Deadtired

"I recall the pillars being somewhat more pale," Alex said. "These could have been quarried from there, Papa."

I nodded along. "So, artists and quarried stone. Gold leaf and the employment of a few masons for the carving and setting. A lot of effort and money have gone into this palace," I said. There was a carved mural between the next set of archways, a scene depicting the Mantis Queen atop a mountainous pillar from which light rays emanate, below her, rice fields and fantastical cities spread out under her watchful gaze.

"It's that Jade Emperor guy's fault," Rem said.

I turned her way with an inquisitive "Oh?"

She nodded. "He sends cultivators here all the time. Sometimes to fight with us, but often to give the Mantis Queen 'priceless gifts'." she made little air quotes with her scythes.

"I see," I said. "Well, we'll learn more about that presently, I suspect.

The corridor opened into a large cathedral-like room. Half of it was lined in white marble, with statues and paintings adorning the walls, but near the centre of the room the carefully tailored, rather gaudy decor gave way to natural stones and bare rock. It was all swept and clean, and yet no less natural.

At the far end of the cavern stood a row of mantises, six in all, and next to them, in a little group that was trying very hard not to appear as though they were a single group, were some humans. Cultivators, of course. I had yet to meet another kind of person who adored overly embroidered and decorated robes as much as cultivators, and these had enough layered silk on them to clothe an army.

"Move aside, move aside," a hissing voice ordered from the very back of the room. "I wish to lay my own eyes upon this interloper."

The mantises scuttled aside, and the cultivators swept themselves away with some grace. Behind them was a throne.

The throne was rough-hewn stone, cut into the form of a grand chair. Golden coins, small potion bottles, and heaps of artefacts that hummed with discordant magical energies were piled up against the foot of the throne with no rhyme or reason to their placement.

One cultivator from the group remained at the throne's arm, an older gentleman with a carefully trimmed beard and shut eyes.

I looked at him for just a moment before focusing on the Mantis Queen herself.

She was tiny.

The Mantis Queen, ruler of the Flaming Steppes, the horror that brought fear to so many, the mother of countless mantis warriors who roamed the land and ate anything that moved, was no larger than my foot.

"I am aware that judging one based on their appearances is somewhat uncouth," I began. "But I expected you to be larger."

The Mantis Queen sniffed haughtily, then cast a glance at the cultivator by her side. He cleared his throat. "Enemy of the divine Queen of all that crawls and chitters, Lady of Blade and Sinew, and Misstressover the Flaming Steppes, enemy of the Empire of Man, the Godly Queen, Mother-of-Many-Eggs, demands to know why you have presented yourself before her without gift, present, or kneeling supplication."

I considered the question, then gestured to my companions to step back as I walked to the front of the group. Surprisingly, Cinder walked up and stood one step behind me. Alex doing the same on my other side with folded hands was less surprising.

"Hello, my name is Harold," I said while sketching the barest hint of a bow.

There was a gasp from amongst the cultivators, and a shifting of robes.

"I didn't bring a present or gift, and I'm afraid that my knees are a little old for kneeling."

The Mantis Queen hissed.

The human at her side cleared his throat, then leaned down. He whispered something into her antennae, then straightened. His eyes opened slightly, and he stared down his nose at me. "Her ladyship," he announced, his voice loud and ringing in the otherwise rather silent hall, "would like to know the reason why she should not kill you for such insolence."

I chuckled. I could feel a wellspring of power from the Mantis Queen, she was no slouch, and was definitely one of the strongest people I'd yet to meet since I woke up. More powerful even than the god and goddesses I'd met on the Path to Heaven. However strong she was, she didn't quite match up. "Could she?" I asked.

"Pardon?" the man asked. I supposed he was technically her herald. I refrained from pointing out the irony.

"I asked if she could. Kill me for my insolence, that is."

The Mantis Queen puffed up, then stabbed both of her scythes into the little pillow she was perched upon. "I could! I could kill you!" she squeaked.

I shrugged. "You might try. In any case, I came here explicitly to remove you as a threat to the region, though I've always been amenable to negotiations. Never let it be said that I don't give people a chance to talk their way out of a bad situation."

