"Alright, look, I know we've had our differences. We've both crossed a few lines tonight." Is it bad I can't see where the fire ends and Lung begins? I think that's bad. "I mean, you were going to shoot up a bunch of kids, which I can appreciate as a villainous thing that villains totally do. I'm not going to tell you how to do your job, that would be rude."
Almost as rude as getting back-handed across the rooftop. Ow. "Really? I'm trying to speak here."
"Talking isn't a free action." Lung growls back. At least, that's what I'm assuming he's saying. He's really incoherent at this point, so I'm just going to put little caption boxes underneath him when he growls. How hard did he hit me?
"Right. So you've hit me a few times, and I'm pretty sure I've got some burns. I stung you a few hundred times, mostly in the genitals. We've both crossed a few lines, and I think it'd be best if we both part ways and cool down. If you still want to kill me in the morning-" I'm blessedly cut off by a speeding van-sized dog knocking the super villain clear off the roof.
"Oh sweet convenient comedic timing." I sigh, sitting upright.
"Hey, thanks for the save, because of you we only had to deal with a few thugs... You're not a villain." The first one off the dog turns to face me, brushing blonde hair from her face.
"Why in the world would you think I'm a villain?" I frown, looking over the assembled group.
"Well... You're wearing black." She states. I open my mouth to reply but—
"And spikes. Don't forget the spikes." The masked boy beside her points out.
"Plenty of heroes wear spiky black costumes." I reply, crossing my arms defensively.
"Like who? And don't say batman."
"Bat-damnit." There goes that avenue of defense. "Alright, so my costume is a little edgy."
"Very edgy." The girl smirks.
"A little edgy." I maintain. "That doesn't mean I should be judged by how I look. I did heroic stuff tonight, therefore I'm a hero."
"Right. Well... If you want to not be a hero, you could come with us." The girl smirks.
"Is... That a recruitment pitch?" I blink.
"Well-"
"Because it's the worst recruitment pitch I've ever heard." She blinks. "Seriously, 'Hey, you can come hang with us if you want to be a villain. It'll be great!'" I mock, causing her to frown. "'We can totally do evil stuff together, like stealing puppies-'"
The girl in the back with the crappy wolf-mask growls at me, literally growls at me. "Oooor, robbing banks? I mean, villains rob banks right? That's villainous."
"We're not the same as the other villains in town." The helmeted guy steps forwards. "We don't go around committing hate crimes, or dealing drugs, we just steal from the rich."
"And give to...?"
"Ourselves?" He supplies, shrugging his shoulders. "Look, do you want to get on the dog or not?"
"Ah, no. Good luck being small time crooks or whatever. I'll be sure to let everyone know I totally could have captured you if I wanted to." I wave cheerfully. "Trust me, I will never, ever, ever be a villain."
"That's fine. I don't think we could take you with us, your costume is so edgy it may cause injury." The blonde girl smirks.
"Oh... Yeah?" I reply weakly as they climb aboard and dash out of sight "Damnit!"
* * *
"You should be a villain." Armsmaster states, looking down at the unconscious Lung.
"What." That... I don't know what I expected, really, maybe a more heroic statement? "No 'good job kid'? No, 'you should join the Wards'? Not even a 'We'll make you team leader for soloing Lung'?"
Really, the last option was the minimum I'd accept as a concession.
"Good job kid." He grunts, turning to face me. "Your costume is-"
"Edgy. I know." I don't think I'll ever hear the end of it.
"A PR nightmare. Your powers are a PR nightmare. Do you have a name?" I shake my head, and I can see the disappointment on his face. "You said there were other villains here tonight."
"Yeah, they showed up at the last minute to ruin my dramatic speech, knocked out Lung, gave me a job offer and bolted." I pause for a moment. "I'm reasonably sure they thought I was a villain."
He stares. Long enough for it to be awkward. "Probably the edgy costume. Sir."
"The Undersiders are a relative mystery to us. They typically just resort to theft, snatch and grab missions and the like. Somehow, they continue to evade arrest with ease. I think they have someone powerful backing them." He states.
"Oh! Like some super secret shadow organization, working to pull the strings of every major government from behind the scenes? Plotting the eventual downfall of society and their eventual place as rules of a cape-based feudalistic society?" My eyes widen at the implications.
"That would be retarded." Armsmaster replies coldly. "It's likely just some other super villain using them to get ahead."
