Ravensdagger_How_to_Train_Your_Endbringer

In Which Taylor Exposes Herself and Does Books

In Which Taylor Exposes Herself and Does Books Taylor felt like skipping as she walked out of the front doors of Winslow. After pondering it for a few seconds, she gave in to the urge and started skipping past the school, a giggle escaping her at the weird looks she was receiving.At that moment, she couldn't care any less about what people thought of her. She was free. Yeah, sure, she could have toughed it out, or stayed in there to try and fight back, but it was just not worth it. She was sure her friends would be better teachers, and her dad would understand if she explained it right.No, Taylor had much better things to do than stay in school. She was going to be a hero.But first she had to visit the library.Arriving at the corner nearest the school where a bus stop stood empty, Taylor flopped down on the dirty bench and bent her head back until she spotted a white shape floating high above. Leviathan was nearby too, she could tell, but he was being all sneaky-like and keeping out of sight."So, I need to get to the library," she said.{Unit-02 can provide Transportation.}[Flying!]Taylor snorted. "I think I flew with you last time, Simmy, how about I go with Leviathan this time? Plus, we're really not in a hurry."[Incentive. Have Gift for Host-Queen_Administrator.]"Are you trying to bribe me?" Taylor asked, a note of incredulity in her voice.[Affirmative!] her angel-like friend said as she dove out of the sky and came to a hovering stop before the bus stop. The Endbringer reached into the folds of her pleated skirt and Taylor was amazed when she noticed that the skirt had pockets. It must have been some sort of Tinkertech, the kind that normal people couldn't reproduce, otherwise all skirts would have pockets. [Excited. Have created Friendship-Affirming Bracelets!]The Simurgh came to a rest before Taylor, her hands outstretched to reveal three bracelets. Two of them were way too big for Taylor. All of them were made of bands of some shiny metal interwoven like a twisting cord. They looked almost like double helixes, but twisted in on themselves with hundreds of tiny swirls and designs carved into the spaces between links. Every inch or so there was a bead made of a different material.Taylor picked the smallest of the three and weighed it in her hands. It was actually pretty heavy, but it felt solid and tough. "It's pretty," she said.[Joy! Host-Queen_Administrator should Wear. Activate Bracelet.]Taylor slid the bracelet onto her left wrist, then started turning it around. All the beads were white; one of them looked like a bit of marble, another a diamond the size of her thumb knuckle with a hole bored through it, and yet another was a bit of albino coral. It should have been uncomfortable with all the bits sticking out, but it was actually a nice, if tight, fit. "How do I activate it?"[Instructional. Turn bead.] Simmy placed one of the bracelets on her own hand, then spun one of the beads around.A burst of brilliant white light flashed out and a beam shot into the sky. The Simurgh spun around in a tight circle in mid-air, her legs spread in a wide stance and her free hand going to her forehead with a V-is-for-victory sign. A few bursts of light flashed across her bust, hips and legs.When the light dispersed, the Simurgh was dressed in a very short skirt and a similar sailor blouse, but it now had a huge white bow on the front and her hair was done in twin tails that reached down to her waist. [Sailor Simurgh! Chaos Powers Activated!]Taylor was slack-jawed.[Preen. Is Awesome.]"Uhh," Taylor said. She looked down at her own bracelet. "Mine does the same thing?" she asked with a fair amount of apprehension.[Affirmative. Diamond is Sailor Administrator Costume. Marble is Boring Queen Administrator Costume.]Taylor looked at the bracelet, then at the third bead. What was the coral supposed to be then? With a bit of curiosity, she flipped the bead around.She had been expecting a bright burst of light or something. She was not expecting to feel a warm breeze across parts of her body that were not supposed to be feeling any breeze, warm or otherwise.She looked down.She was naked.With a speed that surprised even her, she flipped the marble bead around and almost giggled with embarrassed relief when her Queen Administrator costume weighed down her shoulders. "Oh thank god," she said. There didn't seem to be anyone looking at her on the street, or at least no one that could see her in the relative privacy of the bus shelter. "Why didn't you tell me the other one was empty?"[Didn't ask. Room for Future Costume.]Glaring at her winged friend, Taylor adjusted her robes and tried not to think bad thoughts about the Simurgh, especially since the Endbringer in question was grinning at her. "Thanks for the bracelet, it's really pretty," she said. "Now c'mon, we need to get to the library. I've a bunch of things to look up!"Hopefully her face wouldn't be on fire by the time they got there.

