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He has inherited from you.
It isn't he who's sinful, it is you.
No, no, he may be wise and clever, too.
Is he a match for you? — that is the question.
As someone you grew up together with
A friend of yours, your nearest relation,
I want you to dispel my doubts, please,
So that I take the loss with ease.
I shall take care not to lose my mind,
I'll go away to fall in reverie
And never think of love. Yet I shall find
A way to having fun and making merry.
S o f i a (to herself)
To drive him mad I really did not intend.
( aloud )
Why on earth should I pretend ?
Molchalin could have lost his hand.
I helped him, you should understand,
You were there and you saw it too,
And it did not occur to you,
It was the gesture of a friend.
Though, maybe, you're right to some extent,
For him I may be biased,
Now tell me really,
Why should you talk so freely
Of your contempt for people, and never make disguise ?
You don't show mercy even to the humblest one.
You're always at it. Always joking, always having fun.
No matter who is mentioned during table-talks
Down on his head you hail your biting jokes.
C h a t s k y
My goodness ! Am I really the kind of man
Whose only aim of life is making fun ?
Meeting with funny people is adoring
Though for the most part I find them boring.
S o f i a
No, it does not apply to him.
Molchalin wouldn't really seem
To you so boring, if you knew him well.
C h a t s k y ( with passion )
Why did you get to know him well?
S o f i a
I never tried. It was the wish of God.
Just look how many friends he's got.
He's been in service for three years,
When father loses temper for no reason
Molchalin never takes offence.
He's kind and tries to do the pleasing.
And incidentally,
He could make merry if he wanted to.
Alas, he only does what the old people here do,
He sits playing with them all day long.
C h a t s k y
Playing all day!
He doesn't contradict when they're wrong !
(to his side)
No, she does not respect him, I should say.
S o f i a
One can be prompt and smart but deathly boring,
Another's always swearing and scolding
Just to attract attention, grow the gossip seeds.
Is that the kind of wit a family needs?
C h a t s k y
Is moral and satire the meaning of this all?
(to his side)
She doesn't care for him at all !
S o f i a
With every virtue his character is graced.
He's modest and compliant, though not smart.
He has no signs of worry on his face
And doesn't suffer wrong at heart.
He isn't finding fault with all and everything,
That's why I love him so.
C h a t s k y (to the side)
She doesn't love him. It can be seen.
(aloud)
And I can tell you more
To help you finish up Molchalin's portrait.
And Skalozub? Ah, what a treat!
He loves the army so!
His posture and his manners and the way
He looks and talks make him a hero.
S o f i a
Not of my novel anyway.
C h a t s k y
Not of you novel? It's hard to find you out.
Scene 2
Chatsky, Sofia, Lizzie.
L i z i e (in a whisper)
Alexander Stepanich is about
To come in. He's here to see you.
S o f i a
I'm sorry, I must take to flight.
C h a t s k y
Where to ?
S o f i a
The hair dresser. While the curling irons are hot.
C h a t s k y
So what ?
S o f i a
We are expecting visitors tonight.
C h a t s k y
All right.
My riddle will remain
Unsolved again.
Now let me sneak into your room where . . .
Everything is wonderful the walls, the air,
The memories of bygone years will do me best
They'll buck me up and give me rest.
I shan't stay long there, a minute, maybe two,
And then, just think, in the English Club
I shall spend days just listening to
The gossip about Molchalin, Skalozub . . .
Sofia shrugs her shoulders, departs and locks the door. Lizzie follows her.
Scene 3
Chatsky, Molchalin.
C h a t s k y
Has Sofia really chosen him? She might.
He can be quite a husband though he isn't bright
One doesn't need to be so brilliant
To have a family and children.
He is polite, obliging, has a good complexion . . .
(Enter Molchalin)
Now there he comes on tiptoe silently.
How did he manage to win Sofia's affectation ?
(addressing to him)
Well, Alexey Stepanich, you and me
Didn't have time to have a chat.
How are you? Not too bad ?
No cares ? No troubles now ?
M o l c h a l i n
Just like before.
