Neo genezis evangelion 1-6

Vague doubts began to torment me -after all, if my memory serves me correctly, there was a monstrous mess in the captain's apartment...

"What makes you think that?" Katsuragi snorted. "They probably brought your stuff."

"Ugh, the worst thing has not been confirmed... How come I didn't figure it out?" Was I supposed to come here with just a backpack? Hmm, cartons are cartons, but this plastic thing with the NERVE logo is very interesting to me... Has Gendo already reacted to my request?

"Why is there so much?"

"Shinji, you should know better."

Misato panted, fiddling with the electronic lock. "Come on, you piece of iron, open up... aha!.."

She pushed the door aside and turned to me with the most triumphant look. Well, what are you standing for? Come on, make yourself comfortable now it's your home too! Now let's take a break and get your things done... For the sake of decency, I hesitated a little near the entrance, and finally took a step inside my house for the near future. I put down the grocery bag, took off my backpack, and took off my shoes. Misato had already galloped somewhere deep into the apartment, probably to her room.

"I've got a little mess here, just don't pay attention!" I heard her voice. "Make yourself comfortable. And put the groceries in the fridge, please.

Tek-S... And where will we have an interesting kitchen, eh? Is it here?

I couldn't help but exclaim when I saw what Misato most likely considered her kitchen.

Have you ever, if not lived, then at least visited a classic student dormitory? Yes, just in the one where the state of permanent chaos and ruin is maintained year-round, and cockroaches run away from the lack of food? Yeah, so there's a performance...

So, Misato's apartment looked more like a similar dorm room than anything else. Piles of boxes with things that the captain still hadn't bothered to unpack. The mess, the junk, the things scattered on the floor in disarray and, of course, the monstrous mess in the kitchen. A mountain of unwashed dishes in the sink (shall we wash before eating, Captain Katsuragi? A typical communal approach...), a bunch of chewed chopsticks on the table and a few plastic noodle plates, it even seems half-eaten... Brr... Well, the fact that this kitchen table has seen better days was not even worth mentioning. And, of course, beer cans are everywhere.

No, it's not like that — EVERYWHERE.

In order not to accidentally stumble, you had to carefully choose where to step. No, Misato still didn't suffer from a complete lack of cleanliness — most of the garbage was peacefully in a bulky trash can... But NOT ALL OF IT!

Damn, it's a good thing that I have five years of living in a university dormitory and the experience of a symbiotic existence with chaos.

So, why did I come here at all? Oh, the groceries!..

I put down a large paper bag with groceries (black plastic bags With HANDLES, where are you, darlings?..) and thoughtfully looked for the refrigerator, I even found two — one is just big, and the second is very big. So, if I remember everything correctly, Katsuragi's pet penguin, Pen-Pen, lives in the latter, an obvious victim of biotechnological research, otherwise how would he have such an exorbitant level of intelligence? Okay, we'll find out more about him later (gee, what if, according to the worldviews of the most frostbitten fans, he really is the true God of this continuum?), but in the meantime, we'll put something in the refrigerator...

No, one ham needs to be defrosted — where do we have a suitable bowl?..

I found a small saucepan, put a bird's foot in it and filled all this happiness with tap water (it's good, however, it doesn't really carry bleach). So, now move the rest of the products to the refrigerator...

I open the door...

My eyes are glued to the long rows of half-liter aluminum cans of Ibiza beer... The everyday life of a hungry student means no food, but there should be booze... What else do we have in stock? Yeah, bags of dried squid and fish, as well as batteries of cookies — what the hell should I put in the refrigerator? I quickly make room for FOOD, not some misunderstanding, and glance at the small clock hanging on the wall. Nine o'clock in the evening, and how long have I been in the infirmary?.. Okay, we'll still have time to cook, but first it would be nice to take a shower, otherwise I'm already seeing this fucking bloody smell of LS everywhere...

Chapter 5

"Hands!" I barked menacingly, brandishing a large spoon — unfortunately, there was nothing else to interfere with the soup. It's a good thing that at least I found something European from the cutlery, otherwise I can eat with chopsticks, but not soup-roast!..

"Shinji, I'm just a little bit..." Misato said plaintively, jumping away from the stove.

"I'll give you some" I muttered, turning back to stirring the student's signature dish, and trying not to look at Katsuragi. "It's not ready yet. And anyway, you'd better clean up the kitchen."

