Cinnamon Bun
Annotation
The world called out for a hero to purge it of a great evil. It received Broccoli Bunch, explorer, expert cleaner, occasional ghost-buster, and full time Cinnamon Bun.
Features include:
Talking enemies into becoming friends Hugging menu boxes Awesome overpowered skills (such as Cleaning, and Gardening)Wholesome litRPG mechanics And more adventure than you could shake a stick at!
Follow Broccoli on her personal quest to make all the friends. All of them.
Updates: Monday, Wednesday, Friday!
Now Available in ebook and paperback formats here:
Volume One — Amazon
Volume Two — Amazon
Cinnamon Bun
Maps and Art
Chapter Zero — A Call to Adventure
Chapter One — Like You've Seen a Ghost
Chapter Two — Who You Gonna Call?
Chapter Three — Crime Spree
Chapter Four — Dusting Off History
Chapter Five — An Insightful Afternoon
Chapter Six — Armoured and Ready
Chapter Seven — Grave
Chapter Eight — A Look into the Past
Chapter Nine — Dungeon Dive
Chapter Ten — Mushroom Hop
Chapter Eleven — Wearing Many Hats
Chapter Twelve — Tea Time
Chapter Thirteen — Off With Her Head
Chapter Fourteen — A Very High Cinnamon Bun
Chapter Fifteen — The Last One Smiling
Chapter Sixteen — Ready Check
Chapter Seventeen — The Road Untraveled
Chapter Eighteen — Pick a Pixie
Chapter Nineteen — Blue Skies
Chapter Twenty — A Ribbiting Meeting
Chapter Twenty-One — Tiny Fish Huge Pond
Chapter Twenty-Two — A Long Talk Off a Short Pier
Chapter Twenty-Three — Friendmaking
Chapter Twenty-Four — Rockstack
Chapter Twenty-Five — The Hop On Inn
Chapter Twenty-Six — Selling for a Bargain
Chapter Twenty-Seven — Planting the Seeds of a Quest
Chapter Twenty-Eight — JourneyBun
Chapter Twenty-Nine — Mad Hare
Chapter Thirty — A Very Handsome Tree
Chapter Thirty-One — In Which Broccoli Gives the Locals Weaponry
Sidestory Announcement — Oak: A Tree's Quest
Chapter Thirty-Two — Hop on Out
Chapter Thirty-Three — The First Step in a Short Journey
Chapter Thirty-Four — The Embers of Magic
Chapter Thirty-Five — A Spark in the Night
Chapter Thirty-Six — I Just Want to Set the World on Fire
Chapter Thirty-Seven — Let me Level With You
Chapter Thirty-Eight — Port Royal
Chapter Thirty-Nine — Guild Me Up, Buttercup
Chapter Forty — An Offer
Chapter Forty-One — Booksie
Chapter Forty-Two — Sorry for Harpy Rocking
Chapter Forty-Three — The Silver Boot
Chapter Forty-Four — A Step Around the Boot
Chapter Forty-Five — Upskirt Down
Chapter Forty-Six — A Slimey Situation
Chapter Forty-Seven — Mud and Bone
Chapter Forty-Eight — A Good Boy
Chapter Forty-Nine — Rift
Chapter Fifty — Ambush
Chapter Fifty-One — Fetching Help
Chapter Fifty-Two — Hard to Ignore
Chapter Fifty-Three — Buntimidation
Chapter Fifty-Four — The Return
Chapter Fifty-Five — Revelations
Chapter Fifty-Six — Dreaming Big
Chapter Fifty-Seven — Pomf
Chapter Fifty-Eight — Opportunity Comes Kicking
Chapter Fifty-Nine — LORD ABRAHAM BRISTLECONE!
Chapter Sixty — Pretty Dresses
Chapter Sixty-One — Spending the Night Inn
Chapter Sixty-Two — The Dungeon Book
Chapter Sixty-Three — The Shady Lady
Chapter Sixty-Four — Physical Manakinesis
Chapter Sixty-Five — Storytime
Chapter Sixty-Six — A Place to Park Airships
Chapter Sixty-Seven — Fairness
Chapter Sixty-Eight — A Cure for Hysteria and Loneliness
Chapter Sixty-Nine — Matters of Nobility
Chapter Seventy — In Which Broccoli Kidnaps the Cute
Chapter Seventy-One — Friendship is Magical
Chapter Seventy-Two — The Adventurer Look
Chapter Seventy-Three — Denying Moronity
Chapter Seventy-Four — Dibs on Petting
Chapter Seventy-Five — Flower Picking
Chapter Seventy-Six — How Droll
Chapter Seventy-Seven — The Best Pack
Chapter Seventy-Eight — Glasslighting
Chapter Seventy-Nine — Happy Dance
Chapter Eighty — Path of Broken Reflections
Chapter Eighty-One — In Case of Puzzle, Break Glass
Chapter Eighty-Two — Casus Bellyache
Chapter Eighty-Three — There's No Sense Crying Over Every Mistake
Chapter Eighty-Four — Psychohazard
Chapter Eighty-Five — Funhouse
Chapter Eighty-Six — Broccoli On Ice
Chapter Eighty-Seven -Trouble in Parad-ice!
Chapter Eighty-Eight — Wyvern
Chapter Eighty-Nine — Down to Earth
Chapter Ninety — Cleanup
Chapter Ninety-One — Core Values
Chapter Ninety-Two — Making Friends at the Next Level
Chapter Ninety-Three — Buzzy Bee Boogie
Chapter Ninety-Four — Dance Dance Beevolution
Chapter Ninety-Five — Dungeon Known As...
Chapter Ninety-Six — The Rusty Raven
Chapter Ninety-Seven — Enter the Dragon
Chapter Ninety-Eight — Bun of Her Word
Chapter Ninety-Nine — What is a Normal Adventurer?
Chapter One Hundred — No Strings Attached
Chapter One Hundred and One — Evolution
Chapter One Hundred and Two — Bounce Back
Bonus Chapter: The Other Possibilities
Chapter One Hundred and Three — The Lowest Low
Chapter One Hundred and Four — The Bun in the Arena
Chapter One Hundred and Five — Altering the Deal
Chapter One Hundred and Six — Git Good
Cinnamon Bun Art Contest!
Chapter One Hundred and Seven — Bringing a Knife to a Chair Fight
Chapter One Hundred and Eight — Buff Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Nine — Civility
Chapter One Hundred and Ten — Losing is Fun
Chapter One Hundred and Eleven — Seize the Date
Chapter One Hundred and Twelve — Teach a Dragon To Fish...
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen — And Also a Dragon
Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen — Third Wheeling
Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen — Dragon Rider of Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen — Momma
Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen — Failing The Bechdel Test, but With Dragons
Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen — Breaking Fast
Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen — Morepoles
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty — Into the Scumways
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One — Gangsta Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two — Interrogations
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three — An Old Name
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four — Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Five — Bad Implications
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Six — War Talk
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven — A Poet, and Also a Dragon
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Eating Out
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Oblivious
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty — Hoping For a Better Tomorrow
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-One — Fast Travel
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Two — Harping on Friendship
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Three — Of Course You Realize this Maybe War
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four — Family Matters Matter
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five — Great Balls of Fire
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six — Relationship of Fools
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Sugar and Spice
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Avianation
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Nine — The Party Boat is Already Split
Chapter One Hundred and Forty — Repetition is the Mother of All Learning
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-One — Broccoli is to Ceremony as Bulls are to China Shops
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Two — He’s a Real Fixer-Upper
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Three — Wear Your Sunshine on Your Ship
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Four — La Vogue de la Résistance
Cinnamon Bun Traditions!
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Five — The Patrician's Armor
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six — Forewarned is Foreworn
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven — In Which Broccoli Gets to Wear Many Hats
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Eight — Clearing the Air
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine — Prelude to Disaster
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty — A Canadian Riftwalker in the Harpies' Court
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-One — Once is Happenstance, Twice is Enemy Action
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two — Peace Through Overwhelming Friendpower
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Three — Just Remember: Everything is Illegal
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Four — It's a Good Day to Dine
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Five — Panic at the Ball
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Six — Plotting
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Adventure Waits for No Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Smooth Sailing
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Geomagnetic Wandering
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty — You're Grounded, Young Lady
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-One — You Can See The Forest Because the Trees Are Chopped Down
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Two — Dine Another Day
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Three — Hello Darkwoods, My Old Friend
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Four — Tree Time
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Five — Negotreeations
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Six — Diplomatree II: Treety Harder
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Peace For Our Time
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Shore Leave
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Rebels Without (Much of) a Cause
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy — The Pirate's Lair
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-One — Oh, The Small Manatee
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Two — Fetching Help II: Re-Re-Kidnapping
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Three — No Plan, Just Survive Contact With the Enemy
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Four — Chaos and Anarchy and Other Sorts of Fun
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Five — Jumping Ship
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Six — Picking Up Strays
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Double-Time
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Untoxication
The Friendship Circle of Very Nice Girls — Part V
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Learning About the Feet of the Master
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty — The Parable of the Baker Knight
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-One — Casting a Shadow Over Insmouth
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Two — Shopping With the Fishes
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Three — Hop Along to Hopsalot
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Four — The Village Hidden in the Leaves
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Five — Grandmomma's Hug
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Six — Ready to do Violence on Their Behalf
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Cuter Than a Bun's Ear
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Walking Songs
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Super Smash Bunnies Melee
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety — Deadweight
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-One — Please Be Quiet in the Library
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Two — Maid it Out Alive
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Three — Clean the Walking Dead
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Four — The Dead on Their Feet
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Five — Buddy System
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Six — Matchmaking 101 With Momma
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Ashes to Ashes
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Everybuny was Draugr Fighting
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Nine — Ashes, Ashes, They All Fall Down
Chapter Two Hundred — Stronghold Stranglehold
Stray Bun Art Contest!
Chapter Two Hundred and One — Grassroots Campaign
Chapter Two Hundred and Two — Heart of Darkness
Chapter Two Hundred and Three — Do Science To It
Chapter Two Hundred and Four — Immune System
Chapter Two Hundred and Five — Victory Sleep
Chapter Two Hundred and Six — Home Again, Home Again
Chapter Two Hundred and Seven — Reciprocation
Chapter Two Hundred and Eight — Dine Hard
Chapter Two Hundred and Nine — Not the Hero We Need, But Not the Hero We Deserve
Chapter Two Hundred and Ten — Read The Mood
Chapter Two Hundred and Eleven — The Prisoner's Dilemma
Chapter Two Hundred and Twelve — Mist Opportunities
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirteen — Toadbreakers
Chapter Two Hundred and Fourteen — Planning Commitea
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifteen — Un Mist Takeable
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixteen — Imposter Syndrome
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventeen — Colourless Green Ideas Slither Furiously
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighteen — Inquiring Mind Wants to Know
Chapter Two Hundred and Nineteen — Guilt
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty — The Buck Stops Here
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-One — The Dread Cute-ulu
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Two — Down With the Boss
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Three — A True Captain
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Four — Celebrating the Good Things
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Five — A Happy Sort of Busy
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Six — Skills and Levels and Stats, Oh My!
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Seven — A Huffy Afternoon
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Eight — The Great Grey Wall
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Armour Up
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty — A Cry
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-One — A Crysis
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Two — Befriend Them with Lasers
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Three — Warning: Rocket Launch Detected
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Four — Ack-Ack
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Five — Cross-cultural Xenopsychology 101
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Six — LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS!
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Seven — People Come Here to Be Forgotten
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Towerhidden
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Nine — They're Going the Distance!
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty — Cry Havoc, And Let Slip the Lasers of War
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-One — Islanding
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Two — A Tale of Two Prison Colonies
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Three — Sanity Check
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Four — Intercepted
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Five — Buniver's Travels
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Six — Paladin Business
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Seven — Dam It All
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Eight — Diggy Diggy Hole
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Nine — Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better (Except for Hugs)
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty — Chain of Command
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-One — On the Back Foot
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Two — Move Fast and Break Things
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Three — Granite Springs Calls For Aid
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Four — Joint Strike Fighters
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Five — Snakes Are a Pain
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Six — Saint Bastion and the Dragon
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Quarry
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Eight — The Melancholy of Broccoli Bunch
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Ironclad Hugs
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty — Captain's Logs
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-One — Airtime Naptime
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Two — Final Destination
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Three — See Ya Later!
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Four — Game of Groans
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Five — Out Over the Town
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Six — The Guildhouse
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Lost and Found in Translation
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Taking a Friendtrip
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Royaltea
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy — Okay-Authoritarian
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-One — Fortress of Knowledge
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two — Chivalry Isn't Dead
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Three — Knight of the Feather Duster
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Four — Hot Springs Episode
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Five — Casus Antibelli
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Six — Have You Tried Asking?
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Haystack
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Disorder in the Port
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Ganging Up
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty — Jailbirds
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-One — How to Win Friends and Influence People
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Two — Finally Playing Tourist
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Three — Are You Trying to Get Arrested
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Four — The Honourable Judge Bunch, Presiding
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Five — Into Thin Air
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Six — Warhawk
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Political Ramblings and Rumblings
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Eight — You've Gotta Right to Your Fights
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Say Hello to My Little Friends
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety — Don't Cut Yourself On All These Edges
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-One — I'm Not Touching You!
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Two — Sandblasting
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Three — Blitzkrieg
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Four — To the Victor, the Spoils
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Five — In This Solemn Hour
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Six — Dawn of a New Day
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Hugs and Wishes
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Free Action
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Nine — My Bunny Sense Is Tingling
Chapter Three Hundred — The World is Diseased, And I Alone Can Cure It
Chapter Three Hundred and One — True Colours
Chapter Three Hundred and Two — Someone Set Up Us the Bomb
Chapter Three Hundred and Three — Out of the Dark
Chapter Three Hundred and Four — Royal Expositioner
Chapter Three Hundred and Five — Alea Iacta Quest
Chapter Three Hundred and Six — Dine Hard with a Vengeance
Chapter Three Hundred and Seven — Hiring a Professional Cleaner
Chapter Three Hundred and Eight — Away
Chapter Three Hundred and Nine — Weedbane the Dandelion Slayer
Chapter Three Hundred and Ten — The Knights of the Long Rest
Chapter Three Hundred and Eleven — A Full Bedspread
Chapter Three Hundred and Twelve — Lay Them to Rest
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirteen — Knightlight
Chapter Three Hundred and Fourteen — Unbearable Arms
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifteen — Childish Fears Grow Up to become Adult Fears
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixteen — Past Tense
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventeen — Counting Sheep
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighteen — Sheepish
Chapter Three Hundred and Nineteen — Nightie Knight
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty — The Root of the Matter
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-One — Uprooted
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Two — Sizing Up the Future
Chapter Three hundred and Twenty-Three — Adventurers For Hire
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Four — Broccoli & Friends Mercenary Company
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Five — Early to Bed and Early to Rise
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Six — Introductions are in Order
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Flight of the Wyverns
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Successful Insertion
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Campground Ladies
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty — Smother
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-One — Fortune Seeker
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Two — Meat New People
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Three — Catching Up
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Four — Our Little Ponies
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Five — Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Six — Crash Scene Investigators
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Piracy in the High Skies
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Abandoned Ship
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Finders Keepers
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty — Redemption Arc
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-One — A Little Bird Told Me
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Two — Message Delivered
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Three — Hopping the Border
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Four — The Golden Gold Inn of Goldpass
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Five — Diplomats in Distress
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Six — Fusion Mode
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Seven — Provisioning
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Eight — Onto the River and Through the Woods
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Nine — Food for Thought
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty — The Amazing Spidermom
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-One — Mutually Assured Hugging
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Two — With Catlike Tread
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Three — Octagon
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Four — Piracy's a Crime and Crime Doesn't Pay
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Five — Prisoner Swap
Spookimon Boo-n!
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Six — Employee Retention
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Upper Management
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Eight — The Enemy Always Gets a Vote
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Nine — The Great Escape
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty — Pirate Property
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-One — Bite the Gust
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Two — If the Enemy is in Superior Strength, Evade Them
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Three — Booked for the Foreseeable Future
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Four — From Sylphfree With Love
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Five — Cultural Considerations
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Six — The Storm Tower
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Hustle, Bustle, Toil, & Trouble
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Living History
Cinnamon Bun Volume Four is Out!
Cinnamon Bun — Bonus Story: In Which Broccoli Scares Some Children
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Passing the Torch
Broccoli Claus
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy — Boltbound
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-One — Stop, Drop, and Shop
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Two — Facial Hare
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Three — Dress-Up Games
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Four — Late to Bed and Late to Rise
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Five — Abomination Against Engineering and Good Sense
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Six — Doorbuster
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Moral Fiber
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Pay for It
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Polite Friction
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty — The Wedding Trackers
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-One — Beauty and the Dragon
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Two — Southbound
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Three — Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Four — Small Town Charm
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Five — The Go Fish Inn
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Six — Here's a Story About a Little Town That Lives in a Blue World
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Seven — They Held the Line
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Moth-er of All Adventures
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Antipathy
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety — The Class Struggle is Real
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-One — Ramp Up
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Two — Upper Levels
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Three — First-Person Platformer
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Four — Broccoli vs Mothra
Meanwhile, the sidekicks
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Five — Cutting Edge Cleaning
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Six — Core Strength
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Live Free and Dine Hard
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Visitors
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Nine — The Little Cheese of Airship Inspections
Chapter Four Hundred — Inn to the City
Chapter Four Hundred and One — Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Chapter Four Hundred and Two — Sailor-Suited Soldiers of Love and Justice!
Chapter Four Hundred and Three — Artful Debate
Chapter Four Hundred and Four — Mushy
Chapter Four Hundred and Five — Social Networking
Chapter Four Hundred and Six — Bookmouse
Chapter Four Hundred and Seven — Off the Books
Chapter Four Hundred and Eight — Ghost Stories
Cinnamon Bun Volume Five is Out!
Chapter Four Hundred and Nine — The Phantom of the Bookshop
Chapter Four Hundred and Ten — Booking it After Negotiating
Chapter Four Hundred and Eleven — Charting a Course
Chapter Four Hundred and Twelve — Sunset Over Smoulderglen
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirteen — Captain's Duty
Chapter Four Hundred and Fourteen — Can You Say Uncle
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifteen — The Old Man and the Sky
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixteen — Talking Shop
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventeen — Race Against Time
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighteen — Reluctantly Crouched at the Starting Line
Chapter Four Hundred and Nineteen — Reckless and Wild, they Pour Through the Turns
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty — Speed Through the Finish
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-One — No Trophies, No Flowers, No Flashbulbs, but at Least there's W
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Two — Sunrise Over Smoulderglen
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Three — Awake at the Witching Hour
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Four — A Pirate's Life for Thee, But Not for Me
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Five — Full Broadside
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Six — There is Only Open Fire and Reload
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Acidic Reaction
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Adrenaline Crash
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Last Leg
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty — Balancing the Budget
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-One — Bookseeking
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Two — Friends Like These
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Three — Uncertainty Principle
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Four — Ribbon Me This
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Five — Let's Not Jump to Conclusions
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Six — Draw the Party Line
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Daytrip
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Return of the Bun
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Planning Ahead
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty — Modern Draconic Monetary Theory
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-One — The Crack of Dawn
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Two — Fetching Help III: The Helpening
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Three — Never Steal from a Dragon's Hoard
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Four — Recall
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Five — Find One to Find Another
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Six — Psychoanalysis
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Seven — Id
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Eight — Ego
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Nine — Superego
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty — Fishing for Information
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-One — Personality Quiz
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Two — If You See Something, Say Something
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Three — Social Fu
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Four — Broccoli Wants You!
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Five — Charge of the Bun's Brigade
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Six — Booksie's Angels
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Two for the Price of One
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Tails from a Faraway Land
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Plopped Back
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty — Speedrunners
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-One — Motivating Factors
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Two — Affection
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Three — Broccoli Moneybags
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Four — Welcome Aboard
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Five — Wake Up and Smell the Eggs
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Six — Operation Level-Up
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Bright the Next Morning, With Noisy Commotion
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Get On the Same Page
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Dragon Escort
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy — Whet Your Appetite
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-One — Have Your Day in Court
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Two — All You Can't Eat
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Three — Recipe for Success
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Four — Judgement Day
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Five — Take Us to the Next Level
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Six — Begone, Troublemakers
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Like Shooting Fish with a Dragon
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Eight — There Were More Fish Than Expected
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Nine — List Your Strengths
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty — Public Comment Period
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-One — Scratch That
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Two — Get a Second Opinion
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Three — The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Buns
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Four — Zap Zap
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Five — Money Talks
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Six — Where Do Babies Come From?
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Seven — This Sounds Like a Job for Broccoli's Bunch
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Get Your Stuff Together
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Several-Day Trip
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety — Sanity Splash Damage
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-One — Let Them Eat Fruitcake
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Two — Taking Your Leader with Me
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Three — Effigy
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Four — The Binding of Aberrforth
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Five — Love is Being Stupid
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Six — The Unnatural Power of Love
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Old History
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Hold Up
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Nine — Overhead Lightning
Chapter Five Hundred — World of Darkness — Bun of Light
Chapter Five Hundred and One — For Want of a Thousand Nails
Chapter Five Hundred and Two — Choice Paralysis
Chapter Five Hundred and Three — Core Weakness
Chapter Five Hundred and Four — Lighter
Chapter Five Hundred and Five — Sympathy for the Monster
Chapter Five Hundred and Six — That's So Metal
Chapter Five Hundred and Seven — Crimes Against Our Sanity
Chapter Five Hundred and Eight — Bridal Wail
Chapter Five Hundred and Nine — Addressing Problems
Chapter Five Hundred and Ten — Chief of Vendors
Chapter Five Hundred and Eleven — Proactively Circling Back to See if We Moved the Needle
Awen's Halloween Special
Chapter Five Hundred and Twelve — Cleaning Up the Remainder
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirteen — Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful
Chapter Five Hundred and Fourteen — Golden Moment
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifteen — The Big Day
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixteen — Vows
Chapter Five Hundred and Seventeen — Congratulations are in Order
Chapter Five Hundred and Eighteen — Post I-Dos
Chapter Five Hundred and Nineteen — Something Wicked
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty — Mystery Box
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-One — Time and Bride Wait for No Bun
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Two — A New Chapter in Your Life
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Three — Looking a Gift Book in the Mouth
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Four — Master of Her Craft
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Five — Time to Hit the Books
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Six — Broccoli Bunch and the Search for the Public Library
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Head-to-Head Search Algorithm Comparison
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Let the Record Show
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Nine — I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, For Poutine
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty — Well, If It Isn't the Consequences of Caprica's Own Actions
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-One — The Third Stage of Grief
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Two — 5«
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Three — The Scenic Route
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Four — The Rest is History
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Five — A Man Out of Time
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Six — The Devil's in the Account Details
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Unpublishable
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Fortress of Solitude
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Our Separate Ways
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty — Love Matters
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-One — Go West Young Bun
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Two — Come Here Alive
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Three — Come Here, it's Dry
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Four — Come Here and Die
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Five — Come Here and Buy
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Six — Come Here and Fly (Away)
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Seven — All Friends Forever
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Eight — Water in the Desert
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Nine — All Four One Formation
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty — Slow on the Uptake
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-One — Become the Hunter
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Two — I Have the High Sky
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Three — Mutual Debate of Ownership Philosophy
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Four — Escape Velocity
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Five — Live to Tell the Tale
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Six — Edge of an Empire
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Outside Context People
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Lunch and Learn
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Upskill
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty — Social Skills
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-One — Some Wings for a Miss
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Two — Year of the Bun
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Three — Anchors Aweigh
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Four — Doesn't Look Like Much
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Five — Local News
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Six — No Redshirts Allowed
Cinnamon Bun
Maps and Art
The known world as mapped by the explorers of the Exploration Guild. Funded by the Kingdom of Deepmarsh.
Cities and points of interest on the Great Northern Continent of Dirt.
The Darkwoods and the Royal Outpost of Rockstack.
Deepmarsh North and the Deering Cross into the Trenten Flats.
The Darkwoods and Mattergrove East
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
Needleford and Surroundings
The Grey Wall
Fanart!
By Zoufii
by Albreo
By Melsa
By Amnih, Commissioned by Ruby Boule
The Beaver Cleaver, by Albreo
Tim Bun-ton, by lilylil, a commission from Ruby Boule!
Broccoli Bunch, by Thor Bueno!
Chapter Zero — A Call to Adventure
I was always the sort of girl that looked for the call to adventure, be it in real life or between the pages of a book. So when my time came, I jumped on it.It all began one fine morning in math class. I was leaning forwards on my desk, elbows down and eyes on the board where our teacher was explaining something about geometric series. It wasn’t my favourite teacher and it was certainly not my favourite subject, but I wanted to keep my grades up all the same. I only had a few months to go before high school was over, and then the whole world was going to open up.A low sound rang out. Sort of like a cowbell being dropped from the top of a skyscraper into a fifty-five gallon drum.I jumped in my seat and looked around, but all I found were a few students and friends looking at me curiously. I smiled sheepishly and got some grins in return.I was about to ask if they had heard the bong noise whenitappeared before me. A box, thin and nearly translucent, held in the air by nothing at all and with a simple request on it.Bong!A great evil has set its root in the world. You are called upon to save it! Do you accept this quest?There were two boxes below that, one labelled ‘I accept’ the other ‘I refuse.’ I tilted my head to the side, the box following the motion, then whipped my head to the other side of the desk only for it to glide back to the centre of my vision.I held back a smile. It couldn’t be real.“Hey,” I whispered to the girl next to me. “Do you see that?”She followed the direction my finger was pointing and stared at the boy sitting one row ahead. “His hair?” she asked.So, she couldn’t see the floaty prompt box. I waved off her questioning look and refocused on the box. The box that offered me a quest. The box that had appeared with a sound no one else could hear. The box that I suppose no one could see. My grin was so wide my cheeks were hurting.I considered what my parents would say, but they were both struck with wanderlust and were the ones responsible for my desire to see the world. They would have been tapping the ‘I accept’ box a million times a second by now.Grin firmly in place, I reached out and pressed the ‘I accept’ button.Ding! The world thanks you for your sacrifice!I promptly fell onto my butt.The world had changed in less time than it took to blink. I wasn’t in a sterile classroom anymore with a window overlooking a snowy courtyard or surrounded by about twenty other bored students. No desks, no chairs, no low rumble of distant cars and air exchange systems. Instead, there was birdsong and the croaking of frogs and the gentle murmur of wind through trees.I hopped to my feet and looked around. I was in a room still. Most of a room. An ex-room. The floor was paved with large flat stones slotted into each other, and the walls were made of a slightly different kind of stone with thick wooden beams running up to the ceiling above.Tables that had rotted away were left lying around next to crushed chairs and piles of mulch that might have been leaves once. The entire room stank of mold and rot. It reminded me of camping out in the woods when I was a little younger.Most of one wall was entirely missing.“Whoa,” I said as I moved as close to the edge as I dared.It was immediately obvious that I was in a tower of some sort, one that rose a level or two above the treeline of the forest beyond. Trees stretched out as far as the eye could see, a sea of swaying green treetops that rose and fell with the dip and rises of the landscape. In the distance was a grey blur that might have been a mountain range that swept into the horizon.I couldn’t see any lakes or rivers, but could hear the nearby gurgle of water splashing against stones. Maybe the tower’s other side was against the ocean or a river or something. I couldn’t tell, and in that moment it didn’t matter.The giddiness rose up in my tummy like an overflowing well, and it burst out as a happy giggle.“Yes! Yes! Yes!” I shouted to the heavens as I started jumping around the room, arms waving in the air with every cheer. “I made it! I get adventures and dragons and princesses!”I ran in little circles while giggling and might have boogied down a little, shaking my hips as happy energy coursed through my veins.“Woo! This is going to be awesome!” My scream sent birds flying into the air all in a flutter.A bell sounded, light and tinkling, like crystal chimes being struck together.Ding! For Completing a Special Action while Devoid of Classes, you have unlocked a new Class!My breathing hitched, but if anything the core of excitement in my gut only grew bigger. “A class,” I whispered.Ding! You are now aCinnamon Bun!Health + 5Stamina +10Mana +5Resilience +10Flexibility +10Magic +5“Really?” I asked the prompt, but its only response was to fade away.The tropes and stereotypes of a game weren’t new to me, of course, but I had never heard of a class called Cinnamon Bun. I had eaten some of those before, in fact, and they certainly didn’t taste like something someone could be. But maybe this world was different. Ihopedthat this world was different.With dragons and elves and monsters of all sorts! I would be able to grow strong and tough and I’d meet a dragon and ride it into battle and maybe have tea with some dwarves and I was getting ahead of myself...There was usually some menu or status page in the books that I’d read. And so thinking, my mind was flooded with information. Not very much, but some facts and figures and a sort of... memory of a screen. “Whoa.”
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
0
Age
16
Health
105
Stamina
110
Mana
105
Resilience
15
Flexibility
15
Magic
10
Skills
Rank
N/A
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.“So cool!” This, of course, prompted more happy dancing. I had a class and an empty skills list and a bunch of numbers that meant more than anything I had worked on in maths class. Also,Magic.I didn’t know what some of them meant, but it didn’t matter! I had them and they were mine! A bit of a push and the box with my status and all appeared before my very eyes. I hugged it.Or, well, I tried to hug it. The box kept juking out of hug reach, even when I started laughing and skipping after it. It was a good box and good boxes deserved all the hugs. Then, with a soap-bubble like pop, the box disappeared.“Okay, okay, Broc, calm yourself,” I said between still escaping giggles. A few deep breaths helped to chill me out. I wanted to sit down, to inspect my super cool new stats and maybe to skip some more because I felt brilliant.Unfortunately, the tower’s floor was a mess. Tables ruined, chairs, all save for one rickety thing in the corner, all busted up. There was a shovel with a flat head leaning against one wall though, and an ancient broom with bristles made from some plant or another.If I wanted to have a rest, this wasn’t the place for it, not unless I cleaned it up a little.The only exit to the room was behind a stack of fallen stones, each one looking as if they weighed as much as I did.I pulled up the only seat that looked able to take my weight, then wiped its surface clean.Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill:Cleaning!I laughed. A skill! A silly, rather boring skill, but maybe one that would help. It would help even more if I grinded a little, and I did like cleaning.Nodding to myself, I picked up the broom and shovel and got to work. First making sure that the ground below the opening in the wall was clear of anyone or anything, then I started shovelling up the dead leaves and pushing them out.A bit of grunting and some sweating had the broken tables busted up even more and stacked up neatly off to one side. The moldier bits I tossed out. Maybe I would have to build a fire later. Not that I had a lighter or matches, but I could make do.Then came the sweeping. I swiped at the cobwebs in the corners, swept the floor clean and even dusted off the one usable chair I found.Every so often I felt a whisper of a ‘ding’ in the back of my mind, like a distant noise that was just barely audible. A quick bit of focusing revealed that it was my Cleaning skill rising up, and quickly at that.Probably because of its low level, I decided.Soon enough the room was as clean as it would be. The mold brushed off the walls with more enthusiasm than skill, the floors swept, the broken furniture sorted and a small table and chair arranged to one side where I could sit down and relax.I sighed as I flopped onto my seat, the old wood creaking under my weight but not breaking. “Classes!” I decided. That’s where I would start.First Class: Cinnamon BunLevel 0You are the Cinnamon Bun. Too good for this world. Too pure. You are the perfect support and friend to all. Nature itself smiles upon you.Cleanse this world of its impurities in the name of love and justice!I snorted. That wasn’t the most helpful description I’d ever seen. Too pure? Well, that... okay, so maybe I was a little naive, sometimes, all of my friends said so, and everyone was my friend. But the Class description didn’t have to be so smug about it. Also, First Class, which meant that I could maybe unlock a second at some point. Dragon Rider class, here I come!The Cleaning skill sort of made sense if it was tied to some sort of class ability to cleanse things.Maybe it was a class that was good against the undead? I certainly hoped so! Seeing a walking skeleton would be creepy. Unless it was a nice gentlemanly skeleton, in which case that was alright.It wasn’t okay to mock or judge others because of their appearance after all.Humming to myself, I focused on my Cleaning Skill instead.CleaningRank F — 90%The ability to clean. As this skill rises in level your ability to Clean will improve!“Well, okay.” That was utterly underwhelming. Still, maybe as I got better at it I would be able to keep myself and the world around me clean too! It was worth it!I stretched in my new seat then hopped off. It wasn’t time for sitting back and relaxing. It was time to do stuff! First I had a bunch of things to test out!Trying to figure out if I had an inventory of some sort was fruitless. No amount of shouting ‘inventory!’ amounted to anything. Then I looked for a handy help menu, but that was absent too. But, after much searching and some head scratching, I found something incredible.You have one (1) Active Quest:The Hole Down UnderAn evil root has plunged into the world. Find it. Remove it.That was it. No waypoints, no hints. Not even a handy-dandy list of rewards. I huffed at the quest box and that was apparently its hint that it wasn’t needed anymore. What even was an evil root?Well, that didn’t matter. Maybe it was the sort of quest that would take a long, long time to accomplish. I didn’t have that luxury. The sum total of my belongings amounted to a pretty blouse I had bought on sale a week ago, a sturdy pair of shoes I liked, a thick cotton skirt that reached to just below the knees and some warm stockings. And of course my underthings.Not even a jacket.Fortunately it was warm wherever I was. So no need for too much warm clothing. Though a blanket would have been nice. Or a towel.I had failed hitchhiking one-oh-one already.Shrugging to myself, I moved to the edge of the hole in the wall and looked down. Two stories from my little nook to the ground, at least judging by the number of windows. The floors looked rather tall. Or maybe that was my newly discovered fear of falling to my death that was talking.A look over to the blocked doorway confirmed that there was no way I was moving the stones there.No ropes, no safety equipment, no easy way down.At least the rocky walls of the tower were rough and had plenty of handholds. It might be possible, easy even, to climb down.Firming up my resolve, I prepared myself to climb over the edge. My first step into a wild new world!
Chapter One — Like You've Seen a Ghost
I swung my foot around, searching for purchase across the stony wall until I felt an outcropping big enough that the toes of my shoe could grab on. Bouncing a few times, I tested my weight and balance on the hold, then gently moved my other foot around while lowering my body.I had been climbing for a whole ten minutes already, and so far my descent had lowered me by maybe six or so feet. It was hard and slow and a little nerve-wracking. Not having any ropes was the worst part of it.My original goal had been to climb all the way to the bottom, but there was a window a whole lot closer to the ground and it didn’t seem to be blocked by anything, any frame it might have held long gone.Crossing my fingers — metaphorically, because if I let go of the wall I would go splat-I hoped that there would be a way to move down the tower from within.It was some long, sweaty work, with the sun straight above and beaming down on my head, but I managed to make it close enough to the side of the window to peek inside.The room was a mess, with large wooden racks toppled over and part of the floor, wooden this time, burned though. Still, other than a few cobweb-weaving spiders there wasn’t much to see.I stepped on the window sill and crouched down before placing one foot on the floor. It held my weight with no creaking or bouncing, so I hopped down. I had made it! The door to this room was a splintered mess on the ground, as if someone had burst through in a hurry, and I could kind of guess why.This was an armory. There were racks for armour off to one side, with a few scraps of cloth and leather left behind.Loot!With an eager giggle I bounced over to the racks and tried picking up some neat looking pauldrons, but the leather was dry and cracked and broke apart almost as soon as I grabbed it. The cloth armour beneath was little better.This place had been abandoned for a long time, I guessed.The racks that had tumbled over looked like they were meant to hold weapons on them, spears or swords. I started toeing around the rubble and a couple of pokes with my foot revealed some spearheads lying on the ground, shafts long gone. The racks were made of sturdier wood, or wood that didn’t rot, maybe.And then I found it.Nearly buried under a pile of wood and coloured nearly the same brown was a sword. Not just any sword, but a huge thing that was longer than my entire armspan.It took plenty of grunting and lifting and some more sweat to yank it out, but soon enough I held my prize before me. The sword was bent in its middle, and the edge was nicked quite badly, and maybe it was a teensy bit very rusted, but I now had a sword!I spun around, sword raised above my head in victory and cheered.“Rwraa,” someone, or something, said.I froze, body going rigid at the sound.I wasn’t alone.Lowering my new sword, I moved towards the door, carefully avoiding the burnt hole in the ground in case I fell through. I tried to move as silently as I could as I poked my head out into a corridor lined with slitted windows on either side. The tower was apparently part of a bigger facility, placed at a corner where two long corridors met. One ended about two dozen meters to my right in a staircase that dropped down, the other passage was blocked by fallen masonry, the light of day shining through the cracks.“Hello?” I asked.“Rrer.”The noise was... a growl? Maybe? It sounded more like the kind of noise I’d make if you were to try and poke me awake. It came from the passage with the stairs.Placing my sword on my shoulder, I moved towards the nearest arrow slit, this one facing the opposite direction from the wall I had scaled down.There was a town!Not a big one. I counted fifteen roofs, most just a little lower than the level I was on, and in bad need of some patchwork. Some looked to have been lit on fire a long time ago, timbers showing past missing roof tiles. The building I was in seemed to be a tall wall that circled all the way around the town, another tower placed on the opposite end from where I was.There was a lot you could tell about people from the kind of house they lived in. All of these had different sorts of shingles, with most of them a sort of dull clay-red. Every house had a chimney and I couldn’t see any wires running from home to home.That confirmed a few things for me. Whoever had lived here was human-sized. The armour helped narrow that down too.I moved on. There would be plenty of time to explore soon. I was certainly looking forward to it!The descent to the next floor down was much easier with steps as opposed to rock climbing. I wholeheartedly approved of steps. The bottom floor was a mess. Old soggy papers turned to mulch on the ground, barely leaving an imprint, stains that I hoped weren’t blood. Lots of signs that there had been a fire.There was an exit, at one time, a sort of archway with a large door in it leading into the village, but it had collapsed. And under the pile of rubble from that collapse was the mysterious stranger making all that noise.I swallowed as I stared at the skeleton stuck under a few choice stones. Glowing eyes fixed onto me and its head and neck wobbled a little, the one arm that wasn’t pinned in place wiggling futilely in my direction. “Rraaer,” it said.The room across from the archway where the skeleton was pinned looked like a sort of office space. Big old desks covered in rotting papers and the tattered remains of a flag on one wall. Another wall had had a hole blown through it, revealing a bunch of beds in neat rows with chests next to them.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.Nothing that could hurt me.“Ah, hi?” I asked.“Rrr,” the skeleton replied. He seemed dead set on hurting me.I held back an inappropriate giggle and moved closer. “Hey there,” I said in the same voice I would use to greet a doggy. “You’re a nice skeleton aren’t you? Yes you are!”“Rraarararrr!” the skeleton replied. He didn’t like that I was coming closer.“So, magic really is real around here,” I said, the giddiness in my tummy returning. “I’m sorry, Mister Skeleton. Didn’t mean to disturb your rest.”I should probably have considered burying the poor thing. It was rather pitiful. Then again, I had yet to explore the rest of the tower. Maybe there was a crypt I could put him in? Or a nice graveyard. I considered using my handy dandy new sword, but Mister Skeleton had never done anything to me.“Is it mister or miss skeleton?” I asked.“Rrr.”“Hmm,” I hummed. “How about Bonesy. Nice and gender, and life, neutral.”“Rraarrara.”“I agree,” I said. “It’s a fine name.” I reached down and patted Bonesy where it couldn’t reach its head. “I’ll be back.”The office was split into two parts. The front more of a reception area of some sort and the back a more private and secluded office. With the little light coming in from the passage where Bonesy was resting it was hard to tell.I searched through the desks, prying drawers open with my Greatsword of Prying +1 but only found rotten knick knacks and some papers that were impossible to read in the low light. I stacked those that looked to be in better shape on the desk nearest the exit.The big office at the back didn’t have much more in it. A few bottles tucked in the desk, still closed and with labels that, when brought to the light, revealed designs of grapes on them. A rusted flask, a dagger that was in even worse shape than my sword.There was a chest behind the desk, in surprisingly good shape, but I couldn’t find a way to open it.I managed to drag it closer to the front, but the effort wasn’t worth it, and my Greatsword of Prying +1 wasn’t tough enough to open the chest. All I managed was to make the tip break off when I tried.Giving up for now, I moved into the barracks.The mattresses were all filled with rotting hay and the entire room stank of mildew. The smell only grew worse when I found a small bathroom of sorts tucked in the back. Each chest was opened and each of them was a disappointment. They were either empty already or the only things within were old and stinky.Worn boots, some cloth that resembled swiss cheese, a few belts that were stiffer than my sword. I did find a few coppery coins that had turned green with verdigris spilling out of a pierced sack, and one chest had a haversack that was in decent shape. It was empty, but that changed as soon as I put my newfound coppery wealth in it.A peek into the bathroom revealed something neat. There was a shower, which confused me until I noticed the stone covered in strange glyphs held by a sort of metal sconce above.Magic showers! Neat.I found a sort of pad on the wall that had a corresponding glyph on it, but pressing did nothing.Pressing and pouting also did nothing. But pressing and pushing with my mind, as if I had to poop really bad, made the glyph above glow and a spray of water came out. It was weak, and lukewarm, and I might have shrieked when it splattered onto my head, but it was water.I wasn’t going to die of dehydration! Yay!The only other thing of interest was a small cupboard filled with cleaning supplies. A mop that didn’t look usable, some clothes that were moth worn but still usable. Another broom and a dustpan and bucket.Well, I already had some levels in cleaning...I weighed the value of cleaning out the old barracks against resuming my explorations. In the end, exploration won out handily.Grinning from ear to ear, I pressed on past Bonesy and down the main corridor inside the wall. A convenient hole in the wall allowed me to squeeze out of the barracks with my haversack and sword in tow.I had a town to explore! If I was lucky I would find some food and a place to rest for later. Maybe some clothes and a way to contact people. Oh, and magical tomes, and ancient swords and of course a bunch of new friends!It was going to be brilliant!I exited behind a stout little house that was squished between two others. There had been a fence behind it, but it was torn apart at some point long ago. I moved around the house, intending to circle the town and see everything before checking in the houses one by one. A map would have been nice, or a Geography for Dummies book in English.Instead, as I rounded the corner of the house and moved into an alleyway, I came face-to-back with a floating, white specter.It was a person, sorta. A hazy image suspended in the air, their clothes fluttering in a wind that I couldn’t feel. I felt colder just watching them. Not a metaphorical cold either.“H-hello! My name is Broccoli, do you want to be friends?” I asked.The ghost turned around slowly, its placid, bored face tilting down to look at me. Then its features turned ugly and it screeched.You have heard the screech of a fearsome creature! Your soul is shaken.I shook. Arms and legs and chest wobbling as the ghost moved in closer, one hand moving back as it got ready to swipe at me.My sword! I remembered my sword and flung the heavy piece of steel at the ghost, only to see it fly through the monster and bounce on the ground behind it. “Oh, shoot. I’m sorry Mister Ghost I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry and oh I don’t want to die, I’m leaving now!”I turned tail and ran.
Chapter Two — Who You Gonna Call?
The ghost followed. It didn’t make a sound, merely floated at a pace that was just a bit faster than walking, its long cloth-like robes fluttering in an invisible wind behind it as it trailed after me. Still, that look on its face, of indescribable rage and anger never faded, and the soft white glow of its eyes locked onto me and didn’t let go.I ran back through the crack in the wall, then back down the passage. I hoped that it wouldn’t follow, but that was dashed when first a hand, then an arm started to push through the wall. The ghost glowed faintly, especially where it was phasing through.Still, the motion slowed it down.“Rarr,” Bonsey said as I stumbled past him and into the office. Something, I needed something to hurt the ghost. I ran out with a bottle of wine that flew through the ghost’s form and smashed against a wall uselessly, the stick-once a chair leg-that I threw next did the same.I looked around, then picked up Bonesy’s head. “Bite him!” I said as I flung the skeletal head at my adversary.Bonesy ‘rawred’ as he flew through the air, then, much to my surprise and that of the ghost, the skeletal head chomped down on the ghost’s face. “Rarg, ragr, rarre,” Bonesy said as he chewed.I stared, then it clicked. Bonesy was magic. Magic worked on ghosts. It was all rather obvious.Running into the barracks, I passed the beds and moved into the bathroom. The showerhead glyph was stuck in a metallic basket above, one that wasn’t meant to be pried out of the wall, but I had desperation on my side. It came off with a clang and crunch, leaving me with a rusty metal basket and a magical, faintly luminescent stone in it that was still dripping water onto the ground.The ghost had freed itself from Bonesy’s mouthy grasp but not without suffering from my boney friend’s cruel ministrations. There were tears in its ghostly form, and whitish vapour was pouring out of it.I edged closer to the ghost, hoping to slip by it, but the evil-no-good monster blocked my path and spread its arms out as if to give me the deadest hug ever.“I’m sorry!” I said as I held the showerhead before me. “I just wanted to say hi.”The ghost didn’t care, he, it, just advanced on me.I clocked it in the jaw with my magical showerhead.The ghost wavered in the air, its face distorted, the anger turned to pain for a moment before returning tenfold. It swiped at me, but I ducked and moved so that a bed was between us. Its next swipe clawed through the mattress with ease.“I’m really sorry,” I said again as I moved up to the ghost and swiped through its entire body with the shower head from head to crotch. There was some resistance... then nothing.The ghost split apart, both halves smoking as it turned into a fine white dust that spread across the floor.I sneezed.Ding! Congratulations, you have murdered ‘Sentinel Ghost of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 1! Bonus Exp was granted for brutally killing a monster above your level!“M-murdered?” I repeated before I tried to grab the box. “That wasn’t murder, it was self-defence! Self-defence! Where’s my jury of peers?”“Rar?” Bonsey asked.“You don’t count.” I snapped back; then I regretted it. Bonesy had helped a lot. “Sorry. I’m a bit stressed.”I brought my showerhead with me as I moved around, now vigilant for any ghosts. The Sentinel Ghost hadn’t seemed all that good at guarding really, but maybe there were more and maybe they patrolled. I would have to sleep with one eye open.Still, I had learned a few important lessons:Ghosts weren’t magic resistant at all.They were also scary.Bonesy’s bites were serious business.This place was probably called Threewells by Darkwood.A level one ghost was nearly strong enough to end my adventuring career.I needed to hurry up and level up. Get out there and face the music. Find more ghosts and murd— cleanse their poor souls.Yup.That’s what I needed to do.“Hey, Bonesy, you wouldn’t mind if I cleaned up around here, right? Right, of course not.” Grinding a skill was also a perfectly valid way of spending my time, of course. It was a nice, soothing action and it in no way reminded me that I had almost turned into a ghost myself.I started with the papers, moving all of them to the chest in the barracks that looked the least worn. They might end up staying dry for longer in there, in case anyone ever wanted to read them. I intended to go over them myself, but I would need to bring them outside for the light and.... Later, maybe.I used the broom and mop as makeshift dusters and ended up sneezing up a storm as the room filled with age-old clouds of dust. By the time I was done and my sneezing fits stopped, I was greeted by a floating box.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cleaning skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!A free rank? I thought about my Cleaning skill, and low and behold the menu for it appeared.CleaningRank F — 100%The ability to clean. As this skill rises in level your ability to Clean will improve!This ability is ready to rank up.Do you wish to increase Cleaning to Rank E?“Sure?” I tried.Congratulations! Cleaning is now Rank E!I blinked at the new box and reopened the skill to see the change.CleaningRank E — 0%The ability to clean. Your proficiency and instincts for cleanliness have improved! Clean faster, clean better.“O-kay,” I said. That was nice, I supposed. I hoped that cleaning was one of those skills that was versatile. I had to clean my clothes too at some point, and maybe take a shower later. Still, the progress was nice. I swept all the dust I had kicked up into a neat pile, then used a file folder to scoop it into one of the chests that was now a garbage chest.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.Then, out came the showerhead and mop and bucket. The spray was... weak, and my mana ticked down fairly quickly while using it, but it still gave me enough water to start scrubbing the floor.An hour had passed, maybe more, before I glanced at my skills page again.CleaningRank E — 06%So, about five percent for one room. Which meant... not much. Slower than Rank F, which wasn’t too surprising. Shrugging, I looked over the office area. It was far from perfect. There were wet streaks on the ground and I couldn’t do anything about the broken furniture, but it looked like it had been abandoned last year instead of a decade or five ago.Oh well.The barracks were next, then the bathroom where I pinched my nose and wished for a nice pair of latex gloves as I cleaned around the wooden latrine hole. At least with the passing of decades anything... biodegradable, had rotted away to nothing.I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked over the newly cleaned room. There wasn’t much I could do about the mattresses, though I had found one that was filled with a slightly less moldy filling. If I really needed to sleep here, I could use that bed. Maybe.Shrugging, I turned my efforts to the floor above, though there was little I could do in the armory except smash the wood into kindling and stack it neatly before mopping up the floor.CleaningRank E — 14%I stared at the skills page for a while, then dismissed it. The sun had passed its zenith and was falling now, the skies not yet turning the yellow-orange of mid-day, but approaching it fast. That was fine. Totally okay.I wasn’t afraid of the dark.I was afraid of the ghosts living... unliving in it.“Oh boy,” I said. Cleaning was all well and good, but all I was doing was preparing a nice spot for my body to lay. That, and I was hungry. The lukewarm water from the showerhead was handy, but it wouldn’t fill my tummy up. “I need a weapon,” I said.I turned towards Bonesy. The skeletal head was resting on one of the desks, mouth working to chew through a piece of rotting wood with wet, mushy noises.“Any ideas?” I asked the head.“Rrr.”“Yeah. I can’t exactly stick the shower head at the end of a stick and call it a mace. Your head would be a much better weapon.”I blinked.There was some twine laying around, and cloth that could be used as rope. There was even a broken spear from the armory, more of a length of wood with a metal cap on the end than anything else, but it was usable.I got creative!Nearly an hour and two almost-chewed fingers later, I had a brand new weapon!“Wraare!” Bonesy said from his place of pride at the end of my spear. The shaft was stuck through the hole for his spine and into his braincase, and I'd wrapped him in strips of cloth to keep him from rattling around. I didn't want to blind him, though, so I left a gap for his glowing eyes to glare out of.“I shall dub this weapon... The staff of Bonesy! No, that’s silly. The Ghostbuster? The bone stick? The boner club?” I flushed. “Not that last one.”“Rrrr,” Bonesy agreed.Thus armed, I prepared myself to explore once more. My trusty showerhead in my haversack, my Bonesy stick in one hand and all my prayers in mind as I stepped out into the fading daylight.No ghosts in sight.I moved slowly around the buildings again, tiptoeing as quietly as I could while taking in the town. The homes were in rough shape, but could probably have been renovated and repaired with a bit of love and care. I bet there was a Carpentry skill out there somewhere.As I rounded the corner, I took in a little plaza with a few smaller homes and a big stone well in the middle. There were more homes than I had initially realized, maybe twenty or twenty-five in all.It wasn’t until I was nearing the main road that I saw the second ghost.This one looked rather pitiful, floating nearer to the ground, its cloth-like flesh... stuff, all torn up. It seemed to be moving around in a big circle at a slow, shuffling pace. I didn’t want to fight it, I really didn’t.“Hey there, Mister Ghosty,” I said.The ghost's floating stopped and it slowly turned towards me. Its dull eyes searched around then locked onto me. It frowned.“I don’t mean any trouble,” I said before raising both hands up in surrender.The ghost charged.Well, charge implies rapid movement. The ghost shambled forward like a plastic shopping bag on a windless afternoon. “I’m sorry.” I said as I bonked it on the head with Bonesy.The ghost hit the ground and sort of splattered into dust.I sneezed again, then looked around to see if anyone or anything had heard. There was only a new box to greet me.Ding! Congratulations, you have plotted and successfully carried out the homicide of ‘Sentinel Ghost of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 1! Bonus Exp was granted for killing a monster above your level!“No,” I squeaked before my hand slapped across my mouth. “It wasn’t homicide, I swear,” I said.“Rrre,” Bonesy accused.“No,” I squeaked again.Looking down, I noticed a bit of cloth left on the ground, cloth that shimmered lightly. A poke with my foot didn’t do anything except move it about. I carefully picked it up. A loot drop? Inspecting it revealed nothing, but it did shimmer with a certain ethereal quality. I slid it into my haversack and picked my Bonesy stick up again.There were ghosts around, and no telephone to call the Ghostbusters, which left no one but little old me to take care of things.I whimpered.
Chapter Three — Crime Spree
Ding! Congratulations, you have snuffed out the unlife of ‘Sentinel Ghost of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 1! Bonus Exp was granted for ending a monster above your level! I sniffled and held Bonesy close as I watched the ghost fade away. It was the third ghost I’d killed, the third that had responded to my friendly request with nothing but murder and meanness.I had moved towards the main street of Threewells, or at least the street that bisected the town from one wall to the next. I tried to keep low and go slow, only poking my head up to peek into windows and try to spot any more ghosts. So far, I had been lucky.The first few homes were normal enough, with little dining rooms and fireplaces and some quaint furniture. No plates on the tables or signs that people had left in a hurry, so whatever struck the town must have come with some warning.The fourth house in the row was way larger, with thick double doors and a third floor under its peaked roof. A rusty sign out front hinted that it was a shop of some sort, but the sign was unreadable except for the design that was either a chimney or a well. Probably a well.I stood up on tippy toes to see into the big window at the front, then dipped down when I caught sight of not one, but two ghosts floating around lazily within. “Oh no,” I whispered. “Bonesy, what do I do?”“Rrrr.”I was climbing back up to take another peek when a ghastly hand tore out of the wall and grabbed my face. Icy coldness seeped into me before I jerked my head back, but the grip was too strong.Desperate for leverage, I put a foot against the wall and kicked off, tearing myself free of the ghost's grasp, but not without the burning hot sensation of three cuts across my face. I wanted to scream, but that would just make things worse.I picked Bonesy from where it had rolled and spun to face my attackers.The second ghost was coming out of the wall slowly, but the first, the one with the bloody hand, was almost out already. Moving through things slowed them down, which meant that this was my chance.Bonesy swished through the first ghost with a gleeful ‘Rreee,’ then, after I had caught my balance again, I swiped the bone-topped staff through once more.The ghost was looking worse for wear, but the attacks had taken time, and now it was joined by its brother. A glance around revealed a third ghost floating towards me from across the street.I could have stood my ground and fought, but even with one ghost nearly re-dead I didn’t like my odds. I aimed for the nearest alleyway and ran.If my sense of direction wasn’t completely off, it led to a spot near the hole in the wall where I had found Bonesy. I stumbled into the backyard of the large building and, after a glance to make sure it was ghostless, spun around.The three ghosts were lined up now, all of them floating towards me with murder in their eyes.I licked my lips and tasted the blood from my cheek. My cheek that the ghost’s hand had failed to pass through. I was magic.Or magical enough that they couldn’t phase through me. Or they could unphase their hands for the purposes of chopping innocent teenagers up into bite-sized pieces.I wasn’t going to test anything.The first ghost arrived and was greeted with a smack from Bonesy. The ghost, already injured earlier, broke apart in a fine mist. Its brother ghosts didn’t seem to mind all that much, or maybe they were even angrier, but only had one angry facial expression to work with and couldn’t display their heightened rage.I didn’t know and didn’t care. Bonesy swooshed through the next ghost, first down, then up, then down again. The ghost caught the haft, wood smacking into its hand a couple of feet above its translucent head.I stared.The ghost stared.Bonesy stared at the wall.With a crunch, the ghost crushed my spear, rendering it down to mere splinters where it had caught it. Then gravity did its thing and dragged Bonesy down through its ghostly body, killing it on the spot.“Rrar,” Bonesy said, rejoicing in its victory.“W-well done!” I said before the last ghost moved over Bonesy and completely blocked my path to my only weapons. “Ah, can we... negotiate? Please?”The ghost didn’t care.I could have run, but that would have meant abandoning Bonesy and also I wasn’t sure if the backyard had an exit or not, not unless I snuck back into the wall, then up to the second floor, then down the side of the tower again.It was a bad idea. The ghost could cut me off at any moment.Instead, I brought my haversack around, the one holding my showerhead, and held it out in front of me. “I’m sorry!” I shouted as I charged at the ghost.As slow moving as it was, the ghost didn’t have time to so much as twitch before I rammed into him.Cold. So very cold, but also wispy, like standing in front of an air conditioner with nothing on but an oversized t-shirt.I shot through the ghost, suddenly meeting no resistance. Took two tumbling steps and tripped over Bonesy to land on the ground with a splat. Fortunately, I had my trusty haversack to break my fall. The sack that currently held the very sharp, very pointy showerhead glyph.“Owie,” I whined. Turning around, I looked up in time to see the final ghost fade away into a cloud of whitish dust. “Oh, thank the stars,” I said.Ding! Congratulations, you have caused three (3) enemies (‘Sentinel Ghost of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 1! x3) to give up the ghost! Bonus Exp was granted for killing three (3) monsters above your level!This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 1!Stamina +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“A what?” I asked. Then a wash of heat running through my entire body distracted me for a moment. It was nice, like being tucked into bed by my mom and getting a warm kiss on the forehead from dad right after.Still, the sensation faded a moment later and I decided that I had spent enough time staring at the sky as it appeared between two buildings. It was getting darker by the moment. I would need to find shelter soon.But first...Class Points: OneClass points are used to upgrade a Class Skill.“O-kay?” I wasn’t going to waste that on cleaning just yet.Bonesy was still stuck to a chunk of wood, but the weapon was now more of a mace than a staff or spear. That’s what I got for working with sub-par materials.I walked through the streets with a bit more confidence. I now knew that I could run through ghosts to dispatch them. Sorta. Anyway, they were now on my level, literally. It didn’t help that I didn’t know how many there were in the town, but that didn’t matter.I moved over to one of the smaller houses I had seen, one of three next to the big. I peek through the window, miraculously still intact, showing nothing of worth, so I pulled the door open.The squeal of rusty hinges had me tensing, but nothing showed up to eat me. Instead, I found the inside of the house to be a horrible mess. There was a crate to one side, a bunch of things tossed into it, furniture was laying all over the place and the paint over one wall was discoloured as if a painting had been taken.Looters, maybe? Or people packing up in a hurry?The home was simple. Four rooms. A small kitchen, a dining area, and a bedroom along one side. There was even a small bathroom tucked away in a corner. It was all messy, horribly, horribly messy.But I had a skill for that!I found an old broom and even a feather duster laying around, as well as some soap in a little pan. The items in the house were in far better condition than those outside. Which wasn’t saying much, really, the place was moldy and dirty and drafty.Still, I started cleaning and exploring. The blankets for the bed were flung out the back door and into a sort of bin I suspected was for composting, judging by the little garden space out back. Then I patted down the thin mattress and found it... usable, if barely. Then came the dusting and the broom and and the tossing out of trash, all done with a speed and ease that surprised me a little. Maybe that’s what a rank E in Cleaning really meant.CleaningRank E — 44%I blinked at the rise in experience. It was getting close, and I still needed some essentials. Like food.Screwing up my courage, I snuck out of the house and visited the neighbour’s place. It was in a much worse shape, the roof having caved in and obvious water damage ruining the floor. I didn’t do much, merely dusted a little, tossed out some things and searched for anything handy, but other than a fire poker that might have served as a non-anti-ghost weapon there wasn’t much.The third house is where I struck gold. Or rather, silver.This home was a bit bigger than the others, with a cellar below and a second bedroom within and a sort of little workshop in the back. The tools were all gone except for some gardening implements that were more rust than anything else.The interior was still furnished. Chairs and tables and beds that still had sheets over them. The closets and chests hid some moth-eaten clothes and the little pantry next to the kitchen had some lumps that might have been bread at one time.At the back were three jars, each filled with liquid gold. “Honey!” I squealed as I brought the glass jars closer. The orange-ish stuff within looked hard and it was heavy in my hands, but recognizable still. Some prying and sweating later and the jar opened with a pop. A sniff, then a lick proved it to be just that.I resealed the jar and went back to searching, almost absentmindedly cleaning as I did so.Everything that looked edible went onto a freshly wiped table. This place was nice. With few windows from which a monster or ghost could see me and enough stuff that I could pass the night.Choice made, I got to cleaning, and it’s thanks to that that I found a loose floorboard. By the time I pried it open with a fire poker it was going dark outside, but not so much that I couldn’t marvel at the six pieces of silver I had found.I was rich! Maybe.Six silver, a fire poker, three medium-ish sized jars of honey, a jar of vinegar that I suspected was apple cider, three unopened bottles of wine and a block of what I hoped was salt wrapped in waxy paper. Not exactly a feast, but I retrieved a clean-ish spoon and took a few scrapes of honey. It was nice and sweet, but didn’t go so well with the sip of vinegar I tried.I wasn’t going to starve, which was nice. I just had to make sure to survive the night.I moved blankets over the windows where curtains once hung and made a nice bed for myself with the nicer bundles of clothes I could find in the middle of the living room. Bonesy kept me company, a thin cloth over his face serving to keep it quiet.“Good night, Bonesy,” I said.“Rrr,” the skull replied.I laid down and thought of my adventure so far. Of discovering a tiny corner of a huge land and of fighting mean ghosts.The smile wouldn’t keep off my face even as I fell asleep while faint glows appeared and faded beyond the windows of my tiny abode.
Chapter Four — Dusting Off History
I settled into a routine of sorts. First, I would circle around the house, Bonesy-maul in one hand, fire poker in the other. Then, if I spotted no ghosts, I would try the front door. The people of Threewells must have been very trusting because few of their doors were locked and those that were opened to a swift kick near their handles.The first three or so homes I snuck into were all fairly similar, but I uncovered little stories and hints of what might have been. A room with a cradle made of delicately twisted wood that had somehow resisted the test of time, a small library with leather bindings that might have once been books in one home. A blacksmith’s house, with hammer heads left here and there and a cracked anvil serving as a coffee table.There weren’t any bodies, none that I found, anyway. Just signs that people had left in a hurry. A sickness, maybe? But no, that would have left signs. Maybe the local mine dried up and the community up and left. There were some things that looked expensive that had been left behind though, things too heavy and complicated to carry if you were in a hurry.I moved back onto the main street, walking a little taller now that I had failed to see any ghosts all morning. I knew there were still some around, but they didn’t scare me anymore.Not much.Okay, so they still scared me, but I was one tough cookie, I could stand up against a ghost. But probably not two.I came to the large building where I’d seen two ghosts yesterday and slipped into it. Almost immediately my eyes grew wide and a grin tugged at me. “An inn!” I squealed to Bonesey.“Rerr,” Bonesy agreed.There were round tables and chairs all around them, a huge hearth against one wall and a long counter at one end with all sorts of bottles on the wall behind it. Rusting lamps hung from the ceiling and the tattered remains of banners were crumpled on the ground. I spun around and took in the room. I could imagine gruff adventurers, pretty elves, stout dwarves and cunning magicians taking a seat and maybe pinching the occasional barmaid’s bum.I giggled in delight, but the sound felt off, wrong in such a dead and vacant place.I had to explore. And then, maybe I could clean up a little. My Cleaning skill was slowly rising and I was getting nearer and nearer to the tantalizing prize of Rank D, whatever that would mean.CleaningRank E — 87%Still no other skills, but I knew they would come!I was itching to get started with the inn, but I decided to explore a tiny bit first. There was a staircase off to one side leading up one floor, with a pretty carved rail and what might have been a carpet once; behind that was the far less decorative staircase into the building’s basement.I went down first, while the sunlight was still angled in such a way that I could see. The basement had a thick door separating it from the rest of the inn, which I found was locked. I frowned at it and kicked the door, even going so far as to lay on my back to deliver a heel-strike next to the brass handle, but that only made the door shudder.No good.Still, no ghosts came through so I was in the clear.I decided to check the rest of the first floor, then make my way up. The kitchens were big, with a couple of stoves and a big oven off to one side. I found bins that might once have contained flour and wheat and a small pantry where I got to add another jar of honey to my collection. There were also jars of what I thought might be jam, but I wasn’t going to take the risk of falling sick with those.The bathrooms only got a cursory glance and the space behind the counter was empty save for a wooden thing that might have been a crossbow tucked where the bartender could grab it in a hurry. It really was an inn for adventurers. A sign hung above the racks of bottles, just like the one outside but in better condition. This place was called the ‘Well Inn Good’ at one time. I barked a laugh at the name and moved on.The only other rooms were for storage, filled with rotten linens and the moth-eaten remains of blankets and suchlike. One room was a small office with a board on a wall that had little keys on rings sitting pretty on rows of pegs. I tossed them all into my haversack just in case before I moved on.The steps creaked as I made my way up to the second floor. I had an idea of what to expect. Probably a row of doors on both ends of a corridor, and I was partially correct. There were doors on both sides of the passageway, with ancient paintings hanging off the walls next to lanterns hanging off of hooks.I made a note to add one to my haversack later. There had been candles here and there and I was sure that a source of light would be handy later.Each door was opened after some searching for the right key and the small rooms within inspected. Most were small, with a little bed and just enough room to move around in.Those on the opposite side were a fair bit bigger, with beds big enough for two and little dressers tucked against the walls. I checked all of them, but found nothing salvageable.Then I found the stairs leading to the third floor-and a ghost.My heart skipped a beat as I took in the lonely form of a ghost hovering in midair, its vacant eyes looking out of one of the windows overlooking part of the town I hadn’t explored yet. I moved up very carefully, sure not to make a sound and wincing at every creak from the floor.Half the top floor was a sort of lounge area, with chairs that looked like they had been comfy once and coffee tables with decaying detritus on them. There were only three rooms here, each one way bigger than the rooms below.They seemed empty, all save one.The corpse was laying on the bed, legs over the side and torso stretched out. It was old, little more than bones and sinew. I wondered if it’s where the ghost came from.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.“Hello?” I tried.The ghost didn’t move.A deaf ghost, or a busy one? I held up Bonesy, ready to strike, then hesitated. This one wasn’t trying to hurt me.I swallowed past my fear and reached out a hand. I touched the ghost’s sides, sending chills up my arm. The ghost turned.We locked eyes.It had a placid, calm face, not a hint of the anger I say in the others. I felt as if I was being inspected before the ghost dismissed me and returned to staring.“I’m sorry for bothering you,” I whispered and the ghost nodded. “Um, can you help me?” I asked.The ghost didn’t say or do anything, he just turned and kept staring out the window to something across the street.I looked around it, careful in case it suddenly moved, and tried to find what it was looking for. It wasn’t hard to find. Across the road, and just visible from where we stood between the roofs of two homes, was a dark pit in the ground. The remains of bricks around it hinted at the presence of a well there once. A form floated above. Dark, malevolent and creepy as all heck.It was a ghost, but one that was dark and broody and probably listened to indie pop.A ding sounded out in the back of my mind.Quest Updated!The Hole Down UnderAn evil root has plunged into the world.You have found the hole. Explore it. Find the root. Destroy it.“Aww, shucks.”
* * *
I cleaned the inn from top to bottom, only avoiding the room with the friendly ghost’s body because I didn’t want to strain our relationship by stepping into his comfort zone. I was nearly done with the second floor when a ‘ding’ sounded out.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cleaning skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!I whooped and cheered. Finally!My skill screen came up next, Cleaning front and centre.CleaningRank E — 100%The ability to clean. Your proficiency and instincts for cleanliness have improved! Clean faster, clean better.This ability is ready to rank up. Do you wish to increase Cleaning to Rank D?“Yes please!” I told the menu.Congratulations! Cleaning is now Rank D!CleaningRank D — 00%The ability to Clean. You are exceptionally good at tidying up and washing off. Effectiveness of cleaning is greatly increased.“Neat,” I said. I didn’t know how that would work out, but it seemed like a valuable skill. Maybe. Maybe I should have spent more time trying to learn how to swing a club or start fires or anything else, but this, exploring and uncovering the story of such an old place? This felt nice.I moved into the next room, broom and duster and dustpan and trash chest armed and ready.I left the room ten minutes later and turned around to take it all in. The furniture was spotless, the bed well made, the floor had just a bit of a lustre to it and the air smelled fresher. All that in under ten minutes. It had passed... not in a haze, I knew what I had been doing the entire time, but each step felt so natural and easy.A giggle escaped. My parents would have flipped if I was this good at cleaning just a week ago.CleaningRank D — 03%I frowned at that. Only three percent for one room where before it gave quite a bit more than that. Not quite double, but close. At ten minutes per room... a bit of mental math later revealed that I was really bad at math. Also, math was something I could do while working. “Chop chop Broccoli, these rooms won’t clean themselves!” I said in a gruff voice, as if I was the owner of this inn.An hour or so later I found myself tidying up the main floor, setting chairs back in place and pushing a hefty pile of dust into a pan that I was going to have to dump in the back. Next, the bathrooms. The stalls were clean enough, but I still splashed some water around and mopped them up, then I used a fresh cloth to clean off the little mirrors above a basin that probably once held water for hand washing.I stared at my reflection and froze.I was wearing a smile as I always did, hair pulled back into a not-so-neat ponytail that was tied together with a cloth ribbon. What drew my attention though were the three slashes across my face. One on my right cheek, two on the left. The blood from the forgotten cut had stained my face red and made me look like some sort of ghoulish madwoman. It didn’t help that my hair was frazzled and my skin needed a good wash.That just wouldn’t do!I found a fresh, less disgusting cloth in my sack, wetted it with my trusty showerhead glyph and dabbed at my face, wincing as I reopened the cut a little. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed until I knew that it was clean, then stared.And then I stared some more.It clicked after a moment. I had super-cleaning powers. Of course I could clean my face very well. But I never expected it to clean away skin blemishes and pimples.This changed everything!I snorted and tossed the dirty rag aside. Not really. I would never get to show off my pretty skin if I didn’t survive the adventure. It was time to get exploring again. There were more houses to see, and a monster ghost to face, and a deep foreboding hole in the ground that apparently hid a great evil, and of course more stuff to clean.I moved over to the main room, ready to move on when an idea struck me. If I was going to clean the entire town to grind my mad cleaning skills, it would probably be best if I kept notes. A bit of charcoal from the fireplace and a piece of cloth served as a very rudimentary pen and paper.My map was crude, but it gave me something to aim for. I was going to clean the entire town and get rid of every evil ghost around!
Chapter Five — An Insightful Afternoon
CleaningRank D — 44% I grinned at the results, wiped my forehead dry of sweat and stretched until my back pop-popped in a most satisfactory way. The sun was starting to dip already. It was crazy how much fun you could have just exploring.So far, I had covered two of the houses next to the Inn, both of them much bigger than the homes on the Inn’s other side. They had enough bedrooms and space for big families, and the quality of the furniture was much better. I even managed to find better brooms and a mop that looked almost brand new and that seemed to stay fresh no matter how much I used it.A magic mop! Or one that was just really well made.I had three more homes to work on in this corner of the town-the section that I suspected was reserved for the richer inhabitants-then I would move all the way to the other end in the poorer section where I could see the peaked roof of a church.Nodding to myself, I stepped out of the last house, Bonesy in my wash bucket and my mop and broom slung over my shoulder.I should have been paying more attention.A white hand clawed out towards my face and I squeaked as I bent over backwards to avoid the swipe aimed right at me.I fell on my bum, then rolled to the side as a claw raked through the ground where I had fallen. My hand shot out and I grabbed Bonesy, swinging the head around to slice through the next swipe aiming for my face.It worked, making the ghostly hand vanish for a moment before it reformed. It was a big enough window of time that I was able to roll again, then climb onto my feet. My skirt and blouse was soggy where they had rolled in the grass and my hair had gone wild, but that was secondary to the ghost that turned and tried to claw at me again.“Not this time, buster,” I said as I swiped Bonesy through one arm, then the other, then with a yell that was totally not a squeak, I swished the skeletal head through the ghost from top to bottom.I panted as the ghost faded away to nothing, leaving only a glowing dust behind that soon sparkled away into darkness. “Oh my goshness,” I said as I tried to calm my beating heart. I looked this way and that, taking in the homes all around me and inspecting everything.That had been close. Way too close. And so easy to avoid too. All I had to do was stick my head out of the door and look around and I would have been fine. This wasn’t home-I had to remind myself-where things weren’t out to kill you all day every day.My grip around bonesy tightened and I shivered.Ding! Congratulations, you have made ‘Sentinel Ghost of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 1 come to a sticky end!I stared at the prompt. “Was that a stick pun?” I asked.Clearly the menu systems in this world were all quite evil. It was something to take my mind off my latest near-death experience... and now I was the one making puns. I groaned and looked up to the sky, taking in the huge blue expanse with the occasional distant birds and the strange balloon in the dista-I blinked and focused on what looked like a tiny-or very, very distant-oblong balloon. It was brown-ish grey, with a large red mark on its side and a faint trail of smoke behind it. Not something organic, not with the way it hung motionless in the sky.“What is that?” I wondered.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the general skill: Insight!“Holy moly!” I looked around. I hadn’t forgotten the whole ghost almost-eating-my-face thing, but this was certainly a nice distraction. “Insight!” I said as I held up BonesyA Skeleton (Level ?) head attached to a stick.I laughed, then pressed a hand over my mouth to keep the sound low. Looking up, I stared at the tiny distant shape and thought ‘insight’ as hard as I could.An airship.“A flip fluffering airship?” I gasped.There were magical airships around! The world had just gotten a million times cooler. But those were things I’d never get to see if I stayed in this ghost-town...“Oh no, the puns are catching up.”I shook my head, picked up all of my gear, and moved on to the next house. This one’s front door was locked, but the window was completely smashed in. It was pretty easy to climb in then unlock the door from the inside.There were some bits of furniture left in this house, more so than in others. I made the rounds, checking the kitchen for anything good, then the pantry and the single bedroom and bathroom on the first floor. Nothing. I did find a strange room on the second floor, with large training dummies that were sad and squashed looking where the straw stuffing that had once filled them was rotten away and a rack with some rusty short swords on it. They were probably cheap even before time took its toll. Still, I replaced my fire poker and counted myself lucky.In the next room over, this one an office with a broken window that had let the elements slip in, I found a small dent atop a desk where the dust was sitting strangely. A bit of poking revealed a hidden compartment, but it only held a silvery key and a bit of ribbon that had rotted away. I tucked it in my sack and kept searching, but to no avail.Once I was done with the top floor I began grinding.“Insight.”A training dummy.“Insight!”A sword.“Insight?”A practice pole.So, Insight wasn’t that useful, at least not at this level. That just meant I now had two skills I could grind! Insight seemed to be increasing by a percentage point with every item I used it on, which was simple enough. But I didn't want to leave my cleaning fall behind.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.An hour or so later I carefully, with much snooping around and down and up, moved out of the house and called it done.CleaningRank D — 68%InsightRank F — 89%Grinning, I moved onto the next home, then the next. Halfway through the first home a big ‘ding’ resounded in the back of my head and I jumped for joy and spun around with my broom.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Insight skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!“Woo!” I cheered as I bounced on the spot, only stopping when my broom handle banged on the ceiling and sent a wave of dust clattering down onto my head. I coughed and choked and sputtered and basically lost a lot of the good cheer I’d just garnered.I accepted the rank up and checked out my crazy new skill.InsightRank E — 00%The Ability to know something. The knowledge you gain is increased.“Wow!” I said before focusing on Bonesy who was sitting in a corner to watch me clean.A Skeleton (Level ?) head poorly attached to a stick.“That was... underwhelming.” None of the other things I used Insight on revealed much more than what they were with a single word descriptor of their quality or age. I sort of already know that my short sword was rusty. But that was just rank E! Maybe I’d become a real Sherlock Holmes when I hit rank SS+!My cleaning continued, my skills at housecleaning in a dead city improving to the point where I could clean a whole house in just under an hour or so. I guessed. I would need a watch at some point.If watches existed.But airships did, so why not?I took what little stuff I had found that was useful. A nice silver candle holder with a mirrored hand protector that would keep the light out of the holder’s eyes, a pretty painting of a boat on a river with a dragon flying in the background in a nice frame, a few spoons and table knives made of silver, and tossed them all into a rough sack I found that was hole-less. They were the sum total of my riches.When I found civilization my first stop was going to be an antique’s store where I could sell all of the stuff and make enough to fund any future adventures!I pulled out my map and checked it out. It seemed that I had cleaned and explored the-I was going to call it Western-part of the town completely. The Evil Hole of Great Evil was just to the East of where I was, which was totally off limits because I was pretty sure the only respawn I would get was as a ghost to haunt the next poor adventurer and that wasn’t neat.More grinding!I had to admit, cleaning had never been so much fun. Or grinding for that matter. There were real, tangible benefits to all of this and I loved every moment of it except for the moments where I was nearly dying. Those I could do without.I arrived at the southern end of the town and realized that I would need to update my map a lot. But before that, more sneaking!Moving between two homes, I kept myself low to the ground, my haversack and cleaning gear and things left next to a house behind to reduce the noise I made as I moved around.It seemed that at some point the road leading into the town forked and never reconnected, so that the road I had been exploring for the past day and a bit was disconnected from the one I found now. This road ended at a big gate that was left ajar, just enough for someone to walk through if it wasn’t for the huge pile of branches stuffed by the entrance.There was another well, which made three! I was right about the name!My silent cheering at my discovery froze up when I peeked around a corner and found the old church I had seen a while ago. It was a large building with two bell towers and a small graveyard behind it. One filled with ghosts. A quick snoop revealed five glowing forms wandering in circles.Five too many.I still snooped around a little. The buildings nearest the church looked like businesses. A blacksmith’s shop, a supply store of some kind, a shop with a stick-like symbol before it. I took note of what I could see, then backed away.Too much for me to handle at my level.Maybe it was best that I just... move on. But then that would leave my quest undone, and something niggled at me about it. It didn’t have a timer, exactly, but I could tell that the longer I waited the harder things would get.No. It was best that I stick around and at least try to see what I could do. There was another tower to visit at the far end of town. Close to the evil ghost but not on it. And there were ghosts that I might be able to chat with.And of course more stuff to explore.I entered a house as far from the church as could be and did my usual snoop and clean routine. Then, nearly an hour later, as the sun was setting, I used the last rays to update my map, scrubbing out mistakes with some spit and rubbing, and checked on my skill growth.InsightRank E — 14%CleaningRank D — 84%Come morning I would hit Cleaning rank C and probably Insight rank D. Two handy skills to have, but neither combat based. Still, I wasn’t without options. I would try to lure some ghosts closer to me and take them out with Bonesy. Insight had come from repetitive actions. Cleaning from a smaller number of actions, but it was a ‘class’ skill.Cinnamon Bun was obviously not a combat class, so for a fighting skill I would need a whole lot more repetitions.I could do it, I knew I could!“I believe in me!” I said.“Rrrr,” Bonsey agreed. And with that, I packed up and snuck back to the spot I’d slept in the night prior.
Chapter Six — Armoured and Ready
I was feeling off as I sat down at a quiet table, Bonesy propped up across from me with a spoon crunching in their mouth.There was a spoon in my own mouth, metal clinking against my teeth and I wiggled it around and let the lingering taste of honey fade away. It took some thinking, some soul-searching, to figure out exactly what it was that bothered me.I was lonely.My entire life had been filled with people. Friends and family and new faces that were just waiting for me to make them smile. We had moved a lot throughout my life, so I was used to parting with friends and making new ones all the time. That had to be it. This town was quiet, no one to talk to, no one to share with.But that would change! I would accomplish my mission, the very reason I was here, then I would move on and find people. Maybe buy an airship and become sky pirate Broccoli! But without the piracy because taking other people’s stuff without permission wasn’t nice.Nodding, I wiped my spoon clean, tossed it into my sack, then got things ready for a whole new day of adventuring. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon, which meant I had all day.Hopefully, by the end of the day I would be done exploring the city. Maybe I would even be strong enough to face the Evil Hole in earnest.We’d see.For now the plan was simple. Explore every house next to the ‘south’ wall as best I could, then move over to the shops. Something told me that I would find some much nicer loot there. Then... then I would need to find a way to get rid of all those ghosts near the church.I would try talking to them first, but if that didn’t work, then maybe I could rig up a sort of trap? I was certain there were other magical items around that I could use to injure them. Flicking magic stuff at my adversaries until they poofed wasn’t the most glorious tactic, but it might work.All my gear was prepped, Bonesy ‘Rrr’ed’ in readiness, and I was determined to make the best of the day.The first home I scouted was across the street from the inn at an angle. A long, low house with a roof that had once been a vibrant green before decades of missing maintenance took their toll. The door was locked, but a kick solved that problem and opened it right up.It was dusty and a little tarnished within, but nothing I hadn’t seen, or cleaned, before. Surprisingly there was only a small fireplace tucked in a corner. No kitchen proper. The place felt unlived in. The furniture pushed to the sides, the bedroom too large for the single bed shoved up against the far wall. The bookshelf empty of any interesting looking bindings but filled with broken knick knacks.An ancient jug. EmptyI rolled my eyes, dusted the jug and moved on.The next room was a big office, one with surprisingly few papers, but they were in good shape. There was a huge ledger-like book on the table, one that was entirely untouched by dust or grime and looked as if it had just come off the printing press. I fired an Insight at it.Ledger and Accounts of the Well Inn Good, soul bound bookSoul bound? That was disturbing. Taking a moment to make sure I was alone, I moved to the big book and poked it. Nothing. Then I fished out a spoon and tried to open the book.Warning! This book is Soul Bound!Warning! The Soul Binding on this book has faded. The previous owner has passed away.Do you wish to Bind your Soul to this book? Ledger and Accounts of the Well Inn Good.Did I want to play with strange and unknown magics that messed with my soul without any idea of what they did? “Nope,” I said.I dusted around the book, and over and under the desk. There was a rusty key in a drawer. I held it up and stared at it for a moment. If the book was the Inn’s ledger, than this key might be for the basement I couldn’t get into.It didn’t cost anything to check! Then I remembered that I was an idiot and didn’t have to travel all the way over to the inn for that. “Insight.”Well Inn Good Basement Key.“Neat,” I said before tossing the key into my sack and moving on. The next house was entirely empty. Not even any furniture left behind. I didn’t get much experience in that one. The one right after wasn’t a house at all, but a sort of storage place.The door was barred with a heavy gate that I couldn’t break through, and the windows were... well, there weren’t any. I pouted at the building, but that didn’t do anything. So I marked it on my map and moved on.
The next two homes were small and simple, but I could see the church through the windows, so I cleared them with as much stealth as possible. It was worth it though as I found some coins under a mattress in what might have been a sock once. One silver, some green disks that were either copper or bronze.In the second house I found a magical device under one bed.Cheap magical wand, oldAll it did when I pushed magic into it was vibrate. Maybe I could use it to hurt ghosts though, so I tossed it into my sack.Then it finally happened.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cleaning skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) Class Point“What?!” I said once I was done cheering (quietly). I did have a Class Point from when I levelled up, but I was loath to spend it so soon. Wasn’t I supposed to sit on skill points forever and never ever use them until I had to fight some big boss?Oh well, whatever. A lost point at level one wasn’t that big a deal, I figured.Spend one (1) Class Point to raise the Rank of Cleaning to C?“Yes please,” I said.Congratulations! Cleaning is now Rank C!Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.CleaningRank C — 00%The ability to Clean. You are exceptionally good at tidying up and washing off. Effectiveness of cleaning is marginally increased. You may now use mana to clean things you touch.I stared, then started to giggle, and then, because I didn’t want the ghosts across the street to eat me, I slapped a hand over my mouth and ran out of the house.My next stop was somewhere I was curious about, and where I could practice my new magic. Magic! I had magic! I didn’t so much run as skip to the Inn.The Inn was how I had left it, deserted but surprisingly clean, like a house in bad need of some love ready to be shown off to some prospective buyers. I twirled around, skirt flaring for a moment before I refocused on my task. A bit of searching later, I had the basement key in hand and was fitting it into the lock.The door opened with a deep groan, revealing a long room with a low ceiling. There were stones with glyphs on them fixed to the beams above, a long table in the middle of the room with a few scraps of what might have been a map, and some crates stacked up to one side. The far wall had big kegs that had probably held the wine and mead and beer that they once served here.No ghosts, wraiths or even a rodent of unusual size.I was in the clear to explore.Deeper in, I found three stands with armour on them, each rack covered in roughly scratched glyphs. The armour looked intact as if they had been completely untouched by the passing of time.I gasped, already giddy at the idea of using magic, now doubly so if I got to wear cool armour while casting my first spells.The first two sets looked like something I’d expect a lowly adventurer to wear.Simple steel armour, old.Simple steel plate armour, old.They were neat, but built for someone way bigger than me. And male. The third set was more to my liking.Simple armless gambeson, old.The thick padded cloth, all of it coloured a sort of beige, would make me look kind of chubby, that that was alright if it meant not being dead. It even had a sort of jacket above it made of a thick leather. A skirt made of long strips of leather with little brozen scales sewn into it hung below.Boiled leather jacket, old.Boiled leather skirt, old.A glance at the racks and a quick ‘Insight’ revealed how they had survived so long.Magical armour rack.I took the armour off the rack and weighted it in my arms for a bit. It was all a little heavier than my usual clothes, but that was fine. “It’s such a shame there’s no way for me to clean this poor, dirty old armour with a spell,” I said with false exasperation.I focused on my magic-the same stuff I had been using to make water with the showerhead glyph-and pushed it towards the armour. A wash of tiredness swept over me, but that was secondary to what I saw. The dirt and dust flaked off of the armour, the straps took on a faint shine and the cloth looked freshly cleaned.I laughed aloud as I spun my totally awesome new armour around. I had magic!First cleaning spells, next, fireballs! A quick check of my stats showed me just how much I had lost which was kind of disconcerting.Mana 79/105About a quarter of my total mana. Mana which I knew went up by about one a minute. Still, the amount of time it would have taken me to clean the armour as well as the spell had was... probably the same?I flipped the armour back and forth and looked at how clean it was, then considered how long it would take me to reach the same level of cleanliness by hand. About twenty to thirty minutes? Which was the same time it took to regenerate that mana. So it was a fair trade.For the sake of practice I fired off the spell on the skirts and the leather jacket and lost two different amounts of mana, both lower than the gambeson alone. Neat!“What do you think, Bonesey?” I asked my skeletal friend.“Rrr,” was his bored response.“Yeah, I guess you saw all sorts of magic in your day, huh?” I told it. “I hope you don’t mind, but I need to get dressed, so...” I reached over and turned Bonesy so that it was facing the far wall. As friendly as we were, well, it wasn’t so friendly that I’d let it see me getting dressed.I debated keeping my blouse on or not, but I didn’t want to armour to chafe and the soft cotton of my blouse would keep my skin safe. Still, I took it off and winced at how dirty it had become. Oh, if only I had a solution to that.A few more points of mana down the drain and I had a perfectly spotless blouse. One that I was going to wear over skin that hadn’t seen a shower in two and a bit days. Yuck.Another drain of mana and I gasped. I was... clean. Very clean. I was clean all over. ”Oh, wow,” I said as I shifted around. “That’s... refreshing.”Mana 42/105I shrugged and fired off another cleaning spell at my skirt, because I could. Then slid back into my blouse. It felt... itchy. Had I just exfoliated my everything? I had to be careful with this great power.Still, it wouldn’t be right not to share!“Hey Bonesy, how you you like to be the cleanest, leanest skeleton on this side of... wherever we are?”“Rrr?”“Uh huh,” I said as I placed one finger onto the bony skull and pushed.Magic flowed out of me.Bonesey shifted, jaw opening, then hanging slack as a ghostly form, just a head and the hint of shoulders, appeared out of the skull.Ding! Congratulations, you have sent ‘Bonesy. Skeletal Bard’ Level 3 beyond the veil! Bonus Exp was granted for cleansing a monster above your level!“Bonesy!” I shouted.The ghostly afterimage above the skull floated up, taking the shape of a man’s face. “Thank you,” he whispered before fading away.My knees crashing into the dusty ground.“Bonesy! No, no, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Chapter Seven — Grave
I hit a rock. A spark flew out from the gardening trowel I was using. I grabbed the rock and tossed it aside and returned to digging.The hole grew. Wet dirt stained my knees and seeped into my dress as I tore into the soggy ground.My fingers began to hurt. I dug deeper.The sun burned down onto my back. The hole was a few feet deep now. Not very even, not as deep as some. But enough.I lowered the package down, wrapped in the cloth of a banner I had found in the guard tower.I stared for a moment. The words were hard to find until a small smile broke out. “Rarr,” I said.Dirt fell onto the grave, filling it. Then I patted it down.The gravestone came next. A plaque made from a piece of a door, the stick holding it up once a spear that had saved my life.BonesyAn unnamed bard.A skeletonA friendI wiped my cheeks dry and got up.
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The armour I had been so excited about slipped on easily enough. There were knots to tie, and the material pinched in a few places. But as soon as it was all on the material shifted and moved. I felt the faint stir of magic around my body, then nothing.It fit like a glove.That was good. I would need it.
* * *
There were still only five ghosts. I had a long piece of cord by my side, the end heavy where I had tied my showerhead glyph. I held onto the small ‘magic wand’ in my other hand. I had a suspicion I wanted to prove.The grass rustled and shifted as I walked closer to the church, to the graveyard. “Hey!” I called out.Five heads slowly turned my way, then their faces shifted into disgusting, disfigured expressions as if I had just walked over to them covered in rot and filth.“Hello,” I said. My voice was hoarse, a little raw. I blinked a few times, then coughed to clear my throat. “Hello. My name is Broccoli Bunch,” I said even as the first ghosts started to fly towards me, arms and claws outstretched.“W-would you be my friends?”The first ghost to reach me grabbed my face, claws digging into the back of my head and cheek.“I’m sorry,” I said.Cleaning magic shot into the ghost.The ghost burst apart.I swung my makeshift flail around in a tight circle, sweeping through the arms of the next ghost to approach again and again, but it was still coming at me.The magic wand flew through its head and past the body of the ghost behind him. One fell, the other paused as the hole in its torso mended.I stepped to the side and shoved my hand into the chest of the next ghost. Another pulse of cleaning magic. Two were left. I was down to the last third of my mana.My spinning flail spun through the already injured ghost as I moved onto the last and most intact of the group. A touch, a burst of mana. It burst apart like a sack of flour with a firecracker inside it.Then the flail did its job and the final ghost, already torn apart, whooshed onto the ground in a pool of dust. It left behind a thin, ghostly cloth.My knees hit the ground and I buried my face in my hands. My tears stung when they slid into the open cuts across my cheek.But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay and just wallow in my own sadness. I had a quest, a mission to do, and being sad, being down like that, even if, even if I had just killed my only friend. I swallowed, throat thick.Ding! Congratulations, you have wiped out (5) enemies (‘Sentinel Ghost of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 1! x5)!Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the skill: Makeshift Weapon Proficiency!“Neat,” I said to no one, because there was no one to hear.I got up. I wiped my eyes again. I used the last of my mana to clean my face, wiping away the drying blood and allowing a fresh rivulet to slip down my cheek. One more cut and I would have an even number of scars across my cheeks. I snorted, which turned into a giggle, which I stopped before I started crying again.The shops. The church. Then the evil spirit. Enough time to regain all of my mana and maybe eat some more honey and drink more lukewarm water.I picked up the ghostly cloth and brought it with me to the edge of the road where my haversack was waiting and tossed it in along with my magic wand. The showerhead I kept. Had to grind those Makeshift Weapon Proficiency levels after all. A gift, of sorts, from Bonesy.The first stop was a general store, the shelves emptied, some of them tossed to the ground. There were jars here and there, and some lengths of rope that looked decent. I took one and looped it under one arm and over the opposite shoulder. It seemed sturdy enough, and good rope was never a bad thing.I found a backpack in the back of the store. It was dusty, of course, and a little brittle, but the material seemed nice and tough and hadn’t rotten away. I transferred the stuff from my haversack into it, leaving behind some of the less handy things and wrapping others in the cloth I had. I didn’t want to make too much noise as I moved, which meant quieting down the rattle of the stuff I carried.My inventory, if I could call it that without sounding too geeky, consisted of:A now-empty haversackTwo pieces of ghostly clothA key from the house with training dummiesFour jars of honeyOne jar of vinegarTwo bottles of wineA bottle of water from my showerheadOne pretty painting boat and dragonSome silverware in a clothOne silver candleholder with a dozen fresh candlesThe narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.A small firestarterSome bits and pieces of cloth.A length of ropeMy mapNot much of a hoard, but enough, I hoped, to get by. I wondered where and when I had misplaced my rusty short sword. Not that it mattered much.The next stop was the blacksmith’s shop. There was a bell that clunked above the door, just loud enough and close enough to my head that I jumped three feet in the air at the noise. “Oh gosh,” I said as my heart pounded away. I shook my head, made sure I was still alone in the shop, then started looking around.This had to be the workspace of whoever lived in that one home I had found with the broken anvil. It was a busy place, with tools laying all over and strange devices left to rust. From the number of hooks on the wall and the tools around, it was clear that the blacksmith had taken his or her share of them with them. The anvil was gone, but there was a big log where it might have sat. The huge forge at the back had remained, probably easier to move the rest of the building than that one piece.I didn’t clean anything as I moved to a small section that seemed to be made for displaying wares and suchlike to the customers. There was a safe with a key resting in its lock.“Huh,” I said as I easily opened the door and found... ingots of metal and a few knives in leather sheaths. One man’s treasure, I guessed. None of the stuff within the safe was rusted, probably owing to the glyphs carved into the sides of the box.I pulled out one knife and sheath and inspected it visually, then ran a thumb perpendicular to the blade. It sang a little. Sharp.“Insight.”A sharp steel woodsman’s knife, old.I shrugged, tossed one knife into my backpack and looped the other to the belt holding up my leather skirt.The rest of the shop didn’t reveal much of any worth to me.The third store, the one nearest the gates of the village, had a strange sign above it. A staff with a ball above it and something going around it. Magic, obviously, but what sort was beyond me.The door opened to a few quick kicks and revealed a sort of clinic, of all things. A pair of beds at the back, both with dirtied sheets on them stained with what might have been blood once. There was a counter with glass jars to one side, and beyond that a small room with mortar and pestles and alembics.“An alchemist’s shop,” I realized. “And a medical clinic.” It made sense that they would be together. I picked up a bottle and shook it a little. “Insight.”An expired healing potion, old.“Shucks.” Not one of them was usable, much to my dismay. I left them behind and explored some more, but most of the good stuff had left with the people living here or had been looted long ago. The second floor of the building had a small bedroom for two and an office space with a strange cabinet on the wall. There were some more tools within, and a single book. All perfectly untouched.I recognized the glyphs from the safe on the inside of the cabinet. It was locked.Safe from time the contents might have been, but not from a smack from a rock. The glass burst apart, showering the floor in tinkling pieces that I shied away from. “Sorry,” I said to the no doubt long-dead owners as I moved to the cabinet. The book was fresh. Not quite new. In fact, it was worn and well loved.Herbs for Healing, Plants for Power, read the title.“Huh, neat,” I said. “Insight.”A herbology book.I leafed through the pages, taking note of the carefully hand-drawn images of plants on nearly every page and the obviously machine-printed text next to them with descriptions and warnings and uses. There were notes as well, in a cursive hand that was hard to read but still comprehensible if I squinted.I wrapped it in a bit of old bedsheets I cut off in the bedroom, then placed it in the bottom of my pack.That was it. There were some homes left to explore, and the church, but that was it for this corner of the town. It was also it for me, at least for that day. The sun hadn’t begun to set yet, but I was tired, weary to the bone.I had one last thing I wanted to look into, then I would be off.The town was as silent as ever as I crossed it. The only difference now that my head was held high and I welcomed any ghost that would come at me. None did. I reached the hole in the wall where I had first come out into Threewells and shuffled into it. My eyes lingered over where Bonesy had once been, but I moved on.In the office was the chest I couldn’t open. In my hand, the key I had found in the house with the training dummies and spare swords. It was just a hunch, but... The key slotted in, and I spun it around. The lock clicked and the top of the chest popped open with a whump of pressurized air escaping.I opened the chest to find two binders filled with papers and a leather bandolier, all of its pockets empty.Well, it was there for the taking. I slipped off my leather jacket, then put on the bandolier so that it would be opposite the coil of rope I had, then I hiked the jacket back on and replaced the rope. There. Now I looked like... well, the gambeson made me look like a marshmallow. A marshmallow with a skirt and a leather jacket.I smiled faintly at the image I must have presented. Far from the competent explorer I hoped to be. Still, it was good enough for now.I picked through the binders absently. The pages within were mostly intact, but all of them seemed like dull reports.I took them anyway. I needed something to keep me company until morning.
Chapter Eight — A Look into the Past
I stayed up late to read. The herbology book was still at the bottom of my backpack, forgotten as I read through ancient reports illuminated by the flickering light of a candle.Report, Seventh of HarvestApprehended drunk bard at Well Inn Good, began a brawl with local musicians over ‘the quality of the music.’ Minor property damage evaluated at two sil, three cop. Confined in cell overnight until sober.-Overseer HardyA bard. Was it Bonesy a long time ago?Report, Eight of HarvestMana fluctuations detected by local mages including alchemist. No sighting of the adventuring party sent out to the Dunwich dungeon.-Overseer HardyA dungeon? Those were a thing here?Report two, Eight of HarvestLarge mana shifts. Felt them myself. Worried someone might have damaged the dungeon core. Guard rotation C spotted someone in the forests in green. Imperials? This far out? It could explain the shifts in local mana. Doubled the guards just in case. Sent a scout to the Dunwich Dungeon.-Overseer HardyThings were getting interesting, very interesting. A dungeon sounded like a neat place to visit, and there was a lot of talk here about mana as if it was a thing that was just... in the air. I wondered if the mana here was thick or thin and if I would be able to tell the difference.Report, Ninth of HarvestDunwich dungeon was destroyed. The shifts in mana are the ley lines snapping apart. Spoke to the mayor. She doesn’t want to evacuate but we have no choice, not with Imperials so close and the mana turning like this. No news of the adventuring team sent out. Still have their bard in a cell. Will release him later.More imperial sightings. Hopefully they’ll let a group of civilians pass unharmed.-Overseer HardyAnd that was it. No more reports, just a few blank pages. So there were ley lines for magic. And Bonesy the Bard had been part of an adventuring group. That was kind of neat! Good on him. Not so good was how he had caused trouble at the Inn. He was just as poorly behaved in life as he was in death.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the skill: Archaeology!I smiled and blew out the candle, then shifted until sleep took me at long last.
* * *
I woke up feeling refreshed. Not at my best, and my tummy still rumbled for food that wasn’t honey, but the pall of depression was lifted and I felt my face twisting back into my usual smile. Then I unleashed a blast of cleaning magic at myself and shivered as mana coursed over my body and clothes. It was like taking a shower but better.Standing up, I stretched, ran through an abridged version of my morning routine (I’d give all of my silver for a toothbrush and paste) then stepped outside after making sure the coast was clear of ghosts.Today was the day I would take on the wraith. But first, I had a church to explore and a sickly sweet breakfast to lick.I strolled across the ghost town, spoon in mouth and attention swivelling around to take in everything. Things had changed in the two short days I had been here. There had been grass when I first came out, but it was brown and feeble and kind of sad. Now bushes were sprouting up everywhere and the grass was thick and lush and vibrant. The entire world seemed more alive, somehow.Was it because there were fewer ghosts?I couldn’t believe that level one monsters were that strong. But then again, the ghosts couldn’t be hurt through normal means. Maybe the animals and such were careful and cautious around them-proving once more than the average animal was smarter than little old me.The church was a stately building, even with fresh vines climbing up its sides and huge holes poked through its stained glass windows. It looked like the kind of place that local weddings would be held in, and where a nice old priest would try to help people with their problems and all the old ladies would gather to trade the juiciest gossip.There was a sense of lost serenity around the building, a sensation that took me a long time to name and would take longer to get used to. It would have felt wrong to scream and shout or fight.I pushed open the front door and slid into the main hall. It was a single large room with rows of wooden benches all facing a trio of stone altars. Dust swirled in the air and the light, most of it pouring through the mosaic windows, coloured the entire room in a spectrum of soft blues and greens and reds.“Hello?” I asked as I moved in. Only silence greeted me. I moved through the room, careful to be as quiet and respectful as I could until I was at the altars. They were all different. Did they practice one faith with many gods here, or were there many religions housed in one church?The first altar had a small stone chalice built into it, with stone grapes and fruit around its base. The second had a carving of an arm holding an axe engraved atop it and the third had a statue of an archway reaching from one side to the other.Strange, disparate symbols with meanings I could only guess at. Most buried under a layer of dust. Three quick flashes of magic cleared the altars, leaving them as the only untouched things in the entire room. A strange dichotomy, maybe.I bowed to the three altars and moved on. There was nothing for me here.According to my map I still had five houses to explore, but I doubted I would find anything incredible there. No, my goal at that moment was to face the wraith and inspect the hole. I could return to exploring at any time after that.The monster was hovering over the opened pit, twisting and turning and writhing in the air as if it was wracked with pain. Pain that it almost seemed to enjoy. Now that I was closer I could hear its delighted howls, the almost ecstatic moans that it made as jolts of... something coursed through it.Whatever the wraith was feeding on came from the hole. Evil mana, maybe? I could only guess.My backpack was left on the doorstep of a nearby home. I took a moment to go over my plan, as simple as it was. I was going to go out and attack the wraith, first with the showerhead-flail I had, then by throwing my magic wand through it. Then, if it was sufficiently distracted, I would use my cleaning spell on it.If things went well that would be enough to clear it out.The very first step though, of course, was to talk to it.Maybe it was a nice evil wraith? “Insight.”An evil wraith, level 2.Maybe not. But I wouldn’t hit someone in the back without at least trying to talk first. Anything else would just be wrong.I sat back and ate another spoonful of honey as I looked over my many skills.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
1
Age
16
Health
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
105
Stamina
115
Mana
105
Resilience
15
Flexibility
20
Magic
10
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
C — 14%
General Skills
Insight
E — 97%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
F — 42%
Archeology
F — 15%
I was quite the warrior it seemed. “Soon,” I whispered in the deepest darkest voice I could manage. It came out squeaky, but it was the thought that counted! “Everyone across all the realms will learn to respect the might of Broccoli the great Cinnamon Bun!”I might have been able to get Insight up another level, but that didn’t feel necessary, or even helpful in a fight. Makeshift weapons would have been a good skill to level, but I wasn’t sure how to do that except to fight some more, and there wasn’t anything left to fight that I had seen so far.Well, ghosts didn’t generally move very fast. I would try against this one and see how things worked out. Worse case, I was an excellent runner.I stepped out into the morning sunlight, makeshift flail hanging by my side, mana topped off at max and a determined frown on my face. I walked over to the evil well of evilness until I was only a few dozen paces away. “Hello!” I called out.The wraith paused in its weird wriggling and turned.My blood ran cold.The wraith screamed.You have heard the screech of a fearsome creature! Your soul is shaken.My breathing hitched and I had a sudden urge to run to the nearest bathroom as the monster tore through the sky towards me. Its hands stretched and shifted, turning into long, scythe-like claws.I snapped out of it just in time to hop backwards and narrowly avoid the first swing. The wraith screamed again, but this time I was a little more ready for it and managed not to pee my skirts. Instead I flung my showerhead flail at the monster and almost fainted when it bounced off its face.The wraith flinched back, face leaking the same plumes of dust the ghosts had, though in far smaller quantities.It spun around and charged at me again.I rolled out of its path, then tossed the magic wand that merely booped its chest and left only the tiniest of wounds.Not enough, not nearly enough.I started spinning the flail around and around until it hummed through the air. The wraith came at me again, its one track mind not terribly suited to thinking, it seemed. My flail crashed into its hand, a spark of magic burst from the impact, the wraith screeched, though now in pain rather than anger.“I’m sorry,” I said as I lunged closer to it and pressed a hand against its chest. “Clean!”My mana dropped, then dropped faster as I poured more and more into the attempt to cleanse the monster. A patch formed around my hand, slowly growing and spreading across its body. First a few centimeters, then a few more in an expanding circle.My mana hit zero.The world shifted, the corners of my vision going blurry as I stumbled back and fell onto my bum.The wraith was twisting and screeching, its one remaining clawed arm trying to push back all of its dusty stuff into the massive tear in its chest. It gave up after a moment and started to move towards the hole. Slower now, much slower than its earlier charge.This was my chance, my opportunity to run back and regroup, to figure out a new strategy and maybe let my mana return to full.I stumbled to my feet and ran after the wraith, for a certain definition of ‘ran.’ My stumbling gait didn’t stop me from spinning my flail again, and when the ghostly monster started to suck at the evil mana it left itself wide open.The flail rammed into and through its body, cutting off its lower half to let it float down and turn to so much dust.It spun around, the back of its claws raking across my face and chest and sending me flying a few feet. “Ouch,” I said as I landed on my back. I wanted to stay there for a moment, but huge claws spearing down at me were enough encouragement that I rolled to the side. Just in time, too, as the talons dug into the ground where I had been.Another smack of the flail, weaker this time and from an awkward angle, was enough to push its hands away. My mana was back to one. One mana.I slapped my hand on its screeching face and fired off my cleaning spell. It was little more than a short lived burst, but that was enough to make it race backwards and give me some room. I scrambled back, then got to my feet.“You are a big, fat meaniehead!” I taunted the monster.It kind of just stared at me angrily. I was going to need to learn the taunt skill one of these days, if that was even a thing.Another spin of my flail ended with the shower head smacking the now weakened wraith again, and again, and again.The fight didn’t end in a glorious moment of triumph, but in a constant beatdown, where I delivered blow after blow to an enemy that was less and less capable of fighting back until, finally...Ding! Congratulations, you have laid ‘The Wraith of Threewells by Darkwood’ Level 2! To rest! Bonus Exp was granted for savaging a monster above your level!
Chapter Nine — Dungeon Dive
Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 2! Health + 5Resilience +5 You have gained: One Class PointYou have unlocked: One Class Skill Slot “A skill slot?” I wondered aloud even as a rush of giddiness washed through me. It was like a faint tingling, first in my skin, then my muscles and the insides of my chest, as if someone had placed me in a microwave on high for a few seconds, but without the exploding.I grinned. I was level two!Normally, that would have been a time of celebration and dancing and such, but I was right next to a giant evil hole in the ground and it kind of felt unwise to make lots of noise while so close to the scary pit.Instead, I looked around, took in the bright sunlight streaming down on the sight of the battlefield where I had fought the wraith and soaked in the sun.The hole didn’t drop straight down, not for more than a meter and a half or so. The passage went on into the dark as some sort of tunnel that I couldn’t see the end of. I was going to need a ladder or else getting out of there would be complicated.Fortunately, I had seen one next to the gardening shed of one of the houses I’d explored. Unfortunately it was all the way across town.There weren’t any other options, so I took a leisurely stroll across town, found the ladder where it had been left, tested the rungs a few times to make sure they could hold my weight, then dragged it all the way back.The moment my foot touched the ground within the hole a prompt appeared before me.You are Entering the Wonderland DungeonDungeon Level 2-4Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?“That sounds like an awful idea,” I said.Dungeon left UnsealedAny Person can Enter Dungeon InstanceAny Person can Exit Dungeon InstanceQuest Updated!The Hole Down UnderAn evil root has plunged into the world.You have entered the Wonderland Dungeon. Explore it. Find the root. Destroy it.I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and counted myself lucky. It felt as if I had dodged a bullet there. Still, level two to four monsters would probably be really tricky to fight. But maybe I didn’t need to fight them?Dropping my backpack, I searched within until I found the silvery candlestick I had looted and a fresh candle. Then I lost a minute or two with the firestarter until the candle lit up with a spark. I replaced the firestarter and stood back up, the candle holder held before me so that the mirror shield it had illuminated the path ahead.The passage was like a borehole, the walls smooth dirt except where the occasional root poked through and the ground tilted down at a slight angle. I tread carefully, always watching where I set my feet in case of traps or pitfalls or anything of the sort. I had read enough about dungeons to know that being careful was the best way to survive them.The path curved a little, then opened up to a large-ish room with a wooden door at one end and a monster in the middle. A torch high up on the wall near the door lit everything up with a warm, orange glow.I froze, taking in the form of a dog-sized rabbit standing on its haunches, milky-white eyes staring at a pocket watch that it, he, held out before him in a big fluffy paw. The rabbit wasn’t normal, not just on account of its size and the fact that it was wearing a tattered waistcoat. Its fur was missing in places and its teeth were showing where the flesh around its mouth was rotted off.I fired off a quick insight as I stood still and wondered what to do.A zombie time rabbit, level 2.I realized that I might be in something of a pickle. Still, I was Broccoli Bunch and Broccoli Bunch was nothing if not polite. “Ah, hello,” I said.The rabbit’s head looked up. Its white eyes locked onto me. The timepiece clicked.Then the rabbit reappeared in the air right before me, both legs already kicking out into my chest.I stumbled back, breath whooshing out of me in gasp as I fell onto my backpack and laid down to stare at the dirt ceiling for a moment. “Ouch,” I said as soon as I had air in my lungs.The timepiece clicked. The rabbit appeared above me.I swept an arm out, hitting the zombie rabbit just hard enough to shove it off to the side and avoid another thumping. Then there was a mad scramble as I slid my arms out of the loops of my backpack and rolled off to the side. I didn’t have any weapons except my cleaning magic, and the rabbit could teleport.It wasn’t looking too good. “Mister rabbit, please stop!” I said.The rabbit turned its white eyes towards me, then pressed on the button next to the timepiece again.This time I rolled out of the way before it even appeared to kick me again. “Okay, okay, Broc, it’s a time travelling zombie bunny rabbit,” I said as I shuffled around the room, constantly moving as I kept an eye on the rabbit. “It’s an evil time travelling zombie bunny rabbit. K-killing it is okay.”The rabbit’s head snapped around to face me, turning way more than its neck should have allowed.The pocket watch clicked. My hand shot out and wrapped around its furry chest a moment after it appeared before me.It was heavy, heavy enough that I ended up backing up and bumping into the wall, but I managed to hang on to it long enough to use my one spell.A wave of cleaning magic tore through the rabbit, its white eyes went glossy and a faint ghostly form shifted out of the body.“Oh, thank goodness,” I said as I let it drop and moved away. That had taken more than a third of my mana, more than a ghost did. But still, it was over. I waited for the ‘ding’ and the experience points to come in.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.The timepiece clicked.Spinning around, I found the rabbit back in the middle of the room, its head turned towards me with its white eyes set in a glare. “Oh no.”The rabbit bounced across the floor in a straight path for me. I tried to move away, but the room was far too small, so I did the only thing I could think of. I jumped over the rabbit.Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Jumping!“Not now!” I told the infobox.The rabbit was slow to turn around, which was just what I needed. My hand locked around the timepiece and tore it out of its grip to send it flying against the nearest wall where it burst apart. Then came another wave of cleaning magic.Ding! Congratulations, you have stuffed a ‘Undead White Rabbit Time Mage’ Level 2!I shuffled away from the body of the rabbit as it started to dissolve into motes of whitish light that left nothing behind, even the bits of its timepiece fading away. “I’m sorry,” I said before using a bit of mana to clean off my hands. A clink sounded and a key appeared on the ground where the rabbit had been.Mana 19/105That wasn’t very good. I hoped that Dungeon monsters didn’t respawn, then I felt bad for calling the rabbit a monster. Sure, it was a time travelling zombie rabbit, but I was the one invading its house. I bet that it used to be a very nice rabbit before it went all zombie and mean.Maybe that’s what the quest was about: Destroy the root of evil in this dungeon and allow it to become a less evil place? It made a sort of sense.I stared down at my hands, my perfectly clean hands, made that way thanks to some magic and not any effort of my own. Hands that I felt should have been at least a little dirty.I wasn’t some crusader, or the person who got to decide what was right and wrong. I had been asked, by something, to come rid the world of something evil, and that’s what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to compromise my morality to do it.My hands clenched into fists. “So I won’t,” I decided. I had made friends with all sorts of people already. And maybe I could make even more in this dungeon. Maybe it was an evil place and I couldn’t. I didn’t know yet, but I would learn and I would ask the people I met to be friends first before I ever raised a fist against them.I nodded. “Right!” My choice was... not made, because that had been my path already, but reaffirmed.JumpingRank F — 00%The ability to jump. As this skill rises in level your ability to jump will improve!A glance at my new skill didn’t reveal all that much. It wasn’t... well, it wasn’t Fireball. Jumping could be useful... maybe? For getting to high places?“My skills are really lame,” I whined.Still, it was a skill, and at rank F it wasn’t that handy. I skipped over to the door, then looked at the experience change. It had gone up a full percent. Maybe I could grind it here before moving on, then. I had another skill that was nearly at the next level too.The door to the next area had a large lock on it. It didn’t take a genius to see that it was the key that had dropped from the rabbit. Next to the door was a little table with a potion bottle and a cake on it. The cake had ‘EAT ME’ written on it in big letters, the bottle had a small tag with ‘DRINK THIS’ scribbled on it. I fired off two quick Insights.“Is that... is that an Alice in Wonderland reference?” I asked aloud. “Insight.”A poisoned cakeA poisoned shrinking potionI eyed the cake and the potion, then carefully took the potion and brought it back to my backpack to tuck it away. There was a chance it would come in handy later. Then I checked my notifications.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Insight skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!That was an easy choice to make.InsightRank D — 00%The Ability to know something. The knowledge you gain is further increased.I stretched, jumped on the spot a few times, then looked to the door as I slid my backpack back on. I didn’t know how ready I was to face off the rest of the dungeon, but I wouldn’t learn that until I tried. I got my makeshift flail ready, just in case I ran into more zombies or ghosts, then unlocked the door to step out into the rest of the dungeon.My breath caught.The passageway continued for a few feet, then opened up onto a railless balcony overlooking a large hole. It was maybe ten or twenty meters wide, with an opened top that revealed the bright green sky above. There were other platforms at different levels, with huge, bulbous mushrooms growing in a spiraling ring all around the sides of the shaft. It seemed as if the level I was on was the highest one around.It was pretty, with glowing moss along the walls, little trees sticking out here and there with huge caterpillars on them and pretty pink clouds floating above. Pretty, surreal, and nothing like the world I had left when I entered the dungeon.“Whoa,” I said as I moved to the edge of the ledge and looked down. Every quarter turn of the shaft had a hole drilled into the wall, some with elaborate arches, others quite plain. All the way down to the bottom where a field of grass was waiting and a large vine-covered archway. It would have looked idyllic if the pervasive sense of wrong wasn’t so strong whenever I looked at the tunnel behind that arch.That had to be my objective then.And the only way to reach it was to jump from mushroom to mushroom. Maybe Jumping wasn’t a waste of skill after all.
Chapter Ten — Mushroom Hop
I stood at the very edge of the balcony and looked down at the big mushroom just a few feet down. A few feet down and a few feet away. And between me and the big fluffy looking mushroom was a two storey drop to a rocky field.“Okay, it’s okay, it’s obviously a path,” I said to myself as I looked at all the big bouncy-looking mushrooms all lined up in a curve that led to the next platform down. This was a... risk.And risks could be bad.I shook my head, then unwound one of my ropes. It was more than long enough to make it from where I was to the next platform. I created a loop, set a knot into it, and hung the rope off of a rocky outcropping. A few really hard tugs without so much as a creak and I figured it could hold my weight.Then I tied the rope around my waist. If I fell it would hurt. Hitting the ground all the way down would hurt more.I jumped on the spot a few times to unlimber myself, made sure that my backpack was nice and snug, then I jumped.I didn’t expect the mushroom to deflate on landing, then burst back to its full size.My knees shot up into my chest and I barely had time to kick at the next mushroom down.I landed on the third bum-first with a scream that echoed across the dungeon. I managed to flip once, my backpack flopping around, my legs kicking out to find purchase. My hand scraped the wall and I belly flopped onto the fourth mushroom down.It shot me back into the air where I had plenty of time to see the platform coming before I landed on it face first.“Ouch,” I said as I laid on the ground, cheek pressed down, butt in the air and knees and wrists lancing with pain. That had been, I decided, a horrible idea. A no-good, very bad, super dumb idea.Health 107/110I climbed to my hands and knees, straightened my skirt back down from where it had flipped, then crawled away from the edge when one foot slipped over it. “Nope,” I said. “Not until Jumping is way higher.”I took a moment to relax and calm my racing heart, then stood up and undid the rope around my waist. I tied it to a rock and took in my surroundings.There wasn't much to see. This ledge was about half a floor lower than the entrance ledge with a rocky archway filled with vines that partially hid a wooden door. The ground was one large slab of stone with a small sconce at the end with an unlit brazier on it. There was a sign hanging from the door, I cleared the vines before it.Out for tea-Maddy the HatterDid someone live here? Just in case, I knocked carefully on the door and waited a moment. When no answer came after my third knock I opened the door and looked within. “Hello?”The inside was a corridor. The ground packed earth, the walls were rough stone that might have been chiseled to be a little more uniform, but not enough to prevent creeping vines from climbing all the way up to the ceiling.A few glyph-covered stones hung in little iron cages, the rocks glowing blue and green and red and lighting up the corridor quite nicely.I checked for traps, wished I had a ten foot pole, then moved in. Nothing shot out of the walls, there were no time travelling critters and I couldn’t hear anything except for a faint and distant clicking.Careful not to make too much noise, I retrieved my showerhead flail and held it close by my side as I moved on.The corridor opened up to a field of sorts, a small hill surrounded on three sides by hedges that climbed up and up and up. The green sky had three bright suns in it, all of them carefully moving around and making the entire area bright and cheery while throwing my shadow around in weird ways.A large door stood open on the far hedge, some twenty meters away. And between me and that door, right atop the hill, was a large skeleton sitting with his legs sprawled out. He had an upside-down tophat on his head and was bringing a tea cup up against his mouth with a faint clinking noise.Two animals sat next to him on a blanket laid out atop the hill. One was a calico cat, with patches of fur missing, the other a long green snake that was missing an eye and quite a few scales.“Hello!” I said as I waved to the group. “Ah, it’s a nice afternoon for tea, isn’t it?”The skeleton stared at me without any eyes to see. His long legs gathered up to his chest and his toes dug into the blanket before he stood up straight and tall.“Insight,” I whispered as I took in the three before me.Maddy the Hatter, Skeleton Milliner, level 4Zombie snake, level 2Zombie cat, level 2I smiled at Maddy. “Do you like tea?” I asked. It seemed like a good place to start a conversation. He could invite me to tea, and I had some honey to share, and we could chit and chat and become the best of friends.Maddy threw his cup to the ground where it shattered. The door behind me shut with a dull boom and the clunk of a lock engaging sounded out.Reaching up, the skeleton removed his hat and reached an arm into it. Out came a big floppy wizard’s hat, all purple and covered with uneven yellow stars. He placed the hat atop the snake. Then he pulled out a second hat, a nurse’s cap with a big red cross on the front which he slapped onto the cat’s head.“Um?” I asked.Zombie Hedge Wizard snake, level 2Zombie Nursing cat, level 2“Oh,” I said. “That’s really neat!”Maddy spun on a heel, quite literally, and stomped off the hill, slamming the door in the hedge behind him with a loud clatter and bang.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.“Did I say something wrong?” I asked the almost-cute zombie animals.The snake opened its mouth wide and a fireball shot out of it.I ‘eeped’ and hopped over the rather slow-moving projectile and heard it boom against the wall behind me. Then it opened its mouth again and a second fireball started to form.“Oh, shoot.”At least this time I knew what to do.I tossed my backpack off and started running and jumped over another fireball. They weren’t very big, and they only moved as fast as a dodgeball thrown by, well, me. Easy enough to avoid. But they were fireballs.I started spinning my flail around. I didn’t have all that much mana, not enough for two zombies as tough as the time rabbit at least. There was a pattern to the fireballs. They would launch, then slow down once they were a few feet from the snake. Then it would close its mouth, stare at me, and ready the next one.A pattern!I waited for the next fireball which I somewhat nimbly sidestepped, the warmth of it washing past me as if I had walked by an open oven but with less cookies and more fiery death. The moment the snake closed his mouth I rushed up the hill and brought my flail down.It smacked the snake right on the head like a very hard, very rude boop.“Hah!” I shouted before reaching down to pull out my knife. I didn’t want to do it, but it seemed as if I had no choice. At least I could reason that you couldn’t kill something that was already dead.A blur of white barreled into me, claws swinging this way and that with a cattish howl that sent me tumbling bum over teakettle down the hill. When I regained my feet it was to find the zombie snake completely healed... well, mostly healed, it was still very dead, but now bandages were wrapped around it and it had a few plasters on its snout.I took a moment to regroup while the snake shook its head and glared at me with its one eye. I had overlooked the calico, which was apparently a very bad idea. There was a clear theme here. The hats gave the zombies classes or something similar. No wonder Maddy was level four!The snake was a wizard, which meant fireballs for days. The calico cat was a nurse, which meant healing and first aid for the snake.That made everything a whole lot harder.I had to focus on the healer.With a huff, I picked up my flail and charged for the cat, only to pause as I had to jump over a fresh fireball. And that, right there, explained their gimmick. If I ran after the cat the snake would pelt me with fireballs. Focus the snake and the cat would hit me instead.Tricksy zombie animals were not my forte.I charged after the nurse cat who turned tail and darted away, moving faster and slower as if to bait me into getting hit by one of the fireballs raining down on me. Then, the moment the latest fireball shot past, I turned and hopped up the hill in three bounds and brought my flail down on the snake again.As expected, there was a screeching yowl and a ball of angry kitty shot towards me.So I hugged it.“Cleaning hug!” I shouted, because attack names are important. A bit of mana left me and washed over the kitty.Ding! Congratulations, you have eliminated Zombie Nursing cat, level 2!I wanted to whoop in delight as a ghostly cat purred out of the nurse, but then a fireball struck me in the chest and I went rolling down the hill again.This time the snake was playing for keeps. Fireballs, much smaller than before were raining down towards me, each one moving way faster than the big cumbersome ones from before.I ran, breath catching in my throat as I panted and patted down my chest. The gambeson and leather coat were singed and smoking a little but they weren’t too damaged.I ran over to a large stone off to one side, jumped over it, and landed in a crouch that ended with my back pressed against the cool rock and my chest heaving.That had been... well it had been terrifying.The snap and crackle of fireballs hitting the stone stopped a moment later. “Are you done, mister snake?” I asked. “I really don’t want to have to fight.”I dropped my flail for a moment, tugged my knife out of its sheath and transferred it to my left hand before grabbing my flail again. Maybe I could throw the knife at the snake and distract it?I checked my menus for anything handy and was surprised to find a message waiting for me.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Jumping skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!“That was fast.” Maybe dodging fireballs gave more experience than just skipping around?Congratulations! Jumping is now Rank E!JumpingRank E — 00%The ability to jump. You can now jump farther and higher than before.I was about to dig into that when a hiss sounded from right above me. I looked up to find the snake with its floppy wizard hat staring down at me, mouth opened and fireball growing.My knife-wielding hand shot up and the sharp steel dug into the monster’s palate.I cringed back as the snake flopped around, then began to turn to dust. The hat glowed and disappeared with a soap-bubble pop.I leaned my head back against the stone, eyes closed as adrenaline coursed through me.“Note to self: snakes are sneaky.”
Chapter Eleven — Wearing Many Hats
I didn’t get any loot from the snake and cat, but I did pack up the blanket that had been on the hill. It was nice and thick and smelled like freshly cut grass, and no one knew when they might need a towel.I checked my status while rolling up the blanket.Health 101/110Stamina 115/115Mana 22/105My health and mana both went up by about one a minute. That didn’t mean that I could survive being dropped to one health. When I’d been cut before I was aware of my health dropping by a point or two before going back up. That probably meant that the number was an indicator of health, not some ephemeral... thing tied to me.Still, I was healing faster in this world than back home, and I didn’t have any skills associated with it, so that was probably normal.The door to the exit hadn’t unlocked, which only left one way to go.Before running off though, I took a moment to find a decently flat rock and a sheet of paper from my backpack and some coal with a sharp tip.
Soon enough I had a somewhat rough map of the dungeon so far. Now I couldn’t get lost! Or if I did get lost I could ask someone how to get to the exit and use the map for reference. I just hoped that zombie animals couldn’t read, the last thing the world needed was an invasion of zombie critters.I rolled up my map and stuffed it in my sack. Out came a jar of honey and I had lunch while enjoying the surreal triple suns above for a few minutes.Health 107/110Stamina 115/115Mana 28/105“It’ll have to do,” I said as I got up. This time I faced the door equipped for battle. Flail in one hand, free hand on the knife I moved to my bandoleer, and eyes narrowed like Clint Eastwood just before he called someone a bad word.I pushed open the door in the hedges and peeked in. There was another corridor, this one surrounded by hedges on both sides and with a cobblestone path down the centre.No signs of the mean skeleton with the hats, or of any zombie critters.I stepped in and looked around. There didn’t seem to be any traps, but the hedges could hide anything and the cobbles looked too much like pressure plates for my liking. I stuck to walking on the grass for now.The path veered off to the right after a little bit then took a sharp turn. I stopped and stared. The hedges shrunk. They went from towering walls of green to being no higher than my hip in the space of three steps.That was interesting, but what was far more arresting was what I could see in the distance. Water. An entire ocean of water as far as the eye could see.I was on an island, with not too distant shores where the sea was smacking against stones and there was a small cottage-like home a few hundred meters away. Or maybe it was closer? It looked... off.The hedges around me formed a short wall around a garden with flowers and ponds and large, decorative rocks. But everything was tiny. The biggest flower was no bigger than my pinkie, the trees along the edges were only a bit taller than I was and the pond could be walked over.In the centre of it all was Maddy, sitting at a white, wrought-iron table that barely reached his shins. The skeleton held a minuscule teacup by its mouth as it sat on a chair that looked like it had been made for dolls, not people.There were three other guests at the table. A large hedgehog, a big ol’ tortoise and a shetland pony. Each zombie had a small teacup before them.“Hello,” I said. “Or, ah, maybe I should say ‘rarr?’ That’s in skeleton, right?”I might have said something offensive because Maddy stood up and flipped the tiny table right over the tortoise’s head, the tiny teapot cracking and breaking across the glass with a tinkle that filled the sudden, awkward silence. He reached up into his hat and pulled out three more bits of headwear.“Oh no,” I said as he placed one on each zombie animal’s head.The hedgehog got a chef’s hat, the pony a bright yellow construction helmet and the tortoise had its head wrapped in ninja bandages with a forehead protector at the front, one that had a sideways chess piece on it.“I didn’t come here to fight!” I said.Maddy the skeleton didn’t seem to care. He got up and stomped off towards the home, arriving at it sooner than he should have. He reached way up, grabbed the handle and opened the door. A moment later it slammed shut.The zombie animals all turned around until I could see the milky white of their eyes.Zombie Chef hedgehog, level 2Zombie Construction pony, level 2Zombie Ninja tortoise, level 2“Oh no,” I said as they started to move. The pony clip-clopped away from me before it disappeared behind a row of hedges. The hedgehog began to move towards me with a slow, waddling gait and the tortoise...Something grabbed me by the back of the ankle, then squeezed.I screamed and kicked out my foot, sending the tortoise flying across the garden. It had snuck up on me. Then again, it was a ninja. I was going to have to keep an eye out for sneak attacks.My backpack fell with a clunk and I began to backpedal away from the advancing hedgehog. It was only about the size of a smaller dog, but that still brought it up to my shin, and with everything else in the garden looking so tiny it looked formidable indeed.Kicking it seemed like a bad idea. It was missing plenty of its quills, but I was sure it wouldn’t feel good to try and punt it away.I started spinning my flail around and around until I felt it brushing against the hedge wall behind me. “Mister hedgehog, I’m warning you,” I said. “I’m going to smack you if you don’t stop moving close to me.”The hedgehog kept shuffling forwards.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.My flail swung around and thunked unto the hedgehog with a yucky crunching sound.Then it caught on fire. I pulled my flail back and looked away from the mess it had made of mister hedgehog. Zombies were not very tough, not even zombie hedgehogsDing! Congratulations, you have cooked Zombie Chef hedgehog, level 2!That was nice and good, but now I had to deal with a flail that was on fire. Swinging it around only seemed to make it worse, the cord that made up the chain of it burning more and more. Soon it was going to burn up completely and I’d be left weaponless. The pond! I just had to-That’s when a spinning green disk flew out of a hedge and cracked against the back of my knees.I fell onto my back with an ‘oomph’ and saw the tortoise crawling away at a tortoise-y pace to go hide under a hedge.“Not, nice,” I coughed as I got back to my feet. That had hurt, but it hadn’t injured me, at least.A glance to the side showed that my flail wasn’t much of a flail anymore. The showerhead was warped a bit, the stone within cracked and the rope was still burning, what was left of it, at least. I had taken out one of the three zombies, but at an incredible cost.There was a distant clunk-clunk sound that had me getting up a whole lot faster. Just in time too, as a rock the size of my head landed where I had been laying.I started looking around, trying to trace the source of the sound. It was probably why I caught the tortoise slowly sneaking up behind me with a gardening trowel in its mouth. A very sharp-looking trowel.“Oh no you don’t!” I said as I ran over to the ninja tortoise and jumped.Both feet crashed into the tortoise’s back, squishing it flat before I bounced off. A quick spin around and I got ready to do the same thing again when, with a poof, three more tortoises appeared.“Clones,” I growled. I was getting very very miffed about all this running around and trying to kill me stuff. It had stopped being funny. I took a running leap and stomped first one clone, then the next, then the next, bouncing from one shell to the next like an Italian plumber.Three of the clones poofed away, then the final tortoise began to fade into motes.Ding! Congratulations, you have assassinated Zombie Ninja tortoise, level 2!Two down.It wasn’t a nice feeling, knowing that killing these poor zombies was becoming so routine. Well, not routine, but common. The ghosts were different, less tangible and more obviously evil. These critters were kind of cute if I ignored the smell of rotting meat around them and the more zombie-ish parts of their anatomy. Cute animals missing an ear were still cute. Cute animals with hanging entrails... not so much.Something went ‘clunk-clunk’ again and I dove to the side. A moment later a rock flew past where I had been standing, impacted the ground with a dull thud, then bounced into the pond with a splash.I looked in the direction the rock had come from and saw a wooden pole swinging back down behind a hedge.“I saw you!” I said as I ran over. I had my knife out, but really, really hoped that I could talk to the pony because stabbing a cute little zombie pony would be like stabbing my childhood and that just wasn’t cool.I rounded a hedge and skid to a stop.The pony, yellow hat and all, was standing next to a trebuchet, and before it, pointing right at me, was a ballista.I never backpedaled so fast in my life.The ballista fired with a ‘twang’ and a blur shot past me and into the distance. “Look, mister pony, I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re not giving me any choice here,” I said.The sounds of what I suspect was a ballista being reloaded filtered over to me. No good.I wasn’t about to run back around the hedge, which left up and over the only option. With a running start, I charged towards the hedge and leapt into the air. My skill must have helped, either making my legs supernaturally strong or telling gravity to mind its own business for a moment, because I moved as if I had just bounced off a springboard.A wide-eyed pony looked up a moment before I crashed into it feet first. By the time I had recovered from my jump the pony was only a memory.Ding! Congratulations, you have demolished Zombie Construction pony, level 2!Part of me wanted to cheer, to jump and skip and be super happy that I had won another fight. I tamped down on that little voice, stood back up and bowed towards where the zombie pony had been. “I’m sorry,” I said.Being happy over the death of something, even something already mostly dead, wasn’t cool.I looked around the garden once I was done paying my respects and found that my efforts had been rewarded. Where the zombie ninja tortoise had faded away was a hat. It looked like an old British soldier’s helmet, with a dome in the middle, a large flat brim and a turtle-pattern all across its surface. A pair of leather straps under it showed how it was meant to hang on to the wearer’s head, and the inside was padded with more leather.“Thank you,” I said to the zombie tortoise, even if it couldn’t hear me.Shelled kettle hat, new.My new hat was quite comfortable once it was strapped down nice and tight. I’m sure I made for a dashing figure. I wiggled my head a little to make sure everything was neat and fit right, then hopped on the spot a few times to make sure it wouldn’t just fly off my head. It seemed nice.Which meant it was time for me to continue on my adventure.A bit of exploration around the garden revealed that the entrance had locked behind me already. There wasn’t anything else on the island except for the massively oversized house in its middle.Health 110/110Stamina 115/115Mana 39/105Not nearly as good as I wanted, but it would have to do.I picked up my backpack, holding it by the straps, then reached up and turned the door handle.
Chapter Twelve — Tea Time
The door opened with a long, low creak to reveal a room that immediately made me feel tiny. It was a living room that could have belonged to any one of the homes I had recently explored in Threewells. There was a rotting carpet on the ground, chairs with missing legs placed around a stone fireplace, a few tables and shelves that were covered in dust and no lack of rotting refuse just piled into the corners.Where things got strange was when I stepped in and actually took in the size of everything. I could have fit three Broccolis side by side on any one of the chairs, the ceiling was five meters above and even the smallest table stopped next to my shoulders.I felt like a mouse that had wandered into a bear’s den.Slowly, carefully, I lowered my backpack next to the door then moved in. I had my knife by my side, even though I didn’t really know how-or even wanted to-use it, and my other hand tingled with cleaning magic just waiting to be released. I was crossing the entrance to a bedroom, the door left ajar, when the entrance door slammed shut.I ‘eeked’ and jumped five feet up and nearly lost my heart from the fright. I crouched and hoped that nothing was going to pop up to eat me. It took some time for my heart to decide that it wanted to stay in my chest.The bedroom was clear, though the bed itself was big enough for an entire family to sleep on and I could easily crawl under it on my hands and knees if I wanted. There wasn’t anything there for me, so I moved on.I found Maddy the mad skeleton sitting in the dining room. Only his head and shoulders stood out above the tall table, and his feet dangled a foot off the ground where he was perched on the edge of an enormous chair. Three more zombie animals were at the table. A red furred fox, a sickly goat and a big fork-tongued lizard.Maddy was trying, in vain, to lift a kettle the size of his torso up when he saw me enter.“Hello, Maddy,” I said.There were no doors here, no place for Maddy to escape to. Something told me that this was the end of the line for one of us.The skeleton stood up onto his chair, then climbed atop the table with more alacrity than I thought a skeleton ought to have. He yanked his hat off, and from its depths pulled out three more hats.“Oh no,” I said as I started to run.A large wig landed on the zombie fox’s head just as I reached the creature and yanked at its tail. It flopped to the ground with a clatter, a gavel spinning out of its mouth a moment before I goomba stomped it flat.Ding! Congratulations, you have rendered the final judgement on Zombie Judge fox, level 2!The other two zombie animals landed with a clatter of hooves and a... bounce?I turned and fired off two quick Insights before taking them in with my own eyes.A zombie Viking goat, level two.A zombie Clown lizard, level two.The goat had a big red helmet on, two large horns that were definitely not goat-like sticking out of the sides and a round shield was strapped to its back.The lizard...I stared at the clown makeup slathered with more enthusiasm than skill across the lizard’s green scales and the big honking nose on the end of its snout. A red wig sat atop its head, wobbling to and fro as the lizard balanced on its hindlegs atop a big, multi-coloured ball.“That doesn’t even make sense,” I said.They charged. There was no gimmick here, no tricksy trick. The goat lowered its head and charged right at me and the lizard followed suit.I spun on my heel and dashed back towards the living room, narrowly avoiding a thrown knife that sunk into the doorway with a dull thunk as I passed it. The lizard was juggling knives and that wasn’t fair!The goat’s hooves skittered across the ground as it turned the corner, losing enough traction that the lizard overtook it on its huge ball.I darted into the bedroom, then ducked behind the door. A moment later the lizard zoomed into the room. “Got you!” I said as I moved out, pulling the door shut behind me and feeling a wave of satisfaction wash over me as it clicked shut.The satisfaction left when a hard head rammed into my tummy and sent me flying.I landed with a roll, coughing for all I was worth as the goat, only visible from the corner of my eye, backed away and stomped a hoof like a bull after a matador.Health 93/110That had taken a chunk out of me. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stand again, and I had lost my knife somewhere after being punted. Hooves clattering on wood announced the goat’s next charge.I rolled, just barely avoiding the attack that had the zombie slowing down and turning to face me again. “You made one mistake, mister Goat,” I said as I got onto shaky legs. “You left your gate open.”Spinning around, I ran back towards the dining room.The goat followed.When it sounded close I ducked to the side and saw it shoot past me and deeper into the living room. That was my chance! I darted into the dining room, ran to one of the chairs and with both hands on the edge of it, jumped.I landed in a crouch on the edge of the chair and had only just gotten my balance back when the goat rammed one of the legs. The crunch of rotten wood giving way sounded out and the entire platform shook and started to tumble to the side.I ran, gaining some momentum before I jumped and, with an arm over the edge to help me up, managed to roll onto the table then onto my feet.Maddy was standing across from me, something akin to surprise on his skeletal face. “Now what?” I asked him.The goat bleeted angrily below and I heard it move to another chair. It might be able to climb up, which didn’t leave me much time. It was my turn to charge at an adversary. Maddy reached into his hat and pulled out all sorts of hats that he flung at me. Shakos and cowboy hats and police caps. All dodged or batted away until, finally, I was in front of the mad hatter and slapped him hard across the chest.“Clean!” I screamed.Magic, all the magic I had left, poured into the skeleton.I took a couple of steps back, wary and uncertain.Maddy placed his top hat back on, then tipped it to me a moment before he and his hats began to fade into motes of light.Ding! Congratulations, you have wiped three opponents (‘Zombie Viking goat,’ level 2. ‘Zombie Clown lizard,’ level 2. ‘Maddy the Hatter, Skeleton Milliner,’ level 4)! Bonus Exp was granted for cleaning a monster above your level!“Heh, got all of them!” I cheered as Maddy faded away completely. A teacup and kettle landed where he had fallen.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 3!Stamina +10Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Woo!” I cheered as wonderful little tingles ran up my spine and made me feel light as a feather. I was still tired, the constant fighting and adrenaline taking their toll, but I was also energized by my victory. It was a strange feeling, but one I welcomed.Dungeon Alert:First Floor Boss Defeated. 24 hours until respawn.Second Floor Unlocked.“Even better!”Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Jumping skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!JumpingRank D — 00%The Ability to jump. Your reflexes and timing for jumps has increased. You can now jump higher and farther.And the giddiness just grew as more gifts were rained down onto me. I calmed down a moment of two later, my tiredness catching up to me. Seeing that Maddy was just a construct helped a lot.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.I suppose it meant that I could leave and return and fight all of the same monsters again and again. If I recalled books with dungeons though, there would be new tricks and traps next time, and being overconfident could lead to me walking right into a pile of trouble. Also, Maddie’s hats felt... randomly assigned. Maybe I would get a really poor match-up next time.It was probably best that I learn when to quit and when to move on.Next was checking out my loot.An enchanted teacup, newAn enchanted teapot, newNot as handy as my awesome new hat, but they might be valuable. The cup and kettle were both a beige colour, with tiny animals etched into the side. They looked... well, they were tiny zombie animals, but maybe someone that didn’t know would think they were just poorly drawn.I held my prizes close to my chest and started trekking over towards the door when everything wiggled and waved and the world spun. Then, between one blink and the next, I was at the entrance of the level, back to the door that still had Maddy’s sign on it and front facing the drop in the middle of the dungeon.“Oh,” I said. A look down showed my backpack, unceremoniously dumped by my side, and my teacup and pot were both still pressed against my chest. Even my knife was returned to me, left on the ground by my foot. “That was kind. Thank you dungeon!” I said.No response came.I decided that a break was in order and settled down next to the wall with my back to it. Out came the honey jar and a spoon and soon I was lick-licking my way through a tasty and well-earned treat.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
3
Age
16
Health
110
Stamina
125
Mana
105
Resilience
20
Flexibility
25
Magic
10
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
C — 76%
Jumping
D — 00%
General Skills
Insight
D — 48%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
F — 72%
Archeology
F — 35%
“Hrm, my Cleaning skill is getting close to Rank B. That might be handy. And Jumping is actually pretty nifty. I look forward to getting it up to C to find out what it does! What do you think, mister Menu?” I asked.The box didn’t say anything, but I like to think that it appreciated the attention.Then my eyes alighted on my race and I stared. “Well, that’s new,” I said. Or was it? Had I just not been paying attention last time? Did it matter at all? I was going to have to ask someone the next time I found myself in a more civilised place.I finished up my honey a few minutes later and pulled out a bottle of lukewarm water to sip at, then just kind of sat back and relaxed. I was getting the hang of the adventurer’s life. At least, I hoped I was.The future had so much in store here! I was going to become super strong and respected and I was going to make a ton of friends and one day I’d ride a dragon. I smiled as I leaned my head back against the wall and just let my imagination run wild...A distant whisper of wind startled me awake and I looked around bleary eyed. There wasn’t anyone around, just the huge empty dungeon.I climbed back to my feet, legs kind of ache-y from the way I had been sitting back until I stretched and tried to get my blood flowing again.Health 110/110Stamina 125/125Mana 105/105“At least my nap wasn’t all bed, huh?” I asked my status menu while hiding a grin behind a hand.It must have been shy because it popped away soon after. The poor thing. This time my trip down the mushroom path was as easy as pie. I could feel the difference the rank up had made with my jumping skill. It was so much easier to guess when the exact right moment to land would come up and when and how to bend my knees and shift my weight just so.I landed with a huge smile on my face and skipped over to the second door of the dungeon. It was time to move onto the next part of the adventure!
Chapter Thirteen — Off With Her Head
I stepped into the next room of the dungeon, my eyes roaming across clean stone floors and walls decorated with banners of red and black, each with a different symbol piece on its surface. A heart, a diamond, a club and a spade. The room led to a smaller door that had a sign hanging next to it.Doth not disturbe-By the royal decree of the Queene of Hearts“Well, that’s ominous,” I said. I wasn’t going to knock if they didn’t want to be disturbed, but I doubted just standing around was going to do me any good. I carefully opened the door (the sign didn’t say I couldn’t go in, only that I couldn’t cause a disturbance) and peeked around.It was a courtroom, with balconies along the sides looking down at a box where the guilty could stand. Off to one side of the main floor was a large guillotine and next to that the judge’s platform. The door opened onto the balcony level, where they circled around the entire courtroom. There were people!Well, not people-people. The room was filled with four dozen square people, each one very thin but quite large and dressed in either black or red. I saw spears and swords hanging from hips or standing by their sides. They looked like playing cards with arms and legs and heads sticking out.In the judge’s area below was an ostentatious throne on which a large woman sat, her head covered in an elaborate red wig with a pair of crowns on it with plenty of little hearts. Before her, in the box reserved for the guilty was a younger looking person with the same bodily dimensions. He was unarmed, hands manacled together by large chainsIt didn’t take a genius to figure out what was happening here, the jack was being judged by the queen for having committed some crime.A few of the people turned my way when the door clicked shut behind me. I froze, then waved while smiling sheepishly. They turned back to watch the show.People that didn’t instantly want to kill me!I moved over as quietly as I could and found a spot where I could look over the rails while keeping a few feet’s distance between me and the others.“Sir Jack of Spades,” the queen said in a high-pitched voice like a mom calling a kid that was on the second floor. “You are accused of the crime of grand theft cake. How do you plead?”The Jack of Spades stood up tall and proud. “I plead... not guilty.”“Then you’re a liar then?” the queen asked in the same high tones. She picked up a fan and began waving it towards her face. A face smeared in what looked a lot like cake.“I am not, your Majesty. I am a loyal Jack.”“Then how, pray tell, did my cake go missing. It was by my side, and then it was not. Were you not guarding my person?” she asked.“I was, your majesty, and no one approached you or the royal confectionary.”“Then where, is, my, cake?” the queen asked as she snapped her fan shut and pointed it quite dramatically at the Jack.“Your majesty,” the Jack said. “I suspect you ate it.”A gasp sounded out across the entire courtroom.What? I could see the cake stains all over her face from where I stood. This entire thing was obviously a sham! But then, should I really interfere?“Off! Off with his head!” the queen shouted.“Wait!” I called out.My voice quieted all the murmurs and I suddenly found myself the centre of a whole lot of attention. I swallowed and inspected the nearest person just in case.A Cardstock Man, Three of Hearts, level 2.Not too strong, but there were so many. I couldn’t stand against them. The smart thing to do would be to apologize and stay quiet.The smart thing.But not the right thing.“I think that the Jack of Spades is innocent!” I called.“Innocent? Innocent!” the queen shouted. “Come down here, fool child, and stand before me so that I might see your fool face!”I huffed, screwed up my courage, and leapt off the ledge. I sailed through the air for a couple of long seconds before landing and rolling to bleed off momentum. I got to my feet and stood before the queen.She looked a lot taller from the ground floor with her imposing throne around her. Not that she was tall, all the cardstock people were pretty short, the tallest one was barely as tall as I was.The queen seemed to notice as much. “Ace! Bring out the measuring staff. This interloper seems... tall for this courtroom.”“Is that a problem?” I asked.“The law dictates that none who are taller than the staff of judgement may stand within this room and be suffered to live,” the queen said. “Foolish girl child, you ought to know your place.”I was nervous for a moment as a Cardstock person walked over to me, but when he placed the staff next to me it was clear that I was a few centimeters shorter.The queen’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded and waved the Ace away. “Very well, plead the case of the Jack. Plead it well and perhaps he, and you, shall leave this place unharmed.”“I...” I paused to swallow. I couldn’t just point to her face and say the cake was still there. “Your most majestic of majesties. It is difficult to prove a negative, so I will suggest an alternative sentencing. If the queen has her cake, does the Jack truly deserve to lose his head?”The queen considered that for a moment. “Yes, yes he does, for having taken the cake in the first place.”“Ah, okay then,” I said.“So you’re willing to stand aside and allow this fool to be judged properly?” the queen said, her voice reaching whole new levels of haughty.If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.“What if I bring the queen a replacement cake?” I asked.The queen’s eyes lit up. “A replacement, you say.”“Yes, your majesty. A cake unlike any to be found in your hallowed halls.”The queen set aside her fan and picked up a gavel which she banged onto the arm of her throne a few times. “Very well! The court shall recess for one hour! Upon the end of which either a new cake shall be eaten, or you will both be judged as cake thieves of the highest order, and will lose your heads!”I swallowed and shot an insight at the queen.The Cardstock Queen of Hearts, Level 3.Tough. Not as dangerous as Maddy, according to whatever gave things levels, but dangerous all the same. And she had guards and a whole kingdom at her beck and call.“I’ll be back!” I said.This time I took the stairs and shot out of the room, only just picking up my backpack on the way out.My plan was simple, but it relied on a few things that I wasn’t certain about. Notably, that I could return to the courtroom without having to refight the first floor boss Maddy all over again. The mushrooms were a bit tricky, but with my newfound jumping skills I made it up with little trouble. Then it was through the entrance where I found no time-travel bunnies but I did find a plate with a cake on it. A cake with the words Eat-Me written on them.I sniffed the cake, and poked a corner with a pinkie. It was nice and moist still. A cleaning spell took care of my dirty finger for one whole point of mana.A poisoned cake of enlargening.It... wasn’t a deadly poison then. Still... yes, there was a solution there. One that the dungeon has obviously planned with this cake at its centre. It was like a big puzzle! I wondered if there was a similar solution to Maddy’s part of the dungeon that I had just missed.The return trip was a lot harder. Balancing a cake while bouncing around was no easy feat. Still, I made it to the courtroom door and opened it with an elbow, breathing a sigh of relief when it opened without fuss or muss.“What took you so long?” the queen screeched from her royal throne; her fingers were tapping a beat upon the royal arm-rest and she seemed utterly impatient even if it had probably taken me less than ten minutes to go up and come back.“I bring you your royal cake, your majesty,” I said with a careful bow.“Ace,” the queen said.The Ace card, still holding the staff, returned to my side and carefully took the cake. I shifted on the spot, waiting as the Ace brought the cake closer to the queen, then deposited it upon a table brought forth by two numbers.“I’m sorry if this doesn’t work out,” I told the Jack of Spades.The Jack looked at me, then smiled. “You are a brave one, to stand for what is right rather than what is easy. I thank you.”That had warm fuzzies rumbling in my tummy and when I turned to the queen it was with a smile upon my lips.“I will now taste this... cake, and decide on its value. If it is of poor quality, then we shall see about shortening your heads!” The queen dipped a silver fork into the cake, then took a careful bite. She chewed as if thinking, then took another bite. “Ace, bring me the royal milk!”The card person bowed a little then moved off, returning a moment later with a silver platter with a glass cup. The queen pinched it between two fingers and tossed the entire contents down her mouth.I held back a grin. The queen was growing bigger by the moment. “Here’s your chance,” I told the Jack. “Your majesty!” I said. “You’ve eaten too much cake.”“What?!” she said, her attention suddenly all on me. She took another forkful of cake, but had a hard time on account of the fork becoming smaller in her hands. “What is the meaning of this?”“Your greed has made you fat!” I accused, putting a bit of theatricality into it because it was fun. The gasps from the court-viewers had me holding back a giggle. “Look, soon you’ll be too big for this courtroom.”The Ace stepped up and brought the staff next to the queen. She was, indeed, too big for the room, even sitting down she was half a head taller. “What nonsense is this?” she demanded to know.But it was too late. The murmurs in the crowd had turned into suspicion and someone started to raise the large blade of the guillotine with loud squeaks of a pulley. “She is right!” the Jack of Spades said as two other Jacks came to undo his manacles. “The queen has broken the law. Off with her head!”“I cannot break the law, I am the law!” The queen shouted.It was drowned out in a chorus of ‘off with her head!’ and a flood of number cards grabbed the queen and started dragging her ever larger body towards the gallows.I couldn’t watch. I knew that they were all constructs, but the idea of seeing someone’s head just... no, it was too much. The queen’s protests died with the sound of steel slicing through bone and I had to swallow to keep my gorge from rising.Then a ding sounded out and I opened my eyes.Dungeon Alert:Second Floor Boss Defeated. 24 hours until respawn.Dungeon Boss Room Unlocked!I was out in the main shaft of the Dungeon again, the green sky above and the door to the courtroom closed behind me. That... had only taken an hour or so, I judged.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Insight skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) General Point“Ohh, shiny!” I said a moment before a spade landed on my head.
Chapter Fourteen — A Very High Cinnamon Bun
“Ow,” I said.Then I touched the bump on my head. “Oww!”I was crouching down on the second floor platform, both hands pressing down on a nice lump with my eyes closed. It took a while before the pain ebbed away and I dared to open my eyes and look down at just what had bonked my head.There was a spade on the ground, just sort of laying there, with a cross-shaped handle and a shaft made of a whitish wood. The metal bit at the end looked nice and new and there was a big ‘J’ embossed on the plate.“Really?” I asked.The Dungeon was being very rude with its rewards. Still, a new... weapon of sorts was better than nothing. I wondered if it counted as makeshift? It was a good thing that my reward hadn’t been a mace.I picked up the spade and swung it around a little to test its weight and balance. I could tell from my experimental swings that I knew nothing about swinging any sort of weapon around. “Insight.”A Spade of Jacks, new.“Huh. Okay, so a sort of gift for finishing the last room by helping Jack. I wonder if clearing the room in other ways gives other rewards? Do you know, mister Menu?”The Insight information box popped away. Poor mister Menu was so shy.I shook my head and pulled up the screen for Insight.InsightRank D — 100%The Ability to know something. The knowledge you gain is further increased.You have no General Skill Points! You cannot increase Insight to Rank C!“What’s a general skill point?” I wondered aloud. It wasn’t a Class Skill Point. I had two of those just sitting around and trying to think about clicking them to Insight just made my head feel fuzzy. So that wasn’t it. Oh well, a question to ask someone once I was out of here and found civilisation.“Well, onwards,” I said as I hiked my backpack back on.The path down was filled with mushy mushrooms to skip from. I was a little less careful this time since I was so close to the ground floor already. I was pretty sure that with Jumping at rank D I could survive the fall mostly unhurt, and each mushroom down made that a little more likely.Then a caterpillar stuck its head out from behind one of the mushrooms and blew a thick plume of pinkish smoke at me.I waved a hand before my face, but the thick smoggy smoke was already down my throat. That was one rude caterpillar.It pulled out a large hookah and took another big puff, cheeks ground big as it got ready to spray me again.Then I landed on its head.Ding! Congratulations, you have smoked hookapillar, level 2!I landed at the base of the Dungeon’s pillar coughing like mad. My first step missed the ground and when I stumbled and tried to reach the wall it was to find it a whole foot farther than I had thought. It didn’t help that everything felt like it was spinning just a little bit, like one of those tea-cup rides at amusement parks but really slowly.“I-insight,” I said, aiming the skill onto myself.A very high Cinnamon Bun, level 3.I... I had taken drugs? Was this the peer pressure my family had warned me about. My mom would be... mildly disappointed that I had smoked something without taking the proper precautions. There was only so much disappointment a mostly-ex hippie could give when it came to the subject of drugs. I’d seen my parents pictures of their time at Woodstock.Oh no, I was thinking in tangents!Was it the drugs?Was I a delinquent now? I didn’t look good in black, and wearing spikes would make me less huggable!“Menu!” I said and grabbed at the manu when it appeared. “Quick, I need a drug resistance power, quick!”The menu popped away with what I imagined, or hoped I imagined, was a huff of annoyance.It was okay, I could figure it out.I started pacing the bottom of the dungeon, eating a circle around the small hill in the middle while taking big, huge gulps of air to clear my system. A few glances here and there and the occasional snoop behind some of the sharp rocks surrounding the clearing didn’t reveal much at all. I decided that I might as well waste time productively and sat down with my back to the wall and took out my map making gear, which was mostly the same bit of coal and my dungeon map.Adding the additional rooms and some details ate up nearly half an hour.
“Yep,” I said as I looked over my work. “That’s certainly almost a map.” I stuffed it away and considered napping, but I had a strange sort of energy and was starting to be really hungry. “Insight.”A very buzzed Cinnamon Bun, level 3That would have to do.I got up, tossed my backpack back on and moved over to the archway set in the far wall. Carefully carved stones formed a delicate arch which was filled to the very brim with climbing vines and all sorts of plants. They were so thick in the passage that I couldn’t see more than a foot into the tunnel.Was I meant to hack my way through? That didn’t feel right. Every other challenge in the dungeon had a non-violent answer to it. Maybe I was meant to use the shrinking potion?I poked at the wall of vines with my spade and watched, fascinated, as they all receded away like curtains being pulled aside on a stage. It revealed a long, dark path. “Spooky,” I said.Lights began to appear in the tunnel, first in the distance, then closer and closer, each new point of light a little brighter until I could make out the flickering of torches tied to the walls. Soon, a pair of torches just a few meters into the tunnel lit up with a crackling woosh.“Neat.”I stepped into the passageway and walked along it, making sure to always have one foot on solid ground and keeping an eye out for traps. I even took one of the torches out of its sconce and held it aloft like a real adventurer would, or at least those in my books.The long tunnel led into a room that reminded me a little of the dungeon’s main area, only there were no big colourful mushrooms here and the ceiling above was covered in sharp stones jutting downwards.In the center of the room, monoliths loomed up in a circle that reminded me of Stonehenge without the caps. The room smelled faintly like ammonia, but the constant breeze made the smell come and go even as it rustled the dry grass growing between the stones on the ground.“Hello?” I asked aloud.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.The place looked dangerous. A clear and obvious shift from the otherwise bright and almost cheery atmosphere of the rest of the dungeon.“Oh, my oh my, a late night snack.”I spun around, searching for the source of the voice but finding nothing.“I’m not over there,” came a whisper from behind me.I turned again and found only an orange-ish whisp fading away so fast that I wasn’t sure I had actually seen anything. “Um, hi, my name is Broccoli,” I said.“Are you as scrumptious as your name implies?” the voice said. Every word came from a new direction and I gave up trying to trace it.“I’m not for eating, I’m for making friends with,” I told the person. “We could be friends too, if you stop with the weird voice thing. Unless you can’t? I’m sorry. If you can’t help yourself then we can still be friends, I promise I won’t judge.”I slowly lowered my backpack next to one of the pillars and stood with nothing but my spade in one hand, the tip poking into the grass between my feet.“Oh, you are a... treat.”Something bit my bum. Hard teeth sinking through the material of my skirt and into my skin before I shrieked and jumped five feet into the air.“So tasty, and those reactions. Lovely!”This time I saw the thing, a quick insight going off even as I pressed a hand to my butt and tried not to cry.It was a cat, or the head of a cat. It had one malevolent green eye, the other white and milky. Its huge mouth was twisted in a cruel smirk before it slipped into the shadows.The zombie of Cheshire, Boss, level 5Level five? But this was a level two to four dungeon? Had the prompt lied or was the Cheshire cat the end boss?“Y-you know, touching a girl like that without permission is exceptionally rude.”“Oh? Have I been rude?” the cat purred. The rumble was so deep I felt it in my chest.Something brushed past between my legs, soft and furry, like a cat begging for attention. I swung my spade around but hit only empty air before teeth sank into my thigh.I screamed, my hand shooting out and firing a cleaning spell into the first thing I touched.“Tingly,” Cheshire said from the shadows, all the shadows. “But that only adds to the flavour, doesn’t it?”“S-stop hiding!” I screamed while my hand shakily took stock of my wounds. Blood was flowing freely down my inner thigh and into my socks. Not too much, but more than I ever wanted to see.“Hrmm, if the snack asks so politely,” Cheshire said.He appeared in the middle of the stone circle, a huge orange furred cat covered in black stripes with a large cattish grin that looked like it could chew me whole.I jumped to the side a moment before the cat charged at me mouth wide open to take a nibble out of me. The jaw snapped shut, and with that snap the cat disappeared like sand in the wind.I couldn’t do it. The cat was too big, the level difference way too large. I looked to the exit and saw that the passage was still unblocked. It was just down a couple of hundred meters of narrow tunnel that I was certain the cat could shoot through with ease.“Darn it,” I said.A whisper of a rough tongue moving over lips was the only warning I had, but it was enough for me to duck out of the way of another attempt from the huge cat to chow on me.I kicked upwards, putting all of my jumping skill into the act of kicking the Cheshire only for the cat to spin out of the path of my kick as if I had announced it days ago.“Such a slow little kitten,” the Cheshire said mockingly. “Do continue to struggle though. I enjoy the game.”“I won’t let you eat me!” I swore at the cat. Rolling to my feet, I ran over to my backpack and started rooting within, the task made harder by the spade in my hand.“More toys?” the cat asked.I pulled out the wrong thing, my magic wand instead of what I was looking for, but I still flung it at the orange cat when it stuck its head out of the nearest corner.“Naughty naughty!” he said before slinking back.Then I found it.I tossed it into my left hand and held on tight as I started looking for the cat. “Come at me, you unfunny Garfield wannabe!” I shouted. I... was still not very good at taunting. I blamed the wet throbbing of my thigh.The Cheshire giggled maniacally. “Come at you? Very well.”The cat came around one of the pillars and rushed right at me. My spade swished through the air, but all it did was bonk the cat on the head. Then I punched out with my left hand, right at the cat’s open mouth.I hit its rough tongue with a wet squelch and probably didn’t so much as leave a bruise. Teeth, long and dagger-like, snapped around my shoulder and armpit.I screamed, my entire body trashing as the cat’s tongue ran over my arm and it made disgustingly pleased sounds. My spade came down again and again on its big ugly head but it didn’t seem to do anything. I wanted to unleash my magic, but had to keep it back, for just a little while.The potion bottle in my hand burst. I felt the juice of it mix with the cat’s saliva. My spade hit the ground with a clatter and I reached up to grab the cat by a fistfull of its fur.“You are not friend material!” I shouted as the cat’s eyes went wide and it began to shrink. The monster tried to go intangible, but my arm, still in its mouth, fired a tiny burst of cleaning magic at its zombie flesh and it returned to normal.It shrunk and shrunk. I had to squeeze my arm out of its throat, but its slick saliva helped with that.It was no bigger than a kitten now, a ball of orange-black fluff that I held by the scruff.“I will eat you!” it squeaked.I glared. “Eat this.”A burst, a full half of my remaining mana, shot into the kitty and it burst apart into a shower of orange motes.Ding! Ding! Ding! Congratulations, you have defeated Dungeon Boss: Zombie Cheshire, level 5! For defeating an enemy above your level, bonus exp is gained! For defeating a Dungeon boss, bonus exp is gained!“Not now,” I told the menu. The pile of notifications faded away a moment later, still there, but out of sight.I crashed to my knees and cried as I cradled my arm to my side. My thigh was no better. It hurt, hurt more than anything I had ever felt before. But for all that it hurt it was an impotent pain, one I couldn’t do anything about.I pushed a bit of my mana into my body, and all that accomplished was wiping the wounds clean and reopening them to the sting of fresh air.So I decided that the best thing to do was to have a sit and cry for a bit.
Chapter Fifteen — The Last One Smiling
Health 59/110Stamina 115/115Mana 37/105 I was worried. For a few long minutes my health had slowly but surely ticked down every few seconds, going from a not very healthy seventy something to the low sixties. Now it had stopped and held at fifty-nine for a few minutes, or as close as I could reckon.“Okay, okay,” I said as I shifted to the side and opened my backpack. I found the blanket I had nabbed from the first floor and set it down before using it as a spot to sit on. “I’m ready, Mister Menu.”Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 4!Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointYou have unlocked: One Class Skill SlotThat was nice. I glanced at my status as soon as the giddiness washing through me passed.Health 64/115Stamina 115/115Mana 38/105That was really nice, even if I didn’t feel all that much better. Still, I would take it. Another level, another skill point and another class skill. That last could be very useful if I got something that wasn’t Cleaning or Jumping.“Next one, mister Menu,” I said.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Makeshift Weapon Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!Makeshift Weapon ProficiencyRank E — 00%The ability to use non-weapons as weapons. Your ability to find and use makeshift weapons has improved.“That’ll be handy,” I said as I patted my spade. It hadn’t served all that well in the last fight, but I was sure that would change eventually. Plus a spade just seemed useful to have. “What’s after that, mister Menu?”I found a jar of honey and a spoon while I waited for the next pop up.Dungeon Cleared!All adversaries with The Wonderland Dungeon Defeated.All Bosses DefeatedBroccoli Bunch, Cinnamon bun, level 4 is awarded the Wonderlander class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Wonderlander?Replacing your current class will reset your level 0.“Heck no!” I said as fast as I could. No way was I going to get reset to level zero just like that.Class: Wonderlander set in abeyance until Class Slot becomes available.I hummed as I considered that. It seemed as if my earlier hunch about multiple classes was right. That begged the question though, how did you get a second class? Maybe it would happen when I hit level one hundred. That seemed almost reasonable. At my current rate I would be... long dead because I ran into something scary that gobbled me up.Oh well, I thought, maybe I’d figure it out later.Health 65/115Stamina 115/115Mana 39/105My health was rising, that was excellent news. I wasn’t going to die!My mood somewhat improved, I got to my feet, wincing at the pull of mending flesh over my thigh. Packing everything back up into my backpack, and crossing half the room to retrieve my magic wand was a huge pain in the butt. Literally. But I got everything sorted and took another look at the room.There were now two glowing portals between two sets of the stone monoliths. I should probably have noticed those earlier.One had a blurry image or what I recognized as Threewells, just outside of the dungeon. The other was a hazy image of a small room with a stone pillar at its middle. Atop the pillar, and covered in glowing roots, was an egg of sorts.Quest Update!You have found the Evil Root. Destroy it to Cleanse the Land!“Oh,” I said as I took in the pulsing form. My hand reached out and brushed against the portal, slipping through it without so much as a whisper, though I felt something tingling under my skin, as if I was using my cleaning spell without actually using it. Funky.I closed my eyes and stepped through, then opened them again.I was now in a much smaller room, tight, even, with dirt walls and large, cruel-looking roots crawling across the ground and up the plinth.“Whoa,” I said as I moved closer to the egg-thing in the middle. It was too round to be an actual egg, and too glowy and see-through as well. I felt... funny, just standing next to it.Health 97/115Stamina 135/115Mana 275/105“Oh, yikes,” I said as I took in my stats. That was probably not supposed to happen. No complaining about the faster healing though, and I did feel oodles better. I fired an ‘insight’ at the orb, then the freaky roots.The Dungeon Core for the Wonderland DungeonAn Evil Root.“Well, that’s simple enough, isn’t it,” I said.I poked the evil root and fired a blast of cleaning magic into it, then, when that did nothing, a stronger blast that lowered my mana down to the low two-hundreds.When that didn’t work I gave it a smack with the edge of my spade.It didn’t even leave a mark.Quest Update!You have found the Evil Root. You are too weak to Destroy the Evil Root. Break the Core and let the Root Starve.“That sounds wildly dangerous,” I said to the quest menu.The menu merely shifted to the side as if to say ‘there’s the core, get smacking.’Something about the smooth motions of the quest menu, the way it seemed to be more reactive, told me that it wasn’t mister Menu. I was going to call it miss Menu not to confuse the two.“Well, here goes,” I said as I poked the core and fired a cleaning spell into it. If that didn’t work, then it was back to using the spade.The magic washed across the core, starting from where my finger touched it, then racing all the way to the other side as a glowing ring before returning. Then, with a glass-like crunch, the core cracked. At first just a small little hairline, then it expanded and raced across the surface, like the videos I’d seen of antarctic ice breaking apart.Dungeon WarningDungeon Stability Failing.Evacuate.“Oh, shoot,” I said as I turned tail and ran. I dove through the first portal, then almost tripped when the ground of the boss room heaved underfoot. The sharp rocks above, stalactites? Mites? Loosened and began to crash to the ground around me like thrown spears and the monoliths trembled.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.I hung onto the straps of my backpack and jumped through the portal to the exit.It snapped away just as I was about to pass through.“Ohhh, shoot, that’s very not good,” I said as I spun around and started running for the tunnel.Part of the floor jutted up and I jumped over it, clearing a good ten feet before landing in a sprint. If jumping was faster than running, then that’s what I would do. My sack bounced atop my back with every hop but I didn’t have time to ditch it.I exploded out into the main dungeon shaft to find that the sky above was hazy and warped, like a television with a bunch of magnets stuck to it. The walls were trembling here too, loose stones clattering to the ground with crunches that would have been loud if they weren’t competing with the entire world going full apocalypse..I bounced from mushroom to mushroom, moving as fast as I could with no concern for safety because safety was for when the world wasn’t literally falling apart. The tunnel into the time bunny room was broken, part of the floor and ceiling cracked so bad I had to take off my backpack and fling in through before I leaped down the remaining hole feet-first.Something caught at my neck and my hat fell off just as the ceiling rumbled and the opening started to close.I reached in and yanked my hat back a moment before the whole thing shuddered to a close.“Close,” I gasped before jumping to my feet, grabbing my backpack, and running.I took the ladder two rungs at a time and set foot in Threewells once more just as the shaft behind me collapsed, the world shifted sideways and a wave of what I could only assume was pure magic burst through the air like a bomb going off.My knees gave out and I collapsed in a heap, gasping for air like a fish out of water.“Hah,” I said. Then another laugh escaped. “Haha... hahaha!” Soon I was rolling on the ground, not because I was tired, but because the adrenaline coursing through me made me feel lightheaded and funny and everything was hilarious.Quest Complete!The world thanks you for your sacrifice!That only made me laugh harder, even if it wasn’t funny.Wonderland Dungeon Core Destroyed!You have gained: Two General PointsI was laughing so hard by then that I was seriously worried, at the very back of my mind, that I might pee myself. My legs were kicking the ground and I was clutching at my sides and rolling.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Jumping skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) Class PointBut like all good things the fit of maniacal laughter came to an end.I sat up, then dusted my skirt before checking it for damage. There were a few holes punched into the leather of my armoured skirt, and the cotton of my normal skirt fared little better. My stockings were... pretty much ruined. Fortunately it wasn’t cold out wherever I was. Not compared to back home.Stretching as I stood up, I took in the town. There were more plants and such than I remembered, and the air felt vibrant somehow, thick with magic. It was nice. The sky was a burnt orange above, fading slowly into darkness.I looked down and took in the large crater where the dungeon had been. There wasn’t much left there. Then my eyes picked up something laying at my feet. “Insight?”An enchanted Cheshire Cat’s Collar, newLoot from the final boss, perhaps. I picked it up and examined it. The collar was offensively orange, with thin black lines across it and a little pendant at the front that looked like a smiling kitty mouth.“Okay then,” I said as I shoved it in my backpack. A thing for later. Right now I had to... do...I looked around, then down to my hands.“Now what?”A New Quest!Pruning the EvilEvil Roots Remain! Dungeons across Dirt are Infected! Destroy them!“Okay, so that’s a ‘what,’” I said. I took a few steps, then paused. I wasn’t sure where to go, what to do. The last hour had been... a lot. Too much even. All I wanted now was my bed, and, and maybe my mom and my dad. We could have a family hug and mom would burn the supper and dad would complain about the environment and then the price of gas and-“Focus Broccoli,” I said. “Focus. You did it. You took out a whole dungeon. You’re awesome. Now you just need to... to make friends.”Right. That was a goal, one even better than some silly no-reward quest. I would find some really cool people and we’d form an awesome party and have the greatest adventures together!In the meantime, I could check out a few last things in the town. Check up on that nice ghost in the inn, look into that one building with the big locked door, then, then maybe I’d spend the night in Threewells one last time before hitting the road.Resolve all firmed up, I allowed a smile to cross my face and strolled across the town, checking in at all the houses I had missed along the way.Not much remained of them, the houses nearest the side I had decided to call the North were all in much worse repair, with caved in roofs and walls with holes torn into them. There wasn’t even a ghost snooping around to scare poor level one adventurers.The Inn was as I remembered it. I stepped in and looked around, then made my way all the way up to the top floor. “Mister Ghost?” I called out.But there was nothing. My wispy friend was gone.On the bed where a corpse had lain was now a small ring that looked to be made of bronze.Bronze ring of cleared soul.I picked it up with a cloth and stuffed it away. I kind of wanted to try it out, it was certainly laid out the way someone would leave a gift, but I didn’t dare put on any sort of soul-related rings. I had read Lord of the Rings, I knew better. Broccoli would not be a pretty Gollum.The sun was nearly completely down. Rather than venture out to my tiny hidey hole I found one of the less disgusting beds, fired off a few dozen mana’s worth of cleaning magic into it, then flopped down.I was asleep almost as soon as my head hit the mattress.
Chapter Sixteen — Ready Check
My backpack was nearly completely packed with everything I thought I should bring. It didn’t amount to all that much. Some provisions, a few tools, and some extras, but not as much survival gear as I would have wanted to have before setting out for a long trek through an unfamiliar forest.Before anything though, I had some points to assign. Insight and Jumping were both at rank D and had enough experience points-or whatever was used to fill their meters-to rank up. I had a suspicion that skills were not supposed to grow as quickly as mine did. A side effect of using non-combat skills in a fight? Makeshift Weapons Proficiency certainly wasn’t growing quickly.Oh well. I leaned against the headboard of the bed I had picked for myself, a silver spoonful of honey in my mouth. The sweetness helped calm the grumbles in my tummy. Those weren’t helping me think much.I had two general skill points, earned from the Dungeon, and three class skill points. The class skill points were uncommon, but came fairly steadily. The general skills points, if they all required blowing up a dungeon, were not nearly as easy to get.That meant using one on Insight was a big risk. But it might lead to a big reward too. My other options right then were a weapon’s skill and Archeology or any future skill I might or might not obtain.It was worth it, I thought. Insight was handy already. Having it be better seemed like a good idea.Getting Jumping to Rank C, on the other hand, was a choice so brain-dead easy that I didn’t even really need to think about it.JumpingRank C — 00%The Ability to jump. Your reflexes and timing for jumps has increased. You can now jump higher and farther. You may now expend Stamina to increase the power of your jumps.“Oh, shiny,” I said. So Rank C unlocked a secondary ability yet again. Was this a pattern? Two was too few to know. But three results...InsightRank C — 00%The Ability to know something. The knowledge you gain is further increased. You may now expend Mana to discover hidden knowledge.“Oh, now that is beautiful!” I said before rolling off the bed. I rooted around in my backpack while licking at the spoon still in my mouth like a very hard lollipop. Soon, I had a row of objects on the crumpled mattress awaiting inspection.There was the collar from the Dungeon boss, my hat, the soul ring I had found in the next room over, the magic wand I’d been flinging around, and the tea set from Maddy.“Insight!” I said as I pointed at the collar and pushed some mana... somewhere. It somehow felt right to pull it towards my head, which was a little strange, but the information I got spoke for itself.A enchanted Cheshire Cat’s Collar of Rare quality, new. Allows the user to summon a spirit cat once a day.“A what?” I asked aloud before shaking my head. No, that was for later. A glance at my mana status showed that it was down a good ten points. A fair bit, but not too much. I had noticed my magical cleaning costing less and less over time, so maybe that would decrease with experience.Next was my hat.Shelled kettle hat of Uncommon quality, new.“Well, I like it regardless of its quality. It’s fashionable.” I picked up the hat and plopped it onto my head. Only four points of mana this time. A correlation between magical items and plain ones?Bronze ring of Cleared Soul of Uncommon quality, old. Protects the wearer’s soul from minor to mild soul manipulations.I put the ring on in a hurry. “Thank you, mister Ghost,” I said as I felt the ring shift to fit just right on my left middle finger. It was plain, just a rough bronze ring, but a bit of a rub and some cleaning magic and it shone quite prettily.Vibrating Magic Wand of Cure Hysteria of Common quality, old.I tilted my head to the side as I examined the foot long magic stick. It was made of old, smooth wood with a gnarl at one end and some runes or glyphs carved into it. Maybe the owner suffered from hysteria? Was it a common sickness around here? Well, I wasn’t going to throw the wand away. I’d try to sell it if I found anyone interested. In the backpack it went.Enchanted Tea Cup, Uncommon quality, new. Keeps tea warm as long as a small amount of mana is fed into the cup.Enchanted Tea Kettle, Uncommon quality, new. Will boil water rapidly if mana is fed through the handle.Tea! I liked tea, and the set looked fairly robust for what they were. I would still wrap both in cloth when I packed them away. This meant that I could boil water anywhere! Very handy. Maybe I could check my herbology book later for some local plants that made good tea.Smug satisfaction radiating through me, I packed all my stuff away and hiked my backpack onto my shoulders.I had two more stops for the day, then I would be off for real. The storage room that I couldn’t figure out how to enter, and the second tower to the ‘North’ of the city. I was hoping for a nice view of the surroundingsI stuck my head out of the inn before exiting because I was a clever girl and remembered my lessons-especially when I nearly lost my head to learn them-then I hiked over to the storage building.It was as I remembered it. The door was tough, not even shifting when I kicked it. I considered ramming the wall in with a long log or something, but that was just silly. Then I noticed that a few of the roof's tiles had gone missing.No time like the present to test a new skill!Stamina was a resource my class seemed to like. I got a bunch every other level up. I didn’t know if that meant something or not, but it seemed important. I would need to find out if a magic class gave heaps of mana and stuff every level to compare.This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.Licking my lips, I set my backpack down, then tensed the muscles of my thighs and squatted to jump as high as I could. I paused before launching myself into the air as I felt a sort of... question from my own body, a sense of it asking me ‘how much’ that was at once utterly bizarre and somehow completely natural. It was like sitting on my hand for a few minutes then trying to pick my nose.Or something.I noticed my stamina dropping to nearly half a bare moment before I took off.Then I screamed as my leap took me over the lip of the roof and almost sent me flying over the other side of the building. I was lucky, and a foot caught on the very tip of the roof. Then I was unlucky because that arrested my momentum too quickly and I ended up slamming into the roof. I slid down along with a few loose tiles until I crashed unceremoniously on the ground on the opposite side of the building. I barely got my feet under me before going splat.“That,” I said to the open sky. “Was a bad idea.”I groaned as I got to my feet and huffed when I saw that I had just shaved half a dozen points off of my health. No injuries, but maybe I’d get a nice bruise for my silliness.“Nevermind this place. It’s a stupid storeroom anyway,” I muttered as I glared at the building.My next attempt, because I was apparently unable to give up on something once I started, had me using a whole lot less stamina, just enough to land on the very edge of the roof. After that it was all carefully shifting across the top until I gave up and tore some tiles out to peek within.Even with the sun at my back there wasn’t much light to see with. Still, I could make out big boxes, shelves covered in dusty knick knacks and some barrels. Nothing really inspiring.“Dang it, Broccoli,” I said. “Do you really need to sneak into the room just to see what’s in it? You have places to be!”Despite my own protests against myself, I was soon tearing a hole through the roof and jumping down. It was a good thing I was so skinny or else it would’ve been tricky to squeeze in.The storage room was a dusty mess that had my Cleaning skill itching to get to work, but I wanted to save the mana and didn’t want dust all over while I snooped. And I found... nothing. Empty crates, barrels that sounded hollow, rotten remains of sacks that had been chewed through by generations of mice.The door, at least, could be unlocked from the inside. It was the only thing that prevented my pout from being absolutely devastating as I stomped out of the silly storage shack and picked up my backpack with a huff.Spade in hand, I stomped away, not even closing the door behind me to save the next poor idiot like me the trouble of climbing in. It wasn’t fair. The heroine was supposed to find some hidden treasure while looting the last remaining place, it was just good storytelling.But then, this world didn’t work on storytelling rules. Or maybe it did and I wasn’t the heroine.Well, if that was the case I’d find the hero and be their best friend.I reached the last destination I wanted to explore in good time and slowed down to be sure I wasn’t going to be surprised by a wandering ghost. The final tower seemed smaller than its twin, a little thinner on the sides.Not that that was a bad thing. Ancient towers were to be enjoyed regardless of size.The large wooden door at its base creaked open with some prying, revealing a small corridor that led into the walls and a stairwell at the end. A few barrels were sitting around, but some snooping revealed that they only held rotten sticks that might have been torches.The second floor had a row of jail cells, iron bars completely rusted through. There were glyphs on the walls and floor, but I didn’t want to go poking at the symbols inside a cell in case they were meant to hold a prisoner. Accidentally locking myself up in a tower and waiting for some prince to save me was not my style.I climbed up another floor to a small room with a few chairs and a table. Maybe a lounge area for the guards on duty? A breakroom? A ladder in the corner led to a trapdoor in the ceiling. I was a little wary of the rungs of the ladder but they held my weight with only a lot of creaking.The trapdoor required some banging and moving before it finally opened with a squelch, decades of rotting leaves pouring down onto my head and face until I had it completely opened. Cleaning, of course, was the greatest skill and fixed the facefull of rotten leaves with a tiny burst of magic.I clambered out and stood up. The wind was stronger above everything and without the protection of the town’s walls. Still, it meant I had a beautiful view of the surroundings.There were forests all around, but I could see the winding line of a river to the south. The forest continued to the south for a long, long way, a sea of undulating green as far as I could see. The north was a whole lot more interesting. The horizon to my right was dark with a large spot where all the trees seemed almost black. It looked very far away though. To the left was a distant series of plateaus over a lake, or maybe a swamp. I made a note to avoid that because it was mosquito season.Directly in the direction I had dubbed north was a mountain that rose to a flat top as if some giant had smashed it with a hammer. There was a city there. Big enough that I could see it from what must have been half a hundred kilometers away. There were even tiny shapes floating in the sky around it. Airships.I grinned.I had a destination now!
Chapter Seventeen — The Road Untraveled
What was left of the road wasn’t all that great. I suspected that the road had once been compacted dirt with cobbles above it, but nature and time and a complete lack of maintenance had taken their toll. Now that path was torn apart by younger trees, roots, fallen branches and more bushes than you could shake a stick at.There had been a few homes close to the road and some paths leading off into the forest, but they were worn far worse than anything within Threewells and I didn’t think it was worth snooping around them.Navigating through the woods would have been, if not impossible, then at least very hard.So I cheated.“Hup!” I said as I spent a trickle of stamina and burst from one branch to another. I wasn’t using the branches near the top, but instead the much thicker ones by the base of the trees. Fortunately, most of the trees along the road had grown horizontally to catch the sunlight pouring over the path instead of growing upwards and competing with the other trees. It made for much easier travelling.Plus, I got to feel like a ninja.My mood was riding pretty high. The air was fresh, the sun was shining, I got to bounce from tree to tree and I felt like I was making good time for someone that wasn’t too used to travelling through a forest.I paused on my next leap and looked down. Something red had caught my eye off to the side of the road.There was a bush. Well, there were lots of bushes, but this one had big plump red berries growing out between its branches. Big berries that probably didn’t taste like honey.I let myself drop from the branch I was on and landed with a crunch that didn’t carry over the birdsong and the rustle of wind across treetops. I hiked up my backpack to make sure it was on snug and moved over to the bush. A few of the lower berries seemed to be missing, so something was eating them, and a few friendly bees were buzzing around.“Hello, mister Bee,” I told one that buzzed closer to my face. “No worries, I won’t disturb your bee-sness.”I giggled as I used insight on a berry.A red berry.“Wow, thanks,” I said before I tried again with some mana.A red berry, common, fresh.“Wasted skill that one,” I muttered. I set down my backpack, then rooted around until I found the cloth-wrapped book. I hadn’t really read anything out of the herbology book yet, but this seemed like the time for it.I hopped up-because using my Jumping skill as much as I could was not only smart, it was fun-and found a spot to sit on a low hanging branch before cracking open the book. The hand-drawn pictures weren’t coloured, but they were very pretty, and the notes next to them hinted at what colours the flowers and berries and roots within were supposed to be.Flipping through the pages to find berry bushes took a few minutes, but the prize was worth it.Red ChokerberryThese berries, which grow on Red Chokerberry bushes, have a few interesting qualities. Mashed and mixed with sugar it is a perfectly palatable snack and can be used to feed pets and woodland animals. Turned into a paste and left to dry, the berries will darken and if consumed can affect the eater’s respiratory canals. In low doses can assist those with specific breathing problems while exacerbating others.I read the rest of the page, then read through the warnings and preparations that could turn the plant into a poison or a cure for some specific ailments. It was at once interesting and kind of scary. Still, the book said they were safe.Hopping down, I ambled over to the bush and plucked a couple of the juicier looking berries, then popped them into my mouth.They were bitter, but also tangy, like ripe oranges.And they weren’t honey!Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Gardening!“Whut?” I said, bits of red berry juicy spitting out of my mouth. I swallowed. “But all I did was eat berries!” I said. “Delicious, delicious berries.”I brought up the menu for my new skill while I ate more berries.GardeningRank F — 05%The ability to find, identify, and cultivate plantlife.It wasn’t Fireball or Magic Missile or anything that I really wanted, but it could come in handy. Especially if it meant more food!I packed the book away, but placed it near the top of my backpack for easy access. Then I found a cloth and wrapped a few berries for later. It was time to hit the road again.Time passed in a comfortable haze. Other than the occasional jump that I almost missed, there wasn’t much to make the trip exciting. I kept jumping over the road, made sure to keep the distant mountain in sight, and generally fell into a sort of meditative pace where trees passed and time sank away.I saw chipmunks and squirrels and the occasional daring rabbit. There were big paw prints that probably belonged to bears in the mud, and I heard a howl from afar once, but it didn’t worry me too much.The road curved as it climbed up a hill and I found myself without trees to jump from. I landed and stretched a little. My legs weren’t cramping, but they were a little stiff from the constant jumping.The sun was starting to set above, but it was still a few hours until sundown and I still had plenty of time to find a spot to camp.I started hiking, the steep incline of the road harder on my legs than the constant jumping had been. I was going to have great calves by the time my adventure was over.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.Reaching into one of the pockets on the side of my backpack, I pulled out the Cheshire Choker and fiddled with it as I walked.A enchanted Cheshire Cat’s Collar of Rare quality, new. Allows the user to summon a spirit cat once a day.I had mana to spare. I pushed some into the collar and... and nothing happened.Maybe I was supposed to wear it? I wasn’t the kind of girl that wore collars though. I tried wearing it as a bracelet, but that didn’t work.“Stupid Cheshire Cat,” I grumbled as I undid the latch on the collar and placed it around my neck. It fit nice and snug, with the smiling kitty mouth dangling over my sternum. I probably looked quite silly.A bit of focus and some spare mana pushed into the collar and I felt my reserves draining, more and more until they had dropped nearly seventy points in one go.I slowed down as a sparkly cloud formed before me at chest height. It twisted, spun, then was sucked in as if a blackhole had opened up in the world. I felt myself being pulled in, and the ring on my finger grew cold, but nothing changed in the world around me.A popping sounded out from the spot before me, like someone pulling a cork, and a cat appeared. No, not a cat. A kitten. It was a ball of semi-transparent fluff and cuteness that dangled in the air and looked around with the kind of lack of interest that was common among kitties.It took one look at me, then walked through the air in my direction.“I-Insight,” I said before reaching for it.A spirit cat companion, bound to Broccoli Bunch.“Holy granola muffins, I have a kitty summon,” I squealed as I picked the kitty out of the air. It was soft, there and yet not. Like the ghosts I had touched but warm instead of cold. I spun around once, then saw the unamused look the kitty was giving me and hugged it close instead.This was the best day ever.“Oh, you’re a cute little thing aren’t you? Yes you are,” I told the kitty as I rubbed my nose against theirs. I bit of a peek under its tail that earned me a very indignant look and I had solved one small mystery. “Do you have a name, miss kitty?”The kitty made a meowing motion, but no noise.I hummed as I started walking again. “You’re not very noisy, huh?” I asked it. “Okay, then I’ll give you a name! For free!”The kitty started at me, so I cradled it against my chest and started rubbing against her tummy.“How about... hrm, can’t go with the classics here, they don’t have Saturday Morning cartoons. Unless they do. Ah, I know. I’ll call you Orange. Because it’s your colour and it’s a fruit while my name is a veggie and no one can make mean rhymes with your name.”The newly dubbed Orange seemed completely ambivalent to her name.I got to the top of the hill I was walking on and took in the sights before me. The road wasn’t taking a straight path towards the mountain but was veering off towards what I chose to call the West. Towards the swampy areas. I wanted to take a straight path towards the city, but that would have meant trekking through untraced paths.The road might reconnect with another at some point, which might mean people. No one spent as much time building a cobbled road as the one I was on only for it to lead nowhere.Still petting Orange, I tried to take in the whole world out ahead of me, but there wasn’t too much to see. Then I spotted smoke way off in the distance to the West, way too far for me to reach it in a day, but still present. People!Or a random brush fire, but I was hoping for people.“Come on, Orange!” I said as I continued my trek.An hour or two later the woods turned darker and darker and I was beginning to look for a place to rest. Staying out in the open was an option, but not one I was fond of. I soon found a small clearing with a stream running downhill through it. A stone bridge crossed the rocky rivulet, being in the same rough condition as the road running across it. The place sounded nice, the constant flowing murmur of water a sort of quiet lullaby that made it seem nice and peaceful. A good place for a rest.I placed Orange on the ground and watched as she trampled around and sniffed at the grass and stuff around her. I could almost pretend she was a real cat until a bug spooked her and she floated a meter into the air and stayed there.Shaking my head, I let my new friend have her fun and explored a little while I collected branches and whipped at the grass next to the road to make a decently sized clearing. Then I stacked the branches and found some rocks from the edge of the stream. It was like camping again, only without a tent and without parental supervision and with a much greater chance of running into zombie bears at night.Hopefully they were afraid of fire.The sun was setting for real as I sat down on my blanket next to the fire and pulled my herbology book out and started reading through it while eating supper. Supper being more berries and some honey.Orange took a nap hovering a centimeter or two over my chest curled up in a little ball. It felt as if I could unsummon her at will, but keeping her around didn’t seem to cost anything so I enjoyed the company without complaint.I searched for flowers and plants that the book said made for good tea and left leaves in the pages that had good candidates. Then, while a small fire crackled merrily next to me, I let the warmth of the flames and the exhaustion of a long day overwhelm me at last.
Chapter Eighteen — Pick a Pixie
I woke up a little sore but otherwise well-rested. Some bouncing around and a few stretches unlimbered all of my limbs, then a burst of cleaning magic woke me up better than a shower could ever manage.Not that I wouldn’t take a shower if I was given the opportunity.Orange plodded after me as I unmade camp, stuffed my book away, fetched a wine bottle to fill it with water, and generally got ready for the day while the morning was still fresh.I was wary of drinking stream water, but a burst of cleaning magic directed at the bottle cleared out all the wiggly little things floating within. Hopefully that counted as filtering of a sort.My morning business taken care of (thank goodness for Cleaning Rank C! No toilet paper, no problem!) I set Orange atop my hat, slid on my backpack, and made sure that the fire I had started was well and truly dead before continuing my trek.I wasn’t just going to walk today though. Oh no. I had a plan and a small list!I had spent some time thinking the night before as I stared up at the stars and rested my eyes from all my reading. The herbology book suggested that there were plenty of plants that grew in the wild that had good, helpful properties which I could use in a pinch.Nothing super great, but some plants could be used as ingredients in healing potions and others could be brewed into teas that did all sorts of things. Some seemed mundane (Rasperberry tea helped with cramps) while others were outright fantastic (Sweet Artemisia's roots could be dried and then boiled into a tea that let you see in the dark!).I had my eyes peeled on the ground, only occasionally hopping to the air to avoid parts of the road that were made unpassable by small trees and bushes. Every so often I’d detour just a little bit to look at some flowers and give them a sniff and a pat if they were doing a good job at being pretty.“Orange, look!” I said maybe an hour into the day when I spotted a small patch of white flowers with big yellow centres. They were sitting in a small spot where the sun slipped through the old trees all around.I skipped over and squated next to the flowers. The air smelled like bitter citrus, a smell that seemed to be attracting all of the local bees. A bit of leafing through my book and I was able to match the flower to a drawing, and even the description of its smell was spot on.FeverfewThis wild plant is one of the most commonly used cures for headaches and fever-like symptoms in many hamlets. The leaves, once dried for a few days, can be used to make a simple tea or broth that will reduce fever symptoms.“Cool,” I said before I started snipping some of the nicer leaves off of the long green stems and piled them atop my spade which was serving as a sort of plate. I tied it all together as a small bushel with a bit of stem, then fired off a cleaning spell to get rid of any yucky stuff. Animals peed in the woods after all.The package of leaves went into one pocket of my bandoleer.“Thank you!” I said to the flower before giving it a grateful bow and standing back up. Orange rejoined me a moment later and returned to her spot atop my hat.The morning was very productive, I found some common plants that I would have recognized back home, like chamomile and milk thistle, and two more strange plants before noon.Marsh RoseThe buds of this uncommon plant are a precious resource for travellers. Boiled, they produce a fragrant and flowery tea that can cure scurvy-like symptoms and can reportedly prevent the user from catching any infectious illnesses. When eaten raw the buds act as a powerful aphrodisiac.Bloody DandelionA dangerous plant to handle for the novice or unwary. Bloody Dandelions can draw their petals in rapidly and snip the tip of a clumsy herbalist’s finger right off. The flower can be used for blood replenishing potions, iron-will potions and tinctures for curing skin-related ailments.The page about the kind of creepy dandelions had a small recipe scribbled into it for a kind of potion that only required some heating and mixing and that would work as a very slow acting health potion as long as it was drunk while still warm. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but it was better to have the scary blood flower healing potion when you needed it than not.I was happy with my haul for the morning, so when the sun was at its peak above, Orange and I found a nice clearing next to the road and stopped for a sit.“So, what’s it like being a spirit kitty?” I asked Orange as I filled my enchanted kettle with the last of my water and then tossed in some chamomile blossoms into it. I focused a bit and watched with a growing smile as the water bubbled and boiled within seconds. It cost me half a dozen points of mana, but it was worth it.I let the tea steep for a moment, poured myself a cup, then, because I could, I added a pinch of honey.“Ahh,” I said as I took a long sip. A few berries made my lunch a thousand times better.Orange stared at me, but she didn’t want any tea or even a nibble of a berry, she just wanted to plop herself down on my lap for a snooze, and I was okay with that.I was just thinking of packing up when I heard a flutter of wings, then another. It was as if a flock of panicked chickens were rushing my way. I didn’t even have time to jump to my feet before they were there.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.Not chickens, I realized right away. Fairies!They were small, vaguely humanoid little creatures that looked to be naked except for the occasional twine bandoleer or leafy belt. Some of them had sticks with pinecones at the tip like spears or small chipped teeth and fangs with stems around their base serving as swords and knives.They glowed every colour of the rainbow, lighting up the clearing in a dancing parade of brilliant lights that spun and whirled and made me dizzy just from watching. I had a hard time keeping count of them, but there couldn’t be more than two dozen. “Hello!” I said.The little fairies fluttered away from me, then returned in force when I waved a little.One of them, brighter than the others, floated right up to me and stood with his hands on his little hips and his chest puffed out. “Chirp,” he said.“Ah, I don’t speak that,” I explained. “Insight,” I said next while pushing a bit of mana into it.A blue forest pixie (level 6)It was two levels above me! But it looked so small and delicate. “Chirp chiirr,” he said, then waved at the forests around him.“Do you need help with anything in the forest? Oh, are you welcoming me?” I asked.The pixie shook its tiny head, pointed at me, then pointed away.My heart sank. “You want me to leave?” I asked.The pixie nodded. “Chrr chirp!” he said, quite obviously pleased with himself.I pouted, but nodded to him all the same. Then I saw that a few of the other pixies were eyeing the jar of honey sticking out of my bag with pure, pixie-ish greed in their little eyes. I reached down and took the jar, then popped the lid off. “I’ll just take one last bite for the road,” I said as I stuck my spoon into the jar.Every pixie eye in the clearing followed my spoon as it scraped a bit of honey off the top, then moved up towards my mouth. I paused, then turned the spoon around towards the pixie leader. “Do pixies like honey?” I asked.It nodded violently.“Ah. Okay. Do pixies trade? If I give you the rest of this jar, would you let me stay in your forest a little bit?”The pixies all wavered at that, then, with a ‘chip chip’ from their leader, they fell into a big huddle, their glows almost melding into each other as they all chirped and chittered. I picked up Orange, who was still dozing so hard she was more liquid than cat, and placed her in the biggest pocket of my bandoleer, right over my chest.The pixie leader came back, then chipped and chittered at a million miles an hour while gesturing at me, the jar, then the road and finally himself.It took some trying, but I finally understood what he was saying. “You’ll escort me?” I asked.The pixie nodded and I couldn’t help but grin. They weren’t human, and they seemed a little primitive, but I had made friends anyway. And all it cost was a bit of honey. I replaced the lid on the jar, and stuffed it into my backpack, ignoring the incensed and indignant looks from all the pixies, looks that disappeared when I pulled out an unopened jar and twisted the cap off. “Here you go!” I said.The pixie gestured at the jar and it floated out of my grasp and into the air. Then he dove into it head-first, somehow making the hard honey turn liquid and melty a moment before splashing in.The others gathered around, and I saw them taking big fistsfull of honey and stuffing them into their tiny faces.It was a sight to see, so many teeny tiny gluttons gorging themselves on honey as if it was the best thing ever. They made cute little nomming noises as they chowed down and some of them floated down to the ground, their wings too sticky to fly.I made myself another cup of tea while they had their little party. Soon, more pixies joined, smaller, shier ones that darted in, took some honey, then zipped away into the canopy above. I sipped my tea while I enjoyed the lightshow. It wasn’t as if I was in any hurry, and seeing my new friends having fun was a blast.But then it was over and the lead pixie floated back up to me. He was slathered in honey and had one arm stuck in his mouth to the elbow like a big lollipop. He pointed and I nodded. “Lead the way,” I said as I stood up and picked up my bag.He eyed the sack, then licked his lips.“My new friends are greedy, aren’t they?” I said.The pixies huffed and crossed his arms.“I’ll give you the half full jar once we reach the edge of your territory, is that fair?”“Chirupt!” He said before spinning around me a few times. The pixie shot ahead, then twisted around as if waiting for me to hurry up.“Bye everyone!” I called to all the pixies. A good quarter of them were on the ground, hands rubbing across tummies that were fat with food babies. Some of them waved lazily at me so I waved right back before I stepped out of the little clearing and back onto the road. “Lead the way, Mister Blue,” I said.The pixie tapped a dirty finger to his chin, then chirped an affirmative. I think it meant that he liked the name. Though really he was more of a golden-brown and blue now.New friend guiding me, I set off on the road again, my mood as floaty and happy as the pixie next to me.
Chapter Nineteen — Blue Skies
Mister Blue the glowing blue pixie was a good travelling companion. Sure, I couldn’t understand what he was saying unless he pantomimed it for me with many ‘chips’ and the occasional ‘bleek,’ but we made do.We kept to the road, travelling at a much slower pace than I was used to even though Mister Blue was much faster than I was and would likely outpace me even at my best. Truth was, I was enjoying the company a little too much to want to hurry towards our inevitable departure.“And then what happened?” I asked.Mister Blue had been telling me of some great, ferocious monster that had invaded his forest and that he had single handedly defeated. He gestured grandly, both arms before him scissoring up and down to mimic the jaws of the great beast. “Chirrrrr!” he roared savagely, as if someone had stepped on a squeaky toy.Mister Blue flew around and faced where he had been, hands on his hips and body straight as if imitating a real life Superman. The floating certainly helped the look. The lack of clothes did not. He waved his hand in a banishing gesture, and a crack of lightning shot from his fingers to the ground with a firecracker pop.Orange jumped within the pocket of my bandoleer, the noise enough to awaken her and drag unamused eyes over to Mister Blue, who was now pretending to be the great beast scampering away.I watched, a hand pressed over my mouth as Orange floated up behind Mister Blue and started stalking him through the air. Mister Blue was orating his victory with many a chirp when he turned around and froze in mid-flight.Orange wiggled her little kitty bum, then pounced.What followed was a chase scene out of a cartoon, with Orange darting this way and that through the air, her little paw-paws running as fast as they could while Mister Blue flew circles around me.The tables turned when Mister Blue spun around and started flying after Orange while static shocks ran across his body with little Geiger-counter-like tics.Giggling, I put an end to the game by snatching Orange out of the air by the scruff of her neck and sliding her back into her spot in my bandoleer. She glared at Mister Blue, who preened in the air-quite proud of himself-but at least the fight was over.“So, Mister Blue,” I said some little time later. “I’ve been looking for rare and valuable plants. Mostly for making tea, but I wouldn’t mind finding flowers that I could sell later, or that might be helpful. Since this is your territory, do you happen to know of anything like that?”The pixie tapped at his chin and floated alongside me while making a strange humming noise. Then he nodded and zipped ahead. I lost sight of him almost as soon as he dipped into the forest, and chose not to try and follow.Instead I slowed my walk down a little, but kept moving.My patience was rewarded when Mister Blue came chittering back while pointing at something I couldn’t see.Grinning, I followed after him as he flew at a much more sedate pace through the woods and over thick brambles. The woods grew darker as he led me away from the road, then up a fairly steep hill that would have been impossible to travel without Jumping from big rock to big rock.I tried to keep an eye on more or less the direction the road was in, in case I got lost. But that soon faded away when Mister Blue chirped in victory and circled around a bush. It was growing on a patch of healthy looking dirt under a rocky overhang. Its vines were a deep, wine red and its leaves were a faded crimson. Each flower had seven large petals around a waxy stem in the middle. And atop of that was a faint, flickering blue flame.“Whoa,” I said as I watched the three dozen or so burning flowers lighting up the rocky alcove. “So pretty,” I said.The air smelled like the sulfur of a recently struck match, but also like... oatmeal. It was a distinct scent that took me a while to place, though it certainly wasn’t bad.I lowered my pack and pulled out my book. Pages flew by as I searched for the plant that I was certain I had seen illustrated already. Mister Blue hovered over my shoulder and ‘bleeked’ appreciatively at all the pretty pictures.“Ah hah,” I said as I landed on the right page.Seven-Petal Candle FlowerAn exceptionally rare find across most lands. The seven-petal candle flower is actually a flowering bush, one most commonly found in areas that have had a recent influx of mana. They only grow in secluded, darkened areas and can be exceptionally difficult to reach when found. However, finding them is made easy by the faint blue glow given off by the flame atop their flowers.I was getting excited, especially as I read on.This plant has numerous uses, though many of them are niche at best. The leaves make for a tea prized by some tribes for its ability to temporarily make one immune to fire. The stem of the flower can be used in a multitude of fire-resistance potions of various strengths, as well as tinctures to heal burn wounds. The stems can be chewed to heighten one’s awareness of fire-attuned mana. The flame, if frozen through magical means, can be used to create a catalyst called the Flaming Tongue which allows the user to commune with fire elementals and may be the most valuable part of the plant.“Whoa.”When gathering, start from the flower and work down. The flame is easily snuffed out by feeding it non fire-attuned mana. Care must be taken with the main stem of the flower which is highly flammable, though difficult to light. Store the clipped parts of the plant in a dark, humid location.There was no way I could freeze the flames off the tips. Which was too bad, but the rest sounded simple enough. A careful jolt of cleaning magic made the flames on one flower sputter away, releasing a refreshing burnt-breakfast scent in the air. Then, with my knife held by the back of the blade, I snipped off the flower and placed everything on a clean patch of rock.Stolen story; please report.Orange batted one of the stems around playfully, and I let her as I focused on my work. Soon I had harvested a quarter of the plant and decided that I had taken my share.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Gardening skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!“I’ll take that,” I said with a delighted giggle.GardeningRank E — 00%The ability to find and cultivate plantlife. Your instincts for dealing with plants have sharpened.I thanked the plant, then Mister Blue for helping me find it, and packed everything up as quickly as I could without losing anything. A bit of cleaning my hands later and replacing Orange onto my shoulder, and I was ready to move again.Mister Blue was kind enough to lead me all the way back to the road, but soon he stopped and spun around me a few times, ‘bleeking’ and ‘chirping’ sadly.“Oh,” I said as I realized what he was trying to say. “Is this the end of the road for us?” I asked.Mister Blue stopped before me and nodded.I... didn’t want to go back to being alone. But I knew it wouldn’t be forever. And I had Orange now, even though we had yet to really bond. “Okay,” I said as I lowered my backpack. I fished around for one of the filled jars of honey at the bottom, then placed it on the road next to me. That left me with one and a half jars, more than enough to last me a long while. “I wish I could hug you goodbye,” I said.“Bleek!” Mister Blue said before he blinked to stand right before me and wrapped his arms across my chest. He couldn’t even reach from one side to the other, but the gesture was heartwarming all the same. I patted him on his head with two fingers and held back a sniffle.“Chii, chirup!” He said as he backed away. He gave one last glare to Orange, then waved at me before darting away. His prize bobbed in the air behind him as he disappeared into the woods.I wiped my eyes, licked my lips, and kept on walking.Nothing kept Broccoli Bunch down, not even losing a fun new friend that she had just made! I would find more friends along the way, I just knew it.At least the parting had only been bittersweet. I could visit Mister Blue again in the future, maybe with even more honey. I laughed and imagined how heroic he would look coming to all of his friends with a second full jar of honey behind him. Unless he snuck it away to enjoy it all for himself, the little ruffian!The woods started to change as I moved through them. The air wasn’t quite as vibrant and the trees weren’t as brilliantly green and full of life, even the birdsong wasn’t quite as chirpy and happy.I hopped up to the branches of a nearby tree to be higher, and took in the world around me as far as I could see. That wasn’t very much, as it turned out. I was in something of a dip in the landscape with hills all around. The distant rumble of a river or stream sounding just a few hundred meters away.Looking up, I caught sight of a plume of smoke, then realized that it was a few of them meeting together to form one column, but it was still far away. Too far to reach before the sun set.I hopped over to the next tree, then the next, aiming for the top of the hill where my line of sight wouldn’t be nearly as obstructed. Maybe there was a town like Threewells out there, but inhabited?I paused between one jump and the next when I heard something below. At first I thought it was some creature moving through the woods, but creatures didn’t swear so much.“Why am I always ze one sent out to clear ze path?” someone said after saying some words that were very impolite.“Ze question ought to be why I got picked to babysit you,” another, deeper voice said.People! Close enough for their voices to carry even. I jumped in their direction a few times, aware that I was moving back towards the road and the river at the bottom of the hill.“Zere’s a nettle bush over zere,” the gruffer voice said. It was clearer now that I was closer. It definitely sounded like a man.“Zut. Could have told me earlier, I’ve got some of zose ball zings stuck to my pants.” The other voice was also distinctly male, though it sounded a few years younger.I was getting so excited I almost missed my next jump.“Good luck removing zem. Zey’re a right pain to get out. Also, zey’re called ‘burrs’, not ‘ball zings.’”Grinning from ear to ear, I dropped down first one branch, then another, until I could see my new potential friends. They had long knives that were flashing out as they cut through the branches and brambles across the road. One of them was focused on chopping while the other tossed the branches to the side.At first I thought they were human, but a look at their smooth, greenish skin, thick legs and squat features revealed otherwise. Their clothes had strange cuts to fit their strange proportions, but looked fine otherwise, the sort of thick robust clothing you would want to wear for trekking through the woods. One-the older, I guessed by the better quality of his equipment-had articulated leather and metal armour over his legs and shoulders and a breastplate gleamed under his jacket.A bored Grenoil Swamp Ranger, (level ?).A nervous Grenoil Fencer, (level 9).I had just met a pair of frog people!With one last hop, I landed on the road before the two wide-eyed adventurers and grinned.
* * *
Chapter Twenty — A Ribbiting Meeting
I took a deep breath, raring to start talking to my new potential friends. I had so many things to say. Entire days of pent up talking ready to be unleashed. Instead, all that escaped my lips was a breathy giggle. I flushed, coughed into my closed fist, and tried again.“Hello! My name is Broccoli Bunch and I want to be your friend. Welcome to this forest, do you come here often? What’s it like being a frog person? Wait, no, was that racist? Specieist? I’m sorry I’ve never met someone who wasn’t human before and I don’t know how to act around you so if I’m accidentally rude please tell me and I’ll try to fix it!”I slapped a hand over my mouth and tried to think of ways to not embarrass myself any further when the frog-person-the grenoil?-with the more articulate armour spoke out. “Hail, human,” he said while raising an empty palm my way.“Do all humans speak zat much?” the other grenoil said.The ranger shook his head. “Shush, Donat.” Focusing back on me, he nodded his head and made a gesture with both arms that I couldn’t decipher. “We weren’t expecting to see a friendly face, human. What brings you to zese dark woods?”“I’m lost,” I said, a little sheepishly. “I kind of just ended up here and I’ve been following this road to try and find people for a couple of days now. Then I found you, so I guess that plan worked out!”“Indeed,” the ranger agreed.“So is it just the two of you? Not that there’s anything wrong with there being just two of you. I’m all alone and that’s... well it’s alright, I guess. But what I mean to ask is, are there even more people around here? A town or a city or a big gathering place of people? I have some things I’d like to sell, and I want to learn more about this place. And I want to eat something that isn’t honey. Oh, and I want to make even more friends.”The ranger raised one webbed hand and I stopped. I might have been talking a lot. “You can come back to our camp with us,” he said. “Zere are others there zat might want to take a look at you.”“We’re going to bring it back with us?” the fencer asked.“What are our other options? Let it leave and perhaps jeopardize ze expedition?” Ranger said before shaking his big wide head. His hood didn’t move much with the motions, which was a little strange.“Donat, get behind it. I’ll take ze lead,” the Ranger said.“Oh, I’m being escorted!” I said. “So, do these woods belong to your people? Was I trespassing? I’m sorry if that’s the case.”So, the younger-looking grenoil was called Donat. I waved at him then started walking down the path which they had done a good job of clearing of brush. It was still uneven, with roots poking through the cobbles and making the large flat stones sit all crookedy across the path.“Zese woods belong to no kingdom,” the ranger said. “None that still stands. Now please be quiet, we don’t need to attract trouble.”“But I only found you two because you were talking so loud,” I said.“Exactly.”I adjusted my gambeson and coat and tried to make myself presentable, then fired off a few small cleaning spells to make sure I was nice and neat. The ranger and Donat didn’t seem to notice, or if they did they didn’t mind.Maybe I could help them clean up later too, their boots were all muddy and there was a certain smell to them that kind of hinted that they needed a bath. Not that I would say that to anyone, it was very rude.We started walking and I was about to introduce myself when Donat started talking. “So, uh, ze human, it’s a man human, right?”“No, you idiot, it’s a female,” the ranger said. “Did you hatch yesterday. Look at ze lumps on its chest.”“I zought zose were muscles,” Donat said.I looked down at my chest, then back around to stare at Donat.“Ah, chests are taboo with humans, right?”The ranger sighed. “Just with ze female humans. Zey compete with each other to see who has ze biggest because it helps zem attract mates. Zey don’t croon at each other. Well, some do, but it’s not ze same.”“Weird.” Donat was tilting his head from one side to the other, his entire upper body following the motion since he didn’t really have much of a neck. “Why are zey taboo?” he asked me.“It’s because... they just are.” I crossed my arms and tried to find something to say to defend myself, and my chest, while the ranger ahead of me called out.“Oi zere! We’re back.”I looked ahead of the Ranger and felt my grin growing huge. There were more frog-people! Some were sitting around a little clearing along the edge of the road while one of them was setting up a tent. Most were around a small campfire on which a cauldron was hanging off a rack. The wind shifted, and with it came the mouth-watering smell of some sort of stew.One of the frog people was skinning a small critter off to one side. It looked icky, but the thought of eating some fresh meat pushed that aside for now.Donat raced ahead, arm gesturing back in my direction. “Emeric, Arianne, we found a human!” he said.The entire group gathered before me, with only the ranger staying behind me instead of joining the others. I smiled and took them all in.The ranger and Donat I knew already, both in leather armour over perfectly usable clothes. Among the frog people I was now meeting were two that I suspected might be girl frogs. Frogettes? They were slimmer, with smoother skin and faces that weren’t quite as wide, though they seemed taller than the boy frogs. One had armour similar to the ranger, but with articulated metal gauntlets and a shirt made of fine scales.The other was wearing thick cloth robes made of a deep blue material that were open at the front, revealing plain clothes underneath. She had a staff, but was just holding it by her side with familiar ease.A wizard? A wizard!The other two were boy frogs. One in more leather and steel gear, with two swords held by his hips, and the other had strange armour made of overlapping plates over his shoulders and hips, with a helmet that had a sort of U-shaped crest at the front. A samurai frog! All of them except for Donat had bandoleers, kind of like mine but with medals and pins on them.I bowed to the group. “Hello!” I said catching a few of them off guard. “My name is Broccoli Bunch, let’s be friends!”“Oh, swamp-gas, she speaks our tongue,” the younger looking frog-girl said.The samurai turned a glare onto him. “You did not question it before bringing it here?” he asked, voice gruff and no-nonsense. Donat, who I was realizing seemed rather young looking compared to all the rest, backed up a step.“I’m a she, actually,” I said. “And Donat did talk about my chest a lot.”Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.One of the frogs, the one with the two swords, made a croaking noise that was similar to a snort.The samurai shook his head. “Donat, your being here is a privilege. It’s not too late to fetch someone else to carry through a dungeon.” I noticed that he pronounced every word very carefully, enunciated every syllable just so.“I’m ze one at fault here,” the ranger said. “I chose to bring ze human to ze camp.”The samurai glared over at the ranger, then huffed. “Very well. Tie it up. Search through its things.”“Eh?” I asked. “I’m sorry mister samurai, but tying people up is not a good way of making friends. I’d even argue that it’s counter productive.”“Cease your yammering,” the samurai said.I took a small step back. There was something pressing against me, a sort of weight that was trying to drag me down and... and I wasn’t going to let this mean samurai frog talk down to me like that. It’s not how things worked. “No.”The samurai was about to turn away when I spoke. He whipped around to stare at me as if I had said something incomprehensible. Then one of the others, the one with the two swords, started chuckling.I crossed my arms. “Mister samurai, if you’re not going to be nice then that’s your prerogative. You won’t make many friends that way, but I won’t tell you how to live your life. But telling me to be quiet and threatening to tie me up won’t intimidate me. I don’t abide by bullies.”Now three of the others were holding back chuckles and the one with the two swords was openly laughing. “Do you know who I am?” The samurai said.“No? How would I, you haven’t introduced yourselves. I’m Broccoli, by the way. In case you didn’t hear.” I waved at the others and some of them waved back. There were some mixed reactions. Donat seemed nervous of the samurai still, the ranger didn’t seem to care either way. The one with two swords waved back and grinned, as did the non-wizard girl frog. The wizard and the others were looking longingly back at the fire and at the stew set next to it.“I am-” the samurai began.“Hey, can I have some stew? I have some things I could trade.”“Oh, what sort of zings?” the one with two swords said.“Ah, honey? I’ve got, oh I’ve got two bottles of wine that I found.” I said, remembering the two bottles I was still carrying with me. “And I have a bunch of herbs. If one of you is an alchemist you might be interested in those. I could make some tea?”“Wine would be nice,” the ranger said.“We will not get drunk on the job!” the samurai roared.“Two bottles shared between seven won’t be enough to get anyone drunk, except maybe ze tadpole,” the ranger said.“Hey!” Donat protested.The group broke up, most moving to the logs around the little fire pit while the non-wizard girl stirred the stew and then poked the brazier with a stick. Donat was pointed to the unmade tents with instructions not to poke his own eyes out. I guess being the youngest in the group wasn’t fun, but maybe he had to learn how to put up the tent.These frog people weren’t humans, but they seemed cultured and nice enough. Their clothes had a professional look to them and were tailored to fit their non-human proportions, so they had to come from a place with tailor-frogs, which meant a larger community out there.“This is highly unprofessional!” the samurai said.“Oh, stuff it, Leo,” the twin-sword frog said. He gestured to a log not too far off to the side. “Sit, friend, and be welcome at our fire. As long as you cause no harm, none shall befall you.”I mentally ‘ohhed’ at how cool that greeting sounded even as I took off my backpack and set it on the ground next to me. “Thank you for sharing your fire. It’s been forever since I’ve seen anyone. Meeting people who are friendly is really nice.”“I can imagine,” he said. “You said you were Broccoli Bunch, yes?” At my nod, he smiled then patted a webbed hand against his chest. “I am Emeric. Ze fine wizard here is Arianne. You met Pierre, our ranger and scout. Ze young lady across from you is Valeria. Our friend at ze tents who likes your chest is Donat, and ze grumpy one is Leo.”“My name is Leonard Chand’nuit,” the samurai said. He shifted the hilt of his big sword around and crouched down on a log next to Emeric. “I will be keeping an eye on you, human. Know that I will not allow you to interfere with this party’s business.”“Okay,” I said. My mind was reeling trying to keep all the names straight. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all. I might have a hard time with all of your names. I hope you don’t mind.”“Hey, it’s no problem,” the frog girl across from me, Valerie said.I fired off a few inspects on each of them in a hurry.A relaxed Sword-Dancer, (level ??)That was Emeric, of course. His class sounded really neat.An amused Marsh Wizard, (level ??)Arianne, whose full lips were curled up in a slight smile.A hungry Fencer, (level ??)That was Valerie, who was eyeing the stew the way a wolf might eye a steak.And then I used Insight on Leonard.A frigid Samurai of the Moonless Night, (Level ???)Three question marks. Did that mean he was even stronger than all the others? That sort of made sense. He certainly felt that he deserved more respect. Maybe being a higher level earned people more honour and such by default? It was... sort of fair. More so than respecting someone because they were rich or born with the right family name.“Ah, you’re all very strong,” I said as I rooted around my bag and pulled out one of the wine bottles I had. I didn’t know anything about wine, but I hoped that it was good. It had been aging for quite some time.I handed the bottle to Arianne, my hand brushing against hers for just a moment. It was moist and kind of slippery, which was a weird but not uncomfortable feeling.“Would you mind if we Observed you?” Emeric asked. “Just as a precaution.”I froze. “Is that like using Insight?” I asked.The wizard next to me laughed, it was a strange, gurgle-y sound. “Insight is a variation of Observe and Inspect, yes,” she said. “It’s a bit of a faux-pas to use zat sort of skill on someone without permission.”“Oh no,” I said before pressing my hands over my face. “I’m so sorry!”Emeric laughed it off, but Leonard next to him narrowed his eyes with suspicion. “It’s nothing,” Emeric said.Arianne looked at me, and then her eyes widened. “She’s a Cinnamon Bun, level four,” she said.That earned me a bunch of looks. “Is that bad?” I asked.“How are you still alive?” Valerie asked.I had the impression that I was going to have to do some explaining.
* * *
Chapter Twenty-One — Tiny Fish Huge Pond
“Um,” I said as I tried to deal with the question. How was I still alive? Was this place really that dangerous? Sure the ghosts were scary, and there were bears and things, maybe, but nothing I had seen topped the evil ghosts or the monsters in the dungeon. “Well, mostly I just fought ghosts, some zombies and that was it, really. I’ve been eating berries and honey for the most part. Is that what you meant?”Arianne shook her head. “Ghosts aren’t too common, but zey are easily dispatched by most. It’s ze sombrals, ze pixies, and ze dryads zat are ze issues here.”I stared at her, then at the others around the fire. Donat had rejoined the circle, plopping himself down right on the ground without even a log to sit on. Emeric was still wearing a smile, but next to him, Leonard the mean samurai was glaring suspiciously. Valerie was the only one ignoring me as she focused on the stew. The ranger was... gone? I couldn’t see him, and I never noticed him leaving. Neat!“Well,” I said. “I never saw any dryads, and I don’t know what sombrals are. I did meet a whole lot of pixies though. They were nice.”“Nice?” Arianne asked. “I have seen zem melt the flesh off of creatures an order of magnitude bigger zan zey are wiz zeir magic. Each pixie has a different and mostly unique set of spells zat zey will use to tear you apart.”“Uh.” I shrugged. “I offered them some honey to let me stay in their territory. Then I gave their leader a second jar to escort me around for a day.”“You-” Emeric started to croak with laughter. “Oh, zat’s priceless. Hear zat, Leo. No need to scare off ze pixies with your big sword. Just give zem honey!”“She could be lying,” the samurai said.I nodded, which set him to blinking at me. “I could be. But that wouldn’t be very nice of me. I have some honey left over, if you want to try it for yourself. It would be a real shame if you hurt the pixies just because of a little misunderstanding.’Arianne looked like she wanted to pat me, but she didn’t which was good. People were always doing that and it was very rude.“Can you tell me about the sombrals and the dryads?” I asked.“Are you going to offer zem some honey as well?” Emeric asked.“I might. But I don’t know what dryads or sombrals eat. Maybe they don’t like honey, or can get some themselves.”“Sombrals,” Arianne began in a tone that sounded an awful lot like some of my teachers. “Are one of the monsters native to the Darkwoods. Dryads, on ze other hand, are common across ze whole world. Zey tend to be wherever zere are large forests. Donat, tell Broccoli about sombrals.”The young grenoil jumped, looked around, then rubbed at his face where his nose would be as a human. “Ah, right, sombrals. Second tier monsters. Scary, big, zey like ze taste of fresh grenoil meat. Do you know what a wolf is?” I nodded and he continued. “Right. sombrals are like wolves if wolves were made of shadows and didn’t need to sleep. Zey aren’t as big as some kinds of wolves, but zat only means zat zey are sneakier.”“And how do you fight zem?” Arianne asked Donat. She was leading him on, making him recite information that he was probably already supposed to know.“Fire works. Zey don’t like it. Light magic is best. But we don’t have zat. Hitting zem on the head works too. Zey are not like ghosts who are immune to physical harm. But zey do resist it better.”“Can’t you just run away?” I asked. I didn’t want to go around booping any poor wolves on the head for doing what was in their nature.“No,” Donat said with a shake of his head. “Sombrals are blind. Zey can’t see. But zeir sense of smell is incredible and zey will hunt you for days if zey must. You can run to find a better place to fight. Or into a town with lots of people if it’s close, but zey can’t be outrun in zis forest. Zey hunt in packs and will try to encircle you if zey can.”“Scary,” I said. “I guess I’m lucky I never ran into them.”“Zat’s the strange part,” Emeric said. “Zey would track you down by your scent. How did you avoid zat?”I thought about it for a few moments, but the answer was pretty obvious. “I am very clean,” I said. “I have the cleaning skill, so I shouldn’t have much of a smell at all.”Emeric blinked his big froggy eyes at me, then tilted back and laughed, his feet thumping on the ground as he croaked and gurgled with mirth.“Tch,” Leonard said. “I would call what you did clever if it was not so obvious that you merely managed to avoid death through sheer dumb luck.”“Now now, Leonard,” Arianne said. “It’s good information to have. We might be able to use it ourselves.”“Stew’s ready!” Valerie declared. “Hey, tadpole, get ze bowls and such.”Donat grumbled, but he ran off to the tents in a hurry at the sight of Valerie’s glare and soon returned with a stack of tin bowls and a handful of wooden spoons. He passed them around, then got shoved aside by Valerie when he reached for the ladle. The frog girl started filling everyone’s bowls, and I got to go first for some reason. Maybe some sort of guest custom.I sat back down, tummy gurgling as I took in deep breaths of the vapours coming off of the stew. It smelled so good my eyes nearly rolled back into my head. Still, I noticed that the others were waiting before digging in.Pierre the sneaky ranger walked out of the woods as if he had just been standing in plain sight all along and took a bowl of his own. He was the last to sit down.“May our wills be the will of the world,” they all intoned at more or less the same time. Then they started digging in.This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.“You don’t worship the world tree?” Valerie asked between two bites.I shook my head and hoped that wouldn’t cause any troubles. I forgot all about that as I put the spoon in my mouth and the savoury taste of meaty juices and some sort of potato-like root filled my mouth with an explosion of flavour. “This is so good!” I said when I swallowed. I might have burnt my tongue and throat but it was worth it.Valerie made a gesture my way, a sort of thumbs up, but her thumb was webbed and it came out weird. Still, I understood what she meant and didn’t blame her if she didn’t want to stop eating for even a moment.I slurped down a few more bites then started scooping up some of the meat and vegetables out of the juice. Some were crunchy, which was strange, but not too bad.“Needs more roach,” Donat said.“Hard to find out here,” Arianne said.I wondered what they meant. Then I looked into my bowl and saw that thumb-sized and very dead bug in my stew. Another floated up to the surface next to it. “Ah,” I said. I debated losing my supper all over the campfire, but then held back. It had been really good until then. I picked up another bug on my spoon, then placed it in my mouth and chewed.It crunched and crunched and I just couldn’t do it knowing what it was.“I, I’m full,” I lied as I pushed the bowl to Valerie. If there were tears in my eyes at losing such a delicious meal she didn’t comment.The girl smiled wide and took my bowl without protest to chug it all down. Emeric’s eyes were turned up as if to say he knew exactly what had happened and thought it was hilarious.“So, um, dryads?” I asked.“If you run into a dryad, you’ll know,” Leonard said. “They are immensely dangerous, usually past their second tier, though you might find younger ones around. They can kill an entire squadron of ill-prepared troops. But, for the most part, they will not hurt or hunt you if you make an effort to avoid them and are careful about not cutting down trees in their presence.”“So they’re peaceful?” I asked.Arianne shook her head and swallowed. “No. Zey are merely not aggressive. Do not confuse ze two.”“The pixies weren’t aggressive at first and they became friends,” I said. “Maybe you’re just approaching them the wrong way?” I wondered.“Oh, please do try to make friends with a dryad,” Leonard said. “As long as I am there to watch, of course.”I harrumphed and reached into my bandoleer to pull out Orange. The kitty had been sleeping all afternoon, but the motion of taking her out woke her up. She looked around at all the people around us and shook to fluff out her fur.“What’s zat?” Donat asked.“This is Orange,” I said. “She’s a spirit cat.”“Did you find it in ze wild?” Arianne asked as she stared at Orange with an intense look. Her eyes opened wider after a moment. “Ah, a summon.”“What a useless summon,” Leonard said.Orange glared at him.“Watch out Leo, it might scratch you,” Emeric said. “Where did you find a spirit cat? Attracted it with some honey?”“No, I got her from an item,” I said.“Cute,” he replied. “Not zat useful, but a handy companion. And perhaps it will grow into a large and fearsome tabby cat in a decade or two.”“Well I like her,” I said as I pulled Orange in for a quick snuggle. She, being a proper kitty, objected to the display of love and squirmed out of my grasp to run away. She didn’t go far and was soon distracted by some swaying leaves. “So,” I asked as I refocused. “What are you guys doing out here? Is there a village or something nearby?”“I was zinking of asking you ze same. What is a level four Cinnamon Bun, whatever zat may be, doing out in zese woods?” Arianne asked. She set her bowl aside then hugged her staff close, fingers running across the well-worn wood.“I’m a bit lost,” I admitted.Emeric chuckled. “A little, yes. You can stay wiz us tonight. Tomorrow we will point you to Rockstack. It’s a small outpost run by a few guilds. If you’re as clever as you look you’ll be able to find work. Maybe one day you can join the Exploration Guild.”“Is that who you are?” I asked. “Members of an exploration guild?” That sounded so cool! Like an adventurer’s guild, but with less killing rats in someone’s basement and more exploring tombs and looking for cool places.“Zat we are,” Emeric said. “Myself, Arianne, Pierre, and most recently Valerie are all members of ze same exploration team. Leo here is a senior member who joined our team for zis expedition because we’ll be exploring a more dangerous place, and Donat tagged along because we need someone close to reaching zeir class evolution if we find a dungeon.”“So cool,” I said. I now had about a million questions to ask! “What are you guys looking for?”“She isn’t part of our group,” Leonard said. “Don’t spill confidential information.”“She might have come across what we’re looking for. At least she might save us some fruitless searching,” Emeric argued back.The samurai considered this for a moment, then nodded. “Very well.”Emeric smiled triumphantly. “We are looking for a lost town zat was once occupied by humans. Zere is nearly no human presence left here, and it was a frontier town when it fell, so we don’t know where it is. But someone discovered something interesting in zat town and we want to see it.”Frowning, I considered what he’d said. A human town around here. The only one I had seen so far was... “Are you talking about Threewells?” I asked.In a blink there was a hand clasped over each of my shoulders.
Chapter Twenty-Two — A Long Talk Off a Short Pier
“Tell us everything you know about Threewells,” Leonard demanded.Up until that moment I had seen the dour samurai as a sort of... pompous and somewhat rude man that was in a bad mood. Just a normal person who had rolled off the wrong side of the bed that morning. He wasn’t a threat because he could talk, he could be reasoned with.Now he was in my face, hands gripped over my shoulders and holding on so tight that I couldn’t move. Something told me that bonking him on the head wouldn’t do anything to him. That, and there was a force pushing down on me.I could hardly hear Emeric’s protests over the roaring in my ears.Then I remembered that I was Broccoli Bunch, and Broccoli Bunch said nope to bullying. “I won’t tell you anything if you’re going to act like a bully,” I told him. “If you want, I could trade you some information, but with how rude you’re being I think I’ll just keep it to myself.” I crossed my arms. “So there.”Leonard let go of my shoulders but didn’t back away. He opened his mouth to say something, paused, then stroked his chin. “A trade would be acceptable,” he said. “What do you know of the Exploration Guild?”“Um. Nothing?” I said. “Nothing beyond what I can guess, at least.”“Oh boy,” Valerie said before she moved back to the cauldron and started scraping stew off the bottom.Leonard pulled the log he had been using as a seat closer with hardly any effort. “The Exploration Guild is an old and storied society. It transcends the boundaries of race and species and serves many. Kingdoms rely on it to find new lands and resources, merchants rely on us to find precious materials and to scout new roads. Most important of all, we are often the first to delve into new dungeons to discover the will of the world.”“That’s impressive,” I said. The feverish light in his eyes kind of disturbed me a little, but it did genuinely sound interesting.Leonard nodded. “It truly is. As impressive as we are, we still lose members. New Dungeons can be creative and dangerous, exploring faraway lands means being far from help, or encountering threats never seen before. Information is what we seek, and information is what keeps us alive. Like you learning about dryads and sombrals and knowing to avoid them.”It kind of clicked, not that there was much work needed for that. “That’s why you want to know about Threewells,” I said.“Yes, he replied simply. “You asked for trade. I do not know how valuable your information is. But some of it might be the difference between the life and death of this party of overconfident fools.”“Um, are they your responsibility?” I asked.He nodded. “They are. But I am but one grenoil, I cannot be everywhere at once.”“Well, okay then.” I wasn’t sure what to think of Leonard anymore. That was both annoying and kind of confusing. But he wanted to know what I knew and I wasn’t averse to sharing. “Let me just fetch something.” I opened my backpack and retrieved my map of Threewells. The map of the dungeon I left behind, maybe I could use it to bargain for something else. Maybe some food. “Here.”Leonard took my crude map and his eyes widened a little. “This is Threewells?” he asked.“Yup, I explored most of the town while I was there,” I said, a bit of pride sneaking into my voice.Emeric laughed. “Full of surprises zis one. We should keep her!”“Oh no,” Arianne said. “I’m not going to abide to ze party having a pet human.”The two bickered back and forth, but my focus was mostly on Leonard who was looking over the entirety of my map with more care than I thought it deserved.“This is shoddy work,” he said and my tiny kernel of pride deflated and died. “It’s not accurate to the maps of Threewells I have seen. The houses are all there, but their locations are slightly off. And the art is... questionable at best. These words, what language are they in?”“Um. English?” I said. “You can’t read?”“Of course I can read!” Leonard said over the laughter of Valerie and Emeric. Even Donat seemed to want to laugh. “I don’t speak this ‘Henglish’ of yours.”“But we’re speaking it now,” I said.Arianne looked at me curiously. “Do you have a translation skill?” she asked.I shook my head.“Any magical jewelry zat may be soul-bound?” she asked next, this time looking at my hand with the bronze ring.“Well, yes.” But unless my Insight skill was dead wrong there was no way that my ring was translating for me. Did that mean that I just... knew how to speak frog? I didn’t have much time to wonder about it.“You shouldn’t just put on strange jewelry,” Leonard said. “At this rate it is a miracle you’re not dead already. Donat, fetch me a paper and an inkwell!” The younger grenoil jumped to it. “Very well, for the map, if you help me recreate it in a less... childish hand, then I will give you one gold.”Emeric whistled. “Suddenly being generous,” he said.“A lesser gold,” Leonard added even as Donat returned with a small satchel. The samurai pulled out a wooden board with an inkwell built into it and then a long feather and some yellowish paper. “Do you accept?” he asked.“Um, okay, sure.” Gold was good. Maybe. Probably. Did I want my new friends to know that I had no idea how the money here worked?“Good.” Leonard reached to his belt and pulled at the drawstrings of a pouch. He flicked a coin at me that I caught out of the air. It was small, about the size of a dime but thicker, and it was heavy. I stuffed it into my backpack in a hurry. “Now, translate this.”The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.I did as he asked, translating all the little notes I had made for myself while he copied the map with quick, sure strokes of his plume. His notes were tiny little inscriptions in the margins and sides of the buildings and places I had marked.“I can tell you about the buildings I explored too,” I said.“Go on.”“In exchange for the right to spend the night here,” I added.The samurai looked up at me and narrowed his eyes. “Very well.”“Am I the only one zat expects her to slowly fleece him of everything he’s worth?” Emeric asked. He smiled at me then got up to his feet. “I’ll leave you to it. Donat, fetch some blankets and finish setting up ze second tent. Broccoli can sleep wiz ze girls. We’ll set up a watch and put up torches before ze sun sets.”That last comment had me looking up to a sky that was putting on its night time colours. “Ah, darn, the day’s almost over.”“Indeed. Now, tell me of these places,” Leonard demanded again.So I did, each home earning a small notation next to it as he moved across the town. “And that’s the main tower. The one I came in from,” I said. “Nothing on the third floor. You can only get to it by scaling the outside wall. Ah, but there are offices on the first floor, I found a lot of papers and stuffed them in a chest in the barracks.”“... good,” Leonard said. “Documents from a fallen city might interest some buyers at the guild.”“How much would you give for, say, the ledger of the guard captain? All the reports leading up to the fall of the town?”Leonard looked at me. He sighed. “I have misjudged you. For that, I would give a young fool... a letter of recommendation to the guild. As well as four lesser gold.”“Ask for more,” Arianne said.“Mind your own business,” Leonard grumped at her. To me he said. “What made you explore the town so much? At your level it’s an incredible risk.”“I needed stuff. Food and supplies. And I like exploring, it’s fun.” I grinned at the flummoxed look on the samurai’s face. It was as if he’d swallowed a fly. Only probably not, he would like swallowing flies, I suspected.He shook his head. “Perhaps the letter of recommendation would be too much. The amount of time spent beating the stupid out of you would cost our instructors far too much.”“No, no, I’ll take the letter,” I said. The guild sounded neat. “And the gold too. Oh, and some food. But nothing with bugs in it.”“Hey, nozing wrong with some crunch in your lunch,” Valerie said.Arianne shook her head. “Humans don’t usually like eating insects.The look of confused betrayal I received from Valerie had me holding back giggles. “Just enough food for the road, at least until I reach that outpost you mentioned. Unless you’d let me come with you?”“No,” Leonard said. “There is no chance of that happening.” He said it with enough conviction that I decided not to test him. “We can offer you some food, yes. But only after I see the books.”I pulled out the two binders filled with reports. It was going to be nice to not have that weight on my back. Or maybe just to replace it with proper food. I handed them over to Leonard who brushed a thumb across the cover, then leafed through the reports. Most, I knew, were exceptionally boring, but he seemed not to care.“Six lesser gold. I won’t have my honour besmirched by shortchanging even a fool.” He carefully set the binders aside. “Tell me more about the town.”“Ah, which parts?” I asked.“The so-called evil hole you mentioned,” he said. I sat up straighter and wondered what kind of goodies I could get for my dungeon map. “It sounds like the entrance to a young dungeon.”“We felt a mana surge,” Arianne mentioned.Leonard nodded at that. “We did. Someone might have destroyed the dungeon after you left. Not an easy feat.”“Is that bad?” I asked.I shrank back as all three still around the fire looked at me.“Destroying a dungeon is,” Arianne began. “A crime of ze highest order. One who breaks a core must in turn be broken, for it means going against ze world’s will.”“The world’s will?” I asked.“It’s a miracle you know how to read and write,” Leonard said. “With the pitiful education you’ve no doubt received. Typical of a human.”“What Leonard is trying to say,” Arianne said with some bite. “Is zat ze world needs mana to sustain itself. Not all of it. You can live in a mana-free area your entire life. But you will be made uncomfortable by it. Injuries will take longer to heal and you will no doubt die younger with fewer offspring. Dungeons, when zey appears, bring lots of clean mana to an area, and wiz zat comes the lure of ze dungeon boss.”“You mean... the class thing?”“Not completely clueless, then,” Leonard muttred.“Yes, killing a boss grants you a class. Zat’s why our group has zree fencers in it. Zere’s a boss zat grants ze fencing class near ze capital. A lower levelled one, at zat. It is farmed regularly.”“Oh,” I said. “Wait, three?”“Emeric was a fencer until his class evolved. Valerie also reached ze level for a class evolution, but she remained a fencer.”“So cool,” I said under my breath. “Do you know what Cinnamon Bun evolves into?”“No, I’ve never heard of ze class,” Arianne said. “Was it a natural one? That is, one you grew into?”“I guess so.”“Zen it being strange isn’t surprising in ze least. Uncommon, but not surprising.”“What can you tell us about the dungeon?” Leonard asked.I shook my head and smiled. “Nothing, nothing at all.”
Chapter Twenty-Three — Friendmaking
Emeric insisted that I didn’t need to help prepare for the night, though I did help a little anyway. The look on Donat’s face when I cleaned the cauldron with a tap of my fingers was worth the half dozen points of mana I spent.The tents weren’t the sort of tents I was used to. In fact, there were little more than canvas sheets with a few holes here and there that had flaps covering them. Ropes strung out between the nearest trees held them up, and little ties on the canvas allowed parts of it to be folded in to form walls around three sides.It would keep the rain off, if it rained, and the wind too, but that was about it. Still, no weird retractable sticks to deal with, so it wasn’t all bad. I was given a spot in the middle of Valerie and Arianne and a few extra blankets that were less than fresh until a couple of cleaning spells fixed them up.“Zat’s a handy little spell,” Arianne said as she watched me lay out a blanket to sleep on and another to cover myself. I had my own too, so I would be nice and snug all night. It was like a sleepover but outside and with strangers!“It’s great!” I said. “I never got to see much magic, so I was super excited when I got my own spell.”Arianne’s smile was at once demure and extremely amused. “Well zen, do you want to see some more?”“Yes!” I said before scrambling to my feet and following after her. Magic was awesome because it was magic. Even after using my cleaning spell a hundred times I couldn’t get over how cool it was. “Can you teach me about magic?”“I can, a little. But zen we must sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day. What do you know so far?”“Um. I can push magic into stuff, and then I lose some mana. Then things happen.”Arianne tittered. “I have my work cut out for me, zen.” She walked us over to the edge of the clearing. “Zere are two types of spells... no. zere are many many types of spells, but only two matter for you. You can worry about ze ozers later.”“So what are the two, then?” I asked. I was bouncing on the balls of my feet as the marsh wizard raised her staff and narrowed her eyes in focus.“Ze light of my soul illuminates,” she said while making a cupping gesture in the air under the end of her staff. A spark appeared, then formed into a baseball-sized ball of whitish light that began to fall. “Ze will of the world captures.” The light started to dim. “Ze weight of my will determines ze path.”And just like that the ball stopped falling and hovered in place, releasing a whitish light that was weaker than a torch, but that was pure and clear. “Cool,” I whispered.“Zat is for the sombrals. Zey dislike ze light,” Arianne explained. “Zat was one type of magic. A spell zat I cast using my own mana by controlling it, zen I tied it to zis place so zat it hovers.”“So if I chanted like that, would it do the same thing?” I asked. I was trying to memorize the chant just in case. I wanted light balls. I could hang them all over the place and people would comment on them and tell others of how cool Broccoli Bunch’s balls were.“No, ze chant is to help. Do you know what a... mnemonic is?”“Like a song to remember something?”“Yes, zat’s exactly right. Many practitioners use zem. Some have very misleading chants to trick opponents. Zey are just to help you remember and to help you move ze mana ze right way at ze right time. I can cast zis spell wizout because I have been practicing it a lot, but to demonstrate it is easier wiz ze chant.”“Okay, so you take your mana and then you make a light ball?”Arianne shook her head, then paused. “Yes. But zat is too simple. Zere is a specific shape ze mana must take. Zere is some leeway, but not too much. Ozerwise ze spell fails. Zat is where ze ozer kind of spel comes in. Skills.”Arianne tapped her staff to the ground and a clod of mud rose up, then twisted around itself until it took the shape of a small muddy frog person that barely came up to my shin. It wobbled around on unsteady legs, then collapsed into a heap of mud.“Zat is a golem spell. To cast it would take me a minute. Maybe two, if I want to avoid mistakes. But by using a skill like Earth Magic Manipulation it becomes trivial.” She smiled at me. “Do you understand?”Right, I knew that using magic skills came with an instinct for it. My cleaning magic was the same way. I didn’t really have to think too hard on it and the spell just kind of formed immediately and worked on the first try. Did that mean that someone without the cleaning skill could use my spell? Probably, but as Arianne said, it would be difficult. I could see why. The amount of mana used in each cleaning spell was slightly different, which probably meant that the spell was a tiny bit different too.So using skills to cast spells was like having a calculator do the math for you. Or maybe a computer solving your physics problems. Casting it yourself was like doing it by hand. But that meant that you could still do it by hand.“Wait, does that mean I can learn Fireball?”Arianne sighed. “Zey always want ze fireballs. No Arianne, don’t cover ze enemy in mud, light zem on fire. Always ze same.”“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. I might have touched on a sensitive topic. “I think mudballs are cool too. All magic is cool, and you’re a wizard, which means you’re cool by default.”Arianne shook her head from side to side, a strange swaying motion with the way her neck was made. “Go rest. You’re going to have a long walk tomorrow,” she said before placing a hand on my head and ruffling my hair like a big meanie.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.
* * *
I woke up with a jaw-shattering yawn, then stretched my arms and legs out every which way. It took a moment for me to realize where I was, but the strange croaking snores of the girls next to me helped a bunch. A glance out of the tent revealed that the sun was rising and that morning was here and the faint clinks of metal against metal and the crackle of a fire suggested that someone was up.I slid out of my blankets and searched for my armour and stuff. I had slept in it before but now, with a whole party of strong adventurers around, I felt safe enough to just sleep in my normal things.All dressed up and ready, I slid out of the tent and stood up tall to take in a deep lungfull of morning air.“Up already?”I finished my stretch with a few sways of my hip to get my lower back settled, then bounced on the spot a few times. “Yup!” I said.Emeric and Leonard were both sitting around the fire while a small metal pan was sitting with a slice of bread on it and a pot sat next to it with what looked like beans boiling merrily away.“Is that breakfast?” I asked.“Favourite meal of ze day?” Emeric asked as he stirred the beans.“I’ve been eating nothing but honey and berries for a while, any meal is my favourite if it’s got neither. Not that I dislike either, it’s just too much is too much.”Leonard made a croaky-snort. “Unprepared child,” he said.I sat next to them and waited, tummy growing fiercer by the minute, as breakfast was prepared. It was nice. Emeric filled three bowls up, mine almost to the brim, then he placed some toast atop the bowl and we got down to eating in quiet, only the morning birdsong to accompany my oms and noms.“We’ll be leaving soon enough,” Emeric said. “I got grumpy here to draw you a basic map and zere are supplies in zat sack over there.” He gestured to a bag off to the side. “Some canned goods, a few little things. Our last loaf of proper bread. Ah, and some hardtack. It tastes awful but it will keep you fed.”“I... can’t come with you?” I asked. I kept my eyes on my now-empty bowl.I saw Emeric shake his head from the corner of my eye. “No. We’re not just going to Threewells. The Dungeon there, if it’s still active, would be outrageously dangerous for someone at your level. And we have to move quickly.”“I can move quickly,” I said.He smiled. “Nope. You get yourself back to Rockstack. There are some nice folk over there, some will be willing to keep an eye on you, maybe even get you a job. Ask for Julliette, she runs the inn. She ought to have some work for you.”“If you are dead set on being a fool, then head over to Port Royal,” Leonard said. He handed over a folded piece of parchment with a red wax seal on the front. “My name has some weight there. The people at the headquarters of the Exploration Guild might see something in you if you don’t act like such a foo— don’t break the seal!”I froze, fingers caught fiddling with the seal before I let go of it and gave him a sheepish smile. “It’s still attached,” I said.“Idiot,” Leonard said. “I’m going to wake the others.”Emeric watched him go, then turned to me with a huge smile. “I think he really likes you.”“I do not!” Leonard roared, which probably helped in waking all the others more than anything else he did.“He’s nice under all that gruffness,” I said. “I kind of wish I could come with you, I hate making friends and then losing them right away.”“You’ll make good friends one day. No worries,” Emeric said. He rooted around in a bag and found another tin of beans which he opened with a casual flick of a knife across its top. “Maybe you’ll start your own party?”“That would be wonderful,” I said. It would be! Just me and some close friends, heading out on mysterious adventures to discover hidden things. We’d meet dragons and ride them into battle and it would be awesome.“Wait,” I said. “You have beans that come in tins?”“Yes?” Emeric said. “They’re good for travelling, which we do a lot of. You can buy them in most guild supply stores. They’re not meant for civilians but they’ll sell you some if you don’t mind the mark-up.”The others woke up one after the other, some with more alacrity than the rest. Arianne was not a morning person and kind of just flopped next to Emeric until he pushed a bowl into her hands. Valerie zeroed in on breakfast and scarfed it down, then bounced around while undoing the tents and gathering all of their things in a hyperactive hurry.And then it was time to go. Donat and Pierre, who had been sneaky all night, waited by the roadside. Leonard was deep in a map and Valerie was rubbing a tired Arianne’s back. Emeric reached a froggy hand out to me. “Good bye, Broccoli,” he said.“Bye Emeric,” I replied right back.We shook and I waved goodbye to the others as the party formed up and started walking and hopping away.I swallowed thickly, put on a smile, and got my stuff. I still had a ways to go. But maybe I would see them again. It would be neat to be part of the same group as them, maybe. Time would tell.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the general skill: FriendmakingI laughed as I set off into the unknown.
* * *
Chapter Twenty-Four — Rockstack
I moved with a skip to my step. “So, Mister Menu, feel free to tell me about yourself,” I said to the box floating before me. “I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken to you in a while. I was sort of busy. Then again, I know that you’re kind of shy when you’re on the job.”The menu popped away, letting me see the long, treacherous road ahead. A thought made it come back.“Now, now, no running away!” I chided. “I need to grind my new skill. You’re the one who gave it to me. Or at least, I think you are. It doesn’t feel like something Miss Menu would do.”The box just displayed the same thing it had for the past twenty minutes or so.FriendmakingRank F — 13%The ability to make friends. As you practice this skill your ability to make friends will improve.“Come on, I need to get this skill super high so that I can make all the friends!” I told the menu box. “Maybe we can try hugging again?”The box popped away.“No fun!” I called after it.Shaking my head, I refocused on the road and kept on walking. I had an eye open for any interesting plants, but so far all I had found was a nice spread of chamomile to top up my tea reserves. There were other plants along the road, but none that had properties that interested me.I wasn’t about to start carrying around poisons if I could avoid it. That just wasn’t a very nice thing to do.I hopped up to a low hanging branch, then started jumping from tree to tree without using any stamina. It was good practice in case I had to make a run for it.“Mister Menu, can I see my profile please?”
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
4
Age
16
Health
115
Stamina
125
Mana
105
Resilience
25
Flexibility
25
Magic
10
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
C — 93%
Jumping
C — 57%
Gardening
E — 13%
General Skills
Insight
C — 17%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
E — 04%
Archeology
F — 39%
Friendmaking
F — 13%
Skill points
2
Class slots
0
General Skill Points
1
Cleaning was reaching the edge of Rank B. I wasn’t exactly grinding it ceaselessly, but I was trying to make sure that my mana was never completely topped off just so that I didn’t waste any time.Jumping was plodding along as well. It might overtake Cleaning at some point in the near future. My general skills, on the other hand, were falling behind. Insight was the only one slowly ticking up, but the rest? I would need to find a way to get them up a few ranks.It seemed as though the main barrier for skill growth wasn’t experience points at all. Sure, it could take days to get a skill up to max experience, but that didn’t matter if you were going to rely on that skill your entire life. It was the hard limit imposed by skill points that slowed everything down.A month of dedicated practice would be more than enough for me to get every skill up to the highest level they could go, I suspected. Then I would be stuck waiting forever to level up and get just one more skill point to spend. It felt like an almost artificial restriction on what I could accomplish.Annoying, but understandable. If skills allowed the user to become super strong with only minimal effort and some grinding, then they would be completely broken.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.The road forked.I paused at the intersection and took in the two diverging paths. One to my left, deeper into the forests, one straight ahead towards the marshes. Neither towards the mountain city that I assumed was Port Royal.I shuffled around to pull out my backpack, then grabbed the map Leonard had drawn for me. It showed the camp, the road, and indicated the fork with an arrow pointing ahead and towards Rockstack which was, according to the map, not too terribly far. I had crossed half the distance already.The left path continued and ended with a big skull and crossbones symbol. I wondered what was over there. It was pretty clear that Leonard thought it would be too dangerous for me, but he also seemed to think that tying my own shoes was beyond me.“I’ll go check later,” I decided as I replaced the map into my sack.Mid-day came and went. I probably should have stopped for lunch, especially now that I actually had supplies, but instead I stopped for a quick break behind a bush, then after cleaning up, pulled some still-soft-ish bread from the supplies sack I had and nibbled away at it while walking.If I was within only half a day’s distance from Rockstack, then it was worth it to rush back over. There might be an inn, and people too. As much as I was enjoying my time on the road, having a roof over my head, a warm meal in my tummy, and a hot shower before bed sounded heavenly.I was finishing up the last of my bread when I caught sight of smoke between the trees ahead. I paused along the road, then climbed up a tree to see a little better. Not one smokestack, but about five, all of them joining together hundreds of meters above.It had to be Rockstack!My steps were a whole lot faster after I hit the ground. I wanted to make it to the town and I wanted to get there now!Then the road I had been travelling on for a few days now ended. No more cobbles, no more path, not even some flattened dirt to show where it could have been. I took out Leonard’s map and eyed it for a moment. It said to continue, but I had been expecting to follow the road for a while.I ran ahead a ways, skipping over brush and bushes until, between one step and the next, I caught sight of a new road ahead.The stones were well-placed and untouched by roots. The sides had deep ditches with thin rivulets of water at the bottom. The path was even wide enough that two cars might have been able to drive along it side-by-side without issue.“Whoa,” I said as I took it in with a growing smile. Well-maintained roads meant civilisation!I checked Leonard’s map one last time, turned to the left, and started jogging.That didn’t last very long. I might have been working out a whole lot more, but that didn’t mean I was in shape. The weight of the backpack didn’t help, or so I told myself. My jog turned into a fast walk, then an easy, more stable pace as the terrain grew a little hilly.And then, at long last, I crested a hill and saw Rockstack.The first and most obvious thing, the only thing I could see, actually, was the wall. It was a solid barrier of living tree trunks, each one as thick around as my arm-span and nearly completely branchless. What few branches were there all stuck out like the spiny thorns of a cactus.Huge, bulbous bowls sat atop the walls, each one made of some dark bark and big enough to fit half a dozen Broccolis. They reminded me a little of coconuts, only they were perfectly distanced all around the wall.I squinted and took in the form of two guards by the arch of the doors. Each one was only about as third as tall as the wall. There was even a small moat going around it, and the forest near the town had been cut back to create a big clearing full of tree stumps.I reshouldered my backpack, made sure Orange was sitting pretty in my bandoleer and walked over to the gate.The guards were both grenoils like those in the Exploration Guild party, only they didn’t seem quite as intimidating. They had cheap spears and thick gambesons with a bit of scalemail that seemed ill-fitting.“Hello!” I called out to them as I got closer.A bored Grenoil Fencer, (Level ?).A bored Grenoil Hunter, (Level ?).“Hail, traveller,” the hunter said. He seemed to snap himself awake as I came closer. “What business do you have in Rockstack? Ah, I mean, Royal Outpost Seven?I stopped when I was still a dozen steps away from them, just in case they got nervous. “This isn’t Rockstack?” I asked.The fencer sighed. “It is. At least, zat’s what everyone calls it. Official name is Royal Outpost Seven. Not zat you look like an inspector.”“Well okay then,” I said. “I’m here to find a place to rest, and maybe a way to get to Port Royal?”The hunter nodded. “Zat’s fair. Might take a while before ze next caravan passes zrough. As for ze place to rest, go ask Juliette at ze Inn. You can’t miss it.”“It’s on the main road?” I asked.They both laughed, croaky chuckles that calmed down after a moment. “Miss, zere are only seven buildings here. If you can’t afford an inn room zen it’s off to the tents with you.”“Oh,” I said. “If there are so few buildings, then what are the walls for?” I asked.“Keep zings zat want to eat you out at night. Had a high-ranking Wood Mage show up when ze outpost was still fresh. Built ze walls in a few minutes is what I heard.”The fencer shook his head. “It took hours,” he said. “Zis idiot is just trying to impress you.”“Whoa, that’s still awesome!” I said. “I have a Gardening Skill, do you think I could do that?”The hunter looked at his buddy and it was clear he was trying not to laugh. “Yeah, sure. Go on in kid.”I did as he said, running through the arch and into Rockstack. My eyes went huge as I tried to take it all in at once. There were people here, and a ring of buildings that all looked strange and unique, but what caught my eye right away was the huge structure right in the middle of the sort of square that made up the centre of the outpost.It was a stack of rocks. Sort of like the little stacks someone bored might make by balancing one rock atop another, only this stack was ten meters tall and had rocks that would more appropriately be called boulders. There were three stacks, each one arching up at the top and meeting in the middle at a shiny black stone covered in little golden flecks.Fool’s gold, if I had to guess, but pretty all the same.I tore my eyes away from the strange sorta-sculpture and took in the rest. The guards were right; there were only seven proper buildings in the outpost. There was a huge inn to one side, then three little shops with second floors that probably had apartments. Then a big blacksmith’s shop. There was a huge home that looked like it belonged to someone important, and lastly two large buildings that were both square and boring-looking, as if someone had built a fantasy office building out in the middle of nowhere.There were a few people around, all grenoil and all minding their own business, so I decided to do the same.“Where do I start...?” I wondered aloud.The obvious answer was, of course, the Inn. That’s where all the best adventures began, after all. The Inn was a long building with a huge front. Three stories tall and completely out of place in the middle of nowhere like this. It was a bit strange to see such a large building so far from a proper village, but maybe there were enough travellers to make it viable.There was a sign on the front with a frog jumping into a mug and the words Hop on Inn after it.Grinning, I held on to my backpack by the straps and ran over to the building, every part of me ready for my first chance to see the inside of a working inn.The doors were, disappointingly, normal, but the moment I stepped through the threshold I was inundated with the sound of glasses clinking, people talking in low murmurs, the strumming of a lute and the mixed smells of sweaty people and fresh food.I had found a small paradise.
Chapter Twenty-Five — The Hop On Inn
I knew that staring was rude, but I couldn’t help myself. There were just so many people, and no two were the same. I didn’t mean that the people within were all dressed in strange ways, though there was certainly some of that, I meant that at a glance I counted five different species of people all sitting at different tables and doing... whatever it was adventurers did in an inn.There was a table with three small people that had translucent wings, all sitting on stools which were taller to accommodate their height. They wore tight-fitting uniforms in dark blues that looked like dress uniforms for officers back home, with medals and tassels on their shoulders and cute little caps.A bigger table off to one side had a mixed group. Grenoils and a human and a large person with a hunched back and legs that bent the wrong way. They had long, long arms tucked against their side, and their entire body was covered in beige wraps of cloth that did nothing to hide their strange proportions. They even had goggles on.Someone squawked. “Look at the newbie,” and I realised they were talking about me.It had come from a table with four bird people at it. Their arms were actual wings that ended in taloned hands and their uncovered legs were covered in fine feathers.“Sorry,” I said with a sheepish smile before I skipped over to the counter.Behind the bar was a large grenoil who stood like a queen surveilling her people, hands carefully cleaning out a mug with a corner of her apron until she caught sight of me and looked me up and down. “You look lost, girlie,” she said.“Ah, I was, I think, until now.” I gestured to one of the stools near her. “Can I sit here?”She croaked. “Go ahead.”I smiled at her and plopped myself down. “Um, I’m looking for a miss Julliette. Do you know her?”“It’s Misses, and I know her better zan anyone. Who’s asking?” She filled up a mug with something from a tap and sent it sliding across the counter just as a barmaid passed to pick it up.“Eh, I am? I met a team from the Exploration Guild in the woods. Emeric said that I should ask you about a place to stay, and maybe work.” I smiled hopefully.She eyed me up and down. “I’m not a charity, no matter what zat idiot Emeric thinks.”I shook my head. “No, no, that’s okay. If you don’t have work then I’ll find something. Um, do you sell food?”“Oh course we sell food!” she roared. “Nine cop for ze best meal you’ve ever eaten.”“Are there bugs in it?” I asked as I started reaching into my bag. I had three little pouches made from some cloth I’d knotted together. One for each sort of coin I’d found. I pulled out the copper pouch and emptied it on the counter, then counted them out. “Ah, I only have eight,” I said.Julliette eyed my meager copper coin supply, then snapped a hand out and stuffed them somewhere so fast that I couldn’t see where they went. “You’re too zin,” she said before moving back. There was an opening at the back in the wall, a window into a busy kitchen where a couple of grenoil and one of those cloth-wrapped people were cooking up a storm. Juliette screamed a few numbers at them before returning to me. “You said you were looking for work?” she asked.“Um, yeah! I’m just level four though, so I can’t do too much.”Julliette shook her big head. “What is someone like you doing out here? Trying to get yourself killed?”“No, I got lost. Sorry?”“Tch. Fine. What can you do?”I beamed at her. “I can clean, and I can cook and bake a little, and I’ve got the Gardening skill.”“You have ze cooking or baking skills?” she asked.“No,” I said with a shake.“Zen you’re useless in my kitchen. Go ask Dylan if he needs the help.” At my confused look she elaborated. “He’s ze alchemist. If you can’t find him in zis pisshole zen you’re hopeless.”“That sounds great!” I said. “Um, do you have rooms here? With showers?”“We do. Two lesser sil a night.” She glared at me. “We have smaller rooms too. No showers, but zere is a communal shower for our guests. One sil a night.”“Okay, great. How much copper is a sil worth?” I was going to need to get the hang of their money system sooner or later.Juliette pressed a hand over her face. “Emeric, damn you,” she muttered. “Nancy! You’re in charge for a moment,” she called out. A barmaid on the floor made that thumbs-up gesture Valerie had made before.The large frog woman walked back to the window just as a platter appeared then she returned and placed it before me.My eyes widened at the bounty. There was a big potato with a slice cut into it to release some steam and a square of butter melting away atop it. Some stew in a stone bowl that didn’t have any bugs in it that I could tell. Some slices of sausage with a sauce over them that was still smoking and half of a round loaf of bread that looked crisp and fresh. There were even some veggies to the side.Juliette, who I decided then and there was the best frog person ever, placed a big mug of milk next to my plate.I picked up the fork next to the plate and started taking big bites of everything. “Oh, oh this is so good,” I said.“Don’t talk wiz your mouth full,” Julliette grumbled, but there was a spark of joy in her eyes. Maybe. Reading grenoil moods wasn’t my forte.“But it’s so good,” I said after swallowing. I tried a bite of everything and it was all delicious. Even the milk was fresh and yummy.“Tch,” Juliette said. She reached under the counter for something, then came up with a handful of coins. She laid them out in a row. The first was a copper coin, then a small nickel-sized silver coin, then a quarter-sized coin that was also silver. Finally she placed a gold coin like the one Leonard had given me at the end. “Cop, lesser silver, pure sil, lesser gold. Zere’re ozer coins. Gold galleons and ze like. I’m not fool enough to keep zem here. And ozer places have zeir own currencies. Your coins are worzless too far West or past ze mountains to ze east.”If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“Okay,” I said as I chowed down. It was hard to focus with all the yummy flavours running across my tongue, but I made the effort anyway.“Ten cop to a lesser sil, ten of those to a pure sil, ten of those to a lesser gold,” she explained.“So... a thousand copper to one lesser gold?” I asked.She nodded. “Zat’s right.”“So for one lesser gold I could buy... a hundred and forty of these meals. Minus the tip.”Julliette laughed and swept the coins off the table. “You’d be a good customer if you did.”I smiled. I was truly tempted. “How much does most work pay, by the hour, I mean?”“By ze hour? I pay my barmaids two sil a day. Ze cooks four,” she said.“Oh, okay,” I said. “How much does a loaf of bread cost?”“A loaf of...” she shook her head again. “Here, four cop. In a proper city and most towns, one or two.”“Things are expensive here?” I asked before using a chunk of bread to dab at the stew.Juliette nodded. “Ay, zey are. We’re far from any town zat can supply us. Most zings we need are brought in from Port Royal and some of ze towns along ze way. No farms means no local crops.”That made sense. I supposed that the outpost had other sources of income, or at least something to attract people to it temporarily. It didn’t seem like a permanent place yet. Maybe one day it would become a proper town, with farms and livestock and normal villagers. I looked around the bar and all I saw were people that looked ready for adventure.“So, I need a place to sleep,” I said.“One sil a night,” Juliette said.“Ah, okay,” I agreed. “Do you need anyone to help you clean and stuff like that?” I asked her.She snorted. “I always do. You could stay in ze tents if you want. Zey cost two cop a night. But if you wake up naked and wizout anyzing to your name, zat’s your problem.”“Right, your inn seems much nicer,” I said. “I have some things to sell. I should go do that soon to afford a room.”Juliette grabbed a rag and started rubbing at her counter absentmindedly. “Ze first room down zat corridor,” she said with a nod to the side. “Go clean it. I’ll give you a cop if it’s to my liking.”A copper, which was a tenth of the value of a small room. “How many rooms does your inn have?” I asked.“Forty,” she said with a growing smile. “But I wouldn’t pay you more for caring for ze bigger rooms.”“Right,” I said. I looked down and was disappointed to find that all of my food was gone. I shoved the sadness aside by reminding myself that I could afford hundreds of these meals now thanks to Leonard. “Um, I’m supposed to go to Port Royal, are there ways to get there?”“Yes. You walk. You ride wiz a caravan. You hire a mage to teleport you,” Juliette said.“Teleport?” I asked with wonder.“Zat’s usually a few lesser gold for ze distance between here and Port Royal. Triple it here because no mage will want to take you.”I winced. “Okay. How about the caravan option?”“Ze last caravan arrived yesterday morning. Ze next one arrives in a week. Ze guards for it have all been hired already from ze local adventurers, so you’d need to buy passage to go wiz zem. A few sil. More for food.”A week then. A week to gather things and make some money to be able to live in a proper city. A week to explore and meet people and make friends. I grinned at Juliette. “Brilliant!”I hopped off the stool and moved over to the side towards the room she had pointed out. “I’ll get to cleaning then,” I said as I held my bag to the side. “Can I put this somewhere?”She took the bag and stuffed it behind the bar. “Cleaning zings are in the cupboard under ze stairs.”“Got it!” I said.I found the room and slid in with a broom and some rags. It was a small space, with a simple undecorated bed to one side, a chair and desk at the far end and a tiny window overlooking the back of the inn.I could see the tents she had mentioned. They weren’t actual tents, but small squat buildings with cloth walls and roofs. Some had the sides rolled up to reveal hammocks all in a row within. There was what I suspected was a latrine at the far end, a human man coming out and hopping around as he buckled his belt. Not very fancy. A room would be much nicer, even if it was simple.My plan so far was pretty simple, but I could go over it again and again as I broomed the floor and did the bed and rubbed the top of the desk free of dust. Get a room, then spend the night. In the morning try to sell all of my loot. Then maybe I could work in the inn. That did sound kind of cool.But I also wanted to see the world around the outpost and maybe find more cool stuff! The adventurers here had to be around for something. Maybe I could help?I wiped my brow and looked over my work. It was good enough.I set aside all of the cleaning stuff and went to fetch Juliette. “Problem?” she asked. “Don’t tell me you don’t know how to do ze bed. I swear children zese days are...” she stopped when she stood by the door. “Did... did you polish ze floor?”The floor looked clean, nice and well cared for and just a little sparkly. “I just cleaned it,” I said.“And ze bed?”The bed looked fresh and welcoming. It even smelled nice, like fresh hay. Probably because that’s what was in the mattress. “I made it right, right?” I asked. “Um, I can try harder, if you want.”Juliette eyed me. “You have the Cleaning skill zen. Good. One cop a room,” she said.I grinned. “Okay!”
Chapter Twenty-Six — Selling for a Bargain
I woke up with birdsong in my ear and a smile on my face.The room I had been given had a small window, barely bigger than my head, but enough that-when I had left it open for the draft of fresh night air-it let in plenty of noise. People talking, laughing and starting their day. Birds darting around with wild whistles and the bark of a happy dog.I stretched in my bed, then let all of my limbs go floppy and loose so that I could enjoy the sensation of being in a bed.Beds, I decided, were the best.I wanted to just... stay there forever, but I was a busy bun with busy bun things to do! With a sigh, I tossed off my blankets, then hopped to my feet and stretched a little more. I found all of my clothes-conveniently left draped all over the room’s one chair-and got dressed up and ready to go.I debated wearing my armour, but in the end chose not to. It would feel good to go without for a day and if I wanted to buy clothes or equipment later it would be a hassle to take it all off. I still carried my bandoleer and my backpack though.“Orange!” I called out. No kitty appeared. A look under the bed revealed nothing, nor did a peak in the dresser provided with the room. I shrugged and pushed a bit of mana into my necklace. I wasn’t sure how it worked, exactly, but I figured it might just get me my kitty companion back.A moment later a ball formed in the air before me and a disgruntled Orange poofed into existence. She looked around, then glared at me.“Oops,” I said. “Sorry, Orange, but I’m heading out and I think you should come!”Orange huffed, but she still took pride of place on my shoulder and refused to budge even as I ran my fingers through my hair to unknot it, then tied it in a neat ponytail. Preparations for the morning done, I fired off a nice burst of cleaning magic at myself and grinned.“Let’s go take on the world, Orange!” I said.The Inn’s main floor was a chaotic hive of activity. More people than could possibly be rooming at the inn were swarming the tables, shouting over each other, laughing at unheard jokes and basically drowning the floor in raucous noise.Nancy, the nice barmaid, stopped by me, a tray on her head and two in each arm. “If you’re not in a hurry love, zen you’d best wait in your rooms for breakfast.”“Ah, okay!” I tried to say, but she was already moving through the crowd, avoiding elbows and snapping her long tongue into the face of any boy with questing fingers. It was impressive to see her go, but I had a bunch of other things to do and breakfast could wait. Maybe lunchtime would mean a calmer inn.Stepping out into the full sunlight of the morning was, for just a moment, completely blinding, but I enjoyed the light before taking my bearings of the world around me.There were a bunch of carriages hitched to big ol’ horses. The wagons were empty except for the benches by their sides. That was plain enough and other than a passing thought to petting the horses I didn’t pay them any mind. The gigantic frogs, on the other hand, those had me pausing.These weren’t dressed like the grenoil. In fact, they were naked except for a bunch of harnesses strapped all over them with big sacks that looked full of stuff. A grenoil, looking tiny next to the giant frogs, was checking the harnesses when I approached. “Eh, hello sir,” I said.He turned and brought a hand up to adjust the straw hat he was wearing. “Yes ma’am?”“What’s that?” I asked, pointing to the giant frog. It didn’t look sapient at first glance.“Never seen a toad before, huh?” he asked.“That’s a toad,” I said. “It’s huge! The toads where I’m from are no bigger than Orange.” I pointed to my shoulder cat as an explanation.The man laughed. “Ay, Zey’re big bastards. Nice though. Zey might try to gobble you up, but a swift kick or two and Zey’ll let ya out. We use ‘em to carry stuff. Good for hauling. ’Specially ‘cross ze terrain ‘round here. Lot’s a mud. Horses get stuck, so we use toads when we can.”“Wow,” I said. “That's cool. Where do you go with them?”“Ze dungeon, of course,” he said. He tipped his hat at me. “Need to get back to it before ze delvers finish eatin’.”I waved him goodbye and went the long way around the toads. There looked to be a half dozen of them, with more being brought over from the other side of the outpost. They probably had a corral of some sort for them and the horses.I took in all the shops that the outpost had to offer. There was a grand total of three of them, which wasn’t that impressive. Still, it seemed like Rockstack was made to cater to adventurers and the like, so I expected the shops to maybe have better gear and such.The blacksmith’s shop was the one to the far left, so I chose to start there. A snoop through the windows revealed stacks of swords and spears and all sorts of weapons left alongside racks of armour.I opened the door and was assailed with the shriek of metal-on-stone, drowning out the jingle of the little bell above the door."If you brought it last night, it's not ready yet!" someone screamed over the din from the back of the shop.“Um, no!” I called back. “I’m just here to look around.”The whirring noise continued, but I could hear someone moving. I prepared a nice smile to welcome them. The smith was a big bird person, her white feathers turned black with grime and her entire front covered by a thick apron. “If you’re not here to buy,” she squawked, “Then be elsewhere.” She emphasised every word with a swing from an unfinished sword.“Oh, okay,” I said before backing up and out of sword-reach. I turned around, careful not to knock anything over with my backpack, and ran out of there. Maybe I could try again when she wasn’t so busy. It wouldn’t do to dismiss a potential friend just because they were a little gruff.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.I’d try again tomorrow!My next destination was the general store next to the blacksmith’s shop. This one had a much bigger floorspace filled with shelves laden with stuff. Most of the things on display were strange twists on the ordinary. Cans of food with tabs on them next to paper-wrapped strips of jerky. Jars of salt and boxes of soap.There were non-food things too. Stacks of baskets, sacks, and flasks all in neat rows. There were scales for sale (2 sil) and a barrel filled with long wooden poles (3 cop ea.) next to a stack of torches. There were little bands with stones sewn into the front labeled as genuine runelights going for a silver each next to Fur-B-Gone magic razors.I smiled at the older looking grenoil behind the counter as I continued to browse. The ads on the walls caught my eyes with their colourful displays. ‘Croaker’s Delight’ was apparently a brand of cigars and ‘Deep Delve Wax’ a sort of wax to put on leather that was guaranteed to make it waterproof.Then at the back I found rolls of dark pelt (Sombral Skin, 1sil/yrd) and bits of bark in a box labeled Dryad bark that was going for a few copper an ounce.I had to hold back a laugh at the strange, yet magical feel of the place. So many ordinary things right next to extraordinary ones. Then I saw the glass display near the counter with books inside and I rushed over. “Ohh,” I said as I took them in.“Interested, missy?” the old grenoil asked. “I’ve got Ze basics and nozing but, I’m afraid. Flare’s Compendium of Basic Magics, Ze Deep Dungeon Delvers’ Dictionary and a few others besides. I’ve got skill scrolls too. Fireball and Mana Manipulation. Some martial art guides.”I snapped to attention. “Fireball?” I asked.The grenoil croaked a laugh. “Indeed!” He reached into a cubby-hole filled rack behind him and pulled out a scroll which he placed on the table. The end caps were simple wood, but they had little fire carvings marked on them. “Zese are three sil each,” he said.I winced at that. I could afford them but there were other things I would need and— “I’ll take it.”The shopkeep grinned and placed the scroll to the side. “Anyzing else?”“Um, the book on basic magics, how much is that?”“Zree lesser gold,” he said with a straight face.That was over three hundred meals over at the inn. That was three hundred nights in my tiny room with the nice bed. Were books really that expensive? “I’ll think about it,” I said. “Um, I do have some things to sell,” I said as I put my backpack down.“Show me, show me. I trade a lot in monster drops here,” he said.The first thing I placed were the parts of the plants I had collected. “Um, these are from plants that I ran across on the way here. Blood Dandelion, Red Chockerberry...” I paused as the shopkeep waved his hand in a ‘no’ sort of gesture.“Sorry miss, I could buy zese off of you. I can see what zey’re worth after all, but Dylan next door would give you a fairer price for your flowers. I would merely resell zem to him for a markup.”“Oh,” I said. “That’s very honest of you. Thank you!”He shook his big froggy head. “No no, it behooves one to be honest in his dealings. And zis outpost is almost entirely populated wiz dungeon divers and explorers. A bad reputation amongst zem would hurt more zan just my bottom line.”“Well, thank you anyway,” I said. “What about ghost cloth?” I reached into my back and pulled out two squares of ghostly cloth.“Zis I’m more familiar with. An uncommon material from a common foe. Zey would be farmed but farming ghosts is tricky business. Zese are in nice condition,” he said as he examined the cloth then ran a hand over it. “Good enough. Not ze market for it here, but I can send it to my guild affiliates for a tidy profit. I’ll give you two sil each.”Better than nothing. “Okay,” I said.The shopkeep stared at me then rolled his eyes. “You’re supposed to offer five, zen we meet at zree,” he said.“Oh.”He set the cloth aside and I wasn’t sure if I had just been tricked or not. “Alright. I also have this painting that I found.” I placed the small painting of a dragon and a boat on the counter. I had been dragging it around for a while, frame and all, but it was small and light. I took off the sheet covering it and let the shopkeep look at it. “Do you have a skill to know what things are?” I asked. “I have Insight.”A moderately high quality painting of a dragon over a fishing boat, old.“I have Appraise, which is similar. Not as... insightful, pardon ze pun, but better at judging ze value of zings. Zis painting is worth forty sil, for example.”“Really?” I asked.“Yes, I’ll give you ten.”My shoulders slumped. “Oh, okay.”The shopkeeper sighed. “Fine, twenty.”I grinned big and proud at him. I had made so much!“Okay, twenty-five, but not a sil more.” He set it aside with a huff.“Thank you!” I said. The next item up was a small pile of silverware.The shopkeeper looked at them all quickly, then shrugged one shoulder. “Two cop each. Some are worth more, others less. Zese I can sell to zose coming in here, or bundle with my meal and survival packages and call some of zem higher quality.”“Okay,” I said. “This is my last item,” I said as I placed my magic wand on the table.The shopkeep made a strange face.“It’s a wand of cure hysteria. It still works. I used it.” To kill ghosts, but he didn’t need to know that.“No. Find a shop zat... specializes in zat kind of zing. Not here.”“Oh, okay,” I said.A quick tally later and I was leaving with twenty-six more silver and forty copper and, best of all, a scroll of Fireball!I was going to set so many things on fire!
Chapter Twenty-Seven — Planting the Seeds of a Quest
I wanted to start learning how to cast fireball, but I had other things to do, like check in on the next (and last) shop in Rockstack.The alchemist shop had the same sign hanging off the front as the alchemist shop in Threewells, a staff with a ball spinning around it. This one had two balls and I couldn’t remember if it was the same for the last I’d seen. Maybe it meant something?There was light within, so I pushed open the door and came to a stop in a small waiting area. To my left was what looked like a clinic with one of those faerie looking people buzzing around on four wings, they looked like a boy-faerie, but I couldn’t quite be sure. To the right was another door and next to it a window set into the wall with a counter jutting out, like a drive-through window at a fast-food place only probably not at all like that.The faerie person buzzed over, then landed daintily by the entrance of the clinic. “Can I assist you, human?” he asked. The voice was definitely a boy’s.“Eh? Ah, yeah. I’m looking for a Dylan. I have alchemical stuff to sell. Plants and things.”The faerie nodded quickly. “Of course. Just one moment then,” he said before taking to the air and casually drifting to the window and knocking on its frame. “Dylan, you unprofessional oaf, you have a customer,” the faerie said. He turned back to me. “He should be with you momentarily. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”“Ah, maybe? I’ve never met someone like you, but you seem nice. What’s your, um, species?”One of the faerie's little eyebrows perked up. “I’m a Sylph. Try reading a book if you find yourself lacking in knowledge, it might help.” He looked at me for a while. “Maybe more than one book.”I watched the Sylph flutter back to his side of the clinic and held back a huff. That had sounded positively rude, but maybe Sylphs were just naturally brusque, and the advice itself wasn't that bad. Maybe there was a Planeswalking for Dummies book out there?I ambled closer to the window and peeked into the next room over. It was a mess. There were tables and counters all over, all of them covered in pouches and jars full of glowy stuff and boxes that had been labeled with things, then had those labels scratched out and replaced by others in sloppier and sloppier handwriting.There were tools too. Alembics and what looked like bunsen burners, kettles with long necks and glass bottles with loopy tubes sticking out of them like something from a mad scientist’s wet dream. There were racks to the side filled with finger-sized bottles that had paper labels with things like ‘health’ and ‘water resistance’ glued to them.I couldn’t decide if I should have been excited at the prospect of magic potions or kind if disgusted at how messy the place making them was.“I’m coming, I’m coming,” a man’s voice said a moment before someone, presumably Dylan, came around a corner and placed a bunch of empty vials on a table already covered in stuff. I winced as one of them went off the edge and exploded in a crackle of glass. “Oh no!”“Do you need help cleaning that?” I asked.“No no, It’s all well,” Dylan said as he abandoned the table and came closer. He had a bit of a limp as he walked, I noticed, then I saw the glasses perched across his froggy face and I had to hold back a giggle at how big they made his eyes look. “I’m Dylan. How can I help?”“Ah, hello Dylan. My name is Broccoli Bunch, and I would love to be your friend.”“Zat’s nice?” Dylan said. “I don’t sell zat kind of potion zough.”There were friendship potions? “What? No, no, I mean.... Oh, shucks, nevermind. I have some plants that I picked up that I thought you might be interested in.”“Plants can be good,” Dylan said as he wiped the window’s counter clean with a sleeve. “Show me what you’ve got!”I nodded and pulled out a small cloth with some drying red chokerberries.Dylan took then, sniffed at the pile, then popped one into his mouth. “Mmm, still good. But not what I’m looking for, I’m afraid.”“Ah, okay,” I said. I pushed the cloth aside, then because I could I plopped one of the berries into my mouth.Next came a few blood dandelion buds. Dylan made a content sound and poked them with the tip of a finger. “Much better. One moment.” He left, then returned with a scale which he set to one side and a pen and paper. A few moments later he nodded. “Seven cop for all of it.”I was a little disappointed, but then again it had only taken me moments to gather. I could get a lot more easily enough. If a barmaid made two silver a day, then I could easily make just as much with dandelions alone.“You’re not interested in chamomile or milk thistle?” I asked and he shook his head. “Okay then. I have some march rose buds.”“Oh, zose would be worz somzing in Port Royal. Zey make fine nutrition potions, scurvy cures and.... marital assistance potions. I can’t give you much here zough. Ze locals are all dungeon divers and ze like, zey are in good healz until zey’re not. Two cop each?”“Darn,” I said. Still, I didn’t have any use for the buds. They were to prevent scurvy and acted as an aphrodisiac, and I had inn food now and I wasn’t married so I didn’t need them and they would go bad eventually.Six copper coins were added to a small pile, bringing my total up to thirteen copper. Enough for a good meal.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.“And this is the last plant I have that might interest you,” I said as I placed the stems and leaves of the seven-petal candle flower I had found onto the counter.Dylan cooed, a strange sound from a froggy throat. “Seven-Petal. Where did you find it?”“On the road here. I asked a pixie and it helped me,” I said.“A... pixie? Well, I suppose zey would know. A rare find! And valuable. Freud-Slip doesn’t have many fire-based traps, but it does use zem on occasion.”“Freud-Slip?” I repeated.“Ze Dungeon in the swamps to ze south. Ze one ze delvers are all here for? Is zat not what you came for?” he asked.I shook my head. “Nope. Just got a little lost. I’ll probably be leaving with the next caravan to Port Royal, but until then I’ll be around the outpost.”Dylan tapped his chin for a moment, then looked down at all the stems and leaves I had brought him. “Twenty sil for ze lot,” he said. “And I have a request. You’re a human. Humans like quests, yes?”“I am and I’ll listen if you have something for me to do,” I said as I gleefully watched my wealth grow. I was now up to a whopping twenty silver and thirteen copper. “I’d love a proper quest.”“Are you wiz any guild?” he asked.“Not yet, but I want to join the exploration guild maybe.”“Zen zis will be right up your alley, as ze humans say. Zere was a dungeon called Dunwich not too far from here some time ago. When we came here we rediscovered where it used to be, but it was destroyed long ago. Ze negative mana around ze area has made it unwelcoming to most and zere are a few apparitions in the area. It’s not too dangerous, but it isn’t safe. A plant grows zere called ze Two-Lipped Tulip.”“Wait a moment,” I said before searching through my back, out came my herbology book which I placed on the counter to search through.“Zat is a very nice book. Forty sil.”“Nope,” I said with a grin. Dylan didn’t even look disappointed that I had refused. It took some leafing (hah!) but I found the right page. There was an illustration of two flowers. The first a tulip that had strangely curved flowers that did look like lips. The second a similar plant, but the flower was gaping open to reveal a pair of fangs dribbling with liquids that I bet weren’t good for anyone’s health.Two-Lipped TulipA plant that actively seeks out areas with rot-aspect mana, or places with negative mana. They grow quickly and should be considered a weed, though unless they are near populated areas it may be best to leave them alone as they are known to purify an area’s mana though at an incredibly slow pace. The flower can whip around and ‘bite’ animals and unwary herbalists, injecting them with a weak to mild venom that will drain the person’s health over time.The flower contains a pair of sacks that hold their venom. The liquid is a great coating-based poison, but can also be used in strengthening potions and as a base for drain-based potions such as ‘drain disease.’“These look kind of dangerous to mess with,” I said.“A little. I will give you one sil per poison gland. Zere are two per flower. I need no more zan fifty for now.”“That’s a good amount of silver,” I said. “What do you need them for?”The alchemist shrugged. “Some for experimentation, but most will go towards drain-madness potions. We need many for ze local dungeons. It’s still young but it is dangerous.”“I’ll think about it,” I said.We soon shook over the plants I had already sold to him and I walked out accompanied by the happy jingle of a couple of pouches full of silver.The inn, when I walked in, was completely empty except for the two barmaids and Juliette sitting by the bar. “Where is everyone?” I asked as I moved closer.Juliette snorted. “Gone. Ze lot of zem. Zey are here for ze dungeon and wiz no travel to and from it at night ze only time for zem to work is now.”“How does that work, dungeon diving for a living, I mean?” I asked as I took a seat next to Juliette and sighed as I got the weight off my feet.“Zey go in, zey find zings, zey come out and pay ze taxes on zem, zen zey sell it all to the guilds for some tidy profits. Zen zey come here and make my inn a mess. You can clean ze rooms zat are unlocked. Same price as last time.”“I might do that. Dylan gave me a quest though, and I wanna try my hand at it. Maybe after I’ve met some of the adventurers, they seem nice. Oh, and I bought a fireball scroll!”“Cast zat indoors and you can sleep outdoors, wiz an empty stomach,” Juliette said.I pouted at her, but it bounced off her tough maternal hide to no effect. “Fine, fine. Maybe later. Can I have lunch or is it too late?”“It is never too late for lunch in my inn,” Juliette said. “As long as you have ze coin for it.”I nodded and watched with an eager smile as she got up and waddled over to the kitchens. I hadn’t even placed an order but I trusted anything she brought would be super delicious.Nancy the barmaid shifted over one seat to be next to me. “Be careful around ze divers. Some of zem are not ze sort of people you would want around a young woman. Zey might not look it, but zey kill for a living. And when some of zem don’t come back. It’s not always ze dungeon’s fault.”“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said truthfully. Then Juliette was returning with lunch and my focus turned to chowing down.
Chapter Twenty-Eight — JourneyBun
I stared at Mister Menu, reading and re-reading what was written on his blue-ish surface. The broom in my hand was a little slack and if Juliette made the rounds to see how things were going with the cleaning she would probably have been disappointed to see me slacking off.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cleaning skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B costs two (2) Class Points“Two class points?” I whined. That was so many! In fact, that was every point I had left, and I had no idea when my next level-up would come around.Jumping was going to rank-up soon too, would it cost two points to get it to rank B? That was awful! I would be stalled forever.I pouted at Mister Menu while I finished up my cleaning work. Only a bit over a dozen rooms had been left unlocked, which meant I was making a lot less money per day cleaning than I had expected. Enough for a meal at the inn or to rent a room for the night, but not both. I had enough coins set aside to last a long while, but I was going to start spending more than I was making.Returning to the main floor, I found Julliette tidying up around the bar. “I’m done,” I said. “fourteen rooms in all.”“Do you want ze coins now?” she asked.“Can you use them to cover for another night? The same room and all?”Juliette nodded absently. “Fourteen for ze room and a meal. Just one.”“Really? Thank you Juliette! You’re the best,” I said, my mood lifting considerably. “Hey, do you know about rank B skills?”“Rank B? Ah,” Juliette said. “You cleaning has gotten better?”I nodded vigorously. “Yup! Just a few minutes ago.”The big frog matron returned to her work, passing a cloth between bottles to dust them off. It was work that I could probably have done, but then Julitette would be left with nothing to do. “How do your skilll ranks display zemselves?”“Eh?”“Do zey appear as colours? Numbers? Shapes?” she asked.“Um, they show up as ranks? Rank F at the start, then they go backwards through the alphabet.”Juliette made a noncommittal sound. “Very well. Every person sees zem differently. Well, mostly differently. I see ze letters and numbers of ze first language I learned. But my ranks feel like... bottles being filled.”That kind of made sense. If someone didn’t know how to read they still needed to be able to interact with their system. “So each person’s system is unique?”“As unique as you are a unique human,” Juliette said. “Zat is to say, most humans have legs, two arms and a head, but zey are not grenoil. Most people from a place will have similar, what did you call it, systems.”“Neat,” I said. “So do others need class points to raise their ranks, or whatever?”“Zey do. Ze name for each rank when you don’t know ze people you’re dealing wiz is novice, intermediary, apprentice, disciple, journeyman, expert, master. Zere are some above zat, but you won’t see zem anytime soon.”I sang the alphabet song in my head a few times to get all the letters and names right. “So to get to disciple you need a skill point?”“Yes, zat’s right.”“And journeyman needs two?” I asked.Juliette nodded. “Zen expert needs three, and master five.”“Five?!” I asked. “That’s five levels worth of points.”“Above master needs even more,” she said. “Which is why you won’t see skills zat high.”I slumped onto the bar’s surface, letting the overwhelming despair get to me. “It’s going to take forever before I’m super powerful,” I muttered. “So much work.”Juliette croaked and tossed a dirty rag onto my head. “My bar is a happy place. Go be mopey elsewhere.”I huffed at her, but cleaned her rag all the same then left it on the counter next to me as I got up. “You’re right. I need to think a little and maybe go on an adventure again! Ah... wait, do you know what Cleaning does at journeyman level?”“No. Now go. Supper won’t be served for anozer four hours. Not until ze adventurers return.”I waved Juliette goodbye as I ran off to my room and started looking for my things. I hadn’t made my choice about Cleaning’s rank B yet. The numbers were still working themselves out in my head, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t do other things. Dylan’s little quest sounded like an easy enough task.I’d get to explore a little beyond the outpost, and I’d maybe make enough silver to... buy myself something nice. Like that book on basic magics. Oh! And I could practice fireball while out of the outpost. The lands around here were pretty marshy, so it was unlikely I’d light the whole world on fire.Probably.I was grinning as I set Orange on my bed then started slipping on my armour and gear. In no time at all I was ready and set for adventure! Then I realized that I didn’t need all my stuff if I was returning, so I left some things behind. I brought my shovel, my herbology book, the firestarter and a candle and some food and water for the trip. My silver and gold I tucked under the mattress. If I needed more than the ninety odd coppers I had on me I could always return.“Let’s go, Orange!” I said to my kitty companion.The archway into the outpost was guarded by the same two bored-looking grenoil as the last time. “Hello boys,” I said as I approached them. “I was wondering if maybe you could help me with some directions?”“I’ve nothing better to do,” one of them said as he leaned into his spear. “It’s a long walk to ze dungeon from here zough.”“No no, I need to find the, ah, Dunwich dungeon place. I’m going flowerpicking.”If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.“Flower— whatever. It’s to ze west and north of here. Can’t really miss it. Ze whole place stinks of rot. Follow ze smell.” He pointed off in a direction that I suspected was northwest. Which... after looking around, made me realize that the big city-Port Royal-that I had been using as my north was actually to the northeast.“Oh, I have a map,” I said before pulling Leonard’s map from my bandoleer. “Could you tell me where it is on that?”He looked at it, then at me. “You see ze big skull and crossbones?” he asked. When I nodded he continued. “It’s zere.”“Do you know anything about the place?” I asked. It wouldn’t hurt to know what I was getting into. Leonard certainly seemed to think that knowledge was important for an explorer and I was willing to bow to his experiences on the matter even if he has been a big grump.The guard who had been the least talkative so far nodded. “Group of divers went a week or two back. Came back right startled zey did. Said zere wasn’t anyzing worz looting zere zough.”“Zere used to be a dungeon zere before some filzy dog broke its core. World curse zem. Ze area has bad air, but most monsters know better zan to stick around.”“Spooky,” I said. “And awesome! I wanted to know why Leonard didn’t want me to go there. I guess I’ll find out! Thank you mister guard.” I smiled at the pair then spun on one heel and marched off.My pack was lighter on my back and I had a full tummy, which was enough of a change that I could move a whole lot faster than before. That, and instead of the meandering kind of lost way I had scurried across the forest a few days ago, I now knew more or less where I was going, which was very helpful.As soon as I was out of the clearing around Rockstack I took to the trees and climbed the tallest one I could until I was standing on a branch that let me see over the swaying forest all around.Northwest, as it turned out, was towards a range of big mountainous hills. Not big pillars of stone like the mountains to the Northeast, but still impressively big hills with windswept tops and a distinct lack of plant life.I could see a cliffside up ahead that was going to be tricky to climb up. “Seems that’s where we’re going,” I told Orange as I walked off the branch and plummeted to the ground with a whoop.I landed in a skill-enhanced crouch like a superhero and instantly felt a thousand times cooler. “Hey, Mister Menu, is there a ‘cool’ skill I can unlock? Pretty please?” I asked.The menu didn’t deign to answer.Shrugging, I started walking, mind contemplating different things like superhero landings and how hard they would be to do with pants on. It would be super embarrassing to land in front of some bad guys only to have the inseam of my pants tear open. I vowed to avoid doing that.Reaching into my pack, I pulled out the fireball scroll and unrolled it a little. The advantage of a proper scroll was that with both hands I could reveal only as much of the text as needed, though reading and jumping proved to be too complicated after I nearly ran into a bush.Grumbling, I set aside the scroll for later. There were just so many things I wanted to do, but so little time to do them in. Maybe I could learn some time magic to give myself more hours in the day in which to do stuff.My jumps grew a bit riskier as the number of trees around me started to dwindle, soon I was forced to land and start walking across rough stony ground, feet brushing over brown grass that barely reached my ankles.I took a deep gulp of breath, expecting to get a lungful of fresh mountain-y air but... not. The air was off. Not something I could pin right away, not until I remembered what Dylan said about negative mana being strong in the area. Did that mean that negative mana was an actual thing, or was it just an absence of mana? Like a shadow being an absence of light?The more I learned about my strange new home the more I realized I didn’t know much at all.I used a bit of mana on my shoes, cleaning them of dirt and dust and mud in an instant, then I kept an eye on my status while I started climbing uphill. I didn’t have a timepiece on me, but it felt as if it took far, far longer than usual for my mana to tick up one point.Scary indeed. I could imagine that people used to a more or less fixed return on the amount of mana they had would be spooked by the change. Or maybe it was something else about the area that had them scared?I arrived at a spot where the uphill cimb shifted from a slight slope that was good for the calves to a rising cliff that rose half a dozen meters above me, all jagged stones and rough rock walls that seemed impassable at first glance.But the cliff probably wasn’t expecting the intrepid Broccoli Bunch to tackle it!I crouched down while scanning for a nice spot on the wall, then I found a place where I could land-just a small ledge about a third of the way up. There was another outcropping a little higher than that too, one I could use for a final hop to the top.The first jump had me just barely overshooting the ledge, and I found myself hugging the wall to avoid going splat. After calming myself down I jumped up another meter and a bit to the second outcropping, then shot upwards to the top.It was only when I was at the top of the cliff that I noticed the path leading up it to the side.Oops?Shrugging, I started following the road, probably one dug in place to allow for carts to get to and from the dungeon. I was getting just a little excited at the idea of exploring a whole new place, even if there wasn’t much to see there.
Chapter Twenty-Nine — Mad Hare
The Dunwich site was kind of strange. I didn’t just mean that the air felt off, which it certainly did, but there was a sense that everything was just a little too... light. I bounced on the spot a few times and tried to pinpoint the feeling, but it wasn’t easy.Once, when I was a much smaller Broccoli, my parents and I had gone camping near a mountain. We went hiking one day and spent the whole afternoon climbing towards the peak. It was a big slopey mountain, so the climb wasn’t too rough, and there were well-trodden paths leading all the way up. As we got closer to the top the air felt harder to breathe, lighter. The air around Dunwich felt the same, but without the altitude to explain it.That, and there was a stench to the air, as if someone had farted nearby and I was only catching stinky whiffs of it when the wind shifted.I scrunched up my nose and started looking around. The Two-Lipped Tulips might be hard to find. I hoped they weren't. It had taken a few hours to arrive, and I suspected that it would take a couple more to get back to Rockstack. I didn’t want to be stuck in the woods at night.The path ahead turned one final time and the ground evened out onto a plateau. To my left I had a spectacular view of the Darkwoods, a sea of trees stretching out to the distance, with marshes to the East and mountains stretching out to the North. I even caught a glimpse of what might have been a huge lake way off in the distance to the South.Those things were all far away though. I focused on what was to my right.There were a few buildings still standing even against the test of time. The nearest pair were wooden shacks with tiled roofs, just like the buildings in Threewells. The final building, this one further on the plateau, was a huge construct of corrugated tin, with a rusty metal roof and huge streaks of muck on its sides.The tin building looked like an abandoned warehouse from back home, strangely out of place in a world where I expected everything to be made of wood and brick. It just made me want to explore it even more!Orange jumped off my shoulder and started walking in the air before me as I made my way towards the first little shack. There were big windows on the front of it, windows that had been broken inwards some time ago. The door was a few meters away, left to rot on the stoney ground.“Yikes,” I said as I moved into the darkened interior and took it all in. There were chairs and a table and a couple of bunk beds at the back. A small cast iron fireplace sat to one side and there was a tiny little closet against one wall. Not even a bathroom.The place had seen better days. No chests, no floorboards to hide anything under, and a tug at the creaky door of the fireplace just revealed ancient coal sitting on a pile of brownish ash.“A bunk house then,” I muttered. “Probably for the adventurers coming to the dungeon.”Orange ran back to me and I picked her up to set her on my shoulder. I poked my head out of the front door to make sure there wasn’t anything mean around, then left the bunk house and headed for the next.This one was in worse condition than even the bunkhouse had been. It was a small home, with two floors and a tower built into the side that rose up even higher. A guard station, maybe? Or a more permanent residence?Either way, I found the door smashed in and moved into the darkened interior. The place had a pair of offices at the front and, as I moved towards the back, I found a small clinic with a tall bed and some rusty tools left on the floor. There had been tables and desks and chairs and other things here, but most had been broken or kicked aside. Footprints on the dusty floor suggested that it hadn’t happened all that long ago.The adventurers from Rockstack? That was a distinct possibility.The second floor had a few small bedrooms and access to the tower proper. It was on the top floor that I got my first glimpse of what had to be the Dunwich dungeon itself, or the place it had been.The Dungeon’s entrance was shaped a little like a mining shaft, a deep dark hole in the walls of a rocky outcropping. Wooden beams formed a rough archway around the entrance, all of them scorched black as if something had exploded out of the hole.The ground around the dungeon was blackened by fire and the few bits of vegetation around it were all skeletal and dead.“I am not going in there,” I said to Orange. I had seen horror movies before, I knew what happened to cute girls going down dark shafts.I was on my way down the tower when I heard a strange sound, a sort of yowling roar as if someone stepped on the tail of a giant cat.You have heard the screech of a creature of madness! Your mind is shaken.I stumbled down the next few steps and had to hang onto the creaky rails to prevent myself from falling even further. The world swayed.I giggled, because it had been such a funny noise.I was smiling so hard it hurt when I made my way to the first floor and stepped out without so much as looking around. I didn’t need to look around because looking too much was just silly.Orange moved ahead of me and blocked my path, so I stepped around her.She floated before me and blocked my path again. “Get out of my way, you stupid cat,” I said.I blinked.Orange gave me a kitty glare.Shaking my head I tried to refocus and found my mind all fuzzy and strange. My next step had me stumbling sideways until I bumped into the house and just clung to the wall for balance. “What?” I wondered.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.The noise, the screech. It had to have done something. I re-read the warning mister Menu had given me with mounting horror.“Oh, that’s bad,” I said. I knew it was bad, and yet I wanted to either start laughing or curl up in a ball and scream and I couldn’t decide which to do.Orange pushed herself against my neck and I felt her entire body rumbling with a gentle purr. Had she been trying to stop me? But stop me from what? The madness had only lasted a little bit, but it had been pulling me towards something, making everything but the idea of walking over to it seem like a distraction at best.Very spooky.I took a deep breath to resettle myself, then fired a small bust of cleaning magic aimed at myself just to freshen up.It was like wiping away the fog on a window. As my cleaning magic moved through me I felt it pushing into my head and the cobwebs cleared up. It wasn’t as if my thoughts returned to me so much as the strangeness receded.Had I just cleaned away insanity?A glance at my status had me wincing.Health 111/115Stamina 84/125Mana 76/105I had lost health to that scream, not to mention the heavy cost to my mana reserves to wipe the insanity away. And yet I still didn’t have the slightest clue what the thing screeching at me had been.The options I had were pretty simple. I could return to Rockstack right away. The few silvers I’d get from finding the Tulips might not be worth all the trouble. Or I could look for the thing making the noise and at least see what it was.The third option, and the one I chose, was to push off the wall and head over to the next building.I did so slowly, cautious of the world around me and wary of anything that made any noise. I was going to snoop around that final building and at least try to get an idea of what had happened here.The Dunwich site was kind of creepy, but in the full light of day there wasn’t anything to worry about.Something scuffed against a rock and I turned around towards the dungeon entrance to see a monster waddling out from behind a rock. It was about the size of a big dog, with, at a glance, seven feet and three arms that ended in long-fingered hands. Its mouth reached from just below the hole where a nose should have been to its upper chest, a gaping pit in its front that dribbled with saliva.Pale skin chafed against a rock as it wiggled against it, the stone digging into flesh that peeled off in lumps. It opened its mouth wider and a pair of long tentacles slid out of it to rub at its side.“Nope,” I muttered.A hungry Dunwich Abomination, level 8.“Nopity, nope, nope nope.”The abomination must have heard me because it turned its strangely dog-like head my way and locked eyes with me. Much to my growing horror, the monster’s skin began to shift and warp and between one moment and the next it turned the same colour as the stones behind it and became nearly impossible to see from afar. That was, until it started wobbling towards me.“Oh shoot!” I said as I turned and started running away.The abomination screamed. It sounded human.You have heard the screech of a creature of madness! Your mind is shaken.I stumbled forwards, then came to a slow stop. Why had I been running? It was probably a nice monsty. And it was hungry. I could feed it!Cleaning magic burst through me and my mind cleared in fits and starts.The abomination was closer.I ran, putting every effort into outpacing and out-distancing the monster on my tail. There were some rocks ahead which I thought to weave through, until they started to wiggle and move my way.“Oh no. No no,” I said between pants.A leap brought me over the line of abominations and let me shoot past them, but I could tell that they were still right on my heels.The cliffs were ahead, a dip in the ground that would lead me to the forests below. I didn’t have time for the normal path, not when it meant looping back and forth a few times.This bun was not going to get caught by any number of tentacle monsters.I shot off the side of the cliff with a squeak, my stamina reserves dipping down as I tried to make get as far from the cliff’s edge as I could.I crashed into a tree.Something screeched behind me before a sickening splat sounded out across the region.Congratulations! You have caused Dunwich Abomination, Level 7, to drop dead! Bonus Exp was granted for splattering a monster above your level!Luckily for me, I had aimed at a large pine, so other than a body-full of sharp needles, I was mostly okay as the tree bent back with the impact then swayed to return to its original position.Turning, I looked at the top of the hill to see six abominations all standing in a row and glaring at me. “Hah, Made it!” I called back.They sprouted large, deformed wings.“Oh, that’s not cool,” I said as I started to scramble down the tree. Forget the flowers and forget Dunwich. It was a silly place for silly people and I didn’t want to be anywhere near it. It would suck to tell Dylan that I had failed, but better to fail a small quest than get tentacle monstered.The abominations landed in the woods just as I hit the ground and the chase continued.Trees blurred past as I ran deeper and deeper into the forest, my path hampered every few meters by fallen trees and thick brush. The abominations weren’t as fast, but they just barreled through the bushes in their way, not even breaking their flailing stride.And that’s when I ran face first into a very angry tree.
Chapter Thirty — A Very Handsome Tree
I stared at the tree.The tree glared right back.An irritated Dryad Tree Tender, level ??.I knew that I should have maybe been a bit more worried about the abominations following behind me, because... well, the because was rather obvious, they were angry madness-inducing tentacle monsters which wanted to eat me, that was a lot of reasons to avoid them.Still, I had just literally run into a tree person and I could at the very least apologize.The tree man was tall, with bark-brown skin that was rough and textured over his shoulders and sides and pecs, but over the more flexible muscles it looked smooth like the skin of a tree just beneath its bark, it even had a soft green look to it. His hair was long and whippy, like the branches of a willow and his legs were thick and literally trunk-like.He also had a really nice six pack and the kind of squarish shovel-like jaw that I was really digging. “Hey,” I said before running my fingers through my hair to straighten it up a little. “Sorry for running into you, Mister Dryad, sir,” I said.The tree-man’s eyes narrowed.“Tell you what,” I said as I kept my eyes on his and not on his chest. “How about we go out for lunch. I’ll pay. To apologize. I’m sure they have vegan meals at the inn.”Judging by the increasingly irritated look on the dryad’s face it was clear that I wasn’t very good at the whole flirting thing. Unfortunately, my only wingmen was a group of monsters that decided to interrupt my moment by bursting through the bushes behind me, tentacles whipping out ahead of them.I jumped away, making it to the lower branches of a tree a little ways away before turning around and holding my shovel close to my chest. I couldn’t just leave Mister Dryad to be swarmed by the abominations, not when he was going to be outnumbered six to one.The dryad’s hand shot out, catching the whipping tentacles of the abomination in the lead before he yanked the monster closer. His other arm shot forwards, fist burying itself into the monster up to the wrist.The abomination struggled, its many hands grasping at the dryad, at first to find purchase, then with increasing desperation until thorny vines burst out from under its skin and started wrapping around its body.I had to look away. The sight of the abomination, already on the gross side, being mulched by thorns the size of daggers, was just too much.Congratulations! Your ally has made Dunwich Abomination, Level 8, push up daisies! Bonus Exp was granted for eliminating a monster above your level! Due to not being the primary combatant your reward is reduced!Mister Dryad grabbed the next abomination and started doing terrible things to it, but there were four others, and they did not take kindly to their friends being pulped. Tentacles whipped out towards Mister Dryad and one of the monsters clamped down around his leg with its big nasty teeth.I couldn’t just watch.Screwing up my courage, I reminded myself that the abominations were big mean monsters and that it was okay to fight them. Sure, I had been the one to invade their home, but they were over-reacting with their long chase and their madness-inducing screams.I jumped off the branch I was on and landed on the head of the rear-most abomination, sending it planting face-first into the ground before I bounced off and landed next to it. My spade came down on its head with a clang so hard it made my hands rattle.It didn’t seem to do much to hurt the monster, but it did distract it.Then a tentacle grabbed me by the ankle and started dragging me towards one of the other abominations.“Oh no, no no no,” I said as I spun around and bonked the abomination behind me on the noggin. It didn't do much.I chopped at the tentacle with the edge of my spade, then hit it again and again until it sliced off with a wet squelch and I was free to shoot up and into the trees above.Mister Dryad had used the distraction to take out another one of the monsters. The two I had distracted waddled after me as I circled around Mister Dryad while he finished off their friend. The moment he was done, he turned to the abominations that weren’t looking his way and crashed into them like a falling tree.It didn’t take very long from there.Congratulations! Your team has eliminated five opponents (Dunwich Abomination, Level 7 x3, Dunwich Abomination, Level 8, Dunwich Abomination, Level 9)! Bonus Exp was granted for killing a monster above your level! Due to not being the primary combatant your reward is reduced!Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 5!Mana + 10Magic + 10You have gained: One Class PointI landed on the ground next to Mister Dryad and panted with a mix of exhilaration and adrenaline-fueled desperation that was only just fading. Then the smell of all the abominations hit me and I gagged.It had been easy to ignore the stench when I was busy running for my life, but now that I had a moment to relax I had no choice but to endure the stink. It was like inhaling raw sewage. My stomach surged, and it was all I could do not to lose my breakfast.Mister Dryad didn’t seem to enjoy it any more than I did, not if the way he stomped off was any indication.I followed after him, both of us moving upwind from the corpses of the abominations that were even now rotting at an accelerated pace. I could celebrate the level up when I wasn’t choking on stinky air.Mister Dryad walked a little ways away, then turned around to face me with his big arms crossed over his chest.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.I smiled sheepishly at him and rubbed a hand behind my neck. “So, ah, I’m sorry about all of that. I didn’t mean to bring those things into your home. They kind of followed me. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you please tell me! I want to be friends!”The tree person glared.“I really am sorry,” I said. “I was looking for some flowers when they kind of ambushed me, and the forest seemed like the safest place to run off to. But I learned my lesson! I’ll be a lot more careful next time I go snooping around.” It looked down towards my feet, then I caught sight of something from the corner of my eye and gasped. “You’re injured!” I said.Mister Dryads thick legs were covered in small scratches, the sort that would probably heal over in a little while. Those had to be from the tentacles. The wound that caught my eye were the large, jaggedy bite marks around his knee and calves. They looked deep and there was something leaking out of them.I stumbled forwards and Mister Dryad stepped back.Looking up, I met his eye, then gestured to his leg. “Let me see, please? I can clean out the wound, at least, and I have some cloth to bandage it up.”The tree looked at me for a long time, then slowly nodded.Smiling, I got down on one knee before him while slipping off my backpack. I regretted not buying any healing potions while I was at the alchemist’s shop. Maybe some salve of sorts. It would have been the smart thing to do, but doing the smart thing wasn’t always something I was good at.I carefully pressed a hand next to the bite and winced a little as I took it in from up close. The bark-like skin was split open, each jaggedy hole liberally smeared with some sort of putrid purplish... stuff. I didn’t want to touch it. There was also something coming out of the wound, brownish and sticky looking. Sap? That would make sense.I idly wondered if Mister Dryad could make me some maple syrup, then banished the thought.A glance at my status showed that I had plenty of mana, so I fired off a powerful burst of cleaning magic aiming for the wounds and the gunk within them.The purplish stuff fizzled away as my magic rushed to it. Mister Dryad shifted, but didn’t object otherwise. He did protest when I pulled out some long strips of cloth from my backpack and started tying them around his leg. “Hey, you can’t just leave this uncovered. It’ll get all infected and then it’ll take forever to heal. I don’t know what kind of infections work on a tree person, but I bet they’re not fun.”He paused and let me bind his wound with my makeshift bandage. I made sure to leave a cute little bow on the end, that way he could impress all the cute dryad girls. It would show off his manly ‘look at me injuries’ side, and also his cute feminine side. I wondered if he’d let me play with his willowy hair. I bet I could make it look really cool if I braided it.“So, what does a handsome treeboy like you do for fun around here?” I asked.Mister Dryad looked at me for a long, long time, then he opened his mouth. “... Fun?”I blinked. “Eh? You can talk?” I asked.He nodded with the kind of speed you’d expect from a tree-which was to say, fairly slowly.“Oh, wow. Okay, cool! I didn’t know dryads could talk. This is really neat.”He pointed to me. “...Talk.”“Yes! I can talk too, of course.”“... Too... much,” he finished.I almost collapsed. “No! I don’t talk too much! I talk just enough, I swear. I’m sorry, it’s just when I meet someone new I want to know everything about them so sometimes I ask too many questions and I guess I do come on a little strongly, don’t I?”He nodded slowly again. He turned around a little, looking deeper into the woods and I had the impression that he was getting bored with the conversation.“S-so, I’m looking for a flower,” I said. “Actually, wait, I never got your name!”He sighed, a noise like wind ruffling through leaves.“Was that your name?” I asked. “Oh right, I’m being silly again. My name is Broccoli Bunch. Like the veggie!”“...No.” He shifted a little. “Oak.”“Your name’s Oak? That’s a great name for a treeboy! I’m Broccoli, but I already told you that. So, ah, I’m wondering if you could help me. Not that you need to, you’ve helped me a ton already today.”Oak closed his eyes and I had the impression that he might have been praying to whatever a tree prayed to. “...Help?” he asked.“Yes! I’m looking for a flower.”Oak tilted his head to the side, then he waved his arm across the ground and all sorts of little wildflowers sprouted out of the soil and bloomed to life, their colorful petals turning a patch of the dreary forest into a brilliant rainbow patch full of life.“Whoa,” I said as I knelt down to poke at the flowers. I recognized them vaguely as common cornflowers and poppies. “Pretty!”“...Flowers.”“Yes, they are,” I agreed with a beaming smile. I set my backpack down, careful not to squish any of Oak’s flowers, and pulled out my herbology book.Oak frowned at it. “...Dead brother.”I froze. The book had, admittedly, probably been made from a tree of one sort or another. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I found this a while ago. I can’t say whether it was made with respect to your brother or not.”Oak considered that, then shrugged.I opened to the dog-eared page with the Two-Lipped Tulips and showed it to Oak. “This is what I’m looking for,” I said.He looked for a long time. “...Weed. Cull.”“Cull? You want to get rid of this kind of flower?” I asked.He nodded.“Well then, maybe we can help each other!”
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Chapter Thirty-One — In Which Broccoli Gives the Locals Weaponry
Oak led me back towards the Dunwich site, something that would have made me nervous if I hadn’t seen him tear an abomination apart with his bare hands.“So, where are those flowers?” I asked as I skipped along behind my new buddy. I decided that even though we were a boy and a girl walking through a forest together it didn’t count as a date. Sure, he had given me flowers, but I didn’t think there was any romantic intent behind the gesture.Too bad. Oak was kind of cute for a tree.Oak, being a tree... man of few words, pointed to the cliffs ahead, then to the rocky areas around their base. “Weeds,” he said.“Neat. So, what do you consider a weed? I would have thought that all plants would be good plants for you.”Oak gave me a strange look, one I recognized as the ‘you’re being very dumb’ look people gave me sometimes. “Weeds... bad.”“Well, that does explain some things, I guess.”We ambled past the first cliff and to a rocky bit of terrain next to it where the ground was covered in sharp rocks and craggy bits of dirt that seemed super dry from afar. The trees there were few and far between, all of them leafless and emaciated. Oak pointed to one of them, then to its base. “Weed.”I moved closer and saw what he meant. There was a Two-Lipped Tulip growing around and into a dying tree, its long, thorny roots coiled around the tree’s bark while a few of its fanged flowers were biting into it.The instructions in my book only said that I should be careful not to get bitten myself. I thought it would be fairly simple, but by the look of it the plant was more like a snake than merely a very angry bush.I reached out with my spade and poked at the stems before taking a long step back.Flowers snapped at the air where my spade had been.“Yikes. That is one nasty flower,” I said.“Weed,” Oak repeated.“You got that right. I wouldn’t want any of those in my garden. I kind of need the flowers though. Tricky.”“No... touch,” he warned. After a moment he decided to add to his warning. “Bite.”I looked up to the tree then, with a careless shrug, hopped up and onto one of the lower branches. It creaked under my weight, but didn’t crack. With the edge of my spade serving as an axe, I chopped off a long branch and tossed it next to Oak before joining him.“Cut... brother?” Oak asked. He didn’t look pleased at how I had treated his... brother, but he didn’t look ready for violence either.“Sorry, but with this I can help your brother.” It swished the branch in the air a few times, making sure that it was still fairly sturdy. Then I whipped it into the bush, skimming just over the top and slicing through a dozen stems. Some of the flowers bit into the wood, but that only helped to tear them out.I grinned as I swiped again and cut through ever more of the bush. It didn’t go as well the second time, but that was alright.“See, you just need the right tool.”“Tool,” Oak repeated as he stared at the long branch. He looked at the tulips again. “Cannot... touch.”“Right, so you make something to touch it from afar for you.” I brought the branch closer, then pried some of the flowers off the haft with my knife. They came off with a few deft flicks. I pulled out my old haversack from my backpack and tossed the flowers into it. The tough old material would probably handle a few bitey flowers.Oak looked at my stick for a long time. “Tool,” he said again.“Yeah. A spear would be better though.”“Spear?”I nodded. Dryads probably didn’t have much use for spears and the like, but it could come in handy. “It’s a long stick, nice and tough, and at the end you have a spearhead. That's, ah, like a leaf, but very sharp and hard. That way you can cut things from far away.” I wiggled my spade around. It wasn’t exactly spear-like, but it was close enough.Oak tilted his head to the side and swayed a little as he thought, then he bent down and touched the ground. Out came a long pole, as tall as he was, and at its end a long wavy leaf made of wood.“Can I see?” I asked as I gestured to the spear.Oak let me take his spear and examine it. It was kind of neat, though the leaf bit was a little bit too flexible still, and not nearly sharp enough. It looked flimsy, too flexible and whippy.“Here, make the sharp bits like this,” I said as I showed him my knife. “And if you can, a little bit less flexible. I think some flexibility is good, but not too much. But I’m not a spear person.”Oak studied the metal blade, then poked his finger with it a few times. “Tool,” he repeated.“That’s right!”His next spear was much nicer, with a slightly thinner haft and with a sharp wooden point that had little vein-y imprints on it. It was deceptively sharp and a fair bit heavier, though not so much that it was hard to swing around.“Nice,” I said as I weighed it and sliced at the air inexpertly. A few swipes at the bush sent bits of it flying as it cut through. “Insight.”A living spear of uncommon quality, new.“Good work, Oak!” I said.Oak nodded and made a second spear for himself, this one much longer and heavier. We got to work chopping up the plant from afar, then Oak approached it and stomped on the flower-less bush a few times. He really didn’t like weeds.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.The dryad touched the dying tree with a palm, then moved forwards and wrapped his arms around it in a deep hug.The branches shifted and the tree’s colour lightened from the rotting brown it had been. Tiny buds sprouted all along its branches and opened up to reveal pinkie-sized leaves.Oak backed away and picked up his spear. “Healed,” he said.“Wow, that was great!” I walked up to the tree, making sure that I didn’t step into any biting flowers, then gave it a hug too. A burst of cleaning magic shot into it and I saw bits of flower poof out of its base and disintegrate in the air. Had they been stuck in the tree’s base?“No... healing?” Oak asked.“Me? Not really, no. All I can do is clean. And holy heck did that ever cost a lot of mana. I’ll have to be more careful with the next one!” I grinned at my new buddy and then got to work picking up flowers from the ground. Oak had trampled a few and we had both chopped some up with our new spears, but it was okay, there were plenty more tulip bushes around.As we moved over to the next tree, I tried explaining other tools to Oak. He didn’t seem to care much for most of them, but when I explained what bows were he paid a lot of attention. “They’re like a curved branch with a string between the two ends that’s kept tense. So when you pull back on the string and then let go it snaps back into place. If you put a smaller stick, an arrow, against the string it’ll fly really far. Oh, but you need fletching. Um, that’s like a feather on the end, but I’m sure a leaf would work in a pinch.”Oak nodded slowly. “Tools,” he said.“Yes,” I agreed. “Tools are really handy. You can hunt things with a bow, though I guess you don’t need that if you can just grab things with like, roots and suchlike.”I wasn’t sure how many flowers I collected, but it had to be close to fifty because my haversack was filled to the brim. I shut the bag closed and made a knot with its drawstring before flinging it over my back.A glance at the sky revealed that it had begun to put on its night colours. It was far past the time for me to head out. I hefted my new spear and gave Oak a big smile. “I need to go, Oak, but maybe we’ll see each other again some day.”Oak looked at me with none of the tension and annoyance he had when I first bumped into him. “Grow,” he said.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Friendmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!I laughed aloud and gave Oak a big, clumsy hug. “I will!” I said as I took off.The trek back was just a little melancholic, but it was fun all the same. The path grew darker by the minute, until I could hardly see a step ahead of me. I considered finding a place to hide in the trees for the night, or taking out a candle and just walking, but then something stirred over my chest and a yawning Orange poked her head out from my bandoleer.“Wow, you’re very good at sleeping,” I said.She gave me a flat look before gazing around.“Yeah, we’re not exactly lost, but making it back will be tricky. I can’t see very well.”Orange made a huffing gesture, though it was soundless, then bounded off my chest and walked ahead of me. She glowed. It was faint, but still more than enough to light the path ahead.“Awesome,” I said.The kitty turned and gave me a look as if to say ‘I know.’We arrived at Rockstack to find the gates closed and barred, but the walls weren’t so tall that I couldn’t just jump up to one of their uneven sides, then up to the very top.The outpost was lit up by a hundred candles flickering in the night. Laughter and light flowed out of the Hop on Inn and a sea of firefly-like lights moved around the tents that took up the back of the outpost. The shops were darker, but some still had light pouring out of their top floors.I landed in a crouch inside the walls and shifted my packs around as I walked towards the inn. The talking and music and sounds of cutlery grew louder as I approached, as did the scent of delicious food wafting through the air.Grinning, I plucked Orange out of the air and set her on my shoulder, then pushed my way into the inn. I wasn’t home, exactly, but it was a nice place to be. I had had a tiny adventure for the day, and was more than ready for a heavy meal and a long sleep.I found a seat by the bar and slumped down. “Food please,” I asked as I fished out some coppers from my bag.“You’re alive?” Juliette asked. “I was almost starting to get worried. Where were you?”“Near the Dunwich site,” I said. A few heads turned my way, some eyeing my strange spear, others my well-worn but clean gear. I wished I could read minds, if only to know what they thought of me, but I dismissed that thought soon enough.Juliette shook her head as she placed a mug of something warm before me. “I’ll get you somezing to eat, you fool girl.”“Hey, I’m not that foolish! I levelled up after all.”“Humph. Zen we’ll get you a meal to celebrate wiz.”I leaned onto the counter, eyes closed as I soaked into the ambiance of the inn and the warmth of the hearth that warmed my back even from across the room. “That would be nice, really nice,” I said.
Sidestory Announcement — Oak: A Tree's Quest
Oak looked at his brothers and sisters and cousins. “Tool. Spear,” he said.He hefted the spear. It was a gift from Friend Broccoli. A Tool. His first tool.Two abominations were held against trees, roots wrapping around their struggling form. His spear lashed out. One of them died.Elm and Ash and Cedar and Pine watched.“Tool?” Ash, always inquisitive, asked.“Tree-Friend Broccoli. Cleaner of trees. Give tools.” He took a deep breath, his insides creaking with exhaustions. So many words.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.“Good,” Cedar said.He nodded. The next tool came up. It was a long pole, bent, with a taut vine between both ends. This one had confused him. Then he saw the frog-people hunters. He understood then.An arrow was nocked.He loosed.The second abomination squealed at the hit. He had missed its head, but it was still injured. The next arrow missed entirely. The third killed.“Tool... bow,” he said.“Use?” Ash asked.“Teach,” Oak said.Soon Sister Broccoli’s vision for an armed forest would be accomplished.
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Chapter Thirty-Two — Hop on Out
I arrived at the main room of the Hop on Inn, tummy protesting its lack of breakfast and the rest of me still miffed that I wasn’t in bed. I was so tired that my feet dragged and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open, but I had stuff to do, so I couldn’t just laze around all morning.The room was nearly empty of delvers, only a few of them sitting at the back and minding their own business while the barmaid swept the floor or replaced chairs. Juliette was in her spot behind the bar, idly flipping through a big book and making notes with quick twitches of a quill. Her own version of the ledger I had found in Threewells, maybe?“Heya,” I said as I slumped into a seat before her. I was only wearing my normal clothes because putting on my armour was too much to ask for before breakfast time. “Food, please,” I said before I let a handful of coppers clatter onto the counter.Juliette snort-croaked.My head landed on the bar and I might have snoozed because the next thing I knew there was a plateful of eggs and strips of meat and bread waiting for me. That energized me a bit. Juliette obviously hired the very best cooks because the food she served always tasted exceptional.“So, what are you doing today?” Juliette asked.“I don’t know,” I said after I swallowed. “Dylan gave me a quest yesterday, but it’s done. I guess I can go hand that in. But after that, I have no idea. Dunwich was way too scary, I’m not going back there until I’m at least level one hundred.”Juliette hummed. “I’ll see you in some decades zen,” she said. “If you’re not going to do anyzing productive, zen you should consider heading out to Port Royal early.”“You mentioned that the next caravan isn’t leaving for nearly a week,” I said.The barkeep started to clean her counter, a habitual gesture, I noticed. “Zere’s a group leaving today for Port Royal. Just a small one. More danger, but you wouldn’t have to wait as much, and I zink zat maybe more danger doesn’t scare you.”“Really? Do you know when they’re heading out exactly? From where?”Juliette nodded. “Come back in a few hours, I’ll introduce you to zeir leader. Zat is, if you decide to go.”“I’ll think on it,” I said as I returned to my meal. I was done all too soon and had to argue with myself not to order another helping out of sheer gluttonous greed. Back to my room I found Orange sleeping on my still warm pillow. I slid on all of my gear, put on my backpack and plopped my hat on. Orange went into my bandoleer again with minimal protest.The weather had taken a turn for the grey, the skies hanging low overhead and the air strong with the scent of oncoming rain. The cheery people I had seen yesterday were all gone, and the few folk still hanging around the outpost moved around in a hurry.I had a few things to get rid of. The plants for Dylan the alchemist came first though. Stepping into the clinic with a spear and a spade was a little strange, but it didn’t seem to bother anyone since there was no one to bother. The sylph I had seen last time was nowhere to be found.A few knocks on the window to Dylan’s section of the shop summoned the clumsy grenoil alchemist. “Yes yes?” he asked.“Hey Dylan,” I said before plopping the haversack full of flowers onto the counter. “I got your quest done,” I said.“Truly?” He eyed my sack, then opened the top to peak within. “Incredible. And such a large haul. I’ll need to count these. A moment please.”I didn’t get to protest as he moved to the far end of his lab space, shoved things aside on one of his counters and dumped out all of the flowers. He didn’t even flinch when one of them chomped on his gloved hands.I heard him mutter as he counted the pile, then nod before coming back. “Seventy-eight in all. Some are damaged. I’d give you less for zem, but you brought more zan I expected in one go. You’re quite good. Did you want ze excess back?”“Ah, no? I wouldn’t know what to do with them. But maybe we could trade them? I ran into these creepy monsters called Abominations out there and I realized after that I didn’t have so much as a healing potion.”“Zat’s foolhardy,” Dylan said. “A good potion can be ze difference between life and death.” His mouth turned down in a scowl and he limped off, coming back a moment later with five bottles. Two were plain old glass bottles with cork tops, but the other three were strange. They looked like three separate bottles that had had their tops fused together into one opening. “Two health potions. Common quality. Forties. Zree trifectas. Twenties.”“Um. Are the numbers the price?” I asked.Dylan stared. “You’re not familiar wiz potions?” When I shook my head he went on to explain. “Ze number given to a potion is how much impact it will have, usually as a flat percentage. A good potion maker will round it down.”“So those forties give forty percent of my health back?”He nodded. “Depending on ze severity of ze injury. Zese won’t regrow limbs, but zey will assist in ze healing process. Scrapes, minor burns, bruising and such.”“And the weird three bottle potions?” I pointed at the three he had set to the side.“Trifectas are generally weaker and more expensive, zey are also prized more by ze sort of people who have run-ins wiz Abominations while picking flowers. Zey will increase all of your main stats wizout interfering wiz each ozer. Some potions can do zat. You don’t want to take a healing potion, zen learn zat when mixed wiz your water breathing potion it turns into a poison in your stomach.”Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.“Yikes,” I said. “Does that happen a lot?”“No,” Dylan said. “But it has happened before. Zat’s why trifectas are popular. Also, zey help wiz many zings at once. Most delvers zat are low on heath are low on ozer zings too.”“That makes sense. So the potions for the extra flowers?” I asked.“And for my peace of mind,” Dylan said. He rooted around under the counter and then plopped down a single gold coin. “And zis is yours, for ze flowers you delivered.”“Thanks Dylan,” I said as I picked the coin up and clasped it close. That was a thousand copper right there. A hundred nights at an inn. Totally worth almost getting tentacle monstered. “I’ll see you around!” I said once I was done stashing away the potions. One of the trifecta potions went into my bandoleer for easy access and the rest were dropped into my backpack with some cloth wraps around them to keep them nice and safe.It had started to drizzle a little while I was inside, just a faint misting of rain that stopped and restarted twice in the time it took me to walk over to the general goods store. I considered selling my spear at the blacksmith’s shop, but the lady working there didn’t seem all that friendly to begin with.“Hello,” I called out over the jingle of bells over the door.The old grenoil by the counter looked up and gave her a big smile. “Ah, hello zere, young miss,” he said. “Looking for anyzing in particular, or just looking?”“A bit of both,” I admitted. “I need stuff for a long trek. I’ll be heading over to Port Royal later.”“Ah, zen you will need some zings, yes. Are you walking or taking a carriage?”“Um, walking, I think.”He nodded at that. “Zen food, a tent if you don’t have one, a pot to cook in. Do you have a warm blanket?”“I do, but another wouldn’t hurt. Do you have all of that equipment stored in a way that I can carry?”He smiled wider and moved off to the back with a ‘one moment’ called over his shoulder. He returned with a backpack with a rolled up tarp above it and a pot hanging off one side. “Zis is what zey call a traveller’s pack in any proper city. Everyzing you need for a week on ze road. Ze food isn’t tasty, but it’s nourishing enough, and it’s light.”We both undid the pack together and what followed was a quick flurry of adding and removing things. I didn’t need some of the things he had added like water purifying tablets, but wanted others, like a proper flask and one of those nifty magic lights meant to be strapped to one’s forehead.I made a small tally of all my gear, just to keep track of it because for some reason the world didn’t have handy inventories for everyone to use which was just totally unfair.One and a half jars of honeyOne silver candle holder with a dozen fresh candlesA small firestarterTwo blanketsSome bits and pieces of clothA length of ropeHerbology book79 Copper coins50 lesser silver coins8 lesser gold coinsA sack full of hardtack and beansTwo healing potions (40)Three Trifecta potions (20)A magic headlampOne waterproof tentA ponchoMy magic tea setA scroll of fireballA tiny compass.That-as well as the things I was wearing, my spear and my spade-was the sum-total of the things I had. Not that much, but way more than I had started with. I thanked the shopkeeper, handed over a few silver and told him to keep my beaten old backpack. The new one was a little bit more snug anyway, which would make it easier to jump with.My final stop was the inn. “Hey Juliette,” I said to the older grenoil lady who had moved out from behind her bar to chat with someone I didn’t recognize.“Broccoli,” Juliette said. “You’re almost late. Zis is Milread, she’s ze leader of ze party heading over to Port Royal.”I looked Milread up and down, she looked like a bird-person, like the blacksmith. Tall, almost a full head taller than me, with a sharp nose and inhuman eyes set in an otherwise ordinary, if pretty, face. Her uncovered arms had long brown and black feathers sticking out of them with sharp talons at the end and her bare feet were rough and ended in huge claws. “Hey there, lil’ human. Never seen a harpy before?”“Ah, not really from up close,” I admitted.“If you come with you’ll be seeing plenty of me, at least. Juliette says you’re good people, and she’s never done wrong by me yet.”“Oh, I just helped her a little with the cleaning, not much else, really,” I said before looking at Juliette. The woman huffed.“Broccoli’s a good kid,” she said. “Actually, before you go. Broccoli, can you do me a favour?”“Sure thing,” I said.Juliette reached down the front of her apron and pulled out a letter with a waxy seal on the front. “Zere is an inn near ze east gate of Port Royal. Can’t miss it. Ze owner is called Julien. He is my oaf of a husband. Give him zis, yes? I made a note to give you a room for ze night.”“Thank you!” I said as I took the letter and immediately stashed it away in my backpack. Then I wrapped my arms around the wide-eyed grenoil. “Thank you for everything, Juliette, I had a lot of fun! I hope we see each other again!”“You ready to go?” Milread asked. “The others are waiting.”“Yes, I’m coming. I bought everything I need for a few days of walking. Are there a lot of us?”“Calm down, little chick, you’ll have plenty of time to make friends,” Milread said, and I instantly knew I was going to like her.
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Chapter Thirty-Three — The First Step in a Short Journey
“Hi! My name is Broccoli Bunch!” I declared with one arm raised to headheight and waving. “This is Orange,” I said as I raised my other hand to show off my cute kitty companion. Orange glared at my new potential friends.There were three of them, two if I didn’t count Milread. Both were grenoil, one a boy and the other a girl.“Hello”, the man said with a nod of his big froggy head. He had a neat speckled pattern across his skin that I had never seen on a grenoil before and a pair of strange goggles hanging around his neck. Other than that, he looked like a business grenoil that had taken a tumble into some mud.The girl grenoil looked a lot younger and a whole lot sadder. Her focus was almost entirely on the ground underfoot, one hand absently rubbing at the pommel of her rapier-like sword.“You two ready to head out?” Milread asked. When she got nods from both of them she turned towards a one-horse wagon sitting in the middle of the road. “Well then, we just need to settle and we can be off. Broccoli, you missed it, but I’m charging a sil for the trip. It’s mostly to keep Missy fed.”“Is Missy the horse?” I guessed as I took in the horse hitched to the wagon, she-I guessed her gender because a boy horse called Missy would be a little strange-looked like a perfectly ordinary horse.“That’s right. Missy will save us some walking,” Milread said. “I hope one of you feels like holding the reins, I hate wearing gloves.” She wiggled her hands to show the long talons she had.The two grenoil found some coins to hand over to Milread, and I did the same. One sil wasn’t much for a multi-day trip. In fact, that was a great place to start a conversation. “So, Milread, why are you heading to Port Royal?” I asked.“I’m a courier. I go from Port Royal to this outpost to Fort Tempete and then Deepmarsh and back. Round trip takes about two weeks. It’s a living.” The harpy flapped her arms and kicked off the ground to land on the forward part of the wagon where a bench was built into it.The other two hopped onto the back so I decided to join her at the front.“All aboard?” Milread asked. “If you forgot something back here, it’s not my problem.” She grabbed the reins from a hook next to which a lantern was hanging and handed them over to me. “You’ve done this before?” she asked.“Nope, but I like horses,” I said as I took the reins. “Yah!” I screamed as I whipped the long leather cords.When the wagon finally stopped I ended up being sat in the back with the grenoil man.The floor of the wagon wasn’t very comfortable, especially since it was a small wagon with only two wheels and I was sitting right on top of the axle so that-even across the flattened ground in the outpost-my bum was bouncing all over the place and was going to get sore in no time.I ended up pulling out all the blankets I had and placing them on the floor to act as padding. The grenoil across from me harrumphed then did the same, pulling out a thick quilt from his pack and sitting on it with a humph.We moved past the gates of the outpost and I waved to the two guards who looked just as bored today as they did the day before. One of them even waved back.And then we were on the road.“So, why were you in Rockstack?” I asked the grenoil man.The grenoil looked at me. “You’re a chatty one, aren’t you?” he asked.“Yup! I sure am.”“Great.I was here for ze dungeon. I got what I came for, so now I’m heading home.” He leaned against the wooden sides of the wagon, then shifted to try and get comfortable.“You live in Port Royal?” I asked. “Ohh, I didn’t get your name. I’m sorry. I’m Broccoli Bunch.”“Severin Bleriot,” he said. “And no, I don’t.”The grenoil girl leaned back a bit. “I’m Noemi,” she said.“This is great,” I said. “I’m making so many friends today.” The wagon went over a rut on the road and I laughed as I had to grab the edge to stop from tumbling around.“World’s tits, what kind of potion is she on?” Noemi muttered. I don’t think I was supposed to hear that, so I didn’t comment. I wasn’t on any sort of potion, not unless friendship was a drug, in which case I was an addict.“So, mister Severin, if you’re not from Port Royal, where are you from?” I asked. We were moving at a fairly slow pace, no faster than I could walk really, but without any of the effort that came from walking. If it wasn’t for all the friend-making potential on the trip, I might have found it a little boring.The older grenoil closed his eyes. “I’m from Deepmarsh,” he said.“That’s twice now I’ve heard about Deepmarsh, is that a town nearby?”Severin opened his eyes and stared at me. “It’s ze capital of ze kingdom. Ze Kingdom of Deepmarsh... Ze Kingdom we’re in right now.”My smile became a little fixed. “I kind of got lost,” I said. “And I didn’t exactly have a map, you know?”Milread looked over her shoulder. “Why didn’t you just open your map?”“My map?” I asked.The harpy sighed. “I know not everyone uses it, but did you really not know? Focus on the idea of a map, your magic should take care of the rest.”I did as she asked, because even if it was a joke, and it didn’t feel like one, there was nothing to lose. It took a bit of focus, but I felt as if I had an option just waiting there that I had never toyed with, like an itch that I didn’t notice until it was suddenly the only thing I could focus on.
“You havegotto be kidding me,” I said as I stared. I could see all of Threewells and the curving path I took to get from where I had appeared all the way to Rockstack. “I had a map the entire time? Does it auto-update? That is, if I leave, and the area changes, will my map reflect that if I don’t know about it?”This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.“No, it doesn’t work zat way,” Severin said. I had the impression he was enjoying my disbelief. “What level are you at? I don’t recall seeing you wiz ze other delvers.”“I’m level five,” I said, my attention still on the map. It was obvious that the scale was off, but it was pretty accurate as far as I could tell. Everything I had seen was there, with big gaps for the places I hadn’t really explored except from afar. “Gosh I could have used this this past week.”“A poorly educated human, you must be from Mattergrove,” Severin said. “I assume zat you’re heading to Port Royal to find passage back home?”I looked away from the map for a moment to refocus on Severin. “Eh? No, no, I’m heading there to join the exploration guild and make a ton of friends!”“Ah, an explorer. I suppose zat would make us rivals,” Severin said.“Rivals?” I asked.He nodded. “Ze exploration and delvers guilds have been at each ozer's zroats for generations. It’s mostly harmless, zough I’m sure some eyes were browned in a bar fight or two over ze years.”“I guess that’s okay,” I said. “As long as it means we can still be friends.”Severin pressed his hands over his face. “Lady Hawk, would it be possible for your horse to move any faster?” he asked.“Don’t be grumpy you old frog,” Milread said. “The kid isn’t that bad. She’s just trying to make nice.”“Tch, fine. My apologies, miss Bunch. I did not mean to be short wiz you.”“It’s okay,” I said. “I come on a little strong sometimes. But I get so excited when I meet new people. I just want to be their friend right away, but most people need a bit of work before they’re ready for that.”“I... see?” Severin said. “Well, you have two days to get used to us and us to you.”“Joy,” Noemi muttered. It earned her a wing in the ribs from Milread.I tried to be nice and stayed quiet for a little bit. Instead of talking I scratched Orange, who had crawled down to my lap at some point, behind the ears as I took in the fresh air and lack of sunshine. The skies were still a dreary grey and the roads were covered in little puddles, but at least the rain hadn’t returned. The forests were... forests. I had been seeing forests all day.“So, what class are you, Severin?” I asked by accident. The question had just kind of slipped out.The grenoil croaked. “I’m a Mudmancer.”“Like a mud wizard?” I asked. “That’s neat. So is it its own... branch of magic or is it a combo or like, earth and water? Wait, where’s your staff?”“I do not need to carry around a large stick to validate my masculinity,” Severin said. He flicked his hand and a wand appeared between his fingers, a long piece of dark wood with silvery carvings all along its sides and a metal band near the handle.“I carry a spear,” I said before poking my spear with my foot. “I wonder what that says about my masculinity?” Milread snorted and even Noemi chuckled.I had made my friends laugh! Bun one, lack of friends, zero!“So, does having a wand help you cast spells?” I asked.“You don’t know anyzing about magic, do you?” he asked.“Nobody taught me,” I said. “If you want you could teach me, I’m an avid listener!”His wand flicked away back into his sleeve. “Teachers are paid,” he said.“I have some coins,” I said before pulling out my little pouch of coppers.Severin eyed the pouch, then me for a moment. “I suppose it’s ze choice between talking myself or hearing you prattle all ze way over to Port Royal, isn’t it?”“I am an excellent prattler.” I reached into my pack and found my scroll of fireball and held it up. “Would this help any?” I asked.He took it from me and unfolded it with an expert flick. It wasn’t his first magic scroll, I guessed. “Yes actually, zis would. You’ve been trying to learn zis spell?”“I wish I could start to try. I don’t know the first thing about casting spells so I’m mostly just getting confused by all the diagrams.”The wagon bumped and hitched along the road for nearly a full minute before Severin made up his mind. “Very well. Two sil for two days of teaching. To be paid ze moment you cast your first fireball. It’s a weak spell, a beginner one, it should be easy enough.”I scooted over so that I was on Severin’s side and could see the scroll at the same time as him. He looked a little uncomfortable at that, but didn’t protest. “Okay! I’m ready to learn. I really want my next general skill to be fireball or something awesome like that.”“Zat would take some time, depending on your class.”“My class matters?” I asked.He nodded. "You will tend towards skills zat suit your class most of ze time. You’re a...” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Cinnamon Bun? Never heard of zat one, but it doesn’t sound like a magic-focused class.”I thought that snooping at a person’s class was rude, but Severin didn’t seem to care. “I don’t think it is. It's more like a... bard class, but without the music, I think.”“A social class zen,” he said. “Learning a magic skill will be complicated zen, but not impossible. At ze very least you can make ze effort to cast zis spell, skill or no.” He rolled the scroll up until only the first dozen lines were visible. “Zis one is outside of my specialty, but I zink teaching it will be simple. But if you know nozing about magic zen we will not skip ahead.”“I’m ready to learn! I said.
Chapter Thirty-Four — The Embers of Magic
Milread and Noemi were both listening as Severin, who insisted that I sit across from him, spoke to me. They must have thought it was just as interesting as I did.“Magic is ze application of mana towards a specific task. Mana, in its natural state, will reflect ze environment it is in and zat environment will in turn reflect ze mana zat suffuses it. Ze great Ostri Desert has six sand-aspect dungeons wizin it zat keep ze climate inhospitably warm and dry. Ze Deepwoods we are in is home to a dungeon zat releases marsh-aspect mana.”“So dungeons give off mana that matches the environment?” I asked. “There are fire dungeons near volcanos and such?”Severin made a wibbly-wobbly gesture. “Yes and no. Zis is a chicken and egg problem. You are familiar wiz ze analogy?” at my nod he continued. “Ze world produces all mana. Dungeons conduct zis mana to ze surface, like wells. Somewhere along zat path, the mana begins to resemble the environment. Some dungeons don’t match zeir location’s ambient mana at first glance. Which is usually because mana always has two aspects. Zere is ze physical and ze metaphysical, but one of zese doesn’t matter when casting somezing as infantile as fireball. It is enough zat you are aware zat mana has aspects zat are needed to cast a spell. Ze more complex parts you can learn at anozer time.”I shifted on the spot, eager to get to the more hands-on part of the lesson, but also curious to learn more. In the end it came down to Severin’s preference, if he wanted to get to the practical parts I was okay with that. “I’m ready,” I said.“Calm down,” he said. “We will get zrough ze basic zeory first. Mana aspects are important, it indicates how mana will behave. Ze same spell construct zat you use for fireball can be used for a windball, or pureball spell wiz only slight tweaks to ze structure. If you want to cast an actual fireball, zen you need to take your natural mana and shift its aspect to zat of fire. Or you could do ze same to ze mana in ze air around us.”“I could conjure fireballs from nothing? Without touching my own mana... pool thing?” That sounded like it had a lot of very useful applications. Machine-gunning fireballs at my foes was a big ‘yes’ on the list of things I wanted to be able to do. As long as those foes were very mean and evil and okay to hurt and had already rejected all offers of friendship, of course. Maybe if I found them in the act of eating a baby or something.“Yes. When you’re a level forty archmagus you can do whatever you like with the mana in ze air around you,” Severin said.Noemi snorted a laugh. It didn’t hold her mood up for long, but she did laugh.“So, to re-explain as I am sure I will have to do many times. Mana has what we call aspects, mirrors of certain parts of nature. Fire-aspect mana is wild and ferocious. Water is tepid and calm and flows rather zan breaking. Earth is firm and tough. Zere are hundreds of aspects. Some people like to tie zem to a wheel of colours to see which aspect is near which ozer.”“Like... fire is red, water is blue?” I asked.“Yes, exactly. Zose people are idiots. Mana doesn’t care about colours or any such zing. Some aspects are bizarre. If you meet someone wiz insect aspect mana, run.”“O-kay?” I said. “So what kind of mana do I have? And how do I burn things with it?”Milread turned around on the bench to face me. “You’re not burning anything on my wagon, right?”I shook my head violently from side to side until she looked back towards the road.No fireballs on the wooden wagon. Noted.“Give me your hand,” Severin said.“What?” I asked.“Your hand.” He gestured with his. “Put it in mine.”I placed my hand in his. He had calloused fingers that were at once wet and rough as they wrapped around my much smaller hands. “Like this?” I said and it was absolutely not a squeak. I was a bun of the world. I had held hands with boys (my dad counted!) before. This was nothing.“Push mana towards your hands. You know how to do zis, yes?” he asked.“Like when casting a skill? Yeah, I can do that.” I pushed some mana towards my hands until my fingers tingled.“More,” he said, his mouth set in a big froggy scowl.I pushed some more until my whole hand was tingly, as if I had sat on them for a few minutes and they had gone to sleep, but with less loss of sensation and a lot more magic. It felt as if my hand wanted to do something, and do it right now.“You use cleaning magic a lot?” he asked. At my nod, he went on. “It shows. You have cleaning aspect mana.”“Is that... good? Special? Rare and really awesome?” I asked as he let go of my hands and I took them back. I let the mana I had accumulated go as a burst of cleaning magic into the floor of the wagon that left it nice and shiny.He made a dismissive noise. “It’s not uncommon. Usually for ze serving staff. Cleaning aspect is close to holy, light and water aspects. Casting your fireballs will be tricky.”“Aww,” I said. “So, how do I do it anyway?” I wasn’t going to quit at the first setback!“Fire aspect mana is needed first and foremost. Fire mana tends to consume a lot, and grow rapidly. It moves quickly and burns hot. Take your mana and make it do zose zings. Zere are no indicators for whezer or not you have it right. Get it close and it should work for ze spell. As I said, fireball is a beginner spell, it is very forgiving if your mana control is lacking.”I focused on a hand, then looked up. “I have no idea how to do any of that.”Severin rubbed at the spot where his nose would be were he a human. “Look,” he said. He brought his hand between us, then let me watch as a shimmering haze formed around it. It became more solid, then started to look a bit like gelatin that was wet and see-through. “Mud aspect. My mana’s natural state. And now, fire.” The shimmering mana stuff twisted and warped and was soon shivering a whole lot, then it started to wiggle as if in a heat haze, the edges flickering like tongues of fire.“Awesome,” I said as I stared at the nearly transparent flames. “So, I do that with my mana and then I get fireballs?” I asked.“You do zis wiz your mana,” he said before wiggling his hand as if to dry it, the mana fading away in moments. “And zen I teach you ze way to twist your mana into ze spell.”“Cool!” I said.What followed was an hour of the wagon bumping along and moving at a decent clip through the forests while I stared at my hand and scowled fiercely at it. At some point I even upgraded the scowl to a full-blown pout but that didn’t help much.The skies, already dark and grey, opened up and let loose a torrent of rain that came down on us like a tipped-over bucket. Milread said some very unkind words to the sky as she pulled out a poncho from her pack and covered her arms so that her feathery arms wouldn’t get wet. The grenoil with us didn’t seem to care much about the rain.I didn’t mind it much myself, it was a warmer rain, a bit like taking a lukewarm shower, and the passage under some trees broke apart the raindrops in a neat way. I still took out my own poncho and settled it on my shoulders with the hood up and my hat atop it. In the end the rain was only a mild inconvenience, and one that came in handy when my hands started glowing. “Oh, look, look!” I said as I waved my hand at Severin.The grenoil snorted. “Ze first step and it only took you an hour. I should have asked to be paid whezer you learned ze spell or not.”The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.I laughed and stared at my glowing hand. My mana wasn’t as muddy as Severin’s. Instead it kind of flowed out like water and had an incandescence to it. “Praise the sun,” I muttered under my breath.“Guys, we have trouble,” Milread said.I snapped to attention, the glow in my hand poofing away along with a couple of points of mana as I looked around the woods and tried to spot the trouble. Fortunately, the trouble was easy to find. Unfortunately, it was all around us.Pretty glowing lights bobbed out of the gloomy woods, most concentrated before the wagon but some flitting along the forests to our sides or daring to cross the ditches alongside the road to zip behind us.“Pixies,” Milread growled. She stood up on her bench and reached for her sword. I saw Noemi do the same and Severin’s wand appeared in his hand. “Severin, you can do barrier magic?”“I can.”“Good. Get the cart some cover from their lightning attacks. In this rain they’ll be a nightmare to deal with. Noemi, rearguard. I’ll focus on the bigger groups.” Milread pulled off the hood of her poncho and made a growling noise deep in her throat as her long black-brown hair began to be plastered across her face.“You’re going to kill them?” I asked as I tracked the glowing motes.“They’re pests,” Milread said. “They won’t leave us alone and there’s no outrunning them, not in this weather. One pothole and we’ll be in a ditch when they come to pick us off. It’s best to make a stand. They’ll break before we do, don’t worry.”“We could negotiate? Try talking to them?” I asked.Milread snorted.I opened my pack and rummaged around in a hurry. I found what I was looking for and stood up, hands tight around the last full jar of honey I had. I could do something here. I could stop my new friends from killing the pixies. I knew I could do it.I looked at the determined cast to Milread’s face and the resigned look on Noemi’s. Both of them moved off the seat of the wagon, Milread patting Missy’s sides as the horse shifted at the sight of so many moving lights.That’s when I jumped forwards and landed a dozen feet ahead of the wagon, my feet splattering into a muddy puddle halfway between my new friends and the biggest group of pixies.“No! You idiot, get back here!” Milread cried. “I swear Juliette’s going to charge me double if you die.”I flung my arm behind me, gesturing her back but keeping my eyes focused on the milling pixies. “No!” I said. “Stay back. Just, please? Trust me? I know what I’m doing.” I licked my lips and whispered. “I hope.”The pixie swarm broke up into a grid wall, each pixie keeping about half a meter’s space between themselves and the next pixie until they formed a Christmas-light barrier in the air before us. Simple, but effective.I put on my most cheerful smile as I greeted them. “Hello pixies. My name is Broccoli Bunch, and I want to be your friend.” I looked around, searching for their leader until I found the biggest in the lot. She, because there was a definite feminine cast to her features, was glowing a bright green and wore an intricate dress made of knotted leaves and vines over her tiny figure.The leader pixie zoomed forwards towards me with a big scowl on her face. Her tiny arm slashed the air and a line of fire whipped out to slash into the ground a step ahead of where I was.I stopped and stared wide-eyed at the glowing green ball. “H-hey now, that was uncalled for,” I said as I raised a hand before me to ward off the spray of mud. I made sure to keep my voice soft and gentle, as if I was dealing with a dangerous animal, which I suppose I might have been. “We don’t want trouble. We don’t want to hurt any of you.”“Get back here, Broccoli!” Milread yelled. “You can’t negotiate with pests.” A glance over my shoulder revealed that she was bouncing on her feet, ready to charge over to me. She had a pair of swords out, steel flashing in the rain.The pixie’s eyes narrowed and I could see the warmth radiating off of her. Milread was really making this complicated. “I’m sorry about my friend. She’s... ah, not from around here? Anyway...” I brought my prize forwards and displayed it to all the pixies. “You guys like honey, right?” I shook the jar a little.I was suddenly the focus of a whole lot of attention but the mean green pixie shook her head.“You... don’t?” I asked. Just to be sure, I slowly popped the lid opened and stuck a finger into the warm gooey stuff, then pulled it out. A long sticky line dribbled to the ground before I put my finger in my mouth. “Mmm, you really sure?” I said, mouth all sticky.“Broccoli, what are you doing?” Milread hissed.“I’m making friends,” I said with as much cheer in my voice as I could manage. It hid the slight tremble well.This was dangerous. Probably not as dangerous as fighting the pixies off, but this put me right in the middle of the pack where I would be the first to go. I didn’t hold any delusions about surviving against thirty angry pixies flinging spells at me all at once.“So... how would you guys like to share this entire jar of honey?” I asked. “In exchange, you let us go without trouble. It’s too wet for fighting anyway.”I saw a few nods, but the lead pixie huffed and gestured at me with a burning hand. It was a violent back-and-forth motion, as if stabbing someone, then she pointed at me and then the jar.“You want to just take it?” I asked.She nodded. A cruel little smiled played out across her lips.“But then I might drop it. And then no one would get the honey.” I let go of the jar for a moment, then caught it again.There were lots of dismayed squeaks and chirps at that.“How about I give you this jar right now?” I said. “And then you can all decide on whether or not we can go?”The pixies started bickering and chirping at each other, most congregating in a big huddle as they abandoned their formation. The leader was apparently very much against the idea, but a lot of the other pixies really wanted my jar of honey.“By the way,” I said, cutting off some of the chatter. “We’re really sorry to have disturbed you. We didn’t mean to trespass into your territory, but we need to get out of the rain and the place we’re going to is down this road. If we knew it was your home I think we would have found some other path.”The pixies chirped and some danced around the others until finally a decision was made and the green pixie leader, wearing a pout that was impressive only because of how resigned it made her look, approached and signed at me a few times, then towards the jar and finally down the road.I grinned, my shoulders relaxing. “Here you go!” I said as I carefully placed the jar on the ground between us and took three long steps back. “It was a pleasure doing business with you!”A flight of pixies zoomed in and snatched it off the ground before rushing off into the forest. There were squeaks and chirps as the formation broke up to follow them.The green pixie remained for a long time, looking at me with narrowed eyes while a few of her companions milled around behind her. “Bleek,” she said to me before darting off after her friends.“You,” Milread said from right behind me, her words almost drowned out by the splash of rainfall. “Are an idiot. A brave idiot, but an idiot all the same.”I grinned at her. “I won’t deny it,” I said.
Chapter Thirty-Five — A Spark in the Night
Setting up a tent in the rain was not the most fun thing to do. Getting all the poles in place, moving the tarp around, not getting tangled in the lines, it was all the frustrating end of a frustrating day. My blankets-which I had left on the floor of the wagon-were both sodden and wet. My cleaning spell took care of some of it, but it wasn’t a drying spell; they were still wet.I stepped out of my tent, rain pinging off my hat with a constant rap-tap-tap beat and took in our tiny camp. Milread had driven the wagon all the way up to a small cliff area that was higher off the ground than the rest of the forest. It meant that we got to sleep next to a wall of stones that did a decent job of keeping off the rain.There was a bit of a divot sliced into the rock, probably by some previous travellers. It served as a good spot to set up a little fire pit with all our tents in a circle around. The wagon was pushed into the trees to one side and Missy was left to graze opposite it.Basically, the camp was tight, cramped even, but it made sense to set it up that way. Our fire wouldn’t be visible from afar and if we had to fight something we would have a wall by our backs.I wished that such considerations didn’t matter. That we could all just enjoy a nice fire and a warm meal before snuggling into a warm bed.The others were all huddled around the anemic fire in the pit. It wasn’t much, just a few tiny licks of flame from some twigs and a small block of rune-covered wood that Milread had tossed in. It was growing though, and even with the tiny bit of warmth pouring out of it, the fire was welcome.“I...” I started to say before three pairs of eyes looked towards me.The others had not been happy with me after the thing with the pixies, Milread most of all. It had worked out, in the end, and no one had died. That didn’t matter to her. It had been silly and foolish and I could have been hurt with one wrong word. She wasn’t wrong, not entirely, but I didn’t think I had been all that wrong in the way I acted either.I tried again. “I can make tea. Chamomile, if you want?”“Fire’s not hot enough yet,” Noemi said.I pulled out my tea kettle, tucked under my arm since I had left my tent. “Enchanted tea set,” I said. “Can’t do much more than boil water, but, well...” I sat down on a log that had been there long before we arrived.“Sure,” Severin said. He had a set of camping utensils next to him, one a tin mug that he handed over to me.I added the herbs I had and let it fill with rain water as we waited.“Rainwater’s not good for drinking around here,” Milread said as she tossed in a log and sent up a small plume of embers that quickly died.“Cleaning spell,” I explained.“Ah.”I sat around and waited for enough water to fill the kettle. At the rate it was raining it wouldn’t take long. “I’m sorry,” I said.Milread looked up from the fire. “You’ve said that already,” she said.“I mean it this time.”Noemi scoffed and got up. “I’ll get the food,” she said.Milread eyed me for a good long while, until I felt like squirming under her hawkish gaze. “Next time you listen. Or you at least tell me of your fool plan before trying anything. I’m responsible for the lot of you. Severin and Noemi know what they’re about, they’re past their first rank, but you’re no better than a kid. Plus Juliette would turn my head into a mantlepiece if you died under my watch.”“I’m... sorry,” I repeated. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just, I just really don’t like fighting.”“Then find a nice city with big walls and stay in it,” Milread said. “Out here you fight or you die.”It was quiet for a good long while after that. No, not quiet. There was the croak of hundreds of frogs, the occasional cry of a distant coyote, and that incessant pitter patter of rain on leaves. I brought my feet up onto the log so that I could hug my knees close to my chest for a bit of warmth.Noemi returned with a sack that she dropped next to the growing fire. She placed a pot next to her, the lid scrapping and pinging with every motion. “I’m cooking,” she said.“Got the skill?” Milread asked.“At apprentice. Got better?” Noemi asked.“Don’t even have it,” Milread said.Severin just shook his head.The grenoil woman started opening cans and adding spices to the pot. It stirred it all together then added it to the top of the fire. “Going to take a bit,” she said. “Could use a hotter fire too.”“Right,” Milread asked. She poked the fire one last time and then tossed the stick she was using onto the flames. “We need more wood if we’ll keep this going all night. And we need to set up a watch. Severin, can you do mage lights?”“For the sombrals? Of course,” the mage said. He huffed as he got to his feet. I noticed that he had tossed his boots at some point, but he didn’t seem to mind having his feet in the mud. He moved over to Milread and they both ambled off into the woods around our camp until I could just barely hear them from the crackle of branches and the shift of cloth.“So, um, Noemi, right?” I asked.“Do you really have to?” Noemi asked right back.“Have to what?”“Do this whole thing where you try to chat me up. If you were a grenoil boy I’d think you were a flirt.”I shook my head, bits of rain slipping off my hat. “No. I just want to make friends.”This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.Noemi sighed. “Yeah, that’s nice. Make friends with someone else.”I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I fumbled through a few openers, but none seemed to fit, and a direct response would just be so rude. I wondered if my Friendmaking skill could be of any use, but it felt more like a passive sort of thing. “So, why are you heading to Port Royal?” I asked.Noemi paused in the stirring of our supper. Her knuckles tightened around the spoon but she never looked away from her work. “I have family who died. I’m going to their funeral. Are you happy, now that you know?”“I’m sorry,” I said.“Good. You can apologize by keeping quiet.”I swallowed and looked away. The kettle was halfway full, leaves floating in lukewarm water. I fired an absent cleaning spell, then sighed when it made the flower buds I had left in the water poof away. It wasn’t my night.The tea was boiling and my mana was slowly dropping when the others returned. They settled down and I poured a cup for Severin then myself. The others begged off, but I left the kettle close, just in case.“This isn’t bad,” Severin said as he took a sip.“Thanks,” I said.Milread shook some water off of her hood. “We’re setting up rotations. Broccoli, you’re up first. I have some watch candles. You wake me when the wax hits the ring and the flame changes colour a little. Severin, you’re taking the late middle, Noemi, the last. We can change things around tomorrow.” She pulled a small fat candle from a pocket and, with the tip of a talon, made three marks around it before setting it to the side.“You trust her not to sleep?” Noemi asked.I stiffened.“Yeah. I’ll wake up for my watch either way,” Milread said.“Hrm,” was Noemi’s response. “Food’s ready.”We were each given a decent bowlful of some sort of stew. No actual meat, just different cuts of veggies in a sort of gravy with some spices. It was a little light on solids, but tasted good all the same. I was one of the first to finish eating. “I’ll clean up,” I said. “I’ve got cleaning at, um, disciple rank.”“Thanks,” Milread said. “I’m going to get some shut-eye. Good night.” She left her bowl on the log she had been perched on and walked off to her tent. Noemi soon did the same.“Do you think I can practice magic?” I asked Severin as I gathered all the utensils and pots.The older grenoil gave me his empty bowl, then refilled his mug with the last of the tea. “I don’t see why not. Don’t cast anyzing and you should be fine. Your light is no brighter zan the fire.”“Neat,” I said.Soon I was wishing him a good night and settling in as best I could next to the fire. I took a moment to fetch my spear, just in case. The candle Milread had left was lit with a twig and burned merrily despite the occasional raindrop that landed on it. Magic, maybe, or some clever alchemy?I focused on a hand. My right, because that was my dominant hand for day to day stuff. Magic moved into my limb until it tingled, then I pushed a little more. It was like shoving some of that dough stuff kids played with through a strainer. It didn’t flow out of the body easily, and pushing too much made my chest feel a little empty in a way that spending all of my mana didn’t.My mana didn’t dip down though, not unless I lost control of the mana and it slipped out of my grasp. So, the number in my status was the amount of mana I could control, not the amount I had in my body? No, that didn’t feel exactly right.Eventually I grew a little bored with just making my hand glow. Even shutting it off and bringing it back as quickly as I could grew tiresome, and it felt as if I was straining something inside of my hand when I did so. Like a new muscle, maybe.I formed the mana into a ball, then, when that didn’t work at all, I satisfied myself by cupping a blob of mana in my hand. Severin had said that my magic was cleaning aspect. That sounded... strange. I had grown up on stories with the usual magical elements. Fire, water, earth, air and so on. Cleaning was definitely not one of those.Maybe magic didn’t care about what I thought was usual and I would just have to deal with it.I tried to make my mana turn into fire mana. Severin had made it look easy, but it was far from it.At first I tried to make my mana look like fire, but that only made it bob around like jello. Thinking hot thoughts didn’t work, and getting angry was hard because I wasn’t an angry person. The hottest my emotions ever ran was mildly miffed. Maybe I’d manage to unlock mildly miffed aspect mana, but a mildly miffedball didn’t sound as awesome as a fireball.I looked at the fire before me, then jumped when I saw that it was dying.Getting to my hands and knees, I blew at the embers until they were nice and hot again, then added more sticks and branches to the fire until it was crackling merrily away.Maybe that was it. I had to treat my mana as a tiny fire?I spend an hour or so-occasionally looking around to the woods-trying to nurture a small fire in the palm of my hand.By the time Milread woke up I had almost seen a flicker.“You’re still awake?” Milread asked. She looked around, then scowled. “It’s still raining.”“It is, and I am,” I said. “Is it time for me to sleep now?”“Yeah, get some shut-eye. You’ll need it.”I slid into my tent and, after wasting some mana cleaning myself off, fell asleep under my moist blankets. It was a long night.
* * *
Chapter Thirty-Six — I Just Want to Set the World on Fire
The rain didn’t let up until halfway into the morning. By then we were trudging along in our wagon, bumping over potholes and generally just travelling on a long road that seemed to twist and turn all over the place.The ditches along the sides were full, a heavy current of muddy rainwater gurgling past us except where the road dipped and we had to pass through huge, but fortunately shallow, puddles.There were fewer trees as we travelled. The forests turned thin and the ground all around us became a marshy vista filled with the low drone of mosquitoes and flies and other bugs. Fortunately, Milread had a magic insect-repellent rune device that she activated to shoo off the bugs. It would have been a nightmare otherwise.I focused on my hand again, first came the pushing of mana out of the... I was going to call them mana pores because that’s what they felt like, then the concentrating of my mana into a flat shape on the surface of my palm, then I thought fiery thoughts and let my mana sort of just... burn.“You’re getting better,” Severin said as he eyed the fuzzy mana in my hand. “Zat’s not perfect fire aspect mana, but it might be close enough.”“Really?” I asked. The lapse in concentration made my mana construct, if it could be called that, fizzle out and take a few points of mana with it. “I’ve been practicing very hard.”“Yes. It’s almost enough to make up for your deficiency.”“Hey!” I said. “I’m not that bad, am I?” I asked.Severin made a wiggly motion with his hand. “You’re no prodigy. Perhaps had you started wiz holy or light spells you would be better. And you’re not exactly in a school environment. Zat might mitigate some of your slowness to learn.”I resisted the urge to pout. “I’m trying my best,” I said. And I really was. There wasn’t anything else to do while bumping along in the back of the wagon. I could have practiced my other skills but most of those weren’t easy to do. Talking had... not been fruitful. Noemi still refused to open up and Milread had remained coolly professional.I was beginning to think that people in this world were just not as friendly as people back home. Maybe they didn’t trust as easily, maybe there was some prejudice at play that I wasn’t aware of.Did the ‘why’ matter?If it was hard to make friends then I just had to work harder at it, that was all.Severin pulled out a small notebook from his pack, opened it to a fresh page, then fished out a strange quill with a bulb near its middle filled with ink. He scratched out a quick design then turned it around to show me. “Zis is ze side profile of a fireball spell. Side profiles are deceptively simple and useless for complex spells, but for somezing as simple as fireball it will do.”The drawing looked like a ball with a long tail behind it, like a comet, maybe. “That does look fireball-ish,” I said.“Most spells won’t look like zeir final product at ze creation stage. But fireball is, as I said, simple. It’s made of two parts. One, if you squint. Ze main payload and ze propellant. Have you ever seen a firework?”“Yes, a few times,” I said. Some in person and I had seen plenty on TV and online.“Do you know how zey work?” he asked next.“Um.” I tried to imagine what a firework’s internals looked like. “There’s a fuse, then some powder that burns through a... nozzle? And then after it takes off it eventually explodes? I guess there might be a fuse inside too?”Severin made a huffing noise. “Zat’s mostly correct, yes. Fireball is similar. Only ze entire zing in a mana construct. Let me show you.”“Hey hey, what did I say about no fire on my wagon?” Milread said.Severin scoffed. “I am no fool. She only needs to see, zere is no need to use fire-mana for it.” He reached a hand out and held it palm up between us. Mana rushed out of his hand and formed into a perfect ball, then a coil came out of that and formed a long, spiraling cone. “Zis is what a fireball looks like. Once formed, you will ze mana at the base to react and it goes off.”The wizard moved his hand over the edge of the wagon and fired off his spell. The mana, now looking like a ball of muddy... stuff, shot off into the marshes and splattered against a tree with a dull thump.“Cool!” I said. I wondered if that could be done with cleaning magic? Something to try next time I ran into some ghosties!“A ball of mana-constructed mud like zat won’t do much to harm an enemy. But many creatures are weak to fire. I suggest trying to form ze spell with your natural mana first. A ball of cleaning mana won’t do anyzing bad to anyone.”“Awesome!” I said as I jumped to my feet, then windmilled my arms around to stay upright. “I’m going to practice as I walk, I can’t stand being on my bum any longer.”The others didn’t seem to mind as I hopped off the side of the wagon and landed on the ground with barely a bend in my knees, the kind of acrobatics that would have hurt just a week ago. I hopped along next to the wagon, jumping from clear spot to clear spot along the road with only the occasional splash of mud to accompany my jumps. My jumping skill was nearly at Rank B.JumpingRank C — 77%Jumping wasn’t as practical in my day-to-day as Cleaning was, but it did give me the ability to run away from big scary monsters that Cleaning just didn’t. My other class skill, Gardening, wasn’t directly useful in combat at all. Though it was close to its own rank up too.If I had a couple of days to just practice all of my skills I was sure I could get them all to top rank. Actually, maybe I could get the others to help a little? Makeshift Weapons Proficiency might go up with some sparring and I could definitely use some help there. Insight... wasn't going to rank up anytime soon, so I could just let that rank up organically.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.Between hops I toyed with my magic, forming my mana into a ball, then trying to give it a tail of sorts, but all I really succeeded in doing was making the blob distend into a longer, less shapely blob.Magic was tricky and hard. Which, I suppose, was only fair. It was magic, after all.We started moving uphill, which meant less water in the ditches and the puddles in the road were easier to avoid. Not that I did. Puddles were for jumping in, after all.I stopped advancing when I reached the top of the hill. I felt my mouth opening wide in a big ‘o’ of surprise before a huge grin took over.Our destination was right ahead of us. Still a little ways away, of course, but close enough that if I squinted I could make out the shapes of the bigger towers and the huge, multi-levelled walls encircling the city.Port Royal was huge, with towers all along one side and a large dock on the other where ships were hanging in the air, their big balloons bobbing just enough that I could see them moving from where I was.The path to the sky port was cut into the mountainside, a series of switchbacks that lead off from a small town at the very base of the mountain the port was built into.“We can see the Port!” I called back to the others.Milread gave me a knowing smile and even Noemi looked up from staring at the road to take in the city behind me.“Still half a day’s travel,” Milread said. That dampened my mood a little and I turned to inspect the road we would have to take to get there.I couldn’t see all of it, of course. Even if the forest was a bit thinner, there were still thousands of trees around. The road seemed to zig and zag around a lot, avoiding the larger untamed areas that looked a little too swampy for my taste.The only settlement I could see was the town at the base of the mountain, but I did spot a road leading off to the east and into the distant woods that way. I was practically shaking in my shoes when I jumped back onto the wagon. “I can’t wait to see what the city is like. And airships! Airships are the best.”Milread snorted. “Sure. Won’t argue with that. The best ones are made in Farseeing, of course.”“Farseeing?” I asked.“Ze harpy capital,” Severin answered. “Along the unimaginatively named Harpy Mountains. Port Royal is at the base of that mountain range, though it is Deepmarsh territory, not Nesting.”“Oh, neat,” I said. A world map was going to be one of my first purchases because I was getting lost just talking to them. “What’s Port Royal like?”“Bit messy,” Milread said. “Lots of folks from plenty of places. Most of the expensive goods from Deepmarsh make it to the port eventually, then they’re shipped elsewhere. And the opposite is also true, you have stuff from all over the world passing through Port Royal. Lots of strange folk with strange customs. Keep your hands to yourself and stick to the cleaner parts of the city and you’ll be fine.”“I can’t wait! Can you tell me anything about the Exploration Guild? I was thinking of joining them, but that’s mostly on a whim.”Milread hummed. “Mostly good folk. You could do well for yourself and they might give you some training on how not to get yourself killed. Risky work, but the pay can be great. The guild works across a couple of nations, so if you like traveling they might do good by you. I work for the Courier’s Union, we use the Exploration Guild to chart out new paths sometimes.”“Zere are some problems wiz any guild. Not just the fees and hierarchies. Ze Exploration Guild is relatively small for all zat it is spread out. The Guards Guild is bigger and safer, the Delvers more cut-throat but you’ll make more coins. The Monster Slayers will grant you access to plenty of training but you will probably die young as most of zeir members do.”“I would like to avoid dying if at all possible,” I said. ”Maybe I’ll give the Exploration Guild a try, then see how I feel after that. I do like the idea of seeing the world and just being sort of... free. Exploration Guild people work in parties right? Like a group of friends?”“That they do, and I wish you the best,” Milread said. She pointed ahead of us and towards a bit of a bend in the road. “We’re stopping there for a minute. Missy needs a breather and I need lunch. Noemi, you good to cook again?”“If you have ingredients I can use,” she said.“I’ve got some cans, some hardtack, a couple of other things,” I interjected. “I could forage a bit, if you want. I’ve got a skill for it, though it's kind of low ranked.”“Huh,” Milread said. “Alright. Maybe we’ll take a longer break then, get a good meal in and go for longer later. I want to arrive at the Port before nightfall. If we move too fast we might end up camping within running distance of the town.”“Wouldn’t it make sense to push on, zen?” Severin asked.Milread snorted. “That’s what everyone says. Then you end up pushing through the forest at night and go off the road or get ambushed. Trust me, one extra night under the stars won’t hurt anyone, but I’ll be making that choice later. For now, I’ll set up some traps and maybe catch us some meat. Broccoli, get to foraging. Noemi, tend the fire and get cooking. Severin, can you keep watch and care for Missy for a bit?”We rolled into a small camping spot next to the road, and just like that our group broke up.
Chapter Thirty-Seven — Let me Level With You
I hummed as I picked berries as quickly as I could, plucking them off the branches and placing them on a cloth I had spread out on the mossy ground. When I had collected a whole bunch I knotted up the cloth into a sort of baggy and tied a neat bow at the top.CloudberriesThese berries grow on tough bushes that are quite common across most marshy areas and bogs. They are a delicacy in certain northern territories. Hard to cultivate in an artificial environment. They require a few specific temperature ranges and a precise acidity level in the ground to grow. The bushes will often create foggy clouds around them that might disguise their presence.The berries are edible by most humanoids and are quite tasty if fresh. They don’t keep for long. The berry’s juice has a very weak lightening effect that makes the eater weigh less. This can be heightened with a few alchemical processes. It’s also one of the main ingredients in cloud tinctures and smokescreen vials.The only thing better than yummy berries were magic yummy berries.I hopped on the spot a few times but didn’t feel any lighter. Maybe it took some time for the magic to settle in? Whatever. I was happy for the snack already.Bending down, I picked up my baggy of berries, then gave the bush a pat. “Thank you,” I said.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Gardening skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank“Oh, sweet!” I said.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 6!Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointYou have unlocked: One Class Skill Slot... Eh?I ran back to camp to find everyone sitting around the campfire, all of them looking to be in a good mood. Milread was skinning a rabbit while Noemi stirred a pot full of something that smelled scrumptious.“Guys!” I said as I ran over, then paused to pant and catch my breath. “Guys, I levelled up!”The three of them paused, then Severin nodded. “Congratulations.”“No,” I said. “I mean, I just levelled up, like that. I didn’t kill anything.”“That’s great?” Milread said. She sounded a bit confused. Which was good because I was very confused.“I just got a rank up in my gardening skill, for picking some berries. Um, I found some cloudberries, by the way. And then I got a level up. How?”Severin and Milread looked at each other while Noemi kept stirring the pot. “That’s how levels work,” Milread said.“But every level I got so far was from combat with stuff,” I said.She perked one eyebrow at that. “That’s unusual for a non-combat class. Most of the time you’ll level up from doing things in line with your class. I’m a Sword Sweeper. I get levels from fighting and practicing with a sword. But if I were a Baker I’d get levels from baking.”Severin shook his head. “You could get levels from baking wiz your current class as well. It would just take an order of magnitude more work zen usual. You said you received a rank up, Broccoli?” he asked.“With Gardening, yeah,” I said.“Well, zere you go. Zat pushed you past ze experience you needed to level. Didn’t anyone teach you zis before?”“No,” I said. “I thought that I would need to fight for every level.” I found a spot to sit down next to the fire and placed the berries close to Noemi. Then I handed her a little bundle of fresh parsley that I had gathered earlier. My book didn’t have much on it other than its use as a cooking spice, which was enough for me.Noemi hummed as she sniffed the herbs then tossed a sprig or two into the stew. The berry bag she opened and then re-tied. I supposed that berries didn’t fit in with the current lunch.I shook my head and refocused. The surprise at levelling had robbed me of the chance to bask in the glow of levelling up. The pleasant tingles were still coursing through me, but they were faint now.So, I could level up from things outside of combat. Did that mean that I could just sit back, find some cleaning work and maybe tend to a small garden and just live a happy, quiet life? I did want that. A nice little house with a pretty garden full of flowers. Two kids and a loving husband and a big dog and a couple of cats.That had been my dream once. But now, in this world, my sights had changed a little. The thought didn’t appeal as much as it had just a few weeks ago.Now I wanted... I didn’t know. Not yet.Well, I did want an airship.A big one.With a garden on it. And a house. And a little park area for my dog and my cat and my two kids. My husband and I could both rock tricorns.Friends first, new dreams second.Lunch passed in no time at all. Noemi gave us all a big portion of meaty stew and some hardtack that became a lot more palatable once dipped in the hot greasy juices, and then Milread passed around a skin with what I thought was juice at first but discovered, with much sputtering, was actually strong wine.And then we were off again, the wagon loaded back up and bumping off while everyone took turns nibbling at a quickly dwindling supply of cloudberries.“These are worth a fortune back home,” Milread said as she stuffed a handful of berries into her mouth. “There’s this whole thing about being as thin and light as you can be. I love my sister harpies, but by the world can some of them ever be vain.”“Are non-harpies allowed in harpy lands?” I asked. It was a bit off-topic, but I was really curious. If the best airships were harpy-made (according to Milread the harpy, there might be some bias there, just like how I believed that the best maple syrup was from home), then it made sense to learn all about them as soon as I could.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.“Of course,” Milread said. “Unless you’re a Sylph. Not that there are any laws against being a twinkly little faerie, it’s just, well, they don’t get the warmest welcome.”I looked at Severin, the question obvious in my eyes. He sighed. “Ze Sylphs and ze Harpies have been at each ozer’s throats for two generations now. Zey compete over land and territory and dungeons. It’s quite a spectacle.”“What about Deepmarsh, do they have enemies?” I asked.“The Trenten people,” Severin said with a growing scowl. “Zey pushed into our territory some time ago before zey were repelled. Ze tensions between us and zem have been strong ever since.”“Oh no,” I said. I didn’t want to get caught up in some big war. “I hope that things get mended.”Severin snorted. “Don’t concern yourself over it. Your time would be better spent practicing your magic.”“That’s not a bad idea,” I said. “I have an open skill slot now. I could get something magic related to fill it!”I got back to forming magical blobs of cleaning magic in my hand then watching them deform and break apart when my control slipped. It was a bit of a pain in the butt, but I figured I was going to get the hang of it one day.Time moved on, seconds counted by the steady clip-clop of Missy’s hooves across the road. We crossed a couple of forks in the path and then we rode past first a hut, then a couple of little cottages, and finally little farmsteads along the sides of the roads.There were big areas cleared of trees and with planks running over the ground where rice was growing and some spots that looked drier with barley stalks waving in the wind. We even crossed a few fenced off areas with big cows and bulls. Then an entire field filled with cockroaches the size of greyhounds (the dogs) and beetles the size of greyhounds (the buses).There were big muddy pillars with a few grenoil in overalls and strawhats walking around them with shovels. They were patting the sides of the pillars while another group were tapping a spigot into the side of one of the muddy towers.A termite farm.“Oh, eww,” I said before snapping my attention back to working on my magic. If I didn’t think about where the food I was going to eat came from then it couldn’t hurt me.When I next looked up, it was to see that the sky was starting to turn orange. There were plenty of lights on the horizon though, both from Port Royal above and from a tiny village that was coming up ahead.“Bottom’s Rest,” Milread said, probably for my benefit since I was the only one that had never been to Port Royal before. “That’s where we’re stopping for the night. If you guys want to split, this is the place. I’m only heading up the mountain in the morning. Missy needs a rest before trying that climb.”“Zen I think it’s where we’ll part ways,” Severin said. “It was an enjoyable ride.”“Hmm,” Noemi said.I swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, I guess it was. A tiny adventure. Um, Severin, I never did cast fireball, but you taught me a bunch, do you... well.”“Keep your silver,” Severin said. “You’ll need it more zan I will, I have no doubt.”“Thank you!” I said. “If we ever meet again, I’ll be sure to show you how good I’ve become at magic, alright?”He croaked in what I thought was delight. “We shall see.”Missy pulled the wagon up to the large wooden gates of the little village and got in line behind a few farmers and a single fancier carriage. Each vehicle was inspected in turn, but it was a quick affair, more of a formality than anything.Milread pulled out some documents that showed that she was a courier and the guards, after looking at it for a while, let us pass without trouble.Bottoms Rest was a small village, maybe twice the size of Threewells but with a lot more shops and a bigger inn. That’s where Milread led the wagon with Noemi’s help and stopped before the stone building. “This is it,” the harpy said.I hesitated a little before jumping off the wagon and looking around. The town was fairly quiet, though there was a murmur of conversation from within the inn. It made sense, what with the sun just about to set.I spun around when Milread tapped me on the shoulder. “You be safe, alright, kid?” she asked.Smiling, I stepped up to the taller harpy woman and gave her a quick hug. “Thanks for the ride,” I said.She squawked in protest and shoved me off with a ruffle of feathers. “None of that, brat. I’m not the hugging sort. Go try with Severin. We’ll see us when our paths next cross, world willing.”I smiled to keep the melancholy away and found Severin climbing out the back of the wagon. He was in the perfect position to hug as he came down. “Bye Severin,” I said. “You were a great teacher.”To my surprise he returned the hug with a good pat on the back. “Of course I was. Anyone would be a good teacher to someone so poorly educated as you.” He laughed. “If you’re heading up, zen you’ll want to follow me a little more. I’m taking ze carts up.”“Oh,” I said. I didn't know that there were carts leading to the top, but it made sense.Then it was time to say bye to Noemi.“Hey,” I said. “Um. I’m sorry if I came on a little strong. I just wanted to be friends. But I’m glad we got to meet anyway.”“Sometimes people don’t want friends,” she said.“Isn’t that when you need a friend the most?” I asked. I gave her a quick hug, then backed away. “I hope we meet again someday,” I said.Then it was time to be off. I had an entire city to explore!
* * *
Chapter Thirty-Eight — Port Royal
I had two choices on how to reach Port Royal. Three, really. I could walk all the way up the switchback path, I could pay three copper to ride in a carriage pulled by a team of oxen with other passengers and some cargo, or I could pay a silver, the equivalent of half a day’s work for a normal person, to ride in a cable car that travelled up some towers and all the way up to the city proper.I pressed my face against the glass off the cable car to take in as much of Port Royal as I could while I approached. The city was built on three large plateaus, each one ending at a sheer cliff face with a small wall all around it.The city itself was a sea of red roofs sprinkled with the occasional bronze or blue or green. Off to the East were a series of five big towers that stuck out of the mountain side and cast long shadows across the port. And, barely visible on the west side, was the actual port. It overlooked a large chasm, bridges spanning the gap with ropes dangling down to the airships docked below.That was going to be the third place I would visit. First Juliette’s husband’s inn, then the Exploration Guild’s headquarters, then the airship docks so that I could gawk at all the pretty flying ships.The cable car stopped with a clunk and the young grenoil manning the controls opened the door and doffed his big floppy hat. “We’ve arrived, ladies and gents,” he said.I was one of the first off, backpack bouncing behind me as I landed on the cable car’s platform. We had stopped above a little staging area next to the main gates. There looked to be places where lines of people would wait during the day to be let into the city, but-late as it was getting-those were all empty and only a few guards stood around attentively waiting for the next person to climb the hill.“Thanks for the ride!” I called over my shoulder as I skipped over to the huge gates.“Hello ma’am,” the nearest guard said. “First time in Port Royal?”“It is!” I said.He nodded his helmeted head. “Welcome to Port Royal. I’m going to Inspect you and your items, after which, if you’re not carrying anything suspect, you’ll be allowed to enter. Do you understand?”“I do,” I said.His eyes glowed in the depths of his helmet and they twitched to my backpack, then up and down my body. I felt like I had just been x-rayed or something and had to resist the urge to cross my arms over my chest.“You’re good to go. Welcome to Port Royal.”Smiling, I passed first the guards, then the gates, before coming to a stop.The area right after the entrance was an open plaza. A little fountain standing in the middle of a square lined with shops and homes, not one of them less than two stories tall. Lanterns hung on poles alongside the streets, giving everything a cheery golden glow.People of all sorts walked around or chatted. Some were packing up stalls with blue cloth roofs while others sat next to the fountain and enjoyed the evening air. Most, I noticed right away, were grenoil, but there were a few harpies and some sylphs and even a couple of humans.I grinned as I started walking deeper into the city. That’s when the scent hit me. Or rather, the stench. There had to be an open sewer somewhere because the place smelled like poop.It still wasn't as bad as a rotting Dunwich abomination, though.Someone laughed from behind me and I turned to see a guard that was a good foot shorter than me standing next to one by the gates. “Always fun to see country folk take in the Port Royal air,” he said.“Does it always smell so... like this?” I asked.He nodded. “It’s the steam vents, mostly. Smells worse in the Scumway, not that you look the sort to go venturing down there. I’m told it’s the sulphur in the ground or some such.”“Right,” I said. “Um, I need to get to the inn by the east gate. Do you know where that is?”“East gate? That’s to the East.” He pointed to his right and down one of the roads. “That way, then you take a right onto Tripping Lane and up to Central. That cuts through the city West to East. Can’t miss the gate from there.”“That way, Tripping Lane, Central. Got it!” I said. “Why’s it called Tripping Lane?”The guard shrugged. “Heard the earth mage who made the road was off his rocker on Mattergrove wine. The entire road was bumpy and every step on the side paths was different to the next. Some noble tripped and broke his nose. They’ve fixed it after that, no worries.”“Okay, neat! Thank you guard person!” I waved over my shoulder as I started towards the inn. The roads were very tight, much more so than anything back home. It was obvious that they hadn’t planned around cars and the like. But I could see lines criss crossing above and even the occasional cable car whizzing by so maybe they didn’t need to worry about that.The cable cars weren’t the only unexpected thing. There were pipes all over. Some gurgling with water, others smoking as hot steam rattled through them. The few people out and about who had stopped to chat had to scream over the constant clanking of pipes and the occasional shrill whistle.The houses, and I only guessed that because plenty of them had clothes out to hang and candlelight flickering within, were all pressed together with hardly any room between them, it made navigating the steep road like walking through a narrow chasm.I did enjoy the architecture though. The homes all had stone walls on their first floors and everything above that was covered in wooden planks. The roofs had shiny red tiles that gleamed in the orange light of the evening and more than one home was freshly painted in blues and yellows and turquoise.I almost missed Tripping Lane because of how my head was on a swivel to take in as much as I could. The road was, disappointingly, pretty normal, though there were a few pubs with some rowdy customers at both ends.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.Central was much wider than any of the other roads I’d been on, with a patch of greenery down the middle and enough space that the people walking about had plenty of room around them. I shifted to the middle of the road, looked both ways, then started heading eastward and towards a large gate some hundred meters away. All the buildings along the street were either shops with big windows showing off their goods or very pretty homes with little fences and tiny gardens out front.A low rumble from above had me craning my neck up and then gasping as an airship flew past so close that I could make out the individual planks of its hull. Brackish, blue-grey smoke poured out of a pair of engines in two nacelles at its sides as the ship veered around in the air and aimed towards the docks.“This place is awesome,” I muttered.The East Gate was manned, just like the front gate, and I could see that the homes and businesses on its other side were far nicer than those I had passed so far, with actual lots around them and lamps that weren’t quite so far apart.“Hello ma’am,” one of the guards at the gate said. “Do you have business on the East side?”“I think so,” I said. “I’m looking for an inn. The owner is called Julien. I have a letter for him.”“Courier's guild?” he asked.I shook my head. “Exploration, but not yet, I’m just delivering the letter for a friend.”He looked me up and down, then fixated on Orange who had poked her head out of my bandoleer to look around.“Right, go on in,” he said. “Third building to your right, you can’t miss it.”“Thank you!” I said as I shot past him and skipped along the road until I came to the front of a building that couldn’t be anything but an inn. It had a huge front, with three stories topped by a steep bronze-coloured roof with a couple of chimneys poking out the top. A glance through the checkered windows revealed a bunch of people sitting at round tables and finishing up their evening meals.A sign hung over the door. Rock Inn and Roll Inn.I walked in with a snort at the name only to be assaulted by a barrage of fresh scents. I had forgotten how bad Port Royal smelled over the course of my short walk. The Inn, in complete contrast to it, smelled heavenly. There had to be some magic keeping the nasty smells away.“May I help you?” a young grenoil girl asked as she watched me just breathe in through my nose to commit the smells to memory.I shook myself to refocus and fired a small burst of cleaning magic at my clothes. I wanted them to smell like the inn, not the sewers outside. “Yes, yes you can!” I said. “I’m looking for Julien.”“Julien? He’s at ze counter,” she said as she half-turned to point.There were two grenoil behind the bar, one was far too young, and too female, to be Juliette’s husband. The other was a big fat frog, the biggest I had ever seen, with a blindingly white apron around his tummy that was straining under his girth and a smile so huge it could have swallowed me whole.He was talking to a customer that looked to be on his way out, picking a hat off of a rack built into the end of the bar to hand it over to the client who left with a wave over his shoulder.I stepped aside to let the man pass, then walked over to the bar. “Hello, sir,” I said as I moved over to the bar. “May I sit?”He blinked big froggy eyes at me and gestured. “Sit away! Zere’s always a free seat at my bar!”I plopped myself down, removed my hat, and with a deft flick, completely missed the hat rack on the corner and sent my hat flying down a hall that, I suspect, led to the washrooms.“Oh no!”Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Cute!I froze.No. No! Cute wasn’t a skill, and I wasn’t cute. I was attractive and pretty but not cute.“Are you okay lass?” Julien asked.“I-I ah, ah, I... shucks,” I said. I could freak out about it later. Instead, I pulled out Julien’s letter and handed it over to him. “This is for you.”He looked at the letter, then his eyes widened and his smile grew tenfold as he saw the seal atop it. “From my dearest Juliette!”“Yeah, she, she wanted me to deliver that to you,” I said. I absently pulled a silver coin from one of the pouches of my bandoleer and set it on the counter. “If you have a moment, I’d like a meal too. I need to... to drown my sorrows in delicious food.”“Ah, keep your coin girl. Juliette would have my head if I treated someone who did a favour for her wrong,” he said before popping the seal and unfolding the letter. He moved back and cackled as he read, a sound that had a few of his staff shivering in what I suspected was horror. “She called me an oaf!” he said with glee.My eyes met those of the barmaid and she shook her head. “I’ll get you some supper,” she said.I nodded and then let my head thunk onto the counter. Cute. Cute. I wanted Fireball. Or... or literally anything else.Ding! Two of your current skills are eligible for Merging: Cute, Friendmaking.“Merging?” I asked Mister Menu, a kernel of hope flickering to life in my chest.Merging skills will reset merged skill to the lowest rank. All skill and general points will be refunded. You may pick which slot the new skill will occupy as long as there is an available slot and the new skill matches class requirements.That sounded... brilliant! I liked Friendmaking, it had potential, but Cute didn’t, and it would mean maybe freeing up another skill slot for something better down the line!There was literally no way for this to go wrong!Do you wish to Merge Cute and Friendmaking to unlock the Seduction skill?
* * *
Chapter Thirty-Nine — Guild Me Up, Buttercup
I glared at Mister Menu.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cute skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!“Meanie,” I said as I slid out of the bed and dismissed the prompt with a wave. Sure, I was going to accept the free rank, because duh, but it wasn’t a nice thing to see right after waking up. It wasn’t even like I had done anything all night.Did I snore?My eyes narrowed.Did I snore cutely?It couldn’t be. I slept just like any other girl.After rubbing my eyes and making sure that Orange was okay after a night spent cuddled up in my arms, I wiped my lips clean of any drool, then unknotted my blouse which had ridden up as I tossed and turned.Then I got up, picked my underthings off the floor, and got ready for the day.The free room that Juliette had promised turned out to be quite a bit nicer than the one I had over in Rockstack. It had a single bed tucked up against the far wall, with a dresser and a little desk for my stuff, as well as a window that opened up onto a small courtyard at the back of the inn. The Rock Inn and Roll Inn was shaped sort of like a C, with two large bar areas that were on opposite streets connected through an addition that looked newer than the rest of the building.Apparently it had once been two inns. The Rock Inn and the Roll Inn, but after years of competing for the same customers, Julien and Juliette had fallen in love and they combined their inns into one big establishment.Once I was all kitted out and ready to go, I picked up Orange (which meant I was now all kittened out, haha!), placed her in her place of pride on my shoulder, adjusted my awesome hat and stepped out of my room.Julien was up and about already, serving breakfast to the few people already in the room with a jovial smile. “Ah, Broccoli! How did you rest?”“Really well,” I said. “Your beds are super comfy. Is there a really rare innkeeper skill that makes your inn so cozy?”“Oh-hoh! Zat’s a trade secret,” he said with a tap to the side of his head. “Breakfast?”“I’d love some!” I said as I pulled up a stool at the counter and dropped my backpack to my side. “How much would it cost to rent the same room again tonight?”“One sil a night,” he said. “It comes wiz breakfast and a smile. For a little more you can get two smiles.”I laughed as he returned from the kitchen with a plate covered in eggs and sausage and some freshly baked bread. “Thanks. I think I’ll take you on that offer. Though I thought that one silver a night was for a place like Rockstack.”“Ah, it is more zan what you would pay in ze West end of Port Royal. And zat’s more zen a room near ze docks, zough a pretty young zing like you shouldn’t go anywhere near zere,” Julien explained.“Huh. Well, I don’t mind your price, especially not if the food is this good.” I stuck my fork in a sausage and took a big bite of it.“Ah, no wonder Juliette took a shine to you,” he said with a hand placed over his chest. “So, what adventure awaits you today?”“I need to find the Exploration Guild and then I’m going to see about joining them,” I said. “After that... I guess I’ll head over to the docks. I want to look at the airships.”“Ze guild is easy enough to find,” he said. “The docks... it would be best to avoid zose unless you have business zere. If it’s the ships you want to see, zen zere is a viewing platform just some streets down. A few cop and you’ll have a perfect view of any ship coming in, and wiz none of the unpleasantness of ze docks.” He slid a blue card with a lanyard across the counter. “Zat’s for you, when you want to come back.”“That sounds like a plan!” I said as I took the card and watched Julien move off to greet some other customers.The card was a pass allowing one access across the East gate. I guessed that they tried to limit the number of people passing by at any given time.Breakfast done, I rushed back to my room and deposited most of my stuff. I wouldn’t need hardtack and such for a journey across the city. At least, I hoped! My spear was also a bit much, though I had seen plenty of people armed with all sorts of things. I decided that my belt knife and my spade hanging over my back would have to do. That and Orange of course!I tucked a single gold in my bandoleer and two dozen silver and copper pieces, in case I caught sight of something neat to buy. Then I was off.The East side looked a bit different in the full light of early morning. There were more people moving about and snooping through the windows along the central avenue and plenty more carts being pulled by horses and donkeys and sometimes giant toads. There was even a trolley with a bell that jingled as it stopped every few hundred meters to pick people up and drop them off.Grinning, I moved over to the East gate. It was easy to forget that the city smelled a lot like poop when it was otherwise such a vibrant and colourful place. People were laughing and talking, some argued over the things written in the newspapers being hawked by young grenoil boys on street corners.It felt like a scene out of a movie set in Victorian England, but also completely wrong.Mages with big staves appeared in the middle of the street with pops, entire teams of adventurers with them, and the guards patrolling in twos wore full plate armour and carried long halberds.I moved over to one pair that had paused to let a trolley pass. “Excuse me,” I said.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.They looked over to me, two pairs of froggy eyes hidden under thick metal helmets.An attentive grenoil City Guard, level ??.“Yes, ma’am?” One of them asked. I assumed he was the senior of the two because he had a colourful tassel over his shoulder. “Can we help you?”“Maybe. I’m looking for the Exploration Guild headquarters,” I said.“Then shouldn’t you explore for it?” the younger of the two asked. It earned him a smack against the chestplate.The older guard pointed northwards. “Just down Guild Row, ma’am. It’s the building with the large compass rose before it. You can’t miss it.”“Thank you!” I said with a wave as I ran off in the direction they pointed. I slowed down a little bit later, because if I was running then I would miss all the sights and I didn’t want that.Guild Row was an entire street that climbed up at a fairly steep angle. There were strange and colourful buildings on both sides, from the rather plain but homey Culinary Association building, to the Courier’s Union that had a strange tower sticking out the top with a bunch of panels on pulleys that were moving this way and that, to the Mages Guild building that had a collection of floating pillars before it.I found the Exploration Guild headquarters near the middle of Guild Row. It was a simple but stately building with a huge compass rose built into the front with a stylized bandoleer running across it and the name of the guild beneath it.“Cool,” I said as I moved towards the large double doors at the front. They opened just as I was reaching for them and I had to take a step back to avoid running into a pale skinned and paler-feathered harpy girl. She looked down at me, then scoffed.“Get out of my way, nobody,” she growled.“Hey,” I said as I did the exact opposite of getting out of her way and stood my ground with hands on hips. “I’m not a nobody.”The harpy girl snorted. “You look like an overstuffed pillow in that getup,” she said before shouldering her way past me and stomping down the street.“Rude,” I muttered before looking down at my gambeson. It was rather... pillow-coloured. And fluffy-looking. But if I looked fluffy that just meant that I also looked more huggable. And while I wouldn’t hug just anyone, it did mean that I looked more like friend material. I hoped.Shaking off the thoughts about my lame equipment, I stepped into the lobby of the Exploration Guild and paused to take it all in.It looked like a museum. There were shiny weapons behind glass displays and huge, old maps hanging off the walls next to tapestries and banners that looked positively ancient. Jars and urns sat atop pedestals with little plaques telling of their stories and in one back corner was an entire scale model of something with a bunch of rooms connected to each other in a big spiral, each one with a cut-through on the side to reveal the interior. It took a moment to realize that it was a model of a dungeon in three dimensions.I stopped gawking after a bit, made a note to come back and read every little plaque, and moved to the far end of the entrance hall where a waist-high desk hid a Grenoil woman. “Hello,” I said as I approached.She looked up from what looked like a newspaper and smiled at me. “Hello miss. How may the Exploration Guild help you today?”“I was curious about joining, actually,” I said.“Oh, I see. One moment, I’ll go verify if anyone can assist you with that,” she said.“No need.”We both turned and watched as a man rounded the corner at the end of the hall and strode toward me. He was a human, tall and dressed as I imagined a nobleman would, with a big fluffy ascot and a suit jacket that clung tightly to his chest.He smiled at me. “I couldn’t help but overhear, young miss. You hope to join our guild?”“I think I do,” I said. “I have a bunch of questions still. Oh, but I do have this!” I reached into one of the bigger pockets of my bandoleer and pulled out the letter Leonard had given me all of a few days ago.The man took it and stared at the seal. “Unbroken. From one of our more senior members. Leonard Chand’nuit?” he asked.“That’s him, yeah,” I said. “We met in the Darkwoods.”“Well well,” he said with a growing smile. “Would you mind following me to my office? I think you might be just what I need.” He looked over to the secretary. “Oh, and could I have a copy of the registration forms, please?”“Of course, Mister Rainnewt,” the secretary said before handing over a couple of sheets of parchment.I followed mister Rainnewt (and wasn’t that a neat name) over to a large and lavish office not too far from the entrance. He had maps on the walls and a few smaller displays with strange knick-knacks, but he gestured me to a chair before his desk before I could really start poking at things.“So, miss...”“I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch!” I said.“Well, Miss Bunch, I’m Tarragon Rainnewt, one of the senior members of the Port Royal branch of the Exploration Guild,” he said while sitting down across from me. He crossed all his fingers together above the forms he had requested. “Do you mind if I read the letter? It’ll take but a moment.”“Go ahead,” I said.While he read, I resisted the urge to kick out my legs while I slowly sank deeper and deeper into the plush chair.“Well well,” he said as he set Leonard’s letter aside. His smile was dazzling. “You’re an interesting one, aren’t you? I think I might have an interesting offer in return, Miss Bunch, if you’re keen to listen to it.”
Chapter Forty — An Offer
Mister Rainnewt shifted some papers around on his desk. “I think it would behoove me to explain the situation. Most who come here and ask to become members of the Exploration Guild come from places like the Scumways. They have no experience out in the field, have no referrals, and are generally not equipped with a class suitable to work as members of our guild. From what I’ve read you are... unfamiliar with our way of doing things?”“Pretty much,” I said. “I like exploring, and I have some skills related to that, but Leonard and Emeric’s party were my first time meeting members of the guild.”Tarragon nodded. “I see. The Exploration Guild holds a strange place in the world. You’ll find that we, more than any other guild, have members of a certain... prestige. The adventurous and wild who occasionally have too much time on their hands and who want a river named after them or some such. These members make up a sizable portion of our guild. After these we have those who do genuinely love exploration and architecture and archeology, who want to discover ancient secrets and unearth hidden ruins. Then we have those who are merely in it for the gold and the lower risk. We lose far fewer members than most guilds whose activities are beyond the walls of a city.”He made a dismissive gesture in the air.“But enough of that. The point I’m trying to get to is that we don’t just let anyone join. When we get new members we usually give them a few rapid training sessions with some more veteran members before sending them off on a few simple, low-risk missions. Right now, I’m in a bit of trouble.”I took a moment to digest everything he said, then tilted my head to the side. “Trouble? How so?”“I have an odd number of applicants. With few exceptions, new applicants are sent out in pairs. Usually a noble and a talented new recruit. I happen to have a new noble member but no talented recruits to go with her.”“I... see,” I said. “Do you get that many noble members?”He nodded, an easy smile still in place. “A full third of our membership is made up of people with good blood. Which is why your appearance today is such a boon. Telling a new member that their first exploratory mission will be delayed would be a hassle.”I raised a hand, one finger up in a ‘one moment’ sort of gesture and Tarragon made a ‘go ahead’ gesture in response.The Exploration Guild, as he had explained it was... not what I was expecting. I thought they were scouts and explorers, sent out to find and discover all sorts of new things. Not an old boy’s club. The more he talked the more I recalled images of rich old gentlemen out in the Savannah with huge rifles next to the bodies of dead lions and elephants.Not that I had anything against pith helmets, they were pretty cool.I was still willing to try it out. “What can you tell me about my, um, partner?”There was a shrewd look in Mister Rainnewt’s eyes that faded almost as soon as I noticed it. “She’s a young noble lady from the Nesting Kingdom from the north. A scion of the Albatross family who wants to spice up her life a little. A Thunder Mage, if that helps any.”“That sounds nice,” I said. “Okay, I was already interested. But I have questions.”He nodded. “I’m here to answer them, of course.”“Alright. Are there any responsibilities associated with joining the guild? Are there any entry requirements I should be aware of? And do we get to wear cool hats? Oh, and what kind of pay do we get?”He blinked a few times then chuckled. “There’s a standard yearly membership fee, five lesser gold or a percentage off any gains until such a time as the fee is paid. Most missions pay one or two sil per day in the field. The missions available for more senior members double that; any discoveries made are handsomely rewarded. Most members who come in at your financial level still manage to make a tidy profit, though those who do the best are usually those who join a peer’s party. As for your headgear, that is up to you, I’m afraid.”I nodded along. The membership fee seemed steep, but they had to pay rent, and it sounded as if I had time to pay it off. Judging by how liberal the party I had met in the Darkwoods had been with their gold I would still be making my money back.“As for responsibilities. There are some, many even, but not for an entrant as you would be. You’re still in your first rank?” he asked.“My first rank?”He chuckled. “Between levels one and ten. Past the tenth level you enter your second rank, past your twentieth level, if you become one of the few to make it so far, you enter your third rank.”“Oh, yeah, I’m level six.”“Six? Well well, I’m certain you’ll have an opportunity to grow stronger with us.”I had the distinct impression that Mister Rainnewt wasn’t laying down all his cards here. Still... if he was going to give me what I wanted. “I’m looking forward to it!”He grinned and pulled the stack of sheets closer before drawing a small case out from his desk and opening it to reveal a very pretty pen. He started making notes and checking things off with a flourish. “Do you have any skills pertaining to exploration, Miss Bunch? Scouting, Cartography, Pathfinding?”“I have Archeology. It’s still rather weak, but I think it should help. Other than that most of my skills are based on support and, um, movement.” No one had to know that I had the Cute skill. No one. “Oh, and I have Insight at Rank C. Um, that is, Disciple.”Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.“Interesting,” he said as he made a few more notes. “I think you might actually fit in nicely. Beyond just coming in at an opportune moment. Once you’ve returned from your first expedition come and see me, I might be able to place you in a team that will better be able to use your skills.”“Alright?” I said.He turned the document over and slid towards me. “Do you know how to write your name?” he asked.I blinked. Did he think I was illiterate? Maybe that was normal with poorer people. I took the document, snapped it so that it held itself up, and then read the entire thing to the tune of a clock in the back of the room going ‘tic tock.’The contract part was fairly simple. It marked me as a temporary member for the Exploration Guild for a period of one month or until I had fulfilled certain requirements. It outlined the protections available to members, including some discounts available at certain other guilds and reductions on travel costs. I could even demand a return for some expenses like food and special equipment.It wasn’t a very big or complicated contract, nothing like the end user agreements back home.I tapped a line near the end. “This says that the guild will be taking a fifty percent cut on all profits I make for three years to recoup the cost of admission,” I said. “But the admission cost is probably way lower than what I would lose over that same period. Also, the temporary membership period is only for those that chose not to pay their first year’s membership fee up front.”“That’s correct,” he said. His smile hadn’t so much as twitched.“What counts as a first year? Is it from the date I join to the same date one year later? Or is it from now until the start of the next year?”“That latter,” he said.“In that case, shouldn’t the fee be reduced by the amount of time that has already passed this year?” I asked.His smile grew into a full-on grin. “I’ll see what I can do. Is there anything else on the contract that bothers you?”“Nope,” I said as I picked up his shiny pen and wrote ‘Broccoli Bunch’ in big happy letters. There was nothing that prevented me from just quitting whenever I wanted to or if I felt the guild wasn’t a good fit. And there was a grace period in which I could pay my admission fee. I would make my final choice after my first mission was done.“Then that’s done,” he said as he took the papers back, tapped them down to make sure they were neat, then set them to the side. “I do suspect that’s all for today. I’ll be giving you a badge. Most members of the Guild have a bandoleer, something of a tradition, but I see you’re already equipped. The pins and medals on a member’s clothes will usually give you an idea of their rank and accomplishments.” He tapped his lapel where a small compass rose was sitting with a few pins all around it.“Neat,” I said. It was like the girl scouts all over again, but with more dragons and less cookies.Mister Rainnewt stood up and reached over to the table for a handshake, which I eagerly returned. I just hoped that he didn’t notice the fizz of my cleaning spell after we had shook. “Welcome to the Exploration Guild, Miss Bunch. Now, I’m aware that your entrance is a little... abnormal. But it does provide some opportunities that I hope you will use to your benefit.”“I hope so too,” I said.“Very well. If you can present yourself at the lobby tomorrow two hours before noon, with any equipment you would need for a week-long voyage, I would be ever so grateful.”I froze. “Tomorrow?” I squeaked.“Opportunity waits for no one,” he said.“I... can do that, I guess. Um. A voyage to where?” I asked.This was way too soon, and with far too little warning.“The new members are travelling by airship-”“I’ll be there!”“I... see, that’s wonderful. Do pack for a rather swampy area.”“No problem!” I said. “Though I will have to leave now if I’m to have the time to get all the things I need.”“Of course. Here,” he said as he opened a drawer and pulled out a small compass rose pin. “The stores that offer discounts are all marked, I’m certain someone as shrewd as you will figure it out.”“Thanks,” I said as I took the pin and ran a thumb over it. It was just simple steel with some porcelain embossing over it, the design little more than a deep blue compass rose with a tiny brown bandoleer running across it.I pinned it right over my heart, then, because my hands were already close, I gave Orange’s sleeping head a rub.“Okay then.” I said. “I guess that means I’ll be off. Until tomorrow?”“Until tomorrow,” Mister Rainnewt agreed.I left the guildhouse with a skip to my step and a bunch of plans percolating in the back of my mind.The next day I was going to meet my partner, and we would go on a grand adventure together. Which meant that I would have plenty of opportunities to turn her into the very best friend ever.No more travelling with people for a few days only to be torn apart, or meeting cool new people only to have to move on.This time I was determined to make the best of my opportunity!Also, I’d get to ride an airship.People looked at me as I cheered and skipped down Guild Row.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cute skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!...“No!”
Chapter Forty-One — Booksie
I was pretty sure all the equipment I had already would be perfect for my first exploration mission. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to be even more ready. If I was going to be trekking around in a swamp then there were some things I would want. Boots that were made for hiking and one of those anti-bug rune things that Milread had used were both at the top of my list.My first step was to walk back down to Central. The street was lined with shops that sold all sorts of things. Now that I was looking there were lots of small logos on walls and next to shop signs that matched the pins worn by the employees within.I supposed that the guilds served as a sort of union. I hoped that they had something to say about quality as I entered a store with a large shoe-shaped sign at the front. It was filled with boots and shoes of all sorts and, probably because of the before-noon hours, completely empty of clients.The only person in the shop was a nice grenoil girl who helped me find a pair of hiking boots. She kept looking at my shoes with something akin to wonder though; I guess sneakers weren’t all that common. My new boots didn’t fit perfectly and they didn’t have the grippy rubber soles that I expected from boots, but they did look nice, with carefully tooled leather that had been polished to a shine.I left with a box tucked under one arm and two silver less in my pocket.Next was a stop in a general store half a dozen times bigger than the one in Rockstack and with hundreds of strange items within. It took a lot of focus to just pick out some foodstuffs and a magic bug-repelling amulet, which were apparently quite common.Then, arms full of stuff that I would need to repack later, I headed back to the Rock Inn and Roll Inn.“Ah, Broccoli,” Julien said as I walked in. “How did your adventure go? See any pretty ships?”“I’m a temporary member of the Exploration Guild now!” I said as I moved over to the bar. “And no, I didn’t get to see the ships yet. I’m going to go drop this stuff off, alright?”“Go ahead, go ahead.”I returned to the dinning room to find Julien sitting at one of the tables with two hot meals before him. One at the seat he was perched on and the other before an empty chair. He gestured to the chair as soon as he saw me.“So, tell zis old gossip how it went,” he demanded.I grinned as I sniffed at the meal. “It went well, I think. I met a Mister Rainnewt and I joined as a temporary member for now. I’ll see about joining in full in a little bit.”“Good on you, girl,” Julien said. “Now you’ll begin your training I suppose?”“Nope. I’m heading out tomorrow on my first expedition.”“Truly? Zings have changed zen.”“I think it’s an exception being made. I did come in with a recommendation.” I blew across a spoonful of some sort of potato-ish soup before munching down on it. Just like all the food I'd had in Julien and Juliette's Inns, it was heavenly. “I bought a few things for the trip tomorrow. We’re travelling by airship!”“Oh? Do you know where to?” he asked.“Somewhere swampy,” I said.“Zat narrows it down to anywhere in Deepmarsh!” he said with a laugh. “You’ll want to pack a few good books for ze trip. Else you’ll be bored.”“On an airship?” I asked.He nodded. “Oh yes. It’s quite exciting for the first few hours, zen you get used to it. It’s like anyzing else, really.”“Well, I guess,” I said. I didn’t believe him, but I wasn’t going to tell him to his face. Then again, I did have a bit of silver to spend still, and a couple of books wouldn’t hurt. I had read most of my herbology book cover to cover, even if some parts I’d just skimmed. “Do you know any bookstores in the area?”“Zere’s one along Central zat has a good reputation, but it is quite expensive. And zere’s one two streets down zat is owned by a bun. She is quite nice. Less books, but better price.”A bun? Like a Cinnamon Bun? “Can you give me directions?” I asked before noticing that my bowl was empty. I pouted at it while Julien laughed. He picked up the dishes as he got up and rattled off a few simple instructions. Most of them were about turning left at a red building and past a barber shop instead of just street names, but I didn’t mind.Tummy full, and a way to waste the rest of the day away at hand, I walked back out onto the main streets of Port Royal.I couldn’t get enough of just walking around the port city. There were so many strange people out and about. From grenoil aristocrats to people that looked like adventurers. I crossed before a group of five armoured people that I suspected were human, but couldn’t tell because of the thick black plate armour they were wearing, and at one point I almost bumped into a floating crystal that apologised to me in a chiming voice for blocking my path.The farther I got from Central the quieter the streets became. There were still horses and toads moving about and people walking to and fro, but the number of shops decreased. Instead the area was filled with big homes.And then I found the bookstore, a narrow-but-tall building tucked between a butcher’s shop and a normal home. There was a sign hanging off the front of an opened book with a big pair of bunny ears sticking out of it.A bell jingled when I pressed into the shop, and the same anti-stink enchantments must have been active because instead of smelling like sulphur and horse-poop, the interior smelled like books and fresh paper. There might have been something to dampen the sound too, because the constant hiss of steam through pipes was lessened into only a faint murmur in the distance.“Just one moment, I’ll be right with you,” someone called from deeper in the store.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.“Take your time,” I called back. Books, I knew, were a lot more expensive here than they were back on Earth. Probably because producing paper and bindings was complicated and fewer people were literate. A richer clientele and more complexity in making a product meant it was more expensive.The store had a few rows of shelves, some filled with scrolls, others with leather-bound books. There were display cases with glass fronts filling most of the front of the store, a few books on plush cushions with little placards with their titles next to them.I walked around, inspecting the names of the books one by one with a growing smile. A Rose Among Marshy Thorns looked like a harlequin romance while Silverto’s Compendium of the Arcane looked like a fascinating book about magic. The titles said a lot about the books, which helped since other than some occasional gilding on the edges, the books didn’t have covers with pictures on them.“Hello there. Ah, a human.”I turned and took in the woman that I assumed owned the store. She was young-ish, maybe still in her twenties, with a nice dress and, most attention grabbing of all, a big pair of floppy black bunny ears atop her head. She didn’t even have normal ears that I could see.“Whoa,” I said before I remembered that I had to be polite to everybody if I expected the same in return. “Ah, hi, sorry, I never met someone with such pretty ears before. I’m Broccoli!”The girl grinned. “Hello Broccoli. I’m Booksie. Or, well, that’s what my friends call me.”Were we friends already? I was really starting to like this shop. “My friends call me Broc sometimes,” I said. “But Broccoli is okay too. After all, broccoli is good for you.”Booksie giggled at that. “Well then, Broccoli, how can I help you today? Are you looking for something in particular?” She looked down at my chest. “Or are you here for something to help you with an exploration mission?”“Oh,” I said as I touched my pin. “No, just something to pass the time. I have an airship trip tomorrow; I need reading material. Do you have anything on magic? For people who are really bad at it?”“I might have a thing or two,” Booksie said.“Oh, and apparently my mana is cleaning-type. So any neat spells that would be easy to cast would be really neat too.”“Hmm,” Booksie said as she tapped her chin. “Wait right here!”I continued looking at all the books for the two or three minutes it took for Booksie to bounce around. She returned with two books and a pile of scrolls that she placed on a table that was free of any books.“Alright! I forgot to ask you about your budget.” She tapped a knuckle to the side of her head and stuck her tongue out. “Sorry! But I picked some books that aren’t too expensive. This is A Guide to Manipulating the Essence, it’s a primer from the Deepmarsh magic academy. Simple, used to teach younger students. Thirty silver. It won’t have anything too advanced in it, but it should come with explanations. The diagrams are simple to follow and there are sections with practice exercises to help you refine your control.”“Oh, neat,” I said as I picked up the book and leafed through it. There were lots of illustrations and the language used seemed almost... condescending, but maybe that was for the best.“This is Larson’s translation of a Pyrowalkian combat instruction manual. It’s quite popular. One lesser gold.”I took the next book more carefully and opened it up. The text was split down the middle with the same words written above and below but in different handwritings. “Why does it just say the same thing twice?” I asked.Booksie blinked at me. “Because it’s a translation. The top is in the language spoken in Pyrowalk, the bottom is in Deepmarsh. They share a linguistic root, so some words are similar. Can you... read either?”“I can read both,” I said. How could I read both? Was it some sort of cool translation power given by my class? Or maybe because I was from another world? That would be super neat! The only problem was that I couldn’t see the translation at work. Which begged the question, which language was I speaking now?“Oh!” Booksie said. “Well then, maybe wait for an original copy of the manual then. I hear that it has wonderful illustrations.”“It is a bit much for a translation,” I said. I couldn’t afford to spend too much on books, not when I would probably be coming back in a few days with even more money. “What about the scrolls?” I asked as I gave her back the one book and moved the other closer to my end of the table. I was certainly going to read it.“I brought a bunch. Unfortunately, there are many, many cleaning spells, but they’re rarely written in scrolls. Too... common, I’m afraid. But cleaning mana is close to holy, light and water, so I have a few staples of those aspects. This is Holy Light, which irritates the undead and can dissipate a ghost. Good for lighting up dark rooms too. Lightball, which creates a ball of light that moves with the caster. And this is Draw Water. It’s made to draw water from the ground, but it’s a staple spell of water mages everywhere. Learning it should help you learn more water-aspect spells later.”“How much for all of them?” I asked.Booksie looked a little flustered for a moment. “Ah, well, um, two sil each?”“I’ll take all three and A Guide to Manipulating the Essence,” I said.“Oh, wow, okay. Yes, let me just get you a bag!”As Booksie ran around and looked for a bag and then counted out the silvers I gave her, I looked at all the books around me and promised myself that I would be back. I had a lot of catching up to do, after all!
Chapter Forty-Two — Sorry for Harpy Rocking
I arrived early, because I wanted to make a good first impression, and because Julien said that if I paced across his bar one more time he was going to make me sweep the floors while I was at it, and when I offered to do just that he kicked me out and told me to have a safe trip.I shifted from side to side before the doors of the Exploration Guild building, hands running over my armour to make sure everything was in its place and that I was as neat and tidy as I could be. I needed a haircut, and maybe a nice bath. But I was clean. Very clean.It was just nerves that had my tummy twisting up inside me with tension.There had been a few opportunities to make friends already since I had arrived in this world, opportunities that I felt like I had missed or messed up. Heck, I could have just stopped people on the streets and asked them to be friends, but that would have felt forced. This-being given a partner-felt like it was my big chance. I would be spending some time with them, which meant plenty of opportunities to buddy up! We were even supposed to be of roughly the same age!I took a deep breath and opened the door.The lobby was nearly empty except for Mister Rainnewt, the secretary behind her desk, and an unfamiliar grenoil man. The two men were talking, the grenoil while leaning against the counter and Mister Rainnewt with his hands folded at the small of his back.I didn’t want to interrupt them, especially after they both looked my way then dismissed me to continue talking, so I took a circuitous route around all the displays, making sure not to bump any with my bulging backpack or the haft of my spear. The vases were quite... vase-y, and the big display with the dungeon inside of it certainly looked neat, and the monsters in the tiny rooms looked fearsome, but in the end I found myself itching to get it over with.“Hello!” I said as I walked across the carpeted room towards Mister Rainnewt and his friend. There was a faint but persistent smell of alcohol in the air that had me recoiling a little.One look at the grenoil man had me pinning all my suspicions on him.He looked like an adventurer, with a bandoleer across one shoulder and a coil of rope over the other. He wore simple but tough looking clothes with plenty of pockets, and a cloak over his shoulders, the hood rolled up around his neck to let him see better. The cloak did a good job of hiding the knife and the two flasks around his waist. “Who’s zis munchkin?” the grenoil asked.“This,” Mister Rainnewt said. “Is Broccoli Bunch. She will be Amaryllis' partner for the expedition. I expect you to take care of her as well, though she does have some experience under her belt.”I swelled up with pride at that. I also took note of the name. Amaryllis. Was that my partner?“Experience wiz what? Walking in a straight line? She doesn’t look like she knows how to handle zat spear,” the grenoil said“I don’t,” I said. “Know how to handle the spear, I mean. I got it from a dryad in the Darkwoods and just... kind of kept it. It’s a good walking stick.”The grenoil blinked, then guffawed and pulled one of his flasks from his belt until Rainnewt cleared his throat and he stuffed it back. “Well, at least zere’s zat. I’m not saddled wiz ze usual batch of no-good nobley sorts. If you can’t use ze spear zen what do you use?”He was eying the knife in my bandoleer and the one by my hip. “I have a makeshift weapons skill,” I said.“Huh. Dangerous one, zat. Hard to predict. I’m Gabriel.”“Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch,” I said before extending a hand to shake. Gabriel shook with a grin.“So, you ready for a week of babysitting, hardships, long nights, and more babysitting Broccoli?” he asked.“Babysitting?” I repeated.He gave me a froggy grin. “Oh yeah, just you wait.” He turned towards Rainnewt. “What kind of brats do we have zis time?”“They are hardly brats. They are respectable new members of our esteemed guild. The Brack twins are actually quite capable,” Rainnewt said.“From ze Bracklands?” Gabriel asked.I felt like a third wheel in the conversation, but stepping back would have been awkwards, so I just stood and listened as they spoke over my head.“Exactly. Cousins of the duke,” Rainnewt said.“Snobby little shits, you mean,” Gabriel grumbled.I didn’t call him out on using bad words because this wasn’t the place for it, and we weren’t friends (yet), but I made a note to be sure not to copy his vocabulary. Also, he was judging people before even meeting them, which was never a nice thing to do.“You didn’t read any of the files we gave you, did you?” Rainnewt asked. He rolled his eyes back as if looking to the heavens for help.I gave mister Gabriel a very disapproving look of my own. He should have done his homework, especially if his job, as I understood it, was to take care of us.He noticed my pout and huffed. “Don’t give me zat look. You’ve no idea what zeir files look like. Right nightmare to read. Besides, I’ve got Inspect, it’ll tell me everything I have to know. Like you’re a... level six Cinnamon Bun? What in ze world is zat?”“It’s my class,” I said as I crossed my arms. “It’s a support class.” Which was far better than admitting that it was a class that had skills like Cute.“Right,” he said.Since he had used something on me, I didn’t feel that bad using Insight on him. It was only fair, after all.A mostly-sober Grenoil Pathfinder of the Midnight Marshes, level ???He wasn’t even sober! This man was a bad influence!My thoughts were interrupted by the doors near the entrance opening and two people stepping in with the sort of confidence I wish I had. They were both grenoils, and even though they were a boy and a girl, there was something about them that made them look similar. Probably the patchy pattern across their skin.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.The boy had robes on, with expensive looking boots and a fine cloak. The girl had form-fitting armour that looked like leather over padded cloth, a pretty sword hung by her hip that bounced with every step. They both had backpacks on, sleeping bags rolled up atop them and a staff sticking out of the boy’s.“Ah, France and Florence,” Mister Rainnewt said. “You’re right on time. Let me introduce you to the man that will be leading your expedition. This is Gabriel, a senior member of the guild. Don’t let his demeanor fool you, he’s quite talented. And this is Miss Bunch, one of the others going through her first expedition.”“Hrm,” Gabriel said as he nodded to the twins.“Hello!” I said.The boy, Florence, grinned at me. “I didn’t know we would be in ze presence of such cute company,” he said.His sister was kind enough to elbow him in the side for his comment.I was not cute; I was attractive.The door opened again and a final person entered the room.“And here we have our last participant,” Mister Rainnewt said. “Hello, miss Albatross.”“Hello,” the girl said as she moved deeper into the room. I stared at her with a strange feeling in my chest. It was the same harpy girl that I had run into the day before, the one that had insulted my outfit and who had been rude to me.That exchange had been fast, with barely a few seconds to see what she looked like. Now I had a moment to really take her in. She was tall, especially with her messy white hair-feathers and her head turned up so that she was looking at everyone else along the length of her sharp nose. She was pretty though, in the more classical sense. Sharp cheeks and a thin figure under well-fit clothes.All she had on her was a blouse covered by a sleeveless leather jacket that had a feathery ruff and a pair of shorts that left her long taloned feet exposed so that her every step dug into the carpet. No weapons that I could see, and no gear.“Are we ready to get this over with?” she asked.“Do you want me to make introductions?” Mister Rainnewt asked.“We can do that on the way. Which one is my partner?” she eyed France and Florian appraisingly.“Miss Bunch here,” Rainnewt said as he placed a hand on my shoulder.“Hello!” I said, snapping to attention. “My name is Broccoli Bunch! I hope we become the best of friends!”Amaryllis stared at me for a long moment, one eyebrow rising. “Is this the best the Exploration Guild has?” she asked.“Hey!” I said before Mister Rainnewt could say anything. “I’m more than capable of handling myself, I’ll have you know.”Gabriel snort-croaked. “C’mon, featherbrain, we’re wasting time. You join up with Broccoli here or you stay here. Your choice.”Amaryllis huffed and crossed her arms. “Very well. Let’s get going then?”“Fine by me,” Gabriel said as he pushed off the counter and started towards the door. “Stick close kiddies, we’re heading to ze docks. Doubt anyone is fool enough to mess with us, but you never know.”The twins followed, and soon I was walking next to my partner as we made our way onto the streets. It was just about noon, which meant that the streets were pretty quiet. The sun was beaming down from above and cutting through the slight steamy fog around the city. It warmed up otherwise-chilly roads.It was good weather for setting off on an adventure.“So, you’re Amaryllis, right? That’s a very pretty name,” I said.Amaryllis ignored me.“What made you join the guild?” I asked, and when I didn’t receive any answer other than a dry look, I went on. “I joined because I like exploring. I met a party from the guild next to a ruined town and thought it would be neat to try and join myself. Now here I am!”“Do you have to talk so much?” Amaryllis asked. “I don’t know who sent you, but I doubt they paid you to become my friend.”“Paid me? Nobody needs to pay me to be their friend, that’s a free service!”The harpy next to me crossed her arms. “This is going to be a long week. Isn’t it?”“It’s only going to be long if you’re not enjoying yourself,” I said. “Maybe... maybe you’re not ready to be friends yet, that’s okay. But if we’re going to work together then maybe we should make an effort to get to know each other? And if we do become friends, then that’s just for the best.”“Ze human’s not wrong,” Gabriel said. “If you’re gonna share a tent wiz someone, best to be on good terms. Ze ozer options aren’t always pretty.”I saw the twins glancing at each other, then back to me and Amaryllis.“Fine. I’m Amaryllis Albatross, of the Albatross family. I’m the third daughter, which means I have two older sisters. I’m a Thunder Mage. My specialty is mid ranged area of effect magic. Is there anything else you need to know?”“All sorts of things,” I said. “Like what your favourite colours are, and your favourite food, and your favourite books, but those things can wait,” I said. “I’m Broccoli Bunch, of the Bunch family on Earth. I’m an only daughter, and I’m a Cinnamon Bun. My class is about support, though I don’t have that many useful skills yet. I’m really bad at combat, and I’m pretty good at talking. This is Orange Bunch.” I pulled the flap on a pouch of my bandoleer open and accidentally woke up Orange who stuck her head out and glared. “She’s a spirit kitten companion. She’s not that good at combat yet, but she gives great snuggles.”I looked at Amaryllis and found her staring at me as if I was a snake she found in her boot.“I hope we become good friends!”
Chapter Forty-Three — The Silver Boot
With all the warnings I had received about the docks I had kind of built a mental image of what the place would look like. There would be rough people on every corner and graffiti all over, and some people peddling drugs and stuff out of long trench coats.Instead the docks were merely a very busy place. Hundreds of people moving about between wagons and carts. Formations of guards stomped across the middle of the road with plenty of space around them and the only groups I saw waiting on the corners of streets were grenoils and some humans with signs saying they were looking for work.The place even smelled a bit better than the rest of the city, maybe because the road ended with a railing overlooking a huge cliff and that meant that there was a constant wind blowing past to take any smells away.With Gabriel at the front, we had no trouble cutting through the crowd. People seemed to just get out of his way, and when he did deviate from his straight path it was always to avoid a wagon that would have blocked our path in a few steps.“So cool,” I said as I looked to my right where a huge zeppelin-like ship was coming into dock. It was the size of a modern jet. One big balloon with some green banners on its side and a bunch of ship-like parts protruding out of the bottom. I could see people running around inside through small portholes.There seemed to be two kinds of airships. Big blimp-y ones. Basically large balloons with some engines sticking out of them. And airships that looked like sea-going ships but with a whole lot of crystal bits jutting out of the hull and big engines that spewed blue-grey smoke out of big pipes.“Stop staring like a country bumpkin,” Amaryllis said. “We’re getting close. If you fall behind I’m not coming back to fetch you.”“Oh, right!” I said as I snapped back to attention. It didn’t last very long, my eyes kept darting around to take everything in.The docks were built on a few levels, with a wooden pier one level up that shook and thundered with the footsteps of the people moving about and another level below ours that stuck out of the cliff face and stretched out into long piers that ships were docking at.“Zat’s our ride,” Gabriel called out as he pointed down one pier.The ship docked there was one of the smaller airships around, maybe thirty meters long. It was one of those strange hybrid sorts with sails folded by its sides and a large engine sitting in its middle. Two huge propellers stuck out of the back, spinning idly in the breeze.The crew crawling over the rigging and running across the deck all wore deep blue shirts and, wonder of wonders, were nearly all human-save for a few grenoil.“Hoh there!” a man called as he stepped across the gangplank leading to the ship without so much as a glance at the fall below. “Are you the group from the Exploration Guild?” he asked.“Yeah, we are,” Gabriel said. “You’re Isaac?”“That I am,” the man said. He doffed his big tricorn hat and placed it over his chest as he gave our group an extravagant bow.I couldn’t resist, even if it was a little bit rude...A proud Sky Captain, level ?.“Is that your ship?” I asked, pointing to the vessel next to us that was gently bobbing in the air. “It’s gorgeous.”The captain, Isaac, rose up and stared at me. “Um,” he said.The Silver Boot, a Mattergrove airskiff captained by Isaac Pinewood, well-maintained.“It is, yes,” the captain said, his chest puffing out a little. “She’s been with me for some years now. The sleekest skiff east of the Seven Peaks. We’ve fought through storms and flew out of the grasp of air pirates on more than one occasion together, and she’s never once failed me.”“Sky pirates,” I repeated. “You are the coolest person I have ever met,” I said.Isaac scratched at his chin right next to his really cool mustache. “Well, thank you, I suppose.”“Right,” Gabriel said. “Enough fawning over ze dry skin, let’s get aboard and get out of zis hole.” He crossed the gangplank then shouted over his shoulder. “Where’re ze cabins on zis zing?”“Let me show you,” Isaac said before jumping ahead of Gabriel and leading him, and us, over to the back of the ship. It took a few steps to get used to the swaying underfoot, but that was a small price to pay for stepping onto an actual airship.“You really are a country bumpkin,” Amaryllis said as she looked at me. Her expression was hard to read, but it was somewhere between horror and disgust.“We don’t have airships where I’m from,” I said truthfully. “We do have aircraft, but it’s not the same. And what’s wrong with looking for the wonder in the things I see? Isn’t that the whole goal of the Exploration Guild?”“I suppose,” Amaryllis allowed. “Just don’t get in my way. This expedition will be over soon enough, I hope.”I let the comment go. I didn’t want to push her just yet.Isaac showed us to a lower floor of the airskiff where there were tiny rooms with hammocks strung between the walls and tiny portholes to see out of. The inside of the ship was a bit cramped, and there was a persistent smell like burning rope and motor oil, but I could live with it. “And this leads onto the gallery,” he said as he opened a door onto a balcony. I followed eagerly, then gripped the edge of the rails as I suddenly found myself looking down at a drop of hundreds of meters to the rocky ground below. “Watch yourself there,” he warned.“Right!” I said.“I can give you a proper tour once we’ve taken off and the ship has settled. In the meanwhile, please keep to this deck. The galley is towards the bow and the head is on the port side. Don’t use it until we’re no longer docked. It’s a bit of a faux-pas to empty the head at port.” He grinned at the group and pressed his hat down on his head a moment before a gust of wind blew past. “I need to get things sorted up top. It might be better if you wait in your rooms.”The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.“Yes sir,” I said with a sloppy salute. I wasn’t about to get on his bad side, especially if it meant losing any privileges aboard the Silver Boot.We returned to our rooms. The twins France and Florian had their own, and Gabriel had a bigger room all to himself. That left me and Amaryllis to bunk together in a space that was smaller than my closet back home.Not that that was too bad. I had a pretty big closet.“I’m taking the top,” my partner said without a second glance before she tossed herself onto the hammock above.“Okay,” I said. The bottom had a better view out of the porthole anyway. I stashed my things to the side then pulled out my copy of A Guide to Manipulating the Essence and sat on the ground with my legs stretched out. The hammock wouldn’t let me feel the rumble of the airskiff and it would be harder to read with the heavy book hanging above my head.The first few pages were filed with warnings about practicing magic without proper supervision and some of the dangers that came from uncontrolled magic. The kinds of things that I expected to see in any manual for a complicated machine, but with a magical edge to it.Of course magic was dangerous, all the best things in life were a little risky.“You know magic?” Amaryllis asked.I looked up just in time to see her shifting around to stare back at the ceiling. “Not really,” I said. “I’m hoping to learn though. I’ve been practicing really hard and trying my best, but I’m not very good at it. Cleaning spells are pretty much the best I can manage for now.”“Tch. Cleaning spells are for peasants.”“I practice mine on the undead. It’s really effective.”Amaryllis looked down again. “What?”“I think it’s because cleaning magic is close to holy? Or maybe it has some sort of purifying effect? I’m not sure, but I’m positive I’ll find out if I read enough about magic.” I looked up a big grin. “You’re a mage, right? You must be super good at magic stuff?”The harpy crossed her arms (or were they wings?) over her chest. “Of course I’m good. I went to the greatest academies in the Nesting Kingdom. I certainly know more about magic than some peasant like you.”“Neat,” I said. “Maybe I’ll know something you don’t, and we can trade lessons later. I’d love to learn more about magic and how it all works.” The skiff shuddered and I felt it starting to move underfoot. “We’re taking off!” I said as I dropped my book to my side and rushed to the porthole.The docks were slowly receding as we moved backwards out of the port, the propellers behind the ship whirling like mad to pull us away. Then we slowed to a stop and the entire ship shifted so that its front was pointing to the sky.“Whoa,” I said as we shot forwards. I had to hold onto the walls to stop myself from falling. The city outside of the window flew past. Not at the kinds of speeds a plane back home could reach, but still plenty fast, and we were far closer to the city than any plane would dare fly over back home.After a moment, the skiff stabilized and its flight became a little more even. That’s when someone knocked at our door.“C’mong kiddies,” Gabriel’s gruff voice called out. “Get to ze galley. We’ve got missions to talk about and I want to get it over wiz before I drown my sorrows.”“Is he the one that smelled like alcohol?” Amaryllis asked.I nodded, then because she couldn’t see me, answered aloud. “He is. It’s really not a good example to set. Still, I trust that the guild wouldn’t send someone too bad to accompany us.”Amaryllis landed on the ground next to me. “I hope you’re right,” she said.I tucked away my book which had slid across the floor, then followed Amaryllis out into the corridor and to the front (bow?) of the ship. The area was little more than a very basic kitchen with a desk and a few chairs, all firmly bolted to the floor. Gabriel was at the head of the table, two stacks of paper before him with a knife through each to prevent them from moving.The twins had beaten us to the mess and were already sitting down.“Hello again,” I said as I sat between Gabriel and Amaryllis.“Hrm,” Gabriel said. He pulled a flask from his belt and took a swig. “Alright tadpoles, let ze old man chat for a bit, and zen you can run off to do whatever.”He tapped one of the folders before him. I was mildly surprised to see paper being used for such frivolous stuff, I thought it was more valuable, but maybe there was some sort of paper-making magic out there? Or a paper dungeon with paper drops?“Zis is an easy one. Even you brats ought to be able to pull it off. Twins, zere has been a shift in ze magical ley lines. Can either of you sense mana well enough to track ze source down?”“I can do zat,” Florien said.“Good, zen do it,” Gabriel said as he removed the knife holding one file in place and slid it to the twins. “As for you two. Zere is an old fort, made when we zought zere would be war with ze Trentans. It’s been decommissioned and left to rot. Check it out, map ze roads around it.”He pulled the second knife out of the table and handed me the file.“Now I’m going to go get very drunk. Don’t bozer me.”
Chapter Forty-Four — A Step Around the Boot
“I want to look around and get the big tour,” I said to Amaryllis as soon as we were back in our little room.“And leave me to do all the paperwork?” she asked acerbically while waving the file we had been given around.I shook my head. “No, no! Let’s look at it now, then... we could take the tour together? It sounds like a lot of fun?”The harpy rolled her eyes and sat down onto my hammock to place the folder onto her lap. “No. But you’re not wrong about looking over these now rather than later.” She fumbled with the edge of the folder, her talons not exactly suited to handling the paper, but when I reached out to help she glared and tore the folder open. There were only two sheets within and they seemed identical. “Here, tell me if you don’t understand anything,” she said as she passed one over.“Thanks!” I took the page and sat down on the ground next to my backpack to read over it.Exploration Guild Official Expedition SummaryExpedition No.124 of Year 398PC, Port-Royal BranchMission Statement: To explore, scout, and map the region around decommissioned Fort Froger and return to meeting point.Estimated time: Approx 3 daysDifficulty: Low to NegligibleThat left me with a few questions. Notably, what did the PC in the year stand for and who named the fort we were going to explore? Asking about the year would be suspicious so... “Did they really name the fort Fort Froger?” I asked.Amaryllis looked up from the page and shrugged. “Why not?”“Isn’t that a bit... racist?”She tilted her head to the side in a way that immediately made me think of a bird. “I think it would be speciesist, actually. And no, it’s okay if the Grenoil themselves named it, I think.”“I guess,” I said. “So this isn’t really heavy on the details. Do you know anything about this fort?”“No, I don’t. It sounds like one of the projects that went up just after the skirmish with the Trenten Flats. I know Deepmarsh went mad building fortifications for a few years, only for half of them to go unmaintained when nothing happened.”“I’m not familiar with the history,” I said.Amaryllis sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with her talons. “I’ll tell you once we’re on the ground again. Go do your country bumpkin routine with the captain.”“Alright!” I said. She didn’t need to tell me twice. I scrambled to my feet and tucked the page into my bandoleer before I noticed Orange’s head looking around. I bit my lip. “Hey, before I go, can you watch over Orange for me? I don’t want her to get hurt while I’m looking around the ship. Thank you!” I tossed the spirit cat onto Amaryllis’ lap, the kitty looking none too pleased by the sudden motion, then walked out of the door.Now I just needed to find the captain...As it turned out, that wasn’t too hard. The moment I climbed onto the deck I spotted him with his awesome hat standing next to the ship’s wheel, a collapsible telescope in one hand and a folded map in the other.I made sure that I wouldn’t bump into anyone on the crew as I made my way to the rear section of the ship. I knew it was called a castle or something, but I wasn’t quite sure. I had to brush up on my nautical terminology before I became a sky captain myself.“Ah, hello there, Broccoli,” Captain Isaac said over the rumble of the Silver Boot’s engine and the whistle of the wind.I pulled my hair back out of my face, then started to tie it into a rough bun. “Hello, captain!”“This is excellent flying weather,” he said. “We should be making it to Green Hold just before nightfall.”“Green Hold?” I asked. Since he wasn’t looking right at me, focused as he was on his map, I decided to take a moment to scan the ship. Other than a few people coiling up ropes or sitting back and taking a break, there were few people on the deck.The rest of the space was taken up by the big magic engine thing in the middle, two shirtless men both working around it with shovels in hand, occasionally tossing some glowy rocks into a burner at the back.The front of the ship had another man with a telescope who was leaning against a large ballista while looking around. There weren’t any canons or anything like that, which was a little disappointing.“I take it this is your first time aboard an airship?” Captain Isaac asked.“It is!” I said. “And it’s wonderful.”He laughed, full and from the belly. “Count yourself lucky that the trip isn’t even a day long. I love the Boot, but people who aren’t born for the sky can find it hard to stay aboard a ship for a long while.”“That’s ridiculous,” I said. How twisted and evil would someone have to be to not enjoy time spent on an airship of all things?“It is what it is,” he said. “Did you want a bit of a tour? We still have a good six hours before we make landfall.”“Wait, we’re arriving today?” I asked.“You thought the trip would take longer?”I shifted from side to side and pressed my fingers together while fighting a bit of a blush. “Well, I was kind of hoping for a grand airship adventure. You know, sky pirates and maybe a fight with an evil dragon?”The captain blinked, then tilted his head back to laugh. “No! No, I'm afraid there’s a dearth of sky pirates over Deepmarsh. And as for dragons, well, we have our banners.”“Banners?” I repeated. Captain Isaac pointed to the rigging where a pair of big green banners with a strange symbol in the middle. It had wavy lines that probably represented water, and a big mouth like a crocodile’s chomping its way out of the waves. Its long forked tongue was shaped a bit like a mangrove tree.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.“You didn’t hear it from me, but most dragons are on the wrong side of greedy. The sky belongs to them, so if you want to pass through their territory you need to pay a tax. The banners are a sign that you’ve paid your part. They’re imbued with the dragon’s own magic. They see the banner, they leave you alone. They don’t and your ship is fair game. Worse, if they see a rival’s banner then you’d best hope you know the featherfall spell because your ship is going down.”“Whoa,” I said. “You can’t fight them off?”Isaac laughed, but this time it had a tinge of actual horror in it. “No, no you can’t. A young dragon will usually be in its fourth tier. A match in sheer level for the Kingsguard. The older dragons are, well, no one knows.”“Cool,” I whispered. I couldn’t wait to find one and ask it if I could ride it. It didn’t even need to be into battle. “Oh, so about that tour?”“Of course young miss, I would never forget a promise I made only a scant few minutes ago. Let me show you the Silver Boot in all of her glory!”What followed was some of the most fun I’d had in weeks, and it was the best kind of fun, the sort where I learned a whole bunch.“This is our gravity engine,” Isaac said as he tapped the side of the big motor in the middle of the ship. “Careful, it’s hot.”“How does it work?” I asked. I didn’t know all that much about motors. My dad had shown me how to boost a battery and change the oil, and that was about where my experience ended. Everything else I knew was from television and books.“I haven’t the faintest clue,” the captain said with good cheer. “I do know that it burns through quite a lot of mana-rich coal, which boils an alchemical reagent that, in turn, flows through a complex array of runes inside the metal casing. That’s what gives us our lift. The boiling reagent gives off heat that pushes out of a cylinder. That also makes a flywheel turn, ah do you know what that is?”“It’s a big heavy wheel that soaks up energy and keeps turning for a while,” I said. “I know what it is, yeah.”“Smart girl. There are belts leading below deck and to the control mechanism for our two propellers, and we have a switch that allows the pilot to change the direction they’re turning in. It breaks quite often, but most of our forward momentum comes from our sails and some rune work. The propellers are merely more convenient than playing with the wind.”I waved goodbye to the two young men working on the engine and they smiled and waved back.“Does working on an airship pay well?” I asked.Isaac made an indistinct gesture in the air as we moved to the front. “For myself and the officers it’s decent. Most of the crew are quite mixed. I’ve got blacksmiths and bakers and farmhands. There aren’t that many classes suited to the work we’re doing here. Still, the pay is better than what they’d get in some little town and they get to travel. It has its perks.”We got to the very front of the ship where the lookout stopped staring ahead with his binoculars to give us a jaunty wave.“This,” Captain Isaac said as he gave the big balistea a proud pat. “Is a Rever mark four. Imported all the way from the Snowlands. Cost me a pretty copper but it’s worth it.”“You don’t use cannons?” I asked.“Cannons? I don’t think placing a heavy lump of steel on my ship, then loading it full of explosives would be a good idea. Besides, cannonballs cannot be aimed with the assistance of marksmanship skills. At least, I haven’t heard of enemy-seeking cannons yet.”“Sir,” the lookout said while pointing to something out ahead. “Grey clouds on the horizon, dead ahead.”“Ah, damnation,” Isaac said. “I’m sorry Miss Broccolli, but perhaps it would be best if you returned to your cabin for now. I wouldn’t want to have to explain to that grenoil gentleman accompanying you why one of his charges had gone overboard.”“Ah, yeah, alright,” I said. I wanted to stay atop the ship, but it wouldn’t do to be impolite and end up dead, or worse, in someone’s way. “Thank you for the tour. Your ship is wonderful!”“It was truly my pleasure.”When I returned to the cabin it was to find Amaryllis swaying lightly in her hammock, one leg over the side and her head leaned forwards until it was almost tucked into her armpit. She was snoring lightly. Orange was rolled up in a ball on her tummy, back to sleep again.I held back a giggle at the ‘chuu chuu’ noises she was making and slid into my own hammock with my book on basic magic. The day so far had been plenty productive, and I looked forward to seeing all sorts of new places later.My first mission had so far been exciting, but it lacked... something to make it truly awesome. I figured it would come eventually, maybe as we finally hit the road and started on the adventure proper.My hammock rocked from side to side, accompanied by my new partner’s ‘chuu-chuuing’ and I tried to imagine what the future could bring. There were dragons to ride, and airships to travel on, and sky pirates to battle. There was magic to learn and awesome skills to discover.I was smiling like a very silly little girl as I refocused on my book. The adventure was underway, but that didn’t mean I could slack off. I had to work hard to make the best of friends and to see all the wonderful places the world had to offer.
Chapter Forty-Five — Upskirt Down
Chapter Forty-Five — Upskirt Down Green Hold was tiny.Or at least, that was the impression I had of the town from what had to be about three hundred meters in the air.From all the way up on the Silver Boot the houses looked like big rectangles and the walls were only a rough outline around the town. The layout reminded me a bit of Threewells, but with many more homes set around a central square. The area around the town was filled with little farms, most of them with homes close to the roads leading into town.“You kids all have your stuff?” Gabriel asked. He was standing right next to the edge of the deck, heels over the side and his weight on the balls of his feet. The crew had removed part of the railing, the spot where the gangplank had been when we arrived. “We can’t come back to ze ship if you forgot anyzing.”I hefted my pack, certain that I hadn’t left anything behind. Amaryllis who was next to me didn’t have anything to begin with, something that I was growing increasingly nervous about. Was she going to buy all of her gear in-town?I set that aside for the moment and raised my hand.“Yeah?” Gabriel asked as he pulled a flask and took a sip from it.“How are we getting down?” I asked.“Did you ever rappel before?” he asked.“I have,” I said. “But there’s usually something to, ah, kick off of. And a mountain.” Not... oh, we had lowered a bit. Still, that was two hundred meters of empty air.A glance over the side-where I had a railing to lean on-showed that a few people in the town below were eagerly looking up to us.“First time for everyzing,” Gabriel said. He secured his flask to his belt and then kicked a rope off the side. It went taut against the metal bar it had been tied to and the grenoil dropped four handles with little pulleys on them on the ground. “You set zem like zis,” he said before expertly doing something with the device. Then he walked off the edge.France gasped, but I had the opportunity to look down and see that he was slowing down his fall with his rappel. It was still fast, and he didn’t have a harness, but he still made it to the ground without going splat.“Well okay then,” I said as I grabbed one of the other devices and waited for the rope to loosen up enough to grab it.“Just like that?” Amaryllis asked.“Do you want to go at the same time?” I asked right back. “We could hold hands on the way down if you’re afraid.”The girl rolled her eyes and, without so much as picking up her own rappel, she walked off the edge.“Amaryllis!” I screamed.“Ah,” Florian said. “She’s a harpy, she’ll be fine.”I looked over the edge and saw that she was, in fact, perfectly fine. Her arms were outstretched and, while she wasn’t flying exactly, she was slowly drifting towards the ground, the long feathers on the ends of her arms twisting this way and that to control her fall.“Oh,” I said. I felt a bit silly after that. “Well, see you guys at the bottom,” I said as I made sure my rope was taut and that my rappel was secured properly. “Bye Captain!” I called out with a wave.Captain Isaac was near the wheel, but he heard me and gave me a parting wave. “We shall see each other again, winds willing,” he called back.I didn’t have a way to say goodbye that sounded cooler than that, so I just hopped off the side.The rappel went taut, then something went very wrong. The device slowed my fall, a little, but not nearly as much as I wanted to. I screamed as the ground reached up to me and suddenly two hundred meters didn’t look that far away.I shot as much stamina into my legs as I could and at the very last moment prepared to jump.I hit the ground feet first.My stamina went from completely full to just shy of empty.The ground cratered.“Zat was a good landing,” Gabriel said from a few feet away. “But next time, don’t rappel wiz a skirt on unless you want to give ze whole town anozer show.”I squeaked and pushed my skirts down, then I stepped out of the crater I had left in the road. “Did you do that on purpose?” I asked him.“Look at your rear? You’re not my type, dry-skin, pretty blue underzings or otherwise” Gabriel said.“Not that!” I said as my anger warred with my embarrassment to warm up my face. I could have died and I was mightily miffed about it.“Don’t get your panties in a knot,” Gabriel said. “I’d have caught ya if you didn’t catch yourself.”I tightened my fists but didn’t have time to give Gabriel what for before a scream from above had me looking up. France was rushing down towards the ground at a breakneck speed. I shifted, ready to jump up and at least try to catch her when she suddenly glowed and slowed down before landing on her feet with both eyes wide open.Gabriel lowered a hand that had been pointing right at the grenoil. “See?” he said.“You can do magic?” I asked.The older grenoil snorted. “Featherfall. In our line of work you learn how to cast it or you learn how to pick up your insides after zey go splat.”“Right,” I said. I made note of that. My anger had faded a little in the time it had taken to watch him slow down France’s fall.“Go see to your partner. Ze fool girl wanted to leave before the sun set. Not zat I care.”“Oh, okay,” I said before turning around and looking for Amaryllis. The harpy girl had landed at some point, because she wasn’t in the skies above. I took the chance to inspect Green Hold from the ground. It was a simple little town, more homes than Threewells, but most of them had mud walls and they were barely more than a floor tall.Just because they were made of mud didn’t mean they were poorly crafted though. Most of the homes were built into neat squares and they had little gardens out back with flowers blooming within. Red roofs all gleamed in the almost-orange light of the waning evening and the air smelled like firewood and supper, unlike the rancid odour that had permeated Port Royal.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.I ended up wandering along the main street until I found an irate Amaryllis waiting before what looked like the town’s inn, arms crossed and talon tapping at the ground. “You finally decided to show up. Good. Let’s go,” she said before bending down and picking up a bag that had a bedroll and tent tied to the top.“We’re leaving already?” I asked. “And where were you hiding that? Do you have an inventory?”“An inventory? I’m not giving you a list of my belongings,” she said. “And yes, obviously we’re leaving now. The sooner we get this over with the better.”I didn’t sigh because that would have been rude, but I certainly felt like sighing. I had kind of hoped that we could become friends but so far that hope had turned into mush.I followed after Amaryllis as she aimed for the town gates.No. No I couldn’t just give up. “I won’t give up.”“You won’t give up what?” the harpy girl asked.“I won’t give up on trying to be your friend, even if sometimes you’re a little rude,” I said.The girl stopped a few steps ahead of me and gave me a look so filled with confusion that my determination to become her friend soon turned into determination not to giggle in her face. “My partner is an idiot,” she said before walking on.“I’m not an idiot. We just think differently,” I said.She huffed as she marched out of the gates, the man on guard duty not even giving us more than a passing look. “Different is right. Your intelligence stat must be in the negatives you’re so different.”“There’s an intelligence stat?” I asked.“And you’re gullible too.” She stopped and looked around, then pulled a tiny compass from an inner pocket of her leather jacket. “North and East,” she said.“You know where the fort is?”“Unlike someone, I purchased a map. You do know what a map is, don’t you?”“Being rude won’t stop me from becoming your friend,” I said, a huge grin splitting my features when Amaryllis turned to glare at me. I only smiled harder.“Tch.” She stomped off along the road, head darting this way and that as we moved out of the area with little farms and into what was almost a forest. Almost, because for every tree there was a deep puddle of brackish water.The bugs must have sensed us and they knew that we were a snack, because soon enough there were swarms of mosquitoes flying our way. I stopped and searched my bag until I found my bug-repelling rune, the one I had purchased in Port Royal. It came with a thin leather strap that made it easy to wear as a bracelet. A bit of mana pushed into it and the bugs coming our way suddenly whooshed back.“Hrm. Not completely useless,” she muttered.“I strive to not be completely useless,” I said as I pulled out a runelight next. It came with a handy strap that went around the head, but it fit around the brim of my cool hat just right. It wasn’t full dark yet, but it was getting dark enough that a bit more light would be appreciated. I pinched the tip of my tongue between my teeth and focused. A second trickle of mana had a cone of light flashing out ahead of us.Health 120/120Stamina 31/125Mana 109/115I made a note to keep an eye on my mana reserves. Maybe I could cycle the bug-repelling rune.Amaryllis snapped her arm to the side and a knife appeared in her hand, a strange leaf-shaped blade that had two tines at the end instead of a point. She glared at it and then the tip lit up like a flashlight.“Neat,” I said.“Even an idiot ought to be able to use a spell like that,” she said.I smiled, happy that she was willing to talk, at least. “You’re a lightning mage, right?”“Thunder mage,” she corrected.I fired a stealthy Insight at her.An irate Thunder Mage, level 9.So, she was three levels ahead of me, which probably meant that she had at least one more class skill. I was willing to bet that she had skills that were way cooler than Cleaning and Cute.Especially Cute.“So, is thunder-aspect mana close to light?” I asked as I scanned the marshes around us. They were surprisingly noisy, with frogs croaking and bugs humming and the occasional splash or gurgle from the water. As the sky darkened even more my paranoia went up a notch.“It’s adjacent, yes,” she said.“So it’s only two steps away from Cleaning magic?”“I do not use that kind of peasant magic,” she huffed.I shook my head at that. Cleaning was useful. I mean, it wasn’t fireball, but it was alright.We reached an area where the road forked and Amaryllis pulled a small map from a side pocket of her backpack. “I think there’s a spot that’s a little dryer up ahead.”“We can set up camp then,” I said. “It’ll be hard to light a fire around here.”“Best not to then. It would attract the slimes.”The what?But I didn’t have time to ask as she kept on moving and I had to jog to follow behind her. As it turned out, she had been right about the dry spot. It was just a more elevated position that overlooked some of the swamp around us, but it was a bit farther from the many little tributaries running down from the east.We set up only one tent, both of us quiet after Amaryllis insisted that we use her superior gear for the night.And then, after flipping a copper and drawing first watch, I was left alone again. It was okay. I was making steady progress. I knew that in no time at all Amaryllis would dislike me a little less!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Friendmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank
Chapter Forty-Six — A Slimey Situation
Chapter Forty-Six — A Slimey Situation “Wake up!”I shifted around, turning my back to the noise that had disturbed me.“Wake up you blasted idiot!” Someone hissed before I got a rough shove against my shoulder.“Huu?” I asked as I looked around and tried to piece things together. It took awhile for the memories to return and for the sleep to wear off. I had gotten first watch, which meant I got to listen to Amaryllis’ cute whistling snores again while hugging my knees in the near-dark.She had told me not to play with any magic because it attracted monsters, so I had basically spent a few hours all alone in the dark with nothing to do. No lights to read by and just the sky to watch. At least so far from any civilised places the skies had been truly spectacular. It was easy to look up to them and just... drift away.Then Amaryllis had relieved me and I got to go to sleep on her surprisingly soft mattress in a tent that I was pretty sure was enchanted to make a person sleep really well. Or maybe I was just really tired.“Wake up you moron!”Thunder boomed.The ground skipped out from under me.I screwed my eyes shut and let out a squeak as any hints of sleepiness fled.The flash faded away as suddenly as it had come and we were left in the dark once more. “My night vision is shot,” Amaryllis said.“What’s going on?” I asked as I scrambled to my feet, bumped against the walls of the tent, then stumbled out into the spot we had chosen to camp in. It was still completely dark out, without even the barest hint of sunlight on the horizon.“Get your gear; leave the tent,” Amaryllis said. “Slimes!”“Slimes?” I asked. Some part of me, still mostly asleep, wanted to flop down and go right back to napping, but an electric buzz startled me and I looked up to see Amaryllis, both wings glowing with static sparks and hair-feathers standing on end.She flung an arm out, her little knife held at the end, and a long forking jolt of lightning shot out and into the marshes.I stared at the creature it hit.The thing was big and bulbous, wobbly, and most of all, dirty. It was as if someone had taken the biggest ice-cream scoop in the world to a bowl of jello, then rolled the ball in some mud and twigs.An unemotional Marsh Slime, level 8.Electric shocks ran across its body and it seemed to wilt on the spot. Then another rolled out of the woods, and another came after it.I rushed to the tent, grabbed my backpack to fling it on, picked up Orange, plopped my hat on, and grabbed my spear. An afterthought had the rune-light at the front come on to illuminate our surroundings.“Oh no,” I said.“We need to make a run for it,” Amaryllis said. “There are too many to kill.”“You were going to kill them?” I asked as I watched the dozens of slimes that had surrounded us as I slept. I couldn’t blame Amaryllis for not noticing them sooner, other than that gurgling sound they made while moving they were hard to spot against the marshy ground. “What if they’re nice?”“Nice? They’re slimes!”“They could be nice slimes?”“All they do is eat things. They don’t even have brains! World smite me, you could pass for one of them.” Amaryllis’ arm shot out and another bolt of sizzling electricity shot out and splattered a tiny, basketball-sized slime that had bounced towards them. “Follow the road north!” she said before running off the little cliff we were on.I followed, leaping off the ground with a burst of stamina that had me overshooting Amaryllis and landing on the path. A flash of my light on the road ahead revealed that it wasn’t quite cleared, with a few slimes blubbering about, but not so many that we couldn’t avoid them.The path towards Green Hold, on the other hand, had far fewer.“South?” I called out, pointing to the easier path.“No, North,” Amaryllis said as she landed and immediately started running that way.I followed, stumbling a bit as I got used to the weight of my pack, but I caught up with a few quick bounces. We avoided the bigger slimes, both of us taking to the air to pass over them even as they sent out little slimy tendrils to try and catch us.I thought we were in the clear when I heard a ‘whump’ and Amaryllis disappeared from my side.My feet dug into the dirt road with a scrape as I stopped and whipped around.Amaryllis was on the ground, electrified hand slapping at a large gooey tentacle wrapped around her face and neck. A huge, bulbous slime gooped out of the nearest tree, still hanging onto Amaryllis as it moved towards her.I ran at her. First trying to pull her away from the monster, but when that didn’t work I slapped a hand against the slime, then winced as it felt as if I had stuck my hand in a pot of hot water. It prickled against my skin and I caught a faint burning odour in the air. “Clean!” I screamed as I fired the quickest cleaning spell I could muster.The tentacle burst apart into motes of light and Amaryllis stumbled onto her knees, gasping.“Here,” I said as I pulled out the trifecta potion I had in my bandoller and pushed it into her hands.The slime grabbed me, a long limb slithering around my waist.“Oh no you don’t,” I said.Mister Menu flashed before me.CleaningRank C — 100%The ability to Clean. You are exceptionally good at tidying up and washing off. Effectiveness of cleaning is marginally increased. You may now use mana to clean things you touch.Eligible for rank up!Rank B costs two (2) Class Points“Yes!” I said.It was a long overdue upgrade, and I still had two more class points to spend. Really, I should have done it a while ago but there had never been a reason until now.CleaningRank B -00%The ability to Clean. You are exceptionally good at tidying up and washing off. Effectiveness of cleaning is marginally increased. You may now use mana to clean things you see.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.Things I could see? I brought my arm up and aimed it at the slime. “Clean!” I’d come up with cooler attack names later.I felt my mana rushing into my hand, then it formed into a tight ball, hundreds of swirling strands of interwoven magic, like a three dimensional kaliedeoscope. The ball burst forwards and slammed into the slime with a dull thud, like a potato canon smacking a brick wall.The slime exploded.I stumbled back, gasping as the bits of slime still on me faded away. That had cost a chunk of mana but it had certainly been worth it.Congratulations! You have caused Marsh Slime, Level 9, to get washed! Bonus Exp was granted for splattering a monster above your level!I sighed, but my relief was cut off as more gurgles came from the forest around us. “Come on, we need to go,” I said as I crouched down next to Amaryllis.“I’m fine,” she said before pushing me off. She got to her feet on her own and shook her head. “It merely caught me by surprise.”“It happens,” I said. “You’ll have to show me those spells of yours some time, they were awesome!”“Yes well, that spell, that was a cleaning spell?”“Yup! I’ve got it to Rank B! Um, I mean, journeyman.”“It was adequate,” Amaryllis said, which set me to beaming. She huffed and turned away. “Let’s keep moving. Marsh slimes are mostly nocturnal. There are still some hours of night left.”We did just that, first jogging along then slowing down to a steady walk after we both stumbled one to many times on the puddle-covered and uneven road. I got to practice my new and improved cleaning spell a few times too. It seemed as if it came with a sort of ingrained knowledge on how to fire it, either as a ball-like projectile or a bigger cone. The latter took a lot of mana, but it was fun to use. Like a flame thrower but for cleanliness.Firing big bursts of cleaning magic at the littler slimes that tried to jump at us was a fair bit of fun, and even Amaryllis joined in, blasting them out of the air with well-aimed shocks and crackling electrical whips.The sky started to lighten to a paler blue and the marshes changed, the slimes receding away and into the swampy waters while birdsong filled the air and all sorts of animals came awake. “We made it,” I said as I stumbled to a stop.I was running on a couple of hours of sleep and had been walking and using magic for the past couple of hours. My batteries were all spent.“We have,” Amaryllis said. “There are some rocks over there. We can take a break. Eat.”I followed her pointing finger to find a big hill with a few stones jutting out of it. It was just off the road a little ways. “Alright,” I said, too tired to voice any other opinions. “You don’t have your pack though. But, we can share the food I have.”She snorted and shook her head as she took off.I checked my notifications, making sure to do so quietly because the last thing I wanted was for Amaryllis to think I was the sort of crazy person that talked to her system menu.Congratulations! You have committed minor genocide! Your kill tally amounts to:Marsh Slime, Level 1 x 4Marsh Slime, Level 2 x 2Marsh Slime, Level 3 x 3Marsh Slime, Level 4 x 1Marsh Slime, Level 5 x 1For refusing to spare the children you have been granted Bonus Exp!“Ah,” I said. “Ah... ah-ah. Ah!”Amaryllis stared at me, pausing halfway up the hill. “Did your last two braincells bounce apart?”“I... ah,” I explained. Then, because words were failing me, I made gestures.“If you need to piss just go behind a bush.” She sniffed. “It’s not exactly luxurious, but this place is already a swamp.”“Ah!” I tried again. There was a sting in my eyes as tears gathered.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cute skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) Class Point“Ahhhh!”“And you’ve lost your mind,” Amaryllis said. She dragged me the rest of the way up the hill, then pushed me down onto a rock. “You sit there and... keep doing... whatever.”“Ah,” I squeaked back.“Right... and thanks. You know, for back there. I’ll pay you back for the trifecta potion.”She moved off to the centre of the hill and I saw her bringing her feathery arm over her head to mask her face from the sunlight.“Th-the slimes,” I said. “Were they sapient? Sentient? Do they have little slime homes and little slime families?”“What? No. They’re made from concentrations of ambient mana. It takes a particular kind of mana to make them. Then they roll around and stick to anything magical they run across, including people. They’re a nuisance.”“Oh, okay,” I said.It still took a while, and maybe a dab at my eyes, to really calm myself down. Knowing that the slimes weren’t people made it... better. Not okay, but better.“We can see the fort from here,” Amaryllis said. “It’s actually quite close. I think the scale on my map is off.”I sniffled, then fired a cleaning spell at my face, which tingled and made me sneeze, but at least it cleared my nose up. “Um. We were sent to map out the fort’s location. Where did you buy the map?”“It’s from the Golden Nest Bank. They’re a Nesting Kingdom institution, can’t blame them for being wrong about misplacing such an ugly building.”I climbed up the hill so that I was next to her and took in the distant form of Fort Frogger. It was a large squarish building some ways away, with a single stubby tower and dull grey walls around it, most of them looked cracked and broken even from afar.And between us and the fort was a good couple of kilometers of swampland.It wasn’t going to be fun getting there.
Chapter Forty-Seven — Mud and Bone
Chapter Forty-Seven — Mud and Bone I could feel my nose wrinkling up and had to stretch my neck back as I sank into the mud until it tickled my chin. It wasn’t too deep, and my hands easily found the bottom, so there was no danger of staying stuck. There was even a lethargic current flowing past that made it... not easy, but possible to move around.“Lower,” Amaryllis hissed right next to me. “Do you want to be found?”I sank just a bit deeper in the mud until it was just short of my lips. Orange, who was tucked into the nape of my neck, walked around so that she was standing right next to my head in the shadow cast by my helmet. Standing on the air to avoid the mud was cheating!The sound of loose-fitting boots clunking past had me freezing on the spot.Amaryllis and I had picked the nearest spot to hide in. There were plenty of bushes and more mud than anyone could want. A great hiding spot, but not a place that I would want to fight in. Getting out would be tricky, which meant that I couldn’t afford to be spotted.The feet thumped closer and soon the noise of footfalls was competing with the thudding of my heart to be the loudest noise around.I saw a pair of boots move past, then another behind that one. They stopped.My heart started beating faster.The boots turned my way and I shut my eyes, almost expecting to feel an attack coming.The renewed thumping of feet had me letting out a held breath. I slowly turned my head and looked in the direction the patrol had moved in. From farther away I could see more than just boots.The group was made up of four grenoil skeletons, each in simplistic armour and carrying an ill-maintained spear and buckler. Glowing undead eyes scanned the marshes and occasionally stopped to stare at a marsh bird or a swaying tree.“Let’s move,” Amaryllis said.Amaryllis looked kind of silly, her white feathers plastered to her head by an entire layer of caked-on mud and her pale features tinted brown by brackish water. I couldn’t imagine it would be fun for her to clean her feathers later, some of them even stayed in the mud as we crawled out of it.“Did you see another patrol?” I asked.“No. It could just be the one,” she said. She didn’t sound so certain of that.The fort was close. So close that I could actually make out the lights lit from within despite the full morning sun. There were people manning the walls, some of them walking around, others standing stock still.I had the impression they weren’t living people.“Did you see their level?” I asked. I had forgotten to use Insight while in the mud.“Between six and eight,” she said. “Not too strong for a normal monster, but powerful for an undead.”“Are undead common around here?” I asked. “I’ve seen some before, but it was in an abandoned town.”Amaryllis eyed me for a moment before looking towards the fort. “No. No it isn’t normal. Let’s get closer to the fort. We might be able to see where they’re coming from. Most of the time undead spawn where there are plenty of bodies and certain types of... unfavourable mana.”“Could it be an undead dungeon or something?” I asked.“Let’s hope not,” she said before skulking forwards. She kept low to the ground, her task made easier by the lack of backpack or any gear. I still hadn’t gotten a straight answer out of her about that.We kept as close to the few patches of dead trees as we could. Amaryllis even touched a few of them with a talon and frowned at them. We saw another patrol, just three grenoil skeletons this time, and they were heading away from us. We waited for them to get out of the area before moving on.Soon we were before Fort Frogger, hiding near the lip of a hill with just the tops of our heads sticking out to take in the entrance of the fortress. The large wooden doors were open, one of them broken and ripped free of its huge metal hinges. The inner courtyard was filled with the undead, mostly grenoil skeletons, but a few that looked like strange horses with human upper bodies. Centaurs?Two larger skeletons, both in plate armour and holding up Broccoli-sized swords were waiting at the gate.A Skeleton Knight, level ?.“I can’t even see their level,” I said.Amaryllis sighed. “Ten. They’ve hit their evolution level, the undead can’t really go beyond that, not without some very unusual circumstances.”“Evolution?” I asked.She turned to me. “You really don’t know anything, do you?” she asked.I shrugged before lowering myself down. The little hill we were on was surrounded by a good number of trees, so I wasn’t too afraid of getting spotted by a passing patrol. Still, I had yet to remove the layer of mud that covered me. It was good camouflage.“I’m going to go say hi,” I said.“What?” Amaryllis asked.“Look, our mission is to scout the region, right? We’ve sort of done that. Now we just need to see inside the fort, but that can’t happen if we have to fight our way in. You’re very strong, I’m sure you could take the two skeleton knights at the door. But then there are a whole bunch more inside. So we try the nice way.”“The nice way? Is that what they call suicide where you’re from?” Amaryllis asked.I figured she was being rhetorical. And rude. Mostly rude. “Let me try? If it doesn’t work then we go back to Green Hold and tell Gabriel and that’s that.”Amaryllis glared at me, looked over the hill at the fort again, then back at me. “Are your stats back up to full?”This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.Health 120/120Stamina 79/125Mana 115/115“Most of them, yeah,” I said. “My stamina is a little low, but it’s not too bad.” I took Orange off my shoulder and handed the kitten over to Amaryllis.She took the kitty in both taloned hands with surprising care. Orange didn’t even protest at the contact.Then I shucked off my backpack and searched within. I found a potion and refilled the pocket that had held the trifecta potion I had given Amaryllis. “Okay. Can you watch over my bag? It’s not too heavy.”“I can,” she said. “If this goes south and you die, I’m keeping the cat.”I grinned at her, then scritched Orange behind the ear where she liked it best. “She likes you, so it’s okay. You can have my stuff too, I guess.”“Idiot. Do try not to die. I might be stuck with an even bigger fool next time.”I grinned so hard my cheeks hurt. She did care!I fired a cleaning spell at myself and felt all the mud and gunk rolling off me like water off a hot pan, then I poked Amaryllis and did the same for her. She shivered as my magic washed over her, and even let out a little ‘oh’ when it was past. “See you soon!”The knights spotted me before I was even halfway to them, but other than shifting so that their swords were in a sort of guard position, they didn’t really react. I stopped a dozen meters away from them and waved. “Um, hello! My name is Broccoli Bunch, I’m with the Exploration Guild. I was hoping to talk to your leader. Or your boss, I guess. Um... rarr?”The skeleton knights paused, then as one they turned and stepped to the side, leaving the path into the fort’s courtyard open.“Is that an invitation to go in?” I asked.I didn’t even get a ‘rarr’ in response.“Can I go get my friend?” I asked.The skeletons didn’t seem to mind. Or if they did, I couldn’t tell from their complete lack of motion. I waved at the hill, and soon enough a very cautious Amaryllis stepped out from over the edge and walked over to me, eyeing the skeletons the entire time. “What did they say?” she asked when she came closer.“I don’t know. I can’t speak skeleton.”“Skeleton isn’t a language,” she said.The skeletons shifted and one of them let out a low ‘rraarrg.’ I pointed at it, my point obviously made.I wanted to grab Amaryllis’ hand to pull her in—it wouldn’t do to leave the leader of the skeleton’s waiting—but didn’t know if it was okay to touch her feathery arms, and her taloned hand looked hard to hold. So instead I just pouted at her and gestured inside.She sighed, but followed after me as I moved in.There were skeletons in the courtyard, both grenoil and the strange four-legged ones. They were too slight to be actual half-horse half-humans, though maybe centaurs were just small-boned. I made a note to ask Amaryllis about them later.No one stopped us as we reached the entrance of the fort proper. It was a large, squarish building, made of big stones that looked like they had been fused together, probably by some sort of fancy earth-magic. The tower we had been seeing for a while stuck out of the middle; small slit-like windows all around probably gave anyone within a spectacular view of the area.I paused before the door and checked myself out as best I could, running fingers through my hair, dusting off my gambeson a bit and making sure that my skirt was on straight.“What are you doing?” Amaryllis asked. She was switching between looking at me, and at the listless skeletons around us.“I’m making sure that I make a good first impression. People judge you a lot based on how they meet you for the first time, even though judging people like that is wrong. But if I want to make lots of friends then I need to put my best foot forwards.”She stared at me for a moment, then raked her talons through her own hair-feathers, and plucked a few crooked feathers out of her arms.I was grinning as I knocked. Five quick taps of shave and a haircut boomed out.We waited, both of us shifting uncomfortably while my knock echoed within the building. Footsteps sounded out, low and heavy as if something big was approaching. As it came closer I could just barely make out the clatter of something like nails scratching against wood in a frenzy.The door opened with a whoosh.I stared at the rather plain man within. Sure, he was a ghoulish-looking man with glowing blue eyes behind a pair of spectacles, but he was wearing a cardigan over a sweater-vest and had big fluffy loafers on. Next to him was a dog.Most of a dog.A dog skeleton. One the size of a small car.It stared at us, tail helicoptering through the air so fast I could feel the wind from where I stood. When the tip hit the ground it cut thin grooves into the stone floor.“Yes?” the man asked.“Ah, hi!” I said. “My name is Broccoli Bunch! Let’s be friends!”Amaryllis smacked me behind the head.“Are you the... lord of this estate?” she asked, voice far haughtier than it had been just a few minutes ago.“And if I am?” the man asked. He stood taller, and his big puppy stopped shaking with repressed happiness. I fired off two quick Insights while he stared down Amaryllis.An Undead Human Bone Setter, level ??.A Bone Hound of the Long Slumber, level ???.I wasn’t sure what to do, the tension was rising and I could literally feel the danger in the air. I didn’t know if it was mana leaking out of the two near me or just bad vibes, either way it had to stop, and I knew just the thing!“Do you like tea?” I asked.
Chapter Forty-Eight — A Good Boy
Chapter Forty-Eight — A Good Boy I stared at the undead lord of the tower and his glowing blue eyes stared right back.The tension in the air grew thicker.The undead dog let out a long, low growl that made the ground vibrate underfoot.Then the man placed a hand on the dog’s snout without even looking, and it stopped. “What kind of tea?” he asked.“Oh, I have milk-thistle which is great for the liver, chamomile for relaxing, and I even have some honey!” I said. “Amaryllis, where’s my backpack?”“I stored it,” the girl next to me said. “I thought you wouldn’t need it, but I can retrieve it in a moment.”“O-kay?” I asked.Stored? Was there an inventory system all along and I had been lugging things around despite it all this time? Why couldn’t I get a handy tutorial that explained all of these things?“Well, I suppose some tea wouldn’t hurt. We’ll need a pot to boil the water,” the man said.“I have a kettle in my pack,” I said. “Just one cup though, I’m afraid.”The man looked at me, eyeing my most earnest smile (it was extra earnest because I had nothing to hide!) and then he looked over to Amaryllis and sighed. “Very well. Come on in. Don’t mind Throat Ripper here, he’s a good boy.”The man stepped back to allow us to enter the dark halls of his fortress. His slippers made swishy sounds as he walked towards a room just past the entranceway. It was a lounge area, with a nice carpet. and a single chair next to a table that stood beneath a pretty chandelier.“Chairs, two of them,” he said to a skeleton in a frumpy suit in one corner. The skeleton turned around, bare feet clickety-clacking as he walked off, presumably to get some chairs.I walked in before Amaryllis, head twisting this way and that to take in the entire room. The fort wasn’t built to be pretty, that much was plainly obvious, but some efforts had been made to make it feel homelier. Banners had been added to the bare stone walls and plinths with simple vases stood here and there, usually close to paintings.I approached one painting and took in the scene. It was a big skeleton dog, teeth bloody as it smiled towards the viewer while standing atop a pile of furry corpses.“Do you like it?” the man asked. His voice was flat, but I had the impression the question meant a lot to him.“Is that Throat Ripper?” I asked. The dog’s head perked up at the sound of his name. “It’s a very evocative image. I wish it was over a more peaceful scene though. Maybe a nice field of flowers or something? This is really well made though, the proportion and perspective are nice.”“Bah, everyone’s a critic,” he said, but I had the impression he was pleased by the answer.“It’s horrific,” Amaryllis said. “And I’ve seen better from a drunk amateur in Farseeing.”“We can’t all measure up, I suppose,” the man said, his voice returning to a flat drawl.I tried giving Amaryllis a look, but it didn’t seem to catch on. “So, we haven’t introduced each other yet,” I said. “I’m Broccoli Bunch!”“I’m Amaryllis Albatross. Pleasure.”The man crossed his arms, then nodded. “I’m Gunther. No last name, I’m afraid.”Amaryllis snorted at that, earning her a glare from Gunther. I kicked her shin with the side of my shoe. Why was she being so antagonistic to the nice undead man?“You said the puppy is called Throat Ripper?” I asked.Gunther shifted, chest puffing out a bit. “Yes. This is Throat Ripper the Marrow Eater. Just Throat Ripper is fine. He’s quite nice.”“Does he like scritches? Oh! Wait, I have a pet too! Her name is Orange and she’s the best kitten... Amaryllis, where’s Orange?”“She’s here,” Amaryllis said as she lowered the front of her jacket over her chest a little. It revealed Orange’s fluffy head.“You carry your pet around with you?” Gunther asked. “In such dangerous places?”“Orange is a spirit kitten,” I said as I patted her on the head. She gave me a look and nestled deeper into Amaryllis’ chest. “I don’t know what can hurt her, but I can unsummon her if things get dangerous.”“Ah, I see. That’s quite clever. Incidentally, you may pet Throat Ripper. He’s quite fond of being scratched over his sternum.”I gasped and moved closer to Throat Ripper and raised my arm up close to his face to present my fist. Usually dogs were smaller than me, but it was okay. He looked at my hand, then nudged it towards the side of his head. What followed was a whole minute of me making cutesy noises at the big puppy until he crashed to the ground hard enough that the entire fort shook, and presented where his tummy would be if he had any flesh.I didn’t even need to get on my knees to scratch him!Two skeletons ambled into the room hefting big chairs that they placed around the table before they moved off to stand by the wall. “Can I sit next to Throat Ripper?” I asked.“I don’t mind,” Gunther said. He was smiling now. I think being friendly with his puppy made him like us a little more.We sat around the table and I brushed my hands over my skirt to clean them off. I wasn’t sure if using cleaning magic around a bunch of friendly undead was a good idea. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened to Bonesy. “My stuff?” I asked Amaryllis.She brought her hands up, revealing a ring around the base of one talon. With a deft flick she did something with the ring and with a poof, a pen and a piece of paper appeared on the table.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.I stared. So did Gunther, but he didn’t look surprised at all.Amaryllis picked up the pen which looked like it had been shaped to be held by taloned hands and scribbled something on the page. Then she tapped both to the ring, and they poofed away. She stretched her arm out to the side, and a moment later my pack poofed into existence on the ground.“Wow! That was great! What did you do?” I asked.“Are you not from a city?” Gunther asked.“Not one that has magic rings like that,” I said as I stood up to fetch things out of my pack. The kettle came out and was placed on the table next to a stack of cups brought in by the skeletons who had left once again.“It’s a banking ring,” Amaryllis explained. “For a small transaction fee you can store things at a bank in any proper city. You can send a mana burst through the ring requesting pen and paper, which of course is free. Then you request whatever it is you want withdrawn from your storage and they’ll teleport it to your ring. They sell certain items too, but the mark-up is exorbitant.”“So it’s not like a dimensional storage pocket linked to your ring, just a sort of teleportation beacon?” I asked. It still sounded awesome, but not as great as a personal pocket dimension.“What? Dimensional storage? That’s not possible,” Amaryllis said.I shrugged as I poured water into the kettle and then added some herbs to it.“Actually,’ Gunther said. “It might be possible. Dungeons certainly don’t care about things such as limited spaces. If you could learn how that functions and tie it to an item... I suspect you would make a killing.”Amaryllis scoffed. “Impossible. And the only killing that would happen is your own when the banks find out you’re cutting into their margins.”I poured out three cups of tea, making sure not to spill any, then looked in my bag, and found some bread and a bit of cheese I had bought for the trip. It wasn’t the best of either, with the bread going hard and the cheese being a bit strong, but it was better than nothing. “Alrighty,” I said as I placed my jar of honey in the middle of the table.I took a sip of my tea, and licked my lips as I savoured the taste. It was really quite good. Amaryllis, after a bit of fumbling to grab her cup with her talons seemed to think so too, and Gunther made an appreciative noise.“So, what brings you girls to this swampy backwater?” Gunther asked as he lowered his cup and took a piece of cheese to nibble on.“We’re with the Exploration Guild,” I said. “We’re both new, so they sent us here to map the area around the fort.”“I see,” Gunther said.“An area that belongs to Deepmarsh,” Amaryllis said.“If they want it back, they have but to ask,” Gunther said. “But seeing as this area has been unoccupied for some years I don’t think that is likely.”“How did you come to live here?” I asked.Gunther looked at me over the rim of his cup. “It’s quiet. I don’t mind the wildlife, and the nearest people are a day’s walk away.”“That must be so lonely. You would need so many hobbies to pass the time,” I said“I have Throat Ripper,” Gunther said before patting the big dog on the head. The creature had laid itself down on the ground next to him.“You must be very close then,” I said.Gunther paused, cup held halfway to the table for a long time before he looked up and gave me a wry smile. “Throaty here is why I am the way that I am. When he passed... I couldn’t accept that. So I embarked on a self-imposed quest to correct what I saw as a cruelty laid down upon me by the world itself.”“What did you do?” I asked.“Oh, nothing too extreme. I was once a well-regarded arts dealer in Cinderrun. I gave all that up in order to change my class and become the seed of what I am now. It allowed me to bring back my one true companion, even if it meant cutting ties with neighbours and... well, I didn’t truly have any friends, or family that I cared for.”Throat Ripper stood up and booped his master in the side with his head.“And so we set to travelling the world. Unfortunately any class with a penchant for undeath is generally poorly regarded. Either by superstitious fools or those who know what death mana can do in a region if left there too long. We go from place to place, finding quiet little areas to settle down in for a decade or so before moving on. We have only been in this fort for a year and change. The skeletons you see around us are surprisingly easy to find. Throat Ripper has a knack for digging them up.”“You poor thing,” I said. I pulled the collar of my blouse out from behind my gambeson and dabbed at my eyes with it. “I’m so sorry that people are mean to you. But sacrificing everything to bring a friend back is... it’s beautiful.”“I... thank you?” Gunther said. He looked a bit uncomfortable, which I guess was normal after sharing such an intimate story. “You mentioned that you were here to scout out the region?”“Yeah. We’re supposed to map the area around the fort, and explore it a little. We won’t do that, of course. The exploring the fort bit, I mean. It would be way too rude to just trample around your home. But if you don’t mind we’d like to see what’s around and maybe map that out. Is there a way to do that without bothering your skeletons?”“You don’t mind the skeletons’ presence?” Gunther asked.“Should I?” I asked right back.Amaryllis covered her face with her hands. “My partner is an idiot, and yet the world conspires to keep her alive,” she said.
* * *
Chapter Forty-Nine — Rift
Chapter Forty-Nine — Rift I spent some time cleaning out my kettle with a cloth and setting everything away in my pack. It was just me and Gunther on the first floor of the fort. Amaryllis had left with Throat Ripper to go to the top of the tower to draw a map of the region, something that Gunther didn’t seem to mind at all.Gunther stayed in his seat and watched me work. It wasn’t an awkward silence; we had shared a meal and some tea together, which meant we were more than halfway to being friends already, and a little undeathiness didn’t bother me at all.“You never said where you were from,” Gunther said. It was a question, but without the tone of one. I think he wanted to make it easy for me to back out if it was awkward to answer.“I’m from Earth,” I said. “A place called Canada. It’s very cold.”“Interesting,” he said. “Which dungeon did you appear with?”I paused mid-motion. “Eh?”“You’re not from Dirt, are you?” He gestured my way with a still steaming teacup. “I couldn’t pin it at first, but you’re not from this world.”“How did you know?” I asked as I stood up. I... didn’t know exactly what to do. Fighting was out of the question, Gunther was a friend, or had the makings of one, and denying it was pointless when it was the truth. Still, of all the things I didn’t know, how people treated someone from another realm was... well it was somewhere in the big pile of unknowns.Gunther coughed. “Every sentence I just spoke was in a different language and you didn’t bat an eye. I don’t doubt that even someone your age could speak four tongues fluently, but I do think that most would be curious about the switches.”“You... what?”“You didn’t even notice? Interesting. There’s a Skill called Tongues that at the expert rank does something similar. Though it’s an advanced skill, and a difficult one to acquire. I don’t have it, I learned to speak a few languages the hard way, but people like you, Riftwalkers, the rumours all agree that you have the gift on arriving here.”“Wait, there are more people like me?” I asked.Gunther shrugged his shoulders. “One for nearly every new dungeon. Not always people. Those that can speak usually talk of some difficult or impossible quest. Most go on to live rather mundane lives. I’ve heard of strange and unique animals and creatures appearing next to new dungeons as well, so perhaps it is not just the sapient who are summoned.”“Whoa,” I said. “Ah, I don’t know what that means for me though.”Gunther hummed and took a long sip from his cup. “Nothing, I suspect. You’re not the first, you’re unlikely to be the last. The world might bless you or it might not. I know little more than rumours, truly. Even if a new dungeon appears every day, they appear so far apart and in such inhospitable locations that it is unlikely that most will meet someone like you.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, thanks for telling me, I guess.”He nodded over his cup. “I was merely curious. I have lots of time to wonder over things.”I wanted to ask more, but Amaryllis and Throat Ripper both returned, the dog with a clatter of boney paws across the stone ground. “We’re done,” Amaryllis said as she waved a rolled up sheet around.“Oh, good work Amaryllis!” I said.She scoffed. “Don’t praise me for drawing something so simple.” She shook her head. “We should be off soon, we’ve spent a fair deal of time here. We need to get back to Green Hold.”“In that case,” Gunther said as he stood up. “I’ll escort you ladies to the door.”“Thank you so much for your hospitality, Mister Gunther and Mister Throat Ripper. I’ll cherish the memories. And I do hope we meet again.”“It was nothing. A welcome distraction, in fact. And you, at least, were a welcome and interesting guest,” Gunther said.Amaryllis snorted and crossed her wings at that. “This could have been worse,” she said.Gunther, true to his word, escorted us all the way to the door. “Good bye, big boy,” I said to Throat Ripper before giving him a pat. Gunther only got a handshake because he was an older man and those were serious people that you weren’t supposed to hug. “We’ll see each other again!” I declared.“Good bye, miss Bunch,” he said. “And you as well, miss Albatross.”We left by skipping out the front gate.Well, I skipped. Amaryllis walked like the boring no-fun person she was.After taking our bearings for a moment, we aimed southwards along a well-trodden dirt path and started heading out. I soon stopped skipping, because even with my awesome calves bouncing around so much was taking a toll and I needed to even out my breathing if I wanted to be able to talk while walking.“That went well,” I said.“I suppose it did. A little unorthodox, but the results speak for themselves,” Amaryllis said. “Is walking up to strangers and threats and talking to them your solution to every problem?” she asked.“Pretty much, yeah,” I said. “I was raised to be as nice to people as I want them to be to me. You know, do nice things for your neighbour and they’ll help you out in turn.”Amaryllis made a strange trilling noise, almost like a hum but more... birdlike. “That wouldn’t fly where I’m from.”I had to restrain myself to stop from skipping again. This was my chance to dig into Amaryllis’ past and learn all about her. If I knew more about her then I could become an even better friend. I was already breaking through her antisocial walls! “You’re from the Nesting Kingdom, right?” I asked.“Most Harpies are. It’s our race's birthplace.”“Birthplace?” I repeated.Amaryllis sighed. “You really do need an education. It’s a wonder you know how to read at all.”“Sorry. Where I’m from it’s pretty much just humans all the way.”Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.“Ah,” she said as if she understood, though I kind of doubted that. Unless knowledge of riftwalkers was more common than Gunther had suggested. “Well, regardless. If we do end up staying partners in the future, then I’ll have to make sure you read at least the basic history texts.”A smile burst onto my face and I grabbed Amaryllis in a side hug that had her squawking. “You do want to be friends!”“Not if you don’t unhand me right this moment, you damnable ape!” she screamed.A few skeletons on a patrol nearby turned towards us and we both froze. Then they kept on trudging by without so much as a ‘rarr.’“Sorry,” I said. “Um, change of topic then. What was it like in the Nesting Kingdom? Are you some sort of big shot?”“I’m the third daughter of the Albatross family,” she said.“So... you have two big siblings?” I asked. That answer had been sort of strange.Amaryllis stared to the skies. “You know nothing. And to think I suspected you were a spy.”“I wish I was a spy,” I said. “It sounds so cool.” I put on my suavest voice. “The name is Bunch. Broccoli Bunch.”“You would make a horrible spy,” she said. “Unless this is all an act, in which case you’re being paid far too well to spy on someone like me.”“Was that an insult?” I asked.“You can assume that when I’m talking about your qualities it is in an insulting manner, yes.” She smiled as she said it though, and I didn’t feel any sting. “To get back to your earlier questions, no, I’m not important. My eldest sister Clementine is set to inherit everything. Which will make her a member of the ruling council of the entire kingdom in a few decades. My second eldest sister, Rosaline, has begun to run the family shipyards and she’s quite talented at it.”I recalled her mentioning something about Nesting Kingdom airships being the best, and her family being big in that industry, so Rosaline’s position had to be important. “And what about you?”“I’m the spare.”We walked a little bit more in a silence that grew increasingly uncomfortable. “What do you mean?”“Don’t get emotional on my account,” she said. “Spare me your pity. I merely mean that I was trained from birth to replace either one of my sisters if the need ever, in some nightmarish circumstance, arose and one of them needed to be replaced. The spare. Then I turned sixteen and I was let loose, so to speak. My sisters are both in good health, they’re wonderful people, in fact, and there’s no need for any sort of drastic measure. So I was told to just... mind my own business.”“Is that why you joined the Exploration Guild?” I asked.“Well, if I’m going to make my family proud it won’t be by sitting pretty in a mansion,” she said.I really wanted to hug her and tell her that she wasn’t just a spare or something like that, but we weren’t quite close enough for that just yet. Instead I made sure to walk close by her side so that she knew that she wasn’t alone.I was looking for something more to say when Amaryllis broke the silence. “Do you really not have magic rings where you come from? I thought they were common with humans, especially since you have fingers.” She brought her hand up to demonstrate the lack of fingers.“Ah, well,” I said. I wasn’t quite ready to tell the whole world that I wasn’t from this place. “We had some. They were called mood rings. They told people how you were feeling and stuff. But mine were useless. All they said was that I was happy all the time.”“That does sound useless,” she said.I suspected that if she wore one it would be a nice irritated orange most of the time, but I didn’t say as much. There was a layer of sadness under her prickly exterior, and I suspected that deeper still there was a core of niceness that was just well-buried. I would need to dig for it if I wanted her to become an even better friend.“Do you have any neat magic trinkets?” I asked.“I have plenty of them, though I wouldn’t call them mere trinkets,” Amaryllis said. “You have a few yourself, that kettle and that collar you’re wearing.”“Oh, they both came from a dungeon,” I said. “I think I got really lucky.”“Lucky that you survived?” she asked wryly.“Yeah. I really wasn’t as ready as I should have been for that one. But it’s done now.”“I’ll buy that collar off of you,” she said.I wrapped my hands around my neck. Sure, it was really ugly, but it would mean losing Orange. “No way,” I said.Amaryllis made that trilling noise again and shook her head.We were leaving the area around the fort now, our trek so far having been mostly downhill since the fort was built at the end of a chain of hillocks, probably for the better view they offered. I couldn’t imagine an army fighting around the fort, not with the amount of mud and swampland all around.There was a small stone bridge ahead that ran over a river. It wasn’t a very deep river, but judging by the marks left on the banks it was fairly dry at the moment. I didn’t want to imagine what the wet seasons around the area were like if this was a dry spell. The trees around us seemed a little parched though, so maybe some rain wouldn’t hurt.We were crossing the bridge, Amaryllis answering inane questions about growing up as a harpy, when the shadows of the deadened trees shifted.Three creatures stepped out before us. They were tall, horse like beings covered in loose clothes that draped back over their long bodies and over their more human-like torsos. Not horses, I realized as I looked at them, deer.“Cervids? Amaryllis asked.She looked over her shoulder and I did the same. There were three more of them.All six were armed, and I didn’t like the looks they were giving us.
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Chapter Fifty — Ambush
Chapter Fifty — Ambush “Drop all of your weapons and equipment and get onto your knees,” the deer-person (Cervid, Amaryllis had called them) in the middle of the pack before us said.“This isn’t good,” Amaryllis said. Her knife-wand slid into her hand from somewhere and began to crackle with an electric hum. “Cover the rear,” she said.I nodded and spun around, my backpack coming off to be tossed to the side as I pulled my shovel off my pack and held it before me. “Insight,” I muttered.A confident Cervid Lancer, level ?.A confident Cervid Runner, level ??.A bored Cervid Plains Speaker, level ?.“They’re pretty strong,” I said. That had just been the three that snuck up behind us. I was willing to bet the leader was even stronger.“We can take them,” Amaryllis said, her voice brimming with confidence that I didn’t doubt for a moment was fake. “It’s just three on six.”I wondered what she meant for a moment before I saw Orange wriggle out from her shirt to come padding through the air. She stood floating at shoulder height next to me.Licking my lips, I stepped up towards the nearest group of deer people and raised my voice so that they could all hear. “Hey everyone. My name is Broccoli. My friend and I were just travelling by here. If this is your bridge we apologies.”“Five, Six, you’re on the secondary target. Two, Three, Four, you’re with me on the primary,” the one I suspected was the leader said.Judging by the way the cervids shifted, the numbers were their names. Or at least, code names. Most of them were wearing helmets of one sort or another, and all of them had padded clothes on, like my gambeson but stretched out over their entire bodies. No markings that I could tell except for thin orange lines on their shoulders. Their equipment looked uniform, all made of the same materials and with the same cut.Were these soldiers?“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “You should run. It’s me they’re after.”“No,” I said. That wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t abandon friends, especially not when they were about to be attacked by some bandits or something.“Break!” the leader said, and that ended any hope that we could have a civil discussion.Amaryllis was the first to act, her knife hand stabbing at the air even as a thunderous boom sounded out and a pillar of bluish light as thick around as my wrist shot out and hit one of the deer folk.He screamed as his body convulsed and his charge turned into an ungainly flop to the ground.I didn’t have time to feel pity for him.Two of the deer people rushed straight at me. One with bare hands, the other with a long spear. The Lancer and Plains Speaker.I froze for just a moment, the cracking of their hooves on the stone bridge like machine gun fire in my ears and the focus in what I could see of their eyes in the slits of their helmets rooting me on the spot.Then Orange collided with the Lancer’s face and his spear slid past me, cutting a hot line into my sides as it caught on the edge of my gambeson.I screamed and did the first thing that I could think of. I jumped.The Plains Speaker looked up to me in time to win a foot to the face. I used him as a springboard to land on the hip-high stone railing of the bridge.This wasn’t some fight in a dungeon where the enemies were only mostly real. This was dangerous, truly dangerous.Amaryllis was ducking and weaving around a pair of spears trying to hit her, sparks flying out of her talons and skittering across the skin of her enemies. She was taking them four on one and, somehow, was holding her ground.One of the cervids was a mage of some sort, throwing translucent shields around that took Amaryllis’ attacks without so much as a shudder. “Orange, help her!” I screamed.I didn’t want to fight, I didn’t want to hurt people. I didn’t want to be attacked. And I especially didn’t want to fail a friend.I swallowed and tightened my grip on my spade.The Lancer spun around and his spear darted towards me. I batted it aside, jumped off the railing so that I was right up in front of him, then I fired a blast of cleaning magic right in his face. He stumbled back, which gave me all the time I needed to hop up so that I was a bit above him. I came down with my entire weight swinging the head of my spade down on his helmet.The ‘bong’ of steel meeting steel was like music.The Cervid Lancer said some rude things as he took a step back.I didn’t have time to follow up as the Plains Speaker flung his arms out at me, a net opening wide in the air between us.Eyes widening, I flung my spade at the net and, fortunately, slowed it down enough that I was able to side-step it.The Lancer shifted his helmet back in place with one hand and looked ready for more.And now I was without a weapon.I jumped, flying over the Plains Speaker.He raised both hands to catch me but I brought one arm up and pointed it at his face. “Fireball!” I screamed.The Plains Speaker shielded his face.No fireballs happened.I did get to land on the opposite railing without any issue though. My spear was next to my backpack, but I didn’t have time to grab it. Instead I pressed both feet against the rail and shot backwards as hard and fast as I could, my legs springing out to trail behind me.I crashed into the Plains Speaker shoulder-first.The breath escaped from his lungs with an ‘oomph’ and he stumbled backwards until he was pressed up against the rails.The Lancer had moved out of the way and was stabbing for me again. I don’t know how I avoided the stab, it was all a blur of scrambling limbs to try and not get poked by the shining tip of his spear.This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.I grabbed the end of the lance just behind the metal spike at its end and, with my entire weight behind it, swung it around and into the Plains Speaker’s side.The Plains Speaker yowled as his partner’s spear cut through his cloth armour. The Lancer yanked it back and out of my grip, but the damage was done.I froze for a moment as blood spurted out of the wound and onto my hands.It was hot.The Lancer’s foot kicked out and I coughed as a steel-shod hoof buried itself in my side.I crashed to the ground. Rocks dug into my palms and knees as I tried to gather my breath and fight through the pain.A shadow moved above me. The Lancer, his spear raised up to strike.I rolled backwards, a move that I hadn’t done since gym class some time ago. I was soon under the Lancer, on my back with my legs above me.My stamina dropped to near-empty. “Meanie!” I screamed as both feet crashed into his chest in what would have been the strongest jump I ever made, were I standing up.The Lancer went flying.He was lighter than I would have thought, barely heavier than I was when wearing my full pack and gear.The last I saw of him were flailing limbs as he went over the railing and splashed into the water.No ‘ding’ that announced that I had killed anyone. Good.I was panting and rolling onto my feet when a hoof rammed into my side and sent my rolling across the bridge. “Ah!” I tried to scream, but my lungs hurt too much.With tears in my eyes I looked up to find the Plains Speaker walking up to me. He was favouring his injured side and had taken off his helmet. It was laying off on the ground some feet away.His expression wasn’t pretty. “Filthy human scum,” he spat out before lashing out with another kick.I couldn't do much to stop this one either except to curl into a ball around the impact to my stomach and try to keep my lunch inside as pain roiled across my chest.“Making me look like an-” he began, then stopped.Amaryllis screamed.We both looked over to see her pinned to the ground, the long shaft of a spear through her thigh.“No,” I said.“Hah, see what happens when-” the Plains Speaker began to say as he turned back to me.I wasn’t where he had left me.My shaking hand clenched the edge of the helmet he dropped.The cervid turned around just as I swung with every last bit of strength I had left in me. His helmet caught him full in the side of the face.I saw a tooth fly.“Don’t!” I said.I swung in the other direction and caught him in the forehead.“Hurt.”This time the point of the helmet caught him across his deer-like nose. It crunched.“My.”He was falling back, eyes watery and wide, blood spurting out of his nose as he exhalled. I couldn’t reach his face anymore. I let my hand fall into the helmet, wearing it like an oversized glove as I pushed what little stamina I had left into a forward lunge.“Friends!”My wrist snapped.I cried out and pulled my hand back to my chest. The helmet, with its pointy edges, stayed stuck in the Cervid’s chest armour.I was breathing in gasps as I cradled a wrist that wasn’t bending the right way.The four remaining Cervids were moving closer. One had Amaryllis bound and unconscious on his back.“Kill her?” One of them asked.“No,” the leader said. “She’s a witness. Where’s Five?One of them, the mage, snorted. “Went over the edge. He’s swimming to shore.”The leader looked over the side of the bridge and sighed. “Against a level six. Sad. Four, knock her out. Two, give Five a healing potion.”I watched as one of them raised a wooden wand my way. Light gathered at the end of it.I tried to jump but my legs only wobbled.The ball of light crashed into my chest and sent me flying back.I wished that the world went black, that I would fade into the abyss of unconsciousness. No such luck. I writhed on the ground, tears streaming and teeth grit against the pain. I saw the Plains Speaker, looking the worse for wear, stopping above me.His hoof came down and planted itself on my leg and twisted.“Six!” the leader called back over my scream. “We’re going. Leave her.”“Tch,” Six, the Plains Speaker said.He spat on me and walked away with a limp.I heard them all moving off, five sets of hooves clacking across the bridge. They were joined by the lancer I had thrown off the edge.Then their voices faded away into the distance. It didn’t matter to me.My hand, my left hand that still shook, reached into my bandoleer. Fingers scrapped across broken glass as I pulled out my broken trifecta potion. The remains had leaked out.I flung the glass aside with a cry.My backpack was still there. Someone had kicked it, but it was otherwise untouched. They weren’t bandits here for our stuff.I crawled to it.Health 31/120Stamina 02/125Mana 79/115I wasn’t bleeding, not much that I could tell, but I was hurting all over. I didn’t want to wait and see if I would heal over time.Reaching my pack was hard, looking through it was harder.Then Orange came closer and I saw the kitty climb into the backpack. She came out with a potion between her teeth.“Thanks,” I said. The cork came off. I downed it in one swallow. It was surprisingly sweet.Health 37/120Stamina 02/125Mana 79/115My health was ticking upwars, a point every few seconds. I found a second potion and drank it too.The pain left, but it was slow. A soothing warmth that banished the hurt.I sat against the side of the bridge and waited for my health to climb back to full. And in the meantime, I allowed myself to cry.
* * *
Chapter Fifty-One — Fetching Help
Chapter Fifty-One — Fetching Help “Gosh... Darn it,” I swore as the tracks in the ground just sort of stopped. Between one muddy step and the next there wasn’t so much as a trace of the six sets of hoofprints left.My left fist tightened, my right... sort of flopped uselessly and sent a nauseating wave of pain through my entire body.I carefully held my broken wrist and turned back to stare at the bridge, still well in sight.The cervids had truly gotten away.Not that there was much I could do even if I caught up. I didn’t doubt for a moment that they had been holding back. Their leader wanted to leave behind a witness. I couldn’t quite piece together the why of it. It didn’t make sense.I looked back and forth from the bridge to the path they might have taken.It felt as if someone were grabbing my heart and squeezing, as if something were trying to crush my lungs in my chest and, for a long moment, I had a hard time even breathing. This wasn’t leaving a potential friend because our paths split. This was losing a friend because someone had taken her away from me to do... do horrible things to her.Orange pushed her head into my neck and looked up to me with eyes that reflected my sadness right back at me.“Why?” I asked. I’m not sure who I was asking. The empty air. The world itself? It didn’t matter. Things like this shouldn’t have happened, not in my fun fantasy world with magic and dragons and fairies and...I wiped my eyes again. I didn’t have time for this!Amaryllis needed saving, now more than ever.If I had to... to hurt people to save a friend, I would.Still, I had to find her first. There weren’t any tracks left, and I didn’t have the ability to see them from too high above. Even jumping as high as I couldn’t didn’t reveal anything. Orange was a cat, she couldn't track by scent the way a dog could.And that gave me an idea.I didn’t run so much as I sprinted. I only stopped by the bridge to fling my backpack off to reduce my weight. I only kept my spear and spade. Then I was off again, legs kicking out with constant jumps, the road flying by under me as I ate away at the distance.What had taken Amaryllis and I two hours to cross at a leisurely walk took me twenty minutes.In the end I collapsed into an ungainly heap at the front of Fort Frogger, my legs wobbly and inflamed from the constant impacts against the ground. Jumping so much couldn’t be good, not if the twinges of pain travelling up my legs meant anything, but I didn’t have time for anything like that.It took a moment for me to catch my breath and finally get to my feet. The skeletal knights by the gate hadn’t so much as flinched on my arrival.I walked past them, wincing as the many many aches across my body that two healing potions hadn’t cured. I had one left, but it was for Amaryllis. She would need it more than I would.“Gunther!” I called out as I knocked on the door with a closed fist. “Mister Gunther, please. I need help!”The door to the fort opened. Mister Gunther stood in the entrance, flanked by Throat Ripper and looking quite unamused. Then he took me in and his expression shifted. “What happened to you?” he asked. “No, wait, come in, come in.”I followed him in. I wanted to talk right away, but he just kept walking until he was in the lounge and sitting in one of the chairs. The other two had been packed away already, so I was left standing before him. “Amaryllis was taken. Um, we were attacked. At that bridge.”“Not by my skeletons?” he asked.“No. No by deer people. Amaryllis called them cervids? There were six of them. They were in uniforms.”Gunther looked at me, an eyebrow rising. Then he saw my wrist. “Come closer. Give me your hand.”“It’s broken,” I said without approaching.“I had assumed as much,” he said drolly. “Is your class suited to mending bones?” he asked.“No?”“Then listen to what I say and come here.” I came closer and extended my hand to him. He wasn’t very gentle, and I had to hold back a hiss as he turned it over. “Apologies. Most of the time when I’m handling bones the... owner isn’t capable of feeling pain any longer.” He gripped my hand and pulled.There was a sickening pop, and I gasped. Then a wash of warmth raced through my wrist and arm and the pain faded to a memory. I yanked my hand back and hugged it close, but a few motions revealed it to be back to normal.“Tell me of your encounter.”I swallowed. “Oh, okay,” I said. I recounted the story of what had just happened. By the end I was breathing hard and I didn’t know if I wanted to throw a tantrum or start crying. Throat Ripper helped by standing next to me and pushing his big head into my side.“I see,” was all Gunther said in the end. He arched his hands together and leaned back into his chair. “What are you going to do now?”“I.. I wanted to ask your help,” I said while looking to the ground. I was still idly scratching Throat Ripper’s neck, but that didn’t require much thought.“To return to Green Hold unbothered? I could let you take a pair of skeletons with you. It would serve as a good deterrent.”“No, to save Amaryllis. I can’t track them down. I don’t know where they went,” I said.“Didn’t you already lose against them? What makes you think you stand a chance now?” he asked.I sniffled. I wasn’t going to start crying again. “I don’t know. But I have to save her! She’s my friend!”Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.Gunther looked at me for a long while, then he let out a sigh. “I suppose we could assist you.”“Thank you!” I said before I launched myself across the room and hugged him. “Thank you so, so much!” I repeated.Gunther didn’t seem to know what to do, so he settled with patting me on the head as if I was Throat Ripper. “Yes, yes. Well. Throat Ripper will be the one doing the assisting. And we won’t do it for free.”I stood back up and nodded. I was smiling again, for the first time in hours. It had been a long time since I’d gone so long without a smile. “Yes, anything.”“Any— don’t make such open promises,” he said. “We’ll help in exchange for a favour.”“What sort?” I asked. I was eager to get going now. With Throat Ripper helping I was sure I could find Amaryllis.“Nothing uncouth, I assure you. Just return here and you’ll see what I wish of you.”“I can do that,” I said. “Can we leave now? Please? I don’t know what they’re doing to her. We need to save Amaryllis.”“I’m not sending my best friend out there with only you for support,” Guther said. “I’ll gather my swiftest skeletons and send them as well. If there truly are six adversaries that have reached or passed the first rank, then you’ll need a far greater number of skeletons to hold them back. Cervids are no pushovers.”Gunther stood up and I followed him as he started ordering skeletons around. First he told Throat Ripper and a few of the butler skeletons to go get the dog’s armour, then he stepped out and casually pointed to half a dozen skeletons, all of them cervid, and told them to go and get equipped for battle.It was a little disconcerting to see how much power Gunther had around his little fort, but that power was on my side and would help me save Amaryllis, and Gunther didn’t seem like a bad sort of guy.“Your goal is to save your friend?” Gunther asked me as we both moved back into the fort.“Yeah, of course,” I said.“Then the moment you arrive, focus on that and nothing but. Take your friend and run back here, or if you must, towards Green Hold. The cervids aren’t welcome there, nor is anyone else from the Trenten Flats.”“Is there some history there?” I asked. “Or is it just, uh, speciesism?”Gunther blinked, then smiled as he rubbed at his nose. “Ah, yes I suppose you wouldn’t know. The United Republic of the Trenten Flats is the largest nation on the continent. They’re also fiercely expansionist and rather troublesome to have as neighbours. Some decades ago they invaded Deepmarsh. Or rather, they tried to.”“Deepmarsh stopped them?” It wasn’t time for a history lesson, but I was waiting and maybe learning a little about the kidnappers would help.“They will certainly claim so. I believe that the truth is more nuanced. The Trenten invasion was large, outnumbering any force Deepmarsh could bring by three to one. But they were led by an inexperienced general, didn’t have many scouts, and the army they fielded was green. The swamps, unfiltered water, and the insects of the marsh did more to whittle down the army than the resistance Deepmarsh rallied to defend their borders.”“That sounds messy,” I said. I could imagine a huge army trying to trek through the same swampy land Amaryllis and I had walked across. With wagons and horses and a lot of people walking over the same muddy ground all day. It wasn’t hard to imagine the average soldier’s morale taking a hit.“I still find bodies to this day,” Gunther said. “Ah, Throat Ripper is ready.”The big, rather silly bone doggy had changed a whole lot over the course of the last ten minutes. He was now covered from head to tail in thick padded armour, with a layer of what looked like the scaly hide of some sort of crocodile. His head was covered in a helmet that only left the burning embers of his eyes visible and there were boney spikes sewn into the material of his armour all along his sides and back and haunches.“Oh, wow,” I said. “You look so scary Throat Ripper,” I said. “Yes you do, yes you do!”The bone doggy wiggled his butt and his tail, now equipped with a thagomizer, swung from side to side in glee.“There’s a seat built into the top of his armour. It’s far from comfortable, but it works well enough as long as you hang on tightly.”I don’t know what my expression was like, but Gunther took one look at me and chuckled.“Remember what I said. Grab your friend and return. Don’t dilly dally. Don’t try and fight the cervids unless you have no other choice. And if it comes to the choice between you and them, do pick yourself. It would be insulting if you were unable to pay back your favour because you managed to get yourself killed.”I swallowed, the joy that learning that I’d get to ride Throat Ripper into battle snuffed out by his warning. “Alright,” I said. “I’ll do what I can.”“Good,” Gunther said. “Now, don’t worry about the skeletons. They’re immensely disposable. And Throat Ripper is likely stronger than most everyone but the elites among the Cervid army. He can take care of himself. And if he does pass on, I can always bring him back.”“Thank you, Gunther. I... just thank you.”“Go save your friend, little riftwalker. You can thank me later.”I grinned at him, and when Throat Ripper bounded out of the front door I followed after the big pup. With a bounce, I landed on the bone dog’s broad back and grabbed two spikes that were placed so as to be handholds for the rider. “C’mon Throat Ripper, let’s go save Amaryllis.”
* * *
Chapter Fifty-Two — Hard to Ignore
Chapter Fifty-Two — Hard to Ignore Riding on Throat Ripper was not nearly as neat as I thought it would be. For one thing, he had a really wide back, and while I was able to hook my ankles around some of the spikes behind me, it still left me with my legs stretched out uncomfortably.Then there was the constant bumping gait that had me almost bouncing off of the bone doggy’s back with every step.Behind us a group of a little over a dozen cervid skeletons formed up into a rough line, each one hanging onto a spear and shield, their eyes glowing even in the midday sunlight.“Faster,” I told Throat Ripper. It didn’t matter that it hurt, if I wanted to save Amaryllis I had to get there before they did anything nasty to her. Throat Ripper complied, huge claws digging into the earth to shoot up forwards at a speed that would have had me whooping with joy were the situation any different.We soon arrived at the bridge and I pointed ahead towards my bag. “That’s where I left my stuff,” I said. “We can take it later, but Amaryllis was taken around here.”Throat Ripper, being the very smart and good boy that he was, understood and slowed down his mad dash to a trot, then a slow walk that allowed me to sit back down and rest my behind on the saddle built into his armour.The skeletal doggy crossed the river, then spun around a few times, nose close to the ground. There wasn’t any sniffing, and I wondered how he was managing to make out any smells at all without a nose, but that didn’t seem to matter as he perked up and started moving off the road.When we stopped a little while later my heart sank. I was afraid that he had lost the scent, but Throat Ripper was the best and, with a growl that made my entire body vibrate, he pounced forwards and hopped from one little marshy island to the next.Soon I caught signs that the cervid had been around. Hoofprints in the soggy soil, bushes that had been cut apart in unnatural ways and patches of the ground that seemed... lifted.I guessed that they had stopped caring about stealth after a little ways.The sun was high overhead when I heard a distant sound. Talking. Too far away for me to understand, but that didn’t matter. Voices meant people and the only people I thought we would be meeting were the villains we were chasing.“I’m going to scout ahead,” I told Throat Ripper. “Can you and the other skeletons wait here?”He nodded his big doggy head.“Alright. Hide. If they spot me they might chase me, and it might be best that they don’t see you.”The doggy growled. Not one long continuous rumble, but a series of grumbles that were interrupted a few times. The skeletons all darted this way and that. Some splashing into the muddy waters and submerging themselves until only the top of their heads were visible. Others jumped into the skeletal branches of some nearby trees and then stood frozen on the spot, completely immobile. The rest burrowed into bushes and hid in their shadows.In under a minute the only plainly visible skeleton was Throat Ripper. He padded back a way and sat behind a rock.“Right,” I said. “I’ll be back in no time at all, but if I don’t return... then save Amaryllis for me?”The dog looked my way, then let out a whine.I could only respond with a sad smile.The area wasn’t as marshy as some of the spots we had passed over the last day or so. There were more rivulets here and fewer large ponds, and the ground was rockier. I could see the mountain range to the east a whole lot clearer, which meant that we were probably on the edge of Deepmarsh’s territory.That was both good and bad news. It meant that moving was easier. It also meant that the bad guys would be getting further away faster.I scowled. I couldn’t pin the moment I had decided that the cervid, at least this group of them, were the bad guys. It was probably because they were no-good meanies who kidnapped my friend.Still, thinking of people as ‘bad guys’ was dehumanizing. Or whatever the word was for dehumanizing something that wasn’t a human. It made it too easy to think of them as non-people, which in turn meant that hurting them was easier to justify.That was the kind of mindset that started wars and racism and it wasn’t a nice way of thinking.I was better than that.So, these cervid, bad as they might be, might have had good reasons to kidnap Amaryllis. Maybe her family was secretly evil. Maybe their loved ones were being held hostage. Maybe... there were lots of maybes.Did it matter?I hopped over to the edge of a hill and immediately fell to the ground as I heard talking nearby. They were close. I recognized Amaryllis’ voice.On hands and knees I snuck up to the edge of the hill and slowly looked over it.“-And then, once we’re done ruining your economy, pitiful as it is, we’ll ruin that filthy misogynistic culture of yours!” Amaryllis was saying.I grinned. She was still alive.Sure, she had ropes wrapped all around her chest and was slung over the shoulder of one of the cervid-The Lancer I had fought-but she was in one piece. Her wounds even looked better, with a strip of cloth wrapped around her leg. Her jacket was long gone, and it looked as if they had frisked her, but she was in good enough shape to complain.It was as if a stone had been lifted from my shoulders.“Can we shut her up yet?” One of the cervids asked. The mage that Amaryllis had fought. “We have some cloth laying around.”The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.The leader shook his head. “No. She might choke herself just to spite us.”“When we stop,” the Plains Speaker spoke up. “Can I have a bit of fun with her?”This time the leader took a while to reply. “The client didn’t specify if she needed to be intact or not.”“Is that a yes?” he asked.The leader shook his head. “Not until we get confirmation.”“Stop talking over my head in your barbaric tongue!” Amaryllis shouted.“Can we at least slap her until she stops screaming?” one of them asked. “She’s going to attract trouble. And she’s giving me a headache besides.”I loosened my hand. It had been clenched so tight that my nails were digging into my palms hard enough to leave marks. They were going to... to do bad things to her.“Someone’s watching us,” one of the cervid said.I looked up in time to see a few sets of eyes looking my way. “Oh, shoot.”“Two, Four, after her!” the leader said.I didn’t wait to see which cervid that meant. I just shoved off the hill and jumped away, pushing enough stamina into the motion that I practically flew across the landscape.I heard hooves thundering after me. They were catching up, even with my head start.A glance over my shoulder showed a cervid waving a staff in the air, a sort of almost transparent whip flicking up and out above him. Then it shot forwards.My next jump threw me sideways and around a tree, one that I knew held a skeletal cervid in it.The whip-crack was like a rifle going off behind me, and the tree’s trunk exploded into a shower of splinters that had me covering my head.Any doubt I had that they hadn’t been holding back at the bridge fled.I jumped over the rock where Throat Ripper hid and backed up into it.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Jumping skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B costs two (2) Class Points“Not now,” I muttered to Mister Menu.Throat Ripper tilted his head at me.“Come on out, girl, and we’ll only kill you slowly,” one of them said.Were they trying to sound like b-rated villains?Throat Ripper made a noise deep in his bones that shook the air around him. It sunk into me, and soon I found myself having a hard time just breathing.Then he roared.You have heard the roar of a fearsome creature! Your soul is shaken.Throat Ripper grabbed onto the edge of the stone we were hiding behind, claws digging into the rock hard enough that little pieces of it rained down around me. Then he leapt over the edge.I heard two screams, then one.The mud to the side exploded apart as a skeleton ran out of it and I heard another dropping from a tree.Soon there were no more screams.Congratulations! You have killed Titan, (Wind Runner Level 12 / Wind Tear Level 4 ) and Rex, (Flaming Lancer level 10)! Bonus Exp was granted for killing a person above your level! Due to not being the primary combatant your reward is reduced!“No,” I whispered.The prompt, the accusation, disappeared.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 7!Stamina +5Flexibility +10You have gained: One Class Point“No,” I said. “Take it back? Please?” I begged to Mister Menu. I didn’t deserve a level, I didn’t deserve to get stronger.The level up prompt just floated there.Maybe I did deserve it.Maybe it was my condemnation. Absolute proof that I had done the worst thing a person could do.Titan and Rex. Two people that wouldn’t be going home. That wouldn’t be seeing their families. They wouldn’t spend any more time with their friends. Two people that I had killed, that I had taken everything away from.I was having a bit of difficulty breathing. My heart couldn’t decide if it should be racing or seizing and I felt torn up, as if some huge monster was tugging me every which way.A nose to the side had me looking up.Throat Ripper didn’t have eyes, not really, but there was still concern radiating off of him.“A-Amaryllis,” I said. “We still need to save her.”Throat Ripper opened his mouth. I looked away. There was too much blood there.I moved out from around the rock, eyes firmly shut. I didn’t want to see. I should have looked. I should have allowed the scene to sear itself into my mind for the rest of my life.But in the end I was a coward.We moved past, Throat Ripper guiding me as I held onto one of the bony spikes on his armour.“Wh-when we arrive,” I began. “Let me talk. Please? There’s still a chance. We can negotiate, or... or I can apologize. At the very least? To their friends?”The skeletal dog didn’t seem to understand most of what I had said, but I think he knew that I wanted to go ahead on my own again. We moved a little slower, with me setting the pace and the skeletons moving in a wedge behind us.We were giving the cervid time to prepare, time to get ready to attack us as soon as we showed up. That was okay. It gave me time to breath too, to... bury what I had caused. Not very deep, but enough that I could function for a little bit.Mom had always told me not to hide how I felt about the world, that I should always let my tears and my smiles run free.So, while we walked, I mourned for two men whose names I knew, but whose faces were still unknown to me, and would probably remain that way forever.And then we were near the hill, and the time for sadness and such was over.
Chapter Fifty-Three — Buntimidation
Chapter Fifty-Three — Buntimidation I crested a hill to find all four remaining members of the cervid group set in a loose formation on an opposite hill. A little rivulet ran across the ground between us, the water flowing along and masking the tense atmosphere with gentle murmurs.They had set Amaryllis aside, the Lancer holding his spear close to her neck in an obvious sign that they could hurt her at any moment.“Level check,” the leader said.One of the cervids glared my way. He wasn’t one of the two that had attacked me at the bridge, which meant he had to be Three. “She’s... level seven. Cinnamon Bun class. Disposition: dreary and resolute,” he said.He must have had a skill similar to my Insight. Since he had used it on me...An anxious Cervid Lancer, level ?.An angry Cervid Plains Speaker, level ?.Those were the two that I had fought on the bridge.A calculating Cervid Slip Spear, level ??.A rational Cervid Wind Warrior, level ??.The leader, and then the one that had just used something like Insight on me. I was expecting a mage of some sort, not a warrior, but maybe that didn’t matter.“I just want to talk,” I called out. The distance between us wasn’t that great, but it was enough that I thought I could dodge any attacks that they flung my way.Amaryllis glared at her captors, then her eyes softened as she looked towards me. She shook her head minutely, only stilling when the Lancer shifted his spear.“What happened to Two and Four?” the leader asked.“I...” I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat. “I’m sorry about Titan and Rex,” I said. “They didn’t... I’m sorry.”The leader shifted a little, his hand straying to his hip where a long, curved sword was hung. The others reacted a little too, but the Plains Speaker reacted most of all. “There’s no way. There’s no way someone like you got to them,”“Stop it, Six,” the leader said. It was low, but it still carried over to where I stood.“She’s just a human,” Six hissed.“Now’s not the time,” the leader said and it was the final word on the matter. He turned back towards me, his eyes set and I had the impression he was weighing me. “What do you want?” he asked.“I want my friend back,” I said.“You idiot!” Amaryllis finally shouted. Keeping quiet for a whole minute was obviously too much for her. “You should have just run. Go tell the oth-”She collapsed to the side and the Lancer pulled the butt of his spear away from her as she coughed and spat and tried to sit back up despite her arms being tied up behind her back.“I’m afraid we can’t just return the target to you. It would go against the parameters of our mission.”“I could pay you?” I tried, but the cervid shook his head. My few measly gold pieces wouldn’t be enough for that anyway. “M-maybe you could take me instead?”“I’m afraid not,” the leader said.“Please?” I asked, begged really. I didn’t want to have to take the next step.“Five, Six, flanks, Three, you’re with the target,” the leader said.I shook my head. “Please? I don’t want to fight.”“Gutting you is going to be a pleasure,” The Plains Speaker said. “If you killed Titan, then there’s no need for me to hold back.”I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else, but I was tired and weary and nothing came to mind.So I whistled.Throat Ripper landed atop the hill just behind me, then jumped forwards so that he was next to me, his huge body blocking most of my view of the other hill, but I could still see the widening of the Cervid’s eyes behind their helmets and the way Amaryllis began to grin, sharp and vindictive.The dog began to growl, the noise almost enough to drown out the rivulet below. Armour clunked as every skeletal cervid Gunther had sent with me lined up atop the hill.“Three, level check,” the leader barked.“The dog’s... a Bone Hound of the Long Slumber, level in the upper twenties, secondary class is Skeleton Lord and its third class is Good Boy. The skeletons.” Three scanned the hill, eyes jerking from walking corpse to walking corpse. “They’re all first tier, below ten.”The leader’s confidence was gone now. He didn’t seem ready to charge in a fight, especially not when Throat Ripper placed a paw on a rock jutting from the hill and it burst apart with little more than a flex of his toes.I stepped up around Throat Ripper, one hand still hanging onto his side to keep him back, not that I had any doubt that if the doggy wanted to jump across the hill he would. “Um, I would really, really rather not fight,” I said.“You didn’t tell me she was a necromancer,” the leader hissed.“She isn’t. I thought her class was baking based,” Three said.“It’s actually a nature support class,” I said, defending my class, even if it wasn’t the best. “I don’t know if I could learn baking.” But it was a great idea. If Baking was anything like Cleaning it might be my path towards fireballs.The leader shifted. I could tell that he wasn’t actually paying attention, a skill I had honed with much practice while prattling at friends. Still, that was okay because he took a small step back and shook his head. “Five, Six, prepare to pull back. Three, get the smoke ready.”“You’re not going to try and run, are you?” I asked.“Smoke!” the leader screamed.Throat Ripper tensed.Three tossed something on the ground.I was expecting some smoke from that, but not the amount that burst out and filled the air as if we were suddenly in a thick fogbank. At least it didn’t seem to have any effect on my breathing.Without being able to see, there was no way to know if they were right before me or to learn if they were running away.I aimed a hand away from Throat Ripper and fired a small burst of Cleaning magic. The fog around my hand faded away, then returned as the air shifted. So, it was something dirty, something that I could clean away.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.“Stay, please,” I said to Throat Ripper as I took a few steps before him, planted my spear into the ground next to me, and raised both arms in front of me. When casting a spell, there was a sort of... prompt in the back of my mind that asked ‘how much?’ It was the same for Jumping and Cleaning, though both took resources from different pools.When Cleaning I had an idea of how much mana I would need, exactly, to clean something, it was a sense that had been growing keener over time. Now I aimed the largest and widest Cleaning spell I could before me, and when my mind, or the system, or the world asked me ‘how much?’ my answer was just ‘yes.’The burst of magic fired out of me with a kick, shoving me back half a step.The effects before me were a whole lot more impressive.The magic travelled in a wave, expanding and bursting forwards across the grassy hill, past the rivulette and burst against the opposite hill.The cervid stared at me.Between us, the smoke bomb let out a pitiful puff and went inert.Throat Ripper growled.“Last chance,” I said. I yanked my spear out of the ground and turned it so that the point was hovering between us.They hadn’t even gotten Amaryllis onto the Plain Speaker’s back yet, probably because she was fighting them the entire time.“Please?” I begged past the wash of tiredness. My mana was spent, I didn’t have another chance like this one if they had another smoke bomb.“Push her down the hill,” the leader said.The Plains Speaker grumbled, but he shoved Amaryllis back toward me.My friend screeched as she tumbled down the grassy hill, hair flying every which way as she flopped downhill. She stopped in the steam with a splash.“This operation’s cost has passed what we were being offered. We’re leaving,” the leader said across the emptiness between us.“I.... I hope we never meet again,” I said. It was the meanest thing I could think to say.He nodded and backed away. When he and his men were a little ways off, they started to gallop away with surprising deftness.I waited just a moment before racing down the hill. I almost tripped as my shoes skidded over wet grass and mud, and my spear slipped out of my grasp, but I didn’t care. Amaryllis was right on the shore of the little stream at the bottom, coughing and sputtering out a facefull of muck.I landed next to her and fell to my knees. “Don’t move, don’t move,” I said as I pulled a knife from my bandoleer. A few careful tugs undid the ropes holding her in place.“About time. I can hardly feel my oomph!”I grabbed the harpy and crushed her to my chest, then held her at arms' length to inspect her up and down. “You’re okay?” I asked. She didn’t have time to answer. “You look okay. Oh, thank you.” I hugged her closer, arms around her waist to hold her close as I buried my head in her neck.“Don’t hug me,” she said. “You’re a mess.”“I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t stop hugging.She paused, then sighed and started rubbing my back. “What are you sorry over? You saved me, somehow. That was probably the single stupidest plan I have ever had the misfortune of being part of, but it succeeded, somehow.”I opened my mouth to speak but the words caught in my throat. I took a deep breath, and then it came spilling out in a rush, words tumbling over words and I don’t think my story was linear, exactly, but it didn’t matter. I told her of looking for her, of going to Gunther and of making a deal and then I paused.“And then what?” Amaryllis asked. “Or did you finally realise that being knee-deep in mud isn’t the place for this kind of conversation?”“I killed people,” I said.Amaryllis shifted and I slowly pulled away. I didn’t want to. The hug was nice. I missed hugs. But I didn’t deserve them.I looked up and into Amaryllis’ eyes, only to see her staring back, confused. “You’re talking of those ruffians, aren’t you?” she asked.“The, the cervid mercenaries, yeah,” I said in a whisper.“Okay, and?”I blinked. “Eh?”Amaryllis shifted, then pushed herself up so that she was standing above me. From where I knelt on the ground she practically towered above me, especially with her talons on her hips and her muddy wings flared out around her. “Don’t be an idiot. They were mercenaries. Mercenaries that tried to kidnap me for the world knows what reason. This was targeted. What you did was just taking out weeds. You even got a level from it.”I was breathing deeply, almost panting now. I swallowed and tried to control the beating of my heart. “No. No it doesn’t matter that they were doing a bad thing. No one should die, ever. Killing people is wrong.”Amaryllis knelt back down and met my eyes for a long moment. “Idiot,” she said before hugging me back. “You’re just one big idiot, Broccoli Bunch. To think that you’d compromise yourself for someone like me. You’re the dumbest person that has ever been.” She tightened her grip a little, and I think that she might have sobbed, just a little.I didn’t know what to feel, so I just fell into the hug and held my friend close.Amaryllis shook her head and the hug ended, but I did feel a little better. Not that I wouldn’t have a proper cry later, but now wasn’t the time for it. “We need to get back to Green Hold,” Amaryllis said.“I promised Gunther we’d go back to see him,” I said.“And that’s wise?” Amaryllis asked.“Is going back to Green Hold wise?” I asked right back.The harpy tilted her head to the side like a curious bird. “Maybe not that big an idiot. Let’s go then. I’ve had a long morning and could use some of that tea of yours.”
* * *
Chapter Fifty-Four — The Return
Chapter Fifty-Four — The Return Despite everything that had happened the sun was still far from setting. It beat down on my head from above, warming me where the cooler winds from the mountains to the West sent chills down my spine.Amaryllis wasn’t better off. She had lost her thick jacket at some point and was hugging herself for warmth.“There it is,” I said as I pointed off to the side of the bridge.We had ridden on Throat Ripper for a little while, at least until we reached the bridge. At that point Amaryllis had declared that there was no way she was riding any further if it meant being ‘jostled around by a big brute like Throat Ripper.’I didn’t mind walking, but I didn’t think she needed to word it the way she did. Throat Ripper wasn’t a big brute, he was a very good boy.We both paused when we were on the bridge, and I think Amaryllis noticed that I was watching her watch the surroundings because she huffed and crossed her wings again. “Well? Get your things.”I fetched my backpack, but instead of slipping it on, I pulled out a blanket and held it out to her. “It’ll be okay,” I said.“What’s that for? And what, exactly, will be okay?” Amaryllis asked.“Everything?” I tried.The harpy pinched the bridge of her nose. “You are a fool, Broccoli,” she said. It sounded halfway between exasperated and fond. “Give me that.”She took the blanket and wrapped it over her shoulders while I collected my things. Having both a spear and a shovel was growing to be a bit of a hassle. At the same time, I didn’t want to get rid of either one. The shovel was a memento of my time in the Wonderland dungeon, and the spear a gift from a friend. I supposed that when I found myself a nice place to stay in, or purchased my first airship, I would have a place to store all of my neat high-level gear.“What are you standing around for?” Amaryllis asked. “We have ground to cover.”“Right, sorry,” I said.We continued walking along the road, both of us much more alert than we had been that morning, but also a lot quieter. That is, until Amaryllis broke the silence. “Thank you,” she said.“For what?”“Don’t be a fool. Thank you for coming back, and for hatching such a featherbrained scheme to try and save me.”“I don’t think you should say ‘try to save me’ when it worked,” I pointed out.She huffed again. “Yes, well, I would have freed myself eventually. I was merely waiting for my mana supplies to be replenished naturally. Then I would teach those idiots a lesson on how to handle a nob— a lady.”“Oh, right, I didn’t ask about your leg, are you sure you should be walking?”She made a dismissive flapping motion in my direction. “I had enough healing points to take care of it.”“Okay, good,” I said. I still eyed the way she was walking for a bit, but she didn’t show any signs of limping.“Why are you smiling like that?” she asked.I hadn’t even noticed that I was grinning from ear to ear. It wasn’t even my normal ‘life is okay’ smile. This was a much bigger, brighter grin, and it took me all of a second to figure out why. “It’s because I made a friend.”“A friend? You think that just because we’ve been through some harrowing experiences together and that you saved me we’re suddenly nest buddies?”My smile faded and I looked at Amaryllis with tears gathering in my eyes.“F-fine. I... suppose I could deign to call even someone as dumb as you a friend-get off me!” she said when I glomped her from the side.“But we’re friends now!” I rubbed my head against hers so that our cheeks squished. “Oh, I’ve been looking forward to having friends ever since I came here, and I’m super happy that you’re my first real-deal friend, Amaryllis.”“Do you do this to all of your friends? No, don’t answer that. Keep the sordid details, and your hands, to yourself,” Amaryllis said as we started walking again. She might have made a fuss but when I held her close to my side she didn’t complain, and we were soon walking in sync with each other through the swampy marsh.The last few hours had been a roller coaster, with more ups and downs than I had been prepared to deal with, but now it felt as if things were settling into a comfortable, straight path. I could really use a friend in a moment like that, and now I had one.“So, which backwater are you from?” Amaryllis asked.“Are you asking because you want to know more about your friend?” I wondered.“No. I’m asking because if you are going to follow me around like some sort of enamoured chick, then I ought to at least discover how woefully unprepared you are so that I can cram some knowledge into that thick skull of yours. World knows I’m starved for intelligent conversation already.”“Ah, that’s sweet of you.” I could see the fort a little ways ahead of us. There were quite a few more skeletons on the walls. “How about I tell you my life story later?”“I’m sure it’s riveting,” she said.“It’s not as interesting as being a harpy princess,” I said.She snorted, though it sounded more like a sort of whistle. “I’m no princess,” she said.For just a little while, we slid into a comfortable silence, one that lasted until we were nearly at the gates of the fort. Throat Ripper bounded ahead of us, full of happy doggy energy. I wanted to skip after him, but I decided to stay next to Amaryllis in case she needed more morale support.“I meant it,” Amaryllis said.“Meant what?”“My thanks, earlier. I don’t think most would have tried to do what you did, especially not for a stranger. I wasn’t always as kind to you as I could have been.”“It’s okay. A lot of people are like that when I first meet them. And you don’t need to thank me, it’s the least I could do for a friend.”This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.Her eyes narrowed and for a moment I wondered if I had said something wrong. “How can you sound so condescending when you say that?”“Eh? But I’m not!”“Yes, well, your idea of friendship is utterly bizarre.”“I prefer to think that I have an outside context on the subject,” I said. “Hey, do you think there’s such a thing as friendship-aspect mana?”“What? No, what kind of backwards, uneducated idiocy is that?”We reached the front doors of the fortress with Amaryllis prattling on about how mana was a tangible thing and how I really, really needed to read a book someday. Before we had even crossed the courtyard leading into the fort proper the door opened and we were greeted by Gunther. “Ah, hello again, Broccoli. Miss Albatross. It’s good to see that you’re both well.”“Yes, I suppose it would be,” Amaryllis said.I poked her in the ribs, which earned me a glare. “Don’t be rude. Mister Gunther went out of his way to help us today. He didn’t need to.”Gunther hid a smile behind the act of scratching his nose. “Quite. Would you ladies step in? I’m ready for that favour you owe me, miss Bunch.”“What favour?” Amaryllis hissed at me as I began to follow Gunther back in.“I don’t know, he wasn’t very specific.”“You... you absolute moron.”I didn’t know what to expect from Gunther, but it wasn’t to find that the furniture in the living room had all been shifted about. A few extra torches were sitting in sconces and a large tarp was placed across the floor. In the middle of the room, next to a Throat Ripper that was being fussed over by a couple of skeletons, was a large easel.“Please, stand over there,” Gunther said as he gestured to the end of the room.“Oh, is this like some sort of painting magic?” I asked.“There’s no such thing,” Amaryllis said.“There isn’t?” I wondered. “Not even... like painting the future, or using colours to manipulate a person’s emotions?”“What? No, that’s preposterous.”Gunther hummed as he moved to the back of the easel. A skeleton was standing there holding up a platter with some paints on it and a case that had all sorts of brushes and glass jars of various pigments. “You would do well to set aside what you think is correct, Miss Albatross, especially around someone like Miss Bunch here who... well, the world most certainly has plans regarding her,” he said.“Plans?” I asked. “Like quests?”Gunther paused, hands hovering over the brushes and paints. “Yes, like quests,” he said. “I haven’t had anything new to paint in some time. I hope you don’t mind being my subjects. I’m quite rapid with the brush and oils.”“No problem!” I said. “Did you want to paint Amaryllis too? We could be sitting next to each other, or posing in a cool way, or hugging or something.”“I am not being painted in some sort of... debauched pose. Nor am I suitably dressed for a painting,” Amaryllis said.“While you are perhaps a... little dishevelled,” Gunther said. His hand began moving across the entire canvas, laying down the background layer of paint. “You do have a certain ferocious look. The adventuress after a difficult ordeal.”Amaryllis stood just a tiny bit taller at the compliment and I had to stifle a knowing grin. “Well I think you look great,” I said. “Here.” A bit a cleaning magic later and we were both freed of all the mud and gunk that covered out clothes. Amaryllis even passed her talons through her hair to straighten it out.“Very well. Just stand naturally,” Gunther said.Amaryllis shifted, her arms moving up, her back bending a little and all of her feather floofing out.“What are you doing?” I asked.“I’m getting into the proper pose for a painting.”“Oh,” I said. Then I hugged her. “Paint us like this!”“No, you idiot!” Amaryllis protested. “Is this how you want people to see you when they look at the painting? Some, some hug-giving harlot?”“Hey! I would never charge for a hug!”“Wh-what’s that’s supposed to mean?” Amaryllis sputtered.“You’re a friend. Friends get free hugs!”Gunther sighed as he lowered his brush then moved over to place us both shoulder to shoulder. It wasn’t the most active pose, but I suppose it wasn’t all bad.It was kind of awkward to just stand there, like taking a family photo, but with the world’s slowest camera. “Um, can we still talk?” I asked.“Of course,” Gunther said, though he sounded distracted. “Tell me about how your rescue went? Did Throat Ripper do a good job?”“He was the best,” I declared. Off to the side of the room, Throat Ripper replied with a thump-thump of his tail on the floor. “I don’t know if undead doggies have snacks, but if they do he deserves all of them.”“I’ll see what I can do,” Gunther said. “And the cervid, they’ve left?”“They did,” Amaryllis answered. “You might find yourself in some trouble if they decide that you’re a threat.”“Perhaps. Perhaps not. I am difficult to be rid of, and my home here is well-guarded. Nonetheless, perhaps I shall increase the number of patrols. Just to be cautious.”“That would be wise,” Amaryllis said.They actually began to talk politics, Amaryllis questioning Gunther over his views of the laws pertaining to necromancy, and while that was interesting enough, I had my mind occupied by other things.Sure, the day had gone... well. I might have lost a friend and I didn’t, instead I had made one. But at the same time, I was left wondering just what was left in store for us in the coming days. Amaryllis’ near-kidnapping hadn’t been a coincidence, which meant that someone had deliberately targeted my friend.I... we would need to get to the bottom of it. Together!“What are you smiling about now?” Amaryllis asked.“Nothing,” I said.
Chapter Fifty-Five — Revelations
Chapter Fifty-Five — Revelations “It’s beautiful,” I said.Gunther shifted a little, the compliment making his deathly pale skin flush just a tiny bit. “It is adequate,” he said.The painting was fairly simple, with a stone wall illuminated by torchlight behind both myself and Amaryllis. It reminded me just a little of American Gothic, but Amaryllis was the only one scowling, her sharp eyes looking at me sideways and there was just a hint of humor in her gaze, probably a trick of Gunther’s brushstrokes that made her eyes pinch at the corners.Standing to Amaryllis’ left was a Broccoli Bunch that I hardly recognized. Sure, that was my smile, the one I always wore when taking a picture with a friend. And I had my trusty spade over my shoulder and my bandoleer on and my spear held up by my side. But something had changed. There was a lot of happiness there, but also... guilt. “It’s really nice,” I repeated.I hated lying.“You can take it with you, if you want. I merely needed the practice,” Gunther said.“We couldn’t,” I said.“Nonsense, it cost me nothing to make,” Gunther insisted.“No, I mean, we literally can’t. It’s too big to carry through the swamps. It’ll get all mushy,” I said.Amaryllis poked the painting and it poofed away. “There. Done. Favour’s paid, painting is in storage, sun is still shining. We should go.”“Amaryllis!” I said. “That was rude. Gunther’s a friend.”“No, no, she is correct. Rude, but correct. If you intend to reach Green Hold by nightfall then it would be best if you left now. A direct route west-southwest will have you intersecting the road leading into the town in... oh, six, seven hours at a fast jog?”That was a lot of jogging. “Um, but that would mean just... leaving, like that.”Gunther’s smile was a little wry, but it was still genuine. “Yes. But no worries, I’m certain we’ll meet again someday. Else I suppose I’ll read of your exploits in some book of myths and tales.”Amaryllis snorted. “Hardly,” she said before eyeing Gunther. “You weren’t all that bad, for a necromancer.”“And you’re passably tolerable, for a harpy,” Gunther replied just as easily.“Aww, you’re getting along,” I said.Amaryllis huffed and walked past me. “I’ll be waiting outside.”I watched her go for a moment before turning back to Gunther. “It really was nice to meet you— and Throat Ripper,” I said. I walked over to the big bony lump. The doggy was laying on his side and looked asleep... or maybe just more dead, though one of his eyes started to glow when I started patting his side. “Thanks for your help earlier,” I said.He replied with a thump-a-thump of his tail so I gave him some extra pats.“Be safe, and may the world watch over your journey,” Gunther said.I smiled. “And may it, um, watch over you as well?” I said.He laughed. “Ask your friend about proper greetings, I’m sure she can talk your ears off about it. Good luck, Broccoli Bunch. We’ll see each other again, I’m certain.”I found Amaryllis eyeing a skeletal harpy, her head tilted to the side as she stared at the only bird-like skeleton in the area. I looked at its thin-boned arms and the way its legs connected to a strange pair of thin hips, then I eyed Amaryllis who was, by then, glaring at me.“Stop staring at me like I’m some sort of chicken,” she said.“Um, but aren’t you just a little bit chicken?” I gestured at her white hair and feathers.Amaryllis squawked and stomped off and out of the fort so fast I had to jog to keep up. “A chicken! She calls a member of the purebred Albatross family a bloody chicken? Why world? Why did you saddle me with this idiot?” Amaryllis asked the skies.“Is being called a chicken an insult?” I asked.It was a strange way to start our voyage back, but Amaryllis' loud and gesture-filled rant about the inferiority of the Chicken clan and how they did little more than scratch at the dirt all day and eat grubs, was entertaining at least.Apparently humans weren’t the only ones that didn’t like insects in their lunch. Most harpies were on the same page.With Orange pouncing ahead of us to scout, we moved down the same path we had that morning. Amaryllis’ rant only stopped when we recrossed the bridge. Nothing happened though, and soon we were walking along at a good clip towards Green Hold.Amaryllis went dull-eyed for a moment, then scowled at the air. “I’m going to be hitting my class evolution soon. I’ll need a second class in abeyance if I want to keep progressing.”“What’s that mean?” I asked.“It means that... if you decide to remain my partner in the guild, which if you have any wisdom in that thick human skull of yours you will, we’ll have to make a detour to a suitable dungeon to pick up a second class.”So, second classes were a thing for real then. “And what’s a class evolution?”Amaryllis stopped walking so suddenly that I took three steps before noticing. I lowered my spear and started to prepare some cleaning magic.“How do you not know that?” she asked. She was eyeing me like I was a bunny and she was a hungry bird of prey. “Everyone knows about it, even peasants. Especially peasants since it’s what keeps them that way.”“Is it that big a deal?” I asked.“It’s the only way to level past ten. Without guards and warriors in the second tier and beyond civilization would collapse in a week.”“Wait, you can’t level past ten without an evolution thing?” I asked. I was beginning to worry. What if they were really expensive?“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “Where are you from? How did you survive with such an abysmal education?”“Ah,” I said as I hesitated. I didn’t want to share too much. No, that wasn’t it. I was afraid to share too much because that knowledge might shove a wedge between Amaryllis and I. But now my lack of knowledge was doing the same thing. “It’s a long story?” I tried.Stolen story; please report.“It’s a long walk.”“Right.” There went that excuse. I decided that I might as well bite the bullet. “Do you know what a riftwalker is?”“Yes... no,” she declared. Suddenly she was eyeing me up and down as if I had started dancing a naked jig. “You are not... oh but that would explain a lot.”“So you know what a riftwalker is? Gunther knew, somehow. He was very mysterious about it, but he didn’t seem to think it was a bad thing.”“The only person for whom it’s bad is me. If some of the professors back home learned that I was with a riftwalker and didn’t question her thoroughly they would clip my wings and fling me off the highest tower in Farseeing.” Amaryllis slapped her talons over her face. “That explains why you’re so wildly incompetent at everything.”“Ah,” I said.Amaryllis went on. “Your complete cluelessness about magic. Your ignorance about the local cultures. And to think I thought that you were merely struck in the head.”“That’s rude, I think,” I said.“You must be from some incomprehensibly backwards world where the young are coddled and protected,” Amaryllis said.“Hey! Canada’s not... too backwards. We have the internet in some places,” I defended.Amaryllis made a high-pitched trilling noise, one that I had never heard from her before. “Well, now I’m slightly less disappointed that we’ve become... friends.”She had been disappointed? “You are?”“Oh yes. The last Riftwalker that I learned about was an unassuming man of little talent and worth, or so every test suggested,” she said.“That doesn’t inspire much confidence,” I said.“He went on to be a professor of the Snowland’s greatest academy and pioneered the creation of the gravitic engine that airships use today. That was some hundred-odd years ago.”“Oh,” I said.Now the glint in Amaryllis’ eyes looked kind of scary.“Well, don’t expect anything like that from me,” I said. “I think I already did the thing this world wanted. But we can still be friends anyway.”Amaryllis deflated a little. “Truly?” I nodded. “Well, regardless, you’re still a trove of possibly interesting, if mundane, facts.”“I’ll tell you about my world if you help me learn about the magic you use here,” I said.“Deal!” Amaryllis said. She puffed out her chest, and when she began walking again it was with something of a strut. She really did remind me of a chicken. “With me at the helm of your education you’ll have caught up to the world’s standard in no time.”“Awesome!” I said with a laugh as I jogged to keep up. “So, what’s a class evolution?”She waved a hand dismissively through the air. “A class evolves when it hits its tenth level. This is universal across all classes that I’m aware of. At that point, the world gifts you with some choices on how you guide your future development. Some require certain actions to be taken beforehand, others are more common and are available to everyone. Most classes have the default option to continue with the same class.”“Okay?” I said. “So... level ten lets you evolve your class. Got it. I’ve met a lot of Grenoil who are Fencers, is that because they all evolve into that?”“No. There’s a dungeon in Deepmarsh, the capital, that gives anyone that clears it the Fencer class. It’s a low-level dungeon, purposefully kept that way so that younger grenoil can obtain the class. For a lesser gold you can be escorted to the boss and someone will beat it near to death for you,” Amaryllis said. “By participating in the fight you can replace your main class with Fencer, which is what quite a few grenoil set out to do. It’s a well-documented class with some clear and easy progressions.”I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I listened. These were the kinds of things I wanted to know for a while now. “So, back to the evolution thing. Can a Fencer become a Sword Dancer?”Amaryllis nodded slowly, as if uncertain. “I think that’s one of the class evolutions from Fencer, but with a focus on two blades?”“That sounds right. I met a grenoil from the exploration guild that had two swords and that class,” I said. “So when I get to level ten I’ll get to pick from a bunch of classes?”“It depends on your accomplishments, but essentially, yes. There are some progressions that are very well documented. Fire and Thunder Mages for example. There’s another evolution at level twenty, and every ten levels after that.”“Brilliant. I can’t wait to find out what my class will evolve into,” I said.“Probably something suitably droll. Your class sounds like something a peasant might obtain from cleaning the lavatory.”“You can get classes from cleaning lavatories?” I asked. “I thought you needed to fight a dungeon boss.”Amaryllis sighed. “No. Your first class is always a gift of the world. And it’s usually awful. That’s why I switched to Thunder Mage about a year ago.”“What were you before?” I asked.“That doesn’t matter,” she said with a lofty wave of her hand. “As of right now, I’m level nine, which means my evolution approaches. Once it’s done I’ll be bottlenecked until I unlock a second class and can start levelling both it and my primary class again. The next bottleneck will be at level twenty for the primary and ten for the secondary class.”“Okay?” I said as I tried to imagine it. Maybe it was like those glass jars in chemistry class, then the first one filled up the excess would pour through a spout to the second and so on. Or maybe not.“I just need to find a suitable dungeon to tackle and I’ll be set for a while. We can even share a secondary class, if you want to come along.”“That sounds like a lot of fun!” I said.I wasn’t too sure where my friendship with Amaryllis stood, but I was hoping for the best.
* * *
Chapter Fifty-Six — Dreaming Big
Chapter Fifty-Six — Dreaming Big “Cleanthrower!” I shouted as I stretched an open hand towards the nearest slime.Cleaning magic poured out of my palm as if I had opened the tap on a garden hose. It splashed over the grey-ish blob of gelatinous magic, melting it apart.“There’s another ahead of you,” Amaryllis said as she raised a hand. She was holding onto a ball of light, kind of like those I had seen Arianne make the first time I ever met a grenoil, only these were a bit brighter and she managed to cast a stronger light forward, like a flashlight that illuminated the way ahead.I looked up ahead, and she was right, a huge slime, bigger than any I had ever seen before, was blubbering its way ahead in the middle of the road. I could see the entire half-digested body of a rabbit near its core. “I got it,” I said as I stepped up. I brought my hands together, palm flat by my side, “Kame!” I took a wide stance. “Ha... meee...” Then I shot my arms out before me with a loud. “Haaa!”A white ball of cleaning magic puttered along through the air in a meandering course that ended when it booped into the slime’s chest. Then it kept going, carving a hole through the entire monster.The slime collapsed.“What was that?” Amaryllis asked.“It’s a, uh,” I flushed. “Magical chant from my homeland. It makes you way more awesome.”“It makes you louder,” Amaryllis corrected. “We’re lucky slimes are deaf else you’d have called every creature across the entire region with your incessant screaming.”“Oops?” I said. I was a little sorry. It wasn’t nice to put myself and Amaryllis at risk like that. On the other hand, that was one more slime down, which meant just a little bit more experience towards the next level. I would need it. I had to be stronger, strong enough that the next time there was a fight, I could fight on my own terms, or at least make people think twice about hurting my friends.Walking through the swamps at night-with only the rune-light on my helmet and Amaryllis light to guide us-was a bit scary, but it wasn’t so bad, especially after getting rid of just about every slime on our path. Amaryllis used her thunder magic liberally at first, but she then suggested we pace ourselves and switch every so often to keep at least one of us topped off with mana.The moon above made the clouds glow silver and refracted off of the humid fogbanks rising up all around us. All the noises of the marsh were damped by the fog, which only made it harder to tell where something might come from.Amaryllis said that monsters could usually sense that messing with a person was a bad idea, but we were also both in our first tier, which made us prime midnight snack material.I had to get strong enough that no one would eat me.“Hey, Amaryllis?” I asked.“What inane question do you have for me now?” she asked as she panned her light across the woods.“What level was Throat Ripper at?” The cervid mercenaries had backed off instead of fighting the bone doggo, so aiming to be at about that level was a good start.“Third tier,” Amaryllis said. “That’s above level twenty of his primary class.”“So he had... three classes total?” I asked as I worked out the information in my head.“To get past twenty he would need his second class at level ten, and a third class, yes,” she said.“How long do you think it would take me to get that strong?” I asked.Amaryllis’ light shifted until it was illuminating me. She didn’t stop moving though, so nor did I. “Is this a riftwalker thing?”“It’s a Broccoli Bunch thing,” I said.She snorted. “Getting past the first tier is simple enough. A few years with safe and well-paced training. Far less with situations like ours where we’re fighting for our lives. Second tier can take anywhere from two to ten years to get past. You’ll rarely see anyone younger than thirty past level twenty. The pinnacle of most civilisations are those in their third and fourth tiers. It can take decades to move past those. Most people succumb to old age before hitting their fifth tier. Mostly because to keep growing at a decent rate you need to start facing challenges that are frankly ridiculous.”I processed that for a bit. Amaryllis was really a fountain of knowledge. I think some people would have pegged her as a nerd back home, and they would have been very rude for placing her in a box like that.So, the more one leveled up, the harder it got, and most people didn’t make it to level forty unless they tried really hard for a long time. That just meant that I had to either work even harder, or I could aim for a point where I’d be respected and stop there.That sounded good enough, and it lined up with my goals in life.“Why are you asking?” Amaryllis asked. “Not that the question is terrible. I’m merely curious as to what brought you to it.”“I want to know how strong I need to be to carry out my dreams.”“And what are those?” Amaryllis asked.“I want a small house with a little fence around it. A dog, two cats, a gentle husband with a really nice chin, and two kids. A boy and a girl,” I said.Amaryllis tripped over a root or something and her light went out. She said bad things while recasting the spell. “That’s it?” she asked.“Well, I’d like it if I lived near my friends, that way I could visit them every night. We could do rotations where every night a new friend cooks supper. And we couple play boardgames! I think it would be cute.”“What kind of peasant aspirations are those?” Amaryllis asked. “Don’t you want... more?”“Not really?” I asked. “I want plenty of little things, but they're not my dreams. Oh, I do want to learn fireball, does that count?”“No, no it doesn’t!”Amaryllis flashed her light ahead of us, illuminating a couple of slimes that were slimming their way closer. She muttered something and arcs of lightning flashed out of her fingers and sizzled as they dug into the slimes.If I ever found a glowing red sword I was giving it to her to complete the image.We continued our trek through the woods at a sedate pace until, finally, I could see a faint glow in the fog ahead. “Is that Green Hold?” I asked.“It might be,” Amaryllis said. “I’m not going to look for a hill to use as a vantage in this lighting.”“Stop here for a bit,” I said. Crouching down, I took off my backpack and shifted my bum like a kitty looking for just the right balance. Then I pushed a chunk of my stamina into my legs and shot into the air.This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.I resisted the urge to scream in delight as the wind whipped at me. Then, when I was at the apex of my jump, I looked ahead. The town was covered in a thin layer of fog, but it was easy enough to see the little towers around it and the plumes of smoke rising into the sky.I landed with an ‘oomph’ and resettled my skirts. “It’s Green Hold,” I said.“Handy skill that,” Amaryllis said. “Just normal Jumping?”“Yup,” I said. “Rank C. That’s, um, disciple?”Amaryllis shrugged a shoulder and began walking again. “Most would try to get rid of it, or find a skill to merge it with. But if it works for you.”“It’s got enough experience to rank up to journeyman, actually,” I said.“Hrm. What’s your skill distribution look like? You only have so many skill points to go around before you hit your class evolution.”“Do I get more after?” I asked.“You do, but it’s slower. It’s best to plan these things out,” she said.“Ah, okay,” I said. It made sense. What did I want to focus on? Having Cleaning at rank A would require three levels worth of skill points. I could do that as soon as it was ready to rank up. Or I could move other skills up a few ranks, or save some points for the next skill I’d unlock at level eight. So many choices.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
7
Age
16
Health
120
Stamina
130
Mana
115
Resilience
30
Flexibility
35
Magic
20
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
B — 12%
Jumping
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 13%
Cute
D — 100%
General Skills
Insight
C — 33%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
E — 58%
`
Archeology
F — 57%
Friendmaking
D — 58%
Skill points
3
General Skill Points
1
“Skills unlock a secondary thing at disciple, right?” I asked.“They do,” Amaryllis confirmed. She zapped a little slime with a wave. I was noticing fewer and fewer of them as we came closer to Green Hold. Maybe there were partols, or the mana around the town was different enough that they didn’t spawn every night?“One more question,” I said as I looked at Mister Menu’s display of my profile. “How many General Skills can you have?”“Five initially,” Amaryllis said. “You’ll get another five at the same time as you hit your bottleneck. You can’t really get General Skill Points.”“Only from doing something for the World, right?” I asked.Amaryllis slowed down. “You got some?” she asked.“Um,” I said.“World curse your ignorant luck,” she muttered.“Just two of them,” I said.“Yes, yes, just two. Two enough for some people to kill you.”“What?” I squeaked.She huffed. “Killing someone with General Skill Points lets you take them for yourself. But the people with those are... rare. Dungeon core breakers, who are fair game. Some champions that did extraordinary deeds. Sometimes the people who get a rare, an exceptionally rare, quest. They’re usually strong enough that killing them for the points isn’t worth the hassle, but when nations go to war those champions become targets.”“Ah,” I said.It sort of made sense. As far as I could tell, any skill could be acquired by anyone. That meant that you could have a skill that wasn’t part of your class. But Rank D was... lame? Not that great? It certainly helped, but it wasn’t beyond what a person could do naturally.Jumping at Rank D made me good at jumping and helped with the timing and balance. Cleaning at that same rank made me a more efficient cleaner. But it had all been within human limits-with a bit of help. The moment those skills reached rank C they became... more. Magical.So a person with lots of General Skill points could start unlocking plenty of new ranks in a hurry and would become a lot stronger in a short period of time. Assuming they got more than just two points, of course.“Ahh, my head is stuffed,” I said.“Yes, I’m sure Thinking isn’t one of your skills,” Amaryllis said.I glared over at her, but the glare fizzled and died on contact with her smug grin. “You’re mean. I’m not an idiot.”“You’re certainly smarter than most of the fools I have to deal with,” she said. “That doesn’t make you a genius by any measure though.”“Who was it that needed saving yesterday?” I asked as innocently as I could.Amaryllis did that cute huffing thing she did when I scored a point and started walking a little faster. “Those were exceptional circumstances. Circumstances that I will get to the bottom of.”As I watched the walls of Green Hold grow closer, I started to have a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Chapter Fifty-Seven — Pomf
Chapter Fifty-Seven — Pomf Green Hold’s gate was guarded by a single older grenoil with wrinkly skin and a quarterstaff by his side. When he saw us coming from within his tower he turned on a magical light and brought it around so that it illuminated the pair of us.Amaryllis had to shout up to him that we were with the Exploration Guild and that we were returning from a mission before he opened the gates a crack and let us in.“I wouldn’t normally let folks in at zese sorts ‘a hours, but it ain’t right to keep two young ladies out when it’s dark out,” the guard grenoil said.“Thank you, sir,” I said.I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get to see Green Hold during the day when it was no doubt bustling with activity, but I still got to admire the pretty stone and mud homes. Some of the buildings were a little strange, big rounded things that reminded me of the Roman colosseum but way, way smaller, with the words ‘Tadpole House’ on a few signs above the doors. Others were simple enough, shops and homes and, of course, a large inn.We made our way to the last of these, the tallest building in town — apart from some of the guard towers — all stone and wood with a blue-shingled roof. The sound of gentle chatter drifted out of the building, mingling with an instrument that sounded a bit like a bagpipe but higher in pitch.“Let’s find that bastard,” Amaryllis said as she kicked the door open and stomped into the inn.I was caught flat-footed for a moment. I knew Amaryllis was a little miffed, but I didn’t expect her to suddenly turn as angry as she did.The crowd in the inn hushed up, dozens of froggy faces turning towards the entrance where Amaryllis stood, hands on hips and face set in a furious scowl. She scanned the room and I could pinpoint the exact moment she spotted Gabriel because her arm shot up and she pointed to the man.Gabriel was sitting by the bar, a few empty cups before him and his big flabby cheeks tinted a nice rosey colour. The patrons around him edged away from him as Amaryllis spoke up. “You! You toad-skinned, no good bastard!”I walked in behind her and waved at all the nice grenoil sitting around and watching the show.“Come here you slimy jerk!” Amaryllis said as she stomped across the entire floor, grabbed Gabriel by the scruff of his jacket and dragged him off to the back of the inn. There were little booths to the side, but she walked right past those and straight up the stairs, presumably to reach the rooms upstairs. Gabriel started to fuss and fight a bit, but his swings were all wild and not very strong, and Amaryllis had a lot of pent up rage fueling her.“Ah,” I said the moment they disappeared at the top of the stairs. Every eye turned to me. “I’m sorry about my friend,” I said. “We had a bit of a day, you know? So, um, I heard some nice music from outside, who was playing that?” I smiled at them all.No one answered, but they did return to their meals and beers and I heard more than one person speculating on what Gabriel had done to earn a young girl’s wrath.In the corner, a large grenoil man started to blow into a strange sort of bagpipe while another pulled up an accordion and a third started plucking the strings of what sounded like a stand-up bass but looked like a very large fiddle.I wanted to stare some more, but I heard a bang from upstairs and decided not to dilly dally too much.“Oi!” the grenoil behind the counter said. “If she breaks anything you’re paying for it!”“Yes sir!” I said before taking the steps two at a time.The top of the stairs opened into a cozy lounging area, though it was empty save for one grenoil that looked to be knocked out on a couch. One of the bedroom doors was wide open and I could see Amaryllis shaking Gabriel within.“Tell me! Tell me who paid you off you slimegoblin, you lily-livered amphibastard bug-eating... mudlicker!”I blinked as I tried to parse what she was saying. I was quite certain that at least half of those had been hideously speciest. “Um,” I said as I walked into the room and placed a hand on Amaryllis shoulder. “It’s okay? Maybe don’t kill him? Please?”Amaryllis puffed up. Literally. Her feathers poofed upwards and even her hair stood on end a little. She suddenly looked twice as big as she had, but it was all fluff. “He betrayed me!” she squawked.I slapped a hand over my mouth, but it was too late, a giggle had already escaped.She turned her glare onto me. “What are you laughing about?” she asked.I couldn’t keep it in. Maybe because I was tired, or because of the long day, but when she turned towards me all I could think of was the little ‘pomf’ sound her feathers made.I bent over double, hands clutching at the sides of my tummy.Amaryllis puffed up even more. “Why are you laughing?” she demanded.Gabriel started to croak too. “Ya look like a rooster,” he said.“I do not!” Amaryllis said.But she did.Gabriel and I looked at each other and we both started laughing together. It took Amaryllis stomping her foot and calling us both all sorts of foul things for an entire minute for the two of us to calm down.“Now,” Gabriel began as he wiped an eye clear of tears. “What’s zis about a betrayal? I haven’t drunk enough to deal wiz your snitty attitude.”“Someone tried to kidnap Amaryllis,” I said.“Oh. Well zey didn’t succeed,” Gabriel said.“Not just someone,” Amaryllis said. “Cervid mercenaries. They were after me specifically.”Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.That sobbered the grenoil up a bit. “Zat’s bad news. Cervids on zis side of the border means zat zey’ve found a way to cross over wizout being spotted. Not zat ze patrols have been all that sharp lately. You sure?”“Of course I’m sure,” Amaryllis said. “If it wasn’t for Broccoli I’d be halfway to Manamere by now, or wherever they wanted to ransom me from.”“Our ship back to Port Royal is passing early tomorrow,” Gabriel said as he moved over to the room’s bed and sat down. “It’s meant to wait for all of us to board before heading out. We can get on it first zing in ze morning and move back to Port Royal. I’ll leave a missive wiz ze mayor of Green Hold. Cervids... zat’s bad news.”“They were here for Amaryllis,” I said. I didn’t know the whole context with the cervids and the grenoil yet, but I could guess. Fort Frogger had been built to watch for an invasion a long time ago, so obviously there was some bad blood there. “Someone had to know where we would be.”“Broccoli’s right,” Amaryllis said.“Well, I just got my mission parameters from Rainnewt. Didn’t much care for zem since babysitting missions like zis one aren’t my sort of zing,” Gabriel said.“Tch. Come on Broccoli, we’ll get a room and set up a watch for the night,” Amaryllis said as she walked out.I looked after her departing back then over to Gabriel. “Sorry about that, she’s a bit stressed,” I said. “By the way, drinking while on the job is very rude.”“Bah, piss off kid,” Gabriel said. He let himself fall backwards onto the bed and I just hoped that it was his as I walked out and shut the door behind me.I followed Amaryllis back downstairs. It felt that, ever since we had arrived in Green Hold, Amaryllis had taken the reins and was tugging me along. It was okay for now, but I had kind of gotten used to the idea that I was the mistress of my own fate. I would need to think about it some more and maybe set some boundaries with Amaryllis before she decided to drag me into something I didn’t want to be part of. Peer pressure was not okay, after all.I found Amaryllis talking to the innkeeper. She placed a handful of silver on the counter and received a pair of keys. She tossed one over to me. “We have a room on the third floor,” she said.“Together?” I asked.“I would usually prefer my own room, but seeing what happened today, I think bunking together would be for the best,” she said.“Right, if something happens we’ll be two fighting it off,” I said.She nodded. “I’m heading up now, are you coming?”“I’m going to grab something to eat first,” I said.She shrugged her shoulders, and I noticed that at some point her feathers had unpoofed themselves and were back to laying flat across her arms. “Suit yourself. Knock twice and call out your name before entering. I’m going to set a spell on the door.”“Zat spell of her's had better not damage my door,” the innkeeper said.I smiled and pulled up a chair. “I know it’s a bit late, but are you still serving supper?” I asked.“Aye, we are,” the innkeep said. “What’ll you have?”“Something filling,” I said. “Um, but no bugs.”“Bah, humans,” the innkeep said before he waddled off to the back. I fetched a handful of coppers out of my backpack while he was gone and had them waiting in a neat stack by the time he returned and placed a tray before me.It was simple fare. Some chicken, some potatoes and gravy and a few other veggies to the side. Still, it smelled good and the glass of milk he set next to it was chilled to the touch. Did they have magic to keep food fresh? It would make sense.“So, you’re wiz ze exploration guild like zat scoundred Gabriel?”“Yup, but I’m not a scoundrel,” I said as I dug in.The innkeep laughed. “You don’t look ze sort, no. I’m Jules, ze owner of zis fine hole in ze wall.”“Ah, I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch. Sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I was hungry and a bit nervous. What’s the name of your inn?”“Zis is the Croak and Stagger,” Jules said with obvious pride. “My grandpa was a rogue with ze army for some time. Build zis inn, married my grandmozer and my family lived here ever since.”“That’s a sweet story,” I said. I took a sip of the milk. It was a little strange tasting, but maybe it was just not pasteurized, so I fired a bit of cleaning magic into it just in case. “Hey, Jules, could you tell me anything about the cervid?”“Ze cervid? Zose no good horse-wannabes? Bah. Can’t tell you too much. Zeir entire nation is bent on taking up as much space as zey can. Weird folk. Not a good one in ze lot of zem.”I didn’t believe that, but I wasn’t about to say so aloud. “Is it true they came here once?”“Zey certainly tried. But we gave zem a good thrashing and zey never tried again, ze cowards couldn’t handle a bit of a tussle in ze mud.”“Hrm, so if there were cervid around now it would be unusual, wouldn’t it?” I wondered.Jules looked at me long and hard. “Yes, yes it would be.”I finished the last of my milk and set the cup aside, then brushed the back of my hand across my mouth to get rid of my milk mustache. “Thanks Jules, the meal was super good. See you in the morning!”“Aye, I’ll make sure your breakfast is just as good,” the innkeep said as I stood off the stool and made my way upstairs. I had a lot to think on, and some sleep to catch up on. I hoped that half a night’s rest would be enough.
* * *
Chapter Fifty-Eight — Opportunity Comes Kicking
Chapter Fifty-Eight — Opportunity Comes Kicking My second ride on an airship was nothing like the first. The Silver Boot had been a naval-looking ship with a magical means of lift and propulsion. It wasn’t meant to fly, but it did so anyway and with a lot of panache and flair.The airship that hovered just over Green Hold and which we boarded via some dropped rope ladders was nothing like that. Its name, the Marshy Gas-Bag, was proudly emblazoned on its cloth sides and on the small nacelle at the bottom of it. The entire vessel was a huge greenish grey balloon, oblong and pointed at both ends with a few engines in boxy protrusions at its sides.It was more of a Zeppelin than a flying boat. If it wasn’t for the bluish smoke pouring out of its four motors I could have imagined it back on Earth way back when people still flew in style instead of all cramped in the passenger seats of a jet.I sort of wished that the experiences I had aboard the Silver Boot would repeat, with a cool captain showing me around, but we were greeted by a harried looking grenoil First Mate who showed us to our rooms then ran off to get the ship ready to depart.So I found myself waiting in a tiny lounge, too small for the five tense occupants within, and with chairs that weren’t all that comfortable. The only saving grace were the windows looking out of the sides of the ship, seeing the world roll by beneath was always a treat, especially from inside a warm room with no wind in my face.I sat with my knees crossed and Orange on my lap and, after some poking and prodding, got the twins to spill out the details of their adventure. Not that it was all that adventurous an adventure. Unlike Amaryllis and I, their mission had gone on without a hitch. They had been surprised by the slimes at night, but Florine was a Marsh Wizard in a marsh so he took care of them.When I had exhausted that bit of discussion I tried prying some things out of Amaryllis, but she was busy glaring at Gabriel who, in turn, was busy nursing what I suspect was a hangover.In the end I ended up resting my head against the cool glass of the window, fingers rubbing at Orange until the lack of sleep and yesterday’s adventure caught up with me and the world slowly, gently went dark. I was serenaded to sleep by the rocking of the airship and the distant rumble of its engines.Something touched my shoulder and I snapped awake, the momentary confusion as to where I was fading away when I saw Amaryllis standing above me. She had Orange tucked into the crook of a wing and my backpack was slung over the opposite shoulder. “Hey, you. Good, you’re awake,” she said.“Eh?” I asked. I twisted around to look at the landscape beyond the window only to find that it had been replaced wholesale by the bustling docks of Port Royal. Our ship was floating next to a sort of vertical pier,part of what was essentially a parking garage, but for airships. Ropes were latched to the side and grenoil in harnesses moved over to check the surface of the balloon or do other maintenanc-y things.“Oh,” I said. “How long did I sleep for?”“Three or so hours? Maybe a bit more. The height makes it hard to tell how the sun’s moving,” Amaryllis said.“Right.” I got up and stretched, rubbing my neck to work out the pang that had grown in it. We were alone in the lounge area, which might have explained why Amaryllis looked so eager to get a move on. “Lead the way?”“We can talk while we walk,” Amaryllis said.I agreed with a nod, then followed her as she led me through the ship and onto a ramp that reached over to the port proper. There was a customs agent of sorts waiting at the bottom of the ramp, but one look at the pin on my bandoleer and the one Amaryllis wore on her belt and we were let through.“I’m... sorry about last night,” Amaryllis said. “I lost my temper and that was inappropriate.”“Okay,” I said. I didn't like it when she acted that angry, but I could understand where she came from. The apology was nice, though it did feel as if she was trying to put some distance between us with it.“That kidnapping attempt was suspicious. Obviously. It wasn’t done by my family. They wouldn’t have sent cervids after me. Which means it came from elsewhere. I don’t think anyone but the guild and the bank would be able to tell where I was at the time, and only the guild knew where I would be ahead of time, which has some very disturbing implications.”“You didn’t tell your family where you would be?” I asked. I wasn’t going to fling rocks from my glass house, I hadn’t exactly told my family that I was heading off on a grand adventure either, but I was curious about her homelife.“That is unimportant,” Amaryllis said.She walked through the docks as if she owned the place, her fierce scowl clearing the path before us until we were out of the docks and onto the streets proper. The Port Royal smell hit me then and I had to hold back a gag.“Lovely,” Amaryllis drawled like someone that had just stepped in dog poop. “It’s traditional that the director of the guild be there to greet a team returning from their first mission. I intend to get to the bottom of this.”“You mean Mister Rainnewt?” I asked.“Who?”“The man that worked at the guild,” I said. “Tall, human. Kind of nice?”“No, that man’s just some sort of clerk or administrator, he’s a paper pusher,” Amaryllis said.“He’s the one that assigned me as your partner,” I said. I didn’t want to think ill of someone, but I couldn’t help but begin to think that Mister Rainnewt was just a little suspicious now. Hopefully it was all just some horrible accident and my imagination was running wild, but it wouldn’t hurt to verify.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.Trust a whole lot, but verify anyway, my dad used to say.It was usually about the price of groceries but I think it counted here too.I got to see a part of Port Royal that I hadn’t visited yet as Amaryllis took us up one set of stairs, then another. We crossed arches made of rattling pipes and then into an area where the homes were far larger and seemed to have been carved out of the mountain itself and then had flowers and gardens planted around them to add embellishments. There were more guards here, and yet fewer people on the streets.I wanted to gawk around a bit like the tourist I was, but Amaryllis was setting the pace and she was relentless.We marched onto Guild Row, coming onto the street from the opposite end than I was used to and walked down to the front of the Exploration Guild.“Let me handle this,” Amaryllis said as we reached the doors.I had a bad feeling all of a sudden as she raised one taloned foot and kicked the door.Her foot bonked against the solid wood and barely rattled it.Amaryllis’ face went an interesting shade of painful-white as she lowered her foot, but she didn’t say anything as she reached up and opened the door properly before limping in.I expected a crowd in the lobby, but it was completely empty save for the grenoil secretary behind the counter at the far end of the room.“Where are Gabriel and the twins?” I asked.“That’s what I want to know,” Amaryllis said. She stomped her way across the lobby and to the desk. “Hello. Do you know where the team that just returned is?”The secretary looked up from a stack of papers and blinked a few times. “In the lounge, I believe, with the director.”“Good,” Amaryllis said before turning to the left and stalking off.“Thank you, and have a nice day!” I called out to the befuddled secretary as I followed my friend.Amaryllis seemed to know where she was going because she didn’t so much as pause until she arrived at another door. She poked this one a few times, glared at the door frame set into a stone wall, then nodded to herself.“Oh no,” I said as she took a step back.This time when she kicked the door open it crashed into the wall, splinters flying where the frame busted and the pretty ivory capped handle went ballistic.Amaryllis stepped into a room that was arranged to look a little like a cross between a lounge and an inn’s main room. There were tables and chairs all over, a huge hearth on one side with the skull of what might have been a dragon over the mantle, a stuffed six-legged bear looked tall in one corner and there was a bar at the far wall.There was a persistent smell in the air, like strong alcohol, but more refined, mixed with a thick herbal scent that I suspected came from the men sitting off in one corner enjoying cigars while staring at the spectacle that Amaryllis was starting.Gabriel and the twins were closer to the middle of the room, talking to a Grenoil woman that was surprisingly short for a female grenoil, at least, as far as I could tell. She had a long scar running across her face from just above an eye to below her mouth, it made her lips curl up strangely to the side.She raised the ridges above one eye as she looked to Amaryllis. “You’re paying for that door,” she said without a hint of a grenoil accent.“Come on, Mathy, let the lass have some fun. It’s just a pinch of destruction of private property,” A big human sitting off to the side said while waving a cigar around.“Shut it, Abraham,” the woman, presumably called Mathy barked across the room. She turned back to the pair of us and I could feel her eyeing me up and down for a moment. “So, you’ve made your entrance, Miss Albatross. What I hear from Gabriel is concerning enough, but I’d like your version of things.”Amaryllis stood a little taller and I noticed that her feathers were starting to puff. “Our mission parameters were simple. I imagine you know what those were; we were to scout around Fort Frogger to the North-East of Deepmarsh. Our initial journey went without issue. The Fort was and is occupied by a single man who has been inhabiting the region for some time, I presume. After completing our objective we started trekking back towards Green Hold to report.”“Haha! I can hear the stories she’s not telling you, Mathy,” the big Abraham guy said.I didn’t speak up. I appreciated that Amaryllis wasn’t saying anything about Gunther and Throat Ripper already. I didn’t need to ruin it by opening my mouth.“What happened before doesn’t matter,” Amaryllis said. “It’s what happened when we were crossing a bridge that’s concerning. We were waylaid by kidnappers on the road.”The Mathy lady made a dismissive sound. “Bandits? I’ll report it to the guard and-”“No bandits,” Amaryllis said. “Kidnappers. Six of them, with military equipment. All six were cervid using false names, unless the cervid have taken to calling their children numbers while I wasn’t paying attention.”The room had resettled to a sort of calm after Amaryllis’ entrance, the men returning to their cigars and the few women around speaking in low murmurs. Of the dozen or so people in the room, only a couple actually seemed to care at first, but Amaryllis' declaration had all of them paying attention.Mathy croaked. “I see. In that case, let’s talk in my office. Just you, Gabriel, and I, Miss Albatross. Abe, make sure the... other one stays here. She might be complicit in this whole thing too.”I noticed all the suspicious looks turning my way and gulped.
* * *
Chapter Fifty-Nine — LORD ABRAHAM BRISTLECONE!
Chapter Fifty-Nine — LORD ABRAHAM BRISTLECONE! I was super curious about what was happening with the Mathy lady and Amaryllis and Gabriel, but it seemed as if I wasn’t wanted, and snooping was so far from polite that I didn’t give the idea more than a passing thought. Instead I just stood in the middle of the lounge room and shifted my weight from foot to foot, uncertain as to what to do next.Then Abraham saved me.“Oi, girlie, come on and sit with us old timers. You’ll pretty up our corner of the room just by being here and you won’t wear a hole in the floor, haha!”I smiled, my reservations melting as Abraham’s gregarious voice boomed across the room. He gestured to an unoccupied seat made of dark wood with big fluffy cushions. It was quite similar to his own throne-like seat, though with fewer stuffed animals surrounding it.“Now, what brings a young lass like you to this backwards port?”“Um,” I said. “Adventure, mostly.”“Haha!” Abraham roared. “A girl after my own heart. Oh, I do love a spot of adventure in the morning, then a bit of exploration in the afternoon and maybe a bit of a tussle with some big beastie in the evening. That’s the true man’s life! Isn’t that right boys?”The other men sitting around the hearth weren’t all so... Abraham-like, but they looked wiry and dangerous in their own ways. All of them were older, and all of them had a scar or two on their hands or faces. The nearest, a grenoil with a wrinkly nose, shook his head in exasperation.Abraham himself looked like... well he looked like Santa Clause if Santa hit the gym six days a week and spent the last day prowling around in the savannah looking for a lion to wrestle. He even had a pith helmet!“I overheard a little about your adventure with those deer lads from out East. Oh, that reminds me of that time the princess of Manamere got her grubby hands on an ancient Crys statuette and I was tasked to fetch it. I spent a whole week crawling on my hands and knees across the Trenten Flats themselves, then I snuck in through the royal privy pipes until I was in the castle proper. Found the princess too. Poor lass got quite the fright when I stuck my head out in her private toiletry room. Haha!”I held back a giggle and sat on the edge of the seat. “Then what happened?” I asked.There was a chorus of ‘oh no’ from the old men around us, but they were wearing secretive little smiles of their own, especially when Abraham lit up as if I had just announced that it was his birthday.“And then, lass, I climbed out of the bowl, quite the stench on me, let me tell you. Cervid sewers make the ol’ Port Royal perfume smell like fresh roses. The princess beat me on the head a few times. Sollid whaps of her little princess-y make up kit. Haha! It didn’t help the smell any!”“Oh no!”“Oh yes indeed little miss. But no fear! It takes more than some perfume flung into his face to take out the great Abraham Bristlecone!” He tugged his big manly mustache, the sort I would no doubt have if I were a cool old man instead of the exact opposite. “I ran out of the little princess’s room, without harming one hair on her furry little hide of course, I’m a gentleman, not some lowlife ruffian! Then I was accosted by the royal guard and we had ourselves a bit of a scrap! Tough fight too, all I could carry with me in the sewers were my knickers and a spoon!”I slapped my hands over my mouth. “Were you caught?” I gasped.“Haha! No one catches Abraham, not unless he wants it!” he declared before giving me a wink. “I ran off the guard, defeated Folsom the Spear Champion himself and left the boy covered in spoon wounds. Then I raced off into the princess’ quarters and found the Crys statuette. Then it was up to the roof where Raynald here was pissing his britches.”The old grenoil snorted. “No sane man would execute a plan that involved skimming over an enemy’s castle roof with a ship as clunky as your Shady Lady,” he said.“It was a perfect plan!” Abraham said.“You exited right next to all of their anti-dragon siege equipment!” Raynold shot right back.I had the impression the fight was rehashed a few times already. “How did you guys make it out if there was a bunch of anti-dragon stuff around?” I asked.Raynold stopped and, when Abraham went to talk, flung a wooden cigar box at the man’s head to shush him up. It bounced off without so much as making Abraham flinch. “Ah, let me explain this one, Abe, the little miss might actually learn something, unlike with most of your sordid tales.”“Hah!” Abraham said. “You’re merely envious that my life was a little exciting, you damned paper-pusher!”Raynold shook his head. “You see Miss...”“Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch,” I said.“Miss Bunch. Most cities that install the kind of weapons needed to fight off threats in the air expect them to come from the air. But I, being both brighter and less keen on suicide than Abe here, calculated their firing arcs and discovered that the primitive canons the cervids use couldn’t depress low enough... that is, they couldn’t fire downwards. I merely needed to guide our air skimmer through the widest roads in the city and over some of the walls.”“You tore off half the rudder,” Abraham complained.“That chimney moved!”The two started to bicker back and forth over which one of them was the greater fool. I didn’t like seeing friends argue, even if it didn’t seem like it was in bad faith. “Did you accomplish your mission?” I asked.“Oh-hoh!” Abraham said as he cut himself off halfway through the act of flinging the cigar box back at Raynold “Did we ever! Have you seen the Screaming Mountains, little Bunch?”“No, what are they?” I asked.“They’re these mountains, far off to the Southeast and just off the continent. The people there are made of crystal and when the sun rises they begin to hum. By the time midday hits a man can hardly hear himself think!”This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.I wanted to ask Abraham for some more tales, because his stories so far had been wonderful, but Amaryllis and the others chose that moment to walk back into the lounge area. Amaryllis was wearing a smug grin, Gabriel looked like he needed a stiffer drink than usual, and the Mathy lady looked like she was a step away from tearing someone’s head off.Then she locked eyes on me. “You’re still here?” she asked.“Yes ma’am,” I said as I got back onto my feet.“Hmm, good. Gabriel, get the girl a coin-purse. Standard mission pay, then show her out.”It took a moment for the words, and their meaning, to register. Was I being kicked out of the guild? “Is this because I haven’t paid yet? Mister Rainnewt implied it was okay to pay when I returned.”“No, it’s because you’re a liability. You should never have been allowed to join anyway,” the woman said.“What are you talking about?” Amaryllis said. “She’s perfect for this guild. She even saved my life.”“Be that as it may,” she continued, “Her level is far too low, her class doesn’t seem suitable to the work, and with the amount of suspicion going around it’s wiser to show her out than to keep a possible snake amongst the tadpoles.”Amaryllis squawked. “Fine! If Broccoli can’t join your guild, then I’m heading out too!”The grenoil woman stood a little taller at that. “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. Your parents-”“Will hear all about your incompetence,” Amaryllis interrupted. “The only one here that managed to actually help me was her,” she said while pointing right at me. “I’m not going to let you just... get rid of her.”The woman’s eyes narrowed. “You’re making a spectacle of this.”“And yet the only clown here is you,” Amaryllis shot back.Mathy looked ready to tear Amaryllis’ head off when Abraham cleared his throat. “Care to share with the rest of us, Mathy?”“My name is Mathide, Abraham,” the woman said. Abraham’s mustache twitched and I suspected he was trying not to smile. “And I suspect we have... had a spy in our midst. Has anyone seen Rainnewt?”There was a long moment of silence that seemed to say ‘no.’“World damn us all,” she muttered.“So, because of that skinny little snake you’re going to punish poor Broccoli here?” Abraham asked.I took a small step back as Mathide looked my way. The woman was downright terrifying. “It’s okay?” I said. I couldn’t just let everyone else speak over me. “I really wanted to join your guild, but if you won’t have me, I can just... go?”“No, you can’t,” Amaryllis said. She was glaring at the back of Mathilde’s head as if she could set it on fire with her eyes alone.“How about a compromise then?” Abraham asked. He pulled the cigar box-now resting on his lap— open and took out a cigar. A snap of his fingers had a small flame dancing on his index which he used to slowly light the cigar. “If the girls need to be safe... well, I happen to be heading out west, to Greenshade. I can take them with me and drop them off at the guild there. It’s about as far from Trenten as you can get without running through the desert or swimming the sea.”Mathilde frowned at that before she turned to Amaryllis. “Would that be acceptable? The Exploration Guild branch there is smaller, but there’s plenty of work to be had. I’ll even let you bring your human friend here if you trust her so much.”“I do, and it is,” Amaryllis said.“Hoh-ho! Abraham Bristlecone, saving the day once more! And I didn’t even need to stand up for it. Raynold, fetch me a glass of that scotch you’ve been hiding away!”“Jump off a cliff,” Raynold said.I raised a hand, just like I had been taught to do in class and waited for Mathilde and Amaryllis to both look my way. “Um, I’m sorry, but what exactly is going on?”Amaryllis was the first to answer. “Rainnewt has gone missing. He accepted you as a member without going through the proper channels and is the one who arranged all the missions. Mathilde here thinks he’s some sort of troublemaker. I think he ought to be hanged for trying to have me kidnapped. This so-called leader here thinks the solution is to kick you out of the Guild even though you’ve done more work to stop their own mistakes than anyone else. I, as a person that isn’t an idiot, am keen on pointing out how utterly devoid of sense that is.”Mathide croaked and it didn’t sound all that happy. “We’ll get to the bottom of it, Miss Albatross. If the Exploration Guild is good at one thing it’s discovering things.” she looked my way. “Miss Bunch... I wish we had met under better circumstances.”I smiled right back. “It’s never too late to become friends, and I think I understand why you, um, tried to kick me out. It’s okay.”“Too damned nice,” Amaryllis muttered.“Right-oh!” Abraham said as he jumped to his feet with surprising spryness. “The Shady Lady will be ready to depart first thing in the morning. You ladies just need to ask around to find it. It’s like a small adventure!”Things were moving a little fast, but I nodded anyway and tried on an even bigger smile for size.From what I could tell the business with Mister Rainnewt was suspect. He had seemed nice, but nice people didn’t kidnap girls, to say the least. It kind of soured my impressions of the guild a little bit, but going on an adventure of sorts with Mister Bristlecone sounded like a jolly good time. That, and Amaryllis had stepped up to defend me, which.. Well, I had happy little butterflies fluttering in my tummy at the thought.“That doesn’t leave us much time,” Amaryllis said. “Come on Broccoli, let’s go. We have things that need doing before we set off.”“Oh, um, right. See you tomorrow then, Mister Bristlecone?” I asked.“Sure thing, young Miss!”
* * *
Chapter Sixty — Pretty Dresses
Chapter Sixty — Pretty Dresses Exiting the Exploration Guild building was like dropping a heavy load off my back. Suddenly I went from being scrutinized and under someone’s careful watch to entirely free to do as I wanted in the space of a few steps.“Whaa, that was stressful,” I complained to the open skies. Even the stinky Port Royal air was more welcome than the tension in the Guild.Amaryllis shifted next to me. “That it was,” she agreed. “We should head out. We have a lot of things to buy and only one day to do so.”“Buy?” I repeated. “I was thinking I would go to an inn. There’s a nice one in the East quarter, the owner’s a sort of friend.”“That’s fine, but the day is still young and you need better equipment,” Amaryllis said. “That spear is... usable, but you’re carrying a shovel as a weapon. I don’t think I need to tell you why that isn’t the brightest idea.”“But I like my shovel,” I said. I wanted to grab my shovel and hug it safe, but it was on my back, so instead I hugged Orange who was trying to shuffle her way out of my bandoleer. The poor kitty was already growing too big for the biggest pouch I had.“We can get you a sword, or perhaps a dagger. Though those are traditional Harpy weapons. Humans like heavier blunt weapons, right? Maybe a warhammer? We’ll get you something nice and proper.” She started walking downhill towards the areas that I knew had more shops in them, so hiking up my backpack I jogged after her.“Amaryllis,” I said. “We’re friends right?” I asked.“I... yes, we’re friends,” she said. She didn’t sound completely sure, but I suspected there was a good reason for that. Amaryllis struck me as the sort of girl that had never had that many real friends. Which meant that it was up to me to teach her the joys of friendship!“Amaryllis. Friends don’t make friends do things. Not unless those things are vitally important. I like my shovel, and unless it’s putting me and you at risk, there’s nothing wrong with it.”The harpy slowed to a stop. Her face was blank for a while, then she huffed. “Well, fine, you can keep the shovel I suppose. But that armour of yours...”“It’s been good for me,” I said as I looked down at my gambeson. It looked nice enough.“It’s clean, certainly, but it's got holes and cuts all across it, and I can’t feel a single enchantment on the entire piece.”I blinked. “There’s enchanted clothes? Wait, no, of course there’s enchanted clothes. That’s brilliant! What sort of enchantments are there?”Amaryllis resumed walking, this time with her nose inching up into the air. “That depends entirely on the quality and age of the garb. That and the ability of the craftsman. There are a few good stores even in a backwater like Port Royal that ought to have something serviceable.”I felt a grin growing. Shopping did sound like a good way to get rid of some stress. Plus I could find some totally awesome new stuff to wear while we gossiped. “Is it really a backwater?” I asked as I looked around. Port Royal seemed pretty big and pretty new. The buildings were all well-maintained and the area had a vibrancy to it that made it feel active and alive.“It’s not the worst place. The smell could certainly be improved upon. But compared to the likes of Farseeing or Fort Sylphrot this is a quaint little city. The grenoil truly are trying their best but their culture is still... lesser.”I hummed as I thought about that. It sounded a little... a lot racist. But maybe it wasn’t entirely wrong. Maybe this area was like a third world country compared to the rest of the world and I was just too ignorant to know any better. “I guess it is kind of... old fashioned.”“Yes, I suppose it would be, even to you.”I shook my head at that. “I think you’d be kind of amazed by the sorts of things we have back home,” I said. “I know that I sometimes miss the internet and phones... and toilets.”Amaryllis laughed, high-pitched and birdlike. “I suppose some amenities are missed no matter where you’re from. The Nesting Kingdom has these great big bathhouses that I sorely miss.”“I haven’t taken a bath since I came here,” I said. “Or a shower. I’ve been meaning to but... well, there’s always more adventuring to do.”Amaryllis scoffed. “If we visit my home one day, I’ll show you the bathhouses; you’ll certainly enjoy them. The better ones have professional preeners. It’s excellent. Though I suppose they couldn’t do much for you.”I shrugged. “So, um, back to enchantments.” Conversations were always speeding past the sorts of things I wanted to know.“They’re a way to twist ambient mana into a specific shape. Essentially constantly casting a weak spell,” Amaryllis explained.I touched the collar around my neck. Was there a spirit-kitty summoning spell out there? Was there one for puppies? I had so many important things to learn still.Amaryllis seemed to know where she was going and led us across Central and to a small side street filled with shops laid out in a rough circle around a large fountain appropriately filled with statues of frogs.There were people standing around or sitting on benches, lots of grenoil ladies in big dresses and men in suits carrying canes. I couldn’t help but gawk a little at the people passing by, though I did try to keep it to a minimum.A human lady walking past us pulled up a black and green speckled handkerchief and pressed it to her nose as she strutted past. It wouldn’t have really caught my attention except the pattern on her handkerchief was distinct, and the moment it came to my attention I was suddenly seeing it everywhere. Ascotts and those little puffs of cloth in men’s breast pockets, even the lace of the dresses we passed were made of the same material.Fortunately, I had an Amaryllis to help. “What’s with all those similar clothes?” I asked.“Ah, you noticed that?” Amaryllis said. She lifted her neck a little to look extra haughty. “It’s a product from the city’s dungeon. Some sort of cloth dropped by the monsters that occupy the first floors. The material is pulled out by the cartload every day and the locals have taken to wearing it.”That.. sort of made sense. “Does that happen a lot?”Amaryllis shrugged a shoulder. “It depends on what the dungeon makes. There’s a dungeon in one of the independent cities where the first level monsters drop knives once in a while. Everyone there has the same sort of knife. They’re practically free.”If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.“Huh,” I said. I was from a world where things were always, by necessity, made or grown or at the very least gathered. Things didn’t just... spawn from monsters. I already had some things just like that on me, but I hadn’t thought to connect that to the economic repercussions of easy to obtain and somewhat free... stuff.“Here we are,” Amaryllis said as she stopped before a shop. Unlike the others in the square (was it a square if it was round?) this store didn’t have mannequins in pretty dresses and nice suits, but instead had leather armours and tough-looking but handy clothes on display. There were even heavier things like plate and mail sets within.“I kind of expected a blacksmith for armour-related things,” I said.“Only if you want to be weighted down all the time. Us harpies can’t afford to be lumbering brutes like you humans,” Amaryllis said. “This place has good equipment. Quality stuff.”The shop didn’t exactly look like the kind of place where I would find a good bargain. Still, I followed when Amaryllis stepped in.The inside smelled like leather and oils and a bit like perfume, as if the owner wanted to fight off the city’s stench. There were lanterns hanging over displays, but unlike the stores back home there weren’t that many things on sale compared to the size of the main floor.A pair of grenoil at the back were measuring a customer’s arm length, one of them taking notes while the other worked the tape, and an older grenoil lady wearing an apron over a sundress was manning the counter off to one side. This last was the one to step up when we entered. “Hello and welcome to ze Rising Shield, how can I help you?”“My friend here needs some better equipment,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, and you should get a bandoleer,” I added. “Nearly everyone else at the guild has one.”“Explorers!” the old grenoil lady said. “Excellent. We have all sorts of zings zat will keep you safe, warm and fashionable in any deep dungeon or far off land.”I was already enjoying my shopping experience more than most of the times I’d gone shopping back home.“What do you suggest?” I asked.The grenoil lady looked me up and down. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”“I don’t.”“In zat case. How do you fight, how do you move and what is your position on your team?”“Um. I don’t fight very well. I do have a makeshift weapon proficiency and a lot of Cleaning magic for that undead and such. I move a lot by jumping, it’s one of my best skills. As for my position, I want to be the ranged DPS.”“A what?” Amaryllis asked before her eyes narrowed. “Is that one of the strange things from your... home?”“Yup,” I said.“I zink I see,” the grenoil lady said. With that, she moved back to the counter and opened up a large book, one filled with images. She looked back up to me a few times, then back down to the book.“What is she doing?” I muttered to Amaryllis. I didn’t want to interrupt the lady, but I was starting to get weirded out a little.“She’s creating an outfit,” Amaryllis said. “It’s what good tailors do.”“From scratch?” I asked. “What about all the things on display?”“Zose,” the lady said without so much as looking up. “Are pieces zat are ready for some discerning clients and ze occasional experimental piece. Now, what do you zink of zis?” She turned the book over and revealed a sketch of an outfit.It was simple enough, a leather chest piece over a tight cloth gambeson that flared out at the bottom into a nice skirt. The sleeves were big and poofy and the armour seemed to incorporate a bandoleer already. There was a single pauldron over the left shoulder and a matching steel plate on the right hip. “Whoa,” I said.“Ah, my eye hasn’t failed me yet,” she said. “Zis is a simple enough outfit. Ze skirt makes it a little unusual but some young ladies seem to favour zem. Ze price is for ze unenchanted version.”Price? I looked over the page, then found a number at the bottom right and almost winced. One lesser gold, two pure silver. That was a fair amount of my gold. “How much do the enchantments cost? And what sort can you provide?”“On a piece zat’s so new? It’s not very expensive.”“New?” I repeated.Amaryllis huffed next to me, it was her ‘of course you don’t know’ huff. “The older something is the more resistant it is to magical changes. The harder it is to add something like an enchantment to it.”“Is that why Insight tells me the age of equipment?” I asked.“Yes, actually.”The grenoil lady picked up right where she had left off. “As for enchantments, ze most popular ones are durability and cleanliness. We can also make the cloth fireproof or wick off humidity. Zere are mana absorption enchantments as well. If you want somzing specific you need just ask and we can find an enchanter for a fee.”“I think the fireproofing, durability and mana absorption would be best for you,” Amaryllis said. “No need for the cleanliness enchantments, of course, and the more specialized kinds of enchantments are all rather, well, specialized.”“Ah, okay,” I said. “Can you tell me how much those three would cost?”“Zree enchantments working concurrently, and none zat use ze same spell structure? Zat would be...” She scribbled some notes on a looseleaf, then opened a smaller book and raced through it, occasionally stopping to make a mark on the side. “Zat will be... two lesser gold, and seventeen sil.”“That’s just for the enchantments?” I asked.“Zat’s right.”“Ah, well, I think that I can’t-”“We’ll take it,” Amaryllis said. “But only if you can have it all ready within the next two hours.”I almost choked. “H-hey, I don’t have that kind of money,” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “I’m well aware. I, on the other hand, am not some poor peasant like you and do have some gold to my name. Consider it a gift for not letting me get kidnapped and ransomed.”“Ah, but it’s too much!” I said.“Don’t be an idiot, this is nothing. And now you’ll at least look like you can stand next to me without being an embarrassment with that torn up armour of yours.”“Well zen miss, all zat’s left is for you to pick ze colour.”
Chapter Sixty-One — Spending the Night Inn
Chapter Sixty-One — Spending the Night Inn I spun to make my new skirt flare out, as one does, and then giggled as I went dizzy for just a moment.It was a very pretty skirt and deserved to be spun a whole lot. The lady in the shop had given me a whole selection of colours, and while some were sensible and even reasonable to wear while out adventuring, I couldn’t help but pick a bright blue. It was the same pale hue as the sky a moment after the sun rose on a cloudless morning and I loved it.“Stop doing that, you idiot, you’re going to run into the path of a cart and you’ll ruin your new dress when you cover it in your bloody remains,” Amaryllis said.I stopped myself in the act of preparing for another spin, then patted down my skirts. “Right!”The armoured cuirass squeezed everything in place while emphasising other things, and the thick cloth armour beneath somehow managed to be fairly loose and flexible and soft. It probably helped that a couple of weeks of running around and fighting for my life and walking for what felt like hundreds of kilometers had done away with the little bit of tummy I had come into the world with.Not that I was vain or anything, but I did now have the beginnings of a six-pack and that was something to be proud of. My friends back on Earth had always told me boys were into that sort of thing, which meant I was putting all of the chances on my side that I’d find a nice husband. Also, I bet I could do so many sit-ups!“So, what’s next?” I asked as I walked next to Amaryllis. “I have some coins left, we could go and grab a bite to eat, or we could buy some more books.”Amaryllis looked up to the skies which were just starting to turn pinkish. “Perhaps it would be best to head back to an inn. I have a bit of research to do and we skipped both breakfast and lunch. I can stand to go a day without eating but I’d really rather not.”We walked past a street vendor who was hawking ‘genuine Brackland beetles’ that were fried in some sort of oil. “I know a nice inn,” I said. “They even make food without bugs in it.”“That is a good selling point,” Amaryllis admitted. “The cuisine in Deepmarsh isn’t awful, but it’s not exactly to my liking.”I looked down both ways of the street, because we were about to cross, then grabbed Amaryllis’ by the talon and pulled her across at a quick trot to avoid a passing trolley. The moment we were on the other side, Amaryllis tore her hand back and shook it. “You humans are all so touch-y feely,” she muttered.“I would have thought that harpies would be the same way,” I said. “What with you all being bird people. Do you have nests and such?”“Only the truly impoverished would sleep in a nest,” Amaryllis said. “Or those incubating an egg the old fashioned way, as some clans still do.”I almost tripped. “You can lay eggs?!” I asked.Amaryllis gave me a flat look. “Of course I can.”“Yeah, but eggs! How does that even work?”A passing group of grenoils in worker’s overalls gave us a look and I noticed the feathers on Amaryllis’ arms poofing a little. Was that her version of a blush? I hadn’t meant to embarrass her.“You idiot,” she said. “That’s... well I suppose it isn’t common knowledge where you’re from.” She coughed to clear her throat. “Traditionally, when a man harpy and a woman harpy get married, they prepare a nest, and when they enter their breeding period they... consummate their relationship. The egg that the woman lays next is fertile and it is incubated until it hatches. If the female harpy isn’t in that sort of relationship, then the egg she lays will be infertile and the clan will dispose of it. It’s all quite civilised I assure you.”“You have a breeding cycle?” I asked. This was way more interesting than that one class in school with the horrible videos.Amaryllis huffed. It was her ‘I’m better than you’ huff. “Unlike you humans who just mate whenever, we actually know that there’s a time and place for such things. Usually in the spring when the winter snows melt away.”“Neat,” I said. “Wait, does that mean that you lay eggs every spring? Can they be eaten?”Amaryllis was giving me a very flat look. “I’ll have you know that eating eggs is extremely taboo. That’s like... offering to eat a still-born human baby because the meat is tender.”“Ah, wow, okay sorry.” I was fortunately quite used to placing my foot in my mouth though. “Are there any other taboo subjects? Just in case?”“Not really,” Amaryllis said. “It’s considered quite rude to bring up certain subjects around strangers though. You don’t talk about eggs with a person that isn’t a close family member, and it’s usually something handled amongst the womenfolk.”“Ah, okay.”“And talking about religion in a public gathering is a faux-pas. Politics and economics and other such contentious subjects are fine.”“You’ll have to show me your home one day,” I said.“I dread the idea of presenting you to my sisters,” Amaryllis said. “They would take a shine to you that I find frankly terrifying.”“That sounds like a lot of fun,” I said. “Oh, that’s the inn!” I pointed to the Rock Inn and Roll Inn just a little ways down the street.“Seems respectable enough,” Amaryllis said. “We should get a room for the both of us. It will save us some money.”I eyed her from the corner of my eye. She had been throwing money around without a care earlier. Sure, her biggest purchase was my awesome new armour, but she had also purchased a new leather jacket with a fur-lined neck similar to her last one, and a thin bandoleer with slips for potions to go underneath.It wouldn’t have surprised me if she was really just a little nervous to sleep in a room alone. She had been through a lot in the last couple of days and I think that she had yet to decompress. Really, what Amaryllis needed was a good hug and some tea and maybe a warm blanket. But if all she wanted was to share a room that was okay too.“It’ll be like a sleepover!” I said.Amaryllis hummed. “One of my sisters was terribly keen on those. She used to drag out the most ridiculous outfits and makeup and make me parade around in them for her amusement.” She sounded cross about it, but was wearing a melancholic smile.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.“Do you miss your family?” I asked.“I hardly left on bad terms,” Amaryllis said. “I just needed some... time to my own.”I didn’t have time to dig into that as we arrived at the inn and slipped in to find a busy floor. Not every table was filled, but it was a near thing. Julien’s inn seemed to attract a lot of upper-crust sort of people, grenoil in nice suits and people with spectacular hats and colourful outfits who seemed okay with the idea of bumping shoulders and sharing a pint.I had the impression that this was a purposeful thing, that Julien wanted people here to let go of some of their social pretensions while in his inn.The fat grenoil in question was talking animatedly to a customer behind the bar, but as soon as he saw us his eyes lit up and he raised both arms as if to hug the air. “Ah, little Broccoli! You made it back.”“Hello Julien!” I said. “I did! We had a few close calls but we made it out alive. This is my friend and partner Amaryllis.”“Hello,” Amaryllis said.“Any friend of Broccoli is a friend of Julien’s. How can I help you ladies?” he asked.“We need a room for the night,” I said. “Um, a room with two beds?”“Something nice would be welcome,” Amaryllis added. “With a desk and some room to think would be preferable.”“I have just ze zing,” Julien said.I nodded. “And food,” I added. “Your food’s the best.”“Oh hoh, zis one knows how to warm an old frog’s heart,” Julien said. A moment later he called over one of the barmaids and gave her some directions to lead us off to a room way off on the other side of the inn. Amaryllis slapped a single gold coin on the bartop and that had Julien’s eyes sparkling in greedy delight.Our room, as it turned out, was a whole lot bigger than the rooms I was used to, with a small washroom, two big beds and a little living room. It reminded me a bit of a modern hotel room, but with a most rustic charm. I could still hear the soft murmur of the bar below and the windows overlooking the street ahead of the inn gave a nice view of Port Royal.“Bed!” I cheered as I jumped into the air and crashed onto one of the beds side first.Orange, who didn’t seem amused by my jump, stood hanging on nothing above the bed before she strutted off to the window and started grooming her little paw-paws in the sunlight.“You idiot,” Amaryllis muttered. She turned to the barmaid that had accompanied us and huffed. “We’ll have our meals as soon as they’re ready,” she said.“You’re supposed to tip!” I called from the fluffy surface of the bed.“Tipping? Really?” Amaryllis asked.“I have some coins if you don’t have any,” I said as I got ready to jump off the bed.Amaryllis grumbled something, but she pulled out a pair of silver coins and gave them to the now-smiling barmaid. “Here you go. Just... get our food. And no bugs.”“Yes ma’am,” the barmaid said before scooting away.“You’re supposed to say ‘thank you,’” I said.“She’s help, you’re supposed to pretend they don’t exist,” Amaryllis said.I supposed that that was one of those cultural differences that I would have a hard time reconciling. Sitting up, I watched as Amaryllis pulled a chair from the table to one side of the room, then pulled a pen and sheet of paper from her ring with a poof. A moment later she scribbled something and they both poofed back.“What’cha doing?” I asked.Amaryllis made a gesture with one talon raised that I suspected meant ‘give me a moment,’ then, with a poof, a small notebook, a pen, and a larger book appeared above the table and fell. “I’ve been meaning to look over known dungeons for a proper second class. Something that will complement my primary class.”“Ohh,” I said as I bounced off the bed. Beds were fun, but shopping for magical classes sounded a lot more fun. I pulled up a bench next to Amaryllis and, with my legs kicking out to bleed off some of my excess energy, waited for her to open up her book.She did so, but not before rolling her eyes. “There are a few different schools of thought when it comes to second classes. Generally, a class will level up for doing things that are in-line with that class’ purpose. A warrior will level from training at arms or from sparring. A chef will level from cooking. Do you follow so far?”“That makes sense, yeah.”“So, as I said, the two major philosophies are split along two ideas. The first suggests that you find a second class that matches your first. A warrior might get a spearman class. A chef a cook class. That way you can continue doing the same sort of training and so on to level both classes up. Since the experience is more or less evenly shared between the two classes, this means that your second class will level far faster.”“Because levels eleven and up take more experience points per level?” I asked.“Experience points?” Amaryllis asked.“Uh. more... experience in general?” I asked. “Experience points are an Earth thing, I guess.”“Yes, I suppose,” she said. “The second school of thought suggests finding a class that’s utterly dissimilar to your first. That way you can practice both separately. It’s both more and less efficient seeing as how the first method, the two similar classes way, tends to spend a long time with their second class at its bottleneck while the first reaches level twenty.”“Oh,” I said. “That’s kind of annoying. But then if you have two entirely different classes you need to spend time training two things?”“Exactly. It’s something of a toss-up as to which is best, and matters for much furious debate in some circles.”“I can imagine,” I said. “So what will you do?”“I don’t know yet,” Amaryllis admitted. “Which is why I have this.” She tapped a talon on the surface of the book.“Midhve’s compendium of Dungeons and Associated Classes,” I read. “Well then, let’s pick you a class!”Amaryllis huffed, but she opened the book all the same.