* * *

They really, really, probably, shouldn't have been sent over to the library. In fact, Missy was super certain that sending the Wards to 'discuss inappropriate public behaviour' was either overkill or, in this case, really dumb.But, she was just a little girl in the eyes of her superiors, and with Piggot a little under the weather, it somehow fell on her shoulders to rein in the Queen Administrator as she terrorized and assaulted... books, apparently.Really, she huffed to herself, what was the girl hurting by visiting the library? It was a public place, probably during opening hours, and nobody actually spent time there. As far as Missy was concerned they should have been happy that she was there and not ruining another park or cleaning the streets again.Of course, they didn't send her alone. Oh no, that would have been too easy. They sent her with backup in the form of the most inexperienced Ward on the whole team.The van they were in bounced over a few potholes and finally came to a rumbling stop. "Alright, you've both read your briefing?" the trooper at the front of the van asked them.Vista nodded sharply. It wouldn't do for the troopers to start treating her like a kid, so she always did her best to act mature around them. Browbeat was a little slower on the uptake. "Uh, yeah," he said."Alright," the trooper said. "The target is in the Washington Memorial Library. She was last seen on the second floor. We have had no visual confirmation on the location of the Simurgh, but the Leviathan is unmoving in front of the library. Remember, this is not a policing action. You are not to antagonize, threaten to arrest, or otherwise get into conflict with Queen Administrator. This is a meet and greet only, and as secondary objective, we want you to politely ask her to move her Endbringers away from the library."Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.Vista didn't roll her eyes because that would have been unprofessional. "Understood," she said, then poked Browbeat in the shoulder while gesturing at the door with a shake of her head. "We'll keep in contact," she said.The door slid aside and the two Wards hopped out. They were being dropped just around the corner from the library, out of sight from any windows that might have allowed Queen Administrator to see them.That was, if the Simurgh didn't see them coming.Vista took the lead, Browbeat following on her heels. "So, uh, what do you, um, think is going to happen?" Browbeat said."I think," she began, "That we're either going to meet her, talk a bit, then be dismissed, or something really weird is going to happen and we're both going to end up in Master-Stranger quarantine for the rest of our lives.""Really?"Vista didn't roll her eyes because that would have been rude. "No."They came around the corner with only a bit of help from Vista's power and saw the library building. It was a nice enough bit of architecture, located on a bit of a hill between a fire station and a fancy apartment block. The building was three stories tall, with glass walls stretching all the way up from the bottom and allowing them a good view of the dozens of shelves filled with books within.The architecture was nice, but it wasn't nearly as attention-grabbing as Leviathan. The Endbringer was lounging across the front of the building, using its front steps as a headrest while the rest of his body was sprawled out across the lawn. His tail was thumping against the ground with a constant boom-boom sound that shook the entire neighbourhood.Vista swallowed and waited just out of Leviathan's range. He didn't seem concerned about her. The opposite was not true."Okay, we can do this," she said mostly to herself. She felt, rather than heard, Browbeat standing closer.With a bit of a twist, Vista scampered past the Endbringer and found herself standing right at the entrance of the library, her partner for the afternoon right next to her.The booming thump paused for a second, then it resumed with the same slow cadence.Exhaling, Vista opened the doors and slid into the main lobby area of the library. The entire place was well lit thanks to the huge windows allowing sunlight to stream in, and the air around them held the faintly musky scent of bound paper.Vista looked around, but it was pretty clear that Queen Administrator wasn't on the first floor. After a bit of searching, it was also pretty clear that she wasn't on the second floor either.They finally found her on the third floor, standing next to a long table covered in books. They weren't simple books either, but huge tomes with old leather bindings that looked like they weighed a ton. A few were opened up before Queen Administrator and she was bent over them, reading the fine print while murmuring to herself.They must have made a noise because the cape looked up from her books, then pointed a finger right at Vista. "Vista, from the Wards!" she said.Vista tried a welcoming smile. "That's me," she said. "And this is Browbeat, also from the Wards. He's new.""Brilliant!" Queen Administrator stabbed a finger at the opened book before her. "Vista, would your power allow you to transport stuff across state borders with more ease than a normal person?"The youngest cape in the room froze at the question but answered anyway. "Um, yeah?""Did you send a letter to the secretary of commerce about that?""No?"Queen Administrator's eyes narrowed. "115 U.S.C. §§330a states: Any person or persons having the ability to transport large quantities of fish across state borders must, within 48 hours of developing the ability, contact the secretary of commerce by letter to inform them of such." Queen Administrator stood taller. "Vista, I'm afraid I'm going to have to place you under citizen's arrest for the act of potential fish smuggling."Vista felt her heart sinking. They were right, they were right all along. She was crazy.

