An odd feeling buzzed in my stomach — like butterflies, only not. A familiar heat I'd been feeling for at least an hour now, but hadn't paid much attention to.

Maybe...

I shook my head. No. Danny was kind and sweet and charming, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to him on some level, but... no.

There were a lot of reasons why I decided no; it wouldn't be right, I wasn't sure I was ready, I had no idea if he was attracted to me. And others.

But the crux of it was that I was enjoying this; just spending time with someone I liked — platonic time. I wanted — needed a friend; Sarah was right about that. But while it was true I hadn't had a real orgasm since weeks before Mark died, I wasn't so starved that I'd complicate matters — or ruin them entirely — by bringing sex into this. Not if I could help it.

I left the bathroom, and worked my way back to Danny. The crowd had filled out as the sun set, and more than half the tables were now stacked with plates of food and surrounded by noisy patrons.

I looked around as I moved through the room. A young couple had taken our places at the dart board. A group of five or six older — that is, middle-aged — folk were dancing by the jukebox. A trio of girls laughed around the pool table as the eight ball was sunk, and they moved to pack up.

I felt a grin coming on. "Hey, Danny — "

Someone bumped into me — or maybe I bumped into them; I wasn't exactly looking where I was going — and I stumbled into Danny. I slid one foot out to try and balance myself, but he caught me in his arms, one hand snaking around my back as my head knocked against his chest and my own hands clutched at his shoulders.

"Carol?" Danny said. "Are you alright?"

Slowly, I stood, regaining my balance. I nodded without looking up at him. "I'm fine." I withdrew my hands from his shoulders and straightened, still not letting him see my face. I could feel the heat in my cheeks. It was an odd feeling, after so long. But I didn't quite move away. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he said, then the awkward silence reared its ugly head once more. "Uh, what were you about to say to me?"

Finally confident my face had returned to its normal state, I looked up at him. He had one eyebrow raised. I glanced over to the pool table — which the trio of girls were just now leaving — then back to Danny and nodded toward it. "Best two out of three?"

* * *

The clock struck eleven just as we were paying off our bills. Danny yawned, rubbing between his eyes. "Whereabouts do you live?" he asked.

I looked at him. "Downtown," I said. "Clearmont Valley."

He blinked, then smiled lopsidedly. "Near Arcadia? That's a way aways. I live on Skylark, not too far from here. Not quite as nice a neighbourhood — " he grinned as he spoke " — but at least we've not had much crime. So..." He scratched at the stubble on his chin. "You want to share a taxi again? Skylark's on the way to Clearmont; could save you a bit of cash."

"I... could live with that," I said, returning the smile.

We had the bartender call us a taxi, and piled into the back. Then —

"Wait!" I said, opening the door again just as the driver was about to pull out. "Sorry. I'll be back in just a moment." I grabbed my bag and hurried back into the bar — and into the bathroom.

I bought six condoms, shoving them as far into my bag as they'd go.

I refused to let myself think about it.

* * *

The drive was quiet. A companionable quiet — probably. I was pretty sure the awkward feeling I had was just in my head. I spent the minutes staring out my window as the city passed by. The assortment of shops and bars and restaurants — most now with their shutters down and security doors locked — quickly faded to run-down suburban houses peppered with the occasional convenience store or post office.

After what felt like an eternity, the taxi pulled on one such suburb. Danny handed the driver a pair of tens, then glanced at me. "Well," he said, "this is my stop. I, uh, had a good time tonight."

I didn't quite manage to look at him directly. "So did I."

"Good, I'm glad. Well... I guess I'll see you at the next meeting?"

"Maybe," I said.

"Or if you ever want to, uh, talk, you can... Did I give you my number?"

I turned toward him a little more, locking my eyes on his collar. "I don't think so."

He scratched at his forehead, this time. For some reason, I took more notice of it now than I had before. That had to be a nervous tic. "Well, that needs to be remedied, I think. Do you have a pen?"

I did. I said as much, and handed it to him. He started scribbling some numbers down on the back of his receipt from the bar.

A nervous tic? He'd been doing that all night. That... that meant he was nervous, right? Why was he nervous?

Danny clicked the pen and handed it back to me, his receipt folded around it. "So, like I said: if you ever want to talk, you can call me there. It's my home number — I can't quite afford a cell yet."

