Страница произведения
Войти
Зарегистрироваться
Страница произведения

Worm's Lemons


Жанр:
Опубликован:
24.05.2016 — 20.09.2016
Читателей:
6
Аннотация:
Yeah, it's Lemons, lot of Lemons! You were warned! Спасибо Арийскому Гомофобу за ссылку. 20.09.2016
Предыдущая глава  
↓ Содержание ↓
↑ Свернуть ↑
  Следующая глава
 
 

Oh yes, this was going to be so much fun indeed.


* * *

1.1(2)?

I didn't wake up.

That was because I didn't pass out to begin with.

Still, it was interesting to hear Amy completely freak out over her new...costume. Vicky wasn't in a much better state. I'll spare the details, but needless to say that Invictus is my pick for the most useful perk ever created. The ability to only express what emotions I consciously decided to was worth more than anyone really considered it would be, especially when you're organizing a 'prank' on this sheer scale.

Although...does it really count as a prank if it's actually true?

Hmm...I guess it's in the execution, if you want to be technical and-oh, look, the PRT is here!

Okay, let's see what happens now. Precognition is turned off at the moment, so no spoilers...and they're putting me into quarantine. Awesome. Safe, but boring...and extra-sensory perception is 'on,' now...

Armsmaster: "I'm a hero! Listen to me be important! Put everything in lockdown while I handle the press and be a hero! Thank you nameless PRT grunt who I addressed by your non-existant name only because my social-fu heads-up display remembers you!"

Victoria: "Grr! Bad Dog Hurt Sister, Vicky Smash!"

Miss Militia: "Reasonable Objection! Heartfelt Concern! Sensible Authority Figure Remarks!"

Amy: "Freaking out here! Awesome Armor and Stick-Sword, but can't say I like it or Master/Stranger Protocols! Vicky's but is cute. Must resist urge to mind-rape! Huh, but powers! Powers No Work?! Ah! Return to Freaking out.exe!"

Victoria: "Urge to Kill Rising! Vicky phone home! Dismissive Carol sees validation of concern of Amy's secret villainy! Why can no hit family problems hard enough to fix!"

...huh, evidently Victoria is at least somewhat aware of her mother's neurosis. Well, live and learn.

Armsmaster: "Master/Stranger Protocols!"

Amy: "Fucking Damnit!"

...and we now return to our regularly scheduled program.


* * *

I teleported into the already in-progress conference between the adult members of New Wave, Victoria, Amy, Director Emily Piggot, Armsmaster, and Miss Militia. Unlike a filthy cat, I didn't teleport in above the floor just to show off that I can land on all four feet. Fucking show offs. Instead, I merely appeared off to the side of the meeting. One moment I was elsewhere, then was here.

...with a great many charged powers/weapons ready to blast me if I make a wrong move.

"...knock, knock?" I asked, lamely.

"How did you get in here?" Emily demanded.

"...do you want the mathematical equations regarding how to rewrite local space-time or would 'I can teleport' suffice?" I asked, cocking my doggy head.

"Parahuman provisionally known as 'Orion,' I would ask you to please come with me quietly and without resistance to a holding cell until we can confirm the identity of your creator or the individual who has placed you under their control." Armsmaster stated firmly. "I would further ask that you make no sudden moves, activate any powers, or speak at all."

"No," I replied bluntly.

"Are you refusing to cooperate with a duly appointed representative of a law enforcement agency?" Armsmaster growled threateningly.

"Look, Colin," I said shortly, bringing the man to a standstill. "I just woke up from a several million-year-long hibernation cycle because one of my subroutines picked up an existential threat which is slowly breaking the sealing magic used by one of the most powerful mages in history to bind it. To top off that wonderful wakeup call, my systems couldn't locate any of my permission holders, or their backups, or the backups to those backups and so on, so I went into what you would know as 'safe mode' until I could find someone who won the reincarnation lottery. Now, my main personality core has rebooted, I've had a snack, and I've updated my porn stash, so I'm in a pretty good mood as opposed to a few hours ago. What I'm trying to say is that you're out of your league, kid, now put down the pointy stick before you hurt yourself."

"I must warn you that disseminating information regarding a member of the Protectorate's civilian identity is a felony," he replied darkly. "You will find that mental disorders grant you some amount of leniency, but there are limits which you are fast approaching."

"Orion," it seemed Amy had finally found her voice as she stepped up. She was still dressed in her 'Saturn Knight' armor, though the glaive had fallen back into sub-space from what I could see. Good, she could pick this up pretty quickly. "Please go with Armsmaster and we can sort this all out later, okay? I don't want them to hurt you."

I sighed, "Right. You're Amy, then. It's nice to properly meet you without having my personality bound behind a partition. Since I've dumped a pretty big load on you, I'll be nice. You have command-level access while I'm in safe mode and during combat situations where you, yourself, are not directly endangering noncombatants lives. Outside of those situations and my normal programming, I'm my own...dog. You know, we really need to find the Knight of Mars soon, because not being able to change my form is bullshit."