* * *

Taylor tried to keep in the giggles, but the look of slowly dawning horror on Vista's face cracked her up too much and she started to laugh. When Vista looked confused instead of horrified it only made it all the worse. "I'm sorry," she said between fits of giggling. "You should have seen your face."Vista huffed and stood as tall as she could, almost as if she wanted to look bigger than she was. It was, frankly, adorable, but Taylor chose not to comment on it. "W-well, you shouldn't have done that," she said.Taylor nodded. "I shouldn't have," she agreed. "So, how can I help two fine Wards of the government?"Vista's shoulders slumped. "Ah, we were sent to ask you what you were doing," she said."Oh, that's an easy one," Taylor replied. "I'm looking up a few things. I wanted to do the whole heroing thing, but I'm not sure what's legal or not. So I came here." She lifted one of the heavy books, then let it thump back down. "Honestly, it's been more trouble than I thought.""Oh," Vista said. "Yeah, I can imagine. The Protectorate has a whole legal team that makes sure that everything we do is okay. It can get really bothersome sometimes." The Ward shrugged. "Honestly, most independents or new heroes just... go out and do whatever. There are a bunch of laws that make it hard to pin anything on someone wearing a costume.""That sounds kinda counter-intuitive. What's to stop just anyone from picking up a mask and doing whatever?"Vista nodded, as if she'd expected the question or at least had heard it before. "Capes. If you try to stop a crime in costume, there are good chances that you'll attract the attention of a cape. That's not a problem if you're one too, but if you're just a normal person, then you might not be ready or able to fight a cape.""Makes sense, but that's not the case here. I'm pretty sure I'm a cape. So what would happen if I try to do the hero thing and accidentally, I dunno, smuggle fish across state lines?"Vista cracked a smile. "Usually, if it's something small, or done while defending yourself or others, the PRT would look the other way. If it's not, well, that's why the Protectorate and PRT exist.""Cool," Taylor said. She was grinning as she slid the cover of one lawbook closed, then placed it atop another. "So, I know you're just here to make sure I wasn't doing anything illegal, like fish smuggling, but I'd feel pretty bad if I just left you behind. Wanna come with me?""Um, where are you going?" Vista asked. She seemed uncertain, and a lot smaller."Oh, I'm going out heroing."Somehow that didn't make Vista look any more confident.

