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@RHYMES FROM RUSSIA
POPULAR POETRY PAGE
A.S.Griboyedov
WOE FROM WIT
(A Four-Act Comedy)
Translated by A.S.Vagapov
C A S T :
P a v e l A f a n a s y e v i c h F a m u s o v , head of office
S o f i a P a v l o v n a , his daughter
L i z i e , maid
A l e x e y S t e p a n o v i c h M o l c h a l i n , Famusov's secretary living in his house
A l e x a n d r A n d r e y e v i c h C h a t s k y
C o l o n e l S k a l o z u b , S e r g e y D m i t r i y e v i c h
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a, young lady } the Goriches P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v i c h , her husband
C o u n t T u g o u k h o v s k y
C o u n t e s s , his wife with six daughters
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n n y } the Khryumins C o u n t e s s , the d a u g h t e r
A n t o n A n t o n o v i c h Z a g o r e t s k y
O l d K h l y o s t o v a , Famusov's sister-in-law
M r. N.
M r. D.
R e p e t i l o v
P e t r u s h k a and some footmen. A large number of guests of all ranks and footmen engaged at departure of guests. Famusov's waiters.
The scene is laid in Moscow at Famusov's house.
A C T 1
Scene 1
A sitting room with a big clock in it, to the right is Sofia's bedroom door, the sound of a piano and a flute come from Sofia's room, and then the music ceases. Lizzie is asleep hanging down from the armchair (It is morning. The day is just about to break)
L i z i e (wakes up suddenly, raises from the chair, looks around)
It's dawning ! . .. Oh! How fast
The night has passed !
They didn't let me go to bed
'In expectation of a friend'.
I had to be on the alert,
It's only now that I could doze
Sitting like this, in such a pose !
I could have fallen from the chair !
It's dawn . . . They must be unaware . . .
(knocks at Sofia's door)
Sir ! Madame ! What a plight !
You have been chattering all night,
Sir, are you deaf ? Ma'am, do you hear ?
No, they do not seem to fear.
(walks away from the door)
Look out, uninvited guest !
The father may appear ! I serve a loving woman, yes !
( moves to the door again)
It's time to part. Stop that conversation !
( S o f i a ' s v o i c e )
What time is it ?
L i z i e
The house is all in agitation.
S o f i a (from her room)
What is the time ?
L i z i e
It is about seven, eight or nine . . .
S o f i a (from the same place)
It isn't true.
L i z i e ( goes away)
Ah, this damn amour !
They do not want to get me right . . .
Those shutters keeping out the light !
I'll put the clock a little on, although
There'll be a row, I know.
(gets on the chair, moves the hour hand; the clock strikes and plays the tune)
Scene 2
Lizzie and Famous
L i z i e
It's you, sir ?
F a m u s o v
Yes, it's me.
( stops the clock music)
You naughty little mischief maker ! I didn't know !
I had just wondered what it could be:
Now it's a flute, now it's a piano,
It's much too early in the day
For Sofia to play.
L i z i e
No, sir . . . For once . . .
I did it quite by chance.
F a m u s o v
That's it:
I must be on the watch indeed,
It was intended to be sure.
(cuddles up to her)
You naughty girl, you mischief maker, you are ! . .
L i z i e
Naughty yourself ! The words you say
Do not befit you, do they ?
F a m u s o v
You're modest but the frivolous kind,
Frivolities and mischief are all you have in mind.
L i z i e
It's you who's frivolous, let go, will you ?
Compose yourself, old man. F a m u s o v
I'm not quite old.
L i z i e
Should somebody come in, what shall we do ?
F a m u s o v
Who may come here now, uncalled ?
Is Sofia asleep ?
L i z i e
Just gone to bed.
F a m u s o v
Just now? And what about the night ?
L i z i e
She read.
F a m u s o v
The kind of whim she has, you see ?
L i z i e
She's reading there under lock and key.
F a m u s o v
You tell her what: she mustn't spoil her sight
For reading is of little worth. It's just a fashion.
She doesn't sleep from reading French at night,
I fall asleep when I read Russian.
L i z i e
When she gets up I'll tell her so,
You'll wake her up, I'm afraid, please go.
F a m u s o v
I'll wake her up ? Why, it is you not me
Who starts the clock and makes it play a symphony.
L i z i e (raising her voice)
Now stop it, will you ?
