"Hahaha, wonderful to hear," he chuckled, clearly pleased that no one was threatening to freeze the restaurant solid anymore.
"Well, seeing as everyone is happy, are you ready to move on, Kitsuna?" Mom asked, putting down her seventh empty glass of beer with a loud clink. She was leaning back in her seat, red-cheeked and grinning like a satisfied cat.
I raised an eyebrow at her, genuinely surprised. I never would have thought Mom would love drinking.' It was oddly endearing but also a little alarming.
I sat up a bit straighter, adjusting my position. To my left, Kayda looked absolutely done with life. She stared off at the mountain of plates I'd left behind with a blank, ghosted expression. It was like she was trying to calculate just how much I had eaten and whether it was physically possible.
"Are you sure you're up for it?" I asked Mom, my gaze still fixed on her while ignoring Kayda's soul-departing stare.
"Huh? What do you mean by 'Will I be alright?' Of course, I'll be alright! Who do you think I am?" Mom asked, proudly puffing her chest out before slurping the last foam from her mug.
"A drunk cat. What else?" I said without missing a beat, grinning as I watched her stunned expression freeze in place.
Kayda raised her hand, flagging down a waiter nearby. "Can you please clean our booth? We'll be here for a while longer," she said calmly.
"Ah, get me another beer," Mom chimed in immediately, lifting the empty mug with renewed determination.
"Don't listen to her. She's cut off," I said, waving a dismissive hand before the poor waiter could be swept into Mom's alcohol spiral.
"Ugh, Kitsuna! "Don't be so mean to your mother," Mom whined, flopping over the table with exaggerated dramatics like some noblewoman fainting in a play.
"Nope. You can't drink anymore. Otherwise, we'll never get anything done today," I said sternly, folding my arms like a disappointed parent.
"I take it the ladies will be settling the bill, then?" the waiter asked with practiced ease.
"Yes, you're right. Can you please bring it to us?" I nodded politely before turning back to Mom, who was now trying to pout her way into getting more beer.
"I'll be right back then," the waiter said, bowing slightly and leaving with a professional smile.
"Kitsuna, can't you let your poor mother enjoy herself?" Mom begged, her lips wobbling into a pout that might have worked if she didn't have beer foam on her nose.
"Hey, Kayda," I gently elbowed her side, "was Mom always like this?"
"Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, Stacy loves to drink," Kayda answered absentmindedly, clearly still caught up in whatever mental math she was doing with my plate stack.
"Huh. So not only is she a horndog, but she's also an alcoholic. Sigh, how problematic," I muttered, dropping my head into my hand and slowly shaking it.
"It's not really that bad," Kayda said, trying to sound reassuring. "She might seem totally drunk and useless, but she still has rationality under all that."
"...If you say so," I said, not fully convinced but not really wanting to argue over something I admittedly didn't know much about.
'Sigh. I never thought Mom was a drinker,' I mused, watching her flop her ears lazily and hum to herself. I guess I didn't know her as well as I thought... or maybe she just hid this side of herself from me. I suppose most parents wouldn't want their kids to see them drunk.'
"You won't get anything from staring at her like that," Kayda said, snapping me from my thoughts. "Anyway, why did you eat so much?"
"...Because they make good food," I replied simply.
"That can't be the only reason."
"Well, it's not. The main reason is because of the drunk cat over there," I said, gesturing toward Mom again.
Snore. Snore.
"She's sleeping," I muttered, baffled by how quickly she passed out.
"Hmm, this is normal for any drunk person, though. Why are you so surprised?"
"What? This is normal?"
"Hey, wasn't your teacher drunk when you guys... you know."
"She was," I said with a sigh, "but she never passed out that quickly."
"Sigh. I just don't understand you. How can you be so knowledgeable at times and so clueless at others-"
Bang!
A loud crashing noise echoed through the restaurant, interrupting Kayda mid-lecture.
"Hmm, what was that?" Mom said sleepily, rubbing her eyes like a cat waking from a nap.
"I don't know," Kayda said, turning her head toward the source of the noise.
"Yeah..." I mumbled, standing up and walking toward the door-only for a loud crashing sound to stop me in my tracks as a body came flying through the wall beside us and smacked into the floor with a heavy thud.
"I can't believe they came back already," the manager said, grunting as he pushed himself upright.
"What happened?" I asked, stepping toward the hole in the wall and peeking through the dust. Through the opening, I saw four people-two guys, two girls-standing around a broken table with smug, arrogant expressions. They looked vaguely dwarven, but... they were far too tall to be pure dwarves.
