Deadtired

"Hmm, yes, I think that would be acceptable," I said.

Alex left with a bob of the head, disappearing deeper into the suite. In the meantime, I reached into an inner pocket and pulled out a folded bundle of clothes, carefully wrapped in wax paper and tied with a neat bow. It was a little dusty, but the packet had been waiting in a pocket dimension for several millennia, so that was only to be expected.

I left it on my seat, trusting Alex to find it. It was a spare set of clothes. I had been wearing the same ones for... well, since I went to sleep, actually. The suit wasn't dirty, not with Alex always hovering around, but it was starting to wear a little.

Besides, perhaps I was due for a change of colours?

With the bath drawn up in no time at all, I slipped into the washroom and unclothed myself, then sank into the steaming-hot water. It felt nice to warm up my old bones a little. I found a scrubber with rough bristles on the end, and used it to rub out the grime and dust caught between my joints. Prestidigitation was good for a quick bit of spot cleaning, and Cleaning magic on its own wasn't to be underestimated, but there was something cathartic about a good scrub.

I exited the bath a short time later, after removing my skull and giving it a vigorous shake under the soapy water.

I made sure to tap out any water caught within.

Mortals often complained about having water in their ears after a swim, but that was nothing compared to having a skull filled with water. Alex approached with a nice fluffy-and pre-heated-towel and patted me down. Then it was time to get changed.

"Ah, it's nice to have a little change," I said as I did up my bowtie in front of a tall mirror.

"It suits you very well, Papa," Alex said with a hint of pride.

I paused. "Suits me? Ohohoho! Well done, Alex."

"Thank you," Alex said with a curtsy that I caught in the mirror.

The new suit was a pale brown, made of tweed, over a dark beige shirt, all paired with a maroon bow-tie.

It was a sharp contrast from my previous suit, which was brown tweed over a beige shirt with a red bowtie.

"Hmm, yes, I like the contrast of the maroon with the paler suit," I said as I twisted my neck left and right. "In any case, are we ready to go?"

Alex nodded. "Yes, Snazzy Daddy."

"Hmm, that might be too far. We're a pun family, not a rhyme family."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's all good," I said forgivingly. It was an understandable mistake to make. We all erred a little in imperfection. Impunfection? Hmm... no, best keep that one to myself, it was a little too forced. "So, any news for the day?" I asked.

The sun was fully up now, though it was still the early hours. The pavilion and the city beyond were just coming awake.

"I haven't had time to see about the daily news," Alex said. "But I can confirm that Mem is back. She's in the pavilion's jail cells below, along with Rob and Mug. Rem was tasked with cleaning the carriage before her bedtime. I don't think they'll have finished before now."

"That's fine. The practice won't hurt, and in any case, I suspect that we'll be travelling with the sect today."

Alex nodded along as I led us both out of the suite I was given and into the main parts of the pavilion. That's where I was intercepted by a bright-eyed Cinder. The night's rest at home seemed to have treated her well, and she'd taken the opportunity to freshen up and change into a cleaner dress herself. "Hello, Harold," she said.

"Hello," I replied. "And good morning. Are we prepared to head out?"

"We are," she said. "Elder Frost and I will be leading you to the edge of the Ashen Lake, by the main sect holdings. I hope that keeping a cultivator's pace for the next part of the voyage is acceptable to you?"

"Certainly," I said. "Though I might want to take some time to grab samples from the local flora and fauna as we move."

"That can be done. I think we all prefer to travel while taking small breaks along the way," Cinder said. "Besides, part of the sect's duties lie in exterminating any threats close to Shitake City. We'd only be doing our work."

"Well said," I replied. "Ah, yes, I must enquire about Mem."

"Mem?" Cinder asked. "Is she well?"

"I imagine so, she's currently in your prison, or so Alex informs me."

"Ah," Cinder said with a slow nod. "That's... plausible. I'll have her retrieved. And the other mantises?"

"I don't care about them," I said. "Though I wonder what the usual procedure would be here?"

"They are... generally considered enemies of the sect which we can do nothing about. A threat and a pest, but one given the blessing of the Jade Throne on account of their affiliation with their godly mother. We suffer a number of losses whenever one strays into the city."

"I can imagine," I said. "Alex didn't paint the two they ran into last night as model citizens."

