This Is How It Goes

"What, oh, what is our heroine going to do?" Skinner said quietly. He was grinning in expectation, staring at Buffy through the cage bars.

Buffy walked over to the office door, gazing down at Angel's form on the floor. She took a deep breath and strode in, kneeling down next to him. She heard the scrape of a chair as Skinner attempted to reposition himself through throwing his weight, trying to see inside the office.

"Angel," she said loudly.

Angel's eyes opened and focused blearily on her. She grasped his shoulders, feeling the sweat and feverish heat of his skin, and pulled him up a little.

"You need to sit up, okay?" she said. He groaned, struggling to support himself. His shoulders and forearms were trembling as he pushed himself up. She helped move him over to the office wall, leaning him against it. Angel's face was contorted with pain and the effort of moving.

"What — what is it?" he gritted out.

"Angel, I want you to listen to me," she said slowly, her voice steady. "There is a cure. I'm going to save you, but you have to do what I tell you to." He looked at her, brow furrowed in confusion. Buffy put her hands behind her head, pulling her hair to one side, and pushed down one of the straps of her tank top, baring her neck. "You have to drink," she said, enunciating every word.

He stared at her uncomprehendingly. "Drink me," Buffy repeated, turning her head so that her neck was vulnerable to him.

Angel's eyes went wide, his mouth opening slightly. He stared at her in abject horror, shaking his head violently. "No, no, no," he said, his eyes huge and bright in the paleness of his face. "I can't. I won't."

"You don't have a choice," Buffy said vehemently. "This is the only way."

Angel jerked his head again, scrambling up. He pushed himself up from the ground, his entire body shaking. He stumbled out of the door, hands grabbing any stable object to support him. He staggered out to the table, leaning on it and gasping. Buffy followed him, putting hands on his back.

"We don't have time for this, Angel," she said heatedly.

"You can't ask me to do this," he grated out.

"I'm not asking," Buffy snapped. She hauled him up, holding his arms. "I'm not letting you die."

"It would kill you."

"I trust you to stop," she said quietly.

"No." His voice broke but his eyes were hard and unyielding. They were filled with a determined resolution. "I won't."

Buffy's face tightened. She clenched her jaw and let loose with a hard right hook. Angel's head snapped back with the force of it. He looked back at her, lost and uncertain. His eyes were having trouble focusing.

Buffy cocked her fist back for another punch and her wrist was suddenly stopped. She whipped her head around instinctively and froze.

"Faith," she breathed, staring at the other Slayer. Her body, still shaking from a combination of fear, adrenaline, and anger, was subjected to another shock at Faith's sudden appearance. Buffy's stomach performed a complex dance, her heart pounding. Faith's face was still ragged and drawn, hard lines and tightness, but her eyes were incongruously bright.

"Don't, B," Faith said quietly, not releasing Buffy's wrist.

"God, this is better than ER," Skinner mumbled happily in the background.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked, wary suspicion eclipsing shock. She heard Angel panting behind her.

"Giles called me. He was afraid you were going to do something monumentally stupid." Faith slid her attention to Angel briefly. "Guess he was right."

Buffy wrenched her arm out of Faith's grasp. "No, this is the only way." She met the other girl's fixed gaze. "He's going to die if I don't."

"I'm not letting you do this," Faith said quietly, intensely.

"This isn't your decision!" Buffy said angrily, her voice suddenly filling the entire library, echoing. "Just — just back off."

"Don't you see, Buffy?" Faith snarled, stepping up into her face, her eyes glinting and sharp. "This is why they shot him! So that you'd pull this martyr shit and be out of the fight!"

"I don't care!" Buffy shouted back, shaking her head violently and trying to ignore the way her eyes were burning with tears. "I'm doing this and nothing you say will stop me."

"I know," Faith said quietly, and abruptly leaned in and kissed her. It was quick, gentle, just a brief mingling of breath, but Buffy melted into it, her brain shutting down completely. She almost forgot where they were, her muscles going slack with the feel of Faith's lips on her again.

Faith pulled back and Buffy stared dazedly at her, blinking. She barely had time to inhale or wonder why Faith had just done that before the brunette's fist smashed into her cheek, throwing her back.

Buffy stumbled against the table, feeling a delayed surge of furious confusion. She snapped her head up and Faith hit her again. She was thrown to the ground, her head spinning, feeling blood welling from a cut on her lip. Faith stood over her, her face taut and pained, her eyes flashing with cold decisiveness.

