| Предыдущая глава |
↓ Содержание ↓
↑ Свернуть ↑
| Следующая глава |
Chapter Two — The Cleanest Bun in the Buniverse
Chapter Two — The Cleanest Bun in the Buniverse Crossover: Cinnamon Bun by RavensDagger
* * *
The bunny-ears girl blinked at Dreamer the way people did sometimes. “Wait, time-out.”Dreamer didn’t like being put in time-out, but then this girl wasn’t Abigail, so she hardly had to listen.“Could we start over? It’s always really confusing for a little bit after you get summoned to another place... are we still on Dirt?”“Dirt?” Dreamer asked. “No, this is the café.”“Ah,” the girl said. She nodded, which was a good sign. “Well, my name’s Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch. I hope we can be friends!”Dreamer considered it, then she shrugged. “Alright. I just need someone to clean this place.”“Oh?” Broccoli asked. She had such a tasty name.“Yeah. Abigail’s gonna open up a café, and it’s very dirty here, so I made a summoning circle and now you’re here to clean.”“I see, I see... sorta,” Broccoli said. She reached up and rubbed her chin, the pose of a mortal doing some serious thinking. “Do you do this often? Summon people to do stuff?”“No, it’s my first time,” Dreamer admitted.Broccoli nodded again. “Good good. Well, I don’t mind helping, I guess, but I need to get back to my friends. They’ll miss me, I hope, and it would really suck to just leave without even a goodbye hug.”Dreamer hadn’t considered that. What if she had to leave Abigail all of a sudden, without even getting goodbye headpats. Of course, Dreamer wouldn’t leave for long. “I can put you back where you were.“ Dreamer decided. She just needed to figure out what the opposite of a summoning circle was.“Oh, that’s nice!” Broccoli said. “So, summoning, huh?”“Yup,” Dreamer said.“You know, if you’re going to summon yourself new friends-and I’m not saying you shouldn’t-then you might want to consider setting up some rules or something.”“Rules?” Dreamer asked. “I just want to make stuff clean.”“Oh, right, we can start with that!” Broccoli waved her arm to the side and Dreamer felt a twist in the air. Magic but not the same sort of magic she was used to. It scurried across the room and attacked the dust and grime, when the magic moved on, there was only sparkly-cleanness left.“Oh, good,” Dreamer said. Her summoning circle really had worked.“Thanks!” Broccoli said. She waved her hands this way and that, and every time she did, there was more clean-ness left behind. “Was it just this room?” she asked.“No, the cafe is downstairs,” Dreamer said. “We should probably do all of the upstairs first.”Broccoli nodded along. She was very agreeable about things, which was nice. A lot of people just did the whole screaming and running routine around Dreamer, and that got old fast. “So! Rules!”“I don’t know if I want rules,” Dreamer said.“Oh, but think about it! You could summon all sorts of friends from all over the place! I’m pretty sure this isn’t Dirt or Earth, so you have far-reaching friend-making potential!”Dreamer tilted her head to the side as she thought, the same way some dogs she'd seen did. When they did it, they usually got pats right after, and she found that it helped her think like a mortal sometimes. “Okay?”Broccoli clapped her hands. “But first! Tell me about yourself!”Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.“Oh, right,” Dreamer said. She was supposed to introduce herself, that was one of those polite things that mortals did when they didn’t dislike each other. “My name is That Which Lies Eternal Dreaming, and a bunch more names, but Abigail and everyone else calls me Dreamer.”“That’s a very cute name,” Broccoli said. “Can I ruffle your hair?” she asked.Dreamer nodded.The bunny girl reached over and waggled her hand over Dreamer’s head, sending her hair this way and that. It wasn’t quite a pat, but it was still very nice. “Thank you,” Dreamer said, because she was very polite.Broccoli laughed. “You’re welcome! So! A café, huh? I guess it’s not open yet?”“Not yet,” Dreamer said. “Abigail wants to open it so that she can make a bunch of money and stuff. I think. I mostly want it to work because it makes Abigail happy.”“And when Abigail is happy you’re happy?” Broccoli asked.Dreamer grinned. She liked it when people caught on fast like that.The two of them made the rounds of the rooms on the upper floor. Broccoli whooshed magic around and cleaned things off. Sometimes she’d pick a thing or two up and set it in its place too, and some trash was too big for her to magic away, so she gave it to Dreamer who ate it. Broccoli seemed a bit confused when Dreamer ate the remains of a broken cup, but it was a clean cup so it didn’t matter.