"And you want me to infiltrate them and see what I can dig up?" I ponder for a moment, considering the costs and benefits. On the one hand, I'd be doing dangerous, possibly illegal stuff. On the other... I'd have an excuse to be doing dangerous, possibly illegal stuff. "I would be honored to make this sacrifice sir."
He gives me a stiff nod, turning back to his bike. "You should go. Try and arrange a meeting with the Undersiders. Do your best not to get caught. If the PRT catches you-"
"Of course. You can count on me." I smile, turning towards one of the nearby alleyways. Got to make my exit in style, after all.
"Also. I'm taking credit for Lung's capture." He mutters quietly.
"What was that?" I blink, turning around.
"I said I'm confident you'll succeed." He grunts.
* * *
Episode 3
"Madison." I stare at the girl in front of me, who ambushed me outside of class. She stares back at me for a good long moment, looking progressively more nervous. "You forgot what you were supposed to say, didn't you?"
"Yeah..." She sighs, looking down.
"And your cue cards?"
"Lost 'em." She mumbles.
"So..." Man, now I feel awkward.
"I could shove you a bit?" She shrugs, looking hopeful.
"That's really more Sophia's thing." I point out.
"I could... Take your pencil?" She tries, smiling a bit. I sigh, and nod. "Can I take your pencil?"
"Are you asking me if you can steal my pencil?" I suppress a laugh. She's really too bad at this to really hate.
"No... I'm taking your pencil. Give it to me?" She tries, still not managing to be assertive at all.
"But it's my last one, and I have a test!" I feign dramatics, nearly swooning back against the bank of lockers.
"Oh..." She relents, going back to her starting position.
Damn it Madison, I have things to do today. "Look, how about I act really sad, and if anyone asks you can tell them you said something mean, but forgot what it was."
"Okay!" She beams. "You're the best Taylor! We should hang out some time!"
Too dumb to hate.
* * *
"Yo. Villains. It's me, that villain from the other night who totally soloed Lung. We should hang out, and do villain stuff." I'm really not that good at this sort of thing. Thankfully, it seems the Undersiders are willing enough to send me an open invitation on the forums anyways, so maybe it'll work?
"Really?" I can almost taste the sarcasm of the response.
"Really." "Really?" "Really." "Realllllly?" "Really." "... Fugly Bob's. No masks." Fuck.
* * *
"I'm Lisa. This is Alec, and that's Brian." The blonde girl points out, sitting down at the table across from me. I do my most serious pose, with my hands steepled in front of me, and lean forwards.
"You're the Cheshire Cat, you're Renaissance Man, and you're Darth Helmet." I gesture at each in turn, causing them to sigh and snicker in mixed amounts.
"Did you even research us before agreeing to this meeting?" Lisa groans, leaning forwards.
"I skimmed it." I got distracted, sue me. The internet is an interesting place. There are Case 53's doing all sorts of things that shouldn't be viewed on the school internet.
"I'm Tattletale." A reassuring name. "This is Grue." Must, resist, 'eat me' joke. "And Regent."
"Well I didn't vote for you." I snark reflexively, getting a smile from the boy. "So yeah, I'm totally on board with this whole villain thing."
"Really because you seemed reluctant last time." Alec smirks.
"Reluctant?" I feign ignorance.
"I believe your exact words were 'I will never, ever, ever be a villain'." Lisa supplies.
"You're quoting me out of context." I insist, smiling widely. "Seriously, I'm on board, let's go... Beat up homeless people, or rob a cancer ward or meet your mysterious boss."
"I'm not even going to get into this. Lisa, is she alright?" Brian turns to the blonde girl.
"Listen up. I can read minds. I know what you're thinking and all of your— Fuck, that song's going to be in my head all day." Lisa groans, resting her head on the table.
"Holy shit, you can read minds!" I gasp, sitting upright.
"No she can't. No one can read minds." Alec remarks, smiling as the girl gives him the finger. "She's just got inhibitions."
"Intuition. Super intuition. I can tell lots of things by body language and inferences." Lisa explains.
"Those too." The boy shrugs. "Anyways, is she clean?"
Lisa stares at me for a good long moment... "She's fine. Let's just go already."
* * *
"So... Super influenza huh?" Lisa twitches as we fall back from the others.
"You're doing that to annoy me. Stop." She snaps,
"What's your super senses tell you about me, Sherlock?" I grin.
"That you're a hero that's going to betray us." Huh. She's good. "I'm okay with you joining, because I don't like my boss either."
"Chronic backstabbing disorder?"
