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A r-retired man ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Yes, he's been travelling. He's just back home, you see . . .
C o u n t e s s
And he is not mar-r-ried yet, is he ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a He isn't.
C o u n t e s s
Count, come here, be quick !
C o u n t (turns his ear-trumpet to her and groans)
Ohkm !
C o u n t e s s
I ask you to invite
Natalia Dmitriyevna's acquaintance to our party,
Tuesday night.
C o u n t
Ahkm !
( goes up to Chatsky, hangs around him and coughs from time to time)
C o u n t e s s
With children that's the way it is:
They want a ball while father looks for ways
Of finding dancers. They are rare nowadays.
Has he a noble r-rank ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Well, no. C o u n t e s s
Is he well off ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
Well, no.
C o u n t e s s (in a loud voice)
Eh, count, come back ! I call it off !
Scene 8
The same people and countess Khrumins, the granny and her granddaughter.
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n d d a u g h t e r
Oh grandmamma! We've come too early, I think.
We are the first to come.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e v n a
She's abusing us!
She' the first to come ! She thinks that we are nothing !
She's angry. Not yet married. May God forgive the lass.
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n d d a u g h t e r
(she turns her lorgnette to Chatsky)
So you're back, Masseur Chatsky! How are you ?
As you were ?
C h a t s k y
Why should I change ?
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n d d a u g h t e r
Did you get married there ?
C h a t s k y
Whom should I marry ?
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n d d a u g h t e r
If you have hopes . . .
Our people marry there with no procrastination,
They let us enter family relations
With needle-women from nice fashions shops.
C h a t s k y
Poor creatures! Do they have to bear
Reproaches from the girls that imitate modistes
Because they dare to prefer
To see them live than just their lists? Scene 9
The same people and many other guests. Among them Zagoretsky. Men come in, take a bow and walk aside, they walk about the rooms. Sofia comes out of her room. Everybody goes up to meet her.
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n d d a u g h t e r
Eh! bon soir! vous voila! Jamais trop diligente,
Vous nous donner toujours le plaisir de l'attente.
Z a g o r e t s k y (to Sofia)
Have you a ticket for tomorrow's show?
S o f i a
No.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Then let me give you this.
It would have been quite useless
If someone else had tried
To please you, for I searched and I inquired
About it everywhere. I should say
There wasn't any to be had since yesterday.
Nobody had one at the office. I asked
The manager, a friend of mine, — alas !
This morning I was quite a bother
I turned to one, then to another,
Then, finally, I got this one, of course.
I took it from an old sick man by force,
He's a friend of mine, on plays he isn't keen,
So let him sit at home for once.
S o f i a
I'm grateful to you. And my special thanks
For all the trouble you have taken.
(More people come. Meanwhile Zagoretsky goes up to the men).
Z a g o r e t s k y
Platon Mihkaylich. . .
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
Get out of here!
Go to the women. Tell them lies and sneer,
I'll tell the truth about you, if you please.
It's worse than lies.
(to Chatsky)
Well, here he is!
What do they call such people, may I ask you?
What is the milder word? He's a man of fame,
An outrageous swindler and a rascal,
Anton Antonich Zagoretsky is his name.
Beware of him, he's indiscreet,
And don't play cards with him — he'll cheat.
Z a g o r e t s k y
He never bears malice though he's pert.
C h a t s k y
It would be funny, if you felt hurt.
Apart from honesty there are so many consolations:
They scold you here, and there you get congratulations.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v i c h
No, brother, they will scold you here and there,
And they will welcome you just everywhere.
Zagoretsky disappears in the crowd
Scene 10
The same people and Khlyostova. K h l y o s t o v a
It's not a joke for me at sixty five, my dear,
To get to you, it's such long and tiresome way !
I drove an hour from Pokrovka over here,
I'm exhausted, and the night is just a doomsday.
I took this blackamoor girl with me
And the little dog — to keep me company.
Let someone feed them alms from the supper tray.
Good evening, countess. (sits down)
Well, Sofia, my love,
You want to see the kind of blackamoor I have ?
The kind of creatures God creates !
The curly hair. The hunch of shoulder blades.
She's angry, has the habits of a cat.
She's as black as pitch. She looks so bad !
I'll send for her, if you allow,
She's there in the girl's room.