* * *
Chapter Sixty-Two — The Dungeon Book
Chapter Sixty-Two — The Dungeon Book “This compendium doesn’t hold as much information as you would think, but it’s nonetheless one of the most useful books out there. Most noble families, academies and guilds have a copy at their branch offices and mansions,” Amaryllis explained.“Does the Exploration Guild have one?” I wondered as I scooted closer.“The Exploration guild are the ones providing most of the information being published here,” Amaryllis said.She opened the book to a page near the start and I leaned closer to read.The Pit of a Hundred TrapsApprox Dungeon levels 5-7Suggested levels 10+Party composition: 3+ Healer Necessary.Special warnings: Poisons. Traps.Located south-southwest of Stormshark near the Bay of Storms in lands belonging to the Kingdom of Endless Swells.At ToW this dungeon has seven floors. The path from floor to floor is built along a series of tall plinths above a basin of predator-filled waters. The delve room is otherwise safe. Special care should be taken while using the bridges from one plinth to the next as some have trapped boards.First Floor: Large area with key at one end. Simple pitfalls.Second Floor: Rows of pillars meant to be jumped over. Pit beneath contains venomous spiders (common). Key at end.Third Floor: Maze-like tunnel. End returns to start. Key hidden within. Layout changes daily. Pitfalls, blow darts.Fourth Floor: False treasure room. Mimics. Key in one of the chests.Fifth Floor: Use keys marked with symbols on the door to open. Remaining keys to be kept. Lesser boss is a large brass boar. Must be baited into traps or killed with overwhelming power.Sixth Floor: Puzzle room. Bait large turtles into eating poisoned fish. Key at end of room.Seventh Floor: Dungeon Boss. Large animated bear-trap. Needs to be baited into setting off different traps across the room. Each broken tooth summons an iron bear (uncommon).Loot rewards:Various traps. Ropes. Poisons. Fishing rodsClass reward:Master Baiter classSpecializes in setting off traps from afar and tracking.“What’s ToW? And what’s a delve room?” I asked as I held back a giggle. I really hoped that Amaryllis didn’t pick that class, or else I’d never be able to look her in the eyes again. Instead of looking up to see her no-doubt unamused look, I looked at the maps on the next page. They were small, and not that detailed, but they showed the rough shapes of each floor of the dungeon, and there were even some notes to the side.Amaryllis hummed. “ToW stands for Time of Writing. This one is nearly a year old.” She tapped a date at the bottom of the page. “So no doubt the dungeon has gained at least a floor since. Some of the traps may have moved. And the delve room is the main room of a dungeon. Some dungeons have a room that allows you to access each floor. You can’t actually skip ahead, and the dungeon punishes you for trying, but it does mean you can leave if you need to.”“Neat,” I said. The Wonderland dungeon in Threewells had that, then. The large room with the shaft had to be its delve room.“Indeed,” she said. Amaryllis began flipping through the pages too fast for me to do much more than stare at some of the maps or read the passing names of the dungeons. She seemed to know what she was looking for.But I didn’t. “Ah, what kind of class do you want?” I wondered.“Something that will synergize with my Thunder Mage class.”“So another mage class? Or something thunder and lightning related?” I wondered.She hummed, then shook her head. “No, not quite. I want something that will work well with my class, shore up some weaknesses, but not something too close. Ah, this one is interesting.”The page she stopped at had a bit less information on it. I noticed that she had been skipping right past some of the dungeons with too many levels. They were probably a bit beyond us anyway.ToylandApprox Dungeon levels 4-7Suggested levels: 8-10Party Composition: 3+ Area of Effect Specialist SuggestedSpecial Warnings: Golems. Horde EnemiesLocated next to Port Hazel, the capital of the Kingdom of Mattergrove.At ToW this dungeon has five floors. The delve room is built to resemble a long, large castle room, with a glass ceiling (always near dusk) and hundreds of dust-covered boxes. All are empty. Excessive tampering or destruction in the dungeon will replace some boxes with traps. Otherwise safe.First Floor: A long, narrow playroom. Hundreds of toys within. Upon crossing the middle of the room the toys rise and begin to charge the delver in waves. Attacking prematurely awakens all toy golems at once.Second Floor: Nutcracker room. Defeat toy knight in joust atop provided mount or fight soldier golems.Third Floor: Room is filled with large plush animals. Deceptively dangerous. Will be invited for ‘tea.’ Accept and pass. Otherwise fight. Enemies resilient and strong for level. Slow-moving.Fourth Floor: Room is built like a theater. Large Marionettes act out a play on stage. Participating unlocks special reward (Toy wand, rare) Otherwise simple combat against large wooden foes. Focus cords.Fifth Floor: Dungeon Boss. Large room filled with broken toys. Large armoured ‘teddy bear’ in centre. Will summon toys from sides of the room to aid in combat. Suggest fire.Loot rewards:Various toys. Small children’s trinkets. Enchanted playthings.Class reward:Toymaker classClass specializes in making small trinkets and toys and animating them with mana.“Oh,” I said. “That class does sound like a lot of fun.”“You’re merely saying that because you want to play with the toys I would make,” Amaryllis said.“I’m a bit old for most toys,” I defended myself. “Though I wouldn’t mind a teddy bear that hugs back. I’d call it Threadbear and I’d love it lots.”She shook her head and seemed about to tell me off, but a knock at the door alerted us right before it opened and our supper arrived. The book was pushed aside as a pair of trays laden with all sorts of small plates with artfully arranged meats and veggies and breads were placed before us by a pair of barmaids. They left as quickly as they had come, leaving the room smelling heavenly.“Let’s eat!” I said as I immediately began digging in. Amaryllis went a little slower, at first, but she soon tossed her cutlery aside and began spearing her food with her talons.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.When we finally finished eating some time later, I had to lean back into my seat to pat down my overfull tummy. There was still some food left, and I wanted to eat it, but there was no room.I was almost dozing when Amaryllis dragged the book closer and started shifting through the pages. “Found it,” she said a little while later.“Eh?” I muttered as I sat up straighter.“Look,” she said as she pushed the book my way.The Palace of StringsApprox Dungeon levels 4-7Suggested levels: 8-10Party Composition: 2+ High Mental Resistance and Perception SuggestedSpecial Warnings: Body SnatchersLocated at the base of the cliffs of the independent town of Rosenbell.At ToW this dungeon has 4 floors. No delve rooms. The entry point is a garden around an ancient palace.First Floor: The garden hedges. Attempting to pass over the walls summons (rare) gargoyles. Large spiders near the ceilings will try to ensnare delvers.Second Floor: The main halls of the palace. Knights patrol the corridors, held up by strings. Focus fire on the strings to disable.Third Floor: Ball room. Filled with child-sized humanoid puppets in dresses. Hidden weaponry. Will demand to dance.Fourth Floor: Throne room with a large ‘puppet king’ that uses multiple weapons and hidden compartments on the body to unleash different effects on the battlefield.Loot rewards:Strings, Spider parts, Dresses.Class reward:Puppeteer classRanged control of a single target or golem. Minion control.“That sounds... kinda spooky,” I said.“Don’t be a coward, it’s a normal enough dungeon. And a low-levelled one at that,” Amaryllis said. “And, best of all, Rosenbell isn’t too far from Greenshade. A week on foot. Less if we rent a carriage.”She flipped the book to the very back where a map was laid out. I ‘oohed’ and started looking at it. I used to love the maps in fantasy novels, they were some of the best parts, and now I could trace my own journey across Dirt.“The class is a little... unusual, but I think it might have its uses, if I unlock the right kinds of skills for it.” Amaryllis stood up, then stretched her back until it popped. “I’m going to go rest,” she said.“Ah, I should go to sleep too,” I replied. The filling meal had done a number on what was left of my energy, and the sun was about to set outside besides. “There’s a shower here, right?”Amaryllis snorted. “There is. Enjoy yourself, I’m going to get changed.”
* * *
I woke up to a sniffling noise, like two pieces of cloth rubbing together. It was faint, and I decided that it had to be from some other room in the inn. It was a busy place after all. That, and I had just had a nice warm shower and was tucked under a veritable pile of cozy-warm blankets. Moving was not an option.I was almost back asleep when I heard the snuffle again. It sounded as if it had come from Amaryllis’ side of the room.Carefully, I turned around and snooped out of the top of my blankets and looked around.Other than Orange who was curled up next to me I couldn’t see anyone.Then Amaryllis’ bed shook and the sniffle returned.Someone was crying. Quiet, lonely sobs, the sort that are trying very hard to remain quiet but just can’t help but escape.Pulling Orange up, I sat on the edge of my bed, then stood up with the kitty cradled to my chest. I was glad that I chose to sleep with some clothes on for a change. It meant that I didn’t lose all of my warmth as I padded across the room.Amaryllis had her head buried in her pillow, eyes closed and face pressed into the soft white fluff.“Amaryllis?” I asked.She tensed.Swallowing, I placed a hand over the blankets where her shoulder was. “Amaryllis?”“What’s wrong, Broccoli?” Amaryllis asked.If she was trying to sound self-assured she was doing a poor job of it.I, on the other hand, didn’t know what to do. When I was sad and lonely I asked for hugs, but I wasn’t sure if that would happen with Amaryllis, and maybe her problems weren’t the kind that could be fixed with lots of hugs and cuddles. “Are you okay?”“I’m fine.”I winced. “Oh, okay,” I said.“Go back to bed,” she muttered.I did as she asked and sat on her bed.“What are you doing?”“I’m going to bed,” I said.“Your own bed, you moron!”Sighing, I plopped a disgruntled-but-too-sleepy-to-care Orange on Amaryllis’ other side, then glomped down atop of her. There were a bunch of blankets between us, so I did my best to make my hug as awesome as I could make it.“Wh-what are you doing?” she asked.“I’m giving you a hug. It’s supposed to make you feel better.”“It’s not working.”I chuckled. “I think it is,” I said. “Did you want to talk about it? That makes it feel better too.”“The only thing I want to talk about is how stupid you are,” she grumped.“We can talk about that too, if you want.”Amaryllis was quiet for a very long time, but she didn’t squirm and she didn’t fight off my hug, so I stayed where I was even as my back started to get a bit chilly.“It was just a nightmare,” she said.“Nightmares can be scary.”“It was... the cervid. They took me, and my family didn’t want me back. Which is ridiculous.” She snorted and it didn’t sound as if she thought it was all that ridiculous.“That’s awful. But it didn’t happen, right? And even if your family didn’t want you, you’re still my friend. And friends are a family that you pick.”The room was quiet for a while, and I thought that maybe she had gone to sleep when at last she spoke. “Do... do you want to get under the blankets?”“If you want?” I asked.“My... my sisters used to do this. It was immature and childish, but when one of us had a nightmare-”“I get it,” I said.It took some doing, and I tried to be fast not to let all the warmth escape, but soon enough I was tucked up beside Amaryllis and hugging her close. Her wings were surprisingly soft from so close.“I’m a mess,” Amaryllis said.I snorted and fired a bit of cleaning magic at her. “There, now you’re not,” I said before tightening the hug. “It’s okay. Go to sleep.”“Idiot,” she muttered.“Yup.”The night grew darker as more lights outside the window were snuffed out, but it was okay.“Thank you,” Amaryllis said.I fell asleep smiling.
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Chapter Sixty-Three — The Shady Lady
Chapter Sixty-Three — The Shady Lady When I woke up it was to find that Amaryllis was already up and about. She must have taken a shower because her feathers were still drippy and she had a towel wrapped around her head. “Oh, you finally decided to wake up,” she said.The words were biting, but the tone didn’t match at all. She sounded... softer than she would have yesterday. I smiled a little, then hid myself in the warm pile of blankets until only the top of my head stuck out. “I’m not coming out until someone brings breakfast,” I said.“You moron,” Amaryllis said. “I didn't take you for the lazy sort.”“I’m not lazy. I’m merely highly unmotivated to leave my warm snuggle cocoon,” I said.Orange, who had slipped under the blankets, poked her head out and gave us both a glare that seemed to say ‘really, at this hour?’“Come on, we should grab something to eat on the road. There are vendors out all over this city. Or do you want to miss the opportunity Lord Bristlecone is giving us?”Somewhat reluctantly (I wasn’t lazy, but it was really comfy under there) I pushed the pile of blankets until they smothered Orange and I hopped off the bed. I was only in my blouse and underthings, and all of the rest of my clothes were near my bed. It took a disproportionate amount of effort to trudge over and start getting dressed though.“Is Abraham really a Lord?” I asked.“He is, technically,” Amaryllis said.“How can someone technically be a Lord?” I wondered.She sighed. “He has something of a reputation. He earned the title through some, shall we call them, exploits. He’s not one of the founders of the Exploration Guild, but he was one of their big names for a long while. There are towns named after him, and landmarks that he discovered cover most maps. He’s quite famous in some circles.”“So going with him is a big deal?” I asked.Amaryllis huffed. It was a new huff that I hadn’t heard before. “He’s a bit of a washout. No, that’s not the correct term. He merely grew old, and instead of retiring in grace he still leads the occasional daring mission into the frontier or goes on some harebrained adventure. There are characters in children’s books that bear a striking resemblance to him. He’s a fossil.”“I think he was nice, and maybe a little lonely,” I said. “No one wanted to hear his stories.”“I can’t imagine why,” Amaryllis deadpanned.Shaking my head, I slid on my shoes, then tied them up. I was still keeping a set of boots in my bags. My Earth shoes were just a whole lot more comfortable, though they were starting to show some wear.“And I’m ready!” I said as I bounced to my feet.“Finally,” Amaryllis said.We went downstairs after I picked up my backpack and cradled Orange in the crook of my arm where she would at least be snug and warm, or as warm as a spirit cat could be, I guess. Julien wasn’t behind the bar, instead it was manned... grenoiled, by a young lady who waved us goodbye as we went out the front.It was still early enough in the morning that the streets were mostly bare, the sun hadn’t even fully risen over the distant mountain range to the East. The few people around looked like workers rushing to get to their jobs, or people who had just finished a night shift and looked more than ready for bed.Amaryllis was right about the vendors though. As soon as we were off the main street and heading towards the docks we ran into a few carts that were still preparing to take off, their owners adding oils and arranging things before their first clients arrived. We both agreed, with no prior discussion, to avoid all of the stands that sold bugs in any shape or form and aimed for the ones that had colourful signs that displayed drawings of local favourites.We ended up with two bowls made of some round loaves of bread with the middle scooped out. The bread was still soft, perhaps owing to the strange sort of fridge they’d been stored in. Hot minced meat, beef if I had to guess, mixed with some beans and a savoury sauce was placed in the middle. We didn’t get spoons, but a peek at a grenoil using his tongue to eat out of the bowl showed me how to eat the snack.I shrugged. “When in Rome,” I muttered before slurping out the stew. It tasted pretty good. Nothing like the food at the inn, but still hearty and filling, and then I got to eat the bowl too, which was nice.“Your face is a mess,” Amaryllis said.I looked at her shirt which had a few stains on it that hadn’t been there before. “You’re one to talk,” I said before firing a bit of cleaning magic at myself. Then, because I was nice, I cleaned off her shirt too.She huffed, but it was her ‘I’m too good to say thank-you huff,’ which was almost as good as if she had said thank-you.We aimed for the docks, Amaryllis sometimes taking the lead when we got to intersections that weren’t yet familiar to me, but otherwise we just aimed for the big, noisy part of town with all of the flying ships around it. It was hard to miss, really.“So, do you know what his ship looks like?” I asked.“Not a clue,” Amaryllis said. “The Shady Lady is supposed to be quite popular. It was one of the first airships ever built in Mattergrove, some five or ten years after the Nesting Kingdom started producing their own.”“Ah, Mattergrove is a human place, right?” I had seen it on the map yesterday, it was to the West of Deepmarsh, but that was about all I could remember without looking at the map again.“It is. It’s a large enough nation, but rather impoverished. Their lands don’t lend themselves well to cultivating any useful crops and the Seven Peaks, that is, the mountains around which the kingdom is built, don’t have anything worth mining in them. They’re not as advanced as the Nesting Kingdom or Deepmarsh, so they’re behind there was well.”If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“What do they sell?” I asked.“Wine, mostly. They have good vineyards. That and plenty of fish, though other than a few rare species that Harpy nobility enjoy there’s not much of a market for it. Endless Swells, another human-centric kingdom to the North, sell more fish for less.”“Ah,” I said. “That kind of sucks for them,” I said. I would have asked a few more questions, but we arrived on the topmost deck of the docks. Piers stretched out before us to reach out to various ships that hung over empty air. Seagulls were flocking around in big groups, eyeing passersby in case they dropped anything tasty and men and women in overalls and working clothes moved about with a sense of urgency.I could have spent hours at the docks just gazing at the airships taking off and smelling the weird sizzly tang from the magical engines they used, but time wasn’t on my side.I spotted a grenoil who looked important, with a tag over one breast that read ‘Dockmasters Association.’ “Excuse me, sir. We’re looking for a particular ship,” I said.“Zen I suggest ze registry,” he said a bit dismissively. I walked up alongside him and matched his pace.“She’s called the Shady Lady. She belongs to one Abraham Bristlecone.”The grenoil stopped in his tracks. “Is she leaving?” he asked.“Um. I think so? As soon as we get to her, I mean.”“Zank ze stars. Ze Shady Lady is over at dock fifty-one.” At my confused look he pointed off to one side. “Two levels down. Look for ze plaque at ze base of ze pier.” He then pointed to a nearby dock where a plaque was stamped onto the ground that read ‘Twelve’ in big letters.“Thank you sir!” I said before I jogged back to Amaryllis. “Follow me!”“I have a bad feeling about this,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, don’t be a worrywort,” I said. “We’re about to go on another adventure! Just imagine how much fun we’ll have.The moment we arrived at pier fifty-one I started to have the same bad feeling that Amaryllis had mentioned. I wondered if it was contagious, or if she just knew something I didn’t.The Shady Lady was hard to miss. Mostly because the ship at the end of the pier had her name emblazoned on its side in foot-high letters. The fact that the words ran half-way across the length of the ship said much about its size.The airship was small. Tiny even. With a long hull made of wood and a bunch of triangular sails mounted on poles that stuck out every which way from the ship. There was a little cabin at the back, with exhaust pipes sticking out of it, and a small area above that cabin with a large wheel that probably served to direct the ship. The very back of the ship ended abruptly with a huge propeller stuck to a shaft.And above it all an oblong balloon whose original colour I could only guess at. It was covered in so many patches and nets and bits of tarp that it was impossible to tell what it was supposed to look like.One thing was immediately obvious: the Shady Lady deserved her name. Too many of her planks were mismatched to be original, and there were some nasty scrapes along the bottom. There was even a pole sticking out of the bow that I was pretty sure was a spear that had stayed lodged in the front of her.“I can glide,” Amaryllis said. “So when she goes down, ditch that bag of yours and do try to hang on.”“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” I tried to assure her. And myself.The door to the ship’s cabin burst open and a spotless Abraham stepped out of it. On his heels was Raynald, who looked just as spiffy now as he did at the guild.“Broccoli! And you brought your feathery friend!” Abraham said as he raised both arms in an enthusiastic greeting. “Welcome, come aboard, come aboard. We’re all ready to set sail, to maraude across the clouds and maybe get into a bit of a scrap with some wild drakes or a griffon or two.”I felt a grin tugging at my lips. “Hello, Abraham,” I said. “Mister Raynald. It’s a good morning to meet you two!”“Ahaha! A good morning indeed. Come on, the Shady Lady doesn’t bite, not when I’m around at least. Hoh-oh!”Laughing, I hopped over from the pier to the ship, and took a few steps to steady myself once aboard. A few steps was all I could take since the entire vessel was only five meters or so wide at its middle. The entire deck had things on it. Poles for ropes, pulleys, a few seats with fishing rods next to them. There were even small cannons tucked next to the rails where they couldn’t be seen from outside of the ship.It looked like the Shady Lady had had parts added and removed and changed all throughout her life as a little airship, and despite my reservations I was growing to like her a whole lot. She had personality.“C’mon birdy,” Abraham said. “If we want to make it to Greenshade sometime this week we ought to head out sooner rather than later!”Amaryllis hopped over to the ship, then jumped down the rails to land next to me. “If I die on this death-trap, I’m returning as a ghost to haunt you,” she said. “And my name is Amaryllis, not birdy.”“Very well then, Lady Amaryllis,” Abraham said. “Welcome aboard the Shady Lady. Let me show you girls around right quick. We’re short handed, so we’ll all have to do our part else we’ll drop out of the sky like a sack full of lead bricks. Why, that reminds me of the time I encountered the dread air-pirate Golden Rogers...”
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Chapter Sixty-Four — Physical Manakinesis
Chapter Sixty-Four — Physical Manakinesis “Pull little lass!” Abraham shouted from the other side of the ship.I planted my two feet on the railing, wrapped my upper arm around the rope and pushed off as hard as I could until my entire body was horizontal. The rope came with me, but only with some effort and I had to grit my teeth against the strain on my arm.The sail whose line I was pulling finally deployed, and with a ‘whap’ its canvas caught the wind and expanded.In moments Abraham was by my side and he caught me before I fell onto the deck. Then, with deft hands, he grabbed the rope and tied it into a quick knot on a nearby metal hook. “Haha! We almost died there!” he cheered.I was grinning like a loon as I tried to keep my feet as the Shady Lady shifted and began to turn, the sail I had deployed allowing the airship to twist around a little and change course. That was handy, because right in the direction he had been heading in was an entire flock of whales.A pod of whales?I wasn’t sure which word was the right one to describe gigantic flying fish the size of semi-trailers. They were big, grey, and moved through the air in much the same way as whales moved through the ocean. “Insight.”An Eastern Skim Murgh, level 9.“Whaa,” I said as I leaned against the rails to take in the entire group of gigantic flying creatures. They were majestic, in their own way. Like fat people in a supermarket.“You’re easily impressed,” Amaryllis said. She was looking a little dishevelled, with her hair tossed this way and that and her clothes already covered in stains from being near the big blubbering engine at the back of the ship for too long.“How can you not be, this is great!” I cheered.“Oh-hoh, a lady after my own heart. My, if I was forty years younger I’d be smitten on the spot,” Abraham said before he moved to the back of the ship, pulled a bottle of something from a rack, took a swig of it, then emptied the rest into a hole above the engine. “Raynald! Remind me to get the engine checked again.”The dapper grenoil, who was currently behind the wheel, shook his head. A head that looked rather strange with a pair of elongated aviator goggles tied to it. “I reminded you at Port Royal, you insufferable oaf!” the grenoil said. “You said you had it in hand.”“I did! I even commissioned a repairman to look at the old monster.”“Did zey?” Raynald screamed right back.“They’re supposed to show up this afternoon,” Abraham shouted back. “Haha! They’ll be surprised that we’ve left already.”“World save us all,” Raynald said.Amaryllis stared at the two older gentlemen, then glared at me. “This is all your fault, somehow,” she said.“Don’t worry,” I said. “If we die, it’ll be while having tons of fun.”“Haha! That’s the spirit!” Abraham said. “Why, you remind me of that time Raynald and I were sent to escort a diplomat from the Pyrowalk Empire all the way to Mattergrove! Easy trip, and the lass they sent was a nice enough lady, but the Shady Lady had a bit of a buoyancy problem.”“A buoyancy problem?” Amaryllis repeated.“Yup! We lost our balloon when we flew through a flight of saber sparrows!”“You... you lost your.” Amaryllis looked up to the balloon above us, the thing that was currently keeping us afloat. “That’s unbelievable.”“Oh? Saber sparrows are a well-known threat. And they taste great roasted over a campfire,” Abraham said.Grinning, I hopped over to one of the metal doodads on the deck and sat down to listen, the whales flowing past us to one side serving as a backdrop and the rushing winds as music to accentuate the tale.“What’s unbelievable is you surviving that kind of crash.”“No worries! I have the jumping skill! I merely hopped off the Shady Lady before we crashed. Raynald here had some newfangled idea with a tarp and some rope-”“It’s called a parachute, and it’s safer zan jumping off ze ship a league in ze air.”“And I carried the envoy. We all made it safely to land. Of course, we landed in the desert, and the Shady Lady’s own landing was a little harsh. But Abraham Bristlecone never leaves a friend behind! So Raynald and I carried the Lady halfway across the Ostri desert until we ran across a few of the desert folk. When they heard our story, why, they were so impressed they helped pull the Shady Lady across the rest of the desert wastes until we reached Pisshole.”“Pisshole?” I asked, then slapped a hand over my mouth.“It’s the name of an oasis to the Northeast of the desert,” Amaryllis said. “The Ostri have... unique naming conventions.”“Haha! They truly do. Nice folk though. Always good for a bit of manly sparring. Why, when I reached Pisshole one of their bigger chaps challenged me to a wrestle! I lost an arm!”I blinked, then looked at his arms, both exposed because of the pocket-lined vest he was wearing, and both looking rather whole.“I got better,” Abraham explained.“So cool,” I said. “Hey, you have the Jumping skill too?” I asked.“I do! Quite useful that one. I hear that at Master rank you can teleport short ranges, but I never got it past Expert myself. Other things to invest the time in, you know?”“That’s wonderful. I’m trying to learn a bunch of new skills too. Oh, and I really want to learn how to use magic, but I'm terrible at it, and I haven’t practiced at all in a few days,” I said.“Oh-hoh! I can’t help you there, I’m afraid. I’ve always been more keen on punching things into submission before lighting them on fire,” Abraham said.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.Amaryllis sighed. “I suppose I ought to keep up my end of the bargain on that one and actually teach you a thing or two. How far along are you with that Fireball spell of yours?”“I’ll leave you ladies to it,” Abraham said. “The engine’s making a clicking noise, usually it's more of a rattle, and I think we’ve dropped a quarter league in the last few minutes. I’ll call you if I think we’re going to crash.”“Okay, thanks Abraham!” I said.Amaryllis stared at me for a long while. “How are you less concerned about crashing than I am?” she asked.I shrugged. “I don’t stress easily. Stress is bad for you, so I try to just... not stress. If we’re going to crash there’s not much I can do about it.”Amaryllis massages her temples, then gestured to the fore of the ship. “It must be nice, being so daft that no problem sticks to you. Come on, we can practice over there. I don’t want you lighting the ship on fire.”The Shady Lady had a figurehead shaped like a pretty lady who was wearing far too little clothing, but I guess that was par for the course with ships. I sat next to the figurehead, then, because the Lady was a nice ship, I gave its figurehead a pat.I didn’t like getting pats myself, but this was a ship, which I figured was kind of like a pet, so it was okay. Maybe? I’d have to ask a sailor later.“So, magic!” I said.“Yes, magic,” Amaryllis said. “Show me what you can do.”I nodded and brought my hand up. I had been practicing a little, but not nearly as much as I would have wanted to. It was magic after all, and that alone made it deserve my full attention. My mana gathered in my palm, then spread out to cover my entire hand until it was like I was wearing a translucent, glowing glove. I focused a little and brought it all to a hover over my hand and started to make it take the basic shape of the Fireball spell.It was tricky to get the rotating shape just right while also keeping the cone-shaped tail in place, but, after a solid minute I almost managed. Then Amaryllis hummed, I looked up, and the entire spell broke apart and did little more than release a bit of hot air.“Well... you’re terrible,” Amaryllis said. “But I suppose it makes sense if you never came into contact with our magic system before. I was trained since I was... honestly I can’t remember. I had toys that required manipulating mana to make them work, and my early classes on reading and writing were broken up by exercises with mana. You’ll find that’s the case with most noble families and plenty of wiser non-nobles too.”“Ah, darn, so I have years of catching up to do?” I asked.“Essentially, yes. Don’t despair too much. When I went to the Farseeing Academy some of the students in my first year were just as bad as you are now, and by the end of their first year they had done much to bridge the gap between their skill level and that of the students like myself who had practiced their entire life.”“Oh, neat, so I can learn Fireball.”Amaryllis huffed and took my hand in hers. Far from being romantic, she moved my arm up and pointed it off the side of the ship. “Push mana out,” she said.I did as she asked until I had a rough ball of my mana in my hand.“Good, now shift its aspect.”I did that too, frowning as I thought hot thoughts and the mana warmed up in my hand and started to flicker and dance like a flame.“Not bad. A bit slow, but that is Fire-aspect mana if I’ve ever seen it. You were using Grigori’s Fireball, right?”“I was?” I asked. “I got it from a scroll. It’s in my bag still.”“It doesn’t matter. I think I recognize the spell, not that it’s terribly complex. Start forming it again,” she instructed.I focused and started to form the ball part of the fireball, then I noticed little tendrils of mana snaking around my own, these charged with an almost humming, electric quality. When the tendrils touched my skin it was like I was pressing my hand against a transformer.“Are you doing something?”“I told you to make the spell, not ask foolish questions,” she said.I decided to trust that Amaryllis knew what she was doing and continued to form the Fireball. The tendrils of Amaryllis’ magic pushed and prodded the magic into slightly different shapes.“Look at the new form, pay attention to it,” she said.“R-right,” I said.Soon I had what definitely looked like a translucent Fireball floating in the air just above the surface of my hand.“Good. Cast it.”“Um. How?”Amaryllis sighed so hard it ruffled the hair by my neck. “The trigger on this spell is near the cone. Pull on that and push it out with your mana at the same time. Some people like to push their hand forwards too.”“Got it,” I said.I found the thing I thought was the trigger in the spell, then at the same time as I yanked on it, I closed my hand into a fist and punched forwards.The spell launched.A trail of heated air followed after the fist-sized ball of fire. I laughed as the Fireball rushed ahead, screaming through the air. Then it started to spin out of control like a deflating balloon. For a moment I was worried it would come back, but it exploded a dozen meters away into a ball of fire with tiny electrical sparks flashing throughout.“I did it!” I cheered as I got up.“Congra-” Amaryllis began, but she was cut off as I hugged the air out of her lungs.“Thank you! Thank you!” I said.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the general skill: Physical Manakinesis!
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Chapter Sixty-Five — Storytime
Chapter Sixty-Five — Storytime Physical ManakinesisRank F — 00%The ability to push mana out of your body using motion as a focal point.“Huh?” I said.“What?” Amaryllis asked.My confusion must have been showing, or maybe she just noticed that my hug and thank-yous had stopped for a moment as I tried to figure out the skill I had just unlocked.“Um, I got a new skill,” I said. “It’s a General Skill called... Physical Manakinesis.”“Manakinesis?” Amaryllis asked. She frowned as she seemed to think about that for a moment, then gave up with a shrug. “Never heard of that one. I expected you to unlock Fireball, or perhaps Mana Manipulation or Mana Shaping. The latter are valuable skills for anyone who wants to practice magic.”“Yeah, I can imagine. The skill description is kind of strange too. It says something about using my body as a focal point for pushing out mana?” That didn’t quite parse for me. Or maybe I just didn’t know enough about magic to make sense of it.“Let’s go ask the fossils. I’m loath to admit it, but they are both rather experienced, even if they seem somewhat uneducated. Abraham especially,” Amaryllis said.I didn’t comment on how rude it was to say that kind of thing, Amaryllis was who she was, and maybe one day she’d learn to look past that, but it wasn’t my right to try and change her, really. Instead I hopped to my feet and skipped across the deck to the back.Abraham was squinting at a grease-and-oil covered book, a tiny set of spectacles perched on the end of his nose. His brows rose and his look of deep concentration faded as soon as he saw us coming closer. “Ah-hah! Figured out your little spell, did you? I bet you can’t wait to launch that monster into some unsuspecting beast’s maw and see what happens!”“Not yet,” I said. “I unlocked a skill, and I don’t know what it does.”“Oh, what sort of skill is it?” Raynald said. He locked the ship’s wheel in place with a metallic device and came to stand on the edge of the castle so that he could look down on us. “I might know a zing or two.”“Ah, it’s called Physical Manakinesis,” I said. “Do you know anything about it?”Abraham frowned and started tugging at his mustache, but Raynald didn’t have any such problems. “Ah, I know zat skill, yes. I don’t have it myself, but we’ve fought people who did. Abraham, do you remember zose fish-people in ze Hoofbreaker Woods?”“The scaly little bastards with the weird dancing magic?” Abraham asked.“Story time?” I wondered. I didn’t clap my hands like a five year old, because I wasn’t five.Abraham laughed and nodded. “Haha! There’s always time for a good tale or two. Raynald, let’s fix something to eat that isn’t some poor dead insect, and we can tell the girls all about our adventures in the far East.”I think we were all getting a little hungry, because no one disagreed. Soon enough Amaryllis and I were trying to help as the boys pulled some meat out of a rune-covered cooler and, after wiping the top of the engine clean, started cooking the meat right on the metal top-plate.It was a little weird, but I couldn’t argue with the mouth-watering scents that I caught every so often. There wasn’t any room for a table on the deck, but Raynald pulled a plank from somewhere and set it on some of the strange equipment and we found some stools tucked away in one of the little cabins at the back.In no time at all we were having a barbeque a league over a grassy plain, the bright blue skies all around and the distant call of the flying whales serving as a counterpoint to the Shady Lady’s thump-thumping engine.“So,” Abraham said after taking a bite of steak and swallowing it whole. “There we were. Out beyond Trenten lands because we ran into a bit of a kerfuffle with some of their royal guards and had to make a bit of a run for it. Unfortunately, they were on the persistent side and wouldn’t just let us go off to mind our own business.”“This is a few years after the Cry statuette heist,” Raynald said.“It’s not a heist if you’re stealing something back,” Abraham said. “Now, we were off in the deepest end of the forest known as the Hoofbreaker Woods. Nasty terrain there. Lots of very small cliffs and ridges, and the soil is rocky and hard to travel over.”“Hence the name,” I guessed.“That’s right,” Abraham said.“What does any of this have to do with Broccoli’s new skill?” Amaryllis wondered.“Ah, but see, we encountered people with that skill deep in the woods. We reached the end of the forest after losing our cervid pursuers, and being just a mite lost, we decided to follow the coast South until we encountered the Grey Wall.”“The Grey Wall?” I wondered. I knew I was just adding more and more delays until we got the important part of the story, but the little tangents were just too much fun not to dive into.“A huge wall made of grey stone, built to cut off the advance of those pesky deerfolk,” Abraham explained. “So, here we were, walking along a long shore, mostly well fed because the monsters in those woods were only in their twenties and they made for good eating. And then we encounter a group of strange savages!”“I’d hardly call them savages,” Raynald said. “Zey had zeir own culture and were fairly well educated in magical matters. Zey were merely behind in other zings.”“They walked around as naked as they were born, haha!” Abraham said. “Little fish-like folk, no taller than my waist, and they didn’t carry a weapon on them. Nice enough folk, all things said.”“And the skill?” Amaryllis asked.“Ah, yes. See, they didn’t have weapons, they fought with arms and legs and kicks and, most of all, magic. Instead of casting proper spells though, they would shape their magic and strike out with that. It was a little crude, but some of them were exceptionally talented.”Raynald shook his head. “It’s not like more traditional casting, where a spell is built and zen activated to unleash an effect. Not zat zey didn’t have zat as well. Zey just coated zemselves in mana and used it to supplement zeir fighting prowess. Like zis,” he said as he brought his hand up. Mana gathered around his closed fist in a blink, and then his entire hand started to drip with wet-looking mana. Raynald punched the air off to the side and a burst of mana shot out, then he brought his hand back and the mana returned.As the grenoil man waved his arm about in the air, the watery mana flowed after it, dancing through the sky like one of those tassels gymnasts sometimes used.“That’s pretty,” Amaryllis said. “And it shows decent control, but it doesn’t look... weaponizable.”If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.“Hrmph,” Raynald said. He brought his arm up, then slashed it down along his side. The watery mana shifted into a narrow band and sliced through the last few inches of our makeshift table. The wood clunked to the floor. “Ze issue is range, but some of zose fish people could imbue zeir mana into ze world around zem and use it all as a weapon. A kick to ze ground would unleash somezing similar to ze earth pillar spell, a punch would launch a weak fireball and so on.”“It reminds me a bit of fighting a terramancer, only with water,” Abraham said. “Tough fight those.”“Wow,” I said. So, if I understood things correctly, I had just unlocked the ability to become the avatar, and I was totally okay with that. Though I did hope that it came without tattoos.Amaryllis gave me a strange look. “You’re thinking stupid thoughts again,” she said. “It’s sad that I already recognize that look on your face.“N-no,” I said. “It’s just that the way Mister Raynald describes the skill reminds me of something, and I think it sounds really awesome. I should practice until I hit apprentice rank with it!”“That’s the spirit!” Abraham said. “We’ve got another day and a bit before we crash over Greenshade, that’s plenty of time to hone your skills.”“Crash over Greenshade?” Amaryllis asked.Abraham laughed. “It’s a figure of speech!”Amaryllis glared at him for a while, then sighed. “So, Broccoli, do you have any skills that aren’t topped off?”“You mean that I can still improve? Um, yeah, a few. Most even,” I said as I poked Mister Menu.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
7
Age
16
Health
120
Stamina
130
Mana
115
Resilience
30
Flexibility
35
Magic
20
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
B — 12%
Jumping
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 13%
Cute
D — 100%
General Skills
Insight
C — 33%
`
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
E — 58%
Archeology
F — 57%
Friendmaking
D — 68%
Physical Manakinesis
F — 00%
Skill points
3
General Skill Points
1
Class slots
0
General Skill Slots
0
“Um. In my general skills I have Insight, Makeshift Weapon Proficiency, Archeology, Friendmaking and Physical Manakinesis that all need more experience to rank up. And in my class skills I have Cleaning and Gardening that could use more training. Um. I have three class skill points, but I thought I should save them to get Cleaning up to Expert rank.”Amaryllis slapped a hand over her face.“What?” I asked.“How are you so far behind?”“I’m behind?” I asked.Abraham seemed to think that this was hilarious because he guffawed and slapped the table a few times. Only Raynald’s intervention saved the plank from flopping to the ground.“Most people, sane, intelligent people, work on any new skill until it’s as good as it can be. Accumulating so many skills without actually working on them is just so irresponsible,” she said. “Come on, get up. We can practice magic when you have the time to waste on that. We need to get your other skills up to par.”“Ah, okay?” I asked. “I’m not sure how we’ll grind any of them, though,” I said.Amaryllis had a dangerous and frankly kind of scary look in her eyes. “Why, Broccoli, we’ll just need to figure out how to practice as many skills at once as possible. I’m sure that weapon proficiency of yours can be trained anywhere on this ship while you’re cleaning and inspecting it from top to bottom.”“Um,” I said.“We can even practice that new skill of yours. I’m pretty sure pushing mana up against a mana-heavy attack will negate... some of the damage, at least.” She raised her talons and an electric buzz filled the air.“Um,” I said with more feeling this time. The feeling was terror.“Haha! That’s the spirit,” Abraham said. “Why, you remind me of that time I trained with an ancient monk atop the Jade peak. I nearly died three times on that first morning alone.”“But we’re on an airship,” I pointed out. “Isn’t this a terrible place to fight.”“No worries, Miss Bunch, the Shady Lady is one tough old ship. She can endure a bit of a scuffle with your feathery friend.”Amaryllis jumped to her feet, and I did the same just in case. “Wait, wait, Amaryllis why are you doing this?” I asked as she started to advance towards me.“To make you even stronger, of course. That way if we’re ever in trouble again we’ll be able to handle it better.”That... was actually a pretty good reason to train a little bit. And sharpening my skills didn’t sound like a bad idea. I just wasn't keen on getting hurt.“Don’t worry! If you lose any limbs I’m great at sewing,” Abraham said. “And Raynald here knows a healing spell or two!”“I... I’m more of a lover than a fighter!” I said.“Then you’ll love sparring!” Amaryllis said.That day, I learned that dodging someone who could fly on an open deck was rather difficult.
* * *
Chapter Sixty-Six — A Place to Park Airships
Chapter Sixty-Six — A Place to Park Airships I bounced over to the figurehead and glomped it from behind so that I could better see ahead of us.The Shady Lady was coasting along quietly through the mid-afternoon sky, carried along by the breeze at our back and navigating thanks to Raynald’s expert twists of the rudder this way and that. I suspect that he was aiming for thermals that I couldn’t see because we would occasionally ride up as if on a large swell for a little ways.I rather enjoyed the quiet now that the engine was off. Amaryllis didn’t, but that was probably because she had been spooked when the motor exploded and sent the ship’s propeller flying off into the distance and left a bit of a hole in the side of the cabin.The smoke trailing behind us was kind of pretty, and it also meant that no matter what happened, we would be super easy to find.I turned around and looked ahead again, then I felt my eyes widening and my smile growing wider. “I can see a city!” I called back while pointing the city in question up ahead.“Haha! We’ll make it to Greenshade after all! Didn’t I tell you as much, Raynald!” Abraham shouted. He didn’t need to shout over the engine anymore, but I think he was just used to talking at that volume.“I’m ze one zat calculated our descent, not you,” Raynald said.“Bah, that’s merely a detail, you old frog!” Abraham said. “It doesn’t matter, in a few hours we’ll hit land and I can finally be rid of you!”“I zink I am ze one zat it most looking forward to having some time wizout your... loudness,” Raynald shot back.Grinning, I leaned against the Shady Lady’s figurehead and allowed the wind to toss my hair back (I hoped that Greenshade had a hairdresser or two, I needed a snip). The adventure so far had been plenty of fun. Flying across the sky and playing tag with Amaryllis across the entire ship and just having fun and making new memories. It was all I had hoped for.And soon we would be landing in another city and setting off on another adventure, it was going to be wonderful!“Hey, Amaryllis, have you ever been to Greenshade?” I asked.“I haven’t,” the harpy said as she walked up to the front of the ship and then brought a wing up to shield her eyes from the sun. We would need to find her a nice hat at some point. “I learned a little about it. I had to learn about most cities, but Greenshade is... not inconsequential, but nearly so.”“Oh-hoh, if my little brother heard that he would be crippled!” Abraham said.Still smiling, because there was never not a reason to smile, I turned towards Abraham. “You have a little brother?” I could already imagine a younger, slightly more handsome Abraham in my mind.“Indeed! Little Lewis was a little brat when I ran off to have my first great adventure. Too bad he never followed in his big brother’s footsteps. He’s unhappily married now, with three little ones of his own! My niece is my favourite, but don’t go telling the others! Haha!”I grinned. Having someone like Abraham as an uncle must have been great. “I can’t wait to meet them all,” I said.“Your brother is the lord of the city, isn’t he?” Amaryllis asked.“He is?” I wondered.“Bah, it’s a silly title. I didn’t want it and Lewis always did want to make a name for himself while hiding behind as many walls as he could manage. I’m sure he’ll be out to greet us when we crash into his backyard, haha!”“Oh, great, nobles,” Amaryllis muttered.I stared at her, but didn’t have the energy to point out the bit of hypocrisy in her words. “So, Greenshade, what’s it like?”“It’s a trade city. A centre for overland travellers moving into or out of the Ostri desert,” Amaryllis said. “It’s also one of the only proper cities near to Deepmarsh where goods can be loaded onto airships and sent over the Darkwoods. A few nearby independent cities trade with Mattergrove through Greenshade, so does the Nesting Kingdom. Just about all of the goods moving into Mattergrove do so through this one city. It’s a wonder it’s not the capital by now.”“We built the city there because it had a nice view over the cliffs overlooking the desert,” Abraham said.“There’re lots of humans there, right?” I asked. It would be nice to be surrounded by a bit of normalcy for a little bit. Not that I minded seeing people of all sorts of species around. “Um, except for the travellers, I guess? Wait, do a lot of people travel over land?”“It’s mostly human, yes,” Amaryllis said. She leaned over the railing next to me and squinted into the distance. “There are some grenoil, but they tend to dislike the dry air. Plenty of ostri and some harpies too. Even some sylphs, but they don’t travel this far from their mountains too often.”“Awesome!” I said.“And as for the travel, well, airships don’t run on happy thoughts. They’re faster than overland trade, but you can’t move as many goods, the risk is nearly as high that the cargo will be lost and while faster, a large enough caravan can move more goods in a year than a dedicated airship. In the end it comes down to the terrain and the wildlife. In some regions airships are almost always better, in others it’s more cost effective to send goods over land.”That was good to know, I supposed. It felt as if the world was going through a slow and steady change, pushing the boundaries of what the people inhabiting the world could do with their magic and creativity. And I got to ride along with that wave of enthusiasm!Greenshade started to appear in more detail as we dipped through the clouds and came closer to the city. The city seemed to sprawl out every which way, with only the far western end where a large drop lay acting as a natural wall. The road to the west seemed neat and orderly, but the farther out they went the more they zigged and zagged. The houses also didn’t share the same colours as those in Deepmarsh, where nearly every roof was red. Here there was a rainbow panoply of roof colours.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.There were also roads leading out of the city and through what I suspected were vineyards and small patches of forests among rolling hills. Small homes with smoke trailing from their chimneys dotted the countryside.“Pretty,” I decided.“Hang on!” Raynald called from the very back. “We’ll need to dip and pull up to gain some speed, else we’ll never make it.”I grabbed onto the rail, then saw that Amaryllis was having a bit of difficulty doing the same with her talons, so I wrapped one arm around her waist and hugged her from behind. Orange, who had been snuggled up near the still warm (and still smoking) engine, padded up to us and perched atop the figurehead’s head just as the Shady Lady dipped down.Amaryllis squawked, Abraham roared with laughter, and I cheered with glee as we dove towards the ground. The entire ship rattled and clanked, the sails snapped in the wind and I saw some rope and a few odds and ends take off into the air.My knuckles went white as I hung onto the sides and I felt my stomach dropping inside of me.The only one that seemed unconcerned was Orange who began to lick a forepaw as if none of this mattered to her.“And up!” Raynald screamed.Sails shifted and the Shady Lady rumbled in protest as she began to right herself.The ground shot past beneath us, much, much closer now than it had been earlier.Things clanked, the ship wobbled, and I couldn’t continue cheering even though I wanted to because my lungs were busy being crushed against my ribcage.The Shady Lady levelled off, but at a speed that still had us pushed back by the wind alone. It was, I judged, a small miracle that we had held onto the big balloon above.“Haha! Good flying Raynald my old chum!” Abraham cheered.“We haven’t made it yet!”Greenshade, which had been a sort of blurry mess of indistinct rooftops from above, was now far closer. Perhaps a little too close.My next cry was one of alarm as we shot past and between a pair of towers, the guards atop them jumping to the side to avoid us.The city didn’t have all that many tall buildings, which only meant that the people in the streets had a perfect view of the Shady Lady as she shot past and almost rubbed against the roofs below.Then we were over the fancier parts of town, the place with the nicer homes that had little gardens and greenhouses and, best of all, lots of room between each other.“That’s my brother’s estate!” Abraham said as he pointed to a building off to one side. It was nice enough, from what I could see in the ten or so wild seconds before we shot past. Kind of like a palace with big wings on either side and a hangar of all things behind it.The Shady Lady bobbed up, as if catching a thermal. I blinked as the air suddenly went dry, and when I looked back ahead it was to find that we were now off the edge of the western cliff and over a huge expanse of desert that stretched out for as far as I could see.“Whoa!”“The Ostri desert,” Abraham said. “Driest, warmest, and sandiest place I ever ran across. More nasty beasties than you could shake a stick at, and nothing worth fighting for entire leagues!”“Do lots of people live there?” I asked.“Just the Ostri folk. Nicest people you’ll ever meet. Everyone’s a friend to them, as long as they’re fair,” Abraham said.“We should visit!” I told Amaryllis who was still tucked up against my chest. I think she might have been shivering a little.Poor thing. They probably didn’t have roller coasters back in her kingdom.We shifted around, Raynald spinning the wheel until the Shady Lady was coming around and back towards the cliffs.Just like the airship port of Port Royal, there were dozens of vessels berthed alongside piers on the rocks side of the cliff, with wooden docks and elevators that were moving up and down along the walls.“World damn us, ze doors are closed!” Raynald screamed.“Haha!” Abraham said. “They didn’t see us coming in time to roll out the welcome mat. That or my little brother’s friends want me dead again! What a great way to try and kill me!”“What?” Amaryllis screeched.“Oh, no worries! They only succeeded the one time,” Abraham said.We were now flying straight towards the cliff where I could see large doors built into the stone face. Most were closed, some were opened to show that there were smaller ships, like the Shady Lady, sitting in wait. None had a free open spot.“My, that was quite the week. See, there’s the countess that-”“This is not the time for one of your stupid stories!” Amaryllis yelled.“I like his stories,” I defended.“You’re an idiot too!” Amaryllis barked.Abraham, far from being insulted, started to roar with laughter. “Raynald, aim for that one!” he said as he pointed to one of the closed doors.“Aye!” Raynald said. “Got a plan?”His plan had better be short, because we were approaching fast.“Ramming speed, my lad!”“Zat’s not a plan!” Raynald screamed.“Haha! One way or another we’re ending this in a cliff hangar!”
* * *
Chapter Sixty-Seven — Fairness
Chapter Sixty-Seven — Fairness “Ouch,” I told the ceiling.“Did we die?” Amaryllis asked from somewhere nearby. I couldn’t see her on account of all the dust and stuff in the air. “Did Abraham die, at the very least? That would be fair.”I groaned and pushed myself up, then blinked through the haze as I realized that I was no longer aboard the Shady Lady. At some point I must have been ejected from the ship because I was now on some sort of deck that I didn’t recognize.Coughing, I pushed a bit of cleaning magic into the air around me in a sort of bubble. The worst of the dust vanished and unveiled the Shady Lady’s figurehead embedded into a wooden walkway, cracked planks and splinters all around the ship’s prow.The air cleared a little more when some wind slipped in from where the hangar doors had been at the very back. There was a nice big hole there, roughly Shady Lady shaped, though it looked as if the balloon hadn’t made it into the hangar with the rest of the ship.“Haha! We didn’t die!” Abraham shouted a moment before bursting out from a pile of junk with nary a scratch on him.Raynald was the next to appear. His goggles had a crack running along them and his suit had a few new stains on it, but he seemed fine otherwise. “We’re still alive? Joy.”“That was brilliant flying, Mister Raynald!” I said.“Yes, well, zank you,” the grenoil said as he looked around. “It seems as if ze Shady Lady will need a bit of maintenance before she can take off again.”“Bah, that’s no problem. We’re back home! Once we’re done with all the backstabbing and suchlike we can see about hiring some lads to patch the old Lady up. Maybe I can get that niece of mine to give her a look-see, she always loved the Shady.”Amaryllis hopped off the Shady Lady, tossed a bag that I recognized as my own to the side, then shook herself a little. “Right. Well I’m never flying with any of you again,” she declared.“Ah-hah!” Abraham laughed. “Another young lady ruined by Abraham Bristlecone!”My harpy friend stared at him for a moment, she looked around until she found a nice big piece of wood. Then, with noble poise and grace, she walked over to Abraham and started whaling on him with it.“Ah,” I said.Raynald shook his head. “Let her bleed off some energy. We can look for ze exit in ze meantime.”“Alright?” I said. Amaryllis did seem to be having some fun, and the wood didn’t seem to hurt Abraham at all. A product of his level, or maybe a skill? Or maybe knocks to the head just didn’t do anything to someone like him.Raynald and I moved to the back of the hangar. It was relatively small for a place to store airships, with walls of smooth stone that looked like something bored out with a huge machine. I ran my hands against the smooth surface, curious as to how they’d managed it.At the back were a few small cages with tools within and, much to my surprise, a sort of lift platform with railing that ran all the way up a dark, angled tunnel. Too steep to climb, but not enough that any platforms coming down the lift would be coming straight down.“Here it is,” Raynald said as he found a large machine with a pair of chains running beneath it. A panel on the front was covered in a bit of dust that flew off when the grenoil man made a slight gesture with his hand. “Let’s see if zis still works.”“I hope we won’t be stuck down here,” I said.“Wiz ze amount of fracas we made coming in? I doubt being stuck will be a problem. Being left alone will be a much larger concern.”He pressed a hand to a rune on the machine and it began to make a rattling noise, then the chains beneath started to move, one being pulled in, the other pushed out. It had to be some sort of motor, maybe.“Ah, Miss Bunch, do you have mana to spare?” he asked.Health 111/120Stamina 124/130Mana 101/115“More than a hundred points,” I said.“Good show. Place your hand where mine is, and push your mana into ze rune, if you would please? I will fetch some of our zings in ze meantime.”“Okay,” I said with a shrug. Soon Raynald was off and I heard him confiscating Amaryllis’ stick and telling her to go wait by my side before he dragged Abraham over to the wreck of the Shady Lady.I did hope that they repaired the Shady Lady, she was a nice ship.Soon I was joined by a dirty and rather huffy Amaryllis who was poking at a hole in her shorts and scowling. “Are you alright?” I asked. Pushing mana into the rune hardly required much focus.Amaryllis huffed and crossed her wings. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “Just a little... irate. Forgive me. It’s hardly noble of me to be acting this way.”“It’s okay. An airship crash is a bit of a, um, harrowing experience, I guess.” I thought it had been fun, but it wouldn’t help Amaryllis any if I said as much.“I’m sure,” she said. “I suppose I imagined adventuring to be a little... safer?”“Um,” I said.“You’re thinking that-for once-I’m the one being a moron,” she said.“No?” I said. She looked at me, and I knew that I hadn’t sounded all that confident. “Maybe a little? I think the whole point of going on an adventure is... well, it’s not just about getting something out of it. Or maybe it is that, as long as you count experiences as something you get. We’re out here risking our lives to discover new things, sure, but we’re also bettering ourselves, filling our minds with new ideas, and challenging the world to see how much we can take. That’s where the fun of adventure is, seeing how strong your bonds of friendship can be by overcoming challenges together!”Amaryllis stared at me, her head tilted to the side like a bird that was staring at a piece of toast and wondering if it was on the menu. “Your world must be downright bizarre,” she said. “Where did you learn that kind of thing?”Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!“H-hey,” I said. Laughing at all the cartoons and manga and such I had devoured wasn’t nice. They had important lessons in them.“Haha! Broccoli is right! The life of adventure is the only way to live a proper manly life!” Abraham said as he stomped over. He was carrying the ship’s engine under one arm. An engine that had to outweigh him three times over. At least it was super clean thanks to my cleaning practice the night before.“That’s right!” I cheered. “If we go on tons of adventures we’ll be the manliest, don’t you want that, Amaryllis?”“You absolute moron,” Amaryllis said. “There isn’t enough time left, or effort remaining, for me to beat the dumb out of you.”“Hey!” I said. There was nothing wrong in being the manliest girl ever if it meant having a life full of adventure and friends. Plus, some boys liked girls with muscles. And I was sure that if I worked hard enough, I’d be able to get rid of the Cute skill and replace it with something like Cool.“I’ll take it from here,” Raynald said as he moved to my side.I let him take over, my mana was dipping into the low forties already and I had no doubt he had a whole lot more to work with than I did.The chains started to rattle a little faster and from the hole above came a large wooden platform with metal rails all around it. When it stopped at the bottom, Raynald stepped up to it and opened the front to allow us all aboard.“Zis zing makes quite ze racket,” Raynald said as he moved over to a second panel that was stationed on the platform and pushed his hand onto a rune there. “We should expect some trouble when we get to ze top.”“Bah, nonsense,” Abraham said. “I’m sure it’ll just be a few guards and maybe that butler my brother loves so much. He ought to have married the man instead of that shrew.”“Isn’t she a countess?” Raynald asked.“That’s the thing with shrews, they can be more than just one thing, haha!”The platform shifted and started to climb back up where it had come from, and for a moment I was nervous as we were swallowed by the dark. I kind of wished we had a light. Then I realized something. “I forgot Orange!” I said.“You moron,” Amaryllis said.“Ah, the poor thing, she must be so worried,” I said. “Did you see if she was hurt after the crash?”“She’s a spirit cat,” Amaryllis said. “A little crash like that wouldn’t even begin to scratch her.”“Oh, oh good,” I said. I really didn’t know all that much about my kitty companion. But that was okay, we had plenty of time to learn about each other as time went on. “I’m going to resummon her, will that do anything to the platform?”“It shouldn’t,” Raynald said.I nodded and, under Amaryllis scrutinizing gaze, pressed my hands against my collar and pushed some mana into it.A ball of orange magic appeared before and, and just as it did last time, it resolved into an unamused Orange.“Orange!” I said as I extended my arms for a hug.Orange padded over to Amaryllis and sat on her shoulder.“No...” I whimpered.Amaryllis huffed, and it was an evil, smug huff. One that meant that she thought she was better than me.I didn’t have time to cry or lament the loss of my kitty friend to my birdy friend because the platform rumbled to a stop and I noticed that we were no longer in darkness. There was a slit of open sky, one that began to widen as hands gripped the edges until a pair of sliding doors were pulled aside to reveal a dozen men in shiny plate armour with halberds lowered to point right at us.My hands reached for the ceiling. I knew what to do when the police were around. Be nice and ask to see your lawyer.There were two people that stood out from the bunch, one a straight-backed man with a face whose main expression seemed to be placid resignation, and a guard whose uniform was a lot more colourful and who was wearing a helmet with a bunch of feathers sticking out the top.They eyed us all, then locked onto Abraham.The butler-looking man closed his eyes and sighed.The guard... Captain, I guessed, started to tremble.“Hahaha! A king’s welcome!” Abraham said as he stomped off the platform and batted aside the nearest halberds. “Albert! You sly old dog, you’re still alive?”“Yes, Lord Bristlecone,” the man in the neat suit said with a short bow. “A pleasure to see you returned to our fair lands. You look... well.”“Never been healthier Albert you dog. Who's the boy pissing himself next to you?”“This is Gerald. Commander of the Western guard,” Albert said as if reporting on the fact that it was currently sunny and rather on the warm side.“Well, tell him that shaking in his boots won’t intimidate anyone,” Abraham said. He tossed the ship’s engine to the side where it landed in the grass with a dull thump and didn’t so much as bounce, though it did make all the guards jump back. “Come on girls, Albert here makes a great tea! Sometimes it’s not even poisoned!”“That was a mistake, Lord Bristlecone,” the butler said.“Bah! It didn’t do anything more than make me want to take a piss anyway. Now, where’s that cute little brother of mine? Oh, and get someone to look at the Shady Lady’s engine here. It exploded this morning so we had to coast in for a landing. The hangar’s in a bit of a state too! Haha!” I looked over to Amaryllis, but she just shrugged one shoulder. Judging by the awed looks on the faces of all the guards, Abraham was a known quantity around here. “Come along now! No time like the present to muck up the old mansion!”
* * *
Chapter Sixty-Eight — A Cure for Hysteria and Loneliness
Chapter Sixty-Eight — A Cure for Hysteria and Loneliness I had seen the Bristlecone mansion from afar. Or rather, from above while riding the adrenaline high that comes with knowing you might die at any moment. That’s why I took a moment to really take in the building now that we were on the ground and approaching it at a more reasonable pace.The mansion was built in three parts, with a large section in the centre and two wings that swept around a large garden at the front filled with bright, blooming flowers and a few well-manicured trees. The area was surrounded by a tall wrought-iron fence, and as we approached I could make out a few guards patrolling in pairs.The lot around the mansion wasn’t that large, but it was bigger than the ones for any of the other mansions in the area, so I guessed that it might have been a symbol of status. Most of the homes overlooking the large cliffs were big beautiful buildings, which left me wondering how the people working at the docks got there.Maybe there were more tunnels under the city? That would be pretty neat. I always wanted to meet a fantasy dwarf and braid their beard.“You look excited,” Amaryllis said.I blinked and turned to look her way. “Shouldn’t I be?” I asked.“I suppose there’s no harm in it. I don’t think we’ll be staying here for very long,” she said. ”We’re not exactly in a hurry, but I would rather get going sooner rather than later.”“Where are you heading off to?” The guard commander, Gerald, asked.Our little procession was laid out in a rough column, with Abraham and Albert the butler at the front, Raynald on their heels and then Amaryllis and I in the middle. Gerald and all the rest of the guards were walking behind us, most of them working hard to look as if they were asleep while walking.“Wherever we wish,” Amaryllis said. “Our business is no affair of yours.”“Amaryllis, don’t be rude,” I said.She rolled her eyes. “He’s not your friend, Broccoli, he’s a guardsman of the city.”“He’s an officer of the law, which means we should help him,” I said.Gerald didn’t seem to know what was going on, so opted to stay quiet as we spoke.“Our dealings aren’t in this city and are therefore none of his business,” Amaryllis added. “We can finish up here, then move over to the local Exploration Guild house and announce our presence before moving on.”“Didn’t you just say that we’re not in a hurry?” I asked.“I know you’d rather stick around Abraham and listen to his little stories, but I also said that getting a move on sooner rather than later would be for the best. We can return whenever. Are you really so daft that you only hear what you want to?”“I’m sorry,” I said. “All I heard was you telling me I should ask Abraham for more stories.”Amaryllis glared until I started to giggle and we bumped shoulders while she made a big production of rolling her eyes and being exasperated.Albert the butler insisted that we use the front door to enter the mansion even though Abraham said it was traditional to enter a mansion via a window, the chimney or-in a pinch— the privy pipes.We walked along a little path that brought us to the front of the mansion, where the huge entrance loomed above, flanked by arches that rose up to a balcony where a little boy was watching. He cheered and ran into the building just before we arrived at the front.“Ah-haha! One of my little nephews!” Abraham said. “We need to get the Shady Lady working again, give the lad a taste for adventure before my little brother puts ideas about pushing paper around all day into his head.”Albert jogged ahead to the large double doors at the front of the mansion while Gerald fell back and gave his guards some orders that had them moving off towards the streets before the mansion. He returned just as the butler opened the doors and bowed toward us with a hand extended into the building.The main hall was built to impress, with two rounded staircases on either side, a floor so polished it was practically mirrored, and twin rows of maids and butlers on either side of the entrance with their hands folded before them.At the end of a long carpet that led off from the door was a small family. A husband and wife and three children, including the little boy that had been on the balcony. They were all dressed impeccably, which was impressive seeing as how they probably didn’t know we were coming until a few minutes ago.The man looked a bit like Abraham if Abraham stopped bench pressing engine blocks and instead spent his time eating cake. He also looked ten years older than Abraham, but that faded as soon as he smiled. “Abe!”“Little Lewis!” Abe said as he walked across the entrance hall and picked up Lewis into a big bearhug.I felt a bit like a third wheel as I stood at the back with Amaryllis and the guard commander and Raynald. Not that I would interrupt a meeting between family.Lewis coughed a few times when Abraham finally let go of him. “Ah, come on, Abe, we can talk in one of the living rooms. And you can bring your...” he eyed us all in a hurry. “Guests too.”“Ah-hah!” Abraham said. “Of course! Splendid idea. I haven’t had a good cup of Mattergrove wine in nearly two days! Haha!”The Bristlecone family started to move along and I focused on the younger members. Older people were a little hard to approach sometimes, and the kids, at least the older two, looked to be about my age.The boy was walking with his nose pointing to the ceiling while his upper lip curled up; he didn’t strike me as super friendly. The girl was a lot softer looking, with her head kept down and her eyes focused on the ground when she wasn’t peeking up to spy on Abraham’s back.Lewis paused and looked at Gerald who was following a step behind me and Amaryllis. “Commander Gerald, what are you doing?”“Um,” the commander said. “My job... sir?”“Your job snooping on private family matters?” Lewis asked.“Yes?” the guard said.“How about you go do your job elsewhere?” Lewis suggested in a way that wasn’t terribly suggestive.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.Amaryllis and I glanced at each other but neither of us said anything. That had been a little rude.The living room we were led to was like a cross between a study and a lounge, with a few sofas around a table, some bookshelves on the far wall, and banners hanging around a little hearth off to one side that was currently unlit.“Please, sit down, make yourselves at home,” Misses Bristlecone said as she smiled towards us and gestured to the sofas. “Abraham, you didn’t introduce your... companions. And what varied companions they are. My, a grenoil nobleman and even a... harpy.”Something about the way the woman spoke made me a little wary of her, but I couldn’t quite pin why.“This,” Abraham said as he patted me on the head like a big rude meanie. “Is Broccoli Bunch! Picked her up in Port Royal after she thwarted a kidnapping attempt by some clever cervid and made the director of the Exploration Guild look like quite the fool!”“Um, no, that’s exaggerating!” I said.“And this,” Abraham went on without even listening to my protests. “Is Amaryllis Albatross. She’s loud, but an alright sort deep down. Haha!”“An Albatross?” Misses Bristlecone asked. Her attitude towards Amaryllis made a sudden one-eighty that had me even more on edge.“Yes,” Amaryllis said. “A pleasure to meet you, Countess,” Amaryllis said as she stood a little taller.The Countess seemed to be waiting for something, but whatever it was it didn’t happen and all of a sudden her smile was a lot wider.“Abraham,” I said as I tugged on the man’s sleeve. “You should introduce us to the kids so we can become friends,” I said.Abraham grinned and his eyes practically sparkled. “Of course!” he said before moving over to the two older kids. “This one is Erato,” he said while waving towards the boy. “Don’t let him get in your knickers, he isn’t worth it.”“Um,” I said. I met Erato’s eyes and felt my cheeks warming up. That was far too forward. And also awfully rude. Poor Erato probably didn’t deserve it.Erato looked me up and down then scoffed. “I’m not keen on that sort of woman, uncle,” he said.Judging people too quickly was wrong... but I could make exceptions.“This little bundle of snot is Callio!” Abraham picked up the little boy, who screeched in joy as the older gentleman tossed him into the air, caught him, and placed the kid on one shoulder much to his delight.I noticed that Miss Bristlecone’s smile was rather fixed for a while there.“Ah, and last but certainly not least is my favourite niece!” Abraham said.The girl, who looked to be about my age, blushed a little and stared at the ground, but she still wore a happy little smile. “I-I’m your only niece, uncle Abe,” she said with a voice so soft I could barely hear her.“What’s your name?” I asked. “I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch.” I extended a hand for a shake and tried on my widest and happiest smile for size.“Awa,” she began, her blush deepening even as she grabbed onto the front of her dress. "H-hi, I'm... um, I Aw-Awawen.""You're Awawen? Hi Awawen! Let's be friends!"“N-no,” she said.My hand dropped. “You don’t want to be friends?” I asked.“Yes! I mean, no. My name’s Aw-” She coughed. “It’s Awen, not... not Awawen.”“Oh, sorry,” I said before tapping the side of my head with my knuckles. “I misunderstood. So, do you still want to be friends?”Awen didn’t seem to know how to react and I was afraid I was being a little too forward with her.“Haha! Awen here is a great mechanic!” Abraham said. “But my little brother coddles her too much. You should take her out on an adventure, let her see the world a little!” he said.Awen looked up and our gazes locked. I wasn’t all that good at reading people, especially so soon after meeting them, but there was so much want in her pretty blue eyes that it would have been impossible to miss.“Nonsense,” Lewis said as he returned into the room. “Our little Awen isn’t suited to that kind of life. And she’ll be changing her class soon enough. Mechanic is hardly an appropriate class for a young noble lady.”Awen seemed to shrink into herself and it was all I could do not to reach out and hug her. She looked like someone had just announced that puppies were illegal now.“Bah, tell anyone that protests that they can argue with me if they want,” Abraham said.“Now now, Abe,” Miss Bristlecone said. “You know that Awen has these little bouts of... hysteria at times. No need to get her so excited.”I gasped. “I have something for that!” I said.I dropped my backpack onto the table in the middle of the room and rooted around until, finally, I found my Wand of Cure Hysteria. “Here Awen,” I said as I waved the wand in her direction. “This should help!”Awen’s parents both stared at my wand as if it was a live snake, Erato choked on air and Amaryllis covered her face with all of her talons. She was probably miffed that I was giving away something that might be valuable, but it was for a good cause.“Um, thank you?” Awen said as she took the wand. She inspected it, turning it this way and that. “I... um, how does this work?” she asked.“Oh, I... don’t know exactly,” I said. That was mortifying. How could I give her something like that without even trying to show her how it worked? So I stepped up and poked it, sending some mana into the wand.It started vibrating. The sound was surprisingly loud in the lounge room.“It uses mana,” I said with a proud smile. “I found it while exploring deep in the Darkwoods.”“Oh,” Awen said. “Th-thank you, M-Miss Bunch. Thank you very much,” she said as she hugged it close. Had no one ever given her a gift before? The poor girl.“Y-you should... put that away,” Miss Bristlecone said.“I don’t have pockets,” Awen said with a gesture towards her dress. I think she just didn’t want to put her new gift away, but really, if we were going to have tea and such then her mom was probably right about putting it away for now.I waved the comment away. “Just give it to your brother, he can stuff it somewhere, I’m sure.”
* * *
Chapter Sixty-Nine — Matters of Nobility
Chapter Sixty-Nine — Matters of Nobility
Everyone gathered around the little table in the lounge for a spot of tea provided by Albert the butler. It was nice, though I could feel the looks directed my way by the members of the Bristlecone family.
The parents were mostly impassive, and I couldn’t really tell how they felt about us, but Erato was downright glaring at me. Even Albert the butler seemed to look at me strangely from time to time.
They would also all take some time to stare at the wand I had given Awen which was sitting next to her mug of tea.
The only one who looked my way with anything approaching a positive expression was Awen. She had a small smile for me whenever I glanced her way.
Though that might have been because I was a hero in the tale Abraham was currently spinning. “Ah-hah! And then the little Miss here yanked on the fore sail and had the Shady Lady spin out of the whale’s path! Just in time too, we were almost done for!” he said.
The little boy, Callio 'ahhed’ in awe and I had to admit that did make me feel a little warm inside, even if Abraham was exaggerating a little.
Missus Bristlecone coughed to clear her throat and smiled our way. “May I ask what a young... Lady such as yourself and Miss Albatross here are doing all the way in Greenshade? It is rather out of the way.”
I looked over to Amaryllis, but she shrugged as if to say ‘you take this one.’ “Ah well, we ran into a bit of trouble with the cervid and Abraham said that he was coming this way and that we could ride along with him if we wanted to. Oh, and Amaryllis is about to reach her class evolution and there’s a dungeon she wants to hit not too far away. I thought it would be nice to help her.”
“Indeed,” Amaryllis said. “I’m aware that the areas around Greenshade are mostly explored already, but I considered taking a small mission with the local guild, just to assist us with Guild credits in the future.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Missus Bristlecone said. “I’m surprised that a member of the Albatross clan needed assistance from a humble citizen of Greenshade to come all the way here.”
I blinked. Had she just called Abraham humble? That... didn’t parse. At all.
“I wouldn’t borrow one of the family’s airships just to fly such a short distance,” Amaryllis said.
“Wait,” I said. “You have airships?”
She huffed. “Broccoli. My family owns the third largest airship construction company on Dirt. Of course we have our own ships.”
“Cool! Could you get me a discount when I buy one?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes, but I had the sense she was a little amused. “I suppose. I’ll ask my sister, she runs that side of things now. I’m sure you could win her over with a bit of cajoling.”
Using your charisma to trick people into doing things was wrong, but owning an airship was pretty much the coolest thing a person could do. It was a moral dilemma I would need to think over when I had more time.
“We should be heading out soon,” Amaryllis said. “It’s approaching mid-day and we still have much to do.”
“Of course, of course,” Missus Bristlecone said. “You will of course return here for the night. I won’t have such distinguished guests sleeping in an inn of all places.”
“That’s awfully kind of you, Missus Bristlecone,” I said.
“It’s Countess, actually,” she said with a bit of a titter.
“Oh. Uh,” I said. “Sorry. I was never good at keeping track of that kind of thing. Back where I’m from I could just call a Countess Miss and it was fine.”
Missus... Countess Bristlecone shifted in her seat a little. “Ah, I see.”
“If you girls are heading out, you should take a guide with you!” Abraham said.
Lewis, the family patriarch nodded. “I’m sure Erato would love to accompany you,” he said.
“Bah, that boy?” Abraham said as if the boy in question wasn’t sitting on the same couch as him. “He’d try to pinch one of the girls and would end up with his neck snapped.”
“I— I would never do that,” I said.
“Didn’t you fight off an entire cervid mercenary band?” Abraham asked.
“There were just six of them!”
Erato looked to his father and it didn’t take a genius to see that he was very much against the idea.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Take Awen, the poor girl needs to get out of this shack once in a while and take in some fresh air,” Abraham said.
“Um. Only if she wants to,” I said.
Awen seemed ready to reply, her head already nodding up and down, but her mother was faster. “No, of course she doesn’t,” the Countess said.
I blinked at the older woman. “You’re not Awen,” I said. I slapped a hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry, that came out as really rude.”
Abraham roared with laughter and Countess Bristlecone’s face set as if it was made of plastic, but it was Awen that I was focused on. “I, I wouldn’t mind showing you around, M-Miss Bunch,” she said.
“Brilliant!” I cheered as I bounced to my feet. “Are there street vendors in Greenshade?”
“I... I don’t know?” Awen said.
“Then let’s find out, I skipped breakfast this morning because the food on the ship exploded along with the engine and the only food I have in my bag is kind of lame.”
“Um, are we going now?” Awen asked.
“Uh,” I said. I was the only one standing up besides Albert and I suddenly felt rather awkward about the whole thing. “Why not? The adults can talk about adult stuff in the meantime. And we should be back before it gets dark out, right Amaryllis?”
Amaryllis got to her feet, carefully shifting Orange-who had traitorously chosen her lap over mine-so that the kitty would perched over her shoulder. “I suppose so,” she said. “Albert, would you show us out? Awen, we’ll be waiting for you outside.”
“Bye everyone! I’ll see you later Abraham, and you too, Mister Raynald.” I waved, then jogged after Amaryllis who didn’t seem all that keen on being polite. It was a bit of a recurring theme with her.
“They seem like a nice enough family,” I said as we followed Albert down a corridor that led back towards the entrance hall.
“I suppose,” Amaryllis said. “They’re passable, for humans.”
“Hey! I’m a human too,” I said.
Amaryllis snorted. “Sure you are.”
“Really, they weren’t that bad, were they?” I wondered.
We reached the entrance hall and Albert paused. “Would you ladies want some refreshments while you wait?” he asked.
I shook my head and shifted around so that my backpack was on snug. “I think I’m good, thank you.”
“Likewise,” Amaryllis said before she made a little shooing gesture. Far from looking insulted, Albert bowed at the waist and with a little smile, walked off back towards the rest of the family. Amaryllis watched him go, then turned back towards me. “I don’t like the nobles in Mattergrove. They’re... young.”
“Young?” I asked.
“Most of them are new to their titles and posts. A generation or two at most, especially so close to the frontier like Greenshade is. It means they’re far more prone to back-biting and trying little power plays. In the Nesting Kingdom, most of the clans have been in place for centuries. Things move with a lot more decorum and tact.”
“Okay,” I said. That really didn’t change much for me, as far as I could see. “It doesn’t really matter, I guess, not unless they’re into doing some particularly evil stuff. They don’t do slavery and things like that, right?”
“Slavery? No, of course not,” Amaryllis said. “I think they might have some laws in place to use captured enemy combatants as slaves, if I recall my political lessons on Mattergrove correctly, but the idea of Mattergrove defeating... anyone is hilarious.”
“Awen seems nice,” I said. It was a small change of subjects, but I didn’t want to have Amaryllis ranting about politics when my new potential-friend arrived.
Amaryllis snorted. “She seems more repressed than nice. The girl is pretty typical of a human noble lady. There are two sorts. Those that will poison your wine with a smile, and those who seem terrified of their own shadows.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” I said.
She shrugged. “It’s politics, there’s no fairness involved. I’m looking forward to being on the road again. A new class, another level, more opportunities.“
“More adventure,” I said. The trip over had been fun as heck, but I was looking forward to... more. I didn’t really have a goal set out before me, which was a little strange, now that I thought about it. Back on Earth there were some clear milestones to reach. Finish high school, then work a bit, then go to college, then get a job, then find a nice boy with a strong jawline, then settle down and have a nice little family while working part-time until I retired and could play with my future grandbabies.
Here, on Dirt, I had been given a quest at first, and I suppose that it was still active, but I didn’t have nearly as much direction in my life. If I wanted to I could just start walking and see where that would lead me. I was pretty sure that even Amaryllis would follow me for a way.
Maybe I should begin to set some dreams for myself, some goals. “Hey, how much does an airship cost?”
Amaryllis snorted, then her smile faded a little. “Are you being serious?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said. “A nice one. Maybe not the biggest kind, but something that’s, um, quality.”
“That would depend on a few other things. Buying an older model is possible, though the demand for airships is higher than even the Albatross can provide. A small ship, about the size of the Silver Boot we rode the other day, would be anywhere from eight hundred lesser gold to a thousand two-hundred.”
I hummed. “I have eight lesser gold on me. So I only need a hundred times as much.”
“You idiot,” Amaryllis said. “You’re not thinking of the cost of a crew, the initial equipment you’ll want aboard your ship, the maintenance, the dragon tax and about a hundred other things. That’ll be half-again the base cost.”
So I needed about a thousand two-hundred lesser gold before I could start thinking about buying myself my own airship. “I can do it,” I said.
“I would love to spend hours pointing out how unlikely that is, but I know better than to waste my time like that,” Amaryllis said.
“Don’t be that way,” I said. “When I become Sky Captain Bunch you can be my first mate.”
“Only if I’m allowed to mutiny.”
I giggled and grabbed Amaryllis for a hug because I knew she’d never actually do that and also I felt like giving hugs. She didn’t even protest much, which meant that I was really breaking through all the barriers that prevented us from being the best of friends.
A scuffle off to the side had me looking up.
Awen stood halfway down the stairs, her hands pressed together over her waist and her long dark hair pulled forward so that her bangs partially hid her face.
She had changed. Instead of wearing a stuffy but pretty dress, she was now in a far more practical outfit, still a dress, but it only stopped at her ankles instead of dragging on the ground with every step and there wasn’t nearly as much lace. It was a bright, sky blue, nearly a perfect match for my own dress. She had a bag hanging by her hip, probably filled with all sorts of goodies.
“Ah, I’m here,” she said as she practically tumbled down the stairs. “I’m ready for you, Miss Bunch.”
“Alright! Then let’s hit the road!”
“Why would we do that?” she asked.
“Ah,” I said. “It’s an expression.... Nevermind! We have adventures to go on!” Reaching out, I grabbed Awen’s hand, then one of Amaryllis’ talons and rushed off and out of the mansion.
* * *
Chapter Seventy — In Which Broccoli Kidnaps the Cute
Chapter Seventy — In Which Broccoli Kidnaps the Cute “So, we’re going to the Greenshade Exploration Guild place first, right? And then I guess we can shop around for some of the stuff we’ll need for our adventure?” I asked. I was still holding onto Awen and Amaryllis because... well, because I liked being in contact with my friends. Amaryllis might complain that I was touchy-feely, but she wasn’t wrong.“That’s about right, yes,” Amaryllis said. She looked around, but both sides of the street before the Bristlecone manor were lined by pretty houses with little yards, and no indication of any sort of guild buildings. “Miss Bristlecone, could you guide us to the guild building?”Awen was staring at my hand, her face looking a little red. It took a moment before the silence seemed to snap her attention around. “Um, pardon me?”“The guild building,” Amaryllis said.“Awa? Oh yes, I can do that. It’s— it’s that way.” She pointed off to one side then squeaked when I started marching off in that direction.“So, Awen, are you a member of any guilds?” I asked.“N-no, I’m not,” she said. “I thought of joining the mechanic’s guild, they’re not very big yet, and they have lots of work, but, um, it’s not suitable for someone of my station.”I worked to keep a scowl off my face. It wouldn’t do to have a new friend think I was a scowler. “That’s too bad. I bet you’re a great mechanic.”Awen shook her head, a fresh new blush climbing to her cheeks. “I’m really not. I don’t have nearly enough experience, and I have... other obligations.”“Oh,” I said. “But do you like tinkering with things?”“I love it!” Awen said. She coughed a little, as if the outburst had taken something from her. “I mean, yes, I enjoy it. I only ever get to work on things for my uncle. It’s how I got the class, actually.”“That sounds like a story,” I said. “Do tell!”“Really?” she asked. I nodded a whole bunch. “Oh, awa... w-well one day, when I was about the age that Callio is now, Uncle Abe came to visit and he left this big repeating crossbow in the dining room. It was a model from the Snowlands, with a system that used a rack and pinion mechanism that slid a new bolt into place. It was very intricate, and one of the prettiest things I had ever seen.”“Say what you will of the Snowlanders,” Amaryllis said. “Their trinkets are impressive. We have been trying to catch up to their industrial ability for some time. And while we can outproduce them with ease, the quality of their engineering isn’t as easy to reproduce.”“Yes,” Awen agreed. “It was very well built, but Uncle Abe was a little rough with it.”“I can imagine that,” I said.Awen nodded. “He used it to club a drop bear. A-anyway. The problems with it were all small, and there were some tools around, so I... fixed it. And I got the Mechanic class. Uncle was very happy but my parents weren’t.”“Why not?” I asked.Awen shifted and her grip around my hand tightened. She seemed to be looking for the right words to say, but Amaryllis beat her to it with an exasperated huff. “The humans around here have some weird notions about class and nobility, especially the younger clans... pardon, families. It’s all quite backwards.”“That’s awful,” I said. I couldn’t imagine my parents being disappointed in me, let alone expressing disappointment when I found something that suited me and that I enjoyed doing. As long as it didn’t hurt others or anything like that, it could only be a good thing. “Well Awen, I like your class. Mechanics are cool.”“You... do?” she asked.“Yup. There are a lot of machines where I’m from, so people that build them and fix them are really important.” I nodded. “Oh, and I’ll need a bunch of mechanics when I buy my airship one of these days.”Amaryllis snorted at that, but Awen was practically glowing. “Awaa... I wish I could join you on your airship, Miss Bunch.”“I don’t see why you couldn’t,” I said.Awen looked away, the spark in her eyes dying off like an ember being doused. “I have responsibilities with my family.”“Like, with a business or something?” I asked.“No, not like that,” Awen said. She didn’t add to it though, instead she gestured to the road ahead. “The Guild buildings are mostly along this road.”Greenshade’s guild row bore some resemblance to Port Royal’s. There were colourful and strange buildings all along the street, crystalline towers, buildings with large signs on the front and some that looked like castles in miniature. It was as if the guilds were trying to outdo their neighbours in terms of sheer opulence and strangeness.The differences between Greenshade and Port Royal mostly amounted to the height of the buildings. Few reached up to two floors, and only the mage’s guild, with its peaked tower, rose above that. There was another one of those buildings with a bunch of poles sticking out of it with large panels that were moving on it that was also pretty tall, but that was it.“Why are they all so short?” I wondered.Awen blinked dumbly at me for a moment.“The buildings, I mean.”“Oh, awa, it’s because it’s hot here. Most buildings have extensive basements. A large part of Greenshade is underground.” Awen explained. “The population tends to move a lot. Um, most of the people here are from caravans and such, not residents.”“Huh, neat,” I said. It was a little hot, but the air was so dry that it wasn’t an uncomfortable heat. The few people I saw walking around were almost all wearing light and breezy clothes, especially the workers who seemed to favour sandy-coloured cloth that looked very light. “Hey, Amaryllis, what season is it?”A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.She snorted. “We’re in early Autumn,” she said.“Neat,” I said.We found the Exploration Guild building halfway down the street. It was, in my opinion, one of the pretty buildings. Taller than most, with a set of towers with bay windows on both ends and a wide inviting porch at the front.I let go of the girls’ hands and hopped forwards to open the door for them.“Awa, thank you,” Awen said as she stepped in. Amaryllis just rolled her eyes.The inside was noticeably cooler, so much so that I wondered if they had some sort of air conditioning. I knew there were runes and magic to keep food fresh, but was there something that could work for a whole building? Or was it a combination of many runes working together?Just as with the guild building over in Port Royal, this one had a tiny museum at the front and a few little knick-knacks and tools that were meant to help explorers on pedestals. The differences weren’t just in scale though. The pedestals here were made of wood and the maps and dioramas seemed a lot simpler than those over in Port Royal.“I’ll take care of this one,” Amaryllis said. “How about you go look for a mission we can accomplish while we’re out. We’re heading over to Rosenbell, so anything between here and there that’s low-risk would do.”“Is there like a wall with all of the missions pinned on it?” I asked.“What? No. There’s a book by the front desk. Why would you pin things to a wall? That’s just asking for some idiot to tear the mission details off and run with them.” She shook her head. “I’m going to report that we’re in the region.”I waved her off and then looked for the book with the missions and found it at one end of the counter behind which the branch’s secretary sat.“Are you new to the guild?” Awen asked.I grinned as I opened the book and started to leaf through it. “Yup. I’ve been on an adventure or two, but I’m still really new. Amaryllis is too.”“Awa, that sounds wonderful,” Awen said.“You could join the guild,” I said. “I’m pretty sure they have training and such, and not all of the missions they give are supposed to be dangerous.” The missions outlined in the book were mostly requests to map out certain areas. Some, those that paid better, asked for people to explore certain dungeons, or even retrieve certain items.“My parents wouldn’t let me,” Awen said. She slumped a little, her shoulder folding in even as her hands pressed together.I wasn’t too sure what to say. She looked miserable, but maybe her parents just wanted her to be safe? After all, the stories that Abraham spouted made it clear that not everything was safe out there. It took a special kind of someone to want to go wrestle a drake or fistfight a bear.“What do your parents want you to do?” I wondered.I was focused on the book, so it took a moment for the quiet to really settle in and grow awkward.When I looked up it was to find that Awen was staring at the floor as if it was a puzzle to solve. “I’m to be married,” she said. “To a duke in Port Hazel.”“Um,” I said. Usually, congratulations would be in order, but she didn’t seem keen on that.“He, awa, he wants me to bear his kids and, and stay at home. B-but first I need to change my class. T-take something that’s appropriate for my station. Um, maybe something that will make it easier for me to give birth?”I felt my breath catching in my throat. “What? I mean, do you want that?”Awen shook her head.I worked my jaw, looking for the right thing to do in this situation.In the end though, the right thing to do was very easy. The first step, of course, was to give Awen a hug.She squeaked as I glomped her and held her close. “You poor thing,” I said.The second step in helping a friend out of a bad situation was, of course, kidnapping.“You’re coming with us,” I said.“Awa-what?”I stepped back, still gripping her by the shoulders. “You’re coming with us. We can leave right away when we’re done here.” I looked her up and down. “We’ll have to stop and buy you some nice gear first. I have a few gold, and I’m sure Amaryllis would pitch in.”“Awawa... why? I mean, you can’t, my parents-”“Are big fat meanies if they’re doing things to you that you don’t want done.” I huffed just like Amaryllis did. “You could come with us, get some levels, go on a big adventure, and when you return you’ll be a whole new person. Or, well, I guess you could stay. I’m not going to make you come with us.”“No, I mean, yes, I want to,” Awen said. Her lip wobbled and she dabbed at her eyes in a hurry before trying on a wobbly smile for me. “I really want to, Miss Bunch.”“Why is the girl crying?” Amaryllis asked as she walked over to us.“Ah,” I said. Now came the complicated part. Explaining to Amaryllis that I was planning on kidnapping a new potential-friend.“Awa, Miss Bunch, she, she wants to save me,” Awen said. She snorted in a most unlady-like way.“Broccoli, are you being an idiot again?” Amaryllis asked.“No?”She gave me a flat look. “Are you certain, Broccoli? Because I’m getting some very dumb vibes from this general area, and Awen here doesn’t seem like someone who’s braindead.”“Well,” I said. “I might have agreed to consensually kidnap Awen to bring her on an adventure with us. And I might, maybe, have said that you’d help pay for it?”“World damn it, Broccoli.”
Chapter Seventy-One — Friendship is Magical
Chapter Seventy-One — Friendship is Magical “You... agree?” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Unfortunately, I do.”I looked around the Exploration Guild’s lobby, just to make sure there wasn’t some sort of prank wizard hiding in one corner, then, with a growing smile, I turned to Awen and grabbed both of her hands. “Amaryllis agrees! We’re going to kidnap you so hard!”“Awa, I, I look forward to it, I think,” Awen said.Amaryllis cleared her throat. “Do you at least want to hear my reasoning?” she wondered aloud.“Sure!” I said. “I know you love talking.”She glared, not that it stopped her from explaining. “Awen deserves better, which is already a decent start. This will ingratiate us with Abraham, her fool of an uncle, and if Awen gains any power in the future she might be indebted to us, and I don’t like the local humans.”“Ah, that last one was a little... speciest,” I said. “But it’s... for a good cause?”“Sure,” Amaryllis agreed. “Did you pick out a mission?”I shook my head. “Not really. I did see one that looked neat, but we got to talking about kidnapping Awen and I got distracted. Sorry?”Amaryllis huffed and moved over to the mission book. “Show me.”The mission that I had found was fairly simple. Travel out of Greenshade heading North and collect samples of any interesting or useful plants along the way, then return the samples, and a map of their locations, back to the Guild who would provide it to a local Alchemist’s group. “I think no one took it yet because it’s kind of boring to most people.”“But you have a Gardening skill that might help you with it. No tight deadline either. We can grab this and use it as an excuse to meander along our route for a ways. If we’re careful we’ll find easy things to fight and gain experience with.”“That sounds wonderful,” I said.“Awa, f-fight?” Awen said.“Don’t worry, Awen, Broccoli will keep you safe,” I said while flashing her a thumbs-up.Amaryllis sighed. “I doubt your ability to keep yourself safe,” she said. “The area around Greenshade and towards the Nesting Kingdom should be relatively safe. We, that is, the harpy clans, make a point of keeping the area around the foothills of the Harpy Mountains clear of the more threatening monsters.”I grinned and nodded along. “Cool! So, we’re taking the mission?”Amaryllis agreed and soon she was back by the counter and registering the two of us for a bit of flower picking. Last time I had tried something like that, I had met Oak, so maybe this time would be just as fun. Though hopefully with fewer tentacle monsters. Awen didn’t seem to have the constitution for dealing with those.When Amaryllis had finished up with all the dull paperwork stuff, we began to head out. The moment I started to reach a hand for Awen she placed hers in mine, though she did it with a bit of a blush.“Miss Bunch?” Awen asked.“You can call me Broccoli,” I said.“I like calling her moron, or idiot,” Amaryllis said with more than a little snark. “It is both amusing and keeps her feet on Dirt.”“Awaaa Br-Broccoli,” Awen stuttured. “Why are you helping me? I appreciate it, really, but I’m just me.”I shook my head. “That’s a silly way of thinking about things. How about you point us towards a place where we can buy some good gear in a hurry and we’ll chat along the way. If you’re going to be an adventure buddy then we should learn more about each other.”“Um, that way,” Awen said. “And what do you mean by silly?”I didn’t want to dismiss her concern out of hand. In fact, it was all rather spur of the moment, even for me. Awen’s story was sad, true, but not disastrous. If I didn’t help her she would live a miserable life, yeah, but that was it. That was enough for me to want to help her. Plus, she seemed nice. A little shy, maybe, but the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her uncle and her tiny kernels of dreams made me want to just squish her cheeks.“How many people live in Greenshade?” I asked.Awen blinked. “Aw-about forty thousand fixed citizens. Twice as many vagrants who come and go?”She didn’t sound entirely sure, but that was okay. “How many need a friend?” I asked. “How many of them are in need of a few more copper, or could use a warm blanket or a place to rest for the night?”“I, I don’t know,” Awen said. She curled in on herself, which was silly. It wasn’t her fault that the world wasn’t always a nice place.“I’m only the one Bun, I can’t be all of their friends. Some might need it more than you, but I can’t be there for all of them. But that’s no excuse not to be the friend of the person that needs one who is right in front of me. You look like you need a friend, really badly too. Um... do you have other friends?”Awen shook her head. “The maids, some of them. But, most got fired after getting too close.”I pouted, that was just cruel. “Well then, I’ll be your friend. And Amaryllis too.”“Don’t go volunteering my friendship like that,” Amaryllis said.“Hmph, fine, then I’ll be a super good friend to you, and you’ll win over Amaryllis by being really nice to her, and like, preening her feathers or something.”Amaryllis trilled. “As if I’d let your clumsy human fingers touch my plumage.”“Amaryllis is actually very cuddly, but she puts on a prickly exterior because she thinks that it makes her look cool,” I told Awen.The girl nodded seriously while Amaryllis squawked and denied the obvious truth.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“Anyway, my point is that Broccoli Bunch says yes to friendship, and I guess it was coincidence or fate or whatever that I happened to bump into you while my friendship quota was unfilled.”“You have a quota?” Amaryllis asked.I nodded. “Yes. How many people are there on Dirt?”“Idiot.”“Miss... Broccoli,” Awen said while her hand squeezed mine a little harder and she focused on the path below. “Thank you. I’ll, I’ll try to be the best friend you’ve ever had. I promise!”Holding hands with Awen turned out to be useful. It made it easier to pull her into a big tight hug. I only stopped it when her face had gone so red that I was afraid that she might have been running out of air.We gathered a few looks, but I guess we-or at least Amaryllis and Awen-looked important enough that no one made a fuss. There were a lot more people around, and the area had changed a little, with more homes and quite a few businesses. None that looked as grand as those in Port Royal, and judging by the dismissive look on Amaryllis’ face, she was going to comment on how plebeian they all were, but I saw signs on stores that promised to sell what we needed.The first stop was a general goods store, where I dragged Awen up to the counter and asked the clerk, a younger human boy, if they had any pre-made travelling bags.Then, with Awen hugging her new backpack-one a bit smaller than my own-to her chest, we moved over to a clothing shop across the street.“There are a bunch of things we’ll need, besides the blankets and food and such we got,” I said. “You’ll need a knife, for little things, like cutting food and rope and plants. And you’ll need some sort of weapon too, I guess. I have a spear you could use... I had a spear. Oh, shucks, I forgot my spear!”“You dolt,” Amaryllis said. “I tossed it in my bank, no worries. Now, if you give her your spear, what will you use to defend yourself?”“My shovel and my wits?” I asked.Amaryllis laughed, in her strange, whistle-y way. “Might as well bow down and let yourself die, then.”I harrumphed and pointed off to a shop at one end of the street. There was a large chimney sticking out the back, and the air smelled like charcoal the closer we came to it. “We can buy her something usable there,” I said.“I— will I really need a weapon?” Awen asked.I considered it, but the answer was rather obvious. “You’ll want to try to negotiate your way out of any fight first, but sometimes that just doesn’t work out and you need to fight. It’s not fun, and it’s not pretty, but I guess it is part of the adventure.”“Awa, I see. Uncle Abe’s stories have lots of fights in them,” she said.“I can assure you any battle we enter will be nothing like a fight involving that man,” Amaryllis said.The weapon’s shop was filled with racks and racks of shiny tools of death and destruction. The place smelled like oil and wax and sweat and I loved it instantly. “Ohhh,” I cooed as I skipped down to a rack that held a whole slew of pretty swords.“You have Inspect?” Amaryllis asked.“Insight,” I corrected.She nodded as she looked around. “Then we’ll be using that to find something. Half of these are awful.” She tapped one of the prettier swords with a talon.A cheap steel sword of very common quality.“Aww,” I said.“Awa,” Awen said. “I don’t know what to use.”I looked over to Amaryllis, who was my expert at all things non-friendship related. The harpy sighed and shook her head. “You’re a human, which means you have pretty little hands and decent arm strength. I’m assuming you don’t have any offensive magics? Of course not. Maybe... a warhammer? Broccoli is a surprisingly nimble fighter, and I’m better at range. We could use someone to act as... bait.”“Bait,” Awen repeated faintly.I gave her a side hug. “We can get you a big hammer to scare the monsters away with. And hammers can be used as tools, right? Do you think there are any mechanical weapons here?”“None that I would trust,” Amaryllis said.“I, I think a hammer would be okay,” Awen said. “My uncle had one for some time. It was a good weapon, he said.”“Brilliant!” I said. A few of the other customers glanced my way, but they went back to minding their own business soon enough. I drug Awen over to a wall rack that had a bunch of hammers on display. Plenty of them were all black with spikes and heads made to look like wolves or dragons and such, most of those were of rather poor quality. One caught my eye because it was shorter and really simple. Just a steel head, a few metal bits holding that in place, and a nice shaft made of some dark wood.“Insight,” I said while pushing some mana into the skill.A simple warhammer of Uncommon Quality. Recently modified after the hilt was damaged.“This one is nice,” I said as I handed the hammer to Awen. She weighed it in both hands, gave me an uncertain look, then swung the hammer around a few times while I backed out of kneecapping range.“Awa, I, I think I like it,” she said.“Neat!” I said before dragging Awen to the counter where a young woman in an apron was waiting. “I’ll pay for this one.”“Th-thank you, Miss Bunch,” Awen said.“Wait, why didn’t I get thanked for buying that backpack of yours?” Amaryllis asked. “Am I just a canary to you two?”“You’re the prettiest canary,” I said.It was a little hard to pay for the hammer while Amaryllis bonked my head, but I managed.
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Chapter Seventy-Two — The Adventurer Look
Chapter Seventy-Two — The Adventurer Look “Hmm,” I said.“Hrm,” Amaryllis agreed.Awen balled her fists in the material of her skirt. “Awa, is something wrong?”I nodded, but instead of answering her, I looked around the shop we had found our way over to. It was filled with clothes of all sorts, most of it on mannequins, but a lot of it hooked onto wooden walls with slats to keep the clothes in place.This wasn’t a shop like the one Amaryllis had brought me to. It felt a little cheaper, and while some of the clothes on display were nice, some lacked... refinement? I couldn’t quite pin why, but it was obvious that the quality here was just a pinch lower than what was available in Port Royal. And this was supposed to be the best shop for delving and exploration clothes.“I’m not sure,” I said.“Frankly, nor am I,” Amaryllis agreed.Awen, who was still wearing the same pretty dress she had come in with, shifted nervously from foot to foot. “Sure about what?”“How to make you look like a proper adventurer,” I said. “See, looking good while out on an adventure is really important.”“It is?” Awen asked.I nodded. “Does your uncle spend a lot of time taking care of his magnificent mustache?”“Awa, I guess he does?”“Well there you have it,” I said. “So, we need to make you look awesome.”“I, I don’t know if I can do that,” Awen said.I snorted. “‘Course you can! Amaryllis and I will fix you right up! First, we need to figure out what sort of outfit we’re aiming for, though. You’re a mechanic right? We could lean into that. Go for something with lots of pockets.”“I like that idea,” Amaryllis said. “Some pants. They have decent ones around here somewhere.”“Pants?” Awen said. “I’ve never worn pants before.”“Really?” I asked. “I like skirts better myself, but even I’m wearing shorts underneath. See?” I grabbed the hem of my skirts, which were fairly thick on account of the padding, and lifted them to reveal the shorts beneath.“Awaaaaa,” was all Awen said. She stared for a long few seconds before her face went very red and she slapped both hands over her eyes. “I’ll wear the pants,” she squeaked.I dropped my skirts and looked at Amaryllis, but she was just shaking her head.“We can wear whatever, really,” I said. “This is for you, so you should pick out things that you like. We’re just here to, uh, mentor you along. We’re your Obi Wan. But... without the... that was a bad example.”“You’re being stupid again. More so than usual,” Amaryllis said.I stuck my tongue out at her and walked over to Awen to help her out.What followed was a flurry of activity as Awen hesitated over every option Amaryllis and I pointed out, and only set aside a few things for her to try on. Fortunately, the shopkeeper didn’t seem to mind our ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ over their stuff.“That,” Awen said.I paused while looking at a little rack covered in belts and, after following her gaze, found that Awen was staring at a long coat on a hanger way off in the back of the room. It reminded me of a trench coat, with a few buckles around the waist and a flaring bottom. It was done in what looked like a fairly breathe-y material that was almost exactly the same blue as my own outfit.“You like it?” I asked.“Awa, I mean... yes?” she said. “If it’s not too much?”“Of course it isn’t, not if you like it!”Awen’s new outfit, which she ended up changing into in a little booth to one side, was quite plain and somewhat unassuming. Long pants of a dark brown material, a blouse made of a thick cotton and my new boots that I never really got around to wearing.She had a bandolier over that, and a pair of belts, one to hold up her pants, the other with a loop for her hammer.And, of course, the entire thing was covered by her long coat, buckled at the front in a way that almost made it look like a dress. It tied the outfit together quite nicely.“I like it,” I said with a thumbs up.“Th-thank you,” Awen said. She shifted on the spot a little, her knees rubbing together in a way that her skirts would have hidden. Poor thing, she was so nervous! So I glomped her for good measure.“Now you’re ready for adventure!” I said.The shopkeeper coughed.“Just as soon as we pay!”
* * *
“Are you comfortable?” I asked.Awen shifted a little, blonde hair falling down the nape of her neck and into her new coat. We were going to need to get her a nice hat to finish the ensemble, and maybe something a bit more armoured for underneath, but she did look great.“I’m comfortable, yes,” she said. “Um, the pants pull at my thighs, but I think that’s normal?”“I can check you out later, for chafing or the like, if you want.”“Awa! N-no! No, I’m okay,” Awen said.I shrugged and looked up to the gates ahead of us. We all came to a slow stop before them and kind of just, stared. The gates weren’t anything special, just a large building set into a stone wall with a bus-sized portcullis and a few guards standing by. The city continued on the other side of the gate, with smaller homes and tents and the like.Leaving, at least for me, was just the first step on another adventure. But for Awen...The girl’s legs were trembling, her eyes were wide, and I was afraid that she might start hyperventilating at any moment.“Are you sure?” I asked her. “You could always stay?”Awen looked back over her shoulder, deeper into the city, then back to the gate and the wide world beyond. She tried to speak, but no words came out.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Then, with a face set with growing determination and a fire that sparked in her eyes, she stomped forwards and out of the city.“She’s pretty brave, I’ll give her that much,” Amaryllis said as she watched our new friend go.“What do you think of her?” I asked.“She’s inexperienced, naive, gullible and likely to get herself into trouble at the first opportunity,” Amaryllis said. “But she also seems well-educated and smart, which is more than I can say about my other friend.”“You called me your friend!”“Idiot,” Amaryllis said as she started after Awen.Not to be outdone, I ran after the pair of them and glomped Awen from behind. “Well done,” I whispered into her ear. “I’m really proud of you.”“Awa! Th-thanks!”I gave her a last squeeze, then grabbed her hand and started running ahead. “C’mon, it’s past midday! If we want to find a neat place to camp we ought to get going!”“You’re the one that made us stop at nearly every shop,” Amaryllis said.I stuck out my tongue at her before a delighted giggled tore its way out of my throat. Maybe it was having a new friend, maybe it was walking off into another adventure, or maybe it was just the sun shining above and the happy sounds of a bustling city. Either way, I felt like every step I took could launch me into the sky.Greenshade’s outer regions, basically everything past the walls, were a mix of much smaller homes and large tents, dotted with the occasional warehouse and store. The people here weren’t dressed as prettily as those in Port Royal. Drab clothes with stains so old that removing them would probably ruin the cloth and I saw plenty of men who were just not wearing shirts or shoes.We had to pause at one intersection to let a flock of sheep pass by, led by a bored shepherd who seemed practiced at ignoring the jabs and insults of the other people blocked on the road.There was even a stench to the air, one that had Awen pressing the sleeve of her new coat over her mouth and nose.“This place is filthy,” Amaryllis said.“The people here must get very sick,” I added as I watched a group of human kids run after a wooden loop. They were all barefoot and covered in mud from head to toe.Awen nodded. “We have lots of problems with illnesses. We hire a lot of healers, but the moment one sickness is put down another rises up, and the greater part of the population is made up of caravaneers and vagrants. They bring new ones all the time.”I shivered and let loose a small burst of cleaning magic around myself. I hoped it worked on bacteria and the like.The number of houses thinned out as we reached the northern outskirts and were replaced by lots with tents and wagons and carriages parked by pens that held big horses.The roads turned from cobbles to packed dirt, and then back to cobbles again as we reached the very end of the city.Greenshades didn’t have an outer wall. Instead, the city just... ended. It was a little jarring to go from a stinky road where you needed to avoid droppings on every other step to a wide open countryside with... a bit less poop on the roads.“I’m... out?” Awen asked.I grinned. “I guess you are,” I said. “Amaryllis, do you know the region at all?”“Not very well, no,” Amaryllis admitted. “But we’re aiming for Rosenbell, which is to the North West.” She pointed off in that direction, towards a road that moved through a bunch of orchards.“Awa,” Awen said. “Um, if you go straight that way, we’ll need to cross part of the desert.”“So, we should go another way?” I asked.Awen clasped her hands together. “If, if you want, yes? It’s safer to go straight North, then turn west once you’re a bit past the desert, otherwise, um, the sand and the heat can be pretty bad.”“Ah yes, sand, it gets everywhere,” I said, then pouted because no one in this world was going to get my awesome references. “Whelp, off we go!”“J-just like that?” Awen asked.“Yup!” I said as I began walking North. Amaryllis snorted and was by my side a moment later, and I heard Awen’s boots thumping behind me as she ran to keep up.“Oh, okay. Awa, if... if I’m not very good at adventuring, can, can you help me? Again? I know I’m asking for a lot, but I swear, I’ll work hard, and I’ll improve.”“Don’t be silly,” I said. “As long as you try your best and are a good friend, then having you along will just make the adventure ever more fun.”Awen nodded so hard her hair was whipping back and forth behind her. “Yes! I promise, I’ll do my best. I'm going to be just like you, Broccoli.”“I sure hope not,” Amaryllis said. “The world has enough of one Broccoli.”“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said.“It means your eternal optimism and naivety are lowering the world’s average intelligence,” Amaryllis snarked back.“Yeah, but I’m increasing the world’s average friendliness, so I’m making it a better place,” I said. “All you’re doing is making it even snobbier.”Amaryllis squawked. “I’m not snobbish!”“The most snobbiest,” I said.The harpy bumped her shoulder against mine, and trilled happily before she let loose a long string of insults about me, my intelligence, and every choice I had ever made. Awen stared wide-eyed, but I think she clued in on the fact that neither of us were really angry at each other, because she wore a happy little smile as she watched us bicker back and forth.Soon, we’d get her to join in on it too.It was a fun start to what would no doubt be a grand adventure!
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Chapter Seventy-Three — Denying Moronity
Chapter Seventy-Three — Denying Moronity “Skipping,” I explained to Awen who was listening with rapt attention. “Is the very best way to travel. Not only is it more fun than just walking, it also lets you practice your jump skill and it’s a bit faster.”“Ah, I see,” Awen said.Amaryllis shook her head, and unlike Awen, she didn’t start skipping next to me because she was just unfun that way.The area around Greenshade, or at least to the immediate North, was flat, only marked by the occasional patches of trees or a jutting boulder or two. The ground wasn’t even though, with a slight downhill grade that made it hard not to break out into a jog. It would be hard to walk back to the city up the slight incline, but that was a problem for us on the way back.So far, we’d been walking for a few hours, with only one or two little breaks. Awen’s first bathroom pause-behind a large rock-had left the girl quite red faced and embarrassed. I suppose she had never really roughed it before.I had to be extra-nice to her to make up for it. The adventuring life could be a little harsh. I loved it, but not everyone would, and I didn’t want her to get disillusioned. If she decided that it wasn’t for her, then that would be sad, but I’d still do my best to make it so that she was happy while doing whatever else she chose to do!We stepped to the side of the road as a caravan rolled past. It hadn’t been the first to move by, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. There seemed to be a fair amount of traffic so close to the city, but Awen assured us that it thinned out the farther we would go.Most of that traffic came from the North, from the independent cities. Some came from other parts of Mattergrove, and still some came from the huge desert to the West, though the last was a bit uncommon.“Look, flowers!” I said as I pointed ahead. There were, indeed, some flowers growing next to the road a little ways ahead. They caught my eye because they were a bright, cheery yellow, with hundreds of tiny flowers all clumped together at the end of a stalk.“Can you identify it?” Amaryllis asked.“Sure thing,” I said as I stopped near them. The flowers seemed to turn to face my way, so I didn’t dare approach them too much. “Insight.”Common Goldenrod.“Hmm,” I said. I moved to the flower’s other side and the plant shifted so that the flowers followed me around, aleit slowly. “Neat,” I said as I dropped my backpack and searched for my copy of Herbs for Healing, Plants for Power.“This is, um, part of your mission, right?” Awen asked as she stopped nearby.“Yup. I have the Gardening skill, so I figured it would be a neat mission to take. That, and I get to grind my skills a little. Gardening is approaching disciple. Not sure if I’ll put any points into it yet.”“Have you decided on how you’ll distribute your early points?” Amaryllis asked.I nodded as I rifled through the book. “Yeah. I’m going to get Cleaning to Expert. I have the skill points for it, but Cleaning isn't ready to rank up yet.”“Expert Cleaning, huh?” Amaryllis said. “Can’t say I’ve ever heard of anyone bothering to get it that high,” Amaryllis said. “What about you, Awen?”“Awa? N-no. We have some maids who have Cleaning, and Albert has it too, I think.”“Aha!” I said as I found the page on Goldenrod.GoldenrodA common plant found in open prairies and plains. The flowers will always face the sun or the nearest source of gold if said source is near enough. Some thieves plant this flower within cities to pick out people carrying valuables on their person. The stem and roots have uses as simple anti-inflammatories and cures for toothache. The flower can be used in the creation of the GoldenEye potion.There was a recipe for a simple potion that would act as an anti-inflammatory, but nothing about the GoldenEye potion. I shut my book and approached the flower. It didn’t move my way, probably because my gold was in my pack.“Thank you, miss flower,” I said as I bowed to the flower. I cut off a few stems with my knife and yanked out a few roots, then cleaned them up before turning it into a neat bundle that I slid into a pouch. “Ready to move on?” I asked the others.“Yes!” Awen said.I grinned at her enthusiasm. “Alright! Let’s go!”“What did I do to deserve this?” Amaryllis asked the skies.Giggling, I pulled at her taloned hand and started moving again. We had a few days of travel left, most of it over roads that seemed rather quiet. It would be a great opportunity to get to know each other.“Miss Bunch?”“Call me Broccoli,” I said. “We’re friends, right?”“Awaa... th-then call me Awen,” Awen said. “You have the Gardening and Cleaning skills, yes?”“I do,” I said.“Um, are they important to adventuring? I’m not sure if my skills are good for this or not,” Awen said.I shrugged. “They’re good for adventuring the way I like to do it, but that doesn’t mean they would be good for you,” I said. “I guess it depends on what your role in a team is, and maybe whether or not you intend to adventure alone.”“I’d rather adventure with you, Broccoli, than alone,” Awen said.“Aww, you’re just so cute!” I said as I grabbed Awen into a sidelong hug.Awen shook her head, her cheeks warming up. “No, no I don’t have that skill.”I froze up, then laughed. It might have sounded a little high-pitched. “Of course not, of course not. No one has that. Haha.”“I’m just worried that I’ll slow you down, Broccoli,” Awen said. “I’m only level eight, and I know that I should be stronger, but I’m not.”If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.“No one’s worried about slowing me down?” Amaryllis asked. “Broccoli, pass Orange over to me. At least the cat’s indifference feels natural.”I blinked, then smiled sheepishly at Amaryllis. “Don’t worry Amaryllis. You’re my best friend in this world. There’s no way I’d forget about you. You don’t need to be jealous!”“I’m not jealous,” Amaryllis said... jealously.I raised my other arm, an invitation for her to join the hug.Amaryllis huffed.I wiggled my arm in the air and let my lower lip wobble a little.Amaryllis crossed her wings, looked the other way, and slowly walked in such a way that she somehow, through no fault of her own, ended up within hugging range.Grinning so hard that my cheeks hurt, I hugged my friends close until Amaryllis huffed and pulled away and I had to let go of Awen because her face was turning very red. Was I making it hard for her to breathe?“Anyway,” I said. “Don’t worry about your level Awen, you’re a level above me already, and we’ll only get stronger as we adventure!”“Awa, I am?”“Yup! I’m only level seven.”Amaryllis eyed Awen for a bit. “Still, eight levels with your original class in... how old are you?”“I’m fifteen?” Awen said.“A year younger than me,” I said.“R-really,” Awen said. “Oh, thank the world, I was worried that I would be so far behind.”I snorted. There was no way she would be that far behind me, of all people. “So, what kind of skills do you have?”“That’s a rather rude question to ask,” Amaryllis said.I blinked. “Didn’t you ask me something similar not so long ago?”“Yes, but you’re an incompetent moron who doesn’t know that it’s taboo to be asked that kind of thing,” Amaryllis said.“B-Broccoli isn’t incompetent,” Awen said.Amaryllis trilled. “You’re not denying that she’s a moron?”“Awa! That’s not what I meant!”I couldn’t help but giggle as Awen waved her hands in the air and made motions as if to deny everything. “I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have asked that,” I said once things calmed down. “I tend to be very proactive at sticking my foot in my mouth.”Awen smiled at the ground. “That’s... okay. It’s endearing. Um. As for my skills, I don’t mind telling Miss Broccoli.”We all paused as a carriage rolled up before us and rattled past on the way to Greenshade, the man at the reins looking half-asleep. When the dust cleared off the road we continued our trek.“My skills aren’t very impressive. Um. I have Tinkering, as a starting skill for my Mechanic’s class. Um, did you want me to explain them as I go?”“I’d love to hear about it, yeah!” I said. Learning more was definitely a good idea.Awen flushed. She was probably the kind of girl that would have hated to make presentations in front of the whole class. “Awa, yes, well. I have Tinkering, as I said. That allows me to make things with more ease. Book Smart, which is to help me learn from reading.”Amaryllis nodded. “That’s a good skill. I have it as a general.”“Ah, yes. Um. Kitbash, which is to make things with... non-standard parts. Clockwork, which is a skill that helps make timed devices and that helps with, um, my timing?”“So cool,” I said.Awen flushed harder. The poor thing. She was like a puppy that had never gotten any love, and everyone knows that puppies deserve literally all the love.“And, my last skill is Mad Scientist. It’s, ah, it allows me to enter a fugue state to build things. It’s a little strange.”“It sounds awesome!”Amaryllis looked at Awen for a bit. “That’s a rather focused spread of skills, I’m reluctantly impressed.”“Thank you, miss Albatross,” Awen said.“What about your general skills?” I asked. “I just got a new one called Physical Manakinesis, and I need to practice it a bunch soon to get good.”“Ah, well, mine aren’t all that great,” Awen said. Her hands clasped together over her tummy and her head bowed a little more. “I have... Unnoticeable. It allows me to go unnoticed.”She definitely needed more hugs. And maybe her parents deserved a stern talking-to.“And I have Etiquette, Dance, Instrumentalist and Embroidery.”Amaryllis made a happy humming sound. “Instrumentalist is impressive, that must have taken some effort to obtain.”“What is it?” I wondered.“It’s a skill,” Amaryllis began. “That allowed a person to better play musical instruments. It’s a merged skill. I think you need three separate musical skills to unlock it. Awen here must have spent some time learning to play different instruments.”“Awa, the flute and the piano, mostly,” she said. “Um, uncle would bring strange instruments home too. I have... had a lute.”“So, if we find you a new lute, you could play music for us when we camp?” I asked.“Speaking of camp,” Amaryllis said. She gestured ahead of us, to where the monotony of the open plains was broken up by a little patch of woodlands. “We could set up there. It’s a little early for it still, but better to camp near a ready source of wood than in an open field where the wind will toss our tents away.”“I’ve never set up a camp before,” Awen said. “I hope you don’t mind showing me how?”“I’d love to!” I said. A look at the sky revealed that it was getting a bit later, with the sun well on its way to the horizon and the big mountain ranges to the East. We still had time for a bunch of campside fun.I only wish we had brought some marshmallows that we could roast while talking around the fire. But that didn’t matter, we were going to have tons of fun!
Chapter Seventy-Four — Dibs on Petting
Chapter Seventy-Four — Dibs on Petting Setting up camp was something of an adventure.We had found a nice spot a little ways off the main road. Close enough to hear the few carts still moving about, but not so close that we could see anything. It was a nice enough spot, with a flat bit of ground on the downwind side of a little hill. We had plenty of trees all around us, and no animal trails that we could see.Awen had been left to guard the camp while Amaryllis and I scavenged branches and such for a fire. Really, it had been an excuse to let the poor girl sit down and relax. Her feet had started to blister from all the walking and I think she was minutes away from just collapsing. Her previous lifestyle hadn’t included half-day-long walks and trekking through forests.Amaryllis and I made a few trips until we had a nice pile of sticks to work with. Some Cleaning magic took off any moss and such from them and I set about preparing a campfire while Amaryllis pitched a tent.I stacked the wood as neatly as I could, two pieces on each end serving as walls to hold all the branches that I chopped into foot-long lengths in place. Then I stripped some bark and made a neat pile of it to one side.Digging a small pit was easy because I had a spade. I found it mildly ironic that I had done a lot of things with my spade, but it was only now that I was using it for actual digging.A few rocks picked from around the campsite served to line the sides of my little firepit, then I tossed in the bark and a few smaller branches.The entire time, Awen looked at me with fascination, as if I was doing something really cool instead of just starting a fire.I pinched my tongue between my lips and brought my hand up as I crouched before the fire. Mana poured into my hand with just a tiny bit more ease than it usually did. A byproduct of Physical Manakinesis, maybe? Then I started to form a fireball.It was slow going, carefully crafting first the ball itself, then the cone, then I aimed it at the firepit and let loose.A few branches and some bark flew out of the pit as my anemic fireball burped.There was a distinct lack of fire when the dirt cleared, and Awen had her arms thrown over her head for cover as little bits of wood rained down around us.I pouted. Had that been too weak? There was certainly some sort of kinetic component to the tiny fireball, and a bit of an explosion. Maybe I needed to think hotter thoughts?“What kind of moronic idiocy are you up to now?” Amaryllis asked as she stomped over to me and placed her talons on her hips so that she could glare down.“I’m starting a fire?” I tried.“The only spells you know are Fireball and a plethora of cleaning magic. Now, seeing as how I’m the one with the brains between the two of us, I can only guess that you’re trying to start a fire with a Fireball spell.”“Uh, yeah?”“A spell meant to kill things, with fire, as opposed to one meant to light things on fire?” Amaryllis added.“Uh, I mean, it should work, right?”She sighed and for a moment looked like someone trying to suppress a headache. Then she bent down, picked up a bunch of sticks and tossed them in the pit. Her hand glowed for a moment and then a small, controlled jet of electric-blue fire shot onto the wood. When she cut it off a moment later the sticks were most definitely on fire. “Don’t try that again. There are spells for starting fires. What you tried was like... cutting toast with a claymore.”“Ah,” I said. “Well it’s a good thing you’re here to help!” I said.Amaryllis huffed. “Moron. The tent’s set up. We’ll need to squeeze in two at a time. Are we doing three watch rotations or..?”I thought about it for just a moment before shaking my head. “No. Two. You and I are both a bit more used to this. Awen needs more time to recover.”“Awa, I, I can do my part. I wouldn’t want to rob you of sleep.”I shook my head, a grin plastering itself across my face. “Nuh-uh. Tomorrow will be your first full day of adventure. You don’t want to miss it because you’re a little tired. And besides, Amaryllis and I weren’t planning on having a third person, so later on, when you do take your turn with the watch, we’ll both get to sleep more than we thought.”“Awww, oh okay,” Awen said.Grinning, I tossed a few more sticks onto the fire while Amaryllis returned to working on the tent. “Do you know any magic?” I asked Awen.“Awa, a few little spells,” she said. “Some for lighting lamps, a few cooling spells. And I’m okay with the levitation spell. The wind aspect one.”“That sounds awesome!” I said. “I want to learn all sorts of neat magic. Mostly because magic is cool, and I want to be even cooler.”“Then I think you’ll be the best at magic in no time,” Awen said.“Thanks!” I said. “I have a few scrolls for spells that aren’t Fireball. Amaryllis, do you think you could teach me another spell?”“You’ve hardly mastered Fireball,” she said. “But I can’t see the harm in you practicing something a little different, as long as it’s a simple enough spell.”I pulled my pack closer and rooted within until I found the scrolls I had bought at Booksie’s store. “I have Holy Light, Light Ball and Draw Water,” I said.“Light Ball,” Amaryllis said almost right away. “It’ll be the easiest to teach you, it’s fairly close to Fireball, and it’s the sort of versatile spell that will teach you how to do other things in the future.”The harpy came over to sit next to the fire and, with a twist of her hand, had pen and paper next to her. She wrote something and poofed it away, then her rucksack appeared. I watched as she fished out a pot and a can with a metal screw tab on it. Soon, beans were being warmed on the fire and Amaryllis was sticking some sausages on sticks. Rocks placed just-so held them near the fire.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.I pulled my attention back to my scrolls, then selected the right one and began reading through it. The spell was close to Fireball at first glance. Though this one had less swirls to it, and a long thin line of mana needed to be fed into it at all times. One that supposedly let the caster control the spell with a thought.“Light aspect mana, huh,” I said.“Obviously,” Amaryllis replied.I set the scroll aside and fished out plates and some hardtack and cheese. Then I fetched out my tea kettle and filled it with water to boil.Sending mana into the kettle while also pooling some in my opposite hand took a lot more effort than I would have thought, like rubbing my tummy and my head in opposite directions, but that just meant it was a good bit of exercise to practice my magic. “Hey, Amaryllis, do you have a skill for magic stuff?”“I’m a mage, Broccoli. Of course I have magical skills.”“No, I mean, manipulating mana and such.”My birdy friend nodded. “Thunder Aspect Manipulation, at disciple. It’s a merged skill that comes from the Thunder and Mana Manipulation skills. It narrows down the range of spells I can easily cast, but the added efficiency of my main mana aspect can’t be overlooked.”“More boom for your buck?” I asked.“Something like that. Speaking of skills, last time you were mentioning your skills you spoke of three of them, but you’re level seven. You should have four class skills.”“Haha,” I said. “I, uh, have... the Cool skill.”Amaryllis stopped paying attention to the food and turned to give me the flattest look I had ever seen. “Broccoli. You are not only a poor liar. You’re an imbecilic one.”I flushed and looked away. “Sorry. Lying is wrong, I know.”“So, what’s your fourth skill?” she asked again.“I’d rather not say,” I said.“My class skills are Thunder Aspect Manipulation, Electrostatic Discharge, Thunder Clap, Mage Sight, and Electrostimulus. It’s taboo to tell someone you’re not close to what your skills are, but I trust you enough that I don’t mind telling you. And Awen here couldn’t do anything with the knowledge if she tried.”“Why are you telling me that?” I wondered.“It’s part of the social contract that when someone tells someone else something private that they need to return the favour by sharing something in kind. We call it reciprocation at the academy. It works better on humans than on harpy.”I choked, uncertain of what to say as my jaw worked. That was utterly unfair. She was trying to manipulate me, in broad firelight, to tell her something I didn’t want to divulge. And then she explained how she was manipulating me! The height of meanness. That was telling the puppy you were going to kick it before doing so.Maybe it wasn’t that bad, but still.“Th-then I won’t tell you,” I huffed.I had better things to do, like prepare the tea. And practice my magic and....“It’s Cute, my last skill is Cute,” I sobbed.Amaryllis gasped and turned towards me with wide eyes. “Cute? Cute? The forbidden skill? Don’t you know what happens to people with that skill?”I stared back, eyes widening to match and heart thumping in my chest like a crazed bunny. “N-no, what happens?” I asked.She leaned a little closer. “The people who have the Cute skill,” she said in a low whisper. I came closer to hear better. “Get mercilessly teased by their friends... forever!”It took a moment for that to register, and by the time it did, Amaryllis was trilling with strange birdy laughter. “Rude!” I shouted back.“Really Broccoli? You got the Cute skill? That’s... well it’s certainly you,” Amaryllis said. “I’d advise against putting too many points into it. Maybe you can merge it with something later.”I flushed. “It’s not like I asked for it. I wanted the Cool skill.”“I, I think you're cool,” Awen said. “Even if you’re also c-cute... awa.”“Thanks Awen,” I said. “You’re a good friend. Did you hear that, Amaryllis? Awen can make uplifting comments without teasing her friends about their misfortunes in life. Be more like Awen.”Amaryllis chuckled and leaned to the side to bump her shoulder against mine. “Food’s ready,” she said.We separated everything onto three plates, then I poured some tea into some mugs that Amaryllis had and we got down to eating. It wasn’t inn food, but it was filling and hot and it tasted a little smokey from the fire.“So, tomorrow we’re on the road again,” I said after swallowing some beans and wiping my mouth clean with the back of my hand.The girls both nodded.“Are there any monsters or anything we need to be careful about? Bandits?”Amaryllis hummed, but she looked to Awen since she was our sort of expert here.“Awa, I don’t think so? There are wolves, but they’re rare. And in the desert there are lots of monsters in the sand, but not in the plains. And we have lots of guards passing by, so there shouldn’t be bandits. The only ones we might run into are the drolls, and they’re easy to handle. Or, awa, so I’ve been told, I guess.”“Drolls?” I asked.“Large dog people,” Amaryllis said. “They roam in packs. Not too violent, unless you provoke them. They’re clever enough to barter with, though they don’t have much worth trading for. Some have tried to put them to work, but it’s not usually worth it.”“Awesome,” I said. “So, um, dibs on first watch, and if we meet some drolls, I get to pet them first.”
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Chapter Seventy-Five — Flower Picking
Chapter Seventy-Five — Flower Picking I woke up to something pushing my chest in a very rude place.I would have dismissed it, but whatever it was was warm and moved a little, and it was very distracting. So I slid one eye open and took in the interior of the tent. The walls were painted in splotches of bright blue where the morning sunlight beat against the canvas, and as I came awake, I noticed the happy birdsong of a forest coming to life.Then my eyes focused and I noticed the prompt hovering before me.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Friendmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) General PointHad that levelled while I slept?How?The warm weight on my chest shifted again and I looked down. Awen was hugging me. One arm over my chest, with a hand pressed up on my tummy where my shirt had ridden up and her head was using me as a pillow.It was kind of cute. That was, until her mouth worked and I saw a line of drool leak out to stain my shirt.I giggled, then giggled harder when the noise made Awen smile in her sleep. The poor thing must have been having a nice dream. Determined not to wake her up, I shuffled to the side, carefully extricating myself from her grip with what little agility I had so early in the morning.When I finally stumbled out of the tent it was to find Amaryllis sitting by the burnt out campfire, a pen in one talon and a metallic tablet on one leg and Orange lounging on the other.“Morning,” I said.“You managed to pry her off you,” Amaryllis asked as she finished writing a line down on the paper before her. She signed her name at the bottom with a flourish, then blew across the page.“Hmm,” I said. “Yeah. I guess she’s not used to sleeping with people and glomped onto the warmth.”“Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what’s happening,” Amaryllis said. She folded the page carefully, then scribbled something on the back.“What’re you writing?” I wondered as I turned around and snuck back into the tent. My armour was laying off to one side where I had chucked it off before bed. Once I retrieved it I could start dressing again.“A letter to my family. I keep them informed.”“Of our adventures?”“Amongst other things.” She disappeared the letter and her writing into her ring and then stood up with a groan. Had she been sitting there all throughout her watch? “Hardtack on the road?” Amaryllis asked.“Sure.” It wasn’t exactly a five-star breakfast, and maybe Awen would be a teensy bit disappointed, but it would allow us to make a bit more headway on our trip.According to Awen a caravan from Rosenbell to Greenshade took four to five days. On foot, it would take us a bit longer, though it was possible we could take shortcuts where there were no roads.Once I was all armoured up, we set about cleaning the camp, picking up our things, and generally getting ready for the day until the last thing left to stuff away was the tent and the equipment within.I crawled under the flap and found Awen curled up in a little ball under a pile of blankets. I almost felt bad for waking her up, but she had gotten her eight hours and then some. “Awen?” I whispered as I shook her shoulder.She made a little whining noise and shifted to be deeper under the blankets.I laughed. “Awen, wakey wakey, no eggs and hardtack.”I wasn’t good at rhyming.Awen opened her eyes and looked around before locking onto me. “Miss Broccoli?”“The one and only,” I said. “We’re going to be leaving soon and it wouldn’t do to leave you behind, would it?”“Awa,” she said as she sat up and rubbed at her eyes. “Okay. Let me get dressed and I’ll be with you.”I grinned and stepped out.A few minutes later, Awen was ready to go, the tent was packed away and poofed by Amaryllis and we were off. Pushing through the bush was annoying for a little bit, but as soon as we hit the road it became a whole lot easier to travel.We set an easy pace at first, just a fast walk that took advantage of the slight incline in the terrain to keep us from getting tired. Awen’s sore feet didn’t make a return that I could tell.Once we were through the forest the world opened up into another huge plain that stretched out far to the west. The grassy land slowly turned yellow near the horizon. “Is that the desert?” I asked.“The sand,” Awen said. “It gets kicked up by the wind and covers parts of the plain. The actual desert is farther away, I think.”“Neat.”Bored with just walking normally, I started to push mana into my hands, varying the ebb and flow of it, while also making it spin this way and that. It took a bit of focus, but after nearly an hour I had figured it out a little.My dad had taught me that when you were learning something new, at first you would improve a whole lot in a short while. Then you’d start to learn slower and slower as you perfected what you learned.I imagined that magic was similar, especially when skills came into play. Initially there would be great leaps in ability and such, but eventually you’d hit a point where learning more took more and more time and effort.It was something to think on, but not really a problem. I was so close to the very bottom of that learning curve that every hour spent practicing probably increased my ability exponentially.“Hey, Amaryllis, how do I make Light aspect mana, and what’s it good for?”Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.Amaryllis eyed me for a bit. She had seemed happy to see me practicing earlier so I didn’t think the question would bother her. Also, there was nothing else to do. “Light aspect is one of the stranger ones,” she said. “It’s conceptually simple. Make your mana brighter. At some point you’ll have light or near-light mana.”She raised a hand and a ball of mana formed in her palm. It crackled and snapped and hummed, but that subsided as the ball began to glow brighter and brighter until it was almost hard to look at.Amaryllis dismissed it with a wave of her talons. “As for its uses. The obvious ones are all utilitarian. Most harpys have worse night vision than humans, or so I’ve been told. There are some creatures that will be hurt by light mana, but they’re uncommon. At higher ranks light magic can be devastatingly dangerous though. But for all of the speed and accuracy and power of high level light magic, you’re usually better off just calling down lightning on whatever you want to kill that badly.”“I sense a bias,” I said.“I notice a lack of practicing,” she snapped right back.Snorting, I got back to it. Light was... bright? I fiddled with my mana, pouring more into my hands, shifting it this way and that. The light it emitted was bright, but not as Amaryllis’ had been.Was I meant to think bright thoughts? Maybe I had to think like a photon or something.I really wish I had access to Google. My last physics class was a few weeks in the past, which was plenty of time to forget a lot of the stuff I had known about electromagnetic spectrums and such.I could have asked Amaryllis for more help, but I had time to figure this out on my own, and maybe magic was like drawing, where if you spent enough time figuring it out without too much help, you’d learn to develop your own style.If I couldn’t get my mana to be light mana, then maybe I could at least try something else.I started to move my hand in the air while pouring out thin streamers of mana, kind of like how Raynald had done, but with none of the grace he had. It kind of worked, and felt more natural besides.Pushing the mana out into a more complicated shape while gesturing also felt better and easier. I cupped my hands together by my side, gathered mana within in a swirling ball, then shoved my hands out before me.A teeny tiny fireball leapt ahead of me and dispersed in the air some dozen meters away.That had been a lot easier than making it from scratch.Physical ManakinesisF — 35%I hummed, then waved my hand in the air in a cutting gesture while firing a burst of cleaning magic. It swept out and pushed against the top of the nearby grass.I tried the same with fire aspect mana. It wasn’t quite right, and all I did was waste a lot of mana and warm the air up, but it felt right. Not a spell, not really, but pure elemental mana pushed into the world to do something.Physical ManakinesisF — 38%And it seemed as if I was on the right track, more or less. “Neat,” I said.“Figure something out?” Amaryllis asked.“I think so. But magic is complicated.”Amaryllis snorted. “Idiot. If it was easy everyone would be using it. I’m impressed you’re even trying, you strike me more as a ‘hit things hard’ kind of person than a ‘light them on fire’ sort.”“Awa, I don’t think Broccoli is like that.”“I don’t want to light people on fire,” I said. Just the world around me. “I should learn more defensive magic, just in case though.”“There are spells that create bursts of blinding light with light aspect mana. Or you could learn some earth aspect spells for defensive uses, but you’re on the far end of that spectrum with your cleaning focus. I’m afraid that most of the aspects that will be easy for you to use are more intangible.” Amaryllis hummed. “Maybe water? There are some shield spells that use natural water. And air aspect has a few interesting spells that can deflect arrows or weaker blows. It’s not adjacent to cleaning but near enough.”“That sounds brilliant,” I said.I bet that air and fire combined really well too. It would be hard to justify using thermobaric spells in the cause of making friends, but I’m sure the use would come up eventually.“Awa, miss Broccoli, look,” Awen said, neatly cutting off all my glorious daydreams of mushroom clouds.I followed her pointing finger to a distant patch of the prairies to the west that were covered in colourful flowers. It was a little spot between two hills, protected from the wind coming from the west and probably a nice place for water to gather.“We should check it out!” I said.Amaryllis sighed. “It’s not too far out of the way,” she admitted.“Good eye, Awen,” I said.“It, it was nothing?” the girl said.I eyed the ditch on the side of the road, then decided that I ought to help Awen across. So with a grin I scooped her up in a princess carry and hopped over to the other side before she had even finished squeaking.“Moron,” Amaryllis said as she took a running leap and flapped her arms twice before landing by our side.“I would have gotten you next,” I said as I lowered a red-faced Awen. Poor girl, she must have been embarrassed that she needed help. I would need to tell her that I was always there to help if she needed it, and that she didn’t need to fuss over it.“The day you carry me like that is the day I clip my own wings,” Amaryllis said. “Now, let’s go pick some flowers.”
* * *
Chapter Seventy-Six — How Droll
Chapter Seventy-Six — How Droll I stopped at the first flower that caught my eye. Or, well, the first flower that caught my eye and that was well within reach.The valley was filled with them, as if someone had planted a wonderful garden in this corner of the world where only the observant and lucky would find it.A healthy Zoro Aster.“Hrm,” I said as I gave the purple, star-shaped flower a sniff. It smelled nice, and looked nice, but that’s all I could really say about it. “I’m going to look at a few of these flowers. Amaryllis could you mark the area on a map? I think that was part of the mission too.”“Sure,” Amaryllis said. She took a deep breath and let it out as a contented sigh. Even my prickly bird friend couldn’t resist the allure of so much prettiness in one place.Orange took three steps forward upon landing on the ground from her perch on Amaryllis shoulder, then she flopped onto her side.I dropped my backpack down, fetched my herbology book and fell onto my knees next to the patch of flowers.Zoro AsterAn uncommon flower found in large patches, usually near other flowers and in areas with potent life mana. The Zoro Aster has few uses, though its flowers can be used to make a potion that cures one of the afflictions caused by negative or so-called evil mana. The flower is otherwise harmless and is prized in some areas as a sign of peace and fertility.“Cool,” I said as I set the book aside. Reaching out, I rubbed one of the flowers, then gave the plant a hearty pat. “I’m just taking the one flower, okay?”When I had a sample placed away I moved on to the next flower.“Awen, Amaryllis, you two can explore or whatever,” I said. “I don’t think this place will have any mean plants.”“Awa, o-okay,” Awen said. She stepped up, looked at the sea of plants around her, then with her fists clenched and her bravery shored up, she pushed forward and started looking around.She squeaked when a bee buzzed by her head, but other than that, she seemed to have the hang of if. More or less.“I’m going to go keep an eye on her,” Amaryllis said as she got up and poofed the notepad she had been scribbling in.“That might be for the best,” I agreed. Awen was adorable and she had the makings of a truly great friend, but she was a bit... unprepared for the great outdoors. We didn’t need her having a panic attack because she saw a wasp. Even if wasps were evil.I moved over to a patch of yellow flowers growing on tall stalks. They had strange pointed petals, like a daffodil, but a little longer and spikier.“Hello pretty,” I said. “Insight?”A daft o’ dill in full bloom.I snorted at the name and looked through my book until I found a page with a drawing of the plant in question. There was more than one name for it in the tome.Daft O’Dill / Yellow MoronA common flower of the Amaryllis family of plants. These perennials grow in early Spring and late Autumn and produce beautiful and fragrant plants. Prized by many for their resilience and ease of care, they are nonetheless a minor threat and nuisance to the unwary. The flower produces a sweet, tasty nectar around a seed that will attract small animals. The flower spreads by germinating wherever the eater excretes the seed post-consumption.The nectar of this plant is a non-lethal poison that will cause a sharp decrease in the consumer’s mental faculties for a short period of time. Feelings of confusion can last for up to a day, depending on the amount of nectar consumed.A common ingredient in many tinctures and poisons meant to incapacitate.I slapped a hand over my mouth to hold back a giggle. I had to show Amaryllis the entry about this flower.Careful not to get any on my hands, I put some nectar on a piece of paper, then folded it up into a small envelope as a sample for later.I was moving over to the next flower when I heard a call. “Broccoli!” It was Amaryllis’ voice, and she sounded as if she might be afraid.Picking up my shovel and tossing my backpack back on, I ran through the flowery field in search of my friends.They weren’t difficult to find. The two of them were taller than most of the bushes around and Awen was waving at me to come closer.I hopped over some flowers, because trampling them would be too rude, and landed near the girls with my shovel ready and my senses primed for trouble. “What’s going on?” I asked.Then I saw it.There was a small pond here, probably because this was the lowest point between the two hills flanking both sides of the valley and this was where any rainwater would naturally gather. Next to that pond, resting on a little pool of blood, was a body.No, not a body, I realized as I saw the faint motion of a chest moving up and down with in-drawn breaths.Amaryllis turned the person over and I gasped.They were small. Only about as tall as my waist, with a fur-covered body, except for its big, very human ears and a round patch over its exposed tummy. For all that it was small, the creature was obviously muscular, with bulging forearms and skin that was taut over its exposed calves. They were wearing some clothes, but it was very basic. Pants made from some sort of leather and a jacket with a bunch of crude pouches on it.They looked vaguely dog-like, with an elongated snout and a very boopable nose, but when they opened their mouth to wince in pain it showed off twin rows of crookedy sharp teeth that looked like they belonged more on a piranha than a dog.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.“Uh,” I said.“Awa, it’s a d-droll,” Awen said. She shifted next to me, hands working open and closed with nervous energy.“Oh,” I said. “Um. Do healing potions work on them?” I asked as I shucked off my backpack and reached into my bandoleer.Amaryllis leaned over the droll and ran her talons over his side until she found a large gash cut into its side. It was a nasty looking cut and was still bleeding quite profusely. “We can try,” she said.I handed her the potion, my last one. She yanked the cork out with her teeth and spat it aside before tipping it into the dog-person’s mouth. When it was empty she tossed the vial up to me and I replaced it in my bandoleer.“Is it working?” I asked.“I don’t know,” Amaryllis said.The droll coughed, its stubby little arms-which I noticed ended in paw-like hands, curling over its stomach. It pressed against its side, dabbing at the blood there, but also revealing the healing wound.“Don’t move,” I said as I kneeled next to the little droll and held it down gently. “I’m going to use some cleaning magic on you, okay?”The droll nodded their head and locked brown doggy eyes with me.I pressed a hand against their fur and pushed some cleaning magic into them, focusing mostly on cleaning out their wound. It reopened some of it where there had been some scabs forming, but it was better than allowing an infection to settle in.“Awen, can you pass me a bottle of water please?”"Awa, yes!”I took the bottle from Awen and fell onto my knees next to the droll. Carefully, I helped them sit up and brought the bottle close to their lips. “There, drink. It’s just water, but it’ll help you keep your strength up.”The droll swallowed a few times, then stopped to pant in a very dog-like way. “Thank you, human,” he said. At least, his voice was deep and definitely masculine.I smiled. “No problem. How’s your HP?”He seemed to think about that for a moment, then his eyes glazed. “Seven paws,” he said.“Huh?” I said. It took a moment for that to register. He had five toes per paw, so that was... thirty-five? Or did drolls not count the strange big-toe? That would put him at twenty-eight health points. Neither option was very good. “Amaryllis do you have another potion?”Amaryllis nodded and poofed a pen and paper into existence from her ring and got to writing.“We’ll make sure you are nice and healthy,” I said. “Don’t you worry.”“Thank you, human,” he said.“I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch,” I said with a beaming smile.The droll smiled back and I had to hold back a wince at how strange it looked. “Thank you, Broccoli. I am Barks at Squirrels.”I clamped my jaw shut to stop a very inappropriate giggle from escaping. “Ah, well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Barks... at Squirrels. Did you run into a monster?”The droll shook his head. “No.... yes. A monster, but not one that should be here. The scent, it’s become all wrong.”“What do you mean?” I asked.Barks at Squirrels’ answer was delayed as Amaryllis passed me a potion bottle that I handed to the droll. “Thank you,” he said before he drank the potion in one gulp. “The glass golems of the shard dungeon, they used to be dangerous, but they would stand their ground. They marked their territory and would stay in it. Now they are broken, and they roam around and attack. It is dangerous.”I looked up to Amaryllis. “Maybe we should keep an eye out for those,” I said.“For what?” she asked. “You’ve been growling and barking like a mad woman for the last few minutes. If you expect me to understand you then I’m afraid that your sense of observation is lacking. I’m a harpy, not a mutt.”“Oh,” I said. My translation thing must have kicked in.“Awa, it’s very impressive that Miss Broccoli can speak Drollish.”“Thanks,” I said. It was hardly that impressive. I never worked for that ability, so I couldn’t exactly be proud of it. “Barks at Squirrels here said that he was attacked by some sort of glass golem? They apparently used to be territorial, but now they’re roaming around?”“Ahh,” Awen said. “There’s a dungeon that has lots of glass things in it near the desert. It should be close by.”“Well, we’ve healed... Barks at Squirrels, here,” Amaryllis said. “We should be on our way.”I gave Amaryllis a look before turning back to the Droll. “Do you need help getting back to your home?” I asked.The dog’s eyes widened a little. “Would you do this for me?”“Of course we would. What if you got attacked again? We wouldn’t want to lose a friend.” I patted the droll on the head, then realized what I was doing and pulled my hand back as if I’d patted a stove instead of a fluffy head.Barks at Squirrels didn’t seem to mind. He groaned as he turned around and stayed on all fours for a long moment before pushing himself up to his feet. He was a little unsteady, and it was clear that his side still hurt, but he didn’t look that badly off. “I can make it. The pack is a quarter day’s walk desertwards.”I nodded. “Let me tell my friends,” I said before turning to the others. “He says that their pack is a bit of a walk towards the desert. That’s more or less the direction we’re going in, right?”“You’re going to make us help this mutt, aren’t you?” Amaryllis asked. She didn’t even wait for me to answer. “Of course you will. You moron. Awen, are the droll dangerous?”“N-no? They’re mostly nice. They might fight back, um, if you try to hurt them, but they’re mostly nice.”I smiled at Amaryllis until she crumbled. “Fine.”“Did you hear that, Barks? We’re going to bring you home!”
Chapter Seventy-Seven — The Best Pack
Chapter Seventy-Seven — The Best Pack Barks at Squirrel’s health improved considerably as we trekked along. At first he walked slowly, testing his steps and pausing at times to catch his breath even though he was hardly moving at a pace that anyone would call fast.As the sun rose and we approached midday though, his pace became more sure and soon he was able to keep up without so much as a hitch in his step.I still stayed close to him just in case, but he didn’t seem to need the help.And that was when Amaryllis decided to start questioning him. I was just thankful that she had waited until he was in a shape to actually reply. I think Orange’s presence helped a bit with that-the kitty seemed to dislike Barks at Squirrels on principle. “Broccoli, ask Barks at Squirrels what caused that injury, exactly?”I repeated the question to the droll and watched as his tongue waggled out of his mouth as he took on what I suspected was his thinking face. “It was a glass golem, but an evil one.”“A glass golem?” I asked.“Yes. They are big, and made of glass. They look like people and they smell like fire and light.”That wasn’t the most helpful description I had ever heard. Still, I repeated it back to the girls so that we’d all be on the same page.“Where are these golems coming from, exactly?” Amaryllis asked.“The dungeon,” Barks said. “They have always come from the dungeon. But they are usually just defenders, they protect their territory and nothing else. Now they roam out of their territory and do not mark new ones. They are dangerous now.”“Do lots of dungeon, um, monsters move out of their dungeons?” I asked after translating.Amaryllis made a wishy-washy gesture. “It depends. Most dungeons have some sort of guardian by the entrance, some of these will guard from outside the dungeon if the terrain agrees with them.”“Oh,” I said. “I hope your village isn’t too close to the dungeon, Barks. Especially if the glass golems are becoming mean.”Barks shook his furry head. “No. We don’t have a village.”“Your... town?” I tried. I turned to Amaryllis and Awen. “Where do the drolls live?”Awen came to my rescue with a handy infodump. “The droll live in large communities that they call packs. They range all along the edge of the Ostri desert and into the prairies to the north of Mattergrove. Some even go as far as the Manywoods to the North,” she said. The tone hinted that it was a recital more than something in her own words. I supposed that it made sense that she would know that sort of thing.“So, you live in a big pack?” I asked. Did they all pile up together at night for warmth? Would they let me play with their tiny little puppies? So many questions!“Yes,” Barks at Squirrels said. “My pack is the best pack. We have many sheep, and plenty of caravans for moving in.”“Neat?” I tried.We continued on our trek westward, and even though we had only been moving for a few hours, I could feel the air growing noticeably warmer. The grass became a bit more scraggly, and there were occasionally patches of sandy dirt on the upwind side of small hills.“What were you doing so far from your pack?” I asked Barks at Squirrels.“There was a squirrel,” he said matter-of-factly.“Ah.” I turned to the girls. “Are there giant squirrels around here? Or... magical ones that you’d want to hunt?”“I don’t think so,” Amaryllis said.“Awa, why are you asking?” Awen asked. “Because, um, I never heard of anything like that.”I eyed Barks at Squirrels and made a note not to point out any passing bunnies or small critters, just in case we lost our guide.It took another hour of walking before we reached a place that was more desert than plain. There were still the occasional bushes, and patches of grass growing in spots shielded by hills, but most everything was covered by soft grains of white-yellow sand. Even the air had changed, taking on an almost salty tang that left my mouth dry.The sun finally reached its zenith and I was glad that my hat provided plenty of shade, else I wouldn’t have been able to see anything. Amaryllis paused at some point and poofed two light, silky scarves out of her ring, one of which she gave to Awen and the other she tied around her head and hair.“Albatrosses aren’t averse to warmer weather, but, well, you have seen my skin, haven’t you?” She gestured with a talon to her very pale skin.“You sunburn easy?” I asked.“You wouldn’t believe it,” she said.“Awa, my family just tan. N-not that I ever really tried that. Um, it’s fashionable for a lady to have paler skin, like Miss Amaryllis,” Awen said as she tied the scarf around her head.Our conversation petered out as we focused on walking. Fortunately the ground was hard-packed, which made it easy enough to walk, but it was hard on the feet.Then, as we crested a bit of a hill, Barks at Squirrel’s tail started wagging and he pointed ahead. “It’s the pack,” he said.The pack, as it turned out, was a loose collection of about twenty or so carriages. All of them rather cobbled-together looking, with wheels that didn’t all look to be the same size and sides made of sticks and branches and planks. There was an air of... makeshiftness about the whole thing.There were maybe four or five dozen people moving about, a few of which turned our way and raised their snouts to the air to sniff.“Come!” Barks at Squirrels said as he padded down the hill and kicked up a line of dust behind him.“Well, let’s go meet the nice doggies,” I said to the girls.“Truly a fantastic idea,” Amaryllis said.“Hey, it’s part of the adventure to take little detours,” I said before I hopped off the side of the cliff and locked my legs so that I slid all the way to the base.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.Amaryllis leapt off and flapped her wings twice. She didn’t quite fly, but her fall was slowed. Then it was Awen’s turn. She did okay for the first few running steps, but then her one foot tripped up the other and the poor girl rolled down the hill in a tangle of legs and arms.“Are you okay?” I asked as I rushed over to her.“Awoww,” Awen complained. She sat up, then inspected herself. “I’m not injured, I don’t think.”I grinned and helped her to her feet, then brushed some cleaning magic over her outfit to dust it off. “You’ll get the hang of it, no worries.”“Awa... thank you!”Once we were all gathered up, we made our way over to the droll pack, only to find that three of them had walked over to join Barks at Squirrels and were listening as the young droll explained his misadventure.“Hello,” I said as we came within speaking distance and their conversation stopped. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I said.The one I pegged as the leader of the group was a tall (for a droll), muscular droll with near-white fur. He had a shirt under a leather vest, and a pair of shorts that stopped just sort of mid-calf. He locked onto me with a pair of bright blue eyes, then grinned. “Hello human. I, Moon Moon, leader of the Best Pack, thank you for helping Barks at Squirrels.”My teeth clicked together as I shut my mouth mid-greeting. The moment his name had registered I had the most inappropriate urge to giggle.“Hi Moon Moon,” I said. “My name is Broccoli Bunch. These are my friends, Amaryllis Albatross and Awen Bristlecone.”“Your name is Broccoli?” Moon Moon asked. “That’s a funny name. You don’t smell like Broccoli. You smell like a human.” He laughed, a sound that was more like a dog panting for breath than a normal laugh, but it was impossible to mistake as anything else.“Do you smell like the moon then?” I asked.He nodded. “I smell like Moon Moon.”I laughed before remembering that my friends were left out of the loop. “Ah, right, guys, this is Moon Moon.”“Seriously?” Amaryllis asked.“Hello, Moon Moon,” Awen said.“This one smells like chicken, and that one smells like she wishes to mate,” Moon Moon said. “But it is good to meet people who are nice. When we stop, we will make you a grand feast.”The other drolls all started wagging their tails at the mention of a feast.“That sounds nice,” I said. I didn’t know what he meant about the mating thing. A cultural difference maybe? It didn’t matter. “We can’t stay for too long, I don’t think.”Moon Moon’s tail drooped. “That’s sad. Where are you going?”I considered what to say, but decided to stick with the truth, because that was usually the best option. “We’re heading to a town called Rosenbell, to the North of here. We just came to drop off Barks at Squirrels and to make sure he made it here safe.”“If you go North, you will be going through the glass valley. That is where Barks at Squirrels was hurt.”“Oh?” I asked.Moon Moon nodded quite seriously. “Yes. It was a good place once. Good hunting, and the monsters in the first part of the dungeon gave us good things.” He patted a paw to his waist where I noticed for the first time that a dagger hung in a sheath. He pulled out the top, revealing a blade made of some sort of crystal. “But that was before. Now the monsters are all corrupted.”Quest Updated!Pruning the EvilYou have heard of the location of a corrupted dungeon. Explore it, find any signs of great Evil. Eradicate them!I jumped nearly a foot in the air as Miss Menu popped up before me. I hadn’t seen her in nearly a week, and as I read the prompt before me, I kind of wished that she hadn’t shown up again.“Ah, well,” I said. “M-maybe we’ll be going that way, but we’ll be careful,” I said. “I’m sorry Moon Moon, but I need to talk to my friends for just a moment, something important has come up.”Moon Moon tilted his head to the side and it was all I could do not to pat him. “You don’t need to ask me. You are friends of the Best Pack, but you are not of it.”“Right!”I pulled back and grabbed both of my friends so that we could talk just a little ways away. I noticed a bunch of drolls looking our way, from other young males to some that looked more lithe, to older ones that had bents backs. And, of course, there were little droll puppies who were ambulatory balls of fluff.“We, uh, have a situation,” I said.“Could you make that sound a little more ominous?” Amaryllis asked. “I could add a thunder clap in the background, perhaps?”I shook my head. “I got a quest from talking to Moon Moon.”“Awa! A quest?” Awen said. “Truly?”“Yeah, it’s... more of an update to one I thought was complete?”Amaryllis sighed. “What do we have to do?”“Have to do? We can always ignore it,” I said. “It just wants us to look into that dungeon, the glass one, and see if it’s corrupted.”Amaryllis stared at me. “Broccoli, you never ignore a quest. They’re the literal manifestations of the world’s will. That’s... not something you can set aside.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, okay, I guess? It’s not like I got anything from the last one I did except for a bunch of trouble.”“You’ve done quests before?” Awen asked. Her eyes practically sparkled. “Incredible.”I heard a rough cough from behind me and turned to find Moon Moon standing nearby. “If the world tells you to go to the Glass Valley, then Moon Moon will lead you there,” he said.“Oh, brilliant,” Amaryllis said. “He speaks Basic.”“Moon Moon is the cleverest member of the Best Pack,” he said. “He’s even cleverer than the drolls in the Greatest Pack and those in the Most Goodest Pack.”“Ah,” I said. “Well, um. Okay then?”
* * *
Chapter Seventy-Eight — Glasslighting
Chapter Seventy-Eight — Glasslighting As it turns out, it only took about an hour of walking across increasingly dry land for us to find the first glass golem.The monster-because if it went around hurting innocents and was a dungeon-born creation, that’s what it had to be-was on the taller side. Seven, nearly eight feet of towering glass with four large legs at the base and a mismatched pair of arms all made of glass that shone every colour of the rainbow.The golem looked a bit like a pile of sharpened crystals, though some of these were warped and twisted, especially where the rainbow hues stuck out more.When it moved, it cast flashes of colour across the sandy-white ground around, like sunlight through stained-glass. I even had to squint as the sun glinted off its multi-faceted surface.We all ducked down behind a hill as the glass golem turned our way.“So, ah, that’s a thing,” I said.“Awa, it’s very large,” Awen said.Amaryllis snorted. “There are four of us, and one of it. I think the odds are rather in our favour, even with the slight level disparity.”I cursed myself for forgetting to check on its level and poked my head out just long enough to mutter “Insight,” while pouring a bit of mana into the skill.A corrupt Glass Golem from the Path of Broken Reflections, level ?.My head dropped again. “Can’t see its level,” I said.“Ten,” Amaryllis answered. “Not too high that we can’t take it. Expect about five or so unique abilities. Moon Moon, can you tell us anything about it?”Moon Moon nodded, his tongue flapping about as he did so. “Yeah, chicken lady. They’re big and slow, but can be hard to break. And when they do it’s with lots of cracks. They can fire rainbows that burn a little, and they can make spikes come out of the ground that hurt when you step on them. Oh, and they make fake versions of themselves that are real tricksy, but you can tell which are fake because they have no smells.”“So,” Amaryllis said. “Some sort of beam attack, some sort of toughness ability. Earth or maybe glass manipulation and an illusion based power. One more that we don’t know of, but it might be utilitarian.”“That sounds like a tough fight,” I said.Amaryllis made a so-so gesture. “More or less. That thing looks slow. And Light magic is fairly weak. I think we ought to give it a try.”I looked up again and checked out the terrain. The glass golem was stomping along at the bottom of our hill, slowly making its way past. The ground was mostly hard-packed dirt and sand, with a few shrubs and some bushes here and there. No trees to use as cover, but plenty of large rocks and some boulders that would do just fine.We could take it, probably. Amaryllis was level nine, Awen eight. Moon Moon was... “Can I use insight on you?” I asked our droll friend.Moon Moon nodded.An excited droll Tail and Moon Chaser, level ??.I didn’t know whether that was good or not. He was stronger than the golem, at least in terms of sheer level.“Okay. We can try. I’ll try talking to it first,” I said.“You moron,” Amaryllis said. “It’s a golem. It has the emotional range of a rock. The only similarity it has to a living thing is its link to your rock-brained ancestors.”I huffed. “Fine. I’m still going to try and say hi. Maybe it’s an intelligent golem, like some sort of nice AI? You guys be ready to attack it. Moon Moon are you a close range fighter or ranged?”The droll looked at me. “I bite.”“Right,” I said. “Amaryllis, as soon as it tries to attack, let loose with something strong. Moon Moon and I will hit it right after and try to stagger it back. Awen, can you move towards where it falls? You have a hammer, that ought to be good for smacking it down.”“Awa, you, you want me to help?” Awen asked.“If you want to stay here and watch, that’s okay too,” I said.She took a few shallow breaths, then shook her head. “N-no, I, I’ll help!”“Awesome! Let’s do this.”I waited a little bit as Amaryllis moved further away, then Moon Moon scuttled over the hill on all fours, and with surprising speed and dexterity, moved to hide behind a large boulder some ways down the hill.I placed a hand on Awen’s shoulder. “When I start talking, circle around the hill towards its back,” I said.“R-right,” Awen said. Her grip on her hammer was white-knuckled but firm.Grinning, I gave her one last squeeze before hopping over the top of the hill. This was going to be kind of strange, I knew. I wasn’t the fighting sort either, but even so my heart was pitter-pattering with excitement at the thought of getting into a tussle with a big old monster. The fact that it was about as sentient as a slime removed a lot of the guilt I might have felt otherwise.I stepped over towards the golem, fully out in the open and with a wide, inviting smile on. If it could communicate, then I’d do my best to be nice and friendly to it. If it was as Amaryllis had told me, little more than a monster made of glass and anger, then we’d deal with that as best we could.“Hello Mister Golem, my name is Broccoli,” I said. “My friends and I were passing by when we saw you, I just had a few teensy questions to ask, if you don’t mind?”The lumbering crystalline thing paused. Its insides started to glow with a pretty pink light. I thought it was going to say something. Maybe it spoke with lights?Then a laser hit me in the forehead.I yelped and jumped to the side to get out of the path of the reddish beam.I reached up to the spot where I’d been hit and winced as I touched soft, wet skin. Not bloody, but burnt.Health 119/120That had stung.I was about to tell the glass golem off when lightning stuck.A thick beam of blue-white light flashed into existence between the top of the hill and the golem’s side with a whip-crack bang. I had to blink a few times to clear the spots in my vision, and my ears rang for a few seconds before the non-noise slowly faded.Health 117/120I was going to have words with Amaryllis later.The golem stumbled to the side while huge arcs of electricity flowed out from where it had been hit and grounded themselves into the dirt below.When the golem righted itself I could see a fist-sized blemish on its side with a few spiralling tunnels that dug deep into its glassy body. The same sort of pattern I’d expect to see with an ant’s nest, but made of electrified glass.Impressive, but none of it went deeper than a handspan.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“Broccoli, hit it with a spell!” Amaryllis screamed.I charged and fired a basic cleaning spell as quickly as I could. This was one monster that I didn’t expect my magic to do much against. But, if Amaryllis asked...The ball cut through the distance between myself and the golem, smashing into its front before bouncing off as if it was a tennis ball.“It’s got some sort of magic reflection!” Amaryllis screamed. “I can still damage it, but it’s going to drain me.”“Got it,” I said. “Hit it if you think it’ll help!” I called back.My shovel came off my back with a bit of effort, the cord I’d tied to it a bit too tight for easy removal, but I had my weapon in hand long before the golem regained its balance.“Moon Moon, let’s bring it down!” I shouted. “Awen, get ready for my call!”I saw the droll roll out from behind his cover and run, his body low to the ground and his forearms working to keep him steady as he charged over with tongue flapping and eyes filled with eagerness. Nodding to myself, I jumped to the air, easily moving above the golem and landing next to the spike atop its head.My feet slipped a little, my rubber soles didn’t have quite enough grip to hang onto the creature’s flattened top as it moved, but with a bit of windmilling and some shaky motions, I managed to stay atop the golem.“Sorry,” I said as I raised my spade high above and then brought it slamming down onto the golem’s head.It bonked off without leaving so much as a scratch.Growling, I raised the spade again, jumped into the air with a little hop, and brought my shovel crashing down atop the golem with all the weight I could muster behind the blow.A crack sounded out and a splinter the width of my fist and as long as my forearm tore off the monster’s head and fell off the side.My victory was short-lived as the golem started to glow pink within.“Oh no,” I said.With a ‘hup,’ I flew off the golem, aiming to land a dozen paces away.The creature swivelled around, its large body following my trajectory. A moment before I landed it raised a leg then smashed it down.A pulse of magic raced across the ground beneath me.My eyes widened as I saw a hundred little points appearing on the ground. They shot out, growing into foot-tall glass shards.Thinking fast, I brought my spade around and placed a foot on its flat metal surface just as I hit one of the spikes.With a grunt and a burst of stamina, I jumped off my spade and flew off to a spot where the ground was still safe and non-spikey.Somehow, I managed to catch the cord I used to keep my spade on my back, so it bounced and clattered after me and ended up by my side when I rolled to a stop.The golem had turned a rough cone into a spike-covered trap, maybe ten meters long and five wide at the end. Fortunately, Moon Moon hadn’t been caught in any of that.The pink glow that had started a while ago had turned into an ugly red. “Oh no,” I said.There was no dodging the next beam that smacked me dead centre in the chest. Strangely enough, there wasn’t any kick back from the blow, just a whole lot of heat.It was stupid, but the first thing I thought was that it would burn a hole into my new armour, and I fired off a bust of cleaning magic to prevent just that.The moment the laser hit my cleaning magic the beam scattered a little and I had time to slip off to the side.My chest was still warm, and there was a thin black line across the leather over my gambeson, but I had avoided being truly hurt.There was another electrical snap as a jolt of lightning connected with the golem and travelled across its side. Most of it bounced off and ground itself, but some still left blemishes on its side.The leg that Moon Moon had pounced onto was a mess of bite marks, deep jagged cuts, and broken glass. It was clear that he, for one, didn’t have any trouble clobbering the golem, he just couldn’t hit it where it hurt.“I’m trying something!” I called out as my eyes locked onto the browned spot where Amaryllis’ first attack had landed.I squatted down, brought my spade around so that it rested between my legs, then shot off with a burst of stamina towards the Golem.Twisting in mid-air, I spun around so that I was coming at the monster feet-first.I placed one foot on the top of my spade’s stop and aimed the tip of my spade as best I could.I didn’t weigh all that much, but then, that didn’t matter when every kilo I had rammed into the monster along the thin edge of my spade.The golem rocked back as my spade dug into its wound and stayed stuck in its side.My plan hadn’t accounted for when gravity decided to remind me that it existed. My grip on the spade slipped and I fell off.I landed with an oomph, the air knocked out of me by the short fall. I wanted to catch my breath, but one of the creature’s large feet came crashing down onto where I’d landed.Squeaking, I rolled out of its way a moment before it crushed me.As soon as I got to my feet I looked around and tried to take in the situation. The fight had only lasted a minute so far, but it had been a busy one. One of the golem’s feet was a mangled mess, and the spade sticking into its side couldn’t be good for it, not judging by the hundreds of cracks now running through its body.“Amaryllis, hit my spade!”“Got it!” the harpy called back. A moment later another flash filled the clearing and a bolt of electricity hit the metallic collar around the head of my spade.A million electric-blue forks travelled through the golem’s body from the head of my now-glowing spade.The golem stumbled back. Its savaged leg gave out under it with a snap and the monster crashed to the ground with an impact that made the entire valley shake.“Awen!” I screamed. “Now!”“Awa?” Awen said. She stepped out from behind a bush, hammer held in both hands. I tried to reassure her with a smile. The enemy was prone after all, and not as much of a threat.I don’t know if she noticed, but she did scoot forwards towards the golem and raised the hammer high above her head. “F-for Broccoli!” she screamed before slamming the hammer down.It went boink and flew out of her hands.“Awaaa!” Awen yelped before stumbling back and falling onto her bum.Still, it had been enough, a loud ‘crack’ sounded out and a spider web of jagged lines spread across the golem’s surface and deep into its glassy body.Then, just like that, the monster fell apart into a pile of sharpened glass.
* * *
Chapter Seventy-Nine — Happy Dance
Chapter Seventy-Nine — Happy Dance We all just... stood there and panted as the glass golem’s body cracked and snapped apart under its own weight.“Awa, we did it,” Awen said.I felt my lips twitching up. “We sure did,” I said.Congratulations! You have shattered Glass Golem, level 10. Bonus Exp is granted for breaking a construct above your level! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“It’s dead for real then,” I said.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 8Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointYou have unlocked: One Class Skill Slot“I levelled up!” I cheered.“Awa, s-so did I,” Awen said. She blinked a few times and her eyes refocused until they fell on me. “Th-thank you, Broccoli.”“Pfft, don’t be silly, you did your part.” I gave her a big thumb’s up, then, because I still had a whole lot of adrenaline, I skipped over to her and glomped her. “Ohh, I’m so happy.” I said as I let go.“M-me too,” Awen said.I started to dance a little, shaking my hips from side to side while pumping my arms up and down to a happy beat that only I could hear.“What in the world are you doing?” Amaryllis asked as she walked down the hill.“I’m happy dancing!” I said. “It’s what you do when you’re happy. You should join in.”“Absolutely not.”“Awen! Let’s use peer pressure on her!” I cheered with a laugh. “C’mon, dance, dance!”I started walking the Egyptian around an increasingly flustered Amaryllis. It only got worse when Moon Moon joined in with a happy bark. His own dancing looked more like a bouncy ball caught in a drier but it was definitely dancing.“Awa, I don't know h-how to dance like that,” Awen said.I rushed over to her side. “It’s easy. See, you stand up like this, then you shake your booty.” I demonstrated.Awen, the poor soul, went very red in the face.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the class skill: Dancing!I paused mid swing. “Oh, hey.”“What? Did the world do us all a favour and dislocated your hips to stop you from swinging them in such a debauched way?” Amaryllis asked.“Nope. I got the Dancing skill. As a class skill. That might be handy, right?”Amaryllis sighed. “If it means you look like less of a fool, then certainly. I’m certain Awen here would love to teach you how to dance.”“Awa!” Awen said. “I-I wouldn’t mind, really. Um. I’m not that good though.”I snorted and waved it off. “It’s fine. We can look into that some other time. Did the glass golem drop anything neat?”Amaryllis shook her head. “Dungeon made monsters outside of a dungeon act like normal creatures. I’m certain someone could find a use for all this glass, but otherwise, this is all a bit of a waste.”“You can’t eat it,” Moon Moon said. “It hurts going in, and it hurts more coming out.”“Yeah, I can imagine,” I said. I decided not to think of the poor drolls that were sacrificed to discover that. “Well, we’ve proven that we can take them down when working together.” I walked over to the golem and yanked my shovel out of its side with only a bit of wiggling to get it loose.The edge of the blade didn’t have any chips on it, but it was still a little hot to the touch and there was a slight warp to it. Obviously it wasn’t made to have Amaryllis levels of lightning running through it.“We should get moving,” I said. “We might encounter more of them before reaching the dungeon.”Moon Moon nodded. “They used to always be three, and all near the dungeon, but now they’re moving out of their territory.”I nodded. “Cool. We worked really well together, by the way! I’m proud of all of you.”“Stop being such an idiot, we’re burning daylight,” Amaryllis said as she stomped by. I think she was only miffed because my pride in her made her back straighten even though it was a very silly thing.Orange strutted by my feet, tail tall and noble as if I had included her in the people that I was proud of.“Hmpf,” I said as I jogged after them. Awen caught up soon enough and Moon Moon ran off ahead of us to act as something of a scout. “So, how was your first fight? Was that your first fight?”“Awa, I guess? My uncle once brought me to the plains to fight these giant ant monsters with an arbalest. They were very weak, and it wasn’t much of a fight. Um. He just wanted to let me play with the Shady Lady’s new weapons, I think.”“I didn’t notice anything like that on the Lady when I was on her,” I said.“They were given to a caravan in the north when they were about to be attacked by some roving raptors. It’s one of my uncle’s favourite stories, I think.”“Awesome,” I said. “You’re lucky you have such a nice uncle,” I said.“Th-thank you? I guess I am. He’s the reason I got to meet you.”I pulled Awen into a sideways hug, but let go when we had to step over a few rocks. The terrain grew increasingly rocky as we moved North. Then the rocks were replaced by large craters, the smallest of them a few meters across. The centres were black marks on the landscape and the edges had sharp demarcations and jutting spikes, as if someone had hit a plate with a hammer.“What made these?” I asked as I gestured to the dozens of craters dotting the landscape.“Dragons,” Moon Moon said. “A long time ago.” The droll pointed ahead. “That hill, then we’re near the dungeon.”The hill wasn’t a hill at all. It was the outside wall of a crater, one wide enough that an entire village could have filled it.The ground was bright, sparkling with glassy reflections that showed where the sand and dirt had been worn off by wind and rain. The bottom of the crater had turned into a desolate valley of sorts, one where nothing grew. And all along the edges were pillars of stone, their interior sides turned to molten glass.“Whoa,” I said. I couldn’t begin to imagine the power of whatever had created the crater. It had to be something like a bomb, but immensely powerful.“This is where the dragons fought,” Moon Moon said. He pointed to a spot along the edge of the crater where there were quite a few more glassy pillars. “That’s the place with the dungeon.”“Are all dragons this strong?” I asked.Amaryllis hummed. “Just about. This looks like it’s decades old. Maybe even more than that. Were it closer to civilization I’m certain the area would have been stripped already. Moon Moon, do you know which dragons fought here?”Moon Moon nodded. “Yes. Lesdenthree, She Who Rules Over Sandy Lands With Her Claws of Iron and Her Breath of Electric Flames, the Lady of the Brightest Plasma. And Knight Dragon, Shmug, Eater of Caerbannog Bunnies.”“Those are some titles,” I said.“Dragons are like that,” Amaryllis said. “I think both of them are still alive, so this fight wasn’t enough to kill either one.”I swallowed and looked over the landscape that looked like it had endured a low-yield nuke. “That’s kind of scary.”If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“The first bit of common sense to pass between your ears. Let’s check out that dungeon.”Amaryllis hopped off the side of the hill and flapped her way down. The rest of us were a lot slower in making our way down. I could have jumped, but I wanted to make sure that Awen and Moon Moon made it down safely.Goosebumps crawled up my arms as we crossed the valley at a slow walk. Everytime the wind blew it made the pillars around the crater humm and sparkling dust would twist and twirl around in the air.Amaryllis stopped next to a sort of tunnel in the forest of glassy pillars. It was a dark passageway that seemed to go deep into the side of the crater. “We’ll check on our things now,” she said.I nodded and brought up Mister Menu.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
8
Age
16
Health
125
Stamina
130
Mana
115
Resilience
35
Flexibility
35
Magic
20
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
B — 86%
Jumping
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 23%
Cute
D — 100%
Dancing
F — 05%
General Skills
`
Insight
C — 47%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
E — 89%
Archeology
F — 57%
Friendmaking
D — 100%
Physical Manakinesis
F — 43%
Skill points
4
General Skill Points
1
I had plenty of skill points, but I wanted to save three of them for Cleaning’s Rank A. As soon as that was done I would put the rest into Jumping. I could probably spare a point or two later for Gardening and Dancing, just to see what they did.My next General Skill point might go into Friendmaking, but that wasn’t immediately useful, not in a dungeon, I didn’t think. So that wouldn’t change either.Putting points into Cute was right out.I checked my gear in a hurry, then nodded. “I’m as ready as I can be,” I said.“Awa, m-me too,” Awen said.Amaryllis shook her head and poofed pen and paper into existence before she crouched down. “Broccoli, Awen, Moon Moon, how are your potion stocks?”“Ah, I’m fresh out,” I said.“I don’t have any,” Awen said.Moon Moon was chasing his tail.“Right.” Amaryllis scratched a few things on her paper and then sent it off with a poof. Moments later a book and eight trifecta potions appeared. “Two each,” She said as she gestured to the potions.I placed one in my bandoleer, the other in my backpack surrounded by some cloth to keep it from breaking. “Does your ring work in a dungeon?” I asked.“No, it won’t,” Amaryllis said. “Which is why I got this out now.”“Oh,” I said as I recognized the title of the book. Midhve’s compendium of Dungeons and Associated Classes. “Do you think this dungeon will be in there?”Amaryllis shrugged and started leafing through the book. Soon enough she went ‘aha’ and poked a page with the tip of a talon. “Here it is.”Awen and I both crowded around her shoulder to read. Even Orange jumped onto Amaryllis’ lap, though I think it was more to be in the way than to see what the fuss was.“Awa,” Awen said. She rooted around in her little hip sack and pulled out a pair of big round spectacles. “S-sorry,” she said as she slid them on. They made her eyes look huge.“Those look cute on you,” I said before returning to the book.The Path of Broken ReflectionsApprox Dungeon levels 5-7Suggested levels 10+Party composition: 3+Special warnings: Illusions. Mind GamesLocated North-West of Greenshade and along the Eastern fringes of the Ostri desert.At ToW this dungeon has three floors.The delve room is built in a large ravine with bridges spanning the gaps from floor to floor. Beware of wires between bridges preventing clever delvers from skipping ahead. Otherwise safe.First Floor: Puzzle room. Move pillars to move beams of light to the crystal above the exit. Each moved pillar summons a guardian Glass Golem (common).Second Floor: Narrow bridge over pitfall trap. Mirrors on sides will attract attention towards sides. Mental resistance suggested.Third Floor: Boss room. Large open arena where a Lesser Glass Wyrm (uncommon) awaits the delvers. Flying boss. Will strafe and use minor illusions.Loot rewards:Mirrors, small glass weaponsClass reward:Glass Cannon classSpecializes in ranged attacks and creating items out of glass.“Looks easy enough,” I said.Amaryllis shook her head. “No. Look at the date.” She poked the numbers at the end.“Um. And what’s the date today?”She sighed. “This is over a year out of date, nearly two. When I stood by the entrance it said the dungeon was levels seven to ten. We can expect one, maybe two more floors.”I nodded and looked into the dark pit of the dungeon. Part of me wanted to back off, tell the world to find someone else for its lame quests.A bigger part of me was excited to run in there and have an adventure.“Well then, let’s go fight a wyrm!”
Chapter Eighty — Path of Broken Reflections
Chapter Eighty — Path of Broken Reflections You are Entering The Path of Broken Reflections DungeonLevels 7-10 Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit? “No thanks,” I told the screen before it promptly (heh) disappeared.“Any changes to your quest?” Amaryllis asked.Pruning the EvilYou have heard of the location of a corrupted dungeon. Explore it, find any signs of great Evil. Eradicate them!“None,” I said.Amaryllis huffed, then she insisted that I take the rear of the group, with Awen before me and Moon Moon at the very front. The droll had tackled the first level of the dungeon a few times already with his pack-it was a good source of a few trinkets they could either use or sell-so he was familiar with the first floor, at least.I imagined that five or six drolls like Moon Moon would tear through a couple of glass golems with no problem.“Should we get some lights?” I asked as we moved down the darkened tunnel that was the dungeon’s entrance.“I’ve got it,” Amaryllis said. She raised a wing, then paused. “Humans don’t lose their night vision to red light, right?”“Yeah,” I said.She nodded and light started to flood into a ball between the points of two talons. It hovered over her outstretched wing, glowing a bright red that illuminated the tunnel ahead and reflected off the hundreds of glassy facets growing all across the walls of the tunnel.Our group huddled a little closer together as our faint reflections passed by every which way in the walls around us.“Spooky,” I said. “I was expecting a bit more... I don’t know, something else. Not this aesthetic.”“Dungeons don’t need to comply with your sense of fashion,” Amaryllis said. Still, she was the one that looked the least comfortable about being in such a narrow tunnel.Then we reached a door. A large, circular doorway that looked more like a faceted crystal than a proper door, but it had large brass hinges on one side and a complex handle on the other.“This one needs turning,” Moon Moon said before reaching for the round handle.The door was pushed open without so much as a whisper of protest.“Whoa,” I said as I stepped out.We were in a ravine. A huge open area that was cut into the ground like a massive scar. It reminded me of pictures of the Grand Canyon. Walls of stone, nearly a hundred meters apart that sparkled as they caught the light from the blue-white sun above.We found ourselves on a small platform overlooking the rapidly flowing water way off at the bottom of the ravine. Glass spikes jutting out from around the churning waves, like teeth waiting for someone clumsy to trip and fall into their maw.Unlike the Wonderland dungeon, I couldn’t spot any path down.“That’s the first floor,” Moon Moon said as he pointed straight across from us.There was another platform there, with a glass door beyond it. “Um, how do we get there?” I asked.Moon Moon moved to the edge of our platform, then put a foot over the edge and stomped it down.There was a dull thud, and the shadow cast by his foot revealed a surface just underneath. I moved closer, then dropped to one knee next to Moon Moon and brought a hand down. From so close it was easy to see the foot-thick beginning of a glass bridge, but when I looked up I couldn’t see the tiny imperfections in the glass beyond a few meters. “We need to cross this?” I asked.“Yeah,” Moon Moon said. Suiting action to words, he squatted onto all fours and began padding across the bridge. It looked as if he was walking on empty air, kind of like how Orange did all the time.The cat in question yawned and started walking ahead of me, pausing a little ways down to look back and see if we were following.“Well, I for one can fly,” Amaryllis said.“The book mentioned wires making that dangerous,” Awen said. “Awa, I think I can see them.” She pointed off to the side.She was right. If I squinted I could just barely catch sight of razor-thin wires sparkling in the sunlight as the wind coursing through the ravine made them wobble a little. There were hundreds of them. And as the wind was sliced apart, there came a sound like a faint and distant hum.Taking my courage in hand, I stepped onto the bridge, then bounced on it a few times, ears perked for the faintest crack or splintering sound, but it was as solid as stone, if a little more slippery. “Well then,” I said. “let’s get a move on?”“Awa,” Awen said. She closed her eyes as she took her first step, then opened them and looked straight down. I saw her entire body tensing. I couldn’t blame her. Looking down to see a hundred foot drop under you was kind of spooky.“Hey, Awen,” I said. “It might help if you look at me instead of straight down, yeah?”Awen swallowed and tore her eyes up. “Oh-okay.”“Yeah Awen,” Amaryllis said. “You keep your eyes on Broccoli’s backside.”“Awa!”We crossed the bridge slowly, as if we were all in our nineties instead of teenagers. Each step was slow and placed just-so on the slippery glass surface, and I’m certain that a single ‘crack’ sound would have been enough to stop all of our hearts.“We have made it,” Moon Moon said as he hopped on the opposite ledge. “And no one walked off the edge. Good good!”“That happened?” I asked as I hurried up a little and stepped onto solid stone.“Walks Very Crooked did not make it back from his last trip. It was very sad. But we have made it.”I didn’t know quite what to say, so I picked up Orange and set her on my shoulder while the girls caught up with us.“So, this first room, it’s got a puzzle in it, right?”“Yes,” Moon Moon said. “It’s very easy. But we haven’t tried it since the dungeon went bad.”“Let’s try to form up, then,” Amaryllis said. “Broccoli, Moon Moon, you two at the front. Awen and I will take the back. Focus on knocking anything down, Broccoli. Awen can smash them, and I’ll fry anything that looks at me funny.”Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.“What if I look at you funny?” I asked.“You look funny period,” she said. “Now open that door. It’s evening already, despite the light in the Dungeon saying otherwise.”“Right-o!” I said as I moved over to the door. It had a big brass wheel in the middle, with spokes poking out of it and two rods that slotted into the walls on either side to keep it locked. A bit of grunting, some twisting, and then even more grunting later, the door was sliding open on a pair of hinges that were as thick around as my thighs.The room beyond the door was like a cathedral. Faint light illuminated the room from behind monolithic stained-glass windows and the walls were made of large grey bricks. The passageway we stepped into curved off to the left a ways, only stopping at a large device that looked like a sextant with about a hundred extra arms. There was another passage branching off that one and veering off to the right, but I couldn’t see far into that one without being at the intersection myself.Moon Moon moved ahead of us and pointed to the device. “That’s the thing,” he said. “You need to make the light go from that thing to the next thing.”“What light?” I asked as I approached the weird device. It was the size of a small car, and set atop a marble plinth as if it was a piece of art. It was certainly pretty enough.“That one,” Moon Moon said.I followed his pointing finger to the wall behind the device. A glowing gem floated, suspended between two glass hands just before the opened chest of a strange statue.“Amaryllis, can you shine some light that way?” I asked.“I’ve been demoted to team lamppost,” Amaryllis griped. Still, she pointed a light towards the gem and that end of the room lit up.The statue-thing holding the gem was a glass golem, similar to the one we had fought outside of the dungeon, but... warped. Its surface wasn’t made of as many clean lines, instead it was broken up and covered in tiny asymmetrical bumps and bubbles just under the surface, like really old window panes. One of its four legs even looked a bit shorter than the others.“When you reach for the glowing rock, it’ll eat it. You need to beat it up to get it back,” Moon Moon explained.“It won’t try to fight until then?” I asked as I took off my backpack and pushed it into a nook to the side. I carefully placed Orange atop it and gave the kitty a pat on the head.“No,” Moon Moon said. “But without its glowy thing you can’t move on. It’s like this three times.”It was right up against the wall, so there was no sneaking around it. In fact, the best place to fight it would be a little bit deeper into the corridor.I brought my shovel around and tried to think on how best to tackle the golem. In the end I went for simplicity first. “Okay. Moon Moon, you try to grab the gem. I’m going to kick it from behind. Amaryllis, hit it in the leg as hard as you can without making us all go deaf. Awen, if her attack doesn’t break its leg, you’ll do the honours. If it doesn't fall from that, we break another leg, then we dogpile it.”“I like this plan,” Moon Moon said. “Usually we all just jump on it and rip and tear until it’s done.”I grinned. “Everyone ready?”Amaryllis flicked her wrist, revealing that magic dagger she sometimes used, and Awen fumbled her hammer out of her belt and nodded at me.“Go Moon Moon!”The droll leapt ahead, tail wiggling behind him as he pounced onto the glass golem’s chest and swiped at the gem.It was sucked into the monster’s chest before he could so much as touch it.“Insight,” I muttered.A Glass Golem Gem Guardian, level 9.“It’s level nine,” I said before firing off towards the creature with a burst of stamina. I planted one foot on its head, then hopped towards the wall behind it. There wasn’t much space between the golem and the wall, which was exactly what I wanted.Spending all of my stamina on the first fight would have been silly. So I kept a bit in reserve as I kicked the golem with my back pressed up against the wall for support.The lumbering glass giant stumbled forwards a couple of ungainly steps.“Close your eyes!” Amaryllis screamed.I did as she asked while landing in a crouch behind the golem. I even pressed my hands over my ears for good measure.It was partially wasted. The clap of her lightning attack shook the room and left me with a huge greenish-white mark across my vision even through closed eyelids.It did a number on the golem though, sending a spider web of cracks through one of its better legs and turning its surface black.“Ah-awa!” Awen screamed as she ran over to the monster and with a full body swing to give her attack some weight, smashed her hammer into the creature’s leg.It splintered.The golem tipped.Awen’s eyes widened as the huge construct started to fall on a direct path towards her.I shot out of my crouch and dove across the floor to tackle her out of the way.Everything shook as the golem fell onto its side and exploded into thousands of glassy splinters that showered down on the two of us. I did my best to shield both myself and Awen until the last piece of glass tinkled to the floor.Then, as one, all the shards started to fade away.Congratulations! You have busted Glass Golem Gem Guardian, level 9. Bonus Exp is granted for breaking a construct above your level! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Awaaa,” Awen whispered.I looked down to her flushed face and grinned. “Sorry about that,” I said.“N-no,” Awen said. “I don’t mind.”“That was easy!” Moon Moon said as he plucked the glowing gem from the fading remains of the golem. “No loot though.”I hopped to my feet, then helped Awen up. “I’ll take easy,” I said. “Now, let’s figure out this thing and keep on moving!”
* * *
Chapter Eighty-One — In Case of Puzzle, Break Glass
Chapter Eighty-One — In Case of Puzzle, Break Glass Awen was the first to gravitate over to the light device when we were done dusting ourselves off post-battle.“Awa, this is where the gem goes,” she said, pointing to a metallic basket to one side with little fixtures on it. “And the rest of this... these are all mirrors and lenses. It’s to focus light?”Moon Moon nodded. “We make the spinning things spin until it works,” he said as he gestured to the base of the device. Below all of the tiny mechanical arms holding bits of glass and small mirrors and even the occasional prism, were rings that circled all the way around the machine.Awen poked one of these, and a few of the arms shifted and moved. “Oh, I see,” she said.Moon Moon pawed over the gem and Awen set it in place. Then she started to spin each ring a little bit. I could actually follow her progress as each motion changed the angles of the mirrors and bits of glass within.I leaned up against a wall near Amaryllis and tried to calm my breathing down even more. I had spent over a third of my stamina in that one fight. If we had to tackle another glass golem then I wanted to be well-rested for it.“I’m not sure what to think of this dungeon,” Amaryllis said.“Oh?” I asked.“That golem, at level nine. It should have been just a little weaker than the one we faced out of the dungeon. It broke apart the moment it crashed to the floor. Now, I’m more than willing to believe that my magic had more of an effect this time because I poured more into it, but it was still too easy.”I shrugged. “I guess we’ll see with the next one?” I looked down the second corridor. Much as with the first, it ended with a large device on a marble pedestal. The area around it was far darker though, and I couldn’t make out many more details.“Perhaps. Something’s off about this place though,” Amaryllis said.I swallowed and tried to dismiss the goosebumps crawling up my arms. I could vividly remember the strange evil roots at the bottom of the Wonderland dungeon. I wondered if they had made it all the way here too.“Awa!”I looked up to see Awen shifting one of the rings just a tiny bit, then the entire device clicked and a beam of light so strong it was almost visible cut across the corridor and over to the base of the next device.“Good good!” Moon Moon said. “Usually we just spin and spin for a long time until we figure it out.”“Are, um, we ready?” Awen asked.I hefted my shovel. “I guess so,” I said. “Shall we?”We all kind of paused when we arrived at the next intersection. There were two golems holding a gem each.“That’s not the same,” Moon Moon said. “Usually there is one.”“Well, that’s a bit of a pickle,” I said. “Insight?”A Glass Golem Gem Guardian, level 8.A Glass Golem Gem Guardian, level 8.“They’re a level lower,” I said.“That shouldn’t make too much of a difference. We’ll need to either focus on one or split our attention to two of them.”I hummed as I thought about it. “We could try to knock them together? We have some rope.”“Too likely to give them some momentum in the fight.”“We could bite and chomp on both.” Moon Moon suggested.“Sure,” I said. “Amaryllis, you and Moon Moon take the one to the left? You’re our strongest members. So take it down fast please? Awen and I will take the one to the right?”“Awa, you trust me that much?”I blinked. “Huh? I mean, yeah, of course.”Amaryllis, for her part, just shifted her shoulders and wiggled her wings to unlimber herself. “Very well. Let’s make this quick.”I eyed the golem I would be fighting with Awen’s help. With just the two of us it would be a much more even fight, and a far more dangerous one.Like the last golem, this one had a lot of imperfections in its glassy surface. One of its arms looked partially melted, a rainbow of different colour glass all mixing together and coming to a point.“Ready!” Amaryllis said.“Right,” I muttered as I got ready to jump. If I could get it to crash, then Awen could smack it dead. “Go!”I bounced forwards and shot up to the golem’s head.It glowed to life moments before I reached it and started to lurch forwards while the gem hovering before it slipped into its chest.I placed a foot on the golem’s head and used it to push myself over the monster, then, while at the apex of my jump, I rammed my shovel down atop its flat head.My spade bounced off, and I had to refocus before I went splat on the wall behind the golem.I was just recuperating from my landing when I heard Awen scream.Turning, I saw a large glass spike racing for my head. I ducked, but was still sent flying as the spike smacked me on the helmet.I rolled, getting back to my feet as quickly as I could. That hurt a little, but it was about as painful as when you tried to pick up an eraser under a desk and raised your head too fast. It hurt, and my eyes watered a bit, but I’d live.I saw Awen race over to the golem and deliver a heavy two-handed blow to the joint between his base and one of its legs. The glass splintered, but held.“Duck!” I called just in time for Awen to dip under another swing of its spiked arm.I ran back at the golem while trying to figure out a plan. Nothing was coming to me though except the idea of hitting it as hard as I could as often as I could.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!Then the golem started to glow from within.“Awen, find cover!” I said a moment before I jumped and rolled behind the device in the centre of the intersection. Awen soon joined me.The air grew a bit warmer as the golem fired.Not at us, but towards our friends.Moon Moon yelped and jumped into the air before he started to smack his flank where a hole was now burnt through his leather shorts.“Sorry!” I called out to him.“What do we do?” Awen asked.I chewed on my lip. I didn’t have the oomph necessary to break its tough hide. Awen did, but her hammer...“Oh,” I said. “I’m going to shove my shovel into it. You hammer it in as hard as you can while I distract it, okay?”“Awaa, alright!”I took a deep breath, rolled out from behind our cover, and bolted towards the golem.It turned to face me, its giant spike pointed right at me.At the last moment I wove under the spike, grabbed onto my shovel as if it was a javelin, and rammed it as hard and fast as I could into the golem’s chest.I heard the pitter-patter of Awen’s feet as she came up behind me and my spade shook as she hammered it in.The tool sunk into the golem with a crack, and hundreds of fractures ran out of the wound, but it was still alive.Awen squeaked before she was batted aside by the golem’s normal arm. Its spiky arm shot out towards me to try and turn me into a Broccoli kebab.I spun out of the way, then ducked under its next blow. “Awen! Try to hit the spade again!” I called out. I would act as a distraction while she got ready.A quick punch to the golem’s nearest leg revealed that it was harder than my knuckles and that I wasn’t all that strong. Still, it gave me an idea.My hands started to glow as I pushed more and more mana into them. My next punch hurt my hand just as much, but it also left the glass I had punched sparkly and clean.“Okay, so that’s not working.”Awen came in and with a grunt of effort smacked my spade’s handle again. It dug in a few more inches, and the golem cracked and crunched as it moved.Then a bolt of lightning zigged and zagged around me and connected with the metal bits of my spade sticking out of the golem.It exploded, throwing fist-sized chunks of glass everywhere.I ducked my head down, bits of golem bouncing off hy helmet and thumping to the ground around me.“Ah,” Amaryllis said when the tinkling finally stopped and I lowered my hands away from my face. “Perhaps that was a bit much.”“A bit,” I agreed.Her golem was... all over the floor with a proud Moon Moon standing in the midst of its remains.“It looked like you could use the help?” she offered.Congratulations! You have cracked Glass Golem Gem Guardian, level 8. Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!Awen and I locked eyes, and then we both giggled a little. “That was fun,” I said. “But I think I need a break before the next one.”Amaryllis nodded before bending over to scoop up the gem from her golem. “That’s fair. Awen, catch.”Awen fumbled the gem out of the air and ended up hugging it close to keep hold of it. I— I’ll get to work on this one,” she said.The device had two gem holders and about twice as many rings around its base.I started looking for the other gem among the piles of disintegrating glass when I stumbled across something on the ground. It was a sheath made of some dark leather, the cap at the end a decorative piece of glass, and a short handle stuck out of its opening.I picked it up and pulled the sheath apart with both hands. A small knife greeted me, its blade-shaped glass that looked wicked-sharp.“We got loot!” I called back.“Yes yes!” Moon Moon said as he plodded over. “That’s what these drop. Knives and pretty mirrors. Very sharp.”“Cool,” I said. “Who gets this one?”Moon Moon shrugged. “Your kill, your toy.”“Amaryllis’ kill, really,” I said.The harpy eyed the knife then shook her head. “Keep it.”“Hrm.” I said. I already had a pair of knives that were perfectly serviceable for camping and the like. This one looked more like something for fighting though. “Whelp, I guess it’ll have to be Awen’s, she only has the one dinky camp knife.”“Awa?” Awen said.“Here,” I said as I gave it to her. “Worst case, you can treat it as a trophy of sorts. Hang it on the mantelpiece and tell all of your kids about that time you killed golems with the great Broccoli Bunch!”“The great Broccoli Bunch?” Amaryllis asked. “Who killed the last two golems again? Or is my memory failing me?”“The great Broccoli Bunch, and her okay sidekick Amaryllis,” I said to Awen.Amaryllis squawked in indignation.“Th-thank you,” Awen said as she took the knife. “Awa... I’ll get back to work!” she said before rushing off to tinker with the device.Amaryllis watched her go, then turned to me. “That girl is handier than I originally suspected she would be. Do try and curb your enthusiasm with her though, we don’t need a pet, we want a friend.”“Huh?” I asked, and Amaryllis huffed and moved off to look down the next corridor.I wondered what she meant by that.
Chapter Eighty-Two — Casus Bellyache
Chapter Eighty-Two — Casus Bellyache “Um,” I said.“That’s not the way it was,” Moon Moon said.All four of us stared up at the thing standing in the middle of the next corridor. There was a bit more floor space here, the area widening into a large square that squeezed back down into a corridor at the far end. If I stretched my neck I could see the door that was presumably the exit and another device with arms and mirrors and such next to it.All that was set dressing for the thing in the middle of the room. Ten feet tall, nearly as wide, and with six legs that were nearly Broccoli-sized, the monster stood in the centre of the room like a gigantic glass guardian. Its body was a multi-faceted ball of glass, red veins running deep within and shifting about like a stingy lava-lamp.“Insight?”A Glass Horror, level 7.“That thing’s only level seven?” I asked.“Even dragons are only level one at some point,” Amaryllis said. “And yet you wouldn’t want to fight them.”“Because they’re still dragons?”“And because they have mothers,” Amaryllis said. She shifted, still eyeing the monstrosity taking up a sizable portion of the room. “Hitting that is going to be hard. I can’t see any big weaknesses on it.”“Awa, it’s also tall,” Awen said.“We could focus on the legs?” I tried. “But it has six, so that’ll take some effort. Any idea what kind of stuff it can do?”“At level seven it should only have four skills,” Amaryllis said. “Probably similar to the ones the glass golems had, but don’t bet on it.”“So, giant lasers, it can reflect spells and, uh, it can make the ground turn into spikes? Can’t remember the others.”“That’s the gist of it,” Amaryllis said. She twirled her little dagger around. “So, lunch?”“Huh?”The harpy rolled her eyes. “It won’t move until we get closer, the ones behind us shouldn’t reappear until we leave the floor and wait nearly a whole day. So we have time to sit back and relax a little.”“Well, um, alright?”It was a little strange, but I didn’t complain. Instead I fetched my backpack (and Orange) and brought it over to the second corridor where we spread a blanket on the ground and got to eating. It was mostly hardtack and cheese and water, but the company made up for the bland food. That, and it allowed my stamina and mana to climb back up to full before the fight, which would probably come in handy.“So, Moon Moon, how long have you been in the Best Pack?” I asked as I gnawed on some bread.“Very very long,” Moon Moon said. “Since I was born.”“Cool! How did you get your name?”“I like the moon,” Moon Moon said. He flicked a piece of cheese into his mouth and swallowed it whole. “Mmm, this smells nice.”I nodded. That made perfect sense. “I like the way you name yourselves, it’s cute. Are all the drolls named that way?”“Yes yes,” Moon Moon said. “Except for the Pretty Good pack, they have silly names, like Brian and Matt.”“Ah,” I said. “The anthropologists in this world must have their plates full, huh?”“This world?” Awen asked.I felt my smile grow a little stiff. “Ah-hah, nevermind. Um, so, has anyone figured out how to take out that big beastie?”“No,” Amaryllis said. “I hate how ill-suited my magic is to this kind of situation. I didn’t decide to become a Thunder Mage only to be trumped by the first large foe I come across.”“Yeah. My magic’s no good either,” I said.“I can still bite things hard,” Moon Moon said with a wag of his tail.Awen shifted a little. She had sat down with her legs folded together to one side, as if she were wearing a big dress instead of comfy pants. “Awa, I think I have an idea.”“Oh, do tell!” I said.“The device can aim its beam. I think it can be used as a weapon, of sorts.” She fiddled with her bottle of water. “Um, I’m not sure if it will hurt it though. My uncle said that a lot of dungeons had solutions to their floors. Um, he said they were boring and he likes hitting things better, but we can try?”“We could always start the fight with that,” I said before taking a swallow from my own bottle. We only had a few with us. I didn’t think we’d be in the dungeon for more than a day at most though, so it would probably be okay. “Right, should we get going?”A bit of packing later and we set all of our gear aside around the second intersection just in case before forming up near to the room with the Glass Horror. Awen rushed over to the device and turned some of the rings a little. It made the laser-like beam of light move up and down. “R-ready!” she said.We all got ready in our own ways. Amaryllis ran a talon across the sparking edge of her magic dagger. I shifted the grip on my spade and looked up to see if I had clearance to jump around with, and Moon Moon bent over double to sniff at his own crotch.I decided to not pay attention to the last.“Starting!” Awen said.I crouched a little, the muscles in my thighs and calves tightening as I got ready to move.The device Awen was working on clicked and clacked and the beam of light shooting across the room slowly moved and jumped and started until, finally, it was pointing right at the glass horror’s core.The little red veins within wiggled and twisted like coiling snakes. The golem shivered.“Um,” I said.Cracks started to form where the red squiggles on the inside moved, but the glass horror was also starting to glow.Stolen story; please report.“It’s buffing it!” Amaryllis yelled.Awen did something and the beam cut off, but it was too late. The horror shot forwards at a speed that nothing that size should have had. It raised one large leg and Moon Moon had to roll forwards to avoid being pulped.I shot to the air, aiming from the golem’s body with my spade ready to spear into it.Three separate beams of light smashed into my chest from the legs on the side of the golem’s body I was on.I yelped as searing pain cut into my tummy and sides.The beams were painful, but they didn’t have any actual kinetic strength to them, nothing that made my course change. I crashed into the construct and landed awkwardly on my hands and knees.My first instinct was to wince and press a hand against the wounds in my sides. I regretted it as soon as I touched the sensitive skin there. “Burned through my armour,” I muttered. “Rude.”Getting up on wobbly legs, I raised my spade high above my head, then smacked it down where the cracks within it were close to the surface. Bits and pieces of glass sloughed off with every blow, but for all the damage I was doing, it was obvious that the horror had enough mass to take the blows without being destroyed.Then the horror stomped one foot to the ground and the nearest wall turned into a bed of jaggedy glass spikes.I saw Amaryllis just barely rolling out of the way of a spike that would have skewered her. “Get off there!” she yelled at me.“Got it!” I said as I hopped off.The moment I was off the golem’s back a thunderclap sounded out and I had to cover my ears to block out the sound of it. One of the horror’s legs cracked, a splinter running from its base to the joint where it connected to its body.“Nice wo-” I started to say, but Amaryllis wasn’t done. Another flash of light, and a searing electrical beam smashed into another leg on the same side. Then a third and one of the rearmost legs burst apart into a million glassy shards.“Keep hitting it!” Amaryllis said. She was panting, and her hair-feathers were plastered to her forehead by sweat.“I’ll try and distract it!” I called out as I moved under the horror with my spade. “Moon Moon, smash those legs!”“Yes yes!” Moon Moon said as he ran over to one of the damaged legs and started gnawing at it.I had to keep the horror’s focus on me to give the others time to bring it down. I wove between its legs, smacking each one as hard as I could with my spade while avoiding the glassy caltrops it had left behind when it summoned all those glassy spikes. “Hey ugly, I’m here!” I screamed up to it.Mocking someone for being ugly was really, really bad, but this was more of a something than a someone, so maybe the insult would mostly land at the feet of its creator. Still rude, but a bit less so.My spade made quite the clamor as I banged it around. I must have caught the horror’s attention because it began smashing its legs around where I was standing. I felt myself grinning as I hopped back and out of the way of a leg, then skipped to the side to avoid a swipe. It was almost like a game, and even if it was a little risky, I was having quite a bit of fun.Then the horror’s legs glowed and a beam of magical light hit me square in the face.I screamed as I felt a searing slice pass from my nose to my forehead, the stench of burning flesh filled my senses and I had to close my eyes against the too bright light.“Broc, duck!” Amaryllis called.It was too late.Something, probably one of the horror’s huge legs, smashed into me and sent me flying back. The air was batted out of my lungs and I saw a wash of stars crossing my vision as I was thrown back.My flight ended with a jolt and what had to be the worst pain I ever felt as something pushed into my back.I blinked dumbly, trying to figure out just what was going on.That’s when I saw the glassy spike sticking out of my lower abdomen. Just a handspan of glass, decorated in dark red liquid.“Oh,” I said.“Broccoli!” Awen said as she ran over to me. Glass was kicked aside as she came and fell to my side, then she stared at my chest with muted horror.“Potion!” Amaryllis screamed.That kicked Awen into gear and she started to fumble around her jacket.“It’s okay,” I said.It didn’t really feel okay. It felt very not okay.“It was a fun adventure.”“You, you idiot!” Amaryllis screamed.The air began to whisper around, and the smell of burnt flesh faded to be replaced by the electron tang of ozone.The room darkened, every shadowy corner becoming a dark pit as a wind whipped around the entire arena.“You bastard!” Amaryllis screeched.White. Everything went white. There was a noise, but I couldn’t hear it over the sharp, painful ringing in my ears.When things returned to normal Amaryllis was panting, every breath sounding like a wheeze, her wings were limp by her sides and she was bent over double.The horror had a hole going through it from front to back, wide enough that I could have placed both fists in it side by side with room to spare. The glass round the hole was glowing, thin smoke pouring out of it.“Nice shot,” I said.“I-idiot,” she said.Awen pushed something against my lips. “Drink, please, please drink.”I smiled at her as I drank the potion, then the world darkened just a little.
* * *
Chapter Eighty-Three — There's No Sense Crying Over Every Mistake
Chapter Eighty-Three — There's No Sense Crying Over Every Mistake I woke up to find Amaryllis hunched over me, her face nearly pressed up to mine. “Hey,” I said. “Um. I forgot to think of any cool final words. Sorry?”Amaryllis’ lower lip wobbled, her eyes got teary, then she glared at me. “You idiot. You moron, you half witted, cretinous dolt!” She started to jab the not-pokey side of a talon into my ribs. “Imbecile, dullard, simpleton! Moron!”“You used that one already,” I pointed out. “Also, oww!”Amaryllis pulled her talon back, sniffed wetly, then glared even harder. “I’m charging you for those potions I used.”I blinked. I did feel pretty... normal. Except for my ribs, those kind of hurt. “I’m not going to die?” I asked.Awen appeared on my other side. “Ah... awa,” was all she said before she crashed onto me and buried her face in my chest. “I thought, I thought you died!” she cried.“Ah, hey hey,” I said as I patted the back of her head. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”“You nearly weren’t,” Amaryllis said. “You bled a lot. I’m quite certain humans need most of their blood to stay in their bodies.”“You’d think that,” I said. “Is Moon Moon okay?”“Yes yes,” Moon Moon said. I tilted my head back to see the droll sitting next to the device at the end of the corridor. “It’s good you’re not dead.”He bent forwards, pulled up a... hand mirror, then started to growl and show his teeth at it.I decided that was a problem for later.“I agree, being alive is nice,” I said. I wiggled my toes, shifted my hips, and moved all of my fingers. Everything was in place, still. My armour felt a little wet here and there, and sticky, but I could take care of that with some cleaning magic in no time. My bigger problem was Awen. “Hey, sweetie, you’re, uh, heavy?”Awen lifted her head and I had to hold back a wince. She could have used a spot of cleaning magic too. Her eyes were all puffy and her hair was a tangled mess. “Sorry,” she whispered.I pulled her back down into a big hug. “It’s okay. I’m fine. But I’m glad you were worried for me,” I said.Awen sniffed and tucked into the hug, but as with all things it had to end eventually.Amaryllis helped me to my feet and I took a moment to look around. There was a long red-brown stain running across the ground from the area with the glass spikes all the way to where I was standing now. It was... a lot of blood. Amaryllis was right with that.I licked my lips and turned away from that, instead focusing on my armour. There were some new tears in it, and a loonie-sized hole around the abdomen that let a bit of cold air in to tickle my tummy. I tsked and fired a strong burst of cleaning magic that turned my not-so-pretty-now dress back to its original sky blue.“We’re buying you heavier armour if you intend to go around injuring yourself like that again,” Amaryllis said.“Ah, I didn’t mean to,” I said. “I just got caught off guard.”She huffed a ‘I don’t like it’ huff. “The moment we’re out of this dungeon we’re starting you on a training regimen. You too Awen. I’ll whip both of you.”“You mean you’ll whip us into shape?”“I meant what I said,” the harpy declared.“R-right,” I said. I noticed a couple of notifications from Mister Menu waiting for my attention, so I let them open up to see what was going on.Congratulations! You have ruptured Glass Horror, level 7. Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Makeshift Weapons Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!“Oh hey, my weapon proficiency made it to rank D!” I said.“And it only cost you a few pints of blood,” Amaryllis said. She shook her head. “Awen, could you get the door open at the end? We should move on out of here.”“Awa, ye-yes,” Awen said. She rushed over to the last device in the zig-zagging room and, after setting her big spectacles onto her nose, started to fiddle with the rings controlling it.“You didn’t level up?” Amaryllis asked.“Nope,” I said. “It doesn’t... feel like I’m close yet either.”“Hmph,” Amaryllis said. “I think I’m nearly past my own. Just a little nudge and I should hit level ten.”“Cool!” I said. “I can’t wait to see how that works.”She rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing spectacular, I assure you.”“Awa, I got it!” Awen said. She had one hand up, holding her glasses in place as she waved towards the end of the final corridor.A door was recessed at the end, big and bulky, the kind of thing you couldn’t just blow past. Above it were three gems that began to glow as Awen used the machine to aim beams of light at them.The door shifted, a thin cloud of dust pouring off of it a moment before it started to swing ponderously open to reveal the ravine we had entered from.I stared, then tried to figure out a mental map of the dungeon. The room wasn’t nearly zig-zaggy enough for it to loop back around to the ravine. What’s more, we were lower down than the floor we had entered from.“Dungeons are weird,” I said.“You don’t know the half of it,” Amaryllis said.We all gathered our stuff in a hurry. I found my backpack, and Orange, around the last bend and my spade, which I noticed was a bit warped now, was laying off to one side as though forgotten. The poor thing was taking a beating.We moved onto the platform just beyond the door, then paused. “That was something,” I said.“It was,” Amaryllis agreed. “The next floor isn’t as physically taxing, according to what we read.”“I will not go there,” Moon Moon said.We all turned to the droll who stood behind us, mirror in hand. “That room is very bad. Lots of droll were lost there.”This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.“How come?” I asked.“There are drolls there who look like us, but are mean,” he said. Then he pointed to the mirror. “Like the one in this.”I stared at the mirror, then looked to Amaryllis for an explanation.“That was dropped by the glass horror. It’s nice enough. No enchantments that I’d find useful, Awen doesn’t want it, and you’d just use it as a poor weapon. So Moon Moon got it.”“But it’s just a mirror?” I asked.“Yes,” She said.Moon Moon turned it so that I was staring at myself, then he flipped it around and his hackles raised and he started growling. “The other droll is back.”“Maybe keeping you out of a place with mirror traps is for the best,” I said.Moon Moon set the mirror aside, scratched behind one ear, then nodded. “Yes yes. I will go wait outside for when you’re done?”Losing Moon Moon wasn’t nice. He was a good chunk of our fighting power, but if he didn’t want to go on, and if going on was a legitimate danger for him, I couldn’t exactly make him come with us.“That would be great,” I said. “Do drolls like hugs?” I asked.Moon Moon tilted his head to the side. “Yes?” he tried.I glomped him close. “Good! Then we’ll see you in a bit, okay?”He licked the side of my face which... was a little disgusting. “Yes! You are a very nice person. Please don’t die. You too, chicken girl and moist girl.”The air around Amaryllis sparked and Awen ‘awa’d most mightily as Moon Moon waved them off and scampered back into the tunnel.I waved at his departing back, then turned back towards the ravine. “Onwards, then!” I said.“I would have thought you would be a little hesitant, after what just happened to you,” Amaryllis said.I shrugged. “I don’t let little things like nearly dying get me down. And besides, I’m better now thanks to you, right? That spell you used in the end was awesome, by the way.”“It was taxing is what it was. If you weren’t such a moron I wouldn’t have needed to exhaust myself for you.”I laughed as I brought my spade down on the empty air before me until it clicked on the glass of the bridge.I bounced a few times on the glass to make sure it could take my weight, then with my spade ahead of me like a blind person’s walking stick, I guided my friends across the chasm.Some of the terror of walking over nothing across a hundred foot drop into churning waters had faded. Some. Awen walked by my side, and she very timidly poked my hand with hers until I held on as we crossed.The door for the second floor room was similar to the first, a large round slab of thick glass with a brass mechanism over it to keep it locked shut. We all sort of stood before it for a moment before I stepped up and spun the wheel. “This one is supposed to be mentally tricky, right?” I asked.“That’s what the compendium said,” Amaryllis replied. She stood with her dagger clutched by her side and her weight shifting from foot to foot.“Well, let’s see what we have in store.”The second floor was one long room. I could see a door at the far end just waiting to be opened, and stretching towards that door was a meter-wide stone bridge that spanned the entire distance from the entrance on.I stepped forwards and looked over the edge of the bridge and into a sea of glass spikes some dozen meters below. A fall down there would be fatal.“No monsters?” Amaryllis wondered aloud as she stepped in behind me. Awen was next, and she eyed the room with dread and suspicion.“None that I can see,” I said.Something clunked and we all froze.Then, all along the sides of the room, mirrors lowered themselves until they hung a meter or so off the side of the bridge, each one held up by a complex brass assembly. They thunked into place, one after another until the bridge was lined with mirrors every few steps all the way up to the door.“Okay,” I said. “It's a bit weird, but okay.”Amaryllis walked up slowly, then looked into the nearest mirror. I saw her eyes darting around, then widening. “Mom?” she whispered before taking a step towards the mirror, then another.I grabbed her collar and yoinked her back.She flailed, wings spiralling for a bit before she calmed down. “Damn,” she said.“You okay?”“I saw... nevermind. It showed me something I want. More than that, there’s got to be some sort of effect in place to pull you in. It’s subtle magic.” She huffed. “I hate metaphysical aspects.”“I’m going to look, pull me back if I try something stupid?”“If I had to pull you back everytime you did something stupid I would do nothing but drag you around all day,” she said.I laughed and walked to the middle of the bridge then stared into the mirror. It was me. Me with a cleaner, patched up dress, with Amaryllis and Awen and Orange. And I was happy, and with friends.I smiled at me in the mirror, and she smiled back. So I waved before looking back to my real friends. “Doesn't seem that bad,” I said.Amaryllis huffed. “It must require a certain level of intellect to work.”“Can, can I try?” Awen asked.“Sure,” I said. It was actually sort of fun.Awen stepped up next to me, then looked into the mirror. She gasped. The girl took one step forwards, and I grabbed her shoulder.“Awen?”She brushed me off and started walking. I tugged her back, and her polite shoves turned into desperate clawing in moments. “No! Let me go! I, you need to let me go!” she yelled as she spun and kicked and pushed towards the mirror.I tackled her to the ground, too close to the edge for my liking, and pinned her down. “No. Awen, Awen!” I snapped.The girl looked up to me, sobbing. “Let me go! Please!”
* * *
Chapter Eighty-Four — Psychohazard
Chapter Eighty-Four — Psychohazard “Hey, hey,” I said as I rubbed Awen’s back.Her fighting and crying had stopped after a bit, especially when Amaryllis and I had pulled her away from the edges of the bridge and brought her closer to the doors.Those mirrors back there were awful. Worse than the golems by far. All the golems wanted to do was murder us, not make my friends cry.“This floor’s a tricky one, Moon Moon was right,” Amaryllis said as she stared into the room. “You don’t seem to be affected as much. We could use you as a guide?”“Yeah,” I said. I kept rubbing Awen’s back. “Let’s give Awen a bit to compose herself first?”“I’m-I’m sorry,” Awen sniffled.“None of that,” I said. “It’s okay. Sometimes things scare some people more than others; we all want some things really badly. Everyone has a price, I guess.”Awen shuddered. “It was, it was just a reflection,” she said. “But it was real, and it was me, and my family, and I was, I was myself, and they were happy.”I hugged her closer. “It’s okay. Those mirrors are big fat meanies if all they do is hang things you really want before you.”Awen sank into the hug. “Thank you, Broccoli. Really. You’re... good. You’re very good, and I’m really happy you’re here.”I grinned. “I’m glad you’re here too,” I said before tightening my hug. “Do you think you’re ready to try again?”“Awa, I don’t know?”Amaryllis snorted. “Don’t be a fool. The risk isn’t worth it. You have some cloth in your backpack?”“I do,” I said. I hoped my confusion showed because I didn’t know what to think of her non-sequitur.“Then we’ll fashion her a blindfold. It’s a simple enough solution. You can lead her to the end.” Amaryllis gestured to the door opposite us.“And what about you?”“What about me?”“You almost walked off the edge there,” I said.She huffed and crossed her wings. “I suppose I could tether myself to you. As demeaning as it is.”We took a few minutes to get ready, but by the end all three of us were tied together with ropes around our waists. Awen held onto my hand too, just to help guide her, and she had a few pieces of cloth wrapped over her eyes.“Everyone ready?” I asked.“Let’s get it over with,” Amaryllis said.I started walking. The smart thing to do, of course, would have been to stare straight ahead, or maybe at the bridge, ignoring all the mirrors as we walked past them. But I never claimed to be a very smart bun.Orange padded out ahead of us, then paused to look at her reflection. I was worried for a moment, but then the cat started strutting even harder as if trying to show up her own reflection.The first mirror showed the same image of me with my friends, but it didn’t appeal as much as it had even minutes before. As it was, my friends were right next to me, literally tied to me. If that didn’t trump mere reflections of smiles then nothing would.The next mirror had me snorting as Sky Captain Bunch stood tall and proud on the deck of a big airship.I shook my head and moved on. Some of the mirrors had me pausing. Me in a pretty dress in a large ballroom, or making snow-angels in a mountain of gold. They were really trying to pin exactly what I wanted, but were missing the mark.Some, I had to admit, were just really neat. I looked kind of awesome wearing full-plate armour and carrying a sword as wide as I was; facing off against some dark monster while an orphanage’s worth of kids hid behind me.Then I found my feet slowing down as I saw a reflection of myself. Not me as I currently was, but me as an older woman. Still spry, still smiling despite wrinkled skin and eyes that had gone a little cloudy with age. I was sitting on a rocking chair, a blanket over my lap. Pictures sat on the tables around my chair, of me and my friends as adults, of me next to young people that had to be my children.I swallowed and pushed past. That was something I wanted one day, and it was something that would happen. I didn’t need to look into a mirror to know it.“Oh,” Amaryllis said.I looked to her, then to the mirror she was looking at.My face flamed.The Broccoli in the reflection was wearing... not much at all. And she was in the arms of a few young men and even some young women. Handsome people who were wearing oil and very tight britches and who all had very nice chins. They were dancing and flexing and-I tugged the cord around Amaryllis’ waist and pulled her past that particular mirror. We both stared at our blushing faces and agreed not to talk about it.I crossed mirrors of myself glowing in pride as I rubbed a swollen belly, and myself as a benevolent queen, and even myself hugging a handsome boy and, strangely enough, myself and Awen both in white dresses in front of an altar.It kind of became a blur, but the long path to the end of the floor came closer and closer.I still paused a bit at the mirror that showed me riding a dragon, not because I wanted to step off to my death, but because it was pretty darned cool to see. And then we were near the end.I thought we were home free when I felt Amaryllis’ cord tightening. “Huh?” I asked.She was staring at one of the mirrors, not with wanting but with confusion.I looked into it to see myself in dark plate armour, riding atop a skeletal dragon at the head of an army of slaves about to assault a city. “I... think that one’s defective,” I said.“Likewise,” Amaryllis said.Reaching the end was a little anticlimactic. Compared to the room with the golems and the light puzzle devices, it had been a walk in the park. Though, perhaps that was unfair. The dungeon-if it could be spoken of as something sentient-had been clever, trying to use our own psyches against us. Clever, and mean.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.I let go of Awen’s hand, wiggled mine a bit to get rid of some of the handholding claminess, then opened the door leading back into the ravine.“We’re free!” I said.“Awa, we made it?” Awen asked.I carefully pulled her blindfold off and let her see that we were out once more. “See,” I said.She beamed at me, then flushed and looked away. “I’m sorry that you had to do that,” She said. “If I was stronger, then you woul-oww!”I brought my hand up, still holding it flat above her head in the optimal pre-bonking position. “Don’t be so silly. We all have our weaknesses,” I said.“Awa, but, but you don’t have any,” she said.Amaryllis laughed. Not a ladylike giggle, or her pretty birdsong giggle, but a full on tummy laugh. “Oh world, that’s hilariously wrong on so many levels.”“Mean,” I said, but I couldn’t hold back a bit of a chuckle. It was hard not to laugh when a friend was laughing, and the weight of stress being lifted after crossing that last floor was such a relief that it only made it easier to laugh.Amaryllis wiped the back of a talon across her eyes. “We should keep moving. We still have a few more floors to get through.”“Right!” I said. “As soon as we’re all ready.”Awen nodded. “I, I’m ready,” she said.“Cool!” I said.We began our third trek across the ravine with a bit more confidence, though we still took our time and periodically tapped the glass bridge before us as we walked, just in case.As with the last two floors, the third was blocked off by a large round door with the same mechanisms as the last. “I can’t remember what this floor is supposed to be,” I admitted.“The boss floor, according to the compendium, but I believe that might have changed,” Amaryllis said. She pointed to the sides of the ravine. “There are two more bridges. That makes five.”“So five floors then?” I wondered.“Some dungeons have delve rooms that only work for the first few floors, there could be more.”I hummed. “I hope not. I wouldn’t want to sleep next to these bridges, or in the dungeon at all if I can avoid it.”“That’s more than fair,” Amaryllis said. “It’s only evening, we have a few hours to go before that becomes a worry, and even then, we can take a break after this floor to recuperate a little.”“Awesome. Let’s get this one over and done with then!” I said as I raised my shovel in preparation to tackle the floor in a jiffy.We opened the door, then stared into infinity.I saw myself reflected back on every surface and from nearly every angle. It took a moment to notice the way the floor curved around and split off in a few directions.“A mirror maze?” I wondered.“I’m unfamiliar with the term, what is it?” Amaryllis asked.I tried not to be too smug that I got to explain something for once. “It’s a maze, but the walls are all made of mirrors. It makes it harder to judge how far things are because you see a lot of reflections.”“Brilliant,” Amaryllis said. “I suppose turning right at every juncture won’t work.”“We could try turning left?” I said.She whapped me behind the head with her wing. “Moron.”“Awa, we could lay out some rope?” Awen said. “Or leave a mark on the glass?”“That’s an idea,” I said. “Anyone have a sharpie?”“A what?” Amaryllis asked. “No, nevermind. I have ink but I doubt it would stick to the mirrors. I think... one moment.”The harpy stepped up to the mirrored wall ahead of us and brought a talon up. Little electrical sparks snapped around her hand as she swiped it across the mirror. It left black marks on the glass.“That works,” I said. “So how do we actually navigate the maze?”“That’s the easy part,” Amaryllis said. “We ask the most valuable member of the team for help.” She gestured off to the side.We all turned to stare at Orange who paused in the act of cleaning herself to stare right back. Her little kitty expression seemed to say ‘why are you looking at me like that.’“You’re going to have to explain that one for me,” I said. “I love Orange, but she’s usually more keen on sleeping than doing work.”Orange nodded. It was probably just a strange tick though.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “She’s a spirit cat. Or a spirit kitten, as the case may be. You shouldn’t underestimate her abilities. She can phase through the walls, find the exit, then guide us to it. No one else in this party has such skill or talent, or even scratched the surface of what she can do. Truly she is the best of us.”Amaryllis was... laying it on sort of thick. But one look at how Orange had puffed up at the praise suggested that maybe it was on purpose. “I suppose,” I said. “She is a nice kitty. Do you think we could convince her to help with scritches?”Amaryllis scoffed. “Please, as if you know the first thing about caring for such a majestic creature. Look at your blunt little human fingers! You can’t scratch anything properly with those. I, on the other hand, have superior harpy breeding on my side. I’m certain a creature as glorious as Orange would sympathize with my cause.”Orange looked between the two of us then, quite obviously, rolled her little kitty eyes and trotted off into one of the mirror-lined corridors.“That worked?” I whispered over to Amaryllis.“Don’t ruin it,” she said. “Come on, let’s finish up this floor.”
* * *
Chapter Eighty-Five — Funhouse
Chapter Eighty-Five — Funhouse We reached another intersection and as we had done a dozen times already, we waited as Orange walked around in a circle, phased through the walls, then returned to lead us on a little more.All of this happened in near-silence. Only the occasional crackle of Amaryllis’ lightning marking the glass accompanied us.The problem wasn’t that we were tired, or that we had nothing to talk about. It was the constant walk down poorly lit corridors, expecting a trap at every step and finding none. All the while, a thousand reflections of ourselves moved around in the walls. The rooms we travelled through were sometimes so tight we had to line up in single file, and the air felt just a little too warm and stale.It was creepy as heck.When we reached the next intersection I huffed and crossed my arms. “I don’t like it,” I declared.“What don’t you like?” Amaryllis asked.“This... thisness. The silence and the gloominess. It’s not fun,” I said.“Did you come here just for fun?”I thought about that for a moment. “Mostly, yeah,” I said.“Idiot,” Amaryllis said. “We’re here because you got a quest. We really shouldn’t complain.”“I don’t see what’s so special about getting a quest.”“Awa,” Awen awa’d. “Quests are... big. They only happen when big things are happening in the world. They’re for very important people.”I snorted. “Well, that’s not quite right. I got a quest and I’m just me.”“I-I think you’re important,” Awen said.I bumped my shoulder against hers, but shook my head all the same. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll get through this silly maze one way or another.”I was about to start talking about brighter things-I still had plenty to learn about my friends. Were they dog or cat people? What were their favourite colours? Big chins, cleft chins? No chins?-when Amaryllis shushed us all with a talon raised to her lips.She crouched a little and I did the same, my spade coming up in a two handed grip ready to bonk anything that tried to cause trouble.Then Awen pointed and all of our gazes snapped to the side.Skittering along the glass, and reflected a thousand times over, was a beetle. A big one, the size of one of those novelty slippers that were shaped like bunnies.We all watched as it scuttled closer, but instead of heading for us it... moved towards the mark Amaryllis had left in the wall. Tiny beetle-y legs started scrubbing at the burnt patch, slowly cleaning it off and restoring the mirror’s shine.Our tension seeped away. “It’s undoing all of my work,” Amaryllis said.“The dungeon is rather clever.” I eyed the beetle. “Insight?”A Mirror Beetle, level 2.“Cute, I guess,” I said.We all agreed that sticking around wasn’t going to help any, so we started following Orange again. The kitty was looking increasingly impatient, and I suspect that she would demand many pats and scratches when this was all done.“This place goes on forever,” I complained a little later.“It will end eventually,” Amaryllis said. “Trust Orange.”“I do, I do,” I said. “But it’s kind of boring.” The worst part was that we were stuck shuffling along because moving too quickly, as we had discovered quite painfully, led us to run into the walls, bounce off their edges, and generally caused us to bump around like loons.I was about to complain some more when I saw someone in the reflections ahead of us.All three of us came to a stop as, from around the next corner came a short human girl. She was pretty, with bright blue eyes and long blonde hair that trailed out behind her. Her lips were set in a confident smile and she stood before us in the kind of adventuring outfit that I would expect a movie star to wear. That was, it revealed a lot of skin and probably wasn’t all that suitable to actual adventuring.“Awen?” I asked as I recognized the girl.“That’s me,” the girl that looked like Awen’s twin said. She grinned from ear to ear. “It’s been a bit, Broccoli. I thought I had lost you in these tunnels.”“Huh?” I said.“Awa, th-that’s not me,” Awen said.“Oh, you’re right about that,” New-Awen said. “You wish you were me, don’t you, little illusion.” She started walking... no, strutting towards us, hips swaying from side to side and legs moving as if she were wearing heels instead of sensible boots. “Ah, Broccoli. I’m so... excited to see you. But now that we’re reunited I have plans for you. First, I’m going to pin you down, then-” she reached out a hand for me.And that’s when Amaryllis shot her full of lightning.New-Awen poofed apart, leaving us all staring at where she had been.“That was enough of that,” Amaryllis said.“What was that?” I wondered.“Awa, she was... me?” She swallowed. “But, more pretty, more... more.”“That,” Amaryllis said. “Was an illusion. Don’t you have insight?”“Ah, yeah,” I said. “Sorry?”“Idiot. Use your skills. That was obviously some sort of trap. Not even a very effective one,” Amaryllis said.“H-how do we stop them?” Awen asked. She was looking around and into all the reflections around us with more than a little paranoia. “I, I don’t want just anything touching Broccoli.”Amaryllis huffed. “Magic. Point blank magic tends to disrupt simpler illusions quite well. It’s why that field of magic isn’t as popular as some. It’s hard to learn, taxing to use, and easy to counter.” She shrugged. “Great on unintelligent foes though, which means we’ll both have to keep an eye out in case Broccoli gets it in her head to befriend the illusion.”“R-right!” Awen said.“Hey!”Orange waved her tail from side to side impatiently, then turned and started stalking off. I had the impression that if we didn’t keep up, she would just head on out without us.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.We jogged after the kitty to keep up. For a bit, we merely navigated the maze with neither obstacle or challenge, but that soon came to an end as we walked into a four way intersection with a pillar in its centre. Leaning against it was Amaryllis.Not our Amaryllis. This one was smiling wide and bouncing on her toes. Her clothes were similar to the real Amaryllis, though in brighter colours. “Oh, oh, you’re here!” she said. “I’m so happy to see you!” she said.I blinked. “Uh, hi?” I said.Amaryllis. The real one, raised a cracking hand towards her strange doppelganger. “Let me put an end to that thing,” she said.“Aww, but she looks nice,” I said.“It’s an illusion, moron.”Fake-Amaryllis gasped. “Don’t call poor Broccoli a moron! She’s my friend! No one calls my friends bad things!”“I don’t know,” I said. “I think I like this one.”“It’s okay!” the doppelganger said. “We can be friends, even with you, lesser Amaryllis.”Amaryllis, the real one, filled her clone full of lightning. “No,” she said. “Being friends with Broccoli is taxing enough. I don’t need more.”“Awa,” Awen said.Amaryllis froze for a moment, then huffed. “You can be my friend too, Awen,” she said while slumping dejectedly.“I, I would g-gladly call you a friend, Aw-Awamaryllis.”I laughed as we moved deeper into the maze. I don’t know what kind of challenge the dopplegangers were supposed to pose, but so far they weren’t nearly as bad as the room with the mirrors had been.And then we turned a corner and my heart stopped.Broccoli Bunch was staring back at me.Not another reflection. This Broccoli was all wrong.She wore all black, a frilly, lacier version of my own dress. Her pale face was adorned with black mascara and an expression that was hovering somewhere between apathetic and depressed. Her shoulder slumped and she seemed to shrink in on herself. “Oh, great. Just... keep moving. It’s not like you’re worth fighting or anything.”“Um,” I began. “Hi?”“Urgh, how can you be so peppy,” the goth Broccoli asked. “Just leave me alone. Or better yet, finish me off. This life is too miserable to be worth living.” She pulled out a cigarette from her bandoleer, and lit it with a snap of her fingers. “Just look at you three. Clever Amaryllis, who isn’t half as clever as she wishes she were and only a quarter as clever as she thinks she is. Cute little Awen, with a mind filled with more delusions and taped-together dreams than any sense. You need to wake up and face reality girl.”“Hey,” I said. “That’s a little rude.”Gothccoli took a long draw from her cigarette. “Ah, look at me go. Standing up for the first people that call you friend. You’re so desperate it hurts. One day you’ll see that Dirt is just as cruel and uncaring as your home was. Then you’ll see.”“Wow,” Amaryllis said. “I thought this would be funny, but this is actually kind of frightening.”“Awa, that Broccoli doesn’t... Broccoli right.”Gothccoli leaned against one of the walls, then waved the comment off. “Go on. Keep on being a merry bunch of friends. See if I care.”I looked towards Amaryllis. “Can’t I hug her just a little? She really needs it.”Amaryllis rolled her eyes, and with a buzzing-crack, Gothccoli died an inglorious death.I was at least content in knowing that that was probably how she would have wanted to go.Orange returned, and it was a silent party that followed her to the end of the maze. The mirrors stopped, and we found ourselves in a little alcove with a door at the end.I opened it to reveal the now-familiar ravine. Stepping out onto it and taking a deep breath of fresh air was a balm to the soul after the stuffy confines of the maze.“Whaaa,” I said as I stretched out my arms and legs. “That was awful!”“Awa, it was a bit warm, but, um, there were no fights.”Amaryllis just huffed. “If it wasn’t for Orange we could have been in there for far, far longer.” She picked up the cat and cradled it in her arms. Orange didn’t make any noise, but I could still hear the faint rumble of her purring as it made Amaryllis’ coat vibrate. “We’re lucky that the party has such a good member in it.”“We are!” I said.What followed was a minute or two of everyone cooing over Orange who took it with stoic aplomb and returned a smug kitty smile.But all things had to end, and so we turned our attention to crossing the bridge towards the next floor.We crossed with growing confidence, the last room’s lack of difficulty spurring us on. That is, until we were nearly halfway down the bridge and Amaryllis’ feet slipped.She ‘eeped’ and did a bit of a dance to keep her balance. It ended with her wings spread out wide and her butt low to the ground as she crouched next to us.“Awa, I... that was scary.”I giggled as my heart calmed down a little. “You scared me too,” I said. “What happened?”Amaryllis scuffed her foot against the surface of the bridge with a growing frown, then leaned down to touch the surface. “There’s ice atop the glass,” she said, her voice calm and poised as if she hadn’t just done an interpretive version of the chicken dance.I ran my foot from side to side on the glass ahead, and true enough, there was a thin layer of ice atop the glass. The air was notably cooler too, but that was hard to tell with the way the wind twisted in the ravine. “We’ll have to be more careful,” I said. “Maybe we can smash it?”“And smash the bridge beneath?” Amaryllis asked.“Ah, right,” I said. “I just hope that this isn’t a hint of what is to come.”Unfortunately, it very much was.
Chapter Eighty-Six — Broccoli On Ice
Chapter Eighty-Six — Broccoli On Ice We slipped and slid all the way over to the door leading into the fourth floor, then, with just a bit of finagling to keep my balance, I opened the large door and helped Amaryllis and Awen slip into the room.Lights hanging from metallic gantries above illuminated a huge doughnut of a room. In its centre was a small stone platform with a large wheel on it, chains went from it to the ceiling, then all the way to the far end of the room where the exit was waiting in plain view.Other than that, the room was nearly featureless.That was, if you didn’t count the ten or so machines skating around the room.“Insight,” I said as one of them shot past. It looked like a metallic grasshopper. Six limbs that all ended with skates, the two back legs kicking out every so often to push the body along. There were big globular eyes atop it, and a hinged mouth with serrated teeth covered their lower face. The spines along the legs didn’t look like they were decorative either.A Brass Ice Slipper Golem, level 7.Amaryllis’ head twitched a few times. “All level seven,” she said. “And obviously not aggressive yet.”“Do you think they’ll let us just cross?” I wondered.Awen shook her head. “We need to turn that wheel in the middle. Awa, at least, I think.”So, we had a nice big circular room, the floor obviously very slick with a layer of ice over what was probably more glass. And ten machines that looked like they meant business. We had to get to the middle, then over to the door at the far end.“Do you guys know how to skate?” I asked the girls.“No,” Amaryllis said.“Awa, I don’t either,” Awen added.I hummed and added that to my tally of things to keep in mind. “Okay, I have a plan.”“Do tell.”I nodded. “Awen, you can ride me. I’ll skate over to the middle. Amaryllis, you’re able to sort of fly. So I’ll kick you up into the air and you glide over to the rock.”My harpy friend stared at me for a good long while. “Counterproposal. We leave this room and I throw you off the bridge.”“Rude,” I said.“Idiotic,” she shot back.“Awa, guys,” Awen said. “We, um, need to work together, right, Broccoli?”I dropped my glaring contest with Amaryllis to grin over to Awen. “You’re right. Do you think the bots over there will slide out of their lane? We could fight them one at a time until the room is cleared.”“Risky,” Amarilis said. “There are a lot more of them than there are of us.”“Darn it.” I watched as one of the nearly-robotic golems flew pasts with a scrape of steel on ice and a wash of cool air that sent tingles across my exposed skin. “We can’t just stand around and be this indecisive,” I said. “We need to try something.”“We’ll go after the one on the farthest edge of the circle,” Amaryllis said. “I can maybe take it out with one well-aimed shot.”“That’ll have to do,” I said.We gathered on the very edge of the little platform by the entrance. Amaryllis flicked her wrist so that her sneaky little dagger fell into her talons and she pointed it towards the golem that would pass the closest to us. It was still a ways away, taking nearly a minute or so to circle all the way around.Electrical crackles and little sparks started to snap off of Amaryllis’ blade and her feathery hair rose on end a little. I felt the hairs along my arms rising as she started to mutter something under her breath. “Close your eyes,” she said.I pinched my eyes shut and threw my hands over my ears just as Amaryllis fired.The air burst apart around us, and I had to take a step back and away from the pressure.When I opened my eyes again it was to see the bot she had targeted crashing to the ground, its legs a tangled mess. Sparks and a wash of ice flew around it as the golem ragdolled across the ice.“It’s dead,” Amaryllis said with a smug, self-satisfied smile. She blew the smoke off of her knife. “That was easy.”Then the door behind us slammed shut and all three of us jumped a few feet into the air.“Awa!” Awen said. “They’re transforming.”The bots shifted as they skated around, legs bunching up and the middle of their sleek bodies unfolding until a very crossbow like device was deployed from their backs.They continued skating by, but the crossbows turned to point at us.“Oh shoot,” I said.Nine twangs sounded out at the same time and we dove to the sides as a bunch of foot-long bolts flew past where we’d been standing.The crossbows made loud crunchy noises and I just knew they were reloading.I climbed onto my knees, then almost slipped back down as my arms and legs slid across the icy floor. Thankfully, I was Canadian, so I had a racial bonus to icy pantomimes and was able to get to my feet with a little effort.The bots flew past, their bows turning to follow me and my friends. “This is bad,” I said.“Awa, it is,” Awen said as she spun and windmilled her arms to stay upright.I looked off to the side, hoping to find Amaryllis on her feet. Instead I saw her climb up to standing, only to flop back down onto her bum, as her feet kicked out from under her. “Amaryllis?” I asked.“Shut up, I’ll figure it out!” she squawked.She wasn’t going to figure it out, I decided as I saw her skedaddle on the spot and face plant into the ice.“I’m going to distract them,” I said as I pulled my backpack off. “Awen, grab the rope in there. It might help.”If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.“G-got it!” Awen said as she crashed to her knees next to my backpack and started searching within.The bots had stopped making their very loud reloading noises, which could only mean that I was running out of time.Gritting my teeth and wishing for a pair of proper skates, I started to push myself forwards. My shoes were a little thin, and the cold was already seeping into my feet, but it was better to have cold toes than stand around and get a crossbow bolt through the tummy.I looked at the oncoming row of ice skating golems, bunched my legs under me, and jumped into the air just as they were coming around.Raising my spade in an icepick grip, I got ready to land on one of the bots in the middle of their little pack.Its crossbow snapped around and I squeaked as I brought the head of my spade around just in time for a bolt to punch into and through it.I was so busy staring wide-eyed at the glass-tipped bolt hovering just before my face that my landing atop the bot was a little... messy.I don’t know exactly what happened beyond my legs clattering about on the top of the Ice Slipper. There was screaming and scrambling for purchase, but I managed to grab the base of one of its legs and hang on for dear life. The golem started to skate off to the side, my weight enough to throw it off its original path.Grunting, I pulled myself up and came face to face with the crossbow.My heart stopped.Then I noticed that it hadn’t reloaded yet and I let out a very inappropriate giggle.The girls seemed okay, as far as I could tell. The other bots had mostly fired their bolts into the air to try and hit me, but I suppose I had been a small enough target-and a moving one at that-that they had all missed.“Sorry big guy,” I told the golem as I crouched precariously atop it and aimed my spade towards the nock between its head and neck. I brought my spade down and smashed its tip against the fine rods and pistons and spinning shafts within, then when that only bent the outermost one I hit them again.One of the golem’s eyes started twitching, so I knew I’d hit something important. But I didn’t have the strength to just end it in a blow.I huffed and tried to think of a solution as we whizzed around the circular arena, my hair whipping out behind me like a lame banner. Magic? It was worth the try.Standing a little taller, I aimed an open palm down towards the golem and fired a burst of cleaning magic into it. I saw the mana race across the golem’s surface and beneath the panels covering it. The oil on the gears I could see spinning away was wiped out, but that didn’t seem like a way to destroy the machine any time in the next few minutes. Most of my mana was wasted cleaning off the surface of the ice we passed.“Dang,” I said. That had been a waste.Then I saw one of the golems skate past the freshly cleaned ice. It had to scramble a little as it began to spin out, one side slipping by much faster than the other. It rightened itself just fine, but that gave me an idea.I jabbed my spade into the crossbow's mechanism. Something in there broke, and that was good enough for the moment.Hooking a leg around the crossbow’s protrusion, I let my upper body dangle down behind the golem, face only a handspan away from the ice.Reaching down, I tapped the ice with the tips of my fingers and shot out busts of cleaning mana to the left and right. It left streaks of sparkly-bright ice behind.It only took a moment before one of the golems flew past the now extra-slippery ice and veered wildly off-course.“Oh yeah,” I said with a growing grin as I repeated what I’d just done.A moment later my efforts were rewarded when two of the golems rammed into each other. Brass limbs tangled, skates were pulled off the ice and the machines flew off and into one of the walls of the arena with a crunch.Congratulations! You have caused two (2) Brass Ice Slipper Golem, level 7 to skate off the mortal coil!“W-well done!” Awen shouted from the sidelines. “I have the rope!”“Great! Tie it somewhere then give me the other end!” I said.The idea was to kludge together a tripwire to bring down the remaining golems. I eyed them, hoping to see them skate into a wall, but they were spacing themselves out a little more and were doing a better job of keeping steady as they skated along.There was a loud clack from the six golems that were left, and that I wasn’t riding on. Their crossbows were primed again. “Oh no,” I said as I saw a few of them turning towards the girls.Amaryllis was still on her bum, looking mightily angry about not being able to stand, and Awen was tying an end of my rope to the large wheeled handle of the door. They were both prone and out of cover.Pulling myself back, I straddled the golem I was riding on and started firing out balls of cleaning magic as hard and fast as I could.Having magic smack them in the face did exactly what I wanted and soon they were all aiming at me.“Uh. Oops.”I got to put my new dancing skill to the test and I ducked and weaved atop the already shifty surface of the golem I was riding. Somehow, all six bolts fired my way missed or bounced off the armour of the golem I stood on.“Broccoli!”Awen’s call had me looking to the side just in time to reach up and catch the rope she tossed out of the air.It was time to put an end to the chase!
* * *
Chapter Eighty-Seven -Trouble in Parad-ice!
Chapter Eighty-Seven -Trouble in Parad-ice! The moment the rope was in my hand I had to move. First I pulled myself back towards the centre of the golem’s back, then I looped the rope around one of the thick joints of the golem’s rear legs and tied a quick and very crude knot. I yanked the knot tight just as the rope went taut.Having the very fast platform I was sitting on come to a complete, and rather jarring, stop wasn’t the most fun.I was thrown off with a yelp only to crash on the icey floor and slide a dozen meters on my side. ”Ouch,” I said.I panted while staring up at the domed ceiling for a moment. Then the loud booming crash of golems running into each other had me craning my neck up to see what was going on.Three of the golems had tangled together and were sliding across the floor on a direct path for me.I ‘eeped’ and rolled onto my front, feet kicking out for purchase as I tried to get up.They were almost on me when my foot caught and I launched myself into the air and out of the golem’s path.This time my landing was a little better as I hopped onto the stone disk in the centre of the room and took a moment to stare at the carnage Awen and I had caused. Three of the golems had crashed together and were wriggling about, trying desperately to untangle their now-bent and battered limbs. A fourth had veered so badly off course that it was now embedded into the far wall, though it was still alive, judging by the twitches. Two of the golems remained intact, circling around the middle at a dizzying speed. I tried to think of a way to take them out, but nothing came to mind. Then I shrugged. I didn’t have any weapons on me except for a camp knife-my shovel was somewhere in the pile up off to the side-which meant that I only had myself to use.I ran along the middle of the disk, then jumped, timing it so that I landed atop the golem closest to the middle. The moment I was on it I slid one leg over its centre and rode it as if it was the strangest horse ever. Throwing my weight from one side to the other didn’t do much, and I didn’t think my magic could do anything to really hurt the golem. I could try filling it with fire, but my fire was always a little anemic and I didn’t think I could get it hot enough to ruin its mechanisms. “Broccoli!” Awen screamed.I looked up in time to see her spinning around on the ice, then she flung something up and high into the air. My eyes widened as I recognized her hammer.“Got it!” I screamed as I jumped up and caught the weapon out of the air. The extra weight made my landing back on the golem’s back a little precarious, but I managed to keep my feet. And then I had the perfect tool to fix my golem problem.“Hah!” I screamed as I brought Awen’s hammer down on the crossbow atop the golem’s back. It went ‘sproing’ and a few bits flew off in a most satisfactory way. The next blow hit one of the golem’s legs, bending it and throwing the golem to the side for a moment before it shifted its weight to the other legs. That gave me an idea.I searched around until I spotted the golem pile up way off on the other side of the rink. We were approaching it fast though.I whacked at the next leg on the golem’s side until it too tore off. We began to veer towards the pile, but the clever golem shifted its feet to change directions.“Oh no,” I said as I whacked its head as hard as I could.The golem went haywire.I jumped off its back and landed in a slippery crouch just before the golem ran into its buddies at full speed.Congratulations! You iced two (2) Brass Ice Slipper Golem, level 7!Just two? I looked over and counted. There was only one golem left moving, the rest were all in various states of... crashiness. Still, they were twitching and moving, so I supposed that they counted as alive.My attention snapped back around to the final golem. The bot shifted, planting all of its skates down at an angle so that it slid sideways and threw off a huge spray of ice. Then it clicked and clacked around, walking on the ice instead of skating in interminable circles as it had been.“That’s different,” I said as I weighed the hammer in my hand.The golem shifted, first becoming wider, then unfolding so that parts of its body slid into others. It reminded me of those toy cars that turned into neat robots, only this thing was turning from a neat robot into something else.I learned what when, with a final shift of its legs, the golem unfolded into a large brass scorpion, its huge tail tipped by three crossbows that were pointing right at me.“Oh shoot,” I said.The room went white. I felt the air warming up and my hair rising.When I blinked back the green tinge that covered my vision it was to find that the scorpion golem was sitting in a puddle of foot-deep water, parts of its brass frame still glowing white-red and other bits looked like they had fused together.The cords tied to its crossbows were on fire, and sparks were bursting out from the side of its head. It was, in short, dead.“Hah! I’m not useless!” Amaryllis cheered.Then her feet slipped out from under her and she crashed to the ice again.I lowered Awen’s hammer and looked about. “Well, I guess that’s it for this one.”Skating over to Awen, I handed her back her hammer with a big goofy grin. “Thanks, that was good thinking.” “Awa, th-thanks!” She said.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.“You should go finish off the rest of the golems, I think a few of them are still alive and I don’t know if you’ll get any experience if I kill them off myself.”“Th-that’s generous.”I snorted and shook my head. “We’re in this together, it’s just normal, yeah?”“R-right!” Awen said.She fumbled her way over to the golem pile off to the far end of the room, her gait a little slow and uncertain, and she almost fell once or twice, but she was getting the hang of it.I skated over to Amaryllis, stopping with a twist of my ankles just next to the harpy. “Do you want some tips?” I asked.Amaryllis looked up to me, crossed her wings over her chest, and pouted. “I don’t need help,” she said.“Of course not,” I said. She glared.I smiled.She glared harder. I pushed back, and-while cheating a little with some cleaning magic-started to skate around her with my hands behind my back. I even did a bit of a twirl.“I hate you,” she said. “And you are one clumsy duckling.”She shifted onto her tummy, pushed off the ice, and was halfway to standing when her arms shot out to either side and she planted into the ice.I bit my lip so hard I was almost bleeding. “Do you need help... mallard-y?” I said. Then a giggle escaped.“There’s no ice where I’m from,” Amaryllis said.“Don’t you live on a mountain?” I wondered.“We have fire mages,” she said.“Ah,” I said. “So your entire species has... trouble with ice?” I asked as I crouched down before her.She turned her head around and pinned me with a glare. “If I could stand up right now, I would slap you for that.”Giggling, I moved over to her side and helped her first to her knees, then onto her feet. “Wrap an arm around my neck,” I said.“Don’t tempt me,” she said, but still did as I asked and placed a wing over my shoulders. She almost slipped, but I managed to keep us standing.“Okay, so, first, don’t raise your feet off the ground. You move with your hips and with your knees. You need to squat a little.” I instructed. “I don’t actually want to learn how to skate,” she said.“Aww, but think how awesome you’ll look when you show up all of your harpy friends?” I asked. Amaryllis was silent for a bit. “So I need to keep my centre of balance lower?” she asked. We eventually made it to the disk in the centre of the room where Awen was waiting for us. She had a smile all ready and on full display when we arrived. “I figured out the door,” she said.“Neat!” I replied. “Amaryllis is only a few hours away from figuring out how to skate.” We had only almost-fallen three times.We stepped onto the platform, Amaryllis with a sigh of relief, and we all kind of just relaxed for a moment. I stretched a little, then told the girls that I would be back before I skated back to the entrance and got my backpack (and Orange).“Awa, I found your spade, and one of the golems dropped something,” Awen said as she removed her own backpack and pulled something out of it.An enchanted compound crossbow of rare quality, new. I grabbed the bow and turned it this way and that. There was a trigger beneath it, and an all-metal stock meant to be pressed against the shoulder. The forward section of the device had a pair of arms that folded back and swept along the sides of the bow. The mechanism to reload it looked a bit like a large crank built into one side, with plenty of little gears and pulleys. “Nice,” I said. “What does it do?” I handed it back to Awen who took it gingerly as if it was a baby rather than a weapon.Awen flipped it over and tapped the underside. “There are two compartments here. This one is for placing bolts that you can reload with the same crank that pulls back the string.” She pointed to an opening on the other side. “This one stores even more bolts, but it’s not connected to the rest. Ah, and there’s more string too. It’s enchanted for durability and there’s an enchantment that increases the draw weight that activates once it’s primed.”“Cool,” I said. “Well, have fun with it.”“Awa? Are you sure?” She asked. “It might be worth a lot.”I shrugged. “Then it’ll be worth a lot to you. I’m not the crossbow-y sort. And Amaryllis, ah, doesn't have fingers.”“I’m certain I could operate it given some practice,” Amaryllis said.“Th-then do you want it?” Awen asked. She was hugging the bow in a way that suggested she really didn’t want to give it away.“Awen, when I want something dead from far away, I’ll call down thunder and lightning on it. I don’t need a toy to do it. Keep it. It suits your specialty.”“Awa, thank you!” Awen said. Her smile made it all worth it. “Okay! Now we need to skate to the other end,” I said.“Oh please no.”“I could carry you?” I asked Amaryllis. “I could fry you,” she returned.We did eventually make it to the other side, and with minimal spills at that. The door was wide open, welcoming us onto the same sort of glass bridge we had been using all day. “Oof, that was a rough one,” I said.“It was,” Amaryllis agreed. “Let’s get this over with.”Crossing was easy as pie now that we were used to it, and the next door was just as simple as the ones before it.The room it opened onto was huge, with glass pillars rising a dozen meters into the air, and yet they only reached a quarter way up to the ceiling above. There was enough room under the glowing ceiling to fit a small village. And in the middle of it, sat a dragon.
* * *
Chapter Eighty-Eight — Wyvern
Chapter Eighty-Eight — Wyvern I had been looking forward to the day where I would get to meet a dragon since... about the time I discovered what dragons were, really.Big, magical fire-breathing creatures that were at once majestic and terrifying. There was so much lore and mysticism around them. I had spent countless hours imagining what it would be like to talk to a dragon, to ask them about their life story, to make friends with something that no one would ever dare bully, and that I could ride across the skies on.They were the stuff of legends, both good and bad.The dragon on the fifth floor of the Path of Broken Reflections wasn’t a creature of flesh and blood as I had imagined, but it was beautiful nonetheless.Five meters long-I guessed-from snout to tail, wings that had to be longer than its entire length, all made with delicate curves. It had a pair of horns wrapped around its head that ended in jaggedy points, and its teeth were as long as my hand.Its size alone was impressive, but this dragon was more than just big, it was like a mosaic of stained glass. I could see the ceiling on the dragon’s other side, warped and shifted by the glass that made up its body. Delicate filigree of spun glass circled out across its wings. It turned its head our way, pupils like golden mirrors locking onto us.It didn’t move though, probably because we had yet to enter the room proper.“Whoa,” I said. “So pretty.”“No,” Amaryllis said. “You can’t walk up to it and ask to be its friend.”“I’m sure it’s nice,” I said.She sighed. “It’s draconic. Their idea of being nice is eating you later instead of eating you now. Besides, if it eats you, Awen and I will have to face it alone. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”“Awa, I don’t want anyone eating Broccoli,” Awen said.“You’re not trying to guilt trip me into not trying to talk to the pretty glass dragon, right?”“I would never,” Amaryllis deadpanned. “Who am I to stand between you and an opportunity to be chewed up by a wyvern.”“Wyvern?” I asked.She gestured to the dragon. “No forelimbs, the wings are at its sides, not its back. That’s a wyvern. They’re the more... animalistic cousins of dragons. Not nearly as dangerous, but still a threat.”I scrunched up my face, but gave up with a nod. “Fine. I guess. No talking to the pretty wyvern.”“It’s a dungeon creature, and the boss at that. There’s no way you’ll be able to negotiate your way past it,” Amaryllis said. “Which means that we’ll have to fight and kill it. Which I’m not sure we’ll be able to do.”I looked from her to the dragon, then fired off an Insight at it.The Stained Wyvern of Mirrored Paths, Boss, level ??.“Oh, that’s not very good,” I said. “Can you see its level, Amaryllis?”The harpy shook her head. “No. But I can guess. Judging by the level of the dungeon it has to be between levels eleven and thirteen. Basically, you can expect it to have a second class waiting in the wings, probably far below ten, but still there.”“Ah,” I said. “That’s not good.”There were a few problems with trying to fight a dragon... or a wyvern. First, it was a giant predator bigger than a minivan and we were just three very small girls that would all neatly fit into its tummy once we’d been chewed a little.Second, it had wings, and could presumably fly.Third, it was a few levels above us. I couldn't say how much stronger I was now compared to when I arrived in this world. Or rather, I couldn’t say how much of an impact levelling up on its own had. Skills, on the other hand, were huge boosts to both my power and abilities. I bet that the Wyvern would have a whole bunch of really good skills.I winced. “I say we try. But we also prepare to run out of here if we need to.”Amaryllis tapped her talons against her wing, then nodded. “I agree. We’ll try a few things, then if those fail to work we leave and try something else.”“Awa, I’ll go where you do,” Awen said. “I, I can help from afar now, too.” She raised her crossbow. It only had a few bolts, but they might help.“You’re both able to fight at range, so maybe we focus on that?” I asked.“It can fly. That will neatly negate any advantages we get from our range,” Amaryllis said. “And as much confidence as I have in Awen, she is very new to that toy of hers. Hitting a moving target will be a challenge, and I doubt a couple of bolts will be enough to hurt that thing.”“We’ll try anyway,” I said. “Are we all ready?”Amaryllis sighed, then did a few quick stretches. “I suppose so.”“I’ll try my best!” Awen said.Grinning, I stepped into the arena with my friends at my back.The wyvern shifted on its huge haunches, its chest puffed up, and it let out an ear-piercing shriek.You have heard the screech of a fearsome creature! Your soul is shaken.I tripped, almost falling before I caught myself. Black spots flickered in the corners of my vision and I was worried I might faint for just a moment before it all receded. I looked up, saw that the wyvern was still in place, then turned to check on my friends.Amaryllis' wings were trembling, but she wore a fierce and downright mean scowl as she glared up at the Wyvern.Awen... didn’t look so good. She was on her knees, eyes wide, and her entire body was shaking just a little bit. “Awen!” I called.She gasped and snapped her attention around to me.Our eyes met, mine trying to be reassuring, hers filled with unshed tears. “You’ll be okay,” I said. “It’s just a scary monster. You’re better than it is.”The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.“Awa,” she said. She seemed at a loss for words, but still climbed back to her feet and hugged her crossbow close. “Right.”A huge ‘whap’ sound had me looking up in time to see the wyvern jumping off and taking to the air. It was truly majestic to see it wheel around above us, that is, until I remembered that we had to bring it down.The arena’s many pillars ranged in size from a meter wide to about twice as much, and each one was nearly three Broccolis tall. That means that the wyvern couldn’t just scoop down and snatch us off the ground, but it also limited our visibility a bit.“I’m going to try and draw it closer,” I said. “You guys try to knock it out of the sky.”“Got it,” Amaryllis said. Awen nodded behind her.I bunched up my legs, then kicked off to land atop one of the larger glass pillars. It took me a moment, searching the wide ceilinged arena, to spot the wyvern spinning past above. It’s brilliant glassy body flashed past walls made of shaped mirrors and warped glass, sending prismatic rainbows against every surface that it flew past.“Now, how am I going to get you down here?” I wondered. All I had was my spade-my backpack and Awen’s having been left by the entrance-and that wasn’t exactly handy for grabbing a wyvern’s attention.Maybe magic? Cleaning magic wouldn’t do much to a wyvern, I didn’t think, but it might be enough to grab its attention. I didn’t have anything to lose except a few points of mana.Shrugging, I aimed a hand up towards the wyvern, pinched my tongue to help with my aim, and fired off a tiny but fast ball of cleaning magic.I missed by about fifty meters.Cleaning magic was not hit-scan. I hadn’t accounted for the amount of lead time it would take to hit even a target as big as the wyvern.My second shot missed, and so did my third. Its circular path wasn’t perfectly circular as it avoided spikes and crenellations in the ceiling. I had to either aim a whole lot better or...Scrunching up my nose, I started to fire more and more cleaning balls, each one making my mana tick down by a point or two, but I was filling the air with glowing balls of mana. I hoped that the wyvern wasn’t into bullet hell games.A few of my spells hit with a series of dull plops, like dropping a pebble into a bathtub.The wyvern spun around in the air, golden eyes locking onto me.“Get ready!” I called out.I saw the girls moving over to stand next to a pillar, Amaryllis with her hands sparking and Awen with her crossbow raised.Wind battered around me as the wyvern came screaming down towards the pillar where I stood talons-first like a bird of prey. I stood my ground for just a little bit longer, coiled and ready to jump.Then lightning rammed into the wyvern’s side.I jumped, moving towards another pillar that I bounced off of on a path towards the far end of the room.The wyvern wheeled upwards with huge beats of its wings. There was a faintly darkened spot on its side, but little else to show that it had been hit.“Darn,” I said. Then the wyvern flipped around and came roaring down towards the girls. “Double darn!”The wyvern’s chest began to glow and it pulled its head back in a way that I was certain was very bad news. Then it opened its mouth wide and a cloud of sparkling dust poured out of it and splashed out towards the girls.Lightning filled the air between them, Amaryllis doing her best to stop the deluge, but while it pushed some of the particles back, plenty still landed around the girls.I took off at a hopping spring, bouncing from pillar to pillar while the wyvern flapped its wings and regained some altitude.The dust it had spat was glass. Fine particles of loose glass, like sand that choked the air. I began to fire my cleaning magic in little bursts as I jumped down into the cloud.Finding the girls was easy. They had huddled together under Awen’s long jacket, using it as a barrier of sorts. Seeing them coughing up blood and wheezing was a lot harder. “Are you okay?” I asked rather stupidly as I moved to their side. They were both covered in multicoloured, sparkling dust. A fresh burst of cleaning magic took care of some of that, but I was starting to run low on mana already.Amaryllis tried to say something, but just choked and wheezed instead. She tapped her bandoleer.I caught on and reached over to yank a pair of potions from her chest. Popping the cork off of one, I pressed it to her lips, then I did the same for Awen with the second potion.It took a few fretful seconds, but my friends were soon breathing easier. “That was disgusting,” Amaryllis said.“Awa,” Awen agreed.“Good thinking with the coat,” Amaryllis said. She shook her wings and a few strands of glass tinkled out. “That was... unfortunate.”“I-I think I hit it with a bolt,” Awen said.I tried a smile, then looked up as a shadow flitted past. “That didn’t quite work as planned,” I said.“We noticed.”“Right. One more thing, then we leave and regroup, okay?” I said. “Are you both up for it?”“I won’t let one little setback hold me down,” Amaryllis said as she stood taller and shifted her wings.“Awa, I, I can try!”Grinning, I told the girls the bare bones of my plan, then I jumped onto the top of the nearest pillar. “Alright, buster, it’s time to... get...”My voice trailed off as I stared around and at the three wyverns flying just over the pillars all around us.“Oh, shoot,” I said.
* * *
Chapter Eighty-Nine — Down to Earth
Chapter Eighty-Nine — Down to Earth Three bursts of Insight did... nothing to help. There were still three wyverns hovering just above the pillars filling the room. Where had the other two come from?It was only when I ducked to avoid one of them that I noticed the black mark on its side. A mark left when Amaryllis blasted the original Wyvern. A mark that I quickly noticed on the other two dragon-like beasties. “Ah,” I said. An illusion then? Or a power that allowed the wyvern to split apart into copies of itself? I was thinking the former, we had seen some illusion stuff in this dungeon already, it made sense that the boss would have something similar going for it.Which meant that we had to pick out the real wyvern and bring it down. Somehow. I crouched down, trying to make myself unnoticeable as I looked from one wyvern to the next. I shifted my grip on my spade, hands sweaty and nervous. The three all looked the same, that is, until one of the wyverns shifted and started casually flying my way and I noticed something sticking out of its chest.One of Awen’s crossbow bolts. The other two didn’t have the same mark on them.“Gotcha,” I said before jumping up and above the wyvern.The monster shifted, its mouth opening wide even as it turned in mid air to get a better angle to chomp me with. Eyes widening, I watched twin rows of serrated glass teeth closing down around me.There was no changing direction in mid-air. I brought my spade around, placing it vertically in the wyvern’s mouth just as it started to close its mouth. The wood strained, and I heard a very distressing crack. I was a little busy placing my feet on either side of the wyvern’s mouth to really wince at the damage my trusty spade was taking.My hand shot out and I grabbed the wyvern’s nostril and used it to pull myself up and out of its mouth.The moment I was out of the monster’s jaws, and clamped around its face like a very rude limpet, there was a loud crunch.I whipped my head around as I saw the head of my spade, with about half a foot of torn handle, fly past. My spade! “Rude!” I declared as I tightened my grip on the wyvern’s face. To be fair, riding someone’s face was probably a little rude on my part too, but I think a tiny bit of hypocrisy might be allowable in my situation. I balled my hand into a fist and punched the wyvern in the eye. Its head shifted, almost throwing me off as it shut its golden eye and rumbled deep in its throat. It took in a deep breath, its chest expanding and beginning to glow in a way that I did not like. “Oh no, you won’t,” I said. For all my threats though, there wasn’t too much I could actually do. So I decided to do my best. Pulling my knife out of my bandoleer, I held it out and jabbed it into the wyvern’s eye. The steel edge clinked off the glass eye, but it still left a crack and the wyvern roared in displeasure. Then it rolled over and I squeaked as the world spun around. We were heading straight at one of the larger pillars. I put two and two together and came to a result that I didn’t like, not one bit.I screamed as the wyvern lowered its head and prepared to headbutt the pillar Bun-first. My foot caught on one of the scally ridges on its face, but just as I tried to jump it slipped on the glassy surface.Terror made my breath catch. If I couldn’t place my feet, then I couldn’t jump. You needed legs to jump.Did I need legs to jump?It was with a startled squeak that I launched myself off of the wyvern’s face with a shove of my arms that tossed me a dozen feet into the air. Below me, the dragon-like beastie crashed into the pillar with a sound like a bull charging a china shop.I twisted in midair like a very confused cat to land on my feet with a scuff of shoes on rough ground. I was panting, heart beating in my throat as I watched the wyvern slam into the ground just a few meters away. It had a few cracks running across its snout and sternum. The beastie had done more damage to itself than we had managed so far.It turned golden eyes my way, eyes that were not pleased.I ‘eeped’ and rolled behind a pillar as its head snapped out and tried to chomp on me. I had just gotten to my feet when the wyvern came around the corner, walking on the middle joints of its huge wings like some sort of nightmare pterodactyl.The wyvern stomped after me, and like a mouse with a cat on her tail, I ran and weaved into the pillars to try and find some sort of safety.That’s when I ran past the girls. “Run!” I yelled.Awen started running right away with her backpack bouncing along behind her, but Amaryllis took a moment to blink at me, then looked towards the Wyvern. She said some very rude and not-kid-friendly words as she took off.“Split at the next junction,” I said.”Hit it from the sides. Get the wings!” I panted between steps.“Awa!” Awen agreed. “Idiot!” Amaryllis also agreed.They split off to either side when we passed between two pillars and I kept moving in a straight line, wyvern snapping at my backside.Amaryllis fired off a spell with a whip-crack and a burst of brilliant light, and I heard the ‘twang’ of Awen’s crossbow going off. The Wyvern roared.You have heard the screech of a fearsome creature! Your soul is shaken.My feet both independently decided to go in different directions for a moment and I flopped onto the ground with an ungainly thump. I shook my head, then looked over my shoulder to see glinting glass teeth rushing towards my head.Rolling to the side, I avoided becoming half a Bun by a hair. The wyvern didn’t appreciate missing out on its lunch and tried to stomp me down with a wing.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.I rolled the other way. My position wasn’t exactly sustainable, and it came to a head when the wyvern snapped at me again. It missed, but just barely. Still, its head was now really close.Coiling up my legs to my chest, I kicked out as hard as I could and winced as a painful thud ran through my legs. The wyvern’s head snapped up.Taking my chance, I rolled backward and got onto the balls of my feet, then shot straight up and into the air. I came down hard atop the beastie’s noggin.Its head crashed down into the ground with a crunch.And just like that, I was nearly spent. I landed awkwardly to the side and stumbled over towards the nearest pillar in order to hide.The wyvern was having none of that. It turned its head my way, opened its mouth, and from its roiling gut came a blast of dusty glass.I covered my eyes, cleaning magic blasting out towards the breathy attack to push it back. It worked, but wasn’t sustainable. Mana 48/115The wyvern paused for just a moment. I thought I was safe, then its attack redoubled and it started to stomp its way closer to me faster than I could backpedal.Mana 37/115My back bumped into one of the pillars.Mana 24/115My cleaning magic wasn’t catching all of the dusty glass, some of it scoured across my feet or flowed around after hitting the pillar behind me.Mana 12/115I took a deep breath and got ready to bounce away as soon as my faltering defences fell.A beam of pure electrical energy rammed the wyvern in the joint between its body and wings. Glass turned red. The wing folded in on itself and the boss crashed to the ground.Then a blue blur shot out from behind the pillar. “Don’t, don’t hurt my Broccoli!” Awen screamed as she practically flew at the wyvern’s head. She had something long and brown in one hand that she placed right between the wyvern’s eyes, then her hammer came racing down.A dull snap echoed out across the room. Cracks racked out from the wyvern’s forehead.Its glowing eyes glared, then turned dull and whatever spark of magic lit them from within faded.The wyvern’s legs collapsed lifelessly, bringing the entire boss down with a thump that made the ground tremble.I panted, arms slowly lowering from where I had held them up while casting. Awen was no better, her breathing coming in sharp inhales and exhales.I laughed, relief warring with the dregs of adrenaline. I wanted to laugh for the rest of my life, or at least the evening. I also had a terrible urge to hug Awen, so I ambled over to her on shaky legs. “It’s dead?” I asked.The wyvern’s unmoving head seemed to suggest as much, so did the wooden Wand of Cure Hysteria jutting out of its forehead.Ding! Ding! Ding! Congratulations, you have defeated Dungeon Boss: The Stained Wyvern of Mirrored Paths level 11! For defeating an enemy above your level, bonus exp is gained! For defeating a Dungeon boss, bonus exp is gained! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Haha! We did it!” “Awa,” Awen said.I glomped her. “You did it! I thought I was a goner there!”“Awa!” Awen said. She blinked at me, then carefully wrapped her arms around mine and placed her head in the crook of my neck. The poor thing, she must have been terrified at the end there, so I hugged her extra hard to make up for it. Dungeon Cleared! All adversaries with The Path of Endless Reflections Defeated.All Bosses DefeatedBroccoli Bunch, Cinnamon bun, level 8 is awarded the Glass Cannon class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Glass Cannon?Replacing your current class will reset your level 0.I laughed and squeezed Awen one last time before stepping back.Amaryllis walked over to us just as the Wyvern started to break apart and fade away. Her eyes were glossed over a little. “Well, we survived,” she said. “The experience hasn’t... ah, there we are.”Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 9!Stamina +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Oh! I levelled up!” I said.Amaryllis nodded, then she gave us a brilliant smile. “As did I.”“Awa, me, me too. I’m... level ten. Whaa, I didn’t think I would reach this level for a long time.” She stared down at her hands, then a magnificent smile spread across her lips. A smile so big and wide it made her cheeks pinch and her eyes crinkle at the corners. “Thank you, Broccoli!” she said before crashing into me for a big hug.“Hey, no problem!” I said. “You saved my behind back there, you know!”Awen pulled her head back a little, her arms still wrapped around mine. “S-still, th-thank you!” she said. Then she pecked me on the cheek before pulling back with a red-faced ‘awa.’I smiled right back. “Cool! Does this mean you both have class evolutions?” I asked.“I suppose it does,” Amaryllis said. Her eyes were unfocused as she stared at what was probably her own version of Mister Menu. “I have some of the standard evolutionary paths available. Ah, and I’ve unlocked more general skill slots, of course.”“Sweet! Do you know what you’ll take?” I wondered. I looked around for a place to sit down and relax a little, now that the fight was over. “I thought I did, but some of these options are... intriguing. We’ll have to see. I’m not in any hurry.”“Ah, I... I have one that’s strange,” Awen said. “I... think I might take it.”“I’m sure you’ll pick the right thing,” I said as I basked in the combined glow of levelling up, of beating a tough fight, and of having awesome friends. Today was a good day.
* * *
Chapter Ninety — Cleanup
Chapter Ninety — Cleanup The girls were busy staring off into empty air with vacant expressions. I wondered if I looked as dumb while looking at Mister Menu. I would ask, but Amaryllis would just tell me that I looked dumb regardless, and Awen was too sweet to tell the truth if it might hurt my feelings. “I’m gonna look for my stuff,” I said. I had to find my backpack, what was left of my spade, and my knife. The latter had disappeared at some point during the fight with the wyvern but I couldn’t remember when. Walking around the pillars was a little strange when there wasn’t a big dragon-like monster waiting to chow on me. It gave me more time to stare at all the pretty ways the light bounced off of the glass and sent little rainbows all over.I found my knife first. There was a chip in the blade, but it was probably still serviceable. Then I found my spade.Sighing, I picked up the bent metal head by the half-dozen centimeters of handle still stuck to it. It was rather finished. I rubbed a thumb over the J embossed on its surface. It had served me well. Maybe I could get someone to repair it? Then I wandered over to the entrance and found my backpack unceremoniously dumped to the side. Orange was guarding it. Or maybe she was using it as a pillow. It was hard to tell when the spirit cat was slumped on her side over the sack, her sides moving up and down with gentle breathing.I stared at her for a moment. Had she gotten bigger?“Heya Orange,” I said as I wrapped my hands around her waist and lifted her up. Her body slinked down like the liquid it was. “You are getting bigger!” I declared.Orange stared at me, her little legs sticking out ahead of her like someone who had just watched Thriller and was doing the zombie dance. Or maybe someone that wanted a hug? I pressed her against my chest until she started clawing and squirming. Setting the kitty down with a giggle, I picked up my backpack, tossed my spade into it, then shrugged it on. “Let’s go see the others,” I said. I skipped back in time to find Amaryllis staring at her talons which were sparking with magic. She had a strange look on her face, a cross between curiosity and smugness. “Ah, you’re back,” she said.Awen smiled wide at me. “I have a new class!” she said. “T-two of them.”“Two of them?” I wondered.She nodded. “I reached level ten. Um. I decided to take the Glass Cannon class as my second. It seems nice!” “Oh,” I said. “I can have that one too, right?” I asked.Amaryllis nodded. “It should be available for you once you hit your tenth level, yes. I’m going to wait until we reach the Palace of Strings. Glass Cannon doesn’t seem like a class that will mesh well with my current, evolved class.” “Oh, so what are your new classes?” I asked. It was really easy to get swept up in the excitement. It was like learning that your friends had gotten cool new toys. “Awa, I’m a Wyrmgineer now,” Awen said with obvious pride. “I, I never heard of the class, but it’s an offshoot of Mechanic. I... the description for it is not very precise, but it sounds strong.”“Anything with something draconic in its title will probably be formidable,” Amaryllis said. “Did it change any of your skills?”I blinked. “Skills change when your class evolves?”Amaryllis nodded. “Sometimes.”“Awa, my Book Smart skill changed to Bookwyrm. Ah, the description used to be about it helping me read and remember things I read, but now it, ah, lets me sniff out the value of books? And... If I sleep on a pile of books I absorb some of the knowledge?” Amaryllis tilted her head to the side. “I’ll admit, I’m not sure if that’s an improvement or not.”Awen shrugged.“I have some books you can, ah, sleep on,” I said. That was a bit strange, but maybe it would come in handy? “What about you, Amaryllis?”Amaryllis’ chest puffed out and she placed her hands on her hips. “I’ve unlocked the exceptionally rare Thundere class.”My teeth clacked as I shut my mouth, tightened my jaw, and tried hard not to laugh.I suspect my eyes betrayed me because Amaryllis glared right back at me. “What are you smiling about, you idiot?”A snort escaped and I slapped a hand over my mouth to keep it in. “Nothing!” I lied. “You moron. You have no idea how rare that class is. It lets me branch out into more offensive spells. My Thunder Clap skill, which was mostly a sound based distraction and stun, has turned to Thunder Slap, and Electro Stimulus has turned to Electro-Couragement.”I giggled. Amaryllis snapped her talons together and a tiny spark zapped me in the forehead.“Oww!” I complained as I rubbed the spot in the middle of my head she had buzzed. It didn’t hurt much more than licking a battery did, but it was still very rude.“Serves you right for being such a fool,” Amaryllis said. She brushed her wings off and nodded to herself. “If we’re all done looking at our numbers going up, I think we should get going.”I pouted, but she was essentially right. “Yeah. Did the Wyvern drop any loot?” “Awa, I didn’t look,” Awen said.We started heading towards the middle of the room, taking our time as we went to scour the ground for anything valuable. Personally I was looking for a replacement to my spade. Instead, we found a pair of goggles.Awen held them up by their leather straps and looked into the mirrored glass eyepieces. Enchanted Prismatic Goggles of Magic Seeing, of rare quality, new.“Now those are nice,” Amaryllis said as she gestured for the goggles. Awen handed them over without protest. The harpy slid them on and looked around, then she frowned a bit before a grin crossed her features. “Ah, you need to push mana into them. It’s not a passive enchantment.”“What’s it do?” I asked.She took them off and handed them over instead of answering.Holding the goggles to my face, I stared at... a completely normal world. There wasn’t any difference from looking around normally. Then I pushed a bit of mana into the goggles. Amaryllis and Awen both started glowing, most of all, some of their equipment started to glow. Amaryllis’ ring and dagger especially, each with a swirl of different colours I couldn’t guess at. This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.Pushing some mana into my hand made it glow too, not that it didn’t already glow a bit.“Neat,” I said. “I guess this one is for Amaryllis, she’s our caster.”“I wouldn’t say no to it,” Amaryllis said.“Awa, I got a crossbow and a knife. I think Amaryllis should have it too.”My harpy friend slid the goggles on, then let them fall to rest around her neck. “Well, let’s get out of this place.”I nodded, then remembered why we were here in the first place. Pruning the EvilYou have heard of the location of a corrupted dungeon. Explore it, find any signs of great Evil. Eradicate them! We hadn’t seen any signs of evil, great or otherwise. But, if this dungeon was anything like the Wonderland dungeon in Threewells, then there was a good chance that the trouble would be centred around the dungeon’s core. “We need to find the access thing to the dungeon core,” I said.Amaryllis stopped and eyed me. “Broccoli, it’s... kind of a faux-pas to enter a dungeon’s core room.”I shrugged. “It’s for my quest? And besides, dungeons are made by the world, right?”“That’s the prevailing theory, yes.”“And the world gave me a quest to check out this dungeon, yeah?”She nodded. “That’s fair, I suppose.”Grinning, I skipped ahead of her and made for the middle of the boss room. Just as in the Wonderland dungeon, there was a circle of pillars here, each one equidistant with an open space in the centre. Two of the pillars had portals floating within them. One showed a hazy image of the outside world. I could see Moon Moon sprawled out on a rock, fast asleep with one leg twitching as if he was chasing something in his dreams. The moon’s light bathed the glassy valley in soft blues and pale whites.The other portal...My heart sank.There was the familiar egg-shaped core, all shiny and glowy atop a glassy plinth. The core room was brightly lit, and quite pretty, with mirrored walls and lacy bits of glass running across the ground. But there were cracks in those walls, the ceiling was warped, and worst of all, a long, tentacle-like root was sticking out of the wall and wrapped around the core.“Oh no,” I said. Quest Update!Pruning the EvilYou have found an Evil Root. Destroy it to Cleanse the Land!“That’s strange,” Amaryllis said.I swallowed. “It’s an Evil Root. My quest updated. It wants me to destroy it.”Amaryllis stared at me. “Seriously? It’s right next to the core.”“I know,” I said. “Cleaning magic might work on it?” She frowned. “As long as you don’t so much as scratch the core, I don’t suppose it’s that bad,” she said.I nodded. “I guess we can try.” I took off my backpack and handed it to Awen who hugged it close. “Watch over my stuff, please?” I asked before stepping up to the portal.As with the last one, walking through it was as easy as... well, walking through a normal doorway. If it was some sort of teleportation, then it was really smooth.The core room was suffused with magic. I could feel it in the air, taste it, almost. My affinity for magic had definitely improved since the last time I’d been in a room like that. The core itself was bright and shiny and it felt... nice? No, not nice. I had the impression that it was pushing off this sense of calm serenity, almost a physical emotion that tinged the air like a perfume. It was a bit strange, but not unpleasant. The root, on the other hand, looked wrong. There was an indescribable sense that it didn’t belong, that it was in a place it shouldn’t be. The dimensions of it were also... off. One moment it seemed like the sort of thin root that occasionally poked out of the ground, the next it looked as if there was so much weight to it, that it should have been taking up more room than was available in the room. It made my tummy queasy.I reached out to the root and carefully placed a hand against it. I had a lot more ranks to my cleaning magic now, and I was stronger besides. I fired a small burst of cleaning magic into the root. Nothing happened. That was to be expected. My next hit was stronger still. Nothing again.Frowning, I looked at my stats in a hurry.Mana 272/115I focused on my cleaning skill and tried to imagine a sort of... blade of cleaning magic, something that could cut through the root’s defences. More and more mana poured into a powerful cleaning spell until I was almost running out. I fired. A burst of brilliant light shot out of my hand and rammed into the root hard enough to make the room tremble.Nothing.“Dang it!” Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cleaning skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank A Costs 3 Class Skill Points!“Oh,” I said.Well, Cleaning had been pretty close to ranking up for a while. And I had been saving up my skill points for just that occasion. CleaningRank A -00%The ability to Clean. You are exceptionally good at tidying up and washing off. Effectiveness of cleaning is marginally increased. You may now use mana to clean things you see. You are so clean that the world around you shifts to match your cleanliness.I paused for a moment, wondering what that last bit meant. Did I have an aura of clean now? That was neat. Pun marginally intended.“How is it going?” Amaryllis asked as she stepped into the room. Her voice was pitched low and almost... reverent. It was very much unlike her self-assured, snobby drawl. Awen followed after her, still hugging my pack close to her chest. She stared around with open-mouth-wonder.“It’s... going,” I said. “I want to try Clean again. Then maybe we can try cutting at this thing with a knife or something.”Amaryllis eyed the root with lips that curled up. “That won’t work. The knife idea. That thing, whatever it is, is a mana construct of some sort. It’s going to be fairly resistant to physical blows. More so than magic.”I hummed. “Well, we can try anyway.”Raising my hand up, I prepared to give it my all.
* * *
Chapter Ninety-One — Core Values
Chapter Ninety-One — Core Values I sighed and lowered my hand.Cleaning magic wasn’t cutting it. Amaryllis’ lightning wasn’t doing anything, and ever Awen’s attempt to plant a bolt into the root did nothing more than make us duck as the shot went wild and flew over our heads. Then the thing I was afraid would happen happened.Quest Update!You have found the Evil Root. You are too weak to Destroy the Evil Root. Break the Core and let the Root Starve. I eyed the prompt, bit my lip, then sighed. “The quest changed,” I said.Amaryllis looked at me. “For the better?” I shook my head.“Let’s get out of this room if we’re going to talk. Too much mana in your system isn’t good for your health.”“Alright,” I said before the three of us slipped out of the dungeon’s core room. My mana was still really, really high, so I fired off a burst of cleaning magic to lower it a bit. I could feel my new Rank A cleaning magic’s aura-like ability flick on like a sort of switch. It probably took some mana to maintain, but it was so little that it was almost unnoticeable. I shook my head and refocused. I was tired. The darkened skies visible in the portal leading outside said that we were deep into the night already. Bedtime had passed a bit ago and the post-victory adrenaline rush had passed. “My quest updated,” I said. “It wants us to starve the root out.”Amaryllis eyed me. “How?” she asked. I had the impression she already knew. “Break the core,” I said.Awen gasped, hands flying to cover her mouth and her head shaking. “Awa, we, we can’t do that.”Amaryllis’ reply was calmer, but no less negative. “She’s right. Breaking a core is... it’s not something you do, Broccoli.”I shrugged. “That’s what the quest’s asking,” I said.Amaryllis shifted, crossed her arms, then uncrossed them. I didn’t like how uncomfortable my usually fiery friend looked. “I know that where you’re from there probably aren’t any quests. And no dungeons, for that matter, so perhaps you’re missing out on the cultural context here. But to destroy a dungeon’s core, that’s sacrilege. Nearly every religion across every country has the destruction of a core as one of the great marks of great cruelty. All of the greatest villains in the stories are core breakers. You can’t just...” she waved her wings around, trying to express something that her words couldn’t.“Awa, what do you mean about there not being dungeons where Broccoli is from?” Awen asked.Amaryllis winced. She was the sort that wanted that kind of knowledge to stay hidden. Fortunately, I didn’t mind if my friends knew more about me. “I’m a riftwalker,” I said to Awen.Awen’s eyes widened and her breath caught. “Awa, really?” “Yup! I’ve only been here, on Dirt, for a bit less than a month?” I tried to count back the days. “Two weeks? Not quite.” “And, and you’re already so strong,” Awen said. “You really are incredible.”“Ah,” I said before waving the comment off. “Stop that, you’ll make me blush. And I’m not incredible, I’m just Broccoli.”“I, yes, of course,” Awen said.Amaryllis started walking back and forth. “I... I don’t know what to think here,” she said.Scoffing, I waved it off. “That’s easy. If I have to make the choice between my friends and a quest, then I’ll always pick my friends.”Quest Update!You have found the Evil Root. You are too weak to Destroy the Evil Root. Break the Core and let the Root Starve. I brought my head back as Miss Menu showed up right in my face. “Uh,” I said before re-reading the quest. It hadn’t changed at all. “The quest updated without changing.”“A sort of reminder?” Amaryllis wondered.I waved off the prompt. “Doesn’t matter. Breaking the core would upset you, so I’m not gonna do it. I think the world can find someone else, right?”Quest Update!You have found the Evil Root. It is a source of great and terrible Evil! You are too weak to Destroy the Evil Root. Break the Core and let the Root Starve. Evil and Terrible things will happen in Evil and Terrible ways if the root remains active!I read the new prompt. “Uh. Now the quest is really insistent that we break the core.”I didn’t like the conflicting expressions on Amaryllis’ face. She wasn’t exactly a straight-laced kind of birdgirl, but she did seem really excited, in her own way, about the quest. Not completing it must have bugged her.“Wh-what do you think, Broccoli?” Awen asked.“I think that the menu giving me the quest really doesn’t get why I can’t break the root.”Quest Update!Destroy the Root or all life on Dirt is forfeit.I squinted at the menu. “I don’t want to say I don’t believe you, Miss Menu, but I have the impression you’re exaggerating a little.”Quest Update!Destroy the Root or a statistically significant proportion of all life on Dirt is forfeit.I crossed my arms. “Well, I guess I could do that, but only if you, uh, offer some concessions. I was a teensy bit miffed last time when I didn’t even get a reward for the quest.”“Have you finally lost your mind?” Amaryllis asked. “Or was it the over exposure to mana that finally drove you off the edge?”“I’m talking to the quest box... menu thing.”Amaryllis and Awen looked at each other. “Okay,” Amaryllis said. I crossed my arms harder. “It’s not being terribly helpful.”Quest Update!Destroy the Root of Evil and obtain one (1x) box of varied loot.“Nu-huh,” I said. “I’m not into surprise mechanics like that.” The menu shook and shivered in the air. I think it might have been feeling the menu equivalent of frustration. “You know, if my friends had the quest too, I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t be a problem to begin with,” I said.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.The quest prompt poofed away. “Huh. I think I angered Miss Menu,” I said.“You angered the world,” Amaryllis said. “And here I thought you were more likely to convince it to be your best friend.”“I was getting to that,” I said. “I’ve never been a planet’s friend before, but I’m willing to try. It’s just, well, Miss Menu was asking a lot without giving anything. That’s not very friendly.”Quest Update!Destroy the Root of Evil.Reward: Continued life on Dirt.I was considering how to reply to that when both Awen and Amaryllis gasped. “I, I got a quest,” Amaryllis said. She reached out to gently touch something that I couldn’t see. “Ah, what’s it say?” I asked.She swallowed. “It’s asking that I destroy the root of evil. And it rewards me with the right to live on Dirt?”“Well, that’s just rude all around,” I said. “Honestly, Miss Menu, you should spend some time with Mister Menu. He’s nice.” The Menu shook. “Okay, okay. I was willing to break the root thing anyway, I just didn’t want to do it without my friends, you know?”The menu reappeared, the same text as before on it. It menu’d smugly at me.“Are you okay with us blowing up the dungeon now?” I asked. “I... don’t know what it’ll do to the area, but I guess if the world wants it, it can handle the problems it’ll cause.”Amaryllis hummed. “A dungeon of this size? It’ll create a ripple in the local mana structures. The ley lines might shift. It’s probably going to slow down the growth of any other dungeon in the area.”“Ah,” I said. “Maybe that’s why the world wants us to break the core then? It’ll hurt the roots that are spreading around elsewhere.”“That’s... actually possible,” Amaryllis said. I shrugged. “Whelp, let’s blow up the dungeon.”“You’re making me nervous when you say it so casually,” Amaryllis said.I rubbed at the back of my head where my helmet squished my hair a bit. “Ah, well, been there, done that. We might have to run all the way out of the dungeon while it explodes around us. That is, if we don’t make it back through that portal to the outside in time.”The harpy pinched the bridge of her nose. “Damnit Broccoli. I’m not in the mood to run through this entire dungeon in reverse.”“While it’s exploding,” I added.“Awa, exploding?” “Um. More like... breaking apart? On a sort of dimensional level, I guess.”“That's worse, you moron!” We spent a few minutes making sure we had all of our stuff packed up and ready to go, then I pointed to the portal leading to the outside with one hand while giving Amaryllis my backpack (and Orange). “You guys stand there and jump out as soon as... actually, you could just leave now. There’s nothing stopping you.”“And leave you in here?” Amaryllis asked.Awen shook her head. “Awa, I’ll stay with you Broccoli, until the end.”I wasn’t sure what I felt, but the weird emotion coalesced into a desire to give out hugs, so I did just that, grabbing my two friends and squishing them close. “I love you guys,” I said.“Awaaaa.”“I’ll be right back!” I said before skipping back. Awen was busy blushing, the poor thing, and Amaryllis fussed with her wing feathers. They both stood by the portal leading out, waiting for me to return.I popped into the dungeon’s core room, took a moment to look around at the strange crystalline walls torn apart by encroaching roots, then I waited for my heart to stop beating so hard.This was it. The end of another little adventure. Or rather, the end of a side quest to our adventure. There was still plenty more to go. It was a little sad that no other groups of friends would get to have fun in this dungeon like we did. It was the end of a tiny wonder.I raised a hand, aimed down my index as if holding an invisible pistol, then fired off a tiny ball of cleaning magic.The ball struck the core, splattered against it, and then magic spread across the surface of the core like water running over smooth stone. The first crack I noticed was hair-thin and only ran for a few centimeters before stopping. Then a second appeared next to it, and a third. I spun on my heel and ran out. “Hurry!” I said as I used Jump to shoot past my friends. My hands shot out behind me, catching both of them and yanking them through the portal. Just as with the portal leading to the dungeon’s core, this one was as easy to cross as an opened doorway, but at the speed I was going, and with the weight of the girls behind me, it was easy to trip and stumble as we crossed.We flopped onto the sand-covered glass of the valley with three echoed squeaks. I waited for the explosion. And waited. And then I waited some more.“Get up, idiot, you look the fool cowering on the ground like that,” Amaryllis said. I poked my head up and looked over to the still-intact entrance to the dungeon. “Huh, I was expecting a-”A burst of mana so strong it lifted me off the ground and threw me a half dozen meters away, shot out of the dungeon.I crashed into the ground some ways away and rolled a bit before coming to rest on my back. “That. I was expecting that.” “What what?” Moon Moon asked. “What happened?”“The dungeon exploded,” I said.“That makes sense,” Moon Moon said. He got up, brushed off his shorts, then stared at the hole torn into the valley wall where the dungeon had been. “Uh,” I said as I climbed to my feet. “Okay.” I didn’t have to search for long to find my other friends. Amaryllis was getting up, looking extra grumpy, and Awen was trying to untangle herself from her backpack. “Well, that was something,” I said.
* * *
Chapter Ninety-Two — Making Friends at the Next Level
Chapter Ninety-Two — Making Friends at the next Level It was only an hour later, when we had pulled away from the valley and settled into a spot with some sandy grass where we could pitch our tents, that I finally found the energy and will to check on my notifications. Not that much will. The day’s adventure had taken its toll, and I was weary to the bone... and yet I was also energized? It was probably all that excess mana from the dungeon’s core room. It was supposed to be dangerous, though I didn’t know the details on why and how. So, I laid back on a blanket, Awen tucked against my side and completely knocked out, Amaryllis on my other side with her head tucked in her armpit with only the occasional ‘choo’ to show that she was alive. Moon Moon had insisted on staying up all night, and we were too tired to argue against his generosity.“Alright Mister Menu,” I whispered before letting out a yawn. “Show me what we’ve got.”Quest Complete!The world thanks you for your sacrifice!That made sense. No reward again. Not unless Miss Menu was serious about the living thing. We’d see, I guessed. Path of Broken Reflections Dungeon Core Destroyed!You have gained: Four General PointsJust the four? Two more than the Wonderland dungeon. Still, that got me up to six total. I could get a skill up to... Rank B. Or I could get a bunch of general skills to Rank C. That was something. That was a lot of something. I could imagine that people at higher levels like Abraham had a lot of general skills, and all of them would be stuck at rank D. Suddenly getting five skills to rank C would unlock a whole pile of new abilities. I yawned. Quest Update! Pruning the EvilEvil Roots Remain! Dungeons across Dirt are Infected! Destroy them!And that was still a thing. Meh. I brought up my skill sheet and ran over it at a glance.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
9
Age
16
Health
125
Stamina
135
Mana
115
Resilience
35
Flexibility
40
Magic
20
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 02%
Jumping
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 24%
Cute
D — 100%
Dancing
F — 87%
General Skills
`
Insight
C — 62%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 49%
Archeology
F — 62%
Friendmaking
D — 100%
Physical Manakinesis
F — 49%
Skill points
2
General Skill Points
5
I was doing pretty good, I figured. I shifted around on my bedroll, pulled Awen closer because she was warm and liked cuddles, then I pulled the blankets so that they bunched up under my chin. As soon as I closed my eyes the world faded away.
* * *
“Wake up moron, the sun’s up.”“Mmm no.”Someone huffed. It had to be Amaryllis, she was the best at huffing. “I will test out my new thunder slap skill on you if you don’t get a move on.”That was scary, but I had an infallible defence. I pulled my blanket over my head. Now nothing could hurt me.The blanket was ripped away. I had to squeeze my eyes super tight so that the brighter light wouldn’t burn them. “Ugh,” I said. “Why?” “Because we can’t afford to be lazy all day, no matter how much you might wish it to be the contrary.”I glared up at Amaryllis, and when that didn’t work, I tried pouting.She snorted. “Nice try. Now get up. Moon Moon is leaving soon to return to his pack. If you don’t say goodbye he might think that you’re no longer his friend.”“That’s just mean,” I said as I rolled around and climbed onto my feet. “Where’s my skirt? And my armour?” I asked.Amaryllis gestured to a corner of the tent. “Hurry up,” she said before walking out.I hurried... sorta. Getting dressed inside a wee little tent was a bunch harder than getting undressed, as it turned out. A few minutes later I was hopping out of the tent, one shoe on crooked and my pretty blue dress a bit twisted, but that was an easy enough fix.We had set up the tent on the downwind side of a hill just a little ways from the glass valley where the dungeon had been. We weren’t exactly in a travelling mood the night before, but we also didn’t want to sleep on glass.“Good morning!” I said with a stretch as I took in my friends all standing around under the still low-in-the-sky sun. The area smelled fresh, like morning dew on the brink of evaporating. This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.Awen was sitting with her crossbow on her lap and a piece of glass in her hands. She was frowning at the glass until she looked up and greeted me with a big smile. “Hello Broccoli,” she said.“Yes yes, hello,” Moon Moon said. The droll was chewing on a strip of dried meat. “You sleep loud.”“Ah, well... thanks,” I said. “Do we have breakfast?” I wondered as I shifted my gear on straight.“I’m afraid not,” Amaryllis said. “We can’t start a fire, not unless we sustain it magically and that’s a hassle. Want to prepare some of your tea while I tear down the tent?” “Sure!” I said. The next few minutes were frantically calm. We weren’t doing anything too special, but there was a sense that we had to hurry along. It was a weird feeling. “So, Moon Moon,” I started while filling my teapot with some of the last of our water. “You’re heading out?” “Yep yep,” Moon Moon said. “Got to get back to the pack, tell them the stuff that happened.”“Ah, you’ll tell them the dungeon was destroyed?”The droll nodded. “Yes. Very sad. But it’s okay. Another dungeon will come. Maybe an easier one.”“That’s a nice attitude to have,” I said. “It’s too bad about the roots. Ah. I should explain those.”“Don’t bother,” Amaryllis said. “I’ve been over it. He knows to try and destroy any roots, and he’ll tell the other drolls about it.”“I will!” Moon Moon said.Once the tent was packed up and Amaryllis whisked it away into her ring, we sat on the side of the hill and had some tea with a bit of hardtack. Nothing too fancy, but it was filling nonetheless. Then it was time to part ways. “You were fun to have around Moon Moon,” I said.The droll’s tail waggled behind him. “Yes yes, thank you. You were good too, Broccoli who doesn’t smell like broccoli. You too, chicken one and...” he sniffed the air. “One who smells like Broccoli.”I grabbed Moon Moon in a big hug and squeezed him tight. “We’ll see each other again one day, alright?” I asked.“Yes yes! If you get tired of human things, you can join the Best Pack with your mate and your bird friend,” Moon Moon said. Amaryllis snorted. But she did say her goodbyes too.We all waved as the droll trotted off into the sunrise. And then it was our turn to get going. “So, northwest?” I wondered.“Awa, I think straight north might be best. We’ll move away from the desert,” Awen said.I eyed her from the corner of my eye, she sounded a bit more confident than she had just a few days ago. “If you say so!” I said before I began to march north-wards. We were in a fantastic mood, the trials last night being over and the sun shining bright and pretty in a sky that was dotted with big fluffy clouds made the whole world feel light. Amaryllis and Awen talked about their general skill points, but wondering where they would spend theirs. As I’d kinda guessed, having any amount of those was sort of a big deal .“What did your Book Smart skill do at its one-point rank?” Amaryllis asked.“Awa, it allowed me to use mana while reading to perfectly memorize a book. It’s very handy.”“Hrm,” Amaryllis hummed. “That does sound useful. Not sure if it’s worth the point. Observe is also tempting. Unfortunately my other general skills are all utilitarian. I don’t think Accounting will come in handy with an additional skill point in it. And now that my class has evolved I have five empty general skill slots.”“I, I don’t have any good General Skills,” Awen said. “Um. Instrumentalist, maybe?”“That might apply to using things like that bow of yours, actually,” Amaryllis said. “Maybe you should wait until you have unlocked more skills before spending your own points. It’s not as though we’re in any great hurry.”“R-right.”For all that Amaryllis claimed not to be in a hurry, she could certainly talk a whole lot about how best to spend the points she didn’t want to spend yet. “I’m going to put one point into Friendmaking,” I said.Amaryllis paused and tilted her head to the side. “I... suppose that isn’t an awful idea.”“It might come in handy soon too,” I said as I pointed out ahead of us.Way, way off in the distance were a bunch of people. They would have been impossible to spot were it not for their yellow and black clothes that made them stand out on the green and blue horizon. They were far enough away that it would take a while to get to them though.Amaryllis squinted ahead, then brought her new goggles up to her eyes. “Can’t Observe them properly from this far away.”I shrugged and opened Mister Menu with a flourish. My Friendmaking skill was maxed out, so...Congratulations! Friendmaking is now Rank C!FriendmakingRank C — 00%The ability to make friends. As you practice this skill your ability to make friends will improve. You are now able to see what people desire in a friend, their dreams and hopes for the future!“Ohh,” I said. “Neat! I can see what people want now.”Amaryllis nodded. “Knowing what someone wants is the first step to getting them to do what you want.”“And it’s one of the best ways to make them your friend,” I added.“Sure.”I grinned at Amaryllis. “I’m gonna use it on you, alright?” “Go ahead,” Amaryllis said.I focused on her, then pouted as nothing happened. Maybe it was like insight? “Friendmaking?” Nothing. “What are your dreams?” Nada. “Hi! Wanna be friends?”Amaryllis AlbatrossDesired Quality: Someone who will validate herDream: To have her family and clan be proud of her“Aww,” I said before glomping Amaryllis. “I’d validate you anytime!”“Get off me, you dumb brute!” Amaryllis squawked. “Not until you know how much you matter to me!” I shouted right back.She started buzzing and tickling me with little electrical shocks. I giggled and let go, my arms and sides tingling with fuzzy electrical energy, like rolling on a carpet while wearing a thick wool sweater. I turned to Awen next, and her face instantly went red. “Awa, if, if you want to do me, that’s... it’s okay,” she said.“Awesome! So, do you wanna be my friend?” Awen BristleconeDesired Quality: Taller than self. Female. Slightly older than self. Green eyes. Brown hair. Friendly. Adventurous. Outgoing. Cool. Cute. Dream: To spend the rest of her life in the company of Broccoli BunchI stared for a bit, my tummy roiling and tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I didn’t glomp Awen. But I did pull her into a big, very tight hug. “Thanks Awen,” I said.“Awa?” “I’ll be your friend forever, okay?” I said. “And when I’m older, and I’m living in a cute house with my cute husband, and my two cute kids and my cute pets, you can live in the house next to mine, and we can chat and talk and be together until we’re super old, okay?” “Awa...”“Guys, as amusing as Broccoli’s idiocy is to see, I think your attention would be better directed ahead of us,” Amaryllis said.I turned and blinked. The yellow-black people were closer, close enough that we could see them.Though calling them people was maybe a misnomer. Giant horse-sized bees were not usually ‘people.’
* * *
Chapter Ninety-Three — Buzzy Bee Boogie
Chapter Ninety-Three — Buzzy Bee Boogie “We could go around them,” Amaryllis said. “Awen, what do you know about large bees?” “Awa, they’re not usually a problem. Um. They’ll fight if you approach their hive, but they usually mind their own business.”“Do they talk?” I asked. The bee people... Beeple, were big ladies. They stood on four legs, their big bee behind sticking out behind them under a pair of translucent wings. Their faces were a little creepy, with big old mandibles and big black eyes that bulged out a bit, but they seemed nice. Their body was covered in fine, fuzzy fur-like stuff, all in black and bright yellows. And they were more... inoffensively fat than scarily big. Like a favourite auntie instead of a bodybuilder. All three of them were bending over little patches of flowers, poking at them with something that I couldn’t see from afar, and then dropping stuff into the satchels hanging by their sides. “Awa, no, I don’t think so.”“Right, we’ll just circle around desert-wise. I don’t think the environment there would be hospitable to them,” Amaryllis said.“I’m going to go say hi,” I said as I started walking.“You moron!” Amaryllis said. She jogged to catch up to me. “What if they turn hostile?”“Then we run,” I said. “But I’m sure we can... beecome friends.”“... I hate you,” Amaryllis said.I laughed and started skipping. Skipping was the best way to tell someone just by walking that you didn’t intend any harm. “No you don’t!” I sing-songed.Looking ahead, I saw the beeple look up and then stare at each other. They started to approach us, their little wings beating at the air and completely failing to do much more than raise their butts a little. “Insight,” I said as I hopped to a stop some two dozen meters away. A busy big bee Worker Bee, level 10.I could see level tens now! Neat! My Insight skill must have been relying on my actual level to some degree. All three of the bees gave me the same result when I checked them out with Insight. Maybe that was normal for bees. They were meant to be a sort of hive people from what I could remember. The bee in the lead stepped up in front of her sister bees. She shook her bottom, slid into a quick Lindy Hop to one side, then fox trotted back to the middle, her four legs swinging this way and that. “Hey there loves, what are you doing in this neck of the woods?” she boogied.I opened my mouth to reply, then choked. I... I wasn’t meant to talk to the bees. Something told me that I had to... move? It was weird, a sort of knowledge on how to shake and sing and disco what I wanted to say. “Watch over my backpack,” I said to the girls as I took off my pack. I gave it to Awen, then poured Orange out of my bandoleer and handed the kitty to Amaryllis. “What are you doing?” Amaryllis said.“I’m going to talk to the nice bee people,” I said. I took two quick steps towards the bee girls, then stopped when I saw them flinching back a little. I smiled on account of smiling never being a bad thing, then I let the weird instinct guide me. “Hello bee people,” I bunny hopped. “My name is Broccoli Bunch,” I charlestoned to the side. “Let’s be friends,” I ended with some disco flair.The bees stared.My friends stared.Orange tucked herself into Amaryllis chest and went to sleep.“Awa, what are you doing?” Awen asked.“They talk by moving,” I said. “It’s really neat!” The bee in the lead buzzed her wings, then started to waggle talk in what looked to me like a real excited voice. She hopped forwards on all four legs, her little arms waving around into a tight mambo step that turned into a butt-wiggling salsa.“Girl, you have got one weird accent. Pleasure to meet you though. Most two legged folk don’t bother to even waggle hello these days. I swear. I’m Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two. These are my sisters, Daisy Six-of-Twelve and Marguerite Five-of-Thirty.”I clapped my hands, a huge grin spreading across my face before I translated for the others in a hurry. My reply came in the form of a bit of krumping that turned into a robot dance midway through. “Pleased to meet you all! I’m Broccoli, these are my best friends, Amaryllis and Awen and Orange!”Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two Harlem shook a reply. “So what are you fine folk doing out in these fields over here? And are you the Broccoli that’s got all those dryads up in a tizzy?” “We’re just crossing over to a place called Rosenbell,” I jitterbugged. “And you heard about me? From some dryads?”“We sure have.”“The only dryad I ever met was Oak in the Darkwoods.”“That’s the one, girl,” Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two jived. “If you’re heading over to that human place, then we can show you a faster way than walking.”“Oh?” I flexed. “How? That would be really nice.”Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two square-danced my comment away. “Nice girl like you. No one will mind if you use the hiveways just for a bit. We can talk pollen on the way.”“I don’t know much about pollen,” I twisted back. “But I do love flowers!” “What in the world are you doing?” Amaryllis asked, her patience finally at an end. I stood a little taller, panting just a bit from all the weird contortions and bouncing I had to do. “Talking to Henrilock and her sisters here. They have a way to get to Rosenbell faster than by walking,” I said. I had never really appreciated being able to just... talk before. It was way less tiring. “That... would be acceptable. Depending on what this method is.” Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.I shrugged. “I don’t know. Something about a hiveway? It’s kind of hard to understand everything with the whole dancing language.”Amaryllis shook her head. “I don’t know if I trust them,” she said. I looked over to the big bee girls and tilted my head. “They seem friendly enough. Let me ask them something real quick.”The bee girls didn’t seem to mind me talking to my friends at all. In fact, I had the impression that few things really bothered them. “Hey, I was wondering, would you like to be friends?” I cha cha’d real smooth.Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-TwoDesired Quality: Friendly, likes flowers and honeyDream: To find lots of pollen for the hive“Girl, you should know that we’re always down for being friends,” Henrihock danced. I smiled and turned to my friends. “They seem really nice,” I said. “I’d follow them.”“Awa, we can try?” Awen said.Amaryllis shook her head and buried it in her talons. “Fine. But if this turns into some sort of disaster, I’m blaming you, Broccoli.”I turned to the bees and waggled our approval, and how grateful we were.A moment later I was distracted when a screen popped up before me.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Dance skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!Grinning, I accepted the rank up and then jumped when I saw the bee girls moving off ahead of us. I took my backpack back from Awen and ran after the bees, the girls following after me with only a few complaints from Amaryllis.The bee girls lead us across open plains and down a few valleys, sometimes dance-walking to compliment a particularly flowery bush, or to warn of a bad scent in the air. I skipped ahead of them and sniffed at some of the flowers that looked extra sniffable, but I mostly stayed close. The sun was still only approaching its zenith when the bee girls pointed ahead to a sort of little hillock with a big old hexagonal hole cut into its side. Another big bee was standing there, wearing beige-yellow armour around her fuzzy body and carrying a long spear by her side. The girls accompanying us and the guard danced back and forth a little, the moves so fast and fluid that I had a hard time following.“What’s going on?” Amaryllis asked.“They’re asking for permission to let us in, I think,” I said.Amaryllis relaxed a little. “Good.”“Good?” I repeated.“Yes. If we had been let in easily, then the likelihood that it was a trap would increase. It being difficult means that they don’t usually have guests. Or it could be a double bluff to lure us into a false sense of security.”I looked at the conversation and then shrugged. “I think the guard is mostly worried we might bring bugs in with us.”Soon we were let into the tunnel, and I found myself gasping as I looked out and down a passageway that seemed to stretch on forever.“What is this place?” I turkey trotted with some difficulty. The tighter corridor made swinging my legs just-so a bit hard.Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two wiggled in laughter. “This is the hiveway. We’re big girls, if you know what I mean. Can’t be picking pollen from the same flowers all day or we’ll go hungry. So we spread out across the whole valley.”“Awesome,” I whispered.The bee girls led us into the passage a little ways until we arrived in a sort of little hangar with some carts off to the side. There were two tracks running down into the depths of the tunnel, both illuminated by glowing honeycomb-like things hanging from the rocky ceiling. Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two ushered us into a little cart, then she and her sisters started to beat their wings so hard that I squeaked and had to slap my hat back on.Wings too weak to lift the big bees off the ground, were more than enough to give the cart some serious thrust.Soon we were barrelling down the tunnel so fast that the lights above flashed by faster than I could blink and cast us all in glowing oranges that waxed and waned along with my drumming heartbeat.“Awa!” Awen cheered. “We’re so fast!” Ahead of us, the tunnel opened up a bit to one side, and I gripped the edge of the cart so that I could see what was coming better.Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two stopped beating her wings and turned to face us. The electric boogaloo she danced was a bit tight, but I understood it all the same.“We’re gonna cross one of the artisanal halls where our sisters make things. Wiggle your hellos!” she said.I gasped as the tunnel opened up and we started to cross a long bridge over a sea of little stations, each one manned by a busy bee fast at work making all sorts of things. More than one looked up in curiosity as we rocketted past.“Say hi!” I told the girls.“H-how?” Awen asked.“Like this,” I said as I stood up and wiggled my booty over the edge of the cart for a friendly hello. “Awa, I think, I think I’ll just wave,” Awen said.I stared down at all the workers and noticed that they were all making neat things, but instead of working like in a factory, each one was working on an entire piece individually. Each one was working in their own little hexagonal cubicle (was it a cubicle if it wasn’t cube-shaped?) and seemed focused on the task before them.I saw pouches being made, and jars being glazed in little kilns and all sorts of weapons being lovingly crafted by a hive of workers. “So cool,” I said. I danced a bit with Henrihock Four-of-Seventy-Two, asking her why they didn’t just use an assembly line for most things. Then we had a marvelous conversation about what an assembly line is. It passed the time until we arrived at our destination.
* * *
Chapter Ninety-Four — Dance Dance Beevolution
Chapter Ninety-Four — Dance Dance Beevolution “So,” I waggled as we climbed off the cart. It had taken a couple of hours to travel across the entire hive, crossing junctions and tunnels and all sorts of strange underground caverns along the way. It was surprising just how extensive the hive was. “You girls like flowers, huh?” “Ooo, girl, you have got no idea how much we love flowers.” Henrihock wiggled back. “Can’t farm them inside the hive, so we sniff them out. We make the best honey.”“So cool,” I said out loud. I shifted my hips and started to dance a reply back. “How do you find all your flowers? We have a mission to find all the best flowers in the region.”Henrihock made jazz-hands. “We have maps. Here, I’m sure Queen Bee wouldn’t mind.” The big bee reached into her little satchel and pulled out a small square-folded map that she gave to me.“Whaa,” I said as I looked over a detailed chart of the region, complete with marks for the entrances to the hive ways and little scribbles that showed where different sorts of flowers were. It was made of a strange, waxy sort of paper, like the mache that normal beehives were made of. “Thank you!” I jigged.I was still poring over the map, Amaryllis snooping over my shoulder, when we exited the hive ways and found ourselves in a little forest. There were plenty of trees around, though there was some room between each, and lots of bushes and fallen branches made the area look hard to travel. Henrihock spun around, wings beating so hard it made the air thrum. “Here we are, love. If you keep on moving that way for a little while you’ll find that human hive you’re looking for.” I grinned from ear to ear and jumped over to Henrihock to give her a big hug. She was just as fuzzy as she looked. “Thank you,” I twerked, tears in my eyes. “You were the best bees I’ve ever met.”The other bee girls thrummed their wings too. They looked a little jealous of the attention Henrihock had received, so I gave them hugs too. “Stay safe love, don’t let them nasty wood bears go after you, you hear?” Henrihock waggled. “I won’t,” I ballet’ed sadly. “Thank you again!” We were waved off, Amaryllis taking the lead to push through the underbrush in a mostly northwestern-ish heading. “Awa,” Awen said. “That was... interesting.”Amaryllis sighed and crossed her arms. “It was acceptable,” she said.I stared at the back of her head for a bit, then hummed. “Why are you in a bad mood? We got to make friends and have fun.”“I’m not in a bad mood,” Amaryllis said like someone who was in a bad mood. I think she might have sensed that I was staring because she grumbled something. “I just felt rather... useless back there.”“But nothing bad happened,” I said. “I guess your best skills didn’t come into play. There was nothing to zap, and no one to be condescending to, not unless you learned how to dance-talk a little.”“I refuse to learn how to speak such a primitive... language.”I felt a smile tugging at my lips, but suppressed it for the moment. “That’s fair. Don’t worry, I’m sure the next bit of our adventure will have plenty of things that you can zap into submission.”“Harrumph,” Amaryllis harrumphed. “What about you, Awen? Did you feel useless? I don’t want my friends to feel like third wheels, it’s not nice.”“Awa, no, no more than usual,” Awen said.I pulled Awen into a side hug for a bit before I had to let go on account of the terrain. “So! Do you have any clue where we are?” I asked.“Yes,” Amaryllis said. “More or less.” She pointed through the woods and to the southwest. “The desert is over there. The mountains behind us are a little bit further, and the ground is sloping up. If I had to guess, which I do, I think we’re nearing the cliffs that lead up to Rosenbell. We’re half a day’s walk from the city.”“Half a day? So we skipped two days of travel time with the bee girls?” “Just about,” Amaryllis said. “Two days that we could have used to sharpen any new skills.”“We could still do that a little,” I said. A look to the sky showed that the sun was well past its zenith and was on its way to rest by the horizon. “We can set up camp a little early, then get up early tomorrow before heading to Rosenbell.”“That... might not be a terrible idea,” Amaryllis admitted. “I need to see how my new skills function, Awen needs to start down the path of learning some glass magic and you... well, you’re still far behind the curve with your own skills, I suspect. A few hours of training wouldn’t go amiss.”“Ah,” I said. I was beginning to regret my own suggestion. “Well, okay.”We continued for just a little bit before Amaryllis stumbled and came to a stop. She brought her talons up and stared at them.“You okay?” I asked.“My ring just slipped out of range,” she said.“Uh. Range from what?”“The bank,” she said. “The ring’s beacon system can only reach so far. We’ve passed its maximum range. We’ll have to go back a bit. I’ll need to pull some equipment, and some gold.”I looked to the skies again, it was still bright and blue above, but there were hints that it was approaching night. “Right, let’s find a nice spot to make camp that’s in your ring’s range.”We started to search for an area, all the while aiming northwards a little bit. It was Awen who pointed out a cliff that poked out above the woods. It had a nice little rocky clearing at the top that, once we climbed to the top, afforded us a sweeping view of the region. This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.Awen volunteered to pick up branches and such while Amaryllis plopped herself down on a rock and started writing notes to send through her ring. I dropped my pack and decided to help Awen find some wood and the like. Soon we had a big pile of branches all stacked up to one side and we moved some rocks around to clear room for the tent and a little fire pit. I pulled out some food and started cooking with a bit of magical help from Awen who knew a fire starting spell.My tummy had been quick to remind me that breakfast had been a long while ago and lunch had never been. Beans cooked in a little pot, some strips of salty meat, and some bread. Not the food of kings, or even anything that could be compared to the food at most of the inns I’d been in, but it was filling enough. “Right,” Amaryllis said as she set a backpack of her own off to the side. She had a few things packed away in there that seemed handy. “I need to see how my new Thunder Slap skill works compared to Thunder Clap.”“Awa, I, I think I can work on some, um, glass magic? It’s supposed to be part of my new class’s skills, I hope.”“What’s glass magic like?” I asked. “I mean, we kind of saw a bunch of it in the dungeon, but still.”“I’m not too sure, but, but I hope I can make things with it. Um. Small glass constructs would be very nice.” She lugged her crossbow over and onto her lap, then pulled a bolt out of it. “See?”I looked at the arrow, the tip was made of a piece of glass... so was the shaft and even the fletching. “Huh,” I said. “That’s nasty.”“I want to be able to make these out of magic.”“Can you make stuff out of magic? Permanent things, I mean?” I asked.Amaryllis hummed. “More or less. The cost is far, far greater, exorbitantly so. Turning something from one material to another is a lot cheaper mana-and-effort wise. Awen here could start with some sand.”“Awa, I thought of that!” Awen said. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a small purse that was filed with glassy sand. “I, ah, took some from the valley with the dungeon.”“Then start there,” Amaryllis said. “Imbue it with your mana while turning your mana into glass aspect. Then try to sculpt the sand into something simple. A ball, perhaps?” “I think I can do that,” Awen said. I tapped my chin, then dove into my backpack until I found my copy of A Guide to Manipulating the Essence that was tucked at the bottom of all my other stuff. The book had taken a bit of a beating at the bottom of my pack, but it was still fine. I skimmed ahead, looking for anything about mana sculpting and the like. There was an entire chapter about it towards the end of the book, but the instructions looked like they built off of a bunch of previous lessons and I couldn’t really get it. “Here,” I told Awen as I handed her the book opened to what I hoped was the right page. “That might help.”“Awa! Thank you!”Awen set the book on her lap and started reading it while a small glowing ball of magic formed in her hands and started to slowly shift colours. Awen might not have gotten all that many opportunities to work with her original class, but I couldn’t imagine her not receiving plenty of training in the use of basic magics. I was almost envious... okay, I was definitely envious.But that just meant that I had to practice more myself! “Amaryllis! I need to get even better at magic. Teach me!” Amaryllis sighed and made a back-up sort of gesture. “Go over there and start practicing your manakinesis. Try to figure out an aspect other than cleaning while you’re at it.”“Um. Like fire?” I asked.“That’s... a possibility. Perhaps water aspect. Hitting a foe with cleaning magic does very little. Water aspect can at least impart some physical force at higher concentrations.” She grinned. “Also, you’re less likely to light the forest aflame.”“Alright!” I said before bouncing down the hill a little. There was a particularly large rock with a nice flat top to one side, maybe a meter and a half across and nearly even. I hopped onto it, made sure it was stable, then paused as I realized that I wasn’t actually sure how to start. Pushing mana out of my body along with motions seemed to trigger physical manakinesis, at least a little, so I started with that. Smooth twirls that had cleaning magic flowing after my hands like streamers, kicks that fired off weak blasts, and finally little punches that sent balls of cleaning magic racing ahead. That was fairly easy, and it felt right. But switching from cleaning magic to something else would be tricky, an entire level of difficulty added atop of what I could already do.I grinned. I had never really been the sort of girl to chase after challenges like that, but it was a whole lot of fun to play with new magics. An hour or so passed with me focused on a pool of my own magic while I tried to think watery thoughts. When I would start to grow tired I’d try some new things. Kicking with bursts of magic felt right, so did firing a blast of cleaning magic on a jump. In the end, just as the sun finally set and the only light around was our little campfire, I was rewarded with not one, but two new prompts from Mister Menu.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Physical Manakinesis skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a Free Rank!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Dancing skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a Free Rank!“Oi, moron! Come back over here or I’m giving you middle watch!” Amaryllis called over. “Coming!” I said.
Chapter Ninety-Five — Dungeon Known As...
Chapter Ninety-Five — Dungeon Known As... “No,” Amaryllis said.I looked away from the city ahead of us and towards my birdy friend who was standing, wings crossed, right next to me. “No what?” I asked.“No, we can’t afford to have you run around the whole town acting like a country bumpkin,” she said. “There are a few things we need to do, then it’s straight to the dungeon with us.”“Boo!” I said. “You’re no fun.”“I’m responsible,” Amaryllis said.“And that makes you no fun. It’s a good thing you’re one of my best friends or I’d call you boring.”Amaryllis, being the mean and clever bird she was, waited until I was looking back towards Rosenbell before wapping me with a wing. “Idiot.”I laughed and ran ahead of her and towards the long line of people entering the city. I wasn’t actually sure if Rosenbell qualified as a city. It was a little on the small side, even compared to Port Royal and Greenshade, but it was way, way bigger than a place like Threewells. A town, maybe? The walls around the town were tall and bright, made of white-beige stones set one atop the other. Huge banners hung from the sides, with symbols of wolves and bears and tridents done up in bright colours. We arrived at the back of the line of people entering the city, and I couldn’t help but grin. The air smelled like a fair. Young men and women in bright clothes were making their way down the lines, selling popcorn and drinks that they cooled down with big bursts of icy magic that left lines of fog in the air high above them.A little group of musicians, just a couple of boys with some flutes, tambourines and one lute, were playing a little tune that carried all the way over to the end of the line. “Is this place always like this?” I asked.“Awa, no,” Awen said as she huffed and puffed and caught her breath from jogging after me. “No, there’s a big festival here every year. Um. Some people from Mattergrove, the Endless Swells, and Cinderrun all come over to participate. Ah, and there are some Ostri people.”She pointed to a man a few placed ahead of us in the line. He was one of those tall fellows that I had seen in Juliette’s inn. All lanky and long-limbed, covered in beige and pale-yellow cloth that made him... her-them-look a lot skinnier. They noticed Awen pointing and nodded to us in a way that looked friendly.“Cool,” I said. “What’s it a festival of?” “It’s the festival of, um, Rose’s Bell.” Awen gestured to the back of the town where I could just make out a church-like tower with an open roof on which a large bell sat. “I don’t really know all the history,” Awen said. She sounded a little apologetic about that.“That’s okay! More for us to learn!”“World save us,” Amaryllis muttered. “How are you so energetic this morning?” “I’m excited!” I cheered.A few people down the line ahead of us laughed and I saw more than one give me fond looks. I decided that maybe I could be a little less excited. I bounced on my feet as more and more people were let into the town and the line dwindled ahead. There were caravans and carts and such pulling up behind us, and hikers who were coming to town with big backpacks full of stuff too. I gawked without shame. The people, most of them human, wore all sorts of strange outfits. From things I would have expected in a medieval society, to costumes made entirely of thick scarves, to leather and plate armours. Finally our time at the front gate arrived and we were greeted by a nice older guardsman flanked by a much younger female guardswoman. “Welcome to Rosenbell, ladies,” he said. “I’ll be using an ability on all three of you in a moment, and then you may enter, is that alright?”“Perfectly,” Amaryllis said.The guardsman looked me up and down, then did the same to my two friends. He mumbled a few things to the woman next to him and she took some notes in a binder. “Alright. Members of the Exploration Guild huh? I can sense a few magical things in your bags. Would you mind if I have a look?” I didn’t have anything special in my backpack, and I didn’t think the girls had anything either. We set our things on a table and the guardsman started to look into each bag. “Terribly sorry about this. It’s a precaution we need to take, especially with all the people coming in for the tournament.”“What’s the tournament like?” I asked.“Oh, it’s quite a bit of fun,” the guard said as he shifted my bag to the side and started sifting through Amaryllis’. “Are you going to be here the day after tomorrow? That’s when it’s starting off.”“Ah, I don’t know. We’re here for the puppet dungeon,” I said.“Oh-hoh. Yes, I suppose you’re all around that level. You might want to see the puppet shows then. Very impressive.”Amaryllis sighed. “Broccoli, stop playing tourist.”“But I am a tourist,” I pointed out.She glared. “Mister guard, our equipment took some beating during our last mission, are there any local tailors available? And a smith?”“Sure thing,” he said as he pushed Amaryllis’ small pack to the side. “Check out Rusty by the main square. Decent smith. Fast work. And... ah, there’s old Yoland near the inn. She’s pricey but good. If you need something done cheap there’s a new shop at the far end of town.”“Thank you,” Amaryllis said. The guard smiled genially at us and opened Awen’s pack. He moved a few things aside and then his smile became very much fixed.Carefully, the guard pulled out Awen’s wand of cure hysteria and just sort of... stared at it. “Um,” he said.“Awa, that’s, that’s mine,” Awen said.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Was that illegal here? I hoped not. “It used to be mine,” I said. “But I gave it to her a while back. It’s harmless, I swear.”The guardsman eyed me, then Awen. He looked at a loss for words. “Sir?” his partner asked.The wand was stuffed back into the bag and the guard pushed it towards Awen while wiping his hands on his gambeson. “Alright, you’re ah, good to go.” I waved to the nice guardsman and skipped into town.Within its walls, Rosenbell was a quaint, if busy, little town. There were homes all over, set into roads that didn’t travel straight for more than a house or two’s length, and the streets were cobbled with big flat stones that made every passing cart sound like a machine gun as they rolled past. We ended up passing crowds that were bumping along shoulder-to-shoulder until we stepped into an open square where a whole lot of people were setting up seating areas around a large stone stage. Merchants were putting up little tents and kiosks all around and workers hauling long bits of wood were making a mess of any cart traffic in the region.The entire town felt chaotic and, most of all, alive. I loved it.“That way!” Amaryllis said as she pointed off to the far end of the street. The moment we were on a less-travelled road Amaryllis and Awen sighed. “Right, that was unamusing. We need to find that tailor first. Then we need to hope that there’s room for us at one of the local inns.”“Why the tailor first?” I asked.“Because your armour has a hole in it,” Amaryllis said as she pointed to my chest. I poked at the hole. It was a little annoying. “We can have that repaired before hitting the dungeon. Then we can see about that spade of yours.”“You mean, I could fix it?” I asked.“You kept the head, didn’t you?” she asked. “We’ll see about it. Otherwise, you might have to resort to purchasing a proper weapon.”“Aww, yeah, that’s fair,” I said. “I’ll need better shoes too, mine are starting to fall apart.”Amaryllis nodded. “Armour, then shoes, then the blacksmiths to fix your spade or replace it. Then we find an inn.”“And if we can’t find a room?” I asked.“In that case...” Amaryllis paused. “I suppose we could visit the dungeon early.”“It’s a plan!” I said.Finding the shop the guard had mentioned was as easy as asking a few locals where to go, then getting lost a few times in the winding roads of the town. At least the bell tower gave us something to line ourselves up with no matter where we went. The shop itself was a little thing squished in between two homes with big windows at the front that showed off racks of cloth and bundles of clothes. There weren’t any clients in the shop when we stepped in, just an older woman carefully sliding a needle in and out of the base of a dress and leaving a pretty pattern of flowers wherever she moved. “Hello,” Amaryllis said. “Are you Miss Yoland?” “That’s me, dearie,” the woman, she said. She finished what she was doing, then set the dress down on a table while sticking her needle into a pincushion. “How may I help... three young ladies. My, I’m popular all of a sudden. Looking for something pretty for the festival? I’m sure I can make you something that’ll catch any beau’s eye.”I laughed and shook my head. “Nothing like that,” I said. “My gambeson got a little, ah, perforated. And cut. And... well, it needs some help,” I said.“Ah,” Yoland said. She adjusted a thick pair of glasses and squinted at my armour. “That seems like some nice work. Handmade too. Well, well.” She looked up and to Awen, then smiled kindly. “Dear, could you lock the door and lower the blinds? Wouldn’t want anyone snooping.”“Awa, yes miss,” Awen said as she jumped to it.“Now, young miss...”“I’m Bunch, Broccoli Bunch. This is Awen, and that’s Amaryllis, my two best friends.”Yoland tittered. “Very good. Now, are you wearing anything under that pretty bit of armour? I’m afraid fixing it while you’re in it might not be terribly comfortable. I’m a steady hand with the needle and thread, but we wouldn’t want to take any risks.”“Ah, sure, sure,” I said before I started to unbuckle the armoured bits of my pretty dress and then slipped out of it. “My blouse has a hole in it too,” I said as I took that off as well, leaving me in just my bra and shorts.“Awa,” Awen said.After placing all my things on the counter before Yoland, I pulled Awen in for a quick side-hug.“Hrm, this is a clean cut. Nothing too complex,” Yoland said as she prodded the hole in my gambeson. “And this... this...” she ran her hands over my blouse. Her breath caught. “This is incredible.”“Huh?” I asked.Yoland pulled up my blouse and held it before her. “Where did this drop from?” she wondered.“Um... Walmart?” “I’ve never heard of that dungeon. It must be an exceptionally rare drop. The quality... my my.”I blinked, then fired off an Insight at my blouse.A Simple white blouse of Masterwork quality, new.Huh. That was different. I stared down at my feet and fired off another Insight.A well-worn pair of sneakers of Masterwork quality, new.“Hey, Yoland, can you fix shoes too?” I asked. Then I had a brilliant idea. “Can you enchant them?”“You would want me to try enchanting Masterworks?” Yoland asked. She looked a whole lot younger than she did when we entered. “Oh dearie, I would love to try.”I grinned. “Neat! We’ll leave things with you then while we go check out a few other things!”Awen started to stutter. “Y-you can’t go out ju-just with that.” she said.“Ah, right,” I said. I turned to Yoland, “Do you have anything I can borrow? I’ll bring it back super clean, promise!”
* * *
Chapter Ninety-Six — The Rusty Raven
Chapter Ninety-Six — The Rusty Raven The sandals Yoland had given me went clip-a-clop with every step, and the dress I’d borrowed for the morning was light as a feather. It made it feel really weird as I bounced ahead of my friends. Amaryllis had left her jacket behind to repair a few scuffs on it, and Awen’s trench coat needed a little love too, so we were all lightly dressed as we toured the town.“Where to next?” I asked as I spun around Amaryllis.“World save me, you’re getting more excited, not less,” Amaryllis said. “You’re like a hummingbird harpy who drank too much sugar-water.”“Ohh, there are hummingbird harpies? That sounds cute!”“Awa,” Awen said as I spun around her. “B-Broccoli is in a good mood. That’s alright, right Amaryllis?” she asked.“It could be worse,” Amaryllis said. She whapped me on the head with a wing when I tried to circle around her again. “Be serious for a moment. We have a blacksmith to find.”I pouted, but Amaryllis was probably right. I had let the overwhelming excitement in the air get to me. There were so many people laughing and chatting and being happy around me that I couldn’t help but want to bounce around all day. “Over there,” Amaryllis said as she pointed to a shop by the main square. A sign hung off the front with ‘The Rusty Raven’ written across it next to a rusty bird-shaped bit of steel. The shop itself looked clean, despite the rustiness of its sign.We stepped in only to find a bit of a line leading up to the front counter. There were a bunch of big men, mostly humans, but there were a couple of Ostri people and even a single plate-covered cervid. “Wow, this place is popular,” I said as I slipped to the back of the line.The man behind the counter was a black-feathered harpy with a big dirty apron who was wagging his talons in the face of some gruff looking man. “That, little one, is because of the tournament.”I stared at the person just before me, and then smiled. It was one of the Ostri people, a tall figure covered in dark-brown wraps who seemed bent in on himself. “Hello,” I said. “What’s that about a tournament?”“Ah, so you’re not here for that? Too bad, I have never fought a Cinnamon Bun before,” he said. It didn’t sound threatening, more like he was genuinely sad. “The tournament is what attracts so many of my siblings of the sands to this place. To test one’s might, earn gold, and meet strange peoples. It is in many ways an attraction tailor-made for us. But you seem to be on a different path.”“I guess so,” I said. His voice was strange, smooth and soft, like cloth rubbing over cloth. “We’re just here because my spade broke.”“A broken tool doesn’t serve well,” he agreed. “How did you break it?”“A wyvern bit it.”The Ostri man paused. “Ah.”I nodded, then brought out the spade and the bit of the handle still stuck to it. “It saved me in the end. It was either the spade getting bit or me.”“That must have been an extraordinary fight,” he said.“Yeah!” I said. I pulled Awen close to my side. “Awen got the kill. She smacked the wyvern with her hammer until it exploded.”“Awa, it, it was nothing?” Awen said.Grinning, I looked way up to meet the Ostri man’s goggles. “I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch!” I said as I extended a hand. “These are my friends, Awen and Amaryllis.”He uncoiled a little from his hunched posture, took my hand in one of his and bowed over it. “I am Ladle Secondson, the Sandwalker.”“Oh, that’s a cool name,” I said.Ladle nodded. “Thank you, little one. It is the constellation under which I was born.”“Is that how Ostri names work?” I asked.“It is. First the constellation of your birth, then the order of it. Finally, your class. We do not prescribe much attention to the family of our birth, that way lies nepotism and weakness.”Amaryllis huffed. “The Ostri put no weight in things like family. Or governments. Or laws.”Ladle nodded. “This is true. We believe that the strong must lead, and that they must protect the weak. The weak, in turn, must grow stronger. That is all that matters.”“Wait,” I said. “So you don’t have any government at all?”He shook his head. “We rely on ourselves. It is far less terrifying than giving so much power to someone who you neither know, nor trust.”I tapped my chin as I thought about that. It made a sort of sense. Anarchy wasn’t usually an acceptable form of rulership as far I was aware, but maybe it worked for the Ostri people. I would need to visit them and see how their world worked to truly judge. The line moved ahead a few spots and I let my attention wander over all the weapons racked on the walls around us. There weren’t that many. In fact, there were more tools and candlesticks and door handles and other knick-knacks than actual weapons. “Ah, it is my turn,” Ladle said. “Goodbye, little ones.”I waved Ladle goodbye as he slid over to the counter, pulled out a pair of knives from his sides and started to talk with the harpy blacksmith. A few minutes later he was walking out of the shop with a nod for the three of us.“How can I help ya?” the shopkeep asked.I smiled and placed my spade on the counter. “Ah, my spade broke,” I said. The harpy picked up the head, spun it around a few times, then scratched at the side of his nose with a talon. “Few dings and dents. And a decent hole here. Still mostly good. Handle is... well, that’s obvious, ain’t it? Right, three sil, five minutes.”“That fast?” I asked.“Yeah,” he said.Amaryllis huffed. “That means he can do it for cheaper.”This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.“Hey now,” the shopkeep said. “Don’t go trying to swindle me.”“Ah, I don’t mind the price,” I said. “But, um. Is there anything you can do to make it tougher? And maybe give it more, uh, combat uses.”“Combat... what’re ya on about?” I scratched the nape of my neck. “It’s not a spade for gardening. It’s a spade for fighting.”The blacksmith tilted his head to the side, the same sort of gesture Amaryllis did before calling me an idiot. “A combat spade? That’s different.”I shrugged. “We could pay more if you could make it better,” I said. “But, uh, it needs to still work with my Makeshift Weapon’s Proficiency.”The smith cawed. “That does complicate things. Give me a few minutes then.”We watched the harpy waddle off to the back of his shop where an open forge rested next to a bunch of tools. “You are awful at bargaining,” Amaryllis said.“I don’t really need the money that badly,” I countered. She huffed and walked off to stare at some of the things hanging off the walls. Awen sidled up closer to me. “Awa. Do you, um, think I could buy some tools?” she asked. “Tools?” I wondered. I wanted to smack myself a moment later. She was an engineer of sorts. Of course she wanted... needed tools. “Right, tools. I have a couple of gold we could use to buy some things.”“Awa, but isn’t that gold for your airship?” Awen asked.“Well, yeah, but if I ever hire you as mechanic, then you’ll need tools anyway, right?” I asked.“I, I suppose,” Awen said. “Thank you.”We moved around the shop, Awen picking out a few odds and ends, mostly tools that were smaller and that would fit into her bags. We ended up piling a few pliers, some tweezers, some compact hammers and a few other gadgets that I didn’t quite know the use of on the counter.The smith returned with my spade over one shoulder. “Here ya go. What’s this look like to you?”I gasped as I picked up my spade. The shaft was a little longer now, with a curvier handle at the end and an extra foot of pole to it. The head was reshaped just a little. One side now seemed much sharper and the other was serrated like a saw. There was also a metal band at the back to reinforce it a little.A reinforced warspade of uncommon quality, new.“Wow! You’re so fast,” I said.“Caw, just have a few decently levelled skills. Saves a lot of time,” he said. “Now, let’s settle.”Amaryllis was quick to stomp over, and what started as a bit of friendly haggling soon turned into a flurry of squawks and pomfing feathers as they argued over what they each considered a fair price.Awen and I stood off to the side, staring wide-eyed as the price dipped and climbed. I think that Amaryllis won in the end, because she looked very smug as she handed over half a dozen silver coins to a disgruntled shopkeep.“Don’t forget to tip,” I said.The looks switched.I ended up being dragged out onto the streets by a very unhappy Amaryllis while Awen held back some giggles. We were heading back towards Yoland’s shop, me poking at Amaryllis while she called me all sorts of variations of ‘idiot.’ Awen tailed after us, quiet, but she didn’t look unhappy in her silence, not with her little smile and the way she followed us with her gaze. I was hoping that we’d get to have a bit more fun, see the sights some more, then maybe go to the dungeon the next morning. A huge shadow raced across the square. Amaryllis’ complaining stopped, the entire town went deathly quiet. A sound, like sails snapping in the wind, echoed across the square, once, then twice.I heard gasps and saw heads turning up to the skies. A roar shook the air, windows rattled in their frames, people screeched in terror, horses neighed and I felt the sound pressing me down into the ground which shook in sympathy.A dragon has asserted its dominance. Your bravery is questioned.We were just next to the large square, bell tower rising above us, when the dragon landed.The tower crumpled, the bell spinning off to the side where it crashed into the ground with a resounding ‘dong!’ that made my ears ring. Feet with talons longer than I was tall dug into the stonework with all the ease of someone gripping an empty can of soda. Wings as wide as a bus flapped once, sending heavy gusts of air beating across the square. I shielded my eyes for just a moment before my attention was dragged back up to the creature standing tall and proud atop the ruins of the belltower like someone standing on a podium after getting an award. The morning sun bathed matte blue scales over a beige sternum. A head with a jaw large enough to chomp a cart in half rose and grinned down at the panicking crowds below. I had thought the wyvern in the last dungeon beautiful and intimidating, but the creature above me trumped all that a thousandfold.“Insight,” I muttered.A cocky juvenile blue dragon Thunder Hammer, level ???.The dragon chuckled, an unmistakable sound. “Kneel humans! For I, Rhawrexdee, have decided to become your overlord!” “We need to run,” Amaryllis said. “We need to run far and fast.”Awen, grabbed onto my side, her hands digging into me. She was trembling.“I am here to demand food! And tribute! And gold!” Rhawrexdee declared. “Become my servants and I will only feed upon the weakest of your number.”I carefully pried Awen’s hands off of my arm, then guided her over to Amaryllis’ side. “Amaryllis, take care of Awen please,” I said.“What? No! You moron!” Amaryllis said.But it was too late. If this dragon thought he could bully a whole town’s worth of happy people, he had another thing coming.
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Chapter Ninety-Seven — Enter the Dragon
Chapter Ninety-Seven — Enter the Dragon “And so, every day, upon the sun’s rise, you will gather what puny amount of gold you have collected and shall deposit it upon the ground where I may collect it at my leisure,” the blue dragon said.His voice was a deep, guttural rumble, like a rock inside a drying machine. I cleared my throat. “Hello, mister dragon,” I said.“And if you have any virgin princesses, they are now forfeit to me so that I may build myself a harem of such beings that will care for and polish my many scales,” Rhawrexdee continued. He was looking up, nose raised and chest puffed out.Did he not hear me? “Hey!” I screamed.The dragon paused, then he lowered his huge head down, neck stretching out behind, until his face hovered a dozen feet away from me. “Did you interrupt me?” he asked.“Ah... sorry about that,” I said. “Didn’t mean to be impolite.”“Oh, well, in that case it’s all well and good.”“Really? Neat!” I said.“Of course it isn’t!” he roared. “Who are you to interrupt the mighty Rhawrexdee? He who smote the clouds themselves? The thunder hammer! The scourge of the northern desert!” Lightning cracked ominously in the background.“Oh, that was kinda cool.” I shook my head and pretended that I didn’t see Amaryllis shaking her head off to the side, or the way Awen was trembling like a leaf. “I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch,” I said.Rhawrexdee turned his head to the side a little so that he could stare at me with one eye the size of my entire head. “I demanded virgin princesses. You do not smell like a princess... you smell like a...” The dragon sniffed the air once, then recoiled. “Riftwalker.”I crossed my arms. “Yeah, so what?”His eyes narrowed. “What do you want, little riftwalker?” he asked. I didn’t expect the dragon to actually be accommodating. “Uh. Well, I guess an apology? You scared all these people, and you broke their tower, which I’m pretty sure they worked hard to build.”“You think I would apologize?!” Rhawrexdee roared. “To little humans?”“Well, yeah,” I said. “You broke their stuff. I mean, did they ever do anything to you?” Maybe the folks around here had been rude. It wouldn’t excuse the destruction, but it explained part of it.“They failed to create a throne of gold upon which I could perch,” the dragon said. “That is sin enough, is it not? Even now, look, none of them are here grovelling at my feet. They hide and watch us speak like cowards. As if I would eat more than a few of them.”“You wanted to eat the townspeople?” I asked.“I’m a little peckish,” Rhawrexdee said.My mouth worked. “No! You can’t eat people!” “Oh, I assure you I can,” the dragon said.“I mean, physically, I’m sure you could, you’re a dragon so... duh, but it’s morally wrong,” I said.Rhawrexdee huffed, his breath washing over me and sending my hair flying back even as it filled the air with a scent of ozone. “Do you look down upon the wolf for eating a lamb?” he asked.“If the lamb can talk, then yeah,” I said.The dragon blinked. “Well I’m not a wolf and if I want to eat people you can’t stop me. I might even eat you, riftwalker or no.”“I won’t let just anyone eat me,” I warned. This entire conversation was going downhill, and fast. “You’re probably all bones anyway,” the dragon muttered. “How about, instead of eating people, we become friends?” I asked, both because being friends with a dragon would be totally awesome, and because I really wanted to activate my Friendmaking skill.RhawrexdeeDesired Quality: Someone who would help him find a girlfriendDream: To go on dates with a cute princessWhat. “Why would I want to be friends with the likes of you?” Rhawrexdee extended his head way back, the tower’s masonry creaking in protest to the motion. “You have already disrupted my monologue and have wasted my precious time. Perhaps I will eat you after all.” He grinned down at me, electrical sparks flashing between very sharp teeth.Then a bolt of lightning so bright it warred with the sun to illuminate the street crashed into the side of Rhawrexdee’s head with the force of a battering ram.The dragon’s head twitched to the side.“Broccoli, run!” Amaryllis screamed.“You dare!” Rharexdee screamed.My breath caught. I could only imagine the dragon snapping around and hurting my friend. The moment Rharexdee turned to face Amaryllis he paused. His nostrils twitched. I started to have a sinking feeling in the pit of my tummy. “A princess? A virgin princess?” Rhawrexdee said. His eyes narrowed onto Amaryllis. “A Thundere virgin princess... with wings.” His huge dragon-y head turned to face me. “Who is that woman?” he demanded to know.I clenched my hands into fists, then pointed right at him. “You can’t go on a date with Amaryllis, not unless she wants to,” I said.“Who are you to decide who I date? You’re not my mother!” Rhawrexdee said. He shook his head a moment later and seemed to refocus. “Answer my questions little riftwalker.”I crossed my arms. “Only if you promise to leave the town alone.”“I will promise no such thing!” he said.Amaryllis looked like someone caught between a dragon and a hard place. “Why aren’t you running, you daft moron?” she hissed. “I risked my tail feathers to distract that brute!” I had to remind myself that she could probably not understand the dragon’s language (which begged the question, why the monologue?) so she was still blissfully ignorant. “What did she say?” the dragon asked. “Did she compliment my fearsome, horny figure?” This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.I pressed my fingers against my temples and started to massage a blossoming headache away. I thought that negotiation with a dragon would be hard, but not this complicated. “Mister Rhawrexdee, I think we started off on the wrong foot. Can we start over?” The dragon stared at me for a moment, then glanced over to Amaryllis. “She’s your friend?” he asked.“My best friend,” I confirmed. “Her and Awen over there.”“Ah, the other one, yes. She has a near-princess-y smell to her, but it’s not quite there. Maybe after a coup or two.”“Right,” I said. “So... uh, can we come to some sort of agreement here?”“I am a dragon, I don’t need to negotiate.”“Well I’m a Cinnamon Bun, and I say that you need to or else... or else I’ll tell your mom that you were rude.”Rhawrexdee snapped his head back as if I’d slapped him. “You wouldn’t dare!” he growled.“Watch me, big guy. You can’t just fly into town and start bullying, and eating, people just like that. Not while I’m around.”The dragon growled, then he huffed again and shifted to the side a little. “We seem to be at an impasse then. I will conquer this town in order to grow my wealth so that I can impress any princesses I run across.”I shook my head. “Any girl that’s more impressed by your gold than by your personality just isn’t worth it,” I said.“Hrm. My mother said the same thing. How strange.”I looked around, spotted a chair behind one of the little kiosks and went to pick it up. A moment or two later I was folding my skirts under me as I sat down across from Rhawrexdee. “Okay. So, let’s see what we can make of this situation,” I said. Rhawrexdee watched me, especially when Amaryllis and Awen slowly, carefully, came to stand just behind me.“What’s going on?” Amaryllis asked. “We’re going to negotiate with the nice dragon,” I said. “So far, he has the fact that he’s a dragon on his side of the table. And we have the fact that I’m a riftwalker, that I could tell his mom that he’s rude, and that you’re a princess.”Amaryllis placed a hand on my shoulder. Then her grip tightened. “Broccoli,” she said as she leaned in. “You’re not using me as a bargaining chip with a dragon, right?”“I’d never do that!” I said.“How do you want to do this, little riftwalker?” Rhawrexdee demanded. I coughed to clear my throat. I couldn’t hear myself speak whatever language the dragon spoke-it all sounded like English to me-but I could tell it was growly by how hard it was on my vocal cords. “Right, let’s both tell each other what we want, and then we can work from there.”“I want all the town’s gold, and I want that princess,” Rhawrexdee said. He stomped a massive foot down, tearing another chunk of the tower off. “And I want tribute and my weight in cattle.”I nodded along. “Okay, okay, that’s a start. We want you to not take Amaryllis because doing that is wrong. Also, you can’t have the town’s gold. Or their cattle.”Rhawrexdee bellowed in rage. “Then I will take what I want!” he said.I shook my head. “Now now, mister Rhawrexdee, that would be very, very rude. We can negotiate. Like, um... I think I can get the townspeople to not make a fuss about the tower. We can call it an accident, I’m sure they’ll understand. And as for Amaryllis, um, give me a moment.”I turned to Amaryllis who started to glare at me. “Hey, Amaryllis, how do you feel about dating a dragon?”“No,” she said.“He is kind of handsome,” I needled. “Look at his chin.”“No,” she repeated, this time with wings crossed and a whole lot more emphasis.I shrugged. That was a no then. “What about helping the dragon with, uh, dating advice.”“Dating... advice?” Amaryllis repeated. “Yeah. We could all help!” “Awa, that, that sounds nicer than getting, um, eaten,” Awen said.I nodded, then tried puppy dog eyes on Amaryllis.She zapped me in the middle of the forehead. “Fine. We can help the dragon.”“She is very feisty, I like this,” Rhawrexdee said.I nodded to him. “She really is.” I wiggled on my seat to make myself comfortable, then prepared for the next part of my pitch. “Okay, so we’ve come up with a solution to all... most of your problems,” I said“I am listening.”“Amaryllis doesn’t want to date you,” I said. The dragon rocked back, eyes filling with hurt, and then anger. “But! But, she is willing to help you. And so am I... and Awen too.”“Help me how?” he demanded to know.“Simple! Amaryllis knows a bunch about nobility. Awen too. And I’m great with making friends! So, in exchange for not destroying the town, we’ll teach you how to date girls.” I pointed to Awen. “She’s even a wyrmgineer. I bet that would help in making you a nice suit for when you go on dates.”Rhawrexdee considered this. “I see. I don’t get the princesses now. But I learn how to get more princesses later.”“And you get to spend time with us!” I said. “We could become the best of friends, I’m sure!” He huffed. “Very well. Let us begin this training then.”“Ah, no. Not right now. We actually have a bunch of things that we need to do first,” I said. “We came here because we wanted to get a class for Amaryllis in the local dungeon. It was just good luck that we were around when you landed.”“How long will you make me wait?”I tapped my chin. “How about... uh, two days?” I asked. “We can meet just outside of town. It’ll give us time to do what we need to, and to prepare a, uh, training regimen.”I stared up at the dragon, my most friendliest smile on.I really hoped that my plan would work.
* * *
Chapter Ninety-Eight — Bun of Her Word
Chapter Ninety-Eight — Bun of Her Word The moment that Rhawrexdee took off and flapped away, I fell back into the chair I’d appropriated and felt my everything turning to jelly. “Whaa, that was a little scary,” I said.“A... a little scary,” Amaryllis repeated. “You absolute.... I don’t think my language has a word to express how stupid you are. I... well, you got rid of it, at least.”I looked at her. “Oh, you didn’t hear our bargain,” I said. Amaryllis tensed. “What bargain.”“Ah, heh, it’s a... funny idea I had.” Her eyes narrowed into dangerous little slits. “I’m listening.”“Well. I got Rhawrexdee to agree not to eat people if we, um, taught-him-how-to-woo-girls,” I said the last in a rush.Amaryllis went red, then she paled. “You want us to do what?!” she shrieked.“He’s mostly interested in princesses, so I might have to rely on your knowledge. Both of you, that is.”“Awa,” Awen said. “You, you want me to teach a dr-dragon? Not even uncle messed with dragons.”I shoved myself off the chair, shook a little to unlimber myself, then nodded. “Yup. We have two days to get ready before he shows up at the gate.”“So we have two days to run,” Amaryllis said as she slumped. “You had me going there, you idio-” she stared at me. She stared really hard. “You actually intend to go through with it?”“Well, I did say I would,” I said. “And I’m a bun of my word.”Amaryllis shielded her face with both hands as if she could hide from her new Broccoli-caused problems. I kinda felt bad about it. I hadn’t even told the girls my plan before putting it in motion. “Ah, shucks. Look, I’m sure you can stay back here and-” Amaryllis bapped me on the head with a bunch of feathers. “We need to hurry. I didn’t come all the way over to this hole just to get whisked away by some lovestruck dragon. C’mon. We can start our way through the dungeon now and finish it by nightfall.”“P-pardon me, ma’am?” someone said. We turned to see a potbellied man holding a bowler hat over his chest approaching us. “I’m the mayor and... ah, that dragon...”“We took care of it,” Amaryllis said. “It’ll be back in two days, so do try not to panic.”“Ah,” the mayor said. He looked on the verge of panicking. “We’ll take care of it then too. Now don’t get in our way.”“Yes ma’am!” he said before scurrying off.I took a moment to look around and finally noticed just how many people were staring, and whispering. I waved.Amaryllis wrapped her talons around my wrist and yoinked me forwards. “Come on you. I’m not done telling you, in explicit detail, how dumb you are.”“Aww, can’t we just skip that part?” I asked. “Being told I’m dumb a lot has got to be bad for my self-esteem.”“That might be a good thing,” Amaryllis said. “Look at Awen. Self-esteem of a dead fish, but she’s actually clever. There might well be a correlation here.”“Awa, a, a dead fish?” Awen squeaked.Amaryllis’ stride carried us past a group of plate-armoured adventurers that were quick to scramble out of our path, as if we had eaten the dragon instead of just bargained with it. “Is what I did really all that dumb?” I asked.Amaryllis was quiet for a bit, enough that we had crossed a few blocks before she answered. “Perhaps not. Dragons are... not the sort of creature people in their first tier deal with. That is, if you don’t count ‘being eaten’ as a way of dealing with them. They’re like natural disasters to most. When one comes you hunker down and hope for the best. Some nations have the power to fend off all but the most powerful dragons, and they’re not immortal, they can be defeated. But it’s always an expensive endeavor.”“Okay,” I said. “But we didn’t fight Rhawrexdee, we bargained with him.”“Yes. That’s also a solution. But one usually carried out by teams of diplomats with armed escorts, not some dimensionally displaced country bumpkin and her two friends who don’t know any better.”“So what we did?” “What you did,” Amaryllis corrected. “I’m taking none of the blame if it goes wrong and a third of the praise if it works.”I huffed. “Meanie.”Amaryllis grinned back at me, and I knew that she wasn’t quite as angry as I had feared she might be. We spun around a corner and found ourselves right before Yoland’s shop. The old woman was standing outside and leaning on a cane. Her eyes widened on seeing us. “Is it true?” she asked.“Ah, hello, and is what true?” I wondered.“You scared off a dragon?” she asked with barely concealed awe.“How did you learn that so fast?” I asked. “And we didn’t scare it off. We had a polite conversation and I suggested it come back later.”“World’s will,” the woman said. “Um. We kind of need our things,” I said. “If it’s not too much trouble. We’ll pay even if you’re not entirely done.”That snapped Yoland back to attention. “You’ll do no such thing, child. The experience I gained from working on mastercraft items, and the money I’d lose if that beast burned down the town, why, I can’t have you paying. Though I would appreciate you dropping a word about the fine work you purchased at Old Yoland’s.”Grinning, I followed the woman into her shop.
* * *
It had taken us nearly half an hour to get everything sorted and ready, a half hour that Amaryllis had spent frowning and fretting. When we finally left (with a polite wave back to the nice older lady) Amaryllis led us straight south towards the far walls of the city.“Rosenbell is built on the edge of a cliff. It’s a pretty popular place to build a city nowadays. Easy access for airships, a good natural defence, and it allows you to see from afar. In this case it also acts as a barrier against the winds from Silver Salt Bay.” She shook her feathery head. “The geography lesson isn’t important. The point is, the dungeon is at the base of these cliffs.”Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!“I think it’s neat,” I said as I jogged a bit to keep up with Amaryllis. “Ah, why are we running?” “We’re not running, we’re walking with efficiency,” Amaryllis said.Awen looked like she wanted to say something, but her face was red and she was puffing a bit. “Amaryllis, slow down. Why are you in such a hurry?” I asked.My harpy friend huffed, but she did slow down a bit. “What you did back there will attract a lot of attention. Not all of it good. Most of it will be... ambivalent at best. If we can disappear for a day things will calm down considerably. The dungeon is an opportunity to do just that.”“And you want to level up too,” I guessed.Amaryllis huffed and stomped on ahead. I giggled, grabbed Awen by the hand, and pulled her along with me.We arrived at a short wall at the southernmost end of the city. There was half a dozen meters of opened ground between the nearest house and the wall, with nothing bigger than a garden or two occupying the space. Beyond the wall I could make out gantries and the complicated machines used to maintain and dock airships. Amaryllis pointed to an arch in the wall, one that wasn’t even guarded.We stepped through and onto a wooden walkway that stretched out over the edge of a cliff. “Whoa,” I said as I looked down to the plains far below. “Awa, it reminds me of home,” she said. “Look. They have a dock here too.” She pointed off to the side where half a dozen or so airships were parked in one of those strange vertical parking ports that I had been seeing ever since Port Royal. The ships docked here were noticeably smaller though, and none of them seemed like they were equipped for anything worse than a bit of harsh wind. Merchant ships.“Stop gawking.” Amaryllis said. “There’s a lift over there.” She pointed to a little lift next to a kiosk where a young man was reading from a book. He looked up when we approached and set his book aside. “Heya,” he said. “Which level? And, uh, did you see where everyone went? The guards ran off in a tizzy.”“Which level leads to the dungeon?” Amaryllis asked.“Four, ma’am,” he said. “That’ll be three cop each.” Amaryllis slapped a silver coin on the counter before him. “There was a dragon,” I said. The boy fumbled his coin, barely snatching it before it could plunge over the cliff. “Don’t worry. We took care of it.”“R-right,” he said. “Uh. Keep all limbs in the lift and try not to shift too much, please.”We climbed aboard the lift, which was little more than a sort of basket with a steel frame and wicker walls. A motor puffed to life behind the kioske and we were lowered down at about the same pace a very tired snail might move. “Not very subtle, are you?” Amaryllis said.“I’m plenty subtle,” I said.She snorted. “Oh, really?” I nodded. “Didn’t you see how subtly I slid into your best friend slot?” I asked.Amaryllis glared at me, then paused as if to actually think on what I’d said. “No. I refuse to believe that was on purpose.”I grinned and hung onto the edge of the lift as it slowly wobbled its way down past a few other levels of the small docks. Things were moving pretty fast, but that was alright. I was certain we’d find some time to take a break once we were in the dungeon proper. There hadn’t been any quest alerts about this one, so perhaps it wasn’t infected or anything like that and I was going to get to experience my first utterly normal dungeon run. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t getting a little excited. Awen was shifting by my side, and even Amaryllis was looking impatient... more impatient as our lift finally rumbled to a stop. The level didn’t seem to have any access to ships or anything of the sort. Instead there was a wooden walkway that led into a large bore-hole like cavern dug into the side of the cliff.A large steel gate was barring the path into the tunnel with a sign hanging before it.ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISKDungeon Begins Beyond This Point-Council of Rosenbell“Is it locked?” I asked.“It had better not be,” Amaryllis muttered a moment before she tugged at the gate. It swung opened with a faint squeal of metal on metal. “I guess not.”Looking back over my shoulder, I took in one last look of the bright and cheery afternoon skies over the desert behind me. A deep breath carried the scent of festival foods and oils all the way over to me. Then I turned and stepped after my friends. “Look.” Amaryllis said. She was pointing to a rack to one side. Just a metal pole with two little handkerchiefs tied to it. “Two teams are in there already.”“Should we do the same?” I asked. “I’ve got some cloth.”Amaryllis nodded. “Give it to me first.”Awen was the first to react, pulling a little scarf from the pockets of her jacket, the same one Amaryllis had given her when we entered the edges of the desert a couple of days back. Amaryllis hummed as she tied it in a knot around the pole, then she pinned her Exploration Guild pin to the bottom. “There, now let’s go clear a dungeon.”You are Entering The Palace of StringsLevels 5-7Your entire party has entered the DungeonThis Dungeon is Occupied. Share an Instance?
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Chapter Ninety-Nine — What is a Normal Adventurer?
Chapter Ninety-Nine — What is a Normal Adventurer? “So, uh,” I said as I looked at the menu floating before me. You are Entering The Palace of StringsLevels 5-7Your entire party has entered the DungeonThis Dungeon is Occupied. Share an Instance? “What do we do?” I asked.Amaryllis hummed. She seemed to have calmed down a little now that we were in the dungeon and far away from all the people in the town above. Was it still above now that we were in a dungeon? The last dungeon certainly didn’t fit in the place where we had been, and the Wonderland dungeon was really weird too.“I think,” she said, cutting off my woolgathering. “That we can join whichever instance is already running. Our goal is the boss, nothing else. Having more people around would just shorten the time to get to that objective.”“Awa, I wanted to, um, practice with my crossbow a little too. And, and my glass magic, I think I’m getting there,” Awen said.Amaryllis shook her head. “The bow is fine. The magic... less so. We’ll have to pick up some books on the subject later.”“Ah, okay,” Awen said.“Did that book I gave you help?” I asked.Awen nodded. “Yes, a little. I slept on it too.”“Right,” I said. “Kinda forgot that was a thing.”Amaryllis sighed. “Please focus just a little bit, please. We are about to enter a hostile environment. This dungeon has no delve room. And there are others in it already.” She made a gesture in the air and Mister Menu’s prompt poofed from the corner of my vision.Spinning on a heel, Amaryllis led us deeper into the rocky tunnel of the Palace of Strings. Within a dozen steps the rock walls changed. Roots poking out from above like skeletal hands and the walls were more packed dirt than solid stone. The tunnel grew a little tighter and we had to duck out of the path of what looked like entire tree trunks covered in mud and dirt. And then the tunnel ended and we carefully stepped out onto an open lawn.A red quarter moon hung just over the horizon, casting a faint reddish glow across grounds that were sparsely illuminated by the twinkling stars above.Ankle-high grass filled a huge field surrounded by woods so thick and dark and foreboding that just looking at them gave me Scooby-doo flashbacks. In the centre of the field was a huge mansion that looked like something out of an old Dracula movie. Big windows with flickering yellow lights within, gargoyles on each corner of the roof, and a hedge wall twice as tall as I was all around what I could see of the building.“The book said that the first floor is that hedge maze,” Amaryllis said. “The second begins on entering the building proper.” She was whispering, and I saw her squinting at the sky as a flight of tiny bats flitted by.“Spooky!” I cheered as I started to walk towards the hedge maze. “I really should have spent more time learning that light ball spell, It’d come in handy here,” I said as I raised a hand and pushed some mana into it until it glowed. Not enough to really illuminate my surroundings by much, but it did help.“Awa!” Awen said as she jogged up behind me and pulled up her crossbow so that it was aiming out ahead of us. “I’m, ah, not used to the dark.”Amaryllis sighed and raised her own hand, a bright ball of light sparking to life in it. “You have no gravitas. And Broccoli, there’s a light on your hat.”“Oh, right!” I said. I’d forgotten about that. A push of mana towards my hat and the rune light I’d tied around the brim a while back lit up the world ahead of me. “Thanks Amaryllis!” “I swear, I feel like a mother sometimes,” Amaryllis said.“You’d make a great mom, I’m sure!” I said.She whapped me so hard my hat went flying. “I-idiot!” I laughed as I fetched my hat. “Sorry. Didn't know that was something you were sensitive about.”“I am in no way... nevermind! Let’s just move ahead. I’d like to get this over before sunset.” She glared when I started to point towards the darkened skies. “Don’t start.”Our moods were pretty high as we reached the opening of the hedge maze. They dipped soon after.There were spiders there. Huge things, the size of dobermans with big fuzzy bottoms and fangs the size of my forefingers. The spiders were all piled up to the sides where they were slowly smoking and fading away.“What happened here?” I asked as I held my spade by the very end of the handle and poked one of the spiders. It didn’t so much as twitch.“The others in the dungeon, perhaps,” Amaryllis said. “They can’t have been here for too long, the corpses aren’t gone yet.”I looked at the smoke wafting off the bodies. It was taking longer than usual, eating away at the body inch by inch. “Strange,” I said.“Keep your eyes open,” Amaryllis said.We moved into the maze, eyes and lights twisting this way and that to take in as much as we could. The area smelled like decomposing leaves, a faint tang of rot that grew stronger the deeper in we went. Our lights didn’t seem to illuminate all that far, not as much as they should have.Leafy walls surrounded us on all sides, their tops swaying in an unfelt wind.“Wow, this place is really scary,” I noted.“Awa,” Awen whimpered.I sighed and pulled her into a sidelong hug. “Just because something is scary, doesn’t mean you should be scared of it. It’s usually the things you don’t know about that are the scariest, I think, but that also means you’re worrying about something that might not be there at all.”“Are, are you sure?” Awen asked. I nodded. “Yep. Not worrying about things you have no control over is my number one way not to pee myself while watching horror movies.” I gave her a reassuring thumbs-up.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.“What’s a movie?” she asked.“Girls, ahead,” Amaryllis said.There were more spiders. Not all of them were dead.Two of the big beasties were wrangling something invisible in the air, spider webs, maybe? Another three were skittering back as little thumbnail-sized balls of fire darted through the air and pelted the ground around them.“Insight,” I said as I stared at the spider.An overwhelmed Manweaver, level 5.I stepped up and prepared to smack the first spider to reach us with my shovel. I needn’t bother. Awen’s crossbow twanged and one of the spiders flew off and smacked into the far hedge with a meaty ‘thwunk.’Then Amaryllis reached out a hand and made a casual little shoo-ing gesture. Crackling bolts of electricity raced out ahead and fried the two remaining spiders, then two further away who were tugging at something unseen.I almost felt bad when one of them stumbled close enough that I could smack it. It hardly took more than a bop to the head to kill it.Congratulations! You have put Manweaver, level 5, out of its misery. Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!We paused as whatever was throwing fire around stopped. Then, from the bushes ahead, came a masculine voice. “Is anyone there?” I looked to the others. “Was that in... whatever language you speak normally?” I asked.“Yes, it was,” Amaryllis said. “Hello there!” she called out. “Are you the delvers who started this instance?” “Maybe? Who’s asking?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “We’re from the Exploration Guild.”Three boys-men, really-stepped out from around the corner. One was wearing simple leather armour with some cloth beneath it and he held a staff by his side. The team’s mage, maybe? The other two were entirely different. The biggest of the lot was a handsome enough man with a nice chin and armour like a fantasy barbarian. He would have been nicer if he wasn’t covered in webbing. Next to him was a man in thick full plate, only his lower face visible from under his bell-shaped helmet. He had a little capelet with a strange symbol on the front, like two hands holding.“Ah,” the mage said. “Hello? I didn’t... we didn’t expect to have any company this afternoon. Especially not from such pretty young ladies.”“Aww, thanks!” I said. “I hope you don’t mind us just showing up.” “Me? Never,” he said with what he probably thought was a roguish grin. “I’m Eli, the thick lug behind me here is Boots.” The barbarian looking guy cheerfully waved a battleaxe at us. “And the healer back there is Percy. Don’t let the name fool you, he’s not as big an ass as he sounds at first.”“See if I heal you next time you show up with an itchy crotch complaining about lumps,” Percy said.“Not in front of the ladies,” Eli hissed. “Ah, well,” I said before I cleared my throat. “I’m Broccoli Bunch, These are my friends, Awen Bristlecone and Amaryllis Albatross. And this is my kitten friend, Orange!” My friends waved or nodded seriously when I named them. Orange glared, but she was a cat so that was okay. “We’re here to fight the boss, but I’d love to make friends too!” EliDesired Quality: Pretty, female.Dream: To have intercourse with more women than anyone else.“I’d love to be your friend,” Eli said.“Ah, no,” I said. “I mean... friends are okay, but I don’t do any of... that kind of stuff. Only after marriage.”“Awa? What kind of stuff?” Awen asked.I felt my cheeks warming. “Nevermind that,” I said with a wave. “Um... Amaryllis, help?”“You doofus,” she muttered before stepping up. “What’s your goal here?” she asked the three delvers.The boys looked between each other, and apparently decided to elect Eli as their spokesperson. “We’re just doing our job? Our team has been here for a month now, diving once a day. The spider parts aren’t worth much, but the dresses dropped on the third floor go for a fair price.”“Cool,” I said. “We’re just here for today.”“Indeed,” Amaryllis said. “Are we interfering with your dive?” “Not exactly,” Eli said, he became a little more serious. “Not yet anyway. We haven’t reached the second floor just yet. The maze shifts a bit every day. But if you pass us, then we’ll lose out on any loot drops.”I looked to Amaryllis. There was a question in her eyes and it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. “Up to you,” I said.She nodded. “If we accompany you, we can help clear the monsters and you can keep the loot. It might make things faster for you.”“We’re not here to map things,” Eli said. “We’re moving quickly.”“We’re here for the boss, that’s all,” Amaryllis said.Eli hummed. “Well, we’re not getting any more out of killing the local beasties. We’ve all chopped our share of spiders. We probably won’t level for months at this rate, so one lost day... still, we’ll be escorting you, which puts us at risk.”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Three sil.”Eli grinned. “Each.”“In your dreams,” Amaryllis said. “One each. Not a cop more.”Coins were tossed over to Eli who snapped them out of the air. He even bit into one, which couldn’t be sanitary. “That’s a deal,” he said. “Welcome to Rosenbell Delve Team Two, ladies.”“Alrighty!” I cheered. “So now where do we go?” Eli swept his arms through the air like a conductor at a circus. “Right this way,” he said. “Let’s show you the wonders of the Palace of Strings.”“And the horrors,” Percy said.“And the fights!” Boots cheered. I looked at my friends and we all seemed to choose to go along with it for now. I hoped for the best, but kept my spade close, just in case.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred — No Strings Attached
Chapter One Hundred — No Strings Attached Delver Team Two, that is, Eli, Percy and Boots, worked together like a well-oiled machine.It had become obvious the first time we were ambushed by Manweaver spiders in the hedges and they formed a quick triangle to lay down some literal fire on the beasties. It became impossible to miss when we entered the second floor.Calling a dozen long corridors lined with empty rooms and a ceiling so far above that none of our lights could reach it a floor was a little strange, but that was the nomenclature the delvers used, so we stuck to it.“Knights ahead,” Eli said.Boots ran up a few steps, his heavy plate boots clunking on the wooden floor until he was half a dozen steps ahead and held his axe at the ready before him. Percy stepped back and Eli moved behind Boots and to the side, his staff pointing ahead towards the end of the corridor.We... didn’t move so fluidly. I skipped ahead to be next to Boots, Amaryllis stepped up behind me with her magic sparking at the air around us, and Awen stumbled to a stop a little ways behind her. “What can you tell us?” Amaryllis asked as she peered ahead.There was a deep thumping noise coming from around a bend in the corridor, one that was growing louder.“Knights. Big bastards. Level seven. Toughest mob in the dungeon after the boss,” Eli said. "If you can aim for the strings above them and cut them off, they’re finished, but anything less and they’ll just keep coming.”“That sounds annoying,” I said.“If you make enough noise, the first knight will attract the second and third. It’s usually best to tackle them one at a time,” Eli said.And then three knights walked around the corner.I felt my neck craning back as I took them in. Each of the knights was ten feet tall, a skeletally thin body stretching up in a way that looked more grotesque than lanky. They wore thick plate armour all across their body, and two of them carried shields and swords. The third, who hung back a little, had a sword that was longer than I was tall gripped in its spiked gauntlets.Their pitch-black armour made their details hard to pick out in the darkened corridor. I pushed some mana into my runelight to fix that and immediately regretted it.Bloody rags were sticking out of their armour and their helmets, which only covered half their faces, revealed rotting jaws and empty eye-sockets. “Oh, nasty,” I said. “Insight.”A Black Marionight, level seven.“Damn,” Eli said. “We should retreat.”I stared. Amaryllis stared. Even Awen stared at him.“What?” he asked. “We didn’t come down here to die. We only fight when things are weighed in our favour.”“But there are seven of us and three of them,” I said. “And we’re better levelled. Can’t we at least try?”“That’s the spirit!” Boots cheered. “C’mon Eli, we’ve taken two at once before.”“Only in a pinch,” Eli said. “You said focus the string, right?” I asked. “I can probably get to them if they’re above the knights.”Amaryllis sighed. “They’re moving closer,” she said. “Close your eyes for a bit.”I slapped my hands over my ears and saw Awen doing the same a moment before the corridor filled with light and noise.When I opened my eyes again it was to see the three knights stumbling forwards, little electric currents buzzing across their armour. “I’m on them!” I said.A burst of stamina to my legs and I was off, soaring up and high above the knights before gravity did its thing and I started to fall towards the forward-most knight. I spotted the cords Eli had talked about just as I landed onto the knight’s pauldron.The reaction was instantaneous. He immediately started stabbing upwards with his big sword, and the knight at the back did the same, lunging up at me with his big two-hander. For all that they were fast, I was faster. It was child’s play to duck one sword and step onto the other so that I could use it as a pad to bounce onto the first knight’s head. The cords holding him up were thin, near translucent things. I chopped at one with the sharp edge of my spade and all it did was reverberate like a guitar string.“Annoying,” I said.“Magic it first!” Amaryllis said.I shrugged and turned on my cleaning magic aura. It was a weird sort of spell, one that made the world around me more... mine, and also more clean. I saw the rust flaking off the knight’s armour and the flesh left on its bones turned to dust and was swept away. The lines hanging in the air glowed a little.My next swing of my spade snapped through half a dozen wires. The knight started to collapse.I hopped off just as the other wires gave out under the knight’s weight and it came crashing down as a pile of armour and bones.I felt Mister Menu congratulating me for the kill, but dismissed it for the moment.The second knight charged at me, shield held before it and sword already mid-swing to try and take my head off. I still had plenty of time to jump out of the way, but it turned out that wasn’t needed.A foot-long bolt appeared in the knight’s knee. Its leg crumpled, but it still raised its arm for a stab.Awen’s crossbow reloaded with a heavy ‘crunch-crank.’ A second bolt punched into the knight’s elbow, locking it in place.It would have fallen all the way, but its strings held it up from behind, like someone tugging at a girl’s hair. It didn’t look all that comfortable.“Hah! These girls have spunk!” Boots said as he raced ahead. His axe glowed a moment before he swept it through the strings holding the knight up. It fell with a heavy clunk.And then there was one.The final knight stood tall and proud, its sword spinning by its side with heavy whooshes of displaced air. That’s why when I jumped I aimed for his other side. Another burst of magic and a few quick strikes of my spade and the knight came crashing down just like its comrades bringing me down with it.I cheered as I landed in a roll then bounced to my feet. “That was easy!” Congratulations! You have snipped Marionight, level 7’s life thread. Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!
* * *
Eli grumbled a little as he led us to the next floor. Still, he and his friends were out ahead, which meant I could talk to Amaryllis and Awen in peace. “It is just me, or is this dungeon really easy so far?”“It’s a very young dungeon,” Amaryllis said. “Give it a few years to find some tricks and maybe grow a few more floors and its difficulty will ramp up.”“Yeah, but... what levels are the delvers at?” Amaryllis peered ahead, then shrugged. “Between twelve and fourteen for their main classes.”“And they don’t feel as... strong as us,” I said. “Or maybe not strong, but... uh.”“They’re cautious. They take their time, they plan things out, and they don’t take undue risks. In short, they’re smart. In five or so years, after switching dungeons a few times, they’ll hit their next evolution. That’s how most people do things.”“Ah, but we don’t.”“You don’t. Because you’re a headstrong moron that runs into trouble around every corner and who somehow managed to not get herself killed yet.” Amaryllis sighed. “People like you either die tragically, or become like Abraham.”“Broccoli will be like uncle?” Awen asked. “Awa.”Amaryllis huffed. “Most die. Which is why you really ought to learn to stop jumping ahead so much,” Amaryllis said.“Here we are,” Eli said before I had time to really think about what Amaryllis said. I filed it in the back of my mind for later. It was worth thinking over, especially if my dying made my friends sad. “Welcome to floor three.”He pushed a pair of large double-doors aside to reveal a ball room. Pillars lined the edges of the room, intricate windows behind them letting red moonlight pour into the room to splash off of mirror-polished marble floors. A staircase took up most of the far wall, leading up to a balcony on the second floor with a huge gilded door before it. “The dolls will be arriving soon,” Eli said. “Just let them burn.”“I hate this part,” Percy said.We stepped into the room and let the doors pull themselves shut behind us. The boys didn’t seem nervous, so I decided that it was probably okay.The dolls Eli had been talking about appeared as the large door a floor above opened. They glided down the steps, ten beautifully crafted porcelain dolls with ball gowns that swept around them and that seemed to float just barely above the ground.They were all about a head shorter than me, with delicate hands folded together over their tummies, and beautiful lacey frills all across their skirts. “Pretty,” I said. “Insight?”A Dancing Doll, level five.“Do you wish to dance?” the doll in the lead asked. It tilted its head to the side.Eli turned to us. “If you dance with them, you get to pass to the bossroom. That is, if you’re an alright dancer. But we don’t want that. Don’t get stabbed.” Eli raised a hand, and before I could object a gout of almost liquid fire lanced out towards the lead doll.The doll screeched and batted at its burning skirts before it went up in flames and fell to the ground, quite dead.“Why?” I asked. The only answer I received was to have an angry doll rush towards me. Two long blades, mounted on mechanical limbs, folded out of the sides of its dress and started to stab at me.I ducked the first, batted the second aside with my spade, then stepped up to the doll before the first could come back around to hit me. The doll stepped back, flowing with me in what was obviously a dancing step.That ended when I hopped to the air and kicked the doll’s head off.“Awa!” Awen said as she blocked a blade with her crossbow, then skipped back to avoid a second. One doll was already dead by her feet, a bolt lodged in its head.I bounced over to Awen and tackled the doll harassing her out of the way. Amaryllis, for her part, was standing over a pile of dolls torn apart by cracking whips of electricity. One last shot from Awen’s crossbow into the doll’s head, and the room went quiet. Ten dolls died in twice as many seconds.Congratulations! You have danced Dancing Doll, level 5, off the mortal coil. Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.“What the heck?” I asked.Eli had the good grace to rub at the back of his neck. “Heh, sorry about that. I should have explained a little better. The dolls get impatient though.”“Two dresses this time,” Percy said as he bent over double and pulled a white gown off the floor as if it was a pile of rags instead of a beautiful lacy dress. He stuffed it in a satchel and wandered off to pick up a second dress from a fading doll.“Right, come along girls. The boss room is right this way. You’ll get to meet the puppet king!”I frowned at Eli’s back as he and Boots began to climb the stairs at the far end of the room. “Didn’t like that, did you?” Amaryllis asked.“No, no I didn’t,” I said.She patted me on the shoulder. “That’s how delvers do things. Profits first, safety second, adventure never.”I nodded. I was glad I was an explorer then.
* * *
The hall we entered, the last floor of the dungeon according to the boys, was a vast room. Longer than it was wide, the hall was illuminated by crystal chandeliers held up by chains hooked to the sides and little sconces mounted to the twenty or so floor-to-ceiling pillars that lined the sides of the room all the way up to the dias at the end.A throne waited in the distance, a thin man slumped onto it, one leg over an arm and his body slouched to the side like someone watching TV on a saturday morning. He, because the cut of his richly decorated clothes said ‘boy’ was wearing a too-big crown that was tipped so far forwards that it masked his eyes.“Is that the boss?” I asked.“Sorta,” Eli said. “That’s the boss puppet.”I fired an Insight at the man on the throne instead of trying to pry answers from Eli.The Puppet King.No level or anything. Weird. “Where’s the actual boss, then?” Amaryllis asked. Eli gestured to an empty spot near the ceiling above. “You can’t see it yet. Once the king starts to fight you’ll catch glimpses of it. The idea is you knock the king down, and it’ll swoop down to help it up. That’s when you hit it. It’s a pretty easy, if intense fight.”“The king is fast,” Boots warned. “And his arms have swords in them. Bunch of nasty tricks to him.”“Interesting,” Amaryllis said. She cracked her head from side to side. “Well, I’m ready.”I bounced on the balls of my feet a few times as I took in the room. There were a bunch of pillars all around, so I had lots of room to maneuver. “Yeah, me too,” I said.“Awa, me, me too!” Awen said as she hugged her crossbow close. “Um. I don’t have too much ammo left.”“Right, let’s start this thing,” Eli said as he stomped ahead.When our little group was about halfway down the room, the doors to the throne room clunked shut behind us and the puppet on the throne shifted. Its head rolled until it was looking down at us from below the lip of its crown. Its mouth, which was made of two pieces of delicately carved wood shaped like lips, snapped up into a smile. “Get ready,” Eli said as he brought his staff up before him.The delvers shifted into a sort of triangular defence, eyes locked with the king.I had a question on the tip of my tongue when, with the suddenness of a mouse trap going off, the king sprung out of his seat. My eyes widened. I raised my spade just in time to block a spinning kick aimed right at my face. The king bounced off, cartwheeled twice, then landed in a crouch. I saw his placid marble eyes look at me for just a moment before they shifted over to Awen who was behind and to my right.I intercepted him mid-jump with a shoulder-tackle. It was barely enough to get him to move out of his path. The king bounced once off the ground, then his arms shot out, extending with twin ‘clacks’ of wood on wood. Two blades, like tiny scythes, tore out of his wrists and skittered across the marble floor until he came to a stop.Awen’s crossbow twanged, a bolt slicing through the air so fast it was hard to see.The king’s entire body twisted back and the bolt flew past to lodge into the far wall.The fight hadn’t lasted more than three seconds and I was already nervous.“Keep your eyes on him!” Eli shouted.Boots shifted out of their formation, axe spinning in one hand. “Come on, cinnamon girl, let’s show that noble who the real kings are, yeah?”“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.Boots’ reply was to roar with laughter as he charged ahead, his axe rising into the air above only to come crashing down so hard and fast that when it hit the ground, the floor cratered.The king, of course, was having none of that. The puppet spun around, arms moving as if they had far too many joints and leaving after-images in the air. Boots smacked one blow aside, then parried another with his axe. The king twisted around and to the side to dip under Boots’ guard. One of his sickle-like blades sliced across Boot’s exposed ribs. The big man winced and stepped back, but the king didn’t let up.I shot ahead, spade stabbing forwards like a spear only for it to be tapped aside by the king’s raised foot. I still had tricks up my sleeves though, and I fired a burst of stamina that had me shooting off to one side for only as long as it took for my foot to touch the ground again before I shot back towards the king from a different angle.The king dodged again, but he looked to be off balance, his leg stretched out at an awkward angle. Then he fell onto his bum as I swiped the air where he had been.I blinked, looked down, and only just managed to hop out of the way of his rising foot. A foot with a three-inch blade sticking out of it. I was in midair when the king’s smile turned into a frown. His jaw unhinged, revealing a pipe sticking out of his mouth.“Poison!” Eli shouted.The king spat out thick off-white fog from his mouth. It met a wall of cleaning magic that made it evaporate out of the air. The king’s jaw snapped shut. He did not look pleased. Before he could do anything about that, a dozen small, fist-sized fireballs raced past where he was, and the king was soon busy dancing out of their way like someone dancing the robot to speedmetal.Awen fired her crossbow. The king snatched the bolt out of the air, and with a spin flung the bolt towards Amaryllis.My bird friend side-stepped it. “Yeah, no. Enough of this,” she said.I slapped my hands over my ears. The room filled with light, growing warm even as a deep electric hum resonated in my bones and the air began to smell like ozone. “Can’t dodge that, can you?” Amaryllis asked. She was wearing a smug grin. It was probably deserved. The puppet king had a foot-wide hole blown through his chest and his wooden arms and head were all smoking. Even his royal clothes had taken a beating, some of it smouldering away.The puppet crashed to the floors, its strings cut.“Was that all?” Amaryllis asked.“Dammit,” Eli shouted. “You’re not supposed to kill the puppet!” “Huh?” I asked.My attention was drawn up by a flash of motion above. There, hovering by the ceiling, was a large cross. Two wooden planks as wide around as I was, each end covered in little hands pinching at torn ropes, and in the joint in the centre, two dozen mis-matched chameleon-like eyes that were twitching every which way.“Insight,’ I said.The Puppet Master of the Palace of Strings, level 8.“It’s above!” I said.It was too late. Thin cords whipped down and snaked around Boots’ arms and legs and neck. The man’s eyes went wide a moment before he started running towards his friends. “I can’t move!” he said as he swung his axe around to try and decapitate Percy.The healer ducked under the swing, turned tail, and started running while screaming a whole host of impolite things. Boots never let up, occasionally swinging his axe as he went.Amaryllis aimed her arm up. Some of the eyes twitched her way. The arc of lightning that snapped out of her shot through the spot the monster had been in only seconds before. Boots yelped as he was dragged to the side by the trailing strings.Amaryllis growled and fired off three more blasts of lightning, but the boss monster was quick and agile, spinning out of their way each time, even when Eli joined in and started flinging fireballs up at the ceiling.Then one of Awen’s bolts thudded into the centre of the cross and the entire thing went nuts, bouncing off walls and butting up against the ceiling. When it came down and tried to buzz over our heads, I jumped up and landed on its back. My weight made it veer down, and the entire thing crashed into the floor for a moment before it started to lift. “Oh no,” I admonished the boss before smacking it with the sharp edge of my spade. It took a bloody gouge into the wood.Boots, who had recovered from his little ordeal, rushed over and smacked the boss back down with a dull thud of his axe. Then Awen came, her crossbow set aside so that she could wield her hammer in both hands. “Raa!” she roared with the ferocity of a yawning puppy.Ding! Ding! Ding! Congratulations, you have defeated Dungeon Boss: The Puppet Master of the Palace of Strings, level 8! For defeating a Dungeon boss, bonus exp is gained! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“It’s done!” I cheered. Dungeon Cleared! All adversaries with The Palace of Strings Defeated.All Bosses DefeatedBroccoli Bunch, Cinnamon bun, level 9 is awarded the Puppeteer class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Puppeteer?Replacing your current class will reset your level 0.“No thanks!” I told mister menu. “Amaryllis, you got your class!” I said.“Indeed,” Amaryllis siad. She looked extra smug as she stared off into space. Then she blinked a few times and the smug was replaced by a more normal smile. “Thanks, by the way. I think I’ll be having a lot of fun with this one.”I was about to reply when a new prompt filled my vision.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 10!Health + 5Stamina +10Mana +5Resilience +10Flexibility +10 Magic +5You have gained: One Class PointYou are now eligible for Class Evolution! “Oooh!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and One — Evolution
Chapter One Hundred and One — Evolution I had a list of possible evolutions to choose from, a whole lot of juicy things to dig into. But, unfortunately, I didn’t have the time just then.The delve team were sniffing about, looking for loot drops by the boss and looking increasingly disappointed as their search found nothing. The girls were focused on their own thing. Awen had a small piece of glass that she was focusing on and Amaryllis was... shocking herself? That was a problem for later.The pillars along the edges of the room were now housing two portals. One exiting just beyond the dungeon and the other...I walked over to the dungeon’s core room and stared within. This one looked like a sort of empty treasury, with the dungeon core sitting on a velvety cushion atop a stone plinth, A step into the room and I was flooded with fresh mana that made my fingertips twitch. No roots, evil or otherwise.I was grinning as I stepped out of the core room.“You’re not supposed to go in there,” Percy said. He had removed his helmet, revealing a surprisingly handsome twenty-something boy with nice blonde hair plastered to his head and an okay chin.“I didn’t touch anything,” I said.He harrumphed and tucked his helmet under one arm. “We’re leaving in a bit.”“Right!” I said.Eli and Boots were packing things up in a few smaller bags, they didn’t seem to carry much with them into the dungeon, probably because they stayed in Rosenbell and didn’t need to bring all sorts of supplies in. “Alright,” Eli said as he stood up and stretched. “We’re done here. It was a real pleasure working with you ladies.”“It was fun,” I said. “Will we be seeing you in town?”“You can see me whenever and however you want,” Eli said.I took a moment to register that, then turned to Amaryllis. “I think it’s time we go.”We left the portal with only the sound of Boots’ roaring laughter and Percy’s disappointed sigh behind us.The air outside the dungeon hit like a wall of warmth, sucking all the humidity away in only a few short seconds. I hadn’t noticed how dry it was around Rosenbell. Then again, we had walked over, getting acclimated as we moved. “Where to?” I asked.“An inn,” Amaryllis said. “Then... perhaps a bookstore after? I hope that this town has at least one. There are some little things I’d like to look up.”“Brilliant!” I said. “I’m gonna be looking at my stats and such while we move, alright?”“I, I can lead you,” Awen said. “By-by the hand. As we walk. By holding your hand. In mine.”“Sure!” I said. “Usually I’d ask for a piggyback ride, but that might be too much, huh?”“Awa. I... I wouldn’t mind if you rode me.”Amaryllis sighed. “You’re both idiots,” she said as she pulled a cord next to the empty spot where the lift had been. It rang a bell far above and soon the lift was dropping to our level a foot at a time.I grinned, squeezed Awen’s hand in mine, used my other hand to scritch Orange behind the ear, and asked Mister Menu to pop open my stats page.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Human (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun
First Class Level
10
Age
16
Health
135
Stamina
145
Mana
120
Resilience
45
Flexibility
50
Magic
25
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 04%
Jumping
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 24%
Cute
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 30%
General Skills
`
Insight
C — 69%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 68%
Archeology
F — 63%
Friendmaking
C — 19%
Physical Manakinesis
E — 17%
Skill points
3
General Skill Points
4
I’d gotten way cooler since arriving on Dirt, but I still had a ways to go. My next big rank up would be Cleaning at rank S. That was five whole points. After that... I guessed that I could spend some points on other things? Maybe Dancing and Gardening, they both sounded handy. Or maybe I could get those sooner? So many options! The lift finally arrived and Awen tugged me onto it.“How many class evolution options is it normal to get?” I asked.“It depends on the person’s achievements,” Amaryllis said. “There’s always at least one. It can go pretty high.”“Uncle once said he had ten options once. He picked the one that sounded the most fun,” Awen said.I nodded. “If it’s good enough for Abraham it’s good enough for Broccoli.” I nodded.Amaryllis muttered something that sounded like it might have been ‘utter morons’ but I decided to ignore that. You have Five (5) available Class Evolutions! I grinned and poked at Mister Menu to show me the first.Cinnamon NunYou have cleansed ghosts with magic and might. Have caused others to obtain the fear of god, and have stayed pure in body and mind. Requirements: VirginAffinity for Holy magicsSkill Unlocks:Cleaning Holy CleaningClass Description:The Cinnamon Nun, as warm and soothing a presence as warm cinnamon on a cold day. A figure of calm and purity in an otherwise turbulent world.Do you Want to Evolve your Cinnamon Bun class into the Cinnamon Nun class?I tapped my chin as we rose. “I got a weird one,” I said. “Cinnamon Nun. It’s like a holy thing.”Amaryllis shifted. “That could be useful, I suppose.”“I don’t know, I don’t look good in black.”I ignored Amaryllis’ confused look and opened the next class even as the lift stopped and we started walking.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.Buns of SteelYour posterior has suffered repeated damage. Now it is hardened and toughened against even the hardest smack.Requirements: Suffer damage to the rearA leg-based movement skillHave at least one person admire your posteriorSkill Unlocks:Dance Booty SwingJumping Butt BouncingClass Description:Buns of Steel; both tough, and impossible to ignore. Do you Want to Evolve your Cinnamon Bun class into the Buns of Steel class?“Awa, you have a strange expression,” Awen said. “Are you okay?”“Yeah, yeah it’s just. Ah, this class looks...” I wondered how I could say it. “I think it’s a tank class. Not for me.”“That’s, um, okay. You should be yourself, right?” Awen asked.I grinned over to her. “That’s right!”We passed out of the dock section and into Rosenbell proper just as I opened a new classes description window... thing.Cinnamon BurnYou have begun to walk the path of fire mastery. You are not just spicey. You burn.Requirements: Fire mana useAt least one mana-manipulation skillSkill Unlocks:Cleaning Purifying FlamePhysical Manakinesis Physical Fire ProjectionClass Description:The Cinnamon Burn is the pyromaniac others fear. Upbeat and happy on the outside, your soul burns with a desire to see the world turn to ash as you laugh and bounce across its flaming corpse.Do you Want to Evolve your Cinnamon Bun class into the Cinnamon Burn class?“Ohh,” I cooed. “A fire magic class!”“Really?” Amaryllis asked. “That’s somewhat unusual. It would probably turn a few of your skills towards fire aspect abilities.”“Yeah, it does say that much. Not sure if I like the description. The nun class was better.” I shrugged. “I’ll think about it, I guess. Next!” Cinnamon Bun BunYou have made the making of friends your priority in life, and in doing so have gathered loyal loved ones by your side. Requirements: FriendmakingMade multiple friends across multiple racesBe at least two people’s best friendTeach others the magic of friendshipSave one friend from mortal peril and have them return the favorSkill Unlocks:Cute AdorableJumping HoppingClass Description:The Cinnamon Bun Bun is a symbol of friendship from the tip of her ears to the bottom of her soles. Nature smiles upon them and even the cruelest heart finds a kernel of fondness for the open-minded innocence of the Cinnamon Bun BunDo you Want to Evolve your Cinnamon Bun class into the Cinnamon Bun Bun class?“Oh, oh, I really like this one. Mostly,” I said. “The...” I paused to look around. We were now walking through some of the less busy streets, Amaryllis aiming for a little inn just across where we were. I noticed some people looking at us, wide-eyed and others pointing. Had we made a scene? “The, uh, Cute upgrade isn’t needed, but the rest looks really promising!”“So, you’ve found the class you want then?” Amaryllis asked.“Maybe! There’s one left to check out.”Play BunnyYou have charmed and seduced your way through the world. It has not gone unnoticed.Requirements: Make one person fall madly in love with youShow over 50 people your underwearShow over 10 people a sex toyBe able to unlock the seduction skillWear an animal collar daily for over a weekSkill Unlocks:Dance Love MakingFriendmaking SeductionClass Description:The Play Bunny is as fun as she is feisty. Twisting the wills and imaginations of those around her with a few well-placed words and a shift of the hip. Do you Want to Evolve your Cinnamon Bun class into the Play Bunny class?I felt my face warming up. Warming up a lot.“Awa, are you okay?” Awen asked.I looked around, noticing for the first time that we were in an inn. “I’m fine!” I squeaked.Awen blinked at me, then carefully placed her free hand on my forehead. “Awa, you’re so hot.”“No I’m not!” I said. “I mean... no? Just warm. Warm is all.” I tugged at my collar. “I’m not taking that class.”Amaryllis stared at me, a set of keys in her hand. “Right. We can look over... whatever is bothering you now later. We have a room on the second floor.”I nodded along and tried to make the blood move somewhere other than my face. “Awen,” I asked as we started to climb up the steps. “I’m not a seductress, right?”It was Awen’s turn to go red. “Awa!” Our rooms were nice enough, not on the level of the rooms of Julien and Juliette’s Inns, but clean and large, with a little bathroom to one side and a row of neat little beds set out in the middle. Orange hopped off my back and picked one of the beds for herself, settling down in the middle for further napping.“Food will be arriving soon enough,” Amaryllis said as she took off her pack and tossed it to the side. She sat on the edge of one of the beds. “Picked a class yet?” She asked.“I think so, yeah,” I said. Cinnamon Bun Bun seemed like the perfect class for me. It was really just my normal class, but a bit more. Not too much of a difference. It didn’t have some of the specialities of the other class options, but that was okay.“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Amaryllis asked.I grinned at her as I took off my pack and set it next to hers. “Nothing! “Do you Want to Evolve your Cinnamon Bun class into the Cinnamon Bun Bun class?“Yes please,” I said.Ding! For accomplishing great deeds and reaching the tenth level of your class, you have unlocked the Cinnamon Bun Bun class! Your Jumping Skill has transformed into... Hopping!Your Cute Skill has transformed into... Adorable! You are now eligible for a second class! Please pick from the classes you have obtained!-Wonderlander-Glass Cannon-PuppeteerThat strange warmth that pushed through my body when I levelled up returned, only it was tenfold as strong. My chest contracted and I felt faint for just a moment before it passed and my vision snapped back into focus. Then there was a strange... feeling at the base of my back and atop my head.My hat flew off as if someone had just smacked it from behind and clattered to the floor off to one side.“Huh?” I asked.My friends were staring. Staring hard. Even Orange was looking at me weird. “Did it go-” I stopped mid-word. My voice sounded off. No, not off, it was still my voice, but it sounded as if I was hearing it in a sort of almost-echo. It wasn’t the only sound that was weird. I turned my head and something on my scalp moved. Then it twitched. “Ah-ah-awa,” Awen said. She raised a hand and pointed to the top of my head.I reached up, slowly, and touched something long and furry that was standing... flopping, above my head.I ran over to the bathroom, the floppy thing flopping with every step.In the mirror was Broccoli Bunch. Wide-eyed, with her brown hair in a bit of a mess. And atop her head were ears. Big, two-foot long bunny ears, coloured the same brown as my hair, but with poofy white tufts at their base. They were ramrod straight now, almost as if they’d been spooked.I stared.The ears... my ears, twitched.Then one of them flopped down, folding in half at the middle.“Oh.”
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Chapter One Hundred and Two — Bounce Back
Chapter One Hundred and Two — Bounce Back I sat on the edge of one of the room’s beds. Orange on my lap. Amaryllis to my right and Awen to my left. My friends, all of my close friends, were trying to comfort me.It was quite silly. It wasn’t as if I’d lost something precious or anything, and I wasn’t hurting. I had just become... something else. “It happens,” Amaryllis was saying. “Not terribly often, but it has been noted before. In fact, some races can trace their origins back to communities who all changed their main class and were turned into something... uh, else.”“Something like me?” I asked.“Awa, it’s not so bad,” Awen tried. “Um. I think your new ears are very cute?”My ears twitched. Reaching up, I tugged at one of them, then pushed it back up so that it was standing tall above my head. “I guess they’re kinda cute,” I said. If I was pouting a bit no one chose to comment on it.“You’ll need to learn how to care for them. And... and I suspect a few books on Bun culture wouldn’t go amiss. You’ve sort of barged into their race,” Amaryllis said.“Yeah, I guess,” I said.Awen reached up, then paused. “Awa, can, can I touch them?”Sighing, I nodded. “Sure, go ahead.”Awen started running her hands up and down my new ears. It was weird, and kind of ticklish, especially when she touched the white tufts at their base. My right ear kept flopping down as it bent in half at the middle. It was really annoying, like having a sock on crooked, but on top of my head. “Right,” Amaryllis said as she bounced to her feet. “I think I saw a book store around here. I had to stop by there anyway, I can look to see if there are any books that will talk about your... condition.”“Yeah, I’d appreciate that,” I said.Amaryllis nodded and stomped off. She wasn’t the kind of girl that could just sit around and wallow when things weren’t going right. She needed to act, to move.Usually, that was the case with me too, but I wasn’t feeling it.I sighed and let myself fall backwards onto the bed, then winced as a bit of pain sprang out from my tailbone. My tailbone that now ended in an actual tail.It was a good thing I was wearing a skirt, or else I’d need to cut a hole in my pants to let out the big ball of brown fluff now permanently attached just over my bum.“I’m being dramatic,” I said as I splayed out my arms across the bed. My new bunny ears flipped over the edge as if they were melting off the sides of the bed above me. “This isn’t so bad, I guess.”“It’s going to be okay,” Awen said. “Um. No one dislikes buns, I think. And, and you’re still Broccoli.”“That’s right!” I said. My good mood plummeted a moment later. “Ah, but now I can’t go back home.”“You, you can’t?” Awen asked. She climbed onto the bed and slowly sat cross-legged next to me. “Why not?”“Well, for one I don’t know how. But also, if I do go back. Well, there aren’t any buns where I’m from. And I don’t think I could hide my ears at all.”Awen looked down at me, eyes wide and sad, then she fell atop me and pulled me into a hug. “It’s okay! We’ll make a new home for you here. To-together!”I grinned and returned the hug. “Thanks Awen,” I said. “Ah... I should find a distraction, all this ear business is driving me spare.”“Um. You have a new class to pick, right?” Awen asked. “Did you like the ones you have available, or, uh, will you go do another dungeon for something else?”“Hrm,” I said as I began to rub Awen’s back. It was as much a gesture to keep me occupied as it was one to comfort my friend. “I have three available, we could look over them together?”“Sure, I, awa, would like that.”Wonderlander Skipping along the edge of madness, the Wonderlander is always late but never left. They find the beautiful things in the world and make them brighter. Never settling for less when more will do! Class Specializations: Social NicetiesHat-based Combat Madness EnhancementDo you wish to unlock your second class? “I like this one,” I told Awen as I repeated the class’ description. “It’s kind of weird.”“Awa, you, um...” Awen flushed and looked away. “You’re a little weird too, I guess. But in a good way.”I laughed. “Thanks! You’re... actually I have no idea, I guess you might be weird or normal and I wouldn’t know.”“Ah, I think I’m normal?” Awen wondered. “Amaryllis though,” I began.“She’s weird. B-but don’t tell her that I said that. She’s also scary.” Awen shuddered. “But...I think I like her. As a friend! I meant as a friend!”I pulled Awen in for another hug, because hugs were the best. “You’re so cute Awen.”“Awawawa...” Awen mumbled as I hugged her. “Next class?” “Y-yes please!” Glass CannonThe best defence is a good offence! The Glass Cannon puts everything into attack, which is a good thing too because they have a glass jaw. One way or another, something is getting broken! Class Specializations:Striking Hard Blitzing Fast Attacking AlwaysDo you wish to unlock your second class? “That’s the same class I have,” Awen said. “Um. I think I’m about to get glass manipulation with that one.”“Is that good?” I asked.“Um. Glass is an interesting material, I think. I ah, had an idea but I’m not sure if it’s good.”I shifted so that I could see her better. “What is it?”“Awa. W-well, I know that Light Aspect mana is supposed to be easy to use, but it’s kind of... weak. But there are things like focusing lenses and prisms and such. I think I could tinker a way to make it better.”“Like a laser?” I asked.Awen blinked. “You know what those are?” “Yeah, we used them to annoy cats where I’m from.”This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report itOrange raised her head from my lap and kind of just stared. She was not impressed. She stood up, walked across my tummy, climbed over Awen, then spun around and sat on my face.“Orange! No!”After snatching Orange off of my face, then punishing her with kisses and hugs for a moment, I resettled on the bed with Awen tucked up against my side.“Only one class left,” I said.“Awa, the puppet one?” Puppeteer You have strings and now you're free. The Puppeteer ties others to themselves, not the other way around. The subtlest motions can have the most profound effects... Now dance, the show must go on! Class Specializations:Thread ManipulationBody StitchingPerforming PresentationDo you wish to unlock your second class? “Hrm,” I said.“Hrm,” Awen repeated. “I think I’m going to go for the Wonderlander class,” I said. “It sounds like it suits me better.”“Okay!” Awen said. “It does sound very, um, exciting.”Grinning, I poked at Mister Menu and waited for just a moment. A shiver ran through me, from the tip of my poofy ears all the way down to my toes. Ding! You are now a Wonderlander!Health + 5Stamina +5Mana +10Resilience +5Flexibility +15Magic +5“It’s done!” I said.Awen giggled and Orange flopped onto the bed’s pillow in celebration.“Now we all have second classes. How neat is that?” “Awa, it’s very, um, neat. I didn’t think I’d ever get to reach anything past my first evolution,” Awen said. “Now I’m going to be a glass cannon too, and Amaryllis will, um, make puppets out of people with electricity.”“That does sound like something that’ll make Amaryllis even scarier,” I saidThe bedroom’s door squeaked open and Amaryllis walked in backwards, wings carrying a small stack of books. “So, I’m scary, but not enough that you won’t talk about me when I’m not around,” she said as she stomped off towards the dining table set to one corner. “I found help.”“Um, hello!” I blinked and sat up straighter. I recognized the voice. Even better, I recognized the young woman that followed Amaryllis into the room.She walked with her hands woven together over her tummy, and her eyes were focusing more on the floor than the rest of the room. She was wearing a light cloak over tough-looking travelling clothes. Still, for all that her face was partially hidden by her cloak, it did nothing to hide the two big ears sticking out of the top of her head.“Booksie?” I asked.The bookshop owner looked up. “Miss Broccoli?” she asked. Her eyes locked onto my ears and I saw her expression twist with confusion. “You’re a bun?”I hopped to my feet, a smile tugging at my cheeks. “I am now! What’re you doing in Rosenbell?”Booksie’s eyes snapped away from me. “I’m heading home. I just had to stop here on the way back. It’s a quick stop, nothing else.”“Home to Port Royal?” I asked.“No,” she said. Then, quicker. “Were you a bun last time we spoke? I can’t remember seeing your ears, but I think you were wearing a hat at the time?”“I wasn’t a bun back then,” I said. “I’ve only had the ears for a few hours now. Ah, I guess that’s why Amaryllis asked you to come... she did ask you to come, right?”“I offered her money,” Amaryllis said.I huffed. “You can’t fix every problem with money, Amaryllis.”The harpy snorted. “That sounds like poor people talk.”Awen sat up, hands running across her clothes to straighten them. “Awa, who’s your friend?” Awen asked. “Oh, right!” I said. “Awen, this is Booksie, she owns a bookstore in Port Royal.”Booksie’s smile faltered a little and she went back to staring at the floor. “Used to own. I’m just a normal bun now, on my way to Cinderrun. But that’s not what matters. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Awen.”“Awa, the pleasure’s mine,” Awen said.“What happened to your store?” I asked.Booksie shook her head. “It’s not important,” she said. “Miss Amaryllis said that you needed help with something, and I think I can see the problem. People don’t usually just turn into buns, not as far as I’ve read.”“Were you born a bun?” I asked. I was definitely going to find out what happened to her store, but only when she was ready to tell me.“I was,” Booksie said. “And my mother before me, and my grandfather before her. If a bun mates with a human, their offspring is going to be a bun.”“Awesome,” I said. Any babies I had would have widdle little ears and a fluffy tail? I couldn’t say no to that! “So there are a bunch of buns out there?”Booksie smiled a little wistfully. “We have our little corners. Most buns are well treated. And we have a good reputation for, ah, most things.” She flushed a little at that. “If you don’t mind, how did you become a bun yourself? An artefact? Some magic that went... strange? A class evolution?”I nodded, then reached both hands up to stop my bunny ears from flopping. If only they could stay as fixed as my normal ears. “Yeah. My class changed to Cinnamon Bun Bun, and now I have these, and ah, a tail.”“Oh,” Booksie said. “Well, then it’s probably nothing to worry about. You still have human ears? Any xenophobe will be able to tell that you weren’t born a bun, so there’s that.”“Oh, um, okay,” I said. “Did you wanna sit? We can talk some more over tea or something. I guess if there’s no way to lose the ears, I might as well learn a bit about bun culture and such.”“Sure!” Booksie said. She took off her hood, which was quite involved with the big ears and all, and placed it off to the side. In the full light of the room, I could easily make out all the marks around her eyes. She hadn’t been sleeping, and I didn’t think it was because she was binge reading until four in the morning.My ears could wait, I had a new friend to cheer up!
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Bonus Chapter: The Other Possibilities
Very much not canon! Cinnamon Nun “What in the world is happening?” The mayor’s voice rang out across the town square.His week had been... a little on the hectic side. That much was normal. It was the Rose’s Bell festival week, or at least, the week leading up to the one-day festival. That meant merchants and spectators and people from every smaller town in the region all coming to Rosenbell for a day or two. Every year was a bit of a mess, with arguments sparking and a few people always getting too fond of their drink. It was worth it, of course, but still.And then this year a dragon had come to demand cattle and food and tribute. He thought his heart would stop right then and there. They’d been saved by a trio of young explorers of all things, but he figured it was a near thing. Then he’d been told that there was an entire troupe of children making a mess of the town square just before construction of the stages was set to begin. There were skinny preteens grouped up together to one side smoking, and toddlers running around while screaming. More of them were jumping up and down on... on something that the mayor suspected was a person. To one side, a group of three girls were pinning an older teen against a wall, obviously making her very uncomfortable, and in the middle of it all, right where the mayor would expect anyone responsible for the tiny disaster to be, was a nun.No, not a nun, he realized. The young woman was too young, and her habit was actually little more than a black and white towel draped over her head.She was running in circles trying to catch a pair of boys who were chanting rather vulgar swears. “What is happening?” he asked. When it became obvious the no one would answer, the older gentleman took in a deep, deep breath and screamed. “What. Is. Happening!” The children froze up. Smiling, the mayor congratulated himself on still having a good pair of lungs before, with a twitch of his mustache, he zeroed in on the one he suspected was responsible. “You,” he said pointing at the would-be nun. “Please do explain.”It took only a moment more for him to recognize the women as the one that had roared (quite fearsomely) at the dragon the day prior.“Ah,” she began. “Um. See, I got a nun class?”“Yes?” he asked. That didn’t explain anything.“And I figured I’d help out at the orphanage, because that’s what nuns do? And I could teach all these kids about the magic of friendship?”He looked around at the mess they’d made. “You seem to have failed,” he said.The woman’s eyes teared up. “They didn’t want to listen. The lady at the orphanage said to use a ruler but, but I can’t do that!”“Didn’t you have help?” he asked. “There are... twenty kids here!” The girl pointed to the side where her shy friend was hiding from the still suspicious looks of three girls, then she pointed to a pile of feathers that he suspected was once a harpy. “They, they tried. But the children! Oh, it was awful!” The mayor sighed. At least this filled the quota for strange things happening on the Rose’s Bell festival week.
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Buns of SteelAwen didn’t know why Broccoli had asked her to meet her in the yard behind the inn. She also didn’t know why Broccoli had asked Awen to find a stick and a cast-iron pan. Not knowing didn’t matter though. Broccoli was the coolest, nicest, most kind person that Awen had ever met, and if she asked to meet outside, then Awen would do that.She would do a lot more than that too, but that kind of thinking was wrong and undignified and immoral, and it made her feel faint and all fuzzy inside.It was probably for the best that she stepped outside where the air was cooler and much nicer to breath. It only took a glance around to find Broccoli.And then Awen stopped to stare at her heroine. Broccoli was currently sitting on the ground, an expression somewhere between a pout and a scowl on her face.The young woman got up and then, with a small hop, jumped onto a small picnic table set under the shade of a grand tree. She stood atop the table, bent halfway forwards, then tipped backwards.“Awa!” Awen called out. It’s not what she wanted to say. She wanted to shout a warning, but whenever she tried to say things in a hurry, things twisted up between her brain and her tongue and it was always that cursed pair of syllables that escaped.It’s why she couldn’t shout a proper warning as Broccoli fell backwards and, munich to Awen’s surprise, landed on the ground rear-first with the dull thump of something hard impacting the dirt.“Hmm,” Broccoli said.Awen unfroze a moment later and rushed over, pan and stick still in hand. “Are you okay?” she asked.Broccoli looked up to her, big green eyes filled with barely contained mirth. “Awen! You’re here.”“Y-yes, but are you okay?” Awen asked.“Oh, I’m fine,” Broccoli said a moment before bouncing back onto her feet. “I’m testing out a new skill! It’s a class skill.”“For, um, your Buns of Steel class?” Awen guessed. She worked hard to keep her eyes on Broccoli’s. It was hard. She could melt into those eyes so easily, and she was sure that someone as friendly and cool and wonderful as Broccoli wouldn’t make the slightest fuss about it.Broccoli nodded. “Yeah. Ohh, and you got my stuff, neat. Do you have a few minutes to help me?” Awen nodded, afraid of the terrible things she might say if she could speak.“Neat!” Then Broccoli leaned onto the table with one arm, bent over at a ninety degree angle with her legs shoulder width apart. “Smack my bum please.”“Awa.”This time the awa was barely even noticed. It wasn’t as if she was going to say anything intelligible anyway, her mind was far, far too busy elsewhere.Broccoli turned around to stare at her, big guileless eyes still filled with mirth. “Start with the stick, we can work out way up to the pan after.”“Awa.”The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.“Oh, right.” Broccoli reached back and flipped her skirt up. “Is that better? I need to see just how-steel like these buns are, you know?”"Awa?!""Come on, Awen, spank me."The only impact was Awen’s as she landed back-first onto the courtyard’s ground.
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Cinnamon BurnTo Broccoli Bunch, the world was a place of wonder and joy. The skies were filled with fluffy candy cane clouds and the songs of birds accompanied the joyful calls of the people she crossed.Pretty houses with bright walls flew by as she skipped and hopped along, spreading cleanliness and joy with every step. And through it all, the World itself rewarded her.Congratulations! You have spread the Flames of Joy to Rosenbell Villager, level 10. To those horrified people looking onto the scene, there was no joy, not happy smiles, and nothing but terror, terror and the ever burning fires of unholy magics. “We need more water!” a mage screamed. He tried to pull more from the city well, but there was nothing but dust left within.“Are you thirsty, sir?” a kind, happy voice asked. He turned and beheld a smiling nightmare made flesh. “No, no no no!” “Here, let me clean your mouth out!” His last cries were burned from his lungs. The girl, satisfied that she’d helped another new friend, skipped on ahead, firing little burst of cleansing magic with every skip. The whole city was such a bright and festive place. It even smelled like roasting meat! She saw people gathering at a building down the road. Perhaps that was where the delicious smells were coming from?With a hop, she began to skip on over. She was sure she could make friends and maybe grab a bite while she was at it!
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Play Bunny“So?” Amaryllis asked.She’s watched Broccoli sprout a pair of ears, and even a small tuft of brown fur over her rear, all in the time it took most people to yawn. It was... interesting magic, to say the least. A base creature-and no matter what the humans said, she doubted they were the only origin of intelligent races-could evolve into something slightly new. If they bred true then there would be entire new communities that sprouted from nothing.That usually required at an entire group have the same class, or very similar ones. Like the Grenouille and their fabled ‘Frog’ dungeon. She’d never expected to see that kind of evolution with her own two eyes, but perhaps that was par for the course when dealing with the like of a Riftwalker... or a Broccoli Bunch.“I feel... warm,” Broccoli said after she’d finished tugging at her ears while looking in the mirror. “Not bad warm, but warm-warm.”“Awa, maybe, um, buns have higher body temperatures?” Awen tried.It was an astute observation. Amaryllis nodded along. “That’s distinctly possible,” she said. “I’ll have to find a few books to narrow things down. I just hope you didn’t catch a fever at the same time as you changed races. It would be just like you to get sick like that.” amaryllis doubted there were any good apothecaries in such a backwater. She’d need to run back into her ring’s range, order something from a proper, civilized place, and then run back to give it to Broccoli.“Nah, I think I’m okay,” Broccoli said. “Health’s at one hundred percent and all.” She sighed, tugged at the nape of her neck, then with a shrug took off the top layer of her armour.“Hrm, well I suppose it’s nothing,” Amaryllis said.“Yeah,” Broccoli agreed as she took off her shirt.Awen squeaked next to her and covered her eyes, but Amaryllis didn’t care. Human... Bun physiology was only really interesting in a sort of scientific fashion. “So hot right now,” Broccoli said as she stripped out of her skirt. Awen started stuttering while Amaryllis worked hard to put two and two together. The result wasn’t promising.“H-hey, Awen?” Broccoli asked.“Yes?” Awen said past the hands she had plastered over her face.“Wanna play... a game?” “Wh-what kind of game?” Awen asked.Broccoli shifted on the spot. “I dunno. Monopoly or something.”That was it. Amaryllis was going to learn a spell that allowed her to summon cold water.
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Cinnamon Bum “I dunno, man,” Broc B. said from her spot on the couch. Who, exactly, had brought the couch out into the town square was anyone’s guess. “Just, like, chill out, you know?”“Yeah,” Rhawrexdee said. “Yeah, we all need more chill.”The dragon dragon took a hit from Broccoli’s cinnamon bun bong and let it out as a plume of dancing smoke.“Yeah.”Off to one side, Amaryllis fumed.
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Cinnamon Bun PunAmaryllis glared at... at the girl who’d somehow become her best friend. “So?” she asked. “Are you done being a complete moron?”Broccoli, who was currently tied to a chair with a piece of rope in her mouth, nodded rapidly. “Aw... should I, um, untie her?” Awen asked.“Certainly,” Amaryllis said.The little mechanic fumbled with the ropes for a bit, showing a surprising level of expertise with them until they came loose and Broccoli was able to talk once more.“Oh, wow, thanks!” Broccoli said. So far, Amaryllis though, so good. “So, why did you tie me up?”“To stop you from talking,” Amaryllis said.Broccoli blinked. “Talking? Did I make a tit of myself?”Amaryllis’ eyes narrowed. “Because being tied up like this is super unpheasent. I feel like a sitting duck. And it’s not like I did anything fowl enough to deserve getting tied!” “Should, should I tied her back up?” Awen asked.“Oh no,” Broccoli said. “As Awazing as you are with that rope, Awen, I’d really knot have it around my mouth again. No! I haven't been knotty, I swear!”Amaryllis nodded to Awen and watched as Broccoli struggled against being tied all over again. She wondered... hoped there was a cure to the terrible affliction that had captured her friend.
Chapter One Hundred and Three — The Lowest Low
Chapter One Hundred and Three — The Lowest Low I hummed to myself as I took out my kettle and set it on the table. The inn people had left a pitcher of water for us to use, so I didn’t have to worry about filling it. I still used a bit of cleaning magic on the water, just in case.“So, Booksie,” I asked as I fished around my backpack for some chamomile. “Where are you staying?”“Ah, well, that’s... when Miss Albatross found me, I was looking to sell a few books. I intended to purchase an inn room for the night.”“Is Rosenbell a big market for books?” I asked.“No,” Booksie said.She was sitting on the bed that Amaryllis had picked for herself, hands under her thighs and focus, more often than not, on the floor.“It was rather anemic,” Amaryllis said. “The selection they did have was lacking, and geared more towards... whatever it is that interests the humans around here. Though I did find a few books on puppetry. It’s something of a local hobby.”“Neat,” I said as I added leaves to the tea and started to pour mana into my kettle while gently swirling it around. The water started to warm up. “Ah, I don’t want to impose on you,” Booksie said. “But Miss Albatross said that you needed my assistance with certain things?”“It’s mostly because of my ears and tail,” I said. “But if they’re not going to be a problem, then I guess I can live with them. What can you tell me about buns? I mean, their culture and stuff?”Booksie nodded. “A fair bit, I think. We’re mostly found in Pyrowalk, though there are some who take to the seas. I’ve travelled far from home to build my shop and collect interesting books. We do tend to have a lot of members with wanderlust, but that might not be because we’re buns.”“Why is it, then?” I asked.“Buns don’t really have a nation? We’re just a people... no I can’t say we’re even that. There are buns all across Pyrowalk, from Cinderrun to Southerfell, and at every level. We even have nobles.” She shifted, hands dropping onto her lap. “Some people don’t like buns, but it’s not that common.”“I would hope not, judging people just because they have more ears than you is silly,” I said. Amaryllis flipped through a few pages of one of the books she’d bought, then set it aside. “I’m going to go get us some food. Awen, want to give me a hand?” “Ah, certainly,” Awen said. She bounced off my bed and soon my two friends were out of the room, their footfalls turning distant as they made their way down to the inn’s first floor.“So, Booksie,” I said as I let go of the kettle. “Would you mind telling me what happened to your bookstore?”Booksie tensed. “I just... I just thought that selling it would be best.”“Oh,” I said. “I thought that maybe the bookstore was a dream of yours or something,” I said.I saw the bun swallow, her head turning away so that one of her ears hid her eyes from me. “It was,” she said.“If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay,” I said.She shook her head. “I suspect you have your own troubles.”“My troubles are never as important as my friends,” I said. “We’ve only known each other for a bit, but I’d like to think that we could become the best of friends!” Catherine ‘Booksie’ CabbageDesired Quality: Someone who appreciates a good book and who has a romantic heart.Dream: To run the grandest bookstore in the world. To reopen her store.Her name was Catherine? Maybe her parents had a sense of humour. I could sympathise.Booksie smiled, small and timid and wonderful. “I think I might like that,” she said. With a heavy sigh, Booksie resettled herself on the bed. “If you open a business in Port Royal, there are certain taxes you need to pay. The rent is high too, but I managed to pay both. It wasn't the most successful shop, but I made due. And it was great! I had plenty of customers I got to know and enjoy, and some knew that I could get the best books from Pyrowalk and... and it’s all gone now.”I got up, walked over to her side, and then paused. “Do buns like hugs?” I asked.“We do,” Booksie said.“Oh, good,” I said before plopping myself down next to her and giving her a big sideways hug. Our ears squished together, which felt weird, but not bad weird. Booksie giggled. “I think you might fit right in,” she said.“Good! I wouldn’t mind making a bunch of new friends. Now how can we get your shop back?”The door opened and Amaryllis strode in with two trays balanced in each hand. She looked at me for a moment, then shook her head. “I walk in on you and Awen on the same bed, then an hour later it’s you and the book seller? People are going to start talking, Broccoli.”“Because I like cuddles?” I asked.Awen followed Amaryllis into the room, holding onto her own trays. She stared even harder than Amaryllis did.Amaryllis sighed. “Idiot,” she said. “Come eat. The slop they serve here looks vaguely palatable. It had better be for the price they’re charging for it.”“Things are expensive here?” I asked.“It’s the tournament,” Booksie said as she got up. “There are lots of people here for that alone. It runs all day tomorrow, or most of the day anyway. It’s kind of a big deal. I was hoping to catch a ride with one of the airships heading out west the day after.”“Oh, maybe we could watch? We’re kind of stuck here all day tomorrow anyway,” I said.“Sure,” Amaryllis said. “It could be enlightening. There’s also a puppet show that I want to see.”“Awa, that sounds nice,” Awen said. The moment I sat down, Awen moved to the seat next to me, placing me between her and Amaryllis, so I gestured to the seat across from me. “Sit?” I asked.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Booksie said.“Oh, come on, it’s just a bit of food. And you could tell us about your shop. I’m sure we could help. If nothing else, Amaryllis is loaded.”“Moron,” Amaryllis said. “What’s this about a shop?” She turned to the side when Orange hopped onto the table and installed herself in optimal scratching range, which meant right in front of her plate. Booksie gave in and sat across from me. She shifted a little in her seat and I found myself doing the same. Chairs and tails didn’t mix all that well. “Thank you,” she said. “It’s... I wish I could say it’s a long story, but it truly isn’t.”We paused for a moment as plates and food were shifted about and soon I was licking my lips as I eyed a nice bit of chicken next to a heaping of veggies all covered in some sort of sauce. “Well, tell us everything,” Amaryllis said. “You seem out of place over here, so it must be quite the story.”“Ah, yeah,” Booksie said as she chewed on a bit of carrot. “My store did alright for some time. I was happy, and I was making enough to get by. Then the... ah, I think they called themselves the street protection crew... Stopped by. They told me that I needed to pay them for additional safety or else things would start to happen.”“Oh no,” I said.Booksie looked away. “I’m just a single bun, living all on my own above my shop. I... I paid at first, but then the price went up, and I couldn’t afford to pay them one week. Someone broke in and took some things. I managed to fix everything, and I kept on paying from then on, but the price just kept climbing.”We were all quiet for a moment before I shook my head and smacked a hand on the table next to my plate. “Well, that just wasn’t nice. Did you tell the police? The guards?”“Ah, I did, but... I think they’re being paid not to make a fuss about it. Things in the east end of Port Royal are fairly safe, but the gangs from the Scumways tend to spill out a lot. Things like extortion tend to take a long time to get the attention of the people running the city. In the end, I took what money I could and I ran. I couldn’t afford the next payment, not while running my business.”“Disgusting,” Amaryllis said.I nodded and took an angry chomp of my chicken, then almost immediately spat it out. “Oh, yuck,” I said.Booksie stared at my place, then began to titter. “Oh no, I forgot to tell you.”“Tell me what?” I asked as I poked the meat. Had it been undercooked?“Buns are omnivores like humans, but we generally avoid meats. We can eat meat, but it’ll upset your stomach if you eat lots. I never saw what the big appeal was with meat anyway. It tastes a bit strange.”I stared at the chicken on my plate, then, with a disappointed sigh, I lifted my plate and slid it onto Awen’s. “I like meat,” I lamented.Amaryllis gave my back a pat. “It happens?” she tried.I shook my head and bit into a bit of lettuce. At least that still tasted good. “Well, we need to help you,” I said to Booksie. “I’m sure we could get the attention of the authorities in Port Royal if we tried.”“That would be nice, but I can’t ask that from you,” Booksie said.I hummed as I nibbled on more lettuce. It really was good. Maybe it was fresh? I took a bit more from the plates in the middle of the table. “We’ll figure something out, don’t you worry.”“As much as I admire your... you-ness, Broccoli, Booksie here is a stranger to us. We can’t just go all out to help her.”“Awa,” Awen said. “No, no we can. Um. If you find someone that needs a friend, you’re supposed to help them. R-right Broccoli?” I bumped shoulders with Awen. “That’s right! We can help, so we should. And besides, other than helping Rhawrexdee, we don’t have any plans, right?”“We don’t,” Amaryllis said. “But I’m sure we could find something more profitable to do with our time. No offence, miss Booksie.”“None taken?”“Bah. Maybe we could buy part of Booksie’s business. Then we could profit from her winnings in a few years when she’s the biggest and best store in Port Royal. No... on Dirt!” I said.Amaryllis tapped her chin with a talon. “That’s not the worst idea you’ve ever spouted. We’d need a lot of capital though. I have some gold on me, but not an infinite amount, and the cost of hiring guards and fixing Miss Booksie’s shop, or bribing the city guard so that they do their jobs... that’s beyond what I have on me.”I hummed. “We could gamble for more? I have... six gold left? I think.”“Gamble,” Amaryllis deadpanned.“Yup. With the tournament tomorrow!” “And what if we can’t pay up?” Amaryllis asked.“We only gamble the gold we have. And if someone tries to, uh, extort us or something, we can ask Rhawrexdee for help?”Amaryllis blinked, then shrugged. “I’m in.”“Awa, I, I think I’m okay with that? I just want to, um, be around.”“Great!” I said. “See Booksie, everything’ll work out.”“I... thank you, Broccoli. Truly.”Grinning, I picked up my tea kettle, set some mugs in a neat row, and filled them up one by one.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the class skill: Tea Making!“Huh.” “What now?” Amaryllis asked.“I got a new skill! Tea making.”Amaryllis smacked herself with a wing. “I don’t think gambling is such a good idea anymore, not with that kind of luck.”“Hey, it could be useful?” I said before taking a sip of my tea. I might have let it steep too long.Tea MakingF — 07%The ability to make tea“Okay, so maybe not,” I said as I took another sip. “Still better than Adorable.”
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Chapter One Hundred and Four — The Bun in the Arena
Chapter One Hundred and Four — The Bun in the Arena “Thank you!” I said to the old shopkeep. The man grinned at me and pocketed the few coppers I’d left on his counter with a swipe.They were coppers well spent. I tossed one of the little sacks full of tea leaves I’d bought into the air and then caught it before turning to my friends.“Okay, so this is my plan,” I said.All four of us-the girls and Booksie... who was also a girl but not yet ‘one of the girls’— were a block away from the square where the tournament would take place. Even from as far as we were, I could hear the excited babble in the air as hundreds of people gathered for the show.“I’m gonna make some tea,” I said. “Lots of tea. And you three can sell that tea to the people watching the show for a few coppers each. I’ll betcha we’ll make tons of money in no time.”“You think that, huh?” Amaryllis asked.I was sensing some doubt. Lots of doubt. “It’s a dumb idea,” Amaryllis said. I slumped. “Not only will you only raise, at most, a few dozen sil, you’re also putting yourself at risk. Do you know how many grabby men will be in those stands? I don’t want to see Awen carried off to a cell because she placed a bolt into some young fool whose hands wandered further than his eyes.”Awen nodded. “That would be bad. Um. Not that I’d kill someone... in public like that.”I slumped. “Darn,” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes and patted my shoulder. “It’s not that big a deal. It’s not even that bad an idea. C’mon. We can get some tickets in one of the boxes and you can sell some tea to the people there, at least.”“Really?!” I asked. I felt my ears perking up on my head and rubbing against the two holes I had Awen drill into the top of my hat. I kept idly juggling my tea bag as I followed Amaryllis out of the general goods store and towards the centre of the town. There didn’t seem to be tickets or anything like that. Instead, a row of guards were blocking off the entrances to the square and demanding payment up front to allow people in. A flash of gold on Amaryllis’ part and we were let in and even escorted through the rougher parts of the crowd by a friendly young guardsman.There were so many people trying to fit into the square that moving was a bit of a chore, but as we arrived at the back of part of the stadium and were guided towards a wooden staircase, the crowds lessened a little.“Ohh,” I said as I stepped onto the top of a viewing platform. There were three rows of benches with enough room for maybe fifty or so people, though there were only half as many attendees in the box when we arrived. The back and sides had waist-high walls to keep people from falling, but the front only had a little rail across it.I could see the arena below, a ten by ten meter square of what looked like granite raised out of the middle of the town’s square, with rails all around it and, a few meters back, huge boxes built in tiers where people were standing and milling about. Unlike the stadiums back home, there wasn’t any seating down below. Chairs, apparently, were for the people able to afford the nicer boxed seats.“Awa, there has to be a thousand people here,” Awen said as she stared across the throng of people.I caught sight of harpies, cervids and sylphs, even a few grenoil standing tall to see the stage. And, of course, there were lots of humans. Amaryllis was quite smug as she sat down in the front row, and soon Awen and I joined her. Booksie paused for a moment before sitting down too. I was a little worried that she would feel bad, but she was smiling. Maybe she would be swept away in the fun and would forget her worries for a bit.I set down my pack halfway under my bit of the bench, pulled out my tea kettle, and started to warm up a few cupfulls of water. “Are you still doing that?” Amaryllis asked.I shrugged my shoulders. “Might as well grind the skill,” I said.I was just passing my friends some steaming hot mugs of their own when a shadow paused before me. When I looked up, it was to meet the wide eyes of the portly town mayor. He was standing next to a tall, skinny man who was all bones and who had a big bushy mustache riding his upper lip. “Um, hi?” I said.“Ah, yes, hello,” the mayor said as he doffed his hat. He looked to my friends, then back to me. “Are you... ah, but you didn’t have the ears. But... perhaps disguise magic?”“I’m sorry, but, what?”The mayor shook his head and plopped his hat back on. “Forgive me dear, but, ah, could you perhaps tell me.” He paused and licked his lips. “Did you happen to, um, converse with a dragon, say, yesterday afternoon.”“Oh, yeah, that was me,” I said with a nod.“Ah, yes, you... seemed familiar, but you weren’t wearing the same thing,” he said.“A girl can own multiple sets of clothing,” I said. Though... I wasn’t currently one of those girls. The mayor nodded along. “Of course, of course,” he said before looking at my head. I realized he was looking at my ears. “Oh. Yeah, those are new.”“Ah,” he said.“Now now, we’re hardly being polite, now are we,” said the man next to the mayor. “Hello my dearest and my dearest’s friends. I am Zac John Honenheim, but everyone calls me Zac.” He took my hand and gave the back of it a smooth kiss. “A pleasure to meet you!”“Hi!” I said. “I’m Broccoli Bunch, this is Awen, and that’s Amaryllis, and this is Booksie!” The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.“Gorgeous, all of you,” Zac said with a huge grin. “Why if I could parade you in front of these crowds I wouldn’t need to put on a show at all!”“Thanks? I think?”“Indeed! Tell me miss Bunch, are you a fighter? A bit of a daringdoer?” He asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. “A bit, I guess.” “My! Did you hear that, James my old pal! She’s got some fight in her yet!” Zac said to the mayor before turning back to me. “Tell me miss Bunch, how would you like to make a quick copper?” I blinked. “Um. That would be nice, but we’re looking for ways to make quick gold right now, not copper.”“Hah!” Zac barked. “Aren’t we all? Tell you what. You seem to be the subject of a lot of gossip right now. Lots of chit and chat and so on. Now, that’s an opportunity we can’t miss out on! I just so happen to be missing one of the lads that’s supposed to fight this morning. Fellow in the tenth level, ate something disagreeable. That means I have a slot in my tournament line up, a Bunch-shaped slot.”“Oh, I see,” I said. I was already shaking my head. “I’m not really into hurting people, I’m afraid.”“No one gets hurt in a Hohenheim tournament my dear; it injures me to even hear you say as much! No no, we have the very best healers from the Slyphfree mountains and our very stage is enchanted to prevent mortal wounds. You’ll be as safe as a rabbit in its burrow.”I looked at my friends. Booksie looked amused, and Awen was wide-eyed in either shock or awe at Zac’s presence. But it was Amaryllis’ reaction that I really wanted to know. She was smart, smarter than I was at least, and I trusted her judgment. “If you want to,” Amaryllis siad. “But not before discussing price.”“Oh, a shrewd one!” Zac said. “Five sil a fight. And of course the entire prize if you win your bracket.”“Single eliminations?” Amaryllis asked.“Indeed.”“Then that’s chump change. Two gold per fight.”“Tw— my dear lady,” Zac said as he slapped his hands over his heart. “As beautiful and blessed as Miss Bunch may be, is she truly worth so much gold?”“Ask the dragon she scared off.”Zac considered that for a moment. “One gold.”“One and five pure silver.” “One gold, and then five pures atop every fight she wins. So one gold in the first, then one and five, then one and ten and so on,” Zac said.Amaryllis hummed. “How many rounds?”“Four my dear,” was the quick reply.Amaryllis nodded. “If she wants it. Swindle us and we’re telling our dragon friend. You pay whether or not she wins. And if she’s injured after your precious little healers are done fixing up her bruises, I will copy any wounds onto your flesh.” She smiled even as her feathers puffed out and little snaps of electricity sparked in the air. Zac blinked, his smile growing a little faint, and the mayor looked a little pale. “P-pardon?” he mumbled.“Cool!” I said. “I never fought in an exhibition match, but I’m sure my experience will help,” I said.“Your experience with exhibiting yourself?” Amaryllis asked.I huffed at her. But when Zac extended a hand at me, I shook. That much gold could help Booksie a lot, and it did sound like a lot of fun. That, and if the fights were so civilised, then I was sure I could tap out if things became a little too hairy.I downed my cup of tea, then hopped to my feet. “Where to?” I asked. “Ah-hah, we have a room for our brave combatants to wait in! Follow me!”I waved goodbye to my friends and followed Zac as he rushed down the stairs two at a time. The mayor was left wringing his hands behind us, but Amaryllis was soon grilling him. “This year’s group is very exciting! Some real crowd pleasers. I think we’ll have ourselves a rousing success!”“That sounds great,” I said. I got to the bottom of the steps and straightened my skirts. I had to at least make an effort to look good. “Ah, I didn’t bring my shovel!” I said.“Your shovel?” Zac asked as he led me towards out of the area around the square and towards a large brick house set to the side of the square, the very one that had had a bell tower the day before.“My weapon,” I said.“No worries dear! The only weapons we allow our combatants to use are those enchanted to be quite harmless. Ah, I hope you’ll give the other fighters the same courtesy. We’re here to put on a show, not spill-too much-blood.”“I get it,” I said. “Kind of like boxing back home, I guess.”Zac nodded to two people standing by the doors to the building, then barged in without so much as a knock. “I return!” he cheered.The room was filled with people, nearly all of them-with the exception of three straight-back sylphs in one corner-were wearing armour of one sort or another. The men were bare chested, showing off oiled muscles, and the women were all huge amazons that looked like they could punch someone through a wall.There were a few mages, and one or two shifty looking folks wearing lots of loose clothes while they stalked the darker corners of the room.“Everyone, this is miss Bunch! She’s going to replace Jimmy today!”A lot of very unfriendly eyes turned my way.Part of me wanted to back off and nope out. But that part of me knew that I’d never make friends with that kind of attitude. I took a deep breath, made sure I was wearing my best smile, then stepped up. “Hello! I’m Broccoli!” I said. “Let’s have lots of fun!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Five — Altering the Deal
Chapter One Hundred and Five — Altering the Deal “Have you been a, um, fighter for long?” I asked one of the big amazon-looking women.She sighed and turned away from me. “Talk to me once you’ve cut your teeth, kid,” she said.“I cut things with my teeth just fine!” I pouted, but there were plenty of others to chat to. I skipped over to the shadow-y-est part of the room. “Hello!” I said to the two people in dark cloaks hiding in the dark. “You guys look really sneaky. That’s cool!”They turned towards each other, then edged deeper into the shadowed recesses of the room.Well, okay, that was a pretty clear message.I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet and took in all the people in the room getting ready to fight. Some were stretching, others were standing and chatting in low tones. Some seemed to be praying or slowly going through katas or practicing with some magic, motes of mana swirling around them. A few of the calmer ones were reading or quietly smoking next to a window that was open a crack.The crowds outside were getting excited. I could hear the pop-pop of fireworks and what I suspected was Zac stoking the crowd into an uproar.I counted about sixty or so people across three rooms that were joined together by some corridors. There was a fourth room, a sort of armoury, but it was guarded by a pair of big guys who only let people in for a minute or so before they exited with a weapon.Was I supposed to grab one too?“Okay you nitwits!” someone called.I turned to find a chubby man in a long coat standing by the door, arms in the air to catch people’s attention.“You should know how this works by now. But for our newcomers, and those of you who got too plastered and forgot, let me explain right quick. We’re doing this by brackets. You get called up, you exit. A guard will bring you to your side of the arena. Zac says some nice things about how pretty your eyes are, and you wave to the crowds. Make a show of it. Then it’s on the stage and when the bell tolls, you handle your aggression between each other. You hear?” he asked.There was a mumble of assent. I nodded along. It sounded simple enough. I could do it.“Now remember, no decapitation!” What?“Broccoli, Arugula, you two are up!” the man shouted. He spun on a heel and stomped out of the building, the sounds of music and cheering loud for just a moment as the door opened and closed. I stood for a moment, feeling just a little faint.Then someone big and hard bumped my shoulder hard and I had to step fast not to fall. I looked up to a huge man wearing thick pauldrons and armoured greeves and little else. “Get going, girl,” he growled at me.I swallowed but resisted the temptation to shy away from him. I wasn’t someone just anyone could bully! And just because he was taller than I was... my eyes widened. With my new ears, I was technically taller than he was! I was now at model height! I followed Arugula out of the waiting area, then stopped as a wall of sound and scents hit me. There had to be some magic around the door keeping the worst of it out, because the sounds outside were crazy. We were behind one of the taller platforms where large trunk-sized pieces of wood held up the stalls that were trembling as people cheered. An explosion from above had me looking up in time to see a fireball the size of a house detonating some hundred meters up. Sparks and embers rained down from the sky, winking out a few dozen feet off the ground.Then a spiralling pillar of water shot into the air and burst apart, turning into a huge flower for just a moment before the image broke apart. A few scattered drops dripped across my face.“Miss Broccoli?” a young man with a clipboard asked. “Oh, yeah!” I said, snapping my attention back to the ground. It was busy behind all of the crowds. There were little stalls where cooks were working up a frenzy to make little hot-dog like treats and popping corn. Others were quickly filling some bottles from large wine kegs and giving them to younger people in colourful outfits with bells on who were carrying boxes with prices next to them.Guards were rushing around, and I saw a group of what had to be mages marching by. I caught a snippet about ‘magic flares’ and ‘illusions’ before they brushed by.“This way, miss!” the young man said. He tapped my shoulder and nodded ahead before he took off.I had to jog to keep up.I was never the sort to get nervous in front of a crowd. In school, whenever we did group stuff, I often got to be the one to present things. I was a bit of an extrovert sometimes. Still, stepping out from between two of the stadium’s stalls only to see what had to be well over a thousand people standing up and cheering had my heart beating fast and my tummy flip-flopped a few times.“Whoa,” I said, but the sound was lost as a familiar voice boomed out from above.Standing on a floating platform lined by runes, with Zac, his outfit looking fresh and his smile radiant as he gestured for the crowd to be quieter. “Everyone! Welcome to Rosenbells thirty-second annual grand tournament!”If I had thought it loud before, the noise now was outright deafening. I reached up and pulled my bun ears down. It helped a bit.The boy with the clipboard placed his hands on my shoulders and guided me to a ramp next to the stage. “Go up when he calls you!” he shouted.I nodded.“Ladies and Gentlemen! We are about to begin! We will rotate until all sixty-four of our fighters across four brackets have cycled through! You will see legends born, blood spilled, and entrails spread out across the ground!”Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.“What?” I asked the clipboard guy. He blinked at me as if he didn’t understand. “I want to keep my entrails,” I explained.“Then win!” he shouted back before tapping my shoulder and walking off a half dozen steps.I was alone next to the stage.When the cheering began to calm down a little, Zac gestured to the far end of the stage from me. “Our first brave warrior to enter the arena today! Arugula! The Bloodletter!”Arugula jumped onto the stage, spread his arms wide, then bent his back until he was facing the sky. He roared, a bestial sound that shook the air and that had some of the kids watching squeaking in terror.He beat his exposed chest and stomped around in a tight circle screaming to the crowds who screamed right back. He reached behind his belt and pulled out a foot-long piece of wood with a spikey ball at the end. A twist of his hand and the ball fell, only stopping when the braided cord holding it snapped taut. He spun the flail around, then smacked it into his own hand. Blood spurted out of his palm, coving the flail’s head and splashing onto the ground.“Magnificient!” Zac shouted. “It seems Arugula’s thirst for blood knows no bounds!”The man on stage wiped a bloody hand across his face, then roared again.I had a sudden pressing need to be elsewhere.Then someone shoved me from behind and I stumbled up the ramp and onto the stage. I turned, spotting the clipboard boy wearing a blank expression as he betrayed me. A glowing semi-transparent wall appeared before me, blocking me from exiting the arena, then another appeared to one side, then the other. Soon there were walls all around and I was stuck on the stage with a grinning Arugula. “Hailing from mysterious lands comes today’s strangest contestant! The Dragons speaker, the happiest Bun in the West! Broccoli Bunch!”The crowd cheered.I smiled weakly and waved.“Aww, isn’t she just adorable?” Zac asked. “Like a bunny smiling at a wolf! Let us see how she fares! Arugula pointed at me with his bloody hand. “I am going to end you!” he shouted.“C-can’t we just be friends?” I asked.ArugulaDesired Quality: A punching bag.Dream: To rip an opponent in half before a crowd of horrified onlookers.I wanted to run, but there were walls all around. Arugula didn’t seem keen on negotiating. I... I had to fight? No, there had to be a time limit. I could drag it out. But that would be hard. Really hard. But I could do it! People would see that I didn’t wanna fight, and they’d stop it! “Begin!” Zac shouted.I stared up at the man. Wasn’t he meant to explain the rules? To rile up the crowd some more?It was only the crowd screaming that gave me the time to react. I dove to the side, barely avoiding the head of the flail as it swiped through where I’d just been. Arugula twisted around and his flail spun a quick orbit around him to come whipping back at me. I hopped over the swing, then landed and rolled as far from the man as I could.“Just stand still!” he roared.Swallowing, I back up towards the middle of one wall, then tapped it with a closed fist. It was as hard as stone, but slicker. No good. Arugula ran at me, charging headlong like a mad bull. I jumped up, planted a foot on his head, and skipped over him to land in the middle of the arena. The extra shove at the back of Arugula’s head sent him sprawling into the wall with a dull thud.The crowd roared with laughter. “Oh hoh! The bunny is mocking Arugula! Is he too weak for her tastes?” Zac asked. “We can only hope that the man caught an eyeful from under that pretty skirt in passing!” I glared up at Zac. That man was rude. My glare turned into wide-eyed shock as Arugula turned and came rushing back at me. His flail was glowing now.I spun out of its path, then gasped as I watched the head smack into the ground so hard it left a crater. Some sort of flail skill? Oh, that wasn’t good.“Are your friends watching, little bunny?” Arugula growled as he began to pace around me, he held his flail by the rope, spinning in around and around with helicopter-beats. A glance up and to the side showed Amaryllis, Awen and Booksie standing by the edge of their box. They looked worried.“I wonder, will they be disappointed that you’re so weak?” He grinned. “I could make it easy for you. No more dodging, just me, and your blood, and this arena covered in it.”I tightened my jaw. “You don’t want to be my friend, do you?” I asked.Arugula snorted. “Sure I do. You can become friends with my flail.”I felt a frown pulling my brows together. “No. That’s not what friendship is like. And this isn’t what I thought these fights would be like.”“Oh, did you think they’d be fun and ga-” Arugula paused mid word to lunge forwards, his flair a glowing line that tried to connect with my gut. I danced around the head, spun closer to Arugula, stepped around a poorly aimed kick, then ducked under an attempt to grab me by the throat. Another few quick steps and I was behind and past him. The crowd applauded whooped and hollered. “Fine, I’ll show you that we can fight, and have fun at the same time,” I said. “It might hurt a little, but there won’t be anything too bad. It’s like sparring, kinda,” Arugula rushed at me again.I shook my head. The man lacked imagination, that was his biggest problem. Maybe I could show him a few tricks?
Chapter One Hundred and Six — Git Good
Chapter One Hundred and Six — Git GoodI kept my distance from Arugula while I studied him. He was quick on the charge, but not faster than I was. His flail gave him decent range and a lot of power to his strikes, but after the initial hit it was slow to come back and strike again. He was tough too, but that was physically. Mentally he seemed a bit... off. Which I realized was a very rude thing to think about someone and I’d have to apologize once I was done beating him up to teach him how to have fun.“Alright Broc,” I muttered to myself. “Just need to git gud.”I rolled forwards, ended on the balls of my feet, and shot straight up and out of the reach of Arugula’s falling flail. The man roared as he looked up to follow my path.It made it extra easy to land with my feet up on his shoulders.Strong he might have been, but he couldn’t handle all of my weight dragging him back and down. Just as he started to tip back, arms swinging around to try and bat me off, I swung myself backwards so that I was standing almost perpendicular to his chest. Then I fired a burst of stamina into a jump.I went up into the air.Arugula went in the opposite direction.He landed hard on his back, flail clattering to the ground next to him. “Ohh, the little bunny has some bite. Arugula, on his back, prone as can be! But Broccoli isn’t taking it. What is she waiting for?” Zac shouted from above. The crowd was eating it up. I just found it kind of grating.“See how I did that?” I asked. “I tried not to hurt you, and now you’ve learnt an important lesson! This is how sparring should be,” I said.“I’m going to kill you!” Arugula roared as he jumped to his feet. “And when I’m done with you, I’m going to pluck the wings off that bird you were with, and that little blonde one? Oh, I’m going to have fun with her!” My smile froze.Balling my hands into fists, I stomped over to the man. “Mister Arugula, you can’t just say things like that. You shouldn’t even be thinking about them,” I said as I side stepped a vertical swipe from his flail. I reached out and grabbed his wrist. He grabbed my arm with his other hand. “Got you,” he growled.I smiled back. “You sure did.” I bunched up my legs under me and, using his arm as a sort of pivot, spun around so that I was hanging sideways, feet towards his tummy. Then I kicked as hard as I could.Arugula sprayed me with spit as he bent over double. He let go of my arm and let me fall, but I wasn’t over with him yet. Twisting around in mid-air, I landed on my hands, then pushed stamina into them to throw myself back into the air, all while still spinning. When I reached the apex of my jump, I wrenched myself around and shot out with one foot in a sort of horizontal roundhouse that ended with the heel of my sneaker impacting Arugula's chin.The man crumpled.I landed and spun around to bleed off the excess energy from my jump. It ended with me standing above Arugula, both hands on my hips. “Are you okay?” I asked.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the general skill: Kicking Combat Proficiency!“Oh, that’s neat,” I said.Ding! Four of your current skills are eligible for Merging: Hopping, Kicking Combat Proficiency, Physical Manakinesis, Makeshift Weapons Proficiency. “World’s tit’s she knocked that man out cold! Arugula the bloodletter is out! And without so much as a drop of Broccoli’s blood spilled!” Zac shouted.The walls went down around the arena and the sound of the crowd, once muted, hit me like a battering ram. I winced, but smiled and waved all the same. It was a mistake, waving just made them cheer all the louder.I gave up on that and instead used a bit of cleaning magic to get rid of the sweat I’d built up and the bit of spit Arugula had sprayed when I’d hit him. I was about to check in the man when a team of sylphs jumped onto the stage and rushed over to his side. They pressed glowing hands into his side until one of them, the one with the fanciest hat, nodded. “He’s clear,” he said.“Ma’am, do you need assistance?” another sylph asked.I shook my head. “No, thanks, my hit points are full,” I said. He nodded and moved over to the others who were tapping Arugula on the cheeks and waking him up.I looked up to see Zac, still talking to the crowds and cheering them on into greater fervor. I needed to have a talk with him, and my friends. “Ma’am, this way,” clipboard guy said as he ran up to me. He none-too-gently started to push me towards the back of the arena. “Hey!” I said. “I wanted to go see my friends.” I pointed to the stands where my friends were cheering, Awen, surprisingly, loudest of them all. I could hear her ‘I love you Broccoli’ from all the way down where I was.“You’ll have the opportunity to see them during the intermission. We can’t allow you to wander until then.”I wanted to disagree, but it would have been impolite, and the next thing I knew I was being pushed into the large waiting room.“Huh,” the large amazon I’d spoken to before was the first to speak. “You made it. And you’re not even covered in blood.”I tried on a smile, if only to hide my bit of annoyance. “I have Cleaning,” I explained before stepping deeper into the room. I was soon ignored by all the other fighters again. After the fight I just had, that suited me just fine. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.Stepping deeper into the building and past the armory, I found a little kitchenette area at the back. It was a little rude to just use someone else’s kettle, but I had a bag of tea on me still and I could really use a moment to calm down. So I set some water to boil atop a little rune-powered stove in one corner and sat down to think.First, the fight. For all that it had been violent, and a little scary, it was also fun. Was I becoming some sort of adrenaline junkie? Nah, that couldn’t be. It was just some normal fun, like sports but a bit more physical. I shook my head and looked at my notifications. You have two Merge Skills available. Way of the Killer Bun — Hopping, Kicking Combat Proficiency, Makeshift Weapon’s ProficiencyWay of the Mystic Bun — Hopping, Kicking Combat Proficiency, Physical ManakinesisThose... both sounded kind of cool. I frowned and tried to bring up more information about them, but got nothing for my efforts. The kettle started to whistle so I pulled it off and poured the tea into a cup I’d snatched from a cupboard. It tasted pretty good once I’d blown it cool.So, two merge skills. And I could only pick the one? I’d be losing some skills, but Amaryllis had said that merged skills generally retained a bit of their earlier skills... skillness. I needed more words for skill related stuff. HoppingRank C — 100%The Ability to hop. Your reflexes and timing for hops has increased. You can now hop higher and farther. You may now expend Stamina to increase the power of your hops.Was it worth it? I thought so. Picking from the two was also easy as pie. Ding! You have Merged the following skills:HoppingKicking Combat ProficiencyPhysical ManakinesisYou have unlocked the skill:Way of the Mystic Bun1 Cinnamon Bun Bun Class Skill Point Refunded!Do you wish to place this skill as a Class Skill or General Skill?That was an easy choice too. Into the class slot freed by Hopping it went. I downed the rest of my tea then eyed the results. Way of the Mystic BunRank F — 00%You have discovered the path of the Mystic Bun, combining devastating magic-laced physical attacks with incredible mobility. “Okay?” I wondered. That wasn’t helpful at all. The cheering from the crowds outside were a good reminder that I was going to be fighting again, and soon. I... I needed to prepare. I downed the rest of my tea, cleaned up my kettle and cup-because I wasn’t some barbarian that didn’t do the dishes-and placed everything back where I’d found it. Stepping back into the main room, I looked around, then walked over to the two guards standing next to the armory. “Ah, hello,” I said.The older of the two nodded to me. “Ma’am,” he said.“Um. If I want a weapon, do I need to do something?”He nodded. “You’re only allowed weapons from this armory in the ring. You need to sign them off with one of us, and return them at the end of the day, or when you’re eliminated. They’re all enchanted to do reduced damage against living tissue. Tricky bit of enchantment that.”“Oh, neat,” I said. “So can I just... go in?” He stepped to the side. “Enjoy yourself.”Grinning, I stepped into the room and took it all in. There were racks and racks of swords, shields, spears and axes. There were stranger weapons too. Whips and flails and tridents. None of them caught my eye as much as the one thing sitting in the corner of the room and collecting dust. It was perfect. A little square, but with plenty of handholds. There was a H-bar at its base acting as reinforcement, and the back had a bunch of straight ribs that looked nice and tough. It was only about waist high, and lifting it showed that it was on the heavier side, but that was okay.I set it against my shoulder and walked out of the door. “I’ll use this,” I said.The guard blinked. “Ma’am, that is a chair.”“Yeah,” I confirmed. “So do I need to sign something?” “That’s a chair,” he repeated.I nodded. “Yep. I haven’t actually tried sitting on it yet, but I’m sure it works just fine.”The guard scratched at his head, looked to his buddy, and after sharing some shrugs back and forth, he pulled a clipboard off of a nail holding it to the wall behind him. “Just sign here, I guess,” he said.I looked over the document, skimmed it real fast, then took the pencil next to it and signed my name in and wrote ‘a chair’ in the right box. “Thank you,” I said before I stepped back. I took my new chair and sat off to one side of the room. I would have to be careful in my next fight. No hopping meant way less mobility. Still, I was pretty sure I could move the same way by pushing stamina into my limbs, I just didn’t have a skill to make it easy for me anymore. I hopped on the spot a few times to test it out, and it seemed... okay?A bit annoying, but I would give it my all nonetheless! I shifted on my seat, then jumped to my feet. If I was going to be bored, I might as well grind some skills while I was at it.It was time for another cup of tea.
* * *
Cinnamon Bun Art Contest!
Welcome, one and all, to the first ever Cinnamon Bun Art Contest! (This chapter will soon exist as a repository for official art as well as a place to show off all the pretty fanart!)Let’s start with the fun part! The winners of this contest will receive the following:First Place: A signed paperback copy of Cinnamon Bun Volumes One and Two!Second Place: Your choice between a signed copy of Volumes One or Two! Third Place: Your choice between a signed copy of Volumes One or Two! This contest will run from Today (October 8th), to the 1st of November!How do you participate? Send your incredible artwork to me via PM on Royal Road or on Space Battles (please use a linkable site like Imgur to post your image) and it will be stored until the 1st of next month! On the 1st, all the artwork will be unveiled to my patrons who will be able to vote on the pieces they like the most, with yours truly acting as a tie-breaker. (Of note: you retain rights over your own art, I have no intention of using any of it for advertising, though the artwork will be posted on this very chapter for the world to see!)Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.A few small rules:
No lewds or overly suggestive images. Keep it PG13. Kissing and hugging and cuddles are fine, but... keep in mind that Broccoli and friends are all still teens.
There is a 2 piece-per-artist rule in place. I know some of you are insanely talented and could probably take all three places. (Basically: One prize per person)
By entering you consent to having your art posted on Royal Road, Space Battles and ScribbleHub for display.
If you do win, then I’ll contact you and ask for a P.O Box or mailing address to send the books to. (I regularly send signed copies to Europe and Asia and North America, so I don’t foresee any difficulties in reaching most participants, but if there is an issue with postage, we’ll figure it out!)
Super low-effort posts, or those wildly off-topic, will be ignored. Good memes will be shared on my Discord.
Winners will be determined by the 5th of November!
Keep warm! And may the bun be with you!
Chapter One Hundred and Seven — Bringing a Knife to a Chair Fight
Chapter One Hundred and Seven — Bringing a Knife to a Chair Fight When I got called up a second time, some of the nervousness from the first outing had left already. I followed a new clipboard person as he led me to the edge of the stage, then stood there while taking in all the crowds. The people were just as excited as before. And If anything, it seemed as if there were even more people packed in together in the stands. Sellers were running around, hawking big mugs of frothy beer and bits of meat on sticks. Copper and silver flashed in the bright sunlight and the entire area smelled like sweat and the sticky-sweet odour of carnival food. A band had set up next to the stage where they began to play a rumbly, growing fanfare with lots of brass and heavy drum beats that made the ground thrum with excited energy. I felt swept up by it. It made me feel lighter, and the weight of my chair on my shoulder was suddenly not a concern. “Got your snacks? Got your drinks? Well hang onto them because we are about to begin the second rounds of our single-elimination tournament!” Zac shouted from atop his floating platform. “On the right, we have the intrepid, the adorable, the absolutely brutal... Broccoli Bunch!” The first time he’d introduced me, the cheering had been lukewarm compared to Arugula’s. Now it was a whole bunch louder and I felt my ears drooping down in embarrassment even as my cheeks warmed. “Aww, would you look at that, the poor little miss is flushing! Good work lads, you finally got a maiden to blush!” Zac said. Laughter rolled across the entire stadium, followed by catcalls and whistles. I was going to have words with Zac. Big, rude words. Objectifying women was wrong. “Annnnd on the left, hailing from the distant Kingdom of the Endless Swells, the sneakiest blade in the night, we have Whispersteel the Sanguine-Eyed.”The cheers were a little weird this time, more roars of approval and claps than the happy sounds they’d been making earlier. Across from me, on his on side of the platform, was a shorter boy dressed all in black. He nodded to the crowd, his cowl bobbing up and down and shifting his dark cloak about. I kind of recognized him as one of the people who stayed in the shadows in the waiting room. “Will our bright and cheerful Bun be able to stand against the bloodthirsty Whispersteel? Let’s find out!” Clipboard guy gestured me forward and I hopped onto the stage. My landing wasn’t quite as stable as I was used to and I almost stumbled a step. I was still able to jump and hop, the muscle memory was there, but the fine precision that the Hopping skill gave me was missing, and I wasn’t sure if I could use stamina to jump super high anymore. Maybe I could, and I just needed to practice? I shook my head and set those concerns aside. I had a fight to win. “Are you ready to die?” Whispersteel shouted as he pointed a very large knife my way.“No, not really,” I said. “You’re very loud for someone called Whisper.”“Oh hoh, the pre-fight banter is starting already and Miss Bunch isn’t pulling her punches!” Zac said.Could the whole crowd hear me? Oh no. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to humiliate you!” Laughter rained down around us and I saw Whisper’s knuckles going white around the handle of his knife. “I am Whispersteel the Sanguine-Eyed. I have slaughtered and assassinated my way through entire dungeons. Fools fear my very name. Who are you to mock me?”I blinked as I parsed that. “Okay, so I have two questions. One, your eyes are actually a very pretty shade of brown, not sanguine. I... guess that’s not really a question, more of an observation. Um. Okay, an actual question then. If fools fear you, does that mean that smart people... don’t?”Whispersteel poofed away. “Oh, and the fight has begun!” Zac yelled. Four mages set near the crowd raised staves and walls appeared all around the stage. I spun, looking not so much at the walls, but rather for Whisper who has yet to reappear. “Die!” Came a scream from behind me. I ducked and swept into a low kick.A hot line sliced itself across my cheek, barely missing my eye.Whispersteel reappeared mid-jump, arm extended in a lunge that had been meant for my neck. Had he not screamed... Whisper landed and aimed another stab down at me, knife glinting as it reflected the bluish walls surrounding us. I landed on my back and rolled away from Whisper’s wild stabs. “Think you’re clever, huh?” he asked as he began to stomp towards me. I skipped up to my feet and spun to face Whisper only to find that he’d gone invisible again. That... was really annoying. A slight shift from below told me he was a lot closer than I wanted. I hopped back, eying the mostly-empty battlefield while bringing a hand up towards my cheek. The cut there was shallow, but it still stung. A bit of cleaning magic would keep it clean. Which also gave me an idea. I punched forwards, hitting empty air, but also launching a tiny ball of cleaning magic that shot across the arena and booped the far wall. “Oh! The Bun has some tricks in her sleeves! Was the chair merely a distraction? Was she a little wizard all along?” Zac wondered.I ignored him and started firing off more and more little balls of cleaning magic, interspersed with flame-thrower like gouts of glowing cleanliness.I didn’t take long to catch Whisper in the effect, the magic splashing harmlessly off of his side. He was running towards me.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.Eyes wide, I rolled to the side, then sprung to my feet, brandishing my chair. With both hands holding onto the seat and back of the chair, I thrust it toward where I thought Whisper would be.A knife's point thudded through the seat.Whisper appeared before me, a wide grin on his face. “Think you’ll last forever?” he asked.“I last as long as I last,” I said. “This would be a lot easier if we were friendly.”Whispersteel Desired Quality: Someone to fawn over how cool he is.Dream: To make his Mama proud.“Oh my gosh,” I said. “You’re here to make your mom proud?”Whisper’s smile turned a little strange. “What?”“That’s so cute!” I would have clapped, but my hands were busy with the chair. “Is she in the crowd?” “Leave my mother out of this!” he said. I spun the chair, a quick twisting jerk that tore the knife out of Whisper’s hand and sent it clattering off to the side. Lowering the seat, I reached out and grabbed Whisper by the wrist and tugged him towards me while shoving the chair forward.The dull ‘thunk’ of the edge of the seat hitting the boy in the shin made me wince in sympathy. Whisper pulled his arm back, then hopped back on one leg, his face going all sorts of interesting shades. “I’m going to stab you so hard,” he gasped.I smiled back. “Do you want to sit until that stops hurting?” I asked. “We can ask Zac for a time-out.”“Ohh, and the taunting continues! This bun is savage!” Zac said from above.“That wasn’t meant to be a taunt!” I shouted back. “I was worried about Mister Steel. Shins hurt a lot when you bang them.”“Oh, the poor lad! She’s just adding insult to injury!” “I don’t mean to! He’s just easy to accidentally insult!” I screamed back, then I slapped a hand over my mouth.Whisper was glaring so hard his eyes were twitching. With a roar, he charged at me while pulling out a pair of foot-long knives from somewhere under his cloak. I ‘eeped’ and stepped back, dragging my chair with me to make distance between us. Whisper planted a foot on the seat of my chair, halting it in place, then he vaulted over it, both knives held in icepick grips aiming for my head. I dove forwards, tipping the chair to make more room as I slipped between it and Whisper, then rolled onto my feet on the other side. A quick turn later and I kicked the chair back up to standing. I held onto it in both hands, moving it from side to side as if fending off a lion while Whisper moved from side to side and tried to flank me. It couldn’t last. At some point he’d remember he could go invisible, or he'd pull out another assassin-y trick and I’d be in a whole heap of trouble. So I jumped forwards, chair spearing ahead so that all four legs poked towards Whisper. Whisper spun around the blow and stabbed out with one arm. I pulled the chair back and twisted it so that his arm passed between the bars at the back. Twisting it more had his arm pulling up at an awkward angle, and just like that, Whisper was open.I slapped him.The sound echoed out across the arena.Whisper touched his cheek, then looked up to me with a look between anger and confusion. “You slapped me?”“Sorry?” I said.Tears started to appear in his eyes even though he was trying hard to blink them away. I swallowed. Was, was I a bully now? “I’m so, so sorry,” I said. I carefully helped him move his hand out from the bars of the chair, then pulled Whisper into a hug. “It’ll be okay, don’t worry. I, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”“Don’t, don’t hug me!” he said.“Shush now, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Um. I can forfeit and you’ll win. Would that make you feel better?” “No, no it wouldn’t.” I tsked. “Look, we can end this, and we’ll find your mom. I’ll tell her that you were super cool, okay?” I pulled back a little and set the chair to one side, then plopped myself down on it before patting my lap. “Did you want to sit and talk about it?” “World almighty!” Zac said in a whisper that carried across the arena. “She’s not just taking the boy out, she’s destroying him!”I huffed and pouted up at Zac. “I’m not destroying anyone. I’m not a bully. I’m not! I said I was sorry already, and I’ll make up for it!” “I don’t need your help!” Whisper shouted.“... Are you sure?” I asked.Whisper tossed his knives to the ground and stalked off towards the edge of the stage in a huff. “I’m done,” he said. “I can’t do this.”I raised a hand reaching out to try and grab him, but my attempt was cut short when the shields went down around the arena and the crowd broke out into confused cheers.“She did it! She did it! The bun completely broke that man’s will to fight! How on Dirt did she do that? And will she be able to repeat it? We’ll have to find out in the next round, because she is moving on!” I slumped a little, even as the crowd’s fervour grew louder. Sighing, I picked up my chair and walked off the stage. “Here,” I said as I pushed it into the clipboard guy’s hands. “I’m going to go see my friends,” I said.I could really use a pick-me-up. Some banter with Amaryllis, some smiling with Awen. Maybe a hug or two. Oh, and a cup of tea. Yeah, I needed a pick-me-up, and I knew that after this part of the tournament there would be some puppetry shows and fireworks and other spectacles to watch. That would certainly work to get my mind off of fighting for a bit.I think I decided that tournaments just weren’t for me. They were too emotionally draining.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eight — Buff Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Eight — Buff Bun “You were wonderful!” were Awen’s first words as I made it to the top of the stairs leading into the box where my friends were waiting. I hadn’t been allowed to see the other fights because that would’ve been cheating, but as soon as they were over I was let loose to go see my buddies.I braced myself a moment before Awen rushed up to me, expecting her to glomp me off my feet, but she paused a step before me, then wrapped me into a big happy hug. I laughed into her shoulder. “Thanks!” I said.“Oh, the way you beat up that big mean guy, and the way you dissected that Whisper person. I think I saw him crying when he ran off the stage. It was...” Awen flushes. “It was wonderful to see you dominating people like that.”I grinned even harder. “It wasn’t as fun as it probably looked, but thanks. I’m sure you would have done well. We could train together so that we’re both good at, uh, dominating people.”“Awa.”I squeezed Awen back, then stepped to the side to grin at Amaryllis and Booksie. “Heya!” “Here,” Amaryllis said as she handed me a notebook. I stared at it for a moment before taking the leatherbound book and flipping it open. There were names and lists on it. “Those are all of the remaining competitors in your bracket. You’re down to just six possible competitors. Of those, there are three that you would have a difficult time facing.”I flipped the page over, skimmed a description of some woman that used a whip to fight, then handed the notebook back. “It’s not fair if I’m the only one that knows the competition. But thanks for doing this for me, it’s awfully nice of you!”Amaryllis huffed and refused to take the notes back. “Most of the competitors have spent some time together, it’s a sure thing that they’ve studied each others’ tactics and fighting styles and skills.”“Yeah, but they don’t know mine, so it’s fair.”Amaryllis pouted for just a moment before her self-control took over and she snapped the book from out of my hand. She must have been distracted because she didn’t see my thank-you hug coming.“You’re still the best,” I said. “And you made that for me, so it’s extra cool.”“I made it so that you’d win and earn us more money.”“Of course you did,” I said.“Don’t take that tone with me!” she said before poking at my tummy with the back of her talons. I broke off the hug with a giggle. “Ah, hey Booksie!” “Hello,” Booksie said. “Do I get a hug too?” There was only one correct response to that. It was weird hugging someone with big ears on their head like mine. It tickled a bunch when our ears wrapped around each other.“Okay!” I said. “So, what’s next?”Amaryllis shook her head. “Next we sit down and enjoy the intermission. The bouts only resume in an hour or so. I’ve been meaning to see the puppet show.”“Are puppet shows a big thing where you’re from?” I asked.Amaryllis made a so-so gesture. “They’re not as common as actual theater pieces, but my family hired puppeteers for our yearly winter festival from a local troupe. I always enjoyed them more than actors in rubbish costumes arguing on a stage.”“So, did you always secretly want to be one off those puppeteers?” I asked.“What? No, this class is merely extremely convenient,” she said.“You didn’t dream of joining the puppeteer troupe and running off for a life of adventure and fun with them?” Amaryllis looked away. “No. That's a ridiculous idea.”We moved up to the front of the box and sat down on what had to be the best seats in the box. No one else seemed to make a fuss, some even pointed at me and I waved back at them.“You’re going to gain something of a following if you continue,” Amaryllis said.“A following?” I asked.She nodded, and so did Booksie on her other side. “Oh yes. People attach themselves to all sorts of silly things, most especially those that entertain them, and your pathetic flailing on-stage was nothing if not entertaining. Of all the people in your bracket, you’re the one that looks like she put the least effort into her fights, and you’ve won every one so far.”I tapped at my chin. “Well, that’s obviously a bit wrong. The fights are very strange, but I wouldn’t call them easy by any stretch.”Amaryllis shrugged. “I’m telling you what it looked like from up here.”“You looked really impressive,” Awen said. “I, ah, was on the edge of my seat the entire time you were down there.”I plopped myself down, Awen on the one side, Amaryllis on the other with Booksie next to her. “Thanks. So, um... should we eat while we watch the show?” There was music being played by three people, a lutist, a fiddler and someone with a big stand-up bass, all of them hovering in the air on platforms just like Zac’s. They were keeping people entertained with a folksy little beat-the fiddler was quite good, if a little frantic-while a group of workers hurried to change the stage below, covering it in wooden planks and mounting a gantry-like thing above it. Amaryllis waved one of the people selling snacks over, and soon we all had popcorn and mystery meat-Booksie and I skipped that one-and different sorts of little cakes and cookies and one boy was selling fist-sized burritos filled with beans and tomatoes. Silver changed hands and Amaryllis bought enough food for a dozen people; the moment she started flashing money more sellers slid closer. Then, when we were running out of place to put it all, she shooed them off with a beat of her wings. The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.I was halfway through a chocolatey pastry when the show below started. The gantries over the stage had been placed to allow for a complex array of thin wires to be placed that held up a dozen puppets, and also bits of scenery like little walls and cut-outs of bushes and trees that the puppeteers could pull up at a moment’s notice.An older gentleman with a deep voice sat in a lotus position atop a platform and came to a halt above the stage. He cleared his throat, then began to narrate a story in a deep baritone that carried across the stadium.The play was cute. Something like A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but with more strange characters. I guessed that having magic in a story lost some of its lustre when real magic was a thing. “Are fairies real?” I whispered over to Amaryllis.“They’re a myth,” she said right back. Her eyes were locked onto the scene below. I stayed quiet for the rest of the show, Amaryllis seemed to be loving it so I didn’t wanna interrupt her fun.As the play went on and we finished up, I started to get a little thirsty. My backpack was still tucked under the bench, so I pulled it out and started fixing myself a cup of tea, one ear opened to the play.It wasn’t boring, not really. There was a lot of skill on display from the puppeteers, and the voice actors were really good. But plays weren’t my thing, and I had maybe been a little spoiled with good media back home.I gestured at Booksie and Awen with my kettle, then at their nods poured three cups. Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Tea Making skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!I grinned. Finally! Tea MakingRank E -00%The Ability to make tea. Your Tea now assists the drinker.I handed the girls their cups while wondering about that last line. How could tea help? Other than the normal ways, of course.An insight on my cup helped a bit. A cup of black tea brewed by an amateur. Increases alertness and wakefulness. “Huh,” I said. I downed my cup and reached for my bag again. A bit more boiling water, this time without adding anything to the kettle itself and I was making a second cup of tea, this time with some dried dandelion flowers.A cup of dandelion tea brewed by an amateur. Cures minor bladder issues and reduces swelling.I shrugged and downed the cup. The next plant I tried was milk thistle. The pretty pink flowers had gone a little stale in my pack, but they were still good for tea.A cup of milk thistle tea brewed by an amateur. Assists the liver. Helps process lesser poisons.That was useful! So far the buffs I’d gotten from the teas I had on hand weren’t all that impressive, but I was sure that could change with the right tea. I finished off the last of my cup and then cleaned everything off with a pinch of magic before sorting it all away. I jumped in my seat as the show below ended and people clapped while the actors and puppet masters bowed. Amaryllis climbed to her feet and started beating her wings against her sides in some sort of weird parody of the chicken dance. Was she... clapping?I joined in a moment later. “You really enjoyed that,” I said.“It was brilliant,” Amaryllis declared. “The play was a little stale. An old story with nothing new to it, but the motion and skill those puppeteers displayed. They truly know their craft. I want to meet them.”“Sure!” I said. “We can go do that right now, if you want.” I scratched my head just under the rim of my hat. “I need to, ah, stop by an apothecary, if one is open.”“What for?” Amaryllis asked. “Just need some herbs,” I said.She cocked her head to the side. “I thought you were against cheating.”I shook my head. “No no, my Tea Making skill, it ranked up. I can now buff myself with tea. And I don’t need to stop there now. We could go tomorrow?”“I hardly think you need more musculature, as much as Awen would probably appreciate it.”“Huh? No, buff means... uh.”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “I know what buffing is. C’mon, puppeteers first. There’s only so long left to the intermission. We can worry about your obsession with leafy water some other time.”“Cool!” I said. I grabbed Awen and Booksie and helped them to their feet. “Let’s go!“Miss Bunch?” I turned to find one of the clipboard people standing in the row between benches. He looked quite studious with his board held up before him. “Yup, that’s me,” I said.“The next match begins in half an hour. We’re gathering all the champions now. Could you follow me back to the waiting rooms?” he asked.“Aww, darn,” I said. “I’m going to say goodbye to my friends first, alright?” “Of course,” he said before stepping back.I turned and yoinked Booksie into a big hug. “I’ll see you in a bit!” I said.Then it was Amaryllis’ turn. I think I had trained her well because she didn’t protest against the cuddling at all. It was nice, especially since her feathers felt funny. “Do try not to make a fool of yourself,” she said.“I’ll try!” I said. “Er— not to, that is.”She snorted and shook her head. “Moron.”Then it was Awen’s turn for another hug. “See you in a bit!” I said.“Awa, I’ll, I’ll be cheering you on, Broccoli.”“Ah, my number one fan, huh?” I said. “Yes. Yes definitely,” was her quick reply. “Beat the, um, stuffing out of them. But don’t get hurt.”I grinned and pulled back. “Okay! I’ll see you all once I’m done!” And with that, my little intermission ended.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Nine — Civility
Chapter One Hundred and Nine — Civility “Entering the third round of this competition, the first semifinal bout of the day, is Broccoli.... Bunch!” Zac shouted. “And her trusty chair!”I stepped onto the stage, waved at the crowds that had, if anything, grown bigger since that morning, then focused really hard on my breathing. I set my chair down to the side, then sat down on it with a plop. I folded one leg over the other, then twisted and sat in the other direction. It didn’t make it any more comfortable.“Oh my, it seems our little bun is nervous. And no wonder! On the right, one of the most powerful mages in this competition, the Lord of Dust, Weatherby!” The crowd roared as, with a huge burst of dust that spun into the air like a tiny cyclone, a man jumped up and crashed onto the far end of the stage. He was tall, with salt and pepper hair and a large white coat that had a bit of a lab-coat look to it. Beneath that, he was wearing normal clothes with tons of pouches sewn into them. He shifted where he landed, then reached up to adjust the large glasses perched on the tip of his nose. “Greetings, Miss Bunch,” he said.“Oh, um, hi,” I said. “Sorry, that was rude of me. I should have said hello already.”“Nonsense, it’s fine if you were merely a little slow. After all, it seems as if you’re paralyzed with fear. I assure you, while I fully intend to defeat you, I won’t do so while causing any damage that cannot be healed or tended to.”“Oh, thanks,” I said. “But I’m not afraid?”“Miss Bunch, your legs are trembling in terror.” Weatherby shifted so that he fell into a sort of fighting stance, arms by his sides and legs bent just-so. I felt my cheeks burning up. “That’s not ‘cause I’m scared,” I said. “There was a line at the bathroom and I’ve been drinking a lot of tea.”Weatherby didn’t seem to know how to process that. I grit my teeth together and tried to think dry thoughts. “Can we just end this?”“Oh-hoh,” Zac said. “It seems as if our bun is done with the backtalk. The walls are going up... the last bets are coming in... and the fight begins!” Magical walls sprang up all around us and I got off my chair and shifted into a sprinter’s stance, ready to cut the distance between myself and Weatherby. “Well then, I suppose we ought to begin,” Weatherby said. Twin pillars of brownish-black dust burst out of the oversized pockets of his coat, shot out towards the corners of the arena, then with a forward swipe of his arms, the two pillars came rushing down where I stood.I took one lunging step forwards, then rolled to the side to avoid one of the bigger pillars before hopping above the second as it swept over the ground. Where it passed, the stone surface of the arena was scoured clean. Landing on the balls of my feet, I prepared to run towards Weatherby, only to see the man raising a hand my way while a meter-long spear-shaped dust construct hovered over his shoulder. “Oh, shoot,” I said.I tried to twist out of the way, but I knew there was no way I was avoiding that. Weatherby had me pinned right where he wanted me. I grit my teeth and jerked a knee upwards while blasting a wave of cleaning magic forwards. Amaryllis had said that sometimes magic interfered with other magics and could help mitigate some of the damage. I just had to hope for the best.The dust spear rammed into my thin barrier of cleaning magic and instantly broke apart. Particles of dust still pelted me, but with none of the force I had been expecting.I stumbled to the side then regained my balance with a swing of my arms. Had my Cleaning magic negated his Dust magic? Could that even happen?Hopping backwards to make some room between us, I kept an eye on the two dusty tendrils. When one of them snapped forwards I shifted to the side and fired a ball of cleaning magic into-and through-the magical construct. It worked! Dust fell to the ground, some of it evaporating like water being spritzed onto an open fire. Still, that didn’t mean I could block every blow... not unless I used my aura. Biting my lower lip, I waited for the next dust lance to come, but Weatherby was a clever man, and he fired three bolts of magic all at once. I funneled magic into my cleaning aura and brought an arm up to intercept one of the bolts. No way was I going to stand there and take the blow head-on.The nearest bolt burst apart a dozen centimeters away from my palm, turning into little more than glowing ashes that passed with as much strength as someone blowing air really hard. I grinned. I was covered.Running up towards Weatherby, I narrowed my eyes and ignored the two dusty tendrils as they came crashing down on me. The air filled with glowing motes. I jumped out of them and aimed a snap-kick towards my opponent’s chest. He slapped my foot aside while taking a long step back and to the side. “Aura magic?” he asked.“Cleaning,” I explained.“Interesting. My Dust Magic is at Journeyman, I didn’t think simple Cleaning magic could do anything against it.”“Mine’s at Expert,” I said as I moved closer to him.Weatherby chuckled. “I see. I didn’t think I would witness weaponized Cleaning magic. What an interesting twist.”“Thanks!” I said. “I just work with what I’m given.”Weatherby nodded along, hands slipping into his coat. “Impressive,” he said. Then a whole pile of dust flew towards my face.I pushed more mana into my cleaning aura, turning the dust into little more than a cloud of sparkling motes. A cloud that parted when a staff came rushing out of it.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.“Eep!” I ducked to the side, barely avoiding the staff before it stopped, then shot off to the side.Two dull ‘thwaps’ sounded out and I winced as I stumbled back. He’d whapped my ears!“Terribly sorry. That must be rather painful. I’m rather surprised you didn’t pull them back,” Weatherby said.I twitched my ears this way and that, then with a bit of concentration managed to make them fold around and back. “They’re new,” I said.“That would explain the second pair of ears,” he observed.I looked over to the man, eying his new weapon with trepidation. The staff was about as tall as he was and was covered in little carvings, all geometrically precise and square. “Where were you hiding that?” I asked.Weatherby lifted the staff, twisted his wrists, and split it apart. “My coat,” he said.“That’s neat!” I said.“Why thank you. I do prefer magical combat, but sometimes rapping a foe on the head with a large stick just works.”I grinned. “You’re pretty fun,” I said as I moved over to my chair. I kicked the legs and used the momentum of that to bring the chair up onto my shoulders. I took a moment to just catch my breath and control my bladder. “I hope you don’t mind me finishing this in a hurry?”“You do seem somewhat indisposed,” Weatherby said. “I must say, this fight has been enjoyable so far. I wouldn’t want to end it on a negative note.”I smiled over to him. “You’re pretty nice. I’m surprised you’re in the competition. Are you new to adventuring and such?”Weatherby raised one black and white eyebrow. “Not quite. I discovered a new dungeon and decided to change my classes. I’m a bit old for it, but I had some interesting ideas. This is merely a test to see how those ideas pan out.”“Ah, two new classes then?” I asked. “What’s the second? Mine’s Wonderlander!” Weatherby smiled back and spun his staff around. “Merely Fire Mage. I had ideas about combining Dust and Fire magic.”I blinked. “Are you trying to make dust explosions?” I gasped. “You’re making magic thermobaric bombs! That’s so cool!” Weatherby lowered his staff a little. “You’re familiar with the theory?” he asked.“Heck yeah! Those make huge explosions. You’ll put my little fireballs to shame.” I lunged at Weatherby, chair legs spearing out at him. He smacked the chair aside, and with the reverse swing of his staff, tried to hit me in the head. I grabbed his staff, letting go of the chair for a moment. I wanted to use it as a way to pivot my legs up to kick Weatherby, but he twisted his end of the staff and left me with a foot-long bit of wood.Ducking to the side, I avoided a jab, then I used the stick I now had to smack away a swipe. Grinning, I pushed some stamina into my legs and shot up towards Weatherby. It was only after I’d jumped that I remembered that I didn’t know if I could do that or not. A question that had kind of just answered itself as I flew forwards. A quick snap-kick hit him in the chest, but the older man just grunted and used my position to throw a punch that hit me in the lower tummy.I stumbled back and raised a hand as a time-out. “Oh, that was mean,” I said as I rubbed my stomach. “I almost lost control there.”“Apologies,” Weatherby said. Then he stabbed out at me with his shortened staff. I was already bending forwards, so I rolled out of the way, flicked the small bit of wood I had back towards Weatherby, and, since it was close, I picked up my chair before spinning around.Weatherby didn’t seem to expect me to charge him headlong with my chair before me like some sort of battering ram. He landed a blow on my head, but other than making my helmet ring a bit it didn’t stop me from pushing him back. I set the chair down, placed a foot on it, and used it as a jumping point so that I could punch into Weatherby knees first. He stumbled back, hitting the wall behind him. He brought his staff up, but I was already spinning around.With both hands on my chair, I shoved it forwards and pinned Weatherby in a triangle made from the seat’s bottom, its back, and the wall behind him. His arms and staff were pinned to his side, but it didn’t stop him from kicking out at me and sending a burst of dust magic towards me.I ignored the kick that hit my thigh with a grunt and fired off a big burst of cleaning magic to ward off the dust. When it cleared, I had a hand raised in a fist, aiming right towards Weatherby.“I forfeit,” he said.I paused. “Oh. Okay then,” I said as I took a step back. I placed the chair next to me. “Need a sit?” He smiled. “I’m quite well. I merely couldn’t see a way out of that particular bind that wouldn’t harm both of us more than would be appropriate for a fight like this.”I nodded. “That’s kind of you.”He extended his hand and we shook.“We should get together later, talk explosions,” I said. “Certainly,” Weatherby said with a knowing grin. I smiled back. There was a certain understanding between people like us. Zac cut in from above. “What a startling end to the fight! Truly, a display of civility amidst combat and-”“Lower the walls Zac!” I shouted.The spokesperson froze. “Pardon?” I winced, legs crossing. “Lower those walls right away or... or I’ll do mean things to you! Hurry, I drank too much tea!” There was a lot of laughter, but that didn’t matter. The moment the walls faded away I was bolting out of the arena on a straight path towards the nearest bathroom.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ten — Losing is Fun
Chapter One Hundred and Ten — Losing is Fun I was kind of excited for the last fight. I bounced on the side of the stage, feeling a ton lighter after I had visited the facilities. The crowds seemed just as excited as I was to get things going.“Ladies, gentlemen, others! Welcome to the finals!”Wild whistles and cheers filled the air and the band joined in with an upbeat fanfare that was almost lost in the sea of noise.“In this last bout of our lowest bracket, we will see two incredible warriors pit their skill and cunning against each other in a battle that you will be telling your grandchildren about!” Zac yelled. “On the right, hailing from the deep sun-scorched hell of the Ostri Desert, a lady of the shifting sands, comes Orion Firstdaughter, the Sandsword!”The name suggested that Orion was a girl, but it was hard to tell. The person that danced onto the stage was one of the tall Ostri people, her body covered in tan wraps broken only where thumb-thick metal rods poked into and through her arms and legs like extreme piercings. She didn’t look very girlish at first, but she was thinner, more lithe, than any of the Ostri I’d yet seen. Her wraps had tiny, subtle flowers embroidered into its material along the edges. They didn’t look super fashionable, but were probably nice and cosy when worn in the open desert. I couldn’t imagine the metal bars pinned through her limbs were the same though.“Hailing from lands unknown, the strangest competitor in this tournament, and one that has won some lucky folks a lot of gold, the one, the only, Broccoli Bunch!”I hopped up onto the stage and placed my chair down next to me so that I could wave at all the people cheering. I was never one for being the centre of attention, but I could see why some people liked it.“I have heard some about your exploits,” Orion said. Her voice was scratchy and smooth, with just the hint of an accent that was hard to place. British, maybe? “You fight strangely, but to great success. Cunning in the face of power. Respectable.”“Ah, thank you,” I said. “I haven’t heard anything about you, I didn’t want to cheat or anything, but I’ve heard that the Ostri are really tough and honourable. I hope we have a fun spar!” Orion nodded, her upper body dipping in a sort of almost-bow. “You are interesting, little bun. I think that were you to spend time in the desert many males would ask you to carry their seed.”“Uh.” I looked away. “Th-thanks, I think. I’m not ready to be a mommy yet though.”Orion stared at me, beady eyes fixed on me through her goggles. “When a male gives a female his seed pouch, it means he wishes to settle. It does not make you pregnant,” Orion explained slowly. “That comes later.”“Oh.” I scratched my cheek. “Sorry. I guess I kind of assumed there. I should learn more about the Ostri before I put my foot in my mouth even more.”“All in due time,” Orion said. She reached to her waist, where two swords hung from her belt in metal loops. She drew them out smoothly, the air ringing with the sound of metal sliding over metal. They were strange swords, curved, but with a heavy triangular profile, and about as long as my arm from wrist to shoulder. “Nice sword!” I said. “Real curvy. All I have is this chair.”Orion tilted her head to the side. “Do you want me to set my khopesh aside? It would be a more fair test of our skills.”I shook my head. “It’s okay! As long as you don’t kill me or anything.”Orion shifted, long limbs snapping to her sides with her swords spun around in tight arcs around her hands, ending with the left in an icepick grip and the right held out before her. “My swords will only cut that which I will them to.”The walls went up around us and I picked up my chair. “Let’s start then!” She was fast. That was the first thing I noted. In less time than it took to blink Orion was swooping down from above, swords swinging in from two directions.I shoved my chair up, trying to block the path of the swords, but her swords slid through the chair as if it was carved out of butter. I stumbled back, barely avoiding the tip of one blade while the other raced in from below.Thinking fast, I jumped backwards, planted a foot against the wall, and let myself fall. When I was nearly horizontal I shot forwards with a burst of stamina that sent me flying past Orion to roll back to my feet a few paces behind her. “Wow, that was scary!” I said.“Indeed,” Orion said.She raised a hand towards me. The rods in her arms started to glow a hot red and I saw the intricate form of runes glowing through the wraps over her skin.I jumped to the side just as a burst of air exploded out ahead of Orion. The sudden wind picked me and threw me off my feet. My hat would have flown off if it wasn’t for the holes with my ears stuck through them.I stood onto shaky legs and shook my head to clear it. “That was something,” I said.“I didn’t want to use my fire, lightning or blood runes. It wouldn’t do to kill such a promising opponent when you’ve been nothing but cordial,” Orion said. “That’s appreciated,” I said. “Um. How hard have you been holding back in this tournament?” I asked.“I’m an Ostri warrior,” was Orion’s reply.“Right.” I shot forwards and past Orion, narrowly avoiding a lazy swipe of her sword. Feet bunched before me, I landed on the wall, then shot back towards Orion’s back.She twisted around, moving far faster than I thought possible for someone so big. One of her swords dropped and her huge hand wrapped around the leg I was trying to kick her with. Stolen novel; please report.My eyes went wide as she spun me around in the air and smacked me into the ground back-first.I coughed, air blasted out of my lungs while little stars flashed through my vision.“Are you well?” Orion asked as she looked down to me.Health 127/135Stamina 97/145Mana 120/120“I guess so,” I said. “Bit, ah, winded.” I rolled over onto my tummy, then pushed myself up to my feet. Rubbing the back of a hand across my mouth, I cleaned it of saliva. “You’re pretty fast.”“You’re rather bouncy.” Orion said.I grinned. “I don’t think I’m gonna win this one,” I said.“Not unless you have a lot more hidden under your wraps.”I shook my head. “Nope, but I can try!” I decided that if I was going to lose, I might as well have some fun with it. I bounced over to Orion, ducked under a quick swipe of her sword-while making sure my ears were folded back-and then hopped up to kick her in the chest. At least, that’s what I tried to do, she twisted around the kick and flicked her sword to the ground where it stuck with a twang. What followed was a quick and sloppy exchange of blows. For every kick I tried, Orion had a simple counter, every punch was casually pushed to the side, and my one attempt to hit her with a burst of cleaning magic was deflected by a magical shield that sprouted from the runes on her arms. I tried infusing my kicks with some mana, but all that did was push Orion into doing the same. I knew things weren’t going to end well before she slapped my kicking foot down, spun around, and rammed the heel of a boot into my gut.I crashed onto my back for a second time. “Ow.”Rolling over, I found myself right next to a bit of my chair, just a bit of the leg and some of the bars that made up the back of it. I wrapped a hand around the leg and got to my feet. Swinging it around in a little flourish, I turned to face Orion, now fully armed. Orion tugged one of her swords out of the ground.I pouted. “I’m afraid I can’t hold back forever. Your skills are lacking. I would suggest training a great deal more,” Orion said.I nodded. “Yeah, I figured as much.”“Good.”And then she was right in my face, my stick was flung off to the side, and a fist was rocketing towards my chin.
* * *
I blinked awake in a room that was a whole lot darker than the arena had been. My hat was gone, and I was resting on something soft and warm. Staring up, I found myself meeting Awen’s bright blue eyes. “Did I lose?” I asked.“Awa, a little bit?”A snort from somewhere else in the room announced Amaryllis’ presence. “You can’t lose a little bit. It’s an all or nothing sort of thing.”“I think she was trying to make me feel better about it,” I observed as I shifted around and got up. I’d been resting my head on Awen’s lap, and judging by the way my hair was all straightened out, she had been combing me while I slept. “That’s a waste of time,” Amaryllis said. “I doubt many things could get you down.”I sat on the edge of what turned out to be a little cot, then took in the room. It wasn’t an infirmary or anything like that. More of a bedroom that had been cleared of furniture. There was a little moldy smell in the air and the small window in the corner was covered up by thick drapes. “I did just lose,” I pointed out.She crossed her wings. “And did that make you sad?”I thought about it for a moment. “Not really, I guess. More... minorly disappointed. But I did get to have lots of fun and I got lots of practice in!” I could sorta feel two notifications waiting for my attention, though maybe feel wasn’t the right word. It was more like a constant reminder in the back of my mind to not forget to buy milk, but different. “Give me a second,” I said. Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Makeshift Weapons Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C Costs One General Skill Point!That was handy! I wasn’t sure if I would spend the point on it just yet, but the skill had turned out to be really useful a few times already. I dismissed the notification and looked at the next one. Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Way of the Mystic Bun skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!“Awesome!” I cheered. “Awa, what is it?” Awen asked.“My new merge skill levelled up,” I said. “Way of the Mystic Bun. Ah, I’ll have to ask Booksie about it, but so far it seems like some sort of magic-using martial art. I bet it’s super cool at higher levels!”“Oh, wow,” Awen said. She clapped happily for me, then scooted over to the edge of the cot. “Um. What do we do now?” she asked.“Ah... I don’t know. I guess we collect our winnings and then we go out for lunch? I’m starving! Hey, wait, where’s Booksie?”Amaryllis sighed. “Like a chick after the first shiny thing she sees,” she muttered before tossing a jingling bag onto my lap. “I got a few more gold from the mustachio’d bastard than we had initially bargained for. I suppose it’ll be enough for you to pay for our meals.”“Miss Booksie is outside the room,” Awen answered my other question. “We can go now, if you want. Um, I think people might recognize you though. You’re quite popular now.”“We could grab lunch to go if it bothers you,” I said.“N-no, not unless it bothers you,” Awen said.Amaryllis sighed. “Idiots, the both of you. Now come on. I could use a bite too.”
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Chapter One Hundred and Eleven — Seize the Date
Chapter One Hundred and Eleven — Seize the Date It was during breakfast-the inn had a nice serving of ‘bun acceptable’ foods, which mostly meant that I got a plate full of fruits and some still-warm pastries (no eggs!) to munch on while the others chowed down on sausages and such-that the thought hit me.“Ah, we didn’t tell Rhawrexdee when to meet, did we?” I asked. “Who is that?” Booksie asked.“Oh, that’s the dragon. We’re supposed to meet him today,” I explained.Booksie nodded. “Ah, yes, the dragon. Did you want help with that?” I brightened. “We’d love help! What do you know about romance?” The bun flushed. “I might have read a book or two. And I’ve been on my share of dates and such. I never did find someone that was just right for me though.”I reached over and patted her head. “Then we’d love your help! I’ve never really been on a date and, um.” I looked towards Amaryllis, the question obvious in my eyes.“Don’t look at me that way, you daft moron,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t think harpy-dating customs would apply in this sort of situation, regardless of if I did or did not date anyone before.”“But you didn’t?” I asked.She turned her head away from me, stabbed a sausage with the tip of a talon, then tore a bite out of it. “Awa, I, I’ve been on dates before.”Amaryllis choked on her sausage. Awen wilted under our combined stares. Even Orange was looking at her weird. “Aw-awa, it was only a few times?” she shrank deeper into her seat. “Um. With some noblemen, and, and with some chaperones. Nothing untoward happened.”I shifted my seat so that I was a little closer and grabbed her hands. “Tell us! Was it romantic? Did you kiss anyone? Did the boys have nice chins?” Awen shook her head. “It wasn’t that nice. We just walked around and they bought me some things that I didn’t really want, and sometimes, when the chaperones were busy, they would get handsy. I didn’t enjoy it at all.”“You poor thing,” I said.“Perhaps I’ve been fortunate,” Booksie said. She was tapping a bit of lettuce contemplatively against her chin. “My first dates were... mixed, but some of the later ones were fun. I was a little older though. This was a few years before I left for Port Royal.”“They went well?” I asked. “How come?” “Ah, the boys were nice. We didn’t have too much in common unfortunately, but they were attractive. I can’t really pin what made them fun or not. Sorry. Waking up somewhere different the next morning is always awkward though.”A terribly inappropriate giggle escaped me at the same time as Awen gasped. Amaryllis just rolled her eyes, but her blasé attitude couldn’t hide her blush.The sudden screaming and yelling and general sounds of panic from outside had us all bolting to our feet.I picked up my shovel and pack and shot out of the door after my friends who were stumbling down the corridors of the inn. We burst out onto a street where people were running. It was easy enough to guess where Rhawrexdee had landed. We just needed to wade through the crowds moving in the opposite direction.The closer we got the centre of town, the fewer people there were. Only a few very brave guards remained, the armour over their legs clanking together with fright.We slipped past a rough formation of them and stepped onto the town square. Judging by the half-deconstructed scaffolding and the lack of a stage, the people in charge of yesterday’s festival had been hard at work taking things apart. That would be complicated somewhat, I imagined, by the dragon currently flattening one of the stages. Rhawrexdee was still as grand and formidable as when I had first laid eyes on him. More, maybe. His scales seemed freshly cleaned. Maybe he’d taken a dip in the ocean? His cart-sized head turned towards us and his lips peeled back to show off twin rows of glistening crocodile teeth. “Ah, you arrive at last. I was afraid that I’d need to start destroying parts of this town until you scurry out.”I felt Awen and Amaryllis slip behind me, and Booksie was rooted to the spot, ears ramrod straight above her head. “Hello Rhawrexdee!” I called out. “We weren’t sure when to expect you, so we were having breakfast at the inn while we waited.”The dragon tilted his head to the side. “Fair enough, I suppose. I myself despise skipping breakfast. A sheep a day keeps the teeth white and so on.”I nodded along. “Sure. I’m glad you showed up.”“I am nothing if not punctual, and also a dragon.” He shifted, long neck moving sinuously like the snake preparing to strike so that I had to look up to meet his eyes. “Now, I am certain you spent the last few days preparing to teach me how to court...” he glanced to my right where Amaryllis was standing. “Beautiful princess-y maidens?” I worked to keep my smile on. “Yup. We’ve been doing, ah, nothing but work on that. This entire time.”“Excellent,” he said.Oh, good, he was gullible and I wasn’t going to be eaten.“Yuuuup. We just need to, um, talk. Over there. For a moment. Hey, do you speak the local tongue?” “I do not,” Rhawrexdee said. “Though my mother did make me take lessons to learn ancient Pyrowalkian. We do need to keep to some of the older ways, after all.”“Brilliant!” I said as I grabbed onto my friends and dragged them off to the side. We stopped next to a neat pile of lumber. “We need a plan.”“Awa, we could run?”I shook my head. “He can fly.”Booksie raised a trembling hand. “May I ask... what exactly is going on?” Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.I swallowed. “Well, see, it goes something like this. That nice blue dragon over there wants to either learn how to convince princesses to go out with him, or he wants to eat people and take all of their gold. So, we just need to, um, teach him how to date princesses.”“Ah,” Booksie said. She turned to eye the dragon that was currently picking at what was no doubt some poor sheep’s innards stuck between his teeth. “And we can’t run?” she asked.“I don’t think so,” I said.Booksie took a deep breath to settle herself. “Well, we could try to teach him what he wants to know.”“Loath as I am to agree, the bun is right. If the dragon leaves satisfied he can fly off to be someone else’s problem,” Amaryllis said. “So, you’re volunteering to date him?” I asked.Amaryllis squawked. “World no.”“Then we’re in a bit of a pickle,” I said. Rhawrexdee didn’t seem like that bad a guy, once I looked past his tendency to eat cute fluffy sheep and also people. What he wanted wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary. Really, he just wanted to be loved, and that was perfectly okay. I wanted the same thing, though I was still waiting for the perfect person to show up before I started thinking about actual romance.“Awa,” Awen said. “If, if we have to, then we should try our best. Um. Miss Booksie can maybe help? And we can coach the dragon on how to be nicer?”I nodded. “That’s it. We just need someone, anyone, to act as his date.” I stared at Amaryllis.She glared back. “You... you moronic, half-witted, cretinous, imbecile.... Fine!” “You’ll do it?” I asked. “That, or I’ll ask the dragon to eat you in exchange for the date.”Grinning I swept Amaryllis into a quick hug. “Thank-you, thank-you!” She shoved me off with a huff. “Thank me if I managed to talk us out of this mess.”“Ah,” I said. “That might be a problem. He said he can only speak dragon and something called ancient Pyrowalkian.”Booksie looked up, her ears perking. “He speaks Tanyintian?” she asked. At my confused look, she tried to clarify. “It’s an old, old dialect. Before the founding of the Pyrowalkian Empire there was a kingdom called Pyro. Before the Pyro family-for which the kingdom was named-came into power, the region that would become this kingdom was a part of a nation called Tanyint. It is said to have been the most powerful nation to ever exist, until it slowly fell apart over the course of a century or two. I think the dragons had an alliance of sorts with their ruling family.” Booksie scratched at her cheek. “Sorry. It’s just an interesting history. I can speak it a bit. There are a lot of older books on magic, especially enchanting, that used Tanyint script.”I grinned. “Well, now you have an excuse to practice,” I said.“Ah, I suppose. I don’t think the dragon is really into books or anything though.”I paused. My friends were in this because we had kinda promised to help, and I had dragged them into the mess. It was my fault, but I had the best of friends, and they were there for me. Booksie, on the other hand, was a friend, but not as close a friend, and she didn’t deserve to be dragged into a heap of trouble. There was still plenty of time for her to run back home. “If you want to leave, because it’s safer, I can give you the gold I have? It might help?”Booksie shook her head. “No! Please, dragons are very interesting, and the opportunity to talk to one shouldn’t be missed out.” She blinked. “Speaking of. Where did you learn how to speak dragon?”“Ah.”“Could you teach me, just a little?” There was a very worrisome fervor in her eyes. “There are some texts that have phonetic dragon writings in them. Just knowing what they’re about could increase their value by so much.”I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I’m kind of a Riftwalker.”Booksie was suddenly very close. “Truly?” she asked with the sort of tone someone used to tell a hated rival that they were in check. It was soft and husky and came out as a purr and I was scared.“Awa, the dragon doesn’t look very, um, patient,” Awen said.That snapped Booksie away. She ran her hands down the front of her sweater and coughed lightly to one side. “Yes well, I’m all for this plan, as long as it doesn’t prove too untenable.”“Right!” I spun on a heel and strolled over to Rhawrexdee. “Heya! We’re all set,” I said.“You are?” the dragon said. I nodded. “We’re all set right?” I asked my friends. “No, no we really aren’t.” Amaryllis said.“See, they agree,” I said to Rhawrexdee. “So, today we’ll be going, uh, over the essentials of dating?”Rhawrexdee snorted. “That hardly sounds practical.”Once my hair resettled from being blown about by his snort, I took a moment to think about things. “Well, that’s because we want to make sure you’re ready for, uh, this afternoon's practice. A big, practice, not-real-at-all date. Totally fake.”“You’re putting a suspicious amount of emphasis on the unreality of this date.”“That’s because if it’s a fake date, if you make a little blunder it’s okay. Um. This is Booksie, one of my friends. She speaks ancient Pyrowalkian, a little, and she’ll be your teammate. Awen and I will be going ahead to, um, calm people down. And Amaryllis will be your date.”Rhawrexdee perked up at that. “Truly?” he shifted to stare at Amaryllis who glared right back. “She doesn’t seem happy about it.”“That’s... uh. She’s going to be playing hard to get. So that way you’ll learn how to get... that.”“Hrmm, brilliant! And to think my sister said I should just eat you all and give up on the entire situation. Hah! Shows her!”I smiled. “I’m sure it’ll be lots of fun.”
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Chapter One Hundred and Twelve — Teach a Dragon To Fish...
Chapter One Hundred and Twelve — Teach a Dragon To Fish... “Hello mister mayor!” I said as I approached the round-tummied mayor. The man was standing next to a large gathering of guards and warriors and adventurer-looking folk, fiddling with his hat with one hand while squishing a kerchief with the other. The man looked at me. In fact, nearly all of them looked at me. “Miss Bunch?” he said. “Is it gone? Did you get the dragon to leave?” “Ah, well, not quite,” I said. I bounced to a stop before him, then rocked back and forth on my heels. “So, I’ve been talking to the dragon-”“You can talk dragon?” someone asked.“And we’ve come to something of a solution! It’s great. See, the dragon, uh...” I paused. Would the truth work with all of these people? Probably not, but I wasn’t a liar so... “My friends and I are teaching the dragon how to date girls.”The clanking of so much armour shifting about as the nervous guards burned off their jitters stopped. Now I was sure that all of them were looking at me.“M-miss Bunch, could you... explain?” the mayor asked.“I’m pretty sure it’s because, deep down, Rhawrexdee is a romantic. So, we made a bargain with him. We’ll teach him how to date and such, and he won’t, um, eat everyone, rain thunder and lightning down upon our heads, and then bathe in the afterglow of the burning town. Oh, and he won’t steal your gold either.”The mayor swallowed. “So, you will, ah, bring the dragon out of Rosenbell, and teach it there?” the mayor asked. There was a lot of hope in his eyes.I kinda felt bad about dashing it. “Not quite. See, to practice we need a realistic environment. And Rosenbell is quite nice.” I tried making my smile more reassuring.The mayor dabbed at his forehead. “You’re taking a dragon, onto a date, in my town?”“That’s the gist of it?” I said.“Are you quite mad, Miss Bunch?” The mayor asked with surprising calm.I shook my head. “Not even a little,” I said. “We, and by we I mean you, could always tell the dragon that his practice date is cancelled.”The mayor dabbed at his forehead some more. “What do you need from us?” he asked.“Just make sure all the shops and such are still open? And that people are very nice and polite. You know, normal things.”“But towards a dragon.”“Yes, exactly.”The mayor looked towards the guard that had the fanciest hat around. “I will see what I can do,” he offered.“Brilliant! I’m gonna go back and make sure that everyone is copacetic.” I flashed them a thumbs up, then bounced back towards the centre of town. When I arrived, it was to find Rhawrexdee nodding his big head along to something that Booksie was saying. “Yes, I think that would be for the best,” he said. His eyes snapped to the side and he focused on me as I approached. “You... the formerly human one. The other one, that is currently a human, has agreed to make me some clothes that I may look even more resplendent when I do begin dating for real.”I blinked, then looked over to Awen who was busy linking and unlinking her fingers. “Oh? That’s great!” I said. “And her name is Awen. And mine is Broccoli.”“Mmm, yes, but your names don’t matter, do they?” he asked.I felt my ears flopping to the side as I tilted my head in thought. “They kind of do. Would you go on a date with someone without even knowing her name?”“Would her name matter more than her virginity and princessness?” he wondered.I nodded. “Oh yeah. I think people care a lot more about their names than either of those. They might not be important to you, but they’re important to her.”Rhawrexdee let out a long, warm breath. “Yes, I suppose even the characters in the stories have names. But the names you little ones have are all so droll.”“I like my name,” I said. “I’m not dating you,” he said. “I know better than to date a riftwalker.” He turned towards Awen. “Tell this one to get to work. I expect my garments to be ready as soon as I am to depart.”“Ah, when are you planning on leaving, exactly?” Rhawrexdee shifted his massive wings in what I suspected was a shrug. “Whenever I deem myself ready. I’m a dragon, I leave if and when I want.”“Alrighty then,” I said. Turning to Awen, I cleared my throat to speak in a more normal tone. “So, he wants you to start making him a nice outfit for his dates. Can you do that?”“Awa, I think I can,” Awen said. “I might need his measurements though.” I judged whether or not we could stretch his patience that long. The tapping of claws as long as my forearm on the ground suggested no. “How about you go talk to the mayor, explain things, then find Yoland. I’m sure she can help.”“G-got it!” Awen said. She backed away from the dragon for a few steps, then took off in a sprint. “Can we start now?” Rhawrexdee asked.I nodded, then looked over to Amaryllis who was looking extra unimpressed, with her arms crossed and her nose in the air. “Let me introduce you to your date for the evening,” I said as I stepped closer. I gestured Amaryllis up and down. “Hailing from the Harpy Mountains, from the Albatross family, this is Amaryllis Albatross, third daughter of the clan, Thundere extraordinaire, and my best friend!” “Did you just introduce me?” Amaryllis asked. “I didn’t understand more than a word in ten, yet I still know you butchered it.”“Your turn,” I said to Rhawrexdee. “Tell me what you want me to say for you, I’ll act as one of your translators.”The dragon stood a little taller then he tipped back until he was standing on his hindlegs, his chest puffing out and his wings spread behind him. As far as displays went, it was pretty impressive to have an eighty foot span of leathery wings appear above you to hide the sun. “I am Rhawrexdee, son of Lawlyhoumad and Nhoyhou. He who smote the clouds themselves! The thunder hammer! The scourge of the northern desert!”A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.Lightning flashed across an otherwise clear sky and disappeared over the horizon. Rhawrexdee looked down. “How was that?” I clapped. “Very impressive,” I said. “But, I think your tone is a bit off.”Rhawrexdee tilted his head. “The tone?” he asked.I saw Booksie nod as she came to stand next to me. “Indeed, mighty Rawrexdee. Place yourself in the position of the princess. She’s ready for a date with a handsome dragon, and then she’s suddenly overwhelmed by all of his titles and the prestige of his name. It’s like walking into a room, proud of how good you look that day, only to have an entire crowd of even prettier people walk by. It can hurt a little.”“Ah, yes, I suppose unlike us dragons, princesses have fragile egos,” Rhawrexdee said with a firm nod. He raised a hand to stroke his spiky chin in thought. “Perhaps you are right, long-eared potential snack.”“Her name is Booksie,” I said.“That doesn’t sound like a very appealing name. Books are for reading, not eating.”I nodded. “Exactly. Don’t eat Booksie. Or any of my friends... or anyone else, please.” The dragon rolled his eyes at me. “Humanoids,” he muttered. “Now, can we begin this date?”“Of course!” I said. I stepped up between him and Amaryllis. “Now, you’ve been introduced, so it’s time for you to compliment the princess to make her feel nice.”The dragon hummed, it sounded like a semi-trailer shifting gears. “Very well,” he said before clearing his throat. “Oh, radiant beauty of this early dawn, your feathers glisten like morning dew and your eyes have the burning glow of yet-not-unleashed cruelty. I wish only to be the dragon upon which that fire burns, that I may bask in its glow and feel the warmth of a heart so pure that even the vessel around it is incandescent. You are the fever of my brow and the burning of my loins.”I blinked a few times, my cheeks growing a little warm. “Ah,” I said.“Are you not going to translate that?” Rhawrexdee asked.Booksie tilted her head. “Was that from the Flowers of the Blood Spring?” she asked.Rhawrexdee turned to face her fully. “You’ve read that?”“I have. It’s a classic.”The dragon huffed. “It’s alright. The actual story is dull and tripe.”“Yes, but the prose,” Booksie rebutted.Rhawrexdee hummed. “I’ll give you that much, the prose is quite well done. Especially the scenes where the lovers meet in secret.”“Those are the best parts,” Booksie agreed. “Did you read the author’s other works? Flora of Stained Winters and Plants in Muddy Summer?”“I’ve read Winters, but I could never find the last one. The copies are difficult to find.” The dragon’s eyes narrowed. “How did you find one?”Booksie looked down and away. “I owned a bookstore. I got to hoard quite a few classics over the years.”“A hoard of books? Impressive... what was your name again?”“Booksie. My friends call me Booksie.”Rhawrexdee showed his teeth in what I suspect was a smile. “Good. I’m glad you’re well-read, Booksie, you can better translate my prose for me.”“I’ll do my best.” Booksie bowed at the waist, then started to translate to a more and more horrified Amaryllis.While she did so, Rhawrexdee shifted to be closer to me. “I can see why you wanted to delay for some days. Obtaining such an expert was a good call. She seems far better suited to getting the meaning of my words across than you.”“Uh. Thanks. I think?” I waited for Booksie to be done and for the look of disgust to wear off Amaryllis’ face before I clapped my hands. “Okay, now the two of you can start the date with a little walk. Just along the shops, I think.”“And I will ramsack any store for the precious gems and gold that catches her eye,” Rhawrexdee said.“Ah. That, that depends on the girl, I think. Some women aren’t into... gems, and stuff.”The dragon was looking at me with pure doubt in his big eyes. “I mean, you should establish what the woman finds important while walking with her, right? Maybe she’s a gold and gems kind of girl, but maybe she’s more interested in other things. I like hanging out with my friends, Booksie here likes a good book. Not all girls are the same. In fact, they’re pretty much all different.”“How strange. My research led me to believe there were only four or five archetypes to deal with. Are you quite certain?”“Very,” I said. “That’s unfortunate. I had pegged Amaryllis as the feisty sort with a heart of gold. I will have to rethink my entire plan for wooing her.”Booksie tittered, which gained her the dragon’s attention. “I’m afraid that not everyone fits neatly into the same sort of categories as a character in a book. At least, the best characters also fail to fit into neat categories too, so maybe it’s not all bad.”“I suppose not,” Rhawrexdee said. “I will merely have to put my great intellect to work to find a solution as we date.”“If you don’t mind me asking, sir Rhawrexdee, how did you come to be so well-read?”The dragon looked a little contrite. “Ah, well, I have difficulty reading the tiny books you little people make, so I invented something I call an audio book.”“Oh? A sort of magic?” Booksie wondered. “Library magic always fascinated me!” “Likewise! But no. An audio book is when you find someone that can read and translate a book at the same time, usually a scholar, and then kidnap them so that they can read to you. I like listening to... mature and interesting books during long flights.”“Oh, that’s... clever.”“Isn’t it?” he said with obvious pride. “My sister, Cholondee, mocked me, but then she got herself hooked on all these alternate tales of historical figures written by fanatics. Disgusting filth I say!” He shook his head as if to clear it. “But that is all quite besides the point. Let’s start this thing, shall we?”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen — And Also a Dragon
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen — And Also a Dragon Rhawrexdee did an admirable job avoiding all the roofs and overhangs and buildings in the street as he stomped along next to Amaryllis. He only tore off the more intrusive clothes lines and such, but eight buildings out of ten were still mostly intact when he was done moving past.“So, princess Amaryllis,” Rhawrexdee said. I translated as soon as he paused, of course. I had the impression that our new dragon-y friend was actually a little nervous as he spoke. “How’s that virginity of yours keeping?”I choked. “You can’t ask that!” I said.“And why can I not? I am a dragon. I can ask what I want.”I huffed. “But that’s private.”“It’s hardly private at all. Anyone with a proper dragon’s nose could tell. It’s as clear as her princessness,” he said.I crossed my arms. “Well it’s still rude, and I think she’d zap you for asking. There are some subjects that should be eased into, or outright avoided, I think. Stuff like politics, and religion, and the economy and, and sex stuff.”Rhawrexdee looked at me. “That doesn’t sound right at all. The characters in my books talk about all sorts of things like that.”“Ah,” Booksie butted in. She was walking on his other side. “But how often do the relationships come to a head because of those things in those stories? Did you ever read the collected plays of Violet-Blue Morningsong?”“Of course I have,” Rhawrexdee said. “It would be difficult not to, they’re exceptionally popular.”Booksie nodded. “How many of those love stories end in tragedy because of politics or such?”“Hrm,” Rhawrexdee said. “I suppose you might have a point. Very well then. Perhaps I shall try instead to pick Amaryllis up by wooing her with other things. That is the point of this part of the date, yes?”“Yup. This is the walk around and chat part,” I confirmed. “Very well then. Ask the princess if she prefers a negative or positive charge with her magical attacks.”I didn’t see the point to the question, but I also didn’t know that much about magic, so I repeated what he said back to Amaryllis.“I don’t see why it would matter,” Amaryllis said with a growing frown. “I think most magic-made electrical discharges are negative by default. I never saw a reason to change any of that. It also helps turn the subject of a strike into a ground of sorts.”I translated that as quickly as I could. Rhawrexdee listened attentively, then showed his teeth in a weird sort of smile. “Tell her that I’m a positive dragon, then remind her that opposites attract.”I had a lot of questions, but I did as he asked only to see the confusion I felt mirror itself on Amaryllis' features. “Was that a pun?” she asked.“I think so,” I said. “Um. Mister Rhawrexdee, Amaryllis is wondering if that was a pun.”“Oh, it was only the beginning of them, yes. I have prepared a small hoard of them to properly woo the Thundere.”“Ah, I see,” I said.“Tell her that I have my ion her next,” he said. “Oh, and that I think she is electrifying.”“While Broccoli translates all that,” Booksie said. “Would you mind if I asked you about that... custom. Is it a dragon thing?”“Of course. It is how my father convinced my mother to be with him. She riddled him full of lightning from on high, and he told her that they had a spark. She admired his electrifying personality, and soon they formed a circuit. It was very romantic.”Booksie took a step closer to Rhawrexdee. “Interesting. We learn so little about dragon culture. I didn’t think that word play was so important to you.”“While some of us-like myself, of course-appreciate the literary arts, more barbaric dragons will do their own thing. It’s quite disappointing. I don’t think there have been many dragon authors in the past. A shame, I’m certain we’d be far better than most.”Booksie giggled and skipped a few steps. She seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself. “We should talk more on it later. Maybe I can write while you dictate a story?”“That...” Rhawrexdee looked the other way. “That sounds possible, yes.”“Brilliant, now I’ll leave you to your date, I wouldn’t want you to... book bad.” She grinned. “Did I do that correctly?”Rhawrexdee eyed Booksie for a long moment. “Yes, yes you did.” He cleared his throat. “Have we walked long enough for this segment of the date to be over with?” “I think so,” I said as I drew from my vast experiences hearing about other girls who did go on dates. “I think we can skip right over to the lunch part. There’s a cafe over there.” I pointed towards the end of the street.The little restaurant wasn’t quite a cafe. In fact, I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen coffee anywhere since I’d come over to Dirt, so it couldn’t be a proper coffee shop. It did have some pastries, and little sandwiches hidden behind a glass-fronted counter, and there were tables by the front with chairs all around them. There was a young man standing next to one of the tables, his eyes very wide and his hands frozen in the act of being wiped on the edge of his apron. He had to be one of the waiters, or maybe the owner.I skipped ahead of my friends and Rhawrexdee, whose friendship was still undetermined, and stopped before the waiter. “Hello! I’d like to make a reservation. Two tables. One with only one chair. We need to make a bit of room for our dragon friend.”“Th-the dragon?”“Yes,” I said before pointing to the dragon coming up behind me. “That one. Don’t worry, we’ll pay for any food we buy. Um. I don’t know if we can cover the dragon’s bill though.” The poor man looked so confused, so I tried to explain a little. “See, we’re on a sort of practice date.”Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.“All... four of you?” he asked.“Well, yeah,” I said. “But it’s okay because it’s not a real date.”“I’ll.” He paused to swallow. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said.Soon enough Booksie and I were moving one of the tables so that it was in the centre of the little room so that Rhawrexdee could stick his head in through the door (he hardly broke it at all!) and Amaryllis could sit, if a little stiffly, across from him.We, of course, took our own seats just a little ways away.I eyed the menu and decided on some tea. Nothing too filling since I’d had my breakfast just an hour or so back. “You, with the ears,” Rhawrexdee said. Booksie and I looked at each other. “The eloquent one, with the books,” the dragon added. “Yes?” Booksie asked. “Assist me in telling Princess Amaryllis that I look forward to her carving into whatever unsuspecting beast they place before her here.”I felt my blood go cold. “Um. Rhawrexdee, do you know what a cafe is?” “Of course I do!” he said. I heard plates and such clattering to the floor in the kitchen and suspected that Rhawrexdee had just given someone quite the fright. “They are a very romantic place in many stories.” He looked around. “Is this one of those? I expected it to smell less like mud and more like meat and other proper foods.”I glanced to Booksie who shrugged. “Well,” I said. “This is a bistro of sorts, just like in your stories.”“Fascinating,” he said. “I suppose we must hold hands across this little table and share stories of our childhoods?”Booksie grinned. “That sounds like something out of a DeClancy story.”Rhawexdee recoiled, then flinched when his head banged into the ceiling. Fortunately, his head was harder than the wood above and his horns passed clean through with just a bit of crunching. I really hoped that the floor above wasn’t the shopkeeper’s house. “I would never read such filth,” he said.“Oh? I enjoyed them. Though the way the second novel ended...”Rhawrexdee shook his head. “How could the protagonist forgo a harem in favour of marrying his childhood best friend? It’s unnatural.”“But the other girls in the harem had no chemistry,” Booksie said.“I thought they were enjoyable,” Rhawrexdee said.“I thought you didn’t read such filth?” I wondered.“Oh, no one reads those books,” Booksie said. “They were best-sellers that no one with an ounce of dignity would admit to reading. Especially the fifth book in the series.”“There’s a fifth book?” Rhawrexdee asked. “Truly?”“Oh yes. I think I saw a copy at the local book store.”“That is where we will go next,” he declared. “Certainly,” Booksie said. “Out of curiosity, what were your favourite novels as a child?” Rhawrexdee hummed. “I suppose the Tales of Knight Princess Dragonia.”“Really?” Booksie asked.“Do not judge me, I am a dragon, I am above your petty judgements,” Rhawrexdee said.Booksie waved her hands in the air in denial. “No no, I wasn’t judging. It’s just that I had the entire set as a little bun. I loved them! I wanted to be just like the princess’s librarian squire when I grew up.”“Really? I enjoyed that character. Though it is the main character that inspired my early love for princesses. As is only proper in a young dragon.”“Of course.”I looked over to Amaryllis. I think we knew each other well enough to communicate just how weird we felt, even without words. Booksie was enjoying herself though, smiling ear to ear as she talked to a very attentive Rhawrexdee about the difference in each edition of their favourite book series.“Fascinating. I will have to raid a capital one day to obtain a new set of the books.”Booksie shook her head. “Nonsense. I... ah, I had a copy of the earlier edition in my store. I suppose it was left behind when I came here.”Their conversation was cut short when the trembling waiter came to take our orders. I had to repeat mine a few times since he was more focused on the dragon tearing a wider and wider hole in the entrance to pay attention. Amaryllis ordered some pastry and Rhawrexdee ordered meat. All of the store’s meat.“So, do you have any suggestions for reading material?” Rhawrexdee asked.“I owned a bookstore, recommending books was my job,” Booksie said.“Hrm. Perhaps it is you I should kidnap, not the princess.”Booksie grinned. “I doubt I’m worth the effort, but thank you. As for recommendations, that would depend entirely on what sort of reading material you’re looking for. I think you have a penchant for more classical romance.”“I suppose, though I wouldn’t mind branching out a little,” the dragon said casually. “Oh, there are a lot of other genres with romance in them, they just don’t feature it as prominently. Ah, I wish I still had my store, I had so many books you would enjoy.”“Perhaps when my date is over we can visit your shop.” Booksie’s smile grew a little fixed, and she looked down and away. “Maybe,” she said.I reached out and patted her hand. “We’ll get your shop back,” I said. Rhawrexdee’s eyes narrowed. “What happened to her hoard?” he asked.“Ah, it’s nothing to concern yourself over, mister dragon,” Booksie said.“Well, if you say so, I suppose,” he said.The waiter chose that moment to walk into the room, carrying a large platter covered in still-smoking meat that he eased onto Rhawrexdee’s end of the table before scurrying off. There had to be enough meat there to feed a family of four for a month. “The books were right, the portions in places like these are awful,” Rhawrexdee said.
Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen — Third Wheeling
Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen — Third Wheeling I had never been a third wheel before, so as I followed behind the two ahead of me while they talked and laughed, I got to experience something entirely new.At least I wasn’t alone. “Why do I feel slighted?” Amaryllis asked. “I shouldn’t. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t even like dragons, or men who are that pushy.”I rubbed her back. “It’s okay?” I said. “I don’t think you would have made a nice couple anyway.”“Of course not,” Amaryllis said. “As if I’d actually go out with an overgrown lizard.”Said overgrown lizard rocked his head back and roared with laughter while, next to him, Booksie placed a hand before her mouth and giggled. Amaryllis glared ahead, her wings tightening across her chest. “It doesn’t make sense. What does she see in him?”I shrugged a shoulder. “They both like books and, ah, one sec.” I twitched my big bun ears forwards to better hear what Booksie was saying to Rhawrexdee.“Oh, that reminds me of my own mother. I love her, I really do, but she can be just so...” She waved her hands in the air in a gesture that could mean anything. “She’s one of the reasons I moved to an entirely different country. She kept asking me, ‘Booksie, you’re twenty-five, when will you find a nice boy? When will you bring home a basket full of grandkids for me to play with?’ It’s frustrating. I want more in life than just being a mother, I have goals!”Rhawrexdee was nodding along. “I understand. Ever since my father flew off after some Eastern dragon my mother has been so doting over my sister and me. She keeps telling me how to act, and to go find a nice dragon to spend some time with. She even confiscated my audio books! I worked hard kidnapping all those scholars! She said that I needed a proper harem, not a collection of old men with bad eyesight. Bah!” “Urgh,” Booksie said. “I know what you mean. And I’m sorry to hear that about your dad. Mine passed away when I was young and, well, it’s not the same, but... still.” She reached out, almost carefully, and patted Rhawrexdee on the side.I rubbed at my chin. “Yeah, they’re talking about their moms. This is getting weird.”Amaryllis huffed. “As long as she takes care of our dragon problem for us I don’t care.”“I guess,” I said. I felt a big smile coming on, and allowed it to bloom. “But really, this is great! I’ve never seen two people actually fall in love before.”“I don’t know if I’d call that love,” Amaryllis said.I pointed ahead to where the couple stopped before a large puddle in the middle of the road. Booksie seemed ready to walk around when Rhawrexdee paused her with a raised claw, reached up, and tore an awning off the side of a house and placed the cloth across the puddle. He waved her forward.“That doesn’t mean anything, Broccoli.”At the next intersection, Rhawrexdee uprooted an entire rosebush, sniffed it, then carefully pressed it up against Booksie who laughed with delight.“It could be... I really hope it’s not love,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, come on, don’t you have a bit of romance in you?” I asked. “No,” she said.“Not even a little? I always dreamed of meeting this cute boy who’d sweep me off my feet, and give me flowers, and get along with all of my friends.” She rolled her eyes. “I think we’ve established that your dreams are incredibly pedestrian already. What was it you wanted... a little home and two kids?” “I think I might call my firstborn daughter Amaryllis,” I said.Amaryllis blushed to the stems of her hair-feathers. “I-idiot!” “What?” I said.“Nevermind that,” she shot right back before picking up the pace. I jogged to catch up. “Did I say something stupid without knowing it again?” “You do that every time you open your mouth,” she grumbled. “Rude!” I called out with a laugh.“What?!” Rhawrexdee roared.The dragon spun around, tail swiping into a building with a heavy crunch. He stomped closer, completely ignoring the sparking electricity that appeared around amaryllis, and lowered his head until he was even with me. “Did you know?” he asked.“Um, did I know what?” I asked.Rhawrexdee pointed back to a wide-eyed Booksie. “That this... poor young woman’s hoard was taken by, by filthy scavengers?”“Ah, yeah,” I said. “We did know. We’re gonna help her take it back though.”“You are?” he asked. “And how do you intend to do that?”“Well, ah, once we were done with your dating practice, I was thinking we might walk over to Port Royal and then talk to the authorities, see what we can do?”“Walk? At the speed you little ones move? That would take... hours!”I shrugged. “We could fly there, I guess. But I haven’t looked to see when the next ship will be heading over or how much it would cost.”Rhawrexdee shifted, looking rather awkward all of a sudden. He leaned way forwards until his head almost butted up against me. “She doesn’t speak proper dragon, right?” he asked.“She doesn’t,” I confirmed. “Just Pyrowalkian and, uh, whatever the other language most people speak is.”“Good, good, so she can’t understand us.” He leaned in even closer. “Tell me, does she have a husband?”“No? Not that I know of,” I said.“And no male rivals pinning after her?” he asked.“No?” He nodded slowly. “Interesting. I’m merely curious, of course. It’s a scholarly interest, I assure you.”“Sure it is!” I said. “If it helps any, I think that she liked spending time with you today. I’m sure if you asked her out on another, ah, practice date, she would say yes.”He narrowed his eyes. “Maybe I will. And her hoard. All of those books that were taken from her. If I retrieve them like a gallant knight, do you think...”Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!“I think that Booksie is the kind of girl that would appreciate some help, but-and I’m saying this having only known her for a little bit-I don’t think she’s the sort to expect others to do all the work for her.”He nodded. “How very dragon-like of her. Yes, I’ve decided. I’m going to make Booksie my official dating advice counsellor in exchange for my assistance in destroying the city that robbed her.”“Ah,” I said. “Wait, back up there. I think that maybe just helping would be better.”“Wouldn’t that help?”“Uh,” I said as I tried to think faster. “Her hoard is in that city though. If you burn it all down she’ll lose it. And her customers. And what if she wants to live there again and gets hungry. She’s a bun, she can’t just pick up some passing sheep for a snack.”He hummed, deep and rumbly. “Perhaps. But then I would only be able to see her when I’m in that city.”“I mean, the rent can’t be that bad. I’m sure you could afford a nice warehouse or something near the docks.”“And then I’d be able to see her every day,” he said.I felt a grin tugging up my cheeks. “You’re really smitten.”“I am not!” he said.I nodded. “You are!” I said before clapping. “Oh, I really hope it works out between you two.”“We’re going to take things slow,” he said.“Of course,” I said. “So, ah, if we want to make it to Port Royal quickly, we’ll either need to charter a ship for there today, or find some other way to fly all the way over.”“I won’t allow a bunch of little people like you to ride on my back,” he said.I pouted. “Aww, but we hardly weigh anything at all, and, uh, think of how romantic it’ll be to ride into the sky with your special someone sitting on your head.”Rhawrexdee seemed to consider that for a moment. “That might be true, but then why would I let the likes of you come along?”“Well, you wouldn’t want it to be too romantic. So if you bring us along it turns it from a special moment shared between just the two of you, into one shared by a bigger group. Still magical, but a little less heavy-handed,” I said. I had never made up so much crud in my entire life, but there was dragon riding on the line!“Hrm,” he said. “There is only one problem then.”“What’s that?”“Port Royal is the territory of another dragon, which would mean flying through their land.”I winced. “Would you need to fight?” I asked. I could feel my plans and dreams sinking.“Worse. That dragon is my mother.”I blinked. “Is that bad?”“She’s nagging and won’t stop pestering me, I just know it.”“There, there,” I said as I patted him on the snout.Rhawrexdee blew me back with a snort. “Don’t patronize me, little bun. I will tell Booksie about my plans to assist her through her plight. If you intend to come with us then you have a few moments to gather your things.”“Right!” I said.Turning on a heel, I rushed over to Amaryllis and grabbed onto her talons. “Why are you smiling like that?” she asked. “What’s going horribly wrong now?”“Nothing!” I cheered as I tugged her along. “We’re going to Port Royal.”“What? When?” “As soon as we pick up Awen and Orange and our stuff,” I said.“And how are we getting there?” she asked.I looked over my shoulder and grinned.“No,” she said.“I didn’t say how yet,” I said.“That’s because I’m not an idiot. I am not riding on that creature. There’s no way.”“Think of what it’ll do to your reputation though. You rode a dragon! That’ll be the kind of thing you should tell your kids and grandkids about.” I waved in the air to encompass the enormity of it. “It’s every kid’s dream, at least where I’m from.”“I’m not a child,” Amaryllis said. There was a tiny hint of reluctance there, and I pounced on it.“It’s not just kids. I bet all the adults will be jealous too.”“Envious, you moron, and I still don’t like it.”I grinned. “You could take notes. I bet there aren’t that many scientists that can write about dragon flight. Rhawrexdee is way too big for his wings to actually lift him, so there has to be magic involved.”Now I had her, I could tell by the near predatory glint in her eye. “If we could harness that, we could outstrip the Sylph’s abilities in no time at all.” She started walking just a little faster. “We’ll get Awen first. And stop giving me that look. I came to this decision on my own.”“You did,” I said.“Don’t agree with me with that tone!” I snorted and skipped ahead of her. Navigating the town was tricky, especially with so few people around. It seemed as if everyone was hiding, or maybe they had evacuated while there was a dragon around. All in all, it was probably a good idea. We found Awen and Yoland both standing outside of the old tailor’s shop. “Awa, it’s you!” Awen said. “We made a vest for the dragon, and a, ah, hat.” She lifted a nice top hat before her, one big enough that she could have fit into it with a bit of contorting around. “And a tie, too.”“That’s great!” I said.“You girls do bring me interesting projects,” Yoland said.“That might be the last one, I’m afraid. We’re heading out in a bit. We came to fetch you, Awen!”“Awa? Where are we going?” Awen asked. “Should I...” she gestured to the vest and a big pile of cloth that I guessed was the aforementioned tie. “Bring it all,” I said. ‘We’re flying over to Port Royal! That is, if you want to come.”“Of course! We’re taking a ship?” “Nope!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen — Dragon Rider of Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen — Dragon Rider of Bun I was so excited I was trembling. I knew this because Orange, who I was cuddling close to my chest, was staring up at me as if I was a mouse poking at the wrong kitty. Not that she was that much of a kitty anymore. At some point Orange had grown into a juvenile tabby cat, her fur growing longer and her body getting bigger. Maybe spirit kittens grew faster than normal kittens? That was a shame; kittens were cutest when they were small.We gathered just on the outskirts of the town, the mayor, a few guards, old Yoland and a bunch of onlookers. Most of them stayed well away from us as we waited with eyes towards the skies.“Stop wiggling so much, people will think you’re bizarre, and it will taint me by association,” Amaryllis said. “But we’re going to ride a dragon!” I said.Awen giggled next to me, it sounded halfway between excited and nervous, which was exactly the right thing to be feeling about the prospect of riding a real-deal dragon.“Moron,” Amaryllis said. “Can’t you at least pretend that you have some decorum in you?”“No!” I said. “Oh, I’m going to go say bye to the mayor.”With that said, I skipped over to the gathering of people by the gate. I saw kids pointing and more than one person shied away as I approached, as if I was dangerous or something. Maybe I should have been more careful with my reputation, I didn’t want it to get between me and my ability to make friends. “Hello,” I said.“Ah, Miss Bunch,” the mayor said as he squished his hat. “You’re, ah, heading out now, yes?” “Yup, we’re just waiting for Rhawrexdee to arrive. I hope he didn’t break too many things?” “A few, but, well, we had something of an emergency meeting of the town council, and we decided that we would all pitch in to repair the damages.”I sighed with relief. “Good. I’d hate it if our visit left a bad image.”“No, no of course not,” he said in a hurry. “Nothing of the sort.”“Neat! So, um, we’ll be heading out now.”“On foot?” he asked. “I could hire a coach.”I blinked. “No? I thought you were all gathered here to see the dragon.”“That dragon is returning?!” the mayor squeaked. Some of the guards nearby tensed and I heard a murmur spreading through the crowd.“Yeah. Why else would you all be here?”Yoland cackled. “They’re here to see you off. The daft morons decided that you’re the source of all their troubles. Can’t see the obvious when it’s right in front of them.”“But we only tried to help,” I said. I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. As soon as Rhawrexdee lands we’re taking off.”“You're going to ride the dragon?” Yoland asked. “My, if I was a few decades more spry... bah. Good luck lass. I’d say be safe, but that seems unlikely with the life you lead.”I lifted my arms for a parting hug, which Yoland returned with a cackle. Then I hugged the rotund mayor too, for good measure.My goodbyes were cut off with the fwomp of huge wings beating against the air. “Gotta go!” I said before bouncing back to my friends. “Hello Rhawrexdee!” The dragon landed with a ground-shaking crash onto his rear legs. A squeak escaped from his arms. He uncupped his huge hands to reveal a dishevelled but grinning Booksie. She laughed and stood up onto Rhawrexdee’s hand, then hopped the dozen feet to the ground, landing with bent knees and a burst of stamina. “That was brilliant, Rhawrexdee,” Booksie said.“It was merely a small flight,” the dragon said. He did sound a little bashful about it.“Did you have fun?” I asked Booksie while she fixed her clothes on straight. “Oh, yes! Flying with Rhawexdee is, well, it’s nothing at all like being aboard an airship,” she said. There was a shine in her eyes that I think my own were reflecting as she reached up and fixed her ears on straight. “I can’t wait!” I said.The dragon huffed and looked down at our little group. He was wearing Awen’s vest and ascot and his new tophat which had somehow stayed affixed to the top of his head despite the flight. “I won’t be able to carry all of you in my arms,” he said.“I can ride on your back!” I volunteered.“We’re not stopping to search for your body when you inevitably fly off his back,” Amaryllis said. “I’ll hang on tight, I promise!” I said.Rhawrexdee shrugged. “If you die It’s no scales off my back,” he said. “One less humanoid that I need to care for mid-flight.”“Alright!” I said. I took off my backpack and gave it to Awen. “Can you watch over this? I think the drag might be dangerous. Oh, and Orange too.” Awen nodded, and after a moment spent coaxing Orange into my backpack, she hugged it close. “Awa, please be careful,” she said.I gave her a thumbs-up, then skipped over to Rhawrexdee, bunched my legs under me, and hopped up and onto his back.He didn’t so much as twitch at my weight landing on him. Unlike the dragons in my books, there wasn’t a nice spot to sit on along his back. Rhawrexdee’s neck was all overlapping scales that stuck out with little points at their tips and his spine had foot-long spikes sticking out of it from his upper back all the way down to his tail. His new vest had cleverly crafted holes in the back to make room for all the pokey bits. I walked around his back a bit, careful not to hurt him, but he didn’t even seem to notice that I was there at all. Being a dragon must have been awesome! I wish I had a Cinnamon Bun Dragon class instead of just Cinnamon Bun Bun. I found a nice spot to lay down flat on my tummy just between his wings where there were fewer spikes and where I could hug one of the spines before me and wrap a leg around another. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.“Hang on,” Rhawrexdee said.His wings unfurled, huge leathery things that looked even bigger from how close I was to them. Then he beat down and the world filled with rushing wind. One beat followed the other and I tightened my grip on his back as hard as I could while also holding back the urge to whoop and giggle. We took to the air, Rhawrexdee’s entire back bending around as he spun and dove across Rosenbell, the town shooting past below a moment before giving way to the perilous drop into the yellow-brown desert. Rhawrexdee raced forwards, gaining so much speed that my friend’s screams-part joy and part panic-barely registered over the roar of the wind. I felt the dragon chuckle though my chest as I pressed myself down lower. His wings beat again and again, the world faded below, faster than any airship I had ever been on. My grin was frozen in place as Rhawrexdee began to coast along, wings catching onto unseen thermals tossing us up and down through the air.I had no idea how fast we were going, but it certainly felt a lot faster than any ship I’d ridden on. The Shady Lady had been a quick little ship, but compared to a dragon she was a real slowpoke. It was no wonder that the skies belonged to them.I saw Rhawrexdee turn his head to look off to the side, and with a bit of a stretch I was able to see what he was looking at. A whole flock of flying whales was wiggling through the sky as quick as they could, like fish that had spotted a predator. I hoped that he wasn’t feeling peckish while we were with him or else things would get interesting. After a bit, I felt comfortable enough to climb onto my knees-with one hand still firmly gripped onto a spike-to look around a little. The Harpy mountains to the East were approaching fast, and the desert behind us was fading away into little more than a brown line over the horizon. Dragons could really move when they wanted to! I laid back down, just in case, and hugged Rhawrexdee’s back close. Time passed in a bit of a blur, the air grew a little cool for a bit, but Rhawrexdee soon dipped down beneath the clouds and into warmer air. The distant mountains became not-so-distant, and then they were outright close. And then, quite suddenly, I heard something that was rather unnerving. “Oh no,” Rhawrexdee said.My heart skipped a beat. Had one of my friends fallen? That would be... But no, Rhawrexdee didn’t seem that irresponsible. The dragon tilted his wings down, and with the next beat, I could see Port Royal approaching fast ahead. For a moment I thought that he was disappointed that we had arrived already, then I caught a glimpse of something green in the skies high above.I had barely craned my neck back to see the tiny fleck in the sky that it came rocketting down and blew past with a hurricane-like gust of air.I screamed as I scrambled to hang onto Rhawrexdee’s back and just barely managed to hang onto a scale as Rhawrexdee began to swoop down himself. I caught one of the spines with the back of my foot and grabbed onto another for dear life as the dragons began to spin around each other.“Rhawrexdee!” the green dragon roared. I caught a glimpse of it as we spun again. It was massive, easily twice as long as Rhawrexdee was and it had a lot more going on in the gut area than the lean blue dragon I was hanging onto.“Hi mom,” Rhawrexdee said with a draconic sigh. “Can we talk on land? I don’t want to drop these.”“And what are those?” The green dragon asked. An eye the size of my arm span tilted around and then the dragon made a pleased sound. “Oh, sweetie, you found a princess! Come now, let’s land so you can show your mommy.”The green dragon wiggled her tail and a huge flap expanded out of her back, beginning at the nape of her neck and ending at the very end of her tail like a strange leathery sail.Rhawrexdee grumbled something that I was pretty sure was rude, then flapped forwards a few times, his flight a lot smoother. The green dragon, the green mommy dragon, led us towards Port Royal, then past the port part of the city and up towards the seven massive towers at the back. She tucked her wings in close and aimed for a plateau a little ways up the mountain where a waterfall covered a hole into the side of the mount.I ‘eeped’ and hung on tighter as we splashed through the curtain of water.Everything shook as Rhawrexdee landed on his hindlegs. “There, none of you died,” the dragon said. Then he paused and twisted his head around to look over his shoulder. I waved. “Forgot about you back there,” he said.“Rhawrexdee!” the green dragon said. “I’ll not have you killing a two leg by accident, not when we haven’t decided if they’re guests yet.”Grinning, I hopped off of Rhawrexdee’s back and landed on the stony ground. The cave we were in was huge, with pillars holding up a smoothed rocky ceiling with magical rune lights embedded into it. A large carpet, marred by a few scratches, lined the edges of the entrance. Deeper in, I could make out a few tunnels that presumably dug into the core of the mountain, or maybe went to other rooms. “Introduce your little friends, sweetie.”Turning, I gazed up at the biggest dragon I had ever seen. She had a face like some sort of prehistoric nightmare, all jagged teeth and sharpened scales. Her claws were longer than I was tall and she had to stoop a little, even in the huge cavern. She was, in a word, beautiful.“Hi! I’m Broccoli Bunch,” I roared. “Let’s be friends!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen — Momma
Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen — Momma Lawlyhoumad Desired Quality: Someone who is nice to her children and who shows her all due respect.Dream: To see her babies grow up big and strong and to one day grow large enough to eat the world. I coughed into a closed fist, then, while grabbing the edges of my skirt, dipped into a curtsy before the majestic green mommy dragon before me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, your, uh, dragonnessness,” I said.If Miss Lawlyoumad wanted to be respected then it was the least I could do. I was in her home, after all. Also, she was a very large dragon. “Oh, aren’t they just so precious,” Lawlyhoumad said, I peeked to the side and saw my friends dipping in their own curtseys and bows, with Amaryllis’ being particularly ornate as she fluffed out her feathers in a big fan. “Oh I’m so proud of you Rhawrexdee, your first princess. And she’s a virgin! The retinue is nice, I suppose. One of the trade offs of caring for a princess of course.” The dragoness tittered, a sound like boulders merrily rolling down a hill. “Oh, I have just the room to lock them all up in!” I looked up like a rabbit that heard a hawk’s cry. “What?” I asked. Lawlyhoumad turned her gaze onto me, then her eyes focused properly and her head pulled back. “A Riftwalker!” She turned to her son. “Sweetie, what did I say about bringing that sort home?”“Not to?” the large blue dragon said. He sounded like he was half his original size. Not that that wasn’t still big. “But mom, you’re the one that made me come here.”“Hmpf, talking back to your mom like that. And in front of guests no less.” She shook her head before refocusing on me. “What do you want, little Riftwalker?”I shifted in place. I hadn’t expected to be put on the spot like that. “Uh. Just to be with my friends, I guess. And to make more friends, of course!” She eyed me suspiciously for a while, then leaned in close. That is, her head stopped a dozen paces ahead of me, but I still had to crane my neck to meet her eyes. “You’d better not be here to cause trouble for me and mine, understood?” “Yes ma’am!” I said. “I promise! We just got together with Rhawrexdee ‘cause he needed a bit of help, and I thought he could use some friends!” Also, I didn’t want him eating a town, but that was besides the point.Lawlyhoumad turned to her son. “Oh, sweetie, what sort of trouble did you get yourself into that you needed the help of these little ones?”Rhawrexdee pouted. It wasn’t a nice look on a dragon, their cheeks were too flappy and their lips a bit too thin, so his pout ended up looking like a dog smiling. Still, it got the message across. “We came to an understanding, that’s all.”“What sort of understanding?” Lawlyhoumad asked. She laid down, one forelimb crossing over the other. Rhawrexdee patted the ground. “Well, you know how I always wanted more than just a normal harem of slave princesses?”The mother dragon rolled her eyes. “Yes yes, one of those ideas that got in your head from those silly books.”“They’re not silly. And besides, it’s completely possible. I found this Riftwalker, and this princess, and Booksie here. And... the other one who made my hat and vest.”“I do like the vest. It’s quite fetching. You look very handsome in it, just like that cheating pile of filth father of yours did when we first met.”Rhawrexdee nodded as if the last part of that hadn’t been said. “Thank you. I think I like the idea of wearing some clothes to accentuate my features. But that’s besides the point. I found this lot and got them to agree to teach me the art of wooing princesses.”“Mmm.” Lawlyhoumad said. “And which one is Booksie?” she asked with a purr.Rhawrexdee tensed. “She’s just one of the ones with the ears,” he said. “She’s not important.”“Oh, sweet child of mine, I’m a mother, not some ignorant golem. You can’t hide these sorts of things from me.”“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rhawrexdee said. I winced. Going on the defensive like that was as good as admitting guilt. I started moving towards my friends and our stuff, just in case things turned for the worse. “It’s not the Riftwalker, is it? The last time a dragon and one of those fell for each other we ended up with half-dragons, and I don’t think we need that kind of fiasco, not in my family.”“No mother, it’s not the Riftwalker... or any of the others.”“So you won’t mind me nibbling at them a little?” Lawlyhoumad started to reach a claw in our direction. My eyes went wide as I saw it coming. Not only was it huge, it was fast, far faster than something of that size had any right to be.“No!” Rhawrexdee barked.His mom stopped mid-reach, then pulled her claws back. The self-satisfied grin she wore said volumes.“Oh, fine! But it was only the one date. And a bit of a flight. Nothing more.”“Oh, my poor little boy.” The dragoness hopped to her feet and I had to scramble to stay on mine as the floor trembled. Then she lumbered over to her son and crashed into him neck first before she started rubbing her head against the back of his. “You poor little thing,” she said over the screech of the spikes on the back of his head doing a lot of nothing to the scales over her neck. “Moooom,” Rhawrexdee whined. “I’m a hundred years old, not ten. This is embarrassing.”“You might be a hundred, but you’re still my baby boy, and I don’t want to see your heart broken. What will happen when the bun dies? These little ones only live half a century or so before they go ripe and stop tasting as fresh.”Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.“We’ll figure it out,” Rhawrexdee said. “I can give her half-killed meals for her to level up with, and, and we only went on the one date, it doesn’t mean anything.”“Did you promise to go on some quest in order to win her over?” she asked. Rhawrexdee’s long quiet had the mother dragon sighing. “I just agreed to help her regain her hoard. She collects books! She had an entire hoard, right down in Port Royal.”“Well, at least you’d only be a glide away from your dear mommy,” Lawlyhoumad muttered.“Mom,” Rhawrexdee said. “Oh, come now, this isn’t so bad is it? Little ones like that girl of yours love it when big strong men show off their feminine side.”“Mom!” I giggled, then noticed the tension escaping from my friends. I’d sorta forgotten that they couldn’t make out the conversation above. Even Booksie looked a bit frightened, so the dragons probably weren’t talking in that ancient language and were talking in pure dragon. “I think we’re going to be okay,” I said. “Lawlyhoumad seems like a very nice lady.”“Oh, I am,” the dragoness said.“Awa, she speaks common,” Awen said. “Um, hello, lady Lawlyhoumad,” Awen said with a curtsy. “I’m Awen Bristlecone. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”“Any relation to that rat bastard, no good, filthy pile of filth Abraham Bristlecone?” Lawlyhoumad asked. Her voice had wavered between kindly and downright wrathful.“Awa... no?” Awen said.“Good. In that case you’re welcome in my home little one. My daughter might try to kidnap you if you make such nice clothes. A Wyrmgineer... hrm.”“Awa, I’d rather not be kidnapped by her. I’m, um, being kidnapped already.” “I’m sure,” Lawlyhoumad said. “And who are you others?” Amaryllis bowed. “I’m Amaryllis Albatross, of the clan Albatross, lady dragon,” she said.“Ohh, the family that makes those delicious ships?”Amaryllis twitched. “That’s us,” she said. “Adorable! And what about you, the one with the cute ears?”“I’m Booksie, lady dragon,” Booksie said. “I’m just a simple book store owner from Port Royal. Or, I used to be.”“So humble. Ohh, and you share a hobby with my little Rawr-i-kins. I can just imagine you reading him to sleep.”Booksie flushed and looked away. “I’m not sure about, um, that, lady dragon. We’re just friends.”“Yes I’m sure,” Lawlyhoumad dismissed. She turned to me. “And you’re Broccoli Bunch, the Riftwalker.”“I’m more than just that, I think,” I said. “I’d much rather be Broccoli Bunch the friend!” The dragoness huffed. “We’ll see. Now. What’s this about Port Royal? Someone stole from my little Rhawr’s girl?”I snuck a peek at Rhawrexdee, but he was looking on in interest without reacting, it was obvious that he was missing out on this part of the conversation. Meanwhile, Booksie was blushing up to the tips of her long ears, though she seemed to be composed otherwise. “I might have been robbed, I suppose that’s one way of putting it, lady dragon,” Booksie said. “My shop, where I sold my books from, was taken from me by some thugs. I was about to give up on ever winning it back when Broccoli and her friends showed up and agreed to help me, then we met your son and, ah.”“And the rest is history. Yes, that does sound like Rhawr to play the part of the knight.” She shook her head. “Well, there’s no helping it. We’ll see about finding a nice place for you girls for the night, then we’ll rain terror and fire down upon Port Royal until those thugs show up to apologize or everyone is dead.”“Ah,” I said. “Um. I was thinking, if your dragoness doesn’t mind, that maybe we could use a more... focused strike? Maybe... talk to the bad guys before burning everything?”“That doesn’t sound nearly as amusing. And besides, the nobles have been belligerent lately. The daily tribute of sheep has been lacklustre of late. You know, sheep are important for keeping your teeth nice and shiny.”I frowned up at the dragon. “But what about all the nice, innocent people?” I asked.She moved her wing joints up and down. “What of them? I’m sure we can nibble on a few as they run out of the fire.”That... that was not cool. “Dragons aren’t supposed to be like that,” I said. She blinked. “Pardon me, little Riftwalker, but I think I would be a little better at determining what a dragon is and isn’t like than you.”I shook my head. “Not if you’re going around hurting people that don’t deserve it. Dragons are supposed to be the coolest, most beautiful creatures ever, all magic and might and power. You’re supposed to be loyal friends and great protectors, the people everyone smaller than you look up to for wise guidance and protection. But burning down people just because it makes your job easier, that’s just lazy.”“You walk a fine line, calling me lazy in my own home,” she warned.I frowned right back. “I’m not the sort of person that can stand by and let injustice happen,” I said. “Even if that means being a little rude to a huge dragon in her own home.”Lawlyhoumad stared, then she let out a long, rumbling laugh. “Oh, I had forgotten how annoying Riftwalkers are. Fine, I suppose we could do things the dull way. Eating the thugs should be enough to remind the little frogs who’s boss. And besides, I like the idea of being seen as a glorious guardian queen.”I suspected that she might have misunderstood something along the way, but if it made it easier to convince her not to eat people, then I was all for it.“Now, come along. It’s time for food and you really ought to meet my daughter. She’s far too much of a recluse.”
Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen — Failing The Bechdel Test, but With Dragons
Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen — Failing The Bechdel Test, but With Dragons“And these will be your rooms for the night. They’re our princess rooms,” Lawlyhoumad said as she gestured at a hole in the wall. The inside of the dragon’s cave was surprisingly spacious. Or maybe that wasn’t too surprising, seeing as how the occupant was longer than a pair of city buses parked end to end and a bit wide at the hips. “We’re not all princesses though, is it alright anyway?” I asked as I skipped ahead towards the entrance.Lawlyhoumad scoffed, making the ball of fire floating next to her for light flicker a bit. “We don’t have guest rooms, and you can’t sleep on my hoard or I’d have to eat you, Riftwalker or no. It’s tradition, you see.”“Right, right,” I agreed. The princess room was a large cavern. Well, large for me, Lawlyhoumad would have a hard time squeezing into the door and I don’t think three of her could have fit in the room at once. Curtains covered the bare stone walls and runes glowed from the ceiling, casting soft light across a sea of pillows. There were a lot of pillows. Small ones, barely bigger than two fists together, and some as long as I was tall. All in soft, pastel colours with lacy edges and floofy middles. There was a pile of them in the centre of the room, like a hill of softness just waiting for someone to bury themselves into it. There was more furniture off to the side. Dressers and make-up tables, but really, those were secondary to all the pillows. “That’s a lot of pillows,” I said.“Hmm? Oh yes, princesses like those,” Lawlyhoumad said with the certainty of someone who thought themselves an expert. “The more the better.”“Uh-huh,” I agreed. Pillows were kind of fun, I guessed. “There are some clothes and such in those dressers. No food for your sort, I’m afraid.”“We’ll make do,” I said. “Thanks for your hospitality, miss Lawlyhoumad,” I said.The dragon tittered. “It was nothing. Now remember, touch my hoard and I’ll make your death long and painful. Do sleep tight!” With that, the dragoness dismissed us and waddled deeper into her home, feet stomping along as she walked off. I spun towards my friends. Booksie looked a little nervous, Awen was... also nervous, but that was normal, and Amaryllis was frowning off to the side.“Why do you all look so glum?” I asked. “Look at this room!” I skipped in, then spun around a few times. “It’s the perfect place for a sleepover!” Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Broccoli, we sleep together every night.”“Awa.”“Yes, but not inside a dragon’s lair! We can have... tea and hard tack, and talk about our feelings, and sleep on a giant pile of pillows.” I clapped. “Pillow forts!”Orange peeled herself out of my backpack and landed on the ground next to me. Then she sauntered over to the pile of pillows, eyed it for a moment, then skipped from one to the next until she was at the very top.“See!”“Awa, it might be nice?” Awen tried. “Well, I suppose,” Amaryllis said. “I am rather awake right now. It’s too early for a proper rest.”Booksie shrugged. “I guess,” she said. I cheered. “Yes! I’m gonna see if there's nice things to wear for sleep!” I said as I rushed over to the dressers. On opening them, I found piles of very pretty dresses shoved in with more force than they probably deserved. I tugged out a large ball gown and held it up, or tried to, but the hem was huge and it trailed onto the ground. Amaryllis was soon by my side, carefully digging into the dresses with her talons and ‘tsking’ about how unfashionable they all were. “This is nice,” I said as I found one dresser filled with nightgowns. I ‘ooohed’ at the silkiness of them, then started undressing. “A-awa,” Awen said. “B-Broccoli, what are you doing?” she asked.“I don’t have anything you don’t,” I scoffed as I pushed my clothes to the side, then slipped into one of the gowns. It was nice and long, ending just above the knees. Like wearing one of my dad’s old t-shirts for bed when I was little. Soon-with much stuttering and blushing from Awen-we were all dressed for bed and had yoinked a nice number of pillows out from the pile to form a circle to sit and lay on. “I suppose this is the part where we sharpen our talons and talk about mates?” “I don’t have talons,” I said as I wiggled my hands around. “But I guess I could do with a manicure.” I looked down at my feet and wiggled my toes. “And a pedicure. Walking so much has been giving me callouses.”“Awa, I know some magic for that. And, um, I can use my tools,” Awen said.“Really?” I asked. Awen crawled over to her pack, then returned with a small knife and a heavy-looking file. “Do you want me to start with you?” she asked.“Sure!” I said.Having someone play with my hands, especially when they were being as gentle and caring as Awen, felt really decadent. Or maybe that was the silk gown and the pillows. “So,” Booksie said. She was hugging a big plush rectangle to her chest. “Um. Rhawrexdee.”“Yes?” I asked. I wanted to pretend that I was being casual, but my ears were literally wiggling in her direction and Awen’s motions had slowed down a bit.“What do you intend to do about him?” Amaryllis asked.Booksie buried her face into her pillow. “I don’t know,” she whined. I heard a faint snort from the doorway, something that I would have probably missed otherwise. I swivelled an ear that way, which felt pretty darned weird but was handy, and started listening harder. “Your entire situation is strange,” Amaryllis said. “But if you... like him, then I suppose you could give it a try? It wouldn’t be a terribly physical relationship.”“Awa,” Awen awaed. “That’s, that’s dirty, Amaryllis.”If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.“Well, it’s true. Did you see the size of him?”Amaryllis was cut off when a red-faced Booksie flung a pillow into the side of her head. “I’m, I’m not thinking about that,'' she said. “I’m more worried about... I don’t know. It’s too soon, and I hardly know him, and now his mother thinks I’m some sort of daughter-in-law? You’d think they’d move slower.”Another huff from the door.I carefully pulled my hand back from Awen, earning a confused look from the girl. I tapped a finger to my lips, then pointed to all the girls in turn while standing up. I made ‘talky’ gestures with my hands, then pointed to myself and the door.Amaryllis caught on fast. “I’d be more worried about his proclivities towards harems. A mate that wants more than one woman is just, urgh.”Booksie’s eyes narrowed. “I might have words with him if he thinks I’m that kind of girl.”I tip-toed over to the door, hopping over stray pillows and keeping my breathing as light as I could until I was right next to the door. I thought that maybe Rhawrexdee was spying on us, which would have been very rude. Boys shouldn’t spy on a sleepover like that. But a flash of green from above and a hint of a long dragon-y talon near the ground, one that flexed into a green-scaled claw said otherwise.Was it Lawlyhoumad?I got to the edge of the entranceway, set my arms on the edge, then brought my upper body around.I found myself staring into a pair of wide red eyes.Not Lawlyhoumad. Not unless the dragoness had shrunk and lost a few tones. “Hi!” I said.The dragon reeled back. I was getting good enough at meeting dragons-and wasn’t that the coolest thing?-that I could tell that this was a girl dragon from the slightly softer features and smaller spines around her sides. Rhawrexdee had mentioned a sister. Her eyes narrowed and she huffed. “Who are you?” she asked.“You didn’t know?” I asked as I stepped around to be in front of her properly. “We came with Rhawrexdee. I’m Broccoli! You’re a girl dragon, right?”“What? Yeah, of course I am.” She glared, then sniffed. “There’s no way my idiot brother found a Riftwalker and a princess at the same time.”“More like we found him, and did you want to join our sleepover? We’re doing our nails and talking about boys. We could become friends!” CholondeeDesired Quality: Someone who will acknowledge her for who she is.Dream: To have the world tremble in fear at her mere presence and to be left alone to enjoy her smut.“It’ll be fun?” I tried.Cholondee shrugged her wings. “Sure.”That was easy. I grinned up at her, then skipped back into the room. “We’re getting another girl for our party,” I said.Amaryllis looked at me with mounting horror, then sighed when Cholondee casually strolled in after me. “So, what kind of sleepover is this?” the dragon asked.“Awa,” Awen fiddled with her file. “Um. We’re just... talking, and doing our nails?” Cholondee took that with a nod, then crashed onto the large pile of pillows. Fluff flew everywhere, and a few tatters of lace rained down on our heads. A very disgruntled Orange poked her head out from between two of the pillows Cholondee was squishing, then she flowed out from between them and stomped off in a kitty huff to find somewhere else to sleep. “Do my talons next,” Cholondee said as she placed her claws in the middle of our little circle.“Awa.... okay?” Awen said. She looked around, then carefully grabbed my hand and went back to work on it. “So, you were talking about my idiot brother?” Cholondee asked.Booksie nodded. “We may or may not be dating,” she said. “I’m not entirely sure. In fact, I don’t think your brother knows either.”“You don’t smell like a princess. What got him to not eat you?”“I think we just... hit it off? Your brother is surprisingly nice. And he is rather gentle when he’s not planning to eat anyone.”Cholondee let her head drop so that it was resting over her claws. “Yeah. He’s a pain in the flanks, but he’s not so bad. You should see some of the other dragons out there. I swear half the boys just want me as some sort of extension to their harem and half just want to rut and move on. It’s awful.”“That is awful,” I agreed. “Boys like that aren’t very nice.”The dragon rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it. But my mom has been insisting that I go find a mate lately. Real nag about it. Can’t a girl have other goals in life than raising some brats?”I nodded along. “What do you want to do? And, uh, are dragons mammals?” “No, we’re dragons, and yeah, there are other things I want. World domination, to set myself up as god queen of some nation, the usual. Mom doesn’t get it. She’s so last century.”I reached out, careful not to disturb Awen’s work, and patted Cholondee’s talons. “I understand,” I said. “But still, your mom seems nice. I think she wants the best for you. Maybe try talking to her?”“Urgh. But that’s so lame.”“It’s how I dealt with my parents,” I said.“Awa, I wish I could talk to mine,” Awen said. “They were very.... Um, I think Lady dragon is lucky to have such a nice mom.”“Call me Cholondee, I’m not big on the whole lady this and lady that,” the dragoness said. “So, you guys have any food?” “Just hardtack and some travel rations,” I said. “You can have my jerky. Ever since I turned into a bun meat tastes different. It’s weird.”“You can still eat it,” Booksie said. “But it might upset your tummy if you eat too much.”“It’s okay. I don’t mind being a vegetarian. Ohh, I could put some tea on!” I was quite proud of how quickly my friends took in a new potential friend. It was nice to see that I was surrounded by such kind people.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen — Breaking Fast
Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen — Breaking Fast The thing I was hugging shifted, and that was enough to tear me out of a pleasant dream that was instantly forgotten. Blinking grubby eyes open, I found myself staring at a dimly lit green... thing. It was big, that was obvious. I had one leg over its side and both arms wrapped around it in a hug.It took stretching my neck up and following the green thing up to a big green rump for me to put two and two together. I was hugging Cholondee’s tail.That was probably rather rude. But the dragoness didn’t seem to mind. She was slumped over on her side, the mountain of pillows she was on bending her back awkwardly. Her forearms were up in the air and her mouth was wide open. She looked a bit like a sleepy puppy.I pulled back and rolled over, pillows squishing under me until I was turned around. My other friends were all laid out across the floor. Awen nearby, with her nightgown pulled up a scandalous amount, Amaryllis was a little ways away, head tucked into her armpit and legs splayed out above her, and Booksie was sleeping on her tummy, bum in the air so that her little tail stuck way out.Smiling, I wobbled up to my feet, then rubbed at the side of my face. There was no way to tell the time, but I had the impression it was morning. That, and my back was a bit sore. Hopping out of the pillow-pile, I landed some ways away, then stretched up and down a little bit. It was a good thing I wasn’t old, or else my back would be all painful. Cholondee was the next to wake up. She snorted, blinked a few times, then shifted her head around until it was upright, even though the rest of her wasn’t. Further proof that dragons were cool. “Oh, is it morning already?” she asked.The dragoness didn’t do much to keep her voice down, which meant that all the others woke up one at a time. “Yup!” I said. “At least, I think so. It’s time to get up and face the day! Oh, and breakfast.”The dragon murmured something that sounded approving and twisted until she started to roll.Awen squeaked and leapt out of her path, crashing onto some pillows lower down while Cholondee got to all fours. “Breakfast!” she said.“Do you have anything we can eat?” I asked. “And a washroom?” “Hrm? Nope. I don’t think we have either of those,” the dragoness said. “We could go down to the city. I haven’t actually set claw there in... ah, must be years now.”“We need to get dressed first!” I said.“Ah, yeah, you do that. I’ll be at the cave entrance.” The dragoness yawned and stomped her way out of the room, only pausing to rub the side of a claw next to her eye to remove the sleep gunk.I moved over to the dressers, found my things, and started dressing. The others soon joined me, and I got to watch Amaryllis go through the delicate process of stuffing her wings through the arms of her jacket. When we were all more or less dressed, I eyed the mess we’d made of the room, then fired a heavy burst of cleaning magic which... did nothing for the torn pillows. But it did freshen things up, so I called it a win. “Ready to go?” I asked.“You are too cheerful,” Amaryllis said. “Please tone it down to about... half.”“Never!” I said before glomping her. “I just need to rub some of my good mood onto you.” I rubbed my cheek against hers until she shoved me off.“Idiot.”“Awa, Broccoli isn’t an idiot.”Amaryllis stared at Awen. “Have you seen the way she acts?”“I, I like the way she acts,” Awen said. That earned her a hug.“That’s because you’re an idiot too,” Amaryllis said. She did seem to be in a better mood though, so I counted that as a point for Broccoli.We arrived at the front of the cavern hall in due time to find that there was not one, but two dragons waiting for us. Rhawrexdee was glaring at his sister who wore a proud grin right back. “You finally got here,” Cholondee said. “Just in time to see this big lug embarrass himself.”“What are you saying?” Rhawrexdee asked. “Are you talking poorly about me? I know that look in your eyes. I swear if you ruin this for me, I’m telling mom.”Cholondee turned to her brother and scoffed. “What are you, a hatchling? Do you need mom for everything?” “I don’t need her to beat the idiocy out of you,” Rhawrexdee said. The air around him crackled and snapped.“Hey! Hey! Wait!” I called out, arms waving around for attention as I bounced between the two dragons. “There’s no need for a spat. Cholondee, don’t be too mean. And Rhawrexdee, she was just greeting us.”Rhawrexdee huffed. “Fine. I swear I’m going to spend the next decade learning common so that you can’t play any tricks on me.”“Oh? You’re not going to learn it so that you can whisper sweet nothings to your girlfriend?” Cholondee asked. “She’s not my girlfriend,” Rhawrexdee said.“She might never be once she hears that,” Cholondee said. Rhawrexdee set his legs. “Are you determined to test me?” “Yup!” Cholondee said.I fired off two balls of cleaning magic that booped each dragon in the chest. They flinched back and turned to stare at me. “Can’t we all just be nice to each other?” I asked. “We should get breakfast. After we’ve eaten I’m sure we’ll all feel a lot nicer.”Cholondee rubbed at her chest with a claw. “Was that cleaning magic?” she asked.“Uh. Yes?” “Do it again.”I blinked, then with a shrug fired another little ball of it towards her. It smacked her claw and did a lot of nothing. “Oh, can you see this sheen? It looks like it was polished.” Cholondee held up her claw to the sun and turned it this way and that. “You can ride on me today. You need to cover me in that magic. I’m going to shine like freshly minted gold. But green, which is the best colour.”Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.“Sure!” I said. “I’d love to ride you. Will my friends go with Rhawrexdee?” “I suppose I can allow the others to come with me,” Rhawrexdee said magnanimously.“I could carry two more...” Cholondee said. “Maybe... I could carry that other bun?” “Try me,” Rhawrexdee growled. I left the two to their teasing for a bit as I gathered my friends and our things. Orange was napping in Amaryllis’ jacket and Awen was holding onto my pack for me while Booksie was shifting from foot to foot. I told them what was going on, and soon we were all climbing into a dragon’s big foreclaws. Awen and I got to ride pressed up against Cholondee while the others went with Rhawrexdee.Being held by a dragon wasn’t nearly as awesome as riding on a dragon’s back, but it also felt a whole heck of a lot safer. Lawlyhoumad’s lair was only a hop and a skip away from Port Royal, so within only a few minutes we-or rather, our dragon friends-were circling above the city and watching the homes and panicked people flash past below. I caught sight of Booksie pointing towards part of the city a moment before Rhawrexdee angled his wings and came gliding to a graceful stop in a big square. Sure, he tore the head off a statue with his tail, but none of the people screaming for dear life and hopping away seemed to mind that. Cholondee came for a much more hover-y landing behind her brother, then lowered her claws. “Hop off, we’re not made to stand on our rear like this,” she said.Grinning, I jumped off the dragon and then helped Awen down. The square was rather nice, with some shops lining every side and a couple of cozy cafes next to old stone buildings with red roofs. The smell was... Port Royal’s, with a mix of sulphur and poop that had my nose wrinkling, but there were some faint traces of baked goods and cooked meats in the air. Blue-roofed shops with big awnings hid trembling customers, most of them grenoil, but there were a few humans and harpies mixed in for good measure. I waved to one such group but that just had them cowering even more.“So, where do we go for breakfast?” I wondered aloud.“Ah, I know a place just down that street,” Booksie said as she pointed down one of the-fortunately-wider roads. “It’s a little family-owned place. I know the owners, I’m sure they’d let us all eat outside, and there’s a butcher’s shop not too far away.”“A butcher’s shop?” I asked.“For Rhawr and Cholondee,” Booksie explained.“Ohh, using pet names already,” Cholondee asked.Booksie turned to face the other direction to hide her flush, but it didn’t work so well when her ears were ramrod straight and glowing under their fluff. “Follow me!” We walked, and stomped, as a group down the thoroughfare meeting very little by way of traffic. I had to hold back giggles at the wide-eyed looks we were getting from the locals as they saw two dragons walking down the middle of the street.The place Booksie brought us to was a nice little restaurant, tucked in between two bigger residential buildings. Its little wooden sign, the Rustless Spoon, dangled above a cheery blue door that hid a small room with four little tables and a dozen seats. An older, matronly grenoil woman was behind the counter, setting things up for the morning when all the smaller members of our party stepped in. “Hello, welcome to ze... Booksie?”“Hello,” Booksie said. “It’s been a bit.”“Oh, sweetie, I zought ze Morepoles had run you out of town. It’s so good to see you!” She stepped out from behind the counter and raised her arms for a hug. She was a bit short, so Booksie had to bend down for it. “I brought some friends I found,” Booksie said. “Um, we’re all kind of hungry, but we can’t eat in here. Would it be a bother if we brought some chairs out?”“Outside? Ah, but ze stink will ruin ze meal,” the old grenoil said. “Some of my friends won’t fit in your shop,” Booksie said.Cholondee chose that moment to peek through the window, her eye taking up most of the frame. “Do they make dragon-sized portions here?” she asked.“Ah,” the grenoil matron said. She stood rooted on the spot for a long time.“It’s okay,” I said. “They’re friendly... ish. We decided to all come and help Booksie with her Port Royal problems.”“You brought a dragon to take care of street ruffians?” the grenoil asked. “Ah, I would not want to be one of zose Morepoles today. Take any chair you want dearie. I’m going to come out once my heart remembers zat it’s too old to be beating zis fast.”“Thank you,” Booksie said with a bow of her head. Soon we were outside, setting four chairs along one side of a table that Amaryllis and I lugged out. Our dragon companions settled on the road across from us, effectively blocking the entire path. I felt a bit bad, but not bad enough to do anything about it. There were hardly any dragon-appropriate accommodations around, what were they supposed to do?“There’s a butcher’s shop just around the corner,” Booksie said. “Does one of you want to help me?”“Awen, you go,” Amaryllis said. “Broccoli will deal with the guards. And I’ll chaperone Rhawrexdee here.”“The guards?” I asked.“Those guards.”I followed where Amaryllis long talon was pointing to a large gathering of plate-mailed grenoils with feathered helmets.“Oh,” I said. “I hope this doesn’t take too long. I’m really getting hungry.”“We could always eat the guards,” Cholondee suggested.I was beginning to think that maybe bringing the dragons to Port Royal was a bad idea.
Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen — Morepoles
Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen — Morepoles I brushed off the front of my skirt to make sure it was neat, then I spritzed myself with a bit of cleaning magic to make sure I was nice and presentable. “I’m going to go say hi to the nice guard people,” I said.“Ohh, I’m coming too,” Cholondee said.“Uh. Are you sure?” I asked.“I’m bored,” she said right back. “And also a dragon.”“Well, alright.” I kinda wanted to handle things peacefully, but I couldn’t deny that having a big stick might help a little. It wasn’t very nice-in fact, it was downright rude-but so was telling Cholondee to stay behind. The walk over to the guards was short, but I tried to enjoy it. Port Royal was a neat place. Sure, the smell was a bit much, and the rattle and clang of steam pipes all over was somewhat annoying, but at the same time they lent the city some ambiance, like off beat percussion music. The guards shuffled as we got closer, so I smiled at them the best I could and waved. “Hello,” I said. “I’m Broccoli Bunch! This is my friend Cholondee.”“Hello!” Cholondee said.“We’re here for breakfast and to find some people,” I said. “But we noticed all of you gathering here and we thought we’d say hi. And we did. So, um... hi!” The guards had their weapons out, clubs with metal bands around the ends, and some had their little round shields raised as if that could protect them. Still none of them acted for a bit until one of the group stepped up.He was a short grenoil, with a bunch of scars across his big jowls and narrow eyes that, unlike those of his partners, seemed more suspicious than afraid. He also had a few extra tassels running from the pauldrons of his armour. “You’re here for... breakfast?” he asked.“Yup. And we’re looking for some people after that. If we need help looking though, you’ll be the first people I ask,” I said. “But that’s for after breakfast.”“And does breakfast involve eating any of ze citizens of Port Royal?” he asked.“Oh, eww,” I said. “I’d never eat a person.”“No doubt your friend there wouldn’t say ze same,” the guard said.Cholondee showed off her teeth with a huge smile. “Don’t put words in my mouth, or you’ll join them.”“Hey, hey,” I said as I stepped up between everyone. “We can’t be friends if we’re eating or fighting each other. So, let’s all just... not do any of that, please? We really aren’t here to cause trouble.”The guard eyed me for a good long while. “Alright,” he said. With a gesture he had the other guards lowering their stances, though they looked a little confused about it. “If you can promise me zat you’ll not cause any trouble, zen all we’ll do is station some men around ze area to cordon it off until you leave. Is zat fine?”“Uh. I-I guess. What if we don’t leave today though?”Cholondee shifted forwards. “I’m not sleeping in this place, not unless I can sleep on all of their gold.”“No no, but maybe my friends and I will stay here. They have inns, and we’ll be closer to Booksie’s problems.”The dragoness gave me a weird look. “You don’t want to have another sleep-over?”“Of course I do!” I said truthfully. “But sleepovers lose their magic if you have one every night. And your lair isn’t exactly equipped for the kinds of things we do as a group. Unless... Did you want to join our party? We go out and have adventures! There's a lot of camping, which is like a sleepover but not quite.” “Do you make lots of gold?” “No, not really,” I said.She shook her head. “Nah. That doesn’t sound like my kind of thing, then. Let’s go eat.”The dragon started the tricky process of turning around without knocking any buildings over, so I turned towards the guards again. “Right, I promise we won’t cause any trouble,” I said. I then worked hard to pretend not to hear the crunching sound of Cholondee rubbing against someone’s home.“We’ll be watching,” the guard said.I smiled and waved as I bounded off and returned to my friends. I got back just as Booksie and Awen returned, the latter pushing a wheelbarrow forwards while Booksie hugged a big package of wax paper in her arms. They set a veritable banquet of meats onto the ground. Big flanks, and ribs and gooey bits of uncooked meat, all set onto the road in two big piles. “I hope you don’t mind,” Booksie said. “I don’t know what kind of meat you like, so after explaining things to the butcher, we just bought the most we could with the money we had.”“Did you need more money?” I asked.“Awa, no, no it’s okay, I have a bit.”Amaryllis grinned. “Why don’t you tell Broccoli how you made all that money?” “Awww, that’s not necessary,” Awen squeaked.“Oh?” I asked. “Now I’m curious,” I said as I pulled out my seat. My curiosity had to be put on hold as the elderly grenoil lady that ran the restaurant stepped out, clutching a notepad to her chest and eying the dragons with apprehension. Still, she was very brave, and as soon as we started asking about her menu she slid into an easy routine. When she left a moment or two later I turned back to Awen and grinned. “So... spill!” “Awa,” Awen said dejectedly. “I had a few sil, and there was someone taking bets at the arena.”“In Rosenbell?” I asked.She nodded. “No one thought that you would win your first fight, so I won a lot. And then I bet all of that on the next two as well and, awa, I made a lot.” She buried her face in her hands.“Well, there’s nothing wrong with believing in your friends,” I said.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.“She only bet half on the last match,” Amaryllis piped up. “Awa, it, it was a sound, um, investment. The odds on your last fight weren’t nearly as good. It’s not that I didn’t think that you could win or anything, it’s just that,” Awen paused to take in a deep breath, so I grabbed her in a side hug, lifted her up, and placed her on my lap. It was easy to forget that Awen was just a bit smaller than I was. “It’s okay Awen!” I said as I squeezed her from behind. “You’re one of my best friends, you don’t need to justify yourself to me.”“Awa.”Food arrived in short order and Awen was-somewhat reluctantly-moved back to her seat so that we could chow down. It was while the dragons were arguing over who should get the (slightly) bigger half of the meat that Booksie cleared her throat. “Um. Now that we are here, in Port Royal, I mean, I think that maybe I should tell you all the full story.”“You left out some things?” I asked.She made a wishy-washy gesture with her fork. “More like I wasn’t expecting actual help, not like this, so I didn’t go too deep into things.”Amaryllis huffed. “Well, no time like the present.”Booksie nodded while focusing on her meal. “There’s a group, they call themselves an organization, but really they’re more of a gang. They occupy the Scumways, mostly, a district near the docks that are hardly fit for living in, a part of the city that a lot of people would like to pretend doesn’t exist.”“Do they have a name?” I asked. “The Morepoles. There used to be a few gangs like that, but they all folded into one. That was before I ever came to live here though. They’re somewhat important. The docks need a lot of workers for simple things, and they provide that, they do neighborhood watches and have a soup kitchen. On the surface they’re not so bad.”“And under that no doubt sparkling exterior?” Amaryllis asked with the tone of someone who already knew the answer. “Underneath they’re pretty bad,” Booksie said. “They demand a tax from businesses, like mine, and they run the black market. I heard that some of the nobles use them to smuggle goods in and out of the city, so maybe that’s why no one ever cracked down on them.”“That sounds awful,” I said. “And they’re the ones that made you lose your shop?”She nodded. “Not directly. They just kept asking for more, and I knew what would happen if I didn’t pay. They told me I could work for them a few days a week to pay things off. Buns are wanted for some... things. But I refused. I don’t think they liked that because the month after they said I owed them even more.”I smacked a hand on the table. “Well, we just need to tell the authorities then.”“Broccoli, your faith in the law is quite adorable, but entirely misplaced,” Amaryllis said. “These types of organizations need the law-or part of it-on their side to work. Or at least, they need to be ignored.”I slumped. “Then what do we do?” I asked.“We could spit poison in their den,” Cholondee said between chomping bites. “That usually works.”“What can we do that isn’t that,” I said.“Hey!” the dragon protested.Rhawrexdee snorted. He couldn’t understand the conversation, but he could tell that his sister had been insulted and that was enough for him.“I think what we need to do is go find the boss of this gang and talk him out of all of this nasty business,” I said. “That should be possible, right?” “Your optimism is at once terrifying and idiotic,” Amaryllis said. She was done eating already and was rubbing at her magic ring with the tip of a talon. “But we are dealing with thugs here. I doubt most of them have done more than get into a tavern brawl or two. We should be able to handle ourselves.”“Neat,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to meet the mafia.”“Why?” Amaryllis asked.I shrugged. “They have cool hats,” I said. “That’s... World itself, I forget how dumb you are sometimes.”“Hey!” I said. “Hats are important. They tell you a lot about a person.”“Awa, I don’t have a hat,” Awen said.“We can fix that,” I reassured her. “There has to be a hat shop somewhere in Port Royal.”Amaryllis was frowning and staring off into the distance. “The nobility in the Nesting Kingdom do all wear elaborate headpieces. I... can’t believe you might be onto something.”I pointed to Rhawrexdee. “One in three dragons we know wear cool hats. So that’s another point of data in favour of my hypothesis that hats are, in fact, neat.”“What are you talking about?” Rhawrexdee asked.“Hats,” Booksie said. “We’ve noticed that important people wear them.”The dragon puffed up and gave his sister a look of incredible smugness. “Is that right?” he asked.Cholondee snapped her head around to look my way. “We must go hat shopping,” she declared.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 1!Mana +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Huh?” I said. Then the wash of tingly giddiness that came with a level up coursed through me and I had to hold back a shiver. “What is it?” Amaryllis asked. She had probably seen my reaction. I grinned back at her, appreciating the concern that immediately appeared in her voice.“I levelled up.” My eyes narrowed. “Is it because I was talking about hats?” No... that was too silly. Then again, I didn’t know what kind of things that Wonderlander class was truly good for. Other than making tea. Anything was possible!My harpy friend sighed. “I’m getting seconds. I might be able to drown out the stupid with food.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty — Into the Scumways
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty — Into the Scumways With breakfast done, we all sat around the table-or flopped onto the ground-and basked in the glory of having full tummies and good friends around us. I had Orange sprawled out across my lap where I was absently rubbing her behind the ears while staring at the last bit of food on my plate. The ‘should I, I shouldn’t’ playing in the back of my mind was pleasant.But, as with all things, it couldn’t last. “We should get going sometime soon,” I said with a sigh.Booksie patted her tummy where she had a food baby. “Oh? Are we all going?”“Hmm,” I hmmed. “I don’t know. Maybe just a few of us.”“What are you even planning on doing?” she asked. “I don’t think the Morepoles will listen to your pleas. No offence.”“Yeah, I know. But if we don’t at least try to talk things out first then I’d feel bad. Everyone deserves a chance before other options are taken.”“Other options,” Amaryllis repeated. “Like killing them?”“What? No!” I said. “I mean like talking to the police. Maybe... I don’t know, suing them.”“We could eat them,” Cholondee suggested. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. The dragoness nodded. “You’re probably right,” she said.“I am? I mean. Yes. of course.” I was expecting to have to make up some quick excuses to stop her from eating the locals. Being friends with dragons was totally awesome, but they had a few habits that I found rather distasteful and hard to accept. I wasn’t sure if that was me being discriminatory, or if it was okay to accept that a friend had the habit of eating people. “Yeah,” she continued. “The grenoil taste all stringy and wet.”I slumped into my seat. “A-anyway, I think the best thing to do would be to go over to wherever these Morepole people are and talk to their boss. Give them a nice friendly warning and maybe talk things out. And if that doesn’t work then we’ll figure things out from there.”“Awa, that, that sounds like a nice plan,” Awen said. “Um. Maybe we can put pressure on them some other ways if it doesn’t work. My mom and dad were good at that kind of thing. They taught me how to do a bit of that. I was never very good at it, but with Broccoli, I’m sure we could figure it out.”Amaryllis sighed and plucked the last bit of bread off my plate. “Might as well,” she said as she chewed. “Right! So now we just need to decide who goes, and who stays up here,” I said. “I think that maybe Booksie should stay out of it. Just in case.”The bun shrugged. “I don’t mind. The Scumways aren’t exactly my idea of a fun time. And I could go see if my shop still stands.” She turned to Rhawrexdee and smiled up at him. “Would you like to accompany me? We could see if any of the books I talked about are still there.”“I suppose I could go with you,” Rhawrexdee said with some ambivalence. His tail shifting behind him gave up the lie. “I’m going with your group then. The less time I spend with that blue lump the better,” Cholondee said.I looked to Awen and Amaryllis, but Awen just seemed lost and Amaryllis was toying with her ring and not paying attention. “Well okay then!” There was some shuffling about as we got to our feet with all the energy of a group of retirees on a warm afternoon. The tab was settled with the nice grenoil lady, Orange was set on the ground and the table and chairs were dragged back into the restaurant.“I’d give goodbye hugs, but we should be seeing each other again in a bit,” I said.Booksie grinned. “I wouldn’t say no to a hug anyway,” she said. I laughed as she squeezed the stuffing out of me. “We’ll see you soon!” I said.Booksie waved us off before turning to Rhawrexdee. I led the rest of my friends deeper into the city and past the first line of guards who scrambled out of my path. “So,” I said a little bit later. “Where are the Morepoles anyway?” “You’re the one leading us and you don’t know?” Amaryllis asked.“I was only in Port Royal twice before, and never for much more than a day,” I said.“Then why are you the one we’re following?” Amaryllis asked. “You moron. I thought you knew where you were going.”I smiled sheepishly back at her, then pointed to the ground ahead of us where Orange was walking, tail high and posture as proud as could be. “Actually, Orange was ahead.”Amaryllis whapped my side with a wing. “Don’t be pedantic. We can ask for directions. Someone around here must know where these Morepoles are based.” She turned narrow eyes onto one of the younger guards who hadn’t quite scrambled far enough away and then stomped over to him with a click-clack of her talons on the cobbles. “You. Tell me where the Scumways are.”“Please,” I added.“Ah, zey are not a very nice place, miss,” he said.“We have a dragon,” Amaryllis said.“Ah. Yes. Well. Um.” He swallowed as Cholondee and Awen came closer too. Though I don’t think Awen really scared him that much. “Zey’re zat way,” he said as he pointed more or less towards the docks. “West end of ze city, near ze docks.”“Now we know where we’re going,” Amaryllis said with smugness that I thought was entirely undeserved. Still, she’d gotten some results. “Whelp, let’s go then,” I said.The Scumways, as it turned out, were a bit of a dump. The area was tucked behind a wall dotted with tenement buildings. It was in a natural hollow along the side of the mountain holding Port Royal. The docks were just a bit to the south, with airships passing ahead in a hurry. A gate blocked off the area, just like the one in the East side of town, though this one wasn’t guarded as much and the road, missing cobbles and all, was a whole lot dirtier, with trash piled up along corners and the little half-pipe gutters along the sidewalks jammed up by old newspapers and refuse. The colourful little street vendors I’d seen just about everywhere in Port Royal were missing. In their stead were groups of young grenoil, often in tattered clothes with knives at their hips.This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.They might have been scary, but we had a Cholondee with us, and one hungry look from her had them scurrying away. Passing the gates was easy for most of us, but Cholondee said some very rude words in what I think might have been her native tongue as she sucked in her tummy and shuffled through the gate at an angle. As it turns out, Dragons are like cats. If their head fits, so will the rest of them. Mostly because if the rest doesn’t fit, they’ll make it fit.“So, where do we start?” Cholondee asked as she shook off some masonry. I looked around the little area past the gate. The homes in Port Royal have all been nice and sturdy. Wooden walls over stone foundations, with obvious signs that some magic trickery had been used to sculpt things. The homes in the Scumways were entirely different. Ramshackle buildings of wood and rusty steel. Streaks of rust and dirt from the mountainous overhang streaked the walls and even from where I stood I could make out big mushrooms growing out of humid corners. The constant rattle from copper pipes was present here too, but the pipes themselves were in a bad way. One of them had a crack in it and every few seconds, like clockwork, a spurt of brackish water would spritz out of it. The smell gave no doubt as to why the water was brown. Orange took one look at the place and started walking up into the air until she hovered half a dozen feet up.“So, if I were a gang of do-badders, where would I hide?” I wondered aloud as I surveyed the area. I could see why a gang might form in a place like this. The people living here, just one wall away from the much cleaner and nicer parts of the city, must have been filled with resentment, especially if it was hard to move out of the area. I could imagine someone promising a young grenoil some money if they just did as they asked, pretending to be their friend while dangling opportunities before them. Someone desperate enough would take the bait.I scrunched my nose at the thought. “We could ask one of the locals,” Amaryllis said. “If any of them were around.”The square was nearly empty except for one older grenoil leaning against a far wall, mouth wide open and bottle of booze next to his snoring form. “I’ll go find someone,” I said.I stepped away from my friends, then heard Awen jogging to catch up to me. “Awa, you’re going off on your own?” she asked.I smiled over my shoulder. “You can come, of course.”“Thank you!” she said. “So, um, we’re looking for people?” I nodded. “That’s the idea. Just someone who might know where these Morepoles are staying.”The next street over had a few shops and such, mostly decrepit little stores with barred windows and big stocky grenoil standing before them. I counted three apothecaries and two pawn shops out of the ten or so stores lining the street. There were some people here, mostly grenoil but some humans and a few harpy too. They all looked like they could use a bath.I flicked off the reins holding back my Rank A Cleaning magic and breathed a little easier as the air around me became suffused with my mana. The skill was doing most of the work controlling the magic while I focused on other things.“Awa, thank you,” Awen said. “You, um, smell much nicer than this place.” she was eyeing everything suspiciously, her crossbow no longer strapped over her back but hugged up against her chest.“You’re welcome,” I said. The magic was doing a number to the street underfoot, so I decided to move along. Now, if I was a bad, bad person and someone wanted to talk to me, where would I be?“That alleyway looks nice and dangerous,” I said as I pointed to a dark tunnel between two buildings. “Awa, we’re not going there, right?” Awen asked.“Of course! We’re two innocent girls, that’s the perfect place to find a bad guy who might know things.”Awen followed, eyes darting this way and that, into the dark and stinky alley way. Even my magic couldn’t stop the smell of dung from wafting over to me as I moved into the shadows. I paused to pull my shovel out from where I’d stuffed it between my back and pack.“I should really learn some light magic to use as a torch of sorts,” I said as I moved deeper into the alley. It was quite dark, the sunlight not quite able to make it to the bottom. “I can show you some lights,” a gruff voice said from up ahead.A grenoil man appeared, covered in rags and looking like he’d just come out of a brawl. He had a big knife in one hand and was smiling wide when he saw us. “Insight,” I muttered.A Grenoil Scumrunner, level 10Same level as my main class. “Hello sir,” I said. “Sorry to be a bother, but I was hoping to ask for directions.”“How ‘bout ya give me your purse and we’ll see,” he said.“I could give you a few cop, I guess,” I said. “We just have a couple of questions.”“How about you give me all of your cops. Zen I’ll answer all of your questions.”“Eh... no.” I shook my head. “That’s not how I want this to go down, mister.” The grenoil blinked and looked at his knife as if to make sure it was there. “What? No, give me all your coin!” “I said no,” I said. I did reach into a pocket of my bandoleer and removed a pair of copper coins. “I’ll give you these if you tell me where I can find the Morepoles.”“I’m not asking ya, I’m telling ya to give me all ze coin ya have,” he said.I sighed. “Mister, I’m not going to let you mug me. If you don’t want to help that’s fine. Could you point me to another mugger?” The grenoil man stared for a long moment. “Are you mad?” he asked.“No, I’m pretty sure I’m sane. I just need to find the Morepoles, and soon. We have two impatient dragons to distract so if we take too long it might be trouble.”“I’ll stab ya?” he tried.I shook my head again. “I mean, you could try. But then we’d be having a very different sort of conversation.” I pulled out a silver coin. “Two cop, one sil for the info?” I smiled big and bright. “Please?”
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One — Gangsta Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One — Gangsta Bun “We know where to look!” I called out to Amaryllis and Cholondee as I raced back to them. The mugger had been very informative after a little bit. He was even kind of nice. The streets were still mostly clear, though a few people were poking their heads out of alleyways and over the lips of the roofs to stare down at Cholondee. The dragoness was, after all, a very impressive lady. We would need to move though, there didn’t seem to be that many exits to the Scumways and we were effectively blocking one of them which was a bit rude. “What did you learn?” Amaryllis asked.I came to a bouncing stop before her and looked over to make sure Awen was still on my heels. “We found out where the Morepoles have their big base. It’s way on the other side of the Scumways, near to the docks.”One of Amaryllis’ eyebrows rose up a bit. “I would have expected them to be closer to the nice parts of town, not so close to where the smell is this awful.”“Maybe it’s for solidarity?” I asked.“Broccoli, they’re a criminal organization, I doubt solidarity is a major factor.”I shook my head. “It should be. Think of how it would look to their members to see that some of them are living way better than them. It sends the wrong image.”“Awa, do you know a lot about gangs and such, Broccoli?” Awen asked.I tried not to flush. “When I was little I had different goals. I wanted to either be a veterinarian so that I could spend the day playing with cute animals, or an anthropologist so that I could meet new sorts of people, but for a little bit I wanted to be a gangster.”“A gangster,” Amaryllis repeated, her voice so flat it could have been used as a level.I tucked my hands away at the small of my back. “They have cool beanies.”Amaryllis huffed her ‘this is silly, let’s move on’ huff and fluttered a wing about in a ‘go on’ gesture. “We could get moving. I’d like to get this business done sometime today. I do have things I’d rather be doing.”“You do?” I asked.“Idiot, of course I do,” Amaryllis said. “But we can get all of this stuff done first.”I grinned. “It’s really nice of you to want to help Booksie this much,” I said.Amaryllis glared. “You said near the docks, right? It should be that way.” She pointed off to the side. “We’ll use the widest roads we can.”“Oh please, if you’re going to try and find a route that I can fit in then just give up, I’ve seen this place from the air,” Cholondee said. “I’d have to tear down half these buildings to pass through, and while that would be amusing, it would also scuff my scales. I’m going to fly off my breakfast, maybe find some Sky Murgh to snack on.”“Ah, okay,” I said. “How will we find you again?” I asked.The dragon eyed me, mirth making her eyes twist up at the corners. “Foolish bun, I’m the predator here. I find you.”With that, she spread her wings wide and started to beat at the ground. I had to press my skirts down and cover my eyes as huge gusts of wind rushed past. When they abated, Cholondee was far above and circling over the city. I waved up to her and saw her waving back a moment later. Dragons were so cool! Once I was done fangirling about my new friend, I skipped over to my more ground-bound friends, grabbed their hands and/or talons, and started pulling them along after me. “Let’s go find the boss!”The roads of the Scumways needed some serious maintenance. Pulling my friends along already made travelling hard, but the missing cobbles and the cracked pavement made it harder still. As soon as we were a block over, the city became a little livelier. Or maybe that wasn’t the right word. There were more people about, definitely, but they were shifty. Grenoil in long coats standing by the entrance of alleys, women of a few races in revealing clothes leaning next to houses with red bows over their doors. A few folk eyed us mistrustfully as we moved by, and I was getting the distinct impression that we weren’t welcome. Maybe it was because we stuck out like sore thumbs. My armour and dress were both bright, Awen’s long coat and fancy crossbow too. Amaryllis was the only member of our group wearing more muted colours with her brown over brown outfit, but the way she walked and her white feathers made her stick out anyway. Other people I could see were all dirty and hunched over, wearing grey rags or simple brown clothes, with pant legs that were muddy to mid-calf and their long coats were torn more often than not.I was considering maybe buying a few coats that we could toss over our clothes to better fit in when we rounded a corner and found ourselves on a road with a single man standing in the middle of it. He was a taller, bulkier grenoil, lips curled up at the corners and a long wooden bat over his shoulder. “Heard you girls were lookin’ for us,” he said.I slowed to a stop, then let go of my friends. Just in case, I looked over my shoulder to make sure there wasn’t another group of girls he might have been talking to. It would have been really embarrassing if he was and I replied thinking he meant us. “Maybe,” I said. “We’re looking for the Morepoles. Are you one of them?”“Oh, we are,” he said. The grenoil whistled, a sound I didn’t know grenoil could make, and a dozen people appeared out of the alleys and buildings around us. They were a scruffy mix of grenoil and humans, all dressed in Scumway chique and carrying bats and chains and a few knives. I felt Amaryllis and Awen tense, the air around us filling with the faint scent of ozone as Amaryllis’ magic started to seep out of her and made her feathers rise. Awen pulled her crossbow off her back and had it ready to shoot though she didn’t seem to know where to aim.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.“Are you here to escort us to your boss?” I asked. “Because that would be real helpful!” The big grenoil smiled wide and shifted his bat so that he held it before him. “I’m here to beat ze crap out of ya, zen we’ll see ‘bout bringing you to ze bosses.”I blinked. “That seems really counterintuitive. We just want to talk. I don’t think you know what we want to talk about yet. What if we’re customers?”“Are you customers?” he asked.“Well, no, not really,” I said.“Broccoli, I think that would have been a good moment to lie,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, right, oops.” I tapped the side of my helmet with a knuckle. “But yeah, we’re not here to fight; so maybe we could just not fight and become friends?”Big GreenDesired Quality: Someone who admires how big he is.Dream: To beat up anyone who steps onto his turf.Big Green tightened his grip around his bat and pointed at me with it. “Are you saying we’re too cowardly to fight?”“No? That’s exactly what I didn’t say,” I said. “You hear zat? Ze girl is mocking us!” Big Green said. “We should teach zem a lesson, zen have our fun wiz zem after!” I felt a pit opening up in my tummy. Maybe going to the worst part of town was a bad idea, after all. I pulled my warspade around and off my back while eyeing our surroundings. The street wasn’t too narrow, but it wasn’t all that wide either. Not enough that we could use it as a chokepoint. There was an alleyway nearby, and I could see a set of fire-escape like stairs in its shadows. That might be handy, except there was a young human between us and it. “Insight,” I whispered.An excited human Scavenger, level eight. Weaker than any of us. But I couldn’t bet on that being the case for all of them.“The alley,” I whispered.“I see it,” Amaryllis said.I looked around, other than that one alley, there weren’t that many places to go. “When I say ‘go’ we run,” I muttered.“You think you can just leave?” Big Green asked. Had he heard me? “No sir, I think that instead of fighting we should just— Go!” I spun on a heel and darted towards the alley. The Scavenger in our path looked at us with widening eyes and started to raise the nail-covered piece of wood he had.I batted the wood aside with the end of my spade, then spun around him. As I passed, I flicked out my foot backwards mid-hop and hit him behind the knee. He squeaked as he went down.Amaryllis and Awen slid into the alley and I moved after them in a hurry. “After zem!” The alley was a mess, but I could see the light from another street out ahead of us. Amaryllis cast a bit of light to allow us to skip over some of the trash left on the ground. Booted feet thumped behind us, the thugs getting closer, but we burst out of the other end of the alley without any of them catching up. Amaryllis slid to a stop, raised her hand, and frowned as she focused.“No killing!” I shouted.She huffed. “Close your eyes!” I did as she asked. Light burst out of her hands, followed by a sound like an empty steel drum being flung off the roof of a building. Screams came from within the alley as our followers dealt with the magical equivalent for a flash-bang to the face.“Nice!” I said as I looked around. This street was nicer. Barely. It had a couple of shops, and some crooked street lamps dotted the sides of the road, most missing the two lamps at their tops. “Awa, that way!” Awen said as she pointed to the end of the street. We started to move, only to come to a scampering stop as half a dozen thugs ran out from another alley and cut off our path. Turning around was no good, those Amaryllis hadn’t caught in her blast were moving out behind us, followed by their blinded and dazed buddies. “Shop!” Amaryllis said. She ran over to a store and unceremoniously smashed through its window shoulder-first. Awen jumped in after her. I was too slow to act, before I got to the storefront Big Green landed before me and brandished his bat my way. “You’re not escaping me! None of you are,” he said.I tightened my grip on my spade and looked around, all my ears perked to listen for an opportunity or for trouble. I couldn’t see an easy way out. Maybe I could jump to the roofs? A glance at the two or three grenoil that had followed by jumping over the buildings nixed that idea. Big Green didn’t announce his attack. He just rushed towards me, bat swinging down for my head.I hopped to the side, then had to skip backwards as that brought me into stabbing range of another thug.I was caught in a circle, one that was quickly growing smaller. I tossed my spade up and slid my backpack off in one smooth motion, then caught my spade again. Now I could fight unencumbered.“Fight, you moron!” Amaryllis shouted.A blast of wrist-thick lightning shot out of the store and hit one of the grenoil goons in the side. The grenoil was flung off his feet, his entire body twitching and writhing in midair before he crashed onto the sidewalk. Another man screamed as a bolt appeared in his shin.I decided to take Amaryllis’ words to heart. If these people wanted a fight, they’d get one. And when I was done beating the stuffing out of them I’d lecture them real hard about how to greet people nicely and be friendly because this sort of behaviour was unacceptable.