I tucked it into my bag. "Thank you, Danny."

Danny nodded. "Okay," he said. "Well, I'll be seeing you." He got out of the taxi, shutting the door behind him, and walked up the path to his house.

I watched him go.

My fingers brushed the roll of condoms in my bag.

Don't even think about it, Carol, a part of my mind said. Don't ruin this.

You're not going to ruin anything, another, larger part argued. You need this as much as he does. Don't deny yourself.

Don't.

"Danny!"

He turned. I met his eyes.

"Can I... come in?"

He blinked owlishly, but didn't respond. A long moment later, he nodded.

Grabbing my bag, I left the taxi and hurried up to meet him by the porch.

* * *

I kissed him as soon as we were through the door, throwing my bag to the side. Danny froze — just for a moment — then kissed back, sliding his tongue in to meet mine. I leaned up, pressing my body against his, pushing him slightly backward as I ran my hands down to his belt. He bumped into the door, knocking it closed, and blindly threw his keys at a bowl on the entryway cabinet — they missed and fell to the floor. Danny's hands moved to my hips and pulled me closer to him, but not aggressively.

We took uncertain steps deeper into his house, still joined at the mouth. His hands roamed up and down my sides, one stopping just below my hips to squeeze my rear, the other coming to a rest between my shoulder blades. My own hands continued to fumble at his belt, and I finally succeeded in pulling it free of the loops on his pants — it went on the floor with his keys.

He bent down, forcing me to bend backwards to remain connected, and hopped onto one foot, awkwardly removing his shoe. I grabbed his shirt and scrabbled at the buttons. His shoes went on the floor, his shirt following a second later. He withdrew a moment for breath, then he was back again, our tongues resuming their clashing dance.

Then it was my turn.

We continued stumbling backward. I saw a couch out of the corner of my eye, and angled us toward it. Danny pulled at my jacket; I moved to accommodate, and together we freed one of my arms. Then his hands moved to work at the buttons on my own shirt, and I cast off the rest of my jacket myself. He drew my top off my shoulders, pushing my arms back while I kicked off my heels. All we had on now were socks, pants, and underwear.

I felt something bump the back of my leg, and broke our kiss for a moment to look back at it — I'd bumped into the coffee table. I kissed him again, then grabbed his shoulders and turned us around. He made a sound in my mouth, and I pushed him down onto the couch, kneeling over him. I ran a hand down his stomach — slightly pudgy — and slid it beneath his waistline, gently fondling the growing bulge in his pants to hardness.

Danny groaned into my mouth, and pulled apart. I moved to kiss at his throat, rubbing my knees together. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Wait," he said. I kept suckling, but he pushed me back. "Carol, wait." I pulled away, sitting on his stomach and meeting his eyes.

"What?" I said. My voice was husky. I continued fondling him.

He put a hand to his face. "What are we doing?" he sighed.

"Having sex. I hope."

"I mean — we barely know each other. I don't — I — "

I reached back with my spare hand and undid the clasp on my bra, sliding it off my shoulders and letting it drop to the floor.

Danny stared.

I leaned forward, pressing against him again, his chest hair tickling my skin as I brushed my breasts against him. I put one hand on his shoulder for balance; my other hand gripped his hardness, stroking it up and down with a soft touch.

"If you want to stop," I breathed against his cheek, "just tell me."

Danny groaned, rolling his head back. "That's not fair," he said. "I haven't — " He grunted as I tightened my grip momentarily. "It's been a year. More."

I leaned in and kissed him again, slower this time, savouring the feeling. He turned into it. "Does that matter?" I said when I pulled away, then licked a trail up his jaw.

He shuddered, and I released my hold on his shaft, instead sliding down his body and grabbing the waist of his pants with both hands. I peeled it down, slowly. Danny lifted to accommodate, and a few seconds later he had only his underwear on — well, that and his socks. I grabbed the hem of his boxers and dragged them down too. They caught for a moment on his bulge, but then there were past, and his cock popped out to slap against his stomach. He groaned again as the cold air reached his crotch.

I crawled up his body to kiss him again, one hand returning to stroke him, slowly at first, but getting faster. My other hand hooked the waistband of my own pants and began sliding them off. I felt Danny's hand touch mine, and a tension was released on the opposite side, and we slid my pants off together, letting them fall.