"Hmm, what do you see?" Kayda asked, standing beside me.
"I don't know. They look like dwarves but are too tall for that," I replied, frowning in confusion.
"What did you just say!?" one of them yelled, stomping toward us.
"Oh, it's you guys," Mom said, sitting upright with a yawn like she was greeting old friends.
"Who are you, old hag?" one of the boys spat.
"Old hag?" Mom repeated the words slowly, her eyes flashing dangerously.
"Hey, what are you guys even?" I asked, deciding to step in before Mom turned them into shish kebabs.
"Tsk, you uneducated plebeian. We are the highest existences in this world-High Dwarfs! Feast your eyes, for you'll never see beings like us ever again!" the loudest one proclaimed.
"High Dwarfs? That's a thing?" I said, glancing at Kayda.
"It is," she replied simply.
"Huh, but it doesn't sound like something amazing. Why are they so arrogant about it?"
"Well..."
"YOU! You filthy demi-human! How dare you insult us!" Another shouted, stomping his foot.
"Shut it. I'm not talking to you," I said, sending him a death glare.
"I, Firhumri Kuni, have been insulted! You, commoner, have offended my honor. I challenge you to a duel!" The one in the back shouted, dramatically stepping forward.
"... Huh!? Kuni? You're a Kuni?"
"Haha! Now the commoner regrets what she said!" he laughed.
"Regret? Fuck no. If you're a Kuni, you're making my life easier," I said, grinning darkly.
"Ugh! You-"
"Come on. Let's go outside for our duel," I said, already walking toward the exit.
"Tsk. Fine. Let's go!" He barked, stomping after me.
"I'll be there in a second," I said, turning to Mom and casually picking her up, tossing her over my shoulder.
"I can walk on my own, Kitsuna," she grumbled, flopping against my back.
"I need a handicap to fight a smith," I said with a cheeky grin.
"You'll regret those words," one of the girls hissed.
"Huh? You still here? I thought I told you to wait outside," I said, eyeing her with a raised brow.
"..."
"Anyway, who are you to him? His girlfriend?" I asked, squinting at the family resemblance.
"I am his twin," she said coldly.
"Oh, no grand introduction?"
"For a commoner like you? I don't owe you anything," she said, not even bothering to look at me.
"Ah, you still have that dumb arrogance," I said as I walked out of the restaurant with my mom following me.
"Hmph!" she snorted, following behind.
"Well then, are you ready, Mister High Dwarf?" I asked once we were outside, surrounded by a forming crowd.
"Tsk, Sebastian. Kill this commoner. I would rather not dirty my hands," he sneered.
"Hmm? You're not going to fight me yourself?" I asked, watching the bodyguard step forward.
Level 786, common class? How is this person his guard?' I thought, confused.
"Hah! Since when did I say I'd fight you?" Fur sneered.
"Sigh, boring," I said, glancing at the bodyguard.
"What, you think I'm weak?" the man shouted.
"I don't think you're weak. I know you are," I said, deadpan.
"Hmph! You-"
With a snap of my fingers, ice spikes erupted beneath him, skewering him in a dozen places. He was dead before he hit the ground.
"WHAT?!" the crowd gasped.
"How dare you kill my bodyguard!" Fur shouted, drawing a hammer.
"Brother, let me," his sister said, stepping in.
"What? No-"
"She's a mage. Let me handle her."
"A mage, huh?" I said, appearing in front of her and swinging a sword down.
"Kyaaa!?" the scream echoed. I stopped the sword an inch from her face. She didn't flinch, but her eyes betrayed her.
Behind her, her brother had pissed himself.
"Make way! Move it! The young master and miss are in trouble!" someone shouted.
"Are they now?" I said, pulling the sword back.
Poof.
The illusion vanished. The girl collapsed, gasping. Her brother passed out.
"Well then, Kitsuna, are you going to drop the illusion now?" Mom asked, still dangling.
"Hmm, you weren't affected?"
"Nope. I broke through already," she grinned.
"You're sober again?"
"Yes, yes. Now drop it."
"Fine." I snapped my fingers. The real bodyguard was on the ground, alive. The two Kuni twins lay passed out in their own piss.
"Sigh. Kitsuna, was that necessary?"
"It was. They attack the manager every time," Kayda said, walking past us toward them.
I was wondering where she went. I guess she talked with the manager.'
"Ah, shit. Stop your wife before she-"
"Kyaaa! That hurts! "Don't pull my ear!" the boy screamed.
"Ah, too late."
"Huh?" I muttered, watching Kayda drag them off by their ears.
"Hey, stop! Let go of the young lords!"
