Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Six — Ready to do Violence on Their Behalf
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Six — Ready to do Violence on Their Behalf “This,” Momma said as she laid a scroll down onto the table. “Is a map of the area.” She spread the scroll open, revealing a map carefully drawn in soft greens and vibrant blues. A few marks here and there, with some careful handwriting next to them, indicating points of interest.I noticed Insmouth to the south, tucked at the end of the bay, and Hopsalot nearer to the middle of the map.“Alright,” I said as I stood next to Momma, my teacup cradled in both hands.She touched the start of a river to the west, traced it through the centre of Hospalot, then tapped a point a bit to the east, an area that had a few hills and a little river crossing through it. “Right over here. The area’s been cleared of trees for a while now. There’s a dungeon here, an old one that we previously used to train. It’s been getting strange lately.”“Another Evil Root?” Howard asked.Quest Updated!Trim the Cruel!You have heard a rumour about an Evil Root! Discover more! Destroy it!I looked to Amaryllis, then nodded when she met my eye.“Possibly,” Momma said. “We’ve been thinking of sending some of our warriors over to see if something was up. The dungeon is set in the ruins of some ancient fort. Lots of weaker enemies to practice against. Now we’ve noticed that sometimes the water flowing from there is stagnant and foul.”“Moving stagnant water?” Amaryllis asked.“Yes,” Momma said. “Or at least, something like that. I’m afraid I don’t know much about it. We’ve been warning the little ones against drinking from the stream, and that we’ve been boiling our water to keep safe.”“That’s probably a wise thing to do, in any case,” Bastion said. “So, if I understood correctly, you want to go see about this dungeon before the one in Insmouth?”“Not quite,” Momma said. “I think we could fix this dungeon first, then see about the one in Insmouth. If we can’t fix this one, then it’s unlikely that we can help further south. That, and there are some old relics we sometimes find in those dungeons that might come in handy.”Bastion tapped his fingers against the hilt of his sword. “How many floors does this dungeon have?”“Nine,” Momma said.“And you use it for practice?” he added, surprised.“Buns tend to have a bit of wanderlust when they reach a certain age. We don’t like to send our young ones out into the world without them knowing how to defend themselves at least.”Momma smiled rather wistfully. “Sometimes, even that isn’t enough. The world outside of Hopsalot can be a very dangerous place. But buns will be buns.”“I see,” Bastion said. “What else can you tell us about the dungeon?”Momma hummed. “The dungeon grew out of some ruins. In that regard, it’s a rather typical dungeon. Lots of simple traps. Skeletal enemies on the first few floors. The deeper down you go, the more difficult the enemy becomes to combat. It’s very much a magic and undeath-themed dungeon.”I grinned. “We’ll get to fight skeletons?” I asked.“I haven’t decided whether or not you should come,” Momma said.I blinked. “Huh?”“No offense, little bun, but you and your friends, with the exception of the fine Sylph paladin, are not on the stronger side. This is an old dungeon, with foes that you would have difficulty against.”“Huh?” I repeated.“You moron,” Amaryllis said. “Haven’t you looked at the levels of the adults around here?”“No?” I tried. “Are they high?”Momma giggled. “A little bit, yes. These forests are very dangerous.”“But you have that font to keep things safe,” I said.The bun matriarch shook her head. “No sweetie, the font only suppresses the number of creatures in this area. Those that come to Hopsalot tend to be quite fearsome.”“But it looks so peaceful here.”She nodded. “Of course it does. We keep it that way. The woods for a league around Hospalot are patrolled day and night by brave buns. They hunt and drive off the weaker creatures, and work together to bring down the stronger ones. Our peace is earned.”Momma's speech gave off a scary vibe, and I couldn't help but lean back. “I didn’t know that,” I said. “I thought you were just, uh, really nice.”“We are,” Momma said. “It’s a hard lesson for some young buns to learn, but niceness need not mean toothless.”I tightened my fists by my sides and looked to the ground for a bit. It felt like I was being chastised by my mom for not doing the dishes or something. “Sorry,” I said.