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Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two — Interrogations
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two — Interrogations Fighting one on one was a lot easier than twelve or so on one.Which, now that I said it, was a rather obvious statement. I ducked under a swing from Big Green’s bat, then hopped back a few steps until I was closer to the back lines. A grenoil behind me was swinging a chain around, which just seemed terribly dangerous. I knew how painful a whap with a flail could be from my time in Threewells.I heard the crunch of gravel shifting as the grenoil behind me stepped up, so I hopped up and kicked back with both legs, catching him in the shin.The grenoil croaked as he stumbled forwards.I handed on my tummy, but had just enough time to spin around and bunch my legs up against my chest so that when the grenoil landed, it was onto my feet. His face was real close to mine for a bit, so I got a nasty faceful of alcohol-smelling breath. “Ew,” I said a moment before pushing a hefty chunk of stamina into my legs.The grenoil went flying away until he crashed back-first into a buddy and they went down in a heap.I didn’t have time to enjoy my victory before another was jumping towards me, knife-first.I rolled over, picked up my spade and bounced to my feet just in time to parry a swing with the haft. There were so many of them! And they weren’t being nice and taking turns either.The man, an actual human in dirty rags, probably thought I was gonna back up to make space. So he didn’t expect it when I reached up, held on to the rim of my hat, bent my bun ears back, and rammed his nose with my forehead as hard as I could.The poor man went down with a very smushed nose. “Sorry!” I said a moment before I had to dodge to the side as another grenoil came at me with a bat.I blocked his second swing, both hands on the shaft of my spade, but the impact and shaking made me lose my grip on my weapon.I watched my spade clatter to the ground and the grenoil grinned at me. He started to pull his bat back. I slapped him full-on in the face so hard that his face twisted to the side and my entire hand felt like I’d pressed it to a stove.Two more were moving at me, with knives and clubs, and I heard more moving in from behind. I jumped, used one of their heads as a springboard, then skipped off the walls of a shop to land back down behind the bulk of the group. I had my back near one of the rusty lamp posts along the side of the street. It would maybe keep them from hitting me from behind... I hopped.“Get her, dammit!” Big Green roared.Lightning shot out of the shop, nailing one of the humans in the chest and sending him down in a writhing heap. “And someone kill those two!” the man screamed.Then a couple of grenoil pulled up little crossbows and fired into the shop. I heard Amaryllis squawking in protest as she no doubt ducked out of the way.I looked around. I was down a spade and the only other weapons I had were in my pack.A grenoil tried to sneak up behind me, but I caught sight of him from the corner of my eye. With a quick half-twist and a snap-kick, I rammed the sole of a foot against the lamp.The rusty base snapped and the two-meter long pole crashed onto the grenoil’s head.That... looked like a weapon to me.I spun backwards, grabbed onto the shaft of the lamp with both hands, and brought it up and around to face off against the greater number of adversaries. Some of those I’d knocked down earlier were back on their feet, and they didn’t look very happy. “Come on guys,” I said. “Can’t we talk this out?” “I heard they love Buns at the brothels,” one of the men said. “I wonder how much you’d go for.”Lucky for me, he was one of the closer ones, and he was so busy being a big mean jerk that he didn’t react in time to stop the heavy twin-lamped end of the pole from crashing onto his head with a resounding clang and a shattering of glass. Another grenoil rushed at me, so I twisted the lamp around and poked it at his head so that his neck was caught between the two lights at the end. He made a weird sound when his mouth smashed into the bar joining the two lights, and an ever stranger one when I pulled him towards me and delivered a stamina-heavy Spartan-kick to his tummy. I yanked the pole back, then spun the base around in a wide, sweeping arc that had the other thugs backing off a step or two. I counted eight left around me, and three more farther away flinging magic and bolts into the shop.Amaryllis must have gotten tired of ducking because the next thing I knew a deafening boom shook the street and forks of lightning that were as big around as tree trunks flashed into being, each one connecting to different parts of grenoil across the street.The three ranged thugs went down as smoking heaps. I’d need to check on them later, but Amaryllis’ move reminded me of something. I had magic too.Grinning, I pushed mana into my hands and saw them start to glow. The extra magic interacted weirdly with the aura of my Cleaning spell, making a bubble around me start to glow with little motes of happy light.“Oh World,” one of the thugs whispered.Then I started thinking hot thoughts and suddenly everything was a lot warmer and a haze of fiery mana started to make the air shift around me.The thugs didn’t seem so sure anymore.Big Green, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care. “Are you lot cowards? Zis is just some uptight rich girl,” he said.“Actually, I’m pretty sure my family was always in a lower tax bracket,” I corrected him.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.He moved towards me, so I flung my lamp at him as hard as I could and watched him catch the pole awkwardly in the crook of his elbows.While he stumbled back a step, I ran over to the nearest thug, wrapped a hand around his where he was holding a knife and pulled him closer so that my knee could get better acquainted with the spot between his legs where those safety courses told girls to hit bad guys.The man crumbled with a wheeze. I swung my fists forwards in a quick one-two jab towards the next two, sending two tiny and rather lame fireballs at them.One of them batted his out of the air with a club, but the other caught the fireball full on in the chest. His raggedy jacket went up in a burst of flames that smelled vaguely like fish oil. I gasped as the thug screamed and twisted around, working hard to take off his coat while also flailing.“Stop, drop and roll!” I screamed, but I didn’t think he heard me over his own cries of alarm.The thugs looked real nervous now. Maybe I was doing a good enough job that they’d cut their losses and run? Some of them certainly seemed to be thinking about it.“You’re still not done?” Amaryllis asked.A few heads turned towards the shop where my harpy friend stomped out. Her feathers were well and truly poofed, and little snaps of static were going off in the air around her. I could almost smell the weird tang of electrified air from where I was.“There are a lot of them,” I said. “And I don’t want to hurt them too much.”“Oh? Don’t worry. I can hurt them for you!” I saw a pair of grenoil, younger ones off to the side who had been skirting the fight more than anything, start to edge away. When Awen burst out of the shop, shards of glass spinning in the air around her and crossbow primed, they turned heel and ran.“Awen?” I asked.“Awa, I figured out some Glass magic!” she said from within her teeny tiny blizzard. It wasn’t that big, maybe two dozen pieces of glass all spinning rather lazily and wibbly around her, but it was still kind of impressive. I looked at the thugs, and felt that the odds were a bit better now. A lot more of them looked nervous too. “You guys can still run, you know?” I said. “Um, it would probably be best before Cholondee comes. She’s a dragon, and dragons are a bit weird about eating people that slight them.”“Just, shut up!” Big Green said as he leapt for me.A bolt of electricity connected with his back, and a glass-tipped bolt speared through his leg. The grenoil, already moving forwards, crashed face-first into my heel as I spun into a tight heel-strike.He crashed to the ground like a particularly lumpy sack of potatoes.His buddies ran, some of them saying some very rude things as they decided that a life of crime wasn’t for them. At least, that’s what I hoped. They at least paused to pick up their buddies that had been knocked around a bit, all save for Big Green who was left on the ground where he groaned into the cobbles.“Should we finish him off?” Amaryllis asked.“Amaryllis!” I gasped.“What? The least he can do is give us a bit of experience.”I frowned at my friend until she rolled her eyes and looked away. “I was kidding... mostly. This bag of dirt has cost us a quarter hour already, and could have hurt you, or any of us. He can at least have the courtesy to answer some questions.”Amaryllis pushed Big Green over with the top of a talon until the grenoil was resting on his back, right next to the lip of the sidewalk. “I’m not, I’m not telling ya anyzing,” he spat.“Come now, just a few little questions,” Amaryllis said. “Awa, my, my uncle told me stories about how he got some bad people to talk, um, maybe I could try what he told me,” Awen said.That sounded way better than whatever Amaryllis had in mind. “Sure! I’d love to see you try,” I said.Awen flushed and moved closer to the big grenoil before dropping onto her knees next to him. “Um, are you okay?” she asked the guy.“Screw you, human,” he said.These thugs were so rude. Were they raised... I looked around and let the thought drop. Awen, in the meantime, opened up her little shoulder bag and pulled out a pair of pliers. She set them on the ground next to her.“You think you can torture me, girl?” Next, she pulled out some screw-drivers.“I’m not telling any of ya nothing.”Awen placed her heavy hammer next to the pliers. “It would be nice if you did talk,” she said. “Then we could give you a potion and you could leave us all alone.”“When my damned coward boys come back, I’m gonna teach all of you a lesson!” Awen sighed and reached into her bag. She grabbed something, looked down, then shrugged and placed it next to her hammer.The wand of cure hysteria stood tall and proud next to Awen’s other tools. It was pretty big. I was surprised it even fit in her bag.“I... I... what are you going to do with that?!” Big Green asked.Blinking, Awen picked up the wand. “This?” She obviously pushed some magic into it because it started to humm as it vibrated.“I’ll talk! I’ll talk!”I looked to the side where Amaryllis had her face covered by her arm feathers. The poor thing, for all her bravado she couldn’t look at someone being tortured, even if it was clear that Awen wouldn’t actually do anything.“So, mister Big Green,” I said in as intimidating a voice as I could manage. I pointed to him. “Why were you so mean earlier?”“I, I can’t say,” he said.Awen’s wand buzzed louder.“Rainnewt! It was Rainnewt!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three — An Old Name
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three — An Old Name “Awa... who?” Awen asked.I scratched the edge of my nose. “Rainnewt was a guy who worked for the Exploration Guild over here. He ran away after setting up me and Amaryllis to be kidnapped by some very rude deer people.”“I think they were aiming for me,” Amaryllis said. She bent down closer to Big Green. “Tell us about Rainnewt,” she demanded.Big Green shook his head. “I can’t. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill all of you. I’ve never seen a sylph zat was zat scary.”“A sylph?” I asked. Rainnewt was a handsome older man, not a sylph. “Can you describe him, please?”Big Green shook his head until Awen waved her wand in his direction. “S-small! With wings and mean eyes. Brown hair?”I nodded while eyeing the wand. “Why is he so nervous about that thing?” I asked.“Awa, I think maybe he has hysteria and wants to keep it?” Awen wondered.“I... guess. That doesn’t seem healthy. Why would you want to keep that?” I tried to wipe my frown and smiled at Big Green. “Are you sure you don’t want my friend to poke you with her wand?”“Don’t touch me!” Big Green shouted.I raised my hands before me, palms out in surrender. “Alright, alright.” I was about to ask the girls if we should call the guard when Big Green leapt to his feet with surprising spryness, shoved me back a startled step, then started running towards the nearest alley.Amaryllis brought up a crackling hand, and Awen pulled her crossbow up and around, the glassy tip of a bolt pointing at the grenoil’s back.“No!” I said.My friends looked my way and I winced.“I mean. Don’t hit him from behind like that.”“Broccoli, he ambushed us. Did you hear some of the things his goons were saying?” Amaryllis still lowered her hand as Big Green spun around the corner, the pitter-patter of his boots echoing out for a few moments. “Your bleeding heart will be a serious problem one of these days,” she said.“Ah, I’m sorry?” I said. They had been pretty bad. But to hit someone from behind like that was... wrong. “We should still report everything to the guards.”“The same guards who are in the pockets of the Morepoles?” She gestured at the street which was in a bit of a state. “The same guards who will probably arrest us for the mess we’ve made? Do you intend to spend the night behind bars?”“Awa, maybe we should go?” Awen asked. She dropped to her knees and started tossing her things into her shoulder bag.I nodded. “Yeah, okay. We can go. We still need to talk to these mob boss people, and then... that thing with Rainnewt, I’m not the only one that thinks that’s suspicious, right?”“You’re not,” Amaryllis agreed. “The Rainnewt are an important Sylph family. I never made the connection with Mister Rainnewt because he’s, well, he was, a human.”“Could he be a shapeshifter?” I asked.“If he is, then why not change his name?” Amaryllis wondered. “It’s possible, but it sounds like a needless risk. Then again, his plan to kidnap me was hardly well-thought-out.”“It nearly worked,” I pointed out.She huffed. “I’d have gotten out.”The moment Awen was ready to move, we started heading away from the crime scene. I felt a bit guilty, but Amaryllis was usually right about things like guards and such-like. “So, there’s a second person causing trouble called Rainnewt. It could be a total coincidence.”“Yes, and I’m actually a shape-shifting mermaid,” Amaryllis said. I stared at her until she whapped me behind the head. “I’m not, you moron.”“Right, right. You don’t smell fishy enough for that. So it’s probably not a coincidence. Still doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t he use a different identity, like in a spy movie?”“A spy movie? One of those plays from your world?” I nodded. “There are lots with characters who spy on each other, or go on cool missions with neat disguises. They usually change their name if they’re going to work so hard to look like someone else.”“Awa, it could be a sign?” Awen asked. “Like, um, a label so that people can trace things back to him?”“I guess,” I said. “Sounds like it would just make things harder for him.”We slipped into an alley, then out the other end just as people were starting to poke their heads out of windows and step out of the shops lining the road. There had probably been dozens of witnesses. That might bite us in the bum later, my friends and I were rather distinct. We speculated a bit more on the subject of Rainnewt, but in reality we were going in circles. The moment we arrived at the far end of the Scumways, the discussion dropped though. There was a distinct shift in the style of the homes here. For one, there were a far fewer wooden buildings with moldy walls, and a lot more stone homes. Small, but in that humble sort of way that well-cared for homes were. And then the main street opened up to a large courtyard with a nice fountain and a house that was just shy of being a mansion behind it. It wasn’t anywhere near as big as Awen’s home, but it was lavishly decorated, with statues along the front, and a well-manicured garden around an oval entranceway. It would have been a lot nicer if there weren’t about thirty people gathering around the front of the building. For the most part, the eclectic mix of grenoil, humans, harpy and a few sylphs were all well-dressed. Pressed suits, nice hats and sleek black canes. But the way they held themselves screamed ‘Bond-villain goon’ more than ‘stately gentleman.’ In the middle of this group was an elderly grenoil man sitting on a wheelchair. He was wearing a very comfortable looking red sweater vest and had a blanket over his legs and a sunhat plopped atop his head. Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“So, that’s where he ran off to,” Amaryllis said.I followed her gaze to a Big Green who was kneeling next to the old grenoil and talking really fast.The old grenoil reached a hand out to one of his goons who passed him a nice cane. Then he smacked Big Green on the head with a dull ‘whap.’“Shush now, you oaf. Can’t you see zat zose girls you attacked are here now,” the older grenoil gentleman said. His voice was gravelling and rough, like the rumble of a distant millstone. I eyed my friends from the corner of my eyes. Those were a lot of possibly bad guys, and these didn’t look like street thugs. Sure, they were only armed with canes, but I didn’t doubt that fighting them would be a whole lot different to fighting those thugs earlier.“Oh, don’t be afraid, bun, I haven’t bitten anyone in some time. Come in. I would offer you guest rights, but doing so to someone you don’t know isn’t terribly wise.”I stepped up and into the courtyard, shoes sinking just a little into the soft grass until I was standing just a few meters away from the old grenoil who smiled up at me. So I smiled back. “Hi! My name is Broccoli Bunch, these are my best friends, Awen Bristlecone and Amaryllis Albatross.”The grenoil nodded. “I’m don Grenouille,” he said. “Now zat we’ve gotten ze pleasantries out of the way, would you mind explaining to me why you have beaten and injured so many of ze people in my employ?”I blinked. “First, the pleasantries haven’t even begun. We didn’t even get to the tea yet. And second, they attacked us first.”The grenoil croaked a laugh. “I see, I see. Well zen, perhaps some of my boys here will be so kind as to fetch us some chairs and perhaps a tea set?”A few of the goons bowed and ran off. “While they fetch that... you claim zat you were assaulted first?” he asked.I nodded.“It’s, it’s not true, don Grenouille,” Big Green said. “Zey came onto our turf and ze-”The don whapped the big grenoil on the head with his cane again. “Shush, you. Ze young lady was talking.”I held back a very inappropriate giggle. “Ah, yeah. We were on our way here, actually, when Big Green blocked our path, and then he and a bunch of others tried to capture us. They said some very mean things too.”“Hrm,” the old grenoil said. “Let’s set zat aside for ze moment. Ze issue is complicated somewhat by you being on our territory without permission. Zough, as ze saying goes, might makes right. You are obviously in ze right in zis situation as you won ze ensuing fight.”That... was so wrong. At the same time, if the old grenoil wanted to let bygones stay that way, I was okay with it, for now.“Now, you mentioned zat you were on your way here? I doubt it was to enjoy ze comforts of my gardens.”I looked around at all the pretty flowers and the well-trimmed hedges. “It’s not for that, no, but you do have a very nice garden,” I said. “I have the gardening skill, though it’s not at a very high level. Yours must be really good if you can keep so many flowers in a place like this.”Don Grenouille grinned. “Why zank you.”“Ah, but you’re right. We’re actually here because of a bit of a problem we had. See, one of our friends owned a nice little bookshop in Port Royal, and she lost it because she couldn’t meet your security payments.”Don Grenouille tapped his cane on the ground. “Are you speaking of miss Booksie?”“That’s her,” I said.“We offered her ozer ways to pay off ze debt,” he said.“A debt that should never have existed and which was little more than extortion,” Amaryllis said.The air grew thicker, but we were saved by some goon arriving to deposit a table and some chairs next to us. One of them placed a nice tea set on the table before stepping back.I moved to the set and started preparing a few cups. There was a kettle that was already filled with boiling water, and a few little jars of honey and sugar and a cup of cream. “How do you like your tea, Don Grenouille?” I asked.“Straight,” he said.I mixed in the leaves and made sure everything was just right before pouring him a cup. Then I prepared cups for my friends. Awen liked hers with lots of honey, and Amaryllis liked a splash of cream in hers.I liked mine with honey, sugar, and cream.Don Grenouille waited until we were all sat before taking a sip from his cup.His eyes widened. “I have the tea making skill,” I said before taking a sip of my own. The Don was watching me strangely as I drank. “Ah, this is pretty nice.” I waited a moment before continuing. “So yeah, if you really were extorting our friend, that needs to stop. It’s not nice at all to do that to someone. You really hurt Booksie when you made her lose her shop.”“I’m afraid you don’t seem to understand how zese zings work,” Don Grenouile said. “In zis city, if you expect to have ze protection of ze Morepoles, zen you need to pay.”“But protection from what?” I asked. “No offense Don Grenouille-and I do have the utmost respect for you and your cool hat-but rackets like that just aren’t very neighbourly.”“Don’t bother, Broccoli, these sorts don’t understand decency. Just look at how they play dress up and try to hide behind an image of nobility. It’s really quite sad,” Amaryllis said.I wanted to press my hands over my face. Amaryllis really was keen on insulting everyone she met.Don Grenouille’s face was going a nasty shade of red, and all the goons around us seemed ready to fight.And then Cholondee landed on the fountain.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four — Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Four — Say Hello to My Not-So-Little Friend “Oh boy,” I whispered. There were a lot of things that could go wrong.Honestly, most of those things had really negative consequences for the mafia people, more than anyone else, but I didn’t want to see my new friend eating people, not even criminals. And then I had to consider whether or not my friends and I would be caught in the crossfire. I would have to do my best to keep everything nice and civil! The problem was, I had no idea what to do. This entire thing would end in disaster. My friends, as awesome as they were, weren’t equipped to deal with this. Awen was a bit shy, and Amaryllis was a bit... a lot rude. She’d make things worse. I closed my eyes for a moment and asked myself a vital question. What would Abraham do?I coughed to clear my throat. “Hello Cholondee. You’re just in time, there’s some tea left.”The dragoness turned her head my way, something that had fedora-wearing goons toppling over themselves to get out of the way. Her long spiney back-sail perked up the same way that my ears did, but cooler. “You have tea?” she asked.The dragon eyed the still steaming kettle on the little table, the kettle that was smaller than... literally any one of her body parts. “I’m certain Don Grenouille wouldn’t mind fetching a larger kettle. Or maybe a pot.”“Ah,” the old grenoil said.“See,” I said. Then, even though it was a little rude, I pointed to some of the goons who flinched back as if my finger were a primed pistol. “You and you. Go put some water to boil. And please do so quickly, leaving a guest waiting is wrong.”“Ah, you’re under guest rights,” Cholondee asked as she wiggled a claw to get some of the fountain that got caught there out.“Actually, Don Grenouille didn’t want to extend those,” I said. “He did provide tea!”“I-I can extend zem!” the Don said, the first time he spoke since Cholondee arrived.“No, I think we’re fine as we are,” Amaryllis said.I wasn’t entirely sure what guest rights were, or how they were important, but I had the impression that Don Grenouille had maybe made a bit of a misstep there, and that Amaryllis was really enjoying the fact.“Huh. Well, whatever. So what’s going on? Did we find the jerks who were messing with my brother’s girlfriend?”I nodded, then gestured to the very pale Don. “Yeah. These are the ones that messed with Booksie’s shop. They don’t seem all that bad. Though, uh,” I looked to Big Green. “They did ambush and try to kidnap us earlier. I’m not saying they’re evil or anything, but kidnapping is usually a bad thing. Um... depending on the circumstances.”Awen was a special case, of course. Kidnapping in the name of friendship was alright.Cholondee eyed the nearest gangster who raised his cane as if that would do anything. “It is around breakfast time,” she said.“We had breakfast,” I pointed out.“Second breakfast. I’m hungry. And also a dragon.”I bit my lower lip. “Wait!” Cholondee looked my way. So did a bunch of the goons. “We, uh, still have questions for them.”“Right, right, can’t do that if they’re eaten,” the dragon agreed. “Well, get asking.”I nodded really fast, turned towards the Don who didn’t look so confident and scary in his wheelchair anymore, and then blanked on what sort of question I could ask.“Awa,” Awen came to the rescue. “Don Grenouille, do you know a Mister Rainnewt?” The Don nodded quickly, sunhat bobbing with the motions. “Of course, of course, he’s a distinguished Sylph who came into our employ a week ago. Very sharp.”I shot Awen a thankful smile. “What kind of work did he do for you? And, um, did he usually ask people like Big Green there to attack girls off the street? Because I really hope that’s not a common occurrence.”“No, nothing like zat,” the Don said. “Rainnewt... ah, zis isn’t information zat should be aired so openly.”“So, Cholondee, do you breathe fire, or is your breath something else?” Amaryllis asked.“Oh, I’m like my mom,” Cholondee said, the pride evident in her voice. “My spit is super corrosive. It’ll melt through metal like fire on snow. But with some magic I can turn it into a sort of misty poison. I’ve killed entire flocks of sheep with it!”“Of course, information should be shared,” the Don said. “Ah, we were hired by Rainnewt. He needed ze help of some of our better, more experienced members to assist him wiz a few heists. Zey were all simple zings, but carried out very well. He even shared ze profits wiz us. And zen zere was a larger attack on one of ze smaller mansions just a few days ago. We helped him rob and kidnap a diplomat.”“A diplomat?” Amaryllis asked. “From where?”“A cervid diplomat. He was here to meet wiz a mixed group from, ah, Deepmarsh and Mattergrove. About the cervid crossing the Deepmarsh border.”Amaryllis stood a little taller, her brows joining together. “Tell me everything you can about the crime.”“Ah, I don't know all ze details. Rainnewt asked for ze assistance from a few of our members. All ze harpy and human members we had. Zere was some climbing involved.”“Oh, world,” Amaryllis muttered. “What about the other heists? Who was targeted?”The Don looked somewhere between confused and irritated now. You could only spend so much time worried about the dragon in the courtyard, after all. “I don’t know all ze details. Mostly nobles. Mostly from out of ze city.”“So not just grenoil nobles, then?”“No, some harpy, some humans. Anyone wiz lots of coin.”I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but a glance at Cholondee showed her paying rapt attention. “This is intriguing, just like in one of my books,” she whispered to me. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.“I guess so,” I said to her. “Um. Do you know where Rainnewt is?” I asked.Amaryllis snorted. “Probably leagues away. This is quickly turning from an adventure trying to prevent dragons from eating everyone to something a whole lot worse.” She stood up and off of her chair. “We need to go. I have some letters to send. And we should talk to the director of the local Exploration Guild. We need to get news out.”“We haven’t even figured out how Rainnewt changed species yet,” I said.“That doesn’t matter. A magic item, some illusion magic, two agents with the same code-name.” Amaryllis waved a wing dismissively. “What matters is fixing the mess they’ve caused before this turns into a full-on war.”I blinked. “A war?” I asked.“A war?” Cholondee repeated, far more excited by the idea. “Obviously. Trying to kidnap me while making it look like the United Republic of the Trenten Flats is to blame, then kidnapping a cervid diplomat trying to clear up the issue, and making it look like either the harpy or humans did it. No doubt he’s been busy causing all sorts of other problems that haven’t surfaced yet because no one is paying any attention. Tensions have been running high between the Sylphs and Harpy for centuries, but other than some skirmishes it’s never broken out into a full-on war.”“So, what, he’s trying to get Deepmarsh and the Trenten cervid to go to war so that the harpy can’t call on them to help?” I asked. It made sense. If you were going to bully someone-which would be a terrible awful thing to do-then taking their friends out of the equation first just made sense.Amaryllis waved her wings about in a gesture that could mean anything. “Maybe. I don’t know. It could be for something else. That’s why we need to head out and tell the right people. The more people in charge who are aware that a conspiracy is afoot, the better.”“Oh, now there are conspiracies,” Cholondee said. “This is exciting.” She reached out and grabbed a nearby grenoil with the tip of her claws. The man started squirming and screaming.“What are you doing?” I asked.“Mid-entertainment snack,” Cholondee said.“No, no!” I waved my arms around. “If you eat them all you’ll, uh.”“Not be hungry?” I blanked for a good long moment. Then an idea struck me like one of Amaryllis’ lightning bolts. “If you start eating the goons, they’ll never respect you as their leader.”Cholondee paused. The goons paused. Even the one in her claws stopped screaming. “Th-think about it! There’s a bunch of things going on, the Morepoles are going to be in a whole heap of trouble, and they totally owe you for messing with your brother’s maybe-girlfriend’s shop. So you can take them over. The Don can teach you how to run the mafia, and you can turn it into a much better, nicer organization. No more rackets and stealing and such.”“That sounds like a lot of work,” Cholondee said.“I mean, it kind of is, but look at the slums. You could make them way better, and then they’d all really appreciate you. And, um, that’s worth more than a lot of gold, isn’t it?”I could see that I was almost onto her, but not quite.“And think of the hats! No, wait, that’s a bit silly. I mean, you would look really good in a cool hat, but that’s not a reason to take over the mafia.” I waved my hand around as if beating away a bad smell. “Think of the opportunity to, to... improve others. And command all of these people that just need a bright, strong leader like you. When people ask them ‘what are you’ it won’t just be ‘I’m a grenoil’ it’ll be ‘I’m a grenoil that works for the best dragon.’”Cholondee was nodding really slowly. “I like it,” she said. “I could become the queen of the... what’s this place called?” she asked the Don.“Ze Scumways?”“Oh, yuck. No, we’d need to rename it to something better.”I sighed. She wasn’t going to eat anyone. That was great. Now she was just going to be the dragon queen of the underworld. Which...Amaryllis was staring at me with a very flat expression. “Have I told you that you’re an idiot today?”“I think so?” “Ah, then perhaps moron? Fool? Halfwit? I’m also partial to dunce.”I tried a smile. “At least no one died?”“So, how does this mafia thing work?” Cholondee asked. “When do we kidnap princesses and take the nobles’ gold?”I tried not to crumble. “It’s more complicated than that,” I said. “You know what. You should work with Booksie. She’s nice. Real nice. And she can teach you all there is to know about, uh, this stuff. I’m sure people would respect you a lot more if they thought of you as a protector and friend than as a greedy dragon.”“I can be a protector. And also a dragon,” Cholondee said. “Yes. This seems fun. I also get to play dress-up with all of these little people, right? I think their uniforms are drab and boring.”“Sure,” I said. “Just... please take your time. You’re a dragon, you should do your best to be the best, and the best wouldn’t eat anyone. In fact, I’m sure that none of the other Dons eat their goons, right?” I asked the last while looking to Don Grenouille. Or maybe it was now former Don Grenouille. “Zat’s right.”“Aww,” Cholondee said. “Wait, does that mean I’m now Don Cholondee?”“Yes,” I said.The dragon grinned, some of the goons fainted. “I should tell my brother!” She raised her wings high above, then took off with a burst of wind that threw our tea table aside.The goons I’d sent to fetch a pot of boiling water walked back just in time to see the dragon leaving.There was a nice, long moment of quiet after that.“Right, well,” I said. “I think our business here is done.” I smoothed down the front of my skirts, then bowed to Don Grenouille. “Thanks for having us, and thanks for the tea. We’ll be going now.”I grabbed my friends and moved the heck out of the courtyard. Surprisingly, no one tried to stop us.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Five — Bad Implications
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Five — Bad Implications Amaryllis was in a talkative mood. I knew this because she was talking a whole lot while walking out ahead of us. “I would usually just gloss over this situation,” Amaryllis said. “But obviously you know nothing so it’s up to me to fill in the blanks. Honestly I... might have been a little lax in doing my part to educate you, Broccoli. I’m sorry.”“It’s okay?” I said as I almost jogged to keep up. Awen, whose legs were a bit shorter, was in that awkward position where she wasn’t quite walking fast, nor was she jogging outright. “It isn’t!” Amaryllis declared. “But it’s an issue I can correct right away.”“Okay?”Amaryllis nodded, head bobbing up and down like one of those little plastic bird things. “I’ll start at the start,” she said. “There are five nations on the continent that matter.” She looked to Awen. “Six, if you decide to be generous and count Mattergrove.”That sounded a little rude, but alright. Mattergrove was pretty small on the map I’d seen.“The Snowlands, who are mostly uninvolved in geopolitics. The Nesting Kingdom, which is more of a clan-based elective republic with a token monarchy, but that’s unimportant. The kingdom of Sylphfree. The United Republic of the Trenten Flats, which is neither united nor a republic. The Kingdom of Deepmarsh, and the Kingdom of Mattergrove.”I nodded along. “What about the Ostri people?” Amaryllis waved her wings in a dismissive way. I was really getting good at harpy body language. “They don’t have kings, mayors, elected officials, or clan leaders. They literally have no governmental apparatus, which coupled with their abnormally high average level has kept them safe from most political conflicts.”“Cool,” I said.“They don’t matter. I want you to understand the current conflict even if it means pecking the information into that thick skull of yours.” Amaryllis straightened. “The Nesting Kingdom has grown to have the most powerful airforce, but we are still, for the most part, stuck on a small number of mountaintops near the centre of the continent.”“Okay,” I said.“The Sylphfree and the Nesting Kingdom have been at each other's throats for centuries. We both claimed the same mountaintop. The Golden Peak. And when we both discovered that the name was rather literal a war broke out. Then another, then another. It’s almost a formality that we’ll go to war once every few decades over control over the mountain. We’ve even become rather civil about it. Even if we hate each other.”“Can’t you just split the territory in half?” I asked.“Who would get the bigger half? Or the half with the more mines?” She shook her head. “It’s a lot of arguing and politicking with very little action. The mountain is basically untouched though, on account of both sides destroying any settlements or camps on it.”“That's awful,” I said. I found Orange walking next to me and picked her up for the purpose of hugging the awful away.“It is what it is.” She went on. “Other than that, the Sylphfree are nearly untouchable. They have excellent banking systems and are doubtlessly the richest nation on the continent. Coupled with their advanced healers and heavily-militarized government, no one has really succeeded in making them budge.”We reached the exit of the Scumways and walked right past a cabal of guards without so much as slowing down. Maybe that thing about walking with confidence was true, because none of them tried to stop us.“Then you have the Trenten Flats. Huge, expansionist, aggressive. They’re backwards and barbaric at the best of times, but they’re large, numerous, and have a lot of resources to throw at any problem.”I nodded along, even if I found her description to be a bit... rude.“And finally Deepmarsh. It’s relatively small, not too populous, but fairly advanced. They actually have very decent mages here. They’re not terribly keen on moving outside of their little deltas though.”“And Mattergrove?” I asked with a glance towards Awen.“Awa, we, we’re very small,” Awen said. “And, um, we don’t really matter all that much.”“I... don’t exactly agree,” Amaryllis said. “Mattergrove matters if only because they’re on the far westernside of the continent and they do have something of a standing army. It’s small and pathetic, but it exists. If things go sideways then having an unaligned nation at the Nesting Kingdom or Deepmarsh’s back could be dangerous.”“Right, okay, I think I get it,” I said.“I truly doubt that,” Amaryllis said. She huffed her ‘but I must go on’ huff. “When the cervid tried to kidnap me I suspected a Trenten plot. Had that gone off, it would have ratcheted up tensions between the Trenten Flats and both Deepmarsh and the Nesting Kingdom. Now it looks like it was a Sylph plot to get those three nations at each other's throats.”“But we don’t know-know that,” I said. “We just suspect it because of Rainnewt.”“Exactly,” Amaryllis said. “Which means that someone, probably not a single actor like Rainnewt but either a country or organization, is trying to start a large-scale conflict.”I licked my lips. “That’s not good.”“Your gift for moronic understatements is as sharp as ever,” Amaryllis said.“Well, I never liked politics and such, they always seemed like more trouble than they’re worth.”Amaryllis wobbled her head from side to side. “I suppose I can’t fault you for that. The point of it all though, is that there’s obviously something strange going on, and if we don’t put a stop to it, it could mean trouble for just about everyone. Another war sparked between the Nesting Kingdom and the Sylphfree would be bad enough, but if the Trenten Flats pick a side, and Deepmarsh join in, then it could be a near global war.”If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“A world war,” I said.“I suppose you could call it that,” she said. “Though I doubt the Pyrowalkians would join in, and the Snowlanders are as isolationist as it gets. It would take a lot to get them to move. The Kingdom of the Endless Swells... they’re barely a kingdom at all, more a collection or small nation-states loosely held together by a rivalry with the Pyrowalkians.”“Awa, I don’t think it would come to that, right?”I smiled over at Awen, but I don’t think it was my nicest smile. History class was always kind of neat at school, but they would always go on and on about boring stuff instead of the big cool things. I did like the stuff about the battles and the intrigue, but they were far and few in between. “I don’t want to say it can’t happen,” I said. “Because it might.” I tightened my fists by my side and glared at the horizon I could see over the nearest buildings. “But we’ll do our darndest to stop that from happening, right?” I asked.“Obviously,” Amaryllis said. “War isn’t good for business, not when you own the factories that would get spelled out of existence first.”“Awa, I, I don’t think even uncle Abraham has stopped a war before. I’m, I’m in, Broccoli! I’ll be by your side, forever.”“Alright!” I cheered. “Let’s go stop a war!” I paused. “Amaryllis, how do we stop a war?”My birdy friend sighed. “First, we’re going to stop by the Exploration Guild here. The director might know something. Then I’m going to be sending a few letters to my family. My sisters and mother are better equipped for handling this kind of thing.”“Okay, neat,” I said. “And then?”She frowned at me. “And then what?”“Yeah, exactly, and then what?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “And then we’ll have done our part.”“Awa, that’s a bit... anticlimactic.”I nodded. “That’s not as cool as I thought it would be,” I said.“What, did you expect to have to sneak into the king’s palace to deliver a history changing letter while being hounded by assassins like in some drama play?” Amaryllis asked.I looked the other way. “I choose to exercise my right to remain unembarrassed.”“You moron.” Amaryllis slowed down a little when we reached the Guild row and had to climb up a steep slope. “We might stop there later,” she said with a gesture towards the strange, stubby Messenger’s guild with its neat poles sticking out of the roof with moving panels. “Can’t your bank ring send letters to people?” I asked.“It can send letters to my account, where a clerk will then take it and place it in my family’s vault. Or that of a family member. But sending letters like that only works if the person to whom you’re sending the letter has an account with that bank. Otherwise the Messenger Guild interferes. They don’t appreciate the competition already.”Amaryllis actually stopped talking for a little bit because the climb was rather steep and that made breathing hard. She even flapped her wings a few times to skip ahead. When we got to the Exploration Guild and pushed past the familiar double doors at the front, it was to find a decent-sized group within, one that I recognized almost right away. Five grenoil, all of them in leathers, all of them with bandoleers over their chests. At their head was the handsome Emeric, with his two swords hanging by his hips, and I saw Pierre leaning against a far wall. Arianne was in her almost-mage garb, with a serious-faced Valerie next to her. And standing a bit behind Emeric was a nervous Donat, the grenoil having changed out of the kinda-crappy armour I’d seen him in all those weeks ago.The group were all standing back to the door, their attention on the squat figure of director Mathilde. “I know these people,” I told my friends. “Awa, are they friends?” I nodded. “They kind of are,” I said. I couldn’t help the grin that slipped on. It was always super cool to meet old friends again. And these were friends that I hadn’t seen since... since I’d left Threewells. Was that only two weeks ago? A bit more? “Hello!” I called out while raising a hand to wave.I had forgotten how scary the director looked when she wasn’t in a good mood, and I had never seen her in a good mood.There was suddenly a lot of attention directed my way, but out of all the grenoil looking my way, Arianne was the first to react. “Broccoli?” she asked.“That’s me,” I said.Emeric grinned my way. “Well well, you actually made it to civilization alive. Ze world isn’t so terrible a place after all.”“I did,” I said. “And I joined the guild too.” I poked a thumb at the pin on my bandoleer. “And I even have a party now!” “I can see zat,” he said. “We will have to go for drinks later, and you can tell us about your adventure. We just arrived, we need to debrief.” His smile turned a little wry.“Ah, that’s okay,” I said.“Actually, it’s not,” Amaryllis interjected. “Director, we have some news. It’s urgent.”“I can imagine,” the director said. She sounded about as amused as she looked. “Is that young lady next to you the missing-and-presumed-kidnapped Awen Bristlecone?” she asked.“Awa, no, no that’s not me,” Awen said. Then she wilted as the director’s gaze turned onto her.“It’s not kidnapping if you have permission,” I said.The director turned her glare onto me. “I would love to see you arguing that in court, young lady.”I swallowed, but I wasn’t going to let some rude old lady ruin my mood with threats of imprisonment. “We just came here to report some things,” I said. “It’s important.”“Our news is important too,” Emeric said. “And wiz ze dragons in ze city... it seems like today is an exciting day.”“Oh, no, the dragons are with us,” I said. “They’re not the problem.”“You know, for a moment I zought zat maybe I missed ze little brat,” Pierre said. “Now I’m quite sure zat I don’t.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Six — War Talk
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Six — War Talk Mathilde the scary director dragged us to her office. All of us. The fact that there were only two chairs before her desk didn’t seem to bother her at all. She just sat in the big plush chair across a desk that had more square feet than my room back home. She made herself comfortable, crossed her fingers together under her chin in an arch, then looked towards Emeric. “You begin,” she said.Amaryllis, Awen and I stood off to one side while all the members of the grenoil exploration party stood off to the other. Emeric stepped up and gave the director a shallow bow, his hands rubbing over the pommels of his swords.“Do you mind if I give some... perhaps unnecessary details, ma’am, for ze sake of making sure zat we’re all on ze same page?”“I don’t,” the woman said.Emeric nodded his thanks. “On arriving here from our last exploration mission to Threewells, master Leonard left our party in order to more properly investigate ze destruction of ze Threewells dungeon.”I shifted on the spot.The director looked my way like a cat that spotted a laser pointer. “Do you have anything to say, or are you just fidgeting?”“Ah, no?” I tried. “I was, um, just curious about where Leonard was?”“Hmph,” the woman said. “Continue.”“Yes ma’am. So, as I said, we returned and... I zink we just missed Miss Bunch and her friend departing wiz Lord Bristlecone. Zere were a few missions left in ze books, but one caught my eye. I zink you might have read its report already...”“Go over it nonetheless,” Mathilde said.Emeric nodded. “A harpy airship on a return trip to Port Royal noticed a wrecked vessel in ze north of Deepmarsh, or perhaps across ze border into ze Nesting Kingdom. Ze exact location was difficult to pinpoint, but zey reported it anyway. Zen an urgent report came in from Goldenalden about a Sylph ship going missing.”“So we were tasked with exploring the wreck?” the Director said. “I think at your level in the guild you were to figure out how to undertake the mission yourself?”“Yes ma’am,” Emeric said. “We questioned ze captain of ze harpy merchant ship about ze location of ze wreck he had seen, zinking it might have been ze Sylph ship. And when he mentioned returning to Fort Sylphrot, I zought it wise to hire him as transport. Ze idea was to retrace ze path his ship took, and hope zat we would find ze wreck again.”“Clever.”“Zank you, ma’am.” Emeric said. I saw Arianne stand a little taller at the praise. Had it been her idea? “We did find ze ship, ma’am, ze Bronze Falcon was laying at ze base of a large outcropping from one of ze mountains. We marked its location on a map.”The director perked an eyebrow. “I would like to imagine you did more than that.”“Most of my team landed near ze ship. Valerie stayed aboard ze Merchant ship to return to Fort Sylphrot to hire another ship to pick us up in passing. We didn’t know how much time we would spend near ze wreck.”I saw Valerie crossing her arms. She didn’t look too happy about it.“On arriving at ze wreck we had to fight off some mountain meeses.”“At least ze meese meat was nice,” Donat muttered. “Fighting zem wasn’t.”Emeric coughed. “After clearing ze area and giving ze ship a quick examination to find survivors we set up a small camp. Most of ze bodies... ze meese got to zem. But we found some within ze ship itself. It seems like some of ze crew survived ze crash, but were killed soon after. We found... feathers, ma’am. Harpy feathers.”“Harpy are the most adept pilots in the sky, why would that be bizarre?” Amaryllis asked.“Ah, ze crew manifest suggested zat zey were all Sylph. And some of zem died wiz zeir zroats slit.” Emeric sighed. “Ze cargo manifest was also messing some zings. Ze ship had a cargo of documents and some luxury goods destined for ze Sylph embassy in Deepmarsh. Zose were missing. So were some of ze other, more expensive zings in the hold. Ze rest was all cloth and some barrels of alchemical mixtures.”The Director shifted back. “Anything else?”“Yes ma’am. Ze crew’s food, we inspected it, in case we could use ze ship’s pantry to supplement our own supplies if Valerie didn’t return promptly. But ze food, a decent portion of it, was poisoned. I’m unfamiliar with ze exact make-up, but Pierre has a skill zat helps with poisons.”“It was mostly powdered sleep root. Not a poison, exactly,” the ranger said. “But take a bit and you’ll be drowsy. Take a bit for a few days and you’ll be falling asleep in no time. Ze water, wine and flour were all sprinkled wiz ze stuff, so were some of ze ozer foods.”“What did the captain’s log say?” the director asked.“Nozing. It was missing along with some of ze maps and such. I zink zey took zings in a hurry.”Mathilde leaned back. “So a ship carrying important documents from the Kingdom of Sylphfree had its crew poisoned, and was then ransacked. Any signs of a battle?”“A few? Some of ze crew had weapons out. But most perished in ze crash, I zink.”“Hmph. Any signs of hooks or grapples? Maybe some signs that another ship was involved.”“No ma’am.”The director tapped her arched fingers over her mouth. “That doesn’t bode well.”Amaryllis swelled up. “It looks like someone is trying to frame the Nesting Kingdom.”“Trying to frame?” the director repeated. “That’s a strange conclusion to jump to.”“That’s because you’re missing some facts,” Amaryllis said.“In that case, do enlighten me, Miss Albatross.”Amaryllis nodded severely. “I shall. My... party and I have recently returned to Port Royal on business. While investigating something in the Scumways on behalf of a friend, we were ambushed by some low-leveled thugs. Of course we defeated them, and in doing so captured their leader. Awen here tortured some information out of him that I think is quite pertinent.”Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.“Awa, it, it wasn’t actually torture!” Awen defended herself, but no one listened, so I pulled her into a hug.“It turns out that the person who set up the ambush went by the name Rainnewt.”The director sat taller. “The same one who tried to have you kidnapped? Interesting, but I don’t see how this pertains to the situation with the Bronze Falcon.”“I was getting to that,” Amaryllis snapped. “After we finished with the thugs we continued onto the mansion from which the Morepoles operate. We found a grenoil there called Don Grenoiulle, who—after being questioned—admitted to having worked with a Sylph called Rainnewt to kidnap a Cervid diplomat on Rainnewt’s behalf. They also robbed some of the local nobility.”“Rainnewt was very much a human,” the director said.“Yes, I’m certain that the criminal mastermind called Rainnewt who seems keen on kidnapping Harpy nobility is entirely different from the other criminal mastermind called Rainnewt kidnapping cervid nobles,” Amaryllis deadpanned.The director ‘hmphed’ again, but this time it sounded faintly amused. “I suppose that a link wouldn't be hard to make. And you think this is related to the wreck of the Bronze Falcon?”“I’m not saying that for certain,” Amaryllis said. “But I will strongly suggest that you look into who, exactly, issued that mission to find the ship within the Exploration Guild. The way the timing seems laid out...”“It’s possible that it was Rainnewt who set up the mission,” the director finished. She pressed her hands onto her desk and stood up. “I see. Emeric, submit your report to the front desk. Then move your team out to help the city guard with their dragon problem.”“It’s okay!” I said. “Booksie is looking after Rhawrexdee, I’m sure she won’t let him destroy anything... too expensive. And Cholondee is really busy... uh.” I looked away from the director’s flat gaze. “Taking over the city’s underworld,” I muttered.“Wonderful,” she said in a way that implied that it was anything but.I felt my cheeks warming up a little, and Awen’s hand started rubbing my back in little circles.“Miss Albatross, did you have any plans to stay in Port Royal, or were you returning to Mattergrove, no doubt with the young woman that is certainly not the kidnapped heiress of the human kingdom.”Amaryllis raised her head. “I think it would be safer for everyone involved if that kind of information was compartmentalized for now. Though I will be writing to my clan to inform them of what is going on. As things are, I suspect that someone is trying to start a war.”The proclamation made the room go frigid for a moment. The grenoil looked at each other, and I felt myself itching to shift nervously again. Even the director looked unhappy. More so than usual.“The Exploration Guild will also be sending out official documentation pointing out that someone, or someones, have been interfering with international politics in such a way as to ignite some conflicts,” the director said. “War would be bad for everyone’s business.”“Thank you,” Amaryllis said. “On that note, I think we ought to be leaving.” The harpy gestured towards the back of the office.Mathilde looked my way some more, then glanced at Awen for a moment before sighing. “You’re dismissed. Emeric, you and your team as well. I suspect I’ll be quite busy for the next little while, so please try to not do something utterly ridiculous, such as fly into the city on dragon-back.”“Actually, it’s better if you let the dragon carry you. Flying on their backs is hard because of all the spines and... and I’m going now, bye!” I said before skipping out of the room and away from the director’s gaze.“Did you really fly into ze city on a dragon?” Arianne asked as soon as we were all in the corridor out of the director’s office.“No, like I said, we were carried by the dragon.”“And how did you get a dragon to carry you in its arms instead of in its stomach?” Emeric asked.“It was easy,” I said. “We gave it dating advice. And also we had a sleepover.”Donat was staring at us in something that I suspected was awe, but the others were wearing much more incredulous expressions. I don’t think they actually believed me.“Awa, it’s true,” Awen said. “Um, even if it doesn’t sound that way.”“It’s okay!” I said. “So, did you guys have a fun adventure?” I asked.“We did,” Emeric said while Donat shook his head behind him. “The mountains were a bit cold. It’s not that far north, but the altitude will make the air freeze. There’s even smoke when you breathe!”“Vapour, yeah,” I said. “It can be fun! I love the snow.”“You love everything, you dimwit,” Amaryllis said.“Everything deserves to be loved,” I countered with an irrefutable fact.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “I think we skipped the introductions earlier. At least, proper introductions. Broccoli’s idea of a greeting is... well, unique.”I frowned. “I just say hi and ask people to be my friend, what’s wrong with that?”“All of it,” Amaryllis said. “I’m Amaryllis Albatross, of clan Albatross.”“Awa, I’m Awen Bristlecone, and I wasn’t kidnapped.”The grenoil were suddenly paying Awen a lot more attention. “Are you related to Abraham?” Valerie asked.“Aw, yes?” Awen said. “He’s my uncle.”Pierre, usually rather stoic, scoffed at that. “He’s a legend, is what he is. You take after him any? Arianne, what’s her class?”“Pierre, that’s rude,” the mage said. I still saw her eyes dulling for just a moment. She was being sneaky!I didn’t mind though, I was just happy that some old acquaintances were making nice with my new friends!
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Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven — A Poet, and Also a Dragon
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven — A Poet, and Also a Dragon “We should go visit Booksie together!” I declared. The grenoil exploration team looked confused for a moment, so I hastened to fill them in. “She’s a friend of ours, a really nice bun that needed a bit of help. She should be in the East side of Port Royal.”“Ah, yes,” Emeric said. “I suppose we could follow you zere. By ze way... I noticed ze ears earlier... zey weren’t zere when we saw you last, right?”I reached up and squeezed both ears at the base, the part that had a bunch of white fluff. “Nah, these are brand new. I got them when my first class evolved.”“Zat’s unusual,” Arianne said. “Not entirely unheard of, but unusual. I suppose you’re lucky zat ze evolution was towards somezing so innocent. Buns are generally well-liked.”“I guess so!” I said. I tugged my ears down, then let them go so that they sprang back up. “Anyway! Do you guys want to do lunch? We could go see Booksie, then find a nice place to eat and catch up.”“I have some letters to send,” Amaryllis said.“And we can give Amaryllis time to send her letters.”Emeric looked to his friends. Valerie was nodding quite seriously, Arianne shrugged while leaning against her staff and Pierre’s tummy growled. Donat was the only one that really didn’t seem certain. “You know what? Why not.”“Brilliant!” I cheered. “We should go check on Booksie first, and then maybe she can point us to a nice place for dinner.”“A bit of a walk won’t do any harm,” Emeric said.We took off, heading downhill towards the main streets of the city, then off towards the East end. I walked next to Emeric and listened with all four ears to him talking about their last adventure and how tricky it was to survive in the snow. I kinda knew all about that, but he was eager to talk, so I didn’t interrupt or anything.I did notice Amaryllis walking next to a quiet Pierre, keeping to herself, and a bit further back, Awen was making a piece of glass float above her hand next to Arianne who seemed to be giving her some advice.“Hey, Emeric,” I asked when there was a bit of a lull in the conversation. We were making good time. People had a habit of getting out of our path. I guess a group of armed and armoured people in adventuring gear made most pedestrians move, which was okay I guess. “Your team is pretty strong, right?”“Well, all of us are at least in our second tier, except for Donat. Arianne and I are just about to hit our second class evolution and neither of us are more zan twenty-five years old. We’re a bit ahead of ze curve.”“That’s cool! I was wondering, maybe after lunch you could teach us some things?”The grenoil looked at me quizzically. “What sorts of zings?” he asked.“Ah, well...” I tapped the tips of my fingers together. “We tend to get into some trouble sometimes, and while we’ve won every fight that counted, some of them were really close. And I guess I’m sort of our party’s leader? Kinda? We never voted on it or anything, but Awen and Amaryllis and Orange all tend to follow along with my ideas. And I don’t want them to get hurt because I wanted to try something dumb.”“You already sound like you’d make a good party leader,” Emeric said.I beamed up at him. “Thanks!”“As for training, we probably won’t stay in Port Royal past ze night and maybe into ze morning, but I can give you a few tips, I’m sure. Maybe a bit of sparring wiz Pierre? He’s quite good at fighting wizout injuring anyone. Don’t tell him, but Donat has been improving by leaps and bounds under Pierre’s tutelage.”“That would be really nice,” I said. “Maybe after lunch we can pick out an inn or something with a big yard and you could give us tips? Oh, we’ll pay, of course, it wouldn’t be nice otherwise.”“Maybe you can pay for Valerie’s portion of lunch and we’ll call it a fair deal,” he said. The glimmer of a smile in his eyes suggested that it was a bit of a trap, but I doubted Valerie could eat that much.“Deal!”We crossed the gate into the Eastern section without the guards doing anything more than glancing at all of our Exploration Guild pins. Awen didn’t have one, but maybe they thought it was under the lapel of her jacket. There weren’t that many guards by the gate, and the reason why became obvious a few blocks down where we ran into a cordon of guards blocking off the road leading down to Booksie’s shop.“Sorry folks, can’t go zat way,” one of the older guards said.“Ah, but my friends are over there,” I said.“Zere’s a dragon zere too,” the guard replied.“Yeah, he’s one of my friends.” The guard didn’t seem to believe me, but fortunately Emeric stepped in. “Ah, forgive me, sir, zis is Exploration Guild business. We need to scout ze area and ensure zat it is safe. Maybe you would like to go spy on ze dragon yourself?”“Oh, I see,” the guard said. “In zat case you’re free to go ahead.”“Thank you!” I said before hopping over the little wooden barrier they put up, then I pulled it aside for the rest of my friends who might not be so good at jumping.We moved along until, finally, we reached the street with Booksie’s shop. I looked around, taking in the quaint homes and little shops, and most importantly, the complete lack of dragons in the area. “I’m going to go check inside,” I told the others while pointing to the bookstore.“Do be careful,” Awen said.“No problem!” I gave her a thumbs-up and tried the front door. It was unlocked.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.The inside of Booksie’s shop looked a bit rough. Some of the displays had been broken, and there was a fine layer of dust over everything that had my nose scrunching up until I let loose with my Cleaning aura. That cleared up the dust around me, and also made the air smell a little fresher. I should have left it up the entire time. My ears perked as I heard a deep rumbly voice from the back of the shop. It was a bit rude, but I decided to walk past all the shelves and into the area at the back of the store. There was a little kitchenette there, with a rune-stove and a tiny table with one one chair next to it. A door led to the backyard where the voices were coming from.I poked my head out, then slapped a hand over my mouth to hold in an ‘aww.’ Rhawrexdee was sitting coiled up in as small a ball as he could, and even then he was pushing up against the fences all around him. His forearms were folded up before him and under his chin. Booksie was sitting there, a big book held up on her lap so that the dragon’s eye could read the text on it from between her ears. Ears that were bobbing from side to side as if they were happy. The little bit of a flush on her face spoke volumes.“Ah, yes, the word can mean that, but see, in that context it’s conjugated in the past tense. That means it’s an entirely different word,” Rhawrexdee was saying.“Oh, it’s a homonym, two words that are spelled the same?”“That’s right. That’s what had you confused, I think.”Booksie nodded hard, her ears smacked Rhawrexdee. “I see, I see. Did you want to continue? Please?” “Certainly.” The dragon cleared his throat. “My only love sprung from my greatest adversary, my teeth shone, and my heart was at the ready. And yet her gaze melted my reservations, oh, to be free of these expectations! To have a heart which beats steady, under the regard of a beauty that evokes such-”The dragon looked up, a single eye locked onto me.I froze like a rabbit meeting a wolf, then I remembered that these were my friends. “Ah, hi guys, sorry for interrupting.”Booksie jumped to her feet, patted down her pants, and slammed her book shut with a thump. “It was nothing,” she said.“Of course not,” I agreed. “So, you’re back,” Rhawrexdee said. “Is my sister with you?” His eyes narrowed.“Nope! She’s decided to take over the local mob, so now you shouldn’t have any more problems with them, Booksie! Ah, but we discovered this great big conspiracy that might lead to a big war, so we’re going to stick our noses into that and see what we can do,” I said.“Are the others with you?” Booksie asked. “Uh-huh. And I found some old friends too! They’re a grenoil party from the Exploration Guild. They’re nice.”“Well, let’s go meet with them, then,” Booksie said. Rhawrexdee sighed and got to his feet, his tail swiping through the fence behind him and the clothes line behind that, but he didn’t seem to care much. “I’ll leap over your little shop,” he said a moment before taking to the air.When the dust settled, I turned to Booksie with a big smile. “So, reading romances while sitting on your friend?” I asked.“Oh, shush you,” she said past her flush. “Rhawrexdee was just helping me with some of the translations. I agreed to teach him the other languages I know in exchange.”“Won’t that take a long time?” I asked.The bun smiled a small, knowing sort of smile. “Yes, yes I think it will.”I giggled as I followed her into the shop. “You’re going to start the store up again?”“I think so. As much as I... enjoy Rhawrexdee’s company, I am an independent woman. I’m not going to move into my... my maybe-boyfriend’s mom’s cave just like that. I’ll see about buying some of the lots out back so he has a place to land and sit around in, and then, ah, I suppose I’ll have to look for a loan to get everything started again.”“Do you think people will come if there’s a dragon around?” I hoped that the people around here weren’t so speciest as to boycott a shop just because the owner was friends with a few dragons.“It might actually help. It’ll at least make for a good deal of advertising,” she said. “What was that about a war?”“Oh, right. Amaryllis can give you the important details, but we think someone is trying to start a big war between all the big countries around here. It sounds really nasty, so we’ll see what we can do to stop that from happening.”“I wish you the best, truly.”I stepped out onto the street to find the Exploration Guild party staring up at Rhawrexdee as if he was going to eat them at any moment. Which reminded me...“Hey, Rhawrexdee, we’re going out for lunch, did you want to come?” “Lunch? Certainly. I’m quite hungry. And also a dragon.”I grinned. “Awesome! So, do any of you know of a good place to eat? The only place I know is the Rock Inn and Roll Inn. They do have a nice courtyard, so that might work.”“Sounds good enough,” Amaryllis said. “I need a place to write some things, any place with tables would do.”“Likewise.” Booksie said. “Let me just lock things up.”Emeric moved over to me while Booksie was off closing up the shop. “Ah, when you said zat you were friends wiz ze dragon, I, ah, didn’t zink you were being zat literal.”“Well, we’re not super-best friends or anything, not yet, but Rhawrexdee is a nice guy under all the arrogance and the desire to eat people and take their gold. I think there’s a good chance that him and Booksie will work out!”The older grenoil looked at me for a long moment. “You are one strange person, Broccoli Bunch.”“Thank you!”
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Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Eating Out
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Eating Out I walked into the Rock Inn and Roll Inn with a bunch of friends at my heels. The only ones that stayed behind were Pierre and Rhawrexdee. The Ranger because he wanted to keep an eye on the dragon, the dragon because he couldn’t fit in the inn.“Julien!” I called to the big grenoil behind the counter. He looked up, and in an instant his expression shifted to a huge, welcoming grin. “Little Broccoli! It’s been days! And look at how many new customers you bring zis old frog.”I laughed and skipped over to the counter. “Hey, we’re all looking for some delicious lunch, and a place to eat it, preferably outside. Do you think we could order here and eat in your courtyard?”“Of course you can! I wouldn’t take away the sun from such a pretty young woman. You should be enjoying the last of the warm weather before ze winter hits.”Booksie stepped up next to me and curtsied a little. “Hello, sir,” she said.“Booksie! I zought you were off, what wiz, well, you know.”Booksie shook her head. “It’s all been handled. I made some very good friends who helped me out of my pinch.” She gestured my way with her ears. I was a little jealous of the control she had over them, mine tended to flop all over. “I see, zat’s wonderful!” “Ah, about my new friends. One of them has... an appetite. For meat. Lots of it.”The grenoil nodded. “I’m sure we can arrange that.”“No, no, I mean... lots of meat. A cartfull. Maybe two.”Julien blinked. “Zat’s a lot of meat.”“He’s a dragon,” Booksie said. The grenoil shifted to look out the window where, on turning to look myself, a large scaly flank was visible, gleaming a bright blue as it reflected the sun’s light. “Ah,” Julien said.“We don’t want to leave him out, that’s why I asked to eat outside,” I said.“I... of course. Well, ah, place your orders and I’ll get right to it?” he asked.I grinned. Knowing so many friendly people from all over was such a boon. “Thanks Julien!” Soon enough, all of us were gathering in the courtyard tucked into the large ‘C’ of the Inn. It was a nice spot, with a couple of little tables and a big old tree that cast green shadows across clean-cut grass. Amaryllis installed herself at the table so that she could write her letters and such while the rest of us mostly just flopped onto the grass. It was a nice day for enjoying the bit of birdsong and the soft murmur of voices, the distant whistle of steaming pipes and the rattle of carts over cobbled roads. Even Rhawrexdee seemed to appreciate the relaxation. He laid down on his side with a crash that made the ground bounce. For all that he was a dragon, I couldn’t help but imagine a big dog laying onto its side on the grass. Orange padded over to the dragon, then climbed up his side and flopped atop the huge creature to be in the position of maximum sun absorption.I pushed my cleaning aura out as far as I could, wiping away the stink that such a big city without modern plumbing produced. “Zat was a nice spell,” Arianne said.“Thanks!” I said. “Hey, do you guys think we could do a bit of sparring and training?”“Awa, I would love more help, Miss Arianne,” Awen said. “My glass magic is still not very good.”Emeric shrugged his shoulders. “Sure, why not? Broccoli, you’re a melee-focused fighter?”“I guess so? I do use some cleaning magic while fighting, and I really want to learn more magic, but so far it’s been slow going.”“She’s not that bad,” Amaryllis said from her seat. She didn’t look away from the page she was scribbling on. “She catches on quickly.”“Aww, thank you-”“I think,” Amaryllis continued. “It’s because her brain is so empty, that there’s a surplus of room for things to fit into.”I glared at my harpy friend.“Don’t pout at me like that,” she said. “It makes you look as dumb as you are.”“I wasn’t pouting, I was glaring!” She snorted, and then some of the others joined in the laughter.I slumped. Was it ‘make fun of Broc day?’Emeric gestured over to Arianne. “Can you get us a couple of poles?” he asked.The mage nodded and twisted a ring just like Amaryllis’ around. Some paper and a pen appeared and she wrote while pushing it up against her thigh. A moment later a pair of wooden staffs appeared on the soft grass before her. Emeric got to his feet, picked one up, and flung it my way. The other he tossed to Donat. “Right. Up and at zem. You two can wail at each ozer for our entertainment. Donat, do try not to hurt ze girl zat’s chummy wiz ze dragon.”“Um, alright,” the young grenoil said as he hopped to his feet. He twisted the staff around and held it by his side. I did the same. I was pretty sure my Makeshift Weapons Proficiency wouldn’t work on a staff since it was... weapon-y. But that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t do my best! “Oh, are you going to kill each other?” Rhawrexdee asked. “Nope! Just practice so that we can both get stronger!” I said.“Hrm. Not as entertaining. If you kill him by accident, I call dibs on the body.”“Uh. I don’t think it’ll come to that,” I said. “Just wait a little bit, lunch will be arriving soon enough!” I twirled the staff around, fumbled it, then hugged it close instead of dropping it on the ground. Flushing a bit, I held it properly. “I’m ready!” If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.“So, I’m curious,” Emeric asked. “Where and when, exactly, did you pick up draconic?”“Oh, I just kind of picked it up along the way,” I said.Donat asked me if I was ready, then came in swinging. We had a quick exchange filled with the clacks and thumps of staff hitting staff. Donat wasn’t quite as flexible as I was, but he hit harder and could lunge forwards really well, his extra reach helped too. I might have been spending too much time fighting thugs and such, because I was surprised by Donat’s technique more than once. Emeric kept an eye on the both of us, barking out advice about footwork, and ways to better hold the staffs to make use of their length. I would have been a sweaty, stinky mess by the time the food came around if it wasn’t for my cleaning aura whisking away the sweat.Julien delivered the food himself, with only one of the barmaids to help him, one of the tough-looking girls that only balked at the dragon in our group for a moment before pushing on.I found a spot to sit next to Amaryllis and was soon joined by Awen on my other side. “Are you guys having fun?” I asked.“Ahh, yes!” Awen said. “Miss Arianne is a very good teacher. I think I can get my Glass Magic Manipulation up to apprentice rank in a few days if I practice really hard. I’ll have to find some proper spells though.”“That sounds great!” I said.Awen nodded, looking quite pleased with herself. “Miss Arianne said that my natural mana aspect will begin to shift a little towards Glass. I, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to become a proper mage like that. Um, and I can still be a mechanic. Though I haven’t been using those skills much.”“Hmm,” I said. “Maybe we should find some small projects you can carry around? You could get some practice.”“There’s another opportunity,” Amaryllis said. She looked very serious as she placed a letter before me. “Read.”I pushed my lunch aside and picked up the letter, flattening it with my palm onto the table to remove the creases down its middle.Dear Amaryllis,I read your report. The timing was quite fortuitous as I was just arranging to send you a letter of my own. The events you’ve uncovered only scratch the surface of the troubles we’ve been having lately. It took a while before the number of coincidences started to add up towards something more than just unfortunately timed diplomatic incidents. Someone is playing silly buggers with more than one nation, and it’s beginning to be a serious problem. Which is why I wanted to contact you. The clan is sending a representative to the East to smooth over some of our difficulties. The diplomat is your cousin Fell. She’s competent enough, but I suspect that the news of our sending someone might be intercepted. That’s why I thought that, were you willing, you could act as a second, unannounced, diplomat. Your position in the family would remove any doubt as to your credibility.Please write back as soon as you can. Things are beginning to move at a pace that we’re not comfortable with, and time may be of the essence.Your mother.I finished reading the letter, a bit disappointed that there wasn’t more fluff and love in it and that it was all business, but then, it was a sort of business letter. “So, does this mean we’re going to the Nesting Kingdom next?” I asked.“I can hardly ask that you come with me,” Amaryllis said.I rolled my eyes, then leaned to the side until I was pressed up against Amaryllis. Then, for good measure, I pulled her into a hug. “As if I’d let you go alone,” I said.Amaryllis huffed her ‘I want to look as if I don’t like this, but I actually do’ huff. “If you don’t want to come, perhaps I could entice you by introducing you to my sisters. And as for you, Awen, my home has some of the best mechanics and engineers in the world. They could certainly teach you a thing or two.”Awen giggled a little lady-like giggle, then she pressed herself onto my other side and pulled Amaryllis even closer. “I think we would enjoy that,” Awen said. “But, but if Broccoli taught me anything, it’s that you should always look out for your friends.”“You’re both idiots,” Amaryllis said, but she was flushed as she said it, the silly bird.“I love you guys, you know that, right?” I asked, just to be sure.“Awa,” Awen said.“Don’t start, you moron. It’s too early for that kind of sickly sweet... stuff,” Amaryllis said. She was blushing a lot harder now. It was cute! I sat up taller, still grinning for all I was worth. “So, when do we leave?” “I think today is too soon,” Amaryllis said. “Booking a flight doesn’t sound feasible at this hour. But I think we could get one for tomorrow afternoon. Or we could teleport over.”“Teleport?” I repeated. My ears went ramrod straight above my head.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “It’s far more expedient, and ruinously expensive. It’ll cost half a dozen gold to get us to Fort Sylphrot. But it would save us a day or two of travel time. And... I suppose I could defer the costs to the clan as a sort of expense.”“That sounds awesome!” I cheered.“We’ll see tomorrow,” Amaryllis said.I nodded, then slid out of my seat. “I’m going to go tell the others. Booksie will have to handle the dragon siblings all on her own.”“I suspect that she’ll manage just fine,” Amaryllis said. “That dragon will be whipped to shape in no time, I’m certain.”I shook my head. Amaryllis had weird ideas about relationships. “I’ll be right back!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Oblivious
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Oblivious I woke up to something very soft and warm rubbing against the underside of my nose. Some blinking of grubby eyes (and a small application of cleaning magic to ungrub them) and I found myself staring at the soft brown stalk of a big bun ear. Not one of mine, either. A glance to the side showed me Booksie sleeping across the bed, her limbs sprawled out every which way and her nightie exposing an amount of leg that would have been scandalous if the room had any boys in it. As it was, we had rented a large room for the night and I convinced the others to push its two beds together into one big bed. It was a bit of a mistake. Booksie took up enough room for three. Awen was cuddled up against my side, a leg over my tummy and one of my long ears in her mouth where she was nibbling cutely at it with little ‘aw aw aw,’ sounds.A glance towards my feet revealed where all the blankets had gone. Amaryllis had appropriated them and made a sort of twisted nest which she was balled up within, head tucked under a wing.I yawned, pulled a barely-responsive arm out from under Awen, and shifted a bit. I could have gotten up, but the effort involved was way too much. I did wiggle my ear until it slid out of Awen’s mouth and then I worked hard to ignore her sad ‘aww.’ The poor thing. I shifted on the bed a little, then slid back to sleep.When I woke up again it was to find the room bathed in blues and pinks. The floral-print curtains over the windows turned the soft morning light into a shifting gradient as a gentle breeze snuck past them.Booksie was awake, but she was still flopped on her back, arms and legs spread out and eyes blinking up to the ceiling. A glance to my side showed Awen looking at me with a strange expression. The shorter girl was sleeping high enough on the bed that it felt like she was a bit taller. She reached up a hand and carefully touched the tip of my nose. “It scrunches,” she said.I think her brain might still have been half asleep.I wiggled my nose under her finger, then grinned at the sleepy blinking she did. Things started to register in Awen’s head because her face started to glow a pretty red starting from her cheeks and racing all the way up to the tips of her ears. Reaching up, I poked her nose. “Boop to you too,” I said.“You’re all too loud,” Amaryllis said as she came out of her blanket nest like a chick looking for its mommy. Her head feathers were all pointing in different directions and she looked like a mess. “I’m taking a shower first,” she declared before stretching a long leg out and stepping off the bed.I stretched too, until my arms and legs wiggled with tension, then flopped back down. “Time to get up!” I declared.The next few moments were a flurry of activity as we got up, pushed the beds apart and started rooting around for clothes that had been flung to every corner of the room and over the backs of chairs and such. Then there was a rush for the bathroom and some grumbling as we all had to wait our turn for the shower. Sure, I could have blasted everyone with Cleaning magic, but there was a shower right there. An hour after waking up, we were gathering outside of the inn after saying good day to Julien the owner. Emeric and his crew from the Exploration Guild were all there too, having rented out a couple of rooms for themselves. The only person missing was Rhawrexdee, who had flown off to go sleep at his mom’s place. He did say he would be back though.“Ah, I guess this is goodbye again?” I wondered. Emeric grinned and nodded. “I suppose so. I expect we’ll meet again, or perhaps we’ll just hear of your many exploits. I’ve no doubt zat zere will be stories told about you.”“Yeah, stories about ze harbinger of doom,” Pierre said.I huffed at the ranger and shook my head. “I hope not. I just want to live a nice, quiet life with many friends,” I said. For some reason they thought that was funny.I turned to Booksie who also looked ready to set out. She, being quite a clever Bun, had brought some changes of clothes that had been left behind in her home, a smart pencil skirt and a nice blouse. She looked like a young librarian. I wondered how much of that was to appeal to Rhawrexdee. It didn’t matter, not really, and I wished her all the best. I extended my arms up towards her and waited for her to come into my hug. She didn’t disappoint, crashing into me with a giggle. “I’m gonna miss you,” I said.“And I’ll miss you,” Booksie said. “I have so many more things to teach you about being a bun, but I’m sure you’ll figure them out. You’re a natural bun.”I grinned huge. “Thanks! I’ll do my best.”We parted with a few more goodbyes and a bunch more hugs. Even Orange got some friendly goodbye pats on her noggin’. We started to make our way down the main streets of Port Royal. “Ah, it’s just the three of us again,” I said.“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Amaryllis said. “As much as one of us is an idiot, the others are at least dependable and intelligent.”I snorted and bumped my hip against Amaryllis. “Meanie,” I said. “We do make a pretty good team though. Plus we get to hang out some more, which is the best!”“A-aw yes, yes it is,” Awen agreed. “I’m very happy that you kidnapped me, Broccoli.”I nodded. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat!” I said. “We’re like the three musketeers, but without the muskets or the cool feathery hats.”“I-I could maybe make a musket for you,” Awen said. “If you want.”I imagined myself with a few pirate-y pistols and a tricorn. “I’ll think about it,” I said. I took in a deep breath and let myself idly follow Amaryllis’ lead as she guided us through the city. Our last little adventure had been quite the exciting thing. Fighting in a tournament, meeting a dragon, then meeting more dragons. Spending time making new friends from old acquaintances... it was a lot to take in, a lot of fighting and being afraid for my life and afraid for my friends.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.In the end, though, we had survived all of our challenges and persevered through it all. And now... how close were our bonds of friendship? Amaryllis was stomping ahead of us, looking serious and severe, but she had a little smile on and her eyes twinkled with mirth. She was happy.Next to me, Awen was walking so close that our shoulders bumped every few steps. Looking down at her made her look up to me, and she smiled demurely, her cheeks rosey and plump, just demanding to be pinched. Her life had been on track to become a miserable slog. Maybe she would have found some happiness along the way, but she was happy now. I think that I did the right thing. And then there was my own happiness, a gushing well in my chest that felt like one of those veins of oil that bust out of the ground. I could hardly contain most of it. Fortunately, excess happiness just made me want to dance and hug people. No bad side-effects! “Where’re we going now?” I asked a few minutes into our walk.“The guild. You do recall that flower gathering mission of yours? You can hand that in while I go secure some transportation for the three of us over to the Nesting Kingdom.”“We’re going to teleport after all?” I asked. That would be so cool! “We’ll certainly try. If we can’t then we’ll need to find a flight over, which would take a few days. Fort Sylphrot is geographically close, but practically far.”“Huh?” Amaryllis pointed to the side of the mountain Port Royal was perched onto. “The fort is about as far from here as Deepmarsh is. That’s a day’s flight at most, winds willing. The problem is all the mountains. The weather around them is treacherous at best. Most airships can’t get the altitude to hover over the peaks, and the engines and crew freeze up if they get too high.”“Ah, right, the air is thinner in the upper atmosphere, and a whole lot colder. I can see why that would be bad.”She eyed me for a moment, then nodded. “That’s right. So a ship heading over to Fort Sylphrot needs to take a curving path through Deepmarsh airspace, or a meandering path through the various mountains. One’s slower than the other, but the risk is lesser.”“So teleporting, then,” I said. “Why have airships if you can teleport anyway?”“Do you know how many mages able to teleport there are in a place like the Nesting Kingdom?” “Nope!” “A hundred, maybe two. Most of those of a high enough rank and level that giving them the menial task of teleporting bulk goods would be plainly insulting. Some will work for guilds and teleport things for a fee. A large fee. Most mages that can do it are at a level where a few hours of their time and some mana replenishing potions is worth more than the average person’s monthly wage.”“Yikes,” I said. “What about runes and such?” I gestured to a streetlamp that was glowing from within, a rune inscribed on a steel plate behind some glass providing the light. “Incredibly tricky, with nowhere near the precision of a mage with a Skill. The Snowlands are supposed to have a large teleportation network in place for inorganic goods. If an iron ingot comes out a little bent at the other end, no one will cry over it. The same can’t be said about a person. The systems most banks use are quite similar, though smaller in scale, and a little more accurate. Though they have people with very particular skills working for them.”“Very cool,” I said. Awen nodded. “We don’t really have much of that in Mattergrove. Maybe in the capitol? But I only went there a few times, and always by carriage.”“Wait, you travelled to the capitol?” I asked.Awen nodded. “A few times,” she said. “With my family, to meet some important people. I never liked doing that. There are a lot of rules to remember, about bowing and addressing people the right way.”Amaryllis hummed and slowed to a halt before the Mages Guild. “This is where I’ll leave you two.” She placed talons on hips and regarded me with narrowed eyes. “Though Awen does remind me. I’m going to need to give you a crash-course on proper harpy etiquette. I... don’t mind introducing you to my family and clan. You’re something of a friend, I suppose. But they might look down on you and your country bumpkin act.”“I can behave,” I said.“I doubt it.”I crossed my arms. I could totally behave in polite company. “I did well enough with Awen’s family, and they’re nobles,” I said.“You kidnapped their daughter.”My cheeks warmed up a little. “I won’t kidnap you?” I tried.Amaryllis seemed less than amused. “Idiot,” she said. “We’ll go over the very basics, like not talking while eating and not slouching so much. I don’t think there’s any chance that I’ll manage to teach you anything beyond that in however much time we have left here.”“I’m not that bad. Right Awen?”“Aw... Br-Broccoli is very enthusiastic and, ah, kind,” Awen said.“Wait. Neither of those things have to do with etiquette,” I said.Awen looked away. “She’s very nice. And, she’s polite?”“Eh? I’m not that bad, right? I can be diplomatic!”Amaryllis huffed. “Do you need a hug? The last thing I need is for you to make a scene.”“I don’t make scenes,” I said.“You orchestrated a date with a dragon in the middle of a small town the day after placing second in a combat tournament. Broccoli Bunch, you’re a walking scene-in-the-making.” She sighed. “I suppose it goes hand in hand with being a Riftwalker. We’ll handle it.”I pouted and accepted the hug.I wasn’t that bad, was I?
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty — Hoping For a Better Tomorrow
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty — Hoping For a Better Tomorrow Awen and I slipped into the Exploration Guild like a pair of mice aware that there was a cat waiting just around the corner. Awen hadn’t seen much of the director, but what she did see was more than enough to spook the usually shy girl. Mathilde was scary like that. Fortunately, the only person in the entrance hall this time was a grenoil secretary behind the front desk. The young woman looked up as we moved towards her. “We’re just here to deposit a quest,” I said.“A quest? Do you mean a mission?” the lady asked. “Ah, yeah,” I said. Quests were something else here. “We had a mission to scout out the location of some flowers and such in the area between Greenshade and Rosenbell. I have samples and a really cool map with flower types on it,” I said.“The mission was handed from zis guild?” the lady asked.“Ah, no, not really. We got it from the guild in Greenshade,” I said.She nodded slowly. “In zat case, I can accept ze mission, but ze rewards will be held until we can confirm zat ze mission’s completion was to ze client’s satisfaction. Zat might take some days.”“Darn,” I said. “Well, there’s nothing for it. Are there guild places in... Fort Sylphrot? That’s where we’re going next.”“There is,” the lady said. “I can give you a voucher zat you can present zere. It will add a few days to everyzing, but you’ll receive your due payment in time.”“That would be really nice,” I said. “I don’t know how much time we’ll be spending there, but it might be a couple of days.”The secretary nodded. “Very well then, miss. I’ll need you to fill out zis form, and zen I can process your request.” She placed a sheet on the desk before me, then a nice pen with a calligraphy nib next to it. I thanked her and started putting my samples and the map I’d gotten from the bees onto the desk. Then I started to fill out the form. It was mostly easy stuff, but I had to ask Awen for help with the dates and such. When it was done, I gave it to the secretary and smiled while I waited.“Ah, Miss,” The secretary said. She looked a little uncomfortable. “I can’t read zis language.”I took the form and looked it over. My handwriting was a bit sloppy, especially where I had fun drawing little smileys in all the loopy letters, but it was still readable. Then it clicked. I was writing in English, and the common language here was... whatever.“Oh no,” I said. “I’m so sorry! I forgot I’m using translation magic. Um. I don’t know how to write the local language.”“Awa,” Awen awa’d for the first time since arriving. “I can help you. I don’t mind being your secretary.”“Really?” I pulled her into a hug. “You’re the best!” The second form handed over was a lot more readable, probably. Awen’s handwriting looked neat and tidy, though I had some sort of gimmicky thing turning it to English, so for all I knew it could be totally sloppy.I thanked the secretary, then waited next to Awen for her to return with a voucher. It was a bit chilly in the waiting room, so I pulled Awen in for some recreational cuddling. She was just short enough that if I stretched onto my tippy-toes I could plop my chin atop her head. Awen must have been cold too, because she pressed into the hug with a content little ‘awww’ sound. And then the secretary returned with a grim-faced director Mathilde and a chunk of my good mood evaporated. I pulled back from Awen and faced the director while trying to tamp down my nerves. “Hello,” I said.“Good morning, Miss Bunch,” she said. “Miss Bristlecone.”Awen tensed up too. We shared a look and both knew that could be in a heap of trouble. “How are you doing?” I tried.The director scoffed. “I doubt you’re here for pleasantries.”“No, we’re just here to hand in a mission. Really, that’s it.”She eyed us, then looked to the secretary who gave her our report. “So you are. Well, perhaps it’s fortuitous that you’ve come.” Her attention fell onto Awen like a sack of rice falling from the heavens. Awen made herself smaller. “Your parents have hired the guild to find, and return you. There’s a sizable reward on the line.”“You can’t take Awen,” I said as I pulled my friend back and placed her behind me. I didn’t know how strong the director was, but I had to assume she was around Abraham’s level, which meant... that was bad. Still, Awen didn’t deserve to go back to her parents and I wouldn’t let this woman take her just like that.“I also,” she continued. “Received a letter, and a bottle of wine, from Abraham, telling me to leave things alone. That Awen was probably in good hands.”I nodded. “She is! I mean, she almost died a few times, and we were in a lot of danger a few others, but she’s uh, grown a lot. Please don’t take Awen away.”“I, I don’t want to leave Broccoli,” Awen whispered next to me.Mathilde sighed. “Why do you always make me feel like some sort of villain, Miss Bunch?”“Um.”“No, nevermind that. I suppose it comes from being what you are.”“A, um, perfectly ordinary girl?” I tried.She didn’t look amused. “A Riftwalker. And a troublesome one, at that.”I felt a chill running down my back. My mouth worked, but I wasn’t sure what to say. “I’ll be watching your career with interest,” Mathilde said. “Your sort tends to burn bright. I just hope that fire doesn’t start an inferno, or that it doesn’t get doused too early.” She shook her big froggy head. “You two be careful. Bad times are stirring up.”This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.I swallowed. “We’ll do our best to make them better,” I said.She huffed, then made a dismissing gesture with a hand. I didn’t need to be told twice. Pulling Awen after me, I skedaddled half-way out the room, then ran back to get my backpack. On reaching the outside of the guild, we found an impatient Amaryllis tapping her talons on the ground. “About time,” she said.“Amaryllis!” I said before crashing into her with a hug. “Director Mathilde almost second-kidnapped Awen, and then she found out I was a Riftwalker.”Amaryllis stared at me. “And she let you go? Both of you?” We nodded.“Then she’s an idiot. Let’s not spit in fortune’s eye.” The harpy pushed me off, then started fixing her feathers. “I have arranged for teleportation over to Fort Sylphrot this afternoon. That leaves us nearly five hours before it’s time to leave.”The change of subject caught me flat-footed, but my mind caught up soon enough. “Okay? So we get lunch and wait?”“World no. You don’t teleport on a full stomach. I was thinking, rather, we go do a little bit of shopping. Nothing too extravagant. Your clothes are... nice enough, I suppose, but they’re ill-suited to the more prestigious Fort.”I nodded, a grin coming on strong. “That sounds nice. I’ve been wearing the same panties for two weeks now.” Awen stepped away and Amaryllis looked at me as if I’d just gotten on all fours and started licking the pavement. “I have Clean!” I defended myself.“Disgusting,” Amaryllis said. “Come. We’re buying you a wardrobe.” She hugged Orange (who had gone with her so that she wouldn’t be alone) close to her chest and stomped off with a huff.“Where am I going to put it?” I asked.“If you can’t even fit some unmentionables in your backpack then you need to relearn how to pack,” said the harpy who didn’t carry a bag because she had a banking ring. I protested the entire way down to the main road, but my protests fell onto deaf ears, and Awen was too busy breathing hard from the walk to leap to my defence.Amaryllis led us across a boulevard and into a shopping district with a few stores. “You’ll need something suitable for presenting yourselves in polite company. Don’t worry. I’ll be stowing it myself. World knows you’d find a way to lose it between now and this evening.”My curiosity was piqued. “What is harpy fashion like?” “High fashion? I have no clue. I’ve been gone for over a month, so all I know is likely outdated. But there are some staples that are always respectable. Usually lighter clothes, flowing pants that are very loose fitting, with some sort of large scarf or pelt to ward off the cold.”“Do you wear skirts?” I asked. “I’m not too fond of pants.”“We can fly, at least short distances,” Amaryllis said. “It would be the height of impropriety to wear a skirt. Not to mention the wind around most of the cities and estates around the Nesting Kingdom. You’ll just need to get used to pants.”I shrugged. “When in Rome,” I said.“Where’s Rome?”“Ah, nevermind.” I waved the question off. “So, what about colours?”“When I left, the trend was to wear darker colours. Blacks, greys, browns. I don’t think that has changed so soon. No patterns. Those were left behind last winter, and I won’t have you looking like more of a bumpkin than you are.”“I’m okay with anything, I guess,” I said. “As long as it’s not revealing or uncomfortable.”Amaryllis grinned at me. “Usually you’d be trying to wear less, not more. At least, that was my sister’s advice when it came to catching a beau. Trust me, she would know. The woman goes through bachelors faster than most outgrow a batch of feathers.”I snorted and followed her into the first shop on the road. “I’m not looking for a beau,” I said. “What about you, Awen?”“M-me? Awa, no, no I’m not looking for any boys.”I nodded. “See. Bunch of celibate old prudes is what we are.”Amaryllis shook her head and surveyed the shop. For the most part, clothes in this world, at least, in the very few shops I’d seen, came in two varieties. Pre-made things magicked to fit the first person that wore it, and custom-made clothes made by someone with tailoring skills. We were looking for stuff of the pre-made variety, which didn’t actually leave that many options. It was rather obvious that the whole mass-production thing hadn’t entirely caught on. There were some clothes that all matched, but those were very simple things, probably meant to be worn by workers and the lower-middle class. It was good enough for me, but Amaryllis didn’t seem pleased by anything in the first two shops. For all that Amaryllis grew increasingly frustrated by the lack of ‘proper ladies garb’ I still had a blast. Awen was quick to play the doll whenever we wanted to see how something would look, and I got to try on a few nice outfits for my friends too.Even Amaryllis, who at first declined to try anything because she had a proper wardrobe in storage, eventually relented and tried a few colourful blouses on.In the end, we left having spent more time than money, and with only a few little things to show for it. “We’ll have to go looking through the stores in Fort Sylphrot,” Amaryllis declared. “More shopping!” I said.Amaryllis didn’t seem averse to the idea. We took our time on the way back, enjoying the sun and the gusty autumn winds. I hoped that the peace we had now wasn’t fleeting.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-One — Fast Travel
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-One — Fast Travel I entered the mage’s guild with wide-eyes and a smile so big my cheeks were hurting. The place was incredible, with floating banisters, lights that hovered a few centimeters from the ceiling and a large desk made of some sort of still-living tree taking up the middle of the room.It felt like I had stepped into Hogwarts. Amaryllis, the party pooper, didn’t even gawk. She just walked straight up to the front desk and nodded to the young man with a plain wizard’s cape behind it. “We’re here for an appointment with Magister Dupuis,” she said.I spun around. There were big portraits above the entrance, each of a man or woman in elaborate robes and with complicated hats. “Broccoli!” Amaryllis was waiting by the side of a spiral staircase, Awen by her side, and her talons on her hips. “If you want to walk all the way over to the Fort then you’re more than welcome to stay,” she said.“Right! Coming.”Up the stairs we went, and then down a short corridor and into a large wood-panelled room. The walls were covered in ticking clocks with the names of cities on plaques next to them, and a spot in the middle of the room was cleared of anything except a wooden dais.A man was reading from a large tome off to one side, with a pointy-brimmed hat on his head held in place by a pretty red ribbon tied in a bow under his bearded chin. He turned our way, intelligent eyes scanning over us before he smiled. “Ah, Miss Amaryllis! And these must be your friends. Hello!”“Hello Magister,” Amaryllis said. “We’re here for our appointment.”“I assumed as much,” the man said with a chuckle. “I doubt you’re here for my conversational abilities!”“I wouldn’t mind talking,” I said.The magister barked a laugh. “You’re too kind, then. Not too nervous about teleporting?” I shook my head. “No way! I’m super excited. What’s it like? Will I vomit when we reach the other end? Or see eldritch monsters if I keep my eyes open when we move?”He shook his head. “I’m afraid not. I’ve got the Teleport skill, which means that this should all be quite smooth and easy. I do have some advice, if you’ll hear it.”I nodded. “Of course, you’re the expert.”His grin grew. “Nothing too complicated. Hold onto each other when we teleport, bend your knees just a bit, and keep your eyes closed.”“Because if I don’t close them I’ll be catching glimpses of the unknowable horrors between time and space?” I asked.“It’s more like the difference in lighting can hurt your eyesight. Plus Fort Sylphrot can be quite the windy place. You might also want to make sure all of your equipment is on tight, just in case.”I was a bit disappointed, but I nodded all the same and made sure my hat was on nice and tight. “Will do,” I said. “Why do we need to bend our knees?” “I tend to prefer teleporting in a handspan over the ground. Which means a bit of a drop on arrival. It can be jarring if you’re standing tall and straight. I once had an entire group of soldiers fall onto their backs on arriving. Terribly embarrassing.”I gave him a thumbs-up. “I got it,” I said. “Is that all we need to do?”“Well, there’s the delicate matter of payment....”Amaryllis was quick to pull a page from her ring. In no time at all, a small pouch that clinked of gold was handed over to the wizard who stashed it away in a little vault. The magister brought us over to the large dais off to the side, then he did something on a panel sticking out of its side that made the platform shift just a tiny bit. “This adjusts the level on which we stand. See, Dirt is actually round, so you need to stand at an angle where, upon arriving, you won’t fall flat on your face. Of course Fort Sylphrot isn’t terribly far, so it’s barely noticeable. Ahh, is that cat a familiar?”I blinked and looked down to Orange who was winding her way around Awen’s ankles. “Oh, that’s Orange, she’s my spirit kitten,” I said.“Might want to unsummon her then,” he said. “Or you can try holding onto her. Spirit animals tend to do as they please.”I picked Orange up and hugged her close. She must have been in a good mood because she didn’t fight me off or anything. “I think we’re ready,” I said.“Wonderful! Get closer now, yes that’s right. You’ll want to link arms, just like at a formal.” The magister directed us close together, Amaryllis on my right, Awen on my left, and then we all linked arms. It was a bit awkward, but not too bad. “Very well, now close your eyes....”I shut my eyes as tight as I could.And then a cold breeze was slipping past my legs and face a moment before I dropped no more than a couple of centimeters. The quiet tick-tocking of Magister Dupuis’ room was replaced by the murmur of a crowd, broken by the occasional whistle and the distant chug of airship engines.“You can look around, we’ve arrived,” the Magister said. I blinked a few times and took in the form of a huge wall and the top of a large mountain. We were just outside a city, standing on a white-brick courtyard next to a gatehouse. I hugged Orange close, but the kitty wiggled out of my grasp and climbed onto my shoulder.Behind us was a gorgeous scene, mountain tops rising up to a cloudy sky, and beyond them a grassy flatland for as far as the eyes could see. In the other direction were more mountains, peaks and jagged sides rising up way above us to touch the sky.“Welcome to Fort Sylphrot,” the Magister said. “I’m afraid this is where we part ways.” the wizard bowed. “Thank you for using the Mages Guild’s services this afternoon. I wish you ladies the finest of days.”“Ah, thank you,” I said.“Indeed, thank you, Magister Dupuis,” Amaryllis said. Awen murmured her own thanks to the man a moment before he disappeared without so much as a ‘zorp.’ The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Grinning from ear to ear, I took a deep breath of thin, cold air and turned back to the walls of the fort. They were tall, made of shaped stones that were the same colour as all the mountains around us. “So, this is Fort Sylphrot?” I asked.“It is,” Amaryllis said. She looked caught between being glad she was back home and a strange form of melancholy, so I pulled her into a sidelong hug. “Get off me,” she said. “The guards are looking our way.” She might have been complaining, but she wasn’t doing anything to push me off. “It’ll be okay,” I said. “Awen and I are with you!”“Aw, we are,” Awen said.Amaryllis huffed and began stomping her way over to the gate. There weren’t all that many guards there, nor were there any carts or anything leading up to the gates. I guessed that being halfway up a mountain in the middle of a range kind of made carrying stuff overland complicated. We moved over to the gate where the guards saluted us. “Greetings,” one of them said. I hadn’t seen that many harpies since coming to Dirt. Sure, I’d spent a lot of time with Amaryllis, but that was about it. The guards were some of the first boy harpies I saw. The one that had spoken looked a bit older than the rest, with a few of his feathers looking a bit dull and worn along his arms and head. He wore a thickly padded gambeson, but no metal armour. I supposed that it made sense that harpies in general would want to avoid heavier armour if they were able to fly. “Hello,” Amaryllis said. “Can we enter or will there be trouble?” Amaryllis asked.“Uh,” the guard said. “We’ll need to see your passes,” he said. “Just as a matter of security.”Amaryllis huffed and pulled a page from her ring. A moment later-after using the wall as a table-she had a little booklet in hand which she passed to the guard. I noticed that the pages all had tabs on them, probably to make it easier for someone with talons to sift through it.The guard stood taller and his head feathers puffed out a bit. “Miss Albatross, ah, forgive me, ma’am. I didn’t recognize you.”Amaryllis waved the comment off. “I’ve been away for a bit. We’re heading straight to my estates, all three of us. Is that well?” “Of course ma’am,” the guard said as he gave her back the booklet. “Welcome home.”Amaryllis huffed and walked past the guards, so it fell onto me to thank them for all of their hard work, at least until Amaryllis started tugging at my collar.We paused just beyond the gate, Amaryllis turning to face me with her talons on both of my shoulders. “Okay. Let’s get this over with right away. We’re going to walk over to my family’s estates. Between here and there, please try to get all of your gawking and country bumpkin-ing done within one fell swoop. I’ll grudgingly play the tour guide for you.”“You have tour guides?” I asked.She rolled her eyes. “Fort Sylphrot is second only to the capital in terms of importance. More so, if you take into account its strategic value.” I nodded, then, finally, took some time to look around. The entire city felt a little small, with a footprint that was much tighter than Port Royal. But unlike the chaotically organic Port Royal, Fort Slyphrot was built vertically. Hardly any of the buildings I could see were shorter than four stories, with some reaching six or seven. There were stairwells all over, and large balconies overlooking the tight streets below. The vast majority of the people moving about were harpy, but there was the occasional human and even the rare grenoil milling in the crowd. A crowd that was surprisingly colourful. Most of the people walking by had clothes in dull colours, browns and greys, but their plumage made up for it. From bright, canary yellow, to peacock-like feathers atop the head of groups of young men. I couldn’t pin the kinds of birds most of the harpy were like, though some were rather obvious. Wide-eyed owl-harpy salesmen were hawking food with loud hoots and a few dark-feathered crow harpy were preaching from a street corner. The food stalls were filling the air with the scent of freshly cooked meats and breads, which was nice because the stench of bird poop would have been overwhelming otherwise.Above us, younger harpies were skipping from roof to roof with cheerful whistles, completely ignoring the no doubt lethal fall below them.“This place is so alive!” I cheered.Amaryllis trilled, her chest puffing out with pride. “Of course it is. The Nesting Kingdom is one of, if not the, greatest kingdom on all of Dirt.” I decided not to poke at her patriotic bubble, not when she seemed so happy. “Are you going to show us around? What kind of food do they have here? Oh, are there any special armours and weapons for sale? What about the airships? Your family is big on those.... Can we do some window shopping? Is it called window shopping when you’re shopping for an entire ship?”Amaryllis scoffed. “I’m certain we can squeeze some time for all of that later. Come on, there are a few things I’d like to show you.”“What sort of things?” I asked.Instead of answering me, Amaryllis turned to Awen who was being quiet and demure while also taking in everything around her. “Have you ever been to a proper bath house, Awen?”“I have,” Awen said with a nod. “They are quite popular in Mattergrove, and Greenshade has a few for the noble ladies. Um. It’s a place to trade gossip, mostly. We always took a bath at home before and after.”Amaryllis snorted. “Well, I’ll show you a proper bath house later. You too, Broccoli.”“I’m pretty clean,” I pointed out.“You wore the same underthings for far, far too long. You might be clean, but that doesn’t mean you’re clean.”I blinked at that. “Uh.”“Oh, nevermind. Come. We’ll stop by my house first. If the world is kind to us we’ll manage to avoid meeting anyone from my family until later.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Two — Harping on Friendship
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Two — Harping on Friendship The world was not kind to Amaryllis. The moment we arrived at the Albatross estate-in a corner of the fort city with a second set of walls circling a dozen buildings that stood tall and proud, with ivy crawling up their walls and roofs made of beaten copper-we came face to face with a tall harpy in the guise of a manservant.He bowed from the waist, arm folded over his chest and the long tails of his suit spilling out behind him. “Miss Amaryllis, it is good to see you once more.”“Ah, hello Gen-Gen,” Amaryllis said.I stared at her, then at the butler bird with the dark plumage and the straight back. Was that his name, or was it a cutesy nickname? And if it was a cutesy nickname, could I tease Amaryllis about it without being mean?Amaryllis shifted, obviously uncomfortable, so I decided to tease her later. “I’m back,” she said.“I had noticed,” the butler returned with just the barest hint of joviality in his tone. “Your room is still awaiting you. Shall I prepare rooms for your guests?”Amaryllis stood a little taller, more regal. “That would be acceptable, yes. Two rooms in the eastern wing.”“Of course.” He backed up then gestured to the front of the compound where a tall gate barred the path. Next to it was a much more convenient doorway. “Do you wish to enter by the servant's postern? For discretion’s sake.”Amaryllis winced. “Which one?” she asked.“Both, ma’am.”I looked between the two, then to Awen who shrugged back. She didn’t have any idea what they were talking about either. “I was hoping that Clementine, at least, would be working at this hour.”Gen-Gen the butler nodded. “The lady is, indeed, working. She happens to be working on some drafts in the main office. She didn’t desire to travel all the way to the courts this morning.”Amaryllis sighed. “Fine. Let’s get it over with, Gen-Gen. My friends will need clothes that are suited to things beyond adventuring. I’m afraid we came in a bit of a hurry.”“As you desire,” he said before opening the servant’s door and ushering us in.The Albatross compound, at least from within, was a pretty enough place. The walls of most buildings had been painted over with a sort of calcium-white paint, with the windows done up in dark blues. The big gate opened up to a large courtyard, surrounded on all sides by banks of white and blue flowers.I recognized some as lilies, but the rest I’d need to look up. Gen-Gen stepped in after us, pulled the door shut, and then started to guide us towards the building in the centre of the estate. It was more of a mansion than a proper home, with a stone balcony running along the front that led to a grand entrance and enough room around it for a well-manicured lawn. I was just about to comment on how nice Amaryllis’ house was when we all paused to listen to a distant keening.“Aaaaaammyyyyy!” came the high pitched scream.My ears twisted this way and that to find the source, but before I could pinpoint it, the source found us.One moment Amaryllis was standing next to me, the next she was gone with a heavy ‘oomph.’ “Amy! Amy you’re back!” Blinking, I looked down and back and found myself staring at a doppelganger of Amaryllis, only this one was wearing a pretty sundress the colour of sunflowers. Her white hair feathers were a bit longer too, tumbling over her shoulders in big droopy bunches and swaying with every motion. “Oh, Amy! I missed you so much!” the girl said before she glomped onto Amaryllis, then started rubbing her cheeks against my harpy friend’s face. “Oh, you’ve grown so much! Are you okay? You’re very quiet? Did you get hurt? Are you hungry? Did you pass your daily bowel movement? Did a cat person catch your tongue?”Amaryllis took in a deep gulp of air, then glared up at the girl straddling her chest. “Get off me, Rose, or I swear I’m going to roast you,” she said.“Aww! Amy!” the girl cheered before hugging Amaryllis even harder. “You haven’t threatened me in ages!”Amaryllis started to buzz, the air around her turning electric with crackles and pops that had the girl, Rose, bouncing off her in a hurry. Her only reaction though, was to let out a long giggle and turn towards Awen and I with a curtsy. “Hello! Are you Amy’s body guards?” I felt a big grin tugging at my cheeks, so I let it loose and shook my head. “Nope! We’re Amaryllis’ best friends!”Rose gasped, her talons clasping together over her chest. “Amy, you made friends? How?!”Amaryllis huffed and, with a bit of help from a handy Awen, got to her talons. “You make it sound like I’m unable to be friendly,” she said.“You are,” Rose said with the same certainty that someone might reserve for announcing that the sun would come up. Still grinning, I shook my head some more. “It’s okay! Amaryllis might be a bit hard headed, and a little rude, and sometimes she’s mean, but deep, deep down, she’s a real sweetie!”I looked at the girl, trying to spot the differences between her and Amaryllis. Most of them came down to the happiness wafting off of her like a heat-haze. “Are you Amaryllis’ sister?” “I am!” she said. “Oh, it’s so nice that Amaryllis made friends!” “Can I hug you?” I asked.Her reply was an ear-splitting whistle that ended when she crashed into me in a flurry of feathers and cheek-pecks. “I’m Rosaline, Amy’s big sis!” “Hi! Can I call you Rose too? Oh, and I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch! Amaryllis is my best friend, so we should be friends too!”Rosaline AlbatrossDesired Quality: Someone who will love her back.Dream: To elope with someone cute and to make her family proud.Rosaline cooed happily, then backed up a step. Her eyes turned and locked onto Awen who ‘Awa’d.’ “Awa!” Rosaline cheered as she crashed into Awen. “Amy made two friends! It’s a miracle!” Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.Amaryllis huffed. “That’s Awen, my other best friend,” I said. I grinned as I watched Awen get her cheeks pecked to within an inch of her life, then I turned to Amaryllis. “I don’t know why you were worried, your family is great!”“Rose is... unique,” Amaryllis said with crossed arms. “Aww, you can give me a better compliment than that,” Rosaline said. She was still busy rubbing her cheeks against an increasingly red-faced Awen.“Rose is insufferable,” Amaryllis added.I held back a snort, then booped Amaryllis on the head. “Don’t be mean. You sister seems super friendly.”“See, Broccoli knows what’s up,” Rosaline said from where she was wrapped around Awen. “What in the world’s name is going on here?” an entirely new voice asked.“Oh my,” Gen-Gen the butler said. So far he’d taken Rosaline’s... Rosaline-ness in stride. I suspected that it was a pretty common occurrence. That he was suddenly wary...A woman stepped into our path. A taller, more bosomy Amaryllis, with eyes that practically glowed with repressed anger and whose well fluffed feathers made her look way bigger than she was. Her eyes skipped from me, to Awen, past Rosaline, and then locked onto Amaryllis like a hawk spotting an injured rabbit out in the open. “Amaryllis Albatross,” she said.Amaryllis carefully moved back until she was halfway hidden behind me. “Big sister Clementine,” she said.“Don’t you big sister me!” Clementine screeched. The harpy woman ran over and spun around me while Amaryllis did the same. Soon they were running after each other while I played the maypole. “Stop running you damned fool!” “I’m not fool enough to do that! World knows what you intend to do to me!” Amaryllis shouted back.I spun my head around to try and keep track of them, but it was hard with Amaryllis trying to use me as cover and her sister trying to nab her. “Oh, I’ll tell you exactly what I intend to do!” Clementine shouted.A few heads started to poke out from windows, and some harpies showed up around corners, some in serving outfits, others in gowns and suits. “I’m going to pin your wings to your back, then I’m going to strip those pants off of you, and once your shame is exposed to the entire clan and sky, I’ll tan it red! A slap for every day you went missing!” “I wrote you letters!” Amaryllis said. “You wrote threats and insults!” Clementine shouted back.“That’s all you deserve, you old hag!” “You idiot!” “You moron!”“Imbecile!” I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, tried to imagine what Mister Rogers would do in my situation, then with both hands shooting out to either side, I grabbed the two harpies around me and pulled them into a big hug.“Amaryllis, be nice to your sister, it’s obvious that she loves you lots,” I said while ignoring Clementine’s protests to the contrary. I also didn’t let go, even when she started poking me in the ribs. “And big sis Clementine, it’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch! Amaryllis is my best friend.”“Amaryllis, who is this idiot?” Clementine asked.“Don’t call Broccoli an idiot, you daft moron!” I sighed as I held both sisters in place. Harpies were surprisingly weak, especially when they weren’t actually trying to hurt. “Mister Gen-Gen, is there a place where we could have a sit? Maybe some tea?”“Of course, Miss Bunch,” the butler said. “Right this way.”The butler started back towards the mansion in the compounds centre as if we weren’t being gawked at by a whole flock of stickybeaks. “Okay, come along you two!” I said with good cheer as I started to drag Amaryllis and her sister along. “Wow! You’re really good at Clementine wrangling,” Rosaline said as she let go of Awen and hopped ahead of me. “I had lots of practice with Amaryllis. Is Clementine the same way?”“I’m right here, you ignorant bun!” Clementine said from where she was caught against my side. “Yeah, pretty much!” Rosaline said. “Amy and Clem-Clem are two peas in a pod! They used to get along so well. But then they both turned all arrogant and prickly.”“Don’t call me that!” Clementine barked. Gen-Gen the butler led us through the mansion’s entrance hall, where larger-than-life portraits of harpies hung on every wall looking very important next to delicate porcelain on pedestals. The butler opened a double door into a large living area with a small library, some nice sofas around a coffee table, and a grand piano in one corner. “This’ll do!” I said. I carefully shoved the sisters onto two opposite seats then, with hands on hips, made sure to give them my most stern look. “Clementine, Amaryllis, you’re both sisters. You shouldn’t be acting like this. You should be happy to see each other, no matter what.”“That’s right!” Rosaline chirped. “Amaryllis, who is this woman?” Clementine asked. “I’ll have her jailed for so much as touching me!” “Oh, get over yourself,” Amaryllis shot back. “She wouldn’t have had to touch you if you weren’t so insane.”Clementine squeaked. “Insane? I’ll show you insane!” I clapped my hands as hard as I could. “Guys. Please. We haven’t even introduced each other.”There was a gleam of something dangerous in Amaryllis’ eyes and she leaned back into her seat and crossed her wings again. “That’s right. You haven’t introduced each other. What would mom think, Clementine?”“She’d still think that at least I didn’t run away from home like an upset chick.”The sisters glared at each other from across the table, but at least they weren’t at each other’s throats anymore. “Okay,” I said. “Let’s all just sit down and have a nice, polite, unarmed chat. Gen-Gen, would it be unkind of me to ask for some water and some mugs?” “Of course not, ma’am. I’ll return straight away,” the butler said before moving out of the room with some alacrity. I kind of wished I could run with him.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Three — Of Course You Realize this Maybe War
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Three — Of Course You Realize this Maybe War Tea was the greatest social lubricant known to young-woman kind.I supposed that alcohol was meant to serve the same purpose, but I didn’t like the idea of being all tipsy and such. My mom had told me that when she drank she would start to cry and hug people a lot. The hugging part was alright, but I could do without the crying. Crying was for when you were sad, not when you were with friends. I gently stirred the kettle, letting the leaves steep for a moment until I felt like the tea was ready, then I poured five cups. Each one was placed before one of my friends, One before Awen, then Amaryllis, then Clementine and Rosaline. The last I dragged closer to my spot around the table. “There! Now everyone’s served,” I said.Rosaline clapped. Awen smiled and took her cup in dainty fingers. Amaryllis and Clementine glared at each other, the air between them sparking and burning with hazy magic. I set my cup down onto its saucer with a click. “Amaryllis, Clementine, can we not do this?” I asked. “You’re both sisters. You should love each other.”“Oh, I love my moronic sister, alright,” Clementine said. She tore her cup off the table and gulped half of it down in one go. “I love her so much. But not when she betrays the entire family to run off to world knows where.”Amaryllis scoffed. “I love my sisters,” she said. “But not when they’re willing to sell me off to the highest bidder.”“We put it off,” Clementine said. “It’s not like the clan isn’t used to cancelling marriage engagements.” She turned her glare to Rosaline who looked away with a bit of a flush. “You should have asked me,” Amaryllis said.I locked eyes with Awen and we both shrugged at the same time.Rosaline smacked the table a few times. “Girls, please, no. It’s over now, right?”Amaryllis and Clementine huffed and crossed their wings at the same time, like mirror images. I held back a giggle. It wouldn’t be right to laugh, especially not when Amaryllis was genuinely upset. She hadn’t exactly left her family on the best of terms, so this return might be a bit taxing on her mood. I patted her thigh under the table to remind her that I was there. “So, uh, you guys wanted to see Amaryllis for something important, right?” I asked. “About the maybe-war?”“The Maybe War,” Rosaline said. “I like it! Much better than the current name.”“The presses haven’t found a good name for it yet,” Clementine said.Amaryllis sat a little straighter. “It’s reached the public ear?” she asked.Clementine made a wishy-washy gesture with a wing. “Not entirely. But people are beginning to notice. You know how easy it is to ruffle feathers when it comes to the sylph. You could crack eggs in the middle of the sidewalk and get less hatred for it.”“How bad is it?” Amaryllis asked.Clementine’s expression made her look like she’d bit into a lemon. “It’s not good. There are rumours that the sylph and the cervid are forming an alliance. Just rumours, none based in fact, but it’s quite ugly.”“We’re getting a lot more commissions for warships,” Rosaline said. “Which is the only good bit of news we’ve had in a while.”I took a sip of my tea after adding a dollop of honey and two spoons of sugar to it. “Amaryllis said that you wanted us here to help stop things from getting worse, right?” Clementine’s response was a slow nod. “There’s a dignitary leaving sometime this month. Some jumped up crow from Farseeing and a few lesser nobles for every clan. Cousin Fell is one of the members going.”“Is this going to be one of those things where every clan has a talon in the pie?” Amaryllis asked.“Pretty much,” Clementine said. “If the ship they’re taking doesn’t get attacked, blown up, or usurped by its crew, there’s a good chance it will crash because two idiots aboard couldn’t get along for a few days.”“And you want us to accompany them?” Amaryllis asked. “Usually familicide is the one without a title getting rid of the one with the title.”Clementine glared across the table, then paused when Gen-Gen the butler placed a plate of little dumplings in the centre of the table. “Thank you, Gen, that’s just what I needed,” she said before taking one of the dumplings and throwing it full-force across the table and into Amaryllis’ face.My friend squawked and batted her arms in protest. “Clem!” Rosaline said. “Don’t waste the food! Also, don’t hit little Amy.”Clementine relented under the force of Rosaline’s big accusing eyes. “She was being stupid... stupider than usual.”“You must know what it sounds like,” Amaryllis said. “We’re not sending you on the diplomatic ship. We have others, We were hoping to send you and a hired crew out a week or two before the diplomatic mission leaves. You can pave the way for the diplomats, and can carry copies of most of the important agreements. If they never show up, you can present them yourself. If they do, then you can spy on the sylphs. World knows we don’t know the half of what they’re up to.” “We’ll consider it,” Amaryllis said.“I don’t mind helping,” I added.She sighed. “Broccoli, you’re meant to play hard to get, or else people like my numbskull sister here will walk all over you. You won’t get any concessions if you agree to just do things for free.”“But you shouldn’t put a price on helping!” Rosaline giggled into her open palm. “Your letters didn’t say that your new friend was this cute,” she said.I froze, teacup halfway to my lips. “N-no, no, I’m not cute,” I said.“The first thing we’ll need is better training,” Amaryllis said. “Broccoli and Awen are both... capable in a fight, but they could be better. And they’re both rank novices with magic. I think some better equipment wouldn’t go amiss either. Ah, and Awen has a keen interest in mechanics and the like.”“How much training do you think you can cram in?” Clementine asked. “For that matter, how long do you think you have before leaving?”“I don’t know; how much of my time do you intend to waste?” Amaryllis snapped back. Then, because she just had to, she added, “You idiot.”The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.Rosaline pushed her sister back into her seat without even looking. “I’m sure we can help you and your friends become even stronger,” Rosaline said. “I can call in some favours, and we have a few good teachers in the clan already.”“Dammit Rose, you can’t just agree to anything,” Clementine said while ignoring Amaryllis’ smug look.“Sure I can. How do you think I go on so many dates? By saying no?” Rosaline turned towards Amaryllis, a dangerous look in her eyes. “Speaking of...”Amaryllis groaned. “So, Amy, did you find anyone interesting while you were out and about?” she asked coyly.“No. No I did not,” Amaryllis said. “And if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”I picked a dumpling off the table and started chowing down, only pausing when a question came to mind. “You don’t trust Rose to help you with romance stuff? She’s your big sister!”“Rose is...” Amaryllis began, but got lost and started making gestures that didn’t explain anything.Rosaline took it in good humour. “I have a bad reputation,” she said. “I want to find the perfect man-or woman-and so I’ve gone on dates with, ah, most of the local clan’s' most eligible bachelors. People say that I’m a bit hysterical.” “Oh!” Awen said.Her little outburst had us all turning her way. Awen was good at being quiet when she wanted to, especially when she was sitting at the far end of the table, a sleepy Orange on her lap. “I, awa, I have something that might help you, Miss Rosaline. But, um, I can’t give it to you forever. You can keep it while we’re here, maybe?”Rosaline tilted her head to the side. “What’s this?” Awen reached into her satchel and carefully pulled out the wand of cure hysteria. “Um. This is very precious to me,” she said. “B-but you’re one of my best friend’s sisters, so, ah, you can have it?”Awen looked my way as if to make sure I was okay with it, so I gave her a discrete thumbs-up and a big grin.“Um,” Rose said as she stared at the wand. “Do you-”“She doesn’t,” Amaryllis interrupted. For some reason she covered her face with both hands. “Neither of them know. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for the most opportune moment to tell them.”“Tell them what?” I asked.“Nevermind that,” Amaryllis said. “I’m not losing such good social blackmail on a whim.”I looked to Awen, but she didn’t seem to understand either. Across from us, Clementine’s face was so far past red it looked sickly, and Rosaline was biting her lower lip and holding back laughter. “Awa, you don’t want it?” Awen asked.“It’s, um, a very nice gesture,” Rosaline said. “But I don’t think I need that. I have my own.”“Rose!” Amaryllis squawked. Now she was turning red too.I had the impression that I was missing out on something important. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Awen said. She stuffed her wand away in a hurry. “I just, um, wanted to help.”“So cute!” Rosaline said. She got to her feet and circled around to glomp Awen from the side. “My sister is so lucky to have made so many cute friends.” Awen was busy blushing up a storm while Clementine calmed down. “Your friends are... so... they’re uncivilised!”“Hey!” Amaryllis jumped to our defence. “Awen is actually quite well-raised.”“What about me?” I asked.“You’re an idiot,” she said without missing a beat.I wilted. “Ladies.” We all turned to see Gen-Gen standing by the entrance, his arms folded with a new towel draped over them. “Dinner is served in the main dining hall.”I patted my tummy. It was definitely nearing empty, and judging by the way Amaryllis jumped to her feet, she was hungry too. Awen might have done the same, but she was being hugged to within an inch of her life by Rosaline. “Ah, I hope you don’t mind receiving us for dinner,” I said. We had kind of invited ourselves. Clementine waved it off. “Nonsense. My ingrate, foolish younger sister might have a hard time with basic decency, but I won’t have the rest of us suffer the same accusation.”“Thank you,” I said. “You’re a lot like Amaryllis aren’t you? All spikey and mean on the outside, but filled with nice gooey niceness inside.”Clementine’s face took on an interesting shade of red. She turned to Amaryllis. “Your friend is an idiot. We can finally agree on something.”“Hey!” I protested.Amaryllis and Clementine both huffed and went on their way.I turned to Rosaline and cleared my throat. “Um. Rose? Hugging people is nice, but only if they want to be hugged.” Awen nodded into Rosaline’s side. The harpy woman let go. “Ah, yes, of course. Sorry Awen!” “It’s, awww, okay?” Awen said. She stood up in a hurry and brushed herself off. “I’m still not used to hugs and things like that.”Both Rosaline and I twitched towards Awen to hug her some more, but we caught ourselves. “Come on, the food will get cold!” Clementine screamed.The dining hall turned out to be an ostentatious room. One wall had a painting of a mountainscape on it that was taller than I was and had to be five meters long, while the head of the table was placed right before a large bay window overlooking a garden filled with blue and white flowers in full bloom. The table alone was probably bigger around than some people’s entire homes. It felt weird to sit down at one end of it while leaving two dozen or so chairs empty.“When the entire clan gathers this room isn’t nearly big enough,” Amaryllis explained. “My sisters and I might be from the main branch of the family, but the estate holds cousins and uncles and aunts and those they married. We have great uncles and aunts too.”“And one great-great aunt,” Rosaline added.Amaryllis nodded. “The Albatross clan has done well for itself, despite its small size.”That didn’t sound small at all. “We’re rich!” Rosaline added with a chirp. “Speaking of, did you bring more attire than what you have on you?” she asked.I shook my head. “Nope, I’m afraid not.”There was a dangerous gleam in Rosaline’s eye.And a terrified one in Amaryllis’ own.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four — Family Matters Matter
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four — Family Matters Matter I set my fork next to my plate, then leaned back into my seat with a happy little sigh. My tummy was so full that I looked like I had a food baby, so I just relaxed while rubbing it down.Across from me, Amaryllis and her sisters looked a lot more noble with the way they ate, patting their mouths with napkins and carefully cutting out little squares from their fillet mignon.“That was really good,” I said.Gen-Gen bowed from his place a few paces away from the table. “I will relate your compliments to the cooking staff, Miss Bunch.”“Oh, yeah, please do,” I said.Rosaline snorted from her spot across from me. “You would be the talk of the town if you showed up at any gathering,” she said.“Why’s that?”She grinned over at me. “Because you’re such a cute little country bumpkin. The way you eat and sit and everything is so wrong it would make some of the ladies lay kittens.”“It’s a lost cause,” Amaryllis said. “Trust me, I’ve given up trying to teach her anything that has to do with manners.”“I could learn,” I said.“I’ve no doubt,” Amaryllis said. “But I have neither the time nor the patience to teach you. And besides, you’re... decent enough as you are. No need to have you sounding pretentious and proper just to please some old birds.”“Aww, thank you Amaryllis. I love you the way you are too.”Clementine made a disgusted face while Amaryllis huffed most mightily and refused to respond to my declaration. Rosaline, on the other hand, was ecstatic. “That’s it! Big sister Rose is taking you under her wing. You too Awen, there’s more than enough room for two girls under me.”“Rose!” Clementine and Amaryllis both said.It made Rosaline giggle into the crook of her wing. “But I’m serious. I’m an excellent teacher you know? Amaryllis said you needed some training?”I nodded. “Yes! I really want to learn how to cast a bunch of spells. And Awen is learning a new sort of magic too. And she’s a mechanic that hasn’t practiced anything mechanical in a while. It’s not fair for her.”Rose returned my nod. “That’s easily remedied. We have a whole shipyard of airships under construction. I’m in charge of the entire operation, so I know a thing or two about which end of the spanner you’re supposed to hit things with.”“Awa, I couldn’t impose on you for that,” Awen said.“Nonsense! We have a workshop here.” Rosaline waved off Awen’s concern. “Are you working on any projects?”Awen brought her hands together, fingertips pressed against their opposite while she focused on her lap. “N-not really? I do have ideas. Um. Things that I think would help my friends.”“Oh, you’re so precious,” Rosaline said. “We’ll get you anything you need while you’re staying here!” She smacked the table and bounced to her feet. “Now come on! It’s time for Miss Rose to teach you girls a thing or two about magic!”I looked over to Amaryllis and she sighed. “Just go with it. She might act like... herself, but she is an exceptionally good teacher, and she is an accomplished mage in her own right.”“That’s right, I’m the best,” Rosaline declared.“It’s too bad she can’t apply any of that know-how to her lovelife,” Amaryllis fired.Rosaline crumbled under the critical hit, her ego deflating along with her entire body. “Amy, my favourite little sister, how could you?”A giggle escaped before I could stuff a hand over my mouth. I figured it was okay because Rosaline’s lips twitched up in a smile before she bounced back.“Okay, follow me, little chicks, we’re going to the atrium! Gen-Gen, is it clear?”“It is, Miss Rosaline,” the butler said with a bow. “Shall I bring the after meals to you?”“Sure!” Rosaline agreed. “Are you two coming?” she asked over to Amaryllis and Clementine.Clementine shook her head. “No. Amy and I have a few things to discuss; don’t worry, she’ll be in one piece when I’m done with her.”“I’d worry for myself, if I was you,” Amaryllis said. “I’ve passed my tenth level, you know.”Clementine snorted. “You’re cute when you try to be threatening. Keep fluffing those feathers littlest sister, you might scare a mouse.”“Whelp, those two are going to argue again,” Rosaline declared. “We’ll leave them to it.” With that, the harpy grabbed one of my hands, then she plucked one of Awen’s, and started pulling us both deeper into the house.Awen’s face took on a strange colour as she stared at the talons carefully wrapped around her hand.Poor thing. She was just getting used to my touchy-feely-ness. I’d have to ask her about it later!“This is the atrium,” Rosaline said as she presented a large, open room to us. It had a nice view of a courtyard in the back of the house and a few open doors leading into other parts of the mansion. “We call it the atrium, but it’s not. It used to be, but the house was renovated, now it’s just a sort of random room, but it’s got some nice seats and nothing irreplaceable, so it’s good for training while staying indoors.”She pulled us over to a few plush seats set near the windows and let go so that she could pull one seat over to face the others. “Okay! We’ll start with the theory and then do the practical stuff later!”“Alright!” I said as I sat down. Awen picked a seat right next to mine.“Ah, I know a bit about magic,” she said. “I had tutors. But, um, Broccoli... I mean. I don’t mind hearing it all again.”“If that’s the case... Broccoli!”“Yes?” I asked.“Explain magic to me! That way, I'll see where you're at, then I’ll use my excellent teaching abilities to turn you into a spell-flinging prodigy in no time!”I grinned from ear to ear. “Okay. I can do that,” I said.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.I wiggled my bum to find the position of optimal comfort on my seat while racking my brain to try and figure out a way to explain what I knew about magic. It was surprisingly difficult. Sure, Amaryllis had told me a thing or two, but what I’d learned had mostly been through discovery and trial and error, that made it hard to condense everything into one small explanation.“As far as I can tell, magic is when you take mana from your body or from around you, and make it do something for you. That’s the base, I think.” Rosaline nodded encouragingly. “As far as spells go, though, from what I can tell that’s about taking mana, shaping it into a specific form, then releasing it for it to carry out its spell.”I felt like someone who had only ever seen cars in movies explaining how an engine worked.Rosaline made a so-so gesture with her wings. “You’re not wrong. I have the impression you don’t know that much?”“I can kinda cast fireball,” I said. “But that’s about it. I have the Cleaning skill high enough that I can use plenty of Cleaning magic, but that doesn’t exactly teach me that much.”“That’s not so bad. What about cantrips?”“What are those?” I asked. The name rang a bell, but I wasn’t super sure.Rosaline wiggled her talons and a small flame appeared at their end. “Cantrips, like this matchstick flame, are really simple spells that let you do very small things. Not everyone can do every cantrip, but they’re usually so easy that most people will know a dozen or so.”“Oh, that’s cool,” I said. “I think Awen knows a bunch.”“Ah, I do,” Awen said. “M-most ladies know at least a few. For make-up removal, and some for cleaning blemishes, or lighting candles.”Rosaline eyed me critically for a bit. “Usually you teach cantrips to kids so that they have something to build on when they get older.”“I’m sorry. My parents weren’t big into magic. They weren’t against it or anything, but, uh, yeah.”“That’s fine!” Rosaline said. “So, one spell... and Amaryllis wrote that you’re a fairly competent fighter, if one that’s a bit creative. Are you sure you need magic to fight?”I shook my head. “I don’t want magic to be able to fight better, although that would be neat. I want magic because it’s magic.”The harpy nodded. “Then that’s a good enough reason. What about you, Awen?”“Awa, I want to learn more too. I was never taught anything past the basics for a person in my position. Um, and now I have Glass Magic Manipulation. I think my natural aspect is shifting towards that, so it would be nice to have some new spells. I’m... not very good in a fight. Not like Broccoli with her spade, or Amaryllis with her thunder magic, but I... Broccoli said that she believes in me, so I want to try my best to become better.” She stopped, huffing and puffing as if that had taken a lot out of her.Reaching over, I patted her knee to remind her that I was here.“Wonderful! I’m sure we’ll have the both of you casting like professionals by the end of the week,” Rosaline said. “So let’s start at the very start. I think learning some easy-to-cast spells would be best for now. They’ll be easier to learn and you can start using them right away.”“Alright!” I said. “I’m ready to learn, Miss Rosaline.”Rosaline crooned happily. “My young pupils are eager! I like it. So, Awen you mentioned that your aspect is shifting over to Glass?”Awen nodded.“That’s wonderful. What about you Broccoli?”“I have Cleaning aspect. Or so I’ve been told,” I said. “I think it’s from all the cleaning magic I use?”“That’s very possible,” Rosaline said. “We could teach you cleaning spells, that way you’d learn how your cleaning skill works, but they would only serve as a teaching tool, and you strike me as more of a talons-on kind of learner.“Like what?”“Cleaning is... close to Holy and not too far from Fire. There’s Water too, on the other end. I think a Holy spell might be easy enough to learn, but those aren’t always that useful.” She tapped a talon to her chin. “What kind of spell do you need?”“Um. I don’t really know? I guess... if we’re talking about fighting stuff, then I’m pretty much stuck in very close ranges. I can do ranged Cleaning magic, but that’s about it. I need to hit things from up close. I guess having something like fireball, but faster to use would be nice.”“I think that might just be up to practice. I think we have a few variations on fireball in the library. Actually, learning those might not be all that bad. There’s a way to combine aspects in spells. It’s usually pretty advanced, but I think you could learn it. Fire and Cleaning, maybe Fire and Holy. That and seeker, moving, piercing and explosive variants of fireball... they’re all quite similar, with small changes. It would teach you a lot about spell construction, and the practice to learn new versions might improve your casting speed.”I was on the edge of my seat, head nodding so hard my ears were flopping about.“And Awen. I imagine you want to combine your magic and your mechanical skills?” Rosaline asked.“Aww, yes, that would be nice.”The harpy hummed. “That can be done. Creation magic is a lot more mana-intensive than normal casting, but not that much harder to learn. We can start with marble shot. It’s a Dirt and Stone aspect spell, but I think there’s a Glass version too. Then more complicated construction spells until you figure it out and can start letting your imagination run wild.”“Awa, that sounds wonderful,” Awen said.Rosaline clapped her wings together. “Perfect! Follow me, my little students. Miss Rosaline will show you to the library, then we can go light things on fire outside.”Visiting Amaryllis’ house was definitely a great idea!
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five — Great Balls of Fire
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five — Great Balls of Fire “This is a very interesting variation on the Fireball. There’s a simple spell called Magic Projectile that has a lot of variations. A Fire Mage, Victor Wargenheimer, decided to adapt some of those to his fireball, but he did all of the work manually,” Rosaline said.“Manually?” I asked.We’d moved outside and past the pretty gardens to a courtyard that had tall stone walls all around it. It was an exercise yard, with a few weights left out, and a stomped-on track ground around the edges. The walls were pitted with little craters and divots. We wouldn’t be the first ones learning magic here, I guessed.Rosaline nodded to her two eager students, that was, myself and Awen. “Yes. See, if you were to get the Fireball skill, then all the variations of fireball and then some would come to you naturally. It’s why, while less versatile than skills like mana-manipulation, direct combat skills aren’t anything to scoff at.”I thought about that for a moment.“So if I had Fire Mana Manipulation, I could easily cast any fire spell, but I’d still need to know the spells. Whereas with the fireball skill, I would only be able to cast fireballs, but they could be all kinds of different fireballs?” I asked.“That’s it!” Rosaline said. “There’s usually more potential in wider-ranging skills, but to get to that potential requires a lot of time and work, and in the end you might still not be able to hit as hard.”I clapped my hands. “That sounds so cool.”“The middle ground are skills that encapsulate a concept based around a kind of magic. The Pyromania skill is entirely non-magical at first, but at higher tiers it cansinge off a mage with Fire Magic Manipulation’s tail feathers.”“So like my Cleaning skill,” I said.She nodded. “So, since we want to teach you some offensive skills, we’ll start with a few variations of Fireball. This one is by Wargenheimer, like I said, he created dozens of variations of an otherwise common spell manually.”I nodded. “So what do we start with?” I asked.“Let’s see you cast a normal fireball,” she said before gesturing to a well-worn wooden figure at the far end of the courtyard. It was a bit smaller than a harpy, with a pair of wings made of what looked like coat hangers on its back. “Hit the wooden sylph with yours.”“Uh,” I said. But it wasn’t the time to poke at the obvious specism, it was time for magic!I clenched my fist while pouring magic out around my hand. Then, while stepping forwards, I spun the strands of hot magic into a ball with a trailing tail.My fist shot out in the straight jab, the missile hovering behind it launching forwards with a whoosh.It crossed the courtyard, no faster than a thrown ball, and with a bit of a wobble. It zipped right past the dummy and splashed off the wall behind it.“Ah. Oops?”Rosaline giggled. “We’ll have to work on your aim too.”My face burned in the dummy’s stead. “I guess so. My cleaning magic is a lot easier to aim with.” I threw another punch and a ball of cleaning magic zipped out of my fist, shot across the courtyard faster than the eye could track, and smacked against the dummy with the strength of a spoon smacking someone’s hand when they were reaching for the cookie jar.Rosaline tilted her head to one side. “Combat Cleaning magic. Not something you see every day. And... not that effective, it seems.”“It works on some things,” I defended. “And it’s really handy. I can go entire weeks without showering.”“B-Broccoli, you’re not supposed to tell people that.”Rosaline blinked a few times. “Well. Okay. Right! Fireball variations.” We had stopped by the house’s huge library for a bit so that Rosaline could gather a few books. She pulled one of those out and used the tabs set into the pages to find the one she was looking for. “This is the one I want you to practice with.”I eyed the open page before me.Wargenheimer’s Multicast FireballA staple variation of the standard Fireball spell. Sacrificing power for the ability to cast the same spell up to three times with a single cast. Increased mana cost and standard casting time.The rest of the page had a few illustrations that showed what the spell was meant to look like. It was, for the most part, a normal fireball. Or rather, three of them. Each was linked by a thin filament of mana that I recognized as the ‘trigger’ to the normal fireball only wrapped around to all three.“Oh, that’s clever,” I said.“It might help with your aim a little,” Rosaline said. “Next is this one.”Wargenheimer’s Sticking FireballA staple variation of the standard Fireball spell. By combining the standard Fire-attuned magic with Sticking-attuned mana, the spell loses most of its damage on impact, but will spread across the impact area and burn until its mana runs out.“Uh,” I said. That sounded a lot like firing a ball of flaming napalm. Awesome. “What’s Sticking attuned mana?”Rosaline blinked. “Ah... darn.”“W-what is it?” Awen asked.“I forgot to explain metaphysical mana,” Rosaline said. She huffed. If she was Amaryllis, it would be a ‘I’m disappointed in myself but won’t admit it’ kind of huff, but I wasn’t sure if the sister’s huffs translated perfectly. “Well, whatever. There are kinds of mana for nearly everything. The most common, of course, are the physical ones. Dirt, fire, air, water, things that are part of nature, then we see less common but still physical things. Lightning, Glass, Metals, Ash. those are still tangible. But what about things like Cleaning? Can you fill a bucket with cleanliness?”“Um, I guess not,” I said.“Exactly. You can’t grab a fistfull of justice, or a pot full of love, but those are kinds of mana, they are legitimate fuels for spellwork. They’re just a lot harder to wrap your talons around.”“So there is Friendship aspect mana!” I said.“Of course there is,” Rosaline said. “It’s probably really hard to make and use, but it definitely exists.”Could I combine Friendship magic with Fireballs?I tightened my fists.I would combine Friendship magic with Fireballs.“Awa, Broccoli, you look scary.”Rosaline snorted. “You look like Amaryllis when she’s discovered a particularly explosive spell. Anyway. Sticking attuned mana is mana that embodies the idea of... stickiness. I think you could replace that with Cleaning magic. They’re far apart, but functionally they’re similar enough.”Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.I nodded. “That sounds doable. What will the fireball do if I replace the sticky bits with clean bits?”Rosaline shrugged. “I have no idea! It’ll be great, I’m sure. There’s this last one.”She flipped over a few pages and tapped another spell with the tip of her tallon.Wargenheimer’s Delayed-Cast FireballA staple variation of the standard Fireball spell. More of a technique than an actual unique spell, the Delayed-Cast Fireball allows the caster to launch a series of fireballs in rapid succession after preparing a set of components for each spell and assembling them in rapid succession. Overall cast time is usually the same as casting individual fireballs, but it allows the user to cast them all in quick succession.The rest of the page had a lot more diagrams on it than the ones before.“This one’s a bit unique. See, instead of making the spell and then casting it, you make all the parts for four or five, then assemble and fire them all quickly. In the time it takes to fire four fireballs, you’ll fire four. But all four will be fired with only seconds between them.”I... kind of understood. “It’s more about rapid firing over sustained fire, then,” I said.“Exactly,” she said with a dangerous grin. “You wouldn’t imagine the amount of trouble you can get in or out of when you can punch above your weight for just a few seconds.”I grinned right back. There was an understanding between Rosaline and I in that moment.“Awa, now you’re both scary,” Awen said.I snorted, then broke out into giggles. “Will you be showing me how to cast this spell?” I asked.“I don’t think so? I think you should figure it out for yourself. Start with the multicast Fireballs first, at least until you run out of mana. I’ll be with Awen for a bit. Glass magic is a lot trickier.”I nodded and took the book so that I had something to reference. I’d be very careful with it and would do my best not to light it on fire.“You know a lot about magic,” I said.“Amy probably knows more, actually. She was always dreaming of being an archmagus when she grew up.” Rosealine’s smile turned wistful. “It’s... not exactly something she was encouraged to become. But now she’s gone and become a Thundere. Past her first tier even. I don’t doubt that in a few years she’ll be tearing apart landscapes with great blasts of thunder and lightning. She’ll make us proud, but in her own way.”I pulled Rosaline into a quick hug. “You seem like a good big sister,” I said. “I wish I had a big sister, one that was just like you.” I pulled back to see Rosaline’s face all flushed. “Amaryllis is real lucky.”“Ah, well... I wouldn't mind a little sister like you,” she said before rudely patting the top of my helmet right between my ears. “And you too, Awen!”Rose pulled Awen into a hug, because she’d gone without for entire minutes.“Unless you’d like to be something more?” Rosaline asked, her voice turning strange.Awen’s entire body froze up and her face went very red. She looked like someone having a hard time breathing. I worried for a moment but she soon got her breath back. “Ah-awa.”“So cute!” Rosaline said. “Come! I’m giving you your lesson one-on-one. Glass magic is real tricky, or so I’ve heard.”I watched the girls move over a little ways away, I could still hear them talking, Rosaline jumping right into a practical demonstration with Awen. She was being very encouraging.Maybe Amaryllis did know more about magic, but her sister was definitely the better teacher. And she was supposed to be a big business woman too. Maybe she had missed out on her true calling, on the thing that she was passionate about. I wondered if that was why she didn’t seem to begrudge Amaryllis running off to do her own thing?I set that aside for the moment and looked at the instructions for the first new kind of fireball I was meant to learn. Though really, it was more like a normal fireball, but in triplicate.I held a palm up before me and started to form one, then two, then three. It was slow going, slower than just making one entire fireball by far.It had been a lot easier to cast a spell while I was moving. A side-effect of my Way of the Mystic Bun, maybe? It had merged with my Physical Manakinesis.Trying cost nothing. I cupped a ball of hot almost-fire mana in my hand, then I rolled it in the air like a ball of dough. With a flick of my wrist and a bit of concentration I turned it into an unfired Fireball.That had been a lot faster.I let it fly across the yard where it hit the ground a meter ahead of the dummy with a dull ‘thwump.’So, motion made crafting a spell easier. That... made sense. I’d always been a little bit of a tactile learner.I made a couple more Fireballs and let them fly across the yard. One of them even came close to the dummy.The multicast was the same as a single fireball, but three times at the same time. I scrunched my nose and took a gander at my mana.Mana 85 / 125Plenty left in the tank.Nodding to myself, I imagined juggling with a trio of balls, the metallic sort that made cool noises when you rubbed them together. I’d played with something like that once, large marbles that could be spun by waving your palm around with a slithery motion.I tried that with some plain old Cleaning mana. It took some doing, but I managed to create three spheres. Then all I had to do was shove my arm out while creating three tails onto the balls and they would launch ahead and across the yard. The three taps of the spells hitting the dummy head on were wonderful.But that was Cleaning magic.I started doing the same thing, but with Fire-aspect mana. The circular motion was just shy of being uncomfortable as heat washed over my palm.The first try ended in complete failure. I ‘eeped’ as the triple fireball burped apart in my hand.The next attempt exploded a meter ahead of me.The third launched one deformed fireball, and one tiny fireball that flew off into the sky until it fizzled out way above me.I cheered. I was getting so close!
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six — Relationship of Fools
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six — Relationship of Fools Rosaline put a stop to our practice after an hour or so. She said that it wouldn’t do for us to be all sweaty and tired and mana-drained on the same night that we arrived, and that we had the rest of our lives to practice with magic.It sounded like a fair point to me. And we still had a bunch of the estates to explore.“This way!” Rosaline said as she pointed to a gathering of buildings off near the far end of the estate. She slipped a wing under my arm, then did the same to Awen and dragged us both towards the buildings.Unlike all the others in the estate, these had steel walls and tin roofs. The few windows they had were long and narrow and too high to see into from the ground floor.“These are the workshops,” Rosaline said. “They don’t get as much use as they once did, but they’re kept clean and ready, just in case.”She moved us over to the front of one of the workshops where a pair of heavy doors on rails waited. Rosaline finally let go of us to tug the door open.“Oh, wow,” Awen said as she took in the interior of the first workshop.Racks of tools and machinery lined the walls of the cavernous building. Chains dangled from mounts on the ceiling and, with a touch to a rune from Rosaline, a row of glowing stones lit up to reveal even more machines lurking in the dark. “This is workshop one,” Rosaline said. “This is the one for smaller things. The other two are a bit less generalized. One is entirely dedicated to working on gravitic engines for airships.”Awen stepped up behind Rosaline and carefully laid a hand against the side of what I suspected was a drill-press. “Wow,” she said again.Rosaline laughed. “I’m glad you like it! Amaryllis said that you were a Wyrmgineer in her letters, so I was looking forward to showing you all of this.”“Awa, are you a mechanic too?” Awen asked.Rosaline shook her head. “Nope. But I dabble. Most of the hoity-toity types think that it’s too crass for a lady to play with big machines, but I think that they’re all quite silly. Plus I run the biggest airshipyard in the kingdom. If I couldn’t tell a spanner apart from a wrench I’d be in a heap of trouble.”Awen laughed, but I think I missed the joke. “You’re that important?” Awen asked. She slapped her hands over her mouth with a gasp. “And we’re taking so much of your time. I’m sorry!”Rosaline snorted and waved the comment off. “Nah. It’s fine. You’re my sister’s friends, aren’t you? That makes you my friends too! Plus some of my work is really boring, and if I put it off long enough, someone else usually gets it done for me! Making new friends is much more fun.”I nodded sagely.“I guess that someone as pretty and talented as Miss Rose must have a lot of friends already,” Awen said.I held back a giggle as a scarlet blush raced across Rosaline’s face. Awen could be so earnest sometimes. It was cute!Awen rushed ahead and over to another rack of tools. She ran her fingers over all of them, then turned towards Rosaline and I with an ear-splitting grin on. "Can I really use all of these?" she asked.Rosaline nodded. "Sure thing! I'd ask that you try to keep things clean, but otherwise have fun. There are some bins with stuff in the back if you need materials. Or you can ask Gen-Gen. He can scrounge up stuff in no time."I think that if I were Awen at the moment, I'd be dancing a happy little jig. But Awen was a lot more reserved. She only clasped her hands together and smiled even harder. "Thank you. I've always dreamed of working in a place like this. There are so many things that I’ve wanted to try making. I... I’ll have to work as hard as I can while I can. Is... is there anything you need?""Well," Rosaline said, her voice turning a little strange. "I could use a bedwarmer.""Okay!"Rosaline's face flushed again. "I was joking!"Awen blinked. "Oh. I thought you wanted me to build you something to sleep with? I could make something with a warming rune and some water maybe?" She turned to eye all the tools, almost as if she was planning to start already.Rosaline wiggled her wings in denial. “No, no it’s... urgh, how are you this innocent?”It was Awen’s turn to flush. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t let out much until Broccoli saved me. If I didn’t understand something, it’s entirely my fault. I’d appreciate it if you could teach me. Awa, but you’re so busy. I’m sorry again!”Rosaline sighed. “I’m going to hug you now, okay?”“Awa?” Awen said a moment before Rosaline pulled her into a big feathery hug. “Miss Rose?” Awen asked. She didn’t seem averse to the hug though.“You’re just too much. Both of you.” She shook her head as she pulled back out of the embrace. “But you most of all. You remind me way too much of myself. For a long time the family didn’t approve of me doing things the way I wanted to. It got better though. And I’m sure it’ll get better for you too.”“Oh, it has!” Awen said. “Ever since I joined Broccoli and Amaryllis, I’ve had adventures, and I’ve flown with dragons, I went in dungeons and I went up a few levels too. I couldn’t be happier unless...” She glanced my way, blushed up a bit, then turned her attention back to Rosaline. “Awa. I just c-couldn’t be happier.”This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.I grinned back at her. I was about to hug her too, and then maybe I’d hug Rosaline for good measure, when something scuffed the ground behind me.I turned to find Amaryllis standing by the entrance. She looked around the workshop curiously before focusing on Rosaline. “I do hope you’re doing more than flirting with my friends.”“Flirting?” Awen asked.Amaryllis raised a brow. “Courting, wooing, teasing?” she said.Awen shook her head. “N-no, she wasn’t doing anything like that. We’re all girls. Girls can’t.” she paused to take a breath. “Girls can’t do that with girls.”Amaryllis let out an amused huff. “Tell that to my degenerate sister.”“Hey! It’s perfectly okay,” Rosaline said. She turned towards Awen with a reassuring smile. “It’s uncommon, but not unheard of here for two women to marry. After all, the only thing you need to fertilize an egg is some random man off the street.”“Humans are a bit more uptight, Rose,” Amaryllis said.Rosaline shrugged. “I know. I have to deal with them all the time. Did you come here to show these two to their rooms?”Amaryllis nodded. “Something like that. You can keep flirting with Awen if you want, it’s mostly Broccoli that I need.”“Don’t mind if I do!” Rosaline said as she pulled Awen closer. “So, tell me about all these great ideas you have. You must have picked up all sorts while out adventuring.”I hesitated for a bit. But Rosaline didn’t strike me as the sort that would do anything to hurt someone, and if she was, Amaryllis wouldn’t leave her alone with Awen. I followed Amaryllis out of the workshop while waving Awen goodbye.“So, what’s up?” I asked.She looked at me strangely, then looked to the sky. “I presume you’re not talking about the sky.”I shook my head. “Nope. I mean, what’s going on?”“Ah. I had a... discussion with Clementine and... it was productive. We’re still going to be here for a week or more before things are ready. I heard you were training with Rosaline?”“We did! Your sister seems nice.”Amaryllis nodded. “She is. Rosaline has a lot of, as crass as it may sound, love to give. She’s always been the sort to chafe at the way we’re supposed to act. Somehow, she won out. No one bats an eye anymore when she disregards propriety. I suspect that you’d be the same.”“I like her,” I said. “If we do more practice stuff, will you be there? It wouldn’t be fun with just one of my best friends.”Amaryllis huffed. “Moron. Of course I’ll be there. My own skills are growing dull with disuse. And besides, Rosaline has work. She should be there now, but as usual she ran away from her responsibilities.”“Didn’t someone say that your family’s airship company is doing really well?” I asked.She nodded. “It is. My sister can convince the stingiest man to empty his coffers with little more than a smile and a pat on the cheek. She’s sold entire air fleets at a mark-up and the clients left in a good mood.”We reached the main building in the middle of the estate and were greeted by a harpy in a maid’s outfit. She bowed to us and led us through the building. “Did you grow up with staff like this?” I asked.“Of course,” Amaryllis said.“It must have been hard to remember all of those names and such. I couldn’t imagine it.”She rolled her eyes, then gestured down a corridor. “That’s the guest wing. Pick one of the rooms. I think they’re all ready.”I nodded, then pulled Amaryllis after me. The maid ahead of us didn’t seem to know what to do, so I smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up. “We just need to talk,” I said.When we were in the privacy of one of the rooms, a very pretty room, with a big four-poster bed, lots of wooden furniture, and a nice view of the city to one side, I pushed the door closed and then sigh.“I’m sorry? I want to talk.”“That’s... fine?” Amaryllis said.I asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue. “Will your sister be nice to Awen?”Amaryllis huffed. “Of course she will. If anything it might help Awen a little. The girl’s been getting better, but it’s slow-going.”I nodded. “It would be nice if it works out. I... haven’t known what to do.”“What to do about what?” Amaryllis asked. She looked like someone walking on the other side of the fence from a rabid dog, not sure if she should keep moving forwards.I shrugged and crossed my arms against the cold. “About Awen.”“You noticed?” she asked.“I’m an idiot about some things, Amaryllis, but I’m pretty good with social stuff. It’s just that... I couldn’t think of a way to make everyone happy, so I kept putting it off. Was that wrong?”Amaryllis worked her jaw. “Probably not. You let her stew though.”“If I’d pressed the issue, she might have wanted to run away or something. I don’t want to lose a friend, and I don’t know how well she would do all on her own.” I shivered. “It was making me feel like a bit of a bad person.”Amaryllis eyed me for a moment, then, carefully, pulled me under one of her wings. “You’re an idiot, Broccoli Bunch.”I snorted. “Thanks Amaryllis. You’re the best.”“I am,” she said. “Don’t worry about Awen. We’ll figure it out, all three of us. That’s how you like things done, isn’t it?”I grinned. I had the best best friends.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Sugar and Spice
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Sugar and Spice Breakfast the next morning was a little tense. We had little scones with butter and some beans, a few bowls of some sort of grain that was cooked in a light oil and some hardy greens to go with it all.I sat next to Amaryllis, Clementine took the head of the table and across from us, and Rosaline perched on the edge of a chair next to Awen. Clementine was eating as if she was a machine, her eyes scanning over some pages stacked next to her meal while her younger sister, Rosaline, had big bags under her eyes and seemed to miss her mouth with every-other spoonful.Awen seemed a bit distracted too. She was looking to me, then to Rosaline with an expression that I couldn’t pin.It made for a very quiet breakfast, which was just unacceptable.“So! What’re we doing today?”That jolted Rosaline awake. Her head was halfway to her plate already. “Work!” She said.I couldn’t snort because I had a mouthful of grains and that would have made a mess, but I did chuckle a bit.Amaryllis, on the other hand, just huffed fondly. “Finish your breakfast, you moron,” she said. “Did you plan on sleeping the day away at work?”“She’d better not,” Clementine grumbled without looking away from her papers.Rosaline yawned huge. “Yup. Got a sofa in my office and everything. Oh! Didn’t you girls need to come to the docks at some point? Clem-Clem mentioned something about that.”Clementine nodded. “They do. Their mission requires a subtle, unobtrusive way to enter Sylph skies. We can’t let them just ride along with some merchants. Too much of a risk there.”“Are we getting our own airship?” I asked.“No,” Amaryllis shot down my dream. “We’re getting a ship to bring us to Sylphfree and back. It’ll probably be one of the family’s ships.”“So we don’t get to keep it?” I asked.Rosaline giggled. “Maybe! Who knows? We have a few old sloops and skiffs.’“We are not sailing all the way over the Trenten Flats in a skiff,” Amaryllis said. “Neither of these two know anything about sailing, and while I don’t doubt that Awen would pick it up, Broccoli is likely to dash us into a mountain or capsize us in something as light as a skiff.” She huffed again, but this time it was an irritated huff. “Isn’t there a yacht free?”“You’re not taking a yacht,” Clementine said. “You’re meant to be subtle, and that would be the opposite.”Rosaline waved her wing in the air. “We’ll see what’s free. We got a few ships that came into the breakers.”“What are those?” I asked.Amaryllis was the one to answer. “It’s where old, dilapidated, broken down ships are sent to be scrapped.”“That would be perfect,” Clementine said. “Some old rust bucket that no one would look at twice.”“Are you trying to get us killed?” Amaryllis asked.“You haven’t seen the ship yet. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Clementine looked up from her paper and grinned. “Don’t be an idiot.”The two sisters started a nice friendly round of morning bickering while the maids and butlers, all looking very fresh and snazzy in their uniforms, came around to bring us some tea and such. I thanked the maid placing things next to my plate, then turned to Rosaline who seemed a bit more awake.“I really like those maid dresses. Do you think I could get one of those little hats fitted for my ears?”“Awa,” Awen whispered.“Oh, I’m sure you could,” Rosaline said. “But before that, you’ll need some proper clothes.”“I guess?” I said.She shook her head. “No no, proper-proper. Clem-Clem said that we’re going to a big to-do with all the important birds that are heading to the diplomatic meeting. You’ll need to dress all presentable-like to go.” Rosaline grinned the smug self-satisfied grin of someone that was about to play a trump card. “I can wear whatever because my reputation is so terrible. Maybe one of those maid dresses. They certainly get a reaction out of Awen here.”I smiled right back. “Maybe we can dress her up like that?”“N-no, that would be, it would be inappropriate,” Awen said with much arm flailing.Rosaline and I giggled over the sounds of Amaryllis and Clementine’s escalating argument.I looked over and made sure that Amaryllis was still taking some time to eat and noted that they had a sort of system where one of them would take a few nibbles while the other called them dumb, then they would finish eating and switch.Sisterly love was so beautiful!Rosaline smacked the table twice, then bounced to her feet. “Right, I’m done with breakfast. Come along my little chicks, it’s time to show you the world of airshipping.”I pushed my empty plate aside and jumped to my feet too. “Alright! I’m ready. By this time tomorrow, I’ll be Sky Captain Bunch.”Amaryllis squawked mid-argument and turned to me. “If you think for a moment that I’d let you be the captain, you’re pulling at the wrong tail feathers.”“You don’t have tail feathers,” I said. “But I do have a tail.” I wiggled my floof as proof. “Which means that I get to be the captain.”“That wasn’t even an argument!”Soon, a few more of the nice staff people came and took our plates away, and then we all shuffled off to finish getting ready for the morning. Now that Rosaline was awake, she was making quite a bit of noise, like a small feathery tornado set in the middle of the room. No one seemed to mind though, and the staff were all smiles as she hugged some of them and begged others for stuff with big eyes.Clementine just walked off to somewhere else in the house, which kind of left me and Awen and Amaryllis just standing there.“Do you want to show us your room?” I asked Amaryllis.Stolen story; please report.“You make it sound so juvenile,” she complained.I nodded. “That’s what makes it fun! Come on, I bet we’ll learn all sorts of things about you!”“You hardly need to see my room. What do you expect to find there?I tapped my chin. “People’s rooms can be very important. They’re that person’s most private place, so they’re very special. I wish I could show you mine. I had a lot of cool posters and a huge bookcase and even a little desk with a broken laptop. Oh, and some paintings!”“Ah, you paint?” Awen asked.I nodded. “I do. I watched all of Bob Ross.”“Um?”Amaryllis huffed, rolled her eyes, and folded like a piece of soggy paper. “Fine. I suppose I ought to show you myself before Rosaline or Clementine think to use it as blackmail. But if I hear one snicker from either of you, I’m practicing my puppetry with your bodies.” She led us both through the house. We had to climb up one of the sweeping circular staircases to the second floor and march down a corridor before we reached her room.She paused before her door, a talon over the curved handle.“You won’t mock me, right?” she asked.I couldn’t help but smile. She sounded a bit different, a bit more vulnerable. And yet she was willing to show us.I wrapped my hands around her waist from behind and tucked my face in the crook of her neck. Even my ears joined in the hug, wrapping around the top of Amaryllis’ head like a furry crown.“Get off me, you moron,” Amaryllis grumbled weakly.Once hugging time was temporarily set aside, Amaryllis spun the door handle and pushed into her room.Awen and I followed only to pause a step in.“Whoa,” I said.The room was bright. The walls were pink. Not the neon pink I was used to, but a soft pink with beige and cream highlights, with the occasional touch of soft pastel blues. The paintings on every wall were of flowery fields and open skies, while the curtains and drapes and even the bedding were all covered in little flowers.Amaryllis stood to one side, arms crossed and face burning as we took in her room.Half of her bed was covered in a sea of dolls and plushies of animals and fantastic creatures. One-a plushie of one of those flying whales-was as big around as I was.“Wow,” I said. It was the girliest place I’d ever seen.I stared at Amaryllis who was wearing brown pants and a black shirt under her familiar leather jacket, her goggles dangling over her neck. She looked for all the world like a punk ready to chew someone out.“Wow,” I heard Awen repeat.“It was a phase, that’s all,” Amaryllis said.“You liked cute things,” I said. “That’s... okay. It’s okay to like cute things. Right Awen?”“Awa, yes? I, ah, I like cute things.”“Shut up, both of you,” Amaryllis said. “I’m over it now. I just didn’t have time to change my room up and the servants kept it this way.”“She’s lying!” Rosaline sing-songed from the door. “She had plenty of time!”“Rose!” Amaryllis snapped.The older harpy slid into the room and pulled Amaryllis into a big birdy hug. “Don’t worry. Your friends won’t think you’re any less cool just because you’re the girliest girl who's ever girled. Some of them even like girls a lot.”“Are we going to the airshipyard now?” I asked. I couldn’t stop myself from rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet.Rosaline let go of Amaryllis to glomp onto me. “We are!” she cheered a moment before grabbing my hand. “C’mon, let’s go! The coach is waiting for us! You can mock Amaryllis while we go.”I shook my head. “I’d never mock Amaryllis, even if she had a side of herself she wasn’t ready to show us until now. It’d be awful to betray a friend’s trust like that.”“Idiot,” Amaryllis grumbled.I reached back and pulled her talon, and she, with a roll of her eyes, caught on to what I wanted and grabbed Awen’s hand next. We formed a little line as we moved through the house and out the front where a carriage was parked in the entranceway.I hopped on, then helped Awen up while my harpy friends flapped aboard.There were a pair of big stout horses at the front, both connected by reins to the front of the carriage where a young harpy boy in a spiffy outfit was waiting for us to settle down. As soon as all our butts were planted in place, he whistled and we were off.“The yards are a pretty dangerous place,” Rosaline said. “There are lots of machines and big moving parts. So stick close to me. We won’t be venturing into the most dangerous parts, but it’s best to stay safe.”“Okay,” I said. “I’ll keep all legs and arms and ears close until you say it’s safe.”Rosaline snorted and nodded. “Sure! I bet you’ll love it. It’s very noisy and chaotic. And there are a lot of very fit young men and women in sweaty uniforms.”Both Awen and the carriage driver choked at the same time.“Can we talk about literally anything else?” Amaryllis asked.I nodded. “So, which one of your plushies is your favourite?”“What?” Amaryllis asked. “What kind of dumb question is that?”“I had a teddy bear I liked a bunch. I slept with him every night. I didn’t bring him when I came here for adventure though.”“Please don’t compare me to you,” Amaryllis said.Rosaline leaned forwards. “It’s that one that looks like a harpy. I think it looks a lot like Clem-Clem, and it has these little joints, like a puppet.”“Rose,” Amaryllis warned.“I checked in on her last night and she was sleeping with it.”“Rose!“She had it cuddled up against her chest and was muttering about you two while hugging it.”I’d never seen Amaryllis’ face turn such an interesting shade before. “Rose!” she squeaked.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Avianation
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Avianation Once, a long time ago, I’d gone on a field trip with my school to an aerospace museum. It was only a half-day trip, coordinated by a bunch of parent volunteers, and it was free so my parents didn’t have to sit me down and explain why I couldn’t go like they had with other trips.I had loved every minute of it. The planes were so big. The newer ones were all sleek and shiny and the old ones just had so much panache and this weird aesthetic that screamed ‘functional yet pretty’ that I’d never seen in modern stuff. Best of all, everything was so big. It was enough to make a small Broccoli gape all day.My neck hurt for half a week from the strain of looking up so much! It was wonderful!The memory of that day came back in force as Rosaline pushed open a pair of doors and led us into the front of a huge building. The Albatross Aeronautics main building was a big blocky thing with a lot of windows on its front. Behind it was a huge compound surrounded by metal fencing that stopped people from wandering into a yard where two dozen baby airships were coming together.“This,” Rosaline said as she spun around, her wings held high around her. “Is the showroom!”I gasped.The entrance room had ships in it. Not full-size airships, but a dozen or so airships the size of vans, with teeny tiny rigging and itty bitty sails and little figurines glued onto their decks and sides. They were tethered in place by some cords, but still bobbed and juked around in the air.There were little podiums below each ship holding up a brass plaque. I skipped over to the first and leaned over it to read.Presenting the Albatross Aeronautics Astute-Class Destroyer!This light destroyer is a fearsome warrior of the skies! Capable of speeds up to fifty-five knots, the Astute can keep up with any modern cargo vessel and its four weapons platforms will give even the most daring pirate a reason to think twice!I looked up to the ship above me, noting the plaque on its side that read Astute in pretty gilded letters. The ship looked to be half wood and half metal, with a sleek pair of balloons above it and two metal platforms jutting out of the front with a big ballista mounted atop each of them.“So cool,” I said.“Isn’t it?” Rosaline said. “I wanted to name them something nicer, but the board is filled with boring old birds who want things sounding bland and officious. Apparently warships shouldn’t be named after birds or flowers or some dog I petted that morning.”“That’s too bad,” I said as I spun around to take in the other ships. Some looked a lot more utilitarian and a bit square, while others, especially the warships, had sleek prows and a lot more metal on their bodies. They even tended to have more gilding and railings with shiny trim along the sides and especially at the back where the castle was.“This room was my idea,” Rosaline said with obvious pride. “The old ones whined and complained until it started to drive up sales, then I rubbed the fact that they complained in their faces so that they couldn’t pretend that they were onboard with the idea the entire time.”“Um,” I said. That sounded a bit too political for me. “It sounds like you have to do a lot of work.”“She does,” Amaryllis said. “And yet she manages to not do half of it.”“I work very hard to find the best ways not to work and yet still get things done,” Rosaline said. “It’s why I only hire the best, most hardworking people to do my work for me.”I blinked at that. “Okay,” I said. “How much for a ship like that one?”Pointing up, I gestured to the biggest ship in the room. It was an Adamant-Class Battleship. It was, judging by the hundreds of inch-tall figures on its many decks, the size of a small castle. Unlike the other ships, it didn’t have a balloon above it, but it was rather bulbous, so I figured the balloons were probably inside it.“We never actually built one of those,” Rosaline said. “Though we have started negotiations for one. It’ll cost nearly twenty-thousand gold just for the materials to start the project.”I winced. That was more than the eight I had. “Darn. I bet that one’s big enough to build a house with a fence on the deck.”“Uh,” Rosaline said. “Probably?” She shook her head. “Nevermind that! Come on, we can take one of the movers over to the wrecking yard. I’m sure I can bug my engineers into fixing up one of those smaller ships for your trip in no time flat.”I skipped after Rose, my other friends following after at a more boring pace. “What’s a move?” I asked.“Well, we installed these big platforms a few years ago that go up and down and carry materials. The shipyard is built in a dozen levels, you see. Anyway, I asked if we could have platforms that move from side to side too, and the answer was, as always, ‘if you have the gold for it.’ So now we have moving platforms. I named them moves because they move you, and the ones that go up and down are called lifts because they lift you.”“Don’t they also bring you down?”“That’s what I said! But they said calling them ‘drops’ would be a bad idea.”I nodded. That made sense.We crossed the building, Rosaline waving and sometimes even hugging the occasional office harpy until we stumbled out of the back and walked over to a place that had a bunch of moves all lined up atop some rails. Moves, as it turned out, had rails all around them and a small engine at the back.Rosaline flagged down a young harpy boy in a newsboy cap and grease-stained overalls and he jumped onto the move’s controls.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.With a hiss of steam from the move’s engine, we were off at a blistering pace that I could have outwalked.“These aren’t very fast,” I pointed out as I hung off the edge and watched the rails slide past below.“Nope,” Rosaline said. “But they can carry a lot. Real handy for moving parts around the yards.”I hummed agreeably and decided to just take in the sights. There were cranes overhead, some of them moving big pallets covered in stuff, others were holding onto the skeletal frames of airships coming together bit by bit.Those frames had entire teams of workers crawling over them and laying out tarps and wooden planks with easy efficiency. There were flashes sometimes as little welders went off, and the constant pinging clang of hammers meeting metal.Even the air smelled like new stuff, probably from the piles of fresh lumber and the long sheets of folded tarp being moved around on dollies by burly harpy men.“You work in the coolest place,” I said.Rosaline grinned, then she pointed to the side. “That’s our lift!”We hopped off the move and walked over to a place where a few lifts were waiting. I slowed down so that I was between Awen and Amaryllis. “This place is great, isn’t it?”Amaryllis nodded. “It’s an impressive use of the clan’s logistical might, a symbol of our current prosperity and one of the ways that the Albatross are making a mark not only in the Nesting Kingdom, but across Dirt.”“Aw... I think it’s very nice? The ships are a bit bigger than Uncle’s Shady Lady though.”I nodded. “Yeah, I guess the Shady Lady is more of a personal sort of ship, made to go on adventures and such, while those big ones are all big important ships for big important things. Do you think we could man a ship with just the three of us?”“Woman, more like,” Amaryllis said.I blinked, then let out a giggle. “Did you make a pun?” I asked.“No, I merely corrected you,” she said.“With a pun.”“It wasn’t a pun,” Amaryllis said.“Awa, I think it was.”“Puns are crass and a kind of humour reserved for fools and idiots,” Amaryllis declared.I wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her in for a side hug. “We still love you, even if you’re a fool and an idiot who makes puns.”She broke out of the hug with much wing flapping and protesting. I shared a look with Awen and we both worked hard not to laugh too much.Rosaline was smiling as she waited by one of the lifts. It looked like she’d shooed off a bunch of workers so that she could use it herself, which I guessed was a perk of being the boss.The lift brought us down with a rattle of chains and a few bumpy little skips, but it seemed sturdy enough. That all faded from my thoughts as we came down a level and into a huge room, the biggest I’d ever seen in my life. As it turned out, the ground level of the shipyards was built off of the side of the mountain, and now we were heading under it in a world filled with pillars and struts that held up the shipyard.Large hangers held airships, some looking brand new, while a few were going through some repairs. As we dipped lower, the ships started to look a bit rougher.“This is the shipbreaking level,” Rosaline said as she gestured. There were maybe a dozen airships in all, which was still an impressive number of ships to see. “These are all decommissioned ships that will be stripped for parts. There aren’t all that many yet. The business is too new for that, but I’m sure by the time we’re all old, the first and second generation of ships will all pass away in a place like this.”“That’s a bit sad,” I said as I took in the ships due to be broken down. They did look older, with more wooden constructions and a lot less flair in their appearance.All except for one.It caught my eye like gold glinting atop fresh snow.It wasn’t the biggest ship. Far from it, in fact. The thing was maybe half again as long as the Shady lady, though it was quite a bit wider. It probably owed that to the fact that it had two hulls instead of just the one, each one connected to the one next to it by a web of gantries and pipes and ropes.At the end of its twin prows were two figureheads. Not of pretty naked women, but of a pair of stately, top-hat wearing ducks with their wings outstretched and holding up a pair of rusty... knives?There had been a coat of yellow paint over its hull once, but it was chipping off all over, as if the ship had spent too much time in the wind and weather, and the back end, with its two little cabins, had more rust on it than was probably proper.There was only one big oblong balloon, and it was deflated. The only thing holding the ship up was a large gantry crane beneath it, but that didn’t matter. I could still imagine it resting in the air in defiance of gravity.“Broccoli? Broc?”I blinked and looked over to Amaryllis. She pointed to one side where a nice, simple ship was resting. It was... plain, but functional-looking. “We’re going to check that one out.”“What about that one?” I asked as I pointed to the ship that had caught my eye.She stared. “Broccoli, I might not know as much about ships as my dearest sister, but that thing looks like it very much belongs here.”“I don’t know. I think it’s beautiful,” I said. “It has character.”Rosaline made her way closer. “Yeah. That class never took off though. Too many problems.”“See, it’s problematic. Now, that one over there only needs a bit of repair work to get going,” Amaryllis said.“What’s her name?” I asked Rosaline.She grinned. “Her name, dearest Broccoli, is the Beaver Cleaver.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Nine — The Party Boat is Already Split
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Nine — The Party Boat is Already Split We reached the gantry next to the Beaver Cleaver and paused. “Did you want to get aboard first, Captain Bunch?” Rosaline asked. Her big smile only grew bigger when Amaryllis harrumphed from somewhere behind me.“I’d love to!” I said.With a hop, I bounced up and onto the deck, landing on it with a dull thump of shoes meeting wood.The Beaver Cleaver was an interesting ship. There were two decks connected together in the middle, with only a bridge allowing for passage between them. It meant that while the ship was actually pretty wide, it didn’t have all that much space atop it.It was definitely bigger than the Shady Lady though not nearly as big as the Silver Boot. I liked it. There weren’t any weapons aboard, but there were lots of spools and ties for ropes and sails tucked into the sides.“Broccoli!” Rosaline called out. “Lower the gangplank!”“Right!” I called back.Rosaline walked up the plank without a care in the world, but Amaryllis and Awen came together, with Awen clasped on tight to Amaryllis’ side.Was she afraid of heights? Or was it the way the plank was swaying a lot over a hundred-foot drop that worried her?“Captain Bunch welcomes you aboard!” I said while giving the girls a salute.“Idiot,” was Amaryllis’ quick reply.“Awa, I’m glad to be on your ship, Captain Bunch,” Awen said. “It’s very... nice?”Rosaline shook her head. “It needs a lot of love, but it has some good... ah... ideas behind it.”I lowered my hand and took in the state of the Beaver, it could definitely use some cleaning up. “It’s a cool ship, but yeah, it needs some help. Do you think we could fix it up?”Rosaline’s anwer was a huge grin. “Why not? It would be interesting, at the very least. This ship never even had a maiden voyage you know? It would be a shame to wreck it without at least knowing how the design handles.”“Huh? It was never used?”The harpy shook her head. “Nope.” She patted one of the rails, then grimaced as some paint flaked off and stuck to her. “This ship has a bit of a weird story. More like a joke among those in the know.”“Tell us!” I cheered. If I really was going to be a captain, and of the Beaver Cleaver no less, then I certainly wanted to know the ship’s story.Rosaline pointed to the other side of the ship. “Want to talk on the port deck? It’s got benches.”We ambled over to the other side of the ship, crossing the narrow bridge that covered the gap between the two decks until we were on a similar but not entirely identical deck on the other side.The opposite one, the starboard I assumed, had been all utilitarian. The port side was a bit different. There were benches along the edges and the railings were a lot prettier, with engravings and tooled bars.The back had what looked like a bar of all things, and the cabin was also a bit bigger. I wondered if the port side was meant to carry passengers while the starboard held the crew and such? It would kind of make sense. There was only one propeller on the ship, right in between the two cabins. It was obvious that the engine was on the starboard side though.“So, the Beaver Cleaver,” Rosaline began. “It was commissioned some seven or eight years ago by Lord Edgar Corvus of Clan Corvus. It was meant to be a party boat, of all things. So that he could parade around with some strumpets and curry favour with other lords and ladies and so on. This ship wasn’t actually built in our shipyards.”“There are others?” I asked.Rosaline nodded. “The Owl clan has one, as do the Hawks. This one was Owl-built. Their engineers are actually quite good, their other departments... not so much. See, Lord Corvus wanted the front to have a pair of beavers as figureheads for the world knows what reason.”We all turned to stare at the tophat wearing ducks at the front. “Um,” Awen said. “Those are ducks.”“Yes. Yes they are,” Rosaline agreed. “See, the sculptor they hired didn’t know what beavers were, so he asked around, and somehow got it in his head that they were just furry ducks.”I snorted, then pressed a hand over my mouth as a giggle escaped. A look at the figureheads did show a distinct lack of feathers. Instead, the ducks had thin furry carvings all over. “Oh no!”“Oh yes!” Rosaline said. “And then it got worse! Lord Corvus wanted this thing painted black and gold. The clan colours, you see. The balloon was meant to be a nice stately green.” We looked up and the balloon was indeed quite green. “They got that right.”“But this ship is yellow,” Awen said.“Yup! They ran out of black paint, so they figured they’d paint it all gold. But gold paint is expensive, so the painters went with yellow.”“Did the lord know?” Awen asked.Rosaline’s grin said it all. “He found out the morning of the ship’s unveiling. It was a big spectacle, of course. He had a pretty girl break a bottle of wine on the side, and then they pulled the tarp off and... voila!”Awen slapped a hand over her mouth. “What did he do?”“He walked off in quite the huff and refused to pay for the ship. It made the Owl yards look quite bad. Good for our business though. We ended up buying the ship for a pittance and dragged it over here to look at their engines and the like. Some parts were a bit better than what we had.”This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.I ran a hand over the railing, some cleaning magic keeping the paint shavings off of me. “Do you think we could restore her?”“I think that this ship might be a ‘him’ actually,” Rosaline said with a snort. “And I don’t see why not. You need a ship, we have a shipyard. This isn’t too big a vessel that it couldn’t be manned by a small crew that knows what they’re doing.”“What about a crew that doesn’t?” Amaryllis asked.Rosaline dismissed that with a wave. “We can get a few people to go with you, teach you the ropes while you’re heading over. Just... what, two or three experienced sailors or so? I think this ship needs a minimum crew of five to run.”“That would be wonderful!” I said. “Could we repaint her-him ourselves?”“Awa, I’d love to see how the engine works too,” Awen said. “And some of the rigging too.”Rosaline nodded. “Certainly. I’ll put in an order to have him refurbished, at least the basics, and then we can park him at the estate so that you can tinker away.”“You’ll park this abomination at our home?” Amaryllis asked.“Did I mention that the entire port side is nothing but one big flying home for rich patrons? Three smaller bedrooms with en suites, a master bedroom at the fore, a smoking room and a small kitchen. It’s basically a yacht with a strange design.”“I suppose it can’t be all that bad,” Amaryllis changed tacks.Rosaline clapped. “Perfect! Now we just need to get you girls all nice and dressed up for a proper diplomatic mission. It’ll be wonderful. I know all the best shops!”“Don’t you need to work?” Amaryllis asked. “I doubt even you can avoid work this many days in a row.”Rosaline’s good mood crashed. “But work is lame.”I patted her on the back. “It’s okay? You seem to enjoy your work though.”“Not the paperwork part of it,” she said. “Some of it is alright, but I’d rather go with you.” She perked up and slid next to Awen. “Say, love, wouldn’t you want me to be there when you pick out something nice to wear? The kind of thing that will have all the ladies looking at you with envy?” Rosaline asked.“Awa, I, I wouldn’t mind if you were there, I guess,” Awen said. She was growing a little red, especially when Rosaline squeezed her close and squee’d into her ear.Amaryllis stepped in to save Awen. “We can wait until after you’re done for the day to head out. The shops will still be open by then. At least, they will if I send Gen-Gen out to ask.”“Ohh, that’s why you’re my second-favourite little sister!” Rosaline cheered.“Second favourite? I’m your only little sister!”“Broccoli is my favourite now.”“Hey!” I said. “What about Awen?”Amaryllis turned to me with a look of complete betrayal on her face. “You’re not even going to try and defend my position after usurping it?”“You called me an idiot,” I pointed out.She huffed most huffily. “That was just me pointing out the truth.”Rosaline giggled and pulled Amaryllis into a hug that she didn’t react to. “I still love you. And Awen is too precious to be a sister; if you know what I mean.”“Keep your degenerate talons off of my friends,” Amaryllis warned as she poked Rosaline in the stomach.We left the deck of the Beaver Cleaver in high spirits. I imagined the ship would appreciate a bit of laughter on his decks after so long being unused.Our trip backup to the Albatross Aeronautics main offices was faster than our trip down, and soon Amaryllis and Awen and I were saying farewell to a teary-eyed Rosaline who really didn’t want to get back to work. But there were a bunch of important-looking harpies waiting for her, and she was dragged away without too much protest.“Are we walking back?” I asked.“Certainly,” Amaryllis said. “The exercise will do us good.”I grabbed onto my friend’s hands and talons as I placed myself in the middle of them. “Great!” I said. “So, Awen, what do you think about Rose?”“Awa?” Awen asked as she looked up. “Miss Rose? W-what about her?”“Oh, I don’t know. She seems to like you a lot.”Amaryllis sighed. “The subtlety of a Sylph in a goldsmithy.” She shook her head. “My kinder sister is very... open about her relationship status. She’s been looking for the perfect partner for years. If you think you fit the bill Awen, do try your talon.”“Awa?!”I tried not to smile at how flummoxed Awen looked. It... might not have been too nice to play matchmaker, but I wanted Awen to be happy, and Rosaline seemed like a very caring, if a little flighty, person. She wouldn’t hurt Awen, at least not on purpose.And, best of all, it might help Awen come out of her shell a little. It was a neat solution to a lot of little problems.That didn’t mean it would work.Love wasn’t something I was well versed in. I loved my friends lots, but I didn’t love them that way. I hoped that this was a better solution than hurting Awen’s heart. For all that she was a tough girl, I didn’t want to see her hurt. Worse, Amaryllis and I were the only support she had in this place.“I, I don’t... I don’t know what you mean,” Awen said.I let out the tiniest little sigh and pulled her into a sidelong hug. “That’s okay too,” I said.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Forty — Repetition is the Mother of All Learning
Chapter One Hundred and Forty — Repetition is the Mother of All Learning I focused as I raised my hand and narrowed my eyes at the dummy standing across from me.First, the mana. A nice big blob of it formed in my cupped hand and began to warm up. It still took a few long seconds for the mana to turn into Fire Aspect. I’d need to work on that. If I was ever in a fight again and I wanted Fire Aspect mana, then I’d probably need it in a bit of a hurry.The first part was the trickiest. I’d figured out the mix of fire and cleaning magic needed to cast sticky fireballs, but not for making it easily. I always had to make fire mana first, and then inject it full of cleaning mana. I couldn’t do it the other way around. Well, not without it kinda combusting.The second trickiest part was forming not one, but three sets of three fireballs at the same time. They were linked to each other in sets of three by a thin ‘wire’ of mana. It looked like nine water balloons tied end-on-end, each one no bigger than a lemon and glowing with the reddish-white mix of cleaning and fire aspect manas.I think having a bit of cleaning mana in the mix was helping with the control over the entire thing, otherwise there was no way I could get it all together without the complex spell bursting apart.It wasn’t that each individual spell was complicated. I could still recall Severin, my first temporary teacher in the magical arts, explaining to me that Fireball was just about the simplest spell there was.“Multi Delayed-Cast Sticky Fireball!” I called.Nine Fireballs rushed out, three tight groupings of three.The first set missed the dummy entirely, the second had one Fireball smack into the dummy’s head, and the third set had another hit. Those fireballs with the right mix of Cleaning magic in them lit up the dummy and kept the fire on it for way longer.“Two out of nine!” I cheered as I bounced up and down.“You really don’t need to shout so much,” Amaryllis said.I turned over to my friend who was sitting on a sort of lounge chair at the back of the training area. She had a tall glass of something with ice in it on a table next to her, and a harpy book about puppetry on her lap. Another, this one about nervous systems, of all things, was resting on the table.“It makes the spell cooler,” I said.She sighed. “Whatever.”Turning back to the dummy, I felt a big bubble of pride grow in my tummy, all warm and fuzzy at the sight of the fire still licking away at the wooden construct.Fire and dummies were a match made in heaven.I gasped.“What is it?” Amaryllis asked.“I got a new skill!” I said even as the prompt opened before me.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the general skill: Matchmaking!I stared. “What?”Amaryllis went back to her book. “When you’re ready do tell me.”“I... I am confused.”“How unusual,” Amaryllis said without looking up.I pouted at her, but she couldn’t see it. So, instead, I popped open the new skill’s description.MatchmakingRank F — 00%The ability to spark a match in othersI squinted at the description. “Amaryllis, I got a skill that doesn’t make sense.”She finally looked up. “Not Mana Manipulation or something along those lines?”I shook my head. “I got Matchmaking. It says it’s meant to spark a match in others.”Now even Amaryllis looked stumped. “That’s... interesting. I’ve heard of the skill. Some old stickybeaks who can’t mind their own business say that they have it. They try to get everyone matched up with everyone else. Ask Rose about them some day, she loves to rant.”“I don’t want to be an old gossip,” I grumbled. “I just want to light things on fire.”She tapped a feather to her chin. “The situation with Rhawrexdee, the thing with Rose and Awen.. yes I can see why you ended up with the skill. Now all you need to do is grow out some grey feathers and stoop over a bit and you’ll fit right in with the old gossips.”“Amaryllis!” I protested. She cackled. “Don’t be so mean or I’ll use my new skill on you.”“Don’t you dare,” she said. “Or I’ll start using you to practice my puppeteering skills.”I stuck my tongue out at her.In reality, my new skill didn’t sound that bad. If its Rank C was anything like Friendmaking, then it might be very handy.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
10
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
1
Age
16
Health
135
Stamina
145
Mana
125
Resilience
45
Flexibility
55
Magic
25
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 11%
Way of the Mystic Bun
E — 49%
Gardening
D — 24%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 90%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
E — 93%
General Skills
Insight
C — 72%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
F — 63%
Friendmaking
C — 29%
Matchmaking
F — 00%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
4
Wonderlander Skill Points
1
General Skill Points
4
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
5
I had a few points I could spend across the board. Not only that, I had a few skills that were ripe for rank-ups soon, and I had the points to spend. A bit more practice and I’d be even stronger than before!According to Amaryllis, people didn’t start taking you seriously unless you were deep into your second tier, or even in the third. But at the rate I was going, that could take months.“We need to adventure more,” I said.“World no. I think I’ve done more than enough to risk my life in the last few weeks, thank you very much.”“Ah, but what about our diplomatic mission? Wouldn’t it be easier if we were stronger?”Amaryllis paused. “It would be. How about you continue with your Fireball training. I’m certain that a few hundred more hours of practice would allow you to reach basic competence.”I huffed at her, one of her own ‘I’m going to do it, but I find you silly’ huffs. Judging by the confused look that crossed her face, she knew exactly what I meant.My next multicast Fireball was still in its mana-blob state when the crunch of gravel behind me had me looking over my shoulder to see Clementine stepping into the training grounds. “Oh, don’t mind me,” she said.I nodded and refocused on my spell. I wasn’t getting faster by leaps and bounds, but I was managing to chip away a second here and there as I got used to the cast. I was sure that with a few more days of practice I’d be able to cast the entire thing in under ten seconds.This time, when the volley went off, only one of the balls hit the dummy, but it was right smack in the middle of its wooden head, so I called it a victory.“Interesting,” Clementine said. “A sort of scattershot approach. Probably good for large swarms of enemies with decent evasion.”“I’m surprised you know that much,” Amaryllis said.“I might not be a combatant, but I’m not a fool,” Clementine said. “Besides, you need to know a thing or two if you’re going to have a conversation with some of the older folks at some gatherings. You wouldn’t believe how much they can prattle on about who has the biggest spell.”“Are they all veterans?” I asked. Maybe they were like a club filled with Abraham Bristlecones.“No. Only one in ten is past their second tier. Most took decades to even get that far.” She shook her head. “They, and unfortunately, myself, are career politicians and business birds. We’re ill-suited to fighting. Not that that would stop them from dreaming.”“Maybe one day I'll deign to escort you through a dungeon,” Amaryllis said. I’d never heard her sound so smug before.Clementine harrumphed. “I’d rather hire a professional, not someone still playing with dolls.”Amaryllis just grinned. “I have plans for these dolls. You’ll see.”“Oh, I’m certain,” Clementine said. “Now, I didn’t leave off my work to come and antagonize and mock you, Amaryllis, as amusing as that is.”Amaryllis sat up straighter. “What’s wrong?”“Oh, nothing is wrong. It’s just that news of our little... mission for you and your friends has gotten out. Not to too many ears, but it did reach some important people.”“Politics?” Amaryllis asked.Clementine nodded. “Politics,” she agreed. “They seem ambivalent about our little plan, thinking it quite... quaint and unlikely to be needed. Still, they want to meet.”“Why would they think that?” I asked. The plan seemed pretty sound. If the diplomats couldn’t make it because of sabotage or something, then we’d pick up the torch. If they did make it, then we’d just be there to see how things went. It seemed... easy enough.“Clan Albatross has some history, and more importantly, we have a lot of money. But the Nesting Kingdom doesn’t run on gold, it runs on connections and favours and old ties. Until a generation ago our clan was fairly small but well-respected. We had few rivals, generally minded our own business, and were just small enough to stay out of the bigger political games.”“Don’t you guys own the biggest shipyards now?” I asked.“We own them because the older a clan is, the slower it is to move,” Clementine said. “Tradition is as much a shackle as it is a tool. When our parents saw the opportunity to start building in an entirely new industry they were some of the first to move, and they pushed it hard. We had the first mover advantage and we’ve kept it. Now we’re one of the richest families around.”“That’s good, right?” I asked.“It is for us. But some of the older clans can get jealous. It’s a good thing that we are a clan, and one that was well-respected. I can’t imagine what would have happened if the shipyards would have opened under a clanless harpy’s control. As it is, we’ve been bullied and threatened and coerced from the moment we started to rise, but we had the connections and the political clout to fend off most of that.”“That doesn’t sound very nice,” I said.“It’s politics. We’re still politically weak, but economically strong. It’s a strange position to be in, and the inverse of many other clans. With new contracts coming in from the Royal Navy, that might well change. Clans want their children to captain our ships, but they can’t do that without training that only we can provide.”I nodded slowly. I could kinda see what was going on. “So now they want favours from you?”“Yes. It’s why they’re snooping so much. This mission you, Amaryllis, and Awen are going on might very well be far more important than they’re giving it credit.”“Are you sure?” I asked.Clementine nodded. “You’re a Riftwalker.”I blinked and looked over to Amaryllis who blushed a bit. “I... might have let slip one hint too many in a letter back home.”“We’ve kept it between us,” Clementine said. “Myself, Rose, our parents. That’s all.”I shook my head. “I don’t get the connection here.”“The World tends to throw Riftwalkers into all the most interesting spots of trouble. Historically speaking, that is,” Clementine said. “I’m hoping that we can nudge things along. If the official diplomatic mission flops like a chick on its first flight, then it will be up to Amaryllis, Awen and yourself to take up the mantle. Amaryllis who is a daughter of clan Albatross. It’s a lot of... political bragging rights, let’s call it.”I crossed my arms and thought about it for a moment, which Clementine seemed happy to let me do. “I’m not sure if I like being used like that, even if it’s for a good cause. I... I just want to go on adventures and have fun.”Clementine nodded slowly. “That’s fair. It’s why we don’t mind compensating you for your troubles.”I had the impression there was more than just that going on. “Neat,” I said.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-One — Broccoli is to Ceremony as Bulls are to China Shops
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-One — Broccoli is to Ceremony as Bulls are to China Shops Right after a late lunch and Rosaline’s triumphant return from work, Clementine pulled everyone into the lounge and sat us all down on a row of couches.Rosaline looked like she hadn’t hugged anyone in minutes, Awen was fiddling with her thumbs, Amaryllis was bored and Clementine looked like a doctor about to deliver some serious news.“We need to prepare you for the ball,” Clementine declared most gravely.“Can I do it?” Rosaline asked.“No,” she was immediately shot down. Clementine shook her head. “They need to be actually prepared. Not... filled with whatever fanciful ideas you come up with between now and then.”Rosaline pouted. She pouted hard.“Fine. You can help them with the dresses and such,” Clementine said, then she raised a wing to calm Rosaline down before she got too excited. “Later. Let me lay down the rules first.”“Do you really need to?” Rosaline asked. “The girls are super cute, no one will do anything bad to them!” She leaned to the side and wrapped a wing around Awen, then she reached out and pinched my cheek.“Hey! No! Awen is the cute one, not me!” I protested.“Awa!”“Nu-huh,” Rosaline said. “You’re both adorable! And you’ll be more adorable-er once I get you all dressed up!”Amaryllis sighed. “Rose, do stop molesting Broccoli.”“Aw-what about me?” Awen squeaked.“You seem to be enjoying it,” Amaryllis said.While Rosaline giggled and redoubled her hugging and Awen’s face went thermonuclear, I turned towards Clementine. I had a whole bunch of questions for her.“So, Clementine, um,” I began. “Why are we going to the ball in the first place? If we’re supposed to be some sort of secret weapon, then wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to not show up at a big public event?”Clementine nodded, then she nodded to Gen-Gen who stuck his head into the lounge. The butler pushed in a trolly a moment later, one covered in little bite-sized snacks and a big jug of some sort of juice with blocks of ice floating within it.“It would make sense to keep you hidden,” Clementine said. “If this were the kind of operation where you could show up out of the blue. Unfortunately, it won’t work out that way. For one, the other clans would protest if you just swooped in without even giving them a hint. For another, the Sylphs are... stingy when it comes to... well, anything. The last thing you need is to get arrested by an overzealous paladin because they don’t know who you are.”“How would they know if we’re at the ball?” I asked.“There will be some Sylphs in attendance, of course, and they will be sending news back via their bank.”I pointed to Amaryllis. “Like when she wrote you letters?”Clementine made an affirmative noise. “Yes. Like when my littlest sister deigned to actually write to us to tell us she wasn’t dead in some ditch somewhere.”“Okay,” I said over the sound of Amaryllis’ protesting. “So why is there even a diplomatic mission to begin with? Why not just write them a letter and explain everything that way?”Clementine shook her head. “That’s not how it works. Letters leave too big of a record, there’s less room for back and forths, they also lose part of the home field advantage. You can’t impress a diplomat with your riches and military might if you’re only communicating via letter.”I scrunched up my nose. “But does that stuff matter?”Clementine sighed. “It does to the Sylphs and it does to the bigger clans, which means we have to play along. We’re not the Snowlanders who would be more than happy to do business from afar without ever leaving their home.”In the end there wasn’t much I could say to that. “Okay. So we go to the ball and then we, uh, schmooze with the big rich people and then they’ll be okay with us showing up at the big meeting in the Sylph capital?”Clementine closed her eyes, set the cup she was in the middle of filling aside, then started to massage her head. “I don’t know how you do it, Amy.”“You would be surprised at how much endurance I had to build up to her... Broccoli-ness,” Amaryllis said.I looked between the two. “What?”“First,” Clementine began. “Never... never use the word schmooze again. I don’t know what it means, and I don’t want to. Second, while referring to the clans as the ‘big rich people’ is technically accurate, it might still insult some of them. Just call them the clans.”“Alright!” I said.“You are aware that trying to teach Broccoli here about etiquette is entirely useless, right? The last time she was at a meeting with nobles she kidnapped their daughter,” Amaryllis said. “That is, after she told a countess that her title didn’t matter.”Clementine took a long sip from her juice, then set it on the tray before turning to Gen-Gen. “Can I have something with more kick?” she asked.One of the butler’s eyebrows rose up, but he nodded. “Certainly.”“This is actually really great,” Rosaline said. “We can spend the evening dancing instead, maybe pretend that Broccoli and Awen are just family friends who don’t know any better. They’re so cute and cuddly that no one would suspect anything about them.”Clementing rubbed at her face. “Yes, I suppose hoping that we appear so stupid as to be overlooked is a stratagem. It’s a stupid stratagem, but I suppose that’s the entire point of it.”“Great!” Rosaline said. “Okay, so let’s skip straight to the important bit! How to dance!”“Awesome!” I cheered. “My dancing skill is almost ready to rank up.”Rosaline hopped up to her feet and skipped to the middle of the room before spinning around. “Okay! I can tell you about all the worst prudes and jerks you’ll want to avoid while teaching you how to dance,” she said.Clementine tossed her wings up in surrender. “I give up. Rose, do keep in mind that I can make your life a nightmare if you mess this up. But I’ll concede that you’re better at the social aspect of things than I am.”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.Rosaline clapped. “Perfect! Okay, I’ll need a partner.”“Awen, you should go,” I said to the girl sitting next to me. “I learn better by seeing.” I could practically feel my Matchmaker skill gaining experience.“Ah? Oh, okay,” Awen said. She stood a bit stiffly, then moved towards Rosaline with small uncertain steps. She curtsied, pinching the sides of her pants as she bowed. “Pl-please be gentle.”“Only at first,” Rosaline said.“Huh?” Awen said before Rosaline grabbed her hands in hers.“We’ll start with the waltz! It’s usually what the evening starts and ends with because it’s an easy enough dance that even the old birds can participate. It’s a great way to see who’s come with who since it’s traditional to dance with the person you came with first. Sometimes boys will dance with an aunt or something too.”Rosaline asked if Awen knew the steps, which she did. The human waltz and the harpy one were pretty much the same with a few differences. The harpy waltz moved a lot more, and they had more arm flourishes, apparently.“If you’re dancing with a girl, one of you needs to take the boy’s part,” Rosaline said. “You don’t mind if I lead, do you Awen?”“N-no, of course not,” Awen said. “You can lead.”I sat on the edge of my seat as Rosaline and Awen danced in quick little circles around the room. Awen had a bit of trouble at first, but she caught on fast and was soon pressed up against Rosaline as they spun around.“You look like an idiot,” Amaryllis muttered from beside me. “Wipe that dumb grin off your face or the game will be up.”I reined in my smile a bit. “It’s not a game,” I whispered back.Amaryllis’ response was a roll of her eyes.“What isn’t a game?” Clementine asked. She’d sat herself down on Amaryllis’ other side.“You’re as blind as ever, oh eldest sister of mine,” Amaryllis shot back.Clementine glared, then she looked at the two girls dancing together, took in Awen’s blush and the way Rosaline was smiling.She reached over to the second tray Gen-Gen had brought, pulled the cork off a fancy bottle, and downed a swallow of it. “Not my problem,” she declared.The dance ended with Rosaline sweeping Awen off her feet and leaning her way, way down so that her blonde hair was touching the floor.“And that,” Rosaline said as she stood back up and helped Awen to stand. They were both quite flushed. “Was how you waltz. Ah, I was supposed to tell you about people to avoid at the same time.”“I-it’s okay,” Awen said. “I would have been, um, distracted.”“Right!” Rosaline cheered. “I think I can list out all the bad influences in the clans.”“Because you’ve dated all of them?” Amaryllis asked.“Exactly! I’ve grown to know all of them. I can tell you all about their weird and terrible habits, which ones are handsy when they really ought not, and which ones have all the personality of a rock.”“Awa, you’re very experienced,” Awen said. She looked like she couldn’t decide whether to be impressed or embarrassed, probably at her own lack of experience.“Darn right! I’ve dated just about every bachelor and most of the fun bachelorettes in the kingdom!” Rosaline declared.“Oh, wh-what stopped you from, um, finding someone... right?”Rosaline shifted from talon to talon. “Well, it wasn’t always the same reason. I got along really well with some, for a bit at least. Sometimes I had good reasons to dump people. Lord Fred I booted out because he was intimidating, for example.”“Lord Fred isn’t a very intimidating name,” I said.“Yes Broccoli, you’re right, Broccoli. It’s such an unintimidating name, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“Hey! My name’s not supposed to be intimidating, it’s supposed to be friendly!”Awen nodded along, but she didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. “S-so many people and you never found anyone you liked?” she asked. “I... sorry. I’m being rude. I’m just worried that... nevermind.”Rosaline pulled Awen into a sidelong hug, her head dropping to lean against Awen’s. “It’s not that. I just want to find someone that I love, and I never did. They were always after the shipyard, or my family, or my title. The worse ones are those that just dated because they wanted to conquer me for bragging rights.”“Th-that’s awful!” Awen said. She raised her hands, then lowered them. “Can. Can I give you a... hug?”I could barely hear the last word, it was so quiet, but I could see the results well enough. Rosaline picked Awen up and spun her around while squishing her close.Clementine set down her bottle and stared for a bit before leaning closer to me and Amaryllis. “I wonder how long this will last,” she said.“We’ll see,” Amaryllis said. “I actually have high hopes.”“Hrmph,” Clementine hrmphed.I clapped my hands to draw Rosaline’s attention away from squishing Awen’s cheek against hers. Awen looked like she needed a moment to breath and maybe to have her blood circulate somewhere other than in her cheeks and ears. “What else can you teach us about balls and dancing and such?” I asked.“Oh, there’s all sorts of stuff. The dresses alone will be fun to figure out,” she said. “How someone preens their feathers tells you a lot about them, but you and Awen here are a bit featherless.” She ran a talon through Awen’s long hair. “But this is a lot more fun than feathers! We’ll need to figure it out!”“There are ways for non-harpy to dress that are considered proper. Usually clothes that have very loose sleeves that simulate wings,” Amaryllis said. “And of course you’ll need to get used to wearing pants for a bit.”“Aww,” I said. Not that I really minded all that much.“This is going to be a disaster,” Clementine said.I don’t think that she understood that that was half the fun.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Two — He’s a Real Fixer-Upper
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Two — He’s a Real Fixer-Upper My spoonful of oatmeal-or something so close to oatmeal that it might as well have been the same thing-dropped out of my weakened hands and I found myself looking up and across the breakfast table with wide eyes. “Really?” I asked.Rosaline nodded. “Yup! Most of the problems it had were the kinds of things that normal maintenance would fix. The engine didn’t need replacing, and most of the mechanics inside it still work.”I nodded along. “I guess it didn’t have any problems caused by wear and tear if it was hardly ever used,” I said.“That’s pretty much it,” Rosaline agreed. “Most of the problems were straps rotting away and a few things going rusty or drying up, but we have people with skills that can fix that up with a wave of their talons. The sails needed replacing; they were rather moth-eaten. And the balloons were flat for too long. They needed replacing too. I hope you like blue.”“Blue?” Awen asked. She was sitting next to Rosaline and was poking her way through a breakfast of beans and bacon.Rosaline smiled just a bit sheepishly. “Yeah. We had some leftover balloons, the sort used by the national mountain patrol for their little patrol ships.”“Are they a military group?” I asked.“The guard? Nah, they patrol the passages between cities. The area can be a bit treacherous, especially in winter. Sometimes caravans get stuck in the mountains.”I nodded. Having military signs on my ship-My ship!-would send the wrong kind of signal. We wanted to befriend people, not conquer them. “So, where’s the Beaver now?” I asked.Rosaline huffed smugly. “In the backyard.”I blinked, then jumped to my feet and dashed over to the far end of the dining room where a bay window overlooked the gardens behind.It didn’t take much searching to find the Beaver Cleaver. The catamaran was hovering some hundred meters away, its keel almost hugging the ground. It was held there by a thicket of ropes all around it that were being tended by harpies in the Albatross Aeronautics uniform.“Oh, oh gosh this is great!” I said. “We’ll need to repaint him, and maybe buy some furniture and stuff, and... oh, this is going to be fun!”I turned to the table to see the others sharing in my excitement, or at least enjoying it.Amaryllis waved a croissant through the air. “I’m certain we have some furniture leftover that we can donate to the cause. Right Gen-Gen?”The ever-present butler bowed from his spot by the doorway. “Indeed, Miss. I will ask the staff to collect any spare furnishings. We can gather them for your perusal by the sheds near the vessel.”“Thank you!” I said.Clementine was the one to answer. “It’s nothing,” she said. And then the end of a scone bounced off her forehead.“Don’t be so blasé!” Rosaline said. “It’s my company that’s taking the loss you know.”“You were going to scrap it, it’s hardly a loss. And besides, it’s the clan’s company.”I left the two to their morning ritual and rushed over to Awen. “Are you done eating?” I asked. “We can start right away!”“Awa? I, guess?” she said.I couldn’t help but laugh and grab her hand as soon as she was standing to pull her after me. “Amaryllis, once you’re done bonding with your sisters by arguing, you should join us!” I called back.Awen and I left the room to the sound of three harpies squawking in protest.Racing through the mansion with Awen was a lot of fun, but we didn’t have very far to go. Once we burst out the back it was only a few twists and turns before we reached the ship proper.Seeing the Beaver Cleaver hovering above was way different than seeing it stuck in a mooring only lit by old magical lights. It was far more impressive in the full light of day. And also a lot more rundown.The flaking paint was already pretty rough, but I’d noticed that last time. Now in the better lighting, I could make out rotting ropes and a few bits that were very much still rusty. “We still have a lot of work to do before he’s ready,” I said.Awen nodded. “That’s okay. We’ll work on him together, and he’ll be the nicest ship to take to the skies in no time. Like Uncle’s Shady Lady but... ours.”I grinned down at Awen and placed an arm over her shoulder to pull her closer. “That’s exactly right,” I said. “With your mechanical expertise and my... um, Cleaning expertise, we’ll have the Beaver Cleaver looking like the most formidable ship in the sky! I’m thinking we paint it bright colours.”“Bright colours?” Awen repeated. “That doesn’t sound very, um, formidable.”“Shiny colourful things can be very formidable. Formidable yet friendly,” I said.“Ah, okay.”I nodded while Awen nestled herself deeper into the hug. I tilted my head down so that my cheek was on her head and my ears could bend down to tickle her. “So, Awen,” I asked carefully. “I’ve seen the way you look at Rose.”The girl stiffened.“I think you two would be very cute together,” I said. “Rose needs someone who can love her for who she is, and she’s the kind of girl that would do everything to help someone she loves, I think.”Awen looked up to me, bright blue eyes shining with uncertainty. “Awa. I... girls can’t-” she began.“Girls can do whatever they want.”Awen’s face went red, then white, then back to red in the time it took to blink twice. “I... I don’t know,” she said at last.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.I tightened my hug so that I could squeeze the sad out of her. “That’s okay too,” I said. “Take your time, okay? You’re one of the smartest girls I know.” I planted a big smooch on her forehead before letting go. “Alright! Let’s start by cleaning this ship up! And then we can paint him!”Bouncing off to the side, I waved to some of the workers. It only took a bit of asking around to find the one in charge of the whole lot and then it was only a bit of work to ask him for a lot of paint and some brushes and such to paint with.While the workers went off to gather stuff, I bunched my legs under me, then shot up into the air to land on the Beaver’s deck. There were a few things on-deck that looked new. Some of the hoops that had ropes through them, and some of the posts for tying the ship down had been replaced, but for the most part it was as I remembered.A look over the edge showed Awen still rooted on the spot as if she’d turned into some sort of statue. I figured it would take a bit for her to get back into motion. It was time that she deserved, though, so I left her to her thoughts. If she looked sad later then I’d do my best to cheer her up, but that was a later problem.I eyed the scuffed and weather-stained planks that made up the deck. That could be a nice place to start.A wave of Cleaning magic wiped away the grime and dirt and dust, then the flaky paint came off the deck like dust being blown off by the wind. It left me with a big round-ish patch a pace across that looked sparkly-clean next to the rest of the deck.“Well then,” I muttered. That made my life easy.I started to circle the deck while laying down a constant wave of Cleaning magic. Every step forward left a swatch of shiny deck behind me. Once the deck was done, I skipped to the second deck and repeated the process. Some magic applied to the rails left them looking fresh and new as well.The cabin at the back was a bit trickier, there were parts I couldn’t reach from the ground, but a few Cleanballs took care of them in a jiffy.I dipped into the cabins next. The starboard side cabin’s interior was super utilitarian. There was a big engine, with belts running off to the side, and rails all around to keep people from bumping into things.I pushed out a big wave of cleaning magic and was quite satisfied when it left the motor looking sparkly and new. It even cleared the dust out of the air. Next, I moved towards the front of the ship-the prow?-and into a series of smallish rooms. There was a pantry with an icebox covered in runes that was filled with lukewarm water, and plenty of shelves. Next to it was a little kitchen, and past that a cargo room with a mechanism built into the ceiling to push it open.That had to be the cargo access then. It was pretty much empty save for some broken boxes and bits of detritus left around. More cleaning magic cleared a lot of it out, but I would have to carry the boxes out myself.The next room over were the crew quarters. One small room, probably for the first mate or captain, a little office with a fold-out bed that I guessed belonged to the quartermaster, and then a room filled with hammocks that lead to a very uncomfortable looking washroom that had to be right under the figureheads at the front. The rooms were all very tight, with ceilings so low that my ears brushed them if I didn’t crouch a bit.Cleaning magic left the rooms clear and clean, but we’d still need to spruce it up a bunch.I left the port hull and climbed back on deck. Awen was gone by then, but I could hear bings and bangs from the workshops. I hoped she was having fun and not just burning off frustrations.Finding the middle ground with Awen was... hard. She was a friend, and I loved her that way. I wanted her to be as happy as she could be. But she was young. I was young too. My mom told me that you were supposed to try all sorts of things when you were young in order to find yourself, but I was pretty happy with the bun I was.I didn’t know if I should have gone to bother her or not, so I decided to be productive and hopped over to the next hull. The starboard cabin was a bit wider, with a balcony built onto the back and windows all over that let in sunlight.A bit of cleaning left the rooms much brighter as the grime on the windows faded away.A level down and I was touring a series of big rooms. There were six in all, each one with a double bed in dire need of fluffing, a little dresser, and a port window looking out the side. They weren’t big rooms, only about as big as the cheapest inn rooms I’d ever visited, but space was at a premium on an airship.The room near the prow was a teeny tiny ballroom, with wider windows than in the bedrooms and a floor that looked like it was meant to be danced on. I couldn’t think of a use for that kind of thing for our little crew, but it was a nice big area. We could turn it into a dining room, or a living area, or a training spot for non-Fireball magics.At the very very end was a little room with a stand-up shower and the other sorts of necessities needed to keep clean and such. All of it was much nicer than on the port side.The Beaver Cleaver was a strange little ship, but it was comfortable too. I was sure we could make it our own in time.A little home for a little family of friends. That sounded nice.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Three — Wear Your Sunshine on Your Ship
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Three — Wear Your Sunshine on Your Ship I swooshed the brush across and left a big drippy smear of paint across the wood. On the backstroke, I pressed all the little dribbles back down with a quick slash that turned the hull partially yellow, with only pinpricks of the wood beneath visible.The brush went into the can hanging by a rope next to me. I swirled it about within, then took it out all dribbly and wet with happy yellow, and back onto the hull it went to add another streak of colour to the Beaver’s side.I had never really spent all that much time painting, other than a few hazy memories of arts and crafts in elementary school and some scenery painting I’d done for fun. I remembered being really bad at it. More enthusiastic than talented. But painting a hull wasn’t painting people and homes and happy little trees, it was all one uniform colour, so even a dolt like me could do it, no problem.I wanted to paint it like a mural with rainbows and cute critters and a big smiley-faced sun. but Amaryllis said no. She said no very emphatically.So far, I’d done the entire stern of the port side, an entire can and a bit of yellow paint liberally applied on freshly cleaned wood. I was nearing the bottom of the ladder I was using to paint. In a bit, I’d have to move it over a step or two and start back from the top.I was stepping down to reach a lower section when something bright caught my eye and had me turning around.Awen stood next to the ladder, head down so that all I could see was her long blond hair. “Awen?” I asked.The girl nodded, then looked up. “Broccoli,” she said. Her eyes met mine for just a moment before twitching away. “Broccoli, are we friends?”I blinked. “Of course we’re friends!” I said. “You’re one of my two best, best friends. And you’ll be my friend forever and ever. Broccoli Bunch doesn’t abandon her friends.”Awen was still not meeting my eyes, but she did smile, small and shy, a bit like that first time when we’d met all of a couple of weeks ago. “Thank you,” she said.I hung onto the ladder and watched as Awen darted away, slipping under the prow so that I lost sight of her within a few steps. I didn’t know what that was about, exactly, but I was sure I’d figure it out eventually.I got back to painting, adding more brightness to the Beaver so that it would look like a happy little ship. I was really looking forward to taking him out for a spin through the skies. We could paint stripes on the prop at the back in different colours so that it would look pretty when spinning, and I was sure they sold sails in colours that weren’t the plain white of the newly installed sails. We could have one in every colour!Humming a happy tune to myself, I continued painting with big cheery strokes. The sun was shining bright overhead, and the air smelled like fresh paint and-when the wind came in just right-like freshly baked bread.It was going to be lunchtime in a bit, a good excuse to pause, but until then I’d do as much as I could.“It’s a bit clunky,” I heard Amaryllis say.“Awa, I can try to make it better. Um, but I think it might be better if I start from scratch.”“That’s fair. I think most of it comes from my own lack of skill. It will take some practice before I reach a level of competency that I’m comfortable with.”I leaned back on the ladder until I could see my friends coming around the front of the Beaver. They weren’t alone.At first I thought they were with someone else, but I had to discard that as the third person stepped out into the light. It was a puppet. A big, human-sized puppet, one with limbs made from wooden stakes and with a barrel-like torso. It bore more similarities to the dummies used as target practice than with a proper mannequin.It clunked along, its wrists and ankles and joints tied to little cords running up into the air, then around and towards Amaryllis who was holding a little cross-shaped thing. “Done gawking?” she asked.“Not yet,” I said. “Is that for your puppetry skill?” I asked.“It is,” Amaryllis said. “More for the sake of practice than anything. Awen here made it for me.”Awen clasped her hands together and shook her head. “It was nothing. Amaryllis needed something to practice on, and I didn’t know what to make. It’s very rough.”“It works,” Amaryllis said. “Broccoli, do you have more paint and brushes?”“You’re going to help?”“World no, I’m not going to dirty my feathers with that gunk. Have you seen yourself?” She gestured at me. A glanced down and took in all the yellow streaks and dots all across my battledress. “You look like someone who survived some tragic incident involving an entire jar of mustard.”“I can clean it off,” I said.“Yes, but you won’t have to clean it off me because I won’t be covered in it,” Amaryllis said.I watched her walk off, her puppet stumbling after her as she made her way to a little shed where the paint and painting equipment was stored.“Ah... I didn’t make you anything, Broccoli,” Awen said. “I’m sorry? I couldn’t think of anything you needed. But, uh, if you do have something you want, please tell me?”I grinned down at her, and got a smile back in return. “I will! I’m sure the Beaver needs a whole bunch of things! He’s going to be the coolest ship ever, which means he needs the coolest gadgets ever.”Awen nodded. “That, that makes sense. I think... I think we can add some weapons, just in case of pirates.”I scrunched my nose up. “I guess that’s not a bad idea. Maybe weapons that are hard to see? In case of non-pirates. We don’t want to scare people off.”This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.Awen looked at the ship for a moment, and I could tell she was thinking something up. “I’ll be at the workshops,” she said.“Okay! I’ll call you back for lunch in a bit?” I asked.“Oh, of course!” she said.I waved her off and went back to work until Amaryllis stepped out of the shed. Her puppet had a can of paint tied to one hand and a paintbrush jammed in the other. It had acquired a few drops of yellow across its front, but the real change was Amaryllis. Her entire outfit, once a nice brown shirt-pants combo, now had a wet, sticky front in eye-searing yellow.I greeted her with a snort. “Going full canary?” I asked.“Shut up. Now use that peasant cleaning magic on me. I don’t want to be seen this way.”I hummed and tapped my chin with the back tip of my brush. “I don’t know. Humility is important.”“I am perfectly humble as I am, now clean me.”I splashed her with a bit of Cleaning magic and watched her shudder as the paint just kind of melted off of her. “Thank you,” she said.“No problem. So you’re going to paint with your puppet?”“That’s the idea, yes,” she said. “I need the practice, and the ship desperately needs a coat of paint. Not... this disgusting shade and colour, but beggars and choosers and so on.”“I like the yellow,” I said.She glared up at me. “I’m aware,” she said. “It’s very much your kind of colour. Next you’ll want us changing the sails to match.”“I was thinking they could be other pretty colours, actually,” I said.Amaryllis made a disgusted sound and moved to the side, her puppet dutifully following along. It slowly moved its hand over the bucket of paint it was holding, carefully dipped the tip of the brush in, then lifted that arm up with janky motions until it was hovering by the side of the ship.The arm struck out, hitting the hull with a dull thump and leaving a roundish yellow splatter on the side of the ship.“Uh,” I said.“Shush you. It’s natural that I don’t have the fluidity of a more seasoned artist.” She glared at the puppet and had it swing its arm around in a nice, fluid arc... that completely missed the side of the ship.“You keep practicing,” I said as I got back to my work.We continued in companionable silence, only interrupted by my occasional happy humming of old songs from kids shows I liked and the thump of Amaryllis’ puppet hitting the side of our ship and leaving great big splotches of yellow on it.It was only some time later that I noticed Gen-Gen and a pair of maids coming into the courtyard with a table between them and some trays. The butler helped the maids set up while another pair came over with some folding chairs and set them up around the table.“Miss Bunch, Miss Albatross, your luncheon is ready,” Gen-Gen said. “I have sent word to Miss Bristlecone as well, she should be joining you soon.”“Ah, thank you, Gen-Gen,” Amaryllis said as she carefully had her puppet fold down onto the ground in a way that didn’t tip over its bucket of paint. “I was getting a bit hungry.”“Indeed,” the butler said. “I should inform you that Miss Rosaline will be arriving soon. She wishes to visit the shopping areas later in the evening.”“Shopping is fun!” I said as I bounced down the ladder. Setting my paint can and brush down next to Amaryllis’ puppet, I took a moment to clean myself off then skipped over to the table.There was a kettle filled with boiling water, a small selection of teas, and a plate covered in different sorts of sandwiches. The maids bustled about for a bit, pulling out chairs for us and placing fresh plates around the table, and then-just like that-they were off in a flurry of black and white robes.“The staff here are really nice,” I told Amaryllis.“They had better be,” she said. “You wouldn’t believe how well-paid they are. It’s ridiculous.”“Really?”She nodded and picked out a couple of sandwiches. “They have ears and mouths; they could spread clan secrets. And it’s not unheard of for a servant to poison someone for the right price. So they’re paid well enough that any bribe to get them to betray the clan would need to be astronomical.”I nodded along as I pulled the kettle closer and then brought the tea box closer. There were all sorts to pick from, so I went about sniffing them all for the one that smelled like it would taste the best.Awen arrived just as I was stirring the tea. “Have fun?” I asked her.She nodded, her hands tangled up in a bit of cloth in an attempt to get some grease off her hands. She obviously didn’t notice the cute little smudge right on the tip of her nose, and I elected not to tell her until I had finished with the tea.“Milk, sugar, cream?” I asked.The girls told me what they wanted and I prepared three cups with a bit of a flourish.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Tea Making skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!“Oh! Tea Making has ranked up,” I said as I sat back down.“That’s handy,” Awen said.Amaryllis sipped her cup. “I suppose it is. You really ought to invest in some non-plebeian skills.”“I’m working on i-”Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 2Mana +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class PointYou have unlocked: One Class Skill SlotI blinked, then shivered as the little pulse of level-up joy coursed through me. “Oh,” I said.
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Four — La Vogue de la Résistance
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Four — La Vogue de la Résistance Normally I wouldn’t be smug. Really, I hardly deserved the level up. All I’d done so far was make lots of tea and try to make sure my friends were happy while tinkering on our new ship.But Amaryllis looked so put out that I’d levelled up my second class faster than she did that I couldn’t help but be just a little teensy bit smug as all heck. “Maybe you’re not practicing enough?” I asked.“Oh shut up,” she said. “I couldn’t practice well until now. I don’t know how you managed to get such a boring, peasant skill like Teamaking to grind with. Some of us have to work hard to level up even once you know.”“Awa, I leveled once already,” Awen said.Amaryllis turned to her, then huffed the most envious huff I ever heard her huff. “You’re probably following this idiot’s example,” she said.“N-no? I just worked hard to make stuff with Glass magic,” Awen said.I giggled, a hand pressed over my mouth. “She’s just not as lazy,” I said, turning the last word into a sing-song taunt.Amaryllis pouted and crossed her wings. “I’m not lazy,” she said.Still smiling, I reached over the table with the remains of our lunch and patted her on the shoulder. “No, you’re not. We’re all going to need to work really hard to be the strongest there ever was! We’ll be a crew together, the three musketeers of... airshipping!”She gave me a birdy glare. With a sigh, she picked a sandwich off her plate-cut in little triangles to taste better!-and stuffed it in her mouth. “I suppose I’ve been too lax since returning home. I’ll have to increase my training time. So will you. You can’t let your main class skills wallow or else you’ll be stuck once your second class hits its evolution.”I nodded, remembering her many lessons on the subject. “You got it,” I said. “I’ll have to find a way to practice my Gardening and Dancing skills. They’re both really close to ranking up. Oh, and my Archeology skill is still super weak even though I’ve had it forever. There’s got to be a way to improve that too.”“M-maybe you can read about it?” Awen suggested. “They have a nice library here.”I nodded along. I was about to say that it would be kind of neat to visit some ancient ruins aboard the Beaver Cleaver when I noticed a familiar face bouncing over to us. “Rose!” I called out.“Hello!” Rosaline said before she crashed into Awen’s back and wrapped her up in a big feathery hug. “Are you guys ready for shopping?”“Awa,” Awen agreed. She was going red, but to my and Rosaline’s surprise, she actually pushed back into the hug.“Brilliant!” Rosaline said with a growing grin. “I just ran away from work, we should go now before one of the secretaries they set as my babysitters finds me.”“World damn it Rose,” Amaryllis grumbled. “I’m supposed to be the youngest, why can’t you act your age?”“I do act my age, that’s the problem,” Rosaline said. She unhugged Awen and moved over to glomp me from the side. “Now, are you girls all ready? I have a carriage waiting out front.”I returned the hug as best I could from my seated position, then climbed to my feet when she moved on to hug Amaryllis. “I’m ready!” I said. A wash of cleaning magic across my battle dress took off all the little yellow speckles and stains. It was almost too bad, they added a bright splash of colour to my gear.Rosaline let go of a grumpy-but-secretly-happy Amaryllis and rushed back to us. In no time, she had one of my hands in her talons and grabbed onto Awen’s with the other. “Let’s go!”Soon enough we were climbing into a neat little horse-drawn carriage with some pretty woodwork and a big crest on the doors with a logo that I assumed belonged to the Albatross family.With a ‘yah!’ from the driver, we were off and rattling along across the cobbled roads.“What kind of shops are we visiting?” I asked.Rosaline settled down on one side and was soon joined by a very timid Awen who sat next to her. Amaryllis and I took the seats across from them. “Well, there’re a lot of shops where you can buy nice clothes, but if you want to be on the bleeding edge of fashion there’s only one shop for that,” Rosaline said.“Oh no,” Amaryllis said.“Which shop?” I asked.“It’s owned by the marvelous harpy who only goes by the name... Patrice,” Rosaline said, as if she was telling us the greatest gossip. She even whispered the name. “He’s from the Chicken clan, which makes it a wonder that he’s grown so prominent.”“How’s that?” I asked.“Oh, the Chicken clan has a bad reputation with the other clans. They’re very populous, but politically very weak,” Rosaline explained. “They’ve been at the bottom of the pecking order a few times too many. Patrice had to hide his identity because none of the nobles would want to do business with his shop otherwise, but his fashion is so good that now everyone who’s anyone knows that he’s the best.”“Oh,” I oohed.“Yup! I was one of the first harpies to take one of his dresses to a social,” Rosaline said, her chest puffing out with pride.“It caused a scandal,” Amaryllis said.“It caused a scandal!” Rosaline cheered. “Now we can cause another.”I clapped along, eager to see what kind of clothes we’d get to try. I was never one for the whole clothes-shopping and fashion stuff. I always just wore more or less the same thing. A nice conservative dress never made anyone uncomfortable and was the optimal clothes for making friends with anyone. But Rosaline was so excited that it was turning contagious, even Awen was smiling under all the blushing.The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.The carriage rolled on while Rosaline prattled on about different cuts and styles of dress and who wore what at the last big ball. I was lost within a few sentences, there were just too many names for me to keep track of, but Awen, who was probably a lot more used to the sort of talk, kept track, nodding and gasping at all the right times to keep Rosaline going.Finally we came to a stop and the driver knocked twice on the roof.“We’re here!” Rosaline said as she bustled out of the carriage. I hopped out after her, then stepped to the side to let Rosaline help Awen out with a hand.The place where we stopped wasn’t as I expected. I’d made this mental image of a big shopping district with a bunch of stores, kind of like Port Royal but made a bit fancier.Instead, we’d stopped by the mouth of an alley next to two tall but humble apartment buildings. There were some blankets left out to dry in the sunlight and a few young harpies were bouncing along from porch to porch above as if the roads below were made of lava.“I do hope you don’t intend to join the children,” Amaryllis said.“Nah. With my practice jumping it wouldn’t be fair,” I said. “Is this really where the shop is at?” I asked.Rosaline nodded and pointed down the alley. “It’s over there this week. Patrice moves his store every so often. It keeps him inspired and the competition guessing.”“Neat,” I said.Rosaline guided us down a narrow alleyway that smelled a bit like wastewater, but then, so did most of the city. The alley opened up to a small square surrounded on all sides by steel-walled warehouses with big sliding doors. The ground here was caked in mud, as if large machines had been passing through recently.“This one,” she said as she moved over to one of the small, normal-sized doors with a big red feather painted on its middle. Rosaline rapped a talon against it and stepped back to wait.The door opened, revealing a young harpy boy in overalls and a cap, his pale face covered in grease and grime. “Yeah?” he said.“I come for the grains,” Rosaline said.The boy nodded. “Just the four of ya?” he asked.“Yup.”“C’mon in.” He backed away from the door and let us into a warehouse that was just barely lit by a pair of rune-powered lamps hanging from the ceiling.There weren’t mannequins or bolts of cloth around. Instead the place was filled with grimey machines, some of them chugging along and doing... something that I couldn’t quite figure out. I didn’t have much time for snooping as the boy led us deeper into the building and down a rickety wooden staircase at the very back.“Down that tunnel, ma’ams,” he said with a gesture down a sort of corridor with natural stone walls that had a few lanterns hanging from them. The boy reached up and pulled at a cord and I could just barely make out a distant gonging sound from down the corridor.It would have been a bit spooky if the entire thing wasn’t so well lit.Rosaline took the lead, letting go of my hand-but not Awen’s!-to slip ahead in the tunnel. I had to fold my ears back else the tips would rub against the ceiling.A knock at the door at the end later, and a bunch of heavy locks began to clunk apart. After the third heavy ‘clunk’ of a bolt sliding out of place, a small opening appeared in the door and an eye stared out at us. “Rosaline!”The door swung open, revealing a clean white room that had more in common with a lounge than the bunker I was expecting. Standing in the door frame with his arms held wide before him was the biggest harpy I had ever seen.“Patrice!” Rosaline cheered as she crashed into the hug.Patrice was a big guy, without an ounce of fat showing on his well-toned body. He was wearing a white outfit. Tight britches, a button up shirt and a vest with silvery trim. All very fancy, and so pale that it made the bright red of his feathers stand out. “Who are your little friends?” he asked as he pulled out of the hug. “Three of them at that!”Rosaline stepped in with a quick nod. “Yep! This is Awen, that’s Broccoli, and that over there is my cute little sister Amaryllis. You can’t call her Amy, it annoys her a lot.”Patrice bobbed his head up and down. “The beautiful Awen, the ravishing Broccoli, and the cute Amy, I see, I see. And which one is your newest girlfriend?”Rosaline had the good graces to blush. “None of them. But I’ll be asking Awen out later.”“Awa-what?!”“I see! How wonderful!” He clapped his wings together. “I don’t suppose you’ll allow me to work on the humans? I don’t often get to make dresses for non-harpy physiologies. It would be an interesting test.”Rosaline nodded. “That’s exactly what we’re here for. There’s this big diplomatic thingie going down in a few days. They’re sending all of their best out west to kiss the sylph’s behinds. We figure it’s going to end in disaster, so we’re sending our own diplomatic mission to show them up.”“Rose, that was a family secret,” Amaryllis hissed.“Bah, Patrice is trustworthy.”“Oh-hoh, when it comes to showing up the nobles, you’ll find none more willing than I,” the rooster harpy said. “So these two cuties need to look their best, I take it?” he asked.I looked over to Awen and quickly placed an arm over her shoulder. I don’t think she had caught the last bit of the conversation, not judging by the way she was swaying on the spot.Maybe I’d need to tell Rosaline to calm down a bit. Awen was a very delicate girl, she needed to take things nice and slow.
* * *
Cinnamon Bun Traditions!
Cinnamon Bun Traditions! I placed my hands on my hips and inspected the room. It was one of the bigger libraries-slash-living rooms in the mansion, in the East wing and only a corridor away from the dining room where we usually had breakfast as a group.Usually, the library was a stately place, with shelves on both levels, a spiral staircase in the corner, and a couple of big wooden desks for people to read at.It... admittedly was still like that. But I had spruced it up a bit.With some help, of course. Gen-Gen had raised an eyebrow when I came to him with a list of things I needed, but he didn’t make much of a fuss. I think he, at least, got into the proper spirit of things.We hung some green things off the bannisters, and lit up the fire in the corner until it was roaring hot with crackling logs. Gen-Gen had helped me boil some milk with grated dark chocolate, and one of the chef’s made a great big bowl of pudding.When I had asked Gen-Gen if we could cut down a tree and put it in the corner, he objected with a rather flat stare. So the gifts I’d gotten were all wrapped up and placed on one of the tables near the back.The sun was setting early, as it was wont to do when things got colder, and the only light in the room was the cozy yellow-orange glow from the fireplace and a few strategically placed candles.I grinned. It was perfect.We had made so much hot chocolate that I doubted we’d be able to drink even half, so I insisted that all the staff try some, and some pudding too. Amaryllis and her sisters were real lucky to have such nice people looking out for them.“What have you done to our library?”I spun around and came face to face with Amaryllis and Clementine, both of whom were looking around at all the decorations. “Gen-Gen said that we should come here. I didn’t expect it to be because a guest made a mess of the room,” Clementine said.“It’s not a mess,” I said. “It’s decorations.” I skipped over to both of them, then pulled them into a big squawking hug. “I made a holiday party,” I said.“You strung branches around,” Amaryllis protested.“It’s festive,” I said.Clementine glared at her sister. “You’d better clean up for your friend.”“She can clean up after herself. She’s not a dog. Dogs are smarter.”Our next guest, Orange, ambled into the room, looked around, then sauntered over to the fire before flopping down right next to it where she could hog the heat.And then, while Clementine and Amaryllis squabbled some more, Awen and Rosaline arrived. “Welcome!” I said.“Hello!” Rosaline said. “So, what’s so important that I got to leave work early to attend?” she asked.“You did what?” Clementine asked.I pulled her into a tight-tight hug. “We’re having a family party,” I said.Awen was the next one I squeezed. “Awa? Why?”“Because it’s almost winter and we might not have the opportunity later,” I said. “I got... some of the traditional things. I couldn’t find any mistletoe for kissing, or fruit cake, But I did find ugly sweaters.”“Mistletoe? Sweaters?” Rosaline repeated.I skipped over to one of the tables, then raised a big fluffy sweater off the surface. It was covered in little feather patterns and poorly knit chicks, the yarn all stingy and coming apart in spots. “I have one for everyone,” I said.“I’m not wearing that,” Clementine and Amaryllis said in stereo.I lowered the sweater, my ears drooping down at the same time. “You won’t?” I asked.“Ah, um, Broccoli, maybe you could tell us what, um, what’s going on?” Awen asked.I nodded. “Right. It would make a lot more sense if I explained.” I tapped the side of my head with my knuckles. “Duh! There’s a big celebration where I’m from every year. You get together with all of your friends and family, and you just kind of hang out and give each other gifts. My family was just me and my mom and dad, and our gifts were never big things, but it was always really nice. Just... being together, staying warm and watching the same movies every year while drinking hot chocolate.”One of Amaryllis’ eyebrows perked up. “And you want to do that now?”“It’s not the right date,” I admitted. “But then, I don’t know what the date even is. And if we put it off, we might not have the chance later. So... yeah, I was thinking it would be really nice to share a little. We’re all going off and doing our own things, which is fine but... well, what if we miss each other later? It would be nice to have good memories, if only for the one day.”Amaryllis sighed. “Do you have a sweater that isn’t covered in chickens?”I smiled. “I have one with bunnies!” I raised the sweater in question.“That’s hideous.”“That’s the spirit!” I cheered.Clementine shook her head. “You can’t be serious.”Amaryllis tugged her over. “Just put the sweater on and stop complaining so much.”“This is a waste of my time,” she said.“It’s important to Broccoli. She’s a sentimental idiot. If she starts crying because you leave I’m going to turn your life into a nightmare,” Amaryllis said.Clementine glared at her sister, then looked at me.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.I put on my very best smile.“Fine.”Soon, everyone had a sweater on, Clementine one with leafy patterns on it, Rosaline one with a rainbow-y pattern on the front. Awen got the chicken sweater and I got one with a big tree across it. “Okay! Come, we should sit down. There’s pudding and hot chocolate.”“Why would you heat the chocolate?” Clementine asked. “It’ll melt.”“That’s the idea,” I said.I ushered everyone over to the sofas close to the fire while answering Rosaline’s questions about mistletoe. She seemed to like that tradition a lot, at least I think she did. The mugs of hot chocolate I had placed under a big tin cover were all marked with runes that kept the hot chocolate warm so everyone had a steaming mug to sip from.The bowl of pudding was placed on a coffee table, with smaller bowls next to it, and a pile of spoons and a ladle to grab some with. I sat down next to Amaryllis on a big sofa, then took a big sip from my mug. “Ah.”“So, is this everything?” Amaryllis asked as she blew across the surface of her drink.“Nope!” I said as I set down my mug. “It’s tradition that everyone give everyone else a gift.”“You do know that we didn’t bring gifts, right?” Amaryllis asked.“That’s fine. It’s your first time. It’s okay to not be the best.”Rosaline snorted, but when I looked her way she dismissed me with a wave.“I’ll get your gifts!”I set my mug down and bounced across the room to pick up the stack of wrapped presents. They were all about the same size, with little tags held on by string around them. I grabbed the whole lot and brought them back to the sofas before placing them on the ground.“Do you want to open them all at the same time, or one at a time?” I asked.“Are they all unique?” Amaryllis asked.I shook my head. “I’m afraid not. It’s a bit last-minute, and I didn’t have that much gold to spend, so they’re all the same for everyone. Well, nearly all the same.”“Th-then we should open them all at the same time,” Awen said. “That seems fair.”I handed her the gift with her name on it. “There you go then. Do you guys have traditions like this?”“There’s a sort of festival in the spring where we commemorate the laying of a new generation,” Amaryllis said. “It’s generally a very private affair. With family members giving gifts to the next generation’s eggs.”“That’s so cute,” I said.“Ah, we have something in the winter,” Awen said. “No gifts, but we gather around and eat lots of pies and drink a lot of fresh cider. Uncle would tell us some stories. But, um, he would do that regardless, I think.”I snorted as I handed the last gift to Orange. The cat stared at the smallest box, then up at me as if she wanted an explanation.“You’re a friend too,” I said before patting her head.Talons and hands dug into the packages and soon everyone was holding up a pretty scarf, wach in a different shade and all of them very comfy.“Cute!” Rosaline declared as she wrapped her scarf around her neck. “Thanks Broc.”“I thought, since it’s getting a bit cold, and most of my friends here are birds, it would be nice to make sure you’re warm and snug,” I said. Awen nodded as she snuggled into her scarf. “There’s more!”Clementine set her scarf down on her lap and raised her other gift. It was a bracelet, made of polished copper and shaped like a ‘C’ with letters carved all around it. “A cheap bracelet?” she asked.“It has all of our initials,” I said. “It’s a friendship bracelet!” I raised my own hand, showing mine off.“Put on your bracelet Clem,” Amaryllis said as she fit hers on.“It’s immature,” Clementine said.I shook my head. “There’s nothing immature about telling the whole world that you have good friends!”She scoffed. “That’s so wrong I don’t know where to begin.”Amaryllis poked her sister in the ribs and Clementine slipped her bracelet on with a roll of her eyes.I jumped across the divide between us and hugged her tight. “Thank you!” I said.“Get off me! Amaryllis, control your idiot friend!”“Not when she’s only being an idiot at you,” Amaryllis said.Clementine squirmed under my hug until she huffed a huff of reluctant acceptance and hugged me back. I let her go, but only so I could help Orange open her gift.“I got you a ball of yarn, since I don’t think you’d want a scarf, and a friendship collar since your wrists are very small,” I told the spirit cat as I opened her present.She sniffed the collar, then ignored it in favour of poking the ball of yarn. The moment it started to roll away her eyes narrowed and her butt started wiggling. I left her to it.I smiled over to my friends. Amaryllis was arguing with her sister again, this time about how to properly tie a scarf, and Rosaline was asking Awen what she would do if there was some mistletoe around. Awen was blushing a bunch, but she didn’t seem to by shying away from the teasing at all.Orange darted past, chasing her bouncing yarn and having a ball.I, for my part, served myself a bowl-full of pudding and sat back to enjoy the happy sounds of a little family just getting along.
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Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Five — The Patrician's Armor
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Five — The Patrician's Armor Patrice scanned us all up and down, then crossed one wing over his chest so that he could poke his chin with the other’s talon. “First, we need to work out the coordinations,” he said.I looked around, searching for a clue as to what he meant. The room, the very well hidden room, had a bunch of cloth bolts and some mannequins with nothing on, and a few sewing machines with big foot-pedals, but nothing that clarified what he meant.Rosaline nodded as if she knew exactly what he was talking about. “Of course. But you’ll have to give me a moment.”“Oh?” Patrice asked, one eyebrow rising.Rosaline turned towards Awen, Awen whose face was only just recovering from its burst of redness earlier. “So, Miss Bristlecone, would you do me the honour of accompanying me to the ball?”“A-ahwa?”Rosaline smiled, but even a cursory inspection showed that the harpy was actually rather nervous. Her talons were fiddling with the sides of her pants and she was shifting her weight from side to side. Even her smile had a bit of a wobble in it.Awen turned towards me, watery eyes filled with uncertainty. “If you want,” I said simply. Any more than that and I’d be pushing her one way or the other.“I... Miss Albatross... Rosaline. I’m just me,” Awen said. “I’m nothing special, not like my friends. But if you want, then-” She paused, a smile so big and happy spreading across her face that I was sure it was making her cheeks pinch painfully. “Then I’d love to be your date.”I clapped my hands together and only just held back the urge to hug Awen because Rosaline was already mid-glomp.“So, that’s two dresses which must compliment each other,” Patrice said. He wasn’t entirely unmoved by the scene, not judging by his secretive little smile. “And what about you, Miss Bunch, Miss Albatross?”I looked away from where Awen was holding back giggles as Rosaline nuzzled the top of her head. “Ah, um. I’m going with Amaryllis as friends,” I said.“Oh, are you now?” Amaryllis asked. “What if I have a beau to bring with me?”“She doesn’t have a beau,” I told Patrice. “That’s why we’re going together.”Amaryllis huffed in protest, but it was a ‘you’re right but I don’t want to admit it’ huff’ so I decided it was safe to ignore it.“So the second set needs to be complimentary, but not so much so that any fancy bird will be afraid of asking any of you onto the dance floor,” he said.I hadn’t considered that. “Sounds good,” I said. “Can my dress be blue?”Patrice tilted his head to the side. “I could work some highlights in.” He nodded. “We’ll start with you then!”What followed was a moment that felt kind of magical. Patrice pulled me to the side and circled around me, his wings folded at the small of his back and his head bobbing up and down like a chicken looking for grain.He nodded, then flicked a wing out to the side, sending a heavy gust of wind flying across the room. The girls squeaked and I ducked a bit as a bolt of cloth flew out of the side and smacked into Patrice’s waiting talons. “Let’s start from the ground up. I’m afraid you’ll need to see someone else for proper footwear. I don’t have the talent for such things, but Rosaline knows a few who can provide, I’m certain.”“Shoe shopping sounds nice,” I said.“Oh, it will be!” Rosaline cheered. “I know all the best places.”Patrice moved off to one side and deftly unfolded a partition that stood up to neck-height. “Go stand behind that, I’ll be passing you some clothes,” he said“You don’t need to take my measurements?” I asked.“I’ve looked at you, haven’t I?” he asked.Shrugging, I stepped behind the folding half wall and stood on my tippy-toes so that I could see Patrice at work. He barely paused as bolts of cloth flowed towards him. He cut apart and shaped the cloth with quick swipes of his talons and soon a needle with a long string of thread behind it was snaking through the air and sowing things together without him even looking.“Whoa,” I said. “That’s incredible!” I said.Patrice stood a bit taller at the compliment. “I’ve gotten my main class past its second evolution. Let me tell you, young Miss, being a tailor in a dungeon is not as safe as it sounds.”“Wow!” I said. “That’s really impressive. Is your second class tailoring-related?” I asked.“Wind Mage, actually,” he said. “Makes manipulating cloth easier and gives me some offensive options.”“Most tailors here level through practice,” Amaryllis said.He scoffed. “Most aren’t as good as I am. Try these on.” With a flick, all of the cloth came together and folded itself in midair only to land with a thump atop his hands all neatly pressed. He passed it to me over the edge of the half-wall.I got undressed in a hurry, then put the things he’d given me on one at a time.In the end, I was left standing in a tightly-fit pair of grey-black slacks, a bright blue blouse and a jacket.“The mirror is on the wall over there,” Patrice said while pointing off to the side.I stepped out from behind the half-wall and skipped over to a full length mirror hanging off one wall. The Broccoli in the reflection looked... older. The outfit reminded me less of a ball gown and a lot more of a business woman’s suit. It was all tight in places that made other places look more curvy and yet had sharp edges over the shoulders and sides that made it look tough.The pants had enough flow to them to be feminine, and the jacket emphasised a lot without showing anything. It also made my bum look great. I’d need to find a nice hat that went well with my ears sticking out above them, and some shoes, of course.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.“Ohh, this is gorgeous,” I said.“Of course it is, I made it,” Patrice said.“It’s certainly unconventional,” Amaryllis said.“Awa, I like it.”I nodded along. “I like it too!” I ran my thumbs through the lapels. “People will think I’m an adult now.”“Until you start talking,” Amaryllis said.“I believe it’s your turn, Miss Albatross the younger,” Patrice said.“Should I change back?” I asked.Rosaline nodded from her spot hanging off of Awen. “Yup. Don’t want to ruin the big reveal by walking around the city in your new clothes.”A quick change later and I had my awesome new sorta-dress tucked away in a bag that Patrice made from some scrap cloth with little more than a snap.Then it was Amaryllis’ turn to get all dolled up. Patrice tsked as he moved around her, but he seemed to come to a decision soon enough. “Perhaps an evolution on the standard cockatiel dress?” he muttered. “Yes. That will do. Go off and get undressed, I must work.”Amaryllis huffed and went off behind the partition for a bit while Patrice worked. It was a lot neater to see his work from up close, all the materials flowing into place just-so.When he gave Amaryllis her dress it was with a satisfied smirk.My best harpy friend stepped out a moment or two later, her talons tugging at the material clinging to her hips. I had never seen Amaryllis in something other than pants before. The way she described it, skirts were a no-go for harpies, but now she was in a very tight wrapped skirt that held her legs together and flowed down into a short train behind her.The top kept that wrapped look, exposing one shoulder and a bit of her back without giving away too much. It was made of the same grey-black material as my suit, with the inner layer a bright blue that only showed when she walked and exposed some of her legs.“Ohh,” I said. “You look very pretty!”She leveled a look at me, then moved over to the mirror to twist this way and that. “It’s a bit girly,” she said.“But you look nice,” I said. “Like a mature woman.”“Are you saying that I’m not usually a mature woman?” she snapped right back.“Exactly.”Amaryllis huffed and puffed a bit, but Rosaline and Awen both assured her that she looked very good, and once her ego was smoothed over I could almost see her accepting how she looked in the mirror.My harpy friend didn’t have the biggest self-image issues, not compared to some, but she did desperately want to be taken seriously, and that meant looking the part of someone capable.But capable didn’t mean not pretty.And then Patrice had both Rosaline and Awen step up. “I’ve made clothes for couples before,” he said while ignoring the way Awen ‘eeped’ at the word. “It is always a bit of a challenge. But a couple with mixed races is new. Miss Albatross, would you mind a more human-style dress?”“Ohh, that would be nice,” Rosaline said. “I can just imagine all the nobly old ladies getting their feathers in a twist.”“Indeed,” Patrice said with a dangerous smile. “I live for their scandalous disapproval. The more they squawk the more the younger generation flock to my new styles.”He had some cords flow around the two girls for a bit, then he nodded. “We’ll go with some more muted colours, the sort that won’t flash too hard in the current fashion, but a style that is completely different. A nod to two origins.”Rosaline nodded and Awen seemed to float along next to her.When Patrice sent them both to the other side of the divider to undress I was afraid that Awen might faint, but Rosaline told her that she’d go first with an airy giggle before pushing Awen into my open arms.“Are you okay?” I asked the shorter girl as I gave her a big happy hug.“Awa,” Awen whispered. “I’m... I... I’m very happy, but I’m also.” she paused and pressed her hands to her tummy. “There’s a lot of turmoil inside. I don’t know.”I hugged her harder. “You’ll be okay,” I said. “Take things one step at a time. And if you need to run away for a bit, we have a whole ship to ourselves now, right?”“I don’t think I want to run from this,” Awen said.The hug grew even tighter. Awen was just too precious, especially when Rosaline stepped out from behind the half-wall and she let out a little gasp.Rosaline’s dress was very much classical. With a big hem and flowing skirts set in layers of beige and brown and soft whites. There was some lace there too, but not that much, just enough to draw the eye up and to her exposed shoulder.“What do you think?” she asked as she spun around. “It’s a bit frumpier than what I’m used to, but it’s very... human-ish.”“It’s beautiful,” Awen said with simple honesty.Rosaline blushed happily and skipped over to the mirror to ‘ohh’ and ‘ahh’ at herself.“Your turn?” I asked Awen.“Um,” she said. “Mister Patrice, is it okay if I don’t try on the dress here? Please?”The man had a gleam in his eye. “Most certainly,” he said. “But next time, you have to tell me what she thinks, alright?”Awen nodded quickly.Rosaline was a bit put out at not seeing Awen all prettied up, but she didn’t make too much of a fuss. Soon money changed talons and Patrice let us go with one final suggestion. “Make sure that all those snobby old ones know that it is Patrice who made the works of art you are wearing!”
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Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six — Forewarned is Foreworn
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Six — Forewarned is Foreworn Rosaline claimed to be the greatest expert in the matter of talonware in all of the Nesting Kingdom and beyond. A claim that Amaryllis seemed to grudgingly agree to. The elder sister was, according to Amaryllis, really fond of dragging people to stores to gawk at things.We got back into our carriage and were soon riding along through a section of the city filled with shops and little boutiques. “This is the retail district,” Rosaline said as she leaned over Awen to stick her face in the carriage’s window. “It’s where you can buy the best stuff.”I hadn’t been all that excited for the ball thing before today, but Rosaline’s enthusiasm about it was getting to me. Now I was kind of looking forward to it. “What’s a harpy ball like?” I asked as the carriage rolled off the main market street and onto a back road where there was plenty more room to park.Parking something pulled by horses was a bit trickier than parking a modern car with a transmission that could reverse and wheels that could turn a whole lot.“That depends on the kind of ball,” Rosaline said.“There are sorts?” I asked.Amaryllis huffed and opened the door next to her to jump out. “Of course there are sorts of balls. Each with slightly different etiquettes.”“Some,” Rosaline added. “Are a lot more fun than others. It really depends on their purpose. The seasonal balls held every year tend to be a bit less formal. Especially the Winter Ball over the solstice. Some, like the Ball of the Golden Peak, which is led by the military, are very stiff and boring. But I have to attend anyway because we sell ships to them every year.”“Okay,” I said. “And what about the one we’re going to?”Rosaline waited until we were all gathered at the back of the carriage before she went on. “This one will be a bit boring. It’s a political ball. Lots of hobnobbing and talking and making sure others know you’re bigger and better than they are.”“That does sound a bit boring,” I said.Rosaline gestured down the street and looked both ways before she ran across the street with the rest of us in tow. “Yup!” she said as she landed on the sidewalk opposite. “Did you want more of an itinerary for it?”“I guess that couldn’t hurt,” I said.She nodded along. “Different sorts of parties have different ways of doing things, and there’s always some variation depending on the host. In this case though it’ll probably start with everyone being welcomed in, then gathering in the main hall. Someone will give a boring speech, usually the host. Then a guest of honour will give another boring speech. And then it’s more, but shorter, speeches by a bunch of people.”“That’s a lot of speeches,” I said.“It is,” Amaryllis agreed.Awen nodded along. “That, ah, sounds a lot like some of the balls back home. But not the ones with Uncle. He... made sure there weren’t any speeches.”“How’d he manage that?” Rosaline asked. “I don’t think anyone except for the Goose Prince could get people to skip the speeches.”Awen shrugged a little. “He’s... important enough that people kind of need to let him speak if he wants to,” she said. The harpies nodded as if that made sense. “And when it’s his turn, he just tells one of his stories. One of the long ones.” Her face warmed a bit. “One of the very gr-graphic ones.”Rosealin tapped her chin. “So he ruins the speech part by being so scandalous that they... what, just cancelled them when he’s around?”Awen nodded. “That’s it, yes.”“No,” Amaryllis cut in. “You are most certainly not allowed to try the same tactic. I swear I’ll tell Clem and she will find a way to get Gen-Gen to tan your hide if you do it.”Rosaline cackled with mischievous glee. “Oh, I’d never,” she said. “But I’m sure I can convince someone to make a spectacle of themselves one of these days.”I didn’t quite know how to feel about that. On the one hand, it was a little bit mean. On the other, it seemed like an innocent enough prank to play. “Ah, what about after the speeches?” I asked.“After that?” Rosaline asked. “Then meals are served. Some balls have tables set up with heaps of appetizers. Some have live chefs that can cook fresh food for you while putting on a show. Some serve meals at prepared tables. Most mix it up a bit. I think the one coming up has arranged seating, so you can expect a five course meal and then a roving buffet with digestifs after.”“That sounds really nice,” I said. Like going to one of those fancy restaurants I’d seen in the movies.Rosaline hummed agreeably. “It can be. Having bad food at a ball you’re hosting is a huge social faux-pas.”“I can imagine,” I said.“So, after the meals are all eaten up-most of them are pretty light-there’s a bit more speech-making, but those tend to be less formal and you can eat while they talk. And then it’s mingling and dancing for a couple of hours until the desert is served.”“So that’s the fun part,” I guessed.Rosaline nodded. “It is! Once I managed to arrive so late that I got to skip all of the boring bits. It was wonderful. But then Clem-Clem gave me an earful.”“You deserved it,” Amaryllis said.Our talking had taken us long enough that we’d reached the main street with all the markets. Like Port Royal, the shops seemed to be more or less divided along utilitarian lines. Some groupings selling everyday items, others with a bunch of specialty shops all squeezed together.I found it a bit strange that two competitors would want to be next to each other, but it did seem to encourage them to go big with their advertising.There were panels all over with posters on them and big bright banners hanging above shop doors. Any place that sold food had a few samples out in front, steaming and warm so that their smells would fill the air, and the places that sold less edible things often had glass displays with all of their goods laid out on pedestals.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.The people though, were what really made things feel alive.Harpies were everywhere. Some flapping their wings, others inspecting new goods and some gathered into little pockets of gossip where one or two loud birds cackled away while others listened.There was a lot of raucous laughter in the air, and I felt myself grinning wide as a group of small harpies darted past, their feathers all fluffed up.I saw some grenouilles and humans too, even the odd ostri person walking head and shoulders above the common harpy. It was all very cosmopolitan.“It’s so loud here!” I cheered.“You would like that,” Amaryllis said.Rosaline snorted and poked her sister in the ribs. “Don't be that way. And Broccoli, you should see it when the buskers come out! Sometimes they’ll compete to see which one can outplay the other. It’s a hoot to watch. This way! Shoes await!”Shoe shopping with people who don’t have feet was a new experience. Harpy foot talons were very bird-like, which I supposed was only appropriate. That meant that most of the footwear they did have were more akin to wraps and sandals than anything else. Some had elevated soles meant to be tied in place beneath the rearmost talon and others were made to squish their three big ‘toes’ together.It all seemed a lot more complicated than buying shoes normally.The selection available for me and Awen was a bit smaller, but the place Rosaline brought us had professionals with the Cobbler class and they were able to make anything to order on the spot.In the end, I left with two pairs of shoes. One for everyday wear, and the other, a nice pair of black leather Mary Janes with a tiny heel at the back and a nice blue strap that matched my new blouse. Awen picked out a more adventurous heel that she apparently knew how to walk and dance in, and the harpy sisters both bickered and argued for a bit before buying half a dozen pairs of wraps and shoes, much to the evident content of the store’s owner.“What’s next?” I asked as I swung my bag around.“I’m thinking hats!” Rosaline said. She wasn’t wearing anything on her head, but a glance around showed that quite a few harpy women were wearing some sort of hat.Now that I looked, it seemed as if it was only the young that went without something on their head. The richer someone’s clothes, the more elaborate and colourful the headwear, which made its own sort of sense.“Is there a nice hat shop around here?” I asked.“The best!” Rosaline claimed with unusual seriousness.She led us along through the crowds until we reached a big store. The shop took up enough room for three others, with wide glass windows at the front split by statuesque columns, each one with rows of wooden heads with beautiful headpieces on them. From pointy wizard caps to pretty floral bonnets.“Whoa,” I said as I took in the imposing sign above the entrance. The words ‘Hat Emporium’ stood tall and proud before a wooden backdrop.“This is the place for hats and such,” Roasaline said.We were announced by the jingle of a bell above the door, loud chimes calling out across the open floor of the hat shop, telling the world that we had arrived. Not that the people within paid us all that much attention. There were nice hats to look at and try on, after all.“So many,” I said as I took in all the pretty hats.Skipping over to a display of bowler hats, I picked one off the rack and tried to try it on.Unfortunately, I ran into a pair of big problems; big bunny-eared shaped problems.I heard Amaryllis snort from behind me a moment before she carefully removed the bowler hat from my hands and placed it atop her own head. “I think we’re going to need to ask someone that works here for some assistance,” she said.“Do you think they make hats for buns here?” I asked.“Certainly. Let’s leave my sister and Awen to tease each other and find some help, shall we?”A glance over my shoulder showed a grinning Rosaline placing a bonnet atop Awen’s head. The little flowers on it matched her blonde hair and rosy cheeks.Amaryllis pulled me along to the front of the store where a young harpy girl was standing behind a counter with the happy smile all retail workers wore when before a client. “Hello. May I assist you?” she asked while glancing up at my head. “Are you looking for the exotic heads section?”“Exotic heads?” I asked.She nodded, then gestured towards a far corner. “For our clients with... unique cranial features. You can also have any normal headwear modified for a small custom tailoring fee.”“That sounds nice,” I said. “We’ll go check that out!”Of all the things I expected from growing a pair of cute bunny ears atop my head, having to pay a premium for a nice hat to compliment them was not one of them. The hats in the corner for exotic heads were a bit older looking, some of them clearly made for heads that were much bigger or shaped way different than what I’d come to expect.Amaryllis found a pair of bonnets that had holes in them for bun ears, but they were too small to fit my head.I sighed. “This is annoying,” I said as I pulled a straw hat from off a nearby mannequin. “I guess I’ll just need to buy a normal hat and pay for someone to tailor a pair of holes into it. Saying so, I poked my fingers where I expected the holes would need to be.I didn’t expect my fingers to break through the straw.“...Oops.”Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the class skill: Mad Millinery!
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Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven — In Which Broccoli Gets to Wear Many Hats
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Seven — In Which Broccoli Gets to Wear Many Hats I stared at the straw hat with its one poked-through hole, then I glanced up at the prompt I’d summoned from Mister Menu.Mad MillineryF — 00%The ability to gain proficiency or skills from wearing headgear.I looked back down at the straw hat and tried to put two and two together in a way that made sense. Instead I came up with a fat load of nothing.Amaryllis leaned to the side a little, as if to better see my face. “I can ask the woman at the counter to see if they have a washroom,” she said.“What?”She gestured to my face. “You’re either more confused than usual, or you’re trying hard not to pass gas.”“Amaryllis!” I said before looking around to make sure no one heard. “That’s rude!”“Says you,” she said. “So what’s got you so confused? It can’t be the hat. If it falls apart at one poke it’s just plain unimpressive. We might have to buy it to avoid making a scene though.”I wiggled the hat I’d poked. “When I made a hole in this I got a skill,” I said.She closed her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh. “Please tell me you didn’t get some hat-destruction skill?”I shook my head. “No, nothing like that,” I said. “I got.... Mad Millinery.”Her brows knit together and she looked between the hat and myself. “That’s a new one to me. Millinery not so much. It’s a rather dull but necessary profession. It’s the ‘Mad’ part that sounds bizarre.”“Yeah,” I said. “The skill description says something about gaining skills from wearing headgear.”Amaryllis’ eyes narrowed. She took the hat from my hands, twisted it around a bit, then jammed a talon through it to make a hole opposite the one I’d already made. “Put this on,” she said.I snorted and bowed my head a bit so that my ears could dip forwards. It was kind of tricky pointing them into the holes, like sliding a thread through the eye of a needle, only instead of thread it was a somewhat prehensile furry limb and instead of a hole it was... a hole with bits of quashed straw around it.Wiggling my head a little so that my ears waddled through did the trick once the first bits were through, though that did make the tufts of white fur at the base of my ears squish too.New Skill Acquired: FrolickingRank: FI blinked. “Amaryllis,” I said.She took a deep breath as if expecting something terrible. “Yes, Broccoli?”“I just unlocked the Frolicking skill.”The harpy smacked a wing over her face. “World dammit, Broccoli.”I pulled the hat off my head and held it up halfway up my ears.Skill Lost: Frollicking“Ohh,” I said. “I get it.” I let the hat go and it plopped back down after I wiggled my ears a bit to loosen them. I regained the Frollicking skill. “My new skill provides a skill based on the hat I’m wearing.”“That doesn’t make sense,” Amaryllis said.“Of course it does,” I said. “It’s a skill-skill. The hat helps you do something, in this case.” I tapped the brim of the straw hat. “Frollicking! I guess that at the lowest rank the skill it gives isn’t all that helpful, but I bet it’ll get higher if I get my Mad Millinery skill up too.”“And how, exactly, would you increase that skill’s rank?” Amaryllis asked.I rolled my eyes. Not because I was an eye-rolling kind of girl, but because I knew it would bother the heck out of Amaryllis and she was cute when she got flustered. “Obviously by wearing nice hats.”I frollicked expertly over to the nearest rack of bun-wearable hats and started to search through them. This new skill was giving me all sorts of ideas. Not only was I now able to get some new, temporary skills, it also allowed me to try all sorts of things that I might like. And then I could figure out which hat was appropriate for any given situation.It was perfect!“Just don’t go overboard,” Amaryllis said as she followed me at a more sedate and boring pace. “I’m not going to bankroll your hat-shopping spree.”“Just you wait. I’ll find a banker hat and become rich in no time at all.”I slid the sunhat off and handed it to Amaryllis who tucked it under a wing, then I looked over the many, many hats on display. I couldn’t afford that many of them, so I’d need to pick out those with the neatest skills tied to them.The first hat I picked off the rack was the strangest one there. A pair of long wooly tubes that looked more like socks, held together with a cloth strap between them. They were open at the ends and very floppy.I wasn’t entirely sure they weren’t socks until I used Insight on them.A pair of new Bun earmuffs of uncommon quality.I picked up the earmuffs and carefully slid my ears into the tube until just the tip was sticking out of the top. They were quite snuggly and warm, and the little strap made to run down under my chin kept them firmly in place.New Skill Acquired: Cold ResistanceRank: F“Huh, cold resistance,” I said. A glance at the price, which was fairly low, and I decided that I could use a pair of nice warm earmuffs. I might have to buy a second pair for my other ears, but that was okay. I bet I could find some with matching colours! Or contrasting colours!This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.I gave the bunny-ear muffs to Amaryllis, then picked up a nice bonnet with some silk-lined holes cut into it.New Skill Acquired: IntimidationRank: FI pulled the bonnet off and used Insight on it.A pretty floral bonnet of common quality.“Oh-kay,” I said as I set that one aside.I tried on a beanie that gave a bonus to poison resistance, and a small sombrero that granted guitar-playing skills.Those weren’t the hats that really had me excited though. Those I set aside and lined them all up. Three beautiful pieces of headwear that stood out from all the rest.The first was a nice top hat, all black satin with a red band around it that partially hid the holes cut into it. I set it atop my head with all the reverence it deserved, then grinned wide as its prompt appeared before me.New Skill Acquired: CajoleryRank: F“Perfect,” I said. “I should wear this one to the ball!”Amaryllis tilted her head to one side. “The band’s the wrong colour,” she pointed out.“I’m sure I can find a blue one to go on top of it. Or we could get it replaced. It can’t be that hard.”“Fair enough. What’s the skill for it?” she asked.“Cajolery,” I said. “It’s not ballroom dancing or gentlemanliness like I thought it might be, but it still sounds like a useful social skill to have.”She nodded. “That does sound good to have. World knows you might need it.”I added the hat to the hat pile, then picked up the next one. It was a tricorn, with a big feather in its side and an expertly pinched top. It was no doubt one of the biggest, most elaborate hats around, especially with the bits of silver poking through in the form of bird-shaped brooches here and there.New Skill Acquired: CaptainingRank: F“Yes!” I cheered. “Sky captain Bunch is a go!”Amaryllis shook her head to hide a smile. “You got an airship-related skill?” she asked.“Captaining,” I said. “It sounds perfect.”She sighed. “I suppose. The only issue is that I’d have to accept you as my captain on our trip.”I turned to her, eyes widening and ears drooping.“Urgh, I don’t mind it that much,” she said. “Now stop looking at me as if I’ve offered to sell your eggs by the dozen.”I laughed and pulled her into a quick hug. A quick one, because I had one last hat to try on. The tricorn came off and was added to the growing yes pile, and then I rubbed my hands together in mounting anticipation.The final hat, unlike the tricorn, didn’t have all that many embellishments, feathers or doodads stuck to it. It was a rather plain hat, if a bit of a big one.“Insight,” I muttered.An old bun wizard's hat of uncommon quality.For all its plainess, the wizard’s hat was gorgeous. Tall, with a floppy peak and a brim so wide that it gave the sombrero a run for its money, the wizard’s hat was exactly what I imagined a proper wizard ought to wear.“That thing is disgustingly old fashioned,” Amaryllis said.“It’s perfect,” I rebutted as I picked it up and plopped it on. The hat’s brim drooped a bit around me, and its peak flopped from one side to the other until it was pushing one of my bun ears out of the way, but it was still a comfortable fit.New Skill Acquired: Mana ManipulationRank: F“Yes!” I said as I bounced up and down. I crashed into Amaryllis with a big happy hug so that I could share some of the joy. “It gives Mana Manipulation! Fireballs for days!”“I shudder in sympathy for the world,” she deadpanned.I giggled as I imagined how much easier casting big complicated fireballs would be now. To be fair, at rank F, it wasn’t that big of a boost. In fact, the lowest rank of stuff didn’t seem to give any instincts or knowledge at all, nothing that I couldn’t figure out, at least. So I’d need to get things to rank E and D to really profit from it.Which meant grinding my ability to wear hats.That sounded easy enough.“Are you going to try on your turtle hat?” Amaryllis asked.I nodded. “Of course! I’ve been wearing that one for a long time now. But it’s back at your house.”I hadn’t seen much point in shopping with armour on, so I’d gone out in only the dress part of my battledress. It was a lot breezier and not as heavy.“Can you pass me the straw hat? I want to see if I can practice my frolicking technique.”“You moron,” she muttered as she juggled through the pile of hats I’d been shoving into her arms and fetched the one at the very bottom. In thanks, I plopped my new wizard hat atop her head.“That looks nice on you,” I said. “You should get a proper wizard-y outfit. Maybe a staff?”“That’s a bit phallic for me,” she dismissed.I shrugged. I didn’t know what style that was, but if she didn’t think it suited her, then that was that.“You’re thinking stupid thoughts again,” Amaryllis said.“What? No I’m not! I’m thinking that you’re able to pick out your own way of dressing,” I said.She narrowed her eyes. “That sounds borderline idiotic.”I protested in the most civil way I could think of by sticking my tongue out at her and frolicking my way over to the counter to pay for my bounty of new hats.
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Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Eight — Clearing the Air
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Eight — Clearing the Air I pushed the brush forwards, carefully edging it along the sides of the plank so that not one drop dribbled off the edge. The wood beneath took on a beautiful wet sheen that matched the rest of the deck.Lowering the brush, I used the sleeve of a big shirt Gen-Gen had found for me, and wiped at my forehead. There was still a lot of the Beaver Cleaver’s deck to cover in varnish, but what I had done looked great. The sticky paint-like stuff made the wood look a lot darker and shinier, and with a bit of well-focused Cleaning magic I could remove any dust or stray leaves that landed on the stuff before it dried.Gen-Gen had even helped me find a big floppy hat covered in colourful stains.New Skill Acquired: PaintingRank: FThe ship was really coming along. Awen had replaced some of the pulleys with a bit of help from some mechanics that Rosaline sent, and the hull was completely repainted already.The entire ship was cleaned from top to bottom already, which certainly helped make it look newer.All we needed to do was finish up the painting and bring in some new furnishings for the inside. We didn’t need all that many bedrooms and rooms inside, and since we weren’t exactly using him for cargo hauling or anything, the room inside the Beaver was kind of... vast.At least, it was vast when I considered how space on an airship was usually at a premium.I was dipping my long-handled brush back in the pan of varnish when I heard some clunking from off to the side. A head of blonde hair soon appeared over the side of the ship between the two poles of a ladder, followed by Awen’s big inquisitive eyes. “Ah... hi,” she said, just her head and shoulders poking over the gunwale.“Hey!” I said. “You might want to wait before coming back up. I just painted that part of the deck and it’s probably still wet.”“Oh,” she said with a glance down. “Yes, okay. I wasn’t here to...”She lapsed into silence for a moment."To?" I finally prodded.Awen didn’t meet my eyes for a moment. I saw her hands tighten and loose on the topmost rung of the ladder. “Broccoli, I need help,” she said in a voice so small I had to strain all four ears to hear it.I dropped my brush to the side and walked over, ignoring the prints I was leaving on the still-wet deck. “Okay,” I said. “What do you need?”“Awa, it’s not that u-urgent!” Awen stammered. She wiggled her hands about in denial a bit, started to tip backwards, then seized the rung again. “Um... but, but if you want to talk now then that’s okay too, I suppose. Not here though.”I nodded and stepped up onto the ship’s railing. “In the workshop?” I asked. “I’m kind of curious to know what you’re working on.”“Ah, yes, okay.” Awen said before she started to scramble down the steps.I hopped down and landed in the courtyard below with bent knees and a big huff of expelled breath. A glance up the ship a dozen meters up showed Awen moving down with surprising alacrity.I might have taken the ladder too, but it wasn’t as fun, and I was wearing an old ratty skirt that one of the maids had insisted I wear instead of my battledress. They were probably worried I’d get it stained. Ladders and skirts just didn’t mix.Awen landed with a soft thud on the grass next to me, then she spent a moment brushing her clothes before turning my way. “Um. This way?” she asked.I nodded along, a bit of a smile tugging at the corner of my lips, but I didn’t want her to think that I thought she was really cute when she was all proper-like because that would make her feel bad.Awen led me over to the workshops that she’d practically been living in since Rosaline showed them to her. I supposed that she had years of pent-up tinkering to work through, and now that she had all the tools she could want or need at her disposal, she was going all out.There were a lot of projects strewn about and half-finished. I could only guess at what half of them were even supposed to be.The tension in Awen’s shoulders loosened a bit as we stood in the shop. She faced some of the machines and knickknacks covering an otherwise tidy workbench.I wanted to ask her what she needed help with, but I had the impression that she didn’t just need a pair of hands to lift something up, so I gave her some time to get her thoughts in order.That could be hard sometimes. I often found my mind going to all sorts of weird places when I let it.“Broccoli,” Awen began. She picked a wrench from the workbench and started to fiddle with it. “Did you ever fall in love before?”That explained what this was all about, at least in part. I took a moment to think of a nice answer for her. We would probably be retreading some earlier conversations again, but that was okay too. “Not really,” I said. “At least, not in the way you mean.”She turned the wrench over slowly. “What do you mean?” she asked.I found a cleared bit of bench and hopped onto it so that I was sitting. “There’re..” I paused and changed tactics. “There’s a place where I’m from that speaks a different language. They have a bunch of words for love. They mean different things. Like how you might love your parents and siblings, or how you love a friend, or you might love someone who’s really special to you.”Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.Awen nodded her understanding.“I love you. And I love Amaryllis. And I love Orange too when she’s not being a pain in the butt.” Which reminded me... where was Orange? I set that aside for the moment.“I think I see,” Awen said. She turned around fully, still idly fiddling with the wrench. “Broccoli, do girls where you’re from like... other girls?”“Some of them do,” I said. “Not all of them, of course.”“Oh. Back home that’s... not something that’s normal.”I didn’t know what to say about that. I really wanted to hug her, because hugs made things better, but I wasn’t sure if that was appropriate just yet. “I guess you can make it normal, then,” I said.Awen smiled wistfully for just a moment before the expression dropped with a sigh. She set the wrench onto the bench behind her and pressed a hand over her heart. “I don’t know how I’ve been feeling,” she said. “About Rosaline and about... you. It’s all weird, and I don’t know if I have the words for it. But it’s-it’s not nice, but it’s also not bad.”I tightened my grip on the edge of the table I was sitting on. “I think that maybe you’ve been through a lot? Like getting away from your family, and being free, and then being around me and now with Rose. You had a lot of big adventures in a short time.”Awen nodded. “I guess. I just don’t know what to do now.”I grinned over to her. “You can do whatever you want Awen. I’ll always be there to support you,” I said.She smiled back, a small smile, but a smile still. “You make it really hard sometimes,” she said.I was going to ask what she meant, but Awen stepped across the room and came to stand right up in front of me.“Broccoli,” she said.“Awen?”And then she leaned forwards and pressed her lips against mine. Just a quick peck that ended as soon as it began.Awen scampered back, face blossoming in bright red. “I’m... sorry. It’s just, you said that I was free, that I could do what I wanted and I’ve wanted to do that since I met you. And I know you’re not that way. And that’s okay. I think, I think I’m better now. But it’s all thanks to you and-”“Awen,” I said. Now I was the one blushing a bit. “It’s... okay?”She looked down, not that it did much to hide the incandessence of her face. “I... okay,” she said. “I’m going to date Rosaline.”I blinked. That had come from nowhere. “Uh. Alright.”“I don’t know if I feel the same way about her as I do... but that’s okay. She’s nice, and friendly, and I think that even if things don’t work out we’ll still be friends. So it’ll be nice to learn and-” she swallowed as her face somehow got even more red. “And try new things.”I nodded. “That does sound nice,” I said. “Can I be your bridesmaid if you get married?”“Awa! No! It’s too soon for that kind of thing!”I giggled and jumped off the bench to pull Awen into a big hug. She tensed for just a moment before loosening up. “So,” I said. “Want to show me what you’ve been building?”“Yes!” Awen said. She nodded her head like a crazed woodpecker and started to gesture at things. I let her go so that she could show off better.“What did you make?” I asked.“I started by improving on the design for my crossbow. It’s got a sight now, like a telescope. I still need to mark its ranges But that’s an issue for later.” She grabbed my wrist and pulled me deeper into the workshop while her voice grew faster and more excited. “I got to thinking. My uncle always said that air-piracy was a bit of a problem, and that the best way to get past them was to be an unappealing target. Even tigers hesitate to eat a hedgehog. But the Beaver Cleaver isn’t very scary looking, so that wouldn’t work.”“Okay,” I said.“So I had another idea.” She stopped before a big thing and gestured at it. “This!”I stared. It was about the size of a bike, with a bench at the back, set atop a pair of steel rails and a sort of turnable base with little notches to lock it in place. The entire front of it had not one but three recurve crossbows mounted one atop the other with a complex mechanism that I suspected was made to reload it with the pull of a crank.“What is it?” I asked.“It’s a rapid-firing automatic ballista,” Awen said. “It’s like my crossbow, but it fires much bigger and stronger bolts.” She opened up a box next to the chair and pulled out a three foot long shaft with some fletching on one end and a glass head on the other. “See the head? It’s a bulb that you can fill with anything you want. I was thinking some reactants could do the trick. Rosaline mentioned one that catches fire when in contact with the air. So it could be very dangerous against wooden ships. And we could fill them with acids too! If we come up against a more modern ship it could do a lot of damage to their hull. But I think the kinetic damage alone would do a lot.”“Yes!”“And the rails,” she went on. “I’m thinking that we can make them go from one side of the ship to the other. So that we could fire from both sides with only one device and it can be safely stored in the cargo hold until it’s needed. I made it so that you can turn it by moving your foot on that pedal, and unlock it with the other foot, and when you’re not moving, that third pedal cranks new bolts into the feed.”I smiled and let her babble on until Amaryllis found us some minutes later and started yelling at us to get ready for our big evening.
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Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine — Prelude to Disaster
Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Nine — Prelude to Disaster I tugged at my blouse, then at the seat of my pants, all the while staring at the Broccoli Bunch in the mirror.The suit somehow made me look very... handsome. I didn’t quite have the chin to pull it off, but I think it was suitably cute, especially after Awen helped me do up my hair in a nice braid and Rosaline applied just a pinch of makeup to my cheeks and eyes.It was all topped by my top hat, now equipped with a nice blue ribbon around its band so that it matched my shirt and a big floppy bow to make it prettier.I looked like a grown-up, which was natural because that’s totally what I was.“Are you done staring at yourself?” Amaryllis’ voice asked from my bedroom’s doorway.Grinning, I turned around and nodded. “Yup, all done,” I said before taking a moment to look her up and down. Her dress was very nice, all sleek and curvy. “You look very pretty,” I said.“And you look like less of an idiot than usual,” she replied in a deadpan. “Clementine is insisting that everyone gather in the hall before we head out. She can’t grasp the concept of fashionably late, so we’ll probably arrive with an hour to spare.”“That’s alright. More time for talking and that kind of thing.”She rolled her eyes and let out a little ‘fine’ huff. “You would enjoy that, I suppose. Some of us have had years of these kinds of balls to endure. Trust me, the magic wears off.”“Is there Ball magic?”“You idiot.”I stepped out of the room, looped an arm around Amaryllis' wing, and held her close as we made our way down towards the main hall. “I think tonight might be fun,” I said. “We’ll have all sorts of new people to meet and friends to talk to. I’m certain we’ll have a blast. Ohh, and Rosaline and Awen are going to dance and it will be very romantic, and I bet I can find a couple of nice harpy boys to boogie down with.”“I don’t know what boogieing is, but please keep it to a minimum,” Amaryllis asked. “It sounds like the kind of thing that would ruin the Albatross clan’s reputation.”“It’s fun!”“Exactly,” she said.We arrived in the great hall to find Clementine sitting still in a big plush chair while a trio of maids fussed with her head feathers and smoothed down the pleats of her flowing pants. The customary dress worn by a harpy noblewoman was a little strange.They reminded me of those pants people used to think were cool back in the nineties until they got older and realized that they were the opposite. It still looked a lot more practical than a big hoop dress or something overly complex like that.“You’ve finally arrived,” Clementine said a moment before freezing up so that one of the maids could dab a ball of powder-covered cotton against her cheeks.“Yup!” I said.“Wonderful,” was her reply as soon as the maids were done. She stood up and dismissed them with a wave and a nod of thanks. “I sent Gen-Gen up to go fetch Rosaline. As far as she’s concerned the actual starting time is an hour earlier than usual, an hour before the extra hour we’re already leaving at. It’s that, or she’d never be ready.”I snorted. “That’s clever.”“I know my sisters,” Clementine confirmed. “What about Awen? Is she ready yet?”I nodded. “Yeah, I think so. She just needs to get over her jitters, but she’s a brave girl. She’ll come around.”“Good. On a related note, Miss Bunch, could I ask that you stay near either myself or Amaryllis?”“Sure?” I asked.Clementine pressed her talons to her chest and then let her arm drop. “I know that you’re not entirely familiar with how things function in our... tier of society. So keep close to one of us at all times. If things become complex we can at least bail you out.”“Or explain that you’re a country bumpkin who doesn’t know any better,” Amaryllis added.I stuck my tongue out at her just as the sound of steps came from the spiral staircase at the back of the room.Rosaline appeared, both arms full of the fluff from her poofy dress and a big grin on her face. “I’m ready!” she called out.“About time,” Clementine said. “The coach has already pulled up.”“You can’t complain this time,” Rosaline said. “I’m not even the last to arrive.” She glanced around the room, counting us off one by one. “Where’s Awen?”“She was getting ready,” I said. “Do you want me to get her?”Clementine nodded. “That would be nice, yes.”I skipped along towards the guest wing and past my own room until I was near Awen’s. The door was just a little bit ajar, but I knocked anyway. I didn’t want to catch Awen half-dressed. She was the sort to embarrass easily about that kind of thing.“Um, yes?” came the soft reply. I heard cloth rustling and moving about.“It’s me,” I said. “Do you need help with anything?”“N-no, it’s fine!” Awen said. Her shoes click-clacked closer to the door and it opened to reveal a flushed young woman in a shapely dress. It was more of a summer dress than the ones I’d seen her and her mom wearing back at their home. The hem was long and flowing, but still stopped just past her knees and the top was cut just low enough to be a little daring.“Wow,” I said before giving her a thumbs-up. “You look great.”“Awa, thank you,” Awen said before clasping her hands together over her tummy. “Do you think Rosaline will like it?”I snorted. “I think that she’d be very silly if she didn’t.” I reached out a hand towards her, and after only a bit of hesitation, Awen grasped it so that I could pull her along after me and head back to the entrance hall.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.I walked in first, pulling the three harpy sister’s attention away from some bickering, then stepped aside so that they could see Awen in all her splendor.The reactions on Amaryllis and Clementine were rather muted. They took in Awen at a glance then lost interest in her prettiness, which was only fair.Rosaline, on the other hand, paused for a long moment, then her cheeks reddened under her make-up and she broke out into a huge grin. “You look wonderful!” she said.Awen turned her focus to the floor. “Ah... thank you,” she said.Rosaline came to stand next to Awen, then extended an elbow at her. Awen caught on fast and carefully grabbed the limb and hugged it close to her side. She was still looking down, but her smile was unmistakable.“Very well, let’s head out,” Clementine said.The eldest harpy sister led us out of the front doors of the mansion and towards a waiting carriage sitting out front. A young harpy boy opened the door for us and set a stool in place to make it easier for those with big skirts to climb in. The way he was staring at the sisters though hinted that they were all quite pretty.As soon as we were all squeezed in, the coach took off and we were heading to the ball.“This is going to be so much fun,” I said. “I can’t wait to meet all sorts of cool people and eat so much food. I skipped breakfast and lunch you know? I’m so hungry I could puke.”“Please don’t,” Amaryllis asked. “I’d also advise that you don’t eat like a pig; seeing you destroy traditional meals would set some of these old harpies to squawking.”We went back and forth for a bit while the carriage rumbled along over the cobbled roads. The place where the ball was taking place wasn’t all that far. Apparently the big name clans all sort of lived close to each other and the Albatross, while not the biggest, did have their estates rather close to the other big clan’s.We slowed down as we reached a line of carriages that extended around a curved entrance towards a large tower-like building. It was huge and tall and rather square. A bit squat compared to most homes I’d seen so far, but it made up for it by having plenty of windows at the front filled with warm yellow light and stonework that was carved with images of harpies looking very noble and important.When our carriage arrived at the front of the building at last, a valet harpy opened the door and assisted those with skirts out of the carriage. The air outside was nice, but the sun was beginning to set and I didn’t doubt that it would be dark soon.I landed with a ‘hup’ next to a valet who stared with one eyebrow lifted. There were dozens of harpies around, all in their fanciest clothes. Most of the men were in well-fitted suits, not dissimilar to what I would expect a nobleman to wear back on Earth, but their pants were often cut off at the knees and their suits ended near the elbow where their wings began.The women wore more varied dresses, usually with the sort of flowing pants that Clementine had on. The big difference were the men and women in more militaristic outfits that looked like the suits but with sharper lines and no ascots, regardless of gender.Rosaline pulled ahead with Awen still glued to her side. “This way!” she called out, her voice ringing over the subdued hubbub around the entrance.That earned us a few looks, looks that stayed when those around us noticed that there were two humans among all the harpies. I hoped that we weren’t the only non-harpies at the party.“She’s right,” Amaryllis said. “Between lingering out here and indoors, I’d rather be indoors.”I shrugged. Either way was fine with me. The mountain air may've been clear, but the night chill was coming on, and the inside of the building looked warm and inviting.A butler stood by the entrance with a large floating scroll beside him. “Greetings, and welcome to the Owlflight estate,” he said. “May I enquire as to your names?”Clementine stepped up. “Clementine, Rosaline and Amaryllis Albatross, of Clan Albatross, and two guests.”The butler paused while looking over his scroll. “Guests, ma’am?”“Broccoli Bunch, of the Bunch family, and Awen Bristlecone, of the Bristlecones,” Clementine said.Recognition flashed in the butler’s eyes. “Of course. Please step into the foyer, you will be announced shortly.”We followed Clementine into a rather small room, one with a door leading off to one side towards what I suspected was a washroom and a wall with coat racks and a mirror to the other side. The far end had a large set of double doors, one of them ajar.I was going to ask what the room was for then the butler scribbled something on a note and flicked it to the side. The sheet flew through the air, across the room, and out the other door.“What’s going on?” I asked.Amaryllis brushed her dress flat across her tummy. “We’re going to be announced,” she said. “This is a waiting chamber, in case a lady needs the facilities to touch herself up before meeting everyone else. It’s a courtesy.”“Oh,” I said. That kind of made sense. “And what was up with giving our names like that?”“You’re guests,” Clementine said. “It’s a little strange, but not too much so. More because of your species than anything else. The whole names are to give you a bit of... sovereignty. It helps that Bristlecone is a rather... infamous name.”“That’s uncle’s fault,” Awen said.I could imagine Abraham making a bit of a scene, or being important enough that his name carried weight.“We’re about to be called in,” Clementine said. “Look sharp everyone.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty — A Canadian Riftwalker in the Harpies' Court
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty — A Canadian Riftwalker in the Harpies' Court “Introducing!” The announcer called out, his voice ringing out across the ballroom.The girls and I stood at the threshold of the entrance overlooking the main floor. The area was built rather strangely. There was a large open floor with a square in the middle for dancing and a stage beyond that where a harpy woman was pulling a bow across the strings of a violin while a band set up behind her.The room was ringed by two balconies on the second and third floor, each one with railings around them that let the people mingling there look down onto the dance floor proper. Some younger harpies were jumping down from the second floor and onto the first with a few flaps of their arms to soften their landings.The chairs and tables where food would probably be served were all on the second and third floor, which left the first open to let people chat and, presumably, dance, though it seemed as if it wasn’t time for that yet.The herald took a deep breath. “Lady Amaryllis Albatross. Lady Rosaline Albatross. Lady Clementine Albatross. And guests, Lady Awen Bristlecone. Lady Broccoli Bunch.”I watched the Albatross sisters to know what to do next. All three stepped up as one and cleared the area around the entrance. Awen was still hooked onto Rosaline, so I decided to skip after Amaryllis to keep her company. “Do we get food now?” I asked.She snorted. “Your one-track mind is showing,” she said. “There’s another hour, maybe two, before the food is served.”My tummy didn’t like that news, not one bit. “Not even snacks?” I asked.“It’s a bit of a faux-pas for a lady to eat before the food is served. But there are some finger-foods for the men.” She gestured upwards. “They should be served a floor up or so. Somewhere out of the way.”“There’s sexism in the food order?” I asked. It was the first big display of anything like that I’d really seen. I had thought that the harpy were egalitarian, or nearly so.Amaryllis shrugged. “It’s tradition? If it helps, the ladies get desert foods after that the men don’t.”I scrunched my nose up in distaste. “Do you think I could use my country bumpkinness to get away with a snack or two?”Amaryllis grinned. “I’m certain,” she said. She gestured to the side and towards a staircase tucked away in a corner. “Shall we?”“Sure!” I said. My goal at the ball was to... be at the ball? I was really just there to be with my friends and maybe meet some new potential friends. It was Clementine who had an actual mission and responsibilities. I just had to keep my head down and eat lots.We climbed the stairs and moved to the second floor, or maybe it was the first balcony as opposed to an actual floor. I was certain they had their own fancy terms for it.The lighting was just a bit dimmer. Not so dark as to make it hard to see or cause you to bump into a chair, but dark enough to make the space feel smaller and more homey, with only the occasional lamp hanging off of pillars to light the room. The dance floor had been very bright, especially with the way it was all polished and shiny.“There,” Amaryllis said as she waved a wing towards the end of the room.There was a buffet table, with silver plates and platters covered in little bits of food that I couldn’t quite identify from across the room. True to what Amaryllis said, the only people around it was a group of harpy boys of about our age.Another table nearby had what looked like punch and bottles of wine with a servant behind them pouring for those who wanted something to drink. At least that seemed to be gender-neutral.“What’s the best snack?” I asked as I pulled Amaryllis along behind me.“At a ball like this? There will be some fish. There’s a pastry called a golden wing which is just cuts of fish pressed into a sort of soft dough and fried. It looks like a feather. I quite like those.”“Why’s it called a wing if it looks like a feather?” I asked.Amaryllis blinked. “I don’t know,” she finally said. It sounded a bit defensive.Giggling, I pulled up to the buffet and started eyeing up all the food. I was just reaching out to grab a small plate-an actual plate, not the sort of plastic plate I would have expected at any of the parties I’d even been at-when I heard Amaryllis groan.“Oh no,” she muttered.I looked over to her, then followed her gaze over to the young harpy men. There were four of them, and they were coming our way. That much was fine, they were probably coming for the food, maybe even to tell me that I was too much of a girl for the food meant for them, but the sneers they wore and the way they were focused on Amaryllis instead of me said otherwise.“Amaryllis Albatross,” the harpy in the lead said. He was a tallish boy, with brownish-red feathers that I suspected made him a hawk harpy. He would have been handsome if he wasn’t wearing an expression like someone who just walked home to find that their dog pooped on the carpet.“Oh, it’s... you,” Amaryllis said. She frowned a little. “What was your name again?”The lack of panic over forgetting his name suggested that it was all a ruse to poke at the young man, which, judging by how red he got, worked exactly as planned. He took a deep breath, then let it out as a whistle between grit teeth as he reigned in his anger. “I do believe you know my name, Lady Albatross,” he said.“I don’t!” I said. I smiled big and happy at him and his friends. Maybe I could turn the situation around? There was no reason we couldn’t all get along.The boy looked me up and down, then scoffed dismissively. “Is this one of the friends you made when you ran away from your duties, Amy?” he asked.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.Amaryllis huffed, a very dangerous huff. “As a point of fact, she is, Francis.”The harpy’s face turned red again.“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Francis,” I said. “My name’s Broccoli!”“My name,” he said. “Is Francisco. Francisco Hawk of the Hawk clan.”“That’s nice,” I said. “Who are your friends?”Francisco paused for a moment, looking a bit confused until Amaryllis snorted while holding back a laugh. “They are of no concern to you,” he said. “How about you leave me and my fiancée to talk; I’m certain someone of your sort can find something productive to do with your time.”My smile didn’t so much as twitch, though it wanted to. “Fiancée?” I asked.Amaryllis looked unconcerned, but I’d been her friend for weeks and I knew that something was up. “We had a contract. Emphasis on had. I would like a husband of... quality, you see.”“Okay, okay, wait!” I said as I stepped up between the two and raised my hands. “I’ve seen this scene in like, a dozen books before. You’re both going to keep sniping at each other, and it’s only going to get worse, and then someone’s going to end up calling a duel or something and none of us want that.”Francisco glared at me. “Who do you think you are?” he asked.I stared at him. “Do you have any idea who I am?” I asked.The man hesitated for a moment. “No, no I’m afraid I don’t,” he said.I really, really wanted to start spouting off some sort of ridiculous title. Like I’m Broccoli Bunch, the breaker of dungeons and rider of dragons. I have risen ten levels in less than a month, befriended necromancers and kidnapped princesses. I am a riftwalker, called to the world to make it my friend! But saying something like that would be super rude.“Well... okay, so I’m not actually anyone important, but I might have been, and if I was then being rude like that would be really silly. Heck, even if I’m not... which is actually the case, being rude is just kind of not nice. I’m sure we can all talk civilly about things.”Francisco didn’t seem to know how to handle that, but his buddies seemed to know just what to do. One of them, the biggest of the lot, made himself look bigger by puffing out his chest, and the others glared. “Back away from Lord Hawk, you bun peasant.”I snorted.I saw Amaryllis’ hands tighten into little balls and she glared right past Francisco and to his friend who’d spoken. “Keep your tongue in check,” she said.I wanted to slap my hand over my face as that only got Francisco to puff up even more. “An ironic statement from the likes of you,” he said. “I can recall your reputation suggesting that you had a hard time doing just that yourself. A problem I was told I’d need to fix as your mate.”“How fortunate for you that you’ll never have to fix anything of the sort,” Amaryllis said. “I pity any lady that lets the likes of you close to her eggs.”Francisco crooned a sort of growl and leaned forwards as if trying to intimidate Amaryllis. Amaryllis who’d fired spells at a dragon before. It didn’t work very well. “You Albatross are all the same. You’re just like that slattern sister of yours. I’m glad that our blood never mixed.”Had... had he just insulted Rosaline?“Do you want to solve this in an arena?” Amaryllis asked. She looked perfectly calm, but I could feel the mana wafting off of her and snapping at the air with little statticky sparks.Francisco scoffed. “What do you take me for? An idiot?”“Yes,” Amaryllis said. “Though... perhaps not. I actually respect some of the idiots I know.”The harpy’s face went some interesting shades. “What do you wager, then?” he asked.“Um. Really? There are actual duels?” I asked.“Of course there are,” Amaryllis said. “It’s a simple way to demonstrate one’s superiority to weaklings like Francis here.”“To the death?” I asked.Amaryllis shrugged. “Not at a venue like this. I’m certain they have somewhere where we could humiliate Francis.”“It’s Francisco,” Francisco corrected again. “And I’m from the Hawk. We have a proud heritage of military service. Not that I would use even that as an excuse to beat the likes of you.”“You wouldn’t manage,” Amaryllis dismissed out of hand, “not even the four of you together could take me and Broccoli on.”“Very well,” Francisco said. “The four of us against the two of you.” He smiled smugly. “And we’ll fight over... Are you the member of the Albatross clan being sent on the expedition? Or do they not trust you that far?”Amaryllis grinned. “I’m going to Slyphfree,” she said.“Still as expendable as before, then,” he said.Judging by how pinched Amaryllis looked a moment before she schooled herself, that had stung. I patted her back and glared as hard as I could at Francisco.“How about this then. You lose, and your family doesn’t send anyone. We lose, and we’ll do the same.”Amaryllis’ smile was downright predatory. “You’re on,” she said.The Hawk harpy didn’t seem to expect that. The stakes were probably too high and the odds too poor for anyone to actually want to try... anyone that wasn’t a really ticked off Amaryllis, that was.“Very well. We’ll see you and your mongrel friend in the arena later.”And with that, Francisco and his friends were off.I watched them go for a bit before turning to Amaryllis. “Are you sure that was wise?” I asked.“No. But It’ll be worth it to wipe the smug look off of his face,” she said. “That guy’s been a jerk to me ever since he learned how to open his beak. That marriage contract just made him worse. I think I’m going to have fun wiping the floor with him.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-One — Once is Happenstance, Twice is Enemy Action
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-One — Once is Happenstance, Twice is Enemy Action Amaryllis and I got some looks as we swept around the second level balcony on a route aiming to the opposite side. Or maybe it was mostly me who was getting the looks because I was carrying a plate covered in one of every kind of snack they had set aside.“What’s this one called?” I asked as I raised one of the... were they called hors-d'œuvres?Amaryllis glanced my way, then rolled her eyes. “That’s just a bit of biscuit with some cold cuts,” she said. “I don’t doubt the chefs have a name for it, but I don’t think anyone would bother learning it.”“Well it’s yummy,” I said, plopping the whole thing in my mouth.Her reaction was to shake her head, but I caught that little bit of a smile she was trying to suppress. “You’re making a scene,” she said with a gesture all around us.I really wasn’t. There were some people looking our way, but the way they looked wasn’t the sort you’d get from making a scene, more like they were keeping an eye around them while trading gossip with their friends. There were circles around some loud people who were telling stories, often punctuated by tittering laughter, and some of the more fancy people had entire retinues of slightly less fancy people all around them.Really, other than the venue, species, food, and culture in general, it was just like a barbeque back home.“Do you want one?” I asked as I wiggled the plate around next to her. It earned me a flat look from the harpy, but she did relent and took a little sausage stuck on the end of a wooden skewer.“Rose and Awen are over there,” Amaryllis said with a nod to the far end of the room.“Should we go see them?” I asked. “I felt like this was more an event to, you know, mingle with new people that we haven’t met before. And not people like that Francisco guy. Nice ones.”“It may have flown past your head, being that you are incredibly dense, but I don’t exactly have an overwhelming number of friends here,” Amaryllis said.“Aww,” I said. “When isn’t this the best time to make new friends?” I moved to intercept her with a hug, but she was too cunning and mean and she ducked under my arm, moving to my other side so that I couldn't side-hug her without shifting my snack plate around.“Don’t start,” she said. “I’m certain you’ll find someone to annoy into becoming your friend. You can amaze them with your incredibly pedestrian skills.”“I’ll do my best,” I said.“Idiot,” she huffed. It was a happy huff though, so it was okay. “Rose seems to have found an old fiancee of her own to argue with.”I looked over to the far end of the room. Rosaline and Awen had found a quiet enough spot right next to the rails overlooking the dancefloor below. They were holding hands, which was very cute, but there was a young harpy man wiggling a talon right in front of Rosaline’s face and talking in a low growl that I couldn’t understand from where I was, but I could tell it wasn’t happy.“Maybe they need help?” I asked.And then the harpy took a goblet of wine and splashed it across Awen’s front before spinning on a heel and walking off.I gasped in time with Awen. Amaryllis’ reaction was a lot more visceral. “Go see Rose and Awen.”“What? What about you?”Amaryllis cracked her knuckles. “I’m going to see if the staff can dispose of corpses.”I yoinked Amaryllis back before she had time to stomp off. “Wait, wait, no killing the mean nobles,” I said. “Let’s both make sure our friends are safe first.”We arrived to find Rosaline sponging the wine off of Awen’s front while Awen ‘awawad.’ “That jerk,” Rosaline was muttering. “Coming over here and not taking ‘because you’re an idiot’ for an answer. Who does he think he is?”“Are you okay?” I asked as I stepped closer. The damage to Awen’s dress... was pretty bad. But I was sure I could clean it off in a jiffy. “Oh no,” I said as I tugged at some of the soggy red-stained cloth over Awen’s top. “I can clean this off.”Amaryllis placed a hand on my shoulder. “Do it in the washroom,” she said before turning back to Rosaline. “Did that come out of nowhere or did you provoke the idiot?”“Well, I wasn’t exactly friends with him, but that reaction was a bit much,” Rosaline said.Amaryllis nodded. “Yeah. Francisco was also being a bigger jerk than usual. I’m beginning to suspect some sort of conspiracy here.” She pointed off to one side. “Broccoli, want to bring Awen over to get cleaned? Rose and I will find Clem and compare notes. Food hasn’t even been served yet, World damn it.”“Uh, alright,” I said. Awen finally let go of Rosaline and stepped up next to me. “We’ll be back in a bit.”“Take your time,” Amaryllis said.I was a bit worried, but Amaryllis probably had things in talon, so I walked up next to Awen and we moved away from our friends. “Are you really okay?” I asked Awen.“Um. Things were really nice until that harpy showed up,” Awen said. She grew a faint little blush. “Really nice. We were just talking about ships and then he showed up and started being very rude. He called me an... uncouth word, and then Rosa started telling him off. It was very sudden.”“Huh,” I said. Maybe there really was a conspiracy going on? One targeting the Albatross girls? It could be a coincidence, of course, but Amaryllis didn’t think so. “Why do you think people would be mean to the Albatross?” I asked.“Awa... there could be lots of reasons, but, uh, it’s usually about either money or power,” Awen said. “Back home my parents worked hard to stay at the top, and to make sure that they had a finger in every business that was starting to grow big. Maybe the airship business is becoming that way?”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“You’d think they would have acted before,” I said.“There wasn’t a possibility of a war before. That will mean lots of ships, and lots of money and power to the people making those ships,” Awen said. “If the Albatross can decide who gets to captain them, then that’s even more power for them.”“That’s a dumb reason to embarrass people at a ball,” I said. “How will that help anyone?”Awen squirmed a bit. “It’s about appearances. For the Albatross to be able to function they probably need contracts and workers and all sorts of things to go right. If people think that they’re not trustworthy, or if they think that the family has a lot of, um, drama going on, then they’ll maybe reconsider working with them.”I scowled at the floor. “That’s silly,” I said.“It’s how it works,” Awen replied.We found a washroom at the back, an open room with a maid by the entrance who asked us if we needed assistance with anything, but I waved her off and said that we were alright.The inside of the washroom had a fountain and some benches next to banks of flowers in big pots. That was before reaching the sinks at the back or the little corridors leading off to what I assumed were the actual toilets. It was bigger than my home back on Earth.“Fancy,” I said.Awen shrugged. “Some ladies spend a lot of time here. It’s... quieter.”I didn’t ask if she was one of those ladies that ran off to hide during balls back in Mattergrove. “Let’s see about cleaning off that wine,” I said. “I can’t believe someone would try to ruin someone else’s dress like that.”I heard steps from deeper in the washroom but politely ignored them until someone cleared their throat. “Do you need any assistance with that?”Awen and I turned and both looked down at the same time as we faced a sylph. She was rather short, a full head and a bit shorter than me, with long black hair that had gone grey on the edges and big eyes that had the wrinkles that some people grew when they smiled a lot.“Hi!” I said. “And thanks for the offer, but I think I’ve got this one.” I pinched my tongue between my teeth and allowed a nice big glob of cleaning magic to form over my hand. A swipe down wiped the front of Awen’s dress clean of any wine. “See.”“Impressive,” the sylph lady said. “Most people don’t bother learning Cleaning magic, despite its utility.”“I learn it for fighting, really,” I said. “It’s handy in a lot of other ways too. You just need to be creative.”The woman blinked, then smiled a little. “I see. If you don’t mind me asking, what is a bun and a human doing at a harpy ball about visiting Sylphfree?”“Oh, we’re going to Sylphfree too,” I said. “We have our own ship and everything.”“Do you?” she asked.Awen nodded. “Yes. Um. Broccoli is our captain.”I blinked. We hadn’t actually decided that, but I wouldn’t say no to the title. “Yeah, sure. Awen here’s our mechanic. She’s real good.”“Interesting,” the lady said. “I’m being rather rude. My name is Evalyn Sunshrike, countess of Granite Springs.”“Neat,” I said. “I’m Broccoli Bunch, and this is one of my very best friends, Awen Bristlecone.”“Hello,” Awen said.“A pleasure,” Evalyn said. “Bristlecone, that’s from Mattergrove? And Bunch... I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the name, but I do believe most buns are from Cinderrun to the far west, so that’s little surprise.”“Oh, nah, I’m from Earth,” I said. “And I’m a human... was a human?” I gestured to my normal, non-bun ears. “See.”“Oh,” she said. “Even more interesting. A person that had a racial change and who’s the captain of her own ship at... you can’t be more than eighteen.”“Around there,” I agreed. “What about you? Why’re you at the ball?”Evalyn gave me a shrewd look. “Why, to see all the bickering and in-fighting of course. There’s not nearly as much of that back home, so I take what pleasure from the drama that I can.”“Really?” I asked. “Oh, can you tell us about the sylphs? We’ll be going there soon and it’d be really neat if we didn’t stick out like people who didn’t know anything.”Evalyn made a noise at the back of her throat that I suspected was laughter. “I’m afraid there’s little chance of that. But I can certainly give you a few pointers. What do you know about the sylph and our culture?”“Nothing at all,” I said.“And yet you’re going to fly over to us soon?”“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, we’re being all subtle and political about it,” I said.“Awa, maybe we shouldn’t have said that,” Awen pointed out.“Oops?”The sylph made that laughing noise again. “You two are quite charming, I’ve no doubt that my countrymen would absolutely hate dealing with you.”“Huh?”She nodded. “Oh yes. As much as I love my nation it’s rather... mired in bureaucracy. Anything that doesn’t fit into its own neat little box tends to get on the nerves of some of my fellows. I think that if you do want to visit, you should try playing up the fact that you’re clueless foreigners.” Evalyn’s smile was almost predatory. “That way you can catch them off guard.”“Oh, that’s a great idea. I’m really good at looking like I’m clueless,” I said.Evalyn actually laughed out loud at that. “If you girls are done here, would you like to meet some of my comrades? Maybe they’ll be able to help you on your trip over to Sylphfree.”I nodded. “I think that would be really nice,” I said.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two — Peace Through Overwhelming Friendpower
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two — Peace Through Overwhelming Friendpower Evalyn led us out of the washrooms with a sweep of her long robes and a flutter of her wings. “This way,” she said. “I’m certain that some of my comrades at least will be welcoming, more so than some harpies, I’m sure.”“That sounds nice,” I said as I skipped along. “So, what’s it like having wings?” I asked.She glanced over her shoulder at me, then down to her wings. “I never gave it too much thought. We’re born with them, you see. Most of us are flying about before we’re even a year old.”“I guess you wouldn’t really think about it, then,” I said. “I hope that my next class evolution gives me wings. It would be super neat.”Evalyn made her laughing noise and nodded. “I’m certain that you’d enjoy the freedom of flight. It’s one of the greatest things about being a Sylph. We rule the airs, and have for a very long time.”I was pretty sure someone like Amaryllis would have something to say about that.She brought us up a floor onto the topmost balcony, then moved towards a shadowy corner that was even darker than that table where I'd gotten my food. At this point you probably would stumble into a chair. It was also behind a few awkwardly placed pillars. “Do sylphs have good night vision?” I asked.“No more than humans or buns,” Evalyn said.“Then why are your tables all in the dark?”“Petty harpy politics?” Evalyn wondered aloud. “Or maybe they just want to keep us out of sight and mind as they bask in their own glory?” She didn’t sound all that happy there.“Well, that’s just rude,” I said.She nodded. “I won’t disagree.”The tables in the back all had a few sylph sitting or standing around them. There seemed to be an order to them. The more decorations they had on their chest, the more likely it was that they were sitting down with a few less-decorated sylph standing behind them.Those who weren’t in uniform likewise had those standing behind them, but the difference there was made more obvious by the appearance of their dress. The prettier the outfit, the higher the station, I guessed.“Do the sylph have a, uh, caste system?” I asked.“Hm? No. We pride ourselves on being a meritocracy. Though I’ll admit that even with actions taken to subdue nepotism, it’s still something that appears quite frequently,” Evalyn said. “I wasn’t born a countess. My father was merely a soldier at the start of his career, and I began as a lesser diplomat a... rather long time ago, let’s say.”“Neat,” I said.“Come, we can skip the business people. As useful as they might be, they’ll only bore you with numbers.” We crossed the first few rows of sylphs and headed towards the middle tables. They were occupied by some of the best dressed and most medal-festooned sylphs around.There were three groups occupying the centremost table. A male sylph in a well-tailored suit with two guards behind him, a woman in black plate armour over what I suspected was leather (who also had a pair of equally-armoured sylph behind her), and a sylph that looked like he was dressed like a military dictator out of a satire. That last one had to be a noble.“You’re back, Lady Sunshrike,” the noble in the bunch asked.“Lord Winterfall,” she replied with a gracious nod. “I am. And I found some interesting companions while I was away. It seems as if our kind hosts might have extended them the same courtesy they gave us.”“Ah,” I said. “It wasn’t that bad. Just a bit of a slip-up with some wine,” I said before grinning to the table. “Hi!”“Awa, hello,” Awen said before she dipped into a curtsy.“Always saving innocents, huh Evalyn?” the military guy said.“I wouldn’t call this saving innocents,” Evalyn said. “More like making interesting new friends. Captain Bunch here, and her companion Miss Bristlecone, are both taking their airship to visit our fine nation soon.”“Oh?” the military man asked. “Now that’ll be interesting.” He turned towards us fully and I had the impression he was eyeing me up and down. “Are you part of the diplomatic mission?” he asked.“Not quite,” I said. “We just figured that mission wouldn’t work out so we might as well try to stop any war ourselves.”The man blinked twice, then roared with laughter. “How proactive! I love it. I’m Commodore Autumngale. I’m in charge of making sure all these fine diplomats make it out of this harpy-infested hillside and back home in one piece.”“Neat!” I said. “That sounds like a great job. Also, your rank sounds cool.”“Why thank you,” he said. “I have the impression that you have no idea what it means.”“Not even the slightest clue,” I said with a bright smile.He laughed some more at that, then turned to the armoured lady next to him. “She’s an interesting one, isn’t she Storm?”“She is,” the woman said. Her voice was a croaking whisper, like she was forcing the words out. I glanced her way and took in the scars running across her throat for just a moment before snapping my attention away. I didn’t want to make her feel bad by staring. “How do you intend to make it to Sylphfree, Captain Bunch?” she asked.“By flying?” I asked.She smiled a little as she shook her head. “Getting there is, perhaps, easy. Making it past the patrols without the proper forms and registrations, on the other hand, might prove a little complicated.”“I guess just showing up to the port and saying that we’re there to stop a war from maybe happening isn’t going to work?”Storm sighed. “I’m afraid not. There is already much debate over whether there is even a hint of warmongering in the future, though the cervid are always rearing for it. We’ve grown used to peace, and I think we would all rather keep things as they are.”The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.“So I’d need some sort of permit to land?” I asked. I was willing to bet that Clementine had already figured that one out. “Where can I get one?”The Storm woman tapped her chin, then looked over her shoulder to the younger of the two armoured sylphs standing there. “Bastion, you mentioned having to return to Sylphfree a little bit sooner than the main expedition?”The sylph, Bastion, stood taller, his armour clunking a bit with the motion. He was a pretty tall sylph, which meant that he came up to my nose when standing ramrod straight, and his armour, all black and rather on the spiky side, was shiny and new looking. Either it really was new, or he took a lot of care with it. “Yes, Inquisitor Storm,” he said. “I was charged to bring back some important parcels to the homeland.”“Well there you go,” Storm said. “Captain Bunch, were you planning on leaving earlier than the main expedition?”“Uh,” I said. “Not really, but the Beaver’s pretty much ready except for a few things. He’s getting retrofitted right now. Awen?”“Awa... I think we could leave soon enough, yes,” she said.“Would it be possible for you to rent a room to a couple inquisitors?” Storm asked.I looked over to Awen who shrugged at me. I figured that meant the decision was mine. “Uh, we do have some extra rooms on the Beaver. Do sylphs have a special diet or anything? Or can we just bring whatever food we would bring normally?”Evalyn made her laughing noise again. “We’ll eat anything a human will,” she said. “Or most of us will; there’s no accounting for taste.”“I assure you, Captain Bunch,” Bastion said as he stepped around the table. “That I am not a picky eater. And I can assist your crew if I happen to be taking someone else’s berth.”“Well, in that case, I guess you’re welcome aboard,” I said. I grinned at the whole table. I didn’t doubt that they had their own ulterior motives, but that was okay. If I could help them while they helped me a little, then that was totally alright. It was a great way to start a friendship.“I look forward to flying with you,” Bastion said as he extended a hand to me.I took his hand and shook. “Me too-” I began.Bastion’s eyes went wide and his genial, polite look faded into shock for a moment before he tore his hand back, reached for his belt, and pulled out a knife.I was caught entirely flat-footed as the sylph stepped up into my guard and placed the edge of the knife against my throat in a motion so smooth and fast it looked straight out of a movie.“What?” I asked. The word alone was enough to make the cold steel tickly my throat.“Who are you?” Bastion asked.By then, Storm and Commodore Autumngale were on their feet. “Bastion!” Storm rasped. “Explain.”“She... this woman has committed more crimes than the worst scoundrel I have ever met,” he said. “Her record is as black as pitch.”“Please back away from Broccoli,” Awen asked. She looked like she was torn between staring at Bastion and his knife and looking for one of her own on the tables around us.We were gathering a fair bit of attention from them. “Um, Mister Bastion,” I said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”Evalyn slowly, carefully, brought her arm up between us and placed it on Bastion’s hand. “Sir Bastion,” she said. “Miss Bunch isn’t of or in our nation. I’m afraid that she isn’t beholden to our laws.”Bastion’s face contorted. “I understand, Lady Sunshrike, but her crimes... they, they’re awful.”“Uh,” I said. “Can anyone explain?”Lord Winterfell shifted in his seat. He, of all those at or around the table, looked the least uncomfortable. “I think I can enlighten you, captain. It’s rather simple: The Royal Order of Paladins of the World has a rather unique ability to tell, by touch, whether a person is guilty of a crime. Not the exact crime, mind you, but the level of... I suppose criminality they have committed. It is one of the ways we keep things nice and tidy back home.”“But, but I haven’t done anything wrong,” I said. “At least, I don’t think.”“The interpretation of what is or isn’t a crime is based on the paladin’s understanding of the laws. Most are quite well educated and could recite entire law books from rote,” he said.“Um,” Awen said. “Maybe Broccoli did something that’s okay here but not in Sylphfree?” she asked.“Oh, like that time I kidnapped you?”Now I was getting looks again.“Captain Bunch,” Inquisitor Storm asked. “Would you mind if I touched you? I’m certain that Sir Bastion’s interpretation of the law is accurate, but perhaps I can lend a bit more nuance to the situation.”“Sure?” I said as I extended a hand towards the woman.The sylph, who as it turns out was probably the smallest member of the race I’d yet seen, took my hand in hers and frowned off into the air. She hissed between her teeth and locked gazes with me. “You... don’t make sense.”“Uh.”“Your criminality is... impossibly high. It’s as if you went around breaking dungeon cores while on dragon-back. But your morality score is exceptionally high as well. On the latter alone you would be considered a paragon of good citizenship.”I shrugged. “Okay? I can probably explain most of the, uh, laws I broke? Maybe?”“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I think we’d all really appreciate an explanation.”Then, because the world clearly had it in for me, that was when the Albatross sisters arrived.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Three — Just Remember: Everything is Illegal
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Three — Just Remember: Everything is Illegal Amaryllis stepped up before her sisters and raised an arm as if to silence them and everyone else. She looked around, taking in all the Sylph nobles and inquisitors and military people, then she turned towards me. “What did you do?” she asked.I took a moment to respond. “I didn’t do anything?” I hazarded.“That’s highly unlikely. When I left you, you were helping Awen clean out her dress because some jerk acted like a jerk. Now I find you here, surrounded by some of the most important sylph diplomats around, and some of them are bearing steel.”A glance over my shoulder showed that Bastion still had his sword by his side. “I really didn’t do anything?” I tried. “Um. I was talking about our trip over to Sylphfree later, and the Commodore and Miss Sunshrike and Miss Storm suggested that we take Bastion along with us.” I gestured to the sylph boy behind me.“So they want you to carry a spy over to Sylphfree in order to... what, make sure you’re not a spy yourself?” she asked.Evalyn bristled at that. “A Paladin is hardly something so crass as a spy,” she said.Amaryllis snorted. “If it quacks like a duck and flaps like a duck, then it’s probably a sylph spy in disguise,” she said. “But... it’s not an entirely terrible idea. Broccoli really doesn’t have anything to hide, least of all on the Beaver.”The sylphs really didn’t look fond of Amaryllis, but they were also giving me suspicious looks. “Um, ah,” I went on. “Everything was fine until Mister Bastion shook my hand. Then he accused me of being a criminal.”“Oh, for the love of the World,” Amaryllis said with a huge eye roll. “Of course he did.” She glared at Bastion and then Miss Storm. “You two are aware that sylph law doesn’t apply outside of sylph territories, right? I don’t know what ‘crime’ you think she committed, but I can assure you it’s likely something that anyone from a civilised country would overlook.”“Are you implying that Sylphfree isn’t civilised?” Evalyn asked.“That was the implication, yes,” Amaryllis said.Bastion shook his head. “We’re aware that our laws, blessed as they may be, do not apply elsewhere. Were she merely... paying a dragon’s tax for the right to fly, then while that would be unlawful over sylph skies, we’d overlook it. But the level of criminality she has, even after Inquisitor Storm has verified it... what have you done, Captain Bunch?”“Uh,” I said. I tried to think back to anything that I’d done that was criminal. “Well, I kidnapped Awen here. But that was for a good cause. And... Amaryllis, did we do anything else that was criminal?”Amaryllis sighed. “You fought those cervid mercenaries sneaking across the Deepmarsh border. I’m certain that violates some laws. You also participated in a non-sylph sanctioned tournament, which is also against their laws.”“But it was in Rosenbell?”“That doesn’t matter to them,” she said. “And you consorted with dragons.”The sylph all pulled away from me. “Please explain, Lady... Albatross,” Inquisitor Storm asked.“The town of Rosenbell was going to be attacked by a dragon. Broccoli here intimidated it. It didn’t attack the town,” Amaryllis said.The sylph were pretty expressive at times, they had a very strong confused face.“It’s okay? I helped try and reform Rhawrexdee a little. He’s much nicer now? Or, uh, at least less likely to try and eat people?”“Awa, you took out the, um, underworld in Port Royal,” Awen said.I shook my head. “That was a group effort.”“You’re not a sanctioned law enforcement officer,” Bastion said. “By what right did you take apart this underworld?”“Uh. They weren’t a sanctioned criminal organization?” I let out a big sigh. “Look, I’m sorry I did a bunch of things you guys think are crimes, but I promise I was only ever doing what I thought was right at the time.”Evalyn and Miss Storm looked at each other, but it was Lord Winterfall that spoke first. “I think,” he began. “That the rather obvious solution is very simple. Seeing as we have no rights here, we can hardly detain Captain Bunch. Nor would I approve of it if we could. If and when the good Captain comes to Slyphfree, we can keep an eye on her until she leaves, as we would do to any foreigner. And if the Captain wants to extend a helping hand and allow Paladin Bastion to use her services regardless, then he can at least verify that she does nothing suspicious between here and our fair lands.”Amaryllis looked to her sisters and received a shrug from Rosaline and a small nod from Clementine. “We’ll see,” she said. “Goodness knows now of all times we should be trying to reconcile our two nations.”“But you were mean a minute ago,” I said.“Don’t be an idiot,” she said. “I wasn’t being mean, I was mocking their inadequacies as a nation.”“Amaryllis!” I said.“Are you well acquainted with miss Albatross?” Evalyn asked.“Of course, she’s one of my best friends,” I said.“I see... then perhaps you should rejoin your friends? We can continue our chat some other day, when tensions aren’t running so high. And you should be enjoying the ball, this kind of thing is perfect for a young thing like you.”I smiled at her. It was a tiny bit of a sad smile. The tension and the whole thing with the crimes was a bit of a downer. “Okay,” I said. I stepped up to the little sylph lady and swept her up in a tight hug. The other sylph all went wide-eyed at that. “I’ll talk to you again!” I said before moving over to Awen and sliding an arm up around hers.Amaryllis nodded to the sylph as she spun around and led the charge back towards the stairs leading down.Rosaline slowed down so that she was on Awen’s other side. “You know, I’m going to get jealous if you spend the evening hanging off another girl’s arm,” she said to Awen.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“Ah, awa?”“It’s okay,” I said. “Awen has two arms.”“Oh, how daring!” Rosaline said before she grabbed onto Awen’s other side and pressed up against her.I giggled at Awen’s steaming face. It was nice to be with friends who could help me release some tension. Still, I had some questions.“Amaryllis? What was all that back there?”She huffed. “That was the sylph being themselves. Their nation is very law-minded. They have rules for everything, and the idea that someone can be free from that kind of thing just rubs them wrong.”“They seemed nice,” I said.“Oh, sure, they’re civilised when they want to be. They have some of the best medical facilities on Dirt and I hear that their cities are impeccably clean and orderly. But they’re super uptight about everything and have problems when it comes to anything that isn’t traditional.”“Hmm.” I scratched at my cheeks as I thought. “What about the focus on dragons?”She barked a laugh. “They hate dragons. Most other races have some issues with them, of course, but dragons are the apex predator and we all understand that. The sylph though? They can’t wrap their minds around it.”“It’s worse than that,” Clementine said. Her first words in a while. “The sylph have control over some of the largest gold deposits on Dirt. It’s one of the sources of their immense wealth. Dragons, as you likely well know, are rather fond of gold and wealth.”“Oh no,” I said.“Indeed. They’ve been invaded... four times? Five since they started mining the gold they have. Some of those were smaller, juvenile dragons that they were able to kill or scare off, but they’ve had elder dragons show up in the past too. It’s why they have such a strong military presence, that and the golden peak.”“What’s that?” I asked.She looked at me for a moment before nodding. “I forget that you’re not from around these parts. The Golden Peak is a mountain. It’s part of the Harpy Mountain chain. The topmost part of the mountain has, as you can guess from the name, a lot of gold. The harpy claimed it first, but the sylph stole the land.”“They did?” I asked.“We, of course, reclaimed it later, only to be pushed back again,” Clementine said. “Then a dragon settled on the mountain for a few decades before a joint harpy-sylph force killed it. A year later the war was restarted.”“Um, who has the mountain now?” I asked.“No one. The base of the mountain has forts belonging to both nations. Sometimes a scout will mysteriously disappear from one side or another, or something will get sabotaged in a fort, but it’s been pretty quiet for the last twenty or so years.”I frowned. “Wait, when did this war start?”“Over the Golden Peak? Some three hundred years ago? Two? It’s not quite one war. For the most part, it’s been a series of skirmishes between the sylph and harpy, with a new incident every generation.”“That’s awful,” I said.“What’s awful,” Amaryllis said. “Is arriving at our table late and making a scene.” She flapped an arm across the second balcony and towards an empty table way off in the corner.I looked around, noting for the first time the number of people around. While there had been a few harpies around before, mostly in little pockets and groups, now the entire floor was full of people, all in pretty dresses. Most of them were obviously making their way to some tables, and quite a few were sitting already.“Looks like people are looking forward to the speeches. I hope they’re fun.”All three Albatross sisters groaned.“No, no they won’t be,” Amaryllis said. “When we were trekking in the woods and prairies alone, with nothing for company but ourselves and a constant fear of being devoured, and when the only thing we had to look forward to was sleeping on the cold hard ground, I just had to tell myself that at least I wasn’t listening to a speech put on by some old bird.”“Amy,” Clementine hissed before looking around to see if anyone heard. “You might be right, but it’s not the kind of thing you just say.”I giggled at their antics until we got to the table at the far corner. It had little plaques before each seat with our names written in fancy calligraphy. Rosaline moved two of them so that she was sitting next to Awen, which prompted Amaryllis to shift two more so that I was between her and Clementine.Once they’d finished bickering over where who sat down, we plopped ourselves in our new places. “So, did you discover any sort of conspiracy?” I asked.Clementine’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. “We did. The Owl clan is trying to pull in a much bigger contract than expected. It would mean that the military would buy all of their tug ships and supply craft from them instead of us.”“That’s not good,” I said.“It wouldn’t be that bad,” Rosaline said as she leaned forward, and a bit over Awen, to talk. “We can barely meet demand as it is. Getting them to make a few ships would alleviate some of the stress on the yards. The problem is that they’re refusing to switch over to our engines, which means that every new ship they make will be an outdated mess.”“More repair time, and costs, more downtime, higher fuel costs. And less reliability. That would all fall on the Owl’s back, but they’re being clever,” Clementine said.“How so?”“As it stands, we’re probably going to win the bid to maintain all military ships for the foreseeable future. If the Owl push out an entire fleet that will need constant repair and retrofitting, at our expense... it’ll bog everything down. Our berths will be filled with their junkheap ships and we’ll be the ones holding the eggshells.”“Ah,” I said. Further questions were put off as a big harpy man standing atop a floating platform cleared his throat into a microphone, and the band playing down below slowed to a stop.It was time for the boring speeches.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Four — It's a Good Day to Dine
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Four — It's a Good Day to Dine The boring speech was boring.I had heard some boring speeches before, of course. My dad was big on talk shows, and complaining about politics, which meant that he liked listening to politicians say stuff so that he could later complain about it.I had never been to one of those speeches live though. Two minutes into the important harpy on the floating stage telling us all about the many, many people that needed thanking for the event and my eyes were going blurry. When five minutes passed and he was still droning on about vague stuff like the generosity of such and such an organization or group, I felt my head getting heavy.Rosaline had the right idea when she scooted her chair close to Awen’s and leaned her head onto Awen’s shoulder for a quick nap.I wanted to do the same, but Awen looked about ready to collapse under Rosaline’s weight alone, and Amaryllis gave me a warning look when I stared at her shoulder.I ended up settling for laying my head down next to my empty plate and allowed my ears to bend forwards and over my eyes. If they couldn't see those, they couldn’t tell if I was sleeping!I woke up with a start sometime later and wiped the drool from the corner of my lips. “I’done?” I asked.“It is,” Amaryllis confirmed. “The food’s coming. Do you want to Clean it for us?”I blinked the grogginess away then looked around to see a small army of maids and serving men moving about with plates hovering by their shoulders. “Food!” I gave a small chher.“Indeed,” Amaryllis said. “Do rein in your enthusiasm. I don’t think anyone wants to see what you call dancing while you’re bloated from overeating.”“Right,” I said. “What was that about Cleaning?”“I want you to use your Cleaning magic on our meals,” Amaryllis said.I blinked at her. “I do plan on eating it, you know.”“Obviously,” she said. “Don’t clean the plates, Clean the food. Clear it of any poisons.”“Uh,” I said. “You think the food will be poisoned?”“Of course not,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t think it, I suspect it.”“That’s the same thing,” I pointed out.She huffed a ‘that’s semantics’ huff at me. “Most nobles used to have testers and servants who could detect poisons, or indeed clean it away with them,” she said. “But that became a sign that a harpy didn’t trust the clan they were visiting.”“So... you don’t trust the people here?”“Not as far as I could throw them,” Amaryllis said.“I’m sure you could throw them fairly far. You’re pretty strong.”She huffed again.The food arrives at our table. A big savoury looking leg of... some animal. Lamb, maybe? With a whole heap of vegetables around it drizzled in a brownish sauce that was still steaming hot. Then they set down more plates before each of us, small salads and little plates of cut vegetables with various sauces.It looked like a proper feast, though I did notice some strange things. No bird meat, which... that was fair. Also, no cheeses or milk products. Then again, they lived in the mountains and cows took space. There was also a bottle of wine that Clementine poured into everyone’s cups, but I chose not to touch that. I was still too young for drinking.Clementine looked my way, and even Rosaline, who was awake though she elected to stay cuddled up to Awen, was staring.“Right!” I said.I spread my hands as a wizard would (I imagine) and cast a wave of nearly invisible Cleaning magic over everything.Other than wiping a bit of sauce off the sides of some plates, it didn’t seem to do much.“Well then, dig in, I suppose,” Clementine said.She didn’t have to tell me twice!I sampled a bit of everything, even taking a nibble from the meat to see if it tasted good despite my bun-ness, and while it was alright, I didn’t want to risk a tummy ache later, so I set it aside for a moment while I chowed down on everything else.“The dancing will be starting soon,” Rosaline said. “You can tell because of the band.”I perked an ear up to listen, twisting it this way and that to best catch the fleeting notes of a violin. “It’s just the one player?” I asked.She nodded. “That’s right. That means that after this song they’ll be starting the pre-opening waltz. It’s a sort of... practice piece? Just to make sure all the members of the orchestra are ready. Some people who finish early will dance a bit to that, but the real opening comes right after.”I nodded along. “And after the dancing, what happens? Do we duel that Francisco guy?”Amaryllis nodded. “There’s usually a lot of onlookers for the first dance. Then the ball splits and people go around talking to whomever they want, participate in a few friendly duels, or dance until their legs give out.”“The party ends when half the guests are gone or too drunk to continue,” Clementine said.“That doesn’t sound all that nice a way to end a ball,” I said.“It’s tradition!” Rosaline cheered before chomping into a hefty chunk of meat.We were barely finished with our first plates when a second round came, this time with a lot more bread and pastries and different tiny portions of fish. I cleaned them all again and started on the fish. It tasted way better than any fish I’d had back home. The spicy sauces left my lips just a bit tingly and the savoury ones made the fish melt in my mouth.The breads were very plain, not sweet like the bread I was used to, but that made it great for soaking off the leftovers on our plates.I was almost full to bursting by the time the dessert came around.It was only with great reluctance that I didn’t finish the slice of cake before me.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.“I’m stuffed,” I declared.“Idiot,” was Amaryllis’ immediate reprisal. She didn’t look much better though. She was one colour change away from looking like a stuffed turkey.We sat in contented, food-coma induced silence for a few minutes while the music below shifted and the entire orchestra joined in on a slow ballad-like song. It was the orchestral equivalent of elevator music, with no inspiring high notes and few melodramatic lows.Rosaline was the first to really move. “We should burn off some of this food,” she said. “Do you feel like dancing, Awen?”“Um. I wouldn’t mind that,” Awen said as she stood up herself. She finished off the last of her goblet of wine and set it back down before smiling shyly at Rosaline. “Ready when you are.”“We should go too,” I told Amaryllis. “I suppose you’ll want to dance with me?”“Are you saying I couldn’t find someone else to dance with?” she said as she got up.I shook my head. “Of course not. I’m sure there are plenty of eligible bachelors who think that you’re really cute and would love to dance with you. They’d be all noble and prince-like, and talk about how great their clans are, and how you could be a stay-at-home mom...”Amaryllis grabbed my hand and started moving towards the dancefloor, her stomping steps in time with my laughter.I almost felt bad for leaving Clementine behind, but she soon stood up and joined a crowd of older harpies to start talking with them. She didn’t seem all that keen on dancing.The band ended their slow practice song and let everyone join up in twos in the centre of the dance floor. There were so many people that navigating around to find a spot to stand in meant slipping past poofy half-skirts and puffed out wings.The band started playing a waltz, and Amaryllis and I started to step and spin in time with the music.We spun and strutted, and Amaryllis tilted her nose up and started to flap her wings about in her not-quite-chicken dance. I giggled at her motions but followed suit.The ball had been a bit stuffy so far, but the harpies and the few others on the dance floor didn’t seem to care much for that. Sure, they were dancing very formally, but I saw lovers holding each other so close that it was almost inappropriate and friends laughing and giggling along.We ended up next to a pair of young men who strutted quite fancily next to us, clearly trying to get our attention, and succeeding when they both tried to dance the ‘male’ part of the dance at the same time and ended up bumping foreheads.Amaryllis and I just switched back and forth, with increasingly silly and fanciful flourishes to one-up each other.Some time later, maybe only a few minutes, or maybe more, we stepped off the floor, both a little sweaty and warm, but glowing with barely suppressed giddiness.“I need a drink,” I said.“I saw you avoiding the wine earlier,” Amaryllis said. “Want something stiffer?”“Uh, no, I want water. Maybe juice?”She shook her head. “I’m sure they have some around the children’s tables.”“Perfect!” I said.Amaryllis laughed. “You idiot,” she said. “Maybe after you’ve gotten drunk on peach and apple juice, we can find Francisco and his flunkies. I’d rather get that over with.”“Sure!” I said before pulling her along towards the back. “By the way, are there rules to the duel?”“No killing, nothing too extreme. Anything else will be outlined by whomever is the arbiter.”“Alright!” I said.We found a section off to one side of the first floor where the tables were smaller and hidden behind a half-wall. The harpies there were all much smaller and tucked away in cute little dresses and suits that made them look adorably serious, especially with their poofy down feathers sticking out every which way.I found a big punch bowl of juice and quenched my thirst while Amaryllis sipped from a flute she’d grabbed along the way.We were on our way to the back of the ballroom, and towards the spot where duels and other such stuff were taking place-sensibly, it was all done outside and out of the way-when our path was blocked by a familiar face.“Captain Bunch,” Bastion said.I looked the sylph up and down before responding. “Mister Bastion,” I said.“I was wondering if... perhaps we could dance? Just for a moment.”“And accuse her of more nonsense?” Amaryllis asked with some bite.I placed a hand on her shoulder. “Mister Bastion, I would love to be your friend, but you were a bit... mean, earlier. It’s kind of strange that you want to dance now.”Bastion ColdfrontDesired Quality: Someone with whom to fight for what is right.Dream: To become a paladin renowned across Dirt“I... merely wish to reconcile our differences,” he said. “If we are to work together, then being anything less than cordial would be a detriment to our teamwork.”I nodded along. “Alright,” I said. “That sounds nice. You don’t mind, do you Amaryllis?”“I’ll be here,” she said, “keeping an eye on you two.” The way she stared at Bastion suggested that ‘you two’ meant him.Bastion reached out a hand to guide me to the dancefloor, and I carefully took it, ignoring the way he flinched a little at the contact.“So, Captain Bunch,” he said as we began to dance along to a slower, more romantic piece of music. “How long have you captained your ship?”It was a bit strange dancing with someone so much shorter than me, but not too bad. “Oh, a day or two,” I said.Bastion missed his next step.I was holding back a giggle when I heard a cry from above.We both looked up, and at that moment, the ballroom exploded.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Five — Panic at the Ball
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Five — Panic at the Ball Bastion threw me to the ground.My breath left with a whoosh, cutting off any protests I had to the rough treatment. And then the sylph jumped up onto me and covered my torso and head with his body just as bits of masonry and wood started to rain down around us.The noise wasn’t as loud as I would have expected, more of a muffled thump followed by a heavy shift from the ground under me, as if it had dropped down half a foot.Harpies all around us squawked and screamed, and the band's music ground to a discordant halt amidst the shattering of plates and glass.The moment the worst of it was done, the crowds across the dance floor started to shift and move, rushing towards the exits. Some had gashes and cuts from the stuff falling from above.“Are you well?” Bastion asked.I nodded and pushed him off me so that I could breathe. “What happened?” I called back.He looked up again. I could see the horror in his gaze as he took in the location of the explosion.The third floor, where the Sylphfree delegation was sitting. “I need to get up there!” he said.I nodded and jumped to my feet before scooping him up. For all that he was pretty well muscled, and wearing armour, he was still a very lithe man, and short at that. It was no harder to pick him up than picking up a kid.My legs bunched up under me while he started to protest, and then we shot up and towards the third floor.I was worried for my friends, but they had all been below, near the dance floor, and they had each other. Rosaline and Awen would look after each other, and I didn’t doubt that Amaryllis would find Clementine and make sure she was okay.All those worries faded back as my jump carried me and Bastion into a thick cloud of white-ish smoke that obscured everything.I pushed some mana into my cleaning magic aura and the smoke receded away from us with a wave just as I landed.“Thank you,” Bastion said as he regained his feet. The paladin didn’t wait so much as a second before rushing towards the back of the room.The smoke was thicker there, so I followed close after him.We only made it halfway to the back before Bastion paused.It didn’t take much to see why. There was someone on the ground. A familiar sylph face, with unseeing eyes looking towards the ceiling.Bastion paused and fell to one knee next to Countess Evalyn. He closed her eyes while I watched. I... I didn’t know how to act, what to do.“Captain?”I’d seen dead people before. In funeral homes and in movies, but those had always been at a distance, far away and...“Captain Bunch!”I snapped around towards Bastion who was looking at me. “Can you clear the air some more?”I nodded. The dead could wait for the living. There could be others who were hurt.A bit of concentration later and I pushed a good three-quarters of my mana into a burst of Cleaning that pushed out of me like an expanding bubble. The dust on the ground faded away, the smoke cleared, and soon we could take in the scene in full.It wasn’t nice.There were sylphs tossed about all over and more than one was obviously injured.Inquisitor Storm stumbled our way, somehow still graceful despite being quite bloody and disheveled. “Bastion! That one!” She pointed.Bastion and I both turned towards the far end of the balcony where a dark-feathered harpy was running towards one of the little exits meant for the serving staff.“After him!” Bastion cried.I didn’t need to be told twice and kept after the paladin to charge across the dining area after the suspect.The door was slammed shut before us, but Bastion removed his sword from his side with a flourish. He spun while still running, and sliced up. The door burst apart into heavy wooden chunks.The harpy was in the middle of a long corridor, shoving a pair of maids aside so that all the plates and platters they were holding crashed to the ground.“Halt!” Bastion roared as he shot ahead. His wings beat at the air, giving him more of a lead.I started to bounce after them, wishing I had my spade.On the way past the maids, I grabbed a platter. It was a big thing, made of silver with about as much heft to it as a plate and with rounded edges. It wasn’t the perfect weapon, but it would do.The harpy got to the end of the corridor and turned.By the time we rounded the bend, he had disappeared around a fork. “Left or right?” I asked.“World dammit,” Bastion swore. “Go left!” he said before he darted to the right.I shot towards the left and down another passageway. There was a door at its end, left ajar and leading into a much fancier part of the building with large windows and nice vases on pedestals.The harpy was there, running down the end and towards a large set of French doors leading to a balcony.“Stop!” I shouted as I pushed some stamina to my legs and rushed forwards.The harpy shoved a no doubt expensive vase down behind him, letting it smash against the ground and filling my path with porcelain caltrops.I hopped over them and swung the silver platter forwards like a frisbee.It scraped against the floor, skipping once before sliding under the harpy’s taloned foot.He went sprawling forwards, into and through the glass doorway with a crash and a roll, but he was spry and ended his roll by jumping to his feet.That was just in time for me to arrive on the balcony too. “It’s over!” I said.He looked up to me, surprise registering on his features before he brought an arm up and swung it my way.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.A heavy gust of wind came out of nowhere and slammed into my chest, sending my right back and almost into the corridor. It was only grabbing onto the door frame that stopped me from being swung all the way back.“You surprised me there, Miss Bunch,” he said.I knew that voice.It had been a long time since I heard it. Maybe a week or two, but I still knew it. “Mister Rainnewt?” I asked.The harpy grinned. “Of course not,” he said. Reaching into the back of his servant’s jacket, he pulled out a small knife. “I do apologize,” he said as he started to walk towards me.And then thunder came roaring out from the clear sky.Rainnewt screamed as a jolt of lightning hit his side and made him writhe.I looked off to my left, and through the lightning blindness, I could make out Amaryllis on a balcony one floor down.I gathered mana into my hand and stamina in my legs. I wasn’t going to be caught flatfooted.But before I could do anything, Rainnewt's body transformed before my eyes. One moment he was a harpy, the next a dark-haired sylph in the centre of a growing windstorm. “Well played,” he said before flinging off his too-small jacket to reveal wings that spread wide. “The world won’t thank you for that sacrifice,” he said before jumping backward.He darted just out of the path from another bolt of lightning.The winds were carrying him up and away when I formed a set of nine fireballs and let them loose.Rainnewt merely flew around them, then dipped down and over the fence between the mansion we were in, and the next.I got ready to jump after him, but the wind turned ugly and I found myself with an arm raised to cover my face as it whipped around.What had happened?I stood panting as Bastion barged onto the balcony and looked around. “Did you see him?” he asked.I nodded, then pointed off in the direction he went. “He left that way,” I said. “He can shapeshift, and control the wind.”Bastion paused. “Shapeshift?”“He turned into a sylph, then said something about the world and flew off.”Amaryllis was the next to burst through the doors. She looked miffed. Not angry, just annoyed. Probably because her spells hadn’t taken Rainnewt out. “Did that bastard turn into a sylph?” she asked. “Or was that an illusion?”“I don’t know,” I said. “I... didn’t you say that illusion magic isn’t that good?”“Not usually,” she said. “But most people who dabble in it are assassins and the like, so who knows what kind of skills they have?”I swallowed, the image of Evalyn still fresh. “Oh, yeah, I guess.”Bastion hissed and turned back towards the exit. “Thank you, Captain, Lady Albatross, your aid won’t be forgotten,” he said, before stomping off.Amaryllis watched him go, then allowed herself to slump a little. “You see anything about the assassin?”“It was Rainnewt,” I said. “The voice...and he recognized me.”She blinked. “Huh. Well, that’s unexpected.”“The others?” I asked.“Fine. I was coming back from finding Clementine when I heard glass breaking. I figured it was worth investigating.”“Thanks,” I said.“No problem. Now come on, I’m certain we’ll have plenty of curious stickybeaks asking all sorts of questions before the night is out. Maybe this ball is more amusing than I first thought.”“People died,” I said.Amaryllis winced. “Ah. I didn’t know.” She sighed. “Well, that makes it an absolute mess, doesn’t it?”I nodded. “Yeah. We... uh, I guess we should go see the others? Or, do you think we could help?”“There are some healers around already, near the duel grounds, and I don’t doubt that the sylph delegation have their own. They do have a reputation for having the world’s greatest healers.”“Oh, okay,” I said.I didn't know why, exactly, but I was hit by a wave of tiredness that just dragged me down. So I moved over to Amaryllis and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and stuffed my head into the crook of her neck.“What are you doing, you idiot?” she asked softly as she returned the hug.“Recharging,” I said.She snorted. “Idiot.”I nodded into her side and just let the stress ebb away. “Hugging makes things better,” I said.I couldn’t see it, but I just knew she rolled her eyes. “You are far too affectionate for your own good. We should go see the others. Awen was worried about you.”“Right,” I said as I pulled back. “Thanks for the hug.”She shook her head. “Don’t mention it. Literally. Don’t. I don’t need a reputation.”“It wouldn’t be that bad,” I said. “A reputation of being a caring and loving friend.”“Of being a soft-hearted fool, more like. Speaking of, that Bastion man, what do you think of him?”“He’s a bit, uh, formal. But I think he has a good heart. He tried to shield me when the explosion went off, and he seemed to care for the others in his group.”“Hmm,” Amaryllis hummed. “That’s not much to go on. I suppose we’ll have to see. Now come on, I suspect that this party is over.”“Not the nicest way to end a party,” I said.“No, no it truly wasn’t. I expect the city guard to be crawling all over the place being ineffective in no time. We should see about getting back home before that. And perhaps we ought to get ready to move sooner rather than later. I have the impression that things are going to take a turn for the complicated, and I left the world of politics and backstabbing for a reason.”“I bet you were really good at politicking,” I said.She rolled her eyes, this time right in front of me. “Come on, idiot.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Six — Plotting
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Six — Plotting The day after the ball had passed in a sort of haze. We were all tired and other than Awen who had a sudden powerful urge to make stuff, the rest of us all lounged around being lazy all day and mostly just relaxed.That was yesterday. Today, I put off the shackles of laziness and got to work. I had to show off the ship to one of its most important crewmates.“And this is the main deck,” I said as I set Orange down. Carrying the cat up was a bit complicated, but I had managed.Orange looked about with... a distinctly feline lack of interest. She didn’t seem to care all that much about the Beaver.“Don’t look like that,” I said. “We’re all going to have a bunch of fun on this ship, and you have an important role to play too!”Orange stared up at me, her expression hinting that that role had better involve sleeping.“See, ships have rats and stuff in them,” I said.Orange’s eyes narrowed.“And we need to capture and carefully put them outside where they can go frolic elsewhere with their rat families,” I continued. “Oh, and our figureheads need guarding.” I started walking towards the front of the ship and Orange padded along silently.I patted one of the ducks.“These beaver-ducks need guarding,” I said. “We’ll all be very busy doing ship stuff, so I was hoping that we could hire you to be our chief ship figurehead guardscat.”Orange did not look amused.“Um... first cat mate of figurehead guarding?”She looked away, uninterested.“Cat captain of the figureheads?”Now she seemed a little interested. She started to lick her paw, enticed.“Fine. Grand admiral of the figureheads.”Orange gave me a kitty smile and sauntered past, rubbing herself against my leg for a moment before bouncing up and settling herself down atop one of the duck heads.“Wow, you’re really taking to your new job,” I said as I reached up and ran my hand over Orange’s side. Spirit cat fur had a strange texture to it, probably owing to how it wasn’t quite there.“Broccoli!” I heard Amaryllis call.I gave Orange one last pat before moving to the side of the ship so that I could look over the rail. Amaryllis was there, along with Clementine and Awen and three other harpies that I wasn’t familiar with. “Hello!” I called down.“Permission to come aboard, Captain?” the oldest of the harpies asked. He was a weather-beaten gentleman, with a craggy face and narrowed eyes. Not an unfriendly face, but one that had spent long hours out in the sun and wind. The other two with him were a great deal younger, maybe in their mid-twenties.“Sure thing!” I said. I wished that I had my awesome captain’s hat, but it was stuffed away in the guest bedroom the Albatross had given me.The group scurried up the ladder, ladies first, and gathered up on deck. “Welcome aboard,” I said.“A pleasure,” the older harpy said.Clementine brushed down the front of her pants, then took a moment to inspect the top deck of the Beaver. It was sparkling clean, and the fresh coat of paint on all the metal bits and varnish on the top really made it look like a brand-new ship. “Nice work,” she said. “I saw Awen’s... unorthodox modifications already, and with all of this repainting and refurbishing, I think this vessel might actually be worth something.”“Thanks,” I said. “I’m quite proud of the Beaver. I bet we’ll have all sorts of adventures together.”“She’s a nice ship,” the older harpy said.“He,” I corrected. “It’s a boy ship.”He blinked, then chuckled good naturedly. “Fair enough.”“This,” Clementine said. “Is Clive. He’s one of the most experienced harpy shipmen in all of the Nesting Kingdom.”“Wow,” I said. “That’s impressive. Did you serve on a lot of ships?”He nodded. “Oh yes. I was on the Condor, the very first harpy airship. Just a normal sailor then, mind you. I’ve been on every sort of ship for the past thirty-odd years.”“We brought him over because we figured the Beaver could use at least one experienced talon aboard,” Clementine said.“I know my way around navigation and the like,” Amaryllis said. “But I’m dead weight on the rigging and so on. And this ship is just big enough that there’s no way we could pilot it with just the three of us. Hence these two.”“Ah, yes, this is Steve and Gordon,” Clementine continued. The two harpy boys gave us quick salutes. “They’re your crew, basically.”“Wow!” I said. “So that makes... a crew of eight. Not bad.”“Eight?” Clementine asked.I nodded. “That’s if we take on Bastion from the sylph. I don’t know if he’s good on a ship, but he seems capable enough to help.”“That still doesn’t add up,” she said.“Did you forget to count Orange?” I gestured to the cat currently in loaf mode atop one of the figureheads.“I don’t think the cat counts as crew,” Clementine said.Clive cleared his throat. “Matter of fact, ma’am, many a ship does count her cats as crew. Important fellows too, when it comes to keeping the cargo nice and safe.”I could almost feel the smug radiating from Orange.“So, are you guys here to see if the Beaver’s ready to set sail?” I asked.Clive nodded along. “The boys here will give themselves a tour, check the rigging and the sails, and make sure everything is tip-top.”Steve and Gordon saluted again and snapped off to do as they’d been asked.“Both are navy-trained,” Clive said. “Good lads.”You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.“Indeed,” Clementine said. “I was hoping to look over a few charts. If you’ll be leaving soon, then we’ll need to chart a course sooner rather than later.” She tapped a small satchel that hung off her hip. “Do you have a place where we can look things over?”“Sure,” I said. “There’s plenty of room down below.”I led everyone over to the port cabin where we’d set up a bit of office space. Amaryllis had brought a few books to fill the shelves, and we had a couple stools bolted to the floor around a little desk. It was meant to be a captain’s room, but since we barely had a captain it felt nicer to just have a sort of office everyone could use.Also, the port cabin had windows and a little balcony and was much homier and brighter.Clementine set her satchel down, then laid a map onto the table. It was a big one, with little markers for distance and penned-in labels for the different cities between the Nesting Kingdom and the Sylphfree mountains.“Here.” She tapped at a city marker. “This is Quickwood. It’s a smaller city, with a decently large port. And it’s probably going to be your destination.”“Is it the capital?” I asked.“No, that’s Goldenalden.” Her talon moved up and tapped at a bigger marker. “Here. But traveling through the Sylphfree mountains without a local guide is treacherous, long, and rather expensive. It would be much cheaper to park the Beaver in Quickwood and then charter a place on one of the transports heading to and from the capital. Maybe you can even arrange for a teleport between the two.”“Neat,” I said. “So what’s the trajectory from here to Quickwood like?”“Ah, I’ve done this one a few times,” Clive said. “Easy enough, what with the Golden Peak acting as a landmark the entire way. Just keep it to port and keep moving straight and you’ll get there eventually.”“That is the usual route, yes,” Clementine said. “But I think that would be a little bit more dangerous than you’d want. There have been a lot of reports of privateers around Cinderlock and Fort Ignoble. The Trenten Flats deny all of that, of course, but they certainly wouldn’t mind if a war was sparked between the Nesting Kingdom and the sylph. It would feed into their expansionist agenda.”“Um,” I said as I looked at the map. “I can’t see a way to get to Sylphfree without crossing them, unless we circumnavigate the world?”“No, there’s another path,” Amaryllis said. “Southwest, through Deepmarsh, skirting the coast of the Empty Sea, then north across the Hoofbreaker Woods and finally into Quickwood. It’s a much longer route though.”“And not always safer. The Empty Sea may be very quiet year-round. But the Insatiable Ocean to the east, she’s hungry for ships and men.”“Hrm,” I said. “Which path is the most dangerous, Clementine?”“The fastest route. Your ship is small, easy prey for the cervid pirates. I think going south might be the safest. It will add two, maybe three days to your travel time, but you have plenty of room for that kind of fuel and the provisions you need, and if you leave tomorrow, that will still mean you’ll arrive at Quickwood a full three days before the official delegation leaving in a week or so.”“What do you think, Awen?” I asked.“Ah, um... I think that if the Beaver will have troubles it’ll probably be sooner rather than later. And we’ll be over Deepmarsh at first. They’re nice. But if we go straight, then we’ll be over the Trenten Flats.”“That’s true,” I said. “Also, going south and around just looks a lot more fun.”“Yes, because the amount of fun we have is the most important factor in all of this,” Amaryllis deadpanned.“Exactly, yes,” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”“I try my best,” I said. “But really, isn’t the entire goal of this to get stronger and more experienced? I bet there’s a lot more to learn when going through a long trip than with a risky hop over to our destination.”Clementine didn’t seem to react much to that. “Well, it’s your ship, do as you please.”I grinned back at her. “Yes ma’am! So, are we really ready to leave tomorrow?”“At first light, if everything checks out,” she said. “I don’t think this truly counts as the ship’s inaugural flight, though if you want to break a bottle on its side I’m sure we have something laying around.”“I think we’d rather keep the bottle and its contents. World knows I might need it when flying with her,” Amaryllis said with a gesture my way.“Hey!” I protested.Clive laughed, a deep belly laugh that sounded rough, and yet grandfatherly. “Oh, I think this might be one of the more interesting crews I’ve ever been part of, and on an interesting ship, no less.”“We strive to be interesting,” I said. “So, tonight’s our last night here?”“I suppose it’s not too late to have Gen-Gen and the others prepare a feast. I’m certain that Rosaline would appreciate a last meal with her beau.”Awen’s face burst into colour and she suddenly focused really hard on the map.“I think that would be nice,” I said. Clive, do you want to join us?”“I’m not much for fancy feast-like things, ma’am,” he said.“Nonsense! You and Steve and Gordon should join us. It’ll be a bonding moment. We’ll get to know each other a bit and it’ll make it easier to work together in the future.”“Ah, if the lady insists,” he said. He didn’t look all that contrary to the idea. “Though I won’t be spending too long, I’m afraid; I do need to get some affairs in order before we leave on the morrow.”I gave him a big thumbs-up. “Sure thing. I think that this flight is going to be super smooth sailing.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Adventure Waits for No Bun
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Adventure Waits for No Bun If we expected to be ready by the next morning, then we were dead wrong. The Beaver Cleaver wasn’t ready by sun up, not in the least.“Steve, how’s the aft sail?” Clive called out across the deck while winding up some rope with expert flicks of his wings.“Ready, sir! Had to redo part of the rigging on it. We’ll need to see how he handles in the wind,” Steve called back as he climbed over the edge of the ship and onto the deck.I was observing them, my awesome captain’s hat partially shading the sun from my eyes. At least the day was nice for an eventual take-off. The skies were clear save for a sprinkling of little puffy clouds, and the wind was down to a low whisper that occasionally caressed my cheeks in passing.“There, that’s done,” Amaryllis said as she walked out of the starboard cabin and wiped her talons on her pants. “All my things are stowed away.”“Great!” I said as I joined her. My own stuff was all tucked into a chest in my little room. I didn’t have much to hide away to begin with, so the room was still a bit spartan. A few awesome adventures would fix that right up. “Have you seen Awen?”“She’s not below,” Amaryllis said. “Or if she is, she’s found a quiet place to hide in.”“Hmm,” I hummed as I looked about.We had lowered the gangplank off to one side, and Gen-Gen had provided a scaffolding of all things so that people coming aboard didn’t need to do so up a rope ladder. It meant that the maids and serving staff scurrying about could carry armfulls of stuff aboard.So far, we’d filled the pantries and the water barrels, brought in some clothes and a few materials that Gen-Gen thought could come in handy. Things that I wouldn’t have thought of bringing myself, like soap and medical kits and extra blankets and silverware.“I can’t see Awen, but there’s Bastion,” I said as I pointed off to the side.Amaryllis moved closer and craned her neck out like the stickybeak she was.Bastion was walking next to Clementine, both of them keeping a steady pace as they crossed the yard. The paladin had a big backpack on, his sword strapped to it as opposed to around his hip. He was only wearing half his armour too, the breastplate missing and a helmet dangling from his pack by a strap.“He’s actually coming,” Amaryllis said.“I guess so,” I replied. Seeing Bastion was... well, it brought up some sad memories; memories that I’d rather forget, as unfair and wrong as that might be. None of that was the sylph’s fault though.Clementine moved aboard first, Bastion waving her ahead with a gallant bow.“Permission to come aboard?” he asked from the very edge of the gangplank.“Granted!” I said. It was a lot of fun to play the role of captain. “Welcome aboard the Beaver Cleaver.”Bastion saluted me and took a moment to look around the ship. Even with all the people moving around, the decks were spotless and everything had the slick brilliance of brand-new equipment. “This is a nice vessel,” he said. “A little unorthodox in its shape and construction, but it seems well-maintained.”“He’s a good ship,” I confirmed. “Ah, you’ve met Amaryllis?” I asked. “She’s the First Mate.”“Am I now?” Amaryllis asked.“Yup. That’s the official title for the captain’s best friend,” I explained. “The spirit cat over there is Orange, our admiral of rodent removal.” I gestured over to Orange who was sitting atop one of the figureheads in the optimal position to lord it over everyone.“Ah,” Bastion said.“Awen is our chief mechanic. We, uh, don’t actually know where she is,” I said. “But she’ll be coming around.”“I see,” he said.“The three harpies here are Clive, he’s our most experienced sea...skyman, and our navigator. The other two are Steve and Gordon. And that’s the whole crew.”“A small crew, though I suppose that’s all you would need on a ship of this size,” Bastion said. “If you ever need my assistance for anything, do feel free to ask. I don’t have any skills related to working aboard an airship, but I’m certain I can lend a hand here and there.”“Brilliant!” I said. “Oh, your cabin is down below, on the fancy side. Unless you want a hammock with the rest of the boys. They are very comfy hammocks. I tested them myself.” Mostly because hammocks were fun.“I wouldn’t mind a small cabin, if it’s not imposing,” he said.“Neat!”I was about to ask him a few things, but I was distracted by seeing Awen running up the gangplank with an armful of tools and two bags swaying by her hip, both of them clanging and banging with every motion. “Ah-awa, I’m here,” Awen said.I grinned at her. “We wouldn’t leave without you,” I said.“Speaking of leaving,” Clementine said with a glance to the still-rising sun. “I think it’s about time you depart, isn’t it?”“Wait!” We all looked over the side to see Rosaline sprinting over. “Don’t leave without hugs!”Amaryllis and Clementine both rolled their eyes as Rosaline climbed aboard. She paused for a moment to recoup her breath, then stood straighter and extended her wings to both sides. “You left without saying goodbye last time,” she told Amaryllis.Amaryllis sighed and walked into the hug. “I know,” she said. “We won’t be gone forever.”“I would hope not,” Rosaline said.Once she was done hugging and maybe humiliating Amaryllis a bit, she skipped over to me and wrapped me up in a wing-y cocoon. “I’ll miss you,” I said as I hugged her back. I even patted her head with my ears for good measure.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.“Me too!” she said.Then Rosaline took a step back and stared at Awen.Awen stared right back.Both of them turned a little red in the cheek.As cute as it was, I felt the need to intervene before we ended up staying there all evening while they stared. “You know, you could give each other long-distance hugs,” I said.“Awa?”I nodded seriously. “Yup. See, that’s when you really want to hug someone, but they’re way too far away, so instead you send the hug by letter.”“You can send hugs by letter?” Rosaline asked. She sounded downright amazed, which-to be fair-was normal. I was too when I learned about long-distance hugging. Of course, we did it by phone on Earth.“Yup. See, you just need to write down exactly what you would do while hugging someone. The more details about the cuddliness and strength of the hug, the better.”Rosaline and Awen looked at each other again, this time they went ever redder. “W-well, we’re here now,” Rosaline said. “So one last short-distance hug for the trip!”“Awa!” Awen agreed.Rosaline swept Awen up in a big feathery hug, her cheek pressing up against Awen’s as she rubbed against her.And then Awen pulled back.Rosaline made a confused little sound, one that suddenly warbled and wavered as a very red Awen pressed her lips against Rosaline’s.It wasn’t a very romantic kiss, more of a big mushy mess, and it only lasted a second before Awen pulled back and took a moment to breath really hard.“Awa.”Awen ran, clanging and banging with every step as her tools jostled around. The door to the rear cabin banged shut and the deck was left all quiet for a moment.Rosaline turned to face us with a very smug grin on. “Well, that was my goodbyes said,” she said. “I’m going to watch from the side.”“Bye!” I called to her as she sauntered down the gangplank.“I suppose I should say my own goodbyes,” Clementine said. She gave Amaryllis a very quick, very perfunctory hug, then did the same for me. “Do give Awen my goodbyes as well,” she said. “Paladin Bastion, it was a pleasure meeting you.”“Likewise,” he replied.And then the only people aboard were the crew.“I don’t think we’ll be able to rely on Awen for a bit,” Amaryllis said. “She’s no doubt having a bit of a crisis in her rooms.”“That’s okay,” I said. “We can take off as soon as everything’s stowed away. I’ll get Clive to cut us loose.”Amaryllis nodded. “Come on, Paladin, I’ll show you to your cabin.”“Please, call me Bastion,” he said.I watched them go, then fit my hat on straight and moved over to Clive and the others. “Are we ready to go?” I asked.“On your order, captain,” he said.The next few minutes were quick and busy. Clive and I gathered behind the wheel while Steve and Gordon weighed anchor and got ready to cast off our moorings.The older harpy took his place behind the big wheel atop one cabin and eyed all the dials and controls laid out around him. “Engine’s idle and still cool. Fuel’s full up. Propeller is...” He yanked a lever down with a satisfying ‘crunk’ and with a growing hum that turned into a buzz, the large prop at the back of the Beaver spun to life, still slow, but definitely moving. “Spinning.”I gripped the rail, a huge grin pulling at my cheeks. “Cut us loose!” I called out.“Aye!” Steve and Gordon called back.The Beaver shifted as the ropes holding him down went slack. Then, ever so slowly, we began to rise. It felt like being on an elevator pushing its way up a dozen floors.“Goodbye!” I screamed over the side while waving.Rosaline screamed back, and Clementine waved in return. Even the staff that had gathered to watch seemed more excited than usual.“Balloon is full up,” Clive continued. “We’ve got positive buoyancy. I’m pushing a bit more into the gravity engine.” He reached a talon out and pushed a lever forwards. The engine’s hum shifted in pitch and I felt a tingle run through me and make my hair stand on end.The Beaver Cleaver started to move up a whole lot faster.“Half ahead,” Clive said. “And thirty degrees port.” He spun the wheel; the sails all around the ship snapped in the wind. Navigation flaps unfurled and caught some wind, sending the nose of the ship to slowly turn around.I watched the ground below spread out. We weren’t flying all that high up, not while still over Fort Sylphrot. There wasn’t much point when starting so high up the mountains already.Amaryllis and Awen and Bastion got on deck. They didn’t have much to do, not while we were just barely taking off, but it was good to have them around to share the moment.“We’re in the skies, captain,” Clive said.“We are,” I agreed.A deep breath of the chilly air sweeping around us left me feeling giddy.“Clive, point us due south and give it some gas. We’ll see what this ship can do.”“Aye-aye,” he said with a huge grin of his own. “Full ahead!”The engine roared, the propeller sang a humming song, and the Beaver Cleaver leapt forwards and across the skies.It was time to leave the Nesting Kingdom behind, if only for a moment, and head out to find more adventure, more friends, and become companions along the way!Being able to travel faster might have made the world a smaller place to some, but I figured it just meant that we would reach the best parts of our adventure all the quicker.I gripped onto the rails next to the wheel and smiled out to the horizon.Adventure waits for no bun.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Smooth Sailing
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Smooth Sailing I tugged my hat down to keep it on as a heavy gust of wind blew across the deck and set my skirts to flapping. I’d need to invest in some stockings, the air at our altitude was a bit past chilly. I might have been a proper cold-blooded Canadian, but that didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy keeping warm when I could.“Port foresail to half!” Clive called out across the deck.I was the nearest to the fore of the ship, so I jogged over to the railing and dropped to one knee next to them. The foresails were controlled with a set of cranks hidden under a plank that could be slid aside like a drawer. There were marks etched around the crank to show where each position would be, so all I had to do was twist it around a few times.Still, I stuck my head over the side of the Beaver to see how well the sail had retracted. It gave me a gorgeous view of the ocean of clouds below. Past those, through the raggedy gaps left in the white sea, I could see the grey mountains of the Nesting Kingdom slowly giving way to sparse woodlands and some marshland.“Clive!” I called back. “Have we passed the Nesting Kingdom already?” I resettled the lid over the sail controls and dusted off my skirts as I stood up. The Beaver was shifting a little underfoot, but I was able to shift with it. It was like standing up atop a raft in choppy waters, but with less swaying to it.Clive hung onto the wheel and looked to his side where a compass stood atop a little pillar. “Aye, it’s possible, captain,” he said. “We should be following the Eastern Wall all the way to the Bracklands. We’re hitting a lot of wind though, more than I rightly expected.”I nodded and hopped my way over towards the middle of the deck. Steve and Gordon were chatting amiably while coiling up some rope, and Bastion was on the starboard deck, swinging his sheathed sword around.There wasn’t too much work to do now that we were underway. We’d need to replace Clive at the wheel eventually, the poor harpy had been at it for five hours, ever since we left Fort Sylphrot that morning.Maybe I could take a turn at it? The wind was a bit strong, but we had time and fuel and such to spare if we were a bit off course. It would be a good opportunity to practice for later!“How’s it going?” I asked Bastion as I landed a couple of meters away from him. The last thing I wanted was a whap on the ears for being too close to a swing of his sword.The sylph paused for a bit and ran the back of an arm across his forehead. “I’m alright,” he said. “It seems to be smooth sailing so far.”“Yeah!” I agreed. “The Beaver’s doing a good job.”“That he is,” Bastion agreed. He shifted his shoulders a bit and then eyed me up and down. “Do you fight, Captain Bunch?”“Not too much,” I said. “And not that well.”“Well, your level suggests that you’ve been in a tussle or two in the past,” he said. “But maybe that’s normal for a life of adventure.”I shrugged a shoulder, then, because he’d obviously done it to me, I used a bit of Insight on him too.A Paladin of the Just Path, Level ??Did that mean that he was past level twenty in his main class? Or was that more? He didn’t feel stronger than someone like, say, Abraham, but then maybe that was normal. “Maybe we can spar a bit? I could definitely learn a lot more about fighting my way out of trouble. And it wouldn’t hurt to get a few new skills.”“You have some open slots?” he asked.“Yup! My class evolution was just a week or so ago.”His eyebrows rose at that. “Well then, do you have a weapon of choice?”“Not really. I have a Makeshift Weapons Proficiency. I tend to use a spade. Do you think I should use that now?”“A spade? I... certainly. I’ve never fought anyone using a shovel as a weapon before. It will be interesting practice,” Bastion said.I grinned at him, then hopped back towards the port side of the ship and towards the cabins. On the way, I brought up Mister Menu and took a look at my stats and such. It had been a while since I looked at my skills.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
10
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
2
Age
16
Health
135
Stamina
145
Mana
130
Resilience
45
Flexibility
60
Magic
25
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 35%
Way of the Mystic Bun
E — 49%
Gardening
D — 24%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 98%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 91%
Mad Millinery
F — 87%
General Skills
Insight
C — 82%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
F — 63%
Friendmaking
C — 49%
Matchmaking
F — 47%
Cinnamon Bun Skill Points
4
Wonderlander Skill Points
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
1
General Skill Points
4
First Class Slots
0
Second Class Slots
0
General Skill Slots
5
“Yikes,” I said. There were a bunch of skills that I really needed to look at.My Cleaning was gaining experience at a bit of a crawl. I supposed that that was normal, seeing as how it was at Rank A. It would take a lot more effort to get it up to Rank S, but that was only fair.I had a few skills that I had hardly touched at all. Gardening, Archeology, and Adorable were kind of stagnating. The last was okay though, it was an awful and useless skill that was a big fat lie. But Gardening and Archeology both seemed like they could be handy.Maybe I could start a little garden on the Beaver? Just a few little trees, maybe a patch of tomatoes next to some watermelon? I licked my lips at the thought of fresh produce growing right on deck.Way of the Mystic Bun was levelling steadily. As was Tea Making. Even Mad Millinery was coming along, though I had no idea what I was doing to make that level up. Dancing was super close to reaching Rank C.I... hesitated about putting a point into it. It cost five points to get a skill to Rank S, and I was at four. One more level of Cinnamon Bun Bun and I’d have the skill point needed to bring Cleaning up a notch, assuming I could get it to the point where it was ready to level.I ducked my head under the doorway to the cabins. It was easy to forget that at seven foot something I had to be careful about thumping my ears on doorframes.The fancy side of the Beaver had changed a bit since we’d gotten it. Now, as I passed by some of the little rooms, I could see the familiar touches my friends had given to their rooms. Amaryllis’ had two shelves against the walls, with a horizontal bar running across them to keep the books locked in place as the ship moved.She had a nice chair bolted in place to read on, and a little dresser and chest that was no doubt filled with the stuff she thought was important on a long trip.Awen’s room was... a bit messy. I suspected that she’d had maids cleaning after her her whole life and never really got into the habit herself. There were trunks overflowing with bits and bobs, tools hanging off of nails set on every wall, some of them rattling and clanking with every motion of the Beaver and she had a workbench off to one side with some sort of greasy thing on it.Her bed was tucked away, as if an afterthought, in a corner, the sheets all rumpled up, and there were some clothes already gathered in a pile on the floor.Maybe I could help her clean up later. It would help level my skill, and keep things nice and neat.The next two rooms across from each other were mine and Bastion’s. He had the door closed, which was fair. He didn’t exactly have time to bring in furniture or stuff anyway, so I imagined all he had was a bed and the chest we’d last placed in that room.My own room was a bit boring. I had a bed tucked up to one side, and a shelf with a big lip to it on the other. I had my books there. Herbs for Healing, Plants for Power and A Guide to Manipulating the Essence that Awen had returned with a few oil stains. Some scrolls were tied up next to them. The spear I got from Oak hung above that in pride of place.I had a stack of fresh blankets, a folded-up tent and a few other things I’d been carrying in my backpack up until recently, but that was about it. I didn’t have much to my name yet. I was sure I’d accumulate a few treasures along the way though.I grabbed my trusty warspade from its hook on one wall, then ducked back out into the central corridor.The sounds of chatting from deeper in made me curious, so I moved over to the fore and towards the little kitchen and dining area we’d set up.“I think it needs more... salt? Maybe?”“Awa, are you sure? We put in a lot already.”“Of course. Look at how dark it is there. I think it’s supposed to be brown, not black, and salt should lighten it. Or maybe we need milk?”I was almost in the kitchen when I heard Awen gasp and Amaryllis mutter something in a hurry. By the time I arrived they were both standing, facing me and with their backs to something that was smoking.“Uh, hi?” I tried. My friends were acting really suspicious. Also, the air smelled like burnt veggies.“Hello,” Amaryllis said. “What are you doing here?”“I... live here?” I tried. “With both of you?”“Well, yes, that’s obvious. You idiot,” Amaryllis said.“Uh-huh. What are you guys doing?”“Awa, nothing!”I raised an eyebrow at that. “Nothing?”“N-nothing,” she agreed.“What’s that burning behind you?” I asked. Things that were on fire was something of a concern aboard an airship. “And why does it smell weird in here?”“Awen passed gas,” Amaryllis said.“Awa!” Awen exclaimed, her face turning all sorts of interesting shades. “That’s not, that’s....” Amaryllis poked her. “Yes. that’s what happened. We should open a window.”Neither of them moved towards either one of the porthole windows.The thing behind them continued to smoke.“You guys know that you can tell me anything, right?” I asked.Awen and Amaryllis looked at each other, and I think some sort of understanding passed between each other.“We know,” Amaryllis said. “Now get back to work, you lazy idiot.”“O...kay?” I said. “Uh, by the way, we’ll need to cook dinner soon.”Both of them blushed a bit at that.“I can probably have Steve or Gordon come down to cook. They seem very handy.”Amaryllis looked away. “That makes sense. Cooking is a menial, peasant-y task.”“Uh huh,” I agreed doubtfully. “Your nothing is on fire, by the way.”Both girls spun around to take in the big pot behind them that was, in fact, on fire. I could make out some sort of chopped up meat on the table, and some veggies cut into... shapes that might have been cubes if I squinted really hard.I decided that it might be best to leave them to whatever they were doing. It seemed like something that would drain away a lot of sanity.“I’ll be on deck with Bastion,” I said. “If you need anything, like, uh, cooking advice, you just need to ask.”“We need no such thing,” Amaryllis said. Then she started batting at some grease that had caught fire with a towel.“Sure,” I agreed as I left them to it.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Geomagnetic Wandering
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Geomagnetic Wandering For lunch, we had crackers (or maybe they were just good hardtack?) with a bit of goat cheese on them. The crackers were cut a bit crooked, and the blocks of cheese weren’t any better. Still, that’s what Awen and Amaryllis placed on the table when the time for lunch came around.The meal didn’t even begin to match the pile of dishes in the sink, but I chose not to ask why it took three pans to make crackers with cheese.I had my lunch atop the aftcastle while hanging onto the ship’s wheel with one hand. The wind was still as strong as ever, blowing in from the east and making it a bit hard to navigate in a straight line, but I was confident in my skills.“Captain,” I heard someone ask.I turned around in time to see Bastion climbing up to the forecastle. He looked to be at-ease, even after our sparring earlier. That was probably because he didn’t take so much as a single hit. The sylph was surprisingly agile, and a decent teacher when he felt like it.“Hey Bastion,” I said. “How’s it going?”He smiled and gave me a firm nod. “It’s going well enough. The Beaver isn’t the largest ship, but the crew is small enough that it doesn’t feel cramped at all. It’s a far cry better than some ships I’ve been aboard.”“Did you serve on ships before?” I asked. Then I realized that I didn’t know much about his work. “Do paladins serve on ships?”He laughed and walked up to the rails at the front so that he had something to lean on. “Some do. Most ships have at least one member of the Inquisitorial Guard aboard. But the paladins are sort of a... I suppose you might consider us a side branch of the main body.”“I really don’t know much about that,” I said.“Ah, I suppose not. I don’t want to bore you with the details,” he said.I shook my head. “No no, please tell me everything. Being at the wheel has only been good for freezing my fingers and the tips of my ears off.” I would need to find some gloves, and some socks for my ears. I’d left my earmuffs in my cabin like a big dumb dork.“If you want,” he said. “The Inquisition was made to watch over both the Church of the World and the rest of the population of Sylphfree on behalf of the royal family. As such their duties are rather wide. Most of the work can be dull, actually. A lot of bookkeeping and verifying that people are paying their dues, that donated gold goes to where it’s meant to, and ensuring that political promises are kept.”“Huh,” I said. “I thought it would be more religious.”“Not really. We’re affiliated to the Church, but more to keep an eye on it. There was an incident some time ago. A dark part of our history, where some clergymen grew too big for their wings. The royal family instituted the Inquisition to prevent that from happening.”“And the paladins are part of that?” I asked.“They are now. The paladins are an order of knights tasked with the protection of the royal family and its interests above all else.”“Like an army?”He shook his head. “No, not quite. There are only a couple hundred paladins, for one. And our hierarchy and duties are entirely different to the army’s. A paladin wouldn’t show up on a battlefield unless a member of the royal family were there. On the other hand, a paladin might be sent on dangerous missions alone. Sometimes as couriers; sometimes as powerful, lone warriors.”“That sounds really cool!” I gave him a thumbs-up, then plopped another cracker in my mouth and chewed fast so that I could talk more. “I bet there are a lot of kids that want to grow up to be paladins!”“Hah! There are. I was certainly one of them.” He crossed his arms so that only his elbows touched the rails. He seemed lost staring out ahead. “It’s an interesting job, I’ll give it that.”“Do you like it?”He took a moment to respond. “I do. I don’t like how we’ve become so tied at the hip with the Inquisition. I’d rather be chasing down ruffians and criminals over chasing down taxation reports, but I suppose that if that’s what they said in all the stories, we wouldn’t have as many recruits wanting to join.”“That does sound a bit less fun than being a knight in shining armour and all,” I said.“Perhaps. I’m quite fortunate to be in my position. Sylphfree might pride itself on being a meritocracy, but the truth of it is that despite the claim, rising to the top is usually done by those who began a step ahead.”“So you’re not a noble or anything?” I asked.He shook his head. “I’m not,” he said. “More of an uplifted gutter rat than anything.”I snorted. “Neat! We can both have poor origins together, then!”We spent a moment doing nothing as I hung onto the wheel and felt the wind pushing me from behind, my hair whipping out ahead of me as it escaped my hat.Bastion pushed himself off the rails and ran a hand through his short-cropped hair. “I think I’m going to go down below, Captain,” he said.I grinned over. “Enjoy yourself,” I said. “It’s only just midday, but if you want to take a nap or something, now’s the time.”He shook his head. “No, I think I’ll do a bit of studying. Fly us safe.”I saluted him, then caught the wheel as it began to turn on its own.Bastion left, and I found myself alone atop the forecastle. The wind picked up from behind us, and soon we were hurtling forwards at a decent clip. A glance at the altimeter showed that we were more than high enough, and the compass... was wobbling a bit.If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.Strange, but maybe that was normal. I’d have to ask Clive about it.The sky turned a little cloudy, and soon the Beaver charged headlong into a sea of white. For a little stretch I couldn’t even see the deck, but then we burst out the other end and continued sailing until we hit the next cloudbank.Just in case, I adjusted the gravity engine and gave us a bit more altitude to fly over the clouds.When they next cleared, I saw that that had been a mistake. We’d been in the lower part of the cloudbank earlier, now we were in the middle. There was plenty of room below, so I adjusted the engine again and we slowly dipped under the cloud sea.It was nice to just stretch my head back and look up into a sky that felt so close that I could almost touch it.Time passed, marked as I switched hands. One was always squeezed up in my armpit to thaw while the other held the wheel. It was just too bad I couldn’t do the same for my ears.“Ahoy there, Captain,” Clive said as he climbed up the steps to join me.“Hey there, Clive,” I said.“Sun’s starting to set,” he said while pointing off to the orange sky. Then he frowned and looked out ahead of the ship, then back to the sun. “Captain, any reason why we’re heading due south?”“Huh?” I asked.A look at the compass showed that it was spinning one way, then the other.“We’re heading south?”“Unless the sun decided that it wants a change in resting places, then yes.”“Ah,” I said. “What do we do?”Clive moved over to the edge of the ship and looked down. His expression wasn’t reassuring. “We’re over the Darkwoods.”“Oh, I’ve been there before,” I said.“You’ve flown over before?” he asked.I shook my head.“Dangerous. Real dangerous. There’s a lot of magic in those woods, some of it’s corrupt and foul. Some, ancient and primordial. Sailing over the woods is a bad idea. The winds don’t help any. Currents come from the east, but they swing around the mountains near Mattergrove, and you have warm tides coming in from the desert too.”I felt the Beaver drop out from under me, as if we’d just lost a whole lot of altitude.“We’re going to need the maps!” Clive said as he jumped behind the wheel. With a few flicks he changed the pitch of the engine and deployed some sails. “Get the boys up on deck too.”“R-right!” I said before running off.I’d made a big mistake, it seemed.Bursting into the kitchen, I found Steve and Gordon chatting around the table. “We need you on deck,” I said. “Amaryllis, where are the maps?”Amaryllis poked her head out of her room. “What? What’s going on-” she cut herself off as the Beaver lurched again.“Maps!”She was quick to give me a folded map, one with our route traced out across it in red. Our projected route, the one I’d slipped us out of.I didn’t have time to thank her properly as I followed the boys up and onto the deck, then ran up to the top of the forecastle to join Clive.“I’ve settled him into a steady flight,” Clive said. “Wind’s at our back, so the prop’s just idling.” He took the map when I handed it to him and looked at it for a moment before staring around us. “Harpy Mountains are over there, we can see the lighthouses for Port Royal way off to the north.”I turned northwards and could, in fact, make out some lights near the mountains over there. “Can’t ships go to Port Royal with no problem?” I asked. I’d flown aboard ships to and from there before. Also a dragon, but that didn’t count.“Aye, but Port Royal isn’t in the darkwoods. It’s just shy of it, but not in it. Perfectly smooth flying around there.”“But not here?” I asked. We were flying pretty smoothly now.“We’re coasting with it, not fighting against the winds. We’re going to need to push hard south and hope we can fly out over the Empty Sea near Needleford. Should be calmer there.”“Oh, okay,” I said. That was reassuring. We were off course, but by the looks of it, we would end up pretty close to where we were meant to be. Only an inch off on the map.Clive hummed. “I don’t like the idea of flying here at night.”“We can’t exactly just... stop flying,” I said.He barked a laugh. “Fair. Captain, I’d suggest that we come in for a landing. Find a nice flat plot of land to settle down on for the night, somewhere our anchors can reach. These woods are dangerous, but we’ll be high enough off the ground to keep safe, and we can keep a rotation out to scare off any critters.”I nodded after just a moment’s hesitation. Clive knew better than I did. “Sure. Where do you think we should land? I know a few places in the woods.”“Hrm. Hard to tell. I think maybe once we’re past the main body of trees,” Clive said. Less trees, farther from water. We’ll probably find fewer critters out to get us.”The Beaver spun a little underfoot as a gust battered him aside. “Let’s do it,” I said. “The sooner the better. I’d rather be safe than sorry.”“Aye aye, Captain.”What followed was a hectic hour of Clive calling out orders that I tried to follow as best I could. Amaryllis and Awen joined eventually, pulling their weight as we wrangled the ship into flying in a more or less proper way.The ground, when I looked over the edge sometimes, was approaching in fits and starts.I only hoped that the Darkwoods would be as kind to us now as it had been to me before.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty — You're Grounded, Young Lady
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty — You're Grounded, Young Lady The sun was well on its way to setting by the time we finally slipped over the Darkwoods and began to cross a wide open field, one filled with a myriad of foot-tall stumps.“Get ready to drop the anchors!” Clive called across the deck.Steve and Gordon were already at the anchors on both sides, hands grabbing onto the levers that would loosen the mechanism holding them in place and let the iron weights fall to the ground below and hopefully grab onto something.“Awa!” Awen called. “There’s something over there!”I rushed over to her side of the ship and hung off the side to look out ahead. We were only a hundred or so meters away from the ground now, but we were still moving along at a decent pace.I followed the direction Awen was pointing in and squinted.“Buildings out ahead!” I shouted. “Off to port!”Clive nodded. “Aye!” he replied.I went back to hanging off the side of the ship, one hand holding my hat in place while my ears flopped back with the wind. The buildings out ahead weren’t anything impressive. A lot of long, low houses made of wood set in orderly rows, a couple of warehouses and one bigger building near the middle.The machinery around it, and the presence of a large sawmill gave away their purpose. A lumber yard.That explained all the cut-down trees, at least.“Drop the anchors!” Clive said.The engine roared, and the propeller started to spin in the opposite direction as usual.The Beaver tilted strangely and pitched as we started to slow down.With a great rattle, the anchors dropped, their chains jangling as they fell to the earth below.“Stow the sails!” Clive said.Every sail alongside the ship pulled in, taking away the Beaver’s great big wings that caught in the air.I hopped over to one of those that needed to be manually stowed and started spinning its crank as quickly as I could.Then, finally, with the snapping of ropes and the rumble of the engine, the Beaver came to a lurching stop. The anchors caught onto something and the ship wobbled about for a moment before settling.A glance over the edge showed that we were only a couple of dozen meters from the ground now.The engine sputtered and choked off as Clive cut the gas. It was surprisingly quiet when there was no wind whipping at us and no engine rumbling away in the background. “Let’s crank him down,” Clive said.Steve and Gordon got to work winding up the chains leading to the anchors, and the Beaver started to lower his way down to the ground below. I wiped the back of a hand across my brow, then grinned over to Awen. “We made it,” I said.“Ah, I guess so,” she agreed. “That was a bit... a lot stressful.”I gave her a quick hug, because that was the best way to reduce stress. “No worries, we’re safe now,” I said. “I’m going to go check on Clive and the others.’Awen nodded a bunch, then gestured towards her cabin. “I’ll be down below,” she said.I waved her off as I skipped across the deck towards Clive. The older harpy was leaning on the wheel, looking quite tired. “Ah, Captain,” he said when I approached. “That was a good bit of flying, if I do say so myself.”I nodded. “I’m really happy you’re onboard, Clive, I don’t think we would have made it down here in one piece without you.”“Bah, I’ve been in worse scraps. Mind you, I was a pinch younger then.”“I can imagine,” I said. “Will the Beaver be alright now?”“Aye, he should be just fine. If the weather’s kind tomorrow morning we can take off and head down south. I’ll have to look at the fuel for the engine. I think we burned through a chunk of it there. Still plenty in the bunker, but not as much as I’d like for a trip as long as ours.”“You mentioned Needleford earlier,” I said.“Aye. Nice little port. Quiet and out of the way. Lots of lumber and the like passing through. Should be able to get a decent price on fuel there if you do the negotiating,” he said.“Me?” I asked. He knew a lot more about ships than I did.He nodded. “They don’t like strange folk, and they think that harpies are mighty strange. They’ll be kinder to you.”Oh. That wasn’t very nice at all. Not much we could do about it now though. I glanced up and to a sky turning orange. In an hour or two the sun would set and we’d be wrapped in night. “We’ll need to set up a rotation for the night,” I said. “You should get a full night’s sleep though, your job’s too important to do half-awake.”“If I was a few years younger I’d protest,” he said. “But I’ve learned better since. I’ll take a night’s rest if I can afford it.”“Cool,” I said. “You certainly deserve it after the day we’ve had. I just hope that our next bit of flying is a lot smoother. And... and I'm sorry about leading us so badly off course. I didn’t mean to.”Clive waved the comment away. “It’s fine, Captain. No one was hurt, and the worse that happened was that we got blown off course a fair way. It’ll cost us a day in the long run, but that’s all.”I nodded, then paused as I saw Steve looking over the side of the ship with narrowed eyes. “Captain!” he said.“You get some rest,” I told Clive before jogging over. “What is it?” I asked.I really didn’t need to. The thing bothering Steve was painfully obvious. There was a group of humans heading our way, maybe a dozen in all.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.They were on foot, all of them in rough work clothes and with axes by their sides. They had scruffy beards and looked to be a bit nervous as they took in the Beaver in all of his bright yellow glory.“Ah, darn. I think we landed in someone’s field,” I said.“Should we prepare to pull the anchor?” Steve asked.I shook my head. “Nah. Can you go get Amaryllis and Awen? And maybe tell mister Bastion too.”“Aye, Captain,” Steve said before running off.I eyed the group for a bit. They were still a ways off. It would take a while before they arrived. They didn’t look like they were out to cause trouble. We’d probably just spooked them by landing so close.Running my hands down the front of my skirt, I made sure everything was nice and neat, then I adjusted my hat while placing one foot atop the railing.I pushed some stamina into my leg, then shot out ahead and through the air. My feet came out ahead in a wide V and I kept a hand atop my hat to keep it in place.I landed a dozen meters away from the lumberjacks, rolled twice to bleed off some momentum, then came to my feet while pushing a bit of magic into my Cleaning aura to make sure my battledress stayed nice and presentable.Doffing my hat, I brought it around with a flourish and pressed it over my chest as I bowed.I think that maybe wearing such a feathery hat was making me a bit theatrical. “Hello,” I said. “I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch, of the Beaver Cleaver,” I said. “I hope we haven’t landed on your field?”The lumberjacks all looked over to each other. They were big guys, all of them well-muscled and looking quite tough. I probably seemed rather silly coming up to them with nothing while they had axes and such, but I wasn’t there to fight.They seemed to elect a leader among their group, an older man with shrewd eyes and a beard that was turning grey at the edges. He stepped up past the rest of them and came to a stop at the front of the group, the head of his axe thumping into the dirt.“Ahoy,” he said. “Pleasure to meet you, Captain Bunch. I’m, Edmund, of the East Mattergrove Company’s Woodland Harvesting Division.”That was a mouthful for a company name. I nodded to him and placed my hat back on with only a bit of wiggling to fit my ears back into their holes. “Neat. I hope we aren’t bothering you by landing here?”“Not really,” he said. “At least, not for now. If you plan to stay, that’s another story.”I shook my head. “No, nothing like that. We got caught in a bit of wind over the Darkwoods,” I said. “It dragged us over here. The ship’s pilot is really good though, and managed to land us safely. We’re planning on heading to Needleford tomorrow morning.”Understanding flashed in his eyes, and he gestured to his friends who all seemed to calm down a bit more. “The skies over the Darkwoods can be mighty dangerous,” he said.“We sort of realized that,” I said. “It was my mistake that got us caught up in them, but it might be for the best in the end.”He nodded. “Well, it’s one way to get to Needleford. Usually you’d need to skirt near Port Royal then all along the Seven Points. Where’d you hail from?”“Fort Sylphrot, en route to the Bracklands,” I said.Edmund frowned at that. “You went way off course then.”I smiled sheepishly. “Oops?”He laughed once, a big barking thing, as rough as he looked. “No matter. Most days I’d say that you ought only keep a watch overnight. But we’ve been having troubles lately. Dryads in the woods have attacked our camp a few times. We’ve... negotiated a sort of peace, but it’s cobweb-thin.”“Dryads?” I asked. I’d only ever met one dryad. Oak had been nice. Especially his chin. “How come they’re causing trouble? And if you’re at peace with them, why is it so thin?”Edmund rubbed at his chin. “It’s a bit of a long story, I think. Just some nasty business that’s blown up into nastier business. Now we have officials from the East Mattergrove Company here to sue for peace, but it’s not going so well.”“Huh, that’s unfortunate,” I said. “I met a dryad once, he was actually kind of nice.”He looked at me strangely. “Nice? Never met creatures more tenacious and violent than those walking trees. Good warriors, some of them. I’ll give them that. But nice isn’t how I’d describe them.”I shrugged. Maybe we’d met different dryads, or maybe they’d met some under different circumstances.“If you want, captain, you could dine with the gentlefolk from the company. I'm sure they’d appreciate some company that ain’t as rough as us.”I glanced over to the Beaver and saw that Amaryllis had made her way down already. Surprisingly, Bastion was with her, and there was a rope ladder extending down the side all the way to the ground, with Awen climbing down rung-by-rung.“You know, that might be nice,” I said. “We have a bit of good food aboard. If you guys have a couple of good cooks we could make a big meal of it.”Edmund’s eyebrows rose up. “I’ve never had bun food, but I’ve heard good things about it. I wouldn’t say no to a meal that isn’t something we foraged here mixed with some oats.”I grinned up at the man. “Then we can call it a little party. I love making new friends! And maybe you can tell me about your dryad problem. I haven’t spent all that much time around the tree folk, but I can maybe lend a hand.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-One — You Can See The Forest Because the Trees Are Chopped Down
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-One — You Can See The Forest Because the Trees Are Chopped Down I asked around the Beaver for anyone interested in coming with us. In the end, Steve and Gordon both volunteered to stay aboard the ship, and Clive insisted that no amount of partying was more enjoyable than a few hours spent sleeping in his bunk.So, with the lumberjacks leading the way, Amaryllis, Awen, Bastion and I carried a few platters and plates with us as we headed towards the lumber camp.We didn’t have that much interesting food, just a bit of salty meat and some bread and some meat in glass jars filled with yellowish vinegar. Bastion was carrying a heavy bag full of veggies, and Amaryllis had a box of nuts that rattled with every step.“Hey, Amaryllis?” I asked as I skipped over a bit of rough ground. The area looked nice and hilly from afar, but in reality it was filled with pits and dips in the terrain, with large roots poking out of the ground to snare passing ankles and ruts just waiting for a careless foot to drop into them.It was pretty obvious that the entire area had been a forest not so long ago. That... was kind of disheartening.“What?” Amaryllis asked.I couldn’t tell if she was in a good mood or not. “Why is so much of the food aboard the Beaver seed?”Amaryllis huffed. “Seeds and nuts are a delicacy among us harpies. You ought to just enjoy them without complaint.”“You have bird seed?” I asked.She puffed up. “They’re nuts!”I nodded. “You really are.”It took a moment for the joke to register, but when it did, Amaryllis was quick to toss her box atop Bastion’s back so that she had free arms to swat me with.I giggled as I moved on ahead and skipped over to the lumberjacks to be out of her reach.Edmund served as my shield until Amaryllis calmed down a bit and returned to carrying her precious bird seed.“I’ve got to say, Captain,” Edmund said. “Your crew is mighty unique.”“Thanks,” I said. “They’re all my friends, and great people besides.”He smiled a bit through his beard. “I see. You must live an interesting life, then,” he said.“That’s how you find all the most interesting people.” I said. “Like you guys! How long have you been a lumberjack?”He chuckled. “Hardly that interesting. I’ve been a woodcutter my entire life, as far as I can reckon. Got the class from working with my da’ and started working the saw when I was a teen. Picked up the axe a bit later and just never stopped.”I nodded. “That’s really neat,” I said.He grinned. “Aye. I got my second class the natural way too, by felling half a woods all on my lonesome. Even the World knows that old Edmund’s the best chopper around.”“A natural class?” I asked. “Like... like getting your first class?”“Aye,” he agreed. “Mighty uncommon. Most folk need to venture into a dungeon, but that’s dangerous, and if it isn’t dangerous, then it’s expensive.” He gestured to his buddies. “Most of these meatheads are stuck at ten.”There was some jeering and insults flung at Edmund for his insult, but it was done in the same tone that Amaryllis called me an idiot sometimes. I had the impression that all of these guys really did care about their nominal leader.“That’s too bad,” I said. “You’d think more stronger people would be a good thing.”Edmund shrugged. “Maybe. Some folk would disagree. Lots of power comes with being strong, and I think that some folk would rather not let that power get around.”Having spent a bit of time around nobles recently, I could imagine some of them agreeing to that. “Hmm,” I said. “Maybe.”The ground closer to the camp was a lot more even. Some effort had gone into flattening it and pulling out stumps from the ground. It meant that it was all quite muddy, and soon we could hardly talk on account of the squelching of a dozen boots.Amaryllis grumbled at all the mud clinging to her legs and Bastion beat his wings to hover over the worse of it. Awen scrunched her nose and kept going until, finally, we reached the hard-packed earth of the camp proper.There were about a dozen buildings in the camp, all of them looking to be in decent repair. The lodges, obviously built to act like dorms of sorts, weren’t decorated or anything, but they were clean, and the bigger buildings by the centre seemed almost new.I jumped on the spot a few times to get the worse of the mud off of my shoes, then let my cleaning aura take care of the rest. Amaryllis came to stand next to me, a look in her eyes that said that she wouldn’t ask me to clean her, but that she would appreciate it if I did.“So, Edmund,” I said as I pushed more mana into my aura to make the mud wick off Amaryllis’ feet. “Where do we bring all of this food?”“Ah, right this way, Captain,” he said as he began leading us towards the big building in the centre of the compound. “You’re in luck. We have two representatives of the East Mattergrove Company in, and they brought a small retinue with them.”“Oh?” I asked.He nodded. “They’re here to negotiate with the dryads. Maybe sue for peace.” He sounded a bit... torn on the subject.“Peace is usually a pretty good thing,” I said.“Aye,” he agreed. “But, well, these woods belong to the East Mattergrove Company, not to some walking trees.”I blinked. “When did the company buy the land from the dryads and the others in the woods?” I asked.He looked a bit uncomfortable at that. “It was purchased from the crown.”Amaryllis snorted. “This is an old story,” she said. “Let me guess, the crown never informed the locals that this land belonged to them?”The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“Those aren’t matters for a man like me,” Edmund said.I hummed along while letting my mind wander a bit. It sounded as though maybe Oak and his family were in a spot of trouble. The deforestation around the camp was pretty nasty looking at first glance. I couldn’t imagine tree people being okay with that.“What kind of peace are you looking for?” I asked.Edmund glanced my way. “There are different kinds?”I didn’t get to answer right away since we arrived at the big building and stepped through a set of double doors into a large open room filled with tables and chairs. Posters for products that I didn’t recognize decorated the walls, and there was a board near the door with what looked like a chore list on it.“Kitchens are at the back,” Edmund said with a gesture to the far end of the room. “I bet you girls are a good hand in the kitchen?” he asked with a good-natured smile.I looked at Awen and Amaryllis, neither meeting my eye. “No, none of us can cook well,” I said.“Ah,” Edmund said. He rubbed at the back of his head. “Well, no matter, we’ve got a couple of lads with Cooking, they can figure it out. Just put everything on the counter and find yourselves a seat. Main meal’s usually served at about this time, so the lads who are hungry ought to be coming around.”“Alright!” I said. We reached the front, put our stuff on the counter there, then moved over to the biggest table in the room, one obviously made from a huge trunk cut lengthwise down its middle. “I guess that they have plenty of guys around who know how to work with their wood,” I said.Bastion started to cough halfway through the motion of sitting down. Amaryllis had to pat him on the back. “It’s okay,” she said. “You’ll get used to it.”It only took a minute of sitting around and chatting about nothing before more people started to fill the room. A pair of men rushed back towards the kitchens, and soon there was the sound of pots and pans banging together to fill the awkward silence.We were getting a lot of stares, and I could see some of the younger guys ribbing each other and pointing our way. I guessed that there just weren’t all that many girls around a camp like this one.Edmund left, then returned a bit later, looking like he’d freshened up, and without his big jacket. He rolled up the sleeves of a cotton shirt, then pulled out a seat next to Bastion’s. “We usually have a couple of lads going around serving everyone,” he said.“Ah, did you want us to help with that?” I asked.“What? Oh, no, of course not. That’s not a job for a guest. The folks over at this table get served first. That’s myself and a couple of the older lads usually, the foremen and the blacksmith, but with the big-wigs from Mattergrove here today... well, you’ll have better company than this old lumberjack,” he said.“Nonsense,” Bastion replied. “You’ve been nothing but cordial so far. So, what kind of wood do you source from here?”The boys were soon in a deep discussion about... hafts and handle woods, of all things. Bastion seemed very open. I guessed that maybe his job meant that he had to be quick about making friends too.The room slowly filled with banter and laughter, a few pipes were lit up, giving the air a strange earthy scent, and someone lit up a fire in the hearth to one side. Candles were moved about, casting orange-red glows across every wooden wall, and I found myself relaxing into my seat.A small group of people showed up from a staircase off near the back. They weren’t lumberjacks, that was immediately obvious. The woodcutters were all big hefty men, with beards and, in some cases, mighty fine chins. These new people were all a lot thinner, in suits that had little ascots and with a look about them that reminded me of some people who were camping for the first time.It was probably rude to assume that they were all city people though, so when part of the group came to our table I greeted them with a nice big smile. “Hello!” I said.There were only two aiming to sit at the big table. A bigger, older gentleman who reminded me a bit of Awen’s dad, only a smidge older, and a thirty-something man who was all bones, with a pair of spectacles perched at the end of a long nose.They both paused on seeing us and looked across our little group with obvious, rising confusion and consternation.“My name is Broccoli,” I said.“Ah, right,” Edmund said as he interrupted his conversation with Bastion. “These are sirs Sebastien Faleaf, and Geoffrey Hardnut. Distinguished officers from the East Mattergrove Company.”Geoffrey, the older of the two, pointed at us with a gnarled finger. “Edmund, who are these harlots and where did you find them?”I saw Amaryllis’ passive, neutral expression turn into a beautiful smile, and I started to worry about Mister Geoffrey’s health.“I’m Broccoli,” I said before Amaryllis could fry anyone. “Captain of the Beaver Cleaver. Our airship made an emergency landing just a little ways away.”Geoffrey huffed. “You landed on company property?” he asked.I nodded. “Yup. These are my friends, Bastion Coldfront, a Paladin and royal guard from Sylphfree, Princess Amaryllis Albatross from the Harpy Mountains, and that’s Awen, Awen Bristlecone. I... actually, I don’t know what her title would be.”“Just Lady Bristlecone,” Awen said. “Um, I could become a countess one day, but that’s not really important, I guess.”Geoffrey and Sebastien were looking a pinch pale. “Sit, sit,” I said. “We brought some food from the Beaver to share!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Two — Dine Another Day
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Two — Dine Another Day Mister Sebastien and Mister Geoffrey sat down across from us and remained very silent for a while.It got a bit uncomfortable, awkward, even.“I’m sorry,” I said. It was only nice to extend the first olive branch. “That was sort of rude of me. We’re your guests, and I did the whole rank thing. I mean, it was kinda fun, since I never got to do that before, but still mean.”Edmund coughed into his fist as if to hide a very inappropriate grin.I didn’t have a full picture of how things were going down between him and the company men, but I could feel a bit of tension between the two.Sebastien, the younger of the pair, cleared his throat and spoke up first. “It’s... all well, Captain Bunch. Please forgive Geoffrey and myself. We acted rashly. You are, of course, guests, and deserve all the courtesy that comes with that.”I nodded, a big smiling coming on. Civility was so nice.“Yes,” Amaryllis said with a tone that had me worried. “I imagine that you treat all of your guests with such wonderful hospitality.”I placed a hand on her thigh under the table, a small gesture to tell her not to go too far.She huffed and rolled her eyes. “So,” I asked. “You two don’t look like lumberjacks,” I said. “I can’t imagine there’s all that much busywork to do in a camp like this.”“You’d be surprised,” Edmund said. “We do need to keep track of supplies and the like, not to mention how much lumber’s being shipped down south, and how many goods we need from up north.”That made some sense. “Why do you get things from one direction and send them to another?” I asked.“The river,” he said. “There’s a little river that runs all the way down to Needleford, or at least a little village between us and the city where they can load the lumber up onto wagons to haul down to Needleford. We get most of our supplies from Cherryhold.”Awen perked up. “My family sells a lot of things that end up there,” she said. “It’s closer to ship to Cherryhold than to Needleford. Or, well, it’s faster and safer. Otherwise you need to go the long way around the Seven Peaks.”“Neat,” I said.Geoffrey grumbled something and shifted on his seat. “We’re here on official business,” he said. “Nothing that ought to bother you, ladies.”That... was fair. I probably shouldn’t pry. “So what sort of business?” my mouth asked before I could rein it in. I slapped a hand over it, just in case. “I’m sorry! It’s none of my business.”Edmund snorted. “They’re here to make peace with the dryads,” he said.“Unfortunately,” Sebastien said. “It’s not going as well as it should.”“Did you snub them?” Amaryllis asked rather snobbily.Judging by the quick grimace that crossed Sebastien’s face, the answer to that might have been a resounding yes.“They’re trees!” Geoffrey said. “Trees! No money, no property, no idea of how propriety works.” He smacked the table. “They’ve no king or nation. I’d call them savages, but even savages have some form of society.”Edmund’s expression darkened quite a bit. “And yet they’re beating us at every turn. Ever since they got that leader of theirs.”“I met a really nice dryad once. He was pretty cool. He helped me find some flowers and we fought some monsters together. I don’t know if he had a nation, or a king, but he was a nice person,” I said.“That’s not most folk’s experience with the tree people,” Edmund said. “They can be mighty violent and territorial.”“Well,” I said. “You are encroaching on their territory.”“This territory belongs to the East Mattergrove Company,” Geoffrey said.I had the impression I’d heard that before in a history lesson or two. It didn’t usually end well. “How much did you pay the dryads for it?” I asked.Amaryllis snorted and, to my surprise, Bastion chuffed in withheld laughter.Sebastien, probably sensing that his friend was about to be rude again, waved his hand down before Geoffrey and looked my way. “Captain, you mentioned speaking to the dryad. Did you encounter one that can talk common?”“The killer oak can speak common,” Edmund said. “It’s broken and slow, but it’s mostly understandable.”“Uh,” I said. “No, I’m pretty sure I can speak tree.”“Is he the one you got that spear from?” Amaryllis asked. “The one you carried around for a bit and that you obviously don’t know how to use.”I snapped my fingers. “Oh, I forgot all about that,” I said. “Yeah, Oak gave that to me.”“Oak?” Edmund asked.I nodded. “That’s his name.”The man eyed me for a bit. “Well, I suppose it’s a common enough sort of tree around here,” he said.“If you speak tree...” Sebastien began. “Miss... Captain Bunch, how long do you intend to stay in the area.”“Only until morning,” I said. “We really don’t want to impose.”The man leaned forwards. “I see. We have a bit of a problem right now, and if you could act as translator, I think we could remedy it with far less bloodshed and trouble. I understand if you’re busy, but perhaps the East Mattergrove Company could make it worth your while.”“I, uh, I’m not saying yes or no so soon,” I said. “Could you tell me how things have been going so far?”Edmund raised a hand, finger up in a ‘one moment’ sort of gesture. “Food’s coming. We ought to serve up before getting into the heavier talk.”A glance over to the kitchen showed a couple of the younger guys grabbing some stacked plates and little baskets filled with utensils which they started distributing around the tables. Another group came up bearing some big pots filled with steaming food.As they approached our table, I could make out the scent of boiled... everything. When they came over to our table and started slopping some of the food onto our plates, my suspicions were confirmed. The chefs here just boiled everything together.“Delicious,” Amaryllis said before taking so much as one bite.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.“Awa, it’s... probably not that bad,” Awen said. “Um. I’m sure I couldn’t do better. Probably.”I took a spoonful, blew on it until it was cooler, then nibbled it down. “Hey, this is alright.”“The boys out back don’t know how to make the food look good, but it always tastes just fine,” Edmund said. “And it’s hearty too. This is the kind of warm grub you need after a day’s work.”I took another bite and made agreeable noises around it. There was some meat, which still tasted a bit off, but the veggies and the broth made up for that.Sebastien poked his food a bit before he started to eat, and Geoffrey looked at it with outright disgust before he started to spoon some into his mouth.My friends were far less picky, it seemed. Bastion was chowing through his meal like a soldier, matching some of the lumberjacks for speed and efficiency, and the girls were nibbling away at their meals.“So, Mister Sebastien,” I said. “You were saying about maybe having some work for us?”The man nodded quickly, then dabbed at his mouth with a handkerchief. “Indeed, Captain. We have been trying to meet with the dryads to set up some sort of peaceful accord. We could... solicit aid from the army, but bringing troops here from Mattergrove would be expensive, and seeing as how the dryads are now armed and seem quite capable, a protracted battle in these forests would be incredibly expensive for the East Mattergrove Company.”“Not to mention morally... uh, bad,” I added.“Yes, of course,” Sebastien agreed. “One of the bigger challenges we’re facing now is not only reaching the core of the forest, where the leaders of the dryad stay, but also communicating with them. You seem to have a solution to both.”“That’s nice,” Amaryllis said. “But while we have those solutions, we don’t exactly have much in terms of incentive to assist you.”Sebastien considered that.Personally, I was okay with a bit of a detour. Maybe we could help the dryads out, and Oak too, and then we could find a nice, peaceful solution to everything.“The East Mattergrove Company is not without some financial resources,” Sebastien said.Awen nodded. “They are one of the biggest companies in Mattergrove,” she said. “We used to have a lot of them come to Greenshade because it’s a trade city. They’re probably the richest non-noble group in Mattergrove.”“Richest in one of the poorest countries,” Amaryllis said. “That means they’re a small fish elsewhere.”“Perhaps we could give you a favourable deal on some cargo,” Sebastien said. “Or if your vessel is at capacity already, we could offer you a letter of introduction, perhaps a rebate on some of our wares.”“Do you have fuel for ships?” I asked. “And a place to maintain them?”Sebastien nodded. “We do. The East Mattergrove Company does a lot of shipping between Mattergrove and Deepmarsh by sea and air. We’re the principal traders with our eastern allies.”I looked to my friends for guidance, Awen first, since she knew the company best.“Awa, they’re, um, a company. But we do have something they want, so I think they’ll be fair,” Awen said.“It would take up some of our time,” Amaryllis added.“We’re not in that much of a hurry, though,” I said.Bastion hummed as he gestured for seconds. “The main diplomatic mission is only leaving in a week and a bit. We’re set to arrive quite a bit earlier than they are, even if we make a little detour to assist these fine gentlemen.”“Mister Sebastien, would it be possible to receive a permanent discount on any purchases we make?” Amaryllis asked.The man frowned and looked to his older partner. “I’m not senior enough to make that kind of deal,” he said.“I am,” Geoffrey said. “A permanent discount sounds like a whole lot of trouble.”“Ah, but it’s to fix a problem you’re not competent enough to fix yourself,” Amaryllis said. “I’ll have you know that Captain Bunch here, despite her appearances, is an expert negotiator. Not only would you not have to hire your own negotiator, you’d have transportation to and from a dangerous area, and it’s safe to say that no one on this side of this table is a slouch when it comes to combat. Awen takes after her uncle, Broccoli came in second place at the Rosenbell tournament this year, and I’m an accomplished mage myself. Bastion here is, well, he’s a royal paladin, I’m certain that I don’t need to elucidate on his abilities in combat.”One of Bastion’s brows perked up. I could sympathize, I was wondering what Amaryllis was up too as well.“That’s... quite tempting,” Sebastien said. “Maybe if the sum of the discount is low enough we could make it permanent.”“No more than two percent,” Geoffrey said.“That’s a pittance,” Amaryllis said. “We’d lose more than that dealing with transportation to and from such a backwater. Ten percent.”“Ten! By the king’s beard, are you trying to bankrupt us?” Geoffrey asked. “Three.”“Three? For a tiny, insignificant company run by bureaucrats too incompetent to be hired by the royal family? Seven.”“Five, and I’ll have you know that the crown wishes it had our astute business acumen,” Geoffrey said.Amaryllis hesitated. “Five, and the right extends to anyone in our crew.”“Anyone? Are you mad, you bird?” Geoffrey asked. “We’ll give it to the Captain and the Captain alone.”“Fine, then ten percent, seeing as how any of us would need to go through her as an intermediary anyway.”Geoffrey huffed, then grumbled something under his breath. “Four, and it’s transferable.”“Five, and it can be transferred to any of us,” Amaryllis insisted.The old man nodded. “Five.”I had no idea what just happened, but Amaryllis looked particularly smug, so I decided that it was probably for the best to just push on. “Then it’s decided,” I said as I extended a hand over the table. “Tomorrow morning, when the sun’s up, we’ll see about flying you closer to the dryads. And then I can act as a translator for you, if you want.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Three — Hello Darkwoods, My Old Friend
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Three — Hello Darkwoods, My Old Friend We were up bright and early the next morning to a breakfast of oats and a bit of cut sausage with some boiled veggies on the side.The Beaver’s crew, all gathered in the port dining area, chowed down with alacrity while the rising sun painted orange patterns across the table. I munched and crunched my way through some carrots while occasionally picking up some sausage with my fork and placing it into Awen’s plate.She was a growing girl. She had to eat to become big and strong so that she could give Rosaline some proper hugs.“So,” Bastion asked as he dabbed his lips. “Into the Darkwoods to confront some dryads about lumber rights. Not how I expected this trip to go.”“Ah, well, sorry?” I said. “But that’s how adventures should be. One big detour after another, so that you can grow strong and experience all sorts of new things. But, ah, if you want to stay aboard the Beaver, or even at the camp until we return, I’d understand.”Bastion shook his head. “No, no I don’t think I’d miss this for the world. As I said, it’s not what I expected to be doing, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.”I nodded along and finished my meal while sneaking peeks at Bastion.He was a bit strange, a bit calmer than my other friends, but he was also surprisingly nice. I couldn’t help but feel that that was all it was though-him being nice and polite. He didn’t think of me and the others as friends.Not yet at least.I knew that with a few adventures and some quality time together, we’d break through his tough polite exterior and get to the gooey friendship inside.“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but it’s stupid, so please stop.”“What?” I asked.“Your face. I’ve grown so accustomed to it that I can tell when something dumb is happening behind it. If we’re going to be going on any sort of diplomatic mission this morning, then it might be best if you keep the idiocy on a low simmer.”“That’s a bit mean,” Awen said.“She’s got a tough skin,” Amaryllis said with an airy wave.I pouted at her while stuffing the last spoonful of oats in my mouth. I would have liked to continue, but with breakfast done, it was time for work. “Alright. Anyone want to volunteer for the dishes?” I asked. “We’ll need Steve and Gordon and Clive up top, of course.”“Any amount of hauling rope around to avoid the dishes,” Steve said.“Awa, I’ve never done dishes before,” Awen said. Resolution lit up her eyes. “I’ll try my best.”“And I’ll be as far away from that impending disaster as I can manage,” Amaryllis said.Clive finished his plate, pulled out a pipe from his coat and started to pad some leaves into it. “So where are we going, Captain?”“First, I think we’ll head over to the camp. Pick up the East Mattergrove representatives there,” I said. “Then we’ll head off towards the Darkwoods. I... don’t know how deep into them. Do you think you can manage that kind of flying?”“Bit tricky, but if we stay low enough, we ought to avoid any nasty problems,” Clive said. “The magic above the woods is messy when it comes to navigating. They’ll spin your compass the wrong way round and all, but we’ll be eyeballin’ it anyway.”“I trust in you,” I said as I hopped to my feet. The Beaver’s chairs were all, by necessity, bolted to the floor. Some had magnets on their feet that could click them in place on the studs across the floor, but most were just bolted there. It made it a bit annoying to sit down properly. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.”“Are you implying that we’re a circus?” Amaryllis asked. “Oddly suitable.”Rolling my eyes, I led the charge out the back and onto the deck. The morning air was just shy of cool, and a nice sparkling layer of dew had collected on the rails where they were melting away with the rise of the sun.The wind was just shy of brisk, and the sky completely bare of clouds. “Looks like a nice day for flying,” I said.“Bit of a headwind if we’ll be heading deeper into the woods,” Clive said. “It’ll make travel slow, but escape fast. Might be for the best.”I grinned at him. “Good. That might come in handy. What do you need me to do?”Clive stretched a bit, his knees snapping and cracking with the motion, then he began giving orders to everyone on deck. I jumped to it, doing the best I could. It wouldn’t do to be lazy, especially not while learning how to fly my own ship.The Beaver’s anchors rose, and with a burp and a roar, the ship’s engines came to life. Soon, we rose into the sky once more, though we levelled out less than fifty meters from the ground.Clive stayed at the wheel, gently guiding us over to the lumberjack’s compound just a little ways away.I could see a lot of young men in overalls and checkered shirts standing outside of their shacks and looking up to the Beaver as he came in and slowed down right next to the camp.“Port anchor down!” Clive called.Being the closest to the anchor, I hopped to it and started spinning the crank to lower the heavy metal hook with a series of clangs and rattles as the chain unwound itself.Some of the lumberjacks grabbed the anchor and secured it around the roots of a chopped tree. I pulled the chain taunt, then locked the mechanism with a handy wedge. “We’re anchored!” I called back.“Lowering the ladder,” Amaryllis said as she punted a rope ladder off the side. It smacked against the hull and settled a moment later. “Let’s see if they can make it all the way up,” she said.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.I made sure my outfit was nice and straight, then came to stand by the side of the ladder. It wouldn’t do for anyone to come aboard the Beaver Cleaver without being greeted by its captain. The first to come up was Edmund, the big old lumberjack tugging himself through the gate in the gunwale with no difficulty.“Ma’am,” he said with a nod.“Hello Edmund,” I said. “Welcome aboard.”He grunted, then turned around to look over the edge. “You need help down there?” he asked.I moved over too. Geoffrey and Sebastien were both making their way up, the older of the two nearer the top. He was obviously having a bit of trouble with the ladder. It was swaying, even with a couple of guys at the bottom holding it in place, and he didn’t seem all that strong to being with.There was nothing for it. I considered getting a rope to lasso him around the chest and tug him up, but I couldn’t imagine someone so serious accepting that.Edmund and I helped him over the edge, then Sebastien came up with a bit more alacrity, even though he was carrying a briefcase in one hand.“Welcome aboard,” I said with good cheer.Geoffrey waved at me, then found one of the benches near the rails to sit on and recover. Sebastien was a bit winded too, but not nearly as badly. “Permission to come aboard, Captain?” he asked.I appreciated the formality. Mostly because it sounded so cool. “Granted!”A couple more guys came up, all of them lumberjacks with smaller axes in their belts and heavy coats on their backs. Guards? Or just helpers?“If that’s everyone,” I said. “Then we’ll lift the anchor and head on out. Does anyone here know exactly where we’re heading?”“I do,” Edmund said. “It’ll be a bit strange from the air, but I figure I’ll manage.”“Brilliant,” I said before gesturing to the quarterdeck. “Clive, that’s our pilot, is up there. You might want to join him. And... could I ask one of you gentlemen to help me with the anchor? It’s a bit heavier pulling it up.”“You two, help the misses,” Edmund said as he pointed to two young lads with lots of muscles and sharp chiseled chins.Pulling the anchor up was very sweaty work that unfortunately ended all too quickly.The Beaver turned a bit to face due east, and its engine changed tones as we started to push out ahead. I figured Clive had things in hand for a bit, so I moved over to Sebastien and Geoffrey who were both sitting down.“This ship is quite nice,” Sebastien said. “I’ve never seen a design like this.”“It’s a bit of an experimental one,” I said. “Made by the Owl clan and refurbished by the Albatross. This is actually his maiden voyage.”Sebastien’s eyebrows rose. “How fortuitous.”“Is it meant to be painted in such garish colours?” Geoffrey asked as he gestured around.“Nah, it was a much more boring colour. I’m thinking of painting some things purple, to serve as accents to all the yellow.”We were making good time over the top of the forest. Not moving too fast, but not too slow either. I think I could have out-hopped the Beaver while moving in a straight line if it wasn’t for all the trees below.I saw Edmund pointing off to starboard and the Beaver soon veered off that way, with Clive calling out to deploy some sails on that side.The place Edmund seemed to be directing us towards was a little clearing with a river running through it, covered in boulders and rocks. Maybe calling it a river was an exaggeration, actually. The stream was maybe three meters across, and didn’t look all that deep. The clearing around it hinted that the water would be higher at other times in the year though.At first, I thought it was clear, empty, but then I saw movement and could make out that some of the trees along the banks had bright green leaves and looked a bit out of place, too close to some others and in some cases moving in the wrong direction to account for the wind.“There are dryads down there,” I said.Sebastien spun around and looked down, and I saw some of the lumberjacks tensing up.The Beaver started to fight against the oncoming wind, holding in place with only Clive’s gentle touch preventing us from being blown away. “Lower the anchors!” the harpy called.“Make sure you hit rocks, not trees!” I added. The last thing I wanted was to start any sort of diplomatic meeting by having to say sorry for squashing someone.The anchors came down slowly, with a bit of help from the lumberjacks and soon with the Beaver firmly anchored, we didn’t have to fight against the wind as much and could just rest in place. Clive even lowered the ship a bit more and brought the keep just below the treeline.“I’m going to get my adventuring gear!” I told the others before rushing off to the cabins.When I got to my room, I ditched my captain’s hat and carefully threaded my bun ears through the holes of my trusty adventuring hat.New Skill Acquired: TurtlingRank: FI wasn’t entirely sure what that skill did, but I figured it would help me take a blow. My hat-wearing skill was almost ready to level up, so maybe by then I’d be able to see what the acquired skills did more easily.I grabbed a bandoleer that had a few pouches and a knife, then my trusty spade, and was out to the top once more.The lumberjacks were all gathered by the ladder and my friends were right next to them. Awen had her big repeating crossbow slung over a shoulder, and Amaryllis looked competently bored next to her. Even Bastion was there, testing the fit of his sword in its sheath.“Is everyone ready?” I asked. “Because It’s time to go meet some trees!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Four — Tree Time
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Four — Tree Time I landed with a thump atop a big old rock, my knees bending with the impact and my ears flopping down so fast they tapped my shoulders.Standing up slowly so as to not spook anyone, I took a moment to look all around me. The last thing I wanted was to be ambushed while my friends were still above. Actually, I wouldn’t want to be ambushed even with my friends around.Ambushes were no fun.The nearby stream gurgled and did happy little stream things, and the woods-despite seeming rather dark and foreboding from above-were actually real quaint when on ground level, with big trees as far as the eye could see and the occasional bush and scampering squirrel. It was a bit cool in the shadow of the Beaver but not so much that it was uncomfortable.The only truly worrisome thing was the trees looking at me from within the forest. I could make out maybe six or seven dryads, some half hidden behind trees or boulders, others disguised by bushes.If some of them weren’t moving a little, there was no way I would have noticed them at all. They certainly had an advantage when it came to hiding in a forest.I wondered if this world had a variation on ‘missing the forest for the trees’ and whether it took into account dryads being a thing.The rope ladder smacked the ground a couple of meters away, dragging my attention up to the Beaver where a couple of the lumberjacks looked like they were ready to come down.Not to be outdone, Amaryllis climbed onto the rails, stuck her arms out next to her, and stepped off. She glided down nice and gently for a bit, then landed on top a pile of stones that shifted and clattered beneath her.“Anything interesting around?” she asked as she brushed her feathers straight.“Not really,” I said. “Lots of dryads in the woods, but none have stepped up yet. Is everyone coming down?”“Not everyone, no. We’re supposed to meet with some dryad leader first, then head over to the important trees. A huge waste of time, if you ask me. They’re trees, it’s not like their opinion matters.”I shook my head. “I don’t agree,” I said. “They might be trees, but they’re still people. This is their home. I'm actually kinda glad that they can defend it. It means that we need to take them as seriously as they deserve.”“Well, whatever,” Amaryllis said. “That five percent discount on goods, even if just applied to wood and lumber, will be worth any number of talking trees.”I rolled my eyes, making sure that Amaryllis could see it, because what was the point of rolling your eyes otherwise? “We should go say hi to the nice dryads before the lumberjacks and company guys get down here. I have the impression that they’re not the best of friends.”“You think?” Amaryllis asked.I made sure to bump shoulders with her as I passed by. “Come on, let’s go talk to some nice trees,” I said.We approached the stream, across from which I could see the largest number of dryads gathered behind a small pile of rocks and a few tightly knit trees. “How do we call them over?” Amaryllis asked.“We could go to them?”My harpy friend hummed. “I don’t know. It’d feel safer to meet halfway.”That was fair. And if they didn’t want to, then I’d go and meet them myself. Sometimes, to make new friends, you just had to put yourself out there a little. “Hello dryads!” I called out.Amaryllis’ head snapped around to stare at me. “Are you okay?”“Huh?”“You sounded like someone just hit you in the chest,” she said.I patted my chest, still covered in intact armour, then looked back up to her. “No? I’m fine. I was just calling out to the dryads.”“That was their language then?” she asked.“How did it sound like?” I wondered.“Like someone wheezing. I’ve heard old birds who smoked pipes their whole lives speak more clearly,” she said.Shrugging, I turned back to the woods. “It doesn’t seem to have worked,” I said. Cupping my hands over my mouth, I tried again. “Hey there! My name is Broccoli, and I’m a friend! We want to speak with you, please!”The trees rustled, and some of the dryads that may have thought they were hidden tucked themselves behind some trees and bushes in a hurry. The gesture was somehow very innocent and child-like. Were they young dryads? They were certainly smaller than Oak had been. Very cute! I approved wholeheartedly of little tree people. The only problem was that with bark-like faces it would be hard to pinch their cheeks.Movement from nearby had me turning just in time to see a bush split apart and a pair of large dryads move out from hiding. They had been surprisingly close the entire time.One was shorter than the other, with a curvier body and a distinctly willowy look. The dryad had long, braided branches atop its head that fell down in a long cascade along its back. I was tempted to call it a ‘her.’ She was definitely very feminine, with a few flowers in her ‘hair’ and an outfit of sorts made of woven leaves.The other, larger dryad was...“Oak!”Amaryllis eyed Oak, then me. “This is that dryad you know?” she asked.I nodded as Oak stepped up and placed the butt of his spear onto the ground next to him. He was a bit bigger than I remembered, with a few more scars along his tough bark-y skin. He was wearing a sort of toga made of woven leaves, with bits of wood placed along it. Armour of sorts?“Sister... Broccoli?” Oak said.“Hey!” I cheered before bouncing across the stream. A few of the dryads flinched at the motion, and I saw bows and spears rise, but no one did anything rash as I crashed into Oak and gave him a big hug. “Oak!”Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.Oak didn’t so much as step back from the force of my hug. “Sister Broccoli,” he said before he started to pat me on the head. “Ears?”“Yup!” I said. “I grew ears since last we met. Do you think they’re cute?”Oak looked at them very carefully, and seemed to ponder his words. “Growing is... good.”I felt my cheeks warming up, and I stepped back from Oak. “Thanks! I kinda like them.” I clapped my hands. “Oh, you need to meet my friends. And I need to hear everything that happened to you. And who’s this willow dryad? Is she a girl-dryad... is she your girlfriend?”Oak let out a long sigh, but it sounded like a happy sigh. “Still talk fast,” he said.I couldn’t help but giggle. “Sorry! I just have lots to say.”“Hello, Sister Broccoli,” the dryad next to Oak said. She had a big smile on, and a bunch of flower bulbs in her outfit started to open up to reveal all sorts of pretty flowers. “I’m Wisp.”“Hi Wisp!” I said before opening my arms wide in the optimal hugging position. “Can I hug you too?”“Yes!” Wisp said.I wanted to be careful not to squish her flowers, but Wisp didn’t seem to care at all and gave me a tight squeeze. “Whoa, you’re strong!” I said as I let go of her.Wisp let out a breezy laugh. “Yes.”“So, are you a boy dryad or a girl dryad? You’re very pretty,” I said.Wisp seemed to think on it for a moment. “I’m Willow,” The dryad said. “Girl, but mostly tree.”“That’s so cool!” I said. “Are you the ones that we’re supposed to meet here today?” I asked.Oak seemed to hesitate before nodding. “Meeting with the Destroyer,” he said. “Peace instead of war. And no more cutting of brethren.”That sobered the mood up a little. A glance over my shoulder revealed that not everyone was down yet. Awen had joined Amaryllis on the shore though, and they both looked nervous in their own way. “Do you want to meet my friends?” I asked. “We’re here to help make things better.”“Sister Broccoli will help?” he asked.“Yeah, of course.”“You already helped much. Weapons to fight the tree-cutters.” He raised his spear.It took me a moment to add things together in my head and realize that somewhere along the way, I may have maybe made a little mistake. “L-let’s talk about that in a bit,” I said.“New weapons?” Oak asked.“Ah-haha, not quite,” I said. “Did your littler friends want to come out too?”Oak shook his head. “They stay here. For protection. Wisp can come.” He gestured to the willow dryad.“Alright.” I gestured to Amaryllis and Awen. “Come on, I’ll show you to my best friends, and maybe later we can check out the Beaver together?”“Beaver?” Oak repeated.“That’s my ship!”He looked up to the ship, a frown growing across his brow. “So much wood. So many brothers. But... to fly.”“Flying is pretty cool,” I said. “Maybe Amaryllis can show you how to make a glider or something. It wouldn’t be flying-flying, but it would be pretty close. And I bet there are magics that could help.”The thought of flying trees was too amusing not to imagine.Oak nodded very seriously. “I will learn,” he said. Then, with a sweeping gesture, roots speared out of the ground beneath us and arched over the stream before planting themselves in the cracks and crevices in the rocks opposite. Soon enough, there was a nice bridge spanning the running water.“Neat!” I said as I skipped over the bridge to my waiting friends. “Guys! It turns out I know this dryad.”Amaryllis seemed completely unphased, which was somehow a little disappointing. “Of course you do. Will you be adding some trees to the crew next?”“I was just thinking that!” I said.She whapped my head with a wing. “You idiot, I was being facetious. We’re not going to have an airship crewed by trees of all things.”“But it would be so cool,” I said.“Um.” Awen said. “It would be pretty, ah, neat?”Amaryllis tossed her wings up and stepped past me to greet Oak and Wisp. “Hello,” she said.I turned to find Oak looking at Amaryllis with his brows furrowed. “You... hit Sister Broccoli,” he said.Amaryllis nodded. “She was being an idiot.”He seemed to consider this, then nodded as if it made perfect sense.“Hey!” I protested. Huffing, I jumped over to the two and stationed myself next to them. “I didn’t know you could talk, uh, human-ish, Oak.”The dryad nodded. “Have learned. For... communicating.”“I’m impressed,” I said while giving him a thumbs up. “So, this is Amaryllis, my best friend. And this over here.” I reached out and pulled Awen closer. She came, then gave the two dryads a shy little wave. “Is my best friend Awen.”“This one flies?” he asked while gesturing to Amaryllis.Wisp stepped up to her, and very carefully reached out a branching hand to touch her wings. “Nice,” Wisp said.“She can glide a bit. Like a chicken.”Amaryllis poked my side, right under where my breastplate ended. “I understood that,” she said. “You’re still speaking common.”“Oof,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’d never insult you without you being able to understand.”She poked me again.Oak’s wooden face carefully twisted into a small smile. “Sister Broccoli still makes friends,” he said.Grinning back, I nodded. “Yup! I’m glad to see that you’re well, Oak. I was a bit worried for a bit when I heard that there was trouble with dryads around here.”“Lots of trouble,” Wisp agreed. “Oak caused much of it.”“Oh?” I asked. “Well, that sounds like there’s a story behind it. Do you think you can tell us what’s going on? Before we need to meet with the others? If we’re going to help, it’d be nice if we were all on the same page.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Five — Negotreeations
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Five — Negotreeations “It started a long time ago,” Oak began.Then he paused for entirely too long.“Um,” I said.“Yes. Many years ago, when I was a sapling. The Destroyers came. They cut down our brethren. Then I learned of weapons. Now we fight back.” The dryad sighed, as if that had taken a lot of him.“Oh,” I said for a lack of anything else to say. We all kind of just stood there, the awkward silence partially drowned by the gurgling of the stream and birdsong from the forest.Wisp whapped Oak. “You’re being too rigid,” she said before turning back to us. “We lost a lot of our forest. It started many years ago, and the elders thought it would stop, because it had before. Sometimes people took some trees, but they only took so many. Now they kill more and more trees, without stopping. The elders didn’t want to do anything, not even when Oak wanted to try. So he did, and now the cutting has stopped.”I didn’t know how to feel, exactly. That was a bit strange, really, usually I didn’t have any difficulty feeling things. But in this case, should I be sad that the dryad’s home was being cut apart, or happy that they stopped it?I decided on happy, on account that being happy for a friend’s success was never the wrong move.“Good work!” I said as I hugged Oak as tight as I could.“Thank you,” Oak said.“So what are you doing with this situation?” Amaryllis asked. “I doubt that the East Mattergrove Company will just step aside and lose one of their better sources of income.”Oak’s face carefully set into a very serious, and very handsome, scowl. “Then we continue to fight.”“Oh no,” I said. “That’s awful. I’m sure we can figure something out.”“Figure it out quickly then,” Amaryllis said as she glanced to the side. The lumberjacks were all down, as were Sebastien and Geoffrey, and they were all looking our way.“Right,” I said. “You arranged this meeting, Oak?”“It was... both arranged,” he said.I took that to mean that both sides had agreed to a ceasefire and discussion. That was probably for the best. If everyone wanted to talk things out, then the chances of a peaceful resolution being reached were pretty good. This wasn’t one side forcing the other to the table.“Are we having the discussion here?” I asked.“It’s either here or aboard your vessel,” Sebastien said as he approached. “Which, frankly, would be quite annoying to climb back into after we took the effort to come down.”I laughed and nodded. “That’s fair. Maybe we can bring some chairs down?”Oak stirred. “I will make them.” He raised a hand, and from between the rocks beneath us came little roots and branches that wove themselves together, forming first one chair, then two, then three, all of them around an open, roughly oval space.Oak lowered his arm, and Wisp took up the slack, pushing more roots through the ground and forming a big table in the centre of the circle. It was a nice table. A bit crooked, and so low that we’d risk banging our shins against it, but it was definitely a table. “This is how tables work,” she said with the certainty of someone that had never seen a table before.I plopped myself down on one of the seats after tucking my skirt down. It was a bit rough, and could have used a cushion, but all in all it was certainly a chair.Amaryllis and Awen and Bastion sat down next, then Sebastien and Geoffrey and finally Edmund, leaving a few seats empty at the far end of the table. Oak and Wisp looked a bit awkward sitting down, because that wasn’t a thing trees were known for, but they managed!Oak hadn’t made enough seats for everyone, but the lumberjacks didn’t seem keen on sitting down anyway. They instead moved over a ways and stood around, talking in low voices and staring off into the woods.No one said anything for a bit, so I decided to kick things off. “Alright, from what I understood, you guys both want the same thing, and of course, you can’t both have it. On Oak and the dryads’ side, you want the forest to be left alone. And on the side of the East Mattergrove Company wants the forest to chop it down.”“We wish to exploit the land that we have rights to,” Geoffrey said. “I have a copy of the deed, signed by the previous monarch himself, as proof.”“Right,” I said. “So before we get into the nitty gritty, we should probably make sure everyone’s on the same, um, wavelength.”“What’s a wavelength?” Awen asked.“I mean, on the same page.” I gestured to Oak and Wisp. “When you guys talk about the forest, you mean all of the Darkwoods, right?”“Yes?” Oak said. He didn’t sound entirely sure, but that was good enough for me.“And the East Mattergrove Company. Surely you have an idea of where your, um, thing stops?”“Our exploitation rights stop on the far side of the forest,” Sebastien said.“Wait,” Amaryllis said. “That’s very much in Deepmarsh territory. I don’t know exactly where the borders are, but you’ll end up stumbling right into a grenoil patrol who might take your cutting down of the entire woods about as well as the dryads, only Deepmarsh has a proper army, one that makes Mattergrove look like children playing with sticks.”“Awa, Amaryllis is right,” Awen said. “You can’t go all the way to Deepmarsh. The borders of Mattergrove stop to the west of the Darkwoods, Deepmarsh’s border stops on the east.”“So the woods act as a sort of natural border?” I asked.Awen nodded. “Yes. It’s probably okay to take lumber from the edges, because it still keeps the border intact, but if they start going too deep, they’ll run into Deepmarsh roads and infrastructure.”“Like Rockstack?”“Is that an outpost?” Awen asked.I nodded. “I can’t remember its official name. But it had a nice inn, and a stack of rocks in the middle. So they call it Rockstack.”The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.“I think we might be going off topic,” Amaryllis said. “Let’s just touch on all of the obvious solutions first. Mister Oak, you made this table. Could you make lumber in the form that these guys want?”Oak titled his head. “I can make this much.” He gestured to the chair. “And a little more.”Amaryllis tapped her chin. “That seems... about as much as... one one-hundredth of a tree in terms of pure mass alone. From one dryad. There are about a dozen here, probably more of them around... hmm.”“We’ve considered that,” Sebastien said. “Even if there were twice as many dryads as we think there are, they still couldn't make enough lumber to out-produce the mill.”“Not to mention that would be me and my boys out of work, miss,” Edmund said.Amaryllis nodded. “I’m just exploring the obvious solutions. Maybe some of the dryads could supplement your gathering operations to an extent. It would cut down on the number of trees you need to... well, cut down.”“What about bringing trees that were cut down back?” I asked. “Could you heal them from the stump up?” I asked Oak.The dryad thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “If the tree brother still lives. We can heal it back.”“Then they could cut down some trees while your bring others back, and you could like, rotate it, maybe?”Oak’s face scrunched up, but it was Wisp who answered. “That would be hurting a tree again and again,” she said.“Ah,” I said. That wasn’t a much better solution.I think that Oak noticed that we were about to run into a wall of sorts because he raised a hand and carefully set it onto the table. “There are trees that can be cut,” he said.Wisp looked at him weird.Oak continued. “Old trees. Sick trees. Trees that grow in bad places. We could lead the cutters to these. That would be... possible.”“I don’t think that would cover the company’s needs,” Sebastien said.“It would be some,” Oak said.“We could help regrow some trees too,” Wisp said. “Even if that means being cut again and again. We could help them grow with more branches for cutting.”“That would seriously cut into our margins,” Sebastien said.“How would those margins react if the Dryads continue to fight you and you begin to lose men?” Amaryllis asked. “Or do you not care enough about them for it to matter?”The lumberjacks were looking at the company representatives now, who both shifted on their seats. “Well, the shareholders won’t like it,” Sebastien said.“You could just tell us who those are,” Edmund said. “I’m sure we could explain things.”“So!” I said to try and clear the air. It was too nice a day to be bogged down by bad feelings. “We have three solutions. The dryad could make some wood, maybe they could even directly make some furniture and planks and the like. They can also show you to some trees that can be cut down here and there. And finally, they can help regrow some of the cut down forest with trees that are shaped to be better for you guys,” I said. “And in exchange... well, I guess you’d have to pay the dryads a bit, and you’d need to cut down fewer trees.”Geoffrey harrumphed. “None of that would keep our production as high, and we still own the rights over this land,” he said.I frowned for a bit. They did, kinda, own those rights. But the legitimacy of that was very much up to debate. Which... actually gave me an idea. I smacked the table and grinned. “I know!” I said.“Sister Broccoli?” Oak asked.“We’ll help you, or the elder dryad, ask for the rights over the Darkwoods,” I said.“We already have those rights,” Geoffrey said.“Ah, but did you ask the grenoil for them?” I asked. “I’m sure we could help the dryad get the rights over their own lands officially recognized in Deepmarsh.”Geoffrey looked both flabbergasted and downright indignant. Oak didn’t seem to get what was going on and... and Amaryllis started cackling.“You can’t do that,” Geoffrey said.“We can ask Booksie to help,” I said. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, and I bet she knows who to ask better than we do.”Amaryllis started laughing even harder, with the occasional hoot and whistle breaking out where a human might snort. “Oh, oh, I bet Rhawrexdee would jump on that opportunity. A small nation right under his nesting ground. He could, he could make Booksie one of the regents.”“Oh my,” Awen said.“It’s a solution,” I said. “And it wouldn’t stop the dryads from working with the company.”“But we’d lose a lot here, Captain,” Sebastein said. “I thought you were here to assist us.”“Um, no, I’m here to make things fair. And your bottom line is the least important thing here, so it’s normal that it’s the one that should be sacrificed first to make everything okay.”“I don’t understand, Sister Broccoli,” Oak said.I smiled over at my tree friend. “It’s simple, sorta. See, the East Mattergrove Company has the rights to exploit these woods, but Mattergrove only kinda controls this area. So if you approach Deepmarsh and ask them for help, maybe through one of my friends, Booksie, then you could get them to say that you own this land.”“It is ours,” Oak said.“This would make it official,” I said. “And on top of that, you could also help the company by providing wood, like this table, and by doing the things you and Wisp mentioned. It means the company would be cutting fewer trees, and making less money, but it means less people fighting, and it’s a lot more fair.”Oak looked to Wisp, who seemed blissfully happy. “Okay. I trust Sister Broccoli,” he said. “We will need to explain this to the elders.”I hopped to my feet. “Then we should get to that,” I said. “I’m sure all of this kerfuffle can be solved in a way that will make everyone happy.”“But not our bottom line,” Sebastien said.“A bottom line isn’t someone,” I said.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Six — Diplomatree II: Treety Harder
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Six — Diplomatree II: Treety Harder “So,” I started. “Are we going to create a contract, or is this more of an informal thing?” I asked.“Contract?” Oak asked.Of course, trees didn’t normally do contracts.“This can remain informal,” Geoffrey said.Amaryllis immediately shook her head. “No, no it cannot. We will need a contract, one witnessed by everyone here. I would even insist on getting multiple copies so that a few can be sent to certain key people that aren’t at this meeting.”“What is a contract?” Wisp asked.“Um, a contract is like when two people agree to do something. You write it down, so that both sides understand it. It’s also binding. So if one side breaks the contract, then the other side can show people and hold them accountable.”“I agree to things a lot,” Wisp said.I giggled. “That’s a verbal contract. Like, um, I’d enter a contract about giving my friends hugs every day, no problem, and if one day I forget, then that’s probably okay? But a written contract makes it a lot more serious and stuff.”Wisp tilted her head to one side, then the other. “Okay.”“If we’re going to make a proper contract, we’ll need to have it signed by the leaders of the dryads,” Amaryllis said.“No leaders,” Oak said.“Not true,” Wisp disagreed right away. “Oak is our leader.”One of Amaryllis’ eyebrows perked up. “That will need some explaining,” she said.Sebastien and Geoffrey looked to each other, but I couldn’t quite read their expressions.“The elder trees are... not leaders,” Oak said. “They are... wise and old, and know many things. But they are not leaders. They tell some what to do, but you don’t need to listen. I’m not a leader either.”“Oak is a leader,” Wisp said. “We listen to him, and he leads us. That’s all that matters, right?”I looked over to the side, where the younger dryads were now freely congregating by the water. They seemed to be having fun dipping their roots in the stream and occasionally making a few little splashes.I could very easily imagine Oak leading them, he seemed much bigger and more mature. He was a lot more handsome with his sculpted chest and sharp chin. Maybe I could get him to wear a big red cape. Maybe some tights.Amaryllis poked me. “Were you listening?”“Huh? No, not really,” I said.“Go get some paper, you moron. And a few pens. There are some in my cabin, by that desk.”I nodded quickly. “Yup, I can do that. I’ll be right back!”“If you don’t mind, I’ll accompany you,” Bastion said as he stood up.Moving over towards the Beaver, I found a spot atop a flat-ish rock, bunched my legs up under me, then shot up into the air with a burst of stamina. My aim was a bit off, so I had to reach a foot way out to place it on the edge of the rail, then my arms windmilled a few times before I found my balance. Bastion, the lucky sylph that he was, just flew up and landed before me.“Need a hand?” Bastion asked as he extended his towards me.I grinned and grabbed onto him to help myself up onto the deck .”Thanks,” I said. “Have you been enjoying the negotiations?”“More or less,” he said. “I’ll be keeping an eye out on things down below. Just in case things took a turn for the worse.”I patted down my skirt. “That’s kind of you,” I said.“It’s my job,” he replied.“It’s still nice of you, regardless,” I said. “And I have the impression that you’d go out on a limb to help someone, even if it wasn’t part of your job. That’s a great quality for a friend to have, you know?”“Thank you,” he said. “Do you need help?”I shook my head, then thought better of it and nodded. Changing from a shake to a nod was kind of annoying with big ears. They started by flapping from side to side, then when you switch to nodding, they’d end up going in little circles that tickled a bunch. “I don’t need the help, but I could use the company,” I said.“Certainly,” he agreed.We made our way down into the back of the ship. “So, did you understand what’s happening?”“Contracts and diplomacy aren’t my specialties, but I can make some educated guesses. It sounds as though you pushed for more of a victory for the dryads than the company.”“A company isn’t a person,” I said. “You can’t be friends with something like an organization, and in this case, they were hurting a lot of people by exploiting them. I don’t think they actually saw that they were hurting anyone. And besides, we found a way for them to keep working. They just won’t be making as much.”“They might not appreciate that, or follow through,” he warned.“That’s true,” I said. “Which is why we need to keep an eye on them, make sure everyone acts nice. We’ll be making a contract, and we’ll be sending it to a few friends to make sure that it’s nice and respected.”“You have some powerful friends then?” Bastion asked.I shrugged. “A couple? Mostly we’ll be sending a copy to Booksie in Port Royal. Her boyfriend’s a dragon.”Bastion stopped mid-step. “A figurative dragon?”“No? He’s pretty literal,” I said. “Very big, blue. Likes lightning and poetry.”“Do you have any idea how illegal working with dragons is?” he asked.I shook my head. “No, not really. Is it illegal in Deepmarsh?”“Well, no,” he said.I slipped into Amaryllis room and started looking for pen and paper. “In that case I think we’re alright,” I said. “And besides, we never did anything morally wrong.”“You spoke with a dragon, some could argue that that’s morally wrong.”“Well, then they would be wrong. Speaking to someone, and getting to know them, is never the wrong thing to do,” I said. “Not if it means that you can learn to get along with them better.”This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“And yet no one has ever successfully negotiated with a dragon before,” Bastion said.I paused in my search to give him a look. “I have. It was... well, not easy, but doable. And I’m pretty much the farthest thing there is to a proper diplomat.”Bastion blinked. “You did?”“Yeah, over in Rosenbell. I’ll tell you about it sometime.” I raised a pen from where I’d found it in a drawer and wiggled it about victoriously. I didn’t find any loose-leaf, but there was a nice big sketchpad with pages that were easy to tear out, so I figured that would work as long as everyone had neat handwriting. Lined paper didn’t seem to be a thing on Dirt, yet.“I would encourage you to perhaps keep that to yourself,” Bastion said. “At least if you’re around other sylphs.”“Why’s that?” I asked.He seemed uncomfortable for a moment. “My work as a paladin has me moving to different communities, including out of the Sylphfree mountains, and into other nations. I’d like to think that I’ve grown used to different perspectives. But it’s hard. Our nation is rather isolationist at the best of times.”“That’s not good,” I said. “It means you lose all these opportunities to make long, lasting friendships.”“I don’t think we want friends so much as we want safety,” he said.I frowned at the floor. “I guess that makes sense. Becoming friends with someone means putting yourself at risk, but I always felt that it was worth it, even if most of the time it doesn’t work out.” I shook my head. “Come on, we need to go make a contract to keep the peace.”“Just to keep the peace?” he asked.“No, not just that. This will have the dryads working with the humans of Mattergrove, and talking with the grenoil of Deepmarsh. If they’re all cooperative, then maybe things will be better for all of them. But I can’t take credit for that, it’s just how things work out sometimes.”Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Matchmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!“Huh,” I said. “I got a rank up.”“Really?” Bastion asked. “May I inquire about which skill?”“Matchmaking, it’s one of my general skills,” I said. “Weird.” Maybe diplomacy counted as Matchmaking, but on a national level? It’d be neat to see that skill hit rank C.Bastion shook his head. “I have to admit, I expected your crew to be interesting, but I may have underestimated just how interesting you would all turn out to be.”“That’s just how we roll,” I said.“Roll?” Bastion asked.Instead of answering, I skipped back up onto the deck and eyed the table below. No one had resorted to punching each other while I was gone, so that was nice. Though it seemed as if tempers were rising. Amaryllis and Geoffrey were gesturing a lot and talking at the same time, and the dryads seemed a bit lost.I stepped off the side of the Beaver and landed with a ‘hup’ next to my seat. “I have everything,” I said. “What are we arguing about?”“This greedy human thinks that he somehow has the right to do as he pleases. It’s as if he doesn’t understand that his nation is the weakest around, and only suffered to continue existing on account of how little they matter,” Amaryllis said.“You can’t look down upon the ingenuity and power of humanity that way,” Geoffrey said. “Mattergrove may be weak, but it’s only because of interference like this whole charade today.”“Oh please,” Amaryllis said. “We didn’t follow the stench of your blatant hypocrisy when we flew here.”“Okay, okay everyone,” I said as I tried to wave both of them down. “I don’t know what started this.” I wiggled a finger at Amaryllis when she looked ready to tell me just that in great detail. “And it doesn’t really matter. Look, we want what’s best for everyone, but that won’t work out, it can’t, not when what’s best for one hurts someone else. So we’ll just have to compromise and everyone will leave just a little bit unhappy.”“We’re the ones losing the most here,” Geoffrey said. “And the Dryads are coming away with the most in turn.”I felt my ears drooping and my brows knitting together. “How many workers died to the dryads in the last year?” I asked. “How many were injured?”“Thirty-two injuries,” Edmund said. “Myself included. Some of them fairly bad. Mostly healed up now. No deaths, thank all the gods.”I turned to Oak and Wisp. “How many dryads died in that same time? Between now and last fall?”Oak looked down. “Many little ones were cut down,” he said. “The older ones ran. The elders weren’t touched.”I turned to Geoffrey. “I’m sorry mister Hardnut, but no matter how I look at it, I don’t think you’re in the right here. We tried to find a nice compromise here. If you won’t take it, then, well, then I don’t know, but I don’t leave friends behind if that means leaving them in trouble.” I placed the stack of blank pages onto the table, then slapped a couple of pens atop that. “Let’s do this, please?”Everyone at the table seemed to consider it for a moment. I wasn’t sure if I’d said something wrong or not. Then Sebastien sighed. “If we’re going to use the terms we highlighted before, then I’m willing to sign on behalf of the East Mattergrove Company.”“Shouldn’t we discuss this?” Geoffrey asked.“Frankly, no. I think that Captain Bunch is right. The terms are fair to us, or as fair as they can be while not injuring the other party. I think if we push any more then we’ll find ourselves in a worse position from which to negotiate later.”Amaryllis nodded. “We’ll need someone to sign on behalf of Mattergrove, I think. I’ll admit that I’m not entirely familiar with the relevant laws.”“Awa, I can sign as a noble,” Awen said. “We’ll need witnesses, but, um, Broccoli and Amaryllis should do?”I grinned, a weight lifting off my shoulder. Things seemed to be working out, at least.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Peace For Our Time
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Peace For Our Time Oak’s signature was a bit wobbly, as was Wisp’s, but they seemed perfectly readable, especially since it was the first time either one ever wrote something.Once the last signature was on the contract and Sebastien did a little magic to copy the contract onto a few other pages for distribution, the tension that had been filling the air evaporated like air squeaking out of a balloon.“It’s done,” I said.Oak nodded. “No more fighting,” he said.We all knew that we couldn’t stay around for all that long, but we still took some time to shake hands and chat. Some of the younger dryads, probably sensing that things had calmed down, came out of the woods and poked at the lumberjacks like puppies meeting someone new.I took Oak and Wisp and stepped aside a little, not so much for the privacy-there really wasn’t much of that since we were all outside-but to be in a spot where interruptions wouldn’t be as common. “What do you think?” I asked.Oak took his time in answering. “I think. This is good.”I nodded. “I really hope it is,” I said. “We’ll be sending a copy of the contract to a friend of mine. They might be able to help if things go sideways, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.”The big dryad nodded. “I will tell the elders of this. Thank you, sister Broccoli.”I grinned. “No problem! You’re a friend, Oak, even if we haven’t spent all that much time together.”The tree paused for a moment, then placed one of his hands on my head over my helmet and started rubbing small circles.“Um. What are you doing?” I asked.Wisp was the one to reply. “Humans do this to the smaller things they like,” she explained.Was he petting me?“Uh, thanks,” I said. “I... guess we’ll be going in a bit.”Oak stopped rubbing my head. “When you come back, you will be welcome,’ he said.“Thanks,” I said. “Hey, did you want to check out my Beaver?” I pointed over my shoulder with a thumb. The airship above us was swaying gently in the breeze slipping above the forest.“No,” Oak said. “Too much to do.”I didn’t quite know what to say, so I filled the gap with hugs. First a big glomping hug for Oak, who returned it with more patting to the top of my head-which was really quite rude, but I could set that aside for now-then a big tight hug for Wisp.“You know, if you guys want, there’s always room in our party for more,” I said. “I’m sure the girls wouldn’t mind a dryad or two with us on our adventures.”Oak shook his head right away, and Wisp did the same after thinking about it for just a second. “No,” Oak said. “This is home. Leaving would be... wrong.”I couldn’t do anything about that. “Well, the offer’s always on the table if you want it,” I said. “Maybe you could learn how to read and write. I bet the dryads could make great paper and such. We could write to each other!”Oak tilted his head. “If sister Broccoli thinks so,” he agreed.We said our goodbyes again, mostly because I was a little reluctant to just go, then I moved back over to my friends. The lumberjacks were boarding the Beaver already, and even Geoffrey was panting halfway up the ladder.“Ready to go?” Amaryllis asked. “At this rate it will be mid-day before we’re heading out to Needleford.”“Yeah, I think I’m ready,” I said as I set my hands on my hips and looked around one last time. The woods were nice and peaceful, probably on account of all the racket we’d made so far. It was easy to forget that this place was called the Darkwoods. “Let’s head out,” I said.“Awa, are you going to carry us up?” Awen asked.I grinned. “If you want,” I said.“I do not,” Amaryllis said. “I won’t be seen being carried by anyone.”“Uh, just Awen then?” I asked. Awen shrugged, so I scooped her up in a princess carry and bounded up onto the deck.“S-so, um, Broccoli,” Awen began as I set her down. She lingered by my side for just a moment. “Mister Oak, is he, your, um, type?”I laughed aloud. “I guess?” I said. “I mean, he’s got a nice chin, and did you see his abs?”“Um,” Awen said. She was all red and cute. “I did. He’s, uh, not my type though,” she said.“What about Wisp, she was cute,” I said.Awen’s face twisted in undisguised confusion. “She’s a tree,” she said while her hands wiggled through the air. “That would be a bit weird.”“I mean, you’re sorta-dating a bird,” I said.“Awa! It’s not dating, not... ah... yet?” Awen said. “We, we’re just friends.”“Friends who kiss?” I asked.Awen swayed, her face very very red. “I... I need to go do some maintenance,” she said before running off.I felt a little bad for bullying her a bit, but I was also holding back giggles. Was I teasing her too much? I’d make it up to her later! I set that aside while I helped the last of the lumberjacks and Amaryllis climb up onto the deck. Then we rolled up the ladder, yanked the anchors up, and Clive angled our bow over the horizon and the Beaver Cleaver took off into a big sweeping circle back towards the western end of the Deepwoods.I approached Edmund and the two Mattergrove East representatives. “That went well,” I said.The representatives looked a bit uncertain about that, but Edmund nodded. “Aye, it did,” he said.“Not having to worry about getting an arrow in my knee while doing my job will be a nice change. And I think we’ll manage with the new work just fine. It’s not that much different than what we’re doing.”This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.“Great!” I said. “I’ll be sure to follow up and see if things work out.” A glance to the side revealed the forest moving by at a good clip. With the wind now at our backs the Beaver was really speeding up. “We should be back near your compound in a little bit.”“Oh, right,” Sebastien said. “Do you have a place where I could write some things down? I need to give you your contract and vouchers. You can redeem those at our Needleford branch, if that’s where you’re heading next.”“That would be great,” I said. Amaryllis would be real happy too. I made a note to have her look things over before the men left. Not that I didn’t trust them, but I figured Amaryllis would be all pouty if I didn’t tell her. “Do you want to follow me? We can use the captain’s quarters. I don’t use them all that much myself.”“Certainly,” Sebastien said.The trip back to the compound was a little strange. Not the flight, that was perfectly ordinary, with the ship swaying gently along and bobbing with the occasional shift in the wind. What was strange was...Actually, I wasn’t entirely sure.Maybe I felt weird because I had been expecting more from our little side-quest. To fight some big monster, or uncover some big secret, but things had gone rather well, and there was nothing like that to worry about.Maybe I shouldn’t have that kind of attitude. After all, things going well was hardly something to complain about. I was sure the next adventure would be a whole lot more adventure-like. I found myself frowning at the ceiling.“Captain?” Sebastien asked.“Hmm?” I replied, turning my attention back down to where the man was scratching away at some parchment. “Sorry, what was that?”“You looked angry?” he tried.“Oh, no no, I’m not angry. I’m just wondering if I just jinxed myself.”“Jinxed?” he asked. “I’m not familiar with the term.”I waved it off. “It’s not important,” I said. “So can you tell me anything about Needleford? I’ve never been.”He nodded, finished writing a line with a flourish, then set his plume aside. “Needleford is a fairly young settlement, as far as those things go. Maybe a hundred years old? It started as a fishing village, then grew into a proper port between Mattergrove’s capital, Port Hazel, and some of the Deepmarsh ports.”“So it’s a trading place?” I asked.He wiggled his hand in a so-so gesture. “It might have been, with a side of fishing, but now it’s a proper city. It’s not as big or impressive as Port Hazel, but it is a little newer, and far more organized. The city is run by a council of mixed nobles and merchants.”“I look forward to stopping by, then,” I said.He smiled. “Try the fish pie. It’s a little strange at first, but it grows on you. There’re a lot of food stalls near the docks. It’s a bit of a local speciality.”“I will,” I promised. “Ah, I should go and make sure that everything’s going well on-deck. I’ll send Amaryllis down to make sure everything’s orderly.”“Thank you,” he said before I made my way back out.The trip continued at a good pace. Amaryllis polished off the paperwork, Awen continued to bleed off her embarrassed energy with maintenance, and the guys on the crew worked like a well-oiled machine as we got closer to the lumberjack’s compound.When we slowed to a stop and dropped anchor, it was only a hundred or so meters from the edge of the camp atop a muddy field covered in stumps.Edmund shook my hand before making his way down, and soon all of the lumberjacks and the two company representatives were off the Beaver and on their way back to their camp.I made sure to wave as hard as I could when they were walking off.Bastion joined me as Gordon and Steve weighted anchor again. “That seems to have gone well,” he said.“I hope so,” I said.He patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry so much,” he said. “I know some knights who have done less good in a year than what you’ve done in an afternoon.”I smiled over at him. It was weird that Bastion was so much shorter than me. “Thanks,” I said. “But I’m no knight. Maybe I should become one? Do they make cool armour for girls?”Bastion laughed. “There is an order of female-only knights, but the Inquisition doesn’t take gender into account. I’m sure they might consider your application. Though, you might not do so well with the flight trials.”“Don’t underestimate my ability to jump around,” I said.Bastion shook his head. “I’ll be in my cabin, call me if you need any assistance with anything.”I waved him off, then found myself standing near the bow of the Beaver with not much at all to do. “What about you?” I asked towards the figurehead of the ship.A familiar orange head popped up and stared at me with slitted eyes.“Alright, alright,” I said. “I won’t interrupt your work.” I left Orange to do Orange-y things, and flounced my way to the back of the ship and up to the wheel where Clive was puffing at a pipe, one taloned-hand on the ship’s controls. “Heya.”“Capt’n,” he puffed.“So, if you have a few minutes, could you show me a few tricks? I think being a better captain might mean knowing how to fly like a pro.”Clive chuckled and backed away from the wheel. “Good to see you’re eager to learn. I was right afraid when the Albatross lasses told me that my new captain was all green.”“I’m more of a pasty white... actually, I’m starting to tan a bit,” I said with a pinch to my cheek.He snorted. “Right, let’s go over the gravity engine. It’s a tricky beast to master, but there are some neat things to do with it if you’ve figured it out.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Shore Leave
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Shore Leave The Beaver Cleaver soared high above a hilly landscape dotted with little patches of forest and a long winding road following a rushing river.To our right rose a mountain chain that Clive called the Seven Points on account of its seven peaks. To our left, the Darkwoods, with trees stretching out all the way to the horizon. It was the thing way out ahead of us that had me excited though.Needleford!From the distance, it seemed like a big, sprawling city, with homes and fields stretching out all around it and along the coast of the Empty Sea. Hundreds of ships were berthed in the port to the south of the city, and perhaps three dozen airships were sitting in the airship docks next to those.A small castle atop a hill overlooked the city, and even from as far away as we were, I could make out the flags fluttering away atop the keep’s towers.“We’re going to start slowing down, Captain,” Clive said.I hung onto the rail and gave the pilot a big thumbs-up. “Got it!”The engine stopped, the propeller started to spin slower, and the Beaver Cleaver started to slow down. Steve and Gordon pulled in some sail, and soon our rapid clip was brought down to a gentle coast across the skies.We had to fly around the city in order to hit the airship docks from the right angle, so Clive brought us around until we were hovering our way across the open seas.“Signal’s out!” Clive said.Steve ran to the fore of the ship, then up the rungs along the side of the ship with some flags tucked into the back of his pants. Once he was halfway up the rigging he pulled them out and started to wave them about in a repetitive pattern.“We’re seen!” he said. “Second lighthouse!”I moved to the rails near him and looked out towards the docks. There were, indeed, two towers with big lights on them and what looked like a mirror array around them. Above that was a tower with a bunch of colourful wooden planks mounted to a complex set of pulleys and ropes. The panels were moving up and down, kind of like Steven’s arms.“A signal tower?” I asked.“A semaphore tower,” Steven explained. “I asked for a berth, captain, and they’re directing us to... Clive! Topmost, Second berth!”“Topmost. Second!” Clive repeated. “With this tailwind... we'll need more sail. Get ready to pull them up! Port-side!”We spent a moment running around, deploying sails as Clive indicated as we approached the huge wooden structure of Needleford’s air docks.A group of humans, most of them young men, were waiting for us by our berth with ropes and hooks. When we came into the dock at last, they flung their ropes out and caught the metal stubs along the side of the Beaver and tied him up to the piers on either side.There were other ropes, big ones as thick around as my arm, under us that came up to cradle the underside of the ship in place. “Lowering gravity engine output to nil,” Clive said.We dipped a little, then settled in place onto some big wooden bracers below. It took a moment for everything to calm down and place itself, but the Beaver had successfully come to a safe landing. “Gangplank out!” I called as I moved to the port side.Steve was the one to push out the plank, bringing it to a rest by the feet of a pair of men in officious uniforms with little anchors on their lapels.“Ahoy Beaver Cleaver,” one of them said.“Hey there!” I called back before stepping down the plank and shaking their extended hands.“We weren’t expecting you here,” the older of the two said. “Pardon me ma’am, but is the captain available?”“You’re talking to her,” I said. “I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch.”They looked at each other for a moment, then went on without a pause. “Well, as I was saying, your arrival was unexpected.”“We did a job for the Mattergrove East Company,” I said, my smile still in place. My dad always told me that bureaucrats were people too, even if sometimes it was hard to tell. “We didn’t expect to be coming here. But here we are. We’ll need refueling and such, and we have some documents to deliver too, I think.”The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Will the Mattergrove East Company be handling the docking fees then?”“No, that’s on us, I think,” I said. “Do you have the invoice for it?”“Ah, for the landing yes,” he said as he passed me a sheet. “And the first day ending at sunset. If you plan on staying for any amount of time, you’ll need to cover those fees as well. Payable before leaving. You’ll find our rates are very competitive with other ports.”“Oh, that’s nice,” I said as I took the sheet he gave me. The numbers were pretty big, but there were also a lot of people hanging around the Beaver. “I’ll give this to my first mate. Where do we go to pay you?”The man pointed to one of the towers overlooking the docks. “Port Authority headquarters are right there, captain.”“Thanks!” I waved to the two of them as they made their way back to their office, and then, with nothing better to do, climbed back aboard the Beaver. I was met by Clive who was smiling a very pleased sort of smile as he came over.“That was a nice smooth landing, if I say so myself. Not a scratch on the old boat.”“I certainly couldn’t have done it,” I said. “Top notch work, Clive. I’m not too sure what to do now.”“Ah, well, you young folk ought to get off the ship, maybe find yourselves a spot of trouble. I’m going to stay back here.”I looked over to Steve and Gordon who were both coiling up some ropes and looking quite pleased with themselves too. I supposed that the bulk of their work was done for now. “That sounds like a great idea,” I said. “Shore leave for everyone while the girls and I sort out the fuel thing and send out a message or two. Oh, and maybe we can shop around a bit.”This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“Aye,” Clive agreed. “Might want to hire a guard or two for the Beaver. This city’s peaceful from what I’ve heard, but nothing keeps things peaceful like having a few mean looking boys standing around and giving anyone the stink eye.”I giggled. “Alright. I’ll see what I can do.” I left Clive to give the good news to the boys and started towards the back, intent on finding my friends. But once more I was beaten to it as Awen, Amaryllis, and Bastion all stepped out of the cabin. “Hey guys. Ready to head out?”“Certainly,” Amaryllis said. “I do like the idea of being a proper world traveller. I suppose that means putting a bit of effort into the act of exploring every city we encounter.”“Awa, I’ve never been to Needleford; but I had some fish from here before, and it was really nice.”“Maybe we can send some fish to my sister, she does so love that sort of thing,” Amaryllis said.Awen did a good imitation of a fish for a moment.“Clementine will order fish from quite a ways when we have a gathering that calls for something exotic.”“Oh, oh, you meant, awa, yes, okay,” Awen said.Amaryllis and I locked eyes. Our expressions didn’t change, but we were both communicating the same love of teasing Awen to each other, and a sisterly agreement not to ever-ever stop because it was too much fun.I sidled up next to Awen as we started towards the gangplank. “I’m sure we can find a nice gift for Rose,” I said. “Something nice and tasteful that doesn’t send any wrong messages.”“You can send wrong messages with a gift?” Awen asked.“Not with the two of us helping you. Uh.” I looked to Bastion. “Three of us? Bastion, do you know anything about wooing cute harpy princesses?”“My sister isn’t a princess,” Amaryllis said.“I’m afraid not,” Bastion said. “There are some rather formal systems in place for gift-giving in Slyphfree. I’m familiar with those, if that would help?”“So, if you wanted to tell someone, say hypothetically it’s a cute harpy princess, that you like her, and that you’re thinking of her even though you’re far away on some super important mission to save the world, what sort of gift would you give for that?”“Ah,” Bastion said. “I realize that I may have overestimated my own knowledge here.”“We’ll figure it out together!” I said. “Maybe that’ll reduce the pressure, right Awen?”“Oh, ah, like sending the gift, but it’s from all of us?” Awen asked. She nodded. “Yes, yes that’s much better.”I squeezed Awen’s shoulder and let her pass before me as we crossed the gangplank onto the docks proper. Most of the dockworkers that had come around when we took our berth were gone now, leaving the area surprisingly quiet.“So,” I said as I skipped ahead. “We need to go pay for the dock, and Clive suggested we find a few guards to keep the ship secure while we’re off having fun.”“That sounds reasonable,” Bastion said. “I don’t think it would be an issue in a Sylph port, but out here, I don’t trust the locals enough to leave valuable materials unattended.”I shrugged. “Sure. We also need to find fuel and food.”“Shouldn’t we be fine food-wise?” Amaryllis asked. “Unfortunate losses due to... culinary experimentation aside, we were topped up on leaving Fort Sylphrot.”“Ah, I meant more... you know, trying out local restaurants.”The docks ended at a long ramp that sloped down to street-level, one that was currently blocked by three young men. No, two young men and a girl. “Stop right there, travellers,” the young man in the lead said.I stopped, and heard my friends doing the same behind me. “Can I help you?”The boy, who was wearing a somewhat grungy shirt tucked into some patched pants and who had a neat scar across his nose and cheek, placed his hands onto his hips and tried to make himself look big and tough. “I’m the great pirate Two-Eyed Joe. This is No-Pegs Oda and the Fearsome Sally.”“Uh, hi,” I said. “Can we help you?” Were they trying to help us, or just saying hi? And did being a pirate here mean the same thing as back home? I wasn’t exactly getting piratical vibes from the three of them.“We’re going to take your ship. Give us everything you’ve got.”I look to my friends, then back to the three of them. They were teens, maybe a year or two younger than me. A bit old to be playing pretend. “Are you sure?”“Of course I’m sure. Give me everything you’ve got, idiot!”Bastion’s sword came out of its scabbard with a rasp of steel on steel, and the air around Amaryllis sparked and sizzled as it filled with electricity.“Okay,” Two-Eyed Joe said. “I’ll settle for half your stuff.”“Joe, I don’t think it’ll work this time,” the fearsome Sally said as she leaned in towards her friend. The girl was really short, but didn’t look to be any younger than her friends. Not that it was easy to tell. She was wearing a big mariner’s jacket with her hood up and I couldn’t see much of her face. She did look rather shy though.“Of course it’s a good idea,” No-Pegs Oda said. “We’ll never be proper pirates if we don’t steal stuff from people on a ship, and this crew looks small.”I felt myself frowning. “Hey guys. I know being a pirate is really, really cool and all, but taking other people’s things is wrong, so maybe we should talk about this first?”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Rebels Without (Much of) a Cause
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Rebels Without (Much of) a Cause “So, are you really going to pirate us right here, out in the open?” I asked.There were still plenty of dock workers around. Less than when we’d come in to dock, but they were still there. A few of them were even setting things aside and looking our way, and I was pretty sure I saw money changing hands.Two-Eyed Joe, who seemed to be the leader of his little group, stepped up and puffed out his chest. “We’re real pirates. And we’re really going to take your ship.”“Just the three of you?” I asked. “You know, the Beaver’s a small ship, but even I’d hesitate to pilot it with only a crew of three.” Technically that’s how many experienced crewmembers we had, but there were others onboard too, to give the harpies a break and to help where we could.“We know what we’re doing,” Joe said.“I really, truly doubt that,” Amaryllis said. “You are, without any doubt, the dumbest excuse for a pirate I’ve ever seen.”“Amaryllis,” I soothed. “He’s just trying his best.”“He’s trying his best to pirate our ship. Why are you encouraging them?”“Well, mostly because they seem pretty harmless,” I admitted. All three of them looked younger than us. Not kids, but not adults either. So just three teens having some fun. “Say, do you guys know of a nice place to eat? We’re not going to be in the port for too long, but we’d like to try the local cuisine. I heard that the fish was great.”The three tensed up, then as one they sighed and their shoulders all drooped. “I guess this is normal,” Oda said.“Lame,” Sally agreed.Two-Eyed Joe shook his head. “Yeah, another bust.”“Aww, hey now,” I said. “It’s okay. I bet that with a bit of practice you could be great pirates.”“Are you really doing this?” Bastion asked.“Doing what?”“Encouraging these children to live a life of lawlessness? I’ve no authority over you or them, but I still feel as though I ought to point out that encouraging people to commit crimes is a terrible idea.”I shook my head. “No, no, there are different sorts of pirates out there. There’s the evil sort, that goes around plundering things, and there’s the good sort, who just want to live a life free from any laws and such, where they can be themselves and go on grand adventures with their friends. If I had to pick a kind of pirate to be, I’d be the second sort.”“That’s... not piracy,” Bastion said. “That’s just being irresponsible while onboard a ship.”I stepped up to the pirates before us and before they had time to act, looped my arms around Joe and Oda’s. “Alright boys and girl, lead us to the admin building and big sis Broccoli will listen to your dreams of sailing the seven seas!”“There are four seas,” Amaryllis chimed in.“What about the sky?”The harpy huffed. “The sky isn’t a sea, you dolt.”The pirates were a bit confused, but after a bit of stumbling about, we were all heading over to the administrative building, my friends forming a sort of pack behind the group. The day was too bright and cheery for fighting though, so I tried to enjoy the atmosphere while the two boys I had my arms linked with sweated up a storm.“You guys look nervous,” I said.“Ah,” Two-Eyed Joe said. “Well, you’re a little bit scary is all.”“Huh?” I asked.“How cowardly do you need to be in order for Broccoli to scare you?” Amaryllis asked. “She’s... her.”“Yeah, I’m me. And I’m not scary,” I said as I pulled my arms free from theirs. “Sorry. You must think I was trying to capture you or something?”“We get arrested. A lot,” Sally said.Bastion snorted. “I can’t imagine why.”I placed my arms over their shoulders. “Well, we’re not arresting you, or anything like that. We really do just need a local guide.” The boys shared a look, but they kept with us until we reached the administration building. Amaryllis was the only one to step in, claiming that it was her job as first mate-and only responsible crewmember-to get the paperwork done. And that she’d get us a good deal on docking fees. I didn’t envy the people working the front desk.“So, uh, you wanted to know about our dream?” Joe asked.Sally sighed. “Joe, they don’t care. No one does.”“I might not care yet, but that’s because I haven’t heard it. I won’t laugh, promise,” I said.Joe gestured to me while giving Sally a look. The three must have been good friends because they communicated a lot without speaking. “We want to become pirates so that we can leave this place and see the world. We want to visit the city states of the Endless Swells, and see the Grey Wall, and swim in the Willow Waters.”“Couldn’t you just join an existing crew?” Bastion asked. “You seem like hardy enough young people. Ships need sailors.”“They wouldn’t hire us, and we don’t want to be stuck doing runs back and forth for cargo and stuff. Anyhow, Sally couldn’t join. They don’t hire girls for that kind of thing here.”“The Exploration Guild might have a spot for you,” I said before tapping my badge. That reminded me, I could stop by the local guild and see if there was anything fun going on around the area. Also, the guild still owed me for that one flower-mapping job... I was really bad at managing things. “They accept girls. I’d know.”“That needs a bunch of money, and you need to do what you’re told all the time,” Joe said with a pout. It was really unfortunate for him that teenage boys with scraggly, patchy mustaches and lots of acne couldn’t pull off pouts.I didn’t want to judge my new somewhat-piratical friends so soon, but it felt as if they didn’t actually know what they wanted. And that if they had it, they still wouldn’t be all that happy. I suspected that there was more that they needed than just a life with more freedom.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.Amaryllis returned, looking particularly smug. “We’re good for the rest of the day and all of tomorrow,” she said. “They’ll be sending someone to refuel the ship tomorrow morning. I’ll want to be there for that, to make sure they’re not just giving us any old junk, but otherwise it seems that we’re set to go.”“Good work,” I said. “We were just talking about our pirate friends here.”Amaryllis eyed the three teens, then shrugged. “Give them to the local guard, and let’s get on with our lives.”The three tensed. Bastion nodded, and Awen seemed preoccupied.“I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” I said. “How about we let them off with a stern warning instead? Maybe they can be our local guides? I have a few cops to spare for their ‘become a pirate’ fund.”“You’d fund pirates?” Bastion asked.“As if the sylph haven’t funded a few privateers over the years,” Amaryllis said.“That’s an entirely different situation,” Bastion replied. He shook his head. “You know what, it’s fine. These three are too incompetent to be actual threats. I think any money you give them will likely be spent feeding them, so I can’t truly discourage you here.”I grinned. Bastion was a bit prickly, but he had a nice heart. I wondered if we should have been trying to include him in our group some more. A party of four was thirty-three percent more fun than a party of three, at least according to my friendship math. “Neat. So, wanna show us to the best place for local foods around here?” I asked Two-Eyed Joe.“Ah, sure, why not. There’s this place right on the edge of the docks. Owner used to run a stall, but he sold that and opened a little restaurant. It’s real popular with the dockworkers and some of the sailors. Cheap, but the food’s always been good.”“That sounds perfect. Any objections?" I asked my friends. Then I noticed that Awen was still looking away from us. “Awen?”The girl jumped. “Oh? Sorry I... Sorry, I think I noticed something.” She pointed off to the side.A bulletin board was set up against the wall of the administration building. It looked like it was mostly covered in requests for workers of one sort or another. Ships looking for crews, sailors looking for work, a few things for sale. And in the middle of it all, a sketch of Awen in a pretty dress.“Is that you?” I asked as I walked over.‘AWEN BRISTLECONE’ was the headline. And below that, the image of my friend, looking a bit more plump than she was now. I glanced at Awen. I hadn’t noticed her losing any weight, not that she needed to. I guess that all the adventuring counted as good exercise.“Are you reading this?” Amaryllis asked.‘Awen Bristlecone. Wanted Alive and Hale. Disappeared from Greenshade and last seen in Rosenbell in company of a young woman and a female harpy. Award 500 Gold, and the favour of the House of Bristlecone.’“That doesn’t look good,” I said.Awen’s face shifted from teary eyed sadness, to glaring determination. “They want me back,” she said. It didn’t sound all that nice. “After everything, they still want to take me back.”I pulled her into a hug from behind because she looked like she really needed one. “It’ll be okay,” I said.“I know,” she said. “Because I’m not going back.”I cut off a giggle. It was a bit mean to laugh right then. “Did you want to go back to the Beaver?”Awen shook her head, blonde hair brushing past my face. “No, no I want to stay with you and Amaryllis.”“Okay then,” I said before turning to the pirates. “So, that restaurant?”“Right,” Two-Eyed Joe said. He started down the street, and the rest of us filed after him. I gave Awen a last squeeze before following too. She tore her poster from the wall and stuffed it into a pocket before running after me.That probably counted as defacing public property, or maybe just theft, but it was her face on the poster, so I don’t think anyone would complain.As we moved away from the airship docks and closer to the normal-ship docks, the air changed. It started to smell a lot more like salt and brine and dead fish. “Is the water over there salty?” I asked.“The Empty Sea’s all salt all the way,” Two-Eyed Joe said. “It’s not very popular work, but collecting salt pays pretty well if you’re into that. They sell it to people all over Mattergrove since it’s cheaper than buying it from the Endless Swells or getting it from elsewhere.”“The only other sources are the cervid’s sea salt and the sylph’s pink mountain salt,” Amaryllis said. “And the Snowlanders, but their salt is strange, so no one uses it for eating.”We arrived at a busy little restaurant, with benches outside under colourful parasols. The tiny interior was little more than a counter, behind which a few burly cooks were frying all sorts of stuff on glowing, rune-carved grilles.The menu was pretty much just fish prepared in a dozen ways. I had to rely on Two-Eyed Joe and Sally to pick something tasty out. Sally, at least, seemed really enthused about the food.When the owner, a big guy with an apron that looked tiny over his tummy, called out for us, we paid and made our way back to our seats where we dug into our meals with the same gusto as the locals.At least, I did. My friends were all way too prudish to just dig in, even after I offered to Clean their hands and talons.As I ate, I let my mind wander over all sorts of things, from the value of piracy, to how, exactly, I had ended up with so many friends who were all raised to be just a smidge uptight.
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy — The Pirate's Lair
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy — The Pirate's Lair I chomped my way through dessert, which, just like the main meal, was also fish. “This is delicious,” I tried to say. A word or two might have been mangled and some of my fish might have escaped my mouth to end up on the table, but I just had to speak up.“You’re disgusting,” Amaryllis said.“Worth it,” I said.The pirates-actually, they weren’t really pirates just yet. They had a little ways to go, so they were more like scallywags-the scallywags smiled at our antics, having finished their meals first, second portions and all.I swallowed a mouthful of fish, took a gulp of water, then grinned over at them. I was about to ask about what it was like living in such a neat city when three someones walked over to our table.They stood tall above us, three men in clean tunics, with bandanas tied to their arms, and a really neat bicorn on the head of their leader. “Pardon me, sirs and misses,” he said with a faint accent that I couldn’t place. “But if you do not mind me asking, are you Miss Bristlecone, perhaps?”The table tensed. The scallywags looked ready to bolt and I noticed Bastion lowering one arm under the table while the other shifted to hold his fork differently.Awen stared at the man, wide-eyed. “Awa, uhm.”“Ah,” the man said with a snap of his fingers. “That little noise. Your uncle told us about it. At great length, I might add.”“You know my uncle?” Awen asked.“We flew together, once,” he said. “Is the old bas-ah, the old man around here?”Awen shook her head. “He’s not,” she said. “At least, I don’t think so. Uncle just shows up a lot.”“That he does,” the man said. He doffed his hat and bowed slightly. “It was a pleasure meeting you at last. Alas, I have a few urgent matters to care for, or I’d stay and chat with your very peculiar friends here.”“That’s okay?” Awen said. “Um, who are you?”The man grinned, huge and charismatic and showing off a pair of golden teeth. “Rogers,” he said. “I’m Golden Rogers.”“It was nice meeting you, sir,” she said in a sort of formal tone that didn’t quite sound like the Awen I knew.The man replaced his hat-which if I were to judge, wasn’t quite as neat as my own-and waved us goodbye before heading off with his pals.“That was something,” I said.Awen nodded vigorously. “I was afraid that he’d try for my bounty,” she said.I reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “If he tried anything, the lot of us would teach him a lesson. And you’re not so bad in a scrap yourself.” I gave her a last pat. “Do you guys think we should head back? It would be a bit of a shame to end our exploration so early.”“If you want to stick around,” Two-Eyed Joe said. “We could show you our hidden base.”“You have a hidden base!” I said. I was instantly onboard to see the base. “Where is it?”“Wouldn’t be very hidden if we told you,” Oda said. “Joe, you sure we should show them?”“Ah, c’mon, they got us free lunch and didn’t sell us out to the guard for another beating,” Joe said. “They seem nice.”“Yeah,” I agreed. “We’re super nice.”Amaryllis pushed her plate forward and got up, which prompted the rest of us to do the same. It didn’t take much to get everyone heading over towards the sea-side part of the city. I let myself fall back a bit as we walked so that I was bumping shoulders with Awen.“Are you alright?” I asked.Awen nodded. “I am. I’m fine,” she said.“Hmm, sometimes when people say they’re fine, they’re not actually all that fine deep down. I, ah, I know that we never got... you know, together or anything, and that now you’re with Rose, sorta, but I don’t want that to get between us?”Awen looked over at me, then she started to giggle. I wanted to ask what was up when she pulled me into a sidelong hug and placed her head on my shoulder. “Thanks Broccoli,” she said.“You’re welcome,” I said. “So, you’re fine?”“Yes, I’m fine. I might not have been, a few weeks ago, but then a really nice girl, and also Amaryllis, kidnapped me, and now I’m a whole lot more confident than I was before. So, when I’m saying that I’m fine, I mean it.”I wrapped an arm around her waist and returned the hug while bringing an ear down to pat her head. “Good,” I said. “You’re one of my best friends you know. When you’re happy, I’m happy.”“You’re always happy,” she said.“Not always. Sometimes my friends are sad, and that makes me sad. So you need to make sure that you’re always happy, for me, okay? And if you’re sad, you tell me so that I can be sad too until we both make whatever makes you sad regret it, okay?”Awen snorted in a very unladylike way and nodded into my shoulder. “Okay. Promise,” she said before pulling back. “But one day, I’ll be really strong, just like you, and uncle, and Amaryllis, and then you’ll come to me to stop you from being sad.”“Deal,” I said.“Hey, you two coming?” Amaryllis asked from out ahead. I realized that we’d been slowing down a little as we talked and the others were waiting for us around an intersection.Needleford was a pretty busy place, at least around the ship docks where we were. Sailors were moving about, some carrying things in groups, others just on their own, and there were plenty of hawkers and stalls with food that would have smelled great if my tummy wasn’t full to bursting.The scallywags brought us past the docks, and into a part of the town that looked a bit rough. Not slums, exactly, but a bit seedier, with older homes and streets that didn’t look quite as maintained.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.“It’s in here,” Joe said as he gestured to a brick wall between two tenements.“That’s a wall,” Amaryllis said.Sally pushed past us all and pressed a hand against the wall, then grunted as she pulled up. A segment of bricks about two feet wide shifted, then swung in, leaving an entrance just big enough for someone small to squeeze through.“Head first is easiest, but feet first is faster and safer on the other side,” Joe said.Sally moved in first, then Oba hopped through, followed by Joe.“I’ll take the vanguard,” Bastion said, his wings beat a couple of times and he darted in through the hole in a lunge.“Easy for him to say,” Amaryllis muttered. “Sylphs are sneaky enough to fit into any hole. I bet he’s done this before.”“If you want,” I said. “I could carry you and jump over the wall. It’s not that high.”Amaryllis huffed and scrambled through. I heard her squawk as she fell on the other side. Awen went next, moving through with careful, methodical motions. It was pretty obvious she wasn’t used to climbing or sneaking around.Finally, when it was my turn, I hopped up, grabbed the upper edge, and slid in feet-first. I patted down my skirt when I landed on the other side, and took a moment to look around.The door into the alley was made from a heavy, rusted fixture screwed into a sort of mesh that held a bunch of bricks together. Other than that, the wall was a normal wall. The alley wasn’t exactly dirty, but it had rotting leaves in the corners and a faint stench that I associated with water left out for too long.“Oda made the door,” Joe said as he smacked his friend on the shoulder. “He works for a mason sometimes, and sometimes for a local smith. He’s good with his hands. Our future ship mechanic!”Oda flushed and nodded. “I like making things. Sometimes I draw too.”“He’s going to chronicle all of our adventures as pirates,” Joe said. He waved us over. “Come on.”The alley led onto a very narrow street that we crossed right away to step into the backyard of an old church with boarded up windows. “Who was this church for?” Bastion asked.“Dunno,” Joe said.Sally shook her head. “The Void God, of the Empty Sea. The church was abandoned when Needleford became bigger.”“I’m not familiar with that one,” Amaryllis said.“It’s a Pyrowalkian religion, at least originally,” Bastion said. “I can’t say much about what they worship. I know that they became very unpopular a few decades ago. They're mostly found in any port city past the Grey Wall now. They never had a presence in Sylphfree or the Harpy Mountains. Rare to worship a sea that’s not even in sight.”“It’s here,” Sally said as she moved ahead of us. The back of the church was on the dilapidated side of things, with broken windows and peeling paint. Sally tugged out a step ladder from next to a little shed and placed it against the wall right under a little window.“Oh great, another tiny hole to squeeze into,” Amaryllis muttered. “You kids really didn’t plan this with adults in mind, did you?”“Hey, we’re not kids,” Joe said.“He’s right. They’re pirates,” I corrected Amaryllis. “Scallywags like them have no age.”Joe didn’t look reassured by my standing up for him. “Come on, it’s not hard to get in.”Sally climbed up first while pulling out a bit of wire from a pocket to slide it between the shutters of the window. It opened outwards and the girl squeezed in. And then it was time for the rest of us to do the same.As it turned out, the window led into a tiny little room with a ladder at the back and a bunch of very old cleaning supplies laying around and collecting dust. We went up the ladder and ended up in a loft above the main floor of the church.A look down revealed rows of chairs where I might have expected pews. Which was really too bad because ‘pews’ was more fun to say than ‘chairs.’“Careful with this bit,” Sally said, she crossed the entire church by walking across a wooden beam with her arms outstretched. It was only a two meter drop to the floor below, but it was still a bit creepy to pass.And then, at the very end of the church, Sally opened up a small sliding door that led right into the church’s bell tower.It was a cozy space. Made more so by having seven people in it. They had a little cot to one side, with some blankets, and next to that some thread and knitting needles. A few little boxes held tools, and there was a stack of old newspapers and books at the back next to an unlit candle.The bell was gone, but parts of its mechanism remained. It gave the room a strange sort of feeling, like being somewhere you weren’t supposed to. I had once been in the corridors behind the shops at a mall, and it felt the same there that it did in the bell tower.Joe moved to the far end of the room and, with a bit of smacking, opened a pair of shutters.“Whoa,” I said as I moved closer.The entirety of Needleford, or at least the half near the sea, stretched out below. Ships were coming into the docks, and the air that wafted in and kicked up the layer of dust on everything smelled like salt and fish.In the distance, I could make out the airship docks, looking tall and proud with stately airships parked in them. The Beaver Cleaver was easy to make out, what with his yellow hull.“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Joe asked.“Yeah,” I agreed. “I can see why someone would want to be free, with a view like this before them every day.”
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-One — Oh, The Small Manatee
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-One — Oh, The Small Manatee I could tell that not all of my friends were comfortable with just sitting around and waiting-Bastion, especially. For all that he was a pretty cool guy, he didn’t seem the sort to just sit back and look over an enjoyable view. He was more of an action-first kind of sylph, which was fine.We’d head back home soon. I grinned. The Beaver Cleaver was already feeling like a home!“So, Joe, what do you do when you’re not being a pirate?” I asked.Joe shrugged, the gesture uncharacteristically humble. “Not too much,” he said. “I work over in the docks. Not the airship ones. Just hauling things around for a few copper an hour. It’s dull work, but I’ve learned a lot about packing things away, and ballast, and I get to talk to a lot of old sailors, so that’s neat.”“Those wages sound awful,” Amaryllis said.“Yeah, they are,” Joe agreed. “But it’s work that’s there when you need it, you know?” He gestured to his two friends. “We’re putting all of our money aside to buy the things we need to become real pirates.”“Honest work for dishonest goals?’ Bastion asked. “Somewhat ironic.”Joe glared at the sylph, but it bounced off of Bastion’s armour like chaff. “The others work hard too.”Sally nodded. “I work at the shops. It’s mostly easy things. But one lady, the book shop owner, she taught me how to read a little, and how to write. I do a lot of labels and stocking shelves since I know how. She even paid me in a book or two about ships.”“That’s really neat,” I said. “We should get more books in the Beaver. Turn part of it into a library.”Awen of all people, nodded. “We could use more ballast.”“Reading is good,” I said. “My butt got saved by a few books already. Mostly about plants and such. It’s a nice hobby to have too.”Sally looked down, but she was smiling all the same. “I’ve been teaching Oda and Joe too, but they’re not very good yet.”“Hey,” Oda said. “I’m just more of a hands-on guy.”“You work at the smith, right?” I asked.“And at the repair shop by the shore. They don’t give me any of the real complicated things to fix, but I’m learning. The money helps. Soon we’ll have enough parts to finish off the Manatee.”“The Manatee?”Oda looked to his friends, and got a pair of nods in return. “It’s our ship. Our pirate ship. Do you want to see it?”“You’re darn right I do!” I said. “Where did you guys park it? At the docks?”“With the amount they charge?” Joe asked. “And the administration there doesn't like us. They’d make us pay as if the Manatee was ten times its size. Nah, we have a spot by the shore. It’s a quiet area. There are a bunch of other small ships pulled up and stored there.”“Should we?” I asked my friends.“It’ll be our last stop for the night,” Amaryllis said. “We do have some things to work on aboard the Beaver. We can’t just leave it all day.”“One last bit of exploring then,” I agreed.Leaving the church was about as easy as getting into it, which is to say that it required a bunch of climbing and squeezing through tight holes while working hard to keep my skirt on straight and my captain’s hat atop my head.Once we were all out and ready to go, Joe took the lead and headed right for the shore. We left the somewhat poorer parts of town and passed through a market filled with shops and bustling people. For the most part they were all human, with the occasional grenoil here and there. No sylphs, and no harpies that I could tell. And no other, more exotic species of people either.Needleford felt a little insular after visiting so many places that had such a diverse mix of peoples.We arrived in an open lot right next to the docks proper. There were lots of ships-for the air and sea-most of them in these big square boxes stacked atop each other, with pads holding them in place and ladders leading up to them. “These are the small ship drydocks,” Joe said. “They sell used skiffs and dinghies here.”“Neat,” I said as I took a moment to spin around. There was a salesman-looking guy to one side, talking to some sailors while gesturing at a row-boat, and a shop nearby had oars and all sorts of ship-related equipment for sale within.“That’s the Manatee,” Oda said as he pointed to the end of the lot.The ships there weren’t in their own berths. Most were just left on the ground here and there, and they didn’t seem to be in the best of shapes.The Manatee was behind these. Covered in an old tarp that had a few holes in it.Oda and Joe pulled the tarp off and revealed their ship.It wasn’t all that much to look at. It was maybe three meters long, with a wooden hull that came to a narrow point and that bulged out in the middle. That middle had a clunky-looking engine in it, an engine that was spotted with its fair share of rust.At the back sat a propeller on a shaft that led to a gearbox connected to... a pair of foot-powered pedals.“Is this a paddle boat?” I asked.Amaryllis huffed. “It’s an airship tender.”“A what?”“When you have a larger ship, something bigger than the Beaver, sometimes you don’t want to come to a landing, but you still need to send someone to the ground. So you use one of these. It’s small enough to pack away on deck, and you can carry five, maybe six people, and a bit of cargo.”I nodded and looked back at the Manatee. It was in surprisingly good shape for a tarp-covered ship in what looked like a scrapyard.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.The wooden hull had a few scrapes on it, but those were covered over by a fresh layer of lacquer. None of the handles and ties on the sides matched, but they were all freshly painted and functional, and while the engine was rusty, it was still very clean. “That’s a pretty nice boat,” I said.Joe smiled wryly. “It’s not much of a ship for a crew of pirates,” he said. “But she’s ours.”“How did you get her?” I asked.“The hull’s from a ship we bought here. Did some work for the owner and he’s a nice guy. He lets us tinker with the Manatee every so often. The engine, that’s Oda. He rebuilt it from scrapped parts he got from the repair shop. The rest is mostly Sally. She’s good at repainting things and all that.”Joe ran a hand along the rail running around the ship and smiled. He seemed quite fond of the little dinghy.“Have you flown her a lot?” I asked.“Not yet,” he said. “She’s ready to go but... yeah.”The moment grew a bit long, and a bit awkward. The scallywags were looking to Joe with expressions that I couldn’t quite read. I think that it was worry, or something very close to that. They wanted their freedom, to take to the skies, but at the same time, taking that big of a step was scary.I pat Joe on the shoulder. “It’s a real nice boat,” I said.“Yeah,” he agreed. “Maybe if things don’t work out, we can sell it. Split the profits three ways.”“It might not come to that,” I said.Amaryllis sighed. “We should get going. I can’t imagine how long it’ll take to get back to the Beaver in this backwater maze.”“Sally, want to lead them out?” Joe asked. “Oda and I will tinker with the Manatee a bit, I think.”“Sure,” Sally agreed.Our goodbyes were a bit stunted, and I felt like someone saying goodbye to someone at a funeral home for some reason. Everything was awkward and a bit weird. Fortunately, as soon as we were out of the yard, Sally spoke up.“Joe’s like that,” she said. “He really believes in our dream, even when Oda and I aren’t so sure, you know? But he gets afraid easy.”“He sounds like he’d make a good captain,” I said.“What? No way. I’m gonna be the captain. No matter if Joe or Oda want it more,” Sally said.I giggled, the air lightening a bit. We were crossing through the same crowded market as before when I noticed Amaryllis looking around. “Where’s Awen?” she asked.The four of us stopped. I felt my heart beating crooked. She wasn’t behind us. I’d been walking with Sally, and Bastion and Amaryllis were right behind so... “Maybe she saw something?” I asked. It didn’t sound so sure, even to me.“She would have said something,” Amaryllis said. “We should double back.”“No,” Bastion said. “Broccoli, can you get to the roofs?” I nodded. “Good. Take the left side of the road, I’ll take the right. Amaryllis, stay here in case she returns.”Bastion jumped up, and his wings beat humming-bird fast for a moment before he took off and flew towards the top of the nearest shop.I shook my head, grabbed only my hat, and spent a load of stamina jumping to the roof across from that shop. The buildings here were only two stories tall, with steep tiled roofs that were broken up by chimneys. I scrambled up to the peak of the roof and looked down at the crowds below while working to keep my footing on the tiles.No blonde hair, not across the crowds that I could see. My eyes jumped from person to person, looking for Awen, her coat, or maybe a scuffle or something. A glance across the street showed Bastion moving along, tracing back over the path we’d taken.I tightened my fists and tried to shove any accusations against myself to the side. I knew I should have been paying more attention, that I should have watched over Awen some more. Was she feeling sad? Did she leave all on her own?It was pure coincidence that had me looking up and towards the airship docks.They were a ways away, far enough that anyone I could see was just a tiny figure.That didn’t stop me from spotting Awen. She was the only person being manhandled by two big sailors on the deck of a ship. The only one with a black band over her mouth. Her hair waved about as she fought against the men holding her from behind and wrapping ropes around her.“Awen!” I screamed, but she was hundreds of meters away, aboard an unfamiliar airship that was even now putting down its sails and pulling out of its berth.How did they get so far so quickly? For that matter, who were they and where were they going with my friend?“Bastion!” I called out.The sylph looked over at me, then followed my arm towards the distant figure of Awen. His eyes widened a moment before he lunged over the roof and landed by my side. “Damn,” he said when he landed. “We need to get to the Beaver.”I nodded, then hesitated. How long would it take to get the Beaver ready to go. Would the Beaver be able to take on a much bigger ship, one that looked to be armed and crewed by dozens of men?“No, I have another idea,” I said.We jumped down and landed near Amaryllis and Sally. “Did you find her? What’s wrong?” Amaryllis asked.“Quick, we need to go see the Scallywags,” I said.“The who?”“The pirates. Sally’s friends. We need the Manatee, and we need it now,” I said. “We need to go save Awen.”“Oh, Joe is not going to like that.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Two — Fetching Help II: Re-Re-Kidnapping
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Two — Fetching Help II: Re-Re-Kidnapping “Joe,” I said past my panting. My heart was thudding away at my chest, like a rabbit trying to run free. It wasn’t just the sprint back to the yard, or the way I practically carried Sally to make us move faster. Well, it wasn’t just that.“Are you guys alright?” Joe asked.I started to nod, then shook my head. “Joe. Can the Manatee fly?”“What?” he asked.Sally jumped ahead to explain. “Their friend, the blonde one, she was kidnapped and taken on an airship.”Joe turned back to me. “So... what? You want to take the Manatee?”“We need to catch up,” I said.“You have your own ship,” he said. “It’s a lot nicer than ours.”“Ours isn’t made to go fast,” I said. “And it’s big besides. I think the Manatee might be faster.”“Well too bad, we’re not just giving you our ship.”I swallowed. “I’m asking you to come with us. Please?”Joe crossed his arms, feet set and jaw locked in place. And then Amaryllis huffed a rather dangerous sort of huff and stomped up in front of the boy. She reached out and grabbed him by the lapels with her talons to pull him close. “Listen to me, you stupid human boy. One of my best friends is in trouble. Now, Broccoli here is too kind a soul to just take your stuff to save our friend. I’m not.”“Are you threatening me?” Joe asked. His eyes were darting around, to Amaryllis, then to his friends who didn’t seem to know what to do any more than I did.“I’m saying that if it was one of your friends, I don’t doubt you’d do what you had to do to save them, right? Awen’s been kidnapped by some men that I plan to fry.” Sparks of electrical mana snapped and crackled in the air around her. “Do you want to join them?”“The Manatee’s never flown,” Joe said.Amaryllis let him go with a shove. “Let’s at least try, damn it.”I pressed a hand on her shoulder. I didn’t like seeing her so violent, but I could get it. I wasn’t like that, not to someone that I didn’t think deserved it, but I could get why she was so nervous.Joe licked his lips and looked to his friends.Sally jumped ahead and tore the tarp back off the Manatee. “Come on, Joe. Let’s get her ready.”Joe and Oda locked eyes, then he turned back to me. “You owe us one,” he said.I nodded. “If we can save Awen, then... I mean, even if we can’t... Just... please help us.” My hands came together and twiddled together, neither knowing what to do. “Please?”Joe sighed and turned to jump aboard the Manatee. “Oda, get the engine going. Sally, make sure the sails are set. Do we have enough fuel?”“Not much in the tank,” Oda said.“I’ll be right back,” Bastion said before taking off at a dead sprint.I jumped aboard the Manatee too. It wasn’t a big ship. In fact, I was pretty sure it didn’t count as a ship at all. I looked around for something to do, noticed how the ship had some stains and was on the wrong side of dirty in spots. So, I started tidying up.Oda gave me a strange look, but he didn’t raise a fuss. “Engine’s primed,” he said.We all paused as he pulled a cord. The engine spun, choked, and died before even coming alive. Oda pulled the cord again, and again, and again, to no effect. He dropped to his knees and started fiddling with something on the underside of the engine.“What’s wrong with it?” Amaryllis asked.“It’s an old engine,” Joe said.“I’m aware,” Amaryllis said. “I wasn’t asking about its provenance, I was asking what’s wrong with it.”“The spark runes are old,” Oda said. “Everything else is old too.”“Show me where they are,” Amaryllis said. When Oda pointed to the right places, she nodded and set her talons on the spots. “This model needs the cam turning while the runes go off, right? Good, pull on one. Three... two... one!”Sparks flew, the air filled with the tang of ozone, and the engine burped once, then twice, then it started to rumble and gurgle and shiver in its mounting. “It’s working!” Oda said.“Check your fuel intake,” Amaryllis said. “It’s dying off.”Oda jumped to it, quickly adjusting a few knobs and pulling at a lever. That didn’t hide the huge, proud smile he wore the entire time. “Got it! You know your engines.”“That’s an Albatross engine, of course I know it,” Amaryllis said with a huff.Just then Bastion returned, still running, though he now had a pair of cannisters held by his side, both of them sloshing with something liquid. He slowed down, barely even winded, and dropped one so that he could take the other in both hands. I rushed to help him carry it up. “What is this?” I asked.“More fuel. We’re going to need to push hard to catch up to anyone,” Bastion said as he passed me the second container. “Are we missing anything?”Joe muttered something, then sighed. “No. Come aboard. Oda, gravity down? We’ll need to push off the ground hard.”I nodded. If the engine could lower the weight of the dinghy enough to make it buoyant in the air, then we’d still need a strong push to get us up. Or something like that. I didn’t know how gravity engines worked. “I’ll get it,” I said as I rolled over the edge of the Manatee. Once on the ground, I moved under the ship, thankful that it was mounted on some logs.“What are you doing?” Amaryllis asked.“Is the engine running hard?” I asked.“We haven’t figured out how much gas we need to give it for anything,” Oda screamed.I bunched my brows together. “Then give it lots.” My feet came up, close to my chest, my back pressing into the ground and my feet planting on the hull above me. “Get ready!”If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.The engine roared louder, and I felt the ship rising just a tiny little bit. Then I shoved as much stamina as I could into my legs and let out a grunt of effort as I shoved as hard as I could.The Manatee launched up a few meters, and kept climbing.I rolled back onto my feet, then shot up into the air after it.I miss-timed my jump. For a moment I thought I’d miss the ship entirely, but then Bastion leaned over the side and grabbed my outstretched arm. I planted a foot on the hull, and he pulled me aboard where I rolled to the floor.“We need a second person on the paddles!” Joe said.He was at the ship's wheel, which was just a tiny thing near the front. Sally was moving to the back, but Bastion grabbed her arm. “Watch the sails,” he said. “Broccoli, take one of the pedals, I’ll take the other.”“No,” Amaryllis said. “Joe, how much experience do you have as a pilot?”“Um, none?”“I’m taking the wheel,” she said. “Get on the pedals with Broccoli and Bastion, rotate. Sally, give us quarter sails on either bow.” Amaryllis jumped behind the wheel and pulled at a lever that had the nose of the Manatee rising a little. “Get that prop turning!”It took a moment for everyone to settle down, but soon we were all in our positions. Amaryllis at the wheel, Joe standing awkwardly next to Bastion and I while we pedaled as if our lives depended on it. Oda stood by the engine and tapped and twisted things around it. Sally, who was surprisingly comfortable with heights, hung halfway off the side arranging the sails as Amaryllis ordered.Once the prop got going and we caught some wind, we started moving with surprising speed. The Manatee was a lighter ship, and that was obvious whenever a gust hit us at a strange angle. Still, that lightness, combined with Bastion and I going all out on the pedals, had us moving at a speed that the Beaver Cleaver just couldn’t match.“Broccoli! Which direction did the ship head off in?” Amaryllis asked over the wind.“West!” I said. “West! It was a bigger ship. Red and black hull.”Amaryllis nodded, reached down around her neck to grab her goggles, and slid them on. “Hang on!” she said.The Manatee dipped forwards, gaining speed as it lost altitude.“Sally! We need more sail!”“I can’t deploy on both sides at once!” Sally called back.“Joe! Help her!”Joe stumbled to the front and hung off the side near the port sails. “Ready!”“Deploy to full on three!” Amaryllis said. She was leaning forwards, looking at something that I couldn’t see from way off in the back. “One! Two! Now!”Sally’s sail unfurled first and the Manatee jerked to the side, almost rolling as it caught the wind and sent us off-course. Joe’s sail shot open a moment later and our flight righted itself. We caught some sort of updraft that had the Manatee shifting up and into the sky.“You never told me you were this good a pilot!” I called out.“You’d have me working more,” Amaryllis said.I blinked. Had we accidentally brought Rosaline disguised as Amaryllis along?“I see it!” Amaryllis said a moment later. “At least, I think I do. There’s a magical hotspot about two clicks that way!” she pointed off above and to our left. “We need more height.”I looked to Bastion to see how he was doing. The man wasn’t even sweating yet, which I couldn’t claim about myself. The constant pump of my legs had turned into a heavy burning sensation a minute into our flight and it was only getting worse. “Aim us up! We’ll give it more on our end,” I said.Any amount of sore muscles was worth saving Awen for.“Got it!” Amaryllis said.She pulled a lever down, and the little directional flaps on the back of the Manatee changed their angles so that we were pointing up.Bastion and I both grunted as we started spinning the pedals faster. The prop behind us started to hum just a little louder and we started to move a pinch faster.“What’s the plan once we’re near the bastard?” Amaryllis asked.“I haven’t thought that far ahead,” I said.“We’re not getting involved in a real fight,” Joe said.I wanted to argue, but he was probably right. This wasn’t his fight. “Can we cut across their deck and land on it?” I asked.“And then what?”I shrugged, then regretted it as it made me lose my timing with the pedals a little. I held onto the edge of my seat to stay in place. “And then we grab Awen and run. And if anyone gets in our way, we beat them up.”Amaryllis was quiet for a while, then she started chirruping in her strange birdy laughter. “A bun, a harpy and a sylph land on a pirate’s deck. It sounds like the start of a bad joke.”“Yeah, well the joke’s going to be on them. No one kidnaps my friends except for me!” I declared.Bastion chuckled. “No one’s going to believe my report,” he said.“Shows that you don’t know what being with Broccoli is like,” Amaryllis said. “The day we became friends she led an undead army against a squadron of cervid mercenaries to try and save me.”“Hey!” I said. “I didn’t just try. I totally saved you.”“I would have figured it out,” Amaryllis said.Bastion stared at us, then shook his head. The scallywags didn’t seem to know what to think either.The ship we were following grew larger as we approached. It was a nice ship, with a few old scars but a lot of character.Unfortunately, even as we came closer and its smaller details came to light, I couldn’t find it in my heart to appreciate the ship. Not after it had taken Awen.We’d just need to take her back.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Three — No Plan, Just Survive Contact With the Enemy
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Three — No Plan, Just Survive Contact With the Enemy We didn’t have a plan.In fact, I felt surprisingly weary, as if all of the excitement of the last few minutes was finally catching up to me, and for a moment, even thinking felt hard and sluggish. But that had to be set aside, at least for the moment.I huffed and puffed, breathing hard as I felt my stamina slowly depleting away with every thrust of my leg against the pedals.“We’re going to slow down, just a little,” Bastion said. “You’ll need your stamina.”I nodded, and when he slowed his pace, I followed suit. “Do you have a plan?” I asked.Bastion looked at me. “You’re the captain.”“I’m a very new captain,” I said.Amaryllis looked back at us, but she seemed just as uncertain as I felt.“This is such a disaster,” Joe muttered.“Alright,” Bastion said. “If you don’t mind, Captain Bunch, then I suspect I have a bit more experience with these matters.”“You’ve boarded ships full of enemies before?” Amaryllis asked, her tone biting and more than rude.“As a matter of fact, yes,” Bastion said. “As a Paladin of the Royal Inquisition, it’s my duty to ensure the safety of the crown and the sovereignty of the Sylph nation. I’ve fought pirates before. That has included boarding their ship. Once at night when they did not see us coming, once in a pitched battle. I suspect this will be more like the latter.”“That’s awesome,” I said as I looked at my friend with a new light.Bastion just nodded once. “Do you think you’ll be able to negotiate with the kidnappers?”I bit my lower lip. “Do you think I can?” That would really be the best case scenario.“No,” he said. “You’ve surprised me before, but even your diplomatic skills will be hard-pressed when boarding another’s ship to take away a prize they already think they’ve won. That, and we don’t have anything to negotiate with.”“We have violence. That’s often a very useful tool when it comes to negotiating,” Amaryllis said.Bastion grinned. ”That it is.”I wasn’t sure I liked that idea. Not at all. But then Amaryllis twisted something and we were rocketing up towards the ship above.“We’ll jump off once we’re above the ship. Aim for the main deck and clear out the area. Keep moving, don’t let them gang up on you. Toss them overboard if you can manage it,” Bastion said. He turned his attention to Joe and the other Scallywags. “Keep close to us. Below their line of fire. We might signal you over at the last moment.”“R-right,” Joe said. Oda and Sally tried to look determined, but they looked just a bit too scared for it to be genuine.“We can’t take over the entire ship. We find the VIP, we grab her, we leave. If you can damage the ship enough to make a chase difficult for them, then that would be for the best. Got it?”I nodded. “Got it.”“I heard you,” Amaryllis said.The ship was coming up fast. Its name, emblazoned on its side in proud golden letters was the Golden Grove’s Revenge. It was, at a guess, three times as long as the Beaver Cleaver and about as wide, with a long black balloon festooned with golden banners along its sides.The ship was one of those that looked like an actual naval vessel instead of something more futuristic, though it had two nacelles on its sides with large paddle wheels within, and two smoke stacks somehow poking through the balloon above to spew out black smog into the sky above.It reminded me a bit of those ships on Earth after the age of sail, but before steamships were the norm.“Get ready to switch!” Bastion said.He started pedaling faster, and I pushed some more to keep up. The extra push sent us zipping right past the side of the ship and had a few of the sailors aboard looking up in surprise.“Switch!”I got up and tried to move up, fighting the angle of the Manatee and the push of the wind we were slicing through. When I reached the middle, I felt Bastion grabbing my arm and pointing me towards the Golden Grove’s Revenge. “Aim for the deck!” he said.Nodding, I narrowed my eyes, placed a foot on the edge of the Manatee then tried to ignore the way my tummy flip-flopped inside me as we reached the apex of our arc and started to dip back down.It felt as if the larger ship was rising up to meet us, and the backdrop of the open sea far below did nothing to help my sense of perception.“Now!” Bastion said. He launched himself ahead, spinning in mid-air to unsheathe his sword. I saw him slice a rope apart and catch the top part to swing deeper onto the deck all in one smooth motion.Then I refocused and jumped after him. For a moment I was afraid that my little bit of hesitating would send me smacking into the ship’s side, but I landed on a bannister just below the rails along the deck. My arms windmilled and I only just managed to catch onto the rails above just as a burly man stuck his head out over the edge.“Who in the World are you?” he asked.It was very, very rude of me, but I reached out under the rails, grabbed the sailor by the scruff of his shirt, and put all of my weight into pulling him down as hard and fast as I could.His jaw cracked against the rail and I saw his eyes watering as I climbed up and vaulted over him. He wasn’t knocked out or anything, because that was hard to do, but he didn’t look like he was in the best of shapes.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.The deck was a wide, rather cramped space. There were a lot of devices sticking out of the floor, with spools of rope and little machines that I couldn’t identify at a glance. Those didn’t matter, not as much as the dozen men on deck. Most were unarmed, or if they did have something, it was little more than a knife or a length of chain.Bastion landed at the far end of the deck, both feet crashing into the chest of a man that went flying and giving him the boost needed to spin around in mid-air and land at a crouch with his sword by his side.Amaryllis swooped onto the deck, ran to a stop, then huffed as lightning started to race up and down her arms and made her feathers puff out.I cleared my throat, then did it again when the sound was drowned out by the whipping of the ship’s paddle-like propellers. “Hello everyone,” I said. “My name is Broccoli Bunch, captain of the Beaver Cleaver, and you kidnapped one of my best friends.”“Pirates!” One of the men shouted.“Technically, we’re not-” I began, but it was far too late.One of the sailors that had a knife ran straight for me and started to swing his weapon around. I ducked back, looked around for something to use as a weapon of my own, then on finding nothing, let loose a burst of Cleaning magic at the man’s face.He covered his eyes, which meant that he never saw it when Amaryllis zapped him full on in the chest.“Amaryllis!” I said.“He’s probably not dead,” she said. “We have bigger things to worry about!”I wanted to say a bad word, but refrained. One of the pirates jumped forwards, a rope swinging around him and snapping around as if it was a living thing. I couldn’t focus on anything but ducking and weaving out of its way until the man twitched and swung his arm around to smack one of his own friends with his rope.The telltale electrical snaps around his body hinted at who made that happen.“Head in the game, idiot!” Amaryllis said.I nodded. She was right. No matter what, the one thing I couldn’t do was nothing.Something caught my eye, and I found myself grinning as I rushed over to the side, rolled past a man with a club, then picked up the perfect weapon out of the sopping wet bucket it had been left in.The mop head splashed some soapy water across the deck as I brought it up and brandished it at the three men that had followed after me. A glance to the side and I saw Amaryllis firing bolts of lightning at a few sailors while another, connected to her by electrified strings, was whaling into a comrade with little finesse and less skill.Bastion, for his part, was holding his own against five men at once, spinning and twisting out of their path and leaving shallow cuts through clothes and skin with the tip of his sword. It looked almost as if he was just toying with them.Maybe I should have Inspected his level at some point.“Drop the mop girl,” one of the pirates said.I spun the mop around and gestured with the head of it in their general direction. One of them even moved out of the way of the splatter of water I sprinkled his way. “I’m warning you, I’ve got expert cleaning skills and I know how to use this. Just give us back our friend and we won’t have to do anything drastic.”One of them didn’t take my warning seriously, he raised his bat and came at me with a roar.I slid my foot towards the bucket, then flung it up so that it smacked him between the legs with a wet splat. Then when he started to trip forwards, I hooked the mophead around his neck and pulled him down.I let go of the mop with one hand and started to concentrate on the first spell that came to mind. I was halfway into building it when the next pirate rushed me. I smacked his hand aside with the end of the mop handle, then poked it against his throat.He stumbled back with a gurgle and cough just as I raised my hand towards the remaining pirate, now with nine fireballs spinning around it. “Mass Fireball!” I called.The pirate ‘eeped’ and jumped out of the path of the balls of fire. They shot out, spinning around like balloons losing their air. Four went over the edge and burst in the sky, but the others smacked into the ship and sails and spread sticky flames across the wooden surface.“Oops,” I said.The door to the cabins at the back burst open and a dozen more men rushed onto the deck. These weren’t just sailors with whatever they had on hand though, they were all carrying proper weapons. Swords and studded clubs, a few long spears with hooked spikes at the end and...“Crossbows!” I cried before ducking to the side and behind a barrel.A bolt thumped into the wood right next to my head. I looked over to Amaryllis to see her hiding behind the man she was puppetting and Bastion... sliced the two bolts fired at him out of the air with a motion of his sword so fast it was little more than a blur.“Those are arbalests, not crossbows,” he said.“Oh,” I said. “My bad.”“No matter,” he replied before shifting his shoulders and letting his wings beat a few times. “I could use some support. Distract a few of them so that I can take the brunt without having to watch my back.”“You’re kinda scary,” I said.“Who in the world are you?” I peaked over the barrel and watched as a very angry Golden Rogers stomped onto the scene. “You three, get those fires under control dammit! And you idiots, who do you think you are, boarding my ship?”I swallowed, then stood. I was about to give this bully a piece of my mind.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Four — Chaos and Anarchy and Other Sorts of Fun
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Four — Chaos and Anarchy and Other Sorts of Fun “You... you rapscallion!” I said, with one arm raised so that I could point right at Golden Rogers. “You mean, no-good pirate.”Golden Rogers blinked, then he had the temerity to actually smile and look to his crew. “Did you hear that? The miss thinks that I’m a no-good pirate.”“That’s exactly what you are,” I said. “You’re the worst kind of pirate there is. I bet all you do is go around and steal things.”“That is generally what a pirate does, little bun.”“No, no it’s not. Pirates are meant to be free! They’re meant to go where no one’s gone before just because they can, and they’re meant to put their names in the history books for being grand adventurers. You’re just a petty, no-good mean... person that kidnapped my best friend. I... I really want to do mean things to you.”Golden Rogers laughed, though I had the impression that at least a couple of his crewmates felt a little bad.That probably wouldn’t be enough.I was about to demand that he surrender Awen back to us when the door behind him slammed open and a wide-eyed Awen stumbled out and into the middle of the Roger’s group, soon followed by two dishevelled pirates.One of them immediately tried to grab her, but Awen planted a boot on his foot and rammed her elbow full-force into his chest.Golden Rogers grunted in displeasure and grabbed Awen by the hair.She screamed as he dragged her forwards a ways and held her up, calloused fingers tangling with blond locks. He grabbed one of her arms and yanked it back behind her. Her free hand scrambled at the hand grabbing her hair to no avail. “Let her go!” I screamed.Awen started and looked up. “Broccoli?” she asked.“Let her go,” Amaryllis said. “You’ve already incurred the wrath of the Albatross family, and I’ve no doubt the Bristlecones will fail to appreciate the way you’re handling their scion.”Rogers scoffed. “The Bristlecones? Those filth?” He shook Awen and she winced. “Do you have any idea how much I loathe them? Abraham Bristlecone cost me a ship and half a year of my life in some backwater penal camp. This girl? She’s going to be my payback for all the trouble that bastard gave me.”“Awen never did anything to you,” I said. “If you want to fight with Abraham, then go ahead. At least he’s someone your size.”“Oh, shut up,” Rogers bit out. “You four, get the harpy. You guys, get the sylph. And someone toss the bun’s head over the rails. She’s no one important.”“Bastard!” Awen yelled.Her hand came up, and as everyone looked, a wicked knife materialized in her hand with a crackle like glass being stepped on.It swung down with all of Awen’s desperate force, and even Golden Roger’s attempt to duck the blow didn’t stop her from planting the blade to the hilt in his thigh. Then the hilt shattered, leaving only a centimeter of jagged glass poking out of his leg.He grunted, letting go of Awen to grasp at the wound.Awen landed on her knees, then shot up to her feet and started running towards me. One of the pirates tried to grab her, but a thunder crack sliced the air and he went flying back with a howl.“This way!” Bastion yelled.Awen crashed into me, hugging me tight and close. “I-I I thought... awa!”“It’s okay,” I said. “But we need to go.”Bastion waved at something over the side of the ship, and it didn’t take a genius to figure that the Manatee was there waiting for us. Still, I couldn’t jump to it without seeing it, so I pulled Awen along with me towards the edge even as the ship started to bump and lurch.“I destroyed the engines,” Awen said. “The ship’s going down.”I laughed. “Awesome work!” I said as I reached the rails.The Manatee was some three dozen meters away. Far enough down that I was sure I could make the jump. I wasn’t sure about Awen though.“Do you know how to swim?” I asked her.“Awa? I mean, no. I’m from a desert, Broccoli.”“Right.” No throwing her into the sea to pick her up. Not that that was really an option to begin with. “We’re going to jump together,” I said as I grabbed onto the rigging. Awen swallowed, but pulled herself up with a similar rope and came to stand on the rails next to me.Amaryllis ran past us and vaulted the rail. “Move!” she said.Bastion backed up near the rail. He was holding off a few of them all on his own. “Jump!”I nodded, bent my knees, grabbed Awen, then jumped.Awen screamed, even as I held her close, but the noise of it was drowned out by the passing wind.And then something wrapped around my foot and yanked me back.I had just a moment to react, a fraction of a second to put two and two together.I threw Awen ahead and towards the Manatee.The rope around my ankle turned my jump into a swing, and I found myself rushing towards the ship. It was only pure luck that had me twisting around enough to hit the side of the Golden Grove’s Revenge with my untied foot. The bang made my teeth rattle, and hanging upside down wasn’t the best for my sense of direction.Looking up, I followed the cord to the rails above, where a couple of pirates were leering down at me. Bastion was already in the air, flying towards the Manatee.At least my friends were safe?They started tugging me up.I couldn’t cut the rope. Not with nowhere to go but splat into the sea far below. And I couldn’t allow them to pull me all the way up either. They were already seeing way too much leg for my liking.Another tug, and I was suddenly much closer to one of the portholes on the side of the ship.I grinned.Three fireballs appeared in my hand and I aimed down my body and up the ship towards the pirates looking over the edge.They ducked as the balls of fire zipped past them and slapped into the balloon above.I groaned and focused against the blood rushing to my head.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.The next salvo had one fireball hit the rope, singing it a little and lighting it on fire. Perfect! I tugged down, grabbing the edge of the porthole and pulling closer to it until I was able to punch the window open.When the rope finally snapped, I almost flew off, but a lurch in the ship helped me grab the edge of the window and I managed to slip my head and arms in. My back still bent awkwardly-and painfully-over the rim, but I was in.In... a cabin? I scrambled to the floor next to a small cot and used a tiny desk to break my fall a little. The cabin was cramped, with barely any room to move. But that was just fine for me. It gave me a spot to rest for just a moment and catch my breath.I was in a bit of a predicament. I couldn’t exactly hide forever, and the ship’s constant lurching hinted that Awen had done a great job sabotaging it. The pirate ship going down was good. The ship going down with me in it was decidedly not.Looking around, I tried to find something to use as a weapon. “Sword, no. Musket? No.” I muttered as I looked around. “Ah!” Sitting on the corner of the desk was a heavy iron candle holder. It had a big blunt bottom and a long stem. Perfect.With a small pause to rub the ache out of my back a bit, I opened the door and poked my head out into an empty corridor.The Golden Grove’s Revenge looked like a ship with three decks or so. I was pretty sure I was on the bottom-most. Unless the keel space counted as a deck? I needed to brush up on nautical terminology.I bent my ears back for extra stealthiness, and started tip-toeing along the corridor, candleholder in hand.The ship rocked under me, swaying violently to one side and throwing me against a wall.I realized too late that I wasn’t bumping into a wall, but a door.It slammed open and I tumbled into a large, low-ceilinged room filled with hammocks and five very confused pirates.They looked at me.I looked at them.“She’s one of them that attacked us!” one of them shouted.I ducked back out of the door, but not before flinging a couple of fireballs across the room. One splattered against an oil-lamp next to the hammocks, breaking the glass and splashing burning oil all over the hanging beds around it.I didn’t have time for caution, so I darted down the corridor, and when I arrived at a staircase at the end I ran up three steps at a time. The deck above was sorta split down the middle. Part of it was filled with cargo. Crates and boxes and barrels all neatly stacked and held in place by nets. The other half was partially walled off, with a large engine in its middle that was being fussed over by a pair of very distressed young men.“It’s still heating up!”“What do you mean it’s still heating up? We’re nearly out of coolant!”“The coolant’s pissing all over the floor... wait, there’s glass in it.”“Glass?”“Like, sandy glass bits? The radiator’s a mess.”“We need to flush it.”“We’ll need to flush the fuel too. Wait.. the fuel line’s been cut. Right here.”“That’s not right... if it was cut, then why isn’t it leaking?”“Look, it was spliced in here. That’s... that’s the oil reservoir.”“No wonder it’s running hot. We need to cut this out and drain both the oil and the fuel, and the radiator too, for good measure.”“Can’t do that while the engine’s running, and if it stops running we’re going to be taking a swim.”I licked my lips and cleared my throat for attention. Obviously Awen had done a number on what looked like the ship’s gravity engine. The two mechanics were twisting and turning over the machine, only touching it gingerly on account of all the heat coming off of it. And it was a lot of heat, there was even a haze in the air around the machine.“Um, sorry to interrupt,” I said. “But does this ship have lifeboats?”The two men looked over to me.“Who’s that?”“Never saw her. I’d know if there was a bun on the crew.”“She a pirate?”“Can pirates be pirated?”“I don’t think it’s time for semantics.”I waved at them to calm down. “I just want to know if we’re going to crash or something,” I said.They looked at each other. “Probably not.”“We’re good. As long as the balloon holds its air, there’s no danger.”The balloon that I had poked some flaming holes into. I was about to ask if that would have an impact on the ship staying in the air, but the rumble of feet rushing up the stairs behind me cut off my plans to talk. “Okay, thanks and bye!” I said as I shot past them. I only paused to kick over a gallon drum with ‘oil’ printed on its side.The mechanics screamed and started rushing around to clean up the mess before it reached the engine.The far end of the room had another stairwell, this one stopped at the next floor up, but I didn’t pause to look around and just bolted up to the topdeck.It was chaos. A team of sailors were placing patches against the balloon, others were repairing some of the ropes we’d cut in our little scuffle across the deck.In the middle of it all, Golden Rogers stood tall and proud, barking orders and pointing this way and that to direct his men. “Why aren’t those sails out yet? Divert more power to turning. Make sure you don’t lose sight of them. We’re going to run down that little skiff of theirs if it’s the last thing we do.”I turned this way and that, looking for a place to hide. Maybe I could join my friends if they managed to catch up to them? But then we'll have to deal with this ship again. Maybe I could steal a lifeboat and sabotage the ship some more? That would maybe allow us to get away, and I could rejoin my friends in Needleford. Assuming I could navigate my way over.I just had to keep the shore to my left.Feet thumping behind me had me diving for cover behind some boxes. I needed a moment to plan.And then someone rude grabbed my ears and dragged me up. “If you’re going to hide, bun, then don’t leave your filthy ears poking out above cover!”I was in a spot of trouble.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Five — Jumping Ship
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Five — Jumping Ship “Ow, ow, ow!” I squeaked as I got to my feet, the insistent tugging at the base of my ears not giving me that much of a choice in the matter. “Let go!”“Captain!” the very rude man holding onto my ears called out. “We’ve got ourselves a stowaway!”Through my wince, I saw Golden Rogers turning to look our way, then grinning so wide that his sparkly teeth glinted yellow in the sunlight. “What a nice catch,” he purred. The captain started walking my way, past the sailors mending their Bastion-given cuts on the deck and those carrying around rolls of canvas to patch the holes in the balloon above. “We’ll be using your hide to fix the holes you’ve made in my ship,” he said.I really didn’t want to be a patch.I lifted my candleholder before me-and taking a leaf from Awen’s playbook-stabbed down and back as hard and fast as I could.I knew it wasn’t nice, but under the circumstances it was probably just a little warranted.The meanie holding onto my ears gasped and tightened his grip. That was the opposite of what I wanted! I pushed back into him, then brought my heel down onto his foot. Finally he let go and I bounced off towards the centre of the deck where I had more room to move.“Tsk, tsk, little bun,” Golden Rogers said. “You should have just let me and my boys take care of you. Now when you die, you’ll do so tired.” The pirate captain reached to his hip and pulled out a sword. “Perhaps I’ll take your head myself?”I stared at it. “That’s... kind of disappointing,” I said.The man blinked. “Pardon?”“Is that a long sword?” I asked.Golden Rogers raised his sword to his side in a high stance. It showed off the very pretty basket hilt. “It’s a backsword, actually.”“Oh. I was expecting a cutlass. You know, since you’re a pirate and all. It’s a bit disappointing.”Rogers spat to the side and shifted stances a little. “Are you going to put up a fight at all, or are you just going to mock the sword that will take your head?”“I’d really rather no-” I cut off as Golden Rogers shot ahead, his sword sweeping through the air on a direct path to taking my head off.I brought the candleholder up, parrying the blow with a ring of steel on silver and a grunt as my wrist took the hit a bit wrong. He was strong.The next swing came from above and I ducked down, only to realize that he was bringing his leg up to kick me at the same time.I tasted Roger’s boot for just a moment before my head snapped back and I stumbled onto my bum a few paces away. “Ah!” I said past a cut lip.Rogers didn’t seem the type to pass an opportunity to kick someone while they were down. Literally.I shoved his leg aside with my forearm, then noticed the white bandage wrapped around his thigh. Awen’s parting gift.The candleholder came up, and even though I couldn’t put much force into the blow, it still seemed to hurt when the silver-leaf end jammed into his wound.Jumping to my feet, I backed up all of two paces before the pirate swung at me again. I ducked the first swing, then smacked the second aside with the candle holder.As soon as I could, I glanced around.I was surrounded. The entire crew on deck had gathered to watch us fight. No, not all of it, some were still at work, but most were leering and cheering at their bit of bloodsport. I had to cut my observation short, or else my body would be short a head.“Can we not?” I asked. “Please?”“I do like it when they put up a fight,’ Rogers said.“Creep!” I shoved forwards, intent on poking the man in the chest with the candleholder, but he swiped it out of the air and held on tight to the haft of it.“You know, this was a gift from my sister-in-law,” he said.I let go of the stick, hopped to the side, then sprinted across the circle of onlookers.Something hot slashed across my back, just over the edge of my armour. I hissed, but kept on moving forwards.The pirate I was heading towards looked with widening eyes as I bounced up, then used his shoulder as a board to launch myself even higher.“You’re just prolonging the inevitable,” Rogers said as his circle of men broke up and he followed me.I landed against one of those netted ladders and hung on for dear life with one hand while the other reached up and around my neck to the warm wetness there. I was bleeding. “Ow,” I whined as the sting kept on going. I glanced at my health, and winced. I was down thirty points!Most of the time, when something hurt, it was an over and done thing. Not the cut he’d given me though. I really need a bandage. And some plasters. Maybe a hug. A hug would be good.I sniffled and started climbing up the net for a lack of better things to do. At least it would get me away from all the pirates, even if it meant hanging out on top of the balloon all on my own. “Get it together Broccoli,” I muttered as I left a trail of red handprints behind me.I wasn’t alone. Not really. My friends were nearby, they were safe. Maybe they’d grab the Beaver Cleaver and come after us? Or maybe they’d assume I was dead already?I bit my lower lip against the pain and pulled myself up higher. Soon, I was at the end of the net ladder and near to the top of the balloon. The surface above was all thick tarp, with ribs where the structure inside the balloon showed.Stepping onto the tarp, I spread my arms out and kept my balance as I pushed across to the middle.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.If a group of pirates came, I could run off the other side, or maybe down the back or middle?I wasn’t expecting to have them come up from just about every direction all at once. Golden-toothed grins and cruel catcalls greeted me from all sides as I turned around and tried to find any direction that didn’t have someone waiting to catch and hurt me.Golden Rogers took his time coming up, and when he did he stood up on the edge of the circle and slid his sword out of its sheath in a single, slow motion. “You know, this isn’t a bad place to go,” he called over the rush of wind.“I’d rather just not,” I said.“Ah, come now. The wind in your hair, the sun shining above, the sea spread out below. It’s fit for a poem is what it is.” He gestured and his men jeered and hollered their agreement. “You’re a captain, aren’t you?”I swallowed and nodded. “I am,” I said.“Then perhaps I ought to at least give you the honours of putting some effort into ending you,” he replied easily.“Insight,” I muttered.Golden Rogers, Sky Pirate Captain, level ??I would have been better off not knowing after all. “I really don't want to die,” I said. “Not alone.”The man smiled. There was even a hint of actual pity there. “There’s always the jump, girl. Perhaps the World will give you an out and throw you to shore? But I’m afraid your fate, and soon that of your friends, will be sealed. You can thank that old bastard Abraham.”“What did he ever do to you?” I asked.Rogers tilted his head to the side. “Why, he cost me my first ship. And what a nice little ship it was. Not to mention a few good crewmates, and half my teeth.”“Did he just attack you?” I asked.Rogers shrugged. “We tried taking his ship. I, for one, think he overreacted a little. So I plan on kidnapping his niece and sending him her head in a neat little crate. Or maybe I’ll just extort him for all the gold he’s willing to part with. I’m a fair kind of man.”I licked my lips and looked around for something to grab, and sort of weapon. The candleholder was long gone. I wasn’t carrying anything. Back when I’d been adventuring on the ground I had a bandoleer with stuff in it, but that was still on the Beaver. Adventuring gear didn’t seem needed in a city.If I survived, I’d start carrying some more gear with me.That left me with only magic as a weapon. Magic that was generally pretty flashy. I didn’t doubt that Rogers could close the distance between us long before I hit him with a fireball or two. Not that that would be enough to really stop him.Then I looked down, and the slightly spongy surface I was standing on.“I guess I’ll be jumping after all,” I said.“Oh?” Golden Rogers asked. “The coward’s way out?”“Something like that,” I said.I planted a boot on one of the reinforced bands atop the balloon, bunched up my leg, then jumped as hard and fast as I could.There was no enjoying the time in the air. Instead I focused as hard as I could, forming fireballs in my hands with as much mana as I could spare poured into them, more than I’d ever dared use back at the Albatross mansion.The pirates said a whole host of rude things as nine fireballs rained down around them. A few burst apart in mid-air, some sniped by mages in the group, others falling apart, probably because they were so poorly made.Not all of them missed though.A few of the faster fireballs poked right through the gas bag, and some of them splattered onto the canvas and started eating away at it with hungry flames. Air hissed out of the ballon, and where it touched the flame, they flared and roared.Rogers started shouting orders right away while stepping toward my landing siteI hoped that the fire would be enough to stall the ship until my friends could get away.And then, just as I was about to land and Golden Rogers was about to turn my head into a pincushion, lightning tore out of the empty sky and struck the side of the balloon.I landed in a wobbly crouch, made worse when a second thunderclap rang out from below and something exploded. A glance off the side and I saw one of the ship’s paddle wheels taking off with a wild spin into the sky.And then I saw it. The Manatee, rushing up with tiny figures aboard pointing this way and that.“It was nice seeing your ship,” I told the captain. “But I’d rather not see it again.”Confusion sparked in his eyes for just a moment before I threw myself off the side. My jump was far from perfect, owing to the spongy footing and the way the ship was rocking. Still, it carried me far enough away from Golden’s ship that I had time to make it out in full as I fell past.There was smoke coming out from a few portholes, and the crew was running about in a panic on the deck while others tried to climb off the balloon in a hurry.And then I was past and falling towards the sea below.I tried to twist and angle myself towards the Manatee, but a trick of the wind and a bit of poor timing had me tumbling past my friends.I sighed, the sound torn from my lips. That was some bad luck.Nothing came to mind about how to survive crashing into water from a crazy height. Which was quite annoying.And then a pair of small but strong arms grabbed me around the waist. “Hang on, captain,” Bastion called over the rush of the wind. “I can’t fly with the both of us, but I can slow us down. Or at least soften the landing.”I started to laugh. Or maybe I was crying.In either case, I was soon too wet for anyone to tell the difference.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Six — Picking Up Strays
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Six — Picking Up Strays It had been a while since I’d gone swimming. Last time, I had been at a lake wearing a very sensible swimsuit, not a gambeson with a steel plate around my chest and an armoured skirt.I beat my legs to keep afloat in the choppy waters, my hat only hanging on because it was caught in my ears. My hair was wet and plastered to my face, and the soreness of running around and fighting a bunch was catching up to me.Also, salt water was seeping into the cut on my back which really wasn’t great.“Broccoli!” Bastion called out.The paladin, if anything, looked worse off than I did, with his wings all sticky and his skin looking rather pale in the water. “Hey,” I said. I was waving my arms from side to side to push myself up. However, at the rate we were going, I wouldn’t be able to keep that up forever.“Look!” he called out, one arm rising to point above.I blinked water out of my eyes, then saw the darkening form of something dropping closer and closer to us from above. Soon enough, I could make out Awen’s face hanging off one side. She was saying something, but it was lost in the heaving water.“Hey! We’re here!” I shouted.Awen called something out and pointed our way.The Manatee dropped down a few more meters until it was hovering just over the water, the occasional wave kissing the keel and making the little skiff shudder. I swam towards it and came to a stop as close to its side as I could manage with Bastion coming up behind me.“Broccoli!” Awen said. Her eyes were wet, and I wasn’t sure if it was from all the sea spray or not. “Grab my hand!”Getting aboard was a bit of a hassle. Awen wasn’t strong enough to just lift me up, not when I was soaking wet, and I didn’t feel like I was in tip-top shape either. Oda ended up grabbing my other arm and yanking me aboard so hard and fast that I flopped to the bottom of the boat and became one with the deck.“Hi,” I said between pants. My everything was sore, and I suddenly found myself without the least bit of energy to spare.Awen crashed onto my chest and hugged me to within an inch of my life, which was very nice, but I couldn’t properly appreciate it.Bastion barely needed any help getting aboard, he just needed a hand on the edge to pull himself up. “We should get moving,” he said. “That ship is coming closer.”I blinked and stretched my head up to see past Awen’s head and to the big blue sky above. The Golden Grove’s Revenge was indeed, growing bigger bit by bit. It was trailing a lot of smoke too.“Awen destroyed their gravity engine,” I said. “And I set their balloon on fire.”“A ship of that size will have an auxiliary engine,” Bastion said. “And if they’re pirates, then they’ll know how to patch their balloon in a hurry. They might be listing now, but it won’t last forever.”Amaryllis came over and stood over me with talons on hips. “You’re an idiot,” she said. “And we need to get going.”“I’ll get on the pedals,” I said as I tried to push myself up.Awen shoved me back down with just one hand. “You’re injured,” she said. “Does anyone have any bandages?”“It’s just a scratch,” I said.“Awen, take care of Broccoli,” Amaryllis said with a snap. “Bastion, you good to pedal still?”“I’m fine. I had a bit of a rest in the water there. I’m nice and fresh for more action.”“Joe, get on the other pedals, Sally, help me with the sails. Oda, check our fuel, we’ve been burning a lot hovering here. Come on people, we need to outpace these idiots back to Needleford.”“What are we going to do once we’re back there?” I asked.Awen moved to kneel by my side, and lacking any bandages, tore off a strip from her shirt before anyone could protest and started applying pressure to the cut over my neck.”Once we’re back, then we’ll be safe,” Awen said.I grinned and patted her on the knee. “Yeah, I guess so.”“We shouldn’t stay in Needleford,” Amaryllis said. “We seem to be a bit faster than the Golden, especially in the state it’s in, but I wouldn’t want to fight that entire crew aboard the Beaver. We land, we jump aboard the Beaver, we make sure we have enough fuel, then we leave. Even if it means slipping out of the port without clearance.”“And what about us?” Joe asked.The boy had been pretty quiet for a bit, obeying Amaryllis’ barked orders without much hesitation, but I think that now that we were out of the worse danger his patience was coming to an end.Amaryllis eyed him for a bit. “We can give you a bit of gold for the help you’ve done us,” she said.“Gold is nice, but it won’t save our hides when Rogers comes back.”“Can’t we report him for piracy?” I asked. “And for kidnapping Awen?”“We’re the ones that attacked his ship in this case, and I suspect that Miss Bristlecone’s... bounty... is entirely real,” Bastion said. “For that matter, if he’s using a port so brazenly he’s either strong enough that it doesn’t matter, or he has some political backing.”I groaned a bit and used what little strength I had left to sit up. My whole body felt really noodly, like I hadn’t eaten anything in a long time, then went for a jog. Awen helped me up a little so that I sat with my back pressed to the side of the Manatee. “Hey, Joe,” I said. “I’m sorry that you got dragged into all of this. You too, Sally, and Oda.”Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.“It’s alright?” Oda said.I shook my head. “It really isn’t. But maybe we can make the best of it? You guys wanted to travel a bit, right? Become proper pirates? You could hop aboard the Beaver. We’re going to Sylphfree, but we’ll probably be making a few stops along the way.”“I’d strongly advise finding somewhere other than Sylphfree to practice any sort of piracy,” Bastion said. “Else you might find yourselves on the wrong side of my blade.”I blinked. “That sounded really cool. Do they like, teach you how to sound intimidating in Paladin school?”Bastion chuckled. “We do have lessons on speech and mannerisms. But not on how to threaten youngsters who want to become pirates.”“We’re not youngsters,” Joe said. “And we don’t need your help.”Sally shifted away from the sails to look back to her friend. “Joe...” she began.“You can’t seriously want to go with them?”Sally looked away. “I don’t know. It’s away from Needleford. And it’s aboard a ship. We could bring the Manatee. And our things. It wouldn’t be a loss, we’d just be starting somewhere else.”“I think our next stop is meant to be near the Hoofbreaker woods,” I said. “Um, near the cervid place, but not actually there since people tell me that they’re trouble.”“The only time you ever met any, as far as I know, they tried to kill you,” Amaryllis said.Sally bit her cheek, then turned to face me. “You, ah, live a very exciting life. And I think we want that, but I’m not sure if we’re ready for it.”“You could always stay at Needleford, we wouldn’t stop you,” I said.“We can’t,” Oda said. “We were last seen in your company, then a short while later, a small ship took off after Golden Rogers. Everyone will know that the small ship must be ours.”“You think Rogers would go after you?” I asked. I didn’t need to ask, the answer was obvious. If he could hold a grudge against Abraham after so long, I didn’t doubt he’d be angry at the scallywags too. “Ah, darn, he would.”“So, we have to go,” Joe said.“You could take off in another direction,” I offered. “We have a bit of gold and stuff we could give you. Just fly due north. We can point you to a mining camp, or you could go to Port Royal.”Joe closed his eyes, feet still pedalling as he sank into his own thoughts. Oda and Sally kept eying him. He was their leader, I supposed, or at the very least one of their friends and one who sorta led them. I looked past him and into the sky where Golden Roger’s ship was slowly regaining altitude even as it sank back in the distance.It was turning around, but at a snail’s pace. By the time it was back to the height it had been before we’d be halfway to Needleford already.“Fine,” Joe said. “We’ll join your ship, and bring the Manatee and as much of our gear as we can manage. But we’re not staying with you. The first port we hit, we’re off.”“Brilliant!” I said. “We’ll be sure to pay you as if you were part of the crew, right Amaryllis?”“Obviously,” she said. “Besides, three more sailors would bring the Beaver’s compliment to full. We’ve been flying with half the crew we ought to have for a while now.”“We’ve been doing alright,” I said.“We have,” Amaryllis agreed. “But one sick crewmate or two and we’d be anchored and unable to move on.”I nodded. “Yeah. It’ll be nice to have some help. Not that you guys need to help. If all you need is a ride, then we can certainly give you that much. We owe you. You helped us save Awen.”Awen blushed and tried a smile on. “I... I was really afraid.”“How did they grab you anyway?” I asked. “One moment you were there, the next you weren’t.”She shuffled over to the opposite side of the boat. It was small enough that our legs still tangled in the middle. “I... awa, I don’t know. I was following you, and then everything went dark. I tried to scream, but something hit my chest.” She pressed a hand a little over her tummy. “I couldn’t breath for a bit.”“What nasty people,” I said.“Awa! I knew you’d come, so I tried to stay calm, and then I wondered what you would do.”“Oh?” I said.She nodded. “But I can’t make friends like you can, so I tried to think of what Amaryllis would do.”Amaryllis snorted. “So you did something smart.”“Um,” Awen said. “Well, they had my hands and legs tied, so I made a glass knife and cut myself free, then I escaped and found their gravity engine and switched some of the tubing around, and I filled the fuel bunker with glass shards.”“The tank should have a sock to prevent that,” Oda said.Awen nodded. “I tore it off. It was an older Hazel model. With the reservoir on the side. Only one filter. Um. The glass would just clog things up. Leading to more heat, and maybe some misfires. They’ll need to flush the system to remove it all.”I gave her a thumb’s up. “You did super.”Awen grinned. “I don’t think I would have done anything at all even just a month ago.”“Bah, that’s silly. You’re one of my friends, that means you’re totally awesome,” I said.She seemed cheered up, which was more than I could say about all of the scallywags. I’d have to see if we could give them a proper welcome once we were aboard the Beaver.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Double-Time
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Double-Time I didn’t know how stressed I was until Needleford came into sight and I could make out the yellow splash that was the Beaver Cleaver tucked away in the city’s airship port.A deep breath escaped me, and I melted into the side of the Manatee. Safe. We were safe. Or at least, we’d be safe in a little bit.The others insisted that I stay seated so as to not reopen my cut. It was very silly of them. I was fine. A bit tired, but fine.Which meant that there was no time like the present to look at what I’d gained stats-wise from all the fighting and running and fireballing.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Mad Millinery skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!That made some sense. I’d been wearing my captain’s hat all day. It didn’t exactly have skills that were too useful aboard Golden Roger’s ship, but I supposed I had acted a bit captain-y. Or maybe the skill went up because I looked particularly dashing with all the plumes and broaches atop my head?Oh well, I wouldn’t say no to an upgrade.New Skill Acquired: CaptainingRank: EI blinked.Then it clicked. Mad Millinery had gone up a rank, and then the subskill I gained from that skill inherited the same rank. So they matched. That made sense. It was actually a nice change. Most skills didn't seem to do much below Rank D, so it was good to get closer to that.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Dancing skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) Class Skill Point!Dancing was up! That wasn’t too surprising. I’d been practicing that one for a bit, what with the ball and dancing around baddies. “Hey, Amaryllis, or, uh, I guess Awen too. What does Dancing do at Rank C? The one where you need a point?”Amaryllis looked away from Needleford in the rapidly shortening distance and back towards me. I probably looked a bit too comfy pressed up against the side with my hands interlaced atop my tummy. “Dancing at disciple? That depends on whether it’s a specific kind or not. I think the skill just called Dancing allows you to spend mana to predict your partner’s movements.”“It’s a useful combat skill, but only when fighting against people specifically targeting you. In a melee it’s not as useful, and seeing a blow come isn’t always enough to dodge or parry it,” Bastion added.“Cool,” I said.I wouldn’t put a point in it yet, but maybe once I got Cleaning up one more rank I’d drop a few points into it. I had a few skills that I wouldn’t mind upgrading, but for now, the priority was on getting Cleaning to Rank S. I didn’t know what would happen then, but I bet it would be awesome!I yawned as my friends started talking about dancing and the like. It was hard to follow the conversation, especially when I noticed that I was shivering a bit. I had to get changed as soon as we landed. I didn’t have any soup on the Beaver so getting a cold was out of the question.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Way of the Mystic Bun skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!I grinned. That was great! Way of the Mystic Bun was pretty much my go-to fighting skill. It was actually about time that I started getting a bit stronger. I didn’t want to be a fighter, but if I was going to keep running into mean people like Golden Rogers... yeah, I needed to get stronger.Plus it wouldn’t do for a captain to be weak, that would just be lame.As we swooped down and Amaryllis started shifting things around so that we’d land right on the Beaver, I let my head rest back and pulled up my main stats page. I hadn’t been paying it as much attention as I probably should have, so it was good to take a look at it again.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
10
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
2
Age
16
Health
135
Stamina
145
Mana
130
Resilience
45
Flexibility
60
Magic
25
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 37%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 00%
Gardening
D — 24%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 92%
Mad Millinery
E — 00%
General Skills
Insight
C — 87%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
F — 65%
Friendmaking
C — 56%
Matchmaking
E — 32%
Cinnamon Bun Skill Points
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
4
Wonderlander Skill Points
1
General Skill Points
4
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
5
That looked pretty good. I didn’t have anything to compare my growth to, really, but for someone that had only been around for... about a month? I felt like I was doing alright. A bit slower now than when I was caught in Threewells, but that was fine, I had friends now.I still needed to grow some more. Maybe after this whole debacle with the Sylph we could take the Beaver Cleaver and explore some neat dungeons.For now I had a bunch of General Skill Slots left open. That was five skills I could still learn! There were so many neat things available. Maybe one or two airship-related skills? Or maybe Dragon Riding. That had to be a skill!I yawned. It wasn’t even late, and I wasn’t shivering anymore, so I wasn’t quite sure why I felt a little tired, but it was okay.The Manatee slowed down as Amaryllis deployed more sail, and we went around in a big circle before Amaryllis guided us nice and slowly between the Beaver Cleaver’s deck and its great big balloon.Clive was there, a pipe dangling from the corner of his mouth as he helped Gordon lower the Manatee onto the deck. “Ahoy there ladies and gents. Wasn’t expecting much by means of guests, especially not delivered like this.”“No time for pleasantries I’m afraid,” Amaryllis said as she jumped off and landed on the Beaver with a thump. “Did we get refueled yet?” she asked.“Not yet, ma’am,” Clive said. “Steve’s off too, getting some supplies for the galley.”Amaryllis huffed. “Fine. Gordon, come with me. We need to put pressure to get the ship in tip-top shape. Clive get us ready to launch. These three kids are yours now.”I started to climb up and Awen jumped to help me. “Careful,” she said. “You look a bit pale.”“I’m probably fine,” I said. “Just need to get dry.”I noticed Amaryllis and Gordon running off the deck to one side while Clive stood there and puffed away. “You look like you ran into a spot of trouble, Captain.”“Yeah, something like that,” I said. “Some jerks kidnapped Awen, so we went to rescue her. She’d figured it out though, at least, mostly.”“Awa, I would still have been stranded on Roger’s ship.” Awen helped me over the edge, keeping an arm across my back as she did. “I think you need to rest Broccoli.”“‘M fine,” I said.Bastion appeared next to me. I didn’t see him move, the sneaky paladin. He pressed a hand to my forehead and frowned. “That cut, what was it from?”“Huh? Uh. Roger’s sword?”“I think you might have been poisoned,” he said. “It wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine that kind of man putting something lethal on his weapon.”“I used Clean on the wounds,” I said. “I... think I did?”“It wouldn’t take much,” Bastion said. “Clive, I’m heading into the city. Awen, I suppose that means you’re in charge along with Clive here. Try to get as much ready as you can.”“Awa?! Broccoli!” Awen said. She was by my side, but hesitated, hands wiggling as if she wanted to grab me but didn’t know if she should. Bastion started walking away, and the others all kind of just looked around.“Where’re you going?” I asked Bastion.“I’ll be back soon,” he said, which didn’t answer my question at all.Clive took one last puff, then stepped to the side of the ship and tapped his pipe off over the edge. He turned to the Scallywags and fixed them with a birdy glare. “Right, you lot. Seems like you’re working alongside me now. I’m Clive, I do all the ship stuff on this here beauty of a vessel. By the looks of it, I was a veteran when you lot were still twinkles in your daddy’s eye. Let’s get that skiff secured on the starboard deck. You.” He pointed to Joe. “You know your ropes?”“Uh, yeah,” Joe said.“Good. Undo every-other mooring. Every other. Not just any half of them. Do it evenly.” He stuffed his pipe in a pocket, then moved over to the Manatee. “My old bones can’t lift this thing on their own. Take your ends.”“Come on,” Awen said as she guided me towards the back.“We should be helping,” I said.“We can help later. You need to lay down to rest a bit.” She brought a hand up and touched my cheek. “You’re very hot.”“I’ve always thought of myself as a bit more plain actually,” I said.Awen giggled and held the door to the port cabin open for me. We stumbled our way down. The ship must have been rocking a little because it was hard to stay up on the steps. Awen slipped into my room and looked around all of my dressers in a hurry. She laid out some underthings on my bed with a blush, and a nightgown next to that. “H-here, can you put these on while I wait?”“I should take a shower first,” I said.“Awa? Can’t you use Cleaning on yourself?”I blinked. “You’re so clever Awen.”“I don’t think I’m all that clever, Broccoli,” Awen said. “Can you clean the poison away too? Maybe that’ll help?”I frowned. Not at her of course, just frowned in general. “You know, you can call me Broc if you want. And I’ll call you... uh... Awen, I can’t make your name shorter.”Awen laughed. “That’s okay. It’s already small.”“But making it smaller would be even cuter.”Awen shrugged. “You could call me Awa?”I shook my head. “No no, that’s your noise. It’s like... Awen’s trademark sound.”“Trademark?” she repeated. “Ah, it’s just... when I was a baby, I made that noise a lot. It’s why my parents called me Awen. They thought it was nice. Until I grew old enough to speak and my mother... she didn’t like it anymore. Um. I’ll leave you to get changed.”“Right,” I said.“Broc?” Awen asked as she stood by the door. “Thanks for coming to save me.”I grinned back. It must have been a good grin because my cheeks felt nice and rosey from it. “No problem. You know I’d do nearly anything for one of my best friends.”Awen nodded and pulled the door shut. “Tell me when you’re done.”You’d think that with the amount of times I’d changed my clothes before, it would be really easy to change again, but I kept dropping things and having to shift around to keep my balance. I did manage eventually though. I used up a bit of mana to clean myself off too, of course. It didn’t help with wiggly feeling in my tummy though. The nightgown was very pretty, with lace trim and a sort of silky material that felt really nice. “I’m done!” I called out.Awen opened the door a crack and peeked in. “Ah, good. Um. Did you... awa, want me to tuck you in?”“You sure I need to sleep?” I asked. “I’m not tired.” I scrunched my nose. “Not too tired.”“It’ll make you feel better. Remember, Bastion thinks you were poisoned.”“He could be wrong. I don’t feel poisoned.”Awen came over and moved the blankets aside on my bunk, then pressed me back down so that I was sitting. “Lay down,” she said.I mumbled something that even I didn’t understand, then Awen pulled my blankets up and pressed them down around my collar. “Just try to feel better, okay?”I nodded. Maybe I did need to rest. I felt really tired. “Okay. Good night Awen.”“I’ll be here, okay Broc?”I nodded, and then I slipped into sleep.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Untoxication
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Untoxication I swam out of the dark, then slid back in.My breathing was always hard and laboured, and I felt everything pressing down around me. Heavy. Everything was heavy.Sometimes I’d swim to the surface, only to find the world nightmarish and twisted, things clawing at me, and wetness pressing down all over.The nightmares would fade though. Someone would always come in, with light and noise to cast away the dark and droning silence. I’d feel a touch, fingers and talons, feathers and whispers, and for a while the light would turn the cloying dark into something kinder.These were my friends. I couldn’t put a face to them, and their names were nothing to me, but I knew, even as I laboured to breathe and fought against the rising tide, that they were the people I loved most of all, and that they were there because they loved me too.And then, eventually, the darkness faded back, and when I sank once more it wasn’t into the oily black of nightmares, but the quiet bliss of dreamless sleep.I awoke some time later, feeling like the day after leg-day, but everywhere at once. I blinked and brought an arm up to get the eye gunk out of my eyes. It was almost as if someone was forcing my arm back down.Persistence in the face of common sense was always my forte though, so I managed to get my hand close to my face, then let it fall down so that I could brush the crud away.“Urgh,” I said.I hadn’t felt this tired in a long time, and yet I couldn’t fall asleep. I wasn’t sleepy-tired, I was just exhausted. And sweaty. And I had to pee.With nature’s call prodding me on, I turned to my side, then used both arms to push myself up. My legs slipped off the side of my bunk and I just kinda sat there, heart racing as if I’d sprinted a hundred meters instead of just sitting up.I closed my eyes, let the dizziness pass, then tried to get up.Then I failed to get up.On my second attempt, I grabbed the little end table next to my bed, conveniently bolted to the floor, then hauled myself to my feet.I stumbled over to my cabin’s ensuite, and did my business with some difficulty. Then it was back to my room.My plan was to get dressed and head out to see my friends. From the little window above my bed I knew we were over the sea and in the sky, the sky bright and cheery, but that was all. It was my job as captain to be informed and to help where I could.Instead, I flopped onto my bed and fell right back asleep.Someone woke me up a few hours later. “Broc?”I turned my head to the side to see Awen standing above me, blonde hair glowing in the light of the setting sun just outside the window. “Hmmph,” I said.“You’re, um, meant to sleep with all of your body on the bed,” she said. I felt something grabbing my feet. “You’re kinda half-off.”“That’s how I landed,” I said.“Landed?”“Had to use the washroom.”“Oh,” she said. “Ah... well, okay? Can I move you? I’ll tuck you in again.”I nodded into the bed, too weak to really protest as Awen shifted me around and pulled the blankets over to cover me. “Thanks,” I said.“No problem,” Awen replied. “You have a lot more energy.”I yawned, putting some doubt on that. “How long has it been?”“We left Needleford two days ago. You slept all day yesterday. We were worried, but Bastion knows a bit of stuff about medicine, and he gave you some antidotes. You were delirious, but it broke this morning.”“Oh,” I said.Awen moved away, and for a moment I was worried she was leaving, but she returned with a cup and a rag. “Can you drink? I can wet the rag if not.”I nodded. “Can you help me sit up?”It took some doing, and a couple of pillows that Awen fetched from somewhere, but I managed to sit up enough that I was able to drink with just a bit of help.“Joe is actually a pretty good cook,” Awen said. “I’ll ask him to make some soup for later.”“Soup would be good,” I said.The door to my room opened and Amaryllis stomped in. She looked worried until she saw me sitting up, then her expression pinched and she looked like a bird who just saw a squirrel in her feeder. “So, you’re finally awake,” she said. “Do you have any idea how much trouble your nap has caused?”“Thanks for worrying,” I said.“I didn’t worry, you imbecile!” she screeched. “Do you know that it’s illegal in harpy airspace to just dump a body overboard? We would have had to keep you rotting in the hold for who knows how long. I bet you’d stink as a corpse.”I smiled. “That’s a very confusing way to say that you’re happy to see me alive,” I said.“Hardly,” she said. “Awen, is she actually better?”“I think so?” Awen said. “She’s drinking, and she can move a little. Um, it might take some time before she recovers, maybe. I’m a mechanic, not a doctor.”“I feel much better,” I said. I tried to gesture for emphasis, but all I did was knock my cup of water over and spill some all over myself. “Ah, oops?” I said.“You moron,” Amaryllis deadpanned. “Just rest some more, maybe when you wake up, some of your missing brain cells will reappear.”I smiled and helped Awen take the cup from me. “Okay,” I said. “Awen, can you wake me up when... supper’s ready?”“Awa, sure thing,” she said. “I don’t know if you’ll be ready to come and join us, though.”“She can eat here,” Amaryllis said.I shrugged, then held back a yawn. I wanted to know how things were going, and knowing Amaryllis, she’d be too worried to tell me if I looked tired. “Where are we now? Is Rogers after us?”This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it“We’re two, maybe three day from Insmouth,” Amaryllis said. “No sign of that golden bastard either.”“Insmouth? Isn’t that... uh, to the south of where we’re going?” I asked.“We don’t have much of a choice. There’s a nasty crosswind this time of year that would fling us off course. If we had come down over Deepmarsh, like we were meant to, then we could have avoided it by flying over the Trenten Flats, or at least along the shores, but as it is we’ll have to go the long way around.”“I’m sorry,” I said.“Idiot,” she replied. I think that was an ‘I forgive you’ from her. “You have two days to feel better and get on your feet. It wouldn’t do to land without our captain in tip-top shape.”“Yes ma’am,” I said. “How’s the rest of the crew?”Amaryllis huffed. It was a mildly annoyed huff, annoyance at someone that wasn’t here to feel all the wrath of her huffing in person. “Those brats you brought aboard are a bunch of mewling babies. You’d think they were the nobles, what with the way they whine and moan about every little thing.”“Really?” I asked.Awen shifted. “Well, they’re not so bad? Sally has been helping with the sails and such, and Oda is helping with the engine and maintenance. Joe... does complain a lot, but he works hard still.”“That’s great,” I said. I blinked, then blinked again. It was hard to keep my eyes open, and the next yawn was too strong to stifle. “How’s... ahhh, Bastion?”“He’s fine,” Amaryllis said. “You need to sleep.”“Just fine?” I asked.“He trains a lot, and sometimes he’ll help, but he keeps to himself,” Awen explained.“We need to make him open up some more. He could be a nice friend.”Amaryllis crossed her wings. “He did save your sorry hide. No one noticed you were sick until he did.”“I’ll thank him later.” Did sylphs like hugs? “And Clive? And the others?”“That old bird will outlive the lot of us, the way we do things, and the other two are smart. They mind their own business and do their work as best they can. My sister picked good workers.”“Good, good,” I said. “And you two?”Awen pressed a hand to my head. It was warm. “We’re fine now,” Awen said. “We’ll let you sleep, alright?”“Mm? But I have more questions.”“Moron,” Amaryllis said. “You can ask them to an empty room then. Get some sleep.”I waved my friends goodbye, but only after Awen helped me lay back down properly and fluffed out my pillows. She’d make a great mom someday. Not that I’d tell her that, I didn’t want to have her be feverish too.When I was alone, I found myself stuck between sleeping and not. Half-dreams slipping past like a haze, then disappearing with a blink and a shift. It took a lot of effort for me to actually fall asleep.I woke up some time later when the door opened and Awen came in, this time accompanied by Bastion who was holding up a little lantern with a glowing rune within. “You’re awake,” the sylph said.“Yeah,” I said. “I think I’ve been in and out.”“We brought supper,” Awen said.I glanced around. The sky had darkened while I was dozing. Probably why they needed the lantern that Bastion set on a hook.“What is it?” I asked.“Just soup,” Awen said.She helped me sit up again, though I didn’t need it as much. I was feeling far better already.“Thanks,” I said as I took the bowl she offered me and sniffed it. The soup was just shy of being hot. I held it against my sternum with one hand and chowed down with a spoon. I didn’t know I was so hungry until the first few swallows were down.“You’re looking better,” Bastion said.“Mmhmm,” I said. “Thank you, by the way.”“It’s nothing,” Bastion said. “Fighting piracy is one of my duties, as is caring for the companions I fight next to. It was the least I could do.”I nodded. He was getting so many hugs later. “Thanks anyway.” I took another spoonful, then licked my lips. “You do training, right?”“I do,” he said.“Can you train me some? I nearly died on Roger’s ship, and I have the impression he wasn’t even trying that hard.”“I suppose I could spar with you a little. Though I can’t exactly teach you any techniques from my order.”“That’s fine,” I said. “I’ll owe you doubly then.”“Awa, can I train too?” Awen said. “I don’t want to be kidnapped again.”“I’m not sure how much training will help you in that regard, but I can give you someone to test your skill against,” Bastion said.Awen nodded, then bowed a little, as much as she could in my rather cramped room. “Thank you.”“We can see about that tomorrow,” I said.“I think it might take you a little more than a day to recover fully.”I pouted, but that didn’t seem to do much to sway Bastion’s opinion on the matter.Awen smiled and absently started playing with my ears. “You’ll be fine,” she said. “Take your time. We’re in no hurry, alright?”“Of course we are,” I said. “We need to get so strong and tough that even things like nasty pirates won’t be a problem for us,” I said.“I look forward to seeing you reach hitherto unknown levels,” Bastion said. “But perhaps a little bit of patience would do you better than merely rushing along without a care.”I gave him an Amaryllis huff, but I couldn’t really disagree. “Fine then. We’ll just see.” I let my spoon drop into my empty bowl. “Can I have more?”
* * *
The Friendship Circle of Very Nice Girls — Part V
The Friendship Circle of Very Nice Girls — Part V Eve nodded, face set and very serious. “Alright,” she said.They had all gathered in the Champion of Evil’s not-so-very-evil dining room, which was by dint of convenience, only a room or two away from the kitchens.“These are the rules,” Eve said. The two champions are charged with baking six things each! Ilea has volunteered to act as the oven, though that is the only assistance she will provide. Each of you is charged with cooking the following!”Across from Eve, on a pair of cheap fold-out chairs, were the two champions. Maximilian, who was making the chair look good, and Larry, who sat on his hands.Eve gestured to Ariane who sighed and pulled up a set of cue-cards, each one with a scribble or ornately written item upon it. “Chocolate cake,” she began. The girls nodded. A sensible option. Arianne set the card down. “Blood cake.”That, of course, sparked off the debate. “That’s not a kind of cake I’m familiar with,” Eve muttered.“I’m not too sure I like the idea of that one,” Broccoli added. “I’m more of a vegetarian.”“I’ll try it,” Ikea added.Ariane cleared her throat and glared at the others as she very pointedly set the card down. “Carrot Cake,” she said as she read the next card.“Bet that’s from the bunny girl,” Eve said.“It’s ‘bun’ actually,” Broccoli replied.“A... mango,” Arianne said. She looked up, eyes locking onto Elaine who blinked back. “A mango is not a cake.”“It could be, if you try hard enough,” Elaine said.“I’d try mango cake,” Broccoli said.“It doesn’t say mango cake though, does it. Just ‘a mango,’” Ilea said. She said it very smugly indeed.Elaine nodded. “That’s what I wrote.”Ariane slapped the card down. “Mango cake.”“Spoilsport,” Elaine muttered. In truth she didn’t seem all that upset.The vampire flipped up the next card and tilted her head to the side. “Poison cake?”“That sounds great,” Ilea said.“Are you trying to poison people, Miss Ilea?” Broccoli asked. “I was poisoned once. It was awful.”The ashen warrior shrugged. “I’ll have your slice then.”Arianne shook her head and tossed the card down. “I don’t even care anymore. Last but not least... bread.”“Any kind,” Eve added. “Even something bread-adjacent. A loaf. I’ll take anything, really.”With an elegant sweep, Arianne picked up the cards, tapped them edge-first on the table, then gestured to the two champions. “Well? What are you waiting for? Get to it.”The boys paused, stared at each other, then bolted for the kitchens.“I really do want to think the best of people,” Broccoli said. “But is there anything we can do to make sure they don’t cheat?”“I’m watching them,” Ilea said. “Don’t worry your pretty litt-big ears.”“So, what do we do while they’re making my bread? Ah, I mean, the cakes. The baking,” Eve said.“We could clean this place up,” Broccoli suggested. “It’s a bit messy, and it would be a nice gesture to do since they are cooking for us.”“No,” Ariane said.Broccoli clapped. “So, if not cleaning, then something else! What do you do when you have a few hours to waste, Miss Illea? Group activities, I mean.”“I’ve really enjoyed lava baths lately,” Ilea said.Broccoli blinked, her ears twitched and she turned to Ariane. “So, if not cleaning, then something else! What do you do when you have a few hours to waste, Miss Ariane? Group activities, I mean.”Ariane nodded. “I enjoy a spot of hunting, but I don’t suppose that’s entirely applicable here. I paint,” she said. “It’s an older hobby of mine. Very calming.”“Oh, painting is so nice,” Candle said. “It’s very soothing.”“I suppose I could create a group portrait,” Ariane said. “I would need canvas and paints, of course, as well as...”Ilea gestured, and a whole host of painting supplies landed on the table. Brushes and little squeeze-bottles of oil and a couple of pallets. “Oh, and this,” Ilea said as a canvas appeared and was immediately grabbed-on the edges-by some ashy tentacles.“That would work, yes,” Ariane said.Setting things up took a moment, but soon all the girls-Ariane obviously excluded-were bunched together on a few seats, some standing, others hunched at the back to fit within Ariane’s ‘frame.’“Move your ears please,” Ariane said. “Yes, now you, dragon girl, to the right. No, the other right. No, not that one, the other-other right. Good. Ilea, smile... no, that’s not a good smile. Yes, there is such a thing as a good smile, and yours isn’t one. Eve, stop looking towards the kitchen so much. Right, now don’t move for one to two hours please.”Time passes, as it usually tends to do. The girls fidgeted, and after a moment, discovered that they could talk without Arianne levelling a vampiric glare upon them. The conversation was hardly very intelligent. Mostly it centred around chocolate, the scarcity of bread, how best to make friends, how to meet cute boys, and whether the Bechdel Test was a valid measure of things.“I’m done,” Ariane said. She carefully lifted the canvas, grabbing it from the clamps holding it to her aisle and turning it around.“That’s very nice work,” Elaine said.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.“It’s pretty cool,” Ilea said. “What’ll we do with it?”“We can play shortest-stick for it,” Broccoli suggested.“I’ll abstain,” Candle said. “You keep it, Ariane, your Ancestors will love it."“Likewise,” Elaine said. “Though, not for the same reason.”“I wouldn’t know what to do with it,” Eve said with a shrug.The discussion was interrupted as the doors leading to the kitchen opened and the two champions walked in, each pushing a cart ahead of them. They were both a little sweaty, though Maximillian was more ‘supermodel on a set’ sweaty as opposed to Larry’s ‘middle-class guy who’s had a long day’ sort of sweaty.On their wheeled trolleys were six dishes each, all of them under little silver domes.“Well well, you took your time,” Ariane said as she started to wipe her hands with a rag. Broccoli snuck up and poked the paint stains away, earning her some confused blinking from the vampire.“Yeah, well, yeah,” Larry said with impeccable eloquence.“Larry didn’t try to cheat,” Ilea said. “Max here didn’t stop trying to cheat. Though he kept getting sneakier about it every time I caught him, so props for that.”The two champions looked to each other, and some sort of communication passed between them. An understanding, some bro-code agreement. They might have been fated to fight or something, but they weren’t fated to deal with all of the mad women gathered before them.“So, how are we doing this?” Eve asked.“We just need to taste things, right?” Candle asked.“It needs to be fair,” Broccoli added.Ilea sighed, The domes appeared on the dining room table, each with a letter scribbled onto their side in burning ash. “There. Now you don’t know who’s cake and or bread is from who.”“But you know,” Arianne said.“I’m impartial,” Ilea said with a serious nod.Elaine shook her head. “I don’t care enough to poke at that. Where do we start?”The girls walked over to the far end of the table, and they flipped over the domes to reveal a pair of rather sloppily made chocolate cakes. One looked like a bloated brown frog that had been stepped on, the other like a cow patty someone had assaulted with a trowel.“Wow,” Broccoli said. Her jaw worked as she searched for something to say. “Lots of effort, that’s commendable, right?”“I don’t mind the looks, I wanna taste them,” Candle said. She was practically shaking at the look of them.Plates were obtained, and the cakes were cut into slices.“Don’t eat too much,” Ilea said as she failed to follow her own advice. “There’s five more after this.”“They’re both disgusting,” Ariane said after a nibble.“They both taste like, um, lots of love were put into them. And stress. Mostly stress,” Broccoli said.Ilea shrugged and licked her plate clean.Elaine and Eve took a few nibbles, then passed their plates on to Candle who devoured the leftovers.Votes were tallied, and they came up even, with Candle voting for both, and Arianne voting for neither.“Next cake!” Ilea said.The boys off to the side were standing a little closer, muttering to each other as they watched the contest progress.The carrot cake was next, and it met with similar results. Both cakes were aggressively mediocre. They weren’t over or undercooked, but they weren’t perfectly cooked. The carrot bits weren’t too big so as to be bad, but they could have been smaller. The icing wasn’t too sweet, but it was also not sweet enough.It was the carrot-cake equivalent of a gas-station sandwich.The scores ended up even again, with another abstain and Elaine declaring them both too bland to be worth eating.“Finally!” Ariane said as she pulled the domes off the next cakes.Everyone stared, and even Ariane looked a bit squeamish.“We tried,” Larry said.“I had to gut a chicken,” Maximilian said.“No,” Ariane said as she lowered the dome.“Hey,” Ilea said.“No,” Ariane repeated.The next domes rose, and within were some perfectly ordinary looking cakes.“Oh, these are mine,” Ilea said.“They look alright,” Eve said.Ilea nodded. “Yeah. Want to work on your poison resistance? I’ll heal you.”The cakes, according to Ilea, were alright. A little bland, and she’d had better, but not the worse she’d eaten. The poison in both was a disappointment though, she informed the white-faced young men. Arsenic and rat poison and scrapped-off bits of mold did not good poison make.The next domes were lifted, and Elaine cheered. “Mangoes!”“That’s just two fruit,” Candle said.“I know!” Elaine cheered.The girl swiped both of them, grinned, then paused and had the good decency to look a bit embarrassed. “Do you want one?”“You can have it,” Candle said and Broccoli nodded.“I thought we asked for mango cake,” Ariane asked.“There wasn’t a recipe for that,” Larry replied.Maximilian gave a very manly, very handsome and somewhat evil shrug. “You wanted us to bake six things in an hour and a half. Neither of us are bakers. I think we did quite well, all things considered.”Ariane huffed, but there was nothing to it.“We should move on,” Eve insisted. She shook as she reached out and plucked the domes off the final baked goods.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Learning About the Feet of the Master
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Learning About the Feet of the Master I decided that the reason that I felt so wobbly was because the ship was in the air and was swaying a bit as it cut through the winds. It was most certainly not because I was still weak and felt a bit dizzy.I shot an arm out and slapped it against the wall I was falling towards. It stopped me on the spot, which was handy because otherwise I’d be stopping by banging my face against the wall and that wouldn’t be any fun.Less fun would be spending another day in my cabin. Sure, I could keep it from smelling like a sick room with no problem, but it wasn’t fun to be stuck in a bed all day. It was boring, and I’d already spent half a day rifling through all the books I had.The magical instruction book that I’d bought so long ago actually made a lot more sense now that I’d learned other magic-related stuff, and the botanical book was still as pretty as it ever was, even if I was aboard a rather plant-less ship.Maybe I could get some planters? A little garden on the deck would be cute.I shook my head and tried to push the cobwebs away. It was already well past breakfast time. Soon the others would be coming down for lunch, and I didn’t want to be caught in my room for another full day. If I could prove that I was able to stay up on my feet now, then they’d have no choice but to let me wander about and have some fun.Plus, I was certain that being out and about would help me feel better. Fresh air and sunlight were important.I paused before the door to Amaryllis’ room. There was a mirror standing in her little bathroom, and it was angled just right that I could see my face. My cheeks were rosey, and my ears flopped down as if they’d run out of energy to stay upright.I frowned and strained until they moved back up straight. The second I started to relax, even slightly, one of them flopped back down.One out of two was good enough.I made it up a level by pulling myself up the rails next to the steps, and then pushed my way through the door leading onto the main deck.The wind blasted my back for a moment before I caught my footing again and hugged myself to keep my warmth. A few blinks later and I could make out the deck properly.Steve and Gordon were working on some ropes on the other deck. Clive was sitting on one of the steps leading up to the helm, a pipe in his talons, and Sally of all people was hanging onto the wheel and keeping it straight.Further on the deck, Bastion was swinging an iron rod up and down as if there wasn’t a weight tied to the end of it that looked to weigh half as much as he did. And Awen was next to the Manatee with Oda, the entirety of the boat’s engine taken apart on a tarp before them.“Captain,” Bastion said as I moved closer to him. I was trying to be quiet so as to not alarm anyone, and it seemed to be working. “I didn’t expect to see you up so soon.”I shrugged. “I can’t stay in my room all day,” I said.Clive’s mouth worked, and his ever-present pipe shifted from one side to the other. “It might not be a bad idea. You look... forgive me for saying so, but a little frail. Are you certain you’re ready to be up?”“I’m fine,” I said. “Well, fine-enough. I can stand on my own two feet, and that’s enough for now, I think.”“I do hope you’re not hoping to train in your current condition,” Bastion said.“Well, I was thinking about it, yeah,” I said.The sylph shook his head and lowered his iron bar down until it clunked onto the deck. “I don’t think that’s wise. As I said, I don’t mind training with you and sparring a little, but not if it means risking your health.”I sighed. I couldn’t argue with him. If it was one of my friends in my position I’d be snuggling them into submission by now. “Okay,” I said. “But you don’t mind seeing me up?”“I’d advise against standing near the rails,” he said. “It would be a shame for you to go overboard because of a dizzy spell. But some fresh air really can’t hurt. And moving around will limber up your muscles a little, get your heart pumping again.”I grinned. “That’s what I was thinking! We’ll have to try sparring tomorrow then.”Bastion smiled and shook his head. “Maybe we can start with some light exercise before that. I’ve been injured before, you don’t just bounce out of the sickbed that quickly, not even with far better care than what you got. Give yourself a few days.”I pouted, but he was being concerned about my health so I couldn’t really be angry or anything. “You were injured before?” I asked.Bastion nodded, then gestured to one of the seats built into the rails. “Want to sit for a moment? I’m due a few swallows of water.”I nodded and moved over to the bench and was soon joined by Bastion after he picked up a canteen tucked away next to some exercise stuff.“So, the first time I was injured...” Bastion took a sip from the canteen, then lowered it. “No, actually, it would be more accurate to say the first time I was injured on the line of duty. You might not know this, but Paladins are nearly bred for the job. There are some who are members of noble families, third-sons and so on, but a lot of us join very young.”“Why do they hire you so young?” I asked.“Oh, you’re not hired into the Paladins, you’re chosen. In Sylphfree you can join the armed forces at about ten years old. It would be unusual to join at such a young age, but if you can walk and listen to orders, you can join.”“You have child soldiers?” I asked.“What? No, of course not,” he said. “Accepting children is the state’s way of ensuring that there are few homeless and that everyone can get an education. It’s all very light work. Three meals a day. Some very basic training. A lot of those children, myself included, unlock their first classes in something useful. Messengers, Aide-de-Camps, Soldiers, Chefs... all classes that ensure that they’ll have a useful place in society. I was lucky, I started as a Combatant.”Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.“You were ten?” I asked.“Twelve?” he said. “Somewhere around there. By the time I was fifteen I was asked if I wanted to join the order of Paladins. Of course I jumped on it. It’s a great honour, and a lot of us are chosen from amongst the more talented individuals in the military who don’t have ties to anyone else.”“Okay,” I said. I didn’t know how I felt about all of that, but it didn’t seem to bother Bastion.“What followed was three years of training, and a switch in classes.”“They can change your class?” I asked. “I thought only dungeons can do that.”“You’d be correct, and that would also be the most I could say on the subject,” Bastion said. “So, four years of training until I became somewhat competent, and quite certain of my own abilities. Most Paladins around my age were a full five to ten levels ahead of the average soldier. The training is a lot harder, and so we grow faster.”I nodded. “Okay.”“I got injured during training plenty of times, of course. Bruises were common, sometimes a broken bone or dislocated joint. Painful, but Sylphfree is known across Dirt for having the best medical knowledge, and the Royal Paladins are well cared for. I don’t think I can count those as real injuries.”“I would,” I said. “I don’t think I could do that kind of thing. It just... I don’t know. Training is fun sometimes, but only in that it makes it more fun to do more things later.”Bastion nodded. “I think a younger me might not have understood that, but I can sympathize a little better now. It’s a very...” He paused, took another swallow of water, then wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “It’s not a civilian point of view so much as an adventurer’s, someone who wants to go out and see the world.”“That’s exactly it,” I said.“That kind of person, the sort who would rather stay safe and live a quiet life, doesn’t always fit into the mold in Sylphfree, which is unfortunate; they tend to be brave in a way that we need, sometimes. Regardless, we were talking about injuries?”“Your first one you got while working?”“That’s right. Paladins are linked to the Royal Inquisition, but technically our line of command starts and ends with the Royal family. It’s a way to ensure that no general can become too powerful and threaten the King or Queen.”“I think I get it,” I said.“So, my first mission. I was nervous, but I’d been training for long enough that I could hide it well enough. I’d done some guard duty things, but I don’t know if those really count. Standing in one place looking smart for hours isn’t exciting.”“I couldn’t do it,” I said.“I don’t doubt that,” he replied.I narrowed my eyes and inspected him, but he kept a perfectly straight face. I couldn’t tell if he was poking fun at me or not.“So, my first real, meaningful mission. One of the princesses was travelling from Goldenalden, the capitol, to Granite Springs. It’s a day-long trip. More time is spent preparing the ship than actually flying over. No real danger, though the path most ships take can be treacherous.”“Why’s that?” I asked.“Crosswinds from the ocean and a flight path that dives between a few mountains. Nearly all of Sylphfree is mountainous; it’s somewhat similar to the Harpy’s own lands, that way.”“Neat,” I said.“So, I arrive at the castle, and a senior Paladin goes to greet the princess. I decide to make myself useful and help some of the serving staff with these boxes. Next thing I know, someone’s poking at my shoulder.”“Okay,” I said.“So I turn around, and there’s the princess, looking rather unimpressed. She asks me what I’m doing, and I explain myself. She took it well enough. Then she pointed to this box I placed right atop this pile. Had to fly to bring it up there. She tells me she needs that chest with her in her carriage and in her room, and that her staff know what they're doing.”“Oh no!” I pressed a hand over my mouth. “That must have been embarrassing.”Bastion laughed. “A little. The princess... all of the princesses, can be a bit much.”“They are like that,” I said. I could have sworn I heard a birdy sneeze from somewhere below deck.“So, I reach up, grab this rather heavy chest, and proceed to trip. Chest comes down hard and lands right on my foot. The princess is screaming about her things, I’m trying not to scream at whatever broke in my foot, and the serving staff all lose their wits for a moment. Guards come rushing over, guards who are all Paladins that I know. They think the princess is under attack or something.”I bit my lip to hold in the giggles.“I try to explain that everything’s fine, but the princess-mind you, she was only a child-decides to stomp on my foot because I broke her box.”“Oh no!”“Oh yes. She got the correct foot too.” Bastion chuckled. “I swore. Soldiers tend to learn some very creative language, and the princess screeches at me. I’m not too sure what happened right after. One of the senior Paladins took pity on me and brought a pitcher of strong beer to my room that night to help me forget.”“Did you go on your mission?”“No, I got sent back to my rooms as if I was a child that was acting out of line. I stopped by the infirmary, of course. Ah, I was mocked for a good long time about that. Even the princess made a few digs at me later. She grew out of her hissy-fit stage, even apologised about stomping my foot some years later.”“So... the goal of that story was that I should learn to take a break?” I asked.Bastion snorted. “No, it was to distract you until lunch. Come, I’ll help you down to the kitchen.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty — The Parable of the Baker Knight
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty — The Parable of the Baker Knight “Raa!” I roared as I swung my padded spade around. The head swooshed through the air and hit absolutely nothing because the clever sylph I was trying to bonk with it casually stepped back and out of the way.“Duck!” Awen called out from behind me.I dipped down, ears dropping flat onto my head just as a crossbow bolt (with a sandbag for a head) shot past where I’d been.Bastion smiled and casually flicked the wooden pole he had in place for a sword, slapping the bolt off course. “Good timing there, girls,” he said. And then he was stepping up and swinging for me.I parried his first strike with the haft of my spade, then hopped over a sweeping kick-only the kick never happened; instead, mid-twist, Bastion shoulder-checked my tummy, grabbed the back of my knee, and sent me crashing to the deck back-first.“Erk!” I coughed.Bastion stepped past me and lunged for Awen. She tossed her crossbow aside and flung her arms out at him. Two balls of glass formed in her palms and launched out towards the sylph.But Bastion was way too fast, and he weaved around both before stepping right up to Awen. He shoved her arms aside, ignored a kick to the shin, then threw Awen over his shoulder and to the ground right next to me.“Awa!” Awen coughed.We were both down for the count. Again.“Well done,” Bastion said. “Your teamwork is improving, and even your reflexes.”I raised an arm to protest, then let it fall back down. I was too pooped to get up. "You’re too fast,” I complained.“I’ve got nearly twice your levels, and a decade’s worth of combat training,” Bastion said. “Good training too. Day after day of being punted around by my seniors until I learned how to take care of myself.”I rolled onto my tummy, then pushed myself up. My warspade-with the end wrapped in a bundle of cloth-had fallen a few steps away, so I had to move over to pick that up. “I don’t know if we’re getting any better,” I said.The day before, Bastion and my friends tricked me into going back to bed after lunch. But today I spent all morning trying to fight Bastion. I wasn’t back at my best, but I wasn’t too far from it, and yet I hadn't landed a single blow.“Captain!” Clive called from the quarterdeck. “Land ahead!”I gasped, and seeing that Awen was already jumping to her feet and didn’t need a hand, rushed to the bow to look out to sea. Out by the horizon was a long strip of green and brown. “We’re getting close.”“Looks like it,” Bastion said as he came over. “I think that’ll be a good place to end our training for today.”“Was it really training? All that happened is that you threw me and Awen around.”Bastion nodded. “Now you know how to be thrown around a little better. Don’t worry, you’ll improve.”“Of course I will. I’m doing my best after all. Right Awen?”“Right,” Awen agreed with a very serious nod. “We’ll be strong in no time.”“We have some open General Skill slots too, so we should fill those out with some combat stuff,” I said. “But that can wait. We’re heading to a port over in, uh.” I pointed to the shore ahead. “What nation is that?”“None,” Bastion said. “Or I suppose you could argue that the land is controlled by the Crying Mountains, but seeing as how the people from those mountains rarely move away from their dwellings that argument doesn’t hold up very well.”“So it’s a free place?” I asked.“Not quite,” another voice said. I turned to see Amaryllis coming over. “The land is lawless, which isn’t the same as free. There are a few communities there. Small villages and such. But for the most part it’s virgin territory. Only one nation ever tried to capture it though.”“Oh?” I asked. I knew how much Amaryllis liked her history lessons. Plus, they were neat!“The Trenten Flats mounted a sort-of invasion. They’re keen on expansion. So they crossed the Hoofbreaker Forest, and tried to conquer the one city and the few villages there. They crossed the Crystalline people of the Crying Mountains though. One of their biggest defeats. A running rout across the entire land, through the Hoofbreaker Forest-which is what earned it that name-and all the way to Crystalbreak where the reinforced army made a stand and arguably won. They never pushed back as far as I know. Not with the wall going up.”“The Grey Wall, right?” I vaguely remembered that part.Amaryllis nodded. “Paid for by the Crying Mountain. It’s a barrier across the only land bridge between two continents. Probably one of the biggest structures in the world. It took nearly half a century to be completed, and that’s with a decently large body of workers.”“Does it work? As a wall I mean.” I remembered learning about the Great Wall of China not being all that great at stopping Mongolian invaders.“I suppose so. The Treten Flats haven’t tried their luck again. I suppose the wall, and the forces behind it, act as a decent deterrent. The Hoofbreaker Forest is also mostly untouched. The cervid used the wood from it to build some of their infrastructure, but they have other sources.”“Cool,” I said. “Maybe we’ll be able to see the wall from the air in passing.”“Probably,” Amaryllis said. “We’ll be passing to the east of it in a few days. Assuming all goes well in Insmouth.”“What do you know about Insmouth?” I asked.“Very little,” Amaryllis said. “It’s a small independent port, with not much of value for sale, and it’s not on the way to anywhere interesting. If it wasn’t for the large detour we’re taking we wouldn’t be passing anywhere near here.”“Isn’t there anything to the south of it? The only maps I’ve seen cut off around there,” I said.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.Amaryllis shrugged. “Open desert, and not the sort that can be traversed like the Ostri Desert. I suppose there could be more that way, but if there is I haven’t heard of it. Airships should make exploring that way easier now, but I don’t know of any recent expeditions.”Bastion nodded. “There’s civilization all over, but you really need to go looking for it. And there’s little incentive to do so. Our corner of Dirt is rather plentiful already.”“It might be getting too full of plenty,” Amaryllis muttered. "The Trenten have been butting up against borders in nearly every direction, and they don’t seem keen on crossing the Vermin Vastness to go looking for more people to terrorize that way.”I didn’t quite know what to say about that. “Lunch?” I tried.“Certainly,” Amaryllis said. “As long as you’re cooking.”I nodded, placed my spade on my shoulder, then walked off to the back of the ship and down towards the kitchen. As we’d discovered through trial and lots of error, neither Amaryllis or Awen could cook. Nor were they allowed to try to cook anymore.Clive and Steve and Gordon could manage simple foods, and Bastion had a sort of camping skill that let him make some things in a hurry. I had a bit of experience preparing things back home, which made me one of our better chefs. The scallywags were also pretty deft, especially Joe who had worked a food stall once or twice.I rummaged around a bit for something to cook, then settled on a sort of stew. There were limited cooking ingredients in our little kitchen area, and not all that much in terms of tasty supplies.As good as hardtack could be when it came to lasting a long time and being nutritious, it didn’t beat proper food. So, I cleaned some veggies using my cheating cleaning magic, then started dicing them up and tossing them into a pot of water which I set to boil.We had a little bit of meat left, stuck in a rune-powered coldbox and wrapped in a few layers of filmy paper. That was the last of our supplies from the Harpy mountains. we hadn't had much time to stock up at Needleford.I made a mental note to pick up some more provisions at Insmouth. We had some canned food, and wouldn’t starve even if we had to ration things out for a month or more, but that didn’t mean that we’d enjoy beans three times a day.Which was as good a reason as any to open a can and dump it into the stew. More protein was always welcome!By the time most of the crew came down, the stew was simmering and I was filling out bowls with hot broth and placing them onto the table. “We should get utensils with magnets built into them,” I said as I put a bowl in front of Awen.“Ah? Oh, so that they don’t move around?” Awen asked.I nodded. “Yup. Who’s on watch above?”“Steve and Sally,” Oda said.“Do you want to bring them some bowls, or will they be eating after?”“They’ll take a break later,” Oda said. “We’ll just have to make sure not to eat it all.”I nodded, then got some help passing things around. Once everyone was set, we dug in. After having endured some of Amaryllis cooking, even something as boring as my stew felt great. “So, did you scallywags figure out what you want to do once we land?” I asked.Joe shrugged. “We might look for work. We might not. Depends. Heard that Insmouth is a pretty quiet place. So it’s probably safe, but that doesn’t mean there’s much to do there.”“Finding work is important. You’ll need some money to keep afloat. But with three of you helping each other out that shouldn’t be too hard. Once you have work, all three of you should find a dungeon,” Bastion said.Amaryllis nodded. “He’s right. You’re all going to find it hard to find better jobs if you’re caught at your first evolution.”“Is that a big problem?” I asked.Amaryllis made a so-so gesture. “In bigger cities it isn’t uncommon to have most of the population locked at their first evolution, with a few naturals having pushed past. It’s good enough to keep things running smoothly. But anyone of a higher level, with more classes, will be seen as somewhat more desirable in any given position. The stats alone mean that a person will be more resilient.”“Awa, there’s also a, um, notion that people that have gone past level ten are likely to keep on going. That they have more potential? Keeping someone at a low level means that they stay dependent.”“I should pay more attention to people’s levels, but it feels... kinda sad to only see people for the numbers, instead of seeing them for who they are.”“That’s a pretty common way of doing things,” Amaryllis said. “In peacetimes, when everything is going well, it’s hard to discriminate against people based solely on class and level. It’ll still happen. The amount of practice you need to... say out-blacksmith a Blacksmith is immense. Doesn’t mean it can’t be done.”“The Baker Knight,” Awen said. “Uncle said he met him once.”“Hmm?” I asked.“It’s a children’s story. Based on more or less real events,” Amaryllis said.“You never heard of the Baker Knight?” Joe asked. “Everyone knows the story.”I shrugged. “What’s it about?”“A young man that got the Baker class deciding he’d become a Knight,” Amaryllis said. “This was during some turmoil in Pyrowalk. The long version is filled with aesops and side stories. The short version is that he succeeded, eventually becoming a rather terrifying figure. The character’s often played off as a bit of a goof though.”“That sounds cute!” I said. I had been slowly getting accustomed to all sorts of new cultures and people, but I never really considered what the children's stories were like. It was something else to dig into... one of these days.
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-One — Casting a Shadow Over Insmouth
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-One — Casting a Shadow Over Insmouth Insmouth, from above, didn’t look like much.If Needleford was a small city, then Insmouth couldn’t be much more than a large village. It sprawled out a bit, most of the homes and buildings nestling around the end of a bay, with docks running out over the water.The docks seemed too small to deserve the name ‘port.’ The biggest ship moored there was a small caravel. Mostly, it was fishing boats that were bobbing away in the clear waters.“Foresails stowed!” I called. Clive, standing next to me by the wheel, nodded.The crew pulled in the foresails, canvas snapped, and with a slight lurch the Beaver Cleaver started to slow down.“Grav to half!” I said.Clive unlocked the lever controlling the gravity engine and dragged it gently down to the halfway mark before locking it once more. We started to dip soon after.I eyed the village in the distance and bit the tip of my tongue as I concentrated. I didn’t want us to overshoot it. Or crash into it for that matter. “Engines, counter-rotate. Quarter-speed.”Clive pulled the appropriate levers and soon the big propeller behind me started to spin in the opposite direction as before. I had to clamp onto my hat with my ears as wind blasted past me from behind. I laughed and spun the wheel a bit. With the prop spinning counter to its usual motion the wheel would need to be turned in the opposite direction as usual. It was a bit hard to keep track of.“Captain!” Steve called from his position next to the figurehead. He was tugging up a coil of rope. “We’re a quarter league up!”I nodded, then worked really hard to convert that to metric. That was... pretty high up, but not that high for an airship. We were also still dropping a little, even if it felt like the drop was slowing down. I certainly felt heavier as the Beaver moved down slower.“Clive, set grav up a notch,” I said.“Aye.”I turned the wheel a little more, adjusting course not for Insmouth or its docks, but for an empty field right next to the village’s wall. I hoped whomever the field belonged to didn’t mind us stopping above it.When we had slowed down to a crawl I had Clive set the engine to neutral and we coasted in over Insmouth, the tops of the tallest houses only a dozen meters below. I could see people staring up, some of them pointing, others running towards us.I imagined that the local kids didn’t see ships as cool as the Beaver every day.“Should we deploy more sail to stop?” I asked Clive.The old harpy looked about, then raised an arm so that his feathers caught in the wind. “No, there’s a light crosswind from the south. Best to face away from it and push back into it.”I nodded and spun the wheel around. “Quarter astern, Clive.”Soon enough we were... more or less over the field I was aiming for. I was happy that I didn’t tell anyone that I was aiming for the field, or else that would have been embarrassing. “Anchors down!” Clive called. He turned towards me. “Now, usually this is when you’d turn off the grav generator and allow the ship to float down on its balloon alone. But we’re not over a proper dock.”“Can the engine stay on forever?” I asked.“On a low idle? It can run for plenty long. We ought to keep it going in case we need to leave in a hurry.”I nodded. That was really clever. Insmouth looked like a nice town, and I bet that they never kidnapped anyone, but it was best to stay safe. Maybe we’d notice Golden Roger’s ship over the horizon one day and we’d need to bolt. “Are you staying aboard?” I asked.“My days of being part of an away party are long behind me, Captain,” Clive said. “If you don’t mind, I’ll make sure everything is settled, then I’ll find a corner to rest in while you negotiate for supplies.”I gave him a thumbs-up. “Sure thing.”When I came down the quarterdeck I found Awen shrugging on a backpack while Amaryllis tugged on her leather coat. “Should we lower the ladder right away?” Amaryllis asked.“You’re both coming down too?” I asked.“I need to be there to negotiate. You’d see one orphan kid and give away the ship. And Awen here knows what the engine room needs most,” Amaryllis said.Bastion moved over to us, looking really cool in his armour and with his sword sheathed by his side. “May I come as well? I would feel rather poor if one of you was injured while I stayed aboard.”I nodded. More people was more fun as far as I was concerned. “Should we get the Scallywags to come too?”Amaryllis shook her head. “We’ll head out first. Make sure things are safe. Those three aren’t fit for fighting. If they want to stay here after all, that’s on them.”I rubbed my chin, but there wasn’t much I could say against that. “Fine! We’ll make sure it’s a nice safe place, then I guess we can give everyone a day of shore leave.”“As long as we get what we need,” Amaryllis said. “Food, more water. A few odds and ends. Awen has a list that’s a little more important.”“Ah, yes,” Awen said. “We’re down to half a bunker of fuel. It’s enough to get to the Grey Wall, I think, but not to our destination. So we should refuel here if we can. And I need some things. Oil, some things to tinker with. Things like that.”“Let’s see what we can find then,” I said. A glance over the side showed a small group gathering not too far from the Beaver. From up in the air I could make out a couple of guys with spears, but for the most part they just looked like normal villagers.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.We dropped the ladder and Bastion started down first while I ran off to grab my gear. I wouldn’t be caught without any equipment in a spot of trouble a second time.I came down last, landing with a heavy ‘omph’ next to Awen. “Ladder up!” I called to the Beaver. Steve’s head poked over the edge, and soon the ladder was rolling back in place.“Alright Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “Go be yourself at them.”I snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.The harpy gestured to the villagers. “Go be a clumsy idiot. That way they’ll assume that we’re harmless.”“Mean,” I said before making sure that my outfit was nice and proper. I had all of my armour on of course, and my warspade. I probably cut a very fearsome figure as I flounced over to the villagers.One thing stuck out to me right away about the group. They all had very wide, wet eyes, and their skin looked a bit blue-ish. That’s when I noticed the gills around their throats and the lack of hair on a lot of them. They had neat little fins though, and some of the older ones had human ears and hair.From the air I’d assumed that they were human, what with the two legs and arms, but I had been way off. “Hello!” I greeted them as I stopped a few meters away. “My name’s Broccoli. Broccoli Bunch, captain of the Beaver Cleaver. Do you have a leader? A mayor?”One of the fishpeople stepped up and bowed a little while removing the formless fisherman’s cap that sat on his bald head. “Greeting captain. I’m Howard Philppers. There’s no mayor in Insmouth, but I know everyone who’s anyone here. If you need anything I’m always willing to help a stranger.”I grinned and extended a hand. The other fishfolk seemed a little nervous, but the spears were lowered and they seemed to be coming around to the idea that there wouldn’t be any fighting.I shook Howard’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” I said. “We didn’t really intend to stop here, but I’m glad we did, you seem to have a very cute village.”“Why thank you,” Howard said. “Insmouth has been a kind place to us all. We don’t often get guests, but I’m sure we can brush off the old hospitality and make sure you and your lot are comfortable. Are you traders?”“Us? No, we’re explorers! On our way to Sylphfree. We wanted to circle around the Trenten Flats, but we may have circled too far down.”“Explorers, huh?” Howard said. He blinked his big eyes. “That’s mighty interesting. Do you do dungeons? Fight monsters?”“Yup! We go on adventures.”Howard nodded. “Well, if you intend to stay around the town for any amount of time, we might have something that you could help us with. I think that would make the lot of us a lot more welcoming than before.”I tilted my head to the side. “What’s that? Have you been having trouble?”“A little,” Howard said. “But I ought not talk about it so openly. I’ll speak to a few townsfolk, see if there’s any interest in hiring some tough young folk to help.”I shrugged. It wouldn’t do not to at least see if we could help. “Sure. We should be around for a little over a day. We need a few essentials.”Howard smiled, seeming pretty pleased with that. “I work over at the Inn. You can’t miss it. I’ll ask around right away, so if you come over later I’ll have an answer for you.”“Brilliant!” I said. “And it’s okay that we shop here?”Howard nodded. “Sure thing. Gold spends as well here as anywhere else. We might need to weigh your coins though, we’re not part of any fancy-big governments you know?”“That’s fair,” I said. “So, is everyone here a fish... person? Ah, I don’t know the name of your race, I’m sorry!”Howard laughed. “No need for that. We don’t rightly have a name for what we are. Just normal folk. The local dungeon’s pretty easy, and if you do things right by it, you can become like us. My family’s been here for five generations now, and we all end up looking like this.”“That’s neat!” I said. “I guess I’ll give the town a tour while we grab some supplies.”“Sure thing, Captain. If you run into any trouble, you just ask me and I’ll help you as much as I can. Oh, but word of caution, get back to your ship before the fog sets in. It’s safer that way.”“The fog’s dangerous, got it,” I said. I waved to Howard and ran back over to my friends. “They seem nice,” I announced.“Strange looking folk,” Amaryllis said. “They might be bigger bumpkins than you.”“That’s a rather common thing with towns like this,” Bastion said.“What is?” I asked.“The town’s detached and separate from the rest of the world. So they develop their own little ideas and culture. These folk look like they might have been humans, or maybe their ancestors were. Now they’re not just separate from the rest of the world on account of their ideas and culture, but physically too.”“They don’t seem mean,” I said.Bastion shook his head. “I don’t doubt that they’re just as kind as anyone else. That might be the problem.”That was a weird way of thinking. “Whelp, they’re heading back in,” I said as I noticed the group dispersing. A few still looked up at the Beaver but it was with interest, not maliciousness. “We should see about getting our supplies too. Oh, and we need to stay out of the fog. It’s dangerous.”“We’ll see about that,” Amaryllis said.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Two — Shopping With the Fishes
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Two — Shopping With the Fishes Shopping in Insmouth was a strange experience. Not the actual shopping, that part was fairly easy. It wasn’t shopping for fun, but for supplies, so it was more of a chore than a fun activity, but I still got to hang out with my best friends, so it was okay.The thing that was weird were all the looks we got from the townspeople. They weren’t quite suspicious. It was something else. I guess in a town filled with fishfolk and little else, our band stood out a lot. We were strange.Maybe that was it. Guarded curiosity as opposed to outright suspicion.It took a few hours, and two return trips to the Beaver for us to gather up all the supplies we wanted. The locals had plenty of fish to sell, in all sorts of forms. Salted, pickled, and even some smoked fish which I got to taste to confirm it was yummy, tummy-aches aside.They didn’t have wax paper, but they did have these big leaves from one of the local plants that worked well enough. Not much chicken though, and no beef or anything like that. We picked up a few sacks of veggies too, mostly turnips and onions.Once everything was squared away, we kind of just toured the town. Insmouth was laid out in a sort of crescent-shape, with the bay in the middle. That meant that the town was essentially split with the docks in the middle.I kinda expected there to be two districts, with the rich in one, and the poor in another, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Insmouth was a small enough town that there wasn’t much wealth to go around. Everyone was about as well off as their neighbour. Sure, some people seemed better off, but not by that big a margin. It was nice.The houses were all made of wood, sometimes with stone foundations. A lot of them had steps leading up to their doors, maybe in case of flooding or something? I didn’t bother asking really.It felt like being in a medieval town, only it was really clean.“We should probably head over to the inn if we want to meet Howard today,” I said.“I suppose,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t mind playing tourist, but there’s just not much to see here. Once you’ve looked at one hovel, you’ve seen them all.”I huffed a ‘don’t be rude’ huff at Amaryllis.“Stop doing that!” she said.Giggling, I grabbed her by the talon, then I grabbed Awen’s hand too, because I could, and I tugged them after me towards the docks.The only inn in town, the Frank Inn Stein, was a long, low building, with big bay windows at the front that looked into a lounge with a bunch of round tables surrounded by seats. The place looked to be nearly empty. A fire crackled away in the hearth by the corner, and the air smelled like freshly baked bread and frying fish.A fishfolk woman behind the counter looked up and gave us a big fishy grin. “You must be the strangers I’ve heard so much about,” she said. “Welcome to the Frank Inn Stein, I’m July! How can I help ya?”“Hello!” I said. “We’re here to talk with Howard?”July nodded. “Ah, he’s out back. I can fetch him.”“Does he own the place?” I asked.“Howard? No, I’m the proprietor. Howard does work here on occasion. Good man, Howard. Helps a lot of folk. You can eye the menus if you want, I’ll be back in a blink.”July waved toward some seats off to the side, then ducked back to behind a door that I guessed led to the kitchen.“Alrighty then,” I said. The menus were painted onto a thin wooden slab with iron bindings around them. I carried one over to the table July had pointed out and sat, my friends taking the seats around me and leaving one open for Howard. “This is mostly just different ways of cooking fish,” I said after inspecting the list for a moment.“They are a fishing village,” Amaryllis said.“They’re a village of fishfolk, you’d think maybe they’d hesitate to eat fish,” I said.“Have you ever eaten a mammal?” Bastion asked.I blinked. “Alright, that’s fair. I wonder if they have salads. The fish in Needleford made my tummy just a bit queasy, like meat does.”“Isn’t fish a kind of meat?” Awen asked.I had no idea. “Maybe?”“You’re both morons,” Amaryllis said.“Well, if you’re not a moron, then do you know what fish is?”“Obviously it’s just fish,” she said.I eyed her suspiciously. That didn’t sound right at all. Before I could poke her about it, July returned, accompanied by Howard. “Hello everyone,” Howard said as he pulled out the spare seat and sat down. “Heard you were all over the town today. Enjoy yourselves?”“It’s a very pretty town,” I said. “The people here look nice too.”“They are,” he said. “Hope they didn’t give you any trouble. Some can be weird about strangers.”“Nope, no trouble,” I said.July grinned. “Will you folk be having anything to eat?” she asked.I was a bit peckish, so I ordered a plateful of veggies and some fish, then my friends ordered a bit of this and that. Bastion even asked for a stein of the local brew, which reminded me. “What’s up with the inn’s name?”“The name? Oh, the first owner, Frank, was a brewer. Passed away some years ago, and I bought the place. Kept the name when I turned it into an inn instead of just a bar.”Orders taken, July went off to prepare things, leaving us with Howard to talk business.“So,” he began. “Spoke to the smith, the harbourmaster, and a few others besides. See, this is a delicate matter.”I sat up a bit. “Oh?”He nodded. “You probably guessed by now, but we used to be human here. Local dungeon opened up, and with it we finally had a way to get past our first evolution. It’s a small dungeon, four floors now, but it stayed at three for a good long while. Easy too.”Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.“And it allowed you to take a class that turned you into fishfolk,” I said.“That’s right,” Howard said. “My dad did it, so did my grandparents. Some of the kids are fourth generation fishfolk now.”“Alright,” I said. “That’s kinda neat.”“It’s good for us. It means a higher level cap, and the skills we get from the Fishman class allow us to do all sorts of handy things. But there’s been a problem lately.”“What’s that?” I asked.Howard waggled his hands a bit. “It’s hard to say what exactly it is. None of us can tell, but most of us folk in Inmouth have been here for a right long time. We don’t have any academics or the like, and none of the texts we do have talk about it.”“That’s not surprising,” Amaryllis muttered.“A few months ago, our dungeon started acting strange. Not as many critters on the top floors, the puzzles were a little uncanny. Nothing too odd though. We thought maybe it was about to gain a floor. That would be inconvenient, but it happens.”“Inconvenient?” I asked.“You idiot,” Amaryllis said. “Did planting those ears take up too much brain space? Think from these villager’s point of view. They get to their tenth level, maybe by the time they're our age even. Then, unlike folk in a city, they want to keep on growing, so they need to visit a dungeon. The local dungeon. If it only has a few floors, they can do it in an afternoon. Once in their life. They can form strategies and ideas on how to tackle it. I bet you have a few that go down often?”Howard nodded. “I’m one of them,” he said.I eyed the fishman and muttered ‘inspect’ under my breath.A Fishman Deep Diver, level 20.“I go down maybe once a month, twice sometimes. Know the dungeon like the back of my hand,” he said. “I was one of the first to notice the changes.”“Right,” Amaryllis said. “Now imagine if the locals suddenly need to deal with a dungeon that has a few more floors? That’ll increase the difficulty for all of them.”“Oh, right,” I said. “That makes sense.”Howard smiled, but his story paused as July returned with the food. It was only once we were all settled and eating that he continued. “So, the dungeon starts to act up. That’s when we noticed these things crawling up around the dungeon core.”“You looked at the core?” Bastion asked.“You saw roots?” I asked at the same time. Then I jumped.A New Quest!Trim the Cruel!You have heard a rumour about an Evil Root! Discover more! Destroy it!Bastion looked at me strangely.Howard eyed us both. “We don’t poke at our core. We might be isolated and quiet folk, but we’re not dumb. But we did look. And yes, I guess you could call those things roots. The dungeon’s since gone weird. More dangerous in places, less in others. You seem to know about them?”I nodded, even after noticing Amaryllis’ warning look. She might have thought I was an idiot, but I wasn’t stupid. “We’ve encountered them before. They’re called Evil Roots, and the World doesn’t like them.”“And how would you know what the World does or doesn’t like?” Bastion asked.“It told us, obviously,” I said before turning back to Howard. “Did you manage to break the root?”“No. We tried a few things. But it’s close to the core. Do you know of a way to break it?”“I think that Cleaning magic can do it, but it needs to be really strong. Other than that, I don’t know. Sorry.”Howard sighed. “It was too much to ask. We do have one solution.”“You do?” I asked.Howard shifted in his seat. “There’s this item. An ancient font of power. It’s strong, and it’s dangerous. But it might be able to break the... you called it an Evil Root? It might be able to break it.”“What is it? The font thing, I mean. And why haven’t you tried yet?”“I don’t rightly know what it is. I just know that it’s a weapon. You heard about the fog here? It hides these nasty critters. Light will scare ‘em off a bit, but not as much as you’d want. They stay away from the shore though... mostly. This font? They won’t come within a league of it.”“So it’s what you use to protect the town?”Howard shook his head. “Not us. Another town. They have it in the middle of their town. No walls or anything, because they don’t need them. Nothing evil comes close.”Amaryllis leaned forwards. “You want to use the thing they use to keep safe in order to save your own dungeon?”“That’s the whole of it, yes,” Howard said.“Won’t they be in danger while you use the font?” I asked.“Only for a day or two. We’re honest folk, we’d return it.”“Only if there’s anyone left to return it to,” Amaryllis snarked. “Though I admit that I’m curious about this font thing.”Howard raised his hands in surrender. “We’re not desperate enough for anything wrong-headed. And if we were, then we’d find some solution that didn’t involve hurting our neighbours. We just want to ask them if they’d help us.”“And where do we come in?” Bastion asked.“Well, the problem is that Hopsalot is a couple of days' walk to the north. It’s not an easy place to reach, even for the hardiest of us. Two days there, then back. Even if we get the font, it might take a day or so to delve to the dungeon’s core. Then two days back to Hopsalot.”I snapped my fingers as I got it. “You want to have us send a message over? Or go there and back with the Beaver Cleaver?”Howard nodded. “If Insmouth had its own airship it wouldn’t be a problem. As it is... it’ll be dangerous no matter what. We can pay for the trip there and back. Mostly in supplies and trade goods, but we have a bit of gold.”“I’ll have to talk to my friends and crew about it,” I said. “But I wouldn’t mind helping.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Three — Hop Along to Hopsalot
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Three — Hop Along to Hopsalot I knelt on one of the benches along the fancier side of the Beaver Cleaver, arms crossed over the rails and back bent forwards so that I could rest my head on my forearms. I was beat. Even with the exercise with Bastion, I was still a little under the weather.I was getting better though. Still, a day of gallivanting around Insmouth and trying out different things had left me dead on my feet.Below, the fog the villagers had warned us about roiled and twisted, almost like the waves in the nearby bay. I could imagine that we were riding over the clouds if I wanted.“Hey.”I looked away from the fog and over my shoulder just as Amaryllis sat down next to me with a sigh. She looked about as tired as I felt. “Not going to bed?” I asked.“I noticed you weren’t in your room. You know, you were just sick, it’s not wise to be out at night like this.” She tilted her head to the side to look at me. “Not even wearing a jacket. Idiot.”I smiled. I was in my night clothes, a big shirt and some underthings, and a big pair of wooly socks of course. It was comfy clothes. “I guess. The air feels nice.” It was humid and cool. It kind of reminded me of the air back home.“If you get sick, it’s on you,” she said.“Will you still tuck me in?” I asked.Amaryllis face went a strange shade of red. “That was all Awen,” she said too quickly.I sat up a bit. “Wait, did you actually tuck me in?”“I did not!” she said.“You did!”“I just said the contrary.”I grinned from ear to ear. “I guess I was too sick to notice it.”Amaryllis crossed her wings. “I didn’t.”I pulled her into a sidelong hug, crossed wings and all. “I can tuck you in later if that makes you feel better. We’ll be even then!”“Absolute moron,” she grumbled into my shoulder.She tilted her head a bit so that she could look over the side of the ship with me. The fog would warp and shift sometimes, and when the wind moved just right there would be some openings in it deep enough that we could see the ground below. That’s when we could catch glimpses of things moving in the dark.“What an awful place we’ve found,” Amaryllis said.“I don’t know,” I said. “It sure is scary, but it’s also different. I’ve never seen a place like this before, and I don’t know if I ever would have back home.”Amaryllis was quiet for a while. “Do you miss it?”“Seeing scary things?” I asked.“No, you idiot, your home.” She nestled a little closer. I was sure that if I teased she’d just say that idiocy gave off warmth or something. “You never really talk about it.”I didn’t know exactly what to say. Thinking about it made my chest achy in a weird way. So I pulled Amaryllis even closer and leaned my head against hers. She didn’t protest. “I don’t know,” I said. “I... My parents moved a lot. From town to town. My dad was always chasing work, and my mom didn’t like staying in one place for long.”“So you’re used to moving?” Amaryllis said.“That’s not quite it, but yeah. The thing is... uh, where I’m from you need to go to school, from when you’re pretty young until you’re basically an adult. You’re supposed to learn all sorts of things, one of them being how to make friends. I never really got that lesson, you know? Every year it would be a new school, with nice people but none that I knew. And they already had their own friends.”“You were left out,” Amaryllis said.“A little? I’m pretty good at meeting people, I guess. I just never clicked with anyone, not the way I wanted to.”Amaryllis uncrossed her arms. I thought she was going to get up, but then her talons started scratching my back through my nightshirt. “You idiot,” she sighed.“I think my parents are probably worried,” I said. “That’s... I should probably feel more bad about that than I do. But they’re the sort of people that would love to be in a place like this, with magic and monsters and all sorts of strange people to meet. They’d probably really like you.”“Are you saying I’m strange?” she asked.“There aren’t any harpies where I’m from. I think they’d find you really cool.”“Hmph,” Amaryllis hmphed.“There are other things that I kind of miss. Cars were neat. And music. We had so much music. The internet was a terrible place, but it could also be kinda cool sometimes.” I shook my head. “Lots of really naughty people there, though.”Amaryllis and I sat there for a little longer, until the skies cleared a little, and we could see the stars twinkling down at us. There was a bit of light from Insmouth, but not enough to hide away the night sky.“You can’t see this many stars from home,” I said. “There are way too many lights on for that.”“To prevent monsters?” Amaryllis said.“No, just... because we like lights I guess. We were always very afraid, I think.”Amaryllis snuggled up a little, her feathers poofing up in a way that made them really soft. I almost nodded off for a moment before she spoke up. “We’re going on that hare-brained mission, aren’t we?”“To save Insmouth?” I asked.She nodded.“I... I don’t know if I could live with myself if we didn’t at least try.” I liked my lips. “I got another quest for it.”Amaryllis nodded. She didn’t seem surprised. “You do know that we’re on a schedule, right?”“And will us arriving early be worth an entire village of people?” I asked.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.Amaryllis shrugged. “I suppose it wasn’t much of an argument in any case. Not with a world-given quest. They had better reward us fairly though, otherwise you can explain all of this to Clementine.”“That’s fair,” I said. “We should go to bed.”“We should,” Amaryllis agreed.We still took a few minutes to relax before finally heading to bed.
