? MouseProtector (Verified Cape)
Replied on May 3, 2011:
CHEVLER BITCH DON TELL ME WAT TO DO
FUCKIN RUN COWBOY FUKING RUN MY PUNS ARE GRAT
? Gromit (Verified PRT Agent)
Replied on May 3, 2011:
@XxVoid_CowbyxX Moron. Get to the nearest PHQ or PRT officers in your area and tell them Mighty Mouse Is Loose. Remember: Mighty Mouse Is Loose.
Move fast. This has happened once before. I am not joking. Go now.
? XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied May 3, 2011:
Are you serious? Look she doesn't even know who I am. I'm not doing anything wrong and I'm not going up to a PRT agent and saying something that stupid.
? Bagrat (The Guy In The Know) (Veteran Member)
Replied on May 3, 2011:
Oh god go. Go go go go go.
If the video showing you Mouse shoving Mannequin's corpse up Crawler's ass didn't clue you in, search for the `First Wards Fiesta'. That video is still floating around, I'm sure.
Mouse Protector is given one 8 oz cup of coffee once a day between 6-8 AM. And never alcohol. Ever. Run my friend. Run.
End of Page. 1
* * *
"That's why."
Taylor watched the video with a blank face, apparently unfazed by the horrific carnage on the screen. Finally the video came to an end.
"Well. OK. So she's my vice president. I can deal with that. What happened next? With Kegger in Brockton Bay?"
Eidolon nodded and gestured at the computer once more. The screen changed back the taped news broadcast.
"-but then he picked up speed and headed towards Brockton Bay, where he handed out untold amounts of his parahuman powered liquor. It is believed that the amount drank in Brockton Bay is nearly four times that of anywhere else Kegger visited." The news recording continued.
"And that's where I come in?" Taylor inquired.
Eidolon nodded. "Yes. What happened in Brockton Bay is... confusing at best. But the main events are known. You apparently stole one of Armsmaster's halberds." Taylor snorted a laugh. "And he called in Dragon to help get it back." She didn't laugh that time. `Jesus Christ he called in the greatest Tinker in the world to get his halberd back?'
"You somehow made the pair seduce each other, Dragon sent a thank you card by the way, and then stole the aircraft Dragon had flown in on. Then you piloted it up to the Simurgh, seduced her somehow, killed her somehow, stole her powers somehow, and then killed Scion."
Taylor stared for a long moment at the hero. Then she calmly picked up her cup of tea, poured it into the bottle of Whiskey and chugged the entire thing.
"What."
* * *
?Topic: The End Just Got Fucked
In: Boards
Bagrat (Original Poster) (The Guy In The Know) (Veteran Member)
Posted on May 5, 2011:
So the whole damn east coast has gone crazy with Kegger's debut. You know it, I know it, and every person from DC to Brockton Bay has experienced it.
The stories are continuing to come forward and they are hilarious, shocking, terrifying, and sometimes just weird.
Legend making out with his husband on the Empire State. Accord running through Boston wearing nothing but his mask. Mouse Protector butchering the Slaughterhouse Nine. Armsmaster and Dragon having cyber-sex in the middle of Brockton's Bay. The list goes on and on.
But this tops them all.
Skitter has killed the Simurgh. No this is not a joke. The Simurgh exploded in a shower of feathers, Skitter then sprouted wings and returned to Brockton Bay where she has -reportedly— flipped the whole cape scene there on its head. She was last seen talking to some lady in a suit and left the Bay.
Updates on her new location will be posted as soon as I can verify them.
Who the fuck is Skitter you ask? She is a supposedly `new' bug-controlling cape who helped rob the Brockton Bay Central Bank about a month ago with the Undersiders. Recently it has been confirmed that on her first night out she took down Lung via Groin Attack. Apparently, when she fought the Brockton Bay Wards they had nightmares afterwards. She was also instrumental in stopping Bakuda's bombing spree. Why the hell no one knew any of this last week, nobody can say.
So yeah. She's a badass and now she's a badass with an Endbringer under her belt. What's that? How did someone with bug-control take down an Endbringer?
In a way that no one could have possibly expected. Thankfully Dragon's aircraft had guncameras or we would never have seen this.
The thread title? It's literal. Let that sink in. Do you understand now? Yep. That's right.
She fucked it to death.
Let's watch!
(Showing Page 1 of 852)
? JollyGood
Replied on May 5, 2011:
I'm not even going to comment on the fact that fucking an Endbringer will kill them and give you their powers. That is just so fucking stupid it has to be true.