“There’s nothing to apologize for,” she replied.Amaryllis sighed. “Broccoli is a particular kind of pacifist,” she said.“What kind is that?” Momma asked.“The dumb kind.”“Amaryllis!” I complained. Awen, being the best, patted my shoulder for comfort.“M-miss, um, Momma,” Awen said. “Other than our level, why couldn’t we come along?”Momma hummed. “Perhaps we also don’t want to allow visitors to see our unique way of facing enemies,” the bun said.“Oh!” I said. “Like the Way of the Mystic Bun?” I asked.The woman stared. “Where did you hear of that, little bun?”I shrugged. “It’s a skill I got, from my Cinnamon Bun Bun class. It came from merging... um, if I remember right, it was Hopping, which came from Jumping, and Physical Manakinesis. Oh, and I needed Kicking Combat Proficiency too.”Momma looked me up and down, and I felt as if she was judging me a little, but not in a mean way. “Well, I suppose I can’t fault you if you came by it naturally. It’s a skill that a few buns here have, and one that we find quite useful. A clever bun can use it to take on a much bigger opponent. I hope it serves you well.”This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.“Does that mean we can come along?” I asked.“You seem set on exploring this dungeon,” Momma said. “Yet you’re not close to your next class evolution yet. Why the hurry?”“It’s about the adventure,” I said. “You can’t call yourself an explorer if you sit back and let others do all the snooping around.”She smiled. “I suppose not. Give me a few moments. We were considering going to the dungeon in a few days, not so soon.”“We could wait,” I said.“Can we?” Amaryllis asked. “This detour is already eating up more of our time than I’d want, and whatever lead we had is now dwindling fast. As far as I can tell, what we’re doing here is giving these Buns a chance to prove that they can take care of the local Evil Root on their own. Then we can see about getting their help to Insmouth. It’s a transaction between Insmouth and Hopsalot. We can’t park ourselves here and meddle forever.”“But we want to help both,” I said.Amaryllis shook her head. “No, we want to play middleman so that if both sides come out for the better, we can reap some of the rewards. If things go bad, we aren’t responsible for helping them.”“Amaryllis,” I said.She huffed and turned away from me while crossing her wings. “You soft-hearted idiot. You know what we’re travelling to Sylphfree for, right? Averting a war ought to rank a lot higher than saving a pair of tiny villages way out in the middle of nowhere.”I noticed Howard perking up at the last, but he remained quiet.“I can’t ignore people that need help,” I said.“I know. It’s part of what makes you the idiot you are. It’s also why I haven’t dragged you out of here by one ear yet. There’s a chance the buns here can take care of the root. If so, then that’s great. If not, then it’s not really our concern.”Momma hummed a little tune. “I see you have some discussing to do,” she said. “If everyone is done with their tea, perhaps we can step out back and enjoy the garden while I talk to some of the other buns?”Momma rolled up the map and looked like she was about to leave with it before she hesitated and placed it back onto the table. With a last smile, she picked up the cups left around and walked off.“I think,” I said as soon as the kitchen door was closed. “That my stance is pretty obvious. It would be nice to be able to help, and we’d be making more friends along the way.”“I think we ought to go,” Amaryllis said. “Not without bringing Howard here back, of course. We should keep our word, but we never agreed to any sort of extended stay.”“I agree with Miss Albatross,” Bastion said.“Really? I thought you’d be all for helping people,” I said.“They seem rather competent already,” he said. “I doubt we could offer all that much help.”I scrunched my nose as I thought. I didn’t see whatever Bastion saw when it came to the locals being competent. They were certainly very cute, but they didn’t look like fighters or anything like that. Just normal people with big fuzzy ears and widdle poof-ball tails.