After running through the "Normandy", I made sure that all the work was going on as usual, and the reasonable ones were settled in their cabins. Rex had given up the cabin and was now comfortably ensconced in some kind of utility room located between the hold and the arsenal. Does he want to live there? Let him live. His right. The butler didn't really resist either, just moved the boxes to another warehouse. I must say, Rex helped to free up his new living space and carried boxes along with the butler.

* * *

By ship's time, night had fallen, but for me, this crazy day was still not ending. Just think ... the first day at the Citadel, and already so many events. It's been a very busy day. At least I managed to take a nap on a bench in the Council Tower. I thought for a moment that Garrus had been running around the Citadel with me for the same twenty-four hours, and nothing happened. Kind of pretty bouncy yet. And that's it for me. It is necessary to stop the constant attempts of the body to cut off the leakage of energy and block the recharge.

Sprawled on a chair in the dining room, I pushed the whitish pasta around my plate with a spoon and couldn't bring myself to eat it. I was terribly hungry, but it's impossible to eat! I pushed the plate away from me and dropped my head on my crossed arms. There's simply no time to refit the dining room now, but as soon as we get back to the Citadel, I'll set up a proper kitchen and hire a cook. I don't think the Special Corps will refuse to pay for food.

There will be at least another six hours of work on the ship. The renovation of the infirmary has just begun: technicians literally half an hour ago took out the cladding panels and opened all the stuffing. And we were very surprised to find a wiretap there. I'd be surprised too if I didn't know.... They promised to get everything out. Both in the infirmary and in Dr. Chakwas' cabin, which is adjacent to it. But they warned that then they would have to work all night. When we get back, we'll have to sort out the whole ship.

I wonder if Udina will scream when she finds out that the "experimental and secret stealth frigate of the Alliance" is being gutted like a dead fish by Special Corps equipment? Probably, it will be. And the demons are with him, let him scream. At least there'll be a reason to eat my brain.

A chair creaked as it was pushed back, and the table shook slightly.

"Imrir, what are you doing?"

Oh, Darg has come. What does he want from me?

"I'm a little tired." I raised my head and frowned at my fighter. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

The captain's burden is heavy, isn't it? He chuckled. "Don't worry about it. You've been running around the ship for hours.

"It's necessary."

"I know what I need. Go get some sleep."

"The cabin is occupied." I said, frowning.

"And the old one?"

"And that's where Ashley was settled. At least I got the butler to move Tali out separately."

Derg laughed softly.

"Yes, it would be a scary neighborhood."

"Don't talk nonsense. Who would settle a Quarian teenager who had just left the Migrant Fleet with an aggressive xenophobe?"

"What's the big deal about this little thing?"

I sighed, scratched my head, blinked sleepily, and explained:

"Tali is a brilliant engineer who has not even begun to reach her potential yet. And we are flying on an experimental trough, which can easily fall apart in the run between relays. The fucking prototype!" I shook my head. "I hope you don't have any questions about Rex and Garrus."

"What kind of questions? A C-SEC officer and a Master of War. I'm actually surprised that Rex decided to ask for your company. By the way, who is the Saren he was talking about?"

"Saren Arterius. A living legend of the Special Corps. One of the best living Spectr's Council. A Turian, about forty-four years old, if I'm not mistaken. Smart, absolutely ruthless, practical, always achieves his goals. Very cruel. He hates humanity and the Alliance. He failed the first candidate for the Spectr from the Alliance. Initiated the Geth attack on Eden Prime. He is also Nihlus's mentor.

"A colorful personality." I appreciated the brief description of the Derg.

"Very. And they sent me after him."

"Behind him or behind his head?"

"And this will be decided by Nihlus. And I."

"I can hear the "but" in your words. Did you find out something?"

"Did you find out? No. I have certain guesses and doubts about Saren and his motives, but this is not the right place and time to share them."

"Is it important?"

"This is very important."

"Go to sleep. Anyway, Kraik is either sleeping or reading. Tomorrow you'll be nothing at all. I've been on my feet for over a day now."

I didn't argue, it was pointless. Sometimes Darg has a mother hen instinct. This time, I was his victim. And at such moments, arguing with him or appealing to the voice of reason is useless.