S o f i a No, not now.
K h l y o s t o v a
Imagine, they're exposed like animals for show . . .
I hear . . . there's a city somewhere in Turkey . . .
Who got the girl for me? Do you want to know ?
Anton Antonich Zagoretsky.
(Zagoretsky steps forward)
He's a liar, gambler, thief, a man of no esteem !
(Zagoretsky disappears)
I keep my doors locked up for him.
He's good at doing a service: sister Praskovya and I,
Two blackamoor children we have each received.
He says he bought them at the market. It's a lie.
God bless him anyway! I've got a gift.
C h a t s k y (to Platon Mihkailovich, roaring with laughter)
One has to pay for such a praise,
And Zagoretsky's run away, to save his face.
H l y o s t o v a
Who's the cheerful man? Is he respectable enough ?
S o f i a
This here one? It's Chatsky.
H l y o s t o v a
Well, what makes him laugh ?
What is he glad about ? What does he mean ?
Laughing at aged people is a sin.
You used to dance with him when you were small,
I'd pull his ears but it didn't help at all.
Scene 11
The same people and Famusov.
F a m u s o v (in a loud voice)
We're waiting now for count Pyotr Ilyich.
Oh here he is ! I was there in the rear,
Where is Skalozub Sergey Sergeyevich ?
He's a conspicuous man. No, he is not here.
Sergey Sergeyich Skalozub !
K h l y o s t o v a
Good heavens! You're rumbling louder than a tube.
Scene 12
The same people and Skalozub, then Molchalin comes.
F a m u s o v
Sergey Sergeyich, you're late,
You made us wait and wait and wait.
(leads him to Khlyostova.)
This is my sweetheart, do you know?
I told her about you long ago.
K h l y o s t o v a
You were here... in the regiment of . . . grenadiers ?
S k a l o z u b (in a loud voice)
You mean Novozemlyansk, the regiment of musketeers ?
It was her majesty's subunit — quite another story.
K h l y o s t o v a
I don't distinguish regiments, I'm sorry.
S k a l o z u b
There is a difference in full-dress coats,
The shoulder loops, the tabs and shirts. F a m u s o v
Now come along, count , I shall make you laugh:
We're playing whist. It's curious enough.
(leads Skalozub and the count away with him)
K h l y o s t o v a (to Sofia)
It's like a noose off neck indeed.
Your father is so silly. What does he need
This burly fellow for? He didn't even ask
To introduce this man to us.
M o l c h a l i n (giving her a card)
Your party will be monsieur Kock,
Foma Fomich and I.
K h l y o s t o v a
Thank you, old bloke.
(raises)
M o l c h a l i n
Your spits is lovely. Small and sleek.
I patted him. He is as smooth as silk.
K h l y o s t o v a
Thank you, my dear.
(goes out followed by Molchalin and many others.)
Scene 13
Chatsky, Sofia and some strangers, which gradually disperse.
C h a t s k y
Well, he has cleared the atmosphere . . .
S o f i a
Please don't go on.
C h a t s k y
What makes you fear?
I meant to praise him for he had commended
The angry guest.
S o f i a
With bitter words you would have ended.
C h a t s k y
I'll tell you what I thought about:
These aged women tend to get quite hot,
They always need someone around To serve them as a lightening-rod.
Molchalin, he's the kind of man
That can appease disputes like no one can!
He'll pat a dog, he'll show his greatest skill
In playing cards! He's another Zagoretsky!
You told me all his merits then,
You must have failed to mention some of them.
(goes out)
Scene 14
Sofia, then Mr N.
S o f i a (to herself)
This man, he always puts me out,
He's angry, envious and proud,
He is the humiliating kind!
M r N. (coming up to her)
I see, you are lost in thought.
S o f i a
It's Chatsky.
M r N.
Has he changed ? Or what ?
S o f i a
He is insane.
M r N.
Oh ! Has he lost his mind ?
S o f i a
Not quite . . . M r N.
But are there any indications ?
S o f i a (stares at him)
I think so.
M r N.
Oh at his age ? How come ? Good gracious !
S o f i a
Well, nothing can be done.
(To her side)
He does believe it !
Ah, Chatsky! You are fond of making fun, There's a cap and bells for you, young man !