“We should go downstairs next,” Dreamer said.“Alright!” Broccoli agreed. “You know, this isn’t what I expected when I got yoinked over to another world. Last time it was a lot more adventure... though I think this is about the same amount of cleaning.”“Getting yoinked places can be bad, but sometimes it can be good,” Dreamer said sagely. She liked spreading her wisdom around. “Why do you have bunny ears?”“My ears?” Broccoli asked as she reached out and touched the furry stalks sticking out of her head. “I got them when I became a bun. See, I have a tail too.” She wiggled her butt, showing off the brown patch of fur sticking out from a hole in her skirt.“Is it good?” Dreamer asked.The ears twitched. “I like them. I think they’re very cute! But it makes it hard to go hat shopping.”Dreamer considered this. “Is cute... good?”The bunny girl locked eyes with Dreamer. “Cute is the best.”Dreamer was really happy with the results of all this summoning stuff. She was learning all sorts of good things. “Maybe I’ll give myself ears too,” she muttered.Not bunny ears though. Bunnies were food. She’d give herself proper, tentacle ears.“Okay. This is downstairs,” Dreamer said as she opened the backdoor of the café and led Broccoli in. “We need to clean all of this too.”“No problem! Give me ten minutes and the whole place will be cleaner than... uh, something that’s very clean! But after that, I think I’ll have to go back home. Is that okay?”Dreamer smiled. “Yeah, that’s okay. But maybe I can summon you again one day for more cleaning?”“Or for tea! You know, I’m something of an amateur tea-maker myself.”Abigail might find that useful, and Daphne liked tea too. “Okay,” Dreamer said.Now she just needed to figure out what the opposite of a summoning circle was. Circles had two sides, so what was the opposite of two?
* * *
Chapter Three — A Bunny-Girl Did It
Chapter Three — A Bunny-Girl Did It Abigail walked into the cafe, then paused to stare at everything.Not much had changed, really. The furniture was still the same, and the place still needed some fixing, but there was no denying that it was fundamentally different.“Did... did you clean while I wasn’t looking?” Abigail asked.Dreamer thought about it. “No,” she said. Abigail once said that lying was wrong. Dreamer found out later that it was only lying to Abigail that was wrong, lying to other mortals was okay and expected since other mortals could be really dumb when Dreamer told them the truth.Abigail spun around, then looked down at Dreamer. “Then how did this place get so clean?”Dreamer’s other body, the one that had stayed at the cafe while her other other body went with Abigail, stepped up to the top of the part of the room at the rear. “A bunny-girl cleaned it.”“A bunny girl,” Abigail repeated. Her poor mortal ears just weren’t that good sometimes. She started at the Dreamer that was standing at her height thanks to being up a few steps. “Is that why you have... uh... ears?”Abigail had to be referring to Dreamer’s new ears. They were two long tentacle-purple stalks sticking out of the top of Dreamer’s head. She didn’t quite know how to make fur, so they were mostly covered in a fine bristle of tiny soft tentacles. They were a bit wobbly. Every time Dreamer moved her head they flip-flopped around, but from her observations of Broccoli, that was normal.“Are they cute?” Dreamer asked.“Uh... yeah, I guess,” Abigail said.“Would you be more or less likely to pat me if I had bunny ears?”One of Abigail’s eyebrows rose. “Uh. I think... less? I don’t know, those don’t look quite like bunny ears. Sorry?”Dreamer pouted. Her imitation wasn’t quite right. Next time she summoned Broccoli to clean things she’d look at her ears closer. Or maybe she could hunt down a bunny and grab its ears. Daphne had a nice stapler in her office that Dreamer wasn’t allowed to eat.“You haven’t explained who cleaned the cafe yet,” Abigail said.“Oh, that was Broccoli. I made a summoning circle, and she showed up, and then she cleaned everything.”“You... summoned someone?” Abigail asked. “You can do that?”Dreamer shrugged. “Yeah.”“Okay,” Abigail said.Dreamer liked Abigail’s ability to not get weird about stuff. It was very endearing, and easily in her top ten best features.Abigail shook her head and looked around again, then she sniffed at the air. “Wow,” she whispered.“It’s very clean,” Dreamer agreed.“I’m impressed,” Abigail said. “Where did the, uh, person you summoned go?”“I unsummoned them,” Dreamer said. “Then I resummoned them again to make sure that I didn’t splatter them when I sent them back, then I re-unsummoned them back to their home.”