Chapter 13.3 the conversation with Naylus.

Nihlus was really awake, reading something from the datapad. As soon as the door closed behind me, my mentor... turned on the jammer.

"Something happened?"

A jolt of pain shot through his temples. The migraine was developing, threatening to plunge me into a semi-conscious state soon. The seventh layer of the aura was unfolding, and along with it, mentalism and the empath's gift-curse were activated. In a good way, I need to sleep a lot and soundly in a completely dark and noise-insulated room right now, and I'm running around the ship like I've been shot, swimming in a pile of negativity. Hello, regular sensitive shock!

"It's easier to say what didn't happen." Wearily, I sank onto the second bunk, holding my head in my hands.

"When will the work in the infirmary be completed?"

"Why the rush?"

"We need to fly to Terum for Dr. Liara T'Soni, the daughter of the matriarch of Benesia. I don't want to find her dead in a power bubble in the Prothean ruins."

"Is it possible?"

"Quite."

Nihlus has postponed the datapad.

"Do you want to talk?"

"I want your advice. And I guess you want answers to your questions."

Nihlus closed his eyes in agreement.

"I would like to clarify some points."

"The sacramental question `Who are you?', yes?" I grinned at him.

"Not quite. I'm more interested in your motives and plans for the future. What are you going to do?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"You'll be surprised, but I'm really going to do the work of the Spectr honestly and just live in this reality, since I was thrown here."

I was silent for a moment, staring straight ahead. Fatigue was creeping in. I wanted to eat and sleep. My head hurt: the migraine was getting worse. A couple more hours, and I'll just be knocked out so that the seventh layer can unfold. Mentalism is activated, and the unfolding of the eighth, penultimate layer will begin. When the aura unfolds to the ninth layer, I will have a qualitative leap, and I will enter into full force. And before that... before that, we'll have to spin around somehow.

"You have a lot of knowledge."

"A lot."

"You could have achieved a lot. And get a lot."

"But why?" I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the cot with my feet. "Nihlus, what's the point if you leave everything material behind after death, and only the soul will go to rebirth, as always?"

"None."

"Nothing." I nodded in agreement. "What is wealth and power? These are just tools that can be used to solve problems, nothing more, but not an end in itself."

"Then what's the goal for you?"

"Knowledge. Skills. Memory. Something that you can take with you to the next world." I met his gaze. "More is the memory."

"Do you die and be reborn in a new world, preserving your memory?"

"Yes."

"All of it?"

"All of it."

A short silence and a calm verdict:

"I'm sorry."

"It's not worth it." I forced a smile. "I've already gotten used to it."

"Is it possible to get used to it?" The green eyes narrowed slightly.

"No." I shrugged my shoulders. "What should I do? Forcibly purge your mind, blocking everything that clings to your soul? And then what's left? A wild desire to remember everything, and when the memory comes back..." I shook my head. "Turn off emotions? May. But... one, two, well, three rebirths, and you realize the futility of existence. Emotions somehow make you move on, no matter what."

"Have you checked?"

"I've experienced personality breakdown twice, Nihlus. The first one was triggered by emotions. The second is their absence. Nothing pleasant, believe me. Especially when you become aware of yourself again and realize that the collapse was launched consciously and according to all the rules. Memory, knowledge and skills, everything was preserved, and what concerned the personality was erased so that no mentalist could restore it. I really don't know my name. I just don't have it.

Nihlus closed his eyes and relaxed on the bed, waiting for an attack of acute pain.

But his voice, when he decided to continue the conversation again, was still calm and serene:

"You said you took the name Imrir."

"I already consider this name my own."

"why?"

"I don't know. Something touched me deep down. It gave a response. It's hard to say. Is it that important?"

Nihlus didn't say anything, just shook his head. He lay there and stared at me intently, saying nothing. It was like he was learning anew.

I felt a kind of apathy and fatigue. If I can't find someone I can trust, someone I can call friends, what's the point of trying to break through the wall of alienation? We'll see how the situation develops before my full initiation, and then I'll make a final decision. If there are those for whom it is worth saving this Cycle, I will save it. If not... Well, no, not really. I know where to look for the Lord.