* * *
The next morning I was up bright and early and bunny-tailed! The grey fog had faded with the sunrise and left the world smelling fresh and full of life.Boats were leaving the docks at Insmouth to tackle the choppy waters of the bay, a whole fleet of bright sails heading out to sea, and from the scents in the air, the townsfolk were working hard preparing a hundred breakfasts already.We, for our part, had a little gathering in the Beaver’s kitchen. “Alright,” I said as I set down a huge bowl of porridge next to a plate stacked tall with buttery toast. We didn’t have maple syrup for the oatmeal, but life was like that sometimes. “I know that some of you are aware, but I want to make sure that everyone is filled in,” I said.“Filled in to what?” Joe asked.“Our next mission,” I said.“You’re not dropping us off here?” the scallywag asked.“Only if you want off. Insmouth is a strange little town, but I’m sure they’d welcome you with open arms.”Joe’s nose scrunched. “I don’t think we’d fit in,” he said.“That’s alright too. So! Insmouth needs our help. The town wants us to head over to another town called Hopsalot just to the north to pick up something there. We don’t know if they’ll be willing to give that thing up though, so we’re going to have to negotiate with them. Or rather, someone from Insmouth will have to.”“We’re taking passengers then?” Sally asked.“Just one,” I confirmed as I passed some bowls around. “Howard, the town... actually I don’t think he has a title. But he’s a nice enough person.”“What are we getting?” Sally asked.I tapped my chin. “Howard called it a Font. I’m not actually sure what it is, but it apparently keeps monsters away. It might be tricky to get the people in Hopsalot to give theirs to us. We’ll have to see.”Discussion after that turned to other things. Mostly revolving around the upcoming trip. We didn’t have any indication on any map of where Hopsalot was, so we had to guesstimate it a little bit based on what Howard said.Clive at least seemed to think it wouldn’t be much of a problem. “One of the great advantages of air travel is having the height to see great distances. Small things are difficult to find, even when you know where they are, but an entire village? We should be able to manage.”“Brilliant!” I said. “We have a guide too, so that ought to help.”I grabbed my handy old kettle, put some water in it, and set it to boil with some mana while the others finished up their oats. By the time they were done the tea was ready.A cup of mixed berry tea brewed by an amateur, helps sooth muscles and energizes the drinker.For a moment everyone cuddled their cups close and enjoyed the warmth of some freshly made tea, then it was time to get up and go.I did the dishes with a snap of my fingers (and a bit of mana spent) and then we rallied to the deck to get the Beaver ready to go. Orange took her place atop the figurehead while sails were inspected, the fuel tanks were partially refilled by Awen and Steve passing cans up and down, and Clive and I made a quick inspection tour of the ship.So far, the Beaver had really only done light duty for a ship. There wasn’t much to show as far as signs of wear and tear went, but it was better to keep an eye on things than not.Less than an hour after sunrise, Howard showed up below the ship and hailed us. He had a big pack on his back and a few odds and ends clipped onto some belts around his waist. No armour, and the only weapon I noticed was a knife in a strap around his leg.“Ahoy!” I called down to him. “Glad you arrived! You’re just on time.”“Really now?” he asked. “That’s mighty good news. Now, how does an old fishman like me get all the way up there?”I laughed. “Give me a moment, I’ll lower the ladder.”As soon as the ladder was down Howard climbed his way up and scrambled onto the deck. “Reminds me a bit of being on the sea when it’s calm,” he said as he looked around.“It is an airship,” I said.“True. Don’t know why I had in mind that it wouldn’t sway and buck like a water ship,” he said.“Did you speak to your crew?”“I did,” I said. “We’ll bring you over to Hopsalot and back.” he grinned, a big fishy smile. “By the way, you look ready for adventure.”“Oh, this stuff? It’s what I wear when going in the dungeon. Minus a few things. Figured that since I was out of the village, it was better safe than not.”I gave him a big thumbs up. “That’s a clever way of looking at things. If you’re the only one coming aboard, then I guess we’re ready to set sail. Do you want to sit over by the wheel? You can help us with directions once we’re underway.”“Sure thing,” Howard said.Soon, we weighed anchor, and the Beaver’s engine was happily thumping away below deck. An oily Awen came topside, grinning past the soot on her face before she came over to the quarterdeck. “He’s purring,” she said.I grinned right back. “Then let’s see how far along we can go. There’s a whole bunch more adventure to be had.”And so, with the winds at our backs and the sky calling to us, we set off to the next leg of our journey.
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Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Four — The Village Hidden in the Leaves
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Four — The Village Hidden in the Leaves The Beaver Cleaver cut across the sky on a north-westerly course that had us flying over hills and an endless untamed forest where the occasional river broke up the sea of green.Howard took a bit to get used to the perspective. It was hard to navigate using familiar landmarks when you were seeing those landmarks from above. Still, once he got us going in the right direction it was pretty smooth sailing, with only the occasional course correction to fly past a specific bend in a river or past a formation of rocks.Hopsalot wasn’t that far from Insmouth. The two days of travel time seemed to be mostly because there wasn’t an actual road between the two villages, and because Howard’s route twisted and turned with the landscape instead of darting straight towards Hopsalot.Being in the air gave us a big advantage with that. By the time noon was rolling around and our lunchtime sandwiches were nearly done with, we could see little trails of smoke coming up fast ahead.“Let’s circle around halfway and anchor ourselves next to the village,” I said. “Do you know if there are any fields near Hopsalot we can use?” I asked Howard.“Sure, there are a few. They have a lot of trees in their town, but there are some open areas too.”“What can you tell us about the people from there? Are they nice?”Howard’s face took on a strange expression for a moment. “They’re certainly nice, yes. Perhaps too much so. Though I haven’t been here in nearly half a decade.”I didn’t know what that could even mean, but maybe Howard had gotten a strange reception the last time he’d been here. Hopsalot grew close enough that I was able to make out the town, or at least some of it. There was a river in the middle of it that switched back and forth, with bridges crossing it here and there, and near the centre of town was a big building with a waterwheel on one side.The problem was that there were only maybe a dozen other buildings I could see between all the trees.Then I noticed the homes built atop the trees and it clicked.“It’s a village of tree houses!” I said.“Yeah, buns tend to like building in strange ways,” Howard said.I blinked. “Buns?”“Yeah, your sort of folk,” Howard said with a gesture to my head.I got excited and leaned over the figureheads as we crossed over the hilly little town. I noticed little gardens and neat little rows of bushes here and there, as well as long-eared heads turning up to stare at us as we coasted by. Clive was at the wheel, so our turn and stop was textbook-perfect and soon enough we were dropping our anchors by the edge of the town.“I think we’ll be using the same away team as last time,” I said as I hopped onto the deck. “Amaryllis, Awen, Bastion if you want to come. And of course Mister Howard. We’re kinda here for you, after all.”“Thank you, ma’am,” Howard said. “I’ll be honest and say that these old bones of mine are looking forward to being on solid ground again.”I patted him on the back, then shuffled over to the ladders to lower them down.Bastion leapt off the side, wings buzzing, then because she couldn’t be shown up by a Sylph, Amaryllis jumped off too. Awen and I stared at each other and shared an eye roll before she started down with the ladder.I just walked off the edge of the ship and landed in a crouch at the bottom where I could hold the ladder taut to help Awen and Howard come down.The moment everyone was down I set my hands on my hips and surveyed the town of Hopsalot. No greeting party? Didn’t they worry any?The town was idyllic. They had cute little homes set up in the branches of trees and with doors and porches painted in soft pastels, and some of the bigger hills I’d noticed from above were actually burrows, with big doors set in their sides and sometimes big round windows that let us peek into living rooms and kitchens. That’s where the smoke was coming from, smoke that smelled like fresh bread and roasting veggies.The town had a bunch of cobbled lanes criss-crossing it, and everywhere the road met the stream gurgling through the town there would be a little arched bridge with carefully tooled rails carved into fanciful shapes.There were people too. Buns! With big ears and bigger smiles. They mostly wore earthy clothes, the men in overalls and the women in long summer dresses covered with aprons at the front. They seemed like very nice people. Plenty of them were gathering in clumps next to gardens or at intersections to point at the Beaver.What really caught my eye was the row of rabbit ears poking out from behind a nearby hilltop.They wiggled and waved, and sometimes they’d rise up a little and I’d catch a glimpse of big curious eyes staring from under the brim of flower-yellow caps.It seemed, much to my glee, that little buns grew their ears out before the rest of their body caught up. Like puppies with too-big ears. Mine were not quite two feet tall, and so were the little buns!That meant that some of them were nearly a third ear in height and it was adorable. And they all had big rounded cheeks, and huge eyes, and I wanted to hug them so bad!I squealed and waved to the nearest group, only for them to scream and hide away. Not a terrified scream, but a happy playful one. “I like this place,” I announced to my friends.“I noticed,” Amaryllis deadpanned.“How can you not like it?” I asked her. “It’s so cute!”She rolled her birdy eyes and sighed. “It is quite nice, yes. A bit primitive, but at least it’s clean.”“Someone’s coming,” Bastion said.I looked over and noticed that he was quite right, a woman was walking our way, trailed by six teeny tiny buns who were using her skirt as cover to peek at us. Next to her was a huge slab of a man, like a walking wall of muscle. He had a big hammer looped to his belt, and one of his ears looked like it had been chewed off in the middle. The lady stopped some dozen steps away and crossed her arms under her chest. “Hello there!” she called.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.I hopped forward, scaring the little buns into hiding behind the lady until only the tip of their ears poked out.“Hi there!” I said. “My name is Broccoli Bunch, captain of the Beaver Cleaver!”The lady hummed. “Oh my, I’m the mayoress of Hopsalot, you can call me Momma,” she said. “You don’t look like one of my buns.”“Oh?” I asked. “Yeah, I’m not from around here. These are my friends, Awen, Amaryllis, and Bastion, and that’s mister Howard, he’s from Insmouth to the south.”“A harpy, a human, a sylph, and a fishman neighbour. Oh my, oh my,” Momma said. “Welcome, everyone, to Hopsalot. We don’t have much, but what we do have is yours. I hope we can become good friends.”I nodded super fast. “I hope that too! Your town is very pretty.”“Thank you,” Momma said. “But it’s not the town that matters, it’s the people living in it. I’d like to think that the town’s just a reflection of the people within.”I decided that I liked Momma. “That’s a nice way of thinking!”“Are you a sky pirate?”The question came from a tiny head poking out from behind Momma’s skirt. A little bun girl, her head tilted down and her ears almost dragging to the ground. She was hugging a little plush doll to her chest, one of the doll’s ears in her mouth.“Not technically,” I said. “But we’ve fought pirates before!”A bunch more heads popped out, all with expressions varying between ‘whoa’ and disbelief.“I think if you keep on like that you’ll earn yourself quite the following of little listeners,” Momma said. She chuckled and reached back to rub one of the bun’s between the ears.“Are they yours?” I asked.“Oh my,” Momma said. “Some of them certainly are. We have a lot of little buns here. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of who is who’s child.”“They all just run around?” I asked.Momma shrugged. “It’s safe enough around town. As long as they know not to head into the woods. We have some folk keeping watch, of course, and they all have school in the afternoon. Isn’t that right?”There was a chorus of grumbles from the little buns. It seemed as though school wasn’t really popular.“Hey, miss captain?” One of the bun boys asked. “Can we go on your ship?”I smiled. “Not right now. But maybe later we can give you guys a tour?”That seemed to brighten them up a bit.“But only if you behave and are good little buns.”A few of them deflated at that, but some seemed just as eager. “Alright everybun,” Momma said. “I need to keep our guests company for a bit, why don’t you all run off and play?”“But we wanna see the ship!”“Ara, you can look at it all you want without bothering our guests, right?” Momma asked. Soon she got all of the little buns to hop away, and a few moments later there was an eager game of ‘pirates versus good guys’ going on atop one of the nearby hills, with lots of tumbling about and rough-housing and squealing laughter. Momma eyed them all for a bit, then turned to us with a smug smile. “That’s taken care of. Now, are there any supplies you need? Or are you just here to rest?”“We’re here for business,” I said. “Or, well, Howard here is.”“I see,” Momma said. “Why don’t you follow me over to my place then. I left the cauldron on the stove with some soup on, and I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”“Thank you,” I said. “We have some veggies and such on our ship too, if you want.”“Now why would I want that?” Momma asked.“Well, your food should be to keep all your little buns, and yourself, you can’t just give it all to strangers like that,” I said. “Not if it means empty little tummies.”Momma laughed, then she pulled me into a tight-tight hug. “Oh, you’re a sweet little one. But no worries. My garden is still quite plentiful. We won’t run out of carrots and turnips any time soon.”Looping my arm in hers, Momma pulled me along and down one of the cobbled paths. Her big friend, the man with the hammer and the broken ear, followed along at a leisurely pace, a content smile tugging his lips up.I saw my friends sharing a look before they started walking to keep up as well.Momma’s house was near the centre of Hopsalot. It was a strange little home, with half of it built into a hill that had a huge tree atop it, and the other half hanging off said tree. Entrance was little more than a few stone steps leading up to a big round door dug into the side of the hill.Momma opened it up and gestured to a rug right by the entrance. “Please wipe your paws,” she said. “I do enough dusting as it is.”Nodding, I took my shoes off, then used some cleaning magic on them before placing them onto a rack next to the doorway. I helped my friends clean off their boots too, just in case.The interior was very snug, with a low-ish ceiling and a bunch of small corridors broken up by arches every so often, all lit with the orange-y light of a few lamps hanging from the walls.Momma led us to the dining room, which was a long, curved room with a curved table in its middle with a mixed assortment of chairs and stools all around it. There weren’t any windows, but there were plenty of little paintings hanging from the walls with deserts and forests and pretty mountains on them.“So,” Momma said as she sat at the head of the table and set her elbows down. “What did you want to talk about?”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Five — Grandmomma's Hug
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Five — Grandmomma's Hug Howard took off his fisherman’s cap. “Miss Momma, I’m Howard of Insmouth. I do believe we’ve met once before.”Momma nodded. “I thought I recognized you,” she said. “We don’t see our closest neighbours all that often.”“The road’s... well, there aren’t any,” Howard said with a self-depreciating chuckle. “As things are going, there might not be any need for them.”Momma frowned and leaned forwards. “What do you mean?“Ma’am, Insmouth isn’t doing so well. That’s why we solicited the help of the fine captain here. Our dungeon, there’s some cruel thing strangling it. An Evil Root. We’ve tried everything we can to stop it, but nothing has worked so far.”Momma made a sound that was almost a whine. “You poor things. What is the Evil Root doing?”“It’s twisting our dungeon,” Howard said. “Turning the traps into awful things, and letting the creatures that lurk within spill out as grotesque monsters. We can’t truly use the dungeon anymore. Not with the added danger. We could just overlook it, maybe, but the monsters are spilling out into Insmouth.”The older bun lady sighed. “That’s awful. Do you need buns who can fight? We have a few who guard the edges of the forest. Maybe we could send some back with you? I’m certain they could help. And our last crop was fairly good. We can send some preserves over, to tide you along.”Howard bowed. “Thank you, ma’am, that is very generous of you, but... no. I was sent to ask you for your font.”“No.”I shifted on my stool. A glance to my friends showed that they felt just as awkward as I did.Well, alright. Awen looked awkward. Amaryllis was just paying attention, and Bastion had his eyes closed and arms crossed. One out of three was good though.“That’s really unfortunate,” I said with a sigh.One of Momma’s ears twitched my way before she looked at me. “What are your stakes in this, Captain?”“Ah, please just call me Broccoli. And I don’t really have any? I mean, I really would like to help Insmouth. They’re nice people, and I don’t think they deserve to be in so much trouble.”Momma’s smile turned even sadder. “Nobunny deserves pain or tribulation, little bun.”“Exactly,” I said. “So if we can help, we should.”Momma shook her head. “I don’t think you see the full picture.”I pouted, but she was probably right. “Can you explain, then?” I shifted forwards on my seat. “I mean, if it’s not too much trouble?”“It isn’t,” Momma said. “And I hope that it will smooth things over with our neighbours. The offers for other kinds of assistance are still very much on the table, of course.” She cleared her throat in a rather dainty way. “Hopsalot is a village that has been around since the days of the fall of the Tanyints Empire and the rise of the Kingdom of Pyro. It was a time when neighbours turned on neighbours, and being different was a danger.”“Oh no,” I muttered.“Our ancestors escaped, of course, and sailed into the Flat Sea. They created a small community on the Scattered Isles, but, as is our want, we reproduced far too quickly, and soon the islands, small as they are, couldn’t support us all. You know what I mean, I imagine?”I felt my face warming up a bit and shook my head. “No, not at all.”“Hmm, well, some took to the seas again, and we arrived on the shores of these forests. It was such a dangerous place, but one that was rich as well. We moved deep into the woods and settled here. It was only thanks to our one relic that we managed to survive as long as we have. I don’t think that giving it away would help in any way.”“What if Insmouth only took it for a while?” I asked.“Even parting with it for a week would be dangerous for us. And I doubt it would be of any use to Insmouth.” Momma stood up. “Let me prepare some tea for you, and perhaps a little snack. You travelled quite a ways to come all the way here.”I got up too. “I’ll help!” I said.She smiled at me. “There’s no need.”“I have the Teamaking skill,” I said. “But I need to practice it more. And I’d love to see what bun teas are like.”Momma hesitated, then nodded and gestured to the door at the back of the room. I waved at my friends as I followed her out and into a kitchen. The room was near the centre of the round house, and shaped like a semi-circle. The flat wall had a stove in its middle, and the curved section had all sorts of counters and cupboards and shelves for plates and such.The room smelled a bit like smoke, a smell that only grew better when Momma shifted a ring on the stove and looked at the fire within. “Could you pass me a log or two, dear?”“Sure thing,” I said as I hopped to fetch a piece of wood.When I tried to tuck it into the stove, I found a pair of hands carefully tucking back the hair on the side of my head. “Sorry,” Momma said. “I was curious.”I looked up to her, my own curiosity plain.“You weren’t born a bun,” she said matter-of-factly.“Oh. No, I wasn’t,” I said. “My first class was Cinnamon Bun, and it turned into Cinnamon Bun Bun later.”Momma smiled and rearranged my hair. “That’s wonderful. Did you spend much time with buns?”“Ah, I only have one bun friend. She’s a bookseller in Port Royal. Booksie Cabbage.”“I see, I see,” Momma said. She pulled out a tin of tea leaves and set them on a counter, then she grabbed a kettle and filled it with a few pumps from a manual faucet over the sink. “Did she tell you about bun culture and such?”“Not too much,” I said.“Oh my, you poor little bun,” she said.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.I tilted my head. “Am I missing out on something?” I asked.“Of course you are. Bun culture is very rich, and surprisingly old. There have been buns of every sort. Adventurers, explorers, kings, queens and tyrants. But most of our culture comes from places like Hopsalot, little enclaves where bun families cross paths and try to build something nice together.”“That does sound nice,” I said. “I wouldn’t mind living in a place like this. With a little house and a garden.”“That’s the spirit,” Momma said. “Now, if you were born a bun, you’d be right at that age where you’d run away from home and go poking around at the wider world.”“Isn’t that what I’m kinda doing already?” I asked.She chuckled. “I suppose so. Captain of your own little ship, filled with friends who seem to respect and love you in equal measure. I’m sure you’ve already planted all sorts of ideas in the little one’s heads, even if you’ve only been here an hour.”I huffed. “You’re making me sound like a bad influence,” I said.Momma laughed and pulled me into a big hug. It wasn’t a hug like I was used to getting from my friends. Somehow it felt more... mom-like. “I bet the little ones would talk all four of your ears off with their questions,” she said. “And I have no doubt that they’ll be making imaginary airships out of whatever junk they can cobble together.”“Mean,” I said. I didn’t pull out of the hug though. It was very warm, and Momma was soft. “You know, I came back here to see if we could still help Insmouth somehow.”Momma nodded. “I figured as much. You might be trying to play sly, but you wear your emotions on your sleeves.” She reached up and patted my ears down onto my head. “And on your ears. You’d make an awful liar.”“So there’s nothing we can do?”“We? Well, I suppose there are a few things. I’d need to see this Evil Root myself, I think. Maybe it’s just some creature we can get rid of?”I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I’ve seen them before. Twice now. Both times the dungeon had to be destroyed.”Momma stiffened a little. “Had to be?” she asked.“That’s what the World said.” I pulled out of the hug and gave her my most serious look. “The world wants us to get rid of those Evil Roots. No matter what.”Momma reached up and touched her bottom lip. “And how do I know you’re being truthful?”“I... don’t know how to prove it. But I am a really bad liar.”“You could just be a very good actress instead,” she pointed out.I scrunched my nose. “I wish I could show you miss menu.”“Miss Menu?” Momma asked.“Yeah. I call the normal menu Mister Menu, because he’s quite polite. But the one for the quests is different. It looks the same, but it’s a bunch trickier.”“I see,” Momma said. “I think I’ll choose to believe you.”“Huh?”“Like I said, you’re a poor liar,” Momma said. “And I have an inkling that you really do want the best. Now, could you steep the tea while I grab some cups?”I blinked a few times, then jumped to it. “Thanks,” I said. “Does this mean you’ll help?”“Not with our relic, no. I don’t think it would be of any use in this situation anyway. But, I think there might be something that could help nearby. And I will send over some of our best to assist. It’s the right thing to do.”“What sort of thing?” I asked.“Have you ever explored a ruin before?” Momma asked.“Just once,” I said, thinking of Threewells. “It wasn’t that old of a ruin though. Mostly weak ghosts and stuff like that. I got the Archeologist skill, but it’s really weak.”“My my, still full of surprises,” Momma said.“We’ve only just met! You can hardly expect to know all of my surprising things.”Momma giggled and patted my head again. “You remind me of some of my cute grandchildren.”“I’m not cu— wait, grand-children?” I asked.“Of course, who do you think all those little ones hanging off my skirt were? Though to be fair, some might be neighbours, it’s hard to keep track. I have... well over two-dozen grandchildren? A couple of great-grandbabies too, though they’re mostly too young to be running around just yet.”“Whoa,” I said. “That’s a lot! I kinda wanna see what a baby bun looks like. Are their ears already long when they’re still small?”“Long, yes, but they only grow stiff enough to stand on their own when a little bun is two or three years old, until then they’re rather floppy.”“That must be so cute!” I said.Momma nodded sagely. “It really is. Human babies suck on their thumbs, but buns tend to nibble their own ears.”“Can I see some?” I asked.Momma giggled. “They’re not pets you know. You’d need to ask their moms. I’m a little too old to have my own now.”“You don’t look very old,” I said.“Once you grow strong enough, you tend to age more gracefully,” Momma said. “Let that be a bit of advice for you. Level up fast and quickly when you’re young, and you’ll stay spry for a whole lot longer. Now, where did I put the honey?” Momma poked through a few cupboards before finding a jar of honey and adding it to a tray covered in cups. “There you go. All set.”I nodded and skipped after her, kettle in hand.We set things onto the table, where it looked like Amaryllis and Bastion were arguing about something. Mostly Amaryllis was the one arguing while Bastion politely refuted her. Howard was sitting and staring at his hands, looking a bit lost.Momma sat down at her place and smiled at everyone. “I think I’ve found something of a solution for your problem, Mister Howard. But it will require a bit of effort on everyone’s part.”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Six — Ready to do Violence on Their Behalf
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Six — Ready to do Violence on Their Behalf “This,” Momma said as she laid a scroll down onto the table. “Is a map of the area.” She spread the scroll open, revealing a map carefully drawn in soft greens and vibrant blues. A few marks here and there, with some careful handwriting next to them, indicating points of interest.I noticed Insmouth to the south, tucked at the end of the bay, and Hopsalot nearer to the middle of the map.“Alright,” I said as I stood next to Momma, my teacup cradled in both hands.She touched the start of a river to the west, traced it through the centre of Hospalot, then tapped a point a bit to the east, an area that had a few hills and a little river crossing through it. “Right over here. The area’s been cleared of trees for a while now. There’s a dungeon here, an old one that we previously used to train. It’s been getting strange lately.”“Another Evil Root?” Howard asked.Quest Updated!Trim the Cruel!You have heard a rumour about an Evil Root! Discover more! Destroy it!I looked to Amaryllis, then nodded when she met my eye.“Possibly,” Momma said. “We’ve been thinking of sending some of our warriors over to see if something was up. The dungeon is set in the ruins of some ancient fort. Lots of weaker enemies to practice against. Now we’ve noticed that sometimes the water flowing from there is stagnant and foul.”“Moving stagnant water?” Amaryllis asked.“Yes,” Momma said. “Or at least, something like that. I’m afraid I don’t know much about it. We’ve been warning the little ones against drinking from the stream, and that we’ve been boiling our water to keep safe.”“That’s probably a wise thing to do, in any case,” Bastion said. “So, if I understood correctly, you want to go see about this dungeon before the one in Insmouth?”“Not quite,” Momma said. “I think we could fix this dungeon first, then see about the one in Insmouth. If we can’t fix this one, then it’s unlikely that we can help further south. That, and there are some old relics we sometimes find in those dungeons that might come in handy.”Bastion tapped his fingers against the hilt of his sword. “How many floors does this dungeon have?”“Nine,” Momma said.“And you use it for practice?” he added, surprised.“Buns tend to have a bit of wanderlust when they reach a certain age. We don’t like to send our young ones out into the world without them knowing how to defend themselves at least.”Momma smiled rather wistfully. “Sometimes, even that isn’t enough. The world outside of Hopsalot can be a very dangerous place. But buns will be buns.”“I see,” Bastion said. “What else can you tell us about the dungeon?”Momma hummed. “The dungeon grew out of some ruins. In that regard, it’s a rather typical dungeon. Lots of simple traps. Skeletal enemies on the first few floors. The deeper down you go, the more difficult the enemy becomes to combat. It’s very much a magic and undeath-themed dungeon.”I grinned. “We’ll get to fight skeletons?” I asked.“I haven’t decided whether or not you should come,” Momma said.I blinked. “Huh?”“No offense, little bun, but you and your friends, with the exception of the fine Sylph paladin, are not on the stronger side. This is an old dungeon, with foes that you would have difficulty against.”“Huh?” I repeated.“You moron,” Amaryllis said. “Haven’t you looked at the levels of the adults around here?”“No?” I tried. “Are they high?”Momma giggled. “A little bit, yes. These forests are very dangerous.”“But you have that font to keep things safe,” I said.The bun matriarch shook her head. “No sweetie, the font only suppresses the number of creatures in this area. Those that come to Hopsalot tend to be quite fearsome.”“But it looks so peaceful here.”She nodded. “Of course it does. We keep it that way. The woods for a league around Hospalot are patrolled day and night by brave buns. They hunt and drive off the weaker creatures, and work together to bring down the stronger ones. Our peace is earned.”Momma's speech gave off a scary vibe, and I couldn't help but lean back. “I didn’t know that,” I said. “I thought you were just, uh, really nice.”“We are,” Momma said. “It’s a hard lesson for some young buns to learn, but niceness need not mean toothless.”I tightened my fists by my sides and looked to the ground for a bit. It felt like I was being chastised by my mom for not doing the dishes or something. “Sorry,” I said.“There’s nothing to apologize for,” she replied.Amaryllis sighed. “Broccoli is a particular kind of pacifist,” she said.“What kind is that?” Momma asked.“The dumb kind.”“Amaryllis!” I complained. Awen, being the best, patted my shoulder for comfort.“M-miss, um, Momma,” Awen said. “Other than our level, why couldn’t we come along?”Momma hummed. “Perhaps we also don’t want to allow visitors to see our unique way of facing enemies,” the bun said.“Oh!” I said. “Like the Way of the Mystic Bun?” I asked.The woman stared. “Where did you hear of that, little bun?”I shrugged. “It’s a skill I got, from my Cinnamon Bun Bun class. It came from merging... um, if I remember right, it was Hopping, which came from Jumping, and Physical Manakinesis. Oh, and I needed Kicking Combat Proficiency too.”Momma looked me up and down, and I felt as if she was judging me a little, but not in a mean way. “Well, I suppose I can’t fault you if you came by it naturally. It’s a skill that a few buns here have, and one that we find quite useful. A clever bun can use it to take on a much bigger opponent. I hope it serves you well.”This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.“Does that mean we can come along?” I asked.“You seem set on exploring this dungeon,” Momma said. “Yet you’re not close to your next class evolution yet. Why the hurry?”“It’s about the adventure,” I said. “You can’t call yourself an explorer if you sit back and let others do all the snooping around.”She smiled. “I suppose not. Give me a few moments. We were considering going to the dungeon in a few days, not so soon.”“We could wait,” I said.“Can we?” Amaryllis asked. “This detour is already eating up more of our time than I’d want, and whatever lead we had is now dwindling fast. As far as I can tell, what we’re doing here is giving these Buns a chance to prove that they can take care of the local Evil Root on their own. Then we can see about getting their help to Insmouth. It’s a transaction between Insmouth and Hopsalot. We can’t park ourselves here and meddle forever.”“But we want to help both,” I said.Amaryllis shook her head. “No, we want to play middleman so that if both sides come out for the better, we can reap some of the rewards. If things go bad, we aren’t responsible for helping them.”“Amaryllis,” I said.She huffed and turned away from me while crossing her wings. “You soft-hearted idiot. You know what we’re travelling to Sylphfree for, right? Averting a war ought to rank a lot higher than saving a pair of tiny villages way out in the middle of nowhere.”I noticed Howard perking up at the last, but he remained quiet.“I can’t ignore people that need help,” I said.“I know. It’s part of what makes you the idiot you are. It’s also why I haven’t dragged you out of here by one ear yet. There’s a chance the buns here can take care of the root. If so, then that’s great. If not, then it’s not really our concern.”Momma hummed a little tune. “I see you have some discussing to do,” she said. “If everyone is done with their tea, perhaps we can step out back and enjoy the garden while I talk to some of the other buns?”Momma rolled up the map and looked like she was about to leave with it before she hesitated and placed it back onto the table. With a last smile, she picked up the cups left around and walked off.“I think,” I said as soon as the kitchen door was closed. “That my stance is pretty obvious. It would be nice to be able to help, and we’d be making more friends along the way.”“I think we ought to go,” Amaryllis said. “Not without bringing Howard here back, of course. We should keep our word, but we never agreed to any sort of extended stay.”“I agree with Miss Albatross,” Bastion said.“Really? I thought you’d be all for helping people,” I said.“They seem rather competent already,” he said. “I doubt we could offer all that much help.”I scrunched my nose as I thought. I didn’t see whatever Bastion saw when it came to the locals being competent. They were certainly very cute, but they didn’t look like fighters or anything like that. Just normal people with big fuzzy ears and widdle poof-ball tails.“I... I think we should help,” Awen said.I grinned over at her.Then Amaryllis scoffed. “The way you’ve been staring at Momma I think you’d agree to anything she asks.”Awen’s face reddened and her enthusiasm sputtered. “N-no no, that’s not true,” she said. “I was thinking about Rose. Rose things.”I thought about it for a little bit. I was kind of acting rashly, Amaryllis was right about that much. My instinct to try and help was maybe getting in between me and my common sense. Insmouth wasn’t my responsibility, but it was suffering from an Evil Root problem, and in a way that was my problem.On the other hand, our mission was to reach out to try and stop an entire war. A war!I didn’t know if wars on Dirt were anything like those on Earth. I imagined they were a whole lot different. But they were probably just as bad. People trying to hurt others on a grand scale. That was awful to think about, and if we failed to stop that, then, in a way, it would be somewhat our fault.I chewed on my lip a bit while tuning out Amaryllis and Bastion’s discussion. They were arguing about how they could get back.“I think I’ll stay here,” I said.Their discussion cut off.“What?” Amaryllis asked.“I think I’ll stay here. In Hopsalot,” I said. “We need to pass by here on the way north anyway. So you could always just pick me up on the way back. You guys can bring Howard home, then pick me up on the way back.”“And what, pray tell, will you be doing here?” Amaryllis asked.“Helping with the dungeon. Maybe if I help they’ll be able to find some way to break the Evil Root. And maybe that’ll be enough to fix everything. One more pair of hands might not be much, but it might make the difference.”Amaryllis covered her face with her talons. “You idiot,” she said. “Have you really made up your mind?”I nodded. “I know that there’s a chance that this will make us late, and that that could be bad. But we can help here, now, and if we don’t do that just because there’s a chance that we might not be able to help someone later.” I squirmed a little. “I don’t want to be that kind of bun.”Amaryllis threw her wings into the air. “Fine! You obstinate idiot.”“Wow,” I said. I couldn’t help but smile as that tiny knot in my tummy at the thought of my friends being angry came apart. “You gave in fast,” I said.“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.“I don’t know. Maybe you wanted to help all along, but just weren’t sure?”Awen nodded. “Amaryllis is a good person, deep, deep inside.”“Deep... you’re both idiots. And you both know that Momma hasn’t agreed to anything. There’s still a chance she’ll flat out refuse to let us come.”“I think that the gesture will count for a lot then,” I said.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Cuter Than a Bun's Ear
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Cuter Than a Bun's Ear I wore the biggest, goofiest smile as I skipped ahead of all of my best friends.Amaryllis trailed behind me, grumbling and being very Amaryllis-y about being there, but she was there, which made me happy.Awen didn’t grumble or complain. She just hugged her crossbow close, and sometimes made sure her warhammer was loose in its sheath.Bastion, for his part, looked as cool as a really cool cucumber.“Don’t worry guys,” I said. “I’m sure Momma has a couple of good, strong buns with her. We’ll probably be fine.”Amaryllis huffed an ‘you’re an idiot’ kind of huff. “You’re an idiot,” she repeated, this time with words. “I don’t know how you missed it, but that woman is strong. Older, yes, but strong.”“Miss Bristlecone,” Bastion said. “Your uncle is Abraham Bristlecone, correct?”“Awa? Yes, he is,” Awen said. “Do you know him?”“I know of him,” Bastion said. “I suspect that Momma and Mister Bristlecone are around the same level. The kinds of people that you don’t see all that often, and who can cause a great deal of trouble if they put their minds to it.”“Are there people like that with the Sylphs?” I asked as I took mental note about that. Was Momma really that strong? She looked more mom-like than strong-like. Maybe this was one of those ‘moms are scary’ situations.Bastion hummed. “A few. You met Inquisitor Storm. She’s quite formidable. There are some heroes that work among the paladins, and some captains are quite famous for their bravery and strength. Being a very martial nation has helped the sylph gain a few impressive people.”“I hope I get to meet some of them,” I said.“I very much hope the opposite,” Bastion said. “On an entirely different subject, I think we’re being followed.”We were only a couple of meters away from Momma’s house. It was a bit soon for us to have followers. But a look over my shoulder made a few heads dip under the top of the hill under which Momma lived.“Looks like the little buns are curious,” I said.“It seems like a racial trait,” Amaryllis said. “At least, judging by your own tendency to run headlong into trouble.”“Hey!” I said. “I ran into trouble before turning into a bun.”“Ah, so it’s more of a Broccoli problem than a bun problem. I see. I’ll have to ask the buns to forgive me. I shouldn’t put everyone on the same platter.”We found Momma near the middle of Hopsalot, in a part of the town hiding in the shade of a trio of huge trees with a big house in them. I wasn’t sure if it counted as one house, actually, or a few connected by rope bridges.I shook my head and stopped gawking. We had more important things to do than sight-see.I skipped over to Momma, then paused a little ways away. The older bun was talking to a trio of adult buns, all of them wearing bits and pieces of armour and carrying weapons. They looked like hardened adventurers. Very cute hardened adventurers.Momma finished whatever she was saying, then gestured for them to wait before moving over to us. “Hello again,” she said.“Hi!” I replied. “We came to the consensus that we all should come and help, even if we can’t help that much.”Momma chuckled and rubbed one of my ears in a way that made my leg twitch. I didn’t know that could happen. “You’re very welcome for the offer. I was going to decline if you made it, but I’ve just learned that we might be down a helper or two.”“Are they okay?” I asked.“Nothing too serious,” Momma said. “One of my buns was injured near the dungeon. An unlucky arrow, right in the knee. But he’ll be fine in a day or two, I’m sure. Buns can be pretty hardy.”“Oh, okay,” I said. “That’s good, that they’ll be fine, I mean.”Momma set her hands on her hips and eyed the lot of us. “We’ll be heading out in an hour. It takes a while to get to the dungeon. Since we’ll be short a member, I suppose having all of you along will be enough to pick up the slack.”“We’re not that bad,” I said.“Oh my, brave one, aren’t you? No offence, little one, but I don’t think you’re quite as ready as you think. But, we could use some help with the baggage and such-like. And more hands will make lighter work.”I pouted, but Momma didn’t seem ready to argue. Amaryllis looked a bit miffed about it, but when I met Bastion’s eyes he nodded, and I figured he meant that Momma was in the right with this one.“Alright then,” I said. “We can take the Beaver over to the dungeon if you want. It’ll make the trip easier.”Mamma hummed and looked over to the Beaver Cleaver. “I think... not. There are some nasty fire-flinging creatures around. With the dungeon acting up, they might be agitated and come out and make a mess. A few might be running out in the wild already, and they’d see that nice ship of yours as one big target.”“Ah, I’d really rather not lose my ship,” I said.Momma nodded. “It’s not that long of a trek. A few hours at most? It depends on who and what we meet along the way. So rest up, and get ready. When I call you over I expect everyone to be ready to go.”I nodded. “We will be,” I said. “In the meantime, can we play with the little buns?”Momma laughed and rubbed me between the ears faster than I could duck away. “Go ahead. I’m sure they’ll love the attention.”Grinning, I looked to my friends and put on my best bunny eyes. “Do you want to play too?”“You are so immature,” Amaryllis said. “We should be preparing. We have no idea what we’re going up against.”I gestured to the side where about a dozen little buns were gathered. The tallest only made it to my chin, and that was because his ears were perked right up.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she said.Awen actually looked a little bit eager, which from her meant she was super excited, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the buns. A few of them shied away and hid behind the bigger little buns, but some stood brave and tough at the front.“Hello!” I said. “My name is Broccoli. This is my best friend Awen, my best friend Amaryllis, and my best friend Bastion.”Awen and Amaryllis waved. Bastion managed to look awkward without actually moving.“What is she?” one of the buns asked as he pointed to Amaryllis.“Where’s your ears?” Another asked Awen.“You have wings!” a tiny voice added before a minuscule bun hopped over to stand before Bastion.I grinned. “One question at a time, please. We only have a bit of time, and if everyone goes all at once, then we won’t be able to answer everything.”The buns, all save the little one staring up at Bastion with big soulful eyes, huddled up in a big bun bunch, ears bumping together as they whispered and came up with a plan. I knew they’d come up with something when the net of fluffy ears bounced up and down as they all nodded.One of the buns, a girl with mud on her cheeks and stained overalls came to stand before us. She was one of the taller ones, with knobby elbows covered in plasters and one of her ears was bent down the middle with a muddy bandage wrapped around it.She looked like a real tough rascal.I wanted to hug her.“What’s your name, sweetie?” I asked.The girl puffed up and looked up at me, jaw set and eyes brimming with determination. “I’m Sammie. The others el-elec... they voted me the one that’s gonna ask you questions and stuff.”“Well then, Sammie, ask away!”Sammie nodded, then pointed to all of my friends. “What’s up with all of them? They people from elsewhere like Momma talks about?”“Yup,” I said. “I’m from elsewhere too, you know, even farther than all of my friends here.”“Yeah? So where’re you from?”“Canada,” I said. “That’s a long ways away.”“That a village?” she asked.I nodded after a moment. “It means that, yeah.”The girl nodded right back and crossed her arms. “That’s alright. What about them?”I gestured to Awen. “Awen is a human from Mattergrove,” I said. “There’s a whole desert near there, and lots of people.”The girl tilted her head in time with the entire bunch of buns. “Are these three good folk? Cause Momma said some folk ain’t good and some are, but she never said how to tell easy.”“They’re very nice people,” I said. “This is Amaryllis, she’s a harpy from the Harpy Mountains.”“That’s a dumb name,” Sammie said.Amaryllis puffed up. “And you’re a dumb child.”The girl snorted. “That’s like if we called our village the bun village. It’s not imag— imagine... It ain’t creative.”Amaryllis glared and leaned forwards, so I grabbed her by the scruff of her jacket and pulled her back. “Just a kid,” I muttered low enough that only she could hear me.Sammie’s big ears twitched and she gave me a pout worthy of a cheek-pinching.“Ah, right,” I said, as if none of that had happened. “This is Bastion, he’s a sylph from the Sylphfree mountains, way up in the north.”“Alright,” Sammie said. “So what’re you four doin’ here, and can we play on your ship?”“We’re on an adventure,” I said. “And not right now, but maybe later? I’d have to ask Clive.... But maybe we could give you a tour?”My heart almost melted at the dozens of big hopeful eyes staring at me.“Ah, well... maybe we should make a big thing of it? Do you have any other little friends that would like to join?” I asked. There were a few nods. “Then go fetch them and come meet us at the Beaver!A few of the buns took off, hopping away with little skips like spooked rabbits. They were surprisingly fast.“You really gonna let us onto your boat?” Sammie asked.I nodded. “Sure. His name is the Beaver Cleaver, by the way. The friendliest ship on all of Dirt.”Awen tugged at my sleeve and I turned to look her way. “Awa, having the kids on board is okay, but we’ll have to be careful. Some things are dangerous.”“We ain’t dumb,” Sammie said. “Most of us have weapons and stuff at home. We know to listen when the old folk tell us not to touch something.”I nodded then leaned forwards a little to be at Sammie’s level. “I might need your help anyway. You and all the bigger little ones. Can you keep an eye on the smaller little ones? Make sure no one gets hurt? The Beaver is a nice ship, but he’s got some bits that can be a little dangerous.”Sammie nodded. “Sure thing,” she said. “So, you the captain?”“Yup! Captain Broccoli, at your service.”“You’re a bit weird, but you’re alright,” Sammie said.My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. “I’m gonna hug you, alright?”“Aww, dangit,” Sammie said a moment before I squished her to my chest. “I’m too old for hugs!”“That’s not true!” I said as I let go. “You’re younger than me, and I’m not too old for hugs yet.”Amaryllis snorted and I ignored her.I grabbed Sammie’s little dirt-stained hands. “Now come on, we don’t have all that long before we need to head out, so we ought to start sooner rather than later.”“Alright, alright,” Sammie said. She might have been grumpy, but her ears and widdle tail were twitching with excitement.I was going to show all the little buns of Hopsalot just how awesome me and my friends were!
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Walking Songs
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Walking Songs We had to usher the last bun off the Beaver Cleaver. It was really hard, because they really didn’t want to leave. The whole lot of them had only grown more and more excited as they bounced around the inside of the ship.I thought that maybe Clive wouldn’t like having so many little people on the ship, but somehow he gathered a bunch of the littler ones in a big pile before him and started telling these great stories about strange places and weird peoples that he’d met while travelling.I won’t say that I was envious of the kids listening to his stories, but I did kind of want to join them. They certainly seemed to enjoy it, every ear that could perked up and listening.“Alright,” I said as I helped the last little one down the ladder. We’d lowered the Beaver until his keel was just brushing the grass, just in case a bun went over the edge. It also meant that the ladder wasn’t as much of a climb. “That’s the last of them,” I cheered.Amaryllis had her feathers poking out every which way, and Awen looks just as bedraggled. Even Bastion looked a bit mussed up.“Wow,” I said. “You’re all really bad with kids.”“They kept pulling my feathers!” Amaryllis shrieked.A few of the little buns still nearby squeaked and bounced off.“They found them pretty,” I said. “Which they are.”“Don’t try to flatter your way out of this,” she said while brushing her talons through her feathers. “You’re too dumb to get away with it.”Her reply was met with laughter, but not from me. I turned to find Momma wading through a sea of little buns. There had to be forty or fifty that had come aboard the Beaver to bounce around our decks and ooh and ahh at everything while annoying the scallywags and the rest of the crew.“When I said you’d make an impression,” Momma said. “Even I didn’t think it would be this big. Thank you for giving the little ones a tour.”“My pleasure,” I said. “They were really well-behaved.”“That’s good to hear,” Momma said. She glanced over my friends, then back to me. “We’re about to leave. If you want to come with us, now’s the time.”I nodded. “I’d love to. We have all of our stuff ready. Uh, should we follow you?”“You can,” Momma said. “I still have to inform a few people that we’ll be gone for a spell. Do you want to meet by the north gate?”I bobbed my head up and down. “Sure thing!” I said. She rubbed my head, the same way she pat the little ones as she moved past them.I watched her move off, then skipped over to my backpack and spear, both left a little ways under the Beaver. Amaryllis picked up her own pack, and Awen put on her heavy coat and slung her crossbow over one shoulder and a satchel over the other. Bastion had the smallest pack. A small purse-sized thing strapped low on his back and out of the way of his wings.“I think this might be a lot of fun,” I said as I started heading north. I waved to all the little ones we crossed, and they waved and cheered us on.“I’m already exhausted,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad!” I said. “It’s an adventure.”“I’ve been on adventures with you.”“And you’re still alive and just as grumpy as when we first met,” I said.Amaryllis huffed most mightily.We found Momma where she said she’d be. With her were three other buns. The huge one we’d met when we arrived at Hospalot, though now instead of simple clothes and a big apron, he was in full plate armour, with a shield planted by his side that had to weigh as much as three Broccolis. He had a hammer sitting on the ground next to him, with a long haft and a head that looked a bit like the bottom of one of those two-liter soda bottles, but meaner.Next to him was a small bun woman in a thick bundle of cloth with a cascade of red hair pouring out of a leather cap. Her gambeson, all brown and padded, made her look like a marshmallow with two ears sticking out the top. She had a pair of big gauntlets on, and bigger boots with metal studs on them.And finally there was a small bun man, in a much thinner gambeson with knives strapped to his hips and a big black cloak over everything.Momma had changed out of her summer dress at some point, and now wore half-plate over her chest and a ringed skirt with chainmail here and there. She only had a knife by her side, and it looked more utilitarian than a weapon. Her helmet only hid half her face, and made her look like some sort of long-toothed monster with a big mane.“Are you all ready to set out?” she asked as she lifted a pack over her shoulder with a casual swing.I was starting to get what Bastion meant about her being on the stronger side.“Yup,” I said. “Is this everyone?”“It is,” Momma said.I bowed a bit to our new friends, then grinned at the lot of them until my cheeks hurt. “Hi, I’m Broccoli Bunch, I’ll be in your care today. I hope that I learn lots and that we become great friends.”Buster HopsyDesired Quality: Someone who looks up to himDream: To never see a friend be hurtThat was for the big guy in the plate armour.Carrot LopsyDesired Quality: Someone funDream: To fill Hopsalot with little bunsThat was the red-headed bun, who grinned right back at me.Peter FlopsyDesired Quality: Someone quiet and understandingDream: To retire peacefully, and away from all the noisy people he likesAnd that was the rogue-looking one. He seemed nice, but I had the impression it would be hard to make friends with him.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.Momma introduced everyone by name, and my friends did the same. And then, just like that, we were off.The area surrounding Hopsalot was pretty much cleared of any woods. A lot of open space, with little rocks jutting out of the ground here and there, and spaces that were covered in lush grass and little fenced-off patches where unfamiliar plants were growing in neat rows.We passed a couple of farmers with big floppy sun hats on our way to the woods. Momma waved at them, and they would wave back, or call out for us to have some good luck on our adventures.When we grew closer to the woods, Buster cleared his throat and started to hum a low, droning tune.“Off to the woods and off to playI went off to hike and find some funI danced in the sun and rain all dayOff to the woods and on, my sonI bounced with a bonny with bright blue eyesAnd I scuffed my knees on my own prideIn the morrow she came with a surpriseI found myself with both hands tiedOh, off to the mill and off to funBecause my blue-eyed bonny was fat with sons”Buster and Carrot and even Momma sang the last line together. Carrot, as it turned out, couldn’t carry a tune. At all. She was downright awful, but it was really encouraging because she was so enthusiastic about it. It didn’t help that the song had a strange tune to it.“That was great,” I said.Momma chuckled. “Do you know any walking songs?” she asked.I shook my head. “Nope, but I wouldn’t mind learning!”“The winter songs are nicer,” Peter said.“It’s not the right season for that,” Carrot chirped. “Not yet, at least.”“I wouldn’t mind hearing it anyway,” I said.Peter nodded, then started in a really pretty, lilting voice.“Walk, this path through the sleet and rainSnow, the sky sends for our headsGrit the will to bear all the strainDrive a-way the fear and dreadCold, the dark of the win-try nightBuns, the lead-ers char-ging boldWarm-ing hearts to set them a-lightPush-ing on and we for-e-ver hold”Without really even realizing it, I found myself stepping in time with the others, the clangs and bangs of Buster’s armour playing the drums to which Peter set his tune.When he repeated the whole thing over from the start, I found myself humming as the other buns joined in with their own voices.“Awa, I... I know a walking song,” Awen said. By then we were a good few minutes into the forest, the trees clawing up at the sky around us, and masking the sun in layers of shifting green leaves.“Really?” I asked. The only songs I knew were ear-worms, and I didn’t want to ruin this world by introducing “Barbie Girl” to it.Awen coughed a few times, then took a deep breath. Her cheeks were already a little rosey from the attention, but she seemed intent on singing anyway.Mattergrove girls ain't got no worriesWhen they see a boy they spread their kneesAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsSo crank away, me rough and tumble boysCrank away, crank awayHeave her up and don't let her make a noiseAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsMattergrove kids ain't got no clothesHow they stay warm, ain’t no one knowsAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsSo crank away, me rough and tumble boysCrank away, crank awayMattergrove birds ain't got no tailsThey chopped them off with a dragon’s scalesHeave her up and don't let her make a noiseAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsMattergrove girls ain't got no bottomsThey fill their skirts with packed up cottonAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsSo crank away, me rough and tumble boysCrank away, crank awayHeave her up and don't let her make a noiseAnd we're bound for the Snowlands!”I clapped when Awen finished, and she rewarded me with a huge grin. Carrot and Buster clapped too, the redhead while giggling quite maniacally. Awen’s singing voice, as it turned out, was very pretty. Clear and almost angelic. She must have practiced a whole lot.“Where on Dirt did you learn that song?” Amaryllis asked. She didn’t sound nearly as enthusiastic as I did.“Um. My uncle taught it to me,” Awen said. “He used to sing it all the time when working on the Shady Lady.” Her smile turned a little wistful. “He used to laugh a lot when I sang along. And he told me never to sing it with my mom around.”“Of course he did,” Amaryllis said. “That scoundrel.”“What’s wrong with the song?” Awen asked. “Did I sing it wrong? I think I remember all the lyrics right.”“I’m not doubting your memory,” Amaryllis said. “I’m doubting your common sense.”“Huh?” Awen asked.I was a bit lost too.“Nevermind,” Amaryllis said. “Here, listen to this one.” She took a deep breath, then started to chirp and whistle.I was expecting lyrics, but none came, just more whistles and the occasional squawk.Carrot was the first to let out a snort. Then I started to giggle too. Soon, Momma and Buster and Awen were laughing too, and Amaryllis cut herself off mid-whistle with a discordant toot.That made me laugh even harder.“That’s right, mock centuries of harpy culture, why don’t you?” Amaryllis grumbled.Our walk continued, filled with songs and laughter, and sometimes the occasional bit of whistling.This was what I had always envisioned when I thought of adventure, and I was glad to be part of it, even when the others told me that I was pants at carrying a tune.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Super Smash Bunnies Melee
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Super Smash Bunnies Melee With songs to give a spring to our step and ward away the boredom, our trip through the forest passed with surprising speed. Momma had brought sandwiches, proving that she really deserved her name. We ate those while walking a little slower, then continued on our path heading north-ish.A few hours passed, and while I was definitely feeling the burn in my legs, and I was glad that I wasn’t the one singing, I still felt pretty good when we finally arrived on the edges of the ruins.“Here,” Peter said as he bounced ahead, then knelt next to a stack of squarish stones. “This is the edge. Enemies from here on out.”“No more singing then,” I said.“No, that’s fine. They’re almost entirely deaf,” Peter said. “Have you all fought the undead before?”I nodded, but my friends couldn’t say the same. “Perhaps you could tell us a little bit about them,” Bastion said.Buster hummed. “Depends on which sort you’re fighting. The ghosts here are easy to dispatch. Hardly worth the effort. The wraiths are a little more dangerous.”“Those sorts can hear you,” Carrot said. “But not that well. They’re pretty weak. A kid could rekill them.”“Rekill?” I repeated.“Well, they’re already dead, aren’t they?”That was fair.“The skeletons are the ones to watch out for,” Peter said. “They’re surprisingly quiet, blend into the foliage, and can move fairly quickly. They tend to hover around levels ten to twelve.”I nodded. A tiny bit stronger than me and most of my friends. “Any weaknesses?” I asked. “I know that Cleaning magic does a number on them.”“Cleaning...?” Buster raised an eyebrow. “Holy magic will take them out instantly. Otherwise, they’re difficult to take out with pure magic. They don’t have flesh to burn, blood to freeze, or a heart to pierce. Blunt force works best.”I shifted my grip on my warspade, and Awen hung onto her hammer with both hands while Amaryllis released her knife and shifted a little.“Our formation will have us older buns circling around you. You all seem to have a ranged option. Use that if you’re certain your blow will land. But conserve your mana and ammunition,” Momma said.I nodded and soon we were moving deeper into the ruins. There were fewer trees as we pushed ahead. Large patches of the ground had slabs of cracked stone, and the land around us evened out a lot compared to the rolling hills we had been travelling.We spread out a little, no more than a meter between all of us, but instead of the single file we had been walking in, we now formed a wedge shape, with Buster in the centre, and Carrot and Momma to the sides. Peter slunk back and I spotted him jumping from tree-to-tree.“Ahead!” he called, with no attempt at stealth despite hiding. “Six skeletons visible. They look corrupted.”Momma nodded. “Buster, first. Expect more to show up.”We broke through a bushy hedge and came across a little group of skeletons squatting down and... not doing much, really.They looked kind of human, but I couldn’t be sure, not with the way some of them were deformed. One had a leg that was fused together at the knee, some had longer arms than normal, and one’s skull looked like someone had made a perfect skull out of clay, then squished it while it was still wet.The skeletons turned towards us, and between one moment and the next, launched themselves right at us.They were fast! Moving with jittery motions and the clatter of loose bones on the stone below. I gasped as Buster stepped up and met the first of them with a downward swing of his hammer. The weapon glowed red-hot a moment before impact, and when it hit I felt the heat wash over me from two meters back.The skeleton crumbled, but the other five were closer now and didn’t seem to care. One rammed into Buster’s shield while Carrot and Momma moved up to flank the rest of them.Amaryllis fired off a bolt of zig-zagging lightning that struck one of the skeletons in the back of the group and tore off one of its arms.Momma and Carrot both hit their opponents with twisting kicks that slammed right into their bony sterums and sent them whooshing back.Feeling a bit useless, I brought my arms up and started to prepare some fireballs. But Cleaning magic was good against the undead... I pulled my mana back, twisted it into Cleaning magic, and fired off five bolts of cleaning magic that zoomed out and crashed into the skeletons.All five collapsed like bags of bones.Momma paused and looked over to me. “Cleaning magic?” she asked.“It gets good at Expert rank,” I explained.Ding! Congratulations, you have fractured the souls of three (3) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Fortress’ Level 11! Bonus Exp was granted for exorcising a monster above your level!“Oh, I didn’t get the experience for two of them,” I said.Carrot spun so fast I only caught a blur as she bounced over to the skeletons, cracking their heads with five quick hops.Ding! Congratulations, you have cracked the bones of three (2) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Fortress’ Level 11! Bonus Exp was granted for exorcising a monster above your level! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cleaning at Expert,” Momma said. “Interesting. From now on, hit them with that as soon as you can. Keep an eye on your mana and call out at every quarter down. Amaryllis, Awen, your job is now to guard her. Bastion, watch our backs.”“Yes ma’am,” Bastion said.Peter landed ahead of us. “More of them,” he said. “More than last report, even. The dungeon’s entrance is hardly guarded though.”“Then we move towards it,” Momma said. “We can stop at a few choke points on the way and use them to keep the skeleton’s numbers down as we move.”Peter nodded. “I’ll go set some traps.” With that, he bounced so hard and fast that he left a small crater on the ground where he’d taken off from.“These skeletons are little more than chaff,” Momma said. “But it sometimes only takes one wrong move to get injured enough to compromise a team. So we’re going to do things by the book, alright?”If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.I nodded. Momma was kind of scary when she was being serious.We moved on, keeping our formation tight while looking all around. For a moment, I thought that there might not be any more skeletons after all. Then a bush exploded and I was proven quite wrong.Before I had even finished flinching, Momma intercepted the skeleton with a knee, then she punched it with a glowing fist so hard that its skull burst apart into so much dust and shrapnel.“Whoa,” I said.“Pugilism is a fine art,” Momma said as she shook out her fist. “You can never be disarmed if your arms are your weapons.”“So cool,” I said.Carrot snorted. Her ears twisted this way and that to scan our surroundings, but she did turn back to stare my way. “You’ve got some Mystic Bun stuff too, right?”I nodded. “Yep. Way of the Mystic Bun. Is that what you have?” I asked.Carrot grinned. “Something like that. Just keep training, I’m sure you’ll be real scary in a few years.”“I’m not sure if scary is what I’m aiming for,” I said.“Children, pay attention,” Momma said.We pushed through a spot covered in greenery, then broke out onto what looked like a street. Ruined buildings lined the sides, none with any roofs, but there were stone walls still standing, some with cutouts where doors and windows would have been.“The dungeon is at the end of this row, then to the right,” Buster said. He gestured ahead with the haft of his hammer, then he tensed. “More.”Everyone stopped as the skittering of bones started to sound out from all around us. I felt a chill go down my spine, then found that every breath I took felt cold, and not the fresh sort of cold that made you feel alive.Carrot smacked her fists together and her gauntlet-covered fists started to glow. “Wights.”“Huh?” I asked.Ghostly hands started to push through the walls of the nearest buildings just as an entire army of skeletons started to crawl up the ruins and even more charged down the lane. It would have been frankly terrifying if it wasn’t noon and the sun wasn’t bright and shiny overhead.I raised an arm and fired off a burst of cleaning magic at the group charging us. It hit a few of them, but only two fell down while the rest merely lost a limb or two. “Uh oh,” I said.I either needed to hit them dead-on, or I wasn’t using enough magic to get the job done.Amaryllis started to unleash her magic into the bigger groups, the explosions tearing some of the skeletons apart and when they hit the occasional ghost they would practically melt in mid-air.Awen joined in too, firing bolt after bolt into the skeletons atop the walls. Her aim was surprisingly good.Still, for all the damage we were doing, there were way too many skeletons. Momma and Carrot hopped forwards and struck almost at the same time.If I thought that Amaryllis was loud, then the two proved that she wasn’t on the same level. Each punch, charged with writhing magic, impacted the skeletons like sledgehammers and sent shockwaves through the air.Even better yet, both women were really fast. They wove and ducked between the monsters, avoiding swipes and delivering devastating kicks in return.They fought in a way that I found really familiar. Landing, hitting once or twice, then jumping away before the skeletons and wights could react. But I could tell right away that both of them were a whole league ahead of my own fumbling style. Their hits were fast and hard, and they moved with a sort of bouncy grace that I couldn’t hope to match.I refocused and opened fire with more cleaning blasts. If one or two skimmed past a friend, then that wasn’t too bad. One of the big advantages of cleaning magic in this scenario.Mana97/130“Down to, uh, seventy-five percent,” I said.“Keep it up,” Momma said. She ran up the front of a skeleton, kicked its head off, then flipped in the air and landed in a low stance that turned into a lunge to punch another skeleton in the side. She didn’t even sound winded.I took a deep breath and doubled down on the cleaning magic, more bolts joining Amaryllis’ wild bursts of lightning and Awen’s far more precise strikes. Any skeleton that slipped past Carrot and Momma was beaten down by Buster or skewered by Bastion.The flood of skeletons dropped to a trickle, then stopped outright, leaving us panting in the middle of the road. My friends and I were panting, the buns seemed totally fine, and Bastion was barely breathing hard.Ding! Congratulations, twelve (12) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Fortress’ Level 11! And four (4) ‘Spirits of Forgotten Pain’ Level 13! Picked a bone with the wrong buns! Bonus Exp was granted for exorcising a monster above your level! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!Still no level up?Momma picked a piece of bone from the plates of her gauntlet. “Is everyone alright?” she asked.I looked at my friends, who all looked fine. “I think so,” I said.Peter reappeared atop one of the stone walls. “There are a few more groups, but they’re further out. It should be clear from here to the dungeon’s entrance.”“Well then,” Momma said. “Let’s get going. It would be nice to be out before the sun sets.”I felt a bit out of place amongst the easy nonchalance of the buns at all the violence. Sure, the skeletons were dungeon monsters, so they weren’t as real as real people, sorta, but it felt a little weird not to at least try and talk to them.Amaryllis patted my back, and I smiled at her as we continued on.Soon, we were at the entrance to the dungeon.It was a castle. Old and decrepit, with sections having fallen apart. There was evidence that it had been a real fortress at one time, but that must have been long ago.The entrance was a gaping maw, a tunnel that led on into darkness.You are Entering the Newbining FortressDungeon Level 10-14Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?
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Chapter One Hundred and Ninety — Deadweight
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety — Deadweight We huddled together a little as we walked down the dark tunnel leading into the dungeon. I had cleaning magic glowing in my hand, and Amaryllis cast a light spell that followed over her shoulder. Even the buns had some magic to light their path, and yet the darkness swallowed it all.“Imagine a nine-pointed star,” Peter said. He, like the other buns, didn’t seem bothered by the dark at all.“Oh, okay,” Awen said.“Right, this fortress, the ruins behind us, used to be shaped like a squarish star. Four points around a square,” he continued.“That’s just a square with more edge,” Amaryllis muttered.“This dungeon was originally the same. Four areas. Then five, six, and now nine.”The path ahead lightened up a little, and soon we were crossing under the tooth-like bars of a giant portcullis. We were in a city. An old medieval city, like Needleford, or Fort Sylphrot, only unlike those, there was no life here. The sky was a near-monotone grey, only deeper shadows hinting at the fact that there were clouds above.The buildings around us were in ruins, with broken windows and smashed walls. A few had signs of fire damage, and everywhere I looked, huge roots poked out of the ground and tore into the houses. They looked normal though, not terribly evil.I shivered as a soft, cold wind tickled the back of my neck.“First floor used to be nothing but ghosts. Low level ones at that,” Peter said. “Now the walls between this floor and the next have broken.” He looked around, wary. “There are more roots now.”“So, there’s no central path through this dungeon?” Amaryllis asked.Carrot was the one to answer. “Yup, there is. If you imagine this place looking like a wheel, with each floor being a spoke, then the middle is the safe zone. Every time you finish a floor, you can access the next floor through the wall, but there’s also a door to the middle that opens. So you can go there to leave the dungeon, or reach any other floor that you’d already cleared.” She snapped her fingers. “Clearing a floor means opening the gate to the next floor, not killing everything. Sometimes monsters that you didn’t kill earlier will move through the safe zone from a previous level.”I nodded. That meant we had to watch our backs. It was a good thing the buns were so strong and cool or else this place would be really dangerous.The chill in the air grew a lot worse, and even though the false sky above was a brilliant blue, and it felt warm on my skin, I still felt as though my skin was rippling with goosebumps.I saw Buster’s one ear twitch. “Left,” he said.I looked over to the left, then gulped.The first ghosts were those bleeding out of the walls, first a few, then dozens more. They moved through the air slowly and gently, so many white forms packed so close together that I might have mistaken them for a rolling wall of fog.“Insight,” I said as I looked to one of them.Spirit of Forgotten Pain, Level 8.Not too strong, but there had to be well over a hundred.“Hmph,” Buster said as he moved over and planted his shield into the ground with a dull thump. “Orders?” he asked.Momma tilted her head to the side, ears flopping a little. “Let’s move to the gate to the second floor,” she said. “Peter, take care of the ghosts.”“Yes ma’am,” Peter said.Buster huffed again as he lifted his shield. “Very well.”“We’re just leaving Peter here?” I asked.Momma nodded. “Don’t worry, he’ll get all of them. Ghosts like that are best attacked using wide-area abilities. We don’t want to be around in case we get caught in that.” She took off, heading towards the right and around an intersection in the middle of the road. I jogged after her along with my friends, but I couldn’t help but glance over my shoulder.Peter was stretching before the wall of ghosts, leaning one way until his little white bun tail wiggled, then all the way to the other side.Just as I was about to turn around to try and help, the bun disappeared.Two dozen ghosts warped as lines were cut into and through them.Peter reappeared some ways down the street, casually reeling in a long wire with a knife tied to the end.I decided that maybe he could handle himself, and ran to catch up to my buddies.“First wall,” Buster said.Out ahead of us was, in fact, a big wall. It was in rough shape, with roots breaking through the careful stonework and parts of it falling down. The top was a mess of spikes and blades, like a really deadly pincushion.“Carrot, what was the solution to this gate?” Momma asked.Carrot pointed to an archway set at the end of the street. “There’s a bell pull to the side. When you pull on it, it summons all the ghosts to the wall.”“Rather easy,” Momma said. “Well, let’s see what we can do.”There was a little gatehouse next to the archway, with a big wheel with spokes sticking out of it in its middle. We moved towards that, and past the portcullis leading to the next floor. I could see more of the city on the other side, with homes and, off to one side, what looked like a graveyard.There were skeletons ambling around there.“Will the monsters from that side be alerted?” Momma asked.“Yup,” Carrot said.“Then could you please take care of them? Buster, could you raise the gate enough for Carrot to pass? I’ll keep an eye on the children.”Buster grunted, set his shield against the wall, and ducked into the gatehouse. He gripped the wheel in both hands and began to turn it. The chains running out behind the wheel jangled as they tightened, then, with a rusty grunt, the portcullis started to rise.“You’re sending Carrot in alone?” I asked.Momma nodded. “That way I can watch over all of you.”“What if she gets hurt?” I asked.Carrot giggled and bounced a bit closer. She patted the top of my hat. “Thanks, capt’n, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.I was still concerned when she ducked down and rolled under the rising gate. I don’t know what I was expecting the energetic ginger bun to do, but it wasn’t seeing her bounce closer to the skeletons, then wave her arms at them. “Come on, skeleboys and skelegirls, Carrot’s got some pounding to do!”The skeletons weren’t all bony white monsters. Some had the distended limbs and malformed bones of the corrupt ones we’d seen on the surface. Even more were covered in vines clinging to their ribs and joints.They turned towards Carrot, and as if on an unseen signal, started racing towards the lone bun.“Oh no!” I gasped as the first one reached her.Carrot dipped under a wild swing, moved up before the skeleton. She stepped to the side, under another punch from the skeleton, then spun around with a hop and delivered a rabbit punch to the back of it’s head.The skull went flying in a straight line that ended with a loud crack with it smacking another skeleton in the face.Carrot cheered and stomped a foot down so hard that I could feel it from the other side of the gate. Bits of rock flew into the air where she struck them with spinning kicks and tight jabs. Those same rocks zipped through the air and crashed into the advancing army of skeleton warriors.Then Carrot decided to get serious.She bounced up off the ground, used one skeleton as a spring-board, then kicked another so hard that it sent it-and her-flying. That only helped her land a spinning kick into another skeleton.“She’s not even touching the ground,” Amaryllis muttered as she watched Carrot pinballing across the street, then the graveyard, skeletons exploding into dust and bone shrapnel behind her.Carrot flipped over, and did a superhero landing in the middle of a group of skeletons. The earth around her warped, huge spikes shooting out of the cracked pavement to stab into the undead around her.“She’s really strong,” I said.“She’s one of the buns that keeps Hopsalot safe,” Momma said. “That means that we need her strength in order to protect what’s important.”I was beginning to feel that maybe my friends and I were a little bit misplaced in a dungeon like this one.Carrot continued to clear the next floor, slowing down as the number of skeletons pouring out towards her fell to a trickle. Some were armed, with swords and shields and spread, but that didn't seem to slow her down at all.“We’re done.”I jumped and spun around to see Peter casually walking over. He was rubbing a rag over a long knife. “Well done,” Momma said. “Buster, the gate please?”Buster nodded, then grunted as he started to spin the wheel again. The portcullis rose, and soon we were moving past and into the dungeon’s second floor.“Any trouble?” Momma asked Peter.“Not really,” he said. “I chipped the edge of one of my favourite knives with a bad swing. I need to practice a bit more it seems.”“You’ll never be done practicing,” Momma said. “That’s how things work.”Peter hummed as he tucked his knife away and moved past up.“Awa, these buns are kind of scary,” Awen whispered next to me.I nodded. “I didn’t know buns could be scary. They look so fluffy.”“Aren’t you the very image of someone who doesn’t look terrifying, but is?” Amaryllis asked.I snorted. “What are you talking about? I’m not scary. I’m friendly.”My harpy friend rolled her eyes and moved on past us. Bastion waited by the gate for us to pass, then stayed right behind us as we moved into the second floor. “I don’t think I’ve ever crossed a dungeon this quickly before,” he said.“This is just the second floor,” I said. “Is it weird that it’s called a floor even though it’s all on the same level? The last dungeons we were in all had distinct sections, but this one feels kinda... same-y.”Amaryllis shrugged. “It’s not entirely unusual. This seems to be a very straightforward dungeon. Dangerous, but in a simple way.”Carrot hopped over to our group, then stretched her arms out wide. “That was fun!” she said. “Don’t often get to just stomp out a bunch of weak monsters like that.”“You’re very strong,” I said.“Aww, thanks capt’n,” she said. “I remember when I first came here. My tail was shaking as if it was caught in a storm. It’s kinda fun to return here after so long.”“Haven’t you escorted a few little ones here for training?” Momma asked.Carrot ran her hands through her hair and brushed her ears back. “Ah, yeah but that doesn’t count. Babysitting duty’s not the same.”“You bring the little buns here?” I asked.“Just those that are a bit older,” Momma said. “It’s good to make sure that every bun knows how to defend themselves, no matter what they want to do when they’re older. Some find a love for it, some come to appreciate the difficulty those keeping the forest safe have to face, and a rare few decide to become the next generation of defenders."“Isn’t that dangerous for the little ones though?”“Awa, I think... maybe not doing it is more dangerous?” Awen fiddled with the string of her crossbow. “I lived in a big safe city, we had people to protect us, but out here there’s none of that. Um, a monster could sneak into Hopsalot at any time?”“We wouldn’t let that happen,” Carrot said. “But... yeah, it could. You’re a clever little human, aren’t you?”“Awa?” Awen asked. “No, it’s just logical, I guess.”I tapped my chin. “Insmouth doesn’t approach it the same way, I don’t think.”“We are not Insmouth,” Momma said. “We’re just a little village of buns that wants to live in peace.”I nodded along. I couldn’t argue against that.“The next wall’s coming up,” Buster said. Out ahead of us, right up against the edge of the graveyard, was another wall like the last. This one in even worse shape, with large sections entirely missing and revealing the one huge building on the other side. “Get ready. The first boss is coming up.”
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Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-One — Please Be Quiet in the Library
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-One — Please Be Quiet in the Library I was feeling pretty useless.Not super-useless, but like... like watching someone doing something and wishing you could help, but then you learn that they’re way better at it than you. Like wanting to help someone with their homework, but they turn out to be the top of the class. That kind of useless.Carrot was bouncing around, smacking down any stray skeleton with whoops of joy, punctuated by rocky explosions whenever she hit the earth and used it as a weapon to destroy even more skeletons. When a few ghosts came around, I thought that was my chance to be useful, but then Carrot just blasted them with balls of glowing earth.If I had pockets, I would have shoved my hands in them.Fortunately, I was saved by an inquisitive Bastion. “Can you tell us about this boss?” he asked.“It’s not the main dungeon boss, obviously,” Peter said. “Not sure if you’d actually call it a boss under normal circumstances, but we’ve been calling it that for a while.”“So a challenge fight, then?” Amaryllis asked.Peter scratched his chin. “Something like that. The creature is called the Bone Lord. About level twelve? He’s this skeleton in a tweed jacket who summons more skeletons and undead. He’ll never fight you head on, which is what makes the fight tricky.”“Does he drop anything good?” Amaryllis asked. “Can you get a level from him?”“Sometimes he’ll drop a book, or a jacket. It’s nothing too special.”I nodded along. “So, what’s the strategy then?”“I run in, kill the miniboss, then we clean up the few monsters he had time to summon,” Peter said.My shoulders and ears slumped. “Oh,” I said.Momma noticed, and I know she noticed because she had a little smile. “How about we let the children take care of it?”Peter eyed her. “You sure?”“We’re there if it gets too dangerous, but they’re all at about the right level, and as young as they are, it’ll teach them a lot. If we need to rely on them later, this little bit of added strength might come in handy,” Momma said.Peter considered it, then nodded.“So, if we are going to take this Bone Lord on, what are good strategies?” Amaryllis asked.“Hardly fair to tell you if it’s meant to be some sort of test,” Peter said.“She never said it was a test,” was Amaryllis’ quick reply.Momma chuckled. “You’re right, I didn’t.” She cleared her throat. “Consider it a test.”Amaryllis didn’t look amused, so I rubbed her back a little to make her feel better. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. This way we get to keep all the fun loot too.” She huffed, but it wasn’t a disagreeing kind of huff.The door leading into the next floor was missing. In its place was a large root passing through a wooden gate and forcing it ajar. The more we moved in, the uglier the roots got, this one included. It was covered in nasty thorns and I had the impression that it was pulsing whenever I wasn’t looking right at it.“These things are a bigger blight than I had imagined,” Momma said as she approached the root. “Perhaps coming here so soon was for the best.”Amaryllis tugged on her goggles, the same ones she’d gotten in that glass dungeon a while ago. “They’re magical. Or if they’re not magical, then they’re filled with magic, which I suppose is merely a semantic difference.”“Interesting,” Momma said. “Let’s move on. Carrot, are you coming?”We crossed the doorway and into the next floor.I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. The first floor had been a city road, the second more city with a graveyard. Now we stood before a large building surrounded by an open courtyard where dying trees were being weighed down by climbing vines.The one building was big and imposing, with gargoyles at the corners and a grand, peaked roof. I thought it was a cathedral at first, but it lacked the belltower and the religious stuff.Then again, maybe it was a cathedral of a sort I wasn’t familiar with.“Watch the bones,” Buster said. He gestured to the ground where, upon a cursory inspection, I could make out bones sticking out from between patches of dying grass. The few bushes dotting the courtyard had piles tucked under them, the occasional skull watching us from the shadows.I expected it to stink, but instead the air smelled like very old compost and upturned dirt with a faint, musty odour, like rotting paper.“Where does the Bone Lord hide?” I asked.“Inside the building, of course,” Peter said.I could probably have guessed that. “We should get ready here, then, before we actually start fighting or anything.”“A plan wouldn’t be amiss,” Bastion said.I agreed. “Alright, so the plan is, I approach the nice Bone Lord, and try to make friends. And if that fails, we all fight him.”“Perhaps not having a plan could be a nice change of pace,” Bastion said.“You’ll learn to get used to it,” Amaryllis muttered. “How about we allow you to go to the front. Bastion, you’re fast and decent with that sword. You can intercept. Awen, your job is to snipe the Bone Lord when Broccoli inevitably fails to soothe it. After Broccoli, I’ve got the magic best suited for taking out large numbers of skeletons. I’ll try to buy you time to face the Bone Lord and take it down.”“Him. It’s a Bone Lord. Not a Bone.... uh, what’s the gender neutral for a lord or lady?”Amaryllis smacked me with a wing, which was very rude. I was just getting the undead lord’s pronouns right. “Stop being an idiot. A large part of this will rely on you. Your Cleaning magic is the closest we have to Holy. So you need to work hard to take the Bone Lord down, understood.”You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.“I’ll do my best,” I said.We formed up in a diamond. Bastion took the lead, with Awen behind me and Amaryllis to my left.Momma and the other buns cheered us on-well, Carrot did at any rate-as we stepped into the cathedral.The interior of the grand building was as Peter had said, a huge library with towering shelves to the sides and a great big opening in the middle with benches and desks. It would have been a majestic place where the books on the shelves were not moldy husks, if there weren’t roots sliding around the columns decorating the room, and if there weren’t dozens of corpses strewn all across the floor in big bony piles.“Oh, yuck,” I said as the smell hit. Mold and dust and rotting meat. I began to let my Cleaning magic out as an aura to keep the worst of it at bay. It helped a little. It also made my friends bunch up a little closer, though that might have been the poor lighting.There was some light, of course. The walls had big stained-glass windows on them, and the wide-open doors behind us let in light and wind. Better yet, the ceiling had some pretty rough looking holes in it that let columns of dusty light pour down from above.“There,” Amaryllis whispered as she pointed ahead.At the far end of the room, sitting at a rather ordinary desk, was a skeleton in a brown jacket with shoulder patches. He had a dried up husk of a book set before him, and his head was tilted down as if he’d passed away while in the act of reading.He looked... lonesome, and quiet.“Insight,” I muttered.The Herald of Newbining, Bone Lord, level 12, QuietWhat did ‘quiet’ mean?Swallowing, I slowed my pace down a little as I reached the middle of the room. There were more bones around, and the floor, once marble and inlaid with complex patterns, was cracked and broken, roots occasionally bulging out from beneath it.I gestured for my friends to stay back, then with a series of dainty little hops, moved closer still to the Bone Lord.When I was some meters away, I calmed my racing heart and cleared my throat. “Hello,” I said.The Bone Lord raised his head, slowly, like a heavy crypt door coming open. He turned, and I noticed that part of his face was missing as a tangle of greenish roots had taken hold of his visage.“My name is Broccoli,” I said. “Broccoli Bunch. I’ve been a friend to skeletons before, and I’d love to be friends with you too.”I waited, but Friendmaking didn’t do anything.“Do you want to be a friend?” I asked. Maybe I had to be a little more specific?Still nothing.The undead rose to his feet, roots, thin and still green, snapped behind him as creaky bones worked to bring him to his full, unimpressive height. “Um, can you understand me?” I asked. “Amaryllis, I don’t think he understood me.”“I did,” she said.I put two and two together and came to a number that was expected but not wanted. “Oh, shoot.” If Amaryllis could understand, then I wasn’t speaking skeleton.The Bone Lord spun around and started to hobble away. He would have been faster, but a bunch of roots were tangled through his hip and legs, turning his run into an ungainly hop.“Wait!” I called as I rushed after him.The skeleton swiped a hand through the air, and I stopped, breaking so hard my shoes squeaked on the marble. I was expecting some magical attack, and had my Cleaning magic ready to try and counter it, but nothing happened. Nothing obvious, at least.“Awa!” Awen awa’d loudly.A glance back revealed that the skeletons around her were beginning to rise, clicking and clacking as they stood up and came together from the bones strewn around. There were only a dozen of them, but there were enough bones on the ground to have ten times as many attacking us.“Broccoli, focus on the boss!” Amaryllis called. She punctuated that with the zap-bang of a lightning spell that tore a skeleton asunder.“Right!” I said before bolting after the Bone Lord.The skeleton gestured ahead of him, and three of the bodies before us rose and jumped out towards me.I ducked next to the first and smacked it with my spade, the next two I hit with a pair of cleaning balls that sent them stumbling back. Only one of them collapsed, the other, while clean, wasn’t taken out entirely.That wasn’t a good sign.A smack from my spade in passing sent its head flying across the room. Behind me, the skeletons I’d hit started to melt away.The Bone Lord bounced around a corner, and I charged right after him.I squeaked when a small skeleton ambushed me the moment I came around the corner. It was wearing a checkered dress, and it clamped right onto my legs like a limpet. I blasted it with enough cleaning magic to wash away the dust on the shelf behind it, then wiggled my leg to untangle it.The Bone Lord was getting away.I growled and flung a trio of cleaning balls after him. He ducked under the first two, but the third splashed against his back and sent him careening into a shelf. That wasn’t enough to take the mini-boss out. He continued running, off into a little room set to the back of the library.I charged after him, then discovered that the room only had a spiral staircase within. Bouncing up the steps, I could hear the clatter of bony feet on stone just ahead of me. I was catching up.The stairs ended, and I found myself on a long wooden walkway that ran around the edge of the main room of the library. There were more shelves here, and a glance to the side showed my friends forming a triangle and smacking down more and more skeletons with magic, hammer and sword.The Bone Lord was facing me, and next to him was an abomination.I tightened my grip on my warspade and got ready to fight.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Two — Maid it Out Alive
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Two — Maid it Out Alive Maid-Butler Abomination, level 10, Angry I licked my lips, looking past the maid-thing toward the Bone Lord. He was hobbling away, making his way over to the end of the balcony with repeated clunks of his bony feet.It seemed that, if I wanted to catch up to him, I’d need to face off against his guard first.The abomination was... an abomination. It was boney and skeletal, some of its features partially covered by a poofy black dress with torn white lace. Its arms ended in a pair of boney scythes, and its head was twisted to look a bit like a cat’s, with bony ears and all. Coiling vines clung to it from the inside and poked through its dress.It was quite spooky looking.“Hi there,” I said. “Would you mind terribly if I ran past you?”The abomination lunged at me, one scythe arm swinging.I barely had time to duck backwards and stumble out of the path of its swing, and that was only because its arm was tangled up in nasty looking vines. “Hey!” I shouted.The monster swung with its other arm, but this time I was expecting it and launched myself up and over the swing.While in the air, I brought my spade around and met another scythe mid-swing with a heavy bonk of metal on bone.My attempt to jump away was foiled as the abomination continued to move towards me, cutting off my escape.I saw it raising its arms to slice down at me, and brought my spade up as a horizontal bar to meet the bony spikes. They smacked the haft, and soon I found myself being pushed down onto one knee while I grunted and tried to keep the mantis monster from bearing down on me.I was in a bit of a bind, but I did have one way out.Shifting so that most of my weight was on my one knee, I kicked out with my foot and smacked the Abomination in the shin while launching a burst of Cleaning magic at it.The leg creaked at the first kick, then snapped with the second.The monster tipped over, and I helped it along by rising up and shoving it to the side. The moment it crashed down, I made a fist and wrapped it in Cleaning magic to smack it with.The monster reeled, legs scrambling as it tried to stand.A second burst of Cleaning magic, then a third, finally knocked it down completely.“I’m sorry!” I apologized as I swung my spade up and then brought it back down to bonk the monster on the head.It died a very unceremonious re-death.I shoved the notification to the side, then started running after the Bone Lord.A glance below, and I saw my friends still fighting on. Bastion was taking out most of them all on his own, but I noticed him letting some of the skeletons pass towards where Amaryllis and Awen were working together to smack them down.Was he letting them practice their teamwork on purpose?They... probably needed the help. Amaryllis had a tendency to expect others to move in the way that she thought was best, and Awen froze up often, especially when someone else was in her bubble. She was more concerned with not hurting a friend than making sure the monsters trying to eat her were no longer a threat.Bastion really was a good friend, I decided. I would give him hugs and thank him, but that was for later.Speeding along with little hops to help me move faster, I tried to catch up with the Bone Lord.The skeleton was at the end of the row. He had paused before a shelf of old books, and was looking over them with a hand tucked under his chin.“Hey!” I called out as I flung a ball of Cleaning magic out ahead of me. I still had enough magic that one or two missed strikes wouldn’t be too bad.The Bone Lord picked a book off the shelf, then smacked the Clean ball away with it.“Dang it,” I muttered as I started running again. I held my spade with both hands and brought it up to deliver a big swing. The Bone Lord moved fast. He opened the book, touched the page, then let it drop and pointed his hand towards me.As ten meters became five, then two, I was able to make out the words in the book. They were big and bold, taking up half of a page, or else I would have missed them.‘Greater Explosion.’I squeaked and threw myself to the side. I intended to roll, then get back up and smack the Bone Lord.The explosion behind me ruined that plan.I grunted as I was sent flying across the walkway. My tail bumped the ground and I rolled to bleed off some momentum. Bits of burning books and wooden shrapnel landed around me. I blinked and tried to hear anything past the high-pitched whistling of... something.The Bone Lord had been flung back a bit too, but he was pushing himself out of the pile of debris he’d landed in.Being undead probably meant that he didn’t have to worry about bruises as much.My foot found some purchase, and I climbed to my feet. My spade was... somewhere, I’d lost it in the tumble. That didn’t matter.I ran at the Bone Lord, and he looked up, expressionless face twitching back as I cut the distance between us to nothing and slapped my hand over his skull. “Sorry!” I screamed my home nation’s battle cry as I let loose a surge of Cleaning magic.The air around us stilled as the dust was washed away.I paused, panting hard, breathing in the faintly fiery scent of burning books. My hand loosened its grip a little and the Bone Lord’s skull fell, soon followed by the rest of the body.The bones started to break apart into so much dust, just like dungeon creatures usually did. The jacket stayed though. A drop?Ding! Congratulations, you have Laid to Rest three (3) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Library’ Level 10! A Skeletal Limpet, Level 9! A Maid-Butler Abomination, level 10. And The Herald of Newbining, Bone Lord, level 12! Bonus Exp was gained for defeating enemies above your level!“Pheew,” I said as I tipped my turtle hat back and wiped a hand across my forehead. That had been exciting.Moving over to the side of the balcony, I found my friends looking around themselves while a whole lot of skeletons turned to dust around them.I tucked my loot under an arm, then found my Warspade. I was just about to jump down when I got another message.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 11!Stamina +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Oh, ni-”Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 3!Mana +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Double nice!” I cheered. “Hey! I levelled up!” I called down. “And we got loot!”Amaryllis looked up, then shook her head. “You moron. Get down here. It’s too soon for celebrating,” she said. But she sounded pretty happy.“Oh wow, you levelled up too?”The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“I didn’t say that!” she said.“Congratulations!” I said as I hopped down and landed with a crouch one floor down. I shook myself a bit, then grinned at my friends. “What about you, Awen? Bastion?”The sylph shook his head. “Nothing for me, I’m afraid,” he said. That was too bad, he seemed to have taken out the most monsters.“Awa, I went up a level,” Awen said. “You too?”“I got two!” I cheered.Amaryllis huffed. It was a strange huff, part ‘I’m happy for you’ and part ‘I’m a bit envious.’ I pulled her into a hug to remind her that I liked her a lot and that she didn’t need to be envious. “Why are you hugging me, idiot!”“‘Cause I love you lots,” I said. Then I hugged Awen and Bastion for good measure. “So, why’d I get more levels?” I asked.“Ah,” Awen said. “I didn’t use Glass magic. And I don’t think Amaryllis used any Puppeteering skills.”“And you’ve been using that weird second class of yours a lot. It’s natural,” Amaryllis said.I nodded along. That made sense. “In that case, we’ll need to practice even harder!” I eyed Amaryllis. “Or at all.”“You make it sound like I don’t practice,” Amaryllis said.“I didn’t say anything like that,” I replied evenly.She whapped me with a wing.“Well done, children!”I had almost forgotten that Momma and the other buns were there. The team of bun adventurers stepped into the library and looked about. “That was a good show!” Carrot said. “Like looking over the little ones, but with a few skills you don’t see so often.”“We did good?” I asked.Carrot gave me a big thumbs-up, but Momma was a bit more serious about things. “You did well enough. I’m worried that you may have a hard time keeping up on the later floors. This dungeon focuses mostly on swarming tactics, which means that the general level of the enemies found within are lower than you’d expect. Still, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, or even run out of stamina or mana mid-battle.”I nodded. That was true.“We should move on,” Peter said. “Did you find the Bone Lord’s key?”“Key?” I asked. I looked to my friends, but they seemed just as lost as I was. “All we got was this jacket.” I raised the tweed jacket up. It was the cool sort, with some patches over the elbows and big pockets on the side.“Let me see that,” Amaryllis said. I let her take it, and watched as she shifted it this way and that. She fished out a key from the breast pocket. “Ah,” she said.Peter gestured, and Amaryllis tossed the key over where he snatched it from the air. “We can move to the next floor,” he said.“This jacket’s interesting,” Amaryllis said as we started to walk out of the library. “It gives you a skill called Reading Comprehension. It’s of decent quality too.”“I don’t think it’s my style,” I said.Amaryllis shrugged. “Do any of you want it?” she asked.“It’s a common drop. We cut them up and use the material to make suspenders for the little ones,” Carrot said. “It’s pretty durable.”I let them haggle over the value of the jacket. I had more interesting things to look at as I followed our bun friends to the next floor.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
11
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
3
Age
16
Health
135
Stamina
150
Mana
135
Resilience
45
Flexibility
70
Magic
35
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 68%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 57%
Gardening
D — 24%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 94%
Mad Millinery
E — 90%
General Skills
Insight
C — 94%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
F — 78%
Friendmaking
C — 69%
Matchmaking
E — 87%
Cinnamon Bun Skill Points
5
Wonderlander Skill Points
2
General Skill Points
4
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
5
I had so many things close to going up in level!Just a couple more fights, or maybe a few more hours of practicing really hard, and I’d be all ready to move on with quite a few of my skills. Cleaning was the most exciting of that lot, but there were others too.I grinned, then realized there was no reason not to skip ahead, even when Amaryllis gave me a look.Onwards, to more adventure, and more fun!
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Three — Clean the Walking Dead
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Three — Clean the Walking Dead We were making really good time.The Newbining dungeon was, without a doubt, the biggest I’d ever been in. Each floor had basically a small town’s worth of stuff in it. With little buildings and shops and homes. Sure, they were dilapidated and rotting away, but they were still there to explore.If it wasn’t for all the undead walking and floating around it might have been a blast just to wander around and discover things.As it was though, we were not really there to see the sights.The third floor ended at a wall with a smaller gate in it, one that easily accepted the key I’d given to Peter.“When little buns come here, do they complete the whole dungeon?” I asked.“Oh no,” Carrot said. “We usually send them in small groups, and let them play around on each floor while someone older supervises. Most of the really little ones never make it to the third floor at all. That’s more for those that are almost teens.”“So like, when they’re Tessie’s age?” I asked.Carrot nodded. “You know Tesla?”“She introduced herself,” I said. “She’s nice.”“Yeah, good kid. Hard-headed. She’ll grow up to be a good bun. She’s about the right age to be tackling the third floor, I think.”Was little Tessie at the same level as me? I really had to start inspecting people more, but I still hadn’t gotten into the habit. It wasn’t one I had on Earth, and it felt a little weird to use. Still, I had to make more of an effort. “That feels very young to be training so hard,” I said.“You can’t be more than four or five years older, tops,” Carrot said.“That’s a lot of years.”She laughed and shook her head. “Making me feel old now,” she said. “I’m not even thirty yet, I shouldn’t feel old. Momma, is this what it’s like for you all the time?”Momma looked very unimpressed.“You’re not that old,” I told Carrot. “And Momma has aged very gracefully. She’s still here fighting with us, right. And she mentioned having grand-buns!”Momma nodded. “Thank you, Broccoli. Carrot, perhaps you could learn from our new friends about addressing your elders?”“Meh, you’ve got enough silver-eared foxes complimenting you wherever you go,” Carrot said.Was silver-eared fox an analogy for an older bun man? That sounded about right. I couldn’t help but smile a little at the exchange. The buns seemed to get along really well, even when bantering a little.“Maybe I should reconsider baby-sitting your little ones so much since I’m so busy with those silver-eared foxes,” Momma said.“Wait, you have children?” Amaryllis asked Carrot.Carrot grinned and brought her hands up in a v-for-victory pose. “Two little brats!” she said quite proudly. “They’re still tiny fluff balls.”“Can we see them?” I asked.“Oh course!” Carrot cheered. She seemed very proud of her little buns. I bet that she was a great mom.“Door’s open,” Buster said as he ducked under the passage into the next floor. He had to be careful not to wedge his shield in the doorway. Peter slid past him and soon the rest of us were following.The fourth floor was yet another section of town jammed in between four walls. The big change here was that the buildings were just a bit more dilapidated, and there wasn’t a skeleton in sight.“Keep quiet,” Peter said as he started checking all his knives. “Keep your ears perked. This floor has zombies.”“You actually call them zombies?” I asked.He shot me a glare and I mimed zipping my mouth. “That’s what the world calls them. I didn’t come up with it. Their bite is fetid and can turn a healthy bun into a sickly one in a matter of hours if not treated.”“You don’t turn into a zombie if they bite you?” I whispered.“Only if you die,” Momma said. “We’ll try to avoid that, shall we?”I nodded, and I saw Awen doing the same.“They’re made of flesh,” Peter said. “And they are not all that strong. Past the tenth level though, so expect seven to eight skills from them.”“Do you know what those are?” Amaryllis asked. She was pulling out loops of thin wire from a new pouch inside her coat.“Not all of them,” Peter said. “They have poor senses, but can relay information to each other without speaking. Their bite is as I mentioned. Cutting off limbs will not incapacitate them. They might have some sort of light fear effect too, but it’s ignorable.”“Don’t forget the stealthy ones,” Buster muttered. His voice was too deep to be called a whisper.Peter gestured to Buster. “He’s right, some of them are hard to spot. Just stay close together, and try not to make a mess of things.”Peter took the lead, with Carrot to one side, Momma on the other, and Buster right behind Peter. A wedge formation to keep us safe. I didn’t like being so much weaker than all of them, but there I was.The town had a lot of once-pretty homes, with crushed roofs and battle-scarred fronts. Paint was peeling off everything, and the roads, once obviously cobbled quite carefully, were now cracked and franky dangerous paths, sometimes covered in thin films of lingering fog.None of the streets stayed straight for very long, and if it wasn’t for the occasional glances of the walls in the distance, I would have gotten quite lost.Awen tugged my arm, and pointed off to our left, to what might have been a shop once. There was something painted on the front. I bit my lip and hesitated. Was it ‘painted’ if the material used to paint wasn’t paint? The text was jagged and broken, but still legible.“Dust to Dust,” I muttered as I read it.Something made a noise in the fog. Not a growl, but a screechy sort of rumbling noise, like a really big cat that had just had its tail stepped on. Peter raised a hand and we all paused. His ears flicked this way and that in quick succession, then the other buns nodded. It seemed to say that there was something to our left, and that he wanted to go around?If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.Did the buns have some sort of weird ear-code?That was so cool!We moved to the next intersection, and then stopped. Peter gestured down with his hand for us to stay, then darted ahead with little bunny hops that he somehow managed to make look cool and ninja-y.The bun peaked around the next corner, then flashed over to another before returning. He crouched near the middle of our group. “Both paths are blocked,” he said. “Vines and zombies. Faster path is to the left, then straight. I don’t think we’ll be able to fight without being hit from the back.”Momma nodded. “Split into two formations. Carrot, Peter and I at the front. Full offensive. Buster, stay behind with the younger ones, keep them safe.”Buster nodded.“You guys, leave us some room to fight, we’ll make sure nothing hits you from the front as long as you keep our backs cleared. We’ll move forward in leaps. Road to road. Understood?”We nodded.Our group moved over to the next intersection, all of us holding our breath a little and eyeing everything around us. Wisps of fog, like long seeking tendrils, searched the air around us and turned the fanciful scrollwork of the buildings around us into mysterious forms that seemed to twist and move whenever they weren’t focused on.I felt my heart pitter-pattering away with mounting excitement as we reached the intersection, then turned left and started down a street lined by homes with little gardens before them and hip-high stone fences. The flowers that might once have been there were long replaced by spiky weeds and those same choking roots that were crawling around everything.There were more of those noises, the strange almost-howls.The cause of those revealed themselves as the fog cleared a bit. Some two dozen people, in simple garb that looked fit for any proper villager, but shabbier, and covered in mud and gore and more.Their eyes were absent of any kind of intelligence, and their mouths all hung open to reveal teeth that had long passed the point of being rotten.Still, for all that they looked like they were in poor health, they didn’t fail to notice us. First one, then the next, started to growl and grumble. Arms raised up to reach out before them, and soon the entire band of zombies was moving towards us.Carrot smacked her fists together, then launched herself forwards to the first of the dungeon monsters. Its head exploded in a gorey mess, and when the stench hit me, I almost lost my tea.“Behind,” Amaryllis said.I turned around and faced the street we’d just come from. Momma and Peter joined the melee, leaving me and my friends, as well as Buster, all alone to stare down a street empty of zombies.Buster grunted. “They’re coming,” he said. He unhooked his hammer from his belt and set it against his shoulder before taking a wide stance, his shield out before him and legs bent just a little.I evened out my spade like a spear, and saw my friends readying themselves too.We didn’t have long to wait.The zombies coming at us weren’t quite running, but it was a near thing. They hobbled and bounced and grumbled with every step. Some of them had bits missing, and I caught a whiff of pus and other yucky stuff before I pushed my Cleaning aura out and washed the stink away.Something told me that Cleaning wouldn’t work quite as well on these. But that was a hunch, so I tested it by flinging a ball of Cleaning magic into the first zombie in the bunch.The magic smacked it in the chest, washing away the grime in its shirt and making it stumble back into its friends. It seemed weaker, a little less coordinated, but still very much unalive.“Darn,” I said.Buster raised his hammer high, then brought it down with a thump that made the cobbles shift underfoot. Cracks ran out ahead of him, and with a violent rip, stone spikes as tall as I was-ears and all-tore out of the earth and formed a barrier like crooked teeth.“There,” he said.The first zombies impaled themselves on the barrier, but those behind were able to squeeze around or climb over it. Not a wall then, but an obstacle to slow them down to a trickle.Awen’s crossbow thumped and a zombie gained a bristly bolt in the head before going down. Amaryllis, who didn’t seem keen on using her rather loud magic, lashed out with a loop of wire and caught one zombie by the wrist. Another loop around its opposite arm and, with her wires glowing a little, she was able to stop the zombie from going forwards.The next two loops were tossed on the ground and wrapped around its ankles, but only with some difficulty, and she had to try again a few times. Still, once she succeeded, the air hummed and sparks of electricity raced through the lines and into the zombie. It spun, and under Amaryllis’ command, attacked the next one to squeeze past the wall.“So cool!” I said.“Pay attention, idiot!” Amaryllis said.“Oh, right,” I said. Bastion and Buster were making short work of those jumping off the wall, with Awen’s occasional shot nailing one to the barrier. She even seemed to be using a tiny bit of glass magic to keep them away.I couldn’t just stand back and gawk! I had to do my part.Running over to the wall, I raised my spade and smacked the first monster to poke its head out.I was really, really thankful for Cleaning magic when things started to get splattery.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Four — The Dead on Their Feet
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Four — The Dead on Their Feet My arms burned, but I raised my spade anyway and chopped the zombie, then, when that failed to make it turn into so much dust, I raised the tool again and brought it down once more. The shiver that ran through the haft on contact made my hands tremble, and when the zombie finally fell to the side and started to disappear, I couldn’t find the energy to lift my spade again.A hand on my shoulder pulled me back, and I followed without resisting.“Take a breather,” Bastion said.I looked up, blew a wilting, sweat-drenched ear out of my line of sight, then nodded. “Okay,” I said.I didn’t want to stop. I couldn’t. I had to help my friends.My legs were achey, and my arms were beyond sore. It reminded me a bit of some days after gym class, but a whole lot worse.My mana was basically depleted already, and my stamina was in the single digits. The zombies... didn’t seem to care much.I stumbled back just a bit more and looked around, trying to take everything in, lest one of the monsters snuck around my friends and came at me.Buster’s wall had fallen some time ago, so we had backed up, and the huge bun had erected a second that formed with a bit of a curve to it. We were behind that one now. It didn’t do much to stop the leaping zombies, but it was good against all the rest.I saw one of those leaping zombies scurrying across a roof, and almost called out when a bolt smacked it in the chest and sent it tumbling down to the street below and onto the swarm of similar monsters.“Hold!” Momma called. “Nearly done!”That was good news.I imagined that if the monsters didn’t fade away, there would be a pile of them so tall that it would be reaching way above the walls Buster had made.My friends looked haggard. Awen was reloading her crossbow, one bolt at a time now. She’d run out of her prepared strips of bolts a while ago, and had resorted to reusing the few bolts that she could pick off the ground and that weren’t busted. I’d seen her switch to using her hammer, and even flinging shards of glass around, but those seemed to tire her out a lot.Amaryllis was doing a little better. At some point we’d stopped caring about noise, and she started to let loose with barrages of stormy magic. I don’t think she needed to cackle so much while raining down thunder and lightning onto the hordes of enemies before us, but it did keep her in a good mood.Her puppetry was... still a little rough. She couldn’t use the zombies she turned into puppets and attack with her magic at the same time. So she resorted to holding one or two zombies in place while casting from behind them, then moved in to attack with her puppets. It seemed to be working out, but I suspected she’d been running on mana fumes for a while.The zombies were easy to dispatch. I saw Bastion deftly flick the heads of a couple of them with almost lazy strokes of his sword. The problem wasn’t that, it was the number of them.“Front cleared!” Momma shouted.I saw an orange blur move by me, and suddenly the wall had a new hole as Carrot blew through it and started to plow through the zombies on the other side with wild abandon and the occasional happy whoop.Peter appeared in the middle of the zombies without so much as a whisper. I never even saw him move. Then a knife flew around him, slashing through the air at odd angles while trailed by a whipping metallic cord. Where the cord passed, zombies were torn apart.I placed the head of my spade down, and leaned onto it, panting. It was pretty much over, as far as I could tell. The number of monsters coming out of the fog was decreasing, and with the buns there, we didn’t have to fight as hard.“You seem to have done well enough,” Momma said as she moved over. “Buster, keep an eye on the front, would you?”“Mmm,” Buster agreed. He turned around and stomped behind me, towards the front where the three buns had been fighting before.“I think I need a nap,” I said.Momma chuckled. “This floor is a bit of a challenge. But it’s a good lesson to learn. No matter how strong you are individually, you are always fighting with a limited pool of resources. Eventually, you can be whittled down.”“That doesn’t seem to apply to Carrot and Peter and you,” I said.“That’s another lesson,” she said as she pulled my ears up, and started to rub them. I closed my eyes and relaxed.“Oh?” I asked.“No matter how many opponents are sent against some people, they can persevere and push through.”I stood a little taller. “That sounds a bit contrary to what you were saying earlier,” I said.“Hmm, maybe. But in a battle, you sometimes need to assume contrary things. That you can defeat your opponent, and that your opponent is stronger than you.”“That doesn’t seem like a fun way to think,” I said.Momma rubbed my head between my ears. “You might just be a little too peaceful.”“I don’t think there’s such a thing,” I said.“And yet you fought today, still. I think you hold your own contrary thoughts.”I pouted at her, but Momma was wise and older and the pout bounced right off with no effect.“Look at your stats and gains. I’m sure you’ve gotten a few little rewards from this floor.”I nodded. “Is the next floor as hard?”She hummed. “No, not as I recall. This one is uniquely hard. The next challenges are not easier, but they are different. Let me go see with the others, we should be moving on soon.”I watched her go, then picked myself up a bit and dragged myself over to my friends. Awen had found a low wall to sit on, and was leaning against the arch of a doorway. Amaryllis was laying spread-eagle on the dying grass next to her, panting and staring into the grey sky with tangled coils of wire around her.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“Hey,” I said.“I levelled,” Amaryllis said.“Oh?” I asked. “Good work.” I tried for enthusiasm, but only managed to land somewhere around moderate happiness.I slumped against the base of the wall, one of Awen’s legs rocking next to me, and my own legs atop Amaryllis’. She didn’t even complain, that’s how burnt out she was.Mister Menu had a bunch of things to tell me, and who was I to stop him when he was so excited? “Alright,” I said.Ding! Congratulations, you have dug the graves of twenty-seven (27) ‘Zombies of Newbining’s Ruin, level 10! And Four (4) ‘Zombie Leapers of Newbining,’ level 11! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!That was it? It had felt like a lot more than that at the time.I hadn’t levelled up, but it felt as if I was pretty close. At this rate, we’d all be a lot stronger on leaving the dungeon. Just how strong were the buns if they came here to practice often?Mister Menu had more news for me.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Mad Millinery skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!“Yes!” I cheered. Not very hard, but it was the thought that counted. It must have come from taking a few small blows while wearing my turtle hat. Mad Millinery wasn’t levelling very quickly, and I had the impression I was going about it wrong with that skill.New Skill Acquired: TurtlingRank: EThat was perfectly predictable, but it was nice to see.I expected Mister Menu to have more for me, but that was it. A glance at my skill sheet showed a few things nearling level-up, but none of them were at the next rank yet. “That’s disappointing,” I said.Health: 135/140Mana: 12/150Stamina: 14/130I needed an hour or two to rest if I wanted everything to be topped up. More if I wanted to clean myself off at the same time, and judging by how sweaty I was, I definitely needed that.“Alright, come on up lazy butts,” Carrot said as she bounced over. “No resting on your tails all day. We’re not even halfway through this dungeon.”I made some weird grumbly noise of protest, but Carrot was right, so I rolled over and got to my feet before helping Amaryllis up to hers. She started picking up her equipment from the ground, though it wasn’t a very energetic picking-up.“I think we need a bit of time to regain some mana and stamina,” I said.“Well, it’ll take a minute or two to get to the next gate, and then another couple to slot all the keys in.” Carrot raised a hand which held a bunch of rusty keys. “The zombies drop these.”“Oh,” I said. Was that this floor’s puzzle? So, there was no getting around all the monsters then. That was harsh.Awen slumped off the wall with a feeble, almost sad, “awa.” She leaned onto my side for comfort and because standing up seemed beyond her at the moment. “I need to pick up my bolts,” she said.We gathered up a few things. Bastion, who wasn’t nearly as tired as us, made sure we had all drunk a bit of water, then we set off.Momma seemed to get that we were on the tired side, because she had Peter get rid of any monsters in our path long before we got to see them.And so, finally, we reached the wall. There was a door in it with a long, long bar across it held in place by dozens of padlocks. Carrot got to be the one to unlock those and flick them away when she was done. The keys always broke after opening a single lock.“We will clear out a little spot on the other side,” Momma said. “And we’ll have ourselves a little something to eat. It should help fortify the lot of you littler ones.”“Thank you, ma’am,” Bastion said, because he was polite and not as tired as the rest of us.“Done!” Carrot called when she undid the last of the locks. Buster moved up and yanked the bar aside, freeing the doorway into the next floor and letting us past.I was expecting more city, more homes and buildings in poor repair, but instead I was greeted by a forest.Ancient trees rose up above, most of them growing atop bumpy hills covered in bushes and brambles. I could just barely make out the far wall across the woods, but only just.The fog from before was back, and far thicker, slithering across the ground and between the hillocks like a writhing, ghostly snake.“Wights here,” Carrot said.“What’s a wight?” I asked.Peter was the one to answer. For all that he was a quiet sort of bun, he seemed to like telling us about the monsters we’d be facing. “Wights are undead, as you may have guessed. They look like men, though they are thin and ragged, with glowing eyes. They have magic, casting shadows that can be felt and their touch will chill your soul. They don’t tend to fight together though.”“So, like zombies but different,” I said.“An oversimplification, but essentially correct,” he agreed.“Let’s settle down here for a little picnic,” Momma said. “Buster, you have the blankets?”Buster nodded. I wasn’t sure what to do at first as Momma and Buster started placing things on the ground. She had a lot of food in her pack. In fact, it was mostly food. “Ah, I have some things too,” I said as I jumped.It wouldn’t be kind of me to just sit back and let her do all the work.And so after a long and difficult battle, we settled down for sandwiches and tea before the next fight.
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Five — Buddy System
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Five — Buddy System Lunch was had!It was really good too. I don’t know when Momma had time to make sandwiches, but they were excellent. The bread were big oval slices that still tasted fresh, and there was some sauce, lettuce, and carrots that had been shredded. There were even tiny tomato-like veggies cut up into little wafers inside.All that served next to a big, heaping salad and some tea which I made on the spot. Momma had brought a little tin with some herbs in it for the tea, mostly dried berries and some wild-flowers that I didn’t immediately recognize. They were the sweet highlight of the meal.Still, it was a little strange to be eating next to a forest where we knew enemies were lurking. I felt pretty safe, what with the buns and all, but I couldn’t help but glance over every so often, expecting a big ugly monster to leap out and try to have us for lunch.Being eaten would have ruined the whole mood of a picnic.“So,” Amaryllis asked as she poked at her salad. “There’s something that’s been bothering me.”“Oh?” Momma asked.“To open the gate to this floor, you need keys. Keys dropped by the zombies. Why did we try to sneak over if we would have had to kill them anyway?”I continued munching as I looked over to the buns. It was Carrot that replied, while dipping her namesake in some sort of savoury sauce. “Oh, that’s an easy one. There are a couple of spots near the wall that you can bunker up in. Nice and safe. Well, safe-ish.”“So you were trying to get us there?” I asked.“Yup! When you only have a couple of buns, it’s easy to be sneaky.”“You are very much the opposite of stealthy,” Peter said.“Hey now!” Carrot protested.I raised my hand up. I had a question too! “So, um, how do you fight a wight? Is there a trick to it? Oh! And what’s the puzzle on this floor?”Peter nodded. “Wights are best fought with fire. They tend to only attack individually, so there’s little strategy involved. As for the floor’s puzzle; there are five braziers, you need to light them all, and then the fog lifts and the gate unlocks.”“So we just run to each one?” I asked.Carrot shook her head. “Nope. They change places all the time. You need to find them all over again.”“I don’t suppose we’ll all stick together in one large group, as is sensible?” Amaryllis asked.“There’s four of you, and four of us,” Momma said. “I think groups of two would make sense. We can regroup at the gate once the fog lifts.”I sat up a little. “So who’s going to go with who?” I asked.“Whom,” Amaryllis and Peter said at the same time.Carrot raised her arms in victory. “That’s one pair!” she cheered. “I call dibs on the human!”“Oh?” Momma asked. “Do you think you and the girl would make a good pair?”“Nope! I just think she’s quiet enough that she won’t stop me from prattling on,” Carrot said.I considered that for a moment while Awen wiggled her arms, all flustered and cute. “Awen is a pretty great listener,” I said. “Try to get her to talk a little too. She can be very interesting once you get past all the cute shyness.”“That leaves myself and Broccoli, as well as Miss Momma and Buster,” Bastion said over the kettle-pitched squeaking that Awen was making. “Perhaps I should go with you, Buster. Leave the two team leaders to work together?”Buster nodded, and Momma smiled faintly. “That seems perfectly fair. Now, if everyone is quite done, let’s pack things up and prepare to head out.”“I can clean everything up,” I said.“Thank you, but conserve your mana for now, little bun, we’ll be needing it,” Momma said.That sounded quite reasonable, so I nodded and started to pack things away. There wasn’t much food left to store since the lot of us had eaten our fill. When everything was put away I took a moment to stretch-very important to do just before some physical activity-then took a glance at my stats.Health: 135/135Mana: 72/150Stamina: 74/135A bit more than half my mana and stamina were back. It had taken less time than I expected. At some point along the way the ‘one point a minute’ rule of thumb had fallen behind. Maybe as one levelled up things were restored faster? That sounded fair.I held my warspade to my side, then adjusted my hat and made sure my pack was nice and snug. “This is going to be weird,” I said.“Why’s that?” Amaryllis asked.“I’ve been with you and Awen since... well, a while now. We’re not always together-together, but we’re rarely more than a few dozen meters apart,” I said. I ran my thumb along the haft of my spade. “Can I give you both goodbye hugs?”Awen was quick to raise her arms in the optimal hugging position, so she got to be squeezed first. When I let go of her and turned to Amaryllis, it was to find her raising her wings with a roll of her eyes. “Fine, get it over with,” she said.I squeezed her extra tight before letting go.“Do you want a hug too, Bastion?” I asked.The sylph smiled and shook his head. “I think I’ll be fine without. Though I appreciate the offer.”“You can never have enough hugs,” I said.He still didn’t seem that interested, and I didn’t want to push him.“Okay then,” I said to Momma. “What should we talk about as we go find those braziers?”Momma chuckled. “Oh, this and that.”“Don’t get her started about her kids,” Carrot warned. “She’ll talk your entire ears off.”The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.We set off into the forest. I could hear Carrot talking for a little bit, but her voice was soon muffled by the fog, and within a dozen meters it was gone entirely. Momma and I walked more or less side-by-side. The problem was, the forest was the old sort, with bushes everywhere and walls of fallen branches making areas entirely unpassable.The fog didn’t help. It looked as if some parts of it were thicker than others, with tendrils that sat in the air and only moved with the gentle sway of bubbles in a lava lamp, only bigger, and not as colourful, and a lot creepier.“How long have you been friends with Amaryllis and Awen?” Momma asked.I grinned up at her. “A while! Well, actually it’s been about a month, I think.” Strange, it felt as if it had been a whole lot longer than that. Maybe it was because it had been busy, with kidnapping attempts, and... successful kidnappings—of Awen, at least—then long adventures and dungeon delves and a tournament arc. Then the dragons and a bit of time off with Amaryllis’ family. “It hasn’t been super long, but I think we’ve been through a lot.”Momma smiled over at me. “You have been through a lot together,” she said as she pushed a branch up for me to pass.I folded my ears back and squeezed under it. “Yeah,” I said. “They’ve both become... well, the kind of friends that I always dreamed of having, I guess. We’re not as close as we could be yet, but give us another couple of months, and we’ll be inseparable!”“How cute!” Momma said. “I hope you cherish your friends while you can. Life will sometimes drag people away from you, kicking and screaming sometimes, but still.”I didn’t want to agree, but I knew that she was right. “Yeah, I know,” I said. “But for this adventure, and the next, and the next, we’ll be together, and as long as I’m still able to, I’ll do everything I can to be the best friend they ever had.”Momma chuckled and pat me atop my helmet, right between my ears.I usually found it really annoying when people patted me, but Momma felt like... well, she felt like a mom, and that made it okay.“Careful,” Momma said.My ears perked and I looked around us. We had entered a little clearing. Nothing too big, just a circle some dozen meters wide at the centre, and surrounded by trees.“I think you should take this one,” Momma said. “It’ll be a good experience, and I can hop in if you need the help.”“Take on which one?” I asked as I looked around.A cackle from above had me looking up in time to see a blur leaping down at me.I squeaked and rolled to the side. It wasn’t the nicest roll, what with my pack dragging behind me, but I managed to find my feet and hop back a little.The thing was attacking Momma, arms swinging wildly, and breath coming out in a hiss.Momma was parrying every punch and swing with one arm, pushing the blows away here, and weaving out of the way there. She was dancing, almost, and all with the easy grace of someone running through some habitual motion. She could have been doing the dishes for all the effort she seemed to put into the fight.The monster, the wight, I realized, seemed to notice, and it bounced back.“Hey!” I called out at it as I launched a ball of Cleaning magic right towards the side of its head.The wight ducked back and out of the spell’s path, then with its back curved all the way around, it planted its hands into the ground and cartwheeled back and out of the way of a second spell.It pressed its feet into the dirt, bunched up its legs, and shot towards me.For just a moment I was surprised, but if there was one thing I was getting decent at, it was fighting in the air, and I knew that once you took off, there wasn’t much you could do to change directions.The wight’s eyes, two glowing blue orbs that didn’t have iris or pupil, widened a little as I spun around and brought my spade up like a baseball bat.The thunk of the spade meeting the monster’s face rattled my arms, but it still felt pretty great.The wight rolled on landing, then reached out an arm and raked at my side. My armour took the worst of it, but I still felt its long, claw-like fingers digging into my ribs through my gambeson. Instead of stepping back, I moved in and tried to knee the monster.It stepped to the side and swung at me again.I parried with the haft of my spade, but that left my other side open and the wight was quick to take advantage of that.The shadows around us raced up, and like grasping tendrils from some sort of eldritch monster, they grabbed at my legs and pinned me in place as the wight punched me full-on in the chest.If it wasn’t for my breastplate, that would have been awful. As it was, it still knocked some of the wind out of me.I let loose a bust of Cleaning magic, then when the tendrils grasping me loosened a bit, I hopped up on the spot and rammed a knee into the wight’s face.It reeled back, which let me land and spin around.Magic rushed to my foot just before my roundhouse crashed into the monster’s chest, a good dose of stamina powering the blow.The wight went flying back.“You, are very rude,” I panted as I walked over to it with my spade.I brought the tool up, then swung it down as hard as I could.The wight turned to dust beneath me.Momma clapped behind me, while a very welcome message dinged into being before me. “Well done, little bun,” Momma said. “I think with a few years practice you could become quite the warrior!”
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Six — Matchmaking 101 With Momma
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Six — Matchmaking 101 With Momma I wiped my brow and glanced at the message from Mister Menu about the wight. It wasn’t anything very interesting, but it did confirm that I’d won. Well, the wight turning to dust like all dead dungeon creatures did that, but it double-confirmed it.“That was a workout,” I said.“I suppose so,” Momma said. “You did very well though.”“I have the impression that a lot of the buns in Hopsalot would be a lot stronger than me,” I said.Momma nodded. “That would be a correct impression, but you can’t always judge yourself based on the standards of others. Rather, you need to be able to compare yourself to yourself first, to see the improvements you’re making, and strive for more, regardless of how others are improving faster or slower around you. Also, I suspect that Hopsalot is a very unique village.”I thought about what she said. That sounded like a very nice philosophy to live by. “Have you travelled a lot?” I asked.Momma smiled. “When I was a younger bun, yes. Now that I’m an old lady, I’ve found the desire to go out and explore has lessened somewhat.”“So, you had a bunch of adventures?” I asked.“Oh yes. Plenty. Though they were a little closer to home. I’ve been to the Trenten Flats, and through the Hoofbreaker woods, I traveled east and south too.” Momma stretched her back. “Should we continue?” she asked.I nodded and stretched just like she did. It felt good to make my back pop-pop after moving so much. Most of the time though, there wasn’t... well, time, to stretch before a fight.“Momma?” I asked as I thought of something. “Do you think I can become strong too? Like you.”“Oh?” she asked. “Of course. It’s never too late to become stronger. Is there a reason you want to improve yourself?”“Yeah, of course. I need to help my friends. I can’t do that if I’m weak. Well, that’s not entirely true. You don’t need to be strong to be a good friend. Hugs are hugs, after all, but if we’re going to be helping the World, and going on big adventures, then I need to be able to watch out for them, right?”“That’s a good attitude to have,” Momma agreed. “And yes, I think you have plenty of chances to grow stronger. Just keep in mind that martial strength isn’t the greatest thing there is. I have a couple of more combat-orientated classes, but they’re not the ones I rely on the most.”“They’re not?” I asked.She shook her head. “Nope. That’s my Mom class.”There was a Mom class? Wait, no, of course there was. “That sounds really nice,” I said.“It's a good class to have,” she agreed. “I’ve evolved it once or twice, so now it’s at Greater Grand Mom, but it started a little simpler than that. Knowing how to kiss boo boos better, and how to give good hugs is invaluable.”“I don’t think I want to be a mom just yet,” I said. “I couldn’t do that and adventure at the same time.”She laughed. “No, I would hope not. Give yourself a few years to find a nice beau with good ears.”Good ears? That was weird, but I chose not to comment. It was likely a bun thing.“Alright,” I said. “So, we need to find this big sconce thing, right?”Momma nodded. “That’s right. Do you feel up to taking the next wight we run across?”“Sure,” I said. I probably needed a couple more minutes to rebuild my stamina, but as long as there was a pause between fights I’d likely be fine. “As long as you’re supervising, I think I should be okay.”We pushed deeper into the foggy forest, and did run into a wight. The problem was, it wasn’t alone.Momma hummed a discordant note that had me looking around until I spotted a wight crouching in the trees above. Then, with a slight rustle, a second appeared in a bush off to the side.“I thought they only attacked one at a time,” I said.“Perhaps they’re not entirely aware of each other. Or they intend to each go after one of us,” Momma said.That made sense. “One each, then?” I asked.“Certainly. I’ll take that one.” She pointed up in the tree where the undead monster seemed ready to leap down. “You get the other one, alright?”I nodded and quickly dropped my pack and set my spade, ready for a fight.The wight above jumped down with a hiss, shadows trailing after it like ghostly flames and clawed hands splayed wide.Momma leapt up, spun around in mid-air, and punched the monster in the head with a fist that burned bright with roaring flames.The wight sorta just exploded, and Momma landed a little ways away, shaking her hand to dispel the flames. “Ah, I’m not so young anymore,” she complained.I think I had to disagree, and the wight, the very dead one, seemed to be on my side with that.The second monster scampered out of the underbrush and scurried towards me on all fours. I set my spade, tucking it under my armpit and holding it in place while I brought my left hand to the side and hid it behind me a little. The monster wouldn’t be able to see me forming any spells.I started to form the spell I’d practiced the most, the fire-aspect mana warming up my palm as I twisted the magic this way and that.The monster stopped just out of spade-reach and slapped the ground.Long, wriggling shadows formed in the air and lashed out at me.I jumped to the side, kicked off a tree, then used that to jump back towards the wight while extending my arm out towards it with nine spinning fireballs hovering over it.The fireballs launched with sounds like a hose when you jammed your thumb into the opening.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.The wight tried to roll out of their path, but the spray was too wide. A pair of them caught the monster in the side, and clung onto the tattered clothes it wore.The wight screeched, but instead of rolling to put off the flames, it charged right at me, arms swinging like mad.I parried the first blow, then the second with the haft of my spade, then, as it pulled back to strike again, I saw an opening and bonked it on the head with the flat of my shovel.The wight wiggled a bit, stunned by the blow, and still very much on fire. “Sorry!” I said as I swung hard and fast.Ding! Congratulations, you have bonked ‘Wight of Newbining’s Forest, level 14! Bonus Exp was granted for thumping a monster above your level!“Woo!” I cheered.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Matchmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!“I got a rank up!” I cheered.Momma clapped. “Well done! Which skill improved?”I grinned over to her, a proud warmth in my tummy. “My Matchmaking skill.”The older bun blinked. “Matchmaking? Did you... fancy the wight?”“Huh?” I asked. “Matchmaking is for setting things on fire. Well, I guess you could use it for other things.”Momma nodded. “I use it for matching up my grandbunnies with cute boys and girls, and as an excuse to meddle in other people’s business.”I gave her a look.She crossed her arms. “There’s very little to actually do in Hopsalot, I’ll have you know. Meddling is a perfectly acceptable pastime.”“Hmph,” I said. “That doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to do.”“Now now, I’m hardly meddling that much. Just nudging things along. You don’t get great-great grand buns without helping your shy great-grand buns find someone good for them.”I shook my head. Momma had a bit of a mean side to her after all. Not that I could blame her that much, the little buns were very cute. “Should we keep going?” I asked.“Certainly,” she replied.We continued through the forest at a nice, decent clip. The brambles and bushes were hard to navigate around, and in some places trees had fallen, creating big, branchy barriers that we had to find ways around.This forest was nothing like those in the movies I’d watched. The ground was all bumpy, and covered in roots and pits where you could easily twist an ankle. Fortunately, Momma and I were both pretty good at jumping over and around obstacles.It took a few minutes, but at long last, we ran into what I suspected was a sconce.The thing was like a big bowl made of cement or some sort of shaped stone. It was big enough around that I could have laid down in it and still have some room to spare. That was handy, I was afraid that we were looking for a really small thing that would be easily hidden.“So, how do we light it?” I asked as I peeked over the top and looked in. There were some logs and such on the inside, with a layer of dried leaves under them and a few brambles here and there.Momma snapped her fingers and a ball of fire hovered over her index. “I suppose like this?”She flicked the tiny fireball into the stone basin and it smacked against the leaves and logs within. A moment later, the fire spread and a pillar of smoke rose out of the basin as the leaves all whooshed and burned.It wouldn’t take long for that to transfer over to the logs.“Nice!” I said. “Victory hug?”Momma chuckled and opened her arms wide a moment before I crashed into her. I nestled my head in the crook of her neck while she did the same. I wanted it to be a quick hug, but Momma was warm, and she felt a lot like... well, like a mom.I didn’t sniffle or anything, but Momma did tighten the hug and patted my back. “There, there, you’re a good bun, aren’t you?” she muttered.I nodded a little.Did it really have to take a hug for me to realize how much I missed my mom?Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Hugging!I laughed and pulled out of the hug, with only a bit of reluctance. “Thanks, Momma,” I said.“No problem,” she replied easily. “Should we keep going?”“Yeah!” I said. I used a bit of Cleaning magic on my face, just to make sure it was nice and neat. “Let’s find the next brazier.”Hugging, Rank F — 04%The ability to hug. Your proficiency and instincts for hugging have improved! Hug harder, hug better.I laughed and skipped ahead.We only ran across one more wight in the following minutes, one that was tucked under a pile of leaves and who attacked us with shadow-y spears from every direction without coming out of hiding. Momma got tired of ducking and weaving around, so she ended up flipping over to it and crushing it with a stomp that made the trees rattle.A minute or so later the fog started to lift and the woods lightened.“It seems that our companions have lit the last of the fires,” Momma said.She led us over to the far wall, where the entrance to the next area was supposed to be, without so much as hesitating. Her sense of direction had to be really good.When I found my friends all gathering up near the gate to the next floor, I ran ahead and crashed into them with a happy hug.I had to get grinding, of course!“Get off me, you moron!” Amaryllis whined.“I’m just getting better!” I said.“That doesn’t make sense, you damned oaf!”
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Ashes to Ashes
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Ashes to Ashes The gate to the sixth floor was only half-way opened. It was one of those old-style barriers, with an interwoven mesh of steel bars across it. Huge roots crawled through the lacing, jamming it in place so that to cross, most of us would need to duck.“Before we move on to the next area,” Momma said. “I think it would be nice to know what to expect, don’t you think?”Most of us nodded at that, and Carrot raised her hand like an attentive schoolgirl. “I know what’s next!” she cheered.“Please do tell,” Momma said.“It’s the... dead lord guy,” Carrot said. “He’s actually pretty tough.”“The draugr lord,” Peter corrected.“That’s what I said.”Peter shook his head. “No. It’s not the same.”“Isn’t he dead, and a lord?” Carrot asked.“Technically.”Carrot’s smugness radiated off her. “Then I was close enough.”Amaryllis stepped in with a smart question, because that’s what Amaryllis liked doing. “Could you perhaps explain the boss’ mechanisms a little more?”Carrot nodded, then helped her explanation using big, sweeping gestures. “So, you’ve got this big tomb-thing.”“A mausoleum,” Peter said.“And it’s set in the ground a bit. Now, when you go in, there’s this big huge room with a platform on the end and this coffin on it. The dead lord will burst out of that thing.”“It’s a tomb, and the dead lord is a draugr, a sort of undead,” Peter added.“Now, when he gets to fighting, these other undead guys will come out of the sides, from all of these tombs leaning against the walls. They’re not nearly as strong though.”Peter nodded. “More draugr. As noted, they’re not as powerful as the lord himself.”“And to win?” Amaryllis asked.“Kill the dead lord,” Carrot said.“It’s more complicated than that. With every additional undead that dies, he grows a little stronger. There are a finite supply of those, though. He is agile and strong enough that killing him outright is difficult. If you do kill him, then kill the allies he summons, then he just comes back to life.”“So it’s a battle of attrition,” I said. “You need to keep the boss busy while you get rid of the additional fighters, then you focus everything on him?”“Yeah,” Carrot said. “He’s strong, but not offensively. He mostly gets harder to hurt over time.”“There’s more to it than that,” Peter said. “The lord has four guardians. They could be considered side-bosses, if you want. They’re quite fearsome in their own right.”Momma hummed. “I think a fair solution would be to allow our young friends here to take care of the weaker foes while we get rid of the boss. With all of us here, it shouldn’t be too difficult to clear the boss in a few moments.”I nodded along. That sounded doable.When we moved on to the other side, I made sure to stay close to my friends. I didn’t know if walking with our arms linked counted towards improving Hugging’s level, but I was willing to try.“How are you feeling so far?” I asked Awen.We ducked under the gate, and found ourselves in a wide open space with a few trees and one large building in the middle. It was a big square place, dug into the side of a hill and entirely made of black stones. The tomb or mausoleum or whatever, wasn’t in the greatest of shapes. Bricks were falling apart on it, and large roots dug into its sides.“Ah? I’m doing okay,” Awen said. “It’s kind of scary, and it’s hard, but I’m growing very fast. I think this is the kind of adventuring uncle did all the time when he was younger.”“I don’t know if he’s really an example you’d want to follow,” Amaryllis said.“Uncle is free, and he’s very strong. Even when he wants to do things that people don’t like, he’s never stopped. And he's well-respected by some very good people,” Awen said. “He might not be perfect, but I like him very much.”“Yeah,” I said. “I want to be like him too, when I get older.”“I’ll be sure to keep an eye on any mustache you happen to grow,” Amaryllis said.I booped her with my hip. “Don’t be silly. But.. if I could grow one, I’d want it to be just like Abraham’s.”She shook her head. “I never understood the need for facial hair. It’s not something you’ll ever see on a harpy man.”“Can harpy boys get facial hair?” I asked. “Or like, any hair on their bodies?”“Men tend to have small feathers on their upper arms and legs,” Amaryllis said. “Otherwise, no. No hair, or facial feathers.”I hummed and untangled my arm from hers to pat her on the head. It was strange, I’d hugged her plenty, but I never really took any time to poke at her hair...or head-feathers, I suppose. They were surprisingly dry, but the tufts near their base were very soft and fluffy, like down feathers. “Weird,” I said.“Get your hands off my head, you moron,” she said. “You don’t know the first thing about preening and it shows.”“Oh! Maybe you should show us? I bet it would be fun to learn. I could teach you how to braid human hair. Mine’s getting long. I keep thinking that I need a haircut, but I forget every time we’re in a city.”“I could help,” Awen said. “I’m pretty good with styling and that kind of thing. I don’t have a skill for it, but I used to like playing with my maid’s hair.”I grinned. “That would be great.” My hair was all bundled up in a rough ponytail at the back of my neck, which was fine for keeping it out of the way, but it was getting to be a bit much. Long hair was pretty, but a little annoying.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!“I should teach you some bun braids,” Carrot said as she moved over to our side. We were still trekking over to the mausoleum, but we were mostly taking our time. “You need to braid your hair so it doesn’t pull at your ears.”“Oh, I hadn’t really thought of that,” I said.“If we’re all quite done talking about our hair,” Peter said. “We should form up before entering.”“I don’t know,” Carrot said. “I could go on for quite a while. Heck, we should do something about your hair, Peter. The messy look kinda works for you, but I think you would be a lot more handsome if you tried using a comb one of these days.”“Touch me, and you’ll regret it,” Peter said.“Children.” Surprisingly, it was Buster who spoke, not Momma. The big one-and-a-half-eared bun pointed to the mausoleum. “Pay attention, please.”“Buster’s right, let’s form up,” Momma said. “Us elders will take the lead and focus on the boss. Carrot, Peter, that leaves two sub-bosses for each of you, but I don’t think they all show up at the same time. Little ones, spread out, but not too much, and take out the weaker foes before they can become a hindrance, alright?”I nodded and I saw my friends doing the same. We prepped our gear and got ready to fight. Awen had it hardest of all since she carried two weapons that couldn’t be used at the same time. She hung her crossbow away for this fight though and swung her hammer around to limber up her arm.Amaryllis twirled her dagger and let loose a few sparks, and Bastion just placed a hand on his hilt while looking cool.“We’re ready,” I said.“Wonderful.”The doors to the mausoleum were large stone things, closed in with a pair of big, wrought-iron handles in the middle. The entire thing was covered in carvings. I could only just make out the words ‘Ashes to Ashes’ engraved into the stone.Buster pushed them open and we walked into a little antechamber with a big metal bowl in the middle, and two more doors at the end of the room.“It’s on the other side of those,” Carrot said. She snapped her fingers and flicked some fire into the bowl. It lit up, and from below, a line of fire darted out of the bowl and down a track that led into a hole in the wall opposite. “And now we’ll have light.”We moved over to the right-most door, and Buster shoved it open.The room was as big around as a hockey rink, minus any room for seating, with a ceiling reaching way up above and held there by big pillars. The sides had little alcoves, where standing coffins lined the walls.In the middle was a raised section—a dias—with steps all around it on which sat five coffins. Four stood on big, ornate racks, and the fifth was laying down in pride of place atop a golden platform.Sconces came whooshing to life as lines of fire burned across the room, each one leading back to a hole in the wall next to the entrance. A line of fuses to turn everything on? Neat.Banners hung from the ceiling, with images of skulls and what looked like stylized ghosts on them. The words ‘dust to dust’ were woven into the images.“The boss will pop up as soon as we set foot near that coffin of his,” Carrot said. “We need to grab that to open the next gate.” The bun pointed ahead and to something atop the coffin.I squinted, and could only just make out a statue in the darkness behind. Around its neck, glinting in the poor light, was a key.Our footsteps were only little tips and taps, but they still felt loud in the cavernous room as we advanced towards the platform. My friends and I stopped before the steps and fanned out a little bit, all of us eyeing the coffins by the sides while the buns moved on ahead.The near-silence was broken by a floor-shuddering boom.I eeped and jumped a little while turning to face the front of the room where the big coffin in the middle was still shuddering from the aftereffects of a huge blow.Another boom, and the coffin’s cover jumped up a little while a cascade of dust slipped down its sides.With a grinding squeal of stone rubbing against stone, the lid of the draugr lord’s casket slid to the side and then crashed to the ground with a shudder that I felt in my legs.Bony, near-skeletal hands, partially covered in rust-covered mail, grabbed at the edge of the box, and with a tug, they hauled the undead lord upright. In the poor lighting, I couldn’t make out every detail, but he was pale-skinned and deathly, with a grin filled with uneven teeth and armour that was part rust, and part beautifully crafted armour.The draugr lord roared, a blast of sound that shook dust from the ceiling and knocked my ears back.And then Carrot sped over to his side faster than I could blink and punched him hard in the face.The casket exploded in a shower of stone and the draugr’s corpse went flying out the back. “Enough with the posturing,” Carrot said. “I’ve got things to do tonight!”The two tombs next to the draugr lord’s burst open, unveiling two more undead, one in rotting robes, the other in dried leather armour.All around the room, caskets started to open and the undead began crawling out.I set my feet and inspected one of the first that caught my eye.Servant of the Draugr Lord of Newbinning, level 13A bit higher levelled than I was, but I had a type advantage. And a higher level just meant more experience points for me. “Do your best everyone!” I called out.“Oh? Thank goodness you said that, I intended to do my worst,” Amaryllis snarked.I snorted even as she let loose a volley of lightning and the fight began in earnest.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Everybuny was Draugr Fighting
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Everybuny was Draugr Fighting It didn’t take much to learn how to fight the draugr. Not that it was easy.I stepped out of the path of the undead before me, then dipped down and pointed the point of my spade up and at the draugr’s chest. When I sprung up, it was while extending my arms as hard and fast as I could to stab the undead in the sternum.My warspade dug into the monster’s old leather armour, then hit the dried bone beneath with a dull thump. The draugr stumbled back, but that wasn’t enough to take it out.Raising its arm, the monster brought an axe up above its head and started to swing it down.I eeped and reached up, catching its forearm before it could chop my head open.The draugr and I stared at each other as the moment held, his axe hovering a foot over my head and my spade still poking into his chest.He growled and started to push down.The monster was way stronger than I was. I had the advantage of speed and agility, the draugr had strength and undead endurance on their side. It usually ended in my favour, but only by a thin margin.I fired some Cleaning magic into the undead’s arm, the rotting flesh therecrumbling like dry sand, and the axe dropping from fingers that went loose.Thinking quick, I swiped the axe out of the air, flipped it around, and buried it in the undead’s neck.Its head went flying, and soon my warspade loosened as the monster it was stabbed into turned to so much dust. Dust that swirled and spun and flew off to the front of the room where the buns were fighting.I glanced that way, just in time to see the dust sink onto the draugr lord and heal some of his wounds.The buns were doing alright. Buster had one of the four guardian draugr pinned down, and Carrot and Peter were switching between their own opponents and the boss. Momma, meanwhile, was beating the stuffings out of a draugr in heavy plate. They would have won a long time ago, if it wasn’t for all the dust moving from the undead to their leaders and basically keeping them healed up.“Broc!”I spun around and refocused. Amaryllis had been the one to call out, but she seemed fine, with a draugr hanging from marionette strings before her and keeping another busy while she sniped at it with bursts of crackling magic. She pointed off to the side, and I found myself wincing.Awen was having some trouble. The monster she was fighting was taller and stronger than her, and she kept stumbling back and out of the way of the heaving swings of its two-headed axe.I bounced over, and when the draugr raised his weapon for another swing, I jabbed my spade into its armpit as hard as I could.The undead’s arm drooped, axe clattering to the ground.Awen got her feet under her properly, then rushed forwards with a squeaking and not very intimidating yell. Her hammer came crashing down onto the draugr’s head,cracking bone, tearing sinew, and blasting apart the monster's dust cloud.“Are you okay?” I asked.Awen panted, then spat to the side. “I’m fine,” she said, sounding very tough. “...Awa.” Maybe not very tough.I pat her on the back, then surveyed the room again. The draugr kept coming, but unlike the zombies from a couple of floors back, they took some time to drag themselves out of their caskets, and so we only had to face them one at a time.Bastion was doing a big portion of the work. He darted across half the room, wings beating and humming as he struck out at the undead with fencer-like lunges and pokes that didn’t leave them with any time to react.“More,” Awen said. She pointed out to a pair of the undead coming our way.“Alright,” I said. “I’ll distract them, can you take one out then?”She nodded and I rushed ahead.The first draugr had a pair of little axes, the one behind him had a short spear with a rusty point. I decided to focus the nearest with the axes first.My attempt to bonk him with the flat of my spade was met with a parry, and the draugr stepped up, its other axe swinging horizontally through the air right for me.I stepped back, then feigned swinging as hard and fast as I could.The undead raised both axes and caught the haft of my spade with the wooden handles of his axes. Not that it was hard, I wasn’t actually swinging to injure.The moment my spade rattled I let go of it and ran up to the draugr. With a little hop, I placed a foot on his knee, then jumped up and used its shoulder as a stepping stool.One foot raised, I concentrated a bunch of Cleaning magic into my heel and brought it crashing down onto the draugr’s head. The undead was wearing a coppery cap atop his skull, and that took some of the damage from my attack, but most of it washed into its head in the form of Cleaning magic, and I saw the light dimming in its eyes as it began to crumble.Unfortunately, that left me falling down without a way to maneuver out of the path of the second draugr’s spear thrust.I began to move to kick the spear away when a trio of clacks sounded out and the draugr sprouted some feathery bolts. One pinned its arm to its chest, swinging the spear to the side and out from under me.I landed in a crouch, then reached up and grabbed one of the bolts jutting out of the monster’s chest. A burst of Cleaning magic fired through the bolt dug into the undead’s core and soon it was turning into so much dust.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.Awen moved over to me while winding the crank on the side of her crossbow. “Are you okay?” she asked.I nodded, and since I was already crouching, picked up the bolts laying on the ground. One had snapped, but the others looked alright.Taking a moment just to breathe, I inspected the room again. Something niggled at me. Most of the dungeons we’d been in needed you to fight, but there was almost always a solution outside of that.My attention caught on one of the decrepit old banners, one that I hadn’t noticed because it hung over the entranceway. It would have been above us when we entered the room.“Ashes to Ashes.Dust to Dust.”What did that mean? It was a simple enough rhyme, and I was pretty sure I’d heard it before, but why was it here? I looked down and shifted my feet when I saw another draugr stumbling towards us.“Almost loaded!” Awen said.I nodded. “Got it,” I said.Amaryllis had finished off her last opponent, and was bent over with talons on knees, gasping for air.“Amaryllis, group up with Awen, take a break,” I called out.“No breaks for me?” Bastion questioned as he casually swiped a draugr’s head off.“Do you need it?” I asked.He laughed. “No! I’m actually enjoying myself quite a bit. This is good practice.”I left him to it. It was rare to see that much emotion on Bastion’s face. He was in his element, I supposed.“Broc, are you going to take care of that one?” Awen asked. She was pointing ahead.The draugr had more armour than the rest of those I’d fought, but instead of a spear or axe, it carried a long staff topped with a fist-sized gem, bit of gnarled wood folded around it to hold it in place.“Hey there,” I said as I picked up my warspade and held it out before me.The draugr’s response was to wave an arm before it. I felt the wind in the room shift a bit, and the flames in some of the sconces nearby fluttered towards the draugr. A ball of something crystal-y formed before him.Ice?I didn’t have time to wonder as it shot out towards me.I ducked to the side and swung my spade to hit it, but missed entirely.The spike curved a little, and I flinched as it sliced across my bicep. “Ah!”“Broc!” Awen said. She raised her crossbow and pulled the trigger, then racked a bolt back to fire again. Three twangs sent a trio of arrows at the draugr.It responded by summoning a wall of twisting snowflakes before it that sent Awen’s bolts flying off to the sides to clatter against the walls behind it.Pushing a bit of Cleaning magic to my wound, I set my feet and narrowed my eyes. That monster was tougher. I doubted Cleaning balls would hit it, and fireballs were right out. Which left a more physical approach to things.I charged straight at the undead mage.It didn’t have the muscles left in its face to look surprised, but I imagined that it wasn’t expecting me to jump through his icy barrier with a burst of Cleaning magic to negate the worst of the icy specks darting around.My spade came around with a great big arc, but the draugr, despite his heavier armour, was nimble enough to duck back.I shook myself, flecks of ice dropping from my clothes and head. It was only a bit chilly. I could take it. The draugr snapped his staff down to hit me, but I brought my spade up and caught it mid-haft. “Hah!” I said.The undead brought the staff up, just a bit, then smacked it down on my knuckles.“Hah!” I cried out. That stung!I hopped back and jumped on the spot while cradling my hand. It wasn’t broken or anything, but it hurt worse than the cut to my arm did.The draugr, looking rather pleased with himself, raised a hand in my direction.“Oh no, you don’t!” I said.I tackled the undead in the chest, and we both went tumbling back to crash on the ground. The problem, I realized almost right away, was that he was still stronger than me, and that in a fight that mostly involved grappling, I was at something of a disadvantage.We rolled a bit, bursts of Cleaning magic shooting out into the undead while he groaned and growled and tried to claw at me. We had moved closer to that strange half-pipe that had carried flames to each lantern.I got one hand free, reached into the trough, and grabbed a handful of ash to fling into the undead’s face.I was expecting it to go blind for a bit. I wasn’t expecting its head to melt.“Huh?” I said as I crashed down, no longer held up by the undead as its body collapsed.I... hadn’t really worked to kill it, but I noticed Mister Menu’s notification pinging me about it anyway. I pushed that to the side for the moment as I stood up.Had I done enough damage, or was it something else?The ash?The body hadn’t sent a tendril of dust over to the undead the buns were fighting either.I grabbed a handful of ash from the nearest sconce. Some was still really hot, but I ignored that as I looked for another undead. It wasn’t hard to find one walking towards Amaryllis and Awen. It already had a pair of bolts stuck in it.Getting up, I ran up behind the monster and flung my fistful of ash at it. Where it touched the undead’s skin, the flesh and bone sort of sizzled and melted away.“I figured it out!” I cheered.Well, ‘figured it out’ was a big way to say I accidentally stumbled on a solution, but it was close enough.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Nine — Ashes, Ashes, They All Fall Down
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Nine — Ashes, Ashes, They All Fall Down I squinted my eyes to prevent the ash from blinding me as I threw a handful of the grey-ish stuff ahead of me.The draugr it hit twitched as the ash covered its skin and bones, then began to melt into it like some sort of acid in one of those old action movies.The ash didn’t destroy the monsters right away. Where it touched them, it would melt them a bit, but it did hurt them a whole lot. Flesh turned to dust, and that dust, in turn, made the bones and skin and rotten muscles around it turn into more dust. It wasn’t completely effective, and the melting effect would end soon after contact with the ash, but it did slow the draugr down.Better yet, they didn’t reinforce the big boss draugr in the middle when they died.The undead just before me raised his axe and stumbled forwards, intent to shave my ears off even if he was melting a little, so I hopped forward and bunny-kicked him in the chest, sending him reeling back.Awen, who had coated her hammer and bolts in ash already, fired into the undead’s side. The bolt wobbled in place as the flesh and bones around it melted a bit.“Nice!” I called back. I picked up my spade, the flat of which I’d patted down with ash already, and swung it hard into the draugr’s face. The undead crashed to the floor while my spade shook post-bonk.I backed up before the draugr could kick my legs out from under me, then took a moment to look around. There were a lot of piles of dust where undead had been, but few undead left. Bastion was taking his time with one of them, being the only one in our group that didn’t use the ash since... well, he really didn’t need to. Other than the one Amaryllis had stuck with a bunch of wires, there weren’t any undead left.“Is that it?” I asked.Amaryllis casually stabbed her puppet in the back, then let it fall to the ground. “I suppose so. You should finish that one off, it’s starting to stand up.”I moved up to the draugr before me, stepped on the haft of its axe to stop it from raising it, then bonked it hard on the head again. The undead started to turn to dust a moment later.I paused, taking a deep breath. “Whoa, I’m pooped,” I said.On the podium behind me, Carrot was pretty much working alone against the boss. She still had a bunch of energy left, if the way she juked and danced was any indication, and she was using that to bug the draugr lord between delivering heavy blows. The other buns were relaxing a little and watching the spectacle.Doing a dungeon when you were so much stronger felt almost like cheating.“They didn’t just train in this dungeon, right?” I asked Amaryllis.“I doubt it. I don’t know what classes they have, but this place gives me the impression that it would push them more towards an undead class of some sort or another. I figure they train in a few dungeons.”I nodded. That made sense. The buns were strong, really strong. Well, these buns were. Maybe the ones in Hopsalot weren’t quite on their level, but somehow I doubted that all of the guard buns were much weaker.Carrot landed the final blow, an axe kick that ended with her heel crushing the draugr lord’s head into the ground with a dull thwump that made the whole mausoleum rumble.“Done!” Carrot cheered.I clapped. “Nice work!”My friends slumped a bit, and honestly, I felt like joining them. I had a few muscles that were on the sore side, and even though we’d had lunch and such not too long ago, I was ready for another snack. Maybe some water too. It was fairly warm in the room, what with all the torches, and my armour was sticking to me in all the yuckiest ways.I didn’t want to use up too much mana, so I kept it down to a low simmer across my whole body. It at least got rid of some of the ash clinging to me.“Well done everyone,” Momma said. “Peter, could you grab that key? I think we’ll take a breather, then keep on moving. I would like to end all of this in a timely manner.”“Awa,” Awen complained as she flopped down onto the steps leading up to the boss’s coffin. “I don’t know if I can take more of this. I’m tired all over.”I trudged over next to her and sat down too. We used each other’s shoulders as places to rest. “It’s okay,” I said. “Think of all the experience we’re gaining.”I think that clued Mister Menu in, because I got a happy little ding just after saying so.Ding! Congratulations, you have shoveled fourteen (14) Servant of the Draugr Lord of Newbinning, level 13, off the mortal coil! Bonus Exp was granted for entrenching a monster above your level! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!I leaned forwards just a little, expecting the next message. Mister Menu didn’t disappoint.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun Bun class has reached level 12!Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointI nodded and leaned forwards a little, even as the slow tingle of a level up started to grow in my tummy.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 4!Health +5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointYou have gained: One Class Skill SlotYes! I whooped and pulled Awen into a tight-tight hug.She laughed and returned the hug. “I got a level up too,” she said. “Still nothing for my Glass Mage.”“That’s because you’re not using it enough,” Amaryllis sniffed most haughtily. She looked flushed and happy though, so I guessed she’d gone up a level or two as well.“I think I’m at the same level as you,” I said to my harpy friend.“Really now?” she asked. I could read that glimmer in her eyes. She was thinking very competitive thoughts.I nodded, which coincidentally had me rubbing my cheek atop Awen’s head. “Yeah. And when we met I was a few levels lower. I think maybe you’re a bit slow.” I giggled at the look she gave me, like someone who really had to use a washroom.“We’ll see about that,” she huffed.Mister Menu had more good news for me.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Way of the Mystic Bun skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C Costs one Class Point!That was really nice. As soon as I got my Cleaning to the next rank, that was the skill I’d invest in.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Archeology skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a Free Rank!And that was a skill I’d nearly forgotten I had. It was a cool skill, but for the moment not one that was all that useful.Archeology — Rank EThe Ability to find and discover long lost secrets. Your ability to uncover the long-forgotten truth has grown sharper.Neat, and I bet it would be awesome at higher ranks, but for now, it was a strange skill to have. Well, I wouldn’t complain.This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.“Mister Menu, can I see my stats page, please?” I asked the air.“Are you talking to... the World?” Amaryllis asked. “Are you a child?”“At heart I am, yes,” I said.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
12
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
4
Age
16
Health
145
Stamina
150
Mana
145
Resilience
55
Flexibility
70
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 90%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 100%
Gardening
D — 24%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 94%
Mad Millinery
D — 04%
General Skills
Insight
C — 96%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
E — 00%
Friendmaking
C — 71%
MatchMaking
D — 03%
Hugging Proficiency
F — 89%
Cinnamon Bun Skill Points
6
Wonderlander Skill Points
3
General Skill Points
4
First Class Slots
0
Second Class Slots
1
General Skill Slots
4
I was progressing along nicely! A bit more effort and Cleaning would be at Rank S! I couldn’t wait to see what that would do.“Are you girls ready to head out?” A voice from above asked.I tilted my head back until my ears booped someone’s knees and looked up into Carrot’s wide, inquisitive eyes. “Yeah, I think so,” I said. “This wasn’t the final boss, right?”“Nope! Three more floors. Well, two, then the final boss,” she said. “But don’t worry. This boss is the most annoying one. He does drop nice loot!”I bounced to my feet, then helped Awen up. “Show us the loot!”The loot, as it turned out, was not as impressive as I’d expected from Carrot. There was a sword. Short and surprisingly plain. That was from one of the draugr. It was a very viking-y sword. Not my sort of thing, and no one in my group seemed that keen on it.A breastplate, one that was a bit rusty already. A hat with some horns, but it only gave the Plunder skill when I tried it on. Not my thing. And, the item dropped by the boss itself. It was long, made of bright steel with delicate engravings. The end had a bejeweled cap that sparkled in the torch light.“What is it?” I asked as I poked the... thing.“It’s a snuffer,” Amaryllis said. “For extinguishing torches and lamps.”I blinked. “It’s a very fancy snuffer,” I said. “But, um, why?”The buns only had shrugs in reply. “We mostly use the steel for nails and some armour and such,” Buster said. “It’s fairly good material.”“I have a very nice bed lamp made from about a dozen of those little caps all arranged together,” Momma said. “It’s quite pretty.”“Well okay then,” I said. I supposed no matter how shiny and jewel-encrusted something was, if it didn’t have a use, then it wasn’t worth all that much at the end of the day. “Are we heading over to the next floor now?” I asked.There was some easy agreement at that, and so the whole lot of us left the mausoleum as a group. It had been a tough fight, but all in all, not really that much of a challenge. I probably shouldn’t have been disappointed, but I expected a little... more, somehow.Oh well. I told myself it was for the best. It did show that I needed to practice a bit more, and that I still had a long way to go until I was as strong as someone like Bastion or the buns.The next wall had a big gate in it, one with a padlock by its middle. I supposed that the key from the boss was meant to unlock that, but it really wasn’t necessary.The gate, made of wood reinforced by thick metal bands, was torn asunder, with a huge root poking through and leaving a passage more than wide enough for any one of us to wiggle through.“Well, that was a waste,” Carrot said.Peter nodded. “Feels like it. I should have scouted ahead.”“Nothing for it,” Momma said. “Now, what should we be expecting on the other side?”“Dead Knights, Dread Knights, and at the very end,” Peter said. “The last boss of this old dungeon. The Dreaded Dead Knight.”I giggled, which earned me a stern look from the ninja-bun. “He’s a formidable opponent.”Carrot joined in my laughter.It only got worse when Peter grumbled and Momma pat him consolingly between the ears. “There, there,” she said.It was to the sound of inappropriate giggles that we moved onto the final floors of this strange, dead dungeon.
Chapter Two Hundred — Stronghold Stranglehold
Chapter Two Hundred — Stronghold Stranglehold The seventh floor was another city section. Or maybe calling it a ruin section would have been more accurate.The streets were riddled with bumps, stems poking out from between the cobbles—the homes had huge roots climbing up and through them, some as big around as I was.We had to climb up the rubble of one building that had just collapsed under the weight from all the vines grasping onto it. “This place looks worse than the earlier floors,” I noted as I felt around for a place to set my feet to climb a bit higher.Amaryllis nodded. “It definitely is. These roots, they’re destroying the entire dungeon.”I looked ahead to where Momma and the others were climbing down the mountain of rubble and back onto the street. Momma still seemed confident that she could do something about the roots. I hoped she was right.This expedition into the dungeon was fun, but... well, I was starting to miss home. The Beaver, that was. It had been a while since I’d talked to Steve and Gordon and Clive. There was still so much to learn about them! And the Scallywags, Joe and Oda and Sally... were they out having fun with the buns in Hopsalot?“Broc?” I looked up and found Awen looking at me, a bit concerned. “Are you okay?”“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired, I guess. It’s been a bit of a long day already.”“It’s night now,” Amaryllis said.I blinked and looked to the sky, which was still bright and blue. As bright and blue as when we’d entered. “Oh, right. It’s hard to keep track of the weird rules of a place like this,” I said.“This one isn’t so bad,” Amaryllis said. “There’s one dungeon near Farseeing where gravity is only half as strong as it is everywhere else.”Bastion hummed. “There’s one in Sylphfree that’s the opposite. Everything weighs twice as much within it. Did some training there once. It was bizarre, but great for training up your musculature.”“Neat,” I said. “The always-day thing is throwing me off, I guess. Does anyone have a clock?”I was surprised to see Awen reach into a pocket and pull out a timepiece. “It’s nine and a bit,” she said.That explained it. I was always more of an early-to-bed-early-to-rise kind of girl. “Oh well. Three more floors!”The buns ahead slowed down a bit, and soon we’d caught up with them. Peter pointed down a road where I could hear a faint clop-clopping noise. “A dead knight,” he said.I squinted in that direction and was soon able to make out something large moving out of the dark. It was a man atop a horse, both of them skeletal and thin. The man was obviously some sort of undead, with some plate armour and a long lance by his side. A long tassel hung by the end of the spear, a bright piece of red cloth that stood out against the otherwise grey cityscape. The horse, also a skeleton, had some thick barding on over its remaining skin.I’d never fought something like that before. “How do we take it down?” I asked.“Usually they’d be running around all over,” Carrot said. “But the streets aren’t in any shape for that anymore. We wait for it to get close, someone distracts it on one side, then we take it out. Easy as warm pie.”Peter and Carrot showed us how things were done, Carrot bouncing ahead and calling out mean things to the dead knight until it spurred its horse and tried to pin her with his lance. When it was distracted, Peter jumped onto the back of the horse and smacked the knight’s head off its shoulder.The horse went down when Carrot approached and smacked it in the forehead.“See!” she called back. “Easy!”“Hmph,” Amaryllis huffed. “Easy, but that thing was level fourteen.”“It seems to favour mobility over anything else,” Bastion said. “They’re right, in this landscape we have quite the advantage. Fighting these should be fairly easy. Just like taking out a smaller cervid but with an extra head, I suppose.”I blinked. Right, the sylph were right next to the cervid. I supposed it was normal that Bastion had trained to fight them. “Do the sylph ride horses?” I asked.“We can fly,” was his reply. “Not very well, admittedly. Though I wouldn’t tell that to just any sylph. We’re no birds, but we can stay aloft and move with some speed in the air.” He hopped up and beat his wings, which kept him hovering above us for a moment before he started to dip back down. “I don’t think we have any horses. We do have flying mounts.”“Oh, that sounds cool,” I said.He chuckled. “When we arrive, I’ll see if some of the air-guard are willing to take you for a ride. You might be a bit heavy for it though.”I blinked. I wasn’t exactly chubby or anything. Eating hardtack and walking and fighting as much as we did for the past couple of weeks had done a number on any love handles I might have had. “Darn,” I said. “Well, whatever, let’s keep going?”We soon got to fight our first dead knight all on our own. Momma insisted that we try to take it out as a team, since it would be a good learning experience. Bastion held back, so it was up to Awen and Amaryllis and I to take the undead out.It was a bit tricky. The knight’s lance was always moving and poking at whomever came too close, creating a sort of wall that made it hard to approach. The horse was able to move fast too, especially if we were caught ahead of it. I could see why it was such a high-leveled opponent as I rolled out of its path.Amaryllis’ lightning didn’t do too much to it. It didn’t have nerves to fry or anything, and it seemed to be somewhat magically resistant when I flung a Clean-ball at it.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.In the end, it was Awen that took it out with a lucky shot to the neck.We traded high-fives once the undead turned to dust, and Momma patted our heads before we moved on.“We need to collect these,” Peter said as he tugged a piece of deep purple cloth from the ground. It was the tassel that had been on the end of the knight’s lance. “You need seven of these to open the door at the end.”“So, five more fights like that?” Amaryllis asked.“No,” Peter said. “The colours repeat. You might end up with ten reds and only one blue tassel.”I grimaced. “RNG mechanics,” I said.“What’s that?” Awen asked.I shook my head. “Something nasty,” I said. “Should we get to the door, then we can head out in teams or alone for those of us that are strong enough? Like we did in that forest, maybe?”Momma considered it, then agreed. “That’s not a terrible idea. We’ll see once we get to the next barrier."As it turned out, it didn’t matter how good the idea was.“Um,” Carrot said. She tilted her head to the side, ears drooping down. “Whelp, so much for that.”Ahead of us, the wall leading into the next floor was... not gone. It was still quite obviously there. The problem was that a bus-sized root had rammed its way through the wall and plunged down into the ground. More roots, these more reasonably-sized, though still huge, were dug poking out from around that and heading into the ruins of the city behind us.All of these roots had combined to completely destabilize the wall, and a great mass of stonework had slumped to the ground, leaving a broad gap in the wall.“Should we move on?” Buster asked.There would be more than enough room for all of us to pass.The gate to the side had a weird mechanism next to it, with coloured bars with attachment points and loops on them arranged into the brickwork to the side. Obviously, that was the floor puzzle, but... well, the way was open already.“I suppose speed is our priority,” Momma said. “Peter, scout out ahead, please?”Peter nodded once and dove over to the other side. We waited with growing tension until the bun stuck his head back around the wall. “It’s clear,” he said. “Nearly impassable, but clear.”With the buns in the lead, we funneled into the next floor.I almost gasped when I took it in.If the seventh floor was a city in ruins, then this floor looked like one that had been at war, and lost. Most of the homes were crumbling heaps, with some walls still standing here and there, but few more than a meter or so tall. The streets were barely visible under displaced rubble, and the air stank of dust and mold and rot.There were roots everywhere. That huge one, the one that burst through the wall, was crossing the entire floor. A wall of moldy green that sent out shoots in every direction, most of those crushing the homes around them.Little off-shot roots, no bigger than an arm, were crawling up over everything, like fingers grasping for the last crumbs in the bottom of a cookie jar.Carrot pressed her hand flat on her forehead and squinted ahead. “We can see the castle from here,” she said. “Looks like it’s in a rough state too.”I followed her gaze across the ruins and towards the walls at the far end. Or what remained of the walls. There were even more roots there. Beyond that, and towering above, was a castle. Not a pretty, movie-worthy castle, but a big square blocky firtress with palisades and a flat roof. It was a very bunker-like building. Slitted windows and spikes on the roof gave the impression of something that wasn’t supposed to be messed with.“That’s the last floor?” I asked.“Yup. The boss is in there,” Carrot said.“So is the dungeon’s core,” Momma said. “It looks like it’s barely standing.”She was right. Roots and branches were poking out from the thin windows, and it looked as though there were cracks in the stonework, big enough that I could see them from where we stood.“Should we move in?” Carrot asked.Momma agreed, but had us all get ready for a fight first. The buns seemed to take the warning seriously, so I made sure I had my spade in hand and that my ears were ready to twitch towards any noise.We moved into the ruins, our group staying close together. It didn’t take long to find a dread knight.The horse-riding undead was covered from hoof to head in heavy plate, all black and rusty and menacing with spikes. Both the rider and horse’s eyes glowed red from within armoured helmets, and they looked quite formidable.They would have been scary to fight if they weren’t covered in roots, some of them slipping into their armour and locking them in place.“These roots are ruining the dungeon,” Peter said.“You’re just noticing that now?” Carrot asked.“I meant in the sense that the dungeon can’t fight back against them. It’s crippled.”Momma raised her head and sniffed. “The mana is... disquieting.”I shifted my shoulder and tried to sense what she did, but I couldn’t feel anything. A glance to Amaryllis revealed that she was just as befuddled as I was.“What do you mean?” I asked.“I mean that whatever that Evil Root is doing, it’s changing the quality of the mana in the air. Dungeons have always nurtured the world around them. They are Dirt’s way of venting life-giving energy to feed us all. This place, it’s still doing that, but poorly.” Momma frowned. “This is growing increasingly worrisome.”With those words uttered, we continued our trek towards the final floor, and where we were meant to find the final boss, and maybe the source of all these Evil Roots.
* * *
Stray Bun Art Contest!
Welcome, one and all, to the Stray Bun Art Contest!Let’s start with the fun part!The winners of this contest will receive the following:First Place:
A signed copy of Stray Cat Strut, Volume One
A can of award winning, Blair’s maple syrup. This is the syrup that won the World Champion, Reserve Grand Champion, and Millenium Champion titles. (It’s the good stuff)
Three months of Royal Road Premium
Second Place:
A signed copy of Stray Cat Strut, Volume One
One month of Royal Road Premium
Third Place:
A signed copy of Stray Cat Strut, Volume One
One month of Royal Road Premium
This contest will run from Today (May 10th), to the 10th of June!How do you participate?Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.Send your incredible artwork to me via PM on Royal Road. Please use a linkable site like Imgur to post your image.On the 10th, all the artwork will be unveiled to my patrons who will be able to vote on the pieces they like the most, with yours truly acting as a tie-breaker.(Of note: you retain rights over your own art, I have no intention of using any of it for advertising, though the artwork will be posted for the world to see!)A few small rules:
No lewds or overly suggestive images of underaged characters. Keep it PG13. Kissing and hugging and cuddles are fine, but... keep in mind that Broccoli and friends are all still teens. Cat and Lucy... aren’t.
No limit on the number of artworks you can submit, but only one prize per person. I know some of you are insanely talented and could probably take all three places.
By entering you consent to having your art posted on Royal Road, Space Battles and ScribbleHub for display.
If you do win, then I’ll contact you and ask for a P.O. Box or mailing address to send the book/syrup to. (I regularly send signed copies to Europe and Asia and North America, so I don’t foresee any difficulties in reaching most participants, but if there is an issue with postage, we’ll figure it out!)
Super low-effort posts, or those wildly off-topic, will be ignored. Good memes will be shared on my Discord.
Winners will be determined by the 15th of June!
Keep warm! And may the bun be with you!
Chapter Two Hundred and One — Grassroots Campaign
Chapter Two Hundred and One — Grassroots Campaign The final floor was eerily quiet.The other floors of the Newbinnings dungeon weren’t exactly loud, but there was always some noise. Wind rattling against shutters and whispering through patches of grass, water dripping and gurgling. No bird-song or people talking, but it felt as if there was still some life around.This place wasn’t like that. Every shuffle and step echoed, even though from the moment we crossed the wall leading into this floor, we were beneath the open sky, a sky that was looking a bit wrong. The colour was off and the clouds above were moving back and forth slowly.“What’s the final boss like?” Amaryllis asked.We were on a path, cobbled stones leading to the flat, squarish castle that signalled the end of the floor. The huge building rose a good four storeys above, or maybe a little more. It wasn’t a house with windows all over or anything like that. Instead, it was an imposing wall of stone with thin slits here and there and spiky protrusions along the roof. The huge roots coiling around it like a grasping snake, all of them bristling with foot-long spikes, only made the silent castle more imposing.“The final boss, the Dreaded Dead King, is a big ol’ undead,” Carrot said. “He’s like this giant skeleton thing, with armour and a crown, that’s sitting on this throne. Glow-y eyes, so you know he’s tough.”I nodded as I listened. Glowy eyes were a sure-fire way of knowing that something was dangerous. I remembered that lesson well from watching cartoons.“What’s the trick with him?” Amaryllis asked.“There isn’t one, really,” Carrot said. “He has a sword and shield and will fight pretty hard. He’s strong, fast, and can take a few good blows. I think he’s level fifteen?”“Yes,” Buster said. “Around there.”“Yeah. Just a pretty tough fight. No magic or any tricks. A couple of sword skills for slashing and such.”Momma hummed. “Perhaps the little ones here should sit back for this one. Pepper the king from range when they can, but otherwise stay out of the fight.”Buster nodded. “I’ll guard them,” he said.We reached the castle gate and paused before it. The doorway was made of thick old wood, with an iron grating before it. It would have been hard to break through, had some roots not beaten us to it to slither out between the cracks, leaving splintered planks on the ground and rent iron poking out every which way.“Man, these roots are mean,” Carrot said.Buster grabbed one of the doors and tugged, gritting his teeth as he grunted. The door rumbled as it moved aside a bit, leaving an opening just wide enough for Carrot to poke her head in. “Looks clear,” she said.We moved in a moment or two later, a single-file that formed up in the castle’s lobby. For all that the outside was undecorated and rough, the interior was quite a bit nicer, with pretty chandeliers and what had once been nice rugs across the floor. I could imagine it being real nice, if the air wasn’t so stale and lifeless.“That corrupted mana is stronger here,” Momma said. “I can almost taste it.”“I think I feel it,” Amaryllis said. “It’s... ah, I’m not entirely sure how to describe it. It’s not a lack of mana, I’ve been to places where there wasn’t much, this isn’t that.”I sniffed. “It smells like someone farted ten minutes ago, and you know they did, but you can’t smell it anymore.”Amaryllis stared at me. “What in the world does that even mean? You’re not just an idiot, you’re a disgusting one.”“Hey!” I protested while Awen held back a giggle and Carrot didn’t bother.“She’s right though,” Carrot said. “It does kinda smell like that... or doesn’t smell that way? Uh.”“Children,” Momma said. “Let’s keep moving, shall we?”“Gladly,” Peter muttered as he forged ahead.Carrot giggled and pointed to his back while pitching her voice into a low whisper. “He’s the type to stealth fart like that,” she said.Peter’s ears twitched. “I heard that!”The lobby gave way to a large, cavernous room. Banners hung to the side, along with lanterns which burned bright and strong, like they had in the mausoleum.Well, some of them were like the mausoleum, anyway. Others looked like they'd been tipped over by the many roots rising around the room.At the far end, sitting with one leg splayed out, was a skeleton as tall as two Broccolis encased in thick golden plate. His skull was uncovered, revealing a crown almost welded into the top of his head. Next to the skeletal king was a rack with a sword on it as long as I was tall.He looked strong, and he also looked very dead.I blinked. I meant double-dead. More dead than skeletons usually were.Roots, no bigger than fingers, had crawled all across the huge stone throne he sat upon, each one eventually reaching the final boss and grasping around his armoured form. Roots dipped into holes of his skull and slithered around down into the cavity of his chest.His eyes didn’t glow, and in the faint light of the lanterns along the room, I could make out a swirl of dust in the air slowly drifting down upon the king’s form.“He’s dead,” Carrot said.Peter nodded. “Usually he would stand on us entering. Nothing here though. Inspect isn’t giving me a level.”“Well, that’s a bummer,” Carrot said. “I like this fight. It gets the blood pumping.”I shuffled a bit. “What do we do now?” I asked. “Don’t you need to fight and beat the last boss to move on?”Momma frowned ahead at the dead undead, and the other buns looked around. It was Bastion that answered. “We follow the roots then,” he said. “Get to the source of them, and try to see what has caused all of this.”Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.That plan sounded as good as any other. We grouped up and started to move deeper into the room. “The dungeon usually has a corridor that opens up behind the throne,” Carrot said. She pointed ahead. “That.”There was a corridor at the back. One that had a root the size of a double-decker bus jammed out of it. The walls around the passage were cracked and straining. There was no way we’d be passing by there.More concerning were the offshoots of the root near there. “Are those seeds?” I asked.There were little sprouts poking out of the root, each one ending at a big bulb. It was plump and swollen, like a watermelon that someone had injected full of air with a bicycle pump. Dark veins ran across the surface and I had the impression that they... stank?“Those are disgusting,” Momma declared. “The mana around them is putrid.”Bastion slid his hand over to his sword’s hilt and glared at the nearest seed. “Are they twitching?” he asked.“Don’t touch them,” Momma said. “I hope I wouldn’t have to tell any of you, but I’ve raised enough little ones to know better than to assume that common sense would be the first thing on anyone’s mind. Buster, Peter, do you think we can cut into that root?” She pointed to the large root blocking the path. “We need to make it to the dungeon’s core.”Buster grunted his agreement and moved over to the root. He touched it, flat of his palm against the greenish side, then he poked it a few times. “This is hard,” he said. “Wish I’d brought an axe for this.” Stepping back, the big bun raised his war hammer, then roared as he swung it around.The head glowed, and when it hit, it did so like a freight-train going off its rails.I flinched back as the root shuddered and twitched. A crater was smashed into its side, where his hammer had become embedded in a ruin of fibrous chunks that wept a pus-like fluid.“Not bad,” he said as he pulled his hammer back for another swing.I expected something terrible to happen, for the roots to respond, so I wasn’t entirely surprised with one of the seeds dropped off its stem and splattered on the floor.“Buster, keep working,” Momma said. “The rest of you, form a circle around him.”“Trouble?” Amaryllis asked.“Of course,” Momma said.The seed wiggled and burst apart, revealing... some weird plant-monster thing. It was all roots and leaves, some with big spikes on them, others sleeker. It stank, for real this time, like walking into a truck-stop bathroom an hour after lunchtime.The root monster wiggled a bit, then started pulling itself in our direction.“Its mana is wrong,” Momma said. “And...” She gestured to the side with a flick of her hand, and a ball of some sort of magic was flung out and curved around the far end of the room.The monster’s grasping roots wriggled that way, but the magic was too far for it to reach.“Magic-seeking?” Amaryllis asked.“I suspect so,” Momma said. “Which is a problem.”“Why’s that?” I asked.“It’s exuding disgusting mana, and it’s attracted to mana. We have mana in us. Imagine if we start to passively take in the mana from that thing.” Momma looked quite disgusted with it all. “Peter, kill it. Stamina-abilities only.”Peter nodded once, then flicked out a knife so fast it whistled through the air.When it hit the root monster, the whole thing was flung back as though the knife were a tank shell, greenish sap flying everywhere. Peter tugged a thin wire out of the air and his knife snapped back to his hand. He inspected the monster juice on it with a sniff. “Not poisonous,” he said.“It doesn’t need to be a poison to harm you,” Momma said. She touched the flat of the knife with a swipe and rubbed the juice between forefinger and thumb. “It’s corrupting, but very weak. I think we should be fine entering a melee.”“Wonderful,” Amaryllis deadpanned. “I love getting my talons dirty.”More seeds started to drop to the tone of Buster’s hammer crashing into the root. The tendril wasn’t taking kindly to Buster’s hits, and was falling apart where he hit it. It didn’t look like it would take him all that long to carve off a hefty chunk of it, but that time would be busy.An Evil Seedling, Level One, searching for a meal.“Those don’t look too strong,” I said.“Perhaps not,” Bastion said. “But take their environment into account. They’re in a dungeon that’s presumably under their control, or the control of the root that made them. I can imagine them killing some of the local monsters and using that to level rapidly. By the time a swarm of them make it out of this dungeon, they might well be past their first evolution.”“And then they seek out the next dungeon, the next powerful source of magic that isn’t tainted,” Momma continued.“We saw Evil Roots all the way over near Mattergrove,” Amaryllis said. “A smaller infestation than this. I don’t believe these things could have made it that far. The timing doesn’t make sense.”“We can consider the possibilities later,” Momma said. She stepped up to a root monster and punted it hard across the room, where it splattered on the far wall.We kept our formation, smacking and stabbing and once thumping with a spade, any monster that came close. Peter jumped to the far end of the room and killed any that tried to escape, then he and Carrot moved around, destroying the seeds.I expected... more of a defence than what we saw here, to be honest. More of a climactic fight against overwhelming roots. I wasn’t going to dismiss some good luck though.“I’m through!” Buster shouted.I looked over my shoulder to see a huge, gaping hole thumped into the side of the root, big gouges missing from it.“Well then,” Momma said. “Let’s go see this core, and the source of this root.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Two — Heart of Darkness
Chapter Two Hundred and Two — Heart of Darkness Squeezing into the hole that Buster had created was a bit hard. We had to go in one at a time, with Carrot leading the charge, and Peter coming in last.I had wondered why we didn’t just break through the walls, but it seemed as though they were literally feet thick and entirely made of stone. It made sense, for a castle. Not that I knew much about castles and the like.We found a long, narrow corridor on the other side, one mostly taken up by the root, but it still had enough room on the sides for us to walk, though not shoulder-to-shoulder.“Carrot, I haven’t seen this core before, where is it?” Momma asked.Carrot pointed out ahead. “Down there. There’s a sort of round room, and on one side there’s the core room, and on the other’s this door that has a portal out of the dungeon.”Momma nodded. “Very well, lead ahead Carrot. Little ones, stay in the centre. Buster, the rear.”Our formation mostly set, we took off down the corridor. I sniffed at the air. Part of it smelled like dirt and grass, as if... well, as if someone had just unrooted a few plants, then scattered the fresh dirt around. It wasn’t a bad smell. Under that though, so faint that I had a hard time sniffing it out, was that tangy, wrong smell that I was coming to associate with the mana Momma kept mentioning.The root pulsed, and all of us paused, breaths held as we waited for something to happen.“I think we should consider moving faster,” Momma said. “Avoid touching the root, keep your magic to yourself.”We picked up the pace, but there wasn’t exactly room to start running outright, not when the passage twisted and turned, constricting us through narrow gaps overgrown with roots and plate-like leaves. It was cramped enough to give a bun claustrophobia.Finally, we reached an opening and stumbled into a large circular room. It had vaulted ceilings, with nine arches reaching up to the middle where a big chandelier hung. Between each arch was a huge painting, a fresco for each of the nine floors of the dungeon. The entrance, the mausoleum, the foggy forest, they were all represented.The centre of the room was cut in half by the root, with smaller ones racing around the room and curling up around the pillars on the side and climbing up towards the paintings above. There were more seeds here, some of them bigger than those we’d seen in the boss room.“Peter, destroy the seeds,” Momma ordered.While Peter jumped to it, she turned to the rest of us.“I can feel the core from here. Could you all wait here for a moment? I will go and inspect it with Carrot.”Quest Updated!Trim the Cruel!You have reached the core, and the centre of this Evil Root! Destroy one, or both.“I’m coming with you,” I said.Momma hesitated, then shook her head. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”I shook my head right back. “I’m coming,” I said.“Cores are dangerous,” she said.“I know,” I said. “But I have to see it. I... I want to see what you do. If you can save this one, then maybe we can do what you did and save others. And if you have to destroy it, then I think we should all know about it.”Bastion’s head whipped around to look at me, but he didn’t say anything.“No, Broccoli,” Momma said.I pouted. “Gosh, I wish I could get Miss Menu to share this with all of you,” I said. “It would make things easier.”“Share what?” Carrot asked. “And, uh, who’s Miss Menu?”“That’s what Broccoli calls the World’s call to action,” Amaryllis said. “Did your quest for this dungeon change?”“Yeah,” I said.“Pardon me,” Bastion said. “But you have a quest. And you didn’t inform us?”I blinked. “I mean, we were heading here anyway,” I said.“Even if that’s the case...” Bastion sighed. “We would likely have done a lot more to guard you had we known. The protocols... not that you would care, of course.” His brow pinched and I had the impression he was fighting off something of a headache.I really did feel bad for him. “I care,” I said. “What protocols?”Amaryllis was the one to answer. “The World doesn’t just give out quests like a priest handing out alms. Most won’t ever receive one. In fact, most will never meet someone who has had a quest. They appear, at times, to those in the right places and the right times. Never when it comes to political matters, but to prevent disaster and destroy creatures that are harming the world... well, if you’re near such an event, you might receive a quest.”“It’s protocol in Sylphfree that anyone who receives a quest has it verified by those in authority, and once that’s done, they are assisted as best they can be,” Bastion said. “One doesn’t just ignore the will of the World.”I shrugged. “I don’t know, the World can be pretty nagging sometimes. I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t ignore it.”Bastion looked a little exasperated. “No, no, it wouldn’t do to ignore that,” he said.“Never got a quest before,” Carrot said. “What’s that like?”“Uh,” I said. “Not much? Just kinda pops up sometimes. Hasn’t really changed anything. No real rewards either.”“I would still rather have you stay,” Momma said. “But if you insist. The rest of you, could you form a cordon? If things go wrong, it would be best if everybun here were ready to act.”I skipped over to Momma and Carrot, following them towards the back of the room and to a small corridor splitting off to the side. That’s also where the root went, though for some reason it wasn’t blocking the whole path again.“It’s ‘cause that’s against the rules,” Carrot said.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.“Huh?”“You were looking at the root with a puzzled expression,” she said. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure that you were asking yourself about the passage and why it isn’t blocked. It’s because dungeons don’t like it when you change them up. Adding walls and blocking paths.”“But the one over in the boss room was blocked,” I said.Carrot nodded. “Yep, it sure was.”I didn’t quite understand, but maybe it didn’t matter. I had a whole bunch more things worrying me. “Momma? How are you going to get rid of the root?”Momma didn’t answer for a while. “I don’t know,” she said. “I have some talent with magic, but I’m beginning to fear that this may be beyond me. I’ve always found that there is one method that always works with weeds. I just hope it works here too.”I swallowed. Momma sounded... resigned but determined. It was actually a little scary. “We can break the core,” I said. “I’ve... the World told me to do that before, for another infection, and we can do it here too.”Carrot winced, but Momma didn’t seem to so much as flinch. “If we must,” she said. “I’ll take the burden.”“Momma!” Carrot said. “You can’t.”“Huh?” I asked.Momma smiled down at me and patted my helmeted head. “To the people of Dirt, there is no sin greater than the one we are considering now. The reward for that sin is a beacon of temptation upon your head. The punishment is, inevitably, death.”“But, you're the boss of Hopsalot, can’t you-” I began.Momma laughed. “They wouldn’t kill me. Silly little bun. No no, they would exile me, perhaps, or maybe nothing would come of it. I’m quite old already, you know, set in my ways. Hopsalot’s council of elders... why, I’ve raised a number of them. I’d like to see them try to meddle in my affairs.” She harrumphed. “But no, it would only cause me a lot of trouble, and perhaps I’d have some suspicions cast upon me for some time, but that’s all.”“Suspicions?” I repeated.“That’s ‘cause everyone thinks that someone that broke a core has to be some sort of evil person, a big old plotting villain,” Carrot said.Oh no! Had that quest made me take a step onto the path of villainy? I didn’t want to be a villain. I wouldn’t look good in spandex. I shook my head and cast aside the silly thought. “That’s dumb,” I declared.Carrot laughed. “Lots of things are.”“Focus, buns,” Momma said. We were at the core’s entrance.Each core room I’d seen was different, and yet they all followed the same principles. A small-ish room, with some space set out in the centre.This one had walls of the same stone as the castle and the walls that separated each floor, with some nice pillars to the side holding up a domed roof. In the centre, on a plush bed atop a meter-tall pillar, was a faintly glowing ball.The dungeon core wasn’t alone, of course. All around it, grasping onto the walls and pillars, and with dozens of tendrils all around the core, was the root.“It’s everywhere,” I said as I looked in. The floors, the ceiling, they all have a thick mat of roots, with little sprouts sticking out of them that had sharp little leaves. The leaves were all twisted so that their flat side was towards the core, like sunflowers chasing the sun.“It is,” Momma agreed.She stepped in and took a deep breath. “There’s magic here, lots of it, but less than what you’d expect from a dungeon core room, especially one from a dungeon as large as this one.”I followed after her tingles racing across my body. “Yeah,” I said. My mana was filling up fast, I knew. I’d need to vent it soon, but then, there might be a good reason for that soon.Momma found one piece of the root that wasn’t connected to the rest and yanked it up. Her arm came down, edge-first, and chopped into it with a dull thwap. “Strong,” she said.“I was never able to hurt a root,” I said. “I was surprised when Buster managed. Maybe I can try Cleaning them?”“Hmm. Perhaps we’ll consider our options first?” Momma asked. She leaned up to the root and inspected it from much closer. “It’s mana-heavy. No, that’s not expressive enough to describe this. We’re taking in dozens of points of mana every minute here. This root has been taking more, and for... perhaps weeks. Most beings would combust, their will would twist and the magic, as volatile as it can be, would act out that will.”“Like, thinking of fire, then making some without trying?” I asked.“Something like that. The more mana you have, the easier it is to cast a spell. Now imagine having thousands upon thousands of points, then thinking about a fireball. It would practically cast itself, though, without the form and refinement of a skill or a spell, it would just be will pushed into volatile mana. It’s why it’s unwise to remain in a core’s room.”“I see,” I said. That did sound awful.“We should step out, before we absorb too much mana,” Momma said.The three of us gathered just outside the door, and Momma crossed her arms. “Ideas?”“Could we starve it?” Carrot asked. “Use up all the mana?”“All the mana a dungeon core produces? I... that’s possible, but plants don’t die instantly when starved of water. I doubt this root would merely wither away. The amount of mana to be moved too, is incredible, and it would just be going into this chamber.” Momma gestured to the roots. “Unless there’s a way to eject it out of the dungeon, I can’t see it being feasible.”“What about herbicide?” I asked.“I don’t think we have anything strong enough,” Momma said.I nodded, “Yeah, but what about like... mana that the root doesn’t like? We feed it a bunch of anti-plant-aspect mana.”Momma looked between me and the core room. “Well, it’s worth trying.”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Three — Do Science To It
Chapter Two Hundred and Three — Do Science To It Momma was a very humble sort of bun. She didn’t mind at all when I suggested that we tell the others of our plan, if we could call what we had in mind a plan.My reasoning for wanting to share was simple. The others knew more about magic and such than I did, by a whole lot. Amaryllis had a proper education, and Awen was clever, and Bastion probably saw all sorts of things as a paladin.“So,” I said. “Our plan is real simple. We’ll grab the root, and feed it full of mana that it doesn’t like, then see what happens. Hopefully, we can weaken it enough to get it off the core, or maybe chop it apart.”“Do you think that will remove the infection entirely?” Amaryllis asked.I shifted from foot to foot. “I don’t know. It’s hard to tell where the root starts, exactly. I don’t remember seeing a starting place for it in any of the dungeons I saw with Evil Roots, and this one is all over the place in there, it’ll be hard to see where it originates.”“I don’t think that would work on a plant,” Bastion said. “Now, keep in mind that I’m no expert when it comes to gardening or horticulture, but I have spent some time in the royal gardens. I’ve seen gardeners prune roots apart and the plants were entirely fine afterwards. Would trimming these roots do anything but slow them down?”I crossed my arms and frowned really hard in thought. “I really, really don’t know. I think that this is the kind of thing that will be really hard to remove. Maybe it’ll mean spending a long time working on it too.”“Taking the roots away, bit by bit, every day,” Carrot said. “Until it gives up and dies for good.”“Or until the thing we do to weaken it finally starts acting like a sort of poison,” I said. “Plants sometimes need really specific kinds of earth and dirt to live. Though, I guess weeds are different. Ah, I wish Oak were here, he’d be good with this. Bet he knows a bunch about plants.”“Well, he isn’t,” Amaryllis said. “And I for one suspect that we don’t have all that much time to lose with this.”I nodded along. We couldn’t leave and just return, not when reaching this floor took hours and leaving would likely take a while too. “Well, we call this plan A, and give it our all.”“And if it doesn’t succeed?” Bastion asked.“Then we do as the World wants and break the core,” I said.He winced, but there was nothing to it.We moved closer to the core room, but paused before entering. “What kind of magic will we be trying?” I asked.Momma hummed. “When did you gain your Cleaning aspect magic?” she asked.“Uh,” I said. “Just after getting my first quest,” I said.“I suspected as much. In that case, perhaps we’ll use that to begin with.”“It’s nearly at rank up,” I said. “Then I’ll have Cleaning at Rank S. That’s, um, Master Rank. I think that it might get stronger at that point.”“Master Rank Cleaning,” Momma repeated. “Well, that’ll be a first.”“Hey, it’s a really versatile spell,” I defended.The bun nodded and patted me on the head. “I’m certain it is,” she said over the sound of Amaryllis cackling. “Now, let’s go see about those roots.”We slipped into the core room again, trampling on the uneven roots across the ground. It was just me and Momma this time, the others waiting by the exit, and keeping fairly close to the portal leading back to the surface.I went around the root, looking for a good place to start while I felt the mana in my body start to tingle. I found a bit of root sticking out from the rest. Just a handspan, but enough to grab onto.My eyes narrowed, my feet set. I took a deep breath and pushed as much Cleaning magic as I could into the root, all the magic I was absorbing from the core and more. Nothing happened at first, but, like poking a finger into a tub of hardened grease, I broke through and the edges of the root started to fray and break apart, turning into dust the way that all grime and yuckiness did when my Cleaning magic got it.“It’s... working!” I said through clenched teeth.After a moment, I stopped and pulled my hand free. The little stub looked as if a dozen caterpillars had been gnawing at it for an hour, dimples and bits missing all along its form. I looked at my work, then at all the roots around us.“You’re having an effect, at least,” Momma said. “Come here, I’ll give you a hug.”A reward hug? Well, I hadn’t said no to hugs before.I spread my arms out into the optimal hugging position and laughed when Momma engulfed me with both arms. She was very strong, and warm, and obviously knew what she was doing when it came to hugging.You Have Received a Hug from a Fearsome Mother! Your Power Increases!“Oh! A Buff!” I cheered.“Indeed. Just a little one, but useful all the same. I tend to avoid giving those to just anybun, they tend to make one overconfident at times.”I nodded. “I have teas that give bonuses too. But none that’ll help here, I don’t think.”“Unfortunate. Do any of your companions have skills like that?”“Not that I know of. Bastion might, maybe, but I think he would have used them already if that was the case.”Momma nodded. “Well, try now, we’ll see how it goes.”I nodded and found another bit of root. I would have used the first, but I needed to be able to compare the differences pre and post hug.Biting the tip of my tongue, I gripped on hard to the root, then shoved mana into it as hard as I could. I felt a vein on the side of my temple throb and my hand shook, but mana, lots and lots of mana, came pouring out of me and attacked the root.The difference wasn’t huge, but it was there, the root started to wither, not like a plant that was dying, but as if someone was sucking all the life out of it from the inside. Little bubbles appeared along its green length, and they popped and bust apart with little puffs. The root started to turn to dust even faster after that.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Cleaning skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank S costs Five Cinnamon Bun Bun Class Skill Points!“Yes!” I shouted.“Oh?” Momma asked.“My Cleaning went up,” I said.CleaningRank S — 00%You have mastered cleanliness. Dirtiness fears you, grime shudders at your approach. You have taken the first step onto the Path. Cleanliness is next to godliness.“Whoa,” I said.“So?” Momma had a knowing little smile, like someone who knew something but wanted you to tell them the good news yourself.“It’s, um, not very detailed about what this does. Like, as my skill gets better, I always get new things, but this is more vague than usual. Still, it sounds good.”“Master Rank is often like that. Give it a try.”I took a deep breath and grabbed onto a root, then I closed my eyes. The first bit of Cleaning magic came out, and I stopped right away.It was... not wrong, but definitely different. My magic had always come out as a sort of flow, a weird sensation that reminded me a little bit of having blood drawn for a test. It tingled and made me feel a bit empty, but it wasn’t painful.Now my Cleaning magic felt more like someone had turned my veins into a pressure washer. It was a lot, a lot and hard.I grit my teeth and focused a little more, then fired just a burst of Cleaning magic into the root I held.The mana came out of me, spun around like the writhing tentacles of an octopus trying to hug an electric fence, then stabbed into the root from all sides. The magic then spread out, poking at the weakest, least dirty parts first, then racing in and suffusing the root’s length with Cleaning magic that practically blasted the root to dust. Then even that dust faded, leaving the air smelling pine-fresh for a moment.“Whoa,” I repeated as I looked at my empty hands. My palms felt as if I’d just scrubbed them clean. It wasn’t painful, exactly, but it was harsh.“That seems to have worked,” Momma said. “How’s the accuracy?”I licked my lips and fired a ball of Cleaning magic across the room. It zipped into a root-covered wall and managed to break a little divot on some of the roots. “It’s not bad,” I said.“Well then,” Momma said. “Start with a circle around the pedestal, we’ll free the core first. I suspect that the core will want to fight back, if only a little.”“Alright!” I said.I got to work, walking slowly around the core and grabbing all the little roots I could and breaking them up with bursts of Cleaning magic. The bigger one needed some more time, with me basically grabbing them as if I wanted to choke them with my bare hands, and pushing mana into them.Momma left to go waste her mana, and left me with Carrot as I worked, when she returned it was with a big smile on. “I think it’s working,” she said.“Oh?” I asked as I rubbed the back of my hand across my brow. I was working up a sweat.“The roots on the exterior are looking a little parched. I suspect that the current root system is as big as it can be.”“How’s that?”“Trees will only grow according to the amount of water they have available. Starve them, and their growth will stall. Likewise, a little bun will only grow to be as good as a bun can be if there is enough love and attention and care around them. I think that this Evil Root’s growth might have been slowing down. It grew too fat off the mana of this core and can’t sustain any additional growth. Perhaps its next step would be to grow into something else, but I hope we don’t need to see that.”“I think I get it,” I said. “And now we’re cutting it off.”“So we are,” Momma agreed.I got back to work, pushing myself twice as hard now that we knew it was working. I could hear my friends talking outside, but I had to focus on my hands and on my magic if I wanted things to work out.Momma might have been right about the root. The little leaves on the roots around me twitched and it felt almost as if they were growing bigger.I let out a bit of my Cleaning aura, making sure not to send it towards the core, and let the roots chew on that for a bit.The leaves shrivelled, like someone taking a bite of something and realizing it was super sour.My circle ended soon enough, and all the roots clinging onto the core itself were now loose. I stood up, grinning, and moved to the wall nearest the edge of the room. A hand pressing against the roots there, I pushed out more magic and started to walk in a long circle around the room. Seeing all the mean roots curl up and flake away was wonderful.“Nice work,” Momma said. “Buster, little ones, could you help us? We’ll be pulling these remains out. Drop them outside. Carrot, you try to burn them. No magic in the core room, and certainly no hitting or touching the core.”Once I’d completed a circle of the room, my friends taking the cut-off bits of root with them and leaving those too entwined behind for later, I started to look at the ceiling. I didn’t know where the roots came from, exactly, but it had to be close.I used Cleaning magic like a flame-thrower, flooding the roots with it until they died and flopped to the ground.And then, just as we started to clear up the very last of them...Quest Completed!Trim the Cruel!The Core is saved!I blinked at Miss Menu... was that it?Of course, that’s when Awen started screaming.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Four — Immune System
Chapter Two Hundred and Four — Immune System I stumbled out of the coreroom, and then almost instantly started to feel dizzy. It was Peter of all buns that helped me by appearing by my side and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “What’s going on?” I asked.The corridor leading into the core room was pretty much the same, with some cracked walls and the huge root in the middle. I knew that some of my friends had gone towards the entrance to guard it, but...I saw Carrot carrying Awen as she ran back towards us. There was a lot of blood. I blanked out for a moment. “Awen?” I asked.Carrot landed from a final hop right next to the core-room entrance and fell to one knee. “Momma, she’s hurt.”“Awen!” I screamed.I tried to go see her, but Peter held me back. “It’s fine, it’s okay,” he said. I fought to get free, but the older bun was much stronger than me.Awen didn’t look good. She was wincing, eyes full of tears, and she had a hand pressed up against her side. Momma knelt next to her, and pulled her hand off of an ugly wound right under her ribs. The bun matriarch frowned. “Buster, the medicine pack,” she snapped. The bun pulled a potion out from a pouch on her armour and popped the tab. “Drink.”Awen drank.“What happened?” Amaryllis asked.“Monster,” Carrot said. “Should have been paying more attention.”Buster placed a bag next to Momma, then stood up. “I’ll go assist him,” he said before stomping off.“That doesn’t explain what happened,” Amaryllis asked again.Awen hissed as Momma pressed a cloth to her side. “It was one of those seed monsters. The roots just turned into a big plant monster like them, but bigger,” Awen said.Peter let go of me, slowly, like he was releasing some small animal. I refrained from darting forwards, just moved over to Awen’s other side when Carrot stood, and took in her wound. It wasn’t as deep as I feared, but it did look ugly whenever Momma moved her cloth off.“Can you clean it?” Momma asked. “Gently. Leave the blood directly over the wound in place, it’s coagulating.”“Okay,” I said, leaning forward to sweep Cleaning mana across the wound.“She was thrown a ways,” Carrot noted. “Might want to check her head, like when a little bun falls from a tree and knocks their noggin.”Momma hummed, gestured so that I’d clean her hands, then raised Awen’s head up and looked into her eyes. She had Awen follow a finger while asking her questions. “Do you feel dizzy? Headache? Is your stomach settled? Do you feel like you’re about to lose your lunch?”Awen replied negatively to most of them, and Momma gave her a pat on the shoulder. “Broccoli, make sure she doesn’t start slurring, collapse, or become confused.”I nodded super fast. “I can do that,” I said. I turned so that I was sitting next to Awen, and looped an arm around the back of her head so that she’d have something more comfy to lay on than the dungeon walls.“The core is cleared?” Momma asked me.“It is,” I said. “I got a quest update about it, it’s safe now.”“In that case we should consider our next move,” Momma said. “If the roots snuck into the core room on their own, then it’s possible that they’ll just reinfest the dungeon. At the same time, we can’t afford to merely stand here and guard it all day.”“We can clear it out,” Carrot said. "Or we can do our best to do so.”Bastion ran over to us. “We might not have to,” the sylph said. “The dungeon’s creatures are resetting. At least, I suspect they are.”“Despite us being in it?” Momma asked. “That’s unusual for this dungeon.”Bastion shook his head. “A lot’s unusual right now. The boss has returned to life and seems to be healing itself.”“Oh, crud,” Carrot said.“It’s attacking the roots.”“Oh... not crud?” Carrot triedI took that in while giving Awen a fierce side-hug. The dungeon was fighting back? “Is it like an immune system?” I asked. “It hasn’t been fighting back all this time.”“Perhaps the root being in the core room prevented the dungeon from defending itself,” Momma said. “In any case, this is good news. It means that the dungeon might be less susceptible to roots in the future.”“What do we do about the roots around here?” Carrot asked. She flicked a thumb over to the big roots still in the room with us.“We burn them,” Momma said. “Broccoli, take Awen with you and head out. Carrot and I will light this room up. Bastion, Peter, Amaryllis, can you ensure that these two are safe?”There were nods all around, then Bastion cleared his throat. “I should inform you that the new monsters spawned by the roots are quite a bit more fearsome. They still appear in their first tier, but seem to level at a rate that’s absurd.”“How’s the dungeon handling it?” Momma asked.“The boss is still an order of magnitude stronger,” Bastion said. “At least for now.”“Then we’ll assist it where we can, but our main focus is leaving this place... Carrot, can you go see if the exit portal is active?”Carrot gave a sloppy salute and bounced off to go check. “It isn’t!” she called back a moment later.“Very well then. Everybun, go wait by the exit, we’ll be with you shortly.”We all squeezed our way out of the corridor, with me and Awen staying by the rear of the group as we moved. “Are you okay?” I whispered to my friend. She wasn’t bleeding anymore, the bandages Momma had wrapped around her chest doing their work. As were the potions, I guessed.“Awa, it still stings. I think my back hurts more though, I hit my kidney on something when the plant threw me.”If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.“Oh, that doesn’t sound good,” I said.Awen smiled up at me. “I’ll be fine,” she said. I believed her, but there were still tears in her eyes. “Ah, I think I might be buying or making some armour though, like what you have.” She rapped a knuckle against the side of my chestplate.“Oh, I bet you could store all sorts of cool mechanical thingies in some armour,” I said.She nodded. “That’s what I was thinking too. Might make it hard to move though.”“You just need to build up your muscles.” I raised my free hand and flexed, but owing to the puffiness of my sleeves, not much happened. Also, I didn’t have big biceps, but that was another thing.Awen giggled. “I’ll work on it, then.”We exited the tunnel into the back of the boss room. The Dreaded Dead King was at the far end, skeletal form moving faster than someone of that size should have been able to. His huge blade, as long as I was tall, flashed through the air with a hum and sliced a monster apart with a violent splash of... plant stuff.I felt a wash of heat against my back and glanced back into the corridor. Within was an inferno; bright fires leaping out of Carrot and Momma’s hands and splashing against the huge root inside. Now that it was disconnected from the rest, it seemed a lot easier to burn. It was still taking a bit for the fire to catch, but as the buns passed, they left some parts of the root utterly engulfed in fire.Smoke poured out of the corridor, and I imagined it becoming like an oven in there, at the very least.Momma exited and wiped her brow. Carrot followed after, the tips of her ears squished in a hand. “I always catch my nibs on fire,” she muttered.“We should move,” Momma said.“Through the centre, or around each floor?” Buster asked.“Centre, I think.”Everyone and everybun did what they had to to get ready, and we took off, skirting around the edge of the room where the boss was still fighting plant monsters.The monsters were kind of like the tentacled... vined things that had come out of those big seeds, but these were much bigger, with four big legs that reminded me of elephants and long, thin grasping antennas that whipped around before it crashed into stuff with its larger graspers. They were all green and brown, with nettles and thorns all over them.They looked nasty to fight.The boss was basically a buzzsaw, though, and they died as soon as they entered his range.We moved out of the main boss room, and into the chamber that led into it. A pair of plant-tentacle monsters... plant-acle monsters, jumped out and attacked our group. They were summarily crushed and torn apart by Buster and Peter who never even slowed down.Leaving the keep brought us back up to the opened section of the final floor. Like before, the castle was covered in vines and roots. Unlike before, there were now undead everywhere. Skeletons with swords and zombies with long, clawed hands.“The dungeon really is going nuts,” Carrot said.A few skeletons turned our way and rushed at us, only to be met by a thunder-clap from Amaryllis and a lunge from Bastion. The skeletons didn’t last very long.“It seems that we’re as welcome as the roots,” Bastion said. “We should leave sooner rather than later.”“This way,” Peter said. He skipped ahead and at an angle away from the gate we’d used to reach this floor. There was another door, this one in just as bad a shape, but at least it was opened. Skeletal undead, ghosts, and a few of those dread knights were milling near the door.When they turned their attention our way, they were met by three furious buns in the form of Carrot and Buster and Peter who tore through their ranks.Beyond that gate was a large circular space, the centre of the dungeon where gates connected to every floor. Opened gates. Undead from the first few floors were rushing out and heading to the last ones, including the one we were at.Bastion frowned ahead, then nodded. “There are fewer roots on the first floors. It’s targeting wherever the infestation is worst.”I was afraid we might get swarmed, but from what I suspected was the fifth floor came a huge monster, all tentacles and vines. Skeletons and zombies clambered all over it, trying to rip it apart. It quickly became the centre of all the undead’s attention.“Quick,” Momma said.We ran. Not too fast, but as fast as our slowest members could go, and that only lasted as long as it took for Carrot to swoop in behind Awen and swipe her up into a princess carry. She squeaked, but didn’t protest.We picked up the pace, dashing across the open area, ignoring the fountains and decorations in favour of moving towards the gate to the first floor. It seemed as if the buns were making an effort not to interfere with the dungeon’s defenders, and for the most part, they only lashed out if we came too close. They were more focused on the plant monsters.We burst out onto the first floor, onto the streets and ruined cityscape where our trek had started. There were plenty of ghosts still around, but they were streaming away even as we passed by beneath them.The entrance loomed large ahead of us, completely unguarded.We slid through the darkness, and then out into a lesser sort of dark.I was hit, right away, by the change in the air. I hadn’t noticed, but the dungeon’s air stank. Out here in the open, the air was fresh and lively. The moon shone above through the sparse trees, and a wind blew in and around the grassy ground.We were out of the dungeon.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Five — Victory Sleep
Chapter Two Hundred and Five — Victory Sleep We came to a stop a little ways into the ruins.When we had arrived here, there had been plenty of undead running about and ambushing us. Weaker ones, but still plenty of them. Now, there wasn’t a soul... or a lack thereof.Peter came back from a quick scouting mission to report on the why of that. “They’ve all collapsed. Not a single skeleton is still standing. As far as I can tell, they’re dead, though that’s hard to tell.”“Interesting,” Momma said.I was standing next to Awen, an arm around her back to keep her warm. “So, they died while we were gone?”“No signs of any combat that I can tell,” Peter said.I glanced around. The ruins had cast long shadows in the day, but it was well into the night, or maybe the morning, now. The lack of a moon and the overcast sky meant that seeing more than a few paces in any direction was pretty hard, though Amaryllis had cast a small lighting spell that floated by her shoulders. “Okay,” I said. “I guess they were corrupted monsters, so when the root started to die, or lost control of the core, they broke down.”“That’s as plausible as anything I’ve come up with,” Momma said. “I think we should remain here. At least until morning.”“I’m a bit worried for Awen, we should get her some healing,” I said.“Awa, I’m okay,” Awen said. “I took a potion and Momma bandaged me, I’m okay.”“See, she’s hurt,” I said.Awen glared at me so hard it wouldn’t have intimidated a kitten.“We’ll stay here for the night,” Momma said. “And I’ll look at Awen’s wound again, especially now that we have more time. Peter, could you find us a good place to camp? We don’t have tents, but I don’t smell any rain in the air, and we can burn some herbs to keep the worst of the insects at bay.”“I’ve got a rune thing for bugs,” I said. “Got it when I was in Deepmarsh.”“That would be welcome,” Momma said.Peter was quick to find a spot for our camp, just a little area at the junction of two walls covered with weak, ankle-high grass. The walls were in rough shape, like much of the rest of the ruins, but they did provide some cover from the occasional bit of wind.Momma sent Bastion and Buster and Carrot out to fetch wood while Amaryllis and Peter stood guard. Then she pried off the bandages on Awen’s side while I helped.“Did you earn anything?” Momma asked as she worked.“Me?” I asked. “You mean from the quest? No, nothing. It just ended. Not even a general skill point.”“Hmm, I see,” she said. “Well, there’s nothing for it. At the very least we’ve discovered one way to defeat the Evil Roots.”“Yeah. But you’ll need to find someone... somebun with Cleaning magic to help next time. I might not be around for it.”“Hmm. Well, there are plenty of little buns in the village who have yet to earn all of their skills. I’m certain one or two would be willing to help the town by learning Cleaning magic, and we could help them in turn by making them strong enough to use it as you have.”“Wouldn’t that mean forcing somebun to grow the way you want them too?” I asked.“Perhaps. Or perhaps we can sprinkle valiant tales of Broccoli Bunch, sky captain and wielder of powerful Cleaning magics, then let the little buns grow that way all on their own.”I pouted at her, and Awen giggled, even if it meant pulling at her wound. “You’re becoming famous, Broccoli,” she said.“For all the wrong reasons. I want to be remembered for my friendliness, not my ability to clean stuff well.”“I’m sure you can be remembered for both,” Momma said.I huffed, but I wasn’t actually angry. I was too relieved to be angry... and maybe a bit tired.Stifling a yawn, I helped Momma clean up Awen’s cut, then tied the ends of Awen’s new bandages up with a cute little bow.The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.Momma stood up, brushed off her hands, then moved over to the side and started stacking bricks and rocks into a circle. I caught on and helped her. The masonry of the ruins had fallen to pieces, yielding plenty of bits of brick and stone that I helped put in place. She grabbed some drier leaves and a few small sticks and started breaking them up. I made sure everything was clean and began picking up around the camp, not just sticks and stuff for the fire, but rocks and bits of debris too. It wouldn’t do to sleep on a pokey rock.Bastion and Buster and Carrot returned with wood, usually just some branches they cut while out, but sometimes with some bigger chunks of wood. Buster especially, it looked as if he’d taken his hammer to a tree and just brought the chunks back.Momma flicked a spark into our new firepit, then, with some careful blowing and moving of little branches and leaves, had a fire started in a few minutes' time.“We’ll cook up the rest of our provisions, I think,” Momma said. “We can toast the bread and warm up the tea. It won’t be the greatest meal, but it should keep everyone fed.”“That’s nice,” I said. “I have some tea that can help you sleep, and some tea that can help you stay awake. Should I make a bit of both?”“That’s not a terrible idea,” Momma agreed. “We should draw up a watch schedule.” Momma didn’t leave that up to anyone, and immediately pointed to each of us in pairs, always two people awake, even Awen. There was only maybe five hours until sun-up, but that didn’t mean we could be lazy.I sat back against one wall while Momma and Carrot cooked up a quick meal. Soon, Awen got up and came over to sit next to me with a pair of blankets. One we bunched up at our backs, the other she draped over us.When Amaryllis returned, she shuffled closer and tucked herself in on my other side.I luxuriated in the warmth of the fire. Fires, open and bright, always had a soothing sort of warmth to them. It left my nose feeling dry, but made my toes nice and toasty. It was a comfortable moment to just... reflect.The dungeon had been saved... maybe. We’d have to see, but I had high hopes. Better yet, we’d made new friends, and had cemented some of that by working together.My mind sprang a bit further back, to the Beaver Cleaver and all the fun we’d had aboard him already. So many adventures in only a week’s time. And we were still a good long ways from our intended destination!I was looking forward to the next adventure, and the next!I had scallywags to hug and teach about being a pirate, and a Bastion to break out of his rigid shell, and of course so much more to learn about my best friends. I hadn’t petted Orange in nearly a whole day too! The poor kitty.“Food’s ready,” I heard, muffled and distant.It was almost enough to make me open my eyes, but not quite. I was just resting them for a bit.“They’re asleep,” someone said. Carrot? Yeah, that had sounded like Carrot. “Guess they’re not hungry.”“They’re not soldiers,” Bastion said. That was definitely Bastion’s deep voice.“I suppose not,” Momma said. “Let them rest. We can redraw the watch schedule.”“Are you sure?” someone asked. I thought it was Peter.I turned my head, intent to protest. I could do my part! I wasn’t some little bun that couldn’t lift her weight.Instead, what happened was my head slumped to the side and fell atop Amaryllis’. On my other side, Awen shifted, her arm sliding around mine and hugging me closer.My protests came out as a mumble, and I heard Carrot giggle and Buster chuckle.Someone added a blanket atop the one we had already, and it was warm and cozy and...And tomorrow would be another day for adventure.
The End!
(Volume Four begins on Friday!)
Chapter Two Hundred and Six — Home Again, Home Again
Chapter Two Hundred and Six — Home Again, Home Again The first sign I saw that we were nearing Hopsalot, was the Beaver Cleaver’s bright balloon hovering over the little town.We huffed and puffed our way up a final hill, and in so doing, got to see the whole town out ahead of us. Tree-house homes and little burrows, open fields where neat little gardens were soaking up morning sunshine and the little gurgling river that swished and swashed through the village, never going in a straight line when it could instead meander around hills and through little creeks and under arched stone bridges with trellis-covered sides.I raised a hand and cupped it over my forehead to shield my eyes from the sun. I could make out buns, most with bright white shirts and with adorable little overalls on, some caring for their gardens while the little ones ran around and chased each other over hills, their long bunny ears bouncing with every step. The older buns were usually sitting on the porches before their burrow homes, rocking on finely crafted chairs and smoking from reed pipes.“We’re here!” I called back to the others.Behind me were my best friends. Awen still had bandages around her waist from where she’d gotten hurt the night before, and Amaryllis looked a bit miffed at having to walk through the forest so much. The branches and leaves tended to get caught in her feathers, much to her very loud annoyance.Bastion came up behind them, looking like a very small knight in shining armour. He smiled at me, relaxed as a sylph paladin could be. His wings fluttered behind him as he skipped off a boulder.Then there were the buns. Momma in her half-plate, and Carrot who’d removed her gauntlets and had them tied by her waist so that they clanged and banged with every step. Buster took up the very rear of the group, the huge bun stomping along with his big hammer slung onto his shoulder.Peter was... somewhere. He was the sneaky sort, so it wasn’t too surprising that I couldn’t spot him. He’d show up if anything needed our attention, I was sure.Carrot bounced up and came to a stop at the top of the hill, right next to me. Her ears wiggled with poorly suppressed excitement, and her grin was as wide as a grin could be. “Home!” she declared.“Home!” I said right back.Hopsalot wasn’t my home, of course, but the Beaver certainly was. I could only-just make out a few figures on the airship’s deck, some of them with long bun-ears.Momma caught up to us with the others and took in a deep breath. “Ah, there was a time, once, where I would leave for months on end. Wanderlust dragging me this way and that. Now I can hardly leave for more than a day or two without fearing that everything will crumble apart without me there.”I giggled. “I’m sure it’s not so bad,” I said.Some of the buns in Hopsalot spotted our party, because within moments a whole crowd of little buns had gathered by the edge of the village. They stared at us, some of them holding up their ears away from their eyes while others hesitated and only peeked our way from behind bushes and little picket fences.When we came over, their hesitation broke and soon we were swarmed by a whole gaggle of buns.Carrot darted ahead, picked one little bun up by the armpits, and spun her around a couple of times before squeezing them tight. “I’m back!” she said while the little bun tried really hard to return the hug, even though her arms were too short to wrap around Carrot’s sides.I felt Awen and Amaryllis shuffle up behind me, using me as an ablative layer against all the bouncing and smiling buns. “Hello!” I said.Their reply was a cacophony of questions that I couldn’t possibly answer all at once. From asking if we’d fought big monsters, to wondering if they could visit the airship again, to very generous offers to join them in playing extreme hopscotch.“Ah, I’m sorry everybun. But my friends and I need to follow Momma for a bit! We’ll have some time to play after that, I’m sure!”Momma was kneeling down, hugging buns that needed hugs, patting buns that needed pats, and sometimes pinching fat, chubby cheeks, much to the dismay of the buns whose faces she pinched.It took a bit for the sea of little buns to recede and for us to be able to head deeper into the town. Buster was entirely covered in buns, who seemed to have confused the big man for a jungle-gym of sorts. Peter, of course, was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t seem the sort to take kindly to being pestered by little buns.Momma shooed some of them along, and Carrot saved the day by sacrificing herself a moment later with a declaration of, “Who wants to play tag?”The screaming horde bounced after Carrot, a whole bunch of ears wobbling as they chased her.“Aww,” I said.“Thank the World,” Amaryllis said. “I can’t handle one child. That many is just a disaster in the making.”“Oh, we have little disasters all the time,” Momma said. “Buns who get caught between pickets, buns who get into fights over favourite dolls, little buns who discover some interesting insect, name it, start treating it as a favoured pet, and are then devastated when the insect passes away... usually on the same day they found it.”“Oh no,” I said. “That happened to me once. I had a pet praying mantis, but I didn't tell my mom that little Mem was a pet, and she smacked it with a fly-swatter. I was devastated.”“Awa, I never had a pet before,” Awen said.“I’ve always wanted a cat,” Amaryllis added. “They have very agreeable personalities.”“Is that why you get along so well with Orange?” I asked.“I suppose so. The spirit cat is obviously a grand and noble creature. I see a lot of myself in her,” Amaryllis said.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.Snorting, I turned to Awen. “What about you? We could probably get you a pet, if you wanted. Like a dog? Airships can have dogs, right?”“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Awen said. “Dogs need room to move, and the Beaver is a little small for that.”I pouted. My plan, newly-created, to use Awen as an excuse to get a dog had been foiled. “Well, alright. Maybe a parrot, we are pirates after all.”“I would like to log my protest,” Bastion said. “I am not a pirate. Nor for that matter are any of you.”“Sky pirate, sorry,” I said.“No,” he said, with obvious exasperation. It turned into contrite resignation when I giggled. He has a knack for making strange faces whenever I catch him flat-footed.I was expecting Momma to lead us to her home, but instead she moved towards the little hill where the Beaver had set down his anchor. “I genuinely wish we could have you stay, if only for a little longer, but if my suspicions are correct, then the Insmouth dungeon is in as great a risk as the Newbinning’s dungeon was.”“We need to head over there and fix it as soon as we can, then?” I asked.Momma nodded. “I’m confident you can manage. In either case, I’ll send some of my better buns over, Carrot and perhaps Peter included, just to see if they need assistance in a day’s time.”“They could come with us,” I offered.Momma shook her head. “They need time with their families. And you need a bit of a break too, I imagine. Still, the World doesn’t always have as much concern for us as we’d wish.”I sighed. “Okay. We should probably get Awen back to bed anyway.”“Awa? I’m better now,” Awen said. She reached over and touched her side. “There’s just some scabbing now. I took potions.”“I’m still worried,” I said.“You were impaled once, and we didn’t do this much for you,” Awen said. “Remember? In that glass dungeon?”“Well, yeah, I was fine,” I said.Awen crossed her arms and levelled a very un-Awen look at me. “Don’t be a hypocrite, Broc. I can deal with a bit of pain.”Momma laughed, and Amaryllis seemed very proud of Awen while I pouted. “Fine, fine,” I said.We arrived in the shadow cast by the Beaver, and I saw Oda and Sally, the Scallywags, looking over the rails at us. There were a couple of the older little buns with them. Those that were around the Scallywags own ages. I waved, and they waved back.“Do you need anything for your return trip?” Momma asked.I considered it. “I don’t think so? Some supplies wouldn’t go amiss. Our voyage has already gone on for a lot longer than we expected.”“We didn’t get as much fuel in Needleford as we could have,” Awen said. “But I don’t think we can get any here.”"I’m afraid that Hopsalot doesn’t have much use for that sort of thing,” Momma agreed. “What about food and such?”“We’re fine there,” Amaryllis said. “Thank you.”Bastion bowed at the waist. “I wish to thank you as well, ma’am,” he said. “Your hospitality has been wonderful, and your prompt action has likely done much to keep your little town safe.”“That’s just a mother’s job,” Momma said. “Come, I’ll give you all a quick hug for the trip back.”I crashed into Momma, because really, her hugs were the best. Then it was the others’ turn, though Bastion politely declined, and Amaryllis made noises as if she wanted to decline while eagerly accepting the hug.“I’m going to miss Hopsalot,” I said. “And I was only here for less than a day.” I let my shoulders droop a bit, and my gaze wandered over the town. It was just so chaotically peaceful. The big homes built into trees, the doors stuck into the sides of hills, the little streets, paved in carefully laid cobbles. The river sang a gurgling song, accompanied by the wind whispering over grassy hills.Then a whole bunch of little ones appeared, all of them scrambling over Carrot who took a tumble and rolled down a hill to the tune of merry screams.“I would offer to let you stay,” Momma said when she looked away from the spectacle. None of the little buns looked to be hurt from the flop down the hill. “But I suspect that you’re at that point in your life where adventure has its hooks in you, and where you’d want nothing more than to meddle. It might be best for everyone here if you only came back when you’re a little older, and a little calmer.”“I’m not a meddler,” I defended myself.Amaryllis snorted.“Is this ‘mock Broccoli’ day?” I asked.“It’s always ‘mock Broccoli’ day,” Amaryllis said. She nodded to Momma. “We’ll probably fly back over here again, on the way North.“Then stop by for tea,” Momma said. “No matter the hour.”Amaryllis nodded, then moved over to a ladder that someone had left dangling off the Beaver’s side. “Come on, Broccoli, you’re holding us back!”“Oh, right, okay,” I said. I jumped to Momma, gave her a last hug, got my head rubbed for my troubles, then darted back to the Beaver.When we climbed aboard, we found a few curious buns on deck, with Clive sitting on one of the steps leading to the aft castle and explaining things. Howard the fishman was nearby too, wringing his webbed fingers as he approached.“I’ll make sure we don’t have any uninvited guests aboard,” Amaryllis said. “You deal with Howard here.”I nodded and skipped over to the fishman. “Heya,” I said.“Hello Captain Bunch,” he said. “How did it go?”“It went well enough,” I said. “We know how to fix your dungeon now, but I think we ought to hurry back. It gets harder and harder to fix things as time goes on. We don’t want to be too late,” I said.Howard’s shoulders loosened and he gave me a fishy smile. “Oh, thank the fathomless depths,” he said.“Don’t worry Howard, my friends and I will have everything back to how it ought to be in a jiffy!”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Seven — Reciprocation
Chapter Two Hundred and Seven — Reciprocation It would take, winds willing, a few hours to get back to Insmouth. By the time we arrived, I guesstimated that it would be an hour or two past noon. That meant that we’d need to have lunch aboard the Beaver Cleaver.I left Clive, the harpies and the Scallywags to do the complicated work of flying the airship while I headed down and into the kitchen to prepare lunch. The only hands that were free were Awen and Amaryllis and... neither was all that good at the whole cooking thing.I was humming while inspecting the ingredients we had available when Amaryllis moved out of her room and came to stand nearby. She leaned against the frame of the archway leading into the kitchen. “Do you need help?” she asked.I tapped my chin. “I could use a bit of help, sure,” I said. “I think I’ll be making a big lunch. We might need leftovers for later. A nice veggie salad, some fried fish, maybe some porridge?”“That sounds like a big meal,” Amaryllis said as she stood straighter and walked over. “How can I help?”I eyed her up and down. “You really want to help? With the cooking?”“What’s wrong with me wanting to help?” she asked.“Nothing,” I said. “Just, well, didn’t figure you for the cooking sort.”She huffed. “I can learn, can’t I?”“Yup! You sure can.” I nodded. "Do you want to start by chopping the veggies? I’ll need them cut up into little cubes to start with.”“Hmph, fine,” she said.I opened a sack of potatoes and another of turnips and then grabbed some purple-skinned carrots and set them all on the table where we could start cutting. A big cauldron came next, so that we had a place to toss all the cut veggies.I hummed as I found a pair of knives and started working.“How are you?” Amaryllis asked. The question sounded a bit strained.I blinked and looked up to her. “I’m alright?” I tried.She glared at me, huffed a huff that I wasn’t familiar with, and went back to chopping up potatoes in... vaguely cube-like shapes. She was trying her best, so I wouldn’t complain. They’d all be mashed up anyway.“You... urgh, this isn’t something I’m good at,” Amaryllis whined.“You’ll get better,” I said.“I’m not talking about the cooking, you dolt.”I tilted my head to the side. “Then what are you talking about?”Amaryllis continued to chop her veggies, she was quiet for a long bit, but it felt like she was working up to something, so I didn’t interrupt her silence. “Broccoli,” she began. “You’ve been through a lot.”“Well, yeah, I guess.”“And yet you’re still smiling, and you’re still worried for everyone, and you’re still doing your best,” she continued.“Uh, yeah, that’s what a good friend does.”“Even when I constantly call you an idiot? And when Awen constantly depends on you to be her... pillar, I suppose?”I blinked. I didn’t know exactly where she was going with all of that. “Yes?”She huffed, and this time it was a very plain, very frustrated sort of huff. “You’re a... you’re a pain to deal with sometimes, Broccoli Bunch,” she said. “Most people wouldn’t weather all the stuff you’ve been through as well as you have.”“Thanks!” I said.“No,” Amaryllis said. “It wasn’t a compliment. Well, I do suppose you could take it as one. What I mean is,” she paused, then rubbed a wing under her nose. “You know, I was not always as confident as I am now.”I felt like she was trying to say something important without saying it, and in moments like that the best thing a good friend could do was listen. Still, I continued working on our lunch, not that it took much attention.“When I was younger I was the most timid of my sisters. Clementine can be incredible, but she casts a long shadow, and Rosaline has always been Rosaline. Loud and confident and always getting herself into trouble, then flying out of it with a wink and a smile. So... I was the timid one. That started to change as I got a little older, as I tired of my role in the family and started to...” She squirmed a bit. “Dream. As I started to dream of a future where I was my own harpy. School helped, it gave me an environment out of my sisters’ shadows. It gave me harpies from other clans to bicker and fight with, and allowed me to spread my wings a little. I don't remember any instantaneous change, no stark turning point... but bit by bit, I must have been changing. Little victories, building on each other, until without quite realizing it, I'd become more... me. I left the family, took a class that I appreciate more, and set off for adventure.”“That’s when we met?” I asked.She nodded. “Yes. That was an experience.”“A good one,” I replied.She huffed, a very ambivalent, sarcastic huff. “Let’s go with that. My point with that rather trite story is to say that I understand if you’re having difficulty acting as confident as you have been.”“Uh,” I said. I don’t think I had any trouble being confident or anything. Still, Amaryllis seemed worried, which was weird. There wasn’t anything to worry about. Sure, the last dungeon had been tough, and we were all a bit tired by the end, but we had won, hadn’t we? “Did you want me to tell a story about when I was young too? To make us even.”“My goal wasn’t to make us even or anything,” Amaryllis said.“You once said that you could tell someone something private, and then expect them to return the favour. Remember? You called it reciprocation.”Amaryllis blinked. “You remember that?”“Of course I do,” I said. “Um, well, I remember you telling it to me. The details are a bit vague now. It was a while ago.”The floor creaked a bit, and when I looked over, it was to find Awen stepping in. She had her hands folded over her tummy and was looking a bit bashful. "Awa, sorry, I kind of ... kind of had my room's door opened and I, ah, might have... overheard. A little."Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.“That’s okay,” I said.Amaryllis harrumphed. “I suppose.”“Do you need help? Or I could go, if you two are having a, ah, moment,” Awen offered.I glanced at Amaryllis. Were we having a moment? Weren’t we always having moments?“We weren’t,” Amaryllis said. “Now come over here with those stupid human hands of yours and chop these. This knife is not made for a proper taloned hand. I’m going to develop a crick in my wrist at this rate.”“Oh, I didn’t realize you were having a hard time. I thought you were just really bad.”Amaryllis’s feathers poofed with indignation. “Not just dumb, but rude too,” she said. “Now get on with the story, I’m going to fill the pot with water.”“Just about a quarter full,” I said. “As for stories... I don’t know what to tell? My life was very boring, you know?”“I doubt that,” Amaryllis said.“I can tell one,” Awen said. “While you think, if you want.”“I’d love that!” I cheered.Awen smiled as she took her place on the table alongside me and started working. “I don’t have very interesting stories. Uncle Abraham’s visits were always the most exciting thing. Otherwise I’d just spend the day with lessons or practicing. I liked playing with different instruments, it was one of the only parts of being a lady that was nice. Not that I could just play anything.”“Why not?” I asked.“Some instruments aren’t lady-like.” Awen said. “A flute is, a piano is, but a lute or a banjo aren’t. They leave you with unseemly calluses and things like a cello require that the lady put herself in a compromising position to play.”“Huh?” I asked. “That’s stupid.”Awen giggled. “Yes, a little,” she agreed. “But that’s how it is. When I became a mechanic, my parents were very disappointed, but I was a little too sickly to bring to a dungeon to change my class, and all the good, lady-like classes are in dungeons that are somewhat dangerous now, most of them near the capital and, well, whenever I heard them talking of moving me over, I’d play sick for a bit.”Amaryllis snorted. “Well done, there.”Awen looked down. “Ah, thanks. I always wanted to practice my mechanical skills, but it’s hard to do that when you’re not allowed. So I tended to be very clumsy. I’d break things, then put them back together. Some of the maids and servants were very helpful! They’d bring me some tools and sometimes give me things that needed to be fixed. Like mechanical clocks and some devices in the kitchens. That’s why I was able to keep up a little, and I was always a bit better the next time Uncle Abraham would come around.”I placed my knife on the table, stepped towards Awen, and engulfed her in a big, rib-creaking hug.“Awa?”“You can do as much mechanical stuff as you want when you’re with us. Or none. Or if you get some other hobby, you can do that as much as you want, alright?” I asked.Awen laughed and returned the hug with a good squeeze. “You’re being silly, Broc. I know all that.”“Oh,” I said as I loosened the hug. “Well good.” I nodded. “My turn?”“Certainly,” Amaryllis said. “Do we put any spices in this?”“No, but put it on the stove. We need to set it to a boil so the veggies get mushy. Here, let’s put the rest in too.”While the veggies boiled, I started to prepare a bit of salad for the side. Nothing much. Tiny tomatoes, some leafy greens, a few slices of carrot and some oil that I mixed with a few spices and herbs that we had drying on a rack in the little pantry.“I think... so, you girls know that I like adventure, right?”“We noticed,” Amaryllis said. She was sitting up on a bench built into the wall under one of the portholes, a bird enjoying the sun.“Right, well I wasn’t always a huge fantasy fan. When I was really young, my parents moved often. I don’t really remember all the places I’ve lived in. Sometimes we were only in a town for half a year, other times it was a bit longer.”“Were your parents traders?” Awen asked. “We had a lot of people like that in Greenshade.”“Nah, my dad couldn’t keep a job, nor could my mom, and they both liked moving a lot. We lived in mobile homes and apartments and all sorts of places. We’d change provinces every so often too. Anyway, when I was.... Ah, I think I was in grade seven? So I must have been about fourteen, or maybe I was still thirteen? Around that age.”“A teenager, barely a juvenile, but not quite,” Amaryllis said. “Old enough to lay eggs.”“Uh,” I said. I shook my head. “Something like that. So, I’d just moved to this new school. First year of secondary school, so all the students were new too, even though I’d come in half-way into the year, it wasn’t so bad. At least, I’d hoped.”“Did you make lots of friends?” Awen asked.“Nope. Just one. It was this boy who didn’t have any friends. He had a stutter, and wasn’t good at sports and stuff. We were in the same classes, and he always sat by the front, which is where I like to sit. We talked a bit and became buddies.”“Your first friend?” Amaryllis asked.“One of them. He really, really liked books. Fantasy stories, with magic and wizards and all sorts of cool stuff. So I started reading those too, and we always had something to talk about.” I felt a little sad as I set the salad aside. “We should start on the fish. Awen, can you mash the veggies for me?”“Ah, sure.”I got a pan out and oiled it, then fetched the fish from a rune-powered fridge. “Anyway, we moved again that summer. Never saw him again. But I still remember some of those stories. They kept me company for a long time. I guess I learned that from him.”I hummed as the fish fizzled on the snapping and crackling oil.“Is... that the whole story?” Amaryllis asked.“I guess so?”Amaryllis stood up and walked right up next to me. “I’m going to hug you now. Don’t go thinking anything about it. This is your one hug this week, so enjoy it.”“Huh?” I asked.But then my protests were drowned in a fluffy, feathery hug.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Eight — Dine Hard
Chapter Two Hundred and Eight — Dine Hard “Dig in!” I cheered.Most of the crew, minus Steve and Oda, were spread out around the dining room table with their share of supper before them. We didn’t do anything special before eating, but somehow-without ever actually talking about it-we tended to wait until everyone had food on their plate before we’d dig in.There were some nice noises of agreement from the others as they tucked in. The porridge seemed like a good place to start, and some were already cutting into their slices of grilled fish. “I need to thank Amaryllis and Awen, they helped a lot,” I said.Everyone but the two girls slowed down and hesitated to continue eating.“Aww, don’t be like that,” I said. “They’re getting better. I bet they might even get a cooking skill one of these days.”“Oh, please no,” Amaryllis said. “That would be such a waste of a general skill slot.”“Really? I wouldn’t mind it too much,” I said. “It’s not something too awesome, but it’s very practical. I still have a couple of general skill slots to fill, you know?”“I do have some unused slots,” Amaryllis allowed as she picked at her fish. There were still bones and such in it, which made it tricky to eat. “I’m not sure if I should focus on more exploration-related skills, or some that would be more practical in the day-to-day.”“What do you mean?” I asked.“Most people,” Bastion replied. “Will have to make a choice between obtaining skills to help them do the things they do every day, or skills that assist them with their work. Something like Sword-Fighting is a wonderful skill for a Paladin like myself, but it would be wasted on a Farmer. Likewise, I wouldn’t have much use for a Planting skill. But in both cases we’re assuming that a person is heavily specialized. If you’re not, then it makes sense to invest in skills that help you make your everyday life easier.”“It’s a trade off, then,” I said.Bastion nodded. “That’s it. The best people in their field are almost always those that have invested everything into being the best. Every class and every skill. They will be impressively good at the one thing they focused on, whatever that may be.”I nodded along while I considered that. “I don’t know what I want to be,” I said. “I know what I want, but I’m not sure if I need any classes or anything to do that, just hard work.”“I know that your answer is going to be some sickeningly sweet, idiotic tripe, but I find myself compelled to ask anyway,” Amaryllis said. “What’s your goal?”“To make the best friends, and to make sure they’re as happy as can be,” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes and Awen giggled. A few others at the table laughed, but I didn’t mind, it was a good laugh.“I recall you mentioning wanting to be strong,” Amaryllis said.“That too,” I agreed. “But I don’t need to be crazy-strong, just tough enough that people will hesitate to hurt my friends.”Bastion hummed, then gestured to me with his fork. “Perhaps focus on skills that will help your role as a captain then. Leadership skills do help in a tight spot, and they’d assist you in your current role as captain, obviously.”“Awa, maybe you should just accept the skill you get naturally? That’s what uncle does. He says that if you’re getting skills because you’re doing something you like, then those skills are the ones the World thinks you’ll enjoy best.”“Huh. I guess that makes sense. It also means I don’t need to worry about it!”“Moron,” Amaryllis said.We continued eating, our constant yammering slowing us down a bit. On the far end of the table, Howard and Clive were having an in-depth discussion about fishing of all things, and Sally and Joe were talking to Gordon about different ports the harpy had visited.I enjoyed the babble of conversation, it made the Beaver sound like a wonderfully happy place. Orange strutted down, walking on air as only a spirit cat could, and set herself down on Amaryllis’ lap and started purring up a storm.“I suspect that we ought to plan our next steps,” Bastion said as he set his fork down. He always ate quickly, as if his meal might slip away at a moment’s notice.“Do you mean the next part of the trip, or the next adventure?” I asked.“I mean the Insmouth dungeon,” Bastion said. Howard looked over at that, and Bastion caught his eye. “Can you tell us more about it?”Howard nodded before pulling a pipe out from his old coat. Clive already had his pipe out and was carefully pushing some stuff in it from a little tin jar on the table. “Our dungeon’s fairly old, but it was never one to grow fast. Three floors for the longest time. Four now. Not too many monsters, but plenty of tricks.”“I see,” Bastion said. “What are the floors like?”“Hmm,” Howard paused as he lit his pipe and took a pull while flicking out a match. It left the room smelling kind of smoky and fruity. Not the worst smell, but not the best. I let my Cleaning aura expand a bit to remove the smell. “The floors are all connected by this long, narrow cave. You can skip a floor, but it’s mighty dangerous.”“Monster types?” Amaryllis asked.“Large fish-like creatures, things with tentacles, and the mist. You can’t really fight the last.” He puffed out a perfect ring into the air. “Your worst enemy is yourself and your friends. The dungeon will always try to challenge your bonds.”The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“That’s awful,” I said.“How many do you usually go in with?” Bastion asked?“Just myself and the person needing the class,” Howard said. He pulled his pipe out and traced a circle in the air with the mouthpiece. “Three’s fine if they trust each other, but more than that and it gets harder, unless you really trust each other. Still, more people often means moving along faster too. So it’s a balancing act, in the grand scheme of things.”“We’re not just going down with one of us,” I said. “That’s way too dangerous.”“Up to you folk,” Howard said.“Right. So the plan’s pretty simple, I guess. We arrive in town, anchor the Beaver down, then head over to the dungeon right away. The longer we wait, the worse it’ll be. We don’t want to go too fast, because that’s dangerous, so we want to start as soon as we can. Maybe we bring some supplies to last a day or so.”“Only takes an afternoon to clear it,” Howard said.“It might take longer now,” I said. “We don’t know that yet, so it’s best to over-prepare.”There were nods all around.“I think it’ll be... um, I need to be there for the Cleaning magic. Amaryllis should be there to lightning things, and Awen to mechanic things, and Bastion because he’s fun. And Howard, of course, to act as a guide and local expert.” I nodded, very much pleased with my leadership abilities when it came to picking out a good team.“You idiot, you just want us to be there because you think this is some big adventure,” Amaryllis said.“Isn’t it?”Awen nodded. “It is.”“Hmph,” Amaryllis hmphed. “Well, whatever. As long as we get this over with. We’re a few days behind. We were supposed to arrive in Sylphfree the day after tomorrow. A quick glance at any map will reveal that we’re some three days away now, if we fly straight over right away.”“Ah, but we were going to be a week early, right?” I asked.“Yes, and that’s not worth anything if we arrive a week late,” Amaryllis snapped.I shrugged. “Alright. So, who wants to help me with the dishes!” I asked as I stood.The room cleared pretty quickly after that, only Awen staying behind to help me pick up. I, of course, cheated with Cleaning magic, because doing the dishes wasn’t actually fun at all unless you were doing them with someone.“Ah, I think I should run back to do some work,” Awen said. “My crossbow needs some maintenance. I had some ideas for it, but we won’t have time for that before we arrive in Insmouth.”“Anything I can help with?” I asked.Awen shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I might look around town to buy some supplies. We have some here, but I’d feel safer with more, in case the Beaver needs repairs.” She blinked , then looked my way. “Is there anything you need, Broc? I can tinker now. Sometimes I just don’t know what to make though.”“Hmm,” I said. I didn’t want to say ‘nothing’ that wouldn’t be too nice, not when Awen seemed so eager to actually put her skills to some use. But there wasn’t too much that I actually needed, not for adventuring. Maybe for my role as captain? “Oh! I need a cool telescope,” I said.“A telescope? Like, to see things?”“Yup. All good captains have one, it’s a staple, right up there with a cool pet. Usually that’s a parrot or a monkey, but I think Orange fits there.”The cat in question glanced my way from her spot on my seat at the head of the table. I think she was just there because it was warm.Once everything was tucked away, Awen said she’d be heading to her workshop, so I gave her a quick hug-for skill practice and because hugs-then I checked over my collection of teas before picking a couple and setting them aside. Then it was back onto deck.I jumped to helping the others when I saw that Clive was starting to pull the Beaver around a rather tight turn. It only took a glance towards Insmouth a bit to the north to see why. We hadn’t overshot the village, exactly, but it was a near thing.Sails snapped, the propeller hissed and the engine rumbled below deck while the Scallywags and the harpies and I ran around getting everything in order to aim back towards the town. Soon enough we were stowing the sails, slowing down as best we could to coast in over the town.It was past mid-day, and out in the bay little fishing boats were bobbing along, a few of them already heading back into the docks with their day’s catch.The people of Insmouth must have been expecting to see the Beaver because we barely warranted more than a glance as we came to a stop over a nearby clearing and dropped anchor.The airship tugged at the anchor chain and bobbed about for a bit until it settled down. The engines idled and Clive ordered the crew to run a quick inspection of the lines and sails.“An inspection?” I asked.“Aye,” the old harpy said. “If we’re going to be sitting here for the evening, might as well ensure that everything’s in working order. Can’t do that well while we’re in full flight.”“Right,” I said. One of these days I’d get the hang of it. For now though, I had more pressing things to look forward to.My friends came up, one at a time, and soon all of us were gathered on deck, backpacks on and equipment ready for another adventure. It was time to do our part to save... maybe not the world, but at least this little corner of it!
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Chapter Two Hundred and Nine — Not the Hero We Need, But Not the Hero We Deserve
Chapter Two Hundred and Nine — Not the Hero We Need, But Not the Hero We Deserve “My name is Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne, and I am here to help!”My friends and I all stopped where we were, that was, right in the middle of the main thoroughfare of Insmouth. The fishy people of the town were going about their business, though quite a few of them were looking our way.Maybe it was seeing four explorers all geared up for an adventure. Maybe it was to see if Howard was alright.Probably it was the cervid standing across from us.I had only seen a few of the deer-people, and that had been a while ago, way back when I was still working on becoming Amaryllis’ friend.This one seemed... different than the obviously military-minded cervid I’d met.He-I assumed it was a he, what with the great antlers splaying out of his head and poking out proudly above-was a couple of feet taller than me, with a puffed up chest and a dignified bearing. He had nice armour on, with a big pauldron and a cuirass that looked like it was made of some sort of leather. His sides and flanks were covered in more of the same, with gilding here and there to make the armour look that much fancier.“And who are you?” Amaryllis asked. She sounded like she was on the wrong side of tense which... yeah, that made sense. She didn’t have the best of experiences with cervid before. I placed a hand on her shoulder, reminding her that I was still there if she needed emergency hugs or anything like that.The cervid blinked. He seemed momentarily confused, but that soon passed as he puffed out his chest even more. “I am Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne. Adventurer, fighter, lover of women of all sorts! The fine people of this quaint town have told me that some other intrepid adventurers had come and were offering to assist! I, never one to shy away from sharing in the glory that comes from helping those in need, have waited here to see them.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, we’re adventurers too!”The cervid’s eyes lit up. “Truly?” he asked. “What are your guild ranks, if I may ask? Which branch are you from? I am aware of very few women adventurers.”I shook my head. “We’re part of the exploration guild,” I said.Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne’s... Emmanuel’s expression dropped. “Ah, yes I suppose that makes sense. Not as glorious as the great adventurer’s guild, but I suppose it is a little safer.”“I guess?” I tried. “Anyway, it’s nice to see others out and about trying to help people!”Emmanuel nodded. “Of course. I have the power, the skill, and the good fortune to be born able to help others, to be able to act as a hero. It would be the height of insult for me not to take up such a mantle.”Clapping my hands, I cheered him on. “Yeah! That’s the spirit!”My friends were giving me some looks, but they just didn’t understand. Mister Aldelain Von Chadsbourne was doing the right thing, which meant that he should be praised for it. All too often people that tried their best to help went without notice.The cervid bowed our way. “Thank you, little miss. Now, not that I wish to ignore such beautiful woman, but I was told that there was a group on its way to assist this town in its time of need. Are they aboard that vessel?”“Oh, yeah, that’s us,” I confirmed.He eyed us all. “The sylph I could imagine, perhaps,” he muttered.Amaryllis huffed, a very ‘this person is an idiot and is wasting my time’ kind of huff. It was one she’d used on me a few times. “Can we get going? I’d like to see this dungeon thing handled before the day’s up.”Awen and Bastion seemed eager to agree.“Ah, well,” I said. “It was nice meeting you, Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne, we’ll be off now!”“Pardon me,” he said, his smile becoming a little fixed. “But did I misunderstand your intent to try and fix this town’s dungeon issue?”“Yup,” I said. “That’s what we’re here for.”“Ah, but I too, am here for the same thing. There is no need for any of you young ladies to risk yourselves with this onerous task, not when Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne is on the job!”“No, it’s okay,” I said. “We don’t need the help. I think just the four of us will be more than enough. Unless you know something about Evil Roots?”“Evil Roots? Ah, you mean the...” Emmanuel leaned forwards a little, his voice dropping. “The creature these superstitious villagers speak of?”“It’s less a creature and more a very violent weed,” I said.Emmanuel chuckled. “You believe them?”“Well, we’ve fought Evil Roots before, so yes?” I said. I was trying to mask my confusion, but I wasn’t trying that hard. Really, we’d only just stepped off the Beaver to head over to Insmouth’s dungeon, with Howard acting as our guide, when Emmanuel stepped up before us. It was a bit strange. “Anyway, we’re off!”I started leading us around Emmanuel. Howard shrugged and stepped up and ahead of us a moment later.“Ah, wait, wait a moment,” Emmanuel said before spinning around and trotting up alongside us. “I shall accompany you. I’m certain that if a crew such as yours are able to take care of these Evil Roots, then they’ll be no challenge with someone like myself by your side.”“I think we’re okay,” I said.“Awa, maybe you can go see if someone else needs saving?” Awen asked.The cervid cleared his throat. “Nonsense! When you find someone in need, it’s your duty as a hero to assist as best you can!”“How did you even end up here?” Amaryllis asked. “We’re on the far side of the Hoofbreaker forest, and I don’t recall cervids being welcome at the Grey Wall.”Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.“Historically, that may be true, but the Crys aren’t so cruel as to deny access to a single intrepid hero,” Emmanuel said. “And Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne is nothing if not a hero!”Bastion sighed. “I think the young miss was trying to politely steer you towards an issue that you can solve without interfering with our own business,” Bastion said.“Nonsense! A hero of my caliber does not get in the way. He paves the way. A way for a better tomorrow!”“Yeah!” I agreed.“Stop cheering him on, you dolt,” Amaryllis said. “We’re trying to encourage him to leave.”“But why? I mean, yeah, we probably don’t need the help in the dungeon, but he doesn’t seem mean. And I guess if he is suspicious, then it would probably be best if we kept him close, right?”“Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne is not suspicious, he is heroic!”Amaryllis gave me a very flat look. “He’s very suspicious.”I glanced back at the cervid, hesitated for just a moment, then asked him a question. “Can I use Insight on you?” I asked.“Certainly!” he said.A cervid Hero of the White Tail, level 20, proud of himself.“He’s a little strong, I guess,” I said. Bastion had question marks to his name. Stronger than us by level alone, but not so strong that he was a big threat, especially if we all worked together.Emmanuel chuckled. “You wound me, young bun. I am still young, and I still have a few adventures left in me before I grow strong enough to defend everyone that needs it.”“Hmm,” I said. “Well, I think Awen’s probably right. I don’t think we’ll need any help in the Insmouth dungeon, but if we do, it’s nice to know that we have someone to call upon.”Emmanuel tapped at his chin. “No, I believe I shall insist upon accompanying you.”“Insist?” Amaryllis asked. She sounded a bit dangerous there.“Indeed! What hero would leave a group of young maidens alone in such a vile and dangerous place as a dungeon. If you won’t allow me to convince you to stay away from such a place, then I will accompany you. There might be monsters and vile creatures within, nothing that a young lady ought to bet her fragile constitution against!”“Pretty sure my constitution’s pretty good,” I said. “That’s like the resilience stat, right? Mine’s at fifty-five.”“That’s not terribly high, actually,” Amaryllis said.“My classes are both more flexibility-based,” I admitted.“That’s the spirit,” Emmanuel said. “The physical stats are often the most useful in tackling the sorts of problems a hero must face in their day-to-day! They keep you healthy and hardy and able to tackle the greatest foe and save those damsels in distress!”I stared at Emmanuel. He was very excitable. “What’s the male equivalent of a damsel?”“Pardon?”“Like, a prince? I mean, I was just thinking, what if that’s what you have to save?”Amaryllis hummed. “A prince in peril? That preserves the alliteration.”“A prince isn’t the same as a damsel though,” Awen said.“I think that would just be a bachelor,” Bastion said.“I can’t think of any words that mean ‘in trouble’ that start with the same letter as that,” I said. “I should get a thesaurus.”“Yes, because that’s what you need to carry around while dungeon diving,” Amaryllis said. “In case you run into any synonym-based traps.”“I bet there’s a wordplay dungeon somewhere on Dirt,” I said.“I have the impression that your group isn’t taking this adventure very seriously,” Emmanuel said.“Huh? Of course we are,” I said. “Can’t you tell how nervous we are?”The cervid looked at me, then to all of my friends. “I’m afraid that I haven’t spent enough time with the lesser species to learn to read their body language. Your banter certainly doesn’t seem very nervous.”“Lesser species?” I repeated.“The cervid are idiots who, in their foolishness, believe that they’re better than everyone else,” Amaryllis said.“Oh,” I replied. Just some casual specism, then. “Well, whatever. Our banter’s meant to try and make each other laugh, because making someone laugh makes you laugh, and laughter’s a great way to unwind and relax. If you’re going to be doing something stressful, it's best to start with the best foot forward. So we banter.”“I see, yes,” Emmanuel said. “That makes sense. Perhaps I should join in your banter as well.”“I don’t know if you could manage,” Amaryllis said.“Of course, if some girls can do it, then certainly Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne, saviour of women and hero to all men, can manage!”“Uh, your confidence is great, but you might want to tone down the misogyny? A lot?” I asked.“Awa, it is a bit rude.”“Forgive me?” the cervid said. “I am not entirely certain of how I insulted you, dear ladies, but I know how fragile a woman’s heart can be, and it wouldn’t behoove me not to apologize.”I looked to my friends and got deadpan looks and shrugs in return.“Right, well,” I said. “Howard, where’s the dungeon’s entrance?”“Ah, it’s just outside of town a little ways. It looks a bit like a shed, actually. We placed our graveyard there,” the fishman said.“Why did you do that?” Awen asked.“So that the mana from our dearly departed may return to the world by means of the dungeon. It’s just over here now.”“Let’s see about those Evil Roots then!” I said. And to myself, I wondered about what to do about our new cervid hanger-on.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Ten — Read The Mood
Chapter Two Hundred and Ten — Read The Mood The entrance to the Insmouth Dungeon that Howard brought us to wasn’t quite what I expected. It was, as he had said, in a graveyard, but one unlike any I had ever seen.The grounds around the dungeon proper were filled with little statues, each one atop a plinth. The plinths had glass on four sides, with brass rods on the corners holding up a block of square stone.In most of the glass boxes was an object. A knife, a reel from a fishing rod, a small toy. Sometimes it was a key, or a mug like those at the inn, or even a tiny carved boat. The older plinths had baubles that were so aged and rusted that it was hard to guess what they had once been.The plinths were usually grouped together, some linked by iron bars, others just tightly packed.The statues above were mostly of fish, which was interesting, but I couldn’t help but stare at all the little knickknacks inside.“What are those things?” I asked.Howard turned his big fishy eyes my way, and replied with quiet reverence. “When one of ours passes, we bury them here, in their best clothes and wrapped in netting cloth so that their bones and flesh might better return to dirt. And to remember them, we take a little keepsake of theirs, something they cherished, and put it in a plinth. Once there was a plinth per family, but now our little community has grown close enough that it’s a wonder if half the village isn’t the other half’s third cousin.”“Oh,” I said. It was... actually a really nice way to remember people.We all remained silent as Howard opened a gate in the fence that circled around the cemetery, then stood aside to let us in.“Don’t worry everyone! I am here! There is no need to fear any sort of ghost or ghoul!”I sighed as Emmanuel’s voice rang out across the cemetery. It was like a spell being lifted, and suddenly the solemnity that came with being in such a place was entirely gone.“Did no one ever teach you to read the mood?” Amaryllis sniped.“Of course! The Von Chadsbourne family is quite well off. I have been blessed with a wonderful education,” our new cervid... friend said.I eyed him for a moment, then snapped my attention back to the little shack in the middle of the graveyard. It was a simple little building, made of stone just like the plinths and rising to be just a bit shorter than I was. That is, if you counted my ears in my height.“It’s okay, Amaryllis,” I said as I turned towards Emmanuel. “I think this is where we’ll be parting ways. It was nice meeting you, and I’d love to be friends one day, really, but we need to jump in the dungeon and fix it up as quick as we can.”I felt my Friendmaking skill activating, and eagerly read what it revealed.Emmanuel Aldelain Von ChadsbourneDesired Quality: Someone who admires his valour and chivalryDream: To be a hero of legendsThat... was kind of sad, actually. It looked like Emmanuel wanted admirers more than he wanted friends. But wanting to be a hero was pretty cool.“Pardon?” Emmanuel asked. He chuckled. “No worries, I won’t let you slow me down once we’re in the dungeon.”“Huh?”I heard Amaryllis’ talons smacking her in the face. “He’s an idiot.”“Dear young miss, I am no such thing. I am merely expressing my concern for your well-being. Accompanied as you are by two men, it doesn’t mean that there’s no danger to be had within a dungeon,” Emmanuel said.I blinked. “Wait, is that just... casual misogyny? But like, really, really obvious?”“I suspect anything more subtle than a sledge-hammer to the head is beyond him,” Amaryllis said.“Hmph,” Emmanuel said. “I can tell when I am being insulted. Very well, it is somewhat understandable. Perhaps you are acting on prejudice, perhaps you merely doubt my abilities.”The cervid pranced past us on his way to the mausoleum in the grave’s centre.“In that case, I shall prove my ability!”“Uh,” I said. “We... should probably go after him?”By the time we started to move, the cervid had torn the door to the mausoleum open and was stomping on in.“Hey! Wait!” I called after him.Our whole group, Howard included, squeezed through the doorway into what looked like a rather tiny building on the outside, but the moment we were within, we were all able to stand up straight. The ceiling was even arched enough in the middle that my ears didn’t rub against it.You are Entering the Depths of InsmouthDungeon Level 8-10Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?Amaryllis grumbled something. “I’m going to create an instance for us. Including that moron out ahead. We don’t want any more people interfering if we can avoid it.”“You’re including him?” I asked.“You’d whine if we didn’t save his foolish behind,” Amaryllis said.“Folk in town ought to know better than to come in here without me or one of the others used to running the dungeon,” Howard said. “And the other divers know that we’re moving in as a group today, they’ll keep an eye on things.”“That’s wonderful, thanks,” I said to Howard. I hadn’t really considered all of that. What if a child chose to sneak into the dungeon today and we ended up breaking the core later? That would be... really awful.I took a moment to gather myself and make sure everything was as ready as it could be. We had packed light. I had a sling bag over one shoulder-courtesy of Amaryllis who was very good at adventure-chique-and within that I had some necessities for a nice adventure.1 — Pack of hardtack1 — Can of beans1 — Knife and other utensilsA case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.1 — Kettle1 — Blanket1 — Bandages and a small first-aid kit1 — Book about plantsAnd out of the bag I had more things. A couple of health potions, a stamina potion and a mana potion. A nice knife for chopping things, and of course my warspade and trusty turtle-shell hat. My gambeson and armoured skirt were all nice and clean, and I’d even used some extra Cleaning magic on my breastplate and armoured bits.My friends were equally well-prepared. Awen in her big blue coat over some respectable adventuring gear, her big repeating crossbow slung over her back and her hammer being fiddled with in hand.Bastion had his whole paladin set-up, with light armour and his fancy sword by his hip. He definitely looked like the tankiest of us all.Then there was Amaryllis in her leather coat and her strange harpy pants. She only had her strange wand-knife on her and her magic goggles around her neck.I was a little concerned about my friends’ lack of armour. Amaryllis and Awen both preferred fighting from afar, when they had to fight at all, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t afford to wear a bit more.Probably a concern for later though. I could picture Awen doing all sorts of neat things with her Mechanics and Glass Cannon class. Maybe a teeny tiny mecha suit? No, that was just silly. Cool, but silly. Amaryllis could definitely use more armour though. She was a bird-person, and birds had lots of fragile little bones.I set that aside.“Okay. Our first goal is to find Emmanuel. He can’t have gone far. Then we suggest that he leaves. After that, it’s down to the fourth floor as quickly as we can. We need to clear out any Evil Roots that are mucking about around the core,” I said.“Sounds good to me,” Amaryllis said. “I wouldn’t mind being the one to drag that cervid idiot out of here. I need to practice my Puppeteering some more, and his unusual body shape would certainly give me plenty of experience.”“Just don’t hurt him,” I said. “He seems to mean well.”The opening corridor of the dungeon had bricks along the walls and ceiling, there were even a couple of lit sconces on the walls but only for a few paces. After that, they gave way to rocky walls and a floor glistening with moisture. The air smelled a bit like fresh mud and rotting seaweed, and it was surprisingly loud. Lots of pitter-pattering drops of water and the gurgle of what sounded like a stream. The sound echoes a little, making it sound as if the tunnel went on forever.We turned a slight corner and the light dimmed a bit. Moss on the sides seemed to glow very faintly, so faintly that I wasn’t entirely sure that they did glow. There were also lots of fireflies buzzing around, casting globes of yellowish light.And, right there ahead of us, was Emmanuel. The cervid had stopped for a moment, and was fixing a glowing lantern to a hook on the side of his saddle. Was it a saddle? Saddles were for riding, and his armour didn’t look like it would be comfortable to sit on.“Emmanuel!” I called out.“Ah, you’ve decided to join me after all,” he said. “Fear not, I was just about to enter this here grotto. I suspect that it’s the first floor. Or, perhaps, a shortcut!”The cervid pointed to a thin crack in the wall, one that looked like it was just barely wider than my shoulders in its middle.“That is the first floor,” Howard said. He gestured past the cervid. “If you continue down that way, you can skip it entirely, but it’s mighty treacherous.”“Ah, a bit of treachery never scared me!” Emmanuel said.“No,” I replied. “We, and by we I mean my friends and I, are taking the safer route. We might want to finish this quickly, but we also mean to finish it safely. But you, mister Emmanuel, I think that you ought to return to the surface now.”The cervid blinked at me. “Forgive me, but are you suggesting that I leave you alone down here?”“She’s not so much suggesting it, as she is ordering you to leave,” Amaryllis said. “Please, do refuse. I would find it a lot more amusing to kick you out.”“Amaryllis, there’s no need to be rude.”“I’m aware that I don’t need to be rude, I’m doing it purely for my own entertainment.”“Amaryllis,” I chided. With a sigh, I turned back to Emmanuel and tried to think of what to say. I really didn’t want him to get into trouble because of us, and I was a little afraid that he might get in the way. At the same time, he did seem prepared. He had his little lamp, and a decent amount of weapons and good armour. His level was high enough that I imagined he’s been on a couple of adventures too. “Okay, hear me out,” I said.“Oh no,” Amaryllis muttered. Awen patted her on the back.“Mister Emmanuel,” I began.“Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne,” Emmanuel corrected gently.“Uh, sure,” I said. “Here’s the deal. We’re not really allowed to tell you to leave.” I shot Amaryllis a look before she said something rude again. “It’s not our dungeon. But, this is our party. So if you want to accompany us, then you need to follow our rules.”The cervid hesitated, then nodded. “I can accept that. What are your rules?”“Uh,” I said. Did... we have rules? “Mostly it’s unwritten... unspoken common-sense sort of stuff. We watch out for each other, we listen to those that know best about something, and we do our best to make sure that all of our friends have a good, safe time, no matter how dangerous the stuff we might be dealing with is.”“I suppose I can abide by that, though those rules are a little loose.”“Well, loose rules are good, right?” I asked. “Strict isn’t any fun.”Emmanuel gestured to the crevice in the wall. “Then shall we continue here, or will we be taking the more expedient route?”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Eleven — The Prisoner's Dilemma
Chapter Two Hundred and Eleven — The Prisoner's Dilemma Squeezing into the first floor was surprisingly hard. The passage was just wide enough at the start to walk through, but quickly became so narrow that I had to move in sideways. It was much harder for Emmanuel and Bastion. The cervid because he was just plain wider than us, and because of his body shape, couldn’t go in sideways, and Bastion because despite his size, his armour still clanged on the walls.Still, with a bit of sweating and grumbling, all six of us made it through.“Always tricky that part,” Howard said as he brushed off his trousers. “Had to guide this young lad once. Well-fed fellow. He stayed stuck halfway through and for a moment I feared we would be done for.”“That sounds awful,” I said. I couldn’t imagine being stuck in a cave like that.There was a fair bit of light in the cavern we were now in. The ceiling above was quite a ways up, and while the cave was somewhat narrow and had some plateaus and rocky walls, there was a clear space to walk along down the centre.A small rivulet ran across the floor, with faintly glowing moss on its edges. No stalagmites or stalactites though.I worked my shoulders and eyed the room, then turned to Howard. “So, what can we expect here?” I asked.“The first floor’s an easy one,” he said. "The worst monster here are the shrug-goths. Normally they wouldn’t disturb you at all, not if you know what you’re doing. Now... well, they’ve been a little more aggressive, but we’ve noticed that if you give them room they’ll go about doing their own things still.”“How very interesting,” Emmanuel said. He tore his sword out of its scabbard. “I shall, of course, eliminate these monsters before they truly pose a threat to anyone.”I placed a hand on his wrist and lowered the sword. “How about we don’t hurt anyone we don’t have to?” I asked.My ears twitched. I heard something, and it wasn’t Amaryllis’ whining about getting her feathers wet. A strange croak-y noise from deeper in the cave.“What was that?”“That’s the frogs,” Howard said. “Dungeon toad. Nothing to worry about.”Bastion, who had a hand on the pommel of his sword from the moment Emmanuel reached for his, looked towards Howard. “What’s the test here?”“It’s a trust test,” Howard said. “One of the reasons we’d rather send in only one or two folk down here. Makes it easier to trust each other. But as long as we all cooperate, there won’t be any harm. It’ll be easier to explain once we’re there.”We took a moment to make sure all our gear was ready—we'd had to take off our backpacks to fit through the crevice—then followed after Howard once more.The cave twisted around and opened up into a large room. It was maybe the size of a hockey rink, but misshapen, with darkened corners and piles of rock here and there. At the far end was a huge door, all old wood with metal bands across it, and a hefty chain above it. At a glance, I guessed that the door was meant to slide up into the wall.To the side was a large pond. In the near-darkness of the room, I could dimly make out some shapes moving within the clear water. A faint fog hovered just over the still waters, obscuring part of the room, especially as it spilled past the banks.“What is that?” Amaryllis asked as she snapped her talons to create a ball of light. She raised it, bathing the room in a whitish-blue glow.There was a monster sitting atop a stack of rocks. Big, about the size of a car, with dozens of tentacles and droopy eyes, as if someone had found a couple of squids, stuck them together, then rolled them through a pile of googly eyes.“That’s a shrug-goth,” Howard said, voice low and calm.The monster was some ways away in the cavern, tentacles trailing into the pond behind it. It noticed us, but its placid eyes soon shifted away and stared at other things, as if we weren’t really interesting enough for it.A Shrug-Goth of Insmouth, apathetic, level 9.“It doesn’t look too mean,” I said.“It shouldn’t bother us,” Howard replied. He pointed a webbed hand past the monster and towards that end of the room, drawing our attention to a little bridge crossing over the pond to a sort of pier on the far end. It was all wooden and looked a bit rickety, even from here.“Iä! Iä!”I glanced around, ears twisting to spot the source of the sound, and I found it in the form of a fat toad slumped next to the pond.“Iä!” the toad repeated.“The test here’s pretty simple,” Howard said. “Back over there, on the other side of the bridge are a few rooms. Usually there’s just three of them. Each one has a lever that you need to pull to open the floor’s door.” He pointed to the big wooden door at the far end.“And then we can go?” I asked.“That’s the most of it,” he replied.“That sounds a little easy,” Amaryllis said.“That’s because there’s a mite more to it. When you pull the lever in one room, the door to that room locks up until enough levers are pulled. You only need to pull as many levers as there are folk with you, so even if there are only two of you, and three rooms, you only need to pull levers in two of the rooms, letting you advance with only two folk.”“Um, I don’t see a trap,” Awen said.Howard rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well, see, when you pull the lever, it doesn't just work toward unlocking the floor's door, it also closes and seals the door to your own room. There’s a second lever that’ll unlock your door at the back, but pulling it before the floor’s main door is open isn’t a great idea."This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon."So, to open the floor door, you have to deliberately trap yourself?" Amaryllis asked.“Uh,” I said. “So we go into those rooms, and pull two levers?”“That’s the whole of it,” Howard said.The little bridge was a bit closer to the shrug-goth than I’d have liked, but even as we came closer the dungeon monster didn’t do much more than eye us suspiciously for a bit.“What happens if someone pulls the second lever right after the first? I don’t enjoy being trapped.” Amaryllis asked.Howard was quiet for a little bit. “Depends. Usually, someone dies. I think you’re all good folk, so I don’t expect that sort of thing to happen. Just sit back and wait for the mist to clear. I can hollar when it’s safe to leave.”I was a little concerned about the bridge, but it didn’t hide any traps, not unless being very poorly made and rather rickety was a trap. We avoided the more rotten planks and made it across the pond to the pier with no trouble.As Howard had said, there were three rooms here, each one dug into the side of the cavern wall. There were some torches within, lit already and casting an orange glow within. There were two levers in each room, one near the door, one at the far end.“You’ll want to pull at the nearest one,” Howard said.“Three rooms,” I said. “And a lot more than three of us. I guess three of us go in and pull the levers while the rest of us wait out here?”“Do we need to pull them at the same time?” Amaryllis asked.Howard shook his head. “Nah, just got to pull them all. We should all split up into the rooms.”“Don’t we just need one of us to pull the levers?” I asked.The fishman rubbed at the side of his nose. “Not quite. Once all three levers are pulled, the main door opens, and a fog rolls in. If the door of your room isn't closed when the fog arrives, you die.” Howard paused for us to protest, but we just stared. “We just need to wait the fog out.”“You die of what, exactly?” Amaryllis asked.The fishman shrugged. “Don’t rightly know.”“You never tried to learn?” Bastion asked.“Not worth the risk,” Howard said.I rubbed at the back of my neck, then shrugged. “Alright. Do we want to draw straws?”“That sounds troublesome,” Amaryllis said.“Fine then. Bastion, you’re with Emmanuel in the first room. Amaryllis, you’re with Awen in the third. Howard and I will go to the middle room. That works for everyone?”“I suppose so,” Emmanuel said. “Though I’m worried that two ladies are without anyone to protect them.”Amaryllis pointedly walked off.I skipped over to the middlemost room, Howard following after me a moment later. The room wasn’t very big, but it wasn’t too cozy even with two of us squished in. I turned towards the lever nearest the door, and noticed a little symbol scratched into the wall next to it. A sort of line with five branching bits. It was too careful to be an accident.“That’s the Elder Sign,” Howard said before I could ask. “It’s good luck.”“Huh, alright,” I said. Clearing my throat, I called out to the others. “Are you all ready?”“We are,” Amaryllis said.“As are we,” Bastion replied.I reached up and wrapped a hand around the lever nearest the door. This was us trusting Howard to do the right thing, or at least to guide us in the right direction. “On the count of three,” I said. “One.”“Two,” said Amaryllis.“Three,” Bastion said next.I grit my teeth and pulled the lever down as hard as I could. It was a bit rusty, and I had to put all my weight on it to force it down. I even heard Amaryllis and Awen grunting as they no doubt worked together to lower theirs.Three dull clunks sounded out as we finished, then the doors over our rooms came slamming down from above and closed us off from the main room. Metal doors, with bars spread wide enough that I might have been able to squeeze my head past them in a pinch.A boom came from the door at the far end of the room, and I saw the shrug-goth raise its head a moment before it slumped into the water, its many-tentacled form wriggling into the pond and disappearing with barely a splash.The floor door shuddered, then started to rise. It was slow, only moving up a centimetre or so a second. I soon lost sight of the edge as a rolling fog started to eek into the room. It carpeted the stony ground near the entrance, then coiled its way closer even as the tendrils of mist broke apart and filled with air with hazy white.“Just a few minutes, now,” Howard said.I nodded, eyes searching for something in the fog. There was... definitely something moving in it. Or maybe it was just the strange glow from the mossy walls playing tricks in the haze.Fog washed over my feet, and I felt a chill race up my legs and through my spine before I poured some mana into my Cleaning aura. The fog almost hissed as it drew back.“Creepy,” I said. It was almost a whisper. It felt wrong to speak too loud now that there was some very suspicious fog around.“We just need to wait a few minutes,” Howard whispered back. “Once the gate’s all the way up, the fog will start to clear.”“Alright,” I said. “I can be patient.”“I’m no coward that will hide from some measly fog! Come! Let’s scour this place for any worthy foes!”I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that I didn’t see Emmanuel trot out of his room just after the gate over that room’s door clattered up and out of the way.“Maybe Amaryllis was right,” I admitted.
Chapter Two Hundred and Twelve — Mist Opportunities
Chapter Two Hundred and Twelve — Mist Opportunities I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel as I watched Emmanuel run into the fog, the light hanging off his barding swinging around and turning a big spot of the haze into a glowing ball within which I could only just make out the cervid.I decided to settle on being somewhat frustrated. “Mister Emmanuel! No!”“Come at me! Don’t hide yourself away, there’s no point in any of that. I won’t allow a threat to exist that could harm my charges!”My mouth worked for a bit. I was looking for something to say, but couldn’t think of anything. Instead, I rubbed at my forehead.“Now you know what it’s like dealing with you,” Amaryllis called from her room.I huffed back at her. I was nothing like that.“Shall we save him?” Bastion asked. I had the impression he hadn’t moved from his room at all.A glance to the side showed Howard shaking his head. The fishman looked a bit saddened. “We’ve lost every person that’s stepped out into the fog. Maybe you folk are stronger than us, or luckier, but we never figured what sort of monster lives in that mist.”I chewed on my bottom lip for only a second before moving over to the door. It was all bars, and I figured I could definitely squeeze between them. Reaching a hand out, I touched the fog. It was strange, like brushing cotton candy, but wet.Like flicking a switch, I let my Cleaning magic wrap around me as an aura and had it push against the fog. It removed some of it, but not very much. I scrunched my nose and tried to figure out why. The obvious answer was that I was just cleaning the fog of any impurities, but the fog itself wasn’t something dirty, it was just water.So, I could just barely improve visibility. Not great.“Amaryllis, I need lots of light, and lots of heat,” I called out. “Awen, can you get ready to shoot at anything that’s not one of us? Bastion, I’ll need your help for this.” I chucked off my backpack, then gave my warspade to Howard who seemed to catch on right away.I had to squeeze in sideways, but it wasn’t too hard to slip through the gate. I had to wiggle my shoulders, and my tail bumped the cold metal bars, but soon enough I was through.Howard passed me my warspade.“What are you planning?” Amaryllis asked. She was waving her wand about, and soon a couple of little balls of light appeared that she flung out into the room. They mostly dropped to the floor, and one of them plopped into the pond. Still, they cast some light in the fog.“I’m planning on making sure that Emmanuel doesn’t die,” I said as I twisted my grip around on my spade. I pushed more magic into my Cleaning aura, and the fog became just a bit clearer. Amaryllis was flinging more lights around, enough that I could make out the wooden pier beneath my feet, and the edge of the bridge. Emmanuel was more or less in the middle of that bridge, judging by the light still coming from his barding.With one hand on my spade, and the haft of it tucked under my arm for stability, I raised my free hand and started to make a fireball. Not the many little fireballs that I liked using, but a single bigger one. I wanted a bunch of heat to melt away the fog.I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work exactly as I wanted, but there was no harm in trying.As soon as I took off towards the cervid, the sounds from my friends lessened. Amaryllis’ muttering became muted, and I could hardly hear Awen’s comments back to our nervous harpy friend.I moved slowly. Not only did I want to avoid going for a sudden swim, I didn’t want to run into any sort of ambush.If this fog was meant to hide some sort of monster, then that monster was likely able to see through the fog, or maybe it had other senses that the fog didn’t tamper with. Smell, maybe? Or really good hearing? Maybe something entirely different.“Ah-hah, there you are!”I spun towards Emmanuel, then ‘eeped’ as he swung something my way.I ducked, then flattened my ears down just in time to avoid having them clipped short as a sword hummed over my head.“Hey!” I shouted.“Oh,” Emmanuel said. He looked down at me, then carefully brought his sword back to his side. “Forgive me, I thought you were some vile monster.”“I’m not a monster! And even if I was, you shouldn’t just go swinging a sword like that!”“She’s right.”Both Emmanuel and I jumped and turned as Bastion walked out of the fog. The sylph was looking around, sword still in its sheath, but his hand was on its hilt. “You’re quiet,” I said.“It’s good to be quiet, at times. We should return to the room; the three of us together should be able to use the entrance as a chokepoint until the fog clears.”That sounded a lot better than being stuck out here in the open. “Alrig-” I began to say.Something heavy and wet slorped its way around my waist. I looked down, the fireball I still held onto providing plenty of light by which to see a huge purple-ish tongue grabbing me. It was slimy, with drool pooling on it and leaking down to the ground with a splatter. My Cleaning aura, still on, was wicking away at the drool.“Uh,” I said.Then I was yanked back.I screamed as I flew across the room.It wasn’t a very long flight, my feet scraped against the ground, and I kicked out, trying to find purchase a moment before my butt smacked the ground. Even when I was on my back, the tentacle thing kept on tugging me backwards.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.I could barely see anything in the fog, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have options. I was still towing along my huge fireball, after all.Reaching up and behind me, I aimed along the length of the tentacle, then fired.The fog hissed as the fireball shot through it. I saw a glimpse of something dark and slimey a moment before the fireball impacted with a burst of unleashed flame.The monster in the darkness screeched.I wished that the tentacle grabbing me loosened, but instead it seemed to spasm tighter around me and pulled me even faster.Grunting, I slapped the flat of my foot down and jumped as best I could into the air. With a kick, I was able to twist around and properly see the monster pulling at me through the mists.Tentacle Toad, Level 8, Hungry.I wasn’t about to let some toad eat me!I screamed as I swung my warspade around, timing it with the toad pulling me towards its mouth. It had a huge mouth, one ringed by dozens of questing tentacles. That didn’t protect it from the heavy bonk of my spade on its head.A big puff of fog came pouring out from some slits on the toad’s sides and back, like strange smokey gills. That’s where the fog was coming from!The spade shook so hard I had to grit my teeth and grip as hard as I could to keep hold of it.Moving quick, I planted a foot at the base of the tentacle toad’s jaw, and another right on its face, in a pose that felt like trying to walk up a staircase while skipping a few steps.The tentacle around my waist tugged again, and those around its mouth started to wiggle towards my legs.So I raised my spade and brought it down in another heavy bonk.The tentacle toad didn’t let up.“Fine then!” I said. Aiming a hand down at its mouth, I unleashed a wave of S-tier Cleaning magic down its throat and all over its open mouth.There was slimy drool and pools of saliva in there before I started. By the time my magic petered out, the toad’s mouth was as dry as sandpaper.It croaked, tongue unwinding around me and letting me go to fall back.As soon as I had a foot on solid ground, I bounced back a step or two, then took in my surroundings. I was... near the far end of the room, not too far from the doorway.“Iä! Iä!” croaked the toad.“Nuh-uh,” I replied.It had a mean look in its eyes as it worked its mouth, probably trying to do something about the dryness. Then its tongue shot out at me.This time, I was ready for it.The metal head of my spade thumped against the tongue, sending it flickering off to the side. An opening!I raised my hand and prepared a single little fireball. It was all I had time for, I figured. It wasn’t even anything special, just a fireball made with stickier fire mana. I let it loose and watched it whistle over to the toad where it splashed against its head. The fire stuck on though, creating a little patch of light in the fog.Grinning, I leapt backwards a few times.The toad followed, and with that little patch of fire on its head, it was easy as pie to see where it was.“Iä! Iä!” it screamed at me.“Iä! Iä!” another toad said from within the fog.I felt a chill go down my spine at that. There were more than one? Of course there was more than one! I felt quite silly. One tentacle toad I could probably take on. It was beneath my level, and I was pretty sure I could whittle it down with a few more smacks and maybe a fireball or three.Two of them? More?“Guys!” I called out.“Miss Broccoli?” came Bastion’s voice from off to the side. I twisted and spotted a faint but growing light there. The light resolved into Bastion and Emmanuel, both of them looking a shade concerned. “Are you well?” the sylph asked as he rejoined me.“Yeah,” I said. “There are tentacle toads in the fog. They’re making the fog, I think.”“I see,” he said. “Then killing one or two of them should improve visibility a little. Is that one of them there?”I followed his pointing finger and found a patch of light moving closer with big slow hops. The toad I’d hit with my fireball. It was still burning. “Yep, that’s one of them.”“Worry not, Miss Broccoli! I shall skewer that toad in the name of Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne!” Emmanuel said, a moment before charging into the dark.“If he were in my unit, I’d court-martial him on principle alone,” Bastion said.“He’s... okay, so he’s pretty bad,” I said. “But let’s not leave him to fight all on his own. We should help.”“He put himself into this mess, and dragged us along with him,” Bastion said. “Once this is done with, I expect we will be having a conversation with Mister Von Chadsbourne. His unprofessional behaviour is fine up until the point where it endangers us.”Emmanuel screamed, not in pain, but more... like a kid who thought screaming would make attacks hit harder.“Iä! Iä!” the toad responded.“Right, I’m going to have a chat with him. But let’s maybe save him first?”“I suppose we can do that much,” Bastion agreed. He pulled his sword out of its scabbard, flicked it once, then started walking into the mists. “Let’s get this over with.”“Ah, wait for me!” I said as I ran after him.I didn’t want to miss out on the chance to practice when I had someone like Bastion watching over me. Plus, getting a level up before Amaryllis would really motivate her competitive spirit.It was time to teach these toads a lesson about fighting buns.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirteen — Toadbreakers
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirteen — Toadbreakers The tentacle toad’s tongue whipped out at me, slashing through the air followed by a trail of drool.Bastion’s sword cut through the air ahead of me, so fast that all I saw was a grey blur through the fog.The tongue flopped off to the side, the bulb at the end detached from the rest of it.The tentacle toad croaked in pain and slurped its tongue back, but not before I ran up to it. I planted a foot on the ground just before the monster and shot into the air. It wasn’t a huge leap, just a couple of metres nearly straight up.My spade came down, point-first, and with one foot riding on the top of the shovel part. That’s how I landed atop the toad, the shovel’s blade digging in right between the monster’s eyes so hard and fast that it sank in to the hilt.The toad croaked, then burst apart in a huge cloud of mostly fog.I landed with a stumble, then spun my spade around and started looking for the next tentacle toad.Emmanuel was fighting one of them, parrying its tongue-strikes with his sword and occasionally scoring a slash against the toad’s rubbery skin. Bastion, meanwhile, was nearby, staring into the fading mists and searching for the next toad to try something funny.“Over there!” he said, pointing with his sword-tip into the fog.I glanced that way, and could only just make out a big blotch moving that way.“I’ll light it up, you get in close,” I said.“Got it,” he replied.The fog was starting to clear, bit by bit. It started almost as soon as Emmanuel and Bastion took out the first toad, which made sense. They were the ones making the fog, getting rid of them meant less monsters producing it.They were big, and their tongues were nasty, but otherwise, the toads were actually pretty weak.I jogged over to Bastion’s side, careful not to trip over anything. My attention was split as I created nine fireballs in my free hand. “Ready?”“Go,” Bastion said.I flung the fireballs towards the lumbering form in the fog, and knew I’d hit something when the toad croaked in pain.Bastion took off like a bullet, following the trails left by my fireballs with his wings beating to displace the air behind him.A moment later a big burst of fog filled the area ahead of him. He’d gotten it.I ducked down a bit and started searching for the next tentacle toad. It was getting easier to see already. With the mist clearing up, I was now able to make out the walls and the pond, and even the rooms where Howard and Amaryllis and Awen were still waiting.Amaryllis’ light balls, which she’d tossed out here and there, were helping too.If it wasn’t for those, I wouldn’t have seen the toad leaping over towards the room where I’d been with Howard. “Oh no,” I said.Was it going to try and attack my friends through the gate?I heard something go ‘clunk’ and the toad stumbled back mid-leap, then the far end of the cavern exploded with bluish light and the snap-crackle of live electricity being zapped out at something unfortunate.The tentacle toad exploded.Right, my friends could take care of themselves.I spun around, looking for another toad. Instead, I found... nothing at all.Had that been it?“Ah hah! Cur! You have been defeated by the one and only Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne!”I found Emmanuel bouncing and cheering, his hooves cracking at the stone floor while he stabbed at the air with the point of his sword.I looked over to Bastion who was casually wiping his own sword clean with a piece of cloth. “The room seems clear,” he said. “Unless there are any of them hiding within the water. I can’t sense any more danger.”I nodded, then allowed the notifications stacking up at the back of my head to ping away.Ding! Congratulations, you have made three (3) ‘Tentacle Toad,’ Level 8 croak their last! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!Nothing else? Well, I supposed that I hadn’t really used that many skills in the fight, and other than being a bit scary at first, it didn’t really feel that hard. Alone it would have been very tough, but with some help from my friends, it was easy.“We did it!” I cheered.The doors leading into the lever rooms opened and Howard and my friends stepped out.Amaryllis immediately crossed the little bridge in the middle of the room, her stomping steps leading her on a straight path towards Emmanuel. “You!” she screeched.“Pardon?” the cervid asked.Amaryllis almost ran into him with how close she stopped. She jabbed at Emmanuel’s chest with the dull side of a talon. “You are an idiot. No, that’s too kind. I know some idiots and they’re quite nice. Clever even, in their own way. You are a buffoon. An ignorant horse.”“Amaryllis,” I said.“Not now, Broccoli,” she snapped.“Miss harpy, I find this behaviour highly irregular,” Emmanuel said.“Miss... did you not even bother learning our names?!” Amaryllis shouted.I moved over to my friend and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Amaryllis, it’s okay,” I said.“It is very much not,” she said. “This twit could have gotten all of us killed.”“That’s... well, that’s true, but I’m sure he’ll learn his lesson from it, right mister Emmanuel?”The cervid stood a little taller. “Of course. Putting the lives of others at risk is unheroic.”“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. She was looking at me with naked concern. “You know that people can lie, right?”“Uh, yeah? It’s rude though.”“And you know that some people, usually clownish oafs, will believe their own lies, right?”“I don’t think that’s what Emmanuel is doing,” I said. “He’s just, um.”Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.“A dimwit? A doofus? No, he’s neither of those,” Amaryllis said. “That would imply that he’s merely a simpleton of some sort or another. Simpletons are fine as long as they stay far away from me. This man, this cervid, is a jackass.”“I am no such thing,” Emmanuel said.I shrunk back a bit. I didn’t like hearing Amaryllis talking about someone that way, even if she might be a little bit right. Emmanuel was... a bit of trouble. “Mister Emmanuel,” I said as I turned his way. “What you did was irresponsible and endangered all of us. Bastion and I had to step out to save you, which meant splitting up our group. That’s dangerous on its own. And it meant leaving Mister Howard behind. He’s a brave fishperson, but he’s not a fighter.”“Yes yes, shall we move on?”I blinked, then spoke with a bit more force to my voice. “Mister Emmanuel,” I said. “None of us are going to move on until you explain to me why what you did was wrong.”The cervid reeled his head back. “What? What sort of requirement is that?”“A really simple one. You did something that I think all of us agree was wrong, and dangerous. That kind of stuff happens sometimes, sure. I’ve done dangerous things before that I probably shouldn’t have, but I try to listen when my friends warn me about them later. I just want to make sure you understand.”Emmanuel crossed his arms. He didn’t look very pleased with things, but a glance over my shoulder showed all of my friends staring at him. “I suppose what I did wrong was... moving in without warning you all?”“Yes, and what else?” I encouraged.He looked like he'd just chewed into a lemon. “I... perhaps shouldn’t have put you at risk?”“Not just me or my friends, but yourself too. Did you hear what Howard said about the fog?”Emmanuel glanced towards Howard. “No?”I sighed. “He said that it left, on its own. If we just waited a little bit we wouldn’t have to fight at all.”“I suppose that would have been the... less brave but... perhaps least dangerous path to take,” Emmanuel admitted. “It doesn’t do for a knight to put his charges at risk when he can avoid it.”“That’s, uh... close enough, I think?” I looked to Amaryllis for confirmation.“I still think we should kick him out,” she said.I turned to my other friends.Bastion was the first to reply. “He’s serving as a great object lesson, and in a low-risk, but not riskless, environment.”“Um,” Awen began. “I think Mister Emmanuel could probably use a bit more time with Broccoli.”“Huh?”“Because he’s a little bit bad at making friends and being... nice. So, maybe we can keep him with us for a little bit more, as long as he’s learning?” Awen said. She didn’t sound entirely sure, and she hugged her crossbow close for comfort as she spoke, but I think I understood what she meant.Howard just shrugged. “I don’t rightly know. Never expected to see toads in that fog. Might explain a few things. Some folk will be glad to know. Otherwise, whether or not the cervid stays is out of my hands.”I tapped my chin. “Fine. Mister Emmanuel, you can stay with us, but I really expect you to try a little harder to remember that your actions can hurt others, alright?”The cervid smiled and nodded. “Of course!” he said.I didn’t have much confidence in that smile, but, well, I was willing to give him a chance. “Alright.” I gestured to the door at the end of the room. “Shall we continue then? Howard, is there anything we should know about the next area?”“Just a corridor,” the fishman said. “It’s a little tight at first, but it’ll bring us to the main cave. The next floor’s just around the corner after that. Looks like a little village.”“A little village?” I asked.“Like Insmouth, but not quite. Very old, and everything’s rotten out. No point in gathering much from there, unfortunately. Occasionally, we'll find a nice trinket there, but not enough to make a job of collecting them. Not when the second floor’s the way it is.”“That sounds ominous,” Awen muttered.“Aye, the second floor’s not for the faint of heart.”We formed up a bit as we moved out of the first floor. I ended up with Amaryllis walking by my side while Bastion and Emmanuel ranged out ahead.“He’s going to be trouble again,” Amaryllis said.“I know,” I said. “But just because someone is troublesome that doesn’t mean they’re not a potential friend.” My shoulder bumped against hers. “Let’s give him one last chance?”She huffed, but it was a huff that agreed with me, if only reluctantly. “You’re far more patient with people than I am.”“I know. If I wasn’t I don’t think we’d have ever become friends.”She snapped her head around. “I am nothing like him.”“Hmm,” I said before tapping my chin. “I don’t know. Noble, full of ideas about how things should be. Very rude.”She huffed very mightily. “I am not that bad.”“You’re not that bad now,” I agreed.“Nor was I ever that bad,” she said.“Eh, I don’t know.”Amaryllis shook her head. “Well, you’ve certainly improved a little too. You’re not nearly as irritating and stupid as you once were.”“Really?” I asked.She nodded. “You seem to be getting less dumb. Slowly. Exceptionally slowly. I suspect that in a few decades I might even consider you to have an average amount of common sense.”I laughed, and she joined me with her own birdy whistles. I even heard Awen giggling away behind us until I reached back and pulled her closer. The corridor was hardly so small as to require us to be split in pairs, and I wanted to have all of my friends close.We were about to face another challenge, which was the best time to keep one’s friends close!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fourteen — Planning Commitea
Chapter Two Hundred and Fourteen — Planning Commitea “The next one’s hard,” Howard said.We were out of the first floor and a good ways into the cave-like passage that Howard said cut through the entire dungeon.“It’s one that requires that you fight,” the fishman added.“We’re pretty tough in a fight,” I said. “We can work together pretty well too.”Howard gestured out ahead where the cave split. To the right was a wide, broad passageway. To the left was another path, smaller and thinner, that curved up and out of sight around a bend. “It’s to the left here. We should wait a little bit before going in. Best to know what we’re all going to be facing in there.”I agreed. “We should take a bit of a break then,” I said. “I’m not hungry or anything, but I could use something to drink. Anyone want some tea?”“A bit of tea wouldn’t be amiss,” Emmanuel said.The others seemed to agree too. Awen pulled a rolled-up blanket from her pack and set it on the ground where it was dryer, and I sat down next to her and rooted through my backpack for my kettle.Amaryllis filled it, using some neat spell to draw water out of the air. She made sure I used Cleaning magic on it afterwards too. “This place could use a few dehumidifying runes. It’s making my feathers itch.”“That must be annoying,” Awen said. “I can’t stand it when my scalp is itchy.”Amaryllis hummed. “Having hair must be a pain, it’s so long. I imagine it gets everywhere. Does plucking it hurt?”“Yeah,” I said. “Don’t your feathers hurt when you pull them?”“It depends, of course. A properly groomed harpy will ensure that any broken or bent feathers are plucked. It stings a little, but it also feels kind of nice? I never really thought about it. Hard to describe, I suppose.”“Like picking at a scab?” I asked.“No, that’s disgusting Broccoli.”Bastion sat down across from us with a heavy sigh. “I have some biscuits,” he said as he reached into his own pack. “Better than the rations we get in the army, but not by much.”“I’m sure they’re fine,” I said. It was going to take a minute or two for the tea to warm up. I was going for a mixed herbal tea. Some ginger which I’d bought along the way, and some dried lemongrass. It had an interesting smell, at once bitter and citrus-y. “Hey, Bastion, you have wings, right?”Bastion looked at me, then glanced to his side where his wings were fluttering a bit. “Yes?”“What’s that like? Do you need to do special stuff for them?”“Not really? They’re surprisingly robust. Harder to cut into than skin, but a lot more brittle. There aren’t any bones in a sylph’s wings, unlike a bird’s. The only maintenance is keeping them washed. You won’t see too many sylph’s in drier places either; it makes our wings feel fragile. Warm is fine, just not dry.”“Huh,” I said. “That’s cool! How do you wash them though?” I imagined someone trying to twist around this way and that. I could only just touch the middle of my back, and I was pretty sure my Flexibility stat was cheating that for me.“Communal showers, though you can do a good job of it yourself with a sponge on a stick.”“There’s sponges here?” I asked.“Yes?” Bastion asked. “They’re from the ocean?”“Oh,” I said. I felt silly. Time for a change of subject! “So, Howard, what can you tell us about the next floor?”Howard had found a little bump on the floor to sit on. His legs splayed out a little, with his pipe on one thigh and a little pouch which he was fiddling in on the other. Refilling his pipe again? I supposed smoking was kind of a complicated process. And probably not that great for anyone’s health, but I wasn’t going to throw stones from my glass balcony.“Next one’s tough,” he said. “There’s no end to the monsters in it, not that they’re too much of a challenge.”“What are we facing?” Bastion asked.“We call them Mist-folk,” Howard said.“That’s both mysterious and ominous,” I said as I started to pour the tea out into some tin cups. The vapours from the tea wafted up and fought with the damp air to be the strongest smell around. “What’s a Mist-folk? Are they nice?”“Afraid they aren’t,” Howard said.I gave everyone their cups. Emmanuel hunched down so that he was laying on his tummy on the far end of Awen’s blanket from us. He took his cup carefully in both hands. “Thank you,” he said.He could be nice when he wanted to!I sniffed at my tea, then inspected it.Ginger and lemongrass tea, to soothe stress and inflammations, and help fight back against infections.I took a sip and let the warmth seep into me. It was nice, really nice.“The Mist-folk are the challenge to the floor,” Howard said. “To exit you need to open the locks on an old well at the far end of the town. To get the keys, you need to fight and win against a Mist-folk. There’s one key for every person that walks into the floor.”“So we need to fight six of them?” Awen asked. “Are they hard to fight?”“They’re not, and yep, six of them,” Howard said. He finished pushing something into his pipe, then lit it with a flick of his fingers. He knew a bit of magic then. “It’s more complicated than that. See, if you go in as a group, you’ll never get to the end of town. Not for lack of trying. Just... the town ain’t normal. You’ll walk to the end of the street and find yourself back at the start. Moving through some doors in a house will land you in another house across the town. Sometimes you’ll turn the same corner four or five times and never get anywhere. Only way for things to be normal is to have a key.”Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.The fishman leaned forwards and scratched something onto the ground, the Eldersign he’d mentioned.“That’s cut into the side of every key. They have triangular heads.”“So, we wander around, find six Mist-folk, convince them to give us their keys, then we’re good?” I asked.Howard shook his head. “They won’t show up if you’re not alone. The town will try to split us apart too.”“Oh,” I said.That was actually kind of scary.“Now, the Mist-folk, they’re clever in their own way. They’ll look like one of us. You won’t be meeting yourself, you’ll be meeting your friends. Might even really be your friends, the town will throw you back together sometimes.”“They’ll look like Broccoli and Amaryllis?” Awen asked.“Like any one of us,” Howard said. He puffed at his pipe. “They’ll talk, be real convincing.”I frowned. That sounded like trouble. “We could use a codeword? To tell who is who?”Howard shook his head. “They’ll use it. Don’t rightly know how it works. We always just figured they could read your mind, tell you what you want to hear from your friend.”“Wait, wait,” I said, raising a biscuit-filled hand to pause the fishman. “We need to fight monsters that look like our friends?”He nodded. “That’s the whole of it. Hard to tell whether they’re a friend or not. There’re some tricks. Asking the Mist-folk to use magic or abilities they don’t know. Or you can smell them. They don’t have a smell.”“I don’t want to be sniffed,” I said.“You probably don’t even have a smell,” Amaryllis said. “What with the amount of Cleaning magic you use.”Howard shrugged. “It’s a trick that’s worked before. Miss Bunch has her Cleaning magic, if you meet her, ask her to clean something. Not yourself. That’s asking for trouble. They can use offensive magic, and will attack if you lower your guard.”“That’s awful,” I said.“We should organize things then,” Bastion said. “Broccoli’s Cleaning magic is hard to reproduce. Amaryllis, you have your own interesting sort of magic, as does Awen.”Amaryllis nodded. “If I see anyone, I’ll zap first and ask questions later.”“Um,” I said.“A small zap.”“Ah, I have glass magic,” Awen said. She raised her hand, focused very hard, and a piece of glass appeared in her palm, at first just a tiny thing, like a diamond, but it grew in fits and starts, wrapping around and forming into a small crystalline ring. “Would that work?”“Might have to let anyone you meet pick up the glass to inspect it,” Howard said. He shook his pipe. “This is my trick for this floor.”“Oh, it smells strong,” I said.He nodded.“I am not certain as to what I could do,” Emmanuel said. “I suppose it would be hard for anything to copy my grandeur.”“Hmph,” Amaryllis said. “Just stab any cervid you see. Mist-folk don’t bleed, right?”“They don’t,” Howard confirmed.“O-one moment,” Emmanuel said.Bastion hummed. “I’m not sure what I could do. I don’t have any particularly flashy skills, and many of my skills rely on me having a weapon in hand, which isn’t something you’d want to see in a negotiation.”I sighed, downed the last of my tea, then stood up. Everyone else seemed to be done too. “I guess we’ll just have to be careful then,” I said. “Bastion, if we meet a monster that looks like you, we’ll attack it first. Just don’t resist, okay?”“That... is very much not something I want to test,” Bastion said.“We won’t attack you to hurt you,” I said. “Just to poke you a bit. Like, uh, your leg?”Bastion stared, one eyebrow rising. “We’ll see,” he said.“Great!”We packed things up. Awen took her blanket back and we made sure not to leave any trash behind. It wouldn't be nice to make everything all dirty, especially not for the next people who would come down to visit.“Does anyone want a hug before we go on?” I asked.“Your new buffing skill?” Bastion asked. “I noticed the minor buff with the tea. Interesting, but not entirely useful in this particular situation.”“I don’t really have the time to find great teas,” I said. “But one day I’ll find some great ones that’ll do all sorts of things. Anyways, hugging is my new skill. It doesn’t make you stronger, but it does make you feel better.”“Better how?” Emmanuel asked.“Well... like a hug normally does, I guess?”The cervid shifted a bit. “I think I’ll pass.”Awen was quick to raise her arms for a hug when I looked her way, so she got the first squeeze. Then it was Amaryllis’ turn, because she liked hugs even if she always made a fuss about it and tried to look all tough.“Do you want one, Bastion, Howard?”“I’m a bit old for hugs from pretty young misses,” Howard said with a grin. “But thank you.”“I think I’m well enough without,” Bastion declined.I nodded. There was no pushing hugs on people. “Right, let’s go!”Howard took the lead, taking the leftmost path with careful steps. I was a bit worried, he was a little on the older side, even if he was still very spry.The cave opened up onto a beach, with water lapping at the shore, and a half moon hanging in the sky above. The air smelled of seaweed and that sorta salty fishy smell that the ocean always had.Not too far away was a little shack, and, beyond that, a path that led away from the beach and up a small cliff to a town overlooking the calm waters.We’d made it to the second floor.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifteen — Un Mist Takeable
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifteen — Un Mist Takeable “I really don’t want to split up,” I admitted.Howard actually nodded, even though he was the one that told us we’d have to. “I know what you mean. But it makes it easier.”I scrunched my nose in distaste. I didn’t want to be apart from my friends. “How?” I asked.The fishman scratched at his rubbery neck. “If you go with someone, you’ll be split up anyway. One moment you’ll glance away, and your partner will be replaced by the Mist-folk. You’ll look back, and they’ll be right where you think they are. Then they’ll attack you. Same for your friend. They’ll be following you. Between one step and the next, they’ll walk through a door and be in another part of the town, or they’ll turn a corner and be alone.”I shivered. That was way too spooky.Amaryllis patted me on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine,” she said before walking past me. “Come on. I’d like to get this entire thing over with sooner rather than later.” With that, the harpy moved on ahead of us, aiming for a staircase cut into the side of the hill leading into the town.I sighed. “Fine,” I said. “We just need to get some keys and wait by some well, right?” I asked.Howard nodded. “Just keep walking, you’ll get there eventually. And remember not to trust anyone.”I grumbled a bit at that, and jogged up to follow Amaryllis. The others followed after me too. It was a bit strange that we were talking about having to split up, but were all bunched together while climbing the stairs.This whole thing felt very forced, and I didn’t like it one bit.So, maybe I was in a bit of a grumpy mood when I reached the top of the stairs and looked over the town.It didn’t even have a name, as far as I knew. It was just a little fishing town, with sparse woods around it, and some three dozen homes dotted here and there around a crooked road.“Stay safe,” Awen said.“Indeed. If you’re in any sort of trouble, just call, and Emmanuel shall be there!”I nodded, mostly to Awen. “We’ll see each other in a little bit,” I said.I stepped up ahead of everyone. I might not like... anything about this, but I was still our sorta-leader. I had to set the example, and it wouldn’t do for that example to include me being very grumpy.Now, if this dungeon ended up hurting my friends, I’d be showing it what-for, that was for sure.I slowed down as I reached the main road. It wasn’t all that wide. Maybe some three metres across. Too narrow for car traffic, but maybe not for carts and horses and such. The ground was shrouded in a thin mist, only-just tall enough to reach my ankles.“This isn’t that spooky,” I said. I’d seen worse watching horror movies just before my bedtime.I glanced back and saw my friends moving behind me. They were keeping a few paces between each other, but we were hardly split up yet.Sighing, I put my spade over my shoulder, made sure my bag was on snug, then started walking ahead.The homes were wooden, with fronts made of overlapping bare planks. The windows were broken on a few homes, and it looked like there were some flickering candles in some others. Mostly, it looked like the houses here needed a lot of maintenance.It looked... fine? A bit boring even.I reached the middle of the street and looked back. Awen was half a dozen metres behind me. She noticed me looking, then waved. “Um, hi?”“Hey,” I murmured. “Did the others go down other roads?”She blinked, then looked behind her. “Oh.”“Uh,” I said. “I guess we keep going?”“Yes?”I nodded. “Okay.”“Right.”We both hesitated. Then Awen took a deep breath, balled her fists, and walked past me. I watched her go until she turned a corner. Then she was gone. Her footsteps on the gravelly road cut off between one step and the next, and suddenly I was alone in a bubble of silence.My grip on my spade tightened.I started to look around again. There was something off about the town. Not just the general B-movie creepy vibes I was getting.The house to my right didn’t have a door. It had steps leading up to a wall that looked like it should have had a door, but there was just more wall. The lights in one of the houses across the street were flickering, just the normal waver of a candle flame, but the shadow cast by that light on the ground was perfectly steady.“Okay, I’ll give it to you, that is a bit creepy,” I said to the town. “Like, more uncanny than really creepy though. I’m not spooked, I’m just kind of confused.”The town, of course, didn’t say much to that.I shrugged and walked on while raising my hand to my side. I cast one of my favourite spells, Fireball. The small globe of burning light helped illuminate the town a little better. Of course, the shadows moved in the wrong direction as I walked.I rolled my eyes. That was a bit overdone.Someone screamed. Amaryllis!My heart thudded in my chest, almost as if trying to escape from my throat, then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.“Stupid dungeon,” I muttered. “Amaryllis is too proud to scream. Maybe if it was Awen... or Emmanuel.”I was in quite a huff.I stomped ahead. I didn’t like being in a bad mood, but this place was pressing all of my buttons. I’d just have to find one of those Mist-folk and give them what-for.I spun around a corner, and squeaked to a stop just before bumping into someone coming my way.Amaryllis and I stared at each other. “I heard you scream,” she said.“I heard you scream,” I replied. “But I’m pretty sure it was a fake thing.”‘Yes, a fake thing,” she said. Her eyes narrowed. “Say, Broccoli, I happen to have a bit of mud on my shoes.”Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.I looked down. Her feet weren’t visible through the mist on the ground. Also, Amaryllis didn’t wear shoes. “Uh.”“I want you to use Cleaning magic, you dolt,” she said.“Oh, right,” I said. I had my spade in one hand and a fireball in the other. That made it a bit awkward to use magic. Then again, I didn’t need to use my hands for something like Cleaning magic. I just poured more mana into my aura and let it wash over Amaryllis.She rubbed at her jacket where there might have been a stain. “Right, so you’re real. Now I just need to confirm that I’m real too.”“Right,” I said.She looked pretty real to me.Amaryllis huffed a sort of impatient ‘why do I have to do this’ kind of huff, then she flicked her hand out to me. A little wire shot out from her talons and wrapped itself around my wrist.“Huh,” I said. “That was neat. I didn’t know you were getting that good with your puppetry stuff.”“I’ve been practicing,” she said. “Now, that obviously isn’t enough proof.”“It isn’t?” I asked. Could the Mist-folk fake wire and that kind of fluid control? I wasn’t fighting it or anything, of course. Still, it was very impressive.“Sorry,” she said.Three jolts of magic zipped along the wires and snapped at me. It was like touching a handle after walking on a carpet with wooly socks on, but at three places at once. “Ow!” I said. It didn’t really hurt much, but it was surprising.“There, that should be sufficient proof.”“I believed you were real already,” I muttered with a pout.“Yes, but you’re an idiot,” she said. Her wrist twitched and the wire came apart.“How do you do that?”“Wirework. I haven’t quite gotten it to where I want it, but it’s at disciple now. Quite handy.”“Cool,” I said. “So we’re both real!”She shook her head. “You say it as if you doubted your own real...ism?”I shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder. So, uh, now what?”“I haven’t gotten a key yet. I think we continue on our way. Find one of those Mist-folk and kill them. Basically, do what Howard told us to.”“Right... Hug for the road?”Amaryllis was a much better hugger when no one else was around. We broke up, and we both reluctantly continued our trek. Amaryllis went around the corner I’d just come from, and when I peeked around, it led to a different part of the town.Annoying.I continued onwards. The moon above made the mist hovering over everything shine a rather pretty silver. If I forgot that I was in a creepy dungeon without my friends, it was almost nice. Like heading out to take a stroll.I was bored within a minute.Broccoli Bunch was not an impatient sort of girl, but this whole thing was frustrating to the point that it really stretched my patience.“Come on, silly dungeon, do something,” I said.“A strange thing to ask.”I jumped and looked around. I’d wandered into an alleyway, somehow. I had been going down a street and... maybe I wasn’t paying all that much attention. Was there something in the air that made it hard to focus, or was it just part of the dungeon’s illusion? Was it an illusion? Howard hadn’t been clear on that.I shook my head and looked around, until I saw Bastion coming out of a door set in the middle of the alley wall. A weird place for a door, but then everything was weird here.“Hey,” I said.“Hello,” he replied. “I heard you. So far the only sounds I’ve heard on this floor are calls for help. Well, and one conversation with a Mist-folk.”“You found one?” I asked.I eyed Bastion up and down, but the sylph didn’t look unusual. He smiled a bit, and tugged a small key from a pouch. “I did. A false Howard approached me.”“Oh, well done!” I said. I grinned at him, then brought my spade around. “I’m going to stab you now, okay?”Bastion stared. “Ah, right. I had forgotten about that. Could you maybe verify your own identity first?”That was fair. To identify me, no one had to be stabbed.I looked for something dirty, found that nearly everything was, then let loose a burst of Cleaning magic at the nearest wall. The dust and grime peeled off. “Taa-daa,” I said.Bastion nodded. “Very well. Now, about this stabbing, could you perhaps not?”“Nope, sorry,” I said with a bit of a cringe. “It really is the only way to know. Reach your hand out, I can just make a small cut. It’ll be a clean cut, so it’ll heal just fine.”Bastion sighed and reached an arm out towards me. “There,” he said.I smiled at him, set my spade against the wall, then left my fireball hovering in the air. The last was a bit tricky, but I managed.I had a little camp knife in my bandoleer, which I removed as I approached Bastion and leaned down over his hand. “Just a little cut,” I said.“Quickly then,” he said. “This place is dangerous.”I nodded, then swiped my knife forward.Bastion’s finger bled fog.I gasped and moved to turn back, but Bastion’s form was already shifting, billowing out into a thin monster with long claws. “Die,” it said in Bastion’s voice before its arms came swiping down.I jumped up, ramming my forehead into the monster’s face with a dull crack.It stumbled back, which allowed me to reach back with my mana and fling my fireball forwards.The Mist-folk danced around it, then leapt at me again.This time I was a little more ready, and when it came close, it earned my shoe in its face.The monster stumbled back, wavered, then puffed into mist.Ding! Congratulations, you have swept away ‘Mist Taken One’ Level 8!A key clinked to the ground, and I found myself standing there, panting with my heart beating like a bunny that had seen a hawk.“I really don’t like this place,” I swore.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixteen — Imposter Syndrome
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixteen — Imposter Syndrome I continued to walk through the town, eyes and ears peeled for any sort of trouble.The fake Bastion hadn’t really hurt me much, but it did surprise me. Worse, it had made me think of a friend as an enemy, which.... My hands shook.... This was the worst dungeon floor I'd ever been in. If I could give dungeons ratings, I’d give this one a six out of ten and leave a very polite note about how it was maybe better to find another dungeon to visit.When I saw my friends in town, I made sure to avoid them. Oh, sure, I looked to see if they were hurt or anything. It wouldn’t make sense to ignore an actual friend if they were injured, but otherwise I kept my chances of running into an evil faking faker low by just avoiding everyone.I was in something of a foul mood as I stomped from the main road, through an alley, then back onto the main road.I encountered a wide-eyed Awen in the middle of the road. She stared at me, her hammer held in both hands before her.“I’m just going to continue walking,” I told her. “That way, if you’re a monster, it won’t be a problem, and you’ll know that I’m not a monster too, okay?”Awen’s lower lip trembled, and she nodded. “Oh-okay.”I didn’t walk away. “Are you alright?”Awen nodded, but it was the sort of very quick nod someone made when they were not alright.“What happened?” I asked.“Awa, n-nothing important, it’s okay, awa.”She was awa-ing. Awen had been doing that less and less lately. I figured it had been an anxious tic that she had been losing as she grew more confident. If she was doing it again, then she might need a hug or something really badly.I placed my hands on my hips and moved a bit closer. Awen shied back. “Nope, something’s wrong,” I said. “Did something hurt you? We can find it and make it apologize.”Awen shook her head, then paused and nodded. She took a small step back when I came closer, and I felt my heart sink at the gesture.“Okay, so first, I need to prove that I’m me, is that okay?” I asked.Awen hesitated. “Okay.”“Right. So... uh.” I looked around for something to clean, then shrugged. I poured a good chunk of my mana into a big burst of Cleaning magic that swept out around me. It even reached Awen where she stood. The mist crawling on the ground was pushed back and Awen froze up, then her shoulders slumped.“You’re really Broccoli?” she asked.“I’m really really Broccoli,” I confirmed.Awen shuffled forwards, then stopped. “Oh, right. Ah.” She raised a hand, pulling it free from her hammer’s haft, and focused. Magic spun around over her palm and shaped itself into a little marble of fractured glass. “Here?” She tossed it underhand at me.I caught the glass ball out of the air and glanced at it. Yup, it was a bit of glass.I shoved that in a pocket and walked right up to Awen, both arms circling around her to pull her into the biggest, tightest hug I could.“It’s really you,” she said a moment before crumbling into the hug.“Yup,” I whispered. I brought a hand up and started brushing her hair back while she buried her face in the crook of my neck. “It’s me, it’s okay.”Awen didn’t cry-she was one tough cookie-but it sure felt as if she was tempted to. She held her hammer in one hand and used the other to return the hug. “I saw people, and there were two of them. It was you and Amaryllis.”“Oh,” I said.“They said hi, and I thought it was really you. Mister Howard never said there could be more than one fake, and Amaryllis used lightning magic.”How? I thought that the Mist-folk couldn’t do that? Then again, if they could create an illusion of a person, why not some sparks and shiny lights? “It’s okay,” I said.“You attacked me,” she said, her grip growing stronger.“No no,” I said. “I’d never do that, you know I’d never.”She nodded. “I know.”We held each other for a bit until Awen felt ready to pull back. She sniffed, and wiped her eyes quickly. “I’m sorry.”“No, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” I said. “I really, really don’t like this place. We’re staying together from now on, okay?”Awen nodded. “Okay. I have a key.”“So do I,” I said. “We’ll be fine.”I made a point of holding onto Awen’s hand as we continued to walk. Just a slow walk, with Awen’s grip on my hand nice and strong. I made sure to keep an eye on her too. If this dungeon thought it was going to split me from my friends again... well I'd give it one heck of a talking to.Maybe the dungeon sensed my mood, because we turned a corner and arrived in a small courtyard with no mist and plenty of room. In the middle was a hip-high well, with a little roof atop it, and Howard and Bastion sitting nearby.I felt Awen’s grip tighten.“No need to worry,” Howard said. “This is the well. You both have keys?”I nodded, not entirely trusting that he was real. Beyond them was a small fence with big bushes on the other side, then... not much at all. The village ended here and there was only a small road and the start of a forest beyond.Howard took out his pipe and puffed at it, the scent wafting over to us in moments.“You smell real,” I said.Howard nodded. “Aye, I would hope so.”“Do we verify if they’re real?” Bastion asked.The last time I saw him, he was a mist monster, so I was still a little guarded.“You can,” Howard said. “But the Mist-folk never come close to the well, in my experience. Won’t attack folk with a key as much either, but that’s not always the case.”Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.I sighed, then fired a ball of Cleaning magic at the well. The side had a bit of moss and dirt on it, all of which faded away once my magic wore off. “Is that enough?”Bastion nodded. “It should be,” he said.I nodded back, good. Then I threw my spade at him.The sylph batted it out of the air, then shifted into a fighting stance, all in the time it would take me to blink. “What was that for?” he asked.“To make sure you’re you,” I said. “The last Bastion I saw tried to claw me.”“I... don’t have claws?” he tried.“It was weird,” I said. I pulled Awen along with me to one side. Not as close to the others as I might have. Not because I was afraid for myself, more because Awen didn’t seem to be in a mood or state to fight in. Plus, she needed more hugs and maybe some more alone-time. “Amaryllis and Emmanuel haven’t shown up?” I asked.Howard and Bastion both shook their heads. “No, not yet,” Howard said. “Could take a bit. Depends on how cautious they are.”That made sense, until I considered how cautious Amaryllis and Emmanuel were. A rock of worry formed in my tummy, just under my ribcage. Had something happened to Amaryllis?Something moved near the entrance to the little courtyard with the well. I stood a little taller, expecting to see Amaryllis stepping out of the mist. Instead, it was Emmanuel.“Ah-hah! More foul villains for me to fight?” the cervid asked. He brought his sword up in a high guard stance. “Trying to trick me with more of you won’t work.”“It’s us,” Bastion said. “If you don’t believe it, test it.”“I’ll test you with my blade, misty monster!”Bastion sighed as he walked up to Emmanuel. He slapped the cervid’s sword aside, then slapped the man in the face. He had to hover up with his wings to get enough height for it, but that only made it funnier.Emmanuel’s expression didn’t help.“There, now you know that we’re both solid, at least,” Bastion said.I held back a giggle as Emmanuel rubbed at his cheek. “You slapped me?” he asked.“Do you need another to make sure?” Bastion asked.I felt Awen bouncing a bit by my side, and a look her way revealed her chewing on the inside of her cheek to hold in the laughs.Emmanuel blinked a few times, pouted in a way that didn’t suit a grown cervid at all, then trotted off with a huff to stand nearer to us. “Fine. I suppose it was the only way to test things. Are you young ladies real as well?”“Yup,” I said.“Are we all here then?” Emmanuel asked. He fished out a little key from one of the pouches hanging by his... actually, I wasn’t sure if it counted as a hip or not. I’d need to ask a cervid one day, but someone more... less Emmanuel.“No, not yet,” Howard said. “We’re missing the young harpy lass.”“Oh,” Emmanuel said. “Well, perhaps she’s in need of a dashing, gallant sir to rescue her?”Bastion sighed. “Lacking one of those, perhaps we should consider what to do if she doesn’t arrive soon. Howard, any ideas?”Howard leaned back and looked at the well. “Still six keyholes, which means she’s likely still fine.”"Oh." I exhaled. Weird, I hadn't noticed how hard it had become to breathe. "Good."I was just about to ask Bastion what ideas he did have for saving Amaryllis. As relieved as I was, the thought of one of my best friends being in trouble still worried me, when the bird in question stumbled out of the mist.“Amaryllis!” I said. I let go of Awen and jumped over to the harpy.Amaryllis stumbled to the side, almost falling onto me. I felt warm blood seep into my shirt.“What happened?”She managed a huff. “What do you think happened?” she asked. Then she blinked. “You’re really Broccoli, right?”“Yeah,” I said. I squeezed her a bit, both because she needed a hug, and just to make sure. It would very much be like this floor to fake an injured friend. It didn’t matter in the end, Amaryllis was nice and solid.“What are your injuries?” Bastion asked as he moved over to us. He already had a potion in hand, the stopper off.“One of those disgusting mist things got the drop on me. There was more than one,” Amaryllis said.“I’m hardly too injured, but, as it turns out, lightning just cuts through them, and wires do nothing against things made of angry fog. I think the cuts are too thin, then just recombined.”She snapped the potion out of Bastion’s hand and downed it in a swig.I backed off to see how badly she was hurt. It looked, at a glance, like she had been cut across the arm, just past the elbow and where her arm was covered in long feathers. Another spot was cut, her blouse under her leather coat, which was left open at the front.“Let me clean you off,” I said. It wouldn’t do to get an infection.Amaryllis sighed and leaned my way a little. She wasn’t looking at me, but I could read my friends well enough.“I hope you don’t mind, I’m in a hug-lots sort of mood,” I said as I hugged her close.She huffed a ‘I’ll pretend that I do mind, thank-you-very-much’ sort of huff.“We should get ready to leave,” I said. “I think we’re all very tired of being here, and could probably use a bit of a break.”Howard nodded and stood up with a crack from his knees. “I won’t disagree with you there, miss,” he said. “Come on everyone, hand me your keys.”I tossed him mine, Awen gave hers, and Amaryllis dropped hers in the fishman’s hand. Then Awen joined us and I pulled her into a side hug while we all watched Howard fumble with the locks set into the wellcap.When he pulled it off, I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, we could leave this floor. And good riddance too. I stomped over to the ladder and climbed out of there.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventeen — Colourless Green Ideas Slither Furiously
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventeen — Colourless Green Ideas Slither Furiously I was the first one down the ladder through the well and into the dungeon's central cave, mostly owing to the fact that I had a skirt, and it would be a bit rude to have someone go first.Emmanuel came last. He was very much not built for ladders, so it was strange seeing him climb down, all six limbs working carefully to hang onto the ladder until he twisted around and jumped off to land on solid ground.Amaryllis created a couple of lights to supplement the glowing mushrooms and moss and such, and we all kind of just... decompressed for a bit.“That was awful,” I said.“It can be a tough one,” Howard said. “But if we’re all here, that means that none of us are Mist-folk. They can’t leave their floor.”“So we all made it out alive and hale,” Bastion said. “Other than one minor injury.”“Hardly much of an injury,” Amaryllis said.I think that her pride was bruised a bit more than her flesh.“We should relax for a bit,” I said. “I need it.”“I suppose,” Emmanuel replied. “Though I am looking forward to a bit more of a challenge.”I didn’t. That last floor had been terrible. “I hope the next floor isn't so rude,” I said.Awen pat me on the back. “It’ll be okay. Do you want to make some tea?” she asked.No one seemed to think that was a bad idea, so we found a spot nearby that was nice and flat, laid down some blankets and sat around for a bit of tea. Bastion let me use the water in one of his waterskins, and I set out the little tin mugs I carried with me on the ground while the water came to a slow boil.“Do you have a lot of trouble with that last floor?” I asked Howard.“No, not really,” Howard said. “But then, most of the time we’re no more than three. Not all of us are close friends too. The occasional undeserved slap is the worst that usually happens, though it can take a while to get through the floor. Sometimes the town keeps shifting around and you can get mighty lost.”“Huh,” I said. “It was really hard for us. Well, at least for me.”“Different folk have different challenges,” Howard said. “Didn’t expect it, else I’d have tried to prepare more things for the floor. Maybe give you all some pickled fish to carry in your pockets.” I wasn’t the only one giving him a strange look. “For the smell.”“Oh,” I said.Bastion took his cup when I handed it over. “The next floor, what can you tell us about it?”“Third floor. That one’s interesting,” Howard said. “Not usually a problem. The challenge is fairly straightforward, most of the time. There’s a bit of fighting, though. That wasn’t always the case.”Emmanuel perked up at that. “Fighting?”“Yep. The next floor opens up in this cave with a sort of castle in it. Some folk call it a mansion, but I don’t rightly think anyone from Insmouth has seen a mansion before. Used to be that the monsters outside it would leave you alone, but they’ve grown aggressive since that root settled in. Big squid-like creatures. Not an easy fight, but not too tough either. Those that aren’t aggressive should just be left to mind their own.”“Is that the whole of it?” I asked. Awen sipped her tea and made a bit of a face, so I rooted around for some honey in my pack. I still had a little somewhere.“No, no. The challenge is inside the castle,” Howard said. “There’s a creature, a grand monster, incomprehensible to gaze upon. He has more eyes than there are stars in the sky, and his grasp reaches across his domain.”I swallowed.“His name is Jim, and he wants to have tea and talk,” Howard continued.I paused, my teacup by my lips. “Huh?”The fishman shrugged. “I’m being honest. The monster wants you to sit down at his table and talk. He is very polite, but you need to answer his questions.” Howard shifted. “You need to answer them honestly. He will often ask very probing questions. They can make things quite awkward. But it’s better to be honest than to fight him.”“That sounds like a lot of fun,” I said. “We just need to answer some questions?”“And do some small talk,” Howard said. “It’s not a problem if you’re bad at it. Jim’s good at teasing things out. Once we’re done, we can walk out the back of the castle and into the next part of the cavern. Then it’s on to the final floor.”“No tricks?” I asked.“None that we ever noticed,” Howard said.Amaryllis hummed. “Not the strangest floor challenge I’ve heard of. Perhaps it’s fitting, seeing as how the second floor was so difficult.”“This floor’s fairly new,” Howard said. “The newest this dungeon’s gotten.”“How often do dungeons get new floors?” I asked. “And where do they appear?”Howard shrugged. “Can’t speak for other dungeons, but Insmouth’s had two floors when we arrived. The second floor that we have now arrived when my dad was young, and this third floor appeared some five or so years back.”“What do you mean by ‘where do they appear?’” Amaryllis asked. “Obviously, the answer is ‘in the dungeon.”“No, I mean, in which order. Does a new floor always appear between the boss’s floor and the floor before that?”“Ah,” Amaryllis shook her head. “No, they’ll appear in any order. I don’t think there’s a pattern to it. Or if there is a pattern, it’s likely unique to each dungeon.”“Neat,” I said. I cleaned my cup, and rattled my kettle to confirm that it was empty. “We’ll be drinking a lot of tea today, huh?” I asked.We packed things up, and I made sure to take a second to check on Amaryllis, just to confirm she was really fine. Bastion’s bandages were holding up nicely, and a bit of Cleaning magic ensured that we didn’t need to replace them just yet. The potion seemed to have done the trick.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.Amaryllis tried to shrug me off, of course, but only for show.“Just over here,” Howard said as we continued down the tunnel. The path forked again, and this time Howard led us to the right, down a passage that spiraled a ways into the dark.“Anything you can tell us about the monsters on this floor? The ones we’re likely to have to fight?” Bastion asked.“They’re tall, many-tentacled beasts. Strange colour to them; makes your eyes hurt to look too long. Otherwise, fairly weak if you get into a fight. Good range, on account of all the tentacles, but weak and slow.”“That’s a nice change,” I said. “Are they smart?”“Smart? No more than a dog, I figure,” Howard said.The path curved and Howard slowed down. “It’s just in there. You might want to be ready.” The old fishman patted his pouches down, then tugged out a knife from his belt. It was one of those knives with a hook on the end, for cutting ropes. “Some of them will run right for us.”“Right,” I said. “Bastion, Emmanuel, can you take the flanks? Awen and Amaryllis are good at range. I’ll be in the middle with Howard. Call out if you need any help!”We rearranged ourselves quickly. I hefted my spade, and followed Howard into the third floor, expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.The third floor was a cavern. A huge one, with a ceiling so high that I could only-just make it out. A hole to one side let in a thick beam of bright light, filtered by a canopy of leaves and vines that dyed a portion of the light pale green.The floor was as rocky as I expected, though there was a big area that had been smoothed by time and water, which had collected into a stagnant basin near the back.And then there was the castle.I could see why someone would call it a mansion. The building sticking out of the wall had plenty of wide windows and it just looked more like a very prestigious and rich home than it did some sort of fortification. It was made entirely of stone, the same rock that made up the walls all around us. The front, where a garden might have been on a more normal home, was filled with stone spikes as tall as I was jutting out of the ground, and the back and sides of the building merged seamlessly into the cavern walls.Movement had me turning away from that and focusing instead on... things.Howard had described them rather poorly. The monsters here, if they were really monsters, were tall and lithe, with long robes that trailed on the ground around them and hats with wide brims that cast deep shadows over their faces.There were maybe a dozen of them, dotted out across the room.One noticed us, then started to walk closer.No, not walk. It was... sliding?I took a moment of observing to figure it out. The monster wasn’t wearing any sort of robe. Its ‘robe’ was entirely made up of thick tentacles, layered over each other and draping down to its... well, where its feet would be if it didn’t just have more tentacles.It was really dark, or maybe more of a purple? I narrowed my eyes and tried to decide what colour the monster was, but I couldn’t make it out. It was definitely a colour. Either yellow or pink. It wasn’t changing colours either, it was just-“Don’t stare too much, lass,” Howard said.“Right,” I muttered with a shake of my head.A Colourless of Insmouth, agitated, level 10.“Get ready,” Bastion said. We formed a rough line, with Howard stepping back a bit, and both Bastion and Emmanuel coming to the front.I cleared my throat and lowered my spade. “Hello Mister Colourless. My name is Broccoli. We’re just here to see the core, would you min— eep!” I hopped back as the front of the monster’s robes split and a long, rope-like tendril... kind of flopped in my general direction?If it was supposed to be a whip, then it was a whip flicked by someone who didn’t work out very much.“Huh,” I said.Bastion and Emmanuel both shot forwards and skewered the Colourless with the points of their swords.It proceeded to flop onto the ground, dead.“That was... underwhelming,” I said.“They’re not very good in a fight,” Howard said.“More of them are coming,” Amaryllis pointed out.A glance deeper in the room revealed five had broken away from the main group, all slithering and wobbling our way. Sometimes their ‘hats’ would rise enough that I could make out the big, cuttlefish-like eyes underneath.The rest of the Colourless were standing here and there, minding their own business.“Weird,” I said.“Free experience,” Amaryllis countered. Her hand flashed out and a beam of crackling light speared out ahead, twisted in the air, and crashed into one of the monsters, sending it reeling back even as sparks danced across its oily skin.I didn’t know how to feel about that. Then again, I was pretty miffed at the dungeon.“Oh hoh! A fight then!” Emmanuel said. He immediately broke formation and ran ahead, sword swinging above his head.“Wait!” Bastion called back. “That idiot.”I heard Awen sigh before she raised her crossbow. “Sorry Broc,” she said.“What for?” I asked.“I know you wanted to try talking first,” Awen said. “It’s a good thing, but I don’t think it would have worked here.”“Oh,” I said. “Yeah.”Awen smiled, then she fired a bolt with a dull thump and one of the Colourless flopped to the ground.I sighed. At least it was better than the last floor. Much better.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighteen — Inquiring Mind Wants to Know
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighteen — Inquiring Mind Wants to Know Once the last of the Colourless was down and fading into little motes of-was it mana?-we took a moment to look around us and make sure that we were safe.Well, I did that. Emmanuel stretched his shoulder and started trotting towards the other Colourless in the room.“Hey!” I said out loud. Then, when he didn’t even slow down, I called out, a bit louder. “Emmanuel, what are you doing?”The cervid stopped and half-turned. He gestured to the other Colourless, as if it was entirely obvious. “I’m going to fight those?” he said.“Why?” I asked.“Because... they’re monsters?” He tried. I think he noticed how that didn’t work very well on me. “It would be irresponsible for a knight like myself to allow such fair maidens to come to danger because I left some beast alive when I could so easily dispatch it.”I put my hands on my hips, and noticed that Amaryllis looked just as unimpressed as I felt. “Mister Emmanuel,” I began.“Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne.”“Yes,” I said. “We might be fair, and we might all be maidens, but that doesn’t mean we’re defenceless.”“Well, yes, I suppose,” he said. “How about we split them, then? I’ll take the largest and strongest, and you ladies fight the smallest and weakest. Sirs Howard and... the sylph can take care of some of the others while I’m otherwise preoccupied.”I shook my head. “No.”“No?”“No,” I said.“I see... the experience-”I shook my head even harder. “No, Emmanuel, it’s not about the experience. It’s about doing the right thing.” I gestured to the Colourless. The tentacled creatures were ambling about, moving with slow, gentle motions around the room. Sometimes they’d pick up a small rock or pebble, inspect it, then lower it back down. There were dozens of little piles dotting the room. I’d failed to notice those earlier.“The right thing?” Emmanuel asked. “Putting down monsters is hardly the wrong thing.”“It is when those monsters aren’t bad,” I said. “Look, those Colourless aren’t hurting anyone and... oh, nevermind.”I was still a bit grumpy, and I was maybe taking it out on Emmanuel. He might have been a bit of a pain in the butt, but it wasn’t fair to take out my own anger on him. I had to chill out.Awen came up next to me and pulled me into a quick hug. That helped a bunch.“Just... don’t fight people when you don’t need to,” I said.Emmanuel hesitated, then sheathed his sword. “If the lady wishes.”“You still haven’t learned our names, have you?” Amaryllis asked.“I am reluctant to admit it, but I am somewhat poor at retaining names. But worry not, fair harpy, I will forever remember the beauty of your eyes, and yes, the ferocity of your glare.”I held back a giggle. Amaryllis had a look that I wouldn’t describe as merely a glare. If I was Emmanuel, I would be worried. But then, if I was Emmanuel, Amaryllis probably wouldn’t have to glare as much.“Howard, you know the way into the castle?” I asked to get us back on track.Howard agreed to lead us in. We followed, of course, eyes on a swivel, searching for trouble. Howard didn’t seem concerned though.I don’t know what I expected the interior to look like, but it wasn’t what I found.Neat corridors, with straight-cut walls and holes where windows would be. Here and there, rocks were stacked up one atop the other, carefully balanced and held up by seemingly nothing but their own weight.They were where I might have expected potted plants or statues to be in a proper mansion.It only took a bit of walking around for Howard to bring us to a big room. A dining room? Carved arches lead way, way up to a high ceiling. Hanging down on a chain was a strangely shaped rock, covered in glowing mushrooms and trailing long streams of luminous moss. A chandelier, maybe?In the centre was a table, curved around like a big crescent moon, with cups before all six of the chairs on the outside arc.“This is it,” Howard said.He reached the table, and picked something off the surface. A bell? He rang it, but it didn’t make any noise.“Don’t sit yet,” Howard said. “And keep calm. He isn’t hostile.”The ‘he’ in question slithered into the room a moment later. A pair of heavy double doors at the end of the room, each one probably heavier than our entire group, slid open and from the darkness beyond came a strange creature, with a form that was hard to explain.No matter how hard I stared, my eyes seemed to peel off and away from his form. He was like the Colourless, I figured, though he was much larger.Unlike the Colourless, whose heads looked a bit like a hat, his was covered in a real but rather small bowler hat, right above all of his many, many eyes. “Greetings, guests. Please, sit, if you would. Let us talk!”I stepped forward, in front of all of my friends. “Hi! I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch, and these are my friends. Maybe we can be friends too?”Jim, The UnknowableDream: To know.Desired Quality: Someone who will answer.That was pretty simple. I could work with that!“Greetings, Broccoli. I am... Jim!” Jim put a bit of a pause before his name, almost as if there should have been something a little more impressive there. That was a bit silly though, Jim was a perfectly pretty name.I grinned at my friends and found mixed reactions. Awen and Amaryllis seemed pretty happy, Bastion was guarded. Emmanuel looked downright confused and Howard... moved past me to take a seat on one end of the table.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.“I hope you don’t mind, the tea is just black.”I blinked and noticed steam from the cup.“I don’t,” I said as I pulled up one of the seats in the centre of the table and sat down right across from Jim. “So, it might be a little impolite, but I want to know, what’s it like being a dungeon... creature?”“It is quite enjoyable,” Jim said. “I get good conversation, and a nice place to reside. Though lately there’s been some trouble. Weeds, you see.”“I think I do,” I said.“Wonderful. So, Broccoli, what is the thing you feel most guilty about to this day?” Jim tilted the upper half of his body to the side, and his colourless surface changed in hue and tint in a wave that almost read as ‘curious’ to me.I looked away when my head started to hurt a bit.“Um, something I feel guilty about?” I thought about it really hard. What was something I still felt guilty about? A bit embarrassing, but not that bad. Howard had said it could be awkward to answer Jim’s questions, but we had to be honest. “When I was in sixth grade, a girl called Flora offered people some gum, and I accidentally took two pieces instead of just one. I should have given one back, but I chewed on it instead. We couldn’t really afford gum and candies at home. But that’s not a good excuse for stealing.”“Really, Broccoli?” Amaryllis asked.“What?”“That’s what you feel guilty about?”I shrugged. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but that was something I did that was wrong, and I knew it was wrong when I did it, and yet I didn’t fix it.”Awen laughed and patted my head.I spun to her and pouted. When did Awen become so rude?“Truth,” Jim said. “A wonderful truth! Do you have more questions, Broccoli Bunch?”I nodded. “So many! But if you need to ask more, that’s okay too. Will you ask one to each of us?”“Indeed. Perhaps even more than one. Not all questions are weighted equally,” Jim said. He winked and tipped his bowler hat. Or... many of his eyes on one side closed at once, and a tentacle tapped the brim of his hat. I think it was a wink and tip though.“That makes sense,” I said.“Wonderful,” he said. “Sir Sylph, you seem a respectable gentlebeing. Tell me, do you love your country? Your king and queen?”Bastion didn’t hesitate. “I do.”“How wonderful. Oh, everyone, don’t be shy with the tea. It isn’t poisoned. By the way, Sir Paladin, would you betray your nation for your companions?”Bastion was silent for a long time. “I...” he began, then paused again.I didn’t want to pressure him, so I stayed quiet and fiddled with the tea cup before me. It was made of delicately shaped rock, and was nice and warm.Black tea, makes the drinker more alert and anxious, and has a mild bone-fortifying effect. Brewed plainly.Bastion swallowed. “I would,” he said.Oh no. I knew how important Bastion took his whole paladin thing, and if he was willing to abandon that for his companions... for us... well, I’d have to do something nice for him. He still seemed conflicted.My heart felt strangely heavy. It was a really nice gesture.“That’s nice,” Jim replied. “Little human miss?”Awen stared back, wide-eyed and with her cup hovering just before her mouth. “Yes?”“Are you enjoying the tea?”Awen looked down, then back up. She took a small sip. “Um... honestly? It’s good tea. I had worse tea at nice parties and balls. But it’s not the best tea I’ve ever had. So... it’s enjoyable, but it could taste a little better? Maybe some honey?”“It hurts my many hearts to hear that, but the truth can be unkind,” Jim said. “And no, I don’t have honey. I’ll make note of it, though!”I held back a laugh. Was Jim trying to lighten things up? After asking such a serious question, he came in with one that was easy to answer? It was nice of him.“Miss Harpy,” Jim began.“Yes?” Amaryllis replied.“Is there anyone you love?”“Romantically? No,” Amaryllis said.Jim hummed. “A partial answer, but truthful.” A tentacle wrapped around a cup and he pitched the cup itself back down a mouth that only appeared when he moved some tentacles aside. “What about non-romantic love?”I turned towards Amaryllis, then stared as her feathers puffed out, almost as if she was angry, but her face was the wrong sort of red for that. “I love my sisters, of course. They’re both quite annoying, and in entirely unique ways, but I love them all the same. My parents too, though... they are distant.”“I see, I see,” Jim said encouragingly.“And... I suppose I love my friends as well,” Amaryllis said. “E-entirely in a platonic way, of course.”I squealed and crashed into her from the side.“No! No! I knew this would happen! Get off me, or I swear on the World I’ll zap you.”“But you love me!”“I’d love it if you weren’t such an idiot, more like!”I shook my head, coincidentally rubbing up against her floofed feathers. “Nope! You had to say the truth. Your feathers even fluffed.”“Because I knew you’d ram into me like some drunkard!”Jim chuckled. “How nice. How about you, Sir Cervid, any friends that are that close?”“No, no, I’m afraid not,” Emmanuel admitted. “I may have had some close friends once, but that was a long time ago.”“It was, wasn’t it,” Jim said. “Why did you kill them?”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Nineteen — Guilt
Chapter Two Hundred and Nineteen — Guilt We were all silent. I think you could have heard a pin drop.The silence stretched, and the only sound was Awen’s clothes shifting as she reached around and grabbed my hand for a squeeze.“Care to explain?” Amaryllis asked.Emmanuel worked his jaw. “I... could you repeat that?” he asked.Jim the Unknowable shifted, his little bowler hat slipping to the side a little. “Oh! I don’t mind that at all. I merely asked why you killed your fri-”The dungeon creature was cut off as Emmanuel bolted, hooves clattering on the top of the table as he shot forwards.I only had time to gasp as the cervid’s sword came swinging out of its sheath and cut an arc through the air, aimed right at Jim’s head.The creature raised one large tentacle to intercept the blade. Bright steel dug into the blubbery surface of the tentacle, spilling black blood in a splash as the sword bit and cut through the limb.“Wait!” I shouted, far too late.Jim screamed, not in surprise, but in anger. His body flashed and his tentacles reared up, the ends bunching up into big rubbery balls while others shot down and grabbed the edges of the table.“Back!” Bastion called. He grabbed Howard and flung the fishman behind him just as the table flipped towards us.I stumbled backwards, pulling Awen with me just far enough that the huge stone table missed our toes.“Damn it, you idiot deer!” Amaryllis shouted before stabbing a hand forwards. Lightning crackled ahead of her, slicing through the air and stabbing into one of Jim’s tentacles that was crashing towards her.The creature screamed again, and one of his smaller tentacles whipped out of him with a crack and smacked Amaryllis back. She squawked as she flew.“Amy!” I took one step her way, then froze. No. “Awen! Look after Amaryllis!”“A-awa!” Awen agreed before bolting off.I spun to save Jim and Emmanuel.The monster had switched his focus back onto the cervid, tentacles swinging towards Emmanuel from every direction, while others speared out towards the deer to try and stab him.Emmanuel was holding his own. Sweat matted his fur down, and his teeth were grit, but his arms worked like machines, swinging this way and that, slapping tentacles away, and slicing at others while he side-stepped those he couldn’t parry.If I interrupted him now...“Jim!” I called out. “Jim, stop, please! It was a mistake, please, we don’t need to fight!”“It’s too late, lass,” Howard said. “Once he starts, there’s no end to it.”I didn’t know what to say to that. My hands worked, and I felt like Howard had just dropped a rock at the bottom of my tummy. “Dang it!” I swore, one foot crashing onto the ground in a protesting thump.Bastion stepped past me, working his arm. “Ranged support,” he said. It sounded like an order.I... stepped back and nodded. It felt wrong, really wrong, but I couldn’t let Bastion fight on his own. I started to create fireballs, little ones, that burned bright and warm and cast orange light across the room.Bastion dove forwards and cut a bloody swathe through Jim’s smaller tentacles, instantly relieving Emmanuel as the tide of battle reversed. A glance revealed that a few blows had slipped past, and Emmanuel was favouring his sternum with his free hand.I heard a loud clunk, and a bolt sprouted out from where I figured Jim’s head was. Awen was helping then, which meant that Amaryllis wasn’t in bad shape.I flung my fireballs forwards and almost felt like crying as they seared into Jim’s tentacular flesh with a painful sizzle.With a screeching howl, Jim started to spin, tentacles flicking around him in a blur of movement that I couldn’t quite follow. Emmanuel and Bastion both backed up, but that only seemed to push Jim to move faster.Then Bastion jumped, wings beating, as he flew over the edge of Jim’s whirlwind, flipped once, and brought his sword up. Magic burst out of the sylph, brilliant blues and yellows that flowed up to the tip of his sword before he brought it slicing down.Jim crashed, his momentum still carrying him around, but without the direction from before. The creature rolled across the room, tentacles thumping against the ground and shattering stone before he rammed into a wall off to the side.I hissed. That had to have hurt.Bastion stood atop Jim, seemingly unhurt, then slashed down twice in quick succession.Ding! Congratulations, you have Sliced the Life from Jim the Unknowable, Level 12! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!Jim started to fade.I stared as the body turned to dust.Bastion moved off, then pulled a rag from a pocket to clean his blade. He was expressionless, but I felt as if that was just a thin mask over a lot of anger. It didn’t take much to follow the direction he was gazing to find Emmanuel at the end.I put that on the backburner for the moment. First, I had to check on Amaryllis.My harpy friend was climbing back to her talons. Her emotions weren’t nearly as well-masked as Bastion’s. “Care to explain?” she asked. Her voice carried across the room.I didn’t like any of this, but I didn’t feel ready to interfere either.Emmanuel looked our way, just a glance before he focused on his sword. He stared at it for a while, staring into his own reflection. Then he slid it back into its sheath and turned our way with a smile. It didn't fit well, like he was trying not to break down in front of us. “Shall we continue on? That was a good bit of experience!”“What?” Amaryllis asked. “You think we’re just going to brush this all aside?”“Miss Harpy-”“Don’t ‘Miss Harpy’ me,” Amaryllis warned. “What. Was. That?”“Amaryllis,” I said. It was just a murmur, but she heard it, and I saw her backing down a little. Still on a low simmer though.I turned towards Emmanuel, aware that my friends and I were all set in a rough semi-circle around him. I... really hoped he wouldn’t try anything. If he did, it wouldn’t be a nice position to be in, not for him.“Mister Emmanuel,” I said. “I... I know it might be a little hard, but I think you need to explain.”Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.Emmanuel’s fist opened and closed, and he looked really distressed for a moment. “There’s nothing to explain. We, we’re quite done here, aren’t we? Shall we move on?”“Mister Emmanuel,” I repeated. “No. I... I don’t know what’s wrong with, with you, but just no. We’re not moving until you explain.”I saw Bastion from the corner of my eye, sword still in hand, and Awen had her crossbow close. My spade was lowered, I didn’t want to fight, but...The cervid looked to all of us in turn, confusion then anger warring in her eyes for a moment before the emotion broke and he looked down to the floor. Then Emmanuel sat down on the ground, a really strange posture for a cervid to take. “Did you want to hear the answer?” he asked. “Why I killed my friends? Is that it?”“I... yeah, we’d like to know that,” I said. My tummy twisted up in a knot. He really did kill his friends? That was... no, that was awful. “Please?”“It’s not a nice story.”“We can imagine that much,” Amaryllis said.He laughed, but it sounded forced. “Ah, I guess from the start?”“If that’s what you want,” I said.I saw Amaryllis working her jaw, but I shook my head. We could let him talk. There would be time for questions and accusations after.He thought about it, then nodded. “Sure. I don’t know how much you know about the Republican Army? It’s the main armed force that defends and expands the Trenten Flats. Most young cervid, the men, will join at one time or another, do their year or two of service, and then return to civilian life. It makes our people strong, makes sure everyone is near their tenth level early, and some will remain in the army, getting a new class as they do so. I’m noble-born, I wasn’t going to be some mere private. I went to officer training school, with plenty of other young cervid boys, and then I got a commission.” He smiled. It didn’t last long, but it was there for a moment.“You were an officer?” I asked. He really didn’t seem the sort.“Not a good one,” he said. “I know that now, but at the time I thought I was the greatest cervid to walk on four legs. The brass know what cervid like me are like, I think. They gave me a squad of green soldiers, one sergeant, and a map for an area to patrol.”I nodded, encouraging him to go on. He crossed his arms, hugging himself.“It was awful. I thought they were all just peasants. I treated them the way I did my servants at home, at least at first. My sergeant beat the stuffing out of me one night.” He laughed, as if it was a fond memory. “I could have had him court-martialled, but I think it worked. I started becoming closer to them?”“That’s nice,” I said.Slowly, he nodded. “It was. Hard, or at least, what I thought of as hard then. I didn’t even carry my share of equipment, and I had a nicer tent... I was very stupid. We were returning when we found a dungeon. A small one, near Lavaleigh. It wasn’t on the maps, none of us had heard of it. So I insisted we explore. The first floor was a joke. The second had one of my squad injured when he stumbled over a loose rock of all things.”Emmanuel laughed. It was hollow.“We patched him up, made some jokes about how clumsy he was. It was... fun?”I think I knew what that was like.“Then the final floor. The boss. We were all at or near our class evolutions, level ten. It was the same level. We figured it would be a cakewalk. Except for our sergeant ... he told us to turn back, maybe return better equipped. I ordered a charge instead.”Emmanuel’s shoulder came in.“They died. I was at the back. I didn’t.”“Oh,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “Be sorry for them, they had a stupid leader. I was just... such a coward. Do you know what the worst thing is? The boss gave me the Knight class. Knight! It’s a joke. The army gave me a pat on the back and a commendation for finding a dungeon and clearing it, and I left. I decided that I would be a knight, but for real. Like in the stories.”Amaryllis mumbled something, low enough that I couldn’t quite catch it, but it didn’t sound like a very nice comment.I decided not to comment on that. Emmanuel’s story was... rough. It sounded like it was something still fresh to him. He didn’t look very old. Had it happened a year ago? Two?No, the time didn’t matter. For some people it would take a lot longer to get over things, and I imagined that if the army rewarded him, then they never considered how he felt about the whole ordeal.He had tried to become a hero, in his own way. He was not very good at it, but I couldn’t fault the idea behind it. And what had happened to his friends... I winced. That could happen to us. Underestimating a dungeon boss, running into a pirate when we were flying around. Meeting some people that weren’t very nice. We were getting stronger all the time, but my friends and I weren’t all Abraham Bristlecones who could laugh off trouble.I carefully walked across the room, avoiding broken teacups and spilled chairs until I was in front of Emmanuel. Then I tipped forward and gave him a hug. It probably didn’t help very much, but it was the only thing I could think to do.“Please don’t,” Emmanuel said.I sighed and pulled back, then hovered a few feet away. “I’m still sorry,” I said.I heard a familiar sigh from next to me. Amaryllis. “His story is certainly sad, but he still put us all at risk. And he killed Jim. That creature might have been a dungeon creature, but it was a peaceful one.”“I know,” I said. “Just... this is hard.”She huffed, a surprisingly neutral sort of huff.“What do we even do?” I asked. “Tell Emmanuel to go away? He made a mistake.” Amaryllis gave me a look. “A few mistakes, but I don’t think he means to be, um, troublesome.”“I think,” Awen said. “Maybe Mister Chadsbourne isn’t as ready for this kind of adventure as he thinks. At least, not the part where we work together as a team.”“But what can we do about it?” I asked.Awen came a bit closer and touched my shoulder. “Broc, it’s not us who need to do something about that.”“Oh,” I said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty — The Buck Stops Here
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty — The Buck Stops Here It was hard.That’s pretty much the only way I could describe having to do what I had to.The others were looking to me to lead them. We’d never had a vote on it, we never sat down and delegated positions and such. Somehow I had just... ended up as the leader. Maybe it was because I clung onto others, or because I’d sorta-jokingly taken the title of captain.It didn’t matter. I was the leader, and that meant that some things fell to me. This was one of them.I took a deep breath, eyes fixed on the ground. I’d never really looked at Emmanuel’s feet. Hooves, really, though he had these sorts of boots on atop them, a leather sheath covering his legs up to the knee, with bits of metal worked into it.“Emmanuel,” I said. “I think it might be best if you go back.”It wasn’t what I wanted to say. I wanted to offer to help, to teach him, by example and word, how to be a better friend. He had potential, under all the silly ideas and the sometimes-rude behaviour. I could imagine him being a good friend. Everyone had that potential, and while it wasn’t right out on the surface with Emmanuel, it wasn’t buried that deep.But I couldn’t think just about myself.I was leading others, my friends. If what I wanted put others in danger, then maybe I had to put that aside to make sure everyone would be safe first.It was like... brushing your teeth. Not fun to do, but you did it because it was less annoying than a toothache.Maybe that wasn’t a very good example.“We can still be friends,” I said quickly. “Just, I don’t know if things are working out very well right now. So... yeah. It might be best for everyone if you return to the surface for now? We have a quest to complete, and it’ll be dangerous, and... yeah.”I glanced up, then away from Emmanuel’s face. His expression was conflicted.My friends... Bastion nodded to me, once. A show that he approved. Amaryllis still looked a bit peeved, and Awen looked like she was more concerned about me than Emmanuel, which was nice, I suppose.“Because you don’t trust me?” Emmanuel asked.I held back a wince. “It’s... not just that. Well, actually, yes?”The cervid stomped one hoof down. “No, no, I see how it is. You, you...” he paused, his head falling. “You see me as some sort of failure.”“Not a failure,” I said. “Just not someone who’s ready to work as a team, and in this place, that’s what we need most.”“Not a failure, a liability, then,” he muttered. “Thank you, I suppose that clarifies things. So much for being a great hero.” The cervid stood up, his pride straightening his back. “In that case, I think I’ll go and find people who need my saving more.”“Alright,” I said. “That might actually be for the best. You can learn and make friends, and practice being a hero?”Emmanuel’s jaw worked, and he looked to all of us in turn before stepping around and walking towards the exit. “Goodbye,” he said. I expected it to sound prideful, but he sounded sad instead.I sighed when he turned the corner and left out of sight.Awen came up behind me and gave me a hug, but it was Amaryllis who spoke up first. “That wasn’t easy for you, was it?”I shook my head.“Hmpf. Next time, let me do the dismissing. I’ve fired a person or two before. It’s nothing too complicated.”“Thanks,” I said. She might have said that, but I could read what she meant under all of that. “It had to be me, I think.”Amaryllis took a deep breath. “No, but it might be better this way. I had lessons about leadership, you know? I was never very interested in them, but I’m sure some of it stuck. And one lesson is that you need to learn how to delegate some things. You also need to be able to make sacrifices. I think one leadership lesson a day is enough, though.”I smiled, and if it was a bit wry, she didn’t comment. “Thanks.”“Are you okay?” Awen asked.“I’m fine,” I said as I leaned back into the hug. Awen was getting good at hugging. Bet she’d get the skill soon, then she could use it to show off to Rose later. “We should probably move on.”“We can take a moment,” Bastion said.“And we can grab the loot Jim dropped,” Howard said.I turned towards the old fishman. “Loot?” I asked.That had us all perking up.“Nothing too special,” Howard said as he moved around the big stone table. “Ah, here it is!” He bent over double, then came back up with a hat in hand. A black bowler hat.“Oh, that’s neat,” I said. “What does it do?”“Provide shade to your head?” Howard said with a chuckle. “We’ve collected a few of these over the years. They help with negotiations.”He flicked the hat our way, and I caught it out of the air, then used Insightt on it.A Shrewdman’s Bowler. Helps ferret out secrets and find the right angle to approach a negotiation.“Cool,” I said.“Not something I need help with,” Amaryllis said.“Broccoli should keep it,” Awen said. “She’s our negotiator.”I looked to Bastion, but he shrugged. “I’m not removing my helmet for a felt hat.”Shrugging, I wiggled my ears and pulled my turtle shell hat off and handed it to Awen in exchange for the bowler hat. As soon as I placed it between my ears, I felt the material shifting. “Oh! It’s changing shapes!” I said.“That’s normal,” Amaryllis said. “It’s still new.”Right, that had happened before.I raised the hat, then stared at the two, neatly cut holes set in on the edges of the ‘bowl.’ “Huh,” I said. This time, I slipped it on, and my ears slid snuggly up and through it. “How do I look?”Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.New Skill Acquired: NegotiatingRank: D“Cute,” Awen said.“Like a clown,” Amaryllis said.“Like you’re asking to have your head bashed in,” Bastion added. “The three of you aren’t what I would consider front-line fighters, but none of you are unable to hold her own. Awen and Amaryllis both fight from a little further behind though. They can afford to perhaps not have as much armour. You, on the other hand, are always in the thick of it. The helmet’s a better choice.”“Yeah,” I said as I took off the bowler hat. It was nice, but maybe I could use it when we weren’t about to go and face off against a dungeon boss. I took off my pack and tucked the hat away. “Right, we should keep moving. Only one floor left, right?”“The boss,” Howard confirmed. “It’s a tricky one, but I’m sure we’ll manage.”“You usually do it with just two people, right?” I asked.“Yup. There’s a trick to it. The boss is this great big monster. Weird eyes. Look into them and you’ll find yourself all confused. Anyway, the place has a bunch of altars. Every time you break one, the boss weakens. Then when they’re all broken the ceiling caves in. Often-times that’ll pin the boss in place.”“You’re making it sound easy.”“Oh, it isn’t,” Howard said. “If the ceiling doesn’t pin the big sucker, we often just leave and try again another time. And we haven’t had as much luck since those roots started showing up a bit ago.”Bastion eyed Howard. “Can you tell us more than that?”“Aye. The boss is about three buildings tall, with a squat sort of body. Thick skin too, like a whale. Plenty of tentacles, and the eyes I mentioned. They’re quite large, and they’re easy to take out. Oh, right, the water.”“The water?” I asked.“You all know how to swim?”“I don’t,” Awen said.“I dislike it,” Amaryllis added.I hummed. “Normally, yeah, but not with a pack and armour on.”“Going to need to be fast then,” Howard said. “Each altar that breaks makes the room start filling with water. It only stops when the boss is dead. Then the water goes back down. Plenty of levels around the outside of the room though,arranged like mezzanines with stairs between them. The miss should be fine if she keeps at range.”“Ah, alright,” Awen said.“Right,” I said. “Is that everything?”“Just about,” Howard said. “Focus on the altars first. The boss is fast initially, but he’ll get easier to fight as we break altars.”“I think we’ll split duties then,” Bastion said.I nodded. “I can move pretty fast. I’ll do the altars. Awen can help. Amaryllis, lightning at first, then stop when water comes in.”“Because the electricity will travel, right,” Amaryllis said. “I can switch out with Awen then, let her use her bow.”“That sounds fair. Bastion, do you think you can distract it?”“I can try,” the sylph said.“Awesome, in that case, Howard, can you help Bastion, and if one of us falls in the water, your first priority is to help.”“Can do,” Howard said.I clapped my hands. “Okay then! Let’s all gear up. The boss isn’t our objective, but it’s in our way. Um... you can't negotiate with this one, right?”“Not that I’m aware of,” Howard said. “Just a big monster that’ll attack as soon as it sees you.”“Alright then,” I said.Howard revealed a door that I’d missed earlier on my first inspection of the room. A small passageway, right next to the bigger doors Jim had used to enter. It led a ways through the castle, until the corridor came to an end and a familiar sort of cave began.As we started navigating through the cave with Amaryllis’ magic light guiding us, I couldn’t help but imagine Emmanuel returning back outside, all on his own. It must have been hard for him.Talons squeezed my shoulder, and I smiled even if my friends couldn’t see it.I was lucky, really really lucky.The narrow cavern opened up onto a wider path, one that split, with a passage at a sharp angle behind the exit, and a more open, more inviting passage leading ahead.Howard didn’t even hesitate to continue along the main path.The cave widened, then narrowed once more before coming to a dead stop at a wall made of huge slabs of stone, each wider than my arm span. A door rested in the centre, with that strange symbol Howard had shown me carved all the way around it so that the signs overlapped.“All ready?” Howard asked.“How much time do we have once we’re inside to get in position?” I asked.“The floor under the boss will rise up until he’s standing above us all,” Howard said. “You can attack him early, I suppose. Wouldn’t suggest it. Might fall into the pit the boss rises from.”“Okay,” I said.“Might want to start hitting the altars early, but that just makes the room fill faster in my experience, and the boss will fight harder from the start.”“So no starting early, then,” I said.“We’re not here to run this quickly,” Bastion said.Amaryllis nodded. “Leave the speedrunning to others.”“There’s speedrunning?” I asked.“It’s a sport in some places,” Amaryllis said. “Who can clear a city’s dungeon the fastest. They keep score and all, with prizes for the fastest delvers. It means gathering things more efficiently, which is only good for a dungeon-based economy, and now you have me going on a tangent.”“Sorry!”Howard chuckled and pressed a flipper-like palm against the door. Then he pushed his way in.It was time to face the last boss.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-One — The Dread Cute-ulu
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-One — The Dread Cute-ulu The room was similar to Jim’s castle. Walls of bricks and stones all around, a fairly low ceiling, and light coming from sconces on the walls where glass bulbs were filled with mushrooms and padded glow-moss.It filled the grey halls in pale yellow and green light, steadier than a flame’s.The room opened up ahead of us, the corridor not so much ending as widening out. The "ceiling" was also the floor of a mezzanine over our heads, and above that was another mezzanine, and so on up to a height of four stories.It was about hip-high, and made entirely of stone. One big slab, as thick as my hand-span, made up the top, with a smoothed surface on which a box sat.Past the altar was a hole cored in the center of the floor. Just a big hole, maybe five metres in diameter. It took a ripple across the surface for me to realize that the hole was filled almost to the brim with water.Pillars circled the room. Stone, with roughly carved tentacles or maybe just really thick vines running around them. They were pretty impressive.“The usual pattern is one more altar for every floor,” Howard said, his voice kept low, and yet still bouncing across the room.“So, one here, two on the next floor up?” Amaryllis asked. She was looking to the side, and following her gaze revealed a staircase in the corner. There was another in the opposite corner. The entire room was square on the edges, with nothing offering any cover except for the pillars here and there.“That’s it,” Howard said. “Should only be four floors up.”I stepped forwards, walking way around the altar and to the edge of the big hole. The water was brackish and dark; I couldn’t see more than a few centimetres into it, but it looked deep. Gazing up, I could make out the floors above, each one with a similar hole in the centre, though the hole was about a metre wider for every level.Something jangled, and I stepped back, then I noticed the chains. Big things, with loops big enough that I could fit my fist through them. They were near the pillars lining the edge of the hole, probably why I’d missed them.“How do we break the altars?” Awen asked, her voice rising in the end when the chains started making more noise.Howard shifted his shoulders. “Even if they look like stone, they're not so tough. A good smack right in the middle ought to break the stone. You’ve got a hammer, right?”“Oh, right,” Awen said. “I can do that.”The chains started to rattle louder, then then went taut.The altar gurgled, and when I turned to look, there was a small rivulet of water running out from the base of the altar, down a little channel dug into the floor, and into the hole. A moment later, more water started to drip down from above. The altars on the other floors?“It’s coming,” Howard said.I stepped back to be closer to my friends. “Right, get ready, I guess. Remember not to look into its eyes.”“I’ll go up now,” Awen said. “I can start with the altars on the top floor; there should be more of them, right?”“Right,” I said. I glanced at Howard to see if he had any objections, but he didn’t protest the idea.Awen paused. “Oh, give me your packs, quick, I’ll hide them on the top floor.”That was a great idea, so we all quickly took off our packs and soon we could hardly see Awen’s head under all the backpacks and such. I think she started regretting her generosity as soon as she reached the first staircase, but it had been a nice gesture, and a nicer idea. I felt a bit lighter without a few kilos of stuff on my back.“Ready?” I asked.“Aye.”“As ever, I suppose.”“Yes.”The chains lifted, super slowly at first, then a bit faster, and with that rising, the water on the edge of the hole rose too. It hit the brim, then poured over and started to form a big puddle in the middle of the room.Experimentally, I pushed my Cleaning aura on and let it mingle with the water moving towards my sneakers. It washed away the brownness of it. Just dirty water, then?Something moved out of the surface of the hole, at first just a fin, but then the rest of a round, blubbery head emerged, oily skin pulled taut around a minivan-sized skull.I gasped as the face came out of the water. Half of it was twisted and misshapen, with large green roots digging into the face where one of the boss’s eyes should have been.The boss continued to rise along with its platform, long tentacled face moving past until, finally, it stopped with its huge, very goat-like feet level with the ground.“Break the altar!” Howard said.The boss screamed.You have heard the plea of a primordial creature of chaos! Your mind is shaken.“What?” I asked.I saw Howard stumble ahead, then fall onto all fours with a splash.That was... bad. I had to help him. But I... I shook my head, the fog lifting and my mind clearing.My Cleaning aura! I blasted it out, spending a good dozen points of magic so that the Cleaning magic would slam into my friends. Amaryllis gasped, then bent down to pick up her dagger-wand-when had she dropped that?-Bastion just grunted. “Could have told us about that one,” he said.“Didn’t expect it,” Howard said. “The altar!” He stumbled ahead, climbing to his feet and rushing to the big stone. He lifted the little box on the surface, then brought it crashing back down with a heavy grunt.The stone top of the altar shook, and when he slammed the box back down, the entire thing cracked.With a third and final blow, the altar-stone broke in half, and I felt a wave of some sort of greasy magic wash past.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.A fountain of water erupted from the base of the altar, pushing up and splattering against the broken stone top. It reminded me of seeing a fire-hydrant that had been hit, only not nearly as strong. Still, if it kept going, and with the room already filling with water...“Broccoli, go check on Awen, everyone, second floor. Amaryllis, let loose with everything you have as soon as we’re clear,” Bastion said.“Right!” I called back.I bounced off, first jumping to the top of the stairs, then once there I used the back wall to bounce back up onto the second floor. I could see the boss’s waist here, his big potbelly blubbering in place. Two altars, just like Howard has said, one on either side of the boss.Ignoring all that for the moment, I bounced up another floor even as my friends ran up the stairs.The third floor was equally empty, with an altar behind the boss, and one on either side. The floor was also, I noted, a fair bit smaller than the one below. More of a balcony, maybe.The fourth floor, when I arrived, was little more than a passage all the way around the hole and the third floor, with an altar at every corner.I saw our bags tucked away next to a closed door by the back, probably the exit. And right next to the edge, shuffling forwards with wide eyes, was a terrified Awen.“Awen!” I shouted before darting forwards. She was trembling even as she walked towards the boss, her eyes fixed on its one good eye below. This floor was only just even with the top of the boss’s head.I tackled her, pulling her back from the edge even as I pushed as much Cleaning magic out as I could in a short, hard burst.Awen gasped. “B-Broc!”“Awen! Are you okay?”She shook her head. “I... yes? I was... confused, but I was fighting it. It was... urgh.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “I didn’t like it.”“Hey, it’s okay now,” I said.Awen nodded and pulled back. “I’ll do the altars here.”“Are you-”She nodded harder, flashing me a smile. “I’m not going to be useless.”“Alright,” I said. “In that case, I’ll get back to the fight.” And just as I finished saying that, the room lit up in brilliant blues and whites as Amaryllis let loose with her lightning magic. The boss groaned and shifted back, then it ducked down, one of its arms punching out ahead.“The altars!” Awen said. “It’ll weaken it!”I nodded, then let her go. She’d do her part; I couldn't let my trust in her falter now.Spade in hand, I eyed the boss, then backed up a little bit. I doubted fire magic would do much against someone all wet like that, and its skin looked thick enough to make the magic kinda weak anyway. Fire magic, while cool and flashy, wasn’t all that good at killing, just hurting.So manual labour it was!I roared as hard and loud as I could while I jumped down, my spade held up way above my head with both hands wrapped hard around the handle.The boss started to glance up just as I brought the warspade down, a bit of stamina spent on my arms making the blow that much faster.It banged into the boss’s head with a resounding bong that made my arms shiver, then I crashed into the monster feet-first and launched myself backward in a quick somersault that had me landing on the third floor.A crack from above, followed by one of the little rivulets of water turning into more of a deluge announced the breaking of one of the topmost altars. Awen hard at work, then.The boss spun to face me, so I darted away, using one of the pillars as cover for a moment. Cover, and a place to insight the boss from.Cute-ulu, the Psyche Flayer, level 10.Cute? The boss didn’t look cute at all. Sure, it had big eyes, and little tentacles, and it was kinda stout looking, but just because it looked like a forty-foot-tall baby didn’t mean that it was cute!The level was also strange. Lower than Jim had been. Then again, Jim was a mini-boss that could be avoided by talking, maybe the dungeon got to get stronger monsters if they were easier to bypass or something? It made sense, in a weird sort of game-y logic. And even with the level difference, Cute-ulu looked a whole lot tougher and stronger already.A second altar broke above, redoubling the amount of water raining down.“Quick!” I heard Bastion call from below.“Don’t get your pretty sylph panties knotted up!” Amaryllis shouted back.Before I could even begin to wonder what all that was about, the room filled with noise as Amaryllis let loose another barrage of electrical magic that rammed into the boss mid-chest.I nodded. Amaryllis was doing great!A crack sounded from below, and the splashing noises increased. So they’d broken another altar.So far, things were going pretty well.I created a set of nine fireballs, even if I knew they’d be less effective, then ran out of my cover on a direct path to the nearest altar.The boss turned my way, and I let loose, flinging all nine balls right towards its face.It blinked, flinching back from the magic that flew towards its remaining eye.On reaching the altar, I hopped up, landed on it, then pounded both feet down as hard as I could.The rock below me cracked. Another hit, then.I looked up on seeing a shadow, then eeped and ducked a wild swing from one of the boss’s face-tentacles.The huge prehensile limb crashed into the altar, bursting through as it tried to grab at me.Fortunately, I was a quick little bun, and I was out of there before it could do anything more than sabotage its own altar.“Right, don’t underestimate the giant monster boss,” I muttered.I had to take this seriously too!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Two — Down With the Boss
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Two — Down With the Boss There were plenty of altars left to break, and the boss still seemed to be in decent health, even if I could see some burns across its chest where Amaryllis had let loose against it. I didn’t doubt that those had hurt, but they weren’t crippling blows.My attack earlier hadn’t done much, and the Fireballs had petered out almost as soon as they struck.The boss pulled its arm back, bits of stone from the altar clinging to the limb and only falling off when water geysered out from the altar and splashed against it.Barely even a scratch!I glanced over to the side, noting the other two altars on this level, then back to the boss. Could I keep it distracted? It might not be super useful, but it would give my friends some time to do things.“Hey there!” I called out, one arm waving. “You missed me.”The boss turned its head so that its one eye stared my way, and I quickly glanced away from the maddening swirling globe. It wasn’t time to lose my mind just yet.Shifting back, the boss raised its other arm, and presented both palms to me, like someone about to clap a mosquito out of the air, only in this case, I was taking up the role of the mosquito.“Oh, snickerdoodles,” I swore before both hands came rushing in towards me.I jumped to one side, sailing over the boss’s arm. I landed in a bounce that sent me sailing over the second hand. That was a chunk of stamina gone.The hands clapped together with a huge wallop, the water coating them spraying out every which way, exactly the way I imagine I’d get splattered if I lingered there.“Bit rude!” I called out to the boss.Then, before it could do that again, I started running towards the next altar, past a waterfall where one of the altars above had been broken. I saw Awen running by above, hammer in hand.“Hey, hey!” I called out as I bounced up and onto a second altar. “I’m here, big guy... or girl, I can’t actually tell.”The boss turned, then swung an arm out at me, the entire limb going high.I hopped off the altar and ducked down, expecting to hear stone breaking, and I did, only it wasn’t the altar but one of the pillars that had collapsed into a flurry of pieces.“Whoa,” I said. Then I felt my eyes growing wide as a fist came rocketing down where I was.I rolled to the side, the entire floor bouncing under me as the fist crashed down where I’d been.“Whoa!” I shouted. “Hey! Be careful!”It didn’t even break the altar. Annoying.“Leave Broccoli alone!” came Awen’s cry from above a moment before a bolt thumped into the boss’s forehead and stuck there.The monster looked up, then brought both hands up and through the floor above.I scrambled away as the ceiling collapsed around me. At least one big stone crashed into the altar, cracking the top of it and unleashing a wash of water.I wanted to cheer, but that caught in my throat when I saw Awen stumble near the edge, then trip.“Awen!”I jumped forwards, ignoring the monster’s arms as he pulled them back.Awen was falling, eyes wide and limbs scrambling for purchase even as everything continued to fall apart.I reached out for her, but something hard and heavy banged my head. I grunted, but my hand still wrapped around something a moment before I crashed tummy-first onto the uneven floor. Rocks dug into my legs and hips where they skidded off my armour.The thing I held onto tugged, pulling me ahead a bit.I blinked, clearing the stars from my vision.Awen was suspended below me, one hand gripping her crossbow, the rest of her dangling down like a wet towel on a clothesline on a windy day.That’s what I held onto, one of the metal arms at the end of the bow, currently straightened a bit since it wasn’t loaded. “Hang on!” I shouted.“I... I’m slipping!” she screamed.The boss growled and shifted.“Awen!”I could see Bastion and Howard running toward her from the floor below. They’d catch her!Then Awen slipped. She didn’t even yell as she tumbled right past the floor below and crashed into the water with a huge splash.“Awen!”Howard dove in, a second, smaller splash right next to where Awen had fallen.“No!”I scrambled to my feet, still holding onto Awen’s bow. I stared at it for a moment, then tossed it back. Where was my spade?Bastion paused by the edge of the floor below. “The altars!” he shouted.“Yeah—no! If we break them, they’ll be buried.”“There’s one left above,” he said.“Right.”I spun around, saw my spade, and picked it up as I rushed by. I had to blink hard to clear my vision; it was very wet.The boss roared again and it bent down a little to attack my friends below. I was really, really not fond of this boss. The last altar was across the room, which meant either going around, or through the boss. With my current mood...My sneakers gripped onto the edge of the floor and I launched myself at the boss with the meanest roar I could muster. I was kind of disappointed when my roar sounded more like a kitten yawning.The boss probably didn’t expect anyone to deliver a straight, stamina-empowered kick right in its face.The boss had to be a hundred times my weight, but I had a lot of miffed-off energy to bleed.Its face tentacles reached up, and one of them grabbed me around the waist as I was falling back.Perfect!I poured magic into a blast of Cleaning magic, a blast that would have been strong even before I hit Rank-S with the skill. Now the ball of swirling magic spun around like a snowglobe in a paint mixer, hundreds of motes of magic zipping around in a tight ball that I fired forwards into the monster’s face.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.The water wicked away, and left the boss’s face perfectly clean. It blinked its single now-dry eye, seeming confused.Then I fired more Cleaning magic to the other side, and the magic tore into the roots filling the monster’s disfigured eye-hole.The roots melted apart, the greenish plant-life turning brown before fading into motes of dust, and with them gone, there was now an unfilled maze of holes left in the boss’s face that quickly started to bleed. The boss’s moan hinted that it hadn’t enjoyed that.“Amaryllis! Zap its face!”I saw my harpy friend, all wet and really annoyed-looking, running to the edge of the floor below.The tentacle gripping me raised me up, and a larger mouth opened up, the tentacles around it shifting aside like noodly curtains. The boss had a beak instead of a mouth, one filled with jagged, quill-like teeth inside.Amaryllis’ lightning crashed into the boss’s face, digging into its blubbery features and singing them black.The boss growled and threw me towards its open beak.I kicked out, one foot on either end of the beak to pin me in place. I flipped my spade around, and started hacking at the tentacle holding me with the sharp end while my free hand pointed down the monster’s throat. “Fireball!”The Fireball I cast wasn’t big or impressive, but it did blow apart that dangly thing at the back of the monster’s throat.It screamed and flung me back.I kicked and flipped, only just managing to land on my feet before I stumbled and rolled and finally ended up bumping against the far wall. “Ouch,” I muttered.I was on the top floor, I realized.Shaking my head, I picked myself up, then took in the scene. The monster was finally looking a bit rough. It was coughing and sputtering, and its voice was now all sorts of rough. I bet it couldn’t scream its mind-flay-y scream anymore, which was a great bonus.I started to run towards the last altar left on this floor, then I stumbled and tripped as the muscles in my legs twinged. I gasped and grit my teeth. I didn’t have time to be hurt. I had to help, and we had to save...Bastion flashed past the boss, circling around the back of its head in a quick upwards spiral with his sword leaving a long slice wherever he passed by the monster. The boss tried to swat him out of the air, but they were blind swings that Bastion avoided with ease. “She’s out of the water,” he said. “Break the altar!”“Right!” I said.Awen was safe!I rushed to the last altar on this floor, then whacked it with my spade. Then again and again, ignoring the soreness in my arms until a fountain of water burst from the stone.The ceiling above boomed, and I saw a crack running across the middle of it. Not enough to bring it down yet, but a good sign. There were other cracks too, all of them meeting in the middle above the hole where the boss was.How many altars were left?I searched around, but there were waterfalls of water all over, and piles of broken stone where the boss had rampaged. Then I saw it, on the floor below, one last altar.I wanted to jump to it, but I was a bit hurt, and I wasn’t sure if that would be clever.Instead, I ran as fast as I could manage, with a few hops for speed to the stairs, then down the entire staircase until I was down a floor. I arrived just as Amaryllis and Howard came up from the second floor from a stairwell opposite the one I was using.They had Awen, her arms thrown over their shoulders and coughing hard.Coughing meant she was alive!I grinned, then let the grin fall as I watched the boss. Bastion was doing good work distracting the boss, keeping its attention on himself.Good. I just had to do my part!I moved to the altar, bent over a bit, then shoved into it shoulder-first. I growled and dug my feet in, pushing as hard as I could until the stone shifted forwards.It crashed down with a heavy thump, and I earned myself a face-full of water for my trouble. I spluttered and stepped back.The water didn’t have far to go, the second floor was already filled halfway.I was distracted from staring as a heavy chunk of rock splashed into the water, then another. I glanced up, then swallowed as the entire ceiling buckled.Bastion shot away from the boss just as a piece of the ceiling longer than I was dislodged itself and crashed into the boss’s head with a dull, wet thump.Dust filled the air, accompanied by the sound of heavy splashing as more and more stone fell down.I spent a bit of Cleaning magic clearing the dust around me away.Ding! Congratulations, you have end-ritched the life of ‘Cute-ulu, the Psyche Flayer,’ level 10! For defeating a Dungeon boss, bonus exp is gained! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!I felt my shoulders slump. That was it. There were plenty of other notifications, but I shut those off for now. I had bigger concerns.The water from the altars slowed, then stopped entirely, which I suppose helped a little. It certainly made things a lot quieter.“Awen!” I called out.“You know,” Amaryllis said. “I was in the fight too. I got all wet. It’ll take hours for my feathers to dry out.”I laughed as I followed her voice. If Amaryllis was being snippy, then things were probably alright.When I did find my friends, I crashed into them with a big, strong hug. It was rough, and I think we had some healing to do, but we’d made it.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Three — A True Captain
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Three — A True Captain Everyone gathered on the top floor of the boss room, all of us rather exhausted, even Bastion seemed a bit tired, even if he and Howard had been the only ones entirely unscathed by the boss fight.“How’re you?” I asked Awen. She was leaning up against the wall near the door that I suspect led out of the dungeon.Awen grimaced. “My health is a bit low? Um, and my Stamina... my mana is fine?”“I don’t think your mana’s a big deal right now,” I said. I searched my bandoleer for a potion, but the only one I had was broken.Why were potion bottles made of glass? That was just silly.“Here,” Amaryllis said as she handed an intact potion to Awen. “Once we’re out of here, I think it would be wise to find a healer. At least, if there is one in Insmouth?” The last she asked while looking at Howard.“We have a good apothecary, but nothing so special as a doctor or healer,” he said.“What’s the difference?” I asked. “Between doctor and healer, I mean.”“One knows how the body works very well, and has skills to fix it physically,” Amaryllis said. “The other throws magic at the problem and hopes for the best. Doctors are better, generally, but slower. Both is best.”“Right,” I said. A neat lesson, but not what we needed right then and there.“We’ll find someone in Sylphfree, I’m sure,” Amaryllis said.“We do pride ourselves on being the most advanced nation when it comes to the healing arts,” Bastion said.Amaryllis nodded, and if she was acknowledging it without complaint, it was probably true.Awen took her potion and sighed after. “That was scary.”“I was terrified,” I said.“Awa, I think... I think I want to learn how to swim.”I giggled, which got her laughing a bit too. Amaryllis rolled her eyes, but at least she was smiling. “We’ll find a pool or something,” I said. “I can teach you to doggy paddle at least.”“How undignified.”“If it keeps you above water, it doesn’t matter how silly you look,” I said.Howard stretched his back and looked over to where the boss had been before. “I’ll go see if the boss dropped anything,” he said before heading off.I took in my friends at a glance. We were done here, mostly. Just the last bit of the mission left to take care of, but that was a part that we could take our time in handling, and one that was unlikely to attack us. My friends seemed preoccupied, especially Amaryllis who had a smug birdy grin on.“Levelled up?” I asked.“I did,” she said.I sat down next to Awen, then scooted over a bit before checking all of my notifications. Mister Menu had a bunch for me.Dungeon Cleared!All adversaries with The Depths of Insmouth Defeated.All Bosses Defeated.Broccoli Bunch, Cinnamon Bun Bun, level 12, Wonderlander level 4, is awarded the Deep Diver class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Deep Diver?Replacing one of your current classes will reset your level to 0 in that class.Did I want to become a fish-person with bunny ears? Not really, no.Class: Deep Diver set in abeyance until Class Slot becomes availableWell, that was done! Another dungeon cleared, another potential class saved up for when I reached my next evolution.I was expecting a level up, but I got... nothing. I scanned through all the messages I had from Mister Menu, but there wasn’t anything about levelling up. That was annoying. And we’d worked so hard!Though, I supposed it was fair. It had only been a few hours, and there was hardly as much fighting here as in the last dungeon. And the monsters weren’t quite as impressive.Plenty of skills had improved though!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Archaeology skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a Free Rank!Oh! That hadn’t moved around in a long time. It was nice to see it growing a bit. Not the most handy of my skills, but maybe now that it was at Rank D it would start being more useful. It felt like Ranks F was just there to tell you that you had a skill, and Rank E was only good for helping a tiny bit. D was where things started to really improve.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Tea Making skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C Costs one Class Skill Point!I grinned. Rank C Tea Making! I wondered what that did? Would it allow me to make magic teas? Or would I have some sort of Stamina-related ability linked to Tea Making? Maybe it would allow me to prepare tea better? Oh! Maybe it would allow me to hold my bladder better!No, that was silly.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Insight skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B Costs two General Skill Points!A bit expensive for a skill I was constantly forgetting to use.I’d set that on the backburner. General skill points were precious, and I couldn’t afford to waste them willy-nilly.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Hugging Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a Free Rank!“Nice!” I cheered.“Level up?” Amaryllis asked.“Nope, not this time,” I said.“Well, neither of your classes are combat based,” she said.I blinked, then narrowed my eyes at her.Amaryllis Albatross, Thundere level 13, Puppeteer level 3, smug.“Okay, two questions,” I said. “How are you a level ahead and one behind me, and why do I see both of your classes?”“Because classes level according to what one is doing, and my Puppeteer class, as much potential as it has, is still relatively weak. It’s moving slower. As for the second question, either you actually figured out how to use Insight-which I doubt-or you already know part of the information so the skill is filling that in.”“Oh,” I said.“Ah, I’m falling behind.” Awen said. “I’m at twelve and three.”I shook my head. “Hardly. When we met you were a bunch of levels behind, now you’re just one behind either of us if we tally all our levels together.” I bumped shoulders with her. “You’re doing awesome.”She smiled, a little bit timid, but not as timid as she had been even a few weeks before.“Right, give me a few more minutes, I have more notifications to look at.”One more notification, actually.Ding! For doing a Special Action, you have unlocked the General skill: Captaining!Oh.CaptainingRank F — 00%The ability to lead and take charge through soft sailing and rough patches.That... was actually kind of nice.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
12
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
4
Age
16
Health
145
Stamina
150
Mana
145
Resilience
55
Flexibility
70
Magic
35
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 03%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 100%
Gardening
D — 35%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 100%
Mad Millinery
D — 87%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapons Proficiency
D — 100%
Archaeology
D — 00%
Friendmaking
C — 71%
MatchMaking
D — 57%
Hugging Proficiency
D — 00%
Captaining
F — 00%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
1
Wonderlander Skill Points
3
General Skill Points
4
First Class Slots
0
Second Class Slots
1
General Skill Slots
3
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.Things were looking pretty good. My Hugging Proficiency was obviously a priority. Other than that... well, I had a lot of points just sitting there, not doing all that much. With Cleaning finally at Rank S, I figured I could start diversifying a bit. Getting it to SS though... that was really tempting.It wouldn’t happen until level 19 in Cinnamon Bun Bun, which could be months from now!At the same time... I bet there weren’t that many people with Rank SS anything, let alone a skill as handy as Cleaning!Well, that could wait. I’d ask Amaryllis for help later. She was smart. In the meantime, I didn’t have any problems dumping a bunch of points in my Wonderlander skills... if only they were cooler. Tea Making was nice, and Mad Millinery was cool, but they were a bit... strange and not super.As for General Skills... maybe Makeshift Weapons? Definitely Hugging Proficiency. The ability to buff my friends was invaluable! But then I only had four points there.“Need help?” Amaryllis asked.I shook my head, hesitated, then nodded. “Yup, but not right now, I don’t think. Once we’re back on the Beaver I think I’ll bother you for a little bit.”“Sure. We wouldn’t want you spending points on some of your more useless skills.”“Hey!” I said. “My skills are cool. Mostly.” I could do without Adorable.I stood up as I saw Howard climbing up the steps with... a dress over his shoulder? A purple one, with a very floofy set of petticoats sticking out from under the ruffled skirts.“What’s that?” I asked.“Drops from the boss,” Howard said.I blinked, then fired Insight onto the dress.A pretty dress. Good for ablative armour. New.“Huh?”Howard shrugged. “We don’t rightly know either. You can cut them up for some scraps. The insides are soft; make for good bedding material.”“I guess,” I said. I set that aside for the moment. The dress looked way too small for any of us. Not the reward I expected, and not something that seemed too useful.We gathered up our things, with Amaryllis and I splitting Awen’s things between us even as Awen protested that she could handle it herself. Then, with Howard pushing the last door open, we moved deeper into the dungeon.The corridor ahead forked. On both sides were shimmering portals, set into stone door frames. One had a hazy image of the mausoleum from which we’d entered the dungeon, seen from the inside looking out. The other was the core room.It was not nearly as bad as I feared.The core sat upon a pedestal made of stone tentacles, the big orb carefully held in place there.Touching it, just barely, was a root, one tangled up in the twisting stone below and that reached out to every corner of the room.“Be careful,” Howard said. His voice sounded a bit off. Fearful, almost.“We will,” I promised.Stepping up, I hiked on my backpack, then handed my warspade to Bastion, who took it almost absently.Stepping into the core room felt the same as it always did. Strange and almost icky. The passing sent shivers down my spine, and I could feel the magic in me bubbling and racing. I’d been getting better at feeling that. I bet people like Amaryllis who did plenty of magic would feel the core a lot more.I stared at the orb in the centre of the room for a bit. The room itself wasn’t anything too special. Stone walls, with embossed carvings in the walls that, when the light hit them right, created strange, wriggling shadows.The only light came from some glowing mushrooms ringing the edge of the floor where the Evil Roots hadn't broken through them, and from the core itself.I reached out, carefully touching the core. It felt warm. “We’ll fix you up in no time,” I said.Then I knelt down and grabbed the base of the roots climbing up the plinth.Cleaning magic at Rank S was almost scary when it found something as dirty as a root. It dug in, hissing and spitting, and the root started to fall apart around where I held it.I let more magic flow, covering the floor and concentrating where the roots were more visible.They started to burn.I didn’t know if this would cure the core entirely, but maybe all it needed was to be given a chance to cure itself. Like a vaccine, sorta.I patted the core gently before leaving the room, the last bit of Evil Root pinched between thumb and forefinger. “I think we’re done,” I said as I wasted Cleaning magic on my aura. “And I think I’ll be keeping this bit.”“As a souvenir?” Amaryllis asked.“No, as something we can study, or maybe give to someone who can. Come on, let’s get out, I’m looking forward to seeing sunshine again!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Four — Celebrating the Good Things
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Four — Celebrating the Good Things
Quest Completed!Trim the Cruel!The Core is saved!I sighed. That was a good message to receive. “Thanks, Miss Menu,” I said as I dismissed the notification.“Did you say something?” Amaryllis asked.“Nope,” I replied. “Well, nothing important.”She nodded, then gestured to the portal leading out of the dungeon. “Come on, then. The others will be waiting.”I glanced around one last time, but it felt like everything we had to do was done. Another adventure ended, and on a happy note too. Sure, we were a bit banged up, but we’d get better in a day or three. “I could use something to eat,” I said as I followed Amaryllis.“Ah, so now you’re thinking with your stomach? Brilliant.”I laughed and pulled Amaryllis into a side-hug. “Come on!”Exiting the dungeon was strange; the portal warped and bubbled, and it felt like diving into a pool of dry water. And then we were out in the open. Insmouth, the town, not the dungeon, was so much more humid than I remembered.Awen and Bastion were just outside the mausoleum, both looking like they were waiting while taking in the big walls of fog that seemed to hover around the town and over the ocean. It was night now, with a sprinkling of stars shining bright enough to glow through the thin clouds above, and the moon hovering fat and heavy by the horizon.“Awa,” Awen began. “Howard invited us to the inn. He said we could eat for free tonight.”“That sounds wonderful,” I said.“I wouldn’t mind a glass of wine,” Amaryllis admitted.“Aren’t you a bit young for that?” I asked as I started out ahead.Amaryllis just gave me a look. “I’m at least a year older than you, and what does age have to do with when someone can have a cup of wine?”“I guess there’s no age limit on that here, huh?” I asked. “Maybe I should try some?”“No,” Awen and Amaryllis said in the same breath.“Uh, okay,” I replied. Well, if they insisted.We started heading into Insmouth, and despite the late hour, I found the town to be surprisingly lively. Lights were on, candles flickering behind windows, and people were out on the street, many of them in little groups that were walking towards the centre of town, laughing and chatting all the while.We got some nice waves from some folk, and others seemed happy just to smile at us.“This entire town is creepy,” Amaryllis said.“They seem nice.”The inn was a lot rowdier than I remembered, with tables packed and dozens of people sitting around outside, clinking big mugs together and plates overflowing with tasty-smelling food held up in one hand so that they could eat standing up.“It’s them!” someone cheered.Before I could find out who it was, what felt like the entire inn cheered. Younger fishpeople rushed out, laughing and screaming, and we were dragged in.Howard was sitting on a big rocking chair next to the hearth, a big mug with frothing beer overflowing it in one hand. “Ah, here they are!” he said. “I was just telling everyone about our adventure.”“Poorly!” someone called out.There was more laughter, and I found myself joining in. If Howard was laughing too, then it wasn’t bullying or anything, I figured. “July! Get the kids something to eat! They deserve it!”My friends and I were jostled around for a bit, but soon we were all at the bar where the innkeeper, July, was setting plates before us and mugs next to those.Amaryllis sniffed at her beer, then leaned forwards. “Can I have some wine, if you have anything decent?”“And juice for me!” I said.I expected Awen to pipe up, but she took a sip of her ale and came back with a foamy mustache. “It’s a bit bitter,” she said. “But not too bad. I think I see why Uncle likes this so much.”Bastion sat nearby and waved July off when she came offering food.And then we dug in, though my meal was interrupted a bunch as I answered a whole lot of questions. People were pretty excited about our dungeon run, which was a little strange. Weren’t they pretty common?In the end, I asked July.“Oh, yeah, of course. Just about everyone who’s an adult’s gone through the dungeon. And every time, we make a big thing of it. It’s a way of celebrating for the whole town. Only folk already at level ten go in, so it’s usually the same day their class evolves.” She grinned. “It’s a big deal.”“Oh!” That was so neat! We’d accidentally stumbled into a town-wide tradition.“So it’s an excuse to have a party?” Amaryllis asked.“It is!” July said. “A great time to have a few drinks and catch up. Everyone had their day, and for a lot of us it was really special. Plus today's extra-special. I heard that you fixed the old dungeon up?”“Yup,” I said. “Got a quest prompt for it and everything. It should be nice and safe. But maybe you should find someone in town with Cleaning magic and get it up to Master Rank; it’s what I used to clean the Evil Roots away.”“Cleaning, huh?” July asked. “I’ll let others know. Don’t think it’s that rare a skill, so maybe we’ll manage! Here, eat more, it’s all on the house for tonight!” She grabbed a bowl-full of some potato-salad and scooped some onto our plates.I laughed and tucked in, then took a big gulp of some juice July served.People wanted us to recount our story of our fight, and I was surprised when Amaryllis was the one to start telling the story. I think she added a lot of details that I wasn’t entirely sure were accurate, but with her sweeping wing gestures and confident squawking voice, everyone was hanging on her every word.Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!Awen had a small smile on as she polished off her second tankard of beer, then let out an unlady-like burp and giggled into a closed fist.I was smiling so much my cheek muscles were getting a workout.Soon I had to get up and move around. There was dancing to be done, with a bunch of fishmen having gotten little drums out and someone had a long-necked lute. A bunch of girls, most looking a couple of years older than me, were dancing off to one side with nervous looking boys.I joined in for a spin or two. I didn’t know the steps, but I learned quickly, and I managed to pull Bastion in to act as my partner. He was stiff as can be, but he was still a great dancer.When I started to feel a bit sweaty, I came back to July for water and found her serving pies, and I stuffed myself full while Amaryllis talked really loudly about politics to a few older fishfolk.Awen was sipping on another tankard when I left, my tummy sloshing and over-full with pie, to go find the little ladies room.That’s when I ran into Emmanuel.The inn’s washrooms were in their own little building. Not an out-house, exactly, but not too far from that. They were in the back, out of anyone’s way. When I was done and leaving the lady’s side, hands wiggling in the air while Cleaning magic did its thing, I found Emmanuel standing in the shadows of the inn.He was sitting on his haunches, head tilted back to eye the stars, and an empty mug of something by his feet. I hadn’t noticed him earlier, hidden as he was in the shade, away from all the partying and the laughter.“Hey,” I said.The cervid blinked, then looked down at me. “Oh. Hello.”“Broccoli,” I said.“Pardon?”“It’s my name. Broccoli. I think I told you the first time we met, but you never really called me by my name, so I figured you just forgot it.”“Ah,” he said. “I... yes, that’s likely, Miss... Broccoli. Like the vegetable?”“It’s a flower, but also a vegetable,” I said. I was always quite proud of my name; it was a very special one.He nodded. “Yes, I see,” he said. He looked at me for a bit more, then turned his head back again to eye the stars.“You’re not a bad guy, you know,” I said.Emmanuel glanced at me from the corner of his eye, just for a moment, but he didn’t respond.“I’m kinda sad things didn’t work out with you and my friends, but still, you... you have potential, you have good intentions. I think that with just a bit more time, and by being a little more open, you could really become someone who’s a great friend.”The cervid took a deep breath, then stood up. “Thank you, Broccoli,” he said. “I think I just need a little bit of time to myself.” His chest puffed out. “It will take more than a bit of sadness to keep Emmanuel Aldelain Von Chadsbourne down.”I giggled, then hugged him. It was a bit weird. He was all furry, and his body wasn’t optimally shaped for hugs from someone smaller, but I did my best. “I hope you have the best adventures, Emmanuel, and I hope you make wonderful friends along the way. Everyone deserves to make their own family.”He blinked a few times, and I had the impression his eyes were a bit on the watery side. “Thank you.”I waved at him, then stared up at the stars myself for a little bit. I wondered if they were lonely, way up there, so far apart from all the others.I pouted. I was making myself lonely just thinking about it. It was time to go and bother my friends!It wasn’t hard to find everyone. Bastion was leaning against a post off to one side, arms partially crossed and a mug of something in one hand. He was eyeing the dance floor where...I stared.Awen was laughing and giggling, feet stomping in time with the beat of a drum. A drum that was sitting by her hip and that she was thumping herself, the other musicians cheering her on by adding some melody to her heartbeat-fast beat.I found Amaryllis, sitting at the bar, a glass in her talons. “Is Awen...”“Very drunk? Yes,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, okay,” I replied. “Should we do anything about it?”“Other than enjoy it? No, not yet. We can mock her in the morning when her head is splitting.”“How much did she drink?” I asked. Though the rest of the party hadn’t reached its end, it certainly felt like it was at its peak. A few boys jumped onto the dance floor and tried to keep up with Awen’s frantic dancing, but she was surprisingly dextrous as she swayed around and kept time with her drums.“Three tankards of beer,” Amaryllis said. “A small glass of some stronger spirits. And she stole a glass of my wine.”“Is that a lot?”“For a grown person, no, but for someone Awen’s size? Well, I think the results speak for themselves.”Awen saw us, then gasped and stopped to give her drums to a wide-eyed boy before running over, hair all a flutter behind her, a big tangle of gold that splashed forward when she crashed into me with a big sloppy hug. “Broccoli!”“Awen!” I cheered.“Awa! I was dancing! Did you see? I think I did okay. I never did like dancing all that much, but the dancing they do here is so much nicer than the dancing back home. And when I asked one of the boys if I could play with his instruments he went all funny and ran away, so I took his drums. I never actually played the drum before. It’s a lot of fun! I don’t know why my mom insisted it’s a man’s instrument, it’s perfectly lady-like.”“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said. I eyed Amaryllis, and only got a knowing smile in return.Right. Now to figure out how to get Awen to calm down, and maybe drink some water.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Five — A Happy Sort of Busy
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Five — A Happy Sort of Busy
I had everyone on the Beaver’s crew gather in the kitchen the next morning. I’d gotten some eggs and bacon, as well as some of that potato salad from July. That with some fresh bread and a can of beans made for a big, hearty breakfast.If I wasn’t so active, I’d be afraid of gaining weight with such a big meal, even if I wasn’t touching half of it.The crew seemed pretty happy though. Except for Awen.“A... awa,” she said. It wasn’t just any ‘awa’ though, this was a pained ‘awa.’Awen’s head was resting against the table, both arms folded up over to hide her from the light. Sally was patting her back a bit awkwardly. “Is she okay?” she asked.“Awen drank too much,” I said.Oda chuckled. “Looks like it.”“Awa,” Awen complained. Her arms wiggled a bit, but it didn’t go much further than that.Oda, Sally, and Joe were sitting next to each other, with Steve and Gordon, our harpy crewbirds, next to them. Clive was on the opposite side, next to Bastion, who had finished eating before anyone else.Amaryllis was next to me, and at the head of the table, sitting on the table, was Orange, who had a bowl of mixed leftovers before her. She would be very miffed if I didn’t serve her anything, even if she didn’t plan on eating any of it.Orange was one hard working kitty, and she took her job-sleeping on the Beaver Cleaver’s duck-shaped figureheads-very seriously.“Right, I suppose someone mature ought to take care of this one,” Amaryllis said. “We are four days behind our original schedule. We were meant to arrive a week before the official delegation. Now, if we hurry up and don’t spend any time on unimportant things on the way, we might still arrive a day or two ahead of the delegation.”“That’s still good, right?” I asked.“It’s imperative that we arrive before them,” Amaryllis said. “It will give us time to settle in and get a good idea of how things are going in Sylphfree. If the delegation is delayed, or fails to arrive, it will mean we’re in a better position to take over.”“What’s all this about a delegation?” Joe asked.The Scallywags hadn’t really been informed about all that, had they? “There’s trouble brewing between a few countries,” I said. “Mostly Sylphfree, the Trenten Flats, and the Harpy Mountains. I think Deepmarsh and Mattergrove are involved too. If things go wrong, it might mean a sort of really messy fight.”Amaryllis huffed and unrolled a map. There were three lines across it. “This is the path the delegation is meant to take. From Fort Sylphrot, to Farseeing, around to Fort Daggerscar, then into Sylph skies.”“The government will make them go around the long way,” Bastion said. “North first, then around and south. It’s safer, but significantly longer. Mostly it’ll be a show of force.”Amaryllis nodded. “Good, that will add... maybe two days to their travel time?”“How fast are they?” I asked.“Not very,” Amaryllis said. “The ship they're leaving in is a retrofitted cargo-hauler. A nice vessel now, to be sure, but it’s only hull-deep; that thing has engines two generations older than what the Beaver has.”“What kind?” Awen asked, still sounding bleary.“Nautilus, I think,” Amaryllis said.“Those overheat,” Awen said. “Annoying to maintain.”Amaryllis shrugged. “If you say so. They’ll have mechanics with them, and a pair of escort ships. They’re supposed to take a week to travel across, stops included.”“That’s pretty slow,” I said.Amaryllis grumped. “The Beaver is significantly faster. We can hit thirty knots, right?” the last she asked to Clive.“More, when the wind’s in our favour,” the old harpy said. “He’s not the fastest ship, but this boy here’s not loaded down with anything at all. We’re running light.”“Still,” Amaryllis said. She traced the path we were supposed to take. “We left a week early, on a course that would only take us six or so days. The delegation was going to leave the day after we arrived, winds willing.”“And now?”“Today’s the day we were supposed to arrive in Goldenalden,” Amaryllis said.“Oh,” I said. “We’re really late.”“We still have a week,” Amaryllis said. “That’s how long the delegation will take to get there. A week to travel from here”—she tapped Insmouth on the map—“to here.” The tip of her talon traced over to Goldenalden, then tapped down twice.“That’s pretty far,” I said.Clive leaned forwards. “It’s not all bad. The winds over Methal Bay are strong; they wrap around south to north. It will be hard over the Hoofbreaker woods, but once we’re past that, we’ll have the wind at our backs the entire time. Without wind, I’d say it’ll take seven, eight days to make it. With good winds, we can cut off a day or two.”Awen raised a hand. “We have oil, but no actual fuel. We can burn it, but it’s not good for the engines in the long run. And we don’t have enough to make it either way. We left with enough fuel to fly for ten days.”“And it’s been seven, with another seven coming up,” Amaryllis said.“Our fuel bunkers aren’t very big,” Awen said.I tapped my chin. “We can stop by the Grey Wall,” I said. “Just a quick stop, for fuel and to resupply, then we continue. Do they sell fuel there?”“They do,” Clive said. “Been there before. Bad prices, but they’ll have some.”“So, that’s the plan then. We rush over to the Grey Wall, see if anyone needs help, and if they don-” I cut myself off on seeing Amaryllis’ look. “Uh. I mean, we go there, gas up, and move on?”“Yes,” she said. “That’s exactly right. No stopping any longer than we need to.”If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.“Not even to sight-see?” I asked.“No, not even to sight-see.”I pouted. “That’s no fun.”“We’re doing a job, Broccoli. We’re not here to muck about.”“We’re on an adventure; mucking about is half the goal,” I said. “But... but, I know that you’re right. We should get to Sylphfree sooner rather than later. Are there any shortcuts we could take?”“Shortcuts?” Amaryllis asked. “No, Broccoli, it’s nearly a straight flight.”Bastion shifted. “That’s not entirely true. Once in Sylphfree, you’ll need to navigate around some of the mountains. Your map isn’t entirely accurate with them either. I suspect the delegation’s going to be dragged around too. It would make for a good show of military might to have them fly over some known bases with more than their usual share of ships.”“That doesn’t sound like a shortcut,” Amaryllis said.“I could, in theory, use my position as a paladin to allow us quick passage to the capital. Fewer inspections.”I grinned. “That would be super,” I said.“It wouldn’t work with a crew mostly made up of harpy though,” Bastion said.Amaryllis hummed while running her talon through her wing feathers. “In that case, could we hide some of the crew? Or disguise them? Broccoli, and Awen and the Scallywags should be enough to operate the ship, I suspect. We’ll still need to stop and get a permit to fly the Beaver to the capital.”“Perhaps,” Bastion said. “We... you could hire some temporary sylph crewmates as well.”“Neat!” I said. “More friends.”Breakfast didn’t last much longer than that. Awen hardly touched hers, I noticed, but she was a bit under the weather. I picked things up, cleaning them as I went, and set the leftovers away while the crew dispersed and got ready to take off.Awen stayed at the table while I put things away and everyone else except for Orange left.“Are you okay?” I asked.Orange shrugged.“I meant Awen,” I said to the cat.She gave me a kitty glare, and I giggled a bit as I moved over and scooped her up for a quick hug. She didn’t like that much, but even if she had grown a bit, she was still just a young cat, and she couldn’t squirm away from my affections yet.“There, consider yourself snuggled, young lady,” I said as I set her down. “Now get back to work. And keep an eye on everyone while you’re above, okay?”Orange gave me a kitty huff before sauntering off.“Broccoli,” Awen said.“Yup?”“I think I’m dying.”I held back a laugh. “Oh?” I asked. It wasn’t nice to laugh at a friend. I pulled up a chair next to hers, then gave her a side hug. “How’s your health?”“It’s fine,” she said. “But my head hurts, and I’m... urgh.”“Right, let’s get you some more water, and then you can go take a small nap, alright? You’ll feel better by this afternoon, I’m sure. Maybe some tea instead of water? I have some for aches.”“Please.”I ran my fingers through her hair, straightening it out a bit before I got up and set some water to boiling.A few minutes later, Awen drank her tea and I pushed a bit of bread on her just to make sure her tummy wouldn’t be empty. Then it was off to bed with her. Her room was... a bit of a mess, I noticed. I could clean the dirt and dust with a glance, but there was a lot of picking up to do. Something for when Awen wasn’t in such rough shape. She definitely deserved a morning off.I tucked her in, but I think she barely noticed. “Good night,” I said before closing the door to her room carefully. Then it was up and onto the deck with me, but not before picking up my captain’s hat.The Captaining skill I gained from my captain’s hat combined with my own skill, pushing it to Rank D. Not super, but it was kinda neat to have skills working in tandem like that.The deck of the Beaver was... not all that chaotic, really. We didn’t have a crew big enough for anyone to be bumping into anyone else. The Scallywags and our harpy crew were setting things up, checking the lines, and generally getting into position. Clive was at the wheel, with Amaryllis next to him, a map pinned down on the bannister with what looked like a bit of magic trickery.“Are we all ready?” I asked as I climbed up to the top of the quarter deck.“Aye, Captain,” Clive said. “On your word.”I took a deep breath and scanned the world beyond the Beaver. Insmouth looked peaceful, little ships still setting out to water from the port, and plumes of white smoke rising from chimneys. The skies were bright, bright blue, cloudless and inviting. There was a smidge of wind coming from the... west, I thought. It would be at our side for a bit of the trip, something to keep in mind.“Okay then,” I said before I made myself louder. “Engines on! Anchors up! All foresails to full and mizen sails to quarter!”The crew snapped to it and I got an impressed, if a little confused, look from Amaryllis. Was my Captaining skill finally working?“Clive, nose in the air, we have some catching up to do.”“Aye, aye!” he replied.The huge propeller started to spin up. The engine rumbled in protest for a bit, then started to roar while plumes of black-ish smoke puttered out from the sides of the ship. I’d have to clean that off before the smoke stained the Beaver’s bright yellow paint.The anchors were weighted and with a lurch, the Beaver left the ground.Some folk from Insmouth were there watching us, so I made sure to raise my hat and wave our goodbyes.It was off to the next leg of our adventure for us. We had a bit of urgency, but nothing too critical. I was sure we’d find some time for a few smaller adventures along the way.“Stop grinning so much, you dolt. And to think I thought you looked mature for a moment.”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Six — Skills and Levels and Stats, Oh My!
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Six — Skills and Levels and Stats, Oh My!
By mid-afternoon, things had settled into a normal routine. The Scallywags and our harpy crewmates were moving about, making sure everything was in proper order, but it wasn’t with any sort of urgency. There were ropes to tie and sails to deploy, but we weren’t doing any sort of fancy flying. If it took a minute or two, then that was fine.I took some time to give the Beaver Cleaver an inspection tour after lunch. Just a quick walk around the outside, eyes peeled to notice frayed rope or sails that might need mending. So far though, there wasn’t anything of the sort.With Awen and Clive both making sure the Beaver was in tip-top shape, the ship was sure to stay afloat for a long time.“Hello Orange,” I said as I reached the very front of the port hull. That’s where Orange chose to park herself today, right atop the head of our duck-shaped figurehead.The cat was on her side and curled up in a ball, her fur kind of just... lumping off the top of the duck head like a physical manifestation of laziness in blob form.“Working hard, I see,” I said with a giggle.The cat cracked one eye open, yawned, and snuggled in tighter.I reached up and started petting her, which was rewarded a moment later when she started rumbling. “You’re getting a bit big for the figurehead, aren’t you?” I asked. If she continued growing at her current rate, in a few weeks she’d have a hard time sleeping there. Or maybe she’d slow down and it wouldn’t be a problem. “I’ll ask Awen. I’m sure we can rig up some sort of board or something for you to sleep on. Maybe a box?”She continued purring, which I decided to interpret as acceptance.My tour of the Beaver complete, at least for the moment, I descended down to the cabins level, then took a moment to peek in on Awen.Awen was usually a very lady-like sleeper, even if she didn’t pick up her room that much. Today seemed to be the exception, with her arms and legs sprawled out all over and her nightgown tangled up in a way that was very scandalous.I clicked the door shut. If she was making little “awa-awa” snores, then she was probably just fine.“Hey.”I turned and found Amaryllis at the back of the ship, one shoulder leaning against the wall.“Oh, hey,” I said. “What’s up?”“Right now? Nothing. Looking in on Awen?”I nodded. “I was worried she was still feeling sick.” I gestured to the door to Awen’s cabin. “She looks fine though.”“She will be,” Amaryllis dismissed. “I doubt she’ll be drinking so much next time. And her sleep schedule might be messed up after today.”“Maybe she can take the first night shift, then,” I said. “I wouldn’t mind keeping her company. Truth is I’m not doing much to make myself useful right now.”“Hmph,” Amaryllis said. “I just finished our accounting. Not too sure what to do myself. I might practice my Puppetry.”“We have accounting?”One of her brows rose. “How do you think we can afford food? Not to mention fuel and other necessities.”“Oh,” I said. “You’re good with numbers and such, right?”Amaryllis’ eyes narrowed. “Yes. I had a full education.”“Do you think you could help me with my class stuff? With skill points and all? I’ve been meaning to ask you for help for a little bit.”“Hmph, yeah, sure,” she said. “Come on, this might be better with pen and paper at talon.”I grinned and followed Amaryllis to the office space at the back of the quarterdeck. In theory, this was supposed to be the captain’s cabin. It had a few windows at the rear overlooking the sky and forests below, and was quite a bit bigger than any of the normal rooms. But really, it wouldn’t be fair for anyone to have a room bigger than anyone else’s. Then again... the Scallywags and other crewmates slept on hammocks. Were we being unfair?“You’re thinking stupid thoughts again,” Amaryllis said as she reached the desk in the middle of the room and plopped herself down behind it. “Worse, I’m almost certain they have nothing to do with the situation at hand.”“Hey!” I protested. “You’re not wrong, but it’s still kinda rude.”“Sit down, you idiot,” Amaryllis said.I laughed and pulled a chair from the corner over. The chairs had metal caps on their feet, with magnets built into them so that they wouldn’t get flung around if there was a bit of turbulence. I clipped the chair down onto some studs on the floor and plopped myself down. “Oh, wow, this chair is not comfy,” I said.“I know,” Amaryllis said. “It’s why I’m in the good chair.” She wriggled atop the chair that was supposed to be the captain’s office chair. “Now, I need an idea of what your skills are like, just the skills.”“Sure,” I said.She passed over a pen and some paper, and I opened up Mister Menu and transcribed everything as I saw it. It was a bit strange to use a fountain pen. I kinda missed having a ballpoint pen, really.“Here you go!” I said.
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 03%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 100%
Gardening
D — 34%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 100%
Mad Millinery
D — 87%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapons Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
D — 00%
Friendmaking
C — 71%
Matchmaking
D — 57%
Hugging Proficiency
D — 75%
Captaining
F — 00%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
1
Wonderlander Skill Points
3
General Skill Points
4
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.Amaryllis looked over the list, then she slid over a piece of paper of her own.
Thundere
Rank
Thunder Aspect Manipulation
Expert
Electrostatic Discharge
Journeyman
Thunder Clap
Disciple
Mage Sight
Disciple
Electro-Couragement
Disciple
Puppeteer
Rank
String Manipulation
Disciple
Anatomical Motion
Intermediary
General Skills
Rank
Observe
Apprentice
Book Smart
Apprentice
Accounting
Apprentice
Flying
Apprentice
Business Sense
Apprentice
Negotiations
Intermediary
Bluffing
Apprentice
Huffing
Apprentice
Precision Magic
Intermediary
“Oh,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve seen your skills and stuff yet.” The ranks threw me off almost right away. If I remembered it right, Rank E was Intermediary, D was Apprentice, C was Disciple, B was Journeyman and A was Expert. She didn’t have anything above that.“I have... a skill or two that are entirely useless. I’ll need to find a way to get rid of those.”I stared at Huffing. I looked up to Amaryllis. Then I looked back down at Huffing.“Don’t you dare,” she said.Pinching my lips together, I managed not to laugh any. “It’s okay?” I said. “I have a useless skill too.”“Yes, quite.”“So, your other skills all look cool. You haven’t spent your general skill points?”“I will,” she said. “On my newest skill. Precision Magic doesn’t exactly save any mana when I use spells, but it does make the spells themselves more effective, which means fewer spells overall. I find that I’m not fond of being a single-shot woman, and both of my classes require that I spend quite a lot of mana.”“That makes sense,” I said. “Your Puppetry stuff is really coming along. What’s Anatomical Motion do?”Amaryllis leaned forwards a little. “It’s a skill that helps move complex objects with string, wire and mana. It’s practically necessary if you want to move a life-like puppet. Or to puppet a living thing.”Scary! “So, you seem to spend your points a lot across a bunch of things.”“And you hyper focus yours,” Amaryllis said. She tapped my list with a tallon. “Cleaning at Master is impressive, but it means that a lot of your other skills haven’t really been improved past their natural limit.”“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know if I want to save up more points to bring it up to the next rank.”“That would be eight points,” Amaryllis said. “Eight levels worth of points spent on one skill upgrade.”I nodded. “But Master Cleaning is really strong. Ever since I hit Rank S I can take out Evil Roots, no problem.”She hummed. “Well, I see two options for your Cinnamon Bun Bun class. Either you start diversifying now, maybe putting points into the other skills you enjoy, or you save up to bring Cleaning to a level that... well, I don’t know if anyone has ever gone that far with it.”“Is Master common?” I asked.“No, not truly. The average level in the world is likely below twenty. Most people in a city will be capped at ten unless they can visit a dungeon. It’s rare that people reach their second cap and visit a second dungeon at level twenty. And even if they do, the short-term gain for spending skill points often outweighs the benefit of waiting long enough to reach Master.”So plenty of people had the points to get one skill to Master, but it was better to have two good skills instead of one extreme skill? It kinda made sense.“What do you think I should do?” I asked.Amaryllis huffed, no doubt putting that new skill of hers to good use. “I can’t tell you what to do. But I can advise you a little. I would save up for Grand Master. Your other Cinnamon Bun Bun skills aren’t that incredible. Dancing would help you in a fight, and Way of the Mystic Bun is likely a very powerful skill, seeing how hard it is to obtain, but in the long run Cleaning magic will likely trump them both.”I nodded. “Okay. And I guess if we’re in big trouble...”“Then you can always spend a point or two right away and obtain a fairly sizable boost to two useful skills,” she said. “Maybe you could even put some points into Adorable.”“No!” I protested.“It’s a powerful skill. People will underestimate you, and find you more attractive.”I shook my head, ears flippy flopping wildly. “I’m not adorable!”“Of course not,” she agreed. “Setting aside your main class, you have plenty of opportunities with General skills and your Wonderlander class. Tea Making is more versatile than I would have thought, though I suppose it’s not too different from the skills some good chefs have. Mad Millinery... how is that working out for you?”I tapped my captain’s hat. “It’s buffing one skill right now. It can only give me a skill one rank below Mad Millinery, so it’s not super strong yet, but I think it’ll get better?”“It’s a skill that allows you to have any other skill, but only at a rank below itself, and only when you’re wearing appropriate headgear.” Amaryllis rubbed at her chin. “It’s definitely one of the strangest skills I’ve ever heard of. Very flexible though. A new skill at the drop of a hat, so to speak.”I snorted at the pun. “I guess so. I have a hunch that it’ll be really good once I hit Rank C with it.”“You don’t have anything too powerful from that class, I don’t see why you shouldn’t invest every point you do get as soon as you get them, though you might want to save some in case you obtain a game-changing skill.”“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know what kind of skill I can expect from the class though.”Amaryllis shrugged. “Level up and find out.”“Such helpful advice.”She shot me a look. “General skills. You barely use Insight as far as I can tell.”“I keep forgetting!”“Then practice not forgetting,” she said. “Otherwise it’s a waste of good points. Friendmaking has been useful, I think.”“Very,” I said.“Will you bring it up a rank?”I considered it. “It would take two points. I only have four left. I guess I could?”“It’s up to you. I’d put a point in Makeshift Weapons, though, it’s one of your only combat abilities.”“And then a point in either Hugging Proficiency, Captaining, or Matchmaking?” I asked.“Or don’t put any points in Friendmaking and one in each of them.”I chewed on my lip. “I really want Hugging Proficiency. And Captaining... and Matchmaking too. I think I’d rather have those than Friendmaking at a higher rank. After all, I already have the best friends ever—I don’t need to get that many more, do I?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Moron. But it seems like a decent idea. A good spread of decently useful skills, as opposed to a single good but niche ability. The opposite of what you’re doing with Cleaning.”“Right then!” I said. Time to spend some points!
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Seven — A Huffy Afternoon
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Seven — A Huffy Afternoon
I wasn’t angry, just very... disappointed.“Don’t pout at me,” Amaryllis said.I ‘hmphed’ and turned my head away from the harpy. We were both on the foredeck, wind whipping by and making our clothes flip and flop along with our hair and feathers. It was a bit chilly, probably owing to the extra height.“Don’t ‘hmph’ me either,” she said.“Fine then,” I shot back, “but that doesn’t mean that I won’t express my disappointment in you.”“Disap— Broccoli, we’re on a tight schedule.”“We could have made some time,” I said. “Or at least we could have done a slow fly-by to wave to all the little buns.”Amaryllis rolled her eyes, then set her talons on her hips. “If we did that, then you’d just insist that we stop by for a quick bit of tea, then you’d insist on seeing Carrot and her children, and then you wouldn’t be able to say no to the little ones when they asked for another tour of the Beaver. I know you, Broccoli Bunch. You have the self-control of a lemming.”I puffed my cheeks out. “I do not.”“Oh yes, you do. Look at me in the eyes and tell me that you wouldn’t insist on holding the first baby bun you saw.”I turned, refusing to look her way. “I wouldn’t,” I lied.She huffed. I didn’t even bother translating that one. “Maybe one day we’ll be back around this area, and we can stop in to see Momma and the others. I’ve no doubt that old bun will outlive us all.”“How can she do that?” I asked.Amaryllis blinked, then sighed. She’d obviously been taken off-guard by my ignorance again. “Resilience makes you more resistant to things. The general belief is that it acts as a flat percentage to your body’s own capabilities.”“Uh,” I said. “So I’m fifty-five percent tougher?”“More like it takes fifty-five percent more energy to, for example, cut you than it would without any resilience. Even at a hundred or more, you’re not uncuttable. Resilience also makes you resist the impact of aging that much better. Again, even at over a hundred you’ll still age, just more gracefully.”That was super neat! But I was still miffed at Amaryllis. “Even if I had the most resilience ever, it still wouldn’t protect me from the emotional damage of missing out on baby buns.”Amaryllis groaned. “You’re such an idiot,” she said.I couldn’t help but giggle. I really was disappointed that we’d flown right past Hopsalot while I was too busy to notice, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Amaryllis was right about us being on a tight deadline. I couldn’t afford to turn us around now.I promised myself that I’d return to Hopsalot one day, and that I’d find all of the cute buns and I’d pinch every cheek and hug them all until they squeaked.Amaryllis gave me a reluctant hug in apology, then she headed off to do... something. There was surprisingly little to do once the ship was on its way. The skies were clear, and Clive said they’d be staying that way for a while. We had two people taking care of the ship, switching out every six hours, and that was enough. My next turn at the helm wouldn’t be until tonight.I stepped up to the very front of the ship and climbed over the rails to sit next to the figurehead. Looking down, all I could see were my feet dangling over a couple of kilometres of empty air with thick woods way below.Good thing I wasn’t afraid of heights.I leaned against the figurehead, then looked up a bit as Orange raised her head and stared. “Just having a sit,” I said. “I have some free time, so I figured I’d just relax a bit.”I did have one thing I could do. My talk with Amaryllis about skills and such that morning had been pretty productive. I had points to spend and skills to improve.Matchmaking, Captaining, Hugging Proficiency, and Makeshift Weapons Proficiency. Four skills for four points. The only problem was that of those four, the only one I could spend points on right then and there was Makeshift Weapons Proficiency.The other three were all over the place, level-wise. It would take a bit to get them to the top of Rank D.Makeshift Weapons ProficiencyRank D — 100%The ability to use non-weapons as weapons. Your ability to find and use makeshift weapons has improved.One of my staple combat skills, at least when Cleaning magic didn’t do the trick. Way of the Mystic Bun allowed me to move and strike, but it was Makeshift Weapons that really helped smack things down. I think having a more specific weapon skill would probably be stronger, but this skill made up for it with versatility.I couldn’t be weaponless if everything was a weapon.Do you wish to increase Makeshift Weapons Proficiency to Rank C for One General Skill Point?“Yes please,” I said to Mister Menu.Makeshift Weapons Proficiency was a Stamina-based ability. That meant that at Rank C, it was likely to gain some sort of Mana-based sub-ability, at least if the current pattern held.Congratulations! Makeshift Weapons Proficiency is now Rank C!Makeshift Weapons ProficiencyRank C — 00%The ability to use non-weapons as weapons. Your ability to find and use makeshift weapons has improved. You may push mana into a non-weapon to increase its durability and strength.“Oh,” I said as I read the prompt. That sounded really neat! “What do you think, Orange? What kind of effect does pushing magic into a thing have? It says it makes it tougher and stronger, but that’s not super precise. Maybe... Cleaning magic wrapped around the weapon?”I could already do that, I was pretty sure. My magic control wasn’t that good, but with Cleaning magic it was easy.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.Could I do it with Fire mana?“I think I need to experiment,” I said.Orange looked at me, then started licking her paws.“Yeah, you’re right, not now. Especially with fire. Not on the ship.”I leaned back against the figurehead, then grinned as Orange got up, stretched so that her back was like a banana and her butt was way up in the air, then she hopped down and plopped herself onto my lap.I scritched her ears while looking out ahead. There was a big fogbank hugging the bottom of a big mountain range. From looking at a few maps I know that those were the Crying Mountains, though some people had called them the Screaming Mountains too.My ears twitched forwards. I could hear a sound on the wind, a distant call that I couldn’t quite make out. It sounded like wind chimes. Was that the mountain range?As we moved ahead, and I settled into my spot with Orange warming my lap, I watched the fog slip off the mountain. I couldn’t help but gasp.There were huge pillars all across the mountainside. I couldn’t tell how big they were, exactly, but they had to be massive if they were visible from all the way where we were. Some of them started halfway down the mountain and yet were tall enough that I was certain they passed the peaks.I leaned forwards, eyes wide to take it all in.More crystals appeared, some no bigger than a house, others like huge pillars, and the closer we came, the louder the song grew.And it was a song. There were calls and repeats, a chorus that returned every so often, and deep bassy, bell-tolls.The clouds parted around the tallest peak, and I stared at a pillar of teal crystal that reached for the heavens.I had to turn my eyes away when the sun caught on the crystal and sent bright flashes across the sky.Orange got up, spun around once, then slumped back down, obviously she didn’t appreciate my twitching. “Sorry,” I said as I rubbed her ears.“We’re getting close.”I jumped about a foot in the air, arms windmilling to stay on the rail. Orange jumped off me, then floated in mid-air, relative to the Beaver, and glared back.“Forgive me,” Bastion said. “I didn’t mean to spook you.”“You’re so quiet!”“I flew a little,” he admitted.I settled back down on the rails and let out a breath. “It’s fine,” I said. “No harm and all that.”Orange gave me a look. Obviously her petting time had been harmed, which was very important to her.“What’s up?” I asked Bastion.“Just came up to see the sights,” he said. “I’ve heard of the Crying Mountains. They’re about as far from Sylphfree as the Nesting Kingdom is, but there’s just not as much of interest this way. Still, I learned about them without ever expecting to see them.”I nodded and looked back at the mountains. “Are they natural? The big crystals, I mean?”“No, those are Crys crystals. We might meet some of them at the Grey Wall.”People who built using giant crystals. That was cool. “And that noise, the song?”Bastion tilted his head. “I can barely make it out over the wind. You must have better hearing than I. That’s just the sound the crystals make. It sounds like a high-pitched scream. I’ve heard that it’s impossible to visit the Crying Mountains proper without being driven out by the noise.”“It makes you crazy?”“I think it’s just much louder by the source.”Oh, that made sense. It would be kind of hard to sleep while what sounded like thousands of wind chimes were clanging away.“I’m glad I caught you alone,” Bastion said.“I have Orange with me,” I said.“Mostly alone, then. I... this is difficult.”I turned, one leg slipping over the rail so that I was straddling it. “What is it?” I asked. He seemed a little conflicted, which was strange for Bastion.“I’ve determined, after much observation and research, that you aren’t a bad person.”“Um, thanks?”“Nor are your friends. Awen is a little sheltered, but she’s a kind young woman. Amaryllis has a bit of attitude, but she tends to want to do the right thing. They’re both, in their own way, noble. And I do mean that in the sense that they’re good people.”“Thanks,” I said, a little less confused. “You’re pretty good yourself.”Bastion shifted, his posture drooping. I’d never noticed just how straight he made himself. He was about three feet shorter than me-if I counted our heights from the tip of my ears-but when he slouched he became much smaller.“Broccoli, I know you’re a good person, but some of the things you’ve done... You’ve all but admitted that you have broken cores before.”“And that’s bad,” I said.“It’s... it’s not good. You have extenuating circumstances. A quest from the World itself. There can’t be a better reason to do what you have, but I still suspect that there are some people in Sylphfree who would react negatively to the news, regardless.”“Even if we tell them about the quest?” I asked.“Even then. Worse, some might think that by removing you, the World might give that same quest to others in order to accomplish its goals.”I settled back. “Oh.”“As much as it might hurt my career, I won’t be telling anyone. I would like to think that I’m an honourable sylph first and foremost, but I think we need to be ready to deal with some difficult questions.”“Like make up a story? I could lie to people, tell them that it’s all some big conspiracy.”“Maybe we can all pretend that you’re mute so that you let others do the convincing?” he tried.I huffed. “I’m not that bad.”“I should have approached Amaryllis first,” he muttered.What was with people today?
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Eight — The Great Grey Wall
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Eight — The Great Grey Wall
It took a long time for the scale of the Grey Wall to make sense. At first it was just a vague line over the horizon; grey, of course, but the dark grey of something hidden in shadows.Then we continued to move, flying forwards through the early morning on a straight path towards the wall. It felt like it was taking forever to reach it; even as mid-morning passed, the wall was still just a huge thing in the distance.It wasn’t until we were so close that the shadow of the wall was below us that I really started to take in the scale of it.We were a kilometre off the ground, and the wall was blocking our view of the horizon.Its sides looked like smooth stone, with the top built as tiered segments, each covered in battlements that looked like they were wide enough to fit a house between them.“Impressive, isn’t it?” Clive asked.I nodded and leaned against the rails of the quarterdeck to better make out the little details of the wall. Not that there were many. It looked like whoever built it made sure that it was as flat and plain as it could be on the outside. “It’s so big!”“Took near-on a century to build,” Clive said. “And by the time it was done, airships were becoming common enough that it’s hardly worth much at all.”That was true. As a defensive thing, it was pretty useless if people could just fly around it. For that matter, there was ocean to the north and south of the walls, two different oceans. I could imagine someone just sailing around the wall.“It’s really impressive though,” I said.“Aye, there is that. I suppose most folk would think twice about wanting to pick a fight with someone who can build something like that. I certainly wouldn’t want to be aboard a ship that made itself an enemy of the cry.”“Why not?” I asked. Not that I planned to be anyone’s enemy, of course.“They can bend light, and use strange and powerful magics that can make the very air burn, no matter how far from them it is,” Clive said. “Not something that you want to face when you’re aboard an airship.”I nodded along. That was scary.The Beaver continued along, bobbing and bouncing as we met a bit of turbulence near the top of the wall. Clive spun the wheel and soon we were skimming along the edge of the wall, using it as cover from all the wind.When we were within a hundred or so metres of it, I moved to the side and shielded my eyes from the sun to better take it in. It wasn’t quite as smooth from up close. There were little holes, and... windows?I stared at a little balcony as we flew past it. Just a little thing, with some flowers in planters and a stone door behind it. People lived in the wall? That was so cool!“Captain, I think we’ll be needing all hands on deck soon,” Clive said.“Got it!” I hopped down to the main deck, then stuck my head into the door leading into the cabins. “Everyone! All hands on deck!” I shouted.There were some grumbles, but soon enough my friends came up and we started preparing the ship for some more complex maneuvers. “We’ll need to deploy all sails, then retract them in a hurry. Gordon, get your flags ready.”A section of the wall ahead of us was jutting out. Long metal beams stuck out and held up an entire village of wooden homes with tin roofs. Above and below the village were docks for airships, though only about one in five had any ships in them.A tower stuck out of the side of the wall, and from it came a flash of light, then a bunch more. It was like morse, but a lot quieter and also brighter.“Gordon, do you know what they’re signalling?” Clive asked.I squinted at the light. “They’re saying... They want to know if we’re looking for permission to dock.”Clive looked at me. “You know light code?”“I guess so?”He nodded, seemingly impressed. “Can you flash them back?”“Don’t encourage her!” Amaryllis shouted from mid-deck.I stuck my tongue out at her and moved to the Beaver’s side. I didn’t have a mirror or anything fancy like that, but I did have fire magic! Cleaning magic didn’t glow nearly as bright, so I pinched the tip of my tongue between my teeth and created a burst of Fire mana that I quickly shut off.It was really wasteful, mana-wise, and it wasn’t as fast as the flashes from the tower. I imagined the people reading my message felt as if I was talking really slowly. “Hello! We are the Beaver Cleaver, we want to stop for fuel,” I muttered as I sent a reply one word at a time.A return message came back a moment later.“What are they saying?” Clive asked.“Start,” I translated. “Move to dock twelve. Upper level. Wait for inspection. Stop.”Clive nodded. “Aye, upper deck, twelfth dock it is. That’s a handy skill to have, captain.”“Thanks!” I replied. “I kinda cheated though.” It’s not like I had studied to learn it; it was all my weird Riftwalker magic doing the heavy lifting for me. It was hardly fair to someone that studied and learned things the hard way.The Beaver nosed up a little bit as we gained altitude. It rose over the top of the wall, where we had to fight with the wind a little to keep steady.It was a nice day though, with some puffy clouds above, but not too much wind. A decent, if chilly, day for flying.The little town growing out of the wall grew clearer as we approached, and I could make out some numbers next to the docks built above the town. The little forms of workers around dock number twelve suggested that they’d already been informed of our arrival.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.I felt a bit useless as Clive took over and called out some quick orders while handling the engine and the helm all on his own. He was a really impressive pilot, and we were slowing down to a gentle coast on our approach to the docks.Seeing that we were in safe hands, I leaned over and took in the top of the wall. There were some large wooden poles sticking out of it every hundred meters or so. Trebuchets? I didn’t know if those would be dangerous to an airship, but I imagined they’d be bad news to any army walking up to the wall.Workers jumped off the dock, and I felt my heart skip a beat until they started to fly towards us. A mix of harpies and sylphs, all of them with long ropes trailing behind them.They landed on deck, and one of them, a short sylph woman in overalls, ran up to the quarterdeck. “Who’s the captain?” she asked.“Hi! I am,” I said.“Good! Permission to come aboard?”It was a bit silly, since they were aboard already, but I appreciated the politeness all the same. “Sure!”“We’ll be mooring you to the dock’s bits,” she said a moment before waving to her companions. They undid the ropes around their waists even as Clive set the Beaver’s engine to full reverse, slowing us down to a bobbing stop.Soon enough, we were linked up to the docks and being pulled in by a set of huge winches. Big pads were brought up, and the Beaver slid into its moorings with barely a scrape.“Tie her up!” the sylph said.“Actually, the Beaver’s a he,” I said.She blinked, then shrugged. “Okay. Well in either case, welcome to Wallwatch.”“Thank you!”The sylph saluted, a quick and lazy thing. “Don’t forget to watch your step!” she said before flying off. Soon, the others on-deck leapt off, more ropes trailing after them as they moored the Beaver more securely.I jumped down to the main deck and found that our usual away-crew was already gathering together: Amaryllis and Awen and Bastion. The Scallywags were looking a bit nervous too, and I saw them gathering on the Beaver’s other deck to talk in quick whispers that I couldn’t catch, not even with my big ears.Were they thinking of leaving? We never really had a solid agreement with them. They were aboard for however long they wanted. Amaryllis was sure to pay them fairly, and I figured the experience would help a bunch too, if they were looking for more work later, but they could take off and find their own adventure whenever they wanted.“We’re not here to sightsee,” Amaryllis said, snapping me out of my temporary distraction. “We need fuel, some foodstuffs to replace our perishables, and that’s it.”“If that’s the case, then why are all of us getting ready to go?” I asked. Amaryllis was dressed for adventure, and even Awen had her big heavy coat on.Amaryllis huffed. It was an interesting new huff, I think it meant ‘because I know that what I’m saying and what I’ll do aren’t the same, but I need to put on a facade anyway.’ It was definitely one of the more interesting huffs I’d heard from her. “Because with our luck we’ll run into trouble.”“Then we just need to make trouble our friend,” I said.“Idiot,” she said. “Come on, I’m sure you’ll insist that we walk around and take in the sights.”Awen stepped up next to me as we started to head off the Beaver after telling Clive that we’d be back eventually. “Do you think Amaryllis is projecting?” she asked.“Projecting?” I repeated.“I can hear you.”Awen nodded. “She’s blaming you for something that you might do, but it’s like... she’s basically letting you do that thing already. I think she just wants an excuse.”“What do you take me for?”I pinched my chin. “You know, you might be right. That sounds real clever and cunning, and Amaryllis can be that way sometimes.”Awen paused by the edge of the ship, screwed up her nose, then jumped over the gap between the Beaver and the pier. She landed with a little stumble, but I helped her stay even. “I think my mom used to do that kind of thing. She used to be very good at projecting.”Amaryllis huffed most mightily and scowled at us. “Don’t compare me to your mother. And I’m not projecting!”“So you don't secretly want to go on an adventure?” I asked.“No!”I grinned. “No, you don’t, or no, you’re not being secretive about it?” I asked sweetly.Awen giggled by my side, and I noticed Bastion paying very close attention to the sky.Someone coughed, and we all froze a bit then stared at a man in a suit that didn’t quite fit. He had a little pin to his lapel that read ‘port authority.’ “Hello. I hate to interrupt, but I have the bill for the docking procedure and the pier for the remainder of the day.”Amaryllis stepped up and took the papers the man extended, then she made a big production about how everything was far too expensive before they started bargaining in earnest. I don’t think Amaryllis actually knew how much a berth cost—she was just going to argue for a better price because that’s how she worked.I let her haggle while moving to the edge of the pier. There was an entire town here, maybe even a city if there were more homes within the walls. So many people from so many races, and soon we’d get to explore, even if it was just a little bit.I was looking forward to it!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Armour Up
Chapter Two Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Armour Up
“You’re going to fall off if you keep hanging over the edge,” Amaryllis cautioned.I looked at the rail I was leaning on, and how rickety it seemed, and decided that maybe Amaryllis was right. I’d been enjoying looking down, my head poking over the edge so that I could take in as much of Wallwatch as I could.The ground was so far below!We’d been higher aboard the Beaver, of course, but that was different somehow. The Beaver was flying. Right then, we were just at the top of a very large building. It was a whole lot more intimidating.“The view’s nice,” I said.“I’m sure,” Amaryllis said. “I’m all done. We should be fine as long as we leave before sunset.”We were waiting next to a small tower at the end of the docks. It was a strange little building, made of tin and designed to look a bit like a lighthouse. A really misplaced lighthouse.I clapped my hands. “Alright! Where do we adventure to next?” I asked.“Ah, I think we should get fuel,” Awen said. “It’s the most important thing right now. And after that, if we have time, I would like to visit an armourer.”“An armourer?” I asked.Awen looked down a little, fingers twinning together. “Yes? I think I could use some armour, maybe?”“Armour would be a good investment,” Amaryllis said. “We don’t need you getting hurt, and with your skills as a mechanic, I’m certain you’d be able to maintain it well enough. You could afford to get something more complex than unmoving plate.”“Let’s go shopping!” I declared.“After we get fuel,” Amaryllis said.I rolled my eyes, and then grinned as her feathers started to poof in indignation. “I’m not dumb,” I said. “I know we need fuel first.”“I question that every moment I spend with you,” she said. “And don’t roll your eyes at me! It’s ill-mannered.”Laughing, I bounced ahead of my friends, half-turning once I was a few paces ahead. “Come on, I don’t know where to buy fuel from!”There wasn’t exactly a fuel store, or a gas station for that matter. Amaryllis asked around, and we were directed to a building one level down. That meant taking a circular staircase down from the docks and to a level of the city filled with lots of workshops and more industrial businesses. There weren’t any shops like I was familiar with here. Just local crafters selling things from their workplaces.The fuel depot wasn’t too far off, a little office next to a hole where big tanks were suspended. Hoses stuck out of them, one leading into a cart with a much smaller tank on the back.I followed Amaryllis in, and found it to be a cramped little place, just a front desk with a mana-powered fan squeaking away on it. It smelled like peppers and oil, and the man behind the counter wore a stained jerkin.Amaryllis led the negotiations, because she could be mean in a way that I just couldn’t manage. I’d probably just accept the first offer made and be happy with that.It took a few minutes, but in the end Amaryllis and the man shook, albeit reluctantly, and we were told that as soon as the last delivery of fuel was done, we’d be next.“So,” I said as we stepped back out. It was strange to be outside during midday, and yet not be out in the sun. The layer above wasn’t fully covered, so it left big spots of sunlight along the walkways and streets, but even bigger shadow-y spots lingered too. “We have a couple of hours, then?”“We do,” Amaryllis said.Bastion shifted his shoulders, obviously waiting for us to pick out something to do, since he didn’t seem to mind any. “In that case, we should find Awen some armour! And you too, Amaryllis.”“Me?” the harpy asked.“Yup. You got hurt last time too.”“That was a slight miscalculation.”“The next slight miscalculation could end up with you hurt again,” I said. “I don’t want to see my friends hurt at all.”She squirmed a bit. “Armour is heavy.”“You’re a big, strong birdgirl,” I said. “And with armour, you’ll be a big, strong, tough birdgirl.”“Idiot.”We had to ask for directions to an armourer. As it turned out, there was only one in all of Wallwatch. The city wasn’t all that big, more of a multi-story town than anything. It had all sorts of people from all sorts of species, but only a modest population.It made sense. Wallwatch was about as out-of-the-way as a place could be. I imagine that it was a cool place for people that wanted to be left alone.The armourer’s shop was on the lowest level, where instead of roads there were bridges all over, connecting homes and little plazas together. It was a decently large shop, with a big long chimney sticking out at an angle to spew smoke from the side of Wallwatch.“Hello!” I said as I opened the front door.I was greeted by the ringing clangs and bangs of metal on metal. My bun ears flipped back, protecting them from the noise a little.Awen stepped up and started to give the place a tour. There was armour on racks, and more piled up on shelves along the walls. Not that many though, the entire storefront was small and confined, and with all four of us it was even tighter. We couldn’t even keep each other at more than arm’s length without bumping into the walls.The hammering paused, and someone poked their head in. A grenoil! I hadn’t seen any grenoil in a long while. “Ah! I ‘ave clients!” he cheered. He had that distinct Deepmarsh accent, though it wasn’t as strong as some of the other grenoil I’d met. Probably he spent a lot of time away from home. “Welcome to Wilbur’s, ze best place for armour and trinkets in Wallwatch!”This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“H-hello,” Awen said with a quick courtesy that used her jacket’s hem in place of a skirt. “We’re looking for, ah, a few things.”“Oh of course, of course,” he said as he moved to be behind his counter. It was pretty low, likely on account of grenoils not being all that tall to begin with. “I see some interesting work here. The sylph has some nice equipment there. Is that a Lukas piece?”Bastion looked down at his armour, then back up. “You’re familiar with the royal armourer?”“Just his work, and just wiz my eyes. The bun miss here has... zat’s from Deepmarsh?” he asked, standing a bit taller.“It is!” I said. “Port Royal, a place called, uh.” I turned to Amaryllis and she answered with a shrug.“I know where the shop is, not what it’s called,” she said.“It’s good quality,” Wilbur said. “Does it need any adjusting?”I shook my head, then gestured to Awen and Amaryllis. “My friends keep getting stabbed, so we need armour.”Amaryllis glared. “I’m not even going to waste energy on being indignant. You’re too stupid to be worth the effort.”Wilbur nodded while wisely pretending he didn’t hear that. “Who do we start wiz? I can make somezing custom if you give me a day or two.”“Ah, we don’t have that much time,” Awen said. “I... I’m the one that wants something, mostly.”Wilbur stepped around and started to walk around Awen. “I have a few things that’ll fit with just some quick changes. Not zat big are you? Is zat what you usually wear when out getting stabbed?” He gestured to how Awen was dressed.She had a nice blouse on, with pants tucked into her boots, and of course her big blue coat over it all. “This is what I usually wear, yes.”“Hmm. Not much. I don’t know if stuffing you in full plate would be a good idea. A... mechanic? Well, at least you’ll be able to maintain it. How about scale?”“Scale?” Awen asked.“Over a zin gambeson to prevent chafing,” Wilbur said. He moved back and pulled something from a shelf and held it up. It was a piece of armour, like a long shift, but made entirely of long metal scales.“That looks a bit... much?” Awen tried.Wilbur tossed it back. “Course! In zat case, maybe somezing zat fits a little more snug? I’ve got chain mail zat ought to fit you. Long sleeved too, with a proper gambeson under it so you should be covered fairly well.”The armourer moved to the other side of the room and pulled out a suit of mail with a whole lot of clinking. Awen moved over and poked at it, then nodded. “I think that would be nice.”“Wonderful! I’ll need your measurements to fit zis properly.” He tossed the mail onto his counter, then went to the back and shuffled through a rack with what looked like thickly padded clothes. “Here! Zis is new, it should adjust to you,” he said as he returned with what looked like a long-sleeved shirt that was padded here and there. Nothing as poofy as my first gambeson, but I imagined that the chain would make up for it.“Ah, thank you,” Awen said.“Well, put it on.”Awen’s face changed colours a few times. “Do you have a washroom?” she asked.Wilbur nodded, then directed her to somewhere where she could change. While she was gone, he turned his attention to Amaryllis. “You needed armour too?”“My friends are insisting,” she said.Wilbur tapped his chin while looking her up and down. “The coat’s leather?”“It is.”“Any room inside it?”She pinched the front of her jacket. “Some? I’m hardly overweight.”“Well zen, I have some steel inserts sitting around. Made zem for somezing else, but I’m sure I could fit zem into zat coat of yours. It would armour you up a little. Not too heavy eizer. I’d still suggest a hauberk. Maybe a zin one to wear under ze coat as well?It didn’t take much work at all to find some armour for Amaryllis. She didn’t want her arms covered at all, because that would limit the use of her wings, so Wilbur found a mail shirt similar to the one he’d found for Awen that had a decorative edge to it. By the time Amaryllis surrendered her jacket for the grenoil to modify, Awen returned with her coat folded over an arm and her new gamberson on.It was a deep blue, not too far from her coat, with a tall neck and just a bit of embroidery on it to pretty it up.“Nice!” I said.“It fits well,” Awens said.“Good,” Amaryllis replied. “Speaking of... do you do enchantments?”“Afraid not,” Wilbur said. “I can prepare zings for it, but you’ll need to find someone who knows zat sort of magic better zan I do.”Wilbur told us that the modifications would take a couple of hours, so that left us standing around with nothing much to do. “Should we get lunch?” I asked.That got everyone moving again. We told Wilbur we’d be back soon enough, and as a group, we left and started making our way up a floor, eyes peeled for somewhere to eat at.I was expecting an inn, or a tavern, but instead we found a sort of mom-and-pop restaurant run by a couple of harpies. They specialized in breakfast food, though without any eggs on their menu.But they did have fresh cinnamon buns!We ate, drank (mostly fruit juice, Awen took one look at the alcohol stuff and went pale) and had a good time. It wasn’t some grand adventure, but it was fun with the people I loved the most, and sometimes that was more than enough.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty — A Cry
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty — A Cry
“Spin, spin!” I said.Awen giggled and twirled around, her coat flaring out around her until she stopped and it whipped around, wrapping about her figure. “It’s comfortable,” she said. “A bit heavy, but not too bad.”Wilbur nodded, looking like the frog that caught the fly.Amaryllis bounced up and down a few times, getting used to the new weight of her jacket. “This isn’t bad work,” she said. “A few enchantments for weight and durability, and this will be decent armour.”Neither of my friends were as armoured as I’d like. They didn’t have helmets, for one, and their limbs were mostly unarmoured, but I couldn’t force everyone into full-plate just because I was a little worried, certainly not when my own armour didn’t cover everything. I wouldn’t be a hypocrite.Besides, full-plate made hugging awkward. It made the hugs less warm and less cuddly and a whole lot louder.“It’ll be a pain to change back into this all the time,” Amaryllis said.“Well, we usually know more or less when we’re going on an adventure,” I said. “I wear my armour all the time because... uh, I think it’s cool and comfy, but you could just wear yours when you think there’s going to be trouble.”Amaryllis nodded. It wasn’t that big a compromise to make.Wilbur thanked us for our patronage, and seemed more than happy when Amaryllis gave him a few golden coins for his work.“The armour is a good idea,” Bastion said as we stepped out of the armourer’s shop. It was a bit chilly outside. “In nearly every conceivable scenario, it’s best not to be hit at all, but that can require some skill and luck that isn’t always available. In those cases where you will be hit, having even a little armour is better than not.”I nodded along. That made sense. “Are we going back to the Beaver right away?” I asked.“Might as well,” Amaryllis said. “We don’t have much to do here, and the refueling shouldn’t take all that long. They should be on their way now, and I suppose at least one of us ought to be there.”“I think Clive and the Scallywags can take care of it,” I said.“Ah, I’d like to be there,” Awen said. “Some of the fuel bunkers are tricky to open, and I don’t want them spilling things on the workshop floor. The fuel stinks.”“Really?” I asked. I didn’t spend too much time next to the Beaver’s engine, or in the little workshop Awen used. “If there is a spill, let me know. I can probably clean it up for you.”Awen nodded easily at that. “It would still be a waste.”That was a fair point. We were paying for all the fuel, so we should be using it all.We took a different route back to the top, not to sightsee so much as because I kinda forgot which catwalk we’d used the last time. It did mean that we got to see more of the interior of Wallwatch.The edges of the hanging town all overlooked the forest and fields below, with a lot of shade cast by the wall itself making it cooler. The inner-sections of the city were a lot darker, with magic lamps casting flickering light across streets made of corrugated iron and boxy little homes tucked in tight against each other.It was still lively, though. Kids ran across the street, chasing after balls with strings tied to them in a sort of weird game. There were humans and harpy children, and a few sylphs too. We even crossed an adorable cervid foal stumbling after the others on four gangly legs.We found a stairwell leading all the way to the top of the city, a point above even the docks where a few airships were sitting next to their piers. The Beaver Cleaver wasn’t difficult to make out from the others. It was, in my humble opinion, the most colourful and friendliest ship in the whole lot.We didn’t do drab greys and browns like all of the other ships.“Our ship looks like it’s piloted by a jester,” Amaryllis mumbled.I laughed as I skipped ahead.We arrived at the Beaver just before the people for the refueling did. They were mostly young men whose job seemed to be dragging around a big, heavy looking tank set onto a cart with a hand-pump on the side and a long length of hose.Awen jumped to help them, pointing to the places on the deck that needed to be opened up, and directing the workers when it came time to finally pour the fuel into the Beaver’s reservoirs. It was, apparently, a fairly dangerous task. They had a mage on their team whose entire job was to make sure there were no sparks or fires around the gas, kind of like a reverse Amaryllis.It was neat at first, but I soon lost interest as they took turns pumping one squirtful of fuel after another into the tank.That’s probably why I was the first to see the crystalline figure hovering by the pier leading to the Beaver.One of the cry? They were a big, bright blue crystal, a little shorter than I was, but taller on account of how they floated a few centimetres off the ground. No face that I could see. Or organs, for that matter. Their body was like a many-faceted sapphire on one side, and smooth on the others. I could see right through them.Little zipping flashes of light snapped through their body, like lightning in a bottle. Magic? There had to be something giving them life.“Hello!” I said. I was pretty sure I was talking in the local language too, so they had to understand that. Neat!The hovering crystal slowed to a stop, and I felt a sort of shiver run across me. Had I just been scanned?They rang, like a windchime being tapped ever so lightly. “Greetings,” they said.“I love your voice,” I said. “It’s very pretty.”The being paused, then bobbed up and down. “Thank you, long-eared one.”If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.I giggled. That was a new nickname. “No problem! I’m Broccoli. Broccoli Bunch!”“Our name is difficult for the soft to speak,” they said with three quick rings.I climbed over the Beaver’s rail and sat down atop it so that there wasn’t anything between us except for a long drop. “What is it? I might not have the vocal chords to say it, but I can try my best.”“We are the Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole.”That was a mouthful. Each little bit of the name came with a humming tone, like little bells being tapped in some sort of sequence that flowed into the next. Like someone dropping a box of marbles onto a xylophone.“That’s a very pretty name,” I said.“We thank you. Your name is also... interesting, vegetable pile.”I snorted. Another new nickname. I think I liked ‘long-eared one’ better. “What does your name mean? I’ve never really spoken to any of you before.”“It is rare to find one that understands. We are a shard of Waterwatches, a cry that earned a name. We were split from their compassion, the third to have been split, and we are whole.”“Oh,” I said. I didn’t get it, not entirely, but I could kinda figure it out. “Cry don’t have babies?”“We do not. When we grow grand enough to have earned a name, we may take a small portion of ourselves and give it life.”That was so cool! “Neat!”The cry hovered there for a moment, and I had the impression it was looking at me, then at the ship behind me. “Our name is long to some of the soft ones. We have grown accustomed to earning honorary, though temporary, names.”I nodded. That made sense. “I’ll try to keep your name in mind then, Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole.” I coughed to clear my throat. That had come out as a bunch of really high notes that really tickled. “Did I pronounce that right?”The cry shifted from side to side. “It was a valiant attempt.”I laughed. “That’s a no!” I shrugged. “I can’t pitch my voice that high, sorry. So, what are you doing at the docks?”“We are seeking assistance in exchange for services rendered or precious materials given.”“You’re trying to hire someone?” I asked.The cry bobbed up and down again. Was that a natural gesture, or were they copying a human’s-or some other headed person’s-nod? “What kind of help are you looking for?”“We seek passage to the Lonely Island.”The Lonely Island. That rang a bell. “That’s to the north, right? Between here and Sylphfree?”The cry did its nod again. “We... have one that must be delivered to the island. It is a sensitive manner, but one we would pay dearly to see happen.”I considered it. I was pretty sure we were going to be passing that way anyway. “I could ask my friends. I don’t know what transporting a cry is like, but I do think it would be fun to have one aboard. We could become friends!”Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole.Dream: To grow grand and earn a name.Desired Quality: Someone who would mirror their compassion, and help them protect the unprotected.“We can fly already,” they said. “But the one we wish to protect cannot. We need assistance. And this matter is more delicate than it seems.”“More delicate how?” I asked.The crystalline being didn’t move for a moment, I had the impression they were hesitating, and when they replied, it was with softing tinkles and chimes. “We are not the kindest of people. Calm, yes, and we don’t seek what others have, but we can be as cruel as any soft one. We think this matter is one in which that cruelty shows. We have one that would be broken, their shards buried and cracked. We, personally, do not wish for this to happen. They don’t deserve it. Some cry would disagree.”They were protecting someone, someone that needed to be brought to the Lonely Island to be safe? It was a little strange, and I didn’t have the full picture, which didn’t help any. “Well, the Beaver here will be leaving in a few minutes, maybe in an hour or two at most. And we are heading that way. We’d need to talk with Amaryllis and some of the others about taking on a passenger or two, but I don’t think they’d mind all that much.”“We would be grateful,” they said while tipping our way in what I suspect was an imitation of a bow.I spun around on the railing and jumped to my feet. “Give me two seconds. I need to talk to my friends.”The cry agreed, and hovered there while I bounced over to Amaryllis. She was looking over a ledger of sorts, making little marks with the nib of a feather that I suspected was one of her own. “Having fun?” she asked without looking up.“Yeah! Never met a cry before, really. They’re nice, I think.”“They? Do they have genders?”“I have no idea,” I admitted. “But maybe we’ll have time to find out.”She looked up, eyes narrowing. “Broccoli.”“I didn’t say anything yet!” I defended myself.“I’m no idiot. What did you do?”“Nothing yet. Shard of Compassion is looking for transportation.”“We’re not a passenger ship,” Amaryllis said.I nodded. “I know. But they want to go to the Lonely Island.”“There’s nothing there,” she said.“So there’s no risk in dropping them off.”She huffed. “Did they want transportation back?”I shook my head. “Nope. Just there. They can fly, apparently. They want to carry something... or someone, to the Lonely island. I think it’s a smaller cry? But I’m not sure.”“Hmm,” Amaryllis said. “I know cry don’t eat, and they don’t sleep, so there’s no cost there.” She sighed. “Let me talk to them. We’ll see.”I, of course, hugged the stuffing out of her. “Awesome! This is going to be so cool!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-One — A Crysis
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-One — A Crysis
“So, what’s this about needing transportation?” Amaryllis asked. The words were a bit rude, but her tone was surprisingly business-like.Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole-and gosh, we really did need a nickname for them-bobbed up and down. “We seek passage to the Lonely Island, for ourselves and one other.”“I think we can do that,” I said. I couldn’t help the eager grin. This wasn’t a full-blown adventure, but it wasn’t too far from it!“Assuming you can pay, of course,” Amaryllis said.I pouted. Money stuff was boring, but I couldn’t fault Amaryllis. We had fuel to buy, a pantry to keep stocked, wages to pay and neat things to pick up along the way. Awen was doing most of our maintenance, but maybe we’d need specialized help at some point, which would also cost money.The cry shifted, and for the first time I noticed a little leather pouch tucked against its side. The flap on it opened all on its own, and a small device came floating out of it. It looked like a mini-typewriter that had been driven over by a semi-trailer. It was all squished and covered in little rods and levers, there was even a little crystal poking out of it.The cry held it up before them and Amaryllis looked at the device. “You know, I can’t understand them, right?”“Uh, they’re not saying anything,” I said. “What is that?”“It is a communication device, to call and receive items stored elsewhere.”Like Amaryllis’ banking ring!The device started to click and clack as the buttons and levers upon it were pressed in and turned in quick succession. I felt the barest flicker of something before a coin appeared, then another and another. Soon, some two dozen golden coins were floating around the device before, with a snap, then all stacked together into two golden rods.“We hope this is sufficient remuneration for the journey. We are prepared to give the same amount once again upon our arrival.”I translated that for Amaryllis, and she nodded. “For a trip that’ll only take two days, that’s a very good payment, which leaves me very suspicious. What sort of trouble are you bringing with you?”“Amaryllis, just because they’re generous doesn’t mean that they have any sort of ulterior motives,” I said.“We must admit to some ulterior motives,” the cry said.My mouth shut with a clack of teeth. Oh.“What is it?” I asked.“The one we wish to bring with us is young, a shard not yet made whole, and one that will never reach oneness. They are a shard of growth.”I translated that as best I could. “Do you know what that means?” I asked.Amaryllis shook her head. “It doesn’t mean anything to me,” she said.“Forgive us, we forget that not all know as much about us as we do. It is sufficient to know that this young shard represents what some would consider a danger in our society. They should have been broken, according to our laws, but we and some others do not see things that way. The simplest, and best, solution would be to merely move them to a new home. The Lonely Island is a place where we have brought other similar shards.”I didn’t understand entirely. The other cry they wanted to get was somehow dangerous, and had to be brought elsewhere for... their own protection? Or maybe it was to protect the rest of the cry? “Are they going to be trouble on the trip over?” I asked.The cry shifted from side to side. “They are young, and perhaps inquisitive, but troublesome they are not.”I looked at Amaryllis, then back to Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole. “Okay,” I said. “Are you going to bring them over? You can pay us after you’ve returned.”The cry started to bob, then aborted the gesture. “We... would appreciate some assistance. The little shard cannot yet fly of their own accord, and we are trying to avoid the notice of other cry within this city.”“You’re not exactly hard to notice,” Amaryllis said once I translated.“Forgive us, we may have miscommunicated. We, ourselves, are under no danger. It would be wrong, and distasteful, for another cry to attack a whole member of our society. It would simply not occur. We are under no danger. The shard is offered no such protections.”“I’ll go with you then,” I said.“Alone?” Amaryllis asked.I shrugged. “I guess?”She shook her head. “You idiot, you’re inviting trouble. I’ll get Bastion. Awen is still fixing things in the engine room and I’m too busy to be running around and carrying things. That’s grunt work.”“But I’m not too busy for that?” I asked.“No,” she said before walking off and heading towards Bastion, who was practicing at the rear of the ship.Soon enough, the sylph was joining us on the pier while Amaryllis took our gold and went down to stash it.“So,” Bastion said as he adjusted his belt. He didn’t have his full suit of armour on, just the padded jerkin he wore underneath and his big metal-shod boots with his pants tucked in. “I hear that I’m needed?”“Your assistance would be welcome, soft one,” our new cry buddy said.I translated again, and Bastion nodded. “It would be my pleasure,” he said before gesturing ahead. “Please, lead the way.”We started to follow the cry as they floated ahead of us. It seemed like the best speed they could manage wasn’t much faster than a brisk walk, which was fine; it gave me more time to think of a cool nickname.Their name as an acronym was... SWCTSOW. SaWaCTaSOW? No, that was too strange, and besides, who was I to decide on someone’s vowels. Maybe just Compassion then? Or Crystal. That was a real name. Well, so was their name, of course. Blue? On account of their colour?If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.Coming up with a good nickname was hard.“So, Miss Bunch,” Bastion said.“You know, you could just call me Broccoli,” I said. “Or Broc. We’re friends, no need to be all formal and such.”“Of course. It’s a difficult habit to break,” he said.I bumped his shoulder with mine. It was a little strange; Bastion was an adult, and a boy, but he was still a bunch shorter than me. “That’s okay. It’s never wrong to be polite. But not having to be as polite with friends is one of the fun things about having friends,” I said.“I suppose,” Bastion said. “By the way, I’m impressed that you speak cry. I know that Syphfree has had diplomats who could understand it before, but they required a very specific combination of skills to do so. More to be able to communicate back.”“Oh,” I said. “It’s a riftwalker thing, I think.”Bastion sighed. “Yes, of course it is.”“Wait, did I never tell you?” I... couldn’t remember telling him. I was an awful friend.“No, you didn’t. But I’m not entirely ignorant. If anything it gives credence to your having received a quest from the World.”“Oh, cool,” I said.“Do try to avoid spreading that around; it’s the sort of thing that’s best kept to oneself.”I nodded. I could totally keep a secret.Our nickname-less cry friend led us out of the docks and down a wide stairwell and onto what looked like it might be one of the city’s main roads. It was wider than the others we’d been on, and had a glass ceiling over parts of it, allowing natural light to brighten the place up.We kept walking-and in their case floating— for a while until we turned down a second staircase and found ourselves on a much narrower road.“We reserved a room at this inn,” they said as they floated into the courtyard of a small inn. A sign was bolted to one wall, a bit of rust leaking off of it staining the paint below. ‘The Walled Inn. Cheap Beds, Cheaper Meals.’“A quality establishment,” Bastion deadpanned.“We do not require food for sustenance, nor do we have much need for space,” the cry explained.I translated absently while looking around. It did look a little tacky and cheap. “Which room is yours?”The cry, instead of answering, hovered over to one door and pulled their little gadget out of their pouch again. Soon they summoned a key which unlocked the door. “We will need to cover the shard with cloth, to keep them hidden,” they said as they entered. “It is Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole. We have found some soft ones willing to carry us to our final destination.”I stepped in after them while Bastion took up a position next to the door.The interior of the room was a bit cramped. There was a bed tucked in the corner, with a night stand next to it. No windows on the walls, but one on the ceiling, strangely enough. It did illuminate the room, but I wasn’t sure if that was for the best. It was the dingiest, dirtiest inn room I’d ever seen. I was sure any of the innkeepers I’d befriended would have had a fit at seeing the peeling wallpaper and broken furniture.The cry took up a good portion of the room’s space, and it wasn’t until they shifted to the side that I saw our second passenger.They were a cry too, of course, but unlike the bigger, bulkier one I’d met, they were slim and jagged, their body curved around in a sort of half-moon shape. “Little shard, this is the soft one with which we will travel.”“Hello!” I said.The littler cry floated a bit closer, then started to tip over to one side, as if they were top heavy. “Hello,” they replied, their voice a high pitched chime. “I— we are a Shard of Mountaintopper’s Growth, Fourth Shard, and not Yet Whole.”“I’m Broccoli Bunch!” I said. “I guess I’m my mom and dad’s shard? Uh, is that how it works?”The shard made a tinkling sound, like crystal cups being shaken together. Laughter? “I don’t think it’s how it works for soft ones.”“It’s nice to meet you. Ah, it’s going to become hard to talk to both of you if you don’t have shorter names. No offence?”“We understand,” the larger cry said. “Soft one names are difficult for us as well. They are often meaningless. And when they do have meaning, such as your name, vegetable pile, it is often a meaning that puzzles more than enlightens.”I held back a giggle and nodded. “I get it. So do you have nicknames? I could call you Blue, and this cutie I could call... Moonie? Because you look like a moon!”The newly named Blue bobbed. “We accept this temporary name with the gravity it was given.”“Moon-Shaped is an acceptable name,” Moonie said.“Do cry do hugs?” I asked.“Broc,” Bastion barked, his voice tense. “I think we have trouble.”I spun and rushed to the door to look out. It didn’t take much looking to see what Bastion was talking about. A pair of cry, both about as big as Blue, though one was far more jagged and sharp-looking. They were hovering closer to us, a deep bell-toll sound coming from them that didn’t quite mean anything but still made me think of the hum of a wasp’s wings.“Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole, we are aware that you are within this building. Surrender the broken,” One of them chimed.I reached out, grabbed Bastion, and yanked him in before snapping the door shut. “Okay! Time to leave, I think.”“I will confront them,” Blue said. “No harm will befall me. Escape with the Brok— with the Moon-Shaped one.”“Ah, right. Are there other doors around?”Bastion pointed to the window in the ceiling.“Well then,” I said. “Let’s make a big escape!”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Two — Befriend Them with Lasers
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Two — Befriend Them with Lasers
“Can we expect them to be violent?” Bastion asked.“We suspect they will not stop themselves from acting violently against the little shard. They may even extend that violence to you, though they should refrain from killing you. The Crying Mountains have an amicable relationship with Wallwatch; we would not want to disrupt that over an internal matter.”I translated that for Bastion even as I ran over to the bed and tugged the sheet off the top. It was a bit raggedy, but not that bad. A big red blanket made of woven cloth. “Moonie, I’m going to cover you in this. Maybe if we’re lucky, they won’t notice that we’re carrying you.”Moonie bobbed up and down. “That seems amusing.”I grinned as I tossed the covers up and over the cry, then pulled them snug around them. It didn’t take long to tie it all up in a bow around Moonie’s side.“Good thinking,” Bastion said. “Mister... Blue, perhaps you should leave as soon as we’ve left. I’ll give you a signal. Try to keep them occupied for at least half a minute, that should be enough for us to get a good lead.”“We understand,” the larger cry said. They hovered over to the door, while Bastion beat his wings and climbed closer to the ceiling.“You might want to leave some silver behind, for the window,” Bastion said.“Huh, why?” I asked.“Close your eyes,” Bastion ordered.I ducked my head and squeezed my eyes shut a moment before the window above exploded and sheets of glass rained down onto the floor. A few pieces thumped against my captain’s hat and my ears, but I flicked them away with a twitch.“Let’s go!” Bastion called. He had his sword half unsheathed. I suspect he’d used the pommel to break the glass.I nodded, hugged Moonie close, then jumped up and out of the top.“Mister Blue, go!” Bastion said a moment before he flipped out of the room. The Walled Inn’s roof was all tin with windows cut into it for every room. I saw some flickering candle light from a few of them. They didn’t all get sunlight, not with another set of homes right above the inn.I glanced up at the huge iron struts keeping the floor above in place. “Which way?” I asked.Then something hummed behind me and I half-turned to see one of the cry floating up. It glowed, and before I could process, a scarlet laser fired out of it and right at me.It met a crystalline wall that snapped into existence right in front of me. It was like a huge, spiky snowflake that bounced the laser off and allowed it to cut a slice into the inn room some metres away.I gasped. That had been close. I could recall using Cleaning magic to kinda dissipate a laser before, in that Glass Dungeon, but this laser was faster... somehow, and I wasn’t expecting it at all.“We are afraid that we cannot allow you to harm the broken shard, nor the soft ones,” came Blue’s crystalline voice.“Let’s go!” Bastion said.The sylph took off, heading not in the direction of the docks, but right towards the huge wall.I eyed a few beams holding up the homes and structure above, then leapt out after him. “Bastion, the Beaver’s that way!” I said with a nod to the west end of the city.“We need to lose them first,” he said.Was it that bad?I jumped, aiming for the roof of what looked like a shop. I never made it since Bastion rammed me out of the air.I eeped, then gasped as a laser zipped by so close I felt my tail warming up. I pushed my cleaning aura out, hoping that it would at least dampen the attacks a little the next time they came so close.We fell down a level, narrowly avoiding a catwalk before crashing onto a busy road, right in front of a bunch of people who gasped and squawked at our landing before them.I rolled to my feet, ignoring the bit of discomfort from the rough landing. “You okay, Moonie?”“Yes!”“Come on!” Bastion said.I patted down my skirt with one hand, hugged Moonie closer to my side, then followed after Bastion as he cut into the crowd.It wasn’t really much of a crowd, which was unfortunate because I saw one of the cry flying closer, with a dozen snowflake disks around its middle that were glowing and sparking. It spotted us running a floor below, and dropped down to be on our level.“Duck!” I called out before a pair of reddish beams snapped out and burned some holes into the wooden walls of the buildings behind us.Most of the people on the street never even noticed, but some did, and they started to scream and run away, which got everyone else moving too.“Up!” Bastion said. He pointed to some carts ahead with little tin roofs over them. They were selling bolts of cloth and some tools and all sorts of knick-knacks.I jumped after him, running across the top of the carts, then Bastion leapt onto the roof of a nearby shop and I followed after him. The cry swooped down after us, but Bastion dropped down the opposite side of the roof and I followed him before I could get lasered.There wasn’t much of a road here, just a narrow catwalk, a grated floor and some wooden rails overlooking the next couple of levels down the city.“Faster,” Bastion said.I took a few big gulps of air. I was in better shape than I’d ever been before, but this was still a lot of excitement for me.Bastion pointed up a level once we were behind a fairly tall building. “That strut, then up there,” he said.I squinted up, and saw the strut he was talking about. A big metal X that repeated over and over down the length of the city. Above that was another road, with a much nicer rail around it.Bastion took off and flew straight up, sword coming out of his sheath.I hopped up onto the rail, bunched my legs under me with a hefty chunk of stamina, then shot up to the strut above.My shoe gripped onto the edge of the beam and I immediately launched myself up a level.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.A glance back revealed Bastion flying in a quick loop around a reddish beam sent his way by the cry. Then he sliced a laser beam apart with a swipe of his sword.I blinked.That... wasn’t possible, was it?“Go! I’ll catch up!” Bastion said.I nodded and took off running.The big advantage of Wallwatch was that there was always an easy way to know which direction was which. The huge wall was kind of impossible to miss, and it was more or less to the north of the city.“Are you okay?” I asked Moonie as I ran ahead.“Yes! This is exciting, if a little dark.”“Oh right, sorry,” I said. I tugged at the blanket, at least until I uncovered the top of Moonie’s... body. “Uh, where are your eyes?”“Cry have no eyes.”“Okay then,” I said. “Can you see now?”“Yes.”That was good enough for me. I could ask a whole bunch of questions once we were safer. I found a stairwell and then raced up to the top until we broke out onto the topmost floor of Wallwatch. “There!” I said as I saw the Beaver sitting pretty in the docks; the ship’s bright blue balloon was impossible to miss.I skipped from roof to roof, then leapt down onto the wooden pier and landed with a heavy thump next to some sailors who recoiled in surprise. I called out my apologies as I sprinted for the Beaver.Amaryllis saw me coming, and looked terribly unamused as I jumped up and landed in the middle of the port deck. “Now what?” she asked.“We...” I took a moment to gulp in some air. “We need to run, a little. Fast?”Amaryllis rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “The World hates me,” she said. “Awen!”Awen’s head popped out of the hole at the back of the other deck. She had grease stains on her nose and looked a bit confused. “Yes?” she called back.“Get everything ready! We’re heading out! Clive! Get everyone in position; we’re leaving right away. Broccoli, where’s Bastion?”“Uh,” I said.Looking up, I noticed a few red flashes in the air, and if I squinted I could make out Bastion weaving and diving in the air while a cry followed him, firing lasers that Bastion kept dancing around.“Right there,” I said as I pointed.“Oh, for the love of... put whatever that is away then get to helping. You’re the captain, you should be acting like it!”“Yes, ma’am!” I said before darting to the back of the ship. “Hey, Moonie, I’m going to put you in my room for a bit. There’s a nice view out the window. Uh, try not to get into too much trouble, alright?”“Understood,” the cry said as I practically stumbled my way down to the lower deck and squeezed past two of the Scallywags who were moving up.“Trouble above!” I said. “All hands on deck!”I stuffed Moonie in my room. It was a little rude not to give the cry the full tour, but there wasn’t any time for all that.“I’ll be back once things quiet down,” I said.Moonie bobbed up and down, which served to get that blanket to drop. “Thank you.”I grinned, then clicked the door shut before racing back out onto the main deck. Everyone was running around, unmooring the Beaver and prepping him to take off. I saw Steve struggling with one of the ropes and rushed over to help.The Beaver’s engine roared to life, and I saw Clive pulling on a few levers to keep us steady as we undid the last of the ropes holding us in place.“We’re free!” Gordon called.A building nearby exploded, and we all glanced over in time to see Bastion flying out of the fire on a direct path for the Beaver. He landed on the deck, boots skidding across the wood until he came to a full stop and panted. “We should go,” he said, calmly.“Clive! Full reverse! Get us some height!” I didn’t know how high the cry could fly. Hopefully not as high as the wall, but I sorta doubted that.“Aye, aye!” Clive called a moment before we started to pull out of our mooring.“I’m going to go prepare the ballistae!” Awen said before she darted away.I blinked after her, but decided we had bigger concerns.Bastion swiped his sword along the length of his sleeve to clean it, then slid it back into its sheath. He looked uninjured, though his pant-legs were a bit singed here and there from what had to be near-misses. “That was some good practice,” he said.“I hope the rest of us don’t need to practice that much,” I said.The cry that had been after Bastion appeared by the docks, but we were already backing out pretty quickly, and there was a good hundred or so metres between us. Surely they wouldn’t...I ducked as a red beam flashed out and cut a black line against the side of the Beaver’s hull. “Oh, shoot!”Lasers didn’t have a range.“Amaryllis! Can you do magic to protect us?” I asked.She eyed the cry, then grinned. “Sure,” she said.I had a bad feeling in my tummy a moment before she pulled her knife-wand out and pointed it ahead.I wanted a shield. Instead Amaryllis fired a thick bolt of lightning that snapped out with a boom so loud and strong my ears flipped back and I was pretty sure she gave the Beaver a bit of a speed boost.“Amy!”“It’s proactive protection!” she said.The dust around the dock cleared, revealing another crystalline snowflake shield. It dropped, and a red beam snapped out and punched a fist-sized hole into our balloon.“Oh no,” I said. “Steve, Gordon! Get to that. Clive, more speed! Amaryllis, be a bit more proactive!”Amaryllis cackled.“But-but not too proactive!” I said.The Beaver tipped backwards, rear pointing towards the ground a moment before the engine burped, stopped, then sent the propeller spinning in the other direction.Amaryllis leaned off the side and flung magic back at the docks, enough to keep the cry busy shielding itself.I couldn’t help but laugh as we took off and shot into the sky as fast as our little ship could manage. Not the ideal start to an adventure, but certainly an exciting one!
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Three — Warning: Rocket Launch Detected
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Three — Warning: Rocket Launch Detected The Beaver Cleaver leapt over the Grey Wall, all sails out to full and engine roaring to help us defy gravity just a bit faster.I clung onto my captain’s hat and stood with my legs spread out for maximum balance. The entire ship was aimed skyward, so that we’d gain as much altitude as we could. We’d made an escape. And in doing so, had left Blue behind. I felt a little bad about that, but I think the cry would have been happy with us getting their charge out of the clutches of those other cry.They could fly too, so it wasn’t impossible that they’d be able to catch up, or at least meet up with Moonie on the Lonely island.“Captain, he’s starting to struggle,” Clive said, cutting through my introspection.“Struggle how?” I returned.“Not enough thrust to keep it at this sort of pitch,” was the quick reply.I nodded. “Level us off!” I said before I jumped to help. With Steve and Gordon both hanging onto the balloon to patch it up, that left our crew two bodies short for doing things like adjusting the sails.We tilted a bit to one side as the sails on the opposite side were adjusted first, but soon the Beaver was returning to an even flight across the skies. It was pretty cloudy at our altitude, with big puffy balls of white cotton floating past us. That was great; it would make it harder for anyone to track us, though the engine did leave a faint black trail in the sky behind us.Maybe I could spray some Cleaning magic on the exhaust to mask our trail?“Captain, permission to slow us down? I don’t want to tax the engine,” Clive asked.“Granted!”We slowed down, and the wind didn't tug at us quite so much and it became a lot easier to move about. I saw Steve and Gordon climb down the front of the balloon, then rush across the ship to get to the opposite end, where the exit hole still needed patching.“Hey, Clive?” I asked as I got closer to the harpy. “Are those two holes going to be a problem?”I couldn’t entirely see the patch the two harpy crewmates had made, but it looked pretty good to my untrained eye. A green square about two handspans wide that clashed a bit with the bright blue of our balloon.“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Clive said. “We have some compressed gas in the hold to replace what was lost.”“The holes are patched!” someone squeaked. I turned and blinked up at Steve who was giving us a wave. “We shouldn’t be losing any more!” he squealed.I smacked a hand over my mouth. “Do... do we use helium in that balloon?” I asked.“Yes,” Clive said. “It’s the safest gas to use for airships. Cheap too, if you know a good alchemist.”“Oh, cool!” I said.“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “Do you hear that?”I titled my head to the side, bun ears twitching this way and that to better make out any noise. It didn’t take much to hear what Amaryllis was talking about. A sort of hissing roar, like a gas burner that was lit one room over. It came from somewhere behind us, in the direction of the Grey Wall.I ran to the Beaver’s side and leaned over the rails, one hand holding my captain’s hat in place so that it wouldn’t get whipped away by the wind.My eyes narrowed, searching the clouds for whatever was making that noise. The wall was already quite a ways behind us, though it still loomed huge, hiding the horizon behind its bulk. The lowest of the clouds hovered just below the top of the wall. That’s where I saw the first glimpse of whatever was following us.It was a plane.Not like any plane I’d seen back on Earth, not unless Da Vinci sketches counted.The machine looked like it was made of wood and cloth, with big, bat-like wings swept back around a light frame that had a pair of rockets strapped to it. I could make out the bright blue of a cry strapped into the middle of it.A plume of thick black smoke poured out of the back, providing the plane with plenty of thrust.“Uh oh,” I said. “Clive! Full speed ahead! Everyone, get ready to fight! They have a plane!”The hissing roar grew clearer, and I turned back to see three dark shapes swooping over the wall and through the clouds to join the first. They were gaining on us, but we still had a minute or two... I hoped.“Are those rocket planes?” Amaryllis asked, disbelief colouring her voice. “Are they insane?”“Maybe it’s safer for them?” I asked. “Or they don’t care. They can already fly. Why are they using the planes?”“Speed,” Bastion said as he came to stand in the middle of the deck. “Their flight speed seems limited. I think any fit sylph could run circles around them. Even a harpy could outpace them by gliding.”Amaryllis harrumphed. “Yes, well, they are slow, but they have lift, and they seem steadier than some hair-brained sylph zipping around.”“Steady isn’t fast enough to catch up to a ship like the Beaver,” Bastion said.“So they get awesome rocket planes,” I finished the thought. “So cool!”Amaryllis whapped me with a wing. “No, you idiot, now they get terrifying rocket planes and the ability to catch up with us. They’ve already poked a hole in our balloon. That means the bladders inside it will all need to be patched once we’re not running for our lives. A few dozen more and we might be in actual trouble.”I winced. I could gush over the coolness of the rocket planes later. “Right, you’re right. I think we might have to fight them off. Amaryllis, you’re good with ranged things, but you’re just the one harpy. Awen... wait, where’s Awen?”Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.Something clunked, and we all turned to stare as part of the Beaver’s deck rose, then shifted to the side on a set of rails.A dome, made of dozens of square glass panels, lifted up out of the hold with a constant click-click, like a bicycle’s wheel being spun. The machine rose some more, revealing Awen sitting on a little bench, legs pumping around a pedal while she huffed and puffed.The front of the machine had four openings with long stalks sticking out of them, each with a set of curved metal plates and what looked like wire under heavy tension.It was like Awen’s repeating crossbow, but... bigger, and there were four of them all linked together to a complicated set of controls.The whole thing stopped with a heavy thump, then locked in place as Awen pulled a few levers. She started to spin a wheel, and with each turn the machine spun around a few degrees until it was pointing all four of its bows off the side.“Whoa,” I said.It looked like one of those turrets stuck on the back of those World War two bombers, only a bit more anachronistic.“That’s really cool!” I cheered as I leapt over the divide between the Beaver’s two hulls and landed next to Awen’s contraption. “How does it work?” I asked Awen.She wiped the back of her hand across her brow. “Poorly.” She blinked. “Ah! I mean, this is just the prototype! I wanted a version that could slide out of the side of the Beaver. This one has awful traversing, and it turns too slowly. I haven’t even zeroed in the bows yet, and it takes a lot of concentration to reload one of them while firing the others. It’s all really inefficient.”“But it looks so cool!” I cheered. There were brass doodads, and metal knobs, and little gears and all sorts of pulleys, the entire thing covered in layers of glass. A wire at the front was bent into a circle, holding a piece of glass that had an ‘X’ cut into it.Awen flushed. “It’s just a prototype!” She wiggled her hands around, gesturing to the bows and the levers next to them. “The bows have a draw weight of around a hundred kilos, which is good because they fire these.” She tugged a long bolt from a rack and displayed it for me.It was entirely made of glass, with a bulb at the end that looked like it was filled with something. It took some squinting to notice the mechanism at the very end of the bolt. “What’s that?”“It’s a flint striker. The bulb is filled with fuel. It’s the only thing I had on hand that explodes well. But the bolts are heavy, which means I need the entire lever system to reduce the amount of strength I need to reload the bows.”“Awen, did you make an explosive, repeating AA ballista without anyone knowing?” I asked.She looked away, cheeks still burning. “No one asked.”“Awen, you are awesome.”I felt Amaryllis crowd in next to me to inspect Awen’s machine. “That looks like something I’d see in a report with the word ‘disaster’ in its title,” she said. “Well, as long as the disaster is on the side of the things bothering us.”“Does it have a non-lethal setting?” I asked.Awen and Amaryllis stared at me.“Uh, nevermind.”“Captain! They’re gaining on us,” Clive called back.I ran up the steps at the rear of the ship so that I could see out over the back. The three planes were getting much closer. I could even make out the bright blue of the crystals tucked into the middle of the frames.They were still a little ways away, but that wouldn’t last.I bit my lower lip and considered things. They were faster than us on the straight-away, but they were planes, they’d need to turn and circle around a bunch.“Clive, evasive maneuvers! Everyone else, get ready to fight!”“Awa! I have my crossbow in the hold,” Awen said.Bastion nodded and dove down, returning a moment later with Awen’s crossbow. That made two crewmates with ranged options, not including Amaryllis and myself with our magic.“I’m going to try and create a barrier with Cleaning magic,” I said as I jumped back down. “But I don’t expect it to work that well.”“Don’t worry, we’ll make the fool regret tangling with us,” Amaryllis said.“Hang on!” Clive called out a moment before throwing the wheel around and tugging a few of the control levers back. I felt it when the gravity engine shifted down and weakened its field.The Beaver shifted to the side and started to swing around with the slow ponderous motions of a whale turning in the ocean.The planes came into view over the starboard side, the three in a loose arrowhead formation.Awen’s turret spun, then locked into place. I saw her grin as she aimed down her sights.The turret fired. Four shots with a quick tack tack tack tack, beat, and as many shiny blurs zipped out towards the planes.It was clear right away that Awen had undershot by a bit; maybe she’d underestimated the weight of her bolts since they flew well under the planes.And then two of them exploded out some three hundred metres away, bright bursts of fire that filled the air with a sprinkling of glass.“Reloading!” Awen screamed as she started tugging on levers.I snapped out of it, then started to push as much Cleaning magic as I could out. If I could interfere with the magic creating the lasers, maybe I could save us some repairs later.This was turning out to be a lot more exciting than I thought it would be. Who knew accepting a passenger could be so much work?
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Four — Ack-Ack
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Four — Ack-Ack The four planes formed up into a line before shooting over the Beaver. As each one approached, they’d glow a little brighter, then a beam of reddish light would strike out at the Beaver.My Cleaning magic didn’t seem to do anything to slow them down. Each one cut across the deck and some of the balloon, darkening the wood on the deck, fraying and cutting ropes, and tearing gashes into the outermost layer of our balloon.Individually, the lasers seemed underpowered. They were able to burn the wood and paint a bit, but it wasn’t a strong attack, not when the planes were zipping by super fast and didn’t have time to concentrate their attacks.The first four hits still did some damage though.“Steve, Gordon, Scallywags, priority on the balloon and the ropes!” I called. “We can’t afford to lose too much more gas.”The crew rushed across the deck, boots thumping and equipment being pulled all over to fix things in a hurry. It didn’t look like it would take more than a dozen minutes to patch everything up, but that had been one volley from the four planes, and from the hissing roar of their rocket engines, I knew they were coming back around for another pass.“Get ready to fire back!” I said.I started to prepare some fireballs. They’d likely miss, being too slow and such, but I could scatter them around and maybe I’d get lucky.My Cleaning magic would be a lot faster though, and I was pretty sure I could make those attacks seek out some of the planes a little.The problem was, even if Cleaning spells hit, I doubted they’d do much to a plane, not unless they were held together with bubblegum and trash.“Two are going round the front, two are coming from the rear,” Bastion said. “We should focus our fire, take them out by the numbers.”Bastion, Amaryllis and I rushed to the front.Orange was sitting upright on one of the figureheads, glaring her little kitty heart out at the mean cry planes that had dared interrupt her naptime.I stared out ahead. It wasn’t hard to make out the two planes curving up and around, the two long trails of brackish smoke behind them making it hard to miss where they’d gone.“Amaryllis, your magic’s the fastest here,” Bastion said.“Oh, it would be my pleasure,” Amaryllis practically purred. She pointed her dagger-wand ahead and a bit over where the lead plane was.I winced back as Amaryllis’ magic shot ahead with a whip-crack boom, a searing slice of jagged lightning forking out towards the plane and crashing into it.The plane wobbled, then one of its wings came apart with a splintering crack a moment before it was sent spinning out of the sky.I felt pretty bad. The poor pilot had to be terrified.But then the plane broke apart, and the cry that was aboard it came to a hovering halt some few hundred metres down.“That’s one,” Amaryllis said quite smugly. She aimed at the next and fired another bolt of lightning.It rammed into a shield, a magical barrier shaped like a gigantic snowflake that hovered before the plane.Amaryllis squawked. “That’s cheating!”Bastion chuckled. “Hardly. It’s adapting intelligently.” He brought Awen’s crossbow up and sighted down the length of it. “We’ll have to see if it does anything to stop physical blows.”I nodded. “How do magic shields work?” I asked Amaryllis.“It depends entirely on the shield,” Amaryllis said. “What kind of mana-aspect is used, how the shield was crafted, and a whole host of other things.”Bastion fired, the bolt leaping out of the bow with a heavy twang.We followed its arc across the sky to where it smacked against the shield and burst apart into so many splinters.“So much for that,” I said.The plane shot past, not even firing as it moved by.Then the other two swooped around, lasers trailing across the length of the Beaver’s hull.Wincing, I looked over the edge and took in the smoking burns they’d left behind. Not enough to start a fire, but I was afraid that if they slowed down and aimed a little better, they might just light the ship on fire, and that would be terrible.The planes split apart, one going right, the other left.Awen’s turret thumped, glass bolts zipping through the air and bursting apart behind one of the planes.Amaryllis fired a bolt after the one that had gone left, but the lightning sliced past the plane, forking out of its way. “Damn,” she muttered.The next shot was intercepted by a shield.I ran back a little, attention on the right-most plane that Awen was still firing at. She had one hand turning a wheel that was making her turret traverse around while her feet worked some levers that reloaded her bows. Then she fired again, four more bolts, one after the other.I shaded my eyes from the sun as I traced the trajectory of her shots. “A bit more forward!” I called out. “And higher.”“Right!” Awen shouted back.She spun her traverse wheel faster, even as the plane started to turn back towards us.Her bows tilted up with a series of mechanical clicks, then she racked the strings back with one press of her leg and loaded fresh bolts onto the rails with a tug at a lever. “Firing!”Her turret wobbled back as she fired, four bolts again, one after the other. The first missed, the second passed so close to the plane I was sure it would hit, the third punched a little hole in a wing but kept on going.The fourth thumped into the wooden beam holding one wing in place.And then it exploded.The plane tumbled apart, wings and wood flung across the sky, the biggest chunk breaking and rolling past us before it exploded a second time.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.The ball of fire rocked the Beaver and sent a few of us crashing onto our bums.I jumped back to my feet, then raised both arms in a cheer. “Well done, Awen!” I said.“T-thank you,“ Awen said as she adjusted herself on her seat. “Where are the other two?”I had to look around for a bit before I could spot the final planes. One was circling around us, quite a ways away, a small snowflake shield hovering between it and us. The other was flying towards us from above, engine roaring and a set of four shields hovering around it.“Above!” I said.I started to form some fireballs, but realized I’d never have time to make a bunch of them before the plane passed, so I launched what I had, then jumped aside as a red beam sliced across the deck where I was.The fireballs I’d fired all went wide or splashed uselessly against the plane’s shields.Awen turned her turret around as quickly as it would go. “It’s too far ahead!”“Clive!” I shouted as I got back to my feet. “Hard to starboard!”“Aye aye!”The Beaver tilted to the side as Clive threw the wheel around. Some of the tools the crew were using to cut and fix up bits of balloon tarp flew off the edge with a clatter, and I had to stumble to the rails and hang on until we evened out.“There!” Amaryllis screamed.Lightning flashed out, first one crack, then another. They rammed into the shields around the plane, making it glow and spark, but never taking it down.“More!” Bastion called out as he levelled Awen’s bow and fired. The bolt didn’t do much to help.Then Awen fired. Her first two shots hit the shield, one after the other, each exploding and sending a wave of fire burning around the plane. The next two went a little wide, but still exploded just past the shield.The plane nosed up and turned, getting out of our range for a moment before its shields lowered to reveal tattered wings and an engine that was on fire. Or at least, more on fire than usual.“We hit it?” I asked.“Had to be some of the shrapnel,” Amaryllis said.The second plane flew around and formed up next to it, both levelling off a little ways away. The path they were taking would be bringing them closer soon, if they continued to turn.I set my feet and raised both arms, then concentrated. Obviously, they had some sort of magic to fire lasers. I didn’t know if that was Light-aspect mana or something else, but if they could do beams of magic, there was no reason I couldn’t too!Pinching my tongue between my teeth, I brought my hands together before me, working hard to shape my Cleaning magic into a long, narrow form, then I fired it.It wasn’t so much a beam as a sort of glowing lance that darted out and completely missed both planes. Still, it got both of them to juke out of the way, and they both raised their shields.I narrowed my eyes, then glanced at my mana.Mana: 124/145“Amaryllis! What happens when things hit a shield? Does it use up mana?”“It does,” she said. “It depends on the sort of shield, but most that can move like that will be linked to the caster, and will use their mana to mitigate damage. What are you thinking?”“That I should go all out,” I said. “Clive! Hold him steady!”The planes both started to turn our way. Awen’s next volley flew out, but all four bolts missed, flying through where they would have been had they not started to turn.I created another lance of Cleaning magic, then another, then another, each one linked together by a thin filament of magic. They thrummed and hummed, glowing bars that were filled with gently swirling magic.I made three, then five, then seven, then ten. Sweat poured down my forehead and into my eyes as I reached twelve.Mana: 4/145That would have to do!I fired all of them at once, each imbued with my desire to wash away the enemy’s shields. They darted through the air, a dozen comets that glowed bright enough to brighten the midday sky.The planes tried to dodge, but I reached out and twisted and the rods of Cleaning goodness veered around and smashed into their hastily raised shields.I was hoping for a big explosion, or at least some sort of loud noise, but all I got were big, bun-sized holes torn into and through the shields.Then the shields cracked and burst apart, like glass being smashed by a wayward baseball.“F-fire!” I called out.I stumbled a bit, suddenly really tired, as if I’d just broken a fever, or run for a long time.Awen fired another volley, with Amaryllis and Bastion joining in.The planes turned, both of them diving down and around so that they were racing away from the Beaver even as Clive brought us around so that we were still facing them from the side.“Are you okay?” Amaryllis asked as she came closer. She placed the bit of her hand that wasn’t all talons on my forehead. “How much mana did you just use?”“All of it?”“You... moron,” she said. “Understandable, but moronic. Come on, sit down for a bit. You don’t need a fainting spell while we’re doing maneuvers.”“I have a bit left,” I said. “Four points!”“That’s not the problem! You don’t usually do big spells like that, it’s taxing. Stressful. I... really should sit you down and beat an education into that stubborn head of yours.”“But the planes?”“They’re running,” she said.I blinked and glanced over to see that she was right: both planes were rushing off, dark smoke trailing after them. “Oh,” I said. “We won!”“Yes, now we need to deal with the damage and hope it wasn’t too bad,” Amaryllis said. “And now you need to explain the reason for all this trouble.”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Five — Cross-cultural Xenopsychology 101
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Five — Cross-cultural Xenopsychology 101 “That was a rush,” I said.The two remaining planes were rocketing away, both of them just hazy blurs with trails of black smoke behind them now, though it looked like they were both running out of propellant. Maybe they would glide the rest of the way back? I hoped that they didn’t have any more planes like that. Or bigger, scarier things to fight us with.“That was certainly something,” Amaryllis agreed.A clunk sounded to the side, and I turned to see Awen extricating herself from the inside of her crossbow turret with just a bit of difficulty. It was a tight fit in there, after all, and it didn’t look like she had installed a proper door to get in and out yet.“Well done, Awen!” I cheered before enveloping her in a big celebratory hug.Awen laughed and returned the hug. “Thanks!”“This thing is so cool! And it’s just the prototype? Are you going to make it even cooler?”“Awa! It needs a lot of tweaking. I didn’t realize how many problems it had until I started using it. The sights aren’t good; the turning speed is really bad. I think some of the controls could be placed in better places. I should take notes before I forget, for the next iteration, I mean.”“It is an impressive contraption,” Amaryllis agreed. “If you improve it a fair bit, perhaps simplifying it some, I’m certain there would be a market for them. Merchant ships often have ballista emplacements that take up a lot of room. This seems more compact.”Awen nodded. “That’s what I was thinking too. The Beaver is very small. I’d like one of these to be able to deploy from both sides. Ideally. It might take up one of the bedrooms on the other side.”“We have two that are empty... one now that we have a passenger,” I said.“Speaking of which,” Amaryllis muttered.I nodded. Amaryllis had questions, and, well, so did I. But there were other things to look into first. The rush of victory was fading, and I was beginning to notice all the damage.It wasn’t too bad—I didn’t think. Some ropes cut, a few burns across the tarp of our balloon. The holes were already being patched up by Steve and Gordon, with the Scallywags working as a team to reconnect one of the lines.There were burns here and there, but most didn’t seem more than paint-deep. A bit of washing and a fresh coat of paint would fix the worst of it.“I need to talk to Clive, then I’ll join you below deck, okay?” I asked.“Take your time,” Amaryllis said. “I’ll be in the office. I think we might have gone a little off course. Not too much, mind, but I’d still like to chart everything properly, just in case.”“And I need to figure out how to get this back down,” Awen said. “I think I skipped off the rails; this is going to be annoying to fix.”“Let’s make sure the Beaver’s in tip-top shape before we worry too much about that,” I said.Awen nodded. “Right. I’m going to go look at the engine room, make sure that nothing is loose or on fire.” She waved us off as she jogged to the back and then into the aft section.I moved across to the other deck and hopped closer to Clive. “How’s it going?”“He’s holding up,” the old harpy said. “I’ve been in my share of engagements with pirates and some nasty flying beasties. This was far, far from the worst. Port sails aren’t deploying right. We’ve lost some buoyancy from escaped helium, and I think the rudder’s sticking a little.”“Is any of that critical?” I asked. The buoyancy bit sounded dangerous.“On their own, no. They’re all little things, the kind of problems that’ll pop up and need some maintenance. But it’s a lot to take care of all at once,” Clive said. “The boys are taking care of the balloon now. That’s the main thing. We can still turn and maneuver, and once the rigging is fixed on the port side, we should be fine. It’ll be jury-rigged for a while, but we’ll make it back to whichever port.”I sighed, some nerves leaving me in a gust. “Good. I was worried.”“Aye, don’t be, captain. I’ve flown on worse ships that had more troubles on them when they were fresh out of the skydock. This little ship’s a tough fella.”Grinning, I patted Clive’s back, then gestured to the rear. “I’ll be down below. We have someone to interview real quick. It shouldn’t be long. Just call if anyone spots another one of those planes.”“I’ll try to make good speed,” Clive said. “Get out of anything nasty’s range.”“Alright!” I called as I jogged across the deck, then went down a deck. The lower deck seemed completely fine. Though, the things in Awen’s room had been flung around a bit, and when I crossed Amaryllis’ I saw some of her stationery on the floor. My room was... empty?My spade had fallen over, and my bag had rolled across the floor. Obviously some of the manoeuvres we’d done had been a bit rough. That wasn’t a problem. The problem was the lack of a big floating crystal person. “Moonie?” I asked.“Broccoli, we’re here!” came Amaryllis’ voice from deeper in.I stepped out of my room and then continued down the main corridor, only stopping when I saw the door to one of the empty rooms left ajar.Amaryllis was sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at Moonie with a look that I might have called a glare if I didn’t know Amaryllis any better.“Hey,” I said.“I was just showing our passenger to their room,” she said. “And of course I had a few questions.”The cry shifted in the air so that they were facing us with their curved bits to the side. It was strange talking to a cry when they had no face or eyes to look at. “We don’t mind answering any question you might have. Though we don’t know everything,” Moonie chimed.“No one knows everything,” I said. “Even if Amaryllis sometimes acts like she does.”This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.My harpy friend squawked and sent the pillow on the guest bed flying towards my face. “I know that you’re an idiot,” she said. “That fact was plain enough to uncover.”I laughed and moved over to sit next to her. “Just teasing,” I said as I bumped shoulders with her. “So, Moonie, can you tell us why those cry were after you? And where they got planes?”The cry bobbed. “I am... defective. We... I... We wish to know what you know of the cry, as individuals.”I noticed Amaryllis staring at me, so I translated. How’d she manage to get Moonie here without understanding what the cry was saying in return?“Not very much,” I replied to Moonie’s question.“We see. The cry are not born, we are split from the form of a larger cry. I am Shard of Mountaintopper’s Growth, Fourth Shard, and not Yet Whole. I am a piece of a cry called Mountaintopper, who earned a name for themselves after several hundred years of existing. They too, were once a shard of another cry, and that cry, in turn, was the shard of another.”“Huh,” I said. “So, that’s different from how I know babies are made. No storks, for one.”“What?” Amaryllis whispered.“Yes?” Moonie chimed. “When we are split, we are given time to grow, to become an individual. We do not have a gestation period, but for a long time, we must relearn many things, things which we lose in the split.”“But the cry you split from doesn’t lose those things?” I asked.“Some, but most are prepared for the loss, information is segmented, and only some aspects are pushed into a new shard. Some of these are aspects which we no longer want. I am one of those. We are one of those. Forgive us for our impertinence.”“Impertinence?” I asked.“We... I refer to myself as I. Yet we are nameless. It is part of what being broken means. And it is why we are being chased by other shards. A broken shard like myself is not suffered to grow within the Crying Mountains.”“That’s awful,” I said. “What did you do that deserves that?”“We are too individualistic. We have too many memories from the shard that we split from. On occasion, a shard will break from a cry that has too much of the named one’s power. I am like that, I suppose. I remember thinking of myself as myself, as an individual as opposed to part of the whole. That is something reserved for those cry that have grown grand and powerful, and who have earned the right to individuality. I am not even healed from my own split.”“And so that’s why you’re being chased down,” Amaryllis said. “They want you dead.”“No, not necessarily dead. Merely broken more until I, we, lose our individuality. Some shards are against this. Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole is one of those.”“How can they be against it if they’re not, uh, an individual?”“Individuality and the ability to think for oneself is a fine line among the cry; one that grows blurry as a cry grows and begins to earn their way into our society.”I hummed. “So, I guess... are we still bringing you to the Lonely island?”“If you wish it; we would be grateful.”“The amount of gold we received will barely cover the repairs we had to do,” Amaryllis said.I gave her a look. “I don’t think the damage is that bad.”Amaryllis crossed her wings. “Well, I would have asked for more if I knew of the danger.”“We were not expecting the aircraft,” Moonie said.I nodded. “We weren’t either. Are planes common around here?”“No,” Amaryllis said. “I’ve seen some, but they are frequently disasters. Little room to transport anything, they require small but powerful engines. Need a dedicated pilot, not to mention a landing area that isn’t compatible with any modern port. I’ve seen some proposals for them as fighter craft, but I think today’s attack proved their inefficiency.”“Well, we have plenty where I’m from,” I said. “Not rocket powered ones though.”“Have you seen the size of the Beaver’s engine? Can you imagine something like that on a craft so small?” Amaryllis asked.“Uh,” I said. “I guess?” Turning to Moonie, I asked the question on the tip of my tongue. “Do the cry have lots of planes?”The crystal turned from side to side, a sort of headshake, if its entire body counted as a head. “When airships became common enough that we realized the Grey Wall would no longer be as effective as it once was at stopping armies, the Crying Mountains commissioned dozens of different sorts of craft. There are hundreds of aircraft stationed around the Crying Mountains to be deployed in case of an attack. Not that the great named ones couldn’t burn ships out of the sky.”“Scary,” I said. I could still vividly remember the giant crystals jutting out of the mountains on the other side of the Grey Wall. If those were actual cry, living, thinking people able to use skills, then... well, if their lasers were proportionally the same size as those from the small cry that had attacked in those planes, then they would be firing beams of magic as big around as the entire Beaver. That would suck to fight against.“The cry learned their lesson about invaders long ago,” Moonie said.“Right,” I replied. “So, we’re going to bring you to the Lonely Island. I don’t know if you’ll be happier there, but, well, it’s on the way, and that’s where you want to go, right?”Moonie bobbed. “It is. There are others like us there. I want to meet them, to make a new home for ourselves, myself.”“Alright! And maybe on the way there we can share some stories and have a bit of fun. I’ve never made friends with a genderless sentient crystal before, so there’s all sorts of new things to learn, I’ll bet.”“That sounds like it might be... amusing?” Moonie tried.“The word you’re looking for is traumatizing.”“Amaryllis!”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Six — LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS!
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Six — LISTEN UP, MAGGOTS! The sun was bright and it was only technically cloudy because a few big puffball clouds were decorating the skies. The air was nice and warm, but moving along at a brisk pace, so that no matter what, it was always perfectly comfy.It was, in short, the perfect weather for being outside.I was standing next to Amaryllis and Awen, the three of us wearing clothes that we didn’t care much about, just in case they got torn up or sweaty. In fact, I was wearing pants for the first time since coming to Dirt!Across from us, Bastion was standing at ease, a wooden pole held loosely by his side. “Alright, maggots!” he shouted, voice mean and growly. “Today I’m going to do my best to turn you sorry wastes of air into proper soldiers! If I do my job right, by the end of this afternoon, you will know which end of the sword to stick into your opponents-That’s if I can unscrew all the stupid from your thick plebian skulls!”I blinked, then raised a hand. “Um, Bastion... why are you being mean?”The sylph stared at me. “You wanted training?”“Well, yes, but I didn’t think that would mean you would be screaming rude things at us. I wanted training on how to fight, not on how to hold back from crying.”“Uh, well, that’s how my drill sergeants spoke,” he said.Amaryllis crossed her arms. “We’re hardly privates in the Sylphfree army. We are explorers who want to live a little longer.”Bastion cleared his throat. “Right, forgive me. In that case, I... suppose I can skip a few steps.”“Wait, there were multiple steps that involved screaming?” I asked.“Well, technically most of them. Usually you’d want to break a new soldier’s bad habits, then rebuild them up. It’s also good for team cohesion to work against a drill sergeant. At least, that’s the conventional knowledge.”“But you’re a friend,” I said.Bastion closed his eyes. “You... would be difficult to train, I think. Actually, you would be a nightmare to train. But, most of that is about functioning as a single unit, which this crew is surprisingly good at, despite the lack of training. I suppose we can do some drills to reinforce that, and perhaps a bit of one-on-one sparring, to sharpen what’s already there.”“That would be great!” I said.Bastion nodded. “Right, let’s start with the basics, the things that most will learn before learning how to spar.” He raised a hand, and with a snap of his fingers, formed a small, glowing ball over his palm.“Oh, magic!” I cheered. “I didn’t know you knew magic.”“I know a bit,” Bastion said. “It’s somewhat more advanced, but most well-trained soldiers will know at least a few spells. These are called the big seven, and you won’t find a single soldier that can’t cast them all. Not necessarily well, or quickly, but they should be able to cast them all.”“Oh, that’s probably more spells than I know, total.”Bastion made a so-so gesture. “I’ve seen you use two dozen cleaning magic spells. Cleaning balls, tracking projectiles, bolts, beams, and widely dispersed magic. Your fireballs have some versatility. Though, yes, you are correct that you’re not a magic-focused combatant, or a proper combatant at all, for that matter. That’s not a bad thing. Also, warriors tend to be stronger when they focus on stamina abilities. They drain slower and can last significantly longer in a prolonged battle.”Amaryllis nodded. “Mages, like myself, are very much about the alpha-strike. Hitting very hard in a single moment. That’s why I picked up a more versatile second class. Awen here has a strange magical class that’s a bit more of a middle-ground.”“Neat!” I said. “So, the big seven, what are they? Should we all learn them too?”Bastion hummed. “You should consider it. The first four are logistical spells. Soften Earth allows soldiers to dig trenches and encampments faster. Firestart allows you to start a fire, or heat up a pot if you can’t do that. Draw Water allows a soldier to resupply their water in the field. And the last is Clean Wounds, which is a difficult spell to master. Mostly, we’re happy when a soldier can keep a wound clean of infections until they can find a healer or field medic.”I nodded. “Cool!”“The other three are Magic Missile, Greater Fireball and Spar Ball. With Magic Missile, we never really cared about the aspect. Just a straight ball of fast-moving magic. A single soldier’s Magic Missile won’t do much, but a platoon of concentrated fire before a charge can soften a target up. Greater Fireball is technically an artillery spell; it’s slow to cast, mana-intensive, and unstable in the hands of someone without the right skills. Soldiers are taught to cast it mostly to use against fortified positions, and to keep using up mana.”“Keep using mana?” I repeated.“Mana is a resource. A soldier fighting without using any of their mana is one who isn’t contributing everything to the battle. Greater Fireballs also keep enemy mages busy when they’re coming from seemingly random directions.”“Uh, that’s kinda of scary,” I said.“War isn’t pleasant,” Bastion agreed. “The last of the big seven is a spell called Spar Ball. It’s actually quite easy to cast, and it’s the spell I want you all to know before we start sparring for real.” He closed his first and punched forward in my direction.My eyes went wide and my ears went ramrod straight as a ball of magic zipped forwards and crashed into my face, sending... a slight breeze across my cheeks and nose.“That’s Spar Ball, the least offensive spell. It actively does nothing, uses nearly no mana, and would be a waste of time were it not so easy to shape and use. It’s mostly used, as the name suggests, in spars as a substitute for Magic Missile or other offensive spells.”“Oh, neat!” I said.A few minutes later, I was finding things far less neat as I struggled to make a Spar Ball of my own. I sat on the deck, legs folded under me in a way I wouldn’t dare do in a skirt, and Amaryllis sat across from me, creating dozens of little magic balls that zipped around her with contemptuous ease.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.“Your problem is wiping the aspect from your magic,” Amaryllis explained while casually flicking Spar Balls into the sky. “You’re too attuned to Cleaning aspect. It’s limiting you a lot.”“That’s not cool,” I said. “I can do fireballs just fine.”“Fire isn’t far from Cleaning. Not too far, at least. You could probably manage Water and Holy aspects too, I’d guess. But the more you stray, the harder it’ll be for you. Most people’s natural attunement is really light.”“Light?”“No, light as in... little,” Amaryllis said. “The main theory is that the common mage’s natural mana aspect is nearly entirely random. Or maybe it isn’t and it’s merely difficult to pinpoint its origins. Mine was Wind, I believe, or something close to that, seeing as how there are hundreds of aspects; they tend to get lumped together.”“Lumped together, how?” I asked. I was managing to make Spar Balls—the spell wasn’t too complex—I was just having a hard time with it. Amaryllis’ lesson was a nice distraction though; I could listen to it with two ears while the others focused on the magic I was casting.“Well, someone might have Water aspect magic. But that’s not terribly precise, is it? What state is the aspect in? Water can be boiled, and Steam is an aspect. As is Ice, which is just frozen water. But Ice aspect often encompasses other liquids. In reality, it’s more likely that someone has an aspect that matches with a very specific state of something. It’s complex. Then the degree of attunement between people can be wildly different. It’s the topic of a lot of very inconclusive research. And I realize that I’ve gone on a tangent.”“It’s still cool to know,” I said.“It was definitely one of the more interesting subjects I studied. The point is that most people who become mages will become one with a type of magic they aren’t naturally attuned to. Their natural alignment will eventually shift to that of the mana they use daily.”“Oh,” I said. “But you feel very... sparky?”One of her eyebrows rose. “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment,” she said. “But yes, I’ve become better at it. I do have plenty of experience casting spells though, and a proper formal education in spellcraft.”I nodded, then smiled as I got one of the Spar Balls to circle around my hand, the little thing not very impressive looking, but it wasn’t meant to be.Magic was still really neat. Probably my favourite thing about Dirt, after all the friends I’d made.“Looks like you have the hang of it,” Bastion said. He glanced at the sun, then nodded. “Alright, let’s do a bit of sparring. Wooden weapons only. The goal will be for you three to learn how to take a fall and coordinate your attacks a little better.”“So we’re going to come up with combo attacks?” I asked. “Oh! And attack names?”“No, you’re going to try to fight me, all three of you. Only Spar-type spells,” Bastion said.“Us three against you?” Amaryllis asked. “How weak do you think we are?”“I don’t think you’re weak at all,” Bastion said. “Against the average civilian, you would do very well, all three of you. But I have seen you fighting before, and I know what you’re capable of.”“And yet you still think you can take all three of us?” Amaryllis asked.Bastion’s grin was small... but very smug.A few minutes later, I realized it was also well-deserved smugness.Bastion was fast. Very fast. No matter how we tried to hit him, tackle him, bonk him with wooden sticks and swords, or fling magic at him, the sylph was always dodging by the tiniest margin before rapping us on the shoulders with his wooden sword. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly rude, he’d trip one of us up.I stumbled forward as Bastion gently pushed my shin back, redirecting my weight to the side.Planting a foot down, I started to spin around, a Spar Ball forming as quickly as I could get it done in my off hand, where Bastion wouldn’t be able to see it.Then Bastion hip-checked me and my spell flew off and hit Awen in the face just as she tried to tackle Bastion.He grabbed her by the scruff of her shirt, then turned her so that her stumbling tackle moved right into the path of the flurry of spells Amaryllis was sending his way.Then he smacked Awen’s behind with the flat of his sword and she squeaked before crashing into Amaryllis.“Not bad,” he said. “Alright, up again.”“Uh, can we have a break?” I asked.“A break— it’s hardly been more than ten minutes... though... yes, I suppose a small break for water is due,” he said.I cheered, arms raising above my head and wobbling around like wet spaghetti noodles.“Alright, line up for squats,” he said.“Squats?” Amaryllis asked.“Are you unfamiliar with those?” Bastion asked.“As a way of taking a break, yes!” the harpy said.Bastion sighed. “We’ll go slowly; your heart-rate will decrease. And learning to fight while your muscles are burning is important.”I didn’t bother fighting it, I just got in line next to Awen and started to bend down, then stand up in time with her while Amaryllis grumbled and joined us. “This is undignified,” she muttered.“So is dying because you didn’t do enough cardio,” Bastion said. He actually joined us, though he had one leg pointing straight ahead, parallel with his arms, and was squatting down on the other. “I think now would be a wonderful time to talk about your small squad tactics. The positions you take, and your roles in any fights you might find yourselves in!”“Alright!” I cheered.“If you have energy to cheer, then maybe we can start sparring again?”“No, I’m not cheering!” I squeaked.Maybe this was a bit of a mistake.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Seven — People Come Here to Be Forgotten
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Seven — People Come Here to Be Forgotten The Lonely Island was... an island. Not a chain of islands or an archipelago, but a single large lump of an island. I couldn’t see all of it from our height, the island stretching too far to the north for all of it to be made out, but what I could see was fairly plain.The ground was all paleish yellow, likely some sort of sandstone if I had to guess, with little topsoil for grass and trees to grow in.It wasn’t entirely bare, there were some splotches of colour, especially on the western side of the island, but they weren’t all that big or bright.“It looks like a sad place,” I said as we started to come down.Bastion joined me by the front and eyed the island as we approached it. “It’s an interesting location, actually. Far enough from the shore that it’s basically impossible for any sylph to fly to it, and the winds around here are typically pretty rough. The ocean near the coast is often choppy, and there are frequent storms that blow past in the autumn.”“You know a lot about the place,” I said.“It was once used as a penal colony,” Bastion said. “On the other end of the island. There should still be some docks and such. Sylphfree stopped when we discovered that the cervid were doing the same.”“Wait, two nations were using it as a prison island?” I asked.“Yes, and neither realized it for decades. The cervid would toss their prisoners off near a beach on the south end, and we would drop ours off near the north. I imagine they met up somewhere in the middle, formed their own little community and such.”“That’s weird,” I said. “Did anyone try to escape?”“Oh, that’s almost a certainty,” Bastion said. “But there aren’t many resources here.”“Captain!” Clive called.I patted Bastion on the shoulder, then jogged over to Clive. Well, it wasn’t quite a jog. Jogging would require that I be able to move my legs properly. After the day before’s training, my legs were a wobbly mess, and every step hurt in new and interesting ways.Being on Dirt might mean that I healed faster than back home, but that didn’t mean nothing would hurt.“What’s up?” I asked Clive.“We’re slowing down nice and steady before we land,” the pilot said. “Question is, where do you want us touching down?”“Hmm.” I looked out ahead. The Lonely Island was surrounded by a reef, often with big chunks of stone poking out of the water like jagged teeth. I could only imagine there being even more stones just under the surface of the water, ready to scrape the hulls of any nautical ship. Not that that was a concern. “I can’t see any settlements,” I said.“Aye, none in sight. And none that I know of.”That didn’t mean that there were none. If there were people here, they had to be living somewhere. Where would I build my house if I was stuck on this kind of island?“I think we should circle around the west side, keep an eye out around the bits of wood there. If there is a place to live, they’ll want space to grow stuff. Assuming they ever found anything to grow.”“Folk find a way,” Clive said. “No matter where you go, and no matter how harsh, people will always find a way to root themselves in and make a living. Might not be a pretty or comfortable one, but folk will manage.”“Huh,” I said. “I guess so. I don’t think we’ll be spending much time here. Just a quick touch-and-go.”“Should we aim for civilization, then?” Clive asked.I rubbed at my chin, then reached up and straightened one of my ears. The right one had a tendency to bend over when I was thinking hard. “How about you keep up off the ground, and we’ll see if it’s worth landing.”Clive nodded. “We need a few days in dock to fix the balloon properly. Patches are all well and good, but they’re not meant to keep.”“Yeah, but something tells me there won’t be any airship docks here,” I said. “Let’s take it slow and steady. I don’t want to strain the Beaver any more than we need to.”With that said and done, I headed to the back, then down a level to the deck below.Awen was in the dining room, pouring over some papers with a frown on her face while Amaryllis sat next to one of the portholes on a chair that was usually tucked in the corner of her room, legs folded up and beak buried in a thick book.“Hey guys,” I said as I walked over. “Where’s Moonie?”“She... it, is still in its room,” Amaryllis said.“She?” I asked.The harpy shrugged without looking up. “The name is feminine. I suppose I’m not used to dealing with genderless beings.”I shrugged. “As long as Moonie doesn’t mind, I guess. Ah, speaking of Moonie, we’re over the Lonely Island, or near enough to over it.” I pointed out of the window over Amaryllis’ head. She leaned back and up to peek out, then nodded. “That does look like an island.”I huffed at her, one of her own ‘oh, come on’ sort of huffs. “You should be more excited! Bastion said that the island is filled with all sorts of prisoners and people like that! I bet it’ll be super exciting to visit.”“Ex— Broccoli, that makes me want to go down there less,” Amaryllis said. I noticed Awen nodding from the corner of my eye.“Awa, I think Amaryllis is right; that makes it scary, doesn’t it? Also, are we really going to bring Moonie there if there are mean people below?”“Prisoners are just potential friends who made a mistake,” I said. “And... I guess that is sending the wrong message, isn’t it? Moonie isn’t a convict, we shouldn’t be bringing them to a place that’s meant to be a prison. Or an ex-prison, I guess.”Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.“Forgive me.”I turned at the sound of Moonie’s voice from the corridor. The cry hovered closer, ducking down just enough to avoid the doorframe. “I overheard you speaking. The walls aboard this ship are a little thin.”“That’s okay!” I said. “We were kind of talking about you, so I guess it’s only fair that you join in. What do you think, by the way? About the island?”“It seems like a fine place. It’s where Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole wished for us to go.”“Yeah, but is it where you want to go?” I ask right back. “We can bring you elsewhere, or at least, to someplace where we’re going. Sylphfree is next, but then who knows where our next adventure will bring us?”“We... I don’t think I am made for adventure. I would rather have a quiet life, some dozen years to become whole, perhaps a little bit of company to sing and talk with.”“Alright,” I said. “We should at least make sure the island is safe before dropping you off though. I’d feel really awful if we brought you there, and then you got hurt right after.”Moonie bobbed up and down. “That’s appreciated. Truly.”“So! Assuming you do want to go down there, is there a place in particular you’d like to make landfall at? The island has some big hills in the middle, I think, and there are some trees and stuff on the west side.”“We have heard that there is a place with some cry near the south of the island. That would be the best place, I think. But we do not know where, exactly, that is.”“Then we’ll find it!” I said. “Come on, let’s get onto the deck. I bet we’ll be able to spot it from the air.”“Really, Broccoli? It’s unlikely to be some big town. What are you expecting, a large tower with ‘land here’ written next to it?” Amaryllis shook her head, then casually flipped a page. “If they’re trying to be hidden, then we won’t be able to spot them easily.”“I bet it's really hard to find something when you’re not even looking,” I said.Amaryllis looked up from her book, then snapped it shut with a clack. “Fine then, let’s prove it, shall we?”She stomped past in a birdy huff, then climbed up the steps at the rear.“I guess I should come too,” Awen said, and she wiggled out of her seat.“What were you working on?” I asked Awen as we started towards the back, Moonie a bit ahead of us.“Oh, ah, some plans. I need to make sure the new version of the crossbow platform fits right in the room on this side of the Beaver. She gestured to the empty guest bedroom. “The prototype is a bit big.”“So you need to make it smaller?”“More compact, yes. You can’t really make the seat smaller, or some of the mechanisms, so it’s everything else that needs to take up less space. And then there needs to be room for the rails, and a way for the wall to move out of the way.”“And it needs to stay somewhat airtight,” I said.“Airtight?”“What if we have to land in some water one day? Or if we fly north and arrive in a place that’s really cold, or someplace super hot? It’s probably best that the ship remains well-insulated.”“Oh, I hadn’t considered that.”I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Oops? Sorry, didn’t mean to put more on your plate.”Awen shook her head, arms waving this way and that in denial. “No, it’s better to know now!”We made it to the top deck, and all three of us moved over to the side where Amaryllis was glaring very hard at something ahead of us.I blinked, then leaned over the side a bit to see better. The Lonely Island was very desert-y. Not entirely made of sand, but more bare stone and windswept dirt, at least on one side. The hills in the middle marked a split, with grass growing on the other side.Out in the middle of a rather plain part was the unmistakable blue of a small lake, and right next to that, a big tower of pale stone.It would have been easier to miss if there weren’t so much nothing on the island.“Well, there’s a building,” I said.“I noticed,” Amaryllis said. “Moonie, does that crystal at the top look like something the cry would make?”I squinted, but I guess Amaryllis had better eyes than I did, because other than noticing that the top was more or less blue, I couldn’t make out a crystal.Moonie hovered close, then quivered in the air with a meaningless chime. “Yes. That is a cry.”“Should we get closer?” I asked. There didn’t seem to be any other villages around, but we were still a long way out.“We should be safe. The cry aren’t usually immediately aggressive. And we may be able to speak with them first,” Moonie said.I translated that, then came to a quick agreement with Amaryllis and Bastion, who had come over to see what all the fuss was about.“Clive! Port, ten degrees, and bring us down another hundred metres or so. I think we have a place to explore already!”“Aye aye, captain!”“Alright everyone,” I said. “Let’s get ready to move. We don’t know if the people down there are friend material just yet, so we might have to leave in a hurry. It might be best to be prepared, just in case.”I glanced at the tower again. It didn’t look particularly mean, just a big yellowish pillar.I hoped that it was filled with potential friends!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Towerhidden
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Towerhidden The Beaver circled around the tower. Not just to bleed off some speed, but because it let us snoop at the big tower and its surroundings, in case some not-so-neighbourly sorts of people were waiting to ambush us.That was mostly Bastion’s concern.I was looking forward to meeting the cry living in the tower.Or maybe it would be more accurate to say the cry that made up the tower.The entire top was a mushrooming cap of angular, bluish crystal, growing out and over the upper edge of the cylindrical tower. Every few meters around there were some arrow slits, but they were filled with jutting bits of blue crystal.“Looks clear,” Bastion said.“Same from this side!” Joe called out from where he was hanging off the other deck.Clive spun the wheel a little, then gently pushed one of the levers back up. The engine’s constant droning hum stilled, the Beaver slowing down a bunch. Finally, we started to rock a bit in the air. Without constant momentum pulling us ahead, and with the ship’s centre of gravity being somewhat high, we had a tendency to sway a bit.“We’ll get him settled, then come down a little until we can drop anchor,” Clive said. “We’ll be keeping our nose south.”I looked out ahead of the ship. “Isn’t that the direction we came from?” I asked the obvious.“Yes, and it’s a direction in which we didn’t see any adversaries,” Bastion said. “Good thinking, Clive.”“Not my idea,” the old harpy said. “Just some old common sense that’s been shared around.”With a whud, the anchor dropped onto the sandy ground around the oasis, Clive tugged back on a lever and the Beaver lowered down until the keep was hovering just a couple of metres over the ground.“Who wants to go down first?” I asked as I kicked the rope ladder down. It unfurled with a clatter and rattled against the hull before settling down.“Go ahead,” Amaryllis said. “This isn’t some unexplored land, so I hardly see any great glory in being the first to set their talon down.”I grinned and climbed down the ladder until I was a rung away from the earth. “That's one small step for a bun, one giant leap for bunkind.”“Broccoli, what on Dirt are you talking about?” Amaryllis asked.I looked up to see her half-contorted around to stare at me. “I’m having fun,” I said as I jumped back.Soon, all of my friends were gathered in the shade cast by the airship and its big balloon. Moonie didn’t take the ladder, on account of having no hands or legs or limbs at all, and just floated down to hover next to us.“Okay! Moonie, is there a proper way to greet a cry you haven’t met before?” I asked.“It’s customary to trade one’s full name, guest first. Other than that, there aren’t any customs I can think of, no,” the cry said.Just because Moonie couldn’t think of any customs, didn’t mean that there weren’t any. After spending so long on Dirt and meeting so many new people, I’d come to expect them to behave strangely compared to what I was used to.“Let’s go say hi then,” I said after translating what Moonie had said. “And let’s try to remember to be polite!”“Why were you looking at me when you said that?” Amaryllis asked.“Coincidence?”“You do know I’m the only one here with any sort of diplomatic training,” she said.“Awa, I have some,” Awen said. “It’s part of being a lady.”“As do I,” Bastion adds. “Paladins often escort diplomats, and royalty, for that matter.”I tapped my chin. “Well, I don’t have an education in being diplomatic, but I have convinced dragons not to eat villages, made deals with nobles of different countries, befriended princesses, and I can be real convincing sometimes.”Amaryllis pouted, which really didn’t suit her.“But, uh, I’m sure you’re really good too, Amaryllis,” I said.“Oh, stop it,” she mumbled. “Let’s go say hello to the sentient rock.”I shared a look with Awen, and we both giggled quietly before following Amaryllis.The tower was pretty impressive from the ground, an imposing brick pillar that rose up twice as tall as the Beaver, balloon and all. The bricks around it were shaved on the outside, giving the tower a smooth look, at least where they weren’t bulging out a little.The closer I got, the more I noticed the cracks and broken sections of the tower. For all that it was very impressively built, it was less-impressively maintained.“Where’s the door?” I asked.“There’s an opening there,” Awen said as she pointed to the side. “I saw it on the way down.”We walked around the base, giving the tower a fair amount of distance, in case some bit of it chose that moment to come tumbling down to bonk one of us on the head. When we reached the door, we all paused, no one taking the first step.“Whelp, nothing for it!” I cheered as I bounced ahead. The door was a solid plank of wood, with some iron reinforcements across it giving it strength.I knocked, of course.“Hello! My name is Broccoli, and I’m here with some friends. Is anyone home?”There was a long moment of silence before a bong like someone firing a rifle at a gong sounded out. “Who are you?”I folded my bun ears way back, shielding them from the noise. “Uh, hi! I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch. Captain of the Beaver Cleaver. These are my friends.” I gestured behind me, assuming that the cry that had spoken could see up somewhat.Amaryllis caught on first and stepped up with a slight bow. She presented herself, then Awen did the same, and finally Bastion.Moonie hovered closer to the tower, and even though the cry was expressionless, I could feel some trepidation bleeding off of it. “Greetings, great one. I am a Shard of Mountaintopper’s Growth, Fourth Shard, and not Yet Whole. We come in peace, to share our song.”If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.Stepping back a bit, I shared Moonie’s words with the others.“Can you understand the... tower as well?” Amaryllis asked.“It’s a bit loud, but yeah,” I replied.On cue, the tower chimed again. “I am Towerhidden.”No elaborate name, and no mention of titles and shards. Maybe that was because it had a proper name?Moonie seemed reluctant to speak, so I grinned up to the tower and tried to look as friendly as I could manage with my neck straining back. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Towerhidden. You have a very nice tower. Is it your home?”“It is,” Towerhidden replied. The pride in its voice was obvious, and also very loud. I stumbled back a bit, then worked my jaw to stop the ringing.“Cool, cool. Um. We came here to bring Moonie to safety. They’re a cry from the Crying Mountains who are being chased by other, much ruder cry.”“And what crime did they commit?”I glanced at Moonie, looking for a sign that the cry wanted me to answer that for them. Instead, they hovered closer. “We were born broken, too independent. I... I am me. Too much so.”“I see. Not an uncommon thing. And the one who helped you escape?”“Couldn’t Moonie escape on their own?” I asked.“No. They are too weak.”I frowned. That was rude. It might maybe have been right, but it was still rude.“Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole. They saw our plight, and nurtured us in the mountain. When it became clear that we would be unable to grow into a proper cry, they assisted us, bringing me to the Grey Wall, and hiring this soft one and her crew.”“We know of Shard of Waterwatches Compassion, Third Split and One Whole. They have brought many to this island.”“And no one is stopping them?” I asked.Moonie shook from side to side. “It is their compassion that leads them to act that way. Though they are only just whole, they are acting upon their progenitor’s instinct to protect and save. No cry can fault them, even if they disagree.”That was... well, it was weird. The cry really didn’t think the way a human would.“I suppose I only have to welcome you to the Lonely Island then. It is a quiet place on most days. The Monocorn graze to the north, and to the north and west is a small settlement of soft ones. Perhaps, if you wish, you may station yourself there to grow. They can be quite agreeable.”Moonie shifted. “I... I do like soft ones. Perhaps I will. Thank you for the welcome, Towerhidden.”Was that it? Moonie didn’t need to eat, and they didn’t need clothes and such, so were we just going to leave them here?“I must know. Were you followed on your way here?” Towerhidden asked.“Just out of the Grey Wall,” I said. “Some cry in rocket-powered planes attacked us. Other than that, though, no, I don’t think we were followed.”“You may want to reconsider that.”I spun around and looked to the south, ears bouncing back up straight as I squinted at the horizon and looked for... anything, really. There were some clouds, but nothing visible. “I can’t see anything.”“See what?” Bastion asked as he turned.“Towerhidden implies that we were followed,” I said.“My sight is greater than your own, soft one,” Towerhidden chimed in. “There are ships coming, three of them.”“What do they look like?” I asked.“I do not know much of the ships small ones use, but there are trailing great gouts of black smoke.”“Rocket-powered airships?” I asked. That sounded... really terrible.“We should go,” Bastion said.“Right,” I said. “Uh, this feels wrong, just leaving.”Moonie bobbed up and down, then paused. “Would... would I be asking too much to come with you? Only as far as the settlement to the north? Perhaps if I am seen leaving the ship, they will not chase you.”“I can assist,” Towerhidden said. “I do not want my location being divulged, but I can still assist. Reach Mistrust, and you will find aid waiting for you.”“Mistrust?” I asked.“The town of soft ones to the north. Go. I don’t wish the shards from the Crying Mountains around my tower.”I looked at my friends, then gestured to the Beaver. “We should get going,” I said.“One moment,” Towerhidden said. “Shard of Mountaintopper’s Growth, Fourth Shard, and not Yet Whole, I have something which I wish to give you. A missive to be passed on.”I gestured for my friends to go. I could catch up. And I sorta wanted to snoop into the tower while I was here.I didn’t get to see much. The door opened, and within was a cavern-like space, lined with bluish crystals that reflected light from every direction like an unmoving kaleidoscope. Moonie moved in, and I heard the tower hum and chime, but I couldn’t understand anything for a moment. Just as quickly as they entered, Moonie was out with a scroll, of all things, hovering next to them.“Got everything?” I asked.“I do,” Moonie said.“Neat! Bye, Towerhidden! I’d give you a goodbye hug, but I don’t have time to go all the way around and hug you equally.”“I fail to understand.”“That’s okay too,” I said. Poor Towerhidden. Didn’t know what he was missing. “Stay safe!”I sprinted back to the Beaver. The crew, my friends, were already running around and getting the airship ready to take off.Hopefully this next stretch of the adventure wouldn’t hurt our ship any more than it had been already. I hopped a few times, then bounced up and onto the deck. “Alright everyone! Let’s get ready to set sail!”“That’s what we’re doing, you unobservant idiot,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, right.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Nine — They're Going the Distance!
Chapter Two Hundred and Thirty-Nine — They're Going the Distance! The Beaver was, in my humble and ill-informed opinion, the best ship.We were making good time sailing across the Lonely Island. Clive set the engine to a speed that wasn’t so fast we'd need to worry about overheating in the long run, but was still much faster than usual. It strained the ship a little, but I knew the Beaver could handle it just fine.That was, if the ships behind us didn’t catch up.I stood on the aft castle at the rear, eyes straining to make out the tiny pinpricks way out in the distance. Towerhidden had to have good eyes. Or maybe... well, they were a giant eye-less crystal, so whatever they used for seeing had to be good. I couldn’t see anything but three faint pinpricks.“Ah, Broccoli?” Awen asked as she climbed up the steps to join me.I half-turned and grinned at her. “Hey! I’m trying to see the baddies before they get to us. Not that they’re necessarily baddies. I guess just... hmm, misunderstood? At a cultural crossroads with our own way of thinking and our current goals?”Awen giggled. “I think it’s okay to call them baddies.”“I don’t know. You start calling people baddies, and the next thing you know, whatever they do you see in a bad light. It’s a great way to listen less.”“Well, maybe if you could see them better, that wouldn’t be a problem,” Awen said. She eyed the deck for a moment, then pulled her hands out from behind the small of her back. “Here.”She was holding up a tube. A cylinder of what looked like worked brass, with some sort of guiding rod on one side with little screws next to it, the sort that ended in knobs. It was about the size of a soda can, but looked like it could expand.“Is that a telescope?” I asked.Awen nodded. “It’s a spyglass. It’s not perfect; the focus is a bit hard to handle, and the adjustments are a bit fiddly, but, well... I hope you like it?”She pushed it towards me, so I grabbed it, then I grabbed Awen and gave her the best thank-you hug I could manage. “This is so cool!” I cheered. “Thank you!”Awen laughed. “You’re welcome!”I pulled back and immediately brought the spyglass up-calling it a spyglass was also way cooler-and I tried to sight it on the ships in the distance. I had to extend it, of course, which made a satisfying clunk sound. Awen was right; the spyglass was a bit fiddly, but I figured it out and was able to make out the three ships following us in much greater detail.All three of them were much bigger than the Beaver. Or at least, they were wider. They had a long, flattened balloon, likely to keep it a little bit more aerodynamic, and their entire foresection was thin and wide. There couldn’t be any space for rooms beneath.Maybe that made sense, if cry didn’t need sleeping quarters and food and such. Rooms to handle that stuff would all be wasted space, so their airships just didn’t have anything like that.Instead, they had what looked like large ballistae on their front deck.“That looks like trouble,” I said.“May I?” Awen asked.I passed her the spyglass, and she looked through it, then adjusted it a tiny bit. “Oh, those look dangerous.”“And the cry onboard can probably do the laser thing,” I said.Awen passed the spyglass back, and I glanced through it again. Either she’d adjusted it better, or the cry ships were a whole lot closer. The image was much clearer, which didn’t inspire much confidence.“I don’t want to have to fight them,” I said.“I don’t think it’ll come to that,” Awen said. “At least, I hope not. I only have a dozen good bolts left, and a bunch of plain ones. Those ships look more dangerous than what we can take on. Maybe if there was only one?”“I can’t think of a way to split them up,” I admitted. And even just one would probably be enough to cause all sorts of trouble.“You’ll figure something out,” Awen said.“Yeah,” I replied. I hoped that she was right.Turning, I collapsed the spyglass, then looked for a place to stow it. My bandoleer had one pouch that was just big enough, so I emptied the emergency tea I had in it and tucked the telescope away for the moment.“Clive!” I called as I walked closer to the harpy pilot. “Is there anything we can do to move faster?”“Unless we do some downright dangerous things to our engine, I don’t think so,” Clive said. “Are they catching up?”“They are,” I said. “And they look like they’re way better armed than we are. I think we could take one of them on, but not all three.”“Aye, I understand, captain,” Clive said. “I don’t know how reasonable they are.”“What do you mean?”Clive rubbed a talon under his chin. “Pirates often want the booty aboard a ship more than they want the crew dead. It’s bad form to steal, but far worse form to kill for things. A captain ought to know when to surrender their cargo to keep the crew safe and hale, but I don’t think they’re after any cargo.”I chewed on my lower lip. They were after Moonie.Surrendering the cry wasn’t an option, of course. That would be just so mean. At the same time, we couldn’t fight back well enough to scare them off.“I don’t know what to do,” I said.Clive reached down and pushed the throttle up just a pinch. The engine roared just a tiny bit louder. “We’ll get you a bit more time,” he said.I nodded. “Thanks, Clive. Awen! Can you check on the engine, make sure it’s still running fine?”“Aye, aye, Broccoli!” Awen said before running off.“There’s a town ahead!” Joe called from the front of the ship.I ran over, leaning against one of the Beaver’s figureheads to see out ahead. Joe was right; there was a town. Nothing too big. Maybe something between Insmouth and Needleford in size. Not a town, but not quite a city yet. No port that I could see, and a lot of trees all around it.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.I tugged out my spyglass again, and squeezed an eye shut to take in the town in more detail.The houses looked like they’d all been built by one of two people. Some were squat stone buildings, others were much taller and made of wood. They at least shared the same roofing material. It made sense, if both cervid and sylphs had joined up here, then they’d both build homes in the way that they were most comfortable with.Then I noticed the towers in the centre of the town. Some five of them, with familiar bright blue dots around them that could only be more cry.“Right, I need Moonie,” I said.I had something of a plan, and not very much time to implement it.Awen, Amaryllis and Bastion soon joined me, along with a pile of tarp. When I was done explaining my idea, the three of them looked skeptical, but not altogether doubtful. I figured that meant that we had a good chance of succeeding.“It’s stupid,” Amaryllis said. “But it’s the kind of stupid that might work.”“I’ll do my best,” Awen said. “But there’s really not much time.”I nodded, understanding. “Your best is all I can ask for, Awen, and as for the other part, that’s only if Moonie agrees,” I said.Which meant explaining things to the cry in question. I left my friends above, where Amaryllis recruited the Scallywags to help her with her bit of the plan, then ran down to the deck below. Moonie was hovering in the dining room, a book floating before them.“Hey,” I said.“Hello, captain,” they replied.“So, we have a plan. It’s not a very good one, but it’s better than nothing. How good are you at hovering?”“I am capable enough,” Moonie said. “Though it depends on the circumstances.”“And if the circumstances are jumping off the side of the Beaver to land in the middle of a town?”“We... might not be that capable. We can slow down a fall, certainly, but we need something to push off of, and to orient ourselves. A more whole shard would be able to hold in place, though at the cost of great mana. As is, we can hover here by anchoring ourselves to the room. It takes less mana than we naturally regenerate.”“Okay,” I said. “Next question, do you know what a parachute is?”“No?”“Well then! I think you’re about to find out!”We returned to the top deck to find Awen sitting on the ground with a bunch of tools laid out around her. She had a few tubes out already, and more items that looked like a jumble of rods held together with wire and a few screws.“Ah, Moonie, I need your help,” Awen said as she bounced to her feet. “Can you fire a laser out? What’s the range of your laser attacks?”“The range is limited based on the amount of mana used,” Moonie said. “The more I use, the further it goes, but even then, the beam will dissipate after some distance.”“Lightning magic does the same,” Amaryllis said. “It’s only partially natural, and the attack will either ground itself, or just fizzle out once it’s outside of the caster’s range of control.”Awen nodded. “Can you fire a normal attack? Just out in the air.”Moonie bobbed up and down, then I felt a faint stirring in the air, and a reddish beam lanced out. It travelled a good fifty or so metres before it sort of faded away, losing its colour and becoming a blur in the air that went on for a little ways longer.“So that’s why they’re not shooting at us now,” I said.“Long-range magic is complicated,” Amaryllis said. “And mana-intensive. Spells that are held together without contact with the caster can travel much farther. A fireball will outrange a beam-like attack nine times out of ten.”“Huh,” I said. I wondered what that meant for ship-to-ship combat and the like. Fireballs weren’t that fast, after all. Maybe that was why ballistae were preferred over hiring a good mage.“Can you try with this?” Awen asked as she raised her tinkered-up device to Moonie. It was basically three glass discs held in place with three metal rods that had holes cut into them and screws fitted through those. “This is Broccoli’s idea, but I think it might work.”Moonie’s magic grabbed onto the focus and spun it around. “What do I do with this?” they asked.“Shoot the laser through it,” I said.The cry aimed the device out towards the empty sky and fired.The beam scattered, travelling all of a metre as a wide unfocused burst.“Ah, let me see that,” Awen said. She tugged out one of the bits of glass with a few twists of a screw, then frowned a moment before a new disc formed over her palm and she tucked it in. “Try with this.”Moonie fired again, and this time the beam was a lot tighter, though it did fire off at an angle. Still, I guesstimated that it had travelled quite a bit farther. “I think it’s working,” I said.“I’ll calibrate it some more,” Awen said. “We don’t have a lot of time to figure out what’s optimal though, and I have to make a bunch of these.”I patted her on the back. “Do what you can,” I said before jumping over to where Amaryllis was trying to direct the Scallywags. The parachute they were making looked... somewhat functional. A bunch of cords connected to a round-cut sailcloth with a little hole in its middle. The cords converged on a rope harness that Oda was stringing together with surprising ease.“This thing looks like a mess,” Amaryllis said. “I understand the principle of it, but still.”“Moonie can mostly slow themselves down, I think,” I said. “This just needs to slow them down a little more than that. It’s aiming them towards the centre of town that’ll be tricky.”“This plan is stupid; I have said that, right?”“You did,” I replied, “but maybe it’ll work!”“Hmph,” she said. “We’ll see.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty — Cry Havoc, And Let Slip the Lasers of War
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty — Cry Havoc, And Let Slip the Lasers of War The Beaver swooped down towards the town, like a whale plunging down to nibble at some plankton.“All sails!” Clive called out, and-across both decks-a bunch of us tugged back on ropes at the same time. All around the Beaver, the ship’s sails unfurled fully, snapping in the wind, and slowing the Beaver down enough that I suddenly felt a lot heavier, as if I was on an elevator shooting up.“Moonie! This is it,” I shouted. We were only a couple of hundred metres above the town, the pretty cry towers in the centre looming closer. I squinted, and could make out the bobbing blue forms of at least a dozen cry.“Take care, everyone,” Moonie said as they hovered by the edge of the deck. They had our makeshift parachute held in a telekinetic grip, and around them was a satchel filled with the tubes Awen had jury-rigged. “You were enjoyable companions, and fair friends. Thank you.”I grinned. “Thank you too! It was a pleasure having you aboard the Beaver Cleaver.”Moonie bobbed up and down one final time, then they slid off the side of the ship while we cheered them on.“I hope they remember your half-baked plan,” Amaryllis said.“It’s an excellent plan,” I countered before half-turning to Clive. “Let’s get some altitude!”“Aye-aye,” Clive said. He pulled a lever back and, as planned, let the engine slow down, so that we were flying mostly on momentum and what speed we could get from the engine idling. The wind, at least, was in our favour.Seeing as how there wasn’t much to do but wait, I hung off the side of the Beaver and looked down.The parachute was working. I could make out the big, rounded-ish tarp floating down a ways behind us. Moonie must have been using their hovering ability to aim it, because it seemed to be heading towards the five towers in the centre of town. Some of the cry hovering around there were grouping up, maybe curious about their new airdropped friend.“It’ll be fine,” Bastion said.“You think?” I asked.“The cry after us must have seen Moonie dropping; they’ll want to slow down if their goal is to recapture them. We’re no longer their target.”“But Moonie is, and we basically just threw them overboard,” I said.“We threw them into the hands of allies more capable of protecting them,” Bastion said. He patted me on the shoulder. “You’re a good person, Broccoli, and a surprisingly competent captain and leader, but you still lack a bit of experience. It can be hard for an officer to learn that sometimes things are beyond your control.”“I know that,” I said, and if I was pouting a bit as I said it, Bastion didn’t comment. “It just feels wrong.”Amaryllis moved over, looking fairly smug, or at least more smug than usual. “Moonie’s landed,” she said. “I think she’s handing out Awen’s little telescope devices.”“Really?” I asked. A glance over the edge revealed that Amaryllis was right, at least as far as I could tell. We’d moved past the edge of the town already, and it was hard to make out details from so far away. “Great! Clive, circle us around!”Clive nodded, and with a spin of the helm, set the Beaver to making a big, wide turn. We’d be drawing huge circles in the sky by the edge of the town soon enough.“We could just keep going,” Amaryllis said. “In fact, that’s very much what we should be doing.”“I... maybe, but I want to see how things play themselves out.”Amaryllis shook her head, but she didn’t protest any more than that.I watched, biting my lower lip, as the distant cry airships became not-so-distant. On the ground, the cry were starting to hover back up around their towers, and I saw parts of those towers being moved aside to reveal the crystalline blue of large cry within. More cry like Towerhidden then.The three cry ships split apart, two of them veering off towards our right, the third the left.A bell started to toll in the town below, and I felt a pit in my tummy as I saw people running around in a panic. We had scared so many of them. Or, well, we had brought the things scaring them with us. Same difference, I figured.One of the airships fired ahead, a thick red beam that zipped down towards the base of the towers only to be met by a shield wall.And then the cry on the ground fired back.It was easy to tell who had Awen’s new toys. Those beams were tighter and faster while the more normal ones tended to dissipate in mid-air.I gasped as a few beams raked across the underside of one airship, leaving blackened lines behind on the wood.The airships started to circle around the town, beams lancing out towards the towers and being met with hastily thrown shields.And then the towers opened fire.The magical lasers they shot out were nothing like the little beams from the small cry. They were as thick around as I was tall, ears and all, and when they shot past, it was with a roar that made the air vibrate.Shields sprung up around the cry airships, gigantic crystalline snowflakes that instantly went from a pure, bright blue to a darkening purple as the beams impacted them. They reddened more and more, and even from afar I could see the clouds of superheated air wavering off of the shields.Then one of them broke, and the airship in the lead juked violently to the side as a laser rammed into its prow.The five beams from the five towers stopped, the air stilling once more with a quiet that was somehow louder than the attack itself had been.The foremost cry airship had a hole in its prow that cut a tunnel all the way out to its opposite side, the edged blackened and smoking. It was still able to fly though, and as it demonstrated a moment later, it was able to fire back.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.“This is awful,” I said.“Yeah,” Amaryllis agreed simply.Another volley of lasers were exchanged, with a few burns left in the stone walls of the towers below, but it was the airships that suffered the most. The burns across their hulls caught fire in a few spots, and the lead ship’s engine seemed to explode as something important was hit.Rocket powered airships required rocket fuel to work. It seemed like a terrible idea, all of a sudden.Fortunately, the ship’s forward momentum carried it out past the edge of the town, where it plowed through the top of a hill before skidding to a flaming stop.The other airships relit their engines and started to regain some speed, but not before the towers returned fire again. The leftmost ship wasn’t prepared for it, a thick beam slicing across its balloon before cutting into its deck and burning a line across the side of the ship from top to bottom.The balloon, torn nearly entirely in half, spewed out gas into the sky even as it started to spin around.I would have called it a victory, only the ship was veering towards the Beaver.“Clive!” I screamed.The old harpy took one glance at the ships, then spun the wheel around and slammed the gas lever up to full. The Beaver turned sharply away from the town and the falling cry ship, our boost of speed giving us plenty of space to spare even as the falling ship dropped below our current altitude.And then a trip of beams shot up from the ship’s deck and punctured through-and-through our balloon.“Oh no,” I said.“Captain!” Clive called. “We’re losing altitude.”I froze for a moment. We were going to crash? Like that ship?I imagined my friends being thrown around, the Beaver being dashed apart on the ground, wood tearing and our home being ripped apart.“Broccoli!” Amaryllis snapped.I shook my head. “Full power to the grav engine! Clive, slow us down. Awen! See if you can’t get the engine to give us more time. Everyone, all sails out! Steve, check the balloon—can we patch those holes?”I got a chorus of “aye ayes” and some “okay, Broccoli’s,” then I jumped to help my friends.With all of his sails angled to act as parachutes, the Beaver was a fair bit slower in the air, and the gravity engine reduced our weight by a whole bunch, but that wasn’t enough to stay buoyant.A glance off the side revealed the ground approaching. Not too quickly, but approaching all the same.Steve waved at me from across the deck and shook his head. “Clive, we need to land. What are we looking for in a landing space?”“Something flat,” the harpy pilot said.I rushed to the side and started to look for just that, but the town was surrounded by hills and forests. There was some room between some patches of trees, but nothing that was even remotely flat.I glanced back to the town, where the remaining cry airship was retreating with a plume of fire bursting out behind it. It wasn’t even returning fire, just focusing on keeping its shields up to weather the angry lasers coming from the ground. I even noticed other magic being flung up. Lightning bolts and fireballs and even the occasional arrow.The town was flinging everything it had at the cry, and the cry were scampering off as quickly as they could manage it.I wanted to cheer them on, but I had more important things to do, like... like noticing that the centre of town, where the five towers were, was mostly empty, with a large paved area in the centre of the five towers that could very easily fit a ship the size of the Beaver.“Clive! Centre of town, near the towers. There’s a space in the middle. It’s all flat and paved. Can we land there?”Clive craned his neck to see what I was talking about, then turned the helm a little bit, angling us more towards the centre of town.We were still losing altitude when Clive reversed the engine and we came to a gentle stop in the middle of the towers. We soon dropped under the tops of the towers, all five of them rising around the Beaver on all sides, like the fingers of a stone giant’s hands.“We’re dropping a bit faster than I’d like, Captain,” Clive said. “We need to lose some mass.”“Weigh the anchors!” I called. Those were pretty heavy already. “And, uh... oh shoot, what else can we do?”I ran to the side, and saw a few cry hovering closer, some of them with Awen’s laser focuses near them. Laser focuses aimed at us.“Hey!” I called out, an arm waving above me. “We need to slow down more! Can you shield the ground?”That seemed to do the trick. People who were going to attack or something didn’t usually ask for help. At least, I hoped not.A few cry summoned shields that the Beaver rammed into, shattering them a moment later. Still, the heavy lurch of it all did slow us down, even if I worried that it was causing a lot of damage to the keels.More cry came over, and soon a dozen of them hovered next to the Beaver. I wasn’t sure what they were doing until I felt us slowing down.Telekinesis. One cry could lift a bit, so maybe with a dozen of them pushing back together...Then one of the towers glowed from within and the Beaver’s descent slowed down even more.Carefully, with an almost gentle clunk, our airship touched down.And then the tarp of our balloon draped itself over all of us.Congratulations! Captaining is now Rank E!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-One — Islanding
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-One — Islanding “Oh, this is heavy,” I complained as I pushed the tarp up and off of me. The Beaver’s balloon was made of a thick, coarse material—I was guessing some sort of canvas that was treated to be a little more airtight and weather-resistant.With a grunt of effort, I climbed to my feet, arms pushing up and tenting the canvas around me so that I could see around the deck. The sunlight, filtered by the blue cloth, made everything very blue, but that didn’t mean I was unable to find Amaryllis pushing and shoving against some of the canvas covering her.“This... this is annoying,” she said.“Well, it’s not so bad. At least we landed safely?”“Oh yes, how wonderful,” she griped. “Never going to get anywhere on time now.” She seemed to be in something of a foul mood. I couldn’t really blame her.“Come on, let’s find the others; make sure everyone is okay. And then, I guess we can work on getting this tarp off the top of the ship?”Amaryllis and I were pushing and shoving our way towards the Beaver’s prow when we found the first of our crewmates.“Oh no,” I said.Orange was on the ground, lying on her side, sprawled out across the deck.I gasped and fell onto my knees next to the spirit kitten-who was more of a cat now— and reached out.On touching her, the cat opened her eyes and glared, a sort of “why are you waking me up” glare. “You’re not hurt?” I asked.Her tail curled up and back down, and she let her head fall back onto the deck.“Okay then,” I said.The tarp started to lighten, and then it was lifted up to float above us. Standing a bit straighter now that I didn’t have a dozen kilos of canvas weighing me down, I looked around and saw all of my friends. Everyone seemed mostly fine. Awen poked her head out of a hatch on the other deck, while Clive grabbed the ship's wheel and pulled himself upright.Around us hovered a dozen cry, all of them spaced out more or less evenly around the Beaver Cleaver while the tarp floated on seemingly nothing at all. “Okay,” I said. “Everyone, let’s gather here! We might need to get off the Beaver for a bit.”“That would be wise,” a cry chimed.I turned, then looked up as a cry hovered closer. They were huge, a pillar of crystal as big around as a wagon. They had a slight deformation in their crystal on one side, a large purple-ish blotch that stood out quite a bit.“Hi,” I said. “My name is Broccoli Bunch, I’m the captain of the Beaver Cleaver. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thanks for the help. Not just with the tarp, but with slowing us down. I’m glad we didn’t crash!”“We greet you, soft one. We are Shard of the Exiled Pillar, First Split and One Whole. We are not the leader of this community, but often act as an intermediary between our kind and the local soft ones.”“You’re the local diplomat,” I said. “That’s wonderful! What’s this town called?”“This is the town of Mistrust.”I blinked. “That’s not the most cheery name, but okay. I’m sorry that we landed right in the middle of your town. We took a bit more damage than we would have liked, and this was the only flat spot around. Do you know if there are any mechanics or, um, airship engineers in Mistrust?”“We are not aware of either,” Shard of the Exiled Pillar, First Split and One Whole said. “In most circumstances, we would be wary of assisting you, but you came escorting a lost shard in need of assistance, and that same shard delivered interesting devices to us. Are you the one that created those?”“The focusing lenses? No, that was Awen. I just had the initial idea from science class.” I glanced around at all of the cry silently helping lift the balloons around us. “Maybe... maybe we could trade?”“Trade?”“Yeah! You seem to like the focusing devices. They were cobbled together in less than an hour. Imagine how much better Awen could make them if we gave her a bit more time? I bet she wouldn’t mind making a dozen more. And in exchange, you give us permission to land here, and a bit of a helping hand getting our balloon fixed.”“You plan to leave already?” the cry asked.“Well, we don’t have much of a choice. We’re trying to stop a war, and if we don’t make it back soon, that could mean a lot of trouble for a lot of people.”“What is the cry saying?” Amaryllis asked.I translated real fast, and she nodded, then set a talon on my shoulder. “We obviously did not intend to land in your town, though the circumstances of that landing should be taken into account. We came to this island specifically to deliver Shard of Mountaintopper’s Growth, Fourth Split, and not Yet Whole. In the carrying out of that duty, we were followed and attacked by cry who I can only presume are your own adversaries.”“The cry from the Crying Mountains are not our adversaries,” Shard of the Exiled Pillar, First Split and One Whole chimed, pausing for me to translate. “We are exiled from them, broken away, and therefore do not have the standing upon which to declare them enemies. They are within their rights to trespass upon this island.”“Uh,” I said. “That... okay? I don’t get it. You did fight back.”“Just because they have the right to do something, does not mean it is the right thing to do,” they explained.That sounded a little strange to me, but I wasn’t quite ready to argue it. “Well, I’m glad you helped. I can’t imagine things going well if you had refused to help.”“They were here with ill intent. As for your trade, we are willing to engage with the idea. The location where your ship is stationed is inconvenient, but we understand the reasoning for your landing here.”This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.“Thank you,” I said, and I meant it too. The cry were being very nice, and super understanding. “We’ll try not to stay around for too long.”“We would appreciate that,” Shard of the Exiled Pillar, First Split and One Whole chimed before backing away.I turned to my friends and crewmates. No one was injured, which was a great place to start. “Okay, everyone, we’re in a bit of trouble, but we can make it out of here. Clive, Steve, Gordon, what can we do about the balloon?”“Now that we’re on solid footing,” Clive began. “Plenty. If we can purchase some tarp and canvas here, we can fix it up. Better than just a quick patch-job too.”“Helium will be an issue,” Steve said. “It looks like two of the inner sacs are fine, but that means that six of them were pierced through. Once the balloons are fixed, we’ll need to replace the gas.”“And it’s unlikely this backwater has any,” Amaryllis said. “No airship port, so no refueling or repair stations. There might be an alchemist here, but I doubt they’ll have the materials or skills to synthesize helium from empty air.”“Oh, that’s not great,” I said. “Could we use something else?”“Hydrogen?” Awen asked. “Ah, but that’s... not safe.”“Wildly dangerous,” Amaryllis said. “If we don’t have a choice, we can try that.”I rubbed at my chin. We needed a gas that we couldn’t get easily, which... wasn’t great. “Could we put the Beaver on the ocean and sail to Sylphfree?” I asked.“We... that’s a dumb idea,” Amaryllis said.“Possibly,” Clive replied. “But I wouldn’t be keen on it. Not much experience sailing on water, and we’d need to waterproof the hull, add sails, patch some holes up. It would be a lot of work.”“There are some ports in Sylphfree that we could sail to,” Bastion said. “But travel by ocean is slow.”“So that’s a plan B,” I said. “Oh! The other airships!”“What other airships?” Joe asked. He was standing with the Scallywags, all three of them looking a bit rough-and-tumbled from our little adventure.“The ones that went down. I think two of them crashed. Their balloons might be intact.”“That could work,” Amaryllis said. “If not the balloons themselves, then the sacs within them. And they likely had a few tanks of helium onboard.”“We don’t have any?” I asked.“Two of them, but each can only refill one sac,” Awen said. “And we’ve used up a bit to make up for the losses last time.”I nodded. “Okay, we’ll do this in two parts. One group can go out and try to scavenge things. Another stays here to guard the Beaver and repair our balloon.” I glanced around, at all the cry still holding things up above us. “We can’t ask the cry to help up all day long, that wouldn’t be fair. Awen, I... may have promised that you’d help the cry make more of those focuses.”“I don’t mind,” Awen said. “I might need more materials to make them, though, and maybe some tools that I don’t have.”“Then we’ll talk with Shard of the Exiled Pillar, First Split and One Whole together. I’m sure they can arrange for us to get you set up to make them as quick as possible.”“How do you want to divide things?” Bastion asked.I rubbed at my chin. “Gordon, can you come with us to salvage things? And... maybe Oda and Sally too? Steve, Clive and Joe can stay here to fix the tarps. Bastion, if you don’t mind coming with us, that would be nice.”“Certainly,” Bastion said.“And myself?” Amaryllis asked.“Come with me? We might need to negotiate things with the town’s people. You’re better at prices and things than I am.”“Very well,” she said. “We should get a move on. We’re likely to lose half a day to all of this already; I don’t want to turn that into two.”“You’re right,” I said. The passing of time was already weighing on me a little. It wouldn’t do for our first introduction to our new sylph friends to be arriving late. “Okay, does anyone have any ideas that we could use?”Oda raised a hand. “We could get some help from the locals. They might have some mechanics, even if they’re not airship mechanics.”“That’s not a bad idea,” I said. “We might meet some people, so I’ll try to make some friends.”“This is a penal colony,” Bastion said. “Or at least, a town built by prisoners and exiles. Keep sharp; they might not be as friendly as you’d wish.”I nodded, though it was a bit of a reluctant nod. “Okay. Anything else?” No one seemed to have anything to say, so I clapped my hands together. “Alright! Then let’s get started! We have a whole bunch of work to get done, but I’m sure we’ll manage.”“Aye, aye,” Clive said. He stepped back, then started directing the others to get to work right away.I wasn’t going to belittle his hard work by not giving it my all too. “Okay, let’s get down. We need to find out where the ships crashed, and if there are any cry around the landing zones. I guess that the local cry might want to help with that.”“Do they even take prisoners?” Amaryllis asked.“I... guess? I don’t know. Maybe they’ll just kick them out and let them fly back home under their own power. I guess it’s a little bit out of our hands.” I’d interfere to stop anything too bad from happening, but the cry had kinda-sorta attacked the town, so I figured whatever passed for police around here would be interested in capturing them at least.“Don’t worry,” Amaryllis said. “We’ll be back in the air in no time.”
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Two — A Tale of Two Prison Colonies
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Two — A Tale of Two Prison Colonies Things didn’t exactly go as easily as I may have wanted.For one thing, I’d thought most of the work we’d have to do would be around the crashed ship. I kind of expected to be able to reach the ship first.I hadn't foreseen that our path would be blocked by not one, but two bands of townsfolk.To the right was a group of cervid. They had leather barding and some cloth over their backs and wrapped around their front. Tassels hung from the men’s antlers, and the women wore more elaborate clothes, dyed and decorated with little beads.To the left was a group of sylph, maybe a dozen in all. They had clothes made of similar materials, leather and cloth of the same material, and they seemed to be centred around a sylph woman in an elegant set of robes.Neither group looked all that happy to see us.I took a deep breath, then stepped up. “Hello! I’m Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch! I hope we can all be friends!”The two groups eyed each other, and two of them stepped up. One of the cervid men, with a particularly impressive set of antlers, and the sylph woman in the robes.“I am Kevin Marques, mayor of Mistrust,” the cervid said.The sylph woman stepped up to his side with a dignified huff. “I am Celia Fallfront, mayor of Mistrust.”I blinked. “The town has two mayors?” I asked.“It does,” Mayor Marques said. “It is the most effective way of getting things done here, or so we’ve found. Mistrust might not be the grandest or richest place, but we do well for ourselves, at least when ships aren’t crashing down onto our fair town.”That last bit sounded very pointedly aimed at us.I winced. “Was anyone hurt?”“No,” Mayor Fallfront said. “But it was a near thing. A house was set aflame on the edge of town, and one of the ships that fell landed in a farmer’s lot.”I gasped. “Someone lost their home?”“Nearly. We put out the flames before anyone was hurt, but the damage was done,” Mayor Marques said. “Which leaves only the matter of reparations.”I was about to tell them that we’d gladly pay, when a taloned hand grabbed my shoulder and tugged me back a step. “Let me,” Amaryllis said. “Mayor, and Mayor, I am not the keenest harpy that has ever hatched, but I can put two and two together when it suits me. What’s the meaning of this ambush?”“Ambush?” I repeated.We were right on the edge of the circle created by the five cry towers. There was a bit of greenery around them, maybe a dozen or so metres of cleared space, with a few trees and some bushes. Circling that was a beaten-dirt road that split off every which way into the town proper. We were still right on the edge of that little strip of park.“They were waiting around for us to show up. This looks like one of the only paths out of the area, or at least one of the paths onto the main road dividing the town. My concern is more about why they’re trying to ambush us.”The sylph mayor harrumphed. “We are hardly trying to ambush you; we are merely guarding our peaceful town. Your arrival has caused quite the stir, and disrupted an otherwise ordinary day.”“We’re sorry,” I said. “We were tasked with delivering a cry to the Lonely Island. We didn't know that we’d be followed, or that the cry would attack us with airships and such.”“So you’re trying to deflect blame?” Mayor Fallfront asked.“Not at all,” Bastion said from right behind me. He stepped around me, and came to stand by my side. “The captain was merely informing you of what happened.”Mayor Fallfront stood a little taller as she took in Bastion. “A paladin?” she asked.“Yes,” he said.I glanced between the two, then sighed. “This is all very tense. I think we might have started on the wrong foot. My crew and I were trying to help someone when we were attacked. We didn’t mean to cause trouble in your town, and we’re sorry that we did. If there’s anything we can do to help you, then tell us. I’m sure we can negotiate.”“That’s a fair approach,” Mayor Marques said when the other mayor failed to say anything. She was too busy staring at Bastion without any expression on her face. “To be perfectly fair, I don’t think the damages to the town are that extensive. Perhaps a small remuneration would suffice?”“Like silver and gold?” I asked.“No, no, we have little use for currency here,” he said. “We can’t exactly travel to the mainland to spend it. Perhaps food? Seeds would be valuable, as well as any materials that are difficult to find on the Lonely Island.”“That sounds fair,” I said.I glanced at Amaryllis, who shrugged a bit. “It doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea to barter. We have some surplus equipment, I think. And we need materials for repairs.”I nodded. “That’s why we’re here,” I said. “We’re going to salvage from the two airships that crashed around the town. They have a few things we need.”Mayor Fallfront snapped out of whatever had her staying quiet. “Those fell within the boundaries of Mistrust. They, by all rights, should be ours.”“What would you use them for?” I asked.“Why, to leave this place, perhaps?” the mayor tried. “Or merely for parts. What we use them for doesn’t matter—they belong to us.”“The cry are the ones who brought them down,” Bastion pointed out.“Then they can claim them if they wish. I doubt it though.”Amaryllis sighed. “You’re going to have us bargain for every piece we take, aren’t you?”“I suppose that would depend entirely on what you take. Mistrust has a smithy, and some very talented carpenters,” Mayor Marques said.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.I wasn’t sure what to think of our strange reception. They could have been a lot worse. As it was, they didn’t feel... friendly, exactly, but they weren’t mean either. They felt more greedy than anything else.That wasn't the best, but it was better than being hostile. "Amaryllis, do you think you could handle the negotiation part? We should get to the ship sooner than later, especially if we want to see what’s worth taking.”“Yeah, that’s fair,” Amaryllis said. She smiled, and it was the kind of smile I’d expect to see on a hawk that stumbled across an injured bunny. “I’ll be sure to get us a good deal.”“Let’s all stick close,” Bastion muttered, low enough that I only just caught it with all four ears peeled.I nodded and stepped forward. “So, Mayors, could someone maybe guide us to the crashed ships? If we need any additional materials, then I’m sure we could negotiate for them once we know what we need.”Everyone seemed to think that that was perfectly reasonable, so off we went.Mistrust was a sprawling town. The homes were built with yards around them, some with gardens and others surrounded by trees. It was actually hard to see how big the town was from ground level. The cervid homes tended to be larger, but they didn’t have second storeys to them most of the time. The doors were also scaled up in size.The sylph homes were more like mini-towers, tall and thin, with as much space around them as they could manage, and they frequently had balconies around their upper floors.What was most interesting were the hybrid homes. Short, fat towers with big doors and ramps around the outside.“Do the two groups here live together?” I asked the mayors.Mayor Marques hummed, his head tilting back a bit. It was rather imposing to have someone so tall nearby. He was taller than Emmanuel had been, with much bigger antlers. “Once, we both settled in this area as two camps. We both had something the other needed, so an alliance was formed, though it was initially tenuous.”“But it’s better now?” I asked.“Oh, certainly. We had two mayors because we were two towns. But some folk trusted others, and the settlements grew closer. The cry were here long before us, of course, and their towers became the centre of our community.”“That’s so cool,” I said. “But if you’re just one town now, why are there two mayors still?”“Some issues are unique to either the cervid or sylph, and while we have grown closer, we are not all in agreement about everything, so rather than elect one leader, we have two.”I nodded. “That’s kinda cool; I like it. People getting along is something I can get behind.”“Does the town have difficulties, what with the population being made up nearly entirely of convicts?” Bastion asked.The mayors both sniffed. “I’ll have you know,” Fallfront said. “That most of the population here are the children of those originally exiled. Or their children’s children. The vast majority of the convicts here are or were the non-violent sorts. Oh, we have a few thieves, but everyone knows who they are, and when something goes missing we know who to poke at to get it back. We don’t abide the dangerous sort of criminal. Mostly, we have people who disagreed with how things were being done, in Sylphfree or the Trenten Flats.”I gestured to Bastion to drop the subject. We didn’t need to antagonize the townsfolk. I figured most of us were safe, but Bastion’s job was literally the sort of job that might lead to him arresting some of the people that were here.“Ah, there it is,” the cervid mayor said.The first of the two crashed cry airships was slumped before us, its hull leaning up against a few trees. The engine at the back looked like it had burned itself out, but not before leaving a blackened streak across the grass.The ship was rather barge-like from up close, without much depth to its keel. The sails were torn up and shredded, likely when the airship crashed through the bit of forest around us.“Is it safe to go aboard?” I asked.“Probably not,” Amaryllis said as she moved past me. “But it still has some balloons.”She was right. There were a big chunk of the ship’s balloons still left, though it had torn open in a few spots, and looked like a plastic grocery bag that had spent some time as a kitten’s chew toy.“Right! Okay. Let’s see what we can do with those remaining helium sacs. And, uh, are there any cry crew left on it?”“No,” Mayor Marques said. “A couple of cry were seen flying away from it before anyone from town came to inspect this one. The local cry poked at it too. I think they found one cry stuck in the frame of the other ship that they took with them.”“Oh,” I said. That was good to know.I was a bit surprised when Oda stepped up next to me, then wiped at his whiskery teenager mustache. “That engine looks dangerous. I don’t know how rockets work, but it was giving off a whole trail of flame earlier.”“So we take our time, and we make sure to be careful,” I said.“What do you plan on taking here?” Mayor Marques asked.“Mostly the balloons,” I said. “Ours were perforated, so we need more helium. Maybe they have some tanks of that here, but I don’t know. We could use some of the tarp that the sacs are made of too.”“Ah,” he said. “Well, that sounds like a rare and valuable resource then.”Amaryllis sighed. “Broccoli, go take care of overseeing things. I’ll handle the mayors.”“Alright,” I said. Amaryllis really was the best at negotiating that among us. I’d just do my part to help gather the things we’d need to get the Beaver back in the air.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Three — Sanity Check
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Three — Sanity Check The work of getting the Beaver fixed and ready for flight was tough, but not impossibly so. We found two intact helium sacs at the first cry airship, and one at the second. They were considerably smaller than the sacs the Beaver Cleaver had by default, but Amaryllis and Awen did a bit of math together and figured that they’d be enough, if just barely.The better news was the intact helium tank aboard one of the ships. It was a big brass cylinder that took two to lift, but we managed, especially as some of the townsfolk from Mistrust didn’t seem to mind giving us a hand.Initially, they weren’t super open to helping us, but they were quite neighbourly after we proved we didn’t intend to cause any trouble.Amaryllis seemed fairly pleased with her negotiations. We were going to lose a lot of the produce we had. As it turned out, Mistrust lacked some very basic things, and the mayors were both interested in getting all of the potatoes and turnips and onions we had in our pantry, even those that had started to sprout buds.The town would soon have more vegetables to eat, which seemed to excite them a lot. When I asked Mayor Marques about it, he said that they had a few local crops for their gardens, but not many. Mostly carrots and some local plants they’d discovered were edible.By the time noon rolled around, we had all the new balloons mounted within the wrapping tarp of the Beaver Cleaver’s original balloon. With one of the burst sacs repaired and refilled, the Beaver was slowly gaining back some of its buoyancy.It would be a bit of a rough flight though, with us relying on our gravity generator to reduce our weight. Awen was in the engine room monitoring the machinery while some of our other mechanically-inclined teammates scurried over the ship and patched things up. It wouldn’t do for a bad bit of sewing to open up a tear.“Your crew is quite competent,” Mayor Fallfront said as she came to stand next to me.I grinned and nodded. “We have some of the very best,” I said. “Maybe not the most experienced, but they’re all people I’d consider friends, and that’s important, I think.”“Hmm. Where will you be flying next? Not somewhere too distant, I imagine?”“Sylphfree,” I said. “It’s not too far now, and we’re late to arrive already. I think we’ll make it though.”The mayor hummed again, then looked at me critically. “You might want to be careful. Sylphfree is a beautiful nation, with some excellent people. Smart, talented people, but they value certain virtues more than others. Propriety is greater than kindness in the eyes of many a sylph.”“Oh,” I said. That wasn’t great. She didn’t seem to want to explain much more than that, though, and soon returned to the other mayor. The town was organizing things so that their best gardeners would get some samples from our pantry. Amaryllis had also traded away a bunch of other foodstuffs, things they couldn’t get here. Flour and grains and such. I think they were hoping to find some seeds they could plant too.We ended up meeting mostly outside. I slapped together some sandwiches with what we had left-we really would need to restock soon-and handed them out to everyone in the crew.By the time the sun was clearly starting to dip, we were just about done fixing up the Beaver as best we could.The detour to the Lonely Island had cost us about a day, I figured. Maybe a tiny bit less since we had flown as fast as we could after the Grey Wall, as opposed to just taking our time.Still, it was my failing as a captain that was leading us to be even later to our appointment. I didn’t regret the fun we had, or the great adventures helping people that needed helping, but it was still my fault that we’d be late.As we were packing things up and picking up the tools that had gotten scattered around, I noticed a familiar cry hovering closer. “Moonie!”“Hello,” Moonie said. “I wanted to greet you one last time before you took off again.”I grinned and bounced over to the cry to give it a quick, tight hug. “It’s nice of you to come say bye. Did you make any new friends?”“We are... uncertain if we have made friends, but we have certainly met new and interesting cry. This place is better than I had imagined or hoped for. There are still many things to do, and the cry who are here are very different from the cry I know, and even more different from each other.”“That sounds nice,” I said. “You get to meet not just new people, but strange new people.”“I have!” Moonie spun around, and while I wasn’t an expert at reading cry body language, I figured that was a good sign they were happy.We chatted, just for a little bit, but it was obvious that Moonie was excited to return to their new friends, and I had a lot of work ahead of me too.It was hard, being all responsible and stuff.Once everyone was back aboard the Beaver and the sails were tucked in, I turned to Clive behind the wheel and nodded. “Alright, bring him up.”The engine rumbled to life and I felt the ship shifting a moment before we started to rise. The crew cheered. Well, mostly it was just me, but technically I was part of the crew too.It was slow, no faster than I could walk, but we were moving upwards, the ground dropping below and the cry towers sliding past. The wind picked up a little, and set us to rocking, but with Clive at the helm, we managed to stay right in the middle until we cleared the tops of the towers.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.“Clive, full speed ahead! We have some catching up to do!”“Aye, aye, captain!”We deployed the Beaver’s sails, spun up the propeller at the back, and shot forwards over forests and rivers and hilly landscapes. We were heading north, to the next leg of our adventure, and hopefully to Sylphfree where, if everything worked out, we’d be able to stop a war.I stood on the foredeck, eyes peeled and ears straight despite the wind battering them down every so often. I was expecting someone to come up and talk. The excitement had died down a little and there wasn’t all that terribly much to do on the Beaver when we were just sailing peacefully along. I wasn’t expecting the friend to come up to me to be Joe.I hadn’t been spending all that much time with the Scallywags.That was probably a bit weird. We were on the same ship, and we had breakfast, lunch and supper together everyday. But still, all three of them tended to hang out together as their own little clique aboard the ship, the same way Steve and Gordon and Clive tended to hang out together. There were plenty of times where we’d all mix together, and I was pretty sure that everyone considered everyone else a friend.“Hey, Joe,” I said.“Hey, Broc,” Joe said. He moved to the rails and leaned down, elbows against the wooden surface. “That was exciting.”“Yeah. That fight with the rocket planes was kinda fun, but scary, then the airships. I’m glad no one was hurt,” I said.“It might have been a near thing. The Beaver’s a tough ship, but he still took a beating.”I cringed a bit. “I guess so. I really wish things had gone easier. Next time, I’m sure we’ll do better.”“So there will be a next time?” he asked.I nodded. “Definitely. Joe, I’m not the sort of bun to not do what I can to help people out. Sometimes, that means getting into a bit of trouble. Other times, that means flying halfway across the world to try and stop a war. And sometimes it’s risking hide and hare to clean some Evil roots. I want to be a good person, and that means acting on what I think is right.”Joe chuckled, his head bowing. “Yeah, I think I see that. At least you’re not all talk.”“Is it too much?” I asked while gesturing vaguely around us. “The adventures and the other crazy things we get us to?”“It’s a lot, yeah, but I think I can handle it for now. I still think the Scallywags and I will be heading out one day, but maybe... maybe we’ll do something similar? I don’t know. It feels wrong to do things when they’re not things that’ll pay you well. But it feels right to do things to help folk. I guess we might need to find some middle ground?”“You could join the Exploration Guild,” I said. Which reminded me: we hadn’t done much guild-related stuff in a while. Did they still owe us for that flower thing way back when? “They’d give you an excuse to move around a lot, meet new people, explore new dungeons.”Joe laughed. “I don’t know if I’m made for that kind of adventure. Just being on the Beaver is a lot for us already, I think. I can’t imagine doing what you and your friends do.”“I don’t think we do anything that weird, do we?” I asked.He shook his head. “You don’t realize how wild you are, all four of you.”Four of us? I suppose he was counting Bastion in our party. Which was probably fair. He was pretty close, and he had come on all the scarier adventures lately. “We’re just people trying to do our best,” I said. “Even if that sometimes means doing things that are scary.”“You’re all insane,” Joe replied with the certainty of someone that knew they were right. “But it’s not a bad sort of insane.”I pouted at him. I wasn’t nuts.Joe chuckled as he stood up and stretched his back. “Well, I’m getting back to work. Someone needs to organize our tools and such, and it sure won’t be Oda who does it. Keep us safe, captain.”“Have fun,” I said. “And don’t work too hard. Take regular breaks!” I called out.I felt like a bit of a hypocrite there. Breaks were for people who wanted to slow down.I wasn’t sure exactly what to do. It didn’t feel like a good time to start making noise. Maybe I could take a few hours to just... train things.A final glance around showed that things were pretty calm, all said and done, so I headed to the rear of the Beaver and down a level.I found Awen’s room empty; the girl was likely in the engine room again, or tinkering on her cool turret thing. Amaryllis’ room wasn’t empty. My bird friend was on her bed, face buried in some pillows and the rest of her laid out flat.“Uh,” I said.“I’m sleeping,” she said.“Are you sleeping... well?”“Yes, Broccoli, I’m sleeping well,” Amaryllis said into her pillows.“Do you need anything?”“I just spent a few hours negotiating after a very stressful morning. Not everyone is as capable as you at dealing with chaos.”She sighed and pushed herself up to stare at me from the corner of her eyes.“I desperately need a nap.”“Okay then,” I said. “Uh, nap well.”I stood around in the corridor of the ship for a moment, then sighed. Maybe I did have a problem. I couldn’t sit around and do nothing. If I could at least train, maybe, or help someone with something.I thumped a foot on the ground and stomped off to find something to do. I might, maybe, have a wee, tiny sliver of insanity in me, sure. But that was something I could bother with later. Right then and there, I needed a distraction.I’d find someone who needed a friend, or my name wasn’t Broccoli Bunch.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Four — Intercepted
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Four — Intercepted The Beaver held up well for the next couple of days. Thankfully, the weather stayed calm. We hit a bit of rain the day after leaving the Lonely Island behind, but it was a gentle rain, and while we were worried it might undo some of the stitching on our balloon, any damage we had to deal with was small.It probably helped that everyone was keeping an eye on things.“Land ho!” Clive called from above.I was in the lower deck, resting at the dining room table with my copy of A Guide to Manipulating the Essence, the book that I’d bought way back in Rockstack when I was still just a normal human girl looking for friends and adventure. The book made a lot more sense now that I knew how to cast a couple of spells, kind of like rereading a math textbook after having several lessons on the subject.I was thinking of maybe growing my repertoire of spells. Fireball and its variants were really cool and super useful, and of course I had Cleaning magic, but I was kind of limited in what I could do with just those two. Amaryllis was practicing her magic too. I think she was figuring out how to cast barriers and use her lightning magic in new ways.Awen had her Glass magic, which she was using to make stuff for her Wyrmgineer class. Those weren’t ordinary uses of Glass magic, I don’t think, but they were really neat.Bastion had given us a list of spells we should know, and I was still working on mastering those. The problem was I couldn’t practice Clean Wounds without wounds to clean (and that one was kind of a moot spell to learn anyway). Soften Earth required earth to soften, and Draw Water needed water to be drawn. We only had so much fresh water aboard and I didn’t want to spill it all over while practicing.So I was caught reading about the magic instead of practising it.“Land ho!” Clive called again.I snapped my book shut and stood up with a stretch. Time to go see what all of that was about!I arrived on deck and found I wasn’t the only one coming up to see what was ahead.The mountains of Sylphfree had been visible for a while already. They were hard to miss, rising over the horizon. Big jagged walls of pale grey stone, with a few clouds hovering around the tallest peaks.Now, though, we were close enough that a glance down revealed the shores where the ocean beat against the foot of the mountains, great big splashes of water surging into the sky every time a new wave came in.The shore stretched on for a long, long ways, so far that it was nothing but a hazy line on the edge of the distant horizon.“Over there,” Bastion said.I glanced over to the sylph, then followed his pointing hand towards a site further along the shore. The mountains receded a little, and in the middle of the basin there was a small patch of forested land with a strong river.I wouldn’t have noticed the village tucked away in the valley if Bastion hadn’t pointed it out. It was hard to see from afar, but there was definitely a small settlement nestled there, with tall walls of the same colour as the mountainside hiding it all away.Clive spun the wheel, and soon we were heading straight for the settlement.“Alright, everyone, let's take it slow and steady! We need more sails out!” I shouted as I jumped back into the role of captain.A few airships rose from within the distant village and turned to fly our way, but Bastion seemed at ease, so I didn’t worry. By the time we’d cut the distance to the village in half, the airships were circling around in formation to come up next to us.They were strange, boxy looking ships, mostly made of steel with sharp edges, held together by large rivets. Their balloons were fairly small, and it looked like they had two each.Most interesting was the large ballista at the front, and the two smaller ones mounted onto long arms that jutted out of the ship’s sides and that swept down a ways. The sylphs manning those ballistae were all dressed up in thick coats with goggles and scarves on. I imagined they got a little cold when at higher altitudes.“Hold us steady!” I called back to Clive as I ran to the side of the ship nearest the approaching airship.Their pilot was pretty good, because they came close while slowing down to match our speed nearly exactly. A trio of sylphs in light armour jumped off of their ship, and with wings beating hummingbird-quick, they glided over to the Beaver and landed on deck.“Hello!” I said. “And welcome aboard the Beaver Cleaver. I’m Broccoli Bunch, the captain.”Of the three sylphs, two were carrying short spears, with swords hanging by their hips, while the third was carrying a far more terrifying weapon: a clipboard. “Greetings,” he said as he bent over his board and scribbled something down. “One moment, I need to... Beaver... Cleaver. Two words, yes?”“Yup!” I said. “You look like you have a lot of questions to ask.”“Oh, I do. You’re in restricted airspace. Do you have a permit?”“A permit for what?”“Then that’ll be one fine to add, not to mention another fee for the inspection. Are you attempting to reach Granite Springs?”“I don’t know where Granite Springs is. Is it the little town over there? Where your ships came from?” At his nod, I went on. “In that case, I guess? We took some damage to our balloon. We’ve patched it up as best we can, but there was only so much we could do. If your town has a place for us to land and get repairs, then we’d love to stop by.”“Granite Springs should have the facilities to care for such a small vessel,” he said.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.“That would be nice,” I said.The sylph made a few more marks on his clipboard, and I slid up to my tippy toes to see over the edge. He noticed and pulled it back.It was a little rude to write stuff about people without telling them. “Yes, well, there is a clause that would allow a vessel, operating in good faith, to use a port in an emergency, but I don’t think you’re currently in an emergency state.”“Well, it’s less an emergency, more... a bad need for repair. I don’t know where the next nearest airship port is. In the Trenten Flats, maybe?”He winced. “Yes, I suppose I could justify that as a good reason to land, though there is an emergency landing fee.”“Perhaps I can clear some of that.”The three sylphs tensed as Bastion walked over. He had his arms by his sides, and looked entirely casual. I noted that he was back in his full armour, minus his helmet.“Sir Paladin,” the clipboard-wielding sylph’s feet clicked together and he stood straight, hand snapping into a salute.“Paladin Bastion Coldfront,” Bastion introduced himself. “Forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. I thought I’d leave some of the minutiae to the captain.”“Of course, sir.”“Now, what was this about an emergency fee?” Bastion asked. “The ship was damaged while carrying out duties any paladin ought to do in the pursuit of justice. I think we should at least treat the vessel with respect.”“I, yes, sir, but, well, the vessel is... extremely bright. And colourful. It doesn’t seem very, ah...” He gestured around, at the two duck figureheads, then at our very bright balloon above.“No one would suspect a thing, you mean,” Bastion said with a nod. “Good observation, lieutenant. Do keep it to yourself.”The sylphs snapped to salute. “Yes, sir!”“Now, carry on. The captain doesn’t have a flight path that I know of, and there are fees incurred from that.”“Oh! I think we do have one!” I said. “Wait, let me go get Amaryllis!”Amaryllis, being the organized sort of girl she was, had a whole file with our flight plans and such in it. There was a system in place where-like the banks-papers could be sent between ports. Which meant that Sylphfree did know that the Beaver Cleaver was coming, though we were a teensy bit off with our time estimate.“Here you go!” I said as I bounced back to the sylphs and gave them the plan.The one with the clipboard looked it over, his eyebrow rising. “This paints you as... two days outside of your intended arrival time.”“Oops?” I tried. “We had a few little detours. But they were fun! We fought pirates, then we fought these other airships, and then we kinda crashed on the Lonely Island, but we managed to use the airships we downed to fix the Beaver back up. Also, we got a bit off track a few times. People needed help.”The sylph officer blinked, then looked at his clipboard. I wondered if there were any checkboxes for the kinds of adventures we’d been on. I don’t think he found anything because he looked up at Bastion, who was just staring with a polite smile, and then he started sweating a lot.“Yes, well, of course. Um. I'm sure the fee for adjusting your flight plan to accommodate for a slight discrepancy is much more manageable. Let me just... uh, yes, that can be done. Will... will we be inspecting the ship?” This he asked directly to Bastion.“Of course. It’s your duty to look over every inch of the vessel for any sort of contraband.”“Do we have anything illegal on board?” I asked.“No, we don’t,” Bastion said.“Oh, good.”The sylph with the clipboard stared a little, then seemed to shake off whatever was holding him back. “Well then, maybe we can start our inspection with this top deck and work our way down? Then... back up on the other deck?”“Sure thing,” I said. “Do you want me to guide you around?”“That would be appropriate,” Bastion said. “Barging into the rooms of the noblewomen onboard without the captain as escort would be highly suspect.”“Noble— well, yes, captain, I would appreciate an escort.”I grinned big and proud as I gave the inspector a tour of the Beaver. I made sure to introduce them to everyone on board, the Scallywags, our harpy crewmates, and, of course, my friends. He took notes as he went, though he seemed a little confused on where to put Grand Admiral Orange since she didn’t fit neatly into any of his charts.The sylph seemed impressed by Awen’s engine room, even if I was cringing inside at how disorganized it was. He was less impressed when he discovered Awen’s turret emplacement inside the hull.Seeing her bedroom a few minutes later made him reconsider. It was clean, because I wouldn’t not have a clean room on my ship, but Awen had a habit of leaving her stuff all over, and underthings on the floor was never impressive.That somehow cemented the idea that she was a noble in the sylph’s mind though. Amaryllis’ being herself proved that she was a noble too. She was particularly snooty today.“And that,” I said as we huddled in the bathroom—which didn’t actually have a bath—“is the whole ship!”“Do you have any hidden compartments?”“Like smugglers? Oh, that would be cool.”“I’ll take that as a no,” he replied with a sigh. “That concludes my inspection, I think. Shall we return to the main deck, I’ll signal our ship ahead, and we can guide you into port.”“That sounds wonderful,” I said.I wasn’t sure what to expect of Sylphfree, but regardless of how things turned out, it was nice to finally arrive after such a long voyage.I was almost shaking at the prospect of making so many more friends!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Five — Buniver's Travels
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Five — Buniver's Travels Granite Springs was, according to Bastion, a small and secluded town in Sylphfree. It was along the southern end of the country, next to the ocean, and as airships had become more common, shipping over water had declined.I couldn’t really tell if it was becoming less prosperous as we hovered over the town, the Beaver being guided over to a waiting berth in the airship docks at the rear of the town.The sylph airships peeled off as soon as we tossed ropes over the sides and the sylphs working at the docks tied us in place.“I need to give my assessment to the port authority,” the officer sylph said as he tucked his clipboard under an arm.“It was a pleasure having you aboard,” I said as I leaned down to shake his hand. It was easy to forget how small most sylphs were. Bastion was a pretty tall one, and he barely reached my shoulder. The officer and the two guards with him were a bit shorter. I think I’d met children who were taller.That only meant baby sylphs had to be absolutely teeny tiny!The officer exchanged some pleasantries with Bastion, then bowed before fluttering off the side of the Beaver and over to the docks.“Alright!” I said once the deck was cleared of strangers. I clapped my hands together for attention. “We need a plan.”“That shouldn’t be too complicated,” Amaryllis said. “We find someone who can repair the Beaver’s balloon. I imagine a proper port like this has at least one company that does repairs. The port authority should know.”“That means that we won’t be able to use the Beaver to head deeper into Sylphfree until it’s repaired though,” I said.Bastion shook his head. “That might not be an issue.” He pointed off the side of the ship and to a flagpole standing proud above a building in the centre of the town. It was a big, square struicture, very utilitarian, and made entirely of pale grey stone. There were three flags on display: I kinda recognized the flag of Sylphfree, but the other two didn’t tell me much. One had a grey square in the middle of a two-toned background, pale blue above and white below. The other was a checkered grey-orange flag.“I don’t get it,” I said.“The bottommost flag, under the town flag, is a warning. The area is on a middling alert level. That means more guards will be posted in cities and towns, some soldiers will be pulled from reserves, and travel will be restricted.”Amaryllis huffed. It was a very unimpressed sort of huff that basically said “well, we’d do that better where I’m from.” “Of course the sylphs have flags to tell them how they’ll be oppressed today.”“So,” I said as I decided to ignore that comment. It was best not to start an argument. “We can’t fly the Beaver to the capital.”“Not without the sort of permissions I wouldn’t be able to obtain,” Bastion said. “There should be some vessels heading to and from Goldenalden. Food and materials still need to be moved, and people as well. Besides, the mountains are treacherous for inexperienced pilots.”I glanced to the north, where the mountains rose up and up above us. They weren’t the biggest mountains I’d ever seen. That definitely went to the Harpy mountains. But they were dense. Just a lot of peaks rising up every which way.I imagined the wind between all of those peaks would be tricky, and unless ships could move over the mountaintops, they would have to twist and turn around the peaks. That wouldn’t be easy. The Beaver was a fairly light ship, and he could only go so high. It got really cold, and the air grew thin past a certain height.“So we’re going to have to leave the Beaver behind?” I asked.“It’s not that bad,” Amaryllis said. “It will limit our options, but not overly, and we can leave most of the crew here to guard the Beaver while repairs are being made.”“I guess,” I said.It would be a bit strange to leave the Beaver behind. Sure, we hardly stayed on the ship while out exploring, but it was always nearby, our home that we carried with us. Or rather, that carried us.But if we didn’t have a choice, then that was that. And it wasn’t like we’d be gone for a long time. “So who do we bring with us?” I asked.“The usual away team.” Amaryllis said. “Myself, you, Awen, and Bastion, of course.”“Let’s ask around, make sure that everyone is okay with staying. And then we need to pack our things.”“I doubt we’ll find a ship leaving this evening,” Bastion said. “Most shipping happens in the morning and early afternoon. You can reach most other places in Sylphfree with half a day’s flying from the capital. Flying at night is dangerous.”“I can imagine,” I said. All those mountains would serve as obstacles to anyone flying with the sun down. “We do need to go out and find a ride for tomorrow though.”“We hardly need the whole crew for that,” Amaryllis said. “I’ll head over to the port authority, sign off on our berth.”“Bring a human with you,” Bastion said. “I... don’t wish to doubt my fellow sylph, but you might find that there’s some animosity towards harpies here.”Amaryllis harrumphed. “Typical. Though... I suppose we’re no better. I’ll bring Awen then. She’s reasonable, at least.”I nodded. “So, that’s the plan?”“We also need food. Not for those of us leaving, but for the rest of the crew. Though I suppose I could leave some gold aboard for them to purchase things once we’re gone,” Amaryllis said.“That sounds fine,” I said. “Bastion, did you want to come exploring with me? I don’t think we’ve been on that many adventures, just the two of us!”If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.“Certainly,” Bastion said.Grinning, I ran off to gather a few things. Last time I’d gone wandering in a new city, I was ambushed by giant laser-firing crystals. Let it never be said that Broccoli Bunch doesn’t sometimes learn her lesson. Once I had my turtle shell hat on, a small pack with a few essentials, and a pouch with some coins, I picked up my warspade and ran back onto the deck to find Bastion waiting on the dock in his full paladin regalia.“I’m ready!” I cheered as I hopped over the rail and landed next to him.“I can see that,” he said. “I’m not certain if people would appreciate seeing someone armed on the streets.”“Armed? You mean my spade? I guess I can leave it behind,” I said. I only took a hop to return to the Beaver and tuck my spade away. “Better?” I asked as I returned.“Quite,” Bastion said.“So, where are we going first?”“I thought we only had one destination?”I pouted. “Well, yeah, but you know how much I love detours. We could make new friends, meet new people. Maybe grab a bite to eat?”“I suppose. In either case, we should get moving.”I nodded, and soon enough both of us were walking along the docks towards a tower off to one side. The port was made up of a dozen berths for airships, with what looked like docks that could be moved from side to side to accommodate ships of different sizes. There were towers on either end, with exits at their bases leading onto an empty field.It looked as if the sylphs were clever enough not to build anything under the space ships would occupy, which only made sense. A tool could fall and bonk someone on the head.My head was on a swivel as we moved, taking in the other ships and the people aboard them. They were all boxy, metal-clad vessels (ironclads?), smaller than the Beaver and with a few more balloons. At least, those that were nearest. On the other side of the port were a pair of larger ships, with the flag of Sylphfree on their bows and bigger ballistae on their decks.Every ship was manned by sylphs, and no matter how much I looked, I couldn’t see anyone who wasn’t a little person with big wings.“Aren’t we going to visit the other ships?” I asked.“No, that’s not how things work here. Most of these ships look like merchant vessels, the cheap, faster sorts. The crew on board won’t have any authority to take on passengers.”“Oh. That’s weird. Don’t they have captains?”“Yes, but only in the sense that each ship has a person who leads its crew. The captains of most ships aren’t the owners of those ships.” He pointed to the hull of a nearby ship where a logo sat, a big flower I vaguely recognized as a snapdragon. “That one and the ship next to it are owned by the same company. You’ll notice most transport ships are similarly owned by one company or another.”“Instead of having them owned by their captain who then picks up stuff,” I said. “That’s not as cool.”“I suppose it isn’t, but it might be more efficient. Sylphfree policy is big on efficiency.”We reached the tower, and I was surprised to find a basket elevator within. We clambered aboard, and Bastion lowered a lever that had us dropping down.“So, if we can’t just ask the captains nicely, where are we going?” I asked as I enjoyed the sensation of falling.“I took note of which company owned which ship,” Bastion said. “Their headquarters in town should have something in place to offer transportation to civilians.”The elevator thumped onto a cloth pad at the bottom, and Bastion raised the lever he’d pulled down, which locked the basket in place so we could climb out.Once we were out of the tower and back under the sun, Bastion took a moment to look around before gesturing ahead. “This way, I believe.”“Have you been here before?” I asked.“In Granite Springs? Only a couple of quick stops. Did some training with the army by the coast. Learning how to swim is part of our training.”Made sense to me. “So you know your way around?”“The stops were hardly comprehensive,” Bastion said. Soon we’re walking down what I guessed was one of the town’s main roads. It was very strange to be the tallest person around. I was used to Bastion being shorter than me—I hardly even noticed it anymore—but to be taller than everyone down an entire street...Worse were all the stares. Little sylph kids, who really were tiny, looked up to me with mouths opened wide in big Os and the more adult sylphs were quick to scamper away.I was probably very intimidating. With my ears straight, I was nearly twice as tall as some of the sylphs we were walking past.At least no one seemed really afraid, and Bastion got some looks too. People pointed at him, some turning to friends before they whispered things.“Do people stare at you like this a lot?” I asked.“It happens often enough,” Bastion said. “I’m a paladin. We’re not exactly rare, but it's uncommon for us to be seen in such a small town, and unfortunately, we're usually chasing trouble. I wouldn’t call Granite Springs a frontier town, but it’s certainly not the most prosperous place within the kingdom.”“It seems nice,” I said. The homes were all neat and clean, pale stone-granite, I guessed-and tall, with balconies on the topmost floors.They also had really, really small doors. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to squeeze into them without bending over double to avoid bonking my ears against the doorframes.“This is the place,” Bastion said as he stopped before a larger building.I glanced up at it, taking in the same flower logo I’d seen on some of the ships at port. “Neat! Lead the way, Sir Paladin Bastion.”Bastion chuckled, but he did step ahead.
