Let the litter crawling with slugs —
Give them a whole.
Take themselves унесемся
In silent dal,
Go away, leave us vow to make
Here the sadness.
Leave the world it boring
Former whim.
That the sky our fat,
At all do not give...
Strange verses, stupid even. I still wanted to write ten or twelve quatrains, but there was no time, we were in a hurry, and then it was just not to the verses, and they almost all have been forgotten.
And only now I suddenly remembered them and still, only thanks to them, that that night Охромов hard draining the pockets in addition to the rubbish was the little, white leather обложечке notebook. In it, I knew it perfectly, Охромов carefully wrote down the address of your new friends, numbering them in order. Moreover, it does not erase them when started new relationships, not to destroy and not even замазывал paste a ballpoint pen, believing that they can ever be useful, and this can happen at any time, quite unexpectedly.
Bullet I rushed to the bedside table, feeling that now, if I don't find this блокнотика, my rough and sudden joy changes, such as deep sense of disappointment and frustration, it may even happen fainted or something like that. Dreading this, but, not wanting to be in doubt, I flung open the door and just dumped impatiently on the floor from the bedside table and all its contents, blasting out desperately for cover. From her with noise showered down any bullshit, something rang and fought, something шуршало, something fell apart, раскатывалось, разлеталось on the floor, but I never did see, I was interested only in a small notebook in white cover.
Through instant, the contents of my nightstand has crumbled around me mixed and uneven, holey carpet, but among the things that mess разлеталось and fell upon the floor, among all these notebooks and pens, paper, plastic casings and Korobkov, compact cameras and bubbles of Cologne, deodorant and other liquids, shaving cream, wipe off spilled razor unit and others, I saw what was afraid not to find what now only think and my heart pounding with excitement, зашлось happiness and unconscious feelings.
Trembling with eagerness and experiences fingers I picked it up from the floor and flipped through a few pages to find the one which Охромов led by the girls believe in your pride. However, looking at her, I nearly yelled with frustration: last here was recorded some Madame, which, judging by the date Dating, recorded in front of her name, surname, he met during the winter, and so, of course, has long separated. Yes me she once and was not interested. I needed only one that came from Охромова with a note that is captured at the moment my thoughts completely. Well its something address and phone number, or even a name and a surname here was not in sight. On other pages Notepad this girl meant it could not, because they were taken careful Grisha different sorts of girls.
Yes, Охромов recently have become lazy and forgetful for his exploits and victory on the love Fonte. With them this first happened. Sorry I haven't been in this little book sometime earlier, it would have reminded him that he recorded his last victory: it would be Oh so now would be useful.
The enraged and angry at the meanness and the cunning of his fate, ready to indulge in hysterics and crazies, I wanted to throw my Notepad with a sweep the floor, but mechanically turned the pages, restraining himself from such conduct and similar encroachments. The remaining pages were empty, only in one place suddenly flashed something dark, similar to the record. I'm thrilled this place again and saw only a certain set of digits, reminiscent of by the number of combinations and location phone number in this city. In any case, the number of characters correspond. I was ready to believe in any kind of miracle: so I wanted to find this girl.
Do not delay another moment and forget about everything, I rushed to call and in the corridor came across his friends, roommates, which is why they came back from the city in school. Pausing only for a moment to say Hello to them and ask them to watch my things and not leave until my return, promising to return soon, I started running further and don't remember how, but very quickly got to the phone booth, near which a few weeks ago beating of the head of the patrol, and then alerted by a guard chased and caught were there cadets. Now here was quiet and empty. Only a few kids were playing in the grass our small garden fenced off from the road with a low decorative wooden fence, hiding from the burning rays of the sun in the shade of drying from the heat and dryness of the weather even from a dusty city atmosphere under the shade of the dwarf and the old poplar trees.
In the booth it was stuffy, stood from the smell of stale разогревшейся, hardened rubber rug air which immediately broke into a sweat. I dialed a number and started to search the pockets of the coin to throw it in this device. In the receiver he heard the dial tone, then someone picked up the receiver at the other end of the telephone wire, but I did not hear him, because not find a coin, and the machine is disconnected.