“I... I think we should help,” Awen said.I grinned over at her.Then Amaryllis scoffed. “The way you’ve been staring at Momma I think you’d agree to anything she asks.”Awen’s face reddened and her enthusiasm sputtered. “N-no no, that’s not true,” she said. “I was thinking about Rose. Rose things.”I thought about it for a little bit. I was kind of acting rashly, Amaryllis was right about that much. My instinct to try and help was maybe getting in between me and my common sense. Insmouth wasn’t my responsibility, but it was suffering from an Evil Root problem, and in a way that was my problem.On the other hand, our mission was to reach out to try and stop an entire war. A war!I didn’t know if wars on Dirt were anything like those on Earth. I imagined they were a whole lot different. But they were probably just as bad. People trying to hurt others on a grand scale. That was awful to think about, and if we failed to stop that, then, in a way, it would be somewhat our fault.I chewed on my lip a bit while tuning out Amaryllis and Bastion’s discussion. They were arguing about how they could get back.“I think I’ll stay here,” I said.Their discussion cut off.“What?” Amaryllis asked.“I think I’ll stay here. In Hopsalot,” I said. “We need to pass by here on the way north anyway. So you could always just pick me up on the way back. You guys can bring Howard home, then pick me up on the way back.”“And what, pray tell, will you be doing here?” Amaryllis asked.“Helping with the dungeon. Maybe if I help they’ll be able to find some way to break the Evil Root. And maybe that’ll be enough to fix everything. One more pair of hands might not be much, but it might make the difference.”Amaryllis covered her face with her talons. “You idiot,” she said. “Have you really made up your mind?”I nodded. “I know that there’s a chance that this will make us late, and that that could be bad. But we can help here, now, and if we don’t do that just because there’s a chance that we might not be able to help someone later.” I squirmed a little. “I don’t want to be that kind of bun.”Amaryllis threw her wings into the air. “Fine! You obstinate idiot.”“Wow,” I said. I couldn’t help but smile as that tiny knot in my tummy at the thought of my friends being angry came apart. “You gave in fast,” I said.“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.“I don’t know. Maybe you wanted to help all along, but just weren’t sure?”Awen nodded. “Amaryllis is a good person, deep, deep inside.”“Deep... you’re both idiots. And you both know that Momma hasn’t agreed to anything. There’s still a chance she’ll flat out refuse to let us come.”“I think that the gesture will count for a lot then,” I said.
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Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Cuter Than a Bun's Ear
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Cuter Than a Bun's Ear I wore the biggest, goofiest smile as I skipped ahead of all of my best friends.Amaryllis trailed behind me, grumbling and being very Amaryllis-y about being there, but she was there, which made me happy.Awen didn’t grumble or complain. She just hugged her crossbow close, and sometimes made sure her warhammer was loose in its sheath.Bastion, for his part, looked as cool as a really cool cucumber.“Don’t worry guys,” I said. “I’m sure Momma has a couple of good, strong buns with her. We’ll probably be fine.”Amaryllis huffed an ‘you’re an idiot’ kind of huff. “You’re an idiot,” she repeated, this time with words. “I don’t know how you missed it, but that woman is strong. Older, yes, but strong.”“Miss Bristlecone,” Bastion said. “Your uncle is Abraham Bristlecone, correct?”“Awa? Yes, he is,” Awen said. “Do you know him?”“I know of him,” Bastion said. “I suspect that Momma and Mister Bristlecone are around the same level. The kinds of people that you don’t see all that often, and who can cause a great deal of trouble if they put their minds to it.”“Are there people like that with the Sylphs?” I asked as I took mental note about that. Was Momma really that strong? She looked more mom-like than strong-like. Maybe this was one of those ‘moms are scary’ situations.Bastion hummed. “A few. You met Inquisitor Storm. She’s quite formidable. There are some heroes that work among the paladins, and some captains are quite famous for their bravery and strength. Being a very martial nation has helped the sylph gain a few impressive people.”“I hope I get to meet some of them,” I said.“I very much hope the opposite,” Bastion said. “On an entirely different subject, I think we’re being followed.”We were only a couple of meters away from Momma’s house. It was a bit soon for us to have followers. But a look over my shoulder made a few heads dip under the top of the hill under which Momma lived.