F a m u s o v (shutting her mouth)
Why shout like that ?
Are you going mad ?
L i z i e
There's something wrong about it, I fear.
F a m u s o v
About what, my dear ?
L i z i e
You ought to know for you're not a little one:
Young women's sleep is light at down,
They hear every whisper, a door creak, or a sigh,
They hear everything.
F a m u s o v
No, it's a lie.
S o f i a (her voice comes from her room)
Ah, Lizzie!
F a m u s o v (quickly)
Hush !
(Tiptoeing out of the room hurriedly)
L i z i e (alone in the room)
He's gone. Beware of masters, they
Will cause you trouble any day.
Of all the woes may God deliver us from both
From their love and their wrath.
Scene 3
Lizzie, Sofia candle in hand, followed by Molchalin.
S o f i a
What's up, Liz ? You're making such a noise . . .
L i z i e
You find it hard to part, of course,
Locked up all night — it is enough, my lady.
S o f i a
My, it's the break of day already !
(puts out the candle)
It's light and gloom. The night's so quick to pass !
L i z i e
You may be gloomy. And I feel much worse.
Your father took me by surprise,
I shifted, dodged and told him lies. (to Molchlin) Don't stand like that ! Just take your bow,
I see that you are scared, and how !
Look at the clock. Now just look out -
People are long up and about,
And in the house all is in motion:
They're knocking, walking, cleaning, washing.
S o f i a
Happiness takes no account of time.
L i z i e
You watch the time or not, it's up to you;
I'm in for trouble, I shall get my due.
S o f i a (to Molchalin)
Now you must go. We'll have another tedious day.
L i z i e
God bless you ! Take your hands away !
(Separates them; Molchalin runs into Famusov in the doorway)
Scene 4
Sofia, Lizzie, Molchalin, Famusov.
F a m u s o v
What a surprise ! It's you, Molchalin ?
M o l c h a l i n
Yes.
F a m u s o v
What brings you here, at this hour ? Do confess.
And, Sofia, you, too. Please tell me why
You got up early today ? Don't tell a lie.
How do you come to be together now ?
S o f i a
He just came in.
M o l c h a l i n
I walked around, that is how.
F a m u s o v
Now tell me please, old bloke:
Cannot you choose a better place to walk ?
And you, young lady, hardly out of bed -
There is a man around! By your side !
You read those silly books at night
And that's the fruit of it, I bet.
The French! With all their fashion shops and streets,
Their books and writers and artists,
They break our hearts, they make our money fly,
I wonder why
God will not save us from their needles, pins,
Their bonnets, hats and all the other things.
S o f i a
I'm sorry, father, I'm feeling ill at ease,
I'm so scared, I can hardy breathe.
You were so quick to come. My God!
I'm confused.
F a m u s o v
Well, thanks a lot !
I took you by surprise !
I scared and disturbed you! Very nice !
My dear Sofia, I dare say,
I'm upset myself. All day
I have to run about, full of care and bother.
Now one keeps pestering me now another.
Could I expect the trouble of being told a lie ?
S o f i a (through tears)
Whom by?
F a m u s o v
Well, I may be reproached that I
Keep grumbling all the time for nothing.
Now don't you cry.
I'll tell you something:
I've given you support and care.
Your mother died. I took on this Madame,
Madam Rosiet, your second mere.
A granny with a heart of gold I found for you,
So quick and wise, and of high morals, too.
There is one thing that doesn't do her credit though:
For extra half a thousand or so,
She had the nerve to leave our house . . .
But anyhow it is beyond her powers.
Just look at me: I'm no boaster,
I'm strong and fresh, although my hair is grey,
I'm a widower, I'm free, I'm my own master
And of monastic chastity, they say.
L i z i e
May I ?
F a m u s o v
No, do shut up!
The wretched times! You don't know what to open up !
I see nowadays
People grow wise before their years,
The daughters do, so do the old good men.
Who need the languages we learn ?
We hire tutors, resident or not,
That teach our daughters everything:
To court
And give a sigh, to sing and dance,
As if they wished to marry them to clowns.
You, visitor? Do you want anything ?
From a nowhere man in God forsaken Tver
I made you an assessor and a secretair.
Without me you would have surely been
A nobody. You, man without kith and kin !
S o f i a
I don't know why you should be angry, father.
He's living here, in this house. So what ?