"No talking!" the Mantis Queen snapped. "You, kill that undead, and bring me his companions to eat! My daughters as well." She stabbed into her cushion a few more times, downy fluff flying. "I will eat their heads to teach them a lesson about talking with the enemy!"

I sighed, this was not going as I had hoped, but it was going about as well as I expected it to.

There was a rattle, a hiss, and the sudden pressure of several spells and attacks being readied as the cultivators prepared some early techniques. Across from them, the Mantis Queen's more obedient daughters grinned mantid grins and sharpened their scythes.

This was going to end in a fight, one way or another.

It was quite unfortunate for all those involved that I was here with the intent of winning any such battle.

"So be it," I said.

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Chapter Twenty-Eight — Conjuration Conundrum

Chapter Twenty-Eight — Conjuration Conundrum

I had, of course, been in a number of fights in my day.

Gaining the knowledge I'd accrued was not a task so easily done, nor was it something done without meeting any opposition. So, I had to learn to handle myself in combat.

Of course, I have no great love of violence. It is a tool in my pocket, yes, and it is a multifaceted tool with many uses and possible applications.

For example, the threat of violence can sometimes be enough to solve an issue. Your adversary being aware that you are capable of violence at all is a fantastic way to ensure that the more timid, civil-minded, or conscientious of foes will consider other means of resolution first and be more willing to approach the negotiating table at all.

In any case, while I was capable of violence, and while I had used it frequently and to great effect in the past, it was never my go-to answer to most situations. I much preferred discussion, negotiation, and rationality to aggravated and physical means of solving a conflict.

Still, if push came to shove, I could fight.

The Mantis Queen screeched, then rent her claws down from above her tiny form. They glowed, and with the downwards motion came a brilliant scything light that cut out towards us.

I had but a moment to decide what to do. A fraction of a second. So I took that time to ponder my next moves.

First, I had to consider the wider situation. This wasn't merely a fight between myself and a lesser godling. I had Alex by my side, and while the maid was quite strong comparatively, I wouldn't expect Alex to win in a straight fight against the Mantis Queen. There was a clear difference in levels here that couldn't be overlooked so easily.

Then the others. Cinder was a capable fighter as well, I had no doubt, but she was weaker than Alex. The mantis sisters would get swept up in a fight against their mother as well, and the two dwarves currently cowering by the back would do no better.

Second, I had to take into account what the Mantis Queen herself had. I could sense a decent amount of power from the queen herself, but there were some strong artefacts at the foot of her throne.

Then her retinue had to be considered. Some two dozen cultivators, and a dozen more mantises. It was probably safe to assume that the latter would be as strong as Rem or Mem, at least.

Finally, the last consideration was how I intended to get through this fight.

Did I want to play it safe and unleash my full might? No, there was a dwarven kingdom in this mountain range whose alliance I wanted to secure. Did I want to tie a hand behind my back and only use a certain kind of spell work?

Actually, yes, it had been a while since I'd done that!

I watched the shimmering wave of the Mantis Queen's attack come closer as I juggled the potential. Some types of magic were right out. There was no way I'd defeat her with Divination, and while Illusion was still on the table, it would put the others at risk.

Evocation was too easy. Necromancy was... well, no point in calling it a handicap if I was using my ace. Conjuration?

Oh, that might be fun!

Conjuration was a great way to summon up some fun! Oh-hoho!

I decided to open by stopping the Queen's attack. "I Wish you hadn't done that," I said. She couldn't tell that there'd been some clever wordplay there as the attack simply vanished as though it never was, because it hadn't been.

The Mantis Queen recoiled. "Kill the demon!" she hissed.

"Now now, before all of your friends here get Entangled in something they can't handle, why don't we have a civil conversation?" I asked. The ground broke, and the cultivators and mantises both reacted as twisting vines ripped from the floor and grew to cover well over half of the throne room, only the area with my allies was spared.

"For the Jade Throne!" a cultivator screamed as he raced towards us brandishing a glowing sword.

He choked and fell onto his face into the vines a moment later, a few small needles poking into his skin.

"This is bad bad," Cinder said as she eyed the others.