Instead I'm going to say this is the most arousing and disturbing thing I have ever seen.
Excuse me. I'm going to go have sex with my wife.
? XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied on May 5, 2011:
What is with all of these stupid stories? First Mouse Protector and then this.
Faaaaaaaaake!!!!!!!!!!!
? XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied on May 5, 2011:
helhelp she justbrokeinomyhouse
please someione callthe copps
? Gromit (Verified PRT Agent)
Replied on May 5, 2011:
@XxVoid_CowboyxX
...
...
...
...faaaaaaake.
? SpaceBallsOne
Replied on May 5, 2011:
Ok. First of all, that video is fucking HOT. Secondly, I might get yelled at for being disrespectful to the dead, but this answers why Leviathan hit Japan so hard.
He was trying to get rid of people who would jump on his peni— I mean weakness. Yes. Get rid of people who would jump on his weakness. ќ_ќ
... It was all over their hentai back in the day. Water tentacles and all.
? CremeBrule
Replied on May 5, 2011:
Seconding the hotness vote. This is great porn. Already recorded it. Skitter is a little boyish, but that just adds to the appeal. Plus the enthusiasm. I mean I knew TK could do kinky things but damn!
Even the Simurgh exploding into white feathers at the end was sexy.
? DangerDan
Replied on May 5, 2011:
Hnnng... I just exploded too.
? Alexandria (Verified Cape)
Replied on May 5, 2011:
We are attempting to confirm this footage. Regardless of its contents the fact that Dragon's camera footage was leaked is a serious matter.
That being said, the death of an Endbringer is a great thing. Hopefully Skitter will use her new powers in an appropriate and responsible manner.
? Bagrat (Original Poster) (The Guy In The Know) (Veteran Member)
Replied on May 5, 2011:
HOLY FUCK SHE JUST KILLED SCION
? Alexandria (Verified Cape)
Replied May 5, 2011:
Oh fuck the hell yes.
Files that prove Scion was evil.
Now I'm going to go party because we just won everything forever.
End of Page. 1
* * *
"So... let me get this straight. I seduce and kill the Simurgh, take her powers, kill Scion, and then get sworn in as President. With Mouse Protector as my Vice?"
"That's about right."
"And people are happy I killed the most popular, most heroic hero ever?"
"One of our best has been handling the Public Relations angle. I have every confidence it will be taken care of perfectly."
Taylor cocked an eyebrow at him and raised her hands in disbelief. "Bull. Shit. I killed the world's greatest hero and get made president for it. And everyone is accepting that? Why? How?"
Eidolon shifted slightly, uncomfortable at the question. In the end he decided to tell her now rather than have her pre— or post-cognition the knowledge she wanted. "In the Protectorate's employ there is a Thinker who is capable of setting a goal, almost any goal, and then learns the steps needed to accomplish it. We already had premade files that proved Scion planned on either enslaving or eradicating mankind, she's just running propaganda at the moment. Scion had decades of good press but we have perfectly fabricated lies on our side. And the media. That golden bastard's supporters don't have a chance."
She almost reached out and strangled him. For a moment, she felt a flicker off something at the back of her mind, ready and waiting to answer. She stopped herself and took a deep breath.
"... I'm not even going to question why you had `perfect lies' for something like this." Eidolon sighed in relief. "For now." Damn. "And she can do all that? Make sure this doesn't bite me or anyone else in the ass?"
"She's one of our best." Eidolon affirmed. "I have no doubt she's hard at work this very minute."
* * *
Hannah's nose wrinkled as the smell of cigarette smoke made itself known to her senses. She held up the covers to her chest and stared. First she looked at the man asleep next to her, a rather skinny middle-aged man with dark hair, and then at the woman on his other side. Said woman was above the covers of the bed, wearing nothing but a nice hat and smoking the offending cigarette.
"Who are you?" She wasted no time in getting to the heart of the matter.
"Hmm?" The woman took another drag.
"Who are you?" Hannah repeated. She knew Danny, could remember meeting him near the docks the night before. Or was it the night before the night before? Even with her enhanced memory, the time since Kegger had arrived in the Bay seemed a blur.
A good, sweaty, sticky, sore blur filled with drinking and touching and... `Bad Hannah. Bad.' She shook her head slightly and focused.
"My name is Fortuna. I attached myself to your group the night before last and came home with you and Danny here. Don't you remember?"