“Looks like the little buns are curious,” I said.“It seems like a racial trait,” Amaryllis said. “At least, judging by your own tendency to run headlong into trouble.”“Hey!” I said. “I ran into trouble before turning into a bun.”“Ah, so it’s more of a Broccoli problem than a bun problem. I see. I’ll have to ask the buns to forgive me. I shouldn’t put everyone on the same platter.”We found Momma near the middle of Hopsalot, in a part of the town hiding in the shade of a trio of huge trees with a big house in them. I wasn’t sure if it counted as one house, actually, or a few connected by rope bridges.I shook my head and stopped gawking. We had more important things to do than sight-see.I skipped over to Momma, then paused a little ways away. The older bun was talking to a trio of adult buns, all of them wearing bits and pieces of armour and carrying weapons. They looked like hardened adventurers. Very cute hardened adventurers.Momma finished whatever she was saying, then gestured for them to wait before moving over to us. “Hello again,” she said.“Hi!” I replied. “We came to the consensus that we all should come and help, even if we can’t help that much.”Momma chuckled and rubbed one of my ears in a way that made my leg twitch. I didn’t know that could happen. “You’re very welcome for the offer. I was going to decline if you made it, but I’ve just learned that we might be down a helper or two.”“Are they okay?” I asked.“Nothing too serious,” Momma said. “One of my buns was injured near the dungeon. An unlucky arrow, right in the knee. But he’ll be fine in a day or two, I’m sure. Buns can be pretty hardy.”“Oh, okay,” I said. “That’s good, that they’ll be fine, I mean.”Momma set her hands on her hips and eyed the lot of us. “We’ll be heading out in an hour. It takes a while to get to the dungeon. Since we’ll be short a member, I suppose having all of you along will be enough to pick up the slack.”“We’re not that bad,” I said.“Oh my, brave one, aren’t you? No offence, little one, but I don’t think you’re quite as ready as you think. But, we could use some help with the baggage and such-like. And more hands will make lighter work.”I pouted, but Momma didn’t seem ready to argue. Amaryllis looked a bit miffed about it, but when I met Bastion’s eyes he nodded, and I figured he meant that Momma was in the right with this one.“Alright then,” I said. “We can take the Beaver over to the dungeon if you want. It’ll make the trip easier.”Mamma hummed and looked over to the Beaver Cleaver. “I think... not. There are some nasty fire-flinging creatures around. With the dungeon acting up, they might be agitated and come out and make a mess. A few might be running out in the wild already, and they’d see that nice ship of yours as one big target.”“Ah, I’d really rather not lose my ship,” I said.Momma nodded. “It’s not that long of a trek. A few hours at most? It depends on who and what we meet along the way. So rest up, and get ready. When I call you over I expect everyone to be ready to go.”I nodded. “We will be,” I said. “In the meantime, can we play with the little buns?”Momma laughed and rubbed me between the ears faster than I could duck away. “Go ahead. I’m sure they’ll love the attention.”Grinning, I looked to my friends and put on my best bunny eyes. “Do you want to play too?”“You are so immature,” Amaryllis said. “We should be preparing. We have no idea what we’re going up against.”I gestured to the side where about a dozen little buns were gathered. The tallest only made it to my chin, and that was because his ears were perked right up.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she said.Awen actually looked a little bit eager, which from her meant she was super excited, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the buns. A few of them shied away and hid behind the bigger little buns, but some stood brave and tough at the front.“Hello!” I said. “My name is Broccoli. This is my best friend Awen, my best friend Amaryllis, and my best friend Bastion.”Awen and Amaryllis waved. Bastion managed to look awkward without actually moving.“What is she?” one of the buns asked as he pointed to Amaryllis.“Where’s your ears?” Another asked Awen.