I kissed him, our tongues intertwining so deeply we were left panting for breath. I stroked him faster, gripped him tighter, twirled a finger around his nipple and pinched gently. His groans increased in frequency, in fervour, in intensity, and I felt his hands grip my hips almost to the point of pain.

I saw his toes begin to curl out of the corner of my eye. Danny closed his eyes and rolled his head back. "I'm — "

I stopped.

Danny slumped, his head dropping back onto the couch. He groaned again. "Why?"

I pulled back. "One second," I said, putting a finger to his lips. I ran back to the entry way, where I'd dropped my bag, and grabbed the roll of condoms I'd bought. Then I ran back and pulled one from the packet. Danny watched me.

"Were you... carrying those around?" he said. "Just in case?"

I snorted — which was decidedly unfeminine — as I slid the rubber over him. "I bought them in the bathroom," I said. "At the bar. Now be quiet."

Once the condom was on, I crouched over his hips, pushing him back down with one hand and using the other to position his cock just beneath me. Anxiety settled in my stomach.

"W-wait," Danny said. "What about you? Don't we need to — "

"I'm fine," I told him. "I'm wet enough already."

Using one hand to keep things lined up, I lowered myself onto his cock. We both moaned in sync as it pushed inside me, spreading my folds and penetrating to my core. I slid further down, and Danny's hands came up again to grasp my hips. I brought a hand up to massage my breasts, using the other to keep Danny held down. My eyes closed as I rolled my head back, biting my lip and only managing to draw shaky breaths.

After what seemed like an eternity, my hips met his. He was fully inside me. It feels bigger than it looks. I opened my eyes and looked down at Danny. His eyes were glazed, slightly out of focus, his lips parted, his expression one of ecstasy. I smiled — though I expected it ended up as more of a smirk. Very gratifying, Danny. Thank you.

I looked down further, to my hips, where we were joined. My stomach was distended by his girth, my abdominals bulging slightly, making the long-faded scar from my c-section just that little bit more noticeable. I thought I could feel his cock throbbing inside me, but it was probably my imagination. I wiggled my hips a bit, drawing another moan from him. I moaned as well; his pubic hair tickled as it rubbed against my pussy.

Danny's hands slid around my waist. His fingers squeezed my flesh between them, and he bucked his hips beneath me. My smirk became a grin. "Alright, then."

I rolled my hips against his, undulating my back as I did so; a slow, twisting movement forward, and an equally-slow grind back. Repeat, building up speed with each movement. Danny moaned and writhed beneath me. He reached up a hand to pinch at my nipples, but I grabbed it by the wrist and pinned it against the couch, continuing to caress myself with my other hand.

On one forward grind, I lifted myself up until I felt the head of his cock resting just inside my entrance, nearly out. Cool air swept between us, making Danny gasp as a shiver ran through me. Then I pushed myself back down fast, taking him all the way to the root in an instant. Danny shuddered — and his cock shuddered with him, drawing a moan from my lips.

I leaned forward and kissed him, continuing to grind my hips against his, moaning around our joined lips. My breasts squished against his chest, his hair tickling my flesh. I punctuated every few of my hip movements with a hard bucked, impaling myself on Danny's cock and making him grunt each time. Danny's hands slid up behind my back, one squeezing my ass, the other intertwining with my hair, grasping the back of my head.

He pulled me closer to him, bucking his hips beneath me and thrusting inside me himself. I pulled away with a growl, biting his lip as I went, and pulled off the hand on my head. The one on my ass I allowed. Danny got the message, and dropped his other hand to my ass, too. Then I grabbed his head and mashed my lips against his, sending my tongue to swirl in his mouth.

I added a circular motion to my hip movements, gyrating clockwise slowly. Danny groaned and thrusted up harder, faster. I felt heat build in my core, a familiar tingling appearing in my loins.

My phone rang. I ignored it.

I started panting, and sped up my own movements again, grinding my hips against his as hard as I could without hurting myself. I withdrew my hand from his head and instead used it to massage my breasts, pinching and tweaking my nipples; the other hand I sent down to my pussy, where it rubbed and circled and flicked at my clit.

I arched my back as I came — my knees squeezing together over Danny's chest, my head rolling back as cries of pleasure escaped my throat. My entire body shuddered, and my pussy clenched down around his cock as my juices squirted onto his stomach and legs.