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Six — Paladin Business
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Six — Paladin Business I realized that I was going to have a slight but persistent problem if I spent any amount of time in sylph cities.The sylphs were small, so they built things according to their own sizes, which made perfect sense. Unfortunately, that meant whenever I followed Bastion into a room, I had to duck my head down or I’d risk bashing it into the doorframe.Bastion looked at me with a perfectly straight face, but there was no hiding the way his eyes were crinkled up at the corners and the suppressed chuckles he was holding back.I pouted as I rubbed my forehead. “No fair,” I muttered.“I suppose you’ll grow used to it. I certainly learned to live with everything being just a little too tall for me outside of Sylphfree.”That was... probably fair. It would be hard to build a building that was accessible to every species on Dirt, I imagined. Though it wouldn’t have hurt if they made the doors just a bit taller. My ears were getting sore from getting whapped all over.“Sir Bastion?”Bastion and I both turned.We were in the offices of a company called Snapdragon Transportation. They had, according to what I’d picked up, a whole fleet of ships that travelled from one city to another within Sylphfree and delivered goods and transported people around. Their lobby was near, with little model ships in glass cases, and a few plaques on the walls, but they didn’t have a big waiting area or anything, so I figured they mostly did business with other businesses, not normal people off the street.Not that Bastion seemed to count as normal. “Hello,” Bastion said. He extended a hand to the sylph who had just walked in, and they shook. The secretary seemed a little nervous.“Is there any way I can help you, Paladin Bastion?” he asked.Bastion nodded. “We’re looking for passage to the capital,” he said. “Myself, the captain here, as well as two others.”“I see, of course, Snapdragon Transportation would be honoured to serve the nation by providing our services at no cost,” he said with a bow.“No, no, while my own business does draw me back to the capital, I believe the captain and the others with her will want to pay for their fare. I imagine that there won’t be any difficulty housing a human and a harpy all the way to the capital?” Bastion asked.The secretary blinked. “A harpy? I mean, yes, of course. We would never discriminate. But, ah, is this harpy... civil?”“Most of the time,” I said. “She’s a harpy noble, though, which I think she uses as an excuse to act up a bit.”“Ah, yes,” the secretary said with the tone of someone who didn’t know what he was agreeing to. “In either case, we have a ship leaving for the capital in the morning, the Little Atlas. The captain will be informed of your arrival.”“Thank you,” Bastion said.We picked up some papers, including an invoice that I’d have to give to Amaryllis for her to take care of, then Bastion wished the secretary a good afternoon.“Where to next?” I asked as I remembered to duck under the doorway.“Back to the ship,” Bastion said. “Or maybe not.”I blinked, then looked down. There was a small group standing before the business, some five sylphs, all of them in armour. Thick leather covered their chest and shoulders, fitted snugly over chainmail with what looked like thin gambesons underneath. They had hard-leather helmets, and little spears by their side, all except for the one at the fore.Bastion nodded to them. “Greetings,” he said.“Sir Paladin,” the one at the front of the group said. His helmet had a red band around it, and he had a similarly red ring around both forearms; otherwise his armour was identical to the others’. “Please, forgive us for the intrusion, but we heard that a paladin was in Granite Springs, and we wished to confirm it.”“I am, in fact, here,” Bastion said. “Is there anything I can assist you with, guard captain...”“Captain Ward, sir,” the sylph said with a bow of his head. “And, well, I wouldn’t want to impose upon the time of a paladin.”I fidgeted. I kinda wanted to say hi and introduce myself, but there was a very official tone to things, and it would be rude to just barge into the conversation.“I have some time, “Bastion said. “I’m leaving Granite Springs in the morning, but if there’s anything that requires a paladin between now and then, I can look into it.”“That would be wonderful, sir,” Guard Captain Ward said. “We have a small issue right now. Nothing that’s big enough to call for a paladin from the capital, and certainly not big enough to call in the army, but, it’s an issue all the same.”Bastion nodded. “Tell me about it, then,” he said.Captain Ward looked past Bastion and to me. I waved. “Can we talk about it in... current company?”One of Bastion’s eyebrows rose. “You mean Captain Bunch here? I trust her, for what it’s worth. Is the issue that sensitive?”“No, sir,” Guard Captain Ward said. “It’s nothing of great worry, but it is... somewhat complicated. I’m certain we could take care of it on our own, given some time and effort, but, well, you’re a paladin.”I looked past the five guards and noticed that a lot of people were looking our way. Some of them seemed very curious about me, so I smiled their way, and made faces at any kid sylph whose eyes I caught.Bastion nodded. “Very well then, what’s the nature of the issue?”“We have a large number of moles living nearby. A small colony of them. They’ve never been problematic before, no more than usual at least. Some of the local farmers are even on friendly terms with them,” the Guard Captain said.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.“That’s rather common,” Bastion said. “They’re helpful people, in their own way. Though they have caused trouble elsewhere before.”Captain Ward nodded. “They’ve started doing just that here. Their leader is threatening to dam the river running through the centre of the town. We can’t have that.”“That’s strangely antagonistic,” Bastion said. “Do you know why?”“Can’t understand what they’re saying at the best of times, sir,” Ward said. “We were thinking of gathering up a group of guards to go knock some sense into them, scare them away from the edges of the river before they cause any actual damage.”“What are moles?” I asked.The Guard Captain jumped, but Bastion didn’t seem to mind the question.“The molefolk are a people who are native to the region, as are the sylph. They live at the base of the Sylphfree mountains while the sylph commonly live nearer to the peaks. For the most part, our relations have been peaceful. They have underground farms, are largely self-sufficient, and are rarely seen too far from their burrows.”“They sound like nice neighbours,” I said.“Usually, yes. We’ve traded with them before. They are better miners than most sylph, and can sniff out mineral deposits. In exchange we give them tools and equipment they can’t manufacture. Nevertheless, our societies are separate. The sylph don’t do underground living well, and the molefolk don’t like spending too much time in the open. They have too many natural predators and poor eyesight.”I nodded. “Well, if all you need to do to help the molefolk around here is a chat, then maybe I can help.”“Forgive me for asking, Captain... Bunch?” Ward asked. I nodded when he got my name right. “But how would you assist?”“I’ve got a knack for languages,” I said.“The good captain here speaks and picks up languages easily,” Bastion said. “I don’t speak the molefolk’s common tongue, though I can likely communicate a little. Captain Ward, would you be willing to lead me to the river that they're damming? Maybe I can assist.”“I’ll come too,” I said. “I don’t think I have anything else to do until tomorrow anyway.”“If you wish,” Bastion said.The guards seemed pretty happy to have a paladin aboard, and so with Guard Captain Ward in the lead, we were escorted across town and towards the northern end, past the airship docks and towards the walls.“So, being a paladin is a big deal, huh?” I asked.“I imagine it is,” Bastion said. “There aren’t that many paladins in Sylphfree, mostly owing to the difficulty in the training and the methods by which potential recruits are chosen. A lot of soldiers apply to become paladins, but maybe one in every thousand earn the rank.”“That’s impressive,” I said.“Thank you,” Bastion said.“What about the nine-hundred ninety-nine who fail? I bet they feel terrible.”“I imagine there’s some disappointment, but most of those fail early. Even failing out of the course isn’t a bad thing. The training looks good on a young sylph’s training chart. If they plan on becoming officers, or obtaining a more prestigious role, then the initiative to become a paladin is a mark in their favour.”“Huh,” I said. I wasn’t used to that kind of thing, but it sounded reasonable. I wasn’t sure if I'd manage in that kind of environment though. I didn’t like competitive things all that much.Guard Captain Ward stopped at a gatehouse next to an opening in the wall leading out into the countryside, and we waited for a moment as he ran in and spoke to someone. Soon enough, the gate was rattling as it rose off the ground.“Are there any procedures you want us to follow, sir?” the guard captain asked. “I can get some more men to follow us out. I doubt the moles will try anything, but if they do, it would be better to have more wings at our back.”“I suspect we’ll be fine,” Bastion said. “This is just a little detour. Though... perhaps inform the garrison? If we do run into trouble, it would be nice to know that help isn’t too far away. A bit of caution never hurts.”“Yes, sir,” Ward snapped with a quick salute. He moved off, sending some of the guards scurrying around the gates with quick orders.A wagon rolled up nearby, just a flat-bed with some benches in the centre, the wheels small and the entire thing fairly low to the ground. It was obviously meant to carry people, not stuff.The sylph directing the wagon behind two small ponies hooked the reins on a stirrup on his bench, then jumped off, letting a guard take his place. “Are we going to ride over?” I asked.“Seems that way,” Bastion said. “Guards have armour that’s encumbering and often heavy enough to make flight somewhat difficult. It’s meant to be easy to remove, in case of a chase, but that doesn’t always help. So for a long trek, a wagon is a nice luxury.”“That makes sense,” I said. “I’m going to go say hi to the ponies.”“I... yes, sure,” Bastion said.The ponies were called-according to the sylph that had led them over-Red Five and Red Seven. I found those to be rather boring names for small horses, but they were very nice, and let me pat their noses after sniffing at my hand a bit.“Broccoli,” Bastion said as he jumped onto the wagon. A few more guards were climbing aboard, and the guard captain was sitting at the front.“Coming,” I said before hopping up and taking a seat next to Bastion.“I hope you don’t mind the little detour,” Bastion said.I snorted. “Are you kidding me?” I asked. “Bastion, you know I live for adventures like this. Besides, it’ll just be a few minutes. A bit of talking and some meeting the locals. Nothing hard, I bet!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Seven — Dam It All
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Seven — Dam It All The cart rattled and bounced across the road. It was too low to the ground to have room for suspension, which really sucked. Every rut and bump in the otherwise decent road made me jump up, and then I crashed back down with a heavy whump.My bum was going to be so sore.“So,” I asked. “Where are the mole people living?”Guard Captain Ward leaned back a bit. “They live underground, usually. Some of their villages are open to the air though. They have walls most of the way around, with nets over the tops of their villages.”“Nets?” I asked.Bastion answered that one. “The Sylphfree mountains are home to these vicious creatures called amphipteres.”“What are those?” I asked.“They’re long, snakelike creatures with wings. They’re the offspring of a dragon and a non-dragon. Cunning, in their own base way, and aggressive. We fight them off when we can, and destroy their nests whenever possible. They don’t attack sylph as often though,” Bastion said.“But the mole people don’t like them,” I guessed.“The issue is that the amphipteres like the mole people. More specifically, the way they taste. Mole people have poor eyesight. They have other senses to make up for it, but they’re vulnerable to attacks from above, and often can’t react to them.”“And the sylph can?” I asked.Ward laughed. “We can show those flying snakes what for,” he said. “A few good guards with sharp senses can scare one off easily. A few arrows, a magical attack or two, and they’ll fly off to find easier prey.”“They’re still dangerous,” Bastion said. “Especially when cornered. They can strike quickly, and some have natural magics to lean upon. Their draconic ancestry means their breath is dangerous. Children have been snatched away in the middle of smaller towns before.”I gasped, a hand moving over my mouth. “That’s awful!”Bastion nodded. “It’s why we keep their population low, culling them when we can.”“They’re not smart?” I asked, just to be sure.“No smarter than a rabid dog,” Ward said.Well, I wouldn’t agree with ever hunting down a dog, but I could understand the sylph hunting the amphipteres if they were so dangerous. “So, the mole people live underground to avoid giant sky snakes. I guess that makes sense.”“It’s more than that,” Bastion said. He paused as we passed over some particularly bumpy bumps. “The mole people have cultural ties to the world, to the underground. They have a few dungeons deep under the earth as well. It’s where they’re meant to be. Having them out on open land or, World forbid, in the air, would be like tossing a dozen sylphs into the ocean and telling them to make do.”“I think I get it,” I said.I put my hands down onto the bench and pushed myself up a bit, absorbing some of the bouncing with my arms as I took in the countryside. There were little stands of trees here and there, all clumped up, with craggy, rock-covered spots between them.Birds flitted between the clumps of forest with eager energy and happy trills, and I even saw a grey fox slinking away in the distance.The further we journeyed from Granite Springs, the more the woods thickened, though the road stayed the same. A long, straight path, covered in loose white gravel. Soon we were crossing splits in the road that lead to little quarries busy at work.The road didn’t pass too close to them, I guessed because the walls around the quarry might collapse, and having the road near them would be dangerous. Still, I could make out sylphs, some operating boxy machines, others working to load up carts with big square-cut blocks of what I guessed to be granite.“So, is that why Granite Springs is called Granite Springs?” I asked.“It is,” Ward confirmed. “We’re one of the largest producers of rough-hewn stone in the kingdom.”“Isn’t all of Sylphfree mountainous?”“It is, but you can’t just dig a quarry anywhere. Not with the risk of landslides and erosion causing trouble in the future,” Ward said. “And the stone from here is quite unique. It has some magical properties that I’m not clever enough to really comment on.”I nodded. They seemed to care about the environment then, at least a little bit.We rattled past a cart pulled by two donkeys, loaded up with a few dozen granite blocks. The driver stared at us as we passed, then doffed his big hat when I waved.“That’s it, up ahead,” Ward said.I turned on my bench, then put a hand on Bastion’s shoulder for balance as I stood up. The road leading out of the town ran parallel to the river, though not closely. The river wasn’t as straight, and meandered around as it cut through the hilly landscape. We’d even crossed a nice little bridge made of the local stone at some point.That same river was wider ahead, with a few smaller rivulets flowing into it.The dam was impossible to miss.It was a wall of dirt and mud, three times as tall as I was from tippy-toes to ear-tips. The dam was unfinished; it only stretched halfway across the river, with a palisade above it. Not confined to the river, a large part of it was over land, serving as an ordinary wall. It didn’t look like a fortification capable of protecting anything bigger than a village though.“That’s more impressive than I was expecting,” Bastion said. “They’ve poured a lot of time building that up.”“We can take it apart in an afternoon, I’m sure,” Captain Ward said. “Packed earth isn’t that strong, and I think all they’ve used for reinforcement are tree trunks.”“Like a beaver dam,” I said.Ward nodded. “An order of magnitude larger, but essentially, yes.”“Captain, stop us a hundred paces from their gate,” Bastion said. “I think we’ll approach with just three of us.”The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.“Three will be enough?” Ward asked.Bastion nodded and stepped off the side of the wagon, his wings beating quick to slow his fall. “Three will be plenty. The goal is to avoid antagonizing them unless we don’t have a choice in the matter.”“They’re the ones building a dam,” Captain Ward said as he climbed down.I hopped off and landed with a bounce next to the two sylphs. “Maybe they have a good reason for it?” I asked.“Like what, starving Granite Springs?” Ward asked.I shook my head. “I don’t know. But I can come up with ideas. Maybe they know there’s going to be a big flood from above and they want to slow it down. Maybe they want to use the dam to make power. Maybe the river needs to be diverted to, uh, save their village or something?”Ward blinked. “Well, I suppose some of those are possible. If unlikely.”“As unlikely as otherwise peaceful neighbours building a large dam over a nearby river?” I asked.Bastion hummed. “Captain Bunch has a point,” he said. “It wouldn’t do to assume the worst without all the facts. So, let’s be cordial and find out what’s going on here.”The rest of the guards disembarked from the wagon, but they remained where they were. I didn’t envy them if they had to stand around and wait. The sun was nice and cheery above, but it was also warm, and there weren’t too many trees next to the road for cover.“Stay behind me,” Bastion said as he took the lead.Captain Ward grabbed a spear handed to him by one of his guards and used it as a walking stick as he walked next to me. He had a small round shield too; a buckler, I think.“Sir Bastion,” Ward asked as we made our way across the road. There was an entrance in the dam wall, a doorway above a trench with wooden planks held up by ropes. I was pretty sure I could jump the wall though.“Yes, Captain Ward?”“I wouldn’t question you before the guards, but is bringing the... civilian wise?”My ears perked. He was talking about me.“Broccoli can, surprisingly, hold her own.” Bastion looked back towards me. “Though, Broccoli, if things go bad, do take flight. This isn’t your fight, and I wouldn’t like to see you hurt here.”“I wouldn’t like to see you hurt either,” I said.He chuckled. “I can take care of myself.”He was a pretty good fighter. Probably... definitely the best one aboard the Beaver Cleaver.“Alright,” I said.There wasn’t time for more talk. A form shifted above the wall—a shortish brown-furred figure in a long coat with what looked like a gambeson under chainmail. He had a helmet on that looked a bit like a pith hat, and an elongated, pinkish face with beady little eyes.“Halt!” he called out. His voice was a squeaky thing, high pitched, as if someone was talking with their nose pinched.Bastion’s boots crunched to a halt, and we stepped behind him. “We’ve halted,” he shouted back.The mole person on the wall blinked, then squinted. “Oh, yes. Give me a moment!” he said before turning and disappearing out of sight.“I didn’t understand that last part,” Ward said.“He asked us to give him a moment,” I said.Bastion nodded. “Their language isn’t too different from the common tongue. But they have adapted it. Some sounds they can’t pronounce, and they use lots of jargon. I’m certain the captain here could understand them perfectly well, given some time to get used to their accent.”“It’s a bit squeaky,” I admitted.“I think it might travel well underground,” Bastion said.Three mole people appeared on the wall, including the one we saw a moment before. “State your business!” one of them said. His fur was black, and his armour was a lot more intricate. Something resembling full plate, with decorative work on the edges. He was hatless, but he did have a nice capelet.Bastion cleared his throat. “I am Bastion Coldfront, Royal Paladin of Sylphfree. I am here to speak with whoever is in charge. I come peacefully, with no ill intent.”The mole person stared at Bastion, and I couldn’t quite read his expression. His pals sniffled at the air, though, but that could have meant anything. “And who’s that with you, paladin?”“Hi!” I called out with a big wave. “I’m Broccoli Bunch! And I’m looking to make friends and meet cool new people!”Moley A. HoleyDesired Quality: Someone kind and friendly who likes avoiding beaches and who enjoys deep holes.Dream: To become the General of the Eastern Garrison.Holey seemed like a nice enough fellow.“I am Guard Captain Ward, of Granite Springs,” Ward replied after a moment. I was pretty sure he said that in his own language, but no one seemed to mind.“And what are two armed sylphs and a... long-eared human doing here?” Holey asked.“I’m actually a bun,” I corrected. “But I used to be a normal-eared human. Also, I’m not armed! I left my spade back on my ship.”“We are here to talk,” Bastion said. “Granite Springs is concerned about the construction you have here.”Holey huffed very mightily. “Then Granite Springs should have answered the letters we sent!” he sniped back.Bastion turned to Ward. “Did the molefolk send any letters to Granite Springs?” he asked.“None that I’m aware of,” was the reply. “And if they did, I would know.”Bastion nodded slowly. “Good sir, I believe we have a lot to discuss. It seems as if communications weren’t terribly clear, leading to... the current situation. Perhaps we could all parley? Preferably peacefully?”Holey eyed us all for a moment, then nodded. “Lower the gate!” he called out over his shoulder. “You three may enter. But no funny business!”“Well then,” I said. “Let’s go have a chat!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Eight — Diggy Diggy Hole
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Eight — Diggy Diggy Hole I looked up and around as we crossed the gate and walked into the little fortress next to the dam. The mole people had built walls all around with smaller buildings tucked up against them.There was what looked like a smithy to one side, with a bit of smoke puffing out from above, and a few buildings that I guessed were barracks. The people moving about were clearly part of two groups. There were the guards and soldiers, all wearing thick gambesons, and often carrying spears and swords, and then there were the workers, who wore simpler clothes and carried belts full of tools. They were moving stacks of bricks, seemingly fresh from a nearby kiln.The fortress had an opening in one wall, right up against the rear of the dam. A wooden walkway allowed mole people workers to carry wheelbarrows full of bricks over to the end of the dam where others were stacking them.Others were higher up, climbing over thick wooden scaffolds that allowed them to reach the top of the dam.I was surprised that so many of the buildings inside the wall were made of bricks, with the exterior wall being covered in packed mud. Maybe they were using the mud as a sort of additional barrier? Or maybe it would dry up and create a stronger wall? I didn’t know enough about construction stuff to guess.“Greetings,” Moley Holey said as he climbed down some steps and came to stand before us, his hands at his hips and a pair of soldiers at his back. “Welcome to Temporary Fort Moltain.”“It’s a very cool fort,” I said.Moley didn’t look impressed by my enthusiastic response. “It’s a simple fortress, but one that should serve its purpose.”“If you don’t mind me being so blunt,” Bastion said. “What is that purpose?”Moley stood a little taller, which brought his head even with my chin. “Fort Moltain is a defensive position from which we can build a dam.”“And why are you building a dam?” Bastion asked.The mole person sniffed. “As an offensive measure. Did you think we would sit back and ignore your lack of response? If Granite Springs won’t cease their actions against us, then we have no choice but to act against Granite Springs.”I noticed Captain Ward placing a hand over the hilt of his sword. “Did he just say they were going on the offensive against us?”I waved him down. “No, no, I’m sure there’s an explanation,” I said. “Right, Mister Holey?”“That’s General Holey,” the mole person said. “Perhaps you could introduce yourselves?”Bastion nodded. “I’m Paladin Bastion Coldfront, this is Guard Captain Ward, from Granite Springs, and this is Captain Broccoli Bunch. She’s an airship captain from outside of Sylphfree. Her translation and negotiation skills are why she is present.”“Hi!” I said.“Hmph, well, if that’s how the sylphs want to do things, more power to you. I, for one, don’t care for your lack of professionalism.”Bastion nodded slowly. “I’m going to be entirely honest with you, general. I don’t know why the mole people are building this dam. I can imagine it being quite harmful to the people of Granite Springs, though, and those people are, to some degree, my responsibility.”“Then you should have addressed our concerns months ago,” the general said.“What concerns? I’ve been in the area for less than a day. I’m unaware of what trouble your people are facing, and why harming Granite Springs would alleviate that.”The general looked at Bastion for a moment, then he turned beady eyes onto me. “Perhaps... Come.”With that, the general spun on his heel and walked across the open centre of the fort. Groups of soldiers paused to let us pass, and I felt the stares of curious molefolk workers as we moved towards a building on the other end of the fort, nearly opposite the dam.The general opened a doorway in a small building, revealing a staircase leading down into a dimly lit tunnel. “This way,” he said as he stepped down.I eyed Bastion, but he just shrugged a shoulder and followed the mole person in.I encountered a problem as I followed him in.I didn’t fit.Well, I could manage, but I had to walk with my back bent, and I had to grab a hold of my ears to make sure they didn’t scrape the ceiling. When we reached the first strut keeping the ceiling up, it got worse as I had to duck down below that.I was about to complain when something popped up before me.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the class skill: Proportion Distortion!“Huh?” I asked.“Is something the matter?” Bastion asked.“No, it’s just— ah!” I winced and cradled my head. I shouldn’t have looked up while crossing under another support beam. At least I was wearing my helmet, or else I’d have a bump.Proportion DistortionRank F — 01%The ability to fit in and fit out.What did that even mean? And why was the World giving me weird skills again?“Here we are,” General Holey said as he stepped in front of a door and pushed it open. It led into a small room with desks and a few mole people who looked up at our arrival. “Get me a map of the area,” the general demanded.A map was laid out on the table, and I moved closer so I could see it. My mind was still mostly on my new skill though. What did it even do? And why did I get it while trying not to bonk my head?“The letters and correspondence we sent to Granite Springs were all in relation to this,” the general said. He poked a long-nailed finger at a spot on the map. I glanced at it. The map was mostly topographic, with notes here and there. The place he was pointing to was a small town, or maybe a city. The details weren’t great. It was also, I noted, underground.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.“That’s the local mole person village?” Bastion asked.“That’s Dhigeyhole. A small outpost that’s grown into a full township,” General Holey said. “Nice and peaceful, with a fair guard and not much trouble besides. This”—he moved his finger to a spot next to the village—“is a quarry from Granite Springs, one that’s infringing upon Dhigeyhole. The quarry has caused a few cave-ins already, and we’ve had to evacuate a portion of the town.”I gasped. “That’s awful.”“It’s also a violation of the Dhigeyhole-Granite Springs treaty of sixty years ago,” the general said. “The entire thing only gets worse when you consider the lay of the land. The river downhill from here runs close to that quarry. One unlucky tremor and the river could be diverted into the quarry, and, with that amount of water coming to bear, it might well flood the entire town below.”“So that’s why you’re damming the river?” I asked.“We’re not just damming it, we’re leading it elsewhere,” he said.Bastion leaned over the map, hands grabbing at the edge of the table so he could look down at everything from above. “Captain Ward, did you ever receive anything from the quarry about this?”“I did not,” the Guard Captain said.“When did the quarry start encroaching on Dhigeyhole?” Bastion asked.The general hummed. “Two months ago? We noticed they were digging a little wider, but we initially suspected it was just a slight error: a poorly read map, a lazy surveyor. We addressed the mining company first, but they dismissed our claims. Then we started to protest in earnest, but we discovered the mining company was employing guards of their own.”“Guards?” Bastion asked. “For a mining company? Captain Ward, I find myself quite confused.”“I’m feeling the same way,” the guard captain said. “The quarry is run by Granite Springs, and the town guard is run by myself. There shouldn’t be any such deployment without my knowledge.”“Unless they’re not town guards,” I said.Ward nodded. “That’s possible. What do these guards look like? Do they have uniform equipment?”The general nodded. “They did. Similar to yours, but darker.”Bastion’s brows knit together in a frown. “Darker than standard guard armour. Did they have tabards?”“They did, Black, with orange trim.”“That’s the army,” Bastion said.“There was a division stationed in town. They’ve been active lately, but with the alert level higher now, I thought that was ordinary.”Bastion hummed. “Who did you contact about the quarry? You said you sent correspondence, but it’s clear it never arrived, or if it did, it was never delivered to the guard captain here.”“We sent it to the quarry first, then to the town, but our messengers were always intercepted by your army.”“That’s an issue,” Bastion said.“Can the army do that?” I asked. “For that matter, why would they be so mean?”“That’s a good question,” Bastion said. “They might have the authority to protect the quarry—it is run by the state—but to go as far as to basically start a conflict with the locals like this... That’s terribly unwise.”The general sniffed. “I received a letter once. Our only reply.” The mole person waddled over to a desk and tugged out a drawer. He returned with a letter, which he passed to Bastion.Bastion unfolded it, eyes darting across the page. “Major Springsong. I’ve never heard of them.... This letter says a lot of nothing.”“I was rather insulted by it, yes,” the general said.“Where is the army stationed?” Bastion said. “I can’t imagine they’re only staying within Granite Springs.”“There’s a camp next to town,” Captain Ward said. “I believe the major might be there.”“Is he the highest ranking officer?” Bastion asked.“No, there’s a Commander Warmwood who moved in a few months ago,” Ward said.I hummed. “Maybe we should go say hi to the commander then. They’re hurting the poor mole people.”“We are hardly poor, nor are we unable to care for ourselves.”I nodded, ears smack-smacking the ceiling. “Yes, but it sounds like you’re basically being bullied, which is never nice. We can’t just sit back and do nothing about it. Also, I want to visit Dhigeyhole. A whole town underground? I bet it’s really neat!”Bastion rubbed at his chin, then nodded. “General, may I ask a favour of you?”“You may ask; whether or not I grant it would depend.”Bastion nodded. “That’s understandable. I’m going to go meet the commander of the army in this region. I think he might have some things to answer for. While I do that, would it be possible to abstain from finishing the dam? I don’t want irreparable damage to be done because one person overreached.”The mole person general scratched at his furry neck. “I suppose I could have the workers shift to more preparatory work. It wouldn’t slow things down overly. But that would require I put my trust in you, paladin.”“I am a sylph of my word,” Bastion said. “And I give it to you when I say I will do everything in my power to ensure that this situation is resolved in a timely fashion.”“I’ll do my best too!” I said, my most serious face on.“Hmph, well, I suppose that’s something. You have until this evening. Then we’ll be finishing the dam and our sappers will be diverting the river.”“We’ll be quick about it, then,” Bastion said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Nine — Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better (Except for Hugs)
Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Nine — Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better (Except for Hugs) General Holey escorted us back out of the underground base. This time I was sure to keep my head ducked to avoid bonking my forehead against a beam again.Once we were out and back under the full light of the sun-there was a lot of blinking until our eyes adjusted-the general flagged down a mole person who looked like he was one of the workers, though he had a big sash over his chest that might have been a sign he was important.The general relayed a few quick orders, mostly telling the foremole to shift the focus of their construction for the next few hours, and that he’d explain more in a moment.He was doing his part of the agreement with Bastion.“I trust,” General Holey said as he turned back to us, clawed hands on hips, “that you’ll carry out your end of all of this?”“We’ll do what we can,” Bastion said. “As I said, my goal is to avoid conflicts, which, right now, means addressing your concerns.”The general nodded seriously. “I appreciate it, paladin,” he said before extending a hand to Bastion. My smaller friend grabbed it and shook.“See you later then!” I said.“Ah, yes, have a good afternoon, Captain Bunch, Captain Ward,” Holey said with a nod for the both of us.I waved goodbye. I wanted to hug him. He seemed very soft under all the armour. But we weren’t on those kinds of terms yet, and besides, he did have all those armoured bits in the way.The gate was lowered and we crossed back out of the wall, the general following us to the threshold. “Good luck, and may the skies remain clear above you.”“May Dirt keep you in its embrace,” Bastion returned with a small bow.Then we were off, heading back to the little wagon with the other guards on it. “That was well done,” Captain Ward said.“Just a day’s work,” Bastion said. “This situation with the army disturbs me. I can’t imagine their actions being approved by the brass.”“You think someone’s doing something they shouldn’t?” I asked. “I mean, other than how much the army shouldn’t be mean already. The way Holey described things makes it sound almost as if the molefolk are being bullied. I can kinda understand doing what the moles are doing, even if I know that being mean isn’t how you respond to someone else being mean back.”“I think that the local garrison has decided to ignore some rather important protocols at a time where doing such is even more irresponsible than usual,” Bastion said.“More than usual?” I asked. “Because of the war?”Bastion nodded, then cast a glance towards Guard Captain Ward, who was walking just a pinch stiffly. “I don’t mean to be rude, Broccoli, but maybe keep what you know about that to yourself for now. There isn’t a war yet, and hopefully there won’t be one.”“I understand” I said. “I can keep quiet... so, where are we going now?”Bastion considered it for a moment. “Captain Ward, I think it would be more expedient for you to visit the quarry. It isn’t too far from here. Maybe you can get some answers from there. Meanwhile, Captain Bunch and I will be visiting Commander Warmwood.”“That’s a ways away,” Captain Ward said.Bastion dismissed the concern with a wave of his hand. “I’ve been on a ship for some time, and while I did keep up with my training, there wasn’t much room for a good jog. The run will do me good. As for the captain... Broccoli, how would you like to race?”“A race? From here back to Granite Springs? I don’t know, I’ve never been really competitive.”Bastion shifted, his shoulders and back stretching under his armour. “That’s fine too, as long as we keep a good pace.”It would be fun to see how fast I could go. I liked running back on Earth, and I guess I’d done a lot of exercise since coming here. It would be cool to see how much faster I was. Plus, I had Way of the Mystic Bun, which used to have Hopping in it. That probably made me pretty fast. Rabbits were the symbol for speed for a reason... well, at least on lawnmower throttles. “Alright,” I said.Bastion grinned, then turned to the captain. “We’ll be back soon enough, I imagine. Stay near the quarry for a while. But if we haven’t returned by evening, contact the Palace.”Captain Ward saluted. “Yes, sir,” he said.Bastion stopped, then reached back while folding a leg and grabbed onto his ankle. He started to stretch, so I did the same.Or at least I tried, it had been a long time since I’d done any stretching, even if I knew it was important to do before exercising.“I’ll let you set the pace,” Bastion said.“Cool! I don’t know how fast I am now, so call out if you can’t keep up!”Bastion laughed. It was a very mean “as if you can outrun me” sort of laugh. I’d just have to prove him wrong.I knelt, planted my feet properly, bent my back a bit, then wiggled my rear to make sure everything was loose.Then I bounced.My feet hammered into the ground, shooting my forwards in a dead sprint that had my hair and ears flapping out behind me. Each step skipped me ahead a dozen paces, with my shoe hitting the ground with a solid stomp.I had to blink hard to keep the wind from blurring my vision, so I bowed my head and knelt into it. It was a weird way to run, more of a very fast skip than a proper sprint, but I was going really fast, the ground zooming past and trees blurring on either side of the road.I glanced back.Bastion was casually running a pace behind me, a small smile on his lips.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.I huffed and pushed myself harder.Bastion ran up alongside me. “So, you seemed surprised when we entered the base with the general. Did something occur?”I started swinging my arms; that always helped.“It... was... a... new... skill,” I said between pants.“Oh? What’s the skill? By the way, you don’t need that much stamina. Use it as you’re moving your leg, then in your thigh as you bring your leg back up. Let your body take care of most of it. The stamina you use should be to assist, not to do all the work.”I swallowed and tried to do as he said, then I wobbled and almost stumbled as my legs didn’t move as fast as I needed them to on the next bounce.“We don’t need to be moving this fast—a smoother pace would be a lot easier. Less strain, less risk of taking a fall.”Reluctantly, I slowed down. It was probably for the best. My breathing was already coming in hard, and my heart was ringing around in my chest like an alarm clock going off. “Okay, okay,” I said. It was probably going to be easier to talk at a quick jog anyway.“So, the new skill?”“Oh! It’s called, uh, Proportion Distortion.”Bastion hummed. “I’m unfamiliar with that one. What does it do?”“The description says it’ll help me fit in and out, but that doesn’t really help. I got it while I was following you and the general into that tunnel.”“Interesting.”“Is it rare, maybe?” I asked.“Perhaps. There is no doubt an order of magnitude more skills I haven’t heard of than skills that I have, so my ignorance here shouldn’t count as a surprise. Still, I’d venture a guess that it might be a skill that will make it easier for you to fit into tight spaces. I’m not sure why you’d specifically gain that skill though.”“That... sounds kind of useless. We live on an airship, not underground,” I said.“It’s been my experience that no skill is truly useless. The World isn’t so cruel as to give someone a skill they won’t need.”I pouted. That was a lie. I had Adorable still, and there was never a skill less useful than that. I’d have to see what Proportion Distortion turned into.“Once we reach the capital, maybe you could visit the library. There’s a section there with books entirely dedicated to skills, and there are some archivists who would love to have you describe any unique skills you have and what they do.”“That sounds practical,” I said. “They help people?”“Freely, yes. Certain skills are only unlocked while doing certain actions. The differences between two skills can be slight, but sometimes they can be fairly important. Sword Fighting Proficiency is greater than Swordplay Proficiency.”“What’s the difference?” I asked.“Fighting is more about the use of a sword in combat; play is inclined towards flashier, more complex movements. Swordplay is certainly more impressive, but if I were a betting sylph I’d put my coin on whoever had Sword Fighting first.”“Huh,” I said as I considered it. That made some sense. Some skills were likely very close in nature. What even was the difference between Cute and Adorable anyway? Other than the heightened insult.I think Bastion was trying to read my mind or something. “Getting rid of a skill is tricky business, but there are almost always a few combination skills available, and it’s sometimes worth losing a general skill for some time to get something that will combine with another skill you dislike.”“That would be great,” I said.I added “find a way to get rid of Adorable” to the top of my priority list.The road moved on, our pace never really slowing, even though I was chewing through my stamina with a point lost every couple of bounces. Once in a while I’d regain a point though, so it wasn’t all bad.Also, Cleaning magic meant I wasn’t sweaty or anything, which was a bonus.We arrived back at Granite Springs in good time, one of the guards by the gate running out to meet us with obvious concern. Bastion reassured him that everything was well, but then asked if we could have a small escort over to the military base, and if there was a way to talk to whomever was Captain Ward’s second-in-command.Things moved pretty fast after that. Bastion talked in quick, clipped tones with a couple of guards, then he relayed what we’d learned to a lieutenant in the guard who was told to go and repeat it all to the mayor.I stayed near Bastion the entire time, trying not to get in his way.I did spot the Beaver Cleaver parked above, still sitting pretty in his berth.Bastion gestured for me to follow him, and we made our way around the exterior walls of the city. They had a very small dip before the wall, not quite a ditch but almost. I wondered if that counted as a moat or not. If it did, it was a very disappointing one.“The base is... right there,” Bastion said as he gestured ahead.There was a section of the wall that looked a little newer, and that jutted out of the rest at a ninety-degree angle. A boxy protrusion on the side of the city, with a few additional towers and a second gate leading out onto a packed dirt road.A couple of rows of young sylphs were in the back, sweating under the sunlight while swinging swords up and down with dull monotony.“Can you clean off my armour?” Bastion asked. “If it isn’t too much trouble. We’ll need to be presentable for this next part.”“No problem,” I said, flaring my cleaning magic. “I’ll let you do the talking, you let me do any necessary hugging.”“Deal.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty — Chain of Command
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty — Chain of Command All it took to see the commander of the base was for Bastion to walk up to the front and politely-but firmly-say “I need to speak with Commander Warmwood.”No one questioned us, and even though we passed many soldiers, not one of them stopped us—though a few stared, of course. I was getting used to it. Not only was I not a sylph, I was also very much not a soldier. Bastion got his share of attention too, and a few salutes, though some didn’t seem as certain as others.The commander’s office was in the largest building of the headquarters, a place where we were brought to and told to wait while the commander prepared himself to receive us.“Any questions?” Bastion asked me as we both stood by the wooden door that blocked the way into the office.“Why did only some of them salute?” I asked.He chuckled. “Observant. As a paladin, I have no actual military rank. Also, as a paladin, I can give orders to the military and expect them to be... considered. It’s a strange position. No authoritative power, and yet some cultural power. It helps that most paladins were, at one time or another, in the military, most with some form of officer ranking. Though there are plenty of paladins from elsewhere. The guard, and some were outright civilians before joining.”“Neat,” I said. Bastion’s specialness really shone when he was in his own nation. “Do I have to address the commander in any special way?”“Refer to him as Sir Warmwood or Commander Warmwood. Be polite. Do... try not to hug him. Don’t salute. You’re not a servicewoman and I doubt you know how to salute properly besides.”“I’ll do my best, Sir Bastion, sir.” I said. I snapped a salute, one foot thumping down and ears bouncing as I brought a hand to my forehead.Bastion looked me up and down. “If you were my subordinate, I’d have you running laps to improve your form.”I grinned and lowered my arm just as the door opened. “Come in, please,” someone said from the other side.Bastion stepped in and held the door open for me.The office was about what I expected of an office. There was a large wooden desk, sharp and angular, with a big padded seat behind it and two more seats before it, much less padded and not nearly as comfy-looking. The table was mostly cleared, except for a small potted plant on one corner and an oil lantern on the other. Some papers were stacked neatly in the middle, a gilded fountain pen left next to them.I blinked as the person I guessed was the commander moved behind the desk.I’d never seen an old sylph before. Not really. Or maybe I’d seen a few on the streets, but I hardly had an excuse to stare, and it would have been rude. The commander was an older sylph, with a heavy brow covered in white bristles, and saggy jowls under a scraggly moustache that could have passed for a brush. His hair still had some black to it, the same colour as Bastion’s own, and he had eyes that were a darker green than Bastion’s.“Commander Warmwood,” Bastion said as he saluted.The commander nodded. “A pleasure to meet you, paladin.”“Paladin Bastion Coldfront, sir,” Bastion said.The commander turned and eyed me up and down, and I had to suppress the urge to salute. It almost felt as if I had to in his presence. “And you are?”“I’m Broccoli,” I said. If I couldn’t salute, I could at least smile.“This is Captain Bunch, of the airship Beaver Cleaver. Her ship is the one I used to come here, and the captain happens to be a very talented explorer with a few skills that might come in handy,” Bastion explained simply.“I see,” Commander Warmwood said. “Very well. Pleased to meet you, captain. I hope you find the base comfortable and that my men have acquitted themselves well.”I nodded. “Everyone’s been very nice so far,” I said.“Wonderful. Now, Sir Bastion, might I finally learn why I have a royal paladin in my office?”Bastion shifted, arms folding up in the small of his back and legs planting more firmly in place. “Commander, it has come to my attention that there has been some recent trouble with the local molefolk colony. The city guard became aware of my presence and asked me for assistance.”The commander nodded slowly. “That seems appropriate, yes.”“We discovered that the molefolk have begun to build a large dam, which might threaten the safety of Granite Springs. Diverting the river entering the town would cause some obvious issues. The damage to infrastructure, and potentially the health of the citizens here, definitely escalates the issue.”The commander straightened. “I see. I imagine destroying a dam would be a difficult task for a lone paladin, no matter how strong.”“Actually, I believe it would be possible to convince the mole people to deconstruct their new project. It would be a much safer alternative than outright destruction.”Commander Warmwood grinned. “Ah, a fine idea. Have them take apart their own tools of insubordination. That has a certain level of ironic charm to it.”“Wow,” I said. “You just keep jumping to all of the most violent possibilities.”The commander looked my way, confusion showing in the set of his bushy brow. “Pardon me?”“I don’t know. Every solution you have is very... hammer-y.”“What Captain Broccoli is trying to say, I believe,” Bastion cut in, “is that we have already come into contact with the mole people. Specifically, a General Holey, who is in charge of the forces at the dam. In situations like these, with possible diplomatic tensions on the line, I find it best to open a channel of communication between both sides before escalating to violence.”“I... see,” Commander Warmwood said. He moved around his desk and sat himself down on his plush chair. Then he gestured to the seats across from him. I took one, wiggling myself in place until I was comfy. “That’s reasonable. I’m beginning to suspect that I’m missing some key information here.”Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.Bastion didn’t take a seat, staying standing instead. “I believe that might be the case, yes. Though I also suspect that it’s through no fault of your own.”“Very well then, lay it out for me.”“From my preliminary investigation, one that I started only this morning, I believe the sequence of events is as such: A quarry operated by Granite Springs relocated some of its equipment and started to dig in a new direction. This direction happened to lead the quarrying work into an area over the mole people town. I haven’t observed the Dhigeyhole — Granite Falls treaty, but this might be a violation of it.”The commander sniffed. “So we started digging over their heads, did we?”“Indeed. They have evacuated a portion of their town, and seem ready to divert the river for fear that it will shift towards the quarry, fill it with water, and potentially harm their town,” Bastion said.Commander Warmwood leaned forwards, elbows on his desk. “Were you not a paladin I’d say that the entire story was a little far-fetched. But I imagine this is the kind of complication you’re meant to deal with.”“They’re not usually so simple,” Bastion admitted.The commander huffed. “Very well, you’ve convinced me that the military should intervene. It’s our duty to protect the citizenry, and I imagine this situation is beyond the ability of the guard. Do you have a plan, Paladin Coldfront?”Bastion nodded. “Thank you, sir. During my meeting with the mole person general, he mentioned that he had sent frequent requests to Granite Springs, but these were intercepted by the military.”The commander sat straighter in his seat. “What’s the meaning of that?” he asked.“I do not know how trustworthy the general is, but he seemed quite put out by the lack of response. I believe the attempts, at least, were genuine. He also mentioned a Major Springsong.”The commander’s upper lip twitched, a distasteful look crossing his features. “Oh, him,” he said before schooling his expression.This was all very exciting. My mom used to love watching court procedurals and detective shows; this felt like being in one of those, but live. It was kinda cool. “Do you know him?” I asked.The commander eyed me, then Bastion before replying. “I do. He’s not under my chain of command.”Bastion tilted his head to the side, just a tiny bit. A quirk, showing his confusion, maybe. “He isn’t? Forgive me, is there any other battalion in the region?”Commander Warmwood shook his head. “No, but you’re not a foolish boy—I imagine you can figure it out.”“The Inquisition, then,” Bastion said.I blinked. I hadn’t heard of them in a while. “Aren’t you part of the Inquisition?” I asked.Bastion shook his head, then paused and seemed to change his mind before nodding. “Technically, yes. The Royal Paladins of the Order of the World operate under the auspices of the Inquisition. I’m a paladin of the Royal Inquisition. So yes, on paper, I’m part of that organization. In practicality, we are different. The Inquisition itself is mostly concerned with internal matters, protecting the nobility and ensuring a proper functioning of the nation, whereas paladins serve to protect the royal family. We serve the King, Queen, and their offspring more directly. Which often entails conflict resolution on their behalf.”My head bobbed up and down. I’d understood most of that. “So, Major Springsong is an inquisitor.”“With a small platoon of soldiers under his command,” Commander Warmwood replied. “I knew he was out of the base with the majority of his troops, but I imagined they were doing training drills or the like. It isn’t too uncommon to use the wilderness here for that sort of thing.”“It seems like that’s not the case,” Bastion said. “Not unless it’s the most bizarre wilderness training I’ve ever heard of.”“No, I would suppose not,” Warmwood agreed. The commander tapped the top of his desk with his fingertips. “This is becoming more complex than I’d imagined. It’s not in my purview to go bother the Inquisition, not without good reason. On the other hand, the settlement I’m supposed to protect risks being attacked or at least damaged. That’s plenty ‘good reason.’ ”“But you’re still worried?” Bastion asked.Commander Warmwood nodded. “It’s unusual.”“Um, but we’re going to do something, right? We can’t just sit back, not when this might hurt the people,” I said. “We should go talk to this Major Springsong and see why he did what he did.”“That seems like a reasonable approach,” Bastion agreed. “I don’t imagine you know his exact location?”The commander nodded. “As a matter of fact, I do,” he said. The old sylph pushed off his desk and stood up. “I’m going to raise the alert level within the base by a notch.”“Are you certain?” Bastion asked.“I have the impression that no matter how things turn out, it will mean action,” the commander replied. “My bones might be growing old, but they’re old because I trust them when they ache like this.”Bastion nodded. “Very well then. If you could have someone point us in the right direction, then the captain and I will be off. I feel like we’ll be running ourselves ragged by the end of the day, trying to keep up with everything that’s going on.”The commander snorted. “Indeed. I’m glad you’re here, paladin. I can’t imagine what it would mean to learn all of this even a day later.”“Just doing my job, sir,” Bastion said. “I hope you don’t mind if I skip some of the formalities. I think we might be more pressed for time than I’d initially imagined.”“I understand. Good luck, paladin. And you too, captain.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-One — On the Back Foot
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-One — On the Back Foot “So, now what?” I asked as I followed Bastion out of the headquarters.The paladin paused, jaw working as he thought. “Are you certain you want to keep following me?” he asked. “This is becoming increasingly political.”“Is that a bad thing for me?” I asked. “I’m not about to let one of my best friends do something hard without at least trying my best to help him.”Bastion chuckled. “I should have figured you’d say something like that. Very well, our next step will be informing the guard of what’s going on. Then we move over to the quarry and find Major Springsong. I feel as if everything we’re dealing with leads to him in particular.”“Alright,” I said. We’d finally reach the person responsible for the entire kerfuffle. I hoped. If we reached Major Springsong and it turned out that it wasn’t them and that someone else was responsible then... “Is your job always like this?” I asked.“You mean running around, looking for fires, then stamping them out as best I can? Yes, that would describe a good portion of a paladin’s work. We’re often turned into errand boys, sent around to take care of things for the royal family where it wouldn’t be politically or practically possible for them to show up in person. We’re essentially problem-fixers with royal backing.”“That’s kind of neat,” I said. “The King and Queen must trust you a bunch.”Bastion nodded. “That’s one of the nicer perks, yes. It’s not every sylph that will even see their monarchs, let alone ever speak with them. The Royal Order is given a lot of trust, which also puts a lot of pressure on us. A mistake carried out in the name of the King is going to be very costly, no matter what.”I could imagine. That had to be pretty stressful. But then, I was sure Bastion managed it just fine. He was one of the coolest people I’d ever met.On leaving the headquarters, Bastion gestured towards the front gate, past more soldiers who were running laps around a small field. We weren’t halfway to the gate when I heard some shouted orders being tossed around, and soon the soldiers were snapping to attention and darting towards what I guessed was their barracks.“The alert level’s rising,” Bastion said.“What does that mean?” I asked. “I mean, I can guess, but I figure you know-know.”Bastion laughed. “It means the soldiers here have just gotten a day off from training. Now they’ll gear up and move on to one of the other things soldiers are good at.”“What’s that?” I asked.“There’s three things you’re taught to do as a soldier. Train, fight, and wait. Now they’ll have the rest of the day to wait.”The guards at the gate opened up the door for us, and we stepped out of the base and back out onto the packed-dirt road around town. A few guards were waiting for us there, and Bastion approached them to talk. I hung back a little bit.Today had been a lot of running around, and while it wasn’t quite as fun as some things, it still felt pretty nice. We were on a sort of adventure, but instead of the stakes being just... me and my friends having fun, they were larger.Then again, our last few adventures had been like that too, hadn’t they?I hadn’t really considered it, but more and more of our adventures were big, at least big in the sense that they were helping a lot of people with a bunch of things. That was... well, it wasn’t bad, but I had kind of set out expecting my adventures to only really be about me and a few friends. It was strange to think that more and more often our adventures were dealing with big, important things.“We’re ready,” Bastion said, snapping me out of my thoughts.I grinned at him and nodded. “Alright, let’s head out then.”The quarry was past the halfway mark between Granite Springs and the mole person dam, which meant our run wasn’t quite as strenuous. We’d also had a nice long pause to regain some stamina, though my legs were wobbly at first.Bastion set the pace again, not too fast, but not too slow, a bouncing jog that made us eat up the distance until we veered off the main road and onto the quarry road. We ran around the edge of a huge circular hole in the ground filled with water at its bottom.There were a bunch of buildings in the middle of the quarry, where carts pulled by donkeys were bringing big slabs of stone to the side of a workshop where some sylphs picked them up with chains and pulleys. On the opposite end, square-cut blocks were being stacked onto another long cart.Some of the buildings around looked like barracks, and there was an obvious kitchen to one side. Stables near the rear held the animals used to run the place, and there was a small building that looked like the headquarters for the entire place.Bastion led us across the quarry, walking with the certainty of someone who was definitely allowed to be there.The sylphs working at the quarry all seemed very strong, which was strange. They were still short, but short with big bulging arms. Most didn’t wear shirts, but nearly all of them had hard-leather caps that made their heads look like pins. A lot of them stared, but no one seemed inclined to move over and actually stop or ask us any questions.And then we were past the quarry and heading towards a small patch of woods not too far from there. An area with a small wall around it, and tents installed behind that.There were sylphs around who were all obviously soldiers, with black tabards over their gear, and spears held by their sides.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.They tensed as Bastion and I moved up the hill to meet them. “Who goes there?” One of them asked.“I’m Paladin Coldfront,” Bastion said. “I’m here to speak with Major Springsong, or whoever is in charge.”The soldiers looked at each other, then one ran off into their camp. I guessed that there weren’t more than fifty or so soldiers here, spread out across about half that many tents, laid out in neat rows. They had built a small wall, loose stones at the base with wooden posts above those, each ending in a rough-hewn spike.Bastion stood tall next to me, eyes fixed on the soldiers before us, who started to sweat a little at his unflinching gaze.Then the major showed up.I was expecting someone tall-for a sylph-in resplendent armour and maybe with the same bearing as Bastion. Instead, the major was a shorter sylph with a squinty look on his face, wearing shiny armour that looked half a size too big for him.He stared around, noticed Bastion and myself, then ran over with a blossoming smile. “Paladin Coldfront! It’s wonderful to see you, sir,” he said.“Hello,” Bastion said. He sounded like he was on the back foot. I guess the warm welcome was unexpected.“I didn’t expect your arrival so soon, but I’m infinitely grateful that you’re here. Please, follow me.” The major took Bastion’s hand, shaking it up and down in a hurry before turning around and walking into the camp.Bastion and I looked at each other, and I shrugged before we moved on after the major.The interior of the camp wasn’t anything too special. Tents were set in small circles around campfires, and the camp was laid out so that there was a wide lane down the middle which soldiers could use to move around. A larger tent stood at one end, with a pair of black banners hanging on either side of its entrance. The major stood there, with his back straight and features neutral, but he was also bouncing on the balls of his feet with nervous energy.“This is our issue,” the major said as soon as we walked in. There was a desk in the centre, with a pile of letters sitting atop it and a map across the surface. He shoved the letters to the side to make room to see the map. “There’s a monster living here," his finger stabbed down onto the map, "and we need it dead.”“One moment,” Bastion said. “I think you’re operating under a false assumption.”The major blinked. “Pardon?”“I’m not here to answer a specific request. I’m here investigating the issue with the mole people, especially with regards to the dam they’re building that’s risking Granite Springs.”“You’re not here for the dungeon?”“What dungeon?” I asked.There was a long silence as everyone in the tent took each other in. “... I believe that perhaps you are right, paladin—there has been some level of miscommunication here. I sent word to the capital three days ago, requesting assistance with a delicate matter. I had assumed you were the response.”“I understand that much,” Bastion said. “But unfortunately, no, I’m here because I was passing through. I heard there was an issue with the molefolk, and after tracking it down, I came here, to what seems to be the source of the issue.”The major’s face screwed up for a moment before his expression flattened. “The mole people have been causing me some level of distress, yes.”“Is that correspondence on the table letters from the mole people?” Bastion asked.The major glanced then, then back up. “That? Oh, yes, they are,” he said.I poked at the pile, moving some of the letters around. “Some of these are still sealed,” I said.“Yes, well, the concerns of some mole people hardly matter to the Inquisition.”“But these aren’t addressed to you,” I said.“They might hold information that would reveal what we’re doing here... Paladin, who is this bun?”“This is Captain Bunch. She’s outside of your chain of command,” Bastion said.“I don’t recall the army having buns in it,” the major said.“She’s an airship captain,” Bastion replied, which only seemed to confuse the major more. “And her concerns are valid. Are you aware of what the mole people are doing at this moment? For that matter, are you responsible for the quarry changing the location it’s digging in?”“I recall reading some base threats. And yes, of course. We can’t have them continue digging where they were, and the nation might well need the stone being quarried in the near future. I can’t possibly just halt all operations. Besides, doing so would only pose a greater risk that knowledge of the dungeon might leak.”“Ah yes, the dungeon,” Bastion said. “I’m aware that the appearance of a new dungeon is important to the nation, but a settlement the size of Granite Springs—not to mention the nation’s alliance with the mole people—ought to outweigh the value of keeping one dungeon secret.”The major blinked fast. I had the impression that he wasn’t so much mean, or even incompetent, as he was... focused on his task. “This new dungeon will hardly threaten the town. If anything, the movement of additional people to the region and the change in ambient mana would help Granite Springs.”“For things to help the town, the town needs to still be around,” Bastion said.I decided to butt in a little. “I don’t think the entire town is at risk, but, well, if we don’t do something, people might get hurt, and I can’t think of many secrets that are worth hurting people over.”“I... I see? None of this would be an issue if it wasn’t for that damnable near-dragon thing.”“... what dragon thing?” Bastion asked.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Two — Move Fast and Break Things
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Two — Move Fast and Break Things Major Springsong rolled out a map onto the surface of his desk. It was one of those black and white elevation maps with lines all across it and plenty of little notes. “This is the old quarry,” he said, tapping part of the map with his forefinger. “This is the location where the quarry is supposed to be digging next, this part of the mountainside here. The stone there’s the right kind for a specific kind of runework. I’ll admit I’m not exactly sure what they look for in the rocks to know which would be suitable.”“And the mole people’s village?” Bastion asked.“Over here, more or less,” the major said as he gestured off to the side a little. “Their village has been expanding in nearly every direction, so our initial survey of its location is likely wrong. We started digging a new quarry here, nearer to the village, and over that line we agreed upon, but it shouldn’t have been an issue.”“Only because of their expansion it is,” Bastion finished.“Exactly,” the major finished.“But they’re allowed to expand that way, right?” I asked.The major nodded. “Certainly. Sylphfree doesn’t usually care what the mole people do underground, as long as it’s not likely to cause some landslide that might threaten a sylph settlement.”“Alright,” I said. “So where’s the dragon?”“Not actually a dragon,” the major said quickly. “If we had an actual dragon on our hands, you can bet we’d have the entire army here by now, with every airship we can arm and every wizard and paladin worth their salt ready to fight.”“Wow, you really don’t like dragons,” I said.Bastion shifted a little. “Sylphfree has had... multiple issues with dragonkin. Of which this might be one. What are we dealing with here?”“An amphiptere,” Major Springsong said. “Not some little snake with wings, but a matriarch.”“Age?” Bastion asked. He was being very serious, I sensed.The major shook his head. “I don’t know. It seems somewhat dormant. The snake has a small injury along one side. I think it might have injured one of its wings. Perhaps it was hibernating and something fell on it, but that’s just speculation. It’s about sixty metres long, two metres wide.”That was about twice the length of the Beaver Cleaver. That had to be a huge snake.“So it’s an older one. Any idea of the level?”Another shake of the major’s head. “Three marks from my highest level scout. He’s at twenty, so...”“So at least level forty,” Bastion said. “I know some of them can be clever enough to enter a dungeon and eat their way through to the end. Otherwise, it simply aged enough to gain natural classes.”“Sounds like it would be a tough fight,” I said.“A very difficult one,” Bastion replied. “And no, before you ask, you can’t negotiate with dragonkin.”“But I’ve spoken to dragons before,” I said.“What?” the major asked.Bastion waved him down. “She’s an airship captain who isn’t from Sylphfree,” he said. That seemed to placate the major. “Dragonkin, such as amphipteres, drakes, or wyrms, aren’t any more intelligent than a wild dog.”“Oh,” I said.“They occur when a dragon... mates with a non-draconic creature. The offspring will have some traits of each. If you want more details... ask Amaryllis.”I couldn’t help but feel that the last comment there was some sort of joke at Amaryllis’ expense. “Alright,” I said. “So, the amphiptere is a monster-monster. We can’t reason with it, and... is it dangerous?”“It’s a quiet threat for now,” Major Springsong said. “As long as it’s still mostly dormant, it shouldn’t be an issue. The problem comes from when it awakens. The beast will be hungry then. But that could be weeks from now. For the moment, I’m securing the new dungeon, assessing it, and protecting it.”“You haven’t done anything about the creature yet?” Bastion asked.“I sent a request to the office of the Inquisition for assistance. A paladin or two to deal with the monster.”“I don’t know if even two paladins would be enough to deal with a creature in its fourth tier or above,” Bastion said. “We’d need assistance from the local garrison, as well as your group here.”The major seemed entirely onboard with that idea. “That would be wonderful. It’s hidden in a crevice near the old quarry. So hitting it from above won’t be possible. We’ll need to bait it out.”“I wouldn’t want to fight that kind of creature in any sort of crevice or cavern,” Bastion said. “No room for formation fighting.” Bastion shifted, a hand coming up to cup his chin. “This... is a problem. I came here to address the quarry though.”“We can stop digging immediately,” Major Springsong said. “It wouldn’t be hard. The issue then is that we need that stone. There are new fortifications going up across the kingdom that rely on near-daily shipments of stone from here. It’ll create a nationwide bottleneck.”Bastion breathed out a huff. “I see. We can’t continue to move towards the mole people.”“There might be a way to mine some small pockets near the old quarry, but that’ll mean having the workers near that monster, and I don’t know if there’s much left to find there,” the major said. “At the very least it will slow down production by a considerable amount.”Bastion nodded, then he tapped at the map. “This is where the amphiptere is?” he asked.“A group of miners found it a week ago. I swore them to secrecy. It’s in the location where the new quarry should be.”“And if we remove it, the mining operations can continue in this area unhampered.”This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“Effectively, yes. It will mean moving some equipment back, but that’s half a day’s loss, at most.”I leaned over the map myself, then hummed. “So, the solution to everything is to scare off that big beasty.”“There’s no scaring off dragonkin. They’re prideful to a fault. We need to kill it.”“It might mean a great bounty of meat and such as well,” Major Springsong said. “I know alchemists enjoy working with dragonkin scales.”“Don’t count your basilisks before they hatch,” Bastion said. “This will have to be a joint effort. I’ll need pen and paper—I’m sending a letter to Commander Warmwood, as well as General Holey.”“The mole person?” the major asked.Bastion nodded. “They despise amphipteres more than the sylph do, and participating in an action to eliminate one might be a good way to smooth out any ill will between the local settlement and Granite Springs. Commander Warmwood will be informed because he has the troops to assist.”“And Captain Ward,” I added.Bastion nodded. “Good point. The guard may be able to assist as well. Though I’d rather they not be the front line. They might assist with the clean-up afterwards. If the... spoils need to be carved up by civilians, it would be good to have the guard in place already.”“It’s already nearly noon,” I said. “Is everyone going to be ready for this today?”“If we move quickly they will,” Bastion said. “Broccoli, can I entrust you with a pair of letters? To Captain Ward and General Holey?”“I’d love to!” I said.Major Springsong didn’t seem entirely onboard with the idea, but he didn’t stop Bastion. He found paper and pen, and placed them before Bastion, who immediately started composing three letters.“The third is for Commander Warmwood?” I guessed.“That’s right. Major, do you mind letting me use one of your faster men? The commander’s garrison is already on high alert. They should be ready to move within the hour if all goes well.”“I’ll get one of my scouts,” the major said.Bastion set one letter aside after signing it with a flourish. “This is for Captain Ward. I think he’ll trust your word on the matter outright, but reassure him that things should, hopefully, end in an amicable way.”“I’ll do what I can,” I said.Bastion hummed as he composed the next letter. It seemed to take him longer, and he was more careful with his writing. I guessed that there was a lot more stuff involved when writing to a general, let alone one from what was basically another nation. “Here,” he said as he folded the letter. He checked the drawers around the major’s desk until he came up with a bar of wax. A small flame summoned at the tip of his fingers melted it and he pressed a ring into it to seal it. I’d never really paid much attention to the ring he wore. It was just a small black thing that was tucked neatly under his glove.“The captain first?” I asked.“If you run across him,” Bastion said. “The general is of a higher priority. I’m sorry for using you as a courier like this.”“I don’t mind!” I said. “Good luck hug for the road?” I asked.Bastion sighed, but he did allow me to squeeze him as best I could before I darted out of the tent and back into the middle of the camp. I made sure both letters were tucked away in my biggest pouch. They’d be a bit rumpled, but that was better than outright missing.A few of the soldiers looked at me as I bounced past, but I paid them no mind as I started to hop along. My sense of direction wasn’t the best, but it wasn't hard to make it to the quarry, then past that and back onto the main road leading towards the mole people dam.Feet thumping, I raced along, not so fast that I’d burn through all of my stamina, but still going at a good pace. I kept Bastion’s lessons in mind, pushing myself, but only enough that I wouldn’t tire.It didn’t take long for me to run into Captain Ward and the rest of the guards Bastion and I had ridden over with. “Captain!” I called out with a wave.The captain pulled on the reins, slowing the horse drawing the wagon until he came to a full stop. “Captain Bunch,” he said. “What’s the matter?”I guess seeing me rushing over alarmed him. “I have a letter for you,” I said as I moved closer and tugged the letter out. I stopped next to the wagon and reached up for him to take it. “I have another letter to deliver to the mole people.”“I see,” Captain Ward said as he took the letter. “Any news?”“A bunch,” I said. “I think the letter will cover some of that. I don’t know if Bastion wants you to go straight for the quarry or back to Granite Springs though.”“I see,” he said as he popped the letter open and started to read it, his brows bunching together as he scanned the page. “Hmm. So, it all comes down to one monster, doesn’t it?”“Seems like it,” I said.“Don’t know if my guard can manage against a big amphiptere. But with the Inquisition there, and the army as well... not to mention the paladin.”“Hey, I’m no slouch in a fight,” I said.The captain laughed. “Of course. Well then, it’s off to Granite Springs for me. I’ll gather what I think we need and return to the quarry. Will I be meeting you there?”“Of course,” I said. “I wouldn’t miss out on an adventure like that!”“Good on you,” the captain said. “We’ll be off again.”“See you in a bit!” I called out as I started to bounce off.“You as well!” he called right back.The sylph might have been stiff, but they weren’t bad people. Now I just had to go say hi to all the mole people again, and then... then I’d see what it was like to fight a big old monster!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Three — Granite Springs Calls For Aid
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Three — Granite Springs Calls For Aid The dam hadn’t had time to change since I’d last seen it. I guess even the hard-working mole people could only do so much in a few hours. The same guard was standing at the top of the wall, and he squinted at me as I came closer.“Hello!” I called up. “It’s Broccoli Bunch! I have a letter for the general!”The mole person blinked a few times. “Hello again,” he said. “Give us a moment then.”I was quite happy to wait. While I could wick off the sweat with my Cleaning magic, that didn’t change how warm I was feeling, or even how burny my muscles were. It was nice to stand still and let things settle.Actually, getting rid of all my sweat was probably a bad idea. Sweat was meant to help cool a person off, and I was feeling very warm. Something to keep in mind when I didn’t need to be presentable in front of an important general person.The drawbridge gate lowered, and the same guard mole I saw above waddled out to come closer. “Are you alone, miss?” he asked.“Yup,” I said. “It’s just me.”“Ah, I see. Wonderful. The general is a little preoccupied right now, but you may enter. The general will be with you shortly.”I grinned as wide and happy as I could. “Thank you!” I said as I followed the mole person guard back in. A few workers spun a wheel around once we were within the fort, and the gate rose with a clatter of chains. “So, do I need to wait somewhere in particular?” I asked.The guard mole reached up and scratched at his wide neck with his clawed hands. “I don’t know. Just around here, I suppose.”“Oh, okay. Can I stay with you then?”He shrugged. “I don’t mind. I’ve never talked to a bun before.” He stared. “You are a bun?”“Yup! Though I started off as a plain old human.” I nodded. “So, what’s your name? I can’t keep on calling you ‘the guard mole’ in my head.”He chuckled, a raspy sort of sound. “I’m Diggo, of the Undervalley clan. So, you were a human first? Is that how it works for all buns?”“Hmm? No, most buns are born as buns. At least, I think so. There would need to be a lot of people turning into buns, otherwise.”“That’s interesting, I guess,” Diggo said. “We don’t have any buns in town. I’d have heard of them.”“Is it mostly mole people then?” I asked.The mole guard nodded. “Yup. For the most part just normal folk. A few sylph too. Strange ones at that, but nice enough. I know some villages have a human or two as well, but none near here.”“That’s neat,” I said. “I guess it can be harder for some people to adapt to living underground. I know I’d have a hard time. I need some space to move around in.”“Really? I find being out here in the open stressful. Look at all that sky. You can’t know what’s going to come swooping out of it.”I glanced up at the clear blue sky, bright and inviting, with a cheerful sun dancing above. “Sure, I guess,” I said. I wasn’t going to argue against his fears.“Captain Bunch,” a familiar voice called out. I shifted, a smile coming up as I saw General Holey walking my way with a couple of guards at his back. “You’ve come alone?”“Hello, general,” I said. “And yeah, I have. Bastion sent me with a letter for you.” I tugged the letter out and handed it over.The general took it, eyed the seal for a moment, then popped it open and read its contents. “Hmm,” he said as he reached the end. “An amphiptere.”The guards around him shifted, and I heard Diggo take in a sharp breath. Were they so dangerous that even the mention of one made the mole people nervous? I guess they were natural adversaries.“Did you observe the creature yourself, captain?” General Holey asked.I shook my head. “I didn’t. But I did see some of the plans and maps the Inquisition people drew up. I don’t know what Bastion’s letter says, but I think the whole kerfuffle here was caused by that monster’s presence. The miners couldn’t dig where they’d been digging before, so they shifted closer to your village. It was really poorly handled though. They shouldn’t have ignored your letters the way they did.”“I see,” the general said. “And I agree on the latter part. It was a cruel and rude gesture to make. Not to mention politically unwise. But I suppose with an amphiptere around they might not have been thinking straight.”“It might not be around for long. Bastion is gathering soldiers from the base in town, and he’s asking the guard to help too. I think he’s planning on having everyone work together to kill it. I don’t know if they really need all those people for one beastie though.”The general sniffed. “I mean no offence, captain, but you’ve made your ignorance plain with such a comment. I don’t doubt that the garrison, the Inquisition, and the town guard all working together will be able to kill or, at the very least, injure the beast, but it won’t be a task easily done.”I shrugged. I was always willing to admit to being ignorant; it was the best way to become less ignorant after all. “I’ve never seen one. And I’ve never fought one either. I’ve seen dragons though.”“And would you think a fight against a dragon would be easy?”I had to think back. Would fighting Rawrexdee be easy? What about his mom? “No. No, that wouldn’t be an easy fight. They’re big, and smart, and very strong.”“An amphiptere is no dragon. They lack the intelligence and the gift for magic, not to mention the claws. But they can become quite large and powerful, and while they lack the magical finesse of a dragon, they can use it the way a brute uses a hammer.”Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.I didn’t like the thought of so many people risking themselves to fight something like that. A lot could go wrong, and people could get hurt. “This isn’t going to be fun, is it?”“I doubt it,” the general said. He turned to one of the mole people next to him. “Prepare the First Platoon. Volunteers only. Fill in the gaps with volunteers from Second. Heighten the guard at the fort.”“Can I help?” I asked.The general shook his head, then paused and made a “one-moment” gesture before turning to his other guard. “Prepare the burden beetles. We’ll hardly need them if things turn sour and I’d rather have everyone be fresh on arrival.”The soldiers ran off to do the general’s bidding, and within seconds shouted orders filled the air as more mole people were roused into action.The general observed his fort gearing up, then he turned towards me. “Captain Bunch, would you mind accompanying me back to the quarry?”“I don’t mind at all,” I said. “I’d probably just be in the way if I went back now, and I really don’t like not being able to help.”“I understand,” the general said. “Give us all a moment. We’ve trained for rapid deployments often enough that I do hope my troops here can be ready in a reasonable amount of time.”I nodded and stepped back, making sure I wasn’t in the way as soldiers rushed around. There was a lot of clanging and banging as mole people slid into armour and formed up in a square in the middle of the fort, long spears held by their sides.A few mole people with more elaborate hats moved over to the general and asked some questions in low tones. I could always make out the moment when the general told them they’d be fighting an amphiptere. There would be a flash of fear, then their eyes narrowed and they looked almost happy as they ran off to shout more orders and wave their little arms about.I stared as a section of the ground was removed by mole people with crowbars, and a line of huge beetles were led out of the ground, each one longer than I was tall, and big enough that they reached my waist.I thought I’d seen something similar in Deepmarsh, in some farmer’s field, but I’d almost entirely forgotten about them. “What are those?” I asked the general when he didn’t look so occupied.“Never seen a burden beetle? They’re docile enough, though convincing them to stay in the open air requires some training. We use them to pull carts underground.”“Are they smart?”“No smarter than a sylph’s horse,” the general said. “Less, even.”The burden beetles had strange barding that required two mole people to put on. They were brought to one side of the fort where carts with big wheels and posts in their middle were hitched to them, four beetles to each cart.The gate was lowered again, and the carts, some four in all, were led out of the fort by drivers sitting right behind the beetles. “Come on, captain,” General Holey said. “We’re taking the lead cart.”I nodded and followed after the general. A few others followed after him too, staff and people who I figured were officers. We climbed aboard the cart and basically stood at the back. There weren’t any seats, just some poles coming out of the middle to hold onto.A group of soldiers ran up behind us and fitted some spears into little holes on the side of the cart, each one at an angle from the middle so that the cart had a dozen spikes sticking out of it above our heads.“What are those for?” I asked.“It makes it harder for any flying creature to swoop down and grab someone off of the cart,” the general explained.“Oh,” I said. That was a rather terrifying answer. “Does that happen a lot?”“There are a few predators that like to target us,” he explained. “The sylph are targeted as well, but they have better eyes than we do, and can generally see a threat coming in time to react. We have to adapt to things differently when we’re on the surface.”I nodded, then leaned to the side to see the other carts behind us. Soldiers were clinging onto them, maybe a dozen well-armed and armoured mole people on each. They had little swords by their hips and, of course, their long spears sticking out above their cart. All of them wore the same heavy plate armour, big breastplates and metal bands around their legs. They were pretty noisy, especially when they moved their heads to look around.They had neat chainmail hoods on, with wide-brimmed metal hats above those. The only differences I could see in their armour were some that had a crest on their helmet to make room for feathers, and a few that had cloth robes on.“Are the ones with skirts girls?” I asked the general.He stared at me for a moment, then looked back to the carts I was eyeing. “No? The half-robes are traditional garb worn by mages. Can’t you tell a male from a female?”“I... not really, no,” I said. “What’s the difference between a boy mole person and a girl mole person... wait, are you?”“I’m male,” the general said. He didn’t sound amused, but something about the way his whiskers twitched said he was. “The men will be broader in the chest, and a little taller besides.”“Oh,” I said. I guess that helped, though with the armour it would be hard to tell them apart.Probably best to just ask if I wasn’t sure. It was better than sticking my foot in my mouth, even if I had the flexibility to manage that.“Alright!” General Holey called out. “Let’s go kill an amphiptere!”The soldiers cheered, and we were off.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Four — Joint Strike Fighters
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Four — Joint Strike Fighters “So, how do you fight an amphiptere?” I asked.The general hummed, and I was happy he was actually considering my question. Not that we had too much else to do on the ride over. The burden beetles were cool, but they weren’t exactly fast. Stable, and they walked at a very even pace-more so than a horse or donkey-but not fast.“I wish there was a single, reliable answer, but the truth is that the method will depend upon the situation. An amphiptere is fast, can fly, and can use brutish magics. Fighting them in the air isn’t possible for us, so we try to hit them when they’re resting or roosting. Then the matter becomes one of positioning.”“You mean like attacking them from above?” I asked.“Amphipteres make their homes in crevices and mountainside caverns. Those can sometimes be caved in or netted over. Sometimes the beast can be lured out and into a trap where mages will hit them from many directions at once. We have the greatest earth mages in the world,” the general boasted.I nodded along. That made sense. A people that lived mostly underground would want to have mages who could move earth around. And I guessed their way of fighting naturally relied on that.The carts rattled on over the bumpy road until the quarry appeared in the distance. The general spent some time conferring with his officers in low, whispered tones. Mostly they seemed worried over how to work alongside the sylphs who would no doubt be there already.As we crested another small hill, we came upon a trail of wagons and soldiers. Some hundred or so sylphs in lighter armour, with a pair of wagons at the head. They were walking in a neat formation, spears bobbing up and down with every step. That is, until they caught sight of the group of mole people ahead of them.The two groups slowed to a stop, the moles and I above the hill, the sylphs near the base. To our left was the road leading into the quarry.I felt the tension rising for a moment before I spotted Commander Warmwood sitting in one of the wagons. I jumped up and down, one hand waving above me. “Hey! Commander Warmwood! We’re here to help!”The commander stared, then he laughed, a single, loud bark that somehow dispelled the tension. “Greetings, Captain Bunch,” he said before lowering himself off the side of his wagon. General Holey did the same, landing with a thump on the road before he started to waddle ahead.I hesitated for a moment before deciding that joining them was probably the more fun option. So I bounced down and hopped after the general.He stopped a good three or four paces from the commander, and then they stared at each other. “Uh,” I said. “Commander Warmwood, this is General Holey. General Holey, this is Commander Warmwood from Granite Springs.”The general nodded. “A pleasure,” he said.“Likewise,” the commander replied. “You here to kill that flying garden snake?”General Holey snorted. “We’ve killed our share of them.”“Well, maybe we can show you a trick or two.”“Oh, I’m certain we can do the same.”I was nervous that things would deteriorate, but then both of them stepped up and their hands met with a big meaty smack. It looked as if they were both trying to squeeze the other’s hand as hard as possible. The muscles in their arms bulged, and both of them leaned into the handshake, which didn’t actually have much shaking to it.“I’m glad to see you both getting along!” I cheered.They let go of each other, neither of them doing more than moving their hands open and closed a bit, even though it felt like both of them wanted to wiggle their hands free of the pain.“I’m certain the mole people can set aside any differences for the day,” Commander Warmwood said.“Yes, I’m certain the sylphs can let go of some of their snobbishness for an afternoon. I will, of course, be leading this assault.” General Holey nodded, as if it were a foregone conclusion.“You will be leading?” Commander Warmwood asked. “Why exactly is that?”“Aren’t our nations allied?” the general asked. “Besides, we have more experience dealing with these matters, and, not to put too fine a point on it, I do outrank you, commander.”“Yes, I suppose you do,” the commander replied. “Though I wonder about the value of being a general of such a... small army, from an equally small nation.”“Oh-kay!” I said as I stepped up between the two of them. It looked like they were gearing up to do more than shake hands really hard. “This doesn’t seem like the friendliest situation, so how about we all just... not be mean to each other for a minute or two?””We were cordial,” Commander Warmwood said.“Downright polite,” General Holey agreed.They glared at each other until I slid to the side, blocking their line of sight. “This isn’t very productive,” I said.Both of them... well, they didn’t exactly pout, because they were big tough guys, but they certainly wore complicated expressions for a bit.“Thank you, Captain Bunch,” General Holey said. “I do believe you’re essentially correct. Commander, we need to find a way to resolve this situation. I’m certain we both have protocols for mixed troop actions, and I don’t believe those protocols call for any sort of posturing.”The commander nodded slowly. “That’s not wrong. Though a little bit of posturing is good for morale.”They both chuckled darkly, and I smiled even if I didn’t quite get it.“Let’s move over to the quarry,” General Holey said. “Captain Bunch, is there a staging location?”Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.“I don’t know about that, but the Inquisition people did set up a small camp.”Both men sniffed, then they looked at each other. “You don’t look forward to working with the Inquisition?” General Holey asked.“I would rather avoid it, yes,” Commander Warmwood agreed. “But I don’t think that will be an option.”I wasn’t sure if both of them agreeing to dislike someone else was a great middle-ground to meet on, but it was something at least. “We should keep moving then. We’re burning daylight.”“Indeed,” they both said at the same time.The general returned to his cart and the commander to his wagon, and I stood there for a moment, not sure which way to go. So instead I shrugged and bounced ahead and into the quarry. The quarry workers were gathering up near some of the barracks-looking buildings. I guessed that work had been cancelled for the afternoon, at least, so they didn’t have much else to do but stare at first the mole people army then the sylph army rolled past on the way to the far end of the site.I found the Inquisition camp a hive of activity, with soldiers moving crates around and setting up tents on the outside of the camp. Some were laying out stretchers, and what looked like a medical tent was going up under the watchful eyes of an officer.I found Bastion by the side of the camp, frowning at a map held in Major Springsong’s outstretched hands. “Bastion!” I called out.The paladin looked over and his frown turned into a smile. “Broccoli,” he said as a way of greeting. “Things went well?”I nodded. “Yup. I met Captain Ward on the way over. He took off towards Granite Springs. And General Holey agreed to come. He brought a couple of carts worth of mole people soldiers. A few mages too.”“That might well be helpful,” Bastion said.“The general and Commander Warmwood don’t exactly get along,” I said. “I think they were doing that macho thing where they try to one-up each other. They both agree that they don’t want the Inquisition in charge though.”Bastion’s frown returned, but it was Major Springsong who spoke up first. “The Inquisition was here first, and while we don’t have as many troops on the ground, we do have most of the information pertaining to the situation at hand.”“Yeah, but I think everyone thinks you’re being all secretive and... well, the way you handled the molefolk's letters is, uh, not a great endorsement of your leadership... sorry?”“Captain Bunch is likely correct,” Bastion said. “Perhaps instead of waiting for delegation of leadership to be settled-which might well take weeks with the hardness of the heads involved-we distract everyone with our current plan, then work our way from there. It’s a simple ruse, but it has worked on mixed-troop deployments before. Each commanding officer need only worry about their part in the greater plan.”“So, what is the plan?” I asked.“Perhaps we should go over it only once,” Bastion said.The commander and the general were coming up behind us, their wagons and carts rolling into place, the dozens of soldiers all forming up into two distinct groups.“Broccoli, could you invite the commander and general to the command tent? Major Springsong, I’d advise you to remain... quiet, for the moment. We’ll try to set things up as quickly and as efficiently as possible.”“Got it!” I said.It didn’t take very much to get the general to come over, though he insisted some of the other officers in his retinue accompany him.The commander, on seeing General Holey moving over to the command tent with his aides, wasn’t about to be left behind and gathered his own—exactly one more than the general—and moved over as well.Was there always this much posturing before stuff could actually get moving? The soldiers seemed very focused on standing straight and sometimes jeering at each other when their leaders weren’t looking, but at least the banter on their side seemed almost friendly.It made me think of the way Amaryllis liked to poke fun at her friends.I had to wonder how my other friends were doing. They’d be pretty impressed with all of my work, I bet.No one stopped me from entering the command tent, so I slipped past the canvas draped over the entrance and took in the room. At first, it looked like three camps had formed around the table. Major Springsong on one end, Commander Warmwood across from him, and General Holey near the back. But when I really looked, it was clear that Bastion was forming a lonely fourth camp, without any of his own aides in the background posturing. So I joined up and stood behind him, my most presentable smile on.“Since everyone is here,” Bastion began. “Let’s go over the situation one final time.”“Please do,” General Holey said. “I do like being kept informed.” This last was delivered with a glare to the major.Bastion nodded, ignoring that last bit entirely. “There is a amphiptere near the site of the new quarry. This quarry, as you likely all know, produces a specific kind of stone that is used in enchanting and in some alchemical processes. It’s imperative that we continue to supply this stone for the foundation of the kingdom’s new fortresses along the border. And of course, we can’t threaten our neighbours while doing so. Here’s what we know about the beast so far.”I listened as attentively as I could, ears ramrod straight on my head, with only the occasional twitch to turn them towards whoever was speaking. But to be entirely honest, a lot of the plan flew over my head.Well, plans usually didn't last long enough to matter, anyway.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Five — Snakes Are a Pain
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Five — Snakes Are a Pain The old quarry didn’t look like much—I guessed that unworked quarries were really just hills with a bunch of rock in them. The hilly landscape was covered in trees except for the large area where the new quarry was located. There was enough stone in the ground that the only trees around were small, scraggly things that didn’t look like they’d resist a strong wind.The crevice that the others had spoken of was in the centre of the nearest hills, a crack in the ground that started a few hundred metres from the hillside. I got to poke at it as we moved into the area. It was a crack, maybe a handspan wide near the start.The closer it got to the hill the larger the crack became, until someone could easily fit a car in the gigantic slice. I guessed that the monster had snuggled into that crack. Maybe there was a cavern or something beneath it?“Do you know how the crack formed?” I asked the person nearest me.The plan, or what I understood of it, called for everyone to split apart into large groups. The Inquisition were splitting up and sneaking around the hill to take on the rear flanks. The larger force of the army from Granite Springs were setting up in the open, where the ground was even and they had plenty of room to move.General Holey and his molefolk forces were moving to the forward flank, with his earth mages setting up near the bottom edge of the crevice. Bastion had asked that I stay near the general and his men, because that was one of the safer areas where I could still be pretty useful.My job was to jump in and grab anyone who got hurt. The medical tents were still by the Inquisition camp, a three minute walk away. Far enough not to be caught up in all of the trouble but close enough the injured could be brought over in a hurry.There had to be well over a hundred soldiers on the field. It felt like a lot of people for one monster. There was an electric tingle to the air, nervous energy and magic waiting on the tips of fingers to be cast.“The crack isn’t natural,” the general answered at long last.His voice made me jump. Maybe I was nervous too.“There was a fight between two dragons in this valley once, some hundred years ago, or perhaps a little more now. It reshaped the land, burnt down some of the ancient forests, and left behind a land scarred and cracked. That slice was likely caused by one of them landing.”“Whoa,” I said. Then again, I could imagine someone like Rhawrexdee making quite a mess if he were to fight, and he was a younger dragon. His mom was much bigger.“The sylphs have good reason to mistrust dragons and their ilk,” the general said. “We were always a little more fortunate, owing to our homes beneath the earth.”“I see,” I said.The orders were given, people were in their places, and all that was missing was the monster we were going to be fighting.A hush fell over the battlefield as Bastion stepped up. He stood in his full armour, sword unsheathed and held loosely by his side. My best-sylph-friend was a dozen paces ahead of the main body of the army, alone and ready.“We’re beginning,” the general said. The mole people around us shifted one last time, spears rising and boots crunching on the loose gravel underfoot.At the top of the hill, a soldier from the Inquisition, in lighter armour than the rest, took to the air with a flap of his wings. He had a stick of something with a long fuse in it that he lit before tossing it down the crack. Not an explosive. Instead a thick smoke poured out of the crack, and I heard a few people gag as it rolled over them.I sniffed at the air, then recoiled as the smoke was carried over by the wind. It stank, like an old fart, but stronger.That had to be to wake up and irritate the amphiptere.There was a rumble. Rock tumbling over rock, and the sylph flying above darted away and ran past a line of soldiers that made room for him to pass.The rumble slowed, then stopped.I saw everyone tensing, preparing themselves for a fight.Then, from the crack, slithered a monster.The amphiptere was a long snake-like creature, as big around as my head, and nearly three metres long. It shifted across the rocky ground by the wider part of the crevice, then reared up, strange scales sliding back from its eyes so it could see everyone looking at it.It hissed, and a pair of large wings spread out behind it.The monster opened its mouth wide, and a ball of greenish goop shot out and towards the nearest person.Bastion stepped neatly and easily to the side, avoiding the spittle.The monster hissed again and shot forward.I gasped at the speed of it. It was fast. A rapid, black-ish brown blur.Bastion jerked to the side, whirling in a split-second spin as the snake passed through his afterimage.By the time my mind caught up, he was standing three paces away, sword swinging around in an easy circle to clean off the blood and gunk caught on it.The monster flopped behind him in three large chunks.“Was... was that it?” I asked.That had been impressive, but there were a lot of people here just for that.“No, that was a juvenile,” the general said. “On guard!” he shouted.I tensed, especially when I felt the ground shifting underfoot and saw all the soldiers tighten their grips on their spears. The hillside shifted, in a weird, unsettling way because hillsides aren't supposed to move. I looked around, trying to spot where, exactly, the shift was coming from.Stolen story; please report.Then it exploded.Rocks shot into the air, big boulders rolling down the hill out of a growing cloud of dust. Eeping, I ducked down and grabbed at the edges of my helmet as tiny pebbles came raining down from the sky. They clinked and plinked off of the armour of the people around me, most of whom stood still as they weathered the storm.A roar filled the air.You have heard the roar of a powerful beast. You are challenged to fight.I glanced up, then gasped.The amphiptere was massive, as wide around as a bus and ten times as long, though its tail did start to taper to a point eventually, with big fins on the very end. It hissed into the air, its breath stagnant and vile, like old rotting meat. Then its wings spread out behind it, each one the size of a small building, ribbed and leathery, like the wings of a huge bat, with visible veins running through them.One of the wings was clearly injured, cracked and broken and bent at an odd angle. Still, when it flapped its wings, I saw a few of the soldiers closer to the front, those who hadn’t taken a solid stance, be thrown back onto their rears.Bastion, at the head of it all, weathered the storm with nothing but a mean glare for the monster. “Mages!” he called, voice clear and ringing.“Now,” the general next to me barked.The mole people mages stepped up, and, with tight little gestures of their arms and a synchronized stomp, they shot off magic ahead of them that immediately dove into the ground.Nothing happened, and the monster began to gather itself, muscles tightening, and it was then that the ground turned to something like mud. Stone boiled, and the amphiptere sank while large spikes of rock jabbed into it from both sides like massive teeth.The sylph army all took a step forward at the same time, one hand punching out ahead of them, and soon the air was filled by a thick volley of tiny fireballs that pelted into the amphiptere.When the dust settled it became clear that none of it had done much. The fire had only blemished its scales, and while one or two of the rocky spikes had broken into its skin, the wounds were small.It shifted, body twisting, snake-like, and just like that, the stone entrapping it broke apart.“Oh, this isn’t great,” I muttered.Would we even be able to do anything against something that strong?The monster reared its head back, just like the smaller one had, and I gasped. It was going to spit!“Shields!” Commander Warmwood called. He was right there, at the back of his men with his own gear on, sword pointing to the monster in defiance.The snake hissed and a glob of acid goop sprayed out of it as if from a firefighter’s hose.Bastion leapt straight up, spun, then kicked against the glob of acid to gain more height. He came hurtling down with a flipping kick,his heel crashing against the monster’s snout with a crack that I felt from all the way where I was.The amphiptere’s head snapped down, and its acid spit fizzled out as it was wasted on the rocky ground.I winced as I saw stones smoking and melting. Then I glanced over to the army, expecting to see something horrible.Instead, the soldiers were stepping back in an orderly fashion, shields raised ahead of them with the rims glowing. There was still some spit pouring off the front of them and onto the ground, but it didn’t look like any of them were really injured.Neat equipment, that.“We need to hit it harder,” General Holey said. “Mages, again. Pin its midsection down. We’re moving in.”“Moving in?” I asked. I didn’t want to be closer to that thing than I had to be, and I was never one to shy away from adventure.Bastion was somersaulting away from the monster as it tried to snap him out of the air, but he was never where it lunged, and whenever it came too close, he’d lash out with his sword, lightning-quick, leaving a small slice across its scales.That wouldn’t be enough, of course. Bastion would tire eventually. The monster too... but it was big.The mages cast another spell together, and I saw the Inquisition soldiers doing something similar before large balls of fire rammed into the monster’s back and sent it reeling forward.All around, soldiers started to move in, shields up and spears raised, points glinting in the sunlight as they kept an even pace not to break their formations.The monster wasn’t going down so easily. It thrashed and spun around, tearing itself out of whatever grasp the mole people mages had on it. It spat at the top of the hill, where the Inquisition soldiers dove and flew out of the way.The soldiers around it came close enough that some were able to strike, spears glowing before they stabbed into the monster’s sides. Magic spears? Maybe they were enchanted. It was enough that they’d leave large cuts in the monster’s side.“Stay here, captain,” General Holey said. He shifted, then tore his sword out of its sheath. “It’s best that you avoid getting hurt.” And with that, he walked off towards the monster to accompany his soldiers.I fretted on the sidelines, more than far enough that I wouldn’t get hurt.I didn’t like it, not one whit.Still, I didn’t know what a lone bun could do to help.My fists tightened. That was no excuse not to find something I could do to help!
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Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Six — Saint Bastion and the Dragon
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Six — Saint Bastion and the Dragon The amphiptere spun around, mouth gaping wide to expose its large fangs, both dripping with a liquid I could only assume wasn’t great for anyone’s health. It snapped at the air, a futile attempt to catch Bastion.The soldiers around the monster kept jabbing at it with their spears and even the occasional swing of a sword. Magic pelted the monster’s sides, leaving marks and little else against the amphiptere’s diamond-hard scales.I couldn’t stand not being helpful, but there wasn’t much a couple of fireballs would do to something like that, and Cleaning magic would just annoy it, at best.It really sucked, but maybe the best I could do was sit back and wait.As I made that decision, the amphiptere spun around on itself, coiling up in a big circle and sending the soldiers near it reeling back, else they’d be squished by the creature’s massive bulk.Bastion flew back and landed with a slight bounce some two dozen metres away from the monster.The soldiers rebuilt their formation, officers screaming out orders from within their ranks until the amphiptere was once again surrounded by a bristling wall of spearheads. It glanced around itself with a deep hiss, malevolent, angry eyes scanning across all the people that looked absolutely tiny in comparison to it.“Hey!” Bastion shouted. He waved his arm above his head, and the amphiptere turned his way and bared its fangs.It shot towards Bastion, mouth opening wide again only for Bastion to dive out of the way. The monster was clever though. It turned, one of its wings unfurled like a large leathery sail.It made a dull thump as it swatted Bastion out of the air.“Bastion!” I shouted as I saw my friend punched back. He landed with a heavy thud against the rocky ground, then rolled bum over teakettle before stopping in a heap.The amphiptere hissed, and it sounded downright pleased with itself. It shifted its bulk, scaring off the soldiers that had started to move in again, and it slithered closer to Bastion.The paladin was getting to his feet, but he looked dazed by the blow. I didn’t know if he would have time to really figure things out before the amphiptere was on him.Which meant that I had to do something.I didn’t decide to spend a heap of stamina to launch myself across the battlefield and right at the amphiptere’s head. But by the time I realized what I was doing, I was airborne and already halfway to it's scaly cranium.I wished I had my spade with me, that would have made things a whole bunch easier. The snake didn't even turn my way, apparently dismissing me. I wasn’t a threat, certainly no more than all of the soldiers fighting it from every direction.The thing is, I wasn’t rushing at it to hurt it—I was there to be the most annoying bun I could be.“Hey!” I shouted. “Don’t hurt my friends!”I landed with a crunch of loose gravel below the amphiptere’s head. It still towered way above me, but that didn’t stop me from reaching down and grabbing a rock the size of my head.With a grunt of effort, I leapt up and ahead of the amphiptere, then I flung the rock I had into its open mouth.It bounced off of a tooth with a heavy clunk, then rolled down its gullet.The amphiptere closed its mouth, and I saw the muscles of its throat working before it glanced down and glared at me. It hissed again, and I glared right back. “Well, that’s what you get for trying to eat my friend,” I shouted.The monster seemed to consider that before it moved back towards Bastion.It really had a thing against my friend. At least I’d won him time. He was back on his feet, sword arm moving around as he tested it. “Broccoli, get off the battlefield,” he said.“I can help,” I said.“I’m certain you can, but it’s dangerous here,” he said.As if to emphasize his words, the monster spat at the spot where he was, coating the ground in a thick layer of sizzling acid while he bounced away from it. “We need to shift things around—this is turning into a battle of attrition and we don’t have the numbers or the time for that,” Bastion warned.“So what do we do?” I shouted back.Bastion looked around briefly while the amphiptere slithered closer. “We lure it somewhere we have an advantage!”He had to move again right after that, the amphiptere putting pressure on him as it tried to gobble him up. I backed up, my job done for the moment. I had to think. Someplace where we had an advantage?I glanced around. The battlefield was, for the most part, flat, with only a few smaller bumps in the terrain and some roads here and there for the quarry workers to use. The biggest hill was the one the amphiptere had been living in, and it was actually a good deal smaller than the monster itself. I imagined there was some large hole underground for it to nestle itself into.The new quarry location didn’t have much going for it. The old quarry though... that was basically a huge hole with some water at the bottom. There wasn’t even that much, and there were spiralling earthen ramps all around it. The quarry was pretty darned big too, especially for something that had likely been dug mostly by hand.“Bastion!” I called out. “The old quarry! Can we make it fall down there?”Bastion grunted as he juked out of the way of a strike. “Maybe! Get to the general, we’ll need his mages. I’ll-” He paused to fly under another frustrated snap. “I’ll start attracting it over!”Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.“Got it!” I shouted before taking off.I had to find the general, which proved difficult. He wasn’t with the mages on the sidelines, or at least, I didn’t see anyone that looked like him with them.Then his fabulous hat saved the day. It was impossible to miss the colourful mane atop the general’s head, even if he was partially hidden behind a line of his troops. They seemed to be manoeuvring away from the amphiptere’s whipping tail, some of them doing their best to resist the sweeping blows that occurred whenever the monster moved while others focused on slashing and cutting at the tail whenever it came near.From what I could tell, it looked more like they were leaving a whole lot of papercuts rather than any big wounds, but they were trying their best, considering the size difference.I hopped over, moving as quick as I could and even bouncing off the giant snake when its undulating movement brought it close enough.“General Holey!” I said as I landed with a heavy thump.“Captain Bunch,” he greeted. “Tighten to the right! If you don’t hold, we’ll all be rotting in the deepest pit with our ancestors by the morning!” He turned back to me. “What can I do for you, captain?”“Bastion is planning on drawing the monster towards the old quarry. We want to make it fall down the pit so that we can hit it from above. We need your mages.”“To weaken the edge so its weight will make it collapse,” he said. “I understand. Here, take this.” The general reached down to his chest piece where a medallion hung. He tore it off and tossed it to me, then pointed to the slight rise where the mages were holding up. “Quick, show that to the lieutenant—tell him of the plan. We’ll be there.”“Got it!” I said.Battlefields, even ones where there was only one big enemy to fight, were more hectic than I’d imagined.I ran and bounced for all I was worth towards the mages, who were still casting spells, though they seemed to be taking small breaks between barrages. Judging by all of the glass bottles littering the ground around them, they were rapidly using up mana to cast so many spells nearly nonstop.“Who’s the lieutenant!” I shouted as I came within hearing.“Aye!” one of the mages said. He has a slightly more elaborate helmet, and a small badge on his chest piece.“Here,” I said, giving him the medallion. He took it, inspected it, then nodded, all in the space of two seconds. “We’re luring the monster to the edge of the old quarry. We need the ground there weakened so that it can fall into the quarry.”“Understood,” he said. “Hold fire! We’re mobilizing!”“Great,” I said.“When is this taking place?” he asked.I half turned and looked out at the fight. It was moving already, the serpent slithering its way after Bastion, who was weaving left and right before it, drawing its attention to him while keeping its pace relatively slow. “Now, I think.”“You might want to inform the other parties then,” the lieutenant said.That made sense. “Good idea,” I said. I glanced at my stamina, saw that I still had plenty left in the tank, then I charged, aiming for the hill where the amphiptere had been staying.The area around the hill was a mess. There were huge boulders all over and smaller rocks strewn about like toys on the floor of a messy kid’s bedroom. I had to watch my bounces as I darted up the hillside.I was breathing hard when I was greeted by a line of soldiers from the Inquisition. They eyed me, uncertain. “I need to talk to the major,” I said.“This isn’t the time for that,” one of the soldiers said.I blinked. “What? It’s about-” I gestured behind me. “That.”“I’ll speak with her!” Major Springsong said. He had a few officers around him, and I noticed that quite a few of his soldiers looked pretty banged up. I guessed they’d been near the worst of it for a while. The crevice, or what was left of it, was only a dozen metres away. It looked as if the stone under the edge of it was almost... melted?That might explain how something so big had fit in there.“Captain Bunch?” the major asked.“Uh, Bastion, that is, Paladin Bastion, is heading over to the old quarry. He’s hoping to lure the amphiptere there. The mole people mages are going to help him so that it falls into the quarry.”“And with it unable to fly... yes, that might work,” the major said. “Thank you, captain.”I started to give him a sloppy salute, then remembered what Bastion said about those. “Uh, right. I’m off to see the commander.”“Did the paladin give you any additional instructions?”I wiggled my tail in thought. “I don’t think so. If he did, I forgot already.”He stared.“Okay, bye!” I said.I went back down the hill. It was a lot easier running downhill than up, of course, so I got a good headstart from that. My destination was the commander, but it seemed as if the commander had guessed what would happen already. His troops were formed up in three smaller groups, all of them hemming in the amphiptere from the sides and harassing it with spears and swords, never giving it the chance to stay still without getting chopped up.The damage each soldier inflicted was small, but it looked as though it was adding up. The amphiptere was bleeding here and there, and while it looked like it could heal fast, it wasn’t outpacing the soldiers.Eventually, the army here would win. That was, as long as nothing went wrong.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Quarry
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Quarry “Hey! Here, here!” I shouted, arms and ears waving above my head.The amphiptere switched its attention from Bastion and stared at me. It wasn’t happy. In fact, it was very clearly growing less and less happy as the minutes went by and the fight dragged on. I could understand it. Bastion had been a very elusive target, and even as it moved the soldiers behind it kept poking and cutting at its tail.We had to keep it distracted though. Twice already the amphiptere had stopped going after Bastion in order to snap and spit at the soldiers behind it, and I’d seen a few of them get hit with droplets of acidic spittle before their shields went up.They’d be fine, I thought. Some sylphs were there to escort the injured to the medics’ tent, and I was pretty sure that the sylphs-who I’d been repeatedly told were the best at medicine-could take care of their own in a hurry.Still, that meant fewer fighters on the field.So I was bouncing and calling out, trying to distract the monster as best I could so that it would leave the army alone and continue its slow slither towards the old quarry.So far, things were going well. Other than a few close calls, Bastion and I were doing good work keeping it moving.Bastion was able to cut and poke at it whenever it came too close. He seemed to be aiming for the eyes, which really annoyed the monster.I didn’t have his skills with a sword... or a sword for that matter. So whenever I could, I flung some Cleaning magic at the monster’s eyes and into its open mouth. I bet it didn’t like having a dry mouth any more than anyone else.“We’re nearly there,” Bastion called out.I glanced back. There was a small line of trees atop a rise in the landscape, one that was too small to be called a proper hill. The molefolk mages were hiding a little ways from there, using the trees as cover even if most of them weren’t much thicker than a closed fist.Past the bump was a wooden fence, and beyond that, the drop.“Broccoli!”I gasped as a shadow fell above me, then I launched myself to the side and crashed on the ground belly first, avoiding the amphiptere slithering over where I would have been.“No distractions!” Bastion called out.“Right!” I shouted back as I rolled over and bounced to my feet. No one wanted a squished bun, least of all the bun in question. I had to be careful while taunting the giant high-level dragon-snake.Bastion launched an attack at the amphiptere’s face. Wide sweeping slices that had the creature flinching back. It twitched to the side, then spat out a gout of acidic spittle that utterly failed to hit Bastion.“Nearly there!” I said as I bounced up and grabbed a hold of the amphiptere’s side. Its big scales had gaps between them, some more than wide enough to grab hold of. There was a lot of dirt and detritus stuck in there. The poor thing probably didn’t clean itself all that often.Climbing up its side proved tough but doable, and in the end, I think it was worth it, especially when I was hanging off its side, within easy reach of the monster’s head. I flung a few balls of Cleaning magic towards its eyes, making it flinch back until it could blink them a few times.Then its large, slitted eye turned and narrowed as it focused on me.“Uh oh,” I muttered.The entire creature rolled onto its side, head whipping down.It was only a lucky jump that allowed me to fling myself off of it before it squished me flat. Still, the impact of its head on the ground made the entire area bounce. Trees lost leaves and pebbles skipped down the side of the old quarry.“Move back,” Bastion said. There was iron in his words; he wasn’t joking around any more. A glance around showed why. We were right on the edge of the quarry. We’d made it.I nodded, beelining for the little patch of roots where the mole people mages were hiding while Bastion distracted the monster again.“Well done,” the same lieutenant I’d spoken to earlier said.“Thanks,” I replied before stumbling over to a boulder. I sat myself down and let out a long breath. My heart was flitting around my chest like a hummingbird, so it was nice to sit back for a breather. “Will you be able to bring it down?” I asked.“Oh, we’ll manage just fine,” the lieutenant said.I watched as the mages spread out. With the sylph soldiers forming a front line before the mages, the amphiptere was being hemmed in against the long drop into the quarry.It would be a terrible drop for a person. More than enough to make it lethal, but then, the amphiptere was pretty big. The drop was only half as deep as it was long. I hoped that would be enough.Bastion flashed through the sky like a brilliant dart, leaving a single long cut along the monster’s face. “Now!” he roared.“Now, now, now!” the lieutenant shouted.All across the line of mages, mole people dropped to their knees, then brought their closed fists down and smacked the ground.After a moment, everything trembled, and I gasped as the earth surged out ahead of the mages.The soldiers before them stumbled, their formation breaking, but the initial wave was nothing compared to what was happening nearer the edge. As each earthen wave bumped into the next, the world buckled, and the ground cracked with a snap like an ice sheet coming apart in a nature documentary.The amphiptere paused, and I saw something like confusion flash in its eyes before the entire cliffside dropped.At first it was only a small drop. The crack running around the edge of the quarry widened, and everything held still.It felt like watching a coin land on its side while spinning. It was holding for now, but there was this immense sense of impending disaster, as if the entire world knew that things were about to go horribly wrong all at once.The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.A noise like a cannon going off echoed across the valley. The ground rumbled. Atop it, the amphiptere spun around on itself and rushed away from the edge.I heard Commander Warmwood shout something, and his troops formed a wall, shields up and magic glowing. Those in the rearmost rows pressed up against the soldiers before them, and they raised a spiked barrier, spears jutting towards the amphiptere.It rammed into the formation, a creature that had to outweigh the gathered soldiers a hundred times over, moving as quickly as it could, heedless of the spears biting into it.And yet, somehow, the formation held. I heard the soldiers shouting with exertion, and I could almost see the magic snapping at the air as they burned what had to be thousands of points to resist the monster’s advance.It was at once terrifying and awesome.And, most important of all, it worked.The ground fell. The entire edge of the quarry gave up with a huge roar, millions of tonnes of stone crashing down into the pit. The noise was so chaotic and loud that I winced and tugged my bun ears down over the sides of my head to protect them.The amphiptere hung onto the edge, and then the soldiers not keeping it at bay attacked it. Spears were thrown like javelins and dozens of fireballs pelted it from every direction.The snake hissed, terror mixing with rage.It tumbled back, its long sinuous form writhing even as its wings spread wide, but that didn’t help it at all.It screeched, the sound loud and piercing, and stronger even than the rumble of the world falling apart.The scaffolding along the edges of the quarry were torn apart in the fall, and then, with a final thud that sent a ripple through the grund, the amphiptere hit the bottom.The snake screamed in pain as sharp edged stones dug into and through its scaly hide, but the scream was drowned out by the rumble of cascading rocks as missing supports failed to keep back sections of crumbling wall.Gradually, the rocks settled and the echoes receded until I could here myself think again. A huge plume of dust poured out of the quarry, thick and gray.The wind turned, sending the wall of dust falling across all of the soldiers and mages on the sidelines. I pushed some of my mana into my Cleaning aura, keeping the worst of it off of me and letting me see what was going on a little better.Some of the soldiers around Commander Warmwood seemed injured. They hobbled back, supporting each other even as others ran in to fill in the gaps in the line. The Inquisition soldiers rushed over, some of them using what looked like wind magic to clear the air, and right behind them were the rest of the mole people warriors.I noticed Bastion moving to the edge of the new cliffside and went to join him. “Is it done?” I asked.“No,” he said. “It’s still alive. Though that did injure it. It isn’t quite pinned, and I suspect it will be able to move out of the quarry relatively easily if we don’t act to keep it down there.”“We’re going to go down to fight it?” I asked.Bastion shook his head. “No. We have the advantage of height. It won’t be glorious or honourable, but this might be the most effective way to fight the amphiptere without anyone getting injured.”“Oh,” I said.Bastion called for General Holey and Commander Warmwood, and soon Major Springsong joined us on the edge of the quarry.I glanced over the edge and saw the amphiptere shake itself out from a pile of stones and dirt, then twist around to right itself. It was in a rough state, the fall having damaged it more than any of the fighting so far.Then the mole people mages moved to the edge of the quarry and started to pelt the monster with Broccoli-sized rocks. It dodged a few, but there were so many that it was still hit. When the soldiers reached the edge and tossed fireballs down as well, things only got worse for the monster.A cart pulled by a pair of donkeys pulled up nearby, a couple of Inquisition soldiers riding at the back. They unloaded boxes filled with bows and barrels filled with arrows. Lines formed, and those soldiers that looked like they were running out of mana grabbed bows and some arrows, then moved to the edge.I think the arrows were enchanted with something—they glowed when fired, and some of them hit with loud bangs, while others buried themselves deep into the amphiptere’s side, rather like the spears of the molefolk..The monster spat acid up at those gathered above it, but other than burning a volley of arrows out of the air, it wasn’t able to reach the very top.I kind of felt bad. It was inherently unfair to fight something that way. Then again, the soldiers weren’t joking or making light of the situation. They were taking this seriously, as if the monster below could still turn around and become a genuine threat.That never happened.Eventually the amphiptere keeled over, the fight beaten out of it.The number of arrows and stones and magic pouring into it increased temporarily increased, then Commander Warmwood called everything to a halt. “Paladin Coldfront, would you finish it?”Bastion nodded. “Give me a moment,” he said.When Bastion jumped down the side of the cliff and started to skid down, I hesitated, then I followed him.I slipped and slid on the loose rock of the cliff, and I had to waggle my arms to keep my balance until I caught up with Bastion near the bottom. He looked at me, then nodded.Carefully, we moved over to the monster.It was still breathing, though only barely.It stared at me, anger plain in its bruised eye. “I’m sorry,” I said as I reached out to pat it.Bastion pulled his sword out of its sheath without any fanfare, then he pressed the end of the blade near the base of the amphiptere’s neck. “Well fought,” he said.A cheer rose up from the top of the quarry as the battle came to a close.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Eight — The Melancholy of Broccoli Bunch
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Eight — The Melancholy of Broccoli Bunch The old quarry still had a road leading down to it, a switchback path on the end nearest the quarry headquarters. That’s where the guards came from, both to inspect the body of the amphiptere, and then to start butchering it.I felt my nose twitch in disgust as the guards started to chop into the poor amphiptere. I had to swing my ears down to cover my eyes.“Are you well?” Bastion asked.I was glad for the distraction. “Yeah, I think,” I said. Physically I was mostly fine. A bit sore from all the running around, but that wouldn’t last. And if I was a bit tired, I could always just take a nap. “How are you?” I asked.Bastion seemed a bit banged up. His armour scuffed and scraped here and there, with a small dent around his lower chest where the metal seemed thinner. The thick cloth padding he wore under his armour was singed on the corners, likely from a bit of that acidic spit. “All things considered, I’m quite well. Good experience.”Oh! I’d forgotten to look at my system messages after the fight.Ding! Congratulations, after a hisstoric battle, you have defeated Sid, Lord of Acid Snakes, Level 32!EXP reduced for fighting as a group!I blinked at the level. That was huge! I’d never fought something so strong before. Though, to be fair, I had had a lot of help. A glance back showed some of the soldiers looking very happy. I figured a few of them had just levelled up from all of that excitement.The name of the amphiptere... that saddened me. Was Sid named by someone? Was the amphiptere someone’s pet at some point?Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Proportion Distortion skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a Free Rank!That skill again! I still didn’t know what it did, or for that matter how I’d used it in the last fight to get it to level up at all.Proportion DistortionE — 00%The ability to fit in and fit out. Your ability to squeeze into tight spaces and fill rooms has improved.That wasn’t all that much more helpful. Was I able to naturally squeeze into smaller spaces now? That sounded kind of useless as far as skills went!I’d have to see what it changed into at Rank C, I guessed.I’d gained a heap of experience with Captaining and with Makeshift Weapon Proficiency, though not quite enough to get either to rank up. I’d need to practice more. The worse thing was that Captaining was actually getting ahead of Hugging Proficiency, which... what kind of terrible friend was I being?“Anything good?” Bastion asked.“Nothing too special,” I said. “No level ups, but I imagine I’m pretty close to my next one.”“Well done,” he said. “This entire battle will be quite the tale, I think.”I sighed. “It didn’t feel like an entirely fair battle,” I said. “It was more like... I don’t know, really. Bullying?”Bastion nodded slowly. “I can see how you’d think that. But I suspect it needed to be done. If the amphipteres didn’t harass civilians so often, maybe we could just leave them be. But that’s not in their nature. They are as prideful as their draconic parents.”“Yeah.” I said, for a lack of anything better to say. “What’s everyone going to do now?”“The Inquisition under Major Springsong are still poking at the crevice the amphiptere came from. The presence of juniors hints that there might be a nest nearby.”“She was a mommy?” I asked.“Uh,” Bastion said. “No, no I’m sure that’s not the case,” he lied, poorly.I tightened my jaw. I wasn’t going to break out in tears or anything like that. I was a big girl. I’d go back home to the Beaver and hug the stuffing out of my friends until I felt better instead.“I suspect that a lot of the meat will find its way back to Granite Springs. If you want you could stake a claim on some of the body. You did participate, and it would be hard to argue that you didn’t do your part.”“Why would I want anything like that?” I asked.Bastion rubbed at his chin. “I’ll take a small portion of the leather on your behalf, if you want. It’s valuable, and given to a good tailor, you could make something nice out of it. Additional armour, or some clothes.” Bastion made a dismissive gesture. “It’s a fair reward.”“I don’t know,” I hedged. It wouldn’t feel right.“Accept it, please,” Bastion said. “It will smooth things out with the commander, and the general as well. They’ll be quite busy in the coming days, I suspect. Moving the quarry over, likely dismantling that dam, and cleaning up the battlefield.”I nodded. There were a lot of guards coming over, with Captain Ward calling out orders from atop the back of a cart loaded up with equipment. The few soldiers that had been injured were being tended to by medics in lighter armour with white marks over their arms and around the top of their helmets.Things seemed calm. “I think... I think I might go back to the Beaver,” I said.“Are you certain?” Bastion asked.I nodded.“Then let me find someone that can carry you back.”I appreciated the gesture. It was a bit rude to not stop and talk to all the new friends I’d made, but sometimes... well, sometimes even my social batteries were spent. I needed a few minutes to myself, maybe with just a close friend or two to cuddle while I got over my blues.Bastion and I moved around the old quarry and to where the quarry workers were gathering to help butcher the amphiptere’s corpse. It wasn’t hard to find some carts heading back to Granite Springs. They needed a bunch of equipment that they didn’t exactly stock at a quarry, and there was talk of getting some local butchers over to help, since they’d actually know what they were doing better than the guards and soldiers.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.I hopped onto the back of a cart after giving Bastion a quick parting hug.The ride back was quiet. The sylph driving the cart paid more attention to the road than anything else, and with the late afternoon sun baking everything into a warm haze, it felt like the sparse forests and all the animals within were feeling too lazy to move about much.I leaned back and stared up into the sky, bright blue, with a few long streaks of puffy white pouring out from the tops of the tallest mountains. This was the first time I was alone since... it had been a while, actually.It was nice, and at the same time it wasn’t. Too quiet. Peaceful, yes, but I wanted to share that peace. To press up against Amaryllis, to hear Awen’s quiet murmurs as she thought about something and ignored the view.I huffed, a very mighty huff.The cart rolled over to Granite Springs, and I thanked the nice driver sylph for the ride before hopping off and making my way into the town. There were still plenty of people around, some of them gathering up in clumps to gossip and speculate.It wasn’t hard to imagine what they’d be speculating about, I’d seen two dozen guardsmen at the quarry, and I couldn’t imagine a town this big having that many guards in all. Plus the army moving out in force. Someone had to have noticed that.I plodded through the streets, a lone, strange bun ignored by just about everyone except for the few odd stares.The docking tower where the Beaver Cleaver was waiting seemed less busy than it had been that morning. The ships being loaded up were mostly gone now, and the crews of sylph that had been working on them were gathered in the shadows of the docks, smoking stinky cigarettes and chatting between each other.I climbed aboard the elevator, took a moment to figure out the controls, then shot up to the topmost floor where I disembarked and continued on to the Beaver. Awen was there to greet me, sitting astride the railing with a book in hand and her armour and coat on. “Hey,” I said.She looked up from her book, and a quick, small smile graced her lips. “Hey Broc,” she said. “You’re back.”“Yeah? Of course I am.”“I thought you might be in trouble,” she said. “So I was ready to start mounting a rescue.”“Why would I be in trouble?” I asked.“Because you’re Broccoli,” Awen said. She giggled at whatever expression I made in response to such a terrible accusation. “I saw the guard all up in a tizzy, and then the army was moving and all the dockhands were gossiping about it and staring at them, so I knew you’d done something.”“You can’t know that I was involved with all of that,” I said.“But you were?” she asked.I crossed my arms. “Maybe.”Awen laughed and leaned to the side to place her book on the deck. Her laugh calmed down. “Are you okay?”“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. I put on a nice smile for Awen.Awen looked at me for a moment, then she swung her leg over the rail, and heedless of the huge drop below, jumped over to land on the deck next to me. “Do you need a hug?” she asked.“I could use a hug, yeah,” I admitted.She raised her arms a bit, and I wrapped mine over her shoulders and pulled her close. I think Awen grew recently, maybe while I wasn’t paying too much attention. I saw her everyday after all. She was still shorter than me by a good bit, but now her head tucked into the crook of my neck just right.“Did you want to talk about it?” Awen asked.“Ah, maybe?”“I think there’s some leftovers from lunch,” she said.“Who made it?”Awen backed out of the hug and gave me a look. Then she glanced aside. “It was Clive.”“Oh, yeah, I haven’t eaten since this morning, I don’t think. I could use something to eat.”“Come on then, you can tell me what you did that got the entire army deployed.”“I didn’t do anything. Just ran a few messages and met some people. Did you know there are molefolk living in Sylphfree? They’re big people, covered in fur.” I bounced over to the Beaver then waited for Awen to jump over as well, just in case she missed the jump.“Mole people? That must be weird,” Awen said.“A bit!” I agreed. “They’re nice though. I think most of them are short-sighted, so they’re very squinty, and they have big teeth, but not the sharp, mean-looking kind. They’re nice though. I didn’t really get to hug them to see how soft they are.”“Is their fur long?”“No no, it’s more like short, rough fur, I think,” I said.“Did you meet them in the city?” Awen asked as she led me down one deck and towards the kitchen.“No no, they were building this big dam way upriver. If they finished it, then it would be terrible for Granite Springs, so Bastion had to convince them not to, which meant that we had to gather the army to fight this big monster called Sid.”Awen tilted her head to the side as she considered all of that. “Broccoli, I think you’re skipping some parts of the story.”“Well, yeah, I had to meet with this major from the inquisition. He wasn’t mean, but he was really inconsiderate. And the commander of the army base. He was nice, but a bit... bossy, I guess? I think he’s a bit of a grumpy older guy, but he still seemed like a good sort of person under all the grump.”“Uh huh, so then what happened?”I grinned and started over, this time from the beginning. It helped a lot, just being home with... my family, I guessed.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Ironclad Hugs
Chapter Two Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Ironclad Hugs “Do you have everything?” Amaryllis asked. Only her head was poking into my room, the rest of her not visible since she was leaning in from the corridor.I looked at my backpack and nodded. “I think so. I guess I’ll be travelling light, huh?”I had my best clothes on, armour atop that, and my spade was waiting for me by the door. My bag was nearly empty though. A few books for the flight, some spare clothes, including the suit I’d worn at that ball, some tea-making supplies, and a couple of hats. My captain-ing hat, my top-hat from that one dungeon, and my turtle helmet that was currently sitting on my head. That was it.“Travelling light is fine,” Amaryllis replied. “We might do some shopping while out in the capital.”I glanced up. “I thought we were going to be doing diplomatic stuff?”“Of course we are,” Amaryllis said with an eye roll. “But that won’t take up the entire time that we’re there. Our mission is important, yes, but for the most part it boils down to delivering a few messages to the right ears. Perhaps offering a few bribes and a bit of proof here and there.”“We’re not going to be bribing people, are we?” I asked.“Oh, not that kind of bribe,” Amaryllis said with a wave of her wing. “But I can make promises on behalf of my family. There’s a lot to be gained from trade between Sylphfree and the Nesting Mountains, trade that would very much be lost in the case of a war.”“That makes sense. Make the merchants want to avoid fighting because fighting would mean making less money.”“Exactly,” Amaryllis said. She stepped into my room fully. She had all of her adventuring gear on, with her dagger strapped by her hip and her feathers looking freshly preened. “I’m ready to head out whenever you are.”I nodded and stuffed a blanket into my pack. Getting caught without a blanket, or at least a towel, would be terribly silly. “I’m ready too!” I picked up my turtle-shell hat from next to the door and wiggled my ears into the helm’s ear-holes. It always made my fur go the wrong way when I put that on.Amaryllis and I peeked into Awen’s room while I rubbed my ears straight. “Hey Awen,” I said.The mechanic looked up to me from the floor. She was on her knees next to an open duffle bag filled with all sorts of tools and knick-knacks that looked like they were on the heavier side.At least it meant she was finally picking up her room. So many loose things were probably a hazard if we did any maneuvering.“Oh, awa, hi,” she said. “I’m nearly done?”“Did you pack anything other than tools?” Amaryllis asked.Awen looked down at her bag, then blinked. “Oh, I guess I’ll need another bag for clothing and toiletries.”“I guess I can help,” I said as I stepped in, careful not to place a foot on anything sharp-looking. “Do you have a second bag?”“Yes, here,” Awen said. She found a backpack in one of her drawers, under to even more tools, and set it on the ground next to me.“Right!” I said. “You’ll want some formal wear, maybe that pretty dress from the ball? And some everyday stuff. Your armour, of course, in case of adventuring. Don’t forget to bring enough underthings too. One for each day, plus one more in case of emergencies.”“B-Broccoli!” Awen whined.“Oh, right, I guess I can just use Cleaning magic if anything happens.”“That’s not what I meant, Broc,” Awen groused. She pouted at me, and I couldn’t help but grab her and give her a hug. What did I do to deserve so many cute friends?“Come on, let’s pack up the rest and head out, I don’t think we’re risking being late, but it’s only polite to arrive early.”“I’m certain they would wait for us,” Amaryllis said. “Though this is a sylph transport. They might be a little anal about punctuality.”"Some people are like that,” I agreed.We finished packing up Awen’s things in a jiffy, then climbed back to the top deck. The rest of the crew was there waiting for us. Clive was the first to step up. “Captain.”“Clive,” I said. “You’re in charge of the Beaver while we’re off. Keep him in tip-top if you can. Just do your best!”“Aye aye, captain,” Clive said. “We’ll be done patching him up to new in a day or two at most. Lady Albatross left us with plenty of resources, if we need ‘em.”“Well done then,” I said. I spread my arms wide, and the old harpy chuckled as he accepted the hug.Next were Steve and Gordon, both of them saluting easily as I approached. “Have a safe trip, ma’am,” Steve said.“You’ll have to tell us what the capital is like, once you’re back,” Gordon replied.“I’ll try to remember to grab souvenirs!” I said. “Hugs?”My hugging Proficiency was getting so much experience today!The Scallywags were next, all three of them standing together. Joe looked a bit sour, but that was par for the course. The other two looked just fine. “You three keep safe, alright?” I asked. “And if you find better work around here, at least stick around so that I can give you even more hugs when I return, alright?”More hugs were had!Then it was down to the very last-but most important-member of the crew. “Did you want to come with us?” I asked Orange.The cat looked up to me. At some point, she’d gone from being a spirit kitten to being a spirit... teen? Young cat? Whatever the next step was. She was about as tall as my knee when standing up on her hind-legs, which she didn’t do often enough.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.Orange looked up to me, then stood and did a figure-eight around my ankles. “Oh! You do want to come! Well then, is there anything you want to bring? I don’t know if you have any toys or anything. Actually, we should get you some toys, shouldn’t we?”Orange pounced up and installed herself on my shoulder, tail tapping the shoulder opposite the one she was resting on. I scratched her tummy fluff while she was there.“Okay,” I said before turning around. I glanced around the Beaver. It might be a few days before I got to see him again. “We’ll see you all super soon,” I declared.The four of us jumped off the Beaver and landed onto the dock. Orange cuddled closer so that she wouldn’t bounce off with the motion. The docks were lively and filled with people moving about. A few ships had arrived recently, and they were being unloaded by teams of dockworkers while freight was being shifted about, ready to head out once the newly arrived vessels took off again.Our destination was all of three ships over from the Beaver.Her name (or at least I think the ship was a girl-ship) was the Little Atlas, but she wasn’t all that little.From bow to stern the Little Atlas was twice as long as the Beaver Cleaver and almost as wide.Unlike the Beaver the ship didn’t have a very ship-like appearance. She was a lot boxier, with a prow that was angular and a hull that seemed to be entirely made of steel plates riveted in place.Amaryllis, Awen and I moved out of the way of a group of sylphs pushing a cart loaded with boxes freshly transferred off of the Little Atlas. We waited for the coast to be clear before stepping up to the ship. There were a few planks set up to allow people to cross over, and one of those had the person that I figured had to be the captain.She was a sylph that I suspect was on the shorter side, only coming up to my chest, but her captain’s hat more than made up for it. It was a very nice, stately hat, a bicorn with a few smaller feathers on the side and a nice badge pinned to the other.“Hello!” I called out with a wave that I hoped was properly jaunty.The captain looked up from some papers she was flipping through and looked our way. She said something to one of her crew then stepped over and folded her arms at the small of her back. “Greetings. May I help you?” she asked.“Yes ma’am,” I said. “I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch, and these are my companions. We have a, uh, charter onboard your ship today.” I glanced to the side, just to make sure the name on the side of the ship was right. It did say the Little Atlas in big bun-high letters.“Ah, I see. Yes, I received word about your arrival,” the captain said as she pulled out her papers and checked through them. “A little early, but better than late. It says here you would be four? Including a... Paladin?”“That’s probably Bastion, he’s a bit busy, I think. I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon, but I doubt he’ll be late, that’s just not like him.”“I see. I’m Captain Risa Galebane, of the Snapdragon Transportation consortium. It’s a pleasure to meet a fellow captain.” She extended a hand to shake, and I leaned forwards to grab it. She had a good grip.“I’m still very new to the job, so I’d love to hear any advice you have,” I said. Also, she had the coolest name for an airship captain. Way better than “Bunch.”“I’d love to share a meal, perhaps once we’ve taken off,” Captain Galebane said.“So, permission to come aboard?” I asked.“Granted,” she replied, a slight smile twitching up the corners of her lips before she gestured back onto the ship.We climbed aboard, and I couldn’t help but stare around. There was a balloon overhead, one that was nearly as large as the ship itself. There had to be a lot of gravity generators on board to compensate for the small size of the balloon. The ship didn’t have as many sails as the Beaver, but it did have a lot more propellers. Two on the side, one at the front in a large housing, and a large one at the rear.“Interesting design,” Amaryllis commented. “I think we experimented with multi-prop configurations like this before, but we never found it all that efficient.”“The gearing must be so complicated,” Awen said. “Unless they have multiple engines, which would bring a whole host of other problems along.”“I can imagine,” I said.Someone ran up to us, a younger sylph who bowed before us. “Hello, and welcome aboard the Little Atlas. Can I assist you with your things? I’ll be showing you to the guest quarters.”“Sure,” I said. “That would be really nice of you.”Awen handed him her dufflebag, which was the only non-backpack bag we had. He hugged it close, then with a grunt of effort, led us to the rear of the ship where a door was placed under the quarterdeck. We went down a level and past a large cargo hold, parts of the ceiling set aside to make room for packages being lifted out by the ship’s crew.The quarters we had were at the very front of the ship, a small section behind a door with a little living area and some rooms to the sides. They were smaller even than the rooms aboard the Beaver, barely more than a bed and a door, but they’d do for the trip.“Thank you,” I said. “I think we’re going to have a great flight.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty — Captain's Logs
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty — Captain's Logs Squaring things away didn’t take long, not with the size of our rooms and the few things we brought. I don’t think anyone had plans to really get changed for what would be a day-long flight.“So, we’ll be reaching the capital before night, right?” I asked.Amaryllis situated herself on a bench at the very front of the passenger quarters. There was a small porthole there, but because we were at dock, all there was to see were some metal struts a meter or so away from the window. “I think so, yes. It would depend on when we leave. They’re still unloading the ship.”“Really? How do you know?” I asked. The noises from the other side were all clangs and bangs, nothing really telling.Amaryllis pointed to the window. “We’re rising, slowly, but it’s visible.”“Huh,” I said. “You’re such an observant bird.”She huffed.“I wonder if I can look around the ship later,” Awen asked.The door leading into our compartment opened and Captain Galebane slid into the room and clicked the door shut behind her. “I would be honoured to show you around,” she replied. “We have a mechanic aboard, all ships do as a matter of protocol, but he’s an apprentice from Goldenalden. A little wet behind the ears, but well-meaning.”“Hello captain,” I said. “Your ship’s very neat.”“Why thank you,” she replied. “I came to ensure that you were all settled in. My first mate is taking care of things above. He needs the experience as well.”“That’s two new people on your crew,” Amaryllis said.The captain nodded. “Indeed. I think over half the crew is green, or nearly so. Most of the better sailors have been dragged off to the navy. Promises of better pay and the like are robbing us of a lot of good experienced people.”“That’s unfortunate,” I said.The captain shrugged a shoulder. “It is what it is. I don’t blame them for accepting more gainful employment, even if it might only be on the shorter term.”“Aren’t you worried? Such a green crew can be troublesome,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, there’s no worry. Most of those green sailors are from the navy. Sylphfree allows companies in good standing to hire personnel to train them further and give them a bit of applicable experience. It means that part of their wages are covered, and the navy gains more people who have a wider breadth of experience.”“That’s clever,” I said. “Our crew is pretty mixed, experience-wise.” The captain was being very forthcoming about things. I looked at her, and had the impression she hadn’t had the opportunity to rant about things in a good while.Captain Risa nodded. “Your ship is that... interesting twin-hulled vessel? I saw it while coming in to dock.”“That’s the Beaver Cleaver, yeah,” I said. “He’s a good little ship. Though I guess he’s a little weird-looking.”“Certainly unique,” the captain agreed. “Have you been a captain for long, Captain Bunch?”“Nope!” I said. “It’s been... uh, about... a week?” How long ago did we leave the Nesting Kingdom? I know that I spent a few days sick, so that might have been throwing off my sense of time.“A week,” she repeated.“A very busy week,” I agreed. “We got off track over the Darkwoods, then we ended up stopping a smaller war between a big company and some dryads, then we visited Needleford where Awen was kidnapped by pirates. We damaged their ship-wait, is it sinking a ship if the ship is an airship?”“It is,” she said.“Cool! I thought so, because ships kind of sink out of the air,” I said. “Not that we sank the pirate ship. We just did a number on their engines.”Awen looked like she was holding back a giggle, and Amaryllis just shook her head and pulled a book out from her bags and started to read it.“You took out a pirate vessel?” Captain Risa asked. “I’ll admit, I have ten years as a captain, but they were mostly safe. Other than a few run-ins with some nasty creatures, I’ve never had the misfortune of fighting a pirate aboard my vessel.”“Oh, we didn’t use the Beaver for that. We used a skiff. The pirate was called Golden Rogers, and he’s a nasty, mean guy.”“A skiff?”“Like, a really small boat that flies?”“I’m aware of what a skiff is. What sort of vessel did the pirates have?” she asked.“Uh,” I replied. I couldn’t recall the name of the ship. “It was quite big. Maybe half again the size of your ship? But more water-ship like. His crew was rather large, I think. But we managed to save Awen, even though she’d mostly managed to save herself, really.”“It was called the Golden Grove’s Revenge,” Awen said. “And it couldn’t operate because I destroyed the engines and I think Broccoli lit the insides on fire.”“Just a little,” I said. “It was me, Amaryllis, and Bastion. It was very scary.”“Three of you took on a pirate ship?” Captain Risa didn’t sound entirely convinced.I crossed my arms. “I can hold my own in a fight, you know. And Amaryllis is scary too. Not to mention Bastion. He’s a paladin, so he’s great at butt-kicking.”“Ah,” she said with a nod. I had the impression that everything just clicked for her. The people in Sylphfree seemed to think very highly of paladins. “I suppose that it was quite the adventure.”“I know! And that was only in the first three days! Then we got to Innsmouth, fought in two dungeons, then we ran into some very angry cry and had not one, but two battles in the air against them! They have rocket-powered planes and airships, but it turned out okay because we have Awen and we made some cry friends. Did you know that lasers are terrible for airships?”This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.“I can imagine?”“They really are. We ended up almost-crashing on the Lonely Island,” I said.“The penal colony?” she asked.I nodded. “That’s the one.”“I imagine that must have been harrowing, landing in a place so hostile,” Risa said. She smiled as if it was entirely self-evident.“Huh? No, not really? I mean, the airship fight we had over the island was scary but the people of the island were pretty nice. Not super welcoming, and I wish we had more time to spend there so that I could make proper friends there, but they seemed about as nice as the people from Granite Springs, for example.”“Ah.”“Anyway, then we made it here after some repairs. And that’s about all the adventures we’ve had since launching the Beaver Cleaver. It’s been a busy week and a bit.”“I... see,” the captain allowed.The door to the passenger quarters opened, and in walked Bastion, looking as fresh as ever with a bag by his side and some equipment in a sack slung over his shoulder. “Bastion!” I called out as I bounced to my feet. “I was getting worried.”“Hello, Broccoli,” he said. “Amaryllis, Awen, and you must be Captain Galebane?”The captain stood taller. “Indeed. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” she said.“Likewise, captain. Your first mate gave me permission to board, but I had hoped to meet you at some point.”“O-oh?” Risa asked. Was she blushing?“It’s nothing very urgent,” he said. He tossed his bag into one of the rooms where it landed on the bed with a thump. “Were you entertaining others?”“Broccoli was telling her of our adventures,” Amaryllis said off-hand. She turned the page in her book. “As it turns out, Broccoli has a gift for understating things in such a way that they sound grander than they were. It’s outright bizarre.”“I didn’t exaggerate anything,” I said.“You didn’t,” Amaryllis agreed. “If anything you did the opposite, but you also listed more wild adventures than most sane people would experience in a lifetime.”I wiggled my ears in thought. That made sense, I supposed, we had been through a lot together. “I kind of like having big adventures though,” I said. “It’s fun. But... well, do you guys like that kind of thing?”Amaryllis snorted. “It’s harrowing and terrifying, but you have no idea how rapid our growth is compared to most.”Awen shrugged. “Uncle’s stories were about as full of adventure, so I think it’s kind of normal.”“I’m not sure if using Abraham Bristlecone as a measuring stick is entirely wise,” Bastion said. “But I suppose compared to the likes of him, this crew’s travels have been quite calm.”I grinned. For all that the passenger section on the Little Atlas was a bit cramp and spare, it was still a lively, happy place. Mostly because it was filled with so many nice people in it. “How did things go?” I asked. “With the general and the commander and all the soldiers?”“Relatively well,” Bastion said. “The... event fell into disarray once the main threat was eliminated. Fortunately, it was the better sort of disarray. Some of the miners had cooking equipment, and the mole people brought some barrels of mushroom ale and shared it around. There was something of a party, though I doubt the official reports will call it that.”I laughed. “That’s great. It’ll give everyone a chance to make friends.”“Indeed,” Bastion said. “There are some crates of salted meat coming with us, as well as some decently large segments of amphiptere leather. A fine reward for a day’s work.”“I'll ensure that everything is properly secured, sir paladin,” Risa said with a small salute.“Thank you, Captain. But I’m certain that your crew will do a fine job. Now, if no one minds, I haven’t slept since yesterday, I’m quite overdue for some rest.”I raised my arms for a hug as Bastion moved by, and he allowed me to give him a quick squeeze. More experience! And more hugs too!“If anyone needs me, then feel free to wake me up,” he said before carefully closing the door to his quarters.Captain Risa placed her hands over her face. “I didn’t offer him my cabin,” she muttered.“I don’t think he minds,” I said. “Bastion seems like a simple sort of guy. Anyway! We have a long trip ahead of us, is there anything you do for fun? Usually on the Beaver I’m too busy doing captain things or training. I like both, but I don’t think we can do either here.”“I’ll bring over a deck of cards,” Captain Risa said. “Maybe I can teach you a few games later. There are a few that are quite popular with the crew, and there are the more noble games, of course.”“Noble games?” I asked.Amaryllis lowered her book. “Some card games are considered lowbrow, often depending exclusively on chance; more involved games are customarily the purview of the nobility. They tend to be a little more complex and rely more on deception and one’s ability to read people than on pure luck, though there’s usually some element of luck at play.”“Oh! Why didn’t we ever play any of those?” I asked.“Because you have about as much chance to deceive someone as a puppy has of hiding a misdeed,” Amaryllis said. “And at the same time, your ability to read people would make playing against you just plain irritating. You’d be at once a terrible opponent and a terrible player.”“I bet I could beat you though,” I said with my smuggest grin on.Amaryllis carefully dog-eared the top corner of the page she was on and set her book down. “Captain, would you be so kind as to get that deck? I have to teach my dear friend here a lesson she’s unlikely to ever forget.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-One — Airtime Naptime
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-One — Airtime Naptime Amaryllis glared at the cards on the table.Then, with slow and careful solemnity, I lowered my hand next to those cards. “Flush,” I said.The corner of Amaryllis’ eyes twitched. ‘You didn’t cheat,” she said.“I’d never,” I said. ‘That would be unfair and mean, only bad friends cheat.”“And you never even tried to bluff.”“I’m not good at lying,” I admitted.“How?” Amaryllis asked. She let her own hand fall next to mine, a bunch of cards with numbers on their tops and coloured shapes in their middle splaying out across the table. “How?”“I guess I got lucky?”Amaryllis stood up suddenly, her chair squeaking back. “I’m going to go read. At least the pages in my books don’t have Dirt’s own luck on their side.”I held back a giggle. It wouldn’t be nice to laugh at Amaryllis. She was making an effort to be a good sport about losing too, even though this was the fifth round she lost. We weren’t even betting anything, mostly because I insisted that gambling was wrong.We had started playing with four of us. Amaryllis and Captain Risa explaining the rules, and Awen joining in even though she didn’t seem to get it, entirely.The captain had to run off to do captaining stuff, which was fair, and I think Awen just found the game a bit boring.Which meant that now I was all alone at the card table.Sighing, I picked things up and shuffled the deck idly for a moment before fitting it back into its box. It was the captain’s deck, so I didn’t want any of the cards bent or stained or anything.I leaned back into my seat and glanced out of the nearest porthole. We were moving, that much was obvious. Mountains surrounded the Little Atlas on all sides, their sheer walls passing by at a slow crawl. The cargo ship felt like it was heavy, big, and cumbersome, despite the amount of lift it needed to stay afloat.The Beaver could likely fly circles around this ship, but we weren’t in the Beaver.I was a little bored, which was a nice change of pace from the high-energy excitement I’d been going through nearly every day for such a long while. Still, I wanted something to do. I couldn’t practice most magics in a confined place, and it might be rude to cast spells in someone else’s ship besides. Training physically was right out. The passenger quarters were small and a bit cramped, and already pretty warm.Standing up, I moved towards my little room. Maybe I could flop down in bed and just take a nap? That felt very unproductive, but at least it was something to do.I saw Amaryllis engrossed in a book in her room, then I crossed by Awen’s quarters and saw her on her back, staring at the ceiling.Maybe I wasn’t the only bored one?I walked to Awen’s door and knocked. “Bored?” I asked.Awen tilted her head up. “Yeah, a little.”I stepped in, then sat on the edge of her bed. She scooted over, so I flopped down next to her, put my feet up on the bed, then stared up at the ceiling too. “I’m bored too.”“There's nothing to tinker.”“I can’t make friends with the crew because they’re working.”Awen bobbed her head. “Boring.”“Yup.”If I leaned my head back a bit I could see out of the porthole in her room. It was mostly cloudy skies, but once in a rare while a mountain’s peak would float by. “Do you know anything fun about the capital?” I asked.“You mean Goldenalden?” Awen asked. “Not really. I guess there’s a lot of sylph there. And there’s some gold, I guess.”“That makes sense, with a name like that.”“Yeah, the sylph are supposed to be very rich. They have a lot of mines all around their nation, and a big army. I don’t know if they do a lot of trade with Mattergrove. We’re far away.”“There’s a whole mountain range between the two of you, and like... at least two other countries.” I squinted as I tried to remember where the nations were. ‘Unless they go all the way around, like we sort of did.”“They could come in from the north too, to the south of the Snowlands,” Awen said. “That’s Trenten Flat’s territory, but they only started to colonize that later, so it’s still very wild.”“Huh,” I said. “The entire bit to the north of your home is all independent, right? Like Rosenbell was.”“Mostly, yeah,” Awen said.“We should visit there someday. And we should go all the way west.”“To Pyrowalk?” Awen asked. “I hear that it’s a very weird place. Sometimes we’d get visitors from there.”“Oh, and the Ostri desert too. And whatever is beyond Pyrowalk. Maybe we could even find out what's south of the known world, off the bottom edge of the maps.”Awen giggled. “There’s a lot of places you want to visit.”I nodded. “I want to visit all the places. And see all the cool things, and make even more friends. I have a very long bucket list, you know. I didn’t think I’d get to check off ‘ride a dragon’ so early.”“I’d like to visit the Snowlands,” Awen said. “It’s cold, but they have a lot of machines, and everyone says that their airships are the best in the world.”“Then we should go there,” I said. “Maybe after all this stuff in Sylphfree is done?”“That would be nice.”“Yeah, I think so too.” I yawned, jaw cracking and ears shivering in delight. I should have gotten up and moved, but instead I shifted a bit on the bed and kept on staring at the ceiling. Getting up takes way too much energy.“I’m sure we’re going to...” Awen paused to yawn herself. “Have plenty of adventures after this one.”“Mmhmm,” I agreed. “Maybe one day we’ll have to settle down or something, but I hope not.”“Uncle Abraham never settled down.”“That’s right,” I agreed. Things were a little fuzzy, and I couldn’t help but blink at the ceiling a bunch. There was some warmth coming in through the window. Did we fly over the clouds at last? It was nice.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.Awen shuffled next to me, and I felt her head settling in next to my shoulder, so I leaned to that side.My eyes closed, and suddenly I was asleep.“Broccoli?” Someone shook my shoulder and I blinked awake. Awen was leaning over me, blonde hair tucked behind her ears. “Broccoli, I can’t get out.”“Huh?” I asked before a yawn cut me off. I looked around and... yeah, I was between Awen and the edge of the bed. And next to me was Orange, currently rolled up into a furry ball with her face tucked in close to her middle. The sort of puffball cat-shape that looked very nice to pet, but that would inevitably lead to scratches if touched. I carefully swung my legs over the edge and sat up.“It’s okay,” Awen said. “I think we’re nearing the city.”“We are? How long was I sleeping for?”“I don’t know, I took a nap too,” Awen said.I wobbled to my feet, thankful that Cleaning magic made sleeping with my shoes on acceptable, then I wandered over to the doorway. Amaryllis was sitting at the little table we’d been playing cards at, along with a Bastion who was finishing off a plate of something that smelled nice, and Captain Risa was there.“Hey,” I said as I stumbled closer. I flopped onto the seat next to Amaryllis. “Where are we?”“About twenty kilometres from the capital,” Captain Galebane answered. “We should be within visual range within the next ten to twenty minutes. Which means, unfortunately, that I’ll need to head back up.”“That’s too bad,” Awen said as she joined us and sat next to Bastion. “We didn’t get to talk much.”“Do you think you could show us the capital from above?” I asked.“That should be doable, yes,” the captain said. She stood up. “If you want anything to eat, Captain Bunch, Miss Bristlecone, then there should be some left in the mess. I’ll be moving to the topdeck, I need to keep an eye on the crew as we come in for docking maneuvers.”“Those are pretty tricky,” I said. “Can we eat on the top deck?”“As long as you stay out of the way, you should be fine,” she said.I stood right after the captain, then stretched until my toes and ears both shivered in delight. “I’m going to grab a bite and see the sights!” I said.“I guess I’ll come with you,” Awen said as she stood up too.“Oh! I didn’t say hi to Bastion!” I waved to Bastion. “Hi Bastion.”The sylph grinned. “Hello Broccoli,” he replied. “Sleep well?”“It was a good nap. Been a while since I had one of those. What about you?”“Well enough. I think I might have a hard time sleeping on anything that isn’t an airship. I’m growing quite used to the constant rocking.”“It is nice,” I agreed. “Will you join us later? I bet you know the capital really well! You too, Amaryllis.”“I’ll see it in due time,” Amaryllis replied. “You enjoy yourselves.”“I’ll finish up my meal first,” Bastion said.I nodded, then with a final wave goodbye, skedaddled. The mess, as it turned out, was a section at the rear of the ship’s bottom deck where a small kitchen was tucked away. I think the stove used the same flue as the engine above to spew out any smoke it created. The chef, a big burly fellow (for a sylph) with a big apron and a bigger smile, was more than happy to give Awen and I a pair of bowls full of still-piping-hot stew and some wooden spoons to eat it with.Awen and I moved up to the top deck where sailors were busy spooling ropes, adjusting sails, and chatting amongst themselves. Mostly it looked as if the Little Atlas’ crew was doing busywork while staying sharp in case they were needed.I guess that on a bigger crew, that was going to happen a lot. Moments of hectic work when they were nearing or leaving port, but then long drawn-out times when there wasn’t much to do.We moved up to the foredeck. The ship didn’t have a figurehead, which was really a shame. Still, we installed ourselves by the rails there and blew across our stews while a chill wind breezed by. I had the impression that we weren’t all that high off the ground, relatively speaking. It was likely all the mountains around us providing all of that chill.Goldenalden appeared before us as we went around a particularly sharp mountain top.“Whoa!” I said as the city stretched out before us.I’d been to some pretty big places in my admittedly short time on Dirt. Awen’s home city was pretty big, sprawling out across a large patch of arid land. And Port Royal was quite large, the way it was split on multiple levels lending it a sense of grandness. Even Fort Sylphrot was pretty big. That city was built up rather than out.Goldenalden was so much bigger. It spilled out over the sides of a mountain that looked as though it was shaved off at the top. Plateaus all around, built on dozens of terraces that formed walls.That wasn’t to mention the actual walls around the city.It was obvious that whomever had designed it had added more walls as the city grew. There was a maze of stone walls cutting all across the city, but none were as impressive as those on the exterior, huge slabs of stacked stone with guard towers every hundred metres or so.They didn’t compare to the Gray Wall, but they were still really cool!There wasn’t just one port, but at least five of them that I could see. With airships big and small docked in place, and dozens of them dotting the skies around the city and either moving towards or away from it. And that wasn’t including the military airships. Small, boxy ships like the ones that escorted the Beaver back in Granite Springs were constantly moving around the city, like schools of metal fish in the sky.At the very top of the city was a castle, an imposing, blocky building with towers all around it, all topped with golden roofs.“Pretty, isn’t she?” Captain Galebane asked as she walked up next to us. She looked proud, and for good reason.“It’s gorgeous,” I said. “I can’t wait to see it for myself!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Two — Final Destination
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Two — Final Destination The Little Atlas flew into the busy port on the eastern end of Goldenalden with short, jerky motions. I didn’t notice on the flight over to the capital, but the ship didn’t fly with the sweeping grace of a ship like the Beaver Cleaver but instead moved with careful, nearly robotic precision.Once we were within the port, a large mechanical arm rose from below, metal fingers longer than the Atlas coming up on either side where the crew tossed ropes out and hooked the ship into place. Then the arm folded itself back and pulled the Little Atlas into an empty berth where another crew flew over and tied everything up.The berth was exactly the right size for the ship to fit into. A glance above revealed a sign that read Little Atlas, along with a bunch of numbers next to it. So this was a space specifically designed for this one ship. Neat!“And there we have it,” Captain Galebane said as she stepped away from the helm.I clapped politely. “That was some very nice flying,” I said.“Ah, it’s hardly a challenge here,” she said. “Goldenalden is one of the premiere ports in the world. Plenty of tools to help a captain guide their cargo in.”I nodded, but in reality I wasn’t paying all that much attention. It was rude, true, but there were so many things to see! The sounds alone were making my ears twitch left and right. Ships coming in to dock and leaving, engines thumping away, cranes moving with hydraulic hisses to grab and unload cargo. Teamsters leading huge horses around with wagons loaded up behind them.I flinched as a trio of teeny-tiny airships roared by above, leaving a faint gaseous trail in the air behind them.It stank, like a highway with a traffic jam.The mountain air swept in a moment later and washed all of that away, though it brought a shiver-inducing breeze with it. I grinned. It was the nice kind of cold, dry and fresh. Awen’s clacking teeth suggested that she wasn’t as ready for it as I was.“We should go get our things,” I said. “Awen, you might want to grab a sweater to wear under your coat.”“That sounds like a great idea,” Awen said. “Bye captain.”“Ah, I’ll be here to show you off properly,” Captain Galebane said with an easy smile. “I do hope you enjoy your time in Goldenalden. It’s the greatest city in the world for a reason.”“We’ll do our best,” I said.The whole crew were running about, hard at work, which meant that Awen and I had to be careful not to get in anyone’s way, especially those carrying stacks of stuff so high that they couldn’t see over ahead of them.We arrived at the passenger quarters to find Amaryllis stuffing her book away in a bag. “Ah, you’re finally back,” she said.“Yup! The city’s really pretty!”“I’ve heard of it, yes,” Amaryllis said. “I look forward to judging that for myself.”“I bet you’ll like it,” I said. “Do, ah, you know where we’re going now?” I looked to her, then to Bastion who was tugging on his armour.The paladin was the first to reply. “Technically, your group are diplomats. There are inns specifically for diplomats and richer merchants in the Purple District. They are expensive, but their proximity to the city centre and to the Gold District makes them worthwhile, at least if you intend to travel to both frequently.”“That sounds perfect,” I said. “We’re still a bit behind schedule, aren’t we?”Amaryllis nodded. “We are, though I don’t think it matters as much anymore. Did you notice if the harpy ship is in port?”“I didn’t, but there’s more than one port, and a lot of ships out there.”“Then we’ll need to see if we arrived first. If so, then the amount of time we have before us will determine a lot in regards to what we can do.”“You know, I don’t actually know what we’re supposed to be doing. Other than warning people about the war stuff,” I said.“Leave that to me,” Amaryllis said. “Once we have a place to roost, we’ll draw up a more proper plan, one that’s informed and that takes into account the lay of the land, so to speak. Learning about local rumours and the like will be part of that. I don’t suppose Goldenalden has a newspaper?”“It does,” Bastion said. “A few of them, at that. There are a few political parties and groups of some import in the capital, they’ll usually have their own papers. There’s also the state-funded paper, which is mostly dedicated to well-researched news.”I was really looking forward to walking around and just exploring the city now. Seeing new cultures, eating new foods, meeting new friends. I was holding back the giggles. I was so excited!I grabbed my bag and my spade, then made sure all of my gear was properly cinched up. I came out of my little cabin to find Bastion looking me up and down. “I should warn you, while in the provincial towns and other cities it’s fine to carry a weapon, it’s not legal to carry an unsheathed weapon in the capital. Though that law in particular isn’t enforced all that well.”“But we’re strange and foreign looking,” Amaryllis said. “So any law officer might decide to make an example of us.”“You will certainly attract a lot of attention just by appearing to be different than most,” Bastion said. “As long as I’m there you should be fine.”“Ah, but... you’re not going to be with us for very long, will you?” I asked. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge in my tummy at that. I didn’t want to lose a friend just yet.Bastion nodded. “I’ll be returning to the garrison tonight. I can still escort you to a safe place and fend off any trouble until then. I have... a lot to report. But I’m certain we’ll be seeing more of each other.”I nodded. “I’m warning you now, there’s going to be a whole heck of a lot of hugging when we say goodbye.”Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.Bastion chuckled. “Certainly.”We grabbed all of our stuff. Amaryllis grumbled a bit as she stuffed her dagger away into her backpack. I didn’t know what to do with my spade, but Awen helped by wrapping a cloth around the blade.The advantage of a Makeshift Weapons Proficiency was that it didn’t really harm my ability to use it if I needed to. I could still send magic into the spade until it glowed with Cleaning magic. Not that I expected to need it.I led my friends back out of the ship and to the topdeck where I found Captain Galebane speaking with someone that looked official, clipboard and all. I didn’t want to leave without saving goodbye properly, so I waited around just a bit for her to finish up.“We’re heading off,” I said as soon as she was done.“I see that,” Risa said. “It was an honour to have you aboard the Little Atlas, Captain Bunch. And you as well, Sir Coldfront.”“What are we, roost feathers?” Amaryllis muttered too low for the captain to hear.“Goodbye hug?” I asked.“Pardon?” she asked.So I pulled her into a tight glomp and squeezed her good and proper before letting go. The captain was a bit red in the face after that. “We’ll see each other again, I’m sure! And by then we’ll have even more awesome stories to tell about sky captaining!”“Ah, y-yes, I’m sure,” she replied.The bunch of us walked over to the docks. There was a gangway over the ship’s rails where sylphs were unloading crates. We waited for a moment where it wasn’t as busy and hopped over to the docks.After that we walked to the edge of the port. My head was on a swivel, turning this way and that to see as much as I could. It was giving my poor ears whiplash.“No harpy ships,” Amaryllis muttered.“Where do we go now?” I asked.“I’ll bring you to a reputable inn,” Bastion said. “It’ll be a good place to base yourselves out of while you’re in Goldenalden.”“Neat!” I said.I crossed my arms behind my head and enjoyed the walk.Goldenalden reminded me-out of all the cities I’d seen so far-of Fort Sylphrot in the Harpy Mountains. Unlike that city, buildings here were built tall rather than long. The roads below were mostly, it seemed, used to carry stuff, with wide paths where carts could roll by on either side.There was only a thin sidewalk to one side, one where older sylph and those with big packs that prevented them from flying were moving along with easy efficiency. It seemed as if there was something of an unwritten-or maybe it was written and I just hadn’t read it yet!-code that let older people and pregnant sylph ladies pass first.I craned my neck back as we walked. “What’s at the top?” I asked. I could see sylph flitting by above us, quick shadows that passed faster than I could follow.“Most homes have a small garden and greenery above them, as well as a small outcrop where they have their roof access. That’s generally the main entrance to a home or building,” Bastion said. “Mostly it’s a small staircase and a place to change out of your boots. I should add that it’s considered impolite to walk into a house wearing your outdoor shoes, with some exceptions.”“Huh, alright,” I said.“Most homes will have a greeting room on the topmost floor. If the building has multiple homes, then it’s likely to be a communal area. Shops will use the space for displays.” Bastion shrugged. “Once you’ve seen a few, you’ll see what I mean.”“I look forward to it!” I said.“It might be tricky for non-sylphs. The air is our home, and it means that a lot of construction isn’t designed for those destined to only travel in two dimensions.”“Hey now, I can jump around with the best of them,” I said.Bastion chuckled. “Fair enough. Most places should be accessible from the ground, at least public spaces. We need to account for the older and those who are injured, not to mention the pregnant.”“So, sylphs don’t lay eggs,” I surmised.Bastion turned to stare at me. “No, no we don’t.”“Good to know!”Amaryllis trilled in happy laughter. I think she was enjoying Bastion’s confused look more than anything else. That set Awen and I off, both of us joining her with a chorus of giggles.Bastion shook his head. “The city is divided into districts. See that?” He pointed up to where a wide banner hung on a pole that stretched way up and over the tops of the nearest buildings. There were two banners, one hanging from both sides of a “t” shaped post at the top. One had a fancy symbol on it, white cloth with gold gilding. The other was entirely red.“We’re in the Red District now. Mostly housing, some small family-run shops that have been around for centuries. You can navigate the city by looking for one of those. They should be easy enough to find.”“Oh, that’s neat,” I said. “Like roadsigns on corners.”“The roads are numbered here, unfortunately due to the age of the city and the shape of the mountain it’s built upon, it’s not very useful for navigating,” Bastion said. “Most will just name the colour of the district they’re in and then directions from there.”“Alright,” I said. That sounded like a cute way to get around.“Any places we should avoid?” Amaryllis asked.“Every road and alley is well-patrolled and quite safe,” Bastion said. “You’ll find no poverty on the streets here, or many muggers for that matter. Not in the capital. Land here is too valuable to allow for any of it to go unused.”Something told me that wasn’t the full story. For there to be rich people, someone had to be poor. At least, I remembered my dad telling me as much once. Maybe the poor here were fortunate, or maybe they were just tucked away very well.“Come on, let’s get to the inn, I could use a snack! And then we can do some proper plotting!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Three — See Ya Later!
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Three — See Ya Later! “Welcome!” the man said with a spinning twirl that ended with a bow. “To the grandest inn in all of the capital: Dewdrop Inn.” Little magic whirls and sparks took to the air behind him, flipping and twirling like teeny-tiny fireworks before they burst apart and transformed into pretty flowers.I clapped.“Greetings,” Bastion said, obviously not as impressed by the manservant’s display. “We’re looking for some rooms for a few days. I was hoping that I could speak with Jared.”“Certainly, sir Paladin,” the manservant said as he rose from his bow. He took in my friends and I at a glance, then nodded as if to himself. “I’m afraid that, while spectacular in its own right, this lower entrance is not as fabulous as the one above. I only hope its meager splendor is enough for such esteemed guests.”We were standing on the ground-level of what Bastion called the Gold Gistrict. We were close to a big wall, one of the many that we’d crossed so far while navigating the city. This one had purple banners on it, so I guessed that it was the Purple District where the castle and a bunch of other important places were.The Gold District was filled with businesses. Every building we crossed had an understated entranceway with a plaque telling passersby what they might expect within. The topmost floors looked a lot more interesting, but I couldn’t reach them without abandoning my friends and I wouldn’t do that.“Follow me, if you please,” the sylph who was guarding the bottom-floor entrance to the Dewdrop Inn said.We filed in after him and found a small, but well-decorated, waiting area. There were sofas and some potted plants, freshly painted walls and a couple of bookcases filled with interesting books. It was spotless, and I could only imagine that they must’ve had a couple of people with Cleaning magic on the staff.The far corner of the room was taken up by a spiral staircase that rose up and up, with spinny wrought-iron rails and magical lanterns casting an eerie-white glow onto marble steps.The sylph paused and bowed to us again. “Would you do me the honours of allowing me to carry your belongings to the topmost floor?” he asked.Amaryllis gave him her bag, but Awen said she wanted to keep hers. I did give him my spade, mostly because I was worried I might bonk one of the lanterns on the way up. As it was, the room might have been downright opulent, but it felt a bit... cramped?The ceiling was tall for a sylph, but for a bun it was a tiny bit on the shorter side. The stairs were worse, with my ears batting against the steps above with every step. “Who’s Jared?” I asked Bastion as I hopped up to be next to him.“The owner of the Inn,” Bastion said. “I’ve stayed here before. Twice, but I suspect that’s enough for him to remember me.”“Why would you stay at an inn when you’re in the capital?” Amaryllis asked. “Don’t the paladins have barracks?”“We do. An entire keep in the Purple District, as well as barracks within the royal castle and estates. And it’s not unheard of for a paladin to sleep in a guardhouse. Both times I was here, I was escorting someone.”“Oh, diplomacy stuff?” I asked.“Something like that,” Bastion said. “Keep it between us, but some members of the royal family like to spend time outside of the castles and palaces. Less stress, I suspect, and they get to see things that they wouldn’t, otherwise.”I noticed Awen and Amaryllis nodded, but I didn’t quite get it, not really. I had never really been stuck in any one place for that long. It was usually very much the opposite. I could sympathize still, but not from personal experience. “So they’d stay here?”“For a night or two,” Bastion said. “With a complement of guards, regardless of how safe they thought they were on their own.”“The city seems pretty safe,” I said. It was definitely one of the more protected places I’d ever seen. Lots of big walls, plenty of guards.“Goldenalden is a very safe city,” Bastion said. “But people who are looking for trouble tend to find it.”We reached the top floor with just a bit of huffing and puffing. It was a good thing we were all so active or else I think the stairs would have been too much.The top floor was very wide and tall, with a corner dedicated to a small garden filled with bright flowers in full bloom, and there was even a small tree, its trunk bent over to skim near the roof with a bench tucked below it.Round tables dotted the room, with comfy chairs next to them, and at the far end was the kind of reception counter that I expected to see at an inn, though this one was a lot fancier, with a stone top and wooden sides.“Ah, Mister Jared is right there,” the manservant said with a gesture to the counter.A sylph was behind it, sitting on a stool and examining some papers with glasses perched on the tip of his nose. He wore an apron over a clean shirt and vest. His head rose when we approached. “Ah! Greetings and welcomes. Dewdrop Inn-there’s always a seat for a new friend.”I decided that I liked Mister Jared.“Hello sir,” Bastion said.“Paladin Coldfront! It has been some time,” the old sylph said. He bounced off his seat with a flutter of his wings. “How can I help you, sir paladin?”Bastion gestured. “I have a few... guests for you here. Travellers from all across Dirt. They’re looking for a place to stay, and I gave them my solemn word that your inn was the greatest in Sylphfree.”“Ah-hah!” Jared cheered. “That it is! Now, what sort of accommodations are you looking for?”Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.“We’re looking for a room with at least three beds,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t think we require your finest, just a place to rest for the next week.”“We can certainly accommodate,” Jared said. “I have a fine suite on the third floor. Four modest rooms and a shared common area. We can include meals at your discretion as well. We have some of the finest chefs in all of Goldenalden here. Though if you want to test your palate beyond what we can provide, then I of course have some suggestions to offer as well.”“That sounds nice,” I said. “Are there any neat things to see in Goldenalden? I want to play tourist!”Jared laughed. “There’s plenty! If you tell me what you enjoy then I can direct you that way, but you must see the Orange District’s parade. It’s held every day at noon, rain or shine. And of course there’s the museum next to the congress, which is itself a wonderful building to admire.”“Oh,” I oh-ed. “That sounds neat! What’s the parade?”Bastion was the one to answer. “The Orange District is on the far side of the Green District from here. It’s where the local branches of the armed forces are stationed, at least the more bureaucratic part of the army. There’s also a training camp, and every day soldiers practice marching in formation. It draws a bit of a crowd.”“There’s a somewhat mean-spirited tradition involving civilians trying to make the soldiers in formation laugh,” Jared said. He looked like he was working hard not to smile. “The officers encourage it, and people tend to enjoy seeing some poor cadet being berated for failing to keep a straight face.”“That sounds mean,” I said.“Traditions are often unkind,” Awen muttered.“Shall I show you to your rooms?” Jared asked. At our nod, he flew over the counter with a buzz of his wings and quickly removed his apron to toss it behind him next to a fancy brass till. “Come along, gentleladies.”Jared walked with a skip in his step, arms gesturing grandly as he spoke about the great meals they had on offer, the wonderful wines, and the spectacularly soft beds.I couldn’t help but grin as we went back down the stairs until we reached the third floor. A corridor bisected the floor, with doors on either side of the wide passage. Jared fetched a key out from his pocket and unlocked one. “Here we are,” he said with a flourish.The suite was exactly what we needed. A wide room with some comfy sofas and a table surrounded by seats. There was a desk in one corner, next to a happy potted plant, and four smaller bedrooms, with windows overlooking the street below the inn. We had a big washroom too. It would have been annoying to share it, but I think we were all used to it after the Beaver.“This will do,” Amaryllis said with a satisfied huff. She immediately started negotiating with Jared, whose smile never wavered as Amaryllis deployed all of her trickiest tricks to lower the price. The manservant that had greeted us at the entrance brought our bags in and set them off to the side, then left with a bow.I spun around, then sighed. The next step wasn’t going to be fun. Still, we could put it off for just a little bit longer.Once Amaryllis forked over the gold and Jared bid us a good afternoon, we were left with just the four of us in our little quarters.“So,” I began.Bastion nodded, very solemn and serious. “I should be returning to report and to announce that I’ve returned. I imagine that the demand for paladins is quite high at the moment, with so many important diplomatic events occuring in such close proximity.”I pouted. “It still sucks that we won’t be seeing you much,” I said. “If you have time off, you have to come and visit.”He chuckled. “I will. I promise, as long as you’re in Slyphfree, I’ll make a point of visiting when I can afford to.”When he could afford to. That meant that he probably wouldn’t have all that much time. “Alright,” I said. I’d take what I could get. “You were a great crewmate, and there’s always going to be room for you on the Beaver. If you ever get tired of being a Paladin, then I’m sure there’s plenty of adventuring to do, and we could always use one more friend.”“Thank you, Broccoli,” Bastion said.“I... will, with some reluctance, admit that my initial impression of you was wrong,” Amaryllis said. “You are as honourable as your reputation entails. I hope all of your comrades in arms are as just and level headed.”“My initial impressions were also quite wrong,” Bastion said. “For all of you, I think. You’re a kinder soul than I would have imagined, Awen’s delicate nature hides the spine of a true adventurer and I suspect she will have just as many songs as her uncle one day, and Broccoli, I think your unique morality is quite eye-opening.”Amaryllis huffed the huff of someone who didn’t know how to take a compliment.“Hugs?” I asked.“Certainly,” Bastion said.I squeezed him tight-tight. I’d miss Bastion. He was stoic and hard to read, but he was a nice person, dependable and strong, and willing to help others just because it was the right thing to do.“I don’t know what you’ll be up to next,” I said. “But make sure to make plenty of friends, and keep them close.”“I’ll be sure to take some of the lessons I’ve learned to heart,” Bastion said. He sighed while glancing at the door. “I think this is goodbye for now. I would ask that you three stay safe, but I don’t think you’re capable of that, so I’ll instead ask that you watch out for each other, and try not to burn down the capital while I’m here.”“We’ll do our best.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Four — Game of Groans
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Four — Game of Groans “We need to go over everything, then plan out what we’ll be doing while we stay in Goldenalden,” Amaryllis said. She slapped her book onto the surface of the room’s dining table, then slid a rolled up map out of her bag and unrolled it.“I thought we just had to deliver some letters,” I said , bunny ears twitching. “And maybe snoop about, have some fun? Play tourist.”Amaryllis huffed, a very particular huff that I think meant something like “this is going to take some explaining.” “Things are more complicated than that. I don’t have a good lay of the situation either, until then everything I’m about to say is entirely speculative.”Awen and I glanced at each other, then back to the table. It felt like she should have been doing this in the Beaver instead of the Dewdrop Inn, but if Amaryllis thought this was the right time... “Okay,” I said. “What do you want to explain, and what will we be doing?”“The situation first,” Amaryllis said. She tapped at the world map with the tip of a talon, something that I’d noticed she liked doing. “There are four bigger players here, and quite a few smallers ones.”"I'm guessing Mattergrove isn't one of the bigger ones," Awen said, her expression somewhat pained.I supposed she was worried about her home."I'm afraid you're correct," Amaryllis confirmed. Her talon moved to the west and down, settling over the Seven Points. “Mattergrove has economic ties with Deepmarsh and the Harpy Mountains, and deeper ties with the independent cities to its north, but otherwise, I don’t think they have a big enough stake in things to truly get involved. If a war breaks out, they might be a source of supplies for the harpy and grenoil, but I don’t think they’ll be any more involved than that.”“Oh, alright,” Awen said. “That’s probably good.”“So who are the big players?” I asked. “And what’s that mean, anyway?”“The big nations to watch out for are the Nesting Kingdom, Deepmarsh, the Trenten Flats, and Sylphfree.” She tapped each nation’s capital as she named them. “Deepmarsh is the smallest of these, but they are well-situated. Their marshland is inhospitable to large troop movements, and the grenoil are capable of having big population booms if they so choose.”“They can?”Amaryllis nodded. “You’ve spent some time in their kingdom, I’m surprised you didn’t know how they’re born.”“I never asked,” I said. “Do they do it like... frogs?”“Essentially, yes. They have pools where eggs are laid by the hundreds. The fittest of these are chosen and are raised to become tadpoles and eventually members of whichever family they’re from. Most eggs are never hatched though.”“Huh,” I said. I didn’t know what to think about that.“It’s an important factor to consider in the grand scheme,” Amaryllis said. “But we’re going off topic. The next country to consider is the Nesting Kingdom.”“Your home,” I said. “Would they go to war?”“Against the sylph or the cervid? Definitely. We’ve skirmished against the cervid before, and the sylph are long-time enemies.” She touched the mountain between the two nations. “The Golden Peak is a natural wonder that both of us want. Not only for the gold found there, but the ancient dungeons as well. Right now, it’s ostensibly owned by both sides, with everyone having claims over the same area. In practicality, it’s neutral, unclaimed territory.”“That’s not great,” I said.“It isn’t,” Amaryllis agreed. “Having fought the sylph before means that we... the Nesting Kingdom, that is, don’t think the idea is impossible. The last war was a long time ago though. Now there are proper airships and new weapons; the populations of both nations are quite a bit larger too.”“Does that make it more or less likely that they’ll want to fight?”“I don’t know. People have been at peace for a while, they might not want that changed. And some of the xenophobia has settled down a little.”I nodded, that was good to hear. “What about the other two? The Trenten Flats and Sylphfree.”“The Trenten Flats are a problem. Regardless of whether a war is started or not, the nation is an issue. They’ve been expanding a lot. They nearly have cities spanning the central continent. They’re stretched thin across most of that though. A lot of wide, barren swatches with nothing but plains and a few forests. Still, they have by far the largest military, though it is also the least advanced.”“Advanced how?” Awen asked.“Cervid airships, as far as I’m aware, are still two generations behind anyone else’s. Their bodies also mean that piloting isn’t as easy for them as it is for a harpy or sylph. Their enchantments are generally of lower quality, as is most of their magecraft. Really, their greatest advantage is their numbers.”“There’s a lot of them,” I said.She nodded. “Plenty more than any other nation can field. If it comes to a wide-scale battle, it doesn’t matter that their mages are weaker. A modern, academy-educated harpy warmage will run out of mana long before the cervid run out of poorly-trained novice mages to throw into the battlefield. Likewise for their soldiery. Every single soldier counts as cavalry, being who they are. On an open plain their mobility is a huge advantage. Their bowmen are also quite gifted.”“Scary,” I said. I could imagine a big group of them charging across a hill. That would be terrifying.“Indeed. Unfortunately, I think any modern war will be fought in the skies. Which brings us to the sylph.”`“They have a big army,” I said.“It’s not only big, it’s modern,” Amaryllis said. “I think only the Snowlands might have better equipped and trained soldiery. It’s a mark of pride here to have served, as well as an obligation. They have... usable airships as well. They lack elegance and I believe any harpy ship could outpace and fly circles around a sylph ship, but there’s no denying that they make up for it in durability and numbers.”The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.Nothing I didn’t know, though I doubted some of Amaryllis’ patriotic views about ship designs. She had some biases. Airships that looked like ships were nice, very romantic, but there was nothing wrong with big boxy ships too.It wasn’t the size or the shape of the ship that mattered, but the way it handled and how much it was loved by its crew.“So, that’s the, ah, players? That’s what my mother always called the people who were taking part in a big political event,” Awen said.“That’s the players, yes. The big ones, at least. There’s also the Snowlands to the north, who are likely to only defend their borders unless the cervid antagonize them, in which case they might expand southwards a little. The independent cities are a mixed bag. No two of them are similar, except in their scope. For the most part they’re too small to really change things on an international scale.”“Those are places like Rosenbell, right?” The place where we’d first met Rhawrexdee and where I fought in that tournament.“That’s one of them, yes,” Amaryllis said. “It’s somewhere in the middle in terms of size, I think.”I nodded. Those cities likely had a lot of people in them, but they probably didn’t care too much about other countries since they weren’t part of any. “What about the desert?”“The Ostri? They’ll be on both sides as mercenaries. Likely more of them on the harpy and grenoil side, if only because of geographical convenience. The only other big player on the continent is the Kingdom of Endless Swells, and that’s only because they have a few colonies set up to the west, along the shores of the Moonstruck Sea.”“Are they nice?” I asked.“They’re very fixated on the sea and its surroundings. I can’t say whether or not they’ll fit whatever definition you have of nice,” Amaryllis said.Awen “awa’d” silently. “I’ve met some of them. Traders. They dressed strangely, but they were very kind.”I nodded. “That covers everyone then?”“We could go over the groups that make up these players,” Amaryllis said. I think she noticed my pout because she rolled her eyes. “But we should move on. The current situation is somewhat precarious.”“Because of Reinnewt,” I said. The no-good mean... jerk who had tricked Amaryllis and I into almost getting kidnapped and who had blown up that ball.She nodded. “In part, yes. Pointing out that he’s likely an outside factor trying to aggravate the current political situation would be a good place to start. But there are a lot of tensions between all these nations. Right now, we need to navigate things towards a peaceful resolution.”“It’s like trying to calm things down between angry neighbours,” I said.“And one of them is accusing the other’s dog of pooping on their porches,” Awen said with a barely-restrained giggle.“Immature, both of you,” Amaryllis said. “But essentially yes. Even if this problem is solved, that doesn’t mean the tension will disappear. Accusations are likely to be tossed around and insults will follow right behind.”“So even after learning that it’s a stray pooping on their porch, they’ll still be mad at each other because they said mean things to each other before,” I surmised.Amaryllis glared. “Anyway. The situation is volatile, but I think we can keep ahead of it. First though, we need to know what everyone thinks is going on, and how they’ll move. Which means either spying on everyone, which we don’t have the equipment, people, or experience for, or we use the Broccoli method.”“What’s the Broccoli method?” I asked. I was Broccoli. I should probably know what that was.She grinned. “Aggressively befriend everyone.”I felt my cheeks puffing out. “I don’t befriend people aggressively,” I said. “And you can’t just... weaponize friendship!”“Not with that attitude you can’t,” she replied. “We need to get information from each faction, in particular the diplomats who will be gathering here. There should be some from every nation, which means that Goldenalden will become the centre from which a lot of important choices will be made. We need to learn what those diplomats know in order to know how to act ourselves.”I thumped my foot down. “I don’t like any plans that involve pretending to be someone’s friend just to use them. Friendship should be treasured, not commodified.”“I don’t know,” Awen said. “Forced friendship would be nicer than doing some of the things my mother encouraged me to learn. It’s a lot more honest.”I thumped my foot harder. “Awen!”Awen raised her hands in surrender. “It’s like walking from house to house to see what everyone in the neighborhood thinks of the yard-poop situation before trying to fix things.”I considered it for a moment, then gave in with a nod. “Okay, fine. I wouldn’t mind meeting more people anyway. Is that the whole plan?”Amaryllis started to roll up her map. “That’s part of it. A lot of it will depend on what we discover. For the most part, if I can represent the Nesting Kingdom, then our goal becomes deflecting and discouraging any open conflict. We want to avoid any war at any cost.”“I’m sure everyone can get over a few stains on their porch,” I said.My head stung and it took me a moment to realize that Amaryllis had whapped me with her map. “Stop it with the dog turd analogies!”I rubbed at the spot between my ears, then glanced to Awen, and we both started to giggle while Amaryllis fumed. She couldn’t resist for long though, and soon she chuckled before trying to hide her own amusement.“So, what now?” I asked. A glance out the nearest window revealed that it was still midday.“We have a week to get everything ready, which should afford us some time to reconnoiter between setting up appointments,” Amaryllis said. “I also need an idea of where and when to meet everyone important.”“Oh! Then we have time for fun!”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Five — Out Over the Town
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Five — Out Over the Town “Before you run off and find trouble,” Amaryllis said. “We should decide who to focus on first.”“You mean which group to go meet with first?” I asked. “Do we even know where we should go to meet with them?”“We don’t, but I suspect it won’t be all that difficult to find out. There’s a readily available source of information for us in this city.”I listened. “What’s that?”“The Exploration Guild.”I blinked. “Oh gosh, I almost forgot all about them. Is there a branch here?” I reached up to the bandoleer running across my chest. I still had the guild’s pin attached to the front of it, just over my chest.“There’s a branch in nearly every country. Even in the Trenten Flats, though the organization is quite unpopular there. It’s not all that influential in Sylphfree either,” Amaryllis said.“I’m not a member,” Awen said. “Will that matter?”“It shouldn’t,” Amaryllis said. “The guild often employs people outside of itself to assist with certain things. I know some parties only have one or two members that are part of the guild, especially those made up of poorer members.”“To avoid the guild fees?” I asked.“Exactly. The guild’s missions pay relatively well for someone willing to risk talon and wing, but they’re only available to members. It’s a business after all, though not one that’s centred around profits first.”That sounded a little strange for a business, but I couldn’t complain. “Right, so we visit the local branch for information first, then we... ah, scout out the city?”“That’s an interesting way of saying sightsee,” Amaryllis said.I grinned. “Isn’t it?”She bounced to her talons and started for the door. “We’re wasting time girls! We have a world to save, because it certainly won’t save itself.”“Yes, ma’am,” I replied before giggling and hopping after her. “Do you know where the local Exploration Guild building is?”“I don’t,” Amaryllis said. She opened the door into the corridor and held it open for Awen and I to step out. “We can ask the innkeeper.”I took the lead heading up to the topmost floor. The Dewdrop Inn was getting a bit busier. I guessed that being close to noon meant that many more people were coming out to grab lunch.Mister Jared was at the counter, smiling at a customer while he set a plate before them, then filled a pitcher from a tap behind him. His eyes lit up when I bounced closer and leaned onto the countertop.“Hello Miss Bunch.”“Hello Mister Jared,” I replied with a big old grin. “You know the city well, right?”“Like the back of my hand,” he chuckled. “What are you looking for?”“The Exploration Guild,” I said. “I heard they had a branch in Goldenalden and I thought I’d stop by to see. Plus, don’t tell Amaryllis, but it’s an excuse to walk around.”“That sounds like a great excuse to see the sights,” Jared said. “Here, give me a moment.” He reached under his counter and brought up a frame with a map within it. “This is a little old, but it’s still good enough. We’re in the Gold District now. The Yellow District here is where you’ll find all the best shops in the capital. Just head north and west from here. The Green District bisects it, so don’t worry if you end up there. If you find yourself at the big wall, then you’ve gone too far. Now, you’re looking for the Exploration Guild. They're on the far side of this park here.”“Oh, I see,” I said. “Which way is north from here?”Jared laughed and pointed off towards one corner of the inn. “That way, my dear.”I pointed north with one ear, then pointed northwest with the other. I had it pretty much figured out, I thought. “Thanks!”“No problem; if you get lost, don’t be afraid to ask a passing guardsman.”“I will! Do you think we can travel from above or will we need to go to the ground level?”“As long as you don’t purposefully jump into people’s way, you should be just fine,” Jared said with a nod.Laughing, I stepped back and ran over to my friends. “I know where to go!” I said. “We’re going to need to jump a bunch though.”“I can fly,” Amaryllis said. It’s a bit of a white lie. She can hover a little and I think if she was aiming for something below she could glide quite well, but she doesn’t quite have the whole ‘upwards lift’ thing handled well enough to call what she does flight.“Awa, that might be hard for me. I can’t jump like you do, and I don’t have wings,” Awen said. There’s a gleam in her eyes a moment later, a dangerous one. “Though, I think I could make do. I took a good look at those rockets the cry used. With a small tank, and some thrusters... I’d need a magic element to create the initial flame, and some sort of control surface too. Oh, and directional thrust and some wings for lift.”“I think we can settle on Broccoli carrying you across any gaps for now,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but the mere mutterings about it are giving me shivers.”“I could mount a repeating crossbow to it,” Awen whispered.“Come on!” I said. “Daylight’s burning and we have a whole heap of city to explore.”I led my friends out of the Dewdrop Inn. The top exit opened onto a wide platform that served as the building’s roof. There were flowers next to the roof acces and no railings on the edges, but there were nets just a step off the side to catch clumsy people.I glanced up as a sylph in a blue couriers’ outfit buzzed by. There was plenty more traffic in the air too. Sylphs zipped about, most in loose, flowing clothes that didn’t hamper their wings.Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.Instead of backpacks or purses, a lot of the sylph I saw had fanny packs dangling in front of them.That made sense. They didn’t want anything catching on their wings, and most flew... not quite upright, but not horizontally either.I looked towards what I hoped was the north-west (my ears had never stopped pointing that way, like a fluffy compass atop my head) and I judged the distance to the next building over. The space was a bit shorter than the width of a road, if only because both the Dewdrop Inn and the building across from it had balconies around their tops.I could make that jump easily, and so could Amaryllis.“Alright, Awen, hop on my back,” I said as I hunched down a bit.Awen stared at me, then at my back. “Are you sure?”“Oh yeah, it’s just a small hop. You don’t need to worry!”She hesitated a little more, then jumped onto my back and I grabbed her knees while she wrapped her arms around my collar. It was like a back hug!I bounced up and down a couple of times, to make sure Awen had a good grip on me, then I stepped back and away from the edge. I probably didn’t need a running start, but it might help.Feet thumping on the balcony, I sprinted ahead until I was on the very edge, then shot some Stamina into my legs and launched myself over the gap.Awen screamed, a mixture of fear and delight that had all four of my ears ringing. The wind flapped around us, Awen’s hair a streaming banner and my own a tangled mess, before I landed at a jog on the other rooftop.“Awa! That was great!” Awen cheered.I laughed and turned around, Awen still gripping onto me. “Come on, Amaryllis, you can do it!”I couldn’t hear her huff, not with the distance and the wind, but I knew that facial expression anywhere. She backed up, pinched her tongue between her lips, then lowered her goggles over her eyes before she took a running leap over the chasm. Her arms flapped twice, catching the wind and giving her just enough lift to land right on the edge of the balcony.“Easy,” Amaryllis said as she walked to a stop.“Uh-huh,” I agreed. Still, I made a note to find shorter paths to jump next time. I didn’t want any accidents, and a cross-wind could come up at any time and cause some trouble.The Exploration Guild headquarters were supposed to be to the west of a big park. It wasn’t too hard to spot that part. A section of the mountainside that had been built out with dirt and big old trees were growing in clumps.We jumped over to another building, and I couldn’t help but notice all the strange looks we were getting from the sylph passing us by. There weren’t any other humans or buns or harpies up on top of these buildings; at least, none that I could see.We crossed over to the Yellow District, then into the Green, then back into the Yellow. For all that the sylph seemed to care a lot about being neat and orderly, they still had to work with a mountainside as the location for their city, which meant that they had to build around the bumps and inclines of the landscape.I imagined that not all the buildings around us were at the same height. There were clearly ramps below where carts had to be helped up to higher or lower levels. The entire city was built atop a whole heap of artificial plateaus.Once we reached the edge of the park, Amaryllis found a building with a few shops in it. A bakery on the top floor, a butchers in the middle, and a grocers at the bottom, all connected via stairwell. So I let Awen down and we climbed down to street level, with only a quick pause to buy some pastries.The sylph, it seemed, preferred these small, super-sweet pastries. They were little balls of sweet-bread, fried and dipped in a glaze, and stuffed full of either jam, or something the baker behind the counter called mountain bee honey. They were so sweet my entire face puckered up and I couldn’t help but shiver after every bite.I didn’t dare eat more than six or seven of them, else they’d do terrible things to my tummy.We went down and down until we reached the ground floor, then we headed outside and walked along the edge of the park. There were lots of younger sylphs within, with sylph moms looking after the teeny tiny sylphs who were darting around and play fighting and learning how to fly.There were a few neat play forts tucked away in the woods, and I saw more than one squealing group of sylphs running around with blunted wooden swords. Others were jumping off jungle gyms, playing something that was like extreme hopscotch by flying from suspended plate to suspended plate.Amaryllis gave me a look which I interpreted as ‘no, you can’t go play with the kids, you’re a big girl.’ She was probably right, a lot of them were pointing at us already, I bet I was the first bun they’d ever seen!We found the Exploration Guild right where Jared said it would be. A shorter building, but no less stately for its size. There was a big brass compass-rose above the entrance, with the familiar bandoleer across it and the name of the guild beneath it.The building was nice, but also a little bit on the shabbier side. The plants next to its entrance looked like they could use some watering and maybe a bit of weeding, and the stones were water-stained in a few spots.“I have the impression that I’m not going to get all the answers I want from here,” Amaryllis said.“Well, there’s only one way to find out for sure,” I said.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Six — The Guildhouse
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Six — The Guildhouse I pushed the front door open with a squeal of protesting hinges and peered inside. The interior wasn’t all that well lit, just the light slipping in from the windows at the front illuminating a lobby area filled with shadows and a thin film of dust.“Hello?” I called out as I stepped in. My voice echoed across the room.I had only ever been to two Exploration Guildshouses before. The large one in Port Royal, which was a stately building, well-maintained and richly decorated, and a smaller one in Awen’s hometown, which had been clean and quite nice, though not as affluent.Maybe that clouded my impression of the guild, because I was expecting something similar here, especially in Goldenalden where the city seemed much richer and the people here had a much greater focus on propriety than I was used to.There were some decorations. The last two guilds had dioramas of dungeons and hand-drawn maps made by members of the guild. This one had glass-covered plinths to the sides with strange weapons and artefacts with little plaques next to them. They might have been impressive if a number of them weren’t missing and the rest weren’t currently being used as scaffolding by enterprising spiders.“This place looks abandoned,” Awen said as she glanced around.“Yeah,” I replied. I had that impression too. “But the door wasn’t locked, and there’s still some things here.”“Nothing of great value, but still enough that I suspect a common thief wouldn’t just leave it laying around,” Amaryllis said.The clink of a door opening had all three of us looking up and to the end of the room. There was a desk there, with a doorway behind it slowly swung open. A sylph stepped out.I wasn’t great at judging the age of people, but I guessed him to be in his thirties or so. A proper adult. He had a suit that was well-cut but a bit rumpled, and he walked with the hunched back of someone who had given up.“Hello!” I called out.The sylph jumped, then spun to stare at us. His confusion quickly gave way to a shaky smile and he scurried around the desk to come and address us properly. “Hello hello,” he said. “Welcome to the Goldenalden Exploration Guild. It’s been some time since... ah, nevermind, I mean to say that you’re all very welcome. Are you looking to hire someone to find something? A scout, a map-maker? Perhaps a dungeon diver?”I shook my head. “We’re not looking for anything like that,” I said. “My name’s Broccoli, and these are my friends Amaryllis and Awen. We-at least Amaryllis and I-are part of the Exploration Guild.”The sylph froze up, his smile turning brittle. “An inspection team?”“Huh? No, nothing like that,” I said. “We’re just normal members.”“Oh! That’s wonderful. Are you looking for a mission? We don’t have many, but there are a few outstanding ones that we could use an experienced team on.”Amaryllis raised a talon. “What’s going on here? I’d suspect that the Goldenalden guild was just not as popular or as well off, but the location of this building and its size suggests otherwise. It looks, at a glance, as if this branch is falling apart.”“What? No, no, we’re...” he tried to keep up his smile, then abandoned that. “Alright, so you’re not wrong. We’re basically skirting failure here.”“What happened?” I asked. “It looks like this was a nice place.” The decor was poorly maintained and dirty, but I could imagine it being quite fetching beneath all of that.“Happened?” he asked. “Ah! Where are my manners? My name is Reginald Leaflock, I’m the current guild master of the Goldenalden branch of the Exploration Guild, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He bowed a bit.“Nice to meet you too!” I said. “Are you the only one here?”“No, no, we still have some staff. Not many though,” he replied with a glance over his shoulder. “Mostly the older members who have been around for so long that they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves.” He laughed, but it lacked any humour.Amaryllis shifted, and I could see the calculations flashing by in her eyes. “So, what happened here? The guild looks like it’s underperforming.”“We’re getting along,” Reginald said, but he folded at Amaryllis’ look. “Or we’re trying to. It’s a long story, and not one that I think anyone would want to hear. I’d much rather listen to your own. Are you members from the Harpy Mountains?”“We both joined in Port Royal,” I said.Reginald’s eyebrows rose. “Ah, a nice branch over there. The guild leader is a woman of great repute. Did you have a mission that needed you around here? We might be able to provide some assistance.”“Mister Leaflock, could you tell us what happened here?” Amaryllis asked. “We came because we were looking for some information, but the state of the guild is questionable at best.”Reginald winced. “Well, ah, perhaps we can have this discussion in my office? Though, I’m not sure if it’s a discussion worth having at all.”“You seem worried,” I said.He shrugged a shoulder, a very careless gesture for a sylph. “I don’t think the guild has much time left, at least not this branch.”“Well, now I want to know what happened too,” I said. “But not if it’ll hurt your feelings to repeat it.”Reginald stared at me for a moment, then took a deep breath and shored up his resolve. “No, no I don’t mind telling you what happened. Come, my office is at least a little more comfortable.”We followed Reginald to the back and instead of going around the counter as he had, he led us to the side and headed towards a staircase at the rear. Once we were up a floor, we moved down a richly appointed corridor, and finally into an office.The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.Reginald’s office was nice and big, with a chonky desk in its middle and a few plush chairs for guests. There were paintings of people hanging on the walls, and from the plaques beneath them I guessed that they’re the former guildmasters for this branch.“Take a seat, please,” Regionald said as he gestured to the free seats before his desk.I looked to my friends before pulling one out and plopping myself down onto it. A small puff of dust rose around me that I quickly and quietly got rid of by pushing some magic into my Cleaning aura. I didn’t want to interrupt anything so I kept it subtle. His desk was less dusty, due to regular use.“So, what happened?” Amaryllis asked.Reginald worked his jaw. “I don’t know exactly where things started taking a turn for the worse. We were having a relatively difficult year. Securing government contracts was made more complicated by the army ramping things up and edging into the budget we’re usually allocated, but otherwise we were doing well financially. You have to understand, the Exploration Guilds in Sylphfree are treated... in an interesting way.”“Interesting how?” I asked.“In most countries, the Exploration Guild is primarily made up of two groups: well-off members of the gentry who can afford to mount expeditions, and talented individuals looking for reliable work who can assist with those expeditions. There are always new dungeons to find, ancient ruins to explore, and new cultures to visit and exchange with.”I nodded; that’s what made me want to join, mostly.“But in Sylphfree, there’s a powerful pressure for most to join the armed forces. Most nobles will try to find a place in the military hierarchy, and it’s not as common for one to wish to join our guild. We still have... had, plenty of members though.”“What was the appeal?” Amaryllis asked.“Mostly the ability to move outside of the borders of the country. And we worked closely with Paladins and others of the sort to scout out new dungeons and locations of interest across Sylphfree.” Reginald seemed quite proud. “The Exploration Guild allowed its distinguished members to make a mark in a way that being part of the more traditional sylph culture wouldn’t allow.”“You still haven’t told us how everything turned out like this,” Amaryllis said.Reginald’s proud look deflated. “It started with... I suppose we received a new member. He was very talented, a young human from somewhere. He never really said. He was a hard worker, and while he was rather anti-social he worked well enough with the rest of the guild. He took quite a few missions, mostly mapping out dungeons. There are a few in the nation that aren’t as popular, so they’re not delved as often and our maps of those have become dated.”“I imagine he did more than just that,” Amaryllis said.The sylph nodded. “We didn’t know it at the time, but he...well, he destroyed some of the dungeons he visited. Three of them, as far as we now know.”Amaryllis took in a deep breath and I saw Awen raise her hands over her mouth. As I understood it, dungeon destruction was a big deal. It would probably be really wise of me not to mention the dungeons I’d destroyed.“The Inquisition marched in here and started rooting around, looking for him, but he had disappeared. Worse, he took a lot of paperwork with him when he left. Gold as well. I think the only silver lining in the entire matter is that the inquisition wanted the destruction to stay silent.”“Did they ever find him?” I asked.Reginald shook his head. “No. We lost a few members then and there. Others left soon after. I scrambled to fulfil the missions we still had, but that meant sending less experienced members out to tackle more complicated missions. We had to deal with a big surge in injuries. Then the news broke out amongst the nobility, and a lot of our members who were part of the gentry parted ways with us.”“Oh no,” I said. “They were the ones supplying the guild with money and stuff?”“In part, yes,” Reginald said. “We used to receive frequent donations from the nobility, often in lieu of donating to other organizations.”“Huh?” I asked.Reginald blinked. “Ah, yes, you’re not from Goldenalden. Ah, the nobility are legally obligated to pay a certain amount of their earnings back to the nation. They can get an exception from this if they donate some of those proceeds to certain organizations. Some are military, others are civil services.”“Ah, tax evasion,” I said with a nod.“It’s...not technically that. Anyway, a lot of noble families would donate to the guild, especially those that enjoyed the banquets and meetings which we held here. Which we can no longer hold here, not with the state the guild is in.”“And all of this was caused by a single human?” Amaryllis asked.“One human, yes. At least, I think he was human.” At our looks, Reginald shook his head. “Nevermind, just a rumour.”“Wait,” I said as I leaned forwards. “You’re not sure if he was human...did he ever just change appearance? Like an illusion spell or something, or shapeshifting?”“It was just a rumour. We needed to track him down after all the crimes he committed. So I employed some of the guild’s best to chase him down. They cornered him, but all they found was a scared and confused sylph who didn’t know anything. I trusted those members to track someone down, it was a strange occurrence. Then I heard that something similar happened to the Inquisition.”“What was his name?” I asked.“Drizz, his name was Drizz L. Lizard.”I blinked. “No!” I said as I jumped to my feet. My palm slapped the table. “That’s Rainnewt!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Lost and Found in Translation
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Lost and Found in Translation “Rainnewt?” Reginald asked.“How did you figure that?” Amaryllis asked.I gestured vaguely through the air. “The name. It’s obvious, isn’t it?”“No. No, it really isn’t,” Amaryllis said.I huffed. “Come on. Drizz L. Lizard? It obviously means drizzle lizard, and that’s just a terrible pun for rain newt.”Amaryllis blinked. “None of that made sense,” she said.I stared at my birdy friend for a bit. The clues and all were super obvious, and she was a smart girl. Then it clicked and I felt silly. “It’s a multilingual pun,” I said with mounting horror. Puns were already a bit evil, puns that required translation... that was a whole new level of terrible. Rainnewt really was a villain.“How does it work?” Amaryllis asked. “I don’t see the link between the names.”“It might be because of my autotranslation,” I said. “But the name means rain lizard. A newt is a kind of lizard. That, and Reginald mentioned something that might have been shapeshifting.”“And there’s a solid link with the Exploration Guild,” Amaryllis added. “But then, for him to be able to make that kind of...dare I say joke-with his name, he would need to either have a gift for multiple languages, or be a riftwalker.”“That would make sense, wouldn’t it?” I asked. “Him being a riftwalker. He’s been destroying dungeons. Reginald! Did the dungeons he destroyed have any evil roots in them?”Reginald leaned back in his big office seat. “Evil roots? Ah, I don’t know? Actually, there was— give me a moment.” He slid his chair to the side and opened a drawer. “I only have these on hand because the inquisition demanded copies of everything related to Drizz. They couldn’t find him initially, so they started to investigate with more depth. That meant going over everything with a fine-tooth comb.” He pulled out a stack of papers and set them on his desk, then he started flipping through them.I watched as he paused on a page, frowned, then turned it around and slid it our way.Awen, Amaryllis and I all leaned over to inspect the paper. Reginald tapped a paragraph near the middle.The Hidebank Dungeon was explored by a local delve team who reported strange growths on the Boss floor of the dungeon. The dungeon has not acquired any new floors since its last survey, but there have been some noted changes in its behaviour.“What’s this report?” Amaryllis asked.“It’s the demand from Riverhide to send someone to explore one of the small dungeons in the region. It’s not a very popular dungeon, so there wasn’t a lot of local interest in uncovering the changes within it. It was one of the first missions that Drizz took. That dungeon was destroyed.”Amaryllis turned my way, a talon resting against her chin. “It’s not much to go on. Circumstantial at best.”“But it’s something,” I said. “Did any of the other dungeons mention plant stuff? Big roots, the dungeon acting weird?”“Not that I’m aware of. Drizz had a knack for tackling dungeons across the nation, but he only destroyed three as far as I’m aware.” Reginald sighed. “Only three. As if that’s not an enormous number of lost dungeons.”I looked at Amaryllis, and she nodded, though it was a little reluctant. “Alright, I’ll admit that you might be onto something.”“You know Drizz then?” Reginald asked.“Yeah, but not under that name,” I said. “I’m not sure, not without seeing them, but it sounds like Drizz might be Rainnewt. He was a man that worked at the Port Royal Exploration Guild. He tried to get Amaryllis kidnapped at some point, and he might be responsible for a bunch of diplomatic problems in the area too.”“Not to mention what he did in the Nesting Kingdom. He set off an explosive that killed and injured members of a sylph diplomatic party,” Amaryllis continued. “He got away with it too, as far as I can tell.”Reginald paled. “He did what?”“Yeah, it was really bad,” I said. “I don’t know if he destroyed more dungeons along the way, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.”Amaryllis’ eyes narrowed. “Why did you suspect he was linked to the Evil Roots, Broccoli?”I shrugged. “The world told me to fix those. So if there’s another riftwalker, maybe they’re here for the same reason. Trying to start a war doesn’t make sense though. If all he wanted was to destroy dungeons he could be a lot sneakier about it.”“Awa, maybe he doesn’t want to do it himself?” Awen asked. “If he could convince the nations to fight, then one of the first things they’ll do is destroy each other’s dungeons, right? I know that my dad had some procedures in place, if there was ever a war or something, to protect the dungeons closest to Greenshade.”That made some sense, but it was such an awful way to go about doing things. Why not just warn people? Or find another way to get rid of the Evil Roots. I’d proven that Cleaning magic could do it, so I bet there were other ways to get rid of the roots too.“This is distressing,” Reginald said. “But, at this point, I’m not sure what the guild can do about it. It’s obvious that this is a problem that’s much bigger than the guild.”“Hmph, that’s no reason not to try to do your part,” Amaryllis said. “We’ve moved very much off-track. I came here to ask the guild for help finding certain groups in the city. It would help us a lot if we could track them down.”“We’re trying to stop Rainnewt,” I said. “Or at least the war he might be trying to start.”“I can try to help,” Reginald said. “But I’m not sure if there’s much I can do at all.”A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.I shook my head to clear it. There were too many thoughts all bouncing around in there at once, and I only had so much room for thinking things. “Maybe we can help you while you help us!” I said.Reginald sat up a little straighter in his seat. “You think you can help the guild? At this point, we’d accept any help we can get.”“We might be able to help, a little, on the condition that the guild helps us in turn,” Amaryllis said. “Notably, we’re looking for the location of the diplomatic parties sent over for the summit. We have a little over a week to try and convince all the players here not to go to war with each other over the actions of one madman.”“Or madperson,” I said. “Rainnewt can shapeshift. We have no way of knowing who they are.”Amaryllis nodded. “That’s a fair point. I suspect that most nations will have ways of intercepting and preventing that kind of security breach, if only to counter skilled spies and assassins. Warning them of a potential issue wouldn’t be amiss.”“The weakest point of any defence is the people behind it,” Awen said. It sounded like a quote. “Even if everyone has things in place to catch spies, they might not be paying them all that much attention. Though I guess that wouldn’t make sense now, not with everyone being in high alert.”“No, it’s a fair point,” Amaryllis said.I nodded along. Spying and such wasn’t my forte, but I imagined that my friends were probably right. “So that’s what we need. To know who and where the nice diplomats from everywhere will be.”“I think I can manage that,” Reginald said. “I don’t have many contacts left, but I still have some. The guild isn’t lost, not yet. If I can help you with that, what can you do to help the guild?”“We don’t have much money,” I said.Amaryllis shook her head. “Certainly not enough to keep an entire guild afloat.”“Surprisingly,” Reginald cut in. “We’re still staying afloat financially. We had to cut off a lot of services and such, but we had some gold saved up. It’s our reputation that we need to salvage the most.”“Well, I don’t know about that,” I said. “But maybe if we cleaned the place up a little that would help? Give me half a day and some gardening tools and I can have the whole place looking like new.”Reginald smiled. “I think that would help, at least a little. I suppose we’re not presenting the greatest image while looking so slovenly.” He nodded, then eyed me, and then my friends up and down. There was a calculating gleam in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel that maybe Reginald was the guild leader for a reason. “You’ve been on some interesting adventures, haven’t you?”“Oh yeah, plenty,” I said.“Any of those recent?” he asked.I considered the trip from the Nesting Kingdom to here. “Yeah, I think a few of them are,” I said.Reginald’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned his elbows onto the table. “Would one of you mind telling the story of your voyage? Truthfully, that is. No need to exaggerate or anything of the sort, just a straight recounting of what occurred.”I glanced at my friends, then shrugged. “I can do that,” I said.“Awa, maybe I can do it?” Awen asked. “I have a good memory for that kind of thing, and Broccoli might be busy cleaning and doing gardening work.”“And in the meanwhile, I have a few small questions I’d like to ask,” Amaryllis said. “Notably, what exactly are you thinking of doing with our story?”Reginald nodded. “That’s only fair. The guild needs a victory right now. Several, in fact. And spreading the story of a successful venture by some intrepid young members might just count as that sort of victory. It’s not much, but I’m sure we can find some mutual benefit from announcing to the nobility of the nation that you’re a force to be respected and admired.”“Ah, I see,” Amaryllis said.It sounded to me like Reginald just wanted to use us to create a good image for the guild. I wasn’t exactly against the idea. We hadn’t done anything too amazing, I figured, but maybe stories about going around and making friends would attract more people who needed friends too.After all, Amaryllis joined the guild because she secretly wanted to make friends, deep, deep, down inside.I bet there were plenty of Amaryllises out in Goldenalden that needed a good friend too!“I like it,” I said. “But no lying or embellishing.”“He wouldn’t be able to in any case,” Amaryllis said. “We had Bastion with us for the entire trip. He would be able to fact-check any part of it, and to most sylph the word of a paladin is assumed to be truthful by default, and usually for good reason.”“Bastion?” Reginald asked.“A paladin who accompanied us on our voyage,” Amaryllis said.Reginald’s brows shot up, and he seemed genuinely impressed.I clapped my hands. “So! Should we do all of this stuff today?”“Ah, well, as much as I would enjoy that, I’m afraid that I can’t uphold my side of the bargain today. The information Miss Amaryllis wants isn’t something I know off-hand. Would it be possible for the three of you to return tomorrow?”“Sure thing,” I said. “Can you set out some gardening supplies? I’m hardly an expert, but I can fix up the front no problem. And I am an expert at all things cleaning.”“I look forward to seeing the results. In any case. Yes, I think we have tools and cleaning supplies laying about.”Reginald stood, and so did we.“You’ve given me a lot of think on. But I think this might be the start of the Exploration Guild’s return to a proper level of decorum. Or at least I very much hope so. Thank you, girls.”“No problem,” I said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Taking a Friendtrip
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Taking a Friendtrip The final summit thing was going to happen in one week, which was a very long time. Still, we’d spent half of our first day in Goldenalden already, which left us with closer to six and a half days to have fun and also stop a war.“I think we should put off any sort of preparations for the summit,” Amaryllis said. “We don’t know what the local fashions are like, and we don’t want to accidentally imply something with the way we dress and prepare for it.”We stepped out into the full light of day, and I had to squint to protect my eyes. I didn’t notice just how dark it was inside the Exploration Guild, at least not once my eyes had gotten used to the relative lack of light. “So, if we can’t go shopping, should we play tourist? I bet there’s all sorts of things to see. Didn’t Jared mention a parade ground?”“Broccoli.” I turned towards Awen, then followed her gaze. She was looking to the side where a sylph was walking towards us. He was the tallest sylph I’d seen so far, coming right up to my eyes in height, and he wore the same sort of dark armour as Bastion.The paladin came to a smart stop a pace away from us and bowed at the waist. “Greetings, ladies,” he said with a gruff, formal voice. “Are you Broccoli Bunch, Awen Bristlecone, and Amaryllis Albatross?” he asked.“And if we are?” Amaryllis asked.“Please just confirm your identities,” he said.“We are,” I said. It would be rude to lie, and besides, there weren’t exactly a wealth of bun-human-harpy threesomes on the street.The paladin nodded and tugged a small scroll out from his belt. It had a wax seal on the front, with pretty yellow tassels sticking out from beneath. “This is for you,” he said.Amaryllis took the scroll gingerly, as if it might explode at any moment. “And who exactly is it from? For that matter, what is it?”The paladin obviously hesitated, but not for very long. “It’s from her royal highness, Princess Caprica. As for the contents, that isn’t something I’m aware of.”Amaryllis quirked an eyebrow. “Very well. Is it your professional opinion that this should be opened in private?”“The princess isn’t known for sending ultimatums, threats, or matters of intrigue in this fashion,” the paladin replied.“I wanna see what it says,” I said as I crowded over Amaryllis' shoulder. Awen got onto her tippy toes to peek over Amaryllis’s other side.Amaryllis sighed, but she edged a talon under the seal all the same and popped it open with a practiced flick. The scroll unrolled itself to reveal a letter written with very pretty calligraphy.Dear Ladies Albatross and Bristlecone, and Captain Bunch,I wish to cordially invite you for tea sometime this early evening or, if such isn’t convenient to you, sometime tomorrow morning.Please don’t fret, this isn’t a grave matter, I merely heard some very interesting stories and wished to speak with those responsible for them, we have at least one mutual friend already, and I consider it a wonderful idea if we could become friends ourselves.If you’re unable to attend, then please write back, I’m certain we can arrange something.Sincerely,Caprica.“Aww,” I said.“It could be a trap,” Amaryllis said.I scoffed. “It’s an invitation for tea and to make friends!”“Yes, which sounds like exactly the sort of bait I would use if I intended to lay a trap for you,” Amaryllis said. “I would be attracted by the political machinations and Awen... well, honestly I think she’d just come along because we’re going.”“I like tea too,” Awen said with just a hint of a pout.Amaryllis nodded. “Yes, but bait specifically designed for you would involve the kind of machinery that wouldn’t be present near a princess, or my sister.”“If it helps, the princess also isn’t known for trapping people,” the paladin said.Amaryllis waved the comment off. “You could be on her side. For all we know, you’re not even an actual paladin.”The sylph blinked. “Impersonating a paladin is illegal.”“Well, at least you have the right amount of stick up your-”“I think we should go,” I cut in before Amaryllis could say anything too rude. “This Princess Caprica sounds nice, and the friend she’s mentioned sounds like Bastion. He wouldn’t lead us into a trap.”Amaryllis gave me a look.I retaliated with a pout.“Very well,” Amaryllis said. “Sir paladin, would it be possible for you to lead us over to the princess? The time given in the letter suggests that we should arrive this evening, but we have little else to do at the moment and we aren’t familiar with the quarters where the princess resides.”“Of course, Lady Albatross,” the paladin said with another short bow. “Would you like to stop by your inn on the way? It isn’t too far from our destination, and it would give you the opportunity to freshen up.”I let out a quick burst of Cleaning magic, then combed my fingers through my hair and straightened my ears. “I’m freshened,” I said.Awen giggled and nodded. “I’m ready too. I don’t really have the kind of dress that would be appropriate for tea with me. Ah, unless I wear the same outfit I wore at the ball?”“Oh, that would be cute,” I said. My own outfit was pretty cute too. It wouldn’t hurt to get niced up for tea.Amaryllis shrugged. “If you insist. I’m more comfortable in my current outfit. A dress would get in the way if fighting broke out.”The paladin cleared his throat. “I doubt that there would be any fighting at the palace.”I nodded. “Better to stay in armour then, just in case.”I don’t think he expected me to interpret his words that way, but I knew from experience that when someone said not to expect trouble, that was the ideal time to start expecting trouble.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Taunting fate to have more fun adventures was one of my favourite pastimes, after all. “Too bad we can’t bring all of our gear with us,” I said.“I don’t think I can bring a repeating crossbow into a palace,” Awen said. “It might be seen as an insult, or as a threat.”I nodded, that sounded wise. “So, mister paladin, could you guide us over to the princess? Oh, should we tell her that we might be a bit early?”“I’ll dispatch a runner as soon as we arrive near the castle,” the paladin said. “Follow me, we’ll take the quieter route.”“That’s fine by me,” I said. A nice walk would be refreshing after the rather heavy conversation we had with Reginald. I had a bit of stuff to think about, I had a bit of stuff to think about, mostly Rainnewt and his involvement in ... in ... Amaryllis' kidnapping, and... I couldn’t help but remember Amaryllis, bound up by those cervid, disappearing into the swamps. I tried to put it out of my mind and think, but then all I could remember was crying on that bridge.Rainnewt had caused that, hadn't he? Then the ball, with the explosion. There had been so many nice people screaming, so many innocents hurt.How could someone just... be that way?No, that wasn’t a fair question to ask. Sometimes I wanted to do mean things too, to be rude and to put others down because-even though I knew better-it felt good to do that. Not good-good, but still... a squicky yucky kind of good. Did Rainnewt feel that when he blew up the Ball?I was probably not the best when it came to philosophy, I knew.Usually, I only dealt with little problems of morality. How to be careful not to tease someone too hard, how to help a friend while still taking care of yourself. Little problems that a bun like me could handle just fine. What Rainnewt was doing was a whole order of magnitude more complicated than what I was used to thinking about.Actually killing people, and not during some morally grey-ish thing, like self-defence. He was harming people because... I didn’t know why and I really wanted to. Maybe there was some excuse out there for what he’d done. I didn’t know if I’d accept it, but it would be nice to know that the violence and hurting wasn’t just senseless.I did have an inkling of what it might be, but it made me nervous to think about it.The Evil Roots.Rainnewt’s trick with his false name.Was it possible that he really was a riftwalker, like me?If so, I didn’t know why the World picked him of all people.I felt a bump against my shoulder, and when I looked up I found Awen looking at me. She had a small smile on, but there was no mistaking the concern in her eyes. “Are you okay, Broc?”“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” I said.“Okay,” she said. “It’s just you’re not looking around as much as you usually do, and your ears are all, you know.” She brought her hands over her head and loosened her wrists so that they wiggled before her.I tilted my head, ears twitching up. “What did my ears do?”“They were droopy,” she said before she giggled. “They looked sad.”I sniffed. I loved my bun ears, but sometimes they came with quite the disadvantages, like bonking on doorframes and giving away how I was feeling when I didn’t mean to worry my friends.Reaching up, I tugged my ears up by the little tufts on their ends. “There, is that better?” I asked. When I let go, then both flopped right back down like a pair of wet rags.Awen laughed, and I joined her a moment later. It was kind of funny. The look from the paladin ahead of us only made me laugh harder. After that, my ears actually did perk up a bit.We were getting a few looks, mostly because we were in a part of the city that had fewer tall homes. Most of the buildings around the walls of what I guessed were the palace were a fair bit smaller and wider. Homes that looked more like small mini-mansions than they did family homes, with gates and fences and small well-tended gardens out front.I didn’t know enough about sylph fashion to say anything definitive, but I had the impression that the people we were crossing were dressed a lot better than the average citizen. Nobles? Or just the upper crust of sylph society out and about.“If you don’t mind,” the paladin said. “We can use one of the more discreet side-gates to enter the palace.”“Certainly,” Amaryllis said after I glanced her way. She knew this kind of thing better than I did, so of course I deferred to her.We were technically still in the Yellow District, but there weren’t any more shops or businesses around. I guessed that the area was too small to be worthy of having its own colour name so it was folded into the Yellow District, even though it was mostly residential.We reached a small road that led right up to a wall. Unlike the much larger city walls, this one was only maybe a floor and a bit high. I could probably leap right over it if I spent a bit of stamina and had a running start.A gatehouse sat in the wall, flanked by two soldiers in all-black uniforms. They had very strange hats on, part helmet, part fluff, with long crests of purple feathers sticking out the top. A third soldier stood above, protected by a small roof over the gate, and I imagined there were a few more around.The paladin stepped up to the gate and spoke a few words to the guard next to it who then turned smartly, stepped to the side, and pulled a cord.The gate-a big wooden thing with iron bands across it-thunked before opening up from within.The paladin saluted the guard who saluted right back, then he turned towards us. “Welcome to the Purple Palace,” he said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Royaltea
Chapter Two Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Royaltea The palace was a grand building, long and tall, with carefully laid stone walls with huge windows. Cleanly trimmed hedges encircled it, only broken up when there was an entrance into the mansion-like building.All along the exterior wall were small guard posts, not visible from the outside, where sylphs in uniform were standing at attention in the shade provided by their stations.“This way,” our paladin escort said. He took a sharp turn to the left and led us along a cobbled path around the estate. There were little rock gardens, some more normal flower gardens, and a couple of enclosed greenhouses. The paladin stiffened just a bit as we crossed one such greenhouse.I looked past the green glass walls and saw a young sylph girl, maybe a year or two younger than me, staring up from where she was trimming something looking like a rosebush. I grinned and waved, and she eventually waved back, though she looked confused about it.“That’s princess Gabriella,” the paladin said. “She’s the youngest member of the royal family.”“She likes gardening?” I asked.“Her flower arrangements are admired and often treasured,” he said. “Don’t repeat it, but she’s often doted on by the staff and her guardians. She was frail when she was younger. Gardening was an attempt to get her outside to take in some fresh air, and she seems to have taken to it quite well.”“That’s cute,” I declared.“This way,” the paladin said.He led us over to one of the side entrances, this one flanked by two more guards with plumed hats and halberds by their sides. After speaking with them for a moment, they opened the door and let us into a long corridor. There was a long carpet across the length of the room, with tiled floors visible along the edges. Every meter, there was a light sconce, with picture frames between each.I noticed even more guards at the end of the hall. “There’s a lot of guards here,” I said.“It’s considered a great honour to be a guard at the royal estate,” our guide said. “They receive additional training, as well as additional pay, though the real prize is the right to wear the uniform and crest of the royal family.”I didn’t quite get it, but I nodded along and followed as we crossed the length of the corridor, turned at a junction, then came to a stop before a pair of double doors.The paladin knocked twice. “Guests, for her highness, Princess Caprica,” he said.“Enter!” someone called out from within.The door was opened and we were ushered into a large, high-ceilinged room. There was a small shelf to one side with some few dozen books, and half of the room was taken up by a small stage on which sat a grand piano. The other half of the room was occupied by plump looking sofas and seats, as well as a small table in the centre.“You’re here, wonderful!”The girl that I assumed was Princess Caprica stood with the grace I’d expect from a princess. She wasn’t wearing a very princess-y outfit though. Instead she wore a uniform not too dissimilar from the one I’d seen soldiers wearing. It looked like it was made of a finer cut, and instead of being the same black as all the other uniforms I’d seen, this one was a deep, nearly-burgundy red.“Hello!” I said with a cheery wave.The princess approached us and paused a metre or so away from me. She stared at all three of us before chuckling. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Princess Caprica, but please, just call me Caprica.”“In that case,” I said. “I’m Broccoli, let’s be friends!”CapricaDreams: To marry her crush and live a long, happy life.Desired Quality: Someone who will accept her for who she is, another romantic soul.“Hello,” Awen said next. “I’m Awen.”“And I’m Amaryllis,” Amaryllis said. “It’s a pleasure.”Caprica nodded, almost a short bow. “It is! I hope you don’t mind, but I suspect I know more about you than you do about me. Unless Bastion said anything?”I shook my head. “Nope, he didn’t speak too much about his work with the royal family.” Actually, I could remember him telling me a story about one of the princesses breaking his foot, but that sounded a little embarrassing. “How come you know about us?”“Oh, nothing sinister. Bastion handed in his report and I had a quick peek at it. But come, let’s sit down. There’s tea being brewed as we speak, and the staff make excellent little pastries.”Caprica led us over to the seats, leaving a larger sofa on one side for us while she sat primly on the edge of a seat opposite.“So, what did the report say?” Amaryllis asked. “I have to admit to a certain level of curiosity.”“Oh, I can imagine,” Caprica said. “I have never been exactly keen on gossip, that’s the purview of some of my sisters more than myself, but I can’t imagine not being curious about a document that mentions me.”I nodded along. Caprica seemed very nice so far. A bit excitable? She still had the poise and bearing of a noble lady, but it felt like she was just brimming with excitement under the surface. She was bouncing on her seat, sitting right on the edge, and her wings were fluttering every so often. Quite the opposite of Awen, who was more of a born introvert, and certainly nothing like Amaryllis who was all sharp and rough on the outside with a soft squishy inside.“I hope Bastion didn’t exaggerate our adventures,” I said.“Oh! I hope he did. The report was a little light, owing to the limited time spent on it, I suppose, but it was positively terrifying to read. I can’t imagine Bastion facing so many challengers, and you with him, of course,” Caprica said.I nodded. “He was a great friend. We were lucky that he was there with us.”“He is pretty great,” Caprica said.“Have you known him for long?” Amaryllis asked.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.Caprica shifted on her seat. “Oh, for some time now. He was mostly attached to my older sister when I was a little younger. He’s always been someone that I admire, of course.” She smiled demurely, but I didn’t miss the faint blush touching her cheeks.“You called us over for tea, are there any tea-drinking traditions in Goldenalden?” I asked. It wouldn’t just be nice to know, I also wanted to shift the subject just a notch. It would be embarrassing to be caught bragging about our adventures.“Oh, nothing too complicated, I don’t think,” Caprica said.Tea arrived, served by a pair of sylph ladies in maid outfits who set a tray down on the table between us and then poured us four cups of a fragrant tea. They left some honey on the table, next to cream and milk in little porcelain saucers.“Thank you,” I said as I took a cup and breathed it in.A cup of mountain berry and sweet leaf tea, steeped overnight and served with aged honey. Professionally brewed. Provides a boost of energy and assists in stamina regeneration.“Oh, this is great,” I said as I took a sip. It was sweet, even without the honey. The honey did help, smoothing it. “Do you think I could buy some sweet leaves?”“You recognized the tea leaves from just a taste?” Caprica asked. “That’s impressive.”“Oh, I have a Tea Making skill,” I said. “It’s great for making good tea. A big part of my, ah, build, is about buffing and helping make new friends.”Caprica laughed. “That’s excellent. I don’t think you’ll find many people here who have skills of that sort. We tend to have a more martial focus, though you will find some excellent craftsylphs. My littlest sister is considering dipping her toes into potion-making, for example.”“Oh, that does sound nice,” I said. “What’s your class? Mine’s Cinnamon Bun Bun.”One of Caprica’s eyebrows rose. “You didn’t inspect me on entering?”“Isn’t that impolite?” I asked.“Oh, it is, but that hardly stops people.” Caprica said. “But if you want permission, then you have it.”I grinned and fired off my Insight skill at her.An Indomitable Bastion, Level ??, IntriguedI blinked. “Your class is Bastion?” I asked.“It is,” she said quite demurely. “It’s a respectable though uncommon class. Mostly it means that I’m quite hard to move when I don’t want to be moved. I think a few of my siblings have some unkind things to say about the hardness of my head, for example.”“That’s a neat class!” I decided. “I bet you’re tough in a fight.”“I can stand on my own, though there hasn’t been too much fighting in my life. Being a princess doesn’t lend itself to many life or death battles. Though, from what I understand, two of you are noble ladies in your own right, and you certainly haven’t shied away from any fights.”“We’ve been in our share of scraps,” Amaryllis said. “Though I wouldn’t call any of us expert fighters or combattants.”“Yeah,” I agreed. “Fighting isn’t usually any fun, it’s all scary and you spend more time worrying about your friends and thinking you might get hurt rather than enjoying it. There’s stuff that’s fun around it, though. It’s nice to be able to really trust your friends with your life, and exploring dungeons is super cool. I’ve seen places and things that I’d never have seen if I didn’t take that risk.”“Interesting,” Caprica said. “I never really had too many opportunities to go out and explore on my own, or in a small group, like that. I must admit to a certain amount of envy.”‘Aw, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring things up that way,” I said.She waved the comment off. “It’s entirely fine,” she said. “So! Bastion’s report didn’t mention why your group flew all the way over to Sylphfree. Though I imagine it has something to do with the summit coming up.”Amaryllis nodded. “Indeed. We’re here to deliver a few letters and such. The usual political riff-raff.”I blinked. That didn’t sound entirely right. Was Amaryllis doing something?“Speaking of, what do you know about the summit? We might attend, especially if there’s still room for a few extra people to be present,” Amaryllis continued.“Honestly, not all that terribly much,” Caprica said. “My interests tend to lie more on the military side of things, which I know has had some small changes as of late. But I can’t say that I’m well versed with the political side. Some of my brothers care about that a lot more than I do.”“We’re a bit worried,” I said. “That's why we came.”“Worried?” Caprica asked.I nodded. “Yeah. A lot of the nations on Dirt, or this part of it anyway, seem to maybe be thinking of fighting each other. A war would be terrible.”Caprica shook her head. “No one would be foolish enough to challenge Sylphfree in an open war.”Amaryllis snorted. “Some harpies would be eager to do just that, and the cervid outnumber any force Sylphfree could muster ten to one. Your nation has an impressive military, but only when viewed in a vacuum. I think a war on the scale now possible would be a disaster for everyone involved.”Caprica looked genuinely confused for a moment. She took a slow sip from her tea while considering it. “Maybe I have been a little naive,” she said. “I suppose it’s easy to believe stories about your own nation’s greatness.”“I’m impressed you can look past that so easily,” Amaryllis said.“I happen to know that a lot of the stories that are spread around are quite inaccurate. You wouldn’t believe what people think of the royal family. It’s almost as if my siblings and I can do no wrong according to some. They’ve never seen little Gabrielle sick, or my father trip over a loose bit of rug.”I laughed at the mental image of a fancy king losing his crown to a crooked carpet. “I guess not. We should talk about nicer things though! Being all sad isn’t any fun.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy — Okay-Authoritarian
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy — Okay-Authoritarian “Any plans now that you’re in Goldenalden?” Caprica asked. She leaned forwards and set her teacup down with a faint clink of porcelain on porcelain.“We have a few,” Amaryllis said. “Mostly, in order to see where everyone stands, we want to speak with the representatives of each nation attending the summit. Otherwise, I think Broccoli wants to play tourist a little.”“And we promised to clean up the local Exploration Guild!” I added. “Oh! Actually, that reminds me. Bastion told me something and I kinda forgot all about it.”“Oh?” Caprica asked.I nodded. “Yeah, he mentioned that there was a library in the capital that could help with skill-related stuff.”“Do you have issues with that?” Caprica asked.“A bit? I got a new skill called Proportion Distortion, and I don’t exactly know what it does, or how to train it. I’d like to know if it’s useful at all before investing in it,” I said. “I did receive some less than useful skills before, so I’m hoping that this one isn’t like that. Actually, that’s another thing I’d like to look into, how to get rid of terribly unfair, no-good skills.” Like Adorable, but I wasn’t about to admit to that skill aloud.“Proportion Distortion, can’t say I’ve ever heard of that skill,” Caprica said. “The library is open until decently late, and it’s only barely noon. If you want, I could escort you over? Perhaps we can grab something to eat on the way? I rarely have an excuse to try food outside of the palace.”“You’d do that?” I asked.“Of course! As long as you tell me more stories about your adventures with Bastion,” she said. “Besides, the library won’t give you trouble if I’m there.”“Is it a private establishment?” Amaryllis asked.Caprica shook her head. “Technically, it’s entirely public. But the librarians are quite jealous of their books and institution. They tend to show ruffians the door if they’re too noisy, and they might not offer to help someone that they think looks... bizarre.”I glanced at my friends, then up to the ears hovering on the edge of my vision. “Yeah, we probably don’t look like the most normal bunch, do we?”Caprica giggled. “I’m sure Bastion didn’t think of that. He’s a great sylph, but on occasion he forgets the impact that a paladin has on the citizenry.”“What kind of impact is that?” I asked.“People tend to be on their best behaviour around a paladin. Not just because of their abilities as law-enforcement, though I suppose that is a factor, but also because... there’s a certain romanticism about paladins. Those like Bastion-who tend to embody every part of that ideal-most of all.”That made some sense. If he was a respected person, then people would treat him with respect, and he might not notice that those same people weren’t treating others the same way.I could remember people who were popular and had lots of friends failing to notice those who had none, because to them, it was normal to have a lot of friends.I glanced at Amaryllis and Awen and noted that they were both done with their tea. “Well then, maybe we should head out? We can talk on the way, and I bet you know all the best places to eat in Goldenalden.”“I know a few good spots,” Caprica said. She stood and tugged her coat’s lapels on tighter. “Do you ladies mind giving me just a moment? My station doesn’t afford me the ability to leave on just a moment’s notice.”“That’s fine,” I said.Caprica smiled and walked off towards the room’s exit. The guards there were so quiet and had moved so little that I only noticed them now that one reached out to open the door for Caprica.“She’s pretty nice,” I said to my friends, voice low enough that we wouldn’t be overheard. We weren’t saying anything mean, but it was still a bit rude to talk about someone when they weren’t around, even if it was mostly to compliment them.“She’s strange,” Amaryllis said.Awen stifled a giggle. “Strange? I think she’s okay. She seems to, ah, really like Bastion.”“Yeah, to get a whole class with one of your friend’s names in it, that’s something,” I said.Awen’s cheeks reddened and she nodded. “I think, ah, well, it’s none of our business, I guess. Maybe she’s being nice because she’s jealous?”“I don’t think being jealous usually leads people towards people being nice,” I said.“No, no, she’s, ah, is it envious? Right, she’s envious that we spent a lot of time with Bastion, so now she’s being nice to us so that she can find out what happened when we were with him,” Awen said.“That is strange,” I said. “Then again, I’d love to make friends with my friend’s friends, if they had any.”“Somehow, I feel insulted, but I’m not entirely sure why,” Amaryllis said.Caprica returned, now wearing a coat over her uniform-like outfit. “I’m ready to head out. I hope the presence of a guard doesn’t distract you?”“Of course not,” I said as I bounced to my feet, then turned to help my friends up. “What kind of street food is there around here?”“You won’t find much in the purple district,” Caprica said. “But further south there should be a few places where we can grab a bite. Street vendors are considered a bit crass, but they need to submit to frequent inspections, so there’s little to worry about.”“Huh. Yeah. So far Sylphfree feels very... rule-heavy, and streetfood is like, the opposite of that?”“How is street food anti-authoritarian?” Amaryllis asked.“Well, it’s kind of messy but it tastes good,” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “You’re entirely nonsensical at times, I swear.”Laughing, I wrapped an arm around her wing, then turned towards Caprica. “Let’s go? You can tell us about the city on the way. We haven’t had time to do all the tourist things yet.”The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.“Certainly.”When Caprica mentioned that she would need an escort, I was thinking something along the lines of a chaperone. Maybe that paladin whose name I never caught who delivered her letter to us at the guild.I wasn’t expecting to follow Caprica-who was making smalltalk about the palace and its various additions over time-to the main entrance hall of the palace where a squad of soldiers were waiting.“Oh, you’re here already,” Caprica said to the soldier that looked like she was in charge.“Ready when you are, ma’am,” was her quick reply.I didn’t see that many girl soldiers around, but half of this little unit had girls in it. Maybe that made sense, if they were going overboard with the protection like this, then they’d probably insist on following Caprica to the washroom and such.It was a bit much in my opinion, but maybe the streets of Goldenalden were a lot more dangerous than I expected them to be.Caprica had to prepare a few things quickly, mostly that involved quick instructions to serving staff while my friends and I and the soldiers waited around. At least the lobby was quite nice, with tile walls all delicately placed to create pretty patterns that rose up to the arched ceiling above. It was more artful decoration than I was used to seeing in Goldenalden.“All done,” Caprica said as she returned to us. She tugged on a coat around her shoulders, the fur inside looking nice and soft. “Shall we?”“Sure!” I said. “Lead the way.”We stepped out into a bit of chilly weather. There were big lazy snowflakes coming down from above, and the wind, though weak, had some bite to it.“Snow!” I cheered. I bounced up and caught a flake on the tip of my tongue. “I haven’t seen snow in forever.”The wind was carrying great white sheets across the mountainside, some of it rolling up and towards the peak of the mountain on which the capital hung.“It’s always a bit colder up here,” Caprica said. “We’re a ways to the north, and we’re high off the ground as well.”“It’s pleasant,” Amaryllis said. “The Nesting Kingdom often has to deal with cooler winds and snow, though we have the warmer wind from out west to keep things mostly mild in the warmer seasons.”“It’s c-cold,” Awen said.I spun towards her to find my friend hugging herself and looking even paler than usual. “Oh no,” I said before I moved to her side and wrapped an arm around her back. “You poor thing.”“Is she well?” Caprica asked. “I can give you my coat. The staff will throw a snit over my being outside without a coat, but I’m quite used to the chill.”“A-ah, it’s just, um, colder than I’m used to,” Awen said. Her coat wasn’t made of a material suited to the environment, it was more of a windbreaker in that way, and the little bit of armour she wore likely wasn’t helping.I nodded. “We should find you a blanket before we get too far. Caprica, I don’t mean to impose, but do you think there’s a spare blanket around?”“I’d be quite surprised if there wasn’t at least one in the entire palace,” Caprica said. “Although, Lady Awen, do you know any fire magic?”“Ah, not really? Enough to light a candle?”Amaryllis huffed a ‘I’ll handle this’ huff and walked over to Awen. “Give me your hands. Caprica’s likely thinking of a simple warming spell. There are a few that we use in the Nesting Kingdom.”“Can you apply that on someone else?” I asked.“There are some that are mostly used to keep little chicks warm,” Amaryllis said. “They’re perfectly safe, though the spell will wear off in a few hours.”Amaryllis took Awen’s hands, and there was an exchange of magic that I could only barely feel. Awen let out a gasp and her cheeks flushed. “Oh, that’s nice.”“You’ll have to teach me that spell.” I said.“You seem to be handling the cold well enough,” Amaryllis said.“Well, yeah, I’m from a cold place, this is nice and comfy weather, but I still want to learn that spell. Imagine getting a hug from someone, and then you feel all warm and cozy inside?” I clenched my fist, a new determination filling me. “It would bring me one step closer to perfecting the hug.”Caprica giggled demurely. “How determined. Are you an expert at hugging, then?”I shook my head. I wasn’t an expert. I was nowhere near as talented as someone like Momma. “Not yet. But I’ll get there one day. Which means lots of practicing on my friends.”Awen laughed. “I don’t mind, hugs are nice.”Amaryllis sniffed, but she didn’t deny the obvious truth.We walked out of the front gate, a group of guards opening the path for us. “I hope you don’t mind walking all the way to the library?” Caprica asked. “We could get a coach, but the fastest route is through a few narrow roads. And stretching my legs would be nice.”“Sure,” I said. My friends didn’t seem to mind either.“So, your hugging, did you try that on Bastion?” Caprica asked. “I can’t imagine his being, ah, willing to do that kind of thing.”“Huh? Of course I’ve hugged him. He’s a bit stiff, but he’s not too bad.”“You, you did?” Caprica asked.“A couple of times,” I said. “He was a member of the Beaver Cleaver’s crew. We’re all very close, you know.”Amaryllis shook her head, talon over her face in the way she did when I said something silly without realizing it. “So, which direction is this library in?” she asked.“Oh? Ah, yes,” Caprica asked. She seemed a little bit flustered. “This way.”And so, with the princess in the lead, we took off towards the grand library, a trail of soldiers behind us like orderly ducklings.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-One — Fortress of Knowledge
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-One — Fortress of Knowledge “This is it,” Caprica said. “It’s not the most impressive of buildings from the exterior, but the library has been a part of Goldenalden since its very founding. It was actually the second building commissioned by my great-great-grandfather after the construction of the royal palace, not that the palace from back then would be at all recognizable today.”I gawked at the library; it seemed like the polite thing to do. The building was, unlike most of the other buildings in Goldenalden, still clearly part of the mountain. Stone rose up around it on all sides but the front, as if someone had turned the mountainside into wet clay and had pressed an entire edifice out of it.The front was different, made of large stone slabs stacked together, and with a pair of colonnades next to a large doorway. There were windows too, but they were the thin, slitted sort that I’d seen on castles before, not the wider windows you’d expect to see.“It looks a bit strange,” I said. Especially compared to the far more ordinary buildings surrounding it.“The library was built at a time when Sylphfree was still very much plagued by dragons and their offspring,” Caprica said. “It was designed to be a repository for crucial knowledge, books, maps, and scrolls. I think it served as a school once too, for young nobles.”“Was it meant to be hidden?” Awen asked. “The rocks look like they were moved by a geomancer, maybe. I’ve seen places that look a little like that before. The Ostri build huts out in the desert near Mattergrove the same way, though those aren’t as big.”Caprica nodded. “The Ostri are the desert folk, right? I imagine that this is somewhat similar. And yes, the building would be hard to see from above if it weren’t placed in the middle of the city. Thick stone walls, decent natural camouflage. It was all designed so that a creature flying above wouldn’t notice it. I do believe that at the time, the paladins-the order being much smaller four or five generations ago-were skilled with magics that allowed them to hide better as well.”“So the library was hidden in plain sight,” I said.“More or less. Come on, it should be open at this hour.”We followed Caprica into the library, some of her guards forming up next to the entrance both inside and out.I was expecting the interior of the library to be fairly fancy. Maybe some big room, with plenty of lighting, but instead it was relatively cramped within. Thick walls and lots of small rooms except for a big stairwell right in the centre where stone steps led up and to the floors above.A counter to the side had a nice librarian sylph behind it, perusing a big tome that looked like it was filled with names and addresses and the names of books. A system to tell who had taken out which book, maybe?“Hello,” Caprica said as she walked up to the counter.The lady behind it stared with wide eyes. “P-princess,” she said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. How can I help?”Caprica smiled. “I have a few guests here, friends from... well, all over, really. We were looking for some information. Ah, Captain Bunch?”“If you’re a friend, you should really be calling me Broccoli,” I chided softly. “Then I can keep calling you Caprica, because if I’m your friend, then you’re my friend too.”Caprica’s cheeks actually warmed a little, which I found very cute, but I wasn’t about to tell her that because it was far too rude. “Thank you, Broccoli.”“Ah, very well then, what is the captain looking for?” the librarian asked.I leaned onto the counter, a big grin on. “I was told that the library here had a sort of record of all the classes and skills.”“We hardly know all of them,” The librarian said. “But we do keep a record of both.”“Neat! I got a skill recently that I was wondering about, I don’t really know what it does, or even what I did to get it. Could you help me?”“Are you looking to merge it into something better, or do you just want to know what the skill does?” she asked.“Uh,” I said.Caprica laughed demurely. “I think perhaps we can look at both options. What was the exact name of the skill again?”“Proportion Distortion,” I said. “The description only says that it can help me fit in and out, which is very vague.”“That is rather on the vague side,” the librarian said. She pulled out a notepad and scribbled something on it. “I’m afraid that I’m not the most qualified to assist you. Forgive me. But there is an archivist on the second floor, the blue room. He should be able to assist you, and is more familiar with the stacks, besides.”“Thank you!” I said.“Awa, is there a section of the library with, um, blueprints and mechanical things?” Awen asked.“Those would be in different sections,” the librarian said. “But I can help you find both.”I turned towards Amaryllis. “Are you going to look for something too?” I asked.“I don’t have anything I need in particular here, though I wouldn’t mind perusing, if that’s permissible. Or perhaps I can look at whatever spells they have publicly available here.” Amaryllis’ eyebrows rose. “Actually, disregard that. I’ll come with you, Broccoli. If this archivist knows anything about skills, they might know of some skills that I could merge to help me reach my goal.”“You mean your goal to turn people into meat puppets?” I asked.“Please, please don’t call it that,” Amaryllis said.We started up the stairs, only one of the guards following us from a slight distance. “Meat puppets?” Caprica asked with an amount of concern that was probably warranted.“Amaryllis has a cool Puppeteering class,” I explained. “She can control puppets really well.”“I’m still far from skilled enough to call anything I do with the art proficient,” Amaryllis said.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.“Puppetry is an interesting hobby,” Caprica said. I had the impression that she really didn’t care all that much, but was being nice anyway.“Anyway, Amaryllis’ main class is electricity-based, and people’s nerves use electrical currents to signal their muscles to move, so she’s combining the two to make spells that allow her to puppet people’s bodies with magic.”Caprica blinked, then stared at Amaryllis.“It was an idea I had,” Amaryllis dismissed. “It’s still very experimental.”“That sounds quite terrifying,” Caprica said.“It’s of limited use for now,” Amaryllis admitted. “I think most strong combatants would be able to work around it. Some magics counter it entirely, and it doesn’t prevent a spellcaster from casting spells, not unless they still need to gesture to cast. That’s not counting adversaries with strange biology. We frequently run into bizarre creatures in dungeons where my skills would go to waste.”“Yeah, but then you can just blast them with lightning, that usually works too,” I said.“True,” Amaryllis replied. “The puppeteering skill is meant to be used as more of a force multiplier. If I can control someone’s body, then I can take them out of the fight with far less effort. It’s greatest advantage, I imagine, is in subterfuge and from a more psychological perspective.”“I see,” Caprica said. “Is everyone in your crew quite so fearsome?”I laughed. “No, of course not! I only have Cleaning magic going for me, and some weird bun martial arts. Awen mostly uses her mechanic’s skills to fix and use her crossbows. I think she’s still working on her Glass magic. We’re not actually all that focused on fighting and stuff.”“I suppose that's one of the advantages of being more exploration-focused. Though from the reports Bastion filed, you were in quite a few high-risk adventures.”“Not that many,” I dismissed. “We had entire days go past where nothing happened.”The archivist’s room wasn’t too hard to find. Not only did it have a coloured door, there was also a plaque next to it that read ‘The Archivist’ which was very handy. Grinning, I stepped up to the door and knocked twice. “Hello!”My ears twitched as I heard some shuffling on the other side before the door opened. A man stood there, a sylph who was on the shorter side, with frumpled robes and a big scowl on. He adjusted his glasses and fired off a glare at the three of us. “Yes?” he snapped.“Hi! I’m Broccoli, and I was told that we could find the archivist here? For skill stuff?”“For skill stuff,” he repeated before scoffing. “Let me guess, one of you three unlocked some skill you’ve never heard of in your short, poorly educated lives, and now you think to bother me about it?”“I mean, essentially, yes,” I said. “I got a new skill and I have no idea what it is or does, and I was told that the people here could help?”“Then search the stacks, that’s assuming you’re literate at all?” he said.This man was being very rude, but it wasn’t nice to be rude back to someone, even if it might feel better in the moment. “I think all three of us are able to read, yes,” I said. “But if we weren’t then we’d still ask you for help. It’s not fair to discriminate against people like that.”“Ah yes, because why would I discriminate against a bun and a harpy of all things?” he asked.A hand grabbed onto my shoulder, and I half turned to find Caprica smiling past me while carefully pushing me aside. “Hello sir,” she said. “As I understand it, you’re unwilling to assist these two?”The archivist frowned. “They hardly look like they belong here, do they?” he asked.“I see, thank you for your time then,” she said before turning. “Come on, the library is technically run off of the royal coffers. I’m certain that the head librarian would make time for a quick visit.”The archivist snorted. “Are you done bothering me then?” he asked.“You wouldn’t happen to know if the head librarian is in, would you?” Caprica asked.“If he is, I doubt he’d want to speak with...” he paused to stare at Amaryllis and I. “Ruffians.”Caprica nodded, then she turned to the soldier waiting behind us on the top of the steps. Judging by the way the archivist blinked, he hadn’t noticed them. “Could you inform the head librarian of my upcoming visit? A minute’s warning is better than none.”“Yes, Princess,” the soldier said before doing an about-face and running off.“Princess?” the archivist asked, his voice losing some of its surety.“Yes,” Caprica said. “I was escorting these diplomats around, showing them the great luxuries of Goldenalden when one had a question that we thought an archivist like yourself could answer.”“Oh,” he said. “Well, I’m certain I can answer any question,” he replied.Caprica looked very unimpressed. “I think you’ve answered plenty of questions,” she said. “Captain Broccoli, Lady Amaryllis, if you wouldn’t mind following me, I’m certain we can get everything sorted out in no time at all. I’m very sorry for this entire thing, you don’t deserve such treatment.”“It’s okay?” I said as I followed after her. Had that entire thing been... speciesism? I reached up and tugged at one of my ears. I’d been told I couldn’t do things because I was a girl before, but never because I had big ears and a tail. “He was very rude,” I said, even though I knew that the archivist could probably still hear me. It felt very... vindictive.“I’m sorry,” Caprica said. “I wish people weren’t like that. Once we find the head librarian I’m sure we can sort everything out.”“It’s fine,” Amaryllis said. “I think we expected some level of such treatment on arriving here.”Caprica’s frown suggested that she was very much not pleased with that answer.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two — Chivalry Isn't Dead
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two — Chivalry Isn't Dead The second archivist we met was a whole lot more friendly than the first. A bit too friendly, maybe?Not that I believed that someone could be too friendly, but they were... nervously friendly. Like they knew they might get into trouble if they didn’t act nice, so any niceness they did have didn’t feel quite as genuine as it could be. It reminded me a bit of talking to a salesperson in a store. The smiles weren’t fake, but they weren’t entirely real either.“Proportion Distortion,” the archivist said as they walked through the stacks, their eyes roaming over the bindings of the books above them. The shelves were quite a bit taller than I was used to, but then again, the sylph could fly, so it made sense they’d build without worrying about height. “Ah.” They reached up and tugged a book out from a high shelf and then opened it on the spot, pages flipping by as they skimmed through the tome. “Yes, this is it.”We returned to a quieter table in a corner of the library illuminated by a magical, flame-less lamp, and one of those tall slit-windows. Caprica, Amaryllis and I squeezed in around the table while the archivist laid the book down in front of us.“This section right over here, Captain,” they said, a finger tapping at the page they’d opened to. “This is an older text, it hasn’t been reformatted to the current standard. I can explain some of it, if you wish.”I leaned forwards to read.“Proportion Distortion. A skill thus far associated with a few rare stealth, infiltration, and entertainment classes. At the lower ranks (Novice to Apprentice) the skill seems to lend a certain amount of flexibility to the user. This flexibility mostly functions when the skill holder is attempting to enter a small location or pass through a small obstruction.This skill tends to be notably less useful than a skill like Enhanced Flexibility, especially as the conditions to trigger it are more specific.Uniquely, the skill has a social component, assisting the user in appearing to be part of any group they are attempting to join or infiltrate or entertain. This is difficult to assess and test, but it is a noted, if minor, advantage of the skill, and may be why more assassination-inclined classes have access to it.At higher ranks (Disciple and above) the skill allows the user to enlarge or reduce themselves in sizer. The user’s weight remains constant, but they literally become larger or smaller at the expense of a constant drain of magical energy. Useful for infiltration, and an ability that can be used in combat to some effect.“Whoa,” I said. That sounded really neat. I could do without the whole assassination stuff, but the... I guess it was a buff to social stuff was nice, and being able to make myself bigger or smaller sounded super neat.“That’s such a Broccoli skill,” Amaryllis said.“Well, it’s from one of my classes,” I said.“I meant more in the sense that it looks like a waste of a skill, but I’m certain you’ll find a way to use it to its full potential,” Amaryllis said.I grinned over at her. “I can try,” I said. Reaching down, I turned the page, but there didn’t seem to be anything more about the skill except for a long list of what I guessed were references. “Huh, there’s nothing on how to train the skill.”Caprica reached up and cupped her cheek, an elbow on the table. “Usually that comes from using the skill. Though in this case I can see how it would be a difficult skill to practice.”I nodded. “Well, I can always try squeezing into small places, that doesn’t sound too hard.”Proportion Distortion E — 29%The skill had already gotten a bit of experience, though rank E was usually very easy to fill up. I guessed that it was more the social aspect of the skill that was getting me that experience. I couldn’t recall squishing into anything, except maybe for a few shorter sylph-made doorways.“If I may,” the archivist said. “You might consider practicing in some dungeons that are known for having confined, tight spaces. It’s been noted that training in a situation where the person is challenged tends to produce much greater results.”“Broccoli’s levelling speed is genuinely incredible,” Amaryllis said. “She went from basically nothing to catching up to me in little over two months. I blame her lack of self-preservation.”“Hey now!” I said.Amaryllis huffed a sort of ‘I’m just tugging your tail’ kind of huff.“Are there any other skills that you have questions about?” the Archivist asked."Well ..." I trailed off.The archivist gave me a smile that was clearly trying to be encouraging.""Uh... since we’re here and you don’t seem to mind answering, I...” I paused, glancing at Amaryllis, but she merely looked perplexed, so I turned back to the Archivist and took a deep breath. “This is embarrassing, but do you know of any good skills that can combine with Adorable to get rid of it. Please?”I noticed one of Caprica’s eyebrows rising, but she didn’t comment, which was great. My cheeks felt warm just from admitting I had that no-good skill.“On the topic of unfortunate skills,” Amaryllis added. “I have, of all things, Huffing.” She huffed very nicely to prove it. “I don’t imagine there’s something that can combine neatly with that?”The archivist stood and bowed quickly. “I’ll be right back. We happen to have a lot of resources for combinable skills. Are there any others you want me to search for?”I shook my head, and Amaryllis did the same.“You two seem to have some fairly unique skill sets,” Caprica said.“Really? I think we mostly just have skills that we pick up along the way. I was never one for min-maxing or anything like that,” I said.“We have been in some relatively dangerous situations. I think we’ve faced, what was it, four dungeons in the last month?”I frowned. Had it been that many? “We did some other stuff too.”“Ah yes, our other activities, such as visiting small hostile, negotiating with dragons, beating up a gang, fighting pirates, and getting shot at with lasers.”The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.I laughed, and then had to explain to a curious Caprica that our adventures really had been pretty tame so far. Amaryllis argued the opposite, but Amaryllis liked arguing.“I’ve brought anything I could find,” the archivist said as they returned, this time with a stack of tomes that they dropped onto the edge of the table with a heavy thump. “Forgive me, I didn’t expect it to take quite so long, but both skills are rather uncommon, and it took a moment to draw up a list.”I blinked as the archivist set down two pages onto the table. One was labelled ‘Adorable’, the other ‘Huffing.’“Did you write all of that while you were gone?” I asked as I picked the page up. There was a short list on it.“Library magic makes cross-referencing works relatively easy,” they said.I set the page down and leaned over it.The Adorable skill has been noted to combine with the following skills to produce the following result:Adorable merged with Romancing creates the Friendzone skill.“What’s the Friendzone skill do?” I asked.Caprica choked.“The Friendzone skill passively increases romantic attention, but also makes it actively easier for the skill holder to reject that kind of advance. It can also provide a buff in a zone around them to anyone who considers the holder a friend. It’s a skill frequently held by courtesans. Did you want to read the full reports on the skill?”I hummed. Not something I really needed, then. It wasn’t like people were frequently attracted to me that way. Besides, I had a lot of buff skills already. “I think I’m okay, thanks.”Adorable merged with both an Unarmed Combat Proficiency or Martial Art, and a Homemaking skill creates the Wai-fu skill.Another strange martial art? Well, I had Way of the Mystic Bun already, so I probably didn’t need this one.Adorable merged with Booksmarts creates the Adorkable Skill.“What’s the Adorkable skill?” I asked.“It makes the user seem more attractive, especially when they’re working on something they're passionate about, usually that will be an academic subject,” the archivist said. “It’s common enough with librarians and archivists who are more socially inclined.”Not what I was looking for either. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for to begin with. Something better and more useful than Adorable. Something I could be properly proud of!Adorable merged with Intimidation-like skills creates the Adorifying skill.Nope.Adorable merged with Door Making Proficiency creates A-door-able.Too silly.Adorable merged with Persuasions creates Mystic Eyes of Puppy Dogs.That was just weird.Adorable merged with a Chivalry-based skill and a Leadership-based skill creates Dork Knight.My hand slammed into the table and I jumped to my feet. Everyone startled, but I could apologize later. “That’s perfect,” I said. “What’s the Dork Knight skill do?” I asked.“Ah,” The archivist said. They shuffled through the books and opened one up before paging through it in a hurry. “Dork Knight. It’s an uncommon skill, we only have two examples on record to pull from. The skill seems to focus mostly on assisting the user with chivalrous actions. They tend to be unaffiliated, and somewhat difficult to read.”“So it’s like a dark and mysterious knight skill,” I said.“I’m quite certain that’s exactly what it isn’t,” Amaryllis said.I decided to ignore her. I was allowed to dream, darn it. “What’s a Chivalry-based skill?”“Certain sets of skills are broadly folded into a wider category,” the archivist said. “In this case, there are dozens of skills centred around chivalrous and knightly actions. Chivalry is one, Paladin’s Chivalry is another, then there are knightly orders with their own unique skills. Chivalry of the Knights of the World is a nearly unique skill that still shares most of its traits with the Chivalry skill.”“Oh, that makes sense. So it’s like Swordplay Proficiency and Sword Fighting.”The archivist nodded. “Two skills that are, for the most part, identical, but with slight differences in execution or use. Your example would both fit under the Sword Proficiency, for example. Some careers ask that a person have a skill that fits within a broader category. Librarians obviously need some sort of book-related skill, but whether that’s Booksmarts or Book Learning Proficiency doesn’t truly matter.”I nodded along. It made sense, if only so that people didn’t have to have big lists of applicable skills. “So how do I get a Chivalry-based skill?”The archivist shuffled through their books again, but they answered while searching. “Broadly speaking, such a skill will probably come from focused, continuous action.”“So I need to be real chivalrous for a while,” I said.“Exactly.”I grinned. “That sounds perfect.”“Oh, World,” Amaryllis muttered.“Now, what’s chivalry?”Caprica giggled, a hand pressed over her mouth to keep their mirth in. “Oh, you are wonderful, Captain Bunch. Chivalry is the way a knight or soldier should act. It’s a code, basically. A promise to act with courtesy and kindness, to uphold justice, to help the weak, and to act with honour above all else.”I blinked. “But that’s just being nice. How can being nice be a skill?”“The skill presumably helps the skilled act accordingly,” Caprica said. “It helps knights pick the just option.”“But... I mean, some situations make it hard to know what the right thing is, but most of the time, it’s just the right thing to do.”Amaryllis reached over and pat me on the head. “Not everyone has the same moral fibre as you, Broccoli.”“My morals aren’t complicated; just be nice to everyone and treat everybody fairly, it’s not hard.”“Sure, sure,” Amaryllis dismissed.There had to be more to this chivalry thing than just being nice. “Does Bastion have a chivalry skill?” I asked.“I would imagine that he does, yes,” Caprica said.“Well then, I’ll just ask him how he got it, and then I’ll do the same thing.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Three — Knight of the Feather Duster
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Three — Knight of the Feather Duster “After you, ma’am,” I said as I opened the door before my friends.Awen curtsied, as she had done at every other door I opened for her, and Amaryllis rolled her eyes, also as she had been doing all morning.After leaving Caprica at the entrance of the library the day before, I had started practicing my chivalry. That meant opening doors for ladies, and helping them sit down, and also fighting monsters. So far I was two for three in the chivalry department, and I was sure we’d have to fight some sort of monster eventually.“You know this isn’t going to work,” Amaryllis said.“It probably won’t work,” I said. “Which doesn’t mean it will never work, just that it’s somewhat unlikely to work. Unlikely isn’t impossible... ma’am.”Amaryllis huffed a mighty huff. “Stop calling me ma’am.”“I think it’s cute,” Awen said. “Broccoli’s not doing anything mean.”“Opening doors and being courteous isn’t mean, no, but it’s annoying when it’s coming from Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “Besides, I can open my own doors, thank-you-very-much.”“I would never imply that you can’t, ma’am,” I replied.Awen giggled while Amaryllis fumed quietly.I started practicing chivalry the night before, and so far I hadn’t gotten a skill for it. But I did get a lot of innocent fun teasing Amaryllis by being too nice to her, so that was a plus. I figured I could keep it up for a little bit. Being chivalrous was basically being nice with extra steps, and that sounded just peachy to me.“Are you going to open the door to the guild too?” Amaryllis asked some time later as we arrived at the front of the Goldenalden Exploration Guild. The place still looked as rough as it had the day before.“I certainly will, my lady,” I said before bowing at the waist to Amaryllis.She crossed her arms and pouted while Awen laughed next to her. “You don’t know how to bow,” Awen said.“I don’t?” I asked.She shook her head, then smiled as I opened the door for her. “I’ll show you later.”“Please don’t,” Amaryllis said.“Ah, hello!”Reginald was standing in the lobby, along with a sylph that I didn’t recognize but who was obviously some sort of journalist. He had a small cap on, with a feather sticking out of it, and he had a notepad tucked into one of the pockets of his ink-stained coat. A bag sat by his feet, big and lumpy, with the flash-bulb of a camera sticking out of the top of it. The journalist nodded. “Hello,” he said.“Hello Reginald,” Amaryllis said. “And hello Mister...”“Yanick, I work for World Watcher Weekly,” the journalist said.We had a quick round of handshaking and introductions, Reginald standing to the side and smiling the entire time. “Yanick here will be running a small article on your journey all the way here. I was hoping that one of you could sit with him and recount the tale?”“Ah, it can’t be me,” I said. “I promised I’d do some gardening and clean the place up, remember?”“Yes, of course,” Reginald said.“Awen and I should be able to retell the story without issue,” Amaryllis said. “Should we do that here, or is there a more comfortable place to have this kind of discussion?”“There’s a lounge room upstairs,” Reginald said. “I’ll guide you there in a moment. Captain Bunch, you’ll find all the tools you need in the shed out back.” He searched his pockets for a moment before handing me a keyring. And then, before I knew it, my friends were ushered up the stairs and I was left in the guild’s lobby with a keyring in hand.“Uh, okay,” I said to the empty room.Shrugging, I started to wander around. It didn’t take long to find a broom closet under the stairs. I had Cleaning magic, of course, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want to swish a duster around as I worked.And I couldn't swish-swish a duster around if I didn’t have a duster to swish-swish.I started with the lobby, humming to myself even as I pushed Cleaning magic into the duster I wielded and into the air around me as an aura. That meant that the more time I spent around a corner, the more my magic ate away at the dust and grime and cob-webs. Swishing the duster against the glass display cases and spider-webs only made it faster.Of course, I made sure that there weren’t any poor spiders on the webs I was cleaning away, and when I did find one, I’d carefully coax it onto my hand, then go outside where I placed the nice spider on the bit of grass next to the guild.Once the lobby was sparkly and clean and smelled fresh, I moved through the guild, mostly keeping to the corridors until I found an exit to the back.The yard there was rough, with the grass having gotten too tall and filled with weeds.The shed at the very back was a bit run down, but still serviceable, though there was a small bee’s nest clumped onto one side of it.I made sure not to disturb any of them as I fetched a few tools. There was a reel mower, stuck in the back, and some trowels and rakes and other tools. Most of them had a patina of rust, but a quick inspection and I figured they were perfectly usable, if in need of a bit of maintenance.So I tugged out the tools I needed and got to work. The reel mower chewed through the grass with a whirl, especially after I pumped some magic into it to make it run smoother, and then, once the small lawn was all trimmed up, I started to dig out the weeds one by one.I was actually having quite a bit of fun! Gardening was a nice, quiet way to spend some time. I wished I had a friend to share the quiet with, but being alone for a little bit wasn’t so bad.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.I moved around to the front and started to tend to the plants around the guild’s entrance.It was quiet out. People were at work, and those who weren’t were usually older sylph moving past in a hurry, clearly quite busy, or younger sylph that looked like they were scouring the city, looking for some fun trouble to get up to. I had a few gawkers; I guess a bun doing gardening work in an armoured dress wasn’t all that common a sight in Goldenalden. No one interrupted though, except for some kids that ran off laughing when I made silly faces and wiggled my ears at them.The flowers at the front of the guild were in dire need of some love. They were still strong, with good roots holding them in place, but they were being choked out by some meddling weeds.I tugged the weeds out and set them to the side. They could be mulched up later and used as fertilizer, maybe.Gardening — D-34%Not bad!Once the flowers were given a bit of space and some water, they had a better chance of growing big and strong. I cleaned up the flower boxes, then got to cleaning the front of the guild. It was tricky to get to the higher parts. I could only jump so high, after all, and flinging Cleanballs at the windows and facade was only so effective at taking off the grime and dirt caked onto the bricks.I was just trying to figure out a way to get to the very top of the building-maybe I could hang off the edge?-when the front door opened and Awen stuck her head out. “Oh, there you are,” she said.“Heya,” I said. “Is everything going well?”She nodded. ‘Yes, for the most part. The journalist is done with the interview, I think. He wants to take a picture, and we want you to be there.”“Oh, sure,” I said. I patted down my knees, a bit of Cleaning magic taking care of any dirt stuck to me and washing out the grime under my fingertips. “I’m ready!”“Great,” Awen said. “We’re waiting upstairs, in the lounge.”“We’re going to take a picture there?” I asked.“I guess,” Awen said. “Come on?”I nodded and followed after her. It was nice seeing the lobby without any dust in it, the few loose items reorganized, and the room smelling much more fresh than it had before. There was just something very satisfying about a room that was entirely clean.“It looks nice,” Awen said. “Did you do everything?”“No, just the lobby, and a few of the little open spaces around. Mostly I spent my time outside. I didn’t get Reginald’s permission to do all the other little rooms. Though I did blast a bunch of Cleaning magic into the washrooms, so those should be clean too.”“I think he’ll be happy,” Awen said with a nod.I hoped so too! And maybe it would help the guild get a few more members if they saw that it was nice and neat inside and out.We climbed up to the second floor, then moved over to the lounge where I darted ahead of Awen and opened the door for her. “M’lady,” I said.Awen laughed. “That’s awful. But thanks.”Reginald looked like he was in a much better mood, with a big grin on and enough energy pouring off of him that he couldn’t stay still. The journalist, meanwhile, just looked confused. He was staring at his notepad, as if not quite believing what was written there.Amaryllis was seated, all prim and proper, on the biggest lounge chair in the room. One leg carefully crossed over the other and an aura of smugness so strong it was almost physical wafting off of her.“Uh oh,” I said.“It’s not... that bad?” Awen said, likely guessing at some of what I was thinking.I cleared my throat. “Ah, I’m here,” I said.“Oh! Wonderful!” Reginald said. “We just wanted a photo, for the newspaper. I’m certain the article will be that much more impressive with an image to go with it.”“Sure,” I said.The journalist set aside his notebook and started to fiddle with his camera, something that seemed to require a lot of his attention. Meanwhile, Reginald got the three of us to stand closer together. I got to be in the middle, because I was the tallest, with Amaryllis to my right and Awen to my left.“I kind of regret not bringing my captain’s hat,” I said.“It would be a bit ostentatious,” Amaryllis said. “Best to look somewhat humble, as a contrast to the story itself.”“That sounds surprisingly worrying, coming from you,” I said.Amaryllis grinned. “Now now, I said nothing but the truth.”“She didn’t lie,” Awen conceded. “But, ah, I think Amaryllis said the truth in an interesting way?”“That sounds like something she would do,” I said.“I’m literally standing right next to you,” Amaryllis said.I grinned at her. “I know. I can feel you. Your feathers are nice and soft today. Have you been doing something special with them?”She gave me an unamused look. “You’re a moron. Also, no, but the temperature here is more agreeable than I expected. Feathers tend to be somewhat more temperamental than hair or fur, I think. At least when it comes to things like humidity and pressure.”That was interesting. “Neat.”“Ah, yes, could everyone squeeze in a little closer?” the journalist asked. “Mister Reginald, yourself as well.”Reginald stepped to the side so that he was next to Awen. Close, but not so close that he was actually touching her. “Like so?” he asked.The journalist nodded. “That’s great. Is this anyone’s first photograph?”Amaryllis was the only one to nod. She blinked then looked at me. “You’ve been in photos?”“Plenty?” I said.“Oh. Well, I haven’t.”“Just blink a lot after the flash,” I said.“Alright everyone,” the journalist said. “Look into the lens here, that’s right.”“And say cheeeese!” I said as the pan exploded with a bright burst of light.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Four — Hot Springs Episode
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Four — Hot Springs Episode “Now what?” I asked as I stretched my arms way way up.Amaryllis, Awen and I were milling around the exit of the Exploration Guild. The journalist was long gone, and Reginald-after thanking us profusely for our time and for the cleaning-was back at work. I think he was out of whatever slump he’d been in before, or at least he seemed very enthusiastic about fixing the guild up again.“We could walk around,” Awen said. “Ah, explore a little? We haven’t really tried any sylph-food, except what was at the inn.”I nodded. That sounded like a nice way to spend the afternoon.“I have a better idea,” Amaryllis said. “Reginald wasn’t able to tell me everything I wanted to know about the other delegations, but we do know where one of them is now.”“Oh?” I asked.She nodded. “The grenoil delegation is in the Purple District, which I imagine isn’t too surprising, but, notably, they have been visiting a bathhouse next to their embassy every day.”“How did Reginald learn that?” I asked.“I think it’s mostly the city’s rumour mill,” Amaryllis said. “The sylph find it amusing that the grenoil are so ill-suited to the weather here.” She gestured to the sky, which was a particularly drab grey. There was some sunshine, and it wasn’t too cold. Not cold enough to snow, at least.“That’s not too kind of them,” I said.“The grenoil are from a much warmer area of Dirt, it’s normal that they wouldn’t handle the cold here well,” Awen said. She was probably a bit biased there herself. She was wearing as many layers as she could get away with, and had been applying warming spells to herself all morning.“So, we know where to find the delegation then?” I asked.“Oh, finding their actual location isn’t hard,” Amaryllis brushed off. “The trick is finding a way to actually reach them. I don’t think the three of us could walk up to their embassy and ask to speak with the delegate and expect a meeting. But a chance meeting at a bathhouse? That’s far more manageable.”“Alrighty then!” I said. “I’ve never been to one of those before. I also haven’t taken a bath in a while.”“Please keep your strange hygiene issues to yourself,” Amaryllis said.“I’m clean,” I protested, but it fell on deaf ears. “If I didn’t have cleaning magic, I’d take baths all the time, I swear.”It was Amaryllis who took the lead and guided Awen and I back towards the more fancy districts of Goldenalden. We went up a stairwell, then hopped over a few easy rooftop gaps on a meandering path towards part of the city that seemed a little older. The plateau there was more pronounced, with buildings spaced out on a flat rocky surface.Most buildings were distinctly sylph-style, but one of them stood out like a sore thumb. It was made of stone, like the others, but instead of being all angular and brutalist, it was round, with the second floors and up made of carved wooden panels occasionally broken up by circular windows.“That has to be the grenoil embassy,” I said.“Did you read the sign?” Amaryllis snarked.I blinked, and only then noticed the swaying sign next to the building’s lot. It very clearly had the address, and Deepmarsh Embassy, embossed on it. “Oh,” I said.“The bathhouse should be one street down,” Amaryllis muttered.We eventually found it. The bathhouse was rather squat and fairly large. Smoke poured out of a pair of chimneys at the back. Just inside the entrance was made up of a large lobby area, with seats and a big counter before a trio of double doors. One labelled Men, the other Women and the last Other.I stared around as we slid in and Amaryllis moved to the counter. A few coins were paid to a young sylph woman who then accompanied us into the women’s section. The main area was filled with cubicles with little pads next to them. A push of mana into the pad would lock it, and only the same person’s mana would unlock it.“Right, this is where we store all of our equipment,” Amaryllis said. “And if this is anything like the bird baths at home, then there should be showers that you can clean yourself off in before heading to the baths. Usually you wash yourself with cooler water.”“Okay, wait,” I said. “Two things. First, cold water?”“Yes?” Amaryllis said. “It wakes you up properly, and it's good for your feathers.”I nodded slowly. “Second, you call them bird baths?”“Well, that’s what they are, aren’t they?” Amaryllis huffed.I supposed that she was right. We took off all of our stuff and stored it away. The air was a bit chilly, but the floors felt heated. Awen was a bit shy about it at first, but I reassured her that there wasn’t anything to worry about and she seemed to get over it by the time we found the showers.I made sure to lather up my ears nice and good, they were a bit strange, and I wasn’t entirely sure how normal buns keep them clean, so I just did my best and hoped that was enough.Maybe I could find a bun to tell me how to fix my hair up around my ears? They parted my hair in strange ways, and I was worried it looked a little strange. The small fluffy bits just inside the ear were strange too, they weren’t like normal head hair, but were a lot softer and thicker. Also, I now had to make doubly sure to remember to wash behind my ears!I had to ask around and find another bun settlement or group where I could ask some more questions.Once we were all done showering, we followed a dripping wet Amaryllis over to the main bathhouse.We had to climb down a spiral staircase to reach the bathing area. It was a cavern of sorts, though I suspected it wasn’t entirely natural. The middle of the room had a large circular bath, with steaming-hot water within. Smaller baths to the side, all of them recessed into the ground, seemed to be held at different temperatures by magical rune-powered devices.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.“Oh, it’s so warm!” I said. The air was thick with warm humidity that seemed to seep right into my skin and hair.“It’s nice,” Awen agreed.Amaryllis hummed, then gestured to the largest of the pools. “It seems that we’re either too early or too late.” The room was empty save for a pair of sylph ladies, one helping the other clean off her wings with a big soft-looking sponge.“So, if they’re not here, what do we do?”“Enjoy the warm water until they show up, obviously,” Amaryllis said. She walked over to the largest of the pools, her talons click-clicking on the stony ground.I skipped after her, then wobbled my arms around as my feet almost slid out from under me. I giggled as I caught my balance, the sound echoing strangely across the room.Amaryllis lowered herself into the water, and I splashed down next to her, with Awen slipping in carefully, one toe at a time.“This is nice,” I said as I leaned against the side of the pool. It wasn’t all that deep, the water stopping mid-waist unless I leaned way back and let my head rest against one of the smoothed stones along the edge. I was sure they were designed to act as pillows of sorts.“This really is nice, yes,” Awen agreed.Amaryllis raised a wing and sighed. “My pinions are a mess,” she said. “And I’m certain it’ll be a nightmare to find a proper wing groomer.”“I could help,” I said while sitting up with a splash. “What do you need?”Amaryllis huffed a sort of ‘there’s no way’ huff, but then she huffed a smaller ‘well, maybe’ sort of huff. “Preening isn’t as easy as it looks. But if you want to try...” She shifted closer, then spread a wing out before her. “There are many kinds of feathers. These little fluffy ones here are down feathers, their barbules are softer and tend to warp and waver a lot.”I leaned in and stared at the smaller feathers that were at the base of her arms. “Those are like your hair feathers,” I said.“They’re not hair,” she said. “These need to be brushed straight when wet, otherwise they clump up, and when they dry out, they become a mess of tangles.”I nodded. That made sense.Amaryllis reached up to her head and plucked a small feather out with a tug. “These are contour feathers. They’re shorter and fatter, to make you more aerodynamic in flight.” I grabbed the little feather and twitched it this way and that.“Does it hurt to pluck them out?” I asked.“Only a little. It’s a... relieving pain when you take an injured feather out. Like cracking your spine to work out a kink. Now, these are wing feathers.” she ran her talons through the longer feathers in her arms. “These are the easiest to care for. They need to have all their barbs lined up properly. Those are the little arms sticking out of the main shaft of the feather. There are smaller feathers under the wing feathers, for insulating, and you need to make sure they’re not curled up underneath.”I nodded, then gingerly grabbed her arm. It took a bit of focus, but it really wasn't all that hard. She stared at me, one eyebrow raised, as I lifted her wing feathers up and then tugged the feathers under it straighter.“You’re actually not bad at this,” Amaryllis said. She relaxed against the bath’s side. “You could find work as a preener. What with your little human hands.”Awen giggled at that before asking a question, “Don’t you use any tools? For preening, I mean.”“Of course we do, but some puritans only use their talons.”Awen nodded. “I can think of a few ways you might make hooks to grab the smaller feathers underneath. Or small brushes.”“Hmm,” I agreed. I found a broken feather near Amaryllis’ elbow joint. “What do I do with this?” I asked.Amaryllis had to twist her head to see the feather near her elbow. It was no wonder harpies needed help preening if they couldn’t see what they were doing. “Oh, that’s broken. Just tug it out. It’s probably best to pile the broken feathers on the side, we don’t want to make a mess.”I pinched my tongue and tugged the feather out. Amaryllis hissed, but she didn’t flinch. I placed the wet feather to the side and went back to playing with Amaryllis’ feathers. “I wish I had feathers, they’re neat.”“You’ve changed species once already, isn’t that enough for you?” Amaryllis asked. “If you truly want, I’m sure you can become some monstrous multispecies chimera.”“Does that happen?” I asked.“It does, actually. Much like how you evolved into a bun, some people will evolve into multiple other things. Usually that requires three or four classes though, which means, obviously, that those people are ridiculously strong.”“Huh,” I said.Amaryllis tensed, and for a moment I was afraid I’d done something wrong, but a glance at her face and I noticed that she was staring out towards the entrance.I shifted around and noticed a group of people entering the baths. Frog people.There were three of them, squat female grenoil with greenish skin that already glistened wetly with all of the humidity in the room clinging to them. The three moved right over to the big bath we were in and lowered themselves into the hot water with happy croaky sighs.“Is that them?” I asked Amaryllis.“Possibly,” Amaryllis said, “they’re definitely from the embassy, judging by their classes.”I glanced over to the grenoil again. One was a Secretary, of all things, and the other two were a Ribbiting Conversationalist and a Cold-Blooded Politician.It was actually hard to tell which one was the most important one when none of them were wearing anything. Still...“Hi there!” I said with a wave. “Do you come here often?”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Five — Casus Antibelli
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Five — Casus Antibelli “Hello,” the grenoil Cold-Blooded Politician said. She was half a head taller than the other two, which meant that she reached about my nose in height. I imagined she was taking the lead because she was their leader, being a politician and all.Not that I really knew enough about politics to comment.“Hi,” I said. “Come on in, the water’s nice and warm and cozy.”Awen scooted over to the side, even though there was plenty of room for everyone in the warm waters, and after just a moment of hesitating, the three grenoil dipped into the bath. They sighed, obviously quite pleased. “I was not expecting to meet a harpy, a bun, and a human here,” the grenoil lady said.“There aren’t that many grenoil in Goldenalden either,” Amaryllis said. “I’m Amaryllis, Amaryllis Albatross. These are my friends, Awen Bristlecone and Broccoli Bunch.”I waved at the three grenoil, my hand splashing out of the water to do so.“Hello Lady Albatross,” the grenoil lady said. “And Lady Bristlecone and Bunch as well. A pleasure. I’m Sylvie Robespierre, and zese are my companions, Chloe, who is a secretary at ze embassy, and Lucrece; she’s one of my greatest friends in Goldenalden.”“It’s good to have friends when you’re so far from home,” I said. “It makes it less lonely, and you know you have someone to rely on if you need the help.”“It does help,” Sylvie said with an agreeing croak. “I must admit to a certain level of curiosity, it is not often zat we meet so many non-sylph in Goldenalden.”Amaryllis leaned back against the smoothed stones around the edge of the bath. She slid her talons through her feathers, straightening them out where I’d been playing with them. “We’re here for the summit. I presume that it’s the same for you?”Sylvie nodded. “It is. So, zis is a political meeting zen?”“All meetings are political, once you can exert a certain amount of power,” Amaryllis said. “But I don’t think this has to be anything like that. Though, I would love to chat about the summit. I do have an agenda to push, after all.”Sylvie chuckled, a raspy laugh that sent ripples across the water. “Of course. Well, I suppose I can’t blame you for trying. What agenda are you trying to push, exactly?”“We want to avoid war,” Amaryllis said. “And we’re trying to discover those responsible for spurring on the nations gathering here towards a war that no one sensible wants.”“Is zat ze opinion of all ze harpy?” Sylvie asked.Amaryllis shook her head. “No. It wouldn’t have been possible for Rainnewt to create this narrative if the foundations for it weren’t laid out already.”“Rainnewt?” Sylvie asked.I decided to pipe up, to help Amaryllis since she was the only one talking. “He’s this big meanie who’s been trying to trick everyone into attacking each other. He started trouble here in Sylphfree, and in Port Royal and even in the Harpy Mountains. He’s very dangerous. We know that he’s destroyed some dungeons already, and I think that maybe he's trying to cover for that by fermenting war.""Fomenting." Awen corrected. "It's 'fomenting war.'"I blinked. "Really?""Ze little lady has ze right of it," Sylvie said. "But zat is quite ze accusation ... it stretches plausibility to its limit, and perhaps beyond,” Sylvie said. She turned to her friend, Lucrece, who nodded once. Sylvie’s brow rose at the confirmation. Did Lucrece have some sort of social skill?“Is it truly that implausible?” Amaryllis asked. “My family is one of the largest producers of airships on Dirt. We stand to profit handsomely if widespread war breaks out, simply by launching new warships to bolster our navy and replenish any losses." She looked the grenoil square in the eye. "Since I am willing to throw all that away, it should give you some idea of how seriously I consider the threat presented by Rainnewt.""It would certainly indicate you consider zese accusations to have merit," Sylvie agreed. "Perhaps you would be willing to share why you are so convinced?""Of course," Amaryllis nodded. "Our first encounter with him was when he sent me on a cartographic mission that resulted in me nearly being kidnapped, which he tried to pin on the Trenten Flats. Then, at a ball in the Nesting Kingdom, Rainnewt caused an explosion that killed multiple members of a sylph delegation ... Obviously you can see how that might spark a war between our two nations. Lastly, we believe he likely killed multiple dungeons around the Kingdom of Sylphfree, which I suppose is not directly likely to cause a war, but certainly speaks ill of his character."Sylvie sat back in the water and regarded Amy for a long minute.I started to fidget, despite myself. Awen looked a little nervous, herself.“I’m not entirely sure I believe you,” Sylvie said. “Are you really so altruistic zat you’d come all ze way to Goldenalden to stop a war zat would help your family profit?” Sylvie asked.I nodded. “Of course Amaryllis would. Under all the meanness and huffing she has a heart of gold. Besides, it would be wrong not to give it our all to stop something as awful as a war. So many innocent people would be hurt. If we don’t do what we can to help, then we’re in a small way responsible for them being hurt.”Amaryllis huffed most mightily. She really couldn’t take a compliment.“But let’s presume zat I do believe you,” Sylvie continued, “How are you trying to stop zis war from happening?”“Well, we have a two-part plan,” I said while raising my hand out of the water. My poor fingertips were getting all wrinkly. “First, we’ll meet with the grenoil, the cervid, the sylph, and the harpy delegations to ask them nicely not to go to war and to explain that it’s not a very nice thing to do.”Sylvie stared for a moment, then started to giggle. “I zink I see. Do go on.”I only had my index left pointing up. “Well, the last part is to beg really really hard for people not to fight. Maybe we can even find Rainnewt and, like, arrest him or something. A lot of the things he’s done caused big misunderstandings, and he should at the very least apologize for those. He, he also caused people to die, which is... it’s bad.”Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.“I have ze impression zat you have a razer simple worldview.”I laughed. “I prefer to call it optimistic. I’m just a small bun in a very big world, and there’s a lot of scary things out there, things that are really complicated. So I just hope that the world is a nice place, filled with people that are friendly deep down, and who aren’t all that different from me. They just need a friend, someone to listen and help them through the worst days they’ll face, when things are hard. Seeing people actively trying to hurt each other, because of things that aren’t important? That hurts.”“You zink ze war would be over unimportant zings?” Sylvie asked.“Wouldn’t it? Nationalism, patriotism, a huge emphasis on the things that are different from the people around you, instead of the things that are similar. I think they’re all rather dumb things to fight over.”“Zose are what every war has been fought over,” Sylvie said.I shrugged. “Then all those wars were dumb.”Sylvie croaked with suppressed laughter. “Oh, you’re an opinionated young bun, aren’t you? I zink a few of ze lords and ladies zat fought in zose wars and who promoted zem would disagree. Worse, zey might find insult in what you say.”“I’m not sure I can agree with someone who thinks that they should be proud about that kind of thing,” I said.Sylvie eyed us for a moment, then leaned forwards. “Very well. Let’s say zat I enjoy your optimism. It’s certainly better zan ze way a lot of ze sylph around here zink. What exactly is your plan to stop zis war?”“As I said,” Amaryllis began. “We mostly want to meet with all of the representatives from the groups attending the summit and convince them to take a more peaceful route out of this current political mess. It’s in everyone’s best interest, especially seeing as how this war is being spurred on by a third party.”“You know zat convincing some of ze delegations will be complicated. And while ze delegations have some political say from here, not all of zem are all zat powerful. While I can push ze Deepmarsh agenda here, and what I report back may have an impact on ze choices carried out by ze king, zat doesn’t mean zat I could stop the king’s choice if he decides to push for war.”“Maybe not, but your word might carry just enough weight to it that it might be enough to shift the balance,” Amaryllis said. “I know that the harpy are looking to this summit with great interest. If things go poorly here, that would be enough for the warhawks to push towards open conflict. And if things go well and end agreeably, then that will give those who want peace proof that peace can be found if everyone is willing to work on it.”Sylvie leaned back and let her eyes close a little so that her second eyelid could blink across her eyes. “I will ask you to do a favour for me,” she said.“What kind of favour?” I asked.“Nothing too complicated. See, if I merely listen to you because we happened to be in the same bathhouse, then your words will mean little. But if you assist me in some small way, zen I have a reason to report back zat I find you trustworthy.”“Oh,” I said. “That makes sense.”Sylvie nodded. “It’s nothing too complicated, just a delicate matter zat would actually help the embassy anyway, which is part of what you want, isn’t it?”“Awa, that sounds a bit, ah, openly manipulative,” Awen said. She’d been mostly quiet the entire time we were in the bath.“Better openly zan hidden,” Sylvie said. “Besides, it is a simple thing. A shipment destined for ze embassy arrived at ze port two days ago, but it never made it to ze embassy. We’re only a hop away, and ze cargo was labelled as politically sensitive, so it’s strange zat it has not made it to our doorstep yet.”“That is a little weird,” I agreed. “You just want us to fetch it?”“Or find out what happened to it, if it’s truly lost. Chloe, would you mind fetching a copy of the details?”The Secretary bobbed her head up and down and climbed out of the bath with a splash. I felt a little bad for her, having to leave the nice warm water so soon after arriving. Then again, we had been talking for a good long while. My fingers and toes were both going to be extra wrinkly.“I’m sure we can manage that,” I said with a glance to my friends to make sure they were okay with the idea too.Awen and Amaryllis both nodded.“Helping a new friend is perfectly fine,” I said.“As long as said new friend needs the help and isn’t just using your innocence against you,” Amaryllis added. She didn’t need to. Someone that did something like that clearly wasn’t a friend to begin with, though they might just be someone that did need help.“I’m glad you’re willing to assist us,” Sylvie said. “Chloe will leave ze papers with ze sylph by ze exit. Paperwork shouldn’t be brought into a bathhouse.”“When we’ve retrieved your cargo, where do you want us to bring it?” Amaryllis asked. “And how can we know that you’ll actually help us?”“You know because our goals align,” Sylvie said. "Deepmarsh doesn’t want a war any more zan you do. We’ve defeated ze cervid once before, but it was a near zing. Zeir own stupidity cost zem more zan our attempts to slow zem down did. If another war were to start with ze cervid, zen none of ze lords and ladies of Deepmarsh expect us to be able to win it, not if ze war goes on for long enough, and not if ze cervid have an ounce of wisdom between ze lot of zem.”It sounded like they were more concerned because of their own safety than anything else, which... was fair, I supposed. “Okay,” I said. As selfish as their reasoning was, it wasn’t something I could blame them for feeling. Heck, it was quite the opposite. “I trust you.”Sylvie’s brow rose. “For a group so steeped in ze darker side of politics, you truly are optimistic. I hope zat your optimism will be rewarded.”“I hope so too,” I said. I sighed as I stood up, warm water dripping off of me. “I guess we should get going.”Awen and Amaryllis rose too, and then we said our goodbyes to Sylvie and her friend before leaving the bathhouse. It was hard, mostly because the air just outside of it was so much chillier.It was time to do some side quests!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Six — Have You Tried Asking?
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Six — Have You Tried Asking? “So, how are we going to do this?” I asked.“That depends,” Amaryllis said. Her head feathers were still dripping a little, even though she’d just patted her head down with a towel a moment ago. I wasn’t so dry myself-I strapped my breastplate on and it felt a bit humid. Cleaning magic wasn’t drying magic, that was a whole other thing.“Depends on what?” I asked.Amaryllis closed her locket and turned towards me. “It depends on how seriously we want to take this little side-mission of Sylvie’s.”“Well,” I said as I tilted my head to the side and cleaned out my (human) ear with my pinkie. “I think she wasn’t lying about the cargo thing. It doesn’t sound all that complicated. Go to the port, ask around, discover why the cargo’s missing, then ask the people there to send it back to the grenoil.”“I don’t think it will be that simple,” Amaryllis warned.“Ah, it could be many things,” Awen said. She seemed to be feeling a little bit better now that she was all dressed up and ready to go. The bathhouse might have strained her social skills a little; she was a bit of an introvert. “But, ah, we won’t know what those things are until we go and look.”I bobbed my head up and down. “Awen has a good point, we’ll never find out if we don’t go and check things out on our own.”Amaryllis shrugged, “Then we go and find out. I feel like we’re moving without much knowledge on our side though. This doesn’t tell us much.” She waved the stack of papers that the secretary had given us. There were maybe four pages in all, most of them copies of forms and contracts that used a lot of words to say very little. They did have the cargo’s information though, dock numbers, manifests, and the supposed port of arrival.“It’s a start,” I said. “Come on, it’s still early in the day. Maybe once we’re done we can do a little bit of sight-seeing? We keep getting sidetracked from playing tourist.”“It’s hardly a priority to go around and gawk,” Amaryllis said. “Besides, once you’ve seen one sylph building, you’ve seen them all. A box is a box.”I held back a giggle, because while it was funny-and not entirely wrong, the sylph did like their straight angles-it wasn’t terribly nice to mock an entire nation’s architectural style like that. I was sure they had good reasons to build everything in such a square way.We exited the bathhouse, and after a bit of chatting to figure out which way was which, headed out towards the outer edge of Goldenalden.The port that the cargo was supposed to be at wasn’t the same one we had arrived at. There were a few ports around the edge of the city, and we were heading to one that was further in, past the red district to the south.The further we travelled, the more the city changed, especially as we moved past the first set of walls and into the next district. The buildings of Goldenalden were clearly all kept at a decent level of repair, but as we left the center of the city, there were still signs that maybe there wasn’t as much maintenance going on.There were also fewer and fewer non-sylph the further from the purple district we moved. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable from all the strange looks we were getting from the sylph we crossed.It had to be worse for Amaryllis. While I got curious glances, she got outright glares and hostile glances. Some sylph kids would point to her and then run off screaming when we approached.It wasn’t very nice to see, really. They didn’t know Amaryllis except that she was a harpy and they were being kind of rude. Then again, Amaryllis could be a bit rude right back, which probably wouldn’t help things if they did actually try to talk to her.We arrived on the edge of the port soon enough, a part of the city that was quite busy. Carts moved by, tugged along by big draft horses or smaller donkeys or even strange goats of all things.Because of the way that Goldenalden was placed right on the side of a mountain, it meant that large sections of the city were much lower than the parts above. The airship port used that to its full advantage, with the shear wall used as free space from which they could build big docks where ships were parked.A few larger, boxier vessels were moving into the port even as we approached, one of them being guided in by a tugboat.“That looks like the right spot,” Amaryllis said. She gestured to a lighthouse sticking out of the side of the port, with a domed roof that had some complex assembly of mirrors and reflectors on gantries being worked by a pair of sylph. A sort of longer-range signalling device, I guessed. The bottom half of the tower looked more like an office building, with brick walls and windows all over looking into older-style offices.“It says Port Authority on the side,” Awen said.“Good enough for me,” I said.We crossed a busy road-after looking both ways, of course-then moved across the equally busy yard to the port authority. There were a couple of dozen large warehouses not too far away, many of them with their doors open and cargo flowing in and out nearly constantly. I imagined that maybe the things we were looking for were in one of those.We stepped into the port authority. The lobby was a tight little spot, with a counter at the end blocking off the rest of the room from the entrance. Sylph in officewear were moving about, shuffling papers over and generally looking quite busy.“Broccoli, you might want to do the talking here,” Amaryllis said.“Are you sure?” I asked.“I am,” Amaryllis said. “I have the impression that the sylph here aren’t the well-bred and polite sort that we’ve been dealing with so far.”The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.“Oh,” I said. That was disheartening to hear. Then again, it was just a hunch on Amaryllis’ part, maybe things weren’t nearly so bad.I walked up to the counter at the front. Unfortunately, it wasn’t occupied. That was, until I flagged down a passing office worker with a wave. “Hello?” he asked.“Hi,” I said. I decided that maybe things would be better if the office worker thought I was someone a little more important than just plain-old Broccoli Bunch. People in general tended to be a little more responsive and respectful to people they thought were in charge of things. It wasn’t great, but that’s how a lot of people acted. “I’m Captain Bunch, of the Beaver Cleaver, and I’m here because I’m looking for some cargo that I think was misplaced.”“Huh,” the office sylph said. “You’ll want to take that up with Isaac. Second floor, near the back.”“Thanks,” I said.He darted off, continuing on with whatever work was on his plate. I glanced to my friends, got a few shrugs in response, then moved around the counter and towards a stairwell at the back. We didn’t make it far before a sylph lady with a mean looking scowl intercepted us. “Where are you going?” she asked.“Uh, to the second floor?” I said. I probably didn’t sound all that certain, which was fair seeing as I wasn’t. “To see a Mister Isaac about some missing cargo.”“Do you have an appointment?” she asked.“Do we need one?”“Obviously,” she snapped.“Cool! Can I get an appointment then?” I asked. I tried to smile to make sure she didn’t feel slighted.I don’t think it worked. “Your sort are always barging in where you don’t belong,” she muttered. “You can get an appointment by mail. Do you know how to write?”I worked my jaw. That hadn’t been nice at all. “I think I’ll just take my chances and go check to see if he’s busy or not. It'll be faster that way.”“I’ll call security,” she said.I blinked at her. “I thought you might be trying to help us at first, but you’re really not. Don’t you have better things to do?”That was apparently not the right thing to say, because the sylph lady became extra snippy and stomped off. “I will be getting security,” she snapped as a parting shot.“Awa, we should probably go upstairs faster,” Awen said.“Good idea,” I said. “I could probably have handled that better.”“I was about to use some magic to tie her beak shut and puppet her into a closet,” Amaryllis said.I considered it for a moment. “That would be a lot ruder than what I said, I think. Also, probably illegal.”“Yes, but it would have taught her an important lesson about the value of being polite to strangers. Did you see her level? She had no business being so rude to three people who outmatch her so completely.”“Amaryllis, you know that judging people just based on their strength isn’t nice.”“It’s not about being nice, it’s about having common sense,” Amaryllis said.The second floor was the same as the first, a big open-floor office broken up by pillars here and there. There were lots of filing cabinets and entire rooms to the side filled with properly organized stacks of paper.I stopped a younger sylph who was walking by and asked him to point us towards Isaac’s office. That turned out to be an office way out on the other end of the floor. It had a door, but it was held open, probably because of all the sylph slipping in and out of the room.A bigger sylph was plopped behind a huge desk, imperiously looking over pages and pages of notes and manifests that others placed before him. He’d sign them, sometimes make a note, and occasionally he’d bark something to the sylph who’d given him the page before they ran off again.“Maybe you two should wait out here,” I said. It looked a little cramped in there.“Sure,” Amaryllis said. “We’ll keep an eye out. Scream if you need some help.”I nodded and slid into the room. At a guess, mister Isaac was the sylph in charge. The pages he was taking were cargo manifests. He seemed to be the equivalent of a living computer, though I’d never seen a computer dress someone down for making a mistake before.When it was my turn I stepped up to his desk, placed the papers with the information for our cargo down before him, then smiled as best I could. “We’re looking for this,” I said.He stared at the page, then brought his head up. “Who in the world are you?” he snapped.“Captain Bunch,” I said. “I’m here on behalf of the grenoil embassy. Their cargo seems to have been misplaced so I’m, ah, investigating.”“Are you even allowed to be here?”“Would I be here if I wasn’t allowed to be?” I asked. The answer was yes, yes I would be there if I wasn’t allowed to be because that was probably the case.He stabbed a finger on the page. “Warehouse seventy-four. If it’s not there, the Mitchhum family probably stole it, that’s their area.” He shoved the paper forwards. “Now go, some people are working here.”“Thanks!” I said as I took the pages back. Warehouse seventy-four, that seemed easy enough to find.“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said as she barged in.“More weirdos,” Mister Isaac muttered.“We have company, the security kind,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, shoot.” I looked around the office. There was a window at the back. A glance down revealed that it was a two floor drop to the ground below. I’d fallen from way higher. “Awen, come in my arms, Amaryllis, can you glide down?”“Sure,” she said.Isaac protested as we opened his window. I was apologizing the entire time.Awen clung onto me as we hopped out of the window and made our escape. Now we just had to find the cargo. Easy-peasy!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Haystack
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Haystack “This is neither easy nor peasy,” I complained.The area with warehouses was way, way worse than I had imagined. I thought it would be a few rows of warehouses, with the interiors filled with all the cargo passing through the port. But I was wrong.Instead, there were several rows of warehouses, with warehouses above them, and then some warehouses below them too. The sylph had a whole system of elevators, cranes, and scaffolds so that they could use the limited space they had to maximum effect.That meant that everything was a whole complex array of passages, ramps, and lifts, with carts being pushed around all over by sylph who weren’t usually in a good mood when we happened to step into their way.The warehouses had nice big numbers next to their doors, which was helpful.Less helpful was the way the warehouses started at forty-two, went to sixty-seven, then had single digits beyond that for a bit. Some even had letters at the end, for some inexplicable reason.“And the sylph claim to be sophisticated,” Amaryllis muttered.“Maybe there’s some sort of logic to the system that we, ah, just don’t get?” I tried.“I think the warehouses were numbered as they were built,” Awen said. She pointed across the street and down. The road, which was really more of a grated catwalk, ended at a set of rails, and we could see down a couple of floors across. “The bottom floors are all lower numbers, and they tend to go up.”She was right, the warehouse across from us went from thirteen, to fourteen, to sixteen, to twenty-one.“So they’re always rising in number, but they don’t have odd or even sorting, and the numbers sometimes skip a few,” I said.That had nothing on the warehouses who had multiple numbers next to their doors, for some unfathomable reason.“Alright, enough of this.” I walked away from my friends for a moment and flagged down a passing sylph. He had a hardhat on, and a sort of yellowish tabard over plain clothes. “Excuse me, sir. Could you point us towards warehouse number seventy-four please?”“Huh?” he asked. Then he pointed towards the far end of the street. “That way, left, then right at warehouse one-one-one.”“Thanks!” I called after him. That had been easier than I expected. “Come on!”We navigated around the maze of warehouses, and I realized that I didn’t ask which level warehouse seventy-four was on. That was a bit of a mistake, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it, not unless I flagged someone else down, and I really didn’t want to interrupt another worker. None of the sylph on the roads were idling either, it was impressive. Or maybe they just had their own little corners for relaxing?We had to go down a level when we came upon a block in the road, then back up around the next intersection.Warehouse one-one-one was easy enough to find, the three numbers being painted all up the side of the building.“There it is!” Awen said as she pointed ahead and down.We were a floor above the closed doors of warehouse seventy-four, which meant we had to backtrack to the nearest elevator, then go down a floor and back to where we’d been.In the end, the three of us stood in front of a pair of wide doors, hanging in place on a set of coasters. There was a smaller door next to the main entrance, so I walked over to it and knocked.Nothing happened.“Well, this isn’t great,” I said. “Maybe we can come back tomorrow? We know more or less where it is, now.”“And lose another half-day?” Amaryllis asked. “I bet I can blow that smaller door right off its hinges.”“That would be a crime,” I said.“And noisy,” Awen said.I nodded along with her.“I could pick the lock, I think,” she went on.I stopped nodding. “Awen!”Awen shrugged. “I don’t want to have to come back either.”“You two are giving into the idea that crime solves problems way too easily.”“If we’re not going to break in, then we can at least check things out inside, right?” Amaryllis said.“I... guess, but it’s locked up,” I said.“Just here. Look at the side, they have vents,” Amaryllis said.I moved to the side a little, and in the space between the two warehouses, where a lot of junk was collecting at the bottom, was a small sort of alleyway. The warehouses did have vents on their sides. “That would still be breaking in,” I said.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Fine. The warehouse above isn’t locked up, we’ll see if there’s a staircase or something.”I nodded. That would be better. That way we could at least say that we were just looking for the grenoil cargo, without breaking and entering. Just... entering. I was pretty sure that wasn’t as bad of a thing to do. It wasn’t like anyone lived in the warehouse.So, we went all the way back to the elevator, then back up a floor, and then back to warehouse number seventy-seven, which was just above our target.Amaryllis grabbed my arm and had us wait as a group of sylph left the warehouse with a couple of empty carts.“Are you stopping me from walking into a busy warehouse because you don’t want to raise suspicions?” I asked.“Yes,” Amaryllis said. “That’s exactly right.”“That doesn’t sound all that nice of you, Amaryllis. If we were allowed to be there we wouldn’t need to be sneaky about it.”“Oh no, please don’t act sneaky. There’s nothing worse than looking suspicious to attract undue attention. Just walk as if you’re allowed to be there.”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“Implying that we’re not,” I said.Amaryllis patted my head with her talons. “Just follow along and don’t ask any difficult questions.”I pouted as I followed Amaryllis into the warehouse. She really was walking as if she owned the place. Awen didn’t quite have that level of birdy swagger, but she did make an effort not to hunch her back as she walked, and was looking around with open curiosity as we stepped into a wide room, filled with rows of shelves where boxes and crates were resting.“They use tags,” Awen said.I followed her gaze and noticed a long tag stapled to the side of one of the crates. The paper was yellowish and looked pretty cheap, and the stamps on it were a bit faded, but they were still legible.“Maybe the tags on the grenoil boxes fell off?” I asked. “It might explain why they got lost.”“Maybe,” Amaryllis said. “But I’m loath to attribute to stupidity what could be attributed to maliciousness.”“Doesn’t that expression usually go the other way around?”Amaryllis didn’t reply. We moved past the entrance, and immediately turned right and away from the brightly lit entrance. The warehouse wasn’t all that wide, really. It was more tall and deep, with three main rows of shelves and a lot of boxes stacked up on the ground between them.Amaryllis snapped her talons and summoned a small ball of swirling mana that she used to light the path ahead. Awen did the same next to me.I focused, nose scrunching up hard, and managed to make a small light of my own. It wasn’t all that bright, but combined with my friend’s light it was more than enough to see the stacks as we moved into them.The floor was wooden planks, and a glance at the ceiling above revealed that they’d used entire tree trunks as joists. I figured the warehouses probably got pretty heavy when they were full, so they had to build in consequence of that.“Here,” Amaryllis said. She gestured ahead to a part of the floor at the very very back where there was a hatch.“It looks a little dusty,” Awen said as we came closer. She knelt down and grabbed a ring from off the ground before tugging it up. The hatch shifted, barely, then refused to budge. “Heavy.”“Maybe if the three of us worked on it?” I asked. Awen let go and backed up while Amaryllis and I both grabbed the ring and pulled.“Pull harder,” Amaryllis grunted.I let go of my magical light and grabbed the ring in both hands.I pushed stamina into my legs and lower back, then really gave it my all. Amaryllis groaned next to me, and together we got the hatch to lift, little by little, until it was nearly ten centimetres open.Then my hands slipped and the whole thing crashed down with a whump.Amaryllis coughed, and I pushed some Cleaning magic out to clear the dust we’d kicked up. “You know, Awen, maybe if all three of us lifted,” Amaryllis said.Awen stepped up between us, a large metal clasp in hand, and hooked it to the hatch’s loop. There was a chain on the clasp that ran up to the ceiling. I followed it up with my gaze to a pulley block above, then back down to a large locking wheel on the far wall.Awen began cranking the wheel with one hand, and the hatch started to rise.“Or you could do that, that is also helpful,” Amaryllis said, a bit sheepishly.I glanced down the hole leading to the floor below. The hatch was obviously large enough to let some cargo pass down, probably using the pulley system that Awen had found. That meant that there wasn’t a ladder or anything to get down by. The sylph workers probably just flew up if they needed to.The bottom was only four meters or so down, so I sat on the edge of the hole, then scooted forwards. “I’ll check for a ladder,” I said before dropping.I landed with a heavy thump on the wooden floor below, then created a small light to see by. More shelves, with more crates, though a lot less than we’d found on the floor above.There was also a distinct lack of ladders with which to help Awen and Amaryllis down.A chain rattled from above and came to a stop at about head-height. I looked up, hand raising to illuminate the ceiling, and Awen’s legs as she crawled backwards down the hatch.Amaryllis leapt down next to her, wings spread to catch the air and magic roiling below her to create a sort of cushion just before she landed talon-first next to me.Awen hopped down and sighed. “That was harder than I thought,” she said.“Sorry, I should have carried you down.”She shook her head. “It’s okay. I like figuring out my own solution now. It... it’s good.”I laughed. “Okay then. But if you ever do need help, then you know you can ask, right?”She nodded, very seriously.As long as she knew that. I grabbed the manifest and hovered my light above it so that I could actually read it. “Ah, more numbers and letters,” I said.Amaryllis moved closer and peeked over my shoulder to read the list too. “Great, we’ll have to walk all over to find that. If it’s even actually here.”“If what is in here? Trespassers? Because there are plenty of those.”All three of us jumped, and I flashed my light towards the corner.A rather scruffy pair of sylph were standing there, looking mighty displeased about our presence.“Who are you?” Amaryllis asked.“We could ask the same!” the sylph said.Then the door at the very far end of the warehouse slid open so fast it banged against the wall. “This is warehouse security! Come out with your hands raised!” someone screamed from just outside.“Oh no,” said the sylphs partially obscured in the shadows.“Oh no,” I agreed.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Disorder in the Port
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Disorder in the Port I glanced back and forth between the entrance and the sylph who had decided to confront us. The entrance had security, who I imagined would probably not be super pleased that we’d maybe done a bit of trespassing.The other sylph though, they were about as suspicious as people hiding in the shadows to ambush a group of girls could be.In the end, it was Amaryllis that made the choice. She swiped a talon though the ball of light I was still holding onto, then she grabbed me and Awen by the scruff and tugged us back and deeper into the warehouse.“Come on,” she said. “We’re getting out of here.”“Right right,” I said as I turned around so that I wasn’t running backwards.There was just enough light from the entrance that I wasn’t totally blind as I followed after Amaryllis.The two sylph that had appeared were running back and to the end of one row of crates. They pulled one aside, revealing a hole in the wall partially covered by a piece of tarp to keep the light from the other side out.They slipped through a moment before we arrived. Amaryllis dove in. Awen turned around and swung her arm out in a wide semi-circle behind us. Glass glinted in the partial light as a dozen little caltrops made of magical glass clattered to the floor.That was a neat, if very mean, trick.“Go go,” I said as I pushed Awen towards the hole. She nodded and squeezed through.Then it was my turn. My upper body fit in fine, but then things got a little tricky when I was hip-deep in the hole. I grunted while pushing at the edges of the hole, tail squeezing down to try and pass.I fell through with a plop, and got a quick notification for my efforts.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Proportion Distortion skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a Free Rank!Well, that was one use for that, I thought as I rolled to my feet. We were in one of those thin alleyways behind the warehouses, old boxes against the walls and trash heaped up and rotting on the ground.“There!” Amaryllis said while pointing down the alley. The two sylph were flying off in the distance, the taller buildings around us and the multitude of rails and poles above stopping them from gaining too much height.We took off after the pair. I don’t know why, exactly. If our goal was to get away, then it made a heap more sense to not run after them and go the other way instead, then the guard would have to pick between us and them.We spun around a corner, then darted across to the front of the warehouse. The two sylph gained some altitude and moved up a floor before flying through the alley between two warehouses across the street.There was a carriage in the middle of the road, white, with the words Dock Security written on its side in blocky letters.“Faster!” I said before I scooped up Awen mid-run. I saw some security guards spin around by the entrance as we shot by.I jumped and landed on the floor above, Amaryllis followed me a moment later after she jumped onto the carriage, then used that to boost herself up to the second level catwalk. I made sure she wasn’t far behind as I continued after the two sylph.“I think they’re thieves,” Awen said.“Huh?” I asked.“Those two! They’re thieves!” Awen reached out ahead of us, and a ball of magic shot out from her open palm. It rocketed past the sylph, who both ducked and started shouting some rather rude things about us.“What was that spell?” I asked.“Sparball,” Awen said. The one spell that wouldn’t hurt anyone, even if it landed a direct hit. So it was a distraction.The sylph landed at the end of the alley and then turned left at the next intersection.Amaryllis caught up just as I started to turn that way too. “The guards are after us,” she gasped out.“Oh no.”“Faster!” she called out.I could hear the disorganised and confused call of guards trailing after us. The sylph took a right, ran past a road just outside of the warehouse district, then into another alley where I saw them take another right.I kept after them.“There!” Awen called out. She pointed to a small shack set up against the side of a rocky cliff. It wasn’t all that big, just a place where someone could store a few shovels and such, maybe.The sylph disappeared through a window and then closed it behind them.I slid to a stop in front of the window, then tried to open it. It wasn’t a glass window, but a set of steel shutters, and it was completely refusing to budge even as I grunted and gave it my all.“Back up,” Amaryllis said.I stepped back, especially when I saw electrical sparks racing across her feathers and hair.A loud crack-boom later and the window was blown off into the shack. “Amaryllis! You could hurt someone with that!”“We don’t have time!” Amaryllis said. She jumped forwards, into and through the window just before Awen vaulted in too.I glanced back down the alley. The guards weren’t in sight, but I could hear them, and they were getting closer. So with a few last seconds of hesitation, I hopped through the window and into the poorly lit shack. Tools lay on the ground, along with bundles of tarp and broken shelves. There was a noticeable lack of sylph maybe-thieves too.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.“Um,” I said.“They can’t just have disappeared,” Amaryllis said. “Quick, check the walls.”The shack’s outer walls were all made of tin over a frame of wooden beams, there wasn’t much to find there. But one wall, on the inside, was partially made of stone, the same rocky cliffside that the shack was pressed up against.There was only one part that wasn’t just rock, a part of the wall covered by a shelf that, when Awen tugged back, swivelled out to reveal a square-cut tunnel cut right into the stone.“Huh,” I said."A smuggler's tunnel?" Amaryllis guessed."Doesn't matter," Awen said, shoving my birdy friend into the dark. "Go, go, go!""I'm going, I'm going!" Amaryllis squawked. "Broc, hurry up!"I could hear the guard's feet hammering the alleyway, but threw another glance down the tunnel. No telling what was down there, and I didn't want to be caught flat-footed again."Broc!" Amaryllis shouted."One sec; I need a weapon!" I called back as my eyes skipped over a scythe, some trowels, a few rakes, a hoe, wickedly-sharp gardening spears atop a tin bucket-I grabbed the bucket and lunged into the cave after my friends, dragging the door shut behind me. Instantly we were plunged into darkness, so I summoned a light ball in my free hand, and pushed some magic into the bucket itself until it glowed ever so slightly. The tunnel cut into the cliffside for a dozen or so metres before opening up into a bigger, wider tunnel. That meant that I only had to crouch for a bit, after which I could almost stand to my full height-my ears were squished down by the low ceiling.“A mine tunnel?” Amaryllis guessed as she followed after me.The tunnel continued to our left, but only for a little bit before ending at a rough wall. It went on to the right for quite a ways, at least as far as I could tell. There were rails on the ground, and I could imagine a cart using them to ferry stuff back and forth.“Do you think tunnels like these are common under Goldenalden?” I asked.“Maybe,” Amaryllis said. “The city is said to have survived a few dragon attacks back in the day. Being partially underground might explain some of that.”“And now that it’s abandoned, it’s become a super cool underground thieves' hideout,” I said.“I don’t know if I would use some of those words to describe a grungy, poorly lit tunnel, but yes, essentially correct,” Amaryllis said.Awen looked up and down the walls, especially at the large wooden beams set every couple of metres. “I wonder if they build things above knowing that there are tunnels down here. It could be dangerous.”“Let’s not look too deeply into it,” Amaryllis said. “Knowing the sylph, they’d accuse us of plotting to make their city fall apart.”“I’m sure they have inspections sometimes,” I said.We started following the rails. The lack of dust atop them, and the bare, scratched metal on their surface, hinted that they had been in use recently. Likely by the sylph we were still chasing. It made sense, if their neat hideout had a system to carry stuff already in it, why not use it?The tunnel curved, and we started down the intersection when I heard something thump behind us. I started to turn, when two sylph stepped out of the shadows before us. A third was blocking the way back, long shiny knife in hand.“Who are you?” One of those in the lead asked.“Hello!” I said with as much good cheer as I could manage, to put them at ease, of course. “My name’s Captain Broccoli Bunch, and these are my friends. We were, ah, well, this is a bit awkward.”“What’s a bun doing here? With one of those chickens and a human girl of all things?” the sylph asked.“That’s the thing, I’m not entirely sure. See, we were looking for some cargo in that place when two of you showed up, then the guards showed up and you ran, so we ran after you. I’m starting to think we might have made a mistake.”“Yeah,” the other sylph said. “Your mistake was messing with the Mitchhum gang.”I blinked. “Oh! You’re the Mitchhum family?”“Who’s asking?” he snapped.“I just introduced myself, but I don’t mind doing it again,” I said.“You mocking me?” he asked, his knife waving in the air before him. I inspected him real quick. It wasn’t entirely polite to use Insight on someone without permission, but he was waving a knife in my general direction.Gutter Thief, level 10The other two weren’t much stronger than that. With our second classes, my friends and I had half a dozen levels more than them. “I’m not mocking you, mister.”Amaryllis sniffed. “Perhaps you could consider helping us, instead of being quite so hostile.”“And why would we help foreign scum like you, huh?” the first sylph to speak up said.“Because the three of us are seasoned adventurers used to raiding dungeons far more dangerous than some old abandoned mine with a few scruffy thieves,” Amaryllis said. There was a smell to the air, of ozone and danger, and it was very clearly radiating from my harpy friend. “Because it would be much better for you to work with us, than against us, and because I have a notoriously short fuse and don’t appreciate being called a chicken.”The thieves swallowed.I grinned, even bigger and friendlier. “Come on, I’m sure working with us wouldn’t be all that bad! We’re nice people, I swear!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Ganging Up
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Ganging Up “So, are we going to relax, just talk things out?” I asked. I really hoped that they’d agree.The sylph glanced at each other. They shuffled their feet, and I felt a tingle in my ears that felt like bad news.Mitchie, who seemed to be the one in charge, more or less, pointed towards Amaryllis. “Her first,” he said.“Me first what?” Amaryllis asked.The nearest sylph’s reply was to pick up a long piece of wood from the ground and run towards us while screaming.“Are you all daft?” Amaryllis snapped. She flung a hand towards the sylph rushing her and a crack-bang filled the mine as a bolt of lightning gripped the sylph mid-motion and sent him convulsing to the ground.“Don’t kill them!” I said even as I sent more mana into my bucket and moved up between my friends and the remaining thieves. One of them threw a knife our way, but it wasn’t the best or fastest toss. I smacked it out of the air with a swipe of my bucket.“I won’t kill them,” Amaryllis said. “Just make them reconsider some of the mistakes they’ve made.”“Get her!” Mitchie shouted, and the sylph next to him took off running after me. Meanwhile, Mitchie himself spun around and ran in the opposite direction.So much for honour among thieves.The sylph charging me screamed.I threw my bucket. It hit him in the face bottom-first with a heavy bonk before bouncing back into my arms. I grabbed it by the lip, and when the sylph came closer, stumbling and holding onto his nose, I brought the bucket down atop his head with a heavy metallic clang.“Oh, sorry,” I said as he crumbled to the floor.Awen sighed and stepped around me before kneeling on the sylph's back. She had a rope-somehow-that she tied around one of the sylph’s wrists, then she looped it around an ankle and finally his other hand. “We don’t want them getting away,” she explained at my confused look.“I’m more surprised you know how to hogtie people,” I said.“Hog tie?” She glanced down at her knots. “I’m just tying them so that they can’t move.”“Girls, let’s focus a little, shall we?” Amaryllis asked. “We should catch up to that moron that took off.”“Yeah, someone abandoning their friends like that, it’s just wrong,” I said.“M-Mitchie would never abandon us!” the sylph on the ground said. “You’ll regret this!”I squatted down next to him. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know what we’re going to find deeper in that passage, right?”He squirmed around so that he was looking the other way. “I’m not telling you nothing.”“That’s a double negative,” I pointed out. “It means that you will tell us something.”The sylph squirmed the other way to look up to me. He seemed pretty confused. “What are you talking about?” he asked.“Oh, nevermind.” I bounced back to my feet, swept up my bucket, then pointed deeper into the tunnel. “Come on, let’s go see what’s down there.”We left the two sylph-the one Amaryllis zapped was waking up, though he was a little groggy-and started down the tunnel. It wasn’t hard to follow the rails running down the centre of the passage.The rails curved into a large room, and ended in a pile of sandbags, the cart sitting there all nice and quiet. Next to that was a wide entranceway, framed by wooden beams. I crept along the wall and the leaned over to peer into the room, folding my ears back to keep them out of sight. Inside was a weird mirror of the inside of the warehouses we were just in a few minutes ago.Shelves lined the walls, but the middle of the room had couches and chairs, a firepit in the middle was surrounded by a few sylphs, Mitchie among them. Stacks of pallet wood and broken crates nearby hinted at what they used to feed the fire.A few tents were pitched at the far end of the room, and there was an improvised kitchen to the side as well. Clearly, this camp had been lived-in for a while.Amaryllis tugged my sleeve and I slunk after her until we were behind the cart. Awen only had the top of her head poking over the metal rim.“I counted seven,” Amaryllis whispered. “Two of them have gotten past their first evolution.”“What’s the plan?” I asked. We weren’t exactly great at stealth, so I figured we didn’t have a lot of time to come up with something.“I’m all for walking in there, spells flying,” Amaryllis said. “They have knives and clubs, and only two of them are on our level. We can take them.”“That sounds dangerous.”“We’ve fought worse,” Amaryllis said.“I meant for them,” I said.She sniffed. “They’re thieves.”“Ah, thieves don’t usually get treated very well where I’m from,” Awen said. “We’re just here for the grenoil’s stuff, right? Maybe Broccoli can negotiate and convince them to give us all of that, then we leave?”"After we smash them, we can negotiate from a position of strength," Amaryllis pointed out.I felt my nose scrunching up as I considered it. On the one hand, taking things that weren’t yours was wrong. Thieves should at the very least be punished. On the other hand, I didn’t want to see anyone get hurt. Then again... “I’d rather not fight if we can avoid it,” I said.“Fair enough,” Amaryllis said. “But if that’s the case, then you’d better be ready to be extra persuasive this afternoon. I don’t think they’ll be keen on just giving us what we want.”“They might be,” I said. “It’s not like it belongs to them in the first place.”"They currently possess it, so I think they will argue that it does belong to them, by default," Amaryllis said.I shrugged, then stood up and walked around the cart. I didn’t want to spook anyone, so I didn’t make any effort to be quiet as I walked to the entrance of the hideout. “Hello there!” I called. “My name’s Broccoli, and I’m here to, ah, make you an offer you shouldn’t refuse.”Mitchie spun around and pointed right at me. “That’s one of them!”This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.“Hello,” I said again. This time I added a happy little wave with the hand not holding onto a bucket. Was there blood on the bottom of my bucket? That was nasty. I made sure to clean it off before anyone could notice.There was a sylph in the group that seemed different to the others. While most of the sylph in the hideout wore simple clothes, often on the dirtier, threadbare side, he had full leather armour, darkened and covered in little pouches and pockets. He looked like a proper rogue. His hair was peppered with grey, and he seemed a lot more dangerous than the others.“Who are you?” he asked.“I-I just said, my name’s Broccoli.” Maybe he was going hard of hearing in his old age? “Look, mister, my friends and I are looking for something, and we think you might have it. We were wondering if maybe you could let us take that thing back?”“Oh?” the older sylph asked. He stalked forwards, the other sylph parting to let him through. He only paused next to Mitchie to pat him on the shoulder. “You think you can steal from the Mitchhum family?”“Of course not, stealing is wrong,” I said.He looked baffled. “What?”“I’m sorry, but it’s true. Taking things that aren’t yours isn’t nice. It makes people very upset. Ah, I’m sorry, but I didn’t ask you what your name was?”“I’m Marvin, Marvin Mitchhum,” he said. He stood tall and proud before me, which meant he came up to about my chin. “I’m the patriarch of the Mitchhum family, a family on whose ground you’re standing now.”“Oh, really? Gosh, we kind of broke into your house, didn’t we? I’m sorry.”Mister Marvin stepped a few paces ahead of me and squinted at me, then at my friends standing behind me. “Who are you? No, not your name, you’ve said that twice already. I mean who are you. Weird foreigners don’t just follow my boys down mine shafts for fun.”“We’re just some explorers,” I said. “We come from here and there, and now we’re in Goldenalden trying to stop a war. To do that, we need the contents of a crate that you might, maybe, have taken without permission. So if you could give it to us, that would be awfully nice of you.”“We don’t just give people anything,” he said.“Come now,” Amaryllis said sweetly. “You’re thieves, you don’t just gather things and let them collect dust, you have to be reselling them to someone. All we want are the crates you stole.”“And maybe for you to reconsider a life of crime,” I added. I couldn’t see Amaryllis, because she was mostly behind me, but I knew she was rolling her eyes.“Well well, you want to buy right from the source, huh?”I glanced back to Amaryllis, and she nodded once. It was probably a better idea to just buy things outright than to fight for them, even if the things we were buying didn’t belong to the people we were buying them from. They’d still end up in the hands of the right people in the end.Marvin glanced back to Mitchie, then to us. “Fine. Mitchie, go check on your brothers. We’ll see how roughed up they are. There might be an additional fee, for damages, you understand?”“I guess,” I said. “But your, uh, friends attacked us first. So it was all self-defence.”“I’m hardly one that’s well-versed in such lawful matters. I couldn’t tell ya what is or isn’t self-defence. But I know that I’m not fond of folk that hurt me and mine,” Marvin said.I crossed my arms. Mister Marvin was really quite rude.“So, what’re the goods you’re looking for?” he asked.“We know the name of the cargo, and probably the numbers on the crate, but we don't know what’s in it,” I said.“You don’t know? You're going through an awful lot of trouble to fetch something that isn’t yours,” Marvin said.“We’re doing this as a favour,” I explained. “And, you know, to stop a war. I’m not too sure, but I think wars are bad for people in your line of work too.”He sniffed. “Wouldn’t know.”Footsteps sounded out behind us, and Mitchie burst into the room, breathing hard. “The guard,” he said.“What?” Marvin asked.He pointed down the tunnel behind him, then to us. “They brought the guard with them!”There was a split second of calm before everything went to heck in a bucket. Marvin shouted a few orders, and sylphs scrambled across the room. There were more than we had guessed, sleeping in the tents at the back, or hanging around quietly and minding their own. They seemed to know what they were doing as they rushed to pick up a few items and ran towards the back where a part of the shelves covering one wall were moved aside. A second exit?“Kill the three of them,” Marvin said while pointing right at us.“Oh no,” I said.I stepped back as a sylph swooped down from above with a long staff that smacked into the ground, right where I was standing. Another two ran towards us, long knives poised to attack.“Guys!” I shouted before I had to use my bucket to block a stabbing strike from a knife. The knife planted itself hilt-deep into the bucket and stayed lodged there.I kicked at the shin of the sylph trying to turn me into a bun skewer, then backed up some more. Lightning cracked and a pair of sylph fell before a third summoned a thick dark fog. Magic!Of course a few of them would have sneaky magic, it just made sense.I countered the fog with some cleaning magic, just in time to see a sylph, running around to flank us, step onto a glass caltrop and crash to the floor with a piercing scream.And then the rattle of armour and weapons sounded out behind us and a dozen guards, with short swords and square shields, formed a barrier behind us. There was a paladin at their head, one who looked very unamused at what they saw.“Drop your weapons!” The paladin ordered, a shouted bark so loud it made my ears snap back. My hands went numb, and my bucket thumped to the ground a moment before I raised my arms in surrender.“Oh no, I’ve never been arrested before,” I said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty — Jailbirds
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty — Jailbirds “Wow,” I said as I leaned back onto the very uncomfortable mattress and stared up at the bare rock ceiling. “Being in jail sucks.”“Oh, really?” Amaryllis asked. She was in a cell right next to mine. “I thought that being in jail would be great fun.”“Don’t be sarcastic,” I said.“Don’t be dumb,” she shot back.Obviously, Amaryllis wasn’t in the best of moods. It probably had something to do with our current incarceration. We were all placed in little cells in a large, semi-circular room, with doors facing a small desk where a bored sylph guardsman was reading the newspaper while occasionally looking up to make sure we weren’t up to anything.Awen had the cell on Amaryllis’ other side. She was pacing in little circles, her hands sometimes wiggling around with nervous energy.I didn’t have much else to do but complain. They’d poked at us, and taken away all of our armour and gear. We couldn’t fit in any of the sylph-made jail uniforms they had, so we were left in our normal clothes, which was nice. Then they put strange cuffs on our hands that glowed while burning off our mana about as fast as we generated it.That meant that when I cleaned my cell, I had to do it the old-fashioned way.But that was twenty-minutes ago, and now I had nothing to do.“This is really boring,” I said. “Want to play a game?”“Shut up!” one of the other prisoners shouted over at me.“I’m sorry for bothering you, mister, but I’d really rather not. Talking with my friends is the only thing I can do right now,” I called back. “Did you want to play too? We can do twenty-questions maybe? Oh! We could sing some songs!”“I don’t want to sing any songs!”“That’s okay too. I’d never make someone participate in sing-along time if they’re shy and don’t want to.”Amaryllis sighed. “Broccoli, do you have any concept of how much trouble we could be in?”“A bit,” I said. “But really, if the sylph are as fair and just as they claim to be, then we should be fine. We weren’t doing anything wrong.”“Maybe we weren’t doing anything wrong, but we were certainly doing something illegal. The sylph have so many laws, many of which contradict each other, that no matter what you do, you’re doing something that’s breaking one obscure law or another.” She crossed her wings. “I don’t want to end up in some labour camp smashing rocks.”“We’ll be fine,” I said, this time trying to reassure her.We... might not be fine. I didn’t actually know that. But I didn’t get as far as I did in life by being a pessimist. I’d just have to hope for the best and work through the worst.The door at the end of the prison building rattled, and the guard behind the desk sat up straighter while stashing his newspaper in a drawer. The door opened, and a warden walked in, then held the door open for a pair of guards who stationed themselves on either side of the entrance.Then a familiar face walked in.“Oh hey, Princess Caprica,” I said. “Were you arrested too?”The princess in question perked an eyebrow even as the guard on duty jumped to his feet so fast his chair clattered to the floor while he saluted.“Hello Broccoli. And no, I was not arrested. You three, on the other hand, were.” She walked across the room and stopped near our cells.“Are you here to visit then?” I asked. “I didn’t even know they had visitation hours here.”She chuckled, then shook her head. “Not quite, no.” Her smile grew a lot more genuine, and I detected a faint note of blushing on her cheeks. “I was asked to do a favour by a mutual friend of ours.”Well, that had to be Bastion. “Really? What’s the favour?”“To look into why his three most troublesome companions found themselves behind bars within three days of arriving at the capital. He said that it was entirely expected that you’d all eventually get arrested, but he expected it to at least take five days.”“We’re always pleased to defy expectations,” I said. “And it wasn’t our fault. We were chasing after stolen stuff and were caught up in the kerfuffle.”“And the accusations of breaking and entering in the warehouses, refusing arrest, and... autodefenestration?” the princess asked.“Uh.”Caprica laughed. “Yes, I thought so. Fortunately, you did assist in the arrest of a known band of thieves. The Mitchhum have been something of a thorn in the side of the guard for a while, and they’d recently stolen some goods from some rather prominent and important people.”“Oh, the grenoil cargo,” I said. “What was in that in the end?” I asked.“insect jerky,” Caprica said.“You mean to tell me we went through all that trouble and were arrested just to free up some dried bug meat?” Amaryllis asked.Caprica nodded. “It seems so. Now, Bastion asked me to look after you, and after a small talk with the chief of the guard, we decided to let you out on bond.”“That’s a thing here?” I asked.“It is,” she confirmed. “Though, I had to pay for it myself.”Amaryllis huffed. It was a very ‘of course you did’ sort of huff. “Which means that now we owe you.”“Just a little,” Caprica said. “I’ve also lost an afternoon coming down here. It’s not exactly next door from the palace, you know?” She placed her hands on her hips and looked quite pleased with herself.“Thanks Caprica,” I said. “We really do appreciate it. We’ll pay you back, of course. We have some money laying around.”“Oh, I don’t need money, my dear Captain Bunch. Money is wonderful, but I have plenty of that. I’d be much more interested in obtaining... let’s call it a favour or three?”You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.“Helping a friend out isn’t a favour, silly,” I said. “You know we’d help you with stuff without expecting anything in return.”“Broccoli, you moron, don’t go around telling people that or they’ll start abusing your... niceness,” Amaryllis grumped.“If they’re abusing my niceness because they need help, then it’s perfectly fine,” I retorted.Caprica giggled, then cut herself off with a cough to clear her throat. “I think I really do see why Bastion reported that you were mostly harmless.”“Only mostly?” I asked.“Only mostly,” Caprica agreed. “You have caused your fair share of problems, you know.”“That wasn’t on purpose,” I said.One of the princess’ eyebrows rose. “So you’re telling me you wouldn’t have broken into a warehouse and chased after a known band of thieves if you could avoid it?”“Ah, well, there were a lot of circumstantial things going on,” I said.Caprica laughed. “I’m sure. You three cool your heels for just a moment longer. I'll get the warden to get you out of there. Then you can meet me outside, I have a carriage waiting.”Caprica went off, and soon enough a warden came and opened our cells up. A few of the people in the other cells whined about it, but it was mostly the really drunk sylph that smelled like beer that complained the loudest.We were escorted to a room where we were given back our stuff. I was quick to tie Orange’s collar back on, then I summoned the spirit kitty, just to make sure.I think I might have yoinked her away mid kitty-nap, because she was entirely displeased at being summoned in the middle of a jailhouse. I tried to make it up to her with chin rubs as I followed a guard out of the prison and back onto the streets of Goldenalden.As promised, a carriage was waiting for us just to the side. A big one, with lots of gilding and nice paint trying to disguise the fact that it looked so square. Another guard, this one with the whole ornate getup of a royal guard, opened the carriage door for us.We found Caprica sitting on the front side of the carriage, so the four of us-myself, Awen, Amaryllis, and Orange-bundled ourselves into the rear seats, facing Caprica.“Did you find all of your things?” Caprica asked.“Yup,” I said, and my friends nodded.“Good. Well, now that we’re here, I wanted to talk about... what is that?” She was staring at my arms, where Orange was grumpily settling in for a nap.“This is Orange.”“Is that a spirit cat?” Caprica asked.I nodded. “Yup. Orange is the Grand Admiral of mouse-catching aboard the Beaver Cleaver,” I said. I let go of Orange, who sat on my lap and puffed her little chest out. Though... she wasn’t quite as little as she’d been when I first found her.“May I touch her?” Caprica asked.“Oh, sure,” I said.Orange shot me a look as I picked her up and placed her onto Caprica’s lap. The little sylph princess seemed entirely uncertain of how to treat Orange. Carefully, she ran a hand down Orange’s back, and Orange stood up with the gesture, pressing into the petting. “Oh, she’s majestic,” Caprica said.Orange’s smugness grew.The carriage took off with a rumble, bouncing over the cobbled roads of Goldenalden while Caprica seemed to completely forget that we were there and made little cooing noises at Orange. She rubbed Orange on the head with her forefingers, then when Orange looked up, Caprica started squishy-squishing Orange’s cheeks.I think Caprica nearly fainted when Orange flipped over and let her touch her belly exactly twice before batting her hand away.Amaryllis cleared her throat, and Caprica looked up, then blushed. She continued petting Orange, but with a more dignified air to her, as if she wasn’t just making baby voices at the cat. “Yes, well, as I was saying earlier. I have something of a request for the three of you.”“Sure,” I said.“Broccoli, for just once, can we listen to the request before accepting it?” Amaryllis asked. Awen giggled next to her.“Fine, fine.”“What I’m looking for isn’t anything too complicated,” Caprica said. “It is, in fact, something you want as well. The cervid delegation is stationed at their embassy in the purple district. They’re more or less closed off from the rest of the city, focused as they are on minding their own business.”I nodded. “You want us to befriend them.”“Essentially, yes. That would be nice. The delegation has a few younger members that expressed a wish to explore the city. We offered them an escort, but they don’t like the idea of having a military escort, especially one that’s from a nation with which they have some ongoing tension.”“Oh, you want us to take the place of a military escort,” I said.Caprica nodded. “And I want you to put your friend-making skills to the test. Try to befriend them. They might be younger members, but they still have a little bit of power, and perhaps the ability to sway their parents towards a less violent course.”“Yeah, that sounds easy!” I said.“Um, Broccoli,” Awen spoke up. “Do you remember Emmanuel?”“Yeah,” I said.“What if, ah, the other cervid are like that?”I considered it. “Nah, don’t worry Awen, there’s no way any of the cervid we meet will be that bad.”“I would certainly hope not,” Amaryllis said. “If only for the sake of the country's diplomatic ability.”“Should I know what you three are talking about?” Caprica asked.I shook my head. “It’s fine. So, when do you want us to meet these new potential friends?”The carriage rumbled to a stop. Caprica smiled. “Why, right now.”“Oh, shoot,” I said. “Whelp, you keep an eye on Orange for us, okay?”“Gladly! And good luck.”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-One — How to Win Friends and Influence People
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-One — How to Win Friends and Influence People The cervid guards before the embassy seemed to know that we were coming, because as soon as my friends and I were close, they opened the doors for us and let us into an expansive lobby.The cervid-according to what Amaryllis had told me before-liked open spaces and had something of a dislike of stairs. Which I figured was perfectly understandable. If I was part centaur, I’d probably not like tight spaces and stairs either.The lobby was sparsely decorated, with a few tall, chairless tables to the sides, and some beautiful banners hanging from the walls. The tapestries were all finely woven, often depicting cervid in armour and pretty plains, with patterns woven all around.While I was gawking, a cervid in a butler’s uniform clopped over to us and bowed. His antlers looked like they’d been trimmed to keep them short, or maybe he was another sort of cervid? I really didn’t know much about them. “Greetings. Are you the escorts and local cultural experts?”I was about to say that we were one but not the other when I felt a talon poke my foot. “Yes, yes we are,” Amaryllis said.“Wonderful,” the cervid butler replied. “The young sirs and lady you will be escorting will be arriving shortly. Do you wish for any refreshments while you wait?”I shook my head and my friends did the same.“Ah, what’s the plan?” Awen asked as soon as we were alone again.“The two of us will be on the lookout for danger,” Amaryllis said. “While Broccoli here does her thing and befriends the cervid.”“You know, making friends is supposed to be a natural kind of process,” I said.“There’s nothing natural about how you make friends, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“Hey!”Awen giggled. “It’s okay. So, where do we bring them?”“Maybe they have somewhere they want to visit already?” I asked.Amaryllis nodded. “If that’s the case, then fine. Otherwise, there’s the parade in the Orange District that we’ve heard about, and I suppose some of the airship docks might be impressive.”“And that park we walked next to, the one in front of the Exploration Guild,” I said. “That might be a nice place for a quick picnic.”“Where would we get picnic foods?” Awen asked. “Ah, what do cervids even eat? There aren’t many of them in Mattergrove.”I didn’t know. I hadn’t spent all that much time with any cervid, and when I did it was never while sharing a proper meal. Maybe they ate hay or something. I noticed the butler cervid walking by, so I jogged over to him and flagged him down. “Heya,” I said. “We were thinking it might be nice to eat outside today. But we don’t know what, uh, cervid of a certain standing... uh, eat?”Awen made a noise, like a giggle that was trying to squeak past but was cut off.“I see. A picnic basket of sorts? Yes, that’s a reasonable thing to ask for, especially as so many of the foods the sylph eat don’t sit well with most who have a more delicate palate. I can ask the kitchens to prepare a travel pannier, if you wish.”“That would be great! Maybe an old blanket or two as well?”He nodded and even cracked a bit of a smile. “I’ll certainly see what I can do.”“Thank you,” I said before I raced back to my friends. “We have something of an itinerary now. Picnic in the park, a few nice places to visit and gawk at. It’ll be a lot of fun, I’m sure.”“That will depend entirely on the people we’re escorting, I would think.”“Um, speaking of,” Awen said. She gestured to the end of the room where a pair of double doors were being pushed open. Three cervid stepped in. The first a tall, muscular guy, with a mean-looking face covered in little scars. He had a jacket on, and no shirt underneath, though he was wearing barding over his flanks and lower body.Next to him was a smaller guy, with a smile on his lips that wasn’t matched by his eyes. He glanced around until he saw us, then he continued to stare as he approached with the other two.The third was by far the smallest. A cervid girl, the first I’d ever seen. She was just tall enough that her nose was level with my eyes, and unlike the other two, she seemed a lot more lithe and thin and bouncy. I supposed that came with being part deer. She had a nice sort of summer dress on, one with little embroidery on the edges, and a few flowers were tucked in her hair.“Hello!” I called out to them with a big happy wave. “Are you the ones who wanted a big tour of the city?”The big guy stopped not too far ahead of me and crossed his arms while nodding. “Yeah, we are.”“Wonderful,” I said. “What’re your names?”“Isn’t it customary for you to introduce yourself first?” the other boy-cervid asked.“Oh, right,” I said. “I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch, and these are my best friends, Amaryllis Albatross, and Awen Bristlecone.”“Hello,” the cervid girl said. “I’m Ellie.”“I’m Nathan,” the big one said with another serious nod.“And I’m Rowan.”I grinned. “I’m pleased to meet you all. We’re just waiting for the butler to come back, we thought it might be nice to make a picnic of it. I don’t know if you like the food they have around here or not.”“It’s not that bad,” Ellie said.“You say that, but I think half the staff here have had indigestion since they arrived,” Rowan said.I laughed. “Oh no. Well, let’s try to avoid that, then. I really hope that the three of you can become fast friends with the three of us!”Ellie LennartDream: To marry into one of the great families and to have a big family of her own.Desired Quality: Someone who knows all the good gossip.Rowan NellisDream: To become a proud warrior.Desired Quality: Someone who will fight by his side.Nathan OriamDream: To become the world’s greatest gardener.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.Desired Quality: Someone who will share in his love of horticulture.I grinned. All three of them seemed like perfectly nice people. “I don’t think we’ll have to wait a very long time, but while we are waiting, I was wondering if you three had any places in particular you’d like to visit?”Rowan shrugged. “I don’t really care. I’m just glad we’ll be able to get outside without a whole squadron of sylphs tailing after us.”“It will be nice to see the city up close instead of through a window,” Ellie added.I nodded along. “I bet! We’ve only been here for a few days ourselves. We’re here for that big summit coming up soon. It’s a nice place so far.”“Oh? Where did you travel from?” Ellie asked.“All over! Amaryllis is from the Harpy Mountains, Awen here’s from Mattergrove, and I’m from Canada.”“I’m not familiar with that last one,” Nathan said.“It’s not exactly next door,” I said. “Where are you three from?”Ellie pointed to herself. “I’m from Manamere, the capital, and so is Nathan here.” the bigger cervid nodded. “Rowan is from Cinderlock.”“At the foot of the Golden Peak,” Amaryllis said.“That’s the one,” Rowan said. “It’s growing into its own little city now. A lot of folk who think that Manamere’s getting a little too cramped are moving to the smaller cities around the capital.”“Or they’re taking the trek to the new settlements on the other end of the continent,” Ellie said.“Oh, that’s so neat. I barely know anything about the cervid, I’m afraid. We only ever spent time with one, and it wasn’t for much longer than an afternoon. I hope you don’t mind teaching me a little,” I said.“Part of our mission here is to spread the glories of the Republic to the unknowing,” Nathan rumbled. “I’m sure we can make an effort to teach you what you want to know.”“I’ll return the favour,” I said. “I don’t know much, but what I do know I’d love to share with my new friends.”The butler returned then, with two panniers tucked under his arms. “Lords and gentledoes,” he said as he lowered the panniers on the ground. I noted that there were blankets rolled up and cinched to the sides of them. “Packed lunches, for your convenience.”“Thank you,” I said. I tried to lift one of the panniers, and I did manage, but it was quite a bit heavier than I expected.Nathan rumbled a laugh and took the pannier from my hand. “Let Rowan and I handle it, Captain Bunch,” he said.“Thank you!”The cervid were a lot nicer than I had expected, which was a terrible thing for me to think. I shouldn’t have expected them to be anything less-that sort of prejudice was just plain mean. I decided not to be too hard on myself, as long as I was kind enough to these three to make up for any notions I had, it would probably be okay.“Alright! My friends and I were talking just before you showed up, and we thought that maybe we could start by visiting the Orange District first?”“That’s where they have those parades?” Rowan asked. He tossed the remaining pannier on. “Yeah, I’d like that.”“Great!” I said. “After that, there’s a nice park in the Yellow District that we could stop by for a bit of a picnic, if the weather holds up. It gets snowy here sometimes.”“We can handle a bit of snow,” Rowan said.“Speak for yourself,” Ellie said. “I’d really rather not have to have my coat brushed again.”I gestured to the doors with my arms and ears. “Shall we? It’s a bit of a walk, I think.”“Good, walking keeps you healthy,” Nathan said. He took the lead, pushing the double doors at the entrance open with ease and holding one open for us to follow him out into the early afternoon air.I flounced ahead of the group. I had a lot of energy, and I guess that being out of prison really made me feel bouncy and free. I think some of that energy infected the others, because even Rowan, who seemed a little gloomy, cracked a smile.Ellie cornered Amaryllis and Awen and started asking them about our trip over to Goldenalden, and Rowan walked a bit to the side, idly looking at the building we were walking past. Which left me next to Nathan.“So, Nathan, uh, I don’t know if it’s rude or not, but I have a neat skill that tells me what people like, and I might maybe have used it on you.”Nathan snorted. “Alright,” he said. “I think a few merchants have similar skills.”“Huh. Yeah, I imagine that would be useful. Anyway, you like gardening?”“So what if I do?” he asked, a bit guarded.“That’s great! I have the Gardening skill too! Mine’s not very high-ranked though. I never put any points into it.”“You have Gardening?” he asked.“Yup. Although it doesn’t come in handy all that often. We spend most of our time on our airship, and there’s not that much room on a ship for a garden. I guess I could make a bit of room for one.”“All you would need are a few planter boxes,” Nathan said. “And a way to cover them up, I suppose.”“Cover them? Oh, the wind. Yeah, when we’re really moving the wind might be strong enough to tear a plant right out of the ground. Or at least erode the topsoil away. The temperature changes a lot too.”“Then it depends on what you’re looking to plant. A few flowering plants are pretty hardy. Especially here. The sylph need strong plants to endure the cold this high up. And the lack of air too.”“Right,” I said. I was glad I was getting him to talk. “I’m not sure if I really need flowers though. They’re pretty, but it would be a bit sad if I had to grow them in a box to keep them safe and no one got to see them. Maybe some sort of food?”“Carrots or potatoes,” Nathan proposed. “Both are fairly hardy, especially if you look after them.”“Oh, we could have a proper vegetable garden,” I said. “That’s a great idea! Free produce, and fresh too.”“Handy in a pinch,” Nathan said.I grinned. This whole thing was going just swimmingly.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Two — Finally Playing Tourist
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Two — Finally Playing Tourist Crossing the city with a bunch of cervid was a bit strange.For one, talking to them was a bit hard on the neck. I kept having to look up since they were all pretty tall. If ears counted for height, then I figured it was only fair that antlers count too, and that made Rowan and Nathan very tall indeed.For another, we couldn’t exactly go roof-hopping, so that meant that all of our travelling was done on the ground. We walked past a lot of sylph who’d stop to stare, and the roads, while well-labelled, didn’t exactly tell us where we were. There were some helpful signs that pointed people towards clinics, and some that pointed towards dragon shelters, but otherwise we had to guess our way across Goldenalden.I did try to stop a few sylph to ask for directions, but they tended to ignore me or walk away faster.Still, we did eventually make it all the way over to the parade grounds.The street was long and wide, made of something that felt a lot like cement underfoot, but that was a bit darker. The sidewalks were elevated a step, and there were a few stalls setting themselves up along the road.I glanced around, but I couldn’t see any armies walking around in formation, though there were some sylph in uniform here and there. “Well, this isn’t what I expected,” I said.“They can hardly be parading around all day,” Amaryllis said.Ellie giggled. “Are you sure? That sounds like a very sylph thing to do.”Amaryllis squawked a laugh. “Oh, it does, doesn’t it? Well, in either case, they’re not here parading now, so it’s a moot point.”“Ah,” Awen said. It was that particular sort of ‘ah’ that someone shy said when they wanted people to listen to them, but didn’t want to raise a fuss. I turned the way and smiled encouragingly. “The stalls are still set up. I think if it was all over and there was nothing else happening, they’d be packing up.”“You’ve got good eyes,” Rowan said. He scanned the area, then trotted over to one of the nearby stands. He had to lean in carefully to make sure his antlers didn’t poke holes into the canopy hanging above the stall.I ran over, just in case he needed some help. I wasn’t even sure if the sylph here spoke some other language than... whatever language the cervid spoke.“Excuse me, sir,” Rowan said to the lady behind the stall’s counter. One of her eyebrows curled up, and she beat her wings once. “Do you know when the next parade is going to start?”“There’s one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and another in the early evening. You have about an hour to wait.”“Oh, shoot,” I said. “That’s a while. Thanks miss,” I said with my biggest, most apologetic grin.“Ah, that’s a woman sylph,” Rowan said as he backed out and started heading over to the others. I stayed by his side and hoped the stall-lady didn’t hear. “It’s always hard to tell with sylph.”“Really?” I asked.“Well, they mostly look the same. There’s the facial hair, of course, but not all men have that. And none of the men have antlers,” Rowan explained.“Uh,” I said.“We don’t spend too much time talking to them,” he added, a little defensively.“Ah, that’s a shame, they’ve been pretty nice so far. For the most part. Actually, I think most people are nice by default, regardless of their species. It’s all about being nice if you expect others to be nice in return.”“If you say so,” Rowan replied. I don’t think he really believed me.“The show’s not for another hour or so,” I said to everyone as we returned. “What should we do until then?”“Eat?” Amaryllis asked. “The park isn’t far, and those of us who are feeling a little more adventurous can try some of the foods they’re serving here.” She gestured a talon towards one of the nearby stalls where a sylph was dipping balls of batter into a deep-fryer being kept warm by a magical element on its bottom. The smell wafting around was enough to make my tummy plead for a taste.“That’s a fine idea,” Nathan said. “I’ve been meaning to try some of the local cuisine.”“They told us not to at the embassy,” Ellie objected. “In case the food was tampered with.”Rowan laughed. “I doubt a street vendor would be equipped to tamper with anything. And besides, half the reason we left the embassy today was to see and try new things. Come on, Ellie, it can’t hurt. It’ll even give you something to buy. We all know how much you like spending your family’s gold.”Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.Ellie sniffed, but she didn’t complain as we went from stall to stall, picking out whatever food looked tastiest. The sylph, for all that they seemed to mostly be in good shape and have a fixation on military readiness, did seem to have quite the sweet-tooth.Most of the things we grabbed were pastries, usually of the sweet and gooey variety. A few stalls had some meat skewers, which Amaryllis zero’d in on, and one had something like a blender which was serving up smoothies with ice and some green stuff. They were the healthy, un-fun kind of smoothies.Once we had enough junk food to last six teenagers exactly one afternoon, we walked off with our bounties to the park in the next district over. There were a few others around, but we found a park table large enough for all of us. The cervid just sort of stood next to it though since they weren’t built for the sort of seats the sylph had.I frowned. “Do cervid have chairs?” I asked.Ellie laughed. “No one asks that! And no, we don’t have chairs. What we do have are these big cushions to lay down on. They’re filled with soft stuff. It’s nice. Though we can just lay down on the grass too.”“Oh, neat,” I said.It was strange, but I never quite appreciated the ability to just... sit, before. I was happy I’d turned into a bun, which meant that I still have two legs and a butt for sitting.“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“Yes?”“You’re thinking stupid things again,” she said. “I can feel it in my feathers. They itch.”I pouted, then comforted myself with another bite from some of the street food we’d grabbed.Nathan dropped his panniers onto the table, opening them and beginning to set down some foods onto the table. I stared at the little glass jars and paper-wrapped contents. There were strange sandwich-like things, and jars filled with plump berries.“What’s that?” I asked as I pointed to one of the sandwiches. The bread looked really strange.“Oh, that’s a great snack is what it is,” Ellie said. “It’s a mushroom and ivy sandwich.” She opened the wrapper and revealed the sandwich within. It was two large mushrooms with some green leaves stuck between them, as well as some sort of sauce. “There are crushed acorns in there too. Want a bite?”“Can I?” I asked.Nathan sighed and pushed Ellie’s offering down. “No, you can’t. No offence, but you literally don’t have the stomach for it.”“I don’t?” I asked.Nathan shook his head. “No. Your teeth aren’t quite right for it either. Cervid have flatter, blunter teeth for crushing, and we have more than one stomach that’s specialised in digesting plants and the like.”“Oh,” I said. “So you’re all vegetarians?”“Oh no, we can eat meat,” Ellie said. “But it needs to be prepared specially. Mushrooms and nuts and berries keep better.”Nathan pushed a box of berries my way. “Here, these are blueberries. You can eat those.”“Thanks,” I said. We talked about food some more, because talking about food was easy. Most everyone liked eating and nearly everyone liked complaining, so it wasn’t hard to steer the conversation to keep everyone talking.Once we’d scarfed everything down, and Nathan repacked his things, we all stood and stretched and the boys roughhoused a bit before we took off again. It had been nearly an hour since we’d left the road where the parade was supposed to take place, and in that time a few more stalls had appeared and there were more people milling around the sides of the road.“Come on,” Rowan said. He gestured to the other side of the road, where the homes and businesses stopped and the area was left open next to what I figured was the actual military academy. “Let’s get a closer view.”We did a bit of jaywalking (after looking both ways) then installed ourselves to see the show.We didn’t have to wait long. Soon sylph in neat uniforms were walking out of the academy and forming up into neat rows under the screamed instructions of a very angry instructor. A marching band grouped up as well, and soon the entire formation started to march out, with a second group forming up behind the first.I clapped and cheered along with some of the civilians, though I refrained from making faces or silly noises at the stoic soldiers as they moved past.A tug at my sleeve had me turning towards Awen. “Hey, where’s Rowan?”I spun, counted two cervid, then felt a deep sinking feeling in my tummy.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Three — Are You Trying to Get Arrested
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Three — Are You Trying to Get Arrested “Where’s Rowan?” I asked.Amaryllis, Nathan, and Ellie didn't seem to hear me and kept watching the parade. There had to be a few thousand sylph out on the road, all resplendent and marching with perfect synchronisation under the watchful eyes of drill sergeants.I glanced to Awen, who shrugged. “I didn’t see when he left,” she said. “I turned, and he was just gone.”I chewed on the inside of my lip as I searched the crowds lining the street. I didn’t want to scream out Rowan’s name. Not that my screaming would help much. A marching band was stomping along in the middle of the formation of soldiers, brass horns and drums and cymbals hooting and banging in time to a marching beat. I wouldn’t be heard over that.“Guys!” I said as I ran up to Amaryllis and the others. I tugged on Nathan’s arm to get his attention. “Rowan’s missing.”Nathan looked at me, then glanced around to look for his friend. He had a height advantage, I was sure he’d see Rowan, and we’d all discover that the cervid had wandered over to a street vendor, or maybe the washroom, and everything would be fine.“I can’t see him,” Nathan said, poking a hole right through my hopes.“Probably just taking a walk,” Ellie said dismissively. “Look, they’re doing aerial parades too.”I glanced at the sylph zipping through the air in tight formations, but that was all the attention I spared them. “I’m still worried,” I said. “We’re responsible for keeping you three safe, you know?”“Just relax,” Ellie said.Nathan made a deep, growly noise. “Ellie, you’re hiding something,” he said. “I’ve known you long enough to tell. Where’s Rowan gone?”Ellie stepped to the side slightly, her arms crossing. “How would I know?” she said. It did sound rather defensive.“You’re all morons,” Amaryllis snapped. She gestured to the side with a wing, pointing towards the large military base right next to us. “Rowan’s the one that wanted to stand so close to the base, and now he’s missing. He’s probably snooping in there right now. Right, Ellie?”Ellie pouted for just a moment before she glared at Amaryllis. “We’re not spies,” she said.“I didn’t accuse you of anything of the sort,” Amaryllis said. “But I sure did think it.”“Amaryllis. We’re trying to be friends here,” I said with a warning look. “Nathan, Ellie, where did Rowan go?”“If he did go to the base,” Nathan said with a rather pointed glance at Ellie. “Then it’ll be against the orders of the embassy. Which means that he’d be under a different set of orders.”“I don’t really know much about Trenten Flats politics,” I said.“I mean that it’s likely that if he is trying to see what can be seen in that base, then he’s doing so under the polite suggestion from a superior in the army. Rowan’s always been ambitious, it wouldn’t surprise me to hear of him taking this kind of risk to earn a bit of favour.”“Are there any cervid military types here in Goldenalden?” Amaryllis asked.Nathan shook his head. “No. Well, yes. There’s an escort, and guards who are under the orders of a commissar, but the summit is meant to be a peace talk, and the sylph discouraged the presence of non-diplomatic military personnel. Which is all the military personnel in the Trenten Flats. We keep the army and politics far apart, as a rule.”“So, assuming we believe you, if Rowan is being a moron, then he’s being a moron under either the orders of someone that’s nowhere near here, or he’s doing it of his own free will to score points,” Amaryllis summarised.“Rowan’s not a moron,” Ellie said.I butted in before Amaryllis could say anything else, because I knew that her next words weren’t going to be all that polite. It took some time for people to get used to Amaryllis’ Amaryllis-ness, and the cervid weren’t quite ready for that. “Let’s look for him,” I said. “Just a poke around the base. Around it. We can’t get into trouble for taking an enthusiastic walk, I don’t think.”“What if he comes back?” Ellie asked.I hesitated. “What if we split up, then? Some of us stay here, the rest go looking for Rowan?”“I’ll go with you,” Awen said. “Amaryllis can stay with Ellie.”Amaryllis squawked. “Why should I stay?”“Because you’re a harpy. They’ll think you’re more suspicious than Broccoli and I, and if we get into big trouble, you’re better backup than I would be.”Amaryllis sufficiently placated, I turned to Nathan and nodded. I tried my best to make it one of those serious boy-nods that guys sometimes gave each other, but I wasn’t too sure if I pulled it off. Still, when I started walking towards the base, he followed right along with me.The base itself had a yard all around it, probably something of a luxury in a place like Goldenalden where space was such a premium. There were plain buildings on either side though, homes, or maybe discrete offices. And behind the base was a sheer wall of stone, part of the mountain that had been carved out so that the base could be laid on even ground.All that meant that there was really no reason for someone to cross the base to try to get to the other side, nor was there much room to move in next to the base without being right out in the open.Despite all that, I could see Rowan anywhere. “Do you think he really went towards the base?” I asked.“It’s possible,” Nathan said.I chewed on my bottom lips for a moment. I couldn’t just walk up to the base. I’d be spotted and someone would tell me off. But maybe we could circle around it? If he wasn’t there, then we’d widen our search.“Look, there’s a sort of passage there,” Awen said. She pointed towards the back of the buildings next to the base. There was a gap between them and the stone wall. An alleyway?“And I bet the alley between any two buildings leads right up to that one,” I said. “Well spotted, Awen.”“It will be that much less suspicious, I hope,” Nathan said as we ducked into the nearest alleyway. It did, indeed, meet up with the passage at the back.“How did Rowan get around sneakily if he didn’t come through here?” I asked.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.Nathan sighed. I didn’t know if it was a big sigh because he was a big guy, or if he really just felt like sighing big. “Rowan has a few stealth-based skills. Part of his great ambitions.”“You need those to become a military person?” I asked.“The Trenten Flats’ army has always put a lot of stock in stealth. For every brash soldier who thinks that the grand charge is the finest act of heroism, there’s another who has invested years in learning the great bow and who can hide in the middle of an empty field.”“Oh,” I said. That was rather impressive. “Rowan’s that sort?”“He thinks that charging at a line of spears and shields is a very dumb thing to do. So yes, he’s the sort who dreams of becoming another... ah, you probably wouldn’t know the names of our folk heroes.”“Sorry,” I said.Nathan shook his head. “It’s no matter.”We reached the end of the surprisingly clean alley (of all the dark alleys I’d been in, this was the cleanest so far), and stuck our heads out to look both ways. Nothing but cleared space. Some of the homes further out clearly had some private backyards, with little fences around them, but otherwise it was a boring old alleyway.We moved towards the base, then stared out at it again. This time from the rear. The base had a few buildings, basically a complex of what looked like dorms and gymnasiums and classrooms. Really, I could only tell that much because they had large signs above the doors. Otherwise, the buildings didn’t have much decoration, they were just tall but still squat buildings made of dark stone, with windows here and there and a bunch of entrances on the ground floor. Rowan was at one of those windows, peeking in.“Oh no,” I muttered.“Well, nothing for it,” Nathan said as he started to walk out of the alley.I jogged after him, Awen by my side. “What are you going to do?” I asked.“Give him an earful, after I drag him back to the street,” Nathan said. “Just ditching us like that, it’s not the kind of behaviour anyone should exhibit. Especially when we’re meant to be acting at our best.”“Right, but maybe we can be a little more subtle?” I asked.“Too late for that,” Awen said.I turned in time to see a pair of sylph jogging our way. They both had armbands on, with an eye-like symbol on it, and they carried batons instead of swords by their hips. “Hey, you three,” the smaller of the two sylph said. “What are you doing out here?”“Uh,” I said. I had to come up with something other than ‘we’re here to stop our buddy from spying on you.’ That would have been way too suspicious!Before I could say the first lie that I thought up, Awen stepped before me and smiled. “Hi there! We’re lost.”“You’re lost,” the officer repeated.Awen nodded. “Yup! The two of us girls needed to use the little lady’s room, and then we wanted to see the parade, but now we can’t find it at all.”“There aren’t any ‘little lady’s rooms’ around here” the officer said.“Well, I didn’t say that we had used one, just that we needed to use one,” Awen pointed out. “Do you know where there’s a little lady’s room?”The officer didn’t look amused. “Really?” he asked.“We could use a boy’s room in a pinch,” Awen said. She shrugged. “You know us, us humans and buns, we just need to wash up a lot.”“And what about the cervid?” the officer asked.Awen glanced back at Nathan, then at me. “Uh,” she said.“They’re our chaperones,” I said hurriedly.“That’s right,” Awen said. “Nathan here’s our chaperone.”“One of them,” I added. “We have two.”The officer looked at Nathan, who stood a little taller. “You have two?” he asked.I nodded, then pointed to Rowan. “See. There’s our other one. Hey! Rowan!” I called. “Did you find a bathroom yet?”The officer blinked, turning his head to follow the imaginary line of my finger, and saw Rowan with his face smooshed against a window. "Hey!" he shouted, reaching for his club. "This is a restricted area! You can't be looking in there!"Rowan jumped, spun, then stared at us all wide-eyed. When the officer started moving towards him we followed, Awen and I making ‘calm down’ sorts of gestures at him. Rowan looked like he wanted to run away, but Nathan shook his head and he stayed on the spot.“Did you find a little lady’s room?” Awen asked before the officer could start grilling Rowan.“No?” Rowan tried.The officer glared at Rowan, then at us. “Okay, I don’t know what kind of funny-business is going on here, but I don’t like it.”“We don’t like bathroom business either, sir,” Awen said. “But it’s a necessary evil.”The taller officer snickered until his partner levelled his glare on him. He looked at us again, and I tried extra-hard to look innocent. “Get out of here. Find a washroom elsewhere. Not... not here.”The nice officer escorted the four of us for a while until we could walk off on our own.“Damned tourists,” he muttered before walking off.Nathan waited until we were back on the sidewalk and heading towards the others before he rounded on Rowan. “What in the World’s own sacred Dirt did you think you were doing back there?” he asked.“I... got lost,” Rowan said.“Oh, were you looking for a washroom?” Nathan asked with biting sarcasm. “You idiot. You could have gotten us all in a heap of trouble.”“I needed to,” Rowan said.“Needed to what? Get arrested? I don’t entirely disagree,” Nathan said. “But you getting in trouble would put me and these girls in trouble too.”“The sylph are a threat to our nation,” Rowan hissed.“And you’re a threat to my sanity,” Nathan bit back.I cleared my throat. “Um. Can we... not do this? Friends shouldn’t argue. Come on, Rowan will tell us everything, I’m sure, but it would be nicer if we didn’t have a big argument right on the sidewalk. Also, arguing when tempers are high already isn’t great. I’m sure we can make an effort to be nice to each other.”The boys were silent until we reached Ellie and Amaryllis who were both waiting with their arms crossed. “So, where did you find the moron?” Amaryllis asked.I smacked myself in the face.
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Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Four — The Honourable Judge Bunch, Presiding
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Four — The Honourable Judge Bunch, Presiding We needed a quiet place to chat, so we looked around for one. I made sure to strongly suggest to the others (with finger-waggled threats) not to snipe at each other until we found a place where we could talk.As it turned out, the first place we found was a bar not too far from the parade grounds. It wasn’t too busy, probably owing to it being fairly early in the day still, and while the interior wasn’t well-lit, it was rather cosy, with a hearth in the corner providing some warmth and a sylph musician plucking away at a lute in a different corner.The barmaid gave us a table to ourselves in the far corner, away from most of the other patrons who gave us strange looks. We definitely stood out, but as long as no one was snooping in, it was fine.Amaryllis and Nathan ordered a bunch of drinks so that we wouldn’t be freeloading, and then we all sat or stood around the table.“Okay,” I said. I put on my-figurative-Judge Broccoli wig, then glanced at everyone around the table. “Who wants to go first?” I asked.“How about Rowan goes first?” Amaryllis asked. “He’s the one that nearly got us all arrested.”“Amaryllis, try to keep the accusations to a minimum. We haven’t heard from Rowan himself about why he, ah, walked off to explore that sylph base.”“I was looking for a washroom,” Rowan said.We all stared.“Mister Rowan,” I said patiently. “That’s, uh, not true, I don’t think, and we all know it.”Rowan crossed his arms. “You’re not my superiors. I don’t have to endure this whole... charade. For all I know you’ll just spill to the sylph.”“If they wanted to do that, they could have left you with the sylph guards back there,” Nathan pointed out. “But they didn’t. Broccoli here wanted to save you despite the risk to herself.”“Yeah, we might have gotten arrested again,” I said.“What?” Ellie asked.“Anyway,” I said. “You can tell us, Rowan, I’m sure you had good reasons. It takes a lot of bravery to sneak into a place like that. I’m sure you didn’t do it just for fun.”Rowan glared at me, then at Nathan, and finally at the wood grain of the table. If time spent glaring was any measure of a person’s anger, then he really loathed the table. “Fine,” he said.The cervid uncrossed his arms and placed them, balled into fists, on the surface. We had to wait just a little before he really seemed ready to speak up.“The sylph are gearing up for war,” he said. “They’ve always been very militaristic, but this is different. It started maybe a year ago. They have spies too, you know, and those started to poke around a lot in Manamere and elsewhere. They were looking for something. I think they were checking to see the nation’s readiness.”“Go on,” Amaryllis said.“Well, that’s all there is to it,” he said. “They’re going to go to war, and this time it’ll be big. Sylphfree, the Nesting Mountains, the Republic. Maybe the grenoil and those humans too. They’re a ways off, but with airships it shouldn’t be hard to drop a whole army on the Republic’s lap.”“Wait, you think they’re all going to go to war with us?” Ellie asked.“Sylphfree and the Nesting Mountains becoming allies is pretty far-fetched,” Amaryllis said.“It’s not that implausible,” Rowan argued. “Look, the grenoil want the bit of the Trenten Flats next to their home. The harpies want all that land that we took around the base of their mountains. The sylph probably want the capital itself.”“All that from discovering a few spies?” Amaryllis asked.Rowan looked up to her. “And discovering what they were spying on. That’s not all. Dungeons all across the Trenten Flats have become unusable. The government is locking them up and refusing anyone entry.”“Evil roots,” I said.Rowan snapped his attention onto me. “What did you say?”“Evil roots. They’re these big root things that grab onto a dungeon’s core and corrupt it.”“They’re a sylph weapon,” Rowan pushed.“Uh. No? We’ve seen them everywhere. In Mattergrove, in Deepmarsh, even on the other side of the Grey Wall. That’s where the infection was worst, actually. We know that there’s been an outbreak here too. The sylph lost a few dungeons.”Amaryllis and Awen both nodded to confirm what I said.“It’s not a sylph weapon, I don’t think. If it is, they’re losing dungeons to it too. Or at least, Rainnewt destroyed some of their dungeons because they were infected,” I said.Rowan was frowning, I wasn’t sure if he believed us or not, but he was listening.“Who?” Ellie asked.I pouted. “Rainnewt. Or Drizz L. Izard. Or... maybe other reptile nicknames. He knows a lot of languages, and has been attacking and destroying dungeons here and elsewhere too. He was part of the Exploration Guild in Goldenalden for a bit, then he moved to Deepmarsh to make trouble there.”“Did you hear anything about a cervid diplomat getting into trouble in Deepmarsh?” Amaryllis asked.“There was one that was killed there,” Ellie said. “Everyone was talking about it.”“That’s Rainnewt,” Amaryllis said. “He’s the one that bombed that gala, with the sylph representatives in Fort Sylphrot, too.”Nathan raised a hand, stalling us. “You’re saying that this one person has been to three countries and did all of that?”“Yeah. He’s scary,” I said. “I met him once, and fought him once. He can shapeshift.”“It’s very likely that he’s not working alone,” Amaryllis said. “But Broccoli’s essentially correct. He’s working to start a war.”“Why?” Nathan asked.Amaryllis and Awen and I looked at each other.Nathan leaned forwards. “If you know, and you expect us to trust you, then tell us.”A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.“Well,” I said. “Um.”“It’s your secret to tell,” Awen said.I nodded. It was. “That’s true. Rainnewt is probably a riftwalker.”“That’s ridiculous,” Ellie said.“If he is a riftwalker,” I continued. “Then he probably has a quest from the World to destroy all the Evil Roots. The World really, really doesn’t like them. I think... we think that Rainnewt’s solution to that is to get all the nations to fight each other. That’ll mean a lot of dungeons being destroyed all over, which might stop the Evil Roots. They don’t just make a dungeon more dangerous, they corrupt the mana around them too, and they can spread. So every nation will have to start working to stop them.”“And how would you know any of that?” Nathan asked. His eyes were narrowed, as if he were holding back a suspicion.“Well, I’m a riftwalker too, and that’s what the World asked me to do. The dungeon fixing and Evil Root pruning, not the whole... war thing. I’m very anti-war.”“You want us to believe that you’re a riftwalker?” Ellie said. She sniffed. “You can’t be.”“Why not?” I asked.“Well, for one, Riftwalkers are special,” she said.Awen and Amaryllis both started to giggle. I felt my ears wilting. “I’m special,” I mumbled.“Miss Broccoli,” Nathan said. Everyone turned to him. “How long have you been on Dirt?”“Uh, about two months, I think? Maybe a bit less than that. I really should have gotten something to count the days,” I said.Nathan nodded and turned to the others. “Well, she speaks Lavaleigh Pastiche as if she was born to it.”“There are skills that could allow her to do that,” Ellie said. “And for someone to arrive on Dirt and be here, with her own ship and... two people of some import in the space of a month and a bit is entirely too silly.”“Wouldn’t that be good evidence in favour that she’s a riftwalker then?” Amaryllis asked. “The stories about them frequently feature their far-fetched exploits. The World chooses them for a reason, after all.”“I’m not lying,” I added.Rowan sighed. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, cutting past the argument. “If what you’re saying is true. And I’m not saying that I believe you, then Sylphfree isn’t planning to go to war?”“Oh, they probably are,” Amaryllis said. “But their preparations are based on Rainnewt's machinations and possibly the dungeon infections — they're drawing the same conclusions you did; except they probably think it's all a plot by you to invade. They’re being played for fools just as hard as your precious Republic is.”“And you elected not to tell them?” Nathan asked.“That’s what we’re in this miserable country for. To show them the truth, and convince them not to start a war on the global stage,” Amaryllis said. “Do you have any idea how many would die in a war between all of these countries? Not just sylph, but harpy and cervid.”“The Republic would win,” Ellie said with utmost confidence.“The Republic is about a decade behind in weapons and airship manufacturing, and you’re ill-suited to fighting in mountains,” Amaryllis said.Nathan cleared his throat very pointedly. “We are not going to do a nationalistic girth measuring contest now,” he said.“Yeah,” I agreed. I didn’t know what a nation’s girth was, but that didn’t matter, we were talking about more important things. “I don’t think any of us want a war. But we’ve moved past our original subject. Uh, Rowan, what you did wasn’t very nice, and it might have put your friends in danger. I think saying sorry would be an easy solution to everything. And if you really want information to give to your superiors or whatever, then you have all this stuff about Rainnewt.”Rowan sniffed. “I’m not going to-” Nathan’s chest shifted, as if he had just moved one of his legs very quickly under the table, and Rowan winced. “Ah... I mean, yes, I’m very sorry. But that information, about Rainnewt or whomever, it’s not going to be enough, if they even believe it.”“They can look into it too,” I said. “It’s the truth, it has to be easier to verify than... the not-truth.”“You’re an optimist,” Ellie said.“The biggest,” I agreed.Amaryllis waved the discussion off. “We’re not going to go anywhere with this. We don’t have concrete proof to provide to you, and you have a bias towards whatever you were taught about how the World works.”“We all have biases,” I said before I sighed. The conversation was over, more or less. There was no point in dragging it out. “So now what? We just continue being tourists for the rest of the day?”“While the news is rather distressing,” Nathan said. “I don’t see the harm in doing just that. People might get suspicious if we don’t do what we set out to do. And besides, I do want to see the city for myself, not just this little part of it either.”“Alright then,” I said as I stood up. “Let’s go out there and have as much fun as we can while we still can. And then... and then I guess we’ll see what we can do. The whole reason we’re going to the summit is to try and convince everyone not to start this whole war thing.”“A noble cause,” Nathan agreed.We got up just as the barmaid returned with all of our drinks and such. Amaryllis sheepishly paid for them all, then told the barmaid to hand them out to other customers. It was rather awkward.“So, where to next?” I asked as we stepped out onto the street.“I do still want to visit the shopping district,” Ellie said.“The docks,” Rowan replied.I nodded. “Great! To the shopping district and the docks! Amaryllis, which is closer?”“How would I know?” Amaryllis asked. “I never made a point of learning where the best shops are in Goldenalden, of all places.”“Oh, don’t be a wet duck,” I said.Amaryllis squawked, much like a duck would.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Five — Into Thin Air
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Five — Into Thin Air “Bye bye!” I called out from the entrance, an arm waving above me.Our new cervid friends weren’t so enthusiastic in their goodbyes, but then again, there were other cervid around, guards and servants, so maybe they were a bit embarrassed about such a public show of friendliness. A lot of people were like that.I did my best to fight against such boring attitudes by being as loud and friendly as I could.Once the three of them were back into the cervid embassy, we turned around and started heading back towards our inn. The evening was a bit chilly. The lowering sun and a few grey clouds above darkened the streets even as lamps were being lit to fight off the gloom. The extra light didn’t help against the creeping cold, though.We hurried back, sometimes breaking out into little bits of jogging both to keep warm, and because it was fun to laugh and bounce around.Big snowflakes started to drift down from above, and I found myself laughing as I danced around on the sidewalk. It attracted plenty of strange looks from the sylph, but this time, those looks were often accompanied by knowing smiles.It took a good fifteen minutes to arrive at the base of the Dewdrop Inn, mostly because we took a wrong turn at some point. But a friendly city guard pointed us in the right direction.The Inn welcomed us with warmth and the aroma of freshly cooked food. We raced up to the top floor, where the inn’s dining room was packed full of strangers digging into an early supper. I think we weren’t all that hungry, but the assault from so many tasty fragrance broke down our resistance and we ended up ordering a couple of meals to be sent up to our shared rooms before we retired for the night.As soon as we were in our rooms, Amaryllis changed into a loose nightgown and sat down on the nearest couch, and I tossed off the more restrictive bits of my armour so that I was only in the gambeson beneath. I chucked off my shoes, then flopped back-first onto the sofa and placed my feet onto Amaryllis’ lap.“Disgusting,” Amaryllis said. “You humans have such weird feet.”I wiggled my toes at her. It was nice to relax my feet. It had been a busy day and my toes deserved a good wiggle. “Technically, these are bun feet. I think? Huh, I got a tail and ears, but I never really looked to see if my feet had changed.”“Well, don’t ask me,” Amaryllis said. “I have proper talons.”“What’s wrong with my feet?” I asked.“Your nails could do with some trimming,” Awen said with a giggle.“Another reason why talons are so much more superior than your fleshy little feet,” Amaryllis said. “Long talons are a sign that you’re healthy. They’re also a far superior weapon.”“Compared to feet?” I asked. “But I can kick people with my feet. And stomp with them too.”Amaryllis raised a leg, stretched it straight out, and flexed her talons. The sharpened bits were about as long as a hand and they ended on a wicked point. “I can gut someone with one of these. And who’s to say that a harpy can’t kick? Though, we are lighter, so perhaps you have the advantage with stomping.”“Hmm, I wonder if I could get a class evolution that would give me talons,” I muttered.Awen giggled. “We don’t need you to have talons and ears and a tail all at the same time,” she said. “You’d start to look like some sort of chimera.”“A bunmera,” I said.Amaryllis huffed the unamused huff of someone that had just heard an excellent pun but who was too snooty to admit that it was a great pun.Someone knocked at the door, and I swung my legs around and bounced to my feet. “Food!” I cried. I still wasn’t hungry, but I knew that would change as soon as I had a plate or two set out before me.I skipped over to the door and threw it open. “Uh. You’re not food.”“I would sincerely hope not,” Princess Caprica said from the other side.She stood flanked by two soldiers, both of whom seemed rather unimpressed by my greeting. I cleared my throat and stood taller. “Sorry about that! We were just, ah, expecting dinner. Wait, do you call it supper here? Anyway, come on in!”Caprica chuckled and stepped in, her guards scanned the room from outside, then shuffled off to either side of the door and stood there at attention.“Hello Amaryllis, Awen,” Caprica said. “I hope I’m not intruding?”“Of course not,” I said. “We were just relaxing. We had a busy day today, and this is the first time we can just sit back and chill out.”“I’m glad that you’re able to find some time for that,” Caprica said. “It’s important to balance work and relaxation. Do you mind if I sit?” she gestured to a loveseat across from the bigger sofa.Awen sat where I’d been earlier, which left me a big spot between her and Amaryllis. I sat back down, then flopped onto my side so that I was resting my head on Awen and my feet were back on Amaryllis’s lap.“Again? Do I look like a footstool?”“You’re the prettiest footstool,” I said.Caprica grinned. “I hope that your good mood means that everything went well?”“Ah, so you’re here to see what we learned?” Amaryllis asked. She nodded, then started rubbing at her chin. “How familiar are you with the three cervid we met?”“I never met them. I’ve read a few reports that mention them, but they weren’t exactly illuminating.”“They were pretty nice,” I said. “Nathan’s quiet, but very dependable, and he feels like he’s aware of how strong he is and is a big softie because of it. He’s good friend material. And Ellie is good at reading people. And she knows a lot about fashion, and I think politics, too. She’s fun. Also good friend material. Rowan... wasn’t quite as nice as he could have been. He put himself first. But he’s clever and not mean, so he could be good friend material if you’re willing to be a good friend first.”Amaryllis sighed. “You’re such a Broccoli.”This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.“What’s that even mean?”“It means that you have the weirdest perception about the World that I have ever encountered,” Amaryllis said.I rolled my eyes. There wasn’t too much I could do to change that, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to, besides. “Well, whatever. We have important things to tell Caprica. Like how Rowan was kinda-sorta a cervid spy.” One of Caprica’s eyebrows rose sharply. “A really bad one.”“He’s a spy?” Caprica repeated.“No, not a state-sanctioned spy,” Amaryllis said.“States will rarely sanction spies,” Caprica said with obvious humour. “At least, I know that the spies we hire in Sylphfree are definitely not hired by us.”“Didn’t you just... say that you hire them?” I asked.Amaryllis sighed. “She means that no nation would admit to hiring anyone to spy on anyone else. Admitting it would be the fastest, and stupidest, way to get into diplomatic trouble with another nation.”I groaned and pushed into Awen some more. “Awen, save me from all these political things. I just want to go on adventures and see new things and make friends.”Awen patted me between the ears. “I’m sorry, Broc, but I think we need to take care of all of this stuff first. We can go on adventures after. Promise.”Caprica chuckled. “I envy your ability to get away from it all. Maybe, one day... ah, but we should go over everything first. Miss Amaryllis, you seem the most... sensible when it comes to recounting events. Would you mind describing the day?”I didn’t protest her calling Amaryllis better than me at storytelling. She was probably right. Amaryllis went over the day’s event, from meeting the cervid in their embassy, all the way to leaving them at the front of the embassy some hours later. She glossed over a lot of stuff, but spent a lot more time on things that I didn’t think were as important.Caprica spent the entire time nodding, only asking a few small questions for clarity or to make sure she understood. She was a good listener, and asked a few good questions, especially about the Evil Roots once we explained those. “I see,” she said when Amaryllis was done at last. “Well, I... don’t think that Rowan is a proper spy. Just, perhaps, a misguided young man. I’ll make sure that no one overreacts if they learn of his little escapade. I’ll want to hear this stuff about Rainnewt myself, you know. I have the impression that I only have small bits of the story there.”I nodded along. I had to blink a few times. Awen running her hand through my hair was making me sleepy. “He’s a mean person, and I don’t like him.”“Strong words,” Caprica said. “Now, I didn’t come here just to bother you about your day spent with the cervid. Though I’m quite pleased with the results so far. I did have some news that might interest you.”“Go on,” Amaryllis said.“A harpy ship arrived in port this afternoon, with some delegates for the summit,” Caprica said. Amaryllis leaned forwards at the news. “Not the official ship, mind, just a smaller vessel with some nobles aboard. It apparently left after the primary diplomatic ship, which officially makes the absence of the primary diplomats... suspect.”“Could it have been destroyed?” Amaryllis asked. “Or waylaid? I haven’t had time to look at any weather reports from the past weeks.”“We don’t know,” Caprica said. “But because of who was onboard, the navy is sending out a taskforce to search along the route the ship was meant to take. Some are claiming pirates did it, but...”“But that’s ridiculous. The ship had an escort. And it wasn’t unarmed either. The nobles onboard would have bodyguards, some of them would be skilled enough to put up a good fight-not just the bodyguards, but even the nobles. Quite a few of them would have second-tier combat classes.”I frowned. “Maybe there were a lot of pirates?” I asked.“I don’t think the sylph allow large groups of pirates to control the skies so close to their lands,” Amaryllis said. “There are few pirates that would be foolish enough to stay near the Harpy Mountains.”“So there would need to be pirates over the Trenten Flats then,” Awen said.“Which is possible. The Trenten Flats have an abysmal air force,” Amaryllis said. “But it’s still unlikely. No, I think we’re chasing the wrong rodent if we’re looking for pirates to explain things. Sabotage is far more likely.”“How would you orchestrate it?” Caprica asked.Amaryllis sniffed. “First, I wouldn’t. I’m a loyal citizen of the Harpy Mountains. Second, I would ensure that I have at least one subordinate on each ship. There are explosives that can be triggered with chemical timers. One onboard each vessel, next to their main gravity engine, and that would be it.”Awen shook her head. “It wouldn’t be that easy. Some of those ships were military, right? They’d have backups. And they can still float with their balloons for a while. Maybe a large fire in each ship’s hold? With the right fuel, it could grow big enough faster than even a fire mage could control.”Caprica hummed while touching her chin. “I suppose that would do it. A fire would leave less evidence as well. Though, with harpies on board, I can’t imagine none of them making it to the ground.”“The sylph might be more accomplished flyers, but we can glide well enough,” Amaryllis agreed. “There should be lifeboats as well. And magic too.” she leaned back, eyes narrowing.“You have an idea?” Caprica asked.“Something of one, yes. If you were to leave a large group of nobles-with few supplies and no ships-stranded between here and the Harpy Mountains, where would you leave them?”“That’s not something I can answer without looking at a map. And even then, I don't know the region intimately, so I'm not sure I could give an accurate assessment,” Caprica said. “But, I can see the point you’re trying to make, and I think it’s a good one.”“Well, in any case, that’s where I would start looking first,” Amaryllis said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Six — Warhawk
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Six — Warhawk I stretched big, which meant that my arms reached as high as they could and my toes were stretched out until all of my limbs shook with tension. It was a nice thing to do just after waking up, though it did highlight an issue: I really missed pyjama pants. Nice, thick flannel pyjama pants. The sort that were all nice and warm and soft.There had to be someone selling that kind of thing in Goldenalden.Or maybe they weren’t invented yet?Would it be morally wrong of me to pretend to invent the pyjama bottom in another world? What would I even call them? Broccoli Bottoms? That sounded too silly.I trudged into the living room of our little corner of the inn and found Awen reading on the couch, already dressed for the day, and Amaryllis slumped out across the table as if she had just entirely run out of energy. “Good morning!” I said.“Hey Broc,” Awen said without looking away from the page she was reading. “Did you sleep well?”“Yup!” I declared. “How about you?”“The beds here are nice, but I kind of miss the Beaver Cleaver,” Awen said. “The noise helped me sleep at night.”“The noise?” I asked.Awen nodded. “The engines, mostly. I could hear them running from my room. It’s very quiet in here. You can barely tell that we’re in a city if you don’t look out the window.”“Enchantments,” Amaryllis said. She pushed herself off the table. “To keep things quiet. So, you’re finally awake?”I giggled. “You don’t look all that awake yourself, Amaryllis. What happened?”“Too many thoughts in my head, all at once,” Amaryllis said. “All competing for attention at the same time. It’s a burden, being this smart.”“I’m sure,” I agreed. “So what has your burdensomely smart brain figured out? What’s the plan for today?”“First,” Amaryllis said with imperious decorum. “You dress in something other than a night-gown. Second, we obtain breakfast. That should take care of all our temporary needs. Then, once that’s done and we’ve all cleaned up... I’m thinking of finding those harpies that arrived yesterday. They might know more about the diplomatic team sent for the summit, or they might have their own plans and reasons for being here, in which case it would be best to speak with them sooner rather than later.”“That sounds like a decent plan,” I said.Amaryllis nodded. “Of course it does. I came up with it.”“Well then, shall we enact the first stage of your glorious plan?” I asked.I ran back to my room and got dressed and ready for the day. Armour shined up, dress cleaned, and hair combed until it was more or less straight. When I rejoined my friends I found them just as ready as I was.We climbed up to the main inn floor and grabbed a quick bite to eat while Amaryllis detailed the next part of her master plan.“The harpy are staying at an inn nearby. I trust Caprica’s information that far, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they changed locations if they’re worried about trouble,” Amaryllis said.“Do you think they need to be worried?” I asked.“I think the three of us have discovered ample evidence that Goldenalden isn’t as safe as some sylph would have you believe it is,” Amaryllis said. "Also, the actual diplomatic mission did mysteriously vanish.”I shoved down a couple of spoonfuls of oatmeal (with some sweet, fruity syrup on it; it wasn’t maple syrup, but it was an acceptable, if inferior, substitute) then swallowed the glop down with a glass of juice. “Okay! Let’s head out then. The sooner we meet your harpy friends, the sooner we can see how we can help.”“I just hope that they’ll see things the way we do,” Amaryllis said.“What do you mean?” I asked as I got up.“Not all harpy will be as against the idea of a war as we are.”“It sounds like that’s the case with most places,” Awen said. “Sylphfree, the Trenten Flats, even the Harpy Mountains.”Amaryllis sniffed. “There will always be people who put their own good before that of others. Coincidentally, they’re never the ones who will be doing any of the dirty work if things go wrong.”We descended back to the ground floor, then out onto the busy streets. There were plenty of sylph out, pulling carts and hustling about despite the early hour.Amaryllis took the lead, walking as if she wanted everyone in front of her to see up her nostrils. Still, even with her head tilted back, it didn’t take long for her to guide us over to an inn a block away. It seemed, from outside, to be just a little bit less reputable than the Dewdrop Inn, though maybe I was being unfair by judging it from the street like that.We stepped into a teeny tiny lobby area, where a flustered sylph showed us into an elevator that creaked its way up to the topmost floor.The inn’s owner, a nice sylph by the name of Jordi, admitted that he had some harpy clients, but he seemed reluctant to tell us who they were. “Can you at least tell us if you served them breakfast yet?” I asked.“Huh? Well, I suppose there’s no harm in telling you that I haven’t yet. They came in just yesterday, I imagine they’ll be a bit weary from the flight over.”“Thanks!” I said. I made a point to order more juice and a small helping of second breakfast so that Jordi wouldn’t be insulted by us loitering around.It didn’t take long for the harpies to show up. Three young men, all a couple of years older than me, if I were to guess. They wore fine clothes, and walked with their beaks up and a bit of a strut.I recognized them. Or at least, I recognized the one in the middle of the flock.“Francis?” Amaryllis asked.The harpy stopped and turned to stare at Amaryllis, obvious surprise on his face for just a moment before he masked it under an ugly sneer. “Amaryllis Albatross,” he said as if the name were a curse. “How terribly unfortunate to find you here.”Francis’ buddies looked between him and Amaryllis, but it seemed like they weren’t going to stick their beaks into what was brewing.“What are you doing here?” Amaryllis asked.“Haven’t I asked you first?” he asked. He glanced past Amaryllis and at Awen and me. “You’re here with your pet bun and some wayward human, of all things. What auspicious company the Albatross keep.”Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.“Hi Francis!” I said with a wave.He glared. “It’s Francisco,” he said. “Francisco Hawk of the Hawk clan.”“Oh, sorry. It’s been a bit, and we only met for a few minutes,” I said. “My bad. Do you remember my name at all?”“I don’t care to remember the names of rabble,” he said.Amaryllis’ feathers puffed. “What are you doing here, Francis?”“You’d do well to call me by my name too, honourless Albatross,” he snapped.“Honourless?” Amaryllis boggled.I felt Awen lean close behind me. “Who is that?”“That’s Francisco Hawk,” I said. “He’s Amaryllis’ ex-fiancé. They don’t get along.” Awen’s eyes widened.“Yes!” Francisco said. He stomped his way closer to Amaryllis. “Honourless. Don’t you remember the last time we met? You said you would duel me, but you never showed.”“I... there was an attack on the ball! People died!” Amaryllis rebutted.“A few sylphs,” Francisco said with a dismissive wave. He spoke lower, tone pitched so that only those of us nearest to him would hear. “They’re the sort that are all likely to die in the coming war, anyway.”I gasped, and Francisco looked at me with obvious pleasure. How could someone say something like that?“So, you’re one of the fools who want to drag the whole continent into a war?” Amaryllis hissed. “I should have figured you would be an advocate for the stupidest option. You are as brain-dead as I feared, Hawk.”“Don’t pretend to be any brighter, Albatross,” he said. “You and yours will profit from this just as much as any other harpy clan will. Moreso, maybe, there are only women left in your clan, right? Hardly good for war. You’ll be left toiling back home while my comrades and I win honour and glory for our proud nation.”“You will do no such thing,” Amaryllis said. “We’re going to set things right at the summit. Put an end to this farce.”The harpy glared at Amaryllis, then his glare melted into a smile. “You can’t attend,” he said.“Pardon?”“I rescind your right to attend the summit,” he said, his nose tilting up.“Keep talking and I might rescind your right to breathe,” Amaryllis growled.I stepped up between them, mostly to restrain Amaryllis. The air around her smelled like ozone, which wasn’t a good sign. “What do you mean, Mister Hawk?”“I’m the senior diplomat here, aren’t I?” he asked.“Hardly,” Amaryllis said. “Our clans are equal.”“Ah, but I’m older, he said. “And I’m the first son of my clan. You’re just... the spare.”There was a snap-crack, and Francisco stumbled back, hand brushing at the front of his very nice coat where a burned streak now traced itself across the lapels. "That is it," Amaryllis seethed. "I'm going to fry you like a rotisserie chicken!"“Hey, hey, wait,” I said.“No, there’s no need for waiting,” Amaryllis said. She started to twist her arm, and I just knew she was going to pull out her knife.“A duel!” I said, loud enough that it made everyone pause. “You were promised a duel, right?” I asked Francisco. “Then why don’t we provide you with one? The winner gets to represent the harpy at the summit. It’ll be nice and, uh, official.”“To the death?” Francisco asked.“To yours, maybe,” Amaryllis said.“No no,” I said. “I’m sure the sylph have, uh, arenas or something for this kind of thing. They’ve got to have rules too. I’m sure it’s all very civilised. I hope.”Francisco glared at Amaryllis past my shoulder, then nodded. “This afternoon,” he said. “That should be long enough for you to prepare yourself for that kind of venture. You certainly seemed ready to claw at my throat just now.”“Fine then,” Amaryllis said. “This afternoon. I’ll send someone to you with the time and address.”Francisco’s eyes narrowed. “How about we make it more interesting then? My two companions here will want in on the fight too. You have two sycophants. It would be a shame if you lost them.” Francisco’s friends glanced at each other. They’d been very quiet so far, and I wasn’t sure they’d actually want anything to do with the fight.“Wow,” I said. “Did you rehearse how to sound like a cheap villain in front of the mirror?” I asked.Francisco sniffed. “Is that a no? Your animal half is showing, cowardly little bunny.”“We’ll do it,” Awen said. “I really don’t mind.”Francisco glared some more, but then he snapped his talons and walked off with his friends, leaving us behind without so much as a word.“Rude,” I muttered under my breath. Then I turned to my friends, specifically Amaryllis. “What was that?”She huffed the huff of someone who didn’t want to talk about it. “He gets under my feathers.”“You almost attacked him. You did attack him. Amaryllis, that could have led to a fight!”“I wanted it to, obviously,” she said.I pouted at her. “We could have gotten hurt. That wasn’t very smart, I don’t think. And you’re supposed to be the one that’s clever about these kinds of things.”Amaryllis crossed her arms. “Like I said. I dislike him.”I shook my head. “And Awen, why did you escalate?”Awen hesitated a moment before answering. “Ah, well, it was to our advantage?”“Our advantage?” I asked.“They’re weaker than we are. Their levels are the same, but their classes aren’t as good, and they don’t carry themselves like people who know how to fight. And if we do fight with them, and win, then I think the sylph here might respect us a bit more? They’re very martial, you know, so that kind of thing probably impresses them a lot.”“That’s... fine,” I said. “How are we going to find a place for a duel on such short notice?”“Oh, that part is easy,” Amaryllis said. “We go and bother Caprica. She’ll want us to win anyway, so I can’t foresee her not stacking the deck in our favor.”“We’re not going to cheat,” I said.“No no, not cheating, just... ensuring an even playing field,” Amaryllis said. “Francisco doesn’t know how to fight fairly. Trust me?”I crossed my own arms. “Fine,” I said. “But I still very much don’t like any of this.”“I know,” Amaryllis said. “You can pout about it for the rest of the day, as long as we win.”“I think I need a hug.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Political Ramblings and Rumblings
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Seven — Political Ramblings and Rumblings Our first step-if we really were going to duel Francisco and his buddies-was to find Caprica.The princess would know a lot more about the local duelling scene and all the laws and such surrounding that kind of thing. Amaryllis probably knew her fair share too, but we didn’t know if the rules from the Harpy Mountains would apply in Slyphfree, and Amaryllis insisted on making sure that it was a proper duel, not just a brawl.I... wasn’t sure what to think about things as they were.On the one hand, Francisco was about as rude as a person could be. On the other, that wasn't enough to make me want to fight him.I think that Awen caught on to my current mood. She bumped shoulders with me as we walked over to the palace. “Isn’t this the same as that tournament you participated in, the one in Rosenbell?” she asked.I shrugged. “I guess it’s not all that different. Will it be all three of us against all three of them?”“I hope not,” Amaryllis said. “I want to face off against Francisco all on my own.”She sounded just a pinch too bloodthirsty there. I patted her on the back. “I know you’re angry at him, but I think you might be, ah, overreacting just a little, teeny tiny bit? He’s rude, sure, but rudeness shouldn’t be answered with violence.”“And how would you respond to the sort of rudeness that might very well end with thousands of lives lost to bolster a puffed up hawk’s ego?” Amaryllis asked.“Well, first I’d write a very strongly worded letter to Francisco’s mom.”Awen choked on nothing, then giggled between coughs. “Broccoli! You can’t!”“Why not?” I asked. “He’s not that old, so maybe his parents still have time to teach him some manners. And besides, if I was Francisco’s mom, I’d want to know if my son was about to start a war just to make himself feel more important. Obviously he didn’t get enough hugs growing up, but there’s always time to rectify that kind of misstep.”“That’s... actually a fantastic idea,” Amaryllis said.I blinked. “It is?” I was pretty much positive she was going to dismiss the idea out of hand.“Oh, yes. A public letter, sent to the capital and to Fort Sylphrot, denouncing Fransico’s behaviour and childish actions and the threat they both pose to the nation as a whole. Maybe a few public criers to read it aloud on street corners.”“That’s sounding a lot more like blackmail than what I had in mind,” I said.“Yes. I took your idea and improved it.”“I don’t know if I’d call that an improvement at all.”Awen giggled some more. “But can you imagine his face when he finds out?” she asked.I pouted at her too. “You have a mean streak in you too,” I said.Awen shook her head, but she didn’t quite deny it. “I just think that... ah, I guess there’s more than one way to fight someone. If we lose here, Broccoli, then a lot of others will be losing too. We’re having fun, and it’s another big adventure, but the stakes are pretty high. Whether you want it or not, Francisco is on the other side.” She crossed her arms, smile dying off as we walked into the shadow cast by a tall mansion-like home right next to the road. “My mom... wasn’t a very nice person, but she did make sure that I learned a few things.”“What sorts of things?” I asked.“I didn’t like the lessons,” she said. “So I can’t say I took them to heart. But I did listen. Mostly she talked a lot about how a woman should defeat her opponents and such. I think I like shooting people with a crossbow more than using the methods she spoke about. It’s more honest.”Amaryllis snorted. “Yes, some people do prefer intrigue and rumours over a proper talon-on-talon fight. The Albatrosses aren’t like that though.”I didn’t say it aloud, because I think I’d made my point clear often enough already, but I preferred it when people just talked through all of their problems and acted in a way that would mean that everyone would be happy or at least satisfied by the end of the day. That wasn’t something that was easy to do though.“Well, whatever,” I finally said. There wasn’t much to say, really. We just had to do our best and hope that it was enough and that maybe we set an example.I didn’t have much time to ponder on that since we arrived at the palace. Amaryllis stepped up to the guards by the front gate, bowed shallowly, then asked them to send a message to Princess Caprica on our behalf.The guard bowed back, the big feathery thing atop his helm bobbing with the motion before he spun around sharp-like and walked into the nearby gatehouse. I saw a young sylph fly off towards the palace a moment later, no doubt a messenger.It only took a minute or two before the messenger sylph returned and relayed whatever news he had to the guard.“The Princess is willing to entertain you,” the guard said. “She is waiting in the west garden.” The sylph flagged down a pair of guards who were within the palace walls, and they quickly flashed a few gestures at each other. Mostly the guard just asked them to keep an eye on us while guiding us to the garden where Caprica was waiting.The garden turned out to be one of those glass-walled greenhouses along the outer perimeter of the palace. There was a gazebo built into the side of the enclosure where Caprica and another young woman were sitting down.The princess was in her usual dress-uniform like outfit, though she had added a sash today and had a few ribbons in her hair. The girl next to her was half a head shorter, and wore a more princess-y outfit. A dress with bows on the hips and front, coloured a soft lavender covered in embroidered flowers that let her blend in with the wall of greenery behind her.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.There were two guards standing by the entrance of the greenhouse. They opened the door for us, and we stepped in eagerly.I didn’t realise how chilly it was outside until I was smacked in the face by the warmth inside the greenhouse. It was a humid, muggy sort of warmth, filled with a whole host of pleasant, flowery smells that changed as we headed over to the gazebo.“Captain Bunch, Lady Amaryllis, Lady Bristlecone,” Caprica said without standing. The princess next to her bounced to her feet and curtsied.The reason Caprica didn’t rise became obvious when a big pile of orange fluff jumped off her lap and onto the table in the centre of the gazebo.“Orange!” I cheered. “This is where you were hiding?”Orange sat, her chest puffed out with obvious pride. She had a few ghostly ribbons tied next to her head, and her fur looked extra soft. By the looks of her she had been properly pampered recently.I scritched her on the head, then under the chin for good measure.“Yes, Orange has been a wonderful guest overnight,” Caprica said.“She’s very handsome,” the other princess replied.“Ah, where are my manners,” Caprica said as she stood and brushed her lap clean of ghostly kitty hair. Or she tried. Her hands just moved right through the fur which refused to leave her pants. “Everyone, this is my little sister Gabrielle. Gabrielle, these are the... explorers and emissaries I spoke of.”Gabrielle curtsied again, and my friends and I did the same in return, though maybe with a bit less grace. “It’s a pleasure,” she said. “Capri rarely makes new friends, so it’s really nice of you to spend time with her.”“Gabby!” Caprica hissed. “Don’t spread such vile lies.”Gabrielle apologised, but it was evident that she wasn’t being sincere with her apology.Caprica rolled her eyes, then gestured to the table. “Sit? I’m sure you’re not just here to pick up Lady Orange.”“Lady Orange?” I asked as I took a seat. Orange looked at me as if to say ‘are you going to question that?’Caprica blushed, but just faintly. “She seems quite lady-like,” she said. “And a spirit cat is a rare being in these parts.”“I guess. Technically she’s an admiral, but I don’t know if that makes her a lady. Maybe it should be Sir Orange?” I asked. “How did you get those bows on her, by the way.” I poked at the bows, but my fingers just slid right through them.“Oh, that was the court wizard,” Gabrielle said. “He’s a master illusionist. They’re not real bows. I think they’re cute.”I nodded, in full agreement.“So, what brings you here?” Caprica asked. “And would you like some tea while we talk, or is it a little more urgent?”“It’s certainly delicate, and not something we can afford to wait on for too long,” Amaryllis said. “But I don’t think it’s quite urgent.”“Do tell,” Caprica said. She gestured to the side, and I almost jumped when a maid bowed back and hurried off. I hadn’t seen the maid at all. Did they have a skill that made them sneaky?Amaryllis shifted in her seat. “We met with the harpies that arrived last night. The meeting... could have gone better. Though, honestly, with the quality of the harpy in question, I doubt it.”“They’re adversarial?” Caprica asked.“You could say that,” Amaryllis said. “Though that would make it an understatement. Francisco Hawk, of the illustrious, boisterous, and full of itself Hawk clan. They’re very much on the pro-war side of things. They want to try and match arms with the sylph, despite all common sense saying that it’s a poor idea.”Caprica frowned. “That’s unfortunate. Who has more seniority between yourself and this Francisco and his companions?”“He does, though only barely,” Amaryllis said. “I managed to maneuver things so that we would duel for the right to represent the Harpy Mountains.”“Truly?” Caprica asked.I glanced at Amaryllis. ‘Maneuver’ was a big word to describe what had happened.“Yes. Which is why we’re here. We want this to be a proper duel, not some street brawl. Francisco is the sort who would easily ignore a deal made. Even one that was won in a duel. I think the only way to make him keep his word is to put too much pressure on him for him to weasel his way out.”Caprica considered it for a moment, then nodded. “We’ll arrange something, then. When is this duel supposed to take place?”“This afternoon,” Amaryllis said.“You’re certainly not giving us much time to prepare,” Caprica said. “Still, I think we can figure something out.”“Can I come? To watch,” Gabrielle said.Caprica glanced at her sister, considered it, then nodded. “Sure.”Gabrielle blinked. “Wait, really?”“Oh yes. You being present will attract all sorts of attention,” Caprica said. “Half the available suitors in the city will rush to attend as well. It’ll make up for the lack of time to set up something proper. And have rumours spread.”“Capri!” Gabrielle said, her cheeks were glowing. “You can’t just use me like that.”“You’re the one that wanted to attend,” Caprica said. “You'll be able to enjoy yourself, leave the palace for a moment, and I won’t have to work as hard to get a crowd of nobles to oversee the happenings. Two harpies with one stone. Ah... forgive the expression.”Amaryllis waved it off. “It’s fine. We have a few similarly uncouth expressions ourselves.”“I can imagine,” Caprica said. “So, do you think you’ll win this duel? I would hardly appreciate backing a loser.”“Oh, don’t worry on our account,” Amaryllis said. “In fact, this will just be a lot of fun, I think.”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Eight — You've Gotta Right to Your Fights
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Eight — You've Gotta Right to Your Fights I was expecting it to take a few hours to set up an arena and have someone send an invitation to Francisco. My expectations didn’t account for Caprica being really good at leveraging her princess-ness to get others to do the work for us.A few guards and messengers were dispatched across the city, zipping away on fleet wings to prepare things for our savagery.We, in the meantime, finished our tea. It was a very nice flowery tea that tasted a bit like green tea, but significantly sweeter. “I can’t believe you’re going to be in a duel,” Gabrielle said. She was right on the edge of her seat, feet swinging with barely restrained energy under the table. “That’s so cool!”“It’s less amusing when the person you have to fight is as loathsome as Fransisco,” Amaryllis said.“You don’t like him?” Gabrielle asked.Amaryllis sniffed. “I dare say few people do.”That was a bit mean, but I didn’t think I’d be changing Amaryllis’ way of seeing people between then and the time the duel started.“What did he do?” Gabrielle asked. She was genuinely curious, and only stopped leaning forwards when Orange decided that Gabrielle-being the centre of attention at the moment-had the nicest lap to sit upon.“He’s an uncouth, poorly educated, rude fool who likes sticking his beak where no one wants it stuck,” Amaryllis said.“He’s her ex-fiance,” I whispered across the table. “They don’t get along.”Gabrielle raised the hand that wasn’t petting Orange to her mouth to stifle a gasp. “An arranged marriage.”“Deranged, more like,” Amaryllis muttered.“We’re quite fortunate in that regard,” Caprica said. “While I suppose father could technically arrange something, I don’t think he’d dare.”“The king wouldn’t dare arrange a marriage?” Awen asked.Caprica grinned and Gabrielle giggled. “Mother would skin him. Besides, father broke with tradition when he married mother.”“How’s that?” I asked.“She was a paladin. A non-noble paladin. Better than a commoner, in the eyes of the nobility, but not by much,” Caprica said.Gabrielle nodded, entirely enthusiastic. “They married for love; it’s super romantic. Apparently father tried really hard to impress her by becoming a good fighter, and she just kept beating him in every spar. Mother’s very proud of her win record against him, and father’s face turns very red whenever she starts talking about it.”“That’s really cute,” I said.Caprica chuckled. “I suppose it is. In any case, I think if father tried to arrange a marriage for any one of his children he’d have to deal with an entire cohort of angry princesses and a very irate queen.”A maid slid into the room and bowed next to Caprica to whisper something into her ear. She nodded, then patted down the front of her pants as she stood. “I think it’s time for us to get going. There’s a carriage waiting for us out front.”“Already?” I asked.“It would be best to arrive early, I think,” Caprica said. “That way you can have more time to inspect the grounds and perhaps stretch before you have to exert yourselves.”We gathered up our things and headed out of the greenhouse. The cold outside stung at my face for a moment. I wasn’t expecting it to get colder while we were inside. The temperature around Goldenalden seemed to vary a lot, but it was always hovering between cool and chilly. It probably had something to do with the altitude and all the mountains around us messing with the wind.We boarded a nice carriage, Gabrielle, Orange and Caprica to one side, my friends and I on the other. Then we were off.“The Calcifer Spood Memorial Arena isn’t far from here,” Caprica said. “It’s not the most prestigious location for a duel, but it’s a respectable one. The arena is open at all reasonable hours, and there are quite a few young nobles who hang around either to watch others fight, or to spar.”“Is duelling a big thing?” I asked.“More or less? It’s one of the less civilised ways of resolving a conflict, but with stringent rules in place and healers on site, it’s uncommon for someone to die, and it is a much faster way to resolve some petty arguments than any legal proceedings.”“Also, it’s more fun,” Gabrielle gushed. “I imagine a lot of dashing lords go there to fight for their honour when they are insulted, or if a lady they’re fond of has been insulted.”Caprica rolled her eyes. “Yes, I suppose there’s that. Bastion always said that it was less about honour and more about hormones and shortsightedness. I never spent any time around duelling clubs or the like.”“I think the situation is similar in the Harpy Mountains,” Amaryllis said. “It’s a way for younger lords to blow off steam, impress each other, and not cause a ruckus in less-appropriate venues.”It didn’t take long before the carriage rattled to a stop, and a sylph guardsman opened the door for us.There were a lot more guards around than when Caprica headed out. Was it because there were two princesses out at the same time, or was it because Gabrielle was different? I had the impression that she didn’t leave the house as much.When Gabrielle sniffled, a maid sylph was instantly by her side, wrapping a thick woolly shawl over her shoulders.The Calcifer Spood Memorial Arena was a grand building. It squatted amidst buildings that rose above it, an impressively broad edifice of sculpted, weather-worn stone, whose wide entrance beckoned anyone to enter and beat people up.There were other carriages around, but mostly the sylph around the arena seemed to be on foot. They were noble lords and ladies, young ones mostly. They were also all staring our way.“We’re the centre of attention.” I said.“That’s hardly something unusual for you,” Amaryllis said.“I’m not an attention-seeker... am I?” I asked.Amaryllis huffed, but she did bump into my shoulder as if to say she was just joking. “It’s likely the carriage. And maybe they recognize the princesses.”“The crest does lack some subtlety,” Caprica said with a tilt of her head towards the carriage. There was a big crest on the door that I hadn’t really paid much attention to.The two or three squads of guards were likely not helping much either.We started into the building. The entranceway didn’t have a door, instead it was a wide opening under an arch. A large brazier sat just within, crackling with fire that warmed us up as we approached.I glanced over my shoulder as we moved in, and couldn’t help but notice all the whispering from the people outside. A number of nobles were moving from restaurants and shops across the street towards the arena. There was a growing sense of excitement filling the air, as if everyone suddenly expected something grand to happen.A sylph stood on the other side of the brazier, looking as though he were trying very hard to not look as though he’d just run over in a hurry. He bowed at the waist. “Princess Caprica, Princess Gabrielle, and of course your lovely companions. My name is Augustus Spood. I welcome you to my grandfather’s arena. Anything you desire, I shall do my best to provide for you.”You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.Caprica bowed back, a much shallower bow, but one that had the sylph standing straighter. “Hello, Lord Spood. I was hoping I could borrow one of your arenas? My companions here were issued a challenge, and we intend to see it through.”“I would be honoured,” he said. “We have one of the safest arenas in all of Goldenalden, as you likely well know. I can assure that we will keep your friends healthy and hale, regardless of the outcome of any spar or duel. Did you wish to use one of the smaller, more private arenas? I can have the area cleared of everyone but the judge and medical staff.”Caprica glanced our way. “How certain are you of being able to defeat Hawk?”“Very,” Amaryllis said. “He might have a decent class, but he has no real experience, and I suspect we at the very least match his level, if we don’t surpass it outright.”Caprica nodded as she turned back to Augustus Spood. “In that case, having more witnesses wouldn’t go amiss.”“We can certainly arrange that,” Lord Spood said with a genial smile. “Might I have the details of this duel?”They spoke quietly as we started to make our way down one of the corridors that seemed to bisect the building, then up a wide staircase. Soon we were crossing spaces where we could see little arenas below. Sand-filled squares with a row or two of seats far above, none bigger than a wrestling ring.I didn’t pay much attention to the conversation, instead turning my focus inwards. I was about to get into a fight. It didn’t feel like it would be a very challenging one, but... still. I asked Mister Menu to display my skills, just in case.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
12
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
4
Age
16
Health
150
Stamina
155
Mana
145
Resilience
65
Flexibility
80
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 04%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 100%
Gardening
D — 37%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
C — 03%
Mad Millinery
D — 89%
Proportion Distortion
D — 14%
General Skills
Insight
C — 97%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 17%
Archeology
D — 00%
Friendmaking
C — 75%
Matchmaking
D — 64%
Hugging Proficiency
E — 48%
Captaining
E — 49%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
1
Wonderlander Skill Points
3
General Skill Points
3
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
3
I had improved a little bit, but it felt like it wasn’t all that much. There was a natural slow-down as my skills took longer to improve, of course, but also I hadn’t done any real focused practice in a while. At the rate I was going, it was going to take a long time before I hit any big milestone again.I still had some free skill-slots for my General Skills too. Those weren’t, surprisingly, filling up with random skills. I’d have to ask Amaryllis to see if that was normal or not. I really, really had to find a chivalry-based skill so that I could turn Adorable into Dork Knight.“This is the main arena, ladies,” Augustus Spood said with a grand gesture to the side.The main arena was about the size of a badminton court, with a floor covered in fine sand, and lit by hanging chandeliers filled with glowing crystals that filled the room with blue and yellow and orange light.Three rows of seats circled the room about a metre off the ground, with a shimmering barrier between the crowds and the floor. Likely that was in case some spell went off and flew towards the witnesses.“I suspect this will do just fine,” Caprica said. “Lord Spood, do you have a way to inform people of an upcoming... small event? Ah, and a place where my companions can be filled in on the rules of a proper gentleperson’s duel?”“Certainly,” he said. Then he glanced past our group and guards and to the end of the corridor.We followed his gaze.I hadn’t expected Francisco to show up so soon. Did he know we’d be here?For that matter, I didn’t expect him to show up with new friends. Two sylphs and a human, all in nice but well-worn armour, and all looking very much out of place amongst so many nobles.I had a sinking feeling in my tummy as I saw the grin Francisco wore.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Say Hello to My Little Friends
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Say Hello to My Little Friends “Who are your friends?” Amaryllis asked. She was eyeing the three new figures a step behind Francisco and his two buddies.The human walked with a bit of a hunch, hands in his pockets. The sylph to his left had his head up high, as if daring anyone to look down on him, and the other sylph was glancing all over the place, as if he was expecting something to jump out from the shadows at any moment.“Hello, lady Amaryllis,” Francisco said with dripping meanness in his tone. “It seems that you really have forgotten every last aspect of decorum and behaviour. Did no one ever teach you to greet people when you meet them?”“People, yes,” Amaryllis. “So will you answer the question?”The harpy’s face reddened at the cheeks and his feathers puffed out, just a little, before he gathered himself. “These three new friends of mine are some very kind fellows I met at a tavern. They heard of my plight, having to fight someone of your repute, and bravely decided to step up so that I might avoid soiling my feathers in your presence.”“You mean to say that you were too cowardly to fight me and my friends head on, so you hired three mercenaries to fight in your place?” Amaryllis asked.I glanced back at Caprica and Augustus. “Can he do that?” I whispered.Augustus Spood bowed his head. “If the gentleman, ah, wishes to have someone fight in his stead, then he can elect someone to do so. It isn’t entirely uncommon. It’s more often than not used by a lady of the court who doesn’t have skills as a fighter. She might employ a champion to fight in her stead. On occasion an older noble, past their prime, might also elect a champion. Usually these would be a member of their family, but there are no laws against merely hiring an outsider.”“But a young fighter designating a champion in their stead is seen as cowardice,” Caprica said. “Or at least as very distasteful.”Augustus stepped up, placing himself between Amaryllis and Francisco. “Greetings everyone,” he said with practiced geniality. “My name is Augustus, I’ll be the person in charge of today’s duel. Lord Hawk, from what I overheard, you will be having these three gentlemen fighting in your stead?”“Yes, yes I will,” Francisco said. “What about you, Amaryllis, will you be fighting yourself? You always did like to brag and strut with your chest puffed out. Or maybe you’ll send someone else in? That little sylph girl behind you, maybe?” he chuckled, and his friends joined in.I followed his gaze and saw that Gabrielle was blinking back at him, completely confused.Augustus cleared his throat. He was still smiling, but there was a vein visible along the line of his neck. “Lord Hawk, I believe I speak for every sylph when I say that if you could avoid involving her royal highness in your affairs, it would be appreciated.”“Ah,” Francisco said. I think he noticed all the guards nearby, many of whom were giving him looks and decided to backpedal. “A pleasure to meet you, your highness, please forgive my earlier impertinence. The presence of this barbarian brings out the worst in me.”“Um,” Gabrielle hesitated before dropping into a quick, shallow curtsy. “It’s fine? I wasn’t really paying you much attention. I’m really just here to see my sister’s friends fight.”“Your sister’s friends?” Francisco mused. “Ah, perhaps after our bout I will remain here to observe that fight.”“But.. but that’s the fight you were supposed to be in?” Gabrielle asked.I eyed Gabrielle. She sounded innocent. A bit too innocent.“Right, big sister Caprica?” Gabrielle asked. She blinked at Caprica with big, wet eyes, and I could imagine her lower lip trembling even if it wasn’t.Gabrielle was a very tricky little sister, it seemed.“That’s right, Gabi,” Caprica said. “We’re here to watch Lady Amaryllis, Lady Bristlecone, and Captain Bunch put up a good fight.”“On that note,” Augustus said. “Lady Amaryllis, did you intend to fight yourself?”“We have some royal guardsmen here who I am certain would be honoured to be your champions,” Caprica added. “We even have a paladin or two. Some are in their fourth tier.”Francisco was looking a bit pale.“I appreciate the gesture,” Amaryllis said. “But I am no coward. I intend to win based on my own merits. As for my companions, they can decide for themselves. Besides, if we use the sylph military to win this battle, then anyone at the summit could turn around and accuse us of being supported directly by Sylphfree. It would discredit us.”I glanced over to the three guys we’d have to fight.Jacob Hayer, Bladesinger, level 15That was the sylph who had been looking all over the place earlier. Now his attention was mostly split between staring at the back of Francisco’s head and the two princesses.Malter Roggen, Frozen Batterer, level 14That was the human. He was staring past everyone, looking like he was entirely bored with everything.Next to him, the last of the sylph mercenaries looked pretty darned conflicted. I had the impression he just didn’t want to be there anymore, but he didn’t have a choice about it.Flein Bocking, Hardened, level 16All three were a few levels above my friends and I, and that was just what I could see from their primary classes. It was possible that all three had a second class that was at max level. I’d have to see if Amaryllis could tell me more about them.I snapped my attention back on the conversation as Augustus called someone over from the sides, a young aide who moved over to the mercenaries and started to guide them away. Meanwhile, Augustus turned towards my friends and I. “Please, allow me to escort you to the preparation area.”I waved Caprica and Gabrielle good-bye, the younger of the two giving us a quick wave in return as she called out, “Good luck!”“Have any of you participated in this sort of duel before?” Augustus asked as we headed down a corridor, then through a side-door and down a flight of stairs. The decorations stopped at the door, and everything became a lot more functional and austere.This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.He glanced back and took in our shaking heads.“Well then, let me explain the basics. In order to keep things somewhat fair the fights-all one-on-one competitions of prowess-will be chosen based on drawn lots. The fight will start when the arena glows red. The moment the arena glows red again, you must stop.”“Glows red?” Awen asked.He nodded. “You’ll understand when you see it. The referee will demonstrate in either case. There are enchantments that light up if anyone in their vicinity is gravely injured, knocked unconscious, or otherwise incapacitated. The referee should be treated as a god of their domain. What they say is sacrosanct and should not be defied.”“Ah, alright,” I said. This was starting to sound pretty serious.“The weapons you pick must be chosen from our armoury. These will be enchanted to make them non-lethal. That does not mean that they cannot cause harm, only that they will blunt any great impact, and will not pierce or cut into flesh the way a normal weapon would,” Augustus said.The stairs ended, and we started down a long corridor that ended at a sharp angle. Augustus pointed to a door to our left before he opened it. He didn’t step in though. “This is the waiting room. You can see the arena through that glass there. There are barriers in place to prevent magics from harming the room, and the rest of the arena as well.”“The weapons are all enchanted not to hurt people, right? What about magic?” I asked. I didn’t really have much in terms of offensive magic, but Awen had her glass magic, and Amaryllis had electricity and puppeteering and probably a few other magical tricks hidden away in her sleeves too.Augustus sighed. “Unfortunately, stopping someone from using magic isn’t as simple as blunting a weapon. We ask that anyone fighting a duel keep in mind that there’s no honour in killing an opponent in this arena. If we see that a mage is going too far, there are enchantments in place that can disrupt the flow of mana. We leave those off until they are absolutely needed, though.”“Alright,” I said.Augustus nodded. “The referee will go over the rules again before the duel starts, don’t worry.”“Thanks, Mister Augustus,” Awen said. “You’re very kind.”“Merely doing my job, Lady Bristlecone,” he said. We continued down the corridor, around the bend, and stopped before a door that was closed. It had a small light bulb-like thing above it that was currently off. Reaching up, Augustus flicked a switch next to the door and the light started to glow a magical blueish hue. “And this is the armoury. Take whatever you need. There are pieces of armour at the back as well. I will be waiting out here for your return.”“Thanks,” I said.The room was well lit, a few hanging lanterns casting an orange-yellow glow across rows of racks and shelves laden with hundreds of weapons. The next room over, past an archway in the room we were in, had armour on dummies and on more shelves. Enough to equip three dozen warriors and then some.“Whoa,” I said as I reached over and picked up a sword larger than I was. Or I tried to. It was way, way too heavy.At least the edges on it weren’t sharpened. I couldn’t imagine that helping too much if someone took a swing at me with it, though.“Alright,” Amaryllis said. “We... don’t exactly have an advantageous situation here. Three opponents with abilities we can only guess at, all above our levels, and on an even playing field.”“It’s going to be a tough fight,” I said. “But we’ll do our best, right?”“Awa, we don’t need to do our best,” Awen said. “We need to win. This is important, Broccoli. We need, um, strategy more than we need optimism, I think.”“Oh, right.”Awen turned to Amaryllis. “What’s our strategy?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Of course. With great intelligence comes great responsibility.” I chose not to comment. “Let’s see. The Frozen Batterer is likely an ice mage. His armour was lighter than most front-line combatant sorts. If I’m against him, I’ll try to overwhelm him. Ice magic tends to be slow to act. Awen... I’m afraid you’re not in the best position in any fight here.”“I need equipment, and time,” Awen said. “I’m not really much of a fighter at all, really.”“You’re great,” I said.She shook her head. “I’m a mechanic first. It’s okay not to be good at fighting, I think. You don’t need to worry about me though, I have a few tricks that might work.” She reached over to one of the racks, then pulled a heavy shield from it.“Right,” Amaryllis said. “The Bladesinger is a somewhat common sylph class. High mobility, focused on swords. He’s going to be fast, and he’s going to have a lot of tricks. Keep your distance and pelt him with magic. Broccoli, I’m sure you could manage to keep away and fling some fire at him.”“Uh, alright,” I said.“The last is a mystery, and the highest levelled opponent we have to face. I’d guess he’s more of a defensive expert, but I can’t say for certain. Just... try to hit hard.”Amaryllis glanced around, then nodded to herself before moving to a wall-mounted rack covered in knives and daggers and other short pointy things.I looked around myself. There were so many weapons, but I didn’t have a knack for any of them. I slid over to the next side, and grinned at a wall covered in helmets. I swept one right off the topmost rack. A big gladiator’s helmet, with a metal lion’s face on the front, and it had a furry ruff on the top and back, with a few holes that my ears could poke through.That didn’t leave me with any weapons though.That was, until I spotted something in the corner. “Perfect!”“What’s perf— oh please, Broccoli, no.”“Broccoli yes!” I said.When we left the room, all kitted out, Augustus was waiting for us, as promised. He stared at the weapon I had slung over a shoulder, and the dustpan I held in my other hand. “Captain, is that our broom?”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety — Don't Cut Yourself On All These Edges
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety — Don't Cut Yourself On All These Edges The worst part of getting into any sort of tournament-y fight, I was discovering, was the waiting.Sure, this was only my second time experiencing this, but still. Having to wait in a little room while watching sylph fill the stadium seats above wasn’t all that fun, not while waiting for stuff that was out of our control.I was mostly waiting for Augustus to return with my broom and dustpan. He applauded my choice in non-standard weapons, then refused to allow me to take anything unenchanted into the arena because that would infringe upon his honour or something.“They’ve arrived,” Amaryllis said. She was staring out the window and across the arena, eyes narrowed to see into the darkened room just like ours on the other side.I shifted over to her side and looked across too. I could just make out the three mercenaries we’d have to fight milling around. “Looks like it,” I said. “Any last-minute strategies?”“None that I can think of,” Amaryllis said. “I know you have a tendency to hoard points on occasion, and that’s fine, but now would be a good time for even a small boost in your combat ability. This one fight might very well determine the entire war.”“Right,” I said.I only had one Cinnamon Bun skill point to spend. It was meant to get my Cleaning magic up a rank, but Amaryllis was right.Congratulations! Way of the Mystic Bun is now Rank C!Way of the Mystic BunRank C — 00%You have taken your first big hop on the path of the Mystic Bun, combining devastating magic-laced physical attacks with incredible mobility. You may now expend your own mana to manipulate an enemy’s own.I blinked. What did that even mean?“I’ve upgraded the only skill I really can,” I said. “I, uh, don't know if it’ll help all that much.”“Which one?” Amaryllis asked.But before I could get her to give me some advice, the door at the back of the room opened, and Augustus stepped in. He had my broom and dustpan! “Ladies, Captain,” he said before placing the broom and dustpan to the side. “The hour is upon us now. The referee will be calling out your name as it is picked out of a hat. The hat is enchanted to prevent tampering, so no worries.”“Someone tampered with the hat before?” Amaryllis asked.“We used to use a goblet,” Augustus said. “Very dramatic, but alas, not tamper-proof. Now, there are quite a few faces out there, but, as I always suggest, just don’t pay them any mind. Do your best and I’m sure you’ll come out on top!”I nodded, then slapped the lion-faced helmet I’d picked up onto my head. It took some wiggling to get my ears to poke out from the right spots, but I managed.New Skill Acquired: Pit FightingRank: E“How do I look?” I asked.“Like some sort of hideous lion-rabbit crossbreed,” Amaryllis said.I turned my head this way and that. The helmet was acceptably snug, tight without being too tight. It did limit my range of vision a little bit, but not enough that I thought it would really impact me mid-fight.Augustus left us while I was getting my helmet on. I sighed, picked up my weapons, then put them back down. “Okay, no, before we head out, we should do buffs.”“Do you have a tea set?” Amaryllis asked.“No, but I have arms,” I said. I raised them. “Hugs?”Amaryllis made a show of being huffy, but we were just between friends, so there was no heat in the protests. Awen, on the other hand, giggled and wrapped her arms around us both to make it an even better hug.I did my best to snuggle my friends, which was hard given the helmet. Maybe if I had practised more, my hugging skill would be a bit better. I regretted not hugging people more. But that regret wouldn’t stop me from making the change I needed to become a better hugger.Augustus’s voice snapped us out of the hug, and we all glanced over to the arena where the sylph was talking up to the crowd, his voice amplified by a microphone-like device hanging from the ceiling by a long wire.“-And our first combatants for the day will be... Representing Lord Francisco Hawk... Jacob Hayer.”The door to the far room opened, and one of the sylph stepped out. He had three swords held by their middle in each hand. He shifted his shoulders as he took in the crowd, then let his wings buzz behind him. One of them wasn’t moving as much as the other. An injury?“Representing Lady Amaryllis Albatross... Lady Awen Bristlecone.”Awen ‘eeped’ and jumped on the spot. So I gave her a bonus squeeze to help with her nerves. “Kick his butt, Awen.”Awen nodded. “I’ll do my best,” she said. She looked really determined as she picked up her big shield and moved towards the door. “Ah, I kind of regret not practising a bit more,” she said.“I think I regret that too,” I said. “But we can’t worry about that now. Do your best, Awen!”Awen smiled back. “I will,” she said before stepping out into the arena. Awen glanced up for just a moment before refocusing on her opponent.Augustus gestured to either end of the arena, and Awen and Jacob moved into two squares marked out on the sandy ground. A sylph referee in a padded leather outfit stepped into the middle of the arena and raised a bright red kerchief. “Once this hits the ground, you begin. No moves that are meant to kill outright. This is a gentleman’s and gentlewomen’s duel; I’ll have no barbarism in my arena. If I call a stop, you stop, if I tell you to back off, you back off, and if I tell you to jump on one leg and sing lullabies, you’ll do that too, am I understood?”Awen and her opponent both nodded.“Good.” The referee made a show of looking around. “The arena is cleared. There is no magic in the air. Testing the magelights now.”The entire arena turned red for a moment as the lights above shut off and a bunch of red lights came on. It was bright enough that it didn’t really interfere with anyone’s vision.“If you see those lights come on again, you stop,” the referee said. He turned to Jacob. “Repeat my instructions about the lights,” he said.Jacob cleared his throat, then repeated them. The referee turned to Awen next.“Awa? Oh, um, if the lights turn red, I have to stop.”“That’s right,” the referee said. “I take my job seriously, and I expect you both to do the same. This will be an honourable fight or I’ll make it one, and no one wants that. Now, are both combatants ready?”The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Awen and Jacob nodded, and they both shifted in their squares. Awen brought her shield up before her. It was big enough that she was almost entirely hidden behind it. I didn’t know what her plan was, but I hoped that it was good.“Dropping the kerchief now,” the referee said.The red piece of cloth fluttered in the air for just a moment before touching down on the sand.There wasn’t quite an explosive start to the fight. Awen just stepped forwards slowly and carefully, her right hand held close to her side.Jacob stepped to the side, then flung all six of the swords he was carrying into the air.Then he started to sing.It was just a single pure note at first, but it slowly turned into another, more like a dirge than a proper song, really. The interesting thing was the way the song interacted with his swords. They hung suspended in midair, shivering as if they were bells that had just been struck.“Oh, that’s neat. Neat and really not great for Awen,” I said.The song stopped for just a moment as Jacob let out a piercing whistle.Two of the swords shot forwards.Awen bent her shield, and the first sword struck it and ricocheted off to the side, stabbing into the sandy ground behind her. The second looked like it was going to smack her, but at the last moment she reached out with a bare hand and... and the sword scraped against her hand with a crystalline ringing.It sounded as if someone had just pressed a finger along the rim of a wineglass, a humming note that only stopped once the sword slid past Awen and bounced off the ground behind her. The sword flipped, and rose back up as Jacob returned to humming.“She has a gauntlet,” Amaryllis observed.I squinted at Awen, and could make out a glove covering her entire hand all the way down her elbow. It was glass, shaped and curved and growing to cover her more and more every moment, with what looked like complicated joints around the fingers and the bend of her elbow.Was she making magical glass armour for herself on the spot? That was so cool!“Go Awen! You’re awesome!” I cheered.Awen started to move forwards again while Jacob walked in a wide circle to reposition himself. His first two blows had been more like testing attacks than anything else, it seemed.Then Awen swung her arm around her shield, and a dozen little things caught the air as they scattered on the ground before Jacob.The mercenary paused, eyes narrowing. He continued to sing even as he knelt down and pinched something off the ground. A caltrop, made of four bits of twisted glass.“Well, she’s not holding back,” Amaryllis said.Awen flung more caltrops around her shield, then even more of them, most disappearing into the sand so that they were nearly impossible to make out.Jacob whistled, and a sword shot towards Awen. She carefully stepped to the side and battered it out of the way with her shield, but a second whistle sent another sword flying towards her, then a third. Soon, Awen had to twist and crouch behind her shield while three of Jacob’s swords spun around her. They’d dart in, then back out, cutting at her shield and trying to poke her from behind.I winced. Awen was having to dodge and block a lot, while all Jacob was doing was humming his constant dirge. I was starting to make out very faint changes in pitch and tone that seemed to help the swords move, but there was no way I could figure out the pattern without a whole lot more studying. It was a neat set of skills.Awen ducked under her shield, then she flung her arm out.Instead of more caltrops, a foot-long scintillating crystal dagger shot toward Jacob's chest.His song shifted as he took a quick step back, and one of the swords near him swung around and placed itself between him and the dagger.Awen twisted her hand, and the dagger’s flight path changed in mid air. It arced around the sword and stabbed into Jacob’s armour.The blade burst into shards on impact, and it left a stub of broken glass jutting out of his armour. Not deep, but it was first blood.Jacob’s song deepened and sped up ominously. He jumped up just as one of his swords swept down and landed on the flat of the blade.“Damn,” I heard Awen say as he surfed over the ground she’d trapped.Jacob plucked a sword out of the air and landed next to Awen already swinging.She staggered back, shield imposed between herself and the mercenary to parry the swing. It was a lot heavier than the blows from the flying swords though, and it battered her arm out wide.Jacob moved in, still singing and still with his other swords flying circles around himself and Awen.One of the blades nicked her in the back, and I winced as Awen squeaked. They were circling in closer.I think we all sensed the moment that Awen started to lose steam.So, she went out with a bang.Thrusting her shield forwards, Awen rammed it into Jacob. But the mercenary was quick on his feet, and he rolled with the blow, stepping to the side as she moved past. Then he let out a long hiss, and I noticed that the shiny glass on the ground had been moving.Awen had pulled the glass closer? Maybe since he’d moved out of her trap, she moved her trap to him!It didn’t help much.Awen’s shield was shoved aside, and she only just caught his sword mid-length with her gauntleted hand.Jacob let go of it, grabbed Awen by the shirt, and with a shove and a flip, threw her up and around to crash into the sandy ground with a hard ‘oomph.’One of the flying swords came around and rested a handspan over Awen’s neck.In a flash, Awen had a gorget over her throat, then the glass continued to grow until her head was encased in a crystalline helmet. It was a bit crookedy and was obviously rushed, but it was enough that Awen was able to roll around and back to her feet even as Jacob’s swords hounded her every move.Awen was incredible, but her fight wasn’t turning out well. The more armour she added, the slower she moved and the harder Jacob hit her.He was twisting his blades to only strike with the flat side, but it was still tossing Awen around, and after the third time she landed on her back and had a sword stop above her, she stopped fighting back.Awen reached up and tore off her helmet. She glared up at the sword, then let her head fall back. “Fine, I yield,” she said.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-One — I'm Not Touching You!
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-One — I'm Not Touching You! Awen returned to our little waiting room after a sylph in white robes fussed over her on the edge of the ring. There was some magic used there, but Amaryllis assured me it was nothing but healing magic. Members of the Healing Sentinels swore an oath to only heal, so there was nothing to worry about.“Are you okay?” I asked anyway as soon as she was close. Then, when she slipped into hugging range, I pounced and squeezed her tight.Awen giggled, and wrapped her arms around me to return the hug. “I’m fine, Broc. Well, mostly fine.”“Mostly?” I asked as I pulled back a little.She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, mostly. I had a few more tricks I could have used in there. I shouldn’t have held back as much as I did. He was a much better fighter than I am, but I think I could have made him bleed a lot more if I just pushed myself a little harder.”“But you did great out there,” I said.Awen pulled out of the hug entirely while shaking her head. “I lost, Broccoli. I’m not going to beat myself up over it, you don’t need to worry about that.” She glanced back into the arena. “But I could have done better. I should have. I... I think I need to think a little bit about it.”I sighed, but let her pass. Amaryllis hesitated next to her, then carefully gave Awen a hug too. I couldn’t help but smile at that. It was nice seeing Amaryllis opening up, at least.“When I next write to Rose, I’ll tell her that you were spectacular out there,” Amaryllis said.“Awa! N-no!”Maybe Awen was right too. I’d been thinking of the fights as games more than anything else.“Representing Lord Francisco Hawk...” Augustus was already in the centre of the arena. “Flein Bocking!”That was the other sylph, the Hardened. I didn’t know what that class could do, and that was pretty worrisome. Plus, he was level 16. That was a good chunk ahead of me.The sylph stepped into the arena and glanced over to our side of it. He didn’t have any weapons on him that I noticed. Did that mean he was a magic user? Or something else?“Representing Lady Amaryllis Albatross... Captain Broccoli Bunch!”I paused for a moment, only moving when I felt talons and a hand touching my back. “You can do it,” Amaryllis said.“Kick his butt,” Awen suggested quite seriously.I nodded, my resolve made up, then I grabbed my broom and dustpan and moved into the arena.I came to stand across from Flein. “Heya,” I said.He nodded to me. “Greetings.”I took only one moment to glance up and around. The stadium seating was full. Nobles and a few more modestly dressed sylph, all packing in as close as they could. The only exception was a small box where I saw the princesses and Francisco looking down on us.Looking up was a distraction I couldn’t afford, so I refocused on Flein again. “Usually I’d try to make friends, Mister Flein, but I really-really have to win this, okay? So, ah, maybe we can chat after the fight? No hard feelings?”The sylph smiled. “No hard feelings, Captain Bunch,” he said.The referee glanced at us both, then started an abridged version of the speech he’d given before the last fight.“Uh, I have a question,” I said when he was nearing the end.“Yes?” the referee asked.“Is there an out of bounds?”He nodded. “Going too far up, above the level of the first row of seats, will activate a barrier. Leaving the arena through the side-doors is forbidden as well, though those will remain closed for the duration of the fight.”“Alright, thank you,” I said.“Good.” The referee made a show of looking around. “The arena is cleared. There is no magic in the air. Testing the magelights now.”I blinked as the arena turned red. It made the open space a whole lot more sinister for a moment.“If you see those lights come on again, you stop,” the referee said. He turned to me. “Repeat my instructions about the lights,” he said.“If the lights turn red, I have to stop,” I said.He nodded, then turned to Flein who repeated the instructions without looking away from me.I bounced on the spot. I should have stretched more, I realized.“Are both combatants ready?”We nodded. I shifted my grip on my broom and turned just a bit so that I was side-on to Flein in case he launched a spell at me. I had a plan forming in the back of my head already. I adjusted my gladiator’s helmet one last time.“Dropping the kerchief now,” the referee said.The handkerchief fluttered down and landed gently onto the sand.That sand instantly shifted up and started to move of its own volition.Cleaning magic gathered on my broom as I stepped to the side and flicked it out, firing a bright cleansing bolt toward Flein.Could I negate his sand control? If so, this would be an easy win!I wasn’t so lucky.Flein ducked to the side, then spun around on the spot.The sand around him leapt up from the ground and clung to him, two long tendrils formed past his arms and snapped towards me with twin cracks.I hopped to the side, narrowly avoiding the two sandy whips. They rammed into the arena wall behind where I had been standing with two echoing thumps. That... would have hurt.Flein wasn’t going to give me any time to come up with a plan. He spun around and two more whips swung out at me, one slicing the air horizontally, the other snaking out right at my face.I jumped to the side, ears back to keep them safe, and rolled over the horizontal strike while the other cracked at empty air.I landed in a roll and bounced back to my feet. I needed to react! Pushing my mana out, I created a burst of cleaning magic as another pair of whips approached.They kept coming, only a small portion shimmering away. The sand itself wasn’t something that was dirty, it was just plain sand.One of the whips slashed past my side and I hissed as it grated open a thin streak on my arm.I couldn’t stand still.Flein started to walk towards the middle of the arena, arms still spinning around to form new whips. He was going to cut the distance and give me no time to react.I flung a large fireball at him while backing up, then, in the pause where he ducked out of the way, I brought my foot back and kicked forwards. The end of my shoes met my dustpan in mid-air, and Flein cursed as he redirected his whips to bat it out of the air.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.The dustpan went sailing far out of reach, and before he could reset, I darted toward the wall, sprinting all out with Stamina coursing through my legs. A whip snapped behind me a moment before I leapt up and landed feet-first on the wall.My legs sprung out, and I shot across the arena on a straight path for Flein, broom held wooden-end out towards the sylph.Flein flung his arm out towards me, a fresh whip forming in the air.So I kicked out with one leg, a fireball streaking out of the tip of my foot on a straight path for his arm.He rolled to the side, but in doing so his newest whips fell apart into so much sand.I was close!I landed, rolled, scrapped across the ground, then shot out in the opposite direction right towards Flein who was recovering from his own dodge.He swung his arm out toward me, and half a dozen ropey tendrils of sand formed in the air between us. They weren’t moving whip-fast, but there would be no dodging them.So I swung my broom at them. The haft glowed with cleaning magic as I put my Makeshift Weapons Proficiency to work. The thin wood smacked though the sand, and the magic glue on it wrapped around Flein’s, disrupting the shapes where it hit them and turning the ropes into so much loose sand in the air.Flein didn’t shy away from my charge. He ran right up to me and, abandoning his ranged strikes, threw a punch at my head.I ducked out of the way of his punch, then smacked him in the side with my broom.The broom made a nice ‘thawp’ sound, and little else.His clothes and skin were covered in a layer of caked-on sand.I side-stepped another punch, then started to back away as Flein kept swinging at me. He had a simple stance, legs a bit apart, arms cocked before him, hips swaying to give his punches more force. Like a boxer. But boxers didn’t have fists enclosed in rocky lumps of hard-packed sand.I blasted him with fireballs, but that didn’t seem to do anything at all.Flein ducked in towards me and swung an uppercut towards my chin. It was only the fact that I was taller than him that let me bend back and out of the way of the blow, but then he was right up in front of me, and he brought a knee up to smack me in the thigh.I stumbled back, making some space between us.I was losing.He had the advantage at range. He was tougher up close, and hit harder too. All I had was speed and a broom. I was faster, more agile too, but no amount of cartwheels would help here.I had to try something else. Fire didn’t work. It wasn’t hot or hard-hitting enough. Cleaning wasn’t doing anything other than to wash his sand out. My broom with Makeshift Weapons Proficiency could disrupt his whips and sand but not much else.Way of the Mystic Bun...I nodded to myself. That could be a solution, maybe, but I’d need to get in close.I spun my broom around, holding it by the haft while the bristles were interposed between Flein and I.When he took his next swing, I pushed it aside with the broom. I didn’t just push my mana though my broom though, I pushed it into him.There was a weird moment there, like touching a carpet a moment after shuffling on it with big wooly slippers. Not a shock, but the impression that a shock was due.Nothing happened except that I shoved the punch aside enough to dodge it. But I had felt something.My new level in Way of the Mystic Bun allowed me to control an opponent’s mana, but it didn’t come with an instruction manual.Flein swung his free hand around, and I squeaked as a rope of sand snaked out and almost caught me around the throat. My face almost met his rising knee eye-first as he jumped up into a kick.Acting on reflex, I placed a hand on his knee and pushed it back. At the moment the contact was made, I felt his magic moving. It wasn’t like my own, all friendly and clean. His was coarse and rough, and it felt like it wanted to pack itself in tight.Pushing off his knee strike was enough to launch me into a backflip. The sense of his magic vanished as I broke contact, but despite the distraction, I still stuck the landing.I didn’t pause, circling around him close enough that I could move in if he tried to make another whip and far enough that he couldn’t punch my lights out.Only two dozen seconds had passed since the fight started, and I think we each had a measure of the other.I was in so much trouble.But I had a really bad idea, and sometimes bad ideas were a great way to get out of a bind.It was a reckless idea too, but that’s how I fought most of the time anyway.Flein was the first to move. Sliding towards me on a wave of sand, his fist punched out and released a big poof of loose sand that filled the air before me.I countered with a blast of cleaning magic that didn’t do much. Some of that sand splashed through the front of my helmet and against my face. I had to blink fast to keep it out of my eyes.Flein’s quick motion ended with a heavy punch towards my middle. His fist had gained a long narrow bar at the end of it, giving him a bit more reach. I stepped back, grabbed his wrist, and pulled. At the same time, I grabbed onto his magic and cast a spell.It wasn’t anything fancy. It was the sort of thing I’d done a thousand times before. A wave of pure Cleaning magic.The wave burst out of him and washed over me to no effect.I grinned.I’d just cast a spell with his magic!Better yet, the sandy construct around his fist fell apart.Flein pulled his arm back in a hurry, and I hopped forwards and followed.I saw his eyes filled with confusion behind a sandy mask as I jumped towards him. “This might tickle!” I shouted.I darted in and started to poke at him with my free hand while shoving my broom between his legs and behind his knee. Every poke turned his Sand-aspect mana into more Clean-aspect, and with the change his armour fell apart in big clumps.Flein wasn’t going to let me off so easily though. He reached out and grabbed my broom handle. I lost my grip on it as he tugged it away and immediately let it fall to the side.I might have been out of a weapon, but I had just gained a second hand to poke him with!“Annoying,” he said.“Thanks, I’m trying really hard,” I said.And then Flein exploded, a burst of sand shoving off of him hard enough to send me reeling.I guessed that it wouldn’t be so easy to win here.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Two — Sandblasting
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Two — Sandblasting The fight was... I wasn’t sure if it was going well for me or not. In terms of stats and such I was fine. Barely any stamina or mana spent. My HP was a couple of points shy of full. In terms of everything else, the gap between us was still wide.Flein had the advantage. Close up, he was much slower than me, but he moved as if he knew what he was doing. Maybe it was a skill, maybe it was a martial art, maybe he just practised fighting a whole bunch. I don’t think it mattered how, as long as I kept in mind that he was the better fighter up close, despite my reach and speed advantage.From afar, Flein had whips of sand and likely a few other ways to make my life difficult. I couldn’t just keep dodging him forever. Eventually my stamina would run out, or I’d get tired, or one of his whips would hit me hard enough to disable me. There was a chance that he’d run out of mana first, but that was a lot to hope for.I bounced on the balls of my feet, hands raised defensively before me, and ears laid back against my head. Flein took a moment to loosen his shoulders and carefully rebuilt the armour covering his hand.So far the only trick that had worked was getting in real close, touching him, and disrupting his mana. Turning it into Cleaning aspect was easy, and it did a number on his sand armour.My eyes darted around the arena for a second-where was my broom anyway? Oh! It was a few steps to his rightMy eyes shifted back to Flein and saw a blur of sand already halfway to my face.Yelping, I tossed myself out of the way of a sandy tendril that... flopped onto the ground harmlessly where I’d been standing.A feint!My little bun heart was clawing its way out of my chest as I watched Flein draw up more sand into a fresh whip. It spun around the air above him, then darted out at me faster than I could blink.I was on my feet and running already, but not fast enough.The whip cracked against the back of my thigh and I hissed at the fresh line of pain it left there. The crowd above, almost entirely forgotten, gasped.Flein wasn’t going to be swayed that easily. He pulled the whip back, then cracked it out again.I ducked under it this time, the snap going off just above my head, louder than a gunshot.Staying at range wasn’t going to work.I planted my foot down and flung myself towards Flein. At least when I was close I had a chance to take him out. Maybe land a lucky blow. From far away all I was doing was letting him bully me around the arena.Flein was ready for my move. It was a rather predictable thing to do, I guess, and he had to know that I was nearly out of options.The arena’s sandy floor burst upwards, turning into a hip-high barrier of long spikes. Running into that would be like headbutting the back end of a hedgehog. I squished myself down sideways, and somehow, just barely, I managed to slip between two of the spikes then dropped into a roll.A roll which ended right where Flein wanted me.I screamed as his whip caught me right across the face. I was wearing a helmet, but that blow crossed right through it, and the padding within the helmet shoved itself into my face and sent me reeling back. I coughed and blinded hard as sand grit into my eyes and cheeks.I only barely caught sight of the whip returning to council above its master’s head. He was going to hit me again!I never formed a fireball so quickly. My mana spun into shape and launched a burning dart across the arena with a whistling shriek.Flein aborted his attack and tore his sandy spikes apart to form a barrier between him and me. It caught the fireball with a dull thump.Planting my feet down for just a moment, I squatted, then shot myself up and into the air as hard and fast as I could so that I was launched over Flein. Humans didn’t tend to look up, but sylph were able to fly. It was only natural that he would glance up and catch sight of me zipping above him.He twisted around, tracking my arc as I flung fireballs and cleanballs at him as fast as I could make them.Depleting my mana supply wasn’t an issue. The fight would be ending soon either way, and if I lost it while I still had mana left, that just meant that I didn’t give it my all.Flein swatted my magic out of the air with a twisting mass of sand. It burst apart at every impact, but reformed just as quickly.I landed across from him, spun around so that I was facing his direction, then charged toward him, fists raised before me and body low to the ground.Flein swung his arm out wide between us, and a second wall of sand spikes formed.Good!I hadn’t jumped this way for nothing. As I ran, I ducked low and picked up my broom, both hands gripping onto the very end of the handle and mana flooding through the shaft.I swung with a grunt of effort, more and more magic pouring out of the mop until it glowed.A broom was a tool for sweeping, and right then, all I wanted was to sweep the sand away.Something about cleaning magic made it... strange. It would only clean out impurities, but the sand wasn't an impurity. When I tried to clean it away, all I was getting was clean sand.What if I didn’t target the sand so much as the mana holding it together?It was a weird idea, and one that I really, really hoped would work out as I charged right into the teeth of his barrier.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.My mop tore into the spikes... and right through them. Where it passed, the sandy construct burst apart into a cloud of dust.I was through the barrier and right up against Flein faster than either of us could think.Turning just a little, I rammed into the sylph shoulder first.I was a lot heavier than he was, even with his sandy armour, and I was moving pretty darned fast. It still hurt. His chest had a thick layer of hardened sand over it, rough and coarse and not something I’d normally want to run into at a full sprint.We crashed into each other, then I drove him to the ground. I heard him grunt beneath me a moment before he swung a fist around and hit me in the ribs. My armour took some of the sting out of the blow. Some of it.Flein twisted, trying to throw me off him, but I pinned one end of my broom under a knee and pressed down on the other with one hand. With the other, I tried to reach for his face.Sand twirled around us and shot towards my face. Was he going to try to suffocate me?I let out a powerful burst of cleaning magic, wiping his mana out of the air.Then, finally, I placed a hand over his face. “Stop!” I screamed.He grunted and shifted under me.“Stop, or I’ll turn your mana into fireballs inside you,” I said.He froze.I froze too. That was a very mean thing to say to someone. Worse... I wasn’t sure if I meant the threat or not.He sighed and let his head fall back. “I’m not being paid enough to test that.”The referee was suddenly right next to us. “Winner, by forfeit, is Captain Broccoli Bunch,” he declared.I carefully shifted off from on top of Flein, then sat down on the ground for a bit. I hadn’t noticed early, but all of the sand of the arena was bunched up around us, forming a slight hill. That... had been close, very close, way too close.“Ma’am, are you well?”I blinked and looked up into the eyes of a white-robbed sylph. A young man, maybe five or six years my senior. “Uh? Oh, yeah.”“I’m going to touch your shoulder and hand,” the sylph said. He was very gentle as he grabbed hold of me.I felt his magic coiling under his skin, then it shot out into me and I flinched. My own mana twitched and his dispersed.The sylph blinked. “Oh, you have very fine mana control, Captain. I’ll assure you, on my name and oath, that I mean you no harm. I’m just going to run a diagnostic to make sure you’re in good health.”“Oh, sorry,” I said. I glanced to the side and noticed another sylph doing the same to Flein, though they were just finishing up.This time I let the mana move in without touching it. I couldn’t even begin to guess what he was doing though. My senses weren’t anywhere keen enough to figure it out. It felt warm though.“Two small cuts, arm and upper thigh near the buttocks, one forming bruise on the left side of the chest near the short-ribs. Some light scraping of the skin around the shins... a lot of tension in your muscles and bones, especially around your legs. You might want to consider switching to a day-on-day off workout schedule, and add some more protein to your diet. Otherwise, I validate you as being in good health.”“Oh, thanks,” I said. He helped me onto my feet, and out of curiosity I checked my arm. There was a cut in the fabric of my gambeson and... that was it. No blood, of course, not with all the Cleaning magic around, and no cut under that either, just smooth, pale skin. “Healing magic’s pretty neat.”“I must agree,” the healer said. “You should rejoin your friends now, before the referee’s patience runs dry.”I nodded and headed towards my friends, but not before trading a nod with Flein and taking off the lion-headed helmet I wore.The moment I stepped into the room with my friends I was swept up into a big big hug. “You did great!”“Well done!”I laughed as the tension bled out of me. It took a bit of wiggling to free my arms, but as soon as I could I squeezed Awen and Amaryllis right back. “Thanks,” I said. “I wasn’t sure I’d win that.”“I didn’t doubt it at all,” Awen said.“Well, I certainly did. That was a tough opponent for you,” Amaryllis said. “Which only makes it all the more impressive that you managed to pull off a victory.”“Yeah,” I said. I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing to, maybe it was just the hug speaking. It was nice and warm and made all the tension in my shoulders bleed away. It also ended all too soon, though I knew I could always get more hugs if I asked.“Are you well?” Amaryllis asked in a hushed voice that only we could hear.I bobbed my head up and down. “I’m fine. That really was a tough fight. But we won.”“You won,” Amaryllis said. “And you deserved it too.”“You were great out there,” Awen added.I was going to deny that, but then Augustus’ voice cut me off. “Our final contestants. Representing Lord Francisco, Malter Roggen! And representing Lady Amaryllis Albatross is the lady herself.”Amaryllis took a deep breath. “My turn.”“Be careful out there,” I said.“Show him why you’re so scary,” Awen added.“Oh, don’t worry,” Amaryllis said. She was almost purring. “With things at a tie I have no choice but to win. I’m going to put the fear of me into that mercenary, and maybe show Francis what’ll happen to him if he crosses me enough.”Contrary to Amaryllis’ wishes, I was worrying a lot.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Three — Blitzkrieg
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Three — Blitzkrieg The last of the people we had to fight was Malter Roggen, the only human in the trio and, according to Insight, someone who had the Frozen Batterer class.The height difference between Amaryllis and Malter was kind of obvious. Malter was a tallish human, and Amaryllis was maybe a tiny bit taller than average for a girl harpy. That meant that Malter had a good head of height over herNot that Amaryllis seemed to care. She stood at the end of the arena, oozing such a powerful aura of malice that I could feel it despite being behind a window. Was that what killing intent felt like? I thought it was just a thing in cartoons.“I bet he’s nervous now,” Awen said.Malter did look a pinch uncomfortable. He was level 14, the lowest levelled person on the opposite team, and the only one equal to Amaryllis. He had light armour on, a padded outfit with a sort of hardened leather carapace atop it. He was armed, but he kept fiddling with his strange weapon.“What is that thing?” I asked.“It’s a meteor hammer,” Awen said. “The Ostri like to use those. They can be pretty dangerous, but usually if you’re using one, you need a lot of space to manoeuvre, so you can't stick close to your allies.”“Alright,” I said. Hopefully Amaryllis would be able to counter it properly.The referee stepped back into the ring and glanced at both Amaryllis and Malter before he started his usual spiel. He must have said those exact same lines hundreds of times by now. It was impressive that he still put so much energy into it. Though maybe there was a Referee skill out there?He had Amaryllis and Malter each repeat his instructions before finally pulling out a handkerchief and raising it above his head.Amaryllis brought her knife around so that it was before her and she crouched into more of a fighter’s stance.Malter shifted as well, his meteor hammer was a lump at the end of a thick ribbon. He gave it some slack, then automatically started to spin it around.The handkerchief dropped.I held my breath as it fluttered through the air, gently making its way down until...The arena exploded with sound and light as Amaryllis fired a spell across the space between her and Malter.There was no dodging something that fast, even if the air around Malter seemed to fill with icy crystals. He grunted and stumbled back as Amaryllis’ electrical discharge wracked his body.Still, he managed to get his arm moving to spin his hammer around some more. His free hand, still holding onto the coil of rope for his weapon, rose, and he started to form a sort of hexagonal shield in the air, like a giant hovering snowflake.Amaryllis didn’t sit idle though. She jogged around the edge of the arena, a careful spiral that would bring her around to Malter’s position soon enough. He had to turn to keep his shield interposed between them.As she circled him Amaryllis fired three more quick spells. Little zaps of magic that snapped through the air. Malter hopped on the spot to avoid one that went for his exposed feet, another missed him entirely, and the last tested the strength of his shield. It held, though it steamed from the heat where the magic hit.Then Malter started to dance. He spun, arm shifting out, and the twirling ball at the end of the ribbon he held flung itself out and came around in a big loop.Amaryllis paused her run to let it swing by her. She eyed it, eyes narrowed as the hammer came back around in a deceptively slow arc.Malter shifted a leg out, caught the ribbon behind the hammer, then spun and kicked. The hammer flew out in a straight path, right towards Amaryllis.The distance was great enough that Amaryllis was able to duck out of the way, but it was a close thing.Unfortunately for Malter, it left him open, and his weapon required a specific set of motions to reset itself.Amaryllis started to fling little zappy spells at him. Nothing that would take him out on their own, but enough of them that he had to move fast to duck and weave so that they’d miss. His shield came around and took a few hits, but it was just small enough that some part of Malter was always sticking out.Amaryllis started jogging again, one hand flinging lightning towards Malter, the other... trailing down next to her, just over the sand.“Oh!” Awen said.“What?” I asked.“I just caught on to what she’s doing,” Awen said.I glanced back at the fight. Malter and Amaryllis were now circling around each other. Soon, they’ll have traded places from where they started the fight. “I don’t see it,” I said.“She’s herding him.”I watched a bit more as Malter finally reached the spot where Amaryllis had been earlier. He was putting up a decent fight now that he’d gotten used to Amaryllis’ style of fighting. His weapon afforded him good range, and judging by the heavy thumps that sounded out when it hit the ground, it hit hard too.Amaryllis was using the fact that he had to shield himself from her constant barrage of little spells to make dodging easier. After all, he couldn’t exactly go all-out while also working so hard to keep safe.And then it happened. Amaryllis grinned the sort of grin she only deployed when she’d caught someone flatfooted. Her free hand rose up, and then she turned her talons down and tensed.Malter stumbled out of nowhere, feet planting themselves onto the ground even as he scurried to wrap his hammer around his arm. He tilted back, foot kicking out to hit the back of his shield hard enough that I winced. Judging by the confused and pained look that crossed his face, he wasn’t supposed to do that.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.I think Malter realized just how much trouble he was in, because he suddenly threw caution to the wind. He flung his hammer out with a grunt, and where it flew, the air filled with shimmering fog.Amaryllis jumped to the side and the hammer sailed past where she was to impact the wall behind her. A huge burst of icy spikes exploded out of the wall, almost skewering my friend from behind.I gasped, hands covering my mouth. That had been close!Amaryllis seemed to think so too because she raised her hand, and for a moment I was able to make out the wires she held. They trailed along the ground all the way over to where Malter was.He saw them too and started to claw at his legs and sides, but it was too late.Amaryllis smiled, and the air, even in the room we were in, started to smell like ozone.There was a great big bang and a bright light. For a moment I swore I saw the outline of Malter’s skeleton before I had to blink away from the light. Sand was kicked up around the mage, and his hammer’s ribbon trailed to the ground.Then Malter flopped to the floor, completely out of the fight.I held my breath for just a moment as a medic sylph, the same one who had helped me, ran out to Malter and checked on him. The man sat up soon enough, looking rather groggy, but alive.He was fine, which meant... “Woo! Well done Amaryllis!” I cheered.Awen and I slipped out of the room in a quick sprint. Awen stopped before Amaryllis and shook her talons with a big smile on.I, being less reserved, tackled Amaryllis off her feet with a flying hug. “You won!”“Get off me, you clingy bun,” Amaryllis protested. “People are watching you know!”I laughed, squeezed her extra tight, then hopped to my feet and helped her back up so that I could give her a second, standing hug. Awen joined in that one, despite Amaryllis’ continued protests that it would make her look improper or whatever.The referee cleared his throat, and we backed off a bit. A medic came to check on Amaryllis, but she’d been unscathed through the entire fight, so she was given a clean bill of health.I didn’t quite know what to expect then, but I didn’t have to worry much.Augustus stepped into the arena and carefully directed my friends and I to stand on one side while a team of sylph swept in. A big carpet was unrolled across the ground while another swept up the sand with a spell.Caprica descended, accompanied by a couple of guards who stood watch by the doorway, and soon the three mercenaries we’d fought were standing at attention across from us.Then Francisco entered the arena.Judging by the way he glanced up at the crowd, he was very aware of all the eyes taking us in. I had the impression that to some people, this was the best part of the show.Francisco was directed to stand in front of his team, and Amaryllis took a half step forward as well. There was only a metre between them. A very tense one.“Fighters, spectators, noble lords and ladies,” Augustus said with his most boisterous voice. “We have gathered here to watch a duel, declared between the noble houses of Hawk and Albatross over the right of participation in the upcoming International Summit. This duel is now complete.”There was a long pause and I only just managed to catch myself before I clapped.“Lord Hawk, do you concede your loss, as witnessed?” Augustus asked.Francisco’s nose rose right up and he glared across to Amaryllis. Still, the pressure must have been pretty hard on him. “I suppose it was a well-fought duel. I think it’s tradition in these parts to shake talons when two opponents meet honourably.”Augustus nodded, but slowly. “Yes. Though that is the choice of the victor.”Amaryllis huffed, a very mighty and powerful huff that carried much pride with it. “I won’t shake the talon of a bully, nor the talon of a coward. To shake with someone who has demonstrated that he is both would abase me and my family.”“A coward?” Francisco snapped.Oh, things were going off-script. Augustus seemed ready to step in, and I was sure that he’d be able to calm everyone down. He had to have some public speaking skills of some sort. But then Caprica reached out and very subtly touched his side, and the speaker kept mum.“You would call me a coward?” Francisco snapped. “You’re the one who’s terrified of a little scuffle.”“A war is not a scuffle,” Amaryllis shot back. “And I think I’ve proven amply that I’m not afraid to put my claws where my beak is. You, on the other hand, are proving to not only be a coward and a bully, but an idiot too. I think it’s well-known that I have little tolerance for birds who replace their brains with festering worms.”Francisco choked for a moment, his face turning red and his feathers puffing out.“I ought to gut you for insulting me so.”“Do you want another duel?” Amaryllis asked. “Will you actually participate yourself this time? Or will you cower behind the back of more hired goons?”“I-I don’t need to prove myself to you.”“Oh, shut up Francis,” Amaryllis said. “You’re giving our entire race a poor name when you put your idiocy on such public display.”Augustus cleared his throat. “It is the opinion, as witnessed, of the The Calcifer Spood Memorial Arena, that the victory goes to Lady Amaryllis Albatross!”Now the clapping started for real, though it was the demure, careful clap of proper people.I didn’t bother with that, those nobles could use a bit more enthusiasm, so I clapped loud and hard, and then I tossed in a few whoops for good measure. Judging by the barely restrained smile on Caprica’s face, I was doing just fine.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Four — To the Victor, the Spoils
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Four — To the Victor, the Spoils I don’t know why, but I sorta expected there to be something after the fight. Maybe not like a party or anything, but at least an opportunity to chat and relax. The nobles in the stands above dispersed to talk in clumps, Fransico left after giving Amaryllis a downright mean glare, and then Augustus escorted Caprica out of the arena.My friends and I followed after her because there wasn’t much else to do, really.Caprica waited for us in the corridor just outside of the arena proper, her guards standingat either end, as attentive as ever. “I suppose that was a grand success,” she said.“I hope so,” Amaryllis said. “It’ll mean that, unless the main harpy delegation shows up between now and the summit, I’ll be representing the Harpy Mountains.”“You’ll need to do more than just show up,” Caprica said. “Do you have a dress for the occasion?”“I have something suitable,” Amaryllis said.“And do you have anyone that can assist you at the event itself? A secretary, at the very least. You’ll want to study the reports on the other delegations, and you need to submit your text, prepare a speech for the opening, a main argument speech, and a closing. The closing speech will be tricky, you want different versions of it to respond to different likely possibilities.”Amaryllis huffed. “I know that it won’t be as simple as showing up,” she said.“It will certainly not be that simple,” Caprica said. “This summit is supposed to be a grand diplomatic event. Especially between Sylphfree and the Harpy Mountains. The... failure of the diplomatic meeting at Fort Sylphrot is putting even more pressure onto this event to be a success. And I think that your lord Francis isn’t the only one who wishes for war. We have more than a few generals and nobles who would be eager to do more than parade around.”I puffed my cheeks out as I let out a big breath. “We’ll have to convince everyone not to start anything.”“It won’t be easy,” Caprica said.“Nothing’s ever easy,” Amaryllis said.“Huh?” I asked. “A bunch of things are easy. I guess this might not be one of them, but I’m sure if we share the work it’ll get done!”Caprica chuckled. “Well, I suppose at least you won’t have to do all the work on your own. I should have some free time in the coming day or two, maybe I can stop by your inn and assist you.”I clapped. “That would be super! We could have tea, and have a study session. I’ll have to ask the innkeep if we can have more cushions.”“Cushions?” Caprica asked.“Don’t encourage her,” Amaryllis said. She gestured to Caprica. “What about the rest of the day? I can’t imagine it’s much later than noon.”Caprica glanced up, towards where I imagined the stage was. “I should rejoin Gabrielle. She mentioned wanting to tour the city a little. She very rarely leaves the palace, and while I’m worried that it might put her health at risk, I don’t want my sister to be raised entirely in isolation.”We started for the nearest staircase, back up to the parts of the arena that were better decorated. Amaryllis and Awen surrendered their borrowed gear along the way. I had sort of left my bucket and mop behind at some point.“You mentioned that Gabrielle is a little sick a few times,” I said. “Is it bad?”“It’s not great,” Caprica said. “But it's under control. Sylphfree has unmatched medical facilities and the best doctors on Dirt. Our medical and healing arts are second to none, and that’s in large part thanks to the same affliction that Gabrielle has.”“Huh?” I asked.Caprica nodded. “It’s not a secret. Quite a few members of the royal family grow up feeble, with fainting sicknesses or ill-health. In the past a few have passed away far too young. I have a great-uncle who poured a considerable amount of wealth into shoring up our medical facilities and building great schools to study and experiment with the healing arts.”“That seems nice,” I said.“He was moved when his sibling passed away from a wasting sickness,” she said somberly. “When the schools started paying dividends in the form of a healthier populace, the military started to see the potential as well. It became... well, suffice to say that in Sylphfree, the most honoured sylph after the royal family are the paladins, followed by the brass, and swiftly followed by those who dedicate themselves to medicine and healing. It’s seen as a very acceptable alternative to military service, though a costlier one.”We made it up to the floor above, and found Gabrielle and the rest of Caprica’s guards waiting there. The girl grinned wide and stepped closer. “You did so well!” she said.“We did what we had to do,” Amaryllis demurred. There’s no denying the smug aura around her though.“Would it be insulting if I said that I didn’t expect Caprica’s new friends to be such talented warriors? All three of you,” Gabrielle said.I shook my head. “We only barely won, I think. That was tough. If we were actually warriors, then we would probably have done much better.”“I’m not so sure of that,” Caprica said. “You all fought in rather strange ways. I’m particularly impressed with Awen’s glass magic. It seems tremendously useful.”“Awa? Oh, it’s nothing special. I hope I’ll be able to improve it as we continue to level and grow stronger.”“So you three really do intend to keep growing?” Caprica asked.I blinked. “Should we stop?” I asked in return.She chuckled. “Most civilians will eventually make it past their first tier if they find something they truly love, and focus on it. I think most of our forces reach the top of their second tier eventually. But you all sound like you want to go far beyond that.”Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.“I don’t see why more people don’t,” I said. “It’s not hard, is it?”“It’s time-consuming,” Caprica said. “And more importantly, requires that one travels and reaches more and more dungeons, not to mention increasingly dangerous challenges to level efficiently.”“I guess it’s not something for a complacent person to do,” I said.She shrugged. “It’s admirable that you want to grow more personally powerful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Now, we could stand here and chat, or we could be more efficient with our time. Gabrielle, I don’t recall eating out with you in a long time. Would you rather return home or stay with us for a meal?”Gabrielle sniffed, eyes rolling ever as she placed her hands on her hips. “Obviously I want to go with you. I’m not twelve, Caprica.”Caprica eyed Gabrielle up and down. “I don’t know. The way you were jumping up and down and cheering earlier, I think I could be convinced to believe that you were.”The little sister’s cheeks reddened and her wings flapped furiously behind her. “Capri!”Caprica grinned back at us. “We should all go. My treat, to celebrate your grand victory today.”“Thank you!” I said.Augustus greeted us by the exit. He made sure to shake everyone’s hands and welcomed us to fight at his arena whenever we wanted to. Judging by the number of nobles still milling around, our little fight had attracted a lot of attention.I imagined that in a place like Goldenalden, where royalty was honoured, having two princesses visit someone’s establishment and come out looking pleased would be great for business.Caprica’s guards ran out ahead a bit and formed something of a wedge leading to the carriage, that was, until Caprica waved over one of the guards who had more feathers on his helmet. “We’ll walk down the street a little. Take in the air, window shop, then likely find something to eat along the way,” she said. “Could you do a wide formation, please?”The guard bowed, then spun and made a few quick gestures that had the other guards dispersing into an even wider net.Gabrielle didn’t even seem to notice all the motion, she was too busy taking in the street.It was a bit weird, hanging out with some new friends while being aware from the periphery that we were constantly surrounded. The worst thing was that it felt rude not to speak to the guards. Some seemed really nice, and when I smiled at them they smiled or nodded back. They were people too, and they obviously deserved to be befriended just as much as anyone else, but their job got in the way of that.“Broccoli?” Awen asked.I snapped out of my thoughts and gave her a quick side-hug to tell her I was fine. “So, are we going to get fancy food, or are we going to get fun food?”“Fun food?” Gabrielle asked.“You mean food we... like?” Caprica asked right after.Nothing so simple,” I sniffed very haughtily and as fancily as I could. “Well you see, dear princesses, normal food is just food that’s meant to be eaten, as all food is. It can be tasty or not. Fancy food is all about the presentation, being all nice and prettiful, but fun food, now that’s food that’s meant to be fun to eat!”“Sometimes I wonder how I became friends with you,” Amaryllis muttered.Ignoring Amaryllis' interruption, I went on: "I don't think they have hot dogs or hamburgers here.”“You eat dogs?” Gabrielle gasped, hands over her mouth.I shook my head so hard my ears swapped together. “No no, I’m a vegetarian. Hot dogs are like... sausages placed in this piece of bread, usually with condiments on top.”"Eating sausages doesn't sound very vegetarian," Gabrielle pointed out."No, they're not for me, I just like them. I wasn't always vegetarian.""Oh." Gabrielle gave me a weird look. "So, these hot dogs are basically sandwiches?"I held back a pout. “Nevermind that, I’m sure there’s some sort of junk food sold around here. There has to be.”“I don’t know. The sylph are notoriously prudish, it’s possible that they don’t like the idea of such frivolous food,” Amaryllis said.“We’re not prudish,” Caprica said... prudishly. “I’m sure we have plenty of fun food.” She waved the same guard captain over, and asked him if he knew where we could find fun food. He looked completely stumped for a moment, that was, until one of the younger guards cleared his throat and said that there were a few places some blocks over.So off we went, chatting about this and that and nothing at all while pausing in front of windows to stare at the stuff within. I don’t think any of us failed to notice the small entourage of nobles snooping about some distance away, coincidentally always going the same way we were. I’m pretty sure that most of my friends didn’t notice that the city guard patrolled the same street six times in the space of half an hour. I think they were pretty much just going around the block in a big circle by the end.The next blocks over had more shops, though they catered towards a less distinguished crowd. The clothes were more utilitarian and clean, and the things behind the windows had less silver and gold trim on them.At long last, we found a restaurant where a very flustered young sylph lady made space for us, then shyly presented us with a menu. There were all sorts of wraps and sandwiches for sale, usually with goat meat prepared with sweet sauces and a few salads that had more bread and cheese and sauce in them than veggies.We ate, we laughed, and we teased each other over every little thing.It was nice to unwind after such a stressful day. And we’d need all the relaxation we could get. Things had reached a maximum level of complication, and I had a feeling deep in my tummy that things wouldn’t get any easier for a while.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Five — In This Solemn Hour
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Five — In This Solemn Hour “Everything is terrible and I hate my life.”I glanced up from the paper I was reading to stare across the room.Amaryllis was standing over her desk. It was a desk that Mister Jared, the innkeeper, had brought in with the help of a few manservants.Mister Jared had been nothing but nice since we arrived at the Dewdrop Inn. I think having Bastion escort us over had helped a lot, though he did seem like a good and friendly person from the start.Having two princesses show up at his door though? That had really made him pepped up and excited. I was pretty sure that any one of us could ask him to draw twelve baths in a row and he’d do it all himself with a smile and a spring in his step. Asking him for a desk or two so that Amaryllis’ paperwork could stop crowding the dining table had been easy.“Are you okay?” I asked, setting aside mental tangents about nice innkeepers.Amaryllis wiggled her wings at the desk. “This,” she said. She groaned then started pacing.“Uh, yeah, that,” I agreed.She nodded her head, and I was pretty sure that we had communicated something that I didn’t mean to.“But besides... that, are you okay?” I asked again.She huffed an irritated, tired huff of frustration. I wasn’t sure if it was aimed at me or the papers. “This is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be,” she finally said.I was happy that she was back to using words. “It’s all political stuff. Aren’t those usually pretty complicated?”“Yes, of course. But... well, as loath as I am to admit it, I suspected that I would have a much easier time with all of this. I grew up in the Harpy Mountains, I studied Sylphfree’s politics as a hatchling! This should all be stuff I know!”I nodded. “You’re doing just great,” I said.She puffed out her chest and placed talons on hips. “Oh don’t patronise me, Broccoli, you don’t have a clue what’s going on here.”It was my turn to huff. “Well, I’m trying to help, that’s all,” I said. I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to start arguing with her. We didn’t need that, and it wouldn’t be productive at all. “I’m sorry I can’t help you more. But that doesn’t mean I can’t help you at all. What’s the matter right now?”“It’s,” she started, then waved her wings at all the papers again. “All this. It’s too much.”“Exponential complication,” Awen said. She was sitting on a big poofy chair next to a bay window at the end of the room, a large tome on her lap that nearly hid her entirely.“What’s that?” I asked.She glanced up from her book. “Suppose you start with a small, simple problem. It has one variable, only one thing to keep track of. If you add a second variable, however, you must track not only the two variables, but also the relationship between them — three things you must keep in mind. If the variables increase to three, then the number of things to track increases to seven-""Wait," Amaryllis interjected before I could wrap my head around that. "I only counted six. Three variables and three unique pairings that each yield another interaction.""There's a seventh interaction because all three variables could have a trinary interaction." Awen paused. "I think.""Hm," Amaryllis leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "Now that I think of it, couldn't interactions also trigger more interactions that don't otherwise occur? Some kind of cascade?"Awen frowned. "It might depend on how you philosophically model the concepts of variables and interactions. I haven't studied this that much.""Uh ..." I trailed off.She shifted back in her seat. “Alright, imagine... imagine fuel for an airship.”I nodded for her to go on.“If you’re the quartermaster in charge of fuel for one ship, then all you need to know is how much fuel that ship needs every time it comes to port. You also need to know how long the ship’s trips are so that you have enough fuel waiting for it when it arrives. That’s one factor-the ship’s fuel-and two variables-how much it needs and how much it used.”“Alright,” I said. “That sounds pretty easy.”“Yes, because it’s just one ship. Now, add in oil consumption as well. That’s a bit trickier, but you can probably guess how much it needs every trip, so it’s just one more little thing to keep track of.” Awen licked her lips. “Now, let’s say that you also need to keep track of rations onboard the ship. And it’s a ship that has passengers. It doesn’t always have them both ways. Now that’s three things to keep track of, right?”“I guess so, yeah,” I said.“Now, add another ship. You’re not just keeping track of fuel and oil and food for one ship, but two. Plus, maybe those ships can trade those things on the go, or the number of passengers and how far they travel changes depending on which of the two ships arrives at port first.”“Uh,” I said.“Now instead of two ships, make it thirty. Also, you need to keep track of crews now. And the ships can trade crewmates between each other. Oh, and there’s another small port that they can use sometimes, but they won't tell you if they do or not, because visiting that port is technically illegal. Also, you need to keep track of repairs and maintenance schedules, but you only have a limited number of mechanics and they all need to work on each ship for a different amount of time. Your goal is to make it so that each ship is ready to leave port as quickly as possible with the right amount of fuel, oil, food, enough crew onboard to work the ship, a good load of passengers and cargo, and that the ships are at tip-top before they leave.”My head was spinning and my ears were wilting like unwatered flowers. “Huh?”“Exactly. It’s a lot of stuff to keep track of, and every added factor makes it exponentially more complicated. That’s Amaryllis’ problem right now.”I glanced at Amaryllis. She was staring at Awen, a little shocked. “That’s... yes. Exactly right, and succinctly put.”Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!“That was succinct?” I asked.“It would have been if you didn’t need a whole analogy to make sense of it,” Amaryllis said.I closed the book I’d been reading. It was a history book, something that I didn’t often read back home, but this one was about harpy clans and it had talks about magic and politics and romance and all sorts of neat things. Learning about world history back home would have been way more engaging if there were more dragons involved. “Alright, so everything’s getting too complicated.”“It’s not getting too complicated, Broccoli. It was complicated all along, I just didn’t know how complicated it was.”“Right, a ‘good old days’ problem,” I said. At her confused look, I explained. “People often say that things were easier in the good old days, but things were just as complicated back then, it’s just that we don’t know all the things that made it complicated.”“Strange, but alright,” Amaryllis said. “I need a good speech for the summit, something that will make sure that everyone there takes me seriously.”“Isn’t the fact that you’re the representative enough?”She shook her head. “Not after rumours of the fight with Francisco circulate. The sylph might come to believe that whomever fights better can gain the spot as representative. I need to make it clear that I’m not just there because I’m personally powerful and somewhat well-connected. I need to make it clear from the onset that I have political acumen.”I nodded. That made lots of sense. “And that’s why you’re trying to cram every last bit of political stuff you can get your talons on into your head all at once.”“... An oversimplification of what I’m attempting, but not entirely wrong,” Amaryllis said.“You know that knowing stuff won’t make it easier to talk about the right stuff.”“I’m aware,” Amaryllis said. “This is all just preparatory. There will be questions asked, and the representatives will have the opportunity to ask their own questions in return. I should at least know enough about the desires and fears of the various harpy factions that I can make a point of bringing them up.”“And you need to sound fancy while doing it,” I said.“I’ll be going up against people who have entire classes dedicated to politics and diplomacy, not to mention entire skillsets that revolve around charisma. In that regard your own skills might trump mine once behind the podium.”I considered it for a moment, then slowly nodded. “If we’re just counting skills, then yeah, I guess. You can’t use puppetry or lightning to get your way in a debate. Well, not fairly at least. But those are just skills. You’re pretty great at this kind of stuff, even if you don’t have skills around it.”“Those skills I don’t have are a huge force multiplier,” Amaryllis said.“Then I guess we’ll have to work real hard to make up for it.”She sighed. “Which is exactly what I’m doing. And why I think my feathers will fall right off of me. This is a lot to take in. I’m dipping into sylph history too, there are plenty of books around here that touch on that. A few reports on the cervid, some on the grenoil, though not as many there. This is... a mess.”I bounced to my feet, walked over to Amaryllis, then gave her a good hug. She really needed it. “It’ll be fine,” I said. “Maybe we can start on the speech instead? Just a first draft, we can overhaul it once you learn more. Besides, how much do you want to say?”She frowned, then nodded. “You’re right. Less might be more here. A shorter, more concise speech. I can touch on the wants of the larger harpy populace, maybe mention our fears of what a war would mean.”“Not all the harpy want to avoid a war,” I mentioned. It wasn’t a nice thought, but it was true.“You’re right... maybe I can mention as much? Acknowledge that a lot of harpy are revelling in the possibilities brought on by new technologies, but insist that they shouldn't be turned towards slaughter?”I nodded along. “That sounds like a good start.”Amaryllis rushed over to a desk, muttered something rude as she brushed aside some papers to find an inkwell, then returned to the dining table and pulled out a seat for herself. She looked around, then said something very rude to no one in particular before plucking a feather out of her wing to use as a quill. She scribbled a bullet list on a piece of loose leaf.“Alright, that’s a very rough outline,” she said. “I also need to flatter the others, though not too much.”“That would take up too much time,” I said.“No, the time isn’t the issue-well, not the only one at least. If I spend even a word too much flattering the cervid they might think that we’re in a weaker position relative to them. They’ll confuse humility for weakness. At the same time, I need to praise and compliment the others. But I can’t single out any one of them. Well, perhaps the grenoil, they’re ostensibly allies in this.”“Don’t,” Awen said. “Try to keep it even. Favouring the grenoil would insult the cervid. There’s still some old animosity between the two, I’ll bet.”“Right,” Amaryllis said. “You’re pretty keen with all of this, Awen.”“My mom made me take lessons about this kind of stuff,” Awen said. “I thought I’d forgotten a lot of it, but I guess it’s all still in the back of my head.”“That’s handy,” I said. I don’t think I had any awesome secret knowledge to rely on.Awen shrugged. “It doesn’t come up very often, but it’s not bad to know.”Amaryllis scribbled a few more things. “What else,” she muttered. “Oh, right.” She bent down and added a few more lines to her list. “And a bit of... of course...”“Uh, you alright?” I asked.“Yes. Now give me about eight hours to write this, then we can start the revisions and rewrites,” she said.I held back a sigh. This was very important, to the world and for Amaryllis, so I wasn’t going to tell anyone that I found it a little bit boring.Sometimes it was hard to be there for a friend, but that was okay too!
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Six — Dawn of a New Day
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Six — Dawn of a New Day “Wake up!”I blinked as I sat up in a vaguely-familiar bed. “Huh?” I asked.Amaryllis was above me, talons on hips and frame bent so that her face was close to mine. “I said wake up, we need to start getting ready.”“Huh?” I glanced around. My inn room was still dark, the only light coming in from some lanterns in the main room. The world outside the window was that blue-black that the sky took on when the sun was considering coming up. “Wha’ time’s it?”“It’s time for you to get up and get ready,” Amaryllis said. “The summit is today.”“But it’s still dark out?” I asked. The confusion of sleep was wearing off, only to be replaced by other, new confusions.She sniffed. “Obviously. Come on, we don’t have all day!” With that she stomped out of the room. A moment later I heard her telling Awen to wake up from the next room over.Yawning so hard my jaw ached, I stretched my arms out over my head, then shifted so that I was sitting on the edge of my bed. I was very much not bright-eyed and bushy tailed. I was more... blurry-eyed, and my tail was sleep-squished.I stood up, ran my hand through my hair-which was getting pretty long, I’d need to see about cutting it-then I stumbled out of the room and into the main lounge area. The desks covered in Amaryllis’ papers had moved; so had all of the papers stacked on them.Amaryllis stepped out of Awen’s room looking like she was caught somewhere between smug and nervous. “Hey, Amaryllis,” I started. “When did you go to sleep?”“Sleep?” she asked.“Amaryllis, you did sleep, right?”She huffed at me. “As if I had time for something like that. Do you have any idea how much work there is left to do still?”“But you need sleep,” I said.“I can sleep once the summit is over. And it will be over soon,” she said. “Why aren’t you dressed yet?”I glanced out of the nearest window. “Because it’s still nighttime?”“Hmm, yes, you might get your dress dirty. No, wait, you could just clean it off! That’s no excuse! Go get dressed Broccoli.” Amaryllis scurried off to her own room, the door clicking shut behind her.I turned to find Awen leaning against the doorframe of her own room. “She’s lost her mind,” Awen said.“Maybe the stress is getting to her,” I said. It wasn’t quite an agreement, but it wasn’t far from one. “I’ll ambush her with a hug once she’s out of her room.”“I think she needs more than a hug,” Awen said. “More like a vacation, and maybe a few days of sleep.” She yawned, and I suspected that she wanted that for herself too. “This is way too early to be awake.”“It’s fine,” I said. “I think you can go back to bed for a few minutes. Get a few more winks in before we really do need to get ready. I’ll talk to Amaryllis.”Awen hesitated. “I should probably be there too,” she finally said with a sigh. I could tell she’d really rather go back to bed too, but Awen was a good friend, and good friends could put sleep aside for each other sometimes.I knocked on Amaryllis’ door twice. “Amy?” I asked.“Are you dressed already?” Amaryllis asked. She opened the door, then stared at me and Awen. Both of us were in our usual sleeping clothes. “Did you forget where you put your outfits?” she asked.I shook my head, then stepped into the room. “No, we’re, uh, staging an intervention.”“Can you do that tomorrow?”“I don’t think so,” I said. I walked up to Amaryllis and caught her a hug, one that Awen joined in on a moment later. It didn’t last all that long, Amaryllis was too nervous to appreciate a good hug. “Are you okay?”“I'd be better if you were dressed and ready,” Amaryllis said with a huff.“I know. I promise I’ll get dressed right after this. But, uh, we’re a bit worried.”“Well, so am I,” Amaryllis said. “This is big. Really big, Broccoli.”“And it’s a lot of pressure on your shoulders,” I said. “But, uh, I think you’re taking on a bit too much of that weight all on your own.”She glowered. “Well, then take some of it for yourself. I wouldn’t be this stressed if you were up and ready already.”“Uh,” I said. “Amaryllis, it’s very, very early still. Like super-very early. Even if we were all dressed and ready to go, we wouldn’t have anywhere to go to, not for a few hours. I think that maybe you’re trying to overprepare.”Awen nodded. “My uncle used to tell me a lot of stories about his adventures. And sometimes he’d tell me stories of other adventurers and explorers. Some of them used to be super meticulous. They’d scout ahead a lot, bring lots of equipment, and tackle every challenge very carefully. Uncle said that they were some of the very best explorers out there. You remind me a bit of those.”“Thank you, I suppose,” Amaryllis said.“Uncle also said that they tend to get in over their heads as soon as things don’t go according to plan, and things never go according to plan. We both live with Broccoli, we both know that plans don’t work out the way they should.”“Uh,” I said.Amaryllis sighed. “Fine,” she said. “Maybe I’m slightly-very slightly-too nervous about today for my own good. You can give me another hug, if you want.”I laughed as I gave her another, even better, hug. Amaryllis saying that meant that she really wanted the hug, I figured. “So, can we go back to sleep now?”“Oh, it’s probably too late for that,” Awen said. “Besides, the sun is coming up.”I glanced out of the nearest window, and saw that Awen was right, the darkness outside was lightening up. Not quickly, but it was undeniably getting brighter. In a few more minutes I bet the world would be all blue, and then the sun would be properly on the horizon and everything would come awake.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.“When does the summit start?” I asked.“Technically at noon,” Amaryllis said. “There’s the opening statements, then a luncheon before the main event begins. So we need to be there at least an hour before noon.”“That’s plenty of time to get dressed. What else do you need to prepare?”Amaryllis gestured vaguely in the direction of the living room. “I should practice my speech some more. Also, getting a refresher on all the things I need to know wouldn’t hurt.”“Fine then,” I said. “Awen and I will get dressed, then we’ll go have breakfast together, then we’ll head over to the summit and you can practice your speech on the way over.”Amaryllis nodded. “Fine, fine.” She took a deep breath and let it all out at once. I made sure to give her a last squeeze to help get the last of the stress out, like toothpaste at the end of a tube. I would make tea in a moment. Something to calm her down and keep her awake.I let go, then rushed back to my room. We didn’t bring a lot of luggage with us from the Beaver Cleaver but I did have a few things. I really had to get around to buying more outfits, as it was I had exactly two things I could wear, my armour and the one nice outfit I’d gotten for that ball in Fort Sylphrot. A girl ought to have more than two things she could wear.Cleaning magic was making it too easy not to bother having any changes of clothes.My dress was less a dress and more of a suit, with flowy pants and a nice blouse and a well-tailored jacket. It made me look very adult and serious. It even had a hole over the bum for my tail!A knock at my door had me bouncing over to open it. Awen was standing there, with a platter in one hand. “I’ve got some makeup stuff,” she said. “Did you want me to help you with yours?”“Uh, sure,” I said.I didn’t have anything like that. Then again, adventuring didn’t usually require much by way of makeup, and besides I was never great at using that kind of thing. At most I liked using lip balms because the flavoured ones were tasty and they were nice in the cold.I sat down in front of a little vanity in the corner of the room, and Awen went to work attacking my face with powders and creams. She didn’t say anything, so I figured she knew what she was doing. The end result, some ten minutes later, was quite nice. “It looks like I’m blushing a little,” I said, peering into the mirror.Awen nodded. “Putting makeup on you is just so easy. You have the Adorable skill, right?”“N-yes?”She shook her head. “And you don’t even want it. You know, you’re very silly, Broc.”I pouted. No. I pouted prettily.Awen rolled her eyes, then gestured out into the living room. “Amaryllis is probably ready by now, I still need to get into my own dress. Want to go distract her while I get ready?”“Sure,” I said. It was better than talking about Adorable. I really had to get my hands on one of those chivalry skills so that I could transform it into something more useful.I helped Amaryllis-who had changed into her own ball gown, which was quite pretty-pack up her notes in a satchel. Then I spent a couple of minutes convincing her that we didn’t need to bring every history book and all of the notes she made, especially since they’d fill up three or four luggage bags and be hard to carry with us.“I’m ready,” Awen said as she stepped out of her room. She’d done something with her hair, sticking it up in a ring of braids around the crown of her head.“Oh, you both look very pretty,” I said.“Awa, don’t say that,” Awen said. “Do we know how we’re getting to the summit?”“Of course we do,” Amaryllis said. “I had the innkeep reserve a carriage for us. We’re not going to walk across the city dressed like this.”“It wouldn’t be too bad, I don’t think,” I said. “I could keep things clean.”“Sure, but think of the message it sends. Besides, I’m stressed about this enough, I don’t need to be stressed and exhausted at the same time.”I gave her another hug, because hugs were free to give, and then grabbed her by the talon. “Breakfast first.”“I’m not hungry,” Amaryllis said.“Then it’ll be a light breakfast for you. But you don’t want to be hungry on stage, and you don’t want your tummy rumbling during the summit. Oh, and you’ll want to use the bathroom before you start your speech.”“I can take care of myself, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“Sure,” I replied.Awen and I still dragged her over to the inn’s dining room where we got a quick breakfast. Mostly it was fluffy pancakes and a bunch of fresh fruit with some sugary sauces to dip them in. Light but sweet stuff.Once everything was eaten up (we made sure Amaryllis had a few bites) and I sprinkled some Cleaning magic around to keep hands and talons clean, we headed all the way downstairs where a member of the inn’s staff had us wait for the carriage to be prepared.Amaryllis paced back and forth, of course. Eventually she started to mutter her way through her speech, with Awen and I listening and telling her that she’d do just fine.Soon enough we were led up onto a neat carriage behind a pair of big horses, and we were off to the summit.Everything was going to be just fine. At least, that’s what I kept telling my nervous bird friend.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Hugs and Wishes
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Hugs and Wishes The Summit was an important event. It couldn’t just take place in any old building.“Whoa,” I said as I leaned out of the carriage’s window. I had to shake my head because one of my ears stayed stuck inside. “That’s so pretty!”The building was just past the purple district, near the northernmost end of Goldenalden and pressed right up against the rising side of the mountain. It stuck out of the mountainside, the very back of the edifice merging into the sheer wall of stone.It was like a cathedral, cavernous, with a peaked roof and a facade covered in careful stonework and colourful windows that were warped and shaped to produce great images. I didn’t know that the sylph used stained glass, at least, I hadn’t noticed any anywhere else.Two narrow towers stood out at the front, each on a corner and rising to be half again the height of the palace itself.“I think that’s the old palace,” Amaryllis said. She didn’t sound entirely sure about that though.“It’s very nice,” Awen agreed.Our carriage moved off the main road and onto a rounded pathway made of inlaid bricks that circled around the front of the summit building. The wheels clacked and clattered over the cobbles, announcing our approach. We weren’t the only ones there, of course. A few other carriages were waiting by the front, and we had to settle in behind them to wait.I was about to stick my head back into the carriage when I saw a familiar face step out of her own. “Caprica!” I shouted.The princess turned our way, noticed me dangling out of the side of our carriage, then placed a gloved hand over her mouth to hide a smile. She gestured to her guards, then walked over. “Hello Broccoli,” she said.“Hey! How are you doing?”“I’m very well, thank you. Are you going to come out or will you wait until you’re at the front of the line?”I glanced ahead. Whoever was in the next carriage was taking their sweet time. “I guess we can get out here just fine,” I said.Amaryllis sighed. “I didn’t expect decorum to last, but I didn’t expect it to fall apart so soon,” she said. “Come on, let’s all get out here. Might as well roll with it and make a scene.”Laughing, I shoved myself back into the carriage, then opened the door properly. I landed next to it, then reached up to help Amaryllis and Awen down. They had big skirts, which made using the tiny steps on the side of the carriage a bit tricky.“You all look very fine this morning,” Caprica said.“Thank you!” I said. “I have fancy pants. I like your dress, by the way.”Caprica had changed from her usual military-ish uniform into a deep red dress with a bit of black lacework along the hems. It was a very tight dress, with big pads at the shoulders and a bow on her lower back that made it look like her wings were longer. I gasped as I realized that her skirts were actually two loose pant legs.“Why thank you,” Caprica said. “I don’t prefer this kind of dress, but it is the sort of occasion where it’s appropriate. Father’s here, and while he doesn’t care what we wear in our day-to-day, he might whine if I showed up to this kind of thing in pants.”“The king is here?” Amaryllis asked.“The king is whiney?” Awen asked right after.“Yes, to both,” Caprica said with a poorly stifled laugh. “Come on, maybe I can have you meet him before all the speeches start and your image of him is ruined. He’s a good public speaker but his talks get a little long-winded.”“If everyone here is quite done speaking ill of the king,” Amaryllis said, “we should head in.”“Certainly,” Caprica said. “Have you seen the old palace before?”“No,” I said as I bounced up next to her. “It’s really nice though, and it looks different from all the other buildings I’ve seen here.”Caprica nodded along. “It predates a lot of the city. Once, when Goldenalden was but a tiny town, the entirety of the city was partially underground, and the old palace served as something of an entrance to that. Once things expanded the style of construction changed significantly. The old palace was almost entirely built by a legendary stone mage who sculpted it out of the mountain.”“Whoa,” I said.“The art isn’t lost, but it’s not as common as it once was. Sylph talents tend to lie in areas other than earth and stone,” Caprica said.We chatted about nothing while heading up to the front of the old palace. There were more paladins here than I’d ever seen before. One on either side of the entranceway, and a third just inside, all stoic and motionless, as if they were deadly statues.I noticed that the others entering-mostly sylph, but there were some grenoil there too, and a small group of cervid were standing just past the entrance-were pausing before an armoured figure who would touch them on their shoulders or forearms before they could move on. It was only when I was a bit closer that I noticed that the figure doing the checks was familiar.“Is that Bastion?” I asked. His armour was a little bit fancier, and a lot shinier than when I’d last seen him.“Bastion?” Caprica asked. “Oh.”It didn’t take long for the line ahead of us to thin enough that we were next. “Forgive me for the intrusion, but because of the heightened security of this event, I will have to touch you lightly,” Bastion said. Then his eyes scanned over our group and the seriousness in them faded a little.“Hey!” I said.“Hello Broccoli,” he said. “Amaryllis, Awen.” He nodded to both, then bowed at the hip. “Princess Caprica.”“So, you need to touch us?” I asked. “Do hugs count?”He chuckled. “That wouldn’t exactly fit the protocol, but then when did you ever care for that?”The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.“That’s true,” I said before I stepped up and pulled Bastion into a big, tight-tight hug. I had to squeeze extra hard so that he’d feel it through all that armour.“It’s nice to see you again, Bastion,” Amaryllis said. “Did you get promoted? The armour’s new.”Bastion patted my back while he answered. “It’s a more formal set, for events such as these. Not quite as practical, I’m afraid.”“It looks nice,” Awen said. “How are you?”“I’m quite well. It really is nice to see you three. And you of course, Princess Caprica.”I ended my hug-there were people in line, and it wasn’t nice to keep them waiting, even if hugs are important-and stepped back from Bastion. I glanced over to the others, then blinked as I noticed Caprica.She was standing stiff, face a strange shade of red. “H-hi,” she squeaked.“Hello, your majesty. Please forgive my lack of professionalism. Though from what I’ve heard, you have spent some time with these three already.”“Don’t bunch me in with Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“You don’t mind being bunched in with me?” Awen asked.Amaryllis huffed. “You’re strange, but not nearly as bad as Broccoli.”“T-that’s fine,” Caprica said. It sounded like she was trying not to choke.I glanced back at Bastion, then back to Caprica. “Wow,” I muttered. “So, uh, maybe we should all head in? After Bastion hugs everyone, of course.”Caprica’s face reddened even more, somehow.“I think I’ll reserve my hugs for you, Broccoli,” Bastion said with a chuckle. He reached out a hand towards Amaryllis who touched it lightly before walking past. Awen did the same, then Caprica slipped by Bastion. He didn’t seem to care that she hadn’t paused to let him touch her. I guess that was normal for a royal.“We’ll see you again, right?” I asked.“I’ll be at the summit all day,” he said.“Good! You promised me a ride with the air guard you know. I didn’t forget.”He patted me on the shoulder, then nodded into the building. “I’ll make some time for you, no worries. The main hall’s accessible from the left. There’s a break room to the right if you need to freshen up.”I laughed as I reached back and grabbed Caprica’s hand and led her into the old palace. The entrance hall was a bit cramped, with a corridor that led around what looked like a wide open room in the centre of the building. We moved to the side, next to one of the entrances that was quieter.“Are you okay?” I asked Caprica as I let go of her.She rubbed at her hand, took a deep breath, stuck her nose up as high as it would go, then said, “I’m perfectly fine, thank you.”“Are you sure?” Amaryllis asked. “I was almost convinced that you were going to faint back there.”“I would hardly faint,” Caprica said.Awen took a small step closer to the princess and placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay,” she said.Caprica’s cheeks reddened again. “It’s not what you think.”“So you don’t have a hopeless crush on Bastion?” I asked.“It’s not hopeless!”One of Amaryllis’ eyebrows rose up. “How old is Bastion?”“There’s only two and a half years between us,” Caprica said. “There’s nothing inappropriate there.”“Except that you’re a princess and he’s merely a paladin,” Amaryllis added.Caprica crossed her arms. “Mother was a paladin before she married Father. There’s a clear and obvious precedent. B-besides, I don’t have to explain anything to you.”I walked over to Caprica, then gave her a hug. It looked like she really needed it. “It’s okay. We’re your friends, so we were just a bit surprised and worried is all.”Caprica was a bit of a stiff hugger. Actually, that did give her one thing in common with Bastion. “Thank you, Captain Bunch.”“No no,” I said. “Don’t call me Captain Bunch, that’s just you trying to put some distance between us, but I’ve already decided that you’re my friend, and there’s no distance between us because we’re literally hugging right now.”“...What?” Caprica said.“Give up,” Awen said. “You’ve been chosen to be Broccoli’s friend. There’s no escaping it now.”Amaryllis reached over and tugged the back of my collar so that I had to let go of Caprica. “Jokes aside, Caprica, I don’t think you need to worry about what we think. Nor are we likely to blackmail you or anything. If anything you should worry more about Broccoli’s fumbling matchmaking attempts.”“Hey, my Matchmaking skill is only at Rank D. It could use more practice.”Amaryllis clapped her wings. “Let’s focus a little, shall we? We didn’t come here to save Caprica’s doomed lovelife.”“Doomed?”“We’re here,” Amaryllis continued. “To attend the summit and convince the world not to go to war. I think that takes priority over Caprica doing whatever disgusting things you mammals do when you love each other.”“You’re right,” I said.“She is not!”I nodded. “We need to put on our serious faces. Caprica, we’ll arrange a date between you and Bastion later. For now, it’s time to save the world.”“Do you want to go over your speech one last time?” Awen asked.“I wouldn’t mind that, but I think the pre-event is important too. It’s one of the only chances I’ll have to meet all the speakers. They might leave as soon as it's over, and this way I can make a better impression,” Amaryllis said.“Cool! So, we stick together, find our targets, then ambush them with friendliness.”“Yes, that, but more diplomatically. In fact, let me handle most of the talking. We’ll use you like a sort of social battering ram if they’re too obstinate,” Amaryllis said. “Oh, Caprica, did you want to help us too?”Caprica’s mouth opened and closed a few times. Then she frowned and glared at us.“Fine,” she finally settled on.
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Free Action
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Free Action “This is my father,” Caprica said. She smiled as she gestured towards an older sylph man. He was a bit shorter than Caprica herself, with greying hair and a thin, almost emaciated visage. He wore a military-esque uniform, though unlike those of the high-ranking officers around him, there were few embellishments on his. He could have passed for a new lieutenant if it wasn’t for the grave look in his eyes and the crown atop his head.“Ah, so these are the new friends Gabby has been going on and on about,” the king said. He smiled, and with that one gesture his entire personality seemed to change, from gruff and no-nonsense to... well, to a proud dad.“That’s right,” Caprica said. “This is Amaryllis Albatross. She’ll be representing the harpy today.”“So young! I imagine you’re quite the talent to be in such a position already,” he said.Amaryllis bowed with a flourish of her wings. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot about you and your family back home.”“None of it good, I imagine,” he said with a chuckle. I could tell that some of his guards and... flunkies, bristled at the implication.“I’m afraid not,” Amaryllis admitted. “But so far I think I’ve found that what’s said and what’s true isn’t quite the same. Caprica has become a good friend, and we spent a lot of time with Paladin Bastion on the trip over. He proved a very capable and agreeable travelling companion.”“Ah yes, Bastion. I think I might have heard a thing or two about him,” the king said. His lips twitched as he glanced to Caprica. She blushed up to her roots, but it left almost as soon as it appeared.“These are my other new friends,” Caprica continued. “Awen Bristlecone, from Mattergrove, and Captain Broccoli Bunch from, the, ah, Beaver Cleaver.”“Oh, I never did say where I was from, did I?” I asked. “I’m from Canada.”“I’ve never heard of Canada, is it a small village?” the king asked.I nodded. “That’s what it means, yeah.”“Interesting. You seem to be a diverse-enough group, good folk from all over,” he said. “That's a great way to have a healthy exchange of ideas.”“And making all sorts of friends is important,” I said. “You can’t just make the one sort, or else that would hardly be any fun.”The king eyed me for a moment, then shrugged. “I suppose you’re not entirely wrong. I’m afraid that Sylphfree hasn't been graced with as much diversity as you might prefer.”“That’s okay!” I said. “This whole summit is about listening to each other, isn’t it? I can’t think of a better time to start considering things from other people’s points of view than when they’re literally going to tell you what those are.”The king laughed, a single bark of good humour that had his shoulder shaking. “I suppose there’s some worth in bluntness. Interesting companions you’ve found, Caprica.”“Yes father,” Caprica said. “They’re very much interesting.”“I’d love to talk more, but my life has never not been busy, and today is no exception to that. Good day, ladies Albatross, Bristlecone, and to you, Captain Bunch.”The king gave us a nod, then turned towards his daughter. He unfolded his hands from the small of his back, then brought them up before him. I knew an invitation for a hug when I saw one.“Father, not in front of all the guards,” Caprica said.“Come now, not even before my big speech?” he asked with a gesture to the room around him. There had to be a couple of hundred people gathered in the grand hall already.“Oh, fine,” Caprica said. She gave her father a very quick and very reserved sort of hug. I giggled, in spite of myself, and she glared at me as she stepped back from her dad.Once the king and his retinue were off, Caprica turned back to us. “Did anyone indicate where you should go?” she asked Amaryllis.“No, not so far,” Amaryllis said.Caprica walked past. “In that case, follow me.”The grand hall of the old palace was arranged so that there were three big rows of seats all pointing towards a big stage at the back of the room. Little boxes on the floors above also allowed people to look down onto the stage from a position of some safety. A few sylph were flapping their way up to those upper-floor...“Hey, what are those boxes called?” I pointed to the nooks above.“Boxes,” Amaryllis said.“Huh, alright,” I said. “I’ve never been to one of those, they’re fancy.”“Well, you have one all to yourselves,” Caprica said. “Each delegation has one near the front. Mostly as a position of pride, but also so that the speakers have easier, more discreet access to the stage.”“I thought this would be less a presentation and more of an open forum kind of thing,” I said.“Oh, that will be later,” Amaryllis said. “I imagine they’ll rearrange things for that part of the summit.”“Tables will be brought in, yes,” Caprica said. “And we have sound mages that can ensure that everything spoken at the table will be heard by everyone in the room.”I nodded along, then glanced at Amaryllis. “You don’t have stage fright, right?”“Of course I don’t,” she said.“Oh, good,” I said.Caprica led us across the very front of the room, just under the lip of the stage. It was a bit emptier up at the front, and there were fewer nobles.At the side of the sides of the room were large doors-guarded by a pair of sylphs, of course, because the sylphs seem to have as many guards as they did citizens-which we passed through into a luxuriously appointed corridor. There was a stairway at one end, and the corridor continued on in the same direction as the stage in the other.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“What’s that door?” I asked, pointing to one door that seemed a bit different. It didn’t have the same pretty decorations as all the rest.“I think that’s access to the basement,” Caprica said. She didn’t sound entirely sure.We climbed up the stairs to the second floor where there were entrances to the boxes set a few metres apart from each other. Ours had a little placard in front of it with ‘Harpy Delegation’ written on it in a nice cursive print that was so fancy it was barely legible.The box had comfy looking sofas along the edges, as well as some rather tall seats in the middle that allowed us to see over the rails on the edge and into the main room.I clambered onto one of the cushioned seats, then leaned way forwards so that I could take in the entire hall below. Even though the summit wasn’t going to properly start for another little while, the room was already filling up quite nicely. Some people were at their seats, but it looked like most were just milling around and talking.I noticed a group of cervid off to one side, with Rowan and Nathan standing tall enough that I could make them out from the rest. No sign of Ellie, but she would be a bit harder to spot.There were the grenoil too. Even if their delegation was a bit smaller, they still made a good showing. Grenoil gentlefrogs in nice suits talking—or rather conversing since this was a fancy sort of event—with interested sylph while hanging onto goblets of wine or somesuch.“Whoa, I didn’t realise how high these boxes were from down there.”“You really make yourself sound like such a competent captain,” Amaryllis said.I giggled as I leaned back into the seat and away from the edge. “Fine, fine. I’ll just have to be careful not to fall. So, when does it all start?”Amaryllis glanced up, and following her gaze I noticed a big clock above the stage for the first time. “We have another ten minutes. I imagine that’s why the king left, he needs to prepare his own parts for all of this.”“Oh, I doubt it,” Caprica said. “He puts on airs of being prepared, but most of the time he leaves whatever speech was written for him behind and just wings the entire thing. Fortunately he’s fairly good at coming up with convincing arguments and riling people up.”“I suppose he would have to be, being king and all,” Awen said.Caprica shrugged. “He might be king, but he will always be my rather embarrassing father to me.”“Sounds like there’s a story or two there,” I said. I was about to tease Caprica some more, but the loud blaring of a horn had my head snapping around towards the stage. The horn was soon joined by strings and flutes as a band started to play a big bombastic piece. “Whoa!” I said.The music was so loud I almost had to fold my ears back not to be deafened, but even so, it made me grin. I’d never been to an orchestra before.“I should head out,” Caprica said. “My seat is with my family. Amaryllis, I can show you to the staging area right now. I imagine you’ll be able to find your way back up here?”“I should be able to manage,” Amaryllis said.“Wait!” I said. I got up and ran around. “Hug for good luck,” I said.She rolled her eyes, but raised her arms all the same. I’d trained her well! I gave her a good squeeze, then stepped back and let Awen give her a hug too.“Kick butt out there, alright?” I asked.“I’ll do my best to impress,” Amaryllis said.I waved to Caprica, and we promised that we’d meet again during the intermission in an hour or so. Caprica said that she knew where to find the non-alcoholic drinks.And then they left, leaving the box with just me and Awen.“Whelp,” I said as I sat back down, “now we wait, I guess.”“I suppose so,” Awen said. She didn’t sit down just yet though. “I think I need to use the lady’s room. I don’t want to miss Amaryllis’ part.”“That’s not a bad idea,” I said. I stood back up, again, then gestured to the door. “I’ll go with you. That way if we get lost, we’ll be lost together.”Awen giggled, but she didn’t protest.We slipped back into the corridor, then looked around for signs pointing to the washrooms. Finding none, we started down the corridor and down the steps to the level below. There was a ladies room there, one with barely any line at all. Awen and I stepped up behind an older sylph lady and waited while talking about nothing much.It was probably because I was both bored and anxious that I noticed the musician. The sylph had the same uniform as the sylph on stage. A large bag hung by his side, seemingly some sort of heavy instrument case.My eyes skipped over him, then back. Something about his face was familiar.I saw him glance our way and our eyes met.I smiled and waved, and I saw him glare for a moment before he slipped past, walking fast. A bit too fast?What was he doing here? And where had I seen him?“Broc?”I turned to Awen. She pointed to the washroom door, which didn’t have a line in front of it anymore.“Oh, right,” I said. “Sorry, it’s just... Awen, I have a weird feeling.”“Like a stomachache?” Awen asked. “I have things for that.” She touched her little purse.“No, not that, I...” I glanced back down the corridor.I had seen that sylph once before. I was sure of it.“I think I’m going to go do something illegal,” I said. “Want to come with?”“Can I use the washroom first?” Awen asked.“Sure!”
* * *
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Nine — My Bunny Sense Is Tingling
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Nine — My Bunny Sense Is Tingling Tracking down the strange musician wasn’t as easy as I expected it to be. It wasn’t like we were outside where he might have left footprints on the ground or anything. This was a nicely appointed building, and while there might have been a scuff or two on the carpet that would give someone with a tracking skill enough to go on, I wasn’t that person.“Dang,” I said.“He can’t have gone too far,” Awen said. She looked up and down the corridor.It seemed unlikely that he’d backtrack, so I ruled that out. It wasn’t impossible, but it was less likely, I thought. That left... every other direction, which was a lot of directions.He could have gone into the main hall, but that would mean bumping into politicians and diplomats and important people. That felt unlikely; he would stick out like a sore thumb. So, that left the back rooms behind the stage, and maybe the basement.The stage was a more obvious choice. If the maybe-mysterious musician was just an ordinary-unmysterious musician, then it made sense that he’d head for the stage where all the other musicians were currently playing for the crowd. maybe he was part of another act?“Come on,” I said. “We’ll look backstage and then if he’s not there, we can start looking elsewhere.”Awen nodded as she stepped up next to me, skirts swirling around in a pretty way. “Broccoli?”“Yeah?”“Are you sure that the person you saw was weird? It could just be someone that works here,” she said.I considered it. “You might be right,” I said. “You’re probably right, even.”“Then why are we chasing after them?”“Because... I don’t know,” I said. “I know I saw them before. It’s like a word on the tip of my tongue, but a person’s face instead. Uh, not a face on the tip of my tongue, that’d be weird.”Awen giggled. “Let’s not start licking people, please. I think the sylph think we’re strange enough without us doing anything like that.”I nodded. “I promise I won’t lick anyone.”“Good,” Awen said. “Now, where did you see them last?”“Uh, I don’t know. I think that’s part of not remembering.”“Was it in Goldenalden?” Awen asked.I frowned. “No, I don’t think so. Before that, maybe?”“We didn’t see that many sylph before arriving in Sylphfree. You did head out at that one town, uh, the one near the coast.”“Granite Springs. Yeah, maybe I saw him there?” That didn’t sound quite right. It was really starting to bother me. How could I forget a potential friend I’d met? It was just wrong. I had to set aside my mental search for a moment as Awen and I arrived behind the stage. There was an open doorway, the other side of which wasn’t nearly as well decorated, and the corridor there had racks and heaps of ropes and the sorts of things I guess were normal to find behind a stage.If I was Rainnewt and I was up to no good, where would I go?I didn’t know that it was Rainnewt, of course. I only suspected it, a lot. So much that my tail felt twitchier than usual.There were also two guards at the doors, both of them looking mighty serious. “Hello ma’am, can we assist you?”“Yes!” I said. “In two ways. First, did you see a musician come pass here? A sylph, about this tall.” I brought my hand to around the sylph’s height. “Dark hair. Like brownish-black. I guess about your age? Um, was wearing the same uniform as the people in the orchestra.”“Are they a friend of yours?” the guard asked. “Did they accost you?”“Huh? They might be a friend? They didn't accost me or anything and I'm not sure I've ever seen them before,” I said. “But I’m looking for them now.”The guards glanced at each other. “Why?”“Well, he was a bit suspicious, maybe. Did you see him?”“We didn’t see anyone of the sort, no,” the guard said. “The orchestra all came in from the back.”“Alright, thanks,” I said. “Uh, my other thing! I was wondering if you could get someone for me? Either Princess Caprica or Amaryllis Albatross. She’s a harpy. You can’t miss her.”“Ma’am,” the guard said, “the summit speech is about to begin, perhaps you should return to your seats?”I pouted, but Awen’s hand on my shoulder reminded me that I was maybe being a little bit weird about this. “Fine. Thank you,” I said before turning around.“It’s okay,” Awen said. “You did what you could?”“Yeah, I guess,” I said. “At least we learned one thing, he didn’t come over here.”“Which is a bit weird,” Awen said. “He had a big case with him, right? I think it would be hard to forget someone like that, maybe.”“It would be extra weird if he returned to the main hall,” I said. I paused as we arrived in front of one set of doors. The plain doorway that Caprica had said led into the basement.Awen glanced at it. “You don’t think...”“Maybe,” I said.“I don’t think we’re supposed to go down there,” Awen hesitated.“Just a peek. It’s probably locked anyway.” I reached over and tugged on the door. It opened, the hinge a bit rough, but it was definitely not locked.The room beyond was dark, only lit by the cracked open doorway and little else. There was a staircase, made of wooden planks and lined on all sides by rough-hewn stone walls, as if the entire passage was melted through the rock of the mountain.“I guess he might have gone down there,” Awen said.“I guess,” I said.“Should we go back? Maybe tell the guards?”“I kind of want to go exploring down there,” I said. It looked creepy and dark and fun.Awen sighed. “I knew you’d say that. Let me tie my skirts up a little, I don’t want to trip down the stairs.”“Oh, you could stay up here,” I said. “Watch Amaryllis’ bit to make sure it all goes well.”“Amaryllis will be fine,” Awen said. “But you’re likely to get into a heap of trouble. Someone needs to be there to save you from it.”If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.“I don’t get into that much trouble,” I said.She gave me a look.“No, really. I get into a little bit of trouble here and there, but so far we’ve always gotten out of it just fine.”“That’s nice,” Awen said. “I’m still coming with you, unless you really don’t want me to come?”I crossed my arms. “Don’t be silly, Awen, you’re one of my best friends, of course I want you to get into trouble with me... a little bit of trouble. Probably less than an inconvenience, really.”“Sure,” Awen said. It didn’t sound all that sincere, but she did step up ahead of me, one hand rising a moment before it started to glow faintly as a ball of light appeared.I slipped in next to her, my own hand rising while I tried to copy the same spell. I was a bit out of practice with that one, but it was a simple enough spell that I got it before I was more than a couple of steps down.“Someone’s been here recently,” I said.“The dust on the steps,” Awen said.I nodded, then realized she couldn’t see it. “Yeah, you’re right,” I muttered, almost in a whisper. There were footsteps imprinted onto the steps, leather soles marking a path down and down.The steps went down much lower than just one floor, and by the time we were at the bottom the door we’d entered from was barely visible.The stairs bottomed out in a large room. It was almost a cavern, with sleek stone floors and distant walls. Pillars stood out at even intervals, turning the shadows we cast into choppy lines across the near-emptiness.The basement wasn’t empty-empty, just near-empty. Crates lined the sides, some in big piles, others stacked up in neat rows closer to the centre of the room. There were no signs of our strange musician except for a few faint marks on the dusty ground and maybe a few broken spiderwebs.“He went this way,” Awen said. She knelt next to some of the tracks, then looked up in the direction they flowed in. “This really is getting suspicious,” she whispered.The ceiling was low enough that the little floof hairs on the tips of my ears brushed against it. It made me want to hunch down subconsciously. “Why is the basement here so big?” I whispered.“I think they might have used it as a shelter or something,” Awen whispered back.We started to follow the path our mysterious friend left in the dust. It led around some boxes that looked like they were filled with big cloth banners. I heard a faint ticking sound. It wasn’t just one, there were a few that were echoing across the room, but I figured it was just water dropping, or maybe some old abandoned clock ticking away.I really hoped it was someone collection of antique clocks.As we came around the boxes, the sound grew much louder.“Oh no,” Awen said.A case was left on the ground, the same case that our musician friend had been carrying earlier. It was pressed up against one of the pillars. The case was open, revealing an intricate little machine made of brass and steel. It was like a clock, but next to it was a big barrel that filled most of the case.“I’ve played a lot of musical instruments,” Awen said. “And I’ve seen more. But that’s a new one.”“That looks a bit like a bomb,” I said.“It does look like that, yeah,” Awen said.We both glanced around, but there were no signs of the musician, just a few tracks leading off deeper into the darkness.Awen’s light dimmed. “We might want to be a little less obvious,” she whispered as she moved over to the probably-a-bomb. She knelt next to it, then carefully leaned over the clock-like device on the side.“What is it?” I asked.“A timer. See, there’s a mainspring there, and those gears are turning with its push... and look at that part there, and there. They look like primer rods. See, they’re under tension, and I bet those little plates there are strikers.”“So, definitely a bomb,” I said.“Probably,” Awen said. “It’s pretty complicated, but it looks like it’s set up to be a big timer that goes off at a specific time.”“Do you know when?” I asked.She looked at the mechanism again. “Maybe two hours? It doesn’t exactly have a clockface, so I’m guessing.”“Huh... well, I think we should probably tell the guards,” I said.“That sounds reasonable,” Awen said. “I can disarm this too. It’s got two anti-tampering things, but that’s all I see.”“There could be more.”“I can be careful,” Awen said. “Even if we get the guards, and they believe us, it might take a while to disarm this.”I licked my lips while looking around some more. “Awen, what are the chances that this is the only one?”Awen glanced up at me, then stared at the other pillars. “Low. Just one of these pillars breaking might shake the building up a bit, but I don’t think it’ll bring the whole palace down.”“So you’d need more than one?” I asked.She scanned the area. “If it were me, I’d blow up as many of these pillars as I could. All at the same time. I’m not sure what’s in that box, but it might not be enough to destroy the pillar, so you’d want enough of them going off at once to make sure you took out at least a few of them. Plus the explosion might be contained in the room. It looks pretty solid in here.”“Right,” I said. I didn’t quite know enough about explosions to follow, but I was clever enough to remember that more bombs made for more boom. “Oh.”“What?” Awen asked.I shivered. “I remember where I saw him before,” I said. “In Fort Sylphrot. The ball. The explosion there. We saw a harpy running away, then he transformed into a sylph.” I spun as I heard a scuff, a shoe scraping on stone. “It’s Rainnewt.”Rainnewt clapped slowly, the sound echoing out into the empty space. His face was set in a sardonic grin. “You are one persistent bun, you know that?”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred — The World is Diseased, And I Alone Can Cure It
Chapter Three Hundred — The World is Diseased, And I Alone Can Cure It “Rainnewt,” I said.The man across from me was recognizably Rainnewt. A tall-ish human man, in a well-cut suit and long coat. He clearly had some sort of breastplate under the coat, and he had greaves fixed to his legs too, painted some dark, light-absorbing black that matched the rest of his outfit.I could only make out so many details. He had a small light hovering around him, but it wasn’t very bright, and the basement’s darkness cast deep shadows on everything.“Hello, Miss Bunch,” he said.I glanced back at Awen, who shared a look with me. She tilted her head subtly towards the bomb, then nodded.I nodded back. I’d take care of Rainnewt, she could work on making sure the entire building didn’t fall down on our heads.“Are you done planning with your little friend?” he asked.“Not yet, no,” I said truthfully. “But I don’t think you’re going to be giving us a lot of time to chit-chat.”One of Rainnewt’s eyebrows rose. He reached into his jacket and I tensed a little until he pulled out a timepiece that he flicked open. “No, we still have a good ten minutes to talk. I do intend to be gone long before that, of course.”I balled my hands into fists by my sides. I didn’t have anything like a weapon on hand, just... crates and the bomb, and pieces of crates and maybe Awen. “So, did you stop to gloat?” I asked.“Nothing quite so crass, no,” he said with a shake of his head. “I had a few questions, actually. Perhaps even an explanation. I suspect that we’re working on the same side, and... well, maybe I was a little wrong in how I acted towards you before. So I wanted to apologise too. Sincerely.”I blinked, then narrowed my eyes while I inspected him.Bright Clearnote, Musician, level 10, nervous and late“Bright Clearnote?” I asked, confused.“Oh,” Rainnewt said. He chuckled, then made a gesture as if brushing off some dust from his suit. “Try again?”Quincy Rainnewt, Manyfaced Hero, level ???, curious“Do you have a skill that hides your name?” I asked.“I wouldn’t be able to infiltrate places very well if the first person with an Inspect-like skill could reveal me,” he said. “This is my real name and class, for what it’s worth. Tell me, did the system allow you to change your name?”“What?” I asked. “No, this is my name. I didn’t have ears before, but you met me before I got those, didn’t you?”“Huh,” he said. “So your name is actually Broccoli?”“Since I was born, yeah,” I said.He rubbed at his chin. “Wow. Is that a common name where you’re from? Because I’m thinking that maybe we’re not from the same world.”“Oh, no, Broccoli’s a pretty unique name,” I said. “My parents were hippies.”“That could explain it,” he said. “Perhaps we are from the same Earth. The World seems to be more than willing to take whomever is willing to accomplish its goals.”I peeked back again. Awen was sweating as she toyed with the bomb. I noted that Rainnewt was still a good ways away. Was he standing outside of the range of the explosive? “Why are you doing all of this?” I asked.“I imagine you’re referring to both the destruction of this summit and the war overall?” he asked.I nodded, then watched carefully as he stepped to the side, then hopped backwards to sit on the edge of a crate. He was very casual about it all.“It’s rather simple, Broccoli. Well, no, in actuality it’s a complex mess of deep-rooted political issues, long-standing rivalries, and a nice helping of prejudice. But I think I’ve worked out a solution to it all.”"Did-" I swallowed. "Did the World ask you to start a war?" I asked, horror colouring my tone.“Oh, no no. The war is just one part of a much greater plan. A phase that I’m hoping will go well. This summit is one of the last steps towards ensuring that all involved nations are primed for what might be Dirt’s first truly massive war.”“Why?” I asked. “You know that a lot of people will die, why are you doing it?”“Hmm? Oh, I won’t go into all of the details,” he said. “If you leave here knowing everything, you might ruin some parts of the plan. No, I think I’ll be playing most of these cards close to the chest.”I shook my head. “I don’t get it. The World asked me to get rid of those Evil Roots. Didn't it ask you the same thing?”“Oh, it did,” he said. “I’m just being effective about it.”"You don't need to start a war!" I cried out. "You can destroy the roots without breaking the dungeons.”Rainnewt blinked. “Really?”“Yes!” I shouted. “Cleaning magic! You need it at a high rank, and then you can just wipe the root away. It’s worked so far.”“Oh, that’s fascinating to know,” he said. “Well, too late to back out of my plan now. Still, thank you. I’ll be sure to have the information distributed around; it could save us some trouble in the future. It would be unfortunate to see some of the infected dungeons be destroyed.”“So you’ll stop the war?” I tried. “Turn off the bombs?” I was practically pleading. If he could just stop all of this, then...He snorted. “No.”“We could be friends if you did,” I said. “I guess. I... please?”Quincy RainnewtDesired Quality: Someone who will assist them in taking over the world.Dream: To save the world in his image.“I’m certain we could be great friends,” Rainnewt said. “Or maybe not. Honestly, it seems our methodologies are far too different for a partnership to work out.”The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.“Broccoli,” Awen whispered. “It’s disarmed.”I didn’t say anything to Awen, I didn’t want Rainnewt to know that this bomb was off. I imagined there were a number of other bombs hidden around the room. “Why are you talking to me, then?” I asked. “Instead of fighting us?”Rainnewt looked like he was actually considering the question. “You might have been foiling a few of my plans, in small ways, but for the most part I can’t really fault you for that. I’m not entirely unable to put myself in your shoes, you know? Besides, our end-goals are the same. You’ve discovered a new way to take care of the Evil Roots, which... well, I would never have tried, so clearly you’ve proven your worth. Besides, I think some parts of our philosophy match up quite well.”“I’m not trying to start a big war,” I said.“No, not that part,” Rainnewt said. “Your level. When we first met you were... oh, I can’t actually remember. That was a while ago, in Port Royal. You still only had one class, you were weak, even compared to the average person on Dirt, but you know what made you different?”“What?” I asked. Maybe if I could keep him talking, help would arrive? But no, we didn’t exactly tell anyone we’d be sneaking into the basement.“You were trying to improve. You must feel it too, right? People here can grow! It’s a tangible thing, effort is actually rewarded directly.” He raised his arms, like a priest at the pulpit. “And yet the people of Dirt, with few exceptions, refuse to excel! Do you know what the average level is? I’ve looked into it, both here and in Port Royal. It’s thirteen. Thirteen!”“Is that bad?” I asked. That was a little bit higher than my own level, wasn’t it?“Broccoli, it means that most people never bother pushing themselves past their tenth level. A few exceptions exist, but then they tend to stop at the very next tier. Dirt affords people the possibility of infinite growth and instead most people grasp for the bare minimum and just... stop. It’s infuriating!”“Uh,” I said.Rainnewt lowered his arms with a sigh. “I’m being a little melodramatic, aren’t I? Forgive me, this work leaves me with no one to talk to for long stretches, so I have a good number of pent up rants.”“You know, I always give my friends all the time they need to rant,” I said. “I... I don’t know if I can forgive you for everything you’ve done, but I’ve never said no to a potential friend before, if you want. We could work to set things right? Find another way to fix things?”He smiled. For a moment, I had hope. “You’re not a bad person, maybe,” he said. “Manipulative, but innocently so. Maybe if we had met a month earlier I’d be tempted by your offer.” He bounced off the crate and onto his feet. Then he pulled out his timepiece again. “I’d love to stay and chat, but if I don’t leave soon, I’ll become collateral to my own plan, and that would be a disappointing way to go.”“You're leaving?” I asked.“I wasn’t going to stay in the room with all the explosives,” he said. “You should consider running too. There’s plenty of time to make it out of the old palace before it collapses.”“Wait!” I called out.“I don’t think I will, no,” he said. “Good luck! Do keep up the good work. I’ll appreciate it, even if the World doesn’t.”Rainnewt took off at a walk, but his long legs meant he was out of sight past some pillars and crates, the darkness of the room swallowing him whole.I spun towards Awen. “The bombs, do you think you can take them out?”“Awa! I’ll try,” Awen said.“If you can’t, just run. Tell the guards, tell Caprica and Amaryllis and... and everyone else!”“Broccoli, where are you going?” Awen asked, even if it was obvious.I grinned at her. “I’m going to kick Rainnewt’s butt.”I bounced off after Rainnewt, a bit of extra mana shoved into my lightball to illuminate the room around me. I flew past a second bomb, tucked up against another pillar before I spotted him at the far end of the room. There was a heavy metal door that he casually slid aside before disappearing beyond it.Pushing myself to move faster, I bounced after Rainnewt.It was probably not the smartest thing to do. Catching him wouldn’t unexplode the bombs if they went off. But then, if I didn’t catch him, he could try something like this again. And if what he said about being disappointed that the people on Dirt didn’t work hard enough was true, then the next time I saw him he’d be that much stronger. I couldn’t let him get away.I burst through the door and into a long, narrow corridor. It was all stone, carefully smoothed and worked with little patterns. At the end of the corridor was another doorway.I slid to a stop next to it, then twisted the latch around. It wasn’t locked, but it was really heavy. I had to plant my feet against the ground to push it open. When it finally swung aside, I stepped into another room, then stopped.My light could only reach so far into the massive, engulfing darkness, but it was enough to make out some of the details of what I was seeing.It was a city. Or maybe a town. Dozens of homes, all short and squat, along a main road with alleys and sideroads branching off to the sides. Pillars rose up,holding up the uneven ceiling.An entire town, hidden inside the mountain, and obviously long abandoned.I locked onto Rainnewt, who was a good ways down the main street of the town.I could wonder about what I’d found later. For now, I had to catch up to him!“Rainnewt! Wait! I promised that I would kick your butt!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and One — True Colours
Chapter Three Hundred and One — True Colours I glanced around the old city, peering through the darkness while searching for something I could use as a makeshift weapon. There wasn’t much, unfortunately. Some of the homes had gutters which I imagined I could rip off. (Why did they have gutters? They were underground, it couldn’t rain here right?) Some had windows on their fronts with sharpened jaws of broken glass opening into the deeper darkness in the abandoned homes. A cart or two was left to decay along the roadsides.Nothing easy to grab, no obvious gardening tools, no street lamps or a handy pile of buckets and spades.I grit my teeth and gave up on the search for the moment. If I stumbled on something, then that’d be great, but I couldn’t lose sight of what I was here for just for that.Rainnewt was maybe halfway down the street, walking at a brisk pace towards the far end of the little city.I grunted as I shot after him, pouring a bit of stamina into my legs to give me a bit of an edge. I’d need it.Rainnewt was a lot stronger than I was, at least with raw levels. The only person I’d fought who was that far ahead of me was Bastion, and he kicked my butt in every spar while also clearly holding back.Hopefully Rainnewt's abilities weren't combat oriented. He seemed focused on deception, so it was a possibility that I could gamble on.I hopped up and onto the flat roof of one of the nearby homes, feet thump-thumping on rusty old tin as I ran for all I was worth.Rainnewt turned and looked up just as I jumped off the roof and came flying towards him. I put my heels together and kicked down.My feet passed right through Rainnewt, as if he was made of so much smoke.His body dissolved, leaving me to crash feet-first into the ground.I turned the rough landing into a roll and bounced back onto my feet.“You’re pretty fast,” Rainnewt said. He was standing a few feet to the right of where I’d tried to kick him. “But you’re a little... What would be a polite way of putting this? Loud? Unstealthy? Obvious?”“Was that a clone?” I asked.“What? Oh, no, that was just an illusion. Do you have any idea how many dungeons I’ve cleared?”“Uh,” I said. “A dozen, maybe?”“A few more than that,” he said. “Most of them solo. Now, to be fair, I try not to overestimate myself. I do know the value of preparing for a fight, but still, perhaps underestimate me a little less?”I swallowed back a pout. “I wasn’t underestimating you, I’m fighting you knowing that you’re probably way stronger than me.”“Ah, so it’s... bravery, then, not stupidity. Though I guess there’s a little bit of that as well.” He nodded as if he understood something that was obvious. “That’s entirely fair. In either case, I don’t intend to fight you, so perhaps you could just move along? I’m almost certain that this part of the old city won’t be destroyed by those bombs, and there are a few tunnels leading back to the surface here. You could be safe.””I don’t want to be safe,” I said. “I want to... I don’t know.” I shook my head, ears bending back while I brought my hands up in two little fists. I didn’t know how to box or anything, but I’d figure it out. “I think you’re wrong. Super wrong, and I don’t want you to continue.”“So, what’s your plan exactly, Broccoli? I do think I’m stronger than you, I’m definitely more experienced, time is on my side, and even if you do beat me, then what? You’ll unexplode the king?”I frowned at him, then whipped a spray of Cleaning magic at him.It sliced right through whatever mana he was using to make his illusion.“So, you’re not a shapeshifter,” I said as I started to look around for Rainnewt. He had to be close... I hoped.“Oh, I am a shapeshifter,” The illusory Rainnewt said.I jumped to the side and flung out a big wave of Cleaning magic. It spread out, washing across the ground and walls and finally over the real Rainnewt, who looked like he was just standing there next to one of the homes along the street.“That’s interesting magic,” he said, this time in person. “Cleaning, right? You mentioned it being good against Evil Roots. I can believe it. What rank did you take it to?”“Rank S,” I said.“Oh, your ranks are letters too? Interesting!” He smiled genially. “Well, that’s pretty impressive. Most of the locals don’t bother investing everything into one skill. It’s too much of a pain to wait for so long to invest all of your points later. I think our rapid growth kind of negates that disadvantage.”I spun towards him, then knelt down to pick up a pebble off the street.Rainnewt blinked as I flung it at him and he casually batted it aside. “What was that for?”“To see if you’re solid,” I said.“Oh, clever.” He nodded along, then glanced back down the road. “I think I really will be heading out now. It was fun chatting. I don’t get to talk to too many people, at least not honestly.”“So you’re lonely?” I asked. “Is that why you’re being so mean? Because, well, you did a lot of bad things, but I guess I might not be so nice if I was very lonely too.”“Oh no, I doubt that’s the case,” Rainnewt dismissed, but I felt like it was a bit too easy of a dismissal. “I’m pursuing my goals, I don’t have time for people. I’ve always considered myself a nice guy, but, well, people get in the way.”I nodded, then mid-nod, I lunged forwards and towards Rainnewt. I tried to hit him with my shoulder, but he stepped to the side.Planting my foot, I slid to a stop, spun around, and launched myself back toward him. My right arm fired a punch straight at his face while I hid my left behind me and formed fireballs around it.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.Rainnewt ducked under my swing, then when I tried to elbow him he shoved my arm aside with a hard smack.I grit my teeth, brought my other hand around and fired the six fireballs I’d made.Rainnewt hissed as all six blasted him in the chest. He stumbled back a step, his hand rubbing at the burning spots on his suit. “That was expensive, you know!” he said.“So’s the building you’re trying to bomb!” I shouted back.Rainnewt huffed as he bounced back a stop and moved out of the way of a swift kick towards his knee.I bounced forwards and, with a quick smack forwards, finally managed to touch him. It was only a moment, but I did what I could to scramble his magic.Rainnewt’s eyes widened for a moment as raw mana poured out from the side of his chest. It was a bit strange, not a smoke or a stream, but a flickering mass of colours and reflective surfaces and strange textures. It was almost like a visual glitch.I didn’t have much time to inspect it before he ducked to one side, and also the other.I was confused for just a moment as two Rainnewts moved in two directions, but a pair of flung Cleanballs revealed that both were illusions as the Cleaning magic disrupted the images.“Dang it!” I cursed before shoving a big heap of my mana into a burst of Cleaning magic that exploded out of me and raced across the street.It revealed that Rainnewt was a good ways away, quietly jogging off towards the far end of the city.I grunted as I sprinted after him. I was vaguely aware that I had used up a lot of mana in that short tussle, and some stamina too. My heart was pitter-patter racing in my chest.I jumped at Rainnewt, hand wrapping around the fabric of his suit. “Got you!” I said.Then the floor skipped out beneath us.A loud bang roared across the room and long-settled dust came pouring down from the ceiling.I was so surprised that for a blink my lightball faded, leaving us both in the trembling dark.“What?” I asked.Rainnewt spun out of my grasp and shoved me back. “Seems like your friend wasn’t all that skilled at disarming things,” he said.“No!” I said.“That was very premature, there’s not much else it could be. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”“No!” I said, louder. Awen was fine. She had to be.I blinked hard, then jumped towards Rainnewt.He weaved around my grasp, then slapped me across the face.I squeaked as I crashed to my knees, the world spinning and a sharp, burning pain across my face. It hurt. Thinking that Awen might be... no, I couldn’t be distracted.“Alright, now you’re just annoying,” Rainnewt said.I got up, a hand cradling my cheek and the side of my face. It still hurt, the pain only ebbing away slowly. “You’re not a very nice person, are you?” He’d hurt Awen, maybe. Probably not. Awen was good. She was a great mechanic. She knew what she was doing.“You were literally attacking me,” he said. “Besides, What I do I do for a reason. I’m a nice guy, I swear.”I glared at him as hard as I could. “No, I don’t think you are,” I said. “I... I don’t like fighting people. I don’t even like fighting things. But you’re just mean enough that I think fighting you is the right thing to do.”He rolled his eyes at me, and that’s when I spun and kicked out towards his chest.Rainnewt caught my leg. A hand gripping tight around my shin with a meaty thwack. He pulled me forwards, then, when I struggled to regain my balance, he punched me.I coughed as the air was blown out of my lungs. His fist stayed buried just below my ribs. I tried to disrupt his mana, but I couldn’t think straight, I was too slow. He let go of my leg and shoved me back.“Shut up, Broccoli,” he said. “You’re such a self-righteous little child. Going on about... friendship and whatever. Grow up.”“No,” I said, then I kicked him in the shin.He was wearing greaves though, and other than a wince, it didn’t look like I’d done much to stop him at all.“I’m done here. If you survive the blast, then maybe we’ll see each other again. Honestly, I’m not sure if I want you to or not, but I don’t have it in me to kill a fellow Riftwalker.”“What? What makes me so special? You’re going to kill a ton of people with your bombs, you’re going to start a war!”He shrugged. “Maybe. But they’re the products of the World. They’re... I suppose less people.”“That’s not true,” I said. I spun over onto my stomach and coughed a few times, then, with a wipe of my nose, I climbed to my feet. I felt a little nauseous still, and the world was wobblier than I’d like, but I wasn’t going to let him insult everyone everywhere like that. Those people were my friends. “You’re a liar, you know?”“Yes, obviously,” Rainnewt said.His voice sounded faint, and it took me a moment to realise that it hadn’t come from his mouth.A weak splash of Cleaning magic washed over him, disrupting whatever illusion magic he was using enough to reveal the trick. The jerk! Another fake!I groaned as I fired off another big blast of Cleaning magic, revealing Rainnewt, on the edge of an alleyway a dozen metres away.My mana was almost spent.“You’re persistent,” he said.“She is.”Rainnewt and I both glanced down the street to see a very familiar face. Bastion, in his ceremonial armour, cape fluttering out behind him like someone out of a poster. Behind him, and still much closer to the doorway, was Awen and a few guards who were working on creating balls of light to illuminate the dead city.“But she’s got a good heart,” Bastion continued. “Which is more than I could say about you. I’m supposed to formally ask that you surrender, but I would much rather you resist.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Two — Someone Set Up Us the Bomb
Chapter Three Hundred and Two — Someone Set Up Us the Bomb Seeing Bastion was like having a weight lifted off my shoulders. Seeing Awen, healthy and unexploded, was like replacing that weight with a warm blanket.My friends-some of them-were safe, and they were here to help me when I could really use the help.“I don’t actually know you,” Rainnewt said. “Are you that paladin that’s been following Miss Bunch around?”Bastion nodded. He reached to his hip, hand gripping around the hilt of his ornate sword. “I am. Would you do us both a favour and drop to your knees. Place your hands flat on the ground. Surrender. It’s the only logical option you have left.”“You do seem terribly confident in yourself,” Rainnewt said. He glanced around the darkened city. The place was becoming lighter and easier to see as the five guards that followed Bastion raised lights above their heads and moved closer to us. “But I’m afraid that I’m nearly gone already.”Bastion’s eyes narrowed, and I think it clicked for me at the same time. “He’s an illusion!” I shouted. If the Rainnewt we were looking at was a fake, then where was the real one?“There,” Bastion said. He whipped his sword out of its scabbard and pointed to his right with the tip of it.I spun and searched the near-dark for Rainnewt, but I couldn’t see him. Still, if Bastion said he was that way, then I’d trust my friend. My mana and stamina had been refilling during that little break, I could still fight for a while! I jumped up and onto one of the nearest rooftops, then spinted in the direction Bastion was pointing. I almost stumbled over some loose debris on one flat rooftop, but I managed to keep my footing.I needed light. My tiny ball of light was only strong enough to push the dark back in a little circle around me. I did have one other option when it came to magics that made light.“Rainnewt, you’d better duck!” I shouted as I jumped up, then flung my arm out in a wide arc. A brace of fireballs rushed out ahead of me in a rough semicircle. As the balls wooshed ahead, they cast orangey light across the pale, shadow-dusted walls of the dead city.No signs of Rainnewt. But then I saw a curtain shift in a window just before I landed on the edge of a rooftop. I spun and shot out a huge gush of Cleaning magic that way, the magic moving faster than most people would be able to avoid. It washed away dust and grime, and Rainnewt’s illusion magic too.“Found him!” I said.“Engaging!” Bastion called out as he buzzed past me. He had discarded his cape at some point, freeing his wings so that he could fly with no impediments.He landed in a roll, then sliced out with his sword snake-quick.The blade met metal as Rainnewt pulled a long dagger from the small of his back and parried the assault. “Really, Broccoli, you had to send one of these dogs of the king after me?”"... Is that an insult?" I frowned, leaping closer to the fight. "I like dogs!"Bastion stepped back, then ducked to the side and lunged in from an entirely new direction. The motion was so smooth it almost looked like a dance.Rainnewt wasn’t much slower though, and he was pretty strong, his own level likely very close to Bastion’s own. Dagger met sword again. Bastion had the advantage in length, and he used it right away.I paused, not sure what to do and entirely captivated as Bastion danced around Rainnewt, his sword plunging in and out just long enough for Rainnewt to bat it aside. He was looking for an opening, and judging by how Rainnewt was scrambling to push aside every strike, he’d find one eventually.And then, as Bastion was lunging in again, Rainnewt flung his free hand out towards the blade. There was a clink, and a second long dagger wavered into being in Rainnewt’s off-hand. He slipped past Bastion’s guard and sliced out towards the sylph.I gasped, but Bastion had the experience and skill not to lose his head. He weaved around the knife, brought his sword back, then flapped his wings once to regain some small amount of distance before he changed stances and resumed his strikes towards Rainnewt. He was being a lot more cautious now.Bastion spun and slashed out at empty air, only for his sword to meet something where nothing was visible. A second Rainnewt appeared there, smiling confidently while the first faded away like so much dust caught in a strong wind. “You’re a decent fighter,” he said.“And you are one of the most infuriating,” Bastion said. “You know that I will win this.”“If my goal was to defeat you, then yes. But time, as you well know, is on my side.”Bastion glared at him. He never took his eyes off of Rainnewt as he addressed me. “Broccoli, make sure the guards know where we are. I believe I might require their assistance soon.”“Alright!” I said. “Just be careful, okay!”I spun and ran to the other end of the roof, away from the clink-clink of sword and dagger meeting behind me as Bastion and Rainnewt continued to test each other.On arriving at the other end of the roof, I waved an arm over my head, signalling the guards making their way across the city closer. “This way! They’re over here! Fast!”The guards put on some extra speed, dashing over in a bit more of a hurry. Some took to the air and skipped from rooftop to rooftop, magical lights trailing behind them and brightening the world around us.“Awen!” I called out as I saw my friend running after the guards. She had a cloth bundle held close to her chest and was huffing and puffing as she tried to keep up with the others.The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.I bounced off the roof, skipped off another building, then landed with a huff next to Awen. “Awa!” she said as she jumped in fright. “Oh, Broccoli.”“Yeah! Did you get all the bombs?”She shook her head. “I couldn’t, there were too many. But I did manage to take one apart and I detonated one of them. Ah, in a controlled manner. Bastion was one of the first guards to show up, so I explained things as quickly as I could.”“And the rest of the bombs? How many are there?”“I don’t know. A lot.” She puffed out a breath. “More than enough to take down the entire building, but I think the guards might be able to handle it. I hope they’re evacuating.”“Good,” I said. At least Rainnewt’s plan was foiled in the end. Or maybe now, if he wanted to anger the sylph, the threat of a bomb might be as good as the bomb itself. “What’s that?” I asked with a gesture to the thing she was hugging close.Awen grinned. “A gift for Rainnewt. I thought, maybe, you could throw it at him?”“Is that a bomb?”“More like half a bomb?” Awen tried. “The arming mechanism is still there. There’s a five-second delay.”“Uh, that seems dangerous,” I said.She shrugged. “It’ll work!”Maybe we could bluff him?Awen and I rounded a corner onto the road where Bastion and Rainnewt had been fighting. The guards had arrived before us, but it didn’t look like they tipped the balance all that much. Two of them were injured, being tended to by a third as they leaned against the front of an abandoned home.The other guards were holding back, keeping a good few metres away from Rainnewt and Bastion, who were still carefully trading blows.At some point, they’d turned to using magic. Rainnewt was swinging around sharp beams of light that cut through they touched. Bastion countered with glowing shields and arcing balls of fire that hissed as they burned the air.Every time Rainnewt moved, a new image of him would split off and attack or dodge in a new direction. Sometimes those images turned out to be the real thing, and Bastion had to constantly block attacks that weren’t entirely real. He was ignoring some of the feints, but I had no idea how he could tell that those weren’t real while others were.“We need to do something,” I said.“Bomb?” Awen asked.Well, it was an idea.“Can you make it explode at a certain time?” I asked.“I can make it explode when your cleaning magic hits it,” Awen offered.“Okay, do it,” I said.Awen grinned and unwrapped the cloth she held to reveal a mechanical contraption of clockwork gears around what looked like a mason jar filled with something brown. She broke off a brass tine on part of it, then pinched her tongue between her teeth as she summoned a thin piece of glass in its place. “Okay. One good blast of cleaning magic and it will go off,” she said.“Perfect,” I said as I took the bomb away from her. “Get to cover, I’ll be right back!”Awen didn’t have time to protest that as I leaped up and onto the nearest rooftop. I started running again, glad that the sylph liked using such easy roofs to travel on.Bastion and Rainnewt were travelling a little as they fought, Rainnewt backpedalling and losing ground with every exchange. That was good, I didn’t want anyone caught in the splash of the bomb.“Hey!” I called out from above the two fighters. They both glanced my way, but it was barely more than a peek. I raised the bomb over my head. “I’m going to drop this behind Rainnewt now. Uh, it’s one of his bombs.”The constant back and forth between the two stopped. Neither looked up towards me, but I could feel their attention. “That sounds like a rather terrible idea,” Bastion said.The two remaining guards started to back away little by little.“I agree with the paladin,” Rainnewt said.“It’s just half a bomb,” I added.“That’s still a lot of bomb!” Rainnewt shouted.“Well, in that case, you should surrender,” I said.“Broccoli, I’ll hardly surrender when you might well be bluffing.”“She doesn’t bluff,” Bastion said.“Come on, Rainnewt, last chance,” I said. I raised the bomb over my head until even my ears could brush against it. “This thing is pretty heavy, you know.”“You won’t do it,” he said.Bastion lunged at him, but Rainnewt ducked back and smacked Bastion’s sword aside.“Fine then,” I said. I stretched way back, then with a heavy grunt, I flung the bomb up and into the air in their general direction.“You’re mad!”“Sorry! Try not to get too hurt!” I spun on my heel, then darted away as quick as I could.I heard Bastion say something that was very unpaladin-like, then a glowing barrier appeared in front of him. He didn’t stay behind that though, and instead flew to the guards nearest him and tackled them off their feet.Rainnewt jumped through a window, glass shattering with a loud crack.And then the bomb hit the ground. I sent a wash of Cleaning magic after it, then spun away.I eeped as a wave of sound and warmth and wind picked me up from behind and sent me tumbling tail over teakettle.Glass shattered, at least one wall crumbled apart, and the constant echo of the explosion rang back and forth throughout the entire old city.I coughed as a wave of dust settled down around me, then I pulsed out a bit of Cleaning magic to clear enough air to breathe.I really, really hoped that everyone was still alive, and that the idea wasn’t as bad as I feared.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Three — Out of the Dark
Chapter Three Hundred and Three — Out of the Dark I shook my head and wiggled my ears. They were ringing a bit, which I supposed was normal after hearing such a loud noise.Standing up, I dusted myself off, then glanced back.Smoke and dust was still rising from the spot where I’d flung the bomb, and a couple of the nearby homes had their walls knocked down into big piles of rubble.I stumbled towards the explosion, a finger digging into one of my human ears to get it to pop back. The ringing started to fade as I arrived close to the edge of the roof where I tossed the bomb from. I didn’t want to stand on the very edge, since there were a few big cracks running across the stone wall.“Bastion?” I called down. “Are you okay?”The shield he’d put up was gone, and I was worried that I might have hurt my friend.A few wooshes burst from the smoke, clearing it away to reveal Bastion on his feet, sword by his side and wings flapping even though he wasn’t flying. “Broccoli?” he called out. “You’re still alive?”“Yeah!” I said. “I’m fine!”He glanced up and spotted me, then he waved me over. “Come over here, please.”I jumped down, landing with a crunch on the road that was now covered in little bits of rock. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you? What about the guards that were with you?”Bastion shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said before glancing over his shoulder. “These two look alright as well.”I pushed some Cleaning magic out to clear the area, revealing the two guards getting to their feet. They were covered in dust and grime, but they didn’t look injured.“I’m happy that everyone made it out okay,” I said.Bastion nodded, then he beckoned me closer. “Come here,” he said.I stepped up to him. Did he need me to carry something? I watched as his arm stretched out above my head, then he turned his hand so that its side was facing down. “What are-” I began.Bastion chopped down, clunking me right between the ears.“Ow!” I yelped as I brought my hands up to rub at my head. “That hurt!”“So did being blown up,” Bastion said. “Broccoli, it’s... it’s not good form to drop explosives next to allies, especially not when they’re within the blast radius.”“I... I’m sorry!” I said.“I really hope you are. Friends don’t bomb friends.”I pouted, but Bastion was probably right. That hadn't been very nice of me at all. “I’m sorry. Really. Uh, but we should go check on Rainnewt. He was closer to the explosion.”Bastion nodded, then half-turned to address the guards. He barked a few orders, sending one out to fetch reinforcements while the other gathered the nearby guards who could help once we found Rainnewt again.Bastion and I took the lead in checking the area of the explosion. There was a black scorch on the ground, and a big circle where all of the long-accumulated dust and debris had been pushed back. No signs of Rainnewt though.“There,” Bastion said. He pointed to one of the nearest houses. I couldn’t see what hinted that Rainnewt had gone that way, but I trusted Bastion’s intuition on the matter.He kicked open a door and I tossed a lightball into the room, filling it with pale white light that shoved aside the old shadows occupying the home. Rainnewt was there, laying on the ground with his back against the wall.I gasped.He was clutching at his tummy. Blood seeped out from between his clenched fingers, running down over his legs and pooling on the floor. His head was turned to the side and pressed against the wall, eyes squeezed shut and teeth grit.“Oh no,” I said. “I’m so, so sorry.” I started to run in, but Bastion held an arm out, stopping me.“Illusion,” he said.We stepped into the room and I pushed a bit of Cleaning magic towards Rainnewt and his body faded away into so many motes of light. “Oh, it really was just an-”I was cut off as Bastion spun, grabbed me by the scruff, and shoved me aside.It was such a brusque, sudden motion, that I barely had time to wonder why Bastion was being so mean before his sword came up and caught something out of the air with a metallic clink.A new Rainnewt appeared, holding onto a dagger mid-parry.He looked rough, his suit covered in dust and grime, with a few tears in it that hadn’t been there before. A long cut along his forehead was bleeding across his face, and he was grimacing as he moved back, as though the motion hurt him.“Came back to finish me off?” he rasped. “You know, Broccoli, your whole facade, pretending to be so innocent, so harmless. You’re not, are you?”“Hey! I’m as harmless as I want to be!” I said.“You tossed a bomb at me!” Rainnewt shouted right back.I stood up properly as Bastion let go and crossed my arms. “You’re the one that brought the bombs. You can’t blame me for using your own weapon against you.”Bastion must have been tired of our argument, because his arm blurred toward Rainnewt.Rainnewt’s eyes widened a moment before the paladin’s knuckles met his chin with a hard crack. I saw his face go through a few strange expressions as he was spun halfway around. His eyes rolled up, and he crashed to the floor like a sackful of potatoes.Bastion was on him a moment later, pinning his arms to the small of his back and tossing the two daggers he had to the corner of the room. “I need restraints,” he said.I slid to the side as a guard ran in with a short length of rope which Bastion immediately used to tie Rainnewt’s hands together. Rainnewt didn’t stay unconscious for long. He came to and started to squirm to fight Bastion off, but it was no use, not with more guards stepping into the room and surrounding him.“I believe it goes without saying that you’re under arrest,” Bastion said to Rainnewt. Looking up, he addressed the guards. “I want three pairs of eyes on him at all times. No exceptions. He’s capable of shapeshifting and it’s possible that he has bribed some members of the guard. Do not trust anything he says. In fact, gag him. I’m certain someone can spare a sock.”This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.The guards nodded, and soon they helped drag Rainnewt out of the home and into the street. They never actually let him get to his feet though, preferring to drag him around by the armpits.I followed the guards out of the building, but paused when I saw that Bastion wasn’t following. “Are you okay?” I asked.Bastion looked up, then smiled. “I’m well. A little disappointed though. I’ve scuffed my armour in a few places. It will take hours to buff it back to a shine.”“Oh,” I said. "I could help?" I raised a hand, manifesting the barest glow of cleaning magic.He shook his head. “It’s a Paladin’s responsibility to keep his gear in tip-top shape. Ceremonial equipment more so. Though I believe I will be forgiven for having become somewhat unkempt today. While traditions are important, lives are more so.” He bent down and plucked Rainnewt's two daggers off the ground.“As long as you don’t get a talking-to for it. You were awesome earlier, fighting against Rainnewt like that.”“I’m more concerned over how difficult the battle was,” Bastion said. He raised one of the knives, inspecting it in the faint light.“Are the knives special?”He shook his head and looked at the other. “No. Quite the opposite. They’re perfectly ordinary. Well-made, but not mastercraft. No markings, nothing to make them special. I’m a little disappointed.”“How so?”He smiled. ”I was hoping the reason I had to work hard to keep up was because he had superior equipment, perhaps enchanted. This knocks that theory out of the air. That Rainnewt man is dangerous. Most Paladins would defeat him in a straight contest, I think, but he doesn’t fight fairly. Tricks and illusions and deception at every turn. He’s dangerous.”I glanced back to where he was being held by the guards. A few more had joined the group, and I saw Awen loitering by the edge. Unless he pulled off some great trick, he wasn’t going to get away. “What’s going to happen to him?” I asked.Bastion took a while to answer. “He will be judged. Likely in a more private venue. Then he will pay for his crimes, depending on the judgement handed down to him.”“So, jail?” I asked.Bastion patted me on the shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go see how your friends are doing.”“Oh, okay,” I said. Bastion wasn’t that great at distractions, but I didn’t mind. I stuck close to him until I was close enough to Awen that I could run over and pull her into a tight hug. “You’re alright?”“I’m fine,” Awen said with a giggle. “I heard an explosion, that was you?”“I didn’t explode. But I might have caused one, yeah. Your bomb worked, by the way.”“I figured as much,” Awens said. “Fortunately, that’s the only explosion I heard. I think that they cleared out the others.”“They had someone that could disable them?” I asked.Awen shook her head. “I think they had some guards that could jam up the traps on the bombs, but they mostly just carried them out of the building. I guess they’ll let them all explode where it’s safe.”“Uh, is that safe at all?” I asked.“An explosion outside, with nothing to redirect the force of it? I think it should be safe,” Awen said. “The blast will just disperse in every direction. If it’s far enough from any homes or anything important, then it shouldn’t actually cause any harm.”I nodded firmly. “Good.”Bastion walked up next to us. “We’ll be escorting the prisoner out. You should follow us. I’m certain there will be many questions.”“Questions?”“Oh yes, plenty,” Bastion said. “The fact that you both acted to help, that things might have been worse without your assistance, will help a lot.”“Why do you say that as if we’ll need the help?” I asked.“Because you might. With situations like these, there are some people who will immediately look for ways to put the blame on someone that isn’t themselves. That means that they might see your involvement in the situation as an easy way to claim that you’re somehow responsible.”“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said.Bastion shrugged. “One of the first things the fearful and cowardly toss away is common sense and decency.” He patted me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll do what I can to allay suspicions. And besides, you have friends in good places, and something of a reputation.”I snorted. “Come on, we’ve only been here for a few days, we can hardly have a reputation already.”“Ah, if you say so,” Bastion said.The guards kept a formation around Rainnewt as they escorted him through the old city. Bastion, Awen, and I stayed at the back of the group, walking along at a decent pace through the ancient ruins until we reentered the basement of the old palace. The room was a hive of activity, with what must have been half the city’s guards and Paladins scouring the basement for anything out of place.We got lots of looks, but Bastion being there probably saved us from some scrutiny.A couple of Paladins joined us, sharing quick signs with Bastion before they nodded and formed up at our flanks.The halls above, unlike the basement, were eerily empty. Where dignitaries and diplomats and nosy people of all sorts had been gathering before, there was now a whole lot of nothing, only a few guards moving around in quick patrols.It was only when we were outside that we found everyone again. “Broccoli Bunch!”I flinched at the snap in Amaryllis’ voice.“I prepared all night for that speech. I should have known that I didn’t need to bother, what with you around to cause a ruckus!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Four — Royal Expositioner
Chapter Three Hundred and Four — Royal Expositioner I couldn’t help but grin from ear-to-ear as Amaryllis pulled me into a hug of her own volition. “You moron,” she muttered into my hair before letting me go. She pulled Awen into a hug too, but didn’t have any insults for her. “Thanks for keeping Broccoli safe.”“Hey!” I protested. “I can keep myself safe.”“Yes yes, I’m sure,” Amaryllis dismissed.We were making something of a scene. An entire heap of nobles and dignitaries were congregating around, most looking like they didn’t know what to do. Which was fair. I imagined that the plans for the summit had been upended pretty hard.Caprica slid out from the crowd and walked over. “Captain Broccoli, Lady Bristlecone, you’re back,” she said. “Do you have any idea what happened?”I nodded. “Yeah, we were involved with the mess. Not making it, but, uh, we were there.”“And what did happen?” Caprica asked. “I saw Bastion running off against the orders of Inquisitor Storm. Then the guards were thrown into a frenzy.”“I saw someone suspicious, so I followed him down to the basement with Awen,” I said. “Then it turned out to be a shapeshifted Rainnewt, and the basement was filled with time bombs.”Caprica blinked, then glanced over to the old palace. “What happened after that?” Caprica asked.“Well, we fought. Awen disarmed some bombs, Bastion showed up. Uh, I might have set off one bomb, and then we captured Rainnewt.” I looked to Awen. “Am I missing any parts?”“I think you’re missing a few little details,” Awen said.Caprica glanced over at Amaryllis. “Is this normal? I read Bastion’s reports, but I didn’t expect to see your group at work.”“Our group?” Amaryllis asked. She flinched back. “Please don’t group me in with these two. I’m perfectly sane.”“I never questioned your sanity aloud,” Caprica said.“Aloud?” Amaryllis repeated.Caprica cleared her throat. “I think your group might have the best firsthand information here. Come on, follow me. I think Father will want to hear all of this-he’s with the delegates from Deepmarsh and the Trenten Flats. They might want to know what happened as well. This debacle is tarnishing Sylphfree’s promise of safety.”“No one was hurt, right?” I asked. “I think that should matter a lot.”“No one was hurt, but they could have been,” Caprica said. “It’s an important distinction to some more politically-inclined people.”Caprica led us through a small crowd of sylph nobles. Everyone was mostly gathered on the lawns across the street from the Old Palace. A few local shops had opened their doors and were serving drinks and food, and I suspected that the staff were working overtime to keep everyone happy.Meanwhile, carriages were racing down the cobbled streets with teams of guards on their backs. A cordon was forming on either end of the road, and I suspected that they were there to keep people out as much as to keep people in.The king was sitting in a pavilion tent someone had set up in record time halfway on the sidewalk and on the road. I counted six paladins encircling the tent, and more of them were within, with hands on the hilts of their swords and their eyes peeled for any threats.Caprica paused before the tent and spoke to one of the paladins in hushed tones. That gave me some time to peek over her head and into the tent.I didn’t recognize the cervid delegates from the Trenten Flats, but the grenoil were more familiar. Sylive Robespierre was there, with her secretary friend and a couple of other grenoil representatives. No harpy though, though. No humans or buns, for that matter, not until we walked in.The king glanced up briefly while talking with a sylph, spotted Caprica, then smiled at her. She nodded back, then made a quick gesture with her hand. I didn’t quite see it all, being behind her, but I had the impression it was asking for permission for something. Their own little sign language? That was neat!The king frowned for a moment, leaned to the side to say something to his buddy, then waved us over.There were even more paladins inside the tent than outside, a ring of them around the edges, barely noticeable because of how little they moved. One standing close to the king wasn’t as subtle though. Inquisitor Storm. The same paladin I’d met way back in Fort Sylphrot, the day I met Bastion.“Hello Caprica,” the king said. “I see all of your friends made it out alright. Did you have anything to share? News, perhaps?”The nobles around the king backed up a bit, all except for Inquisitor Storm, who eyed us all very carefully.“News and more,” Caprica said. “Captain Bunch and Lady Bristlecone here were the ones who discovered the plot to destroy the Old Palace. They also fought and apprehended the culprit. I believe with the aid of Paladin Bastion?”I nodded. “Yup! Though there were a bunch of guards too.”The King leaned forwards. “Really now? Captain Bunch, Lady Bristlecone, would you mind sharing the story with the rest of us?”“Your highness, are you certain you want to interrogate them publicly?” Inquisitor Storm asked in a low whisper.The king nodded. “I think I have a good measure of their character. They’re good kids.”I blinked, then realised that they didn't seem to be speaking the usual sylph language. That was a clever trick, though I imagined that a lot of diplomats probably had skills that would help them understand. “We didn’t do anything bad, I swear,” I muttered in the same language.The king grinned. “See,” he said. “Captain, Lady, please, tell us what happened.”I glanced to Awen, but she shook her head quickly. “You speak, you’re better at it,” she said.Well, that made sense. Awen was a bit shy and there were a lot of eyes on us. I think the people gathered here really wanted to know what had happened. Either because it would be great gossip, or because they were curious busybodies.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.So I told them.I started from the top. How I’d seen someone suspicious, then followed them down to the basement with Awen. Then finding the bombs, learning that the suspicious person was Rainnewt, arguing with him, running after him while Awen did her thing, and finally confronting Rainnewt in the old city under the mountain.“And then Awen gave me a bomb, and I tossed it on Rainnewt and a little bit on Bastion-” Caprica gasped at that. “And that knocked him around really good. Bastion bapped me on the head after that, for kinda blowing him up, and then we captured Rainnewt, and that’s the entire thing.”The king turned towards Inquisitor Storm. “Do you think you can confirm the story?” he asked.“I can try,” she said. “I will have to ask Paladin Bastion, and perhaps some of the early investigators. This may take a few minutes.”I waved at her as she ran off in a hurry after bowing to the king. There were a lot of murmurs in the tent, but then, there had been murmurs from the start of my story.“Caprica, my dear,” the king said. “You know the captain and these two ladies better than I do. Perhaps you could help me a little. What are your opinions on their characters?”Caprica glanced at us, then back to her dad. “They’re insane. All three of them,” she said without hesitation.“Pardon me?” Amaryllis squawked.“But,” Caprica continued. “They genuinely do mean well. And I think we only see them as insane because all three of them refuse to believe in the sorts of common sense that lead to things like bomb threats and potential wars. They really do think that the three of them, on their own, can make Dirt a better place for everyone. It’s mad, impossible, and somewhat inspiring.”The king chuckled. “Well, perhaps they’re not entirely wrong. I believe Lady Albatross intended to speak on behalf of the harpy today. I imagine you were going to petition in the name of your nation to pull back from the brink of hostility?”“What? No, that would be dumb,” Amaryllis said. “Any half-bit politician can crow about what they want for their country. I’m here to tell you all that this war is stupid, and if you participate in it, you’re stupid too.”The whispers from before turned into indigent mutters.“Oh, don’t mumble at me,” Amaryllis grumped. “Half of you were champing at the bit to start a war entirely orchestrated by a single madman. Do you have any idea how many lives would be lost because of your lack of forethought? Don’t you realise how close you came to dying just in the last hour just because of this war? If it wasn’t for Broccoli and Awen you’d all be buried in rubble right now.” She sniffed disdainfully. “Idiots.”I patted Amaryllis on the shoulder to calm her down a little. It seemed that not everyone took to being called an idiot by Amaryllis as well as I did.The king clapped his hands together. “Very well then,” he said. “As far as I can tell, it seems as though two of these young women, at least, saved all of our lives. I think, as the host for today’s event, the matter of reward falls upon my shoulders.”I saw Caprica nodding slowly. It seemed like a good move on the king’s part. I imagined that maybe there was some honour-stuff at play here, and the king was shouldering the responsibility for that instead of leaving it to each individual. At least, that’s how I thought it would work out with the sylph. The others I wasn’t as certain of.He regarded me and Awen in turn. "How about this," he said to us, "I will grant each of you a boon of your choosing. If it is within my ability to grant, then it shall be so.”“Father!” Caprica gasped. Judging from the reaction of the other sylph in the room, and the heightened attention of the cervid and grenoil, the boon was a pretty big deal.“Uh, that sounds nice,” I said.“I would hope so,” the king said. “Sylphfree is undoubtedly one of the most powerful nations on Dirt. And a boon on my behalf shouldn’t be taken lightly. Do you want some time to think on it? It would allow Inquisitor Storm time to return.”“Nah, that’s fine,” I said with a nod. “This one’s easy. Can I ask that Sylphfree not get involved in this war-business?”The king laughed. “You can ask that. Though if the war comes to our doorstep, you understand that we won’t fail to react.”I nodded. That was reasonable. “Deal then!” I said while extending my hand. The king grinned and shook. I had the impression that was a faux-pas too, judging by the looks I was getting, but if the king wasn’t insulted, then what did it matter?“And what about you, Lady Bristlecone, any favours you would like to ask?”“Awa,” Awen said. “I don’t know what I’d even ask for. Can I wait?”“Of course,” the king said gently.Inquisitor Storm walked into the room like her namesake, followed by Bastion and two guards who paused by the entrance. She bowed next to the king and whispered into his ear for a moment.“Well then,” the king said. “I think that today has been very exciting, but, seeing as how the summit will have to be put off for some hours, I believe that the wisest course of action would be to pause everything for the day and continue on in the morning. I thank you all very much for coming, and especially for keeping your calm. It’s good to see the continent’s nobility act in such a self-assured fashion.”The king gestured and soon enough a few nobles departed the tent. Others milled around though, and I had the impression they all wanted to chat some more.“Caprica,” the king said. “Do invite your friends over for dinner tonight. I’m certain we have a lot to discuss.”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Five — Alea Iacta Quest
Chapter Three Hundred and Five — Alea Iacta Quest Instead of heading to the palace in the carriage we had ridden over from the inn, Caprica insisted that we use her carriage.It was probably for the best. The big royal seal on the side meant that we didn’t have to wait around in traffic quite as much.Amaryllis, Awen and I crammed ourselves in on one side, while Caprica sat next to Bastion across from us.“So,” I said to break the ice. “How did you get roped into all of this?” I asked Bastion.The paladin raised one eyebrow, then glanced subtly to the side. “In times of heightened alert, it’s normal that all members of the royal family be escorted by a greater number of paladins. There should be two more stationed with this carriage. One next to the driver and one flying above. Having a third within the carriage itself only makes sense.”“Yeah, but there’s a bunch of paladins around,” I said. “I’m happy that you’re the one with us though.”“Yes. I’m certain it’s all entirely a coincidence,” Bastion said. His tone was as even and serious as always, but I couldn’t have but feel like there was a hint of something else there.“Indeed,” Caprica said dismissively. “Now, let’s go over the important things. Tonight was already going to be a night charged with political import, but I don’t think anyone expected it to be as... complicated.”“How will Sylphfree react to the bomb threat?” Amaryllis asked. “For that matter, to Broccoli’s request?”Caprica shook her head. “Hard to tell. I think the population has been primed to expect conflict. I don’t keep up to date with all of the journals, but there was a lot of rising tension in the city. Recruitment has been up for a few weeks as well. If the truth comes out, and it definitely should, then I don’t know how the average sylph will react to a new adversary being discovered.”“Some will accuse the kingdom of using a scapegoat,” Amaryllis said. “Others will be angry that something is interfering with a potential war that they want to see realised. I think most will just want to know more. You might have to inform people about Rainnewt’s motivations, otherwise the story won’t make sense.”“Which begs the question,” Bastion said. “What are his motivations? I didn’t have time to have a good discussion with the man while we fought. Though there is some truth in the saying that combat is a conversation, it's unfortunately not a terribly verbose kind of conversation.”I nodded along. “He mostly wanted to start the war because he thinks it's one way to accomplish his quest,” I said.“A quest?” Caprica asked. She really perked up at that. “As in a World-given quest?”“Yup, same as mine, I think,” I said. “The world’s worried about the Evil Roots, and it’s pulling in Riftwalkers to take care of them. I, uh, mostly ignored my quest because exploring and making friends is more fun, but I guess Rainnewt didn’t.”Amaryllis rubbed her face. “You’re not supposed to admit to ignoring a quest, Broccoli.”“But it’s true?”“Yes, which just makes it worse,” Amaryllis chastised.“Awa, I don’t think it’s so bad. Broccoli found a way to destroy the roots without destroying the dungeon the roots are strangling. It’s a good step forward.”Caprica raised a hand. “Give me a moment, I need to dissect this. I knew you were a Riftwalker, which is impressive. But to have a quest... did you know?” she turned towards Bastion.The paladin didn’t meet her eyes. “I may have omitted a few minor facts from my report,” he said. “An issue that arose from the lack of time to create a fully detailed report.”“I see,” Caprica said. For some reason that seemed to make her pretty smug. “Well then, Rainnewt has a World-given quest. I’m not sure if that should be made public.”“Why not?” I asked. “It’ll explain why he did what he did.”“Yes, but some people, across all countries, will place the will of the World far ahead of the will of a nation. Someone who communicates with the World is given great weight, so if such a person were to suggest that the World desires war, then any such conflict would become… somewhat religious in nature. A few lords and assorted politicians might use that to inflame their support base.” Caprica frowned. “We can’t reveal Rainnewt’s reasoning if it’s based on the World’s will.”I huffed. “It’s based on his own interpretation of that will,” I said. “I don’t think he’s right. I don’t remember any of Miss Menu’s quest prompts telling me to start a war or anything like that. He’s just doing things this way because he’s not very nice and because he’s too lazy to find a solution that helps everyone.”“I don’t think those kinds of solutions exist all that often,” Amaryllis said. “But I won’t disagree that Rainnewt is a fool.”“Let’s put that aside for the moment,” Caprica said. “Broccoli, the favour you asked of my father will put him in an interesting position. I don’t think most would look down on him for ignoring the favour, though it would tarnish his reputation a little. On the other hand, he can now use that as an excuse to put more effort into finding a diplomatic solution to this entire situation. If a sylph lord or lady questions why the royal family is trying so far to de-escalate, we can claim that we’re honour-bound to do at least the bare minimum to find a peaceful solution.”“That’s good, isn’t it?” I asked.Caprica nodded. “It is. That was a daring move, and a risky one. You basically earned a lot of political capital and spent it all instantly, which will take some of the older politicians off-guard.”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“What about my boon?” Awen asked. “I don’t know what to do with it.”Bastion was the one to reply to that question. “Usually the boon will allow you to ask a favour, such as what Broccoli did. Or it will allow you to borrow something from the one who has given you the boon. Asking for money outright would be possible, but it would make you seem somewhat dishonourable.”“Boons have been used to ask for assistance with political issues, to gain permission to ask for someone’s hand in marriage, and for things as simple as throwing a great party,” Caprica said.Amaryllis perked up. “Someone has used a king’s boon to throw a party?”Caprica nodded. “Once. When my father was first prince at that. I heard it was quite the event.”“That’s great,” I said. “Do you want to do something like that, Awen?”Awen frowned and glanced out of the carriage’s window, her eyes seemed to stare past the buildings moving across. “No, I think I’ll use my boon for something else. I haven’t decided yet though.”“It’s up to you,” I said. I leaned to the side and bumped her shoulder with mine, a physical reminder that I was there for her if she needed me, or if she just needed some hugs.Awen nodded once. “I’ll come up with something, don’t worry. Boons don’t expire, right?”“Not quite, no,” Bastion said. “But usually they’re only valid with the person who issued them, and only for the issued. If you pass away, or the king leaves the throne to the next leader, then the boon’s more or less forfeit. Though a new ruler might reinstate the boon, if they really wish to.”“A boon is an unnamed favour. It holds no value beyond that given by the boon-giver’s honour,” Caprica said. “I think there have been kings in other nations whose boons would be worthless because their word was worthless.”The carriage shook a bit as we bounced over a sidewalk. I glimpsed the walls of the palace moving past, then the gates rattled shut behind us.We wheeled around the entranceway and came to a full stop in front of the palace. A guard opened the door while another set a small wooden step stool next to the carriage.We scrambled out and onto the front steps of the new palace. There were a lot more guards around, I noticed. Maybe it was like that across the entire city though? The entire guard force being placed on higher alert in case Rainnewt had plans beyond just his attack on the summit.A nice butler sylph greeted us and led us into the palace proper. The girls and I were brought to a side-passage with a large washroom. I didn’t exactly need to take the warm and humid towel I was handed, but stuffing it against my face felt nice so I didn’t make a fuss.“We likely have outfits Broccoli and Awen can change into,” Caprica said. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or to one of the servants.“What’s wrong with my outfit?” I asked. It was clean.Caprica gestured down, and I noticed for the first time that there were cuts along the seams and a few scrapes that my Cleaning magic couldn’t do anything about. Awen’s dress had a small tear or two as well.“Oh,” I said.“The staff can sew it back together, I’m certain. They are impressively quick too. You wouldn’t imagine how many dresses and uniforms need a quick bit of last-minute adjusting before an event.”I nodded along, and when a maid brought me an outfit, I slipped behind a changing screen and dressed up. It was one of those more militaristic sylph uniforms. All square angles and poofed epaulettes. It made me feel like a proper captain or something. Also, it had a skirt, which was nice.“Okay,” I said as I stepped out. Awen and Amaryllis inspected me, and I got a thumbs and talons up. Awen was in a pretty sundress in a pale green that was quite pretty on her. “What now?” I asked.“Dinner with guests usually starts long before the food is served,” Caprica said. “We can linger around the dinning hall, there’s room to sit, and finger food.”“Oh, I love finger food,” I said.“Then you’ll be quite pleased to find that there’s a whole host of choice here,” Caprica said.“Anything we should note before the dinner?” Amaryllis asked as we followed Caprica through the many corridors of her home.Caprica started to shake her head, then stopped. “We don’t talk about politics, religion, or the economy until after we’ve eaten. Usually that kind of thing will be saved for after dessert. It’s just polite because it gives those who don’t want to talk about such things an excuse to vacate the area without being rude.”“So until then, only happy subjects,” I said.“Yes, exactly,” Caprica said. “You might meet my other sisters. Gabrielle will certainly be here. And my mother, of course. Though she might be off bullying Inquisitor Storm.”The dining hall was a large, plus-symbol-shaped room. The centre was dominated by a large table underneath a ceiling made of windows that let in fading evening light. The four branches had all sorts of interesting distractions though. Benches and a piano in one, a small library in another, and even what seemed like a small games room and a smoking parlour.Already, a few sylph were milling around, or quietly minding their own business while sampling some sweet-smelling meats and pastries.“A room full of important sylph,” Amaryllis muttered. “Time to put your friendmaking to work, Broccoli.”I grinned. We didn’t have much time to prepare for the evening, but it might be fun after all.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Six — Dine Hard with a Vengeance
Chapter Three Hundred and Six — Dine Hard with a Vengeance “Anyone in particular we should get to know?” I asked Caprica.“I suppose my older sister. She’s... well, you’ll meet her in a moment,” Caprica said. She was looking towards the small library-like section of the dining hall, specifically at a young sylph woman in a dark dress standing next to two older gentlesylph.That had to be her sister. There was a clear resemblance between the two of them. The same brow and nose, though Caprica’s hair was a dark shade of brown, and her elder sister had pure black hair. “What’s her name?” I asked as we started to cross the room.“Steph,” Caprica said. “Though she prefers Stephania with strangers. Her middle name is Rubbottom. My parents gave her the name after a Paladin that worked for father and served with mother for a few decades before retiring with honours. She hates the name.”“Rubbottom,” Awen repeated. She brought her hands up to cover her mouth and hide a smile. “I think I can guess why she doesn’t like it.”“Too bad, Uncle Rubrub is really nice. He gave me my first sword,” Caprica said.Stephania turned as we approached, her gaze lingering on Caprica for a moment without a change in her expression before she scanned the rest of us. “A moment, gentlemen, I imagine my sister wishes to introduce her friends.”The two sylph bowed curtly and nodded our way before walking off while chatting to each other. I wouldn’t have minded them staying. More company was always the best kind of company.“Hello, Caprica,” Stephania said.“Steph,” Caprica said. “You guessed already, but I wanted to present my friends to you.” She gestured to the side where Amaryllis, Awen and I stood. “This is Lady... This is Amaryllis, Awen, and Broccoli.”I grinned. She’d made an effort to drop all of the titles. That was actually genuinely nice. We were more than just a collection of neat titles and family names.“A pleasure,” Stephania said.“Hi!” I said. “Do you do hugs?”“Pardon?”“Like this,” I said before stepping up and wrapping Stephania up in a quick hug. It was the rather boring, prompt kind of hug that didn’t give you much time to really enjoy the contact.Stephania blinked at me as I broke away, then glanced at Caprica. “These are the heroes of the day?”“They are,” Caprica said gravely. “Broccoli and Awen here discovered the plot to blow up the old palace and everyone in it. Awen disarmed the explosives while Broccoli valiantly fought the bomber until a brave Paladin showed up to assist her.”“You’re skipping a few details,” I said.“Awa, I only disarmed two bombs,” Awen said. “The guards took care of the rest.”“Yeah, and I barely fought Rainnewt. He’s way stronger than I am, so most of my fighting didn’t end up doing much more than slow him down. Bastion did most of the work.”Stephania sighed. “Of course Bastion was involved somehow. I should have guessed, with how excited you are about all of this, Caprica.”“Don’t be that way, Steph,” Caprica said. She crossed her arms. “I’m hardly excited by all of this either. I could have died today. Father too, for that matter, and dozens of distant cousins and people we know as well. It most certainly would have sparked a war.”“Yes, I suppose so,” Stephania said. “Why did you bring them to me, Caprica?”“You’re being rude, Steph,” Caprica said.“I can’t find it in me to care,” Stephania dismissed. “No side-stepping the question. We’re sisters aren’t we? Answer me honestly.”Caprica let out a long sigh. “Because you usually have a good idea of what is going on in the city. I need to know what the nobility is thinking, the merchants. Your friends.”Stephania shook her head. “And to think you’ve always looked down on me for spending time with business people, rather than those of you who like to play dress-up as soldiers.”“Um, are we stepping into something here?” I asked.“Sounds like the average sisterly argument to me,” Amaryllis said. “Let me guess, you both pursued different hobbies, got pulled apart by different peer groups, and now you’re both too obstinate around whatever you’re passionate about to reconcile, even though both of you still love each other.”Caprica and Stephania both looked at Amaryllis for a long moment before they both shook their heads.“Absolutely not.”“I’m afraid you’re entirely wrong.”Awen and I giggled, which had them both wear the exact same expression of offended nobility.“You’re both cute,” I said. “Miss Stephania, if you don’t mind me saying so, I think Caprica just wants to share her new friends with someone she cares about a lot. She made sure to have us spend time with Gabrielle already too. And I think all three of us would love to be your friend too.”Stephania RubbottomDesired Quality: Someone to acknowledge her superior intellectDream: To become the wealthiest sylph in all of Sylphfree to show up her bratty little sisterThat dream... was going to take some working around.“Fine then,” Caprica said. “I really could use your help, Steph. And this is to try and head off a clash of arms. Imagine how many of my play-soldier peers will be upset if a war never happens.”Stephania rolled her eyes. “Very well. I suppose it is for a good cause. Though there are some among my own peers who are rather eager for great battles and the opportunity for government contracts.”“I can imagine,” Caprica said. “They might bear investigating.”One of Stephania’s eyebrows quirked up. “Oh? So this is your ruse. Come over all friendly and chatty with.. these three bizarre characters, then find out which business sylph you can pin some of your troubles on?”The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“Hardly,” Caprica said. “It’s just as likely that the trouble comes from the military, or a radical branch of it.”“Um,” I said. “Haven’t we proven that Rainnewt is responsible for everything?”Caprica shook her head. “We haven’t. And even if he takes full responsibility, it’s unlikely to be true. Too much has happened for it all to be orchestrated by one person. He needed to have co-conspirators. Perhaps even people who are above him in terms of responsibility. It wouldn’t be like the leader of a conspiracy to do the dirty work themselves.”I didn’t have that impression from Rainnewt. He seemed more than capable of tricking people, but working with others over the long term was... probably something he had to work on.“If you say so, I guess,” I said.Caprica nodded. “I do say so. This might be a great opportunity to weed out some tasteless opinions near the top of our society.”That didn’t sound very nice. But before I could ask about it, a bell tinkled. A butler stood next to the table, a small silvery chime in one hand, a towel draped over his other arm. A team of serving sylph had slipped into the room without me noticing and were placing down plates and cutlery onto the table in the centre of the room with quick efficiency. “Dinner will be served momentarily,” the butler said in a gentle voice that nonetheless carried across the room. “Please, find your seats at your convenience.”Each seat had plenty of room on either side of it, and along with that, small plaques with names engraved upon them sat in front of the plates and silverware.“Come, I imagine you’ll all be near the head of the table today,” Caprica said.She wasn’t wrong. Awen, Amaryllis and I were to the head seat’s right. Awen’s seat was right next to the king’s with me sandwiched between her and Amaryllis. Caprica and her sister sat across from us, and I imagined those were the seats reserved for family or something.The seats were comfy, but just a bit short. I was sitting with my feet planted on the ground and my knees up a bit. The table and chairs were a bit sylph-sized, even if they were grandiose and pretty.The king walked in without ceremony or fanfare next to someone I assumed was a paladin until a maid rushed out and placed a second seat next to the king’s, then another came with plates and cutlery for the new place-setting. The queen?Everyone but Caprica and Stephania stood, so my friends and I did the same after a moment of confused hesitation.“Oh, don’t bother, please,” the maybe-queen said.She was tiny, one of the smallest adult sylph I’d seen, with short-cropped hair that was an exact match of Caprica’s and a scowl fit for an angry schoolteacher. Her armour was definitely a paladin’s, if a bit lighter than what I’d seen Bastion wear normally.The king pulled out his wife’s chair, and she rolled her eyes before sitting down.“Good evening, everyone,” the king said as he sat down in turn. The last few people still standing dropped back into their seats. The king clapped his hands in eager glee. “I heard that we have scallops from Quickwood, and this very nice apple brandy from Mattergrove. And Captain Bunch?”“Huh? Oh, yes?” I asked.“I made sure the chefs prepared a more vegetarian meal for you,” he said. “No need to worry.”“Oh, thank you! I think I can eat most things though. I wasn’t born a bun, so meats and stuff only give me a bit of a tummy ache.”The king chuckled. “Well, we wouldn’t want that.”The same servants that had set the table were suddenly placing appetisers down before us, and I had to wonder if their sneakiness was some sort of cool skill.The smells from the food around me hit, and I suddenly realized that I was starving. It was an effort not to drool like a baby bun as I picked a fork at random and started gobbling up my meal.I noticed Amaryllis rolling her eyes, and some of the nobles further down were trying hard to look composed and proper as they ate, but I didn’t see the point in that.Whenever a course was finished, the servants returned-from where?! I was paying attention and I never caught them entering the room-and placed the next meal down in front of whomever had finished.There was a bit of small-talk all across the table. The king asked Caprica and Stephania about their days, the queen said that Gabrielle was feeling better after a long day’s rest, but that she wanted to take an evening nap so she had an early dinner. Mostly though, everyone was too busy eating to talk.And then, before I knew it a butler set before me a small slice of cake that I wasn’t sure would fit in my tummy. I wasn’t sure I could eat it, but I was certain I’d give it a try. It was vanilla with some sort of strawberry jam on it and it looked like something from the good kind of dream.“I know it’s something of a faux-pas,” the king said.I glanced up. He was talking to me and my friends.“But I wanted to ask a few questions, if you don’t mind. Mostly about the dungeons you’ve managed to clear on the way here.”I opened my mouth to speak, but a talon poking my leg from under the table shut me up. “What do you want to know?” Amaryllis asked as she dabbed her lips with a serviette.“The Captain was able to repair a dungeon, correct?” he asked.“Less repair, and more rid it of a pest,” Amaryllis said. “Twice, in fact, once in the wilderness to the south of the Crying Mountains, and once again in the tiny port of Innsmouth.”“We have a piece of root from that dungeon!” I remembered. “It’s in the Beaver.”“I see,” the king said. “Would you be willing to demonstrate, Captain Bunch?” he asked. “We have something of an issue at a local dungeon, and there are quite a few people who would like to see your abilities first-hand.”“Oh, sure,” I said. “But after dessert.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seven — Hiring a Professional Cleaner
Chapter Three Hundred and Seven — Hiring a Professional Cleaner “Okay,” I said. “But I’m bringing my friends with me.”My friends and I were spread out a bit more. This part of the dining hall had a good number of comfy chairs to slouch on and we’d moved a few of them around a central coffee table (or was it a tea table? I wasn’t sure if they had coffee in Sylphfree). Mine was right across from the King’s seat, and I had Amaryllis and Awen on either side on their own big, poofy seats.The King was sitting on a big loveseat, with wooden arms covered in carved animals and little scenes of mountainscapes. Next to him, his wife sat, still in her armour with one leg crossed over the other. She was knitting what looked like a teeny tiny jumper.Caprica and her sister were sharing another loveseat and neither looked like they were enjoying it.“You know,” the King said. “I’m not used to people making demands of me.”I frowned, then tapped my chin. “I guess that makes sense, being a king and all. But still, I want my friends to come with me if they can.”“The dungeon in question is important to our nation,” the King said. “What if we determine that its location and layout are sensitive information? Sharing that with one person who has earned our trust is well and good, but several people?”I nodded. “That makes sense,” I said.“So you’ll go on your own?” he asked.“I didn’t say that,” I said. “I still want to go with my friends.”The King didn’t pout, that wouldn’t have been very kingly of him, but I had the impression he really wanted to. “You’re very obstinate.”“I don’t think I am,” I said.Caprica sniffed. “If anything, Father, you should take it as a sign of Broccoli’s good nature. She is fiercely loyal to her friends.”“Well, I mostly want Amaryllis and Awen to be with me because it sounds fun, and fun should be shared.”“If it helps any,” Amaryllis interjected. “Broccoli can’t keep a secret from her friends. She’d spill the location of the dungeon and everything she learned about it the moment one of us asked.”“That’s troubling,” the King muttered.“Secrets aren’t part of a healthy relationship,” I said.The queen looked up from the jumper she was knitting. “Let the girl bring her friends. The dungeon is hazardous enough, even with trusted comrades.”“We’re not sending her down there alone,” the King countered. “The Knights of the Long Rest are jealous of their dungeon. They wouldn’t allow strangers in without an escort at the best of times.”“I’ll see if any paladins are free,” the Queen said.“Or we could send some of the royal guard,” the King said. “I suspect the Paladins will be a bit much for this. Though... those who will want to see Broccoli’s Cleaning magic in action might want to send their own observers.”“We can’t send an entire platoon’s worth of people in the dungeon,” the Queen said. “Let them pick one each, perhaps, make sure that they’re aware of the risks, then let the Knights of the Long Rest pick out a pair of guides. At that point, you’ll already be stretching the number of people you can safely send into the dungeon.”“What kind of Dungeon is it?” I asked. I’d been in my share of them already. It didn’t make me an expert or anything, but I imagined that I knew more about dungeons than maybe the average person.“The Dungeon of the Lullaby Knight,” the King said. “It’s an hour’s flight from Sylphfree, with a small compound around it where the Knights of the Long Rest are headquartered.”“A knightly order?” Amaryllis asked.The King nodded. “We have a few.”“More than a few,” Caprica said. “They’re a popular way for nobles and some people to grow in martial prowess at their own pace while sidestepping the rigours of the army.”“Having so many orders fosters a good, competitive market,” Stephania said. “Besides, the orders need to fund their own housing, training, and equipment. They’re less of a burden on the nation’s coffers.”Caprica and Stephania were glaring at each other again. Was there some animosity between the army and these knightly orders? The Queen might have noticed my look because she filled me in some more.“The nation’s army is grand and proud, but it is a literal meritocracy. The talented and hard-working rise in the ranks, regardless of their birth. Knightly Orders, on the other hand, are mostly filled with noble scions. They buy their own equipment and rank themselves as they see fit. The orders are still subject to the army command though, and they need to participate to assist the nation just as the army does. Most orders will find a niche, occasionally they will be built around a specific dungeon and will use that as a way to unlock a unique class and evolutionary line that allows them to better serve the nation in a specific and unique way.”“Huh,” I said. So they were basically small army-like clubs. I wasn’t sure what to think about that.“The most famous are the Wyvern Knights,” Caprica said. “There’s a dungeon that gives a class that allows one to tame and ride wyverns. The knights serve as an aerial cavalry alongside airships. It’s a prestigious position to be in, and their membership is both exclusive and expensive to obtain.”“Ah, what do the Knights of the Long Rest specialise in?” Awen asked.Caprica nodded at the question. “They specialise in a few areas. Mostly they have magic that allows them to make others fall asleep. They’ve been used to suppress riots, and they can boost the recovery of those who are sleeping, as well as themselves when they’re asleep. I think they have a few more skills, but they are somewhat secretive and honestly, they’re not the most popular of the knightly orders.”Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.“The Knights of the Long Rest have always been close to the throne,” the King said. “And their loyalty is beyond reproach. There are two other dungeons afflicted with these Evil Roots within our borders, but I trust the knights and suspect they will welcome the aide more kindly than others might.”“Neat,” I said. “Well, in that case, I don’t see any harm in helping. When do we head out?”“Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “You’re forgetting something.”“I am?” I asked. I really couldn’t see what I was forgetting. A maid popped by and placed some cups down, then started filling them with tea.Amaryllis leaned forwards and took her cup between two talons. “Payment, Broccoli. We’re rendering a service to Sylphfree by not only clearing this one dungeon, but by teaching them how to clear their own. Dungeons are practically priceless. If we teach them how to save their dungeons from near-certain destruction, that teaching is similarly priceless.”“Oh,” I said.“The kingdom will, of course, cover all of your expenses so far,” the King said. He glanced back and over his loveseat and… and there was a butler there that was absolutely not there the last time I checked. “Could you make note of that, please?”“Covering our expenses is a nice start,” Amaryllis said. I could almost feel the greed wafting off of her. “Our ship was damaged on the way in, and the costs to repair and dock it will certainly add up as we have to wait longer within Sylphfree.”The King grinned. “Of course, of course. That’s perfectly understandable.”“Don’t let the children step all over you just because they’re small and innocent,” the Queen said.“I’m not so easily swayed, dear,” the King said. “How about this, as compensation for the work, each of you will be awarded fifty Sylphreen Ducats.”“That’s all?” Amaryllis asked.“It’s far beyond what even an expert would be paid,” the King said.“Ah, but experts can be trained and called upon from elsewhere,” Amaryllis said. “Riftwalkers with World-given quests are not nearly so common. Unless you plan on using Rainnewt to do the deed, then I suspect you’re not so much hiring an expert as you are hiring the only person anywhere who can help. That must have some value to it.”The King chuckled. “Very well then, I have been swayed by your incredible negotiating ability.”He definitely expected Amaryllis to try and squeeze a bit more out of him. But Amaryllis looked appropriately smug, so I don’t point out that she tripped right into the King’s trap.“One hundred gold each. Which I suspect is a bounty worthy of such a task. You will also be granted the right to take the class you earn from the dungeon, if you so choose. And I will sign a writ granting you rights of first choice on any items dropped during the excursion.”“Is that special?” I asked.Stephania was the one to reply this time. “It’s not impossible for someone outside of a knightly order to take on an order’s dungeon. Usually, the order will ask for a fee, but because the dungeons belong to the kingdom first, they don’t have a legal right to refuse a citizen access as long as the citizen has permission to access the dungeon. What they will do is force those attempting the dungeon to be escorted through it. It prevents untrained people from dying in a dangerous environment. Part of that contract gives the guides rights to anything found within the dungeon.”“Oh,” I said. That didn’t seem entirely fair. “Okay, well a hundred gold is a whole lot, so that seems fine to me.” I could recall a discussion with Amaryllis a long while ago, where she told me that a small airship cost about a thousand gold. We’d earn enough in one day to purchase a third of a ship! That was pretty huge!“Wonderful,” the King said. He clapped his hands, and a new butler bowed next to him and extended a piece of paper on a wooden board with a pen fixed to it. The King took the board and wrote something on the page pinned to it with quick, easy grace. He folded it up after signing it at the bottom, then the butler poured warm wax onto the front of the letter which the king touched with a big ring. “And now it’s quite official. We merely need some witnesses and your own signatures.”Caprica and Stephania both agreed to act as witnesses, which seemed fine. I guessed that three royal signatures on a contract made it pretty official.The contract was passed to Amaryllis, who signed it, then to me.By my will as King of Sylphfree, ruler of Goldenalden, and rightful liege of the lords and ladies of sylphkind and those within our rightful lands,I hereby decree that the following persons have permission, officially obtained, to carry with them the classes and possessions they have rightfully obtained from the Dungeon of the Lullaby Knight; Lady Amaryllis Albatross of the Harpy Mountains, Lady Awen Bristlecone of Mattergrove, and Captain Broccoli Bunch, of lands beyond the Rift.For the inestimable task of ridding our nation of the Evil Roots which infest its dungeons, they shall be awarded one hundred Sylphreen ducats for their brave work.By my name,Reggie IV G. SylphAs witnessed byCaprica B. SylphStephania R. SylphI stared for a moment, pen in hand and poised to sign. “Wait, your name is Reggie?”My friends both sighed. “Awa, Broccoli, can you not insult the king, please?”“I wasn’t!” I said. “It’s just, I didn’t expect his name to be Reggie. I thought he’d have a fancy name.”Caprica was notably not looking in my direction and had a hand over her mouth while her sister snickered quietly.The King actually pouted when his wife started to chuckle.“Well, so much for that,” he said.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eight — Away
Chapter Three Hundred and Eight — Away Caprica showed us to a guest suite in the palace where we each got our own room to sleep in. The day had been pretty long, so it didn’t take long for all of us to head to bed. The next morning started with a light breakfast in the suite’s shared dining room.A few hours after breakfast, when we were still wondering what to do, Caprica returned and gathered us up. “Is there any equipment you need?” Caprica asked.“We have some equipment at the inn,” I said. “Armour and such. We can’t go tackle a dungeon in borrowed dresses, I don’t think.”“Oh, you certainly could,” Caprica said. “With the number of people helping in this dive, you should be relatively safe if you choose not to help at all. But yes, I wouldn’t want to go into a dungeon without good equipment.”“I could use a crossbow,” Awen said. “Maybe a warhammer? Mine is back on the Beaver.”“If you have a dagger I could borrow, one suitable to be held by talons..?” Amaryllis said. She didn’t quite end her sentence, letting it float there as an almost-question.Caprica nodded. “Certainly. I’ll poke around in the armoury, we should have everything you need. Broccoli, do you have a weapon of choice?”“I use a spade most of the time,” I say.“A spade,” Caprica repeated. “Does that have any relation to why you used a broom in the arena?”“I have a makeshift weapon skill,” I said.“Ah, that makes sense. There was speculation that you used a broom and dustpan as a sort of message for Francisco. Not taking the fight as seriously as you could. Your explanation makes a lot more sense, knowing your personality.” Caprica escorted us out of the palace to a waiting carriage. “This is where I’ll be letting you go. We’ll see each other soon enough though, I’m sure. Do be safe while in the dungeon.”“You’re not coming with us?” I asked.She shook her head. “No, I don’t need to face a dungeon for a while, and besides, it’s... no place for a princess.” She frowned, then carried on. “It’ll only make the army folk going in more nervous. They’d no doubt insist on tripling the number of guards and it would take twice as long to accomplish half as much. Best to stay back and maybe try to help from here.”“That sucks,” I said. “I’d love to go on a proper adventure with you someday. Bye-bye hugs?” I asked. It wasn’t actually a question because I was already reaching over for a hug.Caprica chuckled and patted me on the back as I gave her a quick squeeze.Getting back to the inn only took a few minutes of clattering along the busy morning streets of Goldenalden, then we had a quick dash upstairs to get ready for a quick dive into a dungeon. “You know, I expected a lot of things from our visit here, but I didn’t consider that we might go dungeon diving again,” Amaryllis said.Awen shrugged her long coat on. “It’s not that unusual, is it? We’ve been going through a lot of dungeons to fight those Evil Roots. I guess it’s not too strange that we’re taking on another one.”“I guess,” Amaryllis said. She closed up the front of her own coat, then patted it down to make sure it was fit properly. “I think we’ve tackled more dungeons than most people will see in their entire lives, and that only in the space of a few months.”“That’s because we’re proper adventurers,” I said with a firm nod. “We’ll see a whole heap more before we’re done.”“And when will we be done?” Amaryllis asked.“Well, if Awen’s uncle is any indication, then we’ll be done when we’re old and fat and want to spend more time talking about all of our adventures instead of having new ones.”“My father always said that uncle would never stop. That the only way for him not to go on another big adventure is for one of them to finally be more than he can chew,” Awen said. “It always worried me that one day, he wouldn’t come back to brag about all the interesting things he saw.”I gave her a side-hug. “Don’t worry! I’m sure the way things are going, we’ll bump into him in the field one of these days. Maybe we can hit a dungeon together? Bet he’d be really proud to see some of the things you’ve invented.”Awen blushed, but she nodded all the same.We left the inn in another rush, Amaryllis being worried that we might be a bit late. We weren’t even sure where we were going, so I didn’t worry too much about being late.The carriage driver seemed to know where to head out, so once we jumped back in, we took off across the city once more.It took a bit, but eventually the carriage rolledto a stop and the driver opened the door.We were at one of the city’s docks, the more militaristic one, where every ship docked next to a pier hanging off the edge of the mountain was one of those boxy military ships, with big ballistae and metal sides.“Ladies, Captain,” a young sylph soldier said as he moved up to the side of our carriage, he gave us a hand to help us down. “Knight-Captain Covenseeker is waiting for you by pier A8. He asked that I escort you over.”I glanced around as I stepped out. There were several levels of piers here, with some reaching way out so that much larger ships could dock. It wasn’t nearly as busy as any of the commercial docks we’d been to. There were people moving things around, but it seemed pretty calm overall, very clean and orderly.I regretted not getting a coat or something as a chill wind whipped past us. There weren’t any buildings between us and the open sky to protect us from the weather.Pier A8 wasn’t too far off, a smaller pier with an all-black ship docked next to it. It wasn’t a huge vessel, barely half-again the length of the Beaver with the same boxy build that the sylph military ships seemed to favour. The crew were already moving about, preparing the ship to take off.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.A group were gathered next to the pier, sylph in nice uniforms, some of them tugging on pipes or big cigars so that a long stream of pale smoke trailed out of their group.The Knight-Captain was easy to make out, he was the one in full plate armour. He grinned and detached himself from the rest of the group to head over and meet us halfway. “You must be Captain Bunch,” he said as he shook my hand. “And Ladies Albatross and Bristlecone,” he continued, this time bowing to my friends.“You’re the Knight Captain?” I asked.“Indeed,” he said. His smile had his big bushy moustache twitching up. “And you three are my saviours today. Come, come, you should meet some of the others.”“Are they the ones we’ll be going into the dungeons with?” I asked.“Oh no, most of us are too far past our prime to be crawling in some old dungeon. We’ll be sending younger, sharper folk down with you. They’ll be better able to keep you safe, no worries. I made sure you’d be accompanied by the very best the Knights of the Long Rest have to offer.”We reached the other older gentlesylph and were reintroduced, then there was a long list of names and titles and ranks, so many that I lost track after the first three. They seemed like important people though, a general, one admiral, and a few directors and members of some groups that were interested in fixing the dungeons in and around Goldenalden. We were going to be working with their subordinates.A bell tolled and the introductions were put off as everyone started to board the airship.“Captain, ladies!” a young sylph called out to us. We turned to find a soldier running over with a stack of boxes in his arms. He was sweaty and red-faced, as if he’d just been sprinting over. “Package for you, from Princess Caprica.”Amaryllis frowned and opened the topmost package to reveal a long crossbow in a box carefully crafted to hold it in place without rattling about. Dozens of bolts were strapped in there too, ready to be used. “Caprica’s weaponry,” Amaryllis said. “Thank you, we’ll take these off your hands.”Amaryllis handed Awen two of the boxes, then took the smallest one for herself. The last was mine, at least that’s what the little tag looped around its handle said.“The Princess also gave me this letter,” the sylph said. He bowed as he presented a letter to us.Amaryllis took it, then unfolded it unceremoniously. “Oh, she says we can keep the weapons. As long as they’re boxed up, we shouldn’t have any trouble with law-enforcement, and if we do, we can always just complain to Caprica about it.”“Ladies!” Knight-Captain Covenseeker called out to us. “Do you need assistance?”“We’re good!” I called out. We rushed over to the airship and up the gangplank to climb aboard.A sailor led us down a level to a smoking room where the sylph officers were pouring over a map amidst clouds of smelly smoke.“Did you want to see the dungeon layout?” Knight Captain Covenseeker asked.“Uh, can we have a copy of that map?” I asked. I didn’t mind spending time with the officers, they’d been polite so far, but all that smoke was a bit much. Besides, I kind of wanted to see what was in the box Caprica had sent over. The crossbow Awen received had looked really cool, though I didn’t get much time to look at it.“I’m afraid we only have the one map. The Order of the Long Rest doesn’t make a habit of spreading maps of our dungeon around.”“Oh,” I said. “In that case, maybe we’ll look at it later? Uh, is there a room we could use maybe?”The Knight-Captain seemed very understanding as he led us to a small resting room. It had a small porthole looking out of the ship, and a couple of long sofas that someone small could lounge on. He told us to rest up and not to worry before heading back out.“He’s nice,” I said.“He has nothing to lose from being nice,” Amaryllis said.“What’s that mean?” I asked.“Oh, nevermind,” Amaryllis said. She sat on the very edge of one of the seats and opened her box. “Let’s see what the Princess found.”Caprica, it seemed, found a really pretty dagger.It was nice and long, a bit longer than the knife Amaryllis usually carried, with a blade shaped like a spread wing, it even had a few little carvings in it that hinted at a feathery shape.“This is gorgeous,” Amaryllis said. She spun the knife around, and I noted that the handle was strangely curved. “I think this is spoils of war. No way the sylph made such a beautiful harpy spellsword.”I used Insight on the dagger.Featherlight, quick cast dagger, old“It suits you, I think,” I said.Amaryllis nodded, then found a sheath in the box. “No hidden sheath, but I can hardly complain,” she said as she stood up and strapped the knife to her hip.“Awa, do I go next?” Awen asked. She was practically bouncing on the edge of her seat.“How about you do one, then I do mine, then you do your other one?” I asked.Awen laughed. “Sure,” she said before she popped open the box with the crossbow. She laid it down and very carefully reached down to touch it. “It’s... it’s a Snowlander crossbow,” she said.Standard Sharpshooter’s Bow, NewThe box didn’t have much by means of decoration, it was still pretty though, nearly all metal, with a few pulleys and a folding crank on the side. It even had a small sight that could unfold from its side. “A Snowlander weapon? From the north?”“My uncle had something like this once,” Awen said. She seemed almost reluctant to take it.“Then you’ll be just like him, right?” I asked.She paused, nodded, then picked the weapon out of its box. “I’ll use it well,” she said.I grinned. My turn!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Nine — Weedbane the Dandelion Slayer
Chapter Three Hundred and Nine — Weedbane the Dandelion Slayer I always loved opening presents. It never happened too often, which made every event where I did get a gift that much more special.Technically, the boxes that Caprica had sent over weren’t presents-they lacked the always-fun wrapping paper-but I decided to count it as one anyway.The box tagged Broccoli Bunch was as long as I was tall (not counting my ears) but quite thin, made of some sort of wood covered in leather bound in place with big knobby brass studs. It was quite long, longer than any of the other boxes by a good bit.My tail was twitching with nervous energy, and my cheeks were starting to hurt.“Well, are you going to open it today, or are you just going to stare at the box?” Amaryllis asked.“I haven’t decided yet,” I admitted. "On the one hand, opening the box means I get the present. On the other, leaving it closed means I get to anticipate the present, and sometimes that’s even more fun.”“You... you absolute moron,” Amaryllis muttered. “Come on, open it up or I will.”“No! You can’t! Opening a present is a sacred moment,” I said. Dropping to my knees in front of the box, I undid the two clasps holding it shut, then pulled the top open.What waited for me within was a long wooden staff with a curve near its middle and a small handle poking out mid-shaft. At the end was a curved blade tucked along the side of the shaft, long and narrow and super thin, made of something that almost glowed. It was fixed to the end of the staff by a rather complicated looking swivel mechanism, with some sort of lock on it.“A scythe?” Awen asked.“Huh,” I said. Reaching down, I grabbed the scythe by the middle and lifted it up. The blade clunked down and something went ‘snick’ as it locked into place. “With an unfolding blade. Not what I expected.”“It’s a gardening tool,” Amaryllis said. “Or farming, I suppose. Magical too.”Magical? I used Insight on the scythe.Weedbane, Ancient“Whoa,” I said.I noticed Amaryllis crouching down next to the box for a moment, and when she stood, she had a small note in hand. “A bit of history on your new toy,” she said.“Oh?” I asked. I looked around for a place to put the scythe, then handed it to Awen when she reached for it. “I want to see.”Amaryllis handed me the note.Dear Broccoli,This old thing has been sitting in storage for an eternity. I believe it was gifted to a gardener who worked at the old palace, but no one has claimed it since. It should be enchanted with a few dozen old utility spells. May it serve you well in your quest to rid the world of a new sort of weed.-CapricaThe writing was hasty, but still very pretty. “So, it’s old, huh.”“That's good. Older items tend to interact better with their own enchantments,” Amaryllis said.“The mechanism here’s not too complicated. See, it’s just a bolt that unfolds and locks the blade in place, with a little leaf-spring to keep the bolt from unlatching. You just need to press in... here.” Awen’s face went red as she pressed hard on a little stub with her thumb. Something eventually clicked, and she was able to refold the scythe’s blace. “Easy.”“Cool,” I said as I took Weedbane back. “How do I even use this? There’s a handle here, and I guess you hold this part?”This was going to be a great improvised weapon, if the level of improvisation was equivalent to how hard it was to use as a weapon. Maybe if I planned to exclusively fight people by hitting their ankles. Or if I was fighting really short enemies.I gave the scythe an experimental swing, then held back. It was the sort of thing that would require a lot of space to move around in, and we weren’t in a very spacious room.“Watch it with that thing,” Amaryllis said. “I bet the edge is magically sharpened.”“Oh, right,” I said a bit sheepishly. “I should put it away for now, at least until we arrive at the dungeon.”Putting actions to words, I fiddled with the catch-it really was hard to press in-and then folded Weedbane back into its case.“Alright. Awen, you have a present left right?”Awen nodded. She closed the box with her new crossbow in it, then set the second box she got atop it. This one was narrower and a bit shorter, about the length of my arm from shoulder to fingertip.She undid the clasps on the box, then flicked it open. Within, resting in some cloth padding, was a warhammer. It was boxy, with a long square-handled hilt and a head that wasn’t any rounder.“That’s a sylph hammer if I’ve ever seen one,” Amaryllis said.I leaned forwards and used Insight on it too.Sylph Heavy Infantry Hammer, NewAwen pulled it out of the box and spun it this way and that. “I can’t see anything too special about it,” she admitted. “It looks almost like it was drop forged.”“If it’s a plain old standard arm, then the only enchantments on it will be to prevent rusting and maybe to lighten the weapon. Both the sylph and harpy are keen on having lighter tools,” Amaryllis said.“Wouldn’t that defeat the point of it being a hammer?” Awen asked. She gave the hammer a couple of experimental swings, then nodded. “It feels nice. My other hammer’s handle is a bit bigger. I think it was made for a man’s hand, and mine are small. This is nicer.”“Neat,” I said. “Should we pack everything up and head back out? I want to ask the Knight-Captain about the dungeon before we reach it.”We found Knight-Captain Covenseeker in the airship’s smoking space still, the gentlemanly old knight chatting up a few of the generals. He brightened when we approached. I hoped that no one noticed the aura of Cleaning magic around me getting rid of all the smoke.The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“Ladies, Captain, how can I assist?” he asked.“We were hoping to see the map of the dungeon,” I said. “And maybe you can tell us a bit about it too?”“Certainly,” he said. “Rumour has it that all three of you are part of the Exploration Guild?”“Yup,” I said. Technically Awen hadn’t signed on, actually. We needed to get that rectified at some point. I was certain the local guildmaster wouldn’t mind adding her to the rolls. “We’ve dived our share of dungeons before. This will be my... uh sixth, I think.”“Impressive,” he said with a nod. The other generals nodded as well. There was much pipe and cigar waving for a moment. “The Long Rest Dungeon might not prove so difficult a challenge then.” With a gesture to the side, he presented us with the dungeon map.Six floors, each one taking up a square on the large map, with some arrows and lines showing where the floors connected to each other, and little notations pointing out facts about the dungeon.“The Long Rest is a relatively young dungeon, five floors, each connecting back to a central room.” He tapped what I had thought was the first floor. “This room here. Every time you complete a floor, you return to this room, and when you re-exit the room back into the dungeon, you’ll be on the next floor down.”“Does it move?” I asked.“The dungeon? No, I don’t believe so. It might well be some magical effect. Teleportation, perhaps. Though it is seamless. A portal, maybe. We had some academics study the passageways some time ago, but nothing came of it.”“Interesting,” I said.“What’s the dungeon’s theme?” Amaryllis asked. “Beyond sleep, I mean.”Knight Captain Covenseeker hummed. “Difficult to say, exactly. Or rather, difficult to sum up in a single word. I believe the dungeon’s main theme centres around lullabies. Perhaps dreams?”“Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun,” I said. “And it gives you a knight class?”“It does! Nightie Knight. We’re quite fortunate that the name is respectable.”“Respectable?” I asked.One of the generals chuckled. “The poor Knights of the Dark Burst.”“Why? What’s so poor about them?” Awen asked.“The class given by their dungeon is the Flatulent Boomer class. Deadly, yes, but perhaps not a name worthy of polite company,” the Knight Captain said.I held back a giggle with great effort. “Yup, that’s... yeah. Nightie Knight sounds much cuter.”“What kind of threat are we talking about here?” Amaryllis asked. “A five-floor dungeon won’t be without risks.”Covenseeker nodded. “Indeed. But you won’t need to worry about any of that. We’ll have some of the very best down there with us. And I’ve gone through the dungeon a dozen times already. Nothing will harm a hair on our heads, I promise it on my honour.”The generals all nodded and made a big show of making it look like what he was saying was very impressive.“If you say so,” I said.“You just need to worry about showing us how to get rid of those nasty roots that settled in. Quite the pest, I hear.”“Have you tried to deal with them?” I asked.“We sent a few younger knights down to deal with them, but they came back banged up and bruised and claiming that there was nothing to be done. Silly young boys that don’t know better. We’ll show them how it's done.”“Right,” I said.I glanced at my friends who both seemed equally worried. Being confident was great and all, but sometimes the Evil Roots turned a dungeon weird, and that might mean that previous experience in the dungeon wasn’t worth as much.“Well, thank you, Knight Captain Covenseeker. I’m sure we’ll all feel very safe down in the dungeon. Do you know how long it will take to get there?”“Another half hour, winds willing,” he said. “Our little fort isn’t all that far from the capital. That way if an emergency arises, we’ll be some of the first on the scene.”I felt like that last part was directed to the others more than it was to us. Was he going to use this trip as a way to make the Knights of the Long Rest look better? That wasn’t terribly kind.“We’ll go rest for a bit then,” I said. “Maybe get our stretching done before we have to walk all over the dungeon.”“Of course, of course,” he said.My friends and I excused ourselves to the far end of the room where we found some seats next to one of the only portholes on this level of the ship.“They’re clueless,” Amaryllis said. “Or they’re downplaying the threat posed by an Evil Root.”“How long do you think the root has been there?” I asked.She frowned. “They sent people in. Which means they knew about it. Call it one day to learn about it, a day to send someone in, another to return to the capital and ask for assistance, then today. So that the very least four days have passed. That’s a strict minimum. I’m going to assume that the root has been active for much longer.”“That might be troublesome,” I said.Awen nodded. “We’re going to have to be careful. Plus, we’ll be going in with a lot of people.”“Won’t that make it easier?” I asked.“These won’t be expert adventurer buns taking things very seriously,” Amaryllis said. “Half of the people we’ll be with will be there because they’re an expert of some sort or another, not a fighter. We might have to carry a lot of dead weight.”“Oh,” I saidThis whole expedition was starting to feel like a bit of a bad idea.“We’re just going to have to do our best, I guess,” I said. “Make sure everyone that goes in comes out in tip-top shape, and wipe out the root while we’re at it. Maybe they’ll take the threat of the roots more seriously too?”“We can only hope.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Ten — The Knights of the Long Rest
Chapter Three Hundred and Ten — The Knights of the Long Rest The airship banked around and flew in a gently spiralling curve that brought us lower and closer to the ground.I squished my face up against a porthole until my nose made a mark on the glass so that I could better see the fort below.It wasn’t as big as I had imagined. Or as ancient-looking.The fort was built up against the side of a smaller, stubby mountain. It didn’t have as much of an incline as the capital, though it was pretty tall and jaggedy all the same. The fort had large walls on the edges furthest from the mountain, growing smaller as they approached the mountainside.Part of the fort was a complex of stone buildings and two large square towers with battlements above and arrow slits all around. Below them was the main keep, and then a wide open landing strip, entirely covered in gravel and with a row of blinking lights down the middle.The latter bit didn’t seem to fit into the aesthetic that the rest of the fort was going for, though Knight Captain Covernseeker did say that the dungeon wasn’t all that old, so perhaps the entire fort was relatively young too.The airship slowed down for its final descent, and I saw sylph jumping off the sides with long ropes trailing after them. Those were slid through big eyelets on the ground, then hooked onto winches that were powered by ground crews.The ship lurched as we finally touched down, and I pulled back from the porthole just as a rig with a staircase was rolled up next to us.“Alright everyone,” Coverseeker said, his voice booming through the room. “We’ve arrived. One at a time, gentlebeings.”The older sylph got off first, and then my friends and I followed after them. We climbed up to the deck, then moved to the side where the ramp I’d seen was being affixed to the ship’s side where the railing was removed to make access easier.When we arrived on solid ground again, it was to find a row of four sylph all decked out in plate armour with swords by their hips and proper knightly helmets tucked against their chest. They saluted in unison on the barked order of a sylph in armour similar to Knight Captain Covenseeker.“The Knights of the Long Rest are ready, sir,” the knight said.Knight Captain Covenseeker stepped up, looking more serious than he had all day and returned the salute. “Noted, Lieutenant. Is the team assembled?”“Yes sir,” the lieutenant said. He turned and gestured towards the keep. “The squad is assembling in the dive room, sir. All guests to the fort are accounted for.”“Well done,” Knight Captain Covenseeker said. He spun around to face all of us. “Gentlebeings, please follow me. We will find rest and respite in the main tower. Captain Bunch, Ladies, please follow the lieutenant.”The gaggle of generals and officers toddled off under their cloud of cigar smoke, leaving us with the lieutenant and the four stiff-backed knights.“Hello, sir,” I said with a nod to the lieutenant. “And hi to the bunch of you too!” I added for the knight behind him.The lieutenant didn’t seem to know how to react. Poor guy, was no one ever friendly to him before? “Ah, hello, ma’am. You must be the expert.”“How did you know?” I asked.“The, ah, ears, ma’am.”I almost reached up to touch them, but held back. “I guess they are a defining feature. Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Will you just be escorting us to the dungeon?”“And through it,” he said. “My name is Lieutenant Petalwrought. I’ll be your guide today.”“I’m Broccoli, and these are my friends, Amaryllis and Awen. We’ll be in your care, Lieutenant Petalwrought.”The Lieutenant nodded once, then glanced away, as if he couldn’t meet my eyes. “Ah, if it’s not too impertinent to ask, ma’am, do you have any training in dungeon delving? The reports I received were light on details.”“My friends and I have gone through half a dozen dungeons,” I said. “We’re not experts, but we’ve tackled a few together, and a couple with bigger groups. I don’t think any of us have been in an expedition this big though.”Amaryllis cleared her throat. “The Knight Captain seemed... perhaps a little less-than-aware of the dangers brought in by the Evil Roots. Have you explored the dungeon since?”“I went in with two knight-recruits. We barely made it out alive,” the lieutenant said. “It’s a run I’ve done frequently. The dungeon has changed in the last few weeks, it's become far less hospitable. Not that it was ever entirely safe, but some floors had puzzles that could be solved non-violently.”“That’s really unfortunate,” I said. “What about the others? We’re going down as a whole group, right?”The lieutenant nodded, then gestured towards the keep. “Shall we start heading to the dive room? I imagine the others will be growing impatient.”“Sure,” I said.We started across the courtyard while sailor sylphs ran about taking care of the airship. The other knights followed behind us in two neat rows of two. “We’ll be going down with four experts.”“I thought there would be more,” Amaryllis said.“I... may have overstepped my position a little,” Petalwrought said. “But I vetoed any member that didn’t have at least basic combat training or experience. I had to promise that the rest could come down once the bulk of the threat is handled.”“That might be for the best,” Amaryllis siad. “The dungeon will only get harder as the days pass. Having to watch over dead weight will make it even more of a challenge.”“We shouldn’t call people dead weight,” I said.Amaryllis huffed. “If their presence harms us more than it helps us, then that’s what they are. We know how to fix this issue, they’re just coming along to see how it’s done.”Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.“You’re making us sound like big heroes,” I said.“Isn’t that exactly what we are?” Amaryllis asked. She sounded genuinely confused.I considered it. “I don’t know? I don’t think so. We’ve just been having fun mostly. Sometimes we stop by to help people, but it’s not a big deal.”Amaryllis shrugged. “Your reputation is going to catch up to you eventually, Broccoli.“It’s not a bad reputation,” Awen assured me.The front of the fort was enclosed so that the only way in was through a corridor leading to the front door. I imagined it was to make it harder for people who could fly to sneak up on the entrance from above.He opened the door for us, and we moved through a long corridor. The keep was all grey walls and flickering magical sconces, with a bright red carpet laid out on the floor the only concession to comfort.In my opinion the place could really use a more homey touch, maybe some flowers, a photo or two hanging off the wall? The lieutenant led us through a room at the far end, then through an armoury where armour hung off of racks next to swords and shields and other weapons. The room smelled like oil and leather.“This way,” he said.Just past the armoury was a very strange room, mostly because I wasn’t sure if it was a room. The ground was all stone, but not quarried stone, just the sort of uneven rocks you’d find outside, though a path had been worn through them.The walls ended unevenly, with the floor being at a bit of an angle.The path through the room went off to the side, then down, where the stones had been rearranged into steps. At the bottom were a few sylphs, and a cave opening. “Is that the dungeon?” I asked.“It is,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “The keep was built around it, as you can see. Difficult to do, on account of the land around the dungeon’s entrance, but we managed.”I nodded along. “Why not remodel things a bit?”“You can’t,” Amaryllis said. “Not entirely. Messing with a dungeon’s entrance is just a bad idea all around. Besides, the entrance is more like a portal, if you dug behind it, you’ll just find dirt and rock, not some tunnel or whatever.”“Oh, right,” I said.“Everyone!” Lieutenant PetalWrought barked. “These are the experts the capital has sent over. Please, let’s all greet each other, then check our gear. Then we’ll be off into the dungeon.”I nodded, then waved to the group. “Hello. I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch of the Beaver Cleaver. I’m the one that has magic that can break Evil Roots.”“I’m Amaryllis Albatross, thunder mage.”“Awa, I’m Awen Bristlecone, um, mechanic?”The four sylph glanced at each other, then one stepped up. A small sylph woman. Small for a sylph, that was. “Aria Lightspring, magical researcher, Army Division of Sciences.” She nodded to us quite firmly. Aria had an army uniform on, but over that she had rigging with a bunch of tools and a backpack that seemed loaded with stuff. A sword hung by her hip, and I noticed a buckler on the side of her pack.“I’m Erin Winterhand,” another of the sylph said. “I’m with the Department for Dungeon Protection. We work to ensure that the nation’s dungeons are safe and secure and well-documented.” Erin bowed to us. He had gear that I’d first associate with adventurers. A pack, a few knives, a short spear and an assortment of armour that was definitely not part of an official kit. He also needed a bit of a shave.“Lucille Rosenfell,” the next said. “Mage.” She had robes on, a big hat with a bit of a cone in its centre and a badge affixed to it, and a staff. Definitely a magic-user.“And I’m Bron, Bron Talldance,” the last said. He was a big boy, all muscle covered in a thick gambeson. He was grinning at us. “I’m with Magical Games and Sports. Don’t reckon I’d usually be here, but I can swing a mace as good as any, and I know my share about plants and the like.”“Hello everyone, I hope we’ll all have plenty of nice experiences in the dungeon together,” I said.The lieutenant nodded. “And I’m Lieutenant Petalwrought, but you all know me already. These four Knights will be accompanying us in the dungeon. They will be keeping you safe, but down there, what I say is law. You have an idea, you pass it by me first. Understood?”I nodded, and there was a chorus of ‘understoods’ from some of the others.“Good. We haven’t been given nearly as much time to prepare as I would want, but I suspect giving that root more time would only make things worse. Perhaps speed is of the essence here. Nonetheless, we’ll be going through the dungeon slowly and carefully.”Everyone gathered up in a tighter group, though it was clear that we weren’t all comfortable with each other yet.“Alright, I’ll take the lead. First room should be safe, but I have my doubts,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. He pulled out his sword, and all four knights did the same.My friends and I scrambled to grab our gear. Awen slid a bolt into her bow, Amaryllis tested the sheath of her dagger and Weedbane snicked open. That got a few weird looks. I brought the scythe up so that the blade hung over my shoulder. “We’re ready,” I said.Without much fanfare, we started into the dungeon as one big group.You are Entering the The Dungeon of the Lullaby Knight Level 12—14Your entire party has entered the Dungeon. Seal Dungeon until exit?Dungeon left UnsealedAny Person can Enter Dungeon Instance.Any Person can Exit Dungeon Instance.