I jumped out of the booth, but as luck would have it, nobody on the street was as if all gone. I rushed down the street towards the exit of the town, hoping to meet anyone in its path, who would not be sorry coins for the sake of my troubles, and only at the crossroad with Avenue towards caught a little, bent, скрюченная to earth старушенция, walking, apparently, from a trolleybus stop, hardly влачившая their худющие, dried from the long and arduous life of feet in the boots of those circumcised ankle, like galoshes, who looked under this wildly scorching sun, to say the least, uncomfortable, hot. I ran to her, full of hope, that the old lady will not refuse "granddaughter".
-Grandma, рублик not разменяете smaller me so to call is to it. Me urgently need to call, and no trifles, as luck! — I turned to her with an entreaty in his voice, but she continued to walk forward, burying his glance low lowered peephole into the ground, though I was not there, and as if I had spoken with the request.
I thought, maybe not so addressed her grannies — pickiest people, not worse red girls, — and so she don't want to talk to me.
-Grandmother! I said still more affectionate and reverent as possible.
The old lady looked at me, распрямив its согбенную back and hardly looking up from the earth, as if woke up from sleep or unconsciousness. Her frightened eyes first expanded, and then suddenly narrowed and became sharp as a pin.
-Ugh! — spit it so suddenly that I barely had time to leap aside. Antichrist damn! FIE on thee, thou wretch!
I hurried away from the unknown than an angry old ladies. Happened first led me in bewilderment, and then laughed. I imagined how it looked from the outside, the scene: I to the Granny with affection and respect, and she at me like that, like a dog with a special fire. As much spit beginning. And, most importantly, the old lady this плюгавенькая, the half of my growth, sloppy, and the nature, like a Panther, and rushes, where not looking! Really crazy!" — I decided and went on to bus stop, where there were people.
"But I'm really unbaptized! "I thought, however, a minute later when a man to whom I applied, I was counting the coins, выковыривая them out of a handful of little things in his plump little отекшей hand. -But how did she know?!"
I haven't decided yet what to say when talking on the phone and stood near the phone booth at the stop waiting for so long as there is a good long talk a woman, suddenly, almost fell from the surprise.
My heart skipped a beat in his chest, took down somewhere, pulling to the pain, to squeak, to awe, as if титеву bow or a string guitar, his aorta, then turned again, and began to pound, delighted, work with such a furious force in the chest that seemed to me like there's not anxious my heart, and freestyle wrestling, the proud bird, locked up in a cage, rushes to the freedom that will meet with the forces of the puppies will break his некрепкую prison, going to take its flight out of her and never come back. One thousand needles pierced through my whole body, drilling his shrill delight and joy. Breath, as it happened mo me always in moments of excessive excitement, even in the dark for a few moments. I felt that пьянею from happiness. I stood, I looked and couldn't believe the miracle: the one I was looking for, that обыскался, which is now going to ring at random, and wondered whether it is a telephone number that strange cipher on empty and clean page блокнотика Охромова, the walked towards me.
She crossed the road, little pink satin skirt and white mesh shirt-безрукавке with bright colored stripes on the chest. Apparently she just came out of останавливавшегося at a bus stop on the opposite side of the Avenue and now with a bunch of people crossed the street, standing out among all the others with their light, bright and at the same time a simple dress.
Now she turned her head to the right to see all the traffic, and I caught the eyes bend her graceful, long neck, so simple and hardly seems significant, yet charming, all convulsed from bliss contemplation charms. I blew the spot grace, truly Royal become this simple movement, on which none of the others I paid no attention. I suddenly wanted to go to each and say: "Look, what a charming girl! See, she had a Swan neck and Royal become. She doesn't, she soared, floats, glides through the air, not referring to the sinful earth. Just look at what the grace of movement of the arms, hands, fingers! What is the plasticity of her body, as if dancing in her simple movement. I have the impression that seems like it's in a pink haze surrounding it, like a great flower red rose swinging in a light wind. Its movement is the music of the body. Look, look! Look!!!"