"Rob and Mug are... surprisingly, not the worst," Cinder said. "They're thieves, and occasionally murderers, but that's the extent of their crimes. They rarely fight any cultivators, and most citizens are used to surrendering some portion of their goods to the two. They'll even avoid mugging the same person twice. Civilians are advised to carry two pouches for their gold, one with lesser denomination coins. It also helps against the more normal type of pick-pocket."

"I see, I see," I replied. "Well, do with them as you please, it's not skin off my nose... which has none to begin with! Oh-hoh!"

Cinder chuckled along with me before she paused to confer with a member of the pavilion staff who was sent scurrying off to fetch Mem.

We gathered outside, where Cinder and I found seats in a small garden behind the main building of the pavilion. Alex darted back within to fetch what we'd need for the journey, and to find and awaken Rem.

I suspected that Mem would be getting an involuntary bath as well, if she was in any state other than perfectly clean.

"So, the lake today?" I asked.

"It's just far enough that we'll be arriving there within the day," Cinder said. "After that, we can cross the lake, possibly overnight if word travelled ahead rapidly enough."

"And beyond that, what's the plan?" I asked.

"There are mountains to cross beyond that. The Mantis Queen's lair is within those, along the southern end of the mountain ridge. If we make it to the foot of the mountains by tomorrow morning, then we can start to scale them. The Ashen Forest sect has long discovered ways into the mountain's cavern system, as well as..." Cinder hesitated. "Are you familiar with dwarves?"

"Stout little fellows? Fond of metalwork and tools? Yes."

"There are several clans living beneath the mountains, and more to the west where they have a fortress city which is frequently besieged by the Mantis queen. We have a... tentative alliance with some of these dwarves."

"I see," I said. "You wouldn't be the first cultivators to make friends with them," I said.

She blinked. "We wouldn't?"

"I met an architect near the ruins of Silvershire who had some dwarven friends as well. Ruolan, I believe?"

Cinder sat up. "Wait... Ruolan from the Abyssal Depths sect?"

"You know her?" I asked.

"We've been rivals for almost my entire life," Cinder said. "We both swore to kill each other... multiple times."

"Ah," I replied. "So you do know her. Small world, I suppose."

"You must tell me how you met," Cinder said. "So that she doesn't get ahead of me in some other way."

"Certainly. It all started as I was exploring an old haunt of mine, the city of Silvershire, which of course are all ruins now. I was also training the Limpet through the early stages of magic use," I began.

* * *

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Chapter Thirteen — Troublesome Time

Chapter Thirteen — Troublesome Time

By the time I was done relating my story to the very attentive Cinder, Alex had returned along with Mem and Rem.

Mem seemed very pleased, and was swaying her head from side to side in an amused fashion. Rem did not seem very pleased, and looked fit to disembowel her sister for what seemed like the crime of being in a good mood.

"Are we ready to head out?" I asked.

"Yes yes yes," Cinder said as she jumped to her feet. "I'll inform the elder that we're to leave. We'll be carrying some light supplies with us. Is there anything in particular you need? Alex?" The first half of that question was aimed at me, but she quickly turned it towards Alex, who was the appropriate person to ask, after all.

Alex hummed. "I think that I have enough supplies in my bag for a few days on the road. Our resupply mission yesterday wasn't as successful as I would have liked, but I did pick up some basics. We'll have plenty to eat and changes of clothes, as well as toiletries."

Rem hissed at the last.

"Do you have an issue with toiletries?" I asked.

Rem raised her arms a little, what I interpreted as mild aggression from her. What would be mild dislike for a more humanoid person. "I hate the bathroom," she said. "It's the worst place to clean. There's too many rules. Then the stupid maid makes me clean myself there. It's gross!"

"Rem has a hard time in the bathroom," Alex said. Then the maid ducked under a swing of Rem's scythe.

"Rem doesn't have a hard time! It's stupid in there."

"You keep destroying the bathroom tissue, and drinking the shampoo," Alex pointed out rather calmly.

"It seems like bathroom matters are a roll-licking good time for you," I said with a skeletal grin.

Rem stared. "What?"

"I'm merely saying that you're not as soap-fisticated as you could be."

Rem glanced between Alex and I. "Is the dead one broken?"