This was it. I could feel the tension radiating off of everyone else as we marched down a deep, dank tunnel, where the light was dim and... and where a faint song hung off the air, too quiet to be made out, but definitely there.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eleven — A Full Bedspread
Chapter Three Hundred and Eleven — A Full Bedspread The dungeon’s main room, the one that was supposed to lead to every floor, looked like a bedroom.A cute bedroom at that. There was a small desk to one side, a child’s bed on the other, and a bookcase filled with toys and baubles tucked away next to another doorway. The room was quite big, more than large enough for all twelve of us to step in.“This isn’t what I was expecting,” Amaryllis said. She knelt down and poked at a teddy bear, casually left on the floor atop a colourful braided carpet. “I thought this would be more... knightly.”Lieutenant Petalwrought chuckled. “You’d think that, yes. The Knights of the Long Rest try not to advertise the fact that our dungeon is themed in such a childish way. Though I would beg all of you not to lower your guard. The teeth on the monsters we will be fighting are more real than any nightmare, and their magics are potent. Moreso now.”I nodded as I glanced away from the bookshelf. Every book on there looked like a children’s book of rhymes and nursery songs. “Where do we go from here?” I asked.The lieutenant pointed to the door ahead of us. “Right through there. That’ll open onto the first floor. On leaving the floor we will be back in this room here, and we can re-exit the dungeon, but you cannot leave the floor until it is complete.”Aria, the magical researcher, perked up at that. She tugged a small notepad from her backpack and started scribbling. “Has that changed at all since the introduction of the invasive species?”“You mean the strange plants?” Lieutenant Petalwrough asked. “No, I don’t think that rule has changed but... ah, you will see one of the changes that have occurred once we’re passed the first floor.”“Evil Roots,” I said. “That’s what the quest prompts about them call them.”Aria and the others looked at me. “There are quests relating to them?” she asked.“Oh, yeah. The World really doesn’t like these root things. I don’t know if they’re like a sickness, or like you said, an invasive species, but they’re bad news. They’ll suck up all the mana in the dungeon too. I don’t know if they’ve ever killed one that way, but I wouldn’t be surprised.”Aria jotted down a few more things. “No wonder the crown wants this dealt with so quickly.”“It’s a big old problem is what it is,” Bron said. “So, we moving on?”“In a moment,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “First, we go over the first floor’s rules, and how to get past it. Then we decide on a formation and some contingencies. We won’t have time to discuss these things on the floor itself, not if we intend to pass it unharmed.”Everyone seemed to take his word seriously, and he gave us a grateful nod.“The first floor is a trial by combat. This dungeon has never shied away from those. The floor is shaped roughly like an arena, though the footing is hard to travel upon. If you have a difficult time walking, try skipping your way forward. It will make more sense once you’re on the floor itself.”“What is the combat against?” Lucille, the wizard sylph asked. She adjusted her grip on her big staff. “Any known weaknesses we can exploit?”Petalwrought nodded. “There are two types of adversaries. The edge of the arena is lined with creatures we’ve identified as blankifolds. Though of a strange and perhaps unique variety.”“What are those?” Aria asked.“Large creatures made of magical cloth-like material,” Amaryllis said. “They envelope people, smother them, then eat them.”The lieutenant nodded. “These are made of a quilt-like material. If you stray too far to the edge of the arena, they will ambush you. They might move towards you regardless. They are weak to fire, or anything else that cloth would be weak to. Piercing attacks will harm them, though not very well. Crushing attacks are useless. Your best bet is to try to cut them apart. They aren’t much stronger than a blanket, truly. If they capture you, try to make yourself bigger. Spread your arms and legs apart. They will have a difficult time enveloping you that way.”That was kind of spooky.“The main adversary on the floor will be in the centre, a child’s bed mobile.”“A what?” Erin asked. He’s been pretty quiet so far, but I could tell he was listening.“It’s a device that hangs over a bed, with small objects attached to toys on it. It spins, to distract a baby,” the lieutenant said. “This one will have five creatures tied to it. Usually knights, warriors, perhaps lions or bears. You need to defeat all five to defeat the mobile, and on doing so, the door to the next floor unlocks.”“So,” Lucille said. “Walk in, stay close to the centre, defeat the floor boss, then move on?”“Ideally, yes.”I raised my hand. “Has the Evil Root infected anything here?”“Not the last time we explored the floor,” he said. “But that may have changed.”“Formation?” Erin asked.“I will challenge the floor boss with two knights. The other two will guard you,” the lieutenant said. “I know that some of you are capable fighters, but I’ll ask that you focus primarily on keeping yourselves and your comrades safe. The floor boss is unable to leave a certain set area, so they shouldn’t be a risk to you. Though on occasion, the floor boss has had forms capable of using some sort of magic. I’ll warn everyone if that’s the case.”“That's a lot of risk you’re shouldering mostly on your own,” Amaryllis said.“All of the knights here have faced this dungeon before. Several times each on our own. We should all be capable of taking on the floor boss, and with three of us working together, it shouldn’t be an issue,” the lieutenant said. “But, if there is trouble, then we’ll back out of the boss’s range and regroup. Everyone understand?”A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.Nods all around, and then Lieutenant Petalwrought moved over to the door at the end of the room, half-turned, and pointed to two of the knights.“You two after me, then the group, the other knights take the rear. Keep your eyes open and your weapons sharp.”He opened the door and slipped in.We followed a moment later, filing into a long corridor with pastel walls and a carpeted floor. It was lit only by a dim, warm light coming from the end of the hall. When we exited it was onto a soft, padded floor, covered in a strange cloth surface. It took looking around at the entire pattern of the floor to figure out that we were on a quilt. A quilt on a huge bed.I jumped up and down, feeling the ground bounce below me.It wasn’t quite like being on a trampoline. Those had a lot more bounce than this. This was more like jumping atop a pile of blankets. There was a lot of give, but not much pushback.The floor was square, with walls covered in pretty wallpaper that had giant teddy bears and animals on it, though the wallpaper seemed scratched and weather worn in places, and I could tell that some parts were stained.The middle of the room rose up to a big hill. Or maybe it was less like a hill and more like a huge blanket with something beneath it. Atop that hill, with a massive chain leading way, way up into the darkness where a ceiling should have been, was a mobile.It was tilted really hard to one side, so that the lowest of the items on it was resting on the hilltop as if it was a discarded toy.“Look,” Awen said. She was pointing off to the side.I looked, but couldn’t see what she was pointing at. The floor was all quilted patterns, different bits of cloth of different colours, all laying next to each other in neat little squares.Then I noticed some of those squares moving.“Oh, I see them,” I said.Quilted Blankifold, level 10, stalkingThey didn’t look all that dangerous, but then, they were magical killer blankies, and I wasn’t sure what to think of that.“We have... that’s a knight on the hill,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “So, knight, elephant, shooting star, sheep, wizard.”I glanced along the circle of the mobile. There were indeed five ropes hanging from it, with a stuffed elephant, a big plush star, a sheep, and a robed wizard toy. They were all bigger than I was, which made it hard to really pinpoint the scale of things.I did notice one other thing though. “Wait!” I said.“Yes?” the lieutenant asked.Pointing to the mobile, I tried to gesture to the chain holding it up. “There’s a length of root around the chain, do you see it?”“I see it,” Amaryllis confirmed. “That means that the floor boss is likely corrupted.”“Do you know what that will mean for those of us fighting it?” Petalwrought asked.“I don’t,” I said. “It might even be easier. Sometimes the root makes enemies in a dungeon a bit stupider. They go berserk and will attack even if they should be cautious. And sometimes they’ll ruin their own floor puzzles. We went through an undead dungeon once, and a lot of the undead were unable to move because they had roots growing through them.”“Interesting,” Aria said. She scribbled something down. “Would you say that the root hampered the dungeon more than it made it more dangerous?”“Uh. I think so? When we cleared the root in that dungeon, the dungeon monsters started attacking the roots in the dungeon. Like an immune system.”“A what system?” Aria asked.“The thing that allows your body to fight off infections and illnesses,” Lucille said. “It’s what makes you feverish to burn off an illness.”Aria muttered something while writing that down. “If that’s the case, then these roots truly are antagonistic to the dungeon itself.”“More on that once we’ve cleared the floor,” the lieutenant said. “Stay here, and watch out for the blankifolds.”The two knights with the lieutenant stepped up, swords whispering out of their scabbards while the two that remained stood on either end of our group, facing outwards.I shifted to the side so that I had more room, then held onto my scythe. I didn’t quite know how to use it yet, but I wanted it close by if anything jumped out at us. Still, most of my attention was on the oncoming fight.The three knights climbed up the hill, shields raised and ready, swords in high guards next to them, ready to plunge out against anything that came too close.The mobile above shifted, tilting back a bit, and with that motion, the knight on its nearest end rose off the ground and stood.It was a toy knight, with jointed arms and legs, and a body made of wood. Even its sword was more of a wooden plank, with some rough cuts along it to give it an edge. It raised a shield by its side, a large kite shield, almost as tall as it was, and its helmeted head rose up to stare at its oncoming foes.“Awa, reminds me a little of that puppet dungeon,” Awen said.“Did that one have an Evil Root within it?” Aria asked.“No, just puppets,” Awen said. “I think that might have been worse, actually. They’re kind of scary.”“You find them scary?” Amaryllis asked.Awen blushed to the roots of her hair. “Awa... no?”Amaryllis crossed her wings. “Why didn’t you say anything?”“I, ah, didn’t want to disappoint you. Since you like them so much?” Awen asked.I held back a giggle, then patted Amaryllis on the back. “It’s okay. I still love you, even if your hobby is scary.”“It is not!”“Maybe we should be paying more attention, you know?” Bron asked.“Ah, right,” I said. Time to get our heads into the game. No goofing off now!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twelve — Lay Them to Rest
Chapter Three Hundred and Twelve — Lay Them to Rest Lieutenant Petalwrought fought the toy knight with grace and skill. He reminded me of Bastion, though his stance was lower, and he struck with more force and slid back with less finesse. A different fighting style, but one that wasn’t too far away, then?The toy knight swung its wooden sword around with big, sweeping arcs that unbalanced it and sent it spinning. Even though it was clumsy, I still had the impression that it was dangerous. The toy’s arms were pretty long, and that wooden sword, even if it wasn’t very sharp, was still heavy-looking. The lieutenant and his two companions made sure never to be close to it, not even trying to block the blows with their shields.The blankifolds around us shifted closer. Like curious dogs chasing a scent.Lucille raised her wizard’s staff, then pointed the end of it to the nearest. “Permission to burn it out?” she asked.The nearest knight considered it for a moment. “Granted,” he said.A whooshing ball of fire raced out of the end of Lucille’s staff, hotter than anything I could produce by far. It splashed against the monster, then stuck to it, the fire almost acting like a liquid.The blankifold squirmed for a bit, but it was mostly made of fabric, and cloth wasn’t exactly the most fireproof of materials.Unfortunately, the floor was also made of fabric.“Oh, that’s annoying,” Lucille said. She waved her staff around, and I felt the air grow dry as the air shifted in her direction. A ball of water formed, and she fired it out ahead in a big wave that splashed over the burning blankifold and the quilted floor around it.Water hissed and smoke rose. When it cleared the fire was gone, and the blankifold was very much dead.Ding! Congratulations, you have burned out Quilted Blankifold, level 10!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Huh,” I said.“Got experience for that?” Amaryllis guessed. I nodded and she continued. “It’s normal. Big parties like this are pretty terrible for levelling though. The experience isn’t much, and it’s split too many ways.”“That's why you need to make up for it by eliminating more targets,” Lucille said. “Though perhaps let’s not use fire.”“I’m not great with ranged options,” I said. “Not unless cloth-monsters are weak to Cleaning magic.”Bron chuckled, a deep, booming sound. “No, I’m afraid not.”“They’re coming this way,” Erin said. He pointed with the tip of his spear at the blankifolds, who were, indeed, coming our way.I squinted. No, they weren’t actually. They were all moving, but not all towards us. A lot of them were shifting carefully towards the middle of the room, towards the hill where the lieutenant was fighting.The toy knight was looking worse for wear. An arm had been clipped off at the elbow, and a whole leg was missing. Its sword was gone too, so all it could do was hop on one leg and try to kick the knights around it.Soon it would be replaced by another one of the toys on the mobile.“They’re surrounding the lieutenant,” Aria said. “Is that normal behaviour?”One of the knights guarding our group swore. “It happens,” he said. “We need to form a circle around the hill.”“Let’s do it right, then,” Bron said. “Everyone can fight here, but we should space out our best fighters to provide uniform protection. Captain Broccoli here’s the important one, too.”“Agreed,” the same knight said.They hatched a quick plan. Everyone would form a ring around the boss fight, far enough to be well out of range of the fighting atop the hill. The set-up was simple enough. I was going to be sandwiched between the two knights, which was a little annoying, then clockwise from there, it was Amaryllis, Bron, Aria, Lucille, Erin, Awen, and finally back around to the knight that was on my right.It took a bit for those on the far end to get to their spots, but the blankifolds were slow movers, and we had plenty of time to position ourselves. And plenty of room to move in, too.I swiped my scythe through the air a few times. Weedbane was going to be tricky to use. The angle on the blade was all wrong for slashing, and it was a bit top-heavy. The pole being crooked also made it hard to hang onto it.A blankifold started to undulate its way closer to me. One of the knights stepped out towards it.“Ah! Wait, can I get this one?” I asked. “This is a new weapon I still need to figure out, and I’d rather do that with something easy.”The knight paused, then glanced at the blankifold. It was only level ten, and he was right there. “As you wish, Captain,” he said. He stepped back a bit, but still kept his sword by his side.I grinned as I stepped up. The blankifold would be tricky to fight normally; they seemed to like staying low to the ground, with only the edges of their surface touching the quited ground.The blankifold must have seen me coming... even if it didn’t have eyes. It reared up, the cloth behind it bunching into a spring-like fold, then the entire creature shoved itself towards me.I swung Weedbane to meet up. The tip of the scythe poked into the middle of the cloth, then the blade moved through the blankifold as if it wasn’t even there.With a quick side-hop, I moved out of the blankifold’s path, letting it flop onto the ground where I’d been standing. It was cut, but not dead. I guessed that it didn’t really have internal organs, so I’d have to chop it up some more if I wanted to defeat it.Swinging the scythe around, I spun my entire body to put more strength into my next swipe. Weedbane sang as its blade cut the air, and just like that, the blankifold was split in half down the middle.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.Ding! Congratulations, you have chopped up Quilted blankifold, level 10!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Oh, that’s sharp,” I murmured as I stopped my spin.It seemed as though I’d have to fight in quite a different way if I wanted to use Weedbane. My spade just needed me to bonk things with the flat end, or chop them with the sharp bits. Weedbane could only scythe through things along a very close arc. Anything farther away and it was more like a long pickaxe.“Interesting weapon,” the knight said.“Thanks, I think,” I said. “It’s a bit weird.”“Weird isn’t bad,” he said. “Experienced fighters probably won’t know what to think of someone carrying that around.”“They’ll probably just think I’m weird,” I said. I turned as I heard a clanking behind me. The mobile was turning, dragging up the body of the toy knight which was very much broken. The elephant slid into place, then it trumpeted loud and clear from its felt nose.“Watch your footing!” Lieutenant Petalwrought shouted.The elephant reared up, then brought down its plush forepaws with a thundering boom. The quilted land rippled out in a wave from the elephant, staggering some of the others, but I was able to hop up and hug my knees to my chest, letting it pass under me.I landed with a bounce, the plush terrain still wobbling a bit.Glancing back, I saw the lieutenant dart in and chop the elephant apart, foamy clouds of white stuffing flying all over as the elephant’s stitching was chopped up.The mobile creaked again even as the lieutenant backed away.The shooting star descended, and immediately I felt a warmth hit me even as the room grew brighter.The star started to fly in widening circles, faster and faster. That lasted as long as it took for the lieutenant to slap the shooting star out of the air.I didn’t even get to see how it fought, which was a little disappointing.What was next? The sheep?The mobile shifted and a fluffy sheep landed on the ground.I noticed a few of the others fighting off blankifolds, so the perimeter was holding. Lieutenant Petalwrought would have plenty of time to deal with the sheep.I yawned and lowered Weedbane’s pole, leaning against it.“Stay awake, everyone!” Lucille shouted from across the arena. “There’s a sleep-inducing effect at work!”“Really?” I asked. Then I stifled another yawn. It was a strong yawn, the sort that brought tears to your eyes. “Oh, yeah, I guess so.”The sheep was harder for the lieutenant to hit. His two knight companions ended up helping him. Mostly it just hopped around a lot, and when they struck it, any blows against its fluff just bounced right off, with a noise like someone smacking a pillow.Speaking of pillows, I felt like I could really use one.I smacked my cheek a few times, then shook my head until my ears hurt from wiggling around too much. I had to stay awake!Eventually the lieutenant skewered the sheep with a swift strike, and I felt a warmth leaving me. It was as if someone had just gently removed a blanket I was snuggling with. It didn’t snap me back awake, but it did remove that sleepy influence.The mobile moved, stuttered, then jerked down.The last one to defeat, the wizard.That one was scary. It was a magic-user, and the toy wizard was wrapped up in thin, viney tendrils.It raised both of its arms, and I felt mana shifting in the air around it. A spell?Then the Lieutenant stepped up to it and casually lopped its head off, then both arms, then the legs, then he cut the mobile's strings and chopped the body in half before it could hit the ground.Parts of the wizard flopped to the ground.Ding! Congratulations, you have put The Sleeper’s Mobile, level 12, to sleep!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“That was easy,” Amaryllis said.Lieutenant Petalwrough nodded, then began to check his sword for nicks. “The wizard’s the most dangerous of them all, but the easiest to defeat. It doesn’t move and it’s relatively weak. Its spells take a long time to cast as well, but they are deadly. It’s a good lesson for recruits to learn.” He sheathed his sword with a click. “The floor’s done. Is everyone well?”No one was injured. The others had taken out a few blankifolds here and there, but there weren’t that many of them in the room, not compared to the size of our group. I dismissed the exp notifications, and joined the others near the centre. “Where to next?” Aria asked.“That way. The door should be unlocked for us to return to the starting room,” the lieutenant said.Aria nodded, then dropped to one knee next to the wizard. “This one had some roots on it.”“And I noticed that the mobile was functioning a little worse than usual,” the lieutenant said. “The sheep is usually more of a challenge, and the mechanism jammed before the wizard came down.”“I noticed that too,” Aria said. She took a few notes, then fished a small vial from her pack into which she placed a length of the root with some tongs. “That’ll do for now.”As a group, we started towards the far end of the arena. I bounced a bit. Now that the area was safe, I could participate in some good, wholesome bed-jumping. My friends rolled their eyes or giggled (Amaryllis and Awen respectively) but the others in the group didn’t seem to mind at all.Maybe it was because I was a bun? Buns were bouncy. It was just the way they were.“What’s the next floor like?” Aria asked.“We’ll go over it in a moment,” the lieutenant said. “Suffice to say, it won’t be as easy as this one.”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Thirteen — Knightlight
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirteen — Knightlight The room beyond the end of the floor was the same room that we found at the entrance of the dungeon. There was even the dungeon’s exit at one end, just casually waiting for us.There were a few small changes though. The bedroom’s wallpaper now had a small pattern along the bottom that looked like entwined roots. The bed in the corner was undone and messy, and there were more toys scattered across the floor.Otherwise, it was pretty much the same as the room we had entered through. Which was of course impossible unless the dungeon was doing some very silly things with physics.Lieutenant Petalwrought pulled out a small box from a pocket tucked on the inside of his armour. It clinked, glass tapping against glass within the small wooden box.“You’re each going to want to drink one of these,” he said as he undid the clasp holding the box in place and opened it.Within were twin rows of glass vials with cork stoppers. He plucked one out, and turned around to show it to us.“These will keep you awake in the next part of the dungeon. We don't usually allow the use of these, since staying awake through your own will is a good test of a knight’s resolve, but we are not here to test that.”I used Insight on the vial he was holding, just out of curiosity.Potion of Wakefulness, new“May I?” Lucille asked. She pinched the bottle the lieutenant held, brought it close to her eyes, then opened and sniffed near the neck of it. “It should be safe,” she said. “Unless the person who made it is far better at poison-making than I am at detecting them. What are the side-effects, lieutenant?”“Occasionally the potion will work too well,” he said. “You might have a difficult time sleeping tonight. That’s not too unusual. The potion will keep you awake, but it won’t sharpen your senses. You might have an unpleasant evening. Otherwise, I would suggest a more fibrous diet tomorrow.”We each took a vial, then downed them one at a time. There were lots of grimaces going around, and a few grossed-out coughs.“It also tastes exceptionally vile,” Petalwrought remarked as he took his own.I shuddered at the taste. It was like the worst sort of cough medicine, but somehow a hundred times more bitter, and it was sticky on the way down, clinging to my throat and burning a bit. Once it hit my tummy, I felt a wave of wiggly energy sweep through me. I wasn’t sure if I felt more awake or not.Lieutenant Petalwrought closed up his box, still with a couple of vials left, then tucked it away while he spoke. “This next floor is a maze. It isn’t an overly difficult one, most of the time. The path out will be illuminated by small lights affixed near the floor. They are usually spaced apart in such a way that you can always see the next one. It’s the spaces between the lights that is dangerous.”“Can we make our own light?” Amaryllis asked.“Some of this floor's adversaries shy away from light, while others are attracted to it. On the average I would recommend we light our way. There are two monsters in the room. One has never been seen; they attack with long, multi-jointed limbs that are relatively fragile. You can break them easily, but they have a lot of pulling power. They will ambush you in the dark, trying to grab you and drag you away. Their main body will never approach the lights, however.”“Creepy,” I said.“Indeed,” he said. “The other enemy are large... large teddy bears. Wearing a knight’s armour and raiment. They will attack you more honestly and are attracted to any lights within the maze.”“Cute,” I added.The lieutenant chose not to comment. “We’ll be going in with a three-two formation. I’ll be at the head with two knights, our guests in the centre, and the other two knights will take care of the rear. We will be staying very close to each other. Do not stray.”We nodded, then Lucille raised a hand. At the lieutenant’s nod, she asked her question. “Any types of magic or abilities we should avoid?”“Not really, no, though you don’t want to use any abilities that will hamper the other’s visibility too much, or slow the group down,” he said.Bron grunted. “What about them arms in the dark? Any way of knowing they’ll be coming at us?”“They are quiet, though you might hear a scuff or shift before they appear. Generally, the arms will go for members that are separated from the group, or who are on the edges. Any other questions?”“I have one,” Aria said. “Have the roots changed anything? Especially with this floor of the dungeon?”“Good question. I hadn’t thought to mention it, but we’ve noticed some... corruption on the teddy bear knights. As well as roots entwined around the joints of the arms. They behave mostly the same. Perhaps a little more aggressively than before.”“Thank you,” Aria said with a nod. She jotted that down in her book, then stuffed it away.“Any more questions?” he asked.“Ah, um, how long is the maze?” Awen asked.Petalwrought shook his head. “Hard to tell. It’s never the same length twice. We tend to measure them by the number of lights we cross. Usually somewhere between five and twelve.”There didn’t seem to be any other questions after that, so we organised ourselves into the formation we’d be diving into the second floor in. Lieutenant and knights at the front, more at the rear, and my friends and the researchers and others bunched up in the middle.It was pretty cramped, so I folded in Weedbane’s blade, just in case. I could still use it to bonk stuff with the blade folded; it was still a heavy stick with a metal bar in it, after all.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.Petalwrought opened the door we’d use to enter the room. This time, it led into a poorly lit corridor. “If you have magical lights, now’s the time to use them,” he said.Two of the knights summoned little wispy balls of light, then Lucille cast a spell that made her staff glow. Not hard enough that it was difficult to look at, but still bright. She leaned it up onto her shoulder, and it cast a circle of soft light around us.I summoned my own little light ball and held it up next to me while a few of the others did the same.We were a well-lit group as we moved through the narrow corridor, then finally through a wide door at the end of it.The first I saw of the maze was a passageway whose proportions were all off. The ceiling was too high up and the walls too far apart. Wallpaper covered everything but the floor, with dancing teddy bears and knights and fantastical creatures. They were all really big though.The maze stretched out before us, with a few side-passages just barely visible in what little light reached them, and way off in the distance was a circle of light with a glowing device in its middle.“That’s a nightlight,” I said.“Hmm,” was Petalwrought’s reply.The nightlight was shaped like an elephant, and I suspected it was made of something like glass, with an incandescent bulb within. Were those kinds of lights more common than I thought on Dirt?By unspoken agreement, none of us rushed ahead to the nightlight. We walked with careful steps, the only sound filling the dark our footfalls, the clink of the knight’s armours, and our breathing.Slowly, quietly, we crossed the distance with every eye scouring the darkness for motion and danger. My big ears swivelled this way and that as I tried to spot anything before it came at us, but I couldn’t hear anything.And so we arrived at the first nightlight.The knights moved past the light and formed a cordon within the lit area. “Everyone accounted for?” Lieutenant Petalwrought asked. He made a point of counting every head. “Good. Where’s the next light?”“Sir, that way,” one of the knights said. They pointed into the dark. I squinted that way, and could make out a faint light in the distance, it was clearly just some light illuminated a wall, not the nightlight itself. That had to be around a corner, but I couldn’t see where the corridor turned.“Same formation,” the lieutenant said. He shifted things around so that he was back at the front of the formation with two knights by his sides.More darkness, though this time we weren’t moving parallel to the pattern in the carpet. I hadn’t even noticed that it had a design of interlocking squares until we weren’t moving along it.Our lights illuminated corner walls and when we finally arrived at the light the knight had pointed out, it was obvious that it was just an intersection. The nightlight itself was further down.I glanced back at the last light. It was far away from us, and flickering.Was it getting darker?There’d be no retracing our steps if we had to.“This is spooky,” Awen muttered.I nodded. “Yeah,” I whispered back. This didn’t feel like the kind of place made for loud voices and laughter.We started towards the nightlight, then stopped when the lieutenant raised a fist.I aimed my ears at the dark. The hairs on the back of my neck rose as something shifted. The sound was an echo, distant... maybe. Or maybe it was coming from just around the corner and we had no way to know that a corner was even there.“Onwards,” the lieutenant said.We reached the next light with a collective sigh.Safe. For now.The light flickered, barely noticeable with all the lights we held, but still there.“We’re perhaps moving a little too slow,” the lieutenant said. “Next light?”“I see it,” Bron said. “Left a ways, and forwards. Something’s near it, I think. Can’t rightly tell.”The next light was down a long, narrow corridor. The lieutenant went ahead, and since he couldn’t walk with his knights by his sides, they were split up so that they’d be mixed in with the rest of us.The hallway was so narrow I could touch both walls without having to stretch my arms out far. It made the lights we were collecting feel too bright, especially as the wallpaper had a slight reflective quality here.The images were all of plush animals, some of them being held by long hands with too many fingers and joints. Roots clung to some of them, like nooses around their necks.We crossed a few openings as we pushed forward. Long passages into the dark that our lights couldn’t illuminate the whole of.We were nearly at the next nightlight when something crossed before it.There was no missing that the light had dimmed for a moment. It brought all of our attention up and forwards, and onto the large form waddling past the light.The corridor widened, which was probably for the best.The creature pacing next to the nightlight saw us coming with its giant beady eyes. It was a teddy bear, like the lieutenant had said. Bands of iron encircled its big belly, and it had an open helmet squeezed onto its plush head.A long sword was held by its side in a plush hand. It looked as sharp as any sword I’d seen.“Two of us will take it on,” the lieutenant said. “The rest of you pay close attention to the dark. It wouldn’t be beyond a grasper to use the distraction to grab someone.”The lieutenant and one of the knights stepped up.That left the rest of us just outside of the safety of the nightlight’s glow, in the near-dark that seemed harder and harder to ward off.That’s when I started to hear a shuffling, a shuffling that was growing louder by fits and starts.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fourteen — Unbearable Arms
Chapter Three Hundred and Fourteen — Unbearable Arms “Something’s coming,” Bron said. “Somethin’ bigb.” He spun his mace around in a little circle, loosening his arm to strike.The rest of us huddled in a bit closer. It was probably not ideal for a fight. Swords needed room to swing, and magic needed clearlines of fire. But the other option was being further from the others and closer to the dark. Had our little pool of light gotten smaller? It might've been my mind playing tricks on me, but it seemed like our glow wasn't reaching as far.I tried to brighten my lightball, but I don't think it helped.My eyes darted around, and my bun ears swivelled this way and that, searching for the source of the noise. I couldn’t pin-point it at first except to say that it came from my right. Then I heard a faint snap, like someone cracking the joint of their finger. But that was from above.“Above us!” I said. My little lightball shot up into the dark and zipped past something white and skeletal lurking in the abyss.Amaryllis and Lucille fired two spells in the same breath. A fork of lightning followed by a spray of glimmering icicles that chilled the air in their wake.The arm flinched back, a hand big enough to grab me around the waist twisted and writhed as Amaryllis’ magic worked into it, and then the icicles thumped into what little flesh it had.Something screeched, far, far away, and the hand disappeared faster than something that big should have been able to.“Was that the thing in the dark?” I asked.“Looks like it,” Bron said.“Guard up, ladies and gents,” Erin said gruffly. “I’d rather not get caught by that thing.”Aria hummed. “Anyone else notice the roots on it?” she asked.I shook my head. I didn’t see anything like that. Then again, it was only visible for a moment, and then my vision was ruined by Amaryllis’ lightning. I was still blinking back my night vision. Idly, I reformed my lightball in my free hand and held it up.Ahead of us, Lieutenant Petalwrought was finishing up with the big teddy bear knight. The big monster was missing some stuffing already, and looked worse for wear. The knights harried it, one taking to the air, another lunging for the bear’s waist while Petalwrought slashed forwards, meeting the bear’s sword with his own.I winced as the bear was chopped apart. It fell to the ground with a soft thump, and the knights regrouped and eyed the dark around them.The night light chose that moment to flicker.“Reform,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “We need to move out. We don’t have a lot of time to lose.”We caught up with the group, and our formation returned, the knights on the edges and rear, the rest of us in the centre providing what light and help we could. Lieutenant Petalwrought pointed out ahead to another distant light.“We need to move a little faster, make up for lost time,” he said.“What happens if we’re slow?” I asked.“Then the night lights wink out, and you need to find your way out of the maze without them.” He glanced back, and his eyes were hard within his helmet. “We do not want to do that,” he said.“That would have been good to know earlier, sir knight,” Amaryllis muttered.I swallowed and nodded.“Are there any other things we should know?” Amaryllis asked.“There’s a way to avoid fighting the bears. You need to sing a lullaby; it'll put them to sleep,” he said.“Then why didn’t we do that?” I asked.“They’re not a great challenge, and we all need to sing. I don’t know if all of you know lullabies, and singing as a group isn’t an easy task,” he said.We started moving, so I set aside my arguments for the moment. The corridors narrowed again, but we weren’t as far from this night light as we were the last.This one was unguarded, but Lieutenant Petalwrougt didn’t seem amused when we arrived. The light flickered. “We’re still not moving fast enough,” he said. “Let’s work up to a light jog until we reach the next one. We can alternate walking and jogging.”“I see the next one,” Bron said. “Off that’a way.” He pointed to the side, and following his finger I noticed a faint glow in the distance.“Good eye,” the lieutenant said. “Let’s not dilly-dally. If you find yourself unable to keep up, speak up. We won’t go faster than our slowest. We can redistribute packs.”Again, we took off. The distant light wasn’t the night light, not directly. As we jogged closer it became clear that the light was around a corner. There was a small staircase, tight enough that we had to step up two-by-two, then the floor widened, and kept widening until I couldn't see any walls except for one way out in the distance, with the nightlight on it.We started jogging over to the light, but of course we didn’t all jog at the same speed. Our formation thinned out a little in the centre, though we were still well within each other’s lights, and the knights kept their circle around us the entire time.I was glad that I’d spent the last month and a bit being so active. Before coming to Dirt, if I'd tried to run this much, I think I would've collapsed.Still, I was looking forward to the next night light, for the small pause it would bring. I was more looking forward to being off this floor. The maze was scary in the same way that the long shadows lurking under your bed were scary. Worse, even. These shadows had actual hands that wanted to reach out and-Aria screamed. Just a short wail that was cut off with an omph.Spinning, I looked for the scientist, but she wasn’t where she had been before.The formation stopped, but at different speeds, so for a moment we ended up being spread even further apart.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.“That way!” one of the knights said.He rushed out into the dark, sword bursting to light with a brilliant glow.I bounded after him. “Amy, keep everyone safe!” I called over my shoulder. Not including Awen was probably rude, but I was already a dozen bun hops away and had to focus on moving.More mana went into my lightball, creating a greater circle around me.There was shouting from behind, but I focused my hearing forwards, towards the knight, and towards the sound of bone scraping on floor.The knight grew closer to Aria, and I saw the glow of his sword illuminate the struggling woman. One of the hands had grabbed her, a thick finger grasping around her neck, the others around her middle. Sylph were smaller than humans, likely lighter too. They’d be easier to drag away.The knight grabbed Aria by the hand, and his added weight slowed them down. Then he started to hack at the hand with his glowing sword.I rushed past them.Weedbane opened with a dangerous snick and I pushed mana into it until the scythe glowed an eerie white.My slash passed through the boney arm holding Aria with the same difficulty it would have cutting through a single blade of autumn grass.Another distant screech, from far, far away in the dark."Oh, oh," Area gasped, eyes wild and movements frantic, "oh, that — that was — that was awful." She flung the hand off of her, though it looked like a few fingers had been hacked off already.“We need to get back, now,” the knight said. “They might try to grab all three of us next.”“Okay,” I said. I tossed Weedbane to the knight, who caught it mid-shaft out of reflex, then I scooped Aria up, careful not to squish her wings. “Come on! We can still see the night light!”We shot off, the knight easily keeping up with my sprint, despite his armour and the added weight of my scythe.“Y-you can put me down,” Aria said between bounces.“I will,” I promised. “Just as soon as we’re back with all the others.” It wouldn’t do to put her on the ground now when we were still in the open and one of those creepy hands could swoop back in to grab her. “How did it grab you?” I asked.“I don’t know,” she said. “I was keeping up with the others, but I’m not used to running quite so much. I wasn’t looking up, actually. Then it was around me and... and pulling me away.”I tsked. “How rude! I’m glad you’re safe.”We met up with our friends before reaching the night light. They must have seen us heading to the night light. Somehow, it was hard to see them until we were almost upon them, even with all the lights hovering above and around the group. A quick headcount showed that everyone was there.“How is she?” Lieutenant Petalwrought asked.“I’m fine,” Aria said, voice only wavering a bit.“Good. Captain Bunch, can you carry her to the next light? We’ll regroup there. Come on, everyone, double time it. No spreading out!”We ran to the next light and arrived just as it started to flicker a little. Only twice, but the second time it turned off it stayed off for a full second. It felt like a very long second.I set Aria down on her feet, then brushed off her clothes, putting a bit of Cleaning magic into it to remove the dust and scuffs she got from being dragged. “There, nice and safe,” I said.“Thank you,” she said. Then she fetched her notebook out with a huff and started to scribble something in the quick sloppy handwriting so common to doctors and scientists.“Let’s tighten our formation,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “We don’t want to lose anyone else who happens to be on the edge. Knights, I expect you to pay more attention, please. Though this failing is my own.”That was nice of him to say, taking the worry off his subordinates’ shoulders like that. We spotted the next night light a bit further out. It was much closer than the last had been, but it was flickering already.“I know I said we would walk to the next, but I can’t help but feel as though the lights are deteriorating faster than usual,” the lieutenant said.“Then we’ll move faster than usual too,” Lucille replied.We set off at a fast jog for a minute, then the lieutenant raised a fist and we slowed to a brisk walk. It allowed those of us in worse shape to catch their breaths. As soon as the next minute was over, the lieutenant waved ahead, and we started jogging once more.The on-off cycle continued until we were close enough to the next light to see that it wasn’t unguarded. Two bears, both of them a bit to the right of the light itself. One looked like it was covered in roots, the big vines wrapped around its arms and armour, making it hard for it to move at all.“I see the next light already,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. He pointed to two of the knights. “You, and you, peel off, distract. The rest of us will run straight by. Rejoin the tail and send the rear-guard forward.”The plan went off without a hitch. The two knights waylaid the bears while we ran by, directly toward the next night light. Then the knights disengaged from the bears and caught up with us in a matter of seconds. Our formation reformed with two fresh knights at the front, and the two unharmed bears gave up on their chase as soon as we were out of the range of the lights.“There it is!” Bron said. “I see it, there’s a door thataway!”Next to the night light was, indeed, a doorway. Our pace quickened without anyone having to say anything, and even those of us struggling from the run found a second wind.I kept expecting an ambush, arms reaching out to grab us at the very end, but nothing of the sort happened.“Well done, everyone,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said as we reached the last light and the door. “Now let’s get off the World-forsaken floor.”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Fifteen — Childish Fears Grow Up to become Adult Fears
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifteen — Childish Fears Grow Up to become Adult Fears This was our third time in the bedroom that linked the entire dungeon together. I was growing used to the room, I guessed, though it had changed again.The bed wasn’t just undone, it was missing its blankets and sheets, and the mattress was stained and gross. The walls too. Water damage made the pretty wallpaper peel in places and rot in others. Mould was sneaking up along the floor and the entire room smelled damp and unclean.I couldn’t resist letting some Cleaning magic leak out. It spread across the room and brushed aside some of the worse stains and cleaned out the mould. I didn’t want anyone getting a cough while we were down here, and the room smelled much nicer after a minute or so.We caught our breaths after the long run on the last floor. Aria slumped to the ground and splayed her hands out behind her and Lucille leaned against one of the walls. Even my friends looked a bit winded, though we were recovering quickly enough.Lieutenant Petalwrought cleared his throat. “The next room shouldn’t be as difficult,” he said. “Does anyone have a timepiece?”Bron did. He pulled it out and tossed it to the lieutenant who caught the device out of the air.“We’ve been in the dungeon for just over an hour. I think we’re due a small pause. We have some supplies, if anyone needs to eat. Don’t forget to drink as well.”“I’d love some tea,” Lucille muttered.“Ah, I can help with that,” I said. I could be helpful! I plopped my pack down and pulled out my tea set. It was a necessary part of my adventuring kit, after all. I prepared some tea for everyone, though I only took a tiny cup for myself. There weren’t any bathrooms in dungeons, and while it was an easy walk back up to the surface, I didn’t feel like challenging that maze room again.Once everyone was relaxed and sipping at warm tea or lukewarm water, the lieutenant straightened his back and cleared his throat for attention. “Two floors remain before we meet the dungeon’s boss. This next one is perhaps the easiest floor in the dungeon, at least for some. It’s generally a combat-free floor, just a challenge to test your bravery, and so far you all seem more than brave enough to pass this trial.”I puffed out my chest, even if the compliment was a bit silly. I wasn’t that brave, I just wasn't afraid of much.“What’s the challenge on this floor?” Lucille asked.“Not another maze, I hope,” Erin muttered.The lieutenant chuckled. “Nothing so complicated. It’s a series of rooms, each with a bed and some sleeping amenities. To get to the other side, you need only crawl under the bed. Eventually you’ll find yourself in a corridor, though the dimensions are never the same. That’s where you’ll encounter your greatest fear.”“Our greatest fear?” Awen asked.The lieutenant nodded. “I have only heard of a few who have been injured on the floor, at least physically. The fear will be illusions and light and sound. Not real. Just keep pushing forward. Ignore the fear or face it, as you wish. Once you’ve crossed the corridor, you’ll come upon a doorway into a hallway; that is where we’ll all gather before returning to this room.”“Can more than one person go under the same bed?” I asked.He shook his head. “No, it’s one at a time. There are multiple rooms, so we’ll all have a bed to crawl under. Fears rarely change, so I know that the knights and I will be facing the same challenges as we have before. The first time is unpleasant, but always remember that it is only an illusion. It will not actually hurt you.”“You’ve already said that some people were injured,” Amaryllis pointed out.Lieutenant Petalwrought nodded. “Yes. Usually by their own magic. On occasion a recruit has tripped over their own sword.”One of the knights jokingly elbowed the other. I couldn’t see the face of the poked knight, but I could feel the embarrassed glare directed to his companion.“You won’t be injured by the challenge itself. Scared, perhaps, but not injured. I promise.”There wasn’t much else to do once we were done drinking. I refused the offer of crackers from Bron (they looked way too dry) and then I repacked my tea set, nodding to Lucille’s muttered thanks.We didn’t form up as we continued into the next room. Lieutenant Petalwrought stayed at the front, but he said that we didn’t need to worry about any adversaries in this next part of the dungeon. Still, it was clear that he was checking his corners and watching for trouble anyway. He was nothing if not diligent.Awen slid up next to me as we squeezed into the next floor. “Broccoli,” she asked in a low voice that wouldn’t carry.“Yeah?” I asked.“Can... can I get a hug before we split up? I... I don’t know what my fears are, but I think it would be easier to face them, ah, with a hug?”I grinned and bumped my shoulder against hers. “Always,” I said. “You too, Amaryllis.”Amaryllis was just behind us. She scoffed. “As if I need such things. Though I imagine that I would be wasting my time if I insisted otherwise instead of just humouring you.”“That’s right,” I agreed.The first room was... a room. A little space with a desk, a shelf with some knick-knacks, and a bed.One of the knights was picked to go first, to show us how it went. The bed wasn’t all that big, but he squeezed his pack through the opening, then dropped onto his tummy and shimmied through.The room had a door that led into another bedroom, this one much bigger, with a bed fit for two in the middle. “Any volunteers?” the lieutenant asked. “I’ll be going last.”“Might as well,” Bron said. He dropped, then rolled under the bed. When I leaned down to see under it, he was gone, and I could see clear out to the other side. Was there a trapdoor or something?Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.We continued into the next room, and this time, when the lieutenant asked for volunteers, Awen was the one to step up. “Awa! I’m going to go next, please. Just... want to get it over with.”“Fair enough,” he said.Awen turned towards me, and I pulled her into the best hug I could manage. “You’ll be fine,” I said. “Remember, no matter what you see, no matter what scares you, Broccoli Bunch will be there for you on the other side, okay?”Awen nodded. “Thanks,” she said with a return squeeze.She snuck under the bed, and was gone soon after.We crossed two more rooms, losing as many members along the way, one of them a knight, before we came upon a bedroom fit for a princess. “Well, this one seems good enough for me,” Amaryllis said.I grinned, and shared a hug with her too.Under the bed she went, with a lot of grumbling along the way about the indignity of it all.I waited until I couldn’t hear her anymore, then checked under the bed. No Amaryllis.“She’ll be fine,” Aria said. “I’m sure all of your friends are as brave as you are. There’s nothing to worry about.”I smiled back at her. “Thanks,” I said.The next room saw Lucille squeezing under a rather fine bed in a humble little room. She didn’t want hugs.And then we came upon a teeny tiny bedroom, one small enough that it was tough for everyone to squeeze in. “Ah, one of these,” the lieutenant said. He was glaring down at the bed.It was a children’s bed, all nice and neat and covered in colourful bedspread. “What’s wrong with this one?” I asked.“Not much room under the bed. It’s hard to squeeze in, even for a sylph.”I shrugged. “I’ll go this time,” I said. I was sure I could pass through. “But, ah, can someone take my scythe? He’s a bit big.”Erin volunteered to hold my scythe for me, with a promise to give it back as soon as we met again.I dropped to my knees, took off my pack, which was fortunately squishable enough to fit into the space, then I crawled in on elbows and knees. It really was a tight fit. As I pushed in, I had to exhale hard to make space for my chest to fit, and even then it was rather uncomfortable.I was regretting picking this bed when I finally scooted forwards a little and found myself no longer under the bed.With a bit of a wiggle, I pulled myself out of the tight space, then tugged my pack out while I eyed my surroundings. It was a great empty space, dark, with deep, branching silhouettes nearly blocking out a faint pale blue light coming from somewhere ahead I couldn't see.I created another light ball, then raised it high so that I could see better.The room was filled with roots.They crissed and crossed from every direction, big brown ones as large as trees and some no bigger than my pinkie. I poked one of the roots with my foot. It thunked. So they weren’t just illusions, then.I shouldered my pack and started to look for a way through the maze of roots. I didn’t find a way to walk through it, but I did find a way to slip between the bigger roots.Was this my greatest fear? A room choked by Evil Roots? It was more annoying than scary, honestly.I rolled through a hole and flopped onto the ground on the other side of the roots, then paused as I heard someone groaning above.It was Amaryllis, and she was nearly stuck trying to squeeze her way through the roots. I tried not to giggle at the look on her face, and that had her glancing up and finding me in the dark. “Well, will you help me or just stand there gawking?” she grumped.I laughed and climbed up to help her down. She was quite stuck, actually, but we managed to wiggle her through. Mostly that meant me putting some weight on one of the roots so that it moved aside and made enough room for her to pass.“Are you okay?” I asked. I patted her back free of dust.She sighed. “I’m fine. I didn’t think we could rejoin each other in here. The lieutenant didn’t say anything about it.”“He didn’t,” I agreed.Amaryllis’ eyes narrowed. “Are you the real Broccoli, then?”I shrugged. “I know I am, but then I don’t know if you’re the real Amaryllis. The Lieutenant also said that the illusions in here couldn’t hurt us. Uh, I know you’re physical though.”“Corporeal, the word you’re looking for is corporeal.”I grinned. Whether or not it was the real Amaryllis didn’t matter, I figured. I’d treat her as a friend, and that was that.“Come on, there’s a weird light that way. I bet that’s the exit.”“Yes, you would run towards the first shiny thing you see,” Amaryllis grumbled.I laughed, the sound lightening my heart in the face of the darkness and the roots. I gave her a hand to slip through two of the bigger roots.“Broccoli,” she said once she was on the other side. “Come here, please.” There was a strange, worrisome note in her voice. I hurried to push through, and when I did, I found myself confused.We were on a hillside? There were still roots all around us, and it was mostly dark, but only on the edges.In the centre was a ravine, with a slope before us and one just a little ways away. The image, the illusion, faded on the edges. It still felt familiar, somehow.Then a group of cervid materialised from thin air on the far end, and with them an Amaryllis that was trussed up and tied.“Oh.” It was the only sound Amaryllis made.Was this... was this that time she was kidnapped? When I rescued her? Wait, was this her greatest fear, rather than mine?“It’ll be okay,” I said as the scene continued. “I’m here, you’re fine.”“I know,” she said. “But still.”We probably shouldn’t have stopped to watch, but neither of us moved, not even as a smaller, bunny-ear-less Broccoli showed up, looking... looking like a much younger, less confident me, one who desperately wanted to save the only sorta-friend she had made so far.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Sixteen — Past Tense
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixteen — Past Tense Amaryllis and I didn’t move.The Broccoli illusion planted herself on one side. The cervid mercenaries on the other.I knew what would happen. This was all a vivid memory, still. We’d... or the illusion of me, would talk. The cervid wouldn’t be completely unhelpful.Amaryllis, the illusion across the rivulet, glared at her captors, then she spared the illusion Broccoli a softer look. Almost as if thanking her for being there.This was the moment where Amaryllis really became my friend. Before this, we... well, we weren’t getting along that well. I had been trying hard to convince her to be friends, but maybe I was trying too hard. I had been desperate for friends back then. A new world, a system I didn’t understand, magic that was strange and bizarre and wonderful.Then, just as we were starting to become closer, Amaryllis was kidnapped.I had already decided that she was a friend, I think.The illusion-Broccoli argued with the cervid mercenaries, and it got pretty heated. She looked defeated-even sad, in her oversized beige gambeson and tipped-back helmet.The old me whistled, and Throat Ripper landed atop the hill next to Broccoli. He was as big as I remembered, all bones and armour. Even now, as strong as I’d become compared to all those months ago, I didn’t think I could fight him on an even playing field.A small army of skeletons followed, the illusions forming out of swirling light to stand atop the hill beside illusion-Broccoli. The cervid across from them looked nervous now.The back and forth continued.I remembered what would happen.The cervid would toss out a smoke bomb, to distract and blind illusion-me. Then I’d wash it away with Cleaning magic. The cervid would decide that it wasn’t worth fighting, and they’d toss Amaryllis down. Then they’d leave and I would get to reunite with Amaryllis. I think that’s the moment that really solidified everything for us.The smoke appeared as the cervid leader said something that I couldn’t hear, then it was cleared and-My breath caught in my throat, and I heard Amaryllis gasp.In reality, in my very vivid memories, Amaryllis had been tossed down to roll into the creek.In this illusion, her head was wrenched at an impossible angle; her snapped neck deformed around displaced bone, and the leader kicked her down the hill. She rolled, stopping halfway down in a tangle of loose legs and wings. Her eyes stared across the hill, confused, unblinking.“No,” I whispered, hands jumping over my mouth.The illusion faded, first at the edges, breaking apart like sand caught in an unfelt wind, then working towards the centre until all that was left was... was Amaryllis’ corpse.“No no,” I whispered. That... that was... but it hadn’t happened, it wasn't real, it was... was it Amaryllis’ fear?I turned to my friend, expecting to see her as shocked as I felt.Instead, she was furious.“Typical,” she spat.“What?” I asked.Amaryllis’ talons balled up, and she glared at the fading illusion, then at me. “I said typical. That’s probably what should have happened back there, isn’t it?”“No, it isn’t what happened at all,” I said. “It’s okay, Amaryllis, it never happened, you’re fine, we’re both fine.” I reached out to hug her.She stepped back, out of hugging range. “It’s not what happened, but it’s probably what will, isn’t it? Broccoli Bunch, always charging headlong into trouble. Like I said. Typical.”“What?” I asked again.Amaryllis brushed me off. “I’ve seen enough of this. I’ll make it back on my own.”“Amaryllis?” I asked. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? It’s okay to be scared.”“I’m not scared, you idiot. I’ve just realized that your stupidity will be the literal death of me.” She turned, and the emotions in her eyes were conflicted. Anger, but sadness too. “I’ll figure out how to get out of here on my own. I don’t need you, nor do I want you.”I stood there, frozen and confused for a few long seconds.“No!” I said “No, it’s not like that.” I didn’t know what it was even like, but, but things were confusing and weird and... and she was gone.Had I stood around for too long?I couldn’t even hear where she went. All I found around me was darkness and roots, and the faint light ahead that hopefully showed me where the exit was.I swallowed, then carefully wrapped my arms around my middle. It helped with the shaking.Once I felt a little more calm, I gathered up my determination and pushed forwards. Amaryllis... needed help. Probably. Maybe seeing that had scared her a lot more than it had scared me, and being afraid alone was a thousand times worse than being afraid with someone next to you.The wall of roots didn’t make pushing forwards easy. I had to crawl over and under them, sometimes taking my pack off to be able to squeeze through the few gaps I found.It was after flopping out of one of those and landing tail-first on the other side that I discovered that I wasn’t alone.A dishevelled Awen was standing nearby, eyes wide and teary until she saw me. “Awa? B-Broccoli?” she asked.“Awen?” I bounced to my feet, then looked around. Another wide clearing in the roots. The light ahead was much closer now too. Just a bit more. “Are you okay?” I asked.She nodded, then swallowed. Her arms rose, and I gladly gave her a hug. I needed it too, I think. “I was scared. I saw things and... yeah,” she said.“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m here.”The hug ended too soon. Awen felt strangely cold. She must have been really spooked.“Awa, I thought that...” she started, then stopped.A mist was filling the room again, transforming it into a whole new scene.It was a nice room, well appointed and richly decorated. I noted a piano in a corner, some bookshelves with hardcovers and a window overlooking a pretty courtyard. Then chairs and sofas formed, and I recognized the place.This was in Mattergrove, in Awen’s home.The people in the seats were easy to recognize too. Amaryllis, Abraham and his friend, even Awen and her parents and brothers.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“This is when we met,” I said.Awen nodded, but she continued to look at the scene.Things happened as I remembered them. We talked a bit, there were introductions, and then I gifted Awen my old wand. She flushed and looked happy, and I thought the scene might not be so bad.Then Amaryllis and my illusion left, walking in place while the scene flowed past them. The illusions talked for a moment, with just a few gestures. I didn’t look so different than I did now, I don’t think. The ears and tail were conspicuously missing, though.Then illusory Awen came around and we greeted her again.This was the part where we went off. The part where I basically kinda-sorta kidnapped Awen.Instead, the illusion-Awen shook her head, teared up, and ran back up the staircase.Illusion-Broccoli glanced at illusion-Amaryllis. They shared a shrug, then headed out.“No,” I said. “That’s not how it happened at all. I’m really not liking the illusions in this place.”“M-maybe that’s how it should have worked out though,” Awen said.I spun towards her. “What do you mean?”She didn’t meet my eyes. “This life we lead, it’s dangerous Broccoli. So dangerous. I was kidnapped by pirates! I nearly died in the Insmouth dungeon! Those bombs the other day, a twitch and I’d be dead. I... I would be safer back home. Maybe I should never have followed you.”“I... no, you’re my friend, my best friend, I love having you on our adventures.”“Awa! You do, but they’re not for me, Broccoli. Don’t you understand?”My breath caught, and I felt something nasty in my chest, as if a fist were gripping my heart. “But...”“I’ll see you later, Broccoli,” Awen said. She moved on towards the light. “I think I need to think.”I watched her go, then shook my head and ran after her. “Wait!”She jumped over a root, slipped past another, and then... and then was gone.I stopped, feet heavy as my heart.Leaning back against one of the roots, I paused to catch my breath and steady my pulse. I had to blink a lot.Was I a bad friend?I pushed forwards, because I didn’t know what else to do.The roots proved as much of a challenge now as they did earlier. That meant I had to squeeze through even more of them. How had Awen and Amaryllis left so quickly? Or was the floor making it easier for them than for me?I winced as my hips got stuck between two roots. Had I been eating too well while in the capital?With a wiggle, I managed to squeak past, though I’d need to take a moment to fix the fur of my tail.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Proportion Distortion skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs one (1) Class PointI stared at the prompt, then smiled a little.“Thanks, Mister Menu,” I said. “It’s nice of you to try and distract me.”The light got brighter, and between one root and the next, I found myself in front of a door in a recess that had glowing walls around it. The door was simple and plain, but still really inviting. I stumbled over to it, then opened it up.There was a hallway beyond, wide and plain, with doors set about a metre apart. It reminded me a little of a motel corridor.People were milling about aimlessly in the corridor. Aria, Erin, some of the knights... my friends.I swallowed thickly and moved over to them trying not to drag my feet. Awen looked a little shaken, and Amaryllis was standing with her back real straight and a frown on her face.“Uh, hey guys,” I said.Awen turned towards me, then crashed into my chest. “Broccoli,” she said, though it was muffled.I returned the hug. She felt much warmer.“Hey, I’m sorry,” I said. “You too, Amaryllis, I’m really sorry.”“What are you on about?” Amaryllis asked."I ... I'm sorry I brought you with me! And that you've been through so much danger and pain and fear! And for all the kidnappings! And the times you nearly died! And ... and ..." I couldn't go on, I felt tears bubbling up.She looked confused. "What are you talking about?"I sniffled. "H-huh?""Where is all this coming from?""We ... we talked. About ... all the danger I've dragged you into."“No, we didn't?”I blinked, still hugging Awen, but now also very confused. “So we didn’t meet in the room with all the roots?”“Oh, there were plenty of roots in there, but no Broccolis,” Amaryllis said.Awen sniffed. “You were in mine.”“Oh,” I said.“You died.”“Uh.” I blinked again. “Pretty sure I didn’t.”Amaryllis sniffed. “Obviously whomever you saw in there with my likeness wasn’t me.”“So you’re still my friend?” I asked. “You’re not angry at me?”“I’m angry that you’d think so little of me that I’d abandon our friendship,” Amaryllis said.I grinned. “Does that mean you’ll give me a hug?”She rolled her eyes, then gave me a hug, and everything was okay and nice and warm. Awen giggled after a bit, then I joined in too, because laughing made the scary less scary.Eventually the hug broke, and my friends both looked better. I probably did too. Awen wiped her face clean, and Amaryllis’ shoulders slumped a bit. I glanced around, and saw that just about everyone was back. The lieutenant was missing, but he said he would be the last to go, so that was probably nothing to worry about.“Hey, girls?” I asked. “I think we should talk to the others.”“What about?” Amaryllis asked.I shrugged. “Just, you know, stuff. Maybe to distract them? Some don’t look like they had it easy in that last room.” The knights all looked pretty okay. I guess that they had all been through the room before, so they knew what to expect. Arin looked alright, and Lucille stumbled out of a room looking more angry than afraid.Erin though, looked a bit shaky, and Bron was still missing, as was one of the knights. Just saying hi and maybe giving them a quick hug might make things better. Amaryllis nodded, and Awen did too.“Hey everyone,” I said, loud enough that they all could hear. “I’m making tea again, anyone want some?”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Seventeen — Counting Sheep
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventeen — Counting Sheep “Is everyone well?” Lieutenant Petalwrought asked.He was the last to arrive in the hallway that connected all of the corridors together. Still, despite that, he didn’t look ruffled or bothered at all. He just went around and checked on everyone, then stood by the door at the end of the hall with his back straight and his eyes hard.“That floor can be quite the challenge for some. I’m glad to see that everyone is still on their feet and that the floor didn’t break any of us. I’m impressed. We will take a moment to relax again before moving on to the next floor.”“What’s on the next floor?” Lucille asked.Lieutenant Petalwrought crossed his arms. “The fourth floor is challenging. We will be fighting wave after wave of sheep.”“Cute fuzzy fluffball sheep?” I asked.The lieutenant blinked. “No, demon sheep.”“Cute fuzzy fluffball demon sheep?” I hopedThe lieutenant ignored me. “Their main attacks are straight-forward charges and magical bleats.”“Magical bleats?” Lucille asked.“The magic takes on two forms. One of them is a magical blast that imparts physical force. Think of it as similar to an air-blast spell. They can knock you off your feet, though they are not exceptionally powerful. They will try to trample you if you’re prone. The second aspect of their magical attacks is that they will put you to sleep.”“Will the potions we took negate that?” Amaryllis asked.“To a great extent, yes,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “Though the potion isn’t perfect, and enough concentrated magic can knock you out all the same. Less-focused attacks will still distract and weaken you.”“How do we fight them?” Erin asked.“They’ll be coming in waves over a fence-like barricade. Once we’ve defeated enough, the fence falls and we can move on to the next area. Usually there are three fences, but there can be more. I believe that the number depends on the number of participants and their respective levels, though we never quite pinned down the exact pattern.”So, we’d have to fight some sheep, then we would move on to the final floor. That seemed easy enough.“As for the method. The knights and I will form the front line. The sheep will always come from the same direction. If you can provide ranged support without harming any of us, then I’d encourage you to do so. The sheep’s faces and legs are their weak points. Their bodies are covered in a thick layer of wool padding that makes it difficult to cut them. A sufficiently sharp stabbing or piercing attack can push through their armour. Their horns are also quite tough. They can parry some attacks with them.”The others asked a few more questions, and eventually we settled on a formation that we’d take once we were on the fourth floor. Petalwrought even had us stand in that formation while in the hallway. Him at the front and centre, a pair of knights on either side, and finally the rest of us behind.Awen was going to use her crossbow, Amaryllis her magic, and the rest of us would help with what ranged magic we could manage.Erin and Bron both volunteered to be at the back, where they could run in and counter any sheep that made it past the knights.I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to help much. Cleaning magic wasn’t going to counter a charging sheep. I had fireballs though, and I imagined those would be pretty effective if I could set their wool on fire.“All right,” the lieutenant said. “Let’s move out. We don’t want to let the potions wear off too much.”The bedroom that connected every floor together was as I remembered, though again it was in worse shape. The water stains on the walls before had darkened, and the floor and bedding was mouldy and starting to rot. Something dark was dripping from a crack in the ceiling.A putrid stench hung in the air, thick enough that I instinctively flared my cleaning aura. It helped a little, but it seemed to keep manifesting, like it was enforced by the room itself.We didn’t linger there for long though. The lieutenant stood by the door to the next floor, then did a quick check of his equipment. The other knights did the same. One had given me back Weedbane, back in the hallway, so I checked the scythe’s staff and blade for any nicks. Then I shifted my pack to make sure it was on snug and then helped Amaryllis with hers.“Everyone ready?” Petalwrought asked.There were nods and “yes sirs” all around.He opened the door and we filed out after him.The floor was like a long tunnel. Big cliffs stood on either side, made of jaggedy rocks that towered above. The sky wasn’t a sky at all, but looked more like a painted ceiling, with little glow-in-the-dark stars placed between fluffy night-darkened clouds. The stars glowed enough to see — it wasn't bright, though, so a few of us sent out our magical lights again.“There’s the first fence,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said.The fence was... a fence. Some wooden boards held up together to form a wall that was just a bit shorter than I was from toe to eartip. We couldn’t see past it, not with the way the boards were pressed in. It looked like an ordinary fence, though there were stars and suns and moons painted on it to make it a bit livelier.“Roots,” Aria said.I followed her gaze to the base of the fence. She was right, there were roots poking in between the boards.“The last few times we ran the dungeon with the roots in it, they didn’t seem to change much,” Petalwrought said.A rumble sounded from across the gate, like a small stampede of horses clopping through muddy ground.The knights spread out in a wall before us, shields up, swords ready. The rest of us ran to our spots. I had a place in the middle, not too far behind the lieutenant, with both of my friends by my sides and then Aria and Lucille on their side.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.The fence shook as a hooved foot clacked atop it, and then a sheep was jumping over the fence. Another followed a split second later, then another.I was expecting a little sheep. Sure, the lieutenant had said demon sheep, but in my mind they would be waist-high fluffballs with widdle horns.These things were nearly as tall as the sylph before us, with huge curved horns that swept around their heads and came to a point next to their faces. Glowing red eyes locked onto us, and the front row of sheep bleated.I gasped as a burst of air slapped me back a step while a loud baa sounded in my ears like someone blowing on an airhorn.Then the world went woozy for a moment and I felt my eyes growing heavy. I almost fell to one knee, but the act of falling snapped me awake and I regained my balance. I pushed some Cleaning magic around my body. It helped, I think.Right! I was supposed to be helping!I concentrated and formed a brace of fireballs. The knights met the sheep’s charge and it broke against them, sheep snarling and bleating as the mass tried to press forward. “Range!” Petalwrought shouted.With a flick of my arm, I cast my fireballs towards the sheep.Lightning and a fiery whip cracked through the air from Amaryllis and Lucille, and I heard Awen's crossbow twang.The sheep bleated again as the magic and projectiles hit them. Fur caught fire and the sheep were pushed back and off the knight’s shields.It was enough for the knights to mount a counterattack.“Keep firing!” the lieutenant ordered while his sword hacked and slashed at the sheep before him.They were tough. Their woolly covering bounced off a few attacks, and I noticed that there were large roots tangled into the wool. It made it even harder for attacks to get through.Finally, the first of the sheep went down. That freed up a knight who immediately ran to help one of his comrades. With more attacks suddenly turned onto the other sheep, they quickly fell, each disappearing as a mist of whitish fog as they lay on the ground.“Well done,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said as the last of the sheep died.We all got a nice little dose of experience points (the sheep were level twelve!) but my attention was more on what had landed on the grassy ground where the sheeps faded. “What’s that?” I asked.“Ah, loot,” the lieutenant said. He picked up a bundle of what looked like... yarn? “You can make some excellent clothes from this. It’s spun already, and from what I’ve been told, of superlative quality.”“Does your order make clothes?” Amaryllis asked.“We’ve had a member or two who can, over the years, but no, for the most part we sell these off to raise funds. The drops aren’t so common that they’re worth farming. Mostly they serve as a nice reward.”“Can I keep that sample?” Aria asked. “For science, of course.”The lieutenant shrugged and tossed her the bundle. “Any injuries?”Once everyone confirmed that they were fine, we moved towards the fence as a group. A strong kick from Petalwrought was enough to knock the entire thing over with a loud whump.The other side of the fence was the same as this side. Was the grass a little greener? I checked back and forth. I couldn’t tell, but maybe? It was certainly closer to our goal.“Same formation,” the lieutenant said. “The number of sheep usually increases with each fence. If we started at five, then it’s possible we’ll have too many to hold back at the front.”“What do we do then?” I asked.“Mister Talldance, Mister Winterhand, if you would be so kind as to watch the flanks?” the lieutenant asked Erin and Bron. They both nodded and stepped up to the sides, weapons at the ready.As soon as we crossed the middle of the open space, the thumping of hooves sounded again. Sheep sailed over the fence, landed heavily on this side, then charged right at us.They were met with steel and magic.Sweat started to slide down my brow as I focused on flinging as many fireballs ahead as I could. They weren’t doing much, individually, but with a large number of them I was at least shaving the wool off of one sheep’s side.This group went down like the last. First one fell, then that dominoed into the entire group collapsing.“Check your health and mana,” the lieutenant said. He was just a little sweaty too, I think. Hard to tell with his helmet on. “If you’re low in health, we have some ointments and potions. We broke out the good stock for this mission. If you’re low in mana or stamina, we can pause for a moment before pushing forward.”Mana 85/145My mana tended to go up by a bit more than one a minute, I think. It wasn’t exact. “I’m still good for another fence, I think,” I said.“Likewise,” Amaryllis said. “But time saved now might repay later, especially if the challenge will grow fiercer as we continue.”“Two minutes to rest, then,” the lieutenant said.That wasn’t much at all, but it would have to do, I supposed.I stretched and resisted the urge to use just a little bit of Cleaning magic on myself. I could go a few minutes without wiping off my sweat. I wondered if I was growing to have a phobia of dirtiness? Would I still hug a friend if they were stinky?I looked at Amaryllis with narrowed eyes until she turned to stare at me. “What?”“Nothing,” I said.“Alright everyone,” the lieutenant said. “Let’s keep moving. We’re almost to the end.”We stepped up to the fence and kicked it down.It was supposed to be clear on the other side, at least until the next wave of sheep came after us.Instead, there was an abomination waiting. It looked at us with six baleful eyes, then, after taking in a deep breath, it blasted out a warbling scream."BAAAAA!!"
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighteen — Sheepish
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighteen — Sheepish The monster’s first mouth stayed open, revealing rows of teeth far too sharp for any sheep. It’s bleat continued, pushing a wash of too-warm air past our group. All along its sides were some roots wrapped around its wool. Some were loose, and they wiggled with the bleating.I shielded my eyes from its breath, then coughed as I took a whiff of it.These demon sheep didn’t brush their teeth often enough.I pushed a surge of Cleaning magic ahead, forming a shield against the stench. It was a little difficult. The bleat was making me tired, I think.Then the demon sheep’s second mouth opened wide and it bleated. “BAA!”The third mouth opened a moment later and joined in the scream with a powerful bleat of its own.Soon, the three “baas” harmonised, becoming a single loud tone that was impossible to ignore. The blast of air grew stronger, and I felt my shield of Cleaning magic straining.“Hit them!” The lieutenant ordered.I blinked. It was hard to keep my eyes open. Hit them? Hit who?My hand lowered, and I felt my Cleaning shield start to fizzle out on the edges. It stank again... but I didn’t see why it mattered.I brought my hand up to cover a yawn, then let it drop.Everything was so heavy.Maybe we could retreat a little? I didn’t like fighting anyway.A loud snap-crack sounded and I felt the hairs on my arms rising as Amaryllis let loose with a powerful blast of lightning. The air burned and the stink from the sheep’s breath was replaced by the stench of burning wool and seared flesh.The bleats grew stronger, but took on a pained tone.The world went black, like shutters closing across my sight.Oh ... those were my eyelids. I was ... supposed to keep them open, right?Thunder sounded again.I got an eye open, and saw Lucille tossed a fireball ahead, but it was slow and weak, entirely unlike her previous attacks. And I saw Awen raise her crossbow from the corner of my eye. She was swaying, almost drunkenly, but for a moment she grit her teeth and glared ahead. The crossbow twanged and a bolt bristled out of the one the sheep’s heads.One of the three voices was silenced.Then the lieutenant and Erin were charging ahead. They hit the three-headed demon sheep all at once, clobbering and slicing into it with more violence than skill.I swayed. Blinked, then refocused. The bleating had stopped, and with it, the urge to sleep faded.Looking around, I saw two of the knights laid out on the ground. Lucille was on one knee, eyes closed, and Aria was hunched over, breathing even.I shook my head to push away the miasma of sleepiness. “Is everyone... okay?” I asked. The lieutenant and Erin seem to be finishing off with the monster.“They’re likely just asleep,” Amaryllis said. She moved over to Lucille, then extended a wing to the sylph to help her onto her feet.“Awa, that was scary,” Awen said. “No one told us about any sheeberus monsters in here.”“Yeah, I guess the lieutenant forgot,” I said. I moved over to the knights who had fallen over and shook their shoulders with a shoe. That woke them up. They were surprisingly spry in their full suits of plate, and were able to roll up onto their feet all on their own.“Did I fall asleep?’ Aria asked as I woke her up.“Just a bit of a nap,” I said.She rubbed at her face, then looked around in a panic before finding her notebook on the ground next to her. “That creature! It was covered in roots! Is that a natural evolution of the dungeon that became corrupted, or did the corruption lead to that specific evolution? I need to document this. If that kind of monster doesn’t appear after we’ve cleared the roots out, then it could mean... well, I don’t know what it could mean, which is why I need to write this down.”“Uh-huh,” I said. She was rambling a bit, but that probably just meant she was doing alright.I glanced up at the lieutenant and found that he was wiping his sword clean on the woolly fur on the three-headed sheep’s back.“Is everyone okay?” I asked again.No one asked for help, and everyone was either on their feet or climbing up. No injuries that I could see, just lots of blinking and people rubbing at their faces. One of the knights removed his helmet and emptied his canteen onto his head.Lieutenant Petalwrought stood taller, the monster at his feet dissolving into that strange dust that all dungeon creatures turned to once they were defeated. “This was a serious miscalculation on my part,” he said.“Are these creatures typical here?” Amaryllis asked.“No. I’ve never seen its like,” he said. “But we should have been better prepared to tackle unknown threats. We weren’t, which is why this one has taken us off-guard. It looks like some mixture of three of the normal sheep we have to deal with, combined into one larger abomination. The World acknowledges it as a new, singular creature.”I blinked, then brought up Mister Menu and looked for the experience drop from the fight.Ding! Congratulations, you have sheared Demon Sheeberus, level 16!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Do you think there will be more like it?” Aria asked.“I have no way of knowing,” the lieutenant said. “We’ll have to find out the hard way. Let’s take two minutes to catch our breaths. Check your equipment. Do whatever you need to do to stay awake.”I didn’t quite know what to do, so I did some stretching. I didn’t want to end up with a pulled muscle, and it would help me stay awake. At least, I hoped it would.Two minutes passed in a blink, and we reformed the same formation as earlier. “If we see one of those large ones, we charge in. They’re powerful enough to be a major threat. I want them off the field as soon as possible,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. He spun his sword around, stepped up, then planted a boot against the next fence.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.It crashed down with a heavy whomp, and we moved into the next area with slow, cautious steps.A distant bleat was the first sign the next wave was coming. Then the first sheep were sailing over the wall. No big ones, but a lot more of the little ones than last time.I flung some fireballs ahead, smacking one of the sheep dead in the face hard enough that it stumbled into a roll and was trampled by the sheep coming up behind it.Then the sheep were on us and the knights raised their shields and met their charge with a wall of steel.Bolts and spells flew out ahead, swords were swung and Erin and Bron came around the flanks to prevent the sheep from encircling us.Things were going pretty well.Then the fence at the end crashed ooutwards with a heavy bang, revealing two of those big sheep. In the distance, more thumping sounded.The next wave, already? Had it triggered on its own?“Tighten up!” Lieutenant Petalwrought shouted. We squeezed in a bit closer together. “We need to hit them before they start using their sleep magic on us.”“Counter?” one of the knights asked.The Lieutenant hesitated, then nodded.The four knights and the lieutenant raised their shields up, then aimed their free hands towards the sheep battering at the front lines. Then blasted some sort of magic forwards. I could feel it, but it was otherwise colourless and hard to make out, like a heat haze.A few of the sheep slumped down. Asleep.Of course the knights had sleep magic of their own!“I can get to one of them!” I said.“You’re our VIP,” the lieutenant said.“I won’t be very anything if we lose here,” I countered.Amaryllis cursed under her breath, using some very unlady-like words. “Fine. Give it your all everyone. No point in holding back here!” Having said that, she reached her hand out towards the oncoming sheep, then grunted before slippery spikes of lightning shot towards them. I had the impression she was using a lot less finesse than usual and was instead focusing on pouring as much magic into the spells as she could.It worked. A few of the bigger zaps took out some sheep all on their own, and those that didn’t die right away were staggered or knocked out.Lucille joined in, and I saw Awen lowering her crossbow, a focused look on her face. Soon large glass caltrops appeared in her hands and she flung them over and ahead of our group.I nodded, bunched my legs up close, and launched myself out and over with a huge bounce that carried me up close to the ceiling.One of the heads of the sheep I was aiming for turned up. “BAAAA!” it blared.I grit my teeth and weathered the blast of wind. There was no falling asleep, not while in the air. I couldn’t afford that.Weedbane snapped open, and I spun my hips around so that I twisted in the air. The scythe’s point swept right into and through the course, root-covered fur on the sheepberous’ back. It made a pained sound even as its white wool was stained red.I landed, a bit awkwards with the weight of the scythe pulling me aside. I wanted to swing again, but then the sheep moved.For something so big, it could move pretty fast, at least with short bursts. One of the heads swept down and rammed me in the chest, sending me stumbling. I had to crawl away from its hooves as they came clattering down in an attempt to squish me.Weedbane couldn’t help here, it was too big... One of the sheep faces dipped down, maw open wide with crookedy teeth ready to bite. I grabbed it by the neck and held it away from me. This... wasn’t the best position to be in.Then the sheep started to bleat at me, and I felt things grow a bit hazy. This wasn’t too bad. It was warm, and I was on the ground. If I let go, maybe the sheep would be like a big blanket...I blinked hard, then pulled at the sheep’s magic. My own was running low, so I'd borrow some from the sheep monster. It felt as if the veins in my arms were going to burst.I had to get rid of that magic, and now.So I did. I turned the magic into a tiny fireball, then another and another and another blooming all over its body. The sheep recoiled at the constant onslaught of fireballs, but I didn’t let go of it. I planted my feet against its chest so that it couldn’t kick at me, then pulled at its magic even more. That meant more tiny fireballs zipping around and smacking into the sheep’s faces and underbelly.The sheep’s three heads bleated and it stumbled back and wrestled itself out of my grip. It looked pretty rough there.I rolled to my feet, kicked Weedbane up and caught it out of the air.Two slices later and the sheep was going down.I glanced back. The second wave had rushed past and was hitting the group while The other big sheep had thundered past and was busy fighting the lieutenant at the front of the group. Blood ran down the sheep's chest from where the lieutenant had savaged its throats. When it tried to bleat, only a wavering, gurgling noise issued forth.I tightened my grip on Weedbane, then rushed back. The sheep at the rear of the formation never saw me coming, focused (as they were) on trampling the knights holding them off.With the sheep falling left and right and a few of the knights being freed to move more, the fight turned from a desperate defence to a quick and dirty offensive.The knights focused on the biggest sheep, taking it down with ease once they outnumbered its heads. The others took out the stragglers, with Erin and Bron moving around to make sure that those sheep that had fallen asleep were well and truly done.And then the big sheeberus fell, and the fight ended.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun Bun class has reached level 13!Stamina +10Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Nineteen — Nightie Knight
Chapter Three Hundred and Nineteen — Nightie Knight “Is everyone okay?” I asked once again.It was pretty clear that not everyone was in the best of shapes. One of the knights knelt down and started to remove the plates over his leg. There was a bit of blood there, and I suspected that one of the sheep had stomped his foot hard enough that the armour didn’t protect him entirely.Erin was sporting a nasty black eye, and Bron had a shallow cut through his gambeson right over his short ribs. The sheep did have horns, did one of them poke him in the chest?“I’m out of mana,” Lucille said. She slumped back onto the ground and leaned against her still-upright wizard’s staff. There was a sheen of sweat across her face and she looked exhausted.“We’ll take however much time we need,” lieutenant Petalwrought said. “At least we’ve reached the end of this floor. No combat for a while.”I glanced ahead. I didn’t notice earlier, but the fence the sheep had knocked over was the final one. The room ended at a wall with a doorway in its middle. The end of the floor? I relaxed a bit. If that led back to the bedroom that connected every floor together, then we’d be safe for a little bit.But then, we had the boss fight coming up.It was a little selfish of me, but I still checked on my friends before anyone else. Awen was stifling a yawn while carefully recranking her crossbow. Amaryllis looked stern, but a bit dishevelled too. Her feathers were all tussled up and swept back.“Are you guys okay?” I asked.“We’re fine,” Amaryllis said. She waved me a bit closer, and I walked over, expecting a hug. Instead she bonked me on the helmet with the back of a talon. “What were you thinking? Bouncing ahead like that? I saw you flop over and thought you were about to be crushed. You dumb bun.”“Hey! I made it out of there just fine,” I said.“If you had been injured, then no one here would have been able to help you,” she said. “Think of what that would do to Awen.”“Awa?”“Exactly,” Amaryllis continued. “If you were hurt, or died because of some overgrown sheep, then she would be inconsolable. Then I’d have to deal with her crying and I’m the last person we want dealing with that kind of useless emotional outburst.” She took a deep, deep breath, then let out a big huff. It was the sort of huff that outright admitted that she was projecting her emotions onto someone else.I hugged her. “Thanks for worrying about me,” I said.She carefully returned the hug, with much grumbling and half-hearted attempts to say that she wasn’t. I opened the hug up a bit, making room for Awen who joined in as soon as she could hastily put down her crossbow.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your hugging Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!“Oh, nice!” I cheered. “My Hugging Proficiency skill finally went up a rank.”Amaryllis sniffed. “So, that’s why you kept hugging us so much. We’re just here to grind your skills, are we?”I laughed. “Sure! Let me grind my hugging skills on you some more!” I squished my cheek against hers and wiggled until she squirmed out of my grip.“Well, it’s good to see that your moods are difficult to bring down,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said.I let go of my friends and all three of us stood up straighter. It was a bit embarrassing to be playing around while others were still hard at work. “What can we do to help?” I asked.“There’s not much to do now,” he said. “Just relax, recoup your mana as best you can, and if you have any wounds, then now would be a good time to let others know. Every knight, myself included, has taken some courses on how to apply first aid in the field.”I shook my head. I was fine. I might have lost a couple of points of health in that scuffle earlier, but I wasn’t hurting any. My mana was very low, but that would fix itself if we just waited a little while. “What’s our next step?” I asked.“We’ll move on in just a minute. I think Aria is inspecting some things and taking notes. Once she’s done with that and everyone is able to move again, we’ll continue on to the next room. I’ll brief everyone on what to expect from the dungeon’s boss there.”I nodded. “Okay then.”Aria finished with her note-taking next to the sheeberus’ body, then rejoined the group just as one of the knights finished helping another back into his armour. He had a small gash that they’d bandaged up. The armour was dented, but it still looked usable.I don’t think anyone expected to meet as much resistance as we found on this floor.Once everyone was ready, we moved on.The bedroom was... disgusting. The bed was a rotting mess, the walls were cakeed in mould, and the entire room stank of rot. Roots were poking through the walls and dark sludge was steadily dribbling from the ceiling and pooling in one corner. The floor was clearly uneven, with parts of it bowing upwards and a definite slant to it, as if the entire room was tilted just a little bit to one side.The air reeked so badly that my stomach was roiling. The other party members didn't look much better, and even the Lieutenant seemed taken aback.I instinctively sent out a flood of cleaning magic, then remembered I was trying to replenish my mana and forced myself to hold back. In seconds the air was once again nearly unbreathable.We spread out across the room. Despite our exhaustion, no one sat down; we even gingerly avoided the walls.“I'll make this quick; I believe some congratulations are in order,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “This dungeon is one of the more challenging ones, at least for its level. Few floors can be solved without violence, and those that can are no easier for it.”“The next floor is the last?” Aria asked.This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.The lieutenant nodded. “The boss floor. As soon as we cross that door, we’ll be facing the dungeon’s boss.” he gestured to the only other door in the room other than the one we’d come in from.“What’s the boss like?” Aria asked.“His name is the Nightie Knight. Same as the initial class you gain from the dungeon.”I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep the giggles in. “That’s such a cute name,” I said.“Yes, well, in any case,” Lieutenant Petalwrought went on while ignoring me. “The Nightie Knight will come out of a large building. He rides upon a steed and will charge across the floor in an attempt to hit anyone that might challenge him. His lance will stun anyone it hits, and his steed can easily trample you if you’re not careful to avoid it.”“Is it alone?” Amaryllis asked.“He is, yes. In all honesty, the Nightie Knight was never a great challenge. The previous floor is usually much more difficult, if only because facing many weaker foes can overwhelm you where a single stronger opponent can be kited and fought more directly.”“So what’s the plan then, Lieutenant?” Erin asked.“The knights and I will form a wide cordon near the centre of the room. I would suggest that everyone else split apart. Be ready to move aside when the Nightie Knight charges your way. His turning radius is relatively large, so it’s easy to avoid him if you start moving early. Magic is effective, as are most ranged attacks. Take out his steed and he’ll become a greater, though less mobile, threat. Dodging him when he’s charging around the room is less dangerous than fighting him one on one.”“So we just pelt him with magic and win?” Amaryllis asked.“Essentially, yes,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said.“Sounds... easy?” I tried.The lieutenant made a so-so gesture. “It’s not a difficult boss. I’ve fought him entirely on my own before. It’s a rite of passage within our order. It’s not an easy fight either. The boss moves quickly and hits hard. One blow from his lance and you will be knocked out, either from the hit itself or from the powerful sleeping magics he employs. Likewise from any strikes once he has been unsteeded.”The lieutenant fielded a few more questions, about terrain and tactics we could use, but in the end we pretty much decided to fight the Nightie Knight in the safest way possible. bombard him from range and hit him when he got close to the knights.After a good twenty minutes of breathing through my nose as little as possible, most of which were spent in quiet as we all just worked to refill our mana and stamina, the lieutenant stood taller and stretched his back out. “I think it’s time,” he said.We filed in behind him, and I noticed that everyone was a lot more comfortable with being close to each other than we had been at the start. It was wonderful what a few hours of near-death could do for making friends.Petalwrought had described the boss room as a big field surrounded by stone walls, but he had failed to mention the fact that the field was a farmer’s field.Big stalks of what I think was wheat stood in neat rows to one side, and a beaten-dirt path led all the way up to a big stone windmill with motionless sails.It would probably have looked like an idyllic scene if it wasn’t quite so dark and if the earth wasn’t broken up by invading roots the size of tree trunks.At least it just smelled like earth, rather than an open landfillThe sky above twinkled full of stars, and a big crescent moon sat big and plump above, casting everything in pale blues so that even if it was dark, we could still see pretty well.“The knight will come from the windmill,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. “Avoid the crop field. The footing isn’t great, and the wheat will cut your visibility.”The windmill creaked, and it looked like it wanted to turn, but it was held in place by a thick root that wound its way up the stone side of the building. That didn’t stop the double doors at the front from banging open.Golden light spilled out onto the fields where the knights and the lieutenant were spreading out.I hurried to find a place to stand away from anyone else, just like he’d asked, and I noticed that Amaryllis and Lucille were both preparing to cast some pretty big spells.My breath caught as the boss moved out of the windmill with a heavy clop-clop of hooves on dirt.The Nightie Knight was a short man on the back of a mule. He held a two-by-four tucked under one arm, and a garbage lid strapped to the other. His armour was a resplendent set of baby-blue pyjamas decorated with little teddy bears and sheep. He had a long, floppy nightcap.Amaryllis snorted.“Don’t underestimate him,” Petalwrought warned.“Oh, no worries,” Amaryllis said. “I’m not underestimating him. I’m merely mocking his sense of fashion.”I pouted. That looked pretty comfy, though.The knight raised his wooden lance and his mule brayed into the night.“Roots!” Aria said. “There’s roots all over him.”I squinted into the dark, then flung a little lightball ahead to make things clearer. She was right. The Nightie Knight was covered in roots all around his body, like cords holding him tight. They kept his legs gripped to the side of the mule, and as the steed moved forwards, it became obvious that the roots were making it harder for it to move at all.The knight charged... only it was more of a limping trot.“Fire!” Lieutenant Petalwrought shouted.Amaryllis and Lucille fired off twin blasts of lightning, followed soon after by Awen’s crossbow twanging into the night.I joined in with a brace of sticky fireballs which splashed against the knight and its mule.The fight was on!And then it was over.We all started as the boss flopped to the ground and started to turn to dust.I blinked."Huh."
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty — The Root of the Matter
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty — The Root of the Matter “Hold!” Lieutenant Petalwrought called out with one arm raised.Everyone held their positions, though I think most of us looked around for a trap of some sort. Was a second boss going to appear? A bigger, badder boss?I kept searching, but there was nothing suspicious. The boss room was quiet except for a slight wind that rustled the grass and wheat, and the sporadic creaking of the windmill. Finally, Amaryllis broke the silence. “This isn’t normal, I take it?” she asked. “That the boss died this easily?”Had the boss really died? I checked Mister Menu real quick to confirm it.Ding! Congratulations, you have sent ‘Sir Napwashad,’ level 16, to his eternal slumber! For defeating a Dungeon boss, bonus exp is gained! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!Mister Menu had another notification for me after that one.Dungeon Cleared!All adversaries within The Dungeon of the Lullaby Knight Defeated.All Bosses Defeated.Broccoli Bunch, Cinnamon Bun Bun level 13, Wonderlander level 4, is awarded the Nightie Knight class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Nightie Knight?Replacing one of your current classes will reset your level to 0 in that class.No thank you. Although of all the class-options I had, this one was one of the most interesting. Maybe I’d take it as a third class. Though with the way my levelling had slowed down, that wouldn’t be for months.“It’s really the boss,” Lieutenant Petalwrought confirmed. “Knights, stay here, guard everyone. Erin, Bron, could you follow me? We’ll verify that the exit is still cleared.”Everyone let out a sigh and some of the tension left us. I think we were all hyped up for a big battle, but that wasn’t going to happen. I was... a little annoyed, but I pushed that away. I didn’t need to be worried or annoyed at not having to fight. If anything, it was a good thing.I had to admit that I was a teeny-tiny bit hooked on the thrill of doing crazy dungeon stuff though. It was a ton of fun.I moved closer to my friends while folding Weedbane back up. “That was unexpected,” I said.“It was,” Amaryllis said. She looked a bit distracted though.“Is everything alright?” Awen asked.Amaryllis nodded. “Oh ,yes, it’s fine. I levelled up my Thundere class. Level thirteen.”“Oh, same as me!” I said.She nodded. “I suspect Awen won’t be far behind. There’s a tendency for people who work together and who face the same challenges to eventually reach the same level threshold.”“Is thirteen a big number for you?” I asked.“No, nothing special, just another step forward. It’s nice to see some growth though. I might push some of my skills up a rank.”“Oh, I’m thinking of doing that too. I have a Wonderlander skill that I’d like to see become a bit stronger. It might be fun!”“Hmm,” Amaryllis said.Awen shrugged. “I’m pretty happy with our growth so far. It’s a lot more than I think anyone expected from me... except maybe Uncle.”I laughed and pulled her into a hug. “If that’s the case, then I’ll expect you to hit level one hundred and be the strongest person ever!” I said.“Oh no,” Awen said, monotone. “Now I’m going to have to live with your crushing expectations instead.”I laughed some more, then settled down as I saw the lieutenant leaving the windmill “It’s clear,” he said. “More roots, but the door to the main room is accessible.”“Where’s the dungeon core?” I asked.He tensed up for a moment, then relaxed. “It’s back here. In the bedroom that links everything together. Come on everyone. Unless there’s anything anyone here wants to verify?”There wasn’t, though Aria did shuffle her foot through the ashes left by the boss when he faded away. “Any drops?” I asked.“Can’t see them if there are any,” Aria said.“The boss here only drops things on occasion,” one of the knights said. “It’s usually pyjamas. They’re comfortable enough. Help you rest well. Sometimes his lance will stay. It’s really just a piece of lumber though.”“Oh, that’s... well, it’s something,” I said.“I suspect if this dungeon were open to the public, it wouldn’t be all that popular with delvers,” Bron said.“Because the drops are all kind of... uninteresting?” I asked.“That, and it’s real tough. The best dungeons for dungeon delvers are those that are low-risk, easy to work through, and have good rewards. Cloth is... well, it’s not bad. Good clothes take a lot to make, I’m sure. Some of it can be pricey, but it’s hard to justify risking your life to maybe fetch a pair of pants and some yarn, ya know?”I nodded along. “I don’t think I could become a dungeon delver,” I said.“We delve two-to-three dungeons a month,” Amaryllis said.“Yeah, but never the same one twice. I’m in it for the new experiences. I think the sense of wonder might wear away if you visit the same place twice, you know?”We entered the windmill. The interior was all old wood and dust, with what looked like several half-floors above where I could see the mechanism for the mill held in place by big wooden beams. A huge grindstone sat in the centre, am imposing slab of carved rock that forced us to walk along the edges of the room. Roots were using the beams above to hang in place and had definitely clogged things up by jamming themselves in the gears and wheels.“This way,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. He was next to a door, which opened up onto a familiar bedroom.“That’ll lead us out of the dungeon?” I asked. “And to the core room?”“Both, yes,” he said.We followed him in. The same bedroom since the start of the dungeon, only this one had cracked floorboards with thick roots shoved in through between the wood, making everything uneven. A large root had ploughed through one of the walls, and dirt spilled out from the floor-to-ceiling rent as though we were underground, even though a window right next to it showed a pretty view of some nighttime fields.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.Was this the first bedroom-room with a window?The wretched miasma of rot and mould felt like it was trying to choke me to death. Foetid water ran down the walls and the only reason the floor wasn't a swamp was because it was seeping out through the cracks made by the roots. The bed frame had literally rotted out and collapsed, while the dresser had fallen over, spilling sodden nightclothes through the mud.“There’s an extra door here,” Amaryllis said past a handkerchief over her mouth.I looked around and she was right. The other bedrooms all had two doors. One to enter, one that led onto the next floor. This one had a third. It was blocked though, by a large root that was pressed right up against the door.“That's how to get to the core,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said.I stepped over to the doorway placing a hand on the root.“Maybe stand back a bit?" I requested. "I'm going to clear out this root."“Please describe the method you will use for this attempt?” Aria asked. She had her notebook out already.“Mostly I’m going to blast it with a lot of Cleaning magic. If it’s like the last few roots, then it’ll kind of... disintegrate? Uh, Lieutenant, the Evil Roots will definitely not like that. They might try to fight back.”His eyebrows rose, then he looked around the room, which had a number of roots in it. “Will they try to grab us?”“No, at least, I don’t think so. They might move. Mostly they’ll spawn these terrible plant monsters that'll try to eat us.""Uh." The Lieutenant looked a lot more on guard now."But only if there are any seed pods!" I hastened to add. "And we haven't seen any of those yet."“Everyone, on your guard,” he said. His sword came out, and the knights did likewise. “What’s the plan once the path is cleared?”“Is the core right on the other side of this door?” I asked.“It should be, yes,” he said. “It’s in a rather vulnerable place.”“Alright. Then I’ll clear a path to the core, then wash everything around it. Aria, if you want to take notes, that’ll be the time.”“Lucille, I’ll want your expert opinion,” Aria said. “You know magic better than I do.”Lucille nodded at that, then refocused on me.I took a deep breath, then checked my mana.Mana 87/145Not perfect, but more than I had to work with on other occasions. And once we were in the core room, I wouldn’t lack any mana. “Oh!” I said as I remembered. “In other dungeons, the dungeon itself might react to the roots breaking.”“React how?” the lieutenant asked.“Monsters might respawn suddenly. We don’t have to go back through any of the rooms again, right?”“No, the exit is right there,” he said.“How do monsters react?” Aria asked. “I’ve never heard of a dungeon respawning creatures while people were still in an instance.”“They’ll reappear and attack the roots. I don’t know if it’ll be enough to clear the entire, ah, infection. But they’ll attack the roots instead of not reacting to them at all,” I said.“It’s not too dissimilar to a body’s reaction to an allergen, in a way,” Amaryllis said. “A sort of immune response that the dungeon can only use once the grip of the roots is broken away.”“Any other questions?” I asked.At the lack of response I nodded, then turned to the root. “Whelp, here goes,” I said. I pressed my hand against the root, then focused on my magic. My improved Way of the Mystic Bun let me feel the mana running through the root, but it was... surprisingly weak? I could move someone’s mana in their body, but it felt like every last bit of mana in the root was zipping away, or maybe it was being used up as quickly as it came?I supposed that made a sort of sense.Cleaning magic erupted out of me in a condensed storm. It coursed across the room, stripping mould off the walls, wiping the windows clean, removing every stain from the blankets and what was left of the mattress in the corner. The room’s smell, of dust and staleness and rot, was wiped away by a fresh breeze that left the place smelling like spring and freshly cut wood. Except for my closest friends, some of the others even took a step back, shifting uneasily as my magic wicked away sweat-stains and grime. The knights wouldn’t need to polish their armour today!Then I concentrated the magic back into the root. I grunted as the magic didn’t quite want to take hold, but I was a stubborn bun, and no root was going to dirty this place up under my watch.The smaller spouts sticking out of the root disintegrated; the floor creaked as some of the roots poking through the boards blackened and fell apart. And then the big root before me twitched under my hand and seemed to try to pull back.“No way, buster,” I cursed.My mana dropped like a stone, but I didn’t care. I drove my magic into the root like railroad spikes hit with a sledgehammer, one after another. The root creaked, parts of it turning to powder along fault lines, letting great chunks of plant flesh slough off.And then the root couldn’t support its own weight and it snapped apart down the middle, both halves thumping to the floor.I let out a long sigh, then wiped my already-clean brow.Mana 09/145Close one! But I still had a tiny bit in the tank. “That’s one root down,” I said. “Or enough to let us through, at least,” I said.“... That was impressive,” Lucille said. “I have only had a few chances to see master-rank magic at work, and it’s rarely in so specific and narrow a focus for a magical skill.”“Ah, well, thanks! It happened entirely by accident!” I said.With that, I tugged the door to the core room open, then winced at what I saw.A wall of roots. Hundreds of tiny ones all braided together to form a barrier that I could hardly see past. Bigger ones filled in the space around those, and through that web, only faintly visible past a canopy of leaves sprouting from the roots, was the dungeon’s core sitting atop what looked like a pile of blankets in a baby cradle made of stone.“This is going to take some work.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-One — Uprooted
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-One — Uprooted The moment I was able to sneak my hand closer to the core in the centre of the core room, everything became a lot easier.There was enough ambient mana in there that my mana reserves started to tick up, a point every ten seconds or so instead of once a minute. That just meant I had more mana to pour into Cleaning magic.I pressed my free hand up against one of the little roots blocking the entrance. It started to fall apart as my Cleaning magic got to work. The root snapped, and I moved on to the next one below it.“Is there anything we can do to help?” Lieutenant Petalwrought asked.“I don’t think so,” I said. “Sorry! I’d love to have some help, and if there was something I could ask for help with I would, but... yeah, this is just going to take a little bit.”Another root snapped, and I noticed the entire body of the Evil Roots shifting very slightly. Did it know that I was harming it? I asked myself, not for the first time, if the Evil Roots could think. If they could, did they know that they were hurting the dungeons they were grabbing onto?My mana bounced up and down as I waited for it to refill a bit, then used it all up on cutting apart the roots blocking the entrance. Eventually, I had a space that was big enough to crawl through. “I think I’m going to climb through,” I said.“A dungeon’s core is high in mana,” Lucille warned. “Unless you’re spending all of it, constantly, then there’s a very real chance that you can hurt yourself.”“Yeah,” I said. “But that’s what I plan on doing. Flood the entire room with enough Cleaning magic that the Evil Roots don’t have a choice but to fall back. It’s easier to do if I can use the core’s own magic for it. Besides, look, it’s regrowing.”I tugged on one of the smaller roots and showed it to the others. The tip of it was still a little raw where my magic had cut through it, but it was turning a paler shade of green and it looked as though the root was starting to grow back.“Interesting,” Aria said. “Its growth rate must be spectacular. That’s... perhaps two or three milimetres a minute, at a guess. I’d need a ruler and some way of marking its progress over time to be certain.”“The roots cover a large portion of the entire dungeon,” Amaryllis said. “They would need to grow quickly to do that. I imagine various parts of the root network grow at different paces.”“I’m going to write so many papers from this,” Aria said with obvious glee. “Lady Albatross, Lady Bristlecone, you’ve experienced other dungeons plagued by these roots, correct? Ah, good. Could you tell me about them? Maybe how those ... infections ... differed from this one?”I listened with half an ear as my friends related their stories for some of the other dungeons we’d explored together. Aria took notes, of course.Once I had an opening that was wide enough, I climbed up into it after tossing my pack aside and handing Weedbane to one of the knights. I had to slip my head and shoulders in first, then I hoped that the sylph behind me were all gentlemen as I squeezed my hips through the passage.I landed in a roll on the other side and found the ground covered in those big flat leaves that the roots seemed to only grow around a core. Were they like leaves facing sunlight, but instead of sunlight they were fixed on the core?Did that mean that the core was radiating mana directly? It did glow a bit.That was worrisome. I didn’t know that much about radiation, but I recalled it being pretty scary, and usually if it was radioactive enough to glow, then seeing it wasn’t good for you.Well, an issue for later.I pushed out a wash of Cleaning magic around me, breaking up a circle of the leaves, then as more and more mana gathered in me from being closer to the core, I started to fill the room with Cleaning magic.It was like I was a filter, sucking in the ambient mana and then pushing it out in a form that was able to harm the roots.The leaves all across the room started to wither. Simply flooding the room with cleaning magic wouldn’t be enough to clear the bigger, thicker roots, but I suspected it was a start.I could either destroy the roots on the edges of the room and work my way in, or I could clear those grabbing onto the core directly. It only took a moment’s thought to come to a choice. The core was basically an important part of the dungeon, so removing the roots there would make the dungeon feel a bunch better.I had to work carefully. I didn’t want to strike the core itself in case it broke, but it was surrounded by roots. So, I carefully cut through the roots leading up to the core. Judging by how the roots on the walls flinched, they didn’t like that one bit.Once they were detached, it was pretty easy to peel some of the roots off the core just by tugging on them. A few were wrapped around tight enough that I had to let some ambient Cleaning magic brush up against them until they loosened and I could tear them off. After a few minute’s work, the entire core was clear.“There you go,” I muttered to the dungeon. “Nice and freed up.” For some reason I couldn’t help but think of the dungeon as a cute animal caught in a fence.The... taste of the mana in the air changed a bit. I paused as I felt at it to be sure it wasn’t a bad change.Then... then nothing happened, so I started blasting.Big gouts of Cleaning magic splashed against the walls and ceiling and floor, burning away the root’s infection until big clumps of root fell down with heavy thumps all around the room.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.Some of the roots tried to squirm away, others seemed to try and reach out to grab me, or maybe the core behind me, but they were slow-moving and when they met even more Cleaning magic, their efforts turned to nothing.Soon enough, I walked along the edge of the room, splashing magic onto errant bits of root on the floor.The room was much nicer without big vines clinging to the walls. It was a sort of nursery, with pastel walls and clean wooden floors. Unfortunately, there were holes in the walls and the floors were warped, but I had the impression that that wouldn’t last for very long. The dungeon, or at least the core, was free of the roots, so it had an opportunity to heal.Quest Completed!Trim the Cruel!The Core is saved!“I think that’s it,” I said as I left the dungeon’s core room. My mana was topped up to max and then some, but I was leaking an aura of Cleaning magic that would chew away at the excess.Lieutenant Petalwrought carefully stepped into the room and walked around it once. I had the impression that he was trying not to wince at the clinks and clangs of his armour as he moved with careful reverence. “It seems clear,” he said as he exited the room. “Will the roots perish now?”“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I think they might. The last dungeons started to fight back against the roots. I don’t know if that means that they’ll all win against them.”“But if the dungeon’s fighting back, then it has a chance,” Erin said. “We’ve delivered it a dose of medicine. I imagine the rest is up to the dungeon itself.”I nodded. “That’s how I think it works. I got a quest update. It said the dungeon’s saved. I don’t know if that means just for now, or if it’s a permanent thing.”A few of the others were giving me a look at that. I think it might have been the mention of the quest. If they treated the World as something very important, then getting a message from it was pretty important too.“We’ll have to trust you, then,” the lieutenant said.“I mean, you should verify anyway. Maybe send someone down tomorrow to see if there are any more roots poking into the room,” I said.He nodded. “I’ll inform the Knight-Captain and the other knights.”“I might want to see that,” Aria said. “If the roots are still here tomorrow, then there’s a chance they’ll be falling apart, or degrading. Even if they’re completely gone or remain as they are, I’ll want to see. It’ll be important to know moving on... and for my papers too.”“Speaking of higher-ups,” Amaryllis said. “We should head out. I’m somewhat tired of being in a dungeon, and I think we’re due a payment soon for services rendered. Though I imagine we’ll only see that once we’re back at the capital.”Everyone seemed to agree with that. I think we were all a bit tired. What time had it been when we entered the dungeon? Early afternoon? I couldn’t even begin to tell what time it was now. Some of the floors had felt like they went on forever. Had we been here for a couple of hours, or nearly a whole day? I couldn’t even guess by feeling how sleepy I was.“The exit is right through here,” Lieutenant Petalwrought said. He walked over to the last unopened door in the bedroom. “Before we go,” he said with a hand on the handle. “I want to say that it was an honour working with you all. Though most of you come from varied backgrounds and occupations, you all comported yourselves with dignity.”I knew that pride wasn’t a very nice emotion most of the time, but I still puffed out my chest at his words. “Thank you. I’m glad we all got to become friends.”There were a few chuckles, and Awen bumped her shoulder against mine.Then the door was opened and we filed through it. A tunnel awaited us on the other side. Just a few metres in, and I recognized it as the same one we used to enter the dungeon. And then we were out.A lone knight, in only half the armour as the others and with a spear by his side snapped to attention as he saw us entering the room. “Sir Petalwrought, sir!” he said at volumes that might have been a bit much for indoors.“Hello, squire,” the knight said. “Can you inform the Knight-Captain of our success?”“Yes, sir!” the squire shouted back. “Right away, sir. The Knight-Captain is in the upper debriefing room, sir.”That was a lot of sirs. This boy took himself very sir-iously. I giggled, then worked hard not to laugh when Amaryllis shot me a look. “Nevermind. It’ll just make you angry if I explain.”She just rolled her eyes“I believe everyone but our knights should come,” the lieutenant said. “Unless you gentlemen have anything important to add?” he directed the last to the knights.They shook their heads, and I imagined they were all eager to get out of that armour and into a bath. One of them handed me back Weedbane, and I thanked him with a cheery smile before tucking the scythe on my shoulder.“Very well then, please follow me once more, everyone,” the lieutenant said.We moved through the castle, and past a small courtyard at the back. The sky was that dark blue that only came about when the sun was about to set, which answered one of my questions, at least.Too tired to chat, we tromped up the stairs to the next floor where a bunch of generals and important riff-raff were waiting for us.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Two — Sizing Up the Future
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Two — Sizing Up the Future I expected the meeting with the generals to be kind of boring, and I wasn’t wrong at all.The generals, who had been drinking and smoking cigars earlier, decided to act a bit more professionally and so they met us in a meeting room where we all sat down. Lieutenant Petalwrought reported on our entire excursion through the dungeon in short, clipped sentences while sitting as if his back was locked in place.Once he was done, Aria delivered a very preliminary report. There were lots of words used whose meanings I wasn’t sure of, and the generals spent a lot of time nodding even though I was pretty sure they didn’t understand any better than I did.Then it was my turn. I bounced on my seat as I explained how I cleaned up the core. I used as many gestures and examples as I could. The generals seemed more confused than not when I was done, but Amaryllis and Awen were smiling, so I decided it probably didn’t matter.“Well, that was... educational,” the Knight-Captain said. He stroked his moustache, then nodded. “I believe we are quite done here for the moment, gentlemen and ladies. I’m aware that the sun has set already, but our magnificent navy has no fear of flying in the dark! The generals and I will deliberate for some time still, but those of you who wish to return to the capital may prepare yourselves for the flight back.”With that done, we left the meeting room.My friends and I stayed back for a bit to say bye to our new friends. I hugged everyone, even Erin and Bron and Lucille, who seemed a bit worried about getting hugged (which was quite silly, but I kept the hugs short so that they wouldn’t be uncomfortable) and then Lieutenant Petalwrought insisted on shaking my hand, even after I offered him a hug.“It was a pleasure working with all of you,” he said. “I’m genuinely glad that the dungeon has been cured of its ills. Hopefully it will be restored and in proper order soon enough.”“I hope it feels better too,” I said.We milled around for a bit, but eventually I think my friends and I all felt a little weary. Not tired; not sleepy. We’d taken some potions to keep awake and judging by how bouncy I felt I wasn’t going to be sleeping anytime soon.We left the knight’s little castle and crossed the training yard back to the sylph warship which was still anchored in place. The sailors we crossed were mostly sitting back and relaxing, a few were even snoozing away next to the crates and boxes they’d unloaded when we arrived.My friends and I climbed aboard the ship and when no one met us on the main deck, we went down a level back to the room where we’d waited on the way over.I found the cot in the corner of the room, spun around, and flopped onto it. “Ah, that was a long day,” I said.“It was,” Amaryllis agreed. She sat down to my right, scooted back, then folded her legs up under her.Awen hopped onto the other side, then she squeezed herself closer to my side. I leaned to the side, ears flopping atop her head and chin on her shoulder. “It wasn’t a bad day,” she said. “The last couple of weeks have been... busy, but not bad.”“Yeah, I guess so. I’m looking forward to getting back to adventuring though. Politics aren’t for me, I think.”Amaryllis sniffed. “Yes, I suppose you’d say that. Perhaps we can take the long way back home. I’ve always wanted to visit the north.”“Oh,” Awen said. “I’d like that. I... I would like to get stronger too. I only levelled up once in the last couple of weeks, and that was today.”“Right!” I said. “We’ll get even stronger then. I need to level up my hugging skills, and... oh, I have a skill I want to put a point into as well.”It had been a little bit since I’d looked at my growth.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
13
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
4
Age
16
Health
150
Stamina
165
Mana
145
Resilience
65
Flexibility
85
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 07%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 17%
Gardening
D — 41%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
C — 15%
Mad Millinery
D — 94%
Proportion Distortion
D — 100%
General Skills
Insight
C — 99%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 24%
Archeology
D — 29%
Friendmaking
C — 79%
Matchmaking
D — 68%
Hugging Proficiency
D — 57%
Captaining
E — 89%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
1
Wonderlander Skill Points
3
General Skill Points
3
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
3
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.Way of the Mystic Bun was proving to be a great skill at its new rank. Otherwise, not much had changed with my Cinnamon Bun Bun skills. Maybe I could put that spare point into one of them? Or was it cleverer to wait for Cleaning to be ready to become even more powerful?My Wonderlander skills were coming along nicely too! I was going to get a new skill in a couple of levels. I couldn’t wait! I was definitely going to put more points into Proportion Distortion. Sure, it wasn’t the most useful of skills, but it sounded fun!Mad Millinery was only growing slowly. Maybe I had to start trying on more hats? I’d try to remember to visit another hat store.Insight was so close to its max that it was almost funny. Friendmaking was getting close too.. If there was ever a general skill I wouldn’t mind using some of my precious slots on, that was it. Hugging Proficiency too... I was really grinding that one.But in any caseCongratulations! Proportion Distortion is now Rank C!Proportion DistortionRank C — 00%The ability to fit in and fit out. You can now use magic to help you grow up or grow down!I tilted my head as I tried to figure out what that meant. The tilting moved me a bit away from Awen and made my ears flop in the other direction, onto Amaryllis.I poked at the skill, the way it was phrased sounded like an ability that I could use on myself. Was it like when I had used Jumping to jump around?Closing my eyes and pinching my tongue between my teeth, I felt around myself with my magic. It was something that I wasn’t too used to yet. I bet that to someone raised on Dirt it would be second nature.I found a switch eventually. It was kind of buried in the pit of my tummy. I poked at it with some mana, and it sent a tingle across my entire body, like a shiver.Interesting.“Hey, Amaryllis?” I asked.“Yes?” she asked.“Can you hurt yourself with your own skills?”Amaryllis thought about it for a moment. “Yes, but not usually directly. A light application of creativity could turn a harmless skill into a danger, of course. You had a skill that let you jump around. It didn’t harm you, but it didn’t prevent you from jumping off a cliff either.”“Right,” I said. “I’m gonna try something,” I said.Before Amaryllis could protest, I shoved a healthy heaping of mana into the swirly thingy in my tummy.Everything around me shifted. I felt magic clinging to me and my clothes for a moment, then that tingly feeling returned, but way stronger.And then my friends and the room around me became much, much bigger.“Whoa!” I squeaked.My friends jumped, both of them turning to look where I was, or rather, where I’d been. They both looked down at the same time.Their expressions couldn’t be more different. Amaryllis stared in utter confusion before frowning. “You moron, what have you done now?”Awen gasped, then reached down with hands that were very, very big. She grabbed me under my arms, her hands were big enough that her thumbs touched. Then she lifted me up before her and held me out at arm’s length.I wiggled, especially when one of my ears flopped down before me and I had to shove it aside to see.“Tiny,” Awen said.When she hugged me, I laughed. It was weird being hugged when Awen was so much bigger.When the hugging ended, Awen placed me on her lap. “What did you do?” she asked.“I tried my new skill,” I squeaked while I worked to push my ear back. It seemed as if I’d made myself small, but my ears didn’t change in size at all. So they were as big as usual, but since I wasn’t, they were now about as long as I was tall.That was going to be tricky to work with. Though maybe it had just been me using the skill wrong. I needed to practice!I dropped off of Awen’s lap, then ran to the edge of the cot. Awen gasped and reached out for me, as if to stop me from falling off the edge. It was a bit further down that it had been before, but she didn’t need to worry. I stopped pouring mana into the thing in my tummy, and with a snap I returned to my normal size... probably. I was now standing on the edge of the cot, head almost banging against the ceiling.I’d need to be careful not to bonk myself with the skill.“Well, that was something,” Amaryllis said. “Why is it that you always end up with the most bizarre abilities?”“I just say yes to anything I stumble onto,” I said.She smacked herself in the face. “Broccoli,” she sighed with the same tone she usually used for calling people idiots.“Let me try to do the opposite,” I said.“The opposite?” Amaryllis asked. “You’ll make yourself bigger?”“Yup,” I said.“No,” she shot back.I blinked. “No?”She shook her head. “No. Not indoors. Certainly not onboard a ship, no matter how close to the ground we are.”“Ah, right, that makes sense,” I said. “Whelp, in that case I’m going back to being small. I want to see if I can get small enough to fit into a pocket.”“How about you don’t experiment with a new skill so carelessly?” Amaryllis asked instead.“Could you keep it up all night?” Awen asked. “Like a plushie... but warm?”“Uh, I don’t think I can,” I said. “It uses up a lot of mana. I’m not sure how much, but at least a point per second, maybe a bit more? I bet it’ll get better with practice though!”“That’s unsustainable,” Amaryllis said.“Yes, but it’s fun,” I shot back.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Broccoli, you’re just so... Broccoli.”“Hey! I’m not a noun you can just toss around like that,” I said.And so we bickered, and we joked around, and we unwound ourselves after a hard day’s work.I think we’d done a pretty good job in Goldenalden. We foiled Rainewts evil plans, helped people learn how to break Evil Roots, and hopefully stopped an entire war from happening.I was pretty proud of what I’d done.That pride wouldn’t distract me from more adventuring though! I couldn’t wait to hop back aboard the Beaver Cleaver, join up with some of my other friends and crewmates, and head off to the next great adventure!
* * *
Chapter Three hundred and Twenty-Three — Adventurers For Hire
Chapter Three hundred and Twenty-Three — Adventurers For Hire “We’re back!” I cheered while hanging off of the airship’s side.Below me was Goldenalden, the great big capital city of the Kingdom of Sylphfree lit by the first clear rays of morning sunlight. It stuck off the side of a huge mountain, with sylph-made plateaus and carved out sections of the mountain giving the city plenty of room. It helped that the sylph, liked building things tall, on account of being able to fly.“Back away from the edge, you dufus, you’re going to trip off the side and I don’t care how good you are at jumping, you’ll splatter yourself at this height” A familiar taloned hand grabbed me by the scruff and pulled me away from the edge.I laughed. I couldn’t help it, I was filled with this great manic energy, and no amount of worrying from Amaryllis was going to rob me of it. “I was holding onto the edge,” I said.“Yes, and I’m sure you’ve never dropped anything before,” Amaryllis said with a huff. “You would feel quite stupid if you tripped off the side of the ship. At least for the few seconds it takes for you to hit the ground.”I grinned, but she was probably right. “Okay, fine. Thanks for worrying.”Amaryllis’ cheeks puffed and she strutted off in a huff.“If you want,” Awen’s more timid voice said from next to me. “I could get some ropes and straps, that way you can hang off the edge of the ship all you want.”I shook my head. “It’s fine,” I said. “Besides, it’s a bit windy.” I had to keep adjusting my ears and hair because both kept getting flicked around by stray gusts.The ship-a sylph military vessel commandeered to get us to the dungeon of the Lullaby Knight-was about as aerodynamic as any sylph ship, which is to say that it was basically a flying brick with sharply angled sides and a partially-armoured balloon.The ship sailed past the busiest parts of Goldenalden, over the blue and red and gold districts, before we finally glided down towards the military port where sylphs in uniform flew up to meet the ship with long cables behind them.Amaryllis returned, carrying her stuff as well as mine and Awen’s. “Here. I figured I would grab all of our things while I was below deck.”“Thanks!” I said. I hadn’t brought too much on our last adventure. A small bag and Weedbane, my new scythe, were about it. Awen had a bunch more stuff, but she was a mechanic and she needed her tools and such.The ship docked, a gangplank was fixed to its side, and after the first few sailors moved across it we squeezed past and onto the docks.“Okay,” I said as I walked with a bounce to my step. The docks clunked and bobbed beneath me. “Where to now?”The sun had just come up after our overnight trip back to the capital, so we had a whole day ahead of us. I hadn’t slept a wink all night. Our guide in the Lullaby Knight dungeon-Lieutenant Petalwrought-had given us potions that were meant to make us resistant to Sleep magic.They worked really well against normal sleep too. My friends and I spent the night in a little cabin just chit-chatting about everything and nothing.“I suppose since this mission was given to us by the king, we ought to report back to him,” Amaryllis said. “But it would be somewhat unusual for three contractors to report back directly to the king unless he specifically ordered us to do so.”“We could pop over to the palace anyway and leave a message,” I suggested. “I bet he’s got secretaries.”“When you’re a king they’re called stewards, but yes, he definitely has people who can take care of appointments for him,” Amaryllis said.I glanced around, got my bearings thanks to the mountain peak poking out above the city, and then we set off to cross Goldenalden. Last time we’d come with a carriage, but this time we simply walked. It was early enough in the morning that most of the city was still sleeping, though birds were darting around after each other and the earliest to wake were already out and about.We stuck to the ground level, where the traffic was even quieter. Most sylph liked to fly around, or at least flutter from rooftop to rooftop, so the streets were relatively quiet except for the occasional donkey-drawn cart.As we moved north and towards the gold district, the streets widened and apartment buildings gave way to stately homes and eventually small estates before we reached the walls surrounding the palace.Two guards stood on either side of the gate, and more waiting in the towers above. These weren’t city guards; they had much nicer armour with a lot more feathers and fluff on their helmets.“Hello, sir,” I said as we came over. “I’m Captain Bunch, these are Lady Bristlecone and Lady Albatross. We’re here to see the king.”The guard blinked at me. I think he might have been close to his change of shift, because it took a moment for him to realise that I was asking for something. “Ah, one moment, ma’am,” he said.A cord was pulled, a bell was rung, and soon enough a butler-looking sylph flew over the front gate and greeted us with a bow. “I’m afraid his majesty was not yet expecting you, though we do have orders to expect your arrival sometime today. If it would please you, we may extend the royal family’s hospitality to you and offer you a stay in one of the guest lounges until his majesty is ready to receive supplicants and guests.”“That would be fine,” Amaryllis said.“Could we have snacks while we wait?” I asked.The butler stared.“We could pay you back. I’m really hungry.”“Ah, yes, something could be arranged, of course. Please, follow me.”The butler led us-and a complement of two guards-through the front gate and across the palace grounds. We entered, then I immediately got lost as we navigated through an unfamiliar part of the palace.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.The butler dropped us off in a room with a few lounge chairs, an end table, and a little bookcase next to a window overlooking one of the greenhouses next to the palace. “I shall return with refreshments in a moment,” he said before heading off.The guards stayed on either side of the entrance. They were really good at staring blankly ahead.“Awa, do you think the king will want us to do more work with dungeons?” Awen asked.“It’s a possibility,” Amaryllis said. “But I doubt it would last for very long. Training people with Cleaning magic to use it the way Broccoli does shouldn’t take too long. A few weeks at most. Sylphfree won’t lack for volunteers. Grab a few soldiers with appropriate classes, have them clean the latrines until they get the skill, then escort them through a few fights until they level up enough to pour points into Cleaning magic, and voila, a new person able to clear out Evil Roots.”“It took me... about two months?” I guessed. I wasn’t great with keeping track of the date, so I just guesstimated how long I was on Dirt for.“Which is impressive,” Amaryllis said. I puffed up with pride, but then she shattered that with her next words. “But I suspect that soldiers undergoing strenuous training can go from level one to ten in as little as a month. Less, if risk is being put aside in favour of speed.”“Soldiers train that quickly?” Awen asked.“Oh no,” Amaryllis said. “Soldiers can level that quickly. Given access to dungeons, with guides and facing threats as a group, they can definitely spend days fighting and working to level up. The training to learn how to fight as a group though? That can take several more months.”“You know a lot about this,” I said.She shrugged. “I had a passing interest in the matter back home. I recall that most career soldiers take six months to a year to train before they’re deployed anywhere, with frequent re-training and additional classes if they specialise in anything. If there’s a draft, though, the average training time is reduced to a handful of weeks.”“That’s not very long,” Awen said.“No, it isn’t, and so you can imagine that the quality will be similarly impacted.”I tapped my chin, then turned to one of the guards. “Hey, mister guard. How much training did you get?”He blinked, then glanced at his companion. “Ah, forgive me, ma’am, we aren’t meant to interact with guests.”“Not even to ask questions?” I asked.He nodded slightly.“What if I need to use the ladies room and don’t know where it is?” I asked. “Would you just stand there while I did the ‘I have to pee’ dance?”The guard’s cheeks definitely took on a reddish hue. He was saved from having to explain himself when someone appeared at the doorway. “Stop bullying the guards, Broccoli.”“Caprica!” I said as the princess entered the room. She was in one of her usual outfits. A tight red uniform, not too dissimilar to the guard I’d been talking to (not bullying!) a moment ago, though it was tailored very neatly, and her uniform’s gold-coloured gilding looked like actual gold as opposed to yellow thread. “It’s good to see you.”“Has it even been more than a day?” she asked.“Does it matter how long it’s been? I’m still happy to see you,” I said. I pulled Caprica into a tight-tight hug, making sure to be careful with where I placed my hands on her back. I didn’t want to squish her wings.Caprica patted my back in return. She was still a bit awkward about hugs, but I’d wear her down eventually. “Well, regardless of all that... how did it go?”“Dungeon cleared!” I cheered at indoor-voice levels.“Broccoli’s right, the dungeon was cleared. She took out the Evil Roots. We’ll have to wait and see whether the dungeon itself will heal after this,” Amaryllis said. “I imagine some of the people who went down with us will be writing reports on the entire event for you to peruse.”“They will,” Caprica said. “But it might take some time before I get access to those. Still, if you say the dungeon was cleared, I’ll believe you.”“Awa, thank you,” Awen said.Caprica found a seat on one of the free lounge chairs and looked ready to say something when the butler sylph returned with a tray before him. He paused a bit on seeing her in the room, but he continued and placed his tray down on the coffee table before leaving the room with a bow.There was toast and jams and little pastries dusted in sugar and filled with creams. Sylph food was always super sweet.“So, what’s the next step?” Amaryllis asked as she plucked a pastry off the platter.“That depends,” Caprica said. She grabbed a piece of toast-which looked like it was still warm-and started spreading jam on it. “Mostly on what you want to do next. I imagine father wouldn’t mind continuing to pay you to clean out our dungeons.”“That could be fun,” I said. “But it sounds a bit too much like doing the same thing over and over.”“Could be good for levelling,” Amaryllis pointed out.I frowned, then picked one of the pastries for myself. It was gooey and yum and I was lucky I had Cleaning magic or else I’d need to get my gambeson cleaned because some spilled out of the back of the pastry when I bit into it. “Mmm, yeah, but we’re here to save the world and have fun. Not just grind and get stronger.”Awen giggled. “I guess not.”“In that case,” Caprica said. “I think there’s another job you could do. But I’ll have to ask father about it first. This is a somewhat politically sensitive topic, and one that I think you’d be well-suited to take care of.”“Do tell,” Amaryllis said.Caprica grinned.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Four — Broccoli & Friends Mercenary Company
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Four — Broccoli Friends Mercenary Company “You’re all familiar with the harpy delegation that was meant to be at the summit?” Caprica asked.My friends and I all nodded. “What’s going on with that, by the way?” I asked.“The summit? For the moment it has been postponed. We haven’t set any sort of date for the second attempt. It would be a faux-pas to organise something too hastily. I imagine that it will be a few weeks until we start preparing for another summit, this time with proportionately tighter security.”Amaryllis sighed. “And to think I wasted all that time preparing.”Caprica chuckled. “I wouldn’t consider it entirely a waste. Your group left a much better impression on the nobility of Sylphfree than any speech could have.”With a proud sort of huff, Amaryllis gestured for Caprica to continue. “You were talking about the delegation? The airship has been found?”“Not quite,” Caprica said. “We have an idea of where it disappeared, but not an exact location. The army scoured the areas it was supposed to pass through, but nothing was found. Then they expanded their search to other routes the ship might've diverted to — but still, nothing.”“Which either means that the army is incompetent beyond measure, or the ship never made it into Sylphfree in the first place,” Amaryllis said.“Does that mean that it got lost in the Trenten Flats then?” I asked as I tried to remember what Dirt looked like on a map. “Maybe it flew too far east?”“That would be very unlikely,” Caprica said. “The flying east part, I mean. We did receive confirmation of a sighting to the north of the Golden Peak. The path the ship should have taken would have brought it further north, then around through a well-marked passage between the north-western mountains of Sylphfree. But the ship never arrived at the passage, so we now believe it likely disappeared in the territory of the Trenton Flats.”“So you want us to grab the Beaver Cleaver, head out there, and find the ship and all its passengers?” I asked.Caprica hesitated, then nodded. “Essentially, yes. Though there are several details that we’d need to work out beforehand, and I’m not certain if your vessel would be suitable for the quest at hand.”I crossed my arms. “The Beaver’s an excellent ship,” I defended.“I’m certain that it’s a fine vessel. However this quest would require a certain amount of... discretion, which wouldn’t be easy to obtain if you were to just fly in with an airship and start searching for a potential crash-site.”“Ah,” Awen started. “Um, why aren’t the sylph looking? Why send us?”Caprica hummed. “Mostly the issue comes down to politics. The Trenten Flats and the Kingdom of Sylphfree aren’t allies. We’re not enemies either, but things are tense right now.”“Couldn’t you explain things?” I asked. “A whole ship went missing, full of innocent people.”“And politicians,” Awen added.I nodded before continuing. “That should warrant a search by the cervid, right?”“You’d think so, but the Trenten Flats have fewer ships than we do, and they’re older besides— they were outdated when they were first launched. Having Sylphfreean ships roaming above their territory would violate their territorial skies. Asking them to do the work would raise tensions. Besides, we can't rule out the possibility that the Trenton Flats are the reason the vessel is missing in the first place.”Amaryllis sat up straighter. “You think they ... what, shot down the Harpy delegation?”“The delegation was escorted,” Caprica said. “It’s not the case of one ship going down, but several. One vessel having an unfortunate accident is plausible. A small fleet is less so. Had the fleet turned around to return to the Harpy Mountains, we would have heard about it by now.”“So, you need someone real discreet and sneaky to look around the Trenten Flats and find the entire delegation fleet. So, naturally, you thought of me and my friends,” I said carefully. I was pretty sure Caprica knew that... well, I didn’t do sneaky very well.Amaryllis snorted. “We’re the most conspicuous people that have ever set foot on Dirt.”Caprica chuckled. “To be entirely fair, I wasn’t expecting you to go unnoticed. What I’m expecting is that the Trenten Flats won’t know what to do with you. Legally, there is no reason you can’t go sniffing around on your own initiative. Politically, it would be hard to blame any nation for your actions. Amaryllis has a reason to be looking for the delegation, even if she’s not employed by the Nesting Mountains. Awen, Broccoli, you’re both strangers to these parts.”Amaryllis nodded along. She plopped another pastry in her mouth, then chewed and swallowed. “I see what you’re thinking. I can merely claim that the delegation is needed to do its job. Broccoli and Awen can be acting as assistants and companions in my... let’s call it a personal quest to discover what happened to the delegates I had to replace.”“That’s exactly what I was hoping for, yes,” Caprica said.“I’m in,” I said.“We’ve barely heard all the details,” Amaryllis said. “Besides, we need to discuss compensation.”There was a knock at the door to the lounge, and one of the guards reached over and opened it. Somehow, both of them went even more stiff than they had been.The reason why stepped into the room, followed by a pair of paladins who scanned the space as if any one of us might be a threat. “Hi Reggie,” I said to the king.The king grinned and made his way to the seat Caprica was on. She slid to the side, making room for him on the couch as he sat down across from us. “This is a less formal gathering than I’m used to,” he noted.I wasn’t too sure about that. There were nearly as many guards in the room as there were non-guards.“Formality isn’t our strong suit,” Amaryllis admitted.“That’s fine,” the king replied. “I imagine that if Caprica is here, she has highlighted part of the request I had?”“You want us to sneak over to the Trenten Flats and find the delegation,” I said.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!He nodded. “I would have embellished the mission a little more, but essentially, yes. The location of the delegation needs to be sussed out. The sooner the better. The Nesting Kingdom could level accusations against us any day now about their missing diplomats. I’m certain that news of their disappearance has already reached some ears on the Harpy Mountains.”“No doubt,” Amaryllis said. “Are you doing anything to cover it up?”“No,” he said. “Innocence in matters like these can be difficult to prove, but I’ve found that covering up details and masking the truth to make it more convenient only tends to make the actual truth stand out all the more. There are people with skills and classes who are exceptionally talented at discovering and connecting disparate facts together to draw an accurate conclusion.”That sounded really neat. Magic-empowered detectives!“Wait!” I said. “Why haven’t you used those to find the delegates?” I asked.The king grinned. “Clever. But we thought of that already. Our own analysts haven’t discovered the delegation’s trail. We have a few ideas, some theories — it is partially thanks to such analysts that we are confident the delegation vanished outside our territory — but nothing solid. We’ve also tried to scry for their location. The army, as you can imagine, has ample reasons to keep a number of capable scryers around. So far though, we’ve found nothing conclusive.”Awen raised a hand like a schoolgirl asking a question. The king nodded to her, and she asked. “Um. What are the limitations of the scrying?”“I would have a number of generals quite angry with me if I divulged that. Suffice to say, though, that there are issues of range. We cannot, for example, scry from here to the Harpy Mountains. The distance is too great. Nor can we pinpoint a person’s location with great precision. There are spells that will point you towards a person, but they usually have two to three degrees of inaccuracy. Even triangulating from a few stations will point to a large possible range of locations a person could be in.”I nodded along. That explained why they hadn’t found the delegation.“Um,” Awen said. “Wouldn’t that mean that, based on the range, you’d know where the delegation... isn’t?”The king tilted his head to the side. “Yes, we used that to mark out areas where the delegation ships aren’t located. That will narrow down the area you’d need to search.”“Before we agree to all of this,” Amaryllis started. “Is this something you want us to organise on our own?”“I was going to suggest that you team up with a few choice sylph. I believe there are some paladins ready to escort you to the Trenten Flats. I’m afraid the search, once there, will be up to you.”I rubbed at my chin. “We’re going to need to get the Beaver Cleaver closer,” I said. “Not to do the actual search, but if we discover that the delegation left to go somewhere else and we need to chase it down, we need a fast, reliable ship that can do that.” the Beaver wasn’t the fastest ship, but it was very reliable!“That can be arranged. I’ll have someone bring the ship to the capital. If you could write a letter addressing your crew, that would be helpful,” the king said.I nodded along. That made perfect sense.“And now onto the more interesting topic,” Amaryllis said. “Remuneration.”The king chuckled. “How very mercenary. Yes, I wouldn’t imagine giving anyone a quest like this without paying them back. Speaking of which...” he gestured to one of the paladins. The sylph reached under his armoured cuirass and pulled out a lacquered wooden box which he handed to the king. How did that box fit under his armour? Unless the paladin was very, very thin under there. The box seemed heavy, especially as the king placed it on the coffee table with a clunk.The king undid a latch on the front of the box, opened it, then turned it around for us to see.“Three hundred sylph ducats, as promised,” he said.The box had three rows of coins, all neatly placed in groves obviously meant to hold them in place. I reached out and plucked one. It was heavy, which I expected of gold, and about the size of the circle I could make by touching my index finger to the tip of my thumb.I held the coin up before me, face side lined up next to the king’s face. “Were these stamped a while ago?” I asked.One of his eyebrows rose. “Some years ago, yes. Have I aged poorly?”I giggled and shook my head. “No no. But you had more hair once.”“Broccoli!” Caprica gasped.The king laughed. “Yes! I did! My wife reminds me frequently. Mostly I blame my overabundance of daughters.”“Father!”“Broccoli, stop insulting the guy who can chop our heads off on a whim,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, oops. Sorry!” I said before placing the coin back into its box.The king waved the apology away. “It’s nothing. I do own a mirror or two and can see the truth for myself. Now, this is the promised reward for the last task you completed for us. A handsome reward, I’m certain.”I glanced to Amaryllis. I had no idea if this much gold was a lot or not. I figured it was, but my frame of reference wasn’t ideal.Amaryllis caught on to what I was asking with just a glance. “Yes, Broccoli, it’s a lot. The Sylph ducat is perhaps the most valuable coin on Dirt, or at least the parts I’m aware of. It’s pure gold, not mixed with anything else. Three hundred gold is enough to purchase a small house in most cities.”“Oh, that’s nice then,” I said. “We can use it on the Beaver! Make the ship even cooler, right Awen?”“Ah? Yes, I can think of a few modifications that would cost about that much,” Awen said. “A new engine wouldn’t be cheap. But we don’t really need much, the Beaver Cleaver is still very new.”The king cleared his throat. “I’ll let you ladies discuss things further. You’re invited to stay the night, if you wish. Any mission you go on would likely start in the morning. Let Caprica know what you think.”And with that, the king was off, leaving us to make our choice.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Five — Early to Bed and Early to Rise
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Five — Early to Bed and Early to Rise We did end up spending the night at the palace, but only after returning to the inn where our stuff was. I might have been able to clean all of our clothes really well, but my friends still insisted on changing their underthings and taking baths.So we spent the rest of that day walking across Goldenalden, eating at the inn, and generally wasting time and having fun. The weather was nice and chilly, and we even got a flurry of snow that quickly melted away.When noon hit, all of us started to feel really tired, and I think we were reminded that we hadn’t slept at all the previous night.We ended up heading to bed early in one of the guest wings of the palace.I slept like a rock, more or less blacking out for who-knows-how-long, until a knock at the door woke me up.“Miss, I was told by Lady Amaryllis to awaken your group at this hour,” an unfamiliar voice said from the other side of the doorway.I yawned. “Thank you!” I called back.Then, because I could, I stretched my arms and legs out until every bit of me was shivering with tension, then melted back into the floofy mattress. The sylph really knew how to make a good bed.After lazing about for a bit, I rolled over and off the bed. Then I found my things where I’d dropped them on a clothing-chair and got dressed for the day. I found Awen in the corridor, walking the slow shuffle of someone who wasn’t entirely awake yet. “Good morning!” I cheered before giving her a morning hug.“Awa?” Awen mumbled weakly. She stuffed her face against the crook of my neck. “Hmm. Morning.”“Did you sleep well?” I asked as I backed off.She nodded. “I guess so. The bed was nice.”“I know! We should get some for the Beaver. Do you think Caprica would help us grab a few?”“You want to steal beds from the royal palace to put them on our airship?” Awen asked.“Of course not. The beds here are nearly as big as our cabins. We’d need much smaller ones. Besides, stealing is wrong.”Awen nodded along, then stifled a yawn. “Did you see where Amaryllis went?”I shook my head. “Just came out of my room, sorry. Let’s wander around until we find her.”That turned out to be a very inefficient way of finding our harpy friend, though we did end up wandering into that big dining room where we’d spoken to the king the other day. Caprica, her little sister Gabrielle, her bigger sister Stephania, and the queen were all at the table having breakfast.“Hello!” I said. “Good morning, and have you seen Amaryllis anywhere?”Caprica looked up from her meal. It seemed like some sort of porridge with lots of sweet sauce and jam on it. “No, I haven’t,” she said. “But you can wait here. There should be enough for a few more. Unless anyone minds?” She glanced at her family.“Of course we don’t,” Gabrielle said. She grinned and gestured to the seat across from hers. “Come, sit! There’s enough for everyone.”I noticed that they all sat a bit apart from each other, though all four of them also had books and papers out on the table. Stephania was looking over a newspaper and the queen had some reports. Gabrielle was the only one not working while eating.“I’m sure Amaryllis will show up eventually,” Caprica said. She frowned at the breakfast laid out before her. “Should we hide the eggs?”“Ah,” I said. “I guess? I don’t know if Amaryllis is all that easy to offend... well, actually, yes, she is easy to offend, and she did say that eating eggs is quite taboo among the harpy, but I don’t think she’d make a fuss over it.”“Aren’t there eggs used in baking all of our pastries?” Gabrielle asked. “I haven’t spent a lot of time in the kitchens, but I think there are eggs used there.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, I don’t think she’s allergic to them?”I sat down across from Gabrielle and Awen took a seat next to me. She kept glancing at the queen, but the older sylph woman was focused on her paperwork and her jam-covered toast.Caprica gestured to one of the butlers hiding in a nook next to a pillar, and he swept in and swept the eggs away with one hand while laying out fresh plates for Awen and I, with little folded napkins and shiny silverware.Butlers were so cool!“Please, serve yourselves,” Caprica said.“Thank you!” I said before I did just that. Sylph breakfasts were heavy on the bread, pastries and jams, with a few meats here and there that I avoided. I didn’t need a tummy ache so early in the day, even if it smelled nice.“I heard that you went on a big adventure at the Dungeon of the Lullaby Knight,” Gabrielle said. “Was it scary?”I nodded. “Oh yes, very. Some of the floors were easy, but there’s this one floor where you have to cross this room that’s filled with all of your worst nightmares. It was awful!”Gabrielle gasped, hands over her mouth, but for all that, she still looked interested. “But you braved past those, right?”“Yeah!” I said. “Me and my friends are real brave.”“And humble,” Stephania mumbled.“We’ll be putting that bravery to the test later,” Caprica said. “We found a way to carry you to the location of that quest father gave you.”“Caprica,” the queen said. She didn’t look up from her papers. “Is it wise to discuss secretive matters over breakfast?”“Usually, no, but Broccoli can’t keep a secret. All a spy would have to do is ask and she’d spill it all. Besides, we’re in the heart of the palace, if we can’t speak here, then nowhere is safe.”My cheeks, already filled with a mouthful of toast, puffed out. I could totally keep a secret! I... just didn’t have any secrets to keep, was all.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.“How are we going to get to the Trenten Flats?” Awen asked carefully while glancing at the queen.Caprica grinned. “I recall you mentioning that Paladin Bastion-” she ignored Stephania’s snort and Gabrielle’s sigh— “Promising you that he’d let you ride some wyverns. We have some knights who would be more than willing to fly over the Trenten Flats to drop you and your companions over to a predetermined location.”“Oh, that sounds fun,” I said. “Is riding a wyvern anything like riding a dragon?”“You’d have to ask someone who rode a dragon to learn the difference,” Caprica said with a grin. Then her eyes narrowed. “You... don’t know anyone who has ridden a dragon, do you?”I had kind of forgotten that the sylph really didn’t like dragons.That dislike wasn't mutual, though. From what I gathered, dragons loved the sylph, as in-flight snacks.“Of-of course not?” I stammered while cringing away from Caprica’s curious look.“You were right,” the queen said. “She can’t keep a secret.”“She really can’t,” Amaryllis said as she entered the room. She crossed the space, paused to bow to the queen-wait, were Awen and I supposed to do that too?-then continued on and pulled out a seat next to Awen. “What is Broccoli failing to keep secret now?”“Amaryllis! You could have distracted them by changing the topic, at least,” I said.“I didn’t feel like it,” she said. The butler swept by and placed another plate before her, and she started loading it up with things.“I was just telling Awen and Broccoli about our plan to get you to the Trenten Flats quickly. It involves taking a flight of wyverns over the flats.”“Not exactly inconspicuous,” Amaryllis said.“Less so than you’d imagine,” Caprica said. “Wyvern are native to the Sylphfree mountains, but the wild ones range over the flats in search of prey. Seeing a group of them isn’t as common, but it isn’t unheard of. From the ground, it’s difficult to tell that a wyvern has a rider at all.”Amaryllis considered it, then nodded. “That’s one way to make it there. How do we return? On foot? Can we charter a ship back from one of the towns in the Trenten Flats?”“We can give you a magical device to signal us,” Caprica said.“You have long-range magical signalling devices?” I asked. If that was the case, why didn’t they have telephones and the like?“I was thinking of giving you a special banking ring,” Caprica said.Oh! Like the one Amaryllis had that connected to the bank in the Harpy Mountains. That was less a communication device as one that let people teleport things back and forth. I'd consider getting one for myself, but we kept travelling far from any central banks — too far for their limited range.“That could work,” Amaryllis said. “Do you have any more details for us, other than ‘go to the Trenten Flats and find the diplomats?’ That’s a little too vast of a mission for just three people.”“Three very talented people,” Caprica said. “But yes, we have a few potential leads you can follow up on. I’d suggest that you travel to Fort Middlesfaire. It’s one of the many fortress-cities the cervid have built as they pushed north. One of the first ones, actually. From what I’ve read, it’s a prosperous-enough little city now, centering around the fort. There are dozens of smaller towns around it which provide the food and supplies needed for the city to function.”“You think we’ll learn about the expedition there?” I asked.Caprica nodded. “If you ask around, most likely. Fort Middesfaire is a central hub for the region, and an important stop for the trade caravans circling around the Harpy Mountains over land. Keep in mind that most of the trade in the Trenten Flats is done over land. They have long convoys that require frequent stops. Bandits are an issue as well. So traders enjoy having forts less than a day’s travel apart.”Bandits? That sounded awful. And a little exciting.“Don’t worry! I’m sure we’ll make lots of new friends that can help us figure out what happened to the diplomats,” I said.“Your conviction is appreciated,” Caprica said. "The wyverns should be ready to take off within a few hours. I know it’s on short notice, but I think that haste might be more important here than caution.”“That’s okay, we’re always ready for adventure, right girls?”Awen was finally looking awake, and Amaryllis just made a vague so-so gesture in the air.I pouted. So much for that. “Well, I’m always ready, in any case. Just let me get Weedbane and... do you think we’ll have time to prepare a lunchbox or two?”“Of course,” Caprica said. “I’ll have the cooks prepare a meal that you can carry with you. We’ll have some packs with ready-to-eat-meals as well. They’re... frankly barely edible, but they keep for a long time and do provide all of the nutrition you need. Perhaps you can even just bring a normal soldier’s kit with you. It will have everything you need.”“And will paint them as coming from Sylphfree,” Stephania pointed out idly.“Ah, that is true,” Caprica said. “I’m not well-versed when it comes to this kind of subterfuge.”Stephania nodded. “Even Gabrielle is subtler than you.”Gabrielle giggled. “No one expects the Gabquisition!” she said before her giggles cut off with a cough. She still laughed though, even as Caprica patted her back.“Right, once you’re done with breakfast, you can head out to the Wyvern Tower, that’s where you’ll find the wyvern knights and Paladin Bastion, who is no doubt dutifully waiting for us.”“I can’t wait,” I said.Awen and Amaryllis both perked up a little too. I think they were almost as excited to fly on wyvern back as I was!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Six — Introductions are in Order
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Six — Introductions are in Order The carriage rattled and shook as we rode up towards the edge of the city. Not one of the sections that hung off the side of the mountain, or even towards one of the many ports surrounding Goldenalden. No, we were heading up, towards the taller parts of the city where it more or less disappeared into the mountain.Even after just twenty minutes of riding along steep switch-back roads, I could tell that the air had grown just a little bit thinner. It was certainly colder. Awen was stuck between Amaryllis and I with a heap of blankets on top of herself, and she was still shivering a little.I shifted around and wrapped an arm over her shoulder. “There, that’ll warm you up a little,” I said.“Thank you,” Awen said.“You know, it’s only going to get colder once we’re in the air,” Amaryllis noted. “And the air will only grow thinner.”“I’m used to it onboard a ship,” Awen said. “But being stationary makes it different somehow. Also, I don’t think we usually flew all that high with the Beaver.”I grinned. “I’m kind of excited about this. Last time, when we flew with Rhawrexdee, I could barely tell what was happening. I spent the entire flight focusing on not falling off his back.”Amaryllis gave me a look. “You’re so reckless,” she said.“I’m sure the sylph have a bunch of safety precautions. They seem like very safety-minded people,” I said.“Yes, probably because they had a few people like you in their ranks before they slipped out of the population,” Amaryllis said.I harrumphed at her. “You know, what you’re doing now isn’t legal here.”“What?” Amaryllis asked, her grin shifting away in place of confusion. “What are you talking about?”“Being so smug isn’t allowed here.”“I doubt they made a law about it,” Amaryllis said, rather smugly at that.“It’s called smuggling, and it’s not allowed.”Amaryllis stared at me, then she looked to Awen. “Can we switch seats? I need to smack Broccoli around a bit.”We tussled a bit, filling the carriage with laughter and Awen’s squeaky giggles. Eventually though, the carriage rolled to a stop and we all paused to look out and see what was going on. We were at a gatehouse that blocked the roadway. It was manned by a single young sylph dressed in an ill-fitting guard’s outfit. He spoke to the carriage driver, and we were let through.Our carriage circled around a driveway next to a tower that stuck out from the mountainside. It reminded me of the old palace where the summit had taken place. This had to be a place built with magic. There was careful stonework on the outside, but the rearmost wall seemed to almost melt into the mountain itself.“I suppose this is it,” Amaryllis said. She pushed the door open, peeked outside, then jumped out.Awen shed her blankets and did the same, with me following right behind her.“I guess we go to the tower,” I said with a gesture to the building in question. There were a few other places nearby, newer looking barracks and a warehouse with a tin roof, but there didn’t seem to be too much going on up here.“I’ll be heading back down, as ordered,” the carriage driver said. “Do you need any help with your things?”I shook my head, jumped up onto the back of the carriage, and then tossed our stuff down to Awen and Amaryllis who caught all of our gear. We didn’t have all that much. A few tools, some weapons, and packs that Caprica had found for us with survival meals and tents and such.After saying goodbye to the carriage driver, we started towards the tower only for the front doors to glide open, letting a few sylph to spill out. One of them was immediately recognizable.“Bastion!” I cheered.The paladin smiled. “Hello, Broccoli. Awen, Amaryllis,” he greeted with a nod to my friends. He planted his feet in place so that my hug wouldn’t bowl him over, patting my back with a chuckle. “It hasn’t been that long, I don’t know if I deserve such treatment.”“Of course you do,” I said as I backed out of the hug. “You’re a friend and I haven’t seen you in over three hours, that’s enough reason for a proper hugging. It’s been days. So much happened!”Bastion conceded the point with a nod. “I suppose we have all been rather busy,” he said. He half-turned to gesture to the two sylph that had come out with him. “Let me introduce my companions here. This is Menos Salvonote, and Winnow Underwing.”Menos was a very young sylph knight with a breastplate that looked a tiny bit too big for his chest. He was otherwise wearing a leather uniform, with fur ruff at the neck and sleeves and I think around the holes for his wings. He nodded, which made the leather and plate cap on his head (with big goggles) bounce a bit. “Pleasure,” he said.“Hello,” Winnow replied. She was older and just a pinch shorter than Bastion, with a serious set to her brow but bright eyes that seemed curious and happy. She had the same sort of gear on as Menos, though she lacked the breastplate and cap.“These are ladies Awen Bristlecone and Amaryllis Albatross, and this is Captain Broccoli Bunch,” Bastion introduced us. Amaryllis nodded curtly and Awen gave them a little wave. “Captain Willow and knight Menos here will be the ones escorting you to the Trenten Flats.”“Oh?” I asked. “You’re both... what do we call people who fly on wyverns here?”“Wyvern knights,” Menos said. It was clear he was pretty proud of his job. “The few and the brave. The kings of the open skies.”Winnow chuckled. “We’re hardly the kings of the sky. We are knights though, which ought to suggest a certain pattern of behaviour.” The last was very pointedly aimed right at Menos, who straightened.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.I nodded along. “That sounds really cool. Will we be flying together? Two to a wyvern?”“That was the plan, yes,” Bastion said. “It’s safer that way, and having someone inexperienced leading a wyvern, especially so far from the usual training airspace, is unwise.”“So, you’ll be adventuring with us again,” Amaryllis said to Bastion.The paladin nodded. “One more time, at least,” he said. “Though we are merely bringing you to your destination. It isn’t much of an adventure at all.”“Oh, don’t worry, there’s always plenty of things that can go wrong, monsters that can show up, and bad guys to fight,” I said.Amaryllis whapped me behind the head with her feathers. “Don’t go begging for trouble, Broccoli, the World is liable to give you more than you can handle.”I pouted at her back, but she was probably right.“Do you want to meet the wyverns?” Winnow asked. And just like that, she had all of my attention.We walked into the tower, which turned out to look more like an office building on the inside, with the first couple of floors obviously dedicated to all the paperwork and bureaucracy needed to take care of a group of wyvern knights.“This is the Goldenalden tower,” Winnow said. “We have one of these towers next to most important cities, and there are a few more dotted here and there across the mountains, some in secret locations, others out in the open.”“How many wyverns are there?” I asked.“You mean those bred in captivity? Fewer than a thousand. Half of those aren’t ever going to be used for any sort of fighting. We do have couriers and other jobs for those wyverns who don’t pass the training to become aerial combat wyverns,” Winnow explained.“What about in the wild?” Awen asked.“Far fewer,” Winnow said. “Unfortunately, wyverns are a threat to lone sylph and even smaller airships. They’ll avoid cities unless something has disturbed them, but they’re still a threat. The only wild flights are far to the north and east where settlements are sparse and there’s no real air-traffic.”That was a little sad, but probably understandable. We continued to climb up the stairs while Winnow told us more about the wyverns. They were apparently gluttonous eaters if you let them. They were also lizards, so they were cold blooded and really enjoyed a bit of warmth. It was one of the rewards they gave to a well-behaved wyvern, so we didn’t need to panic if we saw a knight spraying one with some magical fire.We reached the top of the tower. One half of the room was a ramp leading up onto the flat roof, where I imagined wyverns could take off. The rest of the tower pushed into the mountain and was filled with big pens with metal bars between them.Wyverns slept within those, and I started to feel nervous about our flight for the first time. They were so big! Each wyvern had a pen big enough that we could have parked the Beaver within it if we were willing to squish it in a little.A wyvern raised its head up from the bed of straw it was resting on and watched us walk past. Its head was taller than I was, ears and all. It could have chomped me in half if it wanted to, I think.“We’ll be taking Bloodfang, Greencrest, and Little Doug today,” Winnow said.I blinked. “Those are the names of the wyverns?” I asked.She nodded. “They are. They should be saddled up for us already, but we’ll go and meet them first. It’s good form to get them used to your smell and what you look like before a flight. Especially since none of you are sylph. You’ll look and smell different from what they’re used to.”We stopped by Little Doug’s cage first, and Menos stepped up and opened a slim door in the cage and stepped in without hesitation.Little Doug had a chest bigger around than the carriage we used to get to the tower, and was as long as the Beaver Cleaver was wide. “Hey there, little guy,” Melos said as he patted the wyvern’s snout.“Why is he called Little Doug?” I asked.“Oh, he was the runt,” Winnow said. “Almost failed every test. By all rights he shouldn’t have been trained any further, but we discovered that he’s one of the most soft and docile wyverns we’ve raised. Not optimal for an aerial combattant, but he doesn’t mind new knights flying on him. So he’s the training mount for a lot of newer knights and when we need to escort VIPs around, Little Doug’s the wyvern to go to.”“Oh,” I said. So he was just a friendly little guy. I liked him already!“He seems nice,” Awen said.“Good, then you can ride on him with Knight Melos. Go on in, he’ll show you how to greet Doug, and then we’ll have some of the stablehands load your gear up,” Winnow said.A wide-eyed Awen was ushered into the wyvern’s cage. She stood back for a bit, but Awen was quite brave when she wanted to be (and the situation wasn’t a social one) so she walked over to the wyvern and gave it her hand to sniff as if it was a big dog.“A Wyvern’s sense of smell isn’t great,” Winnow said. “But their eyesight is second to none. Their hearing is awful, but enough that they can hear orders.”“How long have you been working with them?” I asked as we continued on.“Oh, nearly a decade now. Which is a long time for a wyvern knight. It’s very much a young person’s career.”“How long do wyverns... work for?” I asked.“Three, maybe four decades,” Winnow said. “Depending on injuries and how gracefully they age. We train them to be used to multiple knights, but they do have favourites. Come, this is Greencrest, Sir Bastion will be flying her.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Flight of the Wyverns
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Flight of the Wyverns “You’re a good little almost-dragon, aren’t you? Yes you are! Yes you are!” I cooed to Miss Greencrest the wyvern. The big beastie’s emotions were hard to read. It didn’t have as expressive a face as most mammals, or even the few dragons I’d met, but I think Miss Greencrest was still quite happy with the way I scritched her under the chin if the way she pressed into the attention was any indication.“She seems to like you,” Winnow said. “That’s good. Paladin Bastion will be flying with her, you can ride along with him.”“Oh? I don’t mind which wyvern I fly with. They all seem very sweet and friendly. Isn’t that right, Miss Greencrest? Do you want to be my friend?”GreencrestDream: To fly and huntDesired Quality: Someone who will give her meatI chuckled, then glanced around. There was a bucket in the central corridor with a metal lid above it having the words Bones and Gristle painted on the side. I bet those were snacks. “Can I give her a treat?” I asked.“Certainly,” Winnow said. “But she’ll have to be saddled in a moment, so do so quickly. And take care not to have your hand snipped off.”“Okay!” I said.Winnow led Amaryllis to another cage deeper in where the third wyvern we’d be flying was located. Bloodfang, who was a big boy of a wyvern with reddish scales. The wyvern bumped his head against the cage as Winnow approached, looking pretty excited to see the knight.I got a honking big chunk of meat for Greencrest, who gobbled it up greedily while the other wyverns in the cages around us looked on with jealousy (I did want to give them all snacks, but I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to do that. Maybe they were on a specific diet?). Then I had to leave her cage as a group of pages and squires came around with harnesses and nets and big leather pieces that they started to strap over Greencrest.The other two wyverns were being prepared too. I noted that the barding had chainmail between layers of padding and leather. It covered a lot of the wyvern’s sternum and ribs, and they had a sort of metal helmet that fit around their heads, giving them a fearsome appearance.The saddle was at the front, just above the wyvern’s wing joints. There was a lot of flexible material there, probably so that the wyvern could move their wings unimpeded. The seats looked like they were padded, but I suspected it wasn’t going to be super comfy.The door to Little Doug’s cage was opened and Melos led the wyvern out with Awen clutching onto the saddle while the wyvern moved with careful grace. A few more squires approached with some last bits of equipment that were probably tricky to fit while the wyvern was still in its enclosure.Greencrest was let out next. I moved back so that I wouldn’t be in anyone’s way and I watched as the wyvern slithered out of her cage, then allowed the sylph working with the wyvern knights to equip her properly. Allowed, because I had no doubt that things would be quite different if she didn’t want to be fussed over.The wyverns all had thick, corded muscles just beneath their scaly-cool skin, especially along their backs and flanks. I walked over to Greencrest’s front with another snack, then I patted the wyvern on the snoot while she munched through what I suspected was a goat’s femur bone.“Will you need a hand climbing aboard?” Bastion asked.He had changed a bit while I wasn’t paying attention. He still wore his shiny paladin breastplate, as well as its greaves and vambraces, but he had removed most of the rest of his armour. The sylph around him were acting a bit more carefully now that he was there.“I think I can manage,” I said. “But we should probably wait until we’re outside?”He nodded. “Indeed,” he said before reaching up to Greencrest’s head and giving it a rub. We both had to step back as a squire stepped up apologetically and started to strap a helmet onto the wyvern’s head. There was lots of padding, and it looked custom made, so it was probably fairly comfortable.Another sylph passed by and handed Bastion a set of reins that led up to the bridle around the wyvern’s head. Once Greencrest was fully equipped, we started walking towards the exit, only I was stopped a few steps away. “Ma’am,” a young sylph in armour similar to Melos and Winnow said.“Yes?” I asked.“Ah, we have some equipment for you and your companions,” she said. “It was interesting, finding things in your approximate size-range.”“Will I need to change?” I asked with a tap to my breastplate.She shook her head. “No, no, the harnesses are meant to go over a knight’s armour, you’ll be fine. The overcoat will give you another layer. Trust me, you’ll appreciate it unless you happen to have self-heating magic.”“I don’t think I have any magic like that,” I admitted.The nice knight brought me aside to a small area with all sorts of other equipment, then she helped me into a harness made of tough leather straps. It ran around my chest and over my arms and between my legs, with parts strapped to my thighs and upper arms. There were lots of buckles that clinked and jingled, and I had to squish up my skirts to be able to fit into the bottom part of the harness.I probably looked a bit silly, but then the knight gave me a big coat made of some very long fur. It had slits for my arms and more slits so that we could access the harness buckles through the furry material.“Oh, this is cosy,” I said as I hugged myself. I was now the softest bun ever.“You’ll need it. It gets cold mid-flight, especially with any metal armour on,” the knight said. “Here, the caps aren’t fashionable, but they’ll keep your hair out of your face and the goggles will let you actually see.”You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.She handed me a leather cap with thick cloth pads around the outside of it. The inside was filled with more fur, and the front of the cap had a half-mask which could be buttoned up on one side to cover everything from my nose down. It even had goggles with thick glass. It was a good thing I didn’t wear glasses or else that bit would be tricky.I did encounter one big problem though. Or rather, two of them. “What do I do with my ears?” I asked.The knight blinked, then slowly looked up above my head. “Ah,” she said.A couple of minutes and a couple of holes later, I pulled the cap on tight, ears wiggling around out of the modifications we’d brought to the cap. “Thanks,” I said.New Skill Acquired: Wyvern RidingRank: DOh, that was neat!“No problem. Please make sure you’re well hooked onto the harnesses before you take off. It would shame us all if you were blown off your wyvern’s back mid-flight. Not to mention search and rescue missions aren’t any fun.”I nodded. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience anyone by splattering myself against the countryside somewhere.I left the room and a grinning Awen went in after me, then Amaryllis followed after her, led by another knight.“This isn’t going to be as quiet an event as I had wished,” Bastion said as I returned to his side.“What do you mean?” I asked.He gestured to the many sylph loitering around. They didn’t seem to have much to do anymore. Too many of them were sweeping the floor with brooms just to look busy. At least the place would be very clean if they continued to clean to be able to stick around.“Oh,” I said.“Oh indeed,” Bastion replied. “I think we’re all gaining a fair bit of attention. I had hoped that the mission would be discreet.”“Well, they don’t know where we’re going, do they?”“That’s true. Still, if the rumour goes around, it might reach the ears of someone who’ll feed it to the cervid, and when they get reports of your rather distinct group in the Trenten Flats it won’t be difficult to put two and two together.”“Is that a bad thing?” I asked.Bastion rubbed at his chin. “Not necessarily. Even if the right cervid learns about you, it doesn’t mean they’ll act in a way that would be detrimental. But that’s asking for the mission to go without a hitch. Never rely on your adversary doing what’s convenient for you.”"They're not really our adversary, though."“If you’re trying to talk sense into her, I’d just give it up as a lost cause,” Amaryllis said as she stalked over with a jingle of metal on metal from all the belts she wore.I blinked. That had been surprisingly mean of her. She was always a bit snarky, and didn’t mind calling me a moron but... “Are you nervous about flying?” I asked her.Her chest puffed out, feathers going poofy. “I’m part-bird, Broccoli, I’m hardly going to be nervous about flying.”“It’s okay to be a little afraid about something new,” I soothed her. “Flying like this is something you’ve never done. Well, besides that one time with Rhawrexdee, but that was different.” I nodded. “When I’m scared, I find that hugs make the scary feelings go away. Do you want a hug?”Amaryllis was glaring at me, but her puffiness had changed a bit in quality, and I think I had the measure of her. A moment later, she as much as admitted it when she huffed a ‘yes-you're-right-but-I'll-never-in-a-million-years-admit-it’ sort of huff.So I gave her a big tight hug and Amaryllis pretended that no one was watching as she returned it.“Oh, we’re doing hugs now?” Awen asked.She didn’t look the least bit nervous about the flight. Meeting so many new people might have made her a little nervous, but I think Awen was really excited about taking off and flying around.“Alright everyone,” Winnow said. “Everything’s packed up, last chance to reconsider.”“I think we’ll be okay,” I said.The knight nodded, and we followed her outside. The three wyverns we were going to ride were lined up to one side, their big talons gripping onto a set of logs bolted to the ground on the edge of the tower. Judging by all the scratches on the wood, those were where most wyverns launched from.Bastion fluttered up onto Greencrest’s back with a few flasps of his wings, then I hopped up behind him. There were a lot of buckles to clamp onto my harness, and we took our time making sure all of them were properly secured while a couple of sylphs packed our things away in big saddle bags near the wyvern’s flanks.“We’ll be flying at a brisk-but-easy pace,” Winnow called out over the wind. “Nothing showy, understood Melos?”“Yes ma’am!” the other knight said.“Alright then.” Winnow tugged at Bloodfang’s reins and the wyvern growled eagerly even as he spread his wings wide. “Then let’s go!”I gasped as Greencrest spread her own wings, bunched her legs up, then threw us up and forwards.The wyvern’s wings flapped hard and fast, with great big whups that snapped out at every beat. My tummy did a little flip as we started to rise. Then we hit some sort of thermal and our slow rise became a lot faster.I laughed as we circled over the tower. Goldenalden was spread out below us, only the highest of the airships even with us.I heard Awen laughing too, and noticed Amaryllis’ very white face as she gripped onto knight Winnow atop Bloodfang.“Follow me,” Winnow shouted over the wind. And with that, we banked around and started across Sylphfree.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Successful Insertion
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Successful Insertion Flying wyvernback was awesome!It was also, I realised after a few minutes, a bit of a literal pain in the behind. The saddles we had were designed more to prevent chafing against the tough scales on the wyvern’s neck than to provide a soft cushion.The wyverns, or at least Greencrest, shifted their neck up and down slightly with every big, sweeping wingbeat, which meant that we were constantly moving in our saddles. The multitude of straps made a lot more sense; they kept us in place even as we were forced to shift with the wyvern’s movements.Bastion leaned down ahead of me, head lower so that he was almost hugging Greencrest’s neck, with a rein in each hand. I saw him glance back quickly, as if to make sure I was still here. “Are you well?” he asked.“Yuppers!” I called back against the blowing wind.“If you need to warm yourself, use fire mana. Though be careful with it, you could burn yourself internally or externally with it.”“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m from Canada.”I think Bastion didn’t quite understand what that meant, but he just shrugged and refocused on flying.We were in the middle of the formation of three. Ahead of us, Winnow and Amaryllis were pushing ahead with Bloodfang, and Little Doug took up the rear with Melos and Awen. if I understood things correctly, at some point we’d switch around, a new wyvern acting as windbreak for the others.“Are we faster than if we were on an airship?” I asked.Bastion shook his head. “Not really. A fast airship is faster than the fastest wyvern. The advantage with wyverns tends to be their mobility and size, as well as their acceleration. The average wyvern can fly circles around even the most manoeuvrable airship, and they’re much smaller targets. They’re discreet too.”“Discreet?”Bastion gestured to his ear. “Not nearly as loud as an airship. The wyvern knights are excellent at hunting down air and sea pirates, especially at night. A wyvern with a handler and a mage riding it can deliver a pretty heavy blow to a ship from angles where an airship might not be able to defend itself.”That made sense, I supposed. “Hey, can wyverns fly on airships?”Bastion shrugged. “It’s happened before. The wyvern knights have a ship or two in their employ that are built to house and launch wyverns, though they take up a lot of space and tend to dislike roosting onboard a ship, at least that’s what I understood from the experiments.”“That’s still kind of neat,” I said. I shifted my bum again to try and find a comfortable position. “How long will it take to reach our destination?” I asked.“We’ll be arriving by late afternoon or early evening,” Bastion said. “It’ll depend on the winds and weather. Though, the skies are predicted to be calm-we have stations all around the nation that report back to the capital, and some talented individuals have skills that let them predict the weather.”That sounded very useful. “I guess we’re using wyverns because they’re sneakier, otherwise it would be better to use an airship, right?” I asked.“This mission is supposed to be quiet, yes,” he replied. “Having a whole crew in on it would spread the news around a lot more. And airships are noticeable. The Trenten Flats aren’t the most observant, but they’ll see a ship landing on their territory.”We continued to fly, and after a while I tucked my hands into the big fur coat I’d been given to keep my fingers warm. I was regretting not wearing thicker shoes, or maybe just some boots, too. My toes were freezing. My ear-tips weren’t any better, especially as they flapped in the passing wind.It wasn’t all that bad though, and the slow trip gave me some time and plenty of reasons to practice circulating mana. I turned some of my raw mana into fire mana, then with a bit of help from Way of the Mystic Bun, I pushed it towards my feet, then my hands and back again, as if I was going to launch an attack then pulled back.The warmth was nice, thawing out my toes and warming my shoes.At the same time, I took in the passing scenery. The mountains of Sylphfree were quite beautiful. Dozens of peaks, all jammed in together with deep valleys between them. There were plenty of plateaus where little fields were growing, and I noticed a few villages next to rivers near the lowlands. Just little spots with maybe a couple of dozen homes, some fields, and maybe a mill by the river.They weren’t on any of the maps of Sylphfree I’d seen, but maybe they were too small to be noteworthy.I let my imagination run wild for a bit, putting myself in the shoes of some normal farmer living in a peaceful little town like that, barely more than a hamlet where you’d grow up knowing everyone, and where you’d dream of maybe visiting the city one day.Then I shook my head and recalled that I was currently riding what was basically a small dragon. Anything my imagination could come up with was objectively less cool then what I was currently doing.The flight continued on through the afternoon. My tummy protested a bit after so long without a snack, but I didn’t complain. I was glad I didn’t drink much before leaving either, we couldn’t exactly make a pitstop along the way.The sun was right overhead as we finally escaped the grasp of the mountainous terrain around Sylphfree. The land below dipped down into rocky crags, then levelled off, with only the occasional bumpy hill below. The world of ice and grey rock was replaced by verdant fields and open plains with a few clumps of trees growing where they could find respite from the wind.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.“See that little mountain to the north?” Bastion asked. He pointed to our right.“I see it,” I said. It would have been an impressive little mountain anywhere else, but with the Sylphfree mountains as a backdrop it was kind of underwhelming.“That’s Mount Goldshire. Once we’re past that to the west we’ll be looking for a place to drop you off.”I nodded. “Okay!” I said, since he couldn’t see me. “Any tips for when we’re in the Trenten Flats?”Bastion didn’t reply for a bit, thinking. “I know you like trusting people, but be careful with the locals. They’re superstitious, and they don’t trust strangers easily.”I’d have to win them over the hard way, then. I could work with a bit of a challenge, I was sure. “And what about our mission?”“Get to the fort, ask around,” Bastion said. “Then leave before you wear out your welcome. If it comes to it, you can likely divulge that you’ve come from Goldenalden. We don’t have excellent political or diplomatic ties with the Trenten Flats, but at worst, you will only be temporarily imprisoned.”“That makes it sound a lot more dangerous than I expected,” I admit. I was hoping for a fun time, not something overly dangerous. I knew there were risks, of course, but still.“You’ll be in a foreign land. Keep your guard up. And while you’re there, you might want to consider practising your magic and combat where you can. It’s a little late to hone those kinds of skills, but some added proficiency is better than none.”“Is the wildlife around here dangerous?” I asked.“Somewhat. Lots of large, predatory cats. Some very territorial land beasts, and a few nasty local creatures. There’s a kind of snake common to the region, and slimes are abundant during the right time of the year too. Stick to the roads if you want to avoid them, though that will mean that you’ll encounter more guard patrols than otherwise.”“Okay. We’ll do our best to stay safe. Or at least safe-ish.”Bastion glanced back. “You’re an honest girl, so I’ll take your word for it.”Our flight continued, though only for another half hour or so. Eventually, we started to circle over a particularly hilly bit of terrain. The wyverns shifted, then on Winnow’s command, we stooped downwards.I heard Amaryllis and Awen screaming, so I joined in too, arms loose above me as if I was on a big rollercoaster. The dive levelled off soon enough, then we skimmed over the top of a hill and the wyverns flared out their wings to arrest our momentum.With big meaty thumps, our rides landed at a run with their taloned feet racing below. Finally, we came to a full stop near the bottom of a valley nestled between a few hills.“Alright, let’s unbuckle you,” Bastion said.I helped him undo the clasps holding me in place, then once I was free, I leapt off of Greencrest’s back and landed with bent knees next to the wyvern. “Thanks for the ride,” I told her as I gave the underside of her chin a proper scritching.The wyvern huffed contentedly at my face and I had to wipe off some drool with a bit of cleaning magic.My friends were dropped off too, and we started to collect our equipment. Mostly those were backpacks with plenty of survival stuff and of course our various weapons and other things. I slipped out of my harness, then handed that back to Bastion who stuffed it into one of Greencrest’s saddlebags.“This is the last we’ll see of each other for a couple of days, I think,” Bastion said. “If I don’t hear back from you for more than that, then I’ll start looking for any major signs of trouble. Burnt down villages, destroyed dungeons, that sort of thing.”“I’ll be sure to leave a super-obvious trail if we’re in trouble,” I said.“That is less reassuring than you probably thought it was,” Bastion said.I grinned up at him. “I’m kidding,” I said. With a little hop to reach him up in the saddle, I gave my sylph friend a quick good-bye hug. “Stay safe too, okay Bastion?”“Always,” he said.“And watch over Caprica while we’re off. I bet she gets lonely.”“I’ll see what I can do,” he replied.And with that, I rejoined my friends. Amaryllis was fixing her feathers back into place-the long flight had mussed them up-and Awen was swapping out her loaner fur coat for her regular blue trenchcoat.“Are the both of you ready?” Amaryllis asked.“I think so. Where are we heading to?”Awen pulled out a small compass, then tugged a folded up map from her pack. “Awa, I think we’re about... here. Which means that if we’re going to Fort Middlesfaire, we need to go west and a little bit south.”Amaryllis glanced at the map, then the compass, then she stood taller and looked westward. “I noticed a river that way while we were in the air. It’s quite a ways off. We’ll need to find a way to cross it, fortunately, it should thin out to the north.”“Then we go around?” I asked.“That would be a start,” she replied.The three of us paused as our friends took off without much said other than a few heavy wingbeats from the wyverns.“Okay,” I said as they became distant specks above. “Let’s get started?”“Yes. The sooner we move away from here, the better,” Amaryllis said. “Someone might try to investigate the area if they saw the wyverns coming down.”“And we need to find a place for a camp, soon,” I pointed out.“So soon?”“Well, I don’t know about you two, but I’m real hungry, and we flew right past lunch time, literally!”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Campground Ladies
Chapter Three Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Campground Ladies We didn’t end up setting camp so much as we just found a comfy-enough spot to rest and rummage through our packs for food. We had a bunch of Sylph rations that came in enclosed packages made of something like wax-paper with a few simple instructions written on the side.The ready-to-eat meals were... edible.On opening one of them (vegetable lunch, it was called!) I found a couple of little tin boxes and a small pouch with some water in it. The instructions said to pour the water into one of the little boxes, then apply some fire-aspect mana to the circle on the side of the box.After doing what it said, I discovered that the box had little wires in it that conducted the heat through the package and warmed up its contents, producing a sort of stout soup with veggies and pasta.The meal was fun to prepare, and a lot less fun to eat.I think some of the metal might have rubbed up against the veggies because they tasted like tin.“Well, that was an experience,” Amaryllis said as she chucked the meal package aside.I shook my head at the casual littering and picked the tin up. In the end, we dug a little hole and shoved all of our waste into it. Amaryllis claimed that it was a good idea to mask our tracks a bit.With a glance at one of our provided maps, and with another look at Awen’s compass, we aligned ourselves westward and headed off again.We knew we weren’t going to make it too far, it was midafternoon already and Fort Middlesfaire was quite a ways to the west and around a little river, so we wouldn’t make it there today no matter how fast we walked.The hilly landscape levelled off after a while. That really just meant that there were fewer hills, but each hill was much broader, like a huge grassy plateau with drooping sides that were a bit of a pain to climb up.The grass reached up to mid-thigh, whipping against my legs with every step. It was actually kind of nice though. At some point we crossed through a huge patch of wildflowers, all of them white with pretty yellow dots in their centre. The air was filled with their perfume, and happy little bees bumbled past, fat with pollen.My friends and I chitchatted as we walked along; there wasn’t much else to do out in the open fields. All it took was a quick glance around to prove that we were all alone. Amaryllis went over the political implications of what had happened recently and tried to imagine what various factions would do now, Awen, when it was her turn, talked at length about her ideas. She was planning on building a wyvern-inspired flying machine one day, one fitted with a bunch of repeating crossbows and maybe some rocket-propulsion.With all of our talking, the day slipped by. We’d done enough long-range trekking that I think our legs were going to be fine, but to someone unused to it, the long walk might have been exhausting.By the time the sun was starting to set, we’d crossed a good chunk of the distance between our landing spot and Fort Middlesfaire.“That’s the river,” Amaryllis said with a wing over her head to shade her eyes.“Looks like there are some trees around it,” I said. “Should we camp near the bank?”“If we can find a high, flat spot to set up our tents, I don’t see why not. We’ll be able to gather some kindling at least,” Amaryllis said.We climbed up one last hill, then down the other side towards the riverbank. Being tucked between the hillsides provided the river with shelter from the wind, which meant that the trees growing around there had plenty of water and sun and not too much wind pushing against them.My friends and I found a spot where a few big flat stones stuck out of the hillside. Someone had used the place to camp before, because there was a fire pit dug into the rocks and an old lean-to made of branches had been left off to one side. It had fallen apart, and the leaves on the branches had blown away, but it was a clear sign that someone had passed here once.Our packs had little tents, but instead of erecting three of them, we decided to snuggle up into a single one. It would be warmer and the tents were all a mess of poles and ropes and pins that had even Awen confused and frustrated.While she set that up, Amaryllis and I scoured the area for fallen branches and twigs. Soon enough, we had a nice big pile of them. I used some cleaning magic to wash out the fire pit (after removing some charcoaled wood from the bottom) which uncovered a little tunnel dug into the bottom of the fire pit.“That’s to suck in air from below,” Amaryllis said. “Look, the other hole’s right here. I think a firepit like this will create less smoke too.”She might have been right. Once we got a fire started, it didn't create all that much smoke. I had fun plugging up the hole with my palm, then popping my hand off the entrance to see the fire shift.We ate more rations, fished out some blankets from our packs to keep our backs warm, and then stared at the starry sky above through the faint sheen of smoke rising from our fire.We drew straws to decide the watches — Awen was first, then poor Amaryllis in the unenviable middle watch, and myself for the last slot.I guess all that walking had tired me out more than I expected, because almost as soon as I snuggled in next to Amaryllis and closed my eyes, I fell into a deep slumber.I was awoken a few hours before the dawn by a grumpy Amaryllis shaking me awake. Sometime in the night, she had managed to swap places with Awen without disturbing me, and now I did the same, vacating my warm bedding for the cool of the night.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.Nothing much happened. I kept the fire company in the morning and got my tea stuff out as well as some rations that I cooked over the fire. A few curious birds gathered on some of the nearby trees to watch us prepare for our morning trek.“We’re going to have to go north along the river, I think,” Amaryllis said between bites. She had the map on her lap and was occasionally glancing at the river while a talon-tip traced a path.I looked through the sparse trees between us and the river. It was pretty wide, maybe as wide as a hockey rink was long, and the water was moving along at a steady clip. There’d be no jumping across that, and I didn’t trust that I could swim across easily, especially not with all of our gear.“Alright, let’s find a spot where we can cross, then. Maybe there’s some shallower parts downstream.”Amaryllis nodded. “The river will end eventually. But I think we should move upstream, not down, at least if we hope to ford it and not end up at a lake.”“Oh,” I said. That made sense.Once the tent was taken down and we’d packed everything away, we started off along the river’s edge.The morning walk was fun. I got to see a fox who scampered away when we got closer, and there were a bunch of long-legged heron-like birds with bright green plumage standing very still on the river bank, only moving their long necks when they spotted a fish darting below the water.We had to cross a few streams that joined into the river, most of them were small enough that we could just step over, but a few were wide enough that we needed to splash through or carefully walk across some logs that had been put in place by previous travellers.By early afternoon, after stopping for a break in the shade of a big willow-y tree for a snack, we were all quite sweaty and a little tired.I offered to use cleaning magic on my friends, but wiping away sweat was going to make it much harder to deal with the heat.I think that after spending a week or so in the cool weather around Goldenalden, we’d gotten so used to the cold that the moderate warmth of the Trenten Flats was really hard to deal with.“How far do we have to go, still?” I asked as I knelt next to the river and splashed some water against my face.“Not too far, I don’t think,” Amaryllis said. “Here, can you fill this?”She handed me her waterskin, and I dutifully filled it up with river water, then pushed some cleaning magic into it to clean out anything too icky. Fish pooped in that water, after all.Amaryllis’ predictions ended up proving true. An hour or so later, with the river thinning down until I could almost just jump across, we came upon a little village.There was a squat wall around it, only about as tall as I was, with maybe two dozen homes on either side of the river. A bridge crossed the water, and further into the town was a long building with a mill and big stacks of wood cut lengthwise next to it. A sawmill, maybe?The homes looked like pretty cottages, with wooden walls and thatched roofs with chimneys poking out here and there.“Do you think they’ll have an inn?” I asked.“Doubtful,” Amaryllis said. “It doesn’t look like all that many people live there. We’re on the frontier here, far from the centre of the Trenten Flats, this is hardly a metropolis.”“Ah, maybe they’ll have a general store, at least,” Awen said. “We could buy fresher food. Our rations are meant to be kept for a long time, but they’re not very tasty.”I nodded. “And I want to meet the locals too. Maybe they’ll know something about the ships we’re looking for?”Amaryllis shrugged. “If we can’t use their bridge, we’ll have to go all the way around. No harm in stopping by, I suppose.”Grinning, I bounced ahead of my friends, flaring out a bit of Cleaning magic to freshen up. I hardly wanted to meet new friends while stinky and dirty. We reached the edge of the town’s walls and found well-ploughed fields with irrigation ditches running all the way over to the river. There wasn’t much growing except for some tiny hand-high sprouts of... something set a few centimetres apart.Going around the fields, we made it to a big gate that was left wide open. The town’s roads looked like they were shaped like an H. There were two roads with houses on either side, then the bridge in the middle of the town joined the two halves together.When my friends and I walked in, we immediately became the centre of attention.Cervid paused on the street, with some of them, especially the younger ones, running off to hide in their homes. No one called out to us or said a friendly hello, instead they watched us as if we were twenty-foot-tall monsters bent on eating all of them.Undaunted, I pushed on through. It looked like there was a store on the other side of the bridge, one right next to a smithy and what might have been a church of some sort.“Hello!” I called out to one cervid. A well-built man with a hat made of woven grass. He was carrying a stack of baskets which he dropped when I addressed him.“Warm welcome,” Amaryllis muttered.“Maybe they’re shy?” I asked.“You!”I spun around at the voice. It came from an older cervid lady, one carrying a cane which she was using to point right at me. “Hello?” I tried.“You! Strangers!” She barked. “You’re the ones who kidnapped my son!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty — Smother
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty — Smother “I’m sorry ma’am, but I think you’ve made a small mistake,” I said carefully. It wouldn’t do to insult a worried mom. The older cervid lady was clearly distressed. She was also gathering a crowd.Those cervid who’d previously been staring at us secretively and from the corner of their eyes now had an excuse to stare and they were using it to the fullest.The older cervid lady waved her cane around, then brought it down onto the wood of the bridge with a hard clack. She stomped forwards with only the slightest limp of one of her forelimbs. “Where’s my Deiter! What’ve you done with him?”I glanced to my friends, then back to the lady. “I’m sorry, miss, but I don’t know who Deiter is.”“My son!” she shouted. “My son that you fawnapped.”I pointed to myself. “Me? I’d never kidnap... okay, look miss, I haven’t kidnapped anyone today. If you need help looking for your son, then maybe we can help you? We’re pretty handy!”There was a lot of murmuring going on in the crowd of cervid around us, and I had the impression they weren’t overly happy with the scene going on. A lot of those mean looks were directed at us.The cervid lady stomped closer, raising her cane over her head. “Give me back my Deiter or I swear on the gods and the World that I’ll beat you myself!”I raised my hands before me, empty so that it was clear I didn’t mean any harm. “Miss, I don’t know who Deiter is. We didn’t kid — fawnnap anyone.The lady screeched and I winced as her cane came racing down.It smacked into Amaryllis’ outstretched talon with a meaty thwap. My friend closed her hand around the long wooden stick and an electrical arc snapped at the air. A moment later, the stick cracked apart at the middle, bits of wooden shrapnel flopping to the ground as the cane broke in half. “Ma’am, we are travellers passing through your town. Nothing more. Calm yourself,” Amaryllis said.That was a bit direct, but I suppose she had been about to smack me.“Fawnnappers! You heard the bird! She admits it!”“What?” Amaryllis snapped in stupefied amazement. “I did no such thing! Have you gone senile? You look too old by half to have a child!”The lady was a little more elderly, but that didn’t mean anything. Maybe she adopted?“Alright, alright, what’s going on here?” a deep voice said. An older cervid stepped up. He was tall and barrel-chested, with a bit of a paunch. I think, if he were a human, he’d have what they called a ‘dad bod.’ But he wasn’t human so I really wasn’t sure how to describe the cervid stepping onto the bridge. “Myrtle, what are you doing?”“They’re the ones who kidnapped Deiter!” the old fawn lady, Myrtle, said. She stabbed a finger at me and my friends with what was left of her cane. There were more murmurs from the crowd.The big cervid crossed his arms. “Alright. Do you have any proof?”“They’re strangers!” Myrtle said.“True,” he replied, his eyes turning towards us. “Do you have anything to say for yourselves, strangers?”“What?” Amaryllis asked. “That’s enough for you? Someone shows up who you don’t know and you just assume the worst of them? What kind of backwards uneducated hovel-filled heap is this?”The cervid snorted. “You seem to be making your own assumptions, miss,” he replied.Amaryllis’ mouth shut with a click.The cervid eyed us some more, then sighed. “Myrtle, how heavy is your son?”“What?” the older lady asked. “I don’t know. He weighs more than my old bones, certainly.”“I don’t believe these three waifs could carry him off, then,” he replied. “They’re too thin, and not nearly muscled enough to manage such a feat.”I wasn’t sure if I should feel insulted by that or not. I was plenty strong! Over a month of constant physical activity was doing great things to keep me in shape. I wasn’t sure if I could lift a cervid, but maybe if it was a small one?“We didn’t fawnnap anyone,” I repeated. “We’ve only just arrived in the area, following along that river. Besides, why would we fawnnap someone?”“To eat him!” the lady said.I blinked. “But I’m a vegetarian.”“It’s true that buns don’t eat meat,” the big cervid said. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Myrtle, I don’t see these youths being the ones to take your son out of the town. Still, I wonder what you three are doing here in Riverstart?”This place was called Riverstart? That was a very utilitarian name. “We’re members of the Exploration Guild,” Amaryllis said. She tapped her chest where she wore her Exploration guild pin. I had my own fixed to the strap of my backpack. I’d kind of forgotten about it, to be honest.“We’re pretty good at finding things,” I said, mostly addressing Myrtle. “If you want, we can look for your son, maybe?”“First you fawnnap him, now you’ll extort me to find him again?” she asked.“Damnation Myrtle, Deiter is twenty-nine summers old. He ought to be able to handle himself.”“Twenty-nine,” Awen muttered.I was a bit confused too. That sounded a bit old for a mom to be so worried. Then again, maybe that was normal? I wasn’t in Myrtle’s shoes. Or horseshoes, as the case may be.“Does it matter?” Myrtle asked. “Someone’s taken him! Half of his things were missing from his room!”“Wait,” Amaryllis said. She had her hands on her hips and didn’t look amused at all. “So your son was kidnapped, but he’s very much an adult, and he packed his things up before leaving? Were there any signs of a scuffle? Did anyone hear him being kidnapped? Who was the last one to see him?”Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.“I was!” A cervid on the sidelines spoke up. Everyone turned to him, and he wilted at all the sudden attention. “Ah, well, he was walking out towards the north with his saddles full. He said bye?”Amaryllis threw her arms up. “He wasn’t kidnapped, he ran away!”“He might still be in trouble though,” I said. “We could help.”“Broccoli, we’re only travelling through this town. We have business elsewhere. I know you love your detours and pointless stops, but we can’t help with every little problem we run across. Especially not when the problem comes from people who like to accuse others without any proof or reason.” That last part was very clearly aimed at Myrtle who bristled at the accusation.“You broke my cane! Everyone here saw that!”“You assaulted one of us! Everyone here saw that, too!” Amaryllis snapped back.“Alright, calm down, both of you.” The bigger cervid stepped up next to Myrtle and laid a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll figure out what happened to Deiter, Myrtle. Maybe we can set up a search party. Judging by the amount of people lollygagging here, we have plenty of fine cervid with nothing better to do. Now, you three. Are you really just passing through?”I nodded. “That was our intent, mister. We’re trying to head to Fort Middlesfaire, but we couldn’t find a place to cross the river.” I remembered that we were trying to be a bit subtle about what we were up to. “Uh, we might have gotten a bit lost?”“Hmm,” he said. “I’m Cody, what passes for a mayor in this fine little town. We can point you towards the fort if you want. We head over there every so often to trade. It’s a good day’s walk from here. Two if you leave at this hour.”I glanced up. It wasn’t noon yet, but it was getting closer to it. My tummy was also starting to feel a bit empty, which was as good an indicator of the time as any. “Is there an inn here?” I asked.“Sorry, I’m afraid not. We have a general store and a smithy that I run. That’s about the whole of it. Riverstart is mostly farmers, lumberjacks, and a few odds and ends. Good folk trying to make a life for themselves on the old frontier.”“Oh. Well, it looks like a very nice town,” I said.Cody regarded us for a moment, and I felt as though we were being judged. “Say, you’re Explorers, aren’t you? Do you think you could handle our Myrtle problem?”“What do you mean, Myrtle problem?” Myrtle asked, seemingly incensed. “I’m not a problem, my missing son is the problem!”“We don’t actually know that it’s an issue,” Amaryllis pointed out.“Ah, we might be able to ask around here about... you know, our diplomat problem,” Awen said. “Or maybe someone here knows someone who might know better in Fort Middlesfaire.”One of the mayor’s eyebrows perked. “What’s this then?”“Can we discuss this in a more private setting, perhaps?” Amaryllis asked. “I think we’ve entertained the town enough for one day.”Mayor Cody nodded, then gestured to the general store and smithy on the other side of the bridge. “Come, we’ll talk by the forge. I need to keep stoking it, anyway.”“What about my son?” Myrtle asked.“I’ll talk to these misses about it, Myrtle.”“They’re just children,” she snapped. “And girls besides.”Amaryllis puffed out. “And a minute ago you thought we were able to kidnap your son? Did your egg crack before you hatched, you-” I placed a hand over Amaryllis’ mouth, which didn’t stop her from ranting but it did turn her rather mean words into mumbles that no one could understand.“I think that maybe we should go our separate ways for now, Miss Myrtle,” I said. “It was nice meeting you... I guess?”I dragged Amaryllis across the bridge. My friend looked quite ready to smack the elderly cervid lady around, but I tugged her along before she could do anything regretful.“I am sorry about Myrtle. For what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone sensible in town will actually listen to her. We’ve seen her behaviour for long enough to be used to it. It’s good drama, which is hard to come by in these parts, and most folk don’t put much credit in what she says.”“Then why do you allow her to continue?” Awen asked.“What else are we to do? Kick her out of the town? She’s not healthy enough to be on her own, nor would it be honourable to leave a woman to fend for herself in the wilds. This may no longer be the frontier anymore, but it’s no less dangerous at times. Her son keeps her in line. Or did.”Amaryllis huffed. “He probably ran away from her.”“Good for him. Still, it would behoove us to make sure he’s well,” Cody said as we approached the blacksmith’s shop. The side was built with a big sliding door that was opened up into the forge itself. Even with such a big opening, the space around the forge was smokey. At least it smelled nice, like fire and leather and that weird smell that burning metal had. “So, what is it that the Guild sent you here to find?” he asked.It wasn’t quite accurate, but it was a good guess on his part. I wanted to correct him, but then held back. We were supposed to be subtle. Amaryllis spoke up before I could make up my mind. “An airship crashed in the region, and the owners of it would like to know where and how. So we were dispatched to explore the area.”Not quite the truth, but not entirely untrue."Huh." Cody scratched his chin, staring off into the distance. "Well, I think I know someone who might know a thing or two about that,” he said. “And it just so happens to be in roughly the direction I think Deiter went in.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-One — Fortune Seeker
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-One — Fortune Seeker “Where are you thinking of sending us?” Amaryllis asked. She sounded suspicious, which I supposed was only fair.Mayor Cody rubbed at his cheek, then made a vague gesture off to one side. I assumed that he was pointing more in the general direction than to the back wall of his forge. “Northwards. North and west a ways. That’s the direction Deiter probably headed off in.”“What’s that way?” I asked.“Honestly, not very much. Most of the time, there’s nothing at all up North until you reach the badlands. Past that you’re in the Snowlandia. But every year there are big hunter gatherer groups that pass by chasing after the cockatrice herds.”“The what?” I asked. I’d never heard of a cockatrice before.The mayor shook his head. “Cockatrice. They’re these birds; though I’ve been told they’re related to dragons somehow. Big ugly things, usually covered in skin and nasty as sin. About as tall as any of you girls to boot.”That sounded like a lot of trouble. “Are they an issue?” Amaryllis asked.“Not usually. They avoid folk for the most part. They’ll fight if you get close to their nests, and you’ll want to avoid being anywhere near them during mating season. The males will pick a fight with anything that time of year.”“Deiter went to see the cockatrice?” I asked, confused. “I didn’t get that impression about him.”Cody snorted. “Nay, he likely went to see the harvester’s caravan. Cockatrice have all sorts of useful things to them. Feathers and the like. Well ... so I hear. It's not my line of business. People say you can't ranch them; can’t keep them on a farm. So, every year, the harvesters follow after them and grab what they can. It’s hard work, but it pays; from what I hear.”“Oh,” I said. “Do you think he joined them for work then?”“Possibly. A caravan stopped by here about three days ago. They needed the forge to whip up some new axle fittings for one of their wagons and they bought up a few supplies. I suspect Deiter got to talking to them and saw an opportunity to leave.”I nodded along. It made some sense, I imagined. “Alright. And you want us to go meet these harvesters?”“That’s up to you. I’d appreciate it though if someone checked on Deiter. Besides, you said you were looking for something out in the plains, weren’t you? No one better than the harvesters to ask. They range across the entire prarie chasing after the cockatrice.”“That’s... actually reasonable,” Amaryllis said. “If we do find Deiter though, how are we going to tell you about it?”“Honestly, just guilt him into sending his mother a letter. I understand his wanting to run off, trust me, but he owes her that much, I imagine,” Cody said.I considered things while Amaryllis asked Cody a few more questions, mostly about the area and if he’d seen any passing airships lately. It didn’t look like she’d find the answers she was looking for, but that was okay.We were heading to Fort Middlesfaire to find out if anyone had seen the diplomatic convoy of airships. From what I remembered of its trajectory, it was supposed to pass far to the north of the fort, not over it. It was unlikely anyone at Fort Middlesfaire could have spotted the ships, but we were assuming that others might have and that they'd have told people at the fort.On the other hand, these harvesters were to the north, where the ships likely had passed.“How far north are the harvesters?” I asked.Cody shrugged. “I can’t rightly say. They were here two days ago, but that wasn’t the main group of them, just a few that came down for supplies. Maybe a day’s trot to the north? A little more, perhaps.”I glanced at my friends and didn’t see a consensus there. “Well, I’m down to try it,” I said. “It’s in the direction we’re supposed to be looking in anyway, and they might have seen something. How long do the harvesters stick around for?”“Two, maybe three weeks,” Cody said. “That’s how long it takes them to scout their surroundings and grab what they can. Mostly it’s cockatrice feathers from right after their moult, some meat from hunting and there are usually a good number of herbalists along too.”If they had been there for a week already, then they might have seen the airships! “If we run into Deiter I promise we’ll tell him to send a letter back, or maybe he can come back himself,” I said.“Thank you,” the mayor said. “Now, you said you were heading off towards the Fort. Do you need any supplies for the route?”“We have some things,” I said.“Bah, come, we have fresh bread and you’ll want to refill your canteens for the road. We have well-water here that’s less likely to sicken you than water from the river. Not that the river’s water is bad.”Cody led us into the little general store which, while it had a high ceiling, wasn’t all that spacious. They had a few essentials though, and we did end up picking a few things. There was indeed bread which smelled much nicer than anything in our sylph food packs and little bags of nuts and locally-picked berries which Cody explained were pretty commonly found along shaded riverbanks in the plains.We paid for everything, and I suspected that the price was much lighter than it should have been. Was Cody repaying us for the kerfuffle with Miss Myrtle earlier?With everything packed away, we slipped out of Riverstart just as easily as we’d entered the little town. We still got a few stares, but they were more curious than hostile now that we were escorted by the mayor. “Have safe travels,” he called to us.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.“Bye bye!” I shouted as I waved at him from some ways down the packed dirt road.The midafternoon sun slanted down on us as we trekked down the path. After a few minutes of walking, Amaryllis spoke: "I'm inclined to veer north. The harvesters there might know something, but even if they don’t, we’ll at least intercept the route the airships took. We can likely swing around and follow their path for a while. If the ships crashed, we might be able to discover them,” Amaryllis said.“I don’t mind wandering around aimlessly for a while,” I said. “It’s fun as long as you’re with friends.”Amaryllis shook her head.The break at Riverstart had been enough to recharge our batteries. Just not walking for an hour had been nice, though I could have used a sit. We continued vaguely northward, heading off the road with Awen occasionally pulling out her compass to point us back in the right direction.It was hard to walk in a straight line once we were out of the little woods around the river. Sure, there wasn’t much around us, just sweeping hills and open plains, but somehow we always ended up going just a little bit off course.I was sure that if we plotted out our trajectory on a map, it would look zig-zaggy the entire time.When my tummy started to rumble later on, and I noticed that the sun was starting to dip towards the horizon, I asked my friends if we should find a place to relax and grab a bite to eat. Amaryllis pointed ahead to a small patch of trees on the down-wind side of a hill. Just four trees with wind-bent trunks and swept branches.We made it there and sat down with our backs to a tree. Awen split apart a loaf of bread and we shared it between us with some cheese and a small jar of very sweet preserves from our sylph rations. “How much further do you think we can go today?” I asked.“Not very,” Amaryllis said. “We have another two hours of sunlight. I’d rather not waste those. We’ll just need to keep an eye out for a good spot to set up camp.”I nodded as I chewed.“Ah, do you think there’s anything dangerous around here?” Awen asked.“Cockatrices should be plenty dangerous,” Amaryllis said. “I suspect we could take one on with the three of us working together. If we see a group of them though, walking away might be the wisest course.”“What’s a cockatrice anyway?” I finally asked.Amaryllis entered lecturing mode. “A cockatrice is a large draconic bird. They’re primarily omnivorous and will mostly subsist on grains and grasses and seeds, though they’ll hunt down any small creature they come across too. Think rabbits and foxes and flying birds. They’re relatively large, with great talons and... strange beaks.”“How strange?” Awen asked.“They have teeth,” Amaryllis said. “At least, the females do. The males have sharper, longer beaks. At least, I believe that’s the case. We don’t have any in the Harpy Mountains, so what I’m saying is mostly coming from what I've read. Their main weapon though is their eyes. If a cockatrice locks eyes with you, you’ll freeze up. I believe the bigger, more powerful ones have more powerful gazes. Some can turn you to stone in an instant.”“That’s terrifying,” I said.“Fortunately, those have likely all been hunted down. Cockatrice parts are valuable alchemical reagents and their meat is supposed to be a delicacy, especially the older, bigger ones,” Amaryllis said. “The current wild herds have been trimmed and hunted year on year for decades now; I doubt they’re as formidable as they once were.”I shook my head. “That doesn’t sound good. They’ll hunt them to extinction if they go on for too long.”“I suppose,” Amaryllis said. She didn’t seem terribly bothered by the idea. “Anyway, it needed to be done. The cervid have large overland caravans that loop around the northern end of the Harpy Mountains towards their western frontier. They do some trade with the independent cities there and Snowlandia as well. The Cockatrice were a threat to those caravans, once.”We finished up our late lunch, got up, then headed out once more.The day was really nice for a walk. The skies were nearly empty of clouds except for a few white wisps far, far above, and the sun was warm on our faces. There was a brisk wind coming from the north that kept us cool despite the sunlight. It was very much appreciated.Walking up hills all day was a chore, but it was wholesome exercise and it meant that the route down the hills would be all the easier later.We chit-chatted about nothing with great enthusiasm until the hour grew late and we all grew quite tired. The hills had grown smaller and the grass taller as we headed north. We couldn’t find a spot with any trees or even a stream, so we ended up settling down in a spot where a few large boulders would cut the wind.There was nothing to burn, so we didn’t get to build a fire, but Amaryllis was good with magic so she warmed things up for us while Awen and I struggled with the tent.We ate with our backs to the boulder. Somehow, Awen convinced Amaryllis to tell stories about her sisters, then we talked about our schooling. Explaining how school worked back home was weird, but my friends had had very different sorts of education.And then it was bedtime.I took the first watch, sat atop the boulder, and watched the plains fade to utter darkness with only my one tiny magical light ball for illumination. In that breathtaking stillness, I lost myself in the glittering sea of stars until Amaryllis came to replace me.So far, our trip had gone pretty well. I was looking forward to the next day!
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Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Two — Meat New People
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Two — Meat New People I liked taking the first watch because it let me sleep uninterrupted until it was time to wake up. Plus, I didn't really feel like cooking.I did my part, and I don’t think either of my friends were big fans of cooking, but we muddled along decently enough.So yeah, I wouldn’t admit it to my friends, but I was being a little bit selfish when I took first watch to avoid having to do morning chores. I felt a teensy bit bad about it too. Maybe we’d set up a rotation, that way I only had to do the breakfast stuff one day in three?Those were the kinds of hazy thoughts I was dreaming up when I felt Awen shaking my shoulder. “Mmm? Already?” I asked.“No, Broccoli, you need to wake up,” Awen hissed. “Amaryllis, you too, come on.”I blinked a few times. There was some urgency there, and I couldn’t smell any breakfast in the air. Had I been dreaming about skipping out on chores then? Why was Awen worried?I sat up, rubbed my face, then looked around. Early morning sunlight was staining the outside of the tent a pale blue. “What’s going on?” I muttered.“There’s someone here!” Awen whispered. “I saw them in the grass. They saw me too, I think.”“Oh,” I said. Then with a bit more urgency. “Oh!” Amaryllis was up too. My poor harpy friend had the middle watch, so she’d probably only had an hour of sleep, but she still moved fast.Awen snuck back out of the tent, grabbing her crossbow on the way out as well as a bundle of bolts.Night clothes flew around the tent as Amaryllis and I got dressed in a hurry. Usually we did that one at a time for privacy’s sake, but there was no time for that. I set down my breastplate with my gambeson still in it, then with a twist of mana near my tummy, made myself smaller.It was a neat trick I’d figured out for my new Proportion Distortion skill. I was now a good few centimetres shorter and thinner, which made it easy to slip into my armour, shove my hands through the armholes, then let go of the magic so that I returned to my normal size. I’d just saved myself a couple of minutes of strapping pieces on, and with a pulse of Cleaning magic, I wasn’t even gross from sweat and stuff!Amaryllis snorted as she shrugged her coat on, then she gestured to the outside of the tent. “How do you want to play this?”“We don’t know what’s out there,” I said. “Maybe it’s friendly?”“Ah yes, friendly people love sneaking up on others,” Amaryllis said as she walked out of the tent, talons still working to buckle on her strange harpy pants.I stumbled out after her, grabbing Weedbane on the way out and laying the still-folded scythe onto my shoulder. A glance around revealed... not much at all. There was still that large boulder right next to the place we’d chosen to camp at. It was serving as a decent windbreak, preventing the constant breeze across the plains from ripping our tent away. Around us were two hills with nothing much on them except for hip-high grass.Anything could be hiding in that grass.Or nearly anything, I supposed. Anything within a certain size range.“Where did you see them?” Amaryllis asked.“Just one person,” Awen said. She gestured with a nod to the west, the same direction the wind was blowing toward. “I saw them over there, maybe fifty paces away. They poked their head out above the grass then ducked back down.”“Any details?” I asked. “Was it a cervid?” That would have been impressive. Cervid were kind of tall, though I supposed they could be crouching. Or it could be a small cervid.Awen shook her head. “No. They were humanoid.”“Harpyoid,” Amaryllis corrected absently. I snorted, which earned me a look from Amaryllis but no comment.“Awa, I didn’t get a good look at them? They had a hat on. Like a brown hat with a wide brim. I didn’t see any weapons but they could have something.”“If all you saw was their upper torso then they could have anything. A bow, a sword, even a spear if it wasn’t raised,” Amaryllis muttered. "To say nothing of combat magic."“Or no weapons at all if they’re just friendly people,” I pointed out.Amaryllis huffed a sort of ‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ sort of huff. “Alright, well this is cutting into my sleeping time, so let’s get it over with.” Amaryllis took a deep breath. “We know you’re out there! If you want to cause trouble, come out and cause it. If you’re peaceful then you have nothing to worry about from us.”“I don’t?”All three of us jumped and spun around. There was someone standing on the boulder. Or maybe they were laying on it; all I could see was their upper body. It was a young woman, I think. She had a cowboy hat on, which cast a deep shadow over her face and a leather vest over her torso.She was also covered in beige fur and had a pair of ears squished down by the brim of her hat. And a bow. I couldn’t forget the shortbow currently pointed in our direction, even if the bowstring wasn’t drawn back.“Uh, hi!” I said.The young woman stared at me for a moment, then at my companions. She pointed to Awen. “Human person,” she said. Then she pointed to Amaryllis. “Talking chicken meat.” then she pointed to me. “Talking rabbit meat.”“Uh.”“Meat’s not supposed to wear clothes like people,” the cat-person said. She fiddled with the string of her bow, whiskers twitching even as she looked at us with narrowed eyes.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.“We’re not meat,” I said. “Well... okay, I guess technically we are.”“Broccoli,” Amaryllis warned.“No, that’s a vegetable, those are gross,” the furry-faced cowgirl said.I sighed. “Can we start this over? My name is Broccoli Bunch, these are my friends, Awen and Amaryllis. We’re from the Exploration Guild.”The person on the rock stared at us for a long moment before loosening her hold on the bowstring. “I’m Savan,” she said. “Hello, rabbit meat Broccoli and chicken meat Amaryllis. Also human Awen.”“Hello Savan,” I replied with a little wave. “What are you doing out here in the plains?”“Hunting for meat,” Savan said.I was really hoping she wasn’t adding us to the menu there because otherwise things might get a little awkward. “Well, we’re just camping here on our way north. We’re looking for a group that’s chasing after cockatrices that way.”Savan’s expression lit up. “Oh! The hunter caravan. I know where they are.”“You do?” I asked.She nodded. “They buy my meat.”“That’s great,” I said. “Um. I hope you understand that we’re not... meat, right? Because I’m sure they wouldn’t want to eat us. I’m very bony and Amaryllis here probably tastes sour.”“Pardon me, what does that mean, exactly?” Amaryllis asked.“See.”“She’s spoiled too,” Awen addedThat earned her a weak swat from Amaryllis and a muttered “Look who’s talking.”Savan laughed and lowered her bow fully. “It’s okay. Calamity told me not to shoot people that talk unless they shoot first or are rude. You’re not rude for meat, so I won’t shoot you.”“Great!” I said. “Did you have breakfast yet, Savan? I think Awen was about to start preparing something. We have enough to share with a new friend!”Savan AhDream: To eat so much meat she explodes, then napDesired Quality: Someone who’ll keep her fed and scratch her on that one spot next to her earsSavan seemed like a ... very simple kind of girl. She bounced down from her rock, revealing that she wore jeans-like pants dyed a pale brown that actually matched some of the more faded grass and tall boots. A quiver hung by her waist from a belt, with cloth stuffed between the arrows so that they didn’t rattle when she moved. In fact, I bet Savan had a few stealth skills because she hardly made a sound.“What’re we eating?”Awen was the one who replied, mostly by listing off what we have in our ration packs. Savan looked dubious about some of the options, but she lit up when Awen offered to warm up a can of salted meat paste for her.Amaryllis provided the heat and, since it was unlikely we’d get any more sleep, I got to packing up the tent and the rest of our stuff while Awen tended to the food under Savan’s watchful eye.“So, do you think you could lead us back to the hunter’s caravan?” I asked. “We’re looking for someone called Deiter, and also maybe some information, while we’re at it.”“I can do that,” Savan said. “But Calamity sent me out to hunt.”“Who’s that?” I asked. Once our stuff was packed away again I sat down on the grass next to Savan. “Also, if it isn’t mean... what are you, exactly? I’ve met all sorts of people, but you’re the first one like you I’ve met!”Savan laughed. “I’m a big cat. We come from around here, and I heard that there’s packs of us to the west too, across the mountains.”“Cat folk aren’t too uncommon,” Awen said as she tipped the pan onto some plates. It looked like she was preparing a big portion for Savan and a few smaller ones for the rest of us. Savan got my share of the meat, of course. “There’s a lot of differences in the... subspecies of them. I guess that’s what you’d call the different groups.”“Yup,” Savan said. She grinned as she took her plate and then, after searching inside her vest, she pulled out a small leather kit which she opened to reveal a few tools. Including a fork. She dug in with gusto right after. “Mmhm, there’s a lot of us here, and around the Flats. We hunt because it’s fun and do what we want because we can.”“Oh? Do you have your own nation?” I asked.Savan snorted. “As if.”“From what I recall the cat folk are notoriously... cat-like in their tendency to do whatever they want,” Amaryllis said.“They have a weird reputation,” Awen added. “Some people called them lazy-” Savan laughed at that while nodding. “-but some of them are really hard workers. They don’t really do... bosses and such.”“Oh, we will,” Savan said. “I work for people all the time! But only if I like them. I like you. You gave me meat. Want to hire me? I kill things good.”I held back a giggle of my own. “Maybe we can trade the food you’re eating for your help in getting us to the caravan? We might get lost otherwise.”Savan shrugged. “Okay. I don’t ever get lost, so I’ll show you how to get there.” she nodded while her tail, which was long and whippy, flicked from side to side behind her.I’d spent enough time with Orange to know that she was probably in a good mood. “Oh, I have a spirit kitten!” I said. “Would you like to meet her?” I’d left Orange in Caprica’s care, mostly because it made Caprica and Gabrielle really happy.“A spirit kitty? I’ve never eaten spirit meat before!”Or maybe I could leave Orange in their care for a while longer. She was probably being pampered right now, if I had to guess, and she’d be a bit miffed if I took her away from, only to have someone try to eat her.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Three — Catching Up
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Three — Catching Up Savan knew her way across the plains. She didn’t have any maps or a compass, just the occasional glance at the sun, or a squint at some rocks in the distance. The path she led us on wasn’t straight either, being a meandering route that followed the edges of hills and crossed rocky crags with the occasional skip across a rivulet.“This way, meat friends!” Savan said with a gesture ahead.I was trying to convince Savan to stop calling us meat, but she kept slipping. In the end I gave up. At least ‘meat friends’ was a nice alternative to just ‘meat.’“There’s dust ahead,” Amaryllis said with a gesture of a wing towards the sky.I shaded my eyes with a hand then squinted ahead. She was right, there was a plume of smokey dust rising above the nearest hill’s horizon and into the sky. Something big was moving up ahead. Or a lot of medium-sized things, maybe.“That’s the hunters,” Savan said. “This time of sun, they should be out.”It was still pretty early in the morning, though the sun was fully up and shining above. If Savan had run into us after leaving her camp, then she couldn’t have started too far from the camp unless she hunted at night.Then again, she was a cat-person, so maybe she could see in the dark really well.I asked her about it, which quickly snowballed into a conversation about the various advantages of the different intelligent species. Amaryllis, of course, gloated about how great harpy were, until Savan asked her if she tasted more like turkey or chicken, which set Awen and I off in a giggle fit that annoyed Amaryllis a bunch.Just as Awen was mentioning humanity's reputation for being able to eat just about anything, we crested a hill. Out ahead of us, the land flattened out considerably for a long ways, with nothing but a sea of grass in greens and browns and yellows stretching out nearly to the horizon.After staring for a while, I noticed that the land wasn't quite flat, though. There were still bumps and dips in the landscape, but the ever-present grass made it hard to see them.A few trees dotted the area, though they were few and far between, being mostly big wind-swept trees that seemed very picturesque in the distance.“There’s the hunters,” Saven said. “There’s a camp further out that way.” She pointed to what I thought was west. I couldn’t see anything that way, so it must've been farther out than I could see.but the camp might have been a little ways off in the distance.“Should we go to the camp or the hunters?” I asked.“Hunters!” Savan said. “That’s where my friends are. Calamity will know what to do. He’s smart.”With that pronouncement, she started off once more, and the rest of us scrambled to keep up. Savan moved through the grass with much greater ease than the rest of us. She had a way to zig-zag through that didn’t leave a clear trail showing where she came from and which seemed to require less resistance to push through the tall grass.I was tempted to just bounce along, but the ground under the grass was uneven and filled with little holes. I was worried I might sprain my ankles if I wasn’t careful.As we approached the hunters, I began to make out more details.The group had maybe fifty or so members, all either cervid jogging along, or cat-people like Savan on ponyback. Some were riding the cervid. A few of them had long staffs which they were using to bat away the grass, and others nearer to the back were planting poles down with flags on them with different colours.“What are they doing?” Awen asked.“Hunting!” Savan said. “Cockatrice can be very sneaky. They’ll lay down in the grass and only pop up when they feel like eating your meat or if they feel like running. The poles are to tell the gatherers where the hunters found poop.”“Droppings?” Amaryllis asked.“From cockatrice. For potions,” Savan explained.I blinked, then considered the few potions I drank in the past. Had any of those contained dragon-monster poop? Should I have been worried?“Wait, if the hunters are out in a group, then what were you doing?” Amaryllis asked Savan.“Scouting,” Savan answered easily. “I’m small and sneaky, and the cockatrice aren’t going to be scared by just me. If I find them, then I can tell the hunters, and then we hunt them down as a big group.”Savan paused her explanation to jump up on a rock that I hadn’t seen through the grass. She stood at her full height, then tied a kerchief on the end of her bow with a lazy knot and waved it around over her head.There were a few whistles from the hunters, and I noticed a few pointing our way.“What was that for?” Amaryllis asked.“Tell them we’re here,” Savan said.“Yes, I had gathered that, but why?”Savan jumped off the rock and under the kerchief before stuffing it away. “Because I don’t wanna surprise anyone and get shot,” she said.That seemed like a perfectly valid reason to me.We continued towards the group, and I saw what Savan meant by sneaking up on them. Some of the grass we pushed through was taller than I was, ears and all. Big stalks of dry yellow grass that whipped to and fro as we moved through it. We burst out of the tall grass into... less tall grass right before a group of three from the hunters. Two cat people on ponies and a young cervid.“Hello!” Savan said. “I found meat friends!”“Hello, Savan,” one of the cat people said. He was a handsome young man, maybe a few years older than my friends and I, with a nice chin and bright green eyes. He tipped his hat at us. “Howdy, ny’all, what’re you doin’ round these parts?”Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.I held back a snort. That would have been impolite. “Hi!” I said instead. “We’re looking for someone, and also something.”“Well, we’ve got a bit of both,” he said with a grin. “Savan, where’d you find this lot?”“They were camping to the southeast,” Savan said. “They’re looking for a lost cervid boy and a lost airship.”The leader of the little band perked up. “An airship?” he asked, excited.“Oh boy,” his two companions said in stereo before they shook their heads.“”Ny’all are lookin’ for a ship round these parts?” he asked. “Because I swear on the dirt we’re standing on that I’ve seen one. It crashed... ‘bout that way. Maybe a day’s ride yonder.” He pointed to what I suspected was north.“You saw a ship crash?” Amaryllis asked.“Two of ‘em!” he said. “But where’re my manners; my name’s Calamity. Calamity Danger, at y’er service, ma’ams. Best shot in the Trenten Flats. I can swat a fly off y’er nose with the feather of an arrow from a hundred paces.”I clapped. He was very cool.“I’m Broccoli Bunch, and these are my best friends, Amaryllis Albatross and Awen Bristlecone.”“Albatross,” Calamity said. “Like the airship manufacturers?”Amaryllis blinked twice. “Yes, in fact, just like them.” Her chest puffed out a little.“Calamity, we should get back to it,” the cervid said. “Daylight’s burning.”Calamity nodded. “Fair. Now, I don’t want to leave you misses standing out here all on your lonesome.” He swung his leg up and dismounted his pony. “Savan, can you lead Blinky here back to the others. We’ll follow along shortly.”Savan grinned. “Horse meat!” she cheered as she scrambled up onto the pony and grabbed its reins. She ‘hyah’d’ quite loudly and took off at a gallop back towards the main formation of hunters.The other two ran after her, obviously somewhat annoyed.“Is she... normal?” Amaryllis asked.“Savan? She’s as normal as she wants to be, I suspect. Which isn’t very much at all, no,” Calamity said. He grinned and raised his hat to comb his fingers through the fur atop his head. Unlike Savan, Calamity was more of a tabby, with black bands of fur on his face over more greyish brown fur with a few odd white speckles. “But she’s good folk.”“Are you in charge of the hunters, then?” Amaryllis asked.Calamity laughed. “Goodness no. I just stick my whiskers where they don’t belong often enough that folk turn to me to fix things. I’m just along for the pay and the adventure. Now, Savan said you were looking for some ships?”“And a cervid called Deiter,” I said. “He’s from Riverstart, a little village to the south.”“I know the one,” Calamity said with a nod. “I think I even remember the lad you’re talking about. Tall, gawky fellow, bit on the skinny side? Mom had lungs like a banshee that got its tail stepped on?”“Banshees don’t have tails,” Amaryllis said. “But yes, that sounds like the right person.”Calamity grinned. “Poor lad saw one of the hunter does and fell in love with her on sight. I think she insulted his mom too. Might be back at the main camp. Haven’t seen him around since Riverstart though.”“Thank you!” I said. “That helps a lot. And the airships?”“Hmm, those came down way off to the north. Gonna be hard to point you in the right direction, honestly. Might be able to guide you over, if nya tell me why nye’r looking.”I glanced at my friends and earned two shrugs. “Well, a whole bunch of important people — a diplomatic envoy — were taking a big airship to Sylphfree, but it never arrived. It should have had an escort. We’re out here looking for it now.”“Huh, that’s mighty interesting,” Calamity said. He glanced back at the hunters, then back at us. ‘Alright, look misses. I’m keen on showing nya to the spot where I saw those ships go down. I have been ever since I saw them from afar. Everyone here knows I’ve got a real love for airships.”“Which is normal,” I said. “They’re awesome.”Calamity nodded seriously. “That’s right. Can’t just shirk my duties though. If you misses don’t mind, you can trail along with the rest of the group. We stop at around high noon to find shade and fill up. I’m sure I could lead you off northwards around then.”“So, what, you just want us to follow you until noon?” Amaryllis asked.“I bet we can make it to the crash site and back before sunfall. If nya want we can borrow a couple of ponies. It’ll make the ride a fair bit faster. I’ve got Blinky, of course. If we can’t all ride then at least we won’t need to lug y’er gear around.”“That sounds really great,” I said.“Bit convenient,” Amaryllis muttered. She eyed Calamity suspiciously, but didn’t say much.So I stepped up and extended a hand to the cat...man. “I’d love to work with you, if you don’t mind.”“Ah, but before that, we need to talk remuneration,” Calamity said.“Of course,” Amaryllis said. I think it actually made her less suspicious though, that Calamity wanted to be paid. “Let’s haggle now before Broccoli starts insisting on... reverse-friend-discounts or something.”“Wha?” I asked. “But I haven’t even asked Calamity if he wants to be friends yet... do you?”Calamity laughed. “Sure! But a good friend’s a payin’ one!”Calamity DangerDream: To become the coolest sky pirateDesired Quality: Someone who’ll be by his side through thick and thinWhoa! He was so cool!
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Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Four — Our Little Ponies
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Four — Our Little Ponies The hunting party spent the rest of the pre-afternoon moving along at a decent pace. My friends and I had to jog to keep up at times, but not too often. There was only so fast a group of its size could move through the tall grasses.Once Calamity introduced us as a group of wandering explorers, they welcomed us with open arms. I think our jobs were similar enough without overlapping that the hunters didn’t mind our company, though there wasn’t much time to talk and make friends since they all had to work.About an hour after we joined the group, Calamity and a bunch of others conferred together, then charged off into the distance. No one else panicked, so I assumed that was pretty normal.Half an hour later, we came onto the group who were working on tying the legs of what looked like a particularly orange lion together. The poor thing was clearly dead, with a few hook-tipped spears poking through its hide.“That looks a little like a sandcat,” Awen said. “They’re big stealthy cats that hunt in the deserts close to my home.”The hunters loaded the lion onto one of the carts then tied it down so that it wouldn’t bounce around too much. They didn’t seem particularly proud of their catch, or disappointed. I had the impression that this was just work as usual for them.That didn’t change the fact that the lion was longer than I was tall and weighed enough to make the cart groan a bit.The caravan continued, following some twists and turns in the landscape that seemed entirely random to me. By the time the sun was near its zenith, the group had only paused a few times, either to load up a few more animals onto the carts (they caught something which looked like a tiny buffalo, smaller than a pony but with thick hair) or to collect herbs and cuttings from some bushes and flowers we found as we moved.Finally, the caravan stopped within a copse of trees next to a large oasis formed downwind of a slight rise. The hunters warned us that there were monsters in the water and that we should only approach it once it was safe.The animals pulling the carts were unhitched and given water pulled from the pond by some hunters who had water magic, and then someone started a small fire and the hunters started to cook up some lunch.Calamity approached us then. “I’ve gotten two more ponies,” he said. “With Blinky that makes three. The hunters will be heading back early today. Our mereomagist sensed a rainstorm coming this evening and we can’t be caught out in the grasslands when the ground gets wet.”“So we can go?” I asked.The catboy cowboy nodded. “That’s right. We can leave right meow if nya want.”I held back a snort. “Sure thing!” I said. I wasn’t going to laugh. My friends were treating Calamity’s verbal tic as if it was entirely normal, so maybe it was just me who found it weird.The ponies Calamity secured were waiting for us on the edge of the camp. They’d been fed and watered already, and had little sachels on their backs with some grain and water bags in them. “This is Tassels, and that’s Shanks,” Calamity said. He turned towards us. “You understand that I had to rent their services, yes?”Amaryllis sighed. “We do. Do you accept sylph gold?”Calamity grinned. “I accept all gold, my lady.”That started a quick round of haggling between Amaryllis and Calamity. “Fine,” Amaryllis said before she fished out some coins from a purse hidden in her coat. “Now, how much for your services as a guide?”Calamity took the coins, bit into one, then slid it away. “That’ll depend. Quite honestly, I’ve been meaning to look into it myself, but I couldn’t quite justify leaving the caravan on my own for an evening. Still, having to guide nya might slow me down a whole lot.”“We’re not slow,” I said. “Although I’m not sure exactly how riding a pony works.” All I had to do was hang on and scream ‘hyah!’ right?Calamity gave me a look, then shrugged. “Fine. Then how about this. I’ll charge nya half of what I usually would, but I get finder’s rights on whatever we run across once we reach the crash site. If there is one.”Amaryllis hummed. “That seems far more profitable for you than for us. We’d essentially just be bankrolling your own venture at that point. Besides, the ships are already someone’s property. We’ve already covered the cost of the ponies and their feed.”The catboy shrugged. “Do you have the means to grab whatever valuables are left at the wreck if we do find something?” he asked. “If it's really there, I can ask the caravan to make the trip, my word’s worth enough that if I promised that it's worth it, they’d come. I don’t know if you can manage that. Or if nya could, then it would take some time. You’d need to head to the fort and hire teamsters and guides and a whole troop of folk.”“You might be correct, but I won’t give up so easily. We’ll give you the right to exploit the crash site, but we can leave with anything we can carry. Papers, maps, the ship’s manifest, even including things like tools or any gold aboard the vessel.”“But only what you can carry?” Calamity asked.“We can hardly carry off an entire ship with three ponies,” Amaryllis said.Calamity thought about it for a moment, then nodded his head and extended a hand to shake. All three of us shook, then he nodded to the ponies. “Two of nya will have to ride double. I’ll let nya sort yourselves out.”In the end, Amaryllis and I climbed onto Tassels, the biggest of the three ponies. We were both pretty light, so it wasn’t a big deal. Amaryllis had a hard time with the reins since they weren’t designed for talons.I sat in the front, which meant that Amaryllis had to wrap her arms around me to hold on. “Why are you grinning so much?” Amaryllis asked. “We just rode wyverns, why are you so happy about being on a pony?”Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.“It’s less the pony and more the hour-long hugs I’m gonna get.”Amaryllis squeezed me, then huffed a very ‘you’re silly, Broccoli’ kind of huff. “Figures you’d get excited for something so juvenile.”I pulled her wings forward so that she was hugging me even tighter, and Amaryllis laughed for a whole two seconds before she remembered that she was supposed to be all serious and unfunny all the time.“Alright,” Calamity said. “Tassels and Shanks should be used to following along. We’ll try to make good time without tiring the ponies out.”With that, we took off out of the shady copse and into the warm day. The sun shone above, bathing everything in bright warmth while a few puffy clouds lingered above in a blue-blue sky.Calamity set a strong pace, not quite a trot but faster than normal walking. We pushed through where the grass was shortest, with the occasional turn as Calamity guided us around obstacles that we didn’t see until we were right on top of them.At one point, we crossed a bridge that just showed up suddenly as we pushed through the grass. The bridge crossed a long cut in the hillside. It was only a few metres deep, but it would have been a heck of a surprise to anyone running through the grass who didn’t see the fall coming.“So, Calamity,” I asked once I got bored. It took a whole ten minutes after leaving the camp, so I was pretty proud of myself. “Where are you from?”“Me? Right around here. My family’s all from Fort Middlesfaire. Or at least, that’s where we’ve lived for a while. My grandpa was from the Endless Swells. He was a mariner.”“Oh,” I said. “What’s that?”Calamity laughed. “A sailor, but for one of them ships that’s on water instead of in the air. He used to tell me all sorts of stories when I was just a wee kitten. Always wanted to head out that way and see what was what.”“That’s cool!” I said. “Is that why you’re so interested in airships?”Calamity grinned. “Nya! I want to ride one, one day.”“They are really neat,” I agreed.The catboy cowboy half-turned in his saddle. “You’ve been on one?” he asked.Awen giggled. “Broccoli is a captain,” she said.I nodded as Calamity’s eyes locked onto me. My chest puffed out with pride and my ears straightened up. “Yup! It’s true. I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch, of the Beaver Cleaver, the nicest ship in all the skies.”“What kind of ship?” Calamity asked. He was clearly excited, as he should be when the topic of airships came up.“An owl-built ship, a special commission by some fancy harpy lord who didn’t want it in the end. I don’t even know if it had a class name,” I said.“A one-off,” Calamity said. “That’s properly fancy. What sort of ship is she?”“He!” I said.“Aren’t ships usually shes?” he asked.I shook my head. “The Beaver’s a boy, I think.”“Don’t argue with her, she’ll just confuse you,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, don’t worry, I understand,” he said with a nod.Amaryllis sniffed. “The ship’s a modified full-body catamaran. Single balloon, two hulls.”Awen nodded along from her spot atop Shanks. “It has a type two-sixteen Albatross engine, with a three metre prop-span and custom cam-work. The original engine was an Owl-wright model seven, I think. Some of the parts were left over, including a lot of the transmission and gearing, which is probably for the best. They are better than the Albatross models.”“Pardon me?” Amaryllis asked.“Wait,” Calamity said. “You’re an Albatross from the airship makers Albatross?” he asked Amaryllis.Amaryllis nodded. “Yes, of course. I’m the family’s youngest.”“So, you think maybe an aspiring young man could get his hands on a ship? Like, a small one?” Calamity asked.Amaryllis laughed. “Oh no, you sound like Broccoli when I met her. She asked the same question. Well, it was worded differently, I suppose, but the idea’s the same. I’ll tell you the same thing I told her, if you have the gold, you can have a ship.”“If you become Amaryllis’ best friend forever you get a cool discount too,” I pointed out.“What? No you don’t,” Amaryllis said.“I got the Beaver with a one-hundred-percent-off friend-discount,” I pointed out.Amaryllis was quiet for a moment, then she squeezed me tighter. “Alright. I’ll give you that one. But don’t you ever tell our competitors.”“What could they do? Convince you they’re your best friend just to steal a ship?” I asked.“Yes. I’m sure they wouldn’t blink at the idea of planting a false friend next to me or one of my sisters just to steal a ship or two.”I gasped. That... that was horrible! What kind of sad person would pretend to be someone’s friend? Worse, who would pretend to be someone’s friend just to steal from them? That was... it was despicable!It was beyond the pale! Unforgivable!... Ah, so this is hatred.That sobered me right up. “I don’t like that. Let’s talk about something more fun.” I scrambled for an idea before latching onto the first that came to mind. “Hey, Calamity, how’d you become a hunter?”“Well, it was something of a natural evolution,” he said. “I was the best shot with a bow in the world, so naturally all I needed to do was turn those skills towards hunting. Then, as it turns out, I’m a great leader. So, obviously, I was quickly promoted up the ranks. Not that we have any sort of formal ranking, really.”“And your incredible humility makes you the humblest person in the world too,” Amaryllis snarked.Calamity laughed. “Humility? Nya, I don’t have any of that!”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Five — Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Five — Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head The warm afternoon turned into an early evening that wasn’t much cooler. Some grey clouds rolled in from the west, travelling towards the Sylphfree mountains to our right. They looked like they were heavy with rain, but for the moment all we got was rising humidity to go with the heat we had.We stopped by a rivulet along the way and after Calamity checked around it for predators, we let Blinky, Tassels, and Shanks have turns at drinking some water. We did the same, emptying our waterskins before refilling them in the stream with some Cleaning magic thrown in to keep the water pure of gunk and stuff.Once our break was over, we continued on. Calamity kept up a good chunk of the conversation, talking about his experiences as a hunter while occasionally asking questions about airships.I shouldn’t have been too surprised, but I still kind of was-Awen was being a lot more sociable than usual. It was nice seeing her break out of her introspective nature for a bit. I think it mostly had to do with the topic at hand; Awen loved talking shop and Calamity was a huge fan of airships, so they were on the same wavelength when it came to that.The trip continued, with the four of us charting a zig-zaggy route across the plains. Calamity seemed to know where he was going, and he had hinted that he had a skill that prevented him from getting lost out in the open.Then, just as Calamity finished saying that we were only an hour out, the sky opened up.Something touching my ear had me wincing. I reached up and noticed that it was a bit wet. All day, a few flies had been buzzing about me, but usually a quick flick of my ear was enough to send them off. The thwap of another raindrop smacking my helmet told me it wasn’t a bugging bug.“Huh, I think it might be raining soon,” I said.A half-second later the skies opened up and it was as if a million buckets had just been flipped around over our heads.Awen squeaked and Amaryllis squawked as a deluge came pouring down atop us. Calamity reached up to hang onto his hat and the ponies shifted under us. “Well, looks like that storm’s come around. You ladies good to ride through this or should we look for shelter?”“What shelter? There’s nothing but grass around here!” Amaryllis shouted.“There’s always something,” Calamity yelled back. I had a hard time hearing him over the constant rush of water. It was like standing next to a waterfall. Or maybe under it. I was pretty sure if I tilted my head back and opened my mouth, I could drown just standing still.“Let’s find shelter!” I called out.“Right! Stay close!” Calamity said. He reached into his saddlebags and pulled out a length of rope and tossed both ends at us. I caught one and Awen, on the other pony, grabbed the other. “Tie it to the saddle,” he shouted while looping the middle around the horn on his saddle.We did as he asked. I think Awen’s knot was much nicer than my own, but it wasn’t time to compare that kind of thing. I didn’t have time to ask why we’d done that, but it became obvious as Calamity rode forwards and the lines went taut. I could only barely see him out ahead of us through the sheets of rain.My armour, which had a lot of padded cloth to it, was soaking up water like a sponge and clinging to me in an icky way, and I felt way heavier than usual as my ears flopped down, they were too waterlogged to stand.Once it stopped raining, someone would have to hang me out to dry for a while at this rate.A strong gust of wind whipped by, making the water swell around us in great big sheets. That cleared things up for a bit, and I could make out the open plains around us for just a moment before the rain returned in force. The grass was forced down flat and there was a fog rising from the ground.We pushed into the rain, Calamity leading us despite the constant downpour, though he had a hand on his hat the entire time to keep it from blowing off.A bright light flashed in the distance, then, maybe some ten seconds later, a heavy rumble washed over the sound of the rain.“Thunder!” Amaryllis shouted.“There’s a proper storm coming,” Calamity said. “We’ll need to find cover sooner than I thought!”“This isn’t a proper storm already?” Amaryllis asked.Calamity’s laughter carried back to us. “Ladies, this is just a light shower! Now hang on, we’ll be moving a trot faster.”Calamity “Nyah’ed” and the ponies started to move much faster, with a pace that had us bouncing on the saddles. We reached the end of a cliff that I hadn’t seen coming and Calamity turned, then had us follow the edge until the hill until we descended into a gully. A stream ran down the bottom, full to bursting with rapid water that we crossed with plenty of splashing.As we started to move along the edge of the cliff, Calamity pointed ahead. “Look!” he shouted.I squinted, then brushed a lock of sopping hair away from my face. There was something out ahead, but I couldn’t tell what it was. There were poles and bars loomed out of the downpour at odd angles and something that looked like a house-sized boulder, but I couldn’t make out many details.As we came closer though, the details became clear.It was an airship. Or half an airship, at least. One that was tilted onto its side, entire chunks of its hull ripped out and Some of the main beams were half-driven into the earth like lawn darts.. The tattered remains of the balloon lay across the wreck, just as sodden by the rain as we were, while some lighter material flapped wildly in the wind.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.“That’s one of the ships you saw crashing?” Amaryllis asked.“About the right place!” Calamity called back. “Is it one of the ones you’re looking for?”“We’ll see,” Amaryllis replied.We did see, once we got closer. The ship had been, if I had to guess (which was made hard since half the ship was missing) about half the size of a Beaver Cleaver in terms of width. Its hull was still much larger than either of the Beaver’s own hulls though. It had a main deck and a bilge deck below that, both of which had been crushed into the ground on landing.We made our way around to the back of the ship, where the entire aft section was conveniently missing which left a large opening for us to wander into.Amaryllis and I cast some light balls ahead to illuminate the interior, in case something had decided to make their home inside the wreck. Fortunately, other than a few creepy-crawlies, the ship was empty of anything alive.We pulled the ponies in after us, and all let out contented sighs as we finally got out of the constant downpour. I placed a hand against my breastplate and pushed it in, which squished the gambeson underneath and sent water pouring out of me. “I think I’m soaked through,” I said. “I’m like, eighty-percent water now.”“Well, at least no one’s thirsty,” Calamity chuckled. He removed his hat, then ran his hands through his fur. “I’m going to smell like wet cat all day now.”“Should we, ah, look around?” Awen said with a gesture to the crashed ship.“Before that, we need to tend to the ponies,” Calamity said. “I imagine we’ll be waiting the storm out in here, and at this hour, I don’t fancy riding back to the hunter camp. Unless nya really want to brave the storm, it’ll be best to wait in here.” He walked up to Blinky and started to undo the straps on the pony’s saddle, which was just as waterlogged as the rest of us.I rolled up and twisted the side of my skirt to wring out some water, then gave up and went to help.Soon, we had the ponies set up in a corner of the wreck, far from the hole we’d entered from where they could stay nice and dry. The food we’d brought for them had stayed mostly dry thanks to the leather of the satchel it was in.Our food wasn’t so lucky. The packages were in our bags, which were more canvas than leather, and not quite as water-proof. The packages the food came in were somewhat better, but not by much.“We’ll eat those that got hit the worst,” Amaryllis said as she stacked the food to one side. Awen was collecting bits of wood and stacking them along the wall while Calamity and I dragged a big metal plate over. I think it was once part of the baseplate the anchor’s pulley was fixed to, but now it was just a big bent chunk of metal. Good enough for a makeshift firepit.We didn’t have to worry about the smoke pooling above us, the side of the ship that was now the ‘top’ had a few shattered portholes. At the moment they were letting in plenty of rainwater, but after the soaking we got, it was nothing.It took a good twenty minutes to set up a makeshift camp. In the end, we cleared out a space for a pair of tents and had some actual benches to sit around our firepit.“This is definitely a harpy ship,” Amaryllis said once we sat down. Awen was handling the cooking while we tried to dry up. A cord strung across the ship was being used as a clothesline where a lot of our clothing was left to dry.“You recognize the design?” I asked.Amaryllis nodded and pointed to the ceiling of the hold. “The trusses there, the way they’re jointed, that’s one of my family’s techniques. This ship was made in our shipyard. It’s a patrol frigate, I think.”“Think we can find out more about it?” I asked.“We’d need the logs for that,” Amaryllis said."There's still a lot to explore," Calamity said. He was quite excited to look around. We’d checked for survivors already, but didn’t find anyone, living or otherwise. There were bunks though, and storage rooms by the keel. They were on their sides, but that just meant it was trickier to look around.Amaryllis shook her head. “Those will be in the officer’s quarters which should be right about... there.” She pointed towards the big chunk of the ship which was missing.“Oh,” Calamity said.“The engines would be there too,” Awen said. “And most of the heavier sections of the ship. Most harpy ships are back-heavy.”“We compensate for that,” Amaryllis said.Awen shrugged. “It’s probably why the ship was ripped in half. I’m guessing here, but I think this part still had the balloon hooked to it when it crashed. It would have slowed it down a little. But the gravity generator and other equipment would be in the back where they’d work best.”“Would they be far from here?” I asked.“Maybe, if the generator was still working when the ship broke in half, it could have flown off for quite a ways,” Awen speculated.“Most of the crashing bits I saw fell near enough to each other,” Calamity said. “But that was near-enough from a long ways off. Nya can’t judge distances well like that.”“We can look around once all of this clears up,” Amaryllis said with a gesture to the storm outside. The flashes were a lot more frequent now, and there was a constant bassey rumble occasionally accentuated by a loud crack-boom that made the ground shake.I nodded. “I’d rather not be out there right now, no. We can look around in the morning! I bet we’ll figure the whole thing out, no problem!”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Six — Crash Scene Investigators
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Six — Crash Scene Investigators We spent the night hiding from the storm within the ship. The worst of it took an hour or so to arrive, then hung above us for twice as long. There were constant booms as lightning stuck nearby and the ground shook almost constantly with the echoing explosions.Calamity pointed to something glowing in the distance at some point and said that part of the grasslands was on fire. Apparently that was pretty common during storms like these. I could barely see it at all, but I took his word for it.I was mostly impressed that anything could burn in the pelting rain, though it did disappear after a few minutes.We drew lots for the order of watches, then settled in for the night. Thanks to my Cleaning magic we didn’t need to freshen up as much, so we mostly all just slept in our gear on a blanket or three.I slept fitfully, but it wasn’t the worst sleep I’d ever gotten. It helped when I had my friends close so that I could use them as warm pillows to keep away the chill.Awen cooked up a simple breakfast in the morning with a few chunks of the ship’s floor as kindling. The storm had passed but there was still a faint drizzle outside. Nothing at all like the deluge of the night before.“The rain will pass in a few hours,” Calamity said. “We’ll be a bit muddy and wet, but we’ll manage, I think. Let’s finish up eating first though. Let the earth soak up more of yesterday’s rain.”That would've been a good idea. I stepped out of the ship after breakfast to see the wreck from the outside-since I didn’t actually look all that hard the night before-and almost immediately lost a shoe as it was slorped up by a patch of mud. After ripping it out and tying it a bit tighter, I found that the best way to move was to step on the grassiest patches.The ship was called the er’s Eye. Or at least, that was the part of the name that was left. The rest was probably on the other half of the airship, wherever that was. It was, as I suspected, a bit wider than either one of the Beaver Cleaver’s hulls, but not wider than both. It also wasn’t nearly as fancy, though there was a beautifully carved figurehead of a harpy girl with her wings spread wide wearing a very windswept dress. A chunk of one wing was outright missing.I noticed something on the hull. A long metal harpoon was jutting out of the side, the metal bent and a cut off rope dangling from an eyelet at the back of it.Someone had jammed that in there, probably before the ship crashed.It had been attacked!When I reported my findings to my friends, I got some other possibilities. “That’s plausible, but it’s not unheard of for ships to harpoon each other in times of need,” Amaryllis said. If this ship was loosing ballast, for example, it’s possible an allied vessel harpooned it to prevent it from rising too quickly. Or to tow it in an emergency. Both unlikely, but plausible explanations. It certainly lends credence to there being an attack, but it’s not a sure thing.”“No bodies either,” Calamity said. “Some blood here and there, but honestly, I imagine the folk onboard this thing took quite the tumble on the way down, so it’s anyone’s guess if they were hurt from that or from an attack.”“Did anyone find anything salvageable?” Awen asked. She’d packed up most of our things, then she’d loitered around one of the rooms currently above us: the mechanic’s room, which I imagined was meant to be connected to the missing engine room.Calamity nodded. “Yes, but nothing worth taking now. Plenty of provisions, some tools, a few odds and ends. All the stuff I guess you’d expect to find on a ship. The hunters are going to love scavenging this thing. Usually we bring back meat and pelts, not finished goods.”“I found the mechanic’s log,” Awen said. “It has details on all the recent repairs and maintenance. There was a mechanic and two apprentices. Um. The maintenance log seems pretty up to date? Unless the mechanic was lying or cutting corners, then this ship should have been in decent shape.”“Which doesn’t rule out mechanical failure, but does make it unlikely,” Amaryllis concluded. “Let’s head out. Maybe the other half of the ship will tell us more.”We did just that, climbing onto Blinky, Tassel, and Shanks and heading out of the wreck. We didn’t try to hide that we’d been there. Maybe another adventurer walking by would use the firepit we’d made. I kind of liked the idea of the wreck being turned into a landmark.Calamity had us riding outwards in a strange sort of spiralling pattern that had us sweeping out, then turning around and ranging further out in a sweep in the other direction. It was a little weird, but an hour or so after we took off, the pattern proved its worth.We found the other half of the airship, and another ship besides.They were both planted at the junction between two hills, where they would be somewhat hard to spot from afar, especially once the grass straightened up post-storm. The rear of the first ship (which from the stencilling on the side I could now guess was called the Hunter’s Eye) was jutting out of the side of the hill. It was planted straight down in something of a crater.The other ship had crashed more gently. The balloon's internal was slumped across the top of the hull, metal ribs jutting through the torn fabric. Even though it was half-crumpled like a soda can, its shape was still recognizable, so I guessed the landing wasn't as harsh as it could've been. The ship had crashed atop one hill, ploughing down the side of it until it came to rest at the bottom, tilted at a good thirty-degree angle.Planks and bits of its keel radiated out from the scar in the landscape.“Engine section first,” Amaryllis decided. “We’ll piece together what we can from the Hunter’s Eye before looking for clues elsewhere.”“Alright,” I agreed. It was closer anyway.Any doubts about enemy action faded as we approached the ship’s rear. There was a gaping hole in the side of the ship that poked right through the top-deck and into the officer’s quarters beneath. There were scorch marks too, so whatever that had been was hot, probably some kind of magic.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.There was some netting caught in the propellers at the rear. The ropes were tangled into the shafts and looked like they’d done a good job of seizing up the propulsion.Because the Hunter’s Eye was standing up on end, we couldn’t get inside easily, and Awen pointed out that it was probably not a good idea anyway. The storm hadn’t tipped it over, but if we poked around inside it, we might jostle it loose and bring it down on our heads. Unlike the forward section, this half was resting at a precarious angle, with all the heavy parts at the top and nothing but dirt below it.If it was the only ship to explore, then maybe we’d take the risk, but it wasn’t.The second ship was a short pony ride away. Its name was the Remiges Crown, and I suspected it was a warship from the moment it was designed. The ship wasn’t too much longer than the Beaver Cleaver but its middle section bulged out, giving the impression that the ship was rather chubby.The reason for that was the ballistae platforms on either side. They weren’t just little ones either. Each bowstave was half again as long as I was tall. There were more of the bows at the aft of the ship, but they were much smaller.“That’s a corvette,” Amaryllis said. “An older model at that. Half of these have been retired or sold to the independent cities by now.”“The prop of this one is also tangled in a net,” Awen pointed out. “I’ll have to look at the net, but it’s probably the same kind.”The ship had a ladder set into the side, little handholds cut into the wood, so when we reached it and finished tying off the ponies, it only took a bit of jumping to be able to climb aboard.Walking on the deck was strange since it was tipped to one side at a bit of an angle, but it wasn’t impossible.“More blood,” Calamity pointed out. “There was fighting on this one.”“And casting,” Amaryllis said. She gestured to the deck where a long scorch mark had darkened the wood. A bit further on, the wood’s grain was burned in a strange, zig-zagging pattern which looked a bit like lightning forks. An electric spell?There were broken railings on the side, and a few grapple-hooks were abandoned hanging to the side of the ship.“Someone boarded this vessel,” Amaryllis said. “I think they were repelled though.”“How do you know?” I asked.“The ship’s in decent condition other than the obvious. If someone had boarded it to steal it, they would have taken it, I think, or scuttled it. This ship crashed slowly. The lifeboats are missing as well.” Amaryllis pointed to a pair of racks in the centre of the deck where I imagined a pair of long boats were supposed to sit.“Maybe the people boarding the ship took them?” I asked.“That’s possible, I suppose,” Amaryllis said.As it turned out, she was probably right. We couldn’t explore most of the decks on the ship-the bottom-most one was ripped apart, and the main deck was a mess of broken floors and splintered wood, though it was possible to travel through it. There weren’t any signs of fighting though.Awen spent a few minutes at the captain’s door with a few tools before she finally unlocked it and opened the door wide for us.Calamity whistled when he entered the cabin. It was quite nice, with drapes over the shattered windows and a beautiful desk in the centre of the room. Latched cabinets with glass doors were stacked to one side filled with maps and there were expensive navigational tools strewn across the floor.There was a door past that leading to a few rooms. On one side was the captain’s quarters and across from those were two smaller rooms for the officers.“Nice!” Calamity said as he returned to the main room with a sword in hand. The grip looked like it was designed for a harpy, but it was still usable. He swung the cutlass around a few times, grinning all the while. “Think I might keep this one.”“We’re looking for something a little more important,” Amaryllis said. She checked around the room, clearly looking for something that was hidden. I poked around too, but there wasn’t anything too shiny. I did find a nice hat, but it was the First Mate’s and I preferred my Captain’s hat over it.“I think I found it!” Awen called back.She had discovered a hidden compartment built into the desk in the centre of the room. Within it was a thick leather-bound book and some writing implements.“It’s soul-bound,” Amaryllis said as she inspected the book. “The ship’s log. Bound to the captain. I think these are linked from captain to captain.” The book had a heavy clasp on its front.“Can you open it?” I asked.“Only certain people can,” she said. “In case the book falls into enemy hands. You need the blood and mana of a willing person taken from a relatively short list. That includes the captain and first mate, who are added to the records, a few admirals, and of course the person who originally made the vessel. It keeps a continuous record of the ship’s voyages and actions which can’t be tampered with. Well, unless the captain themselves do so.”“Oh,” I said. “So we’ll need to find an admiral to open it?” I asked.Amaryllis shrugged, then made a small cut along the back of her hand where her talon started. She dripped a drop of blood onto the clasp and it glowed faintly before popping off. “Or, you could find a direct blood-descendant of the person who built the ship,” she said.“That was anticlimactic,” I pointed out.“Yes, well, let’s not complain about being lucky one of the few times that luck’s on our side,” Amaryllis said. She opened the manifest which turned out to be pages and pages of carefully penned notes and navigational information. She leafed over to the last page with writing on it, then stared. “Huh... I wasn’t expecting actual pirates.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Piracy in the High Skies
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Piracy in the High Skies “Pirates?” Calamity asked.“Pirates,” Amaryllis confirmed.“Pirates!” Calamity cheered.“Pirates!” I cheered with him, because it was fun.“Pirates?” Awen repeated.Amaryllis huffed. “Okay, enough of that. I’m aware you’re all excited, but can we please take this seriously? This is an important matter.”I nodded along. That was a fair thing to ask, even if the news was quite exciting. “So, what does the book say?”Amaryllis held the manifest open in the crook of one wing and ran her talons across the other page. “Alright, let’s trace this back a little,” she said as she flipped back a couple of pages. “Here. This ship was one of the first to meet with the main delegation vessel. The Royal Plumage. They took off from Fort Sylphrot then headed north. They collected new crewmates at Farseeing and waited two days at dock for the fleet to assemble. There are some notes from the quartermaster.”“I think we can skip those,” Awen said.Amaryllis nodded. “Alright, here, the ship left Farseeing and headed north again. They stopped by Walker’s Rest where they picked up a few more nobles and another couple of escort ships. The Hunter’s Eye was one of those, as well as its sister ship, the Hunter’s Fang.”I nodded along. I could more or less trace the trajectory in my mind. “How many ships does that make?” I asked.“Including the main delegation ship, which was a government yacht, there were two corvettes, two frigates, and a single cruiser.”Calamity whistled. “That’s an awful lot of ships,” he said.“More escorts than you’d ever expect for a commercial venture, but for a political one, this is more or less par for the course.” Amaryllis tapped the page. “This ship, the Remiges Crown, I think it belonged to a noble of the Canary family. So not a Nesting Mountain Navy vessel but a privately owned and operated warship.”I looked around the deck, noting all the weapons on it. “Really? This is a private ship?”“A merchant escort. It explains why it’s so lightly armed,” Amaryllis said.This was lightly armed? It had a lot more going for it than the Beaver did. Then again, the Beaver Cleaver was an adventuring ship first and foremost. “Anyway, then what?”“So, all six vessels headed further north. They crossed to the east of the mountain range through Walker’s Pass, then they headed towards Sylphfree using a fairly circuitous route.” Amaryllis turned the page. “Ah, they hit a storm coming from the south maybe... a week ago.”“I remember that one,” Calamity said. “Nasty storm. Way worse than what we slept through.”“That threw the fleet in disarray. They regrouped to the west of Fort Middlesfaire and continued north. I think they were planning on slipping to the south of the Greenstone.”Calamity frowned. “That’s daring.”“What’s the Greenstone?” I asked.“It’s an area to the north of here, thataways,” Calamity said as he pointed. “It’s all dead. Like a small desert, with a nearly perfect edge. There’s this huge green pillar in the middle of it. All glowy and magical.”“What’s it do?”He shrugged. “Kills nya, mostly. Don’t rightly know who put it there or why.”“Giant mysterious pillar, got it.” I turned back to Amaryllis. “Then what?”“Then, the pirates. The fleet was trying to move at double-time but they ran into complications. Doesn’t say what. The log only says that they saw... well, here, read this passage at the bottom here.” She turned the manifest my way and pointed to the very last paragraphs, all done in a neat hand.0909h — Ships sighted. 340-345 North. Six vessels. No sight on flags.1017h — Ships approaching. Three vessels turning to intercept. No flags. Unknown vessel type.1037h — Alarm raised from the Concordance. Ships are Snowlander. Two frigate-tonnage vessels. Two corvettes. One cruiser. One heavy vessel (cargo converted?). Bearing on fleet.1100h — Flags raised. Pirates. Preparing for boarding and combat.That was the last entry. The rest of the page was all blank. I was kind of impressed by the steady hand of whomever wrote the notes. “So, pirates. For real-real,” I said.Amaryllis nodded. “And this ship and the Hunter’s Eye were taken out. They didn’t come down to salvage, but the looks of it. And this was a while ago. The delegation was going to be late because of the storm. This just made it worse.”“I guess they had bigger things to worry about than being late,” Awen said. “Like pirates.”Amaryllis nodded. “Their route is strange. This isn’t the fastest path to Sylphfree, not by a long shot. The timing isn't adding up.”“Think someone on the inside told the pirates?” Calamity asked. He was pretty excited by it all.“It’s possible, though I’d hope not. The last thing we need is a political element within the country consorting with pirates and scoundrels.” She snapped the manifest shut and locked it up. “We need to report this.”“Going to take a couple days to reach Fort Middlesfaire from here,” Calamity said. “Longer if we intend to loot the ship before we run off.”Amaryllis narrowed her eyes in thought, then shook her head. “No, that’s too long. I suggest that we use the ring we have to contact our friends in Slyphfree for pickup.”“They’ll be able to find us out here?” I asked.Awen nodded. “It shouldn’t be too hard to triangulate where someone is with that kind of ring. Not for a Paladin team, I imagine. Also, we’ll be telling them where we are, which should help.”Calamity slowly raised a hand to ask a question. “Sorry ny’all, but what are we talking about?”My friends and I shared a look, and I was elected the spokesbun. “Well, we came here to discover what happened to the delegation right?” He nodded. “Both Sylphfree and the Nesting Kingdom want to know. So we’re in contact with Slyphfree for this mission. They’re the ones who helped us get all the way over to here.”Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.“Oh,” he said. “Well, I’ll be. Proper spies from another land.”“We’re not spies,” I said.“It’s true. At worst we’re mercenaries,” Amaryllis pointed out. “But in reality it’s more that our goals happen to align with Sylphfree’s. It’s a matter of mutual convenience. The sylph need to know what happened to the delegation so that the harpy won’t be angered with them. Ideally, we’ll also be able to prove that the Trenten Flats are innocent in all of this.”“Innocent?” he asked. Then his eyes lit up. “Because the ships went down over the Flats. Right, I can see why that might ring some bells. Like discovering one of your hens died in the neighbour’s yard.”“Not the analogy I’d use, but yes, something like that,” Amaryllis said. “I need a moment to pen a response.” She glanced around. We were still in the officer’s quarters, which happened to have desks and writing implements. Most of the latter were scattered across the floor, but they weren’t far.“Want to keep snooping around while she does all that?” I asked Calamity and Awen.“Sure, I’d love ta.” We left the cabins at the rear of the ship and made our way to the centre of the deck where a staircase led to the main deck. “So, are nya really an airship captain?” he asked.I nodded. “I am! I’ve only been one for a couple of months though.”“Busy months,” Awen said.“Oh yeah, very. This won’t be our first run-in with pirates.”“You’ve seen pirates before?” he asked. “Like, in the air?”I nodded. “Awen was kidnapped once!”“I get kidnapped a lot,” Awen noted with a heavy sigh. “Twice since I met Broccoli. But the first time it was by Broccoli, so I’m not sure if it counts.”“I think it technically needs to be involuntary for it to count,” I pointed out. I hardly needed Calamity to start thinking I was some sort of evil bun mastermind, kidnapper of cute friends and hug thief.“That’s incredible. You must know a bunch about airships then, like, ah, what kinda loot we can find in one of these here airships?” he asked with a gesture around himself. The lower deck of the Remiges Crown was fairly open, with netted shelves to the sides and an area near the fore that was filled with hammocks“Uh, I guess food, some normal supplies, maybe weapons?” I asked. The Beaver didn’t have much by means of treasure on it. Maybe a few personal items, but that was it.“A ship this big might have an armoury,” Awen said.As it turns out, she was right. We found a heavy metal door at the rear of the ship with three big locks on it. None of them were actually locked though, and the door was left half-open. I imagined that the crew had grabbed what they needed when pirates showed up and were a bit too busy to lock up on the way out.The room was narrow, shoved up against the side of the engine as it was. One wall was entirely made up of racks which had held a bunch of weapons once. Now it was down to a few that had been left behind. Calamity was still excited about it though. “Oh, crossbows. And grapples.” He picked up a cutlass, then compared it to the one he’d grabbed earlier.I looked around at things too, but I wasn’t super interested in weapons, and there wasn’t much else there. The kitchen proved a lot more interesting. It was also at the rear, and seemed nearly intact.That made some sense, all the food was in cupboards with strong latches or in racks that were meant to endure a good bit of turbulence. There was a magical rune-empowered fridge at the back filled with all sorts of goodies, and the stove was also powered by mana.Awen and I started cooking, mostly noodles with whatever sauces we found in the fridge. It would let us save up some of our other supplies in case we needed them.“You’re getting the hang of cooking, huh?” I asked Awen as she mixed a pot-full of a tomato-like paste.“It’s not too different from assembling something, in a way. And... I like it when you and Amaryllis are happy that I cooked something nice.”“Aw!” I cooed before grabbing her for a quick cheek-squishing hug. “I like it when you’re happy too!”Amaryllis came down a few minutes later with a bit of a frown on her face. “Ah, there you are,” she said. Calamity was in what I guess was the mess. Though the table was clearly meant to fold up against the wall to be out of the way. “Are you cooking?”“Early lunch!” I said.“I suppose there’s no point in letting anything go to waste. Anyway, I finished contacting Sylphfree. They can have a flight of wyverns here to pick us up by tomorrow afternoon.”“That’s a long ways off,” I said.“We’re not exactly close by. Though I had hoped they would have a ship ready for departure with less delay than that,” Amaryllis said.“So, we hang around here until the sylph arrive, then I lead the ponies back?” Calamity asked.“No, not quite,” Amaryllis said. “They want us to keep investigating things in the region. Calamity, you said you only saw two ships coming down, right?”“Yeah, but it was from afar. I don’t doubt my eyes, but I know their limits.”“Then maybe we can find a vantage and look around, just in case. We have time to kill before the sylph take off, and they can home in on us. We don’t need to sit around and wait.”“That sounds fine,” I said. “But first, let's get something warm into our tummies, huh?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes, but when Awen came out with a big bowl full of steaming noodles and sauce, she didn’t complain any.A small break, then a pinch more adventure. Just what we needed to cap off the day!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Abandoned Ship
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Abandoned Ship After grabbing a few supplies from the Remiges Crown, we got back onto the ponies and headed out. Calamity pointed us towards a hill to the south of our position. It looked almost like a shelf of earth that jutted out of the ground with a sharp edge. The space beneath it had a small forest’s worth of trees growing where the wind couldn’t reach them.We switched things up, Amaryllis rode with Awen, so I had Shanks all to myself as we rode across the plains. I kind of wished that I was riding with one of my friends, sharing a saddle was a great excuse to get my daily dose of cuddles in.The hillside wasn’t too far away, but it still took an hour to get to it. The ground being so muddy didn’t help any. The poor ponies had splashes of mud all the way up to their tummies, and my shoes were caked in it by the time we reached the hill. A bit of Cleaning magic worked it off, but it was still kind of annoying.Calamity found a switch-back path dug into the side of the hill. “Is this a natural path?” Amaryllis asked.“Hmm? Oh, nya, this is ancient. I don’t know who dug this out, but it’s been here forever. There’s a wider, newer way down further south, with some railings and all, but it’s a bit far to travel for us when all we want’s a spot to see from. I heard that these were made by an earth mage a long while back. Some folk say that a magic cockatrice that could move earth made them, but I don’t rightly believe those tall tales.”Once we were at the top of the hill, I took in the great vista below us. It was, for the most part, just grass. Lots and lots of grass, as far as my bun eyes could see. Some places had muddy pools of water where there was a dip in the land, but even those had grass pushing through the mud, and I didn’t doubt that by mid-afternoon it would all dry up and be absorbed by the thirsty ground.Calamity had mentioned, in passing, that it only rained once every couple of weeks, but when it did, it was always strong.“That’s the Hunter’s Eye,” Awen said as she pointed. I followed her gaze to the distant form of the ship’s keel. “And that over there’s the other half of the Eye and the Remiges Crown.”The other ship wasn’t too hard to spot, being a bit bigger. Though the way it was resting against a hill meant that it would probably be much harder to find for anyone coming from the other direction. Once the grass straightened up post-storm and the ship sank into the ground a little more, it might actually be hard to find.I didn’t doubt that the wind would toss some dirt onto the deck and then grass would grow from that, until it melded into the verdancy. But that hadn’t happened just yet and wouldn’t happen for a while.“So, that’s two ships in three parts,” Amaryllis said. She scanned the horizon. “I don’t see any others. I wish we had a spyglass.”“Oh!” Awen said. She brought her hands up, as if holding an invisible tube, then frowned. Glass formed between her hands with a faint crackle, like crystals growing but a thousand times faster. She focused harder, then squinted as her creation took form. It was a telescope! A single piece of glass forming lenses with bars to hold them in place. “I’m going to need to fiddle with this, and I don’t think anyone else will be able to adjust the focus, but...” she looked through it at the distant form of the Remiges Crown.“What can you see?” I asked.“The... ship I’m looking at?” she answered, a bit confused. “There’s nothing really new. Uh, having this only helps me see, it doesn’t really help me find new things to look at.”“Oh, right,” I said.We squinted out into the distance, looking for anything that stood out. Unsurprisingly, it was Calamity who spotted something strange first. “That way,” he said. “Along the ridge we’re on, about two hours ride south and east.” He was pointing a bit behind us.I spotted what he was talking about. It was maybe two kilometres away from the crash site for the Hunter’s Eye’s fore-section, just a little bit behind the ridge we were standing on. Or maybe it was another ridge? It was hard to tell, but I suspected we were on the lip of a very big, very old crater.“I see it,” Awen said. The telescope clinked and cracked, like someone stepping on a wineglass with heavy boots and shifting their foot around. The lenses twisted a bit, and the telescope adjusted itself minutely. “Got it.”“So, what do you see?” Amaryllis asked. “It looks like a dark lump to me.”That was a pretty accurate description for me too, there was something black in the distance, but because it was barely peeking out of grass, I had no way to get a sense of scale. I had probably looked right past it a couple of times already.“I think it’s a ship,” Awen said. “No, it’s definitely a ship. There’s a balloon, I think that’s the black part. It’s a bit behind the curve of the hill so I can’t see much of it.” She passed her telescope to Amaryllis who plucked it and stared into the distance as well.“That does look like it might be a vessel of some sort. A smaller one. Could be one of the lifeboats. No, no it couldn’t be.”“It couldn’t?” I asked.“Harpy lifeboats don’t have their own balloons. That looks more like a skiff, like the Shady Lady.”Abraham’s little ship? Flying on the Shady Lady had been a blast! Though it was also kind of terrifying. That ship had been held together with tape and happy thoughts.“Do you think it was part of the delegation or the pirates?” I asked.“Hard to tell,” Amaryllis said. She passed me the telescope while Awen made another in about half the time it took her to make the one I now had. I squeezed one eye shut and looked through to search for the ship.It really was hard to spot, even with a zoomed-in view. The craft looked like it was pretty even with the ground, but its balloon was draped across the hill as if it was ripped, which was probably exactly what had happened.If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.“It doesn’t look like it crashed,” I said. “It looks like it’s mostly in one piece.”“We’ll see once we get closer,” Amaryllis said.That kind of decided our next destination for us, though only after looking around for more points of interest. We patted down the ponies, I cleaned off the mud from their shoes and flanks, then we headed out once more. Calamity had us walking a little ways away from the cliff-edge. He said that while it was great for keeping track of where you were going, he’d also seen the cliff fall apart a few times and we didn’t want to trigger a landslide.Calamity’s guess about the distance was spot-on. It took a bit over an hour to get close enough to the ship to see it without Awen’s telescope, and another half hour before we were basically right on top of it.“That’s not a harpy design,” Amaryllis said as we got closer.The ship was long and narrow, maybe a third as long as the Beaver Cleaver but thin enough that it could easily fit between the Beaver’s two hulls. Its hull was shaped a bit like a teardrop, with the rear section being larger and the front tapering to a curved point.It wasn’t made of wood the way harpy ships were, or flat metal panels like the sylph preferred. This was all sleek, curved metal, carefully shaped and riveted together.“That’s a Snowlander ship,” Awen said with obvious glee. “Oh, these are super uncommon outside of the Snowlands. They’re the best airships, period.”I could see why Awen was excited. The ship reminded me a bit of pictures of old World War Two aircraft. Compared to this, every other airship I’d seen had more in common with a Blériot or a Wright Brothers’ aircraft.The front of the ship lacked a figurehead, instead, the metal wrapped around to a semi-enclosed turret with a fixed crossbow mounted on a ring. It looked as if someone could stand inside and turn all the way around while aiming the bow. The crossbow was also... high-tech wasn’t the right word for it, but I couldn’t think of anything better. It had big metal bars and a box under it, with a large, visible spring and a chain with linked-together bolts dangling from the side.Behind that, the ship was mostly enclosed until the larger section at the rear where a wheel sat in a tiny booth with glass around it and there was some walking space to access the posts and winches the ship likely needed to tie itself at dock.The rear of the ship contained a mostly-enclosed propeller. There were openings around it to suck air out from the front and all the way to the propeller itself.“Oh, look at that!” Awen cooed as she rode closer. She jumped off her pony, leaving Amaryllis to catch the reins. “The air is pulled through those vents on the underside, see, and I bet they’ll pass next to the engine. Not only pulling air through, but using it for cooling! It’s so simple, but so clever!”I dismounted my pony, then gave its reins to Amaryllis, who stared at them, and the other reins, then huffed a very clear “Why am I taking care of these?” huff.“What kind of metal is this?” Awen asked as she tapped the skin of the ship with a knuckle to produce a hollow clunk. “Even tin would make this way too heavy.”“Aluminium?” I asked. “It’s very light and pretty strong. They use it for airplanes where I’m from, I think.”“Oh... but how did they shape it like this? Is every single part cast individually? Unless they have a whole factory making just this kind of skiff, that’s a lot of work. It doesn’t look hammered.”I watched Awen go. It was cute how enthusiastic she was about the mysterious Snowlander ship.While she poked and prodded at it, I walked around the ship and took in its position. There were three large landing gear deployed below and sunk into the mud a little. One looked a bit bent, as if the landing was rougher than ideal, but they weren’t broken, I didn’t think. So the ship didn’t crash.“Is there anyone in there?!” I called out, hands around my mouth.My friends paused. I don’t think they’d considered that possibility.Noone made a sound, so if someone was hiding in the ship, well, then they were hiding, not just waiting onboard.“There’s a ladder here!” Awen said.She’d found a panel on the side of the ship which could be opened. It revealed two ladders, one mounted to the hull, and another on rails which dropped with a clack and stopped half a metre off the ground.Awen was the first to climb aboard, but the rest of us followed soon after, with Amaryllis taking up the rear since she had to tie the ponies to a stake.The ship’s interior was a lot sleeker than any ship I’d seen, with wooden floors and walls that were padded with leather. Some of the walls had little cabinets built into them for tools and supplies. The ship was too small to have any more than the top deck, but there was a set of trapdoors that Awen pulled open to access the engine below the command console.The console, with the wheel at the back of it, was in the centre. There was a whole heap of levers and gauges within easy reach. It looked like the sails could all be controlled from that one place by a single pilot.In front of it was the covered section of the hull, which looked like a tight tunnel all the way to the crossbow emplacement at the very front. I poked my head in. There were bunks along the sides, and a tiny compact kitchen and sitting area.Something felt off about the ship but I didn’t figure out what until I came to stand behind the wheel. This was a ship designed for someone taller than I was. The bunks below were like that too. About as wide as a normal one-person bunk, but longer.Whomever had built this thing knew how to pack every necessity in tightly.“Pirates,” Calamity said, pulling me out of my reverie. He was looking up, towards a flag hooked to a ladder that would have reached the balloon if it hadn't collapsed. The flag was black, with a grinning skull.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Finders Keepers
Chapter Three Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Finders Keepers “So, how bad is it?” I asked as Awen pulled herself out of the engine bay. She had a bit of grease on the tip of her nose and some sweat on her brow, but she looked happy all the same.“It’s fantastic,” Awen said. “It’s also so, so simple. Well, no, it’s complicated, so many little parts interacting, but it’s like whoever designed it wanted every part to be easily replaceable. I think I could make half the parts here out of glass and they’d still work. Nothing’s under a lot of strain when everything’s operating properly. There’s nothing new here, exactly, it’s all just executed so cleanly.”“That’s nice,” Amaryllis said. Usually when she said that it was sarcastic, but this time it didn’t sound that way. “But will the ship work?”“Oh,” Awen said. She pulled out a hankie to wipe her nose, but before she could I knelt down, licked my thumb, and rubbed the grease off with a bit of Cleaning magic. She made a face before replying. “If we can get the balloon refilled, then yes. Even without, I think this one can fly, though it’ll be under a lot of strain and we might not get far on the fuel we have.”“Flight-capable without a bouyancy device?” Amaryllis asked. “That’s impressive. We’ve been trying to crack that one for a while, but we always run into issues, at least when it comes to anything larger than a raft. You need a lot of fuel to manage it, which means more weight, which means bigger engines, which means more fuel.”Awen nodded. “They’ve figured it out here. Which I guess isn’t too surprising, the Snowlanders are supposed to be some of the best mechanics around, and it shows. I don’t even think this was a mass-produced ship. It’s got a few little personal touches that I wouldn’t expect from something being built in a factory.”Artisanal ship crafters? That was neat. The more I heard about these Snowlanders, the more I wanted to visit them. Although, the flag still concerned me. “Nothing piratical in there, right?” I asked.Awen shook her head. “I don’t think a motor can be piratical.”Calamity had found a seat atop the covered part of the hull. Now that I was thinking about it, the ship was kind of shaped like a very sharp shoe with a hole on the end. “So, are we going to leave this here? Seems a shame to leave a working airship behind.”“Airboat, technically,” Amaryllis pointed out. “And... yes, actually, you’re correct. Under most international treaties, capturing a pirate’s vessel means that the vessel is now, in part, your property. You have a legal duty to communicate with its previous owners in most countries, whereby they have the right to purchase it from you at half its market value. Which should be covered by any halfway competent insurance. So, having technically captured this vessel, we can lay a legal claim on it.”“Really?” I asked. “We didn’t even beat the pirates ourselves though, so would that be fair?”“Broccoli, the nice thing about pirates is that they don’t show up in court to argue with you,” Amaryllis said.I pouted, a bit of warmth clinging to my cheeks. “Okay, fine,” I said. “It still feels wrong to just up and take this ship.”“Take a quarter of it,” Calamity said.We glanced up to him and the catboy grinned a very Cheshire grin. “We are, of course, splitting the find four ways, right? It’s only fair.”I nodded. “Yup, that’s true.”He blinked. “You’re not going to argue it?”“No, it’s fair, why would I?” I asked. “Besides, without your help we wouldn’t be here. Did you want me to teach you a bit about handling a ship? I’m not an expert yet, but I think I can qualify as an experienced novice.”“Oh, I’d like that, sure,” Calamity said. “But if we’re going to take this thing up, how’re your sylph friends going to reach us?”“We could reach them in midair,” Amaryllis said. “It might even simplify things greatly.”Calamity nodded along. He was clearly excited, but then his shoulders fell. “We can’t. The ponies.” He gestured off to the side where the three ponies we’d ridden along were grazing at some of the taller grass.“Oh, right,” I said. “What do we do with the ponies? Could we bring them aboard?”Amaryllis wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know about that. Most ships that carry livestock are designed around the idea that they’ll have to carry livestock, with stables and cages that have straps designed to hold them in place without too much motion.”“This ship should be able to lift them,” Awen said. “They’re heavy, but not past the total load we could carry.”I looked over at the ponies, who were just happily munching along. “They seem pretty tame.”“I’ve got a skill that'll keep them from panicking,” Calamity said. “We can tie ‘em up here, and maybe cover their eyes, just in case. They won’t mind the noise, I don’t think.”I was pretty sure that Calamity just really wanted to ride on the airship. “What would we need to do?” I asked Awen.She gestured to the balloon. “It’s deflated, but not entirely. So we need to look for holes, and if there are any, we need to plug them. Then we need to inflate the balloon. There’s a pair of tanks under the hull, I’m guessing they’re filled with whatever the Snowlanders use for their buoyancy.”“It’s a mixture of helium and a few magical gases,” Amaryllis said. “They keep the formula somewhat hidden, but not as hidden as their methods for sourcing helium.”It made sense. Helium was pretty much the best gas for airships, with hydrogen being a bit way too explosive and other gases having their own problems. If the Snowlanders had easy access to helium, that would give them a leg up. Then again, looking at the little ship, it was clear that helium wasn’t their only advantage. I had no idea what the magical stuff was, but it didn’t seem as rare, somehow?The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.I wasn’t that well-versed in history and stuff, but it was pretty clear that this vehicle was a few decades ahead of any other airship I’d seen so far. “Have the Snowlanders always been so far ahead?” I asked.“Technology-wise?” Awen asked. She nodded. “I think so. I remember uncle talking about them when I was young.”“But that was a few years ago,” I pointed out. “Have others caught up?”“It takes time to catch up,” Amaryllis said. “Time which they’ve used to progress even more. But the technological edge won’t hold forever. The Snowlands have plenty of resources, but they’re cold and rather hostile at the best of times. In a few decades we’ll catch up to them, I’m sure.”“Yeah,” I said. Then I gestured to the ponies. “So, are we going to get them aboard?”As it turned out, it wasn’t that simple, but my friends weren’t against the idea. Awen had Calamity and I clambering over the balloon, looking for rips or tears while she prepped other things aboard the ship and Amaryllis sent a message to the sylph with our new location and the new information we’d found.That the pirate idea was entirely verified (the not-quite-jolly-roger was a dead giveaway) was troubling. More troubling was that the pirates had access to some really high-tech Snowlander ships.“Found one!” Calamity said. He was poking a finger through a fist-sized hole in the tarp.As it turned out, there was a second hole on the opposite end.“It looked like the balloon got pierced through,” Awen said as she brought out a patching kit from one of the compartments. “Maybe a magical attack, or a ballistae bolt. It doesn’t look like it’s a big enough hole to ruin the ship, but it would have made it lose altitude.”“So they landed out here and abandoned it,” I guessed. “But why?”“Does it matter? It’s good for us, and too bad for them!” Calamity cheered.Patching the two holes took a good half-hour, even with Awen helping. The stuff the ship had for hole-patches was mostly tarp strips with glue on one side covered in a thin piece of paper. By using fire-magic on the paper (and burning it off) the glue became warm and very, very sticky, it could then be slapped over the hole and pressed in while it dried. The instructions called for cold wind or ice mana to be pushed against the surface, which Amaryllis helped with since she had the easiest time converting her mana to other aspects.Once I cleared the glue off of our equipment-it really was terribly sticky-we set to reinflating the balloon.“We don’t have enough gases to fill the balloon entirely,” Awen said. “We’re going to have to mix in normal air.”In the end, we inflated the balloon with what gases the ship had, then Awen and I undid the rather heavy tanks and tossed them off the side. They were designed to be easy to remove, so it wasn’t a big deal, and the weight difference would help.After that, Awen set up a pump to fill the rest of the balloon’s space with normal air while Calamity and I coaxed the ponies aboard up a lowered gangplank and then convinced them to lay down onto some blankets while we fed them the rest of the grain we’d brought.I could see why Amaryllis didn’t like the idea of bringing them aboard. They took up a lot of space, and if they panicked, then things would get really complicated really fast.“I think our first stop will have to be somewhere to bring the ponies,” I said.“We can return to the hunter’s,” Calamity said. “There’s a fairly large camp. It might have some supplies we need to keep this boat going too. I think a few of the machines we have at the camp use the same kind of fuel.”With that semblance of a plan in place, we spent the rest of the morning preparing to fly. There was probably a lot less to do to get this ship airborne than, say, the Beaver needed to prepare, but the ship was unfamiliar to us, and we didn’t have nearly as big a crew to help set things up.Awen got the engine started, then, with a box secured to the floor to give her some height, came to stand behind the wheel. “Alright. All hands on deck. Gravity engine to half and throttle at idle. Broccoli, sails to neutral. Amaryllis, Calamity, check the rudder sails and start winching the anchor up.”I snapped a salute to Awen, which lit up her cheeks brilliantly. “Aye, aye, Captain Awen!”“Awa! I’d much rather be the first mate, actually.”“Can I be the captain?” Calamity asked.“You don’t have the hat for it,” I replied. Cowboy hats were cool, but not what you were looking for when about to pilot an airship. Not nearly enough feathers.“This is a boat,” Amaryllis argued. “Which means we have no need for a skipper. Now, will we sit here and argue or are we going to get this tub into the air?”Calamity spun the winch which brought up the ship’s anchors, and Amaryllis and I busied ourselves adjusting the sails, which was surprisingly easy. They were smaller than those on the Beaver Cleaver so we didn’t need nearly as much effort to get them deployed and angled correctly.Awen kicked up the juice on the gravity engine, and then for just a moment, we hovered on the spot. I grinned at the familiar but still strange feeling of momentary weightlessness before we started to climb up very gently.“Engine seems buoyant at... sixty-four percent,” Awen said.“Is that good?”“It’s not exactly fuel-efficient,” Awen said, “but it’s enough to let us move, if slowly.”We rose up a few dozen metres, then Awen slowed the ascent down so that we were hovering on the spot.“Okay,” I said as I glanced over the edge. “Now we only have one more thing to do. What do we name this ship?”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty — Redemption Arc
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty — Redemption Arc “Awa, the, um, Smooth Sailing,” Awen proposed.I thought about it for a moment. It wasn’t a bad name. Very sweet. Cute, even! But I wasn’t entirely sure if it fit the ship. It was too metallic and sharp for that name, maybe.“And here I thought you’d ask to name it something like the Rose’s Lips, or something,” Amaryllis said.Awen blushed while a storm of denying “awas!” escaped her.“Am I missing something there?” Calamity asked. “By the way, clearly this beauty ought to be called something properly enticing. The Dagger or maybe the Sky Meowderer.”“I’m not sure about that last one,” I said. “What about the Friend-Ship?” I asked.“Vetoed,” Amaryllis said. “We won’t abide pun names. We could call it something like the... hmm, it’s a warship. The Strongly Worded Letter?”Awen made a noise that was very close to being a huff. Was she trying to get back at Amaryllis? “That’s too long. It wouldn’t fit on the side. And Broccoli, this is a boat more than a ship.”“I’m guessing the Friendboat is out too?” I asked.I got three nods in reply.“We need something a bit more fierce than that,” Calamity said. “Like some sorta predatory animal?”“The Angry Moose?” I tried.Amaryllis frowned. “What in the World is a moose?”“Is it like a mouse?” Awen asked.I shook my head and gave up on the name. “No, nevermind.”“Well, how about the Hermeowne?” Calamity asked. “It’s the name of this girl I was sweet on for a while.”“Let’s not name our new boat after one of your no doubt many failed romantic conquests,” Amaryllis said.“Maybe we can name it after something it is?” I asked. I trimmed the sails a bit. We were picking up some speed, but I was pretty sure we didn’t want to be moving quite so quickly.Awen clapped her hands. “Ah! I know. It was a pirate boat before, wasn’t it? And now it’s ours, and we’re the opposite of pirates. Or near enough. So the vessel’s being reformed. We could call it the Redemption!”“That’s properly intimidating,” Calamity said. “I vote aye on that one.”Amaryllis considered it for a moment before replying. “It’s suitable.”“I like it!” I chimed in. It was also nice that everyone seemed to agree about the ship’s name too.With that done, we got back to work piloting the newly named Redemptionacross the grassy plains. Awen stood fixed at the back of the wheel for a while while testing the various controls, but eventually she called me over to take the wheel. I had the Captaining skill, which was the only airship-related skill anyone in our group had, at least as far as piloting a ship went.It didn’t take long for me to get a hang of the controls. They reminded me a bit of a car’s, actually, but without the foot-pedals. There were airbrakes in the form of flaps that could be pulled up, and the throttle wasn’t any more complicated than the throttle on a riding lawn-mower.Amaryllis and Awen checked our position, with Calamity giving a few pointers towards local landmarks, and then we turned south and west a bit, straight towards the hunter’s camp.If we were going to keep the ship, we obviously needed to get the ponies somewhere safe, and we’d need supplies in any case. Once we were prepared, we could head back out and meet our sylph friends up in the air and figure out where to go from there.I was a smidge worried about that last part, actually.The diplomats had been taken by pirates. Actual, hardened pirates. They hadn’t issued any ransoms that I knew of, which was worrisome. Were they being treated well? They’d better be! Pirates were cool and all, but only the nice sort who worked to destabilise mean governments and spread art that was otherwise unavailable.The Redemption was a pretty nice boat. It didn’t fly as evenly as the Beaver Cleaver. I had to fight it to stay even, and every big gust of wind sent us flying off track. Once we skimmed a bit close to the top of a hill which had us dialling back the speed, just in case.Still, it made up for its strange flight characteristics by being pretty zippy and manouvrable. With a practised pilot at the wheel and a few good crewmates, I was certain the Redemption could fly circles around some of the larger airships I’d seen.“Smoke ahead and... uh, which one is right?” Calamity asked.“Starboard,” Amaryllis replied. “I see it. About forty degrees, three klicks as the harpy flies. We might want to slow down. I imagine the hunters below would rather we come in slowly and peacefully rather than spook their horses.”“A few of them are pretty good shots,” Calamity said. “Might turn us into pincushions before we have time to complain.”I pulled back on the throttle until we were basically only moving on momentum. I turned us so that we weren’t pointing right at the hunter’s camp, which meant I could actually see it. The Redeemed’s bow was too tall for me to see out ahead, which was maybe something of a design flaw. As we turned a smidge, Icould make out the camp. Dozens of tents, some carts, and plenty of people moving around, most of them atop a wide hill surrounded by pressed-down grass.“Ahoy!” Calamity called as he hung off the side of the boat and waved his hat about.His pals below shouted back, some waving, others masking their eyes from the sun to see us better as we circled the camp in a tight loop and settled down next to the camp. Awen undid the latch on the anchor and a pair of chains rattled out of the Redeemed’s rear to hold us in place.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.We lowered the landing gear and gently reduced the strength on the gravity generator until the boat touched down with a lurch. “I think that went pretty well, for a maiden flight,” I said.“It wasn’t a maiden flight,” Amaryllis said. “Unless you consider it this crew’s in which case... it still wouldn’t count.”I puffed my cheeks out. “Well, I don’t know what it is then, but it went well. The boat handled things with no trouble.”“We burned a lot of fuel,” Awen said. She closed one of the engine compartments with a hard thump. “We wouldn’t have been able to fly for much longer. Maybe another hour or two?”“We’ll have to see about that,” Calamity said with a grin. Then he glanced over the railings and grinned. “Heya there, Savan! Come to see my brand new ship?”A familiar cat-like head poked up from the edge of the ship. Savan was gripping onto the railing, her legs around one of the anchor chains. “Pretty,” she said. “But you can’t eat ships, Calamity.”“I know, but I bet you can hunt all sorts of things from the skies,” he replied. “Is everyone at the camp?”Saven rolled up onto the edge, then bounced to her feet. She looked about as she spoke, obviously curious, “Two of the teams aren’t back yet. We lost a pony to a cockatrice. It stared into its eyes and Mey was catapulted off when it dropped. But she’s fine.”“Hah! I’d’ve loved to see that,” Calamity said. “Too bad about the pony. Speaking of which, want to help me unload these three?”With Savan helping us, then the other catpeople and cervid from the camp who came to loiter around, it wasn’t too complicated to unload the ponies. Calamity was the hero of the hour. He told a greatly exaggerated story about us braving the storm and discovering huge destroyed airships, then the four of us valiantly working together to piece the Redemption back into working order.The story was mostly truthful, at least in the broad strokes. I would have complained, but Calamity was having fun, and his hunter friends seemed happy to rib and call him out for exaggerating.I turned to Amaryllis and Awen once we were all back on firm ground. “Now what?” I asked.“Now we ensure that no one steals our ship from us without proper remuneration,” Amaryllis said. “And we need to relay our location to the sylph again. They might not want to meet in a place with so many strangers.”“We could hunt for more clues,” Awen suggested.We turned to her, and she squirmed."We know the diplomats were attacked by pirates, but at that point the trail goes cold."“That seems like a good idea to me,” I said. “We need supplies, too.”“I can help with that.” The three of us jumped and turned to find Savan standing really close to us. She grinned. “I know where to find all the stuff. What are you looking for?”“Uh, fuel, mostly,” Awen said.Savan blinked. “I don’t know how to find that stuff,” she admitted. “But I know the people to ask. Come on!”With that, Savan led us towards the camp proper. It was a loose collection of tents, some large, some small, with a few buildings made of wood and tarps set up here and there and some carriages parked on the flatter ground that had little homes built atop them. It looked like a few of those more temporary buildings had been knocked down by the storm, but they were being fixed in quick order.There was a large grazing area to one side surrounded by a picket-and-rope fence where horses and ponies were plucking at the grass, and a few roads cut through the camp. They were all made of stomped dirt, packed down by hundreds of passing hunters.A few of the temporary buildings stood out. One had a mobile forge in it where a pair of cervid were working the bellows while another held tongs clenching a red-hot bit of metal. Next to that was a small shop with a cat person on a carpet surrounded by things for sale. Finally, Savan brought us to a small general store of sorts. She pushed the tent-flap door aside and stuck her head in. “Hello? Do you sell fuel?”We ended up meeting a nice elderly human of all things who didn’t have much airship fuel, but who did have some oils that Awen said would work in a pinch.Then we crossed over to a set of tents set downwind of the camp where hunters were working at butchering their catch. They were more than willing to sell us a few tankfuls of grease and fat which Awen had some use for.“We won’t have enough to get far, but this is more than what we had to begin with,” Awen said as we lugged the tanks back to the airship.On our way back, we met with Calamity who seemed to have tired out his buddies with his stories. “Heya. So, are we heading out again?”“Not quite yet,” Amaryllis said. “We wanted to see if anyone here knows anything about the pirates.”“You’ll want to chat with old lady Three Hooves then,” he said with confidence. “Come on, she knows everything and everyone. If anyone knows anything, it’ll be her.”We finished storing what we’d picked up on the ship, and Awen volunteered to stay behind. She wanted to turn some of the blubber we’d bought into oil, which meant she needed to create a little machine to get everything going.Calamity led us up the camp’s hill towards the topmost part where the nicer carriages were parked. One of those had its sides open to reveal an old cervid woman resting on three legs atop a stack of well-worn cushions and blankets. For all her age, she looked like a tough old cookie, especially with the eyepatch covering half her face.“What sorta trouble did you bring me here today, Calamity?” she asked.“Hello, Three Hooves,” he said with a bit of a bow. “Just wanted to introduce my new friends. This is Broccoli, and this is Amaryllis. They had a few questions you might be able to get to the bottom of.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-One — A Little Bird Told Me
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-One — A Little Bird Told Me “Hello!” I said with a little wave to the old cervid lady. I wondered if it would be impolite to ask about her missing limb and the eyepatch she was wearing. It probably would be, but I bet there was an interesting story behind that. Then again, maybe those weren’t the best of memories, and it wouldn’t be nice to bring it up.“Hello,” Three Hooves said. She cracked a smile for us. “So, what are your friends going to ask me about, hmm, Calamity?”“Ah, well, I think I maybe ought to let them talk to nya,” he said before backing up a step.I shared a look with Amaryllis, and she tilted her head a tiny bit towards me. I nodded back and then faced Three Hooves. “We just have a few questions,” I said. “My friends and I came over here looking for some lost ships.”“Not many ships in the plains,” Three Hooves said.“They were airships. Apparently they got blown off course and ended up passing by a bit to the north of here. Uh, I don’t actually know how far away, exactly, but yeah. Calamity helped us find them.”“That’s hardly surprising. He’s lived his life with his head in the clouds, that one.”Calamity cleared his throat and looked a bit peevish about that, but I suspected that maybe it was a little true.“Oh, don’t lose a shoenail about it,” Three Hooves said. “You know it’s true. Now, ships. Did you find what you were looking for?”“Kinda,” I said. “We found crashed ships, some of those we were looking for, but not all of them. We also found a smaller boat that wasn’t part of those. Uh, it’s a pirate’s boat, but there weren’t any pirates around, so I guess it’s ours now. Well, ours and Calamity’s.”“Oh-hoh, well, that’s one of his dreams come true,” Three Hooves said. “I imagine you want to know what we know about the fight?”“That would be nice,” I said. “But more than that, I think we want to know about the pirates. They had to be pretty well-equipped, and that means a lot of people working for them, which means a big group. Maybe you know something?”The older cervid rubbed at her chin in thought, then nodded along. “I keep abreast of most things. This old body of mine isn’t what it used to be, but my mind’s never been sharper. I listen, you see. Something you younger folk aren’t too apt to do, I’ve noticed.”I pouted. “Have you seen my ears, ma’am, I’m perfectly good at listening.”“Hah! Maybe you are, at that. We’ll see. Now, as I was saying. I listen to folk’s problems and whip people about to get things done. I haven’t heard of these pirates of yours, and if they were recruiting, I’d have heard it. For that matter, I know what it’s like feeding a lot of folk and taking care of equipment. It’s a big job, takes all sorts of people and things. I can tell you that there’s nothing like that in the plains. How many ships are you talking about?”I glanced at Amaryllis, she’d know the exact numbers better. “At least six vessels. Possibly more than that waiting in ambush. We’re talking six decently sized ships, with crews of between ten and thirty aboard.”“And I imagine they’d need more folk back where they’re from, just like the hunters need camp folk,” Three Hooves said. “So call it two hundred folk, more or less. No, a group that big would leave a mark on the plains. Prices would have been different at the fort too if they were supplying from there.”“So you think that the pirates aren’t getting supplied from here?” I asked to confirm.“They’re pirates, couldn’t they just steal what they need?” Calamity asked.Three Hooves gave him a look which had his mouth clamping shut. “Fool boy, if they stole what they needed, the price of those goods would still go up. More so, even. Merchants aren’t keen on banditry. We would have more guards being hired to patrol the city and escort merchant caravans. Didn’t notice anything of the sort this season, so they’re getting their things from elsewhere.”“That leaves the north, and Sylphfree,” Amaryllis said. “Or a long trade from the harpy mountains. Well, thank you, that eliminates a lot of possibilities. We might just run into some pirates that are either state-funded by the Snowlands, or who are hard-up for resources after buying good Snowlander ships.”“You're welcome,” Three Hooves said. “Now, I’m not quite done with you. See, I’ve heard things that I haven’t had time to tell yet, so do yourselves a favour and listen to me for a minute.”We all agreed and came closer to listen properly.“There’s a story that’s been circulating around for a while now. I hadn’t decided if it was hearsay or some silly overblown rumour, but I’m starting to suspect that there’s a grain of truth to it all. That’s often how these things are. Stories of a pirate lord who has travelled from the far west, chased by the knights of Pyrowalk across the Endless Swells to come and settle on the edges of our lands.”“We don’t hear too much about the Pyrowalk Empire,” Amaryllis said. At Calamity’s confused look, she continued. “It’s far to the west, across the Moonstruck Sea, with the Endless Swells between us and them. They’re old. Ancient, even. Mostly human, but not like Mattergrove. Richer, more set in their ways, I think.”Three Hooves hummed. “As you say, little word of those distant places reaches us. This pirate lord might hail from there, but rumour has it he’s come here to escape the wrath of his old lords and to make a new name for himself in our lands. It’s been quiet, but some people have followed the rumours. Not the average worker either. People with very particular trades from the western end of the Trenten Flat’s land.”“What’s his name?” I asked, both as tantalised and curious as a bun could be.“Commodore Megumi. The Sky Killer.”“Whoa,” I said. That was a scary sounding name. They even had a cool title! I didn’t have one of those. I kinda wished I did, though maybe not something too close to the Sky Killer.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Amaryllis crossed her arms. “What do you know about this ‘Commodore Megumi?’” she asked.“Very little,” Three Hooves admitted. “News from so far afield doesn’t make it here, like I've said. But it’s a name, and there’s a reputation attached to it. He’s supposed to be a terror in the skies. A man who has reached the third tier, at least.”So he was at or over level thirty, and had two other classes to boot. That was a lot of skills with a lot of potential synergies. Not to mention a lot of health and stamina and all of those other bonuses to go with it. Rainnewt was around that level, I thought, and Bastion too.“Thanks,” I said to Three Hooves. “Just knowing who we’re dealing with will be worth a lot.” I bet that the sylph had a file or two on him, even if he was located far, far away from their mountains. They seemed the sort to keep tabs on strong people, just on principle.Three Hooves nodded along. “I wish you the best. Though I do hope you won’t be running headlong into trouble. Though, if Calamity’s coming along, that might well be a moot point. Boy always loved making a mess, hmm?”“Hey meow, I’ve matured a pinch since my younger days,” Calamity said. But he said it while lowering the brim of his hat so that Three Hooves couldn’t see his eyes, which cast some doubt on his assertion.“Well, I haven’t matured and I don’t plan on it,” I said. “But I think I still know better than to just run up to someone called Sky Killer and cause a fuss.”"No, you'd run up to him and ask him to be your friend." Amaryllis grumbled. She turned to Three Hooves and gave the woman a quick bow from the waist. “Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate the information. Rest assured we’ll put it to good use.”With that, we said our goodbyes and then stepped back and away from Three Hooves’ carriage to a spot where we could chat with a bit more privacy. The camp was a busy hive of activity, especially since another group of gatherers were returning with all the goodies they’d found on the plains.“So, we need to tell Sylphfree about Commodore Megumi,” I said.“Obviously,” Amaryllis said. “They might be able to relay things back to us. Something’s fishy about all of this though. An infamous sky-pirate moving to the Snowlands just in time to cause trouble for the harpy delegation?”“Nya think it’s suspicious?” Calamity asked.Amaryllis nodded. “Of course it is. The delegation was a big deal. It was well-guarded, more so than any normal trade convoy, and yet it probably carried less valuables than the average trading ship... well, perhaps it did. There’s no accounting for what a bunch of nobles would think to bring along, but those kinds of goods can be difficult to fence.”“But the nobles themselves are worth something, no?” Calamity asked.“Yes, that’s true. It could just be a pirate, new to the area, trying to establish themselves as a big player by capturing an important and valuable bounty. But something tells me that’s not the whole of it. The Redemption would be worth as much as a small corvette under the right conditions. If the entire pirate fleet is made up of valuable ships like that, then they’re not spoiling for more riches. They aren't advertising their deeds, so it's probably not a play for reputation or fear-mongering. Which leaves... politics.”“Oh no,” I said. I’d gotten my fill of those lately. I was hoping that our secretive adventures in a foreign land at the behest of a foreign king to save foreign nobles would remain nice and non-political.“Well, I ain’t know nothing about that,” Calamity said. He stood up taller, which wasn’t all that tall, really, and puffed his chest out. “But as one-quarter captain of the RedemptionI think I ought to accompany you on your quest. To keep my investment safe, nya see?”Amaryllis huffed the sort of huff that was almost a laugh. “Uh-huh. I’m sure you’re not coming along because you have misplaced dreams about fighting sky pirates over the prairie like some dashing prince out of a children's book.”“More of a dashing rogue than a prince, really,” he said with a grin. “But I wouldn’t mind meeting a princess or two.”“Eh, princesses are mostly just normal girls,” I said. “They run around, plot crimes, and do shadowy things in secret just like any other girl.”Calamity blinked. “I think we’ve been spending time around a different quality of girl, you and me.”I glanced at Amaryllis, then gave her a shrug. “I’m okay with Calamity coming. He seems strong, and I think we’re going to need every friend we can find if we end up having to fight an entire crew of sky pirates.”Amaryllis shook her head. “I’m voting nay. He’s another variable to calculate, and there's no guarantee he will be useful.”“Hey now,” he said.“You were a great help in the plains,” Amaryllis placated. “But I don’t know if your skills will translate well to the sort of trouble we tend to land ourselves in. We can let Awen cast the deciding vote.”Calamity grumbled, but I had the impression he thought the criticism was fair enough.We returned to the Redemption which was still parked next to the camp. A few tents had been moved away, and a few more had popped up nearby. It looked like the camp was constantly changing as new people showed up and others ran off. The airship was a novel change though, judging by the people giving it curious looks.When we found Awen, she was on the ship’s deck with a complex device in front of her that was burning some lamp fuel to heat up a glass bulb which had some liquid pouring into a container to one side. It looked dangerous, but Awen was being pretty casual about it.When we asked her for her vote, she gave Calamity a long, searching look, then shrugged. “Yeah, okay.”That, of course, meant that it was time for a round of congratulatory and celebratory hugs!
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Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Two — Message Delivered
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Two — Message Delivered Before we could take off again, I had to do a few quick things. The Redemption had a bunch of supplies on board, but we were lacking a lot of essentials. Water wasn’t as much of a problem on the ground when there were plenty of streams to draw from, but in the air we’d have to use magic to pull water out of the air and that was both tiring and inefficient... also I couldn’t do that spell yet.Food was also a minor concern. We had plenty of hardtack and such, and some sylph MREs still, but those weren’t exactly tasty.Other than that, we needed a few knick-knacks to make the ship feel more like a living space, like a small carpet before entering the crew compartment so that we wouldn’t track mud in.With that in mind, and with Awen telling us that while her oil-making gizmo was working it was also really slow, I checked my money pouch to make sure I had a good amount of change, then I set off.Amaryllis stayed behind to contact Sylphfree and Calamity was sitting on the ship, looking around and sighing wistfully.It was weird, heading out all on my own. A few metres away from the Redemption and I paused, looking back at the ship and second-guessing myself. Did I really need to head out? I could stay with my friends...But no, they’d be fine without Broccoli for a few minutes. And I’d be okay too. It wasn’t like I’d lose sight of them, what with the airship’s balloon towering above the camp.So I headed out, though maybe with a bit of a hurried pep to my step.The first stop was the small market-ish part of the camp. The hunters didn’t seem to have much use for a market, what with most of them being here as part of a job, but there were still a few carriages of hangers-on who came with supplies and stuff to sell to a hunter in need at a steep mark-up.That’s where I found most of the things I was looking for. Different fruits and grains wrapped in a sort of papery leaf and tied up with long strips of tough grass, a tiny bit of salted meat, because I was pretty sure Calamity ate meat and so did my friends.I got lost looking over some pelts, then poked at a big bucket full of long, sharp-tipped feathers that were plucked from a cockatrice. They were part feather, part scale, almost.With a bulging bag full of stuff, I started to head back to the ship when I overheard two cervid talking.It wasn’t my fault that I eavesdropped. With ears as big as mine that was naturally going to happen, whether I wanted it to or not. Most of the time I just ignored it, or listened in on tiny snippets of other’s lives, aware, in that little moment, that they had entire lives going on that I wasn’t part of, a whole heap of stories I hadn’t heard, from the mundane to the extraordinary.“Come on, I can help,” a rather small cervid said. He didn’t look young, at a glance— he just wasn't a very big guy. He was tailing after a cervid woman with a thich gambeson on and with a few spears hooked to her side.“No, Deiter, you’ll only get yourself in trouble.”I blinked. “Wait, Deiter?” I asked.The couple were deeper into the camp already, so I had to jog to catch up to them. It looked like the girl Deiter was talking to was giving him an earful.“Hey! Sorry, wait up, please!” I called out. The two of them half-turned, as if to see if I was talking to them. I bounced up ahead of them and smiled my best smile. “Hi! Sorry, my name’s Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch, and I was recently over at, uh, Riverstart.”Deiter winced, hard. It was almost a physical blow the way he flinched back. His companion though didn’t seem to notice. “Yes, and?” she asked.“Right, sorry. While we were there we ran into this... nice... lady who was looking for Deiter.”The cervid woman quirked an eyebrow, then half-turned to Deiter. “A wife you haven't told me about?” she asked. She didn’t sound angry, so I imagined they weren’t in a relationship.“What? World no! That’s probably my mother. She, ah, lives in Riverstart,” he said. “Just a quiet old homebody, wouldn’t disturb a fly.”He was really bad at lying.“Anyway, she was worried, so she asked that if anyone saw you, they’d, uh, ask that you write a letter or something. I understand that sometimes you want to make space between you and your family, but if they’re not terrible people, then maybe stay in contact... I guess? I don’t know how families like that work.”He glanced to the side, biting his lip, then seemed to rally himself. "Uh, yeah, sure. I can do that," he said. “Thanks for the message,” he added before slipping past me.I blinked after him, but I wasn’t about to pursue if he clearly didn’t want to continue chatting. I gave a wave in goodbye to the woman he was with, then stepped aside. “Well, that’s not how I expected all of that to get resolved,” I muttered.Maybe the anticlimax was good though. One less thing to worry about. With that done, I hitched up my bag of provisions and headed back to the ship. The day was carrying on, what with all the travelling and exploring we’d been up to.I had picked up some food from the marketplace, not provisions, but already-cooked meals that a cervid chef was preparing over a big cast-iron pot that had to outweigh me twice over.Juggling four bowls (which I had to pay extra for, but I figured they might come in handy,) I returned to the Redemption and climbed up the gangplank onto the ship. “I have lunch!” I called out.That got everyone’s attention.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.We ate sitting on the deck right in front of the wheel, and my friends filled me in on what they’d been up to since I ran off. I, of course, told them about meeting Deiter and how we probably didn’t have to worry about that particular sidequest anymore.“Ah, well, I’ve managed to make a whole gallon of oil, and I think it’s within the engine’s burn tolerance. I don’t really have a way to test that, but mixed in with our other fuel, it should be fine. It only adds up to about a tenth more fuel than what we had to start with, it’s really not a lot.”“So our range is going to be very limited,” I said.Awen nodded. “If we fly high enough, with less wind resistance, and don’t push the engine too much, we might be able to fly for six or seven hours.”“Which won’t even get us a quarter of the way to Sylphfree,” Amaryllis pointed out.“Is that where we’re headed next?” Calamity asked.Amaryllis nodded and tapped the ring Caprica gave us. “The sylph want us back. Besides which, what can we do against a properly large installation of pirates? Invite them out for tea and hope that they’ll give us the delegates back?”“I guess,” I said. I really did want to burst onto the scene like a big hero and save everyone, but Amaryllis was probably right. Just the four of us and one tiny boat wouldn’t exactly win the day when it came to fighting a whole heap of pirates. “So, we’re returning to Sylphfree?”“To Goldpass, actually. It’s in the northernmost end of Sylphfree. A little further on the map than the capital, but with fewer mountains to navigate around it’s actually quite a bit closer,” Amaryllis said.“Ah, we can’t go that far,” Awen said. “Not unless the wind is with us the entire way and we find more gas for the balloon. Or we could walk, I guess.”Amaryllis sniffed. “I thought of that, of course. We’ll be meeting a group of sylphs in mid-air this evening. They’ll track us by the ring. I told them to bring fuel for the Redeemed, and you know how good they are with following instructions. I’ve no doubt they’ll bring plenty.”Well, that settled it. “We should head towards them, then,” I said. “We’ll cut the amount of time it takes to meet them short, and if they don’t show up, then we can always just land as soon as we start running low.”Once lunch was tucked away and we cleared the deck of anything that might get in the way, we were pretty much ready to head out. Calamity asked for just a few minutes to say his goodbyes, and since we weren’t in any big rush, we of course let him climb down the boat and go chat with his friends.He came back soon enough, and I couldn’t tell if he was more sad at the goodbyes or excited to get going. On the ground Savan and a few of the hunters stood by and waved as we weighed anchor, started up the engine, and then lifted off the ground with only the slightest of lurches.We floated straight up for a while, letting the wind carry us as it wanted as long as we were still rising. It was coming in from the south, which was neither good nor bad, really, though it might be troublesome later when we had to head due east.Once we were high enough that the hunters below were nothing more than pinpricks and the air had that familiar chill that came from being so far off the ground, we adjusted the sails and took off east-bound.Calamity asked Awen a question about the ship which launched her into a long-winded, rather one-sided discussion that had too many technical terms for me to follow it entirely. Calamity was listening intently though, and I think he was hoping to learn as much as he could.The flight continued at an easy pace for the next couple of hours. We didn’t want to push the Redemption much, so we allowed the wind to carry us along with just a nudge from the main propeller in the right direction.By the time early evening rolled around I found myself a bit restless behind the wheel while regretting not bringing something a bit warmer to wear.“I see something!” Amaryllis called out from ahead. She was in that little basket at the very front of the ship, with the repeating crossbows. “South a few degrees.” She pointed and I squinted that way.It took a moment, but eventually I caught on to what she was seeing. Three vague forms so far off they were little more than shadowy smears at a higher altitude than we were at.Wyverns? If so, then that was probably the sylph we were supposed to meet. My identify skill marked them as wyverns soon enough, and Awen whipped out her telescope and confirmed that they were being ridden.We adjusted our sails and after checking to see if we still had a good amount of fuel, we picked up the pace and pushed against the wind a bit. Soon enough, we crossed paths with three familiar wyverns.I recognized Greencrest, of course. A girl ought to not forget the first wyvern she flew on. There was Bloodfang too, but the third wyvern wasn’t one I knew. I imagined the rider was different too, though it was hard to tell the riders apart with all the gear they had on to protect them from the cold.“What now?” I asked Amaryllis.“Best to land, I don’t fancy transferring things in midair,” she said.So we landed. It wasn’t hard to find a big, flat space on the open plains. Once we dropped anchors and cut the engine, the wyverns circled around a final time and landed nearby.I saw Winnow pulling down her hood to reveal a professional smile. “When you set out you were on foot. Now you come back with a trophy ship. Paladin Bastion must be right about you three and your capacity for shenanigans.”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Three — Hopping the Border
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Three — Hopping the Border The wyvern riders dismounted and immediately began unpacking the saddles strapped to the almost-dragon’s sides.Winnow was the only wyvern knight I recognized, the other two were new, so once we landed I hopped off the Redemption and bounced over, only stopping once I was just outside of the wyvern’s ‘I can nom you without stretching’ range. Just in case.“Hello!” I cheered. “I’m glad you found us. Was the flight okay?”“It was fine,” Winnow replied. She grunted as she flew up and back and hauled out a large metal can from the satchel she was working on. “We have your fuel, and a few other supplies as well. You’ll be surprised to know this isn’t the first time we have to do a refuelling.”“It isn’t?” I asked.“Oh no, it happens several times a year. Some cheap merchant or noble who wants to show off their ship forgets to bring enough fuel, or because of bad weather an airship will burn a lot more fuel than it accounted for, and it runs out. Then we get sent over to resupply because they landed somewhere too precarious for a proper ship to land.”Winnow handed me the canister. It was a sort of jerry can which sloshed with every motion. “Thanks! I’ll bring this to Awen.”“We have a few other things too. We weren’t sure in what kind of shape the ship you found would be in.”“It’s not that bad. I think it could use a bit of love, but Awen seems excited to get onto that,” I said.Winnow nodded, then looked over at the ship and shook her head. “A proper Snowlander boat. You’re lucky you’ll be escorted, that crossbow emplacement on the front wouldn’t be allowed in civilian hands.”“It wouldn’t?” I asked.“Oh, World no. There’s pages and pages of documentation required to even just carry any kind of large ranged weapon on a ship, let alone having it installed and ready to use like that. The only ships with fixed weapons placement allowed in Sylphfree skies are part of the air force, and if it was up to them, even the wyvern knights would be reduced to delivering strongly worded letters.”I giggled at the mental image of that. The Beaver had Awen’s auto-crossbow on it, but it had been tucked away when we flew to Sylphfree. And Bastion had been onboard to distract the inspectors. Maybe we’d narrowly avoided a heap of trouble there. Or Bastion knew and did us a favour?I made a mental note for later: Extra hugs for Bastion.“So, once we’re back in the air, we just follow you?” I asked.Winnow nodded. “That’s the gist of it. We’ll escort you back to Goldpass. If the wind keeps up, the trip shouldn’t take too long at all. We’ll have to fly the wyverns slow.”“We could stop for the night,” I suggested. “We don’t have a big crew to begin with, and even with the fuel you brought, it might not be enough to coast through the entire night.”Winnow hummed. “We’ll think about it. We’re meant to have you back at Goldpass as soon as possible, but while I’ll always follow my orders I take exception when they fly in the face of proper safety precautions or common sense. If slow is safer, then slow it will be.”With the gangplank lowered it wasn’t hard to get the fuel aboard. It was exactly what Awen was hoping for, and she recruited Calamity to help her empty the can into the ship’s bunker-which is what she called the tank under the deck where the fuel went.The other wyvern knights unloaded a few more cans and I hopped over to help them carry the containers aboard. With two cans per wyvern we actually had enough to fill the bunker right up to the quarter mark.“We should be able to make it all the way, I think,” Awen said. Then she turned towards me and locked her eyes onto mine. “But we absolutely can’t head off in another direction for a side quest.”“Why are you giving me that look?” I asked.Amaryllis sniffed, which was like a huff, but even more disdainful somehow.“Hey!”“If that’s all,” Winnow said past our team drama. “We’ll be taking off again. If you need to communicate, you should have some flags aboard, right?”“Oh, we do,” Awen said. “Ah, but they’re Snowlander. I don’t know if they’re the same?” We ended up checking, because even Amaryllis wasn’t sure, but as it turned out semaphore flags were pretty much international, which I supposed made sense. It wasn’t exactly a language with its own dialects and nuances.Winnow gave us a quick salute, then she and the other wyvern knights quickly inspected their barding, mounted up, and took off.Getting the Redemption up into the air was a bit more involved, but we weighed anchor and started up the engine without too much trouble. I helped trim the sails, then got behind the wheel again. I kinda missed Clive. The old harpy knew how to pilot so well that I found myself wishing he were here to point out what I was doing wrong.In fact, I missed the Beaver Cleaver as a whole. The ship had become home at some point, though I guess that was bound to happen. You could only have so many adventures, share so many meals, and sleep in one place so much before it inevitably became ‘home.’The Redemption felt different, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It’d become part of our family or it wouldn’t. Time would tell.“Broccoli, why are you hugging the wheel?” Amaryllis asked.“Reasons,” I said.The flight was pretty easy. The wind turned a little and was coming almost directly from behind us, which just made us move a bit faster. I was worried about the poor wyverns, of course, but they just floated off way above us and eventually started to fly in long ovals that intercepted our flight path and then ranged out ahead.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.As night came around we dipped back down and found a place to settle behind a few big hills which conveniently kept the wind at bay. The Redemption had enough buoyancy that we could stay afloat without doing more than idling. The wyverns settled down nearby, and we joined them for a quick meal before returning to the Redemption and putting those bunks to use.The night passed easily enough, I got middle watch, which was annoying-but it was my turn, so I did my part, standing on the deck and looking out into the hillside for trouble while also practising my magic a little.I had a lot of spells to learn, but not much time to knuckle down and learn one well, so I practised my mana manipulation, then I made myself bigger and smaller using my new Proportion Distortion skill. If I was ever going to use that in a fight, then I’d need to have it down to second nature. It was strange to feel like the ship shrank and grew around me, instead of feeling like I was the one whose size was changing.Amaryllis woke up to take her turn, but she just stood there and stared at me. “Broccoli.”“Hi, Amaryllis,” I said.“I know how you’re that size, but I don’t understand why.”I was currently no taller than Amaryllis' knee, if I were standing on the deck. Of course, because I was on watch, I was standing on the railing which was plenty wide enough when I was smaller.“I’m practising,” I said.“Are you... wrapped up in your own ears?” she asked.I hugged my ears closer. I hadn’t figured out how to make them shrink with the rest of me, so they were still as long as normal, which meant they reached down to my feet. Obviously, I’d wrapped them around myself like big warm, furry blankets.I snuggled deeper into the ear fluff. My tail also didn’t shrink, so I had a sort of fluffy beanbag to flump onto. “Yes,” I said. “They’re warm, and it’s cold out. I’d make myself all big and cover you in my ears, but they stay the same size when I embiggen myself, so they end up looking tiny.”“I see,” Amaryllis said. She rubbed her eyes clean. “Go to bed, Broccoli.”“Okay!”The next morning we had a quick breakfast of hardtack and tea while the sun hadn’t quite risen yet. By the time it did though, we were already rising up and the wyvern knights were circling around.Technically, we were right on the edge of Sylphfree, but according to Amaryllis that depended on whose map you looked at. The Trenten Flats claimed the area just as much as Sylphfree did. Neither group had any use for the land, so it was mostly just another thing for the two nations to argue over. It did mean that the wyvern knights could relax a little bit. They were over home territory, and no longer camping in a foreign land without permission.We crossed over increasingly hilly terrain, taking a rather circuitous route that confused me a bit. Fortunately, Calamity was there to explain.“All of the land to the northeast of the Greenstone is dangerous. No one smart travels there if they can avoid it. Not much in the area anyway, so it’s not a big deal.”“That sounds weird,” I said. The evidence was impossible to miss though; a huge swathe of the grasslands and hills were utterly bare, revealing dull brown dirt. There wasn’t a speck of grass or a tree to be seen for kilometres. Off in the distance, a great billowing cloud of dust had been dragged up by the wind and was rolling steadily east.Calamity said that no one knew what made the Greenstone or how it worked, and no one seemed eager to find out.Eventually, a bit before noon came around, we were back in the mountains of Sylphfree and swinging around mountaintops which were taller than the height we dared bring the Redemption to.Goldpass, when it finally came into sight, was revealed to be a surprisingly small city. It didn’t even have a wall, and was instead just a sprawl of multi-floored homes packed tightly in a valley surrounded on three sides by mountains.A wide, but shallow-looking river passed by, with tributaries joining it from the various mountains so that it was quite wide before the river just... stopped. It was only as we got closer that I realized the entire river tumbled into a big cave-like crack in the ground. Did it fall into an aquifer? An underground river? It was weird.The city had an airshiport to its south which was mostly occupied by commercial ships, though there were a few sylph military vessels parked there as well. And, in the middle of them, a very familiar ship.“The Beaver!” I shouted.“The what?” Calamity asked.He followed my pointing finger to the Beaver Cleaver. The twin-hulled ship was sitting at port, its prow, with its two top-hatted ducks, looking mighty and proud. The balloons were different, no longer the patched-up ones we’d been using for so long, instead they were replaced by two sky-blue balloons, with a paler blue below.The wyverns cut out ahead of us and dove towards the port, and I saw Winnow gesturing towards an open landing berth just across the dock from the Beaver. Of course, we immediately started to drop down and prepare to land.I was practically bouncing on the spot. I was so excited! Were all of our friends there? We had so many new stories to share!The Redemption came in for a nice, gentle landing, with all four of us doing our very best and with a bit of help from some dock-working sylph who flew over with ropes to tie us down with.By the time we were secured, there was a small crowd waiting for us. Mostly guards, but in the middle of them was Caprica, and by her side, Bastion.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Four — The Golden Gold Inn of Goldpass
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Four — The Golden Gold Inn of Goldpass “Caprica!” I cheered as I jumped off the Redemption and ran across the dock. One of the princess’ guards tried to stop me, but I just made myself smaller and slipped under his attempt to grab me.Then, with a big leap, I launched myself in the air and crashed into Caprica’s waist with a giggling whomp.Caprica laughed and patted my back with one arm. The other, I discovered, was busy cradling Orange close to her side. “Orange!” I cheered as I grabbed the spirit cat. I spun around with Orange’s lanky frame held out before me, then I pressed my nose against hers and laid a few kisses against her face. “I missed you too,” I said.Orange gave me the longsuffering look of a cat who did miss someone but didn’t want that person to know.“Hello, Broccoli,” Caprica said.“Hi!” I replied. “Wait, I need to hug Bastion too.”Bastion raised his arms up and I flung my arms around him, squishing Orange in between us. His expression softened a bit, even if he kept his arms raised like he wasn't sure what to do with them.By the time I was done hugging Bastion my friends had descended from the tied-down airship and the wyvern knights had come to a landing a bit deeper into the docks where the local dockhands and guards were giving the big almost-dragons a wide berth.“Hello, Princess Caprica,” Amaryllis said. Next to her, Awen gave Caprica a little wave and Calamity hurried to pull his hat off his head, then he licked his palm and ran it through the tangled hair atop his head.“Hello everyone,” Caprica said. “So, before anything else, can someone please pry Broccoli off of Bastion?”“Oh!” I said as I let go of the Paladin. Were we making a scene? Bah, that didn’t matter. “Did you want more hugs, Caprica?” I asked before walking over and hugging her some more.Caprica laughed and rubbed my head, which was easier now that I was at the same height as her, minus the ears. “Broccoli, am I losing my mind or have you lost some height?”“Nope! I have a skill to change sizes,” I said. I let go of the skill and popped back to my normal Broccoli-height. “See?”“That’s... interesting. I’ve never seen a skill like that before,” she said. “Anyway, how was your trip? I see you’ve made a new friend?”“Oh! Right, Princess Caprica, Paladin Bastion, this is Calamity Danger, he’s the best hunter ever and when he grows up he wants to be an airship pirate.”“Meow, wait a moment,” Calamity said. “Nya might be right about that, Broc, but don’t go telling it to crown-folks. That’s just trouble.”“I don’t know if you’ve been with Broccoli and her friends for very long,” Caprica said. “But you'll discover that Broccoli doesn't treat authorities with any special reverence.”“Well, that’s fine by me!” Calamity said with a smirk. “But these three have been nice and fair to me so far, so they won’t hear any complaints from me.”Caprica smiled. “That’s nice to hear. If you three vouch for Calamity, then I’m certain I’ll be happy to call him a friend. Fantasies of piracy aside-we can’t have a royal endorsing that sort of behaviour, you understand.”“Yes ma’am, I understand, ma’am,” Calamity rushed to reassure. I grinned. Calamity was a good guy, and a better friend, so far.“So, are we going to stand out here all day?” Amaryllis asked. “It’s a little warm to be standing in the sun.”Caprica nodded, then gestured further down the dock. “Come. I have the inn all to myself. I’m the first royal to fly into Goldpass in over a decade, so I’m getting the special treatment. I’d usually discourage that kind of thing, but it does have its advantages. The inn’s owner fell over himself to offer us the entire building for as long as we need.”“Won’t he lose a bunch of money from that?” I asked.“He’ll likely earn it back once word gets around that a princess found the accommodations acceptable,” Amaryllis said. “Besides, I imagine Caprica’s guards need to sleep somewhere too.”“Indeed,” Caprica said. “Why, with a smaller inn I might have had to ask my guards to sleep three or four to a room. I might even have had to share a room. Perhaps with the diligent Paladin Bastion.”Bastion glanced our way, but he was currently busy doing his ‘I’m scanning everything for trouble’ routine off to the group’s side.We ended up meeting the wyvern knights near the docks’ exit. They were waiting in an orderly row, helmets off and tucked under one arm while they stood at parade rest. Their wyverns were sitting on the road behind them, taking up a fair chunk of space, but no one seemed brave enough to complain about it.Caprica stopped before Winnow and smiled at the knight who stood a little straighter. “Knight Winnow, was it?” she asked.“Yes, your highness,” Winnow replied.“I heard good things about you. Thank you for escorting my friends back safely. I appreciate that you’ve gone above and beyond.”“Just doing our duty, ma’am,” Winnow said.I smiled but held back a laugh. It was strange to see people get so nervous around Caprica. It was as if they didn’t know that under all the princessness she was just a normal, if very motivated girl, with normal girl problems and a normal girl crush on her friend and paladin guard.Caprica made a bit of small talk with the wyvern knights before asking them if they could stay in-town for a little bit, stating that she might need their help later on. And then we were off again.The Golden Gold Inn was a pretty establishment set right next to Goldpass’s skyport. It was three stories of worked stone, with balconies on the upper floors and big windows with storm shutters painted a brilliant orange-yellow and a steep peaked roof. There wasn’t much room for landscaping around the inn, since it was squished in between two other businesses, but the owners had clearly tried their best by having a few benches out front with some big pots filled with colourful flowers.The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.The inn’s interior was a bit different than what I was used to. There was a sitting room and a dining room, but they looked more appropriate to a big home than a tavern. This wasn’t a place that also doubled as a restaurant or anything like that, though I was certain they served food for customers.“Since we’ve appropriated the entire inn, in a manner of speaking, I suppose you can all have your own rooms. The third floor is mostly unoccupied,” Caprica said.“Thank you,” Amaryllis said. “We appreciate the gesture. And our purse-strings will appreciate the savings as well, I imagine.”Caprica chuckled. “I can’t imagine you having a difficult time with gold at the moment, not after the last mission.”Amaryllis shrugged. “You can never have enough, truly.”We ended up sitting around the dining room table after which Caprica dismissed most of her guards. They seemed content to start patrolling around the inn, looking all important and tough in their shiny gear while the inn’s proprietor, a sylph called Juley Juleschild, prepared some light snacks for us.“So, tell me about your latest adventure!” Caprica asked.We immediately jumped into the story. I tried keeping any exaggeration to a minimum, but I might have gotten a little excited here and there, especially when describing how cool it was to ride on wyverns, something that Caprica, despite having wyverns nearby her entire life, had never done.I wondered a bit if it was like someone who lived close to an amusement park never visiting it, or if she really hadn’t ever gotten the chance to fly on a wyvern?Amaryllis ranted at length about the rude mother we met in Riverstart and then we recounted our meeting with Savan and then Calamity. Caprica was a lot more interested when we described riding on pony-back all the way to the crashed airships.“I received your report, of course,” she said to Amaryllis. “Or rather, an intelligence officer did, but I made sure to read a copy for myself. Two crashed diplomatic vessels is a big issue. That they crashed on Trenten flats territory complicates things immensely. We won’t be able to bring in inspectors to scour the crash sites.”“I imagine the hunters and other scavengers will be all over the ships soon enough,” Amaryllis said. Caprica winced at that. “The only upside is that it’s unlikely the government of the Trenten Flats will be able to make a fuss about it.”Caprica nodded, then leaned back into her seat. I wondered if that was comfortable with her wings. “Indeed. So... pirates. Or what we’re presuming to be pirates. I’m not entirely convinced. A big enough and powerful enough group that they were able to waylay an entire diplomatic convoy... that sounds like more than a band of ruffians.”“There’s this rumour, the one we heard from Three Hooves,” I said.Caprica gestured for me to continue.“So, Three Hooves is this cool older cervid lady. She’s missing a leg, which I imagine is why she’s called that. Unless it was her name before too and it’s all a really unfortunate coincidence. Anyway, she said there’s rumours about this big, scary pirate from way out in the west. He might have come to stay in this area, or maybe in the Snowlands to the north.”“Does this scary pirate have a name?” Bastion asked.I nodded. “Commodore Megumi. The Sky Killer.”“That’s... disturbing,” Caprica said.“Yeah, I know! Why do the bad guys get such cool names?” I smacked the table with impotent fury. Then Awen started to rub my head between the ears to calm me down and I settled back in my seat. “I want a cool name.”“I can imagine,” Amaryllis said. “Living your entire life with a name like Broccoli must have a toll.”“What? No, I meant like a title name. What’s wrong with Broccoli?”“Anyway,” Caprica said. “Let’s bring this back on-topic, shall we? Commodore Megumi. The Sky Killer. I haven’t heard of that name before. Bastion?”“I... might have. In reports from the Endless Swells, I think. Distant persons of interest. Those are usually either politically important figures, or people who have gained enough levels to become something of a threat.”“How many levels is that?” I asked.Bastion hummed. “Usually, the moment a person gains a third class, they’re considered interesting as far as the government is concerned. Even three entirely noncombat classes working in tandem might result in some powerful combinations. Most civilians who reach that kind of level are those with high-risk jobs that afford them a fair amount of experience. Adventurers, hunters, classes that encourage them to stay outside of the safety of a city.”“That makes people dangerous?” I asked.“No, it makes them interesting. Which can, in and of itself, be a sign that someone is dangerous,” Bastion said. “Don’t underestimate lower-levelled people though. Levels equate to potential, not competence. I’ve known Paladins who were bested by creatures beneath level ten because they just didn’t know how to handle them.”Caprica chuckled, and I felt like I was missing out on a joke.“It’s just a rumour,” Amaryllis said. “But it might be worth investigating.”“Indeed. In the meantime, we have a direction to search in. I’ll have the wyvern knights patrol the border with the Snowlands; we might be able to spot this pirate camp, especially with the number of ships they’ll have to hide.”“And then what?” I asked.“And then... I’m not certain. Our diplomatic channels with the Harpy Mountains have been acting strangely. I suspect that a ransom was finally sent out. What, exactly, these pirates are asking for though... that we’ll have to see.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Five — Diplomats in Distress
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Five — Diplomats in Distress We woke up bright and early the next morning. Caprica wanted all of us together for breakfast because she’d received some important news that she wanted to share. There was a tasty spread waiting for us, and Caprica had obviously been patiently waiting for everyone to be gathered before she ate.Orange, who had a majestic bowl placed at the head of the table, hadn’t been so patient, but she was excused on account of being a cat.So, we all sat around the inn’s dining table, again, and ate while Caprica went over a few reports. When most of us were done eating and drinking, she looked up and with a serious expression, spoke up at last. “There’s a ransom,” she said.“How bad is it?” Amaryllis asked.Caprica lowered the pages. She didn’t look very pleased. “It’s not ideal. They have a number of politicians, diplomats, and various nobles in their care. The original document was signed by each, and I believe a number of their identities have been confirmed by experts. The ring-seals attached to the ransom note match up as well.”“We kind of knew that already, didn’t we?” I asked.“Yes,” Caprica said. “But now this is becoming a much wider incident. The harpy will be demanding their diplomats back, of course.”“Obviously,” Amaryllis said. “If the Nesting Kingdom itself doesn’t respond, then it will fall to individual families to reply as they see fit. That might turn messy. I don’t want to imagine my countrybirds acting cruelly, but I can still envision some families asking that other hostages not be returned.”I gasped. That was terrible!“It’s worse than you know,” Caprica said. “They’re not merely asking for gold.”“Territory? Legitimacy?” Amaryllis guessed at.Caprica shook her head. “They want a prisoner exchange. Specifically, for a prisoner that’s being held by Sylphfree.”“Rainnewt!” Awen gasped.I glanced at her, then back to Caprica, who was nodding already. “Exactly. How did you make the connection?”“Well, awa, it sounds like the kind of thing he would do,” she said. “He seemed very, ah, invested in his plan to plunge the entire continent into war. So ... it would make sense for him to have some redundancies in case his original plan failed, and he’s probably responsible for the diplomats being kidnapped.”“If his bombing plan worked he could have used the hostages to heighten tensions between our nations,” Amaryllis said. “Much of the Nesting Kingdom’s best were supposed to be sent to the summit. Removing them from the board only makes it harder to act diplomatically.”Caprica dropped her reports down with a sigh. “I don’t know what the Nesting Kingdom is going to do, but I can predict how the Sylphean military will react.”“There’s no way that you’ll surrender him,” Amaryllis said.Caprica shook her head. “He attempted regicide. You could make a case for treason, and you could certainly make a case for mass homicide. Any one of those would make it impossible for us to surrender him to the Nesting Kingdom. We certainly wouldn’t hand him over only for him to be freed into the care of pirates.”“Are they asking for anything else?” Amaryllis asked.“So far, no. They’ll trade any five hostages for Rainnewt.” Caprica pushed the papers towards Amaryllis. “There’s a list of them on the third page.”Amaryllis took it, flipped over to the list, then winced. “There’s an earl here. Two barons. I recognize the names of two harpies here who have parents who are dukes. These are some important people, even setting aside the career politicians. The Nesting Kingdom will be under a lot of pressure to get them back.”“What about the crews?” I asked.“Nothing on them, except for captains and first mates,” Amaryllis said.“There had to be dozens of them,” I said. “Those ships were way bigger than the Beaver, and even we have a full-time crew of six sailors, not counting those of us here. A bigger ship will need a bigger crew, right?”“And servants too,” Awen said. “Ladies maids, cooks, cleaning staff, porters and entertainers. Big-name nobles don’t just travel without a big entourage. Oh, and guards too.”“Right, for when they arrived in Sylphfree,” I said. I nodded. “Whelp, in that case, let’s go free them all. That way, if they have no hostages, they can’t make ransom demands and Rainnewt will stay in jail where he deserves to be.”Bastion, who had been quietly standing guard two and a half steps behind Caprica’s chair, cleared his throat. “I think you may be over simplifying things somewhat,” he said.“No, she might be right,” Amaryllis said. “We know more or less where they are, don’t we? North of the Trenten Flats, possibly within the Snowlands, and about as far as you could expect to travel on a normal ship’s fuel reserves. That narrows it down. And we’re relatively close at the moment. Certainly closer than anyone else. If we can gather a large enough group and move in stealthily, we might be able to surprise the pirates.”Caprica blinked. “That’s quite reckless.”“I like it,” I said.“Of course you do, it was yours,” Amaryllis huffed.“You liked it too!”“Well, mostly because of the massive clout we’d gain if we succeed,” she reasoned. “I can’t see how we could manage it, stealth aside.”Caprica tapped the table, then half-turned to Bastion. “How many troops are stationed in Goldpass?”“It’s a frontier town,” he replied. “One company. About a hundred flying-fit troops and twice as many in logistics. In addition to perhaps fifty full-time guards working for the city itself.”“That’s not nearly enough to take on a pirate’s den,” Caprica muttered. “But... perhaps we can bolster those numbers.”“Maybe you don’t need to fight at all,” I said. “The goal is to free the hostages, right? You don’t need to beat up every pirate you find to do that, you just need to grab the hostages and run.”Caprica hummed to herself. “You might be onto something,” she said. “A special operation, designed like a smash and grab. A good number of the hostages might well be fighting-capable if freed. Though... maybe they won’t be as well. I’ll talk to a few people here. We have a number of ships available that we can commandeer.”Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.“A distraction?” I asked. “Send a big fat merchant ship close to the pirates, then have it fly away, and while they chase it we invade their base!”“They won’t leave it unguarded,” Amaryllis said. “But it could work to divide their forces.”Awen raised a hand. “Um, what about the Snowlanders. The pirates are near them, right? Are they okay with them?”“Officially, the Snowlands condemn piracy. But... it is quite suspicious that the pirates were able to acquire such an advanced Snowlander vessel. So, I think some level of under-the-table collusion is plausible,” Caprica said.“In any case,” Bastion said. “None of this is possible without a much better understanding of the local area and the forces we’re dealing with. I wouldn’t want to deploy troops in a foreign nation like that at the best of times either.”“Ah, you’re correct,” Caprica said. “The Snowlanders might take umbrage if we storming their lands, even if they’re occupied by pirates and worse.”I crossed my arms. My breakfast had been nice and tasty, but I had a bit of a sour taste in my mouth now. “Well, I don’t like the idea of sitting back and doing nothing.”Awen raised her hand again. “That would only be a problem if the troops are Sylphean, right? What if, um, they were all privately-hired mercenaries?”“That would violate all sorts of codes of conduct,” Bastion said. “But... it might be doable. The force would have to be all-volunteer, and it would be a mess no matter the results.”“I’ll see what I can do,” Caprica said. “On that note, I need a few hours to prepare things. If you want to visit the town, then feel free to do so, Goldpass is open to you. The docks as well, I imagine you might want to revisit your ship after so long away.”I nodded vigorously. “Yes! We definitely need to check out the Beaver again. It’s been forever! I have weeks of overdue hugs to hand out to the crew.”“And I need to see if the repairs pass muster,” Awen said. “Um, no offence.”“None taken,” Caprica said. “You girls... and sir, go and enjoy yourselves. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”With that, Caprica stood, nodded to us, then gathered her papers and shuffled off.“She’s got a lot on her plate,” I muttered as I stood too.“Yes, but it’s important work,” Amaryllis said. “And it’s the kind of work that could earn her a lot of political clout. Saving desperate harpy captives of a known pirate would earn her, or at least Sylphfree, a lot of goodwill. It might be the public relations victory we all need to finally put these stories of war to rest.”“I imagine the folk them pirates have captured would be mighty pleased to be saved,” Calamity added with a cat-like grin. “Meow, you had a ship to show me?”“Yes!”I dragged Calamity along after me as I left the inn, and my other friends filed out as well. I really couldn’t wait to return to the Beaver Cleaver after so long away.The docks weren’t as busy as some I’d seen before. Goldpass was too quiet of a city to really have much air traffic coming and going from it, so it was easy to navigate the many stairs and towers around the docks to reach the level where the Beaver Cleaver was currently parked and waiting for us.I paused as I came close, taking in the ship in all of its splendour.Someone had clearly taken some time to spruce it up a smidge. Not so much cleaning it-after all, it was my ship, so it had had plenty of Cleaning magic splished and splashed across its deck. No, what took me by surprise was the fresh coat of paint on the sides and the patched up holes in the hull.I couldn’t even tell where he’s been smacked and shot and magiced anymore. I kinda missed the splashdash and kinda terrible paint job I’d given the ship, but there was no denying that he was a lot more handsome now.The rigging had all been replaced with new ones, the balloon was fresh and new, and someone had even taken the time to replace many of the bannisters and railings with shiny metal ones that had heaps of whirly bits and decorative metalwork.“Wow!” Calamity said. “That’s a beaut of a ship. When nya said nya were a captain, I didn’t rightly believe nya, nya know?”"I know, right? It's like a dream come true!" I felt myself smiling so big it hurt. "Let me grab my captain’s hat. It should be aboard the Beaver. Come on!”I skipped over the gangplank and onto the ship. Almost immediately, Gordon spotted me. He grinned a harpy grin and flapped his wings. “Captain on deck!” he squawked.There was a rush of boots, and soon the entire crew rushed up from below to join us.“Scallywags!” I cheered as I launched myself at the crew. There was Two-Eyed Joe, and No-Pegs Oda, and of course the Fearsome Sally, our sorta-piratical human crewmates. They’d actually grown a smidge since I’d last seen them, maybe. They were certainly looking more fit and fed.Hugs were had while Amaryllis and Awen followed aboard more calmly.Then it was time to hug Clive and Steve and Gordon, our more experienced harpy crew. “The Beaver Cleaver’s ready to set sail at a moment’s notice, ma’am,” Clive said. “The stores are full, the fuel bunkers are stocked, and everything’s running better than new.”“The Beaver looks so good,” I said. “What happened?”Clive puffed his chest out. “The sylph were mighty insistent on giving him a little bit of a refit. We made sure they didn’t mess anything up, but they do know their shipwork and it was only the work of a day or four to get all the holes patched and all our troubles smoothed away. Lady Bristlecone will be wanting to look at the engine. The rooms haven’t been touched, of course.”"Well, let's take a look then!"
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Six — Fusion Mode
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Six — Fusion Mode After saying hello to everyone, sharing a whole heap of hugs, and then trading stories of what we’d all been doing over the past couple of weeks, we decided that we should find a way to get the Redemption onto the Beaver.That turned out to be a whole lot trickier to do than we initially thought.It was possible to do it. With a measuring tape and a few trips back and forth, we confirmed that the Redemption was thinner in the middle than the space between the Beaver’s two hulls. The Beaver was also more than long enough to overshadow the Redemption if it came to park in its middle.The problem was twofold. First, we had to secure the smaller ship, which wouldn’t be easy. The Beaver didn’t have anything in its middle designed to grab onto and hold on to a small boat.Second, the Redemption’s balloon would rub up against the Beaver’s in a way that would quickly wear a hole in the material. We couldn't deflate the Redemption's balloon, because the Beaver wasn't designed to carry the weight of an entire airboat, even if it was much lighter than the Beaver.In the end, Awen drew up quick plans to lengthen the Beaver's rigging, which would raise the balloons farther above the hull and essentially give us more headroom to fit in the Redemption. It would alter the Beaver's handling a bit, but she assured us it would be manageable. Additionally, she specified latch points that would be retrofitted to both vessels so they could lock together while dockedCurious sylph from the port noticed our plans, and by mid-afternoon we had a small crew of eager engineers and mechanics swarming over the two ships trying to get everything in place.I think Caprica showing up during a small break to see what we were up to really encouraged them too. Apparently she’d ridden aboard the Beaver on the way over (she took one of the spare bedrooms and her guards had plenty of space to stay on the other side of the ship, most of them came in a pair of smaller Sylph airforce ships anyway). Her riding on the ship made it a ‘princess’s’ ship in a way, which somehow translated to a bunch of honour for those working on improving the Beaver.I didn’t pretend to understand all of that, exactly, but I was glad for the help. I’d rarely seen Awen so excited to work on something before, and the idea was really cool.Unfortunately, I discovered that I was mostly in the way after a while.What they needed were mechanics and manual workers, not someone who was an expert hugger.So, instead of being in the way, I returned to the inn and had lunch with Caprica and Bastion, then I convinced Amaryllis to help me train my magic a little bit.“Huh,” Amaryllis said as I carefully touched her upper arm and turned a simple light spell she was trying to cast into a strange mix of light and cleaning mana that dispersed harmlessly next to me. “That... feels very strange.”I nodded along. I was practising my Way of the Mystic Bun on her, though only in small amounts and very carefully. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt a friend.“It feels rather intrusive. I can feel your mana pressing into my arm and fighting for control, then it subjugates my own.” She frowned, then went through the same motions with her hand. “Do it again.”“Okay!” I said. It cost a few points of mana to do the trick, but only a few. I could do it all day, really.Amaryllis had me repeat the move three more times. The last time, it failed outright. When I tried to push my own mana into her system through the contact I had on her arm, her magic... slipped by, then she cast her spell without any trouble.“I see,” she said. “So, it’s resistable. Easily, as well, you just need to actually try and know what to look for.”“How’d you manage that?” I asked.“Once I felt the intrusion, I shifted my mana around to avoid it. I’m pretty sure someone could brute force their way past your intrusion too. It’s likely not as strong as you think... except if your opponent doesn’t know what you’re doing.”“Oh.” I said. That made some sense. “It’s hard to grab a person’s mana, it’s kind of like... shoving your hand in a bowlful of spaghetti and trying to grab one strand in particular.”“That’s disgusting,” she said. “But yes, I imagine that some well-practised mages will learn to counter the intrusion in no time at all. It might add a hundredth of a second to their casting time, but that’ll be it. Someone who really knows what they’re doing might be able to steal your mana as well. Here, touch my talons again.”I grabbed her sorta-hand, then pushed mana in when she instructed me to. Amaryllis concentrated for nearly a full minute in silence, then I felt a strange tugging sensation in my arm, as if someone were slurping out the insides.“Oh, ew!” I said as I pulled my hand back.Amaryllis grinned. “So, that’s doable as well. Interesting.”“Did you just copy my skill?” I asked as I shook my hand.“No, no nothing of the sort. I don’t know how to do the intrusion that you can manage. But since your mana was in my system already, well, it wasn’t too hard to figure out how to steal it. And it seems as if I could keep pulling too. It's all Cleaning aspect though. Or... perhaps more accurately, it’s Broccoli-aspect magic, which is nearly indistinguishable.”“I guess that makes sense,” I said. “So should I continue to use it in a fight?”“Of course you should,” she huffed. “I didn’t know how to counter it without thinking about it for a couple of minutes. The average mage who’s never encountered that kind of ability won’t come up with a counter mid-battle. Even if they do, it’s a distraction, and the easier ways to counter the ability still require concentration.”“Cool!” I said. I mostly liked the ability because it made it harder for people to use offensive magic on me or my friends without harming them much. A fight would end a lot sooner if the person I was fighting ran out of mana early.“Have you been levelling well?” Amaryllis asked.I winced. “Ah, well, it’s been a few days since anything’s gone up in level,” I admitted.Amaryllis gave me a very flat look. “Broccoli, you’re aware that we’re all at very respectable levels for our age, right? It takes most people years to level most of their skills up.”“Yeah, but I was making such good progress before. Also, I still have a bunch of General Skill slots open.”“That’s normal, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “Unless you’ve been specifically training something new, you shouldn’t unlock a new General skill. Otherwise everyone would fill all of their free slots in a matter of hours just from...breathing and scratching themselves and hugging their family.”“But I got a hugging skill,” I pointed out.“Yes, exactly, because you’re bizarre and intentionally put a lot more effort and time into doing that kind of thing than normal people. I suggest you either practise a specific skill a lot more to gain it as a general skill, or that you just leave it be and allow yourself to gain skills as they come. They’ll usually be for things you’re doing already.”If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.I considered it, then shrugged. That seemed fair enough. I didn’t have many General Skill Points left to spend in any case. A couple of skills were nearing the spot where they were ready to level up, so that would be exciting!
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
13
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
4
Age
16
Health
150
Stamina
165
Mana
145
Resilience
65
Flexibility
85
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 09%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 14%
Gardening
D — 39%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
C — 16%
Mad Millinery
D — 94%
Proportion Distortion
C — 07%
General Skills
Insight
C — 99%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 27%
Archeology
D — 49%
Friendmaking
C — 83%
Matchmaking
D — 69%
Hugging Proficiency
D — 89%
Captaining
E — 91%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
1
Wonderlander Skill Points
2
General Skill Points
3
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
3
I hummed as I looked over my skills. By the end of our next adventure, I was certain I’d be levelling up a couple of them.“Right, want to stand over there? I need to practise a few more spells. These are electric spells that track their target. I’ll make sure they’re weak enough that they only sting a little.”“Wait, what?” I asked.“Don’t worry, you can use it as dodging practice!”Caprica walked into the inn’s backyard an hour later while I was panting for all I was worth and Amaryllis was finally starting to run low on mana. It wasn’t fair how quickly her reserves refilled, but I guessed that was only normal since her main class was all about spellcasting.“Practising hard?” the princess asked.“Very!” I said. I tugged my shirt forward a bit and blew some air down the front. It was pretty warm out, despite being so far north.“Good! I got some news, you might want to come inside for this one. Awen just arrived as well, with your new catfolk friend.”We followed Caprica back inside and into the same dining room we’d been meeting in a lot lately. There were plates out already, so it looked like we were just in time for supper to be served.“So, how did the ship stuff go?” I asked Awen as I sat next to her.She grinned. “Well! It’ll take a while to finish everything, but we added fixed docking points to the Beaver and their opposites on the Redemption. It should be possible to undock the two in midair. But I wouldn’t want to try docking in mid-air,” Awen said. “It needs a lot more precision than I think we could manage if we’re fighting the wind and trying to pilot two ships at once.”“We can always fly the Redemption next to the Beaver until we reach a port if we ever need it.”Awen shook her head. “I’m working on it. But we don’t have all the facilities to build what I’m thinking of here.”“That might all come in handy sooner than you think,” Caprica said. She slapped a few pages down onto the table and grinned. “We have official denial to attempt a rescue.”“Official denial?” Amaryllis asked.“It means that if we try something, the government will deny it officially. Which is basically approval to actually try,” Caprica explained. “We’ve been looking for volunteers since the order came in. and I think we’ve found a couple of vessels with brave captains that wouldn’t mind acting as troop transports. Finally, we’ve chartered a merchant ship to fly close enough to the suspected pirate lair to entice them. We’ll be loading the ship full of soldiers disguised as sailors, of course.”“As a distraction?” I asked.She nodded. “Now, all we need is a flagship to lead this operation.”“You want to use the Beaver?” I asked.She nodded.“You’re aware that it’s not a warship, right?” Amaryllis asked.“Oh, yes, but if things go well, it should never have to fight at all. I have a whole plan drawn up. I’m certain it will work out just fine!”She sounded pretty sure of herself. I figured it was worth a shot! There were a whole heap of people that needed saving, so all we had to do was go out, fight off some pirates, and save the heck out of them!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Seven — Provisioning
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Seven — Provisioning "We need more bolts!""Where's case 875 with the provisions?""Coming through! Pardon me, coming through."I stepped aside to let a pair of sylph soldiers stride by, they were carrying a case between them with a set of straps. They climbed the gangplank onto the Beaver, then brought the case next to the hatch in the top-deck leading into our main hold.I couldn't even begin to imagine what was in that case, but judging by all the other stuff being loaded aboard, it was probably weapons or supplies.The Beaver wasn't the only ship being loaded up, of course. Caprica had managed to 'borrow' two sylph frigates, the Model Twenty-Two Ship G and the Model Twenty-Four Ship C, which were, in my humble opinion, terrible names for ships.There were two more ships coming along as well, civilian vessels. The Lunch Box, which was an unsurprisingly boxy ship about as big as the Beaver. And a larger cargo ship called the Featherfall.And, of course, we had our big distraction, a large airship called the Royal Pride. It was one of the biggest ships I'd seen from up close, with three balloons, one huge one in the centre, and two smaller ones connected to nacelles that stuck out of the rear of the vessel. It was being armed up for the mission, and there were a lot of weapons going up on it, which made sense with how big it was.Now it was going to host a contingent of sylph soldiers in full gear, which I imagined would give any pirates trying to take her a nasty surprise.Every ship was being prepared to launch all at once, with sailors running along the decks with equipment, tugboats drawing near to guide the larger ships out of their berths, and hoses connected to every ship, replenishing their fuel.I imagined that this was all going to be very, very expensive, but Caprica had asked nicely and the people of Goldpass were more than eager to meet her demands.My friends and I were relegated to standing out of the way while the entire port buzzed like a kicked beehive. The metaphor was especially apt since the sylph could fly and were zipping through the air to carry stuff faster.I stood behind the Beaver's wheel on the poop deck where I wouldn't be in anyone's way, so I saw Caprica arriving with a contingent of guards and of course, Bastion by her side."Hey!" I called out."Hello, captain," she said from just off the gangplank. "Permission to come aboard?""Always!" I cheered.Caprica grinned and flew over to us, landing with a dainty step and accepting my hello-hug. Then I gave one to Bastion too, so that he wouldn't feel left out. "Things are coming along well," she said."There's a lot of motion here," Amaryllis said. "What did you set off here, exactly?""Hopefully, the sort of mission which will go down in the history books for all the right reasons," Caprica replied. "I am as surprised as you are at the numbers we're pulling. When I asked for volunteers I didn't expect literally every soldier to sign on."Bastion nodded. "It's not as surprising as you might think, Princess. In the minds of a sylph soldier, there is little more honourable than serving our country, but to be honest, most of us will never see much action unless things go terribly wrong. This is an opportunity to put their hard-earned training to work. Not to mention, the idea of fighting pirates, saving diplomats, and aiding a princess only make the venture more tempting.""I'm impressed," I said. "How many volunteers does all that add up to?""Enough that every ship will have as many sylph as they can safely carry," Caprica said. "We had to refuse people just on the basis that we can't fit them all aboard. Bastion and the local officers ended up drawing the requirements for who would and wouldn't be allowed to come.""We set the requirements to match age and time of service," Bastion said. "We'll be bringing the best with us. This is a small settlement, so we won't find as many high-quality soldiers as we might find in the capital, but so far they all seem perfectly competent."That was a big endorsement from Bastion."So, we're running straight towards trouble with an entire troop of overeager soldiers," Amaryllis said. "This will go well. Who's legally in charge of all of this?"Caprica froze up. "Ah, well. Technically, we needed someone of a certain rank to run an operation of this size. Not to mention an operation in foreign territory. It would have to be an admiral.""There's an admiral around?" I asked.Caprica nodded. "Yes. In a manner of speaking.""Uh oh," Awen muttered."See, when you first introduced my sister and me to Orange, you introduced her as a Grand Admiral, and my sister thought this was a great thing. She, might have, perhaps, officiated the rank. As a small joke."I blinked. "Wait, what?"Orange strutted onto the Beaver Cleaver Head and tail held high, and her chest fur puffed out luxuriously. She was wearing a tiny tricorne, with little feathers affixed to it. Actual Grand-Admiral of Mouse-Chasing Orange Bunch crossed the deck, slipping past feet and once stopping just long enough to send a young sailor tripping forwards with a box full of stuff which spilled across the ground.She jumped up the steps to the poop deck, then leapt up to take her place on the dias holding up the ship's wheel. "Mrow," she said.Stolen novel; please report.Calamity doffed his hat. "Ma'am," he said."Hi!" I said to the spirit cat. She lifted her head a bit, so I gave her chin some scritches. "So, you're the one in charge of all of this?""Technically, on paper," Caprica said. She cleared her throat. "Which is why we need to make sure this entire operation goes off without a hitch, because if it doesn't, then we're all going to have to answer a lot of really awkward questions.""You'd think they'd ask those regardless," Amaryllis said."Oh, they will, but success overshadows criticism in a very satisfactory way," Caprica said.Bastion seemed both amused and exasperated by it all. "We should be heading out. By the looks of it, the ships are almost ready to cast off."He was probably right. The hustle and bustle had died down. Now most of the sylph on the docks were only sitting back and waiting for us to take off."Oh, we're not leaving, Bastion," Caprica said. She smiled up at him. "We must stay. Your strength will be invaluable in this mission, and I want to see it through myself. Besides, I think the soldiers might fight harder for having me around.""Princess Caprica," Bastion said warningly."No, Bastion. I insist. I'm hardly incapable of taking care of myself. And I can't send people out to fight without being expected to lead them from the front. Besides, my presence there will reinvigorate things back home, I think.""What's that mean?" I asked."It means that it has been a while since a member of my family has stepped out and done anything truly impressive," Caprica said. "Noblesse oblige means that I must where I can, doesn't it?" She nodded to herself. "And on that note, permission to remain aboard your vessel, Captain Bunch?""Of course," I said. "I think you already had a room picked out for yourself?""Yes. Bastion's former room. I didn't want to bother any of yours," she said. There was a faint touch of red to her cheeks that I imagined meant something more, but it wasn't the time to go poking at that."That's fine by me. The Beaver Cleaver always has room for more friends. What about you, Calamity, did you want a room?""Ah, if nya don't mind, I'll use one of the bunks on the Redemption. They're comfortable enough for the likes of me," he said.I shrugged. If that was what he wanted, then sure. The airboat was currently fixed between the Beaver's twin hulls. It would take some finagling to detatch it, but with Awen aboard we'd manage.In the berth next to ours, the Model Twenty-Four Ship C unhooked itself from the docks and started to gently rise up. The frigate was one of those boxy sylph warships, which meant that it was probably way better in any sort of fight than we were. It was going to be handy to have, I suspected."I think we ought to get ready to take off ourselves," I said. I adjusted my captain's hat, making sure my bun ears didn't look too silly poking out of the brim, then I reached over and rang the bell next to the ship's wheel. "Everyone, to your positions! Clive, Awen, check the engines. Calamity, go join the Scallywags by the foredeck, we'll need to trim sails in a hurry. Amaryllis, keep an eye on the newbies. Caprica, Bastion... uh.""We'll stay out of the way," Caprica promised.I grinned. "Thanks!"Boots thudded across the deck as people took their positions in a hurry. The last of the troops came aboard and were directed to the sides where they wouldn't be in the way.The ropes holding us anchored to the docks were loosened, then coiled up, and the entire ship lurched as we were let loose. I noticed the problem right away. "Awen! We need to shift the anchoring on the balloon, we're pitching forwards more than we ought to.""On it!" Awen said before she ran ahead to the cables holding our balloon in place above. With the added weight of the Redemption being a little off-centre, we were tipping that way a little more than we should have. We'd have to do the opposite adjustment once that ship was loose.I cranked up the power to the gravity generator and felt a familiar hum under my feet. The Beaver was in fine form. The sylph that patched him up really knew what they were doing. The main engine started with a loud bark, and the prop at the back started to woosh-woosh as it cut through the air."Captain!" Gordon shouted from the side. "Dock tower gives us permission to depart. Heading three-fifty north. We're in the centre of the formation.""Aye!" I called back because that sounded way cooler than just 'okay.' I turned the wheel around a bit, then eased up on the gas. We weren't setting out yet, just forming up. We just had to hover up at an appropriate height. And, since we were the flagship, that meant that we'd be setting the pace. "Caprica, do you happen to know what kind of speed the other ships in our little fleet can manage?""About fifteen knots, Captain Bunch.""Alrighty, slow and steady it is. Do you know how to send signals to other ships?""I do," she said."Neat, want to tell the Model Twenty-Two Ship G and the Model Twenty-Four Ship C, that we'll be circling around Goldpass until the Lunch Box and the Featherfall have taken off?""You know, some people might object to you asking a Princess to work," she said."That's silly, you're here because you want to help, no? All are equal under my captainly authority."Caprica laughed. "It's fine. They'd be silly people to object anyway." She flashed me a quick salute. "I'll be right on it, Captain."
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Eight — Onto the River and Through the Woods
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Eight — Onto the River and Through the Woods With Admiral Orange’s assent, Caprica and I figured out a formation that our fleet could take as we travelled. The Beaver Cleaver as the fleet’s flagship, got to sit pretty in the middle of the formation, with the slightly-faster Featherfall ahead, and the Lunch Box behind. The idea was that we could create an area with less pressure for the Lunch Box to keep pace with us.The two sylph frigates kept pace on either side of the formation. They were the best-armed ships in our fleet and could outpace even the Featherfall when they pushed themselves a little.The Royal Pride split from the formation relatively early on. It was going to head west, then circle north and wait for Caprica’s signal to fly past the place where we suspected the pirates to be. That was our big decoy.As for us, our heading was north-northwest which had us fighting a cool wind from the northeast.The first day of the trip was simple enough. After a few hours of figuring out optimal speeds and getting used to flying in a formation, we made good progress towards our ultimate destination.As night fell, the air grew colder and I found myself switching out from behind the wheel to let Clive have a turn, though I made sure to bring him a warm blanket because I didn’t need him catching a cold.When it became too dark to see, we slowed down, descended, and came to a stop above an area barren of any sort of grass or shrubbery.According to Calamity, that was because of the Greenstone. We weren’t in the area of its effect, but we were close enough that there wasn’t anything growing here. It was safe to stay, but not for a long time.I was a little worried about that, so I kept my Cleaning aura up to make sure the ship stayed clean. It was surprisingly hard to do that though, and after asking around, Amaryllis conducted a test with some spells that showed that the mana in the area was much, much lower than it should have been.Maybe that explained why nothing was alive around here?It didn’t really matter. The next morning saw us pulling up our anchors and taking to the skies once more under Grand Admiral Orange’s careful watch. If everything went well, we would be reaching the Snowlands a few hours before nightfall, hopefully a good ways east of where the pirates were located.That’s when I got a pleasant surprise.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Captaining skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a Free Rank!That was a heck of a boost! I wouldn’t say no to it, especially not now that we were working with so many other ships.It gave me a bit of pep to my step to know that I was improving, and I worked extra hard to keep everything in tip-top condition. It wasn’t too hard though. The sylph troops aboard the Beaver were already on their best behaviour since they were sharing a ship with a princess and a paladin.The day passed surprisingly quickly. There was a million-and-one things to take care of, but I still had a few moments to take in the scenery as we continued flying on. There was something nice about the smell of spent fuel in the crisp-cold air. The world below was spread out far and wide, huge plains eventually giving way to old-growth forests.The biggest change though, happened when we reached a sheer cliff-side. It was like the whole world was split apart, with a sheer wall of stone rising up a hundred metres off the ground. Above that rise was another forest, but this one was different to the one below.The trees were much larger around, and significantly taller. They reminded me of maple trees on a scale that dwarfed even a redwood, and I ended up ordering us to climb a bit higher to avoid brushing too close to their tops, even if that meant dealing with slightly thinner air.It was colder here too. Some of the trees further north had brushes of snow on their topmost leaves, and the ground I could spy between them was covered in a white blanket protected from the sun by the canopy formed by the trees.“The pirates should be to the west of here,” Caprica said. She had a clipboard out, with a map of the region on it. “If they have as many ships as we think, then they’ll need a place to dock them, and the only place like that nearby is the Lightning Watch.”“What is that?” I asked.“It’s an old Snowlander keep. From what I remember of their history, they used to live to the north of here, but they moved into these woods at some point. Then, for some reason, they moved westward and settled their capital near the Bay of Storms.”“For some reason?” I turned to Caprica..All she gave in answer was a shrug. “I don't have any better information than that, sorry. It's not like I'm carrying the palace library around with me. I could write a request back home.” She tapped her ring.Amaryllis nodded. “That might not be a terrible idea. If we intend to approach this keep on foot, then we might as well learn what we can about the environment.”“I’ll pen something in a moment then,” Caprica said.We continued across the forest until a fog started to collect on the ground around us. It was probably the sun’s warmth touching the few snow-covered rivers we were passing, combined with a warmer breeze from the east.One of the lookouts on the Featherfall signalled back to us that there was a glade, so I ordered the fleet to slow down to quarter speed, and we coasted ahead until we came to a large river bank.Two rivers met below us, both shallow, but fast-moving, especially where they met and the competing currents splashed against each other.“Seems like a good enough place to make landfall,” I said.Orange hissed at the ground, but I think it was mostly the idea of taking a dip in all that water that didn’t amuse her.We parked ourselves as close to the ground as we could, lowering ladders to splash into the river’s edge while our anchors fixed themselves onto the stoney ground. The clearing was only barely large enough to fit all of the ships, but we managed to squeeze them all in.Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.Hiding five airships just wasn’t really doable under normal circumstances, but the trees here were so tall that it might just be possible to go unnoticed if we sat the ships low enough.Because I was the captain, I had to be one of the last ones off, at least according to the sylph. The Beaver Cleaver’s normal crew-which meant our harpy friends and the Scallywags-were left onboard, as well as a team of six sylph who pulled the short straws. Every ship had a small crew and a number of soldiers onboard to defend them. The last thing we wanted was for someone to come around and steal our rides back home.My shoes hit the water with a splash and I gasped as water raced around my legs. It was cold!I raced to the river bank, sloshing through water that ran all the way up to mid-thigh in places. I used that trick to warm myself up as I left the water... and then I realized that I could have enbiggemed myself once I was on the opposite shore and felt quite silly for not thinking of it earlier. On the shore, a sylph gave me a hand, and I noticed that a few of the soldiers were wet all the way to their shoulders. Their packs were dry though, so they’d prioritized keeping their stuff warm. Some of them were burning mana in their off hands, using self-heating spells that warmed their clothes enough that the water soaked into their armour was wafting off as a light steam.“I haven’t been this cold in a while,” I said with good cheer as I found my friends to one side.“It’s not too bad, it gets colder in Goldenalden during mid-winter,” Caprica said.Awen didn’t say anything, but the clatter of her teeth spoke volumes about what she thought of the forest’s temperature.I wrapped an arm around her shoulder to share some of my warmth. “You’ll get used to it,” I said. It was a partial lie, it took a while to get acclimatized to this kind of cold.Amaryllis huffed and tugged her jacket tighter. “We should get moving. We have half a day of travel time left if we pace ourselves. We couldn’t see the keep from the air, so it’s going to be a good distance away.”Bastion nodded. “I’m sending scouts ahead. We don’t have many, but those we do have are pretty talented. They’ll give us the lay of the land. Otherwise, I suggest we move as a single group. A three-long formation.”“A what?” I asked.As it turned out, the sylph had a lot of formations and such that they trained. A three-long was a long row, with three soldiers walking side by side. The one in the centre would look ahead, those on the sides would look to the sides. Each threesome stayed within weapon’s reach of the one ahead, so as we started to walk into the tall forest, we did so as a long, thick snake of people.I ended up somewhere in the middle, with my friends by my side and Caprica just ahead, flanked by two of the more experienced royal guards who’d come along with us.The forest was wild, but there was far less underbrush than I expected — instead, we had to cut our way through fallen branches to walk in a more or less straight path.The size of the trees made me feel absolutely tiny, and I wasn't even using Proportion Distortion. These weren’t the big maples and such I was used to seeing back home. They had more in common with sequoia than anything else. If an animal came out from around a tree, I imagined that it would have to be enormous just to be relative to the trees.But we didn’t see anything.Not even a squirrel or a wild bird.In fact, now that I was paying attention, the forest was eerily quiet once we were far enough from the river that the murmuring of the water was far enough back that I couldn’t hear it anymore.“Where are all the little beasties?” I asked.“Hibernating?” Awen suggested.I shook my head. “Not cold enough for that.”“It’ll get even colder?” Awen asked, aghast.“Broccoli’s right, there’s nothing but plant life around. And insects,” Amaryllis said. She swatted a few little bugs away with a sweep of her wings. “Nothing bigger than a beetle.”“Could it be that Greenstone thing?” I asked.Calamity, who was in the group right behind us, spoke up. “I doubt it. The Greenstone’s effect doesn’t go that far, nor in this direction, I don’t think.”“Do you know this area?” I asked.“Nah, sorry. If I knew nya’d drag us here I’d have asked around a bit more. Heard some stories, but mostly about how the forest is filled with monsters and ancient dungeons.”“Oh,” I said.Monsters and ancient dungeons. Neither sounded good at the moment. We didn’t have time to go exploring a dungeon. Especially not an older one, which would undoubtedly have more floors and more dangerous challenges.I imagined that a dungeon in a forest like this, so far from anything, might have gone unchallenged for a very, very long time.My ears twitched around, and I felt the fine hairs on the back of my neck rising. Was something watching us? I looked around, and noticed some of the soldiers doing the same.At the very front, Bastion raised a hand and made a few quick gestures.“Quiet,” Caprica muttered for our benefit.The soldiers carefully shifted, hands casually alighting on hilts and shield arms moving as if to make sure they were limber and ready to move. Any chatter down the line, which wasn’t much to begin with because they were professionals, died down to nothing at all.We didn’t stop moving though, not until something stumbled out ahead of us and we came to a stop without anyone communicating that we should.One of the scouts returned, covered in sweat, with a gash on his forehead and his wings buzzing loudly in the quiet as he came for a hard landing before the group. “Sir,” he gasped.“Report,” Bastion ordered.“Spiders, sir. Big ones.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Nine — Food for Thought
Chapter Three Hundred and Forty-Nine — Food for Thought It took Bastion half a second to come up with a plan. “Phalanx, I want a grid. Spears out ahead, swordsmen, be ready to take to the air. We’re going to need wide sweeps of fire to clear out any webbing.”“Oh no,” Calamity said. “Nope, nope, nope.”“What’s wrong?” I asked as the formation shuffled around us. We were being positioned near the rear, along with an obviously irate Princess Caprica.“I’m not, ah, fond of spiders. In fact, I’m very not-fond of them.”“Really?” I asked.“Yes, really,” he said. He reached for his pack and pulled out his unstrung bow, then quickly and expertly looped a string through one end and over to the other while bending the bow on the ground. “We have spiders out on the plains. They’re bigger than both my hands together and will pounce on any birds that fly too close. Whenever I see their nests I go the long way around.”“That is kind of spooky,” I agreed. I shucked off my pack and set it down to one side. A lot of the soldiers with extra equipment were doing the same. Then I pulled out Weedbane and held it close, ready to snap the blade out whenever I needed it.Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.“Broccoli,” Bastion called back.I jumped, then looked over the heads of the sylph between us to see the paladin waving me over. “I’ll be right back,” I told my friends before I pushed through the formation and towards Bastion. “What’s up?” I asked.He nodded to me, then gestured to his side. The scout from earlier was there and from up close I could see that he wasn’t in as bad a shape as I’d feared. Sure, his armour was dirtied up and a bit rough, but he didn’t seem wounded other than the gash on his forehead.I pushed a bit of Cleaning magic out, which startled him before he realised that his uniform was clean again.“Best to keep your magic reserves topped up,” Bastion advised. “We might be needing every spell we can muster soon.”“Oh, alright,” I said. I was pretty sure my Cleaning magic would work on spider-webs. It worked on cobwebs well enough. Though maybe those were different, in a way? It wasn’t hard to agree to hold back though. “What did you need me for?” I asked.“Negotiations,” he said.The scout looked as surprised as I felt.“I know you well enough,” Bastion continued. “You’re going to try to talk to the spiders whether or not I tell you not to, so I might as well nip this in the bud. When the spiders arrive, I’d like for you to open a dialogue with them.”“That makes sense,” I said. And it did sound like something I’d do. “We are invading their home, so it’s only polite to say hello.”“Yes, I’m sure,” Bastion said. “Mostly, my concern is trying to get past the forest without losing life or equipment, and perhaps even time. We’re on a schedule here.”“Right,” I said. “We might be able to ask for permission to peacefully cross their territory. And they might know about the pirates too.”He nodded. “That would be a great boon, yes. But keep in mind, if things don’t work out, or if the spiders are mere animals, I don’t want you interfering in the fight to protect them over us.”“I know. I’m not that silly.” Turning to the scout, I smiled before I asked him a few questions. “Did you see the spiders for yourself?”“Yes, ma’am,” he replied immediately.That was good. “What do they look like, exactly?”“They’re quite large, ma’am, easily the mass of a sylph, I’d guess. They are brown and black. I believe their... chitin might be a natural camouflage in these forests.”“Right. Are they more like ambush predators, like normal spiders, or are they more jump-in-your-face spiders?”The scout shrugged. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t know.”“Either is bad, but ambush predators would be worse,” Bastion said. “We need to stay sharp, but if we're constantly expecting an ambush, crossing the forest is going to wear down everyone's nerves.”That sounded about right. The forest was already a bit on the creepy side. I couldn't imagine walking through it while expecting a big spider to drop down from above or spring from a bush at any moment. Dangerous rescue missions were already stressful enough, if we added any extra stress, people might start cracking.A second scout came hurtling down from above. Not from ahead though, but instead from the side. “Sir,” she said as she landed at a jog. “Spiders, left flank.”“We’re being surrounded,” Bastion said. “Alright. Round formation everyone. Keep the VIPs and our range-experts centred. Eyes up. Keep flight to a minimum. Prepare to fight stealthed enemies. I want sense magics on full blast. Buffs up.”I felt a queasy sort of pressure in my tummy, and my skin tingled. I... had no idea what had just happened, but I could tell that it was magical, and it was coming from... Caprica? The Princess was standing tall, eyes closed, a fist over her heart. I noticed most of the soldiers standing a little taller, too.“That should help a little. Don’t rely on it alone though,” Bastion said.He didn't explain what Caprica had done, he was too busy moving to help the sylph form up into a perfect circle. The sylph with swords and shields were on the outside, with an inner circle of sylph with spears ready to poke out of the gaps in the shield wall. In the very middle my friends and a few sylph archers were getting ready to help as best they could.“Get into the formation,” Bastion ordered the two scouts and they both took to the air, flying over and into the centre. “Broccoli, if you would stay with me, please.”“Yeah, sure,” I said.“If I order you back into the formation, I do expect you to listen,” he warned.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.I nodded. I could do that. Bastion had a lot on his plate, dealing with a silly bun who couldn’t listen to orders-even if that silly bun was me-would just add to his burden in a way that wasn’t very kind.We waited, Bastion with his hand on the hilt of his sword, and me with Weedbane held like a staff while I swivelled my ears around to listen.When the spiders arrived, it was only someone in the formation saying “look!” that let me notice.The first spider to show up was a big one. They were about as tall as I was, though they though they seemed much, much wider due to their long, thin limbs that reached way out from its body. The limbs were quite hairy, all covered in spiky bristles, and it scanned the clearing with eight beady, pupil-less eyes that made it impossible to tell what, exactly, it was focusing on.“Hmm,” Bastion hummed. “Second tier.”I winced. “Does that mean that the spiders have access to a dungeon?”“It’s possible,” he said. “It could be a natural level. They’re all around the same level range. Or the few I’ve seen. It puts them on par with most of our soldiers. I was hoping to have a clear level advantage to leverage against their own advantages.”The spiders probably had a heap of natural advantages here. Plus, they were on their home terrain. Yeah, I could see why Bastion was worried. “Let me see what I can do,” I said.The big spider was clinging to the side of one of the trees, the claw-tips on the end of their legs hanging onto the bark so that they could stay in place, even if that place was on a vertical surface.I hopped forwards and away from the group until I was about halfway between us and the spider. Just one big backwards bounce back to the formation, if I had to run. I cleared my throat and looked at the spider.That’s when I realised that this would be one of those weird situations where I couldn’t just talk to someone, at least, not verbally... well, not only verbally. I took a deep breath, then clicked my tongue as hard as I could.The spider paused, his attention turning towards me as I clicked my tongue a few more times and tried to get the right sound and pitch.“Got it,” I muttered.Then I bounced into a wide squat, stuck my butt way out, and raised my arms above my head straight up, parallel to my ears.I clicked twice more while shifting to the side. “Hello, spider friend,” I.. didn’t so much say as I signed.The spider turned a little, then one of its rear legs moved up and wiggled while his thorax shifted. It clicked. “Stop. Wait.”That... wasn’t addressed to me, I don’t think. I glanced around, and started to notice that a number of the shadows nearby were moving in a way that didn’t match the wind passing through the canopy above.I shifted my arms again, this time at fixed angles, then I twitched my ears the same way. I was so lucky to be a bun. I was already two limbs short for a proper spider conversation, so my ears were invaluable at the moment. “Hello. We are friends. Not food. Passing through. Hello.”More spiders appeared, scuttling around tree trunks to come and stare with their many eyes.There was a faint echo of clicks that I would have dismissed as branches creaking if I didn’t know any better. It was kind of the equivalent of a crowd murmuring.“Broccoli?” Bastion asked.“We’re chatting,” I said. “Or I’m trying to. They talk in clicks and with their bodies. It’s kind of complicated.”“Tell us if they seem to be turning aggressive,” he said.I gave him a thumb’s up and returned my attention to the first spider that had shown up. It eyed me in turn, then it clicked and wiggled its thorax in a way that was actually kind of cute until I parsed what it was saying.“Food clicks at us. Strange. Dangerous. New food.”I wiggled back as soon as I could, and tried not to think of the group of people behind me watching me shake my bum. “Not food. Friend.”The spider twitched at me. “Look like food. Smell like food. Will taste. See if food.” Then it started to skitter down the tree until I danced faster to get it to pause.“Don’t eat. Not food,” I said. “Group is passing through trees. Group is looking for other food.” I was running into a pretty big problem with spider vocabulary. Also, getting called "food" was giving me flashbacks to meeting Savan.The spider let out an irate set of clicks. “All food in forest our food.”“Our food not in forest,” I replied with some clicks of my own. “Looking for food that looks like us.”“So is food?”Oops. I’d fallen into that trap feet-first.“No. Friend!” I signalled. There was more clicking from the forest, and I had the impression the peanut gallery of giant spiders were finding this exchange very amusing. Hopefully not in the predinner entertainment kind of way.“Confusing. Is food who says isn’t food. Is looking for food in our trees. Small. No webs. Not enough legs, but can still click,” the big spider said. “Will bring to Mommy.”“Yes,” I agreed. Was Mommy their leader? Maybe they were matriarchal.In either case, talking to their leader might be helpful. They might be older and wiser, or maybe just be better at communicating. That would be super helpful all on its own.“Broccoli!”I gasped as a large web shot out towards me, white silky material spreading out to envelope me. Then, faster than I could blink, Bastion was there with his sword singing and the web was sliced apart into a thousand ribbons.I gasped and turned to the spider. “Why web?” I signalled.“Cocoon the food for Mommy,” it clicked back.I had the impression it wouldn’t be getting any easier to communicate.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty — The Amazing Spidermom
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty — The Amazing Spidermom It took a bit of back and forth to convince the nice spider not to cocoon me to bring me to Mommy. In the end, I managed to convince them that if I was cocooned, I wouldn’t be able to speak at all since speaking in spider required some movement which I couldn’t manage if I was all tied up.One of the smaller spiders was voluntold to go fetch the spider matriarch, and I decided to retreat towards the safety provided by my friends and all the soldiers around them.“That seems to have gone well,” Amaryllis said.“Really?” Caprica asked. “Because we’re still surrounded by obviously hostile forces which we can’t number and whose strength we can’t determine.”“But Broccoli was able to talk to them,” Amaryllis argued. “Which means that either she’ll be able to convince them that we’re friendly, or they’ll presume that we’re as innocent and harmless as she is.”“Hey now,” I said, defending myself. “I can be harmful.”Amaryllis patted me on the helmet between my ears. “Yes, you’re very intimidating and harmful,” she said.I pouted.“Don’t worry, Broccoli, I’m sure you’ll be intimidating one day, if you work very hard at it,” Awen said comfortingly.“All of this aside,” Caprica said. “What did the spiders have to say? And what was with the... dancing you were doing? Is that how they communicate?”“It is,” I said. “They speak with their limbs a lot, and with those clicks. It’s a pretty simple language, I think. They don’t really have a grammar, so to speak, so you kind of need to interpret everything on its own merits.”“Interesting, but not what we’re here for,” Caprica said.“Right. They sent a spider off to get their matriarch. Or I think it’s their matriarch,” I said. “It sounds like someone important to them.”“A leader of some sort,” Caprica said. “Maybe we actually can negotiate. If we can’t though, I’m certain we have the manpower to press through. We have proper soldiers here, Sylphfreean soldiers, not some untrained rabble.”I noted the backs of the nearby sylph straightening a bit. So, they were listening in on us. Caprica had to know that. “Uh-huh,” I said. “But negotiation would still be better than fighting, I think. If only because I don't want us to get covered in webs and spider ichor. I can probably clean it, but it's gross.”“Time’s a concern as well,” Amaryllis said. “If things turn hostile, we may have to fight our way out, which will likely take a while and could even reveal our advance to the pirates. On the other hand, if we can successfully negotiate passage, we will be able to move rapidly, possibly even with a local guide.”“We’ll manage,” I said. Glancing back over the heads of the soldiers around us, I noticed that the spiders were standing a bit less stiff than usual. A number of them were rubbing their legs together, which didn’t mean anything, so I guessed that they were just quickly grooming themselves, like someone running a hand through their hair before an important meeting. “I think she’s arriving.”There was a skittering sound coming from deeper in the forest, just loud enough that it carried over the breathing of the soldiers. Some of the spiders started to click excitedly and they started to sway from side to side, some limbs rising and falling in what was almost a dance.They were basically chanting one word, over and over again. “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”A dozen new spiders poured into the clearing, clinging to the massive trees. Most were smaller than the spiders we’d seen already, but almost all of them carried a bundle on their backs.With quick and practised motions, the smaller spiders laid out long threads of silk which went taut with hard twangs. Others set down what were obviously wooden drums with skin tops and still others jingled and jangled as they tied maracas to the trees.“What are they doing?” Caprica asked.“Those are musical instruments,” Awen said. “A bunch of them.”The clearing quieted down and the spiders retreated, only far enough that they were half-hidden in the shadows and where they could watch us with gleaming eyes. A surruration of shifting sounds came from the ground ahead of us, and soon a spider came walking around the largest of the trees.She wasn’t walking vertically along the trees like her children had done, maybe because despite the enormous size of these trees, she was still too big to grab onto them.Mommy was three times as tall as I was, with mandibles longer than my arms and eyes as big as my entire head. She was covered in fine, bristly hairs on her legs and back and even around her torsos which twitched slightly as she moved.The gigantic spider came to stand in the clearing across from us, then her long limbs reached out and very gently touched the long silken threads connected to the instruments around her.There was a strange moment where she tested each string, one at a time, the drums thumped and boomed, the strings hummed like violins, the shakers above rasped and clattered.“Iiii am... Mom-me!” the spider said through the means of drum-beat booms and violin strums.“Well, that’s something I never expected to see,” Amaryllis muttered.“Was that in a language everyone understood?” I asked.“Yes, if barely,” Amaryllis said. “She has a bit of an accent.”“I think she’s doing very well, considering,” I said. “Let me go talk to her.”Amaryllis touched my shoulder. “Be careful, please.”“I will,” I promised. “Besides, if she went through all of this trouble to talk, then she must have something to say, right?” Stepping out from between the soldiers, I took a few steps towards Mommy, the huge spider, then I made a few quick gestures, with some clicks added in for good measure. Just to be safe though, I spoke to her aloud at the same time. “Hello, Mommy, I am... uh, Broccoli Bunch, a non-food friend.”This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“Yooou... arre innn myyy trreeees,” Mommy said with her many instruments. Her eight eyes were focused on me. “Yooou arre... NOT theee ot-her foooood.”“That’s because we’re not food at all,” I replied.Mommy the spider tilted her entire body slightly. “Yooou look smaaal... like fooood,” she said. “Buuuut not liike ouur fooood.”“That’s because we’re not from around here.”“Frrooom beyooond the treees,” she said.“Exactly!” I cheered. “We’re not from around here. We’re looking for people who are from here. A group of stealers. People who have flying... uh...” I hesitated. There wasn’t a word for ‘airship’ in spider, which probably made sense. “Houses,” I settled on.Mommy bobbed her entire body up and down. “The prooomise-breaakers,” she said with a click.The click was repeated by all of her many spider friends as a short-lived cacophony.“Who are the promise-breakers?” I asked.Mommy turned and pointed behind her and towards the south, more or less in the direction we were headed. “Theeey aree froom the stooone home.”“And they broke a promise?” I asked.She bobbed again. “Theey saaaid they wooould neeever reeeetuuurn. Yet, theeeey are heeeere.”“Are they people like us?” I half turned and gestured to the group behind me.“Smaaaall foooods, yes, buut nooot like yoou.” The spider leaned forwards. “Taaaller. With flying hooomes and louuud maaagic. Theeeey tauught mee woooords, buut theey broooke the prooomise.”“What was the promise?” I asked.“Thaaaat alllll whooo staaands in theeese trees are ouuuur fooood. That noo oone wouuld live in theiiir stoone hooome anymooore. Thaaat my childreeen wouuuldn’t be huuunted.”“Oh,” I said. Something in Mommy’s body language said that last was the part that hurt her the most. “I think I know who’s responsible. We’re here because they hunted some of our flying homes, and took some of our family. We’re here to take our homes, and the people they took, back.”Mommy tilted to the side, one of her legs crooking in a sort of ‘go on’ gesture.“We don’t want to fight you, Mommy. These are your, um, trees. So, how about you let us pass, and we won’t cross your forest again?”Mommy considered it. “Buuut wee couuuuld eaaat youuu.”I nodded. “You could. But we don’t want to be eaten, so we’d fight. And then some of your children would be hurt. We’re pretty tough, you know? If you let us pass without issue, then we might be able to do something about those people at the stone, if they’re the people we think they are.”The giant spider tapped the tip of one long leg against one of the strings spanning the clearing with a bassy thump. “Yeees,” she said at last, one claw running along a string to create the word. “Yooouu wiiiill saaaave myy chiiildren foor me.”“Um, yeah,” I agreed.The spider bobbed up and down and clicked happily. Her children did the same, until the forest was filled with echoing clicks. “Gooood. Leave as sooon as yoouuur dooone. Or beecoomme fooood.”With that, Mommy stepped back and turned around a large tree. Her children rushed ahead, grabbing her instruments in a flurry of motion before skittering after their mom.The others watched us for a few seconds more, then they tugged on strings and zipped up into the canopy above or climbed around trunks until, finally, we were alone in the forest.I let out a long breath, relieved at the sudden absence of giant spiders. Still, the fact that they’d disappeared so quickly and quietly was somewhat unnerving.Carefully, I stepped back and returned to my friends. The formation was still holding, but it was clear that the soldiers were beginning to relax, even if it was just a little. “That was stressful,” I said.“You did well,” Bastion replied. “That large spider, Mommy, you called it? That would have been a challenge to face even prepared as we were, and a few of the other spiders seemed tough to fight as well.”Caprica nodded along to the assessment. “We’re fine to carry on, then? I’m not entirely sure I heard everything it said correctly.”“She said we could. As long as we take care of the people at the stone. Which I’m guessing is an important place nearby? There’s supposed to be a tower, right?”“Yeah,” Amaryllis said. “Lightning Watch. Weren’t you supposed to ask the palace for information about that?”Caprica cleared her throat to cover the red splotches growing on her cheeks. “We should head out then, we don’t know if we can trust the spiders not to try and grab a few of us while our guard is down.”“We’ll change up the formation then,” Bastion said. “We’ll be operating with fewer scouts, only those I trust to be able to sneak past the spiders. And we’ll be moving slower. I doubt we’ll be reaching the tower before tomorrow morning. Maybe even in the afternoon.”Caprica grimaced, but nodded all the same. “The Royal Pride is waiting on our communication to start its baiting manoeuvres. We have that amount of time, in theory.”“If we can’t cross the forest again,” Awen said. “Then how will we get to the ships with the hostages?”“Oh,” I said. “That’s a good question.”“We won’t want to fight the spiders on the way back,” Bastion said. “We might have to wait at the tower for the ships to come around and retrieve us.”“That sounds kind of dangerous,” I said. The pirates would be on the lookout for ships, certainly. I didn’t want them launching to fight the Beaver Cleaver especially if I wasn’t onboard.Bastion started to order people around into a new formation, this one much shorter than the last, and I ended up next to Caprica, surrounded on all sides by watchful sylph soldiers. My friends were right behind us, of course.We started to move, and this time, all eyes were looking for the signs of a sudden spider attack.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-One — Mutually Assured Hugging
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-One — Mutually Assured Hugging By early evening, the scouts were able to see the tower. I could only catch a few glimpses of it in the distance, and it looked... like a large tower. It was octagonal and had balconies running around some floors, but it was still distant enough that I couldn’t make out much more about it.We had no choice but to stop eventually and set up camp. We were still maybe an hour’s walk from the tower itself, at least according to the scout who’d snuck up to it.The camp we set was different from what I was used to. The sylph found some fallen branches from the huge trees around us and used those and some Earth magic to create a palisade around our campsite. The smaller tents they carried were laid out in a circle around a larger one which sat in the middle and which my friends and I were currently standing within while the soldiers prepared for a big fight that we all hoped wouldn’t happen.“This is the tower,” the scout said. He tapped on an octagonal shape he’d drawn on a sheet of looseleaf. “And this is the path I uncovered leading to it. As you can see, it’s a switchback. It’s difficult to tell from here, but what we see of the tower is merely the upper half. Most of it is hidden by this rise here.”I nodded along as I followed on his map.“Where are their ships docked?” Amaryllis asked.“Along here, ma’am,” the scout said. He drew a circle with his fingertip. “There are structures here for the ships. They’re made of wood, probably sourced from this forest. They seem sturdy from afar. There are also buildings here and here.” He tapped two spots.“What sort of buildings?” Awen asked.“I couldn’t say with any certainty,” the scout replied. “They seem to be newer constructions than the tower itself.”“Number of ships?” Bastion asked.“Seven. Five look like Snowlander vessels, the other two are definitely harpy ships. One might be the main diplomatic vessel, it’s quite large and... ostentatious.”“Five Snowlander ships,” Amaryllis muttered. “Does that match up with what we know of their attack on the delegation?”“That's about the right number, yes, if we accept the accuracy of that ship's log from the Remiges Crown,” Awen said.Amaryllis nodded. “A good source,but the captain may not have managed to get an accurate number into the log. We should err on the side of caution and assume that they have more ships than that.”“And a large base of groundcrew working for them as well,” Caprica said. “Seven ships, even if they’re not all in use, is still a good-sized squadron. Any sign of the captives?”“No, your highness.”“Guards?” Bastions asked.“Few,” the scout said. “I only saw three, and I’m uncertain if two of them were actually guards or if they were just pirates stepping out for some air. They mostly seem to be sequestered within the tower, but it has parapets which allow them to see quite far into the forest. Anyone trying to move towards the tower will have to move along these rocks. There’s cover, but it’s sparse.” He traced a finger along the path again, and I could imagine someone standing atop the tower having a great view.“So, we can’t sneak in?” I asked.Caprica frowned. “Maybe not with our entire unit. The scouts can, certainly. I have full confidence in their ability to go unnoticed. Perhaps the royal guards we have as well, they have skills to go unnoticed.”The scout stood a little taller. “I’m certain my brothers in arms and I can reach the tower without being seen, your highness.”“I think I could make it,” Calamity mused. “If nya give me some time and the guards aren’t paying full attention.”“A distraction, then?” Awen asked.“Not as good of an idea as you might think,” Bastion said. “Any guards with even half-decent training will sound the alarm at an obvious distraction.”“It’s nearing evening,” Caprica said. “If we time things correctly, the Royal Pride will be passing by in the early morning. It might be the distraction we need, especially if they take the bait.”“Then we can have our ships launch just before we swoop in ourselves,” Amaryllis said. “It'll take them two, maybe three hours to reach us, I imagine.”I hummed. “So, we wait here until morning and try to be well-rested?” I asked. “That doesn’t sound very heroic.”Bastion rubbed at his jaw. “Well, a morning attack is our only good option. Moving in at dusk is too risky. The soldiers, with a few exceptions, aren’t trained for night operations, and we’re all a little tired from the trek we had to endure today.”I crossed my arms. I wanted to protest, but he wasn’t exactly wrong. I was a smidge tired. Not too bad. After all, I’d been adventuring for a little while and it involved a lot of long, long walks and lots of cardio.Bastion probably knew better, so we’d follow his advice and stay back. Besides, I kinda wanted to succeed without too much violence. If we barged up to the tower with overwhelming strength then we could tell the pirates to surrender and just grab the prisoners and run.A quick in-and-out, no one needed to get hurt, and at the end of the day we’d all be big old heroes.I liked the idea.“In that case,” Caprica said. “I have a few notes to send. I imagine you’d enjoy a warm meal.”The scout nodded. “That would be welcome, ma’am,” he replied.“Good. Let’s get everything sorted while we can. Tomorrow will prove to be a busy day, I imagine. Broccoli, could you follow me for a moment?”I blinked, then nodded and followed Caprica into the deeper parts of the tent where a section was walled off by a hanging curtain. There was a small bed behind that, mostly just a padded cushion with some blankets atop of it, but it looked leagues comfier than sleeping on the ground.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.Caprica rubbed at her face, and let her shoulders droop. “Are you okay?” I asked. I hadn’t noticed any signs that she was stressed until just then.She smiled. “I’m fine. It’s a lot of work, but... well, I feel like I’ve been training for this my whole life. Anyway.” She took a deep breath and shored up her reserves.Then I hugged her.“Broccoli?” she questioned, holding her arms out awkwardly.“Back in my home world, everyone knew that thirty seconds of hugging could help you relax. I think it’s because we need physical contact to feel safe. You know, like how doggies all sleep together in a big pile.”“I’ll thank you for not comparing me to a dog,” she said.I squeezed a bit tighter. “Cats do it too,” I said.“Hmm...” she paused. “Broccoli, I think it’s been more than thirty seconds.”“That’s for humans,” I said. “I don’t know how long it is for buns or sylph, so I’m being safe.”“I suppose we’ll need all the safety we can get.”I squeezed harder before finally letting go. I looked her up and down. “Are you feeling a little better?” I asked.She nodded. “I am,” she assured me. I wasn’t sure if I believed her. Medication often had to be used over a long time to help someone feel better, and I think hugs were the same. I was going to prescribe her a dose of hugs, twice daily, from here on out.“So, what did you want? Just hugs?”She shook her head. “No, I wasn’t looking for hugs. Though... thank you for that. I wanted to talk about something more... dangerous.”More dangerous than hugs? That didn’t narrow it down at all, everything was more dangerous than a hug. “What is it?”“Rainnewt,” she said, and I felt my back straightening. “Under any other circumstances, his head would have gone to the block already.”“What?” I asked with a gasp.She blinked. “What-what?”“You’d kill him?” I asked.“Broccoli, he acted as if the lawbooks were a checklist of crimes to commit. Attempted regicide, terroristic threats, attempted mass murder, actual murder. That’s not getting into all of the smuggling, conspiracy, identity theft and the use of countless illegal spells. He’s likely responsible for destroying dungeon cores, which alone would be enough. What did you expect us to do with him?”“I... don’t know,” I said, shifting my weight from foot to foot. “I guess put him in a cell and try to reform him.”“I don’t think there are enough hugs in the world for that,” she said. “But it’s all moot now. With him being part of the ransom demands from these pirates, the Harpy Mountains would throw a fit if we executed him.”It sounded as if that was rather important. “You’re not going to?”“We don’t want to spark a war. Not after we came so close to starting one because of Rainnewt. The irony would be too much, I think, if a war started because of him even after we captured and foiled his plans.”“I guess,” I said. “Do you think he planned on using the pirates and their hostages as a sort of contingency?.”“A lot of what Rainnewt was up to is still murky and unknown. I think we can assume that most of it wasn’t good. The telling thing is that this Commodore Megumi wants him freed. It has the feeling of a contingency plan going off.”“Well, we’re not going to give him back, are we?” I asked.“We can’t,” she said. Then Caprica sighed. “He escaped.”I gasped. “He what?”That... no, how could he? We’d worked so hard to grab him! And he wasn’t just in some little sheriff’s office or something, he’d been taken in by the sylph army. They were supposed to be competent.Caprica placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “It’s okay. We’ll find him again. We have the best investigators in the country on his trail, and we’ve captured his co-conspirator already.”“Someone helped him?” I asked.She nodded. “He couldn’t have gotten out without the help. As it turns out, he had more contingencies than we expected, including kidnapping some middling-ranked officer’s family and holding them hostage unless they helped him escape. It worked.”“That’s awful,” I said. “I hope they don’t get into too much trouble.”Caprica blinked. “Uh. I’ll make sure of that, sure. I thought you’d be more concerned about his escape?”“Oh, I’m very concerned,” I said. “But... I don’t think he’ll come after me or my friends. Rainnewt struck me as very goal-oriented. We stopped him, but unless we meet again, he doesn’t seem very vengeance-inclined.” I tighten my fists. “But if we do meet him again, I think I might have to put my feelings aside to beat the stuffing out of him.”“Do you want a hug?”I blushed, then nodded. “Yes please, I think I’d like that.”Caprica’s hug was very technically correct and also very stiff. The princess clearly lacked hugging practice. But there was a lot of heart in it, so I hugged her right back and enjoyed the contact while it lasted.“Thanks,” I said once the hug ended. “I guess I should tell my friends?”“You can. I’d suggest being discreet though, the news isn’t out yet, and we’re obviously keeping it quiet. It wouldn’t do for the world to learn we’ve fumbled. Especially not the harpy.”I clasped my hand over my mouth. “They need Rainnewt for the hostages.”“And we’re all out of Rainnewt to give,” Caprica said. “Things will get rather heated, I think, if we can’t save the day.”I narrowed my eyes. “Don't worry, Caprica. If me and my friends are good at one thing, it's kidnappings. We have a lot of experience.”She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. A moment later, she tried again: "...I am going to choose to believe that I was reassured by that."
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Two — With Catlike Tread
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Two — With Catlike Tread One of the soldiers tripped on some loose stones and his armour rattled as he caught himself against the cliffside.Bastion half-turned and made a gesture that I didn’t need my translation abilities to understand meant, “I said be quiet.”In the soldier’s defence, it wasn’t easy. We were walking more or less single-file along a path picked out by a few of the scouts. It wound around the cliff edge below the tower, mostly keeping to outcrops and nooks where someone looking from the tower wouldn’t be able to see our group moving.The tower did as towers do, and towered above us. It was quite a bit larger than I expected, actually. The building’s footprint must have been more than a hundred metres across, and it was shaped like a large octagon, with sheer walls only broken up by the occasional balcony that stuck out above.The entire structure was clearly made from the same kind of stone as we walked upon, though I imagined that there was some magic involved in its construction,seeing as it was so remote.Ahead of me, Caprica paused, then nipped into a depression against the cliffside where she set her shield down and took off her gloves. A moment later she was holding onto a long slip of paper.“Anything good?” I asked as I came closer.“Report from the Royal Pride. It’s beginning its run now. Let’s pray to the World that this works,” she said.I nodded along. “I’m sure they’ll take the bait. It’s big and juicy!”She snorted and pulled her gloves back on over her communication ring, then she picked up her shield and hefted it. “Come on, we still need to get into position ourselves.”As it turned out, our position was only a little ways away. The scout explained to us that it was the last point where we could reliably hide without being spotted by anyone who looked. Even then, the spot was rather tight with all of the sylph soldiers bunched in close to stay in the shadow of an outcrop.I didn’t mind so much; I got to bunch in close to my friends. “Do you think this will go well?” I asked.“It might,” Amaryllis said. “If we can move swiftly and with overwhelming force, things will go just fine, I suspect. These sylph are well-trained, I’ll give them that. Probably better than any common pirate rabble.”Awen shrugged. “Ah, I don’t know. But we have to try, right? If we don’t, they might end up freeing Rainnewt, and that wouldn’t be any good.”A pit opened in my tummy. I still hadn’t told my friends what Caprica had told me — that Rainnewt had already escaped. I probably should have, but there hadn't been a good time for it. We’d slept in a tent with walls thin enough that anyone could eavesdrop on us and we’d been walking since the morning.“Who’s this Rainnewt fella?” Calamity asked.“He’s a fool of the highest order and someone whose head can’t be separated from his body soon enough,” Amaryllis said.“Um. Rainnewt is a riftwalker who destroyed a bunch of dungeons,” Awen said. “But he also, ah, tried to start a war.”“A war between who?” Calamity asked.“Everyone,” I said. “The Trenten Flats, Sylphfree, the Nesting Kingdom, and even the grenoil down in Deepmarsh. He hurt a lot of people, framed innocent people, and basically did terrible things just because he was too lazy to find a more peaceful solution to his problem... our problem, I guess.”“Huh.” Calamity rubbed his chin. “Well, he sounds like the sort of person nya wouldn’t mind getting into a hunting accident with.”I shook my head. “No, you wouldn’t want that. He’s actually pretty strong. He even fought Bastion. Though Bastion’s a better fighter, Rainnewt is a lot trickier.”“He fought the Paladin?” Calamity asked. He glanced to Bastion who was talking to some of Caprica’s royal guardsmen at the moment. “Bet I could take him.”Amaryllis snorted. “Maybe if he was tied to a post, blindfolded, and wearing only what he hatched with.”I giggled at the mental image of Rainnewt covered in egg-goop. Amaryllis gave me a confused look, and I shook my head. “You’re cute,” I said.She huffed a very clear “I am no such thing,” kind of huff back at me.“This Rainnewt guy work for any country?” Calamity asked.“As far as we’re aware, no,” Amaryllis said. “It’s very probable that he’s an independent actor.”“Except that the pirates want him, so they have to have been working with him too,” Awen pointed out.“We’ll be taking care of them shortly enough,” Calamity asserted.Bastion cleared his throat. “Quiet down,” he said, voice a low rumble that still carried. A few of the soldiers had also been chatting, and they clammed up right away.I did the same, with a little zip-up-my-mouth motion that only had Bastion shaking his head in confusion. I guessed that zippers weren’t a thing yet.“Check your gear, weapons at the ready,” Bastion ordered, again in the same tone that wouldn’t carry far.Was Ventriloquism a Paladin skill?I checked on Weedbane while Awen loaded up her crossbow, Amaryllis checked the straps on her holstered dagger-wand, and Calamity strung his bow. His weapon was the most well-worn in our bunch, but he looked really comfortable with it. It was a simple wooden recurve bow, with only a few scratched-on flowers on the shaft as decoration. He set a quiver up against his hip with a couple dozen arrows within, each stuck through a bunched up piece of cloth to prevent them from rattling around.“Are you ready?” I asked.He nodded. “Never hunted pirates before,” he said. “A whole new sort of prey.”“Try not to hurt them too much,” I said.If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.He blinked at me, then Amaryllis jumped in to explain. “She has a pacifist streak a flight wide. Even if the people we’re fighting are clearly criminals.”“That’ll make it a bit more of a challenge.” He paused, then grinned. “I like challenges.”We were interrupted by Caprica who spoke up from the middle of the formation. “The Royal Pride reports they have been spotted,” she said. “Just a few more minutes now and we’ll know if our plan will work.”The next few minutes passed like molasses through an hourglass. I fidgeted, then tried to stop because I didn’t want to waste any energy before we started.Suddenly, one of our scouts appeared from behind a rock. I hadn’t heard them moving at all, and I had the impression that I only noticed them because they didn’t mind being noticed.He joined the princess and the Paladin,speaking to them in low tones. We were just close enough that if I twisted my ears their way I could eavesdrop a pinch.“Ma’am, sir. I believe the pirates have taken the bait. Three of their ships are scrambling to cast off as we speak.”“Only three?” Caprica asked.“They might not believe they need more,” Bastion said. “Or, perhaps that’s as many as they can have ready on short notice.”“Three out of seven isn’t ideal,” Caprica said. “But I suppose they’d leave some guards behind for their hostages. It’s better than having to face off against the entire force, in any case. And it means less resistance for the Royal Pride. It might be able to outrun them.”“It also means fewer ships already in the air once our transportation arrives,” Bastion added.Caprica nodded, then turned her focus back onto the scout. “Alert us as soon as the ships have taken off. We’ll move then and try to time it so that our attack coincides with the ships being out far enough that we’ll have time to secure the tower before they can return.”“Yes, your highness,” the scout said. He snapped a quick salute, then flew off over the rocks with a buzz that faded almost instantly.“I guess we’ll be heading out soon,” I said. My grip on Weedbane tightened.“Don’t be so worried. We’re only facing rabble and pirates,” Amaryllis said.“I think I’ll be worried no matter what,” I replied. There was no reason to assume that these pirates weren’t going to be tough opponents. And our main priority was still finding and saving their hostages.“Buff time?” Awen asked.I nodded, happy for the distraction, then I pulled out my tea set. I didn’t have anything particularly useful, but I had one tea that could soothe the nerves, and so I prepared a quick brew of that. It smelled nice, and when it finally came time to share, I had a few soldiers looking at us longingly, so of course I shared.Then, once the third kettle of tea was gone, I stuffed everything away and started giving out hugs liberally. The buff from that was tiny, but it might still help, and sometimes everything counted!Plus, it was an excuse to hugs!Bastion perked up at about the same time as I was done snuggling all of my friends. “We’re heading out,” he said. “Stay low, move fast. Keep quiet if you can. Once we reach the tower we’ll be dividing into two groups. But before that, we need to secure an entrance. The scouts have determined the tower likely has only two entrances. We're going to use the one at the base of the tower; unfortunately, it's on the other side, so we'll need to circle around. Securing it will severely impact the adversary’s ability to manoeuvre.”Caprica nodded. “Once inside, our primary objective, above all else, is securing the hostages. So clearing the route from the hostages-wherever they may be-to the first floor will be our second priority.”“Our third,” Bastion continued right where she left off. “Is crippling the pirate’s operation. We don’t have the ability to imprison such a large group. That means that we need to make it difficult for them to operate so that a larger force can properly remove them as a threat later.”Caprica grinned. “Take out food supplies if you see them. We might be destroying whatever cisterns they have and piercing their fuel supplies as well. A small team will be sent to cripple their remaining ships. Cut important ropes, break flight mechanisms, poke holes in their balloons and ballast tanks.”“This is off the books,” Bastion said. “Officially, we’re not here unless this mission is a resounding success. For the moment, you are technically not soldiers of Sylphfree, but mercenaries working at your own discretion. That also means that we can’t afford to leave anyone behind. These pirates won’t play by the same rules as a proper army would.”“Keep yourselves safe,” Caprica said. I think she was really enjoying her byplay with Bastion. “Keep your brothers and sisters in arms safe as well.”The scout returned, perching next to the outcrop we were using for cover. “Ma’am, the ships are leaving.”I looked past him and saw that he was right, three airships were taking to the air. Two of them looked like naval ships, and I suspected they were harpy designs, the third and largest was all boxy and square.“Not all of them are Snowlander ships then,” Awen said. She sounded a smidge disappointed.“Good,” Amaryllis said.“Let’s move out, everyone,” Bastion ordered.We did as he said, filing out from behind the rock and moving at a quick jog towards the tower. The scout took the lead, walking a zig-zag route that was easier to follow up the cliffside.My heart was beating so fast in my chest that I could hardly hear anything else, even with all the ears I had. This was going to be something, and I wasn’t sure I was entirely ready for it.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Three — Octagon
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Three — Octagon The tower’s base was another octagonal ring, but this one stuck out a little, with archways leading up to a crenellated terrace maybe ten metres off the ground that encircled the entire building. That’s where the docks started. They were a series of long platforms, connected together and with wooden trusses rising from below to hold them in place.The plateau the tower was on had to be somewhat artificial, there was a wide space around the tower that didn’t have any large stones on it, and those on the edge were cut into as if someone had just... sliced through the stones without any resistance.“There are the guards,” Bastion said.“Five of them,” Caprica said after pulling her head back from around the boulder we had crept up behind.“Six,” Bastion said. “Four by the entrance, two above. There’s one in the shadows of those crates. Might not be a guard, but it’s another set of eyes.”I looked out myself, grabbing my ears to hold them down so that only the top bit of my head would be poking out.I spotted three guards near the entrance, with two more up on the top of the base, looking bored behind the crenelations. Finding the sixth took a bit of squinting, but he revealed himself when my eyes caught the motion of him scratching his nose. Just as Bastion said, he was half hidden behind a stack of crates.They were all human. Or close enough to human that I couldn’t tell them apart from this far out. For all I knew, they were catfolk like Calamity and I couldn’t see their ears from way over where I was hidden.“The scouts might be able to take one or two out before they’re noticed, but I wouldn’t gamble on any more than that,” Bastion said. “I’m open to ideas.”“We need to remove the ships from play as soon as possible,” Caprica said. “Whatever we do to reach the tower, we should have a team split off right away to sabotage their ships. We should probably avoid fire though, I didn’t expect the docks to overhang the forest at all.”The docks, unfortunately, did. Though in Carpica’s defence, it was on the other side of the rise as the one we’d climbed on. I guessed that they needed the additional space for some of the larger, missing ships.“We don’t want to destroy the docks themselves either,” Amaryllis added. “We can use them.”“Good idea,” Caprica said. “So, clearing the docks is a priority.”Bastion considered that, then gestured up the length of the tower. “We can’t do that if we don’t clear all the floors in the tower above the docks, or else someone could toss spells and stones down at us.”“Didn’t we plan on clearing it in any case?” Caprica asked.“We’ll try, but to do something like that, I'd prefer to have four times as many soldiers at my side,” he said. “Ideally, we’ll fulfil our primary mission objective and extract from there.”“Right, of course,” Caprica said with a nod. “So, how do we move from here?”Bastion’s eyes narrowed as he thought, then he nodded. “We have a few decently capable mages, including you, Miss Albatross. If they each pick a target and hit them all at once... it’ll be noisy, but some noise is better than someone outright sounding the alarm.”“I’m in,” Amaryllis said.“After that, we’ll grab those here who can’t fly and move up to the space above the entrance,” Bastion continued.“I am significantly less in,” Amaryllis amended.“It’ll be less guarded than the main entrance. Though I suspect the hostages will be kept below,” Bastion said.‘Because it’s easier to bring things down for them than up?” Awen asked.“Because you can toss things onto their heads for a laugh?” Calamity added.Bastion shook his head. “Because they have four guards at a door leading to nowhere in particular. It’s likely the exit nearest the one the hostages would use if they were escaping.”He turned after saying that, and then picked out five sylphs from the soldiers behind us. Two of them were the royal guards attached to Caprica, and the other three seemed kind of random to me. I guess he had a way of knowing who could do what, or he’d just read their profiles or met them or something.I was having a bit of a hard time remembering all of the soldier’s faces, and they mostly just called each other by their rank or by nicknames, which didn’t help at all in getting to know them.The five that Bastion had tapped moved to the front, and then he pulled Amaryllis closer too. After kneeling down, he started to doodle on the ground, and I recognized it as a top-down view of the tower’s front. He drew X’s where the guards were, then pointed to each soldier in turn and to one of the guards. “We must neutralise them before they can react. Use a spell that flies as fast as possible and is guaranteed to silence them. You’ll only have a couple of seconds to line up your shot on my command.”He allowed all of them to peek out for a second to see where their targets were, then all six of them started to prepare their spells.“This is interesting,” Calamity said. “We do something similar when hunting cockatrices.” He unshouldered his bow and pulled an arrow out from his hip-sheath.“What are you doing?” I asked.“Just in case,” he said with a smile.“Go!” Bastion snapped.Amaryllis was the first to duck out to the side while a soldier followed her, the other four jumped up above the stone we were using as cover.Six spells were cast in the same breath, beams of light, flashes of actinic electricity, and a few quick-moving blurs of mana all speared out towards the tower.“No!” One of the soldiers hissed.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.“See,” Calamity said. He bolted up the stone, planted his foot against it and jumped into the air.My friends and I rose to see what he was doing.Calamity nocked an arrow, aimed, and fired, all while still in mid-air and with the kind of grace that made the whole thing look like it was easy for him.Near the tower, five of the guards were on the ground, some shaking, some bleeding, and one covered in green goop. A sixth was still up though and running towards a bell on the far end of the entrance from where he was.Calamity’s arrow thumped into the guard’s knee, and he went down with a scream.“Move!” Bastion said.We moved.“Squad B, secure the prisoners, then rendezvous with us above. Squad C, carry the land-bound to the balcony above. Squad A, with me, we’re clearing the floor,” Bastion barked out commands so quick that I had a hard time keeping up.A sylph approached all of my friends, wings buzzing as they beat hard. “I’m good!” I told the one who moved over to me.A group rushed ahead, pulling ropes out of their backpacks which they used to tie up the pirates by the front entrance. That had to be squad B, then.I was nearly at the base of the docks, now. I started pumping stamina into my legs then hopped twice before launching into the air. The momentum was enough to catapult me up and onto the landing above.The sylph landed around me, and then they fanned out into a line, weapons out and eyes peeled for trouble. My non-flying friends were dumped next to me with a bit more speed than grace before squad C reformed into the line.“Alright, B, once you’ve secured the last prisoner, you’re on sabotage duty,” Bastion said. He gestured to the ships still moored in place. “Go make those inoperable. Squads A and C, you’re with me, we’re going to clear this floor, then work our way up. Squad D... that’s Broccoli’s Bunch, you’re working with Princess Caprica and her guards. Clear the bottom-most floors.”“Got it!” I said with a salute. I would have preferred squad B, for Broccoli, but I could live with being squad D.We would need to come up with a cool name for our squad. The Destroyers? The Danger... somethings? Yeah! And we needed a uniform, or maybe just some pins, and of course we needed a secret handshake.“Broccoli?” Amaryllis asked.“Oh, sorry, yes,” I said. “We’re going down, right?”“Yeah,” Amaryllis said. “I think Caprica’s in charge of our little squad?”The other sylph were moving out with alacrity, quickly following Bastion’s instructions with the kind of almost-janky motions I’d come to expect from soldiers who’d trained for the moment a thousand times before.Carpica nodded. “I suppose I do outrank everyone and I do have more training than most of you.” She glanced at her two quiet guardsmen, a pair of sylph men who’d barely spoken a word at all in the last couple of days. “I just wish we were squad C, for Caprica,” she muttered so low that I wouldn’t have picked it out without extra ears.“So, how’re we doing this?” Calamity asked. He tugged a fresh arrow out and held it pinched in the same hand holding his bow.“We go in now,” Caprica said. “Bastion’s squadron will clear this floor, so we’ll go down as soon as we can, then we clear every room we come across. Awen, Calamity, can you take the middle? Broccoli, Amaryllis, at the rear, and myself and my guards will take the front.”“Got it,” I said. I made sure Weedbane was folded up. It wouldn’t be handy while deployed inside of a building unless the tower interior was much more spacious than I expected.We moved in as a group through the large doorway into the tower, and I noticed something right away. The doorway was almost exactly as large as the corridor within. It was not spacious at all, with walls that were too close together and a ceiling that was a bit on the taller side. The frequent archways didn’t help any since they squeezed the space in a little and had some space behind them where someone could conceivably stand.“This place is weird,” I said as I glanced over the heads of my friends ahead of me. The corridor was dimly lit by lamps hanging from the wall and burning a bit of oil.“It’s built for war,” Caprica said. “Narrow corridors mean that one or two trained soldiers can defend an entire passage on their own. If the pirates had time to prepare, this is going to be challenging.”Fortunately, the corridor ended in a large room with a much taller ceiling. The room was octagonal, with doors into rooms along the edges and eight more corridors leading outside. The path down was right in the centre, a big stairwell that probably rose up through the entirety of the tower.Bastion’s squadron was already in the staircase, three sylph looking up, three looking down, while the rest of the squadron barged into each room, one at a time and checked it for pirates.I saw them dragging one pirate out of what was obviously some sort of restroom. The man was screaming into the rope they’d tied over his mouth and he was walking awkwardly with his pants around his ankles.I turned away before I saw something I shouldn’t. Poor pirate, being caught on the toilet of all places was just embarrassing.“We’ll stop anyone from coming from above,” Bastion said.“Thank you,” Caprica replied as she passed. “And the exterior?”“The scouts will report it if anyone approaches,” he said. “They’ll be acting as runners between the squad leaders.”“Understood. Good luck up there,” she said.“And you, Princess,” he said. Bastion gave her a rare smile and a quick salute.Judging by the flush on Caprica’s cheeks, she’d treasure that smile for a while. “Alright, let’s go!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Four — Piracy's a Crime and Crime Doesn't Pay
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Four — Piracy's a Crime and Crime Doesn't Pay We descended the staircase to the distant sound of fighting echoing down from above us. I imagined that Bastion and the other squads had encountered a few pirates already. We had been lucky so far, the spiral staircase was free of any sort of guards or curious pirates, and as we reached the ground floor, we found the stairs ending at a final door.One of Caprica’s guards pressed up against the door and closed his eyes. “I hear three on the other side,” he said. “More within.”“We’ll have to assume they’re hostiles,” Caprica said. She adjusted her shield and then stretched the shoulder of her sword-arm. “We’ll try not to kill anyone, but if the choice is between you and them... well, they’re pirates.”I nodded, relcutantly. I didn’t like it, not one bit, but I understood where she was coming from. If I had to choose between my friends and some meanies, the choice wasn’t hard to make, just hard to live with.“We’ll stick together where we can,” Caprica said. “Hopefully we’ll be able to clear things room-by-room without too much trouble. Everyone ready?”“Yup,” Calamity said.Awen nodded, and Amaryllis said, “I suppose so.”“I’m ready too,” I said as I tightened my grip on Weedbane’s staff.Caprica gestured, and her guard carefully and silently opened the door, then stepped into the room as if he belonged there. We filed in after him.As it turned out, the layout for this floor was similar to the one above. There was a large space with octagonal walls and corridors radiating outward. The passage leading to the exterior gate was wider than the rest, but otherwise, it seemed as if maybe the entire tower was made of identical floors.Three pirates were loitering next to the door, and all three turned around and stared with slack-jawed surprise as we walked in.“Hey, you’re not—” the closest began.Caprica’s guard bashed him in the nose with the pommel of his sword, then swept his legs out from under him. The other guard flew straight towards the furthest of the pirates who was fumbling a knife out of a hip-sheath, which left the middle-most one for Caprica.The princess grinned and her wings buzzed as she suddenly darted forwards and rammed her shield into the pirate’s stomach. He folded in half and fell onto his bum.I looked around. The ground floor had plenty of crates and boxes laying around, as well as cages and some couches. Those couches were occupied.A dozen pirates were lingering around a big hookah with long tubes and little pipette-thingies. They stared for a moment as three of their friends went down, then one of them slurred, “Invaders!”“Oh good, they’re all in one place,” Amaryllis said. The air around her crackled.“Wait,” I said before I jumped up and onto one of the crates. The pirates were still a little distance away, so I was safe, probably. “Hello everyone!” I called. “My name is Captain Broccoli Bunch, and you’re all under arrest for piracy and kidnapping and for doing the kinds of stuff that pirates generally do. If you surrender nicely and let us tie you up, I’m sure we can make it so that no one needs to get hurt.”One of the pirates flung something at me, and I flinched aside, almost tripping off the edge of the crate. I needn't have bothered, though: there was a whistle, and an arrow struck the item out of the air. Both projectiles ricocheted off at wild angles. The arrow slammed into a couch, and nasty, serrated knife smacked into the crate I was standing on.“Don’t seem like they’re wanting ta surrender, captain,” Calamity said as he casually nocked another arrow.“I guess not,” I said. That was disappointing, but no one couldn’t say that I didn’t try.“There’s just a few of them!” One of the pirates yelled. “Get ‘em!”I jumped back as the pirates ran across the room, some stopping to pick up clubs or short, curved swords. Most of the pirates, I noticed, were human, but there was a harpy and two sylph there as well. One of the sylph buzzed up into the air, then charged right at me, sword-first.I batted the sword aside, made myself small so that he flew right through where I was a moment before, then I spun while returning to my normal height and bonked him across the back with Weedbane’s staff.His violently flapping wings caught on Weedbane and I heard a series of brittle cracks. Howling, he smashed face-first into the stone floor, blood splattering out from a broken nose.The fight erupted into chaos. Awen’s crossbow thunked and a pirate went down screaming, then Calamity sprinted along the outer edge of the room, followed by a pair of pirates while he fired arrows so fast his hands were a blur. They hit more often than not, too.Amaryllis cast a big spell, and the corner of the room where the pirates had been relaxing exploded with questing arcs of bright-blue electricity that ground themselves in the slower pirates.They shouted and dropped their weapons as they went spasming onto the ground.Caprica and her guards moved up, cutting off the pirate’s charge with a wall of immovable shields and quick, expert takedowns.Not to be undone, I started flinging cleanballs at the enemy. They wouldn’t hurt any, but the pirates didn’t know that, and they tended to jump out of the way to dodge and that left them prone for the others to take them out.One of the doors to the side burst open, and I glanced over just in time to see six more pirates run into the room howling with their arms raised.Awen eeped and spun, firing a bolt that thumped into one of the pirates wearing an ill-fitting breastplate. He flopped forwards, arms cartwheeling as he lost his footing and sprawled into his buddies.“Broccoli, distract them!” Amaryllis called out.“Got it!” I said before I bounced over to the pirates. I landed on a crate before them, then flicked Weedbane out, the blade snapping in place with a very final, very dangerous sound. Then I pushed some mana into the weapon and it started to glow, with wisps of cleaning magic flickering off the edges like barely contained fires. "Surrender please!" I shouted.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.The pirates scrambled to a halt, watching me warily.After a moment of glancing around and finding my companions locked in combat elsewhere, the lead one firmed up and took a step forward. "Surrender? To one cutesy girl?"I grimaced. "Surrender or... or I'll hurt you!"He shot me a flabbergasted look with his one working eye. "Do I look like I fear pain?" he asked, gesturing with a scarred hand that was missing half its fingers.I slumped a bit. "Well, no. Not really."He grinned a gap-toothed grin, and took a step forward-Amaryllis fired her splashy chain lightning spell again, catching him full in the chest. Bolts of actinic blue coursed through his skin, leaping backwards from his body and tearing into the five pirates behind him.As they spasmed to the ground, I hopped forward and began whacking heads with the blunt side of Weedbane."Nice distraction," Amaryllis heaved out as she shook her arm, sparks jumping off of it."Eh?" I pouted. "I didn't even get to the distraction. You interrupted me."She rolled her eyes, valiantly forcing her lips not to smile as sweat dripped from her feathery hair.The last pirate went down with an almost comical bonk as Caprica smacked him with the middle of her shield. She stepped back, shield up and eyes peeled for trouble, but it looked as though we’d won.“I... expected more,” she said.“More of a challenge, or more pirates?” Calamity asked. He stepped over to a pirate nursing an arrow wound in the meat of his shoulder and yoinked the arrow out. The pirate didn’t enjoy that much and cursed Calamity, but the fight had, been beaten out of them.“I think I was expecting more of both,” Caprica said.“These are the dregs,” Amaryllis said. “Barely any armour, no proper weapons.”“I suppose so. Let’s check the rooms around here, just in case.” Caprica gestured to Calamity. “Can you and Awen and one of my guards round these idiots up. Divest them of their weapons and tie them up near the centre of the room. We’ll decide what to do with them later.”“Did any of them surrender?” I asked. “If they did, we should be nicer.”“I don’t think any of them took that option, Broccoli,” Awen said. “Isn’t that right, mister?” She poked a groaning pirate with the toe of her boot. “Broccoli tried to be nice and you tried to kill her. That’s just bad manners.”I made a mental note not to anger Awen in the future. She seemed a bit vindictive sometimes. “So, we clear out the rooms now?” I asked.“In case any of them are hiding more pirates, yes,” Caprica said.“And to loot the place,” Calamity added.We all looked at him.“What? They’re pirates, taking from them isn’t theft,” he defended himself.I nodded. That was true. Plus looting sounded a but fun when it was morally justifiable!There were lots of crates in the room. A few were open at the top, revealing things like furniture packed away for later, but some had what looked like airship parts and one, fortunately on the opposite end of the room where all the pirates were hanging out, had a rack inside of it filled with long metal-tipped bolts that looked like they belonged on a very big crossbow.“Find some rope, get tying,” Caprica said. “Amaryllis, Broccoli, come and help me, please.”The first room we poked into was more storage, this one filled with bags of grain and a few surprised rats.The next looked like barracks, and we caught one pirate snoring in a bunk bed. Amaryllis and I snickered as Caprica’s guards poked him awake, then helped him to his feet and tied his hands together behind his back. He was confused the entire time and only really started waking up when we brought him back to where the other pirates were being held.The next few rooms weren’t much to look at. We found some pirate cooks in the kitchen, brandishing knives and looking rather fierce, but I was able to convince them to drop the knives without too much trouble. We sorta outnumbered them at that point.The last room we barged into had us all pausing.It was a large space. This area hadn’t been subdivided into more rooms like the sleeping area, and it wasn’t a big utilitarian space like the kitchens. Instead, the room was split down the middle by a corridor. On either side and at the end were big cages.We’d found some of the hostages.In each cage was a huddled form of a bedraggled harpy, feathers bent and moulting. A single dim light revealed pallid skin clinging tightly to bony joints, barely covered by stained and threadbare clothing.The smell hit me a moment, like rot and sewage, and I gagged before pushing some mana into a Cleaning aura around myself.“It looks like they divided things by gender,” Caprica said. She sounded detached, clinical, almost. Her face didn’t have any expression that I could see, which was wholly different from the little proud smile she had a moment before.“Yeah,” I said. I stepped into the room, then squinted around myself. We needed more light, so I started to cast lightballs and pushed them around.That roused some of the captives. In the light, I could see sores and bruises on some of them. Others had bandages stained red and yellow. One man was missing most of his wing, laying on his back and seemingly unresponsive.Unconsciously, I almost pulled my lights away so I wouldn't have to see. I didn't, though. I wouldn't give in.I took a deep breath, then did the first thing I could to help. I smiled as big as I could, even if it was a little brittle, and called out, “Hi everyone! I’m Broccoli, and I’m here to help.” I flared out m Cleaning aura to start making things a little better.More heads rose, and a few of the captives stood. They could still stand and walk ... or at least, these ones could. That was good.How long had they been here?Suddenly, I felt terribly guilty about every minute we wasted. “Where are the keys?” I asked.“We should organise things,” Caprica said.“We can do that once they’re free,” I said, a tiny smidge ruder than I wanted to. “Please, let’s just... get everyone out.” Out, fed, cleaned up a little, and flying back home as soon as we could manage it.Even if I had to carry them all.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Five — Prisoner Swap
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Five — Prisoner Swap Calamity and one of Caprica’s guards were told to keep an eye on the pirates. The pirates weren’t fond of that, but those who complained the loudest were also those not nursing split lips, brown eyes or nasty arrow-wounds, so they were usually told to shush up by their friend, only none of the pirates used any kind language.It seemed like one of the requirements to be on this particular crew was having a foul mouth.I was too busy to chastise anyone though.Awen ran to the kitchen and rooted around for stuff to feed people with. The easiest solution, as it turned out, was simple bread. The cooks had obviously prepared a batch already, and there were some harder loaves that I imagined came from the day before. Some soup was bubbling away within a big cauldron and it smelled really nice too.We gathered all of the bread into a few stacks, and Awen started to ladle soup into some bowls as well. Then we brought what we could into the room with the cells.“Okay,” I said as I inspected the room. More of the prisoners, the hostages, were standing. “We’re going to get everyone out of here. Please, please be nice to each other. We have enough food for everyone. If you’re hurt, go to... uh...” I turned to the remaining royal guardsman.“Major Icearm,” he said.“Go to Major Icearm here, and he’ll look you over. He knows some healing magic,” I said. “I’m going to use some magic on you too, okay? Just to get you all cleaned up. And you can gather in the main room and eat and try to rebuild your strength.”Amaryllis and Caprica helped the hostages moved out, first only one or two of the braver ones, then a trickle as they saw that we were handing out food and my Cleaning magic, which I was pushing out at a steady stream that made the air sparkly-clean, wasn’t hurting anyone.I calmed a bit as my cleaning magic washed over them and the gunk evaporated from their feathers and clothing. Even those with wounds looked a little better after I had purified their bandages and cleaned out any infection.But by their sunken eyes and hollow looks, I knew it would take more than a little cleaning and some bread for them to feel any peace."Who are you?" one of them asked.I startled. That was the first word I'd heard out of any of them, so far.He was a younger blue-feathered harpy, maybe Amaryllis’ own age. He was wearing half of what looked like a uniform of some sort, black pants with a stripe running down the side and a white, sweat-stained button-up shirt.“I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch, and these are my friends,” I said. “We’re, uh, from the Exploration Guild, but we spend a lot of time trying to make the world a nicer place. And sometimes that means fighting pirates.”“The good captain here employed us to assist,” Caprica said. “The sylph you see are mercenaries, and nothing but mercenaries.”I nodded, because what else was I supposed to do, disagree? We hardly needed to confuse the ex-hostages more. “Let’s get you all patched up,” I said. We have some airships coming in soon, so we’ll be able to evacuate everyone.”“What if they don’t arrive?” someone muttered.“What about the pirates?”“How do we know you’re telling the truth?”There was a snap-pop, and everyone flinched except for Amaryllis, who had a talon raised. “World-damn it. We’re here to rescue you, not play hatchery games. You’re all harpy, aren’t you? Now act like the proud birds you are and grow a little spine.”“Amaryllis, don’t be too mean,” I said. “They’ve been through a lot.”Still, her little admonition worked to calm everyone down. We hurried to give everyone enough to eat, and a few of the ex-hostages moved over to Major Icearm who checked them out with a glowing hand that I imagined meant he was using some sort of healing magic.Healing magic was supposed to be one of the things the sylph were really good at, and it didn’t surprise me that someone in the royal guard knew a bit. It seemed like a useful skill for a bodyguard to have.Once everyone was out of a cell-a few needed help to stand, and those were the ones that Major Icearm fussed over the most, he even had to dip into his packs for some medicine and potions for some, though it looked like he was rationing what he had-we left the room with the cells.The main space of the first floor was pretty clearly divided in half. The pirates-turned-prisoners were on one side, the freed harpy on the other. There was a lot of glaring across the invisible line between the two sides.“Major, are we going to have complications?” Caprica asked.“Possibly,” the guard said “"Many of the captives are injured. Some seem to have been wounded back when they were captured — of course all the pirates did was slap on some bandages and throw them in a cell. About half of the wounds were infected, but the good captain's cleaning helped in that regard." He nodded at me. "The worst is that one of them's lost his right arm from the bicep down ... he doesn't seem fully aware, either." He grimaced, then schooled his face back to professionalism. "Others were beaten more recently. They all have signs of mana depletion. Chronic mana depletion, though I imagine it can’t have lasted more than a few days at most. Lots of bedsores and stiff muscles and the usual side-effects you’d expect to see in people allowed only limited movements.”“They’re all wearing bracelets around their ankles,” Amaryllis said.I blinked, then turned to look at one of the nearest prisoners. Most were barefoot, which wasn’t unusual with harpy. Even Amaryllis only wore a sort of wrap around the base of her talons. They also, as she said, all had bracelets around their ankles.“Um, sorry, you, sir, can you come here please?” I asked one of the harpy. The same harpy who’d spoken up earlier.This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.He glanced around, uncertain, but came over all the same. “Can I help?” he asked.I nodded. “What’s that around your ankle?”“Oh,” he said. He raised his leg up, standing on the other with relative ease. “They put these on all of us when we arrived. They weren’t gentle about it.”The anklet was made of thick, rusty iron, with a rivet punched through an eyelet holding it locked in place.Amaryllis came closer and squinted at the device. “It’s a magic item. It’s casting something.”“It’s casting light,” he said. “We have a few people that know magic well enough, they checked them out. It’s casting a light spell, but the weave is really poor.”“A poorly cast spell, and I imagine the device is designed to cast on touching someone,” Amaryllis said. “Clever, I suppose.”“So it uses up all of someone’s mana?” I asked.Amaryllis shrugged. “That kind of device can’t force your mana out of you. Here, touch it.”I reached down and touched it after the harpy whose leg it was on gave me a nod. The ring instantly started to glow a bit, tiny motes of light flickering off of it. It wasn’t even as bright as a candle. I frowned, and with a smidge of concentration was able to stop it from glowing without removing my hand. “Um, this doesn’t seem effective.”“Can you hold your mana back while sleeping?” Amaryllis asked me.I had no idea. “I’ve never tried casting stuff while I sleep,” I said.“Exactly. I imagine it mostly drains mana while the hostages aren’t paying attention, or while they’re asleep.”The harpy boy nodded. “That’s right. We wake up drained. You can rebuild your stores during the day, but ... it's hard to focus on retaining your mana when you're hungry, and they only fed us every other day.”“The room with the cells was probably drained the entire time,” Amaryllis said. “Or, lightly drained. The space would be filled with raw mana otherwise.”“You know your magic, ma’am,” he said. “I’m Theodore Bluem, I was aboard the Remiges Crown. Did you come to find us?”“We did,” Amaryllis said. “I’m Amaryllis Albatross, I was part of a separate delegation to Sylphfree. When yours never arrived, we imagined something terrible happened, so we came to investigate.”“What did happen?” I asked.Theodore glared at nothing in particular. “Betrayal happened. We ended up having to go further north than intended. It was one of the ships, it kept drifting off course, and it signalled that something was wrong. Nothing big, just a stuck rudder. Combined with that storm and... it doesn’t matter. The pirates came out of nowhere but we could have taken them, except one of our ships turned on us.”“What!” I gasped. That was terrible.“It makes sense,” Amaryllis said as she stroked her chin. “The pirates couldn’t have taken on as many ships as they did with the numbers they had, not without someone getting away.”“Wait, what happened to the ship that betrayed the others?” I asked.Theodore shrugged. “I don’t know. But Baron Vonowl came down to gloat a few times. He’s staying somewhere above, I think.”I turned to Amaryllis, and I think she caught my question before I even asked it. “I don’t recognize the name. If he’s actually a baron, then he’s some low-ranked, unimportant one. Speaking of which... are any of the nobles with the captives here?”Theodore shook his head. “They were taken away early on. We’re the hostages that aren’t worth much. I... don’t know what they were planning to do with us.”“We should inform Bastion to keep an eye out,” Caprica said. “In the meantime, we should get all of these people upstairs and away from the pirates down here.”“What are we going to do with the pirates?” I asked.Caprica narrowed her eyes, then sighed. “Legally, we can’t do anything. This isn’t our land, and while there’s some vague justification for coming in and freeing the hostages, we don’t have any legal basis for carrying out proper justice.”“So no beheading the lot of them?” Amaryllis asked.I slapped a hand over my mouth.“No, nothing of the sort. I say we truss them up and toss them into the cages the captives were in,” Caprica said.I liked that idea a lot more.We started moving the pirates over in little groups so that we could manage them if they tried anything. They weren’t happy about being shoved behind bars, but when the alternative was being separated from their heads... they grudgingly listened to what we said.Once they were all divested of weapons, tied up, and locked away, we got the captives sorted. Some of them insisted on grabbing some of the pirate’s old weapons, and I didn’t have the heart to stop them. If it made them feel better, then that was for the best. I could understand wanting to arm up after being in a cage for so long. They also ate through all of the things in the kitchen which were easy to eat and didn’t require any cooking. Major Icearm insisted that they eat slowly and carefully, but a few went ahead and stuffed themselves only to be sick all over again.I wouldn’t say they were in good shape for a fight, but it was better than nothing. The fact that most of them were experienced airship crewbirds meant that maybe they could help us once the ships arrived.We climbed back up to the second floor where one of the squads was waiting for us. Their medic immediately jumped to help the harpies.“Where’s Paladin Bastion?” Caprica asked one of the nearby scouts.“Above, ma’am,” he said. “Seventh floor.”Good,” Caprica said. She turned to the squad leader. “Watch things here. Keep the harpies safe until rescue arrives. We’re heading up.”“We’re going to go poke at things upstairs?” I asked.“Ah, isn’t that what we always do?” Awen asked.Calamity grinned next to her. “Man, I joined the right group of misfits, didn’t I?”
* * *
Spookimon Boo-n!
Spookimon Boo-n! “Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. She’d become quite used to Broccoli over the last few months. The strange human-turned-bun girl was... well, strange. Amaryllis had never thought of herself as someone who needed help and support, and least of all something as seemingly useless as friendship. But then Broccoli came and decided that they were friends and honestly, Amaryllis was a little bit afraid that she couldn’t live without it.“Yes?” Broccoli replied. She was smiling, which wasn’t unusual. In fact, her not smiling would be a bigger concern.“What are you wearing?” Amaryllis asked. It was, in her opinion, a very fair question. Broccoli was wearing her old metal hat, the one with the tortoiseshell pattern. She was also wearing a large, bulbous shell on her back which was strapped to a beige one-piece.“It’s a turtle outfit!” Broccoli said.“You’re an idiot,” Amaryllis replied. This kind of thing was very... very Broccoli. She could almost feel the slight headache coming on. “Pray tell, why are you dressed like a turtle?”“Well, it’s fall, right?”“Yes,” Amaryllis said. She wasn’t seeing the link, but Broccoli’s explanations could take a while and be a little roundabout. When Amaryllis was feeling generous she attributed that to Broccoli being a Riftwalker, with all of the missing cultural information that came with it. When she wasn’t feeling so generous she attributed Broccoli’s explanations to Broccoli being Broccoli.“So, fall on Earth is when we have Halloween.”“I have no idea what that is,” Amaryllis said. Also, she always found it weird that Broccoli’s world was called Earth of all things. Dirt was a far more appropriate and respectable name.Broccoli clapped her hands together, looking sillier than usual in her costume. “It’s a big event we do once a year where we do spooky things and dress up in cute costumes.”“No,” Amaryllis said.Broccoli’s expression fell. “No? But I haven’t even asked anything.”“I know what you’re going to ask,” Amaryllis said.Her best friend’s eyes filled with unshed tears and Broccoli’s cheeks puffed out. Amaryllis could feel her heart constricting. The Adorable skill should, by all respects, be made illegal. “But I already made you a costume! I even made sure it wasn’t insulting to anyone.”Amaryllis pinched the bridge of her nose. “What is the costume?”“It’s a bat costume!” Broccoli cheered. She reached around her back (into the shell) and pulled out a pile of dark cloth which she placed onto Amaryllis’ desk.“You want me to dress as a bat?” Amaryllis asked.“A cute bat,” Broccoli said, as if that would help.“And then what? Leave the Beaver, wander around Goldenalden and be mocked by everyone we see?”“No! Why would anyone mock you for being cute?” Broccoli asked. She frowned. “Well, I suppose that could happen. Being cute isn’t any good.”Amaryllis bit back a retort that involved pointing out a lot of hypocrisy right there.“Anyway, I talked to Caprica, and she talked to some others, and we’ll be able to go trick-or-treating, and then we can visit a haunted house in the Purple district!”“And we is just us?” Amaryllis asked.Awen chose that moment to poke her head into the door, and Amaryllis found herself restraining a twitch at the sight of the blonde. She had menswear on, with a pillow stuffed under her shirt and a bristly fake moustache. “Hi,” she said.“Are... are you dressed as you uncle?” Amaryllis asked.“You can tell?” Awen asked.Broccoli laughed, then patted the bat costume. “I won’t force you to dress up and come have fun with us if you don’t want to,” she said.“But you spent all night making that costume for her,” Awen said.“No, no, a good friend doesn’t pressure a friend into doing stuff,” Broccoli said.Amaryllis glared, then she swiped the stupid bat costume off the desk. “Fine,” she said.Then she had to endure Broccoli hugging her for a while. It was nice.
* * *
“This is humiliating,” Amaryllis said.Awen agreed, but she didn’t say anything. Sure, walking around dressed as her uncle was a little strange, but then so was most of the things she did since she escaped from home, and while this was strange, it was also kind of fun.The first place they visited was the road on which the royal palace was. That meant that as Broccoli-who had no difficulty walking up to someone’s door and knocking, which was something Awen didn’t think she had the bravery to do yet-tapped on the noble’s doors, they opened up to reveal amused sylph nobles who handed out candies and sweet pastries.“I can’t believe so many people are participating in this,” Amaryllis said.“Why? It’s a great idea,” Broccoli said.All along the street, busy little sylph children with tiny buzzy wings (who couldn’t quite fly yet, but who made up for it by being very energetic) were flitting around on excited sugar highs. Only a few of them had costumes on, but nearly all had fists-full of candy.It was nice to see so many people out, and a lot of the parents Awen saw weren’t from the richest of families. So the entire event was an opportunity to have people of all sorts mix. She even saw a few humans and buns and catfolk out and about. They seemed amused at the sylph children running around with poorly made ears strapped to their heads.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.Most of the costumes though, were of soldiers and royal guardsmen and the like. It was easy to see what kind of thing the little sylph wanted to be when they grew up. Not many adventurers and mechanics, she noted disappointingly.“Oh! We should go to Caprica’s place next!” Broccoli said.“You’ve eaten nothing but sweets all evening, do you really need more?” Amaryllis asked.“Trick or treating is only half the fun,” Broccoli said. “There’s telling horror stories and visiting haunted houses too!”“Your people must be a lot braver than most if that’s what they do for fun,” Awen said. It would certainly explain Broccoli’s lack of fear.Broccoli laughed at that, but there was no sting to it, especially since she grabbed Awen for a quick hug. “I don’t think that’s how it works,” she said.They arrived at the palace to find a number of guards standing outside. The big gate was open though, and a few brave children were running in and to the palace’s front where the king and queen themselves were sitting out front, a table covered in candies next to them. The king was grinning ear-to-ear as he handed out candies to wide-eyed children and said hello to parents who didn’t seem to know how to act while the king himself gave their kids candy.Awen held back a giggle at the faces she saw. The sylph, she’d learned, were very big on appropriateness, and she imagined that the king handing out candy wasn’t that.On the other hand, if the king was doing it, then clearly it was okay. The conflict was fun to see.“Hi!” Broccoli said as their turn in line finally brought them to the front. She extended a bag (ie: an empty pillowcase with a pumpkin drawn on the side for some reason).The king laughed and dropped a fistful of candy in. “Hello, Captain. I didn’t expect to see you dressed up. I thought that was more for the children.”“I’m a child at heart and so is my tummy,” Broccoli said.Amaryllis huffed, and while Awen couldn’t understand Huffese like Broccoli could, she imagined that it was one of those huffs.“Oh, I’ll tell Caprica that you’re here. Apparently it’s tradition for the older children to visit a haunted house?” the king asked.“It is!” Broccoli agreed.“I don’t know if Caprica would consider herself one of the ‘older children’” the queen said. The older woman seemed amused, but she was still keeping an eye out to everyone around.The king gestured to one of the nearby guards, and they nodded, then darted off into the palace. After they said their goodbyes and went to stand on the side, they were joined by Caprica. Caprica who was dressed in ill-fitting Paladin gear.“Nice costume!” Broccoli said.“Thanks,” Caprica replied. “It’s my mom’s old uniform, without the tags and insignia, of course. It’s a bit... big for me, isn’t it?”“That’s okay,” Broccoli said. “Costumes don’t need to be perfect. I never had the nicest of costumes when I grew up, and I still loved dressing up every year. Fun is what you make of it, not what you can afford. Unless you can afford fun, in which case you should definitely buy some and share it with your friends.”Awen giggled at another bit of Broccoli’s wisdom.“So, the haunted house?” Caprica asked.“Yes!” Broccoli cheered.
* * *
Caprica didn’t expect this idea of Broccoli’s to take off the way it did. It had started with her relating the idea to her father who then... well, pulled some strings. She didn’t expect it to become something of a competition amongst the nobles, but here they were.The poor bakes and candymakers of Goldenalden were either having their best or worst couple of days ever. Not that they were ever truly in any dire straits. The sylph loved their sweets more than anyone else.So, that part of the event was fine. The costumes were... a little more strange, but costume parties had been held before, and this was similar, but aimed more for children. All in all, it was turning out quite well, and she could imagine it being even more popular next year.She wasn’t sure about this last part.The haunted house that they’d walked over once belonged to the Darknight family, but that noble house had fallen long ago. Mostly it fell to disease and disaster, but most who knew of the family’s history blamed their own carelessness for their demise.They left behind a small mansionette in a darker corner of the Purple District, with a tall gate around it. The building itself had gone decrepit with age and lack of maintenance.Who could be blamed for not caring for the place? It was, after all, haunted.“Wait,” Broccoli said as she stood on the walkway to the ancient mansion. “You mean this place had actual ghosts?”“Yes?” Caprica said.“What did you think people meant by 'haunted?’” Amaryllis asked. “It’s why I want to go back to the Beaver and get some proper equipment. Only an idiot would face a phantom dressed like this.” She raised her arms and wiggled her cloth bat-wings about.“It’s not my fault!” Broccoli said. “I forgot that ghosts were real!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Six — Employee Retention
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Six — Employee Retention We left the captives in the care of the squad who’d returned from securing the airships. I promoted Theodore, the harpy who spoke up, as very-temporary leader of the harpies.Mostly, the group needed their own spokesperson while we weren’t around, and I think the sylph soldiers liked it when things operated with clear and distinct ranks. Promoting one of the ex-hostages wasn’t very nice to the hostage in question, but Theodore seemed capable, and it would make it easier for everyone involved.Once that was set up and done, my friends and I started climbing up the tower.The first half-dozen floors we climbed weren’t so bad. Every floor had a pair of sylph guarding the entrance, and the third floor up from the ground was where Bastion was collecting all the pirates they captured. We’d have to tell him about the cells on the first floor, it would make it easier to keep everyone in the same spot.We eventually found Bastion and a very lightened squad near the twentieth-floor. “Princess,” he said.“It’s just Caprica, Bastion,” Caprica said. “How are things going up here?”“Well enough, but the need to garrison men every few levels means I've got fewer and fewer fighters in my assault group. I was right to be worried that we wouldn’t have as many troopers as needed to completely occupy this tower.”“We have a number of floors left, don’t we?” Caprica asked. “Our squad can assist you with those, if you want.”He nodded. “That would be welcome. How did things go on the first floor?”“Well enough,” Caprica repeated Bastion’s own words back at him with a cheeky grin. “We’ve freed a number of prisoners and captured a few pirates. There are cells below, which we stuffed the pirates in. We might consider doing the same with any you’ve captured up here.”“Good idea. Were you able to confirm the retrieval of every captive?”Caprica shook her head. “It seems as if the nobles and higher-ranking officers were kept elsewhere.”I bobbed my head in a nod. “We’re ready to help some more,” I said.Bastion frowned, then looked up the stairs beyond him. “I think we’ll create a cordon on this floor. We can’t afford to explore every room and also leave soldiers behind to guard them all as we’ve been doing. So, a change of tactics is in order.”“What’re ya thinking of?” Calamity asked.“We’ll leave a number of troops on this level, creating a bottleneck, then proceed upwards at a faster pace. We haven’t encountered too much resistance past the second and third floors. I suspect that the pirates didn’t have the numbers to fully utilise a tower of this size.”“Laid out, this tower has more room in it than most villages,” Amaryllis said.“Indeed. A number of the floors we crossed were simply empty. I think the pirates were mostly concentrated on the first half-dozen floors, with a contingent taking up the uppermost levels and perhaps using the levels with balconies as watch stations.”“Um,” Awen said. Everyone turned her way, and she straightened up at the sudden attention. “Maybe we should call the airships now? Ah, while we still can?”“That’s not a bad idea. We haven’t cleared the tower yet, but it will be some time before the airships arrive,” Amaryllis said.Caprica glanced up to Bastion who nodded, then she reached under the neck of her shirt and pulled out a small amulet. “Give me just a moment and I’ll send the communication’s officer there a missive.”While she got to work doing that, I leaned in towards Amaryllis. “Why doesn’t everyone have one of those? It’s like your bank ring, right?”“While that would be nice, each device like that requires an enchantment mage who has two or more classes that work in tandem, or several enchanters working very closely together. The materials that go into each ring are precious, and while a bank can afford to rent bank rings it only does so because no one else can compete to buy the frequency slots that the rings use. What Caprica has there probably has a limited range, costs ten times as much, and it’s probably something only high-ranking officers have access to. It’s also a glaring security risk,” Amaryllis explained.“How’s that?” I asked.“It’s a magical beacon designed to teleport small items. If it’s left open in such a way that anyone can send something along, then you risk having someone send something nefarious. Can you imagine something like that appearing under Caprica’s shirt?”I nodded along. So, not quite like a cell phone where the worst that could happen was some spam calls. “Isn’t that a risk for the military people too?”“It is, which means added security with every device, and you’ll want fewer of them on the market so that fewer mages can discover how they work and how to tamper with them.”We had to cut that conversation off as Bastion and Caprica started to climb the stairs again, with the remaining sylph following. We crept up the stairs to the next floor with a lot more caution than we’d shown so far. These floors weren’t cleared at all, so there was always the possibility that we’d be ambushed.At the next flight, Bastion raised his hand in a fist, then leaned closer to the door. “Three contacts,” he whispered. “One left, two right. I don’t suspect they know we’re coming. We break in on three.” He made a few gestures to some of the nearest sylph, then kicked the door open.Bastion and the sylph rushed into the room, and my friends and I came in next. By the time we’d stepped in, three pirates were on the ground, groaning as the sylph pinned their arms into the small of their backs and pressed their faces into the floor.“Wow,” I said. “That was fast.”“Better fast than caught out,” Bastion said as he scanned the rest of the floor. “You, you, and you. Bring these three down to the second floor. Report to the squad leaders for A and B, tell them that we’ll be rotating people out for here on, then send three replacements up. Ah, and report Squad D’s findings about the prison cells as well.”In short order, the three pirates were being lead out of the room and we poked around to find any more of them, but came up with nothing but some trash and a nice view out of the tower from one of the balconies. I hung over the edge, staring at the ground way, way below. It was impressive how high up we’d come already, but we were only a bit past the halfway mark.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.So we continued up the stairs. The next two floors were clear, the one after that had a single pirate within it, who seemed so confused by our arrival that he didn’t even fuss when a sylph tied his hands together.We continued on our way up, clearing the floors as we went until, suddenly, Bastion called us to a halt. “Two, coming down,” he said.Everyone tensed. A fight in the stairwell would be tricky, to put it lightly. There wasn’t much room to fight in, and the steps made the footing somewhat precarious.Calamity and Awen raised their weapons to cover the stairs. “I’ll take the one on the right,” Amaryllis muttered.Then two harpy came walking down around the bend of the staircase. They froze and stared.“Greetings,” Bastion said. “Please surrend-”Both of them spun around and started to run.The one on the right squawked as a bolt and an arrow punched him in the right leg and he went crashing down onto the steps with an anguished scream.“Oh, not their right,” Calamity muttered.Bastion took off after the other, wings buzzing and sword whispering out of its sheath. There was a crash above, a distressed caw, and the sounds of scuffling. I bounced after him. No way was I going to let one of my friends get hurt when I could help.Turns out, Bastion didn’t need it. He was pinning the harpy to the ground, an elbow on one shoulder, his hand on the other and his leg in an uncomfortable looking spot between the harpy’s legs. “Please stop squirming,” he said. “Captain Bunch, some assistance.”“Oh, yup,” I said as I jumped to it. Bastion had lengths of rope in his pack, all just long enough to tie someone’s wrists together. I grabbed the harpy’s one arm, then brought it to the small of his back while apologising profusely for any pain I might have been causing. I didn’t know that much about harpy anatomy when it came to shoulder mobility, and I didn’t want to pull a muscle or something.“Identify yourself,” Bastion demanded."I — what?" He sounded dazed.Bastion's voice sharpened. "What is your name?""I just work for the baron!""That sounds interesting," I said. "Did he send you down here?""Uh ... yes! I mean no! No, he didn't!""So, you came down here because you just felt like it?" I questioned."No! Not that either! I-let me go!"The harpy struggled, completely failing to dislodge Bastion despite actually being the larger of the two.Bastion lowered his voice to a tone I hadn't heard before: "Why. Were you. Descending. The. Stairs.""Um, I'm just checking on the food! He ordered it an hour ago, and it hasn't arrived!" The man nodded to himself. "When he finds out, he won't be happy!"Bastion raised an eyebrow, and I shrugged.Seeing as our captive was face down on the floor, he saw none of that. I turned my attention back to him."Really?" I asked. "What will he be unhappy about? The food being late? The fact that you got captured? The sylph army overrunning the tower?"The harpy went still. "All of that?"“Oh. Well, that’s really unfortunate for him. He’s going to have a lot to be upset about,” I said. “Can you tell us more about him, please?”“I, uh, don’t think that would be good for me.”“In what sense?” I asked.“I wanna keep my job,” he said.“You... do know that the baron will probably be arrested today, right? He can’t keep paying you if he’s in jail.”The harpy stared blankly at the wall for a moment. “But I have three weeks of backpay.”I patted him on the shoulder. “That’s rough. Come on, let’s get you on your feet. I bet we can figure out a much nicer job for you. What sort of stuff did you do for the baron?”“Me? Mostly just carried his complaints around. I’m very clean. Don’t have the skill for that, of course, but I can tidy up with the best of them, do laundry, everything you’d expect a manservant to do.”My new pal told me a few choice things about the baron as I led him down the stairs. The baron basically lived on the topmost floor of the tower, with the noble prisoners caged next to his quarters. He had a few guards, mostly harpy, but a couple of humans too, and he really didn’t like working with the pirates, but said he had no choice about it.The baron, from what I was hearing, wasn’t the friendliest guy around.“Thanks for sharing,” I said to the harpy as I handed him off. “Now, try to keep a positive attitude, and maybe make some friends while you’re in your cell. Being forced to spend time with people is a lot more fun when you turn those people into friends!”“Wait, what? I’m going to jail?” he asked as a pair of sylph took him by the arms. It looked like his pal had already been bandaged up and carried off as I walked him down.I felt a little bad for the guy as he was dragged down the stairs.“We need to pick up the pace,” Caprica said as I returned to the group.“Why’s that?” I asked.“The Royal Pride reported in. They had an altercation over the Trenten Flats with the three airships, but after damaging one during a boarding attempt and giving another a bloody nose, the pirates turned tail. One of their ships is limping behind, but the other two were in better shape.” Caprica waved a long strip of paper around, likely the one with the missive she got. “They’ll be back here within the hour.”“And the Beaver and the rest of our fleet?”“On their way,” Caprica said. “But it might take up to half an hour before they show up, and then they’ll have to land and start boarding the rescued hostages.”“Oh... I’m starting to see some issues with our timetable here,” I said. Hopefully, we’d manage to get everyone aboard safe and sound before the pirate lord returned. Something told me I didn’t want to have to fight him.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Upper Management
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Upper Management We rushed up the final few floors, following the directions I’d teased out of our harpy prisoner. Baron Vonowl was in for a rude awakening once we arrived.On reaching the floor where the baron was hidden, Bastion gestured everyone to silence and approached the door to lean up against it. He listened for a bit, then came down the steps to where we all gathered. “Large floor. It sounds like a mostly open space. I can hear maybe a dozen people in there.”“That’s a concerning number,” Caprica said.“We can probably take them, we have the element of surprise on our side,” Amaryllis said.“That might still be tricky though,” I said as I glanced back up. The door was the very last one at the very top. I was a little surprised that the tower didn’t have roof access. Or maybe it was elsewhere? In any case, that wasn’t our problem at the moment.Bastion shook his head. “We don’t have time to worry overly much about anything. Our timetable is short. I’d much rather we not get caught out by the returning pirates while loading the hostages back onto the ships, so we need to move quickly. I’ll take point, Caprica’s guards can assist me on the flanks, everyone else comes in after. If you’ve been holding anything back, now wouldn’t be an unreasonable time to use it.”Everyone shuffled in place, then Bastion launched himself up the steps, blowing the door with a boom, Caprica’s guards were right on his heels and the other soldiers rushed in right after.I didn’t wait long to follow.The first thing I heard as I stepped in were panicked yells and the sharp crack of steel on steel. The top floor was more of an open plan than most of the floors below. A good quarter of the space was used up by a set of large cages pressed up against one wall and half-covered by curtains. The rest of the space was one large living area.Harpy and human guards were rallying against Bastion and the royal guardsylph, maybe a dozen of them in all. They looked competent at a glance, but entirely unprepared for the sudden fight, and a pair of them were already groaning on the floor.I tightened my grip on Weedbane and moved to the side, taking my place in the impromptu line that was forming as we stretched out across the room.The guards we’d surprised were backing up towards a stairwell off to one side of the room-probably the roof access. Behind them was a harpy in a finely-made suit of purple and blue cloth. He was red in the face and was shouting some rather rude things at us while backing up.That had to be the baron!My attention was snapped back to the present as I eeped and ducked under a sword swing. One of the guards was right in front of me, an angry scowl in full display as he tried to chop me into little Broccoli Bunch bits.“Focus, Broccoli,” Amaryllis bit off. She reached out with her dagger-wand and filled the room with crackling lightning that speared out towards a trio of guards. One went down convulsing, but the other two raised their hands and the magic splashed off sort of shimmering shield of mana.These weren’t untrained pirates. They were a lot better at their job. But we’d still caught them with their metaphorical pants down. The guy I was fighting had a sword in one hand and a chair in the other, and unfortunately for him, he didn’t seem to have the same experience with chair-combat as I did.I caught the tip of Weedbane’s blade between the bars of the chair he was using as a shield, then twisted back, ripping it from his grip. I took a step back, then spun Weedbane around and flung the chair right back at the guard, dropping his sword in the process.Then I kicked the chair as hard as I could, ramming the legs into his tummy so that he fell back wheezing.Our foes were going down in quick succession, the surprise and the ferocity of our best fighters no match for them. Which is why I was surprised when the fighting suddenly came to a screeching halt as someone screamed.“Stop!”Everyone, minions and soldiers alike, froze up for a few seconds. Then the brigands ran backwards to the staircase pressed up against the wall. The harpy who could only be Baron Vonowl was halfway up the steps, a buckler held in both hands. He was huffing and puffing, and looking like he couldn’t decide if he was angry or scared.“Just who in the world are you?” he shouted.I glanced around, then met Caprica’s eyes. She gave me a sort of ‘you explain this one’ nod. “Hello!” I said. “My name’s Captain Broccoli Bunch, and my friends and I are here to rescue the people you kidnapped.”“What?” he asked.“... Uh. Which part did you not understand?” I asked.“Do you have any idea who you’re messing with?” the baron asked.Calamity snorted. “An idiot with delusions of grandeur?”“I’m pretty sure you’re Baron Vonowl?” I asked. “In any case, you’re the guy being protected by all of these guards while, uh.” I glanced over to the cages where I could see a dozen or so harpy’s standing up. They were in better shape than the prisoners down below had been, dressed in finery and very nice outfits, though their clothes had ended up a little tattered from being imprisoned. “While these nice people over here are in cages, which kind of paints you in a bad light.”“A bad light? Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” He swept a wing towards the cages. “Those fools who were born into underserved power wanted to bumble their way into delaying an inevitable war instead of pressing our great nation’s advantage!”I blinked. “Uh. Yeah, no, we already negotiated peace, more or less. I don’t think anyone actually wants that war to happen.”The baron seethed. “Then you’re as great a fool as any of them! Our saviour, Rainnewt understood. He acknowledged our inherent value!”This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.“Okay, I think that’s enough,” Bastion said, interrupting what sounded like the beginning of a proper villainous monologue. “Lay down your arms and surrender, and we will be lenient. There’s no need to die for someone like him.”A few of the baron’s guards looked to each other, then back at us. At the moment we were pretty evenly matched in terms of numbers. Then a couple of sylph came into the room from the stairs and rushed to join us.I could almost hear what they were thinking. There might only be even numbers here and now, but that would change soon.The first sword clattered to the floor, then another.The baron screamed, then started up the stairs. “Cowards!” he shouted.Calamity’s bow twanged, but the baron ducked behind the shield he held and Calamity’s arrow thunked into it. Spells started to fly towards him, but those of his guard who decided not to surrender rused forwards and magical shields shimmered and popped as they intercepted the magic that should have hit the baron.Before any of us could catch up, Vonowl threw open a door at the top of the stairs and disappeared out of sight.The guards that decided not to surrender were punished for that choice as Bastion and the others met them with a sudden charge. “Captain, go after the baron,” Bastion shouted.“Got it!” I replied. I crouched for just a moment, then shot up and over the fighting to land on the staircase. I sprinted up the remaining steps and onto the roof of the tower, vaguely aware that a few others were running after me.The tower’s roof was a flat space, with crenelations along the edges and a very slight incline that was probably there make water run to the edge. A strong wind blew across the rooftop, and at a glance, I could see the open expanse of cloudy sky and the great forest that surrounded the tower.There was also, I noticed immediately, an airship parked on the rooftop.It was the same class as the Redeemed, small and light and with a soft balloon that was inflating itself even as I watched. The balloon was connected to a set of tanks that looked like they were recent additions to the rooftop.The baron was onboard already along with two other harpies that hadn’t been below and who were hurriedly preparing the ship for launch.“Hey! Wait!” I shouted before taking off towards the ship.“I will do no such thing!” the baron said. “Look, Commander Megumi returns, and with them the forces that will crush your pitiful rebellion!”I paused, shoes scraping on the rooftop as I turned to see that he was right. Off in the near distance were two airships, both unfamiliar and both heading towards us.In the other direction, over the forest and much, much closer, was the Beaver Cleaver and the rest of our little fleet.I had to warn them, the fleet was flying low over the forest, using the mountainous rise around the tower as cover, but that also probably meant that they couldn’t see the pirate ships returning to the tower.But no, baron first.I ran across the rooftop, and the baron saw me coming. “Hurry up!” he shouted before he grabbed a knife from within his doublet and slashed at one of the cords that was serving as an anchor. The ship tilted to the side and the harpy with the baron squawked.One of them, thinking quick, pulled on a lever and the other cords snapped off, leaving the ship mostly free. It started to rise even though its balloon still seemed a little under-inflated. Then the engine started up and the tubes filling the bag popped out of their holes.The entire ship lurched forwards and over the side of the tower. Somehow, it was still rising despite the very early departure.I reached the edge of the tower, planted a foot on one of the crenulations, and jumped.I didn’t exactly have a plan, but I figured it was as good a time as any to wing it.The baron seemed quite proud of himself for his escape, at least until I crashed onto the side of his ship. Weedbane hooked onto the ship’s railing and my feet thumped into the hull, absorbing some of the impact of my hit.I glanced down for just a second, then refocused on hanging on. There was a long, long drop below.Then the baron’s face appeared above me. “You are a fool to even try to fight us, Captain. History will remember you only as an inconvenience.”“Uh, aren’t you the bad guy?” I asked.“There is no evil in setting the world aright! If it is necessary to use force to do so, then force must be used!” he declared.I was about to point out that that sounded pretty textbook evil when the baron planted a taloned foot on my scythe and pushed. I scrambled up, grabbing the edge and planted a foot on the ship’s hull so that I could climb onto the deck.Vonowl didn’t stop his monologue and I was too busy to interrupt. “You’re about to learn why the harpy are superior, though it won’t be a lesson that’ll stick for more than a few long seconds, I’m afraid.”I hissed as his talons came racing down for my hand and I let go of the ship. I could reposition, but I couldn’t regrow fingers. Then Vonowl swept down and, with a grunt, grabbed Weedbane by the sides of its blade and shoved it back and off the side of the ship.I had a moment to feel everything in my tummy lurch before the ship started to fall upwards and away from me.I might have screamed a little.Then someone rammed into me from the side and my vision was filled with blonde hair and buzzing fairy wings. “You’re heavy!” Caprica complained into my ear.Oh, right, I had friends who could fly.I took a moment to breathe in and try to stifle my adrenaline, then I shrunk myself to make it easier for Caprica to sylphhandle me back onto the top of the tower where I was greeted by Amaryllis who smacked me upside the head.I probably deserved that.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Eight — The Enemy Always Gets a Vote
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Eight — The Enemy Always Gets a Vote Amaryllis looked really cross with me. “Broccoli. Which one of us has wings?”“Um, you?” I said.Then she smacked me atop the head with her feathers. “That’s right,” she said between smacks. “You could have died! Jumping to your death like that like a headless moron. Stupid bun! Stupid Broccoli!”“Hey, don’t smack the ears, they’re sensitive!” I complained.“I ought to test the sensitivity of your behind with a paddle if it means you won’t try something like that again,” she said. She sounded really angry. Then I noticed how wet her eyes looked, and I instantly felt terrible.“I’m sorry,” I said. I moved in close and gave her a hug. “I thought... well, I didn’t.”She huffed. “Yes, not thinking is a habit of yours,” she grumbled.“I probably would have been fine! I can make myself small, so I’d weight less and wouldn’t smack the ground as hard, and my ears can act as parachutes, and I’m good at jumping!” I prattled, but it didn’t seem to be winning Amaryllis over much.“This is very sweet and nyall, but can nya two pay a bit more attention to what’s goin’ on?” Calamity asked.I glanced up while still clinging to Amaryllis, after all my heart was still beating fast from the spook I got while nearly falling and I needed the comfort. Calamity was right though. The Beaver Cleaver and the rest of the fleet was coming around and so were the pirates.“We don’t have much time,” Awen said. “We need to tell the fleet what to do.”“Either turn around or face the pirates,” Caprica said. “I don’t imagine we can fight them while loading on the hostages. That would be the height of irresponsibility.”“What about the baron?” I asked. I finally pulled out of the hug with Amaryllis and half-turned to see where the baron’s little ship had gone.It wasn’t too far off yet. I could still hear the rumble of its engines as it puttered along. The crew harpy aboard the ship seemed busy inflating the balloon from the reserves they carried onboard. It looked like they’d just barely managed to remain buoyant in the air.“They’re heading west,” Awen said. “Towards the Snowlands?”“Technically we’re in the Snowlands already, even if all they do is claim this space without inhabiting it,” Caprica said. “But yes, the nearest city to the west of here would be Sissifin. Or maybe the pirates have a second base of operations, or he’s aiming for somewhere entirely different. I don't think we have time to speculate.”She was right, the pirate’s crew were coming, and they’d know something was up. We wouldn’t be fighting pirates caught with their pants down and split apart across a dozen rooms where we could take them out in clumps, but a properly prepared group expecting a fight. And I bet that all the best fighters were on board those ships. You didn’t leave your best back at the base when you were going out to pirate something. Or so I assumed.I looked to my friends. Bastion made it up onto the roof and glanced around, he was soon followed by Caprica’s guards who ran up to stand near her. My friends were all here and no one was proposing anything.I think it was mostly because we were all a bit tired. The last bit had been... well, it was all a lot.“I have a plan,” I said. The idea was still somewhat fresh, but it was there. And we needed to do something. Speaking up got everyone’s attention. “Caprica, call off the fleet, tell them to pull back and wait. If they do need to fight, then it’ll be best if they’re in the air already. Bastion, we need to move the prisoners up to here. Or the floor right below. We’ll evacuate from the rooftop. Prepare some of the slyph to take over the weapons of the ships below too. If the pirates decide to fly over the tower to attack the fleet, then we’ll hit them from below. If they come to land... then we let them.”“And if they do land?” Caprica asked.“Then they’ll have to climb all the way up the tower to reach us,” I said.“Through a narrow, easily defendable stairwell,” Amaryllis said. “Three or four sylph soldiers working in tandem could hold the stairs for a week.”“They’ll be able to free the pirates we imprisoned,” Calamity pointed out.I shrugged. “That’ll take a while. We can’t exactly move the prisoners with us. Besides, if we leave with all the hostages and sabotage their ships, then it’s an absolute victory for us, isn’t it?”“I’ll send the message right away.”“They’ll see the baron’s ship,” Awen pointed out with a gesture in the baron’s direction.I chewed on my lip, then shrugged. “Okay. It’s a loose end, but I never said my plan was perfect.”“It’s good enough, I think,” Amaryllis said. “Let’s start moving people up. The hostages below will have had a few minutes to relax and get their legs under them for the climb.”“We shouldn’t rush them, they’ve been in cages for a while,” I said. “But, uh, maybe hint that they should put as much effort into moving as they can.”Bastion clapped his hands. “Alright, you heard the captain. Clear the roof, we don’t need them seeing us up here and figuring things out. Someone free the hostages on the level below us and push the baron’s guards in their cages. Captain Broccoli, you’re in charge up here for now. Once the ships arrive, start the loading process. Princess, I’m heading back down to direct things from there.”And with that, Bastion jogged to the edge of the roof and took the quick way to the ground floor. I almost gasped before remembering that he could fly.Swallowing, I ran back inside and into the baron’s lavish quarters, my friends bunching up behind me.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.Some of the sylph had already started freeing the hostages, and I noticed that they were complaining quite loudly already. That was something I could work with.“Amaryllis, can you stay up here and help me with the nobles? Awen, Calamity, um, would you mind bring the other hostages up from the bottom of the tower?”Awen nodded, and Calamity gave me a sloppy salute. “Sure thing, captain,” he said before moving off.I nodded to his back, then turned to the nobles. “Okay everyone!” I said loud enough that my voice rang out above their grumbles and calmed them down for a moment. “My name’s Captain Bunch, and I’m one of those responsible here. I need to talk to you all, so please listen for just a moment.”“A mere captain?” one of the harpy asked.A snapping spark flickered next to Amaryllis, like a whip-crack, and the nobles flinched.“Thanks,” I muttered, then raised my voice again. “In a moment you’re all going to be freed. We have ships coming in, but there are a lot of pirates returning to the tower. We’re going to evacuate everyone from above. So, please stand off to the side over there where you can, uh, relax out of the way. I’m sure the baron had some food up here, and we’ll share that between everyone while the other hostages are brought up.”“Other hostages?” a harpy asked.I nodded. “The crews of your ships, and all the others who the pirates captured. We’re not leaving anyone behind, okay?”The last of the hostage’s cages was opened while I finished up my speech, so Amaryllis and I directed the nobles towards the far end of the baron’s quarters. Someone had demolished a few walls, leaving only pillars behind, but some walls were left intact. It turned the upper floor into a space with lots of wide open nooks where plush sofas were waiting.“That’s mine!” One noble harpy said before she flounced over to a large seat and flopped down into it.“Uh, it is?” I asked.She sniffed, a very Amaryllis-like expression. “That... rotten-yolked good-for-nothing baron Vonowl made a point of parading around all of the necessities we brought with us.”“Mhm!” another agreed. “Did you think he commissioned that fine suit he was wearing himself? Of course not! The fatherless curr was merely lucky that our sizes were close. Though, perhaps they were closer before I went so long without food.”“We’ll work on the food thing,” I promised. I just wanted to wait for all of the baron’s guards to be tossed into cages before we started to snoop around.Once the nobles were settled out of the way, I left Amaryllis to babysit them while I searched for some food. Unfortunately, I was waylaid by a sylph I recognized as one of the scouts while looking. “Ma’am,” he said with a quick salute. “We have issues.”“Issues, plural?” I asked.He nodded. “We were seen, we suspect.”I gasped. “Oh no. Are the pirates heading towards it?”He shook his head. “They are moving lower. We suspect they’re planning on connecting to the tower midway up, onto some of the balconies on the middle floors.”I blinked. “They can do that?” I asked. “Wait, how do we know that’s what they’re planning?”“Speculation, based on the height they’re flying at, ma’am,” the scout said.It would be a pretty clever manoeuvre. “Where’s Caprica?” I asked.“The princess is still here,” the scout said. He leaned to the side and pointed over to the other end of the room where Caprica was pacing.“Thanks,” I said.“Any orders, ma’am?” the scout asked before I could go.I considered what to say. It was weird to have people looking to me for orders. “Prepare for a fight,” I said. “This is going to get complicated, I think.”The scout saluted, then darted off without making more than a whisper. I didn’t have time to marvel at how cool the sylph scouts were though, not when things were about to get rather hairy in a not-fun sort of way.“Caprica,” I said. “What do we do?”“First, we don’t panic,” she said. She was next to a thin slit of a window, the curtain covering it tossed aside so that we could see out. I noticed the Beaver Cleaver and one of the sylph frigates flying our way. “We’ll have several minutes between the arrival of our fleet and the pirates, even if they’re kicking things into high gear.”“Will that be enough to evacuate everyone?” I asked. None of the hostages below had arrived yet. They weren’t in great shape, and there were lots of steps. “We’re not going to have a choice, we’ll have to fight.”Caprica didn’t look too pleased with the idea, but she turned to one of her guards anyway. “Contact Bastion. Have every archer and range-specialised mage come up here. We’ll launch what attacks we can from the rooftop.”“Would that work?” I asked.“Against an entire airship? It would be a miracle if even one arrow hit someone past the gasbag, but there’s a chance, and the pirates won’t enjoy having arrows and spells shooting past their heads,” Caprica said. “It’s the best we can do from here. The fleet will have to take care of the rest.”I stepped past her and looked out the window. Two of the pirate ships were relatively close. Both were larger than any of the ships we had in our little fleet, and they were probably better-armed too. We might have had the numbers on our side, but that advantage wasn’t great when we needed every ship we had.The third pirate ship was lagging way behind, so it wasn’t a worry just yet.I squinted. The two ships that were closer weren’t flying together, I noticed.In fact, one of them was racing ahead of the other.Almost as if it was coming straight for us.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Nine — The Great Escape
Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Nine — The Great Escape We all watched as the pirate ship drew closer and closer without ever slowing down. It was higher than the top of the tower, so we couldn’t see the pirates aboard it, but I imagined a raging, raving group of very angry pirates eager to drop down onto us.A big part of our plan relied on the pirates slowing down to approach their base at a reasonable speed, but it looked as if the captain of at least one of those ships had no intention of slowing down.I wanted to stand and watch, but there was so much to do. I found myself helping some of the hostages from the first floor up the stairs. I could carry someone light, and a lot of harpies were lighter than I was, so I bounced up the steps while hugging the weakest of them close.Every time I reached the top floor, winded and a bit woozy from the climb, I took a minute to see how things were going. After three trips up-each one shorter, since the entire group was slowly making its way up the tower and every time I went down they were a few floors higher-I found Caprica writing furiously on a scrap of paper atop a desk that Baron Vonowl had probably stolen.“How are things going?” I asked.“We have a minute before everything starts going in a very complicated direction. There’s no hiding the fleet now. I’ve set the two frigates on an intercept course. The Lunch Box, Featherfall and Beaver Cleaver will all wait a moment before approaching the rooftop. We’ll be cutting all of this very close, Broccoli.”I patted her on the back. “We’ll do our best,” I said. That was all we could do. And I didn’t want to see Caprica stressed out like this. It wasn’t good for her health, and besides, with the growing number of people in the room her tension might get to the others.‘The Beaver is slated to be the last to come and load people on,” Caprica said. “That’ll put it in a somewhat precarious position. The second pirate ship has slowed down, I don’t know why.”I shrugged. There could be a heap of reasons. Maybe its captain was more cautious, maybe they wanted to save on fuel, maybe they had some sort of clever plan. Worrying about it wouldn’t help, not when there was so little we could do.“It’s here!” someone screamed.I stood up, then ran to one of the windows.The pirate ship was, in fact, at the tower. It was a long, sleek thing. Maybe a Snowlander ship, but if it was, then it was an older model than any I’d seen so far. Still, it was a big, intimidating ship, with a large turreted balistea platform on either side of its hull and thin platting covering the top half of its balloon and its sides. It was, without a doubt, a ship designed for fighting.It was also dropping out of the sky at a rather disturbing speed.“What?” I asked no one in particular.Then the airship fired at the tower. I gasped, but the tower was huge and strong, there was no way a few ballista bolts would really damage it.The ballista bolts slammed into the stonework, latching themselves in place like grappling hooks, and now I saw that each bolt had a line leading back to the ship itself. The ship dropped past my vision, close enough that I spied men sprinting up and down the deck, belting on swords and shouting orders at one another.Then the lines went taut.Stonework around the window shuddered as the ship lurched through the air, swinging violently toward the tower like a ball on a tetherball pole. Men reached out with poles to try to lessen the impact, and screams and curses echoed up as the ship collided with the tower. The balloon wobbled like a waterbed, some of the armor plating coming loose and plummeting to the ground below.I stared in confusion as the pirates brought their ship under control. Why? Why risk so much by coming in at full steam, even going so far as to damage their own ship to stop in time? Compared to the other pirate ship approaching a t a more practical rate, they really only managed to save perhaps fifteen minutes.Now it was a sitting duck for the two sylph frigates rushing over.So why ...?I put that out of my mind as the first pirate rappelled along the line toward the tower, leaping off toward the balconies below.“We’re being boarded!” I shouted. That got me a few confused looks, so I hastened to explain. “The pirates are landing on one of the balconies below! They’ll be running up here soon!”“I’ll contact Bastion, we need to secure the stairwell,” Caprica said.“I’ll go help!” I shouted before rushing to the stairs. A few of the sylph soldiers loitering around formed up behind me.Fortunately, we’d already brought the weakest of the hostaged back up. Those that were still climbing were in better shape, though they would be winded by the climb and still had a few floors to go. I barrelled down the stairs, and only stopped when I practically crashed into Awen. “What’s going on?” she asked.“Pirates!” I said.“Yes, and?” she asked.I shook my head. We were blocking the way and slowing people down, which was the opposite of what I wanted. “No, the pirates, they hooked onto the tower and are using ropes to land on a balcony. We need to move!”The hostages and soldiers behind them heard me, and the stairwell filled with murmurs.“Quick, quick, leave no bird or sylph behind,” I said. “I know it’s hard and I know you must be tired, but we need to move!”The hostages picked up the pace, and following behind them were a heap of sylph soldiers who all seemed eager to help. I pushed myself to the side, determined to wait until everyone else had gone past so that I could take up the rear and help any stranglers. That’s how I met Bastion who was near the rear himself.“Captain Bunch,” he said. “I received the princess’ message, but I imagine you might know more than I do.”I nodded. “The pirates hit the tower with harpoons. Then they used those to zipline onto one of the balconies. I think they’re only a few floors below us.”The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.Bastion glanced back over his shoulder.“Sir, should we put up some defences?” one of the soldiers asked.“No. Let’s keep moving. Get squad B to set up defences of the penultimate floor. We’ll stall them if they reach that far. Captain Bunch, do we still have roof-evac coming?”I nodded. “I think so, yeah. The frigates are attacking the pirate ship. It was still stuck to the side of the tower when I saw it last.”“An easy target then. What are they thinking?” he asked. “Unless... their priority is less about winning any battles in the air and more about getting revenge on those in the tower. Something’s bizarre about this.”“Yeah, but we can figure that out later, I think,” I said.We raced back up the steps, quickly catching up to the hostages who were really trying their best. Only a handful of them were in passable shape; the rest were still dealing with the aftereffects of mana depletion, malnourishment, beatings, sores, and sundry other injuries. The man who lost his wing was stumbling along with the help of the sylph medic.Still, we were making good speed as we continued to climb. We were almost at the very top when I heard roaring screams echoing up from below.I looked to Bastion, and he didn’t look pleased. “Go to Caprica, make sure she’s on the first ship to go,” he said.“I’ll try, but I don’t think she’s going to agree to do that,” I said.He smiled. “I know. But I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t at least try.”He spun around just before the landing onto the top floor and whipped his sword out. A few of the more experienced soldiers fanned out around him, effectively blocking off the entire stairwell.“Good luck, and... I want a good hug later, so don’t lose an arm or anything, okay?” I bolted up the last few steps and into a room filled with arguing.I paused, taking in the scene. A few harpy were talking in almost-shouts at Caprica and Amaryllis who both looked entirely unamused by everything.“What’s going on?” I asked.I don’t think anyone heard me over the shouting, so I filled my lungs up as best I could, placed my index and thumb in my mouth, then whistled as loud as I could.That had everyone shushing up for a moment. “What is happening?” I asked.“These fools want us to load up their furniture into the airship before we load up anyone. They’re ordering the other hostages to do as they say,” Caprica said.I looked to the nobles, then the hostages around the room. A few of those who’d come from all the way down on the first floor looked cowed. A lot more of them looked like they were ready to toss the nobles out of a window whether they fit through the arrowslit or not.“That’s a great idea,” I said. The nobles (though really, it looked like it was just one or two of them that were really making a fuss) straightened up. “Everyone, grab a chair or a table! The pirate ship is still below! If we throw things down we might damage them!”“Now, wait a moment!” a noble said.He was drowned out by the scrape of furniture as everyone with any strength left grabbed whatever was closest and surged towards the roof access.“Nice work,” Amaryllis said as she came closer.“I, ah, don’t know if a chair will do too much to an armoured airship,” Awen said. “Unless it hits the prop, or some of the wing joints, I guess.”“It’ll distract them, at least,” I said. “Have the ships arrived already?”“Just one,” Amaryllis said. “The Featherfall is connected on the side opposite the pirate’s ship. We don’t want to give them easy line of sight on us.”“And the sylph frigates?” I asked.“Did a pass already, traded a few bolts with the pirates. They’re flying to bleed off speed. I think they intend to park themselves above the ship and fire down at it.”The room cleared of easy-to-grab furniture surprisingly quickly, a few of the rescued harpy worked together to grab end tables and such, while others just grabbed a cushion or two or maybe a tray that had been left behind.The sylph didn’t grab anything themselves, but I suspect they were very much amused by the hostage’s enthusiasm. Or maybe it was the way the nobles spluttered and protested without anyone actually paying them any heed.“Once everyone’s on the roof, we need help loading them onto the Featherfall,” Caprica said next to the stairs.“Oh, right, Bastion said that you should go on the first ship.”She just barked a very unprincesslike laugh. “No. Squad C, get onboard the ship as well. Guard the harpy.”“That’s a lot of people onboard one vessel,” Amaryllis said.“We can rebalance things later,” Caprica shot back.Everyone filed out of the room and onto the roof, myself included. While the room felt claustrophobic, the roof felt... something else. I didn’t know what word to use to describe the strange feeling of there being too many people standing next to an edge with too big of a drop.The hostages had found a couple of stronger harpy to do the furniture tossing, and they seemed to be enjoying it immensely, though I did wish they’d hurry up.The Featherfall sat heavy next to the lip of the tower, with a long gangplank extended out onto the tower itself. I don’t think the plank would have passed even the most rudimentary of safety standards, but it worked to get people onboard, even if it meant they were crossing in single-file.Behind the Featherfall was the Lunchbox which was working to counter a bit of a crosswind.Everything was going... okay, actually. I tapped my foot with nervous energy. Half the hostages were loaded. The other half were getting there, and Squad C had simply opted to fly themselves onto the airship to help those who’d already crossed.Yup, things were going well. Now we just needed to wait for all the pirates to hit our defensive line, for the other pirate ships to descend upon us, and for a few surprises to pop out of nowhere to mess things up for us.Maybe being a captain was a bit more stressful than I’d expected it to be.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty — Pirate Property
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty — Pirate Property The moment the Featherfall was at capacity, we drew the gangplank back and the ship’s crew, along with Squad C who were aboard, pulled the ship away from the tower and started to gain altitude.Everyone on the roof had to hunker down a bit as the ship turned and its propeller wash blasted across the rooftop. The captain wasn’t playing around, and for good reason. The two pirate ships that had been lagging behind were closer now, only a kilometre or so away. Technically within the longest range a ballista could realistically be expected to hit a target if given a dozen shots or so.“The Featherfall will be heading back over the forest and around,” Caprica shouted. “We don’t know if we’re going to have time to load up the Lunchbox.”I winced. We still had about a quarter of the hostages left on the roof, not to mention most of our sylph soldiers.“Then what do we do?” I asked.Just then, there was a huge explosion from off to my side and I flinched back, arm rising to protect me from... nothing. The explosion wasn’t on our level.Someone cheered, and I jogged to the edge of the roof and looked down.The big pirate ship that had been tethered to the tower was going down. Its rearmost section with the engine and all was pouring smoke and flames, and I blinked as I noticed an entire desk wedged halfway into the topmost part of its balloon, through the tin armour plating covering it.That wasn’t the only hole marking the top, though it looked as if most of the furniture we’d thrown down hadn’t done much more than dent the plating. I bet most of it just missed outright.The two sylph frigates rumbled past the tower, both starting to gain altitude while they swung around towards the incoming ships.“Okay,” Caprica said. “We’re bringing in the Lunchbox after all.” She turned to a nearby sylph who quickly raised some semaphore flags and started to guide the other cargo ship in.The Beaver Cleaver meanwhile, moved up as well, stationing itself between the tower and the incoming pirates.Things were... going alright. The ships we had were in decent shape all around. The pirate ships weren’t. One of them had limped all the way over here, even.We had the numbers advantage, and for the moment, the pirates would have to fly to us. That was great. What wasn't so great was that the remaining pirate vessels outweighed and outgunned our frigates. They were coming right at us because they knew they would probably win.The evacuation needed to pick up the pace so we could disengage and flee.I ran to help as the Lunchbox came close enough to toss out ropes. As a group, we grabbed hold of them and pulled, bringing the ship in close enough that the gangplank could be extended out to the lip of the roof.“Move!” a soldier shouted to the hostages.The harpy hostages, who were mostly those in better shape, ran across the gangplank with very little heed to the fall. A line of sorts still formed though, bottlenecking us.A distant set of thumps sounded out, and I looked over to see two bolts zipping past the pirate ships from our frigates. Two misses, but close ones, and the ships were already reloading.“Squad B, get aboard!” Princess Caprica shouted.“Princess-” one of her guards warned.“I’m not leaving until everyone is safe and secured,” Caprica snapped back. “If you have energy to complain, then you have energy to help.”Just then, a pair of sylph soldiers stumbled onto the rooftop from the roof access. They were both sporting fresh wounds. “The pirates are coming up, ma’am,” one of them said. “We need reinforcements down there.”Caprica froze for a moment, then glared around. “Squad A, you’re the last out, go down, reinforce Paladin Bastion, but make it a fighting retreat to the roof. No heroics.”A few sylph ran down the stairs, weapons out as they jumped to obey.My friends and I glanced at each other, and we moved to the centre of the roof, where we’d be right there to meet anyone coming up from below. The next few people who came up were more sylph. Some bearing injuries, others looking tired and dishevelled.I kept glancing over to the battle in the air nearby. The frigates were trading ranged fire with the pirate ships. They were faster, so they were basically doing huge figure-eights in the air while also coming closer to the tower. That meant that after one ballista fired, they’d turn around sharply and bring the ones on the other side to bear.Magic sparked and snapped in the air between the ships. Shields of thickened air burst apart, tossing projectiles aside, and walls of pure magic appeared for a split second to absorb tossed spells.For every ballista bolt fired, there were a dozen spells cast.From what I knew of spell casting, the ballista bolts were probably still more effective. My spells, at least, tended to fall apart a short time after I released them, and they certainly couldn’t reach over a hundred metres while remaining entirely cohesive.I winced as a coordinated set of spells from the lead pirate ship slipped around a magical shield and rammed into the hull of one of the sylph frigates. Red flames detonated along the steel hull plating — where they passed, the once-pristine surface was left pockmarked and rusty.Not enough to really hurt the ship, but a spell that strong... well, if it hit the main deck it could send sailors flying or rip apart the rigging. There were a lot of parts to an airship that the ship couldn’t afford to lose.My attention snapped back to the moment as more soldiers barged onto the roof. This rush was a lot less organised than the previous ones. The soldiers didn’t all seem injured, though they were a lot more panicked.Then Bastion emerged onto the rooftop, looking as calm and fresh as ever, though his sword’s length was stained in liquid red. “Form a half-circle,” he commanded. “We’re holding them off here. How long until the ship is loaded?”I glanced back. The last of the hostages was getting aboard.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.“We just need to load the soldiers on and we’ll be ready to go,” I said.Bastion looked my way, then nodded. “Good. Everyone, on the ship! Get moving!”“Will there be room for everyone?” Awen asked.“I don’t think that matters right now,” Amaryllis said.Boots clunked across the rooftop and sylph took to the air, flying aboard the ship even as the last hostage was helped across the gangplank and the wooden board was pulled back. I wasn’t worried for myself and my friends, we could ask for someone to carry us over in a pinch.Everyone started across the rooftop, even Bastion who was walking backwards along with a group of sylph, so we were nearly at the ship when the pirates burst through the doors.I heard Calamity's arrow whip past my head. The lead pirate attempted to evade but was a hair too slow; he was struck in the neck and crashed to the floor.The next one leapt over him, but was caught in midair by Amaryllis' thunderbolt. He stumbled on landing and Awen nailed him with her crossbow.These weren't the same brand of pirate as those we'd captured in the tower, though.The third pirate slapped Calamity's next arrow out of the air, took another step, and was almost cut down by a beam of gold mana — but the fourth pirate did something to disrupt it.They were pouring onto the roof now, each one bigger, burlier, healthier than the pirates we'd seen before. I didn't have time to check all their levels, but glancing at a few revealed that they seemed a match for any of our own sylph soldiers.The pirates spread out, advancing across the rooftop under our barrage of arrows, bolts, and spellfire. Sweat and blood stained their forms, but they advanced relentlessly, shielding and returning fire as they were able.“Princess, get onto the ship,” Bastion said.“Not until you do,” Caprica said.Bastion half-turned and locked eyes with Caprica. “Princess... no, Caprica. Allow me to overstep and say that... excuse me-"One of the pirates lunged across the distance between us, momentarily blurring out of my perception. Bastion whirled and slashed out, sending the pirate-with a jagged cut across his leg-sprawling across the tower.Bastion turned back to Caprica. "-As I was saying, I am incredibly impressed by what you've done today." He caught a thrown knife and threw it back. "I will be far less impressed if you die because you were too stubborn to get on that ship.Don’t make me throw you onboard.”Caprica flushed, and for a moment I thought she might just refuse out of principle. Then I touched her shoulder. “Head on over. We’ll be fine,” I said. “I can just jump over.”“Right,” she said before turning.Her royal guards let out twin sighs of relief and followed her across the gap to the Lunchbox.Even as my allies retreated to the ship, they kept firing, holding back the pirates as much as possible. My own fireballs didn't do much against foes at the level of ability, but I cast anyway.The pirates had forced us up to the edge of the tower now. Only a few soldiers remained to escape, but we were practically in close combat now and it was looking like we may not be able to disengage.I was caught off guard when the pressure from the pirates suddenly let up. The pirate mass parted down the middle, making room for a new figure to step up.Immediately, I knew that this was Commodore Megumi, the Sky Killer, even if they didn’t quite match what I imagined.She was a handsome twenty-something woman, with wind-tousled blonde hair and pale brown eyes. Her long, pirate captain’s coat was open at the front, and it seemed as if Commodore Megumi was a bit more comfortable with exposing skin than I was.“Well well,” she said as she reached up and adjusted her hat. It was an alright hat. A proper pirate’s hat made of red felt and with a skull and crossbones stitched on one side. She didn’t look too strange beyond the pirate costume, but somehow I still felt nervous looking at her. The way Bastion tensed didn’t help any. He hadn’t seemed worried about all of the other pirates in the same way he was worried about the Commodore. “So, you’re the little rats who have invaded my home?”I glanced at my friends, then back. “Um, I guess so. But really, you did kidnap a bunch of people, so it’s only fair that we free them.”The commodore grinned, and the pirates around her edged back. “Cute,” she said. Her eyes scanned me up and down. “A Cinnamon Bun Bun... a young woman with rabbit ears and not a single clue in her skull. You can only be Broccoli Bunch.”“You know me?” I asked. I felt strangely flattered.“I’ve heard of you,” she said. “You’re the one who caused all that trouble for Rainnewt.”“So, you do know Rainnewt,” I said.She grinned. “In passing, yes. If you expect to trick any secrets out of me, I’m afraid I won’t make it quite so easy. Rainnewt is the one with the penchant towards monologuing. I’m a little more down-to-earth.”“That’s okay,” I said. “Different strokes.”Commodore Megumi grinned. “I hadn’t heard that one in a while,” she said.“Broccoli, what is she saying?” Amaryllis asked.I didn’t dare glance back. “What do you mean?”“I mean, what language is that?” she asked.“Uh, I don’t know?” I said. It sounded normal to me. But then, now that I was paying attention... had we been talking in English?“Oh? So, that’s one secret out of the bag. Oh well.”“You’re a riftwalker?” I asked.She shrugged. “As are you. Though it shouldn’t be a surprise. In a world such as this one, those of us from elsewhere have the greatest potential to disrupt the existing order and thrive.” She gestured to the pirates around her. “Look at this rabble. They’re hardly impressive specimens. It’s rare that you’ll find anyone worth your time. We, I think, are the exception.”“Is this the part where you ask me to join your side?” I asked. This was feeling like familiar ground again, at least.She chuckled. “Would you say yes?”“Yes,” I said.Commodore Megumi stared at me, processed what I’d said, then squinted. “Wait, what?”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-One — Bite the Gust
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-One — Bite the Gust “Wait, what?” Commodore Megumi asked.“What what?” I asked right back.“What are you two talking about?” Amaryllis asked right over my shoulder. “Do keep in mind that we can’t understand a word of it.”I smiled back at her. “Well, she asked me if I’d join her side if she asked me nicely, and I said yes.”“You said what?” Amaryllis asked.“That was her reaction too!”Amaryllis pinched the bridge of her nose between the tips of her talons. “Broccoli,” she muttered. “What do you mean you’d join her if she asked?! She’s the bad guy.”“I know that,” I said.“I can understand you, you know,” Commodore Megumi said.I smiled over at her. “And that’s okay. Anyway, what I mean is that I’d join her if she wanted to become a friend. Of course, friends don’t let frirned kidnap innocent people and hold them hostage. But... well, friends also help friends work through bad habits, like a penchant for piracy, and I’m sure that with some hard work and a few long conversations I’d win her over and she’d become a nice person and then we’d be friends and then we wouldn’t have to worry about any of this piracy stuff.”“Why did you just say that? I can literally hear you,” Megumi said.I shrugged. “Why would that matter?”“Because... are you an idiot?” she asked. “Obviously if I know your plan then it won’t work.”“But it’s a plan based on friendship and trust and niceness, all things that work best when you have open and honest communication,” I pointed out. “Besides, I wasn’t planning on being subtle about it. I’m never subtle about making friends.”“You don’t make sense,” Megumi said. She gestured grandly, encompassing the tower and the pirates atop it and the whole world around us. “Look at this place. Endless potential. A whole world that we can grasp and control and do whatever we want in, and you want to do... what? Play silly games with your friends and act like a hero?”“That’s... yeah, that’s exactly what I want to do,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I? I’ve met so many nice people, seen incredible places and things, and I think this place is beautiful. Just look at this tower! It's a huge tower built by secretive snow-people and then abandoned for mysterious reasons, built to dock airships, and surrounded by a hostile forest filled with colossal trees and giant spiders! There’s so much to see and explore! Why would I want to ruin any of this by being mean and hurting people when I could make more friends instead?”Commodore Megumi seemed stumped for a moment, then she frowned at me. “You sound a lot like Rainnewt,” she said.I blinked. “I what?”“Hmph, now it’s your turn to be confused, isn’t it? You do sound like him. He would always go on and on the way you do, sounding so supremely certain of himself. Maybe whatever picks out Riftwalkers has a tendency to pick out people of your sort. But me? I’m not like that. I’m just here for the power, and I’ve admitted that to myself already.”“I don’t think I’m like Rainnewt,” I said. “Although, I guess we’re both idealists, it’s just that our ideas are very different. Are you sure I can’t convince you to give up on the bad piracy? You could become an adventurer, or just sail around and have fun, or become the good kind of pirate that fights against corrupt people and stuff.”Megumi grinned. “I’m afraid not. I’m not an idiot, Captain Bunch, but I know how the world works. If you submit to an authority, you'll never have any power beyond what they allow you. You'll never be free ... I'll be sticking with Rainnewt, I think. The two of us are equals, and he treats me as such."I frowned, then raised Weedbane up between us. The blade swung out, then snicked into place. “I don’t want to fight,” I said.“That’s rich, coming from someone who invaded my base and wrecked my ships.” She grinned, then raised a hand.“Broccoli!” Amaryllis shouted.I was grabbed from behind and flung back while Amaryllis created a staticy-shield between us and Megumi. A hard gust of wind slammed into the magical shield and I saw stray sparks of mana snapping one the edges of the half-dome.The Lunchbox creaked behind us as the wind continued to press against its side, and the gangplank scraped across the rooftop until its lip slipped off the edge and the board went tumbling away.Megumi stood across from us, coat whipping around her as she continued to blow a storm our way.“We need to move!” Amaryllis shouted.The sylph were tossing up shields, but they were barely doing anything against the constant wind. How much mana did Megumi have?I allowed Amaryllis to drag me away, then I saw Awen being carried over to the Lunchbox. The last few sylph on top of the tower were already heading over.So I scooped Amaryllis up in a princess carry, let her fire off a spell over my shoulder, then jumped over to the airship to land on its deck with a thump.“Cut us off!” Bastion shouted.Ropes were snapped and the Lunchbox lurched away from the edge of the tower.A howling downburst fell on us from above.My legs flew out from under me as the ship jolted from the gale, then I was slapped to the deck as the balloon was blown down on top of me.It felt like we were falling. I tried to scramble out from under the balloon, but I could hardly tell up from down."Engine to full!" a voice shouted, weirdly muffled through the material of the balloon.The engine bellowed, vibrating the deck beneath me and audible even over the wind. The force driving me to the deck increased.Without warning, we seemed to tear free of the blasting wind, and the balloon jerked free from me, rising up above the ship to its proper station.I pulled myself upright, gasping for air and looking around wildly.We were much, much lower than before, just about brushing the tops of the trees.The crew collected themselves, then ran around the deck, resetting sails and checking for damage while our flight steadied itself and we started to regain some altitude. The ship’s engine was roaring below deck as it countered whatever that had been.This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.Did Megumi just shove us straight down with a blast of wind? That was... strong.And yet if she wanted to kill us, it might have been as easy as just continuing to press us down until we crashed, or pulling us into the side of the tower so that the Lunchbox was dashed against the tower.I smiled. There was some good in her still, which meant there was hope, even if Rainnewt had sunk his claws into her. Maybe we could talk some more? Oh! We could become penpals! Did pirates get the mail?“Captain?” Caprica called out. The princess was standing on deck, feet spread to keep her balance.“I’m here,” I said as I stumbled to my feet, then I rubbed at my bum. I hoped that wouldn’t bruise. “Is everyone okay?”Caprica looked around the deck. Everyone seemed to be getting up, though a few of them were doing that strange little walk people do when they just hurt something. “If they’re not, then we’ll see to it they get treatment,” Caprica said. “We’ll make it. My bigger worry is with the battle that’s about to take place.”“Battle?” I asked.I was under the impression that we’d just finished that.Then Caprica pointed over my shoulder and I followed to see that the frigates were busy circling around one of the pirate ships, the more damaged of the two. The other was racing ahead to intercept us.“Oh,” I said. “Where are the Featherfall and Beaver Cleaver?” I asked.“Above,” Caprica said. “We’re trying to gain altitude. Being beneath your opponent in an airship battle is a good way to lose in a hurry.”I nodded. That was... good? Maybe? The Beaver was above the incoming pirate ship, so that leant it an advantage, right? I wasn’t expecting such a big pit of worry to open up in my tummy, but if I was ever going to be stressed out of my mind, well ... this is how it would happen..“We’re going to have to help,” Caprica said.“One thing at a time, princess,” Bastion said as he came over. “We just got out of one difficult situation, it wouldn’t do to leap into another. Now, I’d usually order a VIP below decks, but I know you won’t listen, so please just find a place to stand that isn’t in the way and don’t allow yourself to get shot.”Caprica nodded. “Yes, Bastion,” she said.I pulled her towards the rear where my friends joined me. Calamity was tapping the string of his bow and Awen reloaded her crossbow, taking her time to refill the magazine below it with fresh bolts.“I don’t like this waiting,” I said as I looked out. The Lunchbox was climbing, but it wasn’t very fast. The captain had directed the ship around the tower, towards the space where Commodore Megumi’s ship had torn free of the tower and crashed to the ground. It looked like a number of pirates were swarming around the ship, putting out fires and picking themselves up. They were very close to the forest, so I hoped for their sake that they hurried up before the spiders came to investigate all the noise.“Oh no,” Awen said.I spun and looked out and above.The injured pirate ship was close enough now to trade fire, and its first target was the Featherfall.The pirate ship was the same one that had limped back to the tower, the same one that the two frigates had taken potshots at. It was a tough ship if it was still airborne after so much constant punishment, and now it was firing huge bolts at the Featherfall which it outweighed by a factor of three.The Featherfall’s crew, and probably all the soldiers and harpy onboard, brought up a screen of magical defences. Wind spells, fireballs, magical barriers of different shades and sorts. The bolts crashed into the shields and through the first few before losing enough momentum that they flew under the ship and fell to the ground.They weren’t always going to be so lucky.The Featherfall fired back, but all it had to defend itself was a rather pitiful set of ballistae. A few mages onboard fired some longer-ranged spells which either missed outright or splashed harmlessly against counter magic.Then the Beaver Cleaver came rushing in. Or it rushed as much as my strangely designed home could rush. “Someone’s on my ballista battery,” Awen said.Caprica turned her way. “You built that thing?”“Ah, yes?” Awen said.“You have no idea how wildly illegal it is, do you?” Caprica asked.“Awa? Really? I just wanted something to fight off pirates with.”“Well, I suppose we’ll see how well that works out,” Caprica said with a nod.“I wonder if they loaded on the explosive bolts,” Awen wondered aloud.Caprica whipped her head around. “The what?”Above, the Beaver opened fire. It took some squinting to make out Oda at the gun, with Sally next to her helping to aim. The air filled with a hail of bolts which went wide, then they walked the bolts down towards the pirate ship.The pirates, of course, intercepted with spells. I don’t think they expected every-other-bolt to explode with a loud crack-boom though, and for a moment the spells fizzled out and a number of bolts flew right through and slammed into the balloon’s side.It had thin armour but a few plates fell off, revealing the underneath. It looked as though there were multiple, smaller balloons within, or maybe it was just one well-compartmentalised balloon meant to take a bit of a beating.In any case, it wasn’t rated for Awen’s special ammo.As the glass-tipped bolts slammed into the ship and exploded, I could see the faint glimmer of glass shrapnel in the air and fist-sized holes punched through the armour where whatever gas the airship was using to stay afloat started to leak.They, of course, started to turn to bring their ballistae around towards the Beaver and the Beaver only had the one gun on the one side, so it was going to be vulnerable soon.“Caprica, can we charge that ship?” I asked.“That sounds reckless,” she said. Then she shrugged. “But we’ve been doing nothing but reckless things all day. I’ll give the order. Get ready for some ship-to-ship fighting.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Two — If the Enemy is in Superior Strength, Evade Them
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Two — If the Enemy is in Superior Strength, Evade Them Caprica, my other friends, and I, all made haste to the rear of the ship. This ship had a proper wheelhouse, with a roof and windows overlooking the deck and sides of the ship, from which the airship could be directed without having the wind in our faces.Actually, that was a pretty great idea. I’d have to ask Awen if we could do something like that on the Beaver. As it was, the Beaver’s wheel was right out in the open, so when it was windy, or when we rose high enough that it got fingertip-freezing cold, whomever was at the wheel just had to deal with it.Behind the pilot stood the ship's captain in a well-trimmed uniform and his hands folded at the small of his back.“Captain,” Caprica said.“Princess,” the captain replied. “We’re coming around now. At our current pace we should be sliding into formation with the Featherfall and the, ah, Beaver in a few minutes.”“I see,” Caprica said. “Captain, do you believe it is possible that we could charge the pirate vessel?”“Charge it?” he asked. “Your highness... this isn’t a warship.”“Exactly. If we were close we could start boarding procedures.”“Belay that,” Bastion’s voice rang through the cabin as he stepped in. “Captain, plot a course southeast, we’re leaving the area.”“What?” Caprica asked.Bastion spared her a glance. “We’re not here to win an airship battle, your highness. Our objectives are complete. Leaving the area with as many ships intact as possible means that we will be victorious.”“But we could strike down that vessel,” Caprica said with a gesture to the pirate ship still some ways above and away from us. I looked over to it with some trepidation. The Beaver Cleaver was circling around it, trying to keep Awen’s repeating ballistae on target but it was having a hard time.The pirate ship wasn’t exactly as manoeuvrable as the smaller ships harassing it, but for all that it was slower it still had more armaments pointing in more directions and was able to return fire towards every ship near it.It was accumulating damage though. Even as I watched a bolt from the Featherfall snuck past its magical defence screens and stabbed into a nacelle protruding out of the side. The engine burst into flames for a moment before a wash of what I imagined was water magic slammed into it from the deck and the fire was replaced by torrents of smoke.The ship was studded with eight little nacelles, two others were already either smoking or missing outright, and losing one more probably wouldn’t be enough to stop it.“What about the others?” I asked.Bastion turned my way. “The signal was already sent and received. The frigates are moving to disengage and the Featherfall and Beaver Cleaver have responded in the affirmative already. If the pirates give chase, then we’ll turn around and deal with them, but part of combat on any scale is knowing when to cut away and retreat from an unfavourable position. We’re in one of those at the moment. Let’s not push our luck any more than we have.”Caprica’s cheeks puffed, and I was reminded that she was a princess that didn’t often get told no in such a stern way. I sighed. "Are certain that the frigates will be able to escape on their own?" I asked Bastion.“As certain as I can be,” he replied.“Then let’s leave. We’ve done enough fighting for one day. The former hostages will be safe, and the pirates will be left with damaged ships, no hostages, and dozens of injured.”Bastion nodded, then he looked to the ship’s captain who nodded back. “Forty degrees to port, we’re changing our heading south and east.”“Aye aye,” the pilot said before he turned the ship’s wheel around a smidge and the Lunchbox started to turn.I hovered by the windows, looking out at the ships that we were leaving behind... for the moment. The Featherfall broke off right away. I imagined they’d kicked their engines to max and they started to really gain some momentum as they flew past the pirate ship.The Beaver executed a half-turn, which meant that it couldn’t fire back at the pirates for a moment, but then its big prop spun faster and the Beaver took off, gaining altitude even as the pirate ship found itself facing in the wrong direction to chase us.Further out, the two frigates disengaged and cut over to meet us, leaving a damaged but still air-worthy pirate ship behind.The two pirate ships hovered around, clearly they hadn’t expected the battle to end on such an anticlimactic note.“I guess it’s over,” Amaryllis said. She let out a long breath next to me as if she was deflating a little. Awen giggled on my other side. She looked relieved too.I grabbed my nearest friends, hands wrapping around their waists, and pulled them closer. The nearness made me feel a little better. “It’s done, for now,” I said.I think Mister Menu caught on that the action was over because no sooner had I spoken that I was caught in a small flood of messages that I’d missed out on.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Way of the Mystic Bun skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B costs 2 Skill Points!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Mad Millinery skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs 1 Skill Point!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Insight skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B costs 2 General Skill Points!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Archeology skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs 1 General Skill Point!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Hugging Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs 1 General Skill Point!I blinked at the wall of notifications. “Whoa,” I said.Calamity chuckled from somewhere nearby. “Got hit with the level ups, huh?” he asked. “That’s normal enough after nya worked so hard and took a few big risks.”“Yeah. I’d kind of forgotten that I would be hit with a few level-ups. Or skill-ups, I guess.”And then Mister Menu flashed another pair of boxes up for me.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun Bun class has reached level 14!Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class Skill PointBing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 5!Stamina +10Magic +10You have gained: One Class Skill Point“Oh, a double level-up!” I cheered. That was going to make a big difference!
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
14
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
5
Age
16
Health
155
Stamina
175
Mana
155
Resilience
70
Flexibility
85
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 07%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 40%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
C — 19%
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 24%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 75%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 89%
Matchmaking
D — 78%
Hugging Proficiency
D — 100%
Captaining
D — 100%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
2
Wonderlander Skill Points
4
General Skill Points
3
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
3
This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.“Hmm, only one here,” Amaryllis said. “Thundere’s now at fifteen.”“Oh, you’re ahead of me with your main class,” I said.“My secondary is still only at three,” she demured. “Not too many opportunities to practise it, I’m afraid.”“Awa, I’m at thirteen and four,” Awen said. “I think I’m still behind.”“Not by much,” I said. “And with all the dings and dents on the Beaver Cleaver...”She giggled. “Ah, yes, I guess having our ship damaged does have that silver lining.”I grinned back. It wasn’t often I heard Awen being... well, not quite snarky but clever with her words. I leaned my head to the side so that it was resting on her shoulder. “Urgh, now I’m going to have to decide what to upgrade and where to spend all of my points.”“Yes, I’m sure that’s a terrible burden,” Amaryllis said. “Come on, if you really need the help, we can sit down later and go over everything and pick out what skills would help you the most if improved.”“Thanks!” I said. “I’ll make some tea, and we can make a nice evening of it.”“I doubt it would take all evening,” Amaryllis said.Caprica moved closer to us, her eyebrows were knit as she looked over us. “You’re quick to dismiss all of the trouble we’ve just been through.”“Dismiss?” I asked. “We’re not dismissing it, we’re just focusing on what we can do now.” I gestured to the pirate ships and the friendly ships flying away from them. The tower was slowly growing more distant. “That’s done, right? We’ve kind of won.”“There’s still lots of work. We need to transfer the rescued from ship to ship, as well as redistribute cargo. Then we need to decide where to go, how to communicate what happened, and to whom we should communicate to begin with.”I paused, then pulled back from my friends. The void seemed to bother Amaryllis and Awen who looked at where I was, then looked at each other. I could almost see gears turning in their heads as they considered whether they should close ranks for hugging purposes or not. But then they were both just a little smidge too shy for that.I still had some work to do there!“Come,” I said to Caprica.“Are you going to try and hug me again?”“Do you want a hug?” I asked. “Because I don’t mind delivering them.”She shook her head, and I didn’t push. There was a time and a place to hug someone when they didn’t think they needed one, and I didn’t feel like this was the right place for it. “I’m just... I don’t know.” She raised a hand and I noticed that it was shaking a little bit.I grabbed her hand and held it between mine, warming her up as best I could. “I think it’s all the adrenaline leaving you,” I said. “It makes your heart thump-thump mad fast, but then when it’s all done you get this big crash.”“You seem fine,” she said. It was almost an accusation.I grinned. “I’m not you, and you’re not me, Caprica. There’s more than one ingredient in a soup.”Caprica stared, confused for a moment before the horrible realisation hit. “Broccoli, did you just make a play on words based on your name being a food?”“Did it distract you?” I asked.“Amaryllis was right,” she said as if coming to a decision. “You’re an idiot sometimes.”I giggled, then she joined in a moment later.“Come on,” I said. “There’s still a lot of work to be done, isn’t there? You need to look good for the soldiers, and we need to figure out where and how to divide the rescued.”“The nobles are going to be trouble,” she pointed out.“Then we figure out which ones are the most trouble and split them from the people that’ll encourage their trouble-ness,” I said.She nodded. “That easy, huh?”“Well, no, but it’s a good first step. Besides, I've noticed that keeping noble-sorts distracted tends to work great.”Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. “Right,” she said. “Let’s get things in order then. We need to ensure that each ship has enough medical personnel to watch over everyone. I don’t think we have enough berths, but we can set up a simple rotation that’ll give everyone a bit of space until the ships arrive in Sylphfree. And I’m going to have to contact the port authorities to prepare to take in a number of refugees.”“Okay, let’s get to work then.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Three — Booked for the Foreseeable Future
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Three — Booked for the Foreseeable Future The Featherfall wasn’t equipped to handle all the people we had on board. So we flew for a couple of hours before deciding it was safe enough to start transferring people from one ship to another.That means bringing the Featherfall and the Lunchbox in close to each other, then connecting the two together by means of a long gangplank and a bit of temporary rigging. It was a complex manoeuvre. The wind could shift at any moment and pull the ships apart or scrape them together, so the pilots had to pay very close attention and the crew on deck needed to be quick to act as well.Fortunately, everyone was working well together, and the rescuees transfer was going along fairly well.We decided to move the least injured onto the Lunchbox. It was easier for them to move and we didn’t want to disturb the freed harpy that had been hurt and who were resting in the Featherfall’s hold.We also transferred some supplies and a few sylph from ship to ship. Basically, we were turning the Featherfall into a temporary hospital ship, at least until the fleet arrived back in Sylphfree and could reach better accommodations.“We’ll be heading straight for the capital,” Caprica said. “The Royal Pride should be waiting for us out ahead. It’s also been damaged in the skirmish.”“We’ll make quite the sight,” Calamity said with a grin. “Half a dozen dinged-up ships, flying in tatters.”“But still victorious,” Amaryllis pointed out. “We accomplished much with rather little. I think everyone will be able to appreciate that. Saving the hostages alone will earn us all a fair amount of goodwill.”Caprica nodded. “We’re going to have to hope that that goodwill is enough to dampen some of the... less good will we’ll be receiving from others. Some people will absolutely criticise this operation, saying we took enormous risks, acted outside of our prescribed authority, and raised international tensions by deploying the military in a foreign country. I think the fact that we were successful should quell most of the criticism, but we’re still going to have a few complaints to deal with.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Which leads to our biggest current issue. The Snowlanders.”“The Snowlanders?” I asked.The princess grimaced. “Yes. We trespassed onto their land. Now, we had all the excuses in the world to do it, and we left without harming them, but I can imagine them using this as an excuse to stir up trouble.”“Would they do that?” Awen asked.“Maybe. Maybe not,” Caprica said. “The Snowlanders are usually very reserved, especially when it comes to more international affairs. Out of all the major nations on this continent, they are perhaps the most secluded.”“That doesn’t mean that they approve of piracy,” I said. “I bet all we have to do is tell them about all the mean things the pirates have done and they’ll be really annoyed. Do they have a police force of some sort?”Amaryllis nodded. “They do. The Snowlander’s army isn’t as grand as the Harpy Mountains or Sylphfree’s but what it lacks in numbers it makes up for in technological edge. Actually, that’s how a lot of their things function. They make up for a small population by having an effective one.”“Oh, I can’t wait to visit then,” I said. It sounded so different to any of the places I’d been to so far. I wanted to visit all the cool places on Dirt, of course!“That might happen sooner than you’d think,” Caprica said. She straightened up a little, and I paid more attention. “Captain Bunch, Lady Albatross, Lady Bristlecone, Mister... Danger.” She cleared her throat. “I have a mission for you.”“A mission?” I asked.“Yes. I know this will mean basically no downtime between your preventing a war and now today’s assault on a pirate base, but I think it’s important,” she said.Amaryllis huffed, but it was a huff that was at least a little curious. “Well, what’s this mission of yours?”“I need someone to visit the capital of the Snowlands. Both to deliver some correspondence on my behalf, and to discover how deep Rainnewt’s grasp has reached. If he managed to turn one of the most advanced nations on Dirt against the rest of us, then we might very well be faced with an impending catastrophe. We need to know, and we need to act to stop anything terrible from happening. Also, the Baron Vonowl needs to be brought to justice. We don’t have the right to arrest him in foreign territory, but I’m certain a case could be made against him. He did support pirates and kidnap nobles from another nation and held them hostage within the Snowlands. That’s a political disaster and a half for the nation.”“That’s a whole lot,” I said. “But I wouldn’t mind a trip to the Snowlands.”“You’ll be compensated, of course,” Caprica said. “I have a supply of discretionary funds that I brought along to pay for this expedition. I can give you most of those."Wait," Amaryllis interjected. "You want us to depart immediately? Now?""If possible, yes," Caprica grimaced. "I would prefer if we had time to plan, but I would like to get you on Vonowl's trail before it goes cold.""I'm sure it'll be fine!" I grinned. "If my days weren't booked solid, I'd probably explode, like one of those deep-sea fish."Amaryllis squinted at me. "What?""In any case," Caprica valiantly continued, "The money I can give you is a sum meant to keep six ships afloat and functional for a couple of weeks. Not a vast fortune, but it should be enough gold to help.”“A little gold is nice, but this seems like a terribly dangerous mission,” Amaryllis said. “And you’re sending a group of explorers on a task better suited to a group of commandos and professional diplomats with the sort of pay that would barely cover the cost of a transport ship. Is the nation of Sylphfree having funding issues?”Caprica flushed. “That’s just what I can offer in gold now. Of course I can give you a promissory note that would cover the rest. I’m not cheap.”I held back a giggle, but stepped in before Amaryllis could really get going. I loved my best harpy friend, but sometimes she was a little avaricious when she saw the potential to make a heap of gold. “I think we wouldn’t mind,” I said. “I don’t think we had any big business left in Sylphfree, did we?”If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.“Perfect!” Caprica said. “In that case, we’re going to have to arrange for a second air-to-air transfer, this time with the Beaver Cleaver. And... technically a change of command now that the Admiral is leaving.”I laughed at that. I’d kinda forgotten in all the excitement that Admiral Orange was in charge of this entire operation. I think she’d done a fantastic job of it, all things considered. “Oh! Is she going to get a medal?”Caprica’s nose twitched. “Uh... she might, actually. This kind of gung-ho, semi-unlawful operation that still succeeds is exactly the kind of thing that elevated our most famous leaders to the status of heroes. It’s very much the kind of thing that gets a slap on the wrist and a medal pinned to your chest.”I grinned. I kind of liked the idea of getting a shiny medal or two. I was sure people would take me more seriously if I had a few medals. I could even use them as hairclips!Once the Featherfall had cast off from the Lunchbox, we continued to fly on for a little bit. Just another half hour or so. Bastion thought that it was wiser to get more distance between us and the place where we’d ended up stopping, in case the pirates were very quick to repair their ships and wanted to ambush us on our return to Sylphfree.After all, it was pretty obvious which direction we were travelling in, so any pirate that wanted to intercept us would know more or less where to go.Still, we did kind of mess up all of their ships. Two of them were still able to fly, but they were both heavily damaged, so they would probably have difficulty catching up to us. Hopefully, they wouldn't try anything. Our own fleet wasn’t looking too sparkly and new at the moment either.Eventually, we got the Lunchbox and the Beaver Cleaver to line up, and then one of the sylph onboard the Beaver flew over with a line to connect the two ships.We brought the two ships closer together, the Beaver’s wideness actually coming in handy since we didn’t need as long of a gangplank between the two. A few poles tied between the ships prevented them from accidentally ramming together too.Then it was time to get resources across.Since the fleet was heading back home already and were just about a day’s flight away, we got to load up the Beaver with all sorts of supplies. Food and water, of course, but also some things that Caprica thought might be handy, like extra clothes, old, well-worn uniforms, and some medical supplies.“You’ll be able to disguise yourselves as merchants at this rate,” Caprica said as she watched a crate being carried across. “I hope you won’t need that kind of deception, but if it comes to it...”“Yeah, better to have it and not need it, right?” I asked as I stood next to the gangplank.It was, unfortunately, time for goodbyes again. Those were always bittersweet moments. Bastion tore himself away from his endless work and endured a good hug. I knew he wasn’t a very hug-y person, but he was a nice enough friend that he allowed me to give him a squeeze anyway.While I stole Bastion for hugs, the others said their goodbyes to Caprica. I was happy to see that all of my friends were getting along, old and new.Then I said goodbye to Caprica too, which involved more hugs!“I’m going to miss this,” she admitted, voice low enough that only I could hear.“Then I’ll give you a few more for the road,” I said as I squeezed tighter.She laughed, and I found myself smiling. There was nothing quite like hugging someone who was laughing to make you feel better. “That reminds me. I’m going to have a package moved onboard the Beaver, into my former room, open it once you’re a little ways away, alright?”“Sure,” I said.The hug ended, and then Caprica engaged with Amaryllis. A clinking pouch changed hands and Amaryllis smugly thanked the princess for her contributions, before they paused and stared at each other. Then they hugged, and it was all I could do not to clap and do a little dance.They were learning!But, as with all goodbyes, this one came to an end. We crossed the gangplank back onto the Beaver Cleaver, with Calamity taking the lead (and showing a cat’s disregard for heights as he did) before the rest of us followed.“Welcome back, Captain,” Clive said as he saluted us. The last of the sylph onboard the Beaver were heading off, while a few were still carrying some final crates across.“Hello, Clive,” I said. “I saw that fight earlier, that was exciting!”“Aye,” the old sailor said. “A bit too exciting for my old bones, but the ship held himself together well enough, and we gave those pirates a reason to think twice with Miss Awen’s contraption. Oda is quite enamoured with the device.”I grinned. “How is he holding up?” I asked with a gesture to the Beaver.“Well enough. A few scratches and maybe a scuff or two, but nothing that a lick of paint won’t fix,” he said. “He’s ready for your orders.”“Great!” I said. “We’re heading westward, away from the rest of the fleet. I think we’ll have to fly fast at first, but once we’re a ways away we can slow down and let the wind carry us on. How’s our fuel situation?”“Bunkers are three-quarters full,” he said. “Enough to get us from one end of the Harpy Mountains to another, I’d judge.”“Brilliant! Let’s wait until the last of the cargo is on, and then we’ll take off. Awen, can you check to see if your turret’s in tip-top shape? Amaryllis, check the charts please, we need to know where we’re going. Uh... Calamity, maybe join up with the Scallywags, I’m sure they can show you a trick or two for sailing!”The deck filled with the busy clonk of books moving about. I watched the last of the cargo get loaded on-including one large crate that went down to the room Caprica had used-and then I climbed up behind the wheel and helped Clive disengage us from the Lunchbox.It was time to head off onto another jaunt!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Four — From Sylphfree With Love
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Four — From Sylphfree With Love After waving goodbye to the fleet and heading due west for a while, I finally let go of the Beaver’s wheel and let Calamity and Clive take over. Calamity was eager to learn how to pilot the ship, and Clive was a nice enough sort that he didn’t mind teaching others his trade. In fact, I think he liked giving lessons about piloting airships.As I left the poop deck I ran into Awen who smiled and gave me a little wave. “Hey Broc,” she said. “Do you mind helping me a little?”“Of course not,” I said. “But with what?”Her smile turned a little rueful and she gestured down at herself. She’d shucked off her coat at some point, leaving her in a blouse and sturdy trousers, both of which were now splattered with grease and oil.“Oh,” I said, giggling. “Sure, give me a second.” A liberal application of Cleaning magic later, and Awen was as fresh as new.“Thanks,” she said. “I was just checking up on the engine. One of the pirate’s bolts actually lodged itself into the engine compartment. It broke right through the wall and jammed itself into the housing of an air intake.”“Oh no,” I said.“It’s nothing too bad. I pulled it out and patched the hole. There was a weird whistle as soon as I opened the door into the engine compartment, so I knew something was up. Anyway, we’ll have to get a new housing but it’s just a bit of tin, nothing too complicated, and it should work just as well now as it did before. It’s not going to be an expensive fix. The hole in the hull is more annoying, we just had it painted.”“I know,” I commiserated. It really was annoying to have already collected a few scratches and scuffs right after the Beaver was refitted, but there wasn’t much we could do about it. At least the ship seemed to be in nearly perfect condition otherwise. Or... I guessed it was. “Is there anything else that broke?”“No. I think the engine was pushed a little harder than usual, but it’s running fine. I oiled everything that moves and made sure that anything that wasn’t supposed to be moving wasn’t.”I laughed again. “You make mechanics sound easy when you put it that way.”“I don’t find it all that hard,” Awen said. “It’s a little tricky but it’s just like a puzzle. The bigger and more complicated the machine, the more parts there are to the puzzle. Only they’re all interconnected, moving parts which are very loud sometimes.” She smiled. “That makes it more fun.”Awen loved her work, and it was just plain nice to see her enjoying what she did. I stretched until my lower back popped, then let out a big long sigh. “Ah, I think I need a nap,” I said.She nodded. “Today was tiring, wasn’t it?”I nodded at that. A glance at the sky suggested that it was still just the early afternoon, way too early for bed, but maybe not too early for a nap... although I supposed that I should have been preparing supper for everyone. “Want to help me in the kitchen? More hands will make it lighter work.”“Sure,” Awen said. “You’d think cooking would be like mechanics, but it’s so much harder somehow.”“Well, cooking’s like an art,” I said. “You just need to know what does what and go with what you think feels right. At least, that’s always worked out for me.”“I’m not good at art,” Awen said.I glanced at her, curious. “You’re not?”She shook her head. “No, I’m really not. My mother tried to get me to learn all sorts of art things, but I was never able to get the hang of any. Except music. But I can’t make my own music, I’m just okay at playing the instruments and following along to what’s written in front of me. I tried to compose a little, but I don’t know, it doesn’t work.”I tapped my chin, then shrugged. “That’s okay. Maybe try baking then? That’s less of an art and more of a science.”“That sounds fun. We could make cakes and things like that. Um, provided we install an oven on the Beaver, which sounds a little heavy.”“Right.” I said. That would be tricky.“Or I could bake in the engine room. Some parts get hot enough. All you’d need is to box them in, I think,” Awen said.“I don’t know if that’s a great idea. You’ll end up with engine gunk in some bread and I don’t think that’ll be healthy,” I said.Awen laughed. “Yeah, fair enough. Maybe a heat exchanger then? But that would also be pretty heavy.”We discussed the possibilities of an airborne bakery as we made our way to the Beaver’s lower deck and to the corridor lined by our separate bedrooms. I paused near the end. The door to the room we let Caprica take for herself was open a crack which wasn’t ideal. The ship rocked and turned sometimes, so having loose things meant that they’d roll around and bump into stuff.“One sec,” I told Awen as I pushed the door open. It felt a little rude to enter what I’d started to think of as Caprica’s room, but in reality she hadn’t left anything behind. There were some blankets on the cot and it was possible that she’d left some things in the few drawers tucked in the corner of the room, but otherwise the space was still empty, same as Bastion’s room.Except, of course, for a rather large crate left in the middle of the floor.“Huh,” I said as I stared at it. She’d mentioned sending this over, but I couldn’t recall any details about what it was. It was just a box, about as wide as my shoulders and tall as my hips.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.“Are those air-holes?” Awen asked, leaning around me to see into the room..There were, in fact, little holes drilled just under the hemp handles on either side of the crate. “That’s a little weird,” I said as I moved closer. I expected to find a note or something, but there was nothing, just a big old box.Then the box shuddered and I jumped so high I smushed my ears against the ceiling.“It’s alive!” I squeaked.Awen frowned and walked right up to the box and placed a hand atop it to stop its wobbling. “What’s in here?” she asked.“It’s me,” the box said.I blinked. The box said with Caprica’s voice. “Caprica?” I asked. “Are you in the box?”“Yes?” the box said.I looked to Awen who shrugged. “It’s nailed shut,” she said.“Maybe it’s a mimic,” I suggested. “Caprica, can you prove that it’s you? What’s your sister’s name?”“Gabrielle or Sylvia? You haven’t met my other sisters yet, as far as I know,” Caprica said.“Should we, ah, open the box?” Awen asked.“I guess so,” I said. This was a little strange. “You might want to go get Amaryllis and tell her that we have a stowaway onboard.”“I’m not a stowaway,” Caprica said from within the box she’d used to sneak aboard our ship, kind of like how a stowaway would.“If you say so,” I said.Awen looked at the box, then back up to me. “Right, I’m going to go fetch a crowbar,” she said before leaving.I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the crate. I could just make out Caprica’s eye through one of the air holes. “So, want to tell me why you’re, uh, nailed into a box and onboard the Beaver without permission?” I asked. “Because you could have just asked. You already have a room and everything.”“It’s not your permission that’s complicated,” she said. I had to imagine her very unprincess-like pout. “It’s my guards. It was complicated enough just getting onboard in this box you know, without a trail of guards and servants and all the usual train of sylph that follow a princess around.”“You wanted to sneak away?” I asked.“Well... not just that,” she admitted.I frowned and thought about it for a bit. Caprica didn’t seem to dislike her role as princess. She was a rather active one, and she sometimes pushed the boundaries, I imagined, but for the most part I think she enjoyed her life. Of course, there was... ah.“Caprica,” I asked.“Yes Broccoli?” she replied, voice a little muffled by the box.“Did you do this so that Bastion would follow you and come to your rescue?” I asked.The box was very, very silent. I could almost imagine it was a normal, stowaway-less crate. Finally, after a long wait, I heard a faint and very unconvincing, “No.”“Uh-huh,” I said.Awen returned with a crowbar and an Amaryllis.“What’s all this about a stowaway?” Amaryllis asked. I pointed to the box and she stared at it for a moment. “Toss it overboard,” she said. She sounded serious, but there was a hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth that suggested otherwise.Caprica thumped the inside of her box. “Let me out,” she said.“Broccoli once used this phrase on me... I found it quite insulting at the time, now what was it... oh yes,” Amaryllis grinned. “What’s the magic word?”“Is it ‘now?’” Caprica asked.“No, it’s ‘please.’ You should try it sometimes, Miss Stowaway Princess.”“Please let me out?” Caprica asked churlishly.Awen was holding back giggles as she moved around the box and jammed the end of her crowbar into the wood and forced it up bit by bit. Whomever Caprica had convinced to help her into the box had really done a nice job nailing it shut.“Ah, thank you!” Caprica said as she finally stood. The space in there wasn’t all that much bigger than she was, so I imagined it wasn’t a comfortable fit. Though it looked like she had a thin blanket squeezed into the bottom for padding.“Care to explain?” Amaryllis asked.“I thought you could use the help,” Caprica said.Amaryllis snorted. “Yeah, sure.”“She did it for love,” I said. “It’s kind of sweet... even if I’m pretty sure her plan won't work.”Caprica shot me a dirty look, but it faded soon enough.“Anyway,” I said. “Want to help us make supper?” I asked.“Just like that?” she replied.I stood up and got off her bed. “Well, yeah, what did you expect us to do? You obviously want to come with us, and I don’t think any of us mind.”“I mind the heat this will bring,” Amaryllis said. “The sylph might decide that we’ve kidnapped one of their precious princesses.”I shrugged. “We’ll deal with that when the time comes, right? Besides, maybe Caprica can write a nice letter home.” I patted Caprica on the back. “Now, did you pack a change of clothes? Some gear? Did you bring more than just one blanket? You know, you should always bring a towel with you when stowing away, just in case.”Caprica seemed a little overwhelmed for a moment, and I almost hugged her on reflex, but she shored up her resolve and stood taller. “I’m alright. I didn’t bring any clothes, but I’m certain I can endure these for a day or two. And I stashed a spare shield and sword under the bed, just in case.”“Cool!” I said. “In that case, want to help Awen and I in the kitchen? We don’t know what we’re making yet, but I bet it’ll be really tasty!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Five — Cultural Considerations
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Five — Cultural Considerations “And here we go!” I said as I placed down what Awen and I had cooked.It wasn’t anything too complicated, a big stew, with whatever spices smelled nice, chopped up carrots, parsnips, turnips, radishes, and beets. All root vegetables that apparently grew aplenty in the Sylphfree mountains, judging by the stores we had of those. We also added some lentils to add some thickness to the stew and some mushrooms tossed in as well to make it taste a little meatier.I wasn’t sure of the taste yet, but my tummy was very insistent that I have a bowlful. Every sniff made it growl and grumble.We pulled out a few extra chairs from the bedrooms so that there would be room for everyone at the dining room table.The Beaver Cleaver was flying on a slow, meandering path westward, the wheel and sails locked and the engine shut down for the moment while the wind gently pushed us along. We couldn’t leave the wheel unattended forever, but for one meal? We could manage that.“That smells fantastic,” Calamity said as he spun his chair around and sat on it backwards. Next to him, the Scallywags, Joe, Sally and Oda, pulled up their own seats. It was nice to see them getting along.Steve, Gordon and Clive found seats mixed in with the rest of us, and soon enough I was taking people’s bowls and ladling in a healthy portion for everyone. Airshipping was busy, hard work, so the crew needed their bellies full.Empty tummies lead to empty minds, I always found.I served myself last, checked the cauldron (which was down to half, so not everyone would get thirds, which was a shame), then passed around some still-fresh bread before I sat down. “Eat up!” I called, even if some of the crew were already digging in.What followed was a couple of minutes where the only sounds were happy noises and the clink-clink of spoons tapping against bowls. Eventually though, the initial hunger passed and Calamity, who was the first to empty his bowl, pointed across the table with his spoon. “So, is the princess supposed to be here?” he asked.“Nope,” I said. “She snuck onboard.”“That’s a gross oversimplification,” Caprica said.“But it’s right?” I asked, a little confused. I paused to grab another spoonful of potato.“You know, back in my day we used to just toss stowaways overboard,” Clive said. I looked at him, horrified, and he went on to clarify. “They were harpy, they could glide down safely enough.”That still seemed a bit extreme, and not terribly nice, even if the stowaway wasn’t supposed to be there. “Well, let’s not throw Caprica overboard,” I said.“Yes, she might be somewhat useful,” Amaryllis said.“Somewhat?” Caprica grumbled. “I’ll have you know that I’m more than just somewhat useful, thank you very much.”“Girls, don’t fight,” I admonished. “Not at the dinner table, please. Or even anywhere else.”“It wasn’t a fight, Broccoli. Or even an argument. Just stating simple, verifiable facts,” Amaryllis said. She smiled slyly as she took a sip of water.Caprica glared across at her, then seemingly decided to be the bigger person and also let everyone know that she was being the bigger person by sniffing haughtily and looking away.“So, is this normal?” Calamity asked.“Kidnapping noblewomen?” I asked. “I don’t think it’s normal, but it is strange that it’s happened twice.”“Wait, was Amaryllis the first time?” he asked.“Oh, awa, that was me,” Awen said. “And it wasn’t so much kidnapping as, um, Broccoli helping me to run away from home.”“Huh, alright,” Calamity said. “Ny’all are a weird bunch, you know that?”I laughed, and the mood at the table lightened up a bit, not that it was ever dark to begin with. Though it was getting darker outside. The Beaver’s dining room had a floor-to-ceiling window to one side that gave us a stunning view of the expanse of sky and land below, all of which was turning the burnt-orange of near-night.Soon enough it was time for dessert, which wasn’t anything too fancy. Sylph chocolate bars, which were more like chocolate bricks that we had to scrape with a knife and which I imagined would break the teeth of anyone that tried to bite it.Caprica showed us a neat trick with some fire magic that warmed the interior of the bar up and turned it soft enough to be sliced apart with a butter knife.Once dessert was had and everyone sat back and enjoyed a mugful of warm tea, we discussed night rotations (I volunteered to take the first half of the night’s watch since I was wide awake) and generally planned our flight to the Snowlands.We were currently so far north that to get to the capital, Stormtower, we would actually need to head south around the Deepcloud mountains, then straight west for a long ways. It was going to take two days, at least, and that was if the wind was with us.No one here had flown across this part of the world before, but Clive warned that the winds around any mountains could be tricky, so we’d have to watch our heading and maybe fight the wind for a little while.On the more positive side of things, we had bunkers full of fuel, and more fuel aboard the Redemption if we needed it. Our pantry was full of yummy stuff to eat, and the company was fun to be around.With food taken care of, I said I’d do the washing up (which was basically just magic practice) and then the crew dispersed. Those on break lingered and those who had to take care of things went off to see to them.That meant that in the end, I was left mostly alone with Amaryllis and Caprica in the little kitchen space we had. I Cleaned our plates off and secured them in our rattle-resistant plate racks.“What do you know about the Snowlands?” Caprica asked.Stolen novel; please report.“Why? Do you intend to lecture us?” Amaryllis asked right back.“Girls,” I warned.“Sorry,” Amaryllis said after a moment. “Do go on.”Caprica nodded. “What I meant to ask was... well, I know a little about them, but not too much. I’ve met a few Snowlanders, but only rarely, and their nation is far enough away from Sylphfree that we don’t have much business with them. I imagine you might have seen them more often, Amaryllis, seeing as how you’re basically neighbours.”“There’s a strip of land between the Harpy Mountains and the Snowlands. It ostensibly belongs to the Trenten Flats, even if their claim on the region is... tenuous at best,” Amaryllis said. “In any case, no, I really don’t know much about them. Most of their technology is ahead of ours, and they’re not keen on sharing, but otherwise...” She trailed off. “You could ask Awen about their machinery, she’d know more than I do.”Awen was off checking on the engine at the moment, so that kind of discussion would have to wait.“I don’t think a people’s technology is everything there is,” I said. “What’s their culture like? Are they friendly? Shy? Reclusive? I haven’t met anyone from there so I wouldn’t know where to start. What do Snowlanders even look like?”“Oh,” Caprica said. “Well, I can share a little about their culture, but I think you’re operating under a misunderstanding.”“Huh?” I asked.“It’s a fair one to make. Most nations have formed around a dominant core of a certain species, with representatives outside of that species being rare, although hardly unheard of. In Sylphfree we have the molefolk who make up a sizable percentage of the total population, even though they are quite different culturally. I think the Trenten Flats are a little more diverse when it comes to its population. The leadership and majority are both held by cervid, but a number of enclaves and cities exist with other peoples. Calamity’s kin being one large group.”“Oh,” I said. “Is the Snowlands like that?”She nodded. “The nation is nearly evenly split between two groups who have coexisted for a very long time.”“That’s cool!” I said.“Cool?” Caprica asked.“It’s a Broccoli-ism,” Amaryllis explained. “It means both interesting, neat, and cold at the same time. I suspect it’s because she comes from a place that’s very cold.”I blinked. How had my translation magic stuff translated ‘cool’ just then? “Yeah, anyway, tell me more about the Snowlanders. Are the two species similar, or are they super different?”“It’s less a scenario like the Harpy Mountains with its dozens of clans and old families,” Amaryllis said. “And more something akin to... well, actually I think it’s rather unique. The larger of the two groups-thought not by very much-are called the Cold Mountain Dwarves, and the smaller group is called the Snow Forest Elves.”I dropped a bowl.Fortunately, it was a tin bowl (because anything easy to break would be silly on an airship) and all it did was clang onto the floor, then do a warble-wobble until it settled. “Dwarves? Elves?!” I asked.“Yes?” Caprica said. She was leaning way back, and I realized that maybe I hadn’t been using my indoor voice there.“Sorry, but... yeah, I wasn’t expecting that.”“Why are you surprised?” Amaryllis asked.“I just am,” I said. “Are they Tolkien elves?”“What?” they both asked at the same time.I shook my head. “Sorry, I mean, tall, pretty, very long-lived? Lithe?”Amaryllis nodded. “That seems to describe them. Though I don’t know about their lifespans.”“They’re quite long-lived,” Caprica said. “But there are relatively few of them, overall.”“Awesome! And are the dwarves small stocky fellows with big beards?”“So you have heard of them,” Caprica said. “Are there any in your homeland?”“No, but I wish there were! Oh, now I can’t wait to arrive. Are the elves snooty? Do the dwarves care a bunch about their beards?” I asked. These were, of course, very important questions. When I set out to play fantasy tourist I didn’t expect to actually meet actual elves and dwarves.“I... don’t know about snooty. They’re certainly a proud and noble race,” Caprica said. “As for the dwarves, yes, they do tend to have beards.”“This is amazing, I am so excited,” I could barely contain myself.“We can see that,” Amaryllis replied. I think she was a little teensy bit weirded out, but she didn’t understand, so it wasn’t her fault. “In any case, the Snowlanders are big on respect and decorum. Moreso even than Sylphfree.”“And at the same time, they’re also exceptionally laid back,” Caprica said. “It’s a challenge to determine when they’ll switch from extremely formal to... nearly vulgar in their informality. It’s not even a question of friendship or power dynamics. I honestly don't know how they choose which set of behaviors is appropriate, or what factors might influence them — no one knows, in fact, so I’ve always been taught to be formal and polite to a fault around them. Being informal when you should be formal is an insult, the opposite is merely a faux-pas, so that’s the rule when dealing with them.”“I think I can manage that,” I said. “How do you think they’ll react to our mission? Is it even a mission?”“Chasing down Vonowl?” Amaryllis said. She avoided calling him a baron, I noticed. “If they know what’s good for them, they’ll surrender him to the Harpy Mountains for justice without too much of a fuss.”“Or they might not. It’s hard to tell. We might have more luck dealing with an intermediary. There are a number of humans in the Snowlands, especially in their port cities where Endless Swell ships can come in to dock. They might be able to simplify our quest for us.”“I’m sure things will work out,” I said. “In the meantime, we’re still a couple of days out, aren’t we?”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Six — The Storm Tower
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Six -The Storm Tower The first sight of the Storm Tower wasn’t the tower itself. That was because Stormtower and the Storm Tower were two different things, confusingly named the same thing. Stormtower-one word-was a city. The Storm Tower was the big tower in its centre.As our second night away from the fleet progressed, I could slowly make out an oasis of light in the darkness of night, a spot of red and orange in the distance.My watch ended, I took a long nap, and when I woke up and returned onto the deck, the sun had risen, and that distant spot had grown much larger, but still, that wasn’t the Storm Tower. Instead, it was a small city, maybe half the size of Goldenalden with a sprawl of small homes with big gardens around them and big, wide roads crisscrossing each other.The city was without walls, though there were small towers all around it, each one thin and narrow and quite tall, with a capped roof of green copper over a lookout post.What was most interesting of all though, at least to me, was the road leading away from the city and towards the actual Storm Tower.It was a wide road that wove between large hills which could have been a six-lane highway back on Earth. On either side of it was a thin strip of homes and businesses and all sorts of buildings.It was like a long, extended city reaching out and away from the first larger city and all the way over the hills and to the coast.That’s where the Storm Tower was, right on the edge of a bay that I couldn’t see the other side of.The Storm Tower... kind of just took my breath away.A monument of stone, iron, and glass, the tower dominated the horizon. The base of it was perhaps twenty times as wide as the Beaver Cleaver was long, occupying an area best measured in dozens of acres. From this foundation, the tower soared up in a cascade of terraces and monolithic walls, rising beyond the lower wispy clouds that drifted in off the bay. Above that cloudy mantle, the tower gathered itself into a dome, which was further crowned with a narrower tower that could've rivaled Big Ben.It was practically a manmade mountain, but the sprawling complex that radiated out from its base was just as stunning. Countless interlocking buildings flooding out a kilometer in every direction, every one of them no less than ten stories in height, many of them stretching up to skyscraper level in their own right. Roads entered the complex and vanished into vaulted passages like tunnels. The original ground was long since built over, but the wooded courtyards hundreds of feet in the air felt like slabs of hills had been installed in place of some of the roofs.Buildings had been built on top of other buildings, reinforced, and then built on top of again. It all combined into an organic layer-city with no defined edge, seeming to be bursting apart at the seams. Some buildings of castle-like stone, others of glass and wrought iron, some still only shells of new construction, surrounded by a forest of scaffolding.It was clear, at a glance, that this place hadn’t been built in a day. The tallest of the towers, to the north of the Storm Tower’s main... tower part, had a skeletal structure and walls of glass. It almost looked like a modern skyscraper except this was made of wrought iron with decorative curves and its base was all interlocking stone.Further along the coast, to the south of the tower, was a second city. This one seemed less built for people and more for industry. Big factories sat next to the bay, spewing coal smoke into the air from long chimneys, and a huge port extended over the water where more traditional ships were docked.Was the reason this city was so far from the others to keep the smoke and smog away? Or were the two cities inhabited by dwarves and elves? What about that big road, with all of the homes built alongside it? And the tower! Oh, I had so many questions, but no one to ask.The air was filled with ships. Little zippy ones that flew past at blazing speeds and bigger, lumbering giants that barely looked like they were moving at all. Most of the ships circled the main tower, but a number of them hovered over the more industrial area, where I could see airship docks where stuff was being loaded on and off of waiting ships.We flew past a ship whose entire side was made of two bulbous, glass-covered cars filled with little figures on seats. At a glance it looked like they were reading newspapers or chatting. Were those air-buses?Our approach was noticed soon enough, and a small ship not much bigger than the Redemption came to a hover nearby. A small figure stood on its deck and pulled out semaphore flags to signal us.I raced to our second deck to reply, of course. They wanted to know if we had a transceiver, and when I said that we didn’t, they asked if we were there on business or Tower business.After a very quick conference with Caprica, we decided on Tower business, and the ship told us to follow them and that our berth was five-zero-one.I relayed that to Clive, but he didn’t know what it meant any more than I did. Still, we did as instructed and followed what was clearly some sort of air-traffic-direction ship closer to the tower.There was a system in place that decided who could approach and when, but we weren’t privy to whatever that system was, so we had to wait and do as told.“Whoa,” Awen said. She’d been on deck ever since we could see the city, a magic-made spyglass in hand the entire time so that she could better see what was going on and take a look at the ships we passed. Her attention, and mine, was now on the main tower. The dome at the top could slide open.It revealed that the whole of the massive tower was hollow, and the interior was lined by a circle of docks and gantries and catwalks and big cranes that could unfold from the walls to grab onto ships.I imagined that maybe the largest airships around couldn’t fit into the tower, but most of those we saw weren’t much bigger than the Beaver. And with ships of our size... Well, I imagined that the tower could hold hundreds.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.I couldn’t just stare with my jaw slack though, there was piloting to be done, and even with Clive at the wheel and everyone in top form, it wouldn’t do for the captain to slack off.As we approached the tower, a signal must have been sent by our pilot boat because a magical beam of green light appeared before the Beaver, tracing a route through the tower’s doors and into its depths.“I guess we follow that,” I said. For some reason, I hadn’t expected there to be magic around such an industrious city, but of course, there was no reason for them to abandoned magic.We moved in, going perhaps a lot slower than we could have, but slow was safe and the inside of the tower, even if it was so grand it probably had its own weather, was still a busy place.Ships were moored against the walls, loading and unloading cargo, being repaired, or just sitting and waiting. The tower’s interior was lit by big searchlights and a thousand torches hanging above the catwalks, but the space was still relatively dark compared to the bright morning sun outside. Actinic splashes of light flared up every so often, and when I looked for the source I found a team of workers with what looked like welding equipment working on a ship to one side.The space was cacophonous. Clangs of metal on metal, distant shouts, even a lot of music of a few different genres competing for loudness. Combined with all of the moving parts, and the many strange and new scents, it made for something of a sensory overload, and I found myself fighting back dizziness, so I refused to take it all in and instead focused on what was ahead of me.The various berths had numbers above them, but it wasn’t organised all that easily. The numbers seemed to correspond to a space, and that space was obviously somewhat changeable since some ships were bigger than others, and it looked as if the landing areas could change size, with the clamps and gantries and cranes all being built on huge rails pressed up against the walls that let them shift from side to side.Eventually though, the green line ahead of us led us down, and five levels off the ground-or at least the ground within the tower-floor. Clive did a bit of expert flying, spinning us around so that we could enter the berth back-first.I saw figures on the sidelines, both short and squat and tall and lithe and those inbetween, all working to adjust the space where the Beaver eventually came in for a landing. Clamps thumped gently against the ship’s hulls and Clive set the engine to idling and we pulled in all of our sails, letting the retreating clamps pull us into our mooring.Finally, once we were properly locked in place, a catwalk unfolded from the side and came to rest a pace above the rightmost deck. The end of the catwalk had a ramp which the Scallywags hurried to drop.We had arrived at Stormtower.Someone walked across the catwalk, each step eliciting a clang and a bang, so I rushed to meet them at the end of the ramp while tugging my captain’s hat on straighter.The person was... someone. I couldn’t tell if it was a dwarf or an elf. They were a bit shorter than I was, and rather on the stalky side, but they had a thin face and pointy ears, as well as thick but long hair tied up in a ponytail dangling out the back of their hardhat. He, of course, had a beard. It was a rather neatly trimmed one that only went down to his sternum, but it was clean and had a few little beads woven into it. “Greetings!” he said with a deep bass of a voice. “And welcome to the Storm Tower. Permission to come aboard?”“Hello,” I replied. “And permission granted. Welcome aboard the Beaver Cleaver.”He grinned and stepped up onto the ship. “Thank you. Are you the captain of this strange vessel?”“Oh? Yeah, that’s me. I’m captain Broccoli Bunch, this is my crew and friends,” I said with a gesture to everyone, because no one was staying below deck and missing this. “Pleased to meet you, ah, sir?”“Thorin Rootbreaker, Clerk of Landing Floor Five, at your service, captain. Now, I know my records like I know my beard, and I don’t recall a ship called the Beaver Cleaver heading to my docks today or any other day.”“Ah, that’s because we haven’t told anyone,” I said.Amaryllis stepped up and curtsied to Thorin Rootbreaker. “I’m the one who usually cares for the ship’s paperwork. I’m Amaryllis Albatross, the first mate.”Amaryllis was my first mate? I supposed she was!“Which forms do we need to fill for an impromptu landing and how much are the standard docking fees?” Amaryllis asked.“Before all that,” Thorin said. “I’m mighty curious to know what brings you here? Your ship doesn’t look fat with cargo, and that there’s a tower-made skiff you’ve got grabbed in your midships.”Amaryllis made a disgusted face. “We’re here on political business, I’m afraid. One of the Beaver’s guests is a noble who has affairs to take care of here. You know how it can be.”“Ah, I do, I do,” Thorin said. “Well, in any case, no one will be calling a Rootbreaker a penny pincher. Standard fare’s good enough. Your ship’s unusual, but not stranger than some of the hulls we see here, and besides, the berth wasn’t going to be filled for another week. That does mean you’ll be needing to find accommodations elsewhere for this ship of yours between now and then, can’t be giving away promised places.”“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” I said.“Good as iron then,” Thorin said. “The administration’s at the tower’s base.”“Thank you,” I said. “Um, Mister Rootbreaker, if we wanted to find out about another ship? Like a ship that might be docked at the tower, is there any place we could ask about it?”Thorin frowned, big bushy eyebrows meeting in the middle of his brow like two blind caterpillars bumping into each other. “Oh, sure, administration ought to be able to do that for ya. Looking for a friend?”I wouldn’t call Vonowl a friend unless his personality improved a fair bit. “Not quite. I’m just looking for someone.”“Well, good luck to ya, then. Now, will your ship be needing fuel? Provisions? Some elbow grease to get it up to snuff?”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Hustle, Bustle, Toil, & Trouble
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Hustle, Bustle, Toil, Trouble
Initially, I thought finding the baron would be somewhat easy. I don’t know why I thought that, it just felt like the kind of thing that wouldn’t be too hard.Whatever city he hid in, he’d probably insist on being in the nicest part of it. That seemed to match his personality.The problem was that I couldn’t have expected Storm Tower to be... the way it was, really.While the outer wall of the tower wasn’t all that thick, it was still filled with curving corridors, staircases that climbed up and down, and plenty of storage spaces, offices, and little break rooms.What caught my attention the most though wasn’t the strange verticality of the space, but the people within it.Dwarves were all over. Short men and women (maybe? The beards made it hard to tell. I’d have to find a way to politely ask about dwarven genders at some point) stomped about like busy bees. Next to them, and usually moving with both more speed and grace, were elves.They were tall and lithe, with chiselled, noble features and very nice chins on average. The elves weren’t in a class of their own though, or if they were, I didn’t notice it right away. Dwarf and elf worked together, and there didn’t seem to be that big of a difference in their jobs. Sure, I saw more dwarven mechanics, but there were some elves in overalls covered in grease stains as well, and while the elves looked more comfortable in their office attire, plenty of dwarves had button-up shirts open at the front so that they could stuff the tips of their beards away.“Awa, there’s so much to look at,” Awen said. Which really summed up my problem, even if she was talking more about all the ships parked away around us.“I know,” I said. “This place is enormous. And it’s not the entire city or anything, I bet the rest of the complex is even more packed with stuff and people and things.”“As far as I’m aware, the tower complex is where most of the governance is,” Caprica said. “The satellite cities are for housing and industry, respectively. Though what I read about the Storm Tower and what I’m seeing now... well, my history books didn’t do the scale of this place justice. This is a wonder of engineering.”“It’s pretty big, yeah,” I agreed. I bet someone could fit a whole Eiffel Tower in the middle of this place and still have room to park a few ships. “Where do we even start?”Amaryllis hummed. “I think we start with the obvious. We’ll go pay our docking fees, then ask about the baron’s ship. If it’s here somewhere, then all the best.”Spending time in an administration building while visiting a whole new place didn’t sound super fun, but Amaryllis was probably right about its effectiveness. So the five of us (Amaryllis, Awen, Calamity, Caprica and me) all headed out of the docks and with a few helpful directions from some locals and some time spent trying to understand the local signage, we bustled our way into a big administrative centre just off the main tower but still within the same building.There were windows overlooking a pretty view of the sea and the industrial sector just to the south of Storm Tower, but mostly we weren’t there for the view but to talk to the admin.Amaryllis took the lead, bringing out a few papers and permits which a young elf man looked over quickly. She managed to convince him that the Beaver didn’t need an inspection and that we weren’t carrying any cargo to sell, so we obviously didn’t need a cargo manifest. We were here on business, not to sell stuff.Finally, the question I was paying attention to came up. “We’re also looking for someone while we’re here,” Amaryllis said. “A harpy noble by the name of Baron Vonowl. He might have arrived here on a skiff, perhaps a day or two ago.”“Do you have any more details than that?” the admin asked. “We have skiffs aplenty here.”“It was a Snowlander ship,” Awen added. Then she rattled out a few specifications. Its balloon-size, approximate tonnage, the propeller and engine model. I didn’t know she’d gathered that much information about his ship just at a glance.Unfortunately, that didn’t really help much, at least, not until we got lucky. The admin turned as a dwarf in a suit trundled by. “Hey, have you heard of a harpy crew coming in on a Snowlander skiff lately?” he asked.The dwarf paused. “Yeah, sure, yesterday morning?”We all perked up. “Did you see them, mister dwarf?” I asked.“Mhm,” the dwarf said. “They parked in the morning and only bothered to send someone to pay the docking fees in the afternoon. Not wrong, but certainly annoying.”“What did the person who came in here look like?” I asked.“Harpy,” The dwarf said. He rubbed at his beard. “Hmm, lots of feathers. Some wings. Looked a mighty lot like that harpy sir right there.” he said while pointing to Amaryllis.“Sir? I’ll have you know I’m a woman,” Amaryllis huffed.“Ah, my pardons. Hard to tell, what with, you know.” He gestured vaguely towards his lower face, and I took it to mean that Amaryllis didn’t have a very womanly beard.“You can tell by the hips and the breasts,” the other admin said.“I’ll keep that in mind,” the dwarf replied. “In any case, just a normal harpy. Looked mighty nervous and sweaty about it though.”That didn’t sound like baron Vonowl. I suspected that if he had come here to take care of his own paperwork, he would have made sure to have everyone here knew who he was. He was... maybe not memorable, but certainly loud. “Do you know where the ship’s crew is now?” I asked. “Did they leave an address or something? They can’t be staying in their ship like we are, it’s just a skiff.”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.The admin and the dwarf talked for a bit, then the admin wandered off. We had to wait a couple of minutes, but he returned with a file that he was leafing through. “Your friend is staying at the Grand Mami Hotel," he reported, before very nicely giving us some directions.“Thank you,” I said once everything was done. “Um, one more thing, did you happen to hear anything about someone called Rainnewt?”“Rainnewt?” the admin asked. He squinted, then his eyes widened and he smiled. “Yes, he’s on that poster over there.”We all turned to see a wall off to one side that was covered in posts, local ads, and official reports for everyone to see. One of those had a rather well-drawn image of Rainnewt on it.It was right under a large label that said WANTED.I walked over to the wall and read the whole poster. Under the wanted part was the image of a serious-faced Rainnewt, and below that, the list of crimes he was wanted for. Conspiracy, theft, impersonating an officer of the law, kidnapping.There was a nice reward for his capture too.I wondered if I could cash that in. We did capture him, after all. Sure, it was across the continent from here, and he got away after, but technically...“What did he do?” I asked.The administrator shrugged. “That poster has been up there for months. I don’t know.”It seemed as if we had another little mystery on our hands. Something else to discover about Rainnewt, and probably more stuff to add to his long list of misdeeds.“We can ask more about that later, after we’ve confronted the baron,” Amaryllis said.“Maybe before,” Caprica said. We turned to her, and she crossed her arms. “We don’t have any authority here. If we walk up to the baron to confront him, there’s quite literally nothing we can do. At least legally. This isn’t like our last... legally dubious situation either. This is the capital and heart of the Snowlands. They won’t take kindly to any hostile actions.”“That makes sense,” I said. “But then, what do we do?”“Kidnap the baron?” Calamity suggested. “I’m quick with a rope. I can have him hog tied in a second or less. Then nya just have to carry him back to wherever.”“That... isn’t how it works,” Caprica said.Calamity shrugged, as if to say ‘well, I tried.’“Any options then? Other than something so evidently criminal?” Amaryllis asked.“Ask nicely?” I tried.“Yes Broccoli, but who do we ask nicely?” Amaryllis asked. “We don’t really have any connections here, do we?”“Um,” Awen said.We all turned towards Awen whose cheeks took on a cute shade of pink at the sudden attention.“I think I know someone here. Well, someone who knows someone I know. Awa, what I mean is...” she took a deep breath to recentre herself while we listened. “My uncle came here a few times, starting a long time ago, when the tower wasn’t finished being built yet. His airship is very, very old, like... one of the first, probably, and it was partially built here, though it’s had so many parts replaced that... well, nevermind. My point is, he had a bunch of friends in the Snowlands. He told me stories.”“And those friends might be willing to assist?” Caprica asked.“Maybe?” Awen tried. “There is an exploration guild here. And they probably have a club for old people.”“That isn’t a bad idea,” Amaryllis said. “It’s a place to start, at least. And the kind of old person that hangs around at the Exploration Guild is exactly the kind of person that likes getting into a bit of trouble.”“That doesn’t sound like what I envisioned at all,” Caprica said.Amaryllis sniffed. “You were expecting us to go through all the right and proper channels? Caprica, this isn’t Sylphfree, and we’re not diplomats. We don't know what the proper channels would be, or if they even exist.”“We’re troublemakers,” Calamity said with a devilish grin.I shook my head. “We’re nothing like that. Just friends trying to fix a few little problems and see some amazing stuff while we’re at it. I think Awen’s idea is the best one so far. We’ll get to meet some people who can help and then figure out where we want to go from there.”Finding the exploration guild proved surprisingly easy. I flagged down an unhurried looking dwarf in the halls outside the dock administration place, then asked them where we could find the guild.It turned out to be at the top of what locals called the ‘little tower’ which was a smaller tower built closer to the coast. That was still a very long walk away though, not that anyone minded. We got to tour the Storm Tower and play tourist as we crossed the entire massive complex.I just wished the place was a little more tourist-friendly. They really needed more signs explaining things. Like the main complex had an interior train system where people who needed to get around could hop aboard one of the moving platforms (they had benches and rails to grab onto) so that they could move around without having to walk, but we didn’t know which platform to ride on so we had to just hoof it.I didn’t mind, it meant I got to see all the strangely dressed people moving around, many of whom paused to look at us as we passed by. Also, we discovered that the locals had a thing for street food.It didn’t taste very good. Everything from the sausages they had to their drinks was super bitter and smokey. I imagined the dwarf palate wasn’t anything like a human one because I saw plenty of them enjoying their snacks.Finally, after a good bit of wandering around, we made it to the Exploration guild.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Living History
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Living History The exploration guild’s entrance was... I don’t think ‘impressive’ really covered it. The guild’s entrance was to one side of a huge, long room that reminded me a little of a subway station, with an arched ceiling covered in little tiles and two lanes of interior train tracks for the trolleys people seemed so fond of in here.There were plenty of shops and workstations and offices pressed into the sides, but the Exploration Guild’s entrance towered above them. The entire wall had huge pillars next to a double door so massive you could march an army through it.My friends and I stepped into the guild proper, a little cowed by how vast everything was within. The floor was all huge squares of beautifully swirling marble and the entrance hall had golden plinths that stopped at waist-height to display all sorts of things. Adventuring tools, strange statues, little objects whose use I couldn’t guess at.The hall echoed with our footsteps, and I wondered why the sounds from the main halls of the tower weren’t carrying in. Magic of some sort? That wouldn’t surprise me, this place felt magical. There were huge maps on the walls, paintings of strange places, ancient-looking artefacts, and...I stared, drifting to a stop. Amaryllis realized I was no longer with her, and turned back, only to stare as well. Then Awen followed our gazes, only to jerk back in shock, and by that point even Calamity and Caprica had turned to see what all the fuss was about.Hanging in pride of place on a wall, enclosed in a frame made of dark wood engraved with intricate little flower patterns, was a painting of six men. I recognized two of them right away even if I hadn’t seen them in a while. To the left was a grenoil gentleman, head tilted back, spectacles perched on the end of his broad nose.Raynold, who I had last seen in the company of...“Uncle Abraham?!” Awen squeaked.I don’t think it was seeing an oil painting of her uncle that shocked her so much as it was the fact that in the painting her uncle, and all the other men with him, were shirtless.The Abraham in the picture was a lot younger than the man I remembered. He had a few grey hairs at the temples, but his hair, including the bristly bush covering his upper chest, was mostly the same blonde as Awen’s.Next to him was a young harpy who looked slender, especially compared to the barrel-chested dwarf flexing next to him. At the far end of the image was a tall elf with his arms raised above his head, biceps bulging, and below that elf a sylph gentleman who looked to be working hard to make his abs stand out.“Wow,” Amaryllis said.“I can feel the testosterone,” I said.“That there’s some fine-looking specimens,” Calamity agreed. “But, ah, what’s got Awen all bothered?”“That’s her uncle,” I said while pointing to Abraham.“Really?” Calamity asked. He looked between Awen and her uncle. “I guess the hair matches but the old man’s got a bit more muscle to him.”“I guess,” I said. I tilted my head to the side to examine the painting from a different angle. It was really striking. Behind them was a big cliffside and a coastline that seemed familiar. Something was being built atop the cliff. “Maybe we should get an oil painting done of our group too,” I said.“Broccoli, if you suggest that we do it shirtless I’m going to have words with you,” Amaryllis said.Awen walked up to the frame, then squinted at a plaque set at its base. “Abraham Bristlecone, Raynold Weatherwick, Wesley Vonowl, Tharval Boltbinder, Willowbud Wintersdawn, Eustace Mountainstorm.”“Vonowl?” I asked, my attention snapping to the harpy in the painting. When I saw the baron he was clothed, but it was still pretty clear that this wasn’t the baron, though... maybe there was some family resemblance, the harpy in the painting had brown-white plumage and rather big , the same as the Vonowl we were chasing. It was possible they were related.“That’s... a strange coincidence,” Caprica said. “Eustace Mountainstorm... the Mountainstorm family are lesser nobles in Sylphfree. I think they were big supporters of the Exploration Guild in the past, but I’ve never heard of this Eustace. How long ago was this made?”“Is that the Storm Tower in the background?” Amaryllis asked.I looked at the background again, then nodded. “Yeah, yeah, the coast looks right. Except, well, there’s no tower, just the foundation.”“So, this was made before the tower was finished, which doesn’t help in dating it as much as you might think, a project this big could take decades,” Caprica said.“Awa, Uncle Abraham has white hair, and his moustache is... more. Um, he went off to have big adventures a long time ago, so this could be forty years old, or more,” Awen said.That was a while ago. “No airships,” I said as I looked at the sky in the painting.“Airships are older than forty years,” Amaryllis said. “But the business isn’t that old. Trust me, I’d know that much.”My friends quieted down and stood straighter as an elf wandered over. He was in a button-up shirt and vest and looked properly respectable. “Hello, can I assist you?” he asked. His eyes lingered on the lapels on my and Amaryllis' chests. “Oh, you’re members of the guild? The Deepmarsh branch?”“We are,” I said with a grin. “We’re here looking for information, but then we got distracted by, ah, that.” I gestured to the painting.“The founding fathers?” the elf asked.“They started the guild?” I asked. “Whoa! That’s cool.”“They did, indeed,” the elf said. “There are a few books and biographies that cover the history of the Exploration Guild, if you wish.”I nodded, that would be kind of cool. I didn’t expect the guild I joined more or less on a whim to have much of a history, but I should have. Pretty much everything has a history.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.Awen raised a hand. “Is there a biography of Uncle Abraham?” she asked.The elf blinked. “Uncle Abraham?”“Awa!” Awen said. “That’s my uncle,” she said while pointing to the painting. “I... didn’t expect to see anything like this here.”“Hey, are any of the other founding fathers here?” I asked. It would be nice to meet them, I figured. Maybe they’d have stories about Abraham that Awen could listen to? Her uncle was a great storyteller, but his stories were always very... spectacular.“Certainly, in the lounge on the fourth floor,” the elf said. “Are all of you members?”“Only Amaryllis and I,” I said. “Can the others come as guests?”“Certainly. You’ll merely have to sign in to our guestbook. And of course, I’ll need to see your information as well.”We moved through the entrance hall and to the front where there was a counter and, to the side, an elevator with a wrought-iron cage and a complicated lever-based mechanism next to it. The elf accompanying us pulled out a guest book, and stepped aside for the others to sign it.He watched as Awen signed her name, then nodded, then Caprica did the same and finally Calamity.That’s when things went a little weird. The book rattled once Calamity was done signing, and his name turned red, the ink hissing and spitting. “Uh,” Calamity said.“Please sign your true name, Mister... Calamity Danger,” the elf suggested.Calamity glared. “But that’s my name, isn’t it?”The elf smiled. “You can use whichever name you wish, but we would prefer it if you wrote your birth name here.”Calamity grumbled, grabbed the pen, then wrote another name down. Curiosity got the best of me and I stretched up to read the name he’d placed. Claire Dogfriend.“Um,” I said.“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he muttered.I shrugged. “Okay, Calamity.”He nodded once, and then stalked towards the elevator and the rest of us followed. The elevator rose up slower than I could crawl, but I supposed it was still pretty novel. My friends seemed amused by it, Awen most of all. “I wonder if it works with a counterweight, or if it’s all engine power. Oh, and look at those tabs on the side. It looks like they’re designed to brake the elevator’s fall if it fails.”We crossed the second floor, which looked like an office floor, with a bunch of desks laid out and staffed by dwarves and elves, then the third floor, which looked like something between an armoury and a blacksmith’s shop.Finally, we arrived on the fourth floor, which had another small lobby with a long corridor. A floorplan on one wall suggested that many of the rooms were conference rooms and planning spaces, but the biggest space was taken up by a lounge and bar.“You mentioned knowing someone here,” Amaryllis said to Awen.“Only from uncle’s stories,” she said. “He talked about a dwarf called Bolty and an elf called Buddy.”“That must be Tharval Boltbinder and Willowbud Wintersdawn from that painting,” Caprica said.“That’s what I was thinking too,” Awen said. “Uncle likes his nicknames. It annoys a certain kind of person, and makes easier friends with another sort. At least, that’s what he told me.”“That’s a cute trick,” I said. “But I wouldn’t want to anger anyone... although, you’re all my friends already... so.”“Don’t start giving us nicknames, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“We call Broccoli, Broc, sometimes,” Awen said.“Yes, but she might start getting creative with our nicknames,” Amaryllis said. “And that’s the last thing anyone wants.”I giggled. “Didn’t your sister call you Amy?”“Amy is fine,” Amaryllis said with a serious nod. “But nothing past that.”“Prickly,” Caprica muttered.“Do you want her calling you Capy?”Caprica flinched. “I don’t think I’d ever allow someone to call me that, no.”“Not even Bastion?” I asked.Caprica’s face shifted, her expression dropping to something entirely neutral that wouldn’t give away her feelings while also turning tomato-red.“Ah, I’m sorry,” I said as I pulled her into a side-hug. “I didn’t mean to tease you too hard.”Amaryllis patted Caprica on the back.We arrived at the lounge while Caprica was still steaming in embarrassment. The place was closed off by a large pair of double-doors that we pushed open to reveal a great big room with glossy wooden floors, a floor-to-ceiling bookcase to one side with a few dozen chairs all around. The far wall had a big fireplace with a roaring fire within, and there was a bar against another wall. The exterior wall was all windows, with a spectacular view of the northern coast and part of the bigger tower to the east.A few heads rose at our arrival. Mostly older men and women, but a few people closer to our age were sitting at the bar.I felt a little awkward as my friends and I lingered by the entrance and kind of just stood there, uncertain of where to go for the moment. Still, I was the nominal leader, so social stuff was my job, wasn’t it? “Ah, hello everyone!” I said. “We’re looking for some people called Bolty and Buddy?”There was a long pause, then a roar of laughter from one side where a big stout dwarf was lounging in the depths of a recliner. He shuffled out of the seat until he was right on the edge and smacked a hand on his knee. “Who gave you that name, missy?” he asked.“Ah,” I began.“Um, my uncle did,” Awen said. “Abraham, Abraham Bristlecone.”The dwarf bounced off his seat. “Bud! Did you hear that?”“I heard,” a familiar elf said. He looked just like the elf in the oil painting. “I’m not deaf, you old dwarf.”“I’m not old, you decrepit treehugger,” the dwarf snapped back. Then he grinned wide. “Come over here, I need to take a good look at the lot of ya! And you need to tell me how Abe’s doing!”
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Cinnamon Bun Volume Four is Out!
It's available in audio, ebook, and paperback! You can find it... here:https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B0BK26CB6B
Broccoli Bunch and her best buds embark on a quest to make more friends, have fun, and stand up against the forces of darkness.The crew of the airship Beaver Cleaver are willing to follow Broccoli Bunch wherever she may lead them—a grand gesture of love and loyalty for someone who’s only been their captain for a week. They admire her ability to resolve conflicts and forge friendships under even the most dire and dangerous of circumstances, as well as her courage on the battlefield against those who threaten all that is good in the world.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.On their latest adventure, Broccoli and her friends Amaryllis, Awen, and the sylph paladin Bastion must cleanse a dungeon of its Evil Roots. Weeding out the sinsiter plant requires our heroes to wander labyrinthine corridors, fight off vicious monsters, and keep the self-proclaimed hero cervid Emmanuel Aldelain von Chadsbourne, who insisted on joining them, from wreaking havoc with every reckless move he makes.But magically cleaning up a dungeon is child’s play compared to what awaits Broccoli and her companions as they fight sky pirates over a penal colony island and rally opposing armies to battle a monstrous dragonkin amphiptere. It’s all in a day’s work!The fourth volume of the hit LitRPG fantasy series—with more than seven million views on Royal Road—now available on Audible and wherever ebooks are sold!
Cinnamon Bun — Bonus Story: In Which Broccoli Scares Some Children
Cinnamon Bun — Bonus Story: In Which Broccoli Scares Some Children “I wanna play pirates,” Lana whined.Ray scoffed, hands on his hips and nose turned up, just the way his dad did. “You always want to play pirates,” he said.“Well, we have to play something,” she grumbled.He shook his head at her and looked around for a moment before turning back to her and saying, "We could play explorers and bandits.""No," Lana blurted out immediately. The last time they played explorers and bandits, Ray got so mad when someone didn't do as expected that he punched her in the stomach. His mom had grounded him for two weeks because of it. She was still sulking over it.Themoid grunted and tugged at his beard. It wasn't a very long one, only reaching to his sternum, but he was really proud of it."What about wizards?" He asked after another minute of them all sitting around thinking.“How do you play wizards?” Lana asked. Her long ears twitched though, which meant she was at least a little interested.Ray grinned. “It’s easy! We need staffs, and cloaks, and then we go around and find bad guys and cast spells at them.”“I don’t know any spells,” Lana grumped.“I’ll teach you!”A few minutes later, the trio were rushing through the Storm Tower with blankets tied around their necks and long sticks in hand. Themoid had opted to use a metal pole because ‘If’n I’m gonna be a wizard then I’m gonna be a proper dwarfish one.’The only spells Ray knew were really simple things that his mom had shown him, and most took a lot of concentration to cast. Stuff like light balls and a spell to light candles (that his mom made him promise he wouldn’t use to light the house on fire) and a few others. When it came time to teach Lana though, he showed her his most useless spell of all.“Hrrng wah!” Lana said as she cast her spell. Her face went red to the tip of her ears and she looked like she was on the verge of pooping herself. Still, the spell came out as a fizzly ball that wobbled ahead and splattered against some scuffs on one of the walls. “I did it!” Lana cheered as the stain lessened a little.“Wow,” Ray said. He made sure to inject enough sarcasm that even Lana would catch on. “What a powerful wizard you are.”“Hey!” Lana shot back. She pointed her wand (A rolling pin without the roller) right at him. “You take that back!”“Okay. I won’t say you’re powerful then,” he said before grinning. “You’re super weak.”Lana cast ‘rolling pin’ on his head next, and Ray ran away laughing while rubbing at the spot she’d hit him on.Their fun and games came to an abrupt end though, when they rounded a corner and came upon another group of kids.Thimmy, Thocks, and their leader and Ray’s rival, Becky.“Oh no,” Themoid said from just behind Ray. Lana caught up too, and in a show of solidarity, came to stand behind him too... after poking him in the small of the ribs with the end of her rolling-pin-wand.“Well, well,” Becky said. She crossed her arms and turned her nose up at them. “Look what crawled out of the sewer pipes.”Becky was a year older than Ray and wouldn’t let him forget how much more mature and cool that made her. She also lived a block above the housing area where Ray, Lana and Themoid lived. They shouldn’t have gone up the stairs to this floor of the tower, he realized too late. But this was the floor with the most open spaces (where the adults wouldn’t yell at them to get out of the way).He glared at her, then unleashed his best, highest level (Rank C already!) skill at her... Identify.Rebekah FirerootSchoolyard toughBeetle crusherHe gulped. His identify gave people titles that told him about them, and Becky had gotten a new one since the last time he’d looked.Thimmy RockcoreSmart as RocksThock RockcoreThe BraidedHomegrown Tinkerer“At least the sewer pipes are warm,” Ray said. He opened his mouth, then hesitated. He wasn’t sure how to end that insult.“So you did come from the sewers?” Becky said. She grinned. “That explains the smell, right boys?”Her two companions nodded, and they both made a show of covering their mouths with their beards, even Thocks, whose beard was all braided up on account of her being a girl and all.“That’s not true!” Lana shouted back. “If there was a stink I’d clean it up because I’m the great cleaning wizard... Lana... uh... Lanarious the Great!”“That’s a lame name,” Thock said.“You’re a lame name,” Lana fired back.That was one point for their side, and it wasn’t even Ray who’d gotten it. He resisted the urge to grumble. It didn’t WORD an elf to grumble. “What were you even doing, Becky?” he asked.“I should ask you that,” Becky said. “We were going to play pirates.”He scoffed. “That’s boring. We have a much better game than that.”“Oh yeah?” she asked. “Does it involve stealing people’s dirty towels?”He glared. “These are wizard’s cloaks! We’re wizards. And you guys are bandits!” He raised his staff (a stick he’d gotten from outside the tower last fall) and cast his best spell across the gap between their groups. It was a Water Gathering spell he’d learned that pulled water out of the air. He’d figured out how to twist that mana just right to turn it into a big spray....Well, in reality, he hadn’t figured out how to cast the spell without it being a spray, but he was still working on it.Becky gasped as she was sprinkled with lukewarm water. “Oh, it’s on! Come on, we’re gonna beat them till their beards fall off!”“Yeah!” Thimmy and Thocks cheered.“Oh, look Amaryllis! There’s little elf and dwarf kids, and they’re playing together!”Both sides paused mid-charge (Ray was pretty much out of mana, so he was going to resort to the wizardly tactic of bashing things with his stick) and turned to stare at a group of newcomers.He gulped.These weren’t locals, he knew that right away. The group had five members, and he didn’t recognize a single one.At the back was a strange man with beige fur instead of skin. He looked a little like a cat, and had a bow in a sheath over his shoulder and a strange hat on with holes on the top for his long, cat-like ears.Calamity DangerCrackshotBig game hunterDragon-like monster stalkerBlahajistNine LivesFriend of the Great PlainsHe blinked. He hadn’t seen so many titles except on the few times he used his skill on some guards or explorers. That guy had to be some sort of hunter!He glanced at the next one at the back, a shorter woman (he was almost as tall!) in a red uniform. She had wings! Big semi-translucent things that made her look like a fairy. They fluttered a little as she looked over Ray and his friends (and also Becky) with a look that didn’t seem very impressed.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.Caprica SylphStowaway PrincessMilitary MindBastion HeartedExpert ManipulatorAspiring Sugar MommyKnightly ManneredHighborn Bastion of the PeopleSecret SoftyA princess? No, no, sometimes his skill was a little bit wrong about some stuff. It could exaggerate a little.He turned his attention to what might have been an elf... but no, she was too short, and she moved a hand up to hook her blonde hair behind an ear that was notably not pointed.Awen BristleconeBunnygirl AdmirerWillingly Kidnapped PrincessMad TinkererAirship RepairerStammering MessDragonmakerLesbiamLes bienLessbienUselessWhat was up with her titles. And what was a... he squinted. Whatever that was. He’d ask his mom later, he decided. He also wondered why anyone would keep someone around if they were useless, that was strange.He turned to one of the other members, probably the strangest looking in the whole bunch.“Ray, look, it’s a bird!” Lana said while pointing her wand at the strange person.She was a bird. With white wings and a bunch of feathers for hair, and she didn’t look impressed at all.Amaryllis AlbatrossTsundere PrincessAirship MagnateSkybornReluctant AdvisorMagical ProdigyA-Rank MageHufferDungeon ExplorerThunderously OpinionatedHe blinked. Explorer? Then he noticed the pin clasp to the front of her leather jacket. She was a member of the Explorations Guild! That made a lot more sense now. No wonder the whole group looked so strong.“Hello!” the one at the front said. She was smiling big and wide, and Ray felt his attention gravitating towards her, then he felt his cheeks warming up. She had a smile that made his heart constrict, and when she gave them all a little wave he felt his tummy doing strange things. It was like looking at a bucketfull of kittens but as a person.He shook it off and really looked at her. She was taller, with big ears, one of which looked a big droopy, and a blue armoured dress with a cuirass over it. Maybe Themoid would know more about her armour, he was into that kind of thing.Broccoli BunchSlime GenociderBattle BunDangerously AdorableThe CleanserAirship CaptainSkypriveteerDignity DestroyerStrange TravelerS-ranked MageExplorer of the UnknownBefriender of the EldritchDragon FriendRoot RipperRay felt his heart skip a beat, but for an entirely different reason. Nevermind that this girl was kind of cute (he’d think on that later, dangit!) she was one of the most dangerous people he’d ever seen. What kind of horrible things would someone have to do to get so many titles?“Hi miss!” Lana said. “I like your ears!”Broccoli grinned. “Thank you! I like your ears too!” She pulled her hair back to reveal... human ears? Then she wiggled them with her fingers. “Only half of mine are pointy though.”“Ohh, cool!”“See Amaryllis, I’m cool!”“Hmm, yes, you can impress children, congratulations, that’s a high bar for you.” the harpy lady said.Broccoli squatted down in front of them. “Hey little guys and girls. Were you playing?”“Yeah!” Lana said, and Thimmy and Thock nodded along. “We’re playing wizards.”“Oh, that’s cool!” Broccoli said. “Show me your magic, I want to see!”Lana nodded, then focused hard and cast a spell at the ground between them. The weak magic sputtered out and barely succeeded in erasing a scuff from the floor.Ray and Becky both chuckled.“Was that cleaning magic?” Becky asked. “Wow, lame.”“Hey now,” Broccoli said.For some reason the group of explorers, bun-aside, though that was hilarious.“Cleaning magic isn’t so bad! It’s actually pretty great,” Broccoli said.“Yes, do try to convince literal children that your magic is great, we’ll wait,” Amaryllis said.“Awa, it’s okay, Broccoli, I think your magic is... useful,” Awen said.Broccoli pouted, and Ray found his tummy doing flips again. “Fine. Hey, little girl, want to see what you can really do with Cleaning magic?”“Okay?” Lana said.Broccoli grinned, then her eyes narrowed and she concentrated really hard. Ray wasn’t sure what was going through her head for a moment as her ears drooped and she focused on something they couldn’t see.Then, with a rush of magic that he felt pushing through and past him, the bun unleashed a powerful spell.He felt his skin tingling, and when he blinked, he saw that the entire room sparkled. Literally. The lights were brighter-probably because the glass around the flames looked brand new-and the tiles on the ground looked almost new. Even the air tasted different. More sharp, fresh, and without the faint lingering odour of that came from so many people living in one huge building.“Whoa!” Lana said.“See, I’m cool!”Calamity, the catguy, grinned. “Are we going to spend the rest of the day entertaining kids?” he asked. “Because I have this neat trick where I shoot a coin out of the air at twenty paces.”“No, we will not be doing that,” Amaryllis said. “If you’re done wasting mana and saving the Storm Tower’s cleaning budget, maybe we should move on.”“Ah, right, just one thing,” Broccoli said. She turned back to Ray and his friends. “Hey, guys, would you mind catsitting for me? One of my best friends, Orange, is just sitting on our airship doing nothing, and I imagine she’d love to have some company. What do you say?”Ray thought that sounded pretty fun. He liked cats as much as anyone, and the others seemed to think that was a good idea.So Broccoli channeled some magic, and out of thin air, a cat appeared. It stayed in the air, floating there like cats shouldn’t. “This is Orange! Please take good care of her for me, please!”Orange didn’t seem to be a very happy cat. She turned and stared at the lot of them and looked very unimpressed.Orange BunchThe WatcherGrand Admiral of SylphfreeMousebaneThe RatkillerBroccoli’s MasterOwner of the Beaver CleaverHeart of a TigerThe NaptakerClive’s FriendThe MilkdrinkerExtremely PettableRay gulped and watched as Lana took hold of the floating cat and snuggled it close. The others started petting it, which the cat endured with stoic, unwavering pride.He just stood aside and watched as the explorers said their goodbyes and wandered off.What kind of madpeople had they just run into?
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Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Passing the Torch
Chapter Three Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Passing the Torch Chairs were pulled up, cushions were fluffed, and the old dwarf shouted across the room to the barkeep who brought us all big mugs of frothing ale.I held onto my mug politely while it fizzed and sat myself down across from what I imagined were some of Abraham’s old adventuring buddies.“So!” the dwarf said. “We’re all sitted and we’ve got some talking juice. Introductions are in order.”“Civilised as ever,” the elf said. He bowed a little from his seat. “I’m Willowbud Wintersdawn. Miss Bristlecone, I was one of your uncle’s companions on his many travels throughout the Snowlands and beyond. The dwarf here is Tharval Boltbinder.”“I can introduce myself, Bud,” Tharval said. He took a long pull from his mug-or was it a pint?-then wiped the froth from his bristly moustache with the back of his sleeve. “But the elf’s not wrong. We were both good pals with Abe. Why, it feels like he ran off to another great adventure just yesterday.”“Awa, when did you last see uncle?” Awen asked. She took a long pull from her mug, matching Tharval.I looked at my own beer, then gave it a sniff. It smelled bitter and tangy. Not necessarily a bad smell, but a bit strange and spicy. Not in the ‘hot’ sense, but in the sense that there were a number of spices mixed into the beer.Shoring up my bravery, I took a big gulp, then both coughed and spat at the same time. It was so bitter! I noticed Amaryllis hiding her smile behind a sip of her own mug. Calamity, meanwhile, was drinking along at a decent pace.I think Caprica was the only one who agreed with my tastebuds about the beer’s flavour.Tharval laughed, both at my reaction, and I think just out of sheer good humour. “Ah, the last time I saw Abe... was it two years back, Bud?”“Already?” Willowbud asked. He leaned back, then nodded. “Yes, it would be the summer before last. He brought that ugly ship of his in for repairs.”“The Shady Lady’s a fine vessel,” Tharval said.“It was outdated before it left the shipyard that built it,” the elf retorted. “It’s a wonder it can fly at all, especially with Abraham at the helm.”“She’s a beauty, a piece of aeronautical history,” Tharval argued.Willowbud nodded. “Exactly. She belongs in a museum.”“Ah, I got to fly on the Shady Lady a few times,” Awen said. “And I worked on her a little. There was always something broken.”“That’s because Abe couldn’t keep his toenails fixed, nevermind an entire airship!” Tharval guffawed. He clapped a hand on his lap while tipping his tankard back. “Ahh, but those were the days. Back before we were stuck in this windy old tower, when we wandered the world looking for trouble.”“And causing trouble when we couldn’t find it,” Willowbud said. He grinned, and something about the smile aged him a bit, gave him more of an edge. “We still have something of a reputation, even after a few years of sitting on our laurels and reaping the benefits of our... what were they calling it? Youthful indiscretions?”“Bah! Don’t remind me,” Tharval said. “Besides, we’ve got these impressionable kids to impress, don’t we?” He reached over, swiped my mug, and took a swig of it. I didn’t complain.Awen swallowed a mouthful of her own beer, then smiled. “Um, what sort of things did you do with uncle Abraham? He used to tell me stories, but I never knew which ones were, uh, real. I think he softened them a little because I was young.”Willowbud hummed. “That sounds like Abe, yes. You could never tell if he was being truthful or not. He’d say the most farfetched things and then they’d turn out to be entirely true, even if they sounded wild. Why, I remember, he once approached me and Eustace about a colony of snow dryads in the western Tallwoods who needed help because of a cave-in.”“Oh, I remember that,” Tharval said. “Ain’t that how we met?”“It was, yes,” Willowbud said.I moved to the very edge of my seat. “What happened?” I asked.“Let me do the telling, Bud here could bore through a metre of stone with his voice alone,” Tharval said. “So, here Abe comes, with this strange frog man, a reedy little harpy boy and a runaway sylph knight-”“No, Wesley joined us later,” Willowbud said. “And Raynold was busy with something else. That ... lizard cult incident.”“Anyway,” Tharval ignored him. “He comes over to us deep in the Snowlands. Now, this was just after us elves and dwarves finally got our heads on straight and decided to stop murdering each other over dumb insults.”“A regular occurance,” Willowbud said.Tharval chuckled. “So Abe shows up and he starts asking around for help with these snow dryads. Mostly asking the elves since they’re the local experts when it comes to hugging trees.”“Of course,” Willowbud interjected. “Snow dryads were a myth. Everyone knew they didn’t exist, so Abe sounded like a lunatic. But he managed to convince me to help him anyway.”“Bud here was running away from a marriage,” Tharval said with a chuckle. He looked at his tankard and saw that it was empty, then he leaned over and took Caprica’s. “Oi! Someone get this sylph lady some of that sweet elven wine,” he called out to the bar. “And some fruit juice for the bun.”Willowbud glanced to Tharval. “That’s awfully considerate. You’re not going to force them to drink your usual dwarven swill?”“Bah, you remember how Eustace used to complain about everything us proper folk cooked up? If it isn’t slathered in honey the sylph won’t touch it.”I held back a giggle at Caprica’s conflicted look. I think she couldn’t decide whether to agree or take insult. In the end she rolled her eyes slightly and didn’t comment at all, especially not when a younger elf came from the bar with a fine crystal goblet for Caprica and a big cup of what smelled like a strawberry-banana smoothie for me. It even had a straw!“So, ah, what happened after Abraham asked you for help?” I asked.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“Ah, right. So he asks this mulch-for-brains for help,” Tharval said with a gesture to Willowbud. “And he had the first good idea of his entire life. That is, to find an expert. Now, that turned out to be me.”“Tharval here had just been kicked out of his guild for accumulating too many misdemeanours and was hard-pressed and looking for work,” Willowbud said.Tharval harrumphed. “They said that it would take a thousand years of development to make an airship. And I said that they were a bunch of rock-headed morons. Anyway, Abe comes over and hired me to go look for these snow dryads. To be honest, I thought he was crazy, but he was also mighty persuasive and, in any case, I needed the coin. I didn't much care if he thought the moon was made of cheese, so long as I got paid." Tharval laughed. "I was pretty shocked when I got out to the site, and there they were, a whole town of snow dryads living underground."“I didn’t know dryads could live underground,” I said. I remembered Oak and a few of the other dryads I’d met, and they seemed pretty happy to live outside like trees usually did. Did they even eat anything?“Snow dryads, as it turns out, are more based on fungal bodies than the dryads we’re all mostly familiar with,” Willowbud said. “They live in large caves beneath the Tallwoods, where they carefully tend pools of water to keep the humidity as high as possible, allowing them to cultivate lichen that they use for clothes and tools. They’re quite interesting, though they’re also very quiet and isolationist. So it’s no wonder we thought them a myth.”“And uncle Abraham found them?” Awen asked.“More like they found him,” Tharval said. “Or was it Eustace?”“It was Eustace, yes. He and Abraham were exploring the edge of the Tallwoods when Eustace went off-course. He ran into some snow dryads, and eventually they managed to ask him for help. In any case, the dryads had a problem.”“A cave-in,” Thorval said, quite seriously. “They weren’t keen on digging often, so most of their cave homes were all natural. But even a natural cave needs some proper reinforcement. One of their tunnels collapsed and a number of ‘em were stuck. Fortunately, they’re dryads, and standing still for a few days doesn’t bother them all that much.”“So, how does the story end?” I asked.“Bah. I went over and blew the hole open with some explosives. After we chopped up some trees and built trusses, of course. Didn’t want to worsen things. It all ended well. I think some folk are still keeping in touch with the snow dryads, aren’t they?”Willowbud nodded. “A few. They make interesting fermented wines and are experts at growing certain mushrooms in their caverns. They’re difficult to trade with, since there’s little they want or need, but a few academics make a point to stay in touch and study their environment.”“Ah, did you join uncle from then on?” Awen asked.“Join? Bah, he hardly has a monopoly on anyone, does he? The madman just likes dragging like-minded folk into his schemes, but we dragged him into ours just as often.” Tharval grinned. “What about you lot? Dragging folk around into trouble just like your uncle, huh?”Awen started to shake her head, then froze. “Um. No, we’re just trying to help people and that, ah, sometimes means we end up in strange places.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “We’re three-quarters of the way to circling the entire continent already! We made a heap of friends along the way, and we helped some people with things too. Plus we get to explore new places. It’s great!”
Thorval grinned. “Been on a few little adventures yourself, huh?”
My friends and I nodded. “Yup! Right now we’re tracking someone called Baron Vonowl. He helped a terrible person kidnap some nobles and used that as a way to try to free that terrible person after we got them arrested in Sylphfree. He tried to blow up a peace summit to start a war between the Trenten Flats, the Harpy Mountains, Deepmarsh and Sylphfree.”Tharval and Willowbud both blinked as they parsed all of that, then Tharval took another swallow from his tankard. “Well, that’s something. This Baron Vonowl, any relation to Wesley Vonowl?”We shrugged, but it was Amaryllis who answered. “We don’t know. But we suspect so. It might be a situation like Awen here being related to Abraham. A nephew or younger cousin, maybe?”Willowbud rubbed at his chin. “That’s possible. Wesley passed away... about four years ago. He was... well, harpies age a lot faster than elves or dwarves.”“Hmm, Eustace moved on too,” Tharval said, his voice rather grave. “We lose friends as we go. But most of us made sure to leave a legacy behind.” He gestured around. “This guild, the Storm Tower, so many new ideas and fresh ties and opportunities for the next generation. Bah. What’s it matter. You’re looking for this Vonowl fellow, yeah?”“Yeah,” I repeated.“Might be that we can help you,” Tharval said. “We might be semi-retired, but that doesn’t mean we’re so old that we can’t jump onto an adventure or two.”Willowbud smiled. “That’ll set some nerves alight, seeing the two of us looking for trouble again.”“Good! We can even blame Abraham for it, like in the good old days!” Tharval said.“Awa, you blamed uncle Abraham for stuff?” Awen asked.“Oh yes, he’s a wanted man here,” Tharval said. He grinned. “He’s responsible for the greatest theft ever to occur in the Snowlands, something he somehow did while halfway across the continent.”“We really ought to give those paintings back,” Willowbud said. I followed his gaze across the room to where a row of paintings in nice frames hung on the far wall. “No one will bother him for it,” Willowbud reassured Awen. “After all, he can easily prove that he wasn’t here when the crime happened.”“Mhm,” Tharval said. “Now... I’m getting the sense that you want our help for your trouble, which means payment.” He smacked his knee. “And I only accept payment in stories. Now spill! What have Abraham’s niece and her friends been up to?”
* * *
Broccoli Claus
Broccoli Claus “No Broccoli, it’s a stupid idea,” Amaryllis said.Broccoli looked at Amaryllis and tried to blink away the tears in her eyes.“No,” Amaryllis insisted.“But,” Broccoli said. Her lower lip wobbled.“Awa, I think it’s a nice idea?” Awen said.Amaryllis pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she said.“Yay!” Broccoli cheered, then she glomped Amaryllis for good measure. “I’m gonna be Santa Claus!”
* * *
Little Timmy woke up to use the washroom and was on his way back to the room he shared with his brothers when he heard something in the living room. Frowning and rubbing some gunk out of his eyes, he stumbled over to see what was going on.That’s how, by the light of a candle held in one hand, he saw a butt sticking out of his fireplace.“Uh,” he said.The butt squirmed a little, and he noted that it was wearing a red, velvety outfit and had a fur lining.No, wait, he realized that wasn’t a fur lining, that was just a poofy white tail.The butt wiggled, then with a pop, the person attached to said butt thumped out of the fireplace and onto the floor, followed by a cloud of ashes. They coughed, then waved their hand, and all at once the ashes and soot covering their red and white outfit disappeared. “Well, that worked better in my head,” the strange figure said.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!They stood, and Little Timmy realized that they had a large, very fake, beard attached to their face and a pointy red cap which seemed to be wriggling of its own accord.Really, he should have been yelling for his parents or the guard, but this was so strange that he wasn’t sure how to react.Just then, the figure noticed him and froze up. “Ah,” the said before looking very conspicuously to the left and right. “H-hey there,” they said. “Do you want some presents?”“What?” Little Timmy asked.The figure grinned, and after reaching into the fireplace, they tugged out a large bag. Then, they dove into the bag and came out with an armful of wrapped boxes that were just a little bit squished.“Have you been good this year?” the strange person asked.“I’ve been alright,” Timmy admitted.“... good enough! Here, one for you, and one for each of your siblings!” They placed down the presents, then patted their rather flat stomach with an ‘oh-ho-ho!’“Uh... thank you?” Timmy wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not.“Okay... uh... nice meeting you. I hope you won’t lose the sense of wonder if I use the front door to leave?”“Go ahead?” Timmy asked.“Thanks!”And so the figure picked up their slightly-less-large bag and ambled out.Timmy looked at the present in his hands, then he pinched himself.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy — Boltbound
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy — Boltbound “And then,” I said, having to speak up a little over Tharval’s hooting laughter. The dwarf was a great listener. Well, no, he kept interrupting and liked to add his own tall tales to the mix, but he was a great audience, which counted for a lot when telling a story. “Then we went to meet these grenoil mafia people, and they were quite mean. We ended up scuffling with them in the streets, but Cholondee landed right next to us.”“And that’s how the dragon ended up ruling the city’s underground?” Willowbud asked. He wasn’t as boisterous or loud, but he was still attentive, and I think a little bit drunk, judging by the rosiness of his cheeks.I nodded. “Yeah! I don’t know what’s happened since, but I haven’t heard of Port Royal burning down or anything, so it can’t be that bad.”“That’s a good sign,” Tharval said with a nod. He was tipsy too, with ruddy cheeks and a bright red nose, but he wasn’t slurring his words any, even though the floor next to his seat was a sea of empty tankards. He must have drunk his weight in beer already.Willowbud grinned. “You girls, and sir, seem to have been on your share of adventures.”“We’ve only been adventuring for a couple of months,” Awen said. “I don’t know if we’ve had time to really, ah, get into the spirit of it the way uncle has.”“Bah, it’s not the time spent adventuring that matters, it’s the experience of it!” Tharval said. “You judge the quality of an adventure by people saved, discoveries made, and number of angry noblefolk.”I giggled at that. “Is that how you calculate things here?”“I doubt they can codify it accurately,” Amaryllis said.“What?” Tharval said. “No! Of course we can. ‘People saved’ is easy to verify most of the time, ‘discoveries’ are obvious, and we keep a record of who’s gotten the most angry letters written about them.”“And news articles, of course,” Willowbud said.Amaryllis shook her head. “Won’t that undermine the Exploration Guild in the Snowlands?”“Bah! The real people of the Snowlands know that it’s all a big game for us. The nobles will spit and bluster and complain, and for every big complaint they make, another toast is raised in every pub across the nation.”“What Tharval means to say,” Willowbud said. “Is that the Exploration Guild, at least in the Snowlands, has proven to be... politically divisive at times. But we have the will and have had the momentum to push for sweeping changes which were very unpopular with those who were established, and immensely popular with everyone else.”“What kinds of changes?” Caprica asked.Willowbud smiled. “Well, I could talk about it for hours, but we got several large infrastructure projects pushed through, then we trained explorers, opened several schools, successfully championed new reforms for education, and bankrolled several inventors and clever businessmen who were starting beneficial ventures.”“We dragged this entire country into the future, kicking and screaming all the way,” Tharval said. “And some stuck-up old farts complained the entire time, even as they reaped the benefits.”“That sounds annoying,” I said.Willowbud shrugged his shoulders. “It meant several huge changes to the status quo, and not every noble house and clan survived the changes. Their reasons to complain made sense, on a small scale. They were losing prestige, livelihoods, traditions, and power. In the end, I think it was all for the best. The Snowlands were a... harsh place, once. We needed those traditions to survive. Now we’re thriving. Ah, but now it’s us who are the old ones stuck in the past, aren’t we, Tharval?”“Speak for yourself, elf!” Tharval grumped. “I’ve got a century left of drinking and whipping these young brats into shape, mark my words in stone.”“Ah, speaking of whipping whippersnappers,” I said while holding back a giggle. “Do you think you could help us?”“With your baron problem?” Tharval asked. He tugged at his beard with all of its tresses and beads.I wasn’t going to say anything, but I was a little envious of his beard. It looked really fun to stroke and pull at it, and if I were ever to grow a beard (which would be a little weird) I’d want it to be as fantastic as Tharval’s.“Awa, we could use the help,” Awen admitted. “We don’t know anyone from Storm Tower and the baron has a huge lead on us. We don’t know what he’s up to but... but it’s no good, I’m sure. Rainnewt worked hard to make a lot of trouble for a lot of people, and I just know that he’ll be doing the same kind of thing here, and the baron works for him.”“Actually, we noticed a wanted poster with Rainnewt’s face on it,” Amaryllis said. “We might want to investigate that too. We know there’s a link between the baron and Rainnewt, so if Rainnewt was doing something troublesome here, then that might give us more clues to work with.”I nodded along.Tharval smacked his knees, then the dwarf jumped to his feet. “Alright! I’m tired of sitting back and drinking and collecting dust. Come on, Buddy, we’re going to my shop.”“I doubt we’ll find answers there,” Willowbud said as he stood.“No, but we’ll find eager young fools of the best sort who’ll jump to find the answers for us,” Tharval said with a grin. “Besides, Abraham’s niece seems to have inherited all of the mechanical wit that he lacks. She’ll like the place.”“What kind of shop is it?” Awen asked.Tharval’s grin was almost predatory. “The best kind! Where inventions that ought never see the light of day are hammered into being from the crooked minds of... ah...” he paused, arms half raised as he searched for what to say next.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.“Wide-eyed drunks?” Willowbud volunteered.“That’s exactly it,” Tharval agreed. “Are you coming or are you going to sit here and wallow some more?”“I do like a good wallow session,” Willowbud admitted. “It’s a good way to introspect.”Tharval sniffed. “Only an elf would volunteer to waste time like that. I swear, if you lot had the drive of a proper dwarf the world would be a different place. Bah! Probably for the best that you’re all lazy tree-loving snobs.”The insults came on thick, but all they did was make Willowbud grin. “And you lot hardly do anything but work. I think I could make any dwarf happy by letting them bang a hammer on a rock and giving them a barrel of beer a day.”“Damned right!”My friends and I followed the strange pair as they left the lounge and headed to the elevator. “Ah, will we all fit?” Caprica asked.“Well, I’m not the one taking up too much room if we can’t,” Tharval said with a chuckle. “Come on, just squeeze in tight. Can hardly call yourselves proper adventurers if you haven’t had your friend’s knee in your nose at least once.”I was pretty sure we were breaking some safety codes as we squeezed in. Then Tharval ripped a panel off the side of the control level and flicked a little switch. “What’s that do?” Calamity asked.“Makes us move faster, and gets us to the floors under the guild,” Tharval said. “They’re off-limits, of course.” Then he yanked the elevator lever down, as if that wasn’t a concern, which I supposed it wasn’t for him.The elevator lurched, then started downwards. I was expecting it to basically drop super fast, but it was... about as fast as a normal elevator, maybe? We zipped past a few floors, then past the lobby area where that nice reception-elf looked up at our passing.I blinked as we crossed through a long, dark space, and then, finally, entered a bigger room. This must have been closer to the middle of the complex that housed the towers because the room was huge.If it wasn’t for all the gantries and huge machines all over, it might have been able to fit the entirety of the Beaver Cleaver. As it was, there were several airships parked around... sorta. They were much smaller than any ship I’d seen, even smaller than the Redeemed. Little more than planks and metal beams with engines and props and sometimes balloons hovering above.A constant whirring sound filled the space, sometimes accompanied by a loud clang as metal met metal.Big fans were pumping in fresher air, which I imagine was necessary since there were a number of things on fire and the air was currently filled with the scent of oil, smoke, scorched metal, and industrial chemicals.Heads turned toward us as the elevator slowed its descent and finally stopped. There were about half a dozen people in the workshop. Half were dwarves, but there was an elf and two... half-elves? They looked a bit tall for dwarves and too beardy to be elves.“I’m back!” Tharval said as he opened the elevator’s door and hoped out. “How’s the work going?”“Sir!” one of the half-elves said as he jogged over. “Pleased to see you again, mister Boltbinder. Things have been going well. Did you want a report?”“Later,” Tharval said. “Unless there’s anything liable to explode while we’re here?”“Ah, I don’t think so,” he said.“We’ve got company. This here’s Awen Bristlecone, my best mate’s niece, and these are her companions. They’re explorers from here and there.”“Hello!” I said with a friendly wave.My friends joined in with a chorus of polite greetings that the collection of... what were they, exactly? Inventors? Workers? They seemed to be tinkering with a bunch of different things, and while I wasn’t a mechanically-inclined person like Awen, even I could tell that most of the dozens of projects sitting around were unfinished.“These lads and lasses,” Tharval said as he gestured to the tinkerers. “Are some of the brightest minds in this world-forsaken tower. I don’t get out as much as I used to, but I have folk in all the schools that keep an eye and ear open for people with actual talent. Then I invite them over to my workshop.”“What do they work on?” Awen asked. “It looks like there’s a lot of, um, things going on all at once.”“Hmm? Oh, they’ll work on whatever needs improving, tinkering, or reinventing. Once in a blue moon one of ‘em will come up with an actual good idea,” Tharval said, chest puffing out in pride.“It’s a better deal than it sounds like,” the young man who’d greeted us said. “We get room and board and can spend all day focusing on our pet projects. That’s not something that we’d get to do if we needed jobs to keep fed. We get to practice all day, level our skills, and learn from each other. Occasionally, we even get to learn something from Mister Boltbinder.”Tharval nodded. “The kind of thing I wish I had when I was their age.”“That’s impressive!” I said. “What kinds of things are you working on now?”That was both the wrong and right thing to ask. Right because it started about five conversations at once, with lots of jargon and gesturing, and wrong because it started five conversations at once and I could barely follow one of them.“Quiet down!” Tharval grumbled. “These folk are looking for someone in the tower, and I figured you lot might know where to start.”"Uh..." the same guy started. "Sir, we uh..." he trailed off, exchanging glances with his fellows.They gave uncomfortable shrugs.He turned back to us. "We may not be of much help. Can't rightly say we... pay much attention to the goings-on in the tower." He gestured expansively around himself. "We, well, we don't get out much."It seemed as if Tharval’s plan had run into something of a snag already.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-One — Stop, Drop, and Shop
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-One — Stop, Drop, and Shop “I can’t believe it,” Willowbud said. Then he frowned. “Actually, I take it back, I can believe it quite easily.”Tharval huffed mightily. “Now, don’t get uppity with me, elf,” he said.“Pointing out your mistakes doesn’t make me uppity,” Willowbud said. “Now, if you want me to be uppity, I can show you what that’s like, and trust me, neither of us will forget that experience.”I raised my hand. “Let’s not fight, please,” I said. “Um, I don’t know why you’re being angry with Mister Tharval, Mister Willowbud.”Willowbud straightened. “I’m not angry, Miss Bunch, merely... exasperated. Tharval seems to have brought us down here under false pretences. He didn’t bring you here because you would find help here, but rather to show off whatever he’s been tinkering on lately.”"Now don't go slandering my name," Tharval groused, "I didn't ... well, I didn't only bring them down here to see this stuff! I really thought we could get some help from these tinkerers!""Hey, don't go blaming us for your inability to think things through," chided one of the aforementioned tinkerers.Tharval huffed, hands on his hips. "It was just a slip-up, I ain't gone senile yet.""True," Willowbud nodded his head. "You've been slipping up as long as I've known you, it has nothing to do with age."The dwarf rolled his eyes.Willowbud nodded to himself. "Well, I suppose we can afford to lose some time inspecting whatever greasy thing you’ve put together now.”Tharval chuckled. “There’s always time for that!”And so we were given a tour of the shop. Tharval pointed to all sorts of neat gizmos and inventions, many of which turned out to not work as intended or to be wildly impractical, but he seemed no less proud of those.“Invention is about discovering things that work, and part of that is discovering what doesn’t,” Tharval proclaimed.Soon, he and Awen became enmeshed in an increasingly complex and technical discussion that I tried to follow but soon lost track of. It was clear that while Awen was holding her own, the old dwarf’s own knowledge dwarfed hers.I had to hold back an inappropriate spout of giggles as I realized the pun I’d just thought up.The tinkerers, of course, returned to their tinkering, and I suspected that they were working with some extra pep since their sorta-boss was right there in the room with them.Eventually the tour ended though, and we were all left near the elevators while Tharval looked a little contrite. “So, Bud, how are we gonna find that Baron for these brats, hmm?”Willowbud looked unamused. “You are the brat here,” he said. “Now... ah, no, this isn’t so simple a thing that I can just snap my fingers and fix it. The guild might be able to assist though. We have a number of people with... certain talents when it comes to the gathering of information.”I gasped. “Spies?” I asked.“I think they’d usually rather avoid that label,” he replied.“But it’s so cool!” I said.“Regardless,” he said after a moment. “How about you all come back to the guild tomorrow... actually, how long have you been searching through the Storm Tower for the baron?”“We only arrived a few hours ago,” Amaryllis said. “We parked our ship at the dock, then after registering it came to the guild.”Willowbud nodded. “Then take some time for yourselves. You’ll need to eat soon, I imagine. And the Storm Tower has some of the best shopping around. Part of being a good explorer is developing a love for exploration, and that’s something you can cultivate even in a civilised place like this tower.”“Don’t know that I’d call it civilised,” Tharval said. “But the elf’s right. Give us a day, we’ll figure this out, we will. And in the meantime, the tower’s got a number of fine smiths and shops. Plenty of adventurous folk around here to keep them busy too.”“I don’t recall seeing all that many elven or dwarven adventurers,” Amaryllis said. “I think I might have noticed some in Port Royal, but otherwise...”“Oh, we’d see some in Greenshade sometimes,” Awen said. “Um, usually coming from or heading west?”Tharval nodded. “West’s where the adventuring’s at. Not in Pyrowalk, but past that. And to the south a ways too. There’s the north as well, if you’re keen on freezing off your extremities for months on end only to discover a new kind of dwarf-eating lizard that they’ll name in your honour after you’re eaten by one.”“I wouldn’t mind shopping,” I said. I glanced to my friends, and while there wasn’t unanimous cheering and excitement, no one seemed to think it was a bad idea either. “I think we could use some time to refresh some of our equipment, and besides, I think most of us need a bit of new clothes.”My own was... not that bad, actually. I’d kept it clean, of course, but at the same time Cleaning magic wasn’t Maintenance magic, and I’d noticed a few things getting a little threadbare in spots. The leather straps holding my armour together were looking a bit stretched too, and I suspected that I’d hit a teensy growth spurt lately because my skirt had climbed almost to my knees!“Awa, that does sound nice,” Awen said. “I’ve always wanted to explore the Storm Tower. So many interesting devices come from here.”“It wouldn’t be a waste of time,” Amaryllis said. “And we do have a fair amount of gold we can afford to spend, even after taking into account docking fees and the like.”“I’ve barely got a copper to my name,” Calamity said with a grin.I bumped my shoulder against his. “Don’t worry about that! You’re due some payment for helping us, and besides, you’re our friend, no?”“Thanks!” he said. “In that case, I need me some new clothes. These are starting to look ratty, especially with the company I’ve been keeping.” He tugged on the front of his shirt which was a little worse for wear. It was clean, of course. Even if he didn’t seem to put much effort into cleaning it, he was still in my proximity often enough that my Cleaning aura probably scrubbed away any sweat stains, but that aura didn’t do anything for the holes in the fabric or the bits that were stretched.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.I looked to Caprica, who shrugged. “I’ll come along,” she said. “Though I don’t think I need much, and I don’t know if they’ll have anything for sylph.”“You’re also poor,” Amaryllis said. Her lips were a thin line, but I knew she was holding back a smile from the way the corner of her eyes turned up.“Poor?” Caprica asked. Then she blinked. “Oh.”Had she brought any gold with her when she snuck onboard the Beaver? I couldn’t recall. That might be a shock to the system, going from being a princess of a really rich place to a poor girl who had to sneak onboard ships.I gave her a hug, of course.“Why are you hugging me?” she asked, though she didn’t make any move to remove me.“Poor person hug of solidarity,” I said.“Broccoli, you’re not poor. You’re the captain of an airship with more gold onboard it than some entire villages have,” Amaryllis said.“Oh,” I said. “Well, ah, we should go?” I said as I tried not to feel so awkward. Caprica was giving Amaryllis a look and I chose not to get between them. I figured they actually liked each other, but in that sort of friendly-rival way that included lots of little digs and veiled half-insults.Not my favourite flavour of friendship, but I’d take it!Tharval and Willowbud bid us a nice day, and Willowbud told us to show up at the guild again the next morning. Then we shuffled into the elevator and rode back up to the guild’s lobby.The nice reception elf pointed us towards the shopping centre, which happened to not be all that far from the guild. It was just on the other side of the interior train station, which did require that we leave the guild, go down a floor, then back up one on the other side.The interior of the Storm Tower was essentially a maze of warrens, alleys, little side-passages, stairwells, and then the occasional cavernous room. It wasn’t organised in any way that I could decipher, and no one had bothered putting up helpful maps for lost tourists.Basically, it was a great place for exploring and adventuring because it was so easy to get lost in!Of course, since we were looking for something specific and not for a fun adventure, I ended up asking some nice locals for directions... several times.We found the shopping area eventually. A long row of stores and shops, all squeezed in next to each other on one side of a long corridor. On the other there were benches and thick windows looking out towards the industrial area and cliffs below the tower.“Oh, where do we start?” I asked as I spun around. “Should we do every place in order? Or run around back and forth, or just ask around and go exactly where we need to? Do you think they have ice cream?”“Let’s do things in order,” Amaryllis said. “That seems like the simplest way to go about things. And the best way to keep us from getting separated and lost.”I clapped my hands. “Right! If anyone gets separated then, uh... let’s all meet up at that place right there.” I pointed.“Broccoli, that’s a food stand,” Amaryllis said.“Yeah, that way you won’t go hungry while waiting,” I said. It looked like they were selling sausages and beer, which felt a little strange for a foodstand to sell, but it was run by a dwarf.The first shop right on the corner was a discount and used armour store. It was called the Half-Elf’s Half-Off Emporium, and it was filled from front to back with mannequins along the walls, each wearing full or partial sets of armour.The place had so much stuff and so little room that my friends and I basically filled the shop to capacity.It was fun though, we poked at various armours (most were for elves, unsurprisingly) and got into a giggle fit when we discovered some sets had very pronounced codpieces.Nothing looked like it would fit any of us, elves having very long legs and tall chests, in general, though a few pieces looked more human-sized. The proprietor was a younger gentleman, a bit shorter than I was and quite stocky, but with the long ears I’d expect from elves and very fine features, including a nice pointy chin.I got to talking to him and he said that there was a growing population of half-elf half-dwarves in the Storm Tower. For all that the two races had some pretty big cultural differences, it didn’t mean that love couldn’t flourish between them.The next shop was a general store that sold mostly tools and crafting supplies. I would have skipped it, but Awen’s eyes lit up when she saw it. Gnome Depot didn’t have much that we needed, but Awen still walked out of there with a few bags full of supplies for the Beaver and for her own projects.After Gnome Depot, we ran to a little shop called Arrow Smiths, where the owner, a grumpy dwarf, fussed over Awen and Calamity’s bows. He ended up giving Awen’s the thumb’s-up of approval, but Calamity didn’t get off so easily.“I’ve had this thing for years,” he said.“Oh, and it’s a fantastic piece,” the dwarf said. “Clearly hand-made, but well done even if it wasn’t made by a true professional. Well-maintained too.”“Well, I made it myself,” Calamity said a little sheepishly.“Oh-hoh. Well, you did alright. I imagine you’re not a professional though. We have bows here that’ll improve your aim tenfold and will have each arrow hitting like a lightning bolt!” He started to show off his wares and it didn’t take long for Calamity to be won over by the idea of something shiny and new.We ended up spending a few gold on a much nicer bow, one with a wheel and cam system that was made of metal and wood and seemed a whole lot more complicated to use and maintain, but Awen said that she didn’t mind helping Calamity.Grinning, we left the shop and continued on our rather expensive outing!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Two — Facial Hare
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Two — Facial Hare “Huh,” I said.“Huh,” Awen agreed.“Hmm?” Caprica asked.“Are you all really just going to stand there and stare?” Amaryllis asked. She fluttered a wing towards the shop. “There’s nothing stopping you from going in.”“Yeah, but it’s weird isn’t it?” Calamity asked.The shop in question was right next to the Arrow Smiths. It was a smaller shop, with two big windows sandwiching a doorway. The shop’s name was above that, written on a simple, discrete plaque. Substitute Stubble, Prosthetics, Artificial Replacements.Through the windows we could make out mannequins. Some had wooden or metallic arms and legs, fitted for both dwarf and elf, but most of the mannequins were just wooden heads on little stands. And all of them had fake beards.“Well, I wanna check it out,” I said before I boldly stepped up and into the shop. A bell jingled above the doorway, and I was hit with a weird mix of smells, oils and shampoos. It reminded me a little of the barber shops I’d sometimes visited when my dad needed a haircut back on Earth.The shop was divided into two sections. A small area to one side sold prosthetics of various makes and models, and a few signs promised year-long guarantees, free adjustments, and a free can of oil with every purchase of a magitech arm-clamp or buzzsaw hand.The rest of the shop was all about the fake beards. There were long ones, short ones, beards split into thirds and partial fake beards as well as beard extensions, goatees, mutton chops, and beards that were shaped in all sorts of fanciful ways.“Hello sir,” someone said from the front. An older dwarf stepped out from behind a counter. He had an apron that fell to his knees and a pointy-sharp beard with beads around the moustache. Also, one of his legs clacked and was very obviously artificial. “How can I help you?”“Ah, I was just looking,” I said.“Oh, no need to be shy,” he said as he adjusted a pair of spectacles. “I see that hairless chin of yours and the envy in your eyes. You, good sir, are in want of a magnificent beard!”“Uh. I guess?” I said. They were pretty magnificent.“Fantastic. Now, I’m curious, and if the memory pains you too much, then feel free to tell me to shut my old gullet up, but how did you lose your beard?” He squinted at my face, and I had the impression he was really inspecting my cheeks and chin.“Ah, well, I never had one to begin with,” I said.“Hmm,” he said. Then he shook his head. “Shame.”“Well, I was a human girl, and we don’t usually have beards. Uh. Now I’m a bun girl, and I haven’t seen one of those with a beard either.”He blinked. “Oh. You’re a woman. My apologies, miss, for misgendering ya. It’s hard to tell, you see.”“It’s fine,” I said with a little wave. “Um, are any of these beards... girl beards?”“Hmm? Why, yes, obviously,” he said. “Why, nearly half of them. The ladies have beard-related accidents just as often as the men do, of course.”“Right, of course," I said, despite not seeing any difference between the beards. Presumably there was some cultural or perceptual thing I wasn't picking up on, or maybe couldn't pick up on. “What’s the most common beard-related accident?” I asked while my friends filed into the shop.“Oh, getting caught in gears is common enough. Burns happen too. Usually that’ll just clip a bit off the end though. A shame, but nothing too unusual. Something for your friends to rib you about, but it happens to the best of us. Now, these prosthetics are for more serious injuries to the beard. The poor souls who go through something harrowing and awful and who come out of it bereft of their whiskers and facial hair.” He frowned and shook his head. “I do what I can to help, having been there once myself.” Then he stroked his own magnificent beard.“Wow, that’s really kind of you,” I said. “Is this the only, ah, prosthetic beard shop around?”“Hmm? Only the finest! There are a few others, but none as spectacular or with such a fine quality of faux-beards as you’ll find here. Now... are these your companions, miss?”“Ah, yup!” I said. “They’re here to help me shop for a beard... uh, unless you guys want a beard of your own?”Awen giggled and shook her head. Amaryllis looked unimpressed, and Caprica confused at the very idea. Calamity though, stepped up. “Hey, can you make moustaches?”“A moustache? Of course, miss.”“Ah, no, I’m a... nevermind,” Calamity said with a sigh. “Yeah, a nice moustache would do.”“You can’t grow your own?” I asked him.He shrugged. “Not really. But I always wanted one. Maybe one that matches my ears?” He wiggled his cat ears and the old dwarf squinted up at them.“Hmm, might have something that fits. The miss first, though!” He turned his attention back onto me. “Now, what kind of beard are you looking for? One for special occasions? A worker’s beard?”“Ah, I don’t know much about beard culture, what do you think would be best?” I asked.“Well, something to bring out your femininity, of course. Maybe something simple and traditional. Just a few braids and maybe a bead or two. Nothing less than a foot though. Now, a proper beard reaches down to the belly button, of course, but on taller folk that sometimes looks a mite strange. Maybe... hmm.”He mumbled to himself as he limped between the stands and shelves of beards, then he returned with a few samples.Grinning, I followed him over to a seat at the back with a large mirror before it. The dwarf had me try on a couple of beards real quick, but he whipped them away almost as soon as they were on. Finally, after a dozen, he held one against my face and nodded. “Not a bad option, don’t you think?”Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.The beard was just long enough to reach my upper chest, with a pointy middle and a few simple braids along the sides. The moustache was properly thick, with something for me to grab and curl on the edges. It was also the same shade of brown as my hair.“We can get some beads to match your eyes. You’ll have every beau from here to Sissifin complimenting your whiskers.”“I’ll take it!” I said.The beard was held in place by a set of discreet straps that ran around and over my head and which were thin enough to be hidden by my hair. In the end, the beard looked perfectly natural and hung on without any painful tugging.Broccoli’s BeardNew Skill Acquired: Tinkering ProficiencyRank: DOh! A skill! I didn’t know that Mad Millinery could proc on wearing a beard of all things. Beards weren’t hats, were they? Though I supposed they were technically headwear? I needed to see if sunglasses would give me a skill too, though something told me it wouldn’t work that way, exactly. “Hey, I got a Tinkering Proficiency skill from the beard,” I said.“Oho, you have a gear-based skill? That’s uncommon enough. And yes, obviously beards make you a better tinkerer.”Now Awen was looking at my beard with an indecipherable expression on.“Did you want one?” I asked her.She hesitated, then shook her head. “No, it’s okay,” she said.Once I was bearded up, I stood aside while the old dwarf helped Calamity find a suitable moustache. He ended up with a big bushy thing that sat like a hairy caterpillar on his upper lip. It looked a bit silly, but also gave Calamity the air of an outdoorsman.We paid for the dwarf’s services and the facial hair, then headed out to explore the rest of the shops.“It’s going to be tricky, eating with this thing,” I said as I stroked my beard. Of course, I was starting to think about food. We were shopping, and grabbing something unhealthy and strange to eat was part of the shopping experience.But, since there wasn’t a place to sit down and eat at just yet, we continued to windowshop for a bit. I tried not to tug at my beard while we walked around, which was surprisingly hard.We ended up in another clothes store where we perused all of the things they had, but for the most part they were either way too big or way too small for any of us. I did end up buying a few knit socks that looked very comfy.I had a weakness for fluffy socks.Then we ran into a little novelty store. They had cameras, and a setup that allowed them to develop photos in an hour. There were all sorts of photos pinned to the walls of dour looking dwarves and serious elves, all in that sort of shades of brown and black.We filed in, and an excited elf explained photography for us. Or rather, for my friends. I was familiar with the idea already, even if the way he described it made it seem novel and new.In the end, we all settled into a spot at the back of the shop, squeezing in tightly so that all of us could fit into the frame. Then we ignored the nice elf’s advice and smiled big and bright as the camera went off.He took a few pictures, just in case, and we paid up before heading off. Given that is would take an hour to develop the pictures, we had some time to eat!We found a coffee shop a little ways off, but there was a huge line leading up to it, so we continued until we found a shop being run by a tall, wiry man of dark complexion. It took me a moment to realise that he was an Ostri, of all things. They were selling Ostri specialities from the Ostri desert, which Awen was pretty excited for.“Their food tastes great,” she said. “Just, ah, the names are strange.”The shop’s name was interesting too. Come Here to Eat Ostri Food. It... well, it certainly told anyone passing by what to expect. We ended up sitting at a round table, with some chairs stolen from nearby.I had cactus leaves with hurty weed sauce, which was surprisingly spicey, but also flavourful, and the others had a mix of things, from spicey bird cooked over fire to flatbread with meat and burning sauce.Once we were appropriately stuffed, it took some serious effort and willpower to get up and waddle out of the restaurant. I also discovered that eating with a beard was probably a challenge for people who didn’t have Cleaning magic. The fine hairs caught on every non-solid food and I ended up with half my meal tucked away in my moustache instead of in my tummy.I sniffed out a bakery on our way back to the photoshop, and as it turned out, there was a teeny tiny bit of room in me to squeeze in some cake along with a hot citrusy tea-like drink.By the time we returned to the photoshop, all five of us were groaning with effort and our bellies were bulging from all the food we’d stuffed ourselves with, but it was worth it!We each got a copy of our new team photo, and I carefully slid mine away. It would, I suspected, make for a nice memory in the distant future. A way to look back and show our respective kids how much fun we’d had and who our friends were.I was looking forward to that future, but moreso, I was looking forward to the now where we were still having all that fun.“Oh, look, they sell flowers over there,” Caprica said. “Do you think I could get something for Gabrielle?”“Let’s go see!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Three — Dress-Up Games
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Three — Dress-Up Games I noticed Awen fixated on her copy of our team photo as we walked along. She was staring at the image, her expression something I couldn’t quite read while her thumb ran up and down the edge, careful not to rub against any of the smiling faces on the photograph.“Are you okay?” I asked, voice pitched low so that I wouldn’t disturb the others.Caprica, Amaryllis, and Calamity were in the middle of a spirited argument about whether or not eating rodents was okay. Calamity and-surprisingly-Caprica both seemed to agree that the occasional mouse was a fine snack while Amaryllis disagreed quite sternly.Awen looked up, then her expression changed, becoming a shy little smile. “Yeah,” she said.“Are you sure?” I asked. I only had to move my arms up a tiny bit for her to walk right into a hug. “You looked... I don’t know.”Awen booped her head against my shoulder, and soon we had to break apart the hug because walking-hugs were an advanced-level hug tactic and it wasn’t easy to keep up. “It’s okay. I was just... this is a really nice painting.”“Photograph,” I corrected softly. “And yeah, it is! We’re all real smiley. Did you see the expression on the elf’s face when we didn’t just stand there all gloomy and dour?”“My cheeks hurt from holding the smile,” Awen admitted.“Ah, but it was worth it, yeah?”She bobbed her head in a nod. “Yes. A lot of things have been worth it lately.” She looked at the photo one last time, then carefully tucked it into the envelope it came in and placed it in her bag. When she looked back my way, there wasn’t any shyness in her smile. “Thanks, Broccoli.”“Huh?”“Awa, guys, I don’t think we’ll find any mice to eat here, um, so maybe it doesn’t matter?” Awen said as she walked around me and towards our other friends, putting an end to their argument as she did so.Not to be left out, I skipped over to my friends and grabbed the nearest two-which happened to be Amaryllis and Calamity-from behind for a quick hug. “Yeah! If we find any mice then we’ll see what they taste like, okay? Unless they’re cute talking mice. Those we’ll make friends with.”“Emergency ration friends?” Calamity asked. He licked his lips.“No,” I said chastisingly. “Friends don’t eat friends.”“Says you,” he shot back. “Bunnies are part of a cat’s diet, you know. Roasted on an open flame, maybe with some spices. Tasty!”“We just ate, why are we talking about food again?” Caprica asked.“Because explorers think with their stomachs,” Awen said. “At least, my uncle used to say that a lot of his adventures happened because of his lower brain, so that’s what I think he meant.” She nodded.Amaryllis smacked herself in the face with a wing. “World, why,” she muttered.“What?” I asked her.“Never you mind,” she said. “Look, clothes.”I turned, following her pointing talon to a store across the hall from us. It was actually quite large, one of the bigger stores we’d crossed, and the interior was filled with mannequins and racks upon racks of clothes. The sign at the front named the place Every Body Needs Clothes and it seemed as if they specialised in clothes for every body type and species. “Oh, let’s go!”“Yes, you and Awen and Caprica and Calamity... wait, all of you except for me need clothes,” Amaryllis said. “Why am I surrounded by people who only have one outfit?”“I have at least two,” I said.“I have a large wardrobe,” Caprica said.“Not on the Beaver you don’t,” Amaryllis said. “And Broccoli, one set of adventuring clothes and one nice suit for special events doesn’t count as a full wardrobe.”I shrugged. “You don’t need to convince me! Come on, I wanna play dress-up with unlimited funds!”“Unlimited— Broccoli, don’t waste all of our money on pretty clothes. No more than a dozen gold each. Ten, even!” Amaryllis said as she ran after me.Her budget turned out to be really generous though. Most clothes here were only a few coppers, with the much nicer things priced in silver. The Stormtower economy seemed to be booming if all of its stuff was priced so cheap. Or something like that, I wasn’t an economist. In fact, at the moment I was the opposite, a consumer.“Who do we shop for first?” I asked.“Calamity needs it most,” Caprica said. “He looks like a ruffian.”“But I want to look like a ruffian,” Calamity said.“In that case, you’ve succeeded in a spectacular way,” she said.I clapped my hands. “Ruffian chic!”“That’s not a thing, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“It could be,” Awen suggested.We ended up scrounging for all sorts of things across the store, with more and more clothes piling up onto Calamity’s outstretched arms until we could barely see the tips of his ears over the pile.Then we shoved Calamity into some changing booths and giggled while he cursed and stumbled around inside. He came out with various outfits, all of which we nixed, denied, or agreed with him that they just didn’t suit him. Formal didn’t work on Calamity. Putting him in a nice suit left him looking like someone playing dress up in their dad’s clothes, and he didn’t look comfortable.In the end though, he found something that he liked.“You can’t wear a vest and a sleeveless leather jacket,” Caprica said.“Why not?” Amaryllis asked. “It leaves his wings... arms, free.”“Yeah, check out my cannons!” Calamity brought his arms up and flexed. He did have rather bulgy muscles on his upper arms. Probably from using a bow so much, that had to require a lot of upper body strength.His overall outfit was fairly simple, but clean. A short sleeve button up shirt, a little blue tie around the neck with a black vest over his shirt. And atop all of that, a beige leather coat, without sleeves.He topped that with a white cowboy hat-with ear holes-and a pair of white pants made of a tough, denim-like material.If it wasn’t for my Cleaning I might have suggested that he forgo using so much white, but that was fine.