“You have wings!” a tiny voice added before a minuscule bun hopped over to stand before Bastion.I grinned. “One question at a time, please. We only have a bit of time, and if everyone goes all at once, then we won’t be able to answer everything.”The buns, all save the little one staring up at Bastion with big soulful eyes, huddled up in a big bun bunch, ears bumping together as they whispered and came up with a plan. I knew they’d come up with something when the net of fluffy ears bounced up and down as they all nodded.One of the buns, a girl with mud on her cheeks and stained overalls came to stand before us. She was one of the taller ones, with knobby elbows covered in plasters and one of her ears was bent down the middle with a muddy bandage wrapped around it.She looked like a real tough rascal.I wanted to hug her.“What’s your name, sweetie?” I asked.The girl puffed up and looked up at me, jaw set and eyes brimming with determination. “I’m Sammie. The others el-elec... they voted me the one that’s gonna ask you questions and stuff.”“Well then, Sammie, ask away!”Sammie nodded, then pointed to all of my friends. “What’s up with all of them? They people from elsewhere like Momma talks about?”“Yup,” I said. “I’m from elsewhere too, you know, even farther than all of my friends here.”“Yeah? So where’re you from?”“Canada,” I said. “That’s a long ways away.”“That a village?” she asked.I nodded after a moment. “It means that, yeah.”The girl nodded right back and crossed her arms. “That’s alright. What about them?”I gestured to Awen. “Awen is a human from Mattergrove,” I said. “There’s a whole desert near there, and lots of people.”The girl tilted her head in time with the entire bunch of buns. “Are these three good folk? Cause Momma said some folk ain’t good and some are, but she never said how to tell easy.”“They’re very nice people,” I said. “This is Amaryllis, she’s a harpy from the Harpy Mountains.”“That’s a dumb name,” Sammie said.Amaryllis puffed up. “And you’re a dumb child.”The girl snorted. “That’s like if we called our village the bun village. It’s not imag— imagine... It ain’t creative.”Amaryllis glared and leaned forwards, so I grabbed her by the scruff of her jacket and pulled her back. “Just a kid,” I muttered low enough that only she could hear me.Sammie’s big ears twitched and she gave me a pout worthy of a cheek-pinching.“Ah, right,” I said, as if none of that had happened. “This is Bastion, he’s a sylph from the Sylphfree mountains, way up in the north.”“Alright,” Sammie said. “So what’re you four doin’ here, and can we play on your ship?”“We’re on an adventure,” I said. “And not right now, but maybe later? I’d have to ask Clive.... But maybe we could give you a tour?”My heart almost melted at the dozens of big hopeful eyes staring at me.“Ah, well... maybe we should make a big thing of it? Do you have any other little friends that would like to join?” I asked. There were a few nods. “Then go fetch them and come meet us at the Beaver!A few of the buns took off, hopping away with little skips like spooked rabbits. They were surprisingly fast.“You really gonna let us onto your boat?” Sammie asked.I nodded. “Sure. His name is the Beaver Cleaver, by the way. The friendliest ship on all of Dirt.”Awen tugged at my sleeve and I turned to look her way. “Awa, having the kids on board is okay, but we’ll have to be careful. Some things are dangerous.”“We ain’t dumb,” Sammie said. “Most of us have weapons and stuff at home. We know to listen when the old folk tell us not to touch something.”I nodded then leaned forwards a little to be at Sammie’s level. “I might need your help anyway. You and all the bigger little ones. Can you keep an eye on the smaller little ones? Make sure no one gets hurt? The Beaver is a nice ship, but he’s got some bits that can be a little dangerous.”Sammie nodded. “Sure thing,” she said. “So, you the captain?”“Yup! Captain Broccoli, at your service.”“You’re a bit weird, but you’re alright,” Sammie said.My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. “I’m gonna hug you, alright?”“Aww, dangit,” Sammie said a moment before I squished her to my chest. “I’m too old for hugs!”“That’s not true!” I said as I let go. “You’re younger than me, and I’m not too old for hugs yet.”Amaryllis snorted and I ignored her.I grabbed Sammie’s little dirt-stained hands. “Now come on, we don’t have all that long before we need to head out, so we ought to start sooner rather than later.”“Alright, alright,” Sammie said. She might have been grumpy, but her ears and widdle tail were twitching with excitement.I was going to show all the little buns of Hopsalot just how awesome me and my friends were!
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