Weighing her strength against theirs and... yes, this was a rather bad position for her. A few of those cultivators were at the same level or higher, and there was a lot to say about the action economy when outnumbered ten to one.

"Yes, this is a bit of a Stink isn't it?" I asked. I was particularly smug as a cloud of noxious fumes spread across the entire back end of the room, then expanded. A slight force of will kept it from my living allies. The rest were not so lucky.

Two of the younger cultivators retched at the odour, then tripped into the entangling vines on the ground. The Mantis Queen herself reeled back, then spat to the side. Her force of will pushed against the stinking cloud as she beat her wings and created a powerful gust of air. "You die now! Stinking undead demon!"

"If you're going to call me a demon, then perhaps I should conjure up some real fiends for you to compare," I said. The air hissed as slits opened up between us. Heat poured from within, burning some of the entangling vines back as large, red-skinned demons walked into our plane. They growled, then roared before charging across the space.

One of them was tackled to the side by a mantis who started to stab and chop into the demon only to be smashed aside by a second's fist.

An all-out brawl opened up, though it was terribly one-sided. I hadn't conjured particularly powerful beings, just cannon fodder to keep everyone distracted.

An opening remained, a corridor of space between myself and the Mantis Queen.

She hissed, then leapt off of her throne to stand before it. The loss in height made her far less impressive than she'd been already. Her herald stepped up next to her, trying to look officious and pompous despite the lingering stench and combating demons.

The battle took shape around us. Alex was guarding our dwarven guests, Rem and Mem found themselves fighting against equals, and Cinder weaved and ducked while flicking out poisoned darts and expelling gases from the tanks she carried on her back.

"I don't think your allies have Grasped the situation," I said to the Mantis Queen.

Large vines as wide as tree-trunks, tore out of the far wall, then raced out to grab some of the slower cultivators. I didn't want to see Cinder overwhelmed, though I wouldn't step in and coddle her. This would be a fantastic learning experience as long as she wasn't overwhelmed.

"We know of you," the Mantis Queen said. "We remember the stories. Told to us long ago, by people scared of you, scared of what you'd done, scared of where you'd gone. Then we found power. Your power, our power. We grew strong. Very strong. Made many sons and daughters, allowing them to grow strong too. Made a kingdom for us. Feasted on man and dwarf, mage and cultivator."

"You grew strong on my font," I said.

The Mantis Queen shrugged, a gesture I might have missed had I not spent time with Rem and Mem.

The Mantis Queen's mandibles clicked and clacked together in something approaching a laugh. "We drank from your power, old one, ancient god killer, and we've become gods, like you!"

"I'm afraid that we are not quite as similar as you might think," I said. "Don't think yourself invulnerable with your stolen might. You're not quite a god yet. You strike me as more of an aberration than a deity. I'm impressed that the Jade Throne has suffered your alliance for so long."

The cultivator next to her stiffened. His reaction didn't go unnoticed by the Mantis Queen. There was a flicker of doubt there. "You will not beat me, and nor will the Jade Throne. The Emperor might be strong, but he knows I'm strong too," she said with a hiss.

I shrugged languidly. "Perhaps. But strength isn't just about raw power. It's about Calling on allies and Plaguing enemies, as well as-"

The Mantis Queen hissed. "You are casting even now!" she screeched as an insectile plague started to hum into being and infernal beings leapt from the shadows. "Tricks! Tricks is all you are!"

"Now now, wordplay isn't just about trickery, it's about having fun and teaching valuable lessons!"

* * *

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Chapter Twenty-Nine — Kai Wen’s Very Not Good Afternoon

Chapter Twenty-Nine — Kai Wen's Very Not Good Afternoon

His name was Kai Wen, and he had never felt the way he felt now.

No, that wasn't quite true. Once. He had felt this way once.

It was during the start of his tenure as a member of the Sect of the Jade Throne. Not to be confused with the emperor's own sect, or the Jade Throne Sect, or the Guardians of the Jade Throne Sect. The Sect of the Jade Throne worshipped the emperor. They were his second greatest fans-a title that rankled and irritated the sect elders.

As a newly inducted Outer Disciple of the sect, he'd made the mistake of asking why they were only the second greatest admirers of the emperor and not the first.