"I'm a villain, it's a legitimate strategy." She shrugs.
"Useful... Hey, you're just trying to seduce me to the dark side. Well, good luck with that. I'll be the one doing the seducing in this relationship." Yeah, poor choice of words. Neither of us comment on it.
"I'm not worried. There's not a single villainous bone in your body." Lisa smirks.
"Hey! I can totally be a villain! It's not that hard. I just have to gloat a lot, and pose, and make speeches... I'm not that great at public speaking but-"
"That would be a Ham, not a villain. There's a difference." She waves it off. "Alright, we're almost there. Rachel's probably going to try to murder you, just so you know."
"That's... I don't know how to feel about that." Really, who does that? 'Murder the new girl'.
"Just fight her off, show your strength and she'll respect you." Brian suggests, falling back to join up with us.
"Permission to use excessive violence to solve problems?" Hey, being a villain isn't that bad at all!
* * *
"Wow..." Lisa stares, blinking a few times to check her vision. "She's certainly... Creative."
"Heh, haven't seen that move used in ages. Told you it's viable in combat Brian." Alec snickers.
"That? That is not 'viable'. That is not even loosely defined as 'combat'." Brian replies. "But if she keeps this up, she may actually earn Rachel's respect."
"Sit! Stay!" I snap, stepping away from my opponent.
"Aaaaand it's gone." Brian sighs.
"Bark like a dog woman!" I order, dodging as Rachel lunges once more.
"Fifty bucks on 'dead by the end of the week'?" Alec asks, turning to his boss.
"Sucker's bet." Brian sighs.
What If
(Автор: Helpless Kitten)
Start
"Good news, everyone!" Emma declared with a grand wave at a strange device at her side. It looked a bit like a TV that was cutting edge 60 years ago. "I have created something marvelous!"
"Emma," Lisa said, "I'm afraid that someone beat you to the punch on this particular invention. If you want, we can go to a RadioShack and get you caught up on modern tech."
"Fuck you too, Lisa."
"Girls, girls!" Napp— I mean Zach made to placate the two. "Only if I get to watch."
Lisa glared at Emma. "You set that up on purpose." She accused.
Lily snorted in amusement. "Did you need your power to figure that out? They've been doing that ever since they started dating."
"Your sickeningly cute couple activities are supposed to be things like wearing matching, terrible outfits, not setting up terrible jokes." Lisa whined.
"Does that mean you and Alexandria are going to show up to the next Endbringer fight in tacky sweaters?" Riley chimed in innocently.
Lisa placed her forehead in her hands. "Can you just explain the damn machine already?"
"Well," Victoria started, "You interrupted her, so this is all your fault."
Lisa huffed in exasperation. "Is it pick on Lisa day and no one told me?"
"Oh! I want in on that!" Missy exclaimed from her place on a very embarrassed Theo's lap. "The real reason you were a villain was that the government misread the 'u' as an 'o' and tried to shut you down for producing to much smog."
Sabah threw in her two cents. "The PRT uprated Hellhound's power because they thought that she made you from nothing. There was a collective sigh of relief when they realized her power was to make bitches massive, not to make massive bitches."
"Um... That Alexandria thinks of you as a friend makes me question my previous hero worship of her?" Everyone stared at Taylor. She fidgeted self-consciously at the attention. "What?"
"Taylor being adorkable aside, this is the 'What If Machine'! You ask it a what if question and it answers you! Or it should, anyways. Whenever I ask it about a scenario where I'm present, all that shows up is a dark room, what looks like a toppled chair and the sound of a rope creaking." Everyone in the room stiffened in horror. "Not sure what that means, so I thought you guys might have some ideas for questions to ask."
The mood lightened as people began to contemplate which questions to ask. Finally, someone spoke up.
"I have a question..."
Cut These Strings
(Автор: (Mr_John)
It was over.
And just like that, my strings were cut.
I collapsed on the ground, limbs twitching slightly. It took several minutes to get them under control. I didn't dare try to stand— there was no way I'd be able to walk, at this point.
Instead, I just stared at the stars.
This always happened when I completed a Path. I would regain control of my body. After so long, just riding as a passenger in my own head, it's hard to remember how to move correctly. I usually get it down in a couple of minutes, if I really work at it.
I didn't feel like working at it.
...So this was the end. Khepri was lying unconscious not twenty feet away from me— I had to repress a small shiver at that thought— and Scion was dead.
We won.
So why didn't it feel like winning?