I wanted to come and say this to all who stood near the heap anticipation of a trolley bus, but then I was scared that all the really will notice this and will admire it. And then I wanted to see this one, and joyfully felt so good that no one else pays attention to this miracle, and it is available only I, as if it were coming down from heaven only happened to me and for me. I wanted to say is "Thank you!" for what she was, like a miracle, but she was far away, I could neither move nor disclose mouth.
In one moment I wanted to immediately that she saw me, she smiled and not waved a friendly hand, but remain unnoticed, unrecognised, and crawled it.
In a moment while she was crossing the road, my heart was entirely belong to her. I already adored her. My inner voice had called her, but the mouth remained silent and mute. However, my heart was flushed, and her head played March of folly, a spectacular, dazzling, foaming like a glass of champagne, sweet March of folly.
She walked towards me. She walked past me. She walked past me. It has already passed...
I was stunned, in love, confused. I'm crazy in love with her at these moments ordinary simple life, in which she was crossing the street, and I thought I fell in love with her when I saw for the first time.
The woman that we love! You bring us crazy! As a rule, you will not only does not hold any mutual feelings or just sympathy to his fans, not noticing their devotion to you, but to have for them feelings are not so pleasant, hassle them with his determination and inaccessibility, his attempt at nonchalance and indifference. Such is loved by many, and they long to play with fate, experiencing his arrogance the gentlemen of his heart and beauty, until finally. 't find that lost almost all of his admirers, and those who remain do not have such a passion and a willingness to sacrifice their lives for their consent and hands.
Why are you so madly in love men, for what they are killed for you? For what? Perhaps it is for your impregnability thirsting for bodily pleasures brains behind the mystique of your inaccessible for their understanding of existence, which usually is proud commitment loneliness? For the deaf stone wall of alienation hidden abandoned, the bleak garden of your soul, for a long time already depressed to care and affection, longing for a tender and faithful hands, and fearing to be deceived, to put on their land is not the one who hit him and who to Kona will trample the last living still stirrings of hope, will ruin it completely and will leave no stone unturned and from what it was. Afraid of your soul fall into the hands of monster, which is in many men. For your highest pride and the unavailability of hiding, like in a fortress with gentle soul and your thirsty for light love heart, yearning for a joyous feeling shy and delicate nature of the beautiful reverent flower, страшащегося blossoming not then not.
You want to love, but your heart is silent. It is not yet испило the Cup anguish, and suffering the bitter wine of life, those endless, sleepless nights waiting and thirst body that should awaken the senses and give you your only right choice. And only this powerful, crushing all impetus, which rushed by this avalanche of feelings and experiences, tore off from the peak of your high loneliness and the infinite sadness, only she is able to destroy the mighty walls unapproachable and proud expectations.
It is a pity that, as a rule, it happens too late, when the most committed Cavaliers tired оббивать thresholds of your castle, lost all hope for success you have, remember, finally, on its own male dignity for men too eats pride, however, a very different nature — and found a more compliant, сговорчивых, unpretentious, yet happy, and leave you alone. The others all perished without a trace, and you were alone in their невзятой fortress, only the shell of your suffering soul, which at one point after this, too late for real love and feelings, unfortunately, break, break and throw you into the abyss of a life, do not go where you want and where before you could get, and in a strange, неродную bed, where everything will change before you, and you will уступчивее most accommodating from the former. And the former pride of your will disappear, disappear gloss and tinsel, your ugly garden, and not found his gardener, you will see and всеобозреваем in its naked deformity and neglect. And where are all former disappear?
Oh, love! What are you doing to us?! Who has not experienced your suffering? You гнешь and crank on people with passion and крушишь and break their fate as you wish, and move разлучаешь them as you want. Who you reigns, angel or devil, God or the devil, the servants of God or demons? God or the devil sent you on the heads of people? You're the most foolish thing in the world, for the subject you the heart of man, and the reason you do not control. And you're the most beautiful thing there is in life, in the world, because no matter how much suffering and pain brought you, without you, human life would become grey and monotonous. You drive the best forces, all light and good in man and humanity. You feed on the roots ebony Hatred, juices which exude evil, bringing natural to ugly and disgusting.
