Ravensdagger_Kittypunk_Cyberpunk_Kitrpg

Kittypunk Christmas Special

Kittypunk Christmas Special "Hmm," I said.Sharp sighed."Maybe... but no."I felt Sharp's grip shift ever so slightly so that she was holding me on her other arm. She shook the arm I'd been resting on out. Had it fallen asleep? I suppose that was possible, I'd been resting on her arm for a solid hour or so."I don't get why this is taking so long," Sharp said."That's because you don't understand the target. You can't just approach them with anything and expect it to work. Not everything works on every target. When possible, pick something tailored to the job, otherwise you might just be wasting time and effort for nothing.""But... we're just buying cat toys," Sharp said.We were currently standing in the middle of a long row of toys in one of the city's larger pet stores. This one was opened the day before Christmas, because... well, why shouldn't it be? It wasn't like it had that many human employees.There was an entire alley dedicated to cat toys and accessories. Feather wands, catnip mice, spring toys, balls with little bells in them, even plushies and crinkle balls.A selection of thousands, and so far I'd only picked out two items.The first was a tiny plush snowman, with a little hat on. It had the enticing scent of catnip and was very soft. The inside had one of those little chemical pads that warmed up when squeezed. Dangerous for dogs, but fine with cats.Obviously, that was going to be Arsenic's gift. The silly baby boy was the cuddly sort, but not when around others so much. This was exactly the kind of thing he'd love.For Cyanide, I'd gotten a plush new bed. Hers was getting a little ratty, and I think she'd like this new one. It was very soft, and came with a matching blanket.There was nothing cuter on this green Earth than a snoozy kitty wearing a blanket.Mercury was tougher to shop for. My shy baby wasn't as vocal about the kinds of toys he liked. He liked playing on his own, but Arsenic would just steal anything too... interactive."Maybe..." I muttered."What about that?" Sharp said, pointing to an interactive puzzle feeder."Oh... you know, that might work. Good job, Sharp," I said.Yes, he'd like that, I thought. It was a food-dispenser that required that a clever kitty fiddle with paddles and moving blocks a little. Arsenic would give it a try, but he'd grow bored with it, and Cyanide wouldn't touch someone else's toy. Mercury would have fun solving this one, even if it took him a long time."It's perfect," I said."Cool. So, that leaves Belladonna, right?" Sharp asked."Oh, yes. I know what she'd want, but I'm not getting that," I said."What would she want?" Sharp asked.I snorted, then nodded my head to the far end of the petshop where there was a wall of bird cages. "Something alive... at least before she gets to it. But we're not unleashing mice and birds in the house.""There's some toys that look like mice and stuff," Sharp said."Yeah, I've tried those. I think the lack of... life in them insults Belladonna. She smacks them around a little then leaves them behind.""Ah, well... that's annoying," Sharp said. "She's tough to buy gifts for, then?""Tell me about it," I said with a shake of my head. "Maybe something practical? A new collar, maybe? I think she really liked the one I bought for her a few years ago. It had spikes. Eventually it was worn out and I had to toss it, but I think she liked it? I can at least ask now, which is nice."The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.We did find something nice, a collar with star-shaped spikes around it. They weren't quite sharp, but they were rather pretty. And it was pink!Sharp and I went to the cash registers and paid for what we bought, then it was off to a gift store where each item was packaged up into itty-bitty boxes. My kitties liked ripping into those, and it was very cute to see them go ham on wrapping paper.Once that was done, it was back home!We took an auto taxi, and while on the ride, I directed Sharp to a site where we could order already-cooked meals to be delivered at home. We ordered the smallest Christmas feast option, which was half a turkey and cranberry sauce and a few other seasonal things. It was pricey, but that was okay. The leftovers would last a while!When we arrived at him and stepped out of the auto-taxi, I immediately noticed that there was a small package by the front door. It was a brown envelope, left by the front step by a no doubt careless delivery person."What's that?" Sharp asked.I peaked down from her shoulder and read the text on the front.Ah.Well, it was too late to hide it now."It's your Christmas present," I said.Sharp blinked, her grip on the package tightening as she tilted it to examine the front more closely. "What?""It's your Christmas present," I said again, my voice perfectly even, though my tail flicked nervously behind me. This might have been a mistake. It was... a little presumptuous, but... well, it was a legal loophole that needed closing. It was just the sensible thing to do.Sharp didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at the envelope. Her silence stretched, the city sounds around us muted by the snow blanketing the street. I let out a small sigh, shifting on her shoulder."It's not a big deal," I said, ears twitching. "I just thought... well, you're already part of the family anyway. This just makes it... official."Sharp finally tore the seal open with her thumb, pulling out the papers inside. Her eyes scanned the text quickly—of course she was a fast reader—then froze on the bolded words at the top: Adoption Certificate.Her mouth opened slightly, then shut again. Her eyes darted back to mine. "Caroline... you..."I shrugged. "Like I said, not a big deal. Now let's get inside. I don't want to sit around in the cold."Sharp didn't move. Instead, she held the papers in one hand and reached up with the other to gently lift me off her shoulder, cradling me in both arms as she studied my face. There was something strange in her expression, something sharp but soft at the edges. Then she blinked rapidly, her lower lip wobbled, and she started to cry, though silently."Thank you," she said, her voice quieter than usual, like she was trying to keep it steady. "You didn't have to—""Yeah, yeah," I cut in, looking away. "Just don't get sappy on me, okay? It's Christmas. Let's go feed the cats."Stupid child. It was just the logical and legally expedient thing to do.The cold was playing games with my sinuses too. I didn't know cats could cry.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Four — Stake Out

