Deadtired - страница 4

It wasn't a magicless world, but it was near it.

Nearby was a woman in a long leather coat with a metal device in her hands, a long tube with a small telescope above it. Behind her was another fellow, and elf of all things, and behind that...

"What an interesting device," I muttered. "Some sort of magical engine... simple pistons and rotors... very precise engineering. Though it seems to have weathered some rough times."

"Hello nice lady," Mem said. "Can Mem hug your friend the big metal man?"

"What in the name of all the gods are you?" the woman asked.

Alex, ever valiant, stepped up to answer, and paused when the woman levelled her obvious weapon at him. "We had a little mishap with some portal magic. We should be out of your hair in a moment."

"Oh god, it's hot here," the limpet complained.

I supposed it was a little on the warmer side. I flicked my hands to the side, casting an area cooling charm that lowered the temperature noticeably. The weapon swung my way. "What was that?"

"Magic, obviously," I said. "I don't think we'll be staying here for very long."

"Where are you from?" the elf asked. "An undead... I haven't heard of the undead since... ever. You're a legend, from before the great war."

A great war? Ah, that could explain the temperature. There was definitely something magical about the way this desert was formed.

"So, Mem can't hug the metal man?" Mem asked.

"No you can't, stupid."

The portal flickered, and once again we were moved.

This time we were deposited in the front of a classroom. A nice enough room, with rows of chairs-currently filled-and a nice blackboard at the back. A place of learning! I had always enjoyed those.

Mem looked around, spotted the students-mostly young women-and waved. "Mem says hi!" she said.

"C-class three threat!" someone yelled.

The young men and women all stood up and... started dancing?

I was confused until powerful magics wrapped around them, like spiked chains, gripping onto their souls and minds and twisting. Then they loosened and the young folk were suddenly dressed in flamboyant outfits, often with weapons.

"Quick!" one of them shouted.

I sighed and cast a mass sleeping spell over the room.

The portal flickered, and once again we were moved.

This time we were deposited in the front of a classroom. A nice enough room, with rows of chairs-currently filled-and a nice blackboard at the back. A place of learning! I had always enjoyed those.

Mem looked around, spotted the students-mostly young women-and waved. "Mem says hi!" she said.

"C-class three threat!" someone yelled.

The young men and women all stood up and... started dancing?

I was confused until powerful magics wrapped around th-

I shuddered. This had all happened before. Time manipulation magic? Was someone playing some silly games with the fabric of the universe here?

I spotted the likely culprit, a redheaded young woman, surrounded by three others that I presumed were her friends. The little clocks and suchlike on her dress were a rather obvious giveaway.

My hands moved, and I flung a sleeping spell at her. No point in killing someone merely trying to learn.

The portal flickered, and once again we were moved.

This time we were deposited in the front of a classroom. A nice enough room, with rows of chairs-currently filled-and a nice blackboard at the back. A place of learning! I had always enjoyed those...

Had I the ability to, I would have frowned.

"Mem says hi!" Mem said.

"C-class three threat!" someone yelled.

I knew where this was going. This time I snapped out a rapid series of spells, two of them hitting the little time manipulator and confusing her before knocking her out, the other spells washing across the room and setting the other students to sleep.

"Did Mem do something?" Mem asked.

"No, nothing of note," I said.

This time, when the portal grabbed at me, I made sure it moved us elsewhere.

We appeared in a quaint little garden. Flowering bushes all around, a wrought-iron table nearby with fresh tea waiting upon it, and three girls sitting around it. The air was filled with birdsong and the happy buzz of lively bees.

It was a magic-rich world, though that magic was under a tight leash.

The young woman at the table, the two who were about the limpet's own age, merely blinked at us for a moment before looking down at the third among them.

I locked on her and froze.

"Dreamer," one of the girls asked with impeccable calm. "Did you summon these people here? You should have waited until after tea."

The one they called Dreamer looked at us.

I felt a shiver running down my bones.

This was no child.

Certainly, there was a form at that table, a construct made to look like a child with curly hair and inquisitive eyes, all bundled up in a lacy dress and bare feet, but that was no child.

I started pushing more magic into the portal spell. A lot more.

"No," the Dreamer said. She looked at us, then her tongue darted out between her lips.

I felt it. The hunger.

That. Was. No. Child.

I pushed and poked at the portal, willing it to go faster.

"We're sorry for the interruption," Alex said. The butler did not sense the horror, the all-consuming hunger, that he was speaking to. He did not see the tentacles crawling in the shadows, slipping in the nearby bushes, the mana-tentacles already reaching out with questing limbs to see what our portal was made of.

He did not see the pretendtacles, there and not, the metatentacles, currently looking at you, the reader, with confusion and curiosity, or the myriad of other tentacle and tentacle-like abominations waiting to be unleashed.

The portal started to activate.

"Wait," the Dreamer said.

The portal shuddered to a halt.

Magic wasn't meant to do that.

I gave her a skeletal grin. "Yes?" I asked while my magic whipped out and tried to fix the damage.

"What're you doing here?" she asked.

I replied with honesty. "We were heading out to eat something, when our portal encountered a small issue. It should be bringing us to our destination soon. We truly are sorry for the inconvenience."

"Oh," the Dreamer said. She looked at all of our heads. "No hats," she muttered. "Abigail do you want them?"

"Um, no?" the girl next to the Dreamer said.

"Can I eat them?" she asked.

My bones started to rattle.

"Mem would rather not be eaten!" Mem volunteered.

"I don't think that would be very nice?" the Abigail girl said.

The Dreamer shrugged. "Whatever then."

A space-and-timetacle grabbed and flung us away.

We crashed into an alleyway.

I took a moment to just rest there.

The others, happily oblivious to just how close they'd come to being the snack of... some creature that I couldn't yet describe, all bounced to their feet and glanced around. "This place stinks!" Rem said.

I sighed and rose to my own feet just in time to hear Mem gasp.

"Hello little children! Mem is Mem!"

I looked to the side and found that we weren't alone in the alley. There was a group of young women... why was it always young women?

At their head was a girl with bear-ears atop her head. She was frowning at us, hands on hips and eyes narrowed. Behind her was a child in a leather coat with a large pair of spectacles on. She was attempting to... use some sort of Fear effect on me. Interesting, and easily dismissable.

Behind them, and somehow connected to them via an interesting quirk of soul magic, was a plain, very nervous looking young woman, and all around her, three girls who were also the same girl.

That was interesting. One soul split amongst three identical bodies. I'd never seen anything like that before.

"Hello," Alex said. "Forgive us, we are a little bit lost at the moment."

"Actually," I said. "We've arrived where we're meant to be."

The bear girl huffed. "Who are you people? You got any idea who we are?"

"No, I don't particularly care, either," I said. A glance out the end of the alley revealed our final destination just across the street. La Maison de la Poutine. A shady little establishment that sold the thing I had been craving some minutes ago. I wasn't so tempted now, but I was here already. "Come along, everyone, let's get a snack for the road."

"Um," the oldest girl in the group said. "I think, uh... yeah, okay, just... fine. Let's go home girls, I don't think we should mess with that group."

"Aww, but sis, I can take them!"

"They are pretty suspicious," the one casting Fear said.

"Let's tail them!" one of the triplets called.

"Mem doesn't mind making new friends!" Mem replied.

The bear girl huffed and started walking after their group. "Never met a bug person before. So, are bugs disgusting evil capitalists?"

"Mem's never capitaled anything."

"Oh? Then you'll love hearing about this thing. It's called Communism, and it's great."

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