Neo genezis evangelion 1. chapter 19

...The black abyss into which I am rapidly falling.

A swirl of small bright lights of memories, whirling in a crazy dance around me.

Grab one, pull it in...

...The uncle and aunt who raised Shinji, but who didn't give a damn about him...

No, the next one.

...The school where the Youngest studied is a quiet, inconspicuous and unsociable student...

Next.

...Classes in the music room — cello, singing...

No, that's not it, that's not it!..

Suddenly, I noticed some faint, pale memory flash past me. To catch up, to cling tightly... ...In front of me is a huge armored glass, behind which I can see a huge hangar, and in it is my Unit-01, all entangled with wires.

I'm standing in some kind of command center or control room — it's hard for me to understand, everything is too fuzzy and blurry. With some sixth sense, I understand that this is because I am still very young and my mind cannot capture and remember everything around me.

"What is a child doing here?" A soft and velvety male voice is somewhere behind me.

Who is it? I want to turn around and look! Is it not working? But why? Is it because it's already happened?..

"This is Shinji, the son of Commander Ikari," A female voice is also behind me, somewhat reminiscent of Dr. Akagi's voice.

"Ikari, this is not a nursery, but a scientific laboratory! Today is a very important day, so..."

"Kozo, I don't think my son can do anything to stop it", his father's slightly mocking voice. I never remembered him like this...

"I'm sorry, Professor Fuyutsuki, I brought him here," An image of a young woman in a white contact suit appeared on a large screen suspended from the ceiling. Apparently, she was inside my Eva.

I knew who it was.

"Mom!" I exclaimed joyfully, holding out my hands to her.

Yu is really incredibly similar to Rei, or rather the opposite. The same facial features, the same eyes, only not red, but dark brown... Even their haircuts were almost the same, only mom's hair was not ashen, but dark blond.

"Yu, today is such an important experiment, you can't get distracted..." Fuyutsuki drawled uncertainly.

"That's why I took him with me," Shinji's mother smiled. "I want to show him how wonderful our future can be when our work brings security to all of humanity."

"Okay, Yu," the unknown woman spoke up again. "Let's get started."

"All right, Professor Akagi."

Also Akagi. But it's definitely not Ritsuko-it's probably her mother, Naoko.

"Start the first stage of synchronization..."

"Connecting to the main power supply..."

"Apply voltage to all circuits..."

"Cancel! I'm observing signal instability!"

"It is impossible to cancel! The contact has already started!"

"LSL reverses the polarity!!! Turn off the power immediately!!! Otherwise..."

A scream full of inhuman pain and horror hit my ears from the speakers.

"Yu!!!" father's desperate cry.

With my eyes wide open, I looked at the screen and saw, saw how... Damn, I can't even begin to describe IT...

Watching a living person fall apart right in front of your eyes, like... like... How, I do not know what! I can't! Enough!!! Somebody stop this! Save her!!!

I screamed too, wildly and madly-from fear and from... pain...

The LSL became more and more saturated in color, from the blood dissolving in it. Yu's scream gradually faded away...

Why are you sitting there? Help her!!! Well, please... At least someone... At least someone... Mom... How so... Must not... Why?..

Naoko and Fuyutsuki are shouting something, and my father is howling in frustration...

Enough.

...I open my eyes. My head hurts superhumanly — I want to put a bullet in my temple just to get rid of it.

Once again, I'm not surrounded by a command center, but by my room, and I'm not four years old anymore...

Except there are still tears in my eyes. Mine, not mine, it doesn't matter...

Like a somnambulist, I got up from my chair and walked over to the pile of things that were still not disassembled. Boxes, boxes... No, not this one... And not this one... Here it is.

Open it, toss aside a pair of neatly folded white shirts and take out a small photograph in a simple wooden frame.

Yu and Shinji are in her arms, still very young. It was taken somewhere in a park, on the shore of a lake...

I carefully took the photo, got up and walked over to the table. He cleared a space near the monitor, pushing aside the naval reference book, and carefully placed the photo.

I'm sorry, Shinji. I didn't even know how much it hurt... I don't even know how you've been living all this time, with this memory...

I put my head in my hands.

At that moment, when you needed help so much, there was no one near you — Gendo just got scared and ran away from you... You are not so different, in fact, from each other — you are a worthy son of your father...

Bitterness, resentment, and dull hatred...

Do you blame him for your mother's death? Don't, don't think like that... Despite the fact that Father is a calculating and heartless bastard, it seems to me that he really loved Yu... And that's why he's now plotting his own Third Strike to get back together with her. But mom knew what she was doing — she was a scientist, and she understood all the risks, but still decided to try to synchronize with Eva. She's not really dead, after all — her soul is still trapped in Unit-01, and it would be better to direct all efforts to get her out of there, rather than arrange Armageddon...

If the Younger One could, he would probably be crying right now. But souls don't know how to cry... Or do they know how?.. Come on, brother, get ready.

We will defeat all these freaks — Objects A and the Zielevites, and Victor swore to Shinji that we will find a way to get Yu out of Evangelion. We will definitely win, we cannot help but win — there is no one else... Do you know the favorite sayings of the landing?

"No one but us" — so this is about you and me. We are now together until the end, and if one is defeated, the other will continue to complete the task. Do you understand? That's good...

Shinji gradually calms down, coming back to normal... An easy question is interest... What?

What is the second saying of the landing? Well, it's not even a saying, but rather rules or observations...

Rule number one is that the troops fight until reinforcements arrive.

Rule number two is that reinforcements never arrive...

So no one will come to us unless we make a breakthrough ourselves.