I imagined what is happening there, inside, in the heart of the city. Maybe someone already choked stale air, squeezed, choked on all sides. It would be a terrible, silly, silly, improbable, but as real as our whole life is death.
In memory I came case, then remembered forever. At that time I myself was in that wild position, which truly can say laughter, tears, ьрагикоедия, simple life and equally banal death. However, I survived.
It happened once, in College, at the entrance to the dining room. I was then in the first year.
Our battery and still несколькодругих units were last supper. And at this time to meet us, dining beginning to come battery fourth year. Passage to the dining room, поещение old, God knows when built, was a small waiting room thoroughly комнатенку six meters long and three wide. At observance of prudence, if all moved in detonation colliding streams, or would first we missed them, or they have nothing terrible happened, everything would be quiet and peaceful. But life without adventure is not sweet, and, whether of pampering, whether from желаия show their ambition spontaneously emerged on both sides, in the very doors at the entrance, where was opened one leaf, старшекрсники pushed beyond, disagreements with them, who also was the first one to go. In the course at this went proven methods: hitting the caps from the heads of the enemy and зашвыривание their opposite to the movement of their masses, тыки with fists and elbows, just словсная swearing and нахрап. Our movement has slowed, and then stopped. The head of the column stood up and even rolled back, but the tail habit напирал, sensing an opportunity to frolic.
If the head beyond confusion arose, and rear kept on walking as if nothing had happened, but because and подналегли on the front, then the incoming fourth year immediately зачесались fists, and they are even more friendly pushed forward, hearing the cries of indignation their going ahead. In the middle of our column also emerged pugnacious mood, moreover, that the call was made boorish behaviour seniors — there was a pretext for a showdown, and the palm is not challenged ( in school was established tradition of respect for the younger cadets of senior courses, and the first course to be able to peacefully and amicably drive barrel even graduates). Each party wanted to take now prevail in this struggle.
Worst of all I had to those who are in the middle, in the middle of this bloody battle. They serve now as a passive mass, buffer, which both sides extruded from both sides, trying to break the resistance. If the rear much as they could fit with the cackle and passion to put pressure on the front, put his неалую silushku, ahead of this enthusiasm appeared only in the short time, until both sides of the middle not сдавили exactly a huge pressure. Then it was replaced by panic knowing that at any moment they can be crushed, and in the epicenter was already joking aside: there was a struggle for survival. These living Vice with a furious effort tried to crush, crush the middle, where the equally disastrous situation and their own, and others.
After a few moments, there was not the first and fourth year, is not shared out hikes and turn. Were the executioners themselves do not know and do not wish to know what they are doing, drugged дурманом contractions, and sacrifice themselves though, found themselves hostages of the stupidity and madness of the crowd. From the edges of the formed heap-small could hear the cries of animal ecstasy, вырывавшиеся from a dozen breath together with бешеннымнапором forces embedded in the back впередистоящих, and from the epicenter of the hustle, drowned by the roar sounded weak appeals to his own (for enemies cry was generally useless) stop the stampede to give in mind and see that business has already taken far not a joking turnover.
The middle is not remain anything else how only turn off from the hustle and fight for its existence.
Its trouble I was in the heart of this hustle. In my memory until now was Ivo that panic feeling of utter terror, which arose in me then. Sandwiched muffled from all sides, I was not able to inhale breastfeeding and not know what to do. Completely panicked I started to explain to shout others, Thu they are about to crush and strangle me permanently, but they themselves were not in the best state. And near the end I even wept, wept remnants of the air, another former in my lungs, and finally brought a moment of breathlessness. Trapped near nothing could help me. They felt the hell of the force is kind of funny, but at the same time the mad battle on their skin. But strive against those who подолжал come back, not for the first course, and not the fourth, and just individual groups and just cadets wishing to enter and exit, and meet in their way such obstacle.
Pandemonium at the entrance grew with each passing minute, and already there was a sea of heads, that filled themselves, like the flow of water, the whole предбанничек and surrounding corridors.