My head was slowly turning leaden. I nodded off.

"Are you all right?" There's concern in the low voice.

"A sensitive shock. The mentalist's abilities are activated, and the mind cannot cope with the information it receives."

"Then go to sleep."

"The recharge will be interrupted."

"Sleep. We are on the Citadel. When should I wake up?"

"Do not wake up, even if Udina boards the "Norm"! If I twitch or grumble something, don't pay attention."

I still managed to hear a quiet, vibrating laugh as my consciousness slowly faded. The sounds disappeared completely, and I sank into oblivion. I was dreaming about some nonsense. In the blessed darkness, little fat Reapers flew around me and offered to go with them, luring me with cookies. Chocolate, my favorite. Then Udina would appear and shout, "This is outrageous!" and run after the plump but very frisky Reapers, who flew away from him, paddling their paws comically. Someone was watching me with interest, but I still didn't understand who. The Reapers cornered Udina and pelted her with cookies, and then they came back to me and started offering me goodies.

The bastards. I'm hungry.

Chapter 14: Household Chores

The awakening of mentalism occurred at night during a deep sleep: the psychedelic images of Udine chasing fat and nimble Reapers shouting "This is outrageous!", winking at me with red eyes and blue lights on the body and vying to offer something delicious, were replaced by awareness of the reality surrounding me. I automatically scanned the space, noted intelligent beings busy working or sleeping nearby, read emotions without bothering to understand them, just passing through my mind as background noise that did not require attention. My mind was working on the verge of drowsiness: I was making primary adjustments to my own perception in order not to go crazy from other people's underlying desires. I don't want to feel it, much less know it!

Many people naively believe that having the gift of a mentalist is great. This is not entirely true. Mentalism, like any gift, has a downside that is not so easy to deal with. It is dangerous primarily for its owner. For me. Now that the gift has been activated, it is working at full capacity, but the body's resources are still not enough. Until the aura fully unfolds and a qualitative restructuring of the body takes place.

The initial adjustment of mentalism was completed, and after it, empathy began to work with full force. I was overwhelmed by other people's emotions. Powerful, multifaceted, diverse, generated by dozens of intelligent beings. I hastily reduced the sensitivity, narrowing the coverage area to a couple of meters and began to put an emotional block — the first line of defense. I feel better.

The intensity of emotions subsided, my mind floated out of slumber, and I was able to identify the feelings of the sentient ones nearby: Nihlus was fast asleep and barely noticeably filled with confused emotions generated by dreams, Darg and Dylan were a couple of meters away behind the wall, in the cafeteria, angry and hungry. His stomach croaked piteously, reminding him that he wouldn't mind getting something inside himself. Someone else's hunger only increased my own. So... and who is this who is very close to flaring up with embarrassment, confusion and fatigue? And he wants to eat, too.

I opened my eyes a crack. Garrus, in black armor, stood at the door, looking at the sleeping Nihlus and then at me in confusion. It took a while for my sleepy brain to realize that Vakarian had nothing to do in my cabin. Yawning, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. If he's here, then something must have happened. He showed up for a reason. He's too polite and considerate to just barge into someone else's cabin.

"Garrus. What happened?"

"Nothing." The Turian blinked guiltily.

The overwhelming fatigue weighed heavily on his heightened senses, drowning out even hunger. Why is Garrus in such a state? Didn't he get some rest?

"Have you been awake yet?"

"no."

"why?"

"Nowhere."

An extremely honest answer. It did not even occur to him to lie or somehow brighten up the truth.

So. Moment. What do you mean, "nowhere"?

"I ordered the butler to settle everyone!"

Garrus hesitated, but answered:

"He settled it. In Nihlus cabin."

"And?" I did not bring up the essence of the problem.

"It's locked and sealed."

I closed my eyes. Pakti! You bastard! No, theoretically, he did the right thing by settling Garrus with a kinsman, but you have to have brains! The middle of the night, a sealed cabin... perfect!

"And you've been... all this time?"

"I was sitting in the dining room." Garrus answered honestly.

Anger made my vision go dark. It's just am-az-ing! Instead of resting, Garrus stayed in the cafeteria all night because of this jerk. He didn't wake me up.: He let me rest and recover.