Hannah managed to remember but her thoughts were still fuzzy. She remembered the woman showing up, yes. But she had showed up only after she and Danny had gotten... more acquainted. She had met Danny near the docks after Clockblocker had stolen Kid Win's hover board and had attempted to time-stop as many people as he could while shouting about cow manure.
So this woman wasn't telling the whole truth. "I think-"
Hannah was cut off as the dark haired woman swiftly leaned over onto Danny's chest, snatched the back of Hannah's neck with her hand and yanked her forward. Hannah didn't even have time to react as the woman's lips pressed against her own.
She tasted of fine liquor and a hint of smoke. The woman seemed to know exactly what she was doing as she tilted Hannah's head to the side, allowing deeper access to her mouth.
Hannah blushed intensely as the woman stopped the French kiss after nearly half a minute. Holy fuck that was a good kiss.
"That— that is not going to convince me-" She panted only to be cut off again as the woman gracefully set one hand on the mattress and used it to hop over the man between them. Fortuna was now straddling the other woman. The bed barely moved.
"Hah, hah. That's nughhhhh~" Hannah cut herself off as Fortuna's free hand went lower. Her other hand stayed at Hannah's neck as the woman nipped and sucked along her throat. At exactly the same moment, Fortuna tugged on Hannah's ear lobe with her teeth as slim fingers entered the woman beneath her.
"Oooh fuck...." How was she doing this so good?
Without thinking, Hannah tried to latch her legs around the woman's waist.
The woman smiled softly at Hannah, her hat not leaving its spot on her head despite her movements. "Path to amazing morning sex."
Hannah barely registered the words through her lust driven mind. "Wha— ohgoodgodyes." Hannah's toes curled as the fingers moved inside her and headed deeper. Fortuna's hand at Hannah's neck strayed towards Danny's waist.
* * *
Skitter pursed her lips in thought. "I'll just have to trust you until I meet this woman myself."
"Fair enough. I'm sure you'll like her. From my understanding you are both extremely devoted to any cause you set yourselves."
Skitter steepled her hands as she stared at him. "No one likes a kiss ass."
"...of course."
She sighed softly. "Alright. So did anything else happen in Brockton while I was off saving the world by killing heroes?"
"Plenty I'm sure, but nothing on the scale of what I've just told you."
* * *
Amy grinned lopsidedly as she took in the sight before. Shadow Stalker, naked except for her mask, was tied up in the corner in what looked like a stockade. Over a dozen different girls were on the floor various stages of undress. In front of the bed, sleeping on the floor was a tentacle... animal. Not a monster. Certainly not. Only villains made monsters and the tentacles were clearly designed to give pleasure.
But none of that really mattered.
The only thing that mattered, the one thing that was truly important... was the blonde in her bed.
Her bed. Hers.
Amy sighed dreamily as she stepped away from the sleeping figure. She admired the blonde hair and the smooth backside that she could finally see after imagining for so long.
It didn't matter that she apparently kidnapped Shadow Stalker. It didn't matter that a dozen girls were caught up in this. Because she'd done it.
She got Victoria. She. Got. Victoria.
She spun on her heel and practically skipped from the room. She hummed tunelessly down the stairs and got ready to make a breakfast for the nude girl still asleep in her bed.
She shivered and moaned from the back of her throat. Victoria was asleep in her bed. Naked.
Then she opened the kitchen door and her beautiful morning shattered.
Victoria was sitting at the kitchen table. She was wearing a half-open bathrobe while she greedily dug into a pair of eggs.
Dean came up from behind Victoria and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He was wearing nothing but a kitchen apron and dropped a plate of crisp bacon next to her.
"You're spoiling me!" Vicky gently punched him on the chest.
`Mother fucker that's supposed to me!'
"Vi-Victoria?" She questioned. Her face was utterly blank.
"Amy, you're up! We were wondering when you would. You got really wild when Kegger showed up."
"Yeah. I guess I did." Her voice was flat. Victoria and Dean didn't seem to notice.
Victoria continued speaking. "Amy, I did see who you brought home. You could have told me you were a lesbian. It wouldn't have bothered me."
"Is that so." Amy's face still hadn't even twitched. "So, where's mom and dad?"
Glory Girl shrugged, which did amazing things to her upper body, and responded. "Got a call from them not too long ago. They're fine and said they'd be back tomorrow. I think they had a private little party of their own." She giggled.
* * *
Carol released a contented sigh and stretched out her limbs as much as she could. There wasn't much room really. On either side of her was a much larger, more muscular body.