Buffy tasted metal on her tongue, felt bile rising in her stomach and throat. She began to push herself off the floor and Faith kicked her in the face. Buffy collapsed limply to the ground, abruptly propelled into that liminal state between awake and unconscious. She could vaguely feel Faith drag her across the floor, could distantly acknowledge the cold tile moving beneath her stomach. Her mind felt like it was moving through some thick, viscous substance, sensations reaching her belatedly and dimly. She heard a sharp clinking noise, her body understanding the noise before her mind did as she felt an inexplicable, hot rush of fear. By some massive force of effort, Buffy opened her eyes, forcing her mind to rise to consciousness.

Everything was shifting in front of her. Her vision encompassing some white crisscrossing pane, she heard Faith saying something and then the sickening thump of fist hitting flesh. She lifted her head off the ground, feeling it throbbing with pain. Her sight cleared slightly and her eyes focused on the cage in front of her, on two figures outside of it. She couldn't see Faith's face, but she could hear her incensed shouting.

"Come on, you bastard!" Faith was yelling.

Buffy saw Angel swaying, his face slack, his eyes vacant and wavering, looking like he was drifting in and out of awareness. Faith cocked her fist back and hit him brutally, almost sending him crashing to the ground. Buffy, her neck shaking with the force of holding up her head, saw Angel put out a hand automatically to stop his fall, and then swiftly push up. He snapped up and Buffy opened her mouth in a weak gasp. His brow was ridged, his eyes yellow and hungry, a growl ripping its way out of his throat.

"That's right, baby," Faith said quietly. "Let's see that pretty face."

"No," Buffy croaked almost silently. God, why didn't she see it before? Angel needed the blood of a Slayer; didn't matter which one. Why hadn't she fought back, done more? This was her job, not Faith's. Buffy pushed herself up, her arms trembling, her head feeling like it was about to fall off from the pain. "No," Buffy said again, louder. She stood up on shaking legs, hands clinging blindly to the cage. "Faith," she said hoarsely. "Faith, please. You don't have to do this."

Faith ignored her.

"Outta your hands, Slayer," a voice said directly next to her. Buffy turned her head to see Skinner, leaning forward as far as he could in his restraints, watching intently. He was smiling a sinister, violent grin. "Just sit back and let your girl be a hero."

Buffy grit her teeth and turned back. She saw Faith peel off her own jacket, dropping it to the floor. She could imagine what Faith looked like right now, her face hard and rigid with determination, preparing herself for what came next. Buffy saw Faith's hand shoot out, grasping the back of Angel's neck and pulling him roughly to her, pressing his face into the dip between her neck and shoulder.

"No!" Buffy yelled, fear seizing her in a strangling grip. She gripped the cage bars so hard her knuckles were white. "Faith!"

There was a moment where Angel's head simply rested on Faith's shoulder, where Buffy thought that, maybe, he would stop himself. But then his eyes widened, his head shifted slightly and there was a horrifying plunging sound as his fangs pierced skin. She heard Faith gasp as Angel began feeding in earnest, his arms snaking around Faith, his hands gripping her so tightly Buffy could see his fingers digging in. There was a sickening gurgling noise as he drank from her, her body tightening in his grasp, her hand falling listlessly from his head.

Buffy felt an unbearable sensation of helplessness, watching the two people she loved destroy themselves. Faith following some idiotic sense of self-sacrificing, self-loathing nobility, Angel losing himself completely to his predatory instincts. Buffy understood Angel. He was feverish, delirious, unable to separate reality from his subconscious and too weak to subdue the demon inside. She knew him — knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was unable to stop in time. She almost understood Faith too, but she couldn't forgive her. If she ... Buffy banged her hand against the cage door in overwhelming frustration.

Faith's body slowly grew limp as Angel drank, swaying backwards, and they fell together suddenly, crashing onto the ground. Buffy recoiled at the sound of Faith's head hitting the tiles, at the way Angel buried his teeth in her deeper, sucking at her neck frenziedly.

"Angel! Stop!" Buffy shouted desperately.

He didn't even acknowledge her, couldn't in the face of his urgency. Buffy saw Faith's entire body slump against the floor, her head rolling to the side.

"No! Stop!" she yelled frantically.

He kept drinking.