Chapter Forty-Four — Stake Out Sharp and I walked back and forth across the front of the warehouse twice.Twice was as far as I would allow. There was an old adage about once being an event and twice a coincidence, and generally speaking that was true. People noticed if something happened twice, but it took three times for them to start suspecting a pattern.If you offed someone that was part of an organization and you were talented enough to make it seem like an accident or illness, then the others that were around them would weep and cry and get on with their lives. The second death under similarly strange circumstances? Well, bad luck happened and people died. The third, and suddenly security would be increased, people would be taking shelter, and caution would be at an all-time high.The same rule of three applied to staking a place out.Anyone could walk past any building for any reason. It wasn't strange. People had to get places, and sometimes they had to get back from the place using the same route.Walking by a third time, however... "It raises suspicions," I explained. "And even if you have a perfectly valid alibi, you never want to get to the point where that alibi has to be tested.""Why not?" Sharp asked."Because, no matter how good your alibi, the moment someone starts looking for something wrong, they'll find it. It's why, when you start learning how to drive, you will never drive in an erratic fashion, with a vehicle that's not obviously road-secure, and in a fashion that draws attention."Sharp hummed, then she took a sip from her hot chocolate. We were stationed at a fast food place two blocks down from the warehouse we'd been staking out. Sharp needed a small break to eat, and so did I. I was still chewing on a bit of croissant that she'd cut off for me. We were sitting outside. It was a little chilly, but not that bad, and the porch was empty at this time of day."So, I can't look again?" she asked."Not today," I confirmed. "Not without risking raising suspicions. So, you're going to have to operate with what you know.""I don't think I know much," Sharp said.I hummed. I'd started her on observation training a while ago, but we hadn't kept it up too much. Still... "Tell me what you do know. We walked past twice, the second time quite slowly. I saw you scan the place, you must have noticed something."Sharp nodded. "Right! Okay, so I saw three guys at the front, and two more on the side, sitting by a car.""What kind of guys, armaments, gang tags? The car, what sort was it?"Sharp swallowed, but then she narrowed her eyes and thought about it. "The guys didn't all have gang stuff, I don't think. Most of them were in jeans and hoodies and sweatpants. Casual clothes, I guess. One of them had a tanktop even if it's chilly out, and he had tattoos on his arms. Uh, they looked like scales?""Good, go on.""I saw a few handguns. Usually in the, uh, bands of their pants. Nothing bigger than that, I don't think... wait, no, there was a shotgun up against a wall.""Well noted. And their disposition?""Their what?" she asked."Did they seem stressed, on guard?""Oh no. I guess not? They looked a little bored? I think they were all on their phones. The ones in the car, at least. The three out front were either on their phones or just chatting? I think there were lots of cans around them on the ground. The garbage bin near them looked full."I nodded. "The car?""Uh, a hatchback... I think that's what they're called? It looks old. Like, its been broken and fixed a few times? Some of the parts aren't the same colour.""Good work. Now, putting all of that together, what kind of conclusion can you reach?"Sharp leaned back and thought about it for a few long seconds. "I guess that they've been there for a while. They're not there for fun, it's probably boring. So it's a job of some sort. I don't know if they're part of a gang or not, but it feels like they might be, but if they are, they're probably not important."Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.I felt a little proud at that moment. She'd reached some good, logical conclusions there. "Well done," I said. "Now, a few things you missed that are worth mentioning. There's a build up of cigarette butts in the area. That's always a good sign that people are loitering. There are also several boxes and things moved around to make for seating. People naturally want to sit when waiting around for a long time. The car is modded, but it is older, you're right there. The guns are mostly low-calibre things. Probably printed. The shotgun is older, however, a break-action. It's not the kind of equipment you'd see on professionals. You also missed that one of them had an alligator on the back of his coat.""An alligator?" Sharp asked."Or a crocodile? I'm genuinely not sure what the difference is.""Oh! The other had scale tattoos!" she said. "So they are in a gang?""Possibly. Look it up.""On my phone?" Sharp asked."No, in the phone book," I said with a flat voice. Sharp