C h a t s k y
I'm asking "how ?"
M o l c h a l i n
Day in, day out — all the same.
C h a t s k y
From playing cards to writing then to cards again ?
Then waiting for the turns of tides ?
M o l c h a l i n
I do my best, without big words,
Since I've been working in the Archives
I have received three high awards.
C h a t s k y
You're a man of honour and importance ?
M o l c h a l i n
No, everybody has his own gift . . .
C h a t s k y
You, too ?
M o l c h a l i n
Yes, I have two:
Painstakingness and confidence.
C h a t s k y
Two finest gifts. They equal all our gifts combined.
M o l c h a l i n
Have you not been successful ? Haven't you ranks of any kind ?
C h a t s k y
The ranks are given by human beings, -
They make mistakes. I have misgivings.
M o l c h a l i n
We were so surprised !
C h a t s k y
Why should you ?
M o l c h a l i n
We were sorry for you. C h a t s k y You didn't need to.
M o l c h a l i n
Tatyana Yuryevna once mentioned
On her return from Petersburg
That you had some kind of relation
With ministers. It didn't work . . .
C h a t s k y
It's none of her affair.
M o l c h a l i n
Tatyana Yuryevna!
C h a t s k y
We're not acquainted, I don't care.
M o l c h a l i n
Tatyana Yuryevna!
C h a t s k y
That woman I have never seen
I hear she is silly.
M o l c h a l i n
Come on! Is that the one I mean ?
Tatyana Yuryevna's well known! High rank officials, chiefs,
They are all her friends and relatives,
You'd better go and see her one fine day.
C h a t s k y
What do I need it for ?
M o l c h a l i n
You see you may . . .
Get unexpected backing and protection. C h a t s k y
Sometimes I visit women but not with that intention.
M o l c h a l i n
She's so well-mannered, pretty, unpretentious,
She gives most splendid balls on all occasions,
From Christmas to the Easter holidays, and then
She has festivities in her country-house again.
Why don't stay in Moscow, really ?
You'd get awards and live quite merrily.
C h a t s k y
When I'm busy I mean business as a rule,
And when it's time to play I play the fool,
And I do not belong to those
Who're capable of doing both.
M o l c h a l i n
It's not a crime, as far as I can see,
There's Foma Fomich. You know the man ?
C h a t s k y
So what ?
M o l c h a l i n
Under three ministers he was the head of a board,
He's been transferred down here . . .
C h a t s k y
Oh dear !
A stupid man. One of the silliest men I know.
M o l c h a l i n
You don't say so !
He's the model of eloquence !
Have you read his books ?
C h a t s k y
I don't read nonsense.
And model nonsense all the more so.
M o l c h a l i n
No, really. I've read his books and I enjoyed them, too.
I'm no writer . . .
C h a t s k y
No, it's plain to see.
M o l c h a l i n
I'm not brave enough to form my own point of view.
C h a t s k y
Why are you holding back, tell me.
M o l c h a l i n
I am just a young man and . . .
I mustn't have my own judgement.
C h a t s k y
We are no children. Why, should we . . .
Respect other men's views only.
M o l c h a l i n
We must depend on others, you and I.
C h a t s k y
Why should we?
M o l c h a l i n
We are low rank people, that is why.
C h a t s k y (almost aloud)
She loves a man with such a heart!
The liar ! How could she mock at me like that ?
Scene 4
Evening. All doors are wide open except the door leading to Sofia's room. In the background some doors are being opened. The footmen are bustling about. One of them, the head footman, says:
Hey, Filka, Fomka, hurry up, you folk !
Bring tables, brushes, candles, chalk !
(Knocks at Sofia's door)
Elisabeth, please tell the mistress:
Natalia Dmitrivna, her husband, is at the porch.
Now there is another coach.
( All break up. Chatsky is left alone . . . )
Scene 5
Chatsky, Natalia Dmitriyevna, a young lady
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
If I'm not mistaken, this is . . .
Alexandr Andreyich, is it really you ? Oh yes !
C h a t s k y
You're staring at me in such a way.
