Father convicted and gave a very long time, and I didn't even know what for. In court, he expressed his last wish — to see his son. Came to visit our home and gave him his request. Mother, quite drunk, first started screaming and then went into hysterics at the threshold, although I was forced nobody was going to lead, and then went into the bedroom, with one of them for a long time appeared to him from there. I guessed what they were doing there. When the man came out of the bedroom, he said at the door: "Well, he's not going anywhere. I'll find something to say to your husband". Behind him came out of the doors of my mother, wrapping a Terry robe, which had seen a naked body. She was leaning on the door frame, looking at nothing extinct.
Leaving, the man said already on the staircase to his friend: "Well, bitch. I never saw!" comrade smiled with understanding of the issue, and I felt so disgusting in my soul, so disgusting that this state is still remembered with a heavy disgust.
We lived in a really poor. My buddies were a machine, in a sense, is not among them, of course, themselves, and their parents. As for us in the house except the old, barely live TV, Yes, the old player no wealth was not, so I grew up with a heavy sense of inferiority and secret, secret to terrible, desire to get rich.
A decade in which I was destined to be born, it was noted turbulent events. It ввспоминали as time лихолетия as unreal чертовщину, as a mockery of our way of life and an attempt on the foundations of our society, in General, not evil there. But I was young and did not understand. I have not delved into the Affairs of adults, but the father said that this was an attempt to restore the freedom, which failed.
Father often long was not home. The mother was well, but for some reason I missed him and was waiting when he returns. Whenever he appeared on the doorstep, with pleasure I rushed to him and hugged him for tired legs. He gently stroked my head and said only one thing: "Hello, darling!"
I, smiling, pressed his knees, and doorstep and pulled him to the cubes, soldiers, cars and other boyish fun. Advancing happy hours. And not washed, road dust, hungry dad sat with me and played with toys. Eventually I fell asleep he had at hand, and he included me in my cot and put to sleep. And then waking up at night, I saw. How to include a table lamp, he writes, leaning over the Desk.
Parents моичасто quarreled, like many. Mom probably did not want to understand it. She wanted to live quietly to himself. So, there were many around, because it was more convenient, but with time and safer. She is trying its best to such a life, find the right friends, adapted as I could. Father, when he found out about her chores, leaving yourself. In such moments he first was silent, gradually becoming crimson, надуваясь, and then everything worked volley lecturing. In this state he could call my mother not only "мещанкой", "slave to money", but words and stronger. Mother, after listening to it charges quickly урезонивала husband:
"You, roll you eat, and you know how it is, this sausage? You go buy it in the store! In the store, tea, never was choking her. Yes, and there only varenku give and go, dry or get smoked! Выложишь half of his poor pay for the one ring. Yes if it wasn't for my friend, Irina Antonovna of obkom спецбуфета, shish what would you saw good. You think you're two and a half hundreds of home, and the king? Figs with two. You go on these money to buy anything! We no pants were sitting would be if you went shopping, Yes to the Bazaar! Only because of my acquaintances to make both ends meet. I still only talking about food. And if the Pro threads, Sidi, in General, not заикайся! One only your Kostya half your pay is...
After such repulse father, usually, grew quiet and no longer argue. In fact, we barely make ends meet only because of my mother's пронырливости, or as it is called differently, its ability to live. Many of our friends were not up to the next payday, and говели week or two. They had no acquaintances in спецбуфетах.
True, and her features were more than modest. Any she'd occupying such a convenient place was not averse to use their knowledge of greater benefit than supply some annoying, annoying and even нагловатой woman who works as a typist in a run-down office, from which there is no benefit either in General, or in particular. Mother prevailed only in his бессовествной annoying. Only her ability to bother people play on the remains of their confused in life debacles of conscience helped her in such cases.
Father could not make profitable Dating, and not like this. On the contrary, he thought it was a low, vile, unworthy of his case. In short , he was a man of impractical and even harmful for the normal family life in the concept of others.
Whatever he did, whatever he wrote, what he not only worked, strongly criticized. He tried to complain about my mother's life, but never met her the slightest sympathy. "The виновват", — she answered generally.