If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“I think it suits you,” I said.“I’m liking it,” he replied as he adjusted his hat.So that was that. Somehow, without needing to communicate it, all of our attention turned towards Caprica who blinked and suddenly had the kind of expression I’d expect from a bunny that tripped out of a bush and into a wolfpack. “What?” she asked.In the end she was pushed into the changing room with a small mountain of clothes. It was only a small mountain because there weren’t that many things sized for a sylph, otherwise we might have been there all day.In the end, we pushed Caprica a little bit out of her comfort zone, her comfort zone being things with stiff shoulders and smart military-cuts. We were looking for something casual, not something that could pass as a commander’s outfit.Still, Caprica had her tastes, and she settled on a simple outfit. Pants-”You don’t wear skirts when you intend to fly anywhere,”-that were on the tighter side, some slip-on shoes, and a nice blouse under a button-up cardigan, with the sleeves rolled up she could pass for an off-duty librarian instead of an off-duty princess-commander.It was cute!
“Who’s next?” I asked.“Awa,” Awen awa’d, and so she was picked to be next. We did the same thing, pulling her across the store and showing her all sorts of outfits. It was easy to shop for Awen. If something was too much, her face would go red, and if she liked it she would give a little nod.In the end, we pushed her into the changing room with only a few items. She stepped out of it wearing a blue dress and a nice leather jacket. The only problem was...“Wow,” Amaryllis said. “That’s... a very short skirt and a lot of leg.”“Ah,” Awen said. She tugged the hem down, which didn’t do much.“If you want, we can go back to that picture place. Send Rose something to remember you by,” Amaryllis teased.Awen spun and ran back into the changing room and only came out ten minutes later, her blush significantly less incandescent. She had a nice, rather modest dress on, though she’d kept the jacket. It had pockets, after all.
“Okay! Amaryllis next!” I said.“Why not you next?” she asked.“Because you were too slow,” I replied before grabbing her by the talon and pulling her back into the racks. Amaryllis, as it turned out, had a very particular idea of what ‘casual’ meant, and I ended up having to jog after her as she flitted around the store and tossed clothes back for me to catch.I didn’t know that one of my best friends was such an avid shopper, but here we were, with a heap for Amaryllis to pick through and discard. She ended up only going into the changing room with one or two items.When she stepped out she was wearing a white... shirt-thing. It wasn’t an item of clothing I’d ever seen on earth before. It had short sleeves on the inside, but a long, shawl-like piece of cloth came out from around the collar and swept down over the wings.She was also wearing a tracksuit.There was no mistaking it. Her pants-white, the same as her strange shirt-had stripes on the side and were tucked into a pair of large talon-accommodating shoes.She looked surprisingly modern, actually. “Well?” she asked.I nodded and gave her a thumbs up. I was going to tell her she looked cute, but she probably wouldn’t appreciate that. “You’re very attractive.”“Moron,” she said before pouting off.
“My turn!” I cheered.My friends seemed to make a point of dragging me all over the store, deliberately suggesting the most absurd outfits they could, but the joke was on them. I loved spending time with my friends, even if it meant playing the part of the doll.“Broccoli, I want to show you something,” Amaryllis said. Next to her, Caprica was nodding seriously. Then unfolded a pair of pants. “These, my dear Broccoli, are pants.”“Uh,” I said.“They’ve very practical,” Caprica went on. “See, they’re like two skirts, but together.”“I know what pants are?” I tried.Amaryllis huffed a sort of... ‘I don’t believe you’ huff. “We’ll see about that.”I was shoved into the changing room with a lot of outfits, and then I spent the next while trying things on and stepping out to see what worked and what didn’t. Of course, my friends made me take my beard off after the first outfit, but I vowed to put it back on after! Some of the stuff was... not as modest as I was used to, and after stepping out with a shirt that exposed my tummy and rather tight shorts, I found that Awen was having a hard time breathing. She was also covering Calamity’s face with her arm.Amaryllis pushed me back into the changing room, and I looked over everything until I found something I thought would be comfy. A nice teal sweater with some vertical lines, a clean button-up shirt, and some pants with flared legs. They reminded me a little of my mom’s bell-bottoms.“Oh, that works,” Amaryllis said as I stepped out.Caprica nodded. “Very comfortable.”I grinned. “Then I’ll take it!” I said.
I insisted that we take some time to put everything away while also tossing around a bit of Cleaning magic, just because it seemed like the nice thing to do. It paid off in the end when the cashier gave us a little discount. They seemed rather relieved about it too!And so, with more comfy clothes on, we headed out... probably to find even more food to eat.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Four — Late to Bed and Late to Rise
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Four — Late to Bed and Late to Rise We ended up waking up late.I don’t know why, but after coming back to the Beaver after a whole day spent shopping, all of us loaded down with bags and bags of stuff, the tiredness walking about had just... evaporated, and it had been replaced by a sort of manic energy that had the bunch of us throwing an impromptu party.Not a very loud one. Though there was music! Clive had a harmonica and the Scallywags had fashioned some drums out of bits and bobs laying around. As it turned out, that was about all we had needed to get a sing-off of sorts going.Awen even ended up coming out of her shell a little to, as she put it, ‘put a few years of singing practice to use.’Caprica also had a rather pretty voice, but all the songs she knew were about how grand and mighty the sylph were, which was kinda funny, but not as funny as the songs Abraham had taught Awen about adventurers and getting into trouble.There wasn’t just singing, of course. We discovered some late-night stalls in the megadock that sold bitter dwarven food, and Calamity and the harpy boys returned with a little keg of strong dwarven ale that got shared around.By the time we all flopped onto bed it was well into the next day, so I wasn’t too surprised when I woke up just shy of noon feeling a bit creaky and dehydrated.I stumbled out of bed, got undressed from the night before, then redressed in my new comfy clothes before making my way to the dining room.“You look like your egg was left out in the sun too long,” Amaryllis said from the dining room table. She was twisting a spoon in a bowl of grey goop. “I made oatmeal. Enough for... well, everyone, I suppose.” She gestured to a big pot nearby that was filled near to the rim with oatmeal.“Huh,” I said. “Did you forget the oatmeal rises when it cooks?” I asked.She didn’t deign to answer me, instead choosing to take another mouthful.“Thanks for the breakfast,” I said as I served myself a bowl. It was a little bland, especially compared to all the savoury and bitter things I’d eaten the night before, but maybe that was for the best. It would help settle my tummy.Could have been improved with some maple syrup, but I chose not to complain.“So, what’re we doing today?” I asked.“Not shopping again, that’s for sure,” Amaryllis said. “We might have... a surprisingly full coffer of gold from all that work we did for Sylphfree, but we still made a dent in our reserves spending the way we did.”“Will we be okay?” I asked.She waved the concern away. “I’ll let you know when we need to tighten the belt. Truth is, we made nearly enough working for Sylphfree to buy an entire airship, crew and all. It should keep us going for a year or more if we’re careful.”“Oh, that’s good to hear!”“Only if we’re careful. If we spend gold like we did last night, that year’s going to be shortened to a month.”I laughed. “We’ll be a little more discreet, then! Besides, if we want more, it feels like adventuring and exploring’s been pretty good money so far.”“Only because we picked up some... strange missions. Don’t go thinking most explorers get into the kind of trouble we do,” Amaryllis said.I shrugged. “Tharval and Willowbud seem like the kind of people that would do fun things too.”“They’re exceptions to the rule,” she said with a mighty huff. “But, speaking of those two, we should probably visit them and see if Willowbud was able to find any info about Vonowl.”I nodded along and scooped up another spoonful of oatmeal just as Awen zombied her way into the room and collapsed in her usual seat. She didn’t move, and I suspected that she fell asleep so I left her to it. “Do you think all of us should go?” I asked.“We hardly need five people to pick up a bit of intelligence,” Amaryllis conceded. “Maybe just the two of us? It’ll give the others a chance to recover.” She nodded her head towards Awen who started to snore very faintly. It was more of a whistle-y breath than a snore, really.I licked my bowl clean while Amaryllis gave me a disgusted look, then Cleaned the rest of it off along with my spoon before placing both in front of Awen for when she finally woke up again.“Alright! Let’s head out. I bet we can make it back before the others wake up completely,” I said.Amaryllis snorted, and soon we were climbing up onto the main deck. Surprisingly, that’s where we ran into Calamity. “Howdy,” he said with a tip of his new hat. “Didn’t reckon anyone would be up yet.”“Good morning,” I said. “I didn’t expect to see you up either. You don’t look hungover at all.”He grinned. “I’ve spent a good part of my life in hunting groups. They might be unwashed and uneducated sorts, but nya never partied harder than with hunters after a big hunt.”“I guess that makes sense. Amaryllis and I were heading over to see Willowbud and Tharval.”“Ah, the old guys? Did nya need me along?”I thought about it, then shook my head. “How about you stand guard on the Beaver while we're ashore?”He tipped his hat. “Can do. You two stay safe out there.”I gave him a quick goodbye hug, then hooked one arm with Amaryllis’ wing as we moved off the Beaver and across one of the movable catwalks of the docks. The space wasn’t quite as busy as when we arrived the night before, but it was still noisy. The way the massive dock was built meant that every sound echoed through the entire space. So a single hammer’s clang would reverberate over and over again across the chasm in the centre.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.It was even worse now that the ceiling was closed up for the night. I imagined they did that to keep the rain and weather out.Arm-in-wing, Amaryllis and I left the docks and promptly got lost as we took a turn too early and ended up in part of the Storm Tower we didn’t know (admittedly, that part of the Storm Tower would be "most of it"). Fortunately some helpful elves were kind enough to point us towards the trams where we hopped aboard and zipped across the complex towards the Exploration Guild headquarters.We were greeted by the same nice receptionist elf, who gestured us to the elevator when we asked about Willowbud and Tharval. “Your little group certainly has livened those two up,” he said offhand.“Really?” I asked.“Oh yes. It’s nice to see them reliving their best days a little. Although it’s also somewhat worrying. I don’t recall seeing Willowbud don his armour in nearly half a decade,” he said.“Maybe he was just seeing if it still fit,” I suggested.He didn’t seem to believe that any more than I did. Still, we got in the elevator and rode up to the floor with the lounge. On entering, we discovered Tharval and Willowbud in the middle of an argument. But it seemed like one of those friendly sorts of arguments, the kind that friends rehashed every so often.Willowbud was, indeed, in armour. It was all steel plates made to look like interlocking leaves with finely etched patterns across the entire surface. The edges were covered in a greenish metal that I suspected was tarnished copper, but it looked purposefully done. Every gesture moved pieces of the armour in and out of each other with a mesmerising degree of articulation.“Hi!” I said as I came closer. Tharval was also in heavy plate that made him look like a really old cast-iron fireplace more than anything. “Nice armour, Mister Wintersdawn.”“Thank you,” Willowbud said. His tone suggested that he’d just won a point in whatever argument he was having with Tharval. “See? Miss Bunch thinks that my armour is ‘nice.’”“Nice enough for your funeral, more like. Besides, what does she know about armour, huh?” he asked that last one directly to me.“Um,” I said. I wasn’t even wearing my armour at the moment. “Not very much, I guess. Are you guys arguing about armour?”“Tharval here insists that this piece isn’t good enough,” Willowbud said with a hand pressed to his breastplate. “Even though it has served me quite well over the years and was made by a very close friend.”“Oh. Well, if it has sentimental value, then maybe,” I began.“I’m that close friend!” Tharval said. “And I say it’s not good enough! You’re insulting me and everything I ever built by ambling about in that rusty half-baked mess.”“Um,” I said. Now I wasn’t sure what to think.Willowbud sighed and tried to explain. “He’s embarrassed, you see.”“I am not! Though you ought to be, wearing that thing.”“Because,” Willowbud continued as if Tharval hadn’t spoken. “This suit of armour was one of his earlier creations, and he has improved greatly as a smith and artist since. But I still think it’s a fine piece and I hardly need to commission a new one.”“I’ll give you a good price, I already said!”I held back a giggle. “Ah, so it’s a bit like... you’re walking around showing people the equivalent of Tharval’s first ever poems and he’s embarrassed about them?”Willowbud ruminated on the analogy for a moment before smiling. “Yes, exactly.”“Oi! It’s nothing like that!”“I think the armour you made is very pretty,” I told Tharval.He pointed a fat finger at me. “Don’t you start, little miss.”I worked hard to hold back my smile, but it wasn’t an easy thing to do. “Alright, I won’t say anything,” I said.“Your pointless argument aside,” Amaryllis stepped in, “did you discover anything about Vonowl?”“A few things,” Willowbud said with a nod. “As it turns out he is, in fact, related to our old companion. Wesley was his grand-uncle. After Wesley founded the first Harpy-Mountain branch of the Exploration guild, he went on to marry and essentially retired from the more demanding side of the exploration work. He spent most of his time after that doing administrative tasks.”“That’s the harder side of things,” Tharval muttered. “Give me an unexplored ancient dungeon any day over a stack of unsigned papers.”“Anyway, his family used their ties to the guild to grow somewhat more prominent, from what I gathered. Which is only fair I suppose. The barony came soon after, and the new Vonowl is its head.”“Interesting,” Amaryllis said. “Yes, I can see someone using a good rank within the Exploration guild as a way to propel themselves into lesser nobility. That would make this Baron Vonowl’s grasp on his position somewhat tenuous.”“That may be so,” Willowbud said. “In any case, I did discover he’s staying at the Grand Mami Hotel."He waited expectantly, but Amaryllis and me only gave him a blank stare."... It's one of the smaller towers sticking out of the main Storm Tower complex. Though its tower is mostly for show and for when diplomats arrive aboard private shuttles. Most of the hotel is within the complex.”“Bah, they don’t care about that. They care about catching this moron,” Tharval said. He punched his hands together, knuckles striking with a clang. “We’re gonna catch him and string him up by his toes.”“I don’t even know if harpies have toes,” Willowbud said.“But you do! Maybe I ought to string yours up instead, huh?”I had the impression that working with these two was going to be an experience.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Five — Abomination Against Engineering and Good Sense
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Five — Abomination Against Engineering and Good Sense “So should we just visit the hotel then?” I asked.“Without the others?” Amaryllis replied. “That seems needlessly risky.”I nodded. “You’re right, It’s more fun with friends.”Amaryllis didn’t even react. “Of course,” she said before turning to the old guys. “I’m assuming from the way you two are geared up that you intended to come?”Tharval snorted. “What, you came here begging for our help, you know? Think we’d just let you walk into the lion’s den on your own? Bah! You folk are so green it hurts to see. I can’t imagine any of you making it out of a fight with your heads still connected to your shoulders.”“But my head’s more connected to my neck than my shoulders,” I said.“I don’t think we came here begging for help, as you so eloquently put it,” Amaryllis said, a bit tetchy. “We came here asking for some basic assistance. Besides, we’re not useless in a fight. All of us are in our second tier.”Tharval sniffed. “That’s the bare minimum to become... not even an explorer, more like the person who carried the explorer’s bags.”“Now, don’t be that way. We both know that different guilds have different entry requirements. Not all of them are as rigorous as the Stormtower and Snowlander Exploration Guilds.”“Is it hard to become a member here?” I asked.“Most are in their third tier, and if they are not, then there’s a year-long training course that we usually insist upon,” Willowbud said. “It takes prospective members to a couple of local dungeons whose difficulties are easy to manage so that new members can learn the ropes, so to speak.”“Hmph, maybe the other guilds have the right to it. Take raw recruits and toss them into the smelter. If they don’t melt right away then they might be worth forging into something usable. I dare say half the new members we get are a bunch of flower-sniffing morons who don’t know their boot from their ar-”Willowbud patted Tharval on the head. “That’s quite enough. I’m sure Amaryllis, Broccoli and their friends aren’t that sort. They made it all the way here, didn’t they?”“Hmph. Get your hand off my head, you-”I clapped my hands, both to distract them from the oncoming scuffle that I felt was about to start, and because I was a little excited. “You can come and see the Beaver Cleaver! That’s our airship. He’s the best ship that’s ever flown!”“He?” Tharval asked. “Ships are meant to be fine ladies.”“Well, I think the Beaver’s a he,” I said. “But honestly, I don’t know how to tell, really. Which bit of the ship gives away its gender?”“Well, what’s the figurehead look like?” he asked.“Oh, there’s two! They’re both furry ducks with tophats.”The dwarf didn’t seem to know what gender ‘fur-covered duck’ was, so he dropped the subject with a grunt. With that done, we left the guild as a small group, Willowbud taking the lead once we were out of the guild proper with Tharval trotting along with the rest of us.“So, I saw that you don’t wear any proper armour,” he said to Amaryllis.“I’m the team’s mage,” she replied. “And I’m a harpy besides. Armour weighs us down.”“You can’t be the team mage if someone pokes a few holes through your gut,” Tharval said. “Now, what you need is some proper plate and to give up on all that silly flying business. If you were meant to fly under your own power you’d manage it just fine, but seeing as you can’t, then you might as well strap on a few thumb-thick steel plates.”Tharval regaled us with the advantages and glories of proper plate armour while trampling over Amaryllis’ objections and ignoring any cultural misapprehensions she might have about it. It was a little rude, but also kind of funny to see Amaryllis trying and failing to get a word in edgewise. Her huffs grew increasingly huffy as we went.Eventually though, we reached the docks, and in far less time than it had taken us to get to the guild. Willowbud knew all the shortcuts, it seemed. Once we arrived, we circled around the edge of the tower, and Tharval finally changed tracks.“Now, this place took twenty years to build, you know! Had to grab steel from seven different mines and stone from two quarries. It wasn’t just getting the materials here that was hard though. We needed to invent entirely new ways of building things just to get this place started. Not to mention all the stigma of building a place like this.”“Stigma?” I repeated. “People didn’t want to build the tower?”Willowbud fielded that question. “Our nation, young as it is, is rather divided in some ways. The elven people are used to living aboveground in large, open communities, but the dwarven folk escaped the cold of the north below the earth. There were, and still are, entire groups that don’t like leaving their underground fortresses.”“Most have reconsidered things,” Tharval said. “The Storm Tower’s the shining jewel of the Snowlands. It’s hard not to want to be close enough to appreciate its lustre. Besides, you don’t think a building this grand could be built without reinforcing the ground beneath, do you? There’s nearly as much tower underground as there is above.”“Whoa,” I said. “How big is it, really? Because this place is huge already. It might be the biggest dock I’ve ever seen.”“Hmm, no, the docks back home are larger. Or some of them are,” Amaryllis said. “But none of them are enclosed. The best we have are airship ports tucked away in crags and between mountains. Even the shipyards tend to be partially open.” She gestured over the side of the nearest guardrail to the depths at the bottom of the tower. “It looks like you have entire factories here.”“Just for assembling,” Tharval said. “Most of the proper manufacturing is done by the coast and brought over by train. Then the shipwrights put things together down there.”Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.“You know, I never expected to see dwarves on airships for some reason,” I said.Tharval chuckled. “Oh, we’re awful at flying!” he said, seemingly quite proud of the fact.“I wouldn’t say awful,” Willowbud said. “Dwarves hold the records for longest flights, highest heights reached, and even the records for fastest flight.”“May Roberry the Rocket rest in peace,” Tharval said solemnly.“Dwarves are hardy folk,” Willowbud continued. “Tough and surprisingly nimble, and of course generally quite mechanically-inclined. But, ah, we elves have certain biological advantages.”“Tall bastards,” Tharval grunted. “Sneaky and quick too.”“We are more dexterous, as a rule, and perhaps better suited to the work of piloting modern airships,” Willowbud said. “Most Snowlander craft have mixed crews though, taking advantage of each others’ natural advantages.”“Oh, that’s clever,” I said. “But, ah, I don’t recall seeing many Snowlander ships about. And people say that the Snowlanders are a little isolationist.”Willowbud considered that, then nodded. “That’s probably not wrong. As a rule we’ve been focused on building a better world for ourselves, impervious to the cold and more recently there’s been a great push towards discovering new machines and contraptions.”“Lot’s of pride to be found if you’re the first to invent some new thingy-whatsit,” Tharval said. “Especially if it actually has a use of some sort. Now which one of these tugs is your ship?”I squinted across the docks, then pointed. “That one!” I said. It was still on the fifth level, where we’d left it. I could see tiny forms on the deck, some of the Scallywags, maybe? It was hard to tell from so far away.Tharval peered at the Beaver then back to me and Amaryllis. “What in the world is that?”“Uh, our ship?”“It’s got too many hulls!” he said.“I think it’s a neat design.”“Let me see this thing from up close,” he grumbled before stomping off. We jogged to keep up, the old dwarf surprisingly fast when he wanted to be. When we did catch up, he was waiting next to the catwalk leading onto the Beaver’s deck. “Well, going to give me permission to come aboard and poke at this thing?” he asked.I laughed. “Sure. Welcome aboard, Tharval, and you too, Willowbud!”The two stepped onto the Beaver, though Tharval didn’t linger on the main deck for long. He practically teleported to the rear, staring at the space between the decks and muttering up a storm. He even threw up his arms a couple of times.Awen walked onto the deck, looked a lot more awake than when we’d left. “Broccoli!” she said. “And Amaryllis.”“Nice to see I’m still mentioned,” Amaryllis muttered. Awen blushed, then smiled slightly and hugged Amaryllis first.“You’re my friend,” she beamed before turning to me and Willowbud. “Hello, Mister Willowbud,” she said with a slight bow.“Hello, Miss Bristlecone.”“Awa, please just call me Awen? You were uncle’s friend, so I guess that kind of makes you, um...”“A family friend?” I asked.“I guess so,” Awen said.Willowbud chuckled warmy. “Why thank you. I’d gladly consider myself your friend. Ah, but speaking of friends, Tharval might start taking things apart if we don’t stop him.”That got Awen to stand up straighter. “He’s going to do what?”We found Tharval in the Beaver’s engine room, poking at the engine with a wrench that Awen quickly yoinked out of his hands. “Interesting configuration you’ve got here. Terribly inefficient, but I’ll give you points for being different.”“The Beaver is a very nice ship,” Awen said. “He flies... well, and is very comfortable, even if he has a few little deficiencies.”Tharval hmphed. “Well, the engine’s much larger than what you’d need if the ship only had one of its two hulls, but probably too small for the twin setup you have. And I can’t imagine the bracing between the two being up to spec. There’s a bridge between the two halves. A bridge! It’s a wonder this thing isn’t falling apart under the strain of flight.”“I keep him well-maintained,” Awen shot back.Tharval snorted, but there was no denying that. The engine itself was covered in a nice layer of oil, but Awen had every tool tucked away in its place and she’d asked me to help her clean it once some time ago, so the engine compartment was basically spotless.“Awa, did you want to see, ah, my repeating self-loading anti-air emplacement?” Awen asked. “It’s illegal in most countries, from what I was told.”That necessitated a detour to the cargo hold where Awen’s repeating crossbow turret was still folded into the ship. Tharval hemmed and hawed over it, then started pointing to bits and pieces that weren’t well made, or parts that could be improved if approached from a different angle or with a different method.I left them to it while I ran off to fetch Caprica and see if anyone else wanted to come track down Vonowl with us. I found the princess in her room, dressed in a long blouse that we’d bought the day before and which I supposed could count as a nightshift.“Is everyone else awake?” she asked. Caprica looked like she had used every spare minute of rest afforded her, and like she could use another couple of hours.“We have been for a bit. Amaryllis and I went to fetch Tharval and Willowbud, and we’re going to invade a hotel later!”“Oh. Well, let me get dressed in something more appropriate for that kind of event then,” she said.“Okay! Join us on the deck when you’re done!”Calamity was easy to convince. There was trouble around, and he liked the idea of that, I suspect. And so, within a few minutes, the whole bunch of us were ready.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Six — Doorbuster
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Six — Doorbuster “So, how are we going to do this?” I asked.“Do what?” Amaryllis asked right back. The bunch of us, plus our new friends Tharval and Willowbud, were ambling along through one of the upper-level corridors of the Storm Tower. The elf and dwarf both seemed to know where they were going, so the rest of us just followed along, even if that meant going up stairs, then down stairs, then across catwalks, then through maintenance passages and even ducking through the backrooms of a shop at some point much to the consternation of an employee who wasn’t aware that one of the walls could pop out to reveal a secret passage.It was neat how well the two knew their way around, but I supposed they were around while the tower was built, so they had the home field advantage.“I mean, how're we gonna capture Vonowl. Do we barge into the hotel and demand that he surrender? Do we go in all sneaky-like and try to catch him unaware? Maybe we can ask the nice hotel people to help us get him... or the police. Does the Storm Tower have police?”“Not really,” Tharval said. “We have guards. They’re hired by the tower directly. They might help, but I doubt it. We never get along well with them.”“We might have if you ceased antagonising them,” Willowbud said.“Bah! They’re a bunch of rockheaded fools who sold out for a bit of gold.”“Is that so wrong?” Amaryllis asked.Tharval nodded. “Of course it is! Sure, you need a bit of gold to keep the belly full and your toes warm at night, but there’s more honest ways of doing it. Are they pursuing a dream? Fighting for what they think is right? Nah, just walking around with little sticks and looking tough. Ain’t right. Now, a proper explorer? They have principles. They’re going out there to see what hasn’t been seen yet, to discover things. Same for a proper tinkerer. They’re making new things, pushing what they know. It’s art, and it’s a whole lot more valuable than looking tough for a fraction of an ounce of gold every hour.”“Is it so important to have an ideology?” I asked.“Don’t you have one?” he asked.I ran my hand through the length of my prosthetic beard as I thought. “I don’t know. I just want to make friends, explore the world, and be happy. I don’t know if that’s complicated enough to be a whole ideology.”“Well, it’s the start of one, at least,” Tharval mused.“Don’t encourage her,” Amaryllis said. “She’ll start a religion.”I nodded. “Huggism,” I said.“I think I need to point out that while Sylphfree gives its citizens the freedom to express themselves and have whichever religious beliefs they want, we also firmly believe in the separation of religion, state, and military, and therefore I cannot join you in this particular endeavour,” Caprica said.“But we have hugs!” I said.“That is a rather tempting offer,” she admitted with a serious nod. Then her lips quirked up and I giggled along with her.“I’d join huggism,” Awen said. “It sounds nice.”“We’d do snuggle hour every day, and eat cookies,” I said.“I’m not sure if you understood what I was trying to say,” Tharval said. “But I appreciate your enthusiasm, kid.”I set aside my dreams of becoming a High Priestess of Hugs as we arrived at the hotel. I was expecting it to be a grand place, with big stairs and chandeliers and one of those super long counters, maybe with some elves and dwarves in fancy red uniforms behind it, but instead I found something entirely different. The hotel lobby was relatively small, with rounded walls all around and several plant-filled boxes along the sides.A small podium sat in the center where a staff member waited, and behind them was a spiral staircase leading up.“Hello,” the reception dwarf said when our group ambled in. “And welcome. How might I help you?”“Hmph, where’s that Vonowl guy?” Tharval grumped.“What my companion here means to say,” Willowbud cut in smoothly. “Is that we’re looking for Baron Vonowl. We have a meeting with him.”The reception dwarf didn’t seem convinced. He glanced over to my friends and I, and I gave him my most disarming smile, which I hoped would distract him from the fact that we were all armed. “Right, well, the good baron is staying in the penthouse suite, but he’s not currently in his rooms.”“He isn’t?” Willowbud asked.“No, he left the premises a few hours ago, along with some of his guards,” the reception dwarf said.“Do you know where he went?” I asked. Did we miss him because we stayed up late partying and then slept in? I didn’t expect there to be actual consequences to placing fun before work!“Yes,” the dwarf said. He pointed out the door, and we all followed where he was pointing. “He left through there, and took a right.”That was all the directions he had, which... well, it wasn’t quite as helpful as I might have hoped, but it was something. “Thanks, “ I said. Then I looked to the others, hoping for some sort of idea of what to do next.“I say we ransack his room, figure out where he went and maybe confiscate anything nice he has,” Calamity said low enough that his words didn’t carry.“We can’t do that,” I said. “It’s mean, and a crime, and just... not very nice.”“Well, we do need to know where he went, and there might be some hints in his room. I for one don’t want to spend the afternoon running around this entire tower just for the chance of running into Vonowl,” Amaryllis said.I pursed my lips, but she might have been right. Willowbud convinced the receptionist that we were just going to go upstairs to check on Vonowl’s room-maybe one of his guards or servants had stayed behind and could take a message for us-then we climbed up the spiral stairs to the floors above. As it turned out, each floor above the lobby was split into several small rooms, and the further up we went, the fewer rooms per floor.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.The entire hotel was basically a small tower rising out of the larger Storm Tower complex, and the topmost floors stuck out if it and probably had really nice views.Baron Vonowl himself was staying in the topmost floor, the penthouse where the entire floor was a single suite. I imagined it was a huge pain in the butt for the staff that had to carry food and stuff all the way up there. My legs were rather warm from climbing up so many steps and all I was carrying was myself, not a trayful of whatever.“So,” I said as I came to stand before the doors into the penthouse. “Should we knock?”“Going to try to pass yourself off as a travelling preacher?” Calamity asked.“I might,” I said. “But I think Baron Vonowl might be, uh, what’s the word for someone that’s not compatible with a religion?”“A heretic?” Amaryllis asked.I frowned. “No, in Huggism, we prefer the term snugglepunk.”“Please stop inventing lore for your dumb idea,” Amaryllis begged.I had to stifle a laugh as I tapped my knuckles against the door. My friends spread out a little, with Willowbud and Tharval staying pretty close by. The dwarf stifled a yawn.Someone opened the door a crack and a chain pulled taut, keeping it shut while a harpy man looked out. “Is this room service?” he asked. Then he looked over our group and the door started to shut.I was about to say something when I felt a gust of wind blasted past me. When I blinked next, the door was rebounding off the wall, the security chain had exploded into fragments that were skipping along the wood flooring, and the insensate harpy on the other side was gently being lowered by Willowbud while Tharval, now in the penthouse, finished his yawn. “Well, are you kids going to stay outside all day?”I had kind of forgotten, what with how nice they were, that Tharval and Willowbud were experienced explorers. They hadn't retired from adventuring due to age or injury — they'd quit while they were ahead, at the top of their game. They were bursting with levels, skills, and capital-E Experience.So, I shouldn't have been surprised that they could simply step outside the realm of physical limits. But I was. My brain couldn't keep up with the information my senses were feeding it. It took an act of will to get my head back in the game.For better or worse, my friends were equally stunned. Caprica seemed to be handling it best, probably because she had grown up surrounded by Paladins who were about as cool.Calamity jerked forward, seemingly trying to recover his equilibrium. "... This guy really likes his luxury stuff," he noted, running a hand along a porcelain vase. The whole place was spacious and richly appointed, with grand windows overlooking the top of the Storm Tower and the world beyond. In a place like the tower, where I imagined most homes were on the smaller side, having lots of open space was probably a great luxury.Calamity poked at the keys of a piano, producing a few random notes while I checked on the guard that Willowbud had knocked out.“Mah, nice place,” Tharval said as he looked around. “No sign of that fish of a baron though.”The penthouse had a great big entryway, with an open kitchen space to one side, a living room on the other, and what I imagined were bedrooms down a corridor past the living room. Caprica helped me drag the guard to the living room (he still had a pulse, but it looked as if Willowbud had cast a spell of some sort to make him loopy) where we put him on a couch so he could rest for a bit.“Alright,” Amaryllis said. “Calamity, check the kitchens, Caprica, come with me to the bedrooms, Awen, Tharval, do you think you two would be able to spot hidden compartments?”“Ah, maybe?” Awen said.“Obviously,” Tharval replied.Amaryllis nodded. “Good. Broccoli, keep an eye out on the door. Mister Willowbud, I wouldn’t presume to tell you what to do.”“Hey now, but you’d presume for me?” Tharval groused.“Yes,” Amaryllis said without explanation, then she headed off towards the bedrooms, Caprica following after her while hiding a smile.I grinned at Tharval’s harrumph and Willowbud’s smug smirk. “Don’t forget to look in the bathroom!” I called out, just in case.I swished Weedbane around a few times while standing next to the closed door in an attempt to unlimber my muscles in case someone barged in. If I was going to be on guard duty, then I wanted to take it seriously. Mister Willowbud looked at me, amused, but didn’t comment on anything.“Awa, we found something!” Awen said as she returned from the bedrooms.“There was a hidden compartment?” I asked as I turned.“Um, no, these papers were just on a desk in the office,” Awen said as she waved a stack of papers about.Amaryllis poked her head out of one of the bedrooms. “Well, what is it?”Awen looked at the pages, scanning them quickly. “It looks like a contract? For, ah, weapons. Lots of them.”Willowbud hummed and walked to Awen and looked at the pages from over her shoulder. “I recognize that company. They’re dwarven smiths. Tharval would know more.”“He’s cracking a safe,” Awen said.There was a loud ‘thunk’ from the far end of the penthouse where she’d come from, then a lot of really rude words.“He might be having a hard time with it,” Awen admitted. “But I found this in the meantime and I thought it might be a hint?”“Good job, Awen!” I cheered.“Yeah, nice work!” Calamity said from the kitchen, where he was holding a butter knife covered in jam in one hand and a large slab of bread in the other. I gave him a look, and he shrugged. “I was looking for hints too. And I discovered a hint that I was hungry.”Well, at least we hadn’t wrecked the place.There was another big thump from the office and the guard on the couch groaned.I winced. Maybe if we left discreetly, the hotel wouldn’t be too angry with us?
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Moral Fiber
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Moral Fiber We gathered up all the clues we could find, as well as the contents of the baron’s safe, and spread them out on the dining room table.It wasn’t much, really. A few dozen papers, some forms, and a neat stack of gold coins, bank notes, and little ingots with numbers and seals stamped onto them.“So... we’re not going to steal the money,” I said.“Why not?” Calamity asked.“Because stealing is wrong,” I explained. He didn’t seem entirely convinced, but I felt like Caprica and Amaryllis, at least, were on my side. Willowbud too. Awen seemed a bit ambivalent about it, and Tharval was just as willing to pocket the gold as Calamity was.“Setting aside the gold for the moment,” Amaryllis said. “We need to consider the other things on the table here.” She stabbed a talon at one of the pages. “This is the order for weaponry that Awen found, and I for one think it’s rather concerning.”Tharval tugged the page out from under Amaryllis’ grip and squinted at it. “Hrm, I know this group. Bunch of money-grubbers with no artistic sense, but they know how to hire good folk and pay them what they’re worth. This is an order for four hundred automatic repeating crossbows. That’s enough to outfit an army.”“Or two battalions of an army,” Caprica said. “But those are the kinds of weapons you want to keep out of the hands of angry civilians. They’re easy to learn how to operate and are difficult to fight against. A strong enough soldier will brush off a bolt and someone like a Paladin wouldn’t be easy to hit in the first place, but still...”“I wouldn’t dismiss these things so easily, missy,” Tharval said. “These aren’t little sylph bolt throwers. These are proper dwarven bows. They’ll punch through rock and fly faster than a lightning bolt.”I hoped he was exaggerating a lot there.“Four hundred of those is concerning,” Awen muttered.We all nodded.“I dunno. If it was to equip hunters or the like it wouldn’t be that big a deal. It’s mostly concerning because of who’s getting them,” Calamity said. “Anything we can do about that contract?”Tharval squinted at it, then grinned. “Well, says here he’ll be needing to pay in instalments, and they’re not cheap. So if we take that there gold, he won’t be able to afford a single one, let alone four hundred.”“So what you’re saying is that it’s the morally correct thing to do to take his gold,” Calamity said while nodding to himself.“We’re not taking the gold. Stealing is wrong,” I repeated.“As wrong as breaking and entering, subduing that guard back on the couch and... well, we stole from his pantry already,” Calamity pointed out.I pouted. He was a little bit right, but I didn’t want to push things. Doing one bad thing didn’t give someone the right to do another, no matter how much someone might dance around the logic. “We’re not taking it, please,” I said.Tharval and Calamity rolled their eyes, proving that they were pretty alike in at least one way. “Alright, what else do we have?” Amaryllis changed the subject. She tapped a small pile of pages. “These are the docking forms for Vonowl’s ship. It’s in a private, exterior dock now, which might explain why we never spotted it within the tower.”“Private docks are fairly common, though they’re far more expensive than the tower docks. They’re the only option for larger ships and certain well-to-do persons like to keep their ships away from the common airship,” Willowbud said.“And some hobbyists rent out private spots to park their ships in,” Tharval added. “So that they can tinker with them in peace. It’s a common enough practice. There’s airship-racing and endurance runs and a number of sports that require a ship, usually a small one that can operate with a minimal crew or solo.”So like people who had boats on Earth. There were some people who had lots of money and who bought a yacht and then some people who just kept a little boat as a sort of very expensive hobby.Not the kind of hobby my family was into, or that we could afford. Our budget was more suited to gardening and long walks.“That doesn’t seem like very useful information, although maybe we can impound the vehicle before he makes another escape,” Caprica said.“That’s a good idea,” Amaryllis said. “But there’s more. See, he has two more ships that he’s paying the docking fees for. Their names are... a series of letters and numbers. They’re barges. I think Pyrowalkian?”“Terrible ships,” Tharval grumped. “No artistry, mass-produced chaff that’s as likely to fly as it is to fall apart around your ears. Cheap though.”Amaryllis huffed a ‘we’re better than that’ kind of huff. “Maybe the good baron is running out of funds. Or he just doesn’t care. In either case, he has two more ships he might use to escape with.”“Give me their names, please,” Willowbud said as he tugged out a little notebook from a pouch around the waist of his armour. “I have enough sway, I think, to have the vehicles interdicted before they can leave. Or at least have them be part of a surprise inspection before takeoff.”“Ah, I know a person or two that handles that kind of thing,” Tharval said. His smile was downright predatory. “We can make sure that the inspection is quite thorough. They’ll find something that’s not up to one of those damnable codes.”“You don’t like safety regulations?” Awen asked.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.“I like them when they stop others from being morons. I don’t like them when they get in the way of my genius,” Tharval said.I suppressed a giggle.“So, what do we do now? Are there any other hints we can work with?” I asked instead. Some of the papers hadn’t been touched.“Well, these are letters back to the Harpy Mountains. Some of them are correspondence that might hold a few secrets, I haven’t had time to read them all. The rest are letters to family. His mom is worried about him.” Amaryllis rolled her eyes, but I thought it was rather sweet.Even bad guys could have nice moms.“Maybe we ought to write her ourselves,” Calamity said with a grin. “Tell her what her boy’s been up to. I mean, sure, we’re gonna try to get him arrested and all, but there’s nothing like a disappointed parent to put your mood down. Trust me, I’m an expert at that.”“At disappointing your parents or feeling down?” Amaryllis asked.Calamity paused, then shrugged. “Both?”“As interesting as that idea is,” Caprica said. “It seems a little too infantile for my tastes. Perhaps we can come up with a plan to actually deal with Vonowl before we start think about adding insult to injury?”“Ah, he’s going to come back here, right?” Awen asked. “This is his room.”“Unless someone warns him,” Amaryllis pointed out. “He’s shown that he’s willing to run before, so we can assume that he might try to run again.”I nodded. “In that case, we’ll go and confront him.”“And where would we go for that, exactly?” Amaryllis asked. “I can think of several places he might be, and that’s not including the possibility that he’s in transit or that he has friends in the Storm Tower who can shelter him.”“I don’t know, I didn’t spend too much time with him, but he doesn’t seem like the type of person to have a lot of real friends,” I said.“Wow, that’s... painful coming from you,” Amaryllis said.I felt my cheeks warming up a little. That had been kind of a mean thing to say, hadn’t it? Maybe I was turning into a mean kind of person? Were my friends bad influences?No, that couldn’t be it.“A-anyway,” I said. “Maybe we could split up, go to all the most likely places to find him?”“And then what, have only one or two of us there to confront him?” Caprica asked. “I don’t doubt the combat prowess of anyone here, but the baron will likely have guards and he might be in a place that’s public where starting a fight could lead to some trouble with the locals that would be best handled as a group.”I reached up and tugged on my droopier ear as I thought, but before I could come up with anything, Calamity had an idea.“Let’s just stop that weapon shipment,” he said. “Even if we don’t get the baron we’ll have to stop it in any case, and we can tell the folk selling those crossbows to fetch the baron for us. Two birds with one arrow.”My friends and I glanced at each other, and when no one had a better idea, we decided to give it a go.We filed out of the hotel-after putting the money back, I checked. We made sure the guard on the sofa was okay. He had come to a while ago, and Calamity untied one of his arms and gave him the leftovers of what he’d made in the kitchen as a snack so he wouldn’t go hungry while untying himself.We happened to encounter the reception dwarf on the way down. “He wasn’t there,” I said with a shrug.“I... yes, I’m aware,” the dwarf said. “I heard some commotions above?”“Nothing much, we didn’t break anything, I don’t think.” I smiled to reassure him. “Don’t worry! If there’s any trouble, you can direct it to the Exploration Guild.”“Ah, yes, of course,” he said before squeezing himself out of the way.We continued on down the stairs for a bit, and Amaryllis piped up almost as soon as we were out of the receptionist’s hearing range. “Wow, Broccoli, that was almost devious.”“Huh?”“Shoving all the blame onto the guild like that,” she said. “I was worried when you started talking that you’d just admit to ruining Vonowl’s rooms.”“But we didn’t ruin them,” I said.“I left a mess in the kitchen,” Calamity said.“I cut up the mattress to see if there was anything hidden in it,” Caprica said. “What, I read about it in a novel.”“Ah, we kind of... broke the wall around the safe,” Awen admitted.“And the safe too!” Tharval added.I pressed my hands over my face. “I’m a liar. A liar and a manipulator.”Amaryllis patted me on the back. “It’s okay, as long as you’re not lying to or manipulating me.”“I wouldn’t!” I said. “Not on purpose, anyway.”We left the hotel without any of my friends commenting on my realisation that I was slowly turning into a terrible person. Fortunately, we soon started to talk, and I was able to put that out of my mind for the moment. Maybe I was just being a bit silly and overdramatic. A bit of breaking and entering and theft wasn’t that big a deal, was it?With Thrarval and Willowbud leading our group, we descended another staircase, boarded a trolley filled with so many people that some were hanging off the side, and continued on deeper into the Storm Tower on a circuitous route towards the weapons company.When we arrived at our destination, we paused and took in the front of the shop.It was a grand thing, with a massive ballista on a platform to one side and several oversized swords and spears behind glass on the other.Above, in hard iron letters, was the name Thorade’s Munitions.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Pay for It
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Eight — Pay for It We walked into Thorade’s Munitions’ and discovered the front lobby was empty.Or at least, empty of people. There were lots of things to poke at and see. The walls had racks and racks of different tools of war. Most of these were crossbows and the like, with one wall displaying individual bolts with a variety of mean-looking heads.There was a counter to one side laden with teeny-tiny miniature ships that had teenier-tinier ballista on them, clearly as the focal point of the models, as if to show prospective ship captains the kinds of armaments they could buy here for their own ships.“Oh,” Awen said. She pointed to something and I followed her finger to a wall with diagrams.“What is it?” I asked.“That kind of repeating crossbow mechanism? That’s what’s at the front of the Redemption,” she said. “It must have been made here.”“Hrm,” Tharval said. “That’s the little skiff tied up in your airship? Then that’s possible. Thorade’s Munitions make cheaper gear, but the quality isn't terrible. Plenty of smaller ships carry a couple of their emplacements.”That made some sense, I figured. “Do you know anything else about them?”Tharval stroked his beard, then shook his head. “Not much. Respectable mid-level crafters. Good at mass-producing things. Not the most ingenious bunch, but they’ve made a decent thing or two.”Right, that made sense. The dwarves especially seemed really fond of mechanical workings.Just then, a dwarf stepped into the room from the back. They looked a bit frazzled, with tufts of beard sticking out this way and that. They paused on seeing us, scanned over our entire group, then locked their attention onto Amaryllis.Then, they let out the kind of sigh that only someone working in customer service could before muttering, “another one,” under their breath.“Hello!” I said, summoning up as much good cheer as I could. “You look a bit busy, but, ah, we had a question or two.”“Hello, and welcome to Thorade’s Munitions. We’re a little busy at the moment,” they said, trailing off leadingly.“We’re looking for a Baron Vonowl,” I said.They winced.“To arrest him.”That cheered them right up. “Oh, really?” they asked. “Well, I can’t imagine what the good baron has done, but I can lead you right to him.”I blinked. "Wait, he's here? Now?""Yes indeed!" The dwarf seemed unable to contain his grin. "Please, follow me!"He began striding toward a door labelled EMPLOYEES ONLY.I traded glances with my friends. Awen and Caprica looked surprised, while Amaryllis was grinning viciously and Tharval rubbed his hands together."Well, let's not keep the poor kid waiting," he said. "We came here to stop Vonowl from buying weapons, and the easiest way to do that is to deal with him before he can buy them, isn't it?"That got us moving.As soon as we crossed the doorway, the nice veneer of the storefront disappeared. Pretty stone flooring was replaced by metal grating and the walls lacked any decorations other than posters of scantily clad dwarves using their beards to cover themselves up and gazing at the viewer in ways that made me blush and look away.The main factory floor of Thorade's Munitions was a busy, loud space, with dozens of dwarves and a few elves working big, complex machines. It smelled nice though. A lot of the ballistae they made had wooden frames, and a whole section of the shop floor was dedicated to woodworking, so despite the dusty air, the scent of freshly sawn wood was pleasent.We passed a machine that seemed entirely built to raise up an anvil-sized hammer and sent it down onto a car-sized anvil, and another which consisted of a whirling mess of interlocking gears and spokes just asking for someone to stick their fingers in.I imagined that they didn’t have much by way of safety regulations in the Storm Towers. Or if they did, they weren’t being applied here.We found the baron, as well as a pair of harpy guards and a small gaggle of unhappy dwarves standing at the back of the shop.Vonowl was kicking up a fuss, wings flapping as he hurled a lot of not-very-nice words at a shorter dwarf, one with a long dark beard densely woven with beads. The dwarf's stern face and twitching eye told me they didn't appreciate the Baron's spittle-heavy style of debate.“Thorade!” the dwarf guiding us said. “We have more guests.” They were clearly working hard to mask some of the glee in their voice.Thorade, who seemed to be the one Vonowl was lecturing, looked over our group with brows knit and mouth set in a frown. Then they spotted Tharval and Willowbud and their eyebrows rose up.“I’m quite busy at the moment,” the baron said. “I’m sorry, but your business with Thorade will have to wait.” He looked me right in the eye, then turned back to the dwarf he was talking to.Did he not recognize me?I was a little upset, actually. I thought I was a pretty memorable kind of person. Oh well, that was okay. Maybe not being recognized just then was for the best?“I’m sorry, Mister Thorade,” I said. “We didn’t mean to intrude or anything.”Vonowl snapped around and glared at me.Oh! He recognized my voice!"You moron!" Vonowl spit out, "Can't you see that this is a lady?"Or maybe he didn’t. I was having a lot of highs and lows at the moment. “Um... actually, I’m really bad at telling dwarves’ genders apart.”He sniffed, then pointed to Miss Thorade’s shoulders. “The hips and shoulders on a female are wider. They’re very slightly shorter as well. And, of course, the hair of a female dwarf’s beard is curly, whereas that of a male tends to be straighter. How can you not know this?”“That’s... actually really helpful, thank you,” I said.“As thanks you can leave me to my business,” he said offhandedly before turning back towards Miss Thorade."Um, actually, our business is with you," I said. “See, uh, we want to arrest you? Please?”The baron paused, then turned to give me a stare. “You what?”“You really don’t recognize me?” I asked. “Last we saw each other was at that big tower with all the pirates working with you. You’d kidnapped a bunch of nobles and stole a few ships, and I was there with my friends and the sylph army? This was only like, a few days ago.”You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.Vonowl narrowed his eyes at me, his feathers ruffling up. Thorade threw some sharp glances between us, and my friends all spread out behind me.Miss Thorade gave the baron a very hard stare. “Pardon me, baron, but when you mentioned that you wanted my equipment for the purposes of pirate defence, did you mean defending against piracy, or were you planning on using our bows to defend the pirates?”"Are you accusing me of lying?" he snapped at her. "Don't listen to these fools. The noble house of Vonowl would never stoop to piracy." He turned back to me. "And you! What is this slander? Arrest me? I've done nothing wrong.""Well," I began, "You did kidn-""Stop lying!" he cut me off. "You whiny little rabbit-eared child! I strive only for the betterment of harpykind, and I won't let you stand in the way of that! If you're talking about arrest, then I ought to have you imprisoned for defaming my good name!"“Oh, shut up,” Amaryllis said. “Your name’s good for nothing.”He squinted at her. “Who are you?”That got Amaryllis to bristle quite prettily. “Me? I’m Amaryllis Albatross, you feather-brained incompetent.”I had never been happier in my life to hear Amaryllis drag someone into a bickering contest. Very deliberately, I refocused on Miss Thorade. “Sorry, you don’t mind if we arrest him, do you?”The dwarven lady tugged at her beard, but then shook her head. “No. My Business Sense was hinting that I wouldn’t be paid by this man, in any case. Though you are distracting my workers.”That was true, I noticed a number of heads poking up from around and above the various machines in the shop. It seemed that even dwarves were keen on being busybodies when there was good gossip about.“We’re sorry for the likely loss of this contract,” Willowbud said. “Is there anything we can do to help?”“You’re Willowbud, aren’t you?” she asked. “And that makes the irritable grump next to you the infamous Tharval.”“Infamous is still famous, whelp,” he grumbled at her.She sniffed. “I heard that you’re insane, with the occasional flash of genius only a madman would dare to have.”“Hear that, Bud, I’m a genius.”“Yes, that was the part of the statement that really caught my ear,” Willowbud replied. “In any case. We should take the baron somewhere a little more discreet, I think.”“Where?” I asked. “We don’t exactly have cells on the Beaver.”“Bah, we have cells at the Exploration guild,” Tharval said with a dismissive shrug.There was a pause."Um, why?" Awen asked. It seemed like a very sensible question to ask.“Because some of us aren’t good with our drinks,” he said. And that seemed enough explanation for the rest of my friends. Except for Amaryllis, of course, who had devolved her argument from a catty back and forth to a tirade of insults which was gaining in loudness with every mention of someone’s hatching and the quality of their plumage and ancestry.I patted her on the back. “Hey, it’s okay, we’re going to arrest him now.”“Arrest implies a certain amount of legal authority,” Caprica said. “This is more of a... citizen’s detention.”“But we’re not citizens here,” Awen said.“A... non-citizen detention. You know what, I’m just going to work hard to not think of things in legal terms for a while. I feel like doing that might be bad for my mental health.”“That’s the spirit, princess,” Calamity said.Seeing as how we were more or less all in agreement, I turned to the next potential source of problems. The baron’s guards. “Hi,” I said to the two. “I know that you’re basically being paid to take care of the baron here, but we kinda need to take him away for a while. And we’d much rather not have to fight.”The two bodyguards looked to each other, then to our group. I imagined that even though we were mostly a friendly bunch, we might have been a teensy bit intimidating, under the right light.“Also, your boss is broke,” Calamity added. “Unless nya got paid in advance? No? Oh, that stings. Well, live and learn, huh?”I walked up to the baron, and then patted him on the shoulder. He flinched back. “Don’t touch me,” he said.“Oh. Well, okay. But only if you agree to walk ahead of us and not kick up a fuss. You’ve done some very mean things and I think we should do something about that.”“If you want, my boys can whip up a pair of cuffs or fetch some ropes real quick,” Thorade said.“You’d betray me, Thorade? After I brought you so much business?” Baron Vonowl asked.“You haven’t paid me yet either,” she said.I made an itty-bitty mental note to make sure I paid people in the future, because it seemed like not doing so led to people being rather unhelpful.The baron protested quite a bit as we tied his wings up against his sides (Amaryllis suggested against tying them to his back, harpy shoulders not being the same as human ones, apparently). We wondered about gagging him for a while, mostly because he was being extremely vocal about... well, everything, but that felt a little rude, especially when the only thing we could gag him with were the socks that Calamity volunteered with rather more glee than appropriate.With the baron all tied up, we pushed him along ahead of us. Willowbud apologised to Miss Thorade, who charged us a token sum for the ropes, and then we were off.Crossing the Storm Tower with a rather unwilling, tied-up baron in our midst, one who constantly shouted about how we were scoundrels, kidnappers, and other more vile things, was a little tricky.We tried to stick to less popular routes, but that only helped so much.What helped a lot more was the strange amount of authority Willowbud could exude whenever he wanted. I had to wonder if it was a skill when we ran into some guards and he persuaded them that this was all Exploration Guild business and that they should keep on doing their jobs... but elsewhere.“Once we have you in a cell,” Amaryllis said. “We’re going to have all sorts of questions for you.”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Polite Friction
Chapter Three Hundred and Seventy-Nine — Polite Friction The elf receptionist at the Exploration Guild didn’t even bat an eye when we came in dragging a seething noble and asked to put him in a cell. He merely asked if we wanted to be discreet about it or if one of the more public cells was fine.I think it was a little weird that the Exploration Guild had a secret dungeon, but it also had a secret workshop that we’d seen already, so really it wasn’t all that surprising.Baron Vonowl continued to protest as we dragged him through a sliding bookcase (We had to get one of those onto the Beaver Cleaver) and plopped him down in a cell.The rest of us gathered on the far wall of the prison space, none of us really comfortable with all the strange devices and racks and sharp implements laying on tables and hooked to the walls. At least the room was well lit, even if the light was all red and flickery and felt a lot like it was chosen more to set the mood than to make it easy to see.Tharval gestured to the baron, then turned towards Willowbud. “Well, do your thing,” he said.“My thing?” Willowbud asked.Tharval tugged at his beard. “That’s right. Your thing. Get the idiot to tell us what we want to know.”“Ah, that thing,” Willowbud said with a nod, then he shook his head. “I don’t want to do that thing. There are children here.”“We’re not children,” I said. I was sixteen, which was pretty firmly not the age of a child. My friends were all about that age too. Maybe Calamity was the oldest... or maybe it was Caprica, it was hard to tell. In any case, none of us were children.“In any case,” Willowbud said, and I felt as if I’d just been dismissed. “We won’t torture the good baron, use any hard social skills on him, or push him too hard. We aren’t as cruel as that.”“You're cowards, then,” the baron snapped from inside his cell. He was rubbing his wrists and glaring out at us. “You mush-brained cretins! You think that you can just dump me in some cell and forget about me? Fine then. Do that. I won’t be the first of us locked away, and I won’t be the first to find his way out of a cell either.”“Are you talking about Rainewt?” I asked.“Do you think you can convince me to talk?” he asked right back.“Honestly, I wonder if we could convince you to stop talking,” Amaryllis said. That had the baron glaring even harder. He really didn’t like Amaryllis.“Disgusting, no-good brat. You have no idea how good you had it, do you?”“Is this coming from a baron?” Amaryllis asked. “Please, tell me how awful your life as lesser nobility was. Did someone with more clout than you mock you? Wait, no, someone probably just pointed out the truth, and you couldn't handle it.”“As if you’d understand, little Albatross princess! You and your filthy family sit near the top, driving our fine nation to ruin!”I stepped up between the baron and Amaryllis. “Okay, guys,” I said. “Insulting each other won’t help any, I don’t think. It’s not very friendly behaviour.”“Shut up, you half-breed.”I blinked, then decided to let that pass. The Baron wasn’t in a very nice place in his life at the moment, and and while that wasn't a reason to forgive being mean, it did explain it a little. “Alright, alright, enough with the name-calling and the insults, please? Amaryllis, you’re a good girl, don’t be like that. And Baron Vonowl, it’s not very noble of you to fling insults around.”“What would you know about nobility?” he asked.“Well, I’ve hugged a bunch of them,” I said.The baron blinked, a little confused for some reason.“Ah, should we ask him questions while he’s here?” Awen asked.“Isn’t it good enough that he can no longer be used by Rainnewt to cause any harm?” Caprica asked. “The time he spends in a cell is time he can’t be disruptive.”“But what if he did something disruptive already?” Awen asked. “He was buying weapons, but what if he bought other stuff? And besides, where were those weapons going in the first place?”We all turned towards the baron, who took a small step back at our collective look. “Well, Mister Baron Vonowl,” I started. “Do you think you could tell us a thing or two about all that?”“I’m not telling you anything,” he bit out.“What if we say please?” I asked.Ding! For repeating a Special Action a sufficient number of times you have unlocked the general skill: Politeness!I jumped as Mister Menu-who I hadn’t seen in a while!-popped up in front of me as a little blue box.“Broccoli?” Awen asked.“I got a skill,” I said.“Interrogation?” Willowbud guessed. “Though we haven’t really started with that. It’s a useful skill to have. I could give you some tips.”“No, Politeness,” I said.That stumped the elf.“What kind of harebrained skill is that?” Amaryllis asked. “Refuse it, of course.”“You can do that?” I asked. I could've avoided all the trouble with Cuteness! “I’ve never refused a skill before, they just slot right in.”“World spare me,” Amaryllis said. “No wonder you’re so... anyway, Politeness doesn’t seem like the most useful of skills, Broccoli. You’re hardly impolite to begin with.”“I know some people who could have used the skill,” Caprica said. “But I do agree, it doesn’t seem immediately useful. Is it a class skill?”“A general,” I said with a shake of my head.PolitenessRank F — 0%The ability to appear as a polite, respectable person when desiring to.“The description isn't all that helpful,” I said before repeating it aloud.“That really doesn’t seem like a very good skill for you, Broccoli,” Awen said.“Yeah, but I haven’t gotten a new skill in so long,” I said. “Why this one now? Shouldn’t I have gotten this the first time I said please and thank you? Wait, do I not say those often enough? Have I been impolite until now?”Stolen novel; please report.Awen patted my head. “You’re not impolite, Broccoli,” she said.“Okay, okay,” I said. “It doesn’t matter, I guess I’ll just level it passively in the background, and maybe it’ll turn into something handy!”Ding! Four of your current skills are eligible for Merging: Dancing, Tea Making, Matchmaking, and Politeness!“Oh!” I said before I tried to grab Mister Menu in a quick hug. He, of course, ducked out of the way.“What is it now?” Amaryllis asked.“Why do you people spend time with this clown in your midst?” Baron Vonowl asked with a gesture at me.“She’s our leader,” Awen explained.The Baron reeled back. “She’s the one in charge? Are you all so stupid that none of you are better? Why would you let her be the leader? She's incompetent!”I deflated a bit mid-lunge to catch Mister Menu. That was very mean.“She’s competent enough to capture you,” Caprica pointed out, which did a number on the Baron’s self-esteem, judging by how he flinched back.“Ignore him,” Amaryllis said. “He’s proven time and time again to be an idiot.”“Nya shouldn’t listen to idiots,” Calamity said with a nod. “It’s why so many folk ignore me.”I nodded along too. “I won’t let the mean words bring me down, I’m not fragile or anything. Anyway! I got a merge skill! It’s Politeness, Dancing, Tea Making, and Matchmaking together.”“What’s the end result of that?” Amaryllis asked. “Four skills merging all at once is quite something.”“Uncommon, though not unheard of,” Willowbud said. “You seem to have a lot of social skills if you have enough that they can combine that way.”“Ah, thanks,” I said. “I didn’t really make any effort to pick social stuff though.”I poked at Mister Menu to see what the confluence of all those skills would be. It was a good question.Do you wish to Merge Dancing, Tea Making, Matchmaking, and Politeness to unlock theSocial Butterfly skill?“Huh, it’s the... um?” I paused when Amaryllis tapped my shoulder.“Not in here,” she said. “Hold off on that for a little bit? We can talk about it and pick a good option once we’re back on our ship. You have more than just friends in this room.” She nodded her head towards the baron stewing in his cage.“Oh, right,” I said. I adjusted my clothes to make sure they fit on right, then smiled at the baron. “So, are you ready to talk yet?”“You haven’t even started the torture,” he rolled his eyes. “All that you’ve done is reveal your complete lunacy.”I wondered if harpy had a species-wide disposition towards insults, or if it was more of a cultural thing. No wonder they’d been having such a long-standing argument with the sylph.“We’re not going to do anything like that,” I said. “We just want to know a few things. Why you were buying all those crossbows, where you were sending them, what the plan was with kidnapping all those nobles, what your relationship with Rainnewt is, that sort of thing.”“We know why he kidnapped the nobles,” Amaryllis said. “It was to force the sylph to release Rainnewt from custody.”“Ah, but they kidnapped them before Rainnewt was captured,” Caprica pointed out. "And Rainnewt didn't strike me as someone who thought he was likely to be captured, so it probably wasn't a preemptive plan."Amaryllis frowned, then nodded, conceding the point. “Fair enough. Then it was either for the ransom money, or for the potential to destabilise things.”“Or he just did it because he could,” Calamity said. “This guy doesn’t strike me as smart enough for long-term plans.”“Are you trying to get me to divulge things by insulting me? You’re a million years too young for that to work, dog.”“Dog?” Calamity asked as he stood a little straighter. His ears twitched. “I’m not a dog, I’m a cat, you overfluffed turkey.”“You know nothing!” Baron Vonwol said. “And once the proper authorities find out what you’ve done to me, you’ll be finished. There will be no room for fools of your calibre in the future that Rainnewt and I are ushering in, and even if you remove me, I was just some small cog. We don’t need those weapons to ruin that wedding, and we don’t need my presence to ensure that everything nonetheless goes according to plan. Do you think us unable to deal with a few minor setbacks?”“Wedding?” a couple of us asked at the same time.The baron’s mouth clicked shut, and he looked away. Pouting didn’t become him, but he was doing it anyway.We poked and prodded at him a little more, but from that point on, he just crossed his wings and refused to speak any.Eventually we gave up. There was no pushing the baron past a certain point. Willowbud said he’d take care of the baron for a while, but we couldn’t really hold him forever. We didn’t have the right and what we were doing was a teensy bit super not-okay legally.“So, what wedding was he talking about?” I asked.“It would have to be an important one,” Amaryllis said. “Caprica, any ideas?”“I don’t know of any approaching royal weddings, I can tell you that much. None of the bigger nobles either. Maybe an earl or two? Weddings aren’t uncommon, but I imagine Rainnewt would be after something big.”“Don’t look at me,” Calamity said. “Most of the weddings I’ve been to have been more about the shindig than anything else.”“Well, maybe we can listen around?” I asked. “The baron bought hundreds of weapons, that’s a lot for a wedding of all things.”Something was up, and we didn’t know nearly as much as we needed to, even if we had the baron in custody. It felt like no matter what we did, it just wasn't enough.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty — The Wedding Trackers
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty — The Wedding Trackers We regrouped in the parlour on the floor above, where the older members of the Exploration Guild were gathered around, drinking and reminiscing and doing whatever it was old folk did when they were put together in a room and left to their own devices.“So, what does that leave us with?” Caprica asked.“It leaves you with a potential location,” Willowbud said. “An unspecified wedding, presumably somewhere on the continent.”“Har har,” Amaryllis said, clearly unamused. “That wedding could be anywhere. We’re not exactly tied into the social networks of most countries, so if it’s going to take place in the Trenten Flats or the Harpy Mountains, then we won’t know for a good long while.”“Ah, we have a timetable,” Awen said.We glanced at her.“The weapons need to arrive, right? So we know that Rainnewt’s plan probably involved waiting for them to get there. When were they going to be shipped?”“It looked like the Baron was hard at work nagging the manufacturers to move faster,” Caprica said. “Good point, Awen, that does give us a small window. We know this wedding probably isn’t tomorrow. The further out it is, the further away the wedding will be, to account for the weapon’s necessary travel time.”“Not that helpful,” Calamity said. “Uh, no offence meant, Awen. Good idea and all, just we still don’t know the when.”“We could ask the crew of the ships the baron hired. That’ll give us a more accurate picture,” Amaryllis said. “Unless those guys have already left town. Or if they were planning on transferring the goods to another ship along the way. It might still give us a rough heading. Not every port ships to every location, so we can probably assume the most convenient routes are the ones Vonowl was planning on using. That barely narrows it down.”Willowbud shrugged. “We’ll continue to question the baron.”“Bah, bring him to the forge, I’ll roast that chicken for a few hours and then we’ll see if he talks,” Tharval said.Willowbud patted the dwarf on the head, which seemed to really insult him. “No Tharval, we won’t torture the idiot noble, no matter how tempting. When our adversaries sink, we swim.”I listened to the conversation going on around me, the back and forth and the friendly bickering, and I just soaked it all in. It was tense, but not bad.While my friends talked, I debated over Social Butterfly.The skill seemed really nice to have. It was what I aspired to be, in a way. A person who could make friends easily. Maybe I didn’t want to rely too much on a skill for that, but it didn’t seem too dishonest to have a bit of help. After all, my other skills also helped me make friends.Cleaning helped by making it so that I wasn’t stinky when I met new people, for example, and that was important for socialising and I wouldn’t consider it a cheat.Losing some of my other skills for Social Butterfly would hurt a little though. Matchmaking’s... matchmaking part wasn’t super interesting to me, but the way it helped with small fire spells was nice. Tea making was a great buffing skill, even if I probably didn’t use it to its full potential.Really, the big loss was Dancing. It was, strangely enough, one of my main combat skills. It allowed me to have a more sure footing and to dance around opponents and predict their moves. It was super useful!Then again, I had Way of the Mystic Bun now, which did something similar.It would also free up some class skill slots. Dancing was a Cinnamon Bun Bun class skill, Tea Making was a Wonderlander skill, and both Matchmaking and Politeness were generals. With one new skill I’d open up three slots for new, shinier skills.And then there was the winged elephant in the room.Would Social Butterfly eventually give me butterfly wings?I looked at Caprica, who had big, fluttery faerie wings on her back. They were pretty, a translucent, pale-blue film stretched over spar-like veins. They reminded me a little of stained glass. Careful and delicate and obviously very magical. Caprica might have been a rather tiny woman, but she still had to weigh too much for those wings to give her lift.Maybe?High school physics class was a while ago. Still, I remembered that thing about bee wings not being able to lift them up, even though they clearly did anyway. Maybe this was something like that? Or maybe it was just magic.In any case, I wouldn’t mind being a bun with wings!“Broccoli?” Awen asked.“Hmm? Oh, sorry, I was distracted by something. What’s up?” I asked.“Ah, we were going to go get some food,” Awen said. “Me and Calamity.” She waved a little piece of paper around. “Did you want something?”“Oh? I’ll go with you!” I said. “Need to get my daily skips in any way, and I could use a walk.”“Sure!” Awen said with a genuine little smile. “I wouldn’t mind having you along.”I bounced out of my seat and followed Awen to the door, where Calamity was waiting while spinning his hat around on one finger. “Nya coming along too?” he asked. “Less to carry then!”I laughed. “I mostly want to move a bit.”“That’s fair. I don’t mind a pinch of planning, but some of our friends back there like talking more than they like moving, I think. Amaryllis and Caprica both.”“They’re not so bad,” I said.He shrugged. “I’ve known worse. Just I’m more of a doer, nya know?”“Mhm!”Was I a doer?Do you wish to Merge Dancing, Tea Making, Matchmaking, and Politeness to unlock theSocial Butterfly skill?"Yeah," I said to Mister Menu. I was a doer, and that meant taking concrete steps toward being the best friend I could be. Mister Menu popped away with a soap-bubble ‘plop’ and I felt myself shift slightly with my next step. My balance felt oh-so subtly different, as if the bounce in my step had changed in quality.Where do you wish your new skill to be placed? Cinnamon Bun Bun, Wonderlander, General Skills?Oh, that was something to consider, wasn’t it?“Wonderlander,” I muttered. I was planning on getting this skill up a few levels, so that only made sense!New Skill added!Skills consolidated!Skill Points refunded!Oh! I had to check on the difference that made for my skills!
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
14
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
5
Age
16
Health
155
Stamina
175
Mana
155
Resilience
70
Flexibility
85
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 08%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 40%
Adorable
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 29%
Social Butterfly
F — 00%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 77%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 92%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
D — 100%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
2
Wonderlander Skill Points
5
General Skill Points
3
First Class Skill Slots
1
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
3
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.That was a lot of room for new skills, and I got back that one skill point from Wonderlander that I could now use on my brand new skill! Well, once I got it up a smidge. But that wouldn’t be too hard, I figured. I was nothing if not social, so I’d have plenty of opportunities to grind that out. I excitedly checked out my new skill.Social ButterflyRank F — 0%The ability to flit from conversation to conversation and make the best of any social situation.Oh, that sounded like just the perfect skill!Now all I needed to do was to start doing cool stuff so that I’d eventually unlock cool skills too!“So,” I said as I started to aim to practice. “What did everyone order?”“Ah, mostly Tharval suggested that we try this one place nearby,” Awen said. “It’s a dwarven pub? Um, he ordered steaks.”“I want me some of that steak too,” Calamity said. He licked his lips and I could almost see the drool there. “These dwarves know how to eat.”“Willowbud also suggested this elven place. It’s a saladhouse,” Awen said. “I thought you’d like that better.”“Oh, yes, I would,” I agreed. Steak was nice, but it wasn’t worth the tummy ache. I had to start testing other foods. I couldn’t live off of just pastries, pastas, veggies, and fruit.Well, I suppose I could, but variety was the spice of life, and eating tons of yummy things made me a happy bun. I was always at my happiest when surrounded by friends and with my tummy so full I could barely walk.That was hard to achieve with salad.On arriving at the Exploration Guild’s lobby, we were greeted by the same receptionist elf as usual. He nodded to us cordially. “Heading out?” he asked.“Just to grab some food,” I said. “I guess we’re all a little hungry.”“If you wish, we have people we can send out for that. The more experienced members can be a little demanding at times, so we keep a few very young members around to foist off all the undesirable tasks onto.”“Ah, no, it’s okay,” I said. “But thanks!”“No problem,” he said. “If you’re ever looking for suggestions on where to eat, then just ask, I’m usually well-connected.”I paused. “You are?” I asked. “Hey... you wouldn’t happen to know of any weddings going on soon?”“Weddings? A number of them, yes. Did you mean of Exploration Guild members?”I shook my head. It wouldn’t be someone in the Storm Tower. “No, I meant more... someone important outside of this country, maybe? Like in the Harpy Mountains, or in the Trenten flats? Like a king getting married or something, maybe?”The receptionist's eyebrows perked up. “Well, let me see. There’s an eligible princess in Pyrowalk who has become famous for refusing suitors. I suppose she might have found someone agreeable. But that’s far to the east. There’s a rich noble daughter missing from Mattergrove that’s sparked some controversy. And there’s a duke in the Trenten flats due to be married.”“Oh, that one,” I said.He nodded. “The wedding is in nine months, I think.”“Oh... maybe not that one,” I deflated.“The only other wedding I’ve heard of recently is the big one in Port Royal.”I perked up. “Port Royal? In Deepmarsh?” I’d been there! Twice, even. It was where I’d joined the Exploration guild and met Amaryllis.“That’s the one, yes. The grenoil city, though it has turned into something of a city state recently. The Deepmarsh government still tax people and run amenities, but there’s a dragon ruling over the city as well. Several of them, in fact. It’s one of them who is getting married, from what I’ve heard.”I felt an electric shock zap through me, and a look to Awen showed her as wide-eyed and surprised as I was.Spinning around, I launched forwards, ignoring the elevator to bounce up the stairs a flight at a time.“Hey! Wait!” Calamity called as he ran after Awen and I. “What’s going on?”At the top, I burst into the room with the rest of my friends, the door cracking open next to me. “Guys!” I said.“Are they outta steak?” Tharval asked.I took a deep breath. “Booksie’s getting married!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-One — Beauty and the Dragon
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-One — Beauty and the Dragon “Wait, really?” Amaryllis asked.“Who’s Booksie?” Caprica asked as well.I took a second to calm my pitter-pattering heart. “She’s a bun friend of mine! We helped her on her first, uh, sorta dates! I think it must be her wedding that's being targeted! It has to be! And Rainnewt would know about it because it’s happening in Port Royal!”“Wait, back up a moment,” Amaryllis said. “Where did you learn about this wedding?”“The receptionist. Oh shoot, the food.”“Nevermind that,” Amaryllis said. “You heard that Booksie is getting married? To Rhawrexdee? When’s the wedding?”“Well, not exactly that, but I think that’s what’s happening. It makes sense. Well, some sense. It’s a bit fast for a wedding, if you ask me. But yeah! We need to go to Port Royal.”Amaryllis huffed a ‘calm your horses’ huff. “That hardly sounds like a confirmation to me, more like a suspicion at best.”“Well, yeah, but if it’s real, then I wanna be there. I bet she’d allow us to attend.” I gasped. “We could be bridesmaids!”“You’re getting about twenty steps ahead of yourself,” Amaryllis said. “First we need to confirm if there’s really a wedding going on, and if it actually is Booksie’s, then... Well, Port Royal isn’t next door.”Awen and Calamity stumbled into the room behind me. “What?” he asked.“You think Rainnewt will go after this Booksie friend of yours?” Caprica asked.“Maybe,” I said. “It would make sense.”“Is she important?” Caprica asked.“She owns a nice little bookstore,” I said.She didn’t look impressed.“But her boyfriend is Rhawrexdee, and he’s a whole entire dragon,” I added.“A dragon,” Caprica said, her tone seemingly completely dead. “A dragon. As in a large, fire-breathing, magic wielding, apex predator, Sylph-snacking dragon?”“Yeah,” I said.“And he’s marrying... a bun?”I nodded. “I think they’re very cute together.”“No, we don’t know how they make... things work,” Amaryllis said, without actually enlightening anyone about what she actually meant. She patted down her feathers and shook her head. “In any case... I don’t know what to think about this. If you’re correct, Broccoli, then it might mean some serious trouble.”“I don’t know, if Rainnewt is trying to kill a dragon, I say let him,” Caprica said.“Caprica!” I gasped. “How could you say that?”The princess just seemed entirely confused. “What do you mean? What part of that was so controversial? Either Rainnewt succeeds, in which case one less dragon will terrorise the skies, or he fails and is turned into dragon chow.”“Hmm,” Tharval grunted. “Wouldn’t want to fight a dragon myself. Though... I might be able to think of a way or two to make the fight a little more fair.”“Yes, you keep thinking about those things, as long as they stay thoughts,” Willowbud said.I ignored the two of them for a moment. “Caprica, Rhawrexdee is a friend. So is his sister Cholondee, and even their mom, though I don’t know her as well.”“They’re dragons, Broccoli,” Caprica said. “Do you know how most interactions between a sylph and a dragon ends?”“Uh, no?” I asked.“It ends in the dragon’s stomach.” She crossed her arms. “Dragons have their own language, you know. And in their tongue, we’re known only as ‘snacks.’”I recoiled. I didn't know that. My autotranslate let me speak and understand Dragon perfectly, but it didn't provide any kind of explanation for the words. While speaking it, I could easily call a sylph a snack and not even realise it. But ... yeah, that kind of etymology might make sense for a dragon. When I’d met Rhwarexdee way back in Rosenbell, he was planning on burning down the town and eating the townspeople, which are objectively mean things to do. Still... “I... I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I think that maybe even dragons can grow past their own instincts for princess-kidnapping and town-burning. It might not come naturally to them, but I think that dragons can become friends too, you just need to try.”“Well, we have a history of trying with dragons,” Caprica said. “Goldenalden is dragon-free, and has been for two generations now. Whenever a lizard so much as looks at one of our peaks, we teach them a valuable lesson about the strength of sylphs. It took centuries to rid ourselves of the last dragons who wanted to make our mountains their home. Unlike the harpy, we never settled for appeasing them.”“So, you’ve never met a dragon yourself?” I asked.“Of course not,” she said.“Well, maybe you should? I’m sure they’re not as bad as you think. They might be... a little bad, sometimes, but they can be reasoned with.” I winced. My argument wasn’t very convincing when the other side was basically ‘but they ate us.’“Caprica’s cultural hang-ups aside, we do need to address this,” Amaryllis said. “If Rainnewt crashes that wedding in particular, then it might start exactly the kind of war we’ve been trying to avoid all this time. I can picture it now already. He hires some mercenaries. Sylph, cervid, harpy, whatever, arms them with the best Snowlander crossbows they can afford, and they make a mess of the wedding which, if it does occur in Port Royal, will be attended by dignitaries from all over. Then the dragons will retaliate, and they might not be as ... precise with their retaliation as we would hope.”“Precise?” Calamity asked.“If they think Rainnewt is in a particular city, they might just burn the whole thing down then wait for him to come out of the ashes,” she said. “For a creature of their scale ... that might make a crude sort of sense. They’re not sized for the cities of most civilised people. They can either ask the authorities to work with them, which has a small chance of success, or they can burn everything and wait to see if that worked.”If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.“That’s... not good,” I said. It was something of a massive understatement.“Very not good, yes,” Amaryllis agreed.Caprica nodded. “My point stands then, dragons are no good.”I pouted. “But Rhawrexdee let us fly on him. Did you ever fly while riding a dragon before? It’s really cool!”“I’d rather fly with my own wings, thank you very much,” Caprica rebutted.“I think we should go,” Awen said. “We should be there. To stop Rainnewt if he tries something, and to be there for Booksie if not.”“I’m down for a dragon wedding,” Calamity said. “Bet they’ve got great food.”Caprica gave him a very stern look, and Calamity winced out an apology.Amaryllis rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “Fine. Yes. We should try to be there, even if I’m not sure what we could do to help. We’ll have to cross through the Harpy Mountains to get to Port Royal in any case. So we might be able to toss the baron out to some proper authorities as well. Or... no, that’s not clever. Let’s inform the authorities of in the Harpy Mountains, then let them come pick him up. I’d rather not have to keep him onboard the Beaver if we can avoid it.”“We can keep him here,” Willowbud said. “It wouldn’t be a big imposition, and I’m certain that after a few days of commoner food our dear baron will crack. But I don’t know if you have a few days to wait.”“Adventure doesn’t wait for you,” Tharval complained. “Best you kids get going. You’ve got half a continent to cross to get to Port Royal. Hmm... is that place still filled with frogs?”“You mean grenoil?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s mostly them. I don’t think it’s very nice to call them frogs.”“Bah, one of my best friends was a frog,” he dismissed. “But Willowbud’s right. You’ve brought enough excitement around here. About time you scamper off to the next spot of trouble. And get that weird ship of yours out of my docks while you’re at it.”I didn’t let Tharval dismiss us so easily. He got his share of hugs, and then I glomped onto Willowbud too.We might have been in something of a sudden hurry, but there was no point in rushing out the door and not saying our goodbyes properly.“Stay safe out there,” Willowbud said. “It’s a long flight from here to Port Royal, and there’s plenty of room for things to go sour along the way.”“They’ll be fine, you worrywart. They’ve got each other to rely on, don’t they?” Tharval said.I nodded along. The dwarf was right. As long as we had each other, we’d figure things out.With a final few hugs (to spread Huggism) we left the Exploration Guild and headed back onto the confusing streets of the Storm Tower.“We’re going to have to come back here,” Amaryllis said.“Hmm? Why’s that?” I asked.“Because we haven’t seen half of what this place has to show. It’s not fair that we have to leave so soon.”I laughed. “I didn’t think that you’d get so caught up in the spirit of adventure,” I said.“I did join the Exploration Guild for a reason beyond the pragmatic, I’ll have you know,” Amaryllis said. “Now that I think about it though, we’re rather terrible members.”“We are?” I asked.“Broccoli, we haven’t taken a mission in months,” Amaryllis said.I blinked. That was true. “We were busy with other things, I guess. Maybe some of the stuff we did could, ah, retroactively count as exploration?”“I could draw up a sloppy map of the plains, and maybe of that pirate tower,” Calamity said.“See,” I said. “That could count, right?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Well, whatever. We have been doing important work, so I doubt anyone would actually begrudge us the time spent outside of exploring. Plenty of people treat guild membership as a sort of privilege instead of as a career.”“Ah, I think what we’re doing is a lot like what uncle did,” Awen said. “He just went around and found things. At least, that’s how a lot of his stories started. With him hearing strange rumours and then heading out with an expedition to find out what they were about.”“Well, I want to go around and find people that need friends, and see cool things, and meet cool people,” I said.“Hmph,” Amaryllis said. “I suppose I want to discover new magics and make a name for myself.”“Ah, I guess... I just want to become strong,” Awen said. “And maybe see a bit of the world, the way Uncle did.”“Are we doing mission statements?” Caprica asked. “Is this some kind of rousing speech?”“Just play along!” I said as I bumped hips with her. “It’s fun!”“Fine then. I suppose I want to see the world a little as well. Away from the obligations and restrictions of my lineage. And... I wouldn’t mind growing stronger either, to impress a certain someone.”“Well, ny’all have got some fancy wants and such,” Calamity said. “But I’m just along to eat new foods, see new sights, and beat the stuffing out of new stuff. Oh, and make it rich. That too.”Amaryllis huffed, unimpressed. “The least complicated of us, aren’t you?”“Ny’up!”I laughed, then bounced ahead of my friends, ears and beard flopping with every step. I had a lot of fun in the Storm Tower, and in the Snowlands overall, but yeah, I was ready to keep moving.I wondered, for a moment, if I was getting some sort of wanderlust addiction. That would make it hard to settle down in the future.But then, I could just live the rest of my life aboard the Beaver Cleaver, surrounded by friends and always on the hunt for the next adventure.That sounded like a blast, actually.“Broccoli, wipe that smile off your face, your face will get stuck that way,” Amaryllis said.“Hah! I don’t care!” I proclaimed. “Come on, you could stand to smile some more too, you big grump!”“Ah, this is nice,” Awen said.And it was!
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Two — Southbound
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Two — Southbound “Sails are checked, fuel bunker’s at full, the engine’s purring like it’s brand new, and I’ve greased everything that’s supposed to move and bolted down everything that shouldn’t,” Awen said all in one big breath. “We’re fit to fly, Captain Broccoli.”I nodded, then turned to Clive. “Scallywags and the boys are at their stations, capt’n,” he said before clicking his pipe into place between his lips.Adjusting my hat, I looked across the Beaver Cleaver’s deck. My friends and crewmates were all assembled at their posts. The Scallywags, Oda, Joe, and Sally, were ready to tug sails into place. Steve was with Gordon by the mooring line. Awen, of course, was nearby, wearing a rather stained set of overalls with some tools looped into her belt.Calamity stood by as well, willing to help, but clearly not sure how, and Caprica was similarly lost. That was fine, we’d show them how to do a thing or two to keep the ship in tip-top shape.Our ship's cat, Grand Admiral Orange (Retired), was snoozing on one of the figure heads, as she was wont to do, and Amaryllis...Amaryllis came out from the lower decks and turned to glance up to me where I stood by the poop deck’s wheel. “Stowaway check complete,” she said. “We’re clear.”Caprica shot me a look at that, but she didn’t say anything, not before I grinned and started barking orders. “Alright! Let’s go, everybun! Lines away! Engines to quarter speed, Clive. Amaryllis, signal the tower that we’re taking our exit now, please. Keep those sails in tight until we’ve cleared the docks!”The Beaver’s deck became a hive of chaotic activity for a moment, and I did what I could to help direct it.Really, I wanted to be down there helping, but Clive had told me that someone keeping others on task was sometimes more important than having one more pair of hands on deck. Plus from up here, I could tell where the help was needed and could keep an eye out for things beyond the ship itself.The Storm Tower’s massive internal dock was filled with literally hundreds of ships, so there was a lot to keep an eye on as we moved out of our mooring and into the tower’s centre. It was hard to tell who had the right of way at the best of times, but fortunately, the dwarves and elves of the Storm Tower had devised a system using flashing lights and magical holograms to indicate who could move and who had to stay still.I kept glancing at that until our turn was up.“Alright, we’re climbing,” I said. “Slow and steady Clive, this isn’t a race.”“Aye aye, capt’n,” he said as he adjusted another lever with a satisfying clunk.The Beaver lurched slightly, then started to rise up past the other levels of the dock. We started to spin a little, I noticed, probably because of all the shifting winds within the microclimate of the tower. “Gordon! Deploy the aft sail to half!” I called.“Aye!” he replied before adjusting the sail. It slowed the spin down considerably, and I gave a satisfied nod.We crested out of the domed top of the tower, and with a bit of power to the Beaver’s engines, we pushed forwards and out into the open midday sun.I laughed as a cool wind from the north swept across the deck and took with it the heavy industrial scent that filled the Storm Tower. The crew cheered, but we quickly got back to work. The traffic here was no less busy just because it wasn’t confined within the cramped tower.“Direction?” Clive asked.I glanced at the ship compass built into the railing far from anything metallic. “Current heading is east-south-east, take us due south, please,” I said.Clive nodded, then spun the wheel a little. The rudder creaked and the engine rumbled beneath us, shaking the entire deck with an all too familiar purr.Speaking of purrs, I glanced down as I felt something around my leg, and noticed Orange had moved from the front of the ship to be closer. Had the cold ruined her nap spot? I scooped her up into my arms and let her tuck herself into my chest for warmth.The next few minutes were all about adjusting sails and trim, getting the engine going at a nice comfortable thrum, and lowering our altitude a little to something more reasonable to let the high-flying traffic of the Storm Tower by.Once everything was set up nice and neatly, I charged Calamity with keeping an eye out for approaching ships and left Clive at the wheel. Amaryllis was gesturing me closer and I descended from the poop deck to join her on the main deck where she was holding a folded-up map firmly, so as to not let the wind snatch it away. She held out the map for me to see. "We're here," she said, her talon tapping a little symbol representing the Storm Tower."Alright," I nodded.She traced a line all the way down, along the western edge of the Harpy Mountains, and finally around to Port Royal, at the very south of that mountain range. “That’s our destination. We have at least two, maybe three weeks of travelling ahead of us.”“We’re going to do it all in one go?” I asked.She shook her head. “I wish, but no, we don’t have the fuel for that. I think our best bet would be to make our first stop by Codwood. It’s a small settlement, or maybe a colony? It belongs to the Endless Swells. It’s not too far off from here. We can top up on fuel then head to Inkwren, which is an independent city.”“Alright,” I said as I followed her trajectory. It still brought us in a more or less straight line south. “Why not somewhere closer to the Harpy Mountains?”The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.“News and fuel prices, mostly. And the mountains might be a slightly straighter path, but they’re harder to navigate. The winds are treacherous, and we’ve had pirate problems on the Harpy Mountain borders before.”“Ah, we wouldn’t want that,” I said.She looked at me. “No, we would not, Broccoli.”I cleared my throat and abandoned my dreams of aerial battles... for the moment. “Anyway, after Inkwren, we make for Port Royal?”“If fuel allows. We could stop by the capital. I think you’d enjoy that. Or keep south and refuel at Cherryhold, though the fuel prices there are obscene.”I nodded along. “We’ll figure that out once we’re closer. It’ll depend on how much time we have until Booksie and Rhawrexdee’s wedding, too.”“I plan on learning that as we travel further south. You can bet that kind of news will be travelling north as well,” Amaryllis said. “We just have to hope that we’re going to get there on time. If we heard about it here, then the news has been out for a while. Weeks, at least.”“And Booksie is moving fast with her wedding plans,” I agreed. How long had she been dating Rhawrexdee for? Two, three months? Maybe a little more? That was almost scandalous! My mom told me that I could only marry someone if I had her and my dad’s approval, and we had dated for at least five years! And even then, nothing more exciting than hand-holding could happen.Which was weird, because my mom and dad were both hippies, and I thought that meant they were a lot more open about that kind of thing.“I think the closer we come, the more accurate the news. Let’s focus on getting to Codwood first. It’s a small settlement next to the unimaginatively named Blue Lake. Shouldn’t be hard to find, the lake’s quite large.”I looked at the map again and spotted Codwood. It was a bit east and lots south of us, but there were a few rivers coming out of the lake, or heading into it? In any case, if we went eastward and found one of those, we could follow it to Codwood and not risk getting lost as much. “Alright, I’ll get us heading in the right direction,” I said. “Can you replace Calamity on watch in about an hour?”“I can, you need him for something?”“I’ll be too busy to cook,” I said. Calamity was actually a surprisingly good chef when he felt like it. Years of making grub at different hunter camps, or so he said, made him something of an expert when it came to making simple, hearty meals.He was better than most of us at cooking, at any rate. Maybe he had a general skill for it? I’d have to ask.“Fine,” Amaryllis said. Her own cooking skill-or lack thereof-was a smidge of a sour point for her. “Call me if you need help charting our course again.”“Will do,” I said.I returned to the wheel, taking over from Clive so that he could refill his pipe and take a bit of a break while I navigated us away from the Storm Tower. The further we went, the fewer ships were in the air. It was very apparent once we flew past the limits of the city and its many suburbs and little farming communities. The air traffic went from bustling and kind of scary to only a few scarce ships dotting the sky to the east and south.The eastward traffic was probably from Sissifin, the Snowland’s second largest city, and the rest probably came from Stormshark, though that city was coastal, so I imagined more freight was probably moved over water instead of through the air?Of course, I was just speculating. However, that sounded about right. I knew air travel was faster, but it also came with hard limits on weight and a higher cost overall for fuel and crew and ship maintenance.A sea-going ship in poor repair wasn’t great, but it would probably not sink. An airship in poor repair was a disaster.Fortunately, the Beaver Cleaver was not only the nicest ship in the sky, he was also in good shape, what with Awen always being hard at work fixing all the little bits and bobs that wore out and broke.I had to think of a cute gift to give her for all her hard work. Maybe some tools or something?No, it wasn’t usually a good idea to get someone a hobby-related gift, not unless you also know a lot about the hobby and what that person in particular needed.Maybe we’d see what they had in Codwood! I was looking forward to seeing another new town! One from a nation whose towns and cities I’d never even visited before.“Hey, Clive,” I said.“Hmm?” he asked.“Ever been to Codwood?”He nodded. “Small place. Or was, about six... seven years back. Growing at the time, though. Lots of trouble with the cervid, I think.”“Oh?” I asked, ears perking at the sound of potential trouble.“Tensions, ya know?”I bet I could help with that! Plus it would be nice to practice with some of my new skills. I’d just unlocked Social Butterfly by merging a bunch of skills, and I’d barely used it yet. So hopping my way into a heap of social trouble seemed like a great way to grind the skill.“You’re having what lady Albatross would call ‘ideas’ again, aren’t ya capt’n?” Clive asked.“Huh? Oh, no, just planning ahead is all!” I said. Fortunately, Cleaning magic was great at wicking away sweat.I refocused on flying the Beaver straight and true and keeping an eye out on the skies for any signs of trouble.It would take a day or two to reach Codwood, so maybe I could use that time productively. I wasn’t grinding my skills as much as I could recently, and with all the adventures we were having, well, it would make sense to make sure I was at the top of my game!No more lazy buns! It was time to get to work!... But maybe only after supper.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Three — Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Three — Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum Of all my friends onboard the Beaver Cleaver, exactly one of them had actual combat training, and she was the one kicking my butt across the deck with surprisingly little mercy.“Ouch,” I said as I stared up at the airship’s balloon from the floor. The wood was rather rough, but it felt nicer than my tummy did at the moment.“Come on,” Caprica said. “You won't improve by laying on the floor.”“I know,” I said. “But maybe it’ll start hurting less?” Still, despite my protests, I rolled over onto my front and climbed to my feet.Caprica and I were on the port-side deck of the ship, with a nice big circle marked out for us with rope to let anyone know that they shouldn’t get too close. Not that there was much traffic. The winds had basically died down for the afternoon, and we were sailing with only the engine pushing us along, and even that wasn’t running at full power to conserve fuel for later.It wasn’t a fast pace, but it wasn’t a bad one either, not when the weather was so calm.Early in the morning, we had spotted that river I was on the lookout for, and after turning to line up with it, had started towards the Blue Lake. It would take another day or so of sailing to reach it and Codwood, or so we figured.That was plenty of time to work on our hobbies and maybe get some training in!I wasn’t a very good fighter. So far I’d muddled my way through, mostly because fighting was... actually, kind of fun, in an exhilarating way. I still much preferred talking my way out of trouble, and I didn’t want to hurt people or get hurt. Still, when Caprica offered to spar I took her up on it. Amaryllis had had a turn with the sylph princess first while I did captain things, and now it was my turn to be tossed around the ring.I bounced on my feet a couple of times and shifted my shoulders. “Are you ready?” I asked.Caprica nodded and shifted her stance, making herself even lower.We were unarmed, dressed in loose shirts made of a coarse, rough-hewn fabric and baggy sailors' pants cinched around our waists.It was weird seeing Caprica in something other than a proper uniform or princess-y gown, but she insisted that wearing such things for exercise was foolish.“Alright,” I said. “You better watch out, I’m gonna come at you like... uh... Broccy Bunchboa!”“Who?” Caprica asked.But it was too late, I was charging ahead to cut the distance between us. I swung towards her head while lowering my stance a bit. I didn’t want to get thrown again!My swing, of course, missed entirely, and Caprica was somehow spinning around my arm and catching my ankle with her leg.I hopped on the other leg, then reached out to grab her, but that turned out to be a mistake. Caprica came in close next to me and punched me under the ribs.We were, of course, holding back a lot. No full-strength punches or even hard kicks, no aiming for the face or eyes or crotch, and any sensitive bits.It still hurt a lot when she smacked me though, and I stumbled back with a cough. That was a mistake. Caprica capitalised on my stumble, grabbed me by the wrist, and then used me like a Broccoli-sized jungle gym, her legs wrapping around my head in a chokehold.But I had a neat way out of those!I used Proportion Distortion, flooding my body with mana and turning myself into a much smaller Broccoli Bunch.Caprica flopped down, no longer hanging off of as I slipped out of her grip. Then I reversed the skill and embiggened myself while grabbing onto her shoulders to pin her to the deck. “Got ya!” I cheered.Too soon, because Caprica folded her legs up and kicked up with both of them, the soles of her feet smacking me hard on the chin.The world faded to black in the corners and I found myself laid out on the deck again, a concerned Caprica leaning over me. “Are you okay?” she asked.“Yeah,” I said. Then I worked my jaw. “Ow?”That had shaved off a couple of health points for sure. “Ah, I didn’t mean to strike you so hard. I’m sorry. Doesn’t your skill make you tougher?”“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Maybe? It makes me a lot heavier.”“Ah, but not necessarily stronger,” she said with a wince. “Well, that was a learning moment, at least.”I rubbed at my jaw some more, and regretted taking off my prosthetic beard. It might have cushioned the blow a little. “Are we done fighting yet?” I asked.“Have you gained a fighting skill?” she asked.I pouted. “No.”“Then that’s your answer,” Caprica said as she stood and gave me a hand to help me to my feet. “We can still take a break and get you something to drink, at least.”I nodded along, happy for the offer.I’d complained the night before about my skills being a little all over the place, and once Caprica discovered what skills I did have, she insisted that I needed at least one proper martial art.Way of the Mystic Bun sorta counted as that, I figured, but Caprica said that it was less a martial art and more of a gimmick, since it focused more on deflecting magical attacks than actually dishing out damage. She felt that would make it hard to defend against multiple attackers, which is why she wanted me to learn a ‘proper’ martial style instead of the more floaty, bouncy bun style.She also explained to me that there was a difference between being prepared to fight, and actually knowing how to do so, and that I just wasn't doing myself any favours by having multiple skills that weren't necessarily related to each other. She pointed out that maybe next time I'd see an actual threat that couldn’t be dodged or handled by Way of the Mystic Bun.She told me that she knew a few styles from her time in the military, and that she thought I would benefit greatly from training with them.Which is what led me to spending so much time on my butt.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
14
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
5
Age
16
Health
155
Stamina
175
Mana
155
Resilience
70
Flexibility
85
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 09%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 40%
Adorable
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
1
Proportion Distortion
C — 34%
Social Butterfly
F — 48%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 78%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 93%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
D — 100%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
2
Wonderlander Skill Points
5
General Skill Points
3
First Class Skill Slots
1
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
4
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.I actually had a free skill slot in Cinnamon Bun Bun, which was great! And I had four whole General slots opened up too, which were taking a while to fill up.“Ready to keep going?” Caprica asked, “or are you going to stare at your stats for a while longer?”“Ah, wait, let me grab something to drink first,” I said before hurrying off. Once I was all hydrated up, I returned to the ring and prepared to face off against Caprica again, but this time she shook her head and walked over to me instead.“No, this isn’t working. Well... it is, I suppose, teaching us both how to put some things into practice, but you seem to mostly be trying things without any form behind them. I think your skill is easing you into some patterns, but it’s not a conscious thing. I’ve seen this before.”“You have?” I asked.“Of course. I went to the world’s finest military academy for two years. I saw plenty of people fighting and sparring and the like. Some of the instructors liked to point out the difference between someone skilled and someone who had a skill.”“Uh, I think I understand,” I said. “So, someone can be good at cleaning, even if they don’t have Cleaning?”“Essentially. A skill will allow you to push past the limits of what you could normally do, but being skilled at something will harmonise with your skills and result in superior overall ability.. A person who has a great martial arts skill might have an edge, but someone who doesn’t but who has practised for a long time has personal experience, and that counts for a lot. My school, of course, taught some basics regardless.”I nodded along. It made some sense. Coming from a world without that kind of thing, I was still used to thinking of skills as a bit of a cheat. They were fun, of course, and super useful, but they also made the impossible... kind of mundane.Of course, cheating came with a big negative connotation. It was wrong and unfair, but in this world, everyone and seemingly everything had access to the same system, so it would be strange not to use Dirt’s system to improve yourself.“Alright, so now what?” I asked.“Now I’m going to show you a few simple motions and takedowns,” Caprica said. “We’ll have to adjust them a little. They’re for sylph, and we’re usually practising against each other or someone much taller. You might have to face smaller opponents. Then again, you do have the ability to shorten yourself a little.”I nodded along. “Okay, that makes sense.” Caprica wasn’t the shortest sylph girl I’d met, and she only came up to about bust-height on me. Sylph weren’t as short-or stout-as dwarves, but they weren’t too far off.Caprica demonstrated some moves, and I tried my best to follow along. That didn’t work out as planned, but she was patient and showed me how to do things right. I felt like I was progressing pretty well, especially with a teacher, but after a couple of hours and still no new skill, I figured that it wasn’t quite enough to unlock anything.I was still pretty happy about everything, even if I’d earned a couple of new bruises from it all.“I think... maybe a small break for a light lunch,” Caprica said.I nodded along. It was approaching lunch time. “Are you going to continue after?”“I... suppose so. I don’t want to sound pitiful, but this is the first thing I’ve found I can do on this ship that fits my skill set.”I hugged her. “Don’t be silly, you’re not useless, you’re a friend,” I said.Caprica chuckled. “I know, you’ve reminded me plenty of times. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m essentially a stowaway as well, and I want to pull my own weight. If that means giving self-defence and combat lessons to anyone who wants them, then so be it.”I nodded along. I could sympathise with that. “Maybe we can get the whole crew in on it? The Scallywags are good in a scuffle, I think, but they don’t have any formal training. Same for most of us, actually. I don’t want us to have to know how to fight, but with the number of pirates we’ve been bumping into lately....”“Indeed. Amaryllis said that this ship is a trouble magnet.”“It’s not that bad.” I laughed and clapped my hands. “Now, my appetite’s been opened up in a big way! We should get some grub!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Four — Small Town Charm
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Four — Small Town Charm It was not long before we found ourself flying out over the Blue Lake, and realized that we'd went right past our destination, Codwood. Fortunately, we knew the town was the only major settlement on the northern shore of the lake, so it wasn't hard to spot it from the air.I felt kind of bad as I looked over the Blue Lake. When I’d first read the name on our map I’d imagined that the person who named it was rather lazy, but as it turned out, the lake was really blue.Really-really blue, like the sky at its brightest when it was without a single cloud. And that wasn’t the case right then. It wasn’t exactly overcast, but there was more white above than blue, and the lake didn’t seem to care much about that at all.It was even glowing a little in parts along the shores, but from way up in the air it was impossible to tell what was producing the blue light.We spun around and flew back north. By then we’d burned through nearly half of our fuel. Unfortunately, with the winds being mostly calm the day before, we had to push the engine a bit harder for a while, so we weren’t flying as efficiently as we could be.We were pretty sure that Codwood had a port and could refuel us though, so we weren't worried.The first I saw of the town really did make it seem like a little place. There were some three dozen buildings right up against the shore, with a rather extensive dock reaching out over the very-blue waters. Little fishing boats were berthed there, with more of them currently out over the lake.The closer we approached, the more I saw that much of the town was hidden within the woods behind it. Homes were spaced wide apart, with plenty of trees growing up next to and around them. Strangely, there seemed to be some sort of glowing going on in the woods that made up the town.One of the Scallywags pointed towards the airship dock, which was a rather modest space next to the town not too far from a quaint lighthouse painted a brilliant red. A pair of ships were parked there already, both a little smaller than the Beaver Cleaver. It didn’t look like they had room for ships that were much bigger than we were.I could make out small figures ambling over to the docks with the occasional glance above. They didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry, which was fine. I let Clive take the wheel and helped set the ropes and pull in the sails as we coasted lower and lower.Soon, the uppermost parts of the docks were even with the Beaver’s deck, and we tossed out some ropes to grab on. A few workers on the docks grabbed the ropes and tied us in place, and once we were firmly lashed in, Clive shut down the engine and the constant rumble under my feet that I’d grown used to after a few days faded away.I was eager to get off the Beaver and visit a new place, but I had my captain’s hat on and it was my responsibility to make sure everything was in tip-top shape before we headed out. That meant making sure we had fenders out between the Beaver and the hard edges of the dock and that everything was properly secured.One of the locals dropped a gangplank over to the deck, but he waited for everything to be squared away before approaching onto the very edge.“Howdy,” he said. He was an older gentleman, in a thick button-up and with a cosy scarf against the chill in the air. He smiled as I stepped up before him. “Permission to come aboard?”“Granted,” I said. “Welcome aboard.”“Welcome to Codwood,” he replied. “Are you folk traders, ah, captain?”“Ah, I’m Captain Bunch, and this is the Beaver Cleaver,” I said. “And no, we’re not traders, we’re explorers, mostly, mister, ah...”“Erel, but everyone calls me Mack.”“Oh, okay Mack,” I said. “Call me Broccoli then! We’re mostly looking for some fuel and maybe some supplies, do you think you can help us with that?”“Sure thing,” Mack said with a jovial grin. “We don’t get many stopovers, but enough that we keep a few tanks full of oil nearby. With all the fish we deal with, we have plenty of that.”I wasn’t sure if we could use fish oil for fuel. I made a mental note to ask Awen about it later, she’d know more about it than I did. “I think that’s all we’re looking for. Well, that and news.”“News? Whereabouts are you coming from then?” Mack asked.“North, from the Snowlands, but we’re heading to the Harpy Mountains. We did a bit of a round trip, but flying across the other other side of the Harpy Mountains to come around to here. So we’re heading back now, I guess.”“Ah, I see. You did say you were explorers,” Mack said with a nod. “Well, your best bet will be the inn by the docks, of course. The Go Fish Inn. The innkeep ought to help. Biggest gossip in town, and they don’t limit themselves to local troubles.”I couldn’t help but giggle at the description. Codwood was starting to sound like a lively little place. “Are there many local troubles?”“Hmm, not usually, but there’s always something going on. Been having a lot of new people moving in lately. Like, a lot. Some folk aren’t happy about it.”“Really? The town’s growing, then?”He shook his head. “It’s less that. There was a small town not so far off from there in the woods. Little place around a little dungeon. Couple of hundred good folk. Used to trade with them all the time. Fish for livestock and the like. But they’ve been having trouble and a number of them have come to live here.”This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.I could almost feel my ears vibrating at the news. It sounded like there was adventure to be had!But only if we had the time, which really sucked. One day we’d head out for adventure without any sort of dire event hanging over our heads. Just heading out to find people that needed help and who could use a new friend or a dozen.But until then... I thanked Mack for his help, then watched as he climbed off the ship and dismissed the dockworkers back to whatever they’d been up to. I had the impression that they were less dockworkers and more local workers who happened to be near the docks at times and who were willing to lend a hand.I doffed my captain’s hat and tucked it under one arm as I skipped over to my friends. “I think it’s time for shore leave!” I said.“Oh?” Amaryllis asked. “Who’s going to go?”I blinked. Obviously, I wanted to go, but when I started thinking about it I realized that I hadn’t really given the Scallywags a chance to run around and explore in a long time. Clive and Steve and Gordon too had been on the Beaver for ages now!“Oh, world, you look so pitiful,” Amaryllis said with a shake of the head. “Let’s split the crew up in halves. It’s late enough in the afternoon that we won’t be heading out until tomorrow at the earliest, and we need to refuel and restock. So let’s have half the crew do some work now and we’ll give them the morning off, and then we can rotate.”“You’re a genius,” I said.I ran around asking who felt like being on the first away group and who wanted to be on the second, and fortunately, things ended up being split pretty evenly. I told Awen about the fish-oil fuel, and she wanted to stay behind after getting a little to test its suitability.Most of the more experienced crew wanted to stay back for the night as well. Caprica said that she didn’t want to attract any notice, so she chose to stay on the Beaver to guard it.That meant that the first away team looking for news ended up being me, Amaryllis, and Calamity, which put either Awen or Clive in charge of the Beaver as the ship mechanic and pilot respectively.“Alright,” I said as I squeezed my turtle hat on. Not for the stats, but because I’d grown rather fond of it, and it was comfy. “Let’s see what we can discover!” I said.“Yeah! Straight to the inn!” Calamity said.I eyed him as we disembarked from the Beaver. Was he just along to get a drink? Well, I couldn’t blame him if he was, we weren’t working on anything too serious.We climbed down and out of the docks and found ourselves on the edge of Codwood. Like I’d seen from above, the town clearly had a lot of trees left in and around it. The homes we passed were almost all built on little stilts that ended at about my hip, so there were open crawl spaces under most homes.It was a strange way to build a home, but I imagined that maybe they had issues with flooding? That would explain it, I figured.“Wow, look at the fluff on her,” Calamity said.I blinked and turned toward him. That was a rather rude thing to say! I was about to chastise him when I followed his gaze and found myself looking at a woman who was, in fact, very fluffy.She blinked at us, aware of the attention, and I gave her a little wave as we passed. I’d never seen someone with big tufts of furry fluff clinging to so much of their body before. She had two cute little antennas too, with little bulbs dangling on their ends. And wings. And four arms.Actually, I really wasn’t sure what kind of person they were, but they were wearing a summer dress and seemed nice, so I decided that they must be one of the locals.We pushed on deeper into the town, and ran into even more winged fluffy people. There were others, of course. For every fluffy person there was at least two or three humans.I discovered that the fluffy people lived in the trees! That might have explained why there were so many in the town. They had homes built into the boughs, with wooden walls and little round windows.Almost every one of those homes had large head-sized balls of glowing golden light hanging from cords around them and illuminating the homes from different angles.There were rope ladders too, but most of the inhabitants seemed more than capable of flying up to their front steps.I really wanted to peek into one of those mini-homes, but just jumping up and poking my head in would probably have been super rude, so I contented myself with staring up at them as we passed.The streets at the end of town were made of wooden planks, I noted as we pushed to the side and avoided a few carts that stank of fish and then watched as a pair fishermen argued from their boats about who had arrived first to unload their day’s catch.Codwood was a busy little town, it seemed, and had more people in it than I’d assumed from the air. There weren’t any big signs that things were bad though. No beggars, plenty of happy kids getting up to trouble, no guards in sight even.The Go Fish Inn took pride of place in the centre of the docks. It was a two storey building, sitting on stout stilts and with a big porch out front where older fishermen were sitting and smoking pipes under the shade of a particularly large tree in the little yard next to the inn.“Nice place,” Calamity said as he started up the inn’s front steps. “Real homey feel to it.”“Mhm,” I agreed. It did feel like a nice little town. Which made me even more curious about the trouble Mack had talked about.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Five — The Go Fish Inn
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Five — The Go Fish Inn We stepped into the Inn and found it to be rather quiet inside. There were a few people eating at round tables dotted across the main floor, and more were at the bar counter at the end of the room, sitting on butt-worn stools while chatting between each other.There were lots of lamps hanging from the ceiling, many of which had glimmering magical lights hanging within. A lot of blue lights, actually, it made the room surprisingly bright and the light from the lamps was competing with the warm glow from the big hearth off to one side which was warming the entire room up.I took in a deep breath through my nose to sniff at the air. It smelled like fish. Cooked fish, spices and potatoes and that tangy scent that came from cooked roots. My tummy perked up curiously.“Hi!” someone said, and I snapped my attention away from my stomach to pay more attention. There was a young woman flouncing her way over to us. She was about half a head shorter than me, even with the antenna sticking out above her head, two of her hands were patting down her pale green dress, the other two were hanging onto a steel tray and a few menus carved onto a wooden slat. “Welcome to the Go Fish, the best inn in all of Codwood!”“Isn’t it the only one?” Amaryllis asked.“It is!” she said cheerfully. “Did you want a table?”“Sure!” I said with a nod. “I wasn’t too hungry before, but it smells so good in here that I’m reconsidering that.”“Could use a bite to eat,” Calamity agreed.“Right this way then!” the waitress said. She bounced over to a table off to the side and then fussed with the cutlery. “Ah, do any of you need anything special?” she asked.“Anything special?” I repeated.She bobbed her head up and down. “Special utensils for eating? Special chairs?”“Um, no, I think we’re okay with, uh, human chairs and such,” I said with a glance to my friends.Calamity wiggled his fingers. “Broccoli and I are basically a few ears and tails ahead of normal humans. What about you, princess?” he asked Amaryllis.“I can manage with this kind of cutlery just fine,” Amaryllis said as she pinched a fork between her talons, then made it spin around between one talon and the other.“Fantastic,” the waitress said as she handed us some menus. “If you need any help, or have any questions at all, just holler.”“Oh, I have one,” I asked. “Or several, really.”“Sure thing!” she said.“What’s your name? I’m Broccoli, and this is Amaryllis and that’s Calamity. We’re explorers!”“Oh, explorers!” the moth woman exclaimed. “That’s fancy! I’m Wendy Winded, it's a pleasure to meet you.”“Do you mind if I ask you what you are?” I asked.“I’m a waitress,” she replied, which set me off to giggling.“I think she meant your species,” Calamity said. “Never met anyone with quite so many arms, and with wings to boot.”I nodded along. “That’s right. I’ve seen a few people like you wandering around in Codwood, but you’re the first I’ve gotten to talk to.”Wendy smiled and placed a couple of hands on her hip. “Well, I suppose we aren’t too common outside of our little woods. We’re mothfolk. We’re not too different from the average person, I guess. We all want warm food, a roof over our heads, and to stare at the moon for hours on end.”I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to do that last one myself, but Wendy seemed very nice and I didn’t want to contradict her. “Thank you,” I said. “Ah, I think we’re going to need a minute to order up.”“Nah, just give me whatever’s fresh,” Calamity said as he went to toss his menu on the table. Then he paused and turned towards Amaryllis. “Ah, assuming I can get paid real quick.”“Don’t worry about the meal,” Amaryllis said. “I’ll have this one, the blue fish? It seems interesting.”“Oh, if we’re all ordering now, then, um.” I scanned the menu quick as I could, eyes bouncing along the choices. “Oh, maybe this fish and veggies plate, but without the fish.”“Without the fish?” Wendy asked.“Do fish count as meat? It upsets my tummy, even if it smells really good.” I shifted in my seat. “Okay, maybe just a small cut of the fish?”Wendy patted me on the shoulder while writing down our orders. “Sure thing. I’ll be back with all of that in no time at all!”I watched Wendy go, then leaned back in my chair. “She was nice. Do you think she’d know about the wedding?”“A random waitress?” Amaryllis asked. “Maybe, but only if it’s big news. Codwood doesn’t strike me as the information hub I was hoping to find. It’s barely large enough to be called a town.”“I could go around and ask,” Calamity said. “I can be quite charming, nya know.”Amaryllis huffed a very disbelieving sort of huff that Calamity didn’t need any help translating.“Hey, it’s true. Give me a bit of silver to spend on some drinks and those fishermen over there will be all buttered up and sharing their best secrets with me.”“We’re not here to learn where the best fishing spot is,” Amaryllis said. “What we’re looking for is a lot more delicate than that. If we can’t learn about the wedding here, then the only place we might discover any good information is over in Inkwren. That’s several day’s travel from here.”“Aren’t we heading that way in any case?” I asked.“Yes, but I want to know whether or not we’re too late to do anything or if we just need to hurry along and pick up the pace. Knowing can only help us in the long run.”That was fair.Amaryllis talked about a few ways we could learn more about the wedding, but they mostly amounted to petitioning the local equivalent of leaders and paying people to listen to others talk for us, which all sounded kind of complicated.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.So when Wendy returned with our meals balanced on a tray, I smiled at her and just asked. “Hey, Wendy, did you hear anything about a big wedding going on in the south, near Port Royal, maybe?”“Oh, the dragon wedding?” she asked.“That’s the one,” I said while I pretended not to hear Amaryllis’ strangled squawking.“I can’t say I’ve heard much about it, just that it was happening. Judas could tell you more.”“Judas?”Wendy half-turned and pointed to the counter with one hand while the other three organised our table. “He’s the inn’s owner. Nice guy. He hired me even if I didn’t have much experience with this kind of thing.”‘You’ve been doing a great job so far,” I assured her. “Are you new to Codwood then, or are you a local?”“Oh, I’m somewhat new,” Wendy said. “I’m an only child, and I live alone besides, so I was one of the first to move to Codwood a few years back.”“The first mothfolk?” I asked.She nodded, and I appreciated the way her antenna wiggled. They were like stiffer ears. “Mhm! A bunch of us live nearby, but I wanted to see the world just a little. Then soon after I moved things back home started to take a turn for the worse and now it feels like half of Codwood is folk like me.”“What happened?”Wendy shrugged. “I wasn’t there, you know, so this is just gossip, but I heard that the dungeon broke. Now there’s no way for there to be more of us. Well, except for the old fashioned way, of course. I’m a third-generation mothfolk, but my mom and dad only have two arms each!”“Oh, wow,” I said. “So the dungeon used to give people moth classes?”“Mhm. That’s the gist of it. Anyway, I’ve got other tables to tend to. Call me if you need anything.”So, if Wendy was to be believed-and I didn’t see a reason why not-then the dungeon problem might already be fixed. Though not in the most ideal way.“Does that happen a lot?” I asked Amaryllis. “Normal humans gaining a new class and evolving like that? I mean, I’m guessing it’s how buns happened, and harpies maybe?”Amaryllis sniffed. “You think harpies came from humans? Broccoli, it’s the other way around. Clearly some harpies got lost, found a human dungeon, and traded in their perfectly usable wings for arms. Then they just spread around, as humans do.”“Oh,” I said. I... supposed that was possible.“Nah, way I hear it, humans are way more common than anything else out west,” Calamity said. “But I heard that most folk are actually the descendants of a strange kind of elf that spent a lot of time in dungeons. That’s why most folk have two arms and two legs and the whole torso bit as a common feature.”“That sounds absurd. Besides, harpies have a clearly different structure to them, and what of the cervid?”“Hey, I’m just telling you what I was told, nya know,” Calamity said with a wiggle of his fork.I hummed and started to eat. Maybe Amaryllis was right, and maybe not. It was probably unfair to assume that everyone had started as human though. That was clearly my own bias as a-was I a former human?-as an ex-human talking.“Well, whatever. I still think it’s neat that an entire new species can just pop up like that from one community of people with similar classes.”“It generally comes with a decent advantage for those who want to live in the area,” Amaryllis said.“Huh?” I asked as I chewed on a carrot, it was glazed over with some sort of fishy oil that tasted strange, but kind of good too.“Wendy over there, I imagine her species is well adapted to whatever forest she came from. Most dungeons have links to the environment you’ll find them in, so if they give a class which turns a person into a slightly different species, then that species will generally be well adapted to the environment too.”“Oh,” I said. That actually made a lot of sense. But then... “What kind of environment leads to people getting bunny ears?”Amaryllis paused mid-bite, frowned, then shrugged. “It’s just a theory,” she said.We continued to eat, and I didn’t regret getting some fish, it was super tasty, even if the fish was a bluish-white colour that I wasn’t used to seeing on any fish I’d ever eaten before. As it turned out, my appetite ran out before my plate emptied, so I gave the rest to Calamity who was more than happy to finish things off for me.Then we sat around and chit-chatted about not much at all while the food settled.Once we were properly done, we stood and headed over to the counter at the front. The man that Wendy had pointed out-Judas-was cleaning some mugs off when we arrived, though he put them down and smiled. “Hey there, Enjoy the meal?”“It was great!” I said. “And Wendy was very nice too.”“Good to hear,” he said. Then his mood improved even more as Amaryllis stacked a couple of silver coins on the counter before him. “Is there anything else we can do to help?”“Actually, yes,” Amaryllis said. “We’re with the Exploration Guild.” She tapped her lapel with her pin. “We’re looking for some information. Wendy mentioned that you were the person to ask.”“Ah, well, I’m a good listener,” he replied. “But if you want to get me yammering properly, I’ll need to have a sit-down first. I can’t work and chat well at the same time.”“We’ll pay you for your time,” Amaryllis said.And so we found ourselves back at our seats soon enough, but this time with the innkeep himself at the table.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Six — Here's a Story About a Little Town That Lives in a Blue World
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Six — Here's a Story About a Little Town That Lives in a Blue World “So, what are we looking for?” Judas asked. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and clasping his hands together. His smile seemed genuine, warm even. I imagined that the coins Amaryllis had given him was cause for some of that, but Judas seemed like a nice guy in any case.“We’re interested in information about a wedding,” Amaryllis said. "It's happening in the south, by Port Royal. There's a dragon involved."“Wendy mentioned that you had mentioned it,” I said.Judas nodded. "I'm a man of the land, so to speak. I try to keep tabs on things. What's important to people? Turns out that a big one is weddings. Not that I am particularly fond of them myself. Most of the Codwood weddings are held right here, you see. Inn’s the biggest place in town and we’ve got the kitchens and the drinks.”“That makes sense,” I said. “So, you’ve heard about the wedding?”“Ah, right, that one. Well, I don’t envy whoever’ll have to cater that wedding. A dragon! Getting married! Never heard the like. Wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t hear the rumours from two sources either.”“Two sources?” Calamity asked. He was sipping away at a frothy mug of something local and leaning back on his chair so that it stood on two legs.Judas nodded. “First I heard of it was from some merchants. They stop by here every so often, buy a load of Blue Lake cod and oils and the like; bring in some stuff we need too. Would have dismissed it at that, but then one of my pals, a fishermen fellow from nearby Inkwren, came by for a visit a few days back. He does that, sometimes, skirts along the edge of the Blue Lake and stops by. Says the fish are bigger on this end, but I bet he just buys the biggest fish we’ve got here then resells them in Inkwren for a few lazy coins. Anyway, he mentioned this particular wedding too.”I nodded along to his story. “Do you know when the wedding will be taking place?” I asked.“I heard the winter solstice,” Judas said. “But that sounds like it’s an awful long time from now for a wedding. Most of the time when two younger folk hitch up here, it’s only a matter of weeks before we’ve got to prepare a proper party.”I turned towards Amaryllis, and my question must have been obvious. “The solstice is... in about a month and a half from now,” she said.“Oh,” I said. “Shouldn’t it be getting colder then?”“It has been,” Calamity replied. “For a bit now, even.”“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t noticed. Then again, the difference from climbing to a high altitude and then coming back down was pretty big sometimes. It was super cold up in the sky, especially at night, so when we descended back down to ground level, things felt comparatively warmer. “So, we do have plenty of time to get to Port Royal, then?” I asked.“We have enough time, yes,” Amaryllis said. Although we won't have enough if we linger around and follow every side-quest like a dog chasing squirrels, right Broccoli?"Amaryllis gave me a pointed look, which I ignored. I turned my attention back to Judas. “So, is there anything you need help with?” I asked. “Maybe with the mothfolk?”“Why are you asking that, Broccoli?” Amaryllis asked.“Because I want to help?” I asked.She kept staring until I found myself fidgeting on my seat.“Because I want to help the moth people so that I have a reason to go around hugging them. But Amaryllis, they have four arms! Imagine how cool that must feel! You don’t need to worry about whether your arms are above or under when hugging them because it can be both, and they look so soft!”“No Broccoli, we won’t go saving people just to hug them, that’s... morally questionable, I think. Maybe.” Amaryllis frowned. “In any case, it’s a bad idea.”“The mothfolk are in a bad way,” Judas said. “Their dungeon’s being plagued by these strange plants, I’ve heard.”I looked at Amaryllis.“We’re on a schedule,” she said.“They’re offering a lot of gold to anyone who could help, but no one’s answered the bounty yet,” Judas continued.“That does make it more tempting,” Amaryllis muttered.“I like gold,” Calamity added.I pouted. “Guys, we don’t do things for money, not when that thing is helping people who are in need of helping. It’s not nice.”“We absolutely do things for money,” Amaryllis said. “The Beaver doesn’t run on water and happy thoughts you know. And our time and expertise is worth something. A lot, in fact.”“I like gold,” Calamity repeated with a nod.I crossed my arms. “Judas, how bad are things right now?”“Not so great. The mothfolk used to get a lot of the things they needed for their village from their dungeon. The first few floors give cloth.” He reached to his sweater, which seemed like it was made of a thick, soft sort of knit material. “We used to buy lots of it here in Codwood. Not just for clothes. It’s a really tough silk, so it makes for great ropes. Not so good for sails though.”“It’s a moth-themed dungeon, right?” I asked.“It is,” he said. “If you want to know more though, and if you want to try to help, I know a few folk who would love to meet you.”I looked at my friends, then shrugged. “Sure. Are those people in town?”“They shouldn’t be far,” he said. “I can probably have them meeting you here by tonight.”Tapping my chin, I considered it for a moment. It would be nice to get some proper information before starting off on a little side-adventure. And a side-adventure would also be fantastic. I had skills that I wanted to improve, and I wanted to be a stronger bun. A dungeon would help a lot with that!This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.“Do you think these friends of yours could meet us at our ship?” I asked. “If we’re going to do this-and I haven’t said we would yet-then we’d have to ask the rest of the crew about it. We wouldn’t be going into a dungeon with just the three of us.”Judas agreed, and after offering us something to drink-on the house, but we ended up refusing-he got up and returned to work with a promise that he’d get into contact with his friends as soon as he could.“Well, that’s something,” I said as I stood up and stretched until my back went crick-pop. “Do you think we should head back to the Beaver now?”“After a short stop,” Amaryllis said. “We need supplies. Not just for any dungeon we might inadvertently end up in, but for the Beaver as a whole. Our pantry isn’t as full as I’d like to see it.”“Alright!” I said.We left the Go Fish inn and headed down to the docks with some directions from a helpful local. There was a small market where fishermen brought their daily catches. It smelled... strongly. Very strongly. But other than that, the place was lively and fun, with stalls displaying the best of the day’s catch and others with fishing gear and locally made crafts on sale. From what I understood, the market was free for anyone to pick a stall and use, but it was only open for a couple of hours a day. That meant that anyone not selling stuff had to hurry over to grab what they needed, but it also meant that the gossips and busybodies all had a place to gather every afternoon.We paused by one of the stalls to stare at the fish.“I don’t think i’ve ever seen a blue fish before,” I said.The fish on display was very dead, with half of it cut open to display the fish meat within. Pale cyan fish meat. It had pearlescent blue scales and fins of a darker cobalt colour. “These are Blue Lake cod,” the man behind the counter said. “I hear they’re quite the delicacy elsewhere in the Endless Swells.”“They’re very impressive,” I said.Amaryllis struck up a conversation with the man about the best places to buy preserved food while Calamity barely held back his drool.I made a note to buy a small bit of fish for Orange.We ended up being pointed towards another merchant who sold these little barrels no bigger than my head filled with salted fish on beds of dried seaweed and covered in copious amounts of a blue-tinged salt.“Nearly everything from the lake comes out bluish,” he said. “Just the way it is.”I thought it was a little too weird for it to be dismissed so easily, but then I hadn’t grown up next to the Blue Lake either.We picked up some food, grabbing fresh produce while we could. I really had to start a garden up on the Beaver one of these days so that we could have fresh carrots whenever we wanted. Or maybe I could help Awen invent the fridge so that wouldn’t be a problem?Soon enough, we were heading back to the Beaver with a couple of barrels of salted fish and a few heavy sacks filled with veggies.We were greeted on the Beaver by most of the crew who were split up handling different tasks. Oda was on a bench, scribbling in a notebook, the other Scallywags had strung up hammocks on the rigging, and Caprica was working through some sword forms on the deck.“We brought food!” I said.There was a cheer at that.“But it’s not cooked yet,” I added.The cheer died down into a bunch of low grumbling, and I found myself giggling as I skipped across the deck with a sack hugged close.I decided that we’d have a big cookout, right there on the deck, and that turned out to be a lot more complicated than I initially imagined it would be.Awen came out, was a little miffed about the idea, then took charge of building everything we’d need to make it not be a disaster. Fortunately, her glass magic was coming along really well, and soon we had a toughened glass device designed to hold some flammable oil and conduct heat into a big in-set plate that a few pots and pans could sit on.I directed some of my friends to chop veggies while I prepped the rest of the food. It was probably a good thing that I wasn’t hungry, because the smells that started to rise up were dizzyingly yummy.We raided our stores for spices and anything that was starting to go mushie, and tossed those into a big stew while I seared some blue fish in oil and got everything warmed up.Things were just about ready when someone showed up by the Beaver Cleaver’s side. I was informed by a watchful Orange, who was guarding the ship while ripping into a big chunk of raw fish. She meowed at the arrival of a stranger and that had my ears perking up.“Oh,” I said. “Caprica, can you keep stirring things?” I asked since she was close.Once the princess was behind the stove-and looking a little lost-I skipped across the deck and paused. “Hello,” the man said.He was a mothfolk person, with long wilty antennae, bent by old age, and huge wings which draped over his body like a long, fluffy-edged trenchcoat. He was hanging onto a gnarled stick that he was using as a cane.“Hi!” I said. “I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch, of the Beaver. Did Judas send you over?”“Hello captain,” he said. His voice was raspy and low. “My name is Lepido Ptera. And yes, Judas mentioned how you might be able to help us.”“That’s fantastic,” I said. “Come! We’re just about to have lunch! We made enough to share, and you can tell us about that dungeon problem you’ve been having. We’re sort of experts at fixing those, you see!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Seven — They Held the Line
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Seven — They Held the Line No one really wanted to drag a bunch of chairs up to the deck. The chairs below were all kind of bulky and hard to navigate through the narrow corridors of the Beaver. So we mostly settled on sitting right on the deck, though I did go and get a chair for mister Lepido to sit on, since he was a guest.The fish was nearly done frying by the time everyone was properly introduced, and we passed around bowls for everyone to eat with. I... really wasn’t too hungry, but I still took a small portion for myself because it smelled really good and my tummy was sometimes louder than my brain.Besides, I was plenty active! I’d burn off those extra calories in a few bounces, no problem!“So,” I said as I nibbled on a wooden spoon. “Judas and Wendy both mentioned trouble with a moth dungeon?”Lepido frowned into his bowl. “That’s correct. Us mothfolk have lived nice, quiet lives for so long now that we weren’t prepared for the trouble we encountered. We’re more dependent on our dungeon than I would have expected, and now that it’s closed to us, we’re left with little recourse.”“What happened, exactly?” Caprica asked. She was sitting on the deck, legs folded under her quite primly while she blew daintily over the top of her bowl to cool it off.“A strange plant took hold of the dungeon’s core, and after some time, grew and grew until the dungeon’s light was nearly extinguished. It’s still a small dungeon, you see, even after all these years. A small, kindly dungeon that we’ve grown quite fond of, and in a way, I think it's grown fond of us in turn.”“Dungeons can be fond of people?” I asked.Amaryllis made a so-so gesture with a wing. “There’s no concrete proof that dungeons have any real personality. But... there are some people that insist on personifying them, and it’s true that occasionally the challenge a dungeon poses will change from person to person, which only encourages the thought that the dungeon has a personality behind it. Of course, those changes could be entirely arbitrary, or coincidental, and the factors that go into them might be so complex as to be invisible to the common person.”“I don’t know about all that,” Lepido said. “But we like our dungeon and it’s been fair to us in return. Slow to grow, not much of a challenge, plenty of fantastic goods. It’s allowed our little village to prosper. Candlelight Glade wouldn’t be what it is today without our dungeon. I know that because now that we are without, our village is suffering.”“When did the first plants show up?” I asked.“Oh, about two years back,” he said, clearly while searching his own memories. “It started off small. A few little strands around the core. Then it slowly grew, until today, it chokes out the entire dungeon. We couldn’t make it to the fourth floor at all a few months back. Now the third is almost inaccessible.”I nodded along. Sounded serious, and yet... “Two years is a long time,” I said.“Much slower than any other Evil Root infection we’ve seen,” Amaryllis said.“Maybe it’s a different kind?” Awen asked. “Plants can be pretty different from each other while staying the same kind of plant.”That was possible, I supposed. A slower-acting sort of Evil Root, maybe. "What do the plants look like? What colour are they?" I asked.Lepido frowned. “They’re more like vines,” he said. “They’re blackish-brown?”I shrugged. I didn’t know enough about botany to actually tell vines and roots apart, really. “So, either a slower kind of Evil Root, or something different but similar, or... hey, did any of the mothfolk try to stop it?” I asked. Maybe they’d done something to slow the growth down, but then it hadn’t worked?“We tried everything,” he said. “The moment we discovered it was harming the dungeon we started trying to cut it up, but the vines kept coming back. They’re quite resistant to magic, you see, but some of our farmers are quite skilled, and weeding skills would level very rapidly when trying to kill those vines... or you call them Evil Roots? Have you seen them elsewhere?”“Yeah, assuming we’re talking about the same thing,” I said. “But, before that, did the farmers succeed?”“A little. A day’s work could clear out a whole floor’s infection. But eventually it started growing back faster and we only have so many farmers. We tried burning it, freezing it, we brought in anyone from Codwood that we thought could help. We even had a rotation going for nearly a year, farmers going down to weed the dungeon every single day. But then the harvest season came, and we were all quite busy, and the weeds exploded out of control. It took months to push them back, and by then they’d grown faster and tougher.”“Oh, maybe it’s not so different from other Evil Roots, you were just more proactive about trimming it.”Amaryllis hummed. “That seems entirely possible, yes. Have any monsters emerged from the dungeon?”He nodded. “Some. The dungeon had mothsters, of course. They used to stay within, but soon they were roaming outside of the dungeon and making a mess of things. Then there were these strange... plant creatures. Skittish but quite aggressive. We have a rotation of folk by the dungeon’s entrance now, keeping them at bay.”I clapped my hands, then almost dropped the bowl I was balancing on one thigh. “Okay, we should definitely try to help.”“Can you?” he asked. “I feel like even if we get rid of the plant, it might be too late for Candlelight Glade now. So many young families have moved to Codwood, and some are finding life here just as good as it was back home. The folk of Codwood are a little... annoyed-some of them, at least-about so many of us showing up and looking for housing and work, but for the most part they’ve been fine, friendly folk. New families have found new homes.”“That’s not all bad,” I said. “If we can clear out the dungeon’s root problem, then that just means your village will be able to keep growing, right?”This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.“That would be nice,” he said. “We started with little more than half a dozen families, now there are a couple hundred folk living in Candlelight Glade, even after so many moved on.”“Then you’ll just grow again,” I said.Lepido smiled. “Maybe so. Do you think you can help us? We don’t have much to pay for that kind of thing, else we would have sent for help out in Inkwren. We had a few strange sorts show up, but none of them were able to help.”“We can try,” I said. “We have a bit of time to spare, right?” I asked the last to Amaryllis who frowned and made a so-so gesture. “We have some time to spare. If we reach the dungeon by tonight and clear it out before morning, then we might only lose half a day to this adventure. That would make it all worth it.”Joe, of all people, raised a hand and I blinked at him. “Hey, uh, think that once the dungeon’s cleared, we might give it a go?”“After it’s cleared?” I asked. “You mean, if we manage to remove the Evil Roots?”He nodded. “All three of us are nearing our tenth level. Don’t know if I want my second class to be a moth class, doesn’t seem like it fits, but it’s better than nothing, and it’ll unlock more general skill slots in any case.”“Even if you decide not to take the class?” I asked.“Oh, they could switch out their second class with something else,” Amaryllis said. "Once they have something to switch with. Doing that means you lose the progress you made toward that second class, but you don't lose the progress on your first class. Whereas, if you wait to take a secondary class until you have the perfect one, you'll be capped at level ten and won't be able to advance at all. Some progress is better than none."That seemed... entirely fair. “Alright,” I said. “Lepido, how long does it normally take to clear out the dungeon?”“Before all this evil plant business? A few hours, at most,” he said. “Everyone in Candlelight Glade has gone through the dungeon at least once, most of us more than that. We cultivated a lot of materials there. Silks and cloth and dyes. That means we go down into the dungeon two or three times a day. Some of us, at any rate.”“Ah, okay,” I said. In that case, it wouldn’t hurt to ask some of the mothfolk to escort the Scallywags through the dungeon if it wasn’t too dangerous. “Clive, Steve, Gordon, do you think you guys would want to give it a try too?”Clive was sitting with his back to the railing and was calmly stuffing his pipe. “Nope,” he said.Steve and Gordon looked to each other, then started debating it. I left them to it. If they wanted to go, they could.“Alright, so, how far is Candlelight Glade and what’s the dungeon like? Amaryllis hinted at it already, but we really don't have much time to spare. We're trying to get to a wedding, and even if it's more than a month away, we need to arrive early."Lepido smiled. "Ah, a wedding. Always a lovely event. You a part of it?""Nope! Well. not yet, at any rate. Hopefully! Um, we're friends with the couple. I guess we haven't technically been invited, but mostly we just need to get there to keep a bunch of terrorists from crashing the ceremony."Lepido stared at me."Anyway!" I hurried along, "We'll need to make things quick. Can a big group enter the dungeon? What kind of challenges are there?”“I never heard of the dungeon having problems with big groups,” Lepido said. “Do you really think you can help?”“Maybe,” I said. I didn’t want to make any promises I’d end up breaking. Still, a little hope wouldn’t hurt. “I think I can help, in any case. We’ve cleared out Evil Roots from other dungeons before. But never a dungeon that had been infected for this long. It might be a lot harder than any of the previous dungeons we fixed up. So yeah, no promises except that we’ll give it a good try.”“I wouldn’t mind coming along,” Calamity said. “Don’t know if I’d want a moth class for my third one, but your idea of getting it as a stopgap ain’t so bad.”“I’ll come as well,” Caprica said. “I have some experience in dungeons, and I'm probably our strongest combatant, so it makes sense for me to help spearhead the fighting.”I glanced at my other friends. “Of course I’m coming,” Amaryllis said. “To help our ‘strongest combatant’ here, if nothing else.”“Ah, I’ll come too,” Awen added. “It might be a nice experience, and, um, I guess I wouldn’t mind having more arms.”“And lots of cute fluff,” I said. “And wings!”She nodded. “That too.”“Alright!” I said as I bounced to my feet. “Let’s grab the gear we need. Mister Lepido, how far away is Candlelight Glade from Codwood?”“Half a day’s walk,” he said. “A little less if your hips aren’t as old as mine. Even less by carriage.”That was further than I’d like. “In that case... do you think we could park the Beaver above the town?”“That’d be mighty strange, but there’s room for it, I suppose. No docks or anything though.”That was probably fine. We could hold steady over land without too much trouble, and we had rope ladders for coming aboard and disembarking.“Then that’s what we’ll do,” I said.Lepido blinked. “We haven’t even talked payment yet, though. I don’t know how much a group of adventurers costs, but we had a hard enough time convincing the few that showed up to come already. We’re not the richest little village.”“We’ll do it for free,” I said.Amaryllis flicked one of my (bunny) ears. “We’ll discuss remunerations on the way over,” she said. “Seeing as how we are in the region already, I’m certain we could do the work for a steep, yet reasonable, discount.”I massaged my ear. “Okay, fine,” I said. “I’ll let Amaryllis fleece you for a bit, and then we’ll charge half of that. In the meantime... let’s pick up, everyone! We have some flying to do!”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Moth-er of All Adventures
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Moth-er of All Adventures The Beaver circled around Candlelight Glade a few times before we found a place to bring the airship down.The village was hard to spot from above. There wasn’t a wide clearing for a bunch of little homes. Instead, the village was almost entirely entwined in the trees. Homes hung off and above thick branches, sometimes with multiple homes stuck to a singular tree.Balconies ran all over, and there were several rope bridges linking the trees together as well as ladders and narrow steps that circled around the trees they were built into leading all the way to the ground.It wasn’t as if nothing was built on ground level, of course. There were a few open patches where gardens were growing, and a few small fields nearby ringed by fences that kept rows of corn and wheat safe.The dungeon itself was easy to spot from above. It was a big rocky outcropping rising above the flat land of the forest, with a vast glade before it and a gnarled tree clinging to it.It looked as if the dungeon had just popped out of the ground one day, pushing that big tree up and almost unrooting it. But the tree had clung on, and eventually its trunk had bent up to better catch the sun, creating a green canopy above the dungeon’s entranceway.The glade was where we decided to moor the Beaver Cleaver. We dropped anchor (slowly, in case someone was below) and when enough chain was down to keep us nice and steady, we lowered the ship down so that the deck was level with the treetops.Then we tossed a rope ladder off the side. I poked my head out and looked out below to discover that we’d gained a few curious onlookers. They were all mothfolk, like Lepido and Wendy, with pitchforks and hoes and big straw hats protecting their heads from the warm sunlight.“I’ll go down first,” Lepido said. “To make sure none of those pitchforks ends up somewhere inappropriate.”“That seems like a good idea,” I agreed. “Besides, we need to gear up for adventuring. Will we need anything in the dungeon? Lights, ropes, ten-foot-poles?”“Some light wouldn’t hurt, at least on some of the floors,” he said. “It can get dark down there, especially with those vines blocking out the light.” With that, he hopped off the sides, wings snapping as they caught the wind and then he gently glided down.I watched him starting to talk to some of the farmers below, then I ran back below deck. It was time to get properly geared up for an adventure! That meant, of course, tossing off all of my more comfortable clothes and replacing it with my thick, padded dress, then slipping into my armour. I adjusted my breastplate, hooked my little pauldrons on, then slid on a belt around my hips.I had greaves and this bit that covered my knees... I was pretty sure it wasn’t called a kneepad though. I frowned at it and fired off my Insight skill.A Poleyn, Nearly NewThat was a strange name, but I supposed it had to be right. With a shrug, I slipped mine on and fixed them in place so that they were snug but not too tight. Then the last part of my armour was a single fauld, which was this metal piece that hung off my right hip and that kind of made my whole armoured set asymmetrical.I adjusted things here and there, tugging them into place, then I gave myself a good bounce or two to make sure everything was settled. “Perfect!” I said before grabbing my favourite turtle shell helmet. I slid my bigger ears through the holes in the helm and then settled it atop my head. I set Weedbane up against the doorway so I wouldn’t forget it.The last thing I did was grab a small backpack that I emptied out on my bed and quickly repacked. I had some cloth to use as bandages-just in case-some potions that I had laying around, and whatever I thought might come in handy in a dungeon, which mostly meant rope and a camp knife and after a quick jaunt to the kitchen, a number of snacks.I checked up on my friends once I was ready myself, and discovered that I was one of the slower ones. Caprica was on the deck, sitting on a rail with her wings spread wide to catch the sunlight and decked out in functional but elegant armour that we’d picked up in the Snowlands. Her biggest piece of gear was a shield almost as tall as she was, and heavier than her to boot. She could still move it around with ease, and I suspected that had more to do with skills from her Bastion class than anything.Awen was in her long coat, hammer by her hip and crossbow slung over her back. She was picking her nails clean with a tiny glass knife she’d probably conjured up for the task. Calamity, meanwhile, was checking his new Snowlander bow’s little gears and wheels. He had a small heap of arrows stuffed into a quiver that hung by his hip and a long hunting knife tucked at the small of his back. No armour for him except for a nice leather coat.And then Amaryllis stepped out from the lower decks behind me in her own fur-trimmed leather jacket. She looked properly spiffy and ready for adventure. “Well?” she asked. “Are we all going to sit around here and do nothing? Let’s see about this dungeon. We’re on a schedule, people!”I grinned. “Yup, we’re ready, I think. I wish I still had Teamaking, I could make us something to help.”“You still can,” Amaryllis said. “Buffs are buffs; they are derived from mana. Essentially, they are a spell. If you learn that spell, you'll be able to brew buffing tea without relying on the World to do all the work for you. You even have a head start because you used the Teamaking skill before and you should have some subconscious familiarity with the process.”“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t considered that. That was a good point! But it was also a concern for later. “Anyway, should we head down?”If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.There was a general consensus that yes, we should head down, and so we did! I did pause to tell the Scallywags that they could visit the town if they wanted to, and that their turn at the dungeon would come after we’d cleared it of any roots. They didn’t seem to mind the wait.Lepido was waiting by the ladder with a single mothfolk farmer next to him. Or at least, I assumed it was a farmer. He was a bit younger than Lepido-though guessing ages was hard when the person had fluffy all-white fur and looked a bit bug-like-and one of those straw hats on. He had a pitchfork too, though the tines were now poking into the grass underfoot.“Ah, Captain,” Lepido said. “I wanted to introduce you to this fine young man. He’s the one who’s been taking care of beating back the vines for the last couple of weeks.”“Just because harvest is done and I’ve nothing better to do,” the mothperson said. He extended a hand to me and I shook. “Pleased to meet ya. Lepido here says that you’re mighty good at dungeoneering?”“Ah, we’re alright at it. And we’ve managed to fight off some Evil Roots in the past. But I can’t make promises.”“That’s fair,” he said after a moment. “Is this the group that’ll be going down?”“It is,” I said. I turned then made introductions to everyone. “This is Amaryllis, our mage, Calamity, our ranger, Awen, our mechanic and fixer-upper, and Caprica, our tank. And I’m Broccoli Bunch! I... uh, also definitely have a role in the team. I hope we can be friends, sir!”Puffles G. WardDesired Quality: Someone forthright and kindDream: To see the light“I’m Puffles,” he said with a serious look in his eyes that almost-almost-set me to giggling. “I’ll be guiding you down there, best I can, in any case.”“I look forward to it,” I said. “Do we need to do anything special before going down? Or can we just... head on in right away?”Puffles worked his shoulders, all four of them, and then shrugged before tugging his pitchfork out of the ground. “No harm in heading in now. Didn’t have any real plans for the evening except to sit back and smoke my pipe.”“Perfect,” I said with a happy little clap. “So, what can you tell us about the dungeon’s first floor?”“Floor, huh? Not much of a floor at all, really. More like a long passageway. You’ll see what I mean once we get there. You need a few buckets of sugar water to get past it. Or we did, before the dungeon went weird.”“What’s the sugar water for?” I asked. “And where are you getting sugar from?”“The ants. Leave it out and they used to leave you alone. Four or so buckets a trip, but you’d get some good quilts for it. The sugar’s from tree sap. It ain’t good for eating here, unfortunately, but it is sweet and the ants like it.” He tugged at his shirt, which I noticed was made of a thickly woven material. His overalls too, for that matter. It looked a bit too thick to be normal cotton.“So we need sugar water,” I repeated. “And buckets.”“Needed. Barely a point to it now. The dungeon used to let you by for free, but now with the vines in there, there’s no peace to be found. You lot ready for a fight?”I glanced at my friends and got a bunch of nods. “I think we are, yeah.”Puffles nodded. “Right, follow me, then.” He walked over to the dungeon’s entrance, a big round door fit right into the side of the stone jutting out of one end of the clearing. He tugged aside a latch, then gestured for us to back off. “Dangerous, this bit. Get ready.”I didn’t have time to ask him what we should get ready for then he tugged a final latch aside, then flung the door open.A huge ant flopped down, as if it had been clinging to the wall. It was as big as a dog and wrapped in black vines from the tip of its clawed feet to the end of its abdomen.The ant shook itself, then looked up towards me and opened its mandibles wide. It only came up to about my knees (so more like a smaller dog, really) but it still looked incredibly creepy, especially when it started to scurry towards the nearest of us.Unfortunately for the ant, that was Caprica.She grunted and the sharp bottom end of her shield came crunching down atop the ant’s head, pinning it to the ground with a thump. She reached around the shield with a long knife and stabbed into the poor ant.Then Calamity’s bow twanged and a jolt shot from Amaryllis’ wand, and the ant was suddenly fading away into magical motes.“They’ve been crawling out of there for a while,” Puffles said. “Dangerous lot.”Congratulations! Your party has exterminated a Quilted Ant (Level 5)! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Could have used some warning,” Caprica said.“Ah, that’s true,” Puffles said as he scratched behind his head. “Sorry ‘bout that. Ought to warn you now that I doubt that’ll be the only ant we see. There’s hundreds of them down there.”“So we’ll have to conserve our mana and stick close, then,” I said.At least that one ant didn’t seem all that tough in the end. Just level five, and slowed down by those roots clinging to it? That was manageable.Then again, levels weren’t everything. A level four dragon could still likely gobble me up.With a final nod, Puffles led us into the dungeon, one hand holding up a conjured ball of light while while his other three hands kept a firm grip on his pitchfork.You are Entering the Golden Light DungeonDungeon Level 4-8Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?Dungeon left UnsealedAny Person can Enter Dungeon InstanceAny Person can Exit Dungeon Instance
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Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Antipathy
Chapter Three Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Antipathy Puffles walked with a slow, stalking gait through the narrow corridor leading into the dungeon. His magic light, little more than a lightball with a bit more oomph, was enough to illuminate everything fairly well, but I still summoned a light of my own and noticed Amaryllis and Caprica doing the same.I was about to ask if the dungeon was going to be dark the entire time when we happened across an end to the corridor.This led to an open space, a rocky outcrop with steps leading down to one side.Towering above us, massive to the point of being almost incomprehensible, was a tree. Its trunk was as wide around as the Storm Tower, and it climbed far higher into the sky. Enourmous branches reached out and up, the ends holding onto a starry canvas high above while little flickering lights painted a night sky that didn’t match the mid-morning sky we’d just left.“Whoa,” I said.I loved this world. Every time I thought I’d seen something new and impressive, I’d stumble across something else that just amazed me. Like a huge tree hidden away in a cave where it absolutely wouldn’t fit.“That’s the dungeon core there,” Puffles said. He pointed to something, and I followed his directions with a squint. There was a shorter branch sticking out of the tree, almost like a hand, and at its end was a faintly glowing... something. The core, I supposed.It was covered in roots. In fact, the entire branch was, with more wrapped around the tree’s trunk. Some had pierced into the bark, finding cracks and nooks where questing tendrils could reach in.“A core visible from the first floor,” Amaryllis breathed. “I’d never heard the like.”“That is very unusual,” Caprica agreed. “Can’t we just... fly to it?”“Just the way it is. Usually it provides all the light you could need on this floor, but now that it’s covered,” Puffles said. He shook his head, clearly disappointed. “And no, you can’t just fly to it. It’s too far away.”“I can fly that distance,” Caprica said.“You’d think that. But the more you fly, the further it gets. You could fly all day and you’d still only be a few minutes from the ground,” Puffles said.I think I understood. This place would have been a little more magical with a great big dungeon core just hanging overhead the entire time. I tore my eyes away from the tree and the root-covered core. There was a path from the little outcropping we were on down into a zig-zaggy route between large roots that led all the way to the base of the tree.“Is that how we get to the next floor?” I asked with a gesture ahead.Puffles nodded. “Yup. Used to be that a bit of sugar water would have all the ants let you pass without trouble. You’d need a bit more to convince them to let you take their quilts.”“Quilts?” Calamity asked. “Like, blankets?”“That’s what we call them. The ants make these big nets out of their spit. Now, if you annoy them, they’ll spit those nets at you. It’s not hard to cut through, but it is a pain. I’ve seen folk trip and fall, and it’s hard to fly when your wings are all tangled up.”Caprica nodded, and I wondered if she had any experience with that.“So, what’s the trick now, then?” Amaryllis asked.“Mostly, we follow the path and kill any ants in our way. The vines make them weaker than they used to be, but more aggressive too. Can’t make it too far though, eventually the vines block out the path, and even my Weedkiller skill can’t get rid of enough of them to make it through.”I’d never heard of that skill before, but it seemed like something a farmer would want to have. I could wipe Evil Roots out with Cleaning magic, but that didn’t mean it was the only option. “If you don’t mind me asking, how strong is your Weedkiler skill?” I asked.“Hmm,” Puffles said. “Got it to the first magical rank, never pushed it past that.”“Ah, okay, thank you.” so rank C, which was pretty good, but it took until rank S for my Cleaning magic to really start working on the roots. Still, another possible option. I glanced to Amaryllis and she nodded a bit. If we ever made it to another Exploration Guild or something, we’d have to let people know about that trick.We formed up a bit before climbing down the side of the outcropping. Caprica took the lead, with Awen on one side and Puffles on the other with his pitchfork. Amaryllis and Calamity made up our rear-guard, and I ended up in the middle where I could dive in to help wherever it was needed.It was strange to see blades of grass towering above us, and there was even a dandelion that hung heavy nearby where each seed was as big around as my head.Our descent was noticed, unfortunately, and by the time we were halfway down the stairs over a dozen ants were skittering their way up to us. “Looks like they’re eager for a fight,” Caprica said. Her shield thunked down and she unsheathed her sword. “Stay behind me if you can.”Calamity hummed to himself, a little ditty that sounded all too casual as he nocked an arrow then let it loose.It thumped into the head of the lead ant, and it crashed down, the ants behind it scurrying over its body without even slowing down.Then Amaryllis got involved, and long arcs of lightning flashed out into the ants with a powerful crackling discharge. The ants convulsed, steam rising off of them, and little electric jolts flew from one to the other, spreading the damage around.Not to be undone, Awen fired her crossbow into the mass, and Puffles moved his pitchfork around so that the new lead ant rammed right into it.And then it was pretty much done.I felt kinda useless. I hadn’t even tossed out a fireball to help.“Are there any more?” Caprica asked.“Oh, plenty,” Puffles said. He tugged a cloth out of his back pocket and wiped the end of his pitchfork clean. “We’ll be seeing them down below. Some can’t move much, on account of the vines.”If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.Congratulations! Your party has exterminated 14 Quilted Ants (Level 4-5)! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!Huh, I’d gotten experience for that? I hadn’t done anything! Well, maybe it counted moral support or something? I didn’t know exactly how mister and misses menu decided to doll out experience.“Should we leapfrog forward?” Caprica asked.“Leapfrog?” I asked. I was pretty good at jumping, so I imagined I’d be good at that.“It’s when an army unit advances, stops, then allows another unit to advance past their position. Technically since we’re more like a singular unit, it would be more accurate to call it a bounding advance,” Caprica said.“Well, we usually just keep on ploughing through till we can’t,” Puffles said.I held back a laugh at the look Caprica got for a second there. “We’ll do what Caprica said, then,” I replied. “Maybe we can save up mana that way. Amaryllis doesn't have unlimited mana.”“I regenerate mana fairly rapidly, and I have plenty to spare,” Amaryllis said. Her huff right after basically told me not to underestimate her.“Ah, well, yeah, but there’s also three more floors after this,” I said.We got to the bottom of the stairs, circumventing the dead ants as we went. I noted that all of them were wrapped in black vines, with some vines digging into the ant’s tough exoskeleton through big ugly cracks.Were the ants in control of themselves anymore? It was hard to tell, I’d never spoken to one before, but according to Puffles they were acting strangely, so that had to be enough not to feel too guilty about smushing them all.I still felt a little guilty though.Once we were at the base of the outcrop where the entrance was, I could see why this floor was just one long corridor. The (non-evil) roots of the huge dungeon tree created walls on either side of our group, walls which twisted and turned so much that we couldn’t see all that far ahead.“I’ll take point for now,” Caprica said. “We can switch around at every intersection?”“We’ll see how we feel,” I said. “But for now, that sounds like a good idea. Amaryllis, want to hold back for the next one, then do your thing on the one after that?”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “Oh, very well. But if I think we’re in trouble I won’t be holding back.”“Of course not,” I said with a thumbs up. “Anyone else have anything they need to let us know?”“I’d like to try and retrieve what arrows I can salvage,” Calamity said.“I can maybe make you new ones,” Awen said. “Kinda? My bolts are made of glass. I think arrows are a little more complicated.”Calamity shrugged. “I can probably work out how to shoot glass arrows. I have a couple of archery skills that might come in handy for that. But I’d rather just use normal broadheads like I’m used to.”Awen nodded. “Okay. Just ask if you need them.”“We’ll pause to let you pick your arrows back up,” I said. I imagined the fact that these were dungeon monsters who faded to ash would help a lot since he didn’t need to tug the arrow out of a corpse or anything.“Heads up!” Caprica said.We turned ahead just as a trio of ants came around the corner. They were moving a bit sluggishly, their limbs partially tangled in vines, but when they sensed us, they picked up the pace. Then a few more came out from around the bend, and I got ready for a proper fight.We didn’t run out to meet the ants, because that would have been silly when they were already moving towards us. Calamity and Awen fired their respective bows at the front of the pack (what was a group of ants called, anyway?) and I prepared, then lobbed a big brace of fireballs that spun through the air, then splattered onto a few of them with sticky, fiery gobs.The ants also had ranged options though. One of them opened its mandibles wide, then with a yucky splorching sound, spat out a large gob of something sticky and wet.Caprica moved ahead of it, and the stuff thumped against her shield and then onto the floor with a wet splat.I opened Weedbane as the ants came closer. Calamity got off another quick shot, and Awen let out a frustrated grunt as she failed to cock her crossbow in time and just gave up in favour of grabbing her warhammer.The ants were... not very strong. Not only were they uncoordinated, what with vines catching on their many legs and tripping them up, they also didn’t seem to know where we were attacking from very well. Most of them being between levels four and five also didn’t help them any. Not that their carapaces weren’t naturally tough, it was just that they didn’t seem to have many tricks up their sleeves except for spitting out the occasional glob of stringy cloth in bright colours and strange patterns.I winced as a wet splat hit me in the calf. A glance down revealed a large clump of plaid cloth caught around my greaves. I shook it off, my Cleaning aura wicking away the spittle but doing nothing for the cloth itself.Soon enough, however, we’d fought through another batch of ants. I got another message from Mister Menu about experience earned (this time I felt like it really was earned) and then we started looking for Calamity’s arrows before anyone could step on one by accident.“These aren’t too difficult yet,” Caprica said.“It won’t get much harder than this on the first floor,” Puffles said. “Most folk choose not to fight though. There’s a lot of ants and not as many of us. It’s bad business to get swarmed.”“We’ll take our time then,” I said.At least it was good experience! Something told me I was due for another level up soon. It would be nice to be a bit stronger before we reached the wedding!
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Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety — The Class Struggle is Real
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety — The Class Struggle is RealCongratulations! Your party has exterminated 14 Quilted Ants (Level 4-5)! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced! Another pop-up from Mister Menu after wiping out another wave of vine-addled ants.With every turn in the floor we encountered formations of Quilted Ants that we had to fight through. They were never too much of a challenge though. With all of us working together and covering for each other, it was actually pretty easy.The closest we came to any trouble was when an ant which I’d stabbed with Weedbane managed to pull itself closer to me and its mandibles bit into my greaves. Fortunately, I managed to tug my leg back before it could really get a strong grip on me, and I wasn’t hurt. Awen had helped me finish that ant off with a heavy bonk from her warhammer.As it turned out, hammers and heavier attacks were better at killing the Quilted Ants than stabbing blows or even more of the magical attacks we had at our disposal. Cleaning magic only made things worse I discovered. Even wiped clean of vines, the ants were still angry with us and not having vines stuck to them only made them faster and harder to fight.“Oh,” Awen said as we all took a moment to breathe. “I levelled up.”“Nice work!” I cheered.Awen earned herself a hug, a bunch of them, even! Though some of our friends were more keen on back patting than anything.“Thanks,” Awen said. “It’s my Glass Cannon class. I guess what we’re doing here doesn’t really count as engineering.”“The tricky downside of having a non-combat class,” Amaryllis mused. “Unless you engineer a way to fight people, I suppose.”Awen nodded. “I’ve got ideas. But I’m just happy to get another level. It’ll help a bit.”“Will you get a new skill?” I asked.She shook her head. “Next level. But I’m looking forward to it. Another skill would help a bit, I think.”“Well done, in any case,” I said. “I bet you won’t be the only one to level in this dungeon though.”“Not with the amount of foes we’re felling, no,” Caprica said. “Should we keep going?”“How many more turns do we need to take?” I asked Puffles.The farmer looked up while rubbing at his chin. “Looks like we’re past the halfway point,” he said. “Maybe three more turns and we’ll be at the entrance of the tree.”“Is that where the second floor begins?” Amaryllis asked.“Yup, that’s where it starts,” he said. “Second floor’s not that bad. Just a lot of walking, but walking’s good for ya. The beetles are a lot to deal with, but with vines all over they’re not so bad.”Beetles? I was a bit concerned, but I was sure it wasn’t that bad. In any case, we still had to get to the second floor before anything else. It was Amaryllis’ turn to take on the next wave while Caprica and Calamity helped.Amaryllis stood near the front as we walked around the next intersection, and I heard her annoyed huff as she took in the passageway. Vines were strung across the entire space, some of them knotted around each other, others were so thick that it was hard to make out what was behind them. No, not vines. Evil Roots.Then there were the ants. Dozens of them, caught in the vines like bugs on a web. The ants saw us too, then there was a lot of sudden and violent squirming as they started to fight to get loose.A number of them succeeded, and Amaryllis started to zap them one by one.“This is so wasteful,” Amaryllis said.“You mean in terms of mana?” Caprica asked.“Exactly. When they’re all bunched together I can make my spells jump from one to another and it barely costs anything more. But when they’re all spread out like this... it’s frustrating.”“You could switch out,” Caprica said. “I’ll take these, if you want.”Amaryllis zapped a few more. “No, it’s fine. For all I know the next time it would be my turn to take care of them, they might be even more spread out. Besides, I’d rather use the mana now and have more time to regenerate it than anything else.”That seemed fair, and Amaryllis did clear out the ants at a perfectly acceptable pace. Once the last was a steaming pile of ash and we’d gotten a head’s up from Mister Menu that they were gone, I stepped up and used small lances of Cleaning magic to chop through some of the roots blocking our path.Puffles was able to do the same by stabbing them with his pitchfork and concentrating. The vines would wither and rot away, then flop down so that we could squeeze on through.The next intersection was Calamity’s turn, though we still formed a line in case an ant made it to us before Calamity could take it down.It was nice having a few friends who could take out a bunch of lower-levelled adversaries all on their own. Strong friends, basically. Though it might have meant that the rest of us weren’t levelling quite as quickly. At the moment it felt like Awen, Caprica and I were the weak links while Calamity and Amaryllis were just really good at fighting and stuff.Calamity’s bow twanged repeatedly, and I found myself flinching down as arrows zipped by. I wasn’t anywhere near them, but I could still feel the wind of their passing.Ants went down, one-by-one, though sometimes Calamity managed to hit two with a single overpenetrating arrow. Soon, the next little bit of passageway was cleared out of anything that moved.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.“Wow,” I said.“Thanks,” he replied, sounding very much like the cat who caught the canary. “And I levelled!”“You did?” I asked. I grabbed all of my petty envy, squished it up into a teensy-tiny ball, then sat on it for good measure. It wouldn’t do to be envious of a friend just because they levelled up. I’d get my turn too, eventually.Calamity nodded and adjusted his bow a bit. “I did. My primary class, too. One more level to go before it’s ready to evolve.”“Can I ask what level you’re at?” I asked as we started forwards. It was time to start clearing out a path in the roots again. Calamity started to retrieve his arrows, discarding any that had bent or broken and only keeping their heads.“Sure, I don’t mind. Nineteen and ten for me.”Amaryllis hummed. “You got your second class to evolve already. So another level and you’ll be eligible for a third class. Impressive.”“It would be more impressive if I had a good third class lined up,” Calamity said. “So far I’ve only done one dungeon, the one I used for my second class. I’ll be pretty stuck soon. Well, unless we get a class from this one, I suppose. Not sure if I want a Moth class though. No offence.”“None taken,” Puffles said.“What are your classes?” I asked. I couldn’t recall ever really asking him about them before. I knew he was good with a bow, and a good hunter and guide besides.“Ah, my first class is Whiskerwrecker,” he said while giving his dwarven-crafted moustache (which unlike my prosthetic beard, he still wore around) a nice tug. “It’s, ah, good for getting up to no good, if you know what I mean.”Caprica sighed. “I would have put good sylph gold down on you having some sort of Troublemaker class.”Calamity laughed. “Not far off the mark. My second class is Longstride Ranger. That’s one I picked up in a dungeon a little ways to the west of Slagstead Watch. Nearly lost my head down there a few times. Lots of traps for a place with ‘stride’ in its name. In any case, that’s a ranger class. Good for using a bow and hunting things.”“That’s cool!” I said. “And now you’re one level away from your main class evolving again?”He nodded. “Mhm! I didn’t have anything lined up for a third though, but I figured I had some time. Maybe I could look around after a hunting season or two, then trek to whichever dungeon I chose.”“I’m sure we’ll come across something good for your third class,” I said.“I’d like that,” he replied.“Did that Longstrider dungeon give you the class you have now?” Caprica asked.“Hmm? Oh, no, I just got Longstrider as a class from it. The ranger bit was added when I hit level ten,” he said.Oh, that made sense. Like how my Cinnamon Bun class turned into Cinnamon Bun Bun when I got it to level ten.We continued onward once Puffles and I had cleared out a path. The route twisted, but we were right up against the tree by then, and I didn’t expect to have much more to travel before we reached it. This might be our last bit on the first floor.This dungeon was downright strange, actually. At least compared to... wait, had any dungeon I’d been in not been strange?I was still pondering that as we came around the corner and appeared before a whole host of ants. One of them immediately spat a wadded up quilts at us, but Awen slashed an arm forwards and caught it with a lump of glass that made it too heavy to reach us.It was my turn to fight, and I was really looking forward to it! I wanted that level, so I locked Weedbane’s blade pointing straight up and away for maximum reach, then I bounced over to the nearest ant and got slashing.I couldn’t take them all on, of course, but I could grow myself into a giant for a short duration to stomp onto the ant’s heads with satisfying crunches, which took care of a lot of them.Those that got past were met by Puffles and Awen and Caprica, the three working together to get rid of the ants before they could cause any trouble.I was running a bit low on mana by the time I finished, and I found myself wiping my forehead clean of a fresh layer of (very clean) sweat. Stomping was tiring work, especially on the knees and heel. Maybe I could invest in big boots with a strong heel.“Done!” I said with both arms raised in victory. I let myself shrink back to my usual size, then bounced back to my friends. “I might need a couple of minutes to regenerate enough mana to push through those last few roots though.”“I can take care of a few of them, miss,” Puffles said. “Won’t be needing as much magic on the next floor. Vines make it easy, even for someone who can’t fly like the most of you.”“What’s the next floor like?” I asked.“Mostly it’s a big ramp that circles around the inside of the tree. All you need to do is climb to the top and the third floor, and you’ll be fine.”“I’m sensing some complications that make that harder,” Caprica said.“Well, there’s the rolling beetles, but we mostly fly over them,” Puffles said. “But with the vines all over, they can’t roll well, so it’s no trouble.”I had the impression that it wouldn’t be quite that easy, but I was willing to give it a shot!Well, just as soon as my mana recovered.One more floor meant one more chance to level up! I was looking forward to it.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-One — Ramp Up
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-One — Ramp Up “Oh, looks like we're going to need lights,” I said as we moved into the second floor.The entrance was a crack at the base of the massive tree, a space where the bark was pushed out enough for someone to walk in without bumping into the sides, though it was still a bit tight, and the entrance zig-zagged a bit, cutting off any direct light from outside.Hence my complaint about the darkness, because that little bit of light from the entrance was the only light in the floor.Puffles summoned another light ball and held it up above his head with one hand, then, surprisingly, he touched the magical ball to the tip of one of his antennas and it held there.I stared for a moment, then summoned a ball of light of my own-a spell I was growing pretty comfortable with-and touched it to my ear. It felt fizzly for a moment, but when I pulled my hand back, the light faded and disappeared.I, of course, tried again, but this time while also looking around. Amaryllis and Caprica had summoned their own lights, and Awen pulled out a little lamp from her backpack and turned it on before hooking it to her belt.It was more than enough light to see by, though I wished that the floor itself had its own, steadier lighting. The entryway seemed to be a big space with-unsurprisingly-floors carved out of the tree’s wood. The space narrowed out ahead and pushed to the left next to a great big hole in the ground that I couldn’t see the bottom of.“Is the entire floor this dark?” I asked.“Aye, it is. Never been much of a problem. Just got to cross the little bridge there, and then walk all the way to the top. That’s all,” Puffles said. He nodded, which made his antenna, and the light hanging off of it, bob up and down.“Seems too simple,” Amaryllis said. “Also, Broccoli, what are you doing?”I paused, feeling suddenly rather guilty with both hands up atop my head holding a pair of lightballs against the tips of my ears. “Uh,” I said. “I think I figured it out?” I let go, and the two lights stayed in place.I wiggled my head and the lights bounced around with the motion of my ears. It worked! The trick was pushing mana to the tips of my ears, which was surprisingly vexing. I hadn’t realised it, but all this time I was mostly casting spells from my hands and on rare occasions from my feet. Using magic with my ears was a new one, but this was less about casting a spell and more about feeding magic to a spell I’d already cast.Awen giggled while Amaryllis rolled her eyes with a ‘you’re very silly and I refuse to acknowledge your silliness’ sort of huff.“What’s the challenge here, Mister Ward,” Amaryllis asked instead.“Beetles, like I said earlier. They come rolling down the passage, bouncing off every wall along the way. If they hit you they can knock you down pretty hard, and if you tumble down that hole... Well, that’s it for you.” He pointed to the big hole, and I glanced over the edge again. Thankfully, I wasn’t afraid of heights, because the yawning darkness within might have been spooky otherwise.“Does that happen a lot?” I asked, worried.“Hmm? Nah, of course not. We can fly.” He beat his wings for show and lifted a bit off the ground. “Usually just fly past the entire floor, really. But with the vines in the way, can’t do that. Still, the vines make the beetles all messed up too.”That made sense. I could see some traces of Evil Roots already. They were smaller than some of them became, hanging from the ceiling like vines with bits of rotten wood clinging to them.“Let’s stick together, then,” Caprica said. “Maybe we can even tie each other together, in case? That way there’s less of a risk that any one of us will fall into the impossibly deep hole.”“I have rope,” Awen said as she reached into her backpack again. Soon we all had knots tying our belts together, which would definitely make moving through the dungeon trickier, but we were all pretty decent fighters, so I was sure we’d find a way around that.“Alright, so when the beetles come down, the best thing to do is just avoid them outright,” Puffles said. “Usually you can stick to the sides. The wall-side is best. They’re fast and they hit hard though, so don’t try stopping them.”“What happens if they’re stopped anyway?” Caprica asked. “What if one of them was stopped by some of those vines?”“Then we might have to fight them,” Puffles said. “They’re not great in a fight though. Big, but slow.”We crossed the hole via the bridge, careful not to trip into the pit, then once on the other side, we started to climb. The floor was angled upwards, moreso near the centre than on the edges, and was about three metres across at its narrowest.The whole thing reminded me a bit of one of those fun gumball machines, the ones where you’d put a quarter in and then the gumball would come rolling out of it and do loops before falling into a little basket you could fish them out of.Only instead of gumballs rolling down to be eaten, we had giant beetles rumbling down the worn wooden floor with a noise like thunder.“One of them is coming!” Caprica called out, though her voice was almost drowned out in the noise.Then a spinning ball of black and blue came rushing around the corner and before any of us could react, it impacted.Fortunately, the one it hit was Caprica herself, and she was ready for it. Her shield’s bottom rim was planted on the ground and her knees were bent just-so. There had to be magic and skills at play, however, because the beetle was as tall as I was, even rolled into a ball, and it had to weigh quite a bit, I imagined.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.The impact shook the floor under my feet, but Caprica didn’t move back even a smidgen.The beetle was flung backwards and it unravelled in mid flop, articulated body parts unfurling to reveal... well, a giant, rather angry beetle. It landed on all six legs, then shook its big head.“Nice block,” I said.Caprica just nodded and wiggled her shield arm, as if she was trying to get the pins and needles out of it. I imagined that a hit that hard had to sting, even if she blocked it.Amaryllis and Calamity immediately struck the beetle in tandem, one of his arrows plunging into its head while lightning crackled and raced across the giant bug’s carapace. It shook most of that off, surprisingly, until Awen levelled her crossbow and fired with a deep ker-chunk.Congratulations! Your party has rolled a Ball Beetle (Level 6) into an early grave! Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!“Nice work!” I said.“Mhm,” Puffles agreed. “We’ll be seeing more of them,” he warned. “They’re slow once they unroll, but try not to get hit anyway.”I nodded, that seemed like sage advice. Not getting hit was generally a fantastic thing to do in a fight.“At least, ah, we can hear them coming,” Awen said. That was also a good point. The beetle wasn’t exactly a stealthy enemy.“It dropped something,” Caprica said. I turned, looking at the spot where the last of the beetle’s body was fading away. There was something left there. A chevron-shaped chunk of what looked like the beetle’s shell.I fired off an Insight at it.Ball Beetle Shell Shield, New“A shield,” I asked. “Oh, that’s neat. Maybe you could use it, Caprica?”“We don’t get those too often,” Puffles said. “On account of avoiding most fights. But if you scrape that shield up into a powder with a grindstone you can make some very nice dyes with it.”Caprica picked the shield up and turned it this way and that, then shook her head. “It’s too small. Too light as well. I don’t doubt that it’s fairly tough, but it’s not the kind of shield I’m used to using.”I looked to my friends, and we all seemed to debate on who should have it. Calamity fought with bow and arrow, and if he needed to, he’d use a knife or a spear. He wasn’t keen on shields. Awen didn’t have a real use for it, and my fighting style relied on not being hit in the first place.“Well, I suppose I can use that for now,” Amaryllis said. “We might sell it to the village once we’re done. Or trade it for some of that dye.”With that sorted, we continued on our way up. It wasn’t long before we heard another rumble coming down, but this time, as we prepared to meet another beetle, the rumble just... stopped, some ways ahead.We shared a look, then continued onwards, though at a more careful pace. The number of roots were growing, with several of them poking through cracks in the walls and spilling out across the floor. They were actually kind of helpful, since the floor was at a constant incline and it was a bit hard to find our footing.As we continued, our lights (including my ear lights) illuminated the path ahead, and we discovered why the last rumbling had stopped.A big beetle was caught up in a heap of roots to one side of the passage. It had unfolded from its ball form, but that had only gotten it even more tangled in the roots filling that side of the passage.“Should we put it out of its misery?” Awen asked.I hesitated, but Amaryllis replied before I could make up my mind. “Sure. It’ll be good experience for the lot of us, I think.”Awen nodded, her bow went ker-chunk, and then we gained a little smidge of experience. I pushed the guilt in my tummy away. It was just a dungeon monster, so it wasn’t that bad. That didn’t change the fact that I’d felt bad for it.We continued upwards, and after a few more revolutions, I was starting to lose track of which direction we were facing. The walls all looked roughly the same, and the floor was decorated in nothing more than concentric ringsWe came upon another beetle that was caught in some roots, but the moment after Awen put it down, another rumble started to echo down from above. “It’s possible that one will make it to us,” Caprica said.“Then we ought to hide,” Calamity said. “There, behind the roots. If it takes the same route it’ll get jammed up too.”That seemed like a great idea, so we huddled up behind the outcropping of roots, ready to fight the beetle that came thundering down.Our optimistic planning turned out to be pointless as it roared past, knocking aside a few of the dangling roots and slapping us with a bow wave of wind.I barely saw more than a black-blue blur before the beetle was past and rumbling on down towards the ground floor.“Well, that was mighty exciting,” Calamity said after a moment.“Really,” I said. “Maybe we can avoid the rest too?”“As long as there are more roots the higher we go, I suppose that wouldn’t be too hard to do,” Amaryllis said. “In any case, shall we keep going? I don’t mind the break, but I’d rather have a longer pause rather than a few short ones.”“Yeah,” I agreed. “This is really working out my calves.”“It’s not ideal for my talons, I’ll give you that much,” Amaryllis said.“Now come on, ladies, I’m sure ny’all have perfectly pretty legs,” Calamity said.We all stared at him, while Puffles pointedly stared off into the chasm.Calamity wilted. “Oh, sheesh, fine,” he grumped.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Two — Upper Levels
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Two — Upper Levels The rest of the second floor wasn’t all that much of a challenge. We continued to climb, taking a small break around the three-quarter’s mark for something to drink and to let our legs rest, then we kept on going and going.Eventually we neared the end of the floor. By then, the Evil Roots had become so common that the beetles didn’t have any space to roll through, and we had to climb over and through tangled roots just to keep going.The others still insisted on killing them whenever we found some. I found it kind of distasteful, even if I kept getting ‘team fighting’ experience from it.“Finally,” Amaryllis said after we beat the final beetle on the floor. The ground levelled off ahead, and I seemed as if we were done climbing for a while.“What happened?” I asked.She smiled, looking quite smug with herself. “I hit level sixteen with my main class,” she said. “Just now. I’ve been looking forward to that level up for a while.”“Oh, wow,” I said. “Congrats!”“Thank you,” Amaryllis said. “It was a long time in coming. Or... well, perhaps not so long in the grand scheme of things. At the rate we’re going we’ll all be quite strong soon. A few more dungeons, a few more of your little adventures and we’ll be hitting our third tier.”“That would be impressive, yes,” Caprica said.“There aren’t many third-tier people around, right?” I asked.“One in a thousand or so,” Amaryllis said. ”Or that’s the rule of thumb, it varies a lot depending on where you are, and of course it varies by profession.”“In the army it’s closer to one in fifty,” Caprica said. “In the Paladins, it’s closer to one in ten. The Royal Guard are all in their third tier, since that’s a requirement to enter. There aren’t that many Royal Guards, however, likely for that very reason.”“Oh,” I said. So it wasn’t super uncommon, but it was still the kind of level reserved for the elite, or at least people who were at the top of their game. “Wait, wouldn’t a lot of older people reach that kind of level?” Most of us were pretty young, after all.“Oh, sure, but if you’re hitting your third rank when you’re quite old, then you’re probably already settled down,” Amaryllis said. “The race for power tends to be a younger person’s game. Well, level-based power. Political power tends to be an older bird’s game.”That made sense, I supposed. “Okay then! Let’s all hit our third tier before the year’s out then!”“Broccoli, the year will end in a couple of months,” Amaryllis said. “What kind of harebrained levelling scheme do you want to try?”“I didn’t know that,” I said. “So let’s hit our third tier before the end of next year, then!”Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “It only gets harder to gain levels as you go, you know? Each new push requires more unique experiences and more work than the last. Although... maybe it would be possible, but I don’t want to take stupid risks just to gain a few levels faster.”“Oh, fine,” I said. She was probably right, risking our lives just to level a bit faster was rather silly.In any case, the discussion about levels and experience and all that stopped as we finally reached the top of the floor. The ground was flat once more, and after walking up a ramp for so long, it almost felt strange to be on even footing once more.“This is it,” Puffles said. “Next floor starts right through there.” He pointed to a crack in the wall, not too dissimilar than the hole we’d squeezed into to get onto this floor. There was a bit of light coming in from the other side, so we’d at least be able to do away with all of the magic lights we had.I was fond of my ear-lights, but they were consuming a small trickle of mana pretty constantly, and so my mana reserves weren’t replenishing.“What can we expect on the other side?” Calamity asked.“Third floor is tricky,” Puffles said. “Not so bad if you can fly, but still not easy. Roots might’ve made it easier too.”“How’s that?” I asked.“The floor’s all about jumping from one platform to another. They’re branches with flat tops. Hop on over from one to the other and try not to fall to your death if you can’t fly.”“That’s concerning,” Caprica said. She was untying the rope holding us all together (which really, we should have done earlier) and then handed her end to Awen who started to coil it up. “Only two of us can really fly. And jumping from place to place can be tricky at the best of times.”“There’s more,” Puffles said. “The floor has fireflies. They’ll buzz around and make a bit of noise, but I’ve never known them to attack anyone. But their abdomens can glow, and that glow does things to people. Reminds you of the moon.”“We’re going to be mooned by firefly butts?” I asked.Amaryllis whacked me behind the head and I laughed while covering my ears.“Take this seriously, Broccoli,” she said. “The way he’s talking it might be a mental effect. Something like an attention-grabbing skill?”“Something like that,” Puffles said. “I’ve seen good folk get distracted and fly right into one of those fireflies. They’ll usually just bumble out of your way, but you might end up chasing after one of ‘em for a while, and then you’ll tire yourself out.”“So how do you avoid doing that?” I asked.“Mostly a question of willpower. You got to remember that no matter how pretty the fireflies are, they’re not the real sun or moon. No point in chasing after them. We’ve found that having lots of lights around help too. Keeps you focused on the closer lights instead of those that are further out.”Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“We could shoot them down,” Calamity said. “Depending on how many there are and how close by they fly.”“Awa, it depends on how big they are, and how quick they move too. I’m not as confident at range as Calamity is,” Awen said.“We’ll see, is there a safe space on the other side of the entrance?” Amaryllis asked.“There’s a platform of sorts,” Puffles confirmed. “The vines have grown all over the place. They might make it easier to jump around, might make it harder. Really depends.”With nothing better to do than move on, we slipped through the crack in the wall-some of us having to move through it sideways-then burst out onto the third floor.Calling it a floor was strange when it was clear that we were now way, way up on the tree on a small ledge created by one of the large branches sticking out from the trunk. There was a faint wind that caught at my skirt and I found myself tensing up a little as I moved to the edge of the branch and looked way, way down.It was a good thing I wasn’t afraid of heights, because the view, while quite spectacular, was still kinda frightening.“That’s the way up,” Puffles said over the wind as he pointed ahead.The branch curved upwards a ways while also narrowing and splitting off in a few directions, as branches did. The top part looked as though it had a layer of bark shaved off of it, creating a more even, flat surface to walk on.A few other branches had similar marks on them, and as I followed the path with my gaze, I was able to see where we’d have to jump from one branch to another. Some were a bit above, many of them would have us hopping down.“Where’s the fourth floor from here?” Caprica asked.“Other side of the tree,” Puffles said. “It’s a huge branch, and there’s only really one way to get to it. The path there can be a bit of a maze. Especially with these vines all over.”Ah, right, the Evil Roots. They were draped across branches like garlands. Some had those familiar Evil Root pods growing on them, and I was worried that we’d have to fight some nasty plant monsters on the way through.Then, there were the fireflies.They were big, plump bugs that bumbled about with a noise like a helicopter. The wind, I realized, wasn’t natural. It was coming from the fireflies as they gently flew past, butts blazing so bright that they lit up the entire world beneath the shadows cast by the tree’s canopy.“Mister Ward,” Caprica asked as she turned to Puffles. “Do the fireflies’ effects work on this ledge?”“Mhm, they do,” he said.“In that case, we should take turns looking at them while the others hold onto the looker. It’ll give us each a good idea of how potent the effect is on each of us.”That seemed like a reasonable thing to try. Caprica went first, and Calamity and I held onto her shoulders as she focused on the nearest firefly and squinted at the light coming from its rear. “Do you feel anything?” I asked.“Hmm, I recognize this feeling. A few people have used similar skills around me before, to grab attention and keep it. My father has something similar when he’s giving a speech. This isn’t as potent as that.”Soon enough it was my turn, and I squinted at the nearest firefly, specifically the large bulbous pod on its rear that glowed with a powerful yellowish light. It was quite pretty, actually. There were several different shades of yellow and white, all swirling into each other in a way that reminded me of a lava lamp.“Broccoli?” Awen asked.I shook my head. “Oh, right, uh, yeah, I guess it’s pretty? It is kind of distracting, but I don’t know if it’s dangerously distracting?”The others took their turns, and I could better see the effects on them than I could on myself. Mostly it amounted to whomever was watching the light being transfixed on it for a while, but anything that caught their attention would pull it away, even just calling out their name.“Hmm, you lot are better than most I’ve seen,” Puffle said with a nod.I... didn’t want to say it, but I suspected that the reason was somewhat innate. The Mothfolk seemed really keen on bright floaty balls of light, and that was before any sort of attention-grabbing magic was involved.“Okay, so now the only challenge is the jumps?” I asked.“They don’t seem that big,” Amaryllis said. “I think anyone should be able to make them, at least those I see. The branches are swaying though, especially when those fireflies move past. That might be enough to throw someone off their aim.”“Maybe we use ropes again?” Awen asked. “Will the dungeon do anything if you tie things together?”“Not as far as I know,” Puffles said.That settled it, and as a group we started down the main branch with Puffles and Caprica taking to the air around us. If someone missed a jump, then we had two fliers to help, which was reassuring.Puffles did fly off for a moment, but he returned with a serious nod. “I traced a good part of the path over. We don’t want to end up walking down the wrong way.”“Oh, that makes a lot of sense, yeah,” I said. There were a few places we could jump to, but it looked as though some branches didn’t reach others. Basically, we were traversing a massive three-dimensional maze where instead of walls, there were huge drops.I didn’t feel like using the old ‘stick to the left’ trick on this one.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Three — First-Person Platformer
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Three — First-Person Platformer I didn’t know if dungeons had a sort of... ‘fairness system’ to them.What I meant by fairness system was something that made it so that when challenging a dungeon, the dungeon wouldn’t go out of its way to make any floor entirely unfair. Each floor had a solution that anyone could figure out given a bit of time, and while some of them were a lot harder than others, I’d yet to encounter a dungeon floor that was entirely impassible.I mean, all the dungeon had to do was make the challenge of a floor to dig through a wall of rock that was a dozen metres thick, and that would stop everyone but the most determined adventurer from pushing through. But so far I hadn’t seen or experienced anything like that.Which is why I wasn’t too surprised by the platforming challenge on this particular floor.Calamity and Puffles worked together to outline the route we’d need to take. Puffles had the experience, and Calamity just had excellent eyesight, could judge distances really well, and had a skill that helped him find paths, which all combined to make him really good at mapping out the route we’d need to take.The first jump wasn’t hard at all. We had to move halfway down the branch that the floor’s entrance was on, then down onto a thinner branch that crossed it from below. The drop was shorter than I was tall, and straight down onto a flat platform.We were still careful about it.The fireflies buzzing around were a constant distraction, and being distracted while walking over a huge fall was a quick way to trip. So Amaryllis came up with a game while we were on our way to the second jump. “Broccoli, green,” she said.“Green!” I repeated. “Calamity... red!”“Red,” he said. “Caprica, yellow.”“Yellow,” she repeated. “Mister Puffles, ah, white?”“Hmm, White,” he replied. Then he called out Amaryllis’ name and a random colour that wasn’t the same one he’d repeated.The game was simple, because a complicated game would be distracting, and that’s what the game was supposed to stop. By having us listen to our name and the colour, we were paying attention to each other. Your mind couldn’t wander off, not for long since your name would be called out soon. And if one of us failed to reply, then we’d know that they were more distracted than they should be.I thought it was pretty clever.We continued our callouts until we reached the second jump. This one was a bit trickier, since it wasn’t just a straight-down drop, but instead we had to run and jump over a gap that was just a bit longer than a full pace. That was about a metre and a little bit, I guessed, which really wasn’t very far. I could skip further than that.Something about there being a massive drop made it a lot harder, however. I saw Awen breathing hard, and patted her on the back reassuringly. “It’ll be fine,” I muttered.She nodded, then jumped as Amaryllis called out her name. “Uh, blue, and Broccoli, purple?”“I think we can stop the callouts while we take turns jumping?” I asked. That seemed reasonable enough.We went one at a time, with Puffles and Caprica hovering below on either side of the drop, just in case. With all the Jumping practice I’d gotten, the gap wasn’t much of a challenge at all. Then Calamity casually hopped over and Amaryllis did the same, arms spread out to catch a bit of air. Awen was last, and I clapped as she took a running jump and easily cleared the gap. She ended up running into my arms on the other side, but she more than earned the victory hug.“Right,” Amaryllis said. “Let’s keep it up, then. “Broccoli, you were at purple?”I nodded and picked up the callouts where we’d left off.The next couple of jumps were pretty easy. One was a bit higher than the branch we were on, but it was closer too, so while we couldn’t just step up onto it, it wasn’t too hard to grab onto the bark on the side of the branch and use that to climb up. With a few friends there to give a hand, it was almost trivial.Really, when Puffles had suggested that this floor was tricky, I was expecting it to be... well, harder than this. Not that I wanted to let my guard down or anything. I was fully expecting to run into trouble at some point.And maybe because of that, we didn’t.We were all careful with each jump. When we came onto a jump that seemed a little tricky (the fifth jump required us to leap not only vertically but also across a rather wide gap) we did the smart thing and had our fliers carry all of our gear over first, then we each jumped one after the other with a rope tied around us and a flying friend tugging upwards to give each of us more lift.Being so cautious was probably slowing us down a ton, but I’d rather be slow and safe than quick and risk losing a friend.It didn’t take too long that we were nearing the end of the floor. “Teal!” I said. “And Calamity, burple. Also, Mister Puffles, what’s the next floor like?”“It’s the last one. There’s a boss to face, then the dungeon core and the exit,” he said.“Burple?” Calamity asked. “That’s not a colour. Caprica, blonde.”“Is blonde a colour?” Caprica asked. “In any case, can you tell us more about the boss? Puffles, scarlet.”“Scarlet. And I can. We call her the Moon Mother, though that’s not the boss’s real name. There’s two ways of beating them. Well, I suppose three.”We paused before the next jump, none of us having to really argue about taking a little break to let Puffles talk us through what he knew about the boss.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.“The first is to use the light in the room to distract her. We used to carry big mirrors with us to do that.”“We could have brought some,” Amaryllis said.“No point. The dungeon core was the light source, and it’s all tangled up,” he said. “Which leaves the other option. There are these flowers in the room called lunaflowers. They have a powder that’ll make the boss dizzy. Run around, hit the flowers, and create a big screen of dust and it’s barely a fight at all. The dust makes you feel a little sick too, but nothing that bad.”That was good to know. “What’s the third option?” I asked.“Well, I suppose you could just fight her the normal way. You’d need to be pretty fast for it to work, and strong. We never did fight her head-on. But I imagine the lot of you might manage it, if you really tried.”That was certainly an option, but I figured we’d try the flower thing first. A dizzy, uncoordinated dungeon boss sounded way better than one who was ready to fight.“Have the roots changed anything other than the light?” Caprica asked.“The room’ll be darker,” Puffles said. “So you need to keep that in mind. And there are vines all over. They clutter up the room, cutting across from one side to the other. Some are as big around as a man is tall. Last time we came all this way, there were enough of them that they made it hard for the Moon Mother to fight at all.”“How does she fight?” Calamity asked.“Mostly by trying to stab you with her legs. They’re long and end in sharp points. Ah, and there’s a lot of fluff around her neck. Hard to cut through that.” He touched his own neck, which was surrounded by a thick ruffle of pure white fur.“So we’ll need high-penetration abilities,” Amaryllis said. “Awen’s crossbow, maybe Broccoli’s scythe. Some of my better spells. Calamity, if you focus on softer areas. Can we take her wings out?”“They’re quite big. A few holes poked through them won’t do much,” Puffles said. Seeing as how he had moth wings of his own, I decided to trust his opinion on the matter. “It’s all rather moot if we don’t actually make it there though. Should we keep on going?”We were most of the way there already, and the closer we came, the more the Evil Roots were more of a help than a hindrance. They formed bridges across the gaps created by the branches, long ropes of thick roots that hung between the platforms we were jumping off of.None of us trusted the roots enough to try to walk across them, or to use them to get across one of the gaps, but they did seem to bind some of the branches closer together, and there was no harm in picking spots to jump from where we had a root-based safety net beneath us.Finally, we arrived at the end of the obstacle. In the permanent daytime of this floor of the dungeon, it was hard to guess how long it had taken us to get this far through the dungeon, but it had to be at least a few hours.Fortunately, the end of the challenge brought us to another large, wide branch that led back into the massive tree’s trunk. By unspoken agreement, we all decided to take a bit of a break far from the edge, but before crossing into the next room.It wouldn’t do to face a dungeon boss with a gurgly tummy. We pulled out some snacks and sat down to eat. We had some hardtack from the ship, and some of that strange blue fish we’d picked up in Codwood. That, along with some seeds and nuts, made for a pretty light but filling meal.That was for the best. We didn’t want to go in feeling bloated either.“So, tactics for this boss?” Caprica asked.“Ranged penetration as an opening,” Amaryllis said. “If we can use the terrain to keep distant from it and pepper it from afar, then that would make for the best option. Low risk, high reward.”“She can fly, though, so it might not be all that slow. And Puffles mentioned that she was somewhat armoured,” Calamity pointed out. “Might not be so easy.”“If it gets into close-range, then we’ll have to rely on Caprica to stall it if possible, and on Broccoli to strike it from different angles.” Amaryllis turned towards our guide. “Mister Puffles, how tough is she?”“Other than the fluff? About as tough as good leather, I suppose.”“Can that fluff be removed?” I asked.“It can be burned off,” he said.That was good to know. I could manage a fireball or two to help. We bounced a few more ideas around, but mostly our plans were kept on the simple side of things. Easy enough to change on the fly, mostly because even with Puffle’s descriptions, we didn’t know exactly what we were going to be up against.So we’d do our very best and work together to overcome whatever was in there!Once snack time was over, we picked up our stuff. It had been a nice break; we even had the fireflies putting on a bit of a bumbling show for us (now that it was okay to be a bit distracted, I did enjoy looking at them!) but it was time to get moving.Squeezing through another crack in the wall, we arrived at the boss room, and immediately we could sense the presence of the Moon Mother. The room was darker than the previous floor, and the air was thick with the scent of the lunaflowers that Puffles had mentioned.We could see the giant moth monster perched on a raised platform at the far end of the room, her massive wings folded neatly against her back. As soon as she sensed our presence, she let out a high-pitched screech and leapt into the air, her legs and wings unfolding as she prepared to attack.Between us and her, however, was a room full of crisscrossing Evil Roots, many of which had large, delicate looking pods dangling from them.Ah, that would complicate things a bit.
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Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Four — Broccoli vs Mothra
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Four — Broccoli vs Mothra “Alright, you know the plan,” Amaryllis said.Caprica ran ahead a little, then brought her shield up, ready to defend us. It wasn’t going to be needed quite yet, though.The Evil Roots draped across the room created several areas where the giant moth monster wouldn’t be able to cross through. She had to fly up and through a hole in the web-like roots in order to slip onto our side of the boss-room arena. That would give us a bit of time to react.We might need it, especially as one of the pods hanging off one of the roots shook, then fell off the root to hit the ground with a dull splat, some juices squirting out of the end and across the room.It stank, and I found myself reaching to pinch my nose on reflex against the wall of putrid stink hitting me.With a wet gurgle, a wriggling mass of leaves and roots clawed its way out of the pod, covered in a thick layer of goopy slime that it didn’t even bother shaking off itself. An Evil Seedling! We’d fought those ones before, in the Newbinnings dungeon a while ago.They hadn’t been strong then, just at level one like the technical newborns they were, but that didn’t make them any less of a threat to us when there was a dungeon boss in the room already.“Broccoli, Awen, go after the flowers,” Amaryllis said.“Right, got it!” I said. “What about the seedlings?”“That ugly thing?” Calamity asked. He nocked an arrow with casual ease and shot the seedling through the chest. It collapsed bonelessly, and that was one less threat to deal with.But there were dozens and dozens of pods on the roots all around us, and I saw a number of them squirming as the monsters within tried to free themselves.Awen darted to the right, so I went left. The lunaflowers were spread out across the edges of the room; some of them had been crushed by the Evil Roots, but a few were poking out from between them. The flowers were quite large, with petals as big as my hand, all bent upwards in a big teardrop shape with a big opening near the top. There was a bunch of yellow stuff in the middle, sharply contrasted against the deep purple petals.It wasn’t very nice of me, and my Gardening skill was quick to tell me that it was all wrong, but I grabbed the nearest Lunaflower by the stem right under the flower, then I gave it a vigorous shake.The yellow powder burst out, surrounding me in an expanding cloud while I held my breath and restrained my Cleaning magic. I didn’t want my magic clearing the air when I specifically needed that low air quality for fighting the boss.The boss had finally squeezed its way through the opening above and was coming down towards my friends.It was met in mid-air by a thunderous crack as Amaryllis released a powerful spell aimed right at its chest. Calamity’s shot, in contrast, didn’t make a noise, but as I blinked back the white line crossing my vision from Amaryllis’ spell, I could make out the fletching of one of his arrows poking out of the moth’s chest.Unsurprisingly, that wasn’t enough to bring her down.Caprica met the boss’s first probing attack with a heavy clang. She didn’t quite stumble back, but I could tell that it was still a heavy blow.“The other side! Quick!” Amaryllis said. She moved towards the wall of roots in the middle of the room, the others following after her. Calamity kept twisting around every few steps to let loose another arrow, and Caprica was backing away more slowly, side-stepping into the moth’s path as it stabbed forwards with its pointy-tipped legs.On the other side of the room, Awen paused within an expanding cloud of yellowish dust and fired her crossbow right in the boss’ side. Then she hooked the bow over her shoulder by its strap and took off running towards the wall.I wasn’t going to be caught out on this side of the room alone! I bounced towards the wall, only pausing to kick at a few poor flowers on the way to release their pollen into the air. I used a tiny bit of Cleaning magic around my mouth to keep the air I was breathing clear. Awen was using a piece of cloth for the same purpose, but I was worried that it wouldn’t be enough.I’d have to remember to check on her after.The boss screeched as Caprica finally slid under a large root, cutting the boss off from being able to hit her.The screech made all the roots in the room tremble, and then the pods started to fall. I don’t know if it was the shaking, or if the boss could somehow communicate with the roots, but it didn’t matter. I was squeezing my way through the wall of roots as pods splattered on the ground and disgorged Evil Seedlings.I popped out of the other side of the roots, then immediately deployed Weedbane into its scythe configuration and swiped at one of the seedlings while it was still ripping its way out of its pod.Amaryllis and Calamity were quick to hit some of the nearest ones as well, before they could start causing any trouble.“How’s it going?” I called out.“The boss isn’t taking nearly as much damage as I thought it would,” Amaryllis said. “We’re either going to need to hit it a lot harder, or this is going to take all day.”Mister Puffles landed nearby. He had been avoiding most of the fighting so far, and I couldn’t really blame him. He didn’t seem equipped for this kind of fighting. “Once the boss starts taking in some of the powder, she’ll be a lot easier to take on,” he said. Then he turned and kicked a seedling that was leaping towards him.The seedlings were all a little different, I noticed. Some were longer than others, and some had six limbs, others had multiple tails. They were all relatively low to the ground though, with bark-like skin as dark as the Evil Roots they were born from and strange eyeless faces with almost mandible-like mouths.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.At only level one, they weren’t a huge threat in terms of skills, but that didn’t mean they were powerless. Levels only mattered for so much, after all, and I didn’t want to get bitten by anything, regardless of level.“I’ll take care of the seedlings,” I decided aloud. “You guys focus on the boss!”“Right,” Amaryllis said.Awen nodded too, and started to rack another bolt into place. The boss was flying back up to the hole above, but this time she was slashing at the roots as she went through, outright chopping the smaller ones apart so that they came crashing down around us. That would make it easier for her to get through, and it dislodged more of those pods.I raced around the room with a few bounces, slashing at any fallen pods that hadn’t disgorged the seedlings within yet. Whenever I came close to a lunaflower I give them a quick smack on the stem, shaking them hard enough to send a scattering of dust loose.The room was starting to fill with a thin haze of yellowish dust, but I didn’t know if it was enough, especially not when the boss was still above it all.“It’s coming down again!” Amaryllis said. This time she fired a few dozen smaller bolts that sliced upwards and left long burns along the boss’ side, cooking some of the fluff that protected it.My friends scattered as the boss came crashing down, the sweep of her massive wings and the weight of her passing pushing back the yellow dust filling the air.My friends started coughing even as they forced themselves to pay attention to the boss.I grit my teeth and moved faster, cutting clean through another seedling while also preparing a brace of spells. Fireballs, the best ranged option I had after my Cleaning magic.I let them loose and the brightly burning embers smacked into the boss’ side. A couple caught the big mane of fluff around her neck on fire for a moment. Not very long, but enough to burn through some of its protective floofiness.Calamity continued to strike at the boss with a flurry of arrows that seemed to enrage it more and more. It stomped towards him, but then Caprica launched forwards with a sudden burst of speed and crashed into the boss shield-first with a heavy thump that sent it reeling until it spread all six feet wide to hold itself up.A quick slash from Caprica took off one of the boss’ antennae before she flew backwards and away from its retaliatory strikes.Awen and Calamity kept up the pace, raking the boss with bolts and arrows. Some caught in her fluff, but a lot of them poked through that anyway and soon the boss was starting to look a bit like a pincushion.“She’s almost down!” Amaryllis said.I think she was right. The boss was finally breathing in some of that yellow dust, and her motions took on a bit of wobbliness. She was swaying, and it looked like she was having a hard time tracking any one of us for longer than a few seconds. She wasn’t the only one who’d gotten a lungful, however. I noticed all of my friends coughing or holding a hand over their mouths.I took a big risk and leapt over to the boss, swinging Weedbane around in a wide, sweeping slash that dug into her skin. It didn’t go deep, but it did leave a big wound, and it looked to me like that was how we were going to take her down, with a thousand little cuts.Amaryllis called down another big lightning strike just as I kicked off the boss, and then Caprica rammed into it again.The boss crumpled. It wasn’t dead yet, but clearly we’d hurt her a lot. I felt a little guilty as Calamity carefully lined up a shot and fired, the arrow punching through what I guessed was a weak spot in the boss’s carapace and taking it out once and for all.The boss’s crash to the ground loosened a few last pods, so it wasn’t over quite yet... but really, the seedlings were easy to mop up once all of us could focus on them.Ding! Congratulations, you have mothdered the ‘Mother of All Moths, the Luminous Matriarch,’ level 8! For defeating a Dungeon boss, bonus exp is gained! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!The seedlings didn’t fade away the way the boss’ body did.“That was fast,” Mister Puffles said as he landed nearby.“Yeah,” I said. I heard Awen coughing, then I frowned and with a bit of focus, blasted some Cleaning magic all around, clearing out the dusty air.“Ah, thanks,” Awen said as she breathed more deeply. She coughed a few more times, then shook out the handkerchief she’d been using.“No problem,” I said. I was about to check to make sure everyone was safe and healthy when Calamity interrupted with a loud exclamation.“Loot!”I turned to see that he was right, there was loot. Where the boss once stood was now the last fading remains of dungeon monster ashes, and in the middle, a long pole... no, that was a staff! It was as long as I was tall (discounting my ears) and topped with a large glass ball that had a faint white glow coming from it. The staff was made of some sort of pale whitish wood, with some fluffy ruffles near the ball at the top.Amaryllis was quick to scoop it up. “Oh, now this is nice,” she said as she examined it. “A magical focusing staff.”“What does it do?” I asked.“It... focuses magic,” Amaryllis said, giving me a somewhat puzzled look. “Specifically... hmm, it looks like it’s made for light magic.”I shrugged. The only wand I’d ever really handled didn’t seem to work the way I expected it to. I wondered if this staff was the same.In any case, it looked like we were done with the boss! Now we just had to clean up the core and fix this dungeon up! Easy!
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Meanwhile, the sidekicks
The others had all had their turns. Today, it was Orange’s, and she intended to make it a memorable night. Or day? It was hard to tell.The strange space between spaces was a realm all of its own, which followed its own rules. Much like a spirit world, it was both real and not.At least it was timely. They had a game every Friday evening, and it always ended with all of them back home as if not a single minute had passed. That was fortunate, otherwise it would interrupt her meticulously planned sleeping schedule.Tonight was her night though, at long last. The Pet Extradimensional Tax-exempt Association was about to learn what it was like to have a proper apex predator in charge.Orange fussed with things around the table. She walked around the edge, batting anything left on it from their last session off the side, then she sat behind the game master’s screen and scowled. The dimension responded to her will, and sheets of paper appeared around the table before three empty spaces. Rules, notes, shortcuts, and a small heap of colorful dice appeared behind the screen, and Orange grinned the grin of a cat seeing the mouse who had seen the cheese.As the other characters began to appear one by one, Orange couldn't help but feel a tinge of excitement mixed with mischief.First to arrive was Auri, the fiery phoenix, who fluttered in with the grace of a hummingbird, looking as self-absorbed as ever. She preened her beautiful, fiery feathers and cast a glance at her reflection in a conveniently placed mirror, oblivious to Orange's grin growing wider.Next came the Plushie, the adorable, blue-eyed, white-furred creature with a hidden dark side. It waddled over to its seat, carrying an assortment of weapons that appeared comically oversized for its tiny frame. As it settled down, it innocently cooed, "I love you," which only served to make Orange's grin more sinister.Finally, She-Who-Feasts-On-Many-And-Gets-Much-Gold, also known as Arthur, teleported in with a loud "pop" and a puff of smoke. The teenage dragon gave a haughty snort before settling down at the table, a small pouch of gold around her neck jingling as she moved.Orange surveyed her fellow participants with a gleam in her eyes. The game was about to begin, and she was determined to make it a night they wouldn't soon forget."Welcome, my fellow adventurers," Orange began, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "to a tale of daring, deception, and the ultimate test of your true natures." She paused, relishing the looks of anticipation and curiosity on their faces. "Prepare yourselves, for tonight's game shall reveal who among you can truly embrace their chosen roles... and who shall fall to their true instincts."What’s the game?Orange nodded to Arthur. “This is Mortals and Mayhem,” she said.“Let’s be friends!” the plushie said.Orange rolled her eyes. Where had she heard that before? “I know, but this time it will be difference. Your character sheets are in front of you already.”BRRRT? Auri asked.“Yes, I’ve premade them. They’re made special just for you.A magical hand appeared next to Auri and she flipped the page around. Then the little phoenix brrt’d most mightily, wings all aflutter.What is it? Is the character not brokenly overpowered?Brrt! BRRT! ... BRRRRT!The more Auri read from her sheet, the more incensed the little phoenix became. By the end, little spurts of fire were flicking off her wings with every beat and the character sheet was trembling before her in the ever-tightening grip of her mage hand.Arthur leaned way over, then scanned through the page. Then the dragon started to cackle.A water druid! Yes! A humble water druid is perfect for you, Auri!Orange certainly thought so. “No fireballs,” she said calmly. “She-Who-Feasts-On-Many-And-Gets-Much-Gold, why don’t you look at your own character?”Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.The juvenile dragon’s mirth froze, and she rather nervously looked at the sheet before her. Carefully, she turned it over, then squinted at the page. Her expression morphed into draconic horror.Auri flittered over to read, and soon joyful (and a little mean) BRRTS sounded out as the phoenix laughed herself into a barrel-roll.A... a Paladin who donates all the gold they make? They’re not even a dragonkin!“I thought it would be interesting for you to play,” Orange said with a fresh lick of her paw. Her eyes turned to the most difficult person at the table.“I love you!” the plushie said. It hadn’t looked at its sheet at all, but Orange could feel the anger pulsing out of those lifeless plushie eyes.Auri and Arthur both craned their necks to see what their character was, and soon Auri’s pleased BRRRT’ing continued.A pacifist healer.With everyone's roles revealed, Orange wasted no time in setting the stage for their adventure."You find yourselves in the bustling town of Harlequin Haven, a place known for its eccentric inhabitants and magical oddities. Your quest, should you choose to accept it, is to retrieve the legendary Whimsy Stone, an artifact that grants its possessor the power to alter reality in the most unpredictable ways."She watched them from over the lip of the GM screen, tail tip twitching. Yes, this was going ot be fun.As the game unfolded, the players struggled to adapt to their new roles. Auri, the water druid, grumbled and Brrt'ed as she desperately tried to quench fires with water spells instead of creating them. At one point, she accidentally flooded a local tavern, drenching the patrons and prompting laughter from Arthur, who was having her own set of problems.Arthur, the gold-donating paladin, found it nearly impossible to part with any treasure they encountered.Her draconic greed battled with her character's niceness, and Arthur protested and whined about every coin donated to a better cause. At one point, she tried to secretly hoard a handful of coins, only to be caught by a group of orphans she was meant to help.Orange was never so satisfied to make one of her friends cry before.The Plushie struggled to suppress its murderous tendencies. It would often wander towards the violence, cooing sweet nothings like, "Let's be pals!" before remembering its role and reluctantly tending to the wounded. It did like to heal fallen enemies back from the brink just to watch them die again.However, when an injured child appeared in their path, The Plushie's protective instincts kicked in and it seemed-momentarily-content with the role of healer.As the adventure progressed, chaos reigned, and the pets found themselves in increasingly absurd situations.They encountered a gang of thieving squirrels, were chased by an angry mob of enchanted brooms, and even found themselves trapped in a room that turned their weapons into sentient, talking fish.With every passing moment, Orange watched with delight as her adventurers stumbled and bumbled their way through the game. It was truly a memorable night, filled with laughter, mishaps, and the occasional fiery outburst from a certain disgruntled phoenix.Finally, however, the night drew to a close.The legendary Whimsy Stone was within their grasp, the characters were forced to band together and embrace their new roles in one final, climactic battle against a fearsome foe!As they emerged victorious, each had learned something new about themselves and gained a newfound appreciation for the challenges and quirks of their chosen roles.Orange couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction, as if she’d just finished a bowlful of milk onto to find a baby mouse drowned within. The Pet Extradimensional Tax-exempt Association had indeed experienced a night to remember, and the apex predator in charge had ensured that they would not soon forget it.
The campaign continues on the link below!
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Five — Cutting Edge Cleaning
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Five — Cutting Edge Cleaning We took a bit of time to make sure every Evil Root seedling pod was split open and the monsters within properly splattered. It was icky work, but Amaryllis and I both suspected that these seedlings were the things that brought the Evil Root infection to new dungeons.It was a little bit like a virus taking root in someone’s lungs, then when they sneezed they’d spread some of it around. What we were doing was getting rid of the part that caused the Evil Roots to spread.Which brought up the question... could someone unscrupulous spread Evil Roots around by capturing a number of these seedlings and sneaking them off to healthy dungeons?The seedlings were rather obviously evil-looking, what with their mandibles and insect-like carapaces. Amaryllis suggested that they might have a bunch of natural stealth-based skills that allowed them to better sneak into uninfected dungeons.I wasn’t sure how they got through the dungeon to reach the core, but maybe they didn’t need to? What if a seedling dying in any floor was enough to spread the infection through the entire dungeon?I... didn’t know if that was correct or not, and I didn’t have any sort of background in anything that could help me there. Maybe we could write to Sylphfree about it? They were doing a bunch of research on the subject, I was sure.Once everything was cleared out and the boss’ room was made secure, we... well, took a bit of a break. I made sure that everyone was clean, both because there was still some lunaflower dust in the air, and because we got splattered by some of those Evil Root pods and I was worried that their juices might be a bit toxic.Amaryllis played with the staff for a bit, but then she passed it on to the others. Caprica frowned, then waved the staff around in a big circle that left a trailing light where it passed. The light’s colour changed as it moved, the trailing edge gently fading away.“Pretty,” I said.“It’s making it very easy to cast this,” Caprica said. “Want to try?”I shrugged. I couldn’t see why not?Grabbing the staff, I squinted at the end, then thought of the lightball spell that I knew. That one was easy, just a knot of mana. I summoned one in my hand and... it didn’t feel any easier.Then I tried to summon one on the end of the staff, and if anything, it was much harder.“Channel your mana through the staff, as if it’s another limb,” Amaryllis said. “The staff will make turning your natural mana into light mana easier.”“Oh,” I said. I pushed my mana through my hand and up the staff, and it really was quite easy. A simple knot on the end and the mana turned into a brilliant ball of light that I had to blink off before it blinded me. “Oh! I get it! That’s cool!”I thrust the staff forwards while trying to make what were essentially fireballs, and a few balls of light shot out of the end and puffed harmlessly against the dungeon’s walls. I tried the same with Cleaning magic, and it turned the balls of cleaning magic into glowy balls of... well, it was still a little bit Cleaning magic, but it also seemed to have some Light-aspect mana mixed in.Awen played with the staff next, and Calamity and Puffles both passed, neither really interested in it. “We have a few of them in the village,” Mister Puffles explained. “They don’t drop that often, but once in a while we’ll get one. We use them to make more permanently-bound lights in our homes, but that’s about it.”“Light magic isn’t great in a fight,” Awen said. “But... um, can I keep this?”“I don’t mind,” I said.“No complaints here,” Amaryllis said. “If it was a Lightning or Electric based staff I’d be salivating over it. Even a generic staff designed to improve control would be worth a lot, but a staff specific to a magical aspect that I don’t use... yeah, go ahead.”“Likewise,” Caprica said. “Besides, I don’t use magic in fights very much. I know the basics, but it’s not my area of expertise.”“What will you make with it?” I asked.Awen twisted the staff this way and that. “I could just make a strong light fixed to my crossbow. That could be useful in some cases. But... I don’t know, but I think Light and Glass magic work well together. There’s potential there.”“Well alrighty!” I said. “Should we keep moving?”I was pretty relaxed now that the biggest part of the dungeon’s challenge was behind us. It hadn’t been the hardest dungeon I’d ever faced. Then again, it was a pretty low-levelled dungeon overall, so maybe that was to be expected.The exit was behind the perch where the boss had been waiting for us when we entered the room. It was a long tunnel dug into the wood-unfortunately, it was almost entirely impassible.“Oh,” I said as I poked at the roots pouring out of the passageway. “Yeah, this’ll be tricky,” I said.“We weren’t able to break through,” Mister Puffles said. “This tunnel goes on for a good forty paces before opening up to the place where the core sits. The exit to the dungeon’s right there too. Last time we had to turn back and leave the long way.”I pressed my hand against the nearest root, then with a grunt of effort and some focus, fired a slicing beam of Cleaning magic out that bit into the root with a nasty hiss, like dropping raw meat on a hot pan.The root squirmed a bit, then my magic sheared though it and the long trail of root leaving the tunnel fell back.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.Calamity grabbed it, then tossed it away, but there was still plenty of root left, including the one that I’d just cut.“We’re going to have to chop off chunks and toss them out,” I said. “I could burn them all with Cleaning magic, but I don’t think I’d get very far.”Just to try, I pushed my Cleaning aura into the tunnel, then ramped it up a bit. The magic enveloped the roots and started to eat away at them, but it was very slow. It progressed just barely fast enough for me to tell they were beginning to wither, but if I tried things this way, I'd run out of mana long before breaking through.Maybe if I did both? Concentrate the Cleaning magic to cut off chunks that were letting my aura eat away at the rest of the roots? Some of the Evil Roots were no thicker than my thumb, so they’d break apart easily enough. It was the really chonky ones that were thicker than my torso that would require a lot more work.I pulled out Weedbane, locked the blade in place so that it was parallel with the staff, then pushed my Cleaning magic to the edge of the blade. It cut through with... well, not ease but a lot less difficulty than when I was trying to cut through with nothing but pure mana.“This is doable,” I said as I chopped through more of the bigger roots. Without having to ask, my friends formed a line behind me, like a bucket line where each grabbed a chunk of root and passed it on to the next. The person in the line would toss the root chunk out into the boss room where they started to form a pile.“How’s your mana?” Amaryllis asked.“Uh... not great,” I said. We were only ten paces in when I started to run low. I shut down my aura to conserve it, but then it only lasted a few more slices before I started to really run dry.“Give me a turn at it,” Mister Puffles said. “And maybe pass on that scythe of yours. It looks an awful lot better than anything I’ve got to work with.”I nodded, then left the tunnel and sat by the entrance of it. I felt a bit flushed and a little tired, but that was probably just the lack of mana. It felt like I had low blood sugar, as if I was all floaty and a bit dizzy. Not a very nice feeling.Mister Puffle’s Gardening skills came in handy, and he was able to chop through the Evil Roots. It wasn’t as quick as my Cleaning magic, but it still let him work through the roots while I recovered.At some point, the speed in which I regained mana had increased. I had to sit down and measure it properly one day, but it was much faster than the one-mana-a-minute I once had. I asked Amaryllis about it.“There are a few reasons for that. Constant use of mana is like a muscle. Eventually you become better at processing naturally occurring mana and turning it into mana you can use from your body’s reserves. More mana means that you improve that mana muscle faster, and the greater your Magic stat the better your control and the faster you’ll regain mana.”“Oh, cool,” I said. “So it’s not just my level, then?”“It’s partly that, partly practice, and sometimes skills play a factor in it as well. The more magic-reliant skills you have, the better you’ll be at regaining mana.” She frowned. “Speaking of which, don’t you have a skill that lets you steal mana from others?”I blinked. "Oh yeah ... Way of the Mystic Bun can do that. I hadn't thought of using it here."“Is it permanent?” Calamity asked.“I don’t think so,” I said.“Then you can take some of mine. Hardly ever use it,” he said.I decided to only take a bit. Mostly because I was worried that stealing someone else’ mana might hurt them if I took too much. Maybe it would injure Calamity’s... mana conduits? How did mana move in a person’s body? I didn’t know, which meant that I didn’t know if I risked hurting him, and Amaryllis wasn’t certain either.Calamity’s magic felt strange. Slow and thick and hearty, like cream soup with mushrooms. It wasn’t bad, but it responded differently than any mana I’d ever interacted with. Then again, all I had to compare it to was some fleeting feelings during a few fights, and Amaryllis’ own magic which was quick and zippy and like to throw off the occasional spark.I refilled my mana by a dozen points using Calamity’s mana supply, then I let go. “Alright, once you’re filled up again, let me know,” I said. “I don’t want to take any more than that each time.”“Awa, you could take some of mine too?” Awen asked.She extended a hand towards me, and gave me big soulful eyes that I couldn’t say no to.Her magic was strange too. Slick and... precise? It felt like she was letting me take it bit by bit. As soon as I had control over a piece of it, the magic felt like it ‘broke’ apart. It was hard to describe, but I supposed that maybe that was part and parcel of her magic being Glass aspect.“Thanks!” I said.Caprica was next, and by then I figured I had no choice but to take a little from everyone. In a way, I got it; my friends all wanted to help, and this was an easy way to do it.Caprica’s magic was almost impossible to pull. I could grab onto it, but it refused to budge until I put some serious effort into it. Once I did have it though, it was warm and gooey and rather nice.Was I reading too much into all this magic stuff?Probably, I decided. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t interesting! I just hoped that my own mana was warm and fuzzy and nice too. “Okay,” I said. “I think I have what I need to beat back another chunk of that root. Let’s go save that core!”
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Six — Core Strength
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Six — Core Strength It took another hour to cut through the tunnel, but at least we had something of a system in place to help us push through by the end.By rotating which friend would let me take a bit of mana, I could steal mana from someone who was topped up already, so my worries about harming them through the theft were pretty low. Amaryllis also said that it wasn’t dangerous, not unless I really went all out and pulled too hard at someone’s magic all at once, but I wasn’t so sure about that and preferred to err on the side of caution.The worst that could happen here was that we’d take a bit longer to get to the end of the dungeon, and that wasn’t that big a deal.In any case, we did make it to the end. I chopped the end off a last branch of the Evil Root then I passed the bits back to my friends. The core was just ahead of me, in a large more or less open room.I turned back and looked down the length of the tunnel. It was very satisfying to see not one sign of the Evil Root infection left behind. All the smaller roots had been disintegrated by my Cleaning aura, and the bigger bits had been chopped up and thrown out. We had done good work.But we had another step ahead of us. I waited until my friends were back from tossing out the last of the root before I turned towards Mister Puffles. “We’re almost at the core, but where’s the exit?”“On the other side of the core. There’s a door that opens up into the dungeon’s entrance. It shouldn’t work that way, but it does,” he said.“Strange. Usually dungeons have their core away from the exit. But I suppose this isn’t too unusual,” Amaryllis said. “Are we going to clear the core room out entirely?”I looked into the room. It was going to be impossible to walk through. There were roots all over. The room was round, like the inside of a large sphere, with big cuts missing from the walls around it that overlooked the massive tree that we’d climbed. Interestingly enough, there were sort of natural catwalks leading across the room, which left gaps through which I could see the ground far, far below. A number of roots had wormed into those openings to reach the core.“I think I’m going to cut off all the roots on the outside. We can toss them off the sides. Then I’ll clean out the core itself. We should be close enough to the core to get lots of mana by then, especially if we stop the roots from absorbing it.”“It might be wise to clear a path to the exit, then,” Caprica said. “You’ll be turning that mana into a weapon against the root, but the rest of us don’t have that option, and I’d rather not get mana poisoning from being so close to a core today.”That was a fair point. So with that last change to my plan, I got to work. First I started cutting across all the roots and such on the right side of the room, pushing towards the exit as I did. My friends helped me toss the roots to the ground below, so as we pushed through the brambly mess towards the exit door, the room slowly cleared out of roots.The roots nearest the core had big leaves on them, all of them turned so that their flat was towards the core, like a sunflower chasing the sun.Amaryllis poked at one of the leaves, then made an interested noise. “These can sap your mana,” she said. “I wouldn’t have noticed it if I hadn’t been practising with Broccoli. It’s very weak, very subtle, but definitely there.”“So they’re part of how the roots take the dungeon’s mana, then,” I said. “Kind of obvious, really. We knew that already.”“The way the leaves are placed, ah, I think they’re more to capture the mana escaping from the roots wrapped around the core,” Awen said.That made sense too. In any case, though, we were here to destroy the roots, so I let my aura out and pushed it towards the leaves, which caused them to wither and die on their stems. I noticed a slight increase in the rate that my mana grew after that. Not as much as when I’d stood next to an uncovered dungeon core before, but still more, and that was extra handy now that I was using up my mana as quickly as I could to burn through the roots.If I was a very patient bun, I could have sat on the edge of the room and just let my Cleaning aura burn through the roots slowly and surely. Eventually that would clear the room out, but I also wanted to get back to the Beaver before nightfall.The door at the far end of the room was a wooden door that, when opened, revealed the same tunnel that we’d walked through to arrive at the first floor of the dungeon.That didn’t make sense, of course, since we were at the end of a big branch of the tree way, way above the first floor, but a lot of the geometry in this dungeon didn’t make sense, so I decided not to think about it too hard.“Okay,” I said as I finished chopping up the last of the branches. We had cleared out the longer roots, and now all that was left was the bundle in the centre of the room.They were already growing. Tiny, seeking tendrils were pushing out and away from the core, growing very, very slowly, but not so slowly that I couldn't see them grow. If left all on their own, I was certain that they’d eventually reconnect with the other roots in the dungeon and the whole Evil Root network would be back.But I didn’t plan on letting that happen. “Alright, now’s the complicated part,” I said. I reached for the core, letting my Cleaning aura push ahead.My initial probing attacks did little more than scrape against the roots — so far, this was the densest Evil Root material I'd encountered.I narrowed my eyes, rolled up my metaphorical sleeves, and gathered my mana into a drill around my outstretched hands. With an audible hum, I spun it up and began grinding forward. Dark chips of root spewed out, disintegrating to nothing as they collided with my aura. Centimetre by centimetre, I carved deeper, and soon, I broke through the roots covering the core and my fingers brushed against it. I felt an electric tingle running down my arm and down my back until my tail poofed out and I let out a small gasp.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.My mana was full. More than full, even, it was overflowing, and I basically ripped open the tap on my Cleaning aura, letting it burst out of me in every direction.I knew that I was pretty much spotless, normally. After all, I had my aura running pretty frequently and it did wonders in keeping my squeaky clean, but I’d never pushed it to this degree.It started to hurt. My skin felt like it had been exfoliated all over and I noticed some of the colour fading on the edges of my gambeson, the bright blues turning slightly paler as the dye was washed away.I yanked my hand back with a tug, and for a moment it felt like I was pulling metal away from a powerful magnet until I got some distance. “Whoa,” I said. “Is everyone okay?” I asked.My friends seemed fine. The roots... not so much. All of those on the side of the core I was on were flaking away as though I’d attacked them with a blowtorch and even the roots on the other side seemed like they were withering.I walked around the core, then pushed some Cleaning magic at the remaining bits. The core glowed. It was a big ball of something almost glass-like with a powerful inner light that shone brightly now that it was cleaned off.Still, just to be safe, I flooded a mist of Cleaning magic over it, to get rid of any lingering root particles.“We should get moving,” Amaryllis said. “We’re approaching a pretty high level of mana saturation here, and that’s just not healthy.”“Right,” I said. We didn’t want to get sick so close to the end!I didn’t get any quest updates from Mister Menu, so I decided to just sweep the room one final time, then after glancing around to make sure it was all good, I followed my friends out of the door and tugged it shut behind me.“That’ll set things back to right for a while,” Mister Puffles said. “We’ll have to be more diligent about trimming those vines from now on.”I brushed down the front of my skirts, then pinched the material between my forefinger and thumb. Was it getting a bit thin? Maybe I would have to upgrade soon. In any case... "let’s go back to the first floor,” I said. “We’ll see if the dungeon’s started to fight the roots or not.”He looked a bit confused, but didn’t argue when I stared back down the tunnel leading to the first floor instead of towards the dungeon’s exit.What we found was... the normal first floor: a bunch of passages in a zig-zag with giant ants in them and a lot of big roots.What was different was the reaction of those ants. They were attacking the roots, chomping at them with their mandibles and shaking their heads to saw through the roots.They weren’t getting much done just attacking the roots like that, but I did see that their bites were slowly chopping through even the tougher roots bit by bit. Whenever there was an ant that was infected by the roots, the others would turn on it and attack, and it would turn to dust.“Never seen the like,” Mister Puffles said.“The dungeon’s reacting to the roots!” I cheered. “That’s great! We’ve seen a few others do that once you’ve cleaned the core. I... don’t know if that’ll prevent it from being entirely infected or not, but at least this time it’ll help fight against the roots, you won’t be the only one working to remove them.”“Well, I’ll be,” Mister Puffles said. “You might have just saved us a whole lot of trouble, misses and sir.” He tipped his hat to my friends and I.Grinning from ear to ear, I lead my party back towards the exit. I was a pinch tired, but the good mood that came with a job well done was keeping me afloat.Near the exit, we finally got a message from the dungeon.Dungeon Cleared!All adversaries within The Golden Light Dungeon Defeated.All Bosses DefeatedBroccoli Bunch, Cinnamon Bun Bun, level 14, Wonderlander level 5, is awarded the Mothman class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Mothman?Replacing your current class will reset your level 0.That was a nice reward! Of course, I said no, I was quite content with my two classes already.Then, out of the blue, Mister Menu hit me with another message.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 15!Stamina +10Flexibility +5“Level up!” I cheered.We were laughing, and I got a number of nice pats on the back as we exited the dungeon as a tight-knit little group with our prizes in tow. Mostly that was the shield that Amaryllis had picked up, and that staff Awen now carried with her.We were met by a welcome wagon of mothfolk, including Mister Lepido who seemed to take in our good mood and decided that it was a good sign. “Hello, adventurers! How did it go?”“Looks like they might’ve fixed our problem,” Mister Puffles said. “Not entirely sure yet, though. No offence.”“None taken,” I said. “But, ah, we promised some of our younger, newer crewmates on the Beaver Cleaver that they’d get a chance to run through the dungeon. Do you think we could arrange something like that now? You’ll be able to see if the dungeon’s cleared of roots all the way through at the same time.”“That sounds perfectly reasonable,” Mister Lepido said.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Live Free and Dine Hard
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Live Free and Dine Hard The mothfolk decided to throw a small impromptu party. As Mister Lepido said, many of the locals had moved out, but those that remained were really happy to see the Evil Roots cleared out. Or at least, pushed back-we couldn't know for sure if the dungeon had shaken them off completely, just yet.The mothfolk here seemed hopeful, but they weighed their hope against an equal measure of caution. They’d believe that the Evil Roots were eradicated from their dungeon when they didn’t see even a single sign that they existed anymore. For now though, they were happy to celebrate us trimming back the roots and clearing out the core.Puffles promised-before he left with the Scallywags and a couple of others to face the dungeon again-that he’d be checking it daily until he was certain that the roots were all gone for good.That’d have to be enough.I... didn’t know if my way of clearing out the roots really worked in the long-long term. I’d never been back to a dungeon I’d cleared to check it out. Still...I put it out of my mind. The folks back at Sylphfree were monitoring the dungeon I had cleared for them. If the infection started showing up again, I was sure they'd tell us.With a big table set out in the glade before the dungeon's entrance, we sat down and had a big lunch.There were lunaflower cakes-which were strangely spicy-and a few different flavours of stew, as well as big round loaves of very pale bread that one local called sunbread and which tasted very nutty.I noticed that the average age of the locals was... older. Mister Lepido seemed old enough to be my grandpa, and he was about average as far as age went. A lot of grannies were bringing pots of stew over and cackling together off to one side. A number of them had brought out small stools and benches to keep the weight off their knees.The men were almost all wiry and tough and I heard a lot of ‘back in my days’ when I flicked an ear in their direction.It seemed as if the younger half of this village had almost all moved to greener pastures.Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing! The community seemed tightly knit, and it wasn’t terribly far from Codwood. And it wasn’t like there weren’t any kids running around.One nice mothlady told me that the two little ones zipping by with a flutter of wings were her great-grandlarvae, currently being taken care of by her daughter who was sticking around.They... weren’t actually larvae, were they?They couldn’t be that close to bugs, right?The twinkle in the old mothlady’s eyes suggested that I’d just been duped. Then she cackled and I found myself giggling too.I was kind of grateful, nonetheless, that I’d ended up a bun, because last I checked, rabbits were mammals too.“Do you think a lot of the younger people will come back?” I asked Lepido. It was a delicate question, but I felt like I should ask.He frowned, then nodded. “I think some of them will. They have children, and they’ll want them to go through the dungeon as well. It’s very limiting if they don’t. And we have some goods that can only be obtained here, and a lot of those youngsters were pushed out of the village by well-meaning parents. When things got lean here, it made sense to push our youth towards a better, safer place.”I nodded along. “That was very brave,” I said.“Maybe,” he replied. “I don’t know, really. In any case, the village will grow again. I’m sure of it. Ah, to be young again, though.”Amaryllis smiled. “If you keep saying things like that, you certainly won’t feel young.”Lepido grinned back. “That’s a fair point. I remember when I was around your age. I used to travel quite a bit around these parts. Never too far from home, but still, I fluttered about, chased the moon and let wanderlust carry me around a little.”“Oh? Have you been to Inkwren?” I asked. “That’s our next stop, probably.”“Inkwren! Yes, a number of times. It’s hardly all that far. Once in a while a fishing ship from Codwood will cross the Blue Lake then take a riverboat to get to Pollock. Then you can walk most of the way down to Inkwren. Big city, lots of folk.”I wondered how big it actually was. Meaning no offence to Mister Lepido (even in my head) I didn’t think he’d seen too many big cities if he never travelled all that far from home. Had he been to the Stormtower, or even to Farseeing in the Harpy Mountains, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from Inkwren.So I asked!“Hmm, well, the city’s one of the independent cities in that area, one of the bigger ones too, from what I gather. It was founded by a group of exiled human scholars, but nearly half the city is made up of harpies,” Lepido said.“I’d heard of that,” Amaryllis said. “The Wren clan lives there. They’re... not part of the Harpy Mountain clans, not in a big way like some other families. The Raven clan has a large compound in the city as well.”Lepido made an affirmative noise. “Yup. Saw plenty of those too. Hard to tell, with the uniforms. Ah, right, the city’s got a few big schools in it.”“The academies,” Amaryllis said. “I’ve heard that some noble families from the Harpy Mountains will send their children there to study. Some merchant families as well. It’s less expensive than the noble academy in the capital and the education is apparently second to none.”Caprica snorted. “I doubt that it’s that good.”“Oh, no, it is good,” Amaryllis replied. “But it’s fiercely competitive. The academies are constantly at each other’s throats and while you won’t get stabbed in the back or poisoned-"You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story."Wait, that can happen?" I asked, incredulous. "At a school?"Amaryllis looked a bit uncomfortable. "Well, it's uncommon-I mean, it hasn't happened in the Harpy Mountains... recently?"I gave her a long stare."As I was saying!" she pushed on, "The Inkwren academies are supposedly less violent, so being from the wrong family or having poor political standing will lead to, at worst, a minor scuffle or maybe a brawl."“Did you have any trouble there?” I asked Lepido.He shook his head. “No, never. I mostly kept to the docks and the small... hrm, I suppose they’re their own villages? There’s a number of small settlements, about the same size as ours here, all around the city. I mostly kept to those. Never had much of a reason to go to Inkwren itself.”“Ah, okay,” I nodded along.“The people I met were quite kind. Though I did encounter one biologist who wanted to poke and prod me, but I rebuffed them.”That was... a little concerning. Nobody would want to do biology of a bun though, right? I looked at my friends and winced. We... were probably all a little bit interesting to someone who was really into biology. Awen was the normalest one here, at least if Inkwren had humans.On the other hand, I was getting pretty excited about travelling to Inkwren. The city sounded neat!“We’ll have some time to explore,” Amaryllis said on seeing my expression. “But not too much. I’d rather arrive at Port Royal early as opposed to late.”“Okay,” I said. “Maybe they have bookstores there? I bet Booksy would love a heap of books as a wedding gift.”“Books are heavy,” Awen said. “But we can carry a few.”Right, that was something I’d have to keep in mind before I bought a whole pallet-load of books. The Beaver could only carry so much weight.The afternoon wore on, the feast turning into a dessert-sampling event as a number of grannies pulled out all their family-recipes and hidden tricks in the form of cupcakes and cookies and even a few pastries.I was going to need to be rolled back to the ship.“Where did they get the flour?” Amaryllis muttered as she picked up a cupcake.“We trade for it in Codwood,” Lepido said. “It’s a little pricey, but the taste is worth it.”“And where do they get it?” Amaryllis asked. “I didn’t see any fields when we flew over the town. A few gardens, sure, and maybe there are some farms on the edges, but not enough to account for lots of flour that’s easily tradable. Besides, I didn’t see a mill.”Lepido smiled. “They get it from the Endless Swells. They are part of the nation, you know.”Amaryllis huffed the huff of someone who decided to give up on the question.I was just starting to worry about the Scallywags when they burst out of the dungeon, all three of them loud and exuberant and bursting with humour.Then I noticed how dishevelled they looked. Oda had a piece of cloth wrapped around an arm which had soaked up a bit of blood, and Sally was walking with a limp.I gave up on the cupcakes and cookies and ran over to them. “Are you okay?” I asked.“We’re fine,” Joe said with a dismissive wave. He had a shield strapped to his back, the same sort that Amaryllis had picked up in our own dungeon run.“We had a couple of close calls,” Sally said. “But we managed to make it though!”I turned towards Mister Puffles as he left the dungeon behind the Scallywags. The older farmer looked a lot tired, but he nodded to me all the same. “Not the quickest run through,” he said. “And not the safest. But we made it out alive.”“The Evil Roots?” Lepido asked as he came over.A lot of ears were listening in, I noticed.“Still there, but not around the core, and the dungeon spent as much time fighting the roots as it did fighting us. It looks like it’s working hard to get rid of them,” Mister Puffles said.I clapped, and there was a cheer from some of the more exuberant listeners. “That’s fantastic!”“It is,” he agreed. “It’ll make keeping the dungeon clean a lot easier if it’s trying to help. Might even be enough to clear the entire infection away.”The mood in the village lifted at the news. The mothfolk who had been cautiously optimistic before let out a sigh of relief, then the chatter picked up and some of the more spry older folk even started to dance.Grinning from ear to ear, I looked at my friends. “We did it!” I congratulated. “Ah, but we should probably think about heading out soon. Did you three manage to take out the boss?” I asked the Scallywags, and got a chorus of "yeses" in return. “Perfect! In that case, I think we’re nearly done here.”There was a small frenzy of activity after that. A lot of folks were insisting that we load up on leftovers, and with the quality of the food on offer, we weren’t about to say no!Mister Lepido, meanwhile, pulled me aside. “I’m not one for big speeches,” he began with a grateful smile. "Thank you for everything you've done for our village," he said. "We will never forget your bravery and kindness. I wish you all the best on your journey to Inkwren and beyond."“Thank you,” I said. “But it’s all in a day’s work, right?”After saying our goodbyes to the villagers and promising to visit again someday, we boarded the Beaver Cleaver. The Scallywags had some bumps and cuts, which wasn't too bad, but I asked them to take a break to heal up faster. The airship's engines roared to life as we lifted off, leaving the village and the dungeon behind.
* * *
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Visitors
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Visitors “You know, we should, by all means, just fly right on past Inkwren,” Amaryllis said conversationally. “We have enough fuel to make it to Walker’s Rest. Maybe Farseeing, if the winds decide to turn in our favour.”I pouted. “Yes, that’s true. But then we wouldn’t get to visit Inkwren.”Amaryllis rolled her eyes at that. We were both out on the poop deck of the Beaver Cleaver, from which we looked down at a lake whose name I didn't know. The winds were blowing against us from the south, so we weren’t making great time. But the destination wasn’t very far, so it didn’t matter too much.I could see Inkwren ahead of us already. It was a sprawling city, chopped up into multiple large districts that were easy to tell apart even from way up here. The city was more or less bean-shaped, with one end close to the shore and the rest stretching out and away, with plenty of fields and a few smaller villages dotting the surroundings.It was probably one of the larger cities I’d ever seen on Dirt, made larger by just how flat and even the ground around it was. There was lots of room to expand into.“We can stay here overnight,” Amaryllis said. She raised a warning talon at me. “Overnight. We won’t be staying for much longer than that, even if we end up running into any sort of adventure.”I grinned. “Okay. We can stay at an inn or something, maybe? And maybe we’ll have a bit of time to play tourist. I do want to buy a few books for Booksie’s wedding gift.”“Hmm, I suppose that’s not a terrible idea,” Amaryllis shrugged. “But let’s avoid any... local politics, shall we? Inkwren should be safe as long as you keep out of Academy politics.”I could agree to that easily enough.The city had three airship-ports around it. Two seemed relatively small, however, so we moved towards the largest of the three which seemed more commercial than the rest.The traffic wasn’t nearly as busy as in the air around Goldenalden or over the Snowlands, but that made sense.The nearest cities to Inkwren were all reachable over land, and this was an academic city, not a trading one. We’d flown too far from New Horizons to see it out to our east, but it was somewhere over there. Then there was Elkensteel to the southwest and Smoulderglen to the south-and-west-but-not-that-much-west. Walker’s Rest, the place Amaryllis had mentioned, was to the southeast, and we were likely going to stop there, too.She’d called it the breadbasket of the Harpy Mountains, which was strange since from my maps, it didn’t look like it was in the mountains at all.Since we were getting closer to the city and would probably need more help getting the Beaver Cleaver into the right spot, I called for all hands on deck, and soon the entire crew were getting the ship ready to land.Clive took the wheel for the more delicate manoeuvres that would set us down, and I grabbed out semaphore flags and got ready to send signals back and forth with the tower in the middle of the airship port.A tiny, distant figure atop a platform directed us forwards and down towards a free dock, and I waved my flags back in a polite thank-you. “Dock fifteen!” I called out across the deck while pointing in the right direction.We had to spin the Beaver Cleaver almost all the way around to enter the dock properly, but we were quick about it and soon enough the Scallywags were tossing out lines for dockworkers to grab, and the ship was carefully lowered onto big pads that rocked a bit as we touched down.The hard part was handled, but that didn’t mean that we were entirely done either. I bounced around, helping everyone secure things in place and working through the shut-down procedures. It looked like the dockmaster wasn’t around yet, so I figured I might as well be helpful.That’s when Awen came up to me, clutching a wooden clipboard. “Ah, can we talk for a moment?” she asked.“Sure, what’s up?” I asked.“Just a list of things I’d like to get while we’re here,” she said before handing the homemade clipboard over. It had a small list of items on it, which I carefully read over.“We need more gas in the balloon?” I asked with a glance up to the Beaver’s balloon.Awen nodded. “We do. Some will always leak out. Gaskets aren’t perfect, and the wind and stress squishes the balloon a little. I also need some oils and lubricants for the engine. The last fuel we used wasn’t great. I don’t think I have time to drain the entire engine, but we should at least buy better fuel here if we want to keep the engine in good condition. Um, I want to look at the gravity engine too, now that we’re settled. I can’t really maintain it completely when we’re airborne.”I nodded along. That made perfect sense. “You want us to check the rigging too?” I asked. “Didn’t we get that replaced recently?”“Yes, but I’m noticing a little bit of use on some lines. I don’t think it’s anything too concerning, but we should look at it anyway.”I couldn’t argue with that. “And the propeller?” I asked, pointing to the last item on her list.“I just want to inspect it. I might need to be lowered off the side of the ship for that. I can make a seat for it. Like a swing. I’ll need someone to work the winch while I do that.”“I’m sure we can find someone to help you. Maybe Steve or Gordon, they both know a fair bit about ship maintenance too.” Then I wrapped Awen in a quick, tight hug. “Thanks Awen.”Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.“Ah, just doing my job,” she said with a bit of a squeak.“Yeah, but you’re taking it very seriously. You didn’t need to. We didn’t become friends just so that we could have a mechanic. But I appreciate it-appreciate you-anyway. You’re keeping our home in tip-top shape!”Awen flushed. “Just get me the things I need, please,” she said, her voice turning to a whisper near the end.I gave her a last squeeze before breaking off the hug. “I’ll do what I can! I bet we can find most of it near the port too.”Awen nodded. “That would make sense.”The port had a few large hangars around it, some large enough that they might be able to fit even a ship as wide as the Beaver Cleaver if its balloon was removed. The port didn’t seem overly busy otherwise, however. There were twelve docks, and only a quarter of them had ships berthed at them at the moment.Amaryllis got to the port authority people before I did and started negotiating with them right away. She seemed to have things well in hand for the moment, so I went around and quizzed the rest of the crew about what they wanted to do.If we were going to stay in the city overnight, then we’d need to keep a team on the ship while the others got to explore, and then we could switch things around. It was still early in the afternoon though, and I wasn’t in a hurry to leave just yet, so I decided that I’d stay on until later. It would be nice to go shopping in the city in the early morning anyway. Maybe we could grab breakfast too?The Scallywags were eager to head out in any case, bolstered by their recent success in the Golden Light Dungeon, so once we had a gangplank running from the Beaver to the docks, we let them loose on the city. Gordon volunteered to keep an eye on them, just in case.Even Clive wanted a bit of shore leave. “Running out of herbs for my pipe,” he said as he walked over to the edge of the ship. “I’ll be back before dark, no worries. not my first trip out to an unfamiliar city.”I waved him off, then rocked on the balls of my feet for a moment as I realized that I didn’t really have anything to do at the moment. That was... kind of annoying, actually. We had plenty of long moments of downtime as we travelled, but here I was in a whole new city, and it felt wrong to be bored.So I started cleaning the Beaver up. Mostly that meant walking along the deck and letting my Cleaning aura scrub away at any marks left on the deck and any little oil spills or bird droppings left on the hull. By the time I’d done a quick circuit of both decks, the Beaver looked properly neat. All that was left was tidying up some of the tools and ropes that we’d left out. I recoiled some of the ropes and stored our things back in their places.Now we were neat and tidy. I nodded to myself, proud of how good the Beaver was looking.I was just finishing up when I noticed a small group climbing the ramps of the dock. We were the only ship on this end of the docks, so unless they were very lost, they were definitely heading this way.“Amaryllis, we might have guests,” I called out.Amaryllis perked up, then nodded. “I’ll get my gear,” she said.I blew a big breath out. I’d meant to tell her more so that we could get ready to receive some friends, not for a fight.Still, soon enough Caprica and Calamity were on the deck too, and I couldn’t help but notice that they were both armed as well.Awen came up soon too, though she lingered by the hatch hiding her deployable turret.“We don’t even know who they are,” I complained.Caprica shook her head. “It’s only wise to be prepared for trouble,” she said.The group was made up of three people, all wearing long black robes which probably looked serious and dignified most of the time, but our visitors had to hike them up to clamber up the ramp, to say nothing of the blustery wind.“Those look like school robes,” Amaryllis said. “They might be from one of the academies.”“Not government, then,” Caprica said, her shoulders relaxing a little.“Might as well be,” Amaryllis said. “The only advantage we might have with them compared to a government official is that the academies are all competing with each other, so if you gain the ire of one, you might have inadvertently made friends with the others.”I moved to the edge of the gangplank, then made sure my clothes were all sitting right and that my ears were properly straight, even my left one which liked bending in the middle when I wasn’t paying attention to it. I put on a welcoming smile when they finally reached the deck. I was about to say hi, but then all three of them stopped, hands going to knees and breath coming in laboured gasps.“Hi,” I said a moment later. “Do you want some water? Or a seat? We have benches.”One of them raised a hand in a ‘one moment’ gesture, reached over to his shoulder, grabbed something small and dark, then placed it on the ground.A moment later, that dark little thing... that person scurried over to the edge of the dock.They were about half a foot tall, with an angular little face on which a pair of glasses hung and two large ears. “Greetings,” they squeaked mousily. “We are here to inspect your vessel for contraband on behalf of Pedlington Academy. Please do not interfere with our official investigation!”
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Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Nine — The Little Cheese of Airship Inspections
Chapter Three Hundred and Ninety-Nine — The Little Cheese of Airship Inspections “Wow!” I said. “I’ve never met someone like you before.”The little person from Pedlington Academy glared up at me and put his hands on his hips. “I can tell you’re not local,” he snapped.“Is it because I don’t recognize you?” I asked. I realised that I might have been a little insensitive. “I’m sorry. Let’s start over. I’m Captain Broccoli Bunch of the Beaver Cleaver. That’s this airship right here. You said you were from Pedlington Academy?”The others from the academy were mostly done catching their breath by then, though I noticed a few red faces still. They were two boys and a girl, and all three were humans, maybe a couple of years older than me and most of my friends.The little mouse-person puffed out his chest. “I’m assistant-adjunct professor Cornelius,” he squeaked. “And I’ve been sent here to inspect your vessel for contraband. I’ll have you know that judging someone like me based on height alone is the height of insult.”“Oh, I didn’t mean to insult you,” I said. “Would it help if I was closer to your size?”He blinked. “Are you mocking me?” he asked."No, no I just want you to be comfortable!" I grinned. "Watch this, it's neat!"I stepped closer, crossing from my ship and onto the dock, then distorted my proportions mid-stride, aiming to be as small as I could. The rough wood surface of the dock rushed up into my field of vision as the world towered up around me, the three humans taking an uncertain step back.That still wasn’t quite as small as Mister Cornelius. He was about as tall as my (normal) handspan was long, and at my shortest I was still about as tall as my knee (again, my normal size’s knee) so I was still almost three times his height.Cornelius still had to look up to meet my eyes, but not nearly as much as before. I grinned, then grabbed the floppy ear blocking half my sight with both hands and flung it aside.I almost toppled off the edge of the dock with the momentum.One day, I’d figure out how to make my ears and tail change size when the rest of me did. As it was, my tail was making my skirt ride up in the back in a way that was downright improper, but fortunately all the academy people were in front of me. “How’s this, then?” I asked, my voice a bunch squeakier than usual.Cornelius blinked a few times, then adjusted his glasses. “I will admit that I am intrigued,” he said.“What’s intriguing you?” I asked.“How did you become... smaller?” he asked.“Oh, it’s a skill,” I said.“Yes, I’d gathered that much,” he said. “What a bizarre skill.”“It can make me bigger too!” I said. “Ah, but it doesn’t last forever. I’m only gonna be small for a couple more minutes. It’s hard on my mana.”“Interesting, interesting. Would you like to come to the academy? I can think of a few professors that would like to study the skill. You’d receive a stipend and room and board for a week or more!”I blinked. “Um. No thanks. I think I’m independently wealthy?” I glanced back to Amaryllis, who shrugged and made a ‘so-so’ gesture. “And I have a place to live already. Besides, we’re only going to be here for a little bit. We’re planning on taking off tomorrow at the latest.”“Ah, right. I suppose that’s fair. In any case.” He cleared his throat and pulled out an itsy-bitsy clipboard from a satchel hanging by his waist. “We’re here to inspect your ship for outgoing contraband.”“Outgoing?” Amaryllis asked. “Not incoming?”“We don’t care what you bring here,” he said. “We only care for items you might be smuggling out of the city.”“But we just arrived,” I said. “When would we have time to get things to smuggle out?”“You might have contacts within the longshoreman’s union,” he said.Well, that was technically possible, I supposed. “Are you going to want to inspect the ship again when we’re about to leave?” I asked.Cornelius adjusted his little spectacles. “We might.”“Do you have the authority to do that?” Caprica asked. “It seems to me that it would be the city itself, or the local government, who would be put in charge of contraband inspections. Not... no offence, but not school enforcers.”“We are from a prestigious Academy. Not a school,” Cornileus said, sounding rather snooty for someone who could fit in the palm of my (normal) hand. “We have the authority of the Academy.”I turned around, then shoved my ears out of the way again to stare at both Amaryllis and Caprica. They were the more legalwise of my friends. Caprica was the one to answer. “I don’t know enough about Inkwren’s legal system to comment with any surety. But from what I understood, there are multiple schools in competition with each other here. I doubt any of them would allow another so much legal power even if that would mean giving themselves that much more power.”“I don’t know much either, but I’ll admit that his demands are rather suspect,” Amaryllis said. “Did you bring any proof?” The last was aimed at Cornelius himself.The mousy man harrumphed very mightily, but not all that scarily. “I come with the authority granted to me by the good name of the Pedlington Academy,” he said.“Unless he has official papers of some sort giving him more than just an Academy’s authority, I say we don’t let him or his friends onboard,” Amaryllis said.“Do you think you could stop us?” Cornelius asked.There was a sudden spark of tension in the air.Caprica’s hand strayed to the hilt of her sword, Calamity casually plucked an arrow from his hip-quiver, Amaryllis flicked her daggerwand around and started to casually clean her talon with it.Then the top of the Beaver’s deck burst open and Awen’s pedal-action, multi-crossbow turret unfolded itself from the ship’s interior and slewed towards the Academy people.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“Ah, guys, let’s not get all threatening, please?” I said.I glanced to Cornelius and used my Insight skill on him.A level 10 Academy Administrator, very nervous.The others behind him were all around that same level. One of them was past level ten, but not by very much, and his class was Scholar of History which... well, it didn’t sound like a really obvious combat class. Unless he studied ancient combat arts or something? That could be strong.Still, the way the academy people backed up suggested they were properly intimidated.I popped up to my full height, then wobbled for a moment as I regained my balance-it was tricky going from very small to normal-sized! “Alright, alright, enough of that,” I said. “Mister Cornelius, ah, maybe a slightly more friendly approach next time? Guys, these aren’t pirates, or bad guys, or monsters, just some nice students and such.”“Hmph,” Calamity said. He flipped the arrow around and started to pick at his teeth with the head.“Yes, I can see that we made a minor miscalculation,” Cornelius said.“That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends,” I said.Cornelius CheddarDream: To be tenured.Desired Quality: Someone who’ll help him climb the scholarly ladder.Well, he didn’t seem like that bad of a guy at all. Just a teacher of sorts that was out of his depth.“I have a more pertinent question,” Amaryllis said. “What kind of contraband are you looking for in any case? What’s so precious that the Academies don’t want it leaving the city?”“Why, books, of course,” he said.“Books?” I asked.“Library books!” Cornilius waved his clipboard in my direction, but it was too small and moving too quickly for me to read. It looked like a list though. A list of books? “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to track down an overdue book once it’s outside of the city’s limits? It’s impossible!”“Uh, I see,” I said.“No offence, captain, but I truly doubt it,” he said. “We have been on the case for some books for years. Not even the most stringent regulations will stop some ne'er do wells from sneaking their way out of the city with a book.”“Wow,” I said. “That’s some dedication. Is your library the biggest in the city?”He turned his face away and mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘certain collections of ours are the largest’. “In any case,” he said after clearing his throat with a squeaky cough. “We aren’t just looking for books from our academy. If we find books from one of the others then we will return them to their proper place. Of course.”“Just like that?” Amaryllis asked.“During the monthly book-hostage exchange, yes,” he said.That sounded a lot more serious than anything book-related I’d ever seen. The most complicated book-thing I’d participated in was a bookfair, and that was mostly me walking around looking at all the nice erasers and stuff I couldn’t afford.“Well... maybe we can let them look around? I don’t think we’ll have any books that are theirs,” I said.“I’m voting no,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t need strangers rummaging through my stuff.”“Are we putting this up to a vote?” Caprica asked. “If so, I suppose I don’t mind. As long as they are supervised and we can inspect them before they leave. Trust but verify.”“I don’t care either way,” Calamity said. “But I’m leaning towards no.”“I’d really rather not have strangers poking around the engine room,” Awen said, her voice muffled by the glass ball of her turret.I counted on my fingers, which was easy since there was only five of us. “That’s three ‘no’ and two ‘yes,’ I guess that means that we’re not going to let you inspect the Beaver today. Sorry. Maybe try again when we’re about to leave? It’s not like we’ve had time to grab any books to steal since we landed, anyway.”“Not steal, merely... have overdue,” Cornelius said. “Or bring out of the boundaries of the city. There are clear rules, and a test for anyone that wants access to a library permit.”Wow, this place took their books really seriously. “Oh!” I said with a quick clap of my hands. “Maybe you can help us, actually. We were thinking of visiting the city once the rest of the crew comes back from their leave. We’re going to go shopping for a wedding gift.”“A wedding gift? Have you considered paying for the bride or groom’s tuition?”“Um, I was thinking of a really nice book. The groom is a bit... size-challenged, and the bride owns a bookshop, so I think they’d both appreciate something special.”Cornelius rubbed at his chin. “Pecorina’s your best bet. She’s an academy-neutral bookseller in the city centre. It’s a small shop, but she has a lot of specialty goods. Pecorina’s... fiercely independent, but seeing as you’re not Academy recruiters, you might have a better chance with her than I do.”“Oh, that's kind of you, thanks,” I said. I looked at Cornelius, then at the three students behind him. “Will you need help getting to the ground? We have a winch.”Cornelius crossed his arms. “We’ll be fine walking. Thank you very much,” he said.I pretended not to notice the slumping of shoulders behind him.“Well, in that case, have a safe trip back! Did you want some water before you go?”“We’ll be fine. Thank you,” Cornelius said. He narrowed his eyes at us one final time, then scurried back to one of the students who dutifully scooped him up.“Bye-bye!” I said with a friendly goodbye wave.“That mouse is gonna be trouble,” Amaryllis said.“I’ll say,” Caprica said. Then to my shock, she reached down between her legs and pulled up Orange. She’d been squishing the spirit cat between her calves the whole time? “I hope there aren’t too many mousefolk in town who want to visit the Beaver because I won’t be here to catch this lady every time.”
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Chapter Four Hundred — Inn to the City
Chapter Four Hundred — Inn to the City The scallywags returned a few hours before sunset, slightly tipsy, smiling a lot, and with some new clothes on which made them look quite... unique. They were wearing navy blue slacks and ruffle-chested poet shirts along with small coats that stopped at about mid waist.“You three are looking good,” I said as I watched them stumble onto the ship.“Ah,” Oda said. “We spent some of our money.” He looked a little sheepish at the admission.Joe wasn’t so reserved. “What do you think, captain? Do we look good, or what?” He flexed his arms and half-turned so that I could see his silhouette better. “Bet all the girls on the shore are going to swoon when they see us.”“You wish,” Sally said.“I think you look very handsome,” I said, and Joe deflated.“When you say it like that it doesn’t make me feel nearly as cool, captain.”I blinked and wondered what he meant by that.“You’re back,” Caprica said as she came up next to me. “And in new outfits. I like them. A little... loose, compared to a good dress uniform, but you look fashionable, and having the crew in a similar uniform is always a good idea.”Joe grinned, preening a bit at the attention.“We got them all the same because they were cheaper this way,” Sally said. “They’re technically school uniforms from one of the academies, but in different colours. The tailor who made them was upset that they weren’t selling, so we got them for very little.”“Don’t go ruining the mystique of it, Sal,” Joe complained.“The only mystique here is how the tailor managed to fit anything over your ego,” Sally snapped back.And then Oda joined in and the three wandered off, firing friendly barbs at each other and the occasional shove which turned to laughter.I glanced at Caprica who shrugged. “At least they enjoyed themselves,” she said.“I guess so,” I said. “Should we be going too? We were going to stay at an inn, right?”She nodded. “I’ll go get my things and tell the others.”“Things?” I asked.“I’m hardly going to be sleeping in my day clothes while at an inn,” Caprica said.That was probably fair. “I guess I can pack up some PJs too,” I said before following Caprica down to our rooms on the deck below. It didn’t take long for us to inform the others as well. Calamity scoffed at the idea of wearing pajamass but the others got their things all packed up, and soon we were on the top deck and ready to go, all of us with an extra backpack, except for Caprica.“You know,” Amaryllis said as she looked at all the bags Caprica had packed. “I’d taken you for more of a... soldier-type in that you’d only bring the bare necessities with you.”Caprica sniffed in a princessly manner. “Don’t be foolish. A proper soldier is ready for anything, which means you have anything you might need with you.”“Is the proper soldier ready to carry her own bags?” Amaryllis asked.Caprica looked at the pile she’d pulled out of her room. “Maybe I’ll just bring the bare essentials after all.”With everyone ready, we hopped across the gangplank and then down the docks to the ground. Awen ended up having us pause a few times as she got caught up looking at the mechanisms for holding ships in place; big metal arms with pads on their ends, placed on unscrewing mounts with could be moved with some pulleys from near the ground to accommodate any size and type of airship.I ended up wrapping an arm around her shoulders to help lead her away. She could poke around later if she really wanted, but right now we were heading out to have fun!“So, the first stop is that bookshop?” I asked.“That sounds fair,” Amaryllis said. “It should be in the centre of the city, I think, which is also probably where we’ll find most of the neutral inns.”“Maybe we ought to get an inn room first then,” Calamity said. “Have a place to drop off our things.”That seemed perfectly acceptable to me. Well, anything would have been, really. I was just happy to be out spending time with my friends in a new place. I was looking forward to seeing what Inkwren was like from up close.We left the docks and entered a more residential area. The homes here were two or three stories tall and very much squished together. It looked like they were mostly condos, actually, made of a reddish-brown brick with arches over the doorways. Very smart, sensible homes, but I found that they lacked a bit of individuality. They were right up against the sidewalk, so there was no room for any lawns or anything.The city of Inkwren was impressively packed near its centre.On the next intersection, we came up to a signpost that wasn’t just labelled with the names of the streets, but also with decorated signs that pointed towards four different academies. All four of those signs were covered in graffiti, but it was clearly graffiti laid on by different brushes and with different paints.“Wow, the competition here is... steep,” I said.“A bit uncivilised,” Amaryllis said.“Reminds me of hockey fans,” I said.We weren’t sure where the markets and inns were, so I politely flagged down a gentleman walking by and asked him for some directions.He ended up pointing us down the road, then gave us the sorts of directions that I’d expect from a local. “Take a left there, then once you’re at Ormic’s place, you’ll take a right. Keep on going until you’re at the place where Box’s Bakery used to be, and pass through the alley next to that and onto the next block over, then it’s a left and you keep going until you cross the mayor’s bridge.”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“Uh, thank you!” I said with a little bow. He nodded and went on his way, and once he was far enough away, I turned to my friends. “Did you understand any of that?”“I think, a little,” Awen said. “We can always find someone else once we’re closer to the centre.”That seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea, so we continued on, following the first of his directions until we got a little lost again. At least the airship docks weren’t going to be too hard to find since the dock’s traffic tower stood far taller than all of the other homes in the area.Worst case, we could bounce up to a rooftop and find our way back that way.In the meantime, I found a nice lady who pointed us towards the inns, this time with an entirely different set of directions that were just as confusing, but judging by how they were shorter, we were getting closer!The homes around us changed to more warehouses and a few small general stores, and we crossed by a school for children which I was surprised to see wasn’t part of one of the academies.Finally, however, after a good half hour of walking, we made it to the market quarter. There were several inns on this stretch of the city, and my friends immediately aimed for the nicest, most fancy looking of the lot.“You know, if we’re just going to stay at the inn for fun, it doesn’t need to be the most expensive one,” I said.“We’re hardly lacking in money, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said.“Besides, we want quality,” Caprica said. “And that comes at a price.”Calamity shrugged. “I just want free food.”I looked to Awen, my last hope for an ally, but she just shrugged in a sort of ‘what can you do’ gesture, and I decided to mostly drop the subject. “Okay, but I really don’t see why we couldn’t go somewhere nice but not too expensive and save a bit of money that we could spend on more fun stuff.”“Come on, being waited on talon and claw is fun,” Amaryllis said.“It is sorta nice,” Awen admitted.Rolling my eyes, I followed my friends into the most elaborately decorated and stately of the inns on the main street, past several brick pillars and up a grand exterior staircase to a door where a tiny mousey doorman welcomed us before pulling on a lever that opened the main door for us.The inside was just as lavish. This was less an inn, I realized, as it was a fancy hotel of some sort. The kind of place that I felt out of place in.There was a small restaurant off to the right, and what looked like a museum of sorts to the left, with some showpieces behind glass on full display with plaques and all. Tables and chairs were spread across the lobby, some of which were occupied by guests chatting, and at the end was a long counter that cut off the front of the room from the space with the hotel workers.It looked like a nice place, at least, though I couldn’t help but feel like I was a bit underdressed. I ‘eeped’ and stepped aside as a mouse person in a suit with a little mouse secretary ambled by, cigar smoke trailing above him.“Decent enough,” Caprica said. “There’s even some harpy nobility here, Amaryllis.” She gestured to a small group off to the side.Amaryllis glanced that way, then back to the counter, then her head whipped around and I saw her put a hand on her dagger wand on reflex.My ears twitched up and I looked that way too, only for my breath to catch.There were three harpy talking, two of them looked a bit like servants, but the third was definitely a noble. He was wearing a suit with trailing tails behind it, all clearly tailored and made of some very fine-looking materials.The problem wasn’t the noble, it was that I knew him. “Francisco?” I whispered.“Oh no,” Awen said.Amaryllis’ eyes narrowed then she shook her head. “No. No, that’s not him.”At her voice, the non-Francisco harpy turned, and I saw that she was right. He was a bit taller, with a more pronounced jawline and much softer eyes. Maybe he was a year or two older as well, though it was hard to guess. His gaze flittered over our group, then locked onto Amaryllis. “Amy?”Amaryllis let out a sigh and let go of her daggerwand. I idly noticed Calamity slinging his bow back over his back. “Hello, Valerian,” she said.The harpy gestured to his companions, then walked over, wings spreading wide. “I haven’t seen you in ages!” he said. “Not since just before Francisco learned of the engagement. I heard you put that off. Bet he’s upset! Haha!” He grabbed her in a massive bearhug.I had been hugging Amaryllis daily for a while now, so I was pretty sure her hug tolerance was at an all-time high for her, but it still looked like she didn’t find this hug particularly pleasant. “Yes, he took it about as well as you might expect,” she said. “What are you doing here? Last I saw you, you were in Farseeing.”“Ah, I left the capital and ventured all the way here on a quest!” he said as he twirled away. His cheeks were a bit flushed as he brought his talons in over his chest. “A quest for love!”This... was not what I was expecting from Francisco’s brother.“But what are you doing here? Aiming to attend one of the Academies?”“No, nothing like that. We’re stopping by Inkwren to refuel. We’re on our way south. Back home, in fact,” Amaryllis said. It was even somewhat sorta true. She leaned to her side, pitching her voice low so that only my friends and I could hear. “Alright, maybe you were right, the discount inn might have been a better idea after all.”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and One — Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Chapter Four Hundred and One — Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Valerian led us to his rooms on the top floor of the hotel, which meant taking turns piling into a teensy-tiny elevator where another mouse-person threw a lever to bring us up. We did it in batches, waiting for everyone to gather in the lushly carpeted corridor above.“Have you been here for long?” Amaryllis asked.The noblebird made a so-so gesture with one wing. “About nine months now, maybe? A little longer? One full school year at the Academies here, basically.”“Oh, you’re a student?” I asked.Valerian shook his head. “Oh, no. I’ve picked up a few tutors for some side-lessons, because if you’re in Inkwren you might as well. There are so many teachers and students who wish they were teachers here. Pick any subject and you can learn a lot about it.”“Is learning from a teacher better than practising something on your own?” I asked.“It is,” Caprica confirmed. “Teachers will usually have skills that cause their students to pick up new skills and additional experience faster. They’re mostly small buffs, but they’re invaluable if you want to learn something quickly. I had a number of fantastic tutors back home that helped me with things that I would never want to use a precious skill slot on.”“Indeed,” Valerian said. “If you’re staying in Inkwren for a while, then maybe I could suggest a few? The prices are extremely competitive, and there’s someone for almost any skill.”I couldn’t think of any specific skill I wanted to upgrade... unless I could learn a chivalry skill? That would be handy! I wanted that Dork Knight skill to get rid of Adorable once and for all!One of Valerian’s servants opened the door to his rooms and we filed in, discovering a large living space with a few sofas around a low table and a number of bookshelves on the wall around an unlit fireplace.“Make yourselves comfortable,” he said. “My manservant shall be making some tea for anyone that wants it. Perhaps some little cakes as well? Amaryllis, does one of your servants want to join mine?”Amaryllis blinked, then carefully scanned our group. “Ah, we skipped introductions, didn’t we?” she asked.“Oh, I’m afraid we did,” Valerian said. I had the impression he’d realized he made a small mistake and was ready to apologise for it.Compared to his brother Franscico, Valerian was very polite. He hadn’t challenged us to a single duel yet, and hadn’t insulted anyone, their race, or their parentage! It was probably not very nice of me to expect anyone to be as mean as their mean sibling, however.“This is Calamity, he’s an expert hunter and marksman,” Amaryllis said as she started her introductions. “That’s Captain Broccoli Bunch of the airship the Beaver Cleaver. It’s the vessel that we’ve been travelling around on for some time.”“Hi!” I said.He nodded in my direction and smiled a little. “Pleasure,” he said.“This is Lady Awen Bristlecone, of Mattergrove,” Amaryllis said, and Valerian stood a little taller as he took Awen’s hand and bowed over it.“Ah, a pleasure, Lady Bristlecone,” he said.Awen shifted her feet just-so and did a little curtsy, tugging up the side of her coat instead of a skirt in what was clearly a practised gesture.“And finally, this is Caprica Sylph, princess of Sylphfree,” Amaryllis said.I don’t think anyone but Amaryllis' closest friends would have noticed the sheer joy she had in presenting Caprica. She did it so casually!“Greetings,” Caprica said. She didn’t bow or curtsy or anything.Valerian, on the other hand, swept down into an elaborate bow, and I noticed a bit of a blush touching his cheeks. “Princess! This is an honour, truly. I never expected to meet one of Sylphfree’s own royalty here.”“I’m on a trip, currently,” Caprica said. “Visiting a few interesting places.”“Well, I certainly hope you find my accommodations interesting enough,” he said. “Do you need anything? I’ve been reliably told that the sylph have a particularly sweet tooth.”Caprica shook her head in a polite denial, but I noticed the way her wings fluttered a bit. Was she just being polite? “Something sweet would be nice,” I said, and she shot me a grateful look.“Certainly!” Valerian said.Soon all of us were gathered at the sofa, drinking tea, and sampling from a small platter of choice pastries with lots of icing and little nuts.“So, if you’re not here just to further your education, what are you doing in Inkwren?” Amaryllis asked. “Nine months is too long to be here just to buy local goods.”“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Valerian said. “Inkwren has, of course, the best ink in the world. It comes from that lake to the north of here, the Blue Lake. They grind the scales of some rare fish and extract their oil as a dye, and they mix that with locally grown flax to make a smooth, quick-drying ink that really stands out. They also have the best bookbinders. A custom job can take months, however. But... no, I’m not here for that, nor for an education.”“Then what are you here for?” Amaryllis asked.“This is somewhat embarrassing,” he said. “But I’m here... for love.” The harpy sighed and leaned back into his sofa.Judging by the looks that passed on the faces of his serving staff, they’d seen this bit before.“Who’s the lucky lady?” Calamity asked.“Oh, I’m afraid my love’s not a lady,” Valerian said.Calamity blinked. “Who’s the lucky guy?”“P-pardon? No, I meant, she’s not of noble birth.” Valerian pressed a talon to his chest. “My brother has said that I’m bringing ill-repute onto the Hawk name, but I don’t care! My heart has never felt such warmth before. Her name rolls off my tongue like sweet dew. Cottage.”“Her name is Cottage?” I asked, and he nodded. “Does, uh, she know that you feel this way?”“Of course!” he said. “Though her family also disavows our relationship. We have been secreting letters to each other for some time now, but the distance made it hard. Hence, my stay here, in Inkwren itself. It has made things easier, though the nearness makes my heart ache so much more.”Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“You’re... very infatuated,” Caprica said. “Is she a student here, then?”“At the Mitytea Academy, yes,” he said. “She’s getting an education in art history, cookery, and politics.”I tried to see what those three subjects had to do with each other, and couldn’t quite see the link, but maybe Cottage was just very passionate about diverse things. “How did you meet?” I asked.“Oh, she came with a group of first years from Mitytea and visited the capital. I ran into her at a museum there, and we spoke for some time. Our first meeting was a disaster. I had so many prejudices that made us clash. But she still agreed to continue our argument over brunch the next day. Then the next... and then we started trading letters even if I had to hide them from my family. They would never approve, you see.”“Because she’s not noble-born?” I asked.“Hmm? Oh no, because she disagrees about the greatness of harpy art. She thinks that our modern art movement is tripe and foolhardy and lacks artistic integrity.”“Oh,” I said.“Well, that and she’s not a harpy. That’s also somewhat of an issue, but even if she’s not noble-born, her family are decently well-regarded merchants and artists, and so that kind of consideration shouldn’t matter.”“Well, I hope things go well for you,” Amaryllis said.“Thank you,” Valerian replied. “But please, you must have travelled at least from the capital to get here, do you carry any good gossip?”Amaryllis revealed that no, we didn’t come from the Harpy Mountains, that instead we came from the north, in the Snowlands, and before that we were in the Trenton Flats, and before that we were in Sylphfree, and before that we were down by the Grey Wall, and before that we were in Deepmarsh, and it was only before that that we had originated in the Harpy Mountains. As it turned out, Valerian’s own news from home was a lot more recent than our own.I wasn’t able to keep up with all of the political talk, so I sipped at my tea and listened to the back and forth between Valerian, Amaryllis and Caprica, exchanging the occasional look with Calamity and Awen who were also a bit excluded.“That’ll have repercussions on the economy,” Amaryllis said after Valerian mentioned something about a large pacifist group rising among the younger nobility. “It might hit my family as well. Fewer warships being produced will impact all the shipyards. We’ll have to return to trying to corner the civilian market.”“Private warships might not be a bad idea,” Valerian said. “I’ve heard plenty of stories about pirates roving along the west and eastern sides of the mountains. Usually we only need to worry about them to the east, but they’ve been growing bold as of late.”“That’s concerning,” Amaryllis said. “Where are they coming from?”“I suspect they were always around. But with worry over war with Sylphfree rising, most of the airforce’s ships were moved northwards and to the east.”Amaryllis nodded. “Which means far fewer ships on patrol down here. That’ll make trade with Mattergrove and the Independent Cities far more risky.”The political talk continued for a little bit longer, but then I noticed Valerian looking over our group. “Hmm. Most of you are young ladies,” he said.“What am I, a steak?” Calamity muttered.“Did you just notice?” Amaryllis asked, a bit sardonic. She’d mostly been polite so far, actually. It seemed that she got along much better with Valerian than with his brother, at least.Valerian chuckled. “No. I just had an idea, but it’s a little... oh, nevermind.”“You can’t leave it off at that,” I said. “Now I’m curious.”Valerian shuffled on his seat. “This is too much to ask,” he said. “But... you are all adventurers, of sorts?”“We’re explorers,” Amaryllis rebutted. “We venture where few have gone and further the world’s knowledge. We don’t run around looking for trouble.”I decided not to speak up at that, because I was pretty sure running around and looking for trouble was sort of something we did a lot of. Or maybe we just ran around a lot and trouble tended to find us?“Ah, I see, I see,” Valerian said. “Well... perhaps the intrepid captain would be interested in some low-risk work?”My ears perked up. “What sort?” I asked.“I’m looking for someone to bring my dear Cottage a letter. But my servants have been barred entry into the Academy, and at the moment, only a student may enter.”“That’s inconvenient,” I said.“Isn’t it! Fortunately, I have been plotting a way around this. Cottage can leave the school at times to send me her own letters, though her parents have been interfering. She does have friends who can assist her, but now I find myself unable to reply.”I nodded along. That did seem like it wasn’t great.“But if you could just sneak into the Academy and deliver my letter for me...” he said, hopeful.“That sounds exceptionally dangerous and ill-thought out,” Amaryllis noted blandly.“I have ways of mitigating the risk!” Valerian said. “I have a full wardrobe of Mitytea Academy girl’s uniforms.”“Specifically girl’s uniforms?” Calamity asked. “Why?”“It’s an all-girls academy,” Valerian said.“And you have several of these uniforms?” Amaryllis asked.Valerian flushed. “I was going to try to sneak into the school myself, but I was caught.”I stared at him. Valerian was a tall, wide-shouldered and somewhat muscular harpy, with dark brown and black plumaage. He didn’t look girlish at all.“You tried to sneak into an all-girl’s academy while dressed in their uniform,” Amaryllis repeated, as if to be sure.“It was quite humiliating,” he assured us. “But you... ah, I think you could make it! The guards barely look at the students entering the academy, and I know exactly where Cottage’s dormitory is and where she spends her free time. She mentioned both in some of her letters. If you can deliver my letter, and perhaps a small package, I could make it worth your time! I promise!”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Two — Sailor-Suited Soldiers of Love and Justice!
Chapter Four Hundred and Two — Sailor-Suited Soldiers of Love and Justice! “Okay,” I said. “We all agree that this is probably not a very good idea.”There were nods all around.“But we’re all going to do it anyway because this is fun and because these school uniforms are really cute?”Amaryllis sighed, but she sighed while looking really cute, so it kind of defeated the entire point of it.Valerian had enough Mitytea uniforms for everyone, and since the uniforms were designed to accommodate all sorts of students of all sorts of sizes, they included a small but potent resizing enchantment. At least, that’s what my Insight skill suggested.So right now, all of my friends and I (even including Calamity) were decked out like first year academy students. That meant that at the moment we were all wearing white jackets with little golden brass buttons with pale blue epaulettes and a poofy pink ascot.The uniform looked very naval, and that’s because it kind of was. Mitytea Academy had been founded, in part, by some humans who’d originally come from the Kingdom of Endless Swells, where they had a deep and long-standing naval tradition which carried into their way of dress.The uniform was basically a low-ranking officer’s uniform repurposed for the Academy.Well, repurposed and modified, because I was very certain that naval officers didn’t wear pleated skirts while onboard a ship, or knee-high socks.“I feel like I should be wearing pantyhose,” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. “This uniform shows off a lot of leg.”“Ah, it’s okay,” Awen said. “You have, um, nice legs?”I grinned at her reflection. “Thanks!” It must have been all the jumping and bouncing around. It made for good strong leg muscles.Amaryllis huffed a rather disappointed sort of huff and I glanced over to her. She didn’t have the socks, of course, because that would look strange with her rather birdy legs. “There is no way the academy doesn’t know what they’re doing with these uniforms,” she said. “I bet this is just another strange tactic to get the school into a better position.”“Yeah, I’m sure,” Calamity grumbled.He was standing in the corner of the wardrobe room (Valerian had an entire room just for his clothes — and it was not a small room) with his arms crossed and a rather serious pout on.“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked. “You don’t look super comfortable.”The problem was, of course, that Milytea was an all-girl’s academy. Though I wasn’t going to tell Calamity that he looked very nice in a skirt and dress top, even if the top in question was currently stuffed with a balled-up shirt to give him a bit more of a feminine appearance.“I don’t mind,” Calamity mumbled. “Better than being stuck here with the harpy noble. Don’t know how long I’d be able to hear him go on about the love of his life before I started to feel sick of it.”“He is very... passionate,” I said.“Will you even be able to pass yourself off as a woman at all?” Amaryllis asked.Calamity glared at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He grabbed the sides of his skirt and wiggled them about. “I’m wearing the uniform, aren’t I?”“I think what Amaryllis is trying to say,” Caprica butted in. “Is that looking feminine is about more than just wearing a skirt. It’s about how you walk and stand and act. You’re a little... masculine, Calamity.”Calamity just stared at Caprica while I stifled a giggle. Then he started to walk across the room and back, swaying his hips a bit with every step and affecting a very girly walk. When he stopped, his knees were a bit together and his shoulders had shifted inwards in a way that was just... very girly. “Is this good?” he asked, his voice pitched entirely differently than usual.“That... works,” Amaryllis said. “Or it would if you weren’t wearing that moustache.”Calamity’s cheeks puffed out. “Now ny’all want me to remove my moustache too?” he asked. “This is emasculating.”“You’re the one that wants to go to an all girls school,” Amaryllis snapped back.Calamity ripped his dwarven-made prosthetic moustache off and stuffed it away. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll remember this though, birdbrain.”With that particular issue solved and all of us dressed to the nines, we slipped out of the changing room to find Valerian pacing just outside. “Ah, you’re ready,” he said.“Yup,” I said.“You are aware that regardless of whether this plan works out, you’ll owe us one, right?” Amaryllis asked.“Yes, of course,” Valerian said. “I can’t imagine this being any danger, however. The academies are very safe unless they decide to have a go at each other.”“They have a reputation of being safe, but I'm not sure we can actually rely on that,” Amaryllis said. “But sure, we’ll manage. If we can handle skypirates and rogue dungeons, I’m sure we can handle a schoolyard scuffle if it comes to it.”Valerian smiled and nodded, then carefully extended a package to us. It was relatively small and wrapped in brown paper. “This is my letter, as well as a few gifts for Cottage. Please make sure she gets everything.”“Sure,” Amaryllis said as she took the package. Then she glanced down at herself and frowned. “This uniform has no pockets.”“Cottage has complained about that at length as well. Apparently the school allows for satchels and purses and backpacks, which have become the best way for someone to flaunt their wealth,” Valerian said. “There are some very exclusive leatherworkers in Inkwren who make practical works of art. They have backlogs that can last years!”That sounded... actually, that sounded like exactly what people would do. “Is it just purses and bags?” I asked.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.Valerian shrugged. “Shoes as well. Those tend to be a status symbol across all the academies, however. Most academy uniforms feature robes or the like-except for Spear’s Academy; they don’t have a dress code at all-so it’s normal for students to flaunt their wealth with nicer footwear and accessories. And in some schools, nicer, more tailored robes.”I couldn’t decide if Inkwren was weird for that or not.“So, where is Mitytea Academy?” I asked. “Is it far?”“Oh no, it’s not far at all,” Valerian said. “I picked this hotel because of its relative proximity to the academy. Mitytea is one of the academies that is closest to the centre of the city. It’s campus is quite small compared to some of the others. Just take a left on exiting the hotel, then another left at the nearest intersection, you can’t really miss the school after that.”“And where is Cottage staying?” I asked.“She’ll be in the dorms. There’s only one dormitory, but it’s quite large. Third floor, east wing. The rooms are unnumbered, but they have the names of the occupants on them. You could leave the package with Cottage’s roommate, if you want. She's quite nice as well.”We didn’t have much more to discuss past that. Awen had a satchel still, so after moving some of her emergency tools to the side, we were able to stash the package away, then we headed out.I was expecting us to get a lot of looks. Four girls and one boy-dressed-as-a-girl walking around in bright white uniforms, but surprisingly no one seemed to glance our way.Well, no one but a bunch of young men in black robes who whistled rather rudely until Amaryllis fired a bolt of lightning past their ears.We went left on leaving the hotel, and I was very aware of how unarmoured I was, which was a strange thing to notice. Had I gotten so used to wearing at least a gambeson and cuirass that now that I was without I was feeling a bit... not naked, but certainly underdressed?Like showing up at a fancy party in jeans and a t-shirt.“I’m surprised,” Caprica said as we walked along. “That you were so eager to accept this little side quest, Amaryllis.”“You’re specifically surprised that I wanted to take it?” Amaryllis asked.“Yes. Awen doesn’t seek out trouble, Calamity seeks out another kind of trouble, and Broccoli seems like she’s be willing to do anything for the sake of meeting new people. You, on the other hand, always seemed like the level-headed voice of reason.”I... should I have been insulted. Awen and Calamity seemed more amused than anything, and I was never in a hurry to find fault in something a friend said, but still, that didn’t sound right at all. I wasn’t willing to try anything to meet new people.Amaryllis huffed. “You may remember Francisco? You met him in Sylphfree.”“The rather arrogant harpy man that challenged you to a duel, yes, I remember him. You clearly have some history with him,” Caprica said.“‘History’ doesn’t cover the depths of my hatred for that man,” Amaryllis said. “In any case, Valerian is his older brother. He is... perhaps a little more simple and less cunning than Francisco, but if my parents had arranged for me to marry him instead, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so keen on removing his head. He’s a... nice man.”I processed that for a moment. The somewhat dopey and nice Valerian we’d just met, who seemed very in love right now and rather silly for it, married to my best friend Amaryllis. That would lead to a very poor Valerian whom Amaryllis would lead by the tip of his beak. I loved Amaryllis very much, but she was the sort of woman whose spine was made of some sort of magically-reinforced steel.“That doesn’t explain why we’re all dressed like schoolgirls heading off on a mission with very little time to prepare,” Caprica said.“Well, mostly I want him to owe me one, and can you imagine how angry Francisco will be when I call in that favour?” Amaryllis asked. “Ah, I don’t know how it is among the sylph, but within harpy society, a favour is owned by a family. I could call that favour with nearly any Hawk. Though really there are some practical issues with that.”Caprica nodded along. “Self-interest and a petty need to one-up your adversary then. That makes a lot more sense.”Amaryllis huffed, insulted, but unable to contradict the statement.Fortunately for her ego, we arrived at the next intersection and turned left, and I found my eyes caught by a car moving by. An actual car, not pulled by horses, but by a large steam engine billowing smoke out above it and making a huge amount of noise while a team of students from one of the academies hung onto it.“Whoa,” I said. “I haven’t seen cars in a while.”“It’s hardly impressive,” Amaryllis said. “A less useful use of an engine than an airship. Far more confined.”That... was weird to think of, especially coming from a world where cars were all over, but in a way she was right. This world had roads, sure, but most were unpaved, and they certainly weren’t asphalted. Besides, Amaryllis came from a super mountainous region, and so did Caprica. They wouldn't be able to use cars if they had them. Mattergrove might, but they seemed to be having a hard time catching up to other nation’s development of airships and the like.I set all of that aside as we paused before a large wrought-iron gate, the words “Mitytea Academy” emblazoned over the top. Beyond that was a beautiful set of buildings made of a beige stone, with verdigris-green rooftops arranged in a large C around a central courtyard.There were a number of girls within, all in the same white uniforms we were now wearing.“Looks like this is it,” Amaryllis said. “Let’s deliver that letter and get out of here.”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Three — Artful Debate
Chapter Four Hundred and Three — Artful Debate The gate to Mitytea academy was guarded by two men, one on either side. They were in white uniforms not too dissimilar to the ones my friends and I were wearing, but with pants and the weapons were a lot more obvious.They glanced at us for just a moment. Then one of them frowned. “Are you students here?” he asked.“We’re in the uniform, aren’t we?” Caprica asked.The guard’s eyes narrowed. “What’s the password?”I felt my heart sink into my tummy. “There’s a password?” I asked right back. Why hadn’t Valerian told us anything about that? It would have been really, really good to know before arriving.The other guard laughed. “He’s pulling your leg. Go on in.”My heart was still thumping away as I thanked the nice guardsmen and slipped past them into the open courtyard at the front of the school. “Let’s keep moving,” Amaryllis said as she took the lead. She immediately turned to one side and started towards a small park set to the side of the school. It was mostly just a grassy hill with a few trees and tables.“Where, ah, are we going?” Awen asked.“Somewhere where we can regroup and think without looking too suspicious,” Amaryllis said. The park wasn’t entirely empty, there was a human girl sitting under a tree reading, and a couple more at one of the tables, but it was quiet otherwise.The entire campus seemed to be on the quieter side of things.Then again, maybe classes were in session? That would explain where most of the students were.We took over the free table, squeezing onto the bench around it while Amaryllis thought. “Alright, I think the best case scenario here is that we do this quickly. We find Cottage, give her the letter, then leave. No fuss or muss.”“Sounds good to me,” Caprica said.“Likewise,” Calamity agreed. “This skirt is way too short. It’s indecent.”I hadn’t known Calamity to be prudish about stuff like skirts, but maybe having him wear one changed his mind about it. “Alright, so how do we find her?” I asked. “Valerian said where her dorm room was, do we just snoop around there?”“So, what are we expecting to go wrong?” Amaryllis asked.“Um,” Awen started. ”We could be discovered. That thing at the gate almost got us. I thought he knew we weren’t real students.”“The less time we spend here, the less likely our ruse is to be discovered,” Caprica said with a nod. “The less time we spend interacting with the students as well. We don’t know anything about the school’s culture and... well, we stick out, if only because our group is so diverse.”“That’s one thing that could go wrong,” Amaryllis said. “We might also discover that Cottage isn’t here.”“Or that Valerian duped us and she doesn’t actually want anything to do with him,” Calamity said. He shrugged. “The bird seemed alright, but I’m not sure he seemed entirely sane.”I shook my head. “He could just be in love.”“That does make you feel a little, um, insane,” Awen agreed.“Well, whatever. How will we find Cottage? Are we really just going to head to her dorm? Because that feels a little... I don’t know. Weird?”“She's probably in class right now,” Amaryllis said. “We could just deliver the box and letter to her room. That would be good enough, I think.”I nodded, then stood up from the table and walked across the hill.“Wait, Broccoli, where are you going?” Amaryllis asked.“Just asking for directions,” I called back before stopping close to the girl under the tree.She paused in her reading and looked up at me, eyes blinking behind her glasses. “Yes?” she asked.“Oh, it’s okay, you can finish your page, I can wait,” I said with a smile. It wasn’t nice to interrupt someone in the middle of readingThe girl looked down at her book, then back up. I noticed her moving her thumb over to the page to mark her place. “It’s okay. Can I help you? Uh... I don’t recognize you, sorry.”“That’s okay! It’s my first time here. Anyway, I’m looking for someone called Cottage?”“The painter girl?” she asked.“That sounds right,” I said. Valerian had mentioned that she was into art. “Do you know where I could find her?”The girl shrugged. “I don’t know her schedule. But maybe check on the art class? I know she had that one. Uh, do you know how to find it?” At my headshake, she shifted a bit, then pointed to one of the buildings not too far off. “In there. Second floor. Listen for the people arguing.”“Thanks!” I said before bouncing back to my friends. “I have a lead.”Amaryllis huffed. “That was needlessly risky,” she said.“I told her it was my first time here. I think that works as a good cover story. It’s even true.”She rolled her eyes, then stood up, the others doing the same a moment later. “Did you get good directions, at least?”“I did! She didn’t know exactly where Cottage is, but we might find her in the art classroom. It’s in that building, on the second floor.” I pointed to where the reading girl did. Those were simple enough directions for any of us.With that, we took off. I tried to strike up a conversation, but I felt like all of my friends were a bit nervous. What if someone showed up and we were caught?We crossed the path of a teacher-looking person and all of us picked up the pace and moved past them in a bit of a hurry, but they seemed busy with their own thoughts and didn’t pay us any more than a passing glance.The school buildings were all quite majestic. Old stone, carefully worked over so that the corner pieces had carvings of flowers and several statues looked out from alcoves high up in the building. Each floor seemed bigger than the average, with huge arched windows letting in lots of natural light.Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.We slipped in, then took the first staircase up to the second floor, squeezing past a few students who eyed us in passing, but we were in the right uniforms and moving as if we knew where we were going, so no one stopped us.Once on the second floor corridor, I worried about finding the art classroom, but then my ears twitched and I picked up some noise bouncing from our left. Not quite screaming, but a discussion that was on the louder, more enthusiastic side of things. “Ah, this way, I think,” I said to my friends.We found the art classroom down that way. A shut door that wasn’t doing a fantastic job of muffling a loud argument on the other side.“He was a hack!”“He absolutely was not! You just lack the ability to appreciate the value he brought to the artistic community.”“His entire style is nothing but flat colours wasted on perfectly good canvas! Didn’t you read his memoires? He even admitted that he painted Remembrance of Pale-ish Blue in under a day to con some noble.”“That memoir wasn’t even written by him. It’s not a valid source for anything and you’re a fool to believe a word of it.”“Earlier, you quoted from it yourself!”I glanced at my friends. “I was expecting something else for an art class,” I said.“Like... painting and sculpting and art?” Awen asked.“Clearly, it’s some sort of art-debate class,” Caprica said. “I’ve run into this sort of person before. Don’t let them start criticising you.”“How are we going to find Cottage?” Awen asked. “We wait?”I shook my head. “No, that doesn’t sound productive.” So I reached forwards and knocked on the door. The discussion on the other side stopped for a moment, then continued, but I heard someone shuffling closer to the door, and it opened up to reveal another girl wearing the same uniform we were in. “Hi! We were wondering if Cottage was in this class?” I asked.The girl nodded, then glanced over her shoulder and back. “Did you need her right now? She’s on defence.”“Oh, uh, not really, we can wait out here,” I said with a little gesture to the corridor.The girl shook her head. “No, no, come on in.” She stepped back, allowing us into the classroom... though now that I was within, I wasn’t sure if it was a classroom at all. Sure, there were some desks with chairs, but there were also a few sofas along the walls, and it seemed like the few students in the class were spread out across them.The walls were covered in paintings. Most of them in nice frames, but a few were just raw canvas hanging on the walls, and there was even a sort of moving rack to one side with a dozen more slotted into place.The front of the room had two podiums facing each other, and a big easel between them where a painting was on full display.It smelled like paint in there too, which I supposed made sense. Though I couldn’t see any painting supplies anywhere.“That’s Cottage,” the girl who greeted us said while pointing to the front of the class, specifically the podium to the right.Cottage, as it turned out, was a small mousefolk girl in a very tiny version of the school’s official uniform. She was a pale brown, with big eyes and floppy mouse ears, and was wearing a scowl that seemed downright dangerous as she sparred verbally with the human girl at the podium opposite hers.She briefly glanced our way, but then continued to lay into the girl she was debating. I listened for a while, but even with magical translation skills, I couldn’t tell what she was talking about. It had to do with the painting between them. They had clearly taken sides and were debating over its merits, but it felt a bit beyond me.So I let my attention wander across the room. There was a lot to look at. Fantastic scenery paintings of hills and forests and glades, as well as some places that looked literally fantastical but which might have been real. An upside-down waterfall, a bunch of islands floating above a lake, a huge castle jutting out of a cliffside at a forty-five degree angle.There were some portraits too. People of all sorts of races and species, dressed in strange and colourful garb. Some I recognized. Harpy and sylph and elves and even a few cervid.Then I caught sight of one painting and let out a little gasp.It was a skeletal dog with glowing red eyes and huge, ferocious teeth.I wandered over to the painting, grabbing Amaryllis’ talon on the way. “Do you recognize him?” I whispered, pointing to the dog.She stared. “No? Wait... is that... what’s-his-name’s dog?”“Gunther! And the dog’s Throat Ripper. He was a good puppy.” I would never, of course, forget a dog’s name. Not to mention that Throat Ripper had saved Amaryllis’ life. I owed him a whole heap of scritches.“That was... ages ago,” Amaryllis said.Awen and Caprica and Calamity came around, staring at the same painting we were looking at. “That’s one ugly mutt,” Calamity said.“That’s a good boy,” I corrected. “It’s the pet dog of a necromancer Amaryllis and I met a long, long time ago.”“Ah, was that before we met?” Awen asked.“Uh-huh! I was just starting off as an explorer then. It was... hard. Amaryllis didn’t want to be my friend.”“That’s not how I remember it,” Amaryllis said with a rather snooty huff.“I’ll tell you all the story later,” I said. “Amaryllis got kidnapped, and we had to get saved by Throat Ripper.”“That dog’s called what?” Calamity asked.There was a small cough from behind us, and we all turned, then looked down, to discover Cottage standing behind us, looking somewhat unimpressed. “You mentioned wanting to meet me?” she asked.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Four — Mushy
Chapter Four Hundred and Four — Mushy “Hello, Miss Cottage,” I said with a bob of my head.One of Cottage’s eyebrows rose, but she nodded back. “That’s me, yes." Her gaze sharpened. "But strangely, I don't recognize a single one of you.""Strange?" I asked.“Yes. There are two buns in this school and only one catfolk. There are a few sylph and a number of harpies, but that’s about it. The most normal one here’s the human, and even then, we don’t have many blondes,” Cottage said. “So, your entire group is sticking out.”“What if we were all new?” Caprica asked.“Then you wouldn’t be wearing those neckties. Those are for second years,” Cottage said. “Something someone unfamiliar with the school might not know.”I touched the little pink tie around my neck, then shrugged. “Oh well! I guess our costumes weren’t that great after all. Still, your uniforms are very comfy, even if the skirts are too short.” Amaryllis shot me an amazingly betrayed look as I tossed our cover story out the window. Oops.Cottage’s other eyebrow rose to meet the first. “Alright, so we’ve established that you’re not meant to be here, which leaves the question, why are you here, and why are you here looking for me? Are you assassins? Because I’m not defenceless.”Curious, I fired off an Insight on Cottage, just to see what she meant.Cottage, a mousefolk Painter of the Once Living, level seventeenOh, that was an impressive level for someone that I guessed wasn’t much older than my friends and I, and who seemed to be an artist above all else. “We’re not here for anything like that,” Amaryllis said. “We came over on the request of a mutual friend. A harpy you might know?”Cottage’s expression changed in a blink, going from somewhat guarded and very feisty, to a full-faced blush that was even starting to creep up her ears. “Valerian sent you?” she asked.“That’s the one,” Amaryllis said. She grabbed the letter, and the little package, then with nowhere else to put it, placed it on the ground next to Cottage.That was the first time I noticed that there were a few desks near the middle of the class that were sized for mousefolk like Cottage. Cute! But then again, so was Cottage. She practically leapt on the letter, pulling it close to her chest even though the letter itself was almost as big as she was.“Thank you,” she squeaked. “Wait! Are you going back to Valerian after this?”“I guess so,” I said.“Then... could you give me some time to pen a reply?” she asked.Her whole personality had shifted in just a few moments there. I glanced at my friends, and we all seemed to have the same consensus. “We don’t mind waiting for you,” I said. “Are you going to write in your room?”“Oh? No, I think the library would be best. One moment!” She picked up the little package that Valerian had sent, and raising it over her head, she scurried across the art room. “Laura!” she called out.A human girl a little ways away blinked, then squatted down, lowering her hand for Cottage to run onto it. She stood up, then took the package from Cottage while the mouse girl explained something with a lot of arm-waving.Laura walked over to us, nodding rather shyly while holding onto Cottage. She’d tucked the package-but not the letter-away in a small satchel-purse hanging by her hip. “Hi,” she said with a little wave.Cottage placed her hands on her hips, one of them still holding onto the side of the letter so that it didn’t go too far. The blush was gone, and the feistiness was back. She cleared her throat. “Sorry about that. I got a little excited. Think nothing of it.”“Which part?” I asked. “The bit where you ran across the room to get your friend, or the part where you got really excited and all red because you got a letter from a boy?”Cottage glared at me, but it was made ineffective by the way her cheeks blushed. “Neither or both, I don’t care as long as you wipe the memory away. Now, follow me. Laura, could you be so kind as to lead us to the library?”“Okay,” Laura said. “But Cottage, who are they?”Cottage paused, then turned back to us. “That’s a fantastic question. I know that Valerian sent you, so I assume you’re... mercenaries? An all-female mercenary team?”“Oi,” Calamity said. “I’m a guy.”Cottage blinked, then looked him up and down. “Huh,” she said. “You must all be quite talented then, to get past the school’s magic security. In any case, are you hired by Valerian?”“Not quite,” I said. “We’re doing this as a favour... and for fun. Mostly for fun, actually. I think we were won over by the cute outfits.” I tugged the hem of the skirts up a bit, then let it drop and shifted my hips around, sending the skirt twirling a bit.Cottage blinked a few times, her whiskers twitching. “Well, whatever. I suppose Valerian was right to hire you if you made it this far.”“Again, he didn’t hire us,” Amaryllis said. “He asked for a favour, and we agreed to help. It’s entirely different. We’re hardly mercenaries.”“Um, Cottage, are they... supposed to be here?” Laura asked.“I’m pretty much sure we’re not allowed to be here,” I said.Cottage waved her friend’s concern off. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure they’ll be respectful and leave before curfew even begins. Now, come on, I want to read what Vava sent me.”“Vava,” Amaryllis mouthed in horror.We left the art room, and Laura led our little ragtag group downstairs, and out of the building. Since it was between classes, the halls and outdoors of the school were much busier than they were when we came in. That meant a lot more strange looks, but since we were being led by someone more familiar, it looked as if we weren’t quite so suspicious.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.Laura brought us to a large building at the far end of the campus, it looked like both the administration building, and the library, all stuck together in one large edifice with big windows looking into a room filled with floor-to-ceiling shelves.We stepped in, and I paused for just a moment to take in a big lungful of old books. There was something about the smell of a library that was both familiar and just... nice. The gentle scent of aged paper, with whispers of ink and leather and dust.The library was split into a few sections, and I noticed a small gathering of girls talking in very low tones in one corner where there were a few sofas. Across from that was a section with a number of writing desks, split apart by half-wall dividers. That’s where we headed to.“Laura, can you put me down there? Yes, thanks. Give me a moment, I need to read Vava-Valerian’s letter.”Cottage hopped onto the desktop (there was a teensy ladder built into the side of it leading to the ground) and opened up a small cupboard built into the desk which had sheafs of paper and quills as well as a few small bottles of ink.Then she drew out a paintbrush taller than she was and smote the seal in two with a single blow. Another flick and the letter was laid out before her. She stood on the letter as she read it, and I imagined she liked what she read because her tail was twitching from left to right.I sneaked a little peek.My Dearest CottageOh, my sweet morning cheese, how you have captivated this noble’s heart. Your stubborn determination has proven to be a siren’s call, drawing me ever closer to your enchanting aroma. The brush strokes of your artistic endeavours, like the vibrant hues of a fantastical sunset, have painted my life in colours I knew not!I yoinked my attention away, feeling a bit of a blush clinging to my cheeks to go with the sudden flush of guilt I felt for reading.“You can’t read it,” Laura said. “They write to each other in code.” She shook her head, then gestured into the stacks and we followed, leaving Cottage alone to her reading.“That’s, ah, clever,” I said as I pretended not to notice Awen and Amaryllis’ knowing looks. “So, how did you become friends with Cottage, Laura?”Laura shrugged, looking down while her hands twiddled with each other. “It’s more that we started as roommates, and then Cottage didn’t really give me a choice.”I nodded. “That makes sense.”“No, Broccoli, that’s not how it’s supposed to work,” Amaryllis said. I stared at her, not quite understanding, but she ignored my curious look to ask Laura some more questions. “Are you a second year, then? You have a pink tie too.”“Yes,” Laura said, clearly more comfortable with this subject. “Red ties are first years, then the third years have smaller, white ties.”“That’s an interesting way of telling students apart,” Carpica said. “Kind of like military rank insignia.”“Ah, well, the joke is that the red ties are the only new ones. As they get washed and the colour bleaches out, they’re given to later years,” Laura said. “I don’t think that’s actually true, but... yeah, that’s the joke.” She coughed to clear her throat, and I couldn’t help but feel the awkwardness radiating off of her.I would have given her a hug, but I was pretty sure that would just make things worse for the poor girl.“So, Cottage and Valerian... he didn’t exactly give many details about it,” Amaryllis said. “Are they... steady?”“I think so,” Laura said. “She goes on and on about how he’s not very smart, and how he dresses poorly, and how he... uh, anyway, but at the same time she gets all blushy and distraught whenever she brings him up. I think they’re serious? He did travel all the way here. It’s the worst-kept secret in the school that they’re basically dating.”“Strange that she doesn’t just visit him then,” Amaryllis said.“Her parents don’t like him,” Laura explained. “And you’re not allowed to date people while attending the academy.”“H-how would that work?” Awen asked.Laura shrugged. “It really doesn’t. I think half the girls here have dated someone from one of the other academies in the area. Or if not, they’re dating each other. I mean, you’re not allowed but holding hands isn’t against the rules, so....”“So it’s not very effective,” Caprica said. “I’m a little conflicted. On the one hand, the rule ostensibly makes sense, but it’s stifling people’s love lives, and if you can't enforce it, then... what’s the point of it?”“I think it’s mostly to give the staff a reason to punish students that leak information out of the academy even more. You have no idea how much trouble Cottage would get into if you were discovered.”I wanted to ask more about that, but then Cottage was waving towards us. Or more accurately, she was waving a folded piece of paper over her head. “I’m done,” she said.We moved over, and she placed the letter down on the table, picked up a quill with her entire body, then signed her name at the bottom.I couldn’t help it, and I read the first couple of lines.My Dearest Vava,Oh, my valiant harpy, how your presence uplifts me, as if your wings have granted me the gift of flight! Your noble spirit and boundless love have cast away the shadows that once lingered in my world, illuminating my life with the brilliance of a thousand stars-And that was enough of that. I cleared my throat. “So, you want us to deliver this to Vava— I mean, uh, Valerian?” I asked. “Easy peasy!”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Five — Social Networking
Chapter Four Hundred and Five — Social Networking Cottage folded her letter up, then took a gob of wax the size of her fist and pressed it onto the seam of the letter. She focused, and with a bit of magic, melted the wax down.Then she removed her belt, the buckle of which had a pattern on it, and she stepped onto the buckle while holding onto the belt’s strap, imprinting the symbol on it onto the wax. “There,” Cottage said as she tugged the loop free.I was impressed by how casually Cottage was able to overcome the little inconveniences posed by her small stature. It must have been tricky living in a world mostly designed for people a dozen times taller than she was, and yet she managed it.“Here you go,” Cottage said as she lifted up the letter and handed it to Amaryllis. “Make sure this makes it to Valerian in one piece, please.”“We’ll deliver it, no worries,” Amaryllis said as she took the letter. The only thing written on the outside was ‘to Valerian’ where the dot on the I was replaced by a little heart. “If that’s all, then... well, I suppose we should go.”“You know, this is very strange. Usually when we do something like this we get into a bunch of trouble, but this time nothing bad happened,” I said.“Don’t jinx us, Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “We haven’t even left the school yet.”“I’ll escort you out,” Cottage said. Then she turned towards Laura, raised her arms, and made little ‘pick me up’ gestures with her hands. Laura placed her hand flat on the table and Cottage scurried on. “In the meantime, could you tell me more about how you know Valerian?”“Is she jealous?” Awen muttered next to me.“I’m not jealous,” Cottage said, and Awen flushed red. “Just because my ears are small doesn’t mean they don’t work.”“S-sorry,” Awen said.I patted Awen on the back. I could kinda see where she was coming from. Cottage had just learned that the boy she liked a lot knew... well, discounting Calamity, at least four other girls, and my friends were quite pretty on average. Mostly as a side-benefit of being young and having work that kept us all fit. I could kinda see where she was coming from, but still, it was a bit silly.“I don’t think any of us want to steal your boyfriend away from you,” I said.“We could do better,” Amaryllis added, and I gave her a small kick.Cottage gave us both very flat looks. “And here I was thankful for your assistance thus far.”Caprica, fortunately, came in with a bit of diplomacy to save the day. “So, you wanted to know how we met Valerian?” That caught Cottage’s attention neatly. “It was all rather coincidental, really. We only stopped in Inkwren to refuel our ship and maybe pick up some supplies. Broccoli decided to come to town to look for a gift as well. One of her friends is getting wed and she's quite fond of books.”“Her name’s Booksie,” I said.“Is that her actual name?” Cottage asked as an aside as we started a slow walk out of the library.“I think it actually is, yeah,” I said. “She’s a bun... actually, I’m not sure how buns are named, usually. I’ve met a few and they all had cute names, like Buster or Carrot.”Cottage glanced up at me. “Why wouldn’t you know how buns are named, aren’t you...” She gestured vaguely above her head in a bunny-ear-ish way.“Oh, no, I was born a human,” I said. “I got the ears and the tail from a class change.”“Hm, impressive,” she said with a nod. “In any case, do go on?” The last was aimed at Caprica who nodded regally.“Of course. So, we decided to explore the city a little, and since we wished to stay the night, we went to a hotel to book some accommodations to reside in. Valerian was there, and he recognized Amaryllis here.”Cottage looked over to Amaryllis with judging eyes. “Are you a relation of his?”“Almost, but fortunately not,” Amaryllis said. “I was briefly and involuntarily engaged to his brother. If you ever do marry Valerian then... beware your new siblings. Francisco is a piece of work.”“Vava-Valerian has mentioned as much, yes. He did say that he hoped that his brother would calm down somewhat as he grew older and more mature,” Cottage said.Amaryllis shrugged. “I doubt it. Some people are hopeless.”“Don’t be like that, Amaryllis,” I said. “There’s always hope... even if it’s not a very big hope, there’s still a little bit.”“Anyway,” Caprica said with a shake of her head that dismissed our banter. “We met Valerian there. He and Amaryllis recognized each other, of course. He was quite courteous and polite, though he did seem somewhat desperate to have that message sent to you.” That last bit wasn’t a question. It didn’t have the inflection of a question. But still, somehow Caprica left the end dangling as if it could maybe be a question.Cottage frowned, then crossed her arms. “Don’t go repeating this to just anyone. But Inkwren has been in a great deal of trouble recently. Valerian wants me to move out with him, leaving the city and returning to where he thinks we’ll be safe. I, of course, refuse to go.”“Wait, why would Inkwren be in trouble?” I asked.“There’s been talk of some big conflict between Sylphfree, the Harpy Mountains, and the Republic in the Trenten Flats for some time,” Cottage said, and I nodded along. We’d been through a whole adventure to try and stop that. “So the Trenten Flats have been preparing for that conflict for some time. But it suddenly seems as if it won’t materialise after all.”“We definitely need to catch up with international news,” Caprica said. “But that seems like a good thing overall, no?”This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.“Maybe for most of the world,” Cottage said with a nod. “But if the Trenten Flats won’t be fighting against the Harpy Mountains or Sylphfree, a conflict that they’d be hard pressed to win, then they will likely feel compelled to turn their attention elsewhere. They’ve been expanding outwards for decades. The expansion hit a hard wall with the Snowlands to the north-there’s no way they’d get past the dwarves or the elves there, but it’s been quite successful down here.”“You think the cervid will be pushing into Inkwren soon?” Amaryllis asked.“It’s possible. And don’t call the Trenten Flats the cervid. While there’s plenty of cervid that make up their population, they’re not a monospecies government,” Cottage said.That was right, Calamity was from there, and he wasn’t a half-deer-half-human. I imagined that there were other species in the flats as well. I hadn’t spent too much time looking at it on a map, but they were, essentially, the largest nation on Dirt. Or at least in the corner of Dirt we were on.“New Horizon was a small city to the north of here, settled by mousefolk like myself,” Cottage said. “As well as a number of humans. Not long ago the Trentan Flats pushed their way in, and now the city is theirs. They didn’t exactly prevent anyone from leaving, but... well, you hear stories. And now New Horizon is much larger, and the republic has been building up their army for a war that won’t happen.” She shook her head again. “It’s why so many in Inkwren are nervous about a possible war. Not that it would really be a war.”“Inkwren has the academies,” Laura said.“Which are well and good, but they’re not standing armies,” Caprica said. “Yes, I could see why there would be a lot of worry.”Cottage sighed, then she turned and just sat down right there on Laura’s hand. “Well, I’m not going to go down without a fight. Valerian ought to know that much about me by now. And... I’m sorry for burdening you with my troubles. It’s been on my mind for some time now. All of my friends know, of course, and the news is slowly starting to circulate, but I want it to stay as a rumour before we cause any sort of panic to spread.”“That’s fair,” I said. “We’ll keep it to ourselves for now, unless we think there’s something we can do to help.”Cottage frowned. “This might affect you too. If you’re travelling by air, be careful of pirates. There’s been a sharp rise in those, and we suspect that it’s not just coincidence. Inkwren relies on air travel to ship our inks and papers across the world. Not to mention carrying students to and from the academies. So the skies being unsafe harms the city in a big way.”I glanced at my friends. “We’ve dealt with pirates before, but I don’t know what I can do about all of this.”“It’s fine,” Cottage said. “I appreciate you delivering Valerian's letter in any case. Is there... something I could do in exchange?”I considered it for a moment, then grinned. “Do you know of a good bookstore in the city? We want to get Booksie something special as a wedding gift!”Cottage paused for a moment, then laughed. “Yes, I can think of one or two decent shops. But the best is Pecorina’s place.”“We’ve heard of her!” I said, remembering that mousefolk guy who’d poked around the Beaver. He’d mentioned the same name.“She’s a distant relation, and something of a friend,” Cottage said. “Tell her you come with my recommendation. It might be worth a little discount if she’s feeling charitable.”We crossed the school green without incident, only coming to a stop once we were by the gates. Cottage gave us some rather detailed directions, with Laura pitching in every so often.I still had to ask for her to clarify, because a lot of her directions had things like ‘take a right at the street where the Westerson Academy boy passed out while drunk last semester’ and ‘walk on the side of the street opposite Old Miss Nomve’s, especially around sunset because she still empties her chamberpot on the road even if she gets fined for it all the time and has working plumbing.’We thanked her, then I gave Laura a hug for being a good friend, and Cottage got a good luck hug, even if it was a little strange to hug someone so small (it was like hugging a plushie, really).The guard looked a bit confused as we left. He reminded us that curfew started in about an hour, so we thanked him, then headed out deeper into the city, following the directions for Pecorina’s bookstore.“That was fun,” I said as I skipped ahead. I had a lot I could say about the Mitytea Academy uniform, but one thing was certain, the skirt was fabulously bouncy.“It was something,” Calamity said. “Think we can stop somewhere and buy pants?”“They’d have to be white to match the top,” Caprica said teasingly.“Ah, aren’t we more concerned about the, um, maybe war thing. And the pirates?” Awen asked.“I don’t think we, personally, have to worry about war,” Amaryllis said. “Though we might be able to do something about it. We should be getting close enough to the Harpy Mountains that I’ll be able to send letters there and back without issue. I can inform my family, who can, in turn, spread the news around.”I nodded. That felt like a good first step. I wanted to do more, of course, but part of me was also a little bit tired of trying to save the world all the time.Maybe... maybe that was a bit wrong of me too, but sometimes a simple, fun day out with my friends was what I wanted more than anything else.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Six — Bookmouse
Chapter Four Hundred and Six — Bookmouse “I can’t believe that just... worked,” Amaryllis said.“Really?” I asked. “Did you think we’d have trouble?”We were walking along the sidewalk. It was actually a bit past mid-day, and I suspected that a number of the people on the road were off from work already. Hopefully the bookstore wouldn’t be closed when we got to it.“Broccoli, we almost always get into some sort of trouble,” Amaryllis said.“Not... uh... hmm,” I said. “Okay, maybe, but we never faced any trouble that we couldn’t handle.”“Because of luck,” Amaryllis said.“No, because of the magic of friendship,” I replied.She rolled her eyes. I think we’d had this exact debate once, and Amaryllis was adamant that there was no such thing, and that if there was, then, someone from a magicless world like me would certainly not be able to prove it.“I think that was refreshing,” Awen said. “Um, not having to fight, or run away, or sneak out, or blow up a wall or something to escape.”“Did ny’a ever have to blow up a wall to get outta something?” Calamity asked.“Not yet,” I said.“Yet?” Caprica repeated.I considered it for a while, then looked at Awen. “Could you?” I asked her.Awen blinked back, caught a bit flat-footed by the question. “Blow up a wall? Um ... hm. I'm a Mechanic, not a Demolitionist. I mean... maybe I could? I made explosive arrowheads for my bolts, I guess, but that’s not the same thing.”I turned back to Caprica. “It’s basically inevitable,” I said.“You know, my intentions when leaving home were to see more of the world and to accelerate my advancement. Not so much to do crime in literally every place we visit.”“We didn’t do any crime in Codswood,” Calamity said.“Oh... so we didn’t. I stand duly corrected,” Caprica said magnanimously.We chatted about this and that and not much at all as we continued down the road. I noticed a lot of eyes glancing our way, but we weren’t even the only group from Mitytea Academy, so we didn’t stand out that much. Besides, of all the places I’d visited, Inkwren was one of the ones with the greatest variation in species present. All the big ones were around in decent numbers, harpy and sylph and grenoil and cervid and of course lots of humans, seeing as we were so close to the western side of the continent.But there were dwarves and elves and more mousefolk, and some ostri people too. Not to mention catfolk and buns and even some drolls and some people whose race I’d never seen before, but I didn’t have time to stop and gawk.We did have to stop and ask for directions, and I chose to ask a very nice walking flowerpot. The bonsai-like tree above it pointed to an intersection a bit further down with a branch and I thanked it kindly before heading that way with my friends.I had a certain image in mind for what Pecorina’s bookstore would look like. It would be something like the homes around us, all brick and mortar, maybe in the basement of an apartment building. Something tight and cozy and warm, with lots of books and an owner that loved to read.Instead, Pecorina’s was its own building. It was jammed in between a butcher’s shop and a small store that seemed to sell candies and pastries, but the bookshop was so large that it looked ready to burst, like it was only the brick and stone that made up the building keeping it from exploding out onto the street.It reminded me of a bag of luggage packed so full that someone had to sit on it to clasp it closed.A sign at the front simple read “Pecorina’s” in big, bold letters, and the windows probably didn’t let in much natural light since they were blocked out by stacks and stacks of books.“Well,” I said. “If we can’t find something for Booksie here, then we’re not going to find it anywhere,” I said.I tried the front door, found it unlocked, then opened it up for my friends to slip in.The entrance was surprisingly pretty clear of books, with a small area with a pair of low tables surrounded by comfy, plush couches. A counter was to the left, with a register sitting proudly atop it before a wall of carefully stacked books. The counter actually had a miniature catwalk-like set of ramps in front of it, all sized so that a mousefolk reader could climb up to see over it.For some reason, the ceiling was actually quite low, and the tips of my ears were almost brushing the beams above.One of the clients glanced up at our arrival, but they went back to reading quickly enough.“Okay,” I said as I took in a deep breath. “How do we do this?” I didn’t feel the need to lower my voice as much as I did in a library, but it still felt wrong to talk too loud. People were reading, after all.“Search the stacks until we find something good?” Caprica suggested. “Only... Calamity and I haven’t met this Booksie friend of yours. We won’t know what to look for.”“Perhaps I can help with that.”I jumped, then looked down. There was a mousefolk person walking our way from around the back of one of the couches. They were towing a tiny handcart behind them, painted a bright red and with a few books stacked onto it.“Hi,” I said before squatting down to be at the lady’s height. She might have been small, but she seemed older than Cottage by quite a bit, with some white around the whiskers, and she was dressed very sensibly, in a teeny knit sweater and skirt with large glasses perched on the tip of her nose. “We’re looking for something special for a friend of ours.”“Are you, now?” she asked. “What sort of special?”Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.“Well, we’re looking for a book for someone who really loves books. Her name is Booksie, and she’s getting married, so we wanted something to get her as a gift.”“With a name like that, I’d hope she enjoys books,” the lady said. She bent down herself, then leapt up into the air, gaining a surprising amount of height. Then one of the books on the cart behind her shot up and forwards, coming to a dead stop right under her just at the apex of her jump so that she landed on it with a dainty step, then the book continued to rise, and so did I, standing from my crouch as she came to my eye level. “I’m Pecorina, the owner of this shop. I hope you understand that no matter what you say, I don’t give discounts to academy students.”I glanced at the spine of the book she was standing on. Impressing Others with Casual Magic — Fifth Edition. I had to hold back a giggle. It had certainly worked on me!“So, what kind of books is your friend into?” Pecorina asked. “And if you don’t know that, what can you tell me about her?”We followed as Pecorina started to float deeper into the store, standing straight and poised atop her book.“Um, well, she’s a bun, about... how old do you think Booksie is?” I asked Amaryllis and Awen.“Early twenties, I’d guess,” Amaryllis said. “Maybe a bit older. It’s hard to tell with buns and humans, they don’t have big changes in their plumage that gives away their age.”“Um, I’d guess later twenties?” Awen tried.“Okay, so around that age,” I said to Pecorina. “She’s a bun, like me.” I wiggled my ears for emphasis.Pecorina nodded. “I see. I see, anything more? Preferences? What does she do?”“She runs a bookstore in Port Royal,” I said. “It closed down for a little while, but it’s running again. And I think it’s doing well. Or I hope it is! It’s very cozy and small though. Um... she’s not much of an adventurer, but she is adventurous. She’s marrying someone called Rhawrexdee. He’s a dragon.”Pecorina paused. “You mean that metaphorically?” she asked. “A large man, maybe?”“No, I mean that literally. He’s, uh, about thirty paces long. Not counting his tail. Big wings. Claws. I don’t know if he can breathe fire?”Pecorina blinked a few times. “And this Booksie friend of yours is... about your own size, give or take?”“Yeah, about,” I agreed. “Why?”Pecorina shook her head. “No, nevermind,” she said. “Let’s just find something suitable for your friend.” Pecorina’s book continued floating into the maze-like stacks at the back of the store.Pecorina’s selection of books was as vast as it was eclectic, with ancient, dusty tomes slotted in next to shiny new books. All the paper and leather around us did a great job of muffling the noise, though the floor did creak, but it was less a dangerous creaking and more the comfortable sound of an old home settling in place.“Your friend sounds a little difficult to shop for, but I think I have an idea of something she might enjoy. It’s a book that I’ve never quite been able to find a buyer for. The Art of Being Majestic. By Shemikholun Khlozing Paren Thesys.”“That’s a mouthful of a name,” I said.Pecorina nodded. “They’re a rather famous anthropologist. A dragon one, of all things. They travelled the world, took notes about various cultures and peoples, then ate them. The... latter part is a little distasteful, admittedly.”Calamity snorted. “Distasteful, heh.”Amaryllis swatted him with a wing. “That’s interesting. A book written by a dragon, of all things.”“There are a few copies floating around, but what I have is the original. His actual, unedited notebook which he kept with him on his travels and which he eventually gave to one of the Academies of Inkwren in order for them to turn it into a book.”“That must be fantastically rare,” Caprica said.“It’s certainly unique. The contents of the book are interesting, though no more than the edited, more popular version. It’s the book’s pedigree that makes it worthwhile.”I could almost hear the coins clinking together as the cost added up.After a few twists and turns, Pecorina stopped in front of a locked glass cabinet. She rummaged in her pocket and withdrew a large (for her), antique key which she used to unlock the cabinet. Inside, carefully cradled on a plush pillow, lay a thick, leather-bound notebook.It was the size of a bed.“Um,” I said. The book was as wide as my armspan, and half a foot thick, though the pages looked particularly thick already. “That’s a big book,” I said.“Do you have any idea how much space this takes up?” Pecorina said with a huff. “I’ve been trying to sell it for some time. It’s too valuable to let go for nothing, but too cumbersome for most collectors.”“Sounds expensive,” Amaryllis said, sounding a bit guarded.Pecorina smiled. “I have cheaper options of course. But the price of this one’s reasonable. It’s-”Just as she was about to reveal the price, and as Amaryllis prepared to bargain, a loud crash echoed through the bookstore. We all turned towards the noise to see that a whole stack of books was spilling to the floor with a wash of old dust.I almost covered my mouth against the dust before remembering my Cleaning magic and whisking it away.“Oh, not again,” Pecorina grumbled. She waved, and a few books came flying up and around her. I had time to read one of their titles as it zipped by. A guide to Proactive Self-Defence. Then she paused and eyed us. “How would you like a small discount?” she asked. “In exchange for a bit of easy ghost hunting?”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seven — Off the Books
Chapter Four Hundred and Seven — Off the Books “What can you tell us about this ghost?” Amaryllis asked.Pecorina frowned and gestured vaguely towards the fallen stack of books. They rose up, and the books carefully slotted themselves back into their spots on the shelves. “This has been an issue for... well, some time now,” she said.“You’re haunted?’ Caprica asked.“I’m not haunted. The store is,” she said. “And by a very persistent and clever ghost.”“Aren’t ghosts usually easy to get rid of?” Calamity asked. “Smack them with something magical and they’re done for, no?”“That’s usually the case, yes,” Amaryllis said, before turning to Pecroina. "And you're clearly not lacking when it comes to magic. So, why is your store still haunted?" she asked, her tone turning a bit leading.Pecorina crossed her arms. “This isn’t a normal ghost. Obviously. If it was, then I’d have squished them between two books long ago. Everyone in Inkwren knows better than to try and mess with my store. Even the academies respect me.”“Are you that strong?” I asked.She grinned. “I’m a Bibliomancer. The more books I have, the stronger I am.” She made a little gesture to the stacks and stacks of books all around us. “It’s a rather uncommon class, though there are a couple of us in Inkwren. We can pull magic and enchantments directly from the books themselves. I have a million books and ten thousand spells as long as I’m in my shop.”“Wow,” I said, genuinely impressed. It did sound like a very cool class.Not one for me, though. It sounded like she’d need to lug around all of these books with her if she ever wanted to go on an adventure, and that seemed terribly inconvenient. I couldn’t imagine myself dragging a heavy chest full of books through a dungeon or something."So, you are strong," I said. "But I guess that's not enough to banish this particular ghost?"Pecorina rubbed her little nose. "Correct. It won't die," she said. “I’ve smashed it, fired a library of spells at it, and even found books on exorcism and ghost hunting and cast spells specifically designed to get rid of more powerful undead. But it keeps coming back.”“Is it harmful?” Caprica asked. “Other than knocking down bookshelves?”"Knocking down bookshelves is harmful," Pecorina contested. "New books lose value even from something as minor as a scuffed corner, whereas old books are fragile and can't take the abuse. Mashed pages, split bindings, I've even had covers break off entirely. This ghost is costing me money, to say nothing of the fact that someday, one of those bookshelves is probably going to fall on someone."I considered it for a moment, then shrugged. “We could try, I guess.”“Especially if it means a discount,” Amaryllis added.Pecorina snorted. “I’ll drop the price on whatever you purchase today by half. How does that sound?”That sounded like a fantastic deal. “We’ll do it!” I said. “Amaryllis, do you think my magic would work? I could hit the entire store all at once.”“Whoa now, wait one moment,” Pecorina said. “You won’t be getting any discounts if you blow up my store. What sort of magic are you talking about here?”“Cleaning magic,” I said. “I have it at Master, or S rank. It’s really strong!”“Master-ranked Cleaning,” Pecorina said. “That’s a new one. Not the first Master Rank magic I’ve ever seen, but definitely one of the stranger ones. I suppose that won’t harm most of my books. But, at the same time... I’d rather you didn’t just go around blasting it without a care. Some of my books here are ancient, and they might not take kindly to any magic, others have intricate spellwork woven into them, which might fray if exposed to overwhelming amounts of cleaning magic.”I nodded along. I didn’t know enough about magic to tell if that was entirely correct. I could somewhat direct my Cleaning magic to target some things and not others, so I was pretty sure I could avoid damaging anything-but would it work on crumbling, possibly suspicious magic? I wasn't sure. Besides, it would probably be rude to second-guess the expert on ancient books.I looked to my friends. “I’m down for a bit of ghost hunting,” I said.“Sure,” Caprica replied. “We don’t have much else planned for the rest of the day.”“If we don’t succeed in a reasonable amount of time, then we might have to give up and just buy the book outright,” Amaryllis said.Awen just nodded, happy to help, and Calamity shrugged. “I’m a decent hunter, you know. But I’d never hunted a ghost before. Let alone hunted in a bookshop.”Pecorina seemed happy with our choice, which is when she dropped her ultimatum on us. “Well, I can’t have you five gallivanting around my shop all day. You’ll be bothering my actual clients. So how’s this, if you can’t find and rid me of the ghost, then I’ll increase the price on the book instead.”“That doesn’t seem fair,” I said.She shrugged. “My shop, my rules,” she replied.I pouted, but she was kinda right, even if it was patently unkind of her to increase the price just because we might not be able to hunt the ghost down.Pecorina wasn’t entirely unfair though. She led us up to the second floor where there was a section on ghosts and the supernatural. (Which was weird. Why was magic by itself was not considered supernatural, but ghosts and such were?) She said that we could peruse it at will, and Amaryllis and Caprica immediately started doing just that.“Ah, I think I’m just going to wander a bit,” Awen said. “I think she might have some books on mechanics and airships that I might want to look at. I have a few on the Beaver but sometimes I wish I had better references to work with.”If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.“Okay,” I said. “In that case, I’ll wander around too. Maybe I can corner that ghost on my own, then blast it with Cleaning magic.”“I’ll see about hunting it down myself,” Calamity said.And with that, we split up, exploring different sections of the store. I went upstairs, eyes darting between dusty tomes in the quietest corner of the maze-like store where I had to hold my ears down so that they wouldn’t get caught in the cobwebs. It was hard to resist the temptation to just Clean everything.As I navigated the maze-like store, I felt a sudden chill run down my spine. Turning around quickly, I saw a book floating in mid-air before it dropped to the floor. "I think I found our ghost," I muttered to myself, and started to charge my Cleaning magic, focusing on not damaging the surrounding books.The ghost might have sensed my intent, because it immediately fled, disappearing through the shelves.The chase was on!Well, it was on at a slow and respectful pace. I wasn’t going to start running around and screaming while in the middle of Miss Pecorina’s shop. Instead I walked in the direction I’d noticed the ghost moving in.As I walked deeper into the labyrinth of books, I could feel a distinct shift in the environment. It was colder here, the air felt denser. A book lifted itself off the shelf and dropped to the floor right in my path. Somewhat hesitantly, I knelt down and picked it up. The title was How to Deny Home Intruders, A Guide, which might have been a message.I paused, my heart pounding. "Hey there, ghost," I said, trying to keep my voice steady and non-threatening. "I'm Broccoli. We need to talk. I promise, I won't hurt you." I’d hurt an undead friend once. It wasn’t going to happen again.For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the book I was holding was yanked out of my hands and flew back onto the shelf. A moment later, another book flew off the shelf and smacked onto the floor just before my toes.The book opened, then the pages started to flick by, faster and faster until all of a sudden, it stopped and the book came to rest, opened for me to see.The page it stopped on had a chapter titled, The Importance of Mutual Respect. I couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, then," I said. "Let's have a respectful conversation. Um, I’m guessing you can hear me, then?”Nothing happened for a long moment, then the temperature in the room dropped until I was shivering. A spectral head emerged from the bookshelf, icy blue and semi-transparent. It looked at me with glowing eyes, its expression unreadable. It was just the vague outline of the top of someone’s head, as if they were peeking out from around a corner. The form was too blurry and translucent to really make out any details, but there was a slight hint of glasses on the face, and something about the size suggested that they were young.Or maybe it was a non-human-like race, and my guess was all wrong."Are you... um, the one who's been causing the trouble?" I asked, my voice shaky. I wasn't afraid, but I did feel a bit nervous. My experience with ghosts had mostly revolved around them trying to kill me. Well, most of the time. I’d met at least one nice ghost, and Orange was a spirit cat, which kind of made her ghost-adjacent.The ghost didn't respond verbally, but it did move. It took a step back into the bookshelf, then a book flew off the shelf. Confessions of a Misunderstood Spirit. I took that as a yes."I see. So, you're not trying to cause problems, you're just... misunderstood? Alright, I'll try to understand then," I said. "Maybe we can be friends?"The ghost slipped away, back into the bookshelves, but a moment later I saw it peek out to stare at me again, further away this time.Curious, I started to follow it. I had to let my friends know too, but it was hard enough communicating now when it was just me and the ghost. I made sure my Cleaning magic was well-restrained and followed the ghost deeper into the stacks.I continued to follow the spectral figure, moving deeper into the maze-like bookstore. The ghost seemed cautious, perhaps even a bit wary, but it didn't try to scare me off or attack me. Instead, it continued to lead me through the aisles, often disappearing into the shelves only to reappear a few steps ahead of me after a short pause.After what felt like an eternity, we finally reached a particularly dark and musty corner of the store. The spectral figure hovered near a bookshelf filled with ancient, leather-bound volumes. It swayed, and a dozen books spilled to the ground.“Uh,” I said as I started to read the titles, but these were all textbooks on different subjects, and unless it wanted to talk about math...Then the ghost reached into the shelf with a spectral arm and pulled out a single book that didn’t seem to belong. Not a leather-bound tome, but instead a notebook that looked much younger, and more beaten.I picked it up slowly, then flipped it open. Lavinia’s To Be Read List, the first page read.Then there was a list.A very long list, it went on for the first thirty or so pages of the notebook, with several dozen of the titles crossed out. Some even had little reviews, like “Okay,” or “Re-read when I forget,” and one said “Convince Thorne to read, she’ll cry.”The notebook seemed pretty mundane otherwise, except for one thing. Some of the titles were crossed out with something that wasn’t ink. A faint, glowing line of something ghostly and spectral.I looked up, searching for the ghost, but it was nowhere to be seen.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eight — Ghost Stories
Chapter Four Hundred and Eight — Ghost Stories I was careful not to let my Cleaning magic touch the notebook. I wasn’t sure if it would interact with the little ghostly lines scratched across parts of the list, and it would be rude to erase the ghost’s work.Or, instead of calling it the ghost’s notebook, maybe I should have called it Lavinia’s; that seemed to be the name of the person who owned it, and who I suspected quite strongly was the ghost.I glanced around the nook I was in, then nodded my head. “Alright. Can I show this to someone? Or someones? I think they’d like to know what you’re up to, and maybe... well, maybe we can work things out in a nice, friendly way.”A book slid forwards on one of the shelves, just enough that I noticed it without the book clattering to the floor, which was probably for the best, since it seemed a little old. The Gratitude of Ser Hawke, read the title, which I decided to translate into a simple thank-you from the ghost.It was a surprisingly nice ghost, all said.Really, what had it done that was so bad? Sure, it made a bit of a mess, but someone being a bit of a mess wasn’t a reason to say that they didn’t deserve some friends too.With the notebook in hand, I started to navigate out of the corner I was in, only I think I took a wrong turn at some point. The building was, I suspected, a bit bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, because I ended up walking much deeper into the stacks than I should have been able to. I even had to use Proportion Distortion once to squeeze through a corridor that narrowed and narrowed down until it was too small for a human-sized person to walk through.The books in that smaller section were all sized for mousefolk, which was an interesting discovery. Of course they’d write books that small for themselves. It probably saved a lot on paper and ink costs.Eventually, I had to ask Lavinia for help, and the ghost helpfully pointed me along the right passages, through a rotating wall, and down a spiral staircase that brought me back to the mezzanine where my friends were.Amaryllis and Caprica were deep in the ghostly literature section, and as I approached, they both looked up from the book they were studying. “I found the ghost,” I announced.“Oh, good, you killed it,” Amaryllis said with a nod.“Um... not exactly,” I said.She sighed. “Did you befriend the ghost we were supposed to kill, Broccoli?”I grinned, unrepentant, and raised the notebook. “I got this from them.”Amaryllis and Caprica took the notebook and started to go through it carefully. “This isn’t so old,” Caprica said.“What do you mean?” I asked.“The notebook. The paper’s not yellowed, the ink hasn’t faded. Look, this book here." She tapped an entry on the first page of Lavinia's notebook, written in mortal ink. "This one came out while I was still in school. I remember seeing it new. It’s a Sylph book, maybe five or six years old. By the time the book made it to Inkwren... call it four years ago?”“Oh! So the person that wrote the notebook only died a few years ago, then,” I said with a nod. That was a good deduction on Caprica’s part.“This just looks like a list of books someone wanted to read,” Amaryllis said. “Why would the ghost give you this?”“I think it’s maybe why they’re a ghost in the first place,” I said.Amaryllis’ brows drew together, and she let go of the notebook to reach for one of the tomes they’d been pouring over before. “We did discover that there are several types of ghosts. Or at least, experts in that field decided to classify different ghosts into different categories.”“Alright,” I said. “And what do you think Lavinia is?”“We thought that they were a poltergeist originally. Now, keep in mind that the person who wrote this clearly used artificial categories for the different types of spirits right next to actual World-given categories.”I blinked. “What’s the difference?” I asked.Amaryllis hummed. “Easy to forget that you’re not from around here, sometimes,” she said. “Alright, think about it like this. Let’s say you suddenly decided that you want to take up blacksmithing as a career, or just as a hobby.”“Uh, alright,” I said. I could imagine that, at least as a hypothetical.“Would that make you a blacksmith?” she asked.“I... guess?”She nodded. “It would, insofar as you do the task and know what you’re doing. But you wouldn’t have a Blacksmithing, or a Blacksmithing-adjacent class. You won’t have skills to help you with your work. If Awen picked up the same hobby, she would probably be better because she has supporting skills, but neither of you would hold a candle to someone with an actual Blacksmithing class. So, in that case, we can broadly categorise people into three spaces. People who do something without assistance, people who do something and have skills that assist them, and people who do it and have a supporting class.”I got it so far. “But what’s that got to do with, you know, the ghost?”“Right,” she said. “Well, ghost hunters and people who study that kind of spirit have categories that they put ghosts and spirits into. Ancestor spirits, benign ghosts, poltergeists, malevolent spirits, and things like wraiths.”“Alright,” I said. “And not all of those categories are... World-defined, right? So the ghosts might not all have classes, or something?”Amaryllis smiled. “Your occasional intelligence is what makes your friendship so tolerable, Broccoli,” she said.“Thank you?”“Essentially, Caprica and I thought that the ghost was a poltergeist. Those are ghostly spirits whose passing is marked by anger and resentment. They’re usually fairly violent. In fact, most ghosts are, though they’re usually so weak that they’re a non-threat. Poltergeists, however, can catapult objects around and cause actual harm.”Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.“You didn’t think that the ghost was a wraith or anything worse?” I asked.Caprica shook her head as she finished looking at the notebook. “No. A wraith would be a lot more violent, and aggressively so. Pecorina would have had a lot more trouble on her hands if that was the case, and would likely have called on the city guard or their equivalent already.”“But Lavinia isn’t like that. They seem... actually, kind of nice, once I started talking to them.”“They were able to talk?” Amaryllis asked.“Uh, not quite. They threw books at me, but the titles told a story.”Amaryllis stared. “Are you certain? Maybe they threw one of those books hard enough that you started imagining things?” I pouted at her, and she grinned. “Fine, fine. So they can kind of communicate. That’ll make it easier to lure them into a trap.”“No,” I said. “It’ll make it easier to befriend them.”“Really?” she asked, clearly a bit exasperated.“Why not? I think they’re a ghost because they want to finish their reading list, right?”“That’s plausible,” Caprica said as she closed the notebook up and gave it back. “How ghosts are made is a subject of some debate, but generally, they appear when someone has a lot of regrets, or something they really wanted to accomplish.”“I, for example,” Amaryllis began. “Might become a ghost determined to haunt you lunatics.”“I’ll learn how to make the best ghostly tea,” I promised. It was a bit more morbid than our usual jokes, but it was still a little funny. “But... yeah, maybe instead of hurting the ghost, we can help them move on?”Amaryllis rubbed the side of a talon against her chin. “Sounds like more work than just exorcising them,” she said.Caprica shrugged. “It’ll depend on Pecorina at the end of the day. This is her bookshop, so she ought to be the one to decide.”That was true. Maybe we could relocate the ghost to another library if Pecorina didn’t want them, that would also technically fulfil the bookshop owner’s request, but if the ghost mostly wanted to stay here, then... yeah, talking to Pecorina was the right choice.“Alright,” I said as I stretched my back out with a nice pop. “Let’s head over to wherever Pecorina is, and tell her about our plan.”My friends followed me as we navigated through the easier sections of the bookstore. The bits closer to the front and more out in the open all seemed nice and straightforward. It was only when I looked down into the deeper end of the stacks that my eyes got strained and it started to feel like I was staring into the abyss.We found Pecorina on the first floor, cashing someone out at the register, but that didn’t take too long and she floated over to us, a smile on her whiskered face. “So, how goes the ghost hunt?”I was a little hesitant, but I shoved that aside. “We think we’ve found a better solution,” I said.One of Pecorina’s eyebrows shot up. “A better solution? The task might be difficult to carry out, but I don’t think it’s difficult to comprehend. Unless you’re giving up and just want to pay for the book outright?”I shook my head. “No, no, it’s just that I think I know why Lavinia is haunting your shop.”Pecorina’s breath caught. “Lavinia?” she asked.“You knew her?” I asked.For some reason, it hadn’t crossed my mind that Pecorina might know the ghost.She waved my question away. “It’s the name of an old client, one I haven’t seen in a few years. I imagined she moved on, graduated from the Academy she attended, or dropped out. People come and go all the time.”I glanced at my friends, then took the notebook from Caprica. “I think this might have been hers,” I said. “It’s the ghosts. She led me to it.”Pecorina gestured and the notebook floated out of my grasp and opened up. The pages flipped aside, one by one as she scanned them all. “Oh, the poor dear,” she said. “But why is she haunting my stacks now?”“If that list is a list of the books she wanted to read, then it’s possible that the ghost just has unfinished business,” Amaryllis said.Caprica nodded and continued where she left off. "We propose to let her stay, help her finish reading the books she wanted, and in return, she might be willing to help around the store."Pecorina was silent for a moment before breaking into a slow smile. “A bookshop with a bookghost. Though, I suspect our little ghost lacks some of the talents I’d look for in a new employee. For one, I generally only hire people who are corporeal.”I held back a giggle at that. It was a bit strange. “Ah, but I think I could negotiate it so that Lavania will work for books.”“Books are hardly cheap, you know,” she said.“Well, she’d hardly need to keep them forever,” I said with a gesture to the notebook. “Just long enough to read, and then, well, then she might pass on.”“She might make for a good security measure as well,” Pecorina muttered.“Oh, and she helped guide me through the bookshelves. I got a little lost.”Pecorina nodded. “That’s quite common. I usually send pamphlets with maps after any wayward customers if they don't emerge after a while. Having a ghostly guide might be even better. Very well! Have you spoken to Lavinia about this?”“Sorta?” I said. “Um... come on, if we find her, we can explain things. I bet she wouldn’t mind.”“An introduction…” Pecorina mused. "It sounds fair. Should we gather some of her favourite titles for her? A kind of... housewarming gift?"“Library-warming, more like,” Caprica corrected with a chuckle, earning an eye roll from Amaryllis.“Yes, I think that would be lovely,” I agreed. “I’m sure she’d appreciate it.”
* * *
Cinnamon Bun Volume Five is Out!
Kinda hyped! But yeah, Volume Five is finally out on Amazon and on Audible! Figured now was a good time to let everybun know!
Even with the world on the brink of war, Broccoli Bunch’s bright spirit shines through the darkness, bringing hope and friendship to those who need it most.
Following a simple yet powerful philosophy, Broccoli Bunch shows kindness and honesty to everyone she meets. She always sees the best in people, regardless of who they are, where they come from, and what they’ve done. Her beliefs have won over even the most skeptical and rigid warriors and leaders, making her the perfect builder of bridges between the diverse diplomats attending the peace summit in the kingdom of Sylphfree.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Accompanied by her friends—and fellow Exploration Guild adventurers—Amaryllis and Awen, Broccoli’s eternal optimism is put to the test when she finds herself playing politics. Meeting with suspicious sylphs, cervids, grenoils, and harpies who all harbor ill feelings toward one another and believe war to be inevitable may be disheartening for most, but Broccoli proves she’s up to the challenge of championing the value of fellowship.
But there’s a warmonger in their midst. The shapeshifting riftwalker Rainnewt has been sowing discord throughout the realm. Once the various species destroy one another, he can purge the Evil Roots corrupting the land and remake the world in his own image.
And since the disagreeable diplomats refuse to believe they’re being manipulated, Broccoli must convince Rainnewt to abandon his plan and let her cleaning magic wilt the Evil Roots without inciting war. But when Broccoli confronts the fiendish flora, she will come face to face with her greatest fear . . .
Chapter Four Hundred and Nine — The Phantom of the Bookshop
Chapter Four Hundred and Nine — The Phantom of the Bookshop Now that we more or less knew what we wanted to say to the ghost, we only had one finally, itty-bitty problem. And that was actually speaking to her. Levina tended to pop up and appear as she wanted.Still, I did have a small idea. “Do you have a reading room? Or somewhere quiet where we can set something up?” I asked Pecorina.The mouse tugged on her whiskers the way a man might tug on his moustache. “I have a few small reading nooks upstairs. This is a bookstore, not a library, but some people still choose to treat it as such.” She shook her head, but seemed mostly amused by it.I suspected that Pecorina didn’t really mind, not as long as nobody pushed it too far. She led us to one of the spiral staircases, where we found Calamity and Awen waiting with a small stack of books. They didn't look like they had anything to do with ghosts, not unless they were ghosts in a machine.“This store’s weird,” Calamity said. “It’s like a dungeon or something. You can keep walking in any direction until you ought to be on the other side of the street, or in one of the buildings nearby, but it’s all just more bookshop.”“Yes,” Pecorina said. “We have a very nice collection here.”“That’s not what I meant,” Calamity said. “This place is way bigger than it ought to be.”“And yet I still can’t find a place for some of the books I have,” Pecorina said before dismissing Calamity. I guess she didn’t want to answer his unasked ‘how?’ “So, Captain Bunch, you said you had an idea for attracting the ghost?”“Well, we have her notebook. So she’s probably going to want that back. Do you think you could find some of the unread books on her list real fast?”“I can, yes,” Pecorina said.“Perfect! So, we’ll have those for negotiation, and then we hope that she shows up for them, and that’s when we give her the offer,” I said with a nod. It was a simple plan, but I had high hopes for it!Pecorina seemed amused by the idea, but she didn’t say no to it. “Very well, can I see that notebook again for a moment?” After checking the list for just a few seconds, she nodded, then snapped her fingers, and a few books came floating up from the front of the store and hovered after her. “Lavina seems to have a taste for... romance.”“Romance is popular, I bet,” I said.“Yes, well, this particular sort is no less popular, but it’s nonetheless the sort that not everyone will be caught reading out in public. Though, I suppose there’s a market for it at Mitytea Academy.”“Oh, we’re not from the Academy,” I said.“Hmm, you’re not?” she asked. She didn’t sound surprised at all.“Nope. We just had to sneak in there for another task we had, so we got all dressed up for the occasion. Usually I wear a lot more armour.”“Mercenaries, then?” she asked.Amaryllis huffed, and I shook my head. “We’re Explorers!”She eyed us all interestingly, then shrugged and floated the notebook back over to me. "Very well. I'll collect some of the other titles on this list, then I suggest you set up in the reading room on the third floor. It's quiet and out of the way. I'll bring the books there shortly." The few she’d collected already were floated over to Caprica, who scooped them out of the air, then started to read the titles.Caprica’s cheeks warmed up, and Calamity glanced over them too, only to snort. “No wonder the ghost’s making itself scarce. So, what’s the plan right now?”I explained things to Calamity and Awen while we made our way up to the third floor reading room. It was a cozy space filled with soft armchairs and couches, the walls lined with shelves crammed with books. In the centre of the room was a large wooden table covered in soft lamplight.We arranged ourselves around the table and waited. I flipped through the pages of Lavinia’s notebook, hoping that I had been right about her. What if she was just another poltergeist, out to scare people for no reason? I couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something different about Lavinia, though. She seemed more like a sad, lonely soul rather than a vengeful spirit.Out of curiosity, I picked up the stack of books from her list on the table and read through the titles. The Curious Cases of the Velvet Glove sounded like a mystery novel more than a romance, and The Sassy Sausages of Sir Sebastian felt like a comedy title. Was Unravelling the Undergarments of the Unicorn Queen a historical text?I opened one of them to start reading it, but Amaryllis carefully plucked it from my hands and set it back down. “Here, read one of Awen’s books instead,” she said as she reached for Awen’s pile. Then she froze as she picked up a book between a manual and a thick text that seemed to be about airship maintenance. That little book was called The Enticing Eggs of the East.Amaryllis looked at Awen, and Awen seemed laser-focused on the floor.“You know what, how about we just talk instead,” Amaryllis suggested.I wanted to talk about that book. Amaryllis seemed to recognize it. Was it about harpy? They came in eggs.After a while, Pecorina floated into the room, levitating a stack of books. She set them down on the table and gave us a small smile. "I found some of the books from Lavinia's list. Now what?"“Thank you!” I said. “I guess we lay them out and hope that she passes by.” I set the books, one by one, onto the table.It wasn’t long before I felt a cold breeze pass through the room, causing the pages of the books to rustle slightly. I looked around, feeling a chill run up my spine. I noticed my friends tensing up as well, and Calamity looked like he really wanted his bow just then.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.Had that worked? Just fetching the books she wanted? Or... maybe Lavinia was in the room already, waiting for us to find her books for her. If I could go intangible and had basically given someone a task, I’d be a little bit tempted to follow them too.Lavinia didn’t make us wait for long. A low moan filled the room, echoing in the quiet space and causing my hair to stand on end. The flame of the lamp flickered violently, casting dancing shadows against the books on the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a faintly glowing figure materialise next to the table.She did look a little feminine, though it was hard to tell.Some of the ghosts I’d seen looked very much like people, and others seemed more like wispy clouds of faintly-glowing magic. Lavinia was somewhere in the middle, not quite shapeless, but hard to define.“Lavinia,” I started, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. “We’ve got your books.”The ghostly figure paused, its glowing eyes focused on the books. A spectral hand reached out to touch one of them, passing through the pages. Then, slowly, the hand solidified enough to flip the book open.I noticed that my friends were staring intently at the ghost and... was Calamity hiding from it behind Caprica’s chair?"Lavinia," I said, breaking the silence. "These are the books you were looking for. Or, some of them, anyway. We thought you might like to have them. Also, we wanted to discuss something with you. Pecorina could use your help around the bookstore."The ghost was quiet, spectral eyes flicking back and forth between me and the books. Then, it shot off into the maze of shelves. It returned with a book clutched in its ghostly hand, titled The Assistant's Almanac..I blinked, then laughed. “I guess that's a yes, then. You'll assist Pecorina here with the bookstore operations, and in return, you get to read all the books you like, and people will stop trying to exorcize you. Does that sound good?”The ghost paused, then vanished once again. When she reappeared, she had another book. This one was called The Silent Agreement. It was an affirmative response, in its own ghostly way.Pecorina crossed her arms and looked quite imperious as she hovered at shoulder-height. "However, there are a few ground rules," she declared, then she started counting off on her paws. "First, no misplacing books in the wrong sections. Second, no frightening the customers. And third, I expect you to work with a certain decorum. Being dead is no excuse for being late to work, not even if you found something to read. Can we agree on that?" She hovered a bit higher, challenging the spectre.The ghost seemed cowed, floating down and into the floor a little. Then she disappeared, and I was worried that Pecorina had scared her off.She came back though, this time with another book that looked a bit old and tattered. The Good Girl’s Guide to Good Manners.Pecorina seemed satisfied with this response, a small smile creeping onto her face. Lavinia swooshed through the room, and the books she’d brought out to communicate with all flew back to their places on the shelves.Was she eager to get back to work? They hadn't actually worked out pay, or vacation, healthcare and benefits, and I was starting to think that maybe there wasn’t a union for working ghosts either.“You won’t work her too hard, right?” I asked Pecorina.Pecorina chuckled, a soft, warm sound. "I'm not a monster, Captain Bunch. A library is a sanctuary. Usually it’s for the living to see the words of the dead, but I suppose going at it in the other direction’s only fair. As long as Lavinia respects the rules, she can read all the books she wants in her downtime.""Then it's settled!" I exclaimed. I felt a small rush of relief.In front of us, Lavinia, still glowing with an ethereal light, seemed to nod her agreement, the books floating around her as though excited to be read. In that moment, I felt an odd sense of satisfaction. We’d accomplished something... well, not big here, but still something that felt important, even if it was just for someone who wasn’t around anymore.I wondered if Lavinia had ever thought that her love for books would lead to her afterlife's occupation. It seemed strange and yet, perfectly fitting for a ghost haunting a bookstore.Our steps were a little lighter as we wandered back to the second floor. The strange bookstore non-dungeon seemed to warp and shift around us, but somehow, it felt more welcoming than before. Maybe it was just knowing that there was one less sad ghost in the world.“Wait! Pecorina, we forgot to get that book,” I remembered.“No, Broccoli, you forgot the book,” Amaryllis said. “I remember it very well. As well as that promised discount....”Pecorina sniffed, but she still smiled as she led us through a labyrinth of shelves, finally unveiling the grand leather-bound volume of The Art of Being Majestic, the gold lettering of the title shimmering under the warm magelight.“A parting gift for your successful ghost hunting. And, of course, for the assistance you provided me today,” Pecorina said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Ten percent off.”“What!” Amaryllis squawked. “That’s it?”“Technically, the ghost is still here,” Pecorina said.Amaryllis looked a bit red at that. “How much is it, exactly?”“Hmm, Twenty-two gold pieces. Local Inkwren gold, but I can convert most currencies for you... for a price.”What if I told you we got a good word from Miss Cottage?" Amaryllis asked."Hm," Pecorina raised an eyebrow. "I suppose that chops off another percent."I settled down on my heels, because from the look on Amaryllis' face and the glint in Caprica’s eyes, we were going to be here for some time still.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ten — Booking it After Negotiating
Chapter Four Hundred and Ten — Booking it After Negotiating It took some time to get the price down to an amount that satisfied Amaryllis and Caprica. I wasn’t quite as invested in the negotiations as they were, but I did pitch in to try and help when I could.The price Pecorina had quoted was... well, it was a lot. More than an explorer probably made in several months, if I were to guess. Though it had been a while since I’d had a hard time with money.I supposed I was very lucky there. Preventing wars, saving kings and fixing up dungeons had paid pretty well so far, so I wasn’t too concerned about our finances, especially with Amaryllis holding a tight leash on the pursestrings.She wasn’t going to let those go for a book, not one that seemed so expensive.Pecorina, for her part, seemed to mostly want to haggle for the sake of haggling, and she was very good at it. She went on about how rare the book was, its incredible, mint condition, how much Booksie would love it, and sometimes when she was done, I was convinced that she was being generous in not charging us twice as much. That feeling only lasted until Caprica scoffed and returned fire, pointing out little scuffs on the cover, the scorched edges of the latter pages, and how it hadn't sold yet so it couldn't be worth that muchIn the end, the book was down to about a quarter of its original price. (A sum that was still quite high. I think it was about four times as much as the room in the hotel we’d booked for the night, and that was a really nice room.)Once hands and talons were shook over the final price, Pecorina floated the massive book up and then wrapped it up in several thick layers of canvas and cloth which she cinched up with a little bow.She also packaged up Awen’s own books. Those didn’t come with any real negotiations. Pecorina quoted a price, Awen stuttered a bit, but she reached into her coin purse and started counting coins. Then Pecorina rolled her eyes and quoted a second, much lower price.I held back a giggle at the exchange. Pecorina was nice.Something told me that Lavinia would be just fine.With a heave, Calamity slung the big book up onto his back like the world's biggest, most unwieldy backpack. We thanked Pecorina for her time, while she hurriedly penned a small letter of introduction for Booksie. (Pecorina seemed interested in becoming penpals with another bookstore owner.) With that done, we headed back out onto the streets of Inkwren.It was surprising how late it had become as we stepped out.How many hours had we spent in the bookstore? It only felt like one or two... or maybe three or four? I had kind of lost track of time with no sunlight to help. In any case, the city was busier than it had been earlier in the day. It felt like the final manic energy of early evening. People were heading home, stopping by the grocers and bakery and butchers to pick up something to eat. There were a lot of students out, every pub we passed seemed packed to the brim.The hotel was a bit quieter. On entering, a harpy in a manservant’s outfit approached us, bowed, and then led us to the elevators where we rode up to the floor where Valerian was staying.He was pacing by the entrance when we slipped into his apartments. The harpy jumped, then glanced over us all. “You made it back! Fantastic! I was entirely too worried about whether or not you’d made it. Did you deliver the letter? How was my dear Cottage?”“Hello, Valerian,” Amaryllis said. “It went... actually, surprisingly well. We didn’t encounter any real trouble. And yes, Cottage was fine.”“Haha! Joyous day!” Valerian said. He pulled Amaryllis into another hug, then he did the same for me and then all of my other friends. “You must stay for the evening and tell me everything. My chef will prepare a meal fit for a king and you can tell me about Cottage and the school. Did she look well? Is she eating enough? Is her wit still rapier-sharp?”My friends and I shared a look, and it was Calamity that made up the choice for us. “I could eat,” he said. “Besides, I want to get changed.”“Right, these uniforms will have to go,” Amaryllis agreed. “But before that. Cottage penned a reply to your letter. Here.” She pulled out Cottage’s letter, and it was snatched away from her in a hurry by a grinning Valerian.“Oh! Spectacular! Thank you, lady Albatross. You may consider the Hawk family in your debt for this.”“Oh, I will,” Amaryllis purred. She sounded more like a cat than a bird right then.All of our gear was folded away in Valerian’s massive closet, so we took our time changing out of the Mitytea Academy uniforms and back into our normal clothes. It was nice being back in my normal clothes.Calamity especially seemed happy to be back in his vest and trousers. “I don’t care what kind of mess we get in, I’m not dressing as a girl again,” he said.I patted him on the shoulder. “We’ll try not to get into too many situations where that’ll come up,” I promised.Calamity snorted, but he didn’t seem in that bad of a mood. Mostly he looked like he thought it was funny.With everyone all dressed up, we joined Valerian in his dining room where a few appetisers were already being set out for us to nibble on. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I smelled the fresh food and my tummy decided to start grumbling because it didn’t have that food in it.Valerian was looking quite flushed, and he was clinging to Cottage’s letter in a way that suggested that he wasn’t about to let go of it for a while. I could almost see the hearts radiating off of him.The appetisers were delicious. Smoked blue cod atop crisp bread, skewers of grilled vegetables, and a selection of exotic cheeses. As we nibbled and chatted about the day’s events, Valerian's eyes remained locked on Cottage's letter, reading it over and over, a sentimental smile playing on his lips.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.Our main course was a big platter of roasted meats, creamed potatoes, and a vibrant array of salads. Valerian had told his chef about the different species he’d invited over for dinner, so the chef had made a wide array of things so that everyone had something to enjoy.The wine flowed freely too, though I didn’t try any past giving Amaryllis’ cup a sniff. As the evening progressed, we took turns telling Valerian of our adventures and impressions of the Academy and of course, of Cottage. He listened with rapt attention, occasionally interrupting to ask for more specific details or share his own stories.After the meal, with tummies bloated full and happy, we said goodnight and goodbye to Valerian. There was another round of hugs before we grabbed our gear and left. We navigated around the hotel until we found our less-opulent rooms.It was still a nice suite, with plush carpets and a warm living space. I found myself looking over Inkwren from a window. The hotel was only a few stories tall, but it still afforded a spectacular view of the city.It was strange, seeing a city like this, but knowing that I wouldn’t have a ton of time to explore it.Well, not right now. I smiled. One day, maybe! There were so many cool places to visit and see on Dirt, at the pace we were moving I’d get to snoop in on all of them, at least for a little bit. Then maybe we could go back and revisit the neatest places!As we retired for the night, I took a moment to appreciate the comforting murmur of the city, the low whisper of conversation from the rooms around us, and the pleasant fatigue setting in from a day well-spent.When I woke up, sunlight was already streaming in through the windows. I could hear birdsong from outside and the low hum of activity beginning to stir in the city below. I stretched my arms and legs and ears out until they trembled, then got out of bed and moved to the window, taking in the morning view of Inkwren. The city was coming to life, merchants opening their stores, people heading to work, and the occasional clatter of a carriage passing by.We had a quick breakfast at the hotel before heading out onto the busy streets of Inkwren.The atmosphere was more vibrant than the previous evening; there was a sense of urgency in the air that spoke of the day's potential. We moved with the flow of the crowd, dodging vendors and pedestrians, making our way across the city.We were heading in the rough direction of the docks, but since we weren’t in too much of a hurry, we stopped by a few shops, nosing around and checking out nick-knacks. Calamity had us stopping by every-other street vendor to grab more snacks for the road, and I wasn’t sure where he was stuffing it all.I could see why Inkwren was known as a city of academics. There were teashops on nearly every corner, and we ran across a few small scuffles on the street. Mostly it was between groups from different academies, and they were... not exactly violent? Instead, they’d be arguing about some magical theory or about some history text, with lots of gesticulating and arm waving and even some shouting.The people here were very enthusiastic about their academia.After hours of journeying through the city, we finally reached the airship docks. The Beaver Cleaver was parked in place, and I could make out the silhouettes of the crew leisurely making the ship ready to go.“Where are we going next?” I asked Amaryllis as we entered the docks proper.“Do you not pay attention to the maps?” she asked.I shrugged. “A bit. But I’ve hardly memorised them.”“Either Walker’s Rest, or Smoulderglen,” Amaryllis said. “We’ll go over the choices once we’re ready to depart. Awen, did you need any more equipment before we headed out?”“Ah! Um, Clive said he’d take care of refuelling, but I do want to give the Beaver another inspection before we head out. I think the rudder has a bit of looseness to it? It might just be something that needs tightening. But I still have a list of things I want. I think we can get most of it nearby though.”“Do you need help with it?” I asked.“Oda and Steve and Gordon volunteered to help,” she said. “Give me two, maybe three hours?”I nodded along. “Then let’s try to aim for an afternoon launch. Maybe before lunch? It’ll be hard to do ship stuff while in a post-lunch daze.”My plans rammed into a wall as a small group rushed out from hiding and came to stand before us, blocking our path to the Beaver. They were all students of one of the academies. Or at least, they wore the robes. Six of them, and one familiar mousefolk person was riding on the middlemost student’s shoulder.“Halt!” Adjunct-professor Cornelius said. The little mousefolk seemed exceptionally proud of himself as he got us all to come to a stop. His students spread out around him, and I noticed that they were all holding staffs. Then I looked a bit closer and noticed that they were yardsticks, not staffs.“Hi,” I said. “Can we help you?”“You can, by submitting to the law! Did you think that Inkwren would allow you to so easily smuggle books out of the city?” he asked.“We have receipts,” Amaryllis snapped.The mousefolk blinked. “Pardon?”“What, you thought we stole these? We purchased them with good gold, obviously we have proof of purchase. And if we didn’t, then you should have brought a lot more students.”“We outnumber you,” he said, ignoring her counterargument and launching a different attack“You don’t outlevel us,” Amaryllis pointed out. “And our airship is right there, and it’s designed for hunting pirates. Honestly, did you do any thinking before trying to set up this little ambush?”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eleven — Charting a Course
Chapter Four Hundred and Eleven — Charting a Course It took longer to get to the Beaver than we thought it would, mostly because Cornelius insisted on looking through our stuff and Amaryllis insisted that he would absolutely not.Calamity only splashed oil on the fire by constantly reminding us how hungry he was while licking his lips and looking at the little mousefolk professor.Eventually, though, we did make it onboard the Beaver, much to the adjunct professor’s disappointment.“Welcome back aboard, Cap’n,” Oda said. He was working on a knot in a long length of rope sitting on his lap. “Things went well?”“Yeah,” I said as I crossed the gangplank. “Things went pretty alright. It was more of a side-adventure than anything else though. I think we’re looking forward to moving on.”Oda glanced up, then set the rope aside and bounced to his feet. “Alright! I’ll go get Sally and Joe.”Clive was smoking his pipe on the poop deck, and Steve and Gordon were playing cards on the bow, but as my friends and I climbed aboard the pipe was stuffed and the cards set down. “Are we heading out, captain?” Clive asked.“Yup! As soon as we’re ready to take off!” I called back. We still had stuff to do, of course, Calamity and Awen went to put the books we’d gotten away, and Caprica went to get changed into something more suitable for deck work.Amaryllis, meanwhile, tugged me along towards the officer’s cabin under the wheel. “We need to decide on where to go next, preferably before we fly off in the wrong direction for an hour.”“Right,” I said. Besides, I had to change into my Captain’s Hat before I started Captaining.Amaryllis cleared the desk, then unrolled a map onto its surface. It was a more local map of the Independent Cities and the western side of the Harpy Mountains. Our trajectory so far was easy to map, from the north where the map cut off near the borders of the Snowlands to Codwood, then all the way down to Inkwren. Our goal was barely on the map at all, at the very bottom right. Port Royal, where Booksie was staying.Amaryllis traced a straight line from Inkwren to Port Royal. “We can’t just fly straight there. Unless the winds were in our favour the entire time, and that’s very unlikely. The wind currents on the western side of the Harpy Mountains are tricky at the best of times.”“Right, so we need to stop somewhere to refuel.”“We might not have a choice but to stop at Cherryhold. It’s a fort that blocks off the entire valley between the southern tip of the Harpy Mountains and the Seven Points. There are ways through the mountains, but they’re a little harder to navigate.”I nodded along. “Can we make it from here to Cherryhold?”Amaryllis rubbed a talon against her jaw. “Maybe. It might be a bit far. Again, it would depend on the wind and how fuel efficient the Beaver flies. If we move with little engine power and don’t mind coasting for a long time, then sure, we’ll make it there with some fuel to spare. We flew much further than this before, we can manage it. But I’d rather not have to.”She reached down and tapped two cities that were closer than Cherryhold, then somewhat reluctantly touched a third. “Walker’s Rest is the nearest, but it’s hard to navigate to, and it really is just a small city, barely more than an upjumped town. It’s Harpy Mountain territory-so familiar, at least to me-but we might still have some political difficulty.”“Because of the Albatross?” I asked. Amaryllis’ family were pretty big there, weren’t they?“No, not because of me or my family, because of the princess.”“Oh,” I said. That made a bit more sense. There was a heap of animosity between the Harpy Mountains and Sylphfree. Bringing the princess of Sylphfree over might... well, cause some issues that I hadn’t thought about. “Smoulderglen’s the second option,” I said, staring at the map.“Smoulderglen, the Flame Mage City, is more or less on the path over, and it’s independent. But it’s got a reputation for being somewhat less civilised than, say, Inkwren.”“I think we can manage that,” I said with a nod.Amaryllis shrugged. “If you say so. I’d almost rather try for our third option. But that one might have issues of its own.” Her talon trailed down a ways, then paused somewhere where we’d been before.Greenshade. Awen’s home.“Ah, that’s... an option, huh?”“It’s far, so by the time we get there, we’ll have well under half a tank of fuel left. But we can reach it relatively easily. The question then is more about our reception once we arrive.”“And if Awen would want us to go there at all,” I added. Awen had... issues with her family. We couldn’t sneak in either, not with the Beaver being... well, so obviously the Beaver.The sort that led to her parents sending pirates to kidnap her. Which was pretty scummy, overall.Amaryllis and I stared at the map, each lost in our thoughts. The silence of the cabin was comfortable, a counterpoint to the low murmurs of the crew outside. I looked up and glanced over at Amaryllis. “Alright, we’ve got three options. Walker’s Rest, Smoulderglen, and Greenshade. I think... Smoulderglen might be our best bet. It’s not too far out of the way, and if we refuel there, do you think we’ll be able to fly all the way to Port Royal in one go?”“We should be able to, yes.”I stared at the little icon representing Smoulderglen. As the captain, my choices didn’t just affect me, but all of my friends and the Beaver itself. That was kind of intimidating, but I couldn’t let that bother me too much. “I’ll ask Clive later if he knows anything about Smoulderglen too,” I muttered, mostly to myself.Clive had heaps more experience than any of us when it came to travelling around. It made sense to at least ask.Standing up from the desk, I took a deep breath. It looked like we had a destination, then. Time to tell the others! I gave Amaryllis a nod and headed out the door, switching my regular hat for the Captain's Hat.I found Clive on the deck, still puffing away on his pipe. He had a distant look in his eyes, gazing out at the airship port. He had travelled a lot, more than anyone else on the crew, and his insights usually proved invaluable.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings."Clive," I began as I approached him. "We're thinking about heading to Smoulderglen. You ever been there?"Clive took a long puff on his pipe, letting the smoke billow out around his face before answering. "Aye, Captain. Been there a few times in my younger years. A rough place, full of tough folks and tougher mages. But they're fair, in their own way."“Rough how?” I asked.He rubbed the backside of a talon against his chin. “They’re less of what Miss Albatross would call civilised. Honest to a fault, kind when they wanna, not so kind when they don’t. There’s some good folk there but just as many rotten apples. It’s a city where being strong counts for a lot.”I considered his words for a moment before giving a decisive nod. "That's where we're headed then. You okay with that?"He chuckled, patting the railing of the ship fondly. "The Beaver's been to worse places, Captain. We'll manage."I couldn’t help but smile. The Beaver had been through a few tough spots. He was a good ship! Leaving Clive to his pipe, I moved across the deck, rallying the crew. "Alright, folks! Time to ready the ship. We're heading to Smoulderglen!"I saw Awen’s head pop up from behind the railing of the poop deck. “Ah!” she said.“Is everything alright?” I called down.Awen’s head disappeared, then she climbed over the edge rather awkwardly. “Everything’s perfect, Broc! Let me pull up my swing and stow my tools and I’ll be ready to go!”Oda jogged over, helping Awen carry a toolbox back down to the engineering section while Sally screamed down a hatch for Joe to come up and join her. Calamity, meanwhile, ran after Steve, trailing a long rope behind him as he tried to help.The ship began to hum with life, the slow buildup of energy palpable. I took a moment to breathe it in, the tension and the excitement of taking off. This was my crew, my ship, my home. And it felt good.The wind tugged at my captain’s hat as I made my way up to the deck. Already we were casting off some of the restraints keeping the ship in place and with the engine on we were starting to hover a little bit out of our landing pad.With a final check to make sure everyone was on board and ready, I grabbed the wheel. "Prepare for takeoff!" I called out, my voice echoing across the deck.Clive tapped out his pipe against the side of a bell, tolling a warning to any nearby ships, then he started to make his way over to me, entirely unbothered by the shifting of the deck under his feet.A deep thrum resonated through my soles as I gave the engine a bit more gas.We began to rise.Inkwren slowly disappeared beneath us, and with a quick spin of the wheel and a few adjustments of the sails, we left the city on a southbound route, towards the distant Smoulderglen.I hung onto the wheel as activity on deck calmed down. Now that we were in the air, there wasn’t all that much to do. The weather was a bit windy, but not enough so to be a bother, and the sun was shining on a cloudless afternoon. Other than stowing ropes, the crew had time to relax.Maybe that was why Sally came up next to the wheel, then lingered a few paces away. “Is everything alright?” I asked her.“Yeah, of course, cap’n Bunch,” she said. It still felt a little strange to be called captain, especially by Sally and the Scallywags, who were just a bit younger than I was.“What’s up?” I asked. It didn’t take a genius to figure that she was lingering here for a reason.She seemed to mull over things for a bit before meeting my eyes. “I love it here,” she said. “I love the crew, and the Beaver and spending time with my friends. We’ve all levelled a bunch, and are better fed than we ever were in Needleford.”“That’s good,” I said with an encouraging nod.“But...” she paused, fidgeting with one of the lapels of her new coat. “I’m still trying to figure things out.”"Like what?" I asked, my tone soft.She shuffled her feet a bit, looking down at the deck. "I guess... I just don't want to let anyone down. I want to be useful to the crew and do my part. But sometimes... we’re not as good as you guys.”“Huh?”“You, and your friends. Even that new guy, Calamity? We’re not as good, are we?”“You mean the Scallywags?” I asked. “I don’t get it.”“The princess was one thing,” she said. “She’s a princess. And Amaryllis is a lady, and Awen’s a lady too. Makes sense that the princess would be good at things too. But then you pick up Calamity, and he’s just a normal bloke, but he’s so much better than we are too. We’re getting better, I guess, but it feels like... like we’re just some seagulls pecking at the tail of dragons, thinking that we share the same sky.”I frowned slightly at her words. My friends and I were probably stronger than Sally and the Scallywags. We'd been adventuring for longer, had faced more dangerous trials, and had the levels to show for it.That didn't mean Sally and her friends were lesser than us. They were important parts of our crew."Sally," I said as I turned the wheel slightly to adjust our course. "Strength isn't just about how well you can fight or how many spells you can cast. Strength comes from a lot of things. It comes from loyalty, from courage, from the determination to keep going no matter what. From having good friends. And in those things, you and the Scallywags are no less than any of us, because you’re our friends, which means that our strength is yours too.""But we're still lower level than you. We can't do as much.""That's true." I nodded. "But that's just how it is. You're newer to adventuring than us. That doesn't mean you're worth less. We all have our roles on the ship, Sally, and everyone is important. The Beaver wouldn't fly without Awen. It’d be covered in mean rodents without Orange, and we’d probably have crashed into a mountain by now without Clive. Everyone contributes in their own way. You are just as much a part of this crew as anyone else. And as for getting stronger... well, that comes with time and experience. You'll get there."Sally was quiet for a moment, her eyes flicking across the deck where her friends were laughing and joking as they worked. "You really believe that, Cap'n?""With all my heart," I said sincerely.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twelve — Sunset Over Smoulderglen
Chapter Four Hundred and Twelve — Sunset Over Smoulderglen I could feel the wind rushing across my bunny ears (having extra bundles of nerves on top of my head still managed to be thrilling, even after all these adventures) and tugging at my captain’s hat hard enough that I was almost worried it would get snatched away.I was at the wheel, having taken over from Clive who’d taken his turn this morning already. We were two days out from Inkwren, and more or less on course to reach Smoulderglen sometime that evening, at least according to Amaryllis.The crew was mostly resting. Awen was tinkering with her turret, Calamity was on the deck showing Caprica how to fire trickshots with a bow, and Amaryllis was sunbathing.My attention wavered over to the Scallywags, however. The three of them were sitting right on the deck, shielded from the wind by the ramps near the front, and they were playing cards together. Sally was smiling.There were a thousand things to worry about as captain, but if I could make my crew feel valued and understood, then at least I was doing something right.Clusters of cotton-ball clouds hung around, sailing alongside us, as if racing to see who could reach Smoulderglen first. I saw birds-hawks, maybe?-soaring beneath us, their cries swallowed by the distance and the thump of our propeller. There was a certain kind of beauty in flying. The wind was not just a sensation-it was freedom, it was adventure.I really had to learn some sort of flight magic. It had to exist, right? I knew that Feather Fall was a spell. If a mage could make themselves fall slower, then it wouldn’t be that much of a leap to imagine that they’d figure out how to stop falling entirely. And if they could stand still in the air, they’d just be a bounce away from flight!I was still daydreaming about being the world’s first flying bun when Clive came to take the wheel. “Smoulderglen’s not far,” he said before using the stem of his pipe to point to the east. “See that river there? That one starts right by Walker’s Rest.”“So it starts at the Harpy Mountains and leads all the way to here?” I asked.“Mhm. Keeps going for quite a ways. And has three or four names besides. But I recognize it. So we’re not all that far. We’ll be arriving at Smoulderglen by early evening.”“That’s fantastic,” I said.Clive nodded, but then he frowned a bit, bushy eyebrows meeting. “Lots of traffic in the sky today. Did you notice?”I blinked, mostly because I really hadn’t. “Other airships?” I asked.“Aye. I spotted a few. Always far off and in the clouds, often quite high up. I wouldn't say anything of it, except ... this is Smoulderglen.”“Ah,” I said. Amaryllis had mentioned that Smoulderglen was something of a hive of villainy.I looked up again at Clive’s words. My eyes squinted as they searched for any moving dots in the sky. There, far to the east, a small speck that might have been an airship or just a rogue cloud. Clive was right. We'd have to be careful as we got closer.As we began to draw nearer, the first sign of Smoulderglen appeared on the horizon — a thin wisp of smoke rising up into the sky, dancing and twirling as if bidding us welcome. It was soon followed by the flickering lights of the city — countless embers spilled across the landscape like glimmering coals.Smoulderglen was a city seemingly carved from flame itself.The buildings were built from a warm, red stone, looking like they were kissed by the sun. Many of the structures were round, almost dome-like, and their rooftops gleamed with copper that glowed under the setting sun, appearing like flashes of fire.The illusion was helped by the number of smokestacks and large fires pushing smoke into the air. I caught a whiff of it. Coal smoke? It didn’t smell like woodfire.A river wound its way through the city, its waters shimmering with the reflections of the reddish buildings around it. Then I noticed that the river fed into large pools of faintly steaming water, though I couldn’t tell why they were steaming from all the way up in the Beaver.And the airships! They were everywhere, floating like fat, mechanized whales against the backdrop of the fiery city. Some were large, freight-bearing vessels, while others were sleek, fast-looking airships that cut through the sky like predatory birds. Most of the traffic seemed to be nearer to the south end of the city.Despite the beauty, I felt a shiver of apprehension. The air was different here, heavy with a sense of danger that lurked beneath the city’s beautiful facade. From what I'd heard, Smoulderglen was known for being a city of chaos and intrigue, a haven for those who operated outside the law.As we descended, the chaos of the city became more apparent. The roads were teeming with people, vendors shouting their wares, the clanging of smiths echoing up to us. The airships above bobbed and weaved, some following strict paths while others seemed to wander almost aimlessly.There wasn’t a port in Smoulderglen. There was about fifty of them. Which didn’t make sense with a city that wasn’t all that big. Heck, Smoulderglen occupied an area similar to Inkwren, but much of that area included factories and warehouses, so I think the overall population was lower.So it took a while, and Amaryllis giving up on her sunbathing, for us to find a place to land. We decided on a dock edge of the city, one where a sign was hung that said ‘Vacant!’As we came down, a pair of little figures stepped out of a house next to the dock (which was very low to the ground, little more than some space and a few dozen logs and ramps laid out to accommodate a ship) and ran over to help.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.The air grew hotter as we descended, and the city’s unique scent-a mix of coal, oil, and spiced foods-grew as well.The landing was perfectly smooth, especially with the whole crew working to make sure of it and with Clive at the helm. We were getting good at this! With a slight groan, the Beaver settled onto some logs and we throttled down the engine before shutting it down. The propeller kept spinning, but it was only going along with its momentum now.I glanced over the side, then waved to the two men who’d come to greet us. The two figures-a dwarf and a human, as it turned out-hurriedly began to secure the airship, casting occasional curious glances up at us.They both grabbed a long, ladder and brought it up to the side of the ship where we secured it in place. Then I stepped off the Beaver, testing the ladder by bouncing on it a few times.The human of the pair seemed to be in charge. He was older, with a scruffy white beard that twitched as he spoke, and his eyes were quick, darting over me, and the Beaver with quick little twitches. He seemed like a professional, and his hand felt calloused and tough when I shook it. “Ye be needin' a place to dock, I take it?" he asked, his voice gruff but not unfriendly. He eyed the Beaver appraisingly, a hand reaching up to stroke his beard."We do," I responded, stepping forward to meet him. "We're just here for the night. We'll be off by sunup. And we need a bit of fuel. I don’t know if you sell any, but I guess it can’t be too hard to find some. There’s a lot of ships around."He grunted in response, running his hand along the side of the Beaver, before turning to face me. "Well, this here's my dock. I'm Farrell, Farrell the Fixer they call me. I can give ye a place to stay for the night, but it'll cost ye."I nodded, expecting as much. "How much would that cost?" I asked.Farrell looked at me, then at the Beaver, then back at me. "Five gold pieces. That'll cover the dockin', and if ye need any repairs or supplies, we can discuss a fair price for those too."Five gold seemed like a lot. Like, way more than what a dock for a night was worth. “I’ll have my first mate do the negotiating, if you don’t mind,” I said. “She’s way better at it than I am.”“Ye, that’s fair ‘nough,” Farrell said. Just as I was about to turn back to the ship and fetch Amaryllis, Farrell suddenly cleared his throat. "There’s something else ye might want to know." He glanced around as if expecting to find eavesdroppers, then leaned in closer. "If ye are here for more than just a night, ye might want to watch your back."I felt my eyebrows shooting up and my ears perking. “Why? What is it? Is Smoulderglen that dangerous, or, uh, is that a threat?” Threatening someone you just met, especially a new client, seemed somewhat rude to me."A bit of both, I reckon," Farrell replied, scratching his beard thoughtfully. "Smoulderglen's always been a bit...turbulent. But things are a mite more disordered of late."I tilted my head. "Why's that?""The Fireship Race," Farrell answered, his eyes gleaming with a strange mix of apprehension and excitement. "Annual event here in Smoulderglen. Draw in airships from far and wide, competing for a grand prize. But it ain't just the race. It's the crews."I resisted the urge to clap my hands. An airship race! That sounded awesome! “What’s wrong with the crews?” I asked."The gangs," Farrell clarified. "There are two main ones in Smoulderglen, The Red Wings and The Ember Hounds. They’ve always had a sort of rivalry, but it heats up around the time of the Fireship Race. Causes all sort of trouble. They’ve both got airships in the race, and neither likes to lose."“Got good money on the Hounds this year,” Farrell’s dwarven friend said with a chuckle.I glanced back at the Beaver, then at the bustling city of Smoulderglen. The Fireship Race. That could be interesting. "Thanks for the heads up, Farrell."There’s no way the Beaver could participate in any sort of race. I love him, he’s the best ship ever. But he wasn’t the fastest ship ever. Not by... a long, long shot.The Redemption on the other hand... well now, she was a fine, and very speedy, little airship.I could feel the cogs clacking in my head as I raced up the ladder. It only took a moment to tell Amaryllis about Farrell, and the price he wanted to charge us, and that was enough to have her flapping over the edge of the ship to go negotiate.Now that she couldn't tell me this was a bad idea, I glanced at the skiff tied up in between the Beaver’s twin hulls. A nice, sleek Snowlander design, with an oversized engine and in tip-top condition now that Awen had a look at it. Still... we were on a schedule.It would be a shame if we missed the wedding because of a race.On the other hand, we weren’t late to the wedding or anything. And we had a gift already. And we could use some prize money. Or just the experience of participating in an airship race.I held back giggles as I sidled up to Awen. “Hey, Awen,” I said. “Do you think you could make an airship go way faster than it’s supposed to? Hypothetically?”Awen blinked at me, then I idly reached over and smushed off some grease that was staining her cheek. “Ah, uh, yes? I guess. Change the fuel mixture, tweak the timing on the engine, remove some parts of the exhaust. There’s a few things you could do. But that’s... not a good idea? Engines are designed to last, pushing them to go faster usually means shortening their lifespan. Or it might mean that you have to spend a lot more time on maintenance.” She squinted her eyes a little. “Why are you asking?”I shrugged. “Just a little curious,” I said.I’m not sure if she believed me.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirteen — Captain's Duty
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirteen — Captain's Duty “That sounds like a terrible idea,” Caprica said when I first hinted at the race.“I think it sounds fun,” Calamity said. “But it’s also not my kind of thing. Sorry Bunch.” He shrugged, then went back to resting his feet on the table.We were in the Beaver’s dining room, having a quick lunch. Amaryllis was finishing up negotiations with Farrell and his dwarven friend, and we were waiting for the fuel to arrive. It would be awhile, so we had nothing better to do than wait.At the rate things were going at, it was unlikely that we’d be leaving until sometime in the morning. Not unless we planned on flying out of the city at night, which was probably a terrible idea.Visibility around an airship, especially above and below, wasn’t great at the best of times. Airships were amazing, but they didn't have the tools that plans had on Earth. No radar, GPS, or altitude metres to make night flying even a little safe. Flying low at night was extremely risky, and Smoulderglen's busy skies made it even worse.I crossed my arms and allowed myself to pout a little. “But it sounds so fun,” I complained.“Yes, but it’s a needless risk, will slow us down while we participate, and judging by the reputation this city has, it might end up giving us enemies that we don’t need,” Caprica said. “And all that for what? Some prize money? It’s not worth it, Broccoli.”She was probably right. But I wasn’t thinking so much about the prize money as I was about the fun we’d have. Heck, with so little time to prepare, I doubted we could win.Caprica might have caught on to my mood, because she pushed an open box my way. It was filled with little hard candies packed full of sugar. Mostly as a way to supplement her sylph diet, but they did taste very good.I took one and popped it into my mouth. Well, if we couldn’t race, we couldn’t race, it wasn’t that big of a deal.That’s about when Awen stepped into the room, hands rubbing together with a damp cloth between them to get rid of a grease stain. “Hey, Broc, can you...”“Oh? Yeah, sure,” I said as I let some Cleaning magic fly her way, scouring off the grease and oil and whatever else she had sticking to her hands.Awen sighed and nodded to me in thanks before sitting down hard. “Thanks,” she said. “What’s everyone talking about?”“Racing,” Calamity said. He’d pulled out a book. An atlas, from the captain’s quarters. It was a book I’d only briefly glanced through, but Calamity had been reading it for a little bit. I think he was mostly just interested in the accounts of foreign food.Awen blinked. Then she looked down at the table for a moment before glancing at me. “Broccoli, can we talk?”“Of course,” I said. “Um, you mean in private?”She nodded, then left the room.“You’re in trouble,” Calamity said in a low, sing-song murmur.I doubted I was in trouble. But maybe Awen was? Did something bad happen? If so, then maybe it was best that I didn’t mess around too much and went to help Awen. I jumped to my feet and followed her into the corridor. “I’ll be right back,” I told the others. “Then maybe we can start on lunch?”I found Awen waiting by the door to her room, she stepped back so that I could follow her in, then she stood there, looking like she didn’t know what to do with her hands and just... didn’t say anything for a while.So I gave her a hug, because hugs could help sometimes. “What did you want to tell me?” I asked while tilting my head to press into hers.“Ah,” Awen said. “I don’t want to make you angry.”I gave her an extra nice squeeze. “Don’t be silly. There’s not much you could tell me that would ever make me angry. Especially not at you. Is something wrong with the Beaver? Do we need to fix something?”Awen shook her head, and carefully, and maybe a little reluctantly, pulled out of the hug. “No, nothing’s wrong with the ship. I’m making sure of that. And, I guess that’s the problem?”“I... don’t understand,” I said. “Can you explain?”Awen nodded, then she went back to her cot and sat hard on the edge of it.Her room was... a bit of a huge mess. There were tools all over, and some spare parts, and lots of books about this and that. Mostly mechanics related stuff. She’d been picking up a book on the subject up here and there, and now she had a tidy... or untidy, little collection.My Cleaning magic kept the rooms dust and stain free, and no one seemed to mind not having to clean as much, but it didn’t do anything for organising. That was all on Awen in here. Which was ironic, since she was the one who warned us most often about not leaving leaving loose things around where they could be thrown about by a hard maneuver.“It’s my work,” Awen said. “Fixing things? I love it. It’s literally what I dreamed of. More than what I dreamed of, really. I often wondered what it would be like to sneak off and join some cargo ship’s crew, maybe pretend I was a boy and definitely not nobility, then just... work until I was respected.”“Okay,” I said. She was clearly building up to something, and I wanted her to know that I was listening with all four ears.“And... yeah. But it’s a lot of work.”She paused for a long time, and I decided to fill the silence in, just a little. “Is it too much?” I asked. “Did you need a break?”Awen shook her head. “It’s not that. It’s... earlier, you asked about turning the Redemption into something faster, right?”“Uh-huh,” I said. “There’s a big race here, in Smoulderglen. But the others talked me out of it.”“Oh,” she said, and I could almost see the wind deflating out of her sails. “I’m sorry. Nevermind then. I’m just wasting your time. Sorry.”I went and sat next to her, then gave her a side hug, which was also very nice because it put my arm in the optimal position for back rubs. The trick was big, slow circles. “Don’t say sorry. I don’t even know what you’re saying sorry for. What is it? I promise I won’t be mad.”Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.Awen chewed on her lip for a moment, then she continued. “I do a lot of work on the Beaver. There’s daily maintenance, then the bigger things that need to be looked after. The engines, the sails, all the rigging, the rudder and its mechanisms. It’s a lot. A ship of this size should have a crew about twice as big as what we have, you know? When we left, with just you, me, Amaryllis, and Clive and the two boys, that was the bare, bare minimum. One mechanic can keep the Beaver flying forever, but it’s a full time job.”I nodded. “Have we been unfair to you?” I asked.A full time job, for a full time mechanic, and that was probably a full time mechanic with years of experience. Awen didn’t have that, not yet. And while I firmly believed that she was special, and incredible-she was my friend, so of course she was-that didn’t mean that she had so much talent that it trumped years of experience.“We’ve been giving you a lot of work, haven’t we?” I said, my voice a lot lower and less happy than usual, because it was true. I’d kind of just... assumed that Awen would take care of all the problems on the Beaver the same way that I assumed that Amaryllis would take care of the money stuff and that I’d take care of the cleaning.But we’d never really sat down and discussed who would do what. We’d never even tried to reward anyone for their work. Not just pay, but... more than that.I felt my ears wilting and I let out a long sigh. “We haven’t been good friends. I haven’t been a good friend.”“What? No,” Awen said.I shook my head. “No, it’s true. I’m the captain, so it’s my job to make sure that things are going right, and I’ve let you down in a big, yucky way. I’m sorry, Awen,” I said. “But... yeah, let’s make things better? I don’t want you to feel underappreciated. You’re the best, and one day you’ll be the greatest mechanic ever, and people will sing songs about you and you’ll have invented the coolest stuff. So... tell me what I can do to help? And don’t say ‘nothing,’ I know I could have helped more than I have.”Awen leaned back for a moment, then she glanced down, but she was smiling a little, and her cheeks were rosy at the compliments. “I don’t want to cause a fuss,” she said. “I don’t want it to be a big thing.”“It is a big thing. Your feelings and your happiness is a big thing to me. Always.”Awen’s little smile got a bit bigger, and she leaned in closer to me, so I wrapped my other arm around her in a two-armed side-hug, which was a very advanced sort of hug.“I just, awa, I just want you to understand that sometimes, things aren’t as easy as they look, I guess. Fixing things is hard. Maintaining them is easier, but not all of the time. And when I do everything just right, it looks like nothing happened at all. When you asked to turn the Redemption into something faster, that’s a lot of work. Like, a lot a lot.”“Oh,” I said. I squeezed her a bit tighter so that maybe the pit in my stomach would go away. “I’m sorry. Do you still want to continue? We can hire someone, maybe. Or get you some help. Or train one of the Scallywags to be your assistant, or maybe we can each do some of the maintenance?”Awen shook her head. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else with the Beaver’s maintenance,” she said. “And I still love what I do. I just... I don’t know.”"I think I get it," I said. "My guess is that you're feeling underappreciated. Does that sound about right?""Awa, um, I don't really think ... well ..." Awen hedged, but her eyes wouldn't meet mine."Then, can you describe what you are feeling?" I asked."Uh ..." she looked lost for a moment. "Awa ... okay. As I said, the Beaver takes a lot of work. Which I do. And I ... suppose the rest of the crew doesn't really seem to notice? Except for Clive, I think."Clive had served on airships a long time, so he probably had a rough idea of how much effort Awen needed to put in. That made sense."And, well, I guess that ... not acknowledging my work is ... underappreciation," she decided.It hurt to have her say it like that. But I think it was the kind of hurt I needed.The silence stretched on for a minute. "Awen," I finally said, "I don't know how we'll learn to appreciate you more but I’ll be sure to do it. We’ll be appreciating you so much, you won’t know where to put all the appreciation you’re getting.”Awen giggled as I started swaying from side to side, turning the hug into a rocking hug. “Thanks, Broc, I appreciate that.”I giggled right back, then dropped my head onto her shoulder. I’d been a less-than-great friend, but I was sure that I could do better. Maybe I could set something up so that everyone pulled their weight, and saw how hard Awen was working too.Just as I was about to consider ending the hug, the door to Awen’s room opened up a smidge, Amaryllis popped her head in. “Broccoli, Awen, there you are.”“Hey,” I said. “Is something up?”Amaryllis nodded. “Yes, something very much is. You’ve heard of that ridiculous race?” The last was aimed squarely at me.“Yup. But we’re not participating. It’s not a good idea, and Awen’s working hard to keep the Beaver in one piece, I don’t think we could ask her to help us with racing anything.”“Of course we’re not participating, are you mad? The prize is a pittance and the race is only popular to a select few outside of the region. But I did get a list of participating ships from Ferrell.”“He gave you a list?” I asked.She glanced away. “He might have had it in his office, and I might have temporarily requisitioned it. It doesn’t matter, look at this.”She handed something over, a page, with the name of the race, a small map of the circuit, and at the bottom, a list of the airships participating in it.One immediately caught my eye. The Shady Lady.“Wait! Awen, that’s...”“That’s Uncle’s ship!” Awen shouted.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fourteen — Can You Say Uncle
Chapter Four Hundred and Fourteen — Can You Say Uncle “Could it be a coincidence?” Caprica asked.We were back in the Beaver’s dining room, sitting around the table where Amaryllis had placed the race pamphlet.“I suppose that’s possible,” Amaryllis said. “Awen’s uncle is somewhat... infamous, and his airship is featured in many of his stories.”“I never heard of him before we went to the Snowlands. Is he a big deal around here?” Calamity asked.“Uncle is... uncle,” Awen said. “When he was young, he was one of the more important members of the Exploration guild. He helped map out the entire continent, and fought all sorts of powerful monsters and... a lot of small places kind of owe him for helping them. He’s also very strong.”“Right,” Calamity said. “How old is he, anyway?”“Um, old?” Awen said. “He’s ten years older than papa, awa, I mean, my dad. And dad had me and my siblings when he was old, so... I don’t know, exactly?”I rubbed at my chin in thought. “So, because Awen’s uncle is popular, I guess it’s possible that the Shady Lady in the race isn’t the same Shady Lady that Abraham has. But... it might be the same ship. And this kind of race sounds, hmm, Awen, do you think your uncle would participate in something like this?”“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “He’d love this kind of thing.”“High risk, middling rewards, lots of chances for everything to go horrifically wrong,” Amaryllis listed off on her talons. “Yes, this sounds like exactly the kind of thing Abraham Bristlecone would get up to.”Caprica leaned back into her seat with a shrug. “There’s one way to find out. We go out and check. Awen, you’d be able to recognize the ship, right? Also, are we really going to see this guy?”“It’s Abe! He’s really cool, of course we have to see him,” I said.“Ah, of course I’d recognize the Shady Lady!” Awen said. “Uncle used to let me help with maintenance. Not that, uh, he did maintenance himself most of the time. He usually had Raynold with him. He taught me a lot. I think Raynold’s third class is something mechanic-related?”“Third class?” Calamity said. Then he whistled. “Dang. Your uncle keeps scary company.”“Well, if Awen’s sure she can recognize the ship-” Caprica started.Awen, rather uncharacteristically, cut in before Caprica could finish. “I am. I spent enough time around her growing up. The shape of the hull, the rigging, the sound of the engines... I'd know her anywhere.""So it's decided then," I said, rising to my feet and giving the table a firm thump for good measure. "We'll go down to the race site, have a look at the ships, and see if the Shady Lady is really Abraham’s Shady Lady.""And if it isn't,” Amaryllis, with her ever-practical mind, added, “We'll have wasted only a little bit of time and gotten a tour of Smoulderglen. If it is, we'll have a chance to reconnect Awen with her uncle, which is a chance we cannot afford to miss. Abraham is, despite all of his... unique characteristics, still a very well-connected man."Awen looked a bit flushed, a shy smile playing at her lips. "I... I would like to see Uncle again.""Then it's settled," I said, my ears perked high in determination.Of course, it was easy to say that things were settled, and a bit more complicated for them to actually be settled. The Beaver couldn’t just be abandoned, so we left the dining room and prepared to head out, which meant gearing up in case of trouble and telling the crew about our departure.Which is what led me to having a quick conversation with Clive who was sitting on the railing next to the wheel. “Ya know, Captain, if you want to bring the whole crew to a show like that, we can park the Beaver somewhere safe and then head on in. I’m not all that fond of racing and the like myself, I wouldn’t mind keeping an eye on him.”“Oh! That'd be really nice of you,” I said. “I don’t know if we’ll stay to watch the race, but if we do, then... thanks! I might take you up on that.”It would be nice to have a day off with the others to watch the race! I bet the Scallywags would love that. The ticket prices that I’d seen on the pamphlet weren’t all that bad, either. It felt like they might have been keeping the prices low so that they could get more people to buy their overpriced snacks or something.Once everyone was ready to go, I headed down the ladder and hopped off onto terra firma once more.Farrell was sitting not too far off, chatting with his dwarven friend while the both of them sipped from brown glass bottles. “Heading out?” he asked.“Just a few of us,” I said. “We think one of our friends might be participating in the race!”“Oh, that’s exciting,” he said. “Going to wish them good luck, then?”I bobbed my head in a nod. “Yup! Do you know where the racers, ah, park their racers?”Farrell snorted. “Yeah, I do. I can show ya the way. I got nothing much to do until nightfall and the real drinking starts.”“That’d be much appreciated,” I said.So off we went. Farrell led the way, and my friends and I followed after him as he marched off into the streets of Smoulderglen.The roads were quiet near Farrell’s place, and most of the homes were nice little places with little yards and gardens out back, but soon we were getting closer to the centre of the city and the homes squished in a little and were broken up by large warehouses and small factories.The buildings seemed to range across a few styles, but most of them used local bricks and stone, with the occasional wooden accent. The roofs were almost all red tiles though, and many buildings we passed had been painted a bright red at some point.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.As we came closer to the centre of town and we began to see more people, I started to people-watch a little. Smoulderglen’s population was mostly human, it seemed, which made sense. We were near Mattergrove, which was human-run, and the Independent cities were also mostly human. But there were plenty of harpies around as well, and I noticed a number of dwarves.Had they come down here from the Snowlands to the north? The beards were different, trimmed a bit closer to the chin and more triangular than the long, flowing beard of the Snowlander dwarves.There were a number of repair yards like Farrell’s around the city, but nearer to the centre, those were replaced by big towers of stone and scaffolding where airships were docked to the sides. Nets hung under the ships to catch the workers crawling over the vessels and fixing them up.Farrell led us towards a large, open space that had been transformed into a makeshift airship yard. A chain-link fence cut the space in half, and it was further divided into smaller spaces where different crews had set up tents and tarps atop some of the smallest airships I’d ever seen.Some of them had logos painted on their hulls, for different local shops and companies, and others had paintings of flames and pretty girls plastered on their sides. There was clearly more to the racers than just the idea of a ship that went fast. It had to also catch the eye while going fast.Some were built for speed with sleek, streamlined hulls and massive engines. Others were more ornate, decorated with intricate patterns and vibrant colours, clearly designed for show rather than speed. The names of the airships were proudly displayed on their hulls, and some crews had even hoisted flags with their logos or emblems.“This is it,” Farrell said. “Not all the ships are here, mind. Plenty of folk will hide their craft until the morning of the race. Competition’s tough, you know? And watch out around here. Tempers run as hot as the competition sometimes.”I nodded my head. I could see some of the racer crews already, shirtless men practically posing next to their ships, trying to one-up each other while mechanics checked and rechecked things in the background.Amid all the ships and signs and posters and ads and even the people shouting for attention while selling confections, I caught sight of a particular ship that didn’t have a panoply of ads all around it or a colourful paint job or anything that made it stand out too much.It was a wooden-hulled ship, with poles sticking out of it for its sails and wood that was clearly mismatched, as if it had been flown into a forested mountainside, repaired with rough-hewn planks harvested from the trees they knocked down, and then immediately crashed into another mountain. There were still scrapes along its hull, and one of the letters on its side didn’t quite match the others.The Shady Lady was still a beautiful craft though. Its little cabin at the rear was quaint, and she somehow managed to feel... classy, despite the beatings she had taken.She was an old lady, weather-beaten and tough as nails, but still spry where it counted.“That’s the Shady Lady!" Awen pointed at the ship I'd been looking at. "I'd recognize her anywhere!"She ran up to the fence that separated the visitors from the ships, then started looking for a way around it. She stepped back, then looked up to the top of the fence. It was almost twice as tall as she was.Awen glanced back at me. “Can we jump it?” she asked.“Uh, maybe?” I said. It wouldn’t be too hard, but there were lots of people around.Shrugging, I decided that making Awen happy was more important than a rule. Besides, Abraham wouldn’t be upset with us. So I scooped Awen up. She squeaked, but then clung on tight as I jumped up and over the fence with a bit of stamina pushed into my legs.I set her down on the other side, then jumped back over. By the time I got there, Caprica had already taken to the air. “I might be a princess, but I’d rather avoid being carried,” she said as she flew up and over the fence. Amaryllis huffed, then jumped onto the fence and clambered up.So I glanced at Calamity, arms ready to grab onto him.“You know, I’m part cat, right? I can jump over something like that no problem,” he said.“I know, but I came all the way back to help,” I said.Calamity snorted, then leaped up into my arms.He was much lighter than I expected, which made jumping over with him nice and easy.As we gathered closer to the Shady Lady, a gruff voice boomed out behind us. “Haha! Awen! Is that you?!”Awen spun around, eyes wide and mouth opening to exclaim something, but before she could say anything there was a blur and an oomph and suddenly Awen was being spun around in the arms of a huge, burly man.“Haha! Little Awen!” Abraham said. He was as big as I remembered, which was to say, he was physically a bit smaller than me, but his sheer presence made him feel like a giant. I hadn’t felt that much of a presence in someone since I’d met Caprica’s dad.His moustache was as fabulous as ever, and he’d gained a few new wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, but they were curved up in a big smile. His eyes caught my attention, they had the same spark as Awen’s.“Ahaha! Broccoli, Amaryllis! You kept Awen in one piece!” he said. Or shouted? It was hard to tell with Abraham.“Yup! We’ve been wi-omph!” I started only to be cut off as Abraham swept me and Amaryllis up in his hug.It was nice to see Abraham again, even if it meant being squished until I couldn’t breathe!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifteen — The Old Man and the Sky
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifteen — The Old Man and the Sky Abraham’s enthusiastic greeting was so loud that we were getting a few looks, but those passed soon enough. I suspected that the people in the nearby landing pads were either used to Abraham, or were getting used to him pretty quickly.Abraham stood before the five of us with hands on hips and his glorious moustache twitching up at the corners as he gave us all a huge grin. “Awen! You made more friends!”“Awa, I did,” Awen said. It was kind of funny seeing Awen caught between wanting to be bashful and shy, and wanting to open up at the same time. It led to her fumbling around with her hands, as if she didn’t know what to do with them.I helped by walking to her side and giving her a side-hug, which occupied at least one arm and left the other for fretting.“Um, I should introduce you,” she said.“Of course!” Abraham said. “I’m Abraham Bristlecone! Explorer of the unknown, traveller of the untravelled, and ender of the unendable! Haha! I’m also Awen’s favourite uncle! My best title yet!”Awen blushed, but she couldn’t contain a smile. “Uncle, these are our newest friends and travelling, um, companions? That’s Caprica Sylph, she’s... a sylph from Sylphfree.” I noticed her hesitation in mentioning Caprica’s princessness, which was actually probably for the best. If Smoulderglen was a nexus for rapscallions, then it wouldn’t do to let people know there was a princess about, let alone a princess from what might be the richest nation on the continent. “And that’s Calamity, he’s a hunter from the north of the Trenten Flats.”“I’m Calamity Danger,” Calamity said with a tip of his hat. He was lucky that he was so cool, or else his trying to look cool would make him look silly instead. “Hunter of the uncountable.”“Haha!” Abraham roared. “I like your attitude, disaster boy, but I’ll have you know that you have a long way to go before you’re ready to best me!”“I can't imagine you sneaking up on anything, old guy,” Calamity said. “You’re one ‘Haha!’ away from scaring off every good bit of meat for a league.”Abraham ‘haha’d!’ again, his whole belly trembling with good humour. “My boy, the best prey to hunt is the sort that runs towards you! Why, I remember hunting a giant wyrm that lived in Walker’s Pass. Of course, back then it wasn’t called Walker’s Pass, it was called Don't-Go-There-Or-You'll-Be-Eaten-By-A-Giant-Wyrm Pass! Haha!”“Uncle, you’re not going to start another story, are you?” Awen asked.Abraham looked momentarily chastised, but only very momentarily. “And you, Miss Caprica! It’s a pleasure to make a friend among the sylph once more! Haha! Good folk, even if you can’t hold your drink.”“Pardon you?” Caprica asked. There was a dangerous glint in her eye.“Mister Abraham,” I interrupted. “What are you doing all the way over here?”Abraham grinned and tapped the side of his nose. “One of my skills told me to head on over if I wanted to find some proper adventure. Besides, I have a few old grudges to settle.”“Oh no,” Awen said. “You have enemies here?”“And everywhere else! Haha! You can tell a lot about someone by the quality of their friends, and a lot more by the quality of their adversaries, and I have only the best rivals!”I grinned. Abraham was very enthusiastic today, it was infectious. I wondered if he had a skill that made his good mood spread? Or one that helped him get away with being... himself? I would bet on the latter, actually!“Come on, you kids follow me! My ‘old age’ is starting to show and sometimes I feel the need for a sit down.”Abraham led us deeper into the Shady Lady’s landing space.There were toolboxes lined up against the walls and metal shelves filled with spare parts and ladders and a few bits of scaffolding leading up to the underside of the airship for easy access. Some tarps had been hung from those, creating a partition at the rear of the space were a small cast iron stove was placed alongside a couple of well-worn sofas. A large block of ice was just... sitting there, slowly melting. Someone had carved a hole in its side to make place for a dozen bottles of various alcohols.“Aha! Do you want anything to drink, kids?” Abraham asked. “Only the finest stolen drinks from across the kingdom and beyond!”“Stolen?” I asked.Abraham pulled a bottle out of the... sorta-fridge and tossed it to Calamity, who caught it out of the air. “Well, the locals certainly didn’t make cervid brandy. And there are more pirates here than you could shake a stick at.”“Have you been having any issues with them?” Amaryllis asked.Abraham chuckled, and there was a bit of a dark note to it. “I’ve had my share of trouble with pirates in the past. But I’ve learned a lot about them over the years, and if there’s one thing pirates respect, it’s someone who can make their lives miserable! Haha! Just got to prove that you’re the bigger whale in the sky and that your stuff’s not worth the trouble of taking, and they’ll leave you alone!”I glanced at my friends, then started to worry a little about the Beaver. It wasn’t unguarded, but the ones guarding it were Clive and the harpy boys and the Scallywags. They had decent levels, but none of them had a second class yet and they weren’t fighters.“I heard that you had your own run-in with pirates! That rat-bastard Rogers! Haha! I'm going to give him a good talking to next time I see his ugly mug!”“Rogers! He’s the one that tried to kidnap me!” Awen said.Abraham’s chest puffed out. “He did! I heard that you burned half his ship and sent it crashing into the ocean! Haha! Fantastic work! You really are my favourite niece!” There were more hugs, with Abraham squishing Awen close. “That’ll teach him not to underestimate a Bristlecone!”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“It was actually really scary,” I said. “I was afraid that we might lose Awen. And the pirates were all quite a bit stronger than us. Well, except for Bastion.”“Bastion?” Abraham asked.“Oh! He’s a friend we made! A sylph Paladin. I guess he’s back in Sylphfree now. He joined us on our trip over.”Abraham nodded while rubbing at his chin. “A sylph Paladin. Nothing to sneeze at. Tough as nails and usually quite mad.”“Bastion isn’t mad,” Caprica said.“Haha! You won’t find just anyone willing to join the Paladins, and those that make it need to be a little mad, else they wouldn’t put up with the training and the hardship. But enough of that! You’ve been on your own grand adventure! You need to tell me all about it!”Awen blushed as she suddenly found herself the centre of everyone’s attention, but she launched into the story anyway. It was very much abridged, with some bits that had taken days flying by in a single sentence.. “And then we rode the dragon back to Port Royal” didn’t feel like it really captured how awesome that had been, but Awen was new to storytelling, and Abraham was listening intently, only interrupting with the occasional ‘Haha!’ or to slap his knee and roar with laughter.“And then, awa, I guess that’s how we made it here,” Awen finished. She’d skipped a lot, but it made sense. A lot had happened, after all.I did notice that she tended to skip over her own parts in the stories she told, she painted herself more as just... Awen the Beaver’s mechanic instead of Awen the clever crossbow-wielding dungeon delver, bomb disposer, king saving and overall awesome girl that I thought of her as.“Interesting that you stopped by the Snowlands... I might have to go pay some old chums a visit once this whole race thing is over!” Abraham said. “But it sounds like you've all been through some wild times! Haha! And it seems like there are wild times still ahead, eh?" He reached for a bottle of the cervid brandy from the ice-block fridge and poured himself a glass to toast us all with.Awen grabbed the bottle, and then poured herself a cup too.Abraham chuckled. “Oh, your mother would have a fit if she saw you now! Your dad too!”“Ah, I... I don’t know if I want to see them just yet,” Awen said. “They tried to kidnap me.”“Bah, let them stew in their own misery, then,” he said with a firm nod."Speaking of wild times ahead," I said as I tried to change the subject to one that was a bit more fun. “Are you going to participate in that big airship race with the Shady Lady?”Abraham beamed, his already bright eyes twinkling with anticipation. "Aye, that's right! You've got a good nose for adventure, lass... or maybe the ears for it. Were those always there?”“Oh,” I said as I reached up and touched an ear, the right one, which always dangled a bit. “No, these are from after we met!”“Haha! Well, in any case, myself, Raynold and another old friend are going to show these young whippersnappers that going fast is more than just having the fastest ship and the nicest paintjob.”“That’s... usually how it works though,” Amaryllis said. “The fastest ship part, in any case.”“Bah! You’re one of the whippersnappers, then!” he declared, and Amaryllis huffed at the insult."Why are you participating in it?" Amaryllis asked. She tilted her head a bit, curious. She’d grabbed a cup from the freezer-block as well, and took a slow sip from something that smelled fruity. “You’ve had your share of adventures, no?”Abraham chuckled. "Why, for the thrill of it, of course! And, more importantly, for the glory! To stand as the fastest among the sky-bound, to have your name cheered by the crowd... There's nothing quite like it! Besides, I’m reaching the point where I need a proper challenge. Something big to really get the experience flowing.”“Diminishing returns?” Amaryllis asked.“I could punch a dragon and barely see a drop of proper experience from it,” he said with a shake of his head. “I could retire and live out another fifty years as an old curmudgeon, but that’s not the way I do things! Haha! I’ve got a few blazes of glory left in me still! Besides, I want to see what it’s like to have five classes! It’s not just the race, mind you. It’s the camaraderie among the captains, the challenges we face together, the stories we share. But also…" His gaze sharpened. "I have a score to settle.""Another grudge?" Awen asked, a bit of alarm in her eyes.Abraham's laughter filled the space. "Oh, not a grudge, no. This is a friendly rivalry, you see. Captain Marcellus Windrider, a devilishly fast dwarf if there ever was one, won last year. I intend to take that trophy back!""And you believe you have a shot at winning?" I asked, curiosity piqued.Abraham's grin broadened. "Why, lass, I don't believe — I know I have a shot. The Shady Lady might look a bit rustic on the outside, but she's got it where it counts.”I looked at Amaryllis, who’d been the biggest proponent against the idea of having us race. “You know... Abraham might like some help racing the Shady Lady...” I started.Amaryllis rolled her eyes. “When’s the race?” she asked.“Ah, tomorrow days from now, starting at dawn!” he said. “And I wouldn’t mind a hand or two! I imagine Awen’s grown by leaps and bounds since she last took a spanner at the Lady! It’d make her old uncle proud to have her check the old windbag out!”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixteen — Talking Shop
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixteen — Talking Shop My friends and I decided to help.It wasn’t that big of a discussion, but it was a discussion, and I was pretty happy with that. Recently, I’d been feeling... well, not bad, exactly, but a bit conflicted.Was I being the best friend I could be?Well, no.I don’t think it was entirely possible to be the very best at something, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t try. That trying meant listening, and talking, and making sure that my friends were happy with whatever came down.So we talked, weighed the pros and the cons, then decided to help Abraham with his latest adventure.On some level, I think we all knew that he was sort of humoring us. But he seemed thrilled to have us along, so I didn't think we were really imposing.Amaryllis and Calamity had gone off to secure the Beaver’s stay for the next couple of days, and to make sure that there was a watch set up. It was important to keep the ship safe, especially in a place that could be so troublesome. I was sure we’d manage though, and we had a massive boogeyman to scare off any evildoers, otherwise known as Abraham.That left Caprica, Awen, and I with Abraham and the Shady Lady.Caprica was probably the last of my friends that I would have expected to get along with Abraham (he was a bit much, even as cuddly as he was) but she was sitting on a tank of some sort down below while Abraham regaled her with a story that needed to be told at high volume and with lots of arm waving and gesticulating.While she kept Abraham and herself entertained, Awen and I went over the Shady Lady.Mostly that was Awen. I was her tool bunny for the moment, carrying a small toolbox in both hands and a few more in some belts that I’d looped around my neck.“How is she?” I asked.All I could see of Awen right then were her legs and behind sticking out of the ship’s engine bay. The Shady Lady’s engineering section was inside the hull, but the hull was so small that there wasn’t really room for anyone ‘inside’ the ship, except for the cabin at the rear, and that’s not where the engine was.“She’s... not that bad, but not as great as she could be,” Awen said. She grunted, then pulled herself out along with a large metal thing with a gear sticking out of one end and some wires on the other.“Is that important?” I asked.Awen blinked, then looked down at the thing she was holding. “Yes?”“Okay,” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say.Awen smiled, then held it up to me. “This is the starter. It... well, it starts the engine. See this gear? It gets the engine turning, and once it’s turning, it can sustain itself. But look at this part, here.”“Uh,” I said as I followed her gaze. “It’s metal?”“Yeah, bare metal. No grease, and you can see some gouges along the shaft here. This isn’t the original starter, and it’s not meant for this model of engine.”“Oh,” I said. “So it shouldn’t work?”She shrugged. “I’m sure it does, but it’s not meant to be fitted in there. Then again, nothing is. The Shady Lady has been rebuilt a lot, you know? And a lot of the rebuilds were kind of ... improvised. I said the starter doesn't go with this model of engine, right? Well, that's true of everything in here." She gestured vaguely into the engine bay. "When you're out on the edge of civilization, it can be hard enough to find spare parts for a new engine. So, Uncle used whatever he could find to get moving again. The current engine is secondhand, but the exhaust manifold is brand new — except it's for a different model so someone beat it with a hammer to make it fit. The driveshaft looks like some kind of Sylphfree military castoff; they cut it down to size and ground the ends to fit. Each part of the hydraulic system was manufactured by a different group, even the main reservoir, which is a two-hundred-year-old whiskey cask. The wiring is a customised patchwork. Half the gears are worn down. The propeller is unbalanced, and I am pretty sure it was looted from pirates."I blinked. That was a lot from Awen all at once. "How can you tell?""Mostly the graffiti. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: there's a lot of room for improvement." She smiled and held up the starter, can you clean this? I’ll see if I can’t find a replacement for the cam on this and then I’ll fit it back into place after greasing it up.”“Alright.” I said, happy that I could do something to help. A quick application of Cleaning magic was all it took to scour the old grease off the starter. It revealed a crack along the metal casing that Awen glared at for a while before sighing.“If this was on the Beaver I’d insist on replacing it once we got to port,” she said. “Not that I let things get this far. I swear, Uncle does not take care of his stuff. This is probably half the reason he keeps needing to replace things.” She muttered a little more as she disassembled the starter with surprising ease while sitting on the ship’s railing. The parts she undid went on the floor, laid out in a big semi-circle.“Can you fix it?” I asked.“I’m a mechanic, not a machinist,” she said. “But... maybe if I had the right tools? I don’t have much experience making things from scratch, especially not metal.”I shrugged. I really didn’t know much about it. As far as I was concerned, Awen was doing some sort of machine magic to keep things working. “So, what do we do?”“With this? Find a replacement, make sure it works with the engine. I can maybe switch the gears out to make sure a replacement works. Then... well, I barely looked at things before finding this problem, so I bet there’s a lot more down there.”“Oh, shoot,” I said. “So, the Shady Lady isn’t ready for racing, is she?”Awen frowned, then shrugged a shoulder. “Not as ready as I’d like. But she can probably still fly. Uncle has brought the Shady back in pretty bad shape before. There are lots of problems with a ship this old, but she’s tough-tough.”If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.“That she is,” someone said from behind me.I spun around with a gasp to find a grenoil gentleman standing on the deck. It took me a split second to recognize him.“Raynold!” I jumped forward and hugged the slim grenoil. He chuckled, returning the hug with gusto. “You’re here too?”“I could hardly leave Abraham on his own. World knows what sort of trouble he’d get into without someone to keep an eye on him!” Raynold said as the hug ended. “Awen! It’s wonderful to see you as well.”“Uncle Raynold,” Awen said, a lot calmer than I’d been, but she was still smiling and after setting down a last couple parts down, she raised her arms to give him a hug too. “It’s nice to see you.”“And you as well.” Raynold gave Awen a final squeeze, then settled back down with a grunt. Raynold wasn’t the youngest frog around. There were a few wrinkles around the edges of his eyes and mouth that I didn’t remember, and he seemed just a little more stooped, but he still carried himself like a proper gentleman in his vest and cleanly pressed slacks. Only the aviator goggles hanging around his neck hinted at him maybe being somewhat mechanically inclined. “You know, your family...”“I, ah, don’t know if I want to hear about them,” Awen said.He nodded. “That’s fair enough. I’m glad to see you, in anycase. And glad to have someone else around to help me wrangle Abraham. He’s been getting particularly excited about this race, which... is concerning.”“Concerning?” I asked.Raynold nodded, which was a big gesture for a grenoil to make. “The participants aren’t all pirates and criminals and ruffians, but they definitely make up the majority. The rest are airship companies that want to tailor to them. We’re standing out for being so... dare I say, normal?”“So the locals don’t like you?” That was concerning. Someone might try something with Abraham, or the Shady Lady. Or they might fly unfairly during the race.“It’s not all that bad. We balance out the distaste with a respectable amount of fear,” Raynold said with a rueful grin. He fished out a small pipe from a pocket on his vest. “Abraham’s a powerful man, and I’m not so shabby myself. It’s still just the two of us, however.”“That must be lonely,” I said.Raynold laughed, shaking his head all the while. “No, nothing of the sort. There’s no time to be lonely with Abraham around. Now, I have to know, why do you have the engine’s starter in pieces?”“Ah, there’s a crack in the casing,” Awen said. “And the cam is worn out.”“Hmm, didn’t know about the cam,” Raynold said. “But the casing’s been cracked since before we installed it, so that’s nothing new.”“Isn’t that... concerning?” Awen asked. “The crack might grow?”“You do things a bit more by the book than we do,” Raynold said. “But I suppose there’s no harm in that, especially not just before the big race. I have a few spare parts below that I was going to swap out, maybe you could give me a hand with that? I’ll need a bit of time to source a new starter.”Awen glanced down at the open engine bay. “I think we might have to replace more than just that,” she said. “I didn’t have time to look at much down there.”"A fair assessment." Raynold rubbed his chin. "You definitely know what you're doing. So long as you're here, the Shady Lady could certainly stand to have a bit of maintenance done. I’ll help you remove the rest of the engine’s covering, and we can unbolt the cowling while we’re at it. Miss Bunch, I recall you having Cleaning magic?”“Yup!” I chirped.“Then I’d appreciate your help here too,” he said. “We’ll want to slather some grease on everything once we’re done, but clearing it off should help see what needs our attention more. Do you know anything about tuning, Awen?”“Not really, not beyond getting the timing right on the Beaver,” Awen said. She didn't seem upset about her own lack of knowledge. If anything, she seemed a little excited to learn something new.Raynold nodded along. “In that case, let me show you an old trick or two. I did pick up a handy third class just to keep this old bird afloat.”So we got to work, and by we, I mostly mean Raynold and Awen. I got to stand on the side and feel a bit useless while I watched them take things apart and chat between each other. My translation power made sure that I understood the words they were using, but not necessarily what they were talking about, which was kind of annoying.Still, I got to pass them tools and Awen at least seemed to be having a blast, so I didn’t complain.“Ah, Broccoli, can you clean this part here?” Awen asked.“Sure,” I said. “Do you want me to just blast the entire engine?”“No, there might be a few corners where there’s accumulated oil that we won’t easily be able to replace. And since those places are hard to reach, we want to leave the oil there because if they start to rust apart,” Raynold said.“Okay,” I said. It seemed a little weird to me to want to keep something dirty, but the logic did make some sense, so I decided not to question it too hard. “So, are you sure you’ll be okay, just you and Abraham?”Raynold hummed a deep, throaty note. “I’m not worried. Or maybe I am? I’m not worried that the locals could really harm us. Sure, there are more violent ruffians than I’d like around these parts, but most of them are common thugs that bully others and rely too much on their own brawn. It’s rare to find a thug that’s brave enough to delve a dungeon in search of a second class, and fewer still make it to a third. On the other hand, Abraham has a nose for danger, and he tends to go running towards it rather than away.”“That does sound like Uncle,” Awen said.I went quiet for a while as Awen and Raynold continued to work. Sometimes, I felt like maybe I was a tiny bit like Abraham myself. Not the big rotundness and the glorious moustache, but the attitude towards adventure and fun.Was I making my friends worry too?Then again, Raynold seemed to love Abraham, regardless of his nose for adventure. Or maybe even because of it.I sighed. Introspection was so tiring.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventeen — Race Against Time
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventeen — Race Against Time The airship race was due to start in about twenty-four hours, and the Shady Lady did not look ready for a race. In fact, she barely looked ready to fly at all.Awen and Raynold had decided that with both of them working on the airship together, they’d have a much better chance of fixing and patching her up here and now, before the race would begin.That seemed rather obvious to me, and I think to the rest of my friends too. Who wanted to race in a ship that wasn’t in good racing condition? But it was clear that that wasn’t how Abraham thought.Awen and Reynold disagreed.Which meant that for a good chunk of the rest of the day, I ended up serving as runny-bun for Awen and Raynold. She sent me back to the Beaver a half-dozen times with lists of parts to pick up, tools to grab, and scraps to return with.Eventually Amaryllis and Caprica were roped into helping too. Awen returned to the Beaver and we temporarily stole the propeller off the Redemption as well as a few other small parts which were just about the right size to fit onto the Shady Lady.Supper came and went, and I think we were all thankful that a few ingenious locals had set up street food stalls near the racer landing pads. It was the only way we’d get anything in our tummies since time was so short.“This was a bad idea,” Awen admitted to me as she stared at a workbench covered in parts.“What was?” I asked. I was currently holding onto one metal doohickey so that the hose within it didn’t detach from another metal doodad.Awen gestured at the bench covered in thingywhatsits. “The more we dig, the more stuff we find that needs fixing. It’s a miracle that the Shady Lady could fly at all. But that means that we’re breaking things to fix them and then discovering more broken stuff underneath. If we hadn’t started digging, then things would still be working, even if poorly.”"Maybe the Shady Lady could fly, but would she keep flying halfway through a stressful race?" I patted Awen's shoulder. "You're making her a lot safer."Awen sighed. "Yes, but at what cost? The more we fix, the more things we find that are wrong. We might not be able to fix everything before the race starts.""Just focus on the important parts," I said, trying to be supportive. "Make sure the engine is in the best shape possible. The other stuff can wait until after the race."She gave me a small smile, "Thanks, Broccoli. You always know how to make me feel better." I smiled back, then she continued. “Even if you don’t know a thing about airship maintenance.”I turned in my smile for a fresh new pout.We continued to work into the night. Or at least, Awen and Raynold did. The rest of us did what we could to help, but it was clear that they were in their own little bubble, and the best we could do after a while was make sure they had what they needed as they continued to toil away at the Shady Lady.“Do you think this is good for her?” I asked Amaryllis when we had a moment to ourselves.Amaryllis huffed a ‘are you serious’ sort of huff. “This is perfect for her,” she said. “If it wasn’t for the lost time, then I’d say that this situation was almost entirely perfect for Awen’s growth.”“Her growth?” I asked.“She’s doing the kind of work that her class is made for, under heavy constraints with materials and time, and working on a ship that’s likely only held together by well-wishes and Abraham’s own skills,” Amaryllis said. “I’m no mechanic, Broccoli, but I am an Albatross of the Albatross family. I know airships, and that one shouldn’t be able to fly.”“But... we’ve flown on it before,” I said.“We crashed on it before,” she replied. “I’ll bet a tail feather that the Shady Lady only flies because Abraham is around to keep it afloat. Powerful skills can do powerful things. Powerful skills held by legendarily powerful people can do things that are practically miraculous. What Awen is doing is fixing the issues that Abraham’s abilities are covering for. And Raynold’s as well, I suppose. He’s quite strong in his own right.”I nodded along, mostly understanding. It was true that Abraham was... Abraham, so that kind of thing was probably normal for him. And Raynold had as many classes as someone like Bastion did, which put him amongst the most powerful people around on most days.“So when you say this is good for Awen, you mostly mean because of her class?”“This is the equivalent of you walking into a castle-turned-landfill and spending a full day doing nothing but cleaning it,” Amaryllis said. “It’s the kind of event that’ll boost her levelling for her main class by leaps and bounds. That doesn’t happen everyday, and so... I’ll hold off on complaining too much about lost time.”As the night wore on, it became clear that sleep was going to be a luxury that none of us could afford. Awen and Raynold continued their laborious task with little sign of slowing down. We set up a couple of tents for those of us who were going to stay onsite, then the others left back to the Beaver. That meant that in the end, it was just me and Awen and Calamity from our friend group who stayed. The others returned to sleep in their own bunks, which was entirely fair.I found Awen sitting in front of the Shady Lady's mostly rebuilt engine, her eyes half-closed and her hands covered in grime. She was exhausted, there was no doubt about it, but there was also a glimmer of determination that stubbornly refused to be extinguished.Walking over to her, I gently touched her shoulder. "Awen," I said softly.She looked up at me, a sleepy smile tugging at her lips. "What is it, Broccoli?""You need to rest."Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!"But the race—" she began to protest, but a huge yawn cut her off mid sentence."The race is later," I insisted. "You've done enough. You've done more than enough." She opened her mouth to argue, but I held up a hand to stop her. "Awen, you're tired. And if you keep going like this, you'll be of no use during the race."There was a long pause as she looked at me, her gaze wavering before finally, she nodded. "Alright," she said. "But just for a bit."I quickly fetched a thick blanket that we’d gotten from the Beaver and a small mug of hot tea, then helped her settle down in a quiet corner. Abraham had found some ratty old couches and plopped them down to one side, a place for people to sit while he told one of his stories. Now it was a place to lay Awen down and wrap her in the blanket.I made sure she was nice and snug, then sat next to her, and arm wrapped around her back. I thought maybe we could chat a little, but before I could think of what to say, Awen’s head started to dip and I had to carefully grab her mug before she spilled it.As she snuggled into the warm cocoon I had created for her, I couldn't help but smile. Even amidst the chaos and stress of the race preparations, there was a certain peacefulness to this moment. Smoulderglen might have had a poor reputation, but it was the quietest city I’d visited. The air was warm, but it was a dry warmth that felt nice, and there was a soothingly cool breeze coming that smelled faintly of wood fires. It was the quiet before the storm, the gentle pause before the thundering roar of the airship race.With Awen safely asleep, I left her to rest and returned to the Shady Lady. There was still work to do before the race and while Awen rested, the rest of us would continue with the preparations.I cleaned up after their work. Raynold had finished up and was happy for the very little bit of help I could give him tucking tools away. Mostly taking tools back off the ship and putting them in their place and sweeping away the debris that was too big for my Cleaning magic to handle.The Shady Lady could probably use a fresh coat of paint, but at least she’d be the cleanest ship in the race, which counted for a lot. My mom used to say that if you couldn’t be pretty you should at least be clean.Just as the first rays of dawn began to break, I heard the familiar sound of my friends approaching. Caprica, Abraham, and Amaryllis trudged toward us, their hands full of steaming containers of breakfast from one of the food stalls. They all wore determined smiles, ready for the day's challenge.“I hope you're hungry, Broccoli,” Caprica greeted, setting down a container of hot buns and a flask of something that smelled suspiciously like coffee. The aroma wafted over, filling the air with a comforting scent.“I could eat,” I replied, taking a seat next to Awen's sleeping form. Amaryllis chuckled, handing over a wrapped parcel filled with some local breakfast pastry, its edges brown and crisp.As we ate, we discussed the plan for the day. Abraham would be at the helm, his expert piloting skills crucial to navigating the treacherous racing course. He had apparently studied the course in depth and had gotten very drunk with one of the organisers and into a fist-fight with some of the other racers.I wasn’t sure how the last helped, but he assured me that it did.Raynold was gonna be onboard too, of course, to do quick repairs and to fight off the competition.“What, uh, sort of race is this?” I asked.“The kind that puts you through the wringer, lass," Abraham responded, his voice muffled as he chewed on a bun. He washed it down with a gulp of coffee before continuing. “The course, y'see, it isn't just a straight sprint. Oh no, it's an avalanche of risks, challenges, and hairpin turns. Think of it as a gauntlet, only those deserving and cunning and quick enough will pass! Haha!” he continued, leaning back and gazing up at the sky. “We'll be racing through cloud clusters and treacherous wind gusts, trying to avoid sudden squalls, and navigating through floating debris. Not to mention the competition! There are no rules against a bit of friendly roughhousing here!”As Abraham described the chaos, it struck me how dangerous this race truly was. There was the excitement of it, of course, the thrill and the glory, but there was also a very real possibility of disaster. One wrong move, one delayed reaction, and it could all come crashing down. We could all come crashing down. Into the ground. Or possibly into a cliffside, or someone's house.“But... what about the officials? The city? Aren't they concerned about safety?” I asked, the nerves clearly audible in my voice.Abraham let out a hearty laugh. “Lass, it's all about the spectacle. People come to see the danger, the near-misses, the dramatic chases. Safety? That's up to each crew to maintain. Besides,” he added, his grin broadening, “there's nothing quite like the thrill of surviving by the skin of your teeth.”I looked around at our ragtag crew — Awen, still asleep but filled with a determination that was almost palpable, Caprica and Amaryllis and Calamity, their faces reflecting a mix of excitement and trepidation, and Abraham, his eyes filled with a fire that was contagious-I found myself smiling, despite the nervous butterflies in my tummy.“So, can we come?” I asked.“No,” Amaryllis said. “Not only is it foolish to even try, the teams are set from the start. There are crew limits, and we couldn’t all fit on the Shady Lady to begin with.”“Well, maybe not all of us, but a few?” I asked.Amaryllis gave me a flat look. “No, Broccoli. We’ve done what we can to help. Abraham and Raynold will have to face the race on their own.”“Haha! Don’t worry, lasses and lad! I’ve lost more races than you can imagine!”“Wait, lost?” I asked.That wasn’t reassuring at all!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighteen — Reluctantly Crouched at the Starting Line
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighteen — Reluctantly Crouched at the Starting Line As members of Abraham’s extended crew, we were allowed to view the race from some VIP seating. Or at least, that’s how the organiser that came to check up on things put it.In reality, the VIP seating was less seating and more... a place to stand near the starting line alongside the other participating teams.My friends and I, which included most of the Beaver's crew, were above the crew pits, which were near the bottom of our small hill. Big chunks had been carved out of it to give ships room to park and be repaired, and a large tower was erected in the centre.That’s where the race’s organisers were stationed so that they could have a clear view of the entire race.We sat on the bare metal scaffolding of the tower, a floor off the ground so that we had enough height to see everything while our feet dangled off the sides.The race followed a simple route. A single lap would start at the edge of Smoulderglen, circling around the city and passing over the countryside to loop back to the starting line. There would only be two laps, so the racers would need to figure things out quickly. The course was marked out by a series of balloons hanging way up in the air, with anchor-cables festooned in streamers tethering them to the ground.There was quite a crowd out, filling a long section of bleachers set parallel to the start and finishing line. The crowd was actually facing the city itself, and the stands were built atop a rise, giving them a fantastic view over Smoulderglen itself and across the entire race course, though the far end of it was far enough that it would be hard to make out any action.That’s what the announcer was for, I supposed.It helped that the airships, especially with their balloons atop them, were basically the size of a semi truck, or even a house. On such a clear day, we'd be able to see them from a long ways off. Their sheer scale meant that merely watching them form up on the starting line was impressive. It was like being at a monster truck show, only the monster trucks could fly and had balloons filled with potentially explosive gases.... Actually, this was way better than any monster truck show, I decided.There was an eclectic array of ships lined up at the start, with all shapes and sizes represented. From sleek, dart-like vessels to the sturdier, larger and more elaborate ones with intricate brass detailing or bright splashes of paint. A few of the more... piratical ships had rude words painted on their sides, and images of things that weren’t very nice. It did make them very intimidating, especially with all the spikes.The airships idled at the starting line, bristling with anticipation and only held in place by a few tethers designed to quickly be cut off at the start of the race.At least, most of the ships did. A couple were having troubles already and their pit crews were panicking about, trying to get engines started or patching up sudden holes in their balloons.Abraham’s Shady Lady was sitting around the middle-left of the pack. Her engine purred and she looked a little patched up, but still entirely functional. Awen and Raynold had done good work bringing her up to spec. I could see Abraham’s larger-than-life form on the ship’s deck. He was shouting something at a captain of the ship next to his, the friendly banter lost in the winds and in the roar of so many engines. Raynold, meanwhile, was running some last-second checks, making sure the Shady Lady would make it through in one piece.I sat up a little, stretching my head out to follow along the race track. Something didn’t make sense, and I think Amaryllis noticed my confusion. “Are you looking for someone else to bully into friendship or are you just trying to discover a new way to wring your own neck?” she asked.I grinned. “No, I’m trying to figure out the race. They’re supposed to fly between the balloons, right?”“Yes,” she said. She sounded very patient, so I knew that she was about to pounce on me with some sarcastic quibbling. Amaryllis was surprisingly cat-like sometimes, for all that she was more of a bird.“Right, but the balloons aren’t laid out in a circle, or a single path, I guess.”“I see. Or rather, you don’t,” she said with a pleased huff. Still, she decided to be helpful. “See those balloons.”I followed her pointing talon to the nearest balloons. They were some hundred or so metres off the ground, anchored in place with long cables that bowed a little under their own weight. The balloons were trailing streamers of loose, colourful cloth... and a few simple ads, too.“Yup,” I said. “Hard to miss.”“You’ll note that not all of them have those colourful flags at the bottom. Especially over there,” Amaryllis said, now pointing further out. “Once the racers have gone around once, the second set of flags will be deployed and the first will be dropped. The race course will basically change.”“Oh!” I said. This time I scanned the balloons with a fresh eye, and I saw what she meant. The first loop around the city was much smaller, sticking to the edges of Smoulderglen and flying through the more industrial sector at the back (where smokestacks and chimneys would probably be an obstacle). The second loop around went wider, out into the countryside and then sweeping around back to the start. “The second loop looks easier, even if it’s longer. Less turns and no obstacles.”“I bet there’s cheaters waiting in the woods,” Calamity said.“Cheaters?” I replied.“Well, cheaters, ambushers, pirates, people with entrenched ballista or very strong archery skills. Maybe a mage or two,” he said. Basically, mercenaries hired to knock out the competition. Maybe some bandits looking to steal a ship." He chuckled. "Though, they'll probably spend half the time fighting each other.I shook my head in disapproval. Cheating! At a race! That just wasn’t nice! Cheating was a fantastic way to lose friends. “I don’t like it,” I said.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.“Actually, it makes some degree of sense,” Caprica said. I turned towards her in disbelief. “If every team, or at least most of them, are prepared to cheat, then it more or less means that there’s an even playing field. Now, the competition isn’t just one where the best ship and crew wins, but one where the best team comes out victorious. We actually had exercises like this at the military academy I attended. Field tests against others where cheating wasn’t allowed, but it was also encouraged.”“That doesn’t make sense,” I said.“For military training, it means thinking outside of the box and preparing contingencies and plans that don’t follow arbitrary rules, which is an important lesson to learn. For a race like this... well,” Caprica gestured at the stands and the ships. “Half of the competitors look like ne’er-do-wells. I imagine the cheating is expected.”I still didn’t like it, but before I could say anything about it, the crowd across from us hushed and the air filled with an electric charge of anticipation. “It’s starting!” Awen said as she leaned forwards.“Ladies, gentlemen, children, and fans of all shapes and sizes!” a voice blasted out from above. I twisted my ears down to protect them while searching for the source of the sound. There was a floating platform above, anchored to the observation tower and surrounded by large brass cones. A tiny figure was waving to the crowd, one hand on a metallic tube just in front of his mouth. “Welcome! Welcome to the annual Smoulderglen Fireship Race!”The crowd erupted into cheers and I joined them, hollering and clapping my hands to add to the excitement.“Today, we gather to witness a spectacle like no other! Airships-from sleek, agile birds to monstrous, looming behemoths-will vie against each other for the coveted title of Smoulderglen’s fastest! The rules are simple, but this race is anything but!”He launched into a reiteration of the race’s rules, explaining about the balloons marking the course (provided by some local airship shop, he was pretty good at sneaking the sponsorship stuff into the cadence of his announcements) and how the changing flags would announce a change in the course. It sounded much grander and more dangerous when he described it, as if we weren't at the edge of a bustling city, but in a gladiator’s ring, the racers all about to go into mortal combat against each other.As the announcer finished up the rules, he pivoted smoothly to introduce the competing ships. “Now, let's meet the daring souls who have dared the odds to partake in today's daring contest!” I noticed the crews onboard the racers perking up.“First up,” the announcer's voice echoed around us, “From the notorious Red Wings, we have The Dawn Screecher, a ship as swift and deadly as the harpy call!” The airship he pointed at was sleek and streamlined, its metallic wings glinting in the sunlight. The human and harpy crew aboard cheered, waving their hats and hooting in the air as their ship's name was called.“Harpy don’t generally have dangerous voices, what is he on about?” Amaryllis grumbled.I laughed and wrapped an arm around her back. “He’s trying to make them sound cool!”The announcer moved on, his booming voice effortlessly filling the valley, “And from the daring ranks of the Ember Hounds, we present the Bellowing Beast, a warship turned racer, where dwarven ingenuity meets droll strength and human adaptability!” The crowd roared in approval as the largest airship in the race revved its many engines and sent up plumes of exhaust smoke. The ship’s hull was covered in awesome looking flames.“No, Broccoli,” Awen said.“Huh?”“We’re not painting flames onto the Beaver.”“I didn’t say anything!” I said, but Awen just shook her head. I pouted. “But it would look cool,” I muttered.Awen patted me on the back.The announcer continued to name off ships. “And, not to be missed,” the announcer's voice suddenly became more enthusiastic, “one of our consistent crowd favourites from Smoulderglen's very own, the Smokestack!”The Smokestack was an all-black blimp-shaped ship. It didn’t look like much, with a gondola fit snugly under its balloon and a few engine pods sticking out of its sides, but it had a large ballista at the front and a small crew who were waving from within the enclosed cockpit.The crowd's cheers rose into an uproar as the Smokestack fired up its engines, sending a surge of smoke spiralling into the sky. We cheered for the ship, and the announcer went on to describe the Smokestacks's past triumphs. It had won the race twice, though it was defeated the previous year by an Ember Hound ship.The rest of the racers were introduced in a similar fashion — with each getting their moment in the spotlight as their ship was pointed out, their feats (or misdeeds) highlighted, and their crews given a chance to bask in the glory of the moment.We, of course, cheered loudest when the Shady Lady came up. The announcer only mentioned that it was captained by a famous explorer and aviation pioneer. I hoped that by the end of the race the Lady would be a little more famous.“Without further ado,” the announcer's voice rose above the clamour, “On your mark, racers, prepare for takeoff!”The roar of the engines grew louder, a cacophony that made the ground beneath us rumble and the air pulse with anticipation. Across the lineup, crew members scrambled into position, pilots gripping their controls, navigators scanning their maps, engineers watching their dials."Three!" The crowd began to count along with the announcer."Two!" The cheers grew louder, matching the crescendo of engines."One!" The crowd was on its feet, anticipation filling the air."GO!" The word cut through the noise like a blade, and with a simultaneous roar, the airships surged forward, breaking free from their tethers. The Smoulderglen Fireship Race had begun.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Nineteen — Reckless and Wild, they Pour Through the Turns
Chapter Four Hundred and Nineteen — Reckless and Wild, they Pour Through the Turns Even as we were still shouting "Go!" a huge bronze cannon fired a blank into the air-the sound was like an echoing blast of thunder, drowning us out for long seconds.A dozen tethers crashed to the ground, no longer holding onto the racing ships as they bucked forwards. I cheered as the racers surged ahead, though really, they had yet to build all that much momentum.Airships were pretty fast, but they weren’t that fast, especially not from a dead start. Even with all of their engines roaring, the ships were still taking a long time to get moving.“And they’re off!” the announcer shouted.The start of the race was a slow left turn that would begin the circle around Smoulderglen. There was a bit of a dip in the landscape as well, so any ship that wanted to gain some early speed could trade height for momentum, and a few did just that.The Bellowing Beast was one of the slower ships, but as it dropped to gain speed it managed to keep in the front. The Shady Lady, meanwhile, flew straight on. It was one of the smallest ships in the race, and its large, well-tuned engine combined with its lightweight build meant that it had an easier time accelerating.That was, until the Lady made a hard turn to the side to avoid The Dawn Screecher. The harpies onboard screamed and shouted from the ship’s deck as it flew past. Probably because they were so focused on screaming at Abraham, the crew of the Screecher wasn't.Which was probably why their port-side wings smashed into the balloon of another smaller ship that was diving to gain some speed.The balloon ripped apart even as the crew of the Screecher tugged in the wing to the ship’s side. Then the port engine, jutting out on a gondola fixed to the airship’s side, skimmed right over the smaller ship’s balloon.Its propeller wasn’t so lucky.The crowd screamed in glee and panic as the Screecher’s prop tore chunks out of the smaller ship’s balloon, sending canvas and bits of lightweight wood flying all over.The smaller ship plummeted out of the sky.I gasped.“The first casualty of the race and we’re barely out of the starting stretch!” the announcer exclaimed. “The Tragic Moment goes down in flames!”Fortunately, the racers were only a dozen metres off the ground so close to the start of the race, and the ship still kept some buoyancy even as it crashed, so the crash was less an explosive disintegration and more of a hard meeting of ship and ground.One of the crashed ship’s engines exploded into flames, and I saw the crew abandoning ship with alacrity as ship fuel spread along with the fire.The crowd cheered even louder while a few horse-drawn carriages with large water tanks were rushed to the site of the crash.“Oh no,” I said as I sat closer to the edge of the girder my friends and I had appropriated.“They’re fine,” Amaryllis said. “The entire crew got out.”“That ship’s not fine,” Awen said, which was undeniably the truth. Even with firefighters on the scene, including a few water and dirt mages dampening the fire, the ship wasn’t going to be flying for a while.The race continued on, heedless of the accident, and it was clear that a formation of sorts was already taking shape. The Shady Lady took a spot in third place, with the Smokestack in the lead and another smaller ship wedged between them. Behind, the Bellowing Beast was rumbling ahead, leading the pack, and at the very back was the Dawn Screecher which had clearly taken some damage from the bump at the start but which was still flying after the others.“The Smokestack is taking the lead, proving that it’s once more the fastest boat in the air. Right behind it we have the Empty Bowl, followed by the Shady Lady! The Glorious Emissary of the Transcendent Obsidian Dragon-King is leading the rest of them behind the Bellowing Beast!”It looked like one of their crewmates was hanging off the side of the Dawn Screecher, kicking at a sail that wasn’t deploying properly so that they could manage the next turn.My friends and I stood up as the ships gained some distance and started heading around Smoulderglen. I squinted, lowering one of my ears down to give my eyes some shade from the sun.In the distance, the Smokestack was drawing out its lead, gaining more and more distance from the other racers. “Whoa, they’re fast!” I said.“Very,” Awen said. “What would I give to take a look at that engine.”I glanced at my friend, then used a bit of Cleaning magic to wipe away the drool collecting on the edge of her mouth. She didn't seem to notice, eyes focused intently into the distance. Suddenly, she gasped, and I spun to follow her gaze.The Smokestack was wobbling to the side, more smoke than usual trailing off its sides. “What happened?” I asked.“They were shot,” Caprica said. She pointed to the Bellowing Beast leading the pack of slightly slower ships. The front of the airship had opened up to reveal a large ballista with two drolls reloading it with bolts that were longer than they were tall.“The Beast is showing its fangs early this year! Sniping our local champion right out of the skies! World knows if the Smokestack will be able to recover from this!”The ballista was rearmed, then it fired, the bolt flinging ahead with enough force that the entire ship shook.The Smokestack was falling back to deal with the damage from the first bolt, and now in an eyeblink, the second bolt was halfway to the Shady Lady-"No!" I gasped or maybe shouted-An unmistakable "HA-HAH!" crashed over us, knocking my ears back and setting the metal of the tower to vibrating.The bolt collided with something too small to see and exploded in mid-air only a dozen metres from the Lady’s rear.Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.The crowd roared in shock and awe.“What was that?” Calamity asked.“Uncle must have shot down the bolt,” Awen said.“With what? I didn’t even see him carrying a weapon,” Calamity said.“His favourite weapons are pebbles,” Awen said. “He just... picks them up.”“Your uncle’s kinda scary,” Calamity said.The race didn’t stop for us to chit-chat. It was actually actively changing moment by moment. The Bellowing Beast was catching up to the lead the others had gotten near the start, especially since the leaders had to duck and weave to avoid its attacks. The Shady Lady slipped into first as the other ship in the lead got hit by a glancing blow that poked a hole through its gasbag.The racers slalomed through the maze of chimneys and smokestacks near the industrial side of the city. I held my breath as those in the lead were forced to slow down to make it through, letting the others behind them catch up.By the time they were through, the Shady Lady was back in the midst of the pack, with the Bellowing Beast surging out ahead and the Smokestack falling behind a little.The Dawn Screecher was at the rear, but it looked like it had fixed itself up and was speeding along to try and catch up with the rest.“And they’re coming around! Watch your ears kids, this is going to be loud!” the announcer shouted above.The first lap soon came to an end, the ships racing around the final stretch of the lap before roaring past.I tugged down on my ears as the overpowering wall of noise battered us. The growling engines and howling propellers combined with the frenzied cheering of the crowd to produce utter pandemonium, which was further enhanced by thick waves of dust that smothered us in the airships' wake.The crowd, at least, had a few wind mages pushing against the dust. We got blasted for a split second before I thought to push against the dust with Cleaning magic.The ships continued to shoot past until the last one had entered the second lap. The flags from the balloons marking out the first lap had dropped, and a new set rose along the route for the second lap. This time, they’d loop around the second track for the final lap, which meant going even further out and around, across forests and craggy hillsides.The Shady Lady was gaining, and the racers were starting to spread out a lot more. It was clear that a number of them just weren’t all that fast. The Bellowing Beast still kept in the lead though.Then I noticed a sort of heat-haze radiating up out of the forest that I was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. “What’s that?” I asked.Before anyone could respond, a brace of large fireballs flashed out of the woods and slammed into the Bellowing Beast’s underside, at least, the first few did. A shimmering shield appeared, covering the airship’s hull, but it was too late for the first few strikes which had already struck.“Oh! The cheaters aren’t even being subtle this year! Are they targeting the Beast because it’s in the lead, or is it the main target of their ire! Recall that the Ember Hounds took out the Red Wing’s racer last year in this very same lap!” the announcer said.The crowd cheered and booed in equal measure, so I wasn’t sure if they didn’t like the cheating or not.The Bellowing Beast continued its flight, but it had to move with its shields up. Squinting, I could just make out the form of a person hanging off the side of the ship with a wand in hand holding the shield up. That couldn’t be cheap on mana.With the lead ship distracted, a few of those behind it made a run for first place, they zipped past the Bellowing Beast and there were too many of them moving past for its ballista to do anything about it.Then more fire came from the forest in great big gouts that curved towards the ships above.The solution, it looked like, was to gain altitude to make it harder for the fire to reach them. The fireballs could only move so quickly and the ships were moving targets at a distance. It did make for a cool show, seeing the airships flying through columns of quickly dissipating fire.“They can’t keep that up for long,” Caprica said. “anti-airship magic attacks are notoriously mana-expensive.”The racers spread out, and I was happy to see the Shady Lady roaring ahead. Surprisingly, the Smokestack and the Dawn Screecher were both making comebacks in this section.Then they reached the crags.“This is where the real challenge begins!” the announcer said.“Oh no,” I said. That couldn’t be good.Just as the first ship crossed the start of the crags, a balloon shot upwards from the ground, rising rapidly into the sky and trailing a long cable beneath it. Then another rose, and another, each spread out from the rest until there were some two dozen balloons in the sky blocking the racer’s paths and rising up much higher than they could.“What are those?” I asked.“They’re barrage balloons,” Caprica said. “They have steel cables under them, to catch flyers. At the speeds they’re all moving at, a collision could be trouble.”I winced as one of the lead ships must have caught one of those cables because the balloon above it jerked down and the ship was sent spinning sideways as if struck, then some parts went flying as they were ripped off.The balloons were joined by more underhanded cheating. There must have been catapults or something hiding in the crags because large flaming rocks were soon tossed up and into the air on high arcs that could easily reach the belly of the airships above.The Bellowing Beast, struggling to regain its momentum after the fireball attacks, crashed into a cable, its shield having expired. The large ship lurched as the cable slashed its balloon, and it plummeted towards the crags below. It was too far for me to see clearly, but I thought I saw parachutes blooming from the falling ship. The crew escaped!The crowd gasped collectively as one of the front-runners disappeared from the race.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty — Speed Through the Finish
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty — Speed Through the Finish With the Billowing Beast down and out for the count, I would have expected the others to surge ahead, but the crags were massive, and they were filled to the brim with troublemakers. They loomed, deep and unseeable from where we sat, a chaotic mishmash of reddish rocky outcrops and canyons where all sorts of mischief could be hidden. The only plantlife were a few tough bushes and gnarled trees clinging to the edges.The Smokestack, having recovered from the Bellowing Beast’s attack, was now hurtling ahead into the crags, making up for a lot of its lost lead while nimbly dodging wires and fireballs from below.The Shady Lady was making good time as well. Somehow the barrage balloons in its path exploded out of the air and came crashing down before the Lady’s passing, clearing the way for her to fly straight through.The Dawn Screecher was sticking to the Lady’s rear, using the path Abraham was clearing to avoid some of the aerial traps.“The Screecher and Shady Lady are neck and neck!” the announcer hollered, leaning over the edge of the broadcast tower. “But will they survive the gauntlet ahead?”As if on cue, a hailstorm of rocks burst from the crags, flung skyward by unseen catapults. Smokestack banked sharply to the right, narrowly avoiding a near-fatal impact. Shady Lady followed suit, zipping around an incoming boulder with finesse.The attack didn't end there. More barrage balloons rose from the crags, tethered by steel cables that were nearly invisible from this far away. One ship, the Hasty Harpoon, wasn't quick enough to swerve, its balloon crumpling around a Broccoli-sized boulder that sent the ship spiralling downwards in a terrifying freefall.Just as the racers were reaching the middle of the crags and those in the lead were getting a hang of the traps, a swarm of little figures rushed up out of a canyon.“And here come the Red Wing’s red-winged fighters!” the announcer roared.“Harpies,” Amaryllis said. She squinted. “With some sort of flight magic.”The harpy rose up in a fairly tight formation, creating a net of some two dozen figures who raised what looked like a mix of crossbows and sticks to point to the incoming airships. The bolts they fired were invisible from this distance, but the magic wasn’t. Fireballs, balls of turbulent wind, light, lightning, and conjured materials mixed with the bolts to pepper the ships in the lead.The Shady Lady somehow kept flying true, spells exploding apart before they could meet her hull. The harpy scattered.They didn’t even try to attack the Dawn Screecher and I felt like shouting about the unfairness of that. They did lay into the next ship to come up.“Oh, the Humanity!” the announcer shouted.“Wait, that one’s called the Humanity?” I asked."You heard him, right?" Amaryllis gave me a weird look. "Do you need your ears checked?""No, it just reminded me of ... never mind."She huffed, and turned back to the action with a faint smirk.The once-organised race had devolved into complete pandemonium. Ships bobbed and weaved, desperately avoiding cables, rocks, and the diving harpies. The Dawn Screecher, having caught up to the pack, was showing its own fangs, retaliating against the barrage of projectiles with a volley of its own.Suddenly, a triumphant cheer erupted from the crowd. Following their gaze, my heart leaped as I saw Shady Lady breaking free from the chaos, zipping around a last barrage balloon and soaring towards the clearing ahead.“And the Shady Lady emerges from the gauntlet unscathed!” the announcer shouted. “What a sight to behold, ladies and gentlemen!”We were going to win! I cheered along with the crowd.Then something big and dark surged out of the woodline right at the end of the crags and the crowd’s cheer turned into a collective gasp.“Is that a dragon?!” the announcer squawked. He sounded like this was very much not supposed to happen.I stared. The creature did look pretty dragon-like, a big lizard with wings, but it only had two long legs, and wasn’t nearly as big as a real dragon. I’d seen that kind of creature before. Heck, I’d ridden on one. A wyvern!The creature roared, and I noticed that someone was riding on its back, a long lance held by their side as they rushed towards the Shady Lady.It felt like the world slowed down for a moment, as if everyone’s laser focus made the world itself still its breath.On the one side, the wyvern, a big one, with its rider clearly ready to stab the Shady Lady with what I imagined was a magical lance while the wyvern itself coiled its lower body around to bring its massive talons to bear.On the other, the Shady Lady, looking a bit rusty and a bit rough, but still stately in her own way.A small figure rushed across the deck of the Shady Lady so quickly that I almost missed it, then they launched off the end of her bow with a massive “Hah-ha!” that I heard clearly all the way from where I sat.My jaw went a little slack as Abraham Bristlecone jumped off the front of his airship two hundred metres off the ground, brought both arms up above his head, then swung downwards, his fists tightly balled together.His strike smashed into the wyvern’s face with a loud whump, snapping its jaw shut and sending the entire beast spinning head-over tail toward the ground below.“What,” Calamity said.Abraham fell after the wyvern, but something told me he’d be alright... probably the trailing “Hahahaha!” of laughter that faded away as he dropped right into one of the canyons.“The poor wyvern,” I said. “I hope it’s okay.”“I’m sure it’s... fine,” Caprica said.“Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t even know what to say!” the announcer bellowed. “But that was spectacular!”The Shady Lady did a hard turn, swooping around in a great big spiral and losing a lot of its momentum as it dropped over the spot where Abraham had disappeared to. Was Raynold going to pick up his friend?Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.It could cost them the race! The Smokestack was flying out of the crags already, and with no wyvern for them to face, it didn’t take much for the airship to shoot past the Shady Lady.The crowd gasped again, but not out of shock this time. The tension was high as everyone strained their eyes to see the outcome of the Shady Lady's rescue mission.There was a flash of light, then a small shape rocketed skyward from the forest. My breath hitched as I recognized the figure of Abraham Bristlecone, his body ablaze with magic as he shot back towards the Shady Lady, arms outstretched.As if choreographed, Raynold turned the airship sharply, its side lined up with Abraham's trajectory. With a triumphant cheer from the crowd, Abraham grasped the edge of the ship, swung himself up onto the deck, and saluted the crowd.Incredible as the sight was, they were well behind the Smokestack, now. The rival airship was rapidly approaching the finish line, its engines revving hard — if my friends wanted to pull out a win, they would need to close the distance fast.“Hold on to your seats, folks,” the announcer bellowed. “It's going to be a photo finish!”The Lady howled after the Smokestack, The Dawn Screecher pulling up alongside her with the rest of the more timid racers coming up in the rear.I clung, white-knuckled, to the girder we were sitting on as the ships came around the far end of the city. There was a small pit in my tummy as the obvious became only more obvious. There was no way the Lady would be winning now.The Smokestack came around and roared past the finish line. The crowd went wild, the howl of applause and cheers mixed with a smattering of boos. Even though I was disappointed that the Shady Lady hadn't won, it was hard not to get caught up in the sheer energy of the crowd.The announcer's voice broke through the noise. “And the winner of the Airlords Grand Race is... the Smokestack!” There was another round of applause, louder this time, and I saw the crew of the Smokestack pumping their fists in the air in victory.The Shady Lady followed not too far behind, crossing the finish line with grace and dignity. The Dawn Screecher was hot on her tail, while the other racers trickled in one by one.“I need to see uncle!” Awen said.We scrambled down from our perch and hurried to push through the thick crowd forming at the base of the tower. Mostly they were mechanics and crewmates of the racers. It was easy to tell which crews had placed well because they were the ones cheering the most.The announcer said something else, and there was more clapping, but it was hard to make out over the hollering and the rumble of idling airship engines.The Smokestack did a victory lap around the hill where the spectators were sitting, and that only got people more excited.The other ships were either still coming in to cross the line, or coming to a landing further out in a field dedicated to just that. Some race organisers were there, along with ground crews who were picking up the ropes tossed from above to anchor the ships down.The Shady Lady was near the far end of the space, gently lowering herself with the help of a few big guys on the ground.One of those men was Abraham. He must have ridden one of the lines down to Dirt, or maybe he just jumped off the Shady Lady.“Uncle!” Awen shouted.Abraham turned to look at us, his face breaking into a wide grin. “Ah-hah! There you are!” he boomed, catching Awen in a crushing hug as she reached him.“I saw your jump! That was amazing!”Abraham set her down, then rudely mussed up her hair. “That was nothing! You should have seen the look on the face of that lizard! Haha!”I was smiling from ear to ear. “That was so cool!” I cheered. “It was like something out of a movie!”“A what?” Abraham asked.“That’s a Broccism, you can ignore it,” Amaryllis said. “How’d the ship come out of it?” She gestured to the Shady Lady above, and I glanced up as well.She’d gained a couple of scuffs and scratches and I noticed a trio of crossbow bolts planted in the wood of her hull. Overall though, she didn’t look that bad. Better than when I'd first seen her, certainly, though I imagined that Awen and Raynold might disagree.“Few bumps and bruises, a couple of dents,” Abraham said, patting the hull. “Nothing we can't fix up with a little elbow grease. She's sturdy, our Lady. Wouldn't trade her for all the gold in the world.”“She did well,” I agreed, looking up at the grand airship with newfound respect. “You all did.”“Ah, we're second best, but it ain't the worst thing in the world. Gives us something to aim for next time.” He gave Awen’s back a firm thump, one that almost sent her sprawling. “Couldn’t have done it without you! Haha! Never came this close to winning in a race before!”“I’m proud of you all!” I said, unable to contain my excitement. It was hard not to be infected by the exhilaration of the moment.Awen grinned, rubbing her back where her uncle had thumped her. “Awa! We'll do even better next time, right, Uncle?”“Haha, that’s the spirit!” Abraham clapped Awen on the back again, but more gently this time. “With our Awen working on the Lady, we'll be unbeatable next time!”As if on cue, there was a roar of an engine overhead, and we looked up to see the Smokestack doing another victory lap. Its crew waved triumphantly at the crowd, and cheers erupted anew from the spectators.“Next time, that'll be us,” Awen vowed, her eyes on the circling ship. There was a fire in her gaze that I hadn’t seen before.“Indeed it will be, lass,” Abraham agreed, patting her on the shoulder. “But maybe it’ll be you, not us. You’ve got a ship and crew of your own, don’t you?”“Right,” Awen said.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-One — No Trophies, No Flowers, No Flashbulbs, but at Least there's W
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-One — No Trophies, No Flowers, No Flashbulbs, but at Least there's Wine The after-party very quickly got out of hand. The crews from the race, both winners and losers, didn't seem to discriminate in their celebration. The closest bar, a rustic timber establishment called the Pour House, was bursting at the seams with jubilant aircrew, locals, and fans who had come from far and wide to witness the spectacle of the race.Abraham, already several ales deep, had made it his mission to regale anyone who'd listen with tales of their almost-victory. Each rendition of the story seemed to grow more grandiose, and each time he gestured towards Awen, the mechanical miracle-worker, the crowd around them would cheer and toast to her.Awen was trying very hard to wince herself into another dimension every time a cheer went up, but lacking the ability to do that, she instead tried to match her uncle ale-for-ale.It didn’t take long before her cheeks were rosy and she was cheering along with the crowd.I had to cut her off after a while because she was having a bit of a hard time walking straight. Abraham, on the other hand, barely had a hint of red on his big old nose.The party probably continued late into the night. Smoulderglen seemed like the kind of place that knew how to throw a celebration. There were fireworks going off, as well as magical spells detonating with loud bangs into the empty skies above the city. Music filtered through the streets, though no two bards seemed to agree on the same song, which just added to the happy chaos.I might have wanted to stay out and party, but the last couple of long nights were wearing me out, and I was worried that Awen might get into a spot of trouble if we let her stick around. So my more sober friends (which included Caprica and Calamity) helped my less-sober friends back to the Beaver and into bed.The next morning, Abraham appeared at the Beaver, looking as fresh as daisies, as if he hadn’t spent the night drinking and having a fun time. Raynold, standing next to him, looked a smidge dishevelled. His suit was a little crooked and his tie wasn’t done correctly, but at least he looked entirely sober.“Haha! Rise and shine, kiddos!” Abraham said. He was carrying the propeller of the Redemption over his shoulder the way someone might carry a stick.It had taken two of us to carry that over to the pits a few days ago, but I guessed that something being heavy wouldn’t stop Abraham.“Hi!” I called out from the deck as I waved down. “Caprica and I are the only ones that are awake,” I said. The rest were sleeping off the night. I was a little surprised that Caprica was fine, actually, she’d had her share of drinks, but they didn’t seem to affect her at all. I’d just stuck to juice.Abraham responded with a hearty laugh, shaking his head, “Ah, the perils of youth! Never mind, let ‘em sleep. We have a bit of work to do here anyway.” He started up the ladder leading up to the Beaver and I waited for him at the top. Raynold had a backpack which jingled and clanged and which was obviously filled with more spare parts.“Did you bring the stuff Awen used on the Lady back?” I asked.“That’s what all this is,” Raynold said. “I’ll take the rest of the afternoon to put our older parts back in their places. Some I’ll want to replace outright, which should be easier now.”“Oh?” I asked.He nodded. “The race is over. The rush for new parts won’t be so bad, and a few ships were destroyed or damaged during the race. It’ll mean a lot more spare parts getting onto the market.”Abraham and Raynold paused at the top of the ladder. “Permission to come aboard, captain?” Abraham asked.“Please do!” I said. “Welcome aboard the Beaver Cleaver! If you want, I can give you the grand tour?”“Haha! I’d love that! But maybe we can wait until the kids are all up and at ‘em? I’m sure Awen will want to show me what she’s been up to.”Grinning, I decided to stick to a short tour of the top deck only. Raynold had come aboard already to fetch some tools and parts previously, but this was Abraham’s first time on the Beaver. His ‘hahas!’ worked as a fantastic alarm clock for all the others, so it didn’t take long before the others were up and about, though they didn’t all look happy about being awake.“How can someone be so loud,” Amaryllis complained as she pressed a talon to the side of her head.“Haha! If you’re not loud, then how will the World know you’re there!” Abraham said.Amaryllis narrowed her eyes at the big man. “That can’t make sense,” she muttered.I didn’t find out what it was she was wondering about though, since it was time for breakfast! That turned out to be a bit of a riot. We had leftovers from a dozen small meals, mostly because we’d been spending some time off the Beaver lately and grabbing food off the streets as we went.Between the clanging of pots and pans, laughter, and the constant banter, the ship came alive. I noticed Abraham and Raynold standing to one side, watching our chaotic breakfast routine with gentle smiles.“So, Abraham, you mentioned something about last night's scuffles?” I asked, attempting to direct the conversation back to last night’s events. I wanted to know what happened once we left.Abraham's hearty laughter echoed around the deck. “Ah, nothing too serious, Captain Broccoli! Just a bit of a disagreement between some overexcited folks at the Pour House. Nothing like a bit of competition to get people's blood boiling, huh?” He shook his head with a grin, his eyes sparkling with the fun memory.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.“Oh, that sounds nice,” I said.“I punched the lights of the leader of the Red Wing pirates right out! Haha!” Abraham said. “He swore eternal vengeance against me and mine!”“Uh,” I said.Raynold sighed. “If we’re lucky, the pirate won’t remember most of that. He was very drunk, and somewhat annoyed that we wouldn’t sell him the Shady Lady.”“Why would someone wanna buy your old ship?” Calamity asked. “Well... actually, I guess it did come in second, but I think that had more to do with the pilots than anything.”“Prestige, wanting to steal some good ideas, wanting the ship to be out of next year’s race,” Caprica listed off on her fingers. “I can probably come up with a dozen more ideas. And since they’re pirates, I imagine the price they offered wasn’t great.”“I recall him saying something to the effect of letting us live if we made the trade,” Raynold said.“Which is when I gave his beak a workout! Haha!” Abraham mimed a bit of shadow boxing.“Ah, you might not want to stay here for long, then,” Awen said. “They might try to steal the Lady.”“That has happened before,” Abraham said. He rubbed at his chin. “Six times, actually.”“Six?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine the Beaver being stolen once, let alone six times!“I think a few of those times were less theft and more... misplaces,” Raynold said. “Abraham only looks like he holds his liquor. Sometimes it does get to him.”“Haha!” Abraham haha’d without shame. “But speaking of the Lady. I was thinking that maybe we could follow you back to Port Royal. I have some business there, and I do love crashing weddings.”“No, you can’t crash this one!” I said. It would ruin Booksie’s magical moment, that would be super mean.“I’ll make sure that if we attend, we come in through the front door in a timely manner,” Raynold promised. “And I think I can stuff Abraham in a suit as well.”I only had to think about it for a second. “That sounds like a ton of fun!” I said. It would be nice to introduce my dragon friends to someone like Abraham. Plus I think it was always his dream to fight a dragon.Maybe I could arrange for a friendly spar?“Perfect!” Abraham said. “We’ll fly together to Port Royal then!”“It will be nice to have another ship nearby, in case of another crash,” Raynold said. “Even better, a ship that’s actually in decent condition.” He gestured to the Beaver.“Awa, before that, we need to pack up,” Awen said. “I made a mess of my tools, and I think some are still with the Shady Lady. And there’s parts that need replacing.”“How long do you think it would take to get everything back in order?” Amaryllis asked.Awen shrugged. “Half a day?”“We’re already approaching noon,” Amaryllis complained. “And taking off at night is risky at the best of times. I imagine Smoulderglen will have a number of ships departing today so the traffic will be thick. Can you manage to make it faster?”“We could leave tomorrow,” I said.“And lose another day?” Amaryllis asked. “Besides, another night here is another night of drunken reverie, which means a much-heightened chance that one of you nitwits will end up in trouble. The sooner we’re out of here, the better.”“We can probably manage it if we all pitch in to help,” I said. I recalled worrying that Awen was being overworked already. “I can organise your tools, Awen! And if you need more time, then... you need more time. We’ll leave when you’re ready.” I was happy to help... I was also really happy to get the opportunity to get Awen’s tools in order. Every time I stepped into her corner of the ship I had to resist the urge to start picking things up and sorting them away. It wasn’t dirty, exactly, because I tried to keep the Beaver nice and clean, but it was... disorganised.I didn’t complain because that was mean, and Awen did seem to have an easy time understanding her unique way of sorting tools by just shoving them into drawers at random.The rest of the day was a chaotic flurry of activity. Awen’s workspace, once a sprawling mess of bits and pieces, started to take on some semblance of order under my careful organisation. Screwdrivers found a home together, wrenches were arranged by size, and each gauge and measurement device was given its own special spot.Meanwhile, Calamity and Caprica returned from the market, arms laden with bags of fresh food and other supplies. Amaryllis was deep in concentration, pouring over the maps as she charted our course back to Port Royal. Her talons traced the routes, taking into account the wind currents, weather patterns, and possible pirate-infested airspace that we’d have to travel.We were far enough south of the area where the independent cities were that we could finally fly straight to Port Royal without having to make any more stops.As evening approached, the ship was buzzing with anticipation. The Beaver Cleaver had never looked better, the tools were organised, our stocks were replenished, and we had a clear plan of action.Unfortunately, there was no way we’d be ready to take off by evening. There was just too much to do, and tasks that we thought would take a few minutes bubbled out into hours and pushed other things back. Amaryllis eventually gave up on insisting that we work faster and we decided that we’d leave at the crack of dawn as soon as the sun hit the horizon.By the time night fell, the Beaver was ready to take off, but the crew was exhausted from the long day of post-party recovery and quick maintenance work. We made vague conversation over a hearty dinner, then went to bed earlier than usual except for a watch rotation.The next day would be a big one!
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Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Two — Sunrise Over Smoulderglen
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Two — Sunrise Over Smoulderglen We took off as the sky was brightening. From the ground, the sun wasn't up yet, but as we gained a bit of altitude, we could see farther over the horizon, and it rose up in a hurry. I waved my goodbyes to Ferrell, the older guy who’d let us use his docking space, then the Beaver continued to rise until we were some two hundred metres or so off the ground. Not that far up, really, but high enough to avoid some traffic and see any other ship coming.“I’ll hold him steady, captain,” Clive said from behind the wheel.I was thankful for that. Keeping an airship stable in flight wasn’t impossible, but it was hard to do. Clive had to carefully balance our thrust against the push of the wind while making small, minute changes in direction to keep the Beaver hovering in the same spot.I could only barely manage it, and only if the wind was steady. The winds over Smoulderglen were anything but predictable. The city was warm, and the number of small factories below spewing out smoke and steam created a lot of hot air that rose up past us. So not only did Clive have to deal with the wind, he had to keep us floating evenly by nudging the gravity engine’s output up and down.The gulf of experience between someone like Clive and myself felt so wide sometimes.“I see her!” Calamity called from the bow. He had a hand on his hat, keeping it in place against the wind. “She’s coming on up.”I followed his gaze through squinting eyes and spotted the Shady Lady gently rising out of the city. The ship seemed in good enough shape, all things considered. Raynold had found some replacements for missing parts and had patched up the damage they’d gotten during the race. With the amount of patches already on the Lady the new ones were barely visible.Raynold was on the bow, reeling in some rope and quickly looping it around to stow it while Abraham was at the helm. The grenoil looked over, then waved a hello.“Clive!” I called back. “Bring us about, facing southbound! We’ll come alongside the Shady Lady.”“Aye aye!” Clive shouted back before giving the wheel a spin. The Beaver started a slow, controlled turn away from the Lady who rose up to about the same level we were on. It took a bit to manoeuvre both ships so that they were side-by-side and flying at the same speed. I was doubly glad that Clive was at the helm when I felt all the turbulence between the ships.“Hi Raynold! Hi Uncle Abraham!” I called out over the gap.“Haha! Hello there, Broccoli!” Abraham called back. “How goes the flying?”“Fantastic so far. I think we’re the slower ship, so we’ll set the pace, it should be a straight flight from here to Port Royal. Do you have enough fuel?”“We’ll be fine!” he called back before thumping a hand onto a large tank stuffed next to the cabin at the Lady’s back. “We got an extra tank, just for the trip.”That hadn’t been there for the race. Then again, it probably weighed a heap, so it made sense to remove it. In any case, the Shady Lady was probably still much faster than the Beaver. I loved my airship, he was the best ship, but he was also a bit... non-aerodynamic.Awen came up to the main desk while wiping her hands clean on a strip of cloth. “Oh, uncle’s here,” she said. She gave Abraham a wave which he returned. The Shady Lady was already pulling ahead of us with its much better acceleration, though we were rising a little faster.“Mhm! I think I’ll set up our rotation soon. It’ll be interesting flying at night with the Shady Lady around. We might want to get some lamps out. Do... we have lamps?” We had a few here and there on the ship, magical lights that I didn’t quite understand but which provided plenty of light at night, but I was thinking more about signal lights.“I think I can work something out if we don’t,” Awen said. “You can cast a light ball spell, right?”“Yeah, sure,” I said. “I don’t know how long they last though.”“I think Sally knows how too, and Amaryllis and Caprica know as well. If they only last a few hours then we can just rotate?” Awen said, she didn’t sound super certain of her idea, but I liked it.“I’ll make sure there’s at least one person that can do that in each rotation,” I said. “Were you going to make something for the lights?”“Just a bit of glass magic. Uh, I’ll have to experiment to see what works best.”I nodded along. We had a while to do that. The lights would mostly be to help navigate at night. We didn’t want to crash into the Shady Lady.There was a lot of work to do, especially since we had just taken off. The Scallywags were out in force, and I saw Steve up in the rigging checking things out.I was just about to start helping when I noticed the Lady slowing down. Or maybe we were just catching up to her. Either way, Abraham was close to the side, and when he called out to me, I heard it loud and clear. “You were falling behind!” he called out.I feigned a gasp. “Are you challenging us?” I asked over the wind.“Haha! We’ll have you beat for speed, but maybe not when moving up! A race to the clouds!”Laughing, I agreed to the race, not expecting Abraham to immediately bring the bow of his ship up and start rising. “Clive!” I called back. “We need to climb!”“Captain?” he called back. “We are?”“No, I mean, faster! Let’s show Abraham what the Beaver can do!”“Alright, captain!” Clive chuckled, rolling his sleeves up and tightening his grip on the wheel. “Everyone prepare for rapid ascent!”Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.The Scallywags caught on to what was happening, and their cheers echoed across the deck as they prepared for the impromptu race. The Beaver, in all its non-aerodynamic glory, seemed to rise more eagerly now. Our thrust increased and the nose of the ship pointed towards the soft, golden-touched clouds of the morning sky.With the sun still kissing the horizon to our right, the Beaver felt like it was climbing above the sun’s light. Smoulderglen was starting to shrink behind us. I clung to the railings, letting the wind whip through my hair and ears and letting the thrill of the race fill me with giddy excitement. The rush of adrenaline was electric."Calamity! How're we doing?" I called to the catfolk who was still handing out by the bow.He squinted, eyes darting between the Beaver and the Shady Lady. "Pulling ahead!" he hollered back, his voice barely audible over the rush of wind. "Keep pushing!"A few tense minutes passed, the sound of the engine working overtime filled the air. The Shady Lady, sleek and fast, fell by as we continued to rise. Then it disappeared as we hit the clouds. A few more minutes, and we broke through the topmost layer of clouds, their puffy white texture contrasting sharply against the clear, azure sky.Victory!“Alright, everyone, let's ease off,” Amaryllis called back to Clive as she walked onto the deck. “No need to burn all our fuel before the journey’s even begun.”Clive did as she asked, letting up on the gravity engine and levelling off our flight. For a moment, I felt suddenly buoyant as the pressure of our ascent let up. I saw the Shady Lady burst out of the clouds some ways ahead. It was still the faster ship, at least when it came to horizontal flight.“Did you have your fun?” Amaryllis asked.“I did!” I said with a grin.The day transitioned smoothly as we sailed towards Port Royal. The sun climbed higher in the sky, casting a warm glow over the ship's deck and turning the white clouds beneath us into a gleaming sea of cotton. The Shady Lady stayed at a steady distance, sometimes pulling ahead, sometimes falling behind.Awen was hard at work, her brow furrowed in concentration as she manipulated shapes and forms with her glass magic. She was meticulously crafting a new one, her fingers moving with practised ease as she moulded the glass.Every now and then, she would pick up a sphere and inspect it for imperfections. Sometimes, she would nod in satisfaction, while other times, she would furrow her brows even more, place the sphere back on the deck, and continue her experimentations.“How are your experiments coming along?” I asked some time after lunch.She looked up, brushing a lock of hair from her face. “I think I’m getting there,” she replied, holding up one of the spheres to the light again. It threw a mesmerising pattern of light across her face. “If I can perfect the shape of the sphere, then it won’t change the way light is dispersed. That way, it can protect the lightball within. The spell isn’t very strong. We should find a way to place some of these on the Shady Lady too. Us being visible is nice, but we might run into Uncle’s ship in the night.”“I’m sure Raynold at least will pay attention,” I said. “Do you need help sticking this onto the Beaver?”Awen shrugged, accepting the help without complaint, though it mostly amounted to me carrying the globes she’d already made while she fashioned some brackets out of magically summoned glass to hold them in.When evening came around and we were all filled up and those of us not on early watch were thinking of bed, it came time to light the signal globes, which proved to be a problem.“Obviously, the lights on the bow should be white,” Amaryllis said.Caprica next to her nodded. “To tell other ships that it’s our front.”“And the rest of the lights?” I asked.“The port and starboard should be different colours, to let others know which direction we’re facing at a glance,” Amaryllis said.“Oh! I get it, that’s clever. Which colours?”“Blue and yellow,” Amaryllis said.“Green and red,” Caprica said at the exact same time.They glared at each other. “Blue and yellow are the standard around the Harpy Mountains,” Amaryllis said.“And green and red are the international standard for signal lights,” Caprica countered tersely.In the midst of their squabble, Awen let out a sigh of defeat. “This is exactly why we need to standardise this across the Kingdoms,” she said, shaking her head.I let my friends squabble for a while, because while they were arguing, they were both enjoying it, and it seemed kind of pointless to me. “Right, Amaryllis, you have first watch. So blue and yellow. Caprica, you have the morning watch, so green and red,” I said with a nod. “I’m in the middle watch. So... turquoise and... pink!”That didn’t solve the argument at all.The night passed without incident, with Awen's newly crafted lights illuminating the Beaver in a soft glow. Despite the brief conflict over the colours, they served their purpose, clearly marking our position and direction in the dark. I spent my watch relishing in the crisp, cool air of the night, and maintaining a vigilant eye on the compass. It was a peaceful night, where the only sounds were the whispers of the wind and the hum of the ship's engine.Following my watch, I retired to my bunk to catch a few hours of sleep before dawn. The day had been long, and the soft rhythm of the Beaver's flight lulled me into a deep sleep.The sudden chaos of the early morning shattered my rest. I was not expecting to be yanked from my dreams by the harsh shout of 'Pirates!'
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Three — Awake at the Witching Hour
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Three — Awake at the Witching Hour I flew out of my room while tugging my armoured skirt on and hugging my cuirass under an arm. By the time I reached the stairs leading up to the main deck I had cinched my belt on and was starting to squeeze into my chestpiece when I realized I’d run out of my room barefoot.I hesitated for just a moment at the edge of the stairs. Did I have time to get my boots on? Could I fight without them?There were some noises behind me, the others not on watch coming awake.Another call of ‘pirates!’ from above.“Ah, shoot,” I swore before fiddling my armour on and running up the steps. Without my gambeson on beneath, the cuirass was loose and uncomfortable, as if I was wearing one of my dad’s too-big shirts or something, only it was made of cold metal. “Where are they?” I asked as I ran onto the deck. There was barely any light to work with. The clouds above masked a quarter moon, and there was nothing to see beyond the deck of the Beaver and the circle of light created by our navigation lights.I recognized the voice of the one calling out the alarm. Gordon was running across the bridge between decks, looking a bit panicked. “Captain!” he said. “Pirates on our starboard stern, I spotted three ships.”“How close?” I asked.He shook his head. “Two klicks, captain, but they’re closing. Could be more of them, visibility isn’t great and there’s clouds.”I ran past him, feet thumping along until I was stopped by the rails on the starboard deck. My upper half dangled off the edge of the ship as I looked back.It took some squinting to see the first of the ships, but I spotted it soon enough. It was hard to tell the size of an airship with nothing around it for scale, but I judged it to be a bit bigger than the Beaver, at least in length. The balloon was a dull grey, which hid it well within the clouds, but it had a red blotch on either side of the balloon that gave it away.The other two took me a while longer to spot, they were flying a little lower, and some cloudy pillars obscured them partially.“How do you know they’re pirates?” I asked Gordon as he joined me.He pointed a talon towards the ships. “They have markings. Don’t you see them?”“The red things?” I asked.He nodded, then realisation flashed in his eyes. “Ah, right, harpies have good eyesight for this kind of thing,” he said. “Sorry captain. They’re Red Wing pirates. All of their ships have their markings.”“Are you sure they’re after us?” I asked. Maybe the pirates weren’t the bad sort of pirate and they were just heading off to adventure in the same general direction as us?“They’re gaining altitude,” he said. “And heading our way.”I sighed and pulled myself back. “Keep flying us straight and keep an eye on them, I’ll make sure everyone’s awake. Then we’ll prepare the Beaver for a fight if we need it.”“Aye!” Gordon said before running off to the poop deck and the helm. He wasn’t supposed to be the only one on the morning watch. Awen was supposed to be up too. Then again, she might just be working on something. One of the Scallywags was meant to be up too. Joe, I thought. As I started to run back to the other end of the ship I noticed him up by the helm. So he wasn’t napping on duty, that was good.I ran back to the port hull, then towards the cabin at the back only to meet Amaryllis in the entrance. “What’s going on?” she asked.My best harpy friend looked dishevelled and still more than a little tired. She was in her PJs still, but had her dagger-wand in talon. “Pirates,” I said. “Red Wing Pirates, they’re coming up behind us,” I said before squeezing past her.“Where are you going?” she asked.“To wake the others and get dressed!” I said.Amaryllis said a few words that weren’t fit for proper company and then ran down after me only to dart into her room.I banged a fist against every closed door. “Wake up! It’s an emergency! Red alert! This is not a drill! All hands to battle stations!” I called as I knocked on each, then I ran into my room and started to prepare properly. That meant throwing off my armour which bounced on my undone bed, then grabbing a shirt and then my gambeson and slipping into it.Usually getting dressed took me a couple of minutes every morning. It wasn’t hard or anything, but in the rush I was making silly mistakes that I didn’t usually make. Still, I don’t think I’d ever gotten ready so quickly before.I grabbed my captain’s hat, then secured it firmly on my head before picking up Weedbane and tugging my boots on.I was as ready as I could be.Bursting back into the corridor, I almost ran into Caprica, who was striding by while securing a sword to her hip. “Captain Bunch,” she said, sounding far more formal than usual. “I heard you had a pirate problem.”“A probable pirate problem,” I said. “It might be nothing, but...”“Rather safe than sorry,” Caprica said with a firm nod. “Let’s go see what we can do.”“Not without me,” Amaryllis said as she stepped out of her door while tugging her coat on.“Of course!” I said. “I wouldn’t want to tangle with pirates without my friends!”We made it onto the deck and Amaryllis looked around. “The lights are still on,” she said. “Where’s Awen?”“I haven’t seen her yet,” I said.“I’m going to start removing the lights on this side, get Awen, we’re going to need her. Caprica, can you start with the lights on the other side?”Caprica nodded, then jogged over to the other deck. It made sense, the lights were fairly bright, casting the deck and the underside of the balloon above in greens and reds. The entire point of the lights was to make us visible at night, which was great for safety — but which I now realized might also attract pirates, in the same way a lamp attracts moths.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.Awen showed up while I was removing the lights on the rear deck. “Broccoli, what’s going on?” she asked.I glanced back and noticed that she was dressed for work, her long coat off and replaced by a sweater with rolled up sleeves. “Pirates,” I said. “We’re taking the lights off to hide in the dark better.”“Oh... oh no,” Awen said. “Where are they?”I pointed back and down. “You can see them. They’re getting a little closer. Do you think you can do anything to help?”“I can push the engine harder for a while,” Awen said. “We’ll move faster.”That wasn’t a bad idea. The best way to avoid the pirates was probably to outrun them now and hope that they’d lose us in the cloud cover. “Alright, you do that. I’m going to check the charts. Do you know of a way to talk to your uncle?”“Where’s the Shady Lady?” Awen asked while glancing around as if the ship would swoop out of the night sky.“I don’t know,” I said. But it couldn’t be too far. There was a faint buzzing echo in the air, a sure sign that the Lady’s engine was still going. The problem was pinpointing the direction the noise was coming from. Above? They were probably just out of sight and hidden by our balloon. “We need to let them know about the pirates.”“Maybe we shouldn’t,” Awen said.I looked at her. “Why not?”“Because Uncle will want to do something about them,” she said.“Ah.”Yeah, I could imagine Abraham leaping off towards the pirates with nothing more than a ‘haha!’ “I’ll see if Amaryllis can manage something,” I said.Awen nodded, then ran off to do her work. I checked the helm and noticed that Clive was now standing next to the wheel, lighting his pipe while Joe hung on and kept us flying straight. That was good, Clive was the best pilot we had, so if he was by the wheel, things were going to be alright.My heart was pitter-pattering harder than ever as I jumped ahead and jogged over to where Amaryllis was stacking the lights in a crate. “We need to get a message to Abraham,” I said.Amaryllis nodded. “Makes sense. Go ask Caprica.”“Caprica?” I asked.“She’s the one with the most military training. I know a few spells that can relay messages, or we could use a light code to send a message, but she has better spells and more experience with them than I do.”“Oh... that’s surprisingly humble.”Amaryllis stopped her work to give me a look. “It’s not a question of humility, it’s a question of common sense, something that I’m aware you are very unfamiliar with.”I grinned. It was nice to have Amaryllis calling me an idiot. Comforting, really.With my heart beating out a staccato rhythm in my chest, I sprinted across the deck, dodging crew members as they hurried about. Caprica was busy at the other side of the deck, methodically unplugging the lights and stacking them in another crate. As I approached her, she glanced over at me, the glowing orbs reflected in her dark eyes.“We need to get a message to Abraham,” I panted, leaning against the railings as I tried to catch my breath.Caprica raised an eyebrow, her hands pausing for a moment. I quickly explained the situation. When I finished, Caprica was silent for a moment, her eyes staring off into the distance. Then she nodded. “I can help with that. I have a decent spell that can send messages over a short distance.”“Does it need anything special?” I asked.“Just that the receiver be willing to accept the message,” she said. “I think it might be best to target Raynold first. He seems the more... reasonable of the pair.”I bobbed my head in a nod. That made perfect sense to me. “Okay... can I leave you to it?”She sniffed. “Of course. I have always taken my duties seriously. You might want to find someone to take care of these lights. For what little it’s worth. The sun will be rising within the hour.”“The pirates might reach us before then,” I said. I couldn’t, and didn’t want to, hide the worry in my voice.“We’ll be fine,” Caprica said. “Probably. Most of us can put up a better fight than the average merchant. They won’t be expecting the amount of trouble we bring. Find someone for the lights, I’ll get to casting.”I kinda wanted to stay and see the spell at work, but she was right, I needed to get to work. I bounced my way back up to the helm, then tapped Joe on the shoulder and told him to go help with the lights before I turned to Clive. “What should we do?” I asked the pipe-smoking harpy.Clive exhaled a cloud of fragrant smoke, his gaze steady on the pirate airships in the distance. “We can try and outrun them, but our ship isn't the fastest and they'll most likely catch up to us. We can try and fight them off, but we don't know how many of them there are or how well-equipped they are. Or we can try to outsmart them.”“I don’t know if I’m smart enough to do that,” I admitted.Clive chuckled. “No worries, captain. Pirates are hardly known for their smarts. Cunning, yes, but not smart.” He took another puff from his pipe. “We could try to lose them in the clouds. Still dark out. We can dip into the clouds, turn hard, then go quiet and coast along as much as we can.”I bit my lip, thinking. Running seemed to be the best option, especially if Awen could give us more speed. But if we couldn't outrun them... “Let's start with the clouds,” I said, finally. “If we can lose them, we can avoid a fight. And if not, we'll be ready to face them.”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Four — A Pirate's Life for Thee, But Not for Me
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Four — A Pirate's Life for Thee, But Not for Me The Beaver plunged into a wall of clouds and came rushing out of the other side.We weren’t moving as quickly as we could, but at some point we’d taken a slight turn eastwards and started to drop a little. The act of dropping gave us a nice boost in speed to make up for the fact that our engine was off.The plan was simple to execute, and for the moment the Shady Lady was keeping up with it.I stood on the poop deck at the rear, my attention almost entirely on the sky behind us. We should have dropped to be at about the same level as the pirate ships had been at.In any fight, height was a major factor. It could be traded for speed, of course, but also the underside of airships were a lot tougher than their tops, at least in most cases. We could sling spells down a lot easier than we could send them up, in any case.“I can’t see them,” Calamity said as he came up next to me. He had his dwarven-made bow next to him, strung and ready to fire, as if the clouds would part and reveal a whole armada of pirates.“Good,” I said. “Hopefully we won’t be seeing them at all.”I glanced east, along our direction of travel, then had to shield my eyes from the horizon. The sun was rising on the other side of the Harpy Mountains, painting the edges in a bright golden hue. In a few minutes it would be high enough that we wouldn’t be in the mountain’s shadow anymore.When that happened, there would be no hiding from the pirates anymore. So I crossed my fingers and hoped really hard that they’d continued on straight and hadn’t noticed our turn.If we could make it to Mattergrove, then we might be able to avoid engagement. Or if we continued eastward for long enough.The maps showed that there was a big empty space with no notable cities from the north of Mattergrove (where Greenshade was) all the way to Smoulderglen. That was a big space that probably wasn't patrolled by anyone-a big space we were right in the middle of.The edges of Mattergrove might have patrols ... maybe. Awen’s home country wasn’t very rich, and their airships were apparently not the greatest. Plus, their northern border didn’t matter that much to them since there probably wasn’t much trade going this way.Our best bet, if we wanted to run into some help, was east. The harpies did have good patrols. Most of them would be on the other side of the mountains, but Amaryllis said that there was an important road that hugged the foot of the mountains which would definitely be protected. It was the trade route from Mattergrove and Deepmarsh all the way north, and since those traders paid the harpy tolls to pass there, the route had to be mostly free of pirates.It was only the ships that ventured further out and away from the mountains, in the place where we happened to be, that were at risk of piracy. In exchange, those same ships wouldn’t have to pay any tolls to the Harpy Mountains.At the moment, I wouldn’t have minded any amount of tolls just to have a bit of help in the skies.I took a deep breath and let it all out.“Stressed?” Calamity asked.“Yeah, a little,” I said.“That’s normal. I’m always a little worried before a big hunt. N’ya wouldn’t be normal if n’ya weren’t a little worried too.”I laughed. “Thanks, Calamity. I guess I am a little stressed. I think if it was just one ship, we could take them on. Two... maybe we could scare them off. But three? And... and it’s pirates. The bad kind.”“The bad kind?” Calamity asked. “Not the first time I hear n’ya say ‘the bad kind’ in relation to pirates. Don’t know if there’s a good kind.”“There should be,” I said. “Look, pirates are free, they’re people who aren’t tied to, like, a government or something like that. They can just go out and explore and see nice things. Like a family. Maybe they can fight bad guys and monsters and help people along the way.”“That doesn’t sound like pirates,” Calamity observed.“I know,” I said. I crossed my arms. “I’m not very mature, am I?”Calamity shrugged. “Yet everyone recognizes n'ya as the captain. Ya think I'd have stayed on if I thought n'ya were incompetent?” He gave a crooked smile. “Maybe you're a little less experienced than a captain ought to be, but I guess I wouldn't know! First ship I've served on, after all.”Ah, that was true, wasn't it? Calamity usually seemed pretty on top of things, so it'd slipped my mind.“But experience isn't the same thing as maturity, n'ya know? And I don't think you're immature. A bit naive, yeah, and n'ya have a weird way of seeing things, but bein' optimistic ain't bad.”I shared a smile with Calamity. “Thanks. I know the world’s not fair. It doesn’t stop me from wishing it was a nicer place. Look at the pirates. Three ships. That’s a lot of crew. A lot of people that all decided that what they wanted to do was hurt people for a living. That’s awful.”“People can be pretty awful.”“Yeah, I know. But I wish they were only awful when they didn’t have any other choice. If these pirates can be pirates, then they have the skills to be something better.”“I don’t know, some people just don’t care that much, or they don’t see the world the way you do, or maybe they don’t have a choice. I don’t know.” Calamity leaned onto the railing at the very back of the Beaver focus still on the skies behind. “I see your friends and I can’t help but think that I don’t quite fit in.”“Huh?” I asked. “Not because you’re a cat person, I hope?”Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.“Nyah, not because of that. The crew’s weird enough that I’m barely a blip.” His ears wiggled in the holes made for them on his hat. “But you’re all the sort of folk that stories are made of.”“I don’t think we’re that special,” I said.He looked at me. “You have two nobles, a princess from different nations, and a riftwalker, a crew of experienced sailors from the Harpy Mountains and... well, I suppose I might fit in with the Scallywags, but they’re just kids.”“I’m sure you’re just as special as any of us. It’s silly to think that you’re not at least a little.”Calamity grinned. “Oh, I know I’m special. I’ve known that for a good long while. But I’m not talking so much about the past of the folk here. It’s the attitudes. Even Amaryllis, as stuck up as she is, sees the world as either just or unjust, and she wants to make it more just. Most people see plenty of problems and might complain about them, but they don’t do much to fix them. This crew’s different that way.”“Oh,” I said.I supposed that was kind of true. But I wasn’t sure if we really did all that much to help. We could have done more before. We could do more now, but instead we were southbound to attend a wedding of all things. A wedding which might be foiled by someone mean, but still.“I don’t think we’re heroes. Or at least, I don’t think we’re choosing to be heroes or anything like that.”Calamity hummed, gaze still on the horizon. “Maybe not heroes... well, Abraham kind of fits the image, I guess. But you’re good folk doing good things for the right reasons, and I think that counts for a lot. I don’t think that way so much.”I gave him a hug, because it felt like the right thing to do at that moment, and Calamity chuckled, his arm twisting around to give me a pat on the back.“Thanks, captain. Do you feel better now?”I blinked. “Did you try to make me make you feel better so that I’d feel better myself?”There was an evil spark in his eye. “I’m a hunter, captain, I do what I need to get my quarry, even if that quarry’s the captain’s stress.”“I don’t know if that’s mean or not,” I said.Calamity laughed, then his laughter turned into a sigh. “Looks like being mean might be on the menu.” He pointed, and I followed to see something in the sky. Three somethings, I suppose.The pirate ships were about even with us, maybe a little higher. Either they’d climbed or we levelled off lower than they had. It didn’t matter. They were wheeling around into a wide turn in our direction.It looked like they were about three or so kilometres away. So we had gained some distance, but the clouds were parting and they’d caught sight of us. It was hard to hide a ship as colourful as the Beaver without night.I turned. “Stations, everyone!” I shouted. “Get the engine back on! Full speed ahead!”We had widened our lead, if only a little bit. But even that much would help a lot. Plus, they were still turning in our direction, which would give us a bit more time to get up to speed.The Beaver jolted as the engine kicked to life with a loud bang. The propellor at the back started to spin, at first lazily, but it quickly picked up until I could feel the wind being sucked into it from where I stood.I ran up to Clive. “Is there anything we can do to go faster?” I asked.Clive raised his head and let out a long plume of pipesmoke. It blew out ahead of him for a bit before pulling back towards the propellor. He nodded. “Wind’s at our backs. It’ll be at theirs too. Put out every bit of sail we have and we might catch some of it.”“Got it!” I said before turning towards the deck. “All sails to full! Deploy everything!”It wasn’t a bad idea, not just because it would give us a little boost, but also because the pirates would see the sails and might be tempted to deploy their own.That would make it harder for them to fight, or try something like a boarding action. At least, I hoped it would.I jumped out ahead and ran over to where Oda was grunting as he pulled on a rope. Together we managed to deploy one of the side-rudders until its canvas snapped in the wind.Soon every sail was out and I realized that I had nothing to do. I stood there, ready to act, but... there wasn’t anything productive for anyone to do. The Beaver would either outrun them, or it wouldn’t.Instead of fidgeting too much, I walked back to the helm and kept my eyes on the pirate ships. It was hard to tell, at first, but they were gaining on us.Minutes turned into what felt like hours as we strained our eyes at the distant trio of ships that seemed to grow larger. The sun was now high in the sky, giving away our position, while the golden light highlighted the black sails of our pursuers, making the already tense chase turn ominous.Caprica joined me, wearing her full military regalia and looking super imposing in it. She squinted at the pirate ships. “Roughly two hours,” she mused.“Two hours?”“Until we’re at the furthest range you could expect to land a ballista hit,” she said. “Another half-hour... less, and we’ll be within firebolt range. It probably won’t be that long, actually. Our engine’s at the rear, it wouldn’t be hard to hit the prop.”“Oh,” I said. The western edge of the Harpy Mountains was half a day away, at least, even with the wind at our backs and at the pace we were going. “If we can’t outrun them, then what?”Caprica's icy eyes narrowed as she considered the question. “If we cannot outrun them, then our only options are to outfight them or to surrender.”I really didn’t like those options.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Five — Full Broadside
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Five — Full Broadside “Hard to starboard!” I shouted.“Hard to starboard!” Clive repeated as he sent the wheel spinning.On the deck, the Scallywags and our harpy crewmates rushed to pull in the sails that we’d been deploying earlier.The Beaver took a hard turn to the right, the entire deck shifting underfoot so hard that I had to shift my stance to stay standing. Our turn was probably unexpected for the pirates chasing after us. We had slowly been climbing for a while, and the Red Wings had followed suit. It meant that our speed dropped a little and it meant that they’d have an easier time catching up.It sucked, but if we were going to fight no matter what, and if we had the choice, it was probably best that we decide when the fighting happened.Of the three pirate ships, one was quite large, twice as long as the Beaver and just as wide, with a massive balloon above it and a dozen engines sticking out on stalks along its sides. It had metal plates bolted to its sides and seemed like it had been in plenty of scuffles. The figure head at the front was a rather undressed harpy woman, her talons wrapped around a banner with the ship’s name. The Red Scourge.The Scourge was to the far left of the Red Wing formation, and our turn would take us away from it and closer to the other two ships.These were a bit more reasonable in terms of size. One was half again the Beaver’s length, but was much thinner, the Firestrike.The third, the Red Whale, was a little longer that the Beaver, a ship entirely contained within a single large balloon, with only some protruding decks on the side and a gondola on the bottom for the crew.They had something of a naming theme going on.“Get ready!” I shouted to the starboard deck even as I rushed over myself.Amaryllis, Caprica and Calamity were on the deck, all three looking very serious and ready for trouble.Then the floor shifted and Awen’s rapid-firing crossbow turret click-clicked out of the hold below and slowly turned to face our right.“Don’t put all of your power in your first shot, use it to range,” Amaryllis suggested.I swallowed. “Okay,” I said.Our turn, as hard as it was, still took some time to finish. By the end of it, we were perpendicular with the Red Whale, the ship on the far right of the Red Wing formation. Our kilometre-long lead was growing shorter every second. Clive knew what he was doing, though.I turned and looked past the other side of the ship. The Shady Lady was keeping even with us, using the Beaver’s balloon to stay out of sight.The plan was simple, and we were all pretty sure it wouldn’t work, but we had to try something.“Here goes nothing,” Calamity said. He nocked an arrow onto his bow, put a foot on the railing ahead of him, then grunted hard as he pulled the string way back. The entire bow creaked and bent from all the force he was putting into it.The Red Whale came a bit closer.Calamity loosed.There was a loud thwack as the arrow shot away so fast that all I could see of it was a faint blur. I squinted towards the approaching ship and caught sight of the arrow arcing down before it punched into the very front of the balloon.“Nice shot,” I said.“Mhm,” he said as he reached into his quiver. “Now we can start making it interesting.” He held an arrow up and stared at it for a moment. Then the tip started to glow.I looked closer, and realized that there were threads of mana wrapped around the head. A spell? But one that didn’t look entirely ready to cast. “What’s that?”“Nothing too special,” he said. “It’s just a spell for lighting campfires. But with a trigger so that it goes off on contact.”“Hmm, clever,” Amaryllis said. “A way to extend the range of a spell with a weak range. I wish I had time to study the trick.”“Maybe later!” he said before he pulled the string back again. This time I had an easier time keeping track of the arrow since it glowed faintly. When it hit the balloon there was a small flash, then I noticed a small wisp of smoke rising up and away from the canvas.“It’s probably treated to be fireproof,” Amaryllis said. “It’s an expensive treatment, and most civilian ships don’t bother with it, but since they’re pirates, it only makes sense.”“Is there a way around it?” I asked.“It’s an alchemical solution that’s brushed onto the canvas,” Amaryllis said. “Get it hot enough and it will burn regardless.”“Is it worth continuing?” Calamity asked.“Holes are holes,” Amaryllis said. “Punch enough of them into the canvas and the sacs beneath and they’ll start losing their buoyancy. Do you have other elements?”“I can make an arrow burst as an airball after piercing into something,” Calamity said. “We used to do that to make fruit explode. You can do it to something you’re hunting too, but it’s counter-productive. If you’re hunting you want the meat intact, not spread out over a dozen paces.”“Do that. If it goes off within the ship then the pressure may break some things,” Amaryllis said.Calamity nodded and cast a spell on another arrow.The Red Whale was still approaching, turning slowly as it went. It looked as if it was trying to turn hard enough that we’d be parallel when we inevitably came within closer range, but Clive was manoeuvring us so that we wouldn’t have to worry about that too much.It’s what came after we crossed their T that I worried about.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.Calamity’s next arrow struck and there was a faint and distant ‘paff’ sound. The arrow had left a hole in the canvas large enough that I could have stuck my head in it. “Nice!” I cheered.“It’s close enough,” Amaryllis said. She raised her dagger wand towards the ship, then started to murmur something under her breath. I felt the little hairs on my arm start to rise and took a slight step back and away from Amaryllis as her dagger wand started to glow. The air around her snapped and cracked, little flickers of static electricity going off.Amaryllis grinned, and I felt the mana in space around us rushing in towards her. “Close your eyes!” she shouted.I did what she said and pulled my ears down for good measure.There was a catastrophically loud crack and my vision went white even though my eyes were closed. The air warmed up around me and I felt all of the hair that had risen fall back down a moment before a wash of cool air came in to fill the gap.When I opened my eyes, I saw Amaryllis lowering her wand. It was smoking.I turned towards the Red Whale and gasped.There was a long, snaking line burned across its side, with hundreds of little capillaries moving out of it and spreading across the canvas. The thicker line eventually reached one of the long stalks sticking out of the balloon on which the ships engines were mounted.The engine was on fire.“The gondola acted as a lightning rod,” Amaryllis said simply. “We’ll have to keep that in mind if we try another spell like that. No sense wasting our power by hitting the same spot twice.”I blinked a few times. There were still spots in my vision, but they were fading quickly. The flaming gondola was an impressive sight to see, but it was far enough away from the main part of the ship that it didn’t look like the fire would spread from one to the other.“Nice hit,” Calamity said. “Think that’ll slow them down?”Amaryllis hummed, then started to count the engines on the side of the ship. They were much smaller than our engine, of course. “Four to a side, that’s eight small engines. I don’t have the mana for eight spells like that. Though I imagine only taking out a few more would cut their manoeuvrability in half. That’s the advantage of ships with multiple engines like that, there’s a level of redundancy that we can’t afford with just one engine.”“Right,” Calamity said.“Three hundred metres,” Caprica said. “We’ll be within the longer range of smaller spells soon.”“How’s your mana?” I asked Amaryllis.“Fine. That took out about half, but I regenerate quickly,” she said. “Don’t worry about me, I can pace myself.”I nodded. That had been an impressive spell, I was sure the pirates were rethinking how easy of a target we’d be now!It was time for me to do my part. I moved up to be closer to the railing, then looked at the distant ship. “I don’t imagine that Cleaning magic will help much,” I said.“It’ll save them some time cleaning the decks, maybe,” Calamity said. He nocked another arrow and let loose. He had a small stack of arrows to work through so there wasn’t any reason for him to hold back.I frowned, then used the only other spell I knew how to use fairly well, fireball! One day I’d get proper fireballs, with the huge explosions and everything, but for now I’d just pepper the pirates with little fist-sizes bursts of flame.I reached out towards the Red Whale and prepared my first brace of them, putting a little bit more mana than usual into the spell so that they’d cross the distance without trouble. Next to me, Caprica did the same thing.We fired at the same time, and I looked at her firebolts with a bit of envy. They moved a lot faster and were brighter. Then again, she probably had more training and time to practice with the spell than I had.The little balls of fire splattered against the distant ship, and it was hard to tell if they were doing anything.“You’ll have to hit the same spot a few times to burn through the canvas,” Amaryllis said.“That sounds hard,” I said. The airship was a big target, but it was far away, and when I’d fired my brace of fireballs half of them zipped right past the ship, missing it entirely.“There’s a psychological effect too,” Caprica said. “Those onboard will know that we’re attacking them and that we’re not stopping.”“Exactly,” Amaryllis said. “I’ll be at the bow, I want to see if I can’t get a better angle to the engines on the opposite side. If we dip lower, I might try to hit the forward gondola. It’ll give their crew a nice shock.”I paused between castings to look at the other ships. The Firestrike was turning, and it looked like it was going to cut in behind the Red Whale. The Red Scourge meanwhile, was only just starting to turn. A ship that large couldn’t be all that manoeuvrable.“Hey, what’s it doing?” Calamity asked.I focused ahead again, then blinked. A section of the canvas at the front of the Red Whale was opening up. It looked almost as if the ship now had a mouth, which was all kinds of strange. Within the opening was a deck, with a few crewmates and... “Oh no,” I said.A massive ballista was fixed within the ship, with the opening giving it a fairly wide arc to fire from, and it was aiming right at us.A loud thawng sounded, and I ducked by reflex as a ballista bolt shot past.It missed the Beaver going a little low, but it had come closer than I liked.“Stop gawking and keep firing!” Amaryllis shouted. “We need to take that thing down!”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Six — There is Only Open Fire and Reload
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Six — There is Only Open Fire and Reload The fight between the Beaver and the Red Whale continued on, and with every passing moment, it became a tougher struggle.“Watch your eyes!” Amaryllis warned before she levelled her wand at the ship again.There was another powerful crack of thunder. This time, I only covered my eyes a little, so I got to see her spell strike at the bigger airship.It collided with a shield a few metres away from the Red Whale, but Amaryllis’ magic was so strong that the shield bowed and the spell went on to burn an arcing line across the ship’s bow. Bits of the ship’s canvas were torn open now, letting us peek into the gasbags within.“Damn,” Amaryllis muttered.“That was still a good hit,” I said as I blinked the spots away. Aimed as best I could at the other ship and fired off a brace of little fireballs. None of them slipped into the opening Amaryllis had cut, but if I kept firing, eventually one would, and then there would be damage within the ship.“I was aiming for their ballista,” she groused.There was another distant thwang and then a hard crack as something struck the Beaver.I ran up and leaned over the side to see what had been hit. There was half of a metre-long bolt sticking out of the side, just about where the sleeping quarters for the crew were. One of the planks there was smashed in by the bolt.“Oh no,” I said. They were actually hitting us now, and we didn’t have the sort of fancy magic needed to really block their attacks.“Captain!” Clive called from the helm. “Hard turn to starboard!”“Got it!” I shouted back.The Red Whale had been slowing down for a little bit, and now we were practically within shouting distance of each other.The other two pirate ships, the Red Scourge and the Firestrike were still coming in hot, but they were further back and trying to turn towards us.The Beaver banked into a turn, putting us nearly on a collision course with the Red Whale as they angled toward us as well.Clive gunned the engine.Before the pirates could get their forward ballista reloaded, we were outside it's firing arc, hurtling past them, parallel to one another, nearly close enough to touch.If we both kept up our turns, we'd trace out a fall circle in the sky and approach head-on again. It would give us breathing room once we were past them.But we weren't past them yet, and the side of the Red Whale's gondola opened up and the pirates within started to arm up a smaller ballista.“Full broadside!” I shouted.Caprica, Amaryllis, and I flung spells at the larger airship as fast as we could form them, recklessly burning through or mana reserves. The shield sparked and flashed under our bombardment, then half of it shattered and our bolts of light started hitting home.Calamity added to our barrage, specifically targeting the pirates manning the ballista and forcing them to take cover. Half his arrows glittered with spell-threads that exploded, or ignored armor, or set exposed wood on fire.Then Awen joined in.So far she’d kept her big rapid-firing crossbow turret in reserve, but on my order she opened up.It was clear within a second that she’d improved the design a whole lot lately. The turret had four large repeating crossbows. They fired in sequence, one every half-second like clockwork, four shots, then a second’s long pause as the first bow finished reloading, then four more shots.Each bolt she fired was as long as my arm span, a long piece of magically-crafted glass that glinted in the morning sunlight as it zipped across the space between our ships. Some of them exploded.I wasn’t sure how many of them, but maybe one in four had some sort of incendiary glass tip, and when they struck the Red Whale they’d burst apart with a tiny bang, sending fire and glass shards all over.The Red Whale’s side was peppered with small bursts of fire, bolts, and arrows. I could see the crew running around through the many porthole windows along its bottom gondola.“Awen! Target those engines! The rest of you too! Split fire with the gondola, we don’t want them firing back!” Amaryllis shouted.I nodded and aimed my next brace of fireballs a little lower. It was a lot easier to aim when they were this close, so only a few of them zipped past under the ship, and most of them flew into the openings on the side of the ship’s gondola where the pirates were still prepping their ballista. They mostly just struck the floors and maybe hit some random tools, but it seemed to work well enough to spook the pirates.Awen, meanwhile, walked her shots across the surface of the ship until she reached the engines. Her glass bolts punched through the thin metal sides of the engine cowlings. I had no idea what broke underneath, but she must have nicked a fuel line because the frontmost engine burst into flames.The Beaver and the Red Whale continued to fly past each other. Soon enough the pirates got things in order and started to fire back. Some opened portholes and flung spells out at us, and I winced every time a fireball or an unfamiliar spell struck us. Then their ballista opened up, and long lines were drawn between our ships.“They’ve got grapples!” Caprica shouted.“Calamity, can you cut them?” I asked.“Aye capt’n!” he said before aiming more carefully.The ropes went taut, and the Beaver shook. It looked like there were some pirates ready to use them as ziplines to get across, but Calamity was a darned good archer and he managed to slice the first two lines apart with a quick shot each.“Clive, give us some distance!” I called back. Over the twang of lines snapping apart.“Aye aye!”The Beaver and the Red Whale parted a little. Awen kept firing and one of her shots planted itself firmly in one of the ship’s rearmost engines which made it stutter to a stop.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.I glanced around, lowering my casting arm and taking a deep breath. My mana had run... not low, exactly, but I’d used up way more than half of it. But that was a small problem compared to everything else. A look up revealed a couple of holes punched into the starboard side of our balloon, and some of the spells fired at us left big scorch marks on the Beaver’s flanks.“Scallywags!” I shouted. They were supposed to be below deck, taking care of things down there. “We need some holes patched, quick!”The trio came running up and took in the situation at a glance. Joe already had a toolbox with him that had a bunch of tarp and glue and the materials we’d need to plug those holes before we lost too much gas.“Awen, can you give everything a look, see if everything’s still functional.”I spun around and looked into the skies around us. The Red Scourge couldn’t turn as tightly as we could, but it was coming around.I swallowed. The Firestrike had turned hard and was now flying straight towards us.The Beaver now had the Red Whale behind it to the right, and the Firestrike was cutting in ahead of us.If we turned to port, we might be able to temporarily fly away from the other ships, but they were all faster and would soon catch up. Or... maybe the Red Whale would be left behind, but the other two would definitely be able to catch up, and it looked like they were both a lot scarier.If I had to guess, the Red Whale was more of a transport ship than one designed for fighting. It had some weapons, but the overall design wasn’t great, with terrible arcs of fire and it wasn’t a very manoeuvrable ship.The Firestrike seemed like it was built as a warship from the ground up, and the Red Scourge was just so massive that it didn’t matter how unmaneuverable it might be, the thing was covered in turreted ballista and could probably carry hundreds of pirates.“This isn’t going to be fun,” I said. “We can’t outrun them, and we can’t outfight the other ships.” They weren’t turning away either. I’d harboured a bit of hope that if we gave the Red Whale a few bruises the pirates would decide to turn around and leave us alone.“We need a little luck,” Caprica said. “And some time to escape.” She was glaring at the pirate ships, her gaze steely and determined and more than a little scary. If the pirates could see that look they’d definitely turn tail.“Luck is something that we’re in short supply of, right now,” Amaryllis said.Suddenly, there was a loud, high pitched whistle. We all turned to look at where the sound was coming from. It was The Shady Lady. Abraham’s ship was charging out of the thinner clouds above, a streak that was only gaining speed as it dropped.Its target was obvious, the Firestrike.The pirate ship opened fire, and ballista bolts streaked through the air to intercept it, but they were essentially shooting from the hip and the shots all went wide as the Lady dove in.I picked out the tiny, distant form of Abraham, standing at the very front of the Shady Lady with his body twisted around and an arm cocked by his side. “HAAA!”Then he threw.It was impossible to see what he flung, but I imagined it was just a few pebbles or something small like that. “Hah!” his shout washed over us from afar, followed a split second later by the echoing boom of several projectiles crashing into the Firestrike with meteor-like strength.The impact sent shockwaves rippling through the sky, and we could feel the reverberations even on the Beaver.The Firestrike faltered in its trajectory, a plume of black smoke trailing behind it as it began to list to one side. The pirate crew scrambled, desperately trying to regain control, but it was clear the ship was severely damaged.The Shady Lady flew past it, then started back upwards in a gentle arc, the entire ship tilting a little as they started to turn back in our direction.“How hurt is the Firestrike?” I asked. The ship was distant enough that I couldn’t make out too much of the damage. It looked like Abraham’s throw had punched a few holes clear through the ship, and something was on fire, but the airship was still hovering along.Amaryllis squinted at the ship. “They're not out of the fight, but they're definitely hindered. Their mobility and speed have taken a significant hit," she said. "We need to move, now!”“We should try to make distance while we can,” I said. I turned to Clive. “Full speed ahead!”“Are we just going to run?” Caprica asked, her hands tightening on the hilt of her sword.“It’s a tactical relocation,” Amaryllis said.“Huh? I thought it was definitely running away,” I said. “That’s how a smart person should fight. At least, that’s what my parents always told me.”The Firestrike was trailing smoke but it was slowly righting itself. The Red Scourge, meanwhile, was turning to give chase, but it was slow and ponderous, taking its time. Behind us, the Red Whale was limping but its crew was still working hard to repair the damage and get back in the fight.Despite the damage we had inflicted, and Abraham's powerful strike on the Firestrike, it was clear that we were still outmatched. The Shady Lady was now heading our way but was still too far to provide immediate aid.My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at the ever-encroaching ship. The sheer size of the Red Scourge was terrifying. Its array of ballista, primed and ready to fire, seemed like a promise of doom. And yet, despite the terror, a feeling of determination filled me. We weren't going down without a fight.“We need a miracle...” I muttered under my breath.Just then, a strange shadow loomed in the distance. It was still far, but growing bigger with every passing second. It was the unmistakable silhouette of a dragon in flight.Our miracle had just arrived.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Acidic Reaction
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Acidic Reaction The appearance of a Dragon had a certain gravitas to it.It was, after all, a dragon.A skinny green dragon, maybe half-again the length of an adult wyvern, more or less. It was hard to tell how big it was when the dragon was swooping past like a bird of prey, only the sky behind it to give any reference to its sheer size.The dragon roared, and I folded my ears down at the sheer power of that noise. It felt like it should have been strong enough to blast me right off the deck of the Beaver. The dragon dove down, rushing past the Beaver then back up between the Red Whale and the Firestrike.I turned towards Caprica, I had to tell her something, urgently. “Contact Raynold, now! Tell him not to let Abraham pick a fight with the dragon!”“Why would he do that, it’s so stu— right, let me send them a message spell,” she said.I turned back around and refocused on the dragon. It was flying slow-looking circles around the Red Scourge. Slow-looking, because it was still faster than any airship that I’d ever seen, but it still felt as if the dragon wasn’t trying very hard, with slow ponderous wingbeats.“Wait, I recognize that dragon,” Amaryllis said.I stared at her, then snapped my attention back to the dragon. A younger green dragon... not too far from Port Royal as the dragon flies... “Cholondee?” I asked.The dragon’s head snapped around to my direction, even though it might have been well over a kilometre away. She did a final loop of the Red Scourge. The pirates onboard the airship were running around in a panic. She looked like they were trying to aim their many ballistae, but I wasn’t sure if they’d do anything to a dragon.Cholondee flew on over towards the Beaver and I squeaked as it came closer and closer without slowing down much at all.At the very last moment, Cholondee shifted her wings up and beat them once.My feet slid on the deck as I was pushed back by the wind. I had to shield my face with both arms against the blast. Amaryllis was sent tumbling back with a squawk, and my other friends stumbled back as well. Caprica was almost thrown over the edge, but she beat her own wings and flew back down to the deck.There was a loud and very discomforting crunch sound, followed by a draconic ‘oops.’I blinked, then took in the sight of a large green dragon hanging off the side of the Beaver with her forearms. The rails where she gripped onto the ship were snapped and splintered.“Cholondee!” I said. “You broke the ship!”Cholondee’s head reeled back. Then she snaked it in closer to glare at me. “How is it my fault that your ship isn’t welcoming to dragons?” she rumbled. The top of her spiny head was brushing against the canvas of the balloon above, and I was increasingly worried that her horns would rip through.Then I noticed that she was wearing a hat. A small-for a dragon-fedora.“Nice hat,” I said.“Broccoli,” Caprica hissed. “That’s a dragon.”“Uh... yes? Oh! Right! Cholondee, this is my friend Caprica, from Sylphfree, that’s Calamity, from way up north on the other side of the Harpy Mountains, and I don’t think you met the rest of the crew either.”Cholondee’s nostrils flared. “A princess?” she asked.“Yeah!”A large tongue rasped across draconic lips. “Broccoli, you shouldn’t have.”“Oh, uh... we’re going to Port Royal to see your brother’s wedding!”Cholondee blinked twice, then huffed, and I gripped onto my own hat to stop it from flying off. “Well, I wouldn’t be the best sister ever if I ate his wedding gift,” she said.I suspected that there was a misunderstanding at play. “Caprica’s not for eating,” I said. “She’s a friend. And friends don’t eat friends.”Cholonee tilted her head to the side to give me a piercing look with one massive cat-like eye. “Well, whatever,” she said. “So are these other ships carrying stuff for you?”“Oh, no, they’re pirates,” I said.“Are... you a pirate?” Cholondee asked.I shook my head. “No. Those three ships, with the red wing symbol on them, have been chasing us for a while. I think they want to rob us.”“You gave them a bloody nose already,” Cholondee said as she snaked her head around to look back at the three ships. The Red Scourge was still untouched, but the other two were trailing smoke.“It’s not enough to stop them yet,” I said. “The other little ship, the Shady Lady is a friend’s ship. They’re helping us, but we’re in a spot of trouble, I think.”Cholondee turned back to me. “You’re much stronger than when we last met, riftwalker. It’s hard to tell how strong little people are, though, can’t you crush them all on your own?”“Uh... well, I guess some of my friends and I are pretty strong, but we’re only so strong, and there are a lot of pirates, plus a few of them are probably strong too. They’re pirates, after all, so they probably fight and do bad things all day long, which means that they’re probably pretty good at that sort of thing.”“Hmm,” the dragon said. “Give me a moment.” She launched herself off of the Beaver’s side, splintering more of the ship’s rails and making the entire ship shift to the side.“That... might be bad,” I said.“I imagine the pirates are thinking the same thing,” Amaryllis said. “No one wants to fight a dragon. You especially don’t want to fight a dragon in the sky.”Caprica came over, then stepped closer to where Cholondee had gripped onto the Beaver. “It made a mess of the ship’s side,” she said. “You know, the Sylphfree navy have fought back dragons before. We’ve even killed a few.”I held back a gasp. Not in shock, but more in pity. It... hurt to know that people would want to hurt dragons, but then again, dragons were a little hard to befriend compared to some others.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.“What were you telling it?” Caprica asked.“Was I talking in dragon?” I asked. At their nods, I went over the discussion again. Caprica didn’t seem happy that Cholondee had sniffed out her princessness, but otherwise, there wasn’t too much bad news. Cholondee was nice, if a little... brusque, so I couldn’t see her doing anything too mean to us.The damage on the Beaver’s hull, aside.“What is it doing?” Calamity asked as he followed the dragon with his gaze.“She,” I corrected.“Right, she,” he said.“And, uh, I have no idea.”Cholondee circled around the other ships for a moment, then she came flying down along the side of the Red Scourge. Her chest puffed out, swelling even as something glowed within her and illuminated her green scales and outlined her ribs.Then she breathed down at the ship while roaring past it.Billowing clouds of green smoke washed out ahead of her and rolled across the Red Scourge’s topdeck. It was so thick and heavy that the smoke came pouring off the other side of the deck like viscous waters.I held my hands over my mouth as I watched the tiny distant figures of the pirates running around in a panic. The ship turned hard, and one of the ballistae at the back fired, but its bolt went wide.Then the crew seemed far too busy running around to take care of Cholondee. She flew around the back of the ship and spat at one of its larger engines. There was a small explosion a moment later.Cholondee returned to us, looking smug, like a cat who’d caught a mouse.“Will they be okay?” I asked.“The pirates?” Amaryllis asked. “Green dragon breath is poisonous in large concentrations. And acidic. That gob of spit probably melted the engine back there. So they have a fire, acid burns, and a poisoned crew to deal with, I’d be surprised if...” Amaryllis looked at me for a moment, and her satisfied look faded before she cleared her throat. “I’m sure they’ll be fine, don’t worry about it, Broccoli.”I sniffed. It was nice that Amaryllis was willing to lie to make me feel better.Cholondee slowed down well before reaching the Beaver this time. By the time her forepaws crunched into the rails again, the pirates were in full retreat.The Red Whale and Firestrike were still smoking, though it looked like their crews were working to patch the ships up. The Red Scourge was limping away, only slowly turning back the way they’d come.That was probably for the best.But it did leave us with a curious dragon to deal with. “Thanks, Cholondee,” I said.She shrugged her shoulders. “It was easy. Besides, I don’t like pirates much.”“You don’t?” I asked.She shook her head. “They’re bad for business. See, my guys extort people in the port, and if pirates get to people, then they bring in less stuff, so I can’t take as much from them.”“Uh, you extort people that land at the port?” I asked.She grinned, which reminded me that dragons had big teeth. “I’ll let you have a discount,” she said.“What’s the dragon saying?” Caprica asked. I explained real quick, which set Caprica to frowning. “But that’s extortion.”“I only take a percentage,” Cholondee reasoned. “If I take too much, then the merchants won’t come back.” She’d switched languages, from dragon to something my friends understood, which was nice. Talking in dragon was hard on the throat.“That... that’s still extortion,” Caprica said.“Don’t you have taxes where you’re from, princess?” Cholondee asked. She sounded genuinely curious.“Of course, but those taxes go towards improving infrastructure and keeping citizens safe!” Caprica said.“My port is very nice and strong, so that I can walk around it, and I keep people safe,” Cholondee said. “Just ask those pirates.” She gestured back with her head towards where the pirates were running.The gesture punched a hole clean through the tarp of our balloon, and a loud hissing sound filled with air.“That was there already,” Cholondee said.“Awen!” I shouted. “We have holes!”“Awa?” Came Awen’s reply from within her ball turret. “G-give me a minute! I’ll be right there.”The Scallywags were a little worried about Cholondee at first, they seemed like they wanted to hide more than help, but then the hole just continued to hiss and Clive cleared his throat from the helm. “Captain, don’t mean to urge you on, but we’re losing altitude.”That got them moving, because dragons might be a little scary, but so was crashing.Cholondee watched the crew get to work patching up the few holes we’d gotten. “You know, there’s people in Port Royal that can fix your ship up for you.”“Ah, but we need to make it to Port Royal for that to matter,” I said.She hummed. “You should grow wings. Flying is much nicer than riding around in one of these flammable airboats.”“I think I would like to fly,” I said. “I’ve flown on dragons and wyverns and of course on airships, and they all seem like nice ways to get around, though I wonder what it’d be like to fly under my own power. Maybe next time, instead of growing some ears, I’ll get some wings!”The dragon nodded, then she glared up at the balloon which was forcing her to squeeze in. “Right, I’ll fly around for a while. Maybe head back home or grab something to eat. You should add a perch if you insist on flying in this thing.”I nodded. That was a good idea. Maybe Awen could make a deployable dragon perch?I said my goodbyes to Cholondee who launched herself off the Beaver’s side. Clive came up to me a moment later. “Hmm, didn’t wanna mention anything while the dragon was here, but the weight wasn’t helping us keep afloat.”“Really? I guess that makes sense. And to think, she’s the youngest dragon I know. Her mom is bigger than the Beaver, I think.”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Adrenaline Crash
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Adrenaline Crash The rest of the day was surprisingly calm.The pirates swiftly disappeared over the horizon, but I still found myself pacing the deck anxiously. It wasn't until an hour had passed with no sign of their reappearance that the nervous energy left me, replaced by a sudden wave of tiredness that made my limbs feel a million times heavier. I could've almost fallen asleep on the spot.Still, as much as I would have adored a nap, there was work to be done. The Beaver had sustained some damage, and I’d promised Awen that I wouldn’t overwork her, so I had to do what I could to help.Then, out of nowhere, it hit me.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun Bun class has reached level 16!Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointYou have unlocked: One Class Skill Slot“Oh,” I said to no one in particular. How long had it been since my last level-up? Some time, actually. Well, only a week or so, actually, but it felt like it had been forever ago.Amaryllis still complained that we were levelling up at an insane pace because of all the trouble we ran into, and I supposed this just proved her right.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
16
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
5
Age
16
Health
160
Stamina
185
Mana
155
Resilience
75
Flexibility
90
Magic
30
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 19%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 49%
Adorable
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 37%
Social Butterfly
F — 87%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 100%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 100%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
D — 100%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
3
Wonderlander Skill Points
5
General Skill Points
4
First Class Skill Slots
1
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
3
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.I looked over my stats for a moment, then frowned. Had I increased a few skills to their next level? Friendmaking and Makeshift Weapon Proficiency were both at their cap? Had that happened during the fight?“Hey, Mister Menu, what’s up with the lack of notifications?” I asked.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Friendmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B costs 2 General Skill Points!Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Makeshift Weapon Proficiency skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank B costs 2 General Skill Points!Oh, there it was! “Thanks,” I said.“Are you okay, Broccoli?” Caprica asked. She was nearby, sorting through one of the toolboxes with all of the balloon-patching supplies. She didn’t have the skill or Skills to help with the actual patching work, but she was helping by keeping everything sorted.“Just talking to, uh, myself, I guess? And the system. I levelled up!”“Congratulations, then,” she said. “That’s not too surprising, I suppose.”“It isn’t?”“You were the captain of a ship attacked by three pirate ships, and we made it out of the fight mostly unscathed. Captains, generals, commanders and the like gain lots of experience when leading others through harrowing or challenging experiences.”“Oh, but I’m an airship captain, not a military one,” I said.“Is that what your skill is called?” she asked.“No, it’s just Captaining,” I said.She shrugged. “Then it should apply to any time you lead a small troop of soldiers. Or I suppose a small group of like-minded individuals? I don’t know the exact limits of the skill.”That... actually sounded really cool!I had a few general skill points to spare. They weren’t a renewable resource, but it felt like it was safe to spend one here.Congratulations! Your Captaining skill has improved and is now Rank C!CaptainingRank: CThe ability to lead and take charge through smooth sailing and rough patches. You have a magical awareness of your ship and crew.A magical awareness? What did that mean— oh!I jumped as something tickled the back of my mind. It felt almost like someone was tugging at my ears, but not quite. I worked my jaw, then reached up to check the base of my ears, but there was nothing there. And yet... there was definitely something going on.I focused on it, and then felt a wave of vertigo pass through me. In that same moment, I felt the Beaver. The entire ship was just... there. I could feel it under my feet, but it felt like I had a sort of feel for the entire airship. I could have walked from bow to stern with my eyes closed, and I could point to every crack and splinter in his hull.It wasn’t so much a mental map as it was an extension of my own sense of self. I knew where my own fingers were, and I didn’t need to look to touch my own ear or nose or whatever, I had an awareness of where my own limbs were, and now that sort of extended to the ship.And my friends.I could tell that Awen was coming up the stairs near the engineering area, that Joe was clinging onto the side of the balloon above, that Clive was... oh, I could tell when people were using the head, which was a big nope.I pushed the sense away and it receded, turning into something like an itching feeling at the base of my ears.“Neat!” I said.“Did you improve a skill?” Caprica asked.“I did! I ranked-up Captaining. I can feel where people are on the Beaver now, and where it’s damaged.”“Oh, that seems very practical,” she said. “I think captains in the army have a sense of where their squads are. The skill might give you the ability to communicate with others at higher tiers. It costs a fair bit of mana, but for most martial classes that mana wouldn’t be used otherwise.”That sounded like a ton of fun! A sort of magical skill-based telephone, maybe? It would be nice to be able to talk to my friends from the comfort of a pillow fort. Although... no, that was silly. If I had a pillow fort, then I’d want my friends in it too.“Right, back to work,” I said. “I’ll try to stay up for a while, but I think we should do rotations.”“Like a watch?” Caprica asked.“Yeah. I’m really tired, and I bet I’m not the only one. We all got woken up early and then it was a lot of stress. Giving everyone a few hours for a midday nap can’t hurt.”That was easier said than done, of course. The first step was making sure that everything outside of the ship was good. The Shady Lady had come up and was now hovering some fifty metres off our port side. Raynold was at the helm, and Abraham wasn’t visible. Maybe he was taking his own nap?Cholondee wasn’t around anymore. I suspected that she’d flown ahead because the Beaver was just too slow compared to a dragon. I couldn’t blame her, it must have been tiring to keep up with someone slower, like a really lame escort mission.I was sure she’d come back around. Besides, she needed lunch and we certainly didn’t have the stuff to feed a dragon on board.Speaking of lunch, I figured that with everything that had happened, the crew would be rather hungry, so I grabbed Oda to help me, then went down to the kitchens, and we started on a big stew. Just something quick and easy to keep warm.Carrots and potatoes were chopped up, a stick of celery got ripped apart into chunks, and I tossed in a few minced cloves of garlic. Then Oda emptied the end of a bottle of wine into the mix. The alcohol would get cooked out and the tasty bit would remain. Then more seasoning, because there was no such thing as too much rosemary. The onions in our pantry were starting to go green, but I think we’d picked those up in Sylphfree a long time ago, so it was about time that we used them.“Lunch is ready!” I called out across the deck. My new skill was actually coming in handy already, since I knew that some of the crew on the far end hadn’t heard me.I had to wonder what it was like for people with main classes that revolved around doing airship stuff. Did they have a heap of really powerful skills that’d let them pilot a ship really well?As people came over to eat, I asked each how they were feeling, and then divided up the nap rotation based on that. It would only be about an hour of napping for each, but hopefully that would be enough to keep everyone going until nightfall.I got the middle nap, so after lunch I waddled my way back up the deck and started cleaning up whatever messes I could find. The broken rails had been neatened up, with unfixable parts sawed off so that they could be repaired once we were back in a port. I stripped off the scorch marks on the deck and hull with Cleaning magic until they were gone. Some of the paint had been removed though, so we’d need to give the Beaver a fresh coat too.“It’s not all that bad,” Awen said as she came up behind me.“The damage?” I asked.She nodded. “A few holes here and there, but nothing structural was hit. The engine is intact, so are all the mechanical parts. One of the wing-flaps was pinned in place. We’ll need to replace the sail unless we want to fly with a patch, but otherwise we came out of it okay.”“Good,” I said. “That’s really good.”Awen nodded. “Do you think we’ll have time to fix things at the next port?”“We’ll be at Port Royal. As far as ports go, it’s probably the one I know best.” Which really wasn’t saying all that much. “I’m sure we can find some nice people to help us with the Beaver. Maybe your uncle knows a few? He hangs around there a lot, yeah?”Awen nodded. “He likes the grenoil. A lot of his first adventures were around Deepmarsh, and I think they think he’s some sort of old hero.”“I bet he did do some heroic stuff,” I said."Well ... it's complicated." Awen shrugged her shoulders. "He tells this story about how once, he saved the capital from a horde of undead that had emerged from the eastern swamps."“That does sound very heroic, though,” I said.She shook her head. “He’s the one that woke up the horde by poking around; they followed him to the capital because he stole some lich’s phylactery.”“Oh,” I said. “Well, that makes it a lot less heroic sounding.”“I know!” Awen complained. “It’s not like he even hid the fact that it was his fault. But I guess he’s kinda strong, and he does a lot of adventuring stuff, so people always treat him like a big hero.”“Are you upset about it?” I asked.She shook her head. “No, not at all. It’s just the way uncle is.”“Hmm, well, as long as he’s not doing that kind of thing anymore, it should be okay.”“You do know that he really wants to get into a fight with a dragon, right?” Awen asked.“Maybe we can arrange a spar?” I tried.Awen looked a bit dubious at that, but she didn’t say it was impossible. I decided to hope for the best for the moment. In any case, we were going to a wedding. It would be very rude of Abraham to challenge the groom to a fight before he had time to say his ‘I do.’
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Last Leg
Chapter Four Hundred and Twenty-Nine — Last Leg Even with our unfortunate meeting with pirates done, we still had a couple of days of travelling left before we made it to Port Royal.In that time, we did what we could to make sure the Beaver’s repairs held up. That meant checking on the patches at least a few times a day, which turned out to be a good move when we discovered one of them quietly leaking out some of our precious lifting gas.The rest of the damage was easy to work around since it was mostly superficial, but it still bothered me to have the Beaver so damaged. I wasn’t the only one. Orange was quite miffed that one of her two favourite sleeping spots (the head of one of the two duck figureheads) had been blown apart in all the fighting.The morning of the day after our big fight, I walked into the captain’s office at the back (we needed to rename the place, since we didn’t really use it as a captain’s cabin at all) and checked out the navigation charts.We had turned westward during the chase with the pirates, and had pushed the Beaver to move as quickly as it could. Then the fight itself had us manoeuvring this way and that. Instead of charting the entire fight, Amaryllis had drawn a circle around the spot where it took place, then a fresh line below that up to where we were now.Or where she thought we were.We had the mountains to the west to act as landmarks, but it was kind of hard to tell how far they actually were, and the ground didn’t have that many landmarks visible from so high up to use. So our exact location wasn’t super precise.I folded up the map, then left the cabin and walked around the outer edge of the ship’s deck, poking my head out over the side every so often while looking for something to compare our location to.There was a big plain below, and a few encroaching bits of forest. There was a road nearer to the edge of the mountains. The biggest landmark was a long, rocky foothills of the mountainside that spilled out into the plains and that only seemed to be covered by sparse greenery. Comparing that to the map was enough to give me a decent idea of where we were.Another day or so and we’d be seeing the mountain pass that separated Deepmarsh and the eastern part of Mattergrove away from the rest of the world. Fort Cherryhold was around there, but I didn’t think we’d stop at the fort, even if it was supposed to be a popular gateway into the region.We didn't need to stop, so it was easier to skip past it and head straight for Port Royal.The closer we came to Port Royal, the less we had to worry about any additional encounters with piratical sorts.“Hey, capt’n,” Calamity said as he joined me by the ship’s figurehead (the one that still had a head). “Had a good rest?”“It was nice,” I said. “And probably more than a little needed. I think I fell asleep the moment my head touched my pillow.”Calamity chuckled. “Yeah. Well, to be fair, yesterday was pretty exciting, so that was probably called for. N’ya feeling better?”“Much!” I said. “Ready for the next big pirate fight!”Calamity shook his head. “I don’t know about that. The ship looks a little banged up.”“Ah, that’s true. I don’t actually want to get into another fight with pirates. Or even non-pirates,” I said. And it was entirely true. Fighting wasn’t something I liked doing, even though it was undeniably very exciting. “You’ve never been to Port Royal, right?”“Never been this far south before,” he agreed.“Oh, you might like it! It’s a nice city. Lots of grenoil. Though it is kind of humid, I guess. It reminds me a bit of home that way, but I imagine it might be annoying for, uh...” I gestured at his fur.“It’s not that bad,” he said with a grin. “Worst-case I look a bit fuzzier than usual, which isn’t so bad. Ladies love a fuzzy guy, especially if he’s got some toughness to back it up.”“Well, if you say so,” I said.Calamity huffed. “I do say so,” he said. “But n’yeah, the way you’re talking, you’ve spent some time there?”“A little? You know that I’m not from around here, right?” He nodded, so I continued. “I showed up in this little ghost town-as in, a town full of mostly impolite ghosts-somewhere in the Darkwoods. I ended up making my way north towards Port Royal. It was the only place I could see from where I started that looked like there were people. I saw an airship!”“You sound very excited about seeing an airship for someone standing on one.”“I’d never stood on one back then,” I said. “We don’t really have airships where I’m from. Not the way we have them here. Instead there are planes, which are also cool, but mostly noisy and cramped. Anyway, I was very excited, and Port Royal turned out to be a lot more than I expected. There’s a village at the base of the mountains, and cable cars up to the city, and there’s lot of people from different races. Mostly it’s harpies and grenoil, since they’re both close, but there’s humans too, and because there’s so many ships coming and going, you have all sorts of people from elsewhere.”“That does sound mighty interestin',” he said. “And we’ll be staying there for a bit, from the sounds of it.”“Well, at least until the wedding’s done,” I allowed. “If we’re even invited. We, ah, never did get an invitation.”Calamity blinked, then laughed. “That’s right, we didn’t! No offence, Broccoli, but I’ll laugh the loudest if n’ya get to the gates and they turn ya around after all this trouble.”This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.“I’m sure Booksie wouldn’t do that,” I said. “Amaryllis, Awen and I were kind of the ones to help her find Rhawrexdee, you know!“I’m sure she’ll let you attend,” he said with a pat on my shoulder.I didn’t want to be mean, but I would probably be a little bit upset if we couldn’t at least sit in the crowd to watch. I’d never been to a wedding before, but they sounded magical and very romantic!I left Calamity with his watch and returned the map to the captain’s office, happy that I’d confirmed our location, more or less. I glanced up a moment before Amaryllis opened the door into the room, then smiled and explained what I’d been up to. My new Captaining skill was nice, if a little weird. I’d told the others about it, of course.It was only creepy if people didn’t know that I knew where they were. Or at least, I hope that’s how it worked out. The Scallywags were a little annoyed, but I suspected it was because they tended to be up to mischief when I wasn’t looking.In any case, the day went on to be pretty normal. By the end of the day, I was no longer searching for pirate ships coming around every cloud in sight.The Shady Lady came closer that evening, and we moored the two ships together with some long ropes and shut the Lady’s engines off for the night. Raynold and Abraham joined us for a big dinner, and he shared stories, including his own version of the pirate fight which included a lot more action and swashbuckling and had maybe more dragons in it than I remembered seeing.The laughter and camaraderie that night was the salve we all needed after the previous day’s chaos. The night sky above us was a vivid tapestry of stars, and the cool evening breeze felt like a gentle caress as we sat on the Beaver's deck, trading stories and enjoying good food.As the evening went on, Awen pulled out a small flute and blew a few notes, then Abraham launched into a very bawdy song about the open skies and the freedom it promised and all the scantily clad ladies that could be found in port cities. It wasn't long before others joined in, their voices rising and falling in harmony.Raynold, who turned out to have a surprisingly good voice, sang a sombre tune about lost love and windswept shores.By the time the moon peaked in the sky, the shared joy of the evening had driven away the shadows of the previous day entirely.“Alright, enough singing for one night!” Abraham chuckled, rubbing his stomach contentedly. “We've got a big day ahead. We're nearly at Fort Cherryhold, and then it's just a quick hop to Port Royal! Haha! I have friends to meet! They'll be surprised to see that I'm still alive, haha!”True enough, the next morning, as dawn painted the sky with shades of pink and gold, we found ourselves gliding towards an impressive fort.Cherryhold was a sight to behold. Built into the heart of the mountain pass that nestled between the Harpy mountains to the east and the imposing Seven Peaks to the west. The walls of the fort weren’t all that high, but they made up for that by bridging across the entire kilometres-wide valley, with frequent towers rising up from the wall.A couple of small villages were built along the length of the wall, close to a single large hold atop a spot where the wall rose along with a big hill.Fort Cherryhold, for all its impressive structure, was just a fleeting glance as we continued our flight eastward towards Port Royal.As we flew, the terrain below shifted from sparse woodlands to a much thicker forest with a canopy that was impossible to see through from above and ancient trees that had been rooted in place for centuries. The edge of the Darkwoods, the natural barrier between Mattergrove and Deepmarsh.The sun began its descent, casting a warm, golden hue over everything by the time Calamity shouted and pointing ahead. “City in sight!”In the distance, nestled against the side of a mountain, was Port Royal.Port Royal was built in layers, the houses closer to the passive dockyards were a maze of narrow alleys and bustling markets, while the upper levels of the city had more room between larger homes. Wide avenues marked paths across the city, and there were several parks in the upper sections. All walled off from the lower parts of the city, of course.“We’ll be docking soon,” Amaryllis informed everyone. “Remember, Port Royal's docks can be a bit rough, but the city watch keeps things mostly in line. Just stay sharp.”“I remember,” I murmured. Last time we’d come here we’d ridden a dragon, so I wasn’t entirely sure about the docking procedures for arriving in Port Royal, but I figured it couldn’t be all that different from some of the other places we’d been to.The Beaver slowly descended towards one of the free docking spots after communicating with a tower via flashing lightball spells. I think they recognized the Shady Lady at some point, because the berth we were told to go to changed at some point. Instead of one of the normal commercial berths, we were redirected to one of the nicer ones a little higher up.“Alright everyone! Best behaviour now!” I said. “We’re going to be guests. We’re here to attend a wedding, meet some old friends, and... oh, right, there’s an assassination to foil too!”I’d almost forgotten about that!
* * *
Darth Bunch can't hurt you...
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty — Balancing the Budget
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty — Balancing the Budget Once we were docked, I let Amaryllis deal with the port authority. The Shady Lady had to be untied just before we came in for a landing, and it was now being moored into place right next to the Beaver. We were actually sharing a docking spot since the Lady was so much smaller than a normal ship. It only made sense to cram her in between the Beaver and the pier.A longer gangway was brought out and hooked onto the Beaver’s side, just a bit away from the crunched-up section of railings to our side. Once we were properly locked into place, a grenoil in a dockmaster’s uniform came up the ramp and greeted Amaryllis.I left them to it, vaguely aware of their relative positions at the back of my mind. First, I had to check out a few things. I pulled out a clipboard from the captain’s office and went to the kitchen to make note of what was left in the pantry. That didn’t take long, because we were running low on just about everything.It was impressive how much a few people could eat. It wasn’t like we could pop over to a corner store mid-flight to pick up some snacks or anything, and we were all pretty active. Between shipboard duties and training and that big fight with the pirates... well, we were all burning whatever calories we were taking in.I made a note to make sure everyone ate well while in port. The restaurants and such here would have much better food than what we could prepare on the Beaver.“We need a cook,” I muttered to myself as I checked the washroom. There were a few things we’d need for there too, toiletries and such that we’d used up.After that it was over and across to the engineering section of the ship, where I found Awen idly tinkering with something. “Broccoli?” she asked as I came in. I didn’t spend all that much time down here. The room smelled like Awen; oil and grease and lubricants. She'd secured a glass jar to the low ceiling and imprisoned a lightball in it, and there were small portholes in the compartments' walls, but it simply wasn't enough — the room was dim, and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust.“Hi!” I said. “I’m going around and checking on our supplies. We’ll probably be in Port Royal for a while, so we should stock up while we can.”“Oh, that’s a good idea,” she said. “I’m missing a lot of little things.”I bobbed my head. “I figured as much. What sort of stuff?” I raised my clipboard to take notes.Then Awen bombarded me with a list that I was pretty sure wouldn’t fit on my page. Screws of four different sizes, nuts, bolts, some cloth for the sails, a different kind for the balloon, a few parts for different places on the ship. We had emptied out a lot of our patching supplies and needed glue and leather strips, and ropes. My head was almost starting to spin before I raised a hand to slow Awen down.“My hand is cramping,” I said.“Ah,” she replied. “Is it too much?”“Not at all. If we need this stuff, then we need it, no getting around it.” The individual things probably didn’t cost much. How much were screws? A few copper for a handful? All together it probably added up, but we had a budget for maintenance and it only made sense that we’d need extra after everything that happened. “How about we take a day this week to go out parts shopping?” I asked.“That would be nice,” Awen said. “I’ll need a few things sooner rather than later, though.”“Mhm, that makes sense. We can always head out and buy a few things from the docks, I think.”“They’ll charge extra,” Awen warned.“Ah, then just the things we really need in the short term, then. We have a while to fix the Beaver up. He’s gone through a lot.”Awen nodded. “Oh, I’ll need paint, too.”“Paint? I think there’s a bucket or two somewhere.” My ears twitched, and I kind of just knew that we had some buckets over in a cupboard in the crew quarters. The same paint I’d used to give the hull a fresh coat of sunshine yellow.“Awa, we need to mark our kills.”I blinked. “Huh?”“The sylph do it,” Awen said. “On the front of their warships. They have a tally. We won against three pirates, right? I think the pirates had those kinds of markings too.”I puffed my cheeks out, that sounded... well, I wasn’t sure if it was bad or not. I certainly hadn’t noticed those kinds of markings on the pirate ships, but I also hadn’t been looking. Maybe if we had a few notches the pirates would have thought better than to pick a fight with us. “Well, I can’t say it doesn’t sound cool,” I said.Awen grinned. “Red paint?”“Can’t we make them nice, cute marks?” I asked. “Flowers, maybe?”“No Broccoli, I think kill notches need to be a bit intimidating.”“Flowers can be,” I argued.Awen giggled, then flushed at her own giggling. She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Sorry.”“Hmph, well, fine. I need to get back up. There’s still work to do!” I gave Awen a hug, because I felt like it, and hugs were the best way to give temporary good-byes, then I headed back onto the deck where I ran into Clive who was chatting with the rest of the crew. “Clive! I’m making a list of things we need. Can you think of anything?”Clive narrowed his eyes and thought about it very seriously for a few good seconds. “Yes, yes, there’s somethin’,” he finally said.“What’s that?”“I need some tobacco for my pipe,” he said.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.I blinked. “Uh... okay.” I added it to the list.“We should get some beer too,” Joe added.“Rum!”“Grog!”I shook my head. I didn’t mind that we had that kind of stuff on the Beaver. It was fine to have it, and I wasn’t going to belittle someone for liking that kind of stuff, but I wasn’t going to put it above food on the list. “I’ll see what we can do,” I said.With my list created, I headed over to the gangway where Amaryllis was just saying goodbye to the docking official.“How did it go?” I asked.“Not bad,” she said while looking at a sheet he’d given her. “Rates here are a little higher than elsewhere. Not too badly so, but there’s a dragon tax that almost doubles the cost for a berth.”“A dragon tax, huh?” I leaned over, trying to see the page. There was a docking fee, then a few other fees, and at the bottom a “Draconic Protection Fee.” “The total’s not that bad,” I said. If I remembered correctly, it was about the same as what we paid in the Snowlands.“He mentioned that they lowered their fees as much as they could. The dragon tax is a flat doubling of the cost, and if they kept the rates at what they used to be, no one would use the port.”“That must be tough,” I said. Some of the fees were there to make the port some profit, but at a well-managed port a lot of those fees would be used up paying for workers and maintenance and buying new equipment to keep the port up to date.Amaryllis shrugged. “I think they’re managing.”I’d noticed that well over half the berths in the port were filled when we came in, and there was plenty of traffic in the air, so the port couldn’t be doing that poorly. “Well, I guess there’s not too much we can do about it.”“It’s something,” Amaryllis said. “I don’t think it’s a big concern yet, but we should be careful about it anyway. So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?”It wasn’t too late in the day, the sun was overhead, though there was a layer of greyish clouds forming above. Deepmarsh was a humid, rainy place, so that wasn’t all that surprising. “I have a heap of things I want to get done. Do you think we should do some sort of guard rotation on the Beaver?”“This is probably one of the safest ports outside of the Harpy Mountains,” Amaryllis said.“Really?”“Broccoli, there’s a Dragon tax. No one is going to try to steal from a dragon. And if our ship is stolen or damaged, that’ll cut into the dragon’s margins. You saw what Cholondee did to those pirates. I bet we could leave the Beaver entirely unattended and it would be fine. Not that I’d actually chance it.”“Oh, okay then,” I said. “Well, in that case, I think we should split up into friend groups!”“Friend groups?” Amaryllis asked.“Like teams, but friends.”She rolled her eyes, but her huff told me that she knew what I meant, even if she found it a teensy bit silly.“You can be in my friend group, if you want!” I said. “I want to go visit Booksie’s shop, to see if she’s there. And I have this long list of stuff to buy for the Beaver too.”Amaryllis reached for my clipboard and I handed it over. She scanned through the list, nodding along until she came to the end. “These are snacks for the crew,” she said.“Yes?”“And you think these are necessary? We’re working on a budget, you know.”“I think it’s important. We need to keep morale up, and snacks work for me.” She looked up, clearly wanting some clarification on that. “When I’m sad, I like eating comfy food.”She shook her head. “Right, I suppose it’s not a terrible idea. And it can’t be all that expensive. But Broccoli, you are aware that we haven’t made a copper penny in weeks, right?”“Huh?”“We’ve been spending money left and right and hardly made any. The gold we earned in Sylphfree was impressive, certainly, more than I expected us to earn in a long time, but we are spending more than we’re earning now.”“So you’re saying the Beaver needs to work?”“The repairs will set us back a little.” she shook the clipboard. “These things won’t be free. Then there’s paying the crew, fuel, docking fees. We started with a decent amount of gold for the trip, then we earned a lot more in Sylphfree, enough to keep us aloft for another couple of years, but only if we’re careful about our spending.”“Okay,” I said. “Maybe a visit to the Exploration Guild, then? We can check it for quests that we can do.”“That’s not a bad idea. Once we know our next destination, we might want to look into carrying some cargo. Just enough to negate the cost of the trip.”I gasped. “We could have passengers!”“The ship... is equipped for that. But we’re using most of most of the rooms that passengers would take for ourselves. We have room for a couple of people, I suppose.”I grinned. “We’ll make friends, and coins, and get to where we need to go. It’s kind of perfect!”“I’ll see who wants to stay and who wants shore leave. We don’t know how long we’ll be here for, so do we want to make a simple all-day rotation, or should we do half days?”“Ah, I think alternating half-days might be best? One group gets the morning off, then they stay with the Beaver that night. The next day we can switch it around.” That way everyone would get some evenings and mornings off, alternating every day. That’d give everyone a chance to have fun in Port Royal. “Oh, and we need to see about paying everyone.”“Right, let’s get that sorted,” Amaryllis agreed.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-One — Bookseeking
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-One — Bookseeking The first order of business, now that the Beaver was sorted, was checking up on Booksie! Since it was such an important mission, I decided that we should go out to scout as a big team, but Amaryllis said that I couldn’t bring all of my friends at once.Caprica wanted to poke her head into the Sylphfree embassy anyway, and Calamity said he’d go with her, to make sure she was safe, which was really nice of him.“Is everyone ready?” I asked. I was standing on the edge of the gangplank, one step away from leaving the Beaver. I had my usual outfit on, with my turtle helm plomped onto my head, mostly because it provided great shade from the sun poking through the clouds.Otherwise, I was dressed in the more casual clothes we’d picked up in the Snowlands. A big teal sweater that was very comfy over a pair of loose pants. I had a nice blouse under it, but it was mostly hidden by the cozy sweater. I liked the look. I think sweaters just made people so much more huggable.Amaryllis and Awen were standing behind me, also in more casual wear. Amaryllis in that all-white tracksuit-looking-outfit we’d picked up, and Awen in a long blue dress with a thin jacket atop it. She’d let her hair go loose, and it was catching in the wind.“Ah, I’m ready,” Awen said. She clutched onto the satchel hanging by her side and it clinked metallically.“Are those tools?” I asked.“You never know,” she said.Well, I supposed I didn’t always know. Maybe we’d run into some bolts that needed tightening? “Alrighty then! Let’s go!”It was interesting to step off the Beaver. My ears tingled for a moment, and then it felt like I was pushing through something like a warm waterfall. I noticed it almost right away as my sense of the Beaver grew distant. I was still vaguely aware of the ship and the crew on it, but it was like hearing a song you knew that was being played from a few rooms over. The notes and noise was all mushy and distant and indistinct, but still recognizable.“You look weird,” Amaryllis said. “If you need to use the head, you might as well go now before we’re halfway across the city.”“No, it’s not that,” I said with a grin. “Just my Captaining skill being weird. I can’t feel the ship as well.” I glanced down, just to confirm that I really was only one step away from the Beaver.“Hmm, well, I suppose it is a skill meant to be used on a ship, and you’re no longer on it.” Amaryllis slipped past me on the gangplank on her way down. “Highly specialised skills are just like that. Now, speaking of highly specialized skills, can you blast me with cleaning magic?”“Huh?” I asked as I walked after her.“Broccoli, this entire outfit is white, and while Port Royal is definitely one of the cleaner cities I’ve ever been in, it’s still dusty. I’m going to be a mess of stains long before we arrive at Booksie’s shop, so I might as well leave the Beaver looking proper.”I laughed, then pushed a nice amount of mana into my cleaning aura. It wallopped away any dust and grime, leaving the three of us as neat as clean as though we'd spent three hours at the baths and laundry.“Thank you,” Amaryllis said. “Now, to the book shop, right?”“I think that’s where we’ll find her,” I said. “Unless she moved in with Rhawrexdee already?”“A-already?” Awen asked. “They can’t have been dating for more than two months! That’s... almost scandalous.”“It would be outright scandalous, but he’s a dragon,” Amaryllis said.“Does that make it less scandalous?” I asked as we started towards the city. There was a wall separating the docks from the city proper, though it looked a bit old, as if Port Royal had outgrown it a long time ago.There were a few areas we had to pass through in order to get into the city, and I recognized them as checkpoints. It was a little strange, I hadn’t noticed that at all the last time I was here.“It’s less that it’s less scandalous and more that he can get away with it without being bothered,” Amaryllis said. “That is the purpose of a scandal, after all.”“Huh?” I asked. “What do you mean?”“Why are scandal bad?” Amaryllis asked.I blinked. “I guess because it might make it hard for the scandalees to do stuff? Or it might ruin their reputation, I guess.”“It’s usually something that’s good gossip,” Awen added. “Um, in the sense that it’s gossip that spreads well, not that it’s good that people know about it and stuff.”“Scandals are a way for someone to discredit someone else by painting them as immoral, undignified, or untrustworthy,” Amaryllis said. “Which doesn’t mean that the person isn’t one or all of those things. But it is essentially a sociopolitical tool. It can be a distraction, or a smokescreen, or just a way to make a rival look like a fool.”“Oh, that’s not very nice at all,” I said.Amaryllis shrugged. “A scandal, real or manufactured, captures attention. It stokes the fires of outrage, indignation, or moral superiority. Once those emotional levers are pulled, rational discourse often takes a backseat. And whoever instigated the scandal can then direct that emotional energy wherever they please. Like a puppeteer pulling on the heartstrings of the public."“My mom was really good at that kind of thing,” Awen said. “But it never worked on uncle.”“Because your uncle, like Rhawrexdee, doesn’t care. That’s the downside of scandal as a weapon. Used against someone with actual, non-political power, it doesn’t work unless that person cares.”The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.I supposed that made sense. In any case, it didn’t matter that much. I don’t think I’d ever done anything scandalous.The checkpoint in the wall was guarded by a sleepy grenoil guard who eyed us for a moment before sighing. “Hello and welcome to Port Royal. Is this your first time here?”I shook my head. “We’ve been here before,” I said.“Ah, so you know ze procedure. I’m going to use an inspection skill on you. Please stand still.” The guard’s eyes lit up and he scanned me up and down with his gaze. Then he did the same to Amaryllis and Awen. “Hmm, welcome to Port Royal, ze jewel of Deepmarsh.” He stepped aside, letting us through.Port Royal was even busier once we were past the outer wall. There were all sorts of people moving about on the main road that cut through the heart of the city. I remembered the first time I’d been here, what felt like years ago. The people had all seemed so strange and almost alien, but now I actually recognized so many.There was a pack of drolls that looked a bit lost to one side, a few Ostri from the desert just to the west, even a few humans that had probably come over from Mattergrove. I followed a sylph that was darting by with my eyes and grinned. This place was the fun sort of busy.Still, the most common sorts of people here were the locals, grenoil, harpies and humans, the people from the areas nearest to Port Royal. This city was meant to be ruled by the grenoil, though I suspected that Rhawrexdee’s mom might have something to say about that.We had to cross another wall to get to the part of the city where Booksie had her shop. The guards there weren’t nearly as sleepy, but we got through mostly thanks to two of us being from the Exploration Guild.With the guild having such a big presence in the city, membership afforded easy access to the better parts of the city.I wasn’t sure what to think about the way Port Royal was divided. Each area closer to the noble quarter required more permissions to get into. It seemed like a security thing at first, but I had an inkling that it was also a way to keep poor people and undesirables out of the nicest parts of the city, which just seemed... kind of icky.Amaryllis and I chatted about it as we got a teensy bit lost among the maze of streets in this part of the city. It took asking a nice grenoil gentleman for directions before we found our way back towards the bookshop.Booksie’s bookshop was a tall but narrow building, squeezed in next to a butcher’s shop and an apartment building along a side street. There was a sign out front, a book with a pair of bunny ears sticking out of it.“Is it open?” I asked as I walked up to the windows and pressed my nose against them. There wasn’t much light inside, but I couldn’t see far either, not past the stacks of books by the windows. I pulled my head back, then cleaned off the smudge my nose had left on the glass.“Ah, it’s not locked,” Awen said as she tugged the door open.I smiled, but in reality I was feeling... I didn’t know how to describe it, actually. Something like worry? Trepidation, maybe? It was a tingly swirly feeling in my tummy, excited but also a little scared.I pushed past it. Broccoli Bunch wasn’t going to pass up a chance to meet an old (relatively) friend just because of a little bit of worry!Slipping into the shop, I was struck by the smell. I took a big deep breath while the bell over the door continued to jingle.“One moment!” came a call from the back of the shop.I grinned wider. “Booksie!”There was a clatter, then the thump of a heavy book hitting the ground, then a pair of black ears poked out from above a bookstack. “Broccoli?”Booksie came around a pile. She was in a summer dress covered by an ink-stained apron. She had more ink on her hands, I noticed, and a long smudge across one cheek. The smudge shifted as she smiled wide.“Hi!” I said.Then we bounced towards each other for a hello hug. I’d forgotten how nice it was to hug a bun. The ear hugs were very comfy and nice. I sagged into it and felt Booksie do the same.“Broccoli! I haven’t seen you in forever,” Booksie said. She looked past me and to my friends. “Amaryllis, Awen, hello!”They got hugs too, of course. Then lots of apologies as Booksie spread some of the ink from her apron onto Amaryllis’ outfit. She squeaked and smudged it around with a handkerchief until I wiped the stain away.“Ah! How have you three been doing,” Booksie said as she settled back onto her heels. “Are you still exploring? Scolding handsome dragons?”“We are,” I said. “Well, maybe not the dragon thing. But we have been travelling a heap, making new friends, seeing stuff, I’ll have to tell you all about it. But what about you?” I glanced at her hands. There was a ring there that I couldn’t recall seeing. “Is it true that you’re getting married?”Booksie flushed red, from her cheeks up to the base of her ears. “You heard about that?” she squeaked.“All the way off in the Snowlands,” Amaryllis said.Booksie hid her face with both hands. “Oh no!”“Oh no?” I asked. “It’s not true?”Booksie smiled, sighed, then waggled her hands uselessly. “It’s a long story,” she said. “And one that needs to be told with tea while we’re not standing by the entrance. Come on, I have a reading room in the back. I’ll explain the whole thing.”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Two — Friends Like These
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Two — Friends Like These Booksie guided us to the sitting room in the back of the shop, a space where a few seats were tucked in between towering pillars of books. “Please, everybun, have a seat. I’ll go get the kettle,” Booksie said. She puttered around for a moment, making sure that we were all comfy and fetching lap blankets from a chest off to one side.Then Booksie hurried off and I heard some clinking and clanking deeper in the shop. “She seems okay,” I said.“I suppose,” Amaryllis said.Booksie had a lot of nervous energy, but she didn’t seem hurt or anything. I didn’t get the feeling that she was upset or anything, just a little... maybe overwhelmed? Stressed? Maybe coming here wasn’t the best idea, if it added even more stress to her situation.Then again, a good friend should visit their friends, especially when those friends are going through something stressful! No matter how it had gone down, getting proposed to and getting married had to be very stressful.Booksie reappeared, carrying a steaming kettle and a tray covered in mugs. She set them down, then ran off only to return with a small box. “These are teas from out west. From Inkborough in Pyrowalk.”“Oh, that’s far,” I said. “Are they known for their tea?”“Hmm? No, not in particular, but it does taste a little different. I don’t know how it compares to some of the better teas you can buy, but it always tasted like home to me.” Booksie poured us each a mug, then noticed that she’d forgotten the cream and honey, and she ran off again.It took a little while before we were all settled with warm mugs in hand and the room slowly filling with the scent of an unfamiliar tea.Inkthistle tea, usable as a weak muscle relaxant, brewed by an amateur.The tea wasn’t bad, though I did add a dab of honey, since it was a smidge bitter. “Did you want to talk about it?” I asked.Booksie sighed over her mug, sending the rising plume of steam over it away. “I guess I should.”“You don’t have to,” I hurried to say.“Oh, I want to,” Booksie said. “It’s sad, but I haven’t made a single proper friend since we last saw each other.” She lowered her mug. “I have so many rants saved up.”“Oh. in that case, rant away!” I said.Booksie took a deep breath. “Right... I’ve been looking forward to this for a while.”“Mhm,” I said with a nod.Booksie blinked. “I don’t know where to start,” she said.I giggled, and Awen joined it more quietly. It was a bit of a funny problem to have. “How about whatever’s annoying you the most?”Booksie let out a long sigh. “I’ve been trying to talk with people, but lately it’s been so much harder. The only people that will talk to me are politicians. Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk to a diplomat?”“No?” I asked.Amaryllis snorted. “Yes,” she said.I looked at her for an explanation, and Amaryllis rolled her eyes.“Diplomats have a lot of social skills. Yes, a little like your Friendmaking or whatever, but they're specialised toward that field, so they have a lot more of those skills, and they're usually stronger. Give them two minutes to talk and you’ll feel like they’re your best friend ever. It ... usually wears off a few minutes later.”“It leaves me feeling dirty,” Booksie said. “I’ve talked to diplomats from Deepmarsh and the Harpy Mountains. They’re about the only people that will talk to me, but all they want is endless placating nothingness. As if I have any sway on what Rhawr’s family will do. The only other person I’ve talked to lately who hasn’t been obviously two-faced is Cholondee.”“She’s nice,” I said. “She saved us from pirates a few days ago.”“Ah, that was you?” Booksie asked. “She’d mentioned something about pirates. I’m glad you made it over. Are you okay?”“Yup! A few scuffs and scratches, but no injuries, and nothing we can’t fix!”“Good, good,” Booksie said. “Cholondee has been nice. We’ve been shopping together, and I helped her with her bookkeeping, since she asked. She even paid me for it, which let me tell you, is quite something when it comes to dragons.”“Dragons don’t pay well?” I asked.“They have a saying, ‘family is family, but gold is shiny.’ It tells you a lot about them, I think,” Booksie said. “Anyway. Half the shops along the street have vacated, though none of them say it’s my fault. I barely get any customers anymore.”“Oh no, that’s awful. Is the business okay?” I asked. I recalled her having a bit of difficulty with that.“The city refused my property tax payments,” she said. “The landlord that owned this building gave it to me, as an early wedding gift. So my upkeep has never been lower.”“That’s... nice?”“I’m not going to complain about it, much, but it’s still frustrating. It was a little weird before Rhawr popped the question, but ever since then... urgh.”“How did that happen, anyway? I wasn’t even sure if you two were really dating,” Amaryllis asked.It was a little rude to just poke at the big question, but I had to admit that I was really-really curious too.Booksie melted into her seat, cheeks turning more and more red and she pouted and refused to meet anyone’s eyes. She mumbled something, but even with my added ears, I didn’t catch it. She noticed that, then straightened a little. “It was an accident,” she said.“A dragon accidentally proposed?” Amaryllis asked.“A little.”“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay,” I said.Booksie sighed. “It’s going to come up eventually anyway. See, we were reading together. We... do that, in the backyard. I have some blankets, and Rhawr likes it when I sit on him and read.” She cleared her throat. The blush had returned. “We were reading something a little romantic, and we were both talking about the story. It’s nice? Rhawr has... opinions about things, of course, and so do I, and often our reading time turns into long talks about whatever we’re reading.”Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.“That sounds nice,” I said encouragingly.“Well, yes, it is. In any case, we were reading about a proposal, and one thing led to another, and I said yes.”Booksie was still not meeting our eyes, and I was worried that with the amount of blood in her face at the moment, there might not be enough for the rest of her.“I still don’t see how that was an accident,” Amaryllis said.“He didn’t mean to!” Booksie said. “But I went and said yes! And I didn’t mean to either! I wasn’t thinking!” Booksie set her mug down, picked up a book, then started to clonk her head against it. “It was an accident!”“Ah, couldn’t you just, uh, talk about it?” I asked.“Dragons don’t undo what they say! They’re too proud! And I... maybe I don’t want to correct him.”“So you want to get married?”“Yes! No! I don’t know!” Booksie kicked her legs out against the edge of her sofa, like a kid throwing a tantrum. “The last couple of weeks have been nothing but preparations and politics and... and dresses.”“Dresses are nice,” I said.“I know!” Booksie cried. “My wedding dress is beautiful.”“Awa, that doesn’t seem, um, like something to cry about?” Awen said.“It’s too pretty for me,” Booksie complained. “I’m just a bookstore bun. At best I should marry a librarian or another shopkeeper. Maybe a cobbler, not a dragon! The dress looks like something a princess would wear.”“I think every girl wants to look like a princess on the day she gets married,” I said. “It’s not that bad, is it? Everybun should be allowed to look pretty, especially on their wedding day.”Booksie sniffed. “Rhawr’s mom took over an island to the south and gave it to me. So technically I’m now a princess. A pitiful princess that rules over an island with some turtles on it.”“That’s one way to become noble,” Amaryllis said. “Try not to make soup out of all of your subjects.”“It’s because of some silly dragon tradition. Do you have any idea how complicated wedding organisation is? Dragon weddings are even more complicated, especially since I had to insist that no one eat the guests!”“This might not be a good time to mention it,” I said. “But one of the reasons we came was to warn you that there might be a small attack on the day of your wedding. Or maybe an assassination attempt by some very mean, no-good people that want to start a big war.”Booksie stared at me. She leaned forward, putting the book she’d used to smack herself on the head down, then she picked up a cushion. After mashing her face into it, she started to scream.I stood and scooted over to the sofa she was on, squeezing in next to her for sidehugs and backrubs. “Hey, hey, it’s not that bad. We’re here to help! Amaryllis can take care of the political people, and Awen can maybe check out the venue, and I’ll clean things up and we’ll figure it all out together, okay?”Booksie muffled a final scream into the cushion before pulling away, her hair was tousled, her eyes were red, and her ears were wilted. She looked at me, then at Amaryllis, and finally at Awen. “You're here to help?”“Of course,” Amaryllis said, setting down her cup of tea. “We've got your back, Booksie. And if some villains try to sabotage your wedding, well, they'll have to get through us first.”I eyed Amaryllis for a moment. That was very supportive of her. Suspiciously so. Usually Amaryllis complained a lot more before helping a friend out anyway.Awen was nodding next to her, adding her silent support to what Amaryllis had said.Booksie seemed to take a deep breath, visibly steeling herself. “Well, if I am going to go through with this marriage to a dragon and an accidental princesshood of... of Turtle Island, then I suppose it's a comfort to know I'm not doing it alone. I don’t think I’ve ever missed home as much as I do now.”“You're definitely not alone,” I assured her, giving her one last comforting squeeze before letting go. “Do you have any family in Pyrowalk?”“None that I’d want to see here,” she said with a sigh. “Rhawr offered to fly anyone over. Whether they want to come or not. But I’d really rather not have family tied to chairs watching me. Plus, it’s far. There are other dragons with territory between here and there, and that would complicate things.”“That’s... nice of him,” I said.Booksie frowned, then looked at me. “Who are these assassins you mentioned?”“Ah, that one’s complicated,” I said. “We learned about them in the Snowlands. They’re probably working for Rainnewt. He’s a big mean riftwalker that’s trying to make a big mess of things. They were trying to ship weapons to here, but I think we foiled their plans a little bit.”“That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t play it safe,” Amaryllis said.Booksie nodded. “It might be for the best. Cholondee really wanted to help, but... well, she’s learning how to control the mob, I don’t know if I want her working on wedding planning. But security? I think she can manage that.”I wasn’t sure how to feel about the mob, the dragon-controlled mob, being in charge of security. After a bit of thought, I decided to feel safe about it. It was better than nothing, and it was nice that Cholondee wanted to help.Brooksie looked around at us, her eyes moist. "Thank you, everybun, you're the best friends I could possibly ask for." her face took on newfound determination. "Together, I think we can turn this accidental wedding into a happily ever after."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Three — Uncertainty Principle
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Three — Uncertainty Principle “So, was there anything you wanted to do?” Booksie asked.I tilted my head to the side. “What we want to do? I think we should be concerned about what you want to do,” I said.Booksie shook her head, and I was very envious of how stable her ears were. How did she stop them from flopping around? “No. You don’t understand how much time I have on my hands. Most of the wedding planning is done. All I need to do is show up every so often to veto whatever ideas are going too far. Other than that, I just need to show up on the day of the wedding looking pretty.”“That shouldn’t be hard,” I said. “You’re very pretty already, and I’m sure you’ll be even prettier in your dress.”Booksie smiled. “Thanks. I’d like to think that I’m not vain, but I suppose I am a little bit?” She giggled. “Ah, but yes, what are you up to? Did you really come all the way here just to foil assassins?”“And to see you,” I said. “Two of my friends are getting married! I don’t want to miss their big day.”“I’ll make sure your crew have front-row seats, then,” Booksie said. “Besides, you’re all a good deal braver than all of the politicians and such that want to show up. You can set the example by not screaming and fainting at the first sight of a dragon.”“I think we can manage that!” I said. “If you want, I think we were planning on doing a bit of shopping? Awen wanted to look at parts for the Beaver, and I don’t think any of us have clothes for the wedding.”“We have our formalwear from that ball back in Sylphfree,” Awen said.“Oh, yeah! But I kinda still want to go shopping,” I admitted. It would be nice to hang out with Booksie too. I had the impression that she’d been spending a lot of time in her bookshop, which was entirely fair, but it was probably not too healthy to spend so much time cooped up. Going out and having a bit of fun would be good for her.“I can show you the shop where I got my dress,” Booksie said. “In fact, the dress is still there now. I don’t have a place to put it in here that won’t get it covered in book dust.”“Did you need help with the dusting?” I asked. Back in Pecorina's bookshop, she had requested that I avoid throwing around Cleaning magic, since she was worried her old or enchanted books might not take kindly to it. However, I was pretty sure I could still clean Booksie's store if I avoided any vulnerable books. My Cleaning skill helped with my aim, so at S-rank it was easy to guide the magic around things I wanted to avoid, provided I knew they were there.“I should be fine,” Booksie said. She bounced to her feet, then adjusted her skirts. “Shall we?”I laughed and stood up, then there was a bit of bustle as we gathered up the tea cups and kettle and put them away in the back. There was a teeny-tiny apartment stuffed in a corner of the shop behind a closed-off section. It was made smaller by the stacks of unsold books crowded inside-just enough room for a little kitchen and a bed next to a washroom.“It’s not exactly nice,” Booksie said. “But it’s this or I cut into my floorspace. Well, I suppose I could rent more space, but my budget is tight enough as it is, and I like not having to walk to work every morning.”“It’s fine,” I said. I plucked the kettle from her hand then used a few points of magic to wipe it clean. Now that we were alone-Awen and Amaryllis were at the front of the shop, checking out some books-I thought that maybe I could ask Booksie how she felt a little more privately. “Are you really okay?” I asked.Booksie smiled. It was a small, reserved smile. “Yes, I think I’m okay. It’s a lot though. A lot of stress, a lot of wondering how things will work out. Just... a lot. And I’m trying really hard not to be taken in by anything... extraneous.”“Extraneous?” I asked.Booksie leaned a hip against the counter next to her skin and crossed her arms. “It’s... urgh. I like Rhawrexdee. I think I love him, even. He’s kind, and likes a lot of the same things I do. We have different opinions on things, but that only leads to great discussions, and... and it’s nice when I’m with him.”I nodded. That was good. I didn’t know much about romance, but that seemed like a good foundation for a relationship.“But...” she began.“But?”Booksie sighed. “I’ve spoken to some people who implied that the only reason I’m with him at all is because of all the advantages it brings.”“Advantages?” I asked.“Broccoli, he’s a dragon. And while that does bring its own heap of complications, there’s no doubting that it also brings some good. If I marry him, I won’t ever have to worry about money, or petty thieves. He offered to help me level-up so I'd be safer and invited me to go hunting with him some day. Do you have any idea how quickly you can level when you’re literally being carried by a dragon?”“Uh, I hadn’t thought of that. Do dragons care about levels and such?”“Not as much as others,” Booksie said. “Even a level one dragon is still a dragon. But that’s besides the point. I’m worried. I don’t want to love Rhawr for what he has and what he can give me, I want to love him because he’s him.”I wrapped Booksie in a hug, because that seemed like the right thing to do. “Do you love him because he’s him? It sounds like it to me?”“I do,” she muttered into my shoulder. “But I’m still worried anyway. He’s offering so much, and all I have is a mouldy old bookshop.”“You have more than a 'mouldy old bookshop,' Booksie. You have your intellect, your love for life, your zest for discovery and your passion for books,” I said, as I continued to hold her in the hug.This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.Booksie let out a soft chuckle, “You always have a way with words, Broccoli.”“And you always have a way with dragons. And, most importantly, with people. I've never seen Rhawrexdee as happy as he is when he's with you. I don’t think that love is a transaction, you know? It's not about what he can offer you materially or what you can offer him. It's about two people who resonate with each other in a very special way.”Booksie pulled out of the hug, and I was happy to see that she was smiling. “Thank you,” she said.“No problem! I’m happy when my friends are happy, so I want you to be the happiest Booksie you can be!”Booksie laughed, then gave my cheek a quick peck. “You’re sweet. I’m happy you’re a bun now too. You’re giving the entire species a good name. Now... shall we go shopping and look at pretty dresses and... airship parts? Oh, I know this place that you’ll love. They even have a section dedicated to enchanted fabrics!”“That sounds perfect,” I said, eager to immerse myself in a little retail therapy and more eager to see Booksie genuinely happy.We joined Awen and Amaryllis at the front of the store. Booksie started telling Amaryllis about the fabric place while she locked up the shop. With a final flip of the Closed/Open sign, we bundled out of the store.“I never asked,” Booksie said. “But do you know Port Royal well? I recall when we met you were new to the city.”“I’ve been here and there, but I only spent a couple of days here,” I said. “Amaryllis might have been here longer, and Awen... did we only stop by once?”Awen nodded. “We came with Rhawrexdee,” she said. “We didn’t spend all that much time here.”“So yeah, I guess we really don’t know the city that well,” I said.“Well, that’s unfortunate. I can’t say that I’m exactly well-travelled, but I’ve been around, and of all the cities I have visited, Port Royal remains my favourite.” Booksie led us back towards the main street, then she turned in a direction I was pretty sure would lead us toward the nicer parts of the city, if I remembered right.“Is it the bookshops?” I asked, grinning.Booksie laughed. “No! There’s a couple of nice ones around, but there aren’t that many here. Otherwise I wouldn't’ have tried to open my own. It’s the atmosphere. The energy. Port Royal has room for all sorts, including lost little buns with big dreams. There’s a lot of stuff going on under the surface too, of course. Politics and magic and so much drama.”“Port Royal is a popular destination for harpies leaving home for the first time,” Amaryllis said. “The weather’s not too warm since we’re relatively high up, but the air is thicker than up in our mountains. It’s good to get acclimatised to something other than the Harpy Mountains. And the locals aren’t disagreeable.”“The food is great too,” Booksie said. “Oh! I have about seven places to show you for food. There’s a few great grenoil places, of course, but there’s an authentic Pyrowalkian place too, and a shop run by this retired fisherman from Mattergrove that imports fish over and it’s delicious.”“Can buns eat fish?” I asked.“We really shouldn’t, but it’s worth the stomach ache!” Booksie said.I laughed. I could imagine someone eating something that their tummy didn’t like just because it tasted too good to pass up.“There’s this dessert place I’ll have to take you all to after shopping. It’s heaven, especially if you’re a fan of sweets.”“Count me in,” I said, my ears twitching in delight. “If it’s sugary, I’m there. Oh! We need to invite Caprica too! She loves sweets!”“Caprica?” Booksie asked.I clapped my hands together in excitement, then realized how embarrassing that was and stopped, then realized that I didn’t care and clapped some more. “She’s one of the newer members of the crew! Well, technically she’s a stowaway that was kinda unofficially promoted to crewmate, I guess.”“A stowaway! That’s exciting. How did she get onboard?”“It’s a whole story, with pirates and princesses and a big battle,” I said. “Caprica’s the princess in the story.”“She’s a princess? Like, not of some island with turtles on it?” Booksie asked.I laughed. “No, she’s a princess of Sylphfree. They really like sweet foods.”Booksie’s eyebrows shot up and her ears flicked in surprise. “A princess?”“They need the sugar, their metabolism runs hotter than most others,” Amaryllis explained. “And Broccoli, do keep it down. Caprica is supposed to be keeping a low profile. Even if she constantly ignores that fact herself.”“Oh, right. Got a little too excited there,” I said, lowering my voice. “Sorry, Amaryllis. But, yes, Caprica's from Sylphfree, and I think she'd love the dessert place.”Booksie chuckled. “Well, I’d be thrilled to meet her. But why is she stowing away? A princess doesn’t seem like the type to run from home without good reason.”“That’s part of the whole big story part! I think she just wanted to go on a big adventure. And she’s also, uh... maybe trying to have the boy she loves come and rescue her?”Booksie blinked. “Well, that’s something. I suspect this Caprica friend of yours has the same problem as Rhawrexdee.”“Huh?” I asked.“He sometimes has a hard time telling what’s true or not from the romance novels he has read.” Booksie shook her head. “It can be funny, though. Or embarrassing!”My gossip senses tingled, but I resisted asking about that. “Caprica’s nice. I think you might like her! And if we’re hanging out, then you’ll definitely meet. Oh, and Calamity too. He’s nice. And the rest of the crew. They’re also all nice!”Booksie nodded, eyes twinkling. “It sounds like a nice crew.”“It is!” I agreed. “Now, where’s that shop you were talking about?”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Four — Ribbon Me This
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Four — Ribbon Me This “So, you like hats, right?” Booksie asked.I nodded. I did like hats.At the moment, we were in the shopping district of Port Royal. I didn’t recognize the place until we passed the shop where Amaryllis had bought my usual blue outfit. We’d ended up going back into that shop, and at the moment we were waiting while the owner fussed over Amaryllis who was having her armoured jacket looked over. It was clean, of course, but clean wasn’t perfectly maintained.The lining was coming loose, and the tailor was seeing to that.“Okay, so hats are nice and all,” Booksie said. “But we buns have a racial disadvantage when it comes to headwear.”“Because of our ears?” I asked. I wiggled mine a bit.Booksie nodded, her own ears wiggling even more.I was definitely envious of Booksie's unconscious ear posture. Even when she was clearly focused on other things, they always stayed nice and straight. If she wanted to listen closer to something, she could smoothly turn them without needing to think about them, like she'd ... well, like she'd been born with them.Mine were both very unruly. My left ear kept folding in half in the middle, and no matter how often I perked it back up, it would just flop back down.I was very tempted to find this world’s equivalent of a popsicle stick and glue it into my ear so that it would stay up.“Plenty of millineries will poke some holes in hats for you, but if you’re buying second-hand, you’re almost entirely out of luck,” Booksie said. “I had to cut holes into my only hat, and they’re uneven, and they kind of cut into the base of my ears. It’s very annoying. Have you had that happen? Your ear falling asleep?”“Our ears can fall asleep?” I asked.“Oh yeah. It’s like when you sleep on your arm and you wake up to find it all tingly,” Booksie said. “But it’s your ear. It’s awful.”“My helmet has a few holes cut into the right place, and my captain’s hat is too narrow for that to be a problem,” I said.Booksie nodded. “It’s not that big of a deal, I think. But I’m going to show you a cheat.”“A cheat?” I asked.She nodded again. “To make you look cute without hurting your ears.”“But I don’t wanna look cute,” I said. I was not pouting. I was definitely not pouting!Booksie blinked, then looked me up and down. “Are... are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t mean to be rude, but it feels like you’re trying really hard to be as cute as possible. Just look at your nose.”I touched my nose. “What’s wrong with my nose?” I asked.“Nothing’s wrong with your nose,” Booksie said. “It’s cute.”I stepped over to the side and looked into one of the mirrors hanging off the shop’s walls. I looked... like me. Maybe I’d lost a bit of weight over the last few months, what with all of the running around and such, but I hadn’t changed that much. My skin was very clear though, without a button of blemish, which was probably my Cleaning magic at work.I checked out my nose. It was small, sitting in the middle of my face, as it should. I twitched it left then right. Yup. Normal nose. Entirely uncute. “Awen! Tell me my nose isn’t cute!” I said.Awen looked between me and Booksie, then I saw her eyes dip a little to stare at my nose. “It’s... small?”I gasped, covering my nose with both hands. “My nose isn’t small! It’s perfectly average!”“It’s small because you keep sticking it into things that aren’t any of your business,” Amaryllis snapped from across the room. She immediately turned back and continued to converse with the tailor, as if she hadn’t just struck me a devastating blow.“Anyway,” I said as I turned back to Booksie. “What was that trick you were talking about?”“You don’t need to keep covering your nose, you know,” Booksie said.I grumbled, but let my hands drop.“So, hats are complicated for buns... but you know what isn’t?” Booksie whipped out a long length of cloth from a rack, fluttering it about before she pinched both ends of it and held it taut. “Ribbons!”“Oh!” I said. “Ribbons are nice, yeah!”There was a trick to tying ribbons to ears, I found out. A top secret bun trick, passed down from generations of buns who wanted to accessorise without cutting holes into their hats.We walked out of the shop a few minutes later a few coins lighter. The shopkeep sold us the ribbons for very little, since they were basically no more than strips of cloth. I had six tied to the base of my ears, their tails trailing down around my head. No two were the same colour.I shook my head to test the ribbons' durability. They fluttered in the air, creating a whirl of colours around my head.“See? Isn't it great?” Booksie beamed, her ears adorned with elegant ribbons that complemented her black hair and ears.Amaryllis walked out behind us, her jacket looking as good as new. “And here I thought you wanted to avoid looking adorable, Broccoli. Booksie, you've done well.”“Adorable? I'm a noble airship captain, you know!” I protested, but my ears twitched traitorously, giving away my genuine pleasure at the compliment.Booksie chuckled. “Even noble airship captains can have a sense of style. Besides, these ribbons have multiple uses, you know?”“Oh really? Like what?”“Well, for one, you can use them to mark pages in your book. They can also serve as impromptu binding material or even makeshift bandages in a pinch.”“You're quite the pragmatic one,” Amaryllis noted, looking impressed.“Alright, let’s see what else we can discover,” Booksie said as she skipped ahead. She was beaming, and it was just plain nice to see her smiling so much. I knew that she was excited for the wedding, but there was a lot of stress and anxiety that came with that. “There’s a bootmaker down the street. Do you need boots?”If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.“I don’t think so,” I said. I liked my shoes. “But Awen might need some?”Awen shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind looking. The soles on mine are getting a little thin, I think. I have to wear thick socks, or else I’ll get blisters.”We checked out the bootmaker, but didn't end up buying anything, then stopped by a place that sold frozen treats, then giggled our way over to a street show where someone was playing something that looked like a guitar while tapping their feet to the beat and singing an almost dirty song about dragons that had us all flushing.“Should we find something better to eat than snacks?” I asked.“We should consider actual food at some point, yes,” Amaryllis said dryly. “And we need to look into making sure the crew is fed too. We can’t spend all day with Booksie and forget our responsibilities.”I pouted, but she was right. “Oh! But Booksie can come with us. We can show her the Beaver and she can eat with the crew.”“I suppose,” Amaryllis said. “We should stop by the Sylphfree embassy on the way back.”“The embassy?” Booksie repeated.“Our friend, Caprica, said she’d head over there today. Calamity went with her, to keep her company. I don’t know if she’s planning on eating at the embassy or not, but she might be gone already. Do you know where it is?”“I do,” Booksie said. “I pass by it every time I go to the topmost levels of the city. It’s a nice walk. We’ll build up our appetite on the way there, I think.”Getting to the embassy was a bit of a journey. We had to circle around the markets, then ascend a sharply inclined road, following switchbacks that clung to the face of the mountain Port Royal jutted out of.Eventually, we reached the part of the city with the nicest homes and all of the most important buildings. The embassies were placed a little ways away from each other, almost as if the locals didn’t want them within arrow-firing range.At least, that’s how it looked for the sylph and harpy embassies. The harpy embassy was a squat tower carved out of local stone with balconies all around and parapets that guards could hide behind. The syph embassy some ways down was an opulent building, though it was a lot smaller, leaving space for a statue garden out front and a tall fence all around.It only took a glance to realise that something was up at the sylph embassy.The wrought-iron fence was shut at the front, and there were a lot of guards patrolling around the building. They weren’t guards lazily making their rounds. These guards were on high alert, attention scanning across the street and eyes darting all over. I saw hands with white knuckles gripping spears and could almost feel the electric buzz of unreleased magic even though I was still some ways away.“Fantastic,” Amaryllis muttered. “We let Caprica out of our sight for an hour or two and this happens.”"What happened?" I asked, turning toward Amaryllis.She gave me a weird look for a second, then realized I was asking her a question. "How would I know?" she answered."But ... you said 'this happens' with so much confidence!"Amaryllis huffed, rolling her eyes. "Broc, I meant this," she gestured to the sylph embassy, where the guards were eyeing us with open suspicion. "This, as in, the extremely high alert posture we can see right in front of us. Those guards look like someone just told them that they’re about to be invaded within the hour. I bet if you set off a firecracker they’d fling a dozen spells at you before the echo has time to retort.”“That was oddly specific,” Awen muttered.I hummed, then glanced across the street from the embassy. An old grenoil gentleman was sitting on a bench, one leg crossed over his thigh, his eyes regarding the embassy with interest. “One sec,” I said before I walked over to him. I felt my friends keeping up behind me. “Hello, sir!”The grenoil blinked. “Yes? Can I help you?”“Hi! My name’s Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch,” I said.“Ah, ze name is Félix,” he croaked amiably.“Do you happen to know what's going on with the Sylph embassy?” I asked, gesturing towards the compound.“Ah, oui, zere 'as been quite ze commotion,” Félix said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Ze embassy, it 'as been on lockdown since zis morning. I 'eard zat someone 'as been kidnapped.”“Kidnapped? Who?” I asked, my heart sinking.Félix looked around conspiratorially before leaning in closer. “I 'eard it is someone very important. A noblewoman, I believe. I ‘aven’t ‘eard gossip zis good in a long while!”“Oh no, that’s concerning,” I said, a pit forming in my tummy. “Thanks for letting me know, Monsieur Félix.”He nodded, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Ah, ze young people always bringing excitement.”I rejoined my friends, who were looking both concerned and impatient. “So?” Amaryllis pressed.“Looks like there’s been a kidnapping,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “Someone important, likely a noblewoman.”Amaryllis and Awen exchanged looks. “I really hope it’s not Caprica,” Awen said, her voice tinged with worry.“It’s definitely Caprica,” Amaryllis said, dashing any hope Awen and I might have had.“Do you think I can help?” Booksie asked. “Cholondee has her mobsters, and I could convince Rhawrexdee to help. He’s hard to ignore when he wants something.”“That would just cause a bigger diplomatic issue,” Amaryllis said. “The sylph don’t like dragons for... historical and dietary reasons. Broccoli, go bother the gate guard into telling you everything he knows.”“I don’t know if I can do that,” I said.“Just wiggle your cute little nose at him,” she said.I covered my nose again. “You heard that? No, I mean, my nose isn’t cute! Or little! It’s a perfectly average-sized nose!”