I cant understand how I am still alive: breathing was simply impossible. Only then I understood how helpless and defenseless people, how weak he is in his body. Here I saw all the reality of that which is usually людине believe and what not remember until the very last day: действительноть, and the certainty of not someone's and his death.
Yes, every person in the abstract, the abstract пониамет that ever die, but the concept it seems to him so эфимерным, and the event itself — matter of such a distant future that he and not think about it as it should, but otherwise he probably realizing that all his worldly ambition and passion just a whim of the eternity and nothingness, a moment, a flash in the bottomless time, lived as something different.
At some point, is probably the most critical, in me the panic and confusion changed suddenly a terrible thirst for life. I said to myself, or someone said to me, whether the inner voice of the flesh-live apart from our consciousness, it несомого, whether the Providence of Fate and of the sky, if you believe that this happens. I had a wild, unbridled desire to get out, get out upstairs, "float" above the surrounding me a sea of heads. My eyes clung to the web, трепыхавшуюся rags, aggravated by dust, under the ceiling предбанничка, if so you could get out of this absorbing me mass. I wanted to become a fly, because she is able to walk on walls and upside down, and because flies never force so бетолково each other. Breathe still it was impossible, but I wanted to breathe freely. But I почуть little gaining air into the lungs, to the extent allowed around me and pressing in from all sides live vise.
My attempts to rise above the others were in vain. All around I climbed up, ытаясь steal the neighbors, so I could be at any time under the feet of others. Everyone tried to escape from the viscous embrace the crowd, одуревшей from this accidental fun. Those covered iron hoops death, they were not to their liking.
Crush continued with furious force. it's hard for me was to understand increases if her head or decreases, I looked more like a удушенного chicken, which then nothing, and would have died, if not powerful instincts of the body, which gave him the wise nature. They were stronger than my spirit and forced to fight for life, when he had already surrendered, leaving my body to his fate. They led the salvation of the body. On their team, I instinctively placed his hands in the castle, his elbows and or pushing, as you could neighbors in misfortune, did not give squeeze yourself chest. Perhaps I increased the bee, but the case concerned спавения own life, and the instinct of self-preservation't allow me to think about anyone but himself. Thus I managed to get a living space needed for breathing, and finally sighed full breast, as if wanted to dial the air in the lungs, and the huge canvas bag, — such a greedy I did.
However, after a few minutes my hands are tired of toil, is powerless расцепились, and the abyss again bubbled around me, but luckily, soon those who wanted to leave, were the majority, broke the resistance of the aspirants go, whose ranks are significantly поубавились, constipation burst and pulled into the street under enormous pressure inside the building.
At that time, the cost, but endured the minutes of the horror experienced in the stampede, remained alive and fresh in my memory until now. So I quite clearly could imagine what is now inside the metal box horned boost cart — urban gratuitous cab-ьрудяги, пользующего their services to the urban poor.
Meanwhile, the crowd at the stop continued furiously to break into the bus, and standing on the side of this business, not without curiosity and interest in watching the happening, I once cursed himself for indecision and несмелость, that together with all now I haven't forward the remaining tiny piece of space at the door, who could not accommodate посотни people, not толкаюсь together with other elbows, IR is not отпихиваю and not сдергиваю the footboard to make room for itself. I tried to get myself to jump into the crowd and could not, and cursed himself again last words. And I had to climb up to me, the region had to hurry, I already great late.
Were fighting inside of me common sense, logic and the fear of the new failure. Most of all I didn't want to look optional, unserious person in the eyes of their товрищей, his замкомвзвода and the commander of the Department. And if I was late today, you probably силььно would fell in their eyes, and I would definitely be in the next time will not be released.
On that I could now hope for? Only at the indulgence and complacency Mr. Case,which has not once deigned to мневыкручиваться of these situations.
Door trolley натруженно roared, trying to close down. So the owner suitcases other times when he wants to put in it too much вещй tormented then, putting incredible efforts and attempts to close.
The pegs trolleybus several people were clearly unnecessary barriers slamming the door but no one, protruding, he would not admit it even to himself, and trolley stood at the bus stop until, finally, they somehow, not a bit inside and disappeared behind the doors, the doors.