The work of the father, indeed, to this day, the dark spot, side of the moon for me, sometimes turned into a real tragedy for our family and inflicted damage to our existence.
I remember Mama "broke" warrant for the apartment. We have a very long huddled in a dirty corner, a rented one old woman, who lived in a damaged house, and paid her for it is "fun" a lot of money, much бившие on our way, and without тощему afford. But no sooner had we even понхать that is called new, so long awaited dwellings, QC order our revoked. As later explained that the mother did it, "because of the Pope", who once tried to expose the apartment machinations urban elite, but except "cap" for this thing got nothing. There were many other, smaller, but no less offensive times when I have had to suffer for his father, and I don't even know why.
Father and myself were hit, and not once. For homeowners case he tried several times to bring to criminal responsibility as a slanderer, who tried to discredit the party-state apparatus, assailed his purity and непогрешность, and only the repentance to which he was forced, public, принародное humiliation, saved him from prison. Then it seems to be broken. After that he has passed, lost weight, become pale green, sick, went depressed and sad, but quietly still continued to write something.
He was careful, behaved silently meek, and, seemingly, had to forget. But the pressure did not cease, and all we constantly чувствовли themselves by some alien elements in our society. Mother, soon decided to separate from this sad iceberg and went through, about which I have already referred. And the father continued to slowly rot alive. He always ran into troubles at work, although he tried to honestly perform their duties. There were accidents and other kinds, which seemed at first glance to be random and doesn't depend.
One day, shortly before the New year, he ran in the city on a group of youngsters, which all of a sudden suddenly stuck on him. They beat him so badly he as much as two weeks I spent six weeks in a hospital bed, not rising. After that, he fell ill and soul, and body.
However, the father was very stubborn and not willing to listen to his mother to leave their донкихотские ways and to live like everyone else, not высовываясь. She assured that then and life for us to enjoy, and we live as humans. He answered her with a sad irony sad smile: "Nothing, then you don't understand my joy". The words "my joy" were obtained from him as a particularly sad. She, too, smiled sadly and replied, "I've understand, Yes just to live no more strength. I can't stand it!" at that time in her bedroom was not yet men.
My father continued to do his job, and my mother lived, trying to somehow, something to outwit fate, to win her рублик another. Father told her: "you must Understand, if we all like you, the country never get out of poverty, sucking it like quagmire". And she retorted: "if we are just, Kaak you, you'll die of hunger simply, that's all!"
Father better than many others understood how sad, hopeless and неприкаянна our lives, not only of our family, but of all, the majority living in this country. Understood and that if live honestly, that feed is not something that the family itself is impossible. But, apparently, he could not renounce his or her conscience and honour, never went on a dirty deal. Moreover, he had struggled with this.
He was clever. He was a courageous man, because, as he said, during the last ten years and his eyes were born, fought and died of his ideals, dreams and hopes, but he still continued to fight almost in solitude, do not panic until the very end, before he went to jail, put him in the end, behind bars. He struggled, but this fight was really like a battle LFPR Quixote with the mills or the battle with the shadows of the past: the time has come more.
At that time, when his father was around, I was too young and dumb and not interested in his life. Now, after a time, when the return nothing seemed impossible, I understood that this was, if not a great, great man.
They say: "He was a man of his time," or "he was a harbinger of future changes". My father say one way or another it would be wrong, though both the first and second corresponded to the truth. He announced his time, lived in it, but the saddest thing is survived him, but as I learned much later.
The little that remained of the fleeting decade, which has fit my childhood: the little achievements, documents, sources of information, which allowed to judge about the events of those years as I am, more real, but most importantly there are very few people living witnesses of what happened then, although it was quite recently, but the haze of the reaction of those who could tell the truth, cracked down on them, rotted them alive or hid behind bars, сшельмовав charges. They say that that was true once, that was always and everywhere, but especially in this country. My father too rigid. Because they could not and would not be silent.