Can I have changed so much in these three years ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
I thought you were far away.
When did you come ?
C h a t s k y
Today.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
For long ?
C h a t s k y
I don't know, I shall see.
I say, you have changed surprisingly.
You've put on weight. You're such a lovely creature !
You look so fresh and young to-day !
There's a fire, colour, joy in every feature.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
I'm married.
C h a t s k y
You should have said it right away.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
My husband is a gorgeous man. He's coming in.
I'll introduce him to you, if you want.
C h a t s k y
I do.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
There's something you will like about him,
Just look and judge, I don't know what.
C h a t s k y
I do believe you. He's your husband, you are tied.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
No, he's a good man in his own right.
Platon Mikhaylich is so precious! He's my only one.
He is retired. He used to be a military man.
And everybody says, all those who knew him then,
He's one of the most courageous, gifted men,
And had he not resigned
He would become the Moscow commandant.
Scene 6
Chatsky, Natalia Dmitiyevna, Platon Mikhailovich
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Meet Platon Mikhailovich.
C h a t s k y
My stars !
A good old friend of mine! Oh what a chance !
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
Hello, my brother Chatsky !
C h a t s k y
Platon, my dear,
Congratulations on your good behaviour.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
Now, as you see, my friend,
I've ended up in Moscow in the end.
C h a t s k y
Have you forgotten brothers, friends, the camping ballyhoo ?
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
Not really, I have some things to do,
I play a duet on my flute, I love it so.
It's in "la" flat.
C h a t s k y
The same old tune you played five years ago ?
You don't change tastes. It is a good merit.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
You will remember me when you get married,
Out of idleness you'll play the same old melody.
C h a t s k y
Do you give way to idleness, my dear ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
My husband does a lot
Of what they don't do nowadays:
Horse-riding, training . . . sometimes he's bored.
C h a t s k y
Who told you, dear fellow, you should you laze?
Go join a regiment. You'll get a squadron, sir.
Are you a junior or a field officer?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Well, you see, Platon Mikhailovich is not healthy.
C h a t s k y
Do you mean he's fallen ill ? May I know when ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
He has a headache and a backache now and then.
C h a t s k y
Go to the country. Do more exercise,
In summer the country-side is a paradise.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Platon Mikhailovich prefers
The city to a god forsaken place.
C h a t s k y
The city. Moscow . . . You're strange.
Do you recall the past?
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
Yes, but things have changed.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
My dear,
It's cool in here,
You had best
Button your clothes, your suit, your vest.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
I'm not the man I used to be . . .
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Look here,
Darling, you must get buttoned anyway.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h (speaking calmly) Yes. N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Get out of the doorway,
There's a draught there coming from behind.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
I'm not the man I used to be . . .
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Darling, be so kind,
Get out of the doorway. Don't stand near.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
(rolling up his eyes)
Oh, woman !
C h a t s k y
Well, may god judge you, dear.
You're right, you're different from what you were.
It wasn't long ago. Wasn't it last year ?
We were in the regiment. Just at the break of day
You would get on the horse to ride away,
You'd ride around exposed to the autumn wind . . .
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
Yes, brother. Those were the days, indeed!
Scene 7
The same people, count Tugouhovsky and the countess with their six daughters.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a (in a high voice)
Count Pyotr Ilyich! Countess! Good heavens! Countess Zizzie, Mimmie!
(Loud kissing. Then everybody sits down taking an all round view of one another)
1 — s t c o u n t e s s
Oh, what a vogue !
2 — n d c o u n t e s s
The folds, the pleats !
1 — s t c o u n t e s s
The fringes ! Everything matches !
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
No, have a look at my charming satin cloak !
3 — d c o u n t e s s
Look at my scarf, my brother cousin's present !
4 — t h c o u n t e s s
Oh yes !
5 — t h c o u n t e s s
It's lovely, isn't it ?
6 — t h c o u n t e s s
It's a woollen one.
C o u n t e s s
Hush.
Who's that gentleman? He's so pleasant . . .
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
A stranger. Chatsky.
C o u n t e s s
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