When trolleybus moved from a bus stop then I saw him with great regret. Now my lack of bthedet it is noticed for sure. We were not in a hurry, but I was not discouraged.
The people at the bus stop there is more than enough, so I had no doubt that not only the second, but the third троллейбс, if they come, I couldn't.
Two men standing next to me, suddenly went to the roadway, and I saw why: they were going to catch a sweeping way away along the Avenue taxi.
No time to think, as it should be. What I do, I grabbed the last of them, that was closer to me by the shoulder and pulled her, telling him straight in the face: "Take me with you, please. I have no money and I really want to get in school, otherwise I expect big trouble!"
I tried to give my voice to sound more convincing tone, but at the same time not seem pathetic, though, I think that I better just happened. My interlocutor first completely unable to understand what I want from him get, and could not come to himself in surprise, and the rudeness with which I addressed him. Then restrains herself, somehow skeptical looked me up and down, but nothing is said, and made such elusive, Poti ambiguous gesture, that I will, however, almost intuitively guessed that he had no objection, however, makes unpleasant leniency.
At this time, his friend already negotiated with the driver, and when we got in the beauty of "Moskvich", asked:
— "Who's this?
-A familiar, " answered my спаситтель, and we rushed to the center of the city.
They were going somewhere in a different direction, but because dropped me off there, and rushed on.
On his luck here too I was this time't stay long because some deranged, like me, also returned to school. He was in a wheelbarrow and could pass by without stopping, but asked the driver to slow down, seeing me for which I was very grateful to him. Well, when someone understands you and included in your position.
-See how nix city? "he asked.
"Yeah, " I answered. -And what?
"I don't know. Parents in the hospital, and her aunt anywhere from home nose is not vanities, " he answered me, and then we drove in silence, everyone was busy with his own thoughts.
In school I too late after all, and when entered the barracks, already пиготовился to the new взбучке, tuned in to all the bad and unpleasant.
Chapter 18.
In the dormitory onour course there was a strange pandemonium the more unexpected because in this time everything should already be in your classes on the exam classes.
All ran past me, as угарелые, pushing, and the fact that I was late, nobody paid no attention. Nobody noticed, probably, that I was not in place.
From the heart I immediately felt and eased my mind, although, obviously, something happened out of the ordinary. And once everything is running such a serious and concerned, it means that happened some big trouble, only you could not see what.
I just stood there a few minutes on the threshold, watching творящийся in the barracks of a stir.
Passing me by was anxious platoon commander, not even stopping and anything without asking. Behind him rushed замкомвзвод, also not paying any attention to me. Then I met the commander of branch, who threw me on the go: "What are you waiting for?! Get ready!" — ran away.
I never realized what I need to meet and where, and, most importantly, why. And it was unclear which such a case it may happen that everyone would forget about me and will run past, though, as it seemed to me, not my commanders other such things, which can be more important than the proceedings with me about my violations.
In the middle of the corridor with the light several light bulbs, stood the figure of a battalion commander, who was watching мечущимися around him cadets and occasionally was giving orders, someone drove, someone одергивал, someone shouted.
Надтреснуто rang, разоряясь, call on the door the Armoury chamber the case is ran and ran out of her analyzing the cartridge pouches and shops for machines, the cadets.
I stood and could not understand what I do. The only thought that was now in my head, it's a relief about the fact that everything was OK. However, the long remain on the threshold of the entrance to the barracks, when the terms of цаит bustle and hustle, would mean that in the end, on your strange behavior will pay attention, then perhaps it'll be sorry:
Too I stood on the background of their running as угарелые, comrades. Unnecessary and harmful matters, which could then последовть, I was not satisfied at all, so, finally, I also came to the movement, jumped into the Armory, grabbed from the pyramid of the machine, a bayonet, filled pouch that expands, oiler, gathered them all up in a bunch, in his arms, smelling the grease gun, choking hands metal, and ran in my room to put on it all, gather and equipped.