Once, very long ago. We were going to campaign dad's friends. Meetings were rare. On them often something remembered, blamed on what light is a reaction одержавшую precedence over the interests of the people and the country, dreamed would come someday best of times, and the truth will return to this earth. My mother was dissatisfied with such собраниямии. She didn't like the talk out among such gatherings, and for purely practical reasons, guests badly beaten by семйному budget that it does ever sought to correct. She barely наскребала dinner at three to four extra man, and after these visits, we have two-three days live without anything to eat.
Maybe that's why my mother had such an amazing figure, slim and slender, like a girl's. And the men paid her no attention views, more than decent seeing on the streets of her legs.
Times, our, indeed, were not easy. To buy something nice from service, we had to save money and доволбно long time limit himself in everything. Daddy said when I was born, living was easier than now.
Overseas things — it was unattainable luxury for many people, except those who could go to the shop with the "black" stroke or had big money for the purchase of the "black" market, where prices were fabulously unavailable. Only evil people, Yes sons of big bosses lived without troubles and difficulties.
I recall in the class with me studied Oleg zhul'kov, whose father was the head of the regional supply base. That's the one, Yes. Always dressed immaculately, had a Japanese квазивидеосистему, which cost a fortune, and many other expensive things and toys. About myself all envied him, everyone wanted to be friends with him, to seek his location. In class, he was the king, and all the girls went dry it and were willing to allow him to enjoy oneself, if only he crooked a finger, and even bragged about it to each other. Even the teachers talked with him whined and reverently, and Oleg gets out of round honors and прмерных students, although it was the first lazy and прожженым bully знаемом not only among their peers, but older children.
Only one of the teachers rebelled against Жулькова and his Almighty father. It was a young, almost a boy still, the teacher of physics. He only came to our school after graduation. Seeing what is happening in the school flagrant outrage and injustice, he entered into an unequal battle. Exactly a year lasted this undeclared war. Physicist mercilessly scribbling in the journal opposite the name of the boy-majeure deuces, and zhul'kov Sol his hand, holding the reins and turning the opinion of the class voluntarily where he liked, ополчил rebel against not only the class, but also the teaching staff школы.через year war ended, the teacher had to пкеревестись to another school, and zhul'kov stayed and graduated with a gold medal.
Still embarrassed. But I had Жулькова too on occasion. I already knew how much power and position, and money in the world of people.
Chapter 4.
In College, I got a rather strange way. not to say that accidentally, but not in its own way, in any case, if desired.
To become a soldier in my childhood I never dreamed of. Of course, as a boy, I liked form, I played in the war and soldiers, but earnest desire was not. In childhood we do not know what they will become. But for me solved my mother. Reasons to fourteen give me сувороское school, household and personal, she found plenty. She wanted to start a new kind of life, and I in this endeavor her way. So arranged it were me in, as it is called, "paramilitary kindergarten". It is arranged, because the call on another it is impossible. She was through their various high acquaintances. I was not a single pre-qualifying round of the competition and exams, which were arranged for the rest of the town, and then in the field, along with those who passed the difficult test, went to take exams in school, not knowing how many stairs immediately crossed.
By the time father was absent from home for four years. I do not know, came from him letters, but I haven't seen any of them. I missed it, mother at all when I remembered, and gradually in the consciousness of my ingrained idea that the Pope once I had, but now it is not, and probably never will. How could he sit when it comes out, and whether he is alive at all, I didn't know.
The desire of the mother arrangements for me to military school was very great. It is unclear had only wished it good or wanted to throw off such a burden, as I, a grown almost son. Apparently, was and on, and on the other.
Not having enough forces and means, and desires to feed me, shoes, clothes, she found the best for themselves out, препоручив care of me state. Besides, I was guaranteed to further military career, and no trouble about my existence from her since I became суворовцем, and I dressed in black uniforms, she was not. She managed to get me in Suvorov military school, despite the fact that in my past was the great dark spot was convicted of anti-state activities of the father. Don't know what she is worth the effort required. In all probability, very large. But it only once again showed its ability to adapt and make profitable and useful contacts and links. During the four years of absence of the husband she has achieved significant results. Despite the fact that in the city were many хорошеньки women in the bedroom my mother перебывала the city elite. She got a good apartment, she has dreamed of for a long time.