Take it or leave it. ( goes out )
Scene 15
Mr N. then Mr D
M r N.
He's mad ! . . . That's what she thinks ! . . . My eyes !
There must be reasons . . . It can't be otherwise.
You heard the news?
M r D.
What news?
M r N.
About Chatsky.
M r D.
No.
M r N.
He's off his head !
M r D.
I don't think so.
M r N.
I'm telling you what others say.
M r D.
And now you are getting out of your way
To spread the news, my dear.
M r N.
I'll go and ask if someone knows it here.
(goes out)
Scene 16
Mr D. then Zagoretsky.
M r D.
Believe the tattler ! He'll repeat
Just any nonsense coming to his ear.
You know about Chatsky ?
Z a g o r e t s k y
What is it ?
M r D.
He's mad!
Z a g o r e t s k y
Oh yes, I know, I heard.
I do recall how it occurred.
His roguish uncle said he was insane;
He got him caught and send him to a mental home in chain.
M r D.
Why, he was here just now, here in this room.
Z a g o r e t s k y
They have unchained him, I presume.
M r D.
We don't need newspapers with you around.
I'll go and see what people talk about.
I shall ask everyone. But it's a secret. See ?
Scene 17
Zagoretsky, then countess, the granddaughter.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Who's Chatsky here ? The name's familiar to me.
I used to know a Chatsky once.
Have you ever heard of him by any chance ?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d d a u g h t e r
Of whom?
Z a g o r e t s k y
Of Chatsky, he was here in the room.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d d a u g h t e r
I know, we had a chat.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Congratulation!
He is mad.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d d a u g h t e r
What?
Z a g o r e t s k y
Yes, he's mad.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d d a u g h t e r
Imagine, I myself have noticed that;
I bet we said it with one voice.
Scene 18
The same people and countess, the grandmother.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d d a u g h t e r
Oh grandmamma, it's great ! I just rejoice !
You heard about the trouble, didn't you ?
I say ! Isn't it lovely! It's really something new !
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r ( Speaking with a strong French accent)
Will you speak louder, my friend, I cannot hear?
I have my ears stuffed . . .
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d d a u g h t e r
No time, my dear !
(points to Zagoretsky)
Il vous dira toute l'histoire . . .
I'll ask . . .
(goes out) Scene 19
Zagoretsky, Countess, the grandmother.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
What's that? Is there a fire?
Z a g o r e t s k y
For all this turmoil Chatsky is the reason.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
Did you say Chatsky? Who has put the man to prison?
Z a g o r e t s k y
He had his forehead wounded, and he lost his head.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
He's a franc mason, unfaithful, is that what you said?
Z a g o r e t s k y
No use to talk to her. (goes out)
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
Anton Antonich, dear!
Now there he comes. He's hurrying. He's in fear.
Scene 20
Countess, the grandmother and count Tugoukhovsky.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
Count, count! This count attends
All balls, though he can hardly breathe.
You, count, did you hear me?
C o u n t
Ah-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
He's hard to talk with,
At least you saw the policeman nearby?
C o u n t
Eh-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
Who was this Chatsky imprisoned by?
C o u n t
Weh-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
Give him a hover sack! Let him go soldiering!
He breaks the law! Isn't he daring?
C o u n t
Uh-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n d m o t h e r
Yes! He is an outrageous alien!
That's was he is! A downright Voltarian!
What? What? He's deaf. Take out the hearing trumpet,
Poor hearing is bad. Talking is hampered.
Scene 21
The same people and Khlyostova, Sofia, Molchalin, Platon Mikhailovitch, Natalia Dmitriyevna, countess, the granddaughter, Zagoretsky, Skalozub, then Famusov and many others.
K h l y o s t o v a
He's off his head! I beg to state it.
It is so sudden ! So unexpected !
Did you hear it, Sofia ?
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v i t c h
Who made it known ? You ?
N a t a l y a D m i t r i y e v n a
Oh, dear, everybody.
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v i t c h
Then you don't doubt. As for me, I do.
F a m u s o v (coming in)
Whom are you talking about ?
Chatsky ? Why doubt ? It's true !
I was the first to have discovered it,
I wonder why he isn't bound to bed.
He has the nerve to abuse the government.
If you should bow bending your body
To our sovereign or anybody,
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