"Do you even know who we are?" Kayda snapped, not stopping.
"Eh?" one of the guards mumbled, too stunned to react.
avataravatar
"Hehehe, it's been a long time, Lady Draig, Lady Kayda." "Unmun Kuni," he said as he bowed respectfully toward the three of us, his hands clasped together in front of him with stiff formality.
'Huh, hammer user? His daughter has the same class... But why is the dumbass a smith? That kind of mismatch is a special talent. Whatever, it's got nothing to do with me.' I thought, side-eyeing the woman next to him-his wife, I assumed. At first glance, she appeared plain, but when I looked at the kids still kneeling on the floor, it became clear that she resembled them. Same eyes, same scowl when annoyed.
"You're a chef?" I blurted out without filtering, eyes still on her. It wasn't meant as an insult, more like surprise. She didn't look the part.
Her only response was a gentle, amused smile, the kind you'd expect from someone who'd heard that reaction one too many times. Unmun, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted by my question.
"Hehe, yes, she is the best chef ever," he said proudly, practically puffing his chest out like a rooster as he gestured at the beautifully arranged snack platters on the table.
"I can smell that she's a great chef," I said, not bothering to hide my interest. I took one of the small plates from the side and began filling it with an aggressive level of snack-to-plate ratio. It was difficult to tell what half of it was, but it smelled divine.
"Kitsu, everyone needs to get some," Mom said, giving me that parental eyebrow lift. Too bad I was immune to that trick by now.
"Not everyone. You two aren't getting any," I said, glaring between her and Kayda as I shielded my plate from their greedy gazes.
"W-Why?" Mom muttered, her eyes locked on the plate like a starving wolf. I swore her pupils were turning into swirls.
"You dragged me to a family meeting that's not even about our family," I said plainly, leaning back with my plate held to my chest like a guarded treasure.
"But-"
"I don't care." I cut her off coldly, taking a bite of one of the fried-looking snacks and staring her dead in the eyes. It was a petty kind of power move, but worth it.
Mom slumped back in defeat, while Kayda sighed as if she were used to these battles.
"So... what are your guys' plans?" Kayda asked, nodding toward the two Kuni brats still kneeling in silent shame.
"That... we can't do anything," Unmun said after a pause, his voice carrying a heavy weight of resignation.
"What do you mean you can't do anything?" Kayda asked, her brow twitching. That tone of annoyance was rising quickly.
"They're high dwarfs," he said quietly, as if that one statement was supposed to explain everything.
"..."
"..."
"And you?" Kayda said, shifting her sharp gaze to the mother.
"I don't do that kind of thing," the woman replied with a perfectly calm tone, her face unreadable.
"You... you don't scold your children?" Kayda repeated the question, blinking as if she had misheard it.
"Yes."
There was a moment of pure silence.
"Sigh... What do I expect? All dwarfs are worship maniacs."
"What?" I asked, confused at the weird bitterness in her muttering.
"Ah, dwarfs worship things easily," Mom muttered, leaning closer to Kayda with a slight frown.
"Wow. That is not something I would have expected," I said, flicking my ears in irritation. The more I heard, the more annoyed I felt.
"Uh..." a soft sound came from the kneeling kids. I turned to find Ranina staring at my ears with sparkles in her eyes, the kind of look I only ever saw from people who were either too curious or too stupid.
I immediately felt a deep wave of discomfort wash over me and shot a glance at Kayda-who also noticed. But unlike my uncomfortable squirm, her glare was pure menace.
"Shorty, don't even think about touching those. Your name, Kuni, won't be able to save you," Kayda warned, her voice low and heavy with threat.
"R-Right, I won't do anything!" Ranina's brother blurted out his response while turning pale and visibly sweating.
"Who said you could talk?" Kayda snapped, glaring at him next.
"EEP!"
"Sigh, we're not getting anywhere," I muttered, dragging a hand down my face.
"Yeah... So guys, why don't you just educate your kids properly?" Kayda said, raising an eyebrow at the two utterly useless parents.
"As we said, we can't do that," the Kuni patriarch replied again, shaking his head like a worn-out teacher giving up on students.
"Sigh... Just send them to the Draig territory. We'll sort them out," Mom said bluntly.
"But-"
"No buts. We can't let kids like them take over a marquis house," Mom said, narrowing her eyes, her voice leaving no room for argument.
"I don't approve," Mr. Kuni said, glaring at her with rare defiance.
"What are you going to do? Swing your little hammer at me? Come on, please-everyone knows you don't have the courage to even try it," Mom shot back with a scoff and a sarcastic smile.