"No, well, she's not ashamed to show off in front of me in a T-shirt and short shorts, is she?"

Even though my body is only fourteen years old now, and my knowledge set is minimal, it still somehow suggests certain thoughts... Okay, okay, enough about that already.

The girl sighed resignedly and went to the table, grabbing a rag on the way — the prospect of cleaning inspired her little. No, of course I understand everything — laziness, but you can't live in a pigsty (oink-oink) either! By the way, I'm a growing body right now and I need a healthy atmosphere to live in, or I might not grow up anymore!..

By the way, I was really worried about this question — having already got used to my meter of ninety, I felt a certain feeling... discomfort, maybe... I'm kind of Japanese here, but they're different in height, though...

I remembered Dr. Akagi. There aren't many green-eyed blonds among them either, sort of...

"Shinji!"

"Ar"

"What kind of dish is this? I've never seen anything like it, but it smells delicious... It looks like it, though..."

"If you don't like it, I'll eat it myself," I said.

"No way, Shinji! You misunderstood me!.."

"Misato, don't shirk— there's another stain on the table..."

My dish, you see, looks bad... So what? To you, commander, what is more important — goodies (although, rather, satiety) or appearance? It's certainly better than this kuksa of yours (I can't see her!!!)...

And I was cooking, in fact, a classic communal dish — soup, then porridge or roast. Nothing complicated — a little rice, potatoes (the brain fell into a stupor when it saw them already peeled in bags in the supermarket), carrots, plus a ham. Chop everything finely, mix, pour water, cook and eat. Yes! And don't forget to spit in the face of anyone who calls it dog food.

Oh, it's a pity I didn't find any pasta and stew here...

"Shinji..."

"Well, what else?" I replied wearily. Living with a person like Misato is very exhausting, although it's fun and not boring...

"Shinji, I want to talk about yesterday's fight," Misato said, looking at me seriously.

"And what is it, Commander? I won." I was wary.

"That's the whole point!" The girl exclaimed. "Can you explain how you did all this stuff with the AT-field? Ritsko almost chewed off her own robe on the command bridge, trying to figure it all out... We didn't even imagine such possibilities, but here you get into it for the first time and somehow it is..."

"...too suspicious...?"

I thought about it for a while and answered, however, not forgetting to stir the witch's brew.:

"You know, Misato... I don't really understand how I did it all, and I'm not sure if I can do it all over again. It was just like an epiphany, an understanding... They'll ask you how you move your hands, so what do you say?"

"With the help of muscles," Katsuragi answered honestly, after a short thought.

"Yeah, can you describe the whole process of transmitting nerve impulses from brain neurons?.. He-ere... That's how I just realized that since the field surrounds my body, its concentration can be changed. Or that you can use it to beat... The school physics course is nothing complicated.

"And all I remember from school is something about plus and minus, and the apple that hit Newton on the head..." Misato mumbled dejectedly, having listened to my entire tirade with her mouth open. "Li-isten... Maybe I should transfer you from the pilots to Ritsko's science department. You're going to invent new Evangelions!"

"And if it's not a secret, how many employees does she already have in her department?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well..." Katsuragi wondered. "About fifty..."

"How many pilots do you have now? Considering that I was sent alone to the decisive battle, I don't think much..."

"Counting you, there are two" The girl laughed.

"Oh, and who's the other one?" I "asked".

"The second one," the captain corrected me expectedly. "Her name is Rei, Ayanami Rei. A strange girl, in my opinion, somewhat out of this world, but that's understandable..."

So, the last part of the phrase alerted me to something — why did these deviations from the norm become the norm? Katsuragi doesn't seem to know about Rei's artificial nature yet...

"...I never found out where she was from or who her parents were..." Misato finished, dispelling my suspicions. "She actually got to the NERVE before me. Well, never mind, you'll get to know her soon enough... I think so, even though she's, um, not very sociable..."

"Well, we'll wait and see." I drawled philosophically. "By the way, can I ask you a question, Misato?"

"Go ahead."

"Why did you build a huge robot, but you couldn't put an autonomous power source on it and give it a better weapon than a simple knife? I do not know if there is a rocket launcher or a large-caliber cannon..."

"Er..." The question stumped Misato. "To be honest, I don't even know... You'd better ask Ritsko..."