“Oh,” Abigail said. She licked her lips, then rubbed at her forehead. “I feel like telling you not to summon people would be counterproductive somehow. But, uh, we need rules if you’re going to summon people.”The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“I was mostly thinking I’d summon customers and neat people for the cafe,” Dreamer said. That way it wouldn’t be hard to keep an eye on them, and Abigail would have a steady stream of clients who could buy her tea and cookies and who would appreciate Abigail’s hard work.Abigail sighed and stepped up the first step on the way up to the counters and the kitchen. She bent down and gave Dreamer a quick hug, the extra height Dreamer had making it a strangely even hug where Abigail didn’t need to lean down at all.“Alright,” Abigail said as she came out of the hug. “Rules... wait, there’s a chalk sign there.”Abigail walked over to one wall where there was a chalkboard hanging by a nail. Dreamer imagined that it was meant to have the daily menu on it or something. She’d spent a lot of time looking at places like the cafe, mostly to clean out people’s leftovers, but the knowledge was now coming in handy in other ways.The Rules1 — What happens in the tea house, stays in the tea house2 — No permanent summoning3 — No summoning anything that can destroy the world4 — Only summon people that you can unsummonAbigail paused, then lowered her chalk. “Okay, I think that should do for now. We can add more of them as things come up.”“Okay,” Dreamer said. The rules were easy enough to remember. The second, third, and forth basically didn’t matter as long as Dreamer was around, and for the first one, all she needed to do was wipe the memories of anyone that came into the shop. Super easy.Abigail placed her hands on her hips and nodded. “This is going to be a disaster,” she said.“It will be okay,” Dreamer said.. “I won’t let anyone eat your cafe, you don’t need to worry.”“Right,” Abigail said. “So, I have a bit of starter money from Daphne, did you want to come with me? We need to pick out new chairs and tables and all that sort of stuff.”Dreamer nodded. “Can we have a tentacle theme?”“I don’t think that’s, uh, likely?”“But some of the other cafes I spied on had themes.”“Yeah, but I don’t know if there’s a lot of... tentacle looking stuff.”Dreamer shrugged. Abigail was probably right. Most humans didn’t have an appropriate appreciation for a good tentacle. “What about a sleep theme?”“I... don’t even know what that would look like,” Abigail said.“We could make the tables out of nightmares, and instead of plates, we could use daydreams.”Abigail shook her head. “I was thinking more... a rustic theme?”“Well, okay, but that sounds less fun than my ideas.”“Sure,” Abigail said. “Less fun, but then more of our future clients will leave with their sanity intact.”“Why would anyone come here to break their sanities?” Dreamer asked.Silly Abigail, this wasn’t the place for that. Though if she really wanted that kind of thing, Dreamer was sure she could accommodate.
* * *
Chapter Four — Kitty Cat
Chapter Four — Kitty Cat Crossover: Stray Cat Strut by RavensDagger
* * *
“This both sounds and looks like a fantastically terrible idea,” Daphne judged judgmentally.Dreamer liked Daphne. The noblewoman was generous with her food, and she loved Abigail, which was a mark in her favour. Abigail loved and trusted her too. Other than Dreamer, Daphne was the only person Abigail ever hugged, and sometimes Dreamer overhead Daphne and Abigail whispering things about marriage and stuff like that before they’d both stop because they had that thing where their faces were too red for them to talk.Still, Daphne could be a big old kill joy sometimes.“It’s just a summoning portal to some other time and place,” Dreamer said. “We need someone to do renovation stuff, and this is less expensive.”Abigail and Daphne had gotten an estimate on how much it would cost to replace all of the furniture in the cafe, and it was a big number. It was almost like Daphne didn’t understand how many pretty dresses and food they could buy with that money, instead of buying stuff like chairs.No one ate chairs, not even Dreamer. People put their butts on those!“It’s not going to, ah, explode or anything, right?” Abigail asked.They were in the little yard at the back of the cafe. Dreamer thought that the best place to summon someone would be inside, but Daphne put her foot down and said that they’d summon people outside, not in.It didn’t change much for Dreamer.