"He's making jokes!" Mem said. "Mem loves jokes. She heard one that was very nice recently."

"Oh?" I asked.

Mem bobbed her head. "Why did the butcher slay two pigs and a goat when the cultivator came to town?"

I had to admit, I didn't know that one. "I don't know, why?" I asked.

Mem blinked her many eyes, then shrugged her shoulders. "Mem doesn't know. She didn't hear the end of the joke because people started screaming at her. But they did laugh after, so it must have been funny."

"Ah... I see."

Cinder cleared her throat. "If... we're all quite ready, I think we can find Elder Frost at the front of the pavilion."

I acquiesced, even though I was still in a mood for a bit more wordplay, but there was a time and place for such things, not to mention a people. Of all the reactions to proper wordplay, by far the worst was the uncomprehending 'what' of someone too foolish to understand.

We found Elder Frost at the front, as promised. She had a small bag on her hip and her arms folded into the sleeves of her dress as she spoke in hushed words with Soot. Char was nearby as well, looking as though he was very recently chastised.

The elder finished speaking with Soot, who nodded then rolled back and away. Soot soon bowed our way before Char grabbed the back of his chair and started pushing him in.

"Hello, Elder Frost," I said.

"Harold," she replied. "Cinder. I was just giving Soot some final instructions. A team from the sect will be arriving soon, to watch over the city in my absence."

"Is it just Mister Soot and Mister Char right now?" Alex asked.

Elder Frost stared for a moment before replying. "For the moment. More sect members are coming down. If... when, we succeed in defeating the Mantis Queen, they'll be charged with clearing the city of her spawn. Especially the more troublesome ones."

"All of my sisters are troublesome," Rem grumbled.

"She's not wrong," Elder Frost agreed. "Though there are degrees to such things. Mem here is accused of kidnapping people's pets and some breaking and entering and trespassing, as well as rooting through people's trash, but never any... terrible crimes, for example."

"Mem didn't kidnap them," Mem said. "She just stayed with them while they were all alone."

"I see," I said. "It's comforting to see that justice is being applied fairly. Shall we be off then?"

The Elder nodded graciously. "Follow me, please," she replied before she took off, walking at a careful pace with the assistance of her cane. She set a very steady pace which we all fell in behind. I didn't mind having her in the lead, the woman clearly knew her way around this city better than I did, and it allowed me some time to glance around and take it all in.

Shitake City seemed like a place that one could fully immerse themselves in for a mortal lifetime without discovering everything there was to learn about it.

It was layered, with space within the walls clearly at a premium, so the locals built up. We actually crossed some newer constructions as we headed north. A few buildings looked like they were being dismantled next to others which were brand new. A renovation? The newer buildings had an extra two floors on their neighbours, which I imagined added up to quite a lot of additional floor space.

"Is the city going through a boom period?" I asked.

"Hmm hmm hmm, a little bit," Cinder replied. "Most of the empire is in a boom at the moment."

"Truly?"

She nodded. "It's only been some fifty or so years since the entire continent was entirely brought into the grasp of the empire."

"Hmph, you wouldn't think that, from the way the Emperor goes on about the empire being eternal and all-encompassing," Elder Frost said. "But it's not wrong. There are, or were, several parts of the continent which were still either unexplored or considered entirely uninhabitable. Some are still the latter, but fewer now than before. Now the Emperor is pushing for a wider expansion."

"Wider?" I asked.

"More children, bigger families," Cinder explained. "A slow but steady cultural shift towards a more agrarian way of life for the majority, to support larger cities for the minority. You don't see it here as much in the far-east of the empire."

"I imagine because the location is less hospitable?"

She nodded. "Exactly. This is no longer the last frontier. There's nothing new to discover in the Flamming Steppes. We don't produce enough food to export much, nor any other resource of great value. What we do have are poisons, a toxic environment, and lots of room."

"Room might be worth much, one day," the elder said. "I visited the west some thirty years ago. The far western sects are much stronger than we, but their lands are also much kinder. The cities are larger and more open, and the sects can afford to pitch a wider net when recruiting from the talented and ambitious."

I hummed to myself. I'd have to ask the Limpet about it. She was surprisingly well-travelled for someone her age. "Do people travel a lot?" I asked. "From... do they call the areas provinces or states?"