"Absolutely," I said categorically, because I was really very interested in this problem. "And about my preliminary developments in the field of Eva's armament, too."

"What do you mean? Do you think you can come up with something better than an entire UN institution?!" Katsuragi asked me sarcastically. "Yes, you are a worthy son of your father!"

"You're right, of course, Misato... But I have to fight," I snapped. "And I probably know better, too. Yesterday, for example, I lost my knife and couldn't find it afterwards..."

"So it is..."

"...Was it difficult to put the second one somewhere? And preferably in a more comfortable place, not in the shoulder... Or even put retractable blades in my hand, like in the comics. By the way, why the knife? I'd like something more long-range — a cannon or a rocket launcher, although you can also use a spear or a sword..."

"Shinji, Shinji!" the captain waved her hands. "Why are you telling me this? I don't know much about it!"

"You're my tactical commander!" I asked indignantly.

"That's right," the girl nodded. "And my business is tactics, not technical inventions."

""Let's sink a couple of battleships and shoot him underwater..."" I muttered, remembering Katsuragi's monstrously idiotic plan to destroy Object A in the series. And this is my tactical commander? Tin!..

"What?"

"No, nothing. Sit down to eat, please, I say — the dish is ready."

"Hurray!.."

* * *

"Ooh... It's delicious, though unusual!" Misato concluded with satisfaction, taking a long sip of beer. "It really doesn't look, uh, good...."

"But, but!" I warned her, shaking a piece of bun at her. I've already finished my portion. "One more line from the spot, and you'll cook on your own next time. You'd better do as I do."

"That is?" Katsuragi furrowed her brows, watching me carefully clean the plate.

"Misato, do you like to wash dishes?" I answered the question with a question.

"We-ell..."

"And without well?"

"No," the captain sighed resignedly.

"And why?" Just be honest.

"Too lazy and too long..."

"Here!" I solemnly raised a piece of bun. "And why? But because there's too much left in the plate, edible, by the way! And using my method, we clean the surface, and if anything happens, you can not even wash it, but just rinse it — it's almost clean anyway!"

"Shinji, you're a genius!" Misato exclaimed, rolling her eyes, grabbing another bun. "On behalf of the NERVE command, I would like to thank you!"

"I serve humanity!" I shouted bravely, trying to stand at attention without getting up from the table. "Or is that not what they say here?"

"We usually don't say anything at all. And they don't."

"It sucks..." I said philosophically.

"So, by the way!.." Katsuragi perked up. "Since this is your home now, too, let's share the household chores!" The captain's eyes twinkled unkindly.

Of course, of course... We swam, we know, I mean, we saw, we remember. That time, Katsuragi-san, you blamed almost everything on poor Shinji. But I'm too lazy to take all this on myself — I'm not so much a stronger person than him, as I am more lazy...

"That's good! How are we going to divide it?"

"Maybe rock-paper-scissors?" Misato asked hopefully.

Although, having managed to get to know me a little, she didn't seem to count on a favorable outcome of this hopeless case.

"Ah, no way! That won't do," I categorically shook my head. "We divide by functions: taking out the trash, washing and cleaning for you, cooking for me."

"Shinji, what are you talking about?" Katsuragi was indignant. "Let's do it this way..."

* * *

"It's a deal," Misato concluded wearily, shaking my hand.

"Finally," I replied just as wearily.

For an hour we argued and haggled over the allocation of household chores. The captain turned out to be a tough nut to crack. As a result, in addition to cooking, cleaning also went to me, but I still pushed the rest off myself...

"Ugh, you're a fucking salesman..."

"Look at yourself, Comrade Captain."

"Oops! I let it slip..."

"And why, er... A comrade?" Misato immediately grabbed onto me. "Didn't you call me that before the fight? It's like a Russian word, right?"

Okay, let's get out of it — I'm playing the image of a kid who's crazy about guns, right?..

"Exactly. So, when addressing the military In Russia, it is customary to use the address not Mr., but comrade so-and-so, adding the rank of captain there, or major. Is that clear?"

"Yeah," Katsuragi nodded. "How do you know so much? For example, I was at the Russian NERVE base, but I didn't even know such subtleties..."

"Read books, Misato. Smart, thick books..."

"Brr..." Katsuragi shuddered. "Don't say such terrible things in front of me..."