A round of blinks.

"Following that logic," Armsmaster stated, "If I were to engage you in combat, Ms. Dallon could order you to stand down and allow yourself to be apprehended."

"Sure," I nodded, then shrugged. "If you were actually a threat, yeah. As it is...hmm, okay, look at it this way. You're a Neanderthal who thinks he's hot shit with a stone-tipped spear point. I'm a modern human driving an Abrams tank. Only, well, you're actually more like a lizard armed with a wet noodle, but I'm trying to be generous with my threat assessment since you're trying so hard."

Victoria visibly bit her lip as she tried not to burst out laughing.

Armsmaster was...less amused.

"I will try not to enjoy detaining you...overmuch," Armsmaster scowled.

"Awesome, you do that champ," I gave him a doggy grin. "And, hey, if you do your very best, we'll go out for ice cream later, you can even have sprinkles on yours."

That seemed to be the point where Armsmaster's rage broke as he launched himself at me.

I did...absolutely nothing.

I mean, I did jack shit while he pounded away with careful probing attacks. I'll give him credit, though, as he didn't actually 'lose it' like most people would have. Even his anger-fueled charge was a feint-attack, designed to put me off my balance. While he was occupied, though, I turned my attention back towards the rest of the group, who seemed appropriately on-edge about the whole 'cape battle' happening on the other side of the room.

"So, now that Colin is busy, we can have that talk, right? I really need to talk with Amy sometime soon about the whole 'demon invasion' and 'Old One breaking free,'" I spoke towards the group. The assembled members of New Wave, Miss Militia, and Emily Piggot stiffened as the noise from my 'battle' with Armsmaster cut out despite the fact that it was still obviously going on. I chuckled, "Don't worry, I'm just controlling the vibration of air molecules to produce or eliminate auditory stimulation as needed."

"How many fucking powers do you have?!" Victoria yelled in outrage, finally having enough of my bullshit. "You make crazy stones that give people armor and take away their old powers, you can teleport, you can control air, what else can you do?"

"Well, if you'll direct your attention to my ongoing...well, I'm not sure what it is, but it certainly isn't a fight. Anyway, I'm also invulnerable to anything any of you can possibly throw at me," I stated, my dog body yawning widely as Armsmaster dulled his halberd further on my extraordinarily sturdy form. So far he'd attempted to use a taser, knock out gas, spray tranquilizer, and a dozen other gizmos, but...

...I just kind of stood there, occasionally lifting my leg to give myself a scratch.

Miss Militia, dutiful soldier that she was, kept her...very, very large gun beaded on me as Armsmaster's assaults continued to fail.

"Also," I mentioned casually, "I'm not actually controlling the 'air.' This is just an extremely fine control of what you would consider psychokinesis. Most of my powers are still sealed, though. Until I can find the rest of the rest of the Knights of Sol, they'll be locked."

"Are you still on about this delusion?" Carol asked with irritation. "Amy isn't some reincarnated warrior from some ancient civilization. It's far more likely that you're just an absurdly powerful cape obsessed with some fantasy world you've created for yourself."

...hmm, I wonder if she'd appreciate how close she came to hitting the nail on the head?

"Okay," I stated blandly.

The assembled capes and director, minus Armsmaster of course, blinked.

"Okay?" Emily Piggot scowled. "You'll cease this behavior?"

"Well, no," I replied, shrugging. "Let's say, for the sake of argument, that I'm delusional and insane. Let's say that all of the programming blocks I have in my head are actually just compulsive behaviors. Let's say that my subconscious mind is creating these power sets that I'm giving out instead of awakening ancient reincarnated warriors. There's no such thing as magic and this is all clarketech, okay? We on the same page now?"

"Provisionally," Emily allowed, "What's your point in this thought exercise if you're merely entertaining the notion?"

"Among the many, many, 'powers' I possess is an extremely powerful precognition, or something that is functionally similar enough to be identical," I explained. "In a few short months, this world will be facing an inter-dimensional breach through which an army of monstrous creatures...which we'll say aren't 'demons,' but are some kind of alien menace for the sake of argument. Now, if I do nothing, this world and a hundred thousand others, burn. Trillions will die. If I find and empower the requisite individuals, this future does not happen. Savvy?"

Even as New Wave seemed to still, Emily's scowl darkened.

"I have a few questions for you...Orion, as you can imagine," Emily began and I cut her off.

"Let me go ahead and answer them to save us all the time of you asking them," I projected, rolling my neck to give Armsmaster a better shot at it. "To confirm my status as a powerful precognitive, Leviathan will attack Sao Paulo tomorrow. You're going to pass this information to your superiors because you'll be fired if you don't. When you talk to Director Costa-Brown, tell her these words exactly: 'I know the true path to victory.' She'll know what I mean. Until then, I'm going to need to familiarize Amy with her new powers, so I'll be taking her to somewhere we can safely train. Ciao"

Amy and I teleported.

In front of Armsmaster, where I had stood, was an ice cream sundae. I'd added sprinkles.