“It’s fine,” Dreamer said. “I’ve done this one time before.”She had her circle laid out before her, same as last time. The contents of the magic circle were different, of course. This time she needed someone who was good with furniture and stuff like that. So in one corner they had a whole desk from Daphne’s house that Dreamer had exploded once. On the other corner, they had some torn clothes that had been serving as the curtains in the kitchen.She didn’t know what else to add, so she tossed in a hammer to one side, because she wanted someone like that. And she placed a crossbow she’d found in the arms of some city guard on patrol in the other corner. The circle was on a patch of grass, with a few tufts of feral cat hair left here and there, but Dreamer figured that was okay.“Right, I’m ready to do this,” Dreamer said.“You are aware that none of that counts as a reagent, right?” Daphne asked Abigail. “With the possible exception of that cat hair.”“Let’s give Dreamer a chance,” Abigail said. “If it doesn’t work, then we’ll just hire a carpenter like you said. Okay?”“Fine, fine,” Daphne muttered. “Why is it so easy for you to convince me to do such foolhardy things?”Abigail giggled and bumped her shoulder against Daphne’s.Dreamer refocused on her magic circle. Summoning was a bunch easier than unsummoning, and even that wasn’t too hard. She still had to focus.Abigail had told her that some people pinched their tongue when they focused, so Dreamer got two tentacles next to her mouth, stuck her tongue out, and pinched it.Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!It didn’t help much, but she managed to summon anyway.There was a big poof, and lots of dust and smoke filled the yard. Dreamer guessed that some stuff from the void between places had come along and it didn’t like the stuff this planet was made of, so it poofed on contact.“What the hell?” someone in the smoke asked. They coughed, and Dreamer saw a strange metal hand waving around to dispel the smoke. “Myalis, what’s going on?”Dreamer grabbed the smoke and tossed it aside, leaving her summon standing in the middle of the courtyard.It was a girl! A human girl at that. She had pale skin and brown hair with pink bits in it. Dreamer didn’t know that was an option for humans, but then again, her last summon had bunny ears and a tail so she decided not to judge right away. Then Dreamer noticed the cat ears on the girl’s head. Weird.The girl blinked at them, one eye looking all pink and strange, with a vertical slit in its middle. It sat on the side of her face that was covered in old burn scars.“Uh,” she said. “So, what’s the likelihood I’m tripping balls next to a renfaire?”“Ah, hello!” Abigail said. She bowed, hands clasped before her. “I’m... oh, I should have thought of this before. My name’s Abigail, this is Daphne, and this is Dreamer, and, um, hello.”The girl waved one hand, the meaty one. “Hey,” she said. “Care to explain? Because I was just getting home and I had plans that didn’t involve... where the hell am I?”“You’re behind the cafe,” Dreamer said with a gesture towards the cafe in question.“Thanks pipsqueak,” the girl said.“No, I’m Dreamer,” Dreamer corrected her. She eyed the girl more carefully. “What’s the person living in your head?” There were a lot of little waves and beams lancing out from the girl’s head, but not from her meat-head.One of the girl’s eyebrows rose. She casually reached a hand into her long coat. “That’s Myalis. My AI. I’m a samurai... which doesn’t seem to ring any bells. Myalis?”The girl frowned, then both of her eyebrows rose.“We’re not on Earth?” she asked.“We’re standing on grass,” Dreamer said. This girl was a bit dumb.“I meant my home planet.” She shook her head. “You guys look human enough. So I didn’t get kidnapped by giant plant monsters, that’s cool. Can you tell me what’s going on or will I have to find out the hard way. Hard for you guys, not me.”“We’re really sorry,” Abigail said. “I... this is my fault. I should have considered things from the summoned person’s perspective. I’m truly sorry.”“Uh huh,” the girl said.Daphne stepped up. “We, or rather Dreamer here, summoned someone who could help us with renovations. Might we have your name, by the way?”“I’m Cat, Stray Cat,” the girl whose name was cat but who wasn’t a cat said. She did have cat ears though, and a tail was moving under her coat.Dreamer wondered what it was about her summoning that kept grabbing people with animal bits.Or maybe it was more of a problem with the mortals who like sticking animal bits onto themselves.She decided that must be it. “So, can you help us renovate?” she asked.
* * *
| Предыдущая глава |
↓ Содержание ↓
↑ Свернуть ↑
| Следующая глава |