Chapter 33: Preparation, Preparation, Preparation

Author's Notes: So, I was pretty much overwhelmed by the amount of positive feedback I got from the last chapter. Overwhelmed in a good way. Thanks so much to everyone who let me know what they thought. Reviews like that make my day. And now, let us continue.

Buffy, feeling a surge of terrified determination accompanying a twisting desire to vomit, backed up in front of the cage door and kicked out as hard as she possibly could. A jolt of pain went up her entire leg and the door shuddered, but didn't open.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled loudly, and leaned back, raising her knee and kicking out again. The entire cage wall shook, but the door still held. "Angel!" she bellowed.

She kicked out once more and the door flew open, banging into the cage with a huge clanking noise. The noise finally jolted Angel out of his bloodlust. He withdrew his fangs from Faith's neck, pushing himself up, staring down at her limp form with a horrified comprehension. He rolled off of her and touched a hand to his mouth, fingers coming away red.

Buffy sprinted over to Faith, falling to her knees and taking her face in her hands. She turned Faith's head towards her, seeing the other girl's face terrifyingly slack and pallid, her neck rolling flaccidly.

"Faith, baby," she said, her voice jagged and hoarse. "Come on, wake up."

She put a hand to Faith's throat, trying to staunch the blood still flowing. Relief poured through her, so powerful she almost cried, as she felt a quick, faint throb underneath her palm.

"She has a pulse," Buffy said, strength returning to her voice, as she turned to look at Angel.

He stood, his cheeks red and flushed with new vigor, and strode rapidly over, kneeling down. "Go call an ambulance," he said quickly. He took Faith in his arms, pushing her inert body so that she was sitting up. Leaning her against his chest, he ripped a swath out her shirt and pressed it to her neck.

Buffy ran to the telephone, dialing 911. A voice answered and she swiftly relayed the information, her heart slamming against her rib cage, her hands shaking. She replaced the phone in its cradle as the conversation ended, staring at it for a moment, trying to center herself and stop her mind from conjuring images of Faith's lifeless, sallow face. She turned around to see Angel looking at her, his eyes full of deep self-revulsion and guilt.

"I — I'm so sorry, Buffy," he whispered. The piece of clothing pressed to Faith's neck was already soaked and red.

Buffy shook her head, closing her eyes. "No," she said unevenly. "This — this isn't your fault. It was her choice."

She walked over and sat next to them, feeling a peculiar twist in her heart at seeing her two lovers wrapped in such an intimate, vulnerable position. There was a soaring yearning in her chest, an urgent anxiety in her stomach. It couldn't end like this, she thought. Not after everything they'd been through, everything they had survived. She put out a trembling hand to caress Faith's cheek, softly tracing the lines on her face. She's going to get through this, she thought. And when she does, I'm going to kick her ass ... and then hug her and never let her go.

Buffy sat there for what felt like hours, alternating between searching Faith's face for signs of consciousness and looking at Angel. And then, finally, the distant blare of a siren reached her ears and she exchanged a quick, relieved glance with Angel. He scooped Faith up in his arms in one fluid, effortless movement and they ran out the library doors, Angel cradling Faith's head protectively.

"Hey! Can I be untied now?" Skinner bellowed after them.

They ignored him and ran out into the high school hallways, the paramedics meeting them with a stretcher in front of the main doors. Angel placed Faith on the rolling stretcher and looked at Buffy.

"You go. I'll call the others and follow," he said quietly, and Buffy grasped his hand, giving him a tight smile that looked more like a grimace, before following the paramedics and Faith out into the ambulance.

~ — ~ — ~

Buffy sat on the chair next to Faith's hospital bed, holding her limp hand. There was an IV in her other hand, a machine beeping softly beside her. She looked so small, so weak and exposed. That energy Buffy loved about Faith, that bright, fiery vitality seemed like it had never even existed. She was so diminished, a fading image of what she used to be, sinking into inert banality. Everything felt wrong in here. Nothing was the way it was supposed to be. Buffy was almost numb with the sheer amount of thoughts and emotions careening through her body. She couldn't stop them, couldn't stop to sort them out.

"Buffy?" a voice asked tentatively, and Buffy was jolted out of her contemplations. She raised her head to see Giles and Willow standing just outside of the door.

She reluctantly let go of Faith's hand and stood up, her legs shaking. Willow and Giles stepped forward and Buffy met them, Willow immediately wrapping her arms around her. Buffy returned the hug, sighing and relishing the warm comfort. They withdrew and Giles put a hand on her shoulder, gripping it gently and smiling at her.