When we next appeared, Amy gave a startled squeak before covering herself desperately.

"Where are my fucking clothes!" She screamed, her face red with shame as she looked around for anything to cover up with. Then she stilled.

...and looked up.

"No. Fucking. Way."

"I actually didn't want to do things this way," I sighed. "However, Knights of Sol are protected from precognition and similar abilities, so I can't pinpoint what would get through to you quickest. I decided that a direct approach was best, so here we are."

I was even honest. I'd given all of my 'Knights of Sol' template powers the 'blank' perk as I constructed the power sets over the past few weeks. It's just...I'd also taken 'shattered limiter,' so...I could still see her, but she didn't need to know that.

Besides, this was more fun.

"Consider this an object lesson in your durability," I went on, looking about us at the dusty-white landscape. "You are currently nude, without any armor or weapons, and have no knowledge of your abilities. We are sitting on the surface of the moon. Can you explain how this is happening?"

Amy squeaked again at the reminder of her nakedness, but I'd already seen enough to be appreciative. Her breasts were a good handful, if not quite as large as her sister's, while her waist had the slightest bit of excess flesh on it, she was by no means fat. Even the hair on her lower lips had been carefully trimmed.

"This can't be real," she said, glaring at me with hard brown eyes. "Send me home. I don't want any part of this stupid...stupid plan or whatever!"

"Let me make my pitch and then I'll send you home if you still want to go," I replied.

"Can I at least get some clothes?" She asked hotly.

I rolled my eyes and a blanket appeared on her shoulders, only my powers sparing it from the conditions of the moon's surface. Amy wasted no time in covering herself.

"Okay, here's what I propose. Either I am an ancient gatekeeper and servitor of an impossibly powerful magic empire that spanned the solar system...or I'm a crazy-powerful and crazy-insane cape who's enlisted you to help him with several strange and vexing compulsions, one of which is to train you in the use of the powers I either gave you or awakened. With me so far?" I asked patiently, my tail kicking up small clouds of moon dust.

She gave me a measured and irritated nod.

"Now, think about that weapon I gave you," I instructed. "Just...think, call it to you with your mind."

She sighed and held out a hand. The polearm appeared instantly.

"Why can't I call the clothes to me like this?" Amy asked, scowling.

"Good catch, and it's because I'm tricking your subconscious into desiring to be naked. If you truly wanted your garb to appear, it would. However, because you're not shielding against psychic attack, I can get away with this. Consider it a part of the training we'll start soon."

Amy opened her mouth to argue, then decided better and settled on glaring at me, disagreement clear on her face.

"If you agree to let me train you, I will teach you the full length and breadth of your abilities. You will learn how to harness forces you never even knew existed, reach heights of power that gods aspire to, and how to wield those abilities for the betterment of mankind." I stated calmly and saw a wondering consideration fleetingly enter her eyes.

"That weapon you hold is the reason the asteroid belt exists today. It is known as the Glaive of Silence, but many nicknamed it the 'Planet Buster.' As one of the most destructive armaments in this or any dimension, you will be more than capable of using it to kill anything that crosses your path, if you complete your training."

Here, her eyes went wide and horrified as she gently placed the weapon on the ground. "You, personally, will be able to destroy all of the Endbringers, should you choose to. I will help you every step of the way and, as recompense, I will explain how you could garner your sister's attention in the way in which you crave. Deal?"

123 ... 5354555657 ... 218219220
Предыдущая глава  
↓ Содержание ↓
↑ Свернуть ↑
  Следующая глава



Иные расы и виды существ 11 списков
Ангелы (Произведений: 91)
Оборотни (Произведений: 181)
Орки, гоблины, гномы, назгулы, тролли (Произведений: 41)
Эльфы, эльфы-полукровки, дроу (Произведений: 230)
Привидения, призраки, полтергейсты, духи (Произведений: 74)
Боги, полубоги, божественные сущности (Произведений: 165)
Вампиры (Произведений: 241)
Демоны (Произведений: 265)
Драконы (Произведений: 164)
Особенная раса, вид (созданные автором) (Произведений: 122)
Редкие расы (но не авторские) (Произведений: 107)
Профессии, занятия, стили жизни 8 списков
Внутренний мир человека. Мысли и жизнь 4 списка
Миры фэнтези и фантастики: каноны, апокрифы, смешение жанров 7 списков
О взаимоотношениях 7 списков
Герои 13 списков
Земля 6 списков
Альтернативная история (Произведений: 213)
Аномальные зоны (Произведений: 73)
Городские истории (Произведений: 306)
Исторические фантазии (Произведений: 98)
Постапокалиптика (Произведений: 104)
Стилизации и этнические мотивы (Произведений: 130)
Попадалово 5 списков
Противостояние 9 списков
О чувствах 3 списка
Следующее поколение 4 списка
Детское фэнтези (Произведений: 39)
Для самых маленьких (Произведений: 34)
О животных (Произведений: 48)
Поучительные сказки, притчи (Произведений: 82)
Закрыть
Закрыть
Закрыть
↑ Вверх