* * *

In Which Taylor gets Mugged

In Which Taylor gets Mugged This was, Vista realized, a disaster.She was running down the stairs and blatantly cheating with her power to keep up with Queen Administrator who was flouncing towards the library's exit. Browbeat was hot on her heels the entire time."Q-Queen Administrator, wait!" she called after the would-be heroine.Much to her surprise, the cape stopped by the doorway and blinked back at Vista. She looked like nothing more than a puppy that had heard its name. A puppy with a WMD. "What's up?""I, you're just going to go out, like that?" Vista asked.Queen Administrator looked down at her costume. She pinched the front of her robes, then let it fall back. "I mean, it's not super practical, I know, but it's not that bad, is it?""Not your costume," Vista rushed to reply. "I mean, you're going to go out and try to do... something without backup, or without any experience? What if you do something wrong and someone gets hurt?"That gave the cape pause and Vista felt herself calming down. The report-at least, the very limited, super-censored version that the Wards got-said that Queen Administrator was actually kind of reasonable if you talked to her. She was really hoping that the cape was going to be reasonable now. "Okay, you're probably right. And I shouldn't do cape-y stuff without telling my dad. Or inviting some of my friends along."Vista almost shuddered with relief. "Exactly.""So, how about you tell me all about it. You've been one of the Wards since, like, forever, right?"After the wild emotional swings she'd just been through, finding out that Queen Administrator was something of a fan was hardly a blip on the radar. "Yeah. I can tell you about anything, really. Well, not anything-anything, but about Wards stuff, if you want."Queen Administrator nodded excitedly. "Brilliant. Tell you what, there's a little ice cream shop just, like, two blocks down. We can go see if they're reopened and talk along the way. How does that sound?"Vista had to fight to keep in the giggles of relief. "That sounds great."Turning on the balls of her feet, Queen Administrator led the way outside and to the front lawn of the library where Leviathan was still lounging. The Endbringer looked more like a hyper-detailed statue than a city-destroying machine. The only giveaway was the slow thump-thump of his tail.Vista was still a little-read: a lot-wary of the Endbringer, but Queen Administrator showed no such concern as she hopped onto his side and stood on what would be the ribs of a normal creature. "Hey, Unit Two, Vista and I are going to head out for ice cream, did you want me to bring you something?" she asked the Endbringer.Leviathan didn't squeak or even so much as move any more than before, but Queen Administrator nodded all the same. "Cool. I'll grab a sundae or something then." With that cryptic and ominous declaration made, she jumped off the Endbringer's side.Vista almost squeaked, expecting the girl to come to an untimely demise or at least hurt herself in the fall, but quicker than she could really register, Leviathan caught his mistress by the scruff of her costume and lowered her down gently. She kept on walking as if she hadn't narrowly avoided a fall. "Are you coming?" she shouted back.With some creative warping of space around the Endbringer, Vista followed after the obviously insane cape. "So, he's just going to stay there?" she asked."I guess. He can't exactly fit in some of the smaller streets, what with the wires and all. And, uh, when he does the roof hopping thing it usually ends with him going through the buildings, so that's a no."Vista shook her head to clear the mental image of Leviathan, stuck up to his armpits in an apartment complex. She couldn't afford to giggle. She was representing the PRT and Wards; she had to be professional. "You wanted to ask about hero stuff?" she prompted the older girl back onto a safe line of discussion."Yes! Okay. Okay, so, I know that you're a hero because of all the merchandise and the costume and all that, but that stuff's all just... fluff, you know? What do you guys actually do that's heroic? Like, I know Amy heals people all the time, but we don't all have powers that are that cool. So her sister Vicky goes around stopping robberies and things like that."Vista hummed in thought when Queen Administrator finally paused for breath. They were past the library now, and had actually just walked past the unmarked PRT van that had dropped them off. Vista was walking on the street-side of the sidewalk, amusing herself by stepping on the very edge of the path while balancing carefully not to fall into the street. She was, of course, cheating the entire time. "It's not fun, at first. There's a lot of PR stuff, and we have to shake babies and kiss hands and all that," she said.Queen Administrator snorted at the lame joke. "But it's not like that all the time, is it?"Vista shook her head and refocused. "No, we get a lot of training. How to take someone down without hurting anyone, how to use your power more effectively and all sorts of teamwork drills. Mostly it's about preparing us to be members of the Protectorate. If anything, they're the real heroes and we're just... sidekicks, at best."They came around a corner onto a street bisected by a few alleyways. At the end of the street it shifted from residential to commercial. She actually recognized the area from her patrols. "We still get to do things. I've been in fights against some nasty people, like Hookwolf. And just a bit ago we got to try and stop a bank robbery. That was kind of awesome."Missy was about to go on, to tell Queen Administrator that they really did want to make a difference, when there was a sudden