He walked to one room and got into another.
F a m u s o v
He got where he wanted, did he not ?
Why is he here, uninvited?
S o f i a
I'll tell you. Well, it goes like this:
When you were here, you and Liz,
I heard your voice and was so frightened
That I came running like a shot.
F a m u s o v
She'll put the blame on me, it seems.
I came out of time and got them caught !
S o f i a
You caught me nodding, I had dreams.
I'll tell you and you will understand.
F a m u s o v
What dreams had you ?
S o f i a
Shall I tell you ?
F a m u s o v (sits down)
Yes, if you can.
S o f i a
Well . . . Listen . . . First I see
A fragrant meadow and then me
Looking for some kind of grass,
I don't remember which, alas.
Then comes a gentleman, one of those men
That make at once an old good friend.
A man so tactful, wise, as well as
Shy, you know those poor fellows.
F a m u s o v
Don't talk to me about the poor.
A poor man is not a match for you.
S o f i a
And then all vanishes: the meadows and the sky — like magic !
We are in a room. It's dark. Then, just imagine:
Down goes the floor and you come up.
And now the door flies open with a bang,
And in burst monstrous creatures, like a gang.
They fall upon the man, they tear us apart,
I reach for him: he seems so dear to my heart,
You hold him back and take away with you,
And this to hooting, jeering, whistling — boo !
Then he starts shouting.
I woke up there . . . Someone was chatting.
It was your voice, yes, it was you.
So I rushed out to find that you were two.
F a m u s o v
Too bad a dream it is indeed.
I see there's everything in it:
The devil, love and flowers, fright. Too bad !
Well, sir, what do you say to that ?
M o l c h a l i n
I heard you voice . . .
F a m u s o v
It's really strange.
What's there in my voice? Did they arrange
to hear my voice and come around like a clock ?
Why did you come on hearing me talk ?
M o l c h a l i n
The papers, sir.
F a m u s o v
The papers? Oh what an idea !
What made you care for them, my dear ?
Why all this zest ?
(raises)
Now Sofia, I'll set your mind at rest;
Dreams can be strange but I should think
Reality is a more frightful thing.
You looked for grass but in the end
You found a friend.
Well, put that out of your head,
Forget the miracles — they're all wrong.
You'd better go now back to bed. (To Molchalin) Show me your papers, come along.
M o l c h a l i n
I want to tell you, sir, instead:
The papers are in such a mess !
They will be null and void unless
They're certified
And all put right.
F a m u s o v
I'm awfully afraid
They might pile up, accumulate.
I know your kind. You'd keep them all
Stuck up for days in a pigeon-hole.
I'd rather have a paper signed.
Once signed — it's out my mind !
(He and Molchalin go out. He makes way to Molchalin at the door)
Scene 5
Sofia and Lizzie.
L i z i e
The holiday is coming! Time for fun !
To me the day is not a happy one.
My eyes are dim, my heart is blue.
The sin does not much worry me, the rumours do.
S o f i a
I do not care for rumours. Let them be !
Though father will keep crying shame on me.
He always grumbles, scolds and makes one feel unhappy.
You know what he can do now after what happened.
L i z i e
He'll lock you up. That's what he'll do.
I wish he locked up me with you,
I'm afraid, he'll go as far as firing us:
Molchalin, me and all the others.
S o f i a
I'm thinking, happiness is so wayward !
A worse thing happens, yet you get away with it,
For once all worries seemed to be away,
We were lost in music, unaware of time of day,
It seems that fate was guarding us: The time just flew.
No doubt, no alarm . . . But trouble comes out of the blue.
L i z i e
That's it !
You never listen to my foolish judgement.
I told you many times, and I'll say it again
This love of yours is all in vain.
You wouldn't find a better profit. Listen, please:
Like all the Muscovites your father is like this:
He wants a son-in-law with ranks and stars,
Not all of them are rich, alas.
He wishes he had money into the bargain
To live in clover, give a party now and again
Take colonel Skalozub, for instance, he isn't bad:
A would be general and very rich at that.
S o f i a
It's nice !
To hear him talk of ranks and lines !
I'd rather take my own life
Than marry him and be his wife.
L i z i e
He isn't bright. He merely talks a lot.
Of all the men, civilian or not,
There's Chatsky whom I really regard
As most considerate, intelligent and smart.
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