just gave me a confused look, and I realzied that she might not know what a phone book even was. "Just look it up. Try the name of this town and describe the symbol. There are usually forums and such where people warn about small gangs.""Right, okay," Sharp said as she pulled out her phone and got to doing just that. I moved up next to her so that I could see her navigate the web. It was painful. She was a peck-typer and I groaned as she clicked on several sponsored ads instead of clicking on actual posts. She had no idea how the real net worked and it showed. She wasn't entire tech-illiterate, just... inexperienced.Eventually, however, she found a social media page dedicated to the northern end of Boston Two, and there were several posts complaining about youngsters in crocodile clothes causing trouble.They reportedly broke a few knees, got into some fights with some of the larger gangs in the region-and got their asses handed to them-and sold some lighter drugs off of street corners until someone noticed them and they'd run off."Looks like they're a smaller gang?" Sharp asked. "Maybe this is a front though? Like, a big gang setting up a little one to start taking turf and then it'll undermine whichever gang is actually in this area?""Or we follow Occam's Razor, and this is just a bunch of jumped-up street kids that made a little gang for themselves. If they're selling drugs then they need to store them.""You think that's what's in the warehouse?" Sharp asked."It's more likely than babies or whatever it was you jumped to," I said. "And if that's the case, then it'll make things pretty easy. We just need to torch the building without being noticed.""Uh-huh," Sharp said. "So, uh, how do we do that?""Did you notice any cameras?" I asked.Sharp blinked. "Now that you mention it, no?"I sniffed. "There were some. But we can handle those. First... we need a few tools, and you need to get changed." I glanced down at her phone again. It was approaching mid-afternoon. This time of year... we probably had another two or three hours of good sunlight. "Let's get going. We'll buy what we need, then you get to participate in one of the time-honoured traditions of the Edgerunner sort."Sharp perked up a little at that. "What tradition?" she asked.I grinned as only a cat can. "Waiting around while nothing happens," I said.She pouted, but we did get up and got moving. First to a hardware store, where we bought a few essentials while trying not to look suspicious, then back to where Sharp had stored her clothes. I had her prep for the rest of the mission right there, because what we were making for this next part was a little... messy.It was the first time I had Sharp make something for a mission, and I figured that if anything, it might maybe help her level up a skill or two, especially once things went off in a satisfactory way."Ah... we forgot to buy lighters," I muttered.There was always something.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Five — Dangerous

Chapter Forty-Five — Dangerous "Uh, this feels dangerous," Sharp said as she looked upon the labour of our work.We had to pick up a few essentials and bring them back into the gas station's washroom. Fortunately, the stench around the place kept most people at bay, and this was one of those automated gas stations with no real workers. The drone at the counter was either AI or-more likely-remotely controlled by a person in a third-world-country for pennies on the hour.They didn't have any shits to give about what we got up to in the washroom.We had six bottles on the counter. They were picked out of the trash, so no two really matched, but that was fine. Next to those were a small container of kerosene, a now-empty plastic tank for diesel, and a chopped up mess of styrofoam. There was also an opened pack of tampons and the last pair of socks from a pack of eight pairs we'd gotten for cheap. The final part was a set of magnesium road flares. And tape, of course.Always bring duct tape. That and a small can of sprayable lubricant. There was always some need for it on the job."Of course this is dangerous," I said. "But the worst part is done. I don't think there's any harm in tossing most of this in the trash. No one will likely check. Leave the gas canister outside and someone will abscond with it as well.""Alrighty," Sharp said. She grabbed the bottles and gingerly inserted them into her duffle bag. We had some scraps of cloth to spare, so she wrapped them around the middle of each bottle so that they wouldn't clink and bang into each other. We didn't want them spilling, after all. "So, what's the plan now?""Let's see how much light we have to work with, but it's very possible that the next part of the plan will involve a lot of waiting."And I was right, obviously.Sharp and I left the gas station, only pausing once to rearrange the bottles so that they'd stop clinking with every step. The noise was unusual enough to grab attention, and that was the last thing we wanted.We headed for the warehouse, but didn't just walk up to it. Instead, I had Sharp take a detour into a field, then I hopped off her shoulder and led her through some taller grass and across an old culvert until we came up behind the warehouse itself."We should be safe here," I said. We were a dozen metres from the rear fence of the warehouse. There was not much here, just a dip in the terrain and an old ditch that stank of chemicals and stagnant water. Greenery was pushing through old cement pads and the only other buildings in this area were all rather dilapidated warehouses and yards.Some were in better shape. This wasn't a dead town or anything, there were trucks coming and going at all hours, and a highway ran by about two hundred yards back, but this certainly wasn't a lively spot.I imagined