scuffle off to her side.She turned, only to see the cape she'd been talking to be pulled into the dark recesses of an alley.Queen Administrator was pinned to one dirty wall, a man standing before her in a dirty jacket and dirty pants, a handgun in his off-hand pointed right at the cape's face. "Give— give me all your money!" he yelled.Vista froze. She had seen muggings before, she'd done patrols in the worse parts of town and had seen that same sort of desperate person. Still, they usually had the sense not to try and attack a cape. Her mind ran through the possibilities even as she spun around and waited for an opportunity to jump in and shove the man away."Are you robbing me?" Queen Administrator asked. She sounded genuinely confused.What would happen if he shot her, or if the cape died? Would the Endbringers rampage? Both of them? Vista had friends here, her family lived here. Would they survive two Endbringers hitting the Bay at once? And what of Queen Administrator herself? As far as Vista had seen she was a nice if flighty girl who didn't deserve anything bad happening to her."Y-yeah, I'm doing that," the man said. Spittle flew out with every word and Queen Administrator turned her face away. "Gimme your money!"The cape turned to face him, her brows scrunched in a glare under her hood. "No. You're being very rude."The mugger blinked stupidly at the statement and his arm moved to the side.Vista jumped. She warped what little space was between Queen Administrator and the mugger until he was facing an empty wall next to her, then ran, her power cutting the distance to nothing.Her shoulder caught him right in the ribs while her off hand wrapped around his wrist and yanked it up and away. While he reeled back, she brought her elbow up and caught him in the gut hard enough that he exhaled with a violent cough.As the mugger fell, Vista warped around to behind him, brought his arm up to the middle of his back, and yanked. His hand spasmed open, dropping the handgun on the ground with a clatter.She kicked it away before hitting him in the back of one knee hard enough that he collapsed face-first into the alley ground. "You, are under arrest," she hissed while pulling out zip-ties from a back pocket."That was awesome!"Missy spun to find Queen Administrator clapping, a wide grin on her face. "You were like, kapah, and pow, and bam, and he was like 'no,' then you were like, 'yeah' and the gun went flying and he couldn't stop you cause you're totally awesome." Queen Administrator babbled while gesturing with vague karate-like motions that Vista was completely certain she hadn't made."Um, thanks," Vista said. "Just doing my job?"The cape nodded, her smile not fading an inch. "You were super cool," she declared."Ah, well," Vista replied. She looked down to hide the bit of a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Anyway, we need to call this in." She pressed a finger to the side of her visor and started relaying the details to an attentive console. It only took a few seconds to have them call the police for her.Queen Administrator studied her the whole time, and there was a spark of something mischievous in her eyes that worried Missy.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation."That's it," she said as she removed her finger. "We just have to wait a few minutes and they'll pick him up." She poked at the man's back, stopping his rambling swearing for a few breaths before he resumed.Everyone ignored him. "That was really well done," Queen Administrator said. "We should go out and find other muggers.""Uh, maybe after the police arrive?" Vista tried to stall. "Weren't you afraid? He had you at gunpoint."Queen Administrator shrugged. "Not really. Shooting me would have hurt, so my friends would stop him before he did it.""Your... friends?" Vista asked. She knew what Queen Administrator was talking about, but the idea just felt off. The man wouldn't shoot her because her Endbringers were supposed to stop her from getting hurt. It made sense, but they weren't around to help, were they?Vista swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat and slowly looked up. There, sitting on the edge of the roof in what she recognized from Saturday morning cartoons as a Sailor Senshi uniform, was the Simurgh.The Endbringer waved."Oh," Vista said."Yup," Queen Administrator said. She looked up too, her head tilting to one side as if listening to something only she could hear. "Simmy says thanks for helping. Well, that's not what she said, but it's close enough. Also, she says that your costume makes you look like a marshmallow."Vista did not know what to say in response to that."It's a compliment, I think," Queen Administrator clarified. "So, can we go yet?""N-not yet," Vista said. "We have to wait for the police.""I could watch him."Both girls jumped nearly a foot off the ground and they would-had they been asked-both deny being the one that squeaked.Browbeat stared at the two of them as if they were idiots, then pointed at the mugger still swearing on the ground. "Um, if you want to keep going. I can handle him for a bit.""When did you get here?" Queen Administrator asked.Browbeat somehow managed to look contrite even through his mask. "Sorry, I wasn't being very loud. I didn't want to interrupt you guys.""Wait, you're saying you were there the whole time?" Queen Administrator looked up to the Simurgh. The Endbringer shrugged."Yeah?" he said. "I don't like being the centre of attention is all."Queen Administrator gave him a very dubious look, then turned to Missy as if to confirm it. Missy just shrugged. It was true that he wasn't very loud. "Okay then, so you'll stay here, and we can go on?""Sure. I don't really like ice cream anyway."

* * *

Taylor gasped in mock horror. "You don't like ice cream!" Browbeat shot her a look that she couldn't quite read and she had to suppress another giggle. "I guess that's okay. Hey, Vista, want to stop more muggings on the way to the ice cream parlour?"Vista snorted. "I don't think we'll be running into any more muggers, Queen Administrator," she said."Aww, call me Queen, and you never know!" Taylor suppressed the urge to smile as she shared what she hoped was a knowing look with the Simurgh. The Endbringer returned a less-than-inconspicuous wink.They were still in a dirty alleyway right off one of the less popular streets and as far as Taylor knew that just wouldn't do. If she was going to be a hero, then obviously she needed to find something heroic to do. Something like stopping muggers or catching people in the act of littering. Vile things that made the city of Brockton Bay a worse place to live."Come on, Vista," Taylor said as she trooped out of the alley. "I'm sure we can find someone doing something vile and evil."The Ward followed after her, what little she could see of her face half bemused and half terrified.Taylor paused as she reached the street. "You'll have to show me how to do all the cool kung-fu bits," she admitted. "But I guess we can start by finding someone to practice on first.""Um, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," Vista pointed out. She sounded very reasonable for a girl that was still a few years younger than Taylor.The street was, as it had been earlier, rather empty. There were a few people that looked as if they were moving things into an apartment block nearby, a couple of teens sitting on a porch while staring at their phones and not talking to each other, and a single woman with a can of soda tipped back to drink. Taylor eyed them all one by one, searching for something heroic to do.Then the woman tossed her can off to the side where it clanged against the asphalt.Eyes wide, Taylor looked both ways and crossed the street. Vista was after her with just a step and the Simurgh floated above, her head cocked to one side as though curious."Queen, what are you doing?" Vista asked."Didn't you see that woman littering? I'm going to arrest her."The Ward paused, almost missing a step. "Queen, no.""Queen, yes!" Taylor replied.The woman slid into a side road a little ways ahead. She was getting away, but she wasn't fast enough!Picking up the pace a little, Taylor spun around the corner and found her pinned against a wall, two men pointing knives at her chest. They were dirty, bedraggled people, looking like little more than castoff Merchants. Taylor narrowed her eyes. "You! I'm placing you under arrest!"The two muggers and the litterer paused mid-mugging to stare at Taylor, then they followed the direction of her finger to the middle of the litterer's chest. "Um, me?" the woman asked."Yes! Littering is a crime. And after all the effort we went through to clean this place. You really ought to be more considerate.""Um, Queen, I think those two were, um, also committing a crime," Vista pointed out.Taylor narrowed her eyes, her focus shifting onto the two men with knives. "Arrest them all and let the cops sort it out?" she asked."I think we could let the lady go if she promises not to throw trash in the streets again," Vista said.The woman was nodding violently, her eyes shifting from Taylor to Vista, to the Simurgh who was floating above them with an empty can of soda in one hand while her other hand waved from side to side in a 'no-no' gesture. The Endbringer looked very disappointed and Taylor could sympathise. Wasn't the woman aware of what littering did to nature?Taylor extended a hand to the woman, littlest finger extended. "Will you promise not to litter again?" she asked."I-I promise!" the woman squeaked."Pinky promise?" Taylor prompted, raising her hand a little.The woman stared for half a second before joining her pinky to Taylors and they shook. "Can, can I go now?" she asked.The Simurgh lowered herself to street level, then dropped the soda can only for it to hover to a stop before the woman. She snatched it out of the air, turned on a heel, and ran."So, that was fun. Want to zip tie those muggers too and then we can go?" Taylor asked Vista."Sure," Vista said. She had started to lose that edge of tension, almost as if she had given up any hope of the rest of her day making any sense and was just flowing with the blows now. Taylor felt pride well up in her chest at a job well done."And after that, we can go flying with Simmie and find more crimes!" Taylor announced. That seemed to perk the Ward up a bit.[Affirmative!] The Simurgh added. [Will Fly with Host-Queen_Administrator and Host-Environmental_Warper!]"That sounds like fun?" Vista said.

* * *

Vista was not having fun.In fact, this was the opposite of fun."Then what?" Armsmaster asked.She was locked in a ten by ten room, only a table and two chairs to accompany her. Across from her sat her nominal leader, Armsmaster, in a reinforced chair that supported his armoured frame.She had been in M/S rooms like these before; that wasn't too bad. She had never been drilled for six hours straight in one before, though."And then," she said for the hundredth time, "Queen Administrator asked the Simurgh for the location of another crime in progress."Armsmaster looked off into the distance for a moment. "That was the... seventeenth mugging, correct?" he asked.She shrugged. "I lost count after the first dozen. They just kind of-" She paused, looking for a way to say what she wanted without sounding whiny. "They just kind of blurred together."The Protectorate hero made a noise that really didn't mean anything. "This was just before you took a... break, yes?""Yeah," she said. "I think so. We stopped for ice cream. Which I had to pay for because she had no money. Then we stopped by a hardware store.""Why?"Vista resisted the urge to sigh, she really did. One escaped anyway. "I was out of zip-ties.""I see," he said in a monotone that made her want to rip her hair out. "For clarification, could you start from the beginning one more time?"Vista's head hit the table.

* * *