that the only people that crossed the space we were in were vagrants and perhaps some strays. There was certainly a faint stink of piss in the air."Okay," Sharp said before I hissed at her."Quiet," I snapped. "We're not so far from the target that we couldn't be overheard.""Right, sorry," Sharp said in a low whisper. "So, now what?""Now we need to find a way in. There's a fence in the way though. I think the sensible thing would be to let me pass. I'll scout ahead and warn you if there's someone coming. One meow means hide, or something like that."It wasn't entirely fair to help her this much, but... well, this was her first gig. A bit of hand-holding couldn't hurt.Sharp nodded, and we carefully made our way over to the fence. It was a little taller than she was, but not so much that Sharp couldn't hold me up in her hands close to the upper end. I considered the fall. It was... pretty high up. Taller than I'd ever fallen before, even, but I was pretty sure I could make the landing."Drop me," I said.Sharp tossed me up a little, and I just barely went over the edge of the fence. I thought I'd have time to react before hitting the ground, but I fell so quickly that it was all I could do to splay my legs out. Then I hit the ground and sort of just... sprung there."Huh.""Are you okay?" Sharp whispered.I shifted, testing things. "I'm fine," I said. "Get the wire cutters out, I'll scout ahead.""Got it," she replied before reaching back and under a bush. A moment later she returned with a brand new set of bolt cutters. She fiddled with them before locking the cutting end against some of the wires near the bottom.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.I nodded, then took off towards the warehouse. Slowly, keeping to the shadows, I made my way around until I was closer to the front. One of the guards was at the car, leaning against it and talking to another inside it. The other door was open, and the guy in the passenger seat was on his phone.The others I couldn't see, but I did pick up a bit of music, probably belted out of a phone without a good speaker. They were talking.I looked back and gave Sharp a nod.There was a fairly loud 'clink' as Sharp managed to snap through one of the links in the fence. The guards didn't even care to look up. "Keep it up," I said, keeping my voice down even if it wasn't necessary.There was another clink, then another, each one spaced some thirty seconds or so apart. I would have congratulated Sharp on taking her time, which was objectively the right thing to do, but I think it was only taking so long because the bolt cutters were manual and Sharp very much wasn't.Eventually our good luck came to an end, though. One of the guards muttered a 'did you hear that?' to his friend just seconds before Sharp snapped through another link in the fence.I heard him standing up, and the faint crunch of boots on gravel.I winced, then did my part."Meow," I said. "Mrroww," I added while I sauntered forwards towards the goons.The man coming over paused before reaching the corner and looked down at me. "Oh, it's a kitten," he said. "Pspspsps.""Meow." I said."C'mon, kitty kitty," he replied before crouching down. This was a full-grown man, lean and muscular, with reptilian tattoos running down his uncovered arms. He made kissy noises.I blinked slowly at him, and replied with another, "Meow.""Just a stray," another said."Nah, look at him, he's got a little coat," the goon said. "Pspsps," he added.I glared at him, then sat down well out of reach. The man smiled and turned towards his friend. "Hey, gimme a bit of your sandwich," he said."What? Mah man, my ma made these.""You're not eating the crust, are you?""The fuck you take me for, a kid? Yeah I'm eating the crust.""C'mon, it's for the cat.""We're not gonna feed the strays. You're gonna end up with a dozen of them.""Yeah, and why's that bad?"I rolled my eyes, then realized that such a human expression was probably not smart. "Keep going, Sharp," I said. They were too embroiled in their argument to care.I made a point of running past the goons, then lingering nearby, always well out of reach. I didn't want them grabbing me, after all. They didn't pay any attention to the occasional clink from where Sharp was waiting, not when they could instead argue with each other.Eventually I ran around the lot, going the long way around until I returned to where Sharp was waiting. She smiled at me, and carefully pushed the hole she'd made in the fence open for me to get in. "Good work," I said."Thanks," she whispered. "I got a bush to hide the hole too."She had unrooted a small bush from nearby. It made some rustling noise as she moved it, but it was a decent way to hide the cut in the fence, and I doubted those goons had memorized the location of every bush out back."Decent thinking. Let's get the next part going, then."Sharp nodded, then reached over for her bag. I had to swat her hand to stop her from trying to push it through. Instead, we placed the bottles on the other side and then I helped Sharp squeeze past.If I trusted her ability to throw things, then we wouldn't need to do this so carefully... but I didn't.In any case, it took a solid twenty minutes of skulking around to place the cocktails we'd mixed up across the lot. Then, with the hole in the fence held open by a stick, Sharp flicked on a lighter and started to light the fuses.The rags, soaked in kerosene a while ago but still damp, lit up the night.Then the road flares caught, and soon there were a few loud cracks as the bottles burst open and spilled oil and diesel all over.We were some ways away when the guards noticed, and by the time they'd come around to see what was burning, a few of our fires had started to spread."I think that should count as a successful mission," I said.

* * *