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Five — Let's Not Jump to Conclusions
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Five — Let's Not Jump to Conclusions “Can the sylph embassy kidnap Caprica?” I asked. We were milling not too far down the street from the embassy itself. Hopefully we didn’t look too suspicious, but then again, we were on a street with several embassies. The Harpy Mountain and Mattergrove buildings weren’t too far away, which gave us an alibi for why Awen and Amaryllis might be out here.There wasn’t a bun embassy, because as far as I knew, there wasn’t a bun nation out there, which was a little disappointing, actually.“Legally? Probably not,” Amaryllis said. “But I imagine that a case could be made if they’re saving one of their own citizens. A noble, no less.”“I don’t think Caprica would be happy about that,” I said.“I can’t imagine she would be, no,” Amaryllis agreed.“Awa, maybe we’re jumping to the wrong conclusion?” Awen suggested. She fidgeted as we all turned her way. “Caprica is... not shy,” she said. “If she was told that she wasn’t allowed to leave, or if someone tells her what to do, I think she wouldn’t go quietly. The embassy isn’t on fire, so ... she probably isn't being imprisoned inside.”“That’s a good point,” I said.“It is?” Booksie asked. “Your friends are rather intimidating, aren’t they?”Amaryllis’ brows shot up. “Said the fiancée of a dragon?”Booksie sniffed. “He’s a big softy once you get to know him.”I clapped my hands, getting everyone’s attention back on track. “Awen might be right. Maybe she wasn’t kidnapped. Maybe they’re just handling her as if she’s a princess that went missing. So they’re making sure she’s okay, and has everything she wants. You know how the sylph are about their princesses.”“I suppose that’s as possible as anything else,” Amaryllis said. “Which is why you should walk up to the embassy and ask nicely. Do you think you can do that without being arrested?”“Yes?” I tried. “But I’d rather do it with you?”Amaryllis sighed, and while it wasn’t quite as communicative as one of her huffs, I still heard the ‘of course she said yes’ in that sigh. “Alright, fine. But if we all end up in a cell, I’m blaming you.”“We won’t end up in a cell!” I said.With a skip in my step and an arm linked with Booksie’s and a surprised Awen’s, I led my friends over towards the Embassy. It wasn’t long before the guards noticed our approach. They tensed up a little, but didn’t set off any alarms.“Hello,” I said as I came right up to the gate.“Ma’am,” the guard behind it said. “I’m afraid that the embassy is closed today.”“We’re not here for official stuff,” I said. “We wanted to see one of our friends.”The guard frowned, then glanced at his companions as if checking for confirmation. “Which friend would that be, miss?”“I’m Captain Bunch, of the Beaver Cleaver. I think some of my crew came here? One’s a cat person, with a nice hat? They’re a calico, I think. The other is a sylph.” I gestured tall for Calamity, then much shorter for Caprica. “About this high, a girl. She’s very princess-y.”"Are you trying to dig for information?" he asked."No?"He eyed me sharply. "Be advised that this embassy is sovereign sylph territory.""Look, I just want to see if Calamity and Caprica are ok-” My words turned into a squeak as I was suddenly yanked forwards. I heard my friends protesting behind me as they were pulled in too.By the time I registered what was happening, we were all on the paved ground in front of the embassy, hands linked at the small of our backs and sylph all around.“Uh, I think there was a misunderstanding,” I said.“Bring them inside,” one of the guards said. “To the cells.”“Broccoli, I said I’d blame you, didn’t I?” Amaryllis said.“You did,” I said as I was tugged up to my feet rather rudely.“Well, I’m blaming you,” Amaryllis said with some finality. “And you, stop tugging so hard. You haven’t the faintest idea who we are, it’s idiotic to presume you can just bully as you want.”The guards weren’t very talkative, or very friendly, as they marched us into the embassy with our hands held behind us.“This is interesting,” Booksie said as one guard went around and started to manacle us. “I’ve never been arrested before.”“I was, once,” I said.“Broccoli, stop incriminating us,” Amaryllis said.We were led into the embassy itself, which, in contrast to the building's stark exterior, was nice and opulent. Not that we got to see those nice parts because we were shoved down a side passage and down a staircase into what looked a lot like a dungeon.“There aren’t enough cells for all of them,” one of the guards said.“Put the human and that bun together in the large cell, the harpy and the ‘captain’ can go apart,” another guard said.It wasn’t long before we were all shoved into the appropriate cages. They had floor-to-ceiling bars and metallic cage doors that were locked behind us after we were shoved in.The guards filed out of the room, except for two that stayed by the entrance. The room was lit by a single magical lamp by the exit, and that was it.“Well, that took a turn,” Amaryllis said.“We’re going to have to work on our dinner plans,” Booksie said. “I hope it won’t interfere with my reading time tomorrow.”“Do you always think about reading time first?” Amaryllis asked.Bookie smiled. “It’s something Rhawr and I share. I can pinpoint the number of pages I’ve read by the rumbles of my stomach sometimes. It’s better than any clock!”“I’m sure this’ll all work out in the end,” I said. “We do have other friends that haven’t been arrested, right?”“Oh, I’m sure we’ll be fine. Probably,” Booksie said. She looked up to the ceiling. “Assuming this doesn’t all collapse on our heads.”“Um?” Awen asked.“Cholondee was just bragging about how safe Port Royal has become ever since she took over ‘additional security duties.’ She might want to make an example of things. Honestly, we might want to use that as our ticket out of here, because the collateral might not be pleasant, especially if we’re the collateral. I’ve had a book or two fall on my head before and I came out of it entirely unharmed, but I’m not sure about a building.”This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report itI leaned forwards against the bars and looked towards the guards. “Do we get a phone call?” I asked.They didn’t answer, not even to ask what a phone was.“Well,” Amaryllis said, pulling herself to a standing position by gripping the bars, “that didn’t work out the way you’d planned, Broccoli. Any other bright ideas?”“I’m not entirely sure,” I said, looking forlornly at the guards who refused to acknowledge our existence.Booksie, who was in the same cell as Awen, looked contemplatively at the magical lamp. “Do you think they’ll bring us some books to read while we’re here? At the very least, it would be courteous, right?”I blinked as I noticed Awen patting Booksie on the back, then I tugged at my hands, which were still firmly manacled together. How’d she get those off?A commotion erupted somewhere upstairs, voices carrying down through the corridors in swift echoes. The voices grew louder, a cacophony of urgent whispers and stern rebuttals. The guards at the entrance seemed a little worried, but they didn’t move away from their position.The door to the basement blew open, nearly knocking over one of the guards, and a well-dressed Caprica came stomping in. The guards stepped up to stop her, saw who it was, then snapped back to attention next to the walls as if their armour was magnetised.She stomped over to the middle of the cells, looking at each of us in turn. Her attention stopped on Booksie. “Oh, you must be Broccoli’s bun friend, Booksie?”“Hello,” Booksie said.“A pleasure, I’m Caprica,” Caprica said with a gentle smile while more guards poured into the room. They really had a lot of those here.Accompanying them was an older, distinguished-looking sylph man who was evidently struggling to maintain his composure. “Princess Caprica, I insist that we follow the proper diplomatic protocols. Detaining them was an unfortunate misunderstanding, yes, but we cannot simply-”“Unfortunate misunderstanding? The embassy has kidnapped the airship captain that saved the king’s life, the niece of a world-renowned hero who is herself a genius, a dragon’s fiancée, and an emissary from Harpy Mountain. This isn’t a misunderstanding, it’s a diplomatic nightmare,” Caprica cut him off.The diplomat sighed. “Very well, we will release them immediately. We can smooth this over. The dignity of the sylph nation cannot be compromised.”“Hah! You should have thought about that before you had my friends arrested,” she shot back, glancing back at us with an eye-roll. “Now, open the cells.”“Oh,” Awen said as she pushed her door open. “I, um, unlocked mine already. Sorry.”“Can you do mine?” I asked as I turned to show my manacles.There was a clunk from Amaryllis’ cell as she moved her arms around to her front and rubbed at her wrists. Her manacles were half melted on the ground behind her, the loops smoking. “What?” she asked. “They didn’t even search us.”Caprica looked at the older sylph gentleman, who stuttered in reply. “We don’t strip prisoners here, not until we’re done with basic interrogations. In case they’re people of import.”“I can’t decide if I should be disappointed, or who I should be disappointed with,” Caprica muttered.“You should be disappointed in Broccoli, this is all her fault,” Amaryllis said.“Hey,” I whined. It wasn’t my fault at all! That was just mean.“Broccoli’s fault or no, we are being released, right?” Booksie asked. “I’ve always wondered what prison was like for the characters in books I read, but I was never this keen on experiencing it myself.”“Yes, of course,” the diplomat said. “I must apologise for the inconvenience. These are uncommon times, and our guards are currently at their highest state of alert. It’s only natural that they acted as they did.”I didn’t think it was all that natural, actually. Being nice and helpful might have been much more natural, but then again, I wasn’t a sylph.A guard unlocked my cell, and I turned around for my manacles to be removed. “Thank you,” I said before turning to Caprica. “So, did you get stuck in here? Is Calamity with you?”“He’s upstairs gorging himself on our hospitality,” Caprica said. “I swear, you give that man one plate of imported fish and he turns rabid.”I held back a giggle. Amaryllis’ cell was unlocked before she could get too annoyed and melt through the lock, and then Booksie’s cuffs were removed too.Caprica led the way out of the dungeon, her heels clicking on the stone floor with a mix of authority and irritation. Maybe because she was wearing heels to begin with. In all the time I'd known her, I couldn’t recall her ever wearing such things. And she was in a dress that was very much unlike the more military uniform she usually wore. It seemed like it fit, but wasn’t something I saw her wearing before.Caprica brought us past a reception room above, with little treasures on plinths along the sides, then into a small library with a few plush couches set so that people could have a comfortable discussion. A hearth was to one side, a few crackling logs burning within even though it was hardly cold enough to warrant a fire.Calamity was lounging on a plush divan, a plate of stripped fish bones balancing on his belly and a goblet of wine set on the floor next to him. When he saw us, he bounced to his feet, catching the plate before it flew off. “Captain! You’re free!” he cheered. “And Awen, oh, and another bun!”“What am I, a footnote?” Amaryllis grumbled."You wouldn't believe the food they have here. It's like a culinary tour of the world. But, um, I was worried about you all, of course. I was planning a break out once I was done with dessert!"
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Six — Draw the Party Line
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Six — Draw the Party Line “Thank you,” Caprica said to a nice sylph who came by and placed a tray of little finger foods onto the table in the centre of the room, right where everyone sitting around it could reach.The young sylph’s face went red and he bowed towards Caprica twice before scampering out of the room.“Are they all like that?” Amaryllis asked as she looked over the contents of the plate, then picked out one of the snacks.Caprica sighed. “They are, yes. The sylph in Port Royal are only a small minority of the city's population, most of them come from Sylphfree and work with or around the embassy. I’m worried that they’ve made themselves somewhat insular, and they seem to basically worship the royal family.”“You’d think being separated would dull the fanaticism,” Amaryllis mused.Booksie shook her head. “That’s not how it works. At least, from what I’ve noticed myself... usually in books. But you see it a lot in Port Royal. There are a lot of little areas in the city where people from different places all group up. They tend to almost exaggerate their home culture. There’s a Pyrowalkian block that sells a lot of stuff from back home, for example. I think maybe it's something like homesickness, or perhaps being surrounded by foreigners causes them to idealise their homeland.”“I think it’s something like that,” Caprica said. “The sylph here are more loyal to Sylphfree’s royalty than the royalists back in the capital. Which wouldn’t be any sort of problem if I wasn’t right here. I swear, I’ve only been here for a few hours, but I suspect that the average sylph here thinks that I can do no wrong.”“Then why were you kidnapped?” I asked.“Kidnapped? No, they’re ‘keeping me safe’ against my own will. It won’t last. The moment I put a foot down they’ll fold.”“Does that mean that they won’t tie you up and drag you back home?” Awen asked.Caprica blinked, then parsed the question. “I think I’ll be fine,” she said. “If anything, we have staunch allies while we’re here. I just can’t overstay my welcome.”“What’s that mean?” I asked.“It means that if... no, when, news that I’m here reaches the capital, they might... kindly ask the local embassy to tie me up and drag me back home, as Awen so eloquently put it. They might even listen. The sylph here are enamoured with royalty, but the ambassador has a good head on his shoulders.”“Will we need to sneak you out of here?” I asked in a low whisper so that only my friends would hear.“After I’m done with these,” Calamity said as he plucked another canape from the plate.“No, I should be able to just walk out. Now, whether they’ll send an entire escort with me or not, that’s up for debate,” Caprica said. “In any case, I don’t intend to spend the rest of the day here. I’d be far more comfortable sleeping in the Beaver than here.”I smiled. Having Caprica feel like the Beaver was home made something nice and warm glow within my chest. It was home to me too, but home was mostly about the friends and family you had than about the place itself. “I’d like it if you were at the Beaver too.”“Then it’s settled,” Caprica said with a decisive nod. “We’ll head back to the Beaver. At least, once we’re done with this plate, which shouldn’t take long.” She looked pointedly at Calamity, who was stuffing his face again. He shrugged innocently.“The tea is nice, at least,” Booksie said.“Oh, right, Booksie will probably want to go home too at some point,” I said. “And we have a heap of other things to do as well.”Amaryllis nodded. “Awen needs her parts, and we need to visit the Exploration Guild, there are papers to fill.”“Should we split up?” Caprica asked. “I’d love to spend some time with you, Booksie. Broccoli told me a bit about you, and I’d be remiss not to make friends while I have the opportunity.”“Ah, are you certain?” Booksie asked. “I’m just a bookshop bun, nothing too special. You’re an actual princess.”Caprica snorted. “Nonsense. Trust me, I need to make as many good friends as I can while I can. My past will catch up to me eventually, and then I’ll be dragged back to Sylphfree and probably watched over like a stray dragon for a while.”I grinned. It was nice seeing Caprica so eager to make more friends, although it could be hard to make friends so quickly and effortlessly. I was working really hard on that and was still a ways away from being good at it.“Actually,” Amaryllis said, and there was a definite note of scheming-ness in her tone that immediately worried me. “This could be an opportunity.”“Oh?” Caprica asked. She had the same note in her voice, which only worried me even more.“What are you thinking?” I asked.“Well, Caprica’s embassy here has a lot more manpower than we have, and we just happen to have a monumental task ahead of us that we haven’t even started working on,” Amaryllis said.“The assassins?” Booksie asked.I’d hoped that she had more or less forgotten about that. I felt guilty bringing it up already, it was a worry on top of all the rest of the worries she had to deal with.“Exactly,” Amaryllis said as she gestured towards Booksie with a wing. “We’re just one airship crew. We can hardly be expected to scour a city the size of Port Royal to discover where a bunch of ne'er-do-wells are hiding and plotting. The embassy, on the other talon, is filled to the brim with overeager sylph. I peeked a little at your guards. Some of them are in their second tier. They’ll be pretty talented when it comes to spotting danger, and they’ll have training that we lack besides.”“That’s certainly an idea,” Caprica said. “But with the normal levels of animosity between the sylph and the average dragon, it’ll be hard for me to ask them to essentially foil a plot that goes against the local dragons.”Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.“Even if that plot is meant to start a super big, really bad war?” I asked.Caprica frowned and rubbed at her chin. “This is the same plot that set off those pirates to the north and which attacked the diplomatic mission heading to Sylphfree. And our airforce did participate in a raid against them already. I suppose we’ve laid down some precedent for us interfering.”“Alright, we'd be happy to have the hel ... wait.” I frowned. “Is this even a good idea? The sylph have an embassy here, but they don't have jurisdiction, right? They're not the city's law enforcement. I'm ... guessing they can't just go stomping around looking for bad guys, right?”Caprica shrugged. “It’s basic espionage. They should have plenty of experience with it here.”“Should you be admitting that?” I asked.Caprica rolled her eyes. “Of course not. But I expect all of you to be at least a little discreet about it. Besides, the embassy and its staff would just deny anything if asked.”“Can you get them to report to you?” Amaryllis asked.“Yes... maybe,” Caprica said. “Technically we’re both in entirely separate chains of command. The head ambassador of the embassy doesn't have to obey me, same for the chief of security. But I suspect that they’d both at least listen if I asked.”I wasn’t sure if it was okay or not to use Caprica’s influence to help, but if no one helped, then it would be much, much harder to catch any bad guys, and some pretty terrible things could happen. Booksie’s special day might be ruined! We had to do what we could to help!“It’ll take me a while to talk the head ambassador around. The chief of security will jump on this. I think he finds this posting to be something of a dead end,” Caprica said. “I think I’m going to miss out on visiting the Exploration Guild tonight.”“Oh no,” I said.Awen shook her head. “We shouldn’t go today anyway,” she said.We all turned towards her, and she shrunk back a little.“Uncle’s there. It’ll take him at least one day to tell all the stories of the things he’s been up to,” Awen said. “If we got there now, it’ll still take until tomorrow, at least, before we get anything done.”“So, we can put that off until tomorrow,” I said with a nod. “Should we shop for Beaver parts, then? I’m sure the sooner we have those, the sooner we can start fixing the ship up! Oh, and some parts might need to be ordered or custom-made! That’ll take even longer.”“That seems like a sensible choice,” Amaryllis said. “How about you take Booksie to see the Beaver and get those parts. I’ll stay here with Caprica and help her with the politics. If you don’t mind, that is?”“I wouldn’t mind at all,” Caprica demurred.Calamity yawned. “I’ll come with ya, Captain. Need to walk off all of this food.” Saying that, he reached over and plucked another canape.I nodded along. I was trading one friend for another. Temporarily, at least. “You’ll meet us back at the Beaver?” I asked Amaryllis.“Later, yes. I’ll try to drag Caprica back too, if I can,” she said.I didn’t like splitting up much, but it wasn’t like I had too much of a choice. And besides, it would be much easier on Booksie to make friends a few at a time, instead of having us all there at once.“I’m looking forward to seeing your ship, Broccoli,” Booksie said as she jumped to her feet. “And it was nice meeting you, Princess Caprica.”“Just Caprica to my friends,” Caprica said. “And I should be seeing you later. Hopefully in a less formal environment.”Calamity stood up too, stretching his arms over his head before he plucked his hat from the back of a chair and stuffed it onto his head.Caprica escorted us into the entrance hall, and I noticed the embassy staff standing at attention as she led us to the exit. Since we were splitting up, it was as good a time as any for goodbye hugs. Amaryllis fussed, of course, but she gave in to nuzzles and hugs soon enough, then it was Caprica’s turn. I couldn’t decide if the guards were envious of Caprica hugs or if they were about to jump in and toss me back into that cell.“You two will be alright without us?” I asked.“I’m more worried about you,” Amaryllis said. She handed me a small pouch that clinked metallically. “That’s our repair budget. Don’t go over it. Collect receipts and invoices. Let Awen do any negotiating.”Caprica chuckled. “Listen to your first mate, Broccoli; she knows what she’s doing. And don’t worry about us, we have an embassy full of sylph to keep us safe.”“I will, but you keep safe anyway, Caprica,” I said before giving her an extra bonus hug.We left the embassy, and I could feel the eyes of the guards on us until we crossed the gates and were on the street.“Alright, so, where to?” Calamity asked as he tilted his head back.“Awen knows what we need, more or less,” I said with a nod to Awen. I reached into a pocket and tugged out my notes. “And I have a list right here. Some of these things aren’t for the repairs though.”Booksie let out a long breath. “That was intense. Do you always have so much going on?”Calamity laughed at that and started walking backwards with his hands folded behind his head. “You have no idea, little bun. By the way, who is she?”“This is Booksie! Didn’t I tell you about her? Oh! Booksie, in case it wasn't clear, this is Calamity! He’s our... hmm, I guess he’s our ranger specialist? Hunter?”“I’m the pretty one in the crew,” Calamity said with a wink and a grin.Booksie shook her head, but she was smiling. “I think I see. Anyway, I don’t know too much about airship parts, but I do know Port Royal pretty well. I can lead the way, if you want?”“I’d love that,” I said.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Daytrip
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Daytrip Booksie ended up spending the night on the Beaver with the rest of us. Not that it was quite that simple.When we arrived, arms loaded up with boxes of stuff that Awen had picked out, we discovered that we had been followed. At some point, some local grenoil had taken to tailing us across the city. Calamity was the first to spot them, but there wasn’t much we could do. They’d hop away if we approached them and they generally kept out of the way.At the Beaver, the grenoil gathered along the pier, some of them sitting on crates that were stacked up there, others just milled about on the edges.I helped my friends and Booksie set down the things we’d bought so that Awen could sort through it all, then I went to check up on the grenoil.At first, they tried to casually move away from me, but the ones sitting on the crates were at the end of the pier, and it was easy to stand in their path, hands on my hips and my most fearsome pout on display to keep them rooted in place. “Hello,” I said. “I’m Captain Bunch, of the Beaver Cleaver, and I’d really like to know why you’re all sitting around here.”Two of the grenoil looked at each other. They were younger, I noted. Maybe in their early to mid teens, about the same age as the Scallywags, though they were, of course, a lot froggier. “I don’t know if we’re supposed to say,” one of them hedged.“It’s okay,” I said. “I just... well, we’re a little bit worried, is all.”The young grenoil rubbed his chin, then shrugged. “Ze great and all-powerful dragon, Cholondee, mistress of Port Royal and scourge of ze docks...” He made a few rolling gestures with his wrist, as if to say ‘and so on and so forth’ before he continued, “Has tasked us with keeping an eye on miss Booksie.”“Oh,” I said. These were probably some of the ruffians that Cholondee had recruited into her sorta-gang, then. “Well, Booksie’s nice and safe on the Beaver.”“You say zat, but we heard zat she was kidnapped by the sylph,” he said, his big eyes narrowing. “New travels fast in Port Royal.”“That was mostly a misunderstanding,” I said. “Did you want to talk to Booksie? Wait, does she know that you’re following her?”The grenoil looked at each other again, then shared a few shrugs. “I don’t zink so,” he admitted. “But zat’s not our problem. Cholondee, ze all-powerful, most beautiful, etcetera etcetera, said zat we need to keep an eye on her.”I rubbed at my own chin, the same way the grenoil had done. “Well, alright, if Chlondee says so, then I guess it’s not so bad. She’s just looking out for a friend. Do you guys need anything? Blankets, food?”“We... are okay?” he said.“Okay then!” I said with a clap. As long as they were comfy, then it was alright. I didn’t really mind that Booksie had some people watching out for her. If anything, it was probably a bit of a comfort. If anyone tried anything, there would be some nice locals there to help her in a jiffy.I returned to the Beaver after saying my goodbyes, then I checked up with the crew that had stayed behind.As it turned out, the Port Royal docks were very busy, which meant that there were all sorts of businesses running out of the docks. One of those was a service where some enterprising grenoil pushed around carts loaded up with local foods and sold them to the sailors stuck on board their ships.The Scallywags had met one of those earlier, and had loaded up on Port Royal delicacies. That was probably for the best, since I hadn’t refilled the pantry yet!The evening was nice. We showed Booksie around the ship, then I had the fantastic idea of hosting a sleepover, even if we had rooms to spare. Amaryllis and Caprica returned just in time to squeeze into the pillowfort Awen had erected within the dining room. Amaryllis, of course, thought that this was the height of silliness, but she flumped down onto a pillow herself and was soon wrapped up in warm blankets that muffled her complaints.The next morning, we woke up ravenous.“We have nothing to eat,” I complained as I looked into the pantry.That wasn’t entirely true. We did have food, the problem was that it was all canned stuff and I wasn’t in the mood to eat that so early in the morning. We were definitely out of fruits and veggies though. I discovered a lost and forgotten potato at the very back of the pantry that had tried to turn into an eldritch abomination of seeking roots and which was probably not edible anymore.“So, that’s the plan for today, then,” Amaryllis said. “We need to get supplies, and visit the Exploration Guild. And I imagine Booksie would like to get back home at some point.” She squirmed out of the eastern wing of the pillow fort, which had unfortunately taken some damage over night as it was sieged in our sleep and assaulted by stray arms and legs. “Also, someone needs to put this mess away.”“Who’s staying on watch?” I asked. “I did promise the crew that we would be letting everyone have some fun in Port Royal.”“Ah, I want to come, if that’s okay?” Awen asked. “To see Uncle again, if that’s where we’re going.”Amaryllis nodded. “I basically need to come, otherwise you’ll get yourselves into all sorts of trouble.”Booksie smiled, but shook her head. “I need to get back to my shop,” she said.“I’ll escort you over,” Caprica replied. “I think the Scallywags wanted to head out today. If they don’t mind escorting Booksie home first then I can play babysitter with them.”This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.I nodded along, that made sense. I didn’t want to send out any of my friends all on their own, but all of my friends were independent, and I couldn’t be with everyone all the time. The next best thing was making sure that everyone at the very least had a buddy.Caprica with the Scallywags, to watch over them and make sure they didn’t get too excited, and for them to help if Caprica got involved in something political again, and I could go with Amaryllis, Awen and probably Calamity to the Exploration Guild headquarters in the centre of the city.“The buddy system wins again,” I said.“What are you on about?” Amaryllis asked.“Ah, nevermind,” I said. “We should mark out a few places to meet, in case we get lost.”“Obviously the Beaver should count as one of those,” Amaryllis said.“And my shop,” Booksie added. “It’s a nice place. If any of you, or the other crewmates, gets lost, I can always make room for one more for the night. I have couches and blankets to spare.”I nodded along. “That’s a good start. There’s the Rock Inn and the Roll Inn. They’re right next to each other. I stayed there for a while, and the owner, Julien, was a very nice grenoil. It’s close to the centre of the city, too, and I bet the locals will know where it is if anyone asks.”“Ah, and the Exploration guild,” Awen said. “We’re not all members, but as long as one of us is, it should be alright to go in?”We split up soon after, giving everyone time to use the washroom and in some cases change into something different for the day out. I changed back into my usual gambeson and gear, though I decided to leave my breastplate and other armour behind. I didn’t expect to run into any trouble in Port Royal, so the extra weight would just be senselessly exhausting.The Scallywags were anxious to depart once everyone was on the topdeck, so I gave everyone their goodbye hug and told them to be safe while Amaryllis shared everyone’s pay out.Once Caprica was gone with the Scallywags, I asked Clive to keep an eye on the ship, then it was our turn to head out.The Exploration Guild was nestled on a street on the western end of the city, not too far from the docks, but a bit higher up the mountainside. The way the roads were laid out meant that we actually had to move deeper into the city before circling back and up. It at least gave us a chance to stretch our legs and wake up properly.We also discovered early morning food peddlers all over the place. “I love this city,” Calamity said as he came away from one cart with a pair of skewers with little blocks of steaming meat on them.“It’s nice,” I agreed. “It’ll be a nice spot for Booksie’s wedding, I hope.”“Oh, I’m looking forward to that,” Calamity said.“Because of the food?” Amaryllis asked.“Because of the food,” Calamity agreed.I rolled my eyes (because Amaryllis did it, and it looked fun) but didn’t poke any fun at Calamity. If he wanted to obsess over new foods to eat, then that was up to him.We actually got lost a little while searching for the Exploration Guild, but I figured that was just part of the fun of walking around and exploring. Next time we wouldn’t get lost as easily because we’d seen a little more of the city.Guild Row was one of the main streets in the upper parts of Port Royal. It was built at a fairly steep angle, so each step really worked on one’s calves. Colourful buildings lined both sides of the road, some decorated so that anyone looking at them could guess at which guild they belonged to.The culinary guild had pillars that looked like utensils, and the Courier’s guild had a semaphore tower poking out of the top of it.The Mage’s Guild, of course, had a bunch of floating pillars and little balls of glowing magic. I’d been very impressed when I’d seen it for the first time all those months ago. Now I recognized the spells and was even more impressed. How were they keeping them active for so long? Was someone recharging them? Could people even do that?The Exploration Guild headquarters were near the middle of Guild Row, a stately building with a large compass rose built into its front and the guild’s name beneath.I entered the guild first, then paused some ways into the lobby. Of all the Exploration Guilds I’d been to, the Port Royal branch was always the busiest, and today was no different. A group of grenoil moved around us towards the exit, all of them heared up for adventure. We traded polite nods when the leader of the group noticed the pin stuck to my lapel.“Greetings,” said a grenoil woman behind a waist-high counter. “Welcome to the Exploration Guild. How can I assist you?”“We’re looking for Abraham,” I said.The grenoil winced. “There’s no one by that name here.”“There isn’t?” I asked.“You’ll have to find this Abraham elsewhere if he owes you any money, I’m afraid,” she said.I blinked. “Uh. What?”Awen sighed. “Uncle Abraham’s my uncle,” Awen said. “Hi. I’m Awen Bristlecone. Do a lot of people come here asking him for money?”The secretary deflated a little. “Money, complaints, once a young lady brought a child that she claimed was his.”Awen stared, mouth opening then closing a couple of times. “W-was it?”“Oh? Oh no, I don’t think anyone has to worry about something like that,” the grenoil said with a dismissive wave. “If you don’t mind giving me a moment, I’ll go see if Abraham is actually here. You never know, with him.”“Thank you!” I said. I figured we wouldn’t have to wait long either way. If Abraham was somewhere, then it was usually obvious that he was around.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Return of the Bun
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Return of the Bun “Haha! You’re here!”I found myself grinning at the welcome. The Exploration Guild was just as I remembered. A big room with a huge fireplace, shelves laden with artifacts, a well-stocked bar, and of course, a multitude of old men and women sitting around and not doing very much exploring.At this rate, it might have been more accurate to call it the Old Gossips’ Guild. But that would have maybe been a bit rude.“Hi Uncle,” Awen said with a bob of her head.Abraham hopped out of his seat and was across the room in a blink. My friends and I cowered back into the entranceway, but that didn’t matter. Abraham was upon us... and then he was gone, and there was a conspicuous lack of Awen by my side.“Everyone!” Abraham roared. “This is my favourite niece! She's the best damned mechanic that you sorry lot have ever seen! Haha!”Judging by the mortification on Awen’s face, she was currently trying to cast a new spell, maybe something like ‘dig hole’ right under her feet, but it wasn’t going to work with Abraham’s arm around her back keeping her in place.“Ah, I remember when we first learned of her talent! I brought back this fine Snowlander crossbow that I’d lost a few years ago and had just found in the possession of this forest troll near Elkensteel! Thing was bent out of shape and stank to high heavens! Now, I brought the thing home, thinking I’d dunk it in some soap then toss it in the trophy cabinet, but the next thing I know, little Awen here had it taken apart!”“Uncle,” Awen whined.“Then I watched her put it back together! It didn’t work, but I was impressed anyway! Haha!”“Uncle!” Awen whined louder. I started moving closer; being that red in the face couldn’t be healthy.Abraham finally let go of Awen so that he could place his hands on his hips and push his chest out, the very image of a prideful old man. “She’s taken to the Bristlecone traditions, she has! Been running around all over, setting fires and tossing cats into trees and the like. And she has my signature good looks! Haha! Mathilde, you’ve got an unmarried daughter, don’t you? The spinster in charge of that lady’s club! I bet Awen and her would get along!”“U-uncle!” Awen shouted. She swiped at Abraham, smacking him in the arm and setting off a loud guffaw from the big guy.I came up behind Awen and patted her comfortingly on the back. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” I said.“Yes, you probably don’t have anything to worry about,” Calamity said. “People this old, they won’t remember much come morning.”There was a sudden heat as the tension in the room rose. Some dozen old adventurers were focusing their gazes on him.“I was... joking?” Calamity said. He raised his hands in surrender, a rather wooden smile on his face.“Abraham,” someone said from across the room. “You do know that you’re not allowed to bring non-members here, right?”I glanced over, then blinked. The speaker was a short grenoil woman with a long scar across her face and more wrinkles than a deflated gasbag. Mathilde, the leader of the Port Royal Exploration Guild. “Hello, Mathilde!” I said with a wave.“Miss Bunch,” she said. “Miss Albatross.”“Oh! I’m a captain now!” I said. “It’s pretty nice. I should show you the Beaver one day. It’s a really good exploration ship.”The grenoil raised her brows a little. “Really now? Well, as a captain you might be able to understand operational security. This part of the building is for members of the guild only. It’s just about the only rule I can manage to enforce with this lot, and I don’t want to go breaking it now.”“Bah!” Abraham bah’d. “Awen ought to be a member too, then. And the cat can join too.”“Sure,” Calamity said. “Wait, it doesn’t cost anything, does it?”Mathilde stared at Calamity for a moment, one eyebrow slightly raised. “There's an initiation fee,” she began, her voice dripping with dry sarcasm, “which is primarily paid in common sense and good judgement. But don't worry, we have an occasional exception clause."Abraham chortled. "That's a good one, Mathilde! Remember the time they tried to make that cow an honorary member?"Mathilde sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Not in front of the guests, Abe. And if you want your niece to join, then she can go through the usual channels. You too,” she said, the last aimed at Calamity who gave her a quick salute.“Well then! What are we waiting for? Ten minutes and you’ll have your pins! Come on!” Abraham said before he swept Awen and Calamity out of the room. Neither really had a choice in the matter since Abraham had made up his mind already.Mathilde picked up a warm mug from the table nearest to her, then she made her way closer to Amaryllis and I who’d been left behind. “You two haven’t been here in a while,” she said.“Ah, yeah, we’ve been travelling a lot,” I said, then I winced. “We... uh, haven’t done much official Exploration Guild stuff.”“I know,” Mathilde said, and I felt my ears starting to wilt before I reached up with a hand and stretched them straight. “It’s not all bad, however. We have had plenty of layabouts and lazy members. I don’t usually care as long as they pay their dues. You two, however, have been doing plenty of work for the guild, whether it was official or not.”“We have?”Mathilde nodded. “Already, I've heard of your exploits in Sylphfree, and that’s hardly next door. Abraham said that you came in from the northwest, from all the way near the Snowlands?”“Yeah, we went the long way around,” I said.“I see. Well, so far the story is that a group of Exploration Guild members slew a dragon, saved the King of Sylphfree, and led the charge against a great pirate redoubt, saving hundreds of harpy nobles along the way.”“Those are... mostly not very accurate,” I said. “It wasn't a dragon, but some sort of giant worm, and the soldiers did most of the work. When we saved the king, we merely stalled the assassin until help arrived. And we didn't lead the charge against the pirates; that was also a team effort. We just helped where we could. The sylph did most of the work. We just tracked the pirates down, mostly.”Mathilde studied me with her sharp, intense eyes. They pinned me on the spot for a moment. “It’s rare to find humility, least of all in this room.”Amaryllis had been quiet, but she decided to change that with a shake of her head. “We don’t do what we do for the sake of grandiosity or for clout. We do what we must because we can-and because it needs doing. Or so I’d like to think.”Mathilde’s gaze shifted to Amaryllis. “Well said, Amaryllis. You’ve both grown since you were last here, Miss Albatross.”Amaryllis sniggered. “Hardly,” she demurred. “But... I was hoping that you wouldn’t mind entertaining Broccoli and I in your office for a moment. We need to talk, privately.”Mathilde stared at her for a long, tense moment before nodding curtly. “Very well. Follow me.”The three of us made our way through the room and to a second exit by the back, then through a short corridor that eventually led into a modest, well-organised office. The desk was cluttered with scrolls and papers, a map of the surrounding regions adorned the wall behind her, and the bookshelves were filled with well-worn books and journals.“These are my private offices,” she said. “I have a more ostentatious one downstairs, but it’s far too grand to get any actual work done. This one has the best privacy that one can have.”If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.“A rune-based system?” Amaryllis asked.Mathilde smiled. “Yes. But more importantly, obscurity. You wouldn’t believe how many magical listening devices, enraptured mice, or other creative bits of spycraft I’ve found in my office below. I loathe to imagine how many I’ve missed over the years.”Was the Exploration Guild worth spying on that much? All we did was check things out and sometimes get into trouble.“Now, what is it?” Mathilde sat behind her desk, her gaze fixed on Amaryllis, her arms folded.Amaryllis hesitated, then she pulled out a seat in front of the desk. I grabbed the other, plopping myself down and waiting for Amaryllis to start. She’d asked for the meeting. I had a few ideas of what she wanted to cover, but I didn’t know how much Amaryllis wanted to share.“You’ll recall Rainnewt,” Amaryllis said.Mathilde’s eyes narrowed. “I do,” she said. “He disappeared like so much smoke, the rat. I have a few of our more experienced teams keeping an eye out for him, not that I expect much success on that front.”Amaryllis nodded. “He's the one who tried to assassinate the King of Sylphfree. Before that, he also bombed a ball up in the nesting Kingdom, and a few weeks ago, he directed pirates to intercept the Harpy delegation to the diplomatic summit. Fundamentally, he seems to be launching false-flag attacks with the goal of sparking a continental war.”The guild leader said nothing, only listening intently."A continental war," Amaryllis went on, "a vast war that will drag every nation on the continent into itself. We originally suspected he desired open hostilities so that nations would activate their contingency plans and kill each other's dungeons, but-""What?" Mathilde interjected. She shifted in her seat, eyes narrowing. "Why?""Dungeons are under threat from...." Amaryllis trailed off and glanced at me uncertainly. "Did you ever tell her about the... roots?”I couldn’t remember telling Mathilde about it. A few others, sure, but never anyone too important in the Guild. I shook my head. "No, but we should probably tell her, right?""Right," Amaryllis turned back toward Mathilde and took a moment to get her thoughts in order. "Alright, yes, unrelated to the Rainnewt issue, dungeons are under threat from a kind of infection called Evil Roots. A lot of information passes by your desk, I can’t imagine you haven’t heard of something similar yet. They’re large plants, roots. They dig their way into the core and suborn the dungeon’s monsters."Mathilde frowned. "What happens when the infection runs its course?""We're not really sure," Amaryllis admitted. "But we do know the infection spreads from one dungeon to another, and the World is convinced that Evil Roots are dangerous. So dangerous that it gives out quests to destroy a dungeon that shows any sign of infection."Mathilde pinned us both with a look. I felt a chill crawl up my spine, even as Amaryllis unconsciously gulped.The pressure let up. "I see," Mathilde said, and I shifted guiltily. Something told me she believed we'd killed dungeons before."...Returning to the Rainnewt issue," Mathilde graciously changed the subject. "I assume you're implying that Rainnewt also knows of the Evil Root infection, and that is why he is trying to start a war which would activate the dungeon-destruction plans that most nations claim not to have.""Yes," Amaryllis nodded. "Or rather, that's our only real guess.""If so, it's more of an excuse than an explanation," Mathilde stated. "If he really cared about stopping the Evil Roots, he would report it to governments and guilds-even shout it from the rooftops if he had to. He would try to form a unified front against the infection, instead of driving nations into ruinous infighting."I blinked. Was that something I should have been doing? I could scream from a rooftop with the best of them."As I said, it's a guess," Amaryllis said. "And even apart from your counterargument, it's also possible to purge the infection from a dungeon without killing it.""Oh?" Mathilde sounded even more focused, if that were possible."S-Rank cleaning will do it," I offered."I see." Her gaze measured me.Amaryllis sighed. "At this point ... I don't know what's going through Rainnewt's head. I think you may be right, and he's just formulated an excuse to satisfy his desire to visit mayhem upon our world."“We can’t allow that,” Mathilde said, her gaze shifted between Amaryllis and me. “Did you find evidence of his whereabouts, or of his plans?”“We have some leads, but nothing concrete. We managed to thwart his attempt to smuggle weapons into Port Royal from the Snowlands. He was working with a harpy noble to push his agenda. The weapons were being brought here, specifically for the wedding.”“Is he an idiot?” Mathilde asked. “I wouldn’t dare try to interrupt a dragon’s wedding, and I can’t imagine that’s all he was planning to do if weapons were being brought over. That won’t start a war, it’ll start an international catastrophe.”“We stopped it,” I said. “Maybe? I think? But we’re worried that Rainnewt might have backup plans to ruin Booksie’s wedding with."Amaryllis leaned forward. “We need the Exploration Guild’s resources. We need to pool our knowledge and find him before he executes another one of his empty-headed schemes.”Mathilde stared at both of us, and I felt the tension ramping up as the seconds ticked on. I fidgetted in my seat, started to say something, but paused, then waited some more.I felt some sweat pooling at the small of my back, but didn’t dare reach over to do anything about it.Finally, after what felt like forever, she leaned back into her chair. “Very well. How can the guild help? I feel like we’re partially responsible for his previous actions. I should have caught on to him sooner, then none of this mess would be happening.”“We need to find out what he’s planning. I imagine that he’ll probably strike during the wedding. He seems overly fond of attacking big, obvious events. He’s exceptionally dramatic that way.”“We’re hardly good security,” Mathilde said. “If I set the guild’s veterans to watch over the wedding, half of them will be busier with the catering than looking for anything suspicious. And it’ll only be worse if there’s wine involved.”“Can you help in other ways, then?” Amaryllis asked. “You must have contacts within the city. I imagine whatever Rainnewt is doing will require agents in the city. They’re bound to do something suspicious.”Mathilde nodded. “We can do that. I’ll have the next few teams that return stay in the area. Some of them have no experience with this kind of thing, but I can think of a few individuals that know their way around. What about the dragoness?”“Cholondee, or Rhawrexdee’s mom?” I asked.“Cholondee,” Mathilde said. “She’s become the de facto leader of the city’s underground. I don’t think she pays much attention to her own faction, apart from its earnings, but this whole thing might interest her greatly.”I glanced at Amaryllis, then nodded. “I guess that’ll have to be our next stop,” I said. “You take care of the political sorts, and we’ll handle the dragons!”I almost felt bad. Mathilde had gotten the short end of that deal.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Planning Ahead
Chapter Four Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Planning Ahead “Thank you again,” I said to Mathilde as we exited her little office.The grenoil lady nodded her head. “It’s my job.”I was nodding when I noticed Amaryllis turning with a frown. “No it’s not,” she said. “The Exploration Guild’s purpose is surveying, cartography, dungeon-delving, exploration assistance, and — on rare occasions — diplomacy. I don’t see how interfering in international politics is the purview of the Explorations Guild.”Mathilde raised one brow. “Really? There might have been a time, once, when the guild tried to keep itself fully separate from politics, and some guild masters still believe that it is in the guild’s best interest to avoid that kind of machination, but I was never one of those.”“It puts the guild at risk,” Amaryllis said.“Everything we do is political. Even trying to avoid politics is a political action. If we’re going to be involved no matter what, then I want it to be on our own terms. That’s why I make our agenda as clear as possible. We don’t interfere with relations between countries where we can avoid it, but we openly share what we discover, encourage our members to grow stronger, and help in maintaining the peace and stability of the regions we operate in.”“And what about the guild members who don’t agree?” Amaryllis questioned, a hint of challenge in her eyes.Mathilde gave Amaryllis an incredulous look. “Do you think I get to choose what someone like Abraham Bristlecone agrees with? He might be the most egregious example in the guild, but he’s not the only powerful member. When you have this many people who are this strong, you don’t get to decide what they agree or don’t agree with. You just act as well as you can and hope for the best.”Amaryllis weighed her words for a while before responding. “Well, I suppose that makes sense. In any case, I shouldn’t protest the help too much. It would be nice to catch Rainnewt and his accomplices before they can get this next scheme off.”“We’ll do what we can,” Mathilde said. “And as long as we give it our all, we’ll be able to live with the consequences.” She paused by the entrance back into the... actually, I didn’t know what to call the room where Abraham and the other older members of the guild hung out? A lounge? A bar? It had a bit of everything going on. “I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, and that you’d trust me with this. What will you be doing next?”Amaryllis glanced my way .“I think we’ll collect our companions from Abraham’s clutches, then... I’ll sic Broccoli here on Cholondee. The dragon ostensibly controls the city’s underworld. They’d be some of the first people I’d reach out to if I was going something as foolish as what Rainnewt is doing. If her people have the time and energy to spy on Booksie, then I imagine they’ll have the same to search for troublemakers.”Mathilde nodded. “That seems reasonable. I’ll leave you to it, then.”“Thank you,” Amaryllis said.“We’ll see you around?” I asked Mathilde. “I think we’ll be in Port Royal for a little while!”“Of course,” Mathilde said with a nod.We slipped back into the maybe-lounge and found Abraham back with Awen and Calamity. They were both holding onto some papers. “Hi!” I said as I bounced over to their side. “Did it go well?”“Ah, yes?” Awen said, though she didn’t sound all that certain. She raised the paper she was holding, and I got a glance at it. It looked very official, with the Exploration Guild’s compass rose stamped onto it and everything.“Looks like the guild is taking their new member registration more seriously,” Amaryllis said from my side.Awen nodded along. “They took a lot of information. I’m not a member though. I need to participate in a mission certified by the guild. Um, a training mission? Then I’ll get my pin.”“Same here,” Calamity said. “Guess it doesn’t matter what kind of skills you’ve got, they still want to make sure you fit in, or something like that.”That much made sense. “Do you know when that training exercise will take place?” I asked.“There’s one starting tomorrow,” Awen said. “I didn’t say yes, though. I don’t know if it would be smart to leave the Beaver for a whole day.”I rubbed my chin, then shrugged. “Depends on the mission, I guess. Where is it?”“Just in the forest down below,” Calamity said. “They wanna leave at some unworldly hour of the morning to make it there before noon, then get back overnight.”“That sounds fine,” I said. “We should order all the parts and stuff you need now, so that they’ll all arrive tomorrow or during the week. We don’t have anything planned tomorrow, do we?”“Not that I’m aware of, no,” Amaryllis said.I nodded. “In that case, if you really wanna get the mission out of the way, then you should,” I said. I’d be worried, of course. The mission that Amaryllis and I ran, way way back when we first met each other, was pretty darned scary and much more dangerous than it should have been, but I had confidence in Awen.Besides, she was stronger now than I had been on my training mission, and Calamity would be going too!“I think I’d like that,” Awen said. “Uncle would like it too. Actually... my parents would really dislike it.”“All the more reason to do it,” Calamity said before giving Awen’s back a pat.“Awa, I suppose so. They’ll find out. Exploration Guild membership is public record. It’ll make them, ah, look a little bit bad, maybe?”“Only because Mattergrove is backwards,” Amaryllis said. “In most places having a family member in the guild is a great honour. Besides, your family’s great wealth is mostly due to your uncle, and he’s very obviously part of the guild as well. Your parents will only be embarrassed because they’ve embarrassed themselves. It’s through no fault of your own.”This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.Awen smiled. “I know,” she said. She was standing tall, and as I looked her up and down, I noticed that she looked like she fit right in. She was geared up just as well as some of the adventurers here, and I bet she could give a bunch of them a run for their money.It was nice seeing Awen so self-assured. “Alright! So, we need to visit Cholondee. If Awen and Calamity will be off tomorrow, would it make sense to try and visit her now?”“I suppose so,” Amaryllis said. “We don’t know if she’s even in the city, so it might not hurt to try and discover what her schedule is like.”That made sense. We’d met Cholondee on the way over, and it had looked like she was on patrol, clearing the skies of pirates. Maybe that was a regular thing for her? If she was often out and about that way, then there was a good chance that we’d miss her. “We can go check. I imagine she spends some time at the... uh, mob headquarters place. And if not, maybe she’s home? We could say hi to Rhawrexdee and his mom too!”With a goal in sight and the clock ticking on, we decided to say goodbye to Abraham and the others in the guild. One of these days, I’d just have a sit and chat with all of them. Abraham’s stories were always a blast, and I imagined that I was missing out on a ton of other cool stories from the... less-Abraham-y characters there.“Good luck on your quest!” Abraham said before he rubbed Awen’s head, mussing her hair up into a tangled mess. “Show those no-good paperpushers what a Bristlecone can do!”“I will,” Awen replied with a determined smile.Calamity gave a lighthearted salute. “We’ll be back before you know it, ready to officially join the ranks.”We exited the building, finding ourselves once again enveloped by the hum and hustle of Port Royal. Cholondee and her mobsters weren’t in the same part of the city as Guild Row. They were much further down and south, so we had a good ways to go before we made it there.We took off, heading towards the lower tiers of the city, through a couple of gates in the city walls, and through less and less opulent areas. Port Royal’s nicer areas smelled a little... interesting. Like old gym socks and horse poop. The areas further south smelled a whole lot worse.Because the city was built into the mountainside, it was stuck onto solid stone, which, I imagined, made it tricky to do sewage. So there were big coppery pipes hanging above the streets, angled so that they were always carrying stuff downwards with gravity.In the nicer parts of the city, they were disguised, or hidden in alleys, but in the parts we were now, they were a lot more obvious and not nearly as well-maintained, which meant leakage, and a persistent stinkiness to the roads.“What’s this part of the city called again?” I asked. The homes here were all wooden, instead of the worked stone further up in the city.“The Slumways,” Amaryllis said. “They’re called the Slumways, and likely for good reason.”“Not the prettiest name I’ve heard,” Calamity said. “It does fit with the general... smell of the place.”“You’d think a place as well-off as Port Royal would be able to take care of all of the people living there,” I said. Though, it did look better than how I remembered it. There were fewer people sitting on the roadside, and the roads themselves looked cleaner.We passed by a group of younger grenoil, dressed in little suits with little caps on, sweeping the streets clean with long-handled brooms. They looked like the grenoil mafia people I remembered.The headquarters of the group Cholondee had taken over stood as a sharp contrast. It was nestled in between the grungy lanes of the Slumways. A small mansion made of stone, old and elegant and authoritative, with a decently-sized plot of land next to it.There had been a fountain in the centre once, I recalled, but now it was gone and a lot of the space was paved over with gravel.A fence ran around the exterior, but it was opened up at one end, the entrance flanked by a pair of large stone dragons guarded by a pair of toughs.“Hello,” I said with a wave to the guards. “Is this still the headquarters of the gang Cholondee took over?”The guards glanced at each other, then one of them spoke. “You any of zese?” he asked as he turned to point to a plaque fixed to the fence.“Yeah, if you’re on zat list, you’re not getting in,” the second guard said.ABSOLUTELY NO:AdventurersAssassins
ConmenConwomen
ConpeopleDragon SlayersMinistry of Trade RepresentativesRival GangstersSolicitors“Um, nope, we aren’t any of those,” I responded with a chuckle, scanning the extensive list. It seemed like Cholondee had her share of unwanted visitors. “We’re actually friends of Cholondee. We just wanted to see if Cholondee was here and talk with her.”The two guards looked at each other and seemed to communicate silently for a moment. “Alright,” the first one said, “but you'll be leaving your weapons here. If she's in, you can meet with her. If not, you're leaving immediately.”Amaryllis nodded in agreement. “Understood.”The guards had us deposit our weapons into a sturdy-looking chest by the gate. Once we were disarmed, they allowed us to proceed through the gates.The interior of the compound was neat and orderly. A few grenoil, who I assumed were members of the gang, lounged about, though they straightened up and watched us as we walked through. They didn't seem hostile, just curious.I could see why they weren’t nervous. There was a massive pile of pillows off to one side, an absolute mountain of them. lounging on top, resting on her side with her tummy bulging out a little, was Cholondee.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty — Modern Draconic Monetary Theory
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty — Modern Draconic Monetary Theory “Introducing, her royal eminence, queen of ze shadows, ze light, and all ze shades in between. Ze great warlizard, ze eater of people who don’t pay zeir fines on time and who talk during plays, Daughter of Port Royal, Queen of ze underground, Mistress of Mystique, Sovereign of Secrecy, and Wielder of Wisdom. Ze Guardian of Gold, ze Doyenne of Diamonds, and ze Tyrant of Treasures. Defender of ze downtrodden, punisher of perpetrators, and ze undying flame in ze heart of ze abyss. Slayer of sirens, wrangler of rogues, and ze bane of bandits. Ze elegant empress whose roar silences zunder, whose gaze can pierce zrough ze zickest of fogs, and whose very presence commands respect, awe, and a wee bit of terror. Ze unyielding, ze unparalleled, ze unmatched — behold, ze great Cholondee!”The grenoil announcing Cholondee took a few deep breaths. It looked like he’d tired himself out going on and on like that, and now he was panting atop a small milkcrate off to one side, arms splayed out towards the still-lounging Cholondee.“What’s a doyenne?” I asked.Cholondee raised her head from her mound of shiny things. “A doyenne is the title for a woman who is the greatest in her field,” she explained.“Oh, that makes sense,” I said with a nod. “Thanks! I don’t think I’d ever heard that one before.”“It’s Grenoil,” Cholondee explained, which really only made sense, seeing as how this was a majority-grenoil city. She turned towards the announcer grenoil. “You forgot a part.”“Oh?” they asked before they stumbled off of their box and bowed low. “Forgive us, great Cholondee! Zhis one... doesn’t know which one he forgot?”Cholondee sniffed. “You forgot to mention that I’m a dragon.”“Ah.”Cholondee turned her head our way, then squinted a little. “Oh, it’s you. Broccoli and her bunch.”“Yup!” I said. “You recognize Amaryllis and Awen, and this is Calamity! He’s technically the newest member of the crew, but he’s been with us for a while.”“Isn’t that Caprica?” Calamity asked. “She joined after me, nya?”I hummed, tapping my chin. “I guess she did. It feels weird because we knew her for a while before. I’m sorry!”“I’m not taking offence,” Calamity said.Cholondee’s head snaked closer. “Now that you’re done sorting through yourselves, will you tell me why you’re here?”Grinning, I bounced on the balls of my feet a bit before answering. “We came for a few reasons. First, to thank you for the help the other day. I was wondering if there was anything you’d like as a gift?”Cholondee blinked. “Yes, I would like a gift,” she said. A long tongue slipped out between her lips. “If you’re wondering what sorts of things I like, consider gold, jewellery, meat, or fine teas.”“Oh, I had the Tea Making skill until recently. It got gobbled up and turned into another skill, so I’d love an opportunity to test out my tea making skills now! We could have a little party. I’m sure we can find some cakes and pastries. They do make pastries with meat in them, right?”“They do?” Cholondee asked. “What an intriguing concept. Yes, I’d accept that as a gift. When would this tea party happen?”“What about tomorrow?” I asked. Calamity and Awen would be on their little adventure, but otherwise I didn’t think I had anything planned for the next day.“Tomorrow is acceptable. I look forward to it,” Cholondee said. She sounded exceptionally smug.I heard Amaryllis sigh next to me. “We’re going to need to visit every butcher in the city for this, aren’t we? So much for keeping to a budget.”“Was that all you came here for?” Cholondee asked.I shook my head. “No, no, that’s not it. But the rest is... a little more sensitive. Uhm do you think we could talk in private?”Chlondee blinked at me. “I am a dragon,” she said. “I don’t fit into private little rooms. But if you need privacy....” She turned to one of the grenoil rogues nearby. “Give us space.”The grenoil didn’t hesitate to clear the yard. I wasn’t sure if I could trust that none of them would be listening in from afar, but if they did, they’d be running the risk of annoying their boss, and maybe of being eaten? I was really hoping that Cholondee didn’t make a habit of eating her workers. That sounded like the kind of thing that unions were started to prevent.“Thank you,” I said.“You’re welcome,” Cholondee said. “And I’m a dragon.”“Uh... yes, you are,” I agreed. “Anyway... I don’t know how to break this to you. Um. Are you invested in your brother’s wedding, much?”“I am!” Cholondee said. She perked up and her tail thwumped down onto her pile of goodies. “Once my brother is married, he will be too busy with honeymoons and married life to strengthen himself more. My rulership of Port Royal’s underworld is helping me gather a great big hoard and I am making many allies. Soon I’ll be much stronger than Rhawrexdee ever was. Then he will be the little sibling!”“Is that how it works?” I asked.Cholondee shrugged her wings. “Why shouldn’t it be?”“Well, if you say so,” I said. “Do you like Booksie?”“Hmm, yes. She’s good company. She knows many books, and is learning how to be a good little dragon herself. I don’t like her the way Rhawr does. If the wedding doesn’t work out, then maybe I’ll let her be one of my chief minions. She can be my bookkeeper.”“Wow, that sounds like quite the compliment,” I said.“It is!” Cholondee said. “It’s not everyone that a dragon would trust to keep an eye on their hoard of non-liquid assets.”Amaryllis perked up at that. “Non-liquid assets?”“Gold is good. But gold depreciates and appreciates in value over time in unpredictable ways. Real-estate, bonds, and ownership of companies is a lot more reliably profitable. I am a smart dragon, and I understand that. Old dragons don’t. They already have hoards to sit upon. But if I want to retire, then I’ll want the greatest of hoards. That means making shrewd investments, and then burning down the competition.”The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.“Booksie’s helping you with that?” I asked.“Yes! She’s quite skilled with numbers and writing them in the little squares of a ledger book. And she knows history well too, which makes predicting the future a lot easier. Besides, it’s nice to have someone who can understand and appreciate the more complex facets of hoarding. My brother’s hoard might be big, but it’s a cluttered mess with no finesse. I hope she’ll help him clean up his act!”I nodded, mulling over what Cholondee had shared. “So, the wedding is important to you because it keeps Rhawrexdee preoccupied. But you also value Booksie’s assistance and company. Got it! I’m happy you get along well with Booksie. You’re going to be sisters soon, after all.”“Sisters?”“Sisters-in-law, at least,” I said.“Ah,” Cholondee said. “Yes, I suppose that some cultures do that. Dragons don’t usually see things in quite that way, but I suppose... hmm, a sister. I wouldn’t mind a little sister. So, does that answer your questions about my investment in her wedding?”I took a deep breath. “Ah, that’s not quite why we’re here. We’re here because there might be a hiccup with the wedding. And we might need your help.”She leaned in, hot breath washing over me. “Go on.”“There’s this guy called Rainnewt. He’s basically... uh, a bad guy. And we think he’s planning on ruining Rhawrexdee’s and Booksie’s wedding.”“‘Ruining’ is putting it lightly,” Amaryllis said. “We discovered that he intended to smuggle Snowlander weapons into Port Royal. He’s the same man who tried to assassinate the king of Sylphfree, who kidnapped a number of harpy nobles, and who has caused what is no doubt a great deal of trouble elsewhere that we haven’t been able to stop.”Cholondee’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve heard of him,” she said.“You... have?” I asked. No one we talked to had known about him before. He was always some shadowy do-badder causing trouble because no one knew about him.“Yes. He came to my mother some time ago. He asked her how much it would cost for her to do things for him. He offered heaps of gold and a hoard of promises for her help.”“Her help doing what, exactly?” Amaryllis asked.Cholondee’s eyes glinted. “To unleash death and destruction across the world. I think he wanted her to torch the cervid capital, then crush the cities of the Harpy Mountains as well. He said that once everyone was cowed, she could rule over them herself as queen of everything.”A shiver ran down my spine. If Rainnewt was trying to recruit dragons into his schemes, then they were probably a lot more complicated than I’d envisioned.“Your mother refused?” Awen asked.Cholondee snorted. “Please. If my mom wanted to be queen of everything, she wouldn’t need some pesky little man to do anything for her. She’d just fly out and take over whatever she wants herself.”“Ah, yes, of course,” Amaryllis said. “This is clearly not just about the wedding then. It’s possible that he’s trying to get a bit of revenge on your mother for refusing to help him back then. Is she going to be in attendance?”“Of course. She’s Rhawrexdee’s mom too, you know. And also a dragon.” Cholondee rested back onto her heap of silverware and jewels. “But I don’t think we need to worry. Nothing can hurt my mother.”“It would still cause quite the scene,” I said.Cholondee nodded. “Are you suggesting a more proactive approach to dealing with this fool who isn’t a dragon?”“Uh, actually, yeah. That’s why we came. We talked to Mathilde already, the leader of the Exploration Guild. She agreed to get some more security at the wedding, and she’ll start looking for people that might be working with Rainnewt.”“That old guild? It’s nothing but ancient fossils that my mother hasn’t bothered blowing away.”“Well, they want to help, so I wouldn’t say no to that,” I said. “The sylph embassy is also going to help, probably! That’s two groups in Port Royal already. We thought that maybe you could help us too? You have people looking after Booksie already, right?”“Hmm, yes. I told some of my people that it would be bad if something happened to Booksie. I think they’re looking after her now. But this is more than just keeping idiots away.”“So you’ll help us?” I asked.Cholondee’s tail twitched. “If you pay me.”I blinked. “Huh?”“I accept gold. Only gold.”I looked at my friends, then back at the dragon. I thought she was onboard with helping us, but this seemed like a big reversal of that. “I... uh, guess we could?”Amaryllis huffed a ‘stop talking Broccoli’ kind of huff. “You know, this will hurt you, right?” Amaryllis asked.“How? I am a dragon.”“If Rainnewt is able to act in your city, through your underground, then doesn’t that challenge your authority? Besides, if you allow Rainnewt to do what he wants, then it’ll destabilise the balance of power. There’s a reason most nations try very hard to keep to the status quo with their policing forces. It makes things very predictable. Unpredictability is bad for the market.”Cholondee hummed. “I suppose. I’ll have to talk to my advisors about it. Maybe Booksie will want to come for tea tomorrow? We could talk about it then.”“Okay!” I said. I was sure we could convince Cholondee to help. She seemed like someone who would be a good friend, or at least a good neighbour. “So, lunch tomorrow?” That gave me a whole day to come up with convincing arguments!
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Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-One — The Crack of Dawn
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-One — The Crack of Dawn The next morning came quick!After chatting with Cholondee for a few hours, we had made our way back to the Beaver with a few stops along the way to order things Awen needed which she thought might take a while to get delivered.We arrived just before the Scallywags returned, all three of them loaded down with stuff. They'd bought new clothes and sundries and a few things they guessed might be useful on the Beaver.We had a big lunch together, then Steve and Gordon left just as it was getting dark. Even Clive went with them, saying that he'd keep an eye on the two while hopping over to an old sailor's pub he enjoyed.I ended up going to bed a bit early. I wanted to be up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and while I was really-really tempted to stay up super later just chatting, I felt like it was my job as captain to at least pretend to be responsible. Plus I was a bit tired.All that meant that I was the first up the next morning and was able to cook up breakfast for the whole crew.Surprisingly, Calamity stumbled into the dining room, looking bleary eyed, his cat ears down and his fur all matted on one side. "Urgh, ur, uh," he said."Good morning!" I replied.Calamity stared at me, rubbed his face, then blinked a few times. "Did you know that cats, I mean small ones, are crepuscular?""I don't know what that means," I admitted."It means they're most awake in the morning and evening. Dawn and dusk.""Oh," I said. "You don't seem super awake right now.""Nya don't say?" he grumped. "What's for breakfast?""Oatmeal! But I filled it with fruits! We have fresh berries, and something that looks like a banana, but I'm pretty sure it isn't. Cat people can eat fruit, yeah?""Sure. It's not a nice rare steak, but it won't kill me. Probably good to load up on something like oatmeal, I have a big day.""Mhm!" I said as I bobbed my head. I rubbed my hands on my apron. I think the scallywags had bought it, because it hadn't been in the kitchen before. It was a big apron with "Hug the Chef" written on the front, and I instantly loved it. "Here you go! First served, and you get extra fruit for being nice!"Calamity dug in while I got back to work. Soon enough Awen stumbled into the room, yawning big as she did. "Morning," she muttered before flopping into a seat. She was still in her PJs and didn't look all that ready for her adventure today.I tried to pep her up with a good breakfast though! We had oranges and so I squeezed a few into a big jar and served it to everyone. So much sweetness in the morning was probably not great, but my friends would need that little extra energy boost. "So, you're going to the Exploration Guild first thing?" I asked.Awen nodded. "That's where we'll be meeting the other new explorers," she said. "I hope we'll be good enough to pass."I snorted. "I passed and I only had one class and a few levels! Amaryllis wasn't too far ahead.""I was significantly ahead and remain so," Amaryllis said as she stepped into the dining room. "I had a full magical education behind me. I might not have had the skills to back it up, but it's still very valuable. Skills and numbers aren't everything.""Awa, that's not reassuring," Awen said.I shook my head. These two could be so silly sometimes. "You'll do great," I said."Yeah, I can't imagine us being that bad," Calamity said. "We'll stick together. If anything tries to eat us, I'll stick it full of arrows and ny'all stick it full of bolts. Easy.""Eat us?" Awen whispered. "Why do so many things want to eat us?"It wasn't long until Awen and Calamity's time to go was upon us. Amaryllis said something about going to buy stuff for tea that afternoon with Caprica, so I volunteered to walk Awen and Calamity over to the guild.I slurped down a bowlful of oatmeal myself, chugged a big cup of juice, then blasted the kitchen area with Cleaning magic so that the food wouldn't get stuck to the dishes too much. Then I was off and getting ready.Awen took a bit longer to get dressed and equipped than the rest of us, but when she met Calamity and I on the deck, she was ready for war. She had her big crossbow slung over her back, a smaller one by her hip, with her warhammer on her other hip. Her coat snapped in the wind, but it was held in place by the bandoleer of tools slung across her chest.She was one cool hat away from looking like a vampire hunter or something. "You look super ready!" I cheered."Ah! I don't feel like I am. Should I bring more? Maybe more rations?" She had a big backpack on, and it looked like she was carrying enough tools to rebuild the Beaver from scratch."Nyah, you're fine," Calamity dismissed. All he had was his bow, a little hunting knife, and his wits. He wasn't nearly as equipped as Awen, but I wasn't about to make a fuss about it."Maybe we can see once we get there?" I asked. "If the tools are too much, then I can bring them back, or we can leave them at the Guild, it shouldn't be a problem!"Awen agreed easily enough, so we set off to the Exploration Guild.Port Royal was still waking up as we made our way across the city. We'd made the trip over to the guild a couple of times already, so it wasn't all that hard to get across the city and to the Guild again.On arriving, we found a small group of people waiting in the lobby, as well as a more senior member of the guild, someone that I didn't recognize but who was taking up the role of teacher for the day's excursion.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.Awen looked over at the other prospective members nervously, but Calamity got one glance at them and scoffed. "See, nothing to worry about," he said.He... might have been right. The newcomers, mostly grenoil, didn't look like they were all that well equipped. They were almost all in mis-matched armour, if they had any armour at all. Some seemed entirely unequipped for adventuring, and others had old backpacks with this and that in them.They didn't look like seasoned explorers, and while I didn't want to start throwing Inspects around, I still had the impression that most of them were still at or below level ten. "I think you'll do fine," I told Awen.She nodded, and it looked like she was in a much better mood."Alright you lot," the exam's leader said. "Get on over here. We need to sign the last of you in, then we're taking off.""Good luck!" I told my friends, then it was time for good-luck hugs."Captain, I'm not going to be able to impress anyone if you keep clinging to me," Calamity said."Hugs are very impressive! I bet they'll be impressed by you having friends!" I said.Calamity mumbled something, but he did return the hug. Awen did too, and I gave her an extra squeeze, just to be sure."Remember to have fun!" I said.I waved as Awen and Calamity joined the group. Both of them looked back, with Awen giving a shy wave and Calamity, after a moment, offering a begrudging salute. The group moved as one, soon passing through the large double doors that lead deeper into the building.Taking a deep breath, I turned away from the guild. There were still a few hours before Amaryllis and Caprica would be back from their shopping spree. They were going to pick up meats and teas and pastries for the tea party with Cholondee that afternoon.It was still quite early, though, and for the first time in a little while, I didn't actually have anything specific planned.I grinned. That just meant that I could do an unplanned drop-in on a friend!I wanted to visit Julien, the old grenoil that ran the Rock Inn and Roll Inn, and I wanted to check out Booksie's bookstore.Actually, on thinking about it and the layout of Port Royal, it would be easier to see Booksie first. Plus I didn't know that she'd be home or have time for me, then I could stop by the inn on the way back before meeting my friends back at the Beaver in a few hours.I made my way through the cobbled streets of Port Royal with a light heart. The sun was slowly rising higher in the sky, and the warmth felt good on my skin. The morning crowds were out in force, with stall owners setting up their wares and shoppers already hunting for the best deals.As I walked, I found myself humming a tune, one that I'd heard somewhere, but couldn't quite place. It was upbeat and catchy, and I felt like dancing as I continued on my path.Before long, I arrived at Booksie's shop.It didn't look open. The lights inside were off, and the sign on the door was flipped to "Closed." But... well, Booksie, as nice and cool as she was, didn't strike me as an early riser. In fact, something told me she was the 'read until the sun comes up then panic' sort.I took a moment to glance around, searching for any movement within the store. But the windows, though slightly dusty, only revealed the dim silhouette of shelves packed with books and the occasional decorative ornament. It was eerily silent.Something felt wrong. It was a tingle in my tail and a shiver down my spine. Maybe it was just my friend-senses that were tingling? I wasn't sure what caused it, but I was starting to worry.I wasn't sure if it would be rude, but I decided to knock softly on the door, just in case she was inside and just forgot to turn on the lights. Rapping lightly on the wooden door, I waited. A few moments passed, and nothing.I chewed on my lower lip. It was probably nothing.But I still felt like something was off, so I circled around the building, shuffling through a nearby alleyway to get to Booksie's backyard. Or at least, the yard behind several of the shops on this street. It was a small space cleared out, with sheer mountainous walls behind it. It looked like there had been a few sheds and such here, for storage and such.Now those had been cleared and there was an impressive pile of pillows just sitting outside under a large pavilion tent. Was that where Rhawrexdee and Booksie read? It looked very cosy.I noticed something odd. The back door to Booksie's shop was ajar. The wood near the handle looked splintered, as if it had been forced open.Steeling myself, I carefully approached the door, listening intently for anything from within, but it was all quiet.I pushed the door open gently, taking care not to make any sudden movements or noises. The shop was dimly lit, with only the morning light filtering through the drawn curtains. At first glance, the store seemed like its usual self — shelves of books stacked neatly and the faint aroma of old paper in the air. But as my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I saw some unsettling differences.Books and papers were scattered all over the floor, as if someone had rummaged through them in haste. The counter, where Booksie usually sat reading or working on her ledger, was also in disarray. The cash register lay open, its contents spilling out."Booksie!" I called out. "Booksie!"My voice echoed in the silent store. There was no Booksie.Someone had kidnapped my friend.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Two — Fetching Help III: The Helpening
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Two — Fetching Help III: The Helpening My breathing sped up as I took in the bookshop. The broken glass, the piles of books rudely tossed aside, the distinct lack of Booksie.This wasn't good.We had to save Booksie!I had to find a friend to help me save her!Who did I go to first? There were my friends, but they were spread out. The Guild? Cholondee? We had a meeting with her later, for tea. Abraham? No, Rhawrexdee! Booksie was his fiancee... only I didn't know where to find him.I blinked and realized that there were a few tears clinging to the edges of my eyes. I wiped them away quickly, then took a deep breath in, then out. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. That was no good. There'd be no helping Booksie if I just stood here and panicked.I looked around the room again for clues or something but nothing obvious jumped out to me. Maybe it would be different for someone with the right skills, a Detective or something, which would mean actually finding someone to help.Nodding to myself, I darted back out of the shop through the back, then went around and returned to the street. Who did I get first? The obvious answer was the city guard, but I was worried they might pin me down with questions and stuff.Which left... I worried at my lower lip while I thought. Finally, I decided that my best bet might still be the guard, even if they asked a lot of questions.I looked both ways, searching for a convenient patrol of Port Royal's Finest. There wasn't any. What there was, however, was a duo of grenoils in ill-fitting suits smoking by the corner. They had the look of ne'er-do-wells that weren't in their own sort of neighbourhood.Which might be exactly what I needed.I bounced over to the pair, making them jump as I landed right next to them. "Do you work for Cholondee," I said. Then I blinked, a little sheepish. "Sorry, I mean, hi, my name is Broccoli, how are you doing? Do you work for Cholondee?"The two looked between each other before one of them spoke up. "Who's askin'?" he asked."My name's Broccoli. Broccoli Bunch. Captain of the Beaver Cleaver. I'm a friend of Cholondee's. I'm having tea with her later. Do you work for her?""Might be zat we do," the other grenoil said."Perfect!" I cheered. "Are you here to keep an eye on Booksie?""Just ze shop," the first said. He shrugged as his pal smacked him in the arm. "Ain't nothing illegal about keeping an eye out for trouble," he defended.I nodded along. "Right, okay. So... someone broke into the shop from behind. I think Booksie was kidnapped."The two stared. "You serious?" the second asked."I wouldn't lie about that!" I said, maybe a little louder than was polite. "I think we should tell the guard. I'm... I'm going to run to tell my friends and Cholondee, maybe Rhawrexdee. We need to find her. The faster we move the better, I think.""Right... don't zink calling in the guard's ze right move," the first grenoil said."The boss is gonna kill us, ain't she?" the second asked.I shook my head. "Maybe it happened before you arrived? I had to go in through the back. Whoever did this was sneaky about it. It would have been nice to notice, but it's too late now. Please, can you help?"Both grenoil nodded. "I'll go get some of ze boys," the first said. "We can block off the area, start looking about.""I'll go tell the higher ups. Can't blame us if we weren't here yet, and zere might be a good word for ze both of us if we're quick about it.""Great! I'll... go find my friends, I guess. They might have an idea of what to do."The two grenoil didn't stick around for long, both of them hopped off, darting away in two different directions, though one of them did go check in on Booksie's shop. I guess he was worried I might have been trying to trick him or something.I didn't have time to linger, I had to go.My heart pumped with adrenaline and more as I raced through Port Royal. I had a vague idea of where Amaryllis and Caprica were, so when I came to the turn at the end of the street I took a hard left and kept bouncing down the road.Someone shouted a loud 'whoa!' as I bounced past, and I called out a quick 'sorry!' over my shoulder, but I didn't have time to move at anything like a polite speed. Soon enough, I was in the part of Port Royal where I knew my friends would be.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.The market was bustling with people, a chaotic mass of merchants, sailours, and cityfolk all conducting their business. My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for familiar faces. They were supposed to be buying stuff for our tea party with Cholondee that afternoon.I pushed through, muttering hurried apologies as I bumped shoulders and stepped on toes, my eyes continuously roving. The first two butcher shops I found were a bust, as was the first pastry shop.Then I spotted the two, both leaving a bakery with big, heavy bags by their sides."Amaryllis! Caprica!" I shouted, trying to elevate my voice above the market's lively clamour. They turned, their faces marked with surprise as they saw me racing towards them. I probably looked as breathless and frazzled as I felt."Broccoli?" Amaryllis asked. "What happened?""There's no time to explain everything," I panted, "Booksie's shop...it's been ransacked, and Booksie... I think she's been kidnapped!"Amaryllis blinked, taking that in for a few seconds while Caprica gasped. "This is going to be a problem," she said."I know! We have to save her.""Who have you told?" she asked."Some people from Cholondee's gang. That's all. They went to tell her and some others in the gang.""That's a start," Amaryllis said. "Caprica, do we consolidate or reach out?"I blinked. What did she mean?"Consolidate, especially if we expect this to be hard. Broccoli, was the hit professional?" Caprica asked."I don't know? What would a professional kidnapping look like?""I'd think the difference would be obvious. Were there any packages left behind with a message? You mentioned the shop being ransacked, was it done in a fight or was it just down when breaking in? Was there any magic lingering in the air?""Uh, I don't know," I said. I felt a little small. "I don't know. I just went around the back when Booksie didn't come to the front door. It was broken in, and I went in, and she was gone."Amaryllis stepped up in front of me, brows together. "Broccoli?""Yeah?""I'm going to hug you now.""Okay," I agreed.She opened her arms, and I fell into the embrace. Her wings wrapped tight-tight around me, and I let my head fall into the nook of her neck. It was like a warm cocoon, even in the middle of the busy city."You smell nice," I said. She smelled like bakery, which was objectively one of the best smells."Don't ruin the moment, Broccoli," Amaryllis said.I laughed a bit, and Amaryllis let go of me. I instantly missed the warmth, but we did have things to do. I could only imagine how many hugs Booksie probably wished she had right now. "Okay. Okay, so... what do we do now?""Caprica, does the embassy have anyone with very high level inspection skills?" Amaryllis asked."We should, yes," Caprica said."We might need them. Cholondee's going to need to be convinced not to explode. And we need to warn the Exploration Guild.""The Guild?" I asked.Amaryllis nodded. "They'll have all of the best trackers in the city," Amaryllis explained."That's three places to go to," I said."I can head to the embassy right now," Caprica said, her fairy-like wings snapping out. "Then to the Exploration Guild? I can start convincing them, or just hire them, if needs must. I believe Mister Bristlecone, at least, would take me at my word."I didn't like splitting up again, not after what had happened to Booksie. But it was probably the right thing to do. "Then Amaryllis and I will go see Cholondee?""I'll send anyone from the embassy to Booksie's shop. They'll be told to look out for either of you for more instructions.""It's a plan," Amaryllis said. "Alright. Let's move. These eggs won't hatch themselves.""That's a new one," I muttered, but then Amaryllis gave me her bags, took Caprica's and started through the market. I said quick goodbyes-with an awkward hug-to Caprica, then ran off after Amaryllis."You do the talking," Amaryllis said. "I feel like that'll give us the best odds of not ending up as dragon-chow."
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Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Three — Never Steal from a Dragon's Hoard
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Three — Never Steal from a Dragon's Hoard Cholondee was expecting us, I think. When we arrived in the rougher parts of town, and especially close to Cholondee's place, we found a bunch of grenoil hurriedly cleaning the buildings and streets.There was a serious and concentrated effort going on to sweep away dust and polish things up. To my eye, as a professional cleaner, their efforts wouldn't be enough to make the city like-new. This part of the city was rough-rough, and it needed more than a bit of cleaning to shine, but it was certainly helping.I kinda liked seeing it, actually. It was proof that Cholondee was actually trying to fix things up. If she really wanted to improve things, then diverting some funds towards renovations and maintenance would really improve the area by leaps and bounds.That would be nice. Cholondee being a good influence on Port Royal would be a positive development. The city was already a nice place, but it wasn't a perfect place for everyone. With some effort, that could maybe change.Or maybe the entire place would be burned down by an angry Rhawrexdee in a few hours? That was also entirely possible."What are you sighing about?" Amayllis asked."I'm worried that Rhawrexdee's going to be... very angry. I mean, he'd be right to be angry, but I'm worried that he'll burn the entire city down. Just breathe down fire on the whole thing. It's kind of apocalyptic, isn't it?"Amaryllis shook her head. "Don't be silly, Broccoli," she said.I perked up. "Oh?" I asked. Amaryllis was good at comforting sometimes, in her own rational way."Rhawrexdee is a blue dragon. He doesn't breathe fire. He'd rain down thunder and lightning and massive bolts of electric plasma. Though, I suppose that would eventually light the city on fire.""Oh," I said. That wasn't exactly the kind of comforting thing I was looking for.Amaryllis chuckled and bumped a shoulder against mine. "Don't worry yourself this much. You'll get ulcers. If buns can get ulcers.""I think we can," I said. "We have human-ish stomachs, right?" I glanced down at my chest and wondered. I'd gained ears and a tail. Did I gain anything else? Did buns have organs like appendixes? Were my insides as changed as my outsides? "Has someone invented X-rays yet?""What?" Amaryllis asked."Ah, nevermind."We'd made it to Chlondee's place in any case. The dragon herself was actually standing up on her hind legs in her yard, pointing some of her minions along with a large stick. They were carrying a big table which they set down, then Cholondee had them lift it up and move it a few steps to the right. Then back again.There were chairs too, and a basket full of supplies nearby that looked like stuff for a small party, tablecloths and cutlery. "Oh, she's taking tea time very seriously," I said."Let's hope we don't ruin her mood too much, then," Amaryllis muttered.I nodded along. The guards at the front of the compound saw us coming, but let us through without a fuss, which is about when Cholondee noticed us.The dragon's eyes narrowed, and she twisted her head up to track the sun. "Watch! What time is it?"One of the grenoil jumped, then fumbled out a pocket watch. "Twenty minutes to eleven, oh great punctual one!" he said."I am punctual," Cholondee agreed. "And also a dragon. Broccoli, Amaryllis, you're not punctual. Or dragons.""Hi!" I said. I tried to sound chipper, but my worries were weighing me down a little. "We're early because there's trouble. Big trouble.""You aren't cancelling, are you?" Cholondee asked. "I just bought this table and it cost me several gold pieces from my horde." She gestured a claw at the table, which was actually quite nice. All lacquered wood with a little pattern carved into the sides. The legs looked a bit dragon-y too."We're not," I said. "But we thought you should know. I went to Booksie's this morning. Someone broke into her shop.""A thief?" Cholondee asked. She spun her head around to look at the grenoil gangsters. "Who robbed Booksie? Didn't I tell you what would happen if you did that? I'd give you to my brother as a snack.""I don't think it was one of your people," I said quickly. There were two of your people there, guarding the front of the shop. They were doing their job. And I don't know if someone stole anything."Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original."Make more sense, then," Cholondee said. "Did someone rob from Booksie or not?"I shook my head. "I think someone robbed Booksie. She's missing. The door was broken, and sh-" I was cut off by a loud slam and cracking noise that made me jump.Cholondee's claw was through the table, and she was glaring hard at me. "Someone stole Booksie?""Maybe?" I said. "It looks that way."Chlondee looked down at the table, then glared at that too. "Someone bring this back. It's defective," she said. "Let them know that I'm a repeat customer, and also a dragon, and that I want a refund or a better table."I felt really bad for whichever poor carpenter had made the table."You haven't told my brother yet," Cholondee said. It wasn't a question. "That's smart. He would be very angry.""Yeah," I said. "We were worried about that. But I think he also deserves to know, even if it might be, ah, a little dangerous?"Cholondee hummed. "Yes. I'll tell him. I suppose this means tea is cancelled.""Not cancelled," I said, "Just postponed! We'll have tea, and bring Booksie with us too, once we find her! We just need to find her first."Cholondee whipped her head around to the nearest group of grenoil gangsters. "Search the city," she growled. "Every alley and every shop. Ask everyone if they've seen Booksie. I want every living soul in Port Royal to know that she's missing, and the consequences if she isn't found."The grenoil snapped to attention, then darted out to do as Cholondee asked."Our friend, Caprica, is asking the sylph embassy already," I said. "We should have their help soon. And I think we should ask the Exploration Guild too.""We're going to need to organise," Amaryllis said. "If this becomes a properly large search, we need to centralise our efforts to find her. Just sending people all over without a clue is only going to cause more chaos. If we organise, then we'll also have a lot more pull. We'll be able to close the city's gates and have everything that leaves the city inspected before it leaves.""Are you volunteering?" Cholondee asked.Amaryllis stood a little taller. "I suppose I am. You could find worse than me. I have some experience with organisational roles, and I'm familiar with your group, the sylph, and the Exploration Guild. Not to mention... Booksie's a friend."Cholondee nodded. "Very well then. I am not suited to paperwork, because I am a dragon. You do that part. Broccoli, have you told the Exploration Guild about Booksie yet? Can they help?""I think they can. There's a lot of people really good at finding stuff there. I'm sure they won't mind helping us find Booksie!"Cholondee nodded. "Go then. I'm going to go tell my brother. You lot, listen to Amaryllis. We will have tea later."Cholondee's wings rose, then came down with a hard beat that almost flung me off my feet. In moments, she was rising above us, wheeling around towards the upper parts of the mountain."Well, at least she's taking this seriously," Amaryllis said as she patted herself down. "Are you heading to the guild right away?""I guess I should," I said. I moved over to Amaryllis and gave her a quick hug. "Don't let all the power go to your head. I'll see you later!"Amaryllis snorted, then pushed me off. "Go! The quicker we move, the quicker we save Booksie."I nodded, then bounded out the front gate. The urgency of everything was pushing me to move faster and faster, until I bounced up and onto a rooftop. It was probably not legal to travel by roof-hopping, but it was much faster, and at the moment, speed trumped legality.The wind whooshed past my ears as I leapt from one rooftop to another, the rough tiles flashing beneath me, every footfall launching me forward with a pulse of spent stamina. The city's unique smell, of fresh mountain air and fresher sewage, filled my senses as I made my way towards the Exploration Guild.Once I was closer to Guild Row, I dropped down onto the street, then took off running on the sidewalk, charging towards the guild.I burst through the doors, making a few members jump, and it took me a moment to collect enough air to apologise."H-hi," I said to the receptionist. "I need... Mathilde... now.""She's in a meeting," the receptionist said. She was looking me up and down, and I imagined that I was a little dishevelled.I shook my head. "Doesn't matter. Emergency." I took a deep breath. "If we don't do something now, the city will be in big, big trouble!"
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Four — Recall
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Four — Recall "Did you ever hear the story of the tadpole that called snake?" Mathilde asked as I stumbled into her big office. It was the nicer one on the ground floor of the Guild, and its use as a more impressive showroom showed. The furniture was richer, and the room much larger, with expansive plush seats facing a huge desk that was completely clear except for a tidy pile of papers on Mathilde's left."Um," I said. "I haven't, no," I admitted. "Is it anything like the boy who cried wolf?""Is the story about someone young and foolish who calls for help, only for it to be unneeded, and so they erode the trust of their elders?" Mathilde asked."Yup, that sounds about right.""Then yes, I suppose the stories are similar, if only in the lesson they try to teach. In any case, I don't drop everything for emergencies on a whim. At the moment, you're the tadpole calling snake, so to speak."I supposed that made sense. "Alright. Booksie was kidnapped, Cholondee and the sylph and the gangs of Port Royal know, and soon Rhawrexdee will know too, and we're mostly hoping that he doesn't, ah, thunderbolt the entire city."Mathilde blinked her big froggy eyes. "That does count as an emergency, yes," she said."Oh, good. I was hoping it would be enough," I said. "I wouldn't want to have a bad reputation.""Has the city guard been informed? An evacuation might be in order.""No, not yet. I think Cholondee plans on telling her brother in a, ah, calm way, maybe? So that he doesn't explode the city. I was hoping that the Exploration Guild could help us find Booksie. Chlondee's gangsters and the sylph embassy should be searching already."Mathilde tapped her fingers on her desk in a quick rhythm. "So, maybe we won't need to evacuate.""It would be nice if we could close down all the exits to the city," I said. "To make sure that the people that kidnapped Booksie don't get away with her.""A valid idea," Mathilde said. "It'll cost just about every last political favour I have to convince the guard to close down the exits, even temporarily.""I don't know if political favours will matter all that much if Rhawrexdee goes all dragon on the entire city," I pointed out."And if we happen to save the bride-to-be then the shared back-patting will more than recoup any losses," Mathilde said. "We'll have to lock down the port as well, check every ship that departed recently, and verify if anyone used the teleportation system at the Mages Guild. Very well, I'll start sending messages out. I imagine you wanted some assistance with the search as well?""That would be very nice," I said with a quick bob of the head. "I bet the guild has a lot of good searchers.""We do. But our best isn't here." Mathilde eyed me in a way that had my spine straightening. "What are you going to do now?""Now? Um. return to my friends, I guess? Maybe to the Beaver to tell the others there.""No," Mathilde said."No?""No. Instead, I want you fetching some assistance from outside of the city. The grenoil shepherding the latest batch of prospective members is one of my best trackers. With the speed in which things are developing, it might be worth it to cancel the training mission and get them back as soon as possible.""That's the group that left with Awen and Calamity?" I asked.She nodded. "Exactly them, yes. They left some... three hours ago? I imagine they're at their destination by now.""I can catch up," I said confidently. After all, they were moving as a big group. I'd be free to run after them. I was pretty sure that I could sprint fast enough to catch a group that was probably either walking or travelling by cart.Mathilde opened a drawer on her desk, then plucked a pen from a small holder. She wrote something quickly onto a fresh page, then pulled out a form that she filled with an expert flourish, as if she'd done it a million times."This is your guild quest," she said, handing me the form. I scanned it, and it basically said that I was charged with catching up to a grenoil called Sir jean-Pierre Tissue and relay his new orders: drop everything and immediately begin searching for Booksie. The team of new explorers were to be conscripted as his assistants. "And this is what you'll need to catch up," Mathilde added as she gave me another paper.It was a writ from the guild, saying that Mathild herself would cover the costs of one teleportation on her own tab. The back of the paper was a letter to someone called Mage Procko. It outlined what I'd told Mathilde, but in a sort of semi-officious tone. Mathilde Mariejoy was scrawled at the bottom of the better in barely legible cursive.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences."Teleportation?" I asked."The exploration team was sent down the mountain to a small outpost. Their actual mission for the day is to explore a well-known and relatively safe dungeon that's been acting up. The dungeon and outpost aren't too far. Three days by cart, maybe half a day's distance for anyone with the right traversal skills, but it was still too far for a day trip, and there's a teleportation system in place to the outpost already.""Oh," I said. I nodded. So Awen and Calamity got teleported along with the rest of the new recruits. That was... actually, a really cool way for the guild to show off, which was probably also part of the deal. "Will the mage be able to bring me close?""Very," she said. "He can be trusted. We're old drinking buddies.""I don't have all of my exploration gear," I said."Then consider it a test of how you handle yourself without," Mathilde said. "Time is pressing.""Right!" I agreed. "Right-right! I'm off then. Thanks Mathilde!""That's Guild Master Mariejoy to you," she said as I darted out of the room. I was sure she'd get things moving while I wasn't here. My job was to get that tracker back. I was actually pretty happy to have it, because sitting around not doing anything while I worried over Booksie would have driven me spare.The Mage's Guild building was just down Guild row.The stone structure was covered in arcane symbols and the doorway was framed by two glowing orbs that glowed a soft blue light. I rushed towards the entrance, past mages of various ages and normal people going about their business.I'd been here once before, but it was a long, long time ago, and I'd mostly forgotten how colossal and magical the guild's interior was. "Can I help you?" a young grenoil mage with silver spectacles that seemed a tad too large for his face inquired from behind a polished counter."I'm here to see Mage Procko," I replied, handing over the writ from Mathilde. "Guild Master Mariejoy sent me. It's kinda urgent"The young mage's eyes widened slightly as he read the writ, then he gave a curt nod. "Follow me," he murmured, leading me through a maze of narrow corridors. The walls were lined with bookshelves, filled with ancient tomes and scrolls. Every so often, I'd catch a glimpse of a room where mages were deep in study or practice. This felt like the kind of place that Amaryllis would adore.We stopped before a door covered in arcane symbols. "Mage Procko should be inside," the young mage said before knocking softly.The door swung open all on its own, and I found a large room with desks and bookshelves along the edges, but nothing but a raised dais in the centre. It was a big stone step, and someone had carefully carved some markings onto its surface."Yes?" an older man asked. Another grenoil, this one looking quite a bit wrinklier than the young mage helping me, with robes that had probably been very stately once but which had clearly been on the receiving end of a few too many magical accidents."Hi!" I said. "My name's Broccoli Bunch, I'm from the Exploration Guild. I have this for you, from the Guild Master." I handed the same writ over.Mage Procko took the writ, his eyes scanning over the contents briefly. "Ah, I see. An urgent matter zen," he remarked, his voice carrying a deep timbre, like a cello playing a low note."Very urgent, sir," I replied while shifting from one foot to the other. I wanted to shake him and maybe panic a little, but that would have been rude.He looked me up and down, his gaze sharp and assessing. "You're not equipped as I'd expect an explorer to be. Especially for such a vital task."I shrugged, feeling a bit self-conscious. "It's an emergency, I didn't have time to gear up. Mathilde said it would be a test of how I handle myself without all my gear."He hummed thoughtfully. "Very well. I admire your courage. Ze teleportation circle on zis dais will take you directly to Rockstack. Zey only left a few hours ago.I nodded, eager to get going. "Thank you, Mage Procko."He waved a hand, dismissing my gratitude. "It's ze least I can do. Besides," he added with a sly grin, "Mathilde and I go way back. I owe her a few favours."I stepped onto the dias, then blinked. "Wait, did you say Rockstack?"But it was too late, because I was being gripped around the middle by a powerful surge of magic and flung through nothing at all.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Five — Find One to Find Another
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Five — Find One to Find Another One moment I was in the Mage's Guild, the next, I was elsewhere.Which is about how teleportation was supposed to work, but I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be so gut-wrenchingly unpleasant. I landed and felt as if the world had turned about ten degrees to one side and a little bit back. So not only did I have to deal with this super strong sense of magic magic magic all around me, I had to deal with a sudden wave of vertigo.I stumbled to the side for a couple of steps before catching myself and standing still while the world spun around me."Huh," someone said, but I really didn't feel like losing my lunch on their shoes-which would have been impolite-so I kept my eyes closed while my inner-ears settled."Okay," I said after a while. Blinking, I took in the space around me. It was... a rather mundane building, with walls made of hewn logs stacked up atop each other with a bit of mortar between each. A little painting of some nice hilly mountains hung on one wall, and a spartan wrought-iron chandelier was hanging from the ceiling.Even the magical rune-covered circle on the ground wasn't anything too special. It was made of iron bands, carefully welded together and inlaid with sturdy wood. This was a far-cry from the fanciness of the Mage's Guild.There was a grenoil standing to one side. The other side of the room had a little office space with a few desks and assorted books on shelves. A very cozy little workspace for this grenoil dressed in a button-up shirt and slacks, but who had his shirt untucked and his topmost buttons undone."Hi," I said."Hello," he replied. "The Guild wasn't supposed to transfer anyone else until this evening," he said as he checked on a loose pile of papers."Oh. I came here after spending a favour with Mage Procko," I said. "I'm from the Exploration Guild." I tugged the pin stuck through my bandoleer so that he could see it better. "I'm actually here to find the previous team that passed through?"He nodded along. "That makes sense, I suppose. In any case, they came through a few hours ago?""Right... we are in Rockstack, right?""Yes?""The little outpost in the Dark Forest? Not too far from Port Royal?"He nodded slowly."Huh," I said. "Well, alright then. Did you see a bun go by, by any chance?""A bun? Like you?" He pointed up and down at me. I nodded along. It was interesting how grenoil pointed at all of someone while more human-ish people mostly just pointed at the ears. I supposed that it did make some sense. "Nope. Haven't seen anyone like that.""Alright. Thank you! Do you know which direction the other Exploration team was going in?""Shouldn't you know that?" he asked.I puffed my cheeks out, but he wasn't wrong. "Well, guess I'll have to find them. Thank you! We might be teleporting back a little early, if everything goes well and I find everyone.""I'll keep that in mind, ma'am."With a last friendly nod to the nice grenoil. I slipped out of the office and right out of the building. As it turned out, this... branch of the Mage's Guild? I turned to stare at the building. It did have a Mage's Guild icon on the front, but almost looked like a medium-sized wooden home from the outside. Something built quickly.It fit in with the rest, at least.I spun around, taking in Rockstack outpost with a sweep. There were a few dozen similar buildings, all placed in neat rows, with a few more going up slowly at the end of the row. To me, the grenoil workers seemed to be taking their time, but maybe they just weren't in any rush.The rest of Rockstack was eerily familiar, and yet not. There was still a large stack of stones in the centralsquare just past the gate into the outpost. The inn was off to one side, looking like it had grown a little, and there was a general store and a government office plopped down on the far end of the square.The walls of the outpost looked like they had been pushed back, and recently, clearing out a larger space for Rockstack to maybe go from just a pitstop and outpost to a proper frontier town.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.I bounced my way over to the gate. I wanted to stop by the inn, because I could remember the innkeep here being nice to me, but my mission was pretty urgent, and chances were the gate guards would have seen the group leaving first."Hello!" I said as I came up behind a pair of grenoil guards.They turned, looking at me casually. "Yeah?" one of them asked."Have you seen a group from the Exploration Guild leaving recently?" I asked."Exploration Guild?" The guard tilted his head, eyes narrowing in thought."Yeah, a handful of zem came zrough earlier. Looked like zey were headed towards ze Freud-Slip Dungeon," the first guard answered while scratching his cheek."Did you see which direction they went?" I asked.The guard pointed down the road. "Zat way, down za road. Zen right. You can't really miss it. Zere's not really a road to ze dungeon, but after a few dozen delvers went zere every day, ze path is hard to miss."I looked down the road. There was a carriage way off in the distance, kicking up a trail of dust behind it, but that was all. "Are there delvers there now?""Nope. Dungeon's closed," the guard said. "You haven't heard?""I just arrived," I said. "Why did it close?" something leaden settled in my tummy."Something big went down. We had a bunch more delvers for a while, and zey were real excited about whatever it was. Zen ze dungeon got hard. Delvers don't do changes so good, and a few of zem died down zere.""I zink zat's why the Exploration Guild was called in," the second guard said.My heart sank. A sudden change in dungeon behavior, leading to erratic violence. That ... sounded a lot like Evil Roots. I do not have time for this! "Yeah, I guess so," I said, trying to maintain my cool. "Well, I'll be back. Thanks for the help!"I gave them a wave before I started down the road at a quick jog. I didn't want to arrive tired, so sprinting was out of the question, but I was sure I was moving faster than a whole gaggle of Explorers would have. If the dungeon was far enough, then I'd catch up to them eventually.The team had a few hour's head start, but I was sure they'd have wasted some time in Rockstack before heading out.I kind of wished I had time to waste in town too. I had a lot of questions to ask and things I wanted to know. Maybe I could have found a chatty delver who could confirm things for me? But I didn't have time for that.The road was currently unpaved, but it was still flat and even. Earth had been mounded up into an embankment, with a layer of logs laid over the top, then those had been covered in a layer of gravel that seemed resistant to the usual ruts and bumps of a road. I wondered if it would be paved all the way to Port Royal, or at least the smaller towns at the base of the mountain the city was on.In any case, the road made it easy to hurry along, and with so many trees needing to be cut down, the space around the road was clear of brush, so the Dark Forest didn't encroach upon the road at all.It took me a good half hour or so of constant jogging to find the side-path the guard had mentioned. Fortunately, it was hard to miss.There was a small temporary bridge over the ditch alongside the road with a path stomped into the ground beyond that. It led right up into the forest, with some planks laid out on the ground where it became too swampy and muddy.I slowed down as I started across that path. There were some bootprints on the ground here, easy to make out in the mud. They were all heading in the same direction, away from the road, and they looked pretty recent. I didn't have much experience tracking or whatever, but that much was easy enough to tell.The path went on for a while. There was a hill not too far in, and atop it were some small temporary buildings made of local wood and a few abandoned pavilion tents that were falling apart with no one to care for them.The rest of the path continued on into the swamps where hungry clouds of mosquitoes were waiting to nibble at me.I wondered if Cleaning magic would keep me unbit...
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Six — Psychoanalysis
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Six — Psychoanalysis My Cleaning magic did not help with mosquitoes.It might have helped with the bites, because if I remembered from school correctly, mosquito bites were itchy because they spat something into you when they poked through your skin, and I was pretty sure my Cleaning magic could clean that away, but that still only worked if I was bit.I whipped up some little fireballs, keeping a grip on them with tethers of mana, and set them to orbit around me. They provided a bit of light, and did seem to ward away some of the bugs, but I was pretty sure I'd be finding bites here and there anyway.It was one of the only disadvantages to wearing skirts instead of pants, really. I'd be finding bites on the back of my legs, I was sure of it.The area around here was swampy. Full on swampy too, with the only path towards the dungeon being made of wooden planks bridged from pylon to pylon a few centimetres over the muddy ground. Droopy branches hung from the trees and gnarled roots poked out of the stagnant water all over the place.Without the plank-path, navigating around here would have been a nightmare. As it was, the path looked like it was well-worn and maybe in need of a bit of maintenance. Some parts had sunk into the mud a little, so I hopped over those to keep my shoes mud-free as long as possible.Sure, I had Cleaning magic for that, but it wouldn't stop me from getting wet socks, and wet socks was one of the worst feelings.Fortunately, it didn't take all that long to hurry from the abandoned delver camp to the dungeon itself.The entrance sat on a grassy hill that crested out of the swamp and which was surrounded by trees and bushes. If it wasn't for someone having cleared out the space before the dungeon's entrance and the path leading to it, I don't think I would have noticed it at all.Half-buried into the hillside was the edifice of a strong building — the dungeon's front door, so to speak. It was made of pure white stone, completely spotless even where the foundation rose from the muck. Atop the foundation, carved pillars held up an arched lintel, framing a lightless tunnel.The tunnel was clearly unnatural, extending deeper and deeper into the distance, far beyond the physical dimensions of the hill.I paused before it and checked the ground. There were more prints in the mud. Boots and webbed feet and it looked like maybe something had been dragged across the ground too. It was hard to tell, though it didn't look old.I kept my fireballs spinning as I ducked into the dungeon. They gave me a bit of much-needed light because it was uncomfortably dark in there. Dark and damp.A prompt appeared before me, provided by Mister Menu about the dungeon.You are Entering the Freud-Slip DungeonLevels 6-8Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?Current Instances: OneJoin Existing Instance?"I'd like that, yes please," I said to Mister Menu before he disappeared with a soap-bubble pop.Dungeon left UnsealedInstance JoinedI stepped fully into the dungeon, then with a small magical tug, pulled the fireballs up a little to provide a bit more light.The corridor went on for a while, then stopped at a set of steps leading down. There was a weird, fishy smell down there. I raised my little spinning fireballs higher, then started down the steps, going much slower and being more careful than I had been moving before.There could be traps down here. In fact, it would be a little weird if there weren't traps down here. That was kind of what dungeons were known for.I bit my lower lip.I missed my friends. Normally, we all watched each other's backs, so traps weren't so scary. If one of us missed one, the others wouldn't.Now, there was only me.I hadn't been completely alone in a dungeon since... well, since the beginning.My hands shook for a second. Around me, my firelights wobbled, almost guttering out.We... we were all stretched out now. All spread out. Amaryllis trying to wrangle a mob into shape, Caprica mobilising the sylph response, Clive and the rest of the crew back on the Beaver, Awen and Calamity somewhere in this dungeon with Sir Tissue, Cholondee trying to talk down her brother, and Booksie-She was probably alone too. Maybe not literally, but I bet her captors were just as hostile as a root-infested dungeon.I took a deep breath. My little fireballs burned brighter.Even if I'm alone, my friends aren't gone. They're still out there, doing the best they can.So, for their sake, I would do my best too.I could do this. This wasn't my first dungeon.Quickly, but without rushing, I advanced down the tunnel.The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.The steps went on for a little while, then stopped on a platform. It was a stone square within a large room. Or... I had assumed it was a room while walking down the steps because I was in a dungeon, but now that I was there, I wasn't so sure. There was no visible ceiling above, just a bank of thick fog that I couldn't penetrate.The space stretched out to the sides, old, bent trees and thick, scraggly bushes. It was another swamp down here.A path pushed through the swamp ahead, marked out by large flat-topped stones that stuck out of the muddy waters and led into the fog.I tensed as I looked around. There was something wrong about this area, though I couldn't quite pin what.Then it struck me. It wasn't that something was wrong, it was that something was missing. There wasn't the croak of frogs, the buzz of bugs, or anything alive. The swamp down here was almost entirely quiet if it wasn't for the sighing wind and the gurgle of water.Since it's a dungeon, maybe it made sense that the place was empty of real wildlife.There were probably monsters, though, and I needed to be careful. "It can't be that bad, if the others have already cleared this part of the dungeon," I said.Then I was hit by a faint, distant echo of my own voice. "Others gone through me.."I paused two steps in, ears swivelling. Was that an echo? "Hello?" I called."Hello..."Again, my voice from deeper in the dungeon, with a delay just short enough that it could have been a natural echo. I was thinking it wasn't, though.I was already creeped out, but that only added to the feeling.There wasn't really a choice but to go further in, though. I kept one fireball over my shoulder, and the other a little lower, giving me as much light as possible."Are you a nice, friendly monster?" I asked."Friendly monster...""I, uh, don't know if that was a reply, an answer, or just you repeating yourself.""Repeating yourself..."Yup, that was definitely something weird.I kept walking, hopping from stone to stone, my hands held ready and a spell half-formed. I really missed having something to serve as a weapon. My scythe would have been nice, or my old spade. I'd settle for a thick branch, or a folding chair.But, no. All I had was magic.That wasn't to say I was helpless. I'd just need to get creative with my spells and avoid any close-up fighting. Which is why I jumped up with a squeak as something ripped itself out of the water while screaming."Friendly monster!"It was a monster, about half my height, and shaped like a person, but with a frog-like head. Its skin was green, and its body was covered in muck and algae. Its eyes glinted an eerie blue in the light of my floating fireballs.It opened its mouth, showing off a maw filled with rows of sharklike teeth and screamed again.Then it jumped.I shrieked, leaping backwards, my feet slipping a little on the wet stone. My fireballs flew forward and smashed into the creature. It hissed, reeling back, then dove back into the murky water. I lost sight of it right away, probably because I'd just used up my only source of light.I created more fireballs in a hurry.The water gurgled, then went still.There was no sign of... whatever that had been. "Wow, you scared me," I said, a hand pressed over my heart as I created a fresh brace of fireballs."Scared you, scared you," echoed across the swamp.That had not been exactly what I said. This thing could understand, at least a little.I was about to say something else, but the water next to me exploded as another creature erupted up. I yelped and jumped to the side.I formed two more fireballs and sent them flying, this time at the monster's face. It crashed to the ground next to me, and I launched a hard kick right into its face. The monster reeled back, screeching loud and piercing. So while it wasn't attacking, I created a few more fireballs and launched them right at its exposed belly.The monster shook under the impacts, then slipped off the rock and into the water, a small trail of smoke following it.Ding! Congratulations, you have eliminated Mimicry Murlock, level 4!"Okay, this is going to be a pain," I said."Going to be a pain... going to be a pain..."I twisted, trying to spot where the voices had come from, but even with my ears fully extended, I couldn't spot the source of them. "Can you be nice?" I asked."Be nice, be nice.""Alright, you know what?" I asked the swamp. "I'm just going to ignore you.""Ignore you, ignore you.""Yeah, that," I agreed. The others clearly hadn't cleared out the room of these things, so I didn't see a reason why I should stand around and fight a whole room's worth of annoying monsters. So with a hop and a skip, I pushed ahead towards the far end of the room.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Seven — Id
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Seven — Id It wasn't easy to keep track of time in the dungeon, especially because the room I was in never seemed to end.And the monsters didn't either.Every now and then, one would leap at me. Sometimes it would come from the left, sometimes it would try to surprise me from the right, and every now and then one would jump at me from behind, but no matter where they came from, I had a way of dealing with them.Fireball to the face and kick to the butt.It worked for me, I think. Way of the Mystic Bun meant that my kicks were pretty powerful, after all. And I was racking up a fair bit of experience too. Of course, it wasn't all fun and games. The Mimicry Murlocks were starting to grow more annoying the deeper I went. They stopped copying what I said and started making noises that were a little strange.Lots of wet plapping noises, and weird moans that made my hair stand on end. One moment I would hear someone rushing at me from one side, only to find no one there-while another was sneaking up in my blindspot.Fortunately, there weren't that many of them down here. Or at least, there were way fewer than there should have been.I knew, because I soon found the trail of the Exploration Guild team that had come down before me. A bunch of footsteps, all more or less grouped up in single file. Lots of scuffs and steps to the side printed into the mud, along with a number of smaller, murlock-ian footprints.The group had cut through the swamp and through the murlocks inhabiting it. I was glad, and not only because the path was easier to follow, but also because it showed that the others were at least able to take care of themselves.And I had a better idea of what they were doing, too. The Exploration Guild wasn't going through the dungeon the way most delvers did, with a group of a dozen or so people working together and pushing through each area and fighting the monsters.No, the Guild had a small group going through first, and then sending word back to a larger party that was following after.At least, that's what I assumed from the footprints they'd left behind. Was the leader of the group testing its members? Awen and Calamity were with them, so they'd be able to fight from range. What about the others?In the end, the Exploration Guild group was meant to be testing their potential new members, so it made sense to throw them into a situation where they were a little disadvantaged, if only to see how well they could deal with it.They were probably fine.The strange bushes and trees began to open up into something like a clearing.Through the now-thinning fog, a wall appeared up ahead, and the ground became less swampy and more muddy.I hopped off the last stone, landing with a squelch on a patch of semisolid mud. I was at the very back end of the room, or at least, what had to be the back end. There was a tunnel up ahead, cut into the wall.Was this it for the first floor?"That was pretty easy," I said."Easy, easy," the swamp repeated.I snorted and waved the swamp off. The murlocks hadn't really been hard to deal with, just a little annoying, and the swamp itself had been a little spooky, but nothing too bad."Right, on I go!" I said. I was just a pinch concerned about how easy it was to start talking to myself again. I had only been without friends around me for... what, a few hours?I couldn't possibly be suffering from withdrawal already, could I?The tunnel led away from the swamp, and soon enough, the smell of the water and the sounds of the swamp were gone, replaced with the musty smell of earth and pine. The walls here were rough, like they'd been carved out by hand, and the tunnel was tight, barely wide enough for me to fit into without bumping my shoulders on the walls.It went on and on, winding down and down and down, until it opened up onto a large chamber. A chamber filled with more trees. An indoor forest, even.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident."Oh, that's pretty neat," I said as I walked out onto a ledge that overlooked a massive cavern. The ceiling was hundreds of metres above, and the ground stretched out a long ways, filled with a miniature forest.I perked my ears up, twisting them this way and that, the same way Booksie did when she was listening, and I tried really hard to pick up on anything from the forest.There was something, way out in the trees somewhere. A clink of metal on metal, maybe some talking? It was hard to tell. A steady wind carried through the cavern from one side, warm and damp. It made the trees rustle which did a lot to muffle and confuse any sounds I could pick up."This is a lot nicer than the swamp," I said. It was true too. The cavern had a pleasant temperature and the air was clean and crisp, and not too moist. There was a faint smell of soil and fresh-cut wood, too.The path leading into the cavern was a wide stairway that had been hewn from the stone and led right down into the woods. There were some footprints, mostly made by boots, but there were a few sets that seemed like they came from big webbed feet.So, the Exploration Guild was definitely there.I skipped down the steps and paused before a wooden sign at the bottom.Please respect the wildlife and don't damage the trees. If you would like to hunt the creatures in the Dungeon, please contact the local Ranger's office for a licence. If you have any concerns or problems, please address them to the Freud-Slip Dungeon Administration, located on the third floor. Feel free to peacefully navigate through the forest.I stared at the sign for a good long moment. That... wasn't something I'd ever seen in a dungeon before. The sign was old and well-worn, and the edges were rounded with age. It looked like it had been put in place a long time ago.It was a little weird."Uh, is this dungeon self-aware?" I asked.No one replied, not even the dungeon."Okay," I said. "I don't want to accidentally hurt the trees or anything, though, so... yeah, I'll be careful." I cleared my throat, then spoke up a little. "I'm sorry, mister or miss dungeon, for, uh, the murder."Then I stepped onto the forest floor, my boots sinking a little into the soft soil. There was no response, but I figured that was okay. I could ask Awen or Amaryllis about it later.For now, I had a dungeon to clear, and the others to catch up to.The forest wasn't particularly dense, and the trees weren't terribly tall. There was a good bit of space between the trunks, and a lot of bushes and shrubs that grew around their bases. I could walk just fine, though every now and then I'd need to duck under a low-hanging branch or hop over a fallen log.I could still hear snatches of fighting, way off ahead, which was more than a little concerning. Were they having a harder time down here?I hadn't noticed anything to fight yet. Had they cleared this part of the forest?I decided not to bother running and instead stuck to walking. I didn't want to trip over anything.That was, until I heard some panicked shouting ahead. "Don't let zem touch you, dammit!" someone shouted. There was a small boom right after, like a spell going off. The leaves rustled, and I felt like maybe the team out ahead weren't following the instructions laid out by the dungeon.I had no idea what they were facing, but it didn't sound good, so I started running towards the fight.The trees and shrubs grew thinner, and soon the forest opened up onto a large field of green grass. A group of people were standing around, most of them hiding behind a large rock, with their weapons drawn and their eyes focused on the other end of the clearing.I immediately recognized Calamity, because he was standing on the big rock, bow pulled taut and ready to fire."Hey!"Calamity spun, clearly startled, and I ducked just in time to feel an arrow whistle between my ears."Oh," he said. "Uh. Oops. Unless that's you're an evil illusion, in which case..." He nocked another arrow. "Don't move."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Eight — Ego
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Eight — Ego I slowly raised my arms over my head. "Uh, I surrender?" I tried.There was a long moment of tension as I was stared down by a whole group of explorers, every one of them on a hair-trigger.Then Awen emerged, stepping closer to me. "Broccoli? Awa, hit me with Cleaning magic," she said."Okay?" I replied, a little confused, and called up my magic.One of the other explorers shouted for me to stop, but by then my Cleaning magic was already sweeping across Awen's legs.Unsurprisingly, she was covered in mud up to her thighs, and I could imagine how awful it must have been to have mud in her boots.By the looks on their faces, they were wary of me, and I guess that made sense. After all, even with all the dungeons I'd been in, only one time had I run into another group. Dungeons were weird, isolated, self-contained worlds, and it probably felt strange to encounter another person when you expected to be isolated and alone ... especially if that isolated world was filled with mud, and the person emerging from the tree line (me) was unnaturally spotless. My friends knew that that was normal, but to anyone else... yeah, I could see why they might think it was a little weird."That's the real Broccoli," Awen said.There was a shout up ahead, and all the attention twitched from me to something barrelling out of the woods.It was a pair of grenoil. They were dressed like young explorers, wearing mostly lighter, leather gear and gambesons with short swords in hand. They skidded to a stop in front of us, spinning around to face back the way they came. "Flies!" one of them shouted."Damn," Calamity said.I stepped a little closer to the group, still keeping some distance between us, not to spook anyone."Broccoli, the flies are dangerous," Awen warned.I nodded. I'd kind of put that together from context clues already, but the confirmation was nice anyway. A nasty buzz came from the trees, and I looked up in time to see a bunch of giant flies the size of my head swarming out of the trees. They had bright yellow and black patterns, and shot toward us like some of those blurry-fast hummingbirds.Calamity fired, and an arrow zipped through two of the flies before lodging into a tree.One of the grenoil aimed a blunderbuss at the sky, and I jumped at the thundering boom as the weapon discharged. The blast sent a couple of the flies crashing down into the grass, their wings aflame and their bodies twitching.Then the rest of the team joined in. Awen fired her crossbow, then reloaded as quickly as she could. Calamity fired a few more arrows into the swarm, and soon slower -moving spells joined the ranged attacks.I saw one grenoil casting something, and a moment later the ground erupted with vines that rose up and lashed out at the flies, trying to trap and capture them. Another grenoil was casting a spell with a wand, a bright blue circle with runes inscribed spinning around her, then she released it, and a blast of icy wind shot out.I joined in, flinging a dozen fireballs at the bugs, but I only hit two or three. My flames weren't nearly as strong as the others, but that didn't seem to matter. The flies went down to a glancing blow.They dropped like ... well, like flies. The last few were taken out close to the group. A few sword swings and spear thrusts and they were dead.Ding! Congratulations, you have brought about the final hour of Time Flies, level 3 (x19)!EXP reduced for fighting as a group!"What were those?" I asked.Calamity grunted and lowered his bow. He was breathing hard, but it didn't look like anyone had been seriously injured. "Time flies," he said."They fly through time?" I asked.He blinked. "No? They're called that because of their ability. You get bitten by one and your senses get messed up.""Like, your sense of smell?" I asked.Calamity glanced at me. "No. Time. Your sense of time. He pointed to one of the members of the Exploration Guild party. "Hannah got bit a while back."The grenoil that he was pointing to, Hannah, I assumed, was sitting on the grass and leaning against a tree. She had a bandage wrapped around her forehead, and was glaring at the forest. After a few long seconds, she turned towards Calamity. "Did you say my name?" she asked."Yeah," Calamity said.Some ten seconds slipped by, and I was about to say something myself when Hannah finally replied, "Okay."It looked like she was a few seconds behind everyone else, or something like that. It would be pretty hard to fight that way, I imagined. Or talk. Or do much of anything else, really.The Exploration Guild group broke up, one of them, a more elderly grenoil, pointing this way and that, and setting people in group's of two to face different directions. Then he walked over to me and Calamity and offered a webbed hand. "Jean-Pierre," he said.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it."Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch," I said. "Are you this team's, uh, leader? Sir Tissue?"He nodded, then gestured to the pin on my bandoleer. "I wasn't expecting anyone else from ze guild here. By ze looks of it you were picked as errand-girl for something? Zat can't be good.""Uh, yes sir. It's been, uh, a very uncomfortable morning," I said.Jean-Pierre grunted. "Well, what are you here for? I hope it's not to help zese two friends of yours?"I blinked. Was he insinuating that I was here to help Awen and Calamity cheat? "No sir. Guild Master Mathilde sent me. There's an emergency in Port Royal, and we need the guild's trackers. She said you were the best."The grenoil rubbed at his chin. "Ah, Mathilde. What's going on in Port Royal?"Booksie was kidnapped."Rubbing his chin, Jean-Pierre frowned. "Bookise. Say, wasn't zat ze name of-?""The wife-to-be of the dragon Rhawrexdee?" I nodded. "Yes."The older grenoil winced. "Zat's... not great. And ze dragon isn't known for being forgiving.""Last I heard, we hadn't told him yet.""Even worse."I winced, and Jean-Pierre nodded along."Say, what does zis Booksie look like?" he asked."Oh, she's a bun, a bit smaller than me, brown hair, kind of quiet. Bookish. Long ears that stay straight," I said. "Why?"Jean-Pierre looked to the others, and then back. "Zis dungeon is acting weird, you know.""I did notice the sign at the entrance," I said.The grenoil nodded. "You'd have to go deeper to see ze difference, but zis isn't like other dungeons. It's less violent and more peaceful. Zere are no traps, just animals.""Animals, and those flies," Calamity added."Animals and zose flies, yes. It's not ze kind of challenge we'd normally use for testing, but.... ""Evil Roots?" I asked.Sir Jean-Pierre Tissue just looked politely confused, but Awen shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "I thought the same, but it doesn't look like there's anything wrong. Just odd.""Okay? I... don't mean to be rude, but a weird dungeon, at least one that's not affected by Evil Roots, isn't as important as finding Booksie.""I suppose not," Jean-Pierre said. He glanced deeper into the forest. "I just have a bad feeling about it. Gather up, and let's get back to ze exit.""Okay!" I said."Wait," one of the others said. This was one of the two grenoil that had come running back, chased by those time flies.The entire team wasn't all that big. There was Jean-Pierre, then two teams of two grenoil, Awen and Calamity as their own, and then a final group with a human man and a mage in long robes with a hood that obscured their species."What is it?" Jean-Pierre asked.The grenoil pointed to me. "Who's zis one? Is she coming with us?""She's from ze guild," Jean-Pierre said."Does dat mean she's in ze test?""It means zat ze test has changed," Jean-Pierre said. "But I suppose introductions wouldn't hurt?" He looked at me and I shrugged. I had the impression he wanted to know who he was dealing with too."I'm Broccoli," I said. "Broccoli Bunch. I'm an explorer. I'm also the captain of the Beaver Cleaver, and both Awen and Calamity's friend. Uh, I can move fast, have a few offensive spells, but mostly I specialize in Cleaning magic and, I guess leadership stuff?""The ship is called the what?" the human asked."The Beaver?" Awen asked.The group seemed to relax a bit, but there was still an uncomfortable tension hanging over the group. Were they still nervous about the testing?"Right. Now that ze pleasantries are out of ze way, let's get back to ze camp. We'll regroup and zen I can start explaining," Jean-Pierre said. He waved towards the path leading back, and the rest of the team started marching off, each person taking their turn to face the forest, then march a dozen steps before looking again. I stayed next to Jean-Pierre, taking in the way everyone, even my friends, moved in little stops and starts."Why is everyone moving like that?" I asked while making a forwards-and-back motion to emulate how one pair would move up, then we'd catch up only for another to run ahead."Oh. It's because zere is an attack coming," Jean-Pierre said.I perked up. "There is? Where? What is it?""We're not sure," he said. "But zis way, we'll be able to react. It's a classic trick, really.""Okay," I said.He nodded, then paused. "So, what sort of trouble has Mathilde been getting herself into?""Ah, I think it's the big kind," I said. And wasn't that the truth?
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Nine — Superego
Chapter Four Hundred and Forty-Nine — Superego The team couldn't exactly leave right away. Instead, Jean-Piere led us out of the forest and back towards the sorta-cliffside where I'd come into the floor from. We crossed the sign by the entrance, then paused."Did you encounter anything on ze first floor?" he asked.I nodded. "Yeah. Some monsters that repeated anything I said. Mimicry murlocks? They were kind of creepy? Not very strong, though."He nodded. "I knew zere were a few left. If you took more out, zen ze return will be zat much easier. Alright. I'll take point, if you don't mind. Seeing as how you're not one of the new recruits, I suppose you can do what you want."I blinked, but I supposed that made some sense.The Exploration Guild's field test was meant to see if people were competent enough to join. If someone passed, and if they, for example, were sent on quick missions by the Guild Master, then it was probably safe to say that they were at least somewhat good at the whole exploration thing.And Jean-Pierre seemed willing to assume that much about me.It was actually kind of nice. I didn't mind people underestimating me, or seeing if I needed help with something. I wasn't the sort of bun to be insulted so easily. But it was nice to have someone that was a professional just assume that I was capable as well.I moved a bit closer to Jean-Pierre, leaning down because of the difference in height between the two of us so that the others wouldn't overhear as easily. "How far along in the testing have you gotten?" I asked, under my breath.He smiled. "Hmm. Not zat far, but enough to get a feel for some of zese recruit's potentials.""Can I help? The mission was kind of cut short and all."He rubbed at his chin. "I suppose I wouldn't mind ze help. Would you say you're a good judge of character?""I'd like to think so," I said. "And I have a few skills that help with that.""Ah, right. An airship captain would want a few skills to manage zeir crew... how many are zere, on your ship?""Uh, myself, the first mate, Awen over there is our mechanic, and Calamity is from our... away party? After that, there's six more, and one permanent stowaway. Oh, and the ship's cat."He nodded, and I was thankful he made no comment, because calling Caprica a permanent stowaway probably wasn't very flattering, even if it was technically true. "Okay. Good enough. If you could talk with everyone, see what zeir like. Zat might help. Part of being a good member of the guild is being able to work with others, forming... if not friendships, zen at least professional relationships.""That makes perfect sense," I said. "I'm not sure how much I'll learn between here and Rockstack, but I'll do what I can! Oh, uh, but it wouldn't be too fair to judge my own friends."He shrugged. "Calamity is a shoe-in. Good hunter skills translate well. He's good enough with others too. Awen is a little less... field-ready, but her skills for dungeoneering are decent enough. She's not a whining noble brat. And at ze same time... her family name?""Ah, Bristlecone?" I asked. "You're wondering about Abraham.""Any relation?""He's her uncle," I said. "We actually came to Port Royal with him.""Ah, ze famous niece. Well, I zink I would have a hard time not accepting her. It's good zat she seems competent enough, because it'll save me having to argue with zat man.""I don't think Awen would want to be treated special because of her family," I said."Zat speaks well of her character too," he said. "Right, let's not linger too much longer. Ze recruits seem to have caught zeir breath."Was that why we stopped? I looked back and saw that Calamity and Awen were both fine, but at least three of the recruits looked a little winded, and some of the others weren't in top form.I'd never been anything exceptional back on Earth, and ever since arriving on Dirt, I'd always felt the need to push hard to keep up with all the strong people around me. However ... I was starting to get the feeling that my friends and I weren't quite normal, anymore, at least compared to the average person. We weren't super high-levelled or anything, but we did have classes and skills that were handy for adventuring."Alright everyone, enough sitting around. Let's head out. Miss Bunch will be chatting with each team, to make sure you're all doing well."Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.I nodded along, confirming what he said, then I watched as the group started to move. I let them move on ahead of me, with Awen and Calamity right behind Jean-Pierre. I waved them on, and my friends didn't seem to mind my new sorta-job.The next team was the one with two grenoil gentlemen, then the team with the human and the person in the mage's robes, and finally the team with the two younger grenoil.I slipped in next to them. "Hi!" I said. "I'm Broccoli.""Uh," the grenoil boy said. "Hey. Nice to meet you?""You're a full-fledged member?" the girl asked, sounding maybe a tough suspicious."I am! Something came up, and we need Jean-Pierre back in Port Royal. So I guess the exercise will be cut a little short. Sorry?""No, it's fine," the girl said. She didn't sound like she thought it was fine though. She frowned, and cast her eyes down."So, what are your names?" I asked. That seemed like a nice neutral ground to start with."I'm Davis," the boy said. He gestured to the grenoil girl. "This is Hannah.""Hello, Davis and Hannah," I said. "Is this your first time in a dungeon?"These two, of all the new recruits, seemed the least prepared. They had big backpacks, and it looked like Hannah was carrying half of a household's worth of stuff, but it wasn't all that well packed, and I couldn't imagine it all being useful. Plus, it was covered in mud and looked wet. It was no wonder she, at least, needed a small break.The rest of their gear wasn't great either. Two spears, and even if I wasn't an expert of any sort, it didn't look like either of them were too used to carrying them. The knives by their hips looked better used."Is it that obvious?" Hannah asked. She sounded worried about it."We're both at the level cap," Davis said. "We can manage a dungeon, I'm sure."I nodded along. "I'm sure! Your first is a little tricky. I'm sorry we won't be going all the way to the end of this one. But now you know a little more of what to expect. At least from this one, specifically.""Have you done a lot of them?" Hannah asked."Uh... a few?" I tried. "Let's see... I can't remember all of their names, but there was one near... nevermind that one. Then two in Mattergrove, then two on the way south, one in sylphfree, then another up north. I think I've gone through seven dungeons so far?"Davis looked a little stunned, and Hannah a little awed.I scratched at the side of my neck. It felt kinda embarrassing.The other two teams, the ones with the human and the mage, and the two grenoil, were moving a lot faster, so I gestured to them. "We should try to keep up," I said. "But if you have any questions about dungeons, I'd love to help. At least, as much as I can!""Uh, do they always have... things in them? Like the flies?" Davis asked."You mean monsters?" I asked."Yeah."I nodded. "Almost all dungeons have monsters, although the mixture varies. Some have a lot of monster types, others have only one. Though ... there was dungeon we went through that had almost no monsters. That one was weird.""Why was that weird?" Hannah asked."There were a bunch of traps instead of monsters. And the dungeon was a huge, huge tree," I said. I smiled at Hannah's impressed look, then remembered that I was supposed to be learning about these two, not impressing them with my vast experience stumbling through dungeons. "But enough about me. Have you had trouble so far? I hope the mimicry murlocks weren't too annoying."Davis nodded. "They were a bit, yeah. Hard to find when they weren't copying us. I think we could have dealt with them easier, but... yeah. I don't know if we were really ready for them.""We're... not fighters," Hannah said. "Well, not this kind of fighter. There's lots of fighting back home, but not like in here.""Where are you from?" I asked.Hannah and Davis glanced at each other before Hannah answered. She almost sounded ashamed about it. "Port Royal. Not the nice parts of the city.""Oh," I said. It didn't take much to understand what she was trying to say. It was hard not to feel for them. "What are your classes?" I asked."We're both level ten, we hit the level cap last winter," Davis said, and that was all he said.Maybe drawing things out of these two would be trickier than I'd thought.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty — Fishing for Information
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty — Fishing for Information Jean-Pierre made us come to a stop at the end of the tunnel between the first and second floors, which was probably a good thing. Poor Hannah's breath was ragged as she struggled under the weight of her bags. She looked half-ready to chuck them aside."Give us five?" I called out to Jean-Pierre.He scanned me and the two new recruits, then gave me a firm nod. One of the others, a grenoil in the other all-grenoil team, scoffed, but no one else protested."Alright," I said as I turned to Hannah. "Let's get that gear off of your back. You're going to injure yourself.""She insisted," Davis said with a sigh."You don't know what we might need," Hannah shot back.She had certainly packed for every possibility. There were a few pots and pans on the outside of her pack, and a full set of cutlery, as well as one small bag that looked like it was stuffed with far more tinder than she could ever possibly need.There were more handy things too, canned foods and tarp and a blanket. I helped her out from under all the weight, then washed Cleaning magic over all her stuff (and Davis)."What is that?" Hannah asked."Cleaning magic," I said. "It's kind of my speciality when it comes to magics!" She looked a little doubtful at that. "It's not great in a fight, most of the time, but when it is, it's very strong! Also, my friends and I are the cleanest crew in the world, I think. You wouldn't think that matters a lot, but we never have to worry about mud or diseases, and our food is always safe, and having fresh clothes and equipment means we have one less thing to worry about, so we focus better.""I guess," Hannah said. "Never really thought about it. Never really invested much into magic either. I can barely start a fire."I nodded along. I... suspected that that wasn't all that uncommon. Magic was super useful, but that didn't mean that everyone would learn some. Still, it was a little weird that people weren't taking some time to pick at least a bit of magic up along the way. Simple spells like Light were super handy, and not exactly had to learn. Most people would probably get a few skills to rank C, even if they were stopping at level 10.I supposed that Hannah meant that she didn't have a more... broad and useful knowledge of magic. Stuff like offensive spells.I helped Hannah unpack a few of her things, then we reorganised them so they'd be easier to carry. "I'll take one of these too," I said. "I rushed out here without any luggage, so I don't mind carrying some.""Thank you," Hannah said, and she sounded genuinely happy.Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Chivalry!I gasped. "I got it!" I said."Got what?" Davis asked.I flung an arm around each of them, squeezing them close to me in a warm double-hug. They'd helped me and they deserved it!"Chivalry! It's a skill that I've been meaning to pick up since forever," I said. "Or any skill like it, really."Now all I needed to do was wait for the prompt to combine Chivalry with Adorable and I'd never again be plagued by that unmentionably bad skill!Any moment now...I blinked, my instant enthusiasm dying off slowly. "Maybe it'll take a minute," I muttered.ChivalryRank F — 00%The ability to be chivalrous. Your moral code shows in the strength of your actions.That was a weird description, but okay. I didn't think I had a moral code. Was 'be nice' a moral code? It felt a little flimsy.Maybe it was because I didn't have a specific goal? I wanted to be a good person, and a helpful one, and maybe if I could have a clear goal then the system would be able to pick it up better?Well, whatever! It was something I'd have to talk to Amaryllis about later, or maybe Caprica, she'd know more about knightly stuff like this. But neither of them were here now, and the crew of new recruits were, so it was back to work for me!"Alright, all packed up. Ready?" I asked.Davis and Hannah looked a lot more comfortable now, and after a minute of packing up, the Exploration Guild was ready to move through the first floor."Can you guys move up to the front?" I asked. "Right behind Mister Jean-Pierre. I'll check in with the other teams in the meantime."Davis nodded, then he and Hannah hurried along the tunnel and caught up to the front of the line, leaving me at the very back of the group. I skipped forwards, catching up to the duo now taking up the rear.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author."Hi!" I said."Gah, uh, hi," the human said, startled. He looked a bit nervous.His companion, the mage in a grey robe and hood, nodded my way. "Good morning," they said. Their voice was feminine, and quite pretty."I'm Broccoli. Are you guys alright? That was a bit of a tough fight back there."The human chuckled nervously. "Yeah, it was," he said. "But we've done our share of fighting before. I'm Jake. You're a full member of the Guild?"I nodded. "Sure am. Got my pin and everything," I said, holding it up to the light."So, you're a scout then?" Jake asked."Not exactly," I said. "Calamity is a scout. I'm kind of more the, ah, the captain? And I have a few skills that let me do a bunch of stuff.""Captain? You really have an airship?" Jake asked."We sure do," I said.He hummed. "Man, you Exploration Guild people are all loaded. You were right, this is a good move," he said to the mage next to him."Your greed is showing," the mage said.Jake rolled his eyes. "Hey, don't be a spoilsport, Kerri. I'm just saying, if this whole exploration thing doesn't work out, maybe I can ask one of these guys for a loan. I'll pay them back, you know?"Kerri sighed, and I couldn't tell if it was exasperated or fond. "Sure, Jake. So, Miss Captain, why are you walking with us?""To make sure everyone is doing alright," I said."You're like the test supervisor or something?" Jake asked shrewdly. He was a little rough around the edges, but it was clear he was at least somewhat sharp."Or something," I said with a grin. "I'm really just helping since the mission was cut short."Jake nodded. "Nice, nice. How hard are you going to judge us?""Well, you've been nice so far, so that's good," I said."Is being nice important?" Kerri asked."I'd say so. If you can't work with others, you're going to have a really hard time adventuring, or doing anything," I said. "It's important to be nice and friendly.""It can't be the only thing, though," Kerri argued. "You've got to be competent. It doesn't matter if you're the nicest person around — if you can't handle a fight or find a way out of a tough spot, then you won't do much for your friends.""Oh, I suppose that's true," I said. I hoped my friends didn't just keep me around for my Cleaning and hugging abilities. "So, speaking of skills....""Are you trying to interrogate us about our classes and levels and stuff?" Jake asked."I'm a bit curious, yes," I admitted. "Is that bad?""Naw," he said. "Kerri's a bard, and I'm an explorer.""A bard, really?" I asked. I had pinned her as a mage."Yes, I'm a bard," she said. Her hood turned to me, and even though I couldn't see her eyes, I could feel the glare."Sorry? I had kind of assumed you were a wizard or something. It's the outfit, I think. You look all mysterious and stuff.""It's practical. I wear this and people won't recognise me as a bard. I'd rather not deal with that hassle.""Okay," I said. "Do you play an instrument? Or do you use magic to make music or something?"Kerri shrugged, but Jake jumped in. "She can sing. Her voice is great!""I can kinda sing," Kerri said. "But... no, I don't play any instruments. Or do pantomimes. I'm a magic bard. That's all. I copy spells.""Oh, I see," I said. That sounded pretty useful. "Well, I've never worked with a bard before, I don't think. I'm sure you must have a bunch of useful skills.""It's not all bad," Kerri said. "But my family's bardic traditions are... not as bard-like as people expect. I don't like it when people assume that just because I'm a bard I can entertain and jump around making a fool of myself. I'm a respectable member of the O'Key family, not some jumped-up jester."Jake chuckled. "You are pretty respectable. Don't mind her. She's a bit sore about the whole thing. It's not like her family forced her to become a bard, but the O'Keys have a long history and she doesn't want to tarnish their reputation.""I can understand that," I said. I glanced to the front, but I could still hear the sounds of the others talking, and the soft clink of equipment. So far, no mimics. Just a lot of wet, soggy ground to cover. Was the dungeon letting up because we were heading out?
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-One — Personality Quiz
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-One — Personality Quiz I didn't want to run out of time, so after I felt I had a decent grasp of Jake and Kerri, I shifted my attention to the last pair of adventurers. We were halfway back across the first floor-still without meeting any of those Murlocks-when I moved up and next to the two grenoils."Hello," I said.They both eyed me, but it was the shorter of the two that spoke up first. "Hello," he said. "Is it our turn to be interviewed?""Ah... I guess? I wasn't being very subtle about it, was I?""If you were, then giving it away just now certainly didn't help," he replied.I flushed a bit, then giggled at my own mistake. "Ah, I guess so! Well, it's not so much an interview as it is a... okay, so I guess it sort of is an interview, but you don't need to be too nervous or anything. Jean-Pierre only really needs me to make sure that everyone is more or less on the same page.""That makes some sense," he replied. "I'm Guy. This is Harrison.""Greetings, Captain," Harrison said with a nod. "So, what kind of questions does this interview ask?"I blinked, then shrugged. "Nothing too complicated. I think it's mostly for me to get a feel for how well you'd fit into the Exploration Guild. The guild is very good at encouraging people to work together. I've made some of my best friends there. I don't know if someone needs to have a certain kind of... maturity in order to be part of that, but it wouldn't hurt."Guy nodded along. "That makes some sense. A lot of the guild's work will have experts in different fields forming temporary teams, won't it?""I guess so. Ah, my experience is a little different, I guess? The Beaver Cleaver, that is, my ship, is kind of an exploration vessel.""So the crew is entirely composed of members of the guild?" Harrison asked."No, just... well, if things go well, four of us. Plus we sometimes have other members onboard. Abraham Bristlecone and one of his friends were with us for part of the trip back, for example."They both seemed to nod at that, but I wasn't sure I'd convinced them of anything. Or did I have to convince them to begin with? Harrison and Guy weren't being aggressive, but it felt like I was the one on the hotseat."Anyway! I was wondering, why do the two of you want to join the guild?"Harrison and Guy glanced at each other, and after a few moments, Guy sighed. "We want to become more... independent. Our families have strong ties in Deepmarsh. Still, we don't want to leave the country. Port Royal seemed like as good a place as any to call home without being in the same city as our family, and within Port Royal, the Exploration Guild doesn't seem like a bad option. It's prestigious, and it comes with the ability to travel, which we're both interested in."Harrison hummed. "And it doesn't hurt that we'll get away from grenoil who are entrenched in the old ways."I nodded along, because that made a lot of sense."I see," I said before I pointed to the gun on his back. It was almost as long as my arm, with a funnel-shaped end on the barrel, and a wooden stock with careful engravings. "Is that a blunderbuss?""It is," Harrison said. "I'm surprised you recognize it. Most people wouldn't know the difference. I don't think most people are even familiar with what a gun is, much less what they look like.""We have them back where I'm from," I said.He raised an eyebrow, and the expression looked kind of odd on his round face. "Really? I didn't know that buns were that advanced.""Well, less buns more... anyway, I haven't seen anyone using guns, or even canons. Are they uncommon?""Canons aren't that useful unless you have a fortified location for them. They're too heavy to carry around with anything less than a train of horses," Harrison said. "As for guns, well, they're difficult to make, the powder is expensive, and it's a bit of a mess to use them. Most don't really have the right materials or craftsmen to make them.""Are they better than bows?" I asked.Harrison's chest puffed out. "Bows? Please. Arrows don't fly nearly as far. They don't hit as hard either. No, guns are much, much better."I was pretty sure that that's how things had worked out on Earth, but I didn't know if they would match up favourably against magic. Or even a bow bolstered by relevant skills. Calamity could hit a fly from a hundred metres away. And with a moment, he could make his arrows catch fire, or explode on impact.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.I wondered how he'd feel about guns."That's neat," I said. "Does it get hot when you fire it?"Harrison nodded. "Hot enough to burn if you're not careful. I don't know about it being hot enough to light a fire, however. It doesn't reach those kinds of degrees."Those kinds of degrees... did he mean in Celsius or Fahrenheit? Well, it didn't matter. "What about you, Guy, what's your class? If you don't mind sharing, that is.""Oh, I don't mind. It's not a very exciting class. I'm an Alchemist. I have some skill with chemistry.""An Alchemist! That's neat," I said. "That must be super useful as an explorer too. You can make all kinds of cool potions and stuff."He shrugged. "Potions are expensive. And while they're handy, they do have some deficiencies. There are skills and spells for that kind of thing. But, where you'd need specialised healers and buff-givers, a single well-stocked alchemist can keep a team going on their own." He reached to his belt, which I noticed had several big pouches running all around it. Opening a flap, he revealed a set of small finger-width potion bottles in little straps."Neat!" I said. "And you can make the potions yourself, right?""Right. I'm not great at it, but it's a nice sideline to have. And some things are easier to make yourself. Like... ah, a healing potion is pretty easy, and so are a few poisons.""Oh, so you can make poisons!" I said. That seemed very handy for someone working through dungeons. It was probably not as directly strong as a fighter or mage kind of class, and using poisons didn't seem... very friendly."Not as much as I'd like," he said."Oh," I replied. "I think it's neat. What kind of things do you like to work on?"Guy smiled a little, and he started expounding on a few of the potions he was trying to make. He'd been hoping to get to some of the lower floors of this dungeon-there were rarer ingredients down there which he wanted to experiment on.I couldn't understand a lot of what he was saying, but he was very enthusiastic about his hobby.By the time we got to the exit, Guy had calmed down and was back to a more neutral expression, and Harrison looked like he was a little less on edge."I need to run ahead," I said. "Thanks for the chat!"I waved goodbye to the two, then hopped past my friends, stopping for only a moment to give Awen a quick surprise hug and then a less-surprising hug to Calamity too before I reached Jean-Pierre.The elderly grenoil glanced at me. "I assume ze lot have passed?" he asked."Yes. they're all competent, and they get along well. Some of them seem a lot newer. Jake and Kerri have some experience, but not much formal training I think. Hannah and Davis... could use more experience and training. I don't think either would have much trouble adjusting to the guild," I said. "They're a little reserved, but once you get them talking they're not so bad!""Hmm. Keep in mind zat you have social skills. It'll be harder for others to get people to open up. But still, most team leads have a few leadership skills too."I blinked. Wait, did that make social skills kind of bad? Or at least manipulative?I was thinking about that when the older grenoil stopped in front of the exit. "We'll be stopping here," he said. "It's a little early, but zis is the only place we can camp.""Camp?" I asked."Mmm. Yes. Get some lunch into these people before the walk back to Rockstack.""But Booksie... aren't things a little too urgent for lunch breaks?" I asked.Jean-Pierre glanced my way, and his gaze was a little sad. "Maybe. But zese people are not soldiers. Zey're explorers. It's important zat we respect zat.""Oh," I said. That made some sense. At the same time... "I think I'll be going ahead, then," I said. "I can't sit around and wait while Booksie might be in trouble." My tummy growled, and Jean-Pierre gave me a look. "Even if I'm hungry.""You're not going alone, are you?" Awen asked as she came up behind us. Calamity nodded next to her.Jean-Pierre hummed, then shrugged. "I won't stop you, but make sure you know what you're doing. We'll be leaving once ze sun reaches midday.""I think I'll head out as soon as I can, then," I said. "Thank you for your help."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Two — If You See Something, Say Something
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Two — If You See Something, Say Something "Awa, it's nice just being us again," Awen said.I grinned as I looked to the side. Awen hadn't looked too bad when she was with all of the other recruits and Sir Tissue, but now that we were off on our own it looked like she'd cast off a bit of tension, her shoulders had relaxed and she looked much happier.So, to add to the happiness, I leaned to the side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a side-hug. "Did you have some fun, at least?""It wasn't bad," Awen said. "Some of them were a little weird about working with a human, but Mister Jean-Pierre put an end to that. And I think we did pretty well in the dungeon?""That team with the two that look like they just came off the mean streets," Calamity said, "they didn't look like they knew what they were doing.""Oh, were they that bad?" I asked. He was definitely talking about Hannah and Davis. The two had been nice, but I think Calamity was probably right about them not quite having all that much experience."I've seen a lot of new people showing up to hunts before," Calamity said. "Happened all the time. People would show up with ideas of how things were done, but no experience. Sometimes you could set them straight before they'd hurt themselves, sometimes you'd need to give them the boot before they ruined a hunt. But you just have to live with it. Most people need to start somewhere.""They seemed nice," I said. "I think Hannah, especially, really wants to be part of the guild. That kind of enthusiasm should help a lot, I think."Calamity nodded. "Yup. You'd get wanna-be hunters like that too. It's great, because they want to be part of the group so much that they don't complain when you give them scop work.""Hey," I said. "That's mean.""Someone has to clean the dishes and dig the latrines," Calamity said with a shrug.Awen laughed. "I think it's okay. It'll make them useful to the guild, and at the same time they'll have time to learn how to be good explorers."I hummed, but didn't say anything against that. I remembered the first group of explorers I'd run into a long, long time ago. They'd had a younger grenoil with them who was always doing the boring work too.We were just passing the old delver camp when Awen spoke up. "Um, so, Broccoli, why did you come and get us?""Oh!" I gasped. "Oh gosh, I completely forgot to tell you. Right! I came to get Jean-Pierre, uh, Sir Tissue. He's one of the guild's best trackers, and we need him. Booksie was... she was kidnapped.""Hoh boy," Calamity muttered.Awen just gasped, hands clamping over her mouth. "When? Why?""This morning, we think. Or maybe last night? I don't know, exactly. Amaryllis is trying to find out, and Caprica is working with the sylph embassy too. I rushed over to get Jean-Pierre, and the two of you too.""Can we help?" Awen asked. "Being kidnapped is... no good, most of the time.""Yeah," I said. "Just being there should help.""Hey now, I'm not a terrible tracker myself, you know," Calamity griped. "And I have a good nose. Maybe I can pick something up from Booksie's place. But... we sure she was kidnapped?""What do you mean?" I asked."Well, she's got a mighty stressful time coming up. Some people respond to stress by toughening up, some just push through, others fold, and then some run away from home, change their identity, and become incredibly handsome hunters."I narrowed my eyes, inspecting Calamity. That last one was a bit suspiciously specific."Uh-huh. I don't feel like Booksie would be the sort to run away from her marriage. She doesn't strike me as that kind of bun. If anything, she might be the sort to put her foot down." I shook my head. "Maybe you're right, but I don't think so.""It was just an idea," Calamity said. "Best to assume the worst and work to find her, then we can figure things out from there.""Mhm!" I agreed.We left the marshes behind, starting down the road at a brisk clip. I took some time to splash some Cleaning magic onto myself and my friends. Calamity especially-mud was very good at getting stuck to fur. By the time I was done, his fur was standing on end and he looked particularly poofy.I tried not to giggle, failed, then endured Calamity's pouting until we were almost back to Rockstack.We made good time on the way back. Not sprinting, exactly, but not wasting any time either. All three of us kept a quick pace, which meant less chatting than I was used to, but still... I couldn't help but feel guilty for all the time I'd taken getting to Jean-Pierre in the first place. Could I have gotten there faster? Was Booksie hurting because I was being slow?Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author."Are you okay?" Awen asked.I nodded. "I'm fine," I said. "Let's just get back to Port Royal.""We're teleporting back, right?" Calamity asked. "Because I'm not sure if my breakfast agreed with that, but I'm less sure about trying it on an empty stomach."'Yeah. The guild's paying for it, and it's way, way faster than going back to Port Royal ourselves. That's a trip that takes a full day by carriage."Calamity scoffed. "We could do it in a morning. We move a lot faster than a carriage."I blinked, but looking back... yeah, we probably were faster than a carriage, especially on these roads, which were muddy and covered in potholes. I wasn't thinking about it, but our 'fast walking' speed was probably as quick as my running speed before arriving on Dirt.I supposed that was the benefit of having even slightly higher stats. And a life that encouraged lots of moving all day long.Rockstack appeared ahead, sitting atop a large bump in the landscape that probably kept the outpost nice and dry from all the swampiness around it.I led my friends up to the front gate, ready to shoot past the guards, when I decided not to. Yes, I was in a bit of a hurry, but that didn't mean that I could just stop being polite. There were limits to such things. "Hello," I said as we came up to the gate."Oh, you're back," one of the grenoil said. The guards hadn't changed yet. Or maybe Rockstack only had a few to begin with. "Hey, you mentioned something about seeing a bun earlier, didn't you?"My heart did a little leap. "Yes?" I asked."Well, we didn't see one," he continued. "But there's this guy that comes here every so often.""Two or three times a week," the other guard said."Always thought he was a little strange. Comes over and buys enough food and supplies to keep a dozen fed. Anyway, this morning, some time after we saw you, he came into town and we chatted him up. He asked if we knew what sorts of food buns eat.""We don't," said the other."Yeah. But I thought I'd ask you," the first continued, looking expectantly at me.I looked between them. "So... a mysterious... this guy's a grenoil? Okay, so a mysterious grenoil came up this morning, and he usually buys lots of supplies and takes them out of the outpost, and this morning he wanted to know about bun foods?""He came maybe an hour after you left," the guard said. "He's still around, I think. We'd notice him leaving. I thought you might know what buns eat, since, uh, you know.""Yeah," I said. "I'll go talk to him.""You think that was just a coincidence?" Calamity asked once we were through."It could be," Awen said. "There's more than one bun around.""Not that many," I said. "I think Booksie's one of the only buns in Port Royal. They're... we're, rare. And someone asking what to feed a bun today, of all days? Uh, maybe it's worth a little detour?"There were only so many stores in a place like Rockstack, and only so many strange and mysterious grenoil going around buying heaps of supplies. So it wasn't all that surprising when we found our suspect at the general store, juggling a heavy backpack filled to the brim with boxes and jars and a couple of sacks.Calamity smiled a very cat-like smile as he wrapped an arm around the grenoil's shoulder. "Hey there, buddy!" he said.The grenoil jolted, nearly losing his grip on his burdens. "Who are you?" he snapped. "Unhand me!""Don't worry, friend, I just have a couple of very quick questions for you," Calamity said.I glanced at the owner of the shop, who was eyeing the whole scene warrily, then smiled as big and innocent as I could manage. "Sorry about stopping you, mister. But we heard you asking about buns?" I wiggled my ears in emphasis. "We kinda lost our bun friend, and we were wondering if maybe you saw her?"The grenoil stiffened, then shook his head. "No, I didn't see any buns.""You were asking about their eating habits," the shopkeeper said."I was just curious," he replied."Our friend was kidnapped this morning," I said. "We're really worried. Maybe just answer a few questions? Please?""We promise it won't hurt," Calamity added helpfully.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Three — Social Fu
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Three — Social Fu My friends and I took over a table in a corner of the Hop On Inn, the three of us sitting across from the grenoil we'd... encouraged to follow us."That's so ambitious!" I said with a gasp. "You must be very brave to want to do something like that."The grenoil squirmed in his seat a little. "It's not that impossible," he said. Reaching over, he grabbed the pint of cool beer that Calamity had ordered for him at the counter and took a swallow.His name was Emile, and after I told Calamity not to scare him so much and helped him carry his things, he really opened up. His dream was to become a sort of trader, bringing goods to delvers and people in outposts away from major cities for a tidy markup.I felt a little dirty, using all of my friend-making skills to schmooze up to Emile, but it was for a good cause. I said sorry on Calamity's behalf, then insisted that he looked tired and road-weary before dragging him to the inn.I didn't even have time to catch up with the innkeeper, not if I wanted to get to the bottom of what Emile knew."It, ah, it is kind of brave," Awen said. She'd been helping me in her own way, encouraging Emile by asking questions and sometimes repeating what he said back to him. It was working surprisingly well. "Delvers can be hard to work with, I think.""Oh, they can be," Emile agreed. "But I've been working around them for years now. They need certain things, and they always ask for them too late.""Too late?" I asked.He nodded seriously. "Do you have any idea how often a delver team will ask for six hundred metres of strong, fire-proof rope the day before they need it? It happened to me twice! Twice! And they expected me to deliver it right then and there, as if I could just vomit it up for them. It's impossible to explain to them that their impossible demands are impossible too. It's very frustrating. But the gold... it's good gold. Some of them don't have an idea of what anything is worth. They make up for those that count off every copper and weigh every silver.""I'm sure you do well," I said encouragingly. "You just need to put in a bit of work, and make the right friends. We do a lot of adventuring for the Exploration guild, I think that could also be an untapped market for you."Emile hadn't exactly shared his dream with me the conventional way. I'd gotten it out of him with a quick use of Friendmaking, and then I just pushed the conversation that way. After that, it was easy to keep him going. He was on his second beer, and was a lot more chatty and agreeable than when we'd started."Yeah, that could be nice," he said. "But I'm not quite ready yet. There's still so much to look into. Distributors, hiring runners, setting up some sort of transportation system. I'm years away from having a proper business.""Mhm!" I said with a nod. "Still, I'm very impressed that you're working on it already. But, ah... well, would you mind if I asked you a question? It's about your current client."Elmie hesitated. "I don't know. Keeping my client's information to myself is important, you know.""I get it," I said. "Well... maybe answer this, did your clients ask about bun food because they had a bun with them?""That's... possible," he said evasively."A bun woman? About... hmm, a few years older than me. Like, a young adult? Brown hair and ears? Glasses?""Yeah," he said."Did they mention her name?" I asked.Emile shifted in his seat. "I really shouldn't say," he said. "This client is... hard to work with, but they pay well.""I get it," I said. "But we're really desperately looking for our friend. Her name is Booksie, and she was kidnapped, right out of her shop too. It's her dream store. A little bookstore right in the middle of Port Royal. She'd been working for years and years to get it going, and it's only been working well recently. Though she did have trouble with some of the gangs before they were taken over by Cholondee."Emile's face scrunched up in sympathy. He held his beer in both hands, and didn't meet my gaze. "Well... look, my clients have a little compound up the road towards Port Royal. I pop over there to supply them. It's something like an outpost, but smaller. When I went there this morning to get a list of what they needed, they had this bun woman.""Yeah?" I asked.If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it."She looked a bit rough? Hair a mess, and she was in a roughed-up nightgown. She didn't look happy to be there, and had a few guards around her. Anyway. They said they needed supplies to keep a bun fed, and so I added that to the shipping list."I held back a gasp. That had to be Booksie. And if it wasn't... well, it sounded like someone that needed help anyway. "That might be our friend," I said. "She was kidnapped from her store this morning. Or late last night, maybe.""Would that be long enough to get from Port Royal to this outpost?" Calamity asked."It's an hour up the road if you jog the entire way," Emile said. "It's another six hours at a quick pace to Port Royal. Keep in mind, my class lets me move quickly on the roads, especially on delivery. You could make it from Port Royal to the outpost in a morning if you were quick.""Thanks, Emile," I said. "Could you let us know where that outpost is?""Oh, sure," he replied easily. Then he gave some vague instructions on how to find it. It was mostly just off the road leading to Port Royal, some ways past the dungeon we were just at.I fished around in my pouches, and found a small coin which I placed on the table. It should be enough to pay for a light meal, or another round. "We have to head out. I, uh, think that maybe you should stay in Rockstack. That might be for the best.""Oh," he said. He eyed the three of us, paying particular attention to the weapons my friends had. "Right. I can do that."I smiled one last time before leaving the Inn with my friends. "We have to rescue her," I said."Think it's worth getting reinforcements first?" Calamity asked. "Sounds like there'll be quite a few of them at this outpost.""Jean-Pierre," I said. "He seems pretty strong, and he has a bunch of recruits with him too. Some of them look pretty tough!""That could work," Awen said. "Fighting kidnappers isn't ..." she paused, glancing down at herself. Mumbling under her breath, she started counting things off on her fingers, but seemed to give up when she'd used an entire hand. "... Actually, it is pretty common for us-I mean, the Exploration guild-to fight kidnappers. The recruits could probably use the training."It was a pretty fantastic idea, I thought."Jean-Pierre and the others are probably heading our way," I said. "We can meet them on the road, turn around, rescue Booksie, and be back to Port Royal before the city is drowned in dragon lightning!"It was a plan!But first... I sent my friends ahead of me and darted over to the general store. The grenoil at the counter eyed me warily. That look grew to outright suspicion when I found a spade on a rack to one side and placed it on the counter."What's zis for?" he asked."It's a spade?" I said. "It's mostly for digging.""And who will you be burying with it?" he asked.I blinked. "Oh! You think this is to bury Emile! Because we threatened him earlier? No, he's fine. He's at the inn right now. This is for threatening someone else."He sold me the spade, but I noticed that he charged a bit more than the price on the tag and he didn't stop giving me a look until I was out of the door and bouncing off after my friends.It only took a minute or two to catch up, and soon all three of us were running down the road, moving fast enough that the air rushing past felt like a strong wind.Rockstack fell behind, and soon enough we were almost at the dungeon again. Jean-Pierre and the others were all on the road just off the little side-path leading to the dungeon itself. He saw us coming and frowned as we ran over. "I didn't expect to see you again so soon," he said.I gasped for air for a moment, then nodded as I caught my breath. "We have a lead," I said. Then I had to explain about running into Emile in Rockstack, and about how Booksie-or a bun that fit her description-was just down the road from us."Huh," he said. "Zat's unexpected. But it's not ze most outlandish zing I've ever heard either. Why didn't you go to Mathilde with zis?""We don't have the time," I said, and if a bit of tension slipped into my voice, no one commented on it. "If it is Booksie, she could be moved to a new location at any moment. It's better for us to act while this lead is hot." I took a deep breath. "But we don't know what we'll find. We could really use your help."Jeanne-Pierre rubbed his chin. "Give me a minute to consider," he said.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Four — Broccoli Wants You!
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Four — Broccoli Wants You! Jean-Pierre actually took a long time to make up his mind. Finally though, he nodded. "I want to go on ze record first and say zat zis is a very bad idea.""Which part?" I asked."Ze part where we'll be basically attacking a camp with unknown allegiances, in unknown terrain, with people with far too little experience and equipment, during ze middle of ze day, to try and save someone who might not even be present," he said."Oh... that part," I replied. I chewed on a knuckle. If it came to it, I think my friends and I could try to rescue Booksie on our own. We had very little idea what we were up against, though. We knew it was a dozen or so baddies, but that was about it.Could we rush back to Port Royal, get some help, then come back with that help, return to Booksie, and rescue her in time to stop a disaster?That would add several hours to the time that Booksie-or whoever it was-spent in captivity. By then, she could even have been moved further away.Jean-Pierre took a deep breath. "I'm in," he said.I felt a weight lifting itself off my shoulders. "Thank you!" I said."But I can't speak for ze recruits-zis is beyond what zey signed up for. Zey'll have to make zeir own decisions," he said before turning to the recruits in question. "You all heard what the captain had to say?" he asked.Hannah raised a hand. "Someone was kidnapped and you suspect they're being held nearby?""Yes," I said. "My friend, Booksie. She's also the fiance of one of the dragons living over in Port Royal."Harrison hissed a word that wasn't fit for polite company."Sir Tissue is right," I said. "We can't demand that you help us. This might be dangerous. There's a chance that the kidnappers will surrender Booksie without a fight, but they might fight extra hard because they'll know that a dragon will be chasing them down soon. I can't demand that you help, but I would appreciate it."Jean-Pierre rubbed at his chin. "As would I. I want to say zat zis is exactly ze kind of messy situation zat crops up once you're at ze higher echelons of ze guild, but none of you are members yet, and zis is far beyond ze bounds of a test. I would consider it a personal favour if you were to assist, but if you chose not to, I won't let zat choice impact your results for ze evaluation.""That's fair of you," Guy said. "I'm in, however.""As am I," Harrison added.Hannah was nodding fast, a smile firmly in place. "This is what I joined the guild for!" she said.Next to her, Davis sighed. "I'll come along too, to keep Hannah here safe."Jake and Kerri glanced at each other, then they shrugged. "I'll make for a good story later," Kerri said.I smiled from ear to ear. "Thank you," I said. "Really. I appreciate it. Now... Jean-Pierre, you probably know more about this kind of situation than we do.""Do you know where this camp is, exactly?" he asked."We have rough directions," I said."I can scout ahead," Calamity suggested. "As long as everyone here keeps to the road and walks slowly, I can make it to the camp, circle around it from afar, then get back to you all.""That's dangerous," I said. He'd be alone, near the baddies, and we didn't know if they'd installed traps and such around their camp.Calamity shook his head. "I'm a hunter. This is hunting. Different prey than usual, but not so different that my skills won't help. Let me handle this one, Captain. N'ya don't have to worry about me."I'd probably worry anyway, but Calamity was probably right, this was something he was suited to do."Alright. Should we head out now?""Everyone, we're dropping any gear we don't need alongside ze road. We can cover it up and come back for it later," Jean-Pierre said. "We want to move light and fast and be ready to fight at a moment's notice."That seemed like a good idea. Everyone stashed their stuff onto a tarp that Hannah had in her overstuffed backpack, then it was pushed under a bush where it would be harder to spot. Someone tied some ribbons in a nearby tree, so we'd still know where the stuff was on the return trip.Then we started heading out. Calamity jogged out ahead, then slipping into the forest and basically disappeared from sight.We continued after him, though we kept to the road. "Alright," I said. "I think... Jean-Pierre, did you want to take charge of the, ah, attack?"Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel."I'd rather not," he said. "I don't have any leadership skills.""Oh," I replied. Which meant... yeah, it was my job. "Okay then. Jean-Pierre, who would you say is the best scout in the group, after yourself and Calamity?"Jean-Pierre glanced back. "Davis and Hannah are both closer to rogues zan most. But zey're not used to forests and swamps. With zat in mind, I suspect Harrison is ze most experienced after Calamity.""Alright. So, once we get to the camp, I'd like for you to go..." I paused as I considered things. The road would be... more or less to the right of us if we went off-road to hit that camp from the side. "Go right, not too far, but a little ways. Harrison, do you mind going left?""Fine by me," he replied."Awen, you and Kerri and Guywill provide ranged fire, I think. Guy's blunderbuss is, uh, loud, so don't fire that until they know we're there. And only if they're very dangerous and hostile! Ideally, we can win without anyone getting hurt."Jean-Pierre nodded. "If we injure zem and it turns out we were wrong and zey're innocent, zen we could land ourselves in severe trouble with ze law. I would advise caution before using heavy force."I wasn't thinking of the legal stuff, more the... common decency stuff, but that was a fair point. "Yeah, since we're acting to save an innocent, we probably have significant leeway, but I'd rather not test that, let's try not to hurt anyone too much. That being said, if your life is in danger, do whatever you need to defend yourself."I got a bunch of half-hearted nods. That was good enough."And the rest of us?" Jake asked."Hannah, Davis, Jake and I will be the melee group," I said. "Hannah, Davis, you have a bit less experience in a fight, right, so, uh, keep the flanks safe.""Got it, captain," Hannah said."Can do," Davis replied.I nodded seriously. "Alright everyone, you have your roles. Our mission is to save Booksie, a bun woman of about my size, with brown eyes, brown hair, and brown ears. She ought to be the only bun woman in the camp. The enemy is about a dozen ne'er-do-wells. We will fight them only if they obstruct our rescue." I glanced across my impromptu troops. "If you understand, say 'Yes!'""Yes!" they all chorused back to me."Okay! I think that's probably not the most complicated plan I've come up with, but it's something. Let's do our best, everyone." It wasn't a great plan, but I'd be at the front. If anyone on our side got hurt, it would be me before anyone else.Congratulations! Chivalry is now Rank E!Oh! That was exciting! Had I done something chivalrous? Or had I thought something knightly? In either case, I was pretty happy with the result. It wasn't a huge boost, but if we were going to be in any sort of scuffle, then I'd take the bump!Would saving Booksie count as a chivalrous action? She was technically a princess, and saving those was entirely in-line with what a knight would do."Broc?" Awen said.I jumped. "Huh?" I asked."Are you okay? You were staring and giggling?""Oh, uh, just thinking," I said. It wasn't the time to look silly, not when I had so many people to lead and help.We moved just a bit further down the road when Calamity popped out of the woods and jogged over. We all came to a stop, then Calamity gestured to the side, a finger over his mouth.When we were all in the woods, Calamity gestured us closer. "Took longer to circle the camp than I thought it would," he said, voice pitched low. We could all hear, I think, but he wasn't making any effort to speak up."What's it look like? Is it close?""It's going to be interesting, I'll say that much," Calamity said. "Looks like a proper bandit camp, Captain. Half a dozen small tents, a big pavilion tent, and a cave.""A... cave?""You know, a hole in the ground?" Calamity asked. "They've got one.""Is it a big one?"He shook his head. "Not from what I can tell. Especially not with the area being so swampy. There's a small ridge back there. Hard to see with all the brush. The camp's nestled into it. There's a creek that runs by too, right in the middle of the camp. Barely a trickle, but I bet it's enough for them. Then the cave, it's dug into the ridge.""It won't be deep," Jean-Pierre said. "Not unless it's filled with water. Still, a natural or unnatural cave will give zem a strongpoint zat will be hard for us to attack."That would make things a lot more complicated. But I was sure we could manage it!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Five — Charge of the Bun's Brigade
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Five — Charge of the Bun's Brigade The first step in our plan was sneaking up to the camp, which was made easier by the campers' lackadaisical behaviour.We approached vaguely from the direction of the road, but not via the path that they'd set up.Calamity had taken a minute or two to draw a map of the camp on the ground before we left. There were the tents, the cave,and a path that lead from the camp back to the road, following a straight line until it turned to connect to the road at a forty-five-degree angle. It kinda looked like a hockey stick.Jean-Pierre said that it was to stop anyone from looking down the cleared path and right into the camp. If you weren't specifically looking for it, the angled path would just look like a deer trail.That was clever, and it suggested that there was at least one person in the camp that was a woodsman, or someone with skills to help them in a forest like this one. That could mean traps, which was something we confirmed soon enough.Walking down the path directly into camp would be silly. Calamity reported that they were watching that direction closely. So we came in from the side, which meant pushing through the brush which was where we discovered a trap.Or Hannah did, by stumbling right into it.She hissed, stumbling back as something snapped and tried to chop at her leg.Everyone stopped. "Stay right where you are," Calamity whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear. He gestured for everyone to stay low, so I crouched down a little. Hannah wasn't so far that I couldn't see her.Calamity came up, then ripped something out of the bush after inspecting it. It was a stick, with some ropes and a few sharpened stakes tied to it. From the looks of it, the trap was meant to keep the stick under tension, and when Hannah triggered it, the whole thing swung out towards her legs, stakes-first.She'd dodged it, barely. That could have been pretty bad if it had hit."We're moving in single-file," Calamity decided. "This is a hunter trap, meant for small game. At worst it could break something's leg.""Do you think there are more?" I asked."Likely," he said. "I can't tell if the intent is to trap animals, or if it's meant as an early warning or a trap for people doing exactly what we're doing.""Both," Jean-Pierre said. "They need to eat as much as anyone. If it was purely an early-warning, then there would be something to make noise along with the trap."Calamity nodded. "A couple of tin cans hung on a branch up a tree, linked to the trap by some string, and every person within a league would know that something was coming. This is... not shoddy work, but not exactly well-planned either.""Makeshift," Awen said.We formed up in single-file. My plan of having everyone spread out to hit the camp all from one side didn't seem like it would work out as well as I wanted. We'd have to make due.We continued, following Calamity and Jean-Pierre who cleared out a couple more traps, delicately dismantling them. The further we went, the more complex the traps grew. At first it was all tension traps. A small cord or string that would launch a stick at someone's legs. Later on, we found pits dug into the ground with swivel-panels above them. When pressed down, the panel would flip, revealing a bunch of sharpened stakes meant to grab at someone's leg, with more stakes at the bottom of the holes.I shuddered as I imagined a foot getting caught in there.Finally, after almost an hour crossing the same distance we could have covered in ten minutes, Calamity raised a fist over his head, and we all leaned in closer. "We're close," he whispered. "Jean-Pierre and I will scout ahead. Get ready."I nodded. "Everyone, weapons out," I added in a whisper. "Remember, we don't want to hurt anyone if we can avoid it, but I don't think these are the nicest sorts of people.""If it's us or them, then we pick us," Guy murmured.He was right, even if I didn't exactly like it.It only took a minute for the scouts to return. "Alright," Calamity said. "Good news and bad."You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story."Bad first," I said.He nodded. "They're on alert. The camp's being patrolled, from the inside, and other than one guy cooking, everyone is standing sentry. They have gambesons and short spears, a few have crossbows."I winced. That was pretty bad. "And the good news?" I asked."There's only six of them out of the cave," he said. "And three are at the far end of camp. We ended up trailing west a little. They're mostly guarding the road.""Alright," I said. "Do they look tough?"Jean-Pierre shook his head. "I inspected them all, subtly. Most are in their first tier. Two in their second. I think, given time, I could pick them all off on my own, especially if it were dark out."I blinked, but then... yeah, that kind of made sense. Sir Tissue was a senior member of the Exploration Guild. He probably had three classes already and most of those were probably classes centred on fighting and exploration and scouting. He was exactly the kind of person no one would want to fight in a forest at night.More importantly than skills and classes, there was experience. Jean-Pierre struck me as someone that was very experienced and knowledgeable. This was not his first ambush, I bet."In the interest of, uh, making sure the mission comes first," I whispered. "Can you take the brunt of the work?"He frowned, then nodded. "I'll take the three by the far end of the camp."Which left three more of the remaining nine for us. I liked those odds a whole heap more. "We'll secure the entrance of the cave and the other three. The goal is to secure the camp first, and prevent anyone from escaping the cave. We'll deal with whatever's in there once we have the camp."I looked around and got a bunch of nods.Quickly, we refined our plans.Before I knew it, I was a dozen metres closer to the camp, so close that I could smell the lingering campfire smoke and hear the shuffling feet of the guards. Two of them were chatting about, of all things, the taste of tree bark. One of them was trying to convince the other that pine bark could be used to make bread.It was a weird discussion to stumble into, given the circumstances. Then again, I didn't know what to expect to hear from them. Maybe something evil and sinister? How to best abandon friends and steal from babies?"Go!" I snapped, giving the signal for everyone to move.Unfortunately, only a few of us were stealthy enough to sneak up right to the edge of camp. That meant we had to launch our attack from some distance away.So I rushed out from behind a bush, ran past a dozen trees, then burst into the camp ahead of two surprised guards.They were quick to act though, levelling spears at me even as they shouted a warning.I jumped, spade swinging down to smack against the head of a spear even as it started to rise, then I spun on myself and landed on my feet behind the two. They both turned to face me, which was a mistake.Hannah and Davis rushed out of the woods behind them, and before they could turn, the pair of them were being bonked aside and slammed to the ground.I glanced to the side. The third guard we needed to take out was crashing to the floor already, Harrison pinning him in place while Guy moved past and dropped to a knee, blunderbus coming up.Awen positioned herself at the edge of the clearing and her crossbow twanged. The grenoil at the cooking station yowled as his pot of stew came crashing down and spilled hot juices all across his legs.He went down in a heap as Calamity tripped him on the way by.The other two were down already, Jean-Pierre in the middle of them, looking like he'd barely moved while the guards flopped to the ground."Secure the cave!" I barked. "Tie these guys up, and toss their weapons away."A moment later, we were dragging the guards towards the middle of the camp while Jake and Hannah worked to tie their wrists and ankles together. Kerri was by the cave's entrance, working some sort of bard magic to muffle any noise we made, though it was probably too late for that.Still, we'd gotten the first part done. Now to save Booksie!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Six — Booksie's Angels
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Six — Booksie's Angels The guards and the cook were secured with lengths of rope that had, until very recently, been holding up the camp's tents. They were gagged too, especially after one of them started to scream out details about us towards the cave.Their gear was confiscated. I expected us to make a pile of it to one side, but instead, Hannah had let the others take their pick of spears and machetes and knives, then she grabbed the pile and carried it over to the latrines off to one side of the camp.She made a face as she pulled off the board on top of the latrine, then dumped all of the weapons we wouldn't be using within.I... found that kind of very gross, but also it did make it so that no one would be using those against us anytime soon.My team surrounded the cave entrance, with Awen and Calamity both aiming bows into the cavern's darkness, ready to stick anyone that came out with quarrel or bolt.There was movement within the cave. At a glance, it looked like it went down a few paces, then turned towards the right. There was light spilling out from around the corner. It was too steady and white to be torchlight, so someone was probably using magic down there to light things up."I zink we're secured," Jean-Pierre said as he returned from making a quick sweep of the surroundings. "Now for ze hard part.""You think getting Booksie out of the cave will be hard?" I asked.He nodded. "Might be. We don't know numbers, zey know we're coming. The passage is tight. Our numbers advantage won't be worth much in zere. But we do have time on our side, assuming zere isn't an exit to ze tunnel somewhere else.""Haven't noticed any," Calamity said. His ears twitched. "And I've been paying attention. I can't tell how many are down there, but I'm thinking it's no more than five, and that number hasn't changed. If there's a second exit to the tunnel, then they haven't used it."Jean-Pierre nodded along. "Zey're stuck. Like a rabbit in a warren."I felt my ears twitch at the comparison. "So, our options now are to wait them out-which I don't like because it means spending more time out here where things could go wrong-pushing in to fight them in the cave, or the third option.""Third option?" Gus asked from nearby.I nodded, then walked over to the entrance of the cave. I cleared my throat, aware that I had a bit of an audience beyond just the people in the cave. "Hello!" I called out, hands cupped around my mouth to better project my voice.There was some commotion in the cave, so I figured they'd heard me, at least a little."My name is Captain Bunch, of the Exploration Guild. We're here to investigate something. Please come out with your arms raised and your weapons dropped. We don't want to hurt anyone."There was a small scuffle within, then I heard someone approaching the corner. "I can hardly trust anything you say, now can I? How do I know zat zis isn't a trap?" a grenoil asked. I could just make out their shadow on the cavern wall, squat and rotund, so definitely a grenoil.I pulled my pin free from my bandoleer, then tossed it underhand so that it landed close to the corner.A hand darted out and picked it up. "Is that enough proof?" I asked."It proves nothing," he muttered. "You could have stolen a guild pin off of anyone. Why are you attacking our camp? We have a legal right to be here.""Can we talk to the bun you kidnapped?" I asked politely. "We'd like to know that they're safe, and whether or not you had a legal right to kidnap them."There was a long, long stretch of silence after that. "You don't know zat we did anything of ze sort," he said."If you let us make sure that everyone in your camp is here of their own free will, then we'll leave and be very, very sorry about all of this."Was it wrong to hope that they were kidnappers? Because if they weren't, then we had just attacked a camp of innocents. Very suspicious innocents, but still. There probably weren't any laws against camping in the woods over here, as far as I knew. This territory was ostensibly owned by Deepmarsh, but it was also a frontier, with few laws and regulations.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story."We won't bow down to your orders," the grenoil said. "Go away.""Um... no?" I tried. "We'd really rather not have to go down there and get you. Or wait you out. If you did kidnap Booksie, then... uh, you do know that she's the fiance of a dragon, right? If you have any friends or family in Port Royal, then it would be really nice of you to let her go. Um. For their safety. Not — not that I'm threatening you! But, well, I can't exactly stop Rhawrexdee from ... you understand, right?""How did you even find us?" he asked."We, uh... have our ways," I said, mostly because that sounded a heap better than 'it was all a coincidence, actually.' "Could you let Booksie go, please?""If-and it's a big if-we let ze bun prisoner go-" he asked, then was cut off.I saw the grenoil's shadow peel away from the wall and step back, and there was a hushed conversation that I couldn't pick out, even with my ears ram-rod straight."Sounds like he's arguing with two others," Calamity murmured. His eyes narrowed and he leaned forwards a little. "One of them is against giving us 'the bun' because it would mean giving away their only leverage. Another wants to give us the 'other weird one' because that'll still give them a bargaining chip.""The other weird one?" I asked.Calamity shrugged without looking away from the cave's entrance. "Beats me.""Are you sure he's the leader?" Harrison asked."He's got that vibe. You know, the person in charge who really should stick to running a desk instead of fieldwork?" A lot of the group nodded at Calamity's assessment. "They're coming back.""Hello!" I called out as I saw the shadow return."Hey," the grenoil said. He sounded a little defeated. "We can't give you ze bun, we have a contract. But we could give you ze other prisoner.""Uh... I mean, we'll free them too," I said , because what else could I say? "But we're also taking Booksie. And if you hurt her any more than you have, then... I'll be very upset."The grenoil didn't say anything for a long moment. "You really think you can just come in here and take us on?" he asked. He was making an effort to sound tough."I mean, probably?" I said. "There's more of us than you, and we have some senior members of the Guild here." 'Some' might have been a slight exaggeration. "How many of you down there have more than two classes?""Uh," he said. I noticed his shadow shifting, as if looking back. His arms waved a bit, and it looked like he was gesturing to his buddies in a sort of 'what do you expect me to do' kind of way."Look, mister... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.""Zat's because I didn't give it to you," he said."Okay, that's fair. Look, if you surrender, we'll let the guards know that you weren't so bad. I'm sure they'll be much nicer than if we have to go down there and fight you to free the prisoners. And if the people you kidnapped are hurt... I... I don't know." I swallowed. Maybe I wasn't cut out for this hostage-negotiation stuff.There was more harsh whispering in the cave, then Calamity's eyebrows shot up a moment after I heard a smacking noise."I think someone just punched someone else," he said.I picked up my spade, the point having been stuck into the earth. "Booksie?" I asked."No, I think their boss," he said.Someone stepped out into the light at the cave's entrance. He was a grenoil man, dressed in a gambeson with scale-mail over his upper chest. He had his arms raised. "Alright, I surrender," he said.He walked out, then so did two more grenoil, dragging a third behind him who looked like he was going to have a real shiner in the morning. His eye was already swelling shut from where someone smacked him.We disarmed the grenoil, then gently made them kneel to one side.Jean-Pierre, Calamity and I went into the cave.It stank of sweat, and was uncomfortably damp, and not all that big. The main room just a curve in was maybe three times the size of my bedroom on the Beaver.There were two figures in the back of the room, with sackcloth bags on their heads. One of them was immediately recognizable, even with the bag."Booksie!" I shouted.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Two for the Price of One
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Two for the Price of One The moment I called out Booksie's name, her head popped up, and her ears started wiggling under the cloth bag over her head.I knelt down next to her, aware of the other tied-up person to her right, but for the moment more preoccupied with Booksie herself. "One sec, don't move. I'm gonna take the bag off," I said, voice low and calm so that I wouldn't scare her.I reached over, then untied the bottom of the bag before tugging it off of her head. Her ears flopped as the bag finally came off, and it looked like Booksie had a pretty bad hair-day under there."Bhoholi!" Booksie said through the gag in her mouth. She was blinking blearily, trying to take me in despite the poor lighting of the cave.Someone came up behind me with a magic light, and I was able to make out her features a little better. Booksie looked like she had a big bruise around one eye, and some pretty bad scrapes across her face. Was that from the rough material of the sack rubbing against her?I hugged her, arms wrapping around her shoulders and her head pressed against my neck. "Booksie!" I said. It came out as a bit of a sob. But it wasn't time for crying just yet. I pulled back, aware that she couldn't return the hug with her arms tied. "Gimme another sec," I said as I turned.The person behind me was Awen, and she looked as concerned as I felt. "Here," she said as she pulled out a small knife from under her coat.I accepted it, then carefully sliced off the rope serving as a gag from Bookie's mouth. "Broccoli!" Booksie said. "You came!""Yeah! The moment I saw you weren't at home and that someone had taken you, we started to search. I think half the city's in a tizzy looking for you," I said with a watery grin. "Come on, lean to the side a little, I'll cut you loose."Booksie did as I asked, and the moment she was free her arms were around me and she was holding me very close. "Thank you," she said with a little sniffle."Anytime," I replied as I returned the hug.Booksie was not one for crying, not when there was something she could do. She started to stand, wobbled a bit, then asked for the knife I had and used it to cut the bindings around her ankles free. "If I catch the jerks that caught me, I'll beat them to a pulp," she said."Uh. They're mostly tied up outside, I think," I said."Oh, good, they won't be able to fight back."I was pretty sure that beating up prisoners was an actual crime. "Maybe let us question them first?" I asked. "We'll want to know why they captured you and everything, right?""Hmph," Booksie said. She looked a bit upset, so I carefully took the knife back and gave her another hug."Want to give me a moment? I think we should free, uh, her too?" I gestured to the other prisoner still sitting on the ground. They shook their head and made some muffled noise too. "Sorry," I said. "Here, hold still."I carefully removed the sack from their head, then smiled as their face came into view.She was a young-ish woman, maybe a year or two older than me, with reddish hair and two big, triangular ears on her head. Not cat ears, or dog ears but something similar. I didn't know exactly what she was, other than very angry."Okay, one sec," I said as I tugged on the gag they were wearing. It was on much tighter than Booksies, and she had clearly been trying to gnaw her way through the rope, long fangs working away at the rope.I took the knife and very carefully cut the rope free."Pwah!" she said, tongue sticking out as she worked her jaw. "Verily, I say to thee, that was most intolerable!""Oh, I'm glad you're free," I said. "Can you lean forwards? I need to cut the ropes around your arms."The girl narrowed her eyes. "I shall permit you to touch my person, small long-eared person."Small? I thought I was at least her size. Out loud, I tried "Okay?" I touched her shoulder and helped her sit up so that I could undo the ropes holding her hands together at the small of her back.Her hands, and a very long, very fluffy tail which immediately whipped out once free and started to rub itself across my face.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon."Foolish tail! Return to me at once. Your disobedience will be noted when it comes time to brush your luxurious length!" She grabbed her tail and forced it close to her chest where she hugged it. "Forgive me, small long-eared one, my tails are most disobedient! These ruffians who captured my person dared to suggest that my tails ought to be removed! The fiends!""Oh. that's awful! No one should threaten someone with something like that," I said."Indeed!" She nodded her head very hard, ears bouncing back and forth with the motion. "Perhaps I ought to chop off their own tails in retaliation!"I helped her out of the ropes holding her legs together, then returned the knife to Awen and helped the girl up. "My name's Broccoli," I said. "Broccoli Bunch. I'm glad we were able to save you too!""I shall grace you with my name. Broccoli Broccoli Bunch! I am Desiree Chartreuse the All-Powerful!" She stood taller and straighter, which made it very obvious that she only reached up to my chin."Uh, it's nice to meet you," I said before glancing to Booksie. The bun was still rubbing at her wrists where the rope had dug into her skin a little. "We should go outside. Get both of you some fresh air."Awen tugged a canteen free from her belt and handed it to Booksie, who gratefully gulped down water before giving it to Desiree.Desiree blinked, then shrugged. "I shall partake of this," she declared before unscrewing the cap and taking a sip, then another, then tossing the can back and swallowing. "The ruffians didn't feed me," she said as she lowered the canteen."They didn't?" I asked."The fools! When they attempted to feed me, I partook of their fingers! No one will feed me table scraps and expect no retribution!""I'll admit, I'm a little hungry too," Booksie said. "Weird, how can I be hungry after... everything.""I think it's kinda normal," I said. "Come on, there's a team from the Exploration Guild above. I'm sure someone brought some field rations. Uh, I'm sorry, Miss Chartreuse. I don't think they'll be very tasty.""Hmph, better than the vile gruel these scoundrels tried to feed me," she muttered.I nodded, then shared a quick look with Awen. She seemed to be on the same page as me about Miss Chartreuse. This girl was weird.It wasn't far to the entrance of the cave. Booksie shielded her eyes with her ears and I found myself squinting a bit against the sunlight as well. The Exploration Guild recruits had captured the last couple of bandits and they were all lined up nice and neat in the middle of the camp, a good amount of space between all of them so that they wouldn't try anything, and their hands tied behind their backs."Muahahaha!" Miss Charterous cackled. "Look at how lowly you've become! Grovel before my unshackled might, you foolish hooligans!"The Exploration guild team looked at her, then back to me, and I shrugged. "She was a prisoner as well," I said. "Let her, uh, do her thing, I guess. Miss Chartreuse, please don't hurt the... hooligans. I think they're technically our prisoners now, and it's probably illegal to harm them.""Hmph! I shall stay my hand for now, Broccoli Broccoli Bunch."Jean-Pierre came over and nodded politely to Booksie. "Glad to see you well," he said. "Zis will... need reporting, I zink.""We should send someone ahead. Let the guild know to call off the search. And Amaryllis should know too. And Cholondee... and Caprica. Oh boy, it's going to be a lot of work to call everyone off.""I'm sorry," Booksie said in a small voice."Oh no!" I replied before engulfing her in a hug. "You're not allowed to apologise. It's not your fault. It's these meanies' fault for kidnapping you in the first place.""That's right," Miss Chartreuse said. "Don't allow the idiocy of others to stain your own good behaviour."That wasn't quite what I meant, but it was close enough."I think I can run ahead," Calamity said. "If'n you're all done needing me for the moment. I can run on over to the Guild, let the old lady there know, then check in on Caprica if she's still at the embassy. Then Amaryllis, if I can find her.""That's a fantastic idea," I said. "And in the meantime, we can herd this bunch over to the outpost and start asking some questions."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Tails from a Faraway Land
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Tails from a Faraway Land With Calamity running ahead to warn everyone in Port Royal, that left the rest of us to escort our prisoners.Jean-Pierre took charge of that. He had those of us with ranged weapons at the back, then spread the rest out around the line of prisoners. The threat was implicit. If one of them tried to run, then Awen or Gus might let loose with bolt or shot. The rest were mostly there to keep the formation movingOur pace was slow, so, it would take a while before we reached Rockstack, which was where we were heading. Port Royal might have been better suited to taking care of prisoners, but the city was a long walk away at such a slow pace. So we'd go to Rockstack, then teleport back up to the city.We'd have to hope that the outpost could handle a dozen very naughty people in their cells.In the meantime, I had a friend and a... maybe new friend, to comfort."I'm sorry about what happened," I said as I kept an arm wrapped around Booksie's back. She didn't seem to mind, and was walking while leaning into me. It wasn't the ideal hug, but it was the best we could manage while walking."It's hardly your fault," Booksie said."Indeed!" Desiree said. "It's undoubtedly the fault of these brainless scoundrelous fools that you've come to suffer!" She gestured grandly to the prisoners. "Are you certain that I cannot inflict some pain unto them? I will leave them alive to suffer the legal consequences of their vile actions!""I'm sure," I said, trying to be simultaneously firm and understanding.I wasn't sure if Desiree was acting this way because she was trying to help distract Booksie, but if she was, she was doing a pretty good job of it."Were you, ah, there when Booksie arrived?" I asked.Desiree sniffed. "I have been their captive for long eons! Time immemorial!"One of the guys we'd captured near the back of the formation twisted his head around. "Three days," he corrected with a dull voice."Long days and longer nights! Left without food or drink!" she continued."We fed her. At least until she bit some guy's finger clean off. We had to use potions to reattach it," he corrected again."My treatment was most horrendous! The very material of nightmares! I suspect they wished to experiment upon my person, perhaps cut off my luxurious tails and use them as fanciful scarves!""I legitimately don't know what she's on about," the guy said."Tails?" I asked.Desiree blinked, then looked at me. "Ah, yes, you're one of those pitiful tail-less beings. Observe the fluffiness of my tails! The lustre of my fur, even abused and untended for days, it is magnificent!" She swished her tail at me, then her tail suddenly split."Whoa!" I said as I was smothered in fluff. "You do have two tails!"Desiree pulled her tails back, then they started wagging in counterpoint to each other. "Of course. I'm not some young one-tailed kit.""Is two tails... normal for your, uh, species?" I asked."As long as one is powerful enough, yes," she said. "My grandfather had three tails on reaching his third class, and I have an ancestor that is rumoured to have had five spectacular tails!"Oh, so she grew a new tail with every new class? That would mean that she had two classes, just like my friends and I! That must have been an interesting culture to be part of, where one's strength was measured in tails."We have tails too, you know," Booksie said."You... do?" Desiree asked. She squinted at us, slowing her walk down so that she fell back a little and twisting her head to the side as she observed our behinds. I almost felt like covering myself with my hands. "Oh! That pitiful nub! Did some foul monster chop your tail off?""No, buns just have small tails," I said with a wiggle of mine. I was still not used to it, even less than the ears. My tail was more of an afterthought, really. I kept it clean, of course, but it was just a small bundle of fluff at the base of my spine. "I don't think we get extra tails as we level up.""Not that I'm aware," Booksie agreed. "I think some buns grow bigger and longer ears, but that's very class-dependent.""Ears?" Desiree said. She squinted up at the tops of our heads, then reached up and tugged on one of her own triangular ears. They were kinda big, but not nearly as big as bun ears could be. "I suppose that's an acceptable replacement, if somewhat inferior to a good tail."Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit."So, are you like a nine-tailed kitsune, then?" I asked. "I vaguely remember stories about nine-tailed foxes.""N-nine tails?" Desiree repeated. "Do not exaggerate so much, long-eared bun! Nine is far too many. Observe my well-earned pride over two graceful tails. Nine is a far greater number and would only be acceptable for the most powerful of beings!""Oh, sorry," I said.Desiree dismissed my apology with a wave of her hand. "Nonsense. You're merely speaking from ignorance. We are not kitsune, we are kitsu. A simple mistake to make.""Where are you from?" Booksie asked. "I don't recall hearing much about fox-people... you are fox-people?""I am!" Desiree said with obvious pride. "I am from the south.""We are... about as far south on the continent as you can be," Booksie said. "There's Fort Tempete on the southern coast, I guess. If you travel all the way down along the Darkwoods.""No no, I came across the ocean," Desiree said. "It was a harrowing journey, with many risks and great dangers!""Oh! Are you an explorer then?""Hmph! As if one needs such a title to wish to see the wider world! I am a proud wanderer. My home is the world itself. I will grow powerful, defeat many monsters, explore and plunder many dungeons, and return to my home with many tails and tales of my great exploits!"That did sound like a lot of fun, actually. I could hardly wait. "How did you end up captured?""Duplicity and vile trickery!" Desiree seethed."The boss heard about her," the guy at the back of the line of prisoners said. "Then all we had to do was offer her some food... in our hidden cave, away from the city.""As I said, vile trickery and deceitful double-dealing!" Desiree said. Her tails swished angrily behind her. She flipped one of them around and hugged it close, the way someone might hug a pillow, or a soft teddy bear. "How cruel the people of this continent are, to trick innocent, beautiful, intelligent, majestic foxgirls just minding their own business.""Uh, that does sound awful," I said. "But you're free now. I'm sure we can bring you to Port Royal, at the very least. Have you been there before?""I have not," she said primly. "I like the name. Are there many ships there?""Yup! Mostly... all airships""Ah, those massive flying contraptions! There are no such things in my home. No one there is fool enough to surrender the safety of their solid footing upon the earth. What sort of incompetent would try to make a ship fly in the skies rather than flow through the waters as it ought?""I'm an airship captain," I said.Desiree blinked, and one of her tails moved over and patted me on the shoulder. "And a very brave and glorious captain you are. Though I wonder, do buns fly?""I can fall very well," I said.Booksie giggled, and I grinned. She'd laughed! That was a fantastic first step towards restoring her good mood, plus it was just a nice sound to hear."Ah, sorry," Booksie said as she placed a hand over her mouth. "That caught me off guard.""Don't apologise," I said. "It's okay. Are you feeling any better?"She nodded."Do you want to talk about it?"Booksie shrugged. "There's not too much to talk about. I was woken up by the door splintering open. I was barely awake when someone shoved a sack over my head, then I was tied up. I kicked over a few things, and I think I sent someone crashing into some stuff... oh, my house will be a mess... anyway, the next thing I knew I was outside and tossed into a cart and my hands were tied. Then we were moving out of the city. The only change was when I left the lower gates. I was picked up and carried on someone's shoulders then.""Oh no," I said as she touched her tummy."It's fine. Bruises will fade. But...""But?" I asked leadingly."But I think I'll be taking Rhawr up on his offer to become stronger. He mentioned me joining him on a few hunts. The sort of thing that would give me enough experience, even shared, to catapult myself up a few levels. I think being stronger might not hurt."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Plopped Back
Chapter Four Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Plopped Back We made it to the outpost in due time, and I think we surprised the locals.The two guards by the gate saw us coming from afar, then saw all the people we were escorting. It didn't take long for one of them to start running our way."I think I need to chat with him," I said."Go on, kindly long-eared one. Do your duty as leader of this unscrupulous lot of maiden-saviours!" Desiree said."Uh, okay," I said before I jogged past the Exploration guild people and our line-up of bandits. I met the guard with a friendly wave and a friendlier smile. "Hello!""Hello again," he said before he paused and adjusted his belt. "Zat's a mighty big lot of people you've found zere. Folk with zeir hands all tied up, too. Do you mind me asking what's going on?""Right, it's a bit of a long story," I said. "But I came out here looking for Sir Tissue, that's the Exploration Guild grenoil over there. He was to help us find ur friend, a bun woman named Booksie, who was kidnapped out of Port Royal. I directed him back to the exploration guild, but he couldn't leave his recruits behind, so once he was on his way, I hurried back. However, before I made it back to the teleportation point, you mentioned that supplier. After talking with him, we suspected that after Booksie was kidnapped, she had been brought to somewhere around here, so we went and got Sir Tissue to help, along with the Guild recruits he had with him, and we found Booksie, and another girl that were captive, and a bunch of bandits. So we kind of... forcefully tied them up. No one died though! And if they were injured, we gave them first aid."The guard grenoil blinked slowly a couple of times. "I zink I got all of zat," he said. "You know, I always heard stories of the Exploration Guild being a bit... much, but I never zought I'd see if for myself.""We're really sorry," I said. "Does Rockstack have a prison?""We have a guardhouse," he said. "Zere's a couple of cells, but mostly just for drunk delvers and local troublemakers. Zeir not used much here. And I don't zink we have room for all of zem.""Well, that might be a problem," I said. "These folks are kidnappers at the least. Hired bandits too. I think they might be a bit worse than the occasional drunk.""We have a stable," the guard said. "Let me run ahead, we'll wake ze guards for ze night rotation too, maybe turn zis into an all-hands-on-deck situation.""I'd appreciate it," I said. "Does Rockstack have anything like a detective? Or someone in law-enforcement with a class that's good for asking questions? I don't think any of us has something like that, and there's a lot that I'd like to know.""We can have someone like zat come down from Port Royal. We're going to need someone to come down. It's rare zat we have to send a ruffian back to ze city for proper judgement, but it happens. Usually we send a couple of guards up with some merchants and the prisoner, the same guards we'll be rotating out. But for zis many...""Yeah, it's more than you're used to, I get it," I said. "I'll see if any of our recruits mind staying back for the night. Will you be able to get a message out to Port Royal?""We can do that," he said. "We've got a mage that can send messages some distance. We'll have the cavalry riding on over before nightfall."That sounded good enough for me. Made sense that someone would have some sort of long-range communication going on. Though if it was uncommon, it probably needed a specific class or some training to work. Otherwise there wouldn't be a Courier's Guild anymore.I thanked the guard, then ran back to Jean-Pierre to give him the news. He agreed that the Exploration Guild could stick around for a while. Their mission today was supposed to last until the end of the dungeon, then they were meant to travel back to Rockstack in the evening, so technically they were here early.Staying until evening wasn't that big of a deal, then. Jean-Pierre said that he had some discretionary funds, enough to get everyone a warm meal at the Hop On Inn.We entered Rockstack, then with the help of a couple of freshly-awakened guards, shepherded the bandits into the stables. They weren't exactly jail-like, but there was a tall fence all around and room for all of them.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement."Ah, what now?" Awen asked me once they were all locked up."I... don't know. I guess I can try to see if Booksie and I can't teleport back to Port Royal? I'm sure they'll let us if we ask nicely.""I wouldn't mind going back home," Booksie said. She tugged her nightgown down a little, and I was acutely aware that at the moment, the only other thing she was wearing was socks. She hadn't complained at all during the walk, but maybe that was the post-saving adrenaline."I, also, wish to leave this place and its many bandits," Desiree said. "A person of my calibre shouldn't be left behind in such squalor!""Right, of course," I said. "Do... you have family around here? Friends? Anyone that can help you?" I asked.Desiree sniffed. "No."Well, that complicated things a little. Desiree spoke like she was well-educated, and she seemed pretty nice, but I was pretty sure that she didn't have any money on her, and if she didn't have anyone to help..."Okay, well, we can let you stay with us for a few days while you get your feet under you," I said.Maybe the Exploration Guild wouldn't mind taking her in? Or Booksie could use her as a helper in her shop? In any case, we'd help her out too, because abandoning someone was just not the friendly thing to do.I gave Awen a big, big hug, mostly because she didn't really have a good excuse to leave with us, so she'd have to stay with the recruits over here until it was time for them to go. "I'll see if I can't question the bandits," Awen said. "Some of them look like they might be willing to talk. Maybe if we offer them some better food.""You don't have to go that far," I said. "I'm sure someone will question them.""Yes, but we might not learn about it. Other than being Booksie's friends, we don't really have many ties to all of this," Awen said. "Trust me?"I blinked, then nodded. I did trust Awen, and I supposed that she was probably right. On paper, my friends and I really didn't have too much business with all of this. As far as the law was concerned, we probably didn't have much business being informed about any developments. Mathilde might be informed of. Cholondee probably had people around who'd be willing to share what they were told with her, but my friends and I didn't really have a finger on the pulse.Oh, unless Caprica asked? Even then, who would go and tell the Sylph embassy about anything?If we didn't work to stay in the loop, then we'd silently slip out of it, and then Booksie would get kidnapped again because the people in the loop were slower to act.I gave everyone a goodbye hug, even those who didn't look like they were used to hugs, then I gave Awen a second goodbye hug because she was one of my best friends. Then, with all the goodbyes said and done, I grabbed Booksie and Desiree's hands and pulled them along with me as we went to the local mage's office.It took a bit of explaining to get him to agree to teleport us back right away, as opposed to waiting until nightfall to go with the rest. I think he was ready to argue about it for a while, at least until Booksie started to complain about being cold. He relented almost right away after that, and with a powerful surge of magic, we were whisked away only to reappear within the Mage's Guild."How impressive," Desiree said as she looked around, then checked herself over. "Magic of this versatility ought to be far more common! No longer will noble souls have to trudge across the land, but instead, faithful magical servants will whisk them away unto faraway lands in a blink!""I'm just glad it didn't upset your tummy," I said."Hmph, as if my stomach would dare rebel against me! It is made of iron and steel and-" Desiree cut herself off as she emptied her tummy all over the floor.I was quick to flood Cleaning magic all over as Mage Procko ambled over, looking somewhat unimpressed. "I see zat you've made some friends. I don't zink zat ze teleportation circle has been used zis much in a while.""Hi sir, and I'm sorry. It was... several emergencies, all at once.""Zat is usually how it goes with emergencies. Trouble begets trouble, after all."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty — Speedrunners
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty — Speedrunners The Mage's Guild being just across the way from the Exploration Guild was a big win for us, because it meant we didn't have to go far.Still, almost the moment we stepped out of the Mage's Guild, Booksie hissed and leaned her weight to one side and off of her foot."Booksie?" I asked as I stopped. So did Desiree, the fox-girl's twin tails twitching worriedly. "Are you okay?"Booksie raised her foot from the ground, then twisted it around to see the sole of her foot. The skin was all torn up, littered with small angry red cuts that surrounded a long diagonal one that oozed blood. "Just... missing shoes," she said."Oh my gosh," I gasped as I bent forwards. "Booksie, your feet! Oh no." This was, undoubtedly, my fault. I should have noticed right away that she was without shoes. I had noticed, but Booksie didn't complain and I thought it was okay.But just because a friend wasn't complaining didn't mean they weren't hurting."I should've given you my shoes. I should've carried you!" I said. I Cleaned off her feet as best I could with some magic. Infections were no joke, and I felt awful already."It's fine, Broccoli," Booksie said. "You came and saved me, you didn't need to do anything more. My feet will heal up in a bit. I have some old healing potions at home.""But your feet are hurting now," I said. I glanced at my feet, then at Booksie's. My shoes probably wouldn't fit. "I'm sure they have potions and healers at the guild. Unless you want to go straight home?"Booksie sighed as she gingerly lowered her foot. "I would love to go back home, but... but that would be irresponsible. Let's head over to the guild. I'm sure people are worried and showing up might help with that.""Okay," I said. Then I scooped Booksie up, an arm under her knees and another around her back. She squeaked, then blinked and looked around."Well, this is different," she said."It's a princess carry," I said with a nod."Very appropriate," Desiree said. She was nodding too. Just in case, l looked down, to see if her feet were hurt, but she was wearing sturdy, well-made shoes that looked like they were made for long hikes.I adjusted my hold on Booksie. "Is this comfy?""It's not so bad," Booksie said. She shifted a bit, making herself comfortable. "But, ah, this is a little embarrassing. What if Rhawr saw me?""Who is this Rhawr you speak of?" Desiree asked."That's her fiance," I said. "He's a big blue dragon.""You wish to marry a dragon? How would that... hmm, well, perhaps you long-eared ones are more brave than I'd initially suspected. Is he going to be envious if he sees the good captain carrying you like a bride?"Booksie's cheeks reddened. "Well, I can hope," she said.I giggled, squeezing Booksie a bit since I couldn't properly hug her like this. "Come on, let's go see Mathilde. She's going to be very... very about all of this."We crossed the street, surprisingly only earning a few second glances. I supposed that of all the districts of Port Royal, this one had the highest density of strange people. I imagined that the locals were probably used to things, what with Abraham often hanging around this part of the city.The front doors of the Exploration Guild were propped open by a wooden block, and there were lots of voices mingling together within.I stepped up to the entrance and peeked inside. There were a ton more people than usual. Adventurers and explorers lined the walls, all geared up as if they were preparing to face the final boss of a big dungeon. Lots of grenoil, but plenty of other races too. Between the combat groups, support staff scurried around in a hurry.In the middle of it all, by the reception desk at the back, was Mathilde and Abraham, both of them in the centre of the storm."Looks like we might have kicked the hornet's nest," I muttered."Can you set me down?" Booksie asked. "I'd like to preserve what little dignity I have left."I nodded, set her down, then brushed my hands through her hair quickly to untangle it. Then I used a bit of Cleaning magic to make sure her nightdress was nice and tidy. "There! It's the best we can do, I think.""What is this place?" Desiree asked as she looked up at the building."Oh. This is the Exploration Guild. They're... explorers. For dungeons and stuff? They-we, I guess-make maps and check out dungeons and visit faraway places. There are parts of the guild scattered across a few countries."Desiree nodded along. "I know of no equivalent where I am from, but the principle is sound. Though, it seems like this kind of organisation would attract the foolhardy and the strong in equal measure."This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it."That sounds about right," I agreed. I gave Booksie's shoulder's a squeeze. "Ready?""Ready," she said.We stepped into the guild, and there was a hush as a few people paused-mid speaking. Their pause caused others to turn and look our way, which cut off even more conversations until an awkward hush filled the room. It was banished a moment later as murmurs started up.I walked with Booksie at my side and a curious and unphased Desiree tailing after us. "Hi Mathilde!" I said. "We found Booksie."The guild-leader sighed, but there was some tension that left her shoulders. "Yes. I can see that. Calamity stopped by to warn us, but it's good to see her with my own eyes. "Miss Booksie, I'm glad to see you safe.""Thank you," Booksie said. "Um, did you gather all these people to help?""Indeed," Mathilde said. "New as it might be for you, you are a person of interest to the city now. Your disappearance was... a cause for concern.""The catboy said you went on a little adventure," Abraham said. "Haha! Catching bandits red-handed and saving princesses! All in a day's work!""Who is this tail-less loud man?" Desiree muttered."I'm Abraha-"Mathilde smacked Abe's tummy with the back of her hand. "Go make yourself useful. The poor lady's in her nightclothes still. Find something for her.""Haha! I'll fetch my emergency trousers!"Mathilde gave a few orders to some of her staff, then gestured us forwards. "Come, we'll talk in my office."We followed after the grenoil lady, stepping into her office just behind her. "Will you be calling everything off?" I asked."No," she said.That threw me for a loop. I'd kinda just asked to make conversation; I didn't expect a flat no. "You won't?" I asked.Mathilde turned towards us once she was behind her desk. "It wouldn't be politically wise to call things off after so much capital was spent in the first place. You'll forgive me for saying so, Miss Booksie, but your kidnapping has set off quite the... kerfuffle."I gasped. Not a kerfuffle!"I'm sorry," Booksie said. "I'll sleep with a knife under my pillow from now on."Mathilde let out a breath that was suspiciously close to a chuckle. "Fair point. Still, even if this isn't your fault, it has cost the guild a lot. In order to save face, I intend to turn this gathering of our best and brightest into a manhunt. And for that, I need to know who ordered your kidnapping, and why it occurred.""I don't know," Booksie said. "I can speculate, but... well, I wasn't exactly in the best shape to have a polite discussion with the bandits that captured me.""I was."We all turned towards Desiree who stared, tails twitching at the end."Captain Bunch, who is this young woman?" Mathilde asked."Oh, this is Desiree Chartreuse. She was captured as well. We freed her when we freed Booksie," I explained."I was held for a tremendously long time. It was harrowing and horrifying in equal measure!" Desiree said. She looked particularly smug. "But my cunning intellect allowed me to listen as my captors plotted their evil schemes.""Hmm, you could tell us about them, then," Mathilde said."For a price," Desiree agreed. "I'm the most shrewd of negotiators, after all. I shan't let such an opportunity pass so easily!""You are aware that with the bandits captured as they are, we'll have plenty of opportunities to question them," Mathilde said."Ah, but time is passing on, and I have what you want now."Mathilde scoffed, but she gestured for Desiree to continue. "What's your price, then?""I wish to stay with the good captain! She has proven herself capable of combating vile bandits and their ilk, and her ears are most long and numerous."Mathilde looked to me, and I shrugged. "I... guess I don't mind. We have an extra room on the Beaver and we'll probably be staying with Booksie, at least until the marriage and maybe for a day or two more after. Beyond that, I don't really know what we'll be doing or where we'll be going.""Is that good enough?" Mathilde asked."It's perfectly acceptable," Desiree said. "Now, let me speak of the dire things I cunningly intercepted from our captors-they even let slip the identity of their cruel leader, the enigmatic and mysterious figure they only spoke of in hushed whispers."I had a bad feeling, all of a sudden."They named him Sir Rainnewt, and he was most interested in my capture!"
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-One — Motivating Factors
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-One — Motivating Factors The news that Rainnewt was involved hit me like a hammer to the solar plexus, and yet... I probably should have expected it. Kidnapping nice people was exactly the sort of not-nice stuff I'd expect out of a person like Rainnewt.Unfortunately, there wasn't much more Desiree could tell us.Rainewt hadn't shown up at the cave or camp while she was there. Not that she knew, in any case.She'd overheard them talking about him a little, but most of what she discovered was that Rainnewt paid very well and that the bandits were kind of greedy and also kind of lazy."If we can secure them in time, we'll be able to ask some probing questions," Mathilde said. "But I wouldn't rely on them.""The bandits?" I asked. "Or the questions.""Both. Rainnewt doesn't strike me as a fool. He will likely have some degree of compartmentalization in his operation. It would be idiotic of him not to. The bandits likely reported to someone, who reported to him. Or there might even be more links to the chain.""Then why use his real name?" Booksie asked.That was a great question. "By shapeshifting, he could have passed himself off as anyone. I don't think the average bandit has heard all about Rainnewt and his reputation."Mathilde frowned. "True. We can only speculate, but I imagine that reputation might play a large part in his schemes." At my confused look, she went on. "Captain Bunch, you and your friends have developed something of a reputation yourselves. If you were to show up at the capital on a mission from the guild, they'd certainly offer you more respect now than they would have months prior. The same might be true of Rainnewt. He's establishing himself as a contender on the national stage.""But as a bad guy," I said."As a person with few scruples and some amount of personal and financial power," Mathilde said, her tone suggesting it was a correction. "Certain people will flock to that kind of power. Unfortunately.""Oh," I said. That was... really unfortunate. I could recall a few people that had been swayed to Rainnewt's cause. If I could call his goals a cause. They weren't the nicest sorts of people."He's truly a cunning and conniving foe," Desiree said with a serious nod. "Even I would be tempted by the prospects of working with someone who has proven quite prodigious and powerful. When a three-tailed fox speaks, one does well to listen."I supposed that there was some credibility that came with being a world-renowned bad guy, but still. Why couldn't people just... not follow the obvious criminal?There was a knock at the door, and after Mathilde told the knock-er to enter, the secretary from the front came in with a bundle of clothes.Booksie took them gratefully, and I resisted the urge to Clean them right away. The only shoes were some sandals, but that was better than being barefoot, and there were socks too.Booksie pulled on a pair of pants that were obviously sized for men, tucked her nightgown into the pants, then cinched a belt on as tight as it would go around her waist. She looked... rather silly, and I had to hold back a giggle as she bent down and folded up the cuffs of the pants so that she could walk in them properly. "Thank you," she said to Mathilde. "It'll do until I get home, at least. Do you want me to return these?""Keep them, give them away, do as you want. We have a small stash of old gear that never sees any use," the guildmaster said with a dismissive wave. "I feel like I've gotten everything I could out of the three of you. Once the bandits are delivered to Port Royal, I'll see if I can't get an ear into their interrogation.""Will you keep us informed?" I asked.Mathilde frowned, then nodded. "You're involved, like it or not. It wouldn't be fair to keep you out of the loop at this point. So yes, you'll be informed about what we discover. I wouldn't bet on that being very much, however.""This whole marriage is turning into a mess," Booksie said with a sigh. "Maybe we should just elope?""That does sound very romantic," I said."A lot of important people intend to participate in the wedding," Mathilde said.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it."All the more reason to skip town, then," Booksie said. "Rhawr can just fly." She sighed. "But no. We won't let this Rainnewt guy win. And I did always want a proper wedding. I guess we'll just have to increase security to a level where we all feel safe, no matter what he plans.""That's reasonable," Mathilde said. "Of course, the Exploration Guild is already making moves to ensure that the wedding will be secure. Getting so many high-levelled individuals to cooperate is like herding cats, but I think it will be worth it.""Thank you," Booksie said. "Do you think I can go back home now?"Mathilde nodded. "Of course. You must be exhausted.""You can't imagine," Booksie said. "I didn't exactly get a full night's sleep. And I think the adrenaline wore off some time ago. Honestly, I could sleep standing up.""I have a member of the guild watching over your shop. I hope that's not too intrusive. We've noticed some... criminal elements around as well, though if I understood correctly, they're mostly aligned with your future sister-in-law, and are likely meant to be there.""Thank you," Booksie said. "For everything. I appreciate it."We said some final goodbyes before slipping out of Mathilde's nice office, then back through the main lobby, being scrutinised by a bunch of explorers, and finally we were out."Home?" I asked."Home," Booksie said."You could sleep over at the Beaver if you want," I said.She shook her head though. "No. I want my own bed. And I want to see the state of the shop as well. I might not be doing much business, but I am doing some. It'll be a shame if the shop's closed for any longer than it has to be."I nodded along. "I'll help you clean. Promise!"With that, the three of us ambled our way across Port Royal. Desiree's head was on a swivel, taking it all in while her tails wagged to and fro behind her. She was enjoying the walk, at least. Booksie was walking... well, she was putting one foot in front of the other, and when I wrapped an arm around her shoulder to give her some support, she was quick to lean into my side.We did make it to her place soon enough, and without being accosted, kidnapped, attacked, or otherwise bothered. I noticed a larger gathering of Cholondee's ruffians than before on one street corner, some guards on the other, and an assortment of adventurer-looking people casually spread out across the otherwise quiet street.None of them bothered us as Booksie slipped into the alley towards the back of her place. "I, ah, didn't take my keys with me," she explained. We came onto the backdoor, and Booksie sighed. "This is a mess," she said."Hey, it's not that bad," I said as I rubbed circles on her back. "A carpenter can fix all of this in no time.""I've seen greater damage from enthusiastic sparring. Fear not, long-eared friend, I'm certain that with some small effort your palatial home will be returned to its former splendour!"Booksie smiled. "Thank you," she said.We moved in, then I started picking things up right away. It looked as though a few more curious people had wandered in and poked around, but things didn't seem that much more out of place than they had been that morning.Booksie glared at the room, then she stomped over to her bedroom and shut the door. A couple of minutes later, while I was still sorting through things, she emerged in her own pants and blouse and with proper shoes on. "Sleep can wait," she said.I smiled. Yes, this would make her more tired later, but I figured that taking action would be much better for her mental health than just wallowing and being sad.Some twenty minutes into our cleaning, Booksie straightened, and her ears flicked upwards. "Oh," she said."Oh?" I asked.Then the whole building shook."Rhawr is here," she said.The next thing I knew, Booksie had bolted out the back door.When I followed after her, Desiree just behind me, I discovered Booksie with her front pressed up against a familiar dragon's face. Her arms couldn't even reach all the way around his neck, but she was hugging him anyway, and Rhawr was returning the favour, pressing a single digit into Booksie's back.I smiled. This was, without a doubt, worth all the trouble.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Two — Affection
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Two — Affection "At what point has a hug gone on for too long?" Desiree asked.We were both standing just outside of the back of Booksie's shop. Booksie herself was still wrapped around Rhawrexdee's face, and the dragon was gently rocking his head side to side, his big dragon eyes closed as Booksie hugged him."I don't understand?" I muttered."What don't you understand?" Desiree asked."How can a hug be too long?"Desiree shook her head, but her tails were wiggling their way in my direction. On a whim, I reached out and touched one of them, and it wrapped itself around my wrist.The foxgirl noticed and immediately flushed. "Fool tails," she muttered. "You appendages have no respect for your great master. Wandering off into the hands of another. Hmph! Most uncouth!" She tugged her tail back, but then the other one snaked around and pressed against my hand."I think your tails like pets," I said.Desiree pouted. "It's unfair," she said. "A kitsu's tails must submit to the will of their liege!" she glared at them, not that it seemed to do anything. "Hmph! Well. It ... it is said that it becomes significantly more difficult as the number of tails increase.""Really?" I asked."Do you have difficulties with your own tail?"I shook my head, then glanced at Booksie and Rhawrexdee. They were talking now. Booksie wiping a few tears away even as she giggled at something the dragon had murmured. "Let's go inside? We can keep picking up while Booksie has a chat.""That seems fair," Desiree said. "And it'll avoid the topic of your no-doubt unruly tail.""Oh," I said. "My tail's never been a problem." I wiggled my butt a little, the tiny white puffball shaking with the motion. "I mean, it gets in the way while sitting, and if I get pants I need to make sure they're suitable for tails, but otherwise it's not a problem. It does make it harder to sleep on my back, but I don't mind sleeping on my side.""How lucky," Desiree said."Ah, but my ears though, they're very unruly." I sighed as I gestured up. The right was kinked in the middle, as always. "I'm really envious of Booksie, her ears listen... uh, to her. I mean, all of my ears can listen, that's what ears are for." I tugged at the lobe of my human ears, then suddenly found myself leaning back as Desiree came close."Are those... fleshy human ears?" she asked."Yes?""That's horrific. Are they real?""Uh, yeah?""Why do you have four ears? That is too many ears. Unless these will grow long and furry as you gain more classes? Are they perchance nubs whereupon future ears will grow?"I shook my head. I didn't really mind her inspection. "No, I always had these. They're just... ears. I guess I might have pretty good echolocation, but it's nothing too special. I started off as a human and only became a Bun when I levelled, so these two are my originals.""Bizarre," she said."I guess it is a little weird," I admitted. "But that's just how it is. What about you? You only have the two ears?"Desiree nodded, then casually moved her hair aside, revealing that the side of her head was entirely smooth where I had my ears. Well, mostly smooth, there was hair there, of course, her hairline moving across the space where an ear would be. "This is how it should be," she said."Interesting," I said. I wondered for a moment if our brains were different, to make space for all of the hearing bits... then I wondered if mine had shifted to make room for more ear bits than I had before.Did my brain get squished at some point?Nah, I would have noticed, I was sure. "Want to help me pick up?" I asked. "Booksie's had a long day, it would be nice if she didn't have to worry about picking up and cleaning on top of everything else!""I am at your disposal! It is the duty of a companion to assist their allies and friends in times of need and distress!"Grinning, I started picking things up and tossing them in the trash. There was a lot of loose glass and broken furniture.We piled things off to one side, then I cleared a table and we stacked the fallen books onto it. I split them into two piles. One that just needed reshelving, and another that had books that were damaged. Someone rude had stepped on some fallen books, and there were some ripped pages that belonged to one book or another.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.Once everything was picked up, my Cleaning magic did away with any dust and mud between the floorboards.As time passed, our minds began to wander a bit. I caught the fox-girl pulling books from the shelves and looking them over before replacing them. She held a feather duster in a tail, so she wasn't being lazy, just... slow about work. But that was okay. I swept around the store, cleaning as I went and trying to make the place as neat as possible so that Booksie would have less work in the morning.After a while, the back door opened, and a smiling Booksie came in. "Oh!" she said as she looked around. "You finished picking up. You didn't have to; I would have gotten around to it.""No, it's fine," I said. "I hope we didn't disorganize things too much? I don't know what your book sorting system is, so we just piled them all there. Some are damaged."She tsked as she picked up one book that had its binding ripped up. "That's frustrating, but it's not the end of the world."The door behind Booksie swung open fully, and a large snoot stuck itself into the entrance. "They ruined the books?" Rhawrexdee asked, his voice making the entire room rumble.I noticed Desiree freezing, her tails puffing out like a startled animal. She'd been very quiet earlier as well. Was she afraid of Rhawrexdee? Or maybe dragons in general?"No Rhawr," Booksie said. "Just a few of them. Looks like they fell. Ah, this one will need to be rebound." She shook her head with a sigh. "Annoying, but I've had clumsy customers bump into shelves and cause more damage."Rhawrexdee backed up, then it was just his eye in the entrance. The big slitted pupil scanned the room, then paused on Desiree, then me. "Oh, it's the other bun. Broccoli?""Hello!" I said with a cheery wave. "It's nice to see you again!"The dragon nodded. "It is. You saved Booksie. My sister had to restrain me from burning the city with the fury of my electric anger. From the sounds of it, that wouldn't have been enough to find her in any case.""Uh, well, I'm glad it didn't come to that," I said."It didn't come to that because of your efforts," he said."Well, I had a lot of help. And a lot of friends pitched in too. The guild, the embassy, it wouldn't be fair of me to take all, or even half the credit," I said.The dragon hummed, which made the windows tremble in their frames. "Still, I am grateful. And also a dragon. I will give you your weight in gold.""Uh. I don't think I need that," I said.I almost instantly felt a tiny shoulder Amaryllis huffing with indignity on my shoulder. That was probably a lot of gold, actually. I decided not to mention turning that down to the real Amaryllis."We did it because we care about Booksie too," I said. Some of those who acted did it because they didn't want the city exploded, but that was besides the point. I was sure they'd have helped for Booksie's sake too if they got to know her. "She's my friend, and Broccoli helps her friends."The dragon's eye softened, and a low rumble echoed, almost like a purr. "A noble sentiment, Broccoli. Very well, I shall respect your wishes. But know this, the gratitude of a dragon is not easily forgotten."Booksie, beaming, nudged me gently. "Thank you, Broccoli.""You're very welcome," I replied with a grin. "Are you going to stay here?""I think so. I have some sleep to catch up with. Rhawr will be staying in the back. It's inappropriate to sleep in the same room before marriage, but I think the same area is fine.""No one will steal my Booksie from me while I'm here," Rhawrexdee said. He grumbled, and it sounded somewhere between a threatening growl and a rather petulant mumble.Desiree chuckled softly, her tails swaying more relaxed now. "One supposes that having a dragon act as a benevolent bodyguard is quite the luxury," she remarked.Booksie smiled fondly at Rhawrexdee. "He's more than that, but yes, it's quite reassuring."
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Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Three — Broccoli Moneybags
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Three — Broccoli Moneybags Booksie took a bath (even though, with all the Cleaning magic around, it was probably not necessary for cleanliness), got changed into a very fluffy set of PJs, then hugged Rhawrexdee and got the biggest, tightest hug I could give her, then I made sure she was properly tucked into bed, with a heap of warm blankets on top of her and her pillows properly smacked into the perfect shape.She was out almost as soon as her head hit the pillow and before she'd even finished mumbling her thanks."She was really tired, huh?" I said to Desiree and Rhawrexdee as I stepped out of her room.The dragon pulled his head away from Booksie's bedroom window, then nodded. "She is," he agreed. "I will be watchful, and also a dragon. No one will disturb her sleep." Then he settled down onto the ground, his bulk making the entire neighbourhood tremble as he shifted and let his tail thump down."Okay," I said. Booksie was probably used to sleeping next to Rhawrexdee when he was being a little noisy. Kind of like how I got used to sleeping on the Beaver even with the engine rumbling away and the ship creaking all around. Eventually that kind of noise became familiar enough that it didn't matter.It was getting into the later parts of the evening. Actually, it was probably just a little past suppertime? My tummy was reminding me that I'd skipped a couple of meals already, and I imagined that it was probably worse for Desiree."Hey, I know we mentioned you staying here, but uh, well, there's not too much to do now, I don't think. Did you want to come with me? I'm going back home, to the Beaver. I'm sure my friends would love to meet you!""Your friends? I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in meeting new, like-minded individuals! I only hope that they meet my own exceptional qualifications of excellence!" Desiree said."What are those?" I asked."Hmph! I'm glad you asked, small-tailed friend. Any friend of mine must be a grand genius, a peerless and knowledgeable and well-learned person. A beauty, of course, and someone who stands head and shoulders above the common rabble!""Uh... well, my friends are all very nice," I said. "I think that's my own, personal qualification."Desiree frowned a little, then shrugged. "I suppose that as far as qualifications go, that is a minimal threshold that even I'd find acceptable. Lead the way, Broccoli Bunch! Unto this Beaver of yours."I grinned, but before we could leave, I had to talk to Rhawrexdee for a second. "We're heading out," I said. "Hugs before we go?""You buns are very fond of these, aren't you?" he asked.I nodded. "Hugs are essential.""They aren't bad," he said before I gave his snoot a proper squishing."You stay safe," I said. "And keep Booksie safe and happy and warm too. I'll be a very upset bun if you break her heart."Rhawrexdee narrowed his eyes at me, but then he nodded. "It is a very small heart, I suppose, having to fit in that small of a body. It will be difficult to keep it safe, but I'll treasure it like the pride of my hoard.""Good," I said with a serious nod. "She deserves it. And you deserve a few more hugs and such for being a good dragon. We'll be around! My friends and I are staying in the city until the wedding is over, in case Rainnewt tries anything else.""Very well. I would have dismissed your help before, but you've proven capable. Almost as capable as a dragon.""Mhm!" I agreed. Then Desiree and I gave him our proper good-byes and stepped out around the bookstore. "Is there anywhere you need to go first?" I asked."No, I don't believe so? Why does thou ask?" Desiree walked with her nose pointed skywards,"You might want new clothes or something? Cleaning magic is nice, and it's great at removing stains, but I can't do much for rips and wear," I said.I didn't want to be rude and just... say it, but Desiree's clothes let a lot to be desired. She was in loose pants and a loose blouse. Her boots looked pretty decent, as though they'd cost a lot once, but they were also travel-worn and in a bit of a state.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.So far, it hadn't been too much of a concern. The weather was nice, and we weren't out here to attend a ball or anything. Being dressed like someone about to repaint their bedroom wasn't a big deal.Still, I imagined that she'd be a lot comfier in newer, less raggedy clothes."Hmm, this outfit serves its purpose. My modesty is preserved! Though I do see what you are referring to. It is nonetheless in a rougher state than would be appropriate for a person of my calibre. Yes, you are right, Captain Broccoli! I must acquire new clothes so that I may present myself in my full majesty to these friends of yours.""Okay!" I said with a nod. "I don't have that much on me, but it's probably enough for a start of a new wardrobe. Come on! There's a nice shop that Amaryllis likes. They have things that fit me, and the tailor there probably won't mind making a slit for your tails."I tugged Desiree after me, and soon enough we were in the commercial district of Port Royal once more. The shop, the same one I'd been to a while back with Amaryllis, welcomed us, and I stepped back to allow Desiree to make her picks.She hesitated some, seeing the prices on little tags, but I think she was trying hard not to look as if she was worried about the cost."Here," I said as I emptied a few coins into my hand. I mostly had some silver, since Amaryllis said that those were the best to carry around for day-to-day things.Gold was worth too much in most places. Silver was still worth a lot, but not so much that shops couldn't make change. I gave Desiree a small handful, and she eyed the clinking silver for a moment before looking up to me. "Are you certain? This is a great amount of wealth.""It's fine. I think it's enough to get you at least one full outfit. You don't want to cheap out too much with clothes, not if you're going to be travelling a lot.""Know that you have my sincerest thanks," she replied.Desiree combed through the racks and ambled through the shop for a few minutes before picking out a few things to try. In the end, she settled for a simple but elegant outfit. A tunic, which was almost long enough to be a dress all on its own, a pair of trousers, then a belt with several loops and and a built-in pouch on it for carrying little things that cinched up the tunic for her.She picked out a small hooded cloak too, one that the seamstress was happy to cut some holes into for her ears to poke out of. She did the same with the pants, cutting a slit, then sewing a small button-up closure over it.With the rest of her coins, Desiree picked up a pair of tight leather gloves and a small set of bright red ribbons. She tied those onto the ends of her tails. They were the only things in a non-drab colour, and really made her tails pop."I feel... far more ready for the road once again," Desiree said. "Thank you. You didn't have to give me of your own wealth for this.""It's nothing," I said. "I'm happy I could help. You went through a lot, I think, so it's only fair that you get a head start again."Desiree looked away from me, then tugged her new hood forwards. "Yes, well, I will extoll your kindness to my deathbed and teach my children of your generosity," she said. "Now, guide me to these companions of yours so that I might meet them.""Of course!" I said. I grabbed onto her hand and pulled her along with me across the city. The docks were a little noisy at this time of day, and it might have been worse than usual since it looked like several ships were waiting to come in.If ships hadn't been allowed to leave... then it kinda made sense that there would be a bit of an aerial traffic jam at the moment."That's the Beaver Cleaver over there!" I said as I pointed ahead with my free hand.I was glad to see a few familiar people on deck. Amaryllis was back, and so was Caprica... along with a couple of sylph guards by the gangplank leading into the ship.Well, that was interesting. I wasn't going to say no to a bit more security at the moment, however.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Four — Welcome Aboard
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Four — Welcome Aboard Calamity and Awen were still gone, as was the non-Scallywags portion of the crew. Calamity and Awen would be returning soon, though, and the boys did deserve some shore leave, so I didn't have anything bad to say about them being off the ship for the moment.The rest were all lounging on the nicer of the ship's two decks. The padded seats were probably a lot comfier, and the view was nicer since this side was away from the main section of the docks and overlooked the mountainside."Everyone," I said as I bounced to my feet. "I want you to meet someone I met this morning. This is Desiree Chartreuse! She's... uh, a fox-person, and my new friend!"I almost jumped as Friendmaking triggered right then and there. How had I not used that yet? Then again, I guessed that I hadn't really asked her to be a friend, it just sort of happened-as most good friendships did.Desiree ChartreuseDesired Quality: Someone kind and fun to be with.Dream: To gain many tails and return home a hero."Greetings, plebians and noble friends of Broccoli Bunch, I am Desiree Chartreuse, though on account of your ongoing alliance and friendship with Captain Bunch, I will allow you to use the name Desiree alone when addressing me." Desiree bowed at the waist a little, her two tails swishing out to either side of her.She seemed very confident in the moment, but I suspected that it was a bit of a front. Mostly because as soon as she was done with her bow, both of her tails swung to the side and tried to hide behind me.Her tails were a great deal more honest than she was, sometimes."Hello, Miss Chartreuse," Amaryllis said. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Then her attention snapped onto me. "Did you really find her? The guild called off the search just a few minutes ago.""Oh? Did you just get here? And yes! We found Booksie! She was way out in a bandit camp, away from the city. Actually, it was kind of a huge coincidence that we discovered her. We got very lucky.""Indeed!" Desiree said as she puffed out her chest. "Who are these friends of yours, Captain?""Oh, right! This is my best friend, Amaryllis Albatross, she's very prickly but she's also very nice and caring and she's smart and the best caster I know."Amaryllis rolled her eyes. "I'm the first mate on this old rustbucket. And the quartermaster. And the poor bird in charge of all the paperwork. Actually, I do most of the work, I think. Broccoli, why is it that you're the captain?""Moving on, this is Caprica, she's a stowaway."Caprica gave me a look. "Broccoli, I'm... not a stowaway.""Actually," Amaryllis said, a birdy grin spreading across her face. She had that look in her eyes, like someone about to do some expert teasing. "You don't have a specific role on the crew, and you never technically paid for a berth. By all accounts, you're still a stowaway."Caprica glared, then she reached down to her belt and undid a small pouch which she flicked to Amaryllis. "There, now I'm your most precious and best-paying passenger.""Why thank you," Amaryllis said. She sounded pleased with herself. "This is the first bit of money we've earned in a while.""Is this ship not profitable?" Desiree asked."You can't imagine how unprofitable it is," Amaryllis said. "We do have some cargo to offload. Odds and ends we picked up along the way, but it'll just cover the cost of fuel, repair, and crew wages.""Ah, I guess we never really spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to be profitable, huh?" I asked.Amaryllis huffed, but it was a huff that suggested that she didn't mind so much. "We're predominantly an exploratory vessel. Once this whole wedding fiasco is done, we should see about picking up a few proper missions from the guild, maybe haul some cargo at the same time."I nodded along, then gestured to the Scallywags. The three of them were off to the side, doing their own thing, but they'd stood to say hello to Desiree. So I introduced the three, Sally and Joe and Oda, but they were quick to scamper back off. It looked like Sally had bought a big knife somewhere and was showing it off to the others."So, this is your ship and crew. It seems quite luxurious for a vessel that brings in no money," Desiree said.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation."It's not that bad," I whined. "Money is nice, but it's not what's most important."Caprica and Amaryllis gave each other a look, and I have the impression that they were agreeing to disagree with me.Desiree nodded though. "That's right! Power is far greater than mere wealth! With sufficient strength, gold is no longer a barrier.""Uh, I guess," I said. "We don't do all of this to be strong, we do stuff because it helps our friends!""Speaking of friends," Amaryllis said. "How's Booksie?""Yes, how is she?" Caprica added."I think she's okay," I replied. "We put her to bed back in her shop. There's gonna be some things to fix, but we helped clean what we could."Caprica frowned. "Will she be safe? I can have some guards stationed around her house.""I think she'll be alright," I said. "I saw city guards around, and some of Cholondee's people. Plus Rhawrexdee is sleeping in her back yard.""That'll be a deterrent," Amaryllis said. "It'll take someone both brave and stupid to try and kidnap her from the clutches of an adult dragon. Did she have any idea who took her in the first place?""We overheard the vile bandits mention a leader, one who Broccoli seems to recognize the name of," Desiree said. "Rainnewt! A no-doubt disgusting being to have organised such despicable acts!""Oh, you were captured as well?" Caprica asked with a gasp. "Goodness, that must have been terrifying."Desiree nodded. "I was most frightened! Though I kept my wits about me and was more than ready to fight the moment the opportunity arose.""Desiree isn't a local," I said. "She's far from home. We don't know why Rainnewt wanted her, but I can't imagine it was for good reasons." Desiree mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'tail scarves' but I wasn't quite sure. "Anyway, in exchange for her knowledge of Rainnewt, she'll be travelling with us for a while, at least until she gets her feet under her.""The captain has been tremendously generous," Desiree said. "She has given me new clothes and a place to stay, neither of which were within her remit, and yet from the kindness of her heart... do creatures like you have hearts?""Uh... yes, I think so," I said. I could feel mine pitter-pattering away, though I wasn't sure if my insides had been changed around much by becoming a bun. "Do foxgirls have hearts?""Of course!" she said with a nod. "One for every tail.""Huh." Well, that was weird. "Where are your hearts?"Desiree stared at me, then blushed. "That's not a question to ask a lady."I raised my hands in surrender. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.""I'm sure plenty of people will be curious about your biology, Miss Chartreuse," Caprica said. "After all, you're the first two-tailed person I've ever met.""I'm only two-tailed for now," Desiree said. "Soon enough I'll conquer another dungeon and earn my third! I can taste it.""Is that why you're here? I mean, away from wherever your home is?" Amaryllis asked.Desiree nodded. "Indeed! My home islands only have a few sparse dungeons, and all are guarded jealously. I earned my second tail after conquering one of them, but without any opportunities beyond that, I'd be eternally stuck at a mere two! No! I will not allow myself to be so weak! And so I boarded a merchant's vessel to another isle, and then rode with some fishermen to yet another island where I discovered some grenoil from this continent who allowed me to board their flying vessel all the way to a port to the south.""Fort Tempete?" Amaryllis asked. "It's the only Deepmarsh city straight south from here, I think.""That is what the locals named the place," she replied. "An ancient and venerable fortress along the coast. Though this city seems far grander still!""You'll have to tell us more!" I said. "Ah, but maybe while we eat? I'm really hungry, and it's past lunch. Oh, and we can show you around at the same time.""I'll go fetch some extra blankets and the like," Amaryllis said. "I have a few things stored away.""We'll have to find a place for her to sleep. Unless you're comfortable with a hammock in the crew quarters?" Caprica asked.Desiree shrugged. "I slept on the floor of a cavern last night, though that was through no choice of mine. A hammock is palatial in comparison."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Five — Wake Up and Smell the Eggs
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Five — Wake Up and Smell the Eggs We ended up having a big sleepover in the cargo hold.Well... no, we didn't have to throw an impromptu sleepover party in the biggest room on the ship, but I had the opportunity to do so, and we were welcoming a new friend besides!Awen and Calamity actually returned to the Beaver sometime past midnight, both of them looking absolutely exhausted, but once we got some leftovers into them they perked up and told us about the part of their day that I'd missed.Both of them had passed the Exploration Guild exam, at least according to Sir Tissue. The entire group had, in fact, which was nice to hear!Mostly it came down to everyone handling themselves very well during a very typically unorthodox situation. Sir Tissue gave them all a bit of advice (Calamity to learn some long-range communication skills and to hone his tracking a little more, and Awen to learn to fight closer up so that she wasn't caught unawares if she couldn't use a crossbow) and then set free.But before that, they'd spent the day guarding the bandits we'd captured until a team of guards came down from the city to escort them to Port Royal's much bigger prison.It was deemed too risky to have them use the teleportation system, which wasn't designed to be used by so many people in such quick succession to begin with. There were lots of problems with that kind of magic, according to Amaryllis, and it was a wonder we'd gotten to use it at all.Anyway, the long and short of it was that some of the more talkative prisoners let slip that Rainnewt was their boss, but he was working through an intermediary in the city. They didn't know who, or wouldn't spill, but it was probably someone important.It was something to keep in mind going forwards.Awen helped build the biggest and best pillow fort in the hold, then we all let the long day sink away. I'd spent my share of energy, and was out almost as soon as I finished snuggling in between Amaryllis and... I think Caprica's the one I grabbed onto to use as a cuddle pillow? It was hard to tell.The next morning, we woke up and picked up the bit of a mess we'd created the night prior before we cooked up a big breakfast."So, plans for today?" Amaryllis asked.I nodded. "I'd like to visit Booksie in the morning." I said. "Just to make sure she's alright. I don't think she has all that many friends in Port Royal, except for Cholondee and Rhawrexdee, of course, so we should definitely spend as much time with her as possible!""She's an acceptable acquaintance to maintain," Desiree said as she stuffed herself on toast in a rather unlady-like way. I discovered that morning that she had a knack for Fire magic. Or at least, a spell to make toast?Our original chart of shore leave scheduling was kind of out the proverbial window, but at least we had guards keeping the Beaver safe, courtesy of Caprica and the rather paranoid (according to the princess) sylph at the embassy, so I didn't mind telling the entire crew that they could head out whenever.Which was why there was a whole gaggle of us heading out to visit Booksie. Myself, Amaryllis, Awen, Caprica, Calamity, and Desiree, who was still a little awkward, but was coming around to the idea that she was now stuck with our friend group.We crossed the city, but got waylaid on the way.First, by some street food vendors. Then by a small shop that sold magical scrolls that Amaryllis wanted to check out. Then by a forge that was displaying parts that Awen really needed to see."I'm starting to form an opinion about your companions, Captain Bunch," Desiree said as we found ourselves alone for a moment."Oh?" I asked. "They're all very nice friends, aren't they?""I suppose. They're also rather scatterbrained and hectic. Though you seem to aim for friendships with people whom others might consider experts in their respective fields. I, of course, am one such genius myself, and am therefore deserving of your friendship and positive attention."I laughed, then leaned to the side to give her a hug. Compared to all of my other friends, Desiree had received barely any hugs at all, so I had a lot of catching up to do! "I have the best best friends," I said with a serious nod.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.The foxgirl looked like she was ready to add something, but then she decided against it just as Awen finally plopped out of the shop. I didn't push the issue, if she wanted to talk, I was always around.We did make it to Booksie's shop in due time, and it wasn't even noon yet! We arrived as a group to Booksie's front door, with Calamity chuckling as he pointed out the people looking at us.There were a lot more than I had noticed the night before. And some were hidden enough that I wouldn't have noticed them at all without Calamity's help. There were plenty that were dressed like normal passersby, and a few watchers tucked away in shadowy nooks, almost invisible to the naked eye.I hoped that all of them had Booksie's best interest at heart, but I could hardly go around questioning every last one of them to see if they were here for a good reason or not. So I settled on knocking on Booksie's front door and waiting with my friends arrayed behind me.It didn't take long for Booksie to open the door. "Broccoli!" she said. "And Amaryllis, and Awen, and Caprica, and Calamity. Oh, and Desiree as well. Wow, everybun's here, huh?"Booksie looked a lot better with a night's rest in her. She was brighter, fresher, and the stress lines across her brow and the stoop to her shoulders had faded.There was still something a little off though, a little brittle. Some faint fear visible in how her eyes kept darting to the observers surrounding her house. But the smile she gave me was genuine, so I think she was in a much better spot than last night."Hi!" I said before raising my arm for hugs. She laughed and let me give her a good squish. "Did you sleep well?""I think so. I woke up a few times, but... well, I got some sleep in, and a lot more than usual. I was just fixing a late breakfast for Rhawr and I.""Do you need help? We came over to check up on you, make sure you were okay," I said.Booksie smiled, then moved out of the doorway and gestured us in. "Come on. You can help in the kitchen, if you're up for it, or just peruse my collection. Goodness knows I haven't sold much recently."My friends and I streamed into Booksie's shop, and it didn't take long for us to split into two groups, those that wanted to look around and read, and those that wanted to help in the kitchen. The latter group was myself, Booksie, Desiree, and surprisingly Amaryllis, whom I didn't think of as a very kitchen-y kind of bird. Maybe she just wanted to socialise."Whoa!" I said as I took in the big wok-sized pan on the stove. It was filled with eggs. Next to it was a wooden carton with holes for some three dozen eggs, all of which were empty. There were two more cartoons like it nearby. "That's a lot of omelette."Amaryllis made a face at that."Rhawrexdee has a man's appetite," Booksie said with a nod as she returned to the stove and started to stir the omelette. It took both hands and a large wooden spatula. "This is just an appetiser for him, really.""Do you cook for him often?" I asked.Booksie blushed prettily. "My mother always told me that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Rhawrexdee doesn't insist that I cook, but I like it when he enjoys what I make for him.""Well, I'm sure we can help," I said with a nod. "Unless you'd rather it all be made with love?"Booksie's little blush deepened quite a bit. "Broccoli! Come now, I don't mind a little help, and I doubt Rhawr will mind either. Can you stir? I'll get some more wood for the stove from the back.""Why not use a spell for that?" Amaryllis asked."Ah, it's too magic-intensive. The stove has a rune for it, but it's only good for heating a small pan. If I try to push in enough magic to heat this thing, the rune will burn out, so I need to fill the firebox with wood and cook that way, otherwise breakfast will only be ready for supper," Booksie said."I'm certain we can assist!" Desiree replied. "Fire is a speciality of mine, I'll have you know.""Oh... well, I wouldn't say no to that," Booksie said. "By the way, Broccoli... I was wondering if you could help me-us-with something?"
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Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Six — Operation Level-Up
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Six — Operation Level-Up I blinked, then nodded. "Anything you need, I'll give you," I said.Booksie sighed with a shake of her head. "You can't just say that, Broccoli. At least hear me out first? Oh, and pass the pepper. Rhawr likes his food spicy."I found a small basket filled with peppers and passed it over, then when I saw that Booksie was preparing to chop them into smaller bits, I grabbed a knife and started doing the same. "So, what's the favour, then?" I asked.Our chat was accompanied by the click-thunk of knives tapping against the cutting board. I made a mental note not to touch my eyes, even with Cleaning magic-I didn't want to experience pepper juice in my eyes."Rhawr and I spoke a bit, and I think I'm going to take up his offer for training.""Training?" Amaryllis asked. "I can't imagine what sort of training you could do with a dragon. Though I suppose he might be knowledgeable enough with magical matters.""He knows a fair bit, but a lot of it is instinctual. Dragons aren't the apex just because they're massive, highly magically resistant, grow quickly, live for a very long time, and can fly." Booksie paused. "I mean, none of those things hurt. But they're also born with a keen understanding of magic and the World itself.""The world?" I asked.She nodded. "It's why, I think, dragons tend to avoid eating riftwalkers if they can."I blinked. Well, that was useful to know. I did remember that when we first met Rhawrexdee, he had given me a sniff and called me out on being from another world. At the time, he could very easily have gobbled me up. Actually, I was pretty sure that was still the case. I was proud of how far I'd come, but I was nowhere near the 'fight a dragon' level."Why do they care about riftwalkers?" I asked."Because they're summoned by the World itself to address a crisis," Amaryllis said with a nod. "It makes sense. The World is ... the World. Whether you're a dragon or a harpy, it is still unimaginably far beyond you. A dragon will respect its wishes, just as much as I do ... even if I sometimes question its choices concerning who, exactly, it picks to bring over.""Is that about me or about Rainnewt?" I asked.Desiree gasped, then pointed at me. "You are an otherworlder!" she said. Her tails swish-swished behind her in excitement. "I knew my keen senses had not fooled me from the moment I laid my eyes and tails upon you.""You did?" I asked."Indeed! I once said something in my beautiful and most artistic native tongue, the Noble Tongue, and you responded in kind. I suspected that you were a well-educated traveller, but you seemed utterly ignorant of my people and culture!""Oops," I said. Then I shrugged. I wasn't very good at keeping secrets, and this one was mine, so it didn't hurt anyone but me if I let it slip. Besides, Desiree was a friend, and friends should know a bit about each other's past and such! "So, ah, does that mean that the dragons won't help with Rainnewt?""Oh, I think Rhawr can look past his instincts just fine," Booksie said. Somehow that came out as very scary."So, this training, it's not in magic then?" Amaryllis asked. "Instinctual casters make for poor teachers at the best of times.""No, what he wants to do is something called powerlevelling," Booksie said. "The basics of it are relatively simple. When you're in a group and fighting against something, the experience earned for defeating that thing is shared. If your contribution is tiny, then your portion will be equally small, however."I nodded along. I had an inkling of where she was going with this."Still, a small portion from a large pool is still worth it. There are wild drakes to the north, gryphons to the west, and a large number of very powerful, very old swamp monsters to the east. All well within a morning's flight.""You want to go hunting with Rhawrexdee," I surmised. "And that'll give you a heap of experience, even if you're only helping a little.""Exactly," Booksie said. "That, and I think it's high time that I find myself a second class."Desiree gasped. "You've yet to challenge your first dungeon?" she asked."I haven't really needed to," Booksie said. "And this is where the favour comes in. I know that you've tackled a number of dungeons. Rhawr would help, but dragons... are quite a bit larger than some dungeons would allow. There are a few that dragon-kind know of and share the location of that allow even someone as large as Rhawr to slip in and complete the dungeon, but those don't offer classes I want, and are all very far."Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more."Wouldn't want to miss your own wedding," Amaryllis said.Booksie grinned. "Exactly.""Did you pick out a dungeon yet?" I asked."Oh! I have. Can you watch the eggs?" Booksie rubbed her hands on her apron as she slipped out of the kitchen. I checked on the eggs in the meantime. There were so many in this omelette that it was hard to get them cooked evenly. The peppers were all chopped up, so I started sprinkling some into the mix just as Booksie returned with a large book. "This is a copy of the Exploration Guild's Dungeon Guide," she said as she placed the book down on the end of the counter."You have your own copy?" Amaryllis asked."It's several years out of date, but yes," Booksie said. "It's hard to sell this one, owing to how it's liable to be outdated in a few spots. Still, it gives a decent idea of what to expect." She flipped the tome open to a page that was already bookmarked. "Here!"Amaryllis leaned over. I was a bit too far to make out the text and didn't want to abandon my spot in case the omelette got burned on the bottom. "A cooking class?""It's an exceptionally strange class, actually," Booksie said. "It's a legal and cooking class.""What's it called?""The Sue-Chef," Booksie said. "I think it'll be a nice combination for me. I enjoy cooking, so a few more skills in that direction couldn't hurt, and my business... well, it's a business. Having a good grasp of the law can only help with this kind of thing, I think.""Oh, uh, right, that makes sense," I said. I wasn't sure what to think about that name, so I decided not to think about it at all. That was an important skill, sometimes. "Where's the dungeon anyway?""Mattergrove. So to the west and south. It's not too far from the capital, actually," Booksie said. She winced. "If I wanted to go there on my own, it'd be a week by airship, but mostly because I'd need to go around and change ships midway. If I go with Rhawr, I can make it there in an afternoon, but it won't be a comfortable flight, and I'll arrive at the dungeon with no one to help me through it.""Oh," I said. "Well we can definitely help, then!" I said."For a small fee," Amaryllis added."But with a friend discount," I added on top of that. "A big one!"Amaryllis rolled her eyes. "I suspect we could get the fees out of the guild at this point, just for keeping an eye on you. We might even get a bonus mission out of it if the dungeon hasn't been examined in a while.""I have a bit of money," Booksie said with the kind of wince I'd expect from someone who really didn't."It's fine, don't worry about it," I said. "Maybe we can double-dip with the training after? I'd love to level up a few more times, and it'll be a lot more fun as a group!"Booksie nodded. "Don't tell Rhawr, but flying with him is a little harsh on the rear-end."I giggled. "What about a saddle?""Oh, he'd never accept that," Booksie said. "Dragons have plenty of pride.""Well, we could follow along in the Beaver. It's not nearly as quick or nimble as a dragon, but it does have beds and a kitchen and a washroom.""All of which are exceptionally good selling points, yes," Booksie agreed."When are you planning this trip?" Amaryllis asked. She was always the one looking out for the logistical part of things."Ideally? Very soon. The sooner the better, even. I'd like to get that new class up and maybe a few levels before the wedding, which would mean departing... well, today would be nice."Amaryllis sighed. "Today. That's... possible. But it's not comfortable.""We could go tomorrow at dawn," I suggested. "It'll give us time to get everyone onboard and prepped, and to plot a route, and to check our supplies. Awen hasn't finished fixing everything, but this'll be a good excuse to hire some help from the port so she's not alone with the repairs."Amaryllis sighed. "I swear, my life is one disaster after another, isn't it?"Desiree regarded her strangely, then turned toward me. "Forgive me, but I must enquire as to whether this bird lady is always so melodramatic."
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Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Bright the Next Morning, With Noisy Commotion
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Seven — Bright the Next Morning, With Noisy Commotion I realized pretty soon after leaving Booksie's place (Rhawr had arrived, and they were going to start breakfast together, so we took off) that getting the Beaver prepared to go in half a day was... somewhat ambitious.It wasn't impossible, of course, but there was a lot of work to do.Awen gave me a very flat look when I broke the news, and that made me cringe both internally and externally. I had just dumped a heap of work onto her, which wasn't a very friendly thing to do. But I promised that I'd do everything I could to help!That probably didn't make up for it, so I promised myself I'd find a way to reward Awen as well as I could! She'd get double hug-rations from here on out, at a bare minimum!We got back to the ship, and immediately jumped to work. We kind of expected to have a couple of weeks to work on the Beaver while attending the marriage, so suddenly having to depart in less than twenty-four hours was really putting a strain on things.Still, I had the best crew and the best friends, and we got to work as soon as we arrived, which helped.Steve and Gordon checked the rigging , replacing worn lines with the Scallywag's help. The balloons that needed patching got their patches done up by some professionals that Amaryllis hired from the docks, and we got a team of carpenters working on the railings that Cholondee had squished.It was going to cost a pretty penny, a lot more than if we just did all of the work ourselves, but it was probably worth it.Carpenters had skills that let them work faster and made their results much tougher and better-looking. We might have to hire someone to go over the rest of the rails, because they'd added little scrollwork and pretty carvings all over. Now we had one section that looked better than the rest.At least, it did until Desiree and I attacked it with some freshly-purchased paints. The shops didn't have the same paints as what the Beaver had before, but they did have this very, very bright green that I thought was particularly eye-catching, so I covered the new railings in a layer of that.Amaryllis didn't like it, she said it made the whole ship look like it belongs in a circus, but circuses were fun and happy places, so really I didn't see the downside.I nipped away that evening with Joe and Calamity to pick up some supplies. I was pretty sure we wouldn't be in charge of feeding Rhawrexdee on the trip over, but it couldn't hurt to stock up a little more heavily than usual, just in case.When we returned, there was a crew finishing up the refuelling and Awen was coming out of the engine compartment, her clothes covered in a splattering of oil and grease. "Everything that's supposed to move is lubricated, everything that isn't is nailed down. I think we're ready to go.""Oh, well done!" I cheered before giving her a thank-you hug. Then I Cleaned both of us off, because... well, she was a bit sticky. Awen was supposed to smell like oil and metal, that's just the scent that I associated with my best friend, but that didn't mean she had to be covered in it.With everything looking pretty good for the moment, I stepped out and bounced over to the nearest restaurant and ordered a little feast to go. I returned a few coins lighter carrying a couple of large sacks filled with all sorts of yummy-smelling goodies.I felt a little bad for the last few workers picking up after themselves on the Beaver. They all perked up and sniffed at the scent of warm food, but they were heading out, and didn't seem to want to intrude on our little mini-party.We ate, chatted, and drank, interspersed with some storytelling and lots of laughter to spice the evening. Then it was off to bed, because the next day was going to be busy.And it was! I awoke at the crack of dawn, used the washroom, got dressed up, then picked out the only friends that were already awake (Caprica and Calamity!) to head out and see if Booksie was ready to go.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.Fortunately, she was!We arrived to find Booksie tugging on a tight leather jacket with what looked like metal inserts around the midriff. "Come in! Come in," she said as she opened the door. "I was just getting ready.""Hi!" I said before waiting long enough for her to get the coat on. Then it was hug time. "Is that armour?""Of a sort," she replied. "I ran out last night and bought a few things. This is something I picked up. It's meant to be riding armour, for hunters and the like. It's not too heavy, which is nice. Oh, and it's padded on the inside, and very warm."She opened the jacket to reveal that the interior was lined with some sort of fuzzy fur. I ran my hand over it and 'oohed' appropriately at the softness. It had little metal inserts that I could feel as I touched it, but they were spaced so that they overlapped and didn't restrict her motion."I got new pants and boots too," Booksie said with a nod. "I, ah, visited an armoury for a weapon, but after talking to the owner for a while, he suggested... well, this." Booksie wandered over to a desk then returned with a weapon... of a sort.It was a club. Not just a simple chunk of heavy wood, but a properly sculpted club, with iron bands around the head and a comfortable looking leather grip. It even had a large sheath with little holes for the tiny spikes on the end of the club to fit into."That does look kind of scary," I said."I suppose. I wanted a sword, but the owner had me swing one around and told me that my form was terrible and that I was liable to cut myself more than any monsters," Booksie replied. She raised the club, then swung it up and down a few times. It swooshed very satisfyingly. "I guess anyone can bash someone's head in, even if you've got no training.""Well, this took a turn for the worse," Caprica said. "If you don't mind, I think I'd like to at least spar with you a little on the trip over. You might not have time to pick up anything past the very basics, but at least you'll be less of a liability.""A liability?" Booksie asked.She turned towards Caprica, and her club trailed with her, clunking against a shelf. "Yes, a liability," Caprica repeated."Don't worry about it!" I said. "We'll have a couple of days to train! I had less than that before I tried my first dungeon, and I was all alone too!"Calamity mostly seemed to think the sight of Booksie and her bonk-stick was funny, at least until we volunteered him (as the only boy) to help carry Booksie's stuff.She was mostly travelling light, but she still brought a very full backpack and some luggage. They were loaded with a few changes of clothes, a heap of books to read, and her pillow. We headed back to the Beaver taking our time even though we were planning on leaving fairly early in the morningThe docks were starting to become very active by the time we reached them. The day Booksie had been taken, there was a full stop and no ship was allowed to dock or leave, and even though some time had passed since, there still seemed to be a bit of backlog from the delay. It was probably going to even itself out soon enough, but still, it meant that the Port Royal docks were super busy by the time we reached the Beaver and climbed aboard."I'll show you to my cabin. Ah, that is, if you don't mind sharing?""I don't mind," Booksie said. "Does the ship have enough of them?""We should! We're trying to convince Caprica and Amaryllis to double up to free up another room, but it's a little tricky." I shook my head. I never thought the day would come that my airship was too small for all the friends I had.Would I need a bigger one?No, I couldn't abandon the Beaver like that.So we just needed a third ship!Admiral Bunch of the Friendship Fleet... there was a nice ring to that.Once Booksie's stuff was stowed away, we returned to the top deck and started to prepare to set sail. Soon enough, we'd be heading out west, towards Awen's home country, and more adventure!
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Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Get On the Same Page
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Eight — Get On the Same Page Leaving Port Royal was surprisingly easy. A half dozen ships were trying to come in, so any traffic leaving the city had it easy. I suspect that the captains of those ships sitting around and waiting to dock saw every ship that left as one more berth opening up for their own vessel.They'd be a little bit disappointed in our case. Caprica mentioned offhand that the embassy had rented out our berth for the next month and a bit, so that we'd have a place to return to and so that they'd know where their princess was going to be.They were... a little bit upset that Caprica was leaving, but she put her foot down and personally shoo'd away any guards that tried to accompany us. I heard her muttering something about how she'd only allow handsome paladins to follow her around. Was she talking about Bastion?It had been a while since I last saw him. I hoped he was doing alright!"Alright!" I said as I smacked my palms on the captain's desk to bleed off some excitement. "It's time to plan!"Amaryllis gave me a supremely unamused look. "Calm down, Broccoli.""Aww, but this is super exciting!" I said."I'm aware, but I don't need you bouncing off the walls," she replied before scanning the room. It was just the two of us, and Awen, and Caprica, and Booksie, and Desiree. Actually, it was most of us. Calamity was taking a catnap on the deck with Orange resting on his tummy, and the Scallywags were working on the ship while Clive watched over everything.Booksie reached into a satchel of books, then pulled out two. The first was a familiar tome, the Exploration Guild guide to dungeons. The second was a rolled up map which she unfurled onto the desktop. "I brought this. I hope it helps?""It should," Amaryllis replied as she leaned over the map. "This is more of a political map than a navigational one.""I'll admit, I don't know the difference," Booksie replied.Caprica gestured at the map. "See how the map shows the entire Kingdom of Deepmarsh, and carefully indicates how it is bordered by other countries? That is the chief point of a political map. In this case, we also see the internal provinces, and all the major and minor cities. Since this map is fairly localized, the scale is large enough for features like rivers and lakes to be visible."Booksie nodded."An airship navigation chart will typically show a smaller region at a larger scale," Caprica continued. "That allows the chart to show a much greater density of information. It will show every village, every road, every river. Most importantly for airships, it will show topographic heights and prevailing winds. For this trip, I believe it's short enough that we have a chart that covers the whole route?"Amaryllis nodded. "Indeed." She pulled open a wide drawer and paged through a stack of maps for a moment, eventually retrieving a map which she pinned onto a large clipboard. She placed it next to Booksie's wider map.Desiree leaned forwards. "Where are we?" she asked."We're here," I said, pointing to Port Royal on both maps with twin taps. "And the dungeon we're heading to is... here." I traced my finger across the map to the west and a little ways south. Across the Seven Points mountain range, and not too far to the north of Port Hazel. There was a small blip for a town on the map, but no name for it."The village isn't on the navigational charts," Amaryllis said. "We might have to circle the area for a moment.""Rhawrexdee can help," Booksie replied. "He should be catching up soon enough, and he says that he can see the white of a rabbit's eyes from above the clouds. I'm sure he can spot a town easily enough."I nodded along, that sounded perfect. Once we were close enough, it would solve itself, basically."Awa," Awen said. Amaryllis, Caprica and I all looked her way, and I noticed both Booksie and Desiree looking up with confusion. It was kind of funny, they weren't used to Awen's Awenness. She was usually too shy to butt into a conversation, but she had her ways of letting us know she wanted to add something. "This small town, how close is it to the capital?""The Capital?" Desiree asked."I think she means the capital of Mattergrove," Caprica said. "Port Hazel, right?"Awen nodded."It looks like it's... hmm, a day's carriage ride distant? Maybe a good morning by airship with the wind being neutral," Amaryllis said. "Do you think we'll encounter any issues? We are flying into Mattergrove without any permits."If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it."Do we need one?" I asked."Most countries want you to have a permit to cross their border. You also can't just have an unregistered airship. There are people that verify that at every port. But we've mostly been skirting around it by dint of being an Exploration Guild vessel registered in the Harpy Mountains. We might have had a hard time in Sylphfree, but we had Bastion onboard at the time, so he smoothed things over with his presence," Amaryllis said."Oh," I said. "Well, that's ... good. And this might be a problem in Mattergrove?""Maybe," Awen said. "One thing you should know about Mattergrove is that the nobles there are very envious. They're also very jealous of their own power and their... looks? Um, I don't know exactly how to put it, but it can be a mean place to be if you have to deal with the nobility.""How awful," Desiree said. "If a noble dares to besmirch the good name of their fellow nobility for nothing more than petty greed and jealousy, then they ought to have the fur shaved from their tails!"Awen blinked, then shrugged. "I think we should just be careful.""We're flying in from an odd angle. There shouldn't be any real watch posts along this path," Amaryllis said as she touched a talon along the route. "If we fly low, then it's unlikely that the capital will see us, and we won't be spending too much time in this village here, will we?""We shouldn't have to," Booksie said. "Unless we're hiring a local as a dungeon guide?""We'll see about that once we land," Amaryllis said with a firm nod. "In the meantime, let's talk timetables. I think we'll be arriving at the mountains late into the night, so, winds willing, we might arrive at the village tomorrow night. We'll want to use the daylight to cross the mountains themselves.""Too dangerous?" I asked."A little. Not nearly as bad as the Harpy Mountains. These aren't so tall as to be impassable. We can just fly over them, but our charts don't have very precise measurements, so I'd like to see where we're going, or at worst fly much higher than necessary, just in case.""So we'll be there by tomorrow?" Booksie asked. "And back in... four days?""Just about, assuming all goes well and Broccoli doesn't get distracted," Amaryllis said."Hey!" I said. "That's rude, I don't actually get distracted that easily.""Broccoli, if we flew over a menagerie advertising that you can pet all of the baby animals for free, I think you'd find a way to stop the Beaver dead in its tracks."That wasn't fair! Who wouldn't?I pouted and crossed my arms, but didn't rise to Amaryllis' bait, because she was right, and she knew it, and judging by her smug huff, she knew that I knew that she knew."So, are we concerned about time?" Amaryllis asked."Well, I am getting married in two weeks," Booksie said.There was a beat of quiet. "Wait, you mean to tell me that if we're late, you'll be late to your own wedding?" Caprica asked."Rhawr is flying with us. I think if both the bride and groom are late, then it hardly counts," Booksie said."I... suppose," Caprica said. She sounded halfway scandalised. "Well, in any case, having a dragon with us should provide a certain degree of leeway when it comes to dealing with the local authorities. In Sylphfree you'd have the entire army mobilising, Paladins and all, but I suspect that a backwater nation-no offence, Awen.""None taken," Awen peeped."-Won't have the resources or experience to handle a dragon to begin with," Caprica finished."Rhawrexdee won't be coming into the dungeon with us," Booksie said. "He'll be waiting around, however. Probably grabbing a local snack or something.""Oh... we'll have to set some money aside for that," I said. "We don't want to ruin anyone's reputation by stealing a cow or two from some poor farmer.""Yes, that's true," Booksie said. "Half the time I think that the only reason dragons are so rich is because they eat freely and pay no rent."Well, that was certainly a new perspective on things. I hadn't really put much thought into it myself, but I guessed she was maybe right about it.In any case, the trip was on. Soon enough, we'd be over the mountains and landing in Mattergrove!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Dragon Escort
Chapter Four Hundred and Sixty-Nine — Dragon Escort I wasn't sure what to expect of the Seven Peaks. I'd crossed over and through some mountains already. The Harpy Mountains were a treacherous collection of tall spires with many high-altitude plateaus that were beset by strong winds.The mountains around Slyphfree were a lot more spacious and spread apart, with wide gullies and rocky hills between them. Still dangerous, but not quite as tightly packed.Compared to those, the Seven Peaks were... a bit boring?As the name suggested, they were seven mountains forming the peaks of a rising and falling ridge — a mountain chain that began at Fort Cherryhold, then swept down south toward Port Hazel and the Empty Sea. The mountains felt old, worn down, like they were slowly collapsing, one avalanche at a time, leaving ragged cliffs and treacherous fields of shattered stone. Thick forests clung to them wherever the tree's roots could find purchase, and snow capped the peaks themselves.Their elevation made them kinda dangerous, but the saddle between each peak was vast, so other than a bit of added turbulence, the mountains didn't pose too much of a threat to airship travel.It helped that we had a very capable scout able to zip out ahead and check on the terrain and any threats for us.Well, the threats mostly ended up running away from our path... or becoming lunch.Rhawrexdee flew with great flaps of his massive wings, each pushing out enough wind from beneath the dragon to make the entire Beaver rock on its side a little. Orange... didn't seem to like Rhawr very much. She sat on her perch and glared out at him, but I think that was mostly just her catlike distrust of anything that might be a better predator than she was.For all that the dragon was... well, a dragon, he also somehow managed to seem kind of lazy. He drifted along, with only the occasional wingbeat to keep him afloat, which his entire body hung out from below his wings, his four legs dangling without a care and his full tummy slightly distended from all the mid-air snacking he was doing.At least, until Booksie climbed on deck and ambled over.The moment he noticed her, Rhawr straightened out his back and sucked in his gut. "Ah, hello," he rumbled."Hi," Booksie called out, her voice pitched so that he could hear. She raised a book. "I found something interesting. It's from Miss Caprica. It's a history text about dragons.""Oh?" Rhawr asked. "Written from the viewpoint of the sylph, I imagine?""I think so, yes," Booksie said. "I've heard that the sylph are quite biased against dragonkind, and even dragon-like creatures.""Hmm, we prefer dragon-wishing," Rhawr replied. "Because things like drakes and wyverns wish they were dragons.""Oh, I see. I think a lot of the people I know are mammals," Booksie said. "Actually, Amaryllis might not be? Is there a dragon-specific term for classifying creatures and people?""Hmm, tasty and not?" Rhawr asked.Booksie giggled, then climbed onto the ship's railing, straddling one leg over a very long drop to get a bit closer to Rhawrexdee. "Let's see... I think this will do for the daily reading."I smiled and eventually tuned out the two of them as she read to him, and he listened with a content, dragon-ish smile on.Deep in the night, we left the Seven Peaks behind. By morning, I awoke to find that the winds were accommodating enough, and with a dragon as escort, nothing decided to come poke at us. We did see some distant airships, but most of them did a quick turn and started heading away from us as soon as they came into telescope range.I hoped that the Beaver wasn't going to get an unearned reputation. It was going to be hard to make friends in the skies if everyone always ran away at the sight of us.Our continued approach to Mattergrove was heralded by the change in the air. It happened almost as soon as we crossed the barrier created by the mountains. The wind on this side was a lot stronger, and a lot warmer.I could taste a bit of dust and sand in the air, and the humidity that hung over the Darkwoods and the lands to the east was wicked away by some very dry heat. There were fewer clouds, too. The sky opened up into a vast sea of bright blue without a puffy white speck in sight.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.Looking back, I could see a few cloud banks clinging to the snow-capped mountains, and more behind. It was a little weird, but I supposed it was kind of normal. Mattergrove occupied a thin sliver of land alongside the Seven Peaks. Further west was the Ostri desert, which was... well, a desert, so probably dry and warm.We were approaching early evening, with Rhawrexdee heading out and returning to us to let us know that he found the village we were going to visit.Amaryllis grumbled a little. We'd flown a smidge off-course, so we had to make a turn northwards and adjust course, but we really weren't too far from our destination.The village, from above, seemed like a pretty cozy little spot. Some three dozen homes around a central square, most of them no more than a story tall, with slate rooftops and puffy columns of smoke coming from brick chimneys. I imagined little families, snug in their homes, warding off the evening chill.The town was built alongside a long road that swayed and zigzagged across the countryside. It was pretty well-maintained, from what I could tell. Still, I asked Awen about it, since she was on deck and looking over the side just as much as I was."Ah, that's not the King's road. That's a little further to the west of here. This has to be one of the secondary roads that cuts from north to south." Awen gestured along the road. "There's an old law that says that you're not allowed to build a home along the king's road. All of the land on either side of it belongs to the crown, so there aren't any villages. But there are small, ah, capillary roads connected to it that have villages, and inns, I suppose.""Oh," I said. "Well, I guess that makes some sense. Is the King's road important, then?""It's well-maintained, and well-patrolled. Mattergrove has... issues with bandits and pirates, but not around the capital, and not along the King's road," Awen said. "It was always important since it connects all of western Mattergrove together."It couldn't connect the other half of the nation though, not with it being on the other side of the mountains. Mattergrove was a strange little country, choked and squished by the geography around it.It would probably be a lot more impressive, and larger, if it wasn't so squeezed in.I had to stop with the sightseeing to better direct the Beaver down. We selected a field that looked pretty barren next to the village. If anything was growing there, then it wasn't poking out of the ground yet, so that left a nice big chunk of open space to aim for. With the experienced Clive at the wheel and the whole crew on deck, we lowered ourselves down slowly and carefully, then came to a gentle hover a few metres off the ground.The anchor was lowered, chain pooling on the dirt below. The Scallywags lowered the ladder, and with everything steady we climbed out of the Beaver to meet some of the locals."If you think you can park on my field without paying, you've got another thing coming for you!" a man with a big straw hat said as he stomped over. He was holding onto a pitchfork as if he knew how to use it."Hello, sir!" I said as I stepped up before my friends, captain's hat in hand. "My name is Captain Bunch, this is the Beaver. Ah, this is your field?""Darn right it is!" he barked. "It ain't some landing strip for stinking ships either.""Oh, uh, that's a problem. We can move.""And what about my dirt? Hmm? You've crushed it as if it was nothing!"I looked down at the dirt under my feet. There really wasn't anything growing. "Sorry about that," I said. "I'm sure we can pay you back," I said."Oh, so you're gonna toss a few copper pennies my way and hope that'll make me happy, huh? Who do you take me for, some co-"The farmer choked on his words a moment after the ground shook a little.I glanced back and discovered that Rhawrexdee had landed on the field nearby. He extended his snoot to the edge of the deck, and Bookie hopped over so that he could gently lower her to the ground."I'm sure we can give you more than a few coppers to rent your field for the day," I continued. "By the way, do you happen to know anyone that would be willing to sell some cattle?"
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy — Whet Your Appetite
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy — Whet Your Appetite "So, this is it?" I asked as I shielded my face from the morning sun.After arriving at sunset on the previous day, we unanimously decided to get some sleep before challenging the dungeon. The villagers kept their distance, and we slept with a dragon curled against the Beaver.Upon awakening, the local's attitude was much as it had been the night before. The little village was... not exactly accommodating, and I couldn't find it in myself to blame them. They were afraid of Rhawrexdee, and by extension the rest of us, to the point where parents were shooing their kids back into their homes and the entire village was almost deathly quiet as we moved through it.They'd built their homes on a wide, flatish expanse of ground not too far from an outcropping that rose out of the ground at a sharp angle. The homes were mostly split along both sides of a wide road that curved along the edge of that cliff face.That's where we found the dungeon, nestled against the sheer wall of stone, with a well-trodden path leading up to the entrance, cleared of bushes and grass and covered in loosely packed stone. It looked... kind of like the front of a kiosk, or maybe a small storefront?Most dungeons I'd seen looked a lot more cave-like, but this one had pillars on either side of its entrance and a wooden sign hanging above. The Sue-Chef."Seems like we won't be getting any assistance with this one," Amaryllis said with a final glance back at the village. "I suppose we'll have to muddle through. Booksie, did you bring the book?""I did," Booksie said as she reached into her pack. "Are we all going in?" she asked as she handed it to Amaryllis."If what I read is correct, then there's no real harm. Having a bigger team might actually help with this one."I regretted not paying more attention before, because that sounded important. I looked back over our group. There was myself, of course, and Booksie, as well as Amaryllis. Then taking up the rear were Desiree, Caprica, Awen and Calamity.Seven was... a lot, actually. In some of the dungeons we'd been in, that might have been too many, even. If this dungeon scaled its threat based on the number of people, then going in as one big group might be a bad idea."Hmm, thank you," Amaryllis said. She cleared her throat, then spoke up louder. "Alright you fools, listen up!""I take umbrage," Caprica said."I ain't no fool," Calamity added."Hah! Only fools resort to insults, fool!" Desiree countered."Awa, I... maybe a little?"Amaryllis sighed. "Broccoli, get everyone's attention.""Uh, okay?" I said, but everyone was already paying attention. "Please listen up, everyone, this might be important! This next part will definitely be on the test.""I was not informed that there would be an examination," Desiree muttered.Amaryllis nodded, then spun the book around. There was a diagram there, of what looked like the first floor of the dungeon. It was pretty simple, actually, a large room, with a single smaller room to the side."The first floor is a test, with a mini-boss at the end of it along with a group of low-to-mid-tier enemies. The test is both a legal one, and one of our cooking abilities. We will be entering the main room, where a judge will give us a task. We will then go to this side room, prepare the meal, then return to have it judged. If it passes, then so do we. If it doesn't, then we need to fight the judge as well as its minions. The group that last explored the dungeon warned that the judge is overlevelled.""Overlevelled?" Calamity asked."It's a phenomenon that will occur in dungeons on occasion. Most of the time, the dungeon will have a clear progression of threats. If the first floor has wild cats, the second might have lions, the third shadowcats. Most of the time a dungeon's rating will be based around a set level."I nodded along, I could remember previous dungeons warning me about the level of the monsters within before entering."But some challenges will present a mini-boss, or monsters that are above the normal level of strength for the dungeon. These are usually a trap, of sorts. They'll be docile, or locked away, or not present, until the participants do something that triggers them. In this case, if we fail the first test, we need to fight over-levelled enemies."Caprica rubbed at her chin for a moment. "How does the monster levelling compare to ours?" she asked."The book says they're humanoids." Amaryllis said. "The way these books are written, that means we can assume they have levelling characteristics similar to ours. They're not like dragons, where even at level one they could flatten an entire adventuring party."Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings."I see," Caprica said. "And the monster's expected levels?"Amaryllis glanced at the book, then back at the dungeon. "One moment," she said, before turning and ... walking into the dungeon.About a minute passed. We waited ... mostly patiently.Amaryllis emerged, book still in hand. "Alright, when the book was published, a normal monster in the dungeon is said to have been in the six-to-seven range. Now it seems more like eight-to-ten.""That's not so bad," Calamity noted."The overlevelled monsters will be in the nine-to-eleven range," Amaryllis said. "And there should be about twenty minions. Honestly, yes, this is not bad. We could fight them from the very start and skip the test entirely.""That doesn't sound nearly as fun," I said."Or as educational!" Booksie added. "I'm here to get the class available from this dungeon, I'd like some practical experience with related skills as well, if I can get it."Amaryllis shrugged a shoulder. "I don't mind either way. It's just an option. We can give the test a go if you want." She folded a bookmark into the page of the book, then gave it back to Booksie. "You picked a strange one. If you play your cards right, you can get to the end of this one with very little fighting.""I'm not much of a fighter," Booksie admitted. "But I do want to become a little stronger. I think that there are very few situations in life where you might think to yourself 'I wish I was weaker.' So it only makes sense to strive to be stronger, right? At least, it makes logical sense. I've spent a few years where the most physical thing I've done is lift a few books over my head. I think you're all younger than me, and every one of you is much stronger.""Levels aren't everything," I said. "Nor is being strong. What matters is the quality of your friends and how good you are at hugs.""You were halfway to saying something meaningful there," Amaryllis deadpanned. "I'm glad to see that you manage to wander off the path of wisdom the same way you wander off every other path. It's at least consistent."I pouted. "You say that as if I get lost a lot! My sense of direction is fine, thank you very much. For example, the dungeon is that way. Hmpf." I pointed right at the dungeon, and Amaryllis must have caught my meaning because she huffed a 'I don't want to laugh' sort of huff."Alright, let's go check this place out," Amaryllis said. "I'll be taking notes, the Exploration Guild will want an update, and I haven't always been as diligent in my note-taking. Awen, Calamity, Broccoli, you three might want to pay attention too. You're all members of the guild so you can't just keep riding my tail-feathers."We quickly formed up into a tight little bundle, though I wasn't sure if it was entirely on purpose. Amaryllis, Caprica and I took the lead, with Booksie and Desiree in the middle and Awen and Calamity in the back.Caprica was our best close-range fighter, I could manage in a scrap, and Amaryllis was a great caster. Then the two who we weren't sure about, and finally our two best long-ranged fighters. It made plenty of sense, even if we weren't expecting trouble.You are Entering the Sue-Chef DungeonLevels 8-10Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?I shook my head. If someone had to reach us...Dungeon left UnsealedAny Person can Enter Dungeon InstanceAny Person can Exit Dungeon InstanceI found myself giggling as we slipped into the darkness at the entrance of the dungeon, at least until Amaryllis reached over and poked me in the shoulder. "What are you laughing about? Or is it just the gases in your head leaking out again?""I don't know," I admitted. "I'm just excited! Another dungeon, and one that's probably not all evil and root-y, with a bunch of friends, some of them brand new! It's.. yeah, it's exciting!"Booksie laughed too, but there was a nervous edge to it. "Exciting is a word for it, I suppose.""Don't be anxious," I said as I glanced over my shoulder at the bun. "This will be fine! Trust me! We'll have a blast, and you'll have a cool story to tell your boyfriend later!""B-boyfriend?" Booksie said. "Rhawr? He's not... well, I mean. I suppose.""Did nya not think of him that way?" Calamity asked."We skipped that part!" Booksie said in her own defence. It was not a very strong defence."How fast these buns go," Desiree muttered. "Are they like rabbits in more ways than just their choice of ears, I wonder?"I was laughed as we stepped into the first room of the dungeon, a great palatial courthouse, with dozens of monsters looking at us, and a black-robed and chef-hatted judge behind the desk.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-One — Have Your Day in Court
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-One — Have Your Day in Court The judge was attention-grabbing, being all... big and judge-y behind a big desk with a meat-tenderizer and gavel, but what caught my eye more were the monsters in the stand to the side. It seemed as if they were the jury for the first trial.Big Mouth Goblin Judge, level 6, HungryThe monsters were little green guys, with mouths that stretched out from one side of their face to the other. They had lots of sharp, crookedy teeth, and every last one of them was wearing their Sunday best.That was, they were wearing dirtied up suits and sundresses with big stains down the front and rips in the cloth.The judge, a much larger goblinoid, banged his gavel. "Order! Order!" he barked before sweeping a hand across his face to displace some of the white tangles of his wig. "We are here to judge the case of You Lot versus Our Stomachs!"My friends and I glanced at each other, then silently elected Caprica to be spokessylph for the group. She stepped up and cleared her throat. "What are we accused of, your honour?" she asked.The judge narrowed his eyes. "Are you the defendant's legal representative?" he asked, each word enunciated very carefully.Caprica nodded. "I am, you honour.""Hmm hmm, then you must understand, that this case is pro-risotto!"""I... that's not a legal term," Caprica said.The gavel came down with three quick smacks. "Contempt of court! We will recess for one hour! You will have to present your case after that time, or you'll become the case!"Caprica blinked, then turned back towards us. I shrugged back. "Your honour, where can we, ah, better prepare our case?"The judge-goblin huffed, then pointed off to the side, where there was a small wooden door. "You may take your recess in the lunchbreak room! Dismissed!"The jury-goblins cheered and shouted as we gathered up again. "I guess we can check out the break room?" I asked."Or we beat the lot senseless," Amaryllis muttered."Amaryllis, that's not how court works," I said."I don't think most of this is how court works, Broccoli," she replied. "Still, let's see if there's what we need in that room. What's a risotto anyway?""It means small rice," I said."How do you know that?" Booksie asked.I shrugged. "No clue! But I think it's when you cook rice in broth instead of in water.""Let's see if they even have rice before we freak out," Calamity said. "It'll be one hell of a trial if you need to bring the ingredients yourself."We slipped into the lunch-break room, careful to check our corners (and look up) as we entered, but the room was untrapped. Instead, what we found was a pretty large, if ancient, kitchen.A long counter ran the entire length of the back of the room, with a sink built into one part of it. An old wooden stove was pressed up against another wall, with some corded quarter-logs resting against the wall near it.The kitchen was pretty well stocked. Garlic and herbs hung from racks above, and there was a large pantry at the back, wooden shelves with sacks of flour and rice, and even a clunky metal icebox. Calamity opened it, revealing a large block of carved ice above and two shelves filled with perishables."This is actually a lot of food," Booksie said. "More than enough to feed a few goblins, I think.""Yes, but the trial called for a specific meal," Caprica said. "Broccoli, do you have any idea how to cook that risotto?""Ah, nothing specific," I said. "But I think the basics aren't too complicated. Um, we need to cook rice, short-grained rice, in broth. It's an Italian meal, so, I think adding plenty of butter, olive oil, and parmesan can only make it better. Oh! Garlic too, because it's tasty.""I wouldn't mind giving that a taste," Calamity muttered.The shelves in the back did have a sack of short-grained rice. So that part was covered. The complicated part, I figured, was going to be the broth. There wasn't anything pre-made. No little cardboard box with a tear-off tab."Awa, I'll get the stove going," Awen said."I'll get the water," Calamity said.I nodded, then we got to work making the broth. I chopped veggies with Booksie and Amaryllis' help while Caprica moved from one station to the next. We found a large pot, filled it with water, then started chucking veggies into it.The veggies weren't anything complicated, just lots of carrots and onions and I tossed in a few herbs from the spice rack as well, parsley and thyme and a few bay leaves that smelled nice and fresh.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation."How long do we boil this for?" Caprica asked as she deftly handled a long wooden spoon."Uh, a few hours?" I asked."Broccoli, we only have forty minutes left," Amaryllis said."Oops?""Well, this is a pickle," Booksie said. "Can we hurry it up?""I don't think so? The whole point is that the water gets all of the flavour from the veggies, and that means simmering for a while," I said."A while which we very pointedly don't have," Amaryllis said.I huffed a 'I know that' huff right back at her. She grinned at me. "Well, we'll just need to take some short-cuts. Let's get everything ready for the next steps while that simmers, at least. Can we get a second pot ready with the rice? And plates. And there are more veggies to peel and cut, we should grate the cheese too!""We'll have to make up for the broth being a little thin by covering it up with a heaping of everything else," Booksie said with a nod. "I'll mince some garlic. Caprica, keep an eye on the broth. I think the stuff rising to the top can be discarded. Calamity, can you get to the onions?""Nya really wanna see me cryin' that badly?""And we should cook something to go on the side. Asparagus and mushrooms?" Booksie asked."With butter!" I added.Things came together surprisingly quickly. We sauteed the veggies in oil and butter, adding the minced garlic and chopped onions as we went, then we filled a second pan with rice and transferred the broth over one ladleful at a time while Awen kept the stove warm.I was starting to get worried about the time. The rice was cooking, but it was still a little stiff.Still, with little time left, we started to plate the rice, adding the sauteed veggies, then dumping a generous amount of cheese, butter, and salt atop it all, because if the base wasn't great we could at least mask it all with delicious cheese.I was realising with a pang that my last meal was a while ago, because even if I wasn't super hungry, the smells of our cooking was doing mean things to my tummy."We have extra!" Calamity cheered."Should we make the portions bigger?" Booksie asked."We should taste test it," Caprica said with a serious nod. I think that she was mostly making a logical excuse though, especially knowing about sylph appetites.We didn't need much encouragement to grab a few extra bowls and pour some of the rice in with a bit of the leftover cheese and veggies. Then we dug in. "Mmm!" I said. "It's yummy!""The rice is a little undercooked," Booksie said, being a little more critical. "And I think we might have added too much garlic. There's such a thing as too much. Oh... and I think we didn't chop some of the veggies that well, I think I just bit into a bit of root.""We'll just have to hope that it's enough to pass," Amaryllis said with a nod. "Worst case, we simply murder our way through.""Ah, that's a little... violent," Awen said."I'm just saying: it's an option," Amaryllis said. "Now, grab a plate with those fancy human hands of yours."We stepped out into the courtroom once more, this time carrying a couple of plates each. We had to walk carefully, since we didn't want all of our hard work to end up splashed across the floor.The judge banged his gavel, then wiped the edge of his robe across his mouth. "Is that evidence you bring before us?" he asked.Caprica nodded. "Yes, your honour, as requested, we've brought some... evidence that we'd like to present to the jury. With your permission?"The jury looked like they would riot if the judge didn't say yes. He gestured us forwards, and we placed our plates on the lip of the barrier before the jury. The judge, of course, got the biggest plate."It's time for a deliberation!" the judge declared.Then he and the other goblins started to eat.My appetite plummeted, and not just because I'd just had a snack. It took everything I had not to let loose with Cleaning magic as the goblins completely ignored the cutlery we brought out and started shoving fistfulls of the risotto we'd cooked into their mouths.Within seconds, they were licking their plates clean."Jury, what is your verdict?" the judge asked.One of the goblins stood up, burped loudly, then licked his chops. "Satisfied!"The judge banged his gavel. "The court finds you... not guilty. You may proceed out of the courtroom."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Two — All You Can't Eat
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Two — All You Can't Eat "Alright, before we go any deeper, we should take a minute to go over what we'll be facing on the second floor," Amaryllis said. She was already pulling the big book out of her bag and tugging it open to the right page."I hope it's not more eating, I expect dungeons to be good exercise, not places where I get stuffed," Calamity said with a pat to his tummy."Hpmf, no worries about that," Amaryllis said as she tapped the tip of a talon at the page. "The second floor of this dungeon is one where we won't have a choice but to fight. There's a small puzzle by the exit, but it seems like it's a very easy one.""What kind of fighting?" I asked."Nothing too complicated. The floor is laid out as a very basic maze. The last delver who went through said that the 'right hand rule' was able to solve it within half an hour. The enemies on this floor aren't anything too special. Imps of some sort or another."We all nodded, then stopped. "What's an imp?" Awen asked.Amaryllis shrugged. "Some small lizard, I think? I don't know.""Aren't they little devil people?" I asked."I thought they were insects," Caprica muttered.Amaryllis cleared her throat. "In any case. These imps drop pages when they die. These are the pages of a recipe book. The exit to the maze has... hmm, the notes aren't too precise, but it says here that you need to complete the recipe blocks by the door and it'll open for you. In any case, the floor boils down to killing these imps and walking around for a bit. Let me handle the puzzle at the end.""I'm not sure if I'm really capable of fighting so much," Booksie said. She tightened her grip on her club. "B-but I'll give it my best!"Awen reached over and patted the bun on the back. "It's not so bad. A little scary, but not so bad.""We'll keep you safe," I promised. "We can keep Booksie in the centre of our formation, so she won't have to fight anything to begin with.""No!" Booksie said. "No, I want to help, please? The whole goal of this is to help me become stronger, and I won't gain any strength if I'm forever coddled and kept safe.""That's the spirit!" Desiree said. "Let's show these imp creatures your fearsome determination!"The tunnel leading from the first floor of the dungeon to the second was just a long corridor with a handful of random 45-degree turns in it. The walls were strangely familiar, something like drywall, painted an inoffensive pastel green over flooring that looked suspiciously like linoleum.Interestingly, the second floor of the dungeon wasn't below the first, but just just deeper in. It started with a door. It was one of those easy-to-open doors you'd find between a kitchen and the main floor of a restaurant, the sort with no handle and hinges that went both ways."Okay," I said. "Caprica and I will be at the front. Then Amaryllis, Booksie, and Desiree. Calamity and Awen, can you take up the rear?"The formation was meant to keep Booksie safe. Yes, she wanted to help, but I wasn't going to let her help from the very front where she might get chewed on by an imp.I pushed the door open with a shoulder, then levelled my weapon. I had Weedbane with me, so I flicked the warscythe around, the sharpened end snapping into place so that it was more of a spear than just a plain scythe.Caprica next to me slid her sword out of its sheath. She had a shield with her too, and from the way she moved to place it a little bit ahead of both of us, it looked like she was ready to defend both of us with it.I glanced back, just to make sure everyone was ready. Amaryllis had her wand-dagger out, Calamity his bow and Awen her repeating crossbow loaded up and ready to go. Booksie looked a little stiff, holding her club like a baseball bat, but she seemed ready too. Desiree was the only unarmed one in our group, but she met my eye and smiled before flicking her tails and making two fireballs appear on the tips.The second floor of the dungeon started with a sharp right turn. The walls were wood-panelled, and I was surprised to note that there was furniture strewn about all over. Tables, with little tablecloths on them and a random assortment of plates and utensils sitting on them, and a couple of passages leading away.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it."It looks like a restaurant," Caprica said. "A strange one.""Yeah," I agreed.We didn't have much of a choice on where to go for this part, so we started towards the right, moving at a very slow walking pace. I kept looking up towards the ceiling above. There were chandeliers hanging from above, and a few wall sconces bearing candles for light, but shadows still pooled above around the corners.I was so ready for an imp to come flying down from the ceiling that I was caught completely off-guard when one of them slipped out from under the tablecloth around a table and zipped towards my legs."Eyes on the floor!" Caprica said.She stepped forwards and squatted down in a quick, smooth motion that brought the front of her shield right in the path of the imp. It was a hairless little guy, with red skin and a tablecloth around his hips.It banged against the shield with a hard thump, then flipped backwards onto the ground. I thrust Weedbane at it, and felt a slight tug as the edge of the scythe cut into the imp. "Quick! Booksie, it's hurt! Give it a bonk!"Booksie screamed and charged past me, both arms raised over her head and her eyes closed.Still, she brought her club down hard, hit the ground, then swung it back up and down again to bonk the imp on the head.The little imp, a small reddish-brown humanoid, with thin little wings and a skeletally-thin body, went splat.Within seconds, it was turning into so much dust and I got a message from Mister Menu.Ding! Congratulations, you have bonked Ravenous Imp cat, level 6!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!"I did it!" Booksie gasped."Well done!" I said as I patted her on the shoulder. At the same time, my friends moved in around us, keeping an eye out for more imps."That thing didn't look all that strong. What level was it?" Calamity asked."Six," Caprica said. "A Skeletal Imp. It dropped something." She knelt, then rose with a small sheet of crumpled paper. "This must be one of those recipe parts you mentioned, Amaryllis.""Looks like it," Amaryllis agreed as she took the page and carefully unfolded it. "Yes, this looks like a part of cookbook. There's a page number in the corner and everything." She held the page up, and it was easy to see where it had been ripped out of whatever book it belonged to.I supposed we'd be finding more of those as we went. "Let's keep moving. We're sticking to the right-hand rule, right?" That was an easy enough trick. As long as we kept a wall to the right of us, then we'd eventually be able to solve the entire maze!Unless the book was out-of-date and the right-hand rule no longer worked.Well, we'd figure that out if it came to it, I was sure!The restaurant theme continued as we moved deeper in the maze. Old paintings hung on the walls, with pretty landscapes and sometimes some impressionistic figures. A lot of the paintings actually had random courthouses in them, and the people were often dressed in severe black robes."Stay sharp," Caprica whispered when she caught me staring. "I think I heard something ahead.""Okay," I muttered back.True to her word, it wasn't long before more imps showed up. They darted from around both corners of an intersection, little red blurs that scrabbling our way with fearsome, squeaky cries.Amaryllis was quick to react, her dagger-wand flashing with a bright burst of electrical light. Her bolts struck true, frying the first imp and connecting to the second to send it tumbling our way. It caught an arrow from Calamity mid-flop and came ragdolling toward us."I feel like we might be overleveled," I said."There's no such thing," Amaryllis said. "Only those who are ready to face an obstacle, and those who aren't.""I guess. But this almost feels unfair for the poor imps.""Broccoli, they want to eat us.""Ah," I said. That was a fair point. "Well, we're not going to give them a chance!"With a couple more pages added to Amaryllis' pile, we continued on through the dungeon. It didn't take long before we were ambushed again, then again, then yet again, but really, a few imps coming at us while yowling wasn't all that big of a threat.I figured we'd come out of this floor without too much trouble.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Three — Recipe for Success
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Three — Recipe for Success "One, two, three, four... nine, ten, eleven, and twelve," Amaryllis said as she flipped through the loose pages she held. I was always secretly impressed by how dextrous Amaryllis could be with her talons. They were sharp, pointy, and made of... talon stuff?Bone? Were talons bones? Or were they like nails?Were nails bones?No, that didn't make sense. In any case, talons didn't have pads, or little grooves like fingerprints, so it was impressive to see Amaryllis able to handle something like loose paper without any trouble. I supposed that she had a lifetime of practice. Or maybe she was using a bit of magic to help?"Is that enough?" Caprica asked."Twelve pages is hardly a cookbook, I daresay," Desiree said. "Is that not the goal of this floor? To collect the disparate and lost pages of a book?""Not an entire book," Amaryllis replied. She folded the pages and slipped them into a pocket within her coat before pulling out the dungeon manual. "This says that the answer usually requires between ten and twenty pages. So we're on the lower end of that.""But we haven't reached the end of the floor yet," Calamity said. "'Till we do, we'll be gettin' a few more pages, right?"I nodded along. So far we'd been navigating the dungeon maze for what felt like a solid twenty minutes or so. Not enough to tire anyone out, but still a decent walk, especially with the frequent imp ambushes to keep us on our toes.I didn't think we'd actually gotten all that far. For one thing, we were walking at a very slow, careful pace. For another, every time there was an ambush, we stopped to fight off the imps, and even if the fights only lasted a few seconds each, they were still enough to have us taking a short pause right after.I suspected that if we were to backtrace our route, we'd discover that we really weren't as far from the entrance as we thought."I just wanted to see where we were in terms of collecting these," Amaryllis said. "We should keep going. I don't think we want to spend the day in here."That was a fair point. "I don't even know what time it is," I admitted."Huh, that's not the kind of issue I'd ever considered," Booksie said. "But I suppose that the passage of time in a place like this is a little strange. You can't see the sun to gauge what time of day it is. It reminds me a little of this one library I used to spend time in.""How does a dungeon remind you of a library?" Caprica asked."It had a fantastic reading room, with sofas, and cushions, and a set of cooling charms that kept the room just cool enough that you'd have a valid excuse to use the blankets laying around. But it had no windows showing the outside. You'd step in in the morning, then finish a book and leave to pick another only to discover that the sun had set.""Awa, I don't know if it's exactly the same in a dungeon," Awen said. "But, ah, I do have this?" So saying, Awen fished into the pockets of her jacket and pulled out a small pocket watch with a little chain. She flicked it open, showing the time."Two hours since we've entered, already?" Desiree asked. "You are undoubtedly correct, Lady Booksie. This place plays tricks on the mind."With that more or less settled, we continued down the maze, always keeping the rightmost wall close. It didn't take long for us to be ambushed by more imps, this time a trio of them launched themselves at us the moment we came around a corner with little squeaks and weapons raised.Well, weapons of a sort. They had cutlery in hand, butter knives and salad forks, but it was still kind of intimidating to have a little red monster fly towards your face with a pair of forks and a lot of temper.Fortunately, even armed, the imps weren't able to handle more than a single heavy bonk to the noggin or fireball to the chest."Another page," I said as the imps poofed away. Only about half of them dropped a page on death, so the drop-rate for these was pretty good.As usual, we took a moment after the fight to check that everything was fine, then moved on.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.The only resources we were burning were mana and time, and I was pretty sure that the more spell-focused members of our group had a much faster mana-regeneration rate than the rest of us, so it was probably a non-issue.It took a solid half-hour of trudging along, going down one end of a passage, then coming back through it, and discovering countless dead ends, before we finally rounded a corner into a large room.There was a door here, a big double door, made of ancient wood and wrought iron that clashed with the rest of the floors' more restaurant-y decor.Next to it was a table with a few random items on it, and the far wall had a few smaller doors, like those cool waist-high saloon doors that don't cover the top or bottom of their entrance. The rooms beyond them looked like pantries. Rooms with shelves filled with containers and cans and baskets full of stuff."So, I'm guessing that's the door to the next floor," I said. "And... this is the puzzle?""It's supposed to be relatively easy," Amaryllis said as she took out the folded pages and walked over to the table next to the doorway. There was a book there, opened up, with a ribbon marking the opened page. "This book is missing pages, and one of those pages will match the content of one of the pages we collected. We need to identify the matching page, then bring all the ingredients listed on that page and set them on this table.""I suppose we can find those missing ingredients in that pantry?" Caprica asked."I think so," Amaryllis said. "The instructions in the dungeon book were a little vague. Ah, but there is a note to be on the lookout for imps the entire time.""Right," I said. Calamity, Awen, and I moved over to the pantry and carefully looked into the first one. I reached up with Weedbane and shifted a few boxes around, then squeaked as an imp came flying out from behind one.Calamity pinned it to the ceiling with an arrow. "Guess the note was right, huh?" he said."Guess so," I said.We made short work of clearing the other pantries, just moving things around and making sure there weren't any imps hiding away, ready to jump out and nibble at us when we were least expecting it.In the meantime, Amaryllis worked on the recipe book, comparing each page one at a time to the existing recipe and setting them aside into two piles when she was done with each. In the end, it looked like she was down to three possible fits. "I think it's this one," she said. "Booksie, you have a better grasp of books and such than I do, can you take a look?"Booksie nodded and came over, then compared the shortlist to the recipe book. I came closer, enough to see that the recipe book had a few pages ripped out of it, but it was done in such a way that we couldn't just match the ripped edges."I think it's this one," Booksie said. "Which means, if I understood, that we're missing... two cups of flour, half a cup of olive oil, red pepper flakes, six cloves of garlic..." Booksie continued to list ingredients while the rest of us went into the pantry and started rooting around for what she was listing. It wasn't all that simple, since nothing was labelled and we had to look in every box and bin to figure out what was what.Still, in the space of a few minutes we'd grabbed what we needed and moved it to the table, with Booksie checking through it all to make sure it was all there."I think that's it?" she asked as she set down a small block of cheese.The moment it touched the table there was a loud clunk and all of the ingredients, the book, the pages, and everything in the pantry, vanished.The door shuddered, then slowly squeaked open on a loud, rusty hinge."I guess that means we can go on?" I asked."I think so," Amaryllis replied. "Let me take one last look at my dungeon book before we move on.""Man, you're really in love with that thing, huh?" Calamity asked."That thing is saving us a lot of headaches. Would you rather stumble around blindly through this entire dungeon?" she said before adding a last 'I think not' huff as final punctuation.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Four — Judgement Day
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Four — Judgement Day "Here's what we can expect," Amaryllis began.She was standing with wings-on-hips, nose turned down so that she could read from the dungeon book. The book was currently being held open by Awen, who had been volunteered for the job by Amaryllis."The next floor is the last. The dungeon's boss is there, along with a cadre of weaker monsters to come to his defence. The boss itself should be around levels eight to ten, so not an enormous challenge, but keep in mind that this is a dungeon boss nonetheless. They won't be so easy to take down.""What kind of monster are we talkin' about here?" Calamity asked."His name is the Sue-Chef," Amaryllis said. "He's some sort of imp-goblinoid hybrid. A large winged imp. He uses a cleaver, or a chef's knife, and has several offensive cooking skills, as well as self and group buffing abilities.""Offensive cooking skills?" Desiree asked. "That sounds peculiar. How does one cook offensively?""It's fire magic, mostly," Amaryllis said. "As well as baking magic, which I suppose is closely related. In any case, it would do us no good to underestimate the boss. The boss room is some sort of food court according to these notes, and the additional monsters are called Sous-Lawyer Imps. They'll be a little bit stronger than the imps we faced on this floor.""If they're only a little stronger, we should be able to take them," Caprica said."Yes, but don't forget, they'll be distracting us from the boss, who is undoubtedly a threat," Amaryllis pointed out.I nodded. "Amaryllis is right. I'd rather we all be as careful as we can be and come out of this without a scratch. Do you think our current formation is good enough?""It should be," Amaryllis replied. "Let's keep Booksie in the centre again. No offence, Booksie, but you're both the VIB of this quest and our weakest member.""VIB," I repeated. "Amaryllis... did you make a bun pun?"Amaryllis huffed. "You misheard me." She huffed almost silently. A stealth-huff of hidden bird-y humour! But I was onto her. "In any case. Once the boss is eliminated, the imps will stop spawning, so our focus should primarily be on the boss monster itself. I propose that we split our efforts two ways. One group focusing entirely on the boss, and another group to keep the chaff occupied.""If that's the case," Caprica said. "Then I propose myself, Amaryllis, and Awen focus on the boss. I can hold it off in close range, Amaryllis can apply damage over time with her magic, and Awen's crossbow has a great deal of penetrative power that ought to harm even a boss monster.""That leaves Calamity, Desiree, Booksie and me to take care of all the little monsters," I said. "Isn't that a little unbalanced?""No, I think it's reasonable," Calamity said. "On big hunts, we'd used to have the stronger members' focus on the bigger beasties and the rest would work on clearing out the area around them. We can still open up with a big early strike. Desiree can fling a few fireballs, you too, Broc, and I wouldn't mind planting an arrow or two in the boss.""Does Booksie need to help with the boss at all?" I asked.Amaryllis hummed. "Conventional knowledge says that as long as she helps in some way during the overall fight, she should be okay. But other, equally conventional knowledge says that she should help against the boss itself. It doesn't need to be a great contribution, though.""What should I do?" Booksie asked."We can pin the boss down for you to give it a good bonking," I suggested."Just throw that mace at the boss," Calamity said. "Wait, no, that'd leave you unarmed. Does anyone have a brick? A rock, maybe?""Ah, I don't carry those," Awen said. "But I have, um, this?" She reached under her coat and into the small of her back where she pulled out a small wrench.Booksie accepted it, then weighed it up and down. "So, I fling this at the boss?""Just hurt it a little," Amaryllis said. "I don't even know if it's really necessary, but it's better to be safe than to have to redo the entire dungeon, isn't it?""I think I can manage that much," Booksie said.With everyone more or less ready, we stepped into the tunnel leading to the next floor of the dungeon. This one quickly led to a staircase that we clambered down, then into a small antechamber with a large pair of solid double doors.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.The anti-boss team stepped up into the lead, and Amaryllis and Caprica pushed the door open for us. The room beyond was like a food court... court room. More or less.The space where there would usually be rows of benches for an audience to watch the proceedings was replaced by rows of tables with benches right behind, as if the crowd of onlookers was meant to be replaced by a crowd of eaters.At the far end of the room, on the little stand where the judge was meant to be, was a large greenish... man? He was almost tall enough to reach my chin, with bulging, muscly arms and an apron that had Kiss the Judge written on it.The boss glared at us as we made our careful way down the central alley of the room. Then he raised both arms. One held a long chef's knife, the edge dinged and dented. The other held a wooden hammer, with brass rings around the head. "Prepare for your taste to be judged!" he roared."Booksie!" Amaryllis said."G-got it!" Booksie said. She took off running ahead of the group, which got the rest of us running after her. Then, with an arm pulled way back then flung forwards, she threw Awen's wrench as hard as she could.The tool glinted as it flipped end over end. The boss moved his knife in the way, and the wrench clanged off of it. "Those are not proper table manners!" he shouted."Get your hits in, everynyan!" Calamity said. A split second later, the boss grunted as an arrow buried itself in its burly arms with a meaty thwack.I concentrated, creating a brace of fireballs and then sending them flying out ahead. They were right behind Desiree's own, which I noticed were both larger, brighter, and flew faster. She probably had a few skills to make them better. Or she was just better at magic than I was.The boss roared even as he covered his head with both arms and started to charge our way, the mini-fireballs bursting apart against his tough hide.Caprica darted ahead, meeting his charge with her shield raised and somehow stopping the boss dead, despite being about a third his mass.Then Amaryllis and Awen started on him, Awen punching bolts into his side while Amaryllis let loose with a powerful burst of lightning magic.I was sure we were going to win this one very soon when I started to feel a little strange. Warm."He's using baking magic!" Amaryllis warned. "Keep moving!"I was about to start flinging more fireballs when I noticed something moving above. I glanced up and gasped. "Imps!" I shouted.Calamity shifted, back twisting as he aimed up and fired an arrow that punched through a pair of imps and sent them tumbling down. But there were a lot more where they had come from.I swung my scythe out above as soon as the imps were in range, cutting one right out of the air. They were weak, but there were easily thirty of them above and they were all coming down towards us.Desiree grunted and flung out a large ball of fire as big around as she was tall, then she flung a second, much smaller fireball right into the big one. The moment the smaller one rammed into the larger sphere, it exploded above us.I ducked down, a wave of heat and stray bits of fire slipping past me. "Whoa!" I said. That took out a few of them, but not all. Still, it gained us some time, and distracted from the growing heat I could feel inside of me.How dangerous was baking magic anyway? It didn't feel that warm, but maybe it didn't need to be. I was already sweating a lot.More imps came screeching down from the ceiling, and our group spread out to cover the back of those attacking the boss. I made sure to stay close to Booksie, who helped by bonking any imp that smacked into the floor, taking them out of the fight for certain.There was another big boom as Amaryllis unleashed another spell. I glanced over and saw electrical trails flicking from crossbow-bolt to crossbow-bolt. Their metal bits were acting as lightning rods for her magic, shoving it deeper into the boss.It stumbled, landing on one knee, which was when Caprica rushed in and hooked the boss around the neck, sending him crashing to the ground."Booksie!" Caprica shouted. "Bonk him!"And so, with very little fanfare, the boss was taken out.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Five — Take Us to the Next Level
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Five — Take Us to the Next Level A couple of things happened as soon as Booksie was done bonking the boss. First, I got a happy dinging from Mister Menu, who popped up in front of me with a message!Ding! Congratulations, you have cooked Sue-Chef, level 9!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!That was some good news! But I couldn't drop everything to focus on that just yet. While no new imps were appearing, those already in the room swooped down at us even as the boss started to fade away.It only took a bit of effort to clear them out, and that meant a couple more little dings from Mister Menu, though these were less important than the one I got the moment the last imp was cleared.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun Bun class has reached level 17!Mana + 10Magic + 10You have gained: One Class PointA level-up! It felt like I'd just gotten one not all that long ago. Then again, that was a few days back, wasn't it?A few days between level-ups was a great pace, I figured. From what I understood, it was a whole heck of a lot faster than the average person. At this rate, assuming levels eighteen, nineteen and twenty didn't take too much longer to get, I'd be pushing myself way closer to the threshold of third tier, and with it, a third class!Dungeon Cleared!All adversaries with the Sue Chef Dungeon are defeated.All Bosses Defeated.Broccoli Bunch, Cinnamon Bun Bun, level 17, Wonderlander level 5 is awarded the Sue Chef class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Sue Chef?Replacing your current class will reset your level to 0.I shook my head. "No thank you, Mister Menu," I said.Class: Sue Chef set in abeyance until Class Slot becomes available."Huh, a drop." I glanced over to discover Caprica bending down to scoop something off the ground. She raised it before her, turning it this way and that. It was a pan! A big cast iron one, by the looks of it. Caprica hefted the pan a little with a hum. "Heavy," she said.I smiled, feeling rather accomplished. We'd run a whole dungeon-albeit a small one-in just one morning. That was some pretty impressive work. And the level-up helped! I noticed Awen gesturing and smiling a little, so I figured she might have nabbed a level as well!I didn't notice the same excitement from Amaryllis or Calamity, so they probably hadn't gained a level from this, but there would be more chances! Besides, I think that Amaryllis might have a few levels on me with her main class while her second was falling behind a smidge.But the one that really interested me was Booksie. "Did you get the class?" I asked her.Booksie grinned until it looked like her cheeks might hurt. "I did!" she said. "Sue Chef! This is very exciting. Should I apply it right away?""I don't see the harm," Amaryllis said. "But there's also no harm in waiting until we're back at the Beaver.""Earlier will give her more time to level up her main class too," I argued. "Uh, what is your main class?""I was a Librarian," she said. "But I evolved it to Bookhoarder on reaching the levelcap," Booksie said.I nodded. Right, someone who reached the tenth, twentieth and so on level would be capped at that one until they got a second class, but that didn't mean that they couldn't evolve their primary class. It would just be stuck at level ten regardless. "I don't know if you'll be getting much book-related experience between here and the Beaver," I admitted. "But we might bump into another imp or something on the way out.""Better to take the new class here and now, then," Booksie agreed with a quick nod. I had the sneaking suspicion that the reason I just gave her was serving as more of an excuse than anything else."Sure," I said.Booksie pinched her tongue between her lips, a look of deep concentration on her face for a moment, and then... not much happened. There might have been a slight shift in the mana around her, maybe, but it wasn't like she sprouted a new set of ears or anything."Congratulations!" Desiree said with a clap. "We must celebrate this achievement! In my village, when a young kit gains a new tail, we festoon it with ribbons and parade them around the town. It's a celebration!" She inspected Booksie closely. "Due to your unfortunate shortage of tails, we will have to tie the ribbons around your ears instead."If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.Booksie giggled a bit nervously."We'll have to celebrate, yeah!" I said. I was feeling lots of warm fuzzies at the moment, and I decided to let some out by grabbing the nearest friend for a hug.That happened to be Calamity, who 'huh'd' as I grabbed him and gave him a proper squeezing. Then I bounced over to Awen and hugged her too! "You levelled, didn't you?" I asked."Awa, yes? My second class went up a level. I'm at five now," she said."Same as me!" I cheered. I wanted to give her extra hugs, but my arms were busy hugging her already, so Instead I leaned my head down and pat-patted her head with my ears. Awen giggled, lowering her crossbow to her side and giving me a one-armed hug in return."Oh, great, she's in one of those moods," Amaryllis said."A mood?" Booksie asked. "Ah... Buns have those.""Where you just want to bounce around and squeeze all of your friends real good?" I asked.Booksie blinked, then shrugged. "Sure, let's go with that."She got a hug too, but then it was about time we head out, and Amaryllis was already doing some plotting. "If you want to grow that second class of yours, then your best bet will be to get a strong first skill, something you can use frequently," Amaryllis said. "Maybe, if you plan on doing more fighting, you could pick up a skill like Baking magic?""Baking magic, that's what the boss was using, right?" I asked. "It made me feel all warm inside, but not in a fuzzy-nice way.""Baking magic is an offshoot of Fire magic, or perhaps Heat magic. It's not its own, actual classification of magic," Amaryllis said."It isn't?" I asked."There are major and minor magics," Amaryllis said. "Though those classifications are mostly arbitrary for the sake of easy categorization. The Sylph have their own system, whereas harpy and grenoil use a shared multi-elemental system that allows for more 'types' of magic.""Does that... matter?" I asked. "Is Cleaning a kind of magic to the sylph?""We'd consider it a hybridization of holy and... I suppose water?" Caprica said. "We divide things by the primary elements, and sub-elements by how much of each primary element they use. It allows a caster to know which magics are closer to each, though it's not foolproof.""It's more foolish," Amaryllis said. "But I won't drag you into an hour's long conversation about magical classification systems."Hadn't she just dragged us into that very thing?"Baking magic isn't an actual kind of magic the way Cleaning is. There's Cleaning-aspect mana. There's no such thing as Baking-aspect mana. It's merely Fire magic applied in a specific way."Booksie nodded, she seemed to be following along well enough. "And this Baking magic would be a useful early skill?""For offensive uses? More or less. It's very slow to work, but it will undoubtedly kill just about anything as long as it can break through that thing's natural magic resistance. It's a very potent kind of spellwork, and surprisingly mana-efficient. But without any skills to help you cast, you need to keep constant focus on the spell, making it... unfavourable for most mages," Amaryllis explained."It works at range?" Booksie asked."It did on us," Amaryllis said."Well then! Can you show me? If I get practising now, I should pick it up as my new class's first skill! It might be exactly what I need."Amaryllis nodded. "That's why I mentioned it. If you're planning on farming kills for experience with your boyfriend, then a long-range, low-damage spell with a constant effect might be exactly what you need to be marked as a participant in any kills."Booksie smiled, then gestured to the back of the courtroom. There's a door there, behind the spot where the Sue-Chef had been when we entered the room. "Is that the exit?""It should be," I said as I started to skip over. "I wanna check on the core real quick before we pop out!"I noticed Desiree giving me a weird look at that. She didn't know about roots yet, did she? We'd have to bring her up to speed on that, but it could wait. Just looking at the core wasn't a crime, was it?I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of me. Today was a good day! Now, if we could just get a nice party started, and make a few friends in the village, then it would be an even better one!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Six — Begone, Troublemakers
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Six — Begone, Troublemakers We exited the dungeon to find someone waiting for us. Several someones, really, but a large number of those someones were waiting further back and looking both nervous and rather irate. The main someone, standing closest with their arms crossed, was a big human man with muscled arms bulging out of the confines of a short-sleeved shirt. He had the look of someone that it wouldn't be smart to get into a punch-out with."Let me handle this one," I told my friends and I slipped ahead and to the front of our little group."Are you the... leader of this bunch?" he asked as he eyed me, then scanned over my friends."I am," I said with a nod.His gaze turned into a frown. "What about that man back there?" he asked, gesturing towards Calamity."I'm mighty flattered," Calamity drawled. "But the captain's the captain. I just kill things when she tells me to."I blinked. Had I ever told Calamity to do that? It didn't sound like me at all. Then again... I suppose I did take charge sometimes before a fight, and that might have counted a little. But it was only when we were fighting dungeon monsters and pirates and bandits! And it was never to kill just like that!Calamity was making me sound a whole lot more threatening than I was, basically."Sorry, sir. But yes, I'm the captain. My name is Bunch, Broccoli Bunch," I said. If I repeated my name like that, it made me sound cool and sophisticated. Like James Bond. But without sleeping with spies and shooting people."Right," the big guy said. "We want you lot out of here. You're not welcome in our town.""We... aren't?" I asked. "Oh, uh, well." I held back a wince. I didn't want to be kicked out of this village. I was sure that if I had half a day I could turn the locals into friends. But, well, a small pragmatic part of me piped up and reminded me that we were on our way out anyway."You brought a dragon to our town," he said."He didn't destroy anything while we were gone, did he?"The big guy's eyes narrowed. "His snoring set the goats to fainting across the entire region, and he keeps exhaling fire onto the field he's sleeping on.""Was anything growing there?" I asked."No, but fire's fire. It's dangerous. And so is a world-damned dragon! He ate two of Jim's prized pigs and an entire cow!"I gulped. "We paid for those?" I tried."You intimidated the farmer into selling them for cheap," he said.I spun and looked towards Amaryllis. She puffed a little. "What? I didn't lie. I merely said that if we couldn't get that livestock, then they'd have to deal with a hungry dragon while we were off. And that's a good sight harder to deal with than a dragon that's sleeping on account of a full stomach.""Rhawr is a little grumpy when he's hungry," Booksie said."Amaryllis, we don't... we don't steal," I said. "Unless there are extenuating circumstances!""It wasn't theft. I paid a fair market price," Amaryllis said. "No one was swindled. They're just angry because they could have gotten more elsewhere."I held back from waving my arms around in desperation. If they could have gotten a better price, then hadn't we swindled them? Wasn't that exactly how it worked? "I'm very, very sorry, mister," I said to the big man. "We just came to challenge the dungeon and... ah, we're done now. Again, I'm super-duper sorry. We'll be out of your hair right away? Here, for your troubles!" I fished in one of the pouches in my bandoleer and pulled out a handful of coins. They were mostly copper, but there were some silver and I even had a small gold coin in there. It was probably close to what we'd paid for the livestock already.The man grunted. "I'll escort you back to your ship," he said, his voice not far from a growl.That... wasn't ideal, but it was better than having to deal with a dozen or so pitchfork-wielding villagers.I was actually pretty confident in my friend's strength, but, well, if these villagers had easy access to an easy dungeon, there were good odds that at least a few of them had the Sue Chef class.Fighting wouldn't be smart, or nice, and probably not fun. Besides, all they wanted was for my friends and I to leave.Most of the villagers actually left us alone as we got close enough to the Beaver to see Rhawrexdee's sleeping form. It was strange, when I imagined a dragon sleeping, I always imagined a huge beast, curled around a heap of gold.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.Rhawrexdee was more like... a very large kitty cat right now. He was sleeping on his back, tummy exposed to the air, and one of his legs was twitching as he no doubt had a dream about something.Booksie giggled, then skipped over to the dragon's head. Before she was even close enough to touch, I saw Rhawrexdee's nostrils flaring and he sniffed the air a bit. Then he blinked awake, bleary eyes scanning around until he saw his fiance. "Booksie?" he rumbled."Hi!" she said cheerily. "Guess who now has a second class?"Rhawrexdee blinked with his nictitating eyelid,then blinked more with his normal ones. "Oh? Already? I'm impressed! To have conquered a dungeon so quickly... did you enjoy yourself?"Booksie nodded. "It was a little scary, at times, but my friends helped. I didn't get a scratch, don't worry!""Next time, I will take you to a dungeon fit for a dragon," he said. "And you will be safe, because I am a dragon."Booksie laughed and moved up to Rhawr, giving him a big hug. I could tell (because of my hugging expertise) that she was really putting her all into that hug squeezing for all she was worth. It barely pressed in Rhawr's scales, but I'm sure he felt it."Are we done here, then?" Rhawrexdee asked, his voice a rumble that shook the earth. Then the earth shook even more as he spun his bulk around and crashed onto all fours. I... was starting to see why that farmer was upset that Rhawrexdee had landed on his field. All over the field, there were deep dragon footprints crushed into the soft soil."We are," Booksie confirmed. "And it's only... hmm, midday? Broccoli, will we be able to head out?""I think so, yeah," I said. "Can't see why we can't leave now."It might even be for the best, before news got to Mattergrove's capital and they sent someone out to inspect. With the antagonism of the locals... it wouldn't have surprised me if they'd sent out a messenger already.We left Booksie to her hugging for a while. Getting the Beaver ready to fly again wasn't instantaneous, even if we didn't unpack everything when we landed. The Scallywags tossed down a rope ladder, and we climbed aboard and started making our pre-flight checks.For the most part, the Beaver was in tip-top shape. The short flight from Port Royal to here hardly taxed him at all. Once I made sure everything's ready to go, I sat by the figurehead at the front, giving Orange some much needed attention. The poor kitty hadn't had a good scritching in a while.It's impressive how much bigger Orange was now. I think she's well past the kitten stage and into the juvenile stage of spirit-kittydom. Soon, she was going to grow much bigger, especially if she kept eating as much as she did."Are you ready to come aboard?" I asked Booksie as she came closer."I am!" she called back, and I watched her climb up the rope ladder with a smidge of difficulty. "I really can't wait to get more points in stamina and flexibility," she muttered once she was onboard."Oh?" I asked."It wouldn't hurt, right? I see the way higher-levelled people move, and it always makes me envious," Booksie said. "Bah, it'll come. Are we going soon?""Yup! I think we'll be following Rhawrexdee for this next part, won't we?"Booksie nodded. "He said he knows a good hunting spot for gryphons.""Is hunting gryphons okay?" I asked. "What if they're endangered?"Surprisingly, it was Awen who came up and butted into the conversation. "Ah, I think it should be okay? There are lots of flocks of them along the Seven Peaks. They're a bit of a nuisance, actually. They're hard to hunt from the ground, and a threat in the air. There are stories of them swooping down and attacking people near the base of the mountains, and flocks will sometimes attack lone ariships.""Oh," I said. "Well, that makes me feel slightly less guilty.""It won't be a wasteful hunt," Booksie said. "Rhawrexdee will be eating what we kill, and if there's any extra, we can always bring it to Port Royal. I'm sure Cholondee and Rhawr's mom wouldn't mind a gift."I had never considered giving someone a corpse as a gift before!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Like Shooting Fish with a Dragon
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Seven — Like Shooting Fish with a Dragon I didn't know much about hunting. Actually, I didn't know anything about it beyond a few things I might have picked up from books and TV and stories.There was a culture of hunting back home, but it wasn't something I was super interested in. I don't think I could pull the trigger and take out Bambi's mom without crying. Besides, as much as I didn't like splitting things along those lines, I'd always felt like hunting was a bit more of a 'guy thing.' Not that that had ever stopped me before, but still!My dad liked fishing. It was pretty inexpensive as a hobby, as long as he didn't go out and buy all the latest gear and stuff. Just a licence and a rod he'd had since he was a teen. I'd gone with him a few times. We'd drive out to the countryside, park next to a river and I'd sit on a cooler while my dad tried to catch something along the shoreline.He never caught anything huge, but we'd still bring home a decent lunch for the cost of some worms and a bit of gas and time. I was worried that the experience was more fun in my memories as it had been in the moment. Fishing involved a lot of waiting around, and I wasn't super big on sitting down and not doing much.What we were doing now was a sort of combination between fishing and hunting, I supposed.Calamity, as our resident hunter, with an actual hunting class, was the lead for this one. Rhawrexdee's method of hunting was to fly in great big circles high above, then when he saw something he wanted to eat, he'd eat it, because he was a dragon.As it turned out, his plan for levelling Booksie up involved her riding him on his hunt and maybe smacking whatever he caught if it was still alive.There were a few problems with that plan. Actually, more than a few.So we came up with our own, slightly more manageable plan to hunt down some gryphons.The first step was baiting them closer. To do that, we picked up the leftovers from Rhawrexdee's lunch and loaded them up on a tarp on the Beaver's deck. Those were carried over to the nearby mountains, where we saw some gryphons in the distance.We slowed the Beaver way down, then waited."Looks like they're takin' the bait," Calamity said as he squinted out towards the horizon.I turned, following his gaze towards a flock of dark shapes way out in the distance. They were downwind of us, winged forms slowly growing closer. "Are we sure they're going to attack?" I asked."No way of knowing until we're in the thick of it," Calamity said. "But if I know one thing about apex predators, it's that they're prideful.""You can say that again," Booksie muttered with a slight smile. She tilted her head back, looking into the sky for her boyfriend. We couldn't see him, he was either too high up, or invisible.Discovering that Rhawrexdee could use magic wasn't a surprise. He was a dragon. He was a blue dragon, which apparently meant that he was naturally inclined toward thunder and lightning magic. That was what his dragon's breath was made of.But that didn't mean that it was the only kind of magic he could use. Lightning magic was only an aspect away from light magic, and light magic was fantastic for illusions.Amaryllis had used some very colourful language when we discovered that the dragon could use some pretty strong illusion magic to camouflage himself.It was far from perfect. He just turned the same colour as the space behind, but it left a large, blurry, dragon-shaped patch in the sky. It was kind of very obvious from up close, but when he took off and flew high up, it became tricky to spot him. He blended in perfectly with the sky above, but sometimes stood out if a thin cloud moved past.It was more than good enough, I figured. I had asked Amaryllis about applying that same kind of magic to the Beaver but she gave me a disgusted look and said that I didn't know anything. That was Amaryllis for 'this is a lot harder than you think, and I'm not nearly strong enough to do that, but refuse to admit it because it would sting my pride.'To be fair, I didn't expect it to be possible, at least not in an easy way. The Beaver was a pretty big ship, and covering it with even Cleaning magic was beyond me."Captain, any orders?" Clive asked.I snapped out of my thinking bubble and refocused. The Gryphons were approaching, I could make them out fully now. They had eagle wings and an eagle's head, but massive. Their heads were easily large enough that I could squeeze into their beaks. Their forelimbs were clawed talons, and their rear was more cat-like, with a tail and clawed feet.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story."Starboard towards the gryphons," I said. "Awen, get your turret ready. Everyone! Prepare for trouble!"The goal was simple. We'd all try to give the Gryphons a bit of a smack. As long as everyone was actively helping, then that should count as contributing to the fight.Then Rhawrexdee would sweep down and take care of the big beasties before they overwhelmed us.I felt a little bit bad. Hunting was already something I wasn't too keen on, and this was kind of like shooting fish in a barrel, only instead of using a gun, we were using a dragon. It was inherently unfair.Then again, gryphons were dangerous to passing airships. They were more than willing to attack the Beaver, even if we were baiting them with the stink of rotting meat. Amaryllis and Awen both confirmed that they were problematic, their populations often culled by the local government to prevent them from breeding too much and becoming problems.They were somewhat necessary for the local environment. They hunted mountain goats and other herbivores in the mountainsides, and where enough of them roosted, it prevented young dragons from coming and installing themselves in the local mountains.Even Rhawrexdee said that young dragons were a pain in the tailbone.The whole crew gathered on the deck, and we started going through last-minute preparations. One of those included tying everyone to the ship. We made quick knots around our belts, the other end of the rope linked up to the railings in the centre of the ship between the two hulls.Gryphons hunted by grabbing their prey, dragging it aloft, then releasing it and letting gravity do most of the work. We didn't plan on letting them get close enough for that to work, but being safe didn't cost anything.Everyone that had a ranged spell lined up by the rails facing the flight of gryphons. The rest of our group grabbed a crossbow. Booksie had a large one in hand, Awen's current go-to crossbow, actually. It made her look surprisingly small and awkward, but she was able to shoulder it well enough."Remember," Caprica said. "One hit on each is all you need. Don't linger on any of them. We're not trying to kill them, just do a bit of damage and that'll be enough!"The Scallywags and the rest of the crew nodded. We didn't just have spells. Awen and Amaryllis had gotten their heads together and created small glass bottles filled with an unstable spell that would go off a few seconds after being pumped full of mana. The spell wasn't explosive, but it did make a bright burst of light."Ready!" Calamity said.I gulped and summoned a big brace of little fireballs, as many as I could manage all at once.The gryphons were getting closer, close enough that the whoosh of their wings and their angry cries reached us. They were loud, really loud, and their calls were the sort that sent shivers down my spine and made my instincts shout at me to hide."Steady... steady," Calamity said. "Fire!"My fireballs rocketed forwards, trailing after Desiree's more numerous and stronger fireballs. Arrows and bolts flicked ahead, and then the glass bulbs tossed by the crew, followed by quick snap-shots from more crossbows. Awen's big crossbow turret opened up just as the flash-ball went off and created a few bright bursts of light.I had a moment to see a couple of the Gryphons jerk back, their wings flapping wildly. Then Rhawrexdee was on them.He came down like a falling star. A very, very big and very, very angry star that was discharging crackling lightning from his maw like a prairie thunderhead roiling over usThe air stung, and I felt every hair on my head puff outwards before the dragon was suddenly past and gone below in a flash of blue.The gryphon flight collapsed, a dozen bodies flopping through the air, sparks of electricity dancing across their fur.Ding! Congratulations, you have shocked Seven Peaks Gryphon, level 19!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!Ding! Congratulations, you have made Seven Peaks Gryphon, level 22 buzz off the mortal coil!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!Ding! Congratulations, you have electro-executed Seven Peaks Gryphon, level 17!Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!I blinked as Mister Menu had a field day, bringing up a bunch of dings all at once."Huh," Booksie said. "That actually worked!"
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Eight — There Were More Fish Than Expected
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Eight — There Were More Fish Than ExpectedBing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 6! Health +5Resilience +5 You have gained: One Class Point,You have unlocked: One Class Skill Slot I blinked as Mister Menu reappeared before me. This was the second level-up in as many days for me. It was... actually, probably not too surprising. I was covered in a sheen of sweat that I hadn't yet Cleaned off, and my limbs felt heavy.Worse, my mana was almost completely drained from casting non-stop fireballs. I hadn't spent this much mana in a long, long time.The space around the Beaver Cleaver was only now clearing up, freed of the gryphons that had descended upon us over the last few minutes.I saw Booksie slump down next to the railings; her hair was plastered to her head by sweat and her ears were too tired to stay upright. "They're gone," she said with a sigh."Looks like it," Calamity said. The cat-boy was in a better shape than Booksie, probably because he was a lot more used to moving about and hunting, and he had a few levels on Booksie too. "The last couple have turned tail and taken off. I dunno if your boyfriend will be going after them or not.""Hopefully not," Amaryllis said. "Those things came out of nowhere."I nodded. A few minutes after Rharexdee had obliterated the first batch of gryphons, we noticed a few specks high above us, and more racing along close to the ground below. Calamity had been the one to notice them, but it was Awen with a monocular that was able to confirm what we were seeing. More gryphons. A whole heap of them.As it turned out, gryphons were territorial. To them, our group showing up and hunting a few of them down was tantamount to us coming in and staking a claim on this mountainside, and so they did the equivalent of calling up their buddies and flew right at us.Sure, we had a dragon, which was the equivalent of putting a brick on one side of the scales, but Rhawrexdee was just one dragon, and he wanted Booksie to get a hit in on every gryphon before he swooped in and took them out.That was easy when they were all coming in as one big, grouped flock, but when they were attacking from every direction, all at once?"That was quite exciting!" Desiree said. She curled a tail around and brushed her fingers through it. There was a small burnt patch in her fur. Friendly fire? There had been a little bit of that as we ran around and tried to keep the ship afloat. "I'm one step closer to gaining my third tail, at least! Is that not worth all of the effort we've put into this kerfuffle?""Ah, I levelled three times," Booksie said. "I'm at level eleven for my main class, and two for Sue-Chef. This... worked, I suppose."I nodded. "I got a level for my second class too!" I said, happy to share the good news.Amaryllis huffed. "No level ups here," she replied. "But I feel as if I'm close. But levels, while all well and good, don't make up for the amount of trouble we'll be in if we don't get moving."I winced, but she was right. The Beaver was one tough cookie of a ship, but we had taken a bit of damage there. A gryphon had flown face-first into one of our balloons above, and while its beak hadn't pierced the bag under the tarp, it had cut into the material.Another had tangled up in some of our rigging on the port side, and in freeing itself had cut some of the ropes apart. Not all, not even most of the rigging it was caught in, but enough that it would need replacing too. Redoing any amount of rigging wasn't impossible while in-flight, but it was tricky, and would take a bit of time. We had some rope to spare, but still.The Scallywags and the rest of the crew, under Clive's watchful eye, were already working on that.The rest of the damage was pretty superficial. A few scratches over the paint, some stains where dirty gryphons had thumped right into the hull.All in all, we were fine, if a bit worse for wear.Caprica had her chin in her hands, a serious expression on her face as she watched the sky. I had the feeling that she was keeping an eye out for Rhawrexdee. Not that she had to, he was still circling high above. I could just about see his shape as a smudge in the sky.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.I gave Orange a little kiss on the head, then went over to where my friends were waiting and plopped myself down. Awen scooted closer to me and laid her head on my lap. "This is going to be so much work," she said."It'll be okay," I promised. "We're almost out of the Seven Peaks anyway. Once we are, there's less chance of a random flock of gryphons ambushing us."Amaryllis hummed. "I suppose. But that does bring us to the next big problem. Where do we go from here? Back to Port Royal?""Probably," I said. "Unless there's somewhere else we could visit."Booksie came and sat down next to me, then she flopped onto the side, her head resting on my shoulder. "I want to sleep in my own bed," she whined.I shifted my arm around to wrap it around Booksie's back. "Tired?" I asked."Mhm," she said. "But we probably shouldn't sit around too much, we do want to keep moving, right?""Yeah," I agreed without standing up. The rest of my friends were being a little lazy too. Clive and the others were looking at the rigging more than they were fixing it. With a bone-deep sigh, I carefully slipped out from under Awen's head, then I stood up, pushed Booksie to the side, and bent down to tug Awen closer so that she could lay her head onto Booksie's lap instead. "There. You two take a minute," I said.I had captain things to do.Being responsible could be a real drag, sometimes, but if I wanted my friends to be as happy as could be, then I had to be a good captain for them! I walked over to the other deck, then patted Clive on the back. "How are things here?" I asked."Hmm, well enough," the old harpy said. "The Beaver didn't take much damage, all things considered. We're fine to travel even with this bit of rigging undone. The remaining lines can handle the increased strain for a time."I nodded. That made sense. "Alright. As long as everything holds together, it shouldn't be too bad, then. We'll be aiming for Port Royal. Do you mind keeping an eye on things here? I'll take the helm.""Aye, captain," Clive said. "I'll have Steve help you with the sails. No sudden maneuvers, please.""Thanks!" I said before skipping to the back of the ship and up a level. The wheel was locked in place at the moment, and the engine was idling so the big prop at the rear of the ship was only barely turning because of the wind.I unlocked the wheel, cranked the engine out of neutral and into first gear, then let go of the big clutch lever to engage it. There was a thud as the engine engaged, then the prop picked up some speed behind me and I felt the wind whipping by pick up.With a glance up, I was relieved to find that Rhawrexdee was still with us. He had moved closer, and I could see his blue form more easily now. It was probably time to give the few remaining gryphons a little more distance, though, before they decided to try fighting us again.This whole hunting gryphons plan had seemed so smart. And it had been fun, if a little intense, at first. The levels we'd gotten were nice, and I'd gotten a bit of a power-up too. But it left me feeling like I was a bit of a bully.I checked the compass, then turned so that our heading was north and east, away from the mountains and more or less towards Port Royal. If I kept good notes of where we were heading and at what speed, then it wouldn't be too hard to chart our course later and make some corrections. It wasn't perfect, but it would work!Besides, Amaryllis liked fussing over the charts.I was reaching the level of competency behind the helm where I could let my mind wander a little. So I spent some time thinking more about where I'd be going with my levels moving forwards.Wonderlander had just unlocked a new skill slot, and I hadn't gotten a new skill right away. That was... actually kind of nice, but I'd have to get to practising soon, so that I could pick up something fun for that slot!More importantly, I had a couple of open slots in my general skills too!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Nine — List Your Strengths
Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Nine — List Your Strengths "Hi!" I said as I stepped into the room.It wasn't a room that I hadn't been in before, but it had been... well, at least a week or two since I visited. There weren't that many changes. The bookshelf against one wall had a couple more books stuffed into it, and there was maybe an extra pillow or two on the bed itself.It was strange, but this room didn't feel super... Amaryllis-y.Awen's room felt like Awen's room, because there were tools and trinkets and all sorts of stuff all over the place. Caprica's room was very neat and tidy, her bed was always done so well that I could have bounced a gold coin off the sheets, and her clothing and gear was stored just so.But Amaryllis' place was just... a smidge messy, but not dirty. There was a feather on the floor, and that's about all there was to show that it was hers. Maybe the books could help, since they were all books about magic and such, but that was it.Strange. But then again... I guessed that Amaryllis wasn't the kind of girl that needed a space to herself. She didn't seem to care as much about things like that."What are you doing here?" Amaryllis asked. She was in the midst of packing some things in a small chest. A set of nib-sharpeners from the Snowlands, some bottles of blue ink from Inkwren, tiny knick knacks I didn't recognize. Little things that we'd picked up as we went around."I need help," I said with a serious nod."Oh?" Amaryllis asked. "What kind of trouble did you land yourself in now?""Hey! I'm not in trouble... um, I don't think. I have questions about skills and stuff, and you're my walking-talking-snarking exposition bird.""I don't know what that is, and yet I feel like I ought to be insulted anyway," Amaryllis replied. "So, questions about skills? I'm assuming your recent level-ups have brought this about?"I nodded. Booksie and Rhawrexdee's mission to speed-level her was working well so far. Three levels for my favourite book-bun in only two days. That was a crazy pace, especially for levels past the first ten or so."Yeah, I've got a heap of empty skill slots now, and they're not filling up naturally."Amaryllis scowled. "How many are we talking here?""Uh, none for my Cinnamon Bun Bun class, one for my Wonderlander, and I have four open slots for my general skills."Amaryllis stared at me. "Broccoli, how often do you forget about levels and skills?"I pressed my fingers together and refused to meet her gaze. "Just sometimes?""Yes, I can see that," she snarked snarkily. She pulled out a plume from her writing kit, then a small wooden plank from a shelf. It had a dip on the top, for an inkwell, and a small clip to hold a page in place. She set it all up, then gestured towards the small desk squeezed into the corner of her room next to the porthole. "Sit," she ordered.I sat.Amaryllis placed the writing stuff in front of me. "Write down your skills and such, the same way they appear to you. Which, by the way, is something you should never ever do.""You're telling me to do something I shouldn't do?" I asked. We'd done this once before, but that had been a while ago. I vaguely recalled getting the same warning then."That's right. Letting others know about your skills is dangerous and irresponsible. Or it can be. There are levels of complexity to this. A normal labourer probably has nothing to worry about, but any noble or highly ranked individual would do well to keep their skills and abilities to themselves. Anything else is foolhardy.""So... I shouldn't do what you told me to?""Only if you don't trust me," she said.I pouted. That was silly. Of course I trusted her. I pinched the tip of my tongue between my lips and started writing. Amaryllis crowded in above me, reading what I wrote even as I wrote it. At some point I had to stop and refocus because I was writing it all in English and Amaryllis didn't read that, so I had to think in the local language.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
17
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
6
Age
16
Health
160
Stamina
185
Mana
165
Resilience
75
Flexibility
90
Magic
40
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 27%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 57%
Adorable
D — 100%
Chivalry
E — 45%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 42%
Social Butterfly
D — 100%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 100%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 100%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
C — 100%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
4
Wonderlander Skill Points
6
General Skill Points
4
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
1
General Skill Slots
4
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.Amaryllis rubbed at her chin as she looked over the list. "This isn't too bad," she said. "Say what you will about your... you-ness, but you're a quick learner, Broccoli.""That sounded a little insulting," I said.She huffed, amused. "Maybe. Your rate of growth is impressive. In fact, all of us are growing quickly, all things considered. Dungeons are supposed to help you grow at a faster pace, as long as you're not used to a dungeon in particular, and we've probably hit more dungeons in the last three months or so than most people will see in their entire lives. That, and the constant battling and high-risk things we do contribute to relatively fast growth.""It feels a lot slower than when I started," I said."Well of course it's slower. The amount of experience you need for each level grows... hmm, perhaps not exponentially but certainly not at a linear pace. Your second class is also growing quickly, and I would expect it to also slow down a great deal in a few more levels. Still, it's impressive. I have to wonder why you're asking about all of this, though."I reached over and tapped the top of my list. "These empty slots. They're making me uncomfortable. I remember getting new skills at the drop of a hat... or sometimes when I'd put a hat on. Usually I'd have a slot open for a few hours and then I'd pick up a new skill.""Ah," Amaryllis said. She nodded knowingly. "I think I see. No, what's going on is pretty normal. Actually, what wasn't normal was the speed at which you picked up new skills. Even those that I know you weren't too fond of."I grumbled. I still had Adorable. It wasn't leaving, no matter what I did. Chivalry was supposed to combine with it, but it hadn't yet."The normal method to pick up a skill is to work on that skill, with purpose. You would find something you want, and practice it actively. As long as you do so, have a free space, and are somewhat capable at the skill, you can unlock it as a World-granted skill.""A lot of my skills didn't work that way... I don't think. I was never actively cute.""Uh-huh.""Hey! Don't just agree like that. And what do you mean, uh-huh? It was a statement, not a question.""Well, if you're going to ask for help, at least have the decency to be honest about your faults," Amaryllis said.Was... was being cute a fault? Actually, on thinking about it, it definitely was. Being cute meant never being taken seriously. What if someone only wanted to be my friend because they thought I was small and innocent and naive? I wasn't any of those things! I was cool and sophisticated and... and Amaryllis was laughing at me. "Why are you laughing?" I asked."You wear your thoughts on your face, Broccoli. That wouldn't be as much of a sin if those thoughts weren't so foolhardy."I pouted some more. "Can't you help me without making fun of me?" I whined."I suppose I can try. You at least made the effort to seek out the council of someone smarter, better educated, and more elegant than yourself," she said with a nod. "Now, you want help filling your free slots up?""Well, I was more worried that them not filling up was a problem," I said."It's not necessarily a problem, but it is a missed opportunity. The more time those slots remain empty, the more time passes without you sharpening an existing skill."I nodded. That made sense. And the sooner I got all my skills the sooner I could have new skills improve."At the same time," Amaryllis said as she looked over the page. "You have a lot of skills that are topped up and ready to improve. And it's not like you're missing the points to put into them. A few of these could be brought up a tier with a single point spent, and they might unlock a lot of potential.""Yeah, I'm kinda bad about that, aren't I?" I asked."Then stop being bad about it," she said with a shake of her head. "Here, let me grab a fresh sheet. I can think of a few general skills that you might want to practice, and you might want to ask the others on the ship about theirs too. It'll let you fill those out with useful skills to have. Then... spend your damned points, Broccoli."
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty — Public Comment Period
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty — Public Comment Period "Hmm," Amaryllis said as she eyed the still-blank paper. "Okay, these first two are either-or kinds of skills. You likely don't need both. But having one would help you a lot."I nodded and watched as she wrote down two things at the top of the page. Meditation and (right under that) Mana Regeneration."Meditation?" I asked."It's a practical skill. Helps you centre your mind, helps you think, regain any spent stamina and mana, and best of all, it requires that you sit down, alone and quiet, for hours at a time."I poked her in the ribs, which got her to squawk. "Rude, you just want me to sit down and be quiet, don't you?"She sniffed. "Fine," she said before scratching Meditation off the list. "You might have a point there. Mana Regeneration is just good, however. Having you full mana capability at all times is just such a powerful boon in almost any situation.Now, other options on the less magical side. Danger Sense is a fantastic anti-assassination skill, and it can just save you from lots of trouble, and Common Sense is a skill that... honestly, scratch that one, to get a skill you need to be able to practice it."Amaryllis half-turned, giving me the list. "Thank you," I said. "But that's only two skills? I need more than that.""Then go ask the others," she said with a dismissive shrug. "It's not like you don't have people that wouldn't have advice to give you."I smiled, then placed the list on the table so it wouldn't get crumpled up as I gave Amaryllis the biggest hug. "Thank you! You're the best friend a bun could ask for, you know?"Amaryllis huffed an embarrassed huff and refused to meet my eyes. "Yes yes, now go along. I was busy... I can't remember what with, but it was certainly more important than whatever you have in mind.""Thank you!" I said before darting out of the room. It didn't take long for me to find another friend because Awen was just walking out of her room when I left Amaryllis'. "Awen! I need help!"Awen blinked and turned my way. "What's wrong?" she asked.I waved my list in her direction. "I'm looking for general skills to fill out my missing skills. Amaryllis had a few suggestions, but I figured I'd ask all of my friends!""Oh," Awen said. She took the list and read over it, which really didn't take long. "Awa, I see. Danger Sense would actually be nice. Hmm, but I guess there are other skills too. Did you ever hear of Time Management?""No?" I said as I pushed the list up against the wall and added it under a new Awen subsection. "What's that do?""My parents both have it. It's a skill that lets you better manage your time. I'm kind of envious of it, so I wouldn't mind picking it up myself. Uh, for other ideas, maybe Basic Mechanics? It'll help you understand how the Beaver works. Actually, you should ask Uncle about his skills too. His ship flies when it really shouldn't, sometimes.""Thank you!" I said. I gave her a big hug too, with some extra wiggling thrown in so that the love got in deep. Awen giggled and wished me good luck before I darted out of the room.The next friend I found was Orange. The ship's cat was licking her semi-transparent paws while lounging on the topmost step, where she was in the optimal spot to have someone trip over her."Do you have any skills that you think I should get?" I asked after I explained the situation."Mow. Mrow," she said as I nodded and took note."Thank you!" I lifted her up and gave her forehead a big smooch. She complained, but I knew that deep down she didn't actually mind at all.I ran into Calamity next. He was sitting next to the entrance, on a cushioned bench where he could take in the sun. He had his old wooden bow out, but it wasn't strung up, and he was rubbing some sort of oil over the wood. "Hey there, capt'n," he said."Hi Calamity," I said. "So, uh, I'm looking for suggestions for useful General skills." I showed him my list. His eyebrows rose at Orange's section, but he nodded along. "Got any suggestions for me?""Hmm, I've got a few. Nothing quite that normal though. I always felt like General skills, since you can't get them that high up, should be weird things that'll give you a bit of a boost. So, stuff like Laugh in the Face of Death is nice. Swashbuckling could be handy now that we're on a ship all the time. Oh, and since you might not get it with your main classes, maybe something like Never Miss?"Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences."I don't know how to get any of those," I admitted. But they did sound really good, so onto the list they went. "Thanks Calamity. Hugs?"He said yes to hugs and got one heck of a squeeze before I was off and looking for more friends to ask. I didn't get any new suggestions from the Scallywags, none of the three had much to add, but they did accept their daily ration of hugs.I found Caprica sitting at the very front of the ship, next to Desiree. The foxgirl was on the deck, sitting cross legged and brushing one tail while Caprica was on a bench behind her, brushing the other tail with an ivory comb. "Hi girls," I said."Hello, Broccoli," Caprica said. "What's that paper?""Oh! I'm making a list of General skills to pick up. I'm missing a few, but I don't know what to work on.""Oh? Hmm, may I see?" she asked."I also wish to see this list," Desiree said.They shared it for a moment, and Caprica nodded. "Some of these are sensible. Some… anyway. Might I suggest a defensive skill of some sort? Thick Skin? That one's exceptionally practical, and it works against both mental and physical assaults. I know you don't get injured often, but it can't hurt to be harder to be hurt.""That's a fantastic idea," I said as I added it to the list."Might I make a suggestion of my own?" Desiree asked. I nodded so hard my ears almost flew off my head. "Graceful Under Pressure is a strange skill to obtain, but I could assist you with it, and it's both a physical and mental buff. Caprica's suggestion reminded me of the skill. Otherwise, perhaps something like Etiquette? Tail Maintenance?""Hmm, I don't know if my tail needs much maintenance," I said."Ah, but what if you make friends with more people who have tails?" Desiree enquired.I laughed, and added it to the list anyway. Then, of course, hugs happened. I was very envious of how much hugging utility Desiree had with her tails and Caprica with her sylph wings. It was nice to be able to fully wrap someone up while giving them a hug.The next person I found that I could ask for help from was Booksie. She was sitting on the other end of the ship, legs dangling off the side of the hull without a single care about the height we were at. "Hi Booksie," I said."Hello, Broccoli," she replied. "What are you up to?"I explained, then showed her my list. She looked over it with a smile, then grinned up to me and patted the deck next to her to sit down. "Did you want my own suggestion, then?""Yeah!" I said."And what about my own?" Rhawrexdee said. He rose up from below the ship. It was impressive how quiet he could be sometimes, for a dragon."I'd love your advice too, of course!" I said."Well, there are a few racial-only skills for buns, you know?" Booksie said.I blinked. "I didn't know. Like what? Oh, wait! I have Way of the Mystic Bun, that's got to be a bun skill, right?""That's one I haven't heard of. I know of Harebrained, Haredevil, Buns of Steel, Hopping Mad, Bun in the Oven is one that I just picked up with my new class. It'll help me with baking and the like!""Oh, nice nice," I said as I jotted it all down. I was pretty sure I'd gotten one of those as a class option once, actually."Hmm, my suggestions are Hoarding, Flight, and Draconic Confidence.""What's that last one do?" I asked.He eyed me. "It reminds me and others that I am a dragon.""Oh," I said. Well, that made sense. I jotted it down, then looked at my list.Amaryllis— Meditation— Mana Regeneration— Danger Sense
— Common Sense
Awen— Time Management— Basic MechanicsOrange— Sunbathing— Murder— PettingCalamity— Laugh in the Face of Death— Swashbuckling— Never MissCaprica— Thick SkinDesiree— Graceful Under Pressure— Etiquette— Tail MaintenanceBooksie— Harebrained— Haredevil— Buns of Steel— Hopping Mad— Bun in the OvenRhawrexdee— Hoarding— Flight— Draconic ConfidenceThat... looked like a pretty good selection to me!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-One — Scratch That
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-One — Scratch That I had four General skill slots to fill, and a lot more than four options. Really, the moment I was done with my list, I kinda wanted to sit down and think about it, but I also had some work to do, so I folded it up, stuffed it in my pocket, then did my captain-ing duties for a few hours.That mostly meant double-checking our heading, making sure that the few repairs we'd done were in good order, and ensuring that everyone was doing their job. That wasn't too hard, I had the best crew ever and they were all very responsible and didn't slack off when it was their turn to do something.It wasn't until well after supper that I had time to think about the list again. I told Clive to take the night off, I had so much energy at the moment that I was sure I could stay behind the wheel until the early hours of the morning, and the old bird deserved a few hours of rest for putting up with me and my friends.So, as the sun set, I found myself behind the ship's wheel. The Beaver's engine rumbled beneath me, but it wasn't being pushed at all. There was a slight wind from the east, one that was surprisingly warm... or maybe not so surprisingly warm if it had come from over the Ostri desert.I locked the ship's wheel in place using a little metal latch that Awen had tinkered up. This way the rudder would keep pointing us ahead and slightly to the left, to counteract the easterly wind. I was keeping an eye on the compass too, in case I had to make some minute adjustments as we went.Fortunately, it was a pretty clear evening, with only a few puffball clouds overhead, and the stars were plainly visible already. It was easy to pick a constellation out ahead and with a squint I could have the duck figureheads at the front lined up with a particular star.I pulled out the list from my pocket and unfolded it. There were... twenty-four potential skills on the list. I had room for four general skills, and a single spot for a Wonderlander skill. So I had to chop the list down by quite a bit.Pinching my tongue between my lips, I ran through the list and crossed out a few skills that I was pretty sure weren't super suitable for me. I started with Amaryllis' skills, since they were at the top.Meditation got the chop. It wasn't that I couldn't picture myself meditating, it was just that I had such a busy life that finding the time to do it would be hard. Plus, it seemed like something that went counter to my goals of having as much fun with my friends as possible. Unless we did group meditation? Hmm, no, I couldn't picture everyone being into that.Mana Regeneration, however, was staying on the list. It was the kind of thing that was just handy to have, really.Danger Sense could stay on there too. There was a lot of utility there, not just for fighting, but for everyday stuff too. Maybe it would warn me if something I was about to eat would upset my tummy, or maybe it would let me know about a dangerous person that I had to be careful while befriending?Common Sense was nice and all, but I was worried that it might interfere with my Wonderlander abilities. Besides, if I wanted some sort of sense, then I probably didn't want it to be common. At least uncommon would be alright, but I'd settle for rare or legendary a lot faster.Next to be crossed out was Time Management. It wasn't that bad of a skill, really, but I didn't see a practical use for it. If I was ever going to be late for something then Amaryllis would let me know... at length and with great gusto. Caprica and Awen were also very punctual people, and it wasn't like I was all that bad with stuff either. Sure, I got distracted sometimes, but not always.So that was one more crossed off the list.Orange's suggestions were... well... Sunbathing was nice and all, and it was true that sitting down on a porch on a day where it was just a bit chilly outside, maybe with a thin blanket on while the sun warmed you up, was one of the nicest, comfiest feelings-but I wasn't sure I needed an entire skill for it.Murder as a skill was also not something I was too keen to have. It was something I hoped that I would always be very reluctant to even consider, and definitely not something I wanted to be good at.Petting... alright, that could stay for now. I wasn't sure if it would make it to the shortlist, but being better at it couldn't hurt! Imagine how happy the next dog I met would be if I had supernatural ear-scritching abilities?If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.Next were Calamity's suggestions. Laugh in the Face of Death actually got an underline. I didn't know how I would even start to get that skill, but it seemed like it would be a fun one. Would it stop me from being afraid? Would it make me stronger when I was in danger? I didn't know, but I wanted to know more about it, and I was willing to do a pinch of research to find out!Getting the skill might be the trickiest part with this one, but I didn't mind overly much. Plus Calamity might be able to help!Swashbuckling was a nice second contender. I wasn't sure what the skill did exactly, but I imagined it would help me fight on an airship, maybe give me some skills with a cutlass or help me strut around like a fearsome sky pirate!Never Miss was a third great skill from Calamity. I wasn't sure if it was a great skill for me in particular since I wasn't a dedicated ranged fighter, but it might help me in those cases where I did have to fight from afar. I tended to use a scatter approach with my fireballs. This might help me use stronger ones without having to worry about wasting as much mana.And Never Miss seemed like a skill that had uses outside of fights or near-death situations.Caprica only had one skill on her list, but it was a doozy. Thick Skin looked like something that would probably be fairly easy to unlock, and it had so many uses! I could imagine being impervious to insults and people making fun of me! That would be so incredibly powerful.Also, having skin that was literally thicker might be nice too. I tended to not get hurt too often, but scrapes and bruises and boo-boos happened. I'd gotten some rope burn the other day, and a cut on my shin. Not to mention a few scrapes here and there. Those were the price I paid for an active lifestyle, and it would be nice if I could just... not have those.I did worry about the skill making my skin less soft. What if it became all calloused and leathery? One of the great pleasures in life was smushing your cheek against someone else's in the middle of a hug, and would I lose that if my cheeks weren't as soft and smooth?I still really liked the skill. It got an underline too!Desiree's Grace Under Pressure got underlined right after. It seemed like a neat skill to have, and again, there were uses in and out of combat. I wasn't one to fumble over my words when worried or stressed, but having an extra boost for that kind of situation wouldn't hurt. And I suspected that it also made me a bit more flexible, or at least graceful, during fights too, at least when they got tough.Unfortunately, Etiquette and Tail Maintenance got the cross-out-of-doom. I didn't really think I needed a skill for etiquette. The best etiquette was just being nice. And my floofball of a tail was kept clean and properly floofy already.Booksie had given me a heap of skills to pick from, but a few felt a little wrong. Harebrained, Buns of Steel, and Hopping Mad didn't call out to me. Bun in the Oven was neat if it helped with baking, but we didn't even have an oven on the Beaver. That left Haredevil, which did sound pretty neat.Would it help me pull off cool stunts? If so, then it was totally worth considering, at the very least.That left Rhawrexdee's skills, and all three of them were actually super-duper good. Hoarding would help me make and keep more friends. Flight was flight. Draconic Confidence... well, I probably didn't need the confidence to be draconic but it was still nice to feel certain in yourself.I nodded and looked at my list again.Amaryllis
— Meditation
— Mana Regeneration— Danger Sense
— Common Sense
Awen
— Time Management
— Basic MechanicsOrange
— Sunbathing— Murder
— PettingCalamity— Laugh in the Face of Death— Swashbuckling— Never MissCaprica— Thick SkinDesiree— Graceful Under Pressure
— Etiquette— Tail Maintenance
Booksie
— Harebrained
— Haredevil
— Buns of Steel— Hopping Mad— Bun in the Oven
Rhawrexdee— Hoarding— Flight— Draconic Confidence... Well, thirteen was less than what I started with, at least?
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Two — Get a Second Opinion
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Two — Get a Second Opinion "Will you remain seated here?" Desiree asked.I opened my mouth to answer, but instead of anything coherent, a big old yawn escaped. About halfway through, I decided to just let it all out until my jaw cracked. I brought a hand up to cover my mouth, but it was a little late. "S-sorry," I said."Ah, the reason you're here is because you're too tired to evacuate back to your rooms," Desiree said with a knowing nod. "I shall carry you, then, like a princess in one of those sordid tales!"I giggled. "No thank you! I don't need to be princess-carried to bed just yet. Though I guess I am a little tired."The remains of breakfast were laid out on the table before me. Toast and oatmeal porridge and some tea for those who had just woken up. As for me, well, this was more like a very very late supper, or a second super early lunch, maybe.Being up all night long kind of rattled my sense of time a little. "I should go to bed," I said."Ah, but something holds you back?" Desiree asked with a knowing nod. "You haven't done your nightly ablutions, then?""Hmm? Oh, no, those are easy. I just use Cleaning magic on myself, then swish some around in my mouth. It's not the same as brushing my teeth-no minty taste-but it works well enough." I was kind of terrified of getting cavities. Even though I was sure there were people with the Dentist class out there, most little towns mainly relied on their barbers to handle tooth problems. Hopefully, enough Cleaning magic would let me avoid the entire issue."I suppose you're the one keeping the ship so absurdly clean?" Desiree asked. She reached a tail over to the top of a shelf and ran the tip along the edge. Her tail returned, entirely dust-free."I kinda leak Cleaning magic all over," I admitted. "I think it might be good practice? And it's not like Cleaning magic is harmful. At least, I hope it isn't! It keeps the ship nice and clean, and I think everyone is happy that they don't need to do the laundry or scrub out the toilets.""Perfectly understandable," Desiree said."It doesn't keep things organised though," I said. "If you leave stuff all over, then it'll be clean, but it'll still be out of place. So we need to make some effort to put things away."She nodded along. "Are you going to stay awake to continue expounding on the glories of Cleaning magic?""Huh? Oh, yeah, I should be going to bed. But I've got too much thinking to do. I can't decide.""Decide on what? Are you still, perchance, working out which skills to obtain?" she asked. Desiree could be surprisingly astute at times. She stared at me, tails swishing behind her."Yeah," I said. "I shortened my list a lot. Then I rewrote it. Did you want to see?"She shrugged a shoulder, then watched as I tugged my new list from a pocket and set it on the table.— Mana Regeneration— Danger Sense— Basic Mechanics— Petting— Laugh in the Face of Death— Swashbuckling— Never Miss— Thick Skin— Graceful Under Pressure— Haredevil— Hoarding— Flight— Draconic ConfidenceDesiree looked at the list for a while, then squinted. "I recognize none of these words."I blinked, then looked at the list myself. I supposed that with how tired I was, I'd written it in plain English. So I grabbed it, thought of the local language, and tried my best to focus as I rewrote the whole thing so that Desiree could understand it.My Riftwalker abilities were weird. Strange that they weren't a skill or anything. "So, these are... thirteen skills that you must pick from?""That's right," I said. "And I only have four general slots and one for Wonderlander," I said. "So obviously I need to trim it down a heap.""Petting?"I flushed. "Alright, maybe I can cut that one," I said. "But I felt bad dismissing everyone's suggestions so I wanted to keep at least one from each friend, at least through the first round of cuts!"Desiree shook her head. "You are a silly bun.""No I'm not," I grumbled."I think you'll find that upon further observation, you are in fact the silliest bun aboard this vessel.""There's only two of us," I said."Yes, and the other is literally about to marry a dragon after only knowing him for some scant weeks. And yet, somehow, you are still the silliest."Well, now I was pouting, and it was all her fault.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident."Come on, Captain Bunch, let's get you to bed. You can speak to me of your choices on the way over. A bit of discussion will certainly help." Desiree patted me on the shoulders as I stood up. "No no, leave the dishes. I shall see to them forthwith. Now, what's the reasoning behind the underlining of certain skills?""Oh, those are the ones that I thought would be the more interesting," I said. "Your Grace Under Pressure for example sounded really neat. Maybe a literal life saver, and it can be used in and out of combat.""I see. Is that important to you? Skills that are efficacious in both violence and peace?""I guess so," I said. We started through the corridor towards my room. "I don't really... well, maybe I do enjoy fighting, but more for the teamwork and the exertion than the actual fighting part. But when it happens, I'd like to be pretty good at it. The other option is to be pretty bad, and that's just not great.""A personal priority on personal safety is eminently reasonable," Desiree said. "I would counsel you to retain Mana Regeneration upon your shortened list. Such a skill improves the foundation upon which your magical prowess is built, and is therefore a prudent addition in any circumstance.""Okay," I agreed. That was probably going on my shorter shortlist either way."Danger Sense can stay as well, I suppose, though you do have friends with this skill already, do you not?""I do? Who?""Calamity and Caprica, I believe," Desiree said. "Do bear in mind that I speak only from personal observation, however. Possibly, they possess some related skill that grants similar effects.""Oh," I said. I hadn't seen that. Did they have the skill? It... probably made sense that they did, actually."Basic Mechanics... hmm, I suppose I see why you might want this. But to practice this one, it seems to me you shall have no choice but to tread on poor Awen's toes."I shook my head as I headed into my room. Desiree followed. "I thought it would be a nice excuse to spend some time with Awen.""Silly once more, Captain Bunch," Desiree said. "You can spend time with your dear friend regardless, and perhaps she'd find your cluelessness all the more endearing."I grumbled, but she wasn't wrong."Now, strip out of that armour whilst I search for your nightwear. Have no fear, I've seen worse than anything you might be hiding. Chop chop, or I'll give you a tail-lashing!"With how soft and fluffy her tails were, would that really be a punishment?Still, I took off my armour and then my gambeson, and finally tugged on the nightgown that Desiree gave me.I sat on my bed, the covers pulled back. "Now that I've moved, I'm not tired anymore," I complained."Hmph," Desiree said. "Well, we can go on. For one such as yourself, Petting is entirely without value. Yes, it would be nice to have someone pet my tails with all due skill, but your job is to captain the ship, not assuage my tail's ill humour."I sighed, but she was probably right."And now we come upon the first of the underlined skills. Laugh in the Face of Death? Well, I suppose that this isn't an ill choice. None of these are. Hmm hmm, Swashbuckling and Never Miss. Combat skills. I imagine you'll want to pick the one or the other.""Not both?" I asked.Desiree carefully shoved me onto my side, then she picked up my feet and slipped them onto the bed. "Certainly, there is nothing preventing you from striving to obtain them both. However, doing so would restrict your options. It appears to me that a number of these skills will likely only be available through the combination of smaller talents that you must first acquire. Naturally, that will be impossible if you secure too many other skills.""Urgh," I said.My pillow was fluffed and tucked under my head, then Desiree patted my ears out across the top of the pillow. "Are you awake enough to continue?""Mhm," I said."You don't sound very awake."I snuggled in deeper into the blankets. They were so warm... was Desiree warming them with magic? That wasn't fair. "I'm 'wake," I murmured with great determination."I see," Desiree said. Judging by the noise, she placed my list on the nightstand nearby. I couldn't see, on account of my eyes being closed.That was, until I heard a familiar noise from Mister Menu.Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Snoozing!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Three — The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Buns
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Three — The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Buns "I don't think I've ever actually seen you angry," Caprica said as she stood across from me, a small mug of tea in hand. She took her tea with six spoonfuls of sugar, so I actually wasn't sure if it entirely counted as tea anymore."I'm not angry," I said, angrily.It was mostly true, I was just... miffed. We were about a day away from Port Royal. The wind had shifted a bit, and we were having to fight it. The air currents here were pretty strong, and they'd been at our back when moving away from the city. It was making for a somewhat turbulent flight, but nothing too bad. It was just a teeny-tiny annoyance, but I was already in a foul mood and it wasn't helping.I took an angry sip of my own tea. It was delicious, and hot, and sank down to my tummy as a soothing warmth.Okay, so I wasn't good at being angry."Did you at least sleep well?" Caprica asked.I puffed my cheeks out. "I never slept better," I admitted, which only annoyed me more.When I fell asleep last morning, Mister Menu's warning about that new skill had felt like the start of a dream. I had been way too sleepy to really register it. It wasn't until I woke up this morning with Mister Menu hovering nearby that it really sank in. Worse, he was hovering to deliver some important news.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Snoozing skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank E is a free rank!I had had plans for which skill to pick up next. Sure, those plans weren't fixed yet, but I wanted something useful to grab, not Snoozing. What kind of skill was that?Sure, I woke up feeling refreshed, and well-rested, and like I was one big stretch away from the start of a perfect day, but that wasn't what I had wanted.The skill's description didn't help overly much either.SnoozingRank E — 00%The ability to sleep well. As you practice this skill, your sleep will improve. You can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and awaken when you will it."You know, it's not the worst skill I've ever seen," Caprica said as she took another sip. "In fact, I know a lot of people that would love something like it. My father complains at length about how little sleep he gets. And I imagine that the skill will only make it better as it levels up.""Do you know anything about this kind of skill?" I asked."A little," she said. "Most people avoid them, I think, but as you know, Slyphfree is the world's leader in medicine and magical healing, and a lot of our healers suggest that everyone keep at least one skill related to self-healing."I blinked at that. "Self-healing? Do I need a special skill for that? I... noticed that I heal from bruises and stuff a lot faster than I should here already, but I thought that was just levelling up and getting better stats.""Oh, yes, the higher your level the faster your body heals from minor ailments," Caprica said with a dismissive wave from her free hand. "It's a confluence of your Health and Resilience stats. There are entire papers on the subject. Of course, both will increase as you level up, though the rate depends on what kind of class you have, of course."I nodded. More physical classes increased the more physical stats, more magical classes the more magical stats. I was pretty sure Cinnamon Bun Bun and Wonderlander were both more or less balanced, however, which was also fine."Okay, so what's self-healing then?""It's what it says on the cover," Caprica replied. "Skills that empower your healing of yourself. Usually they're passive skills. Ah, I think some evolutions of the Meditation skills have it. Some tanks like myself have Health Regeneration as a skill. But mostly our healers mean stuff like Meditative Gardening, or Second Wind, there are some Symbiosis skills for people who tend to animals that can spread shared healing. And then there are skills that help you sleep. It might not be a self-healing skill just yet, but I suspect that given a rank up or two you might find that Snoozing will help you heal."Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon."Well, that does sound nice, I guess," I said.I was just sixteen though, I didn't need to worry about waking up with ache-y knees or anything like that yet."It's still not the kind of skill that I want," I said."Well, you could get rid of it," Caprica said."How?" I asked."Merge it, for one, or just get rid of the class the skill comes from. If it's a dungeon class, then you can just re-pick it, and then re-rank all the same skills in that class.""That sounds like a lot of work," I said. "And I'd need to re-level Wonderlander, no?" That's where Snooze had snuck itself, right into the open slot on Wonderlander.Caprica shrugged, then downed the last of her tea. "It's an option. Besides, I've heard that re-levelling the same class a second time is significantly easier than doing it the first time."I worked my jaw, considering it. But... well, that sounded like a lot of work just to get rid of one skill. Besides, I was happy with my other Wonderlander skills, and doing all of this didn't mean that I'd necessarily regain the same ones. And I would have to sleep, so there was a good chance I'd just end up getting Snooze again.That would really blow, so I wasn't gonna risk it."Oh well," I said with a sigh. "I guess I can just live with it. It's not that bad of a skill, I guess. Maybe I can combine it with something cool?" Hugging Proficiency would be so cool if I turned it into Snuggling Proficiency. Maybe I could combine it with Friendmaking to get a Slumber Party skill?It wasn't like me to be so grumpy about something. When I started my adventure on Dirt, I was happy with whatever skill I got... well, with the exception of Cute, but that was just the world being a mean-spirited bully."Okay!" I said as I smacked my cheeks to wake up properly. "That's enough moping!""You've only been moping for an hour or so, at most," Caprica said. "You can probably afford to mope a little longer. As a princess I've had to mope for days, on occasion.""Maybe, but I don't like this mood, so I'm going to change it! I do have other skills I want, and I've decided on a short-list. Now I just need to figure out how to get all of them.""Oh?" Caprica asked. "What are you aiming for now?""I've shortened it to just six!" I said proudly."For four remaining slots?" she asked."Yeah. I think that some of them might be too hard to get, though."I pulled out my list paper, which now had a lot of choices scratched out. Only six of them were intact:— Mana Regeneration— Laugh in the Face of Death— Never Miss— Thick Skin— Graceful Under Pressure— Flight"Do you think I can get most of these?""Mana Regeneration is a well-known skill," Caprica said. "You won't have a hard time getting that one. Thick Skin is also easy to obtain, I have it myself, I can show you the basics. The rest of these, however... Flight is going to be hard unless you grow wings. Laugh in the Face of Death? I don't even know where to start with that. Never Miss and Graceful Under Pressure are tricky, but doable under the right circumstances.""I'm sure I can do it," I said. "For the Laugh one, I just need to find Death and then we can laugh about something together, right?""Broccoli, do you intend to somehow meet the metaphysical representation of the concept of death merely to tell it a joke?" Caprica asked."Or make friends," I said.She gazed at her mug. "I need more tea.""I'll ask Desiree about Graceful Under Pressure. She suggested that one, and I think she knows how to get it.""That's not a bad idea," Caprica said. "I can coach you through Thick Skin, if you want.""You'd do that for me?" I asked.Caprica smiled. "Of course. I don't mind at all. I'm sure Amaryllis would instruct you on Mana Regeneration as well, though to be honest, that one's very easy.""Yeah, I can kinda guess how to pick that one up. Just use up all my mana and let it regenerate a lot?"She nodded. "Pretty much. There might be a trick to it, but I suspect that just using your entire reserve over and over will do it. I'm sure you can figure out a spell or two to practice that."I grinned. I could do that, no problem!
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Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Four — Zap Zap
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Four — Zap Zap "Yowch!" I said with a hiss before I shook my arm. That had stung!Caprica's method for training Thick Skin as a skill involved, unsurprisingly, hurting my skin until it became thicker. Or at least, metaphorically thicker.That sounded all nice and easy on paper, but the training method Caprica had me using was a lot less fun.First, I had to get rid of one of the arms of my gambeson. That wasn't too hard, since the arms were just laced onto the torso, so they were removable. Probably to make it easier to repair and clean. There were lots of nifty little things like that with the clothing and such, I found.Then, I had to wrap a thick rubber band around my forearm. Every few minutes, when the stinging stopped hurting, I'd pull the band back, then let it snap back down.I wasn't sure if I was going to get Thick Skin as a skill after all."Don't be a cry-bunny," Caprica said. "I did that for a week before I earned the skill. I even had one of my ladies maids come into my room at night to snap my skin.""But this hurts," I complained before I dabbed some tears out of my eyes."I think that there's a common human expression that applies here," Caprica said. "One you might be familiar with, on account of having been one. It's 'no pain, no gain.'""I've heard of that before, but I really don't like it," I admitted. "Pain hurts. Why can't we have gains without it? Besides, it's not always true. When you gain friends it doesn't hurt at all. Actually, there's a lot of things you can gain that don't hurt. Nice memories, a good nap, what about stuff like spending a day looking at something pret— Ow!"I rubbed my arm where a sneaky Amaryllis had come around and snapped the band. "The expression is rather foolish," she agreed with a smug smile. "But I find the situation amusing enough that I don't think it matters. You haven't gained the skill yet, I take it?"I shook my head. "I'm reconsidering it as we speak.""Don't be a baby," Amaryllis said.I glared as hard as I could. "I'm not a baby. Not liking being hurt isn't a baby trait, it's a perfectly natural thing to want. Or not want, I guess.""Come now, I've never known you to be the sort of woman that gives up on things so easily," Amaryllis said. That warmed my heart a little. "Now, let's get started on that Mana Regeneration training?""Okay," I said.We made our way up to the top deck, where we had some room to practice without interruptions. We were only half a day out from Port Royal, so this would be my last chance to really practice stuff before we arrived."The basics of gaining the skill is quite simple," Amaryllis said. "You need to regenerate mana, over and over again. I think it's best done if you completely deplete yourself then build your stores all the way back up to your maximum.""I can do that," I said. The ship was about to be very clean. More so than usual, even."You might want to use up all of your mana practising a spell that you want to improve on," Amaryllis said. "Or using a mana-intensive skill that hasn't reached its peak. There's no point in practising if you can't do it efficiently."I frowned at that. She might not be wrong. I could spend all of my mana on huge Cleaning moves, or I could use it up on other things. I was getting pretty good with my mini fireballs, but more practice couldn't hurt. Making them faster and bigger could help.On the other hand, they tended to pop when I made them wrong, and if I was pumping a fireball full with all of my mana and then it destabilised, I wouldn't be dealing with a small pop but a big boom.Big fiery explosions were an absolute no-go aboard an airship.I glanced at my skills list, in case I could find something else to practice on, when I noticed a skill I'd been neglecting, and it was one that happened to be pretty mana-intensive too. "Proportion Distortion!" I said."Your size-changing spell?" Amaryllis asked. "You haven't capped that one, right?""Yup! Still have a ways to go before it hits one hundred percent," I said with a grin. "What about you, do you have anything to practice?"If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.Amaryllis smiled. It was a smile that made me instantly nervous. "As a matter of fact, I do, Broccoli.""Amaryllis, why am I feeling afraid?" I asked."That's likely a similar reaction to what small prey animals feel when they notice their natural predator around," Amaryllis said. It wasn't very reassuring. "I happen to have a general skills called Precision Magic. It's still got some ways to go before it becomes a truly useful skill. The best way to practice it is, of course, to use magic very precisely. For example, I could use it to hit a small, quick-moving target."I felt my ears wilt. "Amaryllis," I said.She smiled and raised a hand. There was a snap-snap-snap as little electrical sparks flew between her talons. "It'll even double as Thick Skin practice!""Amy!" I said. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I didn't wanna be zapped!Amaryllis huffed, it was a 'oh fine,' sort of huff, and I felt myself calming down a little. "I won't actually hurt you. Come on, I'm not a brute. Although, it would be nice to practice together.""As long as you're not making it hurt, I guess it can't be that bad. It'll be dodging practice too," I said.She smiled again. "That's the spirit! Now, get dodging!"I eeped, jumping up and pushing some mana to activate Proportion Distortion. Between one hop and the next, I felt like the entire world had grown to twice the size it had been just moments before. The rails on the edge of the deck no longer stopped at my thigh, but at my chest, then they were a smidge taller than I was.My ears flopped behind me, and I felt my tail straining at the hole in my skirt. I still hadn't gotten the knack to make them shrink along with the rest of me, so both my ears and tail stayed at the same size while the rest of me shrunk. It was a little awkward because my ears now trailed on the floor behind me as I ran.A small zap-hiss sounded out, and I hopped up just in time to dodge a teeny-tiny bolt of electrical energy that singed the deck.I ducked another the next, then dove forwards to avoid a trio of little zaps. Amaryllis really did have to work on her aim if she wasn't able to hit me from so close up. Or maybe her aim would be a lot better if she wasn't cackling and laughing maniacally."How's your mana holding up?" Caprica asked from where she sat on a rail. She let her fairy wings spread out behind her to soak in the sun a little."It's not tha-ouch!" I hopped forwards a few times and rubbed at my behind where Amaryllis had scored a hit. It didn't hurt that much, less than the rubber band, but it was still painful. "It's holding," I said.My mana was dropping steadily as I continued to round around the deck and tried to use whatever I came across as cover from Amaryllis. She was at least staying stationary, so it made it easier to tell where her attacks were coming from.If I loosened my hold on the skill, I'd start to revert back to my normal size, which was handy because having longer legs made running so much easier.I had never really used Proportion Distortion seriously as a skill in fights and such. It was nice for grabbing things in the cabinets that were too tall, or for fetching something under my bed, but otherwise it didn't come up very often, but it had some really good potential as a skill to unbalance an opponent.As long as the opponent didn't have armoured shins, then this skill might actually be a lot stronger than I'd given it credit.After running around for a couple of minutes, I started to run out of breath and mana at about the same time. "O-okay," I said through some panting. I let go of the skill, and allowed myself to flop onto the deck. "Urgh... everything is spinny.""That's mana exhaustion," Amaryllis said as she walked over. "It's a right pain in the rear. Let me know if you feel like you're going to vomit. The least I can do is turn you onto your side.""Amaryllis," I said as I looked up to her. "I don't know if I like training. It's hard."She huffed. There was no pity there.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Five — Money Talks
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Five — Money Talks I was laid out flat on the ground, taking in breaths as deep gulps while I allowed sweat to pool on my forehead and slowly soak into the back of my shirt. I was probably a little stinky, actually, but I'd clean myself off later, once the sweat had done its job of cooling me off.A familiar vulpine face appeared above me. "Are you well?" Desiree asked.A birdy face appeared next to her, blocking out the rest of the sunlight pouring down onto me. Amaryllis frowned a little. "It's mana exhaustion. Combined with the more traditional sort of exhaustion, I think.""Uh-huh," I agreed, because that was just two noises I could make while exhaling."How's your stomach?" Amaryllis asked."Ugh.""I see," she replied with a knowing nod. "Mana exhaustion is... well, there are unkind and improper words to describe it, but I won't descend to that level here and now. Suffice to say that it's unenjoyable."Desiree nodded. "I, too, have exhausted myself in this very manner, expending such a quantity of mana that even twitching a single tail was beyond my reach. Nevertheless, I find myself impressed with you, Captain Bunch! You acquitted yourself admirably. I particularly enjoyed seeing you scamper about like a mouse to avoid Miss Amaryllis' electrical discharges.""I have burns on my butt," I said."Hmm, those are likely from the aforementioned electrical discharges," Desiree said knowingly."If you can talk, then you're unlikely to lose your lunch," Amaryllis said. "How are you feeling?""I'm better," I admitted. "But I'm not sure if I want to do that again. Not right now.""Oh no, at most we can do this once a day, perhaps twice," Amaryllis said. "Any more than that and we'll risk burning you out. Besides, this is kind of time-consuming, no? By the time you're back on your feet we'll be arriving at Port Royal.""Wait, already?" I asked. I forced myself to sit up and... yup, the Harpy Mountains were right there, coming up to the north. I could pick out a few other ships in the air, now that I was looking, so we really were getting closer. "Oh, I'm gonna need to fetch my captain's hat," I said with a groan."We have a few minutes, don't worry," Amaryllis said. "You did well enough, but no new skill?"I shook my head. "No new skill," I said."It'll take some effort," Amaryllis said. "Speaking of which... you spent a lot of time dodging," she said leadingly."Indeed," Desiree said. "Have you considered training Graceful Under Pressure at the same time?""I can do that?" I asked."You're already training for Mana Regeneration and Thick Skin simultaneously," Amaryllis said. "What's one more besides an order of magnitude more effort on your part?"Desiree nodded. "I can assist you, of course. I don't enjoy feeling as though I'm extraneous, so I would be honoured to aid your generous personage.""Aww, you're not extraneous," I said as I finally pushed myself into standing. "We should definitely practise together!" Desiree smiled and gave me a hand to help me to my feet. I wobbled a bit, my legs all jelly, but then I stabilised well enough.A look ahead, now that I was standing tall enough to see over the railing, revealed Port Royal approaching us. We were maybe an hour away, as the crow flies.I turned towards Desiree. "Let's talk more once we're docked, okay?" I asked.She nodded, then headed off with a swish of her twin tails. I didn't get to follow though, because Amaryllis touched my upper arm with the back of a talon. "One moment," she said."What's up?" I asked. I finally allowed some Cleaning magic to seep through to wick away the sweat and regretted it right away as a wave of nausea washed over me. Oh, right, I'd just used up all of my mana, and now I was pulling at the dregs for sweat-removal.Amaryllis eyed me for a moment, making sure I could stay on my feet. "We need to talk financials.""Are we broke?" I asked, a little nervous all of a sudden.She sniffed. "No, but we might be one day with the rate at which we're spending and not earning. I mapped out that Sue-Chef dungeon, it'll earn us a very small sum from the guild since they have a pretty accurate report already. I was hoping you could come with me to hand it in? That, and the other reports I've penned about the dungeons we've explored."This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source."Right, I can do that!" I said. "Is there anything else?""I want us to try to obtain a steady income. There will be missions available from the guild, and with four registered members in our crew now, we can start splitting off to take care of more missions across a wider range," Amaryllis said. "The real prize would be getting the Beaver Cleaver marked as a sanctioned Exploration Guild ship.""What would that mean?" I asked."In practical terms? It wouldn't change too much onboard the ship. We might have to keep a minimum standard of cleanliness and maintenance, but we do that already. And we'd have a flag to fly as well, with the guild's crest."I nodded along, that sounded easy enough. "And in... uh, impractical terms?""That's not how that works," Amaryllis said. "But I understand what you mean. Being guild-sanctioned would mean that the ship would be considered as part of the guild. It means that every so often, we'd be compelled to take certain missions, fly the flag, and generally represent the guild. I'll look into it some more, but I think we might count as a mobile headquarters in remote locations as well, if we encounter members out in some distant corner of the world.""Oh, that's neat.""It also means money," Amaryllis said. "Or... a way to defray expenses, at least. Every time we're back in Port Royal or another major city with a strong guild, we'll be able to hand in an expense report. The guild will cover some of our operation costs."I perked up. "So we'll dock for free, and get free food, and fuel?""I don't know about the food, but the fuel is a certainty. And I think the guild will cover something like twenty percent of docking fees.""Uh, that's not a lot, is it?""It's more than the none they cover now and that we're paying out of pocket," Amaryllis said.That was fair."Will we have to fill out forms or something for that?" I asked. "It does sound like a good idea.""Of course, but I'll take care of the paperwork then have a solicitor check over it just in case. I suspect that our recent work with Mathilde will help in that regard. We're in the good books of the guildmaster, and that's worth more than you could imagine.""Are you sure? I have a very active imagination," I said.Amaryllis huffed and gave my tummy a poke. "Don't be too foolhardy," she said."It won't kill you to say 'silly,' you know," I said."No," Amaryllis shot the idea down. "Get to the helm, Captain Bunch." She smiled a little, giving the title a mocking tone that I figured she didn't actually mean. But she wasn't wrong.I got back to the wheel, where Clive was currently stationed. I didn't push him away; he knew what he was doing better than I probably ever would, so I left him to it, but tried to help by rousing the crew and then calling people out so that they were in their positions.There were always a few tricky manoeuvres to do when coming into the dock. But Clive handled it like a champ, and soon the Beaver Cleaver was tied down and resting at Port Royal.We were back!Rhawrexdee swooped by above, and then flew upwards where he was met by another, slightly smaller and definitely slimmer dragon. Cholondee and her brother circled far overhead. I turned towards Booksie, curious, and she noticed my look. "He's saying hi," she said. "They always meet when one of them comes back from a trip. The two of them argue incessantly and both profess to hating each other, but I've rarely met siblings that are as closely knit," she said."That's cute!" I said. "I wish I had a big brother who was a dragon to share my stories with! Or a smaller dragon sibling. I'd accept both." I nodded.Booksie giggled.I took a moment to gather everyone up, then we split up our tasks. The crew deserved some shore leave, and I didn't want to let Booksie return home without an escort! That left a few that wanted to stay on the ship behind. All of us who were Exploration Guild members would be heading out though, we had a mission to find!
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Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Six — Where Do Babies Come From?
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Six — Where Do Babies Come From? Since we had to go to the Guild anyway, it only made sense that the official members would form one of the shore parties and be the same ones to escort Booksie home. The exception was Desiree, she insisted on coming with us, and I didn't have it in me to say no.Of course, Booksie could have returned with Rhawrexdee, but she admitted that the last time they'd had a date in the city, the city council had been somewhat annoyed at all of the destruction of public property. The roads of Port Royal were nice and wide, but they weren't 'dragon' wide.Booksie sheepishly pointed to a row of street lights where only the bottom third of the poles remained. They were getting around to replacing those.So, she told Rhawrexdee-when he returned from saying hi to his sister-that she would be seeing him at the shop. Then she smooched him on the cheek, and I had to cover Awen's eyes and my own because that was a lot.I noticed that we were getting a few looks as we made our way across the city. Whether that was because people recognized Booksie, or if we just stood out for being such a mixed group, I didn't know. We had two buns, a harpy, a human, a catperson and a foxgirl, which I supposed did mean that we were halfway to a menagerie.Booksie paused at the front of her shop and turned to us. "Did you want to come in?" she asked."I mean, I am carrying all your stuff," Calamity noted. "You want it back, right?" He had Booksie's things with him. She'd packed light, but had accumulated a few little souvenirs along the way, as one did. Calamity had been gentleman... gentlecatly enough to carry her things for her.Booksie laughed. "Right, I can take that from you. You're all heading to the Exploration Guild next, right?""Yup!" I said."In that case, try to grab work that's around the city! I'd appreciate having you all visit while you're still around Port Royal. Plus the wedding... oh my World, I haven't made invitations yet." Booksie squeezed the bridge of her nose with forefinger and thumb. "Gosh, this little vacation was nice, but now that I'm back I'm kind of realising that I left a lot of work undone.""We'll be around," I promised before raising my arms. "Bye-bye hugs?"Bye-bye hugs were had by all. It was the best way to say goodbye to a friend, and the bit of pain that came from saying goodbye was mitigated by knowing that we'd be back soon enough and that Booksie was probably safe.Just in the time we'd been around, I noticed two guard patrols on the street and several ruffians sitting and chatting in the corners. The shadow of a dragon even passed over us. I was sure there were more eyes around that I couldn't see. Booksie would be as safe as a bun could be."Alright!" I said as we started back towards the centre of the city. "Straight to the guild?""I can't imagine anyone needs to stop for food or the like," Amaryllis said. "We had supper just an hour ago.""I mean," Calamity began. Amaryllis gave him a look, and he turned his gaze elsewhere. "Nevermind.""Hmhp, that's right," Amaryllis said. "Now, best behaviour at the guild. We can pick which mission to take, but there's also some leeway on the part of the guild itself. They can refuse us for a multitude of reasons.""Such as?" Desiree asked."For one, they might say that a certain mission requires a certain kind of expert on our team that we lack. Their requirements can even be entirely reasonable. I wouldn't dream of taking up a mission to study geology with our current team and crew, for example," Amaryllis said."Ah, and if we take on maintenance or repair missions, I'm the only mechanic," Awen added. "Um, for hunting missions we just have Calamity.""Exactly," Amaryllis said. "We do cover a fairly wide range of skills and experiences here, so that'll count for much, but we don't have the depth that a team of experts might have. In any case, let's be aware of our limits."We crossed Port Royal with ease. The city seemed to be in something of a festive mood. I noticed a lot of musicians out on the street and plenty of people laughing and chatting while out and about. "Do you know if there's something special going on?" I asked.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation."Not as far as I know," Amaryllis said."A festival, maybe?" Awen asked."Or a seasonal thing," Calamity said with his ears twitching. "I think I overheard someone say something about hatching. Could be that the little baby grenoils are being born right now?""Huh, you know, I never really asked about how baby grenoil are made," I said. "And now that I think about it, I've never seen a grenoil child. Like, there's younger ones, and those you can tell apart because they're a little smaller and don't look as wrinkly, but I've never seen a kid grenoil.""You know, I haven't either," Amaryllis said. "It's rare that I'll be blindsided by something so obviously culturally relevant.""Ah, I know this one." Awen said. We turned her way, and she shrugged. "It was part of a lesson I had. Uh, since Mattergrove and Deepmarsh are neighbours.""Deepmarsh neighbours the Harpy Mountains as well, and I've heard nothing," Amaryllis said. "But do go on."Awen nodded. "I think Deepmarsh keeps it kind of private, but grenoils are born as tadpoles. They have these birthing... places. They're very secretive about the locations, and they're well-protected.""I guess that explains why we don't see any kids? Do they stay in that place until they're old?" I asked.Awen shrugged. "I think so? Or at least old enough to walk around on their own. Baby grenoil don't have legs."I blinked. I supposed that made some sense. They looked like frogs, or maybe toads, so it made sense that they'd have a sort of tadpole stage."From what I understand, a family will have their own pool that they buy or rent in one of their birthing places. The lady and the gentleman that want a child will go there and, ah, um." Awen flushed a little. "A-and then, a few months later, the eggs hatch. The strongest are picked to be the next generation of the family, and the rest are pushed towards other things. It's a little weird, I think.""Huh," I said. I wasn't sure if I liked that."Anyway, the tadpoles will show up once they can walk around, and then they're reunited with their family and start their education. I think they're only children for a couple of years. Not like humans that are babies for a long time, then take a while to grow old enough to take care of themselves."Desiree hummed. "They don't have a kit stage, where they are more tail than child?""Wait, more tail than child?" I asked.Desiree nodded. "Of course! As a babe, my tail was nearly as long as it is now. Though of course I only had the one, and my tails have lengthened a little."I had a brain flash image of a tiny Desiree as a kid with a tail that was longer than she was tall and all fluff. It was a very cute mental image. "That's so strange," I said."There's nothing strange about it," Desiree said. "It's perfectly natural.""Oh, uh, yeah, I guess it is," I said. "Sorry. It's just different than what I'm used to.""All of you mammals are weird," Amaryllis said. "Being born from an egg is how it ought to be. Can you imagine giving birth? That's disgusting and uncouth. Not to mention unsanitary."We all gave her a look and she huffed, dismissing our curiosity with an upwards tilt of her nose."What about cat people?" I asked Calamity.He shrugged. "Same as humans and buns and such, I suppose," he said.I sighed. At least that was normal."At least after the baby loses its second head," he continued and I almost missed a step. Calamity's sharp eyes caught me and he guffawed in laughter. "Ah-haha! You believed me!""Wait, so you didn't have a baby head that you lost?" I asked."What? Of course not, I was pulling your tail," he said with a dismissive wave and a chuckle. "You know, for some this is a delicate thing to talk about, you might want to pick up a book about it. Nyeah?"Amaryllis sighed. "I know you're flexible enough to fit your foot in your mouth, but unless you want to get used to the taste of toe, then maybe take a minute to read up on it first?"I nodded along. I was definitely going to see if Booksie had something on the subject. I didn't want to embarrass myself any further if I could avoid it.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Seven — This Sounds Like a Job for Broccoli's Bunch
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Seven — This Sounds Like a Job for Broccoli's Bunch We arrived at the Exploration Guild to find it way less busy than it had been the last time we poked our noses in. The guild's front doors were propped open by a small wooden doorstopper, letting some fresh mid-day air in and letting Explorers and curious busy-bodies slip in and out with ease.We ambled in as a group, but soon split into two smaller groups. Awen, Calamity and Desiree stuck by the front where there was a small historical display. Desiree pointed to various maps and old artefacts and asked the others questions about them. Awen read the plaques and tried to answer as honestly as she could.Calamity gave his own commentary-ridiculous tall tales that I was pretty sure he was inventing on the spot.Unfortunately, Desiree was nodding to everything he said, and I was a little worried that Desiree would start to have some strange opinions about local history. But Amaryllis tugged me forwards before I could do anything about it, and soon we were at the counter at the far end of the room and Amaryllis was flipping the mission book open."Let's see," she muttered. "There's... less of a selection than I expected."The secretary behind the counter who'd been happy to let us look at the book, glanced up at that. "Oh, there's an increase in the number of Explorers at the guild. I'm sure you noticed? A lot of them were pulled back from long-term missions nearby and now they're taking on any local mission we have."Amaryllis hummed. She didn't look happy about it. "And now we're out of work too, I presume?""The Guildleader has increased mission payout while... discouraging Explorers from taking on work too far from the city. We did have a lot more potential missions than usual come in, however!"Amaryllis grumbled some, but leafed through the book all the same. I looked at it from over her shoulder. She passed a mission to hunt for some ancient artefact, then another to protect a caravan going to the capital, then a third that seemed to be asking for someone to camp next to a lake for a week and take frequent notes about its disposition. "These aren't great for us," she said."The camping one's too long, otherwise it might be a nice vacation," I said."Not at the rate they're offering, it's not," she said."Ah, just the women I was thinking of," a familiar voice said.I looked up to find the Guildleader standing by the corridor leading to one of her offices. "Hi!" I said with a happy wave.Mathilde nodded to the both of us. "So, you're back. How did it go? And before you speak, Miss Bunch, is the answer to my question something that should be delivered in privacy?"I blinked and thought about it, but Amaryllis beat me to the punch. "It went well, Lady Mariejoy," she said with a slight bow. "Lady Booksie is back home, safe and sound as of less than an hour ago. She's grown a little as well.""Good," Mathilde said with a stern nod. "Now, what kind of trouble are you bringing to my guild this time?"Amaryllis sniffed. "Please, while we happened to deliver some bad news a few times, the delivery of said news was a boon to you and the guild."Mathilde smiled a froggy smile. "I suppose so. Are you looking for a mission, then?""We are," Amaryllis said. "Ah, and I wish to deliver this, as well. It's a report on the condition of the dungeon we visited with our VIP.""VIB," I corrected. The B was for Bun or Booksie, either way worked. Oh! Maybe VIF? For Friend!Amaryllis ignored me, which she was frustratingly good at and pulled a small set of folded papers from her coat and held them towards the guild leader.Mathilde regarded the papers for an awkward moment, before raising her eyebrow. "I'm not the secretary, Miss Albatross," she said.Amaryllis cleared her throat and turned to hand the report to the secretary rather stiffly. "Yes, right. It's not so important, I suppose. While I have your attention, however, I was hoping we could discuss having the guild... sanction our ship.""The Beaver Cleaver, correct?" Mathilde asked."Yes," Amaryllis said. "What other ship did you think I meant? Our skiff?""There's Abraham's Shady Lady," Mathilde replied. "Which is a ship I will never sponsor or sanction. The World itself could beg on its hands and knees and I'd refuse."Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.I decided not to question that. There was some history there that all of my social skills told me I didn't want any part of. "But you'd think about it for the Beaver?" I asked, hopeful.She considered us both, then our friends further in. "Hmm. Perhaps. You'll still be around Port Royal for some time, correct?""Until sometime after the marriage, at least," Amaryllis said."Good. Here, I was about to add this to the mission book." Mathilde turned a page around and handed it to Amaryllis and I. I scanned the paper, then tried to keep up as Amaryllis leafed through it. Did she have a Speed Reading skill? I couldn't recall."This is for two missions," she said. "But the area overlaps?""As might the subject matter," Mathilde said. "Give it to the secretary, she needs to file it in any case, but it'll be yours to take if you think yourselves capable. It's... not a delicate matter, but it's one I'd like handled with some courtesy."Mathilde spun on a heel... did she have heels? I looked at her feet, and they were stuffed into surprisingly large shoes, mostly because her feet were wider than I was used to seeing. Did grenoil need their own special shoemakers? I supposed that made sense. I recalled seeing a lot of them barefoot as well, which also made sense if their feet were particularly suited to swimming and travelling on muddy terrain."Broccoli?" Amaryllis asked, snapping my back to the moment. "Are you alright?""Sorry, thinking about feet.""I refuse to even think about the implications," Amaryllis said."What do you mean?""Nevermind that," Amaryllis said. "Did you see what the mission was for?"I shook my head. "I saw a bit, but you skimmed through it too quickly. It's two missions, right?""Yes, two missions," Amaryllis said as she handed the file to the secretary who took it with a kindly smile. "Both to the west of Port Royal and down within the Dark woods. A dangerous place to go gallivanting, but one I think you've explored.""Only a little," I said."In any case, the first is a cavern that needs inspecting, and the second it an Exploration Guild member who needs to be found. They were supposed to report back in some time ago and failed to do so, Mathilde is worried."I smiled. "A rescue mission, then!" I said. I did recall seeing a sketch in the file of an older grenoil man."Something like that," Amaryllis said. "Once I have a copy of the file, and the attention of the others, I'll go over it in more details. We won't be needing the Beaver for this one. It's not that far.""We could use the Redemption. It's been a while since we took it out."She considered it, then shrugged. "We'll see."The secretary took a minute or two to copy the file over. She worked with both hands at the same time, copying two pages at once, drawings and all, with what had to be a skill. That, or she was very, very talented. Soon enough, the mission book was updated, a copy was stored in a file folder behind her, the original was set aside in an OUT box, and a fresh copy was placed on the counter for us. "Here you go, dearies. Be safe now! Find something spectacular!"I giggled. "We will! And we'll try!" I said."Which answer was for which prompt?" Amaryllis asked."Hmm, both to both, maybe?" I said with a laugh as I skipped back to the others. "We have a job!" I cheered."Ah, we do?" Awen asked. "What's the mission?""Inspecting some cave and finding a lost explorer," I said."And mapping the cave out within reason," Amaryllis said as she read the page. She frowned. "We might want to pick up a book on geology. A field-guide, at least. We're not prospectors, but we might as well take a reference.""Are you hoping to find silver and gold?" Desiree asked."Not in this mountain chain, I don't think," Amaryllis said. "I just want to have a detailed report at the end."I nodded. "She wants a good grade in Explorer 101.""There's no such thing," Amaryllis said."Anyway, it'll be fun! A bit of camping, some trekking through the Darkwoods, and then back to Port Royal!""The Darkwoods... the very dangerous ones that are known for being dark and dangerous?" Calamity asked. "Because I'm in. That sounds like a blast!"Next to him, both Awen and Desiree shared a look. Neither seemed quite as enthused.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Get Your Stuff Together
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Get Your Stuff Together The mission's brief didn't have a due date on it, exactly, but as I read over the details it was pretty clear that the Exploration Guild kind of expected us to get to this sooner rather than later. "It's..." I looked up to the sky as we walked out. "Still before evening. Do you think we should leave for this mission today?"Amaryllis hummed. "I would think so, yes. It'll require seeing who's interested in coming, of course, then preparing rations, tents, and supplies in general for the mission. We'll want to over rather than under pack."I nodded. "Okay. Should we take care of that as a group, or, uh...?"Amaryllis tapped her chin, then eyed all of us. "Calamity, come with me. I could use a pair of arms and I suspect your hunting skills and knowledge might help me.""Alright," Calamity said."And what shall the rest of us do?" Desiree asked. "If I may enquire.""Do you want to do the mission with us?" I asked. She considered it for only a moment before nodding. I grinned back. "In that case, Awen and I can get the other supplies we need? We'll need to grab our tent, maybe get another and some food, right?""Maybe keep an eye out for cheap cave-exploration gear," Amaryllis said."Ah, I think we can do that," Awen agreed. "What about the others on the Beaver?""That's where we can meet up!" I said. "We'll buy extra food and such, it's not like it will go to waste. And then we can take off before it's too late in the day to head out."That seemed like a reasonable-enough plan. The area we'd have to explore was about a day's walk from Port Royal. If we were quick tonight we might manage to arrive early tomorrow, and then it would just be a quick trip back."I'll arrange a way to stay in contact with the Beaver," Amaryllis said. "If things somehow, inevitably, manage to go south, we'll have some allies to call upon."That sounded good too. With that said and done, Amaryllis reluctantly pulled out her purse from within her leather jacket where it was tied to her coat by a small piece of braided leather cord. She deposited a dozen small coins into my waiting palm, mostly silver coins, but there were a pair of golden coins there too. "Awen, I'm trusting you to make sure that Broccoli doesn't overspend.""I'm not that bad with money, am I?" I asked.Amaryllis eyed me, then nodded. "I suppose you're not so bad."I know how to shop for a deal, and I always picked from the discount rack when I could. I'd become very good at not spending money thanks to not having much money to spend. Plus I had Awen to help me figure out the conversion rates between gold and silver. I inspected the coins and noted that not all of them were from the same country, and even those that were had different shapes even within the same kind of metal.As far as I could tell, locals just knew what was worth how much at a glance. I was pretty sure it wasn't a skill, but rather just something people picked up by osmosis."Alright! So one big tent, and enough food for... call it three days, just in case?" I asked."One tent?" Amaryllis asked."It's warmer that way," I said.She shook her head. "It'd be wiser to have several smaller ones. Not to mention the ease of carrying them. But I'll leave that up to you. Do be aware that if you make a poor choice, I will be mocking and complaining about it at length."I pouted. She'd definitely do that.With our plans hashed out, we took off. Coincidentally we were heading in the same direction at first, which made our goodbyes kind of funny, but soon enough we split. Amaryllis wanted to grab a book first, then the rest of the stuff she was going for."Okay!" I said once we split off properly. "Food first, or gear first?" I asked Awen and Desiree."Ah, I think it would make sense to get the gear first," Awen said. "It's the bigger of the two expenses. Food can be cheaped out on, but it shouldn't be. Um, food also can go bad, so the later we grab it the better.""Won't it be going bad as we speak?" I asked.Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!She stared at me for a moment. "Any shop that sells food will have someone with skills to keep it from spoiling.""Oh," I said. I hadn't thought of that. Or really noticed. There were probably some pretty big economic implications to an entire food system where things didn't spoil as quickly and therefore food waste was much lower, but I was here to have fun with my friend, not ponder stuff. "Okay then, gear first!"We travelled to one of the middle sections of the city. There were probably a few nicer shops in the ritzier districts, but they'd also charge a lot more, and we were on a budget. Besides, middling quality stuff would be good enough for a couple of days.Desiree pointed out a shop that specialised in delver gear, and we slipped into it.The store was laid out with a counter at one end and three rows of racks in the centre. More gear was fixed to the walls. They sold a bit of everything. There were some weapons behind the counter, and armour on some stands, but it was less... knight-y armour and more tough leathers and gambesons that still had some good articulation to them. The kind of armour someone in a dungeon might want to have rather than someone looking for a fight."Hello hello," a woman said from behind the counter. "Can I help you, dears?"I nodded and described what we were looking for. Tents with enough space to hold at least six, with maybe a bit more room than that. The woman's eyebrows rose as I asked for more stuff. Some portable cooking gear, ropes, a first aid kit, some blankets and towels-because having either was a must!-and then I noticed a small set of mixed potions that I pointed to. "What's that?""Ah, that's an emergency potion kit," she said. "General healing potion, anti-venom, anti-poison, a potion that slows bleeding, and another that grants night vision. You're buying a lot of gear, are you new delvers?"I blinked and shook my head, then pointed to the pin on my bandoleer. "We're from the Exploration Guild," I said."Oh! Our eternal rivals," the woman said with a titter. "Don't be worried now, it's an old, old rivalry.""Between those who delve dungeons and those who explore them?" Desiree asked. "Would the two careers not share more similarities than not?"The lady nodded. "They're similar to the lay-person. But delvers dive for resources, to gain wealth and to empower and improve their community. Explorers delve to map out a dungeon and see what's within. They'll rarely face the same dungeon twice, and they have little need to learn how to properly exploit a dungeon."I nodded along. That sounded about right. "I don't see why we'd need to be rivals," I said."Ah, but some Explorers think themselves better, and more often than not, Explorers are from a... richer class of citizen," she said. "Delvers, meanwhile... well, we think of ourselves as humble salt-of-the-world sorts. It's all hogwash, of course. We do have a standing discount for Exploration Guild members!"I smiled. She was rather nice. I asked if she had any other suggestions, and she pointed to some water purification filters and some magical light sources, which were apparently common gear to bring along, but we didn't quite need any of that. We did end up grabbing a grappling hook, mostly because Awen wanted it.Then, with the shopkeeper's suggestion, we crossed a few streets and made our way over to a small store run by an old grenoil who made trail rations for delvers. He had his own canning machine and made big vats of soup that he canned himself. We bought enough trail bars to keep a small army going, and a few cans of soup as well, because it smelled really tasty and it would be nice to have something warm like that while out and about.Our last stop was to buy some hard-tack and crackers to snack on. They'd be tooth-breakingly hard if we didn't eat them in the next couple of days, but we always had some soup to dip them in!And with that, we had just about everything we'd need to get going!Now we just had to figure out who'd be coming along. That, and I wanted to see if I could figure out a way to train my skills while on the road!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Several-Day Trip
Chapter Four Hundred and Eight-Nine — Several-Day Trip "I think I'd rather stay, actually," Caprica said. She was in her room on the Beaver reading from a journal of some sort.I tilted my head way off to the side to be able to read the title. The Royal Burden? It looked like a magazine for princesses or something... which was a weird thing to have a magazine for. How many princesses were there that might buy a copy of that?Maybe it was marketed towards girls who wanted to become princesses? I decided not to question it too much. Caprica could read whatever she wanted to. "You want to stay here?" I asked."Want is a strong word," Caprica said. "It's more that I have a few things to look into at the embassy, and I think that Booksie will need more help than she thinks, when it comes to organising her wedding. I want to assist where I can.""That's nice of you!" I said."It's pragmatic of me," Caprica corrected. "I want to ingratiate myself to the local dragons. They are... less evil than I'd been raised to imagine. Not that they're sinless, exactly, but still, I think it should be possible to... discuss our differences. I was always led to believe that the average dragon was more of a rampaging, clever animal than a person. I've learned differently now.""Oh. That's actually a lot of growth," I said."Why thank you," Caprica replied. "In any case, I doubt the average sylph would care about my interpretation of things, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do my duty as a princess and representative of Sylphfree and at least try to forge some amicable relationships. The local Grenoil of Deepmarsh certainly worked something out, and it has been good for them."I nodded along. "It's nice to have a good dragon neighbour.""It's also a massive economic boon," Caprica pointed out. "Do you have any idea how much gold they're saving on anti-piracy actions alone? Nevermind the lowered cost of defence. No one will attack Port Royal. Well, no one sane. It'd take several heroic persons to even make the attempt, and those kinds of high-levelled individuals can sweep away small armies already, no amount of additional budget would help against them to begin with.""Uh-huh," I said. Caprica sure was approaching this from an angle I hadn't thought of. "Well, staying is okay! So far it'll be myself, Awen, Amaryllis, Calamity, and Desiree said she wanted to come too. The Scallywags want shore leave, and Clive and the other harpy boys want to stick around to oversee any work on the Beaver and maybe get some time off the ship too.""This trip of yours will only be for a day or two, correct?" Caprica asked."About two days, yeah," I said. "Maybe three if things take longer than expected. Amaryllis is within banking-ring distance of Port Royal, so she should be able to send messages back!""Fantastic. In that case, keep me informed. If anything goes very wrong I can have a contingent of sylph men-at-arms to your location within an hour or two."I smiled, then raised my arms. It was time for good-bye hugs. I made sure to squeeze extra-good, to make up for any lost time.Then I rejoined the others on the deck. We were waiting after Amaryllis and Calamity, who weren't quite back yet. I decided to take that time to practice on those skills I wanted some more.Awen joined in this time. She created a long pole with a glass plate dangling from a cord on the end. She was able to move the pole, making it longer and shorter and swinging it around me. My job was to not get smacked by the plate while also unleashing small bursts of compacted Fire magic at the plate. If I hit it hard enough it would shatter into hundreds of little pieces of broken glass.It was magical glass, of course, made by Awen's skills, so it would quickly dissipate into raw Glass aspect mana long before anyone risked a foot on a shard of it.By the time Amaryllis returned, I was sweaty and almost drained of both stamina and mana. "Really, Broccoli?" she asked."I was training!" I said."You were wasting valuable energy. I... congratulate you on putting in the effort, but I'm not sure if now was the time for that. That goes for you too, Awen!"Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings."Aww, sorry!" I said. "I think I'm getting better at a few things though.""Have you been training Thick Skin?" Amaryllis asked.I froze for a moment. "No?""Hmph," she said, unimpressed. She might have been right to be. I was mostly practising my aim and quick spell casting, and of course draining my mana to eventually pick up Mana Regeneration. That was a skill that I definitely wanted to grab!"Anyway! Are we ready to go?" I asked."Let's just make sure we've got even packs first," Calamity said. "We don't want anyone carrying more than they can handle, but we also want everyone carrying a few things, otherwise things will end with someone lugging along more than they ought to. Nya never wants to be the one with the massive backpack while the others are light as a feather."We had a few packs, including my old backpack, so we divided up the food and camping supplies I'd grabbed between them until everyone had a few things to carry. The extra space ended up filled with a few non-essentials. Extra blankets, extra changes of clothes, a few small tools that were a little more situational.When I hefted my backpack on, I felt the weight of it, but it wasn't all that bad. I'd had heavier packs going to school, and they had been less ergonomic. "Okay!" I cheered. "Let's get going!"Amaryllis, as our group's designated busy-body, was the one to take the lead. She had scouted out the quickest path from the docks to the bottom edge of the city where we paid for a cable car ride down to the little town at the base of the mountain. It was that or ride down in a carriage. Or we could walk, but we'd be doing a whole lot of that soon, so not-walking for a little bit wasn't so bad."How's everyone feeling?" I asked as we reached the edge of the little town at the base of the mountain. Actually, it was changing pretty quickly from what I remembered. There were a lot of buildings going up on the outskirts and it looked like there was a whole team repaving the road to turn it from packed earth to a more cobbled street."Already asking?" Calamity asked."Yeah! What if you have cramps already? Or bad shoes?" I asked in return. The concern was mostly for Desiree, who had brand new shoes we'd picked up just earlier. Tough hiking boots that seemed comfy enough, but we hadn't really tested them yet.Desiree smiled and wagged her tails a little. I suspected that she'd caught on to the real reason I was asking. "I am fine and well. The weather is clement, the companionship fine, and my feet are used to treatment far less kind than this. You have nothing to worry about, Broccoli."I smiled back. That was good to hear. "Let me know if anything changes," I said."I will," she promised.Amaryllis nodded, then looked at her map. She squinted at it, looked up, then pulled out a compass and muttered something to herself."Do nya need a hand?" Calamity asked."What? No I... oh, I suppose you would be better at this than I am," Amaryllis muttered. She came in next to Calamity and let him look over the map with her as she traced a path across it with a talon-tip. "I was thinking we'd cut across the forest like this, in a straight line.""Hmm, mind if I suggest somethin' else?" Calamity asked. When she nodded, he continued. "Straight lines just aren't something you do in a forest. Too many trees, too many obstacles, not enough points of reference as you're travelling. Instead, it might be best to follow along the ridgeline here. It might be rougher terrain, but it'll be a lot easier to tell where we are and keep an eye out on each other. I'd rather walk an extra hour and not be lost than take a straight path that might lead me astray.""I suppose if we do get lost along the way, that would add a considerable amount to our travel time. Plus, Broccoli would definitely see something foolish off-track and lead us out of any route we plan on taking. How about following this road to this little village here, then pushing north towards the ridge?""Yeah, having a road to walk on for more of the trip isn't a bad move," Calamity said with a nod."So, we're ready to go?" I asked while ignoring that truthful slander of my good name.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety — Sanity Splash Damage
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety — Sanity Splash Damage The air was crisp below the mountain that Port Royal was perched on (whose name I still didn't know, actually) and the road was actually pretty nice. It wasn't cobbled or anything, but hard-packed gravel with wagon wheel tracks pressed into the sides to create a bit of a hump in the middle. The sides were pooled with puddles, which was perfect!"No no, see, there's a trick to it," I explained."Oh? Please, do instruct me further," Desiree replied. She eyed me very carefully as I took a slight running start, then hopped up and came crashing down feet-first into the middle of the puddle.There was a big splash, water went everywhere and I raised my arms above me in victory. "See? The trick is to keep your feet together, like this." I stepped out of the puddle and pressed my shoes together. "It makes for a bigger, flatter surface that hits the water and splashes it harder.""Broccoli, what are you even doing?" Amaryllis asked."The kind captain is instructing me on how to best handle puddles and other watery disturbances on the road," Desiree explained."I know, I was here for the entire conversation," Amaryllis snapped."It doesn't hurt anyone," I said. "I can just Clean the mud away. So it's perfect! Unless...." I gasped, hands clapping over my mouth. "Oh no, I'm so sorry Amaryllis!"Amaryllis' eyes narrowed. "I don't know what you're apologizing for, and it worries me," she said."Your feet aren't flat on the bottom, I didn't think about it. Did I insult you by accident? I'm sure you can still make fantastic splishes and splashes even with talons!"Amaryllis closed her eyes while next to her Calamity cackled."What's the difference between a splish and a splash?" Awen asked."Oh, that's a fantastic question!" I said. "So, a splish is more like splish! And a splash is more like splash!" I explained with the appropriate hand gestures.Awen nodded. "I think I see. So If I want maximum splash, I might want to make something like a plate under my boots? To have more surface area?""I guess so, yeah," I said as I pushed some Cleaning magic out towards Desiree, she was practising now.Awen's eyes narrowed. "I wonder... If I put holes in these plates, then the water will be forced through the small openings allowing for a great amount of splish.""Splish-splash science!" I declared."No," Amaryllis un-declared. "We are not inventing new sciences, especially not... such childish ones."Desiree splashed into another puddle, then looked up. "Must we cease the puddle jumping then?"Amaryllis groaned. "No, no you don't need to cease it. It's not harming anything but my peace of mind."I smiled and walked over to give Amaryllis a hug. She looked like she needed one for putting up with us for so long.The trip was-as all trips with friends ought to be-a lot of fun! It wasn't too long before we reached a little village some ways away, right where Amaryllis' map said it would be."Hello!" I called out to a grenoil waddling about in a field of hip-high cabbages. He turned our way and pushed the brim of his straw hat back to better see the lot of us. "Sorry sir! We're looking for a place to stay the night, is there anything like that nearby?""Hmm, we ain't got an inn," he said. "But check out the mayor's place. He'll rent out his ground floor to guests and passersby on occasion. For a few copper more he'll share a meal too! Or you can compliment his wife's garden, that'll always get you in their good graces!"I laughed and thanked the farmer before we continued on our way. It would be nice to avoid sleeping in a tent for at least part of the trip.As it turned out, the nice farmer was right, not that it was hard to complement Miss Mayor's garden, because it was an excellent one, actually, with rows of flowers next to a big crop of veggies of all sorts. She even picked a few ripe carrots for our meal that night after I complimented the size and colour of their leaves.The stew that evening was worth every copper penny!Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.We left early the next morning after a night spent sleeping in the mayor's living room, all of us huddled in a row with our feet pointing towards the fireplace so that our toes stayed toasty all night long.As planned, we cut northwards,leaving the roads behind and following a route cut into the brush towards the mountainsides in the distance.The morning was gearing up to be rather uneventful, we just had to trek through the woods for a good ways to get to the base of the hills. That was easy, the mountains were hard to miss, even when surrounded by trees.We kept talking as we went, and I made sure everyone was involved, that way we didn't lose track of each other.Then, an hour into our trek, Desiree stumbled across something incredible that distracted all of us pretty hard. A stick!It wasn't just any old stick, though, it was the perfect stick.It was about a metre long and as thick as someone-bigger-than-me's thumb. There was even a sort of curvy guard on one end where the branch had split then rejoined itself. Desiree looked as smug as a fox in a henhouse as she waved it about. "It's perfectly weighted too!""Whoa!" I said.I immediately started to look for my own stick. I did find one soon enough. It had fallen some time ago, and had a cool layer of moss on one side. It was a bit longer than Desiree's stick, with a sort of t-shaped crossguard on one end."En garde!" I shouted before smacking Desiree's stick.That soon devolved into a walking stick-fight, which was mostly about us aiming to hit each other's sticks rather than actually hitting each other."What are you even doing?" Amaryllis asked after she turned around to the sound of wood snapping against wood. "Awen, even you?""Awa," Awen said. She had a pair of small sticks in hand, the handle end cut off in a Y that looked very comfy to hold."Oh, are we sword fighting?" Calamity asked."We are not," Amaryllis said."The rules are not to hit each other, and you have to find a stick off the ground, you can't hurt the trees for it," I said with a nod."How about we allow people to hit you?" Amaryllis asked. There was a dangerous gleam in her eyes. "You don't have Thick Skin yet, do you?""Well, I mean, I don't," I allowed.Then I got a whap across the rump and I jumped with a squeak."Ah! I'm sorry!" Awen said. "I thought I was helping!""Oh, you are!" Amaryllis replied with a smug grin. "Keep it up!"I wasn't sure if I was making good progress towards Thick Skin but I was getting a lot of dodging practice in, and I was learning how to properly parry a stick-attack while running through a thick forest, so it wasn't all wasted.We made it to the hillsides out past the forest a few hours before noon. Amaryllis and Calamity took some time to stare at our maps before they figured out exactly where we were, then we were off again.,When noon did roll around, we took a small break next to a stream coming down the side of the mountain. It was a pretty deep stream, but not so wide that I couldn't step past it. The water was clear as glass and cool to the touch, so it was a nice, refreshing spot to stop at.We found a tree next to the stream and settled down for sandwiches. Calamity got a fire going after throwing together a firepit with some stream-side rocks and soon enough we had some soup to dip our sandwiches into.Once lunch was over, the fire was out, and our waterskins were refilled for the journey, we continued on our merry way.We didn't stick fight as much, mostly because Calamity had joined in earlier and now I was smarting all over, so instead we played walking games, chatted about stuff that really didn't matter all that much, and enjoyed the sunlight."Alright," Amaryllis said eventually. She had the map out, and the papers we'd gotten from the guild. "If my calculations are right, then this is where we need to leave the mountainside and head south and west. We're going to want to form a line because finding this place might not be all that easy.""Okay!" I said. "Keep your eyes and ears open, everyone! We've got an Explorer to find, and a cave to discover!"
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-One — Let Them Eat Fruitcake
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-One — Let Them Eat Fruitcake "Marco!" I shouted."Polo!" Came the reply from my left, and then a moment later, another "Polo!" from my right.It was a system I'd come up with to make sure we weren't lost. When I heard a distant 'Polo' I added my own shout of 'Marco' to the call.It would have been a lot more fun to stay together in a tighter group where we could chat and laugh, but the cave we were looking for was in an area that — although it looked like a blip on Amaryllis' map — covered over fifty acres, according to Calamity. That was enough room to hold two whole villages with room to spare.So, if we didn't want it to take several days, we had to split apart and search a wider area. That meant forming a slow-moving line. I could see Desiree to my left and Amaryllis to my right. She was in the middle, with Awen on her right and then Calamity capping it off.The shouts were just to keep track of each other as we moved through the brush. It was actually super hard to walk in a straight line through a thickly grown, untamed forest. There were bushes and fallen branches all over, and the occasional muddy patch or steep hillside to navigate.Without calling out, it would be way too easy to lose track of each other, and that would be terrible. I could imagine being lost in these woods, all alone. It made me want to shudder and hug my friends close."Marco?" Desiree called out."Polo!" I shouted back. I expect to hear another 'Polo' from my right, but instead there was a bit of quiet."Hey! We didn't agree on what to say if there was trouble, did we?" Amaryllis asked."Uh, I guess we didn't?" I shouted back. "Is there trouble?""You might want to come over," she said.I turned the other way and cupped my hands over my mouth. "Desiree! Come over! There's something going on!"It took a minute or two to reach Amaryllis with Desiree by my side. We trudged through the forest towards Amaryllis who immediately gestured to her right. We carried on that way until we made it to where Awen was waiting. She was crouched behind a fallen tree on the edge of a slight hill. Calamity was next to her, in the shadows. He was pretty sneaky when he wanted to be."Hey, wh-" I started.Awen placed her finger over her mouth in a 'be quiet' gesture. Her eyes were a little wide as she gestured us closer. I came over and knelt down next to her, staying low. "Sorry," she said."It's fine," I replied with a smile to soften it. "What's up? Why are we being sneaky? Is it bandits? An evil monster? Ghosts? An evil monster ghost bandit?"She shook her head, then gestured further down the slight hill. "I saw something further out. I don't know if I was seen. It looked like it was a pixie?""Urgh," Amaryllis said."Yeah, they can be a pain," Calamity agreed.I looked to Desiree to see if she had commentary about pixies too, but she just shrugged. "I'm afraid that I lack knowledge here. What is a pixie?" she asked."They're itty-bitty people," I explained, moving my hands to show how big they were. "They're all glowy and pretty, with little butterfly-like wings.""They're pests," Calamity said. "Dangerous if you're not a fighter of some sort. Otherwise, pretty harmless. On their own they're not so strong. But they swarm.""I can cast a flamethrower spell," Desiree said. "And I'm certain that Lady Amaryllis can have her exquisitely powerful magic chain from one of these little ruffians to another.""No!" I gasped. "We don't want to kill them. Look, does anyone have anything sweet on them? Candy?""We don't have Caprica with us," Amaryllis said. "So no, I didn't bring anything to rot our teeth out when I packed our food.""Darn," I said. I'd been carrying a jar of honey around with me for months but just the other day I'd taken it out of my pack and put it away on the Beaver because I didn't think I'd need it. That was really biting me in the butt now. "Okay, we do have some bread, right? Fruit?"Amaryllis' eyes widened. "I'm a fool," she said."No, I'm certain that your intellect is at least average," Desiree consoled her.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original."What? No, I was being rhetorical. We do have fruit, and nuts as well." Amaryllis spun her bag off of her back and rifled through it for a moment. She came out with a small cloth baggie that she uncinched at the top to reveal little trailmix disks.They were a sort of syrupy-sticky stuff, with bits of dried fruit and an assortment of nuts mixed in. Each was about the size of a loonie, but a bit thicker, like a sweet little wafer. "Perfect!" I said. "Give me a third," I said."A third?" Amaryllis asked. "These are a snack more than anything, we can afford to part with the whole bag, I'm sure."I shook my head. "Pixies are shrewd negotiators," I said. "It's best if we make a gift, then make an offer, then sweeten the offer after. That's at least three portions."Awen at least seemed to catch on to my logic. "Ah, will we be negotiating with them, then?""Yeah," I said. "Otherwise they might decide that we're in their territory, which we might be. That could be a bunch of trouble, you know?""We're walking separated. They could easily drop a rock on one of our heads and take us out one at a time," Calamity said.I wasn't thinking about anything so violent, but it was probably a valid concern. We could be attacked, even if pixies were small and cute. Just being small and cute didn't mean that something was harmless."Alright, I'll go see the pixies. Stay here and don't come out unless things go bad, okay?" I asked as I took the pouch from Amaryllis. My friends didn't seem super happy about me walking out into danger, but they stayed behind the trunk as I hopped over it. As a Riftwalker, I was the only one in our group that could talk to the pixies in their own language and hope to be understood.The last time... actually, the last time, the pixies I'd met had been somewhat non-verbal. They didn't talk with words so much as they danced and moved and expressed themselves in other ways. Oh, they did chirp a lot, so I suppose they weren't quite non-verbal.Creeping along the hill's edge, I made my way toward the place where Awen had pointed. The forest was quiet, save for the occasional chirp of a distant bird or the rustle of leaves. My heart pounded in all four of my ears.I held the pouch of trail mix tightly, hoping it would work as a peace offering.There was a bit of a clearing just past the bottom of the hill, with a small still pond and a large patch of wildflowers warmed by the sun. I saw them-dozens of tiny, glowing figures flitting about the flowers and ferns. Their wings shimmered with a spectrum of colours as they moved around, darting and playing.Clearing my throat gently, I held up the pouch and spoke softly. "Hello? Hi! My name is Broccoli Bunch. I brought gifts. I just wanted to meet you all, and maybe become friends?"The pixies paused in their darting, a few hovering in place with a curious tilt of their tiny heads. One of the bolder pixies, a big guy with blue wings, fluttered over and hovered a few feet ahead of me. It blinked, then its eyes narrowed suspiciously."Here," I said as I emptied the entire pouch (the other two-thirds were back with my friends, of course) into my hand and presented it to the little guy. "A gift! It's dried fruits and nuts. It's very sweet!"That was enough to tempt him. He turned and squeaked a few times at the others, warning them to stay back for now. Then he landed on the tip of my middle finger and scooped up one of the disks. It was bigger than his head, but he munched on it all the same.I smiled without showing any teeth. I was making friends!His face lit up-quite literally-with a bright glow, and it zoomed back to its friends, chattering in a rapid, high-pitched squeal that seemed like approval.Encouraged, more pixies swarmed around the snacks, their tiny hands grabbing pieces and tasting them. Their delighted giggles filled the air, a sound like the tinkling of a wind chime in a gentle breeze.Seeing their positive response, I continued, "We're actually looking for a cave in this area. It's important to us, but we don't want to disturb your home without your permission. Could you help us?"Now the suspicions returned, but not for very long."I have more snacks if you agree," I said.Gosh, I was a great negotiator!
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Two — Taking Your Leader with Me
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Two — Taking Your Leader with Me "Mhm," I said.The pixie leapt and bounced through the air, his voice a high-pitched, high-speed series of squeaks and chirps.The other pixies were alternating between watching their boss and nibbling on the snacks I'd laid out for for them. Sometimes they'd look past me, towards my friends who were gathered a few steps behind me, far enough away that they wouldn't spook the pixies."And where was that, exactly?" I asked the pixie boss-man.He scrunched his little face up, then rubbed at his chin for a good while before squeaking some more and gesturing. He pointed deeper into the forest, then back to where we were. He shook his head, squeaked a few more times, nodded, then crossed his arms smugly."I see," I said. "And how many were there?"The pixie considered it for a moment, then shrugged and squealed while making a gesture with his hand."I wonder, does Captain Bunch actually understand their every utterance, or is she merely good at guessing?" Desiree asked in a low whisper. The sound had the pixies look her way, but they were busy devouring their snacks and my friends hadn't made any threatening moves, yet."I trust that she does," Amaryllis said. "Her Riftwalker magic is actually very impressive. Like a powerful and high-ranked linguistic skill.""I still remember her talking to the bee-people," Awen said."Yes, you would," Amaryllis replied dryly.I smiled-without teeth-to the pixie, then bowed my head a little and stepped back towards my friends. He dove down onto the snack pile and plucked a big nut from the top and started to take some big nibbles at it. "Okay, so... translation time, I guess?""We'd certainly appreciate it," Desiree replied."Mhm! So, Bossman-that's the pixie-said that there aren't too many people that come through here, and when there are, they're usually teams of grenoil or sometimes younger grenoil from the town nearby venturing out to cause trouble.""Bet the pixies love interlopers like that," Calamity said. "Pushing into their territory and all.""I think they do," I said. "They... kind of bully those younger grenoil, steal their lunches, then run them off. I don't think they actually hurt anyone, though-if they did that, people would probably stop coming here, and the pixies would lose their supply of free lunches. Anyway, that's what they're used to seeing, but it's not the only sort of person around. They said that they saw some stronger people too, recently. A group of five.""A group of five," Amaryllis repeated. "That could be our man. Did they mention the races?""Uh, the pixies have a hard time with that," I admitted. "They're of the opinion that any big person that walks on two legs is the same." I was more or less quoting the pixie there, and even then I felt my cheeks warming up a little. That was kind of a speciesest thing to say, wasn't it?"What do we know about this explorer anyway?" Calamity asked. "Feels strange that we're looking for this guy without knowing the first thing about 'im.""How do you even know it's a man?" Amaryllis asked... then she recanted. "Not that he isn't. His name is Sir Aberrforth, a human member of the Exploration Guild in good standing. From Mattergrove, I think.""Oh," Awen said. "The Aberrforths are a smaller family. I've heard of them. I didn't know any were in the Exploration Guild, but that's not too surprising.""It isn't?" I asked.Awen shrugged. "The Guild is pretty popular for third sons and such? It's the guild or the army, and having a member of the family join the guild costs a lot less than turning them into a knight. Horses are expensive.""Huh," I said. Awen didn't always open up about Mattergrove stuff, so it was interesting to learn. "I guess it's not too unusual to have someone from Mattergrove here? We're right on the edge, right?""The actual border is this forest," Amaryllis said. "Both Mattergrove and Deepmarsh claim the entire thing as their territory, and neither are able to nor care to enforce that fiction. The western end is definitely Mattergroves and this end is definitely Deepmarsh's, but the actual line between the two? That's for cartographers and politicians to fight over.""Well," I said, rubbing my chin, "I guess the specifics of the border don't matter too much to us. What does matter is that the pixies got us a lead. Those five people they saw."If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.Amaryllis nodded and pulled out a small notepad. She plucked a feather, did a spell to sharpen the nib, then dipped it into a tiny inkpot and scribbled some notes. "Good, so how were these people dressed?""The pixies don't do clothes," I said."I see. That's unfortunate, but it makes sense. Which direction were they heading in?""That way," I said, gesturing vaguely in the vague direction that the pixie had pointed in."Amaryllis frowned. "Uh huh... well, it's something. And how long ago was this?""The pixies don't know. They don't really keep track of time in days, more like... weather?"Amaryllis finally looked up from her notes, then she glared and turned the page towards me.Five (?) membersUnknown racesUnknown outfitsWesternly directionUnknown dates"Wow, that's not a lot," I said. "Well, I guess it's a lot of unknowns?""Broccoli, I could fill libraries with everything we don't know," Amaryllis said. "I'm more interested in actually knowing. Anything, at this point.""I could question the pixies some more, but, uh, I don't honestly think they'd be able to help all that much?" The pixies were nice, when I had them distracted with food and they weren't in the mood to be little pranksters. I glanced back at the glowing pixies and discovered a few of them sitting back on a stump, tummies stretched out with their big meals. "The boss did say that we could move through their territory, no problem. I think that's something, at least.""And if we meet more of them along the way, we can always ask them what's going on," Calamity said.I nodded. It was a plan!I returned to the boss pixie and smiled as I explained to him that my friends and I wanted to cross his territory. He considered it for a moment, hemming and hawing, until I revealed that I had an entire mini-loaf of bread. It was a little hard by then, but it was also bigger around than the whole pixie, and when I broke off a piece and gave it to him, he nibbled on it happily and agreed to come with.The pixie settled on my head, right between my ears, and we headed out in a westerly direction. We quickly figured out a way to navigate where he would tug on my right ear for us to move right, and tug on my left to turn left.I think he made us go in a little circle on purpose at some point because he was giggling to himself, but I didn't stop him. The Broccolimobile was all about fun!It didn't take too long before we met other pixies, but a few chirps from the boss and some shared bits of bread-which left crumbs in my hair, but that was fine-and we were left alone for the most part. A few of them did recall seeing five people, and they pointed us further into the forest.By the time midday rolled past and we were considering stopping for lunch, the boss pixie had found us some other pixies who had seen what we were looking for.He flew off my head and chatted with the pixies with chitters and squeaks so fast that I couldn't keep up, but eventually he flew back to me and gestured rather urgently. And then he said that because that spot was the space of the pink one, he wouldn't be accompanying us, not for all the bread on Dirt.I thanked him, which I had to do quick because he was fast to dart away and back into the woods."Should we, ah, be concerned?" Awen asked."I think so," I said with a nod. "He said something about a pink one? It sounded dangerous. But the other pixies saw our explorers that way.""What is the 'pink one?'" Desiree asked. "A name for a creature local to this area?""I don't know," I said, and neither did my friends."The good news is that that way," Calamity said as he pointed in the same direction the pixies had. "Is north. We've been going west for a while now, so if we turn and head out that way we'll be coming up to the base of the mountain range again.""And that's where the cave is!" I said. "Right, so we really are on their trail! We'll find them in no time!""Actually, um, this explorer, was he meant to be alone?" Awen asked."He's the only Exploration Guild member, but the others could be hired help," Amaryllis explained. "It's plausible enough, I think."That made enough sense for me. So we continued, sans pixies, towards the north. I expected to find the whole group in a camp or something, or near a big cave. Maybe they'd just forgotten the time?Instead, what we found, were effigies hanging from the trees like cheap Halloween decorations.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Three — Effigy
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Three — Effigy "Can you lift me up?" I asked as I gestured to Calamity.One of his eyebrows perked up. "Are you just asking me because I'm the only man around?" he asked.I blinked, then shrugged a little. "You're also the tallest?""Alright, I'm okay with that," he said before making a stirrup with his hands together, fingers woven. I put my foot in it, and then stood up. There was a bit of a wobble as Calamity raised me. "Careful with the hair. And the ears.""Yup!" I said as I tried to stay balanced on one leg. I placed a hand on Calamity's cowboy hat and then reached my other arm way way up into the tree. It took a bit of effort, but I was able to carefully pluck the effigy down. Then I just hopped back and out of Calamity's hold, landing before him with a bend of the knees. "Thanks!""No problem. So, what's it look like from up close?"From the moment our group had stumbled onto the effigies we'd been divided about what to do. Awen wanted to inspect one, and so did Amaryllis. I was kind of curious myself, and so was Calamity. The only one that felt otherwise was Desiree. She was completely creeped out by them."Hold it up a little," Amaryllis instructed as she came closer. I did just that, holding the effigy up to the light coming in through the canopy above.The thing was kind of like a doll? It wasn't made of body-parts, at least, otherwise I would have been creeped out too. Instead it was... some sort of roughly woven cloth? It didn't feel like wool or linen or anything. This was a lot coarser, more rough and uneven, like really poorly made sackcloth.The doll had the proportions of a human, more or less. "Is it meant to be a man? Like, a human man?" I asked."No ears, no tails, no wings," Calamity said. "It's not a grenoil, either, they're shorter, and they're usually represented with wide mouths and large feet. At the very least, there'd be a big wide mouth painted on the doll's face, even one this basic.""Not a doll," Amaryllis said. "An effigy.""What even is an effigy?" Calamity asked. "Y'all are throwing that word around as if I've read books.""Ah, I know this one," Awen said. I looked at her, waiting for her to continue while I held onto the doll-thing. "An effigy is anything shaped like a person that's meant to represent that person. Or... people in general? Usually though, when people call something like that doll an effigy there's a magical connotation to it. Ah, I think Amaryllis might know more about that.""I really don't," Amaryllis said. And then she proceeded to prove herself wrong. "I'm a wizard, not a ritualist or shaman. Even puppetry uses a different sort of magical effect than these. Effigies are sometimes used as the spellcasting focus for more complex spellwork.""A spellcasting focus?" I asked. "I don't use one of those.""You don't," she agreed. "But your spellwork is also... basic. And when it isn't, it relies on skills to make up for your lack of knowledge. A proper spellcaster, be they wizard or ritualist, should have access to all kinds of magic. They'd be able to copy your Cleaning magic, for example, by breaking down the spells you use into the formula and components then casting that as a single spell. It's complex, but it's also generally very flexible.""Okay, I think I get it," I said."Do you?" she asked.I blinked, then thought really hard about it. "Is it like multiplication tables?" I asked."Pardon?""So, I know that seven times eight is fifty-six, because my mom helped me memorise that one as a little song. Five-six is seven-eight," I sing-songed. "But that's just a neat trick to memorise that one, uh, bit of math.""Go on," Amaryllis said with a slow, uncertain nod."Alright, so if someone uses a skill to cast magic, that's similar to me hearing a song that tells me the answer to seven times eight ... then when a wizard casts magic, that's like they figured out the same calculation by drawing seven rows of eight dots and counting them all up, I think?"Amaryllis hummed. "That's rather astute, and not entirely incorrect."I beamed."Using the same analogy, having a spell-focus is like giving a spellcaster an abacus. It allows you to work on larger, more complex spells without spending an eternity drawing fifty-six little circles on a page." She flicked her wrist, summoning her spell wand into her talons. "My wand here is attuned specifically to lightning mana, with some runework that makes holding an electrical charge easier. It doesn't do any of the work of casting a spell for me, but it can retain some mana that's already in the shape of a spell for a small while, charge itself up like a thundercloud, and generally help me aim and be more precise with my spells of a specific sort. It's a tool."Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon."And the effigy is the same?" Awen asked."It's something like that. I can sense magic on it, a complex bit of spellwork." Amaryllis gestured towards the doll for a moment, then frowned. It took a moment that probably felt awkward for Awen (who was now holding the doll), but eventually a bunch of small lines appeared in the air around the doll."Oh, it's the spell," I said. I recognized the same sort of tangled web of magic that made something like a fireball possible. Only this was a whole heap more complicated. "That's harder to cast than fireball, I'll bet.""A lot, yes, but also look at the organic curvature of these spell lines. This isn't something a properly educated mage would do. It's sloppy, and will lead to inconsistent results and mana expenditure." Amaryllis shook her head."What's it do?" Calamity asked.Amaryllis shrugged. "Not the faintest clue."Humming, Desiree leaned over and peered at the spell for a moment. "If I may be so bold, I believe I recognize some elements of this. Certainly, it is a complex working, as Lady Amaryllis said, but not altogether uncommon. Take note of the primary structure, in the centre? It bears a striking resemblance to a spell we frequently cast in my homeland.""Oh?" I asked.She nodded. "It is to ward away mosquitos. They are most annoying."My gaze panned from the effigy to the others hanging from the trees. They were mostly the same, made of the same rough materials at least, though no two were identical. "Do you think they're meant to ward away people?""They're not working if that's the case," Calamity pointed out."They could be specifically targeted and we happen to be outside of the bounds of that targeting," Amaryllis said. "A spell to shoo away mosquitos might not work on gnats. Or so I suppose. Insects of that sort aren't an issue where I'm from, and so I never had to invest much time learning this type of spell's intricacies.""Not even fruit flies?" I asked.She sniffed. "I'm an Albatross, not some Flowerpecker or Toucan."I giggled, but then remembered that I was supposed to be serious about this. "Well, the effigies aren't affecting us, Maybe they're aimed at the pixies? I don't think they made these." The doll was bigger than a pixie to begin with and they didn't seem like they'd care for this kind of thing. "It could be the pink creature the pixies warned us about?""So we keep on going?" Calamity asked. "We're not all that far from the base of the mountains again."I nodded, and after asking for another boost to get up to the tree, I did my best to tie the effigy more or less where it had been before. Amaryllis said it wasn't necessary, but I disagreed. This was someone's thing and they'd put it here on purpose. It was all natural materials too, so it would probably decompose and couldn't be counted as litter. At least, I didn't think so?With that done, we headed out again. It was approaching time for a snack, so we got out the last of our nuts and trail mix after giving most of it to the pixies and nibbled on that as we moved together as a group.It didn't take long to find a trail.Unlike the deer trails and open tracks we'd encountered so far, this one was pretty wide, and had clearly been built on purpose. There was a pretty stark difference between a space where branches had been picked up and one where they hadn't been.Calamity took the lead, pressing through some low-hanging branches and urging us to be quiet. I didn't like the idea of being caught skulking through someone's forest, but I liked being caught even less, so I lowered myself down and tried not to step on any loose leaves and such on the ground as I kept up with Calamity.We came to a small opening soon enough, a space where the forest gave way to a rocky clearing, one where a quaint little stone house sat, and one where a man was tied from his wrists to a pole sticking out of the ground in the backyard."That... looks a lot like Sir Aberrforth," Amaryllis noted.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Four — The Binding of Aberrforth
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Four — The Binding of Aberrforth "We need to save him, right?" I whispered to the others. "It's the right thing to do... probably?""Probably?" Desiree asked. "Why would saving this poor soul be improbable? TThis is a man bound to a pole, all alone — save for this mysterious summer cottage, curiously isolated entirely from polite civilization. A more suspicious setup I could not devise. Even putting aside the obviously unsavory nature of his captivity, recall that we were sent here specifically to save this man. So I say again: why would saving him not be the right thing to do?""He might be enjoying it," Calamity said.I turned to him. "How?" I asked.Calamity flushed a little under his fur and rubbed at his cheek. "I'll explain when you're older," he said, which was very not helpful! "We probably should help him out.""Where are his friends?" I asked. "I mean, the pixies saw five people, right? That's one. Where are the other four?""Eaten already?" Awen gasped."Eaten?" I repeated. "That was an option?""Girls, Calamity, calm yourselves," Amaryllis hissed. Calamity raised an incredulous eyebrow and pointed to himself, but Amaryllis ignored his look of indignity and ploughed on. "Obviously we need to save Sir Aberrforth, it's what we're here for. The choice is between going loud and going quiet.""So we can dash in, get him, and run?" I asked.Awen nodded. "Or, ah, we wait until nightfall, sneak over, and try to free him quietly? That might be a lot safer.""What about the 'talk it out' option?" I asked. "Someone needs to be living there, right? It doesn't look abandoned at all. And they can't be, uh, uncivilised or anything. They have a garden.""Having a garden isn't the end-all-be-all in terms of who is or isn't civilised," Amaryllis said. I disagreed on principle, but didn't want to start an argument.This person had a nice garden. It was set up as three long, rather wide rows. There were stones stacked on stones, kind of like the sort of fence I was used to seeing on roadsides, but this one held up a lot of packed dirt within which the actual garden was growing. That way, the person working on the garden wouldn't have to bend down much to get to their plants.Further in was another garden, with several big bushes covered in little flowering berries, surrounded by herbs and freshly tilled, weed-free soil.This wasn't just a quick hobby garden, there was a lot of work here. I couldn't imagine someone who spent this much time working on something being that bad of a person.Even if they had someone tied to a pole in their backyard."The problem with walking up to anyone like that is that it destroys any opportunities to try anything else," Amaryllis said. "We can't sneak over and save Sir Aberrforth if the person knows we're coming. It's tossing our element of surprise in the trash.""Yes, but stealing isn't very polite," I pointed out. "Wait, would this be kidnapping? I'm confused.""Is it stealing if the thing we're taking back is a person?" Desiree asked. "I'm uncertain if the label of theft truly applies. I think, from a purely legal standpoint, it might fall under the prerogative of a rescue, which would be judged differently than theft.""Oh, rescuing isn't kidnapping," I agreed with a nod."Ah, uncle always says that there aren't any judges in the wilds," Awen said.I shrugged. Whether or not something was legal or not wasn't something I usually made a fuss to care about. I cared more about doing the right thing. "Let's ask? Otherwise, we might be in for a fight. I... I might be hoping here, but I hope that whoever caught Sir Aberrforth is at least reasonable?"Amaryllis hummed. "Alright, plan B then. Broccoli, how far can you summon a burst of Cleaning magic, and can you do it while not observing where the magic is?""Uh, I guess?" I said.Amaryllis nodded, then pointed to a bush some ways behind us. "Close your eyes and make that bush clean," she said.I did, and felt a small tug at my mana reserves. When I opened my eyes... the bush looked like a bush? It was hard to tell if it was clean or not. "Did that work?" I asked."It did. We're using that as a signal. Broccoli, go be yourself at the local. Does anyone volunteer to accompany her?"Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site."I'll go," Awen said."Good. Then the rest of us will wait for your signal. If they're hostile, one burst. If they're uncooperative but not hostile, two bursts, and if they're friendly and willing to give us Sir Aberrforth, three quick bursts of Cleaning magic at this location. Understood?""I think so, yeah," I said."Good, then repeat the instructions back to me," she ordered. I did as best I could, and Amaryllis nodded to herself. "Close enough. Let's not waste any more time. If we hear a scream or get any indication that you're in trouble, we're rushing in spells-blazing. Consequences be damned."I suspected that was the best I would get. Amaryllis really did care, in her own way."Okay then! Awen, stay close? If anything happens, I guess we will try our best?"Awen didn't look as sure as I felt, and I didn't feel all that sure myself. Sure, this was a cute cottage with a nice garden. It was inviting, and the air smelled like fresh herbs and the space was clean and clear, with birdsong and skittering little animals, but it was so far from everything that... I don't know, it felt wrong to just approach? Also, the effigies were kind of a loud 'stay away' sign.Well, something being a little scary never stopped me before! I shored up my bravery and stepped forwards with as much confidence as I could muster. I only slowed down a little to flash a thumb's up to the forest behind me where my friends were hiding.Awen stumbled out of the woods with me, clutching her crossbow close while she scanned around us for threats that weren't there yet.It only took a minute for Sir Aberrforth to notice us. He blinked behind big bushy eyebrows, then turned to look towards the cottage. "Who are you two?" he hissed."Hi!" I said in a loud-ish whisper. "I'm Broccoli Bunch, from the Exploration Guild." I tapped my pin. "We're here to save you?"Aberrforth's brows rose, but he shook his head. "No. Shoo. Get out of here, kids.""Are you sure?" I asked. "You seem a little tied up.""No, this is all part of the plan, you see," he said. "I'm going to win her heart over if it's the last thing I do!""Who's heart?" I asked. Sir Aberrforth looked a bit out of sorts. He was wearing a nice gambeson, with some embroidery on the edges and a clean tunic beneath. Both were stained with sweat, and from the bruising around his wrists, it looked like he'd been tied to the pole for a while. Still, he looked like a pretty strong guy, and the pole wasn't all that thick. It wasn't like it was a whole tree trunk, more like a thick branch whittled down into a straighter shape by hand.Sir Aberrforth was well-muscled for an older guy, and with skills being what they were, he should have been able to break out easily enough."The witch's," he said with a sigh, his eyes lighting up for a moment. "Laine. She's the one who tied me here, but it's... it's complicated.""You're in love with the witch who tied you to a pole?" Awen asked, her eyebrows nearly reaching her hairline.Sir Aberrforth nodded. "Yes, and it's not what it seems. Laine she... she's testing me, you see. Her heart's been broken before, and she's wary. She wants to be sure I'm the one who can withstand her tempests, literal and metaphorical. It's her way, her tradition. But I swear, she's kind-hearted, clever, a true healer of the woods, and-"I tuned him out and glanced at Awen who shrugged faintly. Was Sir Aberrforth under some sort of spell? If so, that was really awful! "One moment," I said before I raised a hand towards Sir Aberrforth. He had time to blink before I blasted him with Cleaning magic. The sweat stains disappeared, and he looked a little more put-together and clean."Why did you do that?" he asked calmly."I figured it might clean away any love magic?" I tried.Sir Aberrforth chuckled. "Ah, that's thoughtful, but no, there's no magic influencing my feelings. My affection for Laine is genuine! It's all part of her challenge to me."Awen lowered her weapon slightly, still suspicious but curious. "Her challenge? So, this Laine, she's a witch who tests her suitors like this? It seems... intense."I wasn't sure I liked this. Had my Cleaning magic worked? I felt like it should have, but maybe there was more at work here. Or maybe Sir Aberrforth was just nuts and there was no amount of Cleaning that would fix that up.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Five — Love is Being Stupid
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Five — Love is Being Stupid I really wasn't sure what to do. Our mission was to save Mister Aberrforth, but that mostly hinged on him being in the sort of trouble that someone needed saving from. There were a lot of scenarios we'd considered on the walk over. Maybe we'd discover that he was just too busy to report in, maybe he was injured and couldn't move, maybe he was stuck?But none of us had considered that Mister Aberrforth might just be madly in love. With a very heavy emphasis on the madly part. This behaviour didn't seem... sane, exactly."Any ideas?" I asked Awen.She shrugged. "We can conk him on the head and drag him back? Uncle said that he had to do that to some friends a few times, and he said that he was conked on the head a whole lot too."That might explain some things about Abraham, but I wasn't sure if giving poor Mister Aberrforth a concussion was a good idea. "We could drag him back," I said."Ladies," he interjected. "I don't mean to disparage either of you or your efforts, but I'm afraid that I have a tier up on both of you and quite a bit of physical strength besides. You won't be moving me so easily.""Dang," I said. "But we have a mission to save you, sir.""Ah, there's no saving me, ladies. My heart was stolen already.""In a metaphorical way?" I asked, just to be sure. I was very certain that we were dealing with some sort of magic user here, and there was always the risk that his heart really had been stolen. I stared at this doublet. No signs of blood or anything... then again, I had just blasted him with Cleaning magic, so I might have removed any signs of surgery.Sir Aberrforth sighed. "In the purely metaphorical sense, yes," he replied, smiling wistfully. "Laine has captured my heart, and I intend to prove myself to her, no matter how many tests she puts me through."Awen frowned. "But what if she's just... you know, taking advantage of you? This seems a bit extreme, even for a test of love.""I appreciate your concern," he said, his voice kind but firm. "But I assure you, I know what I'm doing. Laine is worth every challenge, every hardship. She's... unique."I traded another look with Awen. What were we supposed to do? We couldn't drag him back, and we couldn't just go back to the guild and report that the Explorer we were sent to rescue was unrescuable on account of suddenly falling in love. Well... I could, but I didn't think Mathilde would be happy with that explanation."Can we at least talk to her?" I asked. "Maybe we can, uh, negotiate or something? We should at least make sure that you're not being mistreated." Tying someone to a pole wasn't a healthy way to love them.Sir Aberrforth seemed to consider this, then nodded slowly. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. Laine is... stubborn, but she's also reasonable. If she sees you're here out of genuine concern, she might listen."I glanced back to where the others were hidden. "Give me a moment," I said before stepping away to signal them. Two quick bursts of Cleaning magic, indicating a non-hostile but complicated circumstance.Awen and I approached the cottage, keeping a wary eye on our surroundings. It was strange, being so nervous and wary in such an otherwise peaceful looking place. Well, if I overlooked the man tied to a pole, of course. Oh, and the creepy effigies. It was easy to forget about those.The door to the stone house opened just as we reached the edge of the garden, and an older woman stepped out. She was tall, with wild, curly white hair and eyes that seemed to pierce right through me. She wore a long, flowing dress adorned with various charms and symbols, and carried a staff that glowed faintly with magic.From the way she jumped a bit on seeing us, I think we spooked her.She stared at us for a moment before speaking. "Who are you?" she asked. "How did you get past my security?""Your security?" I asked."The effigies," she snapped. "They put the fear of the World in any man approaching my home."I blinked. So that's what they'd been tuned for. "But I'm not a man, I'm Broccoli," I said. "And this is Awen."Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site."Hello."Laine stared for a moment longer, then groaned. "I tuned the effigies and curses to trigger under specific conditions that would exclude myself. Ah, I overlooked some things, it seems. All this nature's making me soft.""Um, I suppose? I don't think soft is bad? In any case, we're part of the Exploration Guild, we're here because, um, Sir Aberrforth hasn't been in contact and we're a bit worried about him."Laine's eyes narrowed. "Worried, are you? And you think he needs rescuing?"I nodded. "Well, kind of. He seems to think he's here because of some sort of test of love?" I gestured to Sir Aberrforth who was grinning like a loon."You can take him," she said."Oh, thank you," I replied."No!" Sir Aberrforth shouted, struggling against his bonds. "I will not leave until I've proven my love to you, Laine. I am committed to this, no matter the cost."Laine sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Aberrforth, your determination is admirable, but you must understand, this isn't about enduring physical hardship. It's about understanding my world, my way of life."Sir Aberrforth shook his head. "And I will! Whatever it takes. I love you!""Did you know him before he showed up here?" I asked.Laine shook her head. "No, I didn't know him. He stumbled upon my home while I was tending to my garden. His men were too scared to approach because of the effigies, but Aberrforth, despite the pain, sent them away and came to me. His attempt at conversation was... less than charming, given his condition."Sir Aberrforth winced. "I admit, I was a bit worse for wear."Laine crossed her arms, looking at him sternly. "You were a mess. I tied him up to keep him from injuring himself further and to make sure he wasn't a threat. I've been feeding him and tending to his wounds."I nodded slowly. "So, he's been here under your care, and he's decided that he loves you?""Seems so," Laine said, glancing at Aberrforth with a mix of exasperation and maybe something softer. Or maybe it was the sappy romantic in me that was hoping there was something softer."Could you let him go, at least?" Awen asked. "He seems pretty determined, and we won't leave without him."Laine sighed again. "Fine. I'll release him, but you must convince him to leave. I don't need his kind of trouble."She approached Aberrforth and, with a few deft movements and a quickly cast spell, untied the ropes binding him to the pole. He stood up, rubbing his wrists, and gave her a grateful nod. Then he dropped to one knee. "Thank you, Laine. But my resolve remains unchanged. From the moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew that we were desti-"Laine cut him off with a not-so-gentle application of her staff to his shin. "Stubborn fool," she said with a roll of her eyes."Sir Aberrforth," I said gently, "We have a mission to complete. Can we please take you back with us? And, uh, where are the men that were with you?"Aberrforth's face softened. "I understand your concern, Broccoli, truly. But my heart is set. Laine, I will prove my worth to you in a way that respects your world and your ways. Just give me a chance."Laine didn't look as amused now. "You didn't answer the girl-child's question about your men.""Oh, they're fine," he dismissed. "I was exploring the region for some magical traces of a particularly interesting kind of rock with mana retaining properties, you see. There was once a thriving little community in these woods a long time ago, and they had many tools and weapons imbued with magic that could only... bah, anyway. Laine is more important than any magic, I say!""Uh, sure. And your team is?" I asked."In a large cave structure to the north west of here," he said.Laine's hand met her face with a smack. "No," she said."No?" I repeated."He never told me that part, just that he sent his men away. World damnit, I have better things to do than this!" Laine huffed, spun on a heel, and stomped off towards her home, but she did so with the kind of energy that suggested that she'd be right back, and probably not in a better mood.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Six — The Unnatural Power of Love
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Six — The Unnatural Power of Love Awen and I looked at each other, then turned towards Sir Aberrforth. "So, uh, how are your wrists?"The older gentleman laughed and shook his hands out. "Well enough! It's nice to have blood in my hands once more, I worried that they might fall off, sooner or later.""That's kind of concerning," I said."Bah! I'd show my dear Laine my devotion, hands or no!""Uh, alrighty then," I said. Awen shared a small, clueless shrug with me. She didn't know what was going on with this guy any more than I did, it seemed.Sir Aberrforth didn't seem like the kind of person that was in any way easy to understand. What was a little weird was his obsession and the degree he was going for it.Laine didn't seem like the sort to ensorcel someone. If she did, I think she'd use it to tell Sir Aberrforth to buzz off before anything else."Have you ever fallen in love like this before?" I asked."Oh, several times!" he said."Ah," I replied. "And was it always this... bad?""If by 'bad,' you mean has the aching longing of love in my heart? Then no, this love exceeds all the others, Laine is truly the most special of them all.""Uh-huh," I said. "So it never worked out with any of the others?""Alas! Those I have fallen for have oft told me that my love is too great," he said."Love certainly can be ... overwhelming," I said. "Maybe we can work something out? I mean, I don't mean to brag, but I'm something of an expert at love making.""Awa?" Awen awa'd."I love all of my friends, and they love me back, I think!" I nodded. "So you could say that I'm an expert at creating love!""Broccoli, I don't think, um... oh, nevermind."Laine returned then, dressed in a set of robes and holding a bag under one arm. Her staff was gone, replaced by a walking stick. "So," she said, looking a bit crosser than before, "You intend to help Aberrforth's men?""Um, yes?" I replied."Good. They can escort him back to his guild and he'll be out of my hair. I'll come along to keep an eye on things and to ensure that he doesn't try and do anything stupid.""That's good, I think," I said. "I'm not really sure what to do with Sir Aberrforth here. He seems, um, set in his ways.""He's an idiot," Laine said.I bit my lip. It was true that Sir Aberrforth didn't seem ... rational ... but calling him an idiot was a bit mean.Awen cleared her throat. "Shall we get going, then?""Actually, two things. First, what's in that cave? You panicked a little when he mentioned it," I said."Ah," Laine said. "This place used to be a small town. There was a cave nearby, and the village was a sort of staging area for adventurers to go in and bring out the ore." She gestured past her garden and to a small rock wall. "That used to be a home. That over there, the mound? That was an inn, and that one," she said, pointing to a large flat stone, "was a communal oven.""Was it a grenoil village?" I asked."No," was all she said. "It was human, long before the grenoil moved out of their marshes. But it doesn't matter. It and its neighbours are gone now.""Oh," I said. "You still haven't said what's in the cave.""The town had a problem with some monsters in the mines. Some brave young souls went down into the mines and didn't come back, then some went after the first ones, and more, until there were too many missing and the mines were closed.""And now the cave has something living in it," I said."I think there's been something living in that cave from the very beginning," Laine said. "What was that second thing? I don't want to linger.""Uh, sure. The second thing is, well, I was wondering when it would be a good time to mention that Awen and I didn't come here alone?"Laine scowled at me, then gestured in a small circle with her walking stick. I felt something blow past me, like a subtle wind, but more. If I hadn't been practising with magic so much, I wouldn't have noticed it at all. She huffed. "You can come out now!" she called out towards the forest.I turned that way too. "Uh, it's safe!" I said before waving. "She's actually kinda nice!"Calamity stepped out first, hand on the shaft of his bow, but he hadn't nocked an arrow. Then Amaryllis and Desiree followed him out of the brush. They were a whole lot noisier than the catboy. "Hello!" Calamity said."Why are so many people invading my corner of the woods today?" Laine asked. "How did you even find my place?"You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story."We asked some pixies," I said.Her eye twitched, just a smidge, and her mouth pursed. "Those little devils," she grumbled."Oh, you know them?""Unfortunately. They're pests," she said."Well, I think they're adorable," I said."I question your taste," she muttered.Amaryllis huffed, a very 'yeah me too' kind of huff. "A pleasure to meet you," she said. "I'm Amaryllis, this is Desiree. I've been eyeing your spellwork on those effigies. It's pretty intricate."Laine's response was a noncommittal grunt. "Are we going to do anything about Aberrforth's team, or not?""Of course," I said.Sir Aberrforth stepped forward. "If it's alright with you, my dear Laine, I'd like to accompany our little rescue party. If my team is in danger, then I'd rather not delay. And if harm were to befall you, my dear, it would wound me more than anything.""Please stop calling me that," she said. "We're not... ugh, whatever. You're a grown man. Come or don't, but try not to get in the way."Laine spun around and stomped off, leaving the rest of us to catch up. Calamity sidled up next to me pretty quickly. "So, what's with the witch?" he asked with a gesture towards Laine. "And the old man?""Love," I said.He chuckled. "What, really?""Yep," I said. "It's pretty intense, and pretty one-sided. I, uh, think that Sir Aberrforth is... nice, but maybe not the best at romance?"Amaryllis gave the man a look. "Well, whatever. We can drag him kicking and screaming before Mathilde and he can explain himself to her later." Judging by his wince, he wasn't fond of that idea. "In the meantime, did she say anything about where we're going?""Oh, right! We're going to a cave! Sir Aberrforth sent his team that way earlier. Miss Laine seems to think that the place is either cursed, or dangerous, or where a monster lives? Actually, she wasn't terribly specific except to say that it was dangerous."Laine stopped on the edge of the clearing behind her home, then raised her walking stick and thumped it on the ground a few times. There was a rustle that ran through all the trees and all the plants in her garden. "What we find in those caverns might not be any sort of joke, child.""Child?" I asked. "I mean, I'm still young, but I'm not a child. Besides, you're still pretty young-looking too!" My mom always liked it when I said she looked young, besides, Laine looked about mom-aged.She sniffed. "I take care of myself," she said."Oh, you do, truly, your countenance is most mag-" Sir Aberrforth cut himself off as Calamity touched his shoulder and shook his head."So, do you think the thing in the cave is undead?" I asked as I bounced ahead and caught up with Laine. "I sure hope so, that'd make things easier.""You think fighting the undead is easy?" Laine asked sceptically.I nodded. "Yup! Much easier than the not-undead. Uh, the living, I guess. Unless they're undead who can think and feel, which is a whole different thing."Laine eyed me."What?""You're not lying. Not even a little bit," she said."Of course not. I'd never lie about undead, they're super interesting! Honestly, ideally, you can befriend undead; they make great friends! I made friends with a skull once, you know? He was a bard... before he was a skull. Well, actually, he probably had a skull as a bard and even before that, but... uh, I'm getting ahead of myself, I think."Laine stopped, and the others behind her nearly ran into each other trying not to bump into the back of the line. The witch had pinned me with an intense, owlish expression. "Are you insane?""If I were, would it matter?""Awa, I think Broccoli is... well, Broccoli. She's hard to describe, but I think she's fine.""Thanks Awen! I don't think I'm that hard to describe, though. I'm just friendly, right?"Awen pointedly glanced away, refusing to meet my eyes.I pouted. "Hey, I am just friendly, right? I'm not weird, right?"Amaryllis snorted.I whirled toward her. "Not you too, Amaryllis! You're one of my oldest and best friends! You can tell them the truth, about how I'm super friendly!"She turned away, shoulders shaking. Was ... was she holding back laughter???I crossed my arms and copied one of her "I'm done with this conversation" huffs. "Fine then!" I said. "Be that way! I don't need you to tell people how friendly I am!"I smiled at Laine. "I'll prove it!"For some reason, Laine got a nervous look on her face.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Old History
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Old History Laine didn't have to lead us too far before we emerged from the forest. This was still close to the base of the mountain, though I had to really squint to make out anything of Port Royal in the distance. The only other sign that the city was there were a few big airships coming and going towards the mountain side.The area was grassy, with a few tough bushes along the forest's edge. As we walked, I noticed that there was only a thin layer of dirt atop some porous rock, so there probably wasn't enough topsoil here for the forest to expand into this area."Is the cave far from here?" I asked."It shouldn't be," Sir Aberrforth said."Wait, just to be clear, you and your, uh, team had a mission to explore the same cave, right?" I asked."We did," he confirmed."How did you know about it?" I asked. "I mean, no one just sets out looking for random caves, right?"He grinned. "You'd be surprised! However, we had some reports about this one. Two of them, in fact. The first was more recent. A group of grenoil noticed the cave and stopped at its threshold last winter. They used it for cover for a few hours, then continued on their way. One of them was a mage of some calibre and he took samples of the stones by the cave's entrance.""Lucky fools," Laine said."Possibly. It was a group of soldiers from the army patrolling the outer edge of Deepmarshe's territory."Laine grunted. "This isn't Deepmarsh's territory. The Darkwoods belong to no one.""I think you're going to find that hard to defend," Amaryllis said. "Not with Mattergrove coming in to your west and Deepmarsh expanding to your east. There are a few outposts on the edge of the Darkwoods that won't stay as outposts forever. They'll turn into villages then towns and might one day become small cities."Laine glared at Amaryllis, but she didn't refute the point, not for a minute. "There have been cities in these woods. Long ago. They are gone now. The grenoil were here once too. And they were pushed back as well. The Darkwoods will earn their name once more in due time."Well, that was just plain creepifying."Excuse me, Sir Aberrforth, you mentioned two sources? Would you mind elucidating on the other?" Desiree asked."Ah, yes. The other is both older and younger. See, as the expansion into the Darkwoods continues we are indeed discovering old sites that aren't on our maps. One of these was discovered just a few months back. A team was sent to explore it and they found a surprisingly intact village."I felt my ears perk up at that. That ... sounded a lot like Threewells. After leaving the town, way back then, hadn't I run into an exploration team searching for it?"Dating the age of the place was beyond the team, but they did recover a few artefacts and curios and some ancient books. These were taken to the guild and eventually translated, at least partially.""They weren't in a language anyone knows?" I asked.Sir Aberrforth shook his head. "No, unfortunately not."I hadn't had issues... but then again, I had an advantage there, didn't I? "So what did they say?""One text had a map with the location of at least two other settlements. One should be... right about where we are now. Another segment we've translated suggested that there were mines here, once."Laine sniffed. "I told you, there was a village where my home now resides. It is long gone, however. Even magics can't prevent the passage of time.""Even magics?" I asked. "What's that mean?"Amaryllis picked the question up. "You know how anyone with a lick of sense could build something? A home, a tool? Whatever?" I nodded along and she continued. "People with skills do it better. A smith's tools will work better, be of greater quality, and will last much longer. A home built by a carpenter and bricks laid by a bricklayer, all done using tools made by a talented smith... it adds up.""Like some sort of cumulative bonus?" I asked."Exactly. There's a reason that items made at the highest level of quality tend to be those where the work of several experts at every stage went into their creation. Talented miners bringing ore to talented metallurgists who make ingots for talented smiths who make an end product greater than the sum of its parts. That can be enchanted by a talented mage in the end, resulting in something even greater."Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings."And old homes are like that?" I asked."Some are," Amaryllis said."And yet without care and attention, the sweat of many brows falls apart," Laine replied.We reached the base of a cliff, and Laine started to follow around the edge of it. The terrain here turned a bit rockier, and there were no natural paths to follow. It looked like maybe some of the rocks on the cliffs above had tumbled down-in fact the entire hillside seemed to be crumbling with time.Still, after scrambling over and past the rocks, it didn't take long to find a narrow stretch of leveled ground, butted up against the sheer wall of the cliff. The rocky terrain was pockmarked and strewn with shattered stone, but even so, I was sure it must've been a road at some point in the past."Here it is," Laine said a few minutes later as we reached the end of the road. It turned ninety degrees right into the cliffside. There was another landslide or something here once, the road was partially buried under crumbling rock, but some of those rocks had been shifted aside, revealing an entrance just large enough for someone to slip into if they were feeling a little acrobatic."Was this opening bigger?" I asked."Once, perhaps," Laine said."Do you know more about what happened here?" I asked. Laine was... well, I wanted to say that she was nice, but really she was only barely helpful at this point. But there was definitely more to her. Maybe she could help us with whatever was inside the cave, at least?She nodded, and leaned against a boulder. Her expression soured. "I don't know everything. What I do know are the stories I was told when I was a child, the histories that we learned from the elders.""Which elders?" Amaryllis asked."I don't want to be here for the rest of the day," she said. "My elders. They spoke of a time when humans ruled the lands between the mountains. A time when they fought amongst themselves and the grenoil, and their war spilled over onto the soil. Their greed and lust for power grew too much and they began to destroy the land itself. The grenoil fled, leaving their ancestral homes and settling in the marshlands to the east, and all was well for a time. And then the humans dug too deep, and awoke something that should have remained undisturbed. It happened over the course of weeks. Villages cleared. Towns burned. The forest reclaimed itself, fought against that ancient threat, and won... but only after no one remained.""So the mine collapsed? Was this a mine?" I asked."It was. Though, that was so long ago, and nature has claimed so much of it, that calling it a cave is not wrong, either. The people of the nearest villages banded together and collapsed what parts of the mine they could. But the damage was done, even with the great evil sealed away.""Oh," I said. "That was brave of them, then."She nodded. "I'm sure they'd be pleased to know that someone acknowledged that bravery. They would have been more pleased if it had amounted to anything. It was too little and too late.""I'm sorry to hear that," Sir Aberrforth said. "But, as much as I would adore to spend this time listening to your dulcet tones, I must carry on in. See this mark?"He pointed to a mark etched into the stone, a sort of compass rose? Wait, that was the Exploration Guild's logo!"Your friends are in here!" I gasped."And they must need our help," he agreed. "Onwards, my beloved! ... And friends. Onwards for you too."I nodded, then pushed into the cave. It required a bit of smallifying myself to be comfortable, but I managed. The cave just beyond the entrance opened up a little, so I set down a magical light ball, then got to work clearing out some of the smaller, more movable rocks from the entrance so that my friends could get in easier.I was itching to explore this place, and see if great unknowable evils were weak to Cleaning magic.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Hold Up
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Eight — Hold Up I held my light ball higher over my head once the first of my friends had squeezed through the entrance. It was Calamity, who — appropriately — had the flexibility of a cat. He had managed to twist himself through the entrance tunnel with his bow and quiver and all."I'll get started on the entrance," he said. "We'll want it wider if we need to make an escape. Watch my back?""Sure thing," I said as I turned to stare deeper into the cave. Or was it the mine?I wasn't exactly sure where one definition ended and the other began, really. The walls were mostly sheer rock, but it was also clear in some spots that they'd been carved out and smoothed. The entrance went on for a couple of metres, then spilled into a larger room. The ceiling rose a bit higher and there were several tracks on the ground. Wooden rails for a minecart? I couldn't see too far in, since the entrance curved off to the side.Calamity grunted as he tugged a large rock out of the way, then rolled it over to the side. "I'm not going to gamble on this place being the most stable thing out there," he said as he looked at the rest of the entrance and all the stones blocking it."We should probably have stayed outside and pulled all the rocks out one at a time," I said."That would take forever," he said."Yeah, I guess. It'd be safer though." I wasn't someone who was very claustrophobic-after all, being squished smaller was an important part of getting a good hug-but I was still keenly aware of the tons of rock just above my head. The tips of my ears kept brushing against the low ceiling whenever I moved my head, displacing some dust and ancient cobwebs."Safe is the enemy of fast," Calamity said, which probably wasn't a very OSHA-compliant sentiment.He moved a couple more rocks out of the way, mostly picking away at the smaller ones that were loose and just in the path. Then Awen was shimmying into the cave to join us. "I'm putting up bracing," she declared once she was inside."Won't that get in the way?" Calamity asked.Awen's cheeks puffed and she pursed her lips. "The entrance caving in would also get in the way," she said. Then she started creating long, thick beams of glass. They were hexagonal columns that she pressed up against the walls, then joined together with some pretty complicated braces that she welded together with new glass."Is that going to be strong enough?" I asked."Glass is very strong," Awen said. "It just has a few problems with ductility.""What's that?" I asked. It felt like a word I'd heard in class but immediately forgot about.Awen paused, then explained. "Glass is harder to compress than steel. In that sense, it's very strong. But when you try to bend glass, it fails catastrophically. Steel would bend a little and might spring back into shape. But for something like this, where we just need supports? Glass is perfectly fine as long as none of the weight comes in from the sides."Awen created a few more arches of glass against the walls near the entrance with large flat top bits and wide feet. Being able to grow them with her magic meant that placing them was relatively easy.With some reinforcement in place, we got to work pulling out more of the stones in the path until it was opened wide enough that actual sunlight was coming into the mine, unfiltered by the slight twists and turns in the entrance.Amaryllis came in next, followed by Desiree, and finally Laine and Sir Aberrforth in the rear. "Quite the homey space," the explorer said as he looked about."It's not exactly cozy," I said. The air was too cool and humid for that, though it certainly was kind of tight.The others took some turns summoning lights, and soon we had half a dozen glowing magical globes of various hues and strengths lighting up the entrance.I stepped up and deeper into the mine, past the initial corridor and into that first large room. It was more obviously a mine here. There were ancient rotting supports against the walls, mushrooms and moss growing on the timber, and there were several tracks and spaces for the minecarts to turn around in. One side had half a dozen minecarts pressed up against a wall that seemed to have caved in a little.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more."Ah, there!" Sir Aberrforth said as he gestured ahead.There were a few carts turned on their sides to one edge of the room. An old bench had been dragged over and was set next to a large tin bucket filled with bits of darkened wood. A stack of sticks sat nearby, with some bigger logs next to it."Looks like a camp," I said.Sir Aberrforth picked up a leather bag. It looked much newer than all of the other things in here. "I think I recognize this bag," he said. "This is from one of my companions.""So, that confirms that they were in here," Amaryllis said. "And they had a fire and a camp set up. There's a bedroll there, in that cart."I glanced over, and she was right. Someone clever had set up a small bedroll inside of a cart turned onto its side. I supposed setting up tents when the ground was all rock wasn't an option."Igniting a fire in these confines seems unwise," Desiree said. She raised a little ball of light closer to the ceiling, revealing some soot along the roof."It doesn't smell too strongly of smoke," I said.Calamity sniffed at the air, then removed his hat and held it up in a few strange angles a bit above head-height. "There's a draft," he said. "Cooler air coming from that tunnel over there. Might have been enough to make it safe as long as they kept the fire real small.""My companions aren't fools," Sir Aberrforth said. "At least one of them has a spell that turns fire smoke into breathable air. It's a common enough trick for those who spend time in caves. Sometimes you'll find a bend in a cave where the air is stale and you need to purify it."I wondered if Cleaning-magic could help with that? Did carbon dioxide count as dirty? Smoke probably did, since it was all icky and sticky and bad for your lungs."So, if your friends camped here... then where are they now?" I asked. There were three bedrolls on the ground, and only one bag left behind. "They left some of their stuff.""No one who has time to pack before leaving would forget all three of their bedrolls," Amaryllis said.I nodded along, that made some sense. "So, they chopped up some wood and brought it here, probably pretty recently." I said. I brought a hand closer to the little firepit and felt some warmth coming off of the ashes still. "Feels like they can't have gone too far, right?""Unless something drove them deeper into the mine," Amaryllis added with a grim expression.I glanced at the dark tunnel stretching further into the mine, wondering what could have made Sir Aberrforth's companions leave their camp in such a hurry. Turning towards Laine, I found the woman staring into the dark as well."Let's get out of here," she said. "We can collapse the entrance once more. I have a few magics that can create a seal.""You want to abandon them?" I asked, taken aback by the suggestion."It's the safer option," she replied, her tone steady but sombre. "If something dangerous is lurking deeper in, we risk all our lives by venturing further unprepared. Sometimes, retreating and burying a great evil is better than trying to fight it."I really didn't like that option, and a look to all of my friends suggested that they didn't like it either.Calamity started towards the tunnel while checking the tension on his bow. "I'm not about to be cowed by some creepy dark tunnel," he said. "And I haven't met a monster yet that could handle an arrow to the face.""Dragons?" I asked."If a monster can shrug off an arrow to the face, I maintain that they are a person worthy of respect-so I will not anger them by hitting their face with arrows," he said.I nodded. That was sensible.I began to follow Calamity into the darkness. Even if we ran into monsters (or people who could survive getting shot in the face with arrows), we had a job to do. Specifically, we had a quest to explore these tunnels, to say nothing of the people in need of rescue."Give me a moment," Amaryllis said. "If we're doing this, I want to start a proper map first."I grinned. That was more like it. Laine didn't seem happy with our gung-ho-ness, but I was afraid she'd just have to live with it.
* * *
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Nine — Overhead Lightning
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Nine — Overhead Lightning The mine tunnel was spooky.It was a long, darkened passage, supported by regular wooden trusses. Wooden rails for the minecarts dove into the darkness until they couldn't be seen at all. There were cobwebs along the ceiling, to add to the ambiance, and the regular tip-tap noise of water dripping down into a puddle.The long passage groaned, wind blowing past my bun ears and deeper into the shaft as if the darkness was an inhaling giant.Of course, there were ways to mitigate spookiness. The first, of course, was light.I raised a second light ball over the first, brightening things up a bit. Then Amaryllis decided to show off what a Thundere could do and started a low murmuring chant while she waggled and waved her dagger-wand about. I caught some glimmers of the magic she was weaving, but the spell was way, way more complicated than anything I could manage.I did notice Laine staring at the spell as it came about. I think Amaryllis might have been showing off to the witch a little.We waited for her to finish, I think we were all worried that interrupting her might be a bad idea, especially when all of our hair started to rise and the entire tunnel we were in started to feel static-y and dangerous.Amaryllis cast her spell, and I shielded my eyes from the light, only to realise that it wasn't leaving.I blinked my eyes open and looked around, then let out a low 'whoa' of amazement.Just above our heads, a bolt of lightning hung frozen in midair. It zigged and zagged ahead, plunging down the tunnel and forking at the first intersection. The branches of electrical light was a pale bluish white and very bright, like a neon tube at a supermarket, but long and continuous.Amaryllis let out a long, powerful huff, the sort of huff that meant that she was tired out but very proud of herself. "That should allow us to see.""And it should tell anything in these tunnels that we're here," Laine said."Yes. Here and capable of great magic," Amaryllis replied smugly. "The spell is self-sustaining, at least for a while. We should have a few hours of light to work with, now.""This is an impressive working," Desiree said. "Most impressive, even. Lightning frozen in place.""Not quite frozen," Amaryllis said. "Slowed down a great deal. The spell will shoot ahead, keep a certain distance from the floor, and try to find a path as deep into the tunnel as it can, forking whenever the tunnel splits. As we go along, the far end of the spell ought to be brighter, and this end will slowly catch up." She pointed to the end of the spell she had cast from.She was right, it was fading. It looked like cotton candy when dipped in water, breaking up and fizzing away, but in the ten seconds I stared it barely moved a centimetre."Will it last until we're done?""It should," she said. "I've had this spell in my repertoire for a long time without cause to use it. It was far easier to cast than I remember.""When was the last time you used this?" I asked."Oh, long before we met," she replied. "So a solid dozen levels ago. It took me far longer to cast then, and wasn't nearly as powerful. Also, this will last longer, be brighter, and it barely took a dip of my mana reserves."My birdy best friend preened happily at her own success, which was, admittedly, really impressive."Well! Now that the tunnel's not spooky anymore, let's go!" I said before skipping ahead."Ah, we should look for signs that Sir Aberrforth's companions were here," Awen said."I'll get snooping," Calamity replied before he stepped up and started to scan the ground. Soon enough he pointed out a footprint in the dust, then another, all of them predictably leading downwards. "Doesn't look like they were in a fight," he said."How do you know?" I asked."No side-stepping, evenly spaced walking. When you're fighting you move your feet a lot, these... three? No, three, two of them have very similar boots, but look here, the steps are doubled over each other."I could only barely make out what Calamity was talking about, even with the clear-as-day lighting.We continued until we reached an intersection, and that's where things got a little complicated. "Looks like they split up," Calamity said. "Three went ahead, the other went that way." He pointed off to the right.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.I chewed on my lower lip. "There's supposed to be something dangerous in here, right?" I asked. "We should probably not split up.""Would we not cover more ground?" Desiree asked."Yes, but then there'd be fewer of us if we did meet a monster. And I don't know if we can call for help in these tunnels very well." Our voices echoed a little already. If we split up and someone needed help, there was a good chance it would be hard to find them if the mine turned any more maze-like."So, the one or the three?" Amaryllis asked."Oh no, it's the trolley problem," I gasped."There aren't any minecarts though?" Calamity said. "The rails look way too crooked for those.""No, I mean... nevermind," I said. "Who do you think is closer?"Calamity looked at the footprints for a while, then pointed right, the path that only one person had taken. "That way," he said. "The one.""Really?" I asked.He nodded. "That's what my tracking skills tell me, and I trust them."I considered it for a moment more, then nodded. "Let's go to the closer one, then?" I asked as I looked to the others. Aberrforth should probably have been the one in charge, but he didn't contradict my idea.My logic was simple. If they were closer, we could find them faster, and learn about what was going on faster too. I didn't like not knowing what was going on, and even with all the light Amaryllis had provided, I couldn't help but feel like there was some lingering spookiness down in these mines. It was probably the sound of dripping water, or maybe the nearly inaudible sigh of the wind.So we went right, and Calamity continued to follow the tracks on the ground. "He started running here," he said. Eventually he chuckled on reaching a spot where a pillar stood in the middle of the tunnel, right after where the rails ended. "He ran into this one full-tilt."I held back a giggle of my own. It would be rude to mock someone for that kind of thing. They'd probably been really afraid, and stuck in the dark as well. The pillar would have come out of nowhere for them.Calamity circled the pillar, then we all paused.There was a sound from up ahead, one that none of us missed. A scuffle, and a shift. Something moving."Could be our guy," Calamity said."Could just as well be a monster," Amaryllis replied as she raised her wand."We could ask," I suggested before stepping up. "Hello? Is anyone there?"There was a gasp from further in, then a sniffle. "No, no, no," someone said.I glanced at my friends, then Sir Aberrforth. "I... think that's Henri," he said. "Henri, my boy, it's Aberrforth!" he called out ahead. The tunnel continued on for some ways, but it looked like we'd reached the actual mine part of the mine. There were rocks all over, many of them still decorated with the marks of ancient picksA greenish head poked out from behind one of these. "S-sir Aberrforth?"Henri looked like an ordinary young grenoil man. I fired off an Insight, just in case.HenriLevel 10 Long March ScoutUnless he could fool that skill, then he was who Sir Aberrforth thought he was. The grenoil stumbled out from behind the rock. He was shaky, hands trembling, lips wobbling. He looked like someone who desperately needed a hug."Whoa there, Henri," Sir Aberrforth said as he rushed over and grabbed the young man's shoulders. "You look shaken. What happened, my man?""Did you kill it?" Henri asked. "Please tell me you killed it!""What are you talking about?" Sir Aberrforth asked.Henri gasped. "Then it's still here?" he said. "You lead it right to me!""I don't think anything's followed us," Calamity said."No, you don't understand. It's here. It was tormenting me. I swear it. It knew where I was and was just.... Waiting, like a cat playing with a mouse," Henri said. "It's evil! I know it's evil!"The lightning bolt frozen above us flickered."That's... not supposed to happen," Amaryllis said."Maybe the spell is broken?" Awen asked."My spells do not break," Amaryllis snapped.A split second later, the light went out completely.Well, now the spookiness level had jumped right back up to an all-time high.
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Chapter Five Hundred — World of Darkness — Bun of Light
Chapter Five Hundred — World of Darkness — Bun of Light "Guys?" I asked the darkness.I turned, nearly stumbling over ... nothing?Even with my eyes wide open, all I could see was utter blackness."Amaryllis? Awen?" I called out, a little louder this time.Raising a hand, I created a lightball... or I tried to. Instead, no light appeared, but I felt an unnerving tugging sensation, like pulling at a hangnail across my entire body. Not quite as painful, but it wasn't nice."Calamity? Desiree?" I shouted.The next thing I tried was Cleaning magic. A wave of it, trying to flare out in every direction. But instead, nothing happened.Frowning, I focused on my magic and pushed. It felt like I was pressing both hands against a solid wall and pushing against it with all of my might. All I did was kind of push myself back, only it wasn't physical, it was my magic.I blinked, looked down, and tried to see my own hands in the absolute dark. Of course, there was nothing to see. I might as well have had my eyes closed. Reaching up, I touched my face, but there was no blindfold there.Which left... I called on Mister Menu and he showed up. My menu screen floated there, all my stats and skills in order. But Mister Menu didn't cast any light. Wait, did that mean that Mister Menu was in my imagination? Bringing my hand closer didn't illuminate it. I turned, and the menu followed, but I'd never really experimented to see if Mister Menu would bump into things.Stepping towards where I thought one of the tunnel walls was, I stretched out a hand with Mister Menu on the end, and the menu shifted inwards just a smidge before my hand touched cold stone.Well, that was something, at least.I decided not to panic. I really, really wanted to. The panic twisted inside of me like... like a very full bladder after drinking a whole pitcher of lemonade. It was there, and impossible not to notice, and really wanted out.I giggled. Amaryllis would hate that analogy. She'd huff, and call me an idiot for even thinking it up. The giggles faded quickly enough, especially when the sound they made was strangely muted.Snapping my fingers, I moved my hand around and made some noise at different distances. The noise was swallowed more the further from me it was.I swung my arms out towards where my friends had been and encountered nothing. I didn't feel like I was in the same space.I had to think. Was this like a dungeon boss? But... no, dungeon bosses lived in dungeons, and we'd never entered one. If we had, there would have been that pop-up, right? And dungeons felt... dungeon-y. The mines here hadn't felt that way. No simple monsters, no sense of progression, no magical feel in the air.So, I was probably not in a dungeon. "Miss Laine? Sir Aberrforth?" I called out, just in case. Of course, there was nothing.Swallowing past a dry throat, I continued to look around, seeing nothing but Mister Menu floating nearby. That churning feeling continued to rise in me, but I kept it squished down.I could really use a hug.Or at least a friend.Reaching up, I touched the small collar around my neck. Orange's collar... Now that was an idea.But if this was a dangerous place, should I really call Orange over?On the other hand, if Orange went missing, maybe that would clue in the crew of the Beaver that something went wrong? It was a thin hope, but a hope nonetheless. So I pumped mana and will into the collar... and felt like I was trying to push water through a brick.I huffed out a breath. That was... a lot. But... but you could push water through a brick. I'd seen videos of that once upon a time. Big machines shooting water in a jet so tight and with such high pressure that they could cut through nearly anything.I pushed more mana, then more and more. It was still like pushing against something, but as I pressed harder and harder, a vein almost popping in my forehead and sweat collecting on my back, I could feel the barrier against my magic bend just a tiny smidge.That was all the sign I needed to press even harder.And just like that, my magic touched the collar, summoning Orange to me.The spirit cat-no longer a spirit kitten-appeared in mid-air, a glowing orange ball of smug and fur that I caught with a sweeping hug. "Orange!" I cheered.The cat blinked at me, then looked around, or tried to. Orange's glow helped push the darkness back, but only so much. It was as if she had the same illumination as a single candle as opposed to... well, a whole glowing cat's worth of glowiness."Hi," I said as I cradled her close. "I'm sorry to pull you from... naptime?"Orange nodded, then yawned, showing off all of her pretty little cat teeth."Sorry," I said again. "But, uh, I'm in a bit of trouble, I think."Orange looked up at me curiously."I don't know where my friends are, and I'm kinda stuck in... uh, an ancient mine which might hold some huge, scary monster. Also, it's dark, and magic doesn't seem to be working very well in here. Do you mind if I use you as a flashlight?"She didn't look very impressed with me, but she snuggled into my hug all the same and gave me a small bump with her head, almost as if to say that it was fine... as long as I gave her scritches. She liked them best around her ears and under her chin, of course, so I carefully shuffled her around in my grasp so that I could hug her close and give her the best scritches I could.With Orange's light to guide me, or at least banish the nearest edges of the darkness, I started through the tunnel.Jagged rocks — many of them just a bit taller than my ankles, some as big around as I was — loomed out of the blackness, casting long shadows back into the gloom, but the tunnel was... actually, this didn't feel like the mine tunnel anymore. Hadn't there been less rocks on the floor?The mine had rocky walls, chopped into by pickaxes but still covered in scars and breaks.This place? The walls had been smooth, once. Tremendous effort had been invested into carving the stone into flat planes and a gently curving vaulted ceiling.And then someone had desecrated all that effort, cutting and slashing and tearing and ripping into the stone. Every rock on the floor had been torn out of the walls; most of them had one side which was still perfectly smooth. I felt myself shying away from the wounds gouged into the walls. Everything about them felt like rage.Maybe it had been many someones, over a long time. I slowed as I saw the tip of a sword jammed into a crack in the wall. It was broken, as if it snapped after chopping into the stone. The sword was mostly rust now, dry rust that crumbled when I touched it.I rubbed my fingers together, and tried to Clean them but... there was still that resistance.Would it extend to my other abilities? Would I be able to make myself bigger or smaller, or jump higher? I was kind of afraid to test it.With Orange's light guiding me, I continued through the tunnel, my steps cautious and my heart pounding in the stillness. The walls around me seemed to close in, the still-smooth parts of the stone feeling more like a prison than a pathway. Could that be it? Was this a prison?A faint sound echoed through the tunnel and I paused. My ears all twitched, and I tried to pinpoint the source of the sound, but it was hard when all I heard were echoes."H-hello?" I called out; my trembling voice was swallowed up by the darkness, but a shiver ran down my spine. The air had shifted a little, and Orange's fur started to stand on end even as her little kitty ears folded back.As I moved deeper, the air grew colder, the oppressive darkness crushing in more heavily. Orange's glow shrank until I couldn't see my feet anymore. I hugged Orange tighter, her warmth a small comfort. The faint sounds grew louder, until I could start to make out individual sounds and I realized they were whispers.My feet stopped moving without me telling them to. My heart hammered away in my ribcage as Orange tried to hide herself in my arms.The whispers rose in intensity, even as I stood rooted to the spot. Insistent sounds became insistent words:"Who... approaches?"I froze, my breath catching in my throat. The voice was ancient, weary, tired. "My name is..." I hesitated. "My name is Broccoli.""Broccoli..." The voice seemed to taste the word, as if trying to remember what it meant. "Why... are you here... Broccoli?""I'm lost, and I can't find my friends. Who are you?""Someone forgotten, I suppose," the darkness said. Slowly, a vague figure appeared ahead of me. I could barely see it as anything more than a thin shadow, with limbs like sticks arranged in the shape of an emaciated man. He didn't come close at all, staying out in the dark and away from Orange's light.She growled at him, then hissed.I tried to use Insight on him, but nothing happened. "Do you-do you have a name?" I asked."I had one... once. It doesn't matter.""Well, I think it might?" I tried. "I've never had a friend without a name before. It would be hard for us to be friends without that, right?"The World Has No AnswerDesired Quality: None.Dream: None.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.I swallowed, then stepped forwards with a sniff. "I'm sorry," I said.The shadow shifted. "Sorry?" the voice questioned. "If you have something to say ... than speak plainly.""I've... I've never met someone who didn't think they deserved a friend before," I said. What other explanation could there be? No desired quality — or in other words, there was no quality he sought in a friend. That was the same as not wanting a friend at all. And no dream, either — a complete lack of dreams has the same as having no hope.But everyone had to want a friend, right? So, if he didn't want a friend ... there had to be a reason, right?If it was me... well, in that moment, the only reason I could think of was that, maybe, this person without a name didn't think they deserved a friend. And he had kept thinking that for so long that it stained every part of his being, until he truly believed it."You worry ... for my lack of friends?" he asked from right behind me.I gasped, spinning around to find the shadowy figure of a man sitting on a rock not too far behind me.He rose up, a barely visible patch of slightly different-colored gloom. "Who are you to look down on me, Riftwalker?""You, uh, you know that I'm a Riftwalker?" I asked."I do," he said. "For hundreds of years, I've had naught to do but Inspect every rock and stone and bone in this dismal place. There's little you can hide from me.""Okay," I said. "But I'm not really trying to hide anything."He scoffed. "Not trying to hide anything, are you? Then tell me, why have you come here? No one merely stumbles into this place by... accident."I hesitated, feeling a tight knot of uncertainty in my chest. "I'm not lying. We were exploring the mines and got separated. I ended up here. I'm just trying to find my friends and get out."The shadowy figure seemed to consider my words, his form flickering like a dying flame. "Exploring, you say? Seeking adventure, perhaps? Or something more?"I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves. "Adventure, yes. But also to help. Some explorers have gone missing in this mine, and we need to rescue them. We're... just trying to help?""Riftwalkers aren't here to help," he spat. "They're here to pillage and destroy and bring ruin upon this entire world.""What?" I asked. "I mean, that can't be right."The figure's form flickered. Orange's light was almost enough to see his face. It was thin, bony, almost skeletal, with brows drawn together, a mouth set in a growl. "You're naive if you think otherwise. This World has seen enough of your kind to know better.""I'm not like that," I insisted. "We're not like that. Please, just let me find my friends, and we'll prove it."He laughed. It was a harsh, mirthless sound that echoed through the darkness. "Prove it? You think your empty promises hold any weight? I've seen Riftwalkers like you come and go, leaving nothing but devastation in their wake — just as I did."I blinked, taken aback. "You were a Riftwalker? Are?" Was being a Riftwalker something that someone could stop being? I was one because I'd come to Dirt from Earth. Had this man been from Earth too? Another world? The only other Riftwalker I had met was Rainnewt, and he... okay, he didn't exactly give us a good name. He was ... pretty much exactly like the riftwalkers this shadowy guy was describing."I was a Riftwalker, yes. What does it matter?"I... well, I wouldn't mind learning about what you did?" I tried.The silence stretched, and I realized that the spot where the man had been was empty. All I was seeing was a faint afterimage seared into my eyes. When I blinked and searched for him, he was gone.I turned this way and that, looking for him, but nothing.Not until I almost stumbled on a small metal stool, looking entirely misplaced in these tunnels. Too new. All the metal I'd seen was rusty, and this stool was one of those fold-out camping sorts that had a tough cloth seat atop it.Was this from the explorers that had just gone missing?"Sit."I jumped, the voice having come from the dark again. He was there, barely visible.I carefully sat.The darkened figure was quiet for some time. Then he spoke. He sounded less angry now, more tired. "I arrived on this world of Dirt with dreams of conquest and glory. I climbed the ladder of power, giving no thought to the suffering and destruction I wrought with each step. But I made a lot of enemies," he gave a withered, self-deprecating chuckle, "just as I deserved. And so eventually, they banded together, and I was cursed and sealed into this mine. My reach was limited, but I still managed to ruin some things.""That must have been awful," I said, feeling a pang of sympathy."It was," he admitted, though his tone remained bitter. "But it was only what I deserved. I was beyond saving. The world is truly fortunate that someone put an end to my rampage. People ... I did not even think of them as people. Just sacks of experience, irritatingly mobile. I amassed power, obscene power, and all I could think to do with it was gather more."I didn't know what to say. The darkness shifted, but I couldn't tell if he'd really moved, or if my eyes were playing tricks on me.He let out a rattling sigh. "I've had hundreds of years to think and reflect on my actions. Time to cool off, as it were. But don't mistake my reflection for forgiveness. What I did was unforgivable. I despise what I was and what Riftwalkers represent."I nodded slowly. "I... I think you're not the only person who's done that kind of thing," I said. "But I also think that not all Riftwalkers need to be that way.""...It's strange, meeting another Riftwalker after all this time. I can see the same potential for power in you, but I also see something different. A weakness, perhaps. A desire to help.""I'm just trying to do what's right," I said, my voice trembling slightly. "I don't want to hurt anyone. And I don't think helping is a weakness."He nodded slowly. "I... wouldn't have agreed, once. Anything that stood in the way of advancement was... well, it was wrong, insomuch as I could conceive of 'wrong' in those days. Remember, the path to power is filled with temptations. It's easy to lose sight of everything outside of oneself." He gestured, a vague hand appearing out of the dark then disappearing again. "You say you want to help, but what will you do when helping means sacrificing your own goals? When it means giving up power?""I would help anyway," I said instantly. "If I ever have goals that would hurt an innocent person, than that means ... they're bad goals and I should drop them. And power ... if I have to choose between power and helping people, then of course I would choose to help people."He snorted. "You say that now, but if you every have a chance to seize true, world-shaking power, and all you have to do is hurt a few people ... temptation like that is not easily overcome. You could even declare that it is for the greater good.""I would never hurt my friends, so you're basically asking me to choose between power and friendship," I crossed my arms, and Orange glared into the dark. "I'd always choose friendship.""Oh?" a faint line stretched in the darkness, a suggestion of a stern frown. "Friends only?""You say that like there's some kind of limit." I shook my head. "My mom used to tell me that even if I couldn't help everyone, that was no excuse not to befriend the people I meet. Everyone I meet is my friend. I'll always choose them over simple power."The figure scoffed, but there was a hint of something softer in his voice. "You are naive."That stung a little. I knew that I wasn't the wisest but... "How many friends do you have?" I asked.He was silent for a very long time."Maybe I should have been more naive myself," he muttered.We sat in silence for a few moments, the weight of his words settling over me. Finally, I spoke. "Can you help me find my friends? Please?"Again, the silence stretched on, and I could feel his eyes on me, weighing my worth. "Very well," he said at last. "I will help you. But understand this: the darkness in these tunnels is not just a lack of light. It is the embodiment of all the despair and corruption I wrought. It will test you, push you to your limits. If you can withstand it, you might just find your friends.""Thank you," I said, my voice sincere. "I'll do my best."With a nod, the figure began to move, his form almost blending into the shadows as he led the way deeper into the tunnels. Orange's light flickered, casting eerie shadows on the walls, but I clung to the small comfort it provided.As we walked, the figure spoke again. "Tell me about your friends. Why do you care so much about finding them?""Because they're my friends," I replied simply. "They mean everything to me. Amaryllis is smart and clever, and Awen is kind and braver than she knows. Calamity is funny, and Desiree is so, so curious. We've been through so much together. I can't imagine leaving them behind."The figure made a sound that might have been a chuckle. "Friendship. Another thing I sacrificed for power. It's a powerful force, even if it cannot be expressed in ranks or levels. Hold onto it tightly, Riftwalker, I suspect it is your greatest strength."I smiled. "I know."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and One — For Want of a Thousand Nails
Chapter Five Hundred and One — For Want of a Thousand Nails I was expecting my new... not-a-friend-yet to lead me to my friends. I didn't expect it to take as long as it did.Orange's light lit up more of the tunnels as we dove deeper in. Stairs led us down, down far more than a single floor, thin, narrow steps, the middle of which were ground down by time and constant steps.I followed the shadow of the figure ahead of me until we came to a small landing. There was an open door here, thick wooden boards held together by cold iron straps as wide as my handspan. Strangely, the door was free of both rust and rot, unlike almost everything else I'd seen in the mine."Here," he said simply as he passed the door.I paused, looking for a moment at the space in the wall where the door's latch would be. It was carved out and destroyed."Is this where my friends are?" I asked as I followed."In a way," he said."What way?" I asked.Instead of answering, the figure disappeared. I felt a chill from behind me and spun around. He was by the door now, and I saw its shadow shift as the door slammed closed. "This is why I'm trapped here. Why I became trapped," he said."This room?" I asked. If this is where he was trapped, why did he lead me here? I didn't think he would agree to help me, then take me on a wild goose chase. He didn't seem interested in roundabout plots like that."Behind you," he said.I didn't want to turn around. I felt an instinct to keep an eye on him, but he was so much stronger than me that turning my back on him wasn't going make my position any worse.I turned.There was something in the centre of the room. Something still shrouded by the dark until I took a step closer to it. Then I recognized it.Or, I recognized similar things because I'd seen more than half a dozen by then. A large, perfect sphere on a plinth. The pillar holding it up was covered in thin, careful carvings, each one precise and meaningless to me, but they thrummed with magic, and the ball... the dungeon core, was the same. I could feel the hairs on my arm and the back of my neck rise as I looked at it."A dungeon core," I said."I think I first came here to destroy it," he said. "To scramble a bit farther up the ladder of power.""You didn't," I said."It enticed me instead. The secret of a tiny, forgotten nation's power. Hidden out of the way, in a mine that no one cared for, a temple hidden from the World itself."I felt him come closer behind me, Orange's light dimmed."Touch it," he ordered.I swallowed. I was very worried that the order was absolute. There wouldn't be any refusing it. Not easily. So I shuffled Orange in my grip a little, then carefully reached a hand out towards the dungeon core. It didn't feel as alive, as powerful, as a real core. Or maybe it was less that the core was unreal, and more that it was inactive?My fingertips brushed the core.It was like I'd shuffled over some shag carpet with socks on, then touched a metal doorknob — a jolt shot up my arm, up my spine, up through my head until my ears tingled all the way to their tips-......I saw ... what I saw next ...It's hard to explain. I'm not even sure it was real.It was ... me. At some point I closed my eyes, And I saw me.Not the me in this not-dungeon, but me of a while ago. Me standing next to a great tree, and I knew two things right away.First, I wasn't the only one seeing this. The shadow man was there too, although he was looking rather less ... shadowy.He was standing off to the side. An older man, the age I could last remember my grandfather being before he passed away. Leathery skin, lots of wrinkles, a slightly stooped back, and too-thin... everything.He was standing next to this tree as well, watching it.The other thing I knew right away was that the tree was more than just a tree. It was a display of branching paths. Every path that wasn't taken, every missed opportunity.The me next to the tree opened her eyes, and our gazes met.I, and I think the old man too, saw it all unfold all at once.I can't explain all of them, there were too many, but I can explain some of them.Imagine me, Broccoli Bunch, newly arrived on Dirt. I woke up in a tower in a mysterious town filled with ghosts. I met Bonesy... only I didn't.Instead, this me didn't make that first friend. I was harassed by ghosts and hurt by them. I ran. Not east towards the Deepmarsh, but west, deeper into the Darkwoods.I met pixies, and with nothing to offer them, was rebuffed. I met dryads, but they didn't care for my sort.Deeper and deeper into the woods. Hungrier by the day.Lonelier.So I made connections in the wild. Somehow, I lived long enough to turn Cinnamon Bun into Wild Hair Hare. A class that grew my hair out until I could wield it like thorns and tentacles. I explored the Darkwoods with two locks of hair sticking out of the top of my head like bunny ears. I made the woods home. And when I saw what the people of the west were doing, with their industrial clearcutting and colonization campaign, I had to choose between friendship for all ... or helping the friends I already had.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.I chose to help my friends, and led the rebellion against the west.Needleford fell to a tide of friendly woodland creatures led by a bare-footed me, with support from dryads and bees and all sorts of monsters that called the Darkwoods their home....Another me, another situation that felt surreal. This one split elsewhere, further into my adventure. I never became an explorer. Instead, I discovered Port Royal and made it home. The big city wasn't a place for a bun with no money, but there were opportunities there still.I met Booksie, and decided that I could still be a good person even if it meant doing things that were maybe not as legal.When I hit my class evolution, I did so to become a Cinnamon Bundit, a thief and highwaybun that stuck up nobles for their money, who fought the gangs of Port Royal by night, and who sank all of her time and resources into making the uglier parts of Port Royal a little nicer.Eventually, I was kicked out of the city, but I didn't take my exile alone. The slums left with me, a great exodus that sent the city's economy into freefall as half the workforce vanished overnight. It was okay, we were the biggest, happiest of families, a band of self-reliant nomads in search of a place to call home....Another.Instead of picking Wonderlander, I took up the mantle of a Puppeteer, just like Amaryllis picked for her second class, but instead of only using it tangentially, and to empower her magic and tricks, I went hard into the hobby.We stayed in Rosenbell for a few weeks more so that I could learn from puppetmakers there and train a little more.When we restarted our journey, I was a little more reclusive. I'd found a new passion, one that I really wanted to master.Then Amaryllis and Awen both died.It happened suddenly. A surprise attack by a Living Diamond Sandstorm on the route that I only barely survived.But I could help, I could bring them back. Bodies were like puppets, weren't they? So I raised them up, and we kept on going, kept adventuring and being the very best of best friends who never argued unless it was in jest.I spent more and more time fixing my friends and replacing parts until I needed a small carriage to travel with. When war broke out in the east, I was somehow there.There were so many parts for my friends on a battlefield......I get lost in the Darkwoods and meet Laine early, becoming a Darkbun Witch and learning old magics....Bastion and I succeed in capturing Rainnewt at the Harpy Ball, putting an end to his badness early....I foiled Rainnewt early, by accident, and so he confronts me early, and we become friends, of a sort. I join him, acting as a restraint on his ambitions and pushing him to be better even as he encourages me to be worse....We never pick up the Beaver Cleaver. Instead, we grab a brand new Albatros Cruiser. A massive warship that marks us as a threat wherever we go. Soon, I'm not a captain, but an admiral....Awen fails to defuse the bomb in Sylphfree. I almost die. The king does. Caprica takes the throne, and in her anger at losing her father, at losing Bastion, she declares war on everyone. The first world war Dirt has ever seen begins, and I take too long healing to stop it....I tell the grenoil party about the Wonderlander dungeon, and how I broke its core. They drag me back to be executed in Port Royal....Bonesy lives... for a certain definition of lives, and my magic combines Cleaning and Necromancy into something holy and not. I make friends with a thousand ghosts, uncovering their pasts and settling their angry souls until they congregate around me as a band of ghostly mercenaries....After talking to Rhawrexdee's mom, I somehow convince Cholondee to join our party. Having a dragon in our group changes the dynamic a whole lot, but it's fun all the same!...Another...Then another, then another.I gasped as I stumbled back and away from the orb. "No!" I said before shaking my head. There were tears in my eyes, and I only realized then how much my head was splitting."Incredible," the old man whispered. Now that I'd seen him, sorta, I could better fit what I was seeing in the shadows to reality. "A thousand possibilities, and yet you so often remain impossibly naive and pure.""What, what was that?" I asked."A test. One that I and so many others failed," he said. "Sit. I will explain."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Two — Choice Paralysis
Chapter Five Hundred and Two — Choice Paralysis There was a chair for me to sit on. Again, that same folding chair that I suspected belonged to Sir Aberrforth's friends.I looked around the darkened room. The core was actually glowing a little now, but that same glow was fading away. I could imagine it being much brighter a few moments ago, and now it was returning to dormancy. Was it the kind of thing that only used up magic while it was active?Actually, that would make a lot of sense. Aside from my shadowy companion, this core probably almost never encountered anyone else. It made sense that it might spend most of its time hibernating. Maybe it even had to save up magic to generate those visions. I had no idea how much magic it took to predict an alternate timeline, but I imagined it was ... a lot? Probably? Seeing visions and stuff couldn't be easy or simple magics. Imagining different scenarios based on a person's past like that?I blinked, then reached up and rubbed at my face. I'd been crying a little.There had been so many visions there where I didn't have the friends I had now. The later on they became my friend, the less likely they were to be friends with me in the visions. Amaryllis was common, but Awen less so. I rarely made friends with Bastion at all, and that means that Caprica was out of the picture most of the time. Booksie was a frequent friend, surprisingly, and that meant that Rhawrexdee was there too sometimes. Calamity was someone I never met in any of my visions.Still, I was rarely friendless in those visions. I often joined that group of grenoil explorers I first met. I had seen a few versions where I became friends with that innkeeper in Rockstack, working for her, or sticking around her inn for weeks or months."Are you caught?" the old man asked.I blinked, then shook my head to recentre myself. "Caught?" I asked."In the visions of what could be?" He looked to the orb, almost longingly. "This thing trapped me here. I think... I think I could leave it now, but its visions would remain with me forever.""What is it?" I asked."It was a dungeon core, once," he said and I nodded at that. That fit the look of it. "Its dungeon was dangerous, though. Even before it had a second floor, the elders of the villages nearby knew it to be a threat. A dungeon of reminiscence. A dungeon where you see all of the potential you once had and squandered.""All the friends you could have made along the way," I added.He gave me a look, but didn't prod further. "The elders came together and destroyed the dungeon. Not entirely, because the locals have a long list of superstitions and foibles about breaking dungeon cores, but that didn't stop them from toying with the core, using their magics on it, and turning it into this.""Did they just leave it here?" I asked."No. It was their challenge. Young men and women would be sent down here and shown how they had failed, how different choices might have improved their lives." He leaned back, head tilting to the side. "I suppose it introduced some to introspection.""Okay," I said. "That doesn't explain, well, you."He grinned. A flash of gums in the dark. "I wanted power. I wanted to see my levels rise. I wanted to be stronger. The pillar of my existence was to seek greater power, and these visions showed me how to do it."I nodded. In some of those visions, I'd made so many more friends than I had now. If I could just figure out how to backtrack and find them ...... He said he had wanted power. In his visions, he probably didn't focus on friends, but on personal strength. Did he see a million ways that he could become more powerful, faster?"It'd be pretty tempting to watch these visions over and over," I said."Yes."I could imagine it. In a different world-ironically-where I had no friends and desperately wanted them, if I'd been given the chance to touch this core and see all the friendships I missed out on... well, even now it hurt a little. So many meetings that would never happen, so many potential friends that I'd never actually make.It was passing, now. The details were growing blurry, like trying to remember a dream after it had happened. "It trapped you," I said. "You wanted to grow stronger, so the core showed you all the ways you could have been stronger.""And weaker. It doesn't discriminate. But yes, it's the paths to greater power that interested me most. Cleaning. That's your magic, isn't it?"I nodded. There was no point in hiding it."Weak. But taken to a logical extreme. A simple skill built up over and over again until it grows into something more powerful. Do you know how many skills have that kind of application?"This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there."Um, no?""Plenty. That's not to mention those skills which are strong to begin with. I left this place, at first. It gave me so many avenues to pursue, so many images of alternate versions of myself who had grown strong. The visions fade. Like waking from a dream, but the broad strokes remain. So I followed in my own footsteps. I attacked dungeons and destroyed them for the skill points I'd earn. I killed animals, monsters, people. I gathered a dozen of the most powerful skills I could and grew them to their limit. But I needed more. More guidance, more of an idea on how to grow even stronger.""So you returned here.""Constantly. Until the day I was trapped. Do you know what I regret most?""What?" I asked."Myself. I regret... me. I..." He paused for a moment, and I remained quiet as he searched for words. "I regret my own greed for more. Because it lead me to where I am now, when I could have been so much happier with far less. Now I have immortality, and nothing to do with it."The cave felt very quiet then. Quiet and cold and lonely.The silence stretched between us, thick and heavy. I swallowed, feeling the weight of his words settle into the pit of my stomach. "Immortality?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.He nodded slowly. "Yes. I sought skills to avoid death, to avoid the natural course of life. I wanted to transcend it, to become something more than human. And in a way, I did. But it wasn't what I expected. It wasn't freedom. It was a curse."I took a step closer, feeling the coolness of the stone under my bare feet. "Why didn't you leave? You said you could.""Those same villagers, the elders, they knew what I was up to and trapped me here. The trap has long since worn itself out. Now I'm just... I don't think I can leave."He was afraid. Like someone who hadn't set foot outside in so long that now the very thought made them anxious. It was the kind of thing that might be fixed with good friends and a lot of patience, but I didn't imagine that he was getting a lot of that in here."I took my revenge. Even in here, I could strike out. I think I destroyed an entire civilization. To be sure, it was only a small, forgotten one..." he gave a dry chuckle. "... What an accomplishment." I saw his palms, flat out towards me in a gesture of surrender that quickly faded back into the dark."I'm sorry," I said."Sorry about what?" he asked. "No, nevermind. You can leave. Your friends are wandering about, but the prison isn't a maze. You'll find them.""Leave?" I asked. "What about you?""I'll live. Heh."I blinked fast. "No," I said.He tensed. I couldn't quite see it, in the dark, but the black took on a quality that reminded me of a cat turning a corner to find a snake on the ground ahead of them.I had to explain, before he misunderstood. "Being alone here, being stuck in a cave with nothing but that thing, that's not living," I said. "That's surviving, but only barely. Living is... living is having good friends, living is helping others, living is waking up and being proud of what you've done and having more to do that you look forward to doing. I saw a lot of past versions of me just now. Some of them were very sad, but I think that all of them were still living. Mister... um, I never got your name. But Mister, I don't think what you're doing is living."He stared at me, and I could feel his gaze like a cool brush of wind across my skin. "You might be right," he said.I took a small step closer. "Then come with me? With us? You can leave this place. We can break that thing. You don't have to stay here and be alone anymore."He hesitated. There was a flicker to the darkness. "Do me a favour," he said."Okay," I replied."Break it before you leave.""Are... are you coming with me?" I asked."Do you really believe that even I deserve a second chance?" he asked."Yes," I said.The dark felt a little warmer for a moment. It was a strange sensation that passed as soon as it came. "Then that makes one of us," he replied. "Goodbye, Broccoli. Forget this place, if you can. But don't forget what you learned here."There was a flicker, and suddenly things weren't as dark. Orange's light now bathed the entire room, and I felt like I'd just shucked off a heavy winter jacket, the weight pushing me down from all over was gone.And so was the old man."Wait, what about my friends? Weren't you going to help me find them?" I asked no one.I licked my lips and looked around the room, but there were no signs of him. He was gone, for real. I hugged Orange closer, then eyed the core.Well, I supposed he had asked for me to do him a favour...
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Three — Core Weakness
Chapter Five Hundred and Three — Core Weakness I stared at the core for a long while. I was... hesitating, a little. Everyone kept telling me that breaking a core was wrong. I'd done it before, a couple of times, but that was before I knew that it was considered a bad thing. And since then, I hadn't done it again.It was... well, doing something wrong when you didn't know it was wrong was still bad, but it wasn't as bad as doing something wrong when you knew it was wrong. Right? That seemed like a reasonable enough way to look at things.This core, though... well, it was covered in fine cracks, and now that I really looked, was its glow as strong as an actual dungeon's core? Those always filled the rooms they were in with so much raw mana that it was dangerous to stay close to them for more than a few minutes.I glanced at my status and...Mana: 165/165Nothing too unusual there. I wasn't using any mana at the moment, so it was holding at full. I pushed out a bit of Cleaning magic from my skin and shuddered as I felt it wash over me. Was I really that dirty or... or had I just gotten used to being impossibly clean at all times?I created a small Lightball, and this time it lit up the entire room, better even than Orange's glow could. It revealed ancient cracks on the walls and heaps of dust in the corners. No one had swept this place in... a long while.I returned my attention to the dungeon core while shifting my hold on Orange.I was... a little tempted to touch it again. The memories of what I'd seen were fading. I could remember a few highlights, some of the more shocking alternate mes. I could also remember being closer to some people than I was now. The shadows of memory were tantalisingly just out of reach, like words I was sure I should've known, just on the tip of my tongue.If I touched it, maybe I'd learn a little bit more about my friends? Ways to get closer to them, their favourite meals, and memories of the best times we had together?Orange nipped my hand and I jumped on the spot, spooked by the sudden bite. Was I... daydreaming for long? I licked my lips and glared at the core. Is this what the shadow man meant when he said the core was tempting? I was, in the back of my head, plotting ways to plant it on the Beaver as a sort of... tool for predicting the future. But it didn't predict the future, did it? None of the visions went beyond the current time. They were all alternate pasts.Even if wasn't prediction, that was still a way to get information. I'd seen ... I was sure I'd seen Amaryllis from a hundred different angles, now. In a way, I knew her better, didn't I?I raised a hand up, formed a Fireball in my palm, and let the simple spell zip forwards to crash into the side of the orb.The moment my spell penetrated deep enough, the core seemed to pop, like... punching a cake that hid a big balloon under the icing.Almost as soon as the first bit of the core hit the ground, a status screen appeared before me.Dungeon Cleared!All adversaries within The Probable Dungeon Defeated.All Bosses DefeatedBroccoli Bunch, Cinnamon Bun Bun, level 17, Wonderlander, level 6 is awarded the — class.All class slots filled.Replace current class with Impro-?Replacing your current class will reset your level 0."Uh," I said, hesitating before I shook my head. "No thank you?"Class: -babl— set in abeyance until Class Slot becomes available.I let out a little 'phew' as a heap of stress leaked out of me. That wasn't something I wanted. I was happy being a Cinnamon Bun Bun, more than I'd be happy being... what looked like a clerical error.Then, as if Dirt noticed my sudden lack of tension, I got another screen that popped up before me.Dungeon WarningDungeon Stability Failing.Evacuate.My ears went straight and my spine tingled. The dungeon was gonna explode? I looked around in a panic and... noticed a lot of nothing going on. The last time I'd been in a dungeon that broke apart after its core broke had been a while ago, but... yeah, that dungeon had started to break apart almost right away.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.This one had nothing of the sort going on in it. The walls seemed fine, the floor didn't shake, and the mana in the air didn't feel any different. There was neither more nor less of it that I could notice. Was the warning just a sort of automated warning?I decided that caution was probably the better part of valour anyway. It was probably safer to go and find my friends and regroup first rather than stick around.The Probable Dungeon Core Destroyed!You have gained: Two General PointsI gasped. General points! I had four of those left, but I'd been saving them up as if they were the last I would ever receive. Two more was... kinda of huge! That was two more general skills levelled up if I wanted to or another general skill brought up to a much higher rank.I swallowed, then let out a puff of a breath. This was good, but finding my friends was better. Now... it was just a question of figuring out where they were."Let's go, Orange," I said. I left my lightball behind. It would burn itself out eventually without mana being fed to it constantly, but before then it would at least mark out the room for me. I created another, then tied it to the tip of one ear so that it was floating above and ahead of me.Orange started to purr, and I absently scritched her between the ears as we walked. The tunnels were still kind of spooky, but having more light decreased the spook-factor by a whole order of magnitude.I could hear the echo of my footfalls, which gave me an idea. "Hello!" I called out ahead.My voice returned to me, but it wasn't alone. "Broccoli? Coli? Coli?" came back a moment later. That was Desiree's voice!I took off in a slow jog, moving faster, but not so fast that I'd trip over any of the loose stones on the way. "Hello!" I called out again. "It's me!"It took a few calls back and forth, but soon enough I spotted some light in the tunnel ahead, then rounded a bend to find Desiree, and Awen too!"Broccoli!" Awen said. She rushed over, ready for a hug, but paused when she saw Orange in my arms. "And Orange?""Hi!" I said with a laugh. It felt incredible, just seeing one of my friends in the flesh. Like removing something too tight and finally being able to breathe. "Yeah, I summoned her because it was too dark and magic wasn't working, and she kept me safe while I met... someone in the dark. It's a long story. Oh gosh, I'm happy to see you!" I gave Awen a tight-tight hug. It was one-armed, because I still had to cradle Orange, but I made it as good of a hug as I could manage."I'm happy to see you too," Awen said."Indeed!" Desiree said, and it was her turn for hugs. "We were quite worried. Awen and I almost literally bumped into each other in the dark.""Oh! That's good," I said. "You haven't seen anyone else?""No, not yet at least," Awen said. "Did the dark become less dark for you too? Maybe ten minutes ago?""Uh-huh," I said with a nod. "I'll explain in a bit, but we should find the others. Amaryllis, Calamity, ah, Sir Aberrforth and Miss Laine as well. Oh, and his explorers, if they're still around.""Have you explored a lot of the tunnels?" Awen asked.I shook my head, then looked about. The walls were so similar that it was hard to tell if I'd passed through this exact spot before or not. "I don't think it's a maze-maze," I said. "But we can go around and start looking? Maybe leave signs for our friends to follow if they come from behind?""I can do that," Awen said. She focused for a moment, then created a small hip-high sign made of spun glass. It was an arrow pointing in the direction opposite the one I'd come from. A bit more magic lit the sign up from within with a faint glow. "That should stay lit for an hour or two," she said."Clever!" I cheered. That earned her a second hug.Okay, so maybe I was just a little hug-starved at the moment and absolutely anything justified more hugs."Let's go collect our friends!"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Four — Lighter
Chapter Five Hundred and Four — Lighter Awen and Desiree both had better light-making magic than I had. Awen with her Glass-magic, which she could empower with a bit of magic to turn a bulb of glass into a bright beacon, and Desiree with a rather unique spell that created two balls of light on the end of her tails, each individually brighter than my own Lightball spell.I just kept my lightball tied to my ear tip to give us some idea of where the ceiling was, and of course Orange glowed warmly where she was cuddled in my arms.With the four of us providing some light and no freaky darkness magic keeping the area shrouded in shadows, the weird gashed walls weren't nearly as scary. It was pretty easy to navigate the tunnels.Easy, but not... simple.The tunnels might have been well-built, but they were also kind of confusing. We passed several intersections, only pausing long enough for Awen to scratch a marking on the wall pointing in the direction we were walking.As we entered on of the intersections, Awen frowned and inspected the floor. "There's an incline here," she said."There is?" I asked. I knelt down, careful not to squish Orange any more than she'd be during a hug, and then eyed the ground. It looked pretty even to me.Awen searched her pockets and came out with a piece of string. A few moments later, and there was a tear-shaped bulb on the end. She lowered the bulb to the ground and held it by the far end of the string. "See?" she said.A plumb bob! With the string hanging straight down, I could see that the floor sure did have a slight angle. "Wow, you're right! How did you even notice?" It was only off by a couple of degrees. I had lived in homes that had floors more uneven than that."Huh? I thought it was kind of obvious?""Do you believe that we ought to go uphill, then?" Desiree asked as she eyed the turn in question. The tunnel didn't look any different to the others as far as I could tell."I think so," Awen said. "No matter what, we want to go up toward the surface.""Makes sense to me," I said. "Let's leave another mark though, just in case."We did more than that. Awen scratched a curved arrow on the wall, a small explanation that we went that way, and then created a glowing arrow of glass in the middle of the path showing which way we went in.We wanted to be sure that any friend behind us would eventually find their way back to us. I could easily imagine how awful it would be to be stuck in a space like this all alone for more than a few minutes, and that wasn't the kind of fate I'd ever want to leave one of my friends in. And that old man? How had he managed for so long?Was he going to leave now? I... really hoped so. I kind of felt guilty that I hadn't managed to convince him to leave better.As we started up the tunnel, I felt it starting to rise. By the time we reached another intersection, there was a definite angle to the floor, enough that someone might stumble and miss a step if they weren't careful.The ground levelled off ahead according to Awen, but the passage to our right climbed once more, so off we went in that direction after leaving more markers behind. It didn't take long that we heard something out ahead.My ears twitched up, and I saw Desiree tilt her head to one side, her own fox ears shifting slightly. "Is that whistling I hear?" she asked."Calamity!" I shouted.The whistling stopped, and soon footsteps were coming closer.I met Calamity with a big glomping hug that sent Orange scurrying out of my arms a moment before collision. "You're alive!" I cheered."What? Was there any doubt about that?" he asked as he quickly returned the hug with a manly pat on my back and then pulled away. "I'm not so easy to get rid of, Broccoli. Ah, and you found Awen and Desiree already... and Orange?"He looked down at Orange. She replied with a faint flick of the end of her tail."I called her when the dark got... a little too dark," I said."Ah, yeah, that'll do it," he replied with a nod. "It did get dark. And here I thought my cat eyes were best suited to navigating in the dark, but I couldn't see a single thing even with them. We were teleported, right?""I... guess so. This doesn't look like the mines," I said."Well, one man's dark and dusty tunnel is another man's creepy underground fortress." He shrugged, then greeted Awen and Desiree. After chatting for a minute, we discovered that he'd had the same idea, and was travelling upwards, though he hadn't thought to leave any marks behind except for a few scuffs of his shoes. He suggested that I use some Cleaning aura too, to make the path we took clearer, and because the dust in the air was making him sneezy.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.With Calamity with us, I felt a bunch more confident. He had the right kind of skills to lead us through the tunnels, and could more or less confirm that he knew which way was north even after being teleported and turned around. He said that had more to do with being a cat than any navigational skills, but I wasn't sure about that.In any case, we weren't heading into the mountain, which was good, it meant that as long as the tunnels continued to climb, we'd eventually break through the surface.We were five or so minutes deeper into our walk when I heard someone coming up from behind. Instinctively, we all stopped. All three of us beast-types twitched our ears toward the sound, while Awen reshaped one of her floating glass lanterns to focus the beam down the tunnel. However, behind us was a sharp bend in the tunnel, so we couldn't actually see very far.The footsteps got closer.Desiree's tails had poofed up, and Awen had unlimbered her crossbow, but ... I felt calm, and Calamity had a neutral expression on his face. I caught his gaze, and he just gave an unconcerned shrug."Let's hold here for a minute and see who it is," I said, in the most confident voice I could.Evidentially, that was pretty confident, because Desiree relaxed and Awen lowered her crossbow.Maybe I had gone a little loopy, or maybe it was Friendmaking or something, but I had a feeling that anyone we met in here was likely a friend.It was neither a friend, nor an enemy, but a strange grenoil man in padded armour and with a sort of very large pith hat on. We stared at each other, at least until I noticed the Exploration Guild pin on his clothes. I flashed my own, and Awen did the same, and then we greeted him properly.As it turned out, he had been lost in the dark for at least a day. Or what felt like a day to him, he said that telling time was difficult when he couldn't see anything at all. Worse, his mana had run out and he had been feeling rather terrible for the last bit. I could hear the relief in his voice as he spoke.He was more than willing to join us to search for the others as long as it meant that he'd have a good chance to get out of here. When he learned that we were with Sir Aberrforth, his mood was mixed. The man had kind of abandoned him and his companions to go on what this guy felt was a foolish quest to woo a woman who didn't want anything to do with him.We continued upwards, Calamity rubbing the grenoil's back as the man muttered about his experiences. I felt like maybe I should ask the guild master about therapy and such. Was that something offered to members? It felt like maybe it ought to be if it wasn't. That, or group hug sessions.Eventually, I made out some light ahead of us, way off in the distance. It was a pale whitish-blue light that I instantly recognized. We picked up the pace, came around a corner, and I found myself laughing as I rushed towards a narrow-eyed Amaryllis."Wait!" she snapped.I came to a stop mid hug-run. "Huh?"Amaryllis was eyeing me, a hand splayed ahead of her. Behind, there was Sir Aberrforth, Laine, and two grenoils in explorer gear, one was recognizably the one we'd found earlier in the mines. "How do I know you're really Broccoli?" she asked."Uh... are we worried about clones and illusions again?" I asked."That darkness had to be high-level illusion magic," she said. "So yes.""Oh. Well, I hadn't thought of that. Oh! We have Orange with us! That's proof?""No it's not. Orange wasn't with us before, so if anything that's the opposite of proof.""Oh," I said.Her arm lowered. "But it might be. No one would purposefully make their illusion as... dimwitted as you.""Yay!" I said as I rushed ahead and grabbed Amaryllis in a tight-tight hug. "I'm happy you're my friend," I said as I held her close. I'd seen too many futures where she wasn't to dismiss what I had. And what I had was a fantastic bunch of friends that I wouldn't change for anything.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Five — Sympathy for the Monster
Chapter Five Hundred and Five — Sympathy for the Monster "You can unhand me, now," Amaryllis said."I'm not quite done yet," I said as I gave her a cheek rub for good measure."Is this normal?" Laine asked."Awa, I think so?" Awen tried.I decided that two minutes was long enough for a hug, at least this kind of 'I'm happy you're alive' hug. Obviously, I could have gone on for longer, but I didn't want to annoy Amaryllis too much."Sorry," I said. "I was just really worried."Amaryllis huffed a weird huff that was hard to translate, then she reluctantly wrapped her wings around me. "Fine," she said. "I was worried about you too. For nothing, obviously."I grinned. "I think everyone's made it here, then?" I glanced around and counted heads. Obviously Awen and Calamity and Desiree were fine. Orange was snoozing. Miss Laine was here, as was Sir Aberrforth, and they seemed to be standing closer to each other than I would have expected from the witch's previous behaviour towards him. The explorer we'd found earlier was patting the shoulders of two others who'd been with Amaryllis.It looked like the one we'd found in the mines was here too, he looked happiest of all to see his friends."Is everyone safe, then?" I asked."Safe?" Miss Laine asked. "Hardly. After being scattered through these blighted tunnels by that blackness, I no longer have any conception of where we are. We're easy prey for the monster that stalks these halls."I glanced at Laine. "Would this ... monster ... happen to be a shadowy figure hidden in an aura of near-impenetrable darkness?"Laine whirled to face me. "So you've seen it!" she breathed out."Yeah, I've talked to him. We shouldn't have any problems getting out.""You what," she said so flatly that I wasn't even sure it was a question."I spoke to him for a while. He's... not that bad?"She stared at me for a long moment, her mouth working soundlessly. "... The monster living here is evil," Laine said. "My predecessors have been guarding this area for generations, fearful of the day he'd emerge from this accursed maze to destroy what's left of the Darkwoods and the world beyond that.""Well, he's had a long time to reflect, you know? Centuries, it sounds like. He really ... the way he talked, he really hates his past self. He said that it was good for the World that he'd been sealed away." I wrung my fingers together. "I think he's a better person, now."Laine shook her head. "You are mistaken. A monster cannot simply cease to be evil. Those kinds of stains don't wash out.""I mean, maybe not instantly, but I'd like to think that evil doesn't really exist as like... a tangible thing. It's meanness done for the joy of being mean with no regard for how it hurts people, but that's not something solid. It's more like... a sliding scale of nice to mean, and sure, he was pretty deep into the mean at one point, but the fun thing with sliding scales is that you can slide back sometimes, with some effort. Am I making sense?"Miss Laine didn't seem to believe that was likely. "You're claiming that the creature in this space is what... kind and friendly now?""Uh, well, maybe he hasn't slid back that far yet," I said. "But he didn't hurt me, did he? He was maybe a little rude, and socially awkward, but those are a far cry from being evil right? He's been buried underground for hundreds of years, so ... that makes sense! Not a lot of opportunities to socialise! And anyway, being rude and awkward isn't evil, right?""The legends say that he destroyed multiple towns and stole a precious artefact," Miss Laine said. Her hands found themselves on her hips and she looked less than amused.My friends were watching the confrontation, which made it a smidge awkward."Well... okay, that is a rather mean thing to do, but it was a long, long time ago, right?" I winced even as I said it. Time was only so much of an excuse for bad things. "A-anyway. I reasoned with him, tried to make friends, and one thing led to another and he left. I don't know if it's to sulk or meditate or if he just turned shy, but he at least let the lights come back on. Sorta." I gestured to the magical lights we were all using to push away the dark."We can discuss morality and the like once we're back under the open sky," Amaryllis said. "I'm not fond of enclosed spaces at the best of times, and this one I like less than most."That seemed reasonable. We asked around to see if anyone had a good idea on how to leave the cave, and it turned out that one of the Exploration Guild grenoil had a skill that helped them navigate dungeons and the like.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.That reminded me that I had to tell my friends the full story of what happened below, but... I wasn't sure if I should say it in hearing range of the others. I liked to think of myself as the trusting sort, but there was a difference between being trusting and being willing to spill dangerous secrets in front of people I'd known for less than a day.The faded memory of being executed for dungeon murder still lingered in my mind. Even if I had a good reason to ... break ... the vision-core, I wasn't sure that Laine and Aberrforth and his companions would be understanding.The grenoil led us up, then around a bend, and finally back down a rather heavily sloped room. I was worried that maybe his skill was on the fritz, but the passage soon levelled off and brought us into an area where the walls turned more natural and where a large steel door barred the way out.It was made of metal thicker than a finger joint and even with the rust covering it, the door seemed strong. Which is why it was so worrisome that it was bent and dented as if it was made of cardboard and someone really angry let off some steam against it.The door was technically still closed, but the bottom was bent up enough to squeak through without any trouble.So we did, filing out into what looked like a more natural cave without any of the signs that someone had worked on the walls or built anything other than that doorway. One of the grenoil recognized the area, though. "There's a part of the mines that leads here," he said. "We walked right past this place, I think. But we didn't see the... oh."Turning, I looked at the door and... it wasn't there. There was just solid stone. Calamity was closer, and he reached out to touch the stone only to pull his hand back covered in red rust. "The door's there," he said. "Just illusioned away.""And in a darkened tunnel, without strong mana-sensing, you'd never think to look," Amaryllis said. "Clever.""My ancestors built this trap, this prison, very carefully," Miss Laine said."Not carefully enough to keep whatever was in there in, clearly," Amaryllis said. "That door's not keeping anything determined away, and I can't sense any magical traps in the air here. If there were any, they're worn out."Miss Laine didn't seem happy to have her ancestor's work poked at by Amaryllis' rather critical opinions. I patted Amaryllis on the wing to tell her to calm down a little."Let's just get out of here?" I asked."Before that, we should return to where we were before we got pulled down," Calamity said. "I dropped some gear when I got yoinked."There were a few more nods all around, so he wasn't the only one who'd lost some equipment. I hadn't even thought about it, but it was true that I'd had Weedbane with me earlier and now it was gone. Oops?The grenoil led us up and through the mines, taking their time as we came to areas where the supports had fallen apart or where parts of the mine had started to collapse. It looked like time was wearing out the mines in a bad way. There was even a small stream of water running down the side of one tunnel we walked through. I figured there were good odds that parts of the mine were flooded.Eventually, we were back in the sections we'd come down earlier, and then it wasn't hard to retrace our steps to where a lot of our gear was just... laying on the ground in random heaps.Once we all had our stuff gathered, we felt a bit more secure, even if the mines still held an ominous air and were definitely still spooky. I hefted Weedbane onto my shoulder with a grunt of relief.As we continued down the mines, always heading up and towards the surface, I couldn't help but feel like something was watching me from behind. Whenever I looked back, though, there was nothing."We should, ah, hurry," Awen said."Yeah, daylight's burning and all that," Calamity said with a nod.Miss Laine sniffed, then sighed. "You may stay at my place for the night. No, not you Aberrforth. You're sleeping outside. But the rest of you deserve at least that much hospitality.""Thank you!" I said.Miss Laine nodded stiffly, her eyes scanning the rocky path ahead. "Let's make sure we all make it out of here first," she added, a hint of urgency creeping into her voice.We made it to the room where the explorers had camped and they were quick to gather up their own things.Then it was time to squeeze our way out of the mines. I insisted on going last, since I could make myself smaller and leave in a hurry if it came to it.I glanced back before leaving, expecting ... something.But there was only darkness behind me as I left.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Six — That's So Metal
Chapter Five Hundred and Six — That's So Metal I had a lot to tell my friends, and I really couldn't wait, but that didn't mean that I was silly.Well, I was maybe a little silly, sometimes, but I could be subtle too, when I wanted to. I trusted my friends with my life and more. Amaryllis and Awen were like my sisters, and Calamity like a cooler older brother. Orange was trustworthy too, of course, as much as a cat could be, and I was growing to love Desiree like another new friend too!It was the others that I wasn't sure about.The three grenoil members of the Exploration Guild didn't seem keen on giving us their names or even talking to us much. They were also all giving Aberrforth the stinkeye, probably for good reason.Aberrforth himself was... a nice-enough kind of man, but I wasn't sure if I could trust him yet, and Miss Laine was very clearly not interested in being trusted. She was willing to extend some hospitality to us because she was nice and polite, but I had the impression she would be happy to see the back of us.So I kept my actions to myself. Destroying a dungeon core was a big deal and discovering that there was a modified dungeon core around was probably also pretty dangerous news."H-hey, Sir Aberrforth?" I asked as we were walking.We still had a ways to go before reaching Miss Laine's place, but I suspected we'd get there before the sun set."Hmm, yes?" he asked as he finally stopped trying to tempt Miss Laine into a conversation."What's going to happen with the mine now?""Hmm, well, discovering that it was a mine to begin with is a rather fortunate piece of news," he said."Why's that?" Calamity asked.Sir Aberrforth glanced over us, then nodded as if to himself. "Right, you were sent to rescue us first and foremost. Let me explain, then! I have a fair amount of expertise when it comes to geology and discovering the mineral composition of soils. At the moment, Port Royal is shipping in raw materials from Deepmarsh, but these are of... questionable quality.""Every raw material?" Awen asked."Not wood, of course. There are logging camps on the edge of the Darkwoods, though Port Royal doesn't need much so we're tempering our rate of cutting so that we can have tree farms growing in the future."I supposed that people with the right growing skill could probably make a plant grow faster, and that might include trees. It would be nice to see the forest left intact. Or somewhat intact, in any case."Food is provided by the farms blanketing the foothills, though not nearly enough to feed all of Port Royal. The rest is imported. Some from the south, any fish and the like, and some from the west." He cleared his throat. "In any case, I'm not entirely well-versed in the economy of a city like Port Royal. My field of study is metals.""Metals?" I asked."Indeed. Deepmarsh had long collected iron from the bogs that are... pretty much omnipresent throughout the country. As far as iron goes, it's good enough, once handed over to a bloomery and smelted into something usable. Other metals, however, are harder to come by, and Deepmarsh has had to import them from elsewhere.""Uh, okay," I said. I was kind of out of my depth here, and wasn't expecting such a big tangent on the man's part from my simple question.He rubbed at his chin. "Where was I? Oh, yes, the mine." He fished a hand into his pocket, then removed a small rock which he gave me.It was brown and, uh ... rocky? ... I guess I don't know much about rocks. It did have some yellow streaks in it. I turned it over and gasped. "Is this gold?" I asked. On the bottom was a patch of shiny yellow.Aberrforth laughed. "If you think that's gold, I've got a bridge to sell you," he said. "No, that's chalcopyrite. It's pretty enough, I suppose. But if you smelt it, you can get some decent copper and a bit of iron.""Oh, that's cool," I said. "Is copper expensive here?""Not as much as aluminium, nowhere near gold," he said. "But it's not a resource that Deepmarsh has in abundance. Any copper you see in Port Royal is imported. A local source would be invaluable in that sense.""Neat," I said. "I guess that answers my question, if in a roundabout way.""Ah, yes... what was that question?I giggled. "I asked what's going to happen with the mine now," I repeated.He shrugged. "We'll let the guild know that there's copper here. It's a little ways from the city, so it'll take some investing to get anything set up, and we don't know at a glance how much copper is here, just that there is some. It'll be years before anything is done about it, I think. Miss Laine here might have neighbours soon!"Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.Laine scoffed. "If they want to throw themselves directly into the maw of that monster, then they're welcome to do that."I gasped.The woman turned and gave me a sharp look. "Don't you start."I bit my tongue. As much as I wanted to defend the old riftwalker, she probably wasn't going to be convinced he'd turned over a new leaf.Instead, I said, "We already had to go save these guys." I gestured toward Aberrforth's companions.They gave me an affronted look. I winced, but rallied myself and pressed on, "If it's really dangerous, shouldn't you try to stop them from coming? Otherwise, you'll have to save a lot more of them."Laine rolled her eyes. "This time, I've warned them. If they ignore me, that'll be on their heads, not mine. They're not getting anything more out of me."Aberrforth chuckled, a bit uncertain. "Aheh, I ... I do reckon we have better chances than you suppose. Just think! Neighbours!"She glared at him. "What makes you think I want any neighbours? Do you think I live out here for the thriving social life?"Well... ah, you'd have a good claim on the terrain around your home, at least. Maybe even the mine itself, you might be able to stake it for yourself?"Now it was the grenoil who were glaring at him.I felt like I was missing something, but I didn't press. If it took a long time for people to come, then that was... well, maybe it was a bit selfish, but that was great for me. It was more time before anyone discovered the broken core, and the more time passed, the less likely anyone would be to blame me specifically for the core's breaking. Not that I had done anything bad, or ... or at least, I didn't think I'd done anything bad ... right? But... I still had a lingering memory of being executed for breaking one core in a past that never was, so I wasn't keen on reliving that.Calamity asked Aberrforth another question about rocks and... I liked to think that I was a good listener-I had the ears for it, after all-but even I could only listen to someone talking about rocks for so long before I started to tune it out a little.Fortunately, we weren't very far from Miss Laine's place by then, and after dipping into the forest we found a deer trail that led us right into her backyard."Ladies," Laine said. "Care to help me within? I'm used to cooking for myself, not for this many, and I suspect I could use the help. I'm assuming you all have cooking-related skills?""Uh, I don't," I said.Awen shook her head, Amaryllis scoffed, and Desiree blinked. "You must forgive me, but no, why would I invest in a skill such as that?"Orange meowed and gave a slow, affirmative blink, but I don't think Miss Laine spoke cat and so she didn't understand.I also doubted that any cooking-related skill Orange had would actually help...Miss Laine stared at us all, then shook her own head. "Youngsters these days," she muttered. "Well, regardless. Come and give me a hand. Aberrforth... you and your friends can set up tents and the like in the backyard. Don't ruin my garden.""Yes, Lady Laine," he replied with a short bow.Miss Laine's kitchen was quite compact, but it smelled like freshly plucked herbs and was very tidy. There was garlic hanging from the rafters and a few small potted plants pressed up against the windows where they were catching the light.Stew was the meal of the evening, mostly because it was easy to make in large enough quantities for everyone, and because Miss Laine had some tubers ready to harvest in her garden.We got to chopping veggies and boiling water while I chatted with the witch about her garden. I was gaining valuable Gardening experience just talking to her about all of the tricks she'd discovered over the years spent cultivating enough food to keep herself fed year-round without anyone else's support.She had a few neat brews too, something almost like a potion but a little less formal. Amaryllis scoffed at it, saying it wasn't nearly as scientific as alchemy, but Miss Laine retorted by saying it tasted better, and I believed her.Soon enough, food was ready, and we let the stew simmer while we set up a couple of small tables just behind her house.It was nice, but I was looking forward to having a few minutes to chat with my friends. That, and I was really curious to see how Booksie was doing.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Seven — Crimes Against Our Sanity
Chapter Five Hundred and Seven — Crimes Against Our Sanity I woke up to a small surprise.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Snoozing skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!Neat! I'd kinda sorta forgotten about that skill, but... well, it was going to level up all on its own. Was it why I woke up feeling so refreshed? Or was that because I ate well, exercised a lot, and got to sleep snuggled up between two friends on Miss Laine's floor?In any case, I was happy to be heading out, but my happiness was nowhere near Miss Laine's. She was practically buzzing around her little kitchen as she prepared what she called her 'get out of my house' porridge.It tasted pretty good for something meant to get us out the door, but I supposed that it also worked because only an hour or two after the sun rose, we were ready to go. Sir Aberrforth packed his tent dejectedly, but he had a few pals to help him, so it wasn't all that bad.I wanted to stick around and help, but Amaryllis was insistent that we head out sooner rather than later. Technically, our mission was done here, and the sooner we arrived back in Port Royal, the sooner we'd get paid.She doubted that Sir Aberrforth would get lost between here and the city, and I kinda doubted the same. His team of grenoil explorers didn't seem overly happy with him at the moment. Poor Aberrforth.In any case, we left a bit of money with Miss Laine to thank her for the meal and the overnight stay, as well as some rations that we could spare. She was thankful for the small set of emergency potions that Amaryllis gave to her. I supposed that even a self-proclaimed witch had room for that kind of thing.And then we were off."So..." I said once we were a good twenty minutes away from Miss Laine's place and basically retracing our steps from the way over. "I should probably tell you what happened in the mine.""You have been quiet about that," Amaryllis said."Ah, did something bad happen before you met us?" Awen asked.I chewed on my lower lip, then nodded. "Bad and not so bad? I met Miss Laine's monster. He was just an old, old Riftwalker that had, uh, maybe lost a few marbles? Once he arrived on Dirt, he went ... mean. Eventually, that caught up with him and he got locked up tight in the mine. Actually, his actions from way back then reminded me a bit of Rainnewt, in some ways, though I think he's much better now.""Much... Broccoli, this is the opposite of reassuring," Amaryllis said. She almost looked ready to turn around."Rainnewt is that dastardly villain that you have been fighting for some time now, is he not?" Desiree asked."Uh, okay, starting from the start," I said. "Yes, Rainnewt is the baddy we've been fighting for a while. And the man down in the mines wasn't quite like that. He got, uh, kinda enraptured by a weird twisty dungeon core that let him see alternate pasts and which encouraged him to become obsessed with becoming stronger? And that led him to do a lot of really bad things until he was trapped in the mines by... I guess Miss Laine's ancestors. But it has been a very long time, so he's better now?"Amaryllis groaned into her talons. "Broccoli," she said.Awen shook her head next to her too. "Broc," she repeated, sounding a little disappointed."What? I destroyed the weird core in the end. Uh, but not before the riftwalker tried to use it to tempt me. Or maybe it was to teach me a lesson? It didn't really work.""Broccoli," Amaryllis said, again. She really liked the sound of my name today. "You... urgh, I don't even know where to begin. Awen, you chastise her for me.""Awa, okay? Um, Broccoli that was very... um... silly?""Aww," I said. "I got two more General points for it. I'm sorry I couldn't share them with everyone this time.""This time?" Desiree asked. "Do you frequently commit what is widely regarded as the most heinous crime imaginable?" she was smiling as she asked it, but I still felt a slight shiver run down my spine."Uh," I said. "No? Not frequently? Only when there's a quest or something... well, this time was different! The core was on a weird magic plinth thing, not like a normal dungeon core plinth, and it was being magiced by stuff. It was definitely not in a normal dungeon core room, and stuff had been done to it. I think to power the past-seeing spell that happened whenever it was touched."If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.Amaryllis groaned louder. "Broccoli... that sounds like impossibly illegal magic. Do you know how much people would be willing to give to study that?""... But you just said it's super illegal?" I asked."And you think that would decrease the value?" she asked.Amaryllis started to question me about the core, the magic around it, the feel of it to my magical senses, and everything else. I tried my best to answer all of her questions. Calamity joined in eventually, but he was more curious about what other past Broccolis were like. He was a little disappointed to learn that this real version of me was the only one to ever meet him, but that was okay.We chitted and we chatted for a long while, at least until noon rolled around and we found ourselves on the outskirts of that little grenoil town we'd been to on our first day out. From there, it was easy to hitch a ride on a wagon that happened to be heading out to Port Royal.We cut off the discussions about anything possibly-illegal we'd done as we rode out towards the city on the side of the mountain.I wasn't sure if riding in the back of a cart was faster than walking or not, but the farmer bringing the cart to the city but the farmer was the sort of lifelong local who knew the land like the back of his hand, so he did take a much shorter route consisting mostly of shortcuts.Port Royal eventually appeared out above us, first by the increased number of ships in the air, then we spotted a flash as Cholondee circled the top of the mountain, and finally the city came into view as we came up a rise at the foothills of the mountain.It was weird, I'd been on Dirt for a good while already, and yet I was still used to the speed of cars. So what looked like it should only be a half-hour's drive away took a couple of hours instead by cart and on foot.We did make it to the city by midafternoon though, just in time to be really hungry, but not so hungry that we wanted to dip into our rations instead of making it to a restaurant.We rode one of the lifts up the side of the mountain. There was a small discount for Exploration Guild members, and the person selling tickets didn't check to see if we were all members, which was like a bonus discount that I only felt a little bit guilty about.The moment we arrived in Port Royal proper, we had a choice to make. Back to the Beaver Cleaver, or the Exploration Guild, or, as a third option, we could head out to say hi to Booksie. "I think I'd like to visit Booksie first, and maybe get something to eat," I said.Amaryllis huffed. "And skip out on reporting our successful mission?""Yes?" I tried. "Unless we split up again? A few of us check on Booksie and some of us go to the Guild to make sure to hand in the mission? Then we meet up again for lunch at the Beaver?"Amaryllis considered it, then nodded. "Fine. Who wants to come with me to report?"There was a long, long beat of awkward silence."Ah... okay, I guess I'll come," Awen said.Amaryllis had her talons on her hips by then. "I see how it is. Just a bit of concern over our professionalism and suddenly no one cares.""It is kind of boring," Calamity said.I shook my head. I did feel a little bad for Amaryllis. "Let's all go to the guild, then," I said. "It shouldn't take long, right?""It shouldn't," Amaryllis said. "We report our success, that Aberrforth is returning, then fill out a few forms. I can take them with us and fill them out tonight, to save us all some time now.""That sounds great," I said with a happy nod.One of the city's guards ran over to us, and for a moment I felt a little nervous. There couldn't be good reasons for an on-duty guardsman to single someone out, could there? "Excuse me, are you Broccoli Bunch?""Uh, yes?" I said. I wanted to slip behind my friends so that I wouldn't have to lie, but it was a little too late for that.He smiled and gestured back into the city. "Miss, ah, Booksie was looking for you.""And she has the guard looking on her behalf?" Amaryllis asked.He shrugged. "She's kind of running the guard by the nose. Well, her sylph friend is, in any case. The city really wants to please her right now, and we mostly don't mind. The big wedding sounds like the biggest party Port Royal will throw this century!"I glanced at my friends. That would require a little change of plans, then. Also, I was starting to suspect that things might have blown themselves out of proportion while we were away.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Eight — Bridal Wail
Chapter Five Hundred and Eight — Bridal Wail "Broccoli!" Booksie said as soon as we entered her shop.She lunged across the store, and a moment later I'd had the wind knocked out of me by two armfuls of crying bun. I would've fallen backwards into the street if Amaryllis hadn't put a hand on my back to hold me upright.I pulled air back into my lungs. "Booksie?" I asked.After that guard told us that Booksie needed help, we'd decided against splitting up or even stopping to grab a bite. Instead the lot of us had made good time across Port Royal to get to Booksie's shop.I don't know why, but I half expected to discover a crater or something on arriving, but other than... a bit of a huge mess inside, the shop looked like it was normal."Hey, there there," I said as I started to rub circles into Booksie's back. I didn't know why she was crying, but the least I could do was comfort her.Was it the wedding? Wait, no, that was a silly thought, of course it was the wedding. Was the stress getting to her? Was she getting cold feet now that it was so close? I'd heard of that kind of thing happening, and it sounded super scary.Booksie sniffed, then pulled back and tugged an ear down to dab at her eyes. "S-sorry," she said. "Oh, it's good to see you. All of you. Please, come in, I'm blocking the entrance, aren't I?""It's okay," I said, and my friends murmured similar sentiments behind me. "Come on, let's get you sitting, and then you can tell me everything that went wrong, okay?""Okay," she said before pulling a small tissue from her pocket to blow her nose."Where's Caprica?" Amaryllis asked as she looked around. The store did seem rather empty at the moment."She's been helping a lot," Booksie said. "But I think she's at the embassy now? Or talking to the guards? I don't think I've seen her sit down since your group left. She's running around more than I have been.""That... does sound like her, yeah.""She keeps saying that this wedding is a practice run for something called the bastion? Some sort of castle, maybe?""Uh," I said. I suddenly felt a bit of cold sweat pooling on my back. "Yeah, something like that."I ushered Booksie into a seat, then sat down next to her so that I could continue keeping her close. Stress was bad, but hugs were good. Back rubs helped too, of course."Can you tell us what's going on? Since we left, I mean? Maybe venting it all out will help? And we're back in the city now, we can put off getting any more guild jobs until the wedding is nice and over with. That way we'll be here to help.""Thank you," Booksie said. She balled her hands into fists on her lap and then took a deep breath. "I think I had a small panic attack earlier. I broke out into cold sweats and I felt dizzy. It was like someone was squeezing my chest.""Oh no," I said. I gave up on the backrubs and instead leaned to the side. Awen, being a good friend, sat on Booksie's other side and placed a hand over Booksie's. "Are you better now?""I'm fine," Booksie said. "It's just... so much.""I get that," I said. "Weddings are complicated.""Is the groom helping at all?" Desiree asked.Booksie groaned. "He tried. I've decided that he's not allowed to help anymore. I had to find a new caterer because he threatened to burn down the last one.""Ah," I said. "Well, at least he's... trying to be helpful?"Booksie nodded along. "He tried, and it's sweet of him. It's only... well, there are certain difficulties when you're an adult dragon that people don't consider."Desiree tilted her head to one side. "I would have thought being a dragon would be a significant advantage, but I suppose it does have some downsides.""Mhm," I agreed. "Okay. Let's help, then. Tell me everything that went wrong. Amaryllis?""Yes?" Amaryllis asked."Can you take notes, please? I don't want to forget anything."Amaryllis shrugged, then removed her pack and fished out a notepad from within, then summoned a pen with her banking ring to take note with. "I'm ready," she said.Booksie took in a deep, deep breath, and I immediately started to worry. No one who only had a few simple problems needed that much of a lungful to express them all. "So, the venue is a mess. I wanted it to be something nice and simple, maybe at one of the local venues that are just big enough for friends and family, but then Rhawr won't fit, and you can forget his family fitting, so I decided to rent a field next to the city, but that's too small and not official enough, so we don't have a venue."Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit."Oh boy," I said."We want, or rather need, vendors set up around the venue, wherever that ends up being, but the local vendors are worried and no one can quote us a reasonable price. And I don't want any foods that smell too strongly, but they're being picky about it.""Noted," Amaryllis said."My dress needs fitting. I just haven't had the time for that. Rhawr's suit too. The bridesmaids outfits... oh god, I need bridesmaids. Broccoli?""Me?" I asked. She nodded. "Okay!""Thank you! Okay! Okay... I'll ask Caprica as well. I think I need to ask Cholondee, which means a dress at her scale. And I need a few more..." She eyed my friends."I'll be organising," Amaryllis said. "I can't be slapping idiots around in a pretty dress.""Awa, I don't mind?""Perfect!" Booksie said. "Alright, next, the guest list keeps changing. I thought it would be small, but now I have dignitaries. Dignitaries. I think that's Caprica's fault, being a princess from one nation means others need to step up as well, at least the local nations. But no one is sending their RSVPs back! It's been two days! Why hasn't anyone replied?""That's rude of them," I said."Noted," Amaryllis added."The weather's going to be a mess. The local Meteomage said that it'll rain. Now the mage's guild wants to charge a fortune to fix the weather. Rhawr said he'll blow the rain away, but that always gets the local farmer's guild in a huff.""Noted as well," Amaryllis said.Booksie nodded. "There's sound equipment we need. The Exploration guild volunteered theirs, but it's decades old.""Ah, I can look at it," Awen said."No, you can't. This is a huge undertaking. We need experts, and a lot of them," Booksie said. "This isn't something simple like an airship, this is a wedding!""We'll figure it out," I said. More back rubs were needed.She swallowed. "We need to make sure there's room for landings near the wedding site, Rhawr's mom will be there. She takes up... space. Which means warning the city's transportation department.""Got it," Amaryllis said."Catering is a mess. There's some family drama that I don't want to get into on Rhawr's side of things. This is the one time I'm happy that my own family is so far away. The big ring, Rhawr's, was stolen. Cholondee is on that one. Oh, and there's legal issues!""Legal issues?" Desiree repeated.Booksie slumped. "Deepmarsh accepts interspecies marriages, but they have a list, and Bun and Dragon aren't on it. So technically we can't legally be married here because that old law wasn't written to be inclusive of non-traditional things or some such. Also technically, Rhawr said he'd burn down the capital if they kept sticking their noses into things.""That does sound complicated," I said. "Maybe we need a solicitor as a first step, before resorting to dragon fire.""You'd think that, but there's nothing that moves a bureaucracy faster than an annoyed dragon," Booksie said.Amaryllis lowered her notepad. She had gone to a second page after filling the first. "Is that everything?""I think that's enough, don't you?" Booksie asked."Oh, it's plenty," Amaryllis said. "We'll never get all of this done if only one person tackles it all. We're going to need to split this into tasks.""Two-by-two?" I asked. "It'll be easier if we're not all alone.""I suppose so," Amaryllis said. "Booksie, Broccoli, Awen, you'll go to the dressmakers. You need to be there personally for that one. Broccoli, after that, your task is the vendors. I'll take care of the venue. Awen, Desiree, can you two take care of the weather and the sound issues? Calamity... come with me, and then we'll see about the missing ring.""What about all the other problems?" I asked."Those can wait until we've fixed this first batch," Amaryllis said. She clapped her wings. "Okay, you know where to go. Get going, we only have days to get ready. Chop chop."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Nine — Addressing Problems
Chapter Five Hundred and Nine — Addressing Problems I walked with an arm wrapped around Booksie's back because I was worried she might need a bit more comfort after her blow-up earlier. She seemed better, but her ears were drooping, as though they bore some kind of invisible weight. She was normally much better than me at keeping them properly straight up, so I was certain she needed a lot more affection than she let on.I squeezed her tighter.Awen, being a good friend too, was on Booksie's other side. She wasn't quite hugging our bun friend, but she was hovering real close while keeping an eye out on the street. It would have been much easier if Port Royal wasn't so busy.Booksie's shop was on a side street that mostly played host to people on foot. Although the sidewalks were bust, it wasn't a problem until we got to the end of the road and encountered heavy carriage traffic. I guess it was kind of rush hour? It was pretty late in the afternoon."So, uh, I remember things being all taken care of already?" I asked."Urgh," Booksie said. "They should have been, but when I looked into it, the city's idea of a venue was the inside of the city hall. Do you know how many dragons can fit into city hall?""Not really?""It's between none and three. It really only depends on how willing the dragons are to remove the roof and the walls that are in their way.""Oh, that seems like a pretty major miscalculation," I said. "What about all the rest?""The city has a few people they trust for catering. Honestly, they're not bad. A little expensive, but at this point I don't care about that as long as things are done well," Booksie said. She laughed mirthlessly. "A couple of months ago I would have been exceptionally worried about budgets. Ah, that was a simpler time.""It, ah, sounds like you might have to invest in a butler," Awen said.I leaned forwards a smidge, to look past Booksie and towards Awen. "A butler?" I asked before I had to shift back. It was hard to walk abreast of each other when sharing the sidewalk, but I really didn't want to end up in one of those awkward situations where two of us were together and the third was stuck trailing behind."Or a personal assistant," Awen said with a shrug. "Maybe a lady's maid? They're all classes with skills meant to help them organise things."I hadn't thought about it, but yeah, it made sense that that kind of skill would exist, and it sounded like having them right now would save poor Booksie quite the headache.There had to be some people like that in Port Royal. I scanned the crowds, as if expecting a willing butler to jump out at me, but nothing of the sort happened. There were a few hawkers on the roadside and some people manning stalls, but that didn't count."Did you want to talk about it more, or, uh, did you want to chat about other things?" I asked.Booksie sighed. "Let's change the subject, please," she said. "Um... Oh, when we get back, remind me to let you try some of my cookies.""Your cooking class!" I said. "I almost forgot about that. You've had a chance to use it?""For its intended purpose, you mean?" Booksie asked. "Yes, a little. Meal-prep for a dragon is a whole... thing, and I think the class has been helping me not tug my ears out when reading some of the contracts I've had to deal with."I nodded along. I could imagine that being really tough to work through."Enough about me though, how are you doing?" Booksie asked. "How was your last mission?""It was alright," I said. "We had to walk lots, but at this point... I don't think my legs have ever been this used to walking! We didn't fight anything too weird either, so I'll chalk that up to a win. I did have a run-in with a... kinda monster guy who was maybe a bit nicer than he once was? He's still maybe a little dangerous, but that's not so bad.""It was a nice, quick adventure," Awen agreed. "Not too good for levelling most skills, though.""Oh no," I said. "Now that we're back, I have to get started on my Mana Regeneration and Thick Skin training again."Booksie patted my arm. "That doesn't sound too bad.""Amaryllis makes me use a bunch of mana-intensive skills while zapping me. It sucks."Booksie shook her head. "I don't think I could handle being an adventurer like you guys. It sounds so romantic from afar, but on closer inspection it looks rather torturous. The books skip out on all of the gritty details.""Yeah," I said. "I remember loving books about adventure and exploring things and seeing fantasy worlds, but none of them mentioned the horrors of having to set up camp every night or how exhausting training every day can be.""Broccoli, we don't train that much," Awen said."Aww," I said.Booksie found it funny though, so that's all that mattered.It didn't take us too long to arrive at the dressmaker's shop. Seasoned Seamstress was a pretty little store right on Port Royal's main thoroughfare. It had large windows at the front displaying a number of very pretty dresses and gowns. Most were covering grenoil-shaped mannequins, but there were a few more generically humanoid ones mixed in as well.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings."Pretty!" I said as I stared up at a lace-covered wedding dress."I think so too," Booksie said. "Come! My dress has already been decided upon. I'm hoping the seamstress can toss something together that'll fit everyone.""If she can make a dress for a pretty bun like you, I'm sure she can manage something for Awen and I," I said. "Ah, and Caprica as well... Cholondee, uh..." I worked my jaw and tried to imagine the dragon in a multi-tiered dress with lots of lace and frills. "Maybe we should look for something simple for the bridesmaids? So that we don't stand out too much?"I wouldn't want to crash the city's lace economy.A bell tinkled as we pushed the door open, and I smiled. I don't know why, but shop doors with little tinkly bells made me happy inside."Welcome, welcome!" someone said from behind a counter at the far end of the room. They came around it, revealing that they were a tall-ish grenoil lady wearing an apron covered in little pouches filled with needles and thread and a few measuring tapes. "Ah! The woman of the hour! Hello, hello, come in!"Booksie smiled and greeted the woman. Her name was Sophia Belleaiguille, a veteran seamstress who swept us over to some displays off to the side where she could show off her best work while Booksie explained what was needed."Four bridesmaid dresses in half as many days? I can do that. A human, a bun, and a syplh... hmm, I'll need to measure the sylph in person, their proportions are somewhat unusual, but I should be able to manage without too much difficulty," she said. "The wings will be interesting to work around.""And Cholondee?" Booksie asked."Now, a dragon... I must admit I've never made a dress for a dragon before," Sophia admitted."Is it too much?" I asked.She scoffed. "Don't you dare underestimate me. Besides, this could be exactly the kind of thing I need to push my craft to the next level. I've made a thousand dresses for the common grenoil, and a few hundred for other races. A new body type just means a new challenge, and a new challenge means new rewards!"I liked this woman's energy. "I'm sure you'll make the prettiest dragon dress ever," I said.She tut-tutted me though. "Can't have her showing up the bride, can we?""We really can," Booksie said.Sophia laughed. "Don't be nervous now. Now, for the maids here, I'm thinking something comfortable and elegant? Maybe... a little daring?""Daring?" Booksie squeaked."Why, I once had a commission for a wedding dress meant to double as a riding dress as well. If you intend to end the wedding with a romantic flight...""Ah," Booksie said even as her cheeks warmed. "That, uh, that does sound, uh. Maybe a bit much?"Sophia gave her a firm nod, as though accepting a sacred mission. "I'll send word when I need the sylph to come by for her fitting, but as for the rest of you..." She gestured towards some nearby stools. "Let's get you all measured."Awen stepped up first, looking a little nervous but cooperative. While Sophia took her measurements, I noticed Booksie finally starting to relax. Her shoulders slumped as the weight of her worries was slowly being lifted."You know," I said softly. "You've got this. We're going to help, and it's going to be an amazing wedding. No matter what happens."Then it was my turn to stand before Sophia while her measuring tapes flew around me, carried by faint whisps of mana. She had me T-pose, then stand with my arms flat by my sides. I had to crouch, bow, and then spin a bit, all while the tapes wrapped themselves around me and Sophia took detailed notes in a little book."Mhm, I can have these two fitted and ready within the hour," the seamstress said. "Now, follow me! Your dress just needs that final fitting. Not that I'd miss my mark, of course!"Booksie blinked, a little startled. "That's... amazing. I didn't think we'd be done so fast."Sophia winked at her. "I pride myself on speed and precision. Now, let's see about that final fitting for you." She motioned for Booksie to follow her toward a backroom where a wedding dress was displayed on a mannequin. It even had wooden ears sticking out the top.I couldn't help but gasp when I saw it. The dress was perfect. The light, pure white fabric was like the bridesmaids' dresses. There was a soft shimmer to it, with intricate lacework along the bodice and trailing down the sleeves. The skirt flowed gently, like a waterfall, pooling just slightly at the bottom in delicate folds.Booksie hesitated at the door, staring at it with wide eyes. "It's... it's beautiful."Sophia grinned. "I knew you'd like it. Now, hup hup, get in the dress. I need to make sure the fit is flawless!"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Ten — Chief of Vendors
Chapter Five Hundred and Ten — Chief of Vendors We left Seasoned Seamstress buzzing with happy energy. Booksie had been unbelievably pretty in her dress, and now I couldn't wait to see everyone's reaction when she stepped out and walked towards Rhawrexdee.The poor dragon wouldn't know what hit him!"Okay, okay," I said even though my face hurt from smiling so much. "What's out next thing?""Ah, I'm supposed to look into things with Desiree," Awen said. "The equipment for the event as well as the weather.""Ah, right." I rubbed my chin as I thought about it. "We need to know where the venue is before that, no? I mean, the weather bit's not so bad, but the sound system needs somewhere to be delivered."Awen nodded. "It would be hard to get it otherwise. Though I suppose we could just secure it in the meantime?""I guess. I think Desiree went with Amaryllis and Calamity? So let's head out and meet them. Then I need to check in on the vendors."Awen shook her head. "Let's split up," she said. "I can find them on my own, and if I don't I'll just return to the Beaver and wait. There's always something to maintain anyway. And you have your own thing to do, going with me would just stall you."I really didn't want to split up even more... but Awen was making a heap of sense. "Okay, fine," I said.Awen nodded, then smiled. "I'll be fine," she promised. "Ah, but I should go... bye?" She raised her arms for bye-bye hugs without me even having to ask, almost as if she knew I'd insist on it before I even had to say anything.I gave her a proper squeeze, of course!"Be safe, okay! If anyone bothers you, tell them that they're not friend material, then run away."Awen giggled. "I'll do just that," she said before giving Booksie her own bye-bye hug.We watched her head out, then I turned towards Booksie. The bookish bun was smiling faintly. It was hard to tell how stressed someone was from the outside. The signs could be subtle. But she definitely looked less worried now than she had been earlier when we met her."So, off to the vendors, then?" I asked. "I'm not exactly sure how to start with this one. Do the vendors of Port Royal all just... know each other?""They actually have a guild of sorts," Booksie said. "Or maybe it's more of a union? I'm not entirely sure how their whole system works, but there's definitely some level of organisation going on in the background."That was perfect! "Okay! So all we need to do is find them, right?""I suppose. I don't know where to even start looking," she said."Hmm, what do we need the vendors for anyway?" I asked. "Are they going to be serving at the reception?"Booksie shook her head. "I got a lot of hints that this is going to be a bigger event than anyone would reasonably be able to cater. There's going to be... lots of locals just showing up to gawk at the proceedings. So ideally we want to make sure that there's food and drink enough for everyone.""Ah, that's kind of you," I said. Booksie seemed the sort to want a nice, quiet ceremony, but now that she really didn't have a choice about it, she was still willing to make sure that everyone who did show up was comfortable.Since we didn't know where to find the vendor's guild building, I did the next logical steps and moved back to one of the main streets of Port Royal. There were street-side vendors at all of the busiest intersections, selling local food heated over magical flames . Some even had music boxes with catchy jingles or flashy magical lights going off above to attract attention."Hi!" I asked one of them, a large grenoil man with a cartful of battered balls of dough next to a vat of hot oil. "Um, do you know where the vendor's guild is? Or maybe it's the vendor's union?""I might," he said with a knowing smile. "But my memory might also be a little short. How about you buy a snack for you and your friend here while I think about it?""Oh no," Booksie said. "I just had my wedding dress fitted. Until this wedding's over I am not going to eat my stress away."Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.I giggled. It was probably a little unhealthy not to eat enough, so I'd keep an eye on her, but I could understand the general sentiment. "What about half of one?" I bargained with her.She gave in when the smell of frying dough hit us.A minute or two later, I was munching on my half of a dough ball-it had cinnamon and some powdered sugar on it!-while walking across the city.The Vendor's Union was two streets over from Guild Row (where the Mage's and Exploration Guild were located), in a more industrial area. It definitely wasn't touristy, but the union building had a large lot out front and a few small warehouses next to it with wide open doors revealing carts and mobile stalls being spruced up and repaired.The reception... wasn't a reception at all, but instead opened right up into a small, tightly packed office. I was surprised when I was greeted by a friendly older man who turned out to be the union president. His office was just another one of the desks by the entrance, and he seemed happy to serve us some warm tea.I explained what was going on with Booksie's wedding, including the uncertain venue, and he nodded along as I spoke. "As long as you're not expecting to share in our profits for the day, then I can put up a bulletin for the members of the union letting them know. Are there any restrictions you'd like to put in place?""Ah," Booksie said. "Would it be possible to temporarily close them down during a window of time?""Like during the actual wedding part of the wedding?" I asked.She nodded. "I don't really mind that much, but I think my fiance's family might feel like that's disrespectful.""Those being... the dragons," the president said."Yes," Booksie confirmed."I'm sure we can work something out," he replied with a smile. "Wouldn't wanna be disrespectful."It didn't take much more than that to hash out an agreement. We promised to send him a note for where the final venue would be so that the union members could set up in time, and then we sealed the deal with a friendly handshake. It wasn't as binding as a deal sealed with a hug and a promise, but it was good enough for business."That was easy!" I cheered as we stepped out of the vendor's union building."It was," Booksie said. "I think a lot of my problems are relatively easy to fix, but they're also... just a lot?""I feel you," I said. "Back home, we used to get lots of paperwork to do, and my dad would always put it off until the very last minute. It wasn't super hard to do, but there's always something else to worry about that feels a lot more pressing.""Exactly," Booksie said. "Thank you, by the way.""Hmm? For what? I'm just doing what a friend should."Booksie giggled. "Yes, and that's worthy of praise, isn't it?""Well yeah, being a good friend is always praiseworthy, but I think it's also the kind of thing that rewards itself. Anyway! What's next on the list?""Ah, nothing on yours... I think there were some things that Amaryllis didn't split off to everyone yet?" she said.I nodded along. "If we do those without telling Amaryllis, she'll be annoyed," I said. "So we might as well find out where she is...." I looked around us. We weren't on a busy street or anything, but there was still a bit of traffic and I didn't feel like getting hit by a carriage on the way across the street. Being sent to another world once was enough for me!"How did you and Amaryllis meet?" Booksie asked. "I recall the story for Awen, but I don't know if I ever heard that part.""Oh!" I said. "That's funny! We met here in Port Royal. She was assigned as my exploration buddy during our test at the Exploration Guild. She really didn't like me at first.""Really?" she asked with a gasp. "Oh my! But now you're best friends?""Uh-huh! I wore her down with grit, determination, and love!"We chatted all the way until we happened to spot a familiar group of friends walking down one of the main roads cutting across the city. Then it was time to regroup and see what needed to be tackled next!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Eleven — Proactively Circling Back to See if We Moved the Needle
Chapter Five Hundred and Eleven — Proactively Circling Back to See if We Moved the Needle "Hi!" I said as I bounced over to my friends. Then I crashed into Caprica and gave her a big squeeze. "Caprica!""Hello, Broccoli," Caprica said with a laugh. Her wings beat a little to keep her standing, but she returned the hug. "Nice to see you too.""Yup!" I agreed. "You weren't too bored without us around?""It was significantly quieter and more peaceful, but I must say... I believe I might be getting used to a certain level of madness," Caprica said."Alright, enough hugging," Amaryllis said. "Broccoli, Booksie, it's good to see both of you, but it's well into the evening and I haven't had anything to eat in hours, and that's after a day spent walking around. I'm famished."I laughed, but broke out of the hug with Caprica all the same. "Dinner, then?" I asked. My tummy was pretty rumbly too. A glance at the sky showed that the sun was well on its way to setting. There were so many street lights in Port Royal that it didn't really feel like night yet, though."Dinner would be nice, yes," Amaryllis said."I'm starving, and this bird here." Calamity pointed to Amaryllis with a thumb. "Wouldn't let me stop and grab any of the food these street vendors are selling." He pouted and crossed his arms, entirely ignoring the unimpressed look Amaryllis shot his way."I know a few good places," Booksie said. "Port Royal has a few upper-end establishments, but I'm a lot more fond of the homier places. But that really depends on what you feel like eating.""Anything goes for me," I said. "Well, maybe not anything with too much meat.""I can't not have meat," Calamity said."Do you know any places that serve something sweet? All the grenoil food I've seen has leaned towards the bitter side of things," Caprica said."I'd love to try new foods," Desiree said. "Even the bitter ones."Awen just shrugged, and Amaryllis pinched her nose. Booksie blinked a few times, then giggled. "I can think of a place, no worries. It's not too expensive either. Though we are... ah." She counted all of us real quick. "Seven. They might have to move a couple of tables together, but it should be fine.""Yeah! Let's go!" I cheered.Booksie took the lead, and I couldn't help but notice that her shoulders weren't as slumped and her ears were back to being straight and perky. Whatever stress was plaguing her, she'd forgotten about it, at least for the moment. Stress shared was stress halved... or something like that. She brought us off the main road, then up a little to an old, old building nestled into the side of the mountain. Its walls were all bare rock and I wasn't even sure if it was a restaurant or if it was just someone's home-at least, until Booksie knocked on the door and we were introduced to a matronly old grenoil who bustled us over to a few tables in what had to be her back patio. There was a small garden, and enough seats for maybe a dozen people. A window opened into a surprisingly large kitchen where the old grenoil lady and her old grenoil husband were fussing over a few ovens and a large cast iron stove. There wasn't really a menu. Today's dinner was a veggie stew that the grenoils had started last night, with some fresh bread from a local baker and a big roast of some sort of meat. I was pretty sure it was bug meat, which made me doubly happy that I wasn't much of a carnivore anymore. Before the main course, though, there was a big bowl of mashed potatoes and carrots and yams that was brought out, all seasoned with crushed rock salt and black pepper. Next to that was something that smelled a lot like coleslaw, but it looked a lot creamier. I wasn't sure what it was, but it did taste yummy."Alright, before the main course arrives, shall we go around and see what we got done?" Amaryllis asked. I nodded. "Sounds good to me! Does that mean we can expense this as a working meal?""What even are you talking about, Broccoli?" Amaryllis asked."Ah, nevermind. So! Who wants to go first?"Amaryllis sat up a little straighter. "I'll begin," she said. "As you know, Calamity and I were supposed to secure a venue for the big day."The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation."Oh, yes," Booksie said. "Has anything been secured?""Yes," Amaryllis said. "But it's pending your opinion.""Oh?" Booksie asked, perking up."The first option, and the one I wouldn't suggest, is the embassy. It's a nice location, very classy, pretty private, and the security is good all things considered," Amaryllis said."But the place feels very official," Calamity said."It would also put a lot of pressure on you from the city and the Deepmarsh government to do things their way. And, perhaps more damning, a dragon wouldn't fit in the embassy," Amaryllis said."I see," Booksie siad. "I'd considered it too, but yes, there are issues with it. It is a nice place. I believe a few nobles have had their marriages there, when they don't have a suitable house for it. What's the other option?""The other option is far less secure, but it's open, there's plenty of room, and it's genuinely beautiful," Amaryllis said."And it is..." Booksie asked leadingly."The city square," Amaryllis said. "The entire thing. Traffic would be re-routed around it, and the area will be cordoned off. It's open-air, and if we secure a few meteo-wizards the day will be quite gorgeous. Lots of room for spectators, vendors, and onlookers.""Which is a security nightmare," Calamity said.Amaryllis nodded, acknowledging the point. "True. But the entire Exploration Guild would be securing the venue, and... well, there will be room enough for Rhawrexdee, his sister, and his mother.""You'd have to be a bit silly to interrupt a wedding with Rhawr's mom there," I said."Awa, people can be... silly... anyway," Awen said. That was... a fair point. People did act silly sometimes, even if a dragon or three were around. "Rhawr did mention there might be some more distant family of his showing up," Booksie said. "And the city square is quite pretty. There are some nice buildings around there and the statues and fountains are nice.""The square sounds perfect," Amaryllis said. "Awen, I'll be stealing you for the next couple of days. We'll have to put together a pavilion and a few other necessities.""I... am not an architect?" Awen tried."No, but you'll know enough to tell if the ones I hire are being honest," Amaryllis said. "Now, our other task was finding the ring. We didn't quite have time to touch base with Cholondee, but we did spread word that we were on the lookout for it.""That might help," Booksie said.Amaryllis nodded. "So, how did things go with the Company B?""Are we company B?" I asked."Yes, it's B for Broccoli and Booksie... Sorry Awen, it doesn't quite work with your name. Definitely nothing to do with you being lower ranked," Amaryllis said with a straight face."Ah, well, things went okay," I said. "We got the dresses fitted, except for Caprica's. She'll have to run over and see about hers soon. Then Booksie and I checked on the vendors. We'll need to tell them where the big venue is, but the Vendor's Union seemed amenable to help!""That's good news. Two more things to cross off the list," Amaryllis said. "Awen said she split off.""Ah, yes," Awen said. "I met up with Desiree, and we have a meeting to see some people in the city who have sound magic and enchanted equipment for stage shows and big events. There are even camera operators in this city, you know.""Like a film cameras?" I asked."Huh? No? I mean, maybe? I don't know how they work, exactly. I believe they take an image on a chemical plate using a bright flash timed with a shutter, but I'm not entirely certain," Awen said. "I know how the lenses work, but not the chemical process."Oh, she meant old-old cameras, with the big explosion and the drape over the cameraman's head and the tripods. Actually, that was kinda neat too!"Alas, I am struck with the sense that my productivity has failed to measure up to the rest of you fine souls," Desiree said as she patted one of her tails across her lap. "But worry not! A new day dawns tomorrow, and I shall redouble my efforts to impress you all with my vulpine work ethic!" "Yeah!" I cheered.We only had a few days until the big day, but I trusted in all of my friends. By working together, we'd turn Booksie's big day into something magical!
* * *
Awen's Halloween Special
Awen was sitting comfortably on a cushion she'd placed on the Beaver's floor. The ship had just about everything someone might want, but it did lack a large sitting area. Because of that, they tended to turn the kitchen into their lounge whenever it wasn't time to eat.That meant pushing the table aside (there were clever hooks on the wall and eyelets on the table so that it could hang there, and the legs folded inwards and locked into place as well) and spreading the chairs out so that everyone had a place to sit.They had some other seats as well. Lounge chairs and little sofas that were usually pressed up to the sides and out of the way, but which were brought out when it was time for them to sit back and relax.At the moment, Awen had eschewed any proper seating and had instead found herself plopped onto a cushion with her back to the wall. Her pose and the mere fact that she was sitting on the floor of all things would have driven her mother spare. It was half the reason she was doing it."Let me get this straight," Amaryllis said. "You have a celebration every year, a sort of festival...""Not quite," Broccoli said.Awen looked over her friends. It made her feel warm inside to know that she'd gone from none to this many. Sometimes she didn't get Broccoli's enthusiasm for meeting new people-why go out of her way to meet new people when she could stay indoors and mind her own business instead?-but other times... she got it.Amaryllis was huddled up in a big blanket, and next to her Caprica was sitting on one of their dining chairs, easily manipulating a pair of crochet needles and making... something out of it. A sweater, maybe?Calamity was doing something to his bow strings in the kitchen area, and their newest friend, Desiree, was brushing her tails out. Broccoli, of course, sat in the middle of the room, cocooned in a layer of blankets and looking like a frumpy lump of quilts with just her face sticking out. It was a bit chilly. The air outside was cold enough to see one's breath in, and the big bay windows on the far end of the room weren't quite able to keep the chill out.Awen was sitting next to the small magical heater, the warmth of it splashing across her one side so that she was half toasty and half chilly. It was nice.She glanced at Broccoli, then pulled her eyes away. It was hard to really look at her best friend sometimes. Broccoli might not have realized it, or maybe she did and she was just willfully ignorant about it, but she was... cute. Very cute.Right now, with just her face peeking out of the blankets, her big puffy cheeks looked extra puffy and pinchable, and the way her little button nose twitched at the end was impossibly attention-grabbing. Then there were her ears. She'd let them flop down around her face, like a furry scarf, and the tips of them were wiggling about every time Broccoli spoke."So," Broccoli continued. She'd been explaining some sort of celebration they had where she was from. Awen often wondered if everyone from Broccoli's homeland was like her. If that was the case, then... then life just wasn't fair. "Halloween is... old, I guess? I can't remember its actual origins, but it started way, way long ago, before I was ever around. I guess there was a bunch of meaning to it, but now it's mostly an excuse to dress up and eat candy.""I like this celebration," Caprica said."You just want an excuse to gorge yourself on sweets," Amaryllis said."Yes, and?" Caprica shot back. Her needles continued to click and clack. "I also like the idea of dressing up. It's not like a ball, right? This sounds less formal than that.""Huh? No, it's not like a ball at all," Broccoli said. "I mean, I guess there are maskerades?" "Ah,those are quite fun," Caprica said.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon."I find them daft," Amaryllis replied. "You can tell who someone is based on their feathering, a little mask won't hide anything, and pretending not to know feels foolish."Awen held back a giggle. She'd been to a few masked balls before, never by choice, but she generally enjoyed them more than the non-masked ones. They had been an excuse for others to act as someone other than themselves, and for her to be herself, if only for an evening. It was funny, seeing the attitude of her friends. They all came from such strange cultural backgrounds. Broccoli more than the rest, of course. Hers was a world apart. But that didn't mean that the others didn't have their own quirks."We have costume balls," Desiree said as she continued to swipe a brush through her tail. She paused to tug some hair out of the bristles. "They're quite amusing. The more far fetched and creative the dress, the more accolades the dress receives. Of course it's forbidden to hide one's tails, or make it seem as though you have more than what you truly have.""That sounds more like Halloween," Broccoli said. Her head popped fully out of the blankets and hear ears sprang back up above her head, as if they were spring-loaded. "But Halloween is all about being a bit spooky.""Spooky?" Amaryllis asked."Like... ghosts, and monsters, skulls and creepy things," Broccoli said."Why would anyone want anything to do with ghosts," Amaryllis asked. "They're both foolish and have a strong aversion to the living. All they deserve is a sharp zap to send them off to a real afterlife.""No, not like that," Broccoli said. "Ghosts aren't real.""I beg to differ.""I mean, they're not real back home," Broccoli clarified. Then she paused. "Or maybe they're just shy? Anyway! We dress up as creepy things and try to scare each other. It's quite a lot of fun! Kids go from house to house, and they get candy."Caprica tilted her head a little. "I don't see how those two things fit together.""Ah, well... me neither, but it's still fun?" Broccoli tried. "It was one of my top ten favourite holidays! We couldn't afford nice pre-made costumes, but my dad and mom and I would make some things together anyway, and then I'd get free candy! It was great!"Awen smiled fondly. "What kind of costumes?" she asked shyly. She wished that she was louder. Amaryllis had a voice that boomed and carried most of the time, and Caprica and Calamity could both hold their own. Even Desiree, with her very flowery way of speaking had a way of grabbing people's attention. By contrast, Awen found it hard to speak up most of the time."Oh! All sorts of things!" Broccoli said. Awen might not speak loud, but Broccoli listened hard. "I remember dressing as a princess! My mom was a princess too! And so was my dad. He, uh, didn't look good, but that was half the fun! And we did robots once, with cardboard and aluminum foil and these long flexible tubes.""This whole thing is sounding less like a holiday and more like an excuse to look like fools," Amaryllis said."Exactly!" Broccoli cheered. "I never dressed as a bird. Oh! But we did do cats one year! My mom likes musicals."Calamity half-turned from his spot in the kitchen. "What, you went around with cat ears and a tail?""Yeah!""That's racist.""Ah!" Broccoli said. Her cheeks warmed up, and then she pouted. "But cat people aren't real!" Calamity blinked. "What do nya mean, we're not real?"Awen pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle some giggles as Broccoli wiggled her arms about and tried to explain herself. Calamity continued to grill her, though it was obvious that his outrage was more teasing than anything.This was nice. Awen thought that she might just be the luckiest girl on Dirt sometimes, for having found friends this good.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twelve — Cleaning Up the Remainder
Chapter Five Hundred and Twelve — Cleaning Up the Remainder We woke up bright and early the next morning, and while it was nice to be back in our rooms-or at least, I enjoyed waking up in my own bed on my own cabin aboard the Beaver Cleaver even if I did have Desiree sleeping over with her feet by my ears and her tails in my face-but there wasn't much time to linger. The winter solstice was nineteen days away. That was the day of Booksie's wedding, and also apparently a big day of celebration across a lot of local cultures.Nineteen days sounded like a lot. And it probably would have been a lot ... for a regular wedding. But this wedding was anything but regular.Regular weddings did not involve people powerful enough to flatten a city, after all.... It was strange to think that we were so close to mid-winter. It wasn't cold at all. Did we live on the equator?I wasn't sure, but that would be a question to tease Amaryllis about later. For now we had a whole day ahead of us.After a quick breakfast, we split up, this time grabbing some of the Beaver's crew to help because this was very much an all-hands-on-deck kind of situation. The day then proceeded to move ahead.It was weird because it both felt like the day was crawling and like it was moving super fast. I think because everything we did was fun in its own way, which made time fly past. But at the same time, everything was new, and new experiences always felt like they made things move slowly.My tasks for the day were to scout out the big plaza we were going to use as a wedding venue. Amaryllis was going to secure some decorations and my job for the morning was to figure out where they'd all go in the first place.I'd never decorated things very much before, but I had seen some nice places in the past and I figured it couldn't be all that complicated, right? The weather decided to prove that it, at least, could be complicated. The skies opened up to a freezing cold downpour that had my ears flopping down around my neck. The local grenoil didn't seem to mind it much. If anything the rain was an excuse to get outside and take a walk. The non-grenoil (except for me; I didn't mind getting a bit wet) got their umbrellas out.So, we weren't going to put anything up with the rain, but that didn't mean we couldn't give the plaza a proper scrubbing! I started at one end and slowly walked around it in shrinking circles, only pausing when I had to let traffic by. The guards gave me looks, but I was just splashing Cleaning magic around and the results were nicer to look at.Port Royal wasn't a dirty city, but it did have a lot of foot traffic and the coal-burning stacks at the far end of the city did turn the air a little smoggy. My deep clean whisked away dirt and grime and left the bare stones of the paving blocks looking all shiny and new. The rain helped too, giving them a sleek sheen.Then it was the roads, the bollards on the sides, and even some of the local statuary. There were a few small fountains on the sides of the space, as well as some statues of what looked like important people. Those had turned green with verdigris, but a quick splash of Cleaning magic had them all shiny and golden looking as if they had just been cast for the first time.I would probably clean everything again the morning of the wedding, but by dealing with all the worst stains now, that would go pretty quick.The plaza was a decently large space. It was lined on all sides by a mix of shops and what looked like important government buildings and offices. Lots of nice stonework with little carvings here and there, and since the area was well-patrolled by the city-guard, there wasn't much in the way of trash on the walking spaces and graffiti on the walls.The space was some two hundred paces wide but another hundred and fifty-ish long, more or less. A big not-quite-square. The smaller fountains on the sides angled inwards towards a big one at the rear. That one had several important looking grenoil standing with hand in hand next to a carving of a mountain made from a single massive boulder. Atop that, with her wings curving inwards, was a large brass dragon that had a suspiciously familiar look to her. Rhawrexdee's mom? It had to be! The grenoil statutes were spitting out little spritzes of water and there were some smaller animals around doing the same. It probably sounded nice and peaceful when the sky wasn't pouring gallons onto my head.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.I hit the fountain with some Cleaning magic too, and that improved the water flow a smidge. Then, since I was starting to run out of mana, I started on the gardens.They weren't quite gardens, more like boxy planters and areas where the stepping stones rose up a smidge and left some room for grass, a few bushes and maybe a few hardy flowering plants. Someone was taking care of these, because the grass had been trimmed recently, but there were still a few weeds that I picked out and tossed, then I gave the flowers a bit of sprucing up and trimmed a few broken branches out of the bushes.It was dirty, knee-muddying work, but I got some grateful nods from passersby and I was happy with the results. Besides, it was nothing some Cleaning couldn't take care of.I left the plaza around noon, just as the rain started to let up. It was now spic-and-span and so clean it looked as if it had been constructed just that morning. After meeting up with my friends at Booksie's shop where we had sandwiches and figured out who had done what, Amaryllis-who was now armed with a clipboard and who had never been scarier-sent me and Caprica to find someone to officiate the wedding and to poke at the city government to make sure that no matter what, the wedding would absolutely be legal.That turned out to be pretty fun. Finding an officiant meant running around the entire city. Caprica wanted to do things the official way, but I just started asking married grenoil on the street about who tied the knot for them.By mid-afternoon we had a list of potentials, and then it was just a question of tracking them down and finding one who was free.The best option turned out to be a gentlemanly older grenoil who worked in a small church just a couple of blocks away from the plaza. He came highly regarded, and insisted that we sit down and have tea while he asked questions about Booksie and Rhawrexdee. He said that to make the moment as special as possible, it was best if he knew a little about them so that he could tailor the speech he'd be giving to each of them.He agreed to take care of the event. His fees were very reasonable according to Caprica. Though he did want to meet Booksie first to ask her some more questions. Next was the legal matter, and that's the part of the day that felt longest. First we had to go up to the Sylphfree embassy near the top of the city, then we had to meet with a small team of grenoil and sylph solicitors. 'Solicitor' turned out to be a fancy word for 'lawyer,' and they really lived up to that kind of reputation. There were some interns carrying books so thick they could serve as ballast and fancy folk wearing robes and wigs.Caprica laid out the problem we had-that Deepmarsh law didn't explicitly make marriage between a bun and a dragon legal-and then they were off searching through their massive tomes and arguing definitions.After nearly two full hours of listening to them go back and forth, I was dragged along as half the group marched back down to City Hall. Interns drafted letters and long legal forms while I tried to keep up with the march. Once we arrived, the solicitors girdled themselves with the law and stomped into the place as if they were ready for war.They were met by the stalwart defence of the city bureaucrats, but they hadn't had time to prepare for the surprise assault, and so quickly fell.Even so, it took the rest of the day for the solicitors to completely overrun the bureaucratic defences. It was so boring that I nearly fell asleep on my feet, and I wasn't even tired.The solicitors had had time to study and prepare their case, so even when the city's own arrived, they didn't have good ground to stand on, and a quick accord was reached between the two parties. There was apparently a large loophole in the law that basically said that dragons could do as they pleased as long as they weren't burning the country down.It ended with handshakes all around and a bill that Caprica discreetly folded and put away.I was mostly just happy that it had ended because the sun was already down and I was real hungry.It was time for another big meal with my friends, and then we'd be onto another day of preparation before the big day. It felt like way too little time.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirteen — Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirteen — Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful We had seventeen days before the wedding, and the rain of the previous few days returned as snow.It started in the early morning. We were all aboard the Beaver, getting ready to take off for the morning and enjoying some warm beverages to ward off the bit of a chill that had picked up overnight when I heard Awen gasp.Looking outside of our dining area, I could make out a few fat snowflakes gently drifting down from a slightly overcast sky."That won't change our plans much," Amaryllis said. "Though if it is likely to be cold on the day of the wedding, we might want to look into renting or finding some braziers that we can set up in the plaza to keep people warm.""Can we find some that are smokeless?" I asked. "We wouldn't want to ruin the vibes if there's a bit of wind and suddenly everyone is coughing.""That's a strange consideration, but I can see where you're coming from," Amaryllis said. She rubbed her chin, then nodded. "I'm quite certain there are magical braziers available. I remember seeing some in the Harpy Mountains. We have enough time to source a few."With that said and done, we continued breakfast (It was oatmeal and granola with a sprinkling of a sweet sauce that was a little bit like maple syrup but not as thick or sweet or yummy). Outside, the occasional drifting snowflake became a faint flurry of snow carried by the wind, and by the time we were stepping out to get on with our day's work, the snow had turned constant.I was halfway to Booksie's place when I realized that this first snowfall of the year might also keep. It was starting to pile up on rooftops and street corners, and while a lot of the snow was melting on contact with the ground, some of it was sticking around.It continued to snow harder into the afternoon, and by midday, as we were gathering up once more to go over our progress for the day, a nasty wind had joined the falling snow and the clouds had only grown thicker.It was a full-blown snowstorm by early evening, and getting back to the Beaver meant walking against the snow with arms stretched out before us and magical shields in place to keep the sleet away. My Cleaning magic proved kinda useless against snow. It only made it fluffier before it pelted us in the face. I tried having fireballs that hovered before me, but I couldn't make my fireballs hot enough to completely evaporate the snow. All I did was turn it into rain.We made it back to the Beaver and huddled in the dining room with towels around our shoulders to dry off from the wetness. I got started on some hot cocoa and we all sat looking through the bay windows out on the airship docks.The low howl of the wind blew heavy clouds above and below us, intermittently hiding the mountain peaks and the lowlands. Snowflakes fell thick and fast, building up on the brightly painted airships and spiraling down the slope of the mountain. A few dockworkers, bundled up thight in coats and scarves and hats, worked to sweep the snow off the piers.My mom would've paid good money for a postcard that looked half as nice.That night was pretty chilly, but Amaryllis had managed to secure a magical brazier and we snuck it into the ship and lit it up. It didn't produce any fire, just a faint glow from an array of interlinked magical runes inside of the brazier's cage. It turned the interior of the Beaver into a toasty oven.The next day started with clear skies and crisp, cold air. It was actually much colder now that the snow had stopped, and every breath came with a few faint wisps of vapour. "How cold does it get here?" I asked Amaryllis as we shovelled off the Beaver's deck."Here, in Port Royal? I can't imagine it being too bad," she said. "The Darkwoods will be cold enough, but Deepmarsh is relatively warm all year round, and the ocean just to the south is also known for being warm all year.""Well, it's not warm now," I said as I ran a hand over a railing and cleared it of snow."Obviously. We're still quite high up, and it's possible that a cold front has slipped in from the north. The Harpy Mountains become quite cold this time of year." She nodded. "Especially the northern reaches. Obviously the Snowlands aren't known for any amount of warmth.""Uh-huh," I agreed. "This'll be my first winter on Dirt. It feels a little strange.""Strange how?" she asked.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation."I dunno," I replied, and it was the truth. It was just making me feel a little weird. I knew I ought to feel a little homesick, and I did miss my parents, but... this was too much fun to feel icky about it? Did that make me a bad daughter? "Maybe it's nostalgia? My home is known for its winters, you know? And now that I can see snow again, it feels weird not to be back home. It feels like it should be December now? We'd be starting to panic about Christmas presents right about now. School would be in full swing, but we'd all be looking forward to winter break."Amaryllis moved closer to my side, then wrapped a wing around my shoulders. "We'll have to make your first winter on Dirt memorable, then. There are plenty of customs I'm sure you'll adore.""Is there gift-giving?" I asked."Of course," Amaryllis said."Do you put the gifts under a decorated tree?" I asked.She blinked. "What? No, why would you do that? Who would go out to a tree in the middle of winter to retrieve their gifts? You put the gifts in a large, gaily decorated nest.""Ah, that's much more sensible," I said before I broke out into giggles. Amaryllis gave the back of my head a whack with her wing.The day was pretty quiet. We checked up on a few projects to make sure that they were progressing and to 'keep people honest' according to Amaryllis, but everything seemed like it was on track, and by the time lunch rolled around we didn't have much left to do.We gathered up around Booksie's place and had an early lunch. Cooking with friends was always fun, even if it got to be a little chaotic at times. After lunch, we did some skill practice. I still needed to get Mana Regeneration and Thick Skin, which meant burning through all of my mana reserves as quickly as I could and then letting Amaryllis fling little bolts of lightning at me.By the time skill practice ended, I felt like a very crispy broccoli.The others made some progress. Desiree and Calamity both spent some time sparring, and they both ended up tousled and covered in snow while Awen mostly just sat with Caprica and Booksie and read some big engineering book that Booksie let her take from the shop.Eventually we had to clear out because Rhawrexdee came down to visit. He seemed overjoyed to see us, and happier to see that Booksie wasn't as stressed.It was hard to be anxious when surrounded by so many friends! At least, that's how it was for me, and I think it worked that way a little for Booksie too.Rhawr was happy to be brought up to date with all of our projects and he joined us for a late supper which mostly involved cooking huge portions of food, eating our fill, then tossing the rest into his mouth."I am glad that things are coming along well," he said. "And also, I am a dragon, so if anyone causes you any amount of distress, feel free to remind them that I am capable of eating them.""I don't think that sounds very nice," I said. "Threatening people isn't okay.""I disagree," Rhawrexdee said. "I am not a threat. I am a dragon."The difference felt a bit like splitting hairs, but who was I to judge? Besides, Rhawr was being a very helpful groom, all things considered. He promised us to help with the payments for whatever we needed, which meant that he was using up some of the gold from his own hoard to help.As far as I could tell, it was a much bigger deal for a dragon to give up some portion of their hoard than it was for a human to give up some money.He didn't treat it like a big deal, though. His enormous reptilian eyes softened as Booksie explained the costs, and his voice was resolute when he stated he would cover the payments.For a while, we left the two of them alone in Booksie's backyard. She sat perched on the curl of Rhawr's tail, and they talked in low voices while watching the clear blue sky. Occasionally, the sound of his warm chuckle or her windchime giggles would drift into the house.I couldn't help but smile.The day ended soon after, and we decided that the most fun thing to do was sleep over at Booksie's. We set up a big tent, getting it placed just before it started to snow a bit more. Rhawr curled up around the tent, and his body heat alone was enough to keep us all warm as we settled in and talked and laughed and teased each other for hours before finally falling asleep.We still had a lot of work to do, but as long as we were tackling some of it every day, then we were sure to get it all done before the wedding. Booksie had nothing to worry about!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fourteen — Golden Moment
Chapter Five Hundred and Fourteen — Golden Moment "Alright!" Amaryllis said with great authority."Alright indeed," Desiree replied with a serious nod that broke out into a teasing smile when Amaryllis gave her an unamused look.We were situated in our war room.That's what Caprica had started calling it, and as we congregated in it day after day, the name had stuck. I think it was mostly because of the irony of calling Booksie's reading room a 'war room.' We had five big, floofy couches arranged in a semi-circle around an old wooden coffee table. A small fireplace sat across from us, made of local stones and with a lively fire crackling and spitting within. It filled the room with a nice smokey scent that mixed well with the lingering odour of hot cocoa and tea and the taste of pastries that stuck to my lips.Caprica had scoured the city for good pastry shops and had come back with samples from half a dozen of them, so we had croissants, eclairs, donuts, and some strange squarish pastry with a sort of greenish paste inside that the local grenoil called "hoppers" ... it was enough to feed a small army.It was night, though Port Royal was surprisingly well lit despite that. The room had the fireplace, of course, but also a pair of old magical lamps with glowing runes hanging from metal sconces on the walls. Booksie said that they were due to be changed because their light was dim and didn't carry far, but I kind of liked the cozy vibes I was getting.Seeing my friends only in the soft oranges of firelight made them feel even warmer and cozier. The warm drinks and sweet food settled in my tummy and left me feeling all sleepy and yet too awake to actually snooze."Well," Amaryllis said. "It took over two weeks since Cholondee began her search, but..." she reached over the edge of the couch she was occupying and pulled out a package from a bag. She carefully unwrapped the box, then opened it on her lap to reveal a ring. A very large golden ring which she raised up with both hands.The ring was large enough that I could have maybe worn it as a crown. Or maybe it was a bit too big for that and it would have fallen around my neck. Judging by the way Amaryllis raised it, it was exactly as heavy as it looked."Is that the lost ring?" Calamity asked. He leaned forwards a little and squinted. I did the same. The ring was definitely sized for one of Rhawr's talons. The outside of the band was covered in criss-crossing patterns that looked like knots and... were those little bunny heads on it? That was cute! I think Booksie's ring had little dragons on it, so they kind of matched!"This is, indeed, the lost ring," Amaryllis said as she placed the ring on the coffee table-was it a tea table? I wasn't sure if they had coffee here-with a heavy clunk. "Pure gold. I don't even know the exact weight, but certainly enough to make it a tempting target.""Cholondee found it?" I asked. I hadn't heard the whole story yet."One of her... goons?" Amaryllis' face twisted in distaste at the word. "They tracked it down to a gold-buyer's shop. News about the ring has been circulating, as well as news of the whole wedding of course. The buyer took what notes he could from the seller, then contacted Cholondee's people.""They repaid him?" Caprica asked."With a bonus to spare," Amaryllis said. "The thief is still on the loose. Apparently they came in disguise. Honestly, I don't think it matters anymore. The ring is back, and we brought it to a bank to have it covered in anti-theft enchantments. Temporary ones, mind. They'll last until the wedding.""And afterwards, stealing it would mean removing the ring from a dragon's talon," Caprica said. She swirled her mug of tea about. "Good luck to any thief that tries that.""It would be a lot of experience," Calamity said. "The more challenging the trial, the better the reward.""There's challenging where being caught means time in jail, and there's challenging where being caught means turning into a snack," Caprica said. "Let's not gamble too much on the intelligence of criminals, however."Amaryllis sniffed. "If it's stolen after the wedding, then it's no longer our problem, so we shouldn't even worry about it."You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.Booksie giggled. "I think dragons usually have a good sense for where their things are. They're a little like squirrels, or some types of birds."Amaryllis huffed. "I can think of a few harpies with some dragon-like characteristics, then.""Ah, so, other than the ring being back, what do we have left to do?" Awen asked. She shifted in the sofa she occupied. It was made for someone much larger than her, so she was kind of lost in it. Awen had a small notebook filled with little doodles but also a long to-do list. She and Amaryllis and Caprica had been our organisers for the last week or so. "Um... it looks like most of the things that are left are time-sensitive?""So mostly just checking up on things?" I asked."Pretty much," Amaryllis agreed. "We're going to have to go around and keep everyone honest until the very last day. On that day we're going to have to make sure everything is properly coordinated.""That'll be fun," I said."No, it will not," Amaryllis countered. "It'll be a small nightmare. There's a lot of logistical plates that need to all be spun at the right time and at the right speed. We're mostly dealing with professionals, so that's a relief, but even they need to be pushed and prodded into the right place at the right time. And then there's the unprofessionals." She looked to Awen who wiggled away into her sofa."Uncle will... try his best," Awen said."Doesn't your uncle have a bit of a problem with Rhawr's mom?" I asked.Booksie sighed. "I'm just happy that the familial issues aren't on my side of things," she said. "I'm sure Rhawr's mother can put aside any issues she has for one afternoon. Though... perhaps ensure that your uncle is on his best behaviour?""I'll let him know," Awen agreed with a nod. "I promise that he won't be a problem." She swallowed, and I think that she knew just how flimsy of a promise that was."Do we have any tasks for the next few days, other than running around and checking on things?" I asked.Amaryllis hummed. "Bodyguard duty for the bride-to-be.""Is that really necessary?" Booksie asked.We all kind of stared at her until the bun went red in the face, so much so that we could all see it even in the firelight."I mean, I don't really plan on leaving my shop, and I know that it's well-guarded now," she defended. "And I've gained a few levels as well! I'm not nearly as weak as I once was.""That doesn't mean that you're strong enough to take on any big threat that might try to fight you," I said. "Besides, bodyguard duty is just Amaryllis' fancy way of saying 'hang out with friends duty.'""That doesn't have nearly as nice a ring to it," Amaryllis grumped."Exactly," I said. "Can someone pass me the chocolate?"Calamity picked up the magical kettle of warm milk and poured some into my mug, then I sprinkled on some slivers of cocoa and mixed it in with a spoonful of powdered sugar and a pinch of salt. It lacked some whipped cream, but no one in Port Royal sold cans of that. Maybe no one on Dirt, even!I plucked a hopper off the pastry platter and sat back down to dip the confection in my drink. It was a little sloppy, but that only made it taste that much better.We had four days until the big day. Things were more or less lined up now, but that didn't mean that we could just sit back and relax. There were bound to be some last-minute disasters to take care of and fires to put out.I was actually looking forward to those, in a weird way.It made me feel just a smidge guilty, but... well, it was fun to run around with my friends and try to tackle novel problems. It made me feel good to be helpful and meet new people and think really hard about ways to fix the issues that arose. Maybe being on bodyguard duty for a couple of days would help?Booksie and I could do some sparring! And practice with magic, and chat! And I could play chaperon when Rhawr came around, which-according to Amaryllis and Caprica-was very important.In any case, by this same time next week, the whole thing would be done!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifteen — The Big Day
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifteen — The Big Day The big day dawned, and everything was going alright."This is terrible."Everything was in order."Why did I agree to this? This is going to be a disaster."The bride was looking pretty."I look like a marshmallow! Why did I stress eat so much? Why did I eat at all?"The groom was likely just as ready."Did anyone go out to wake Rhawr up? He's a heavy sleeper. It would be just like that goof to sleep through the ceremony. Oh Dirt, this is going to be a spectacle."The venue was as prepared as could be, and from the few sneak-peeks I got on the way over, it looked fit for a royal wedding."I bet all the nobles are laughing at us. Did we really need to cover everything in so many draperies? Are those even the right colour? Wait, what do I know about draperies? Oh, this is going to be a laughingstock for decades, isn't it?"And overall, I was quite happy with the work my friends and I put into the entire wedding. Sure, it wasn't our usual sort of adventure, but it had proven just as hard-if not harder-than a mere dungeon delve.I was sure that Booksie would be very appreciative of all of that... once she settled down and was in a calmer state of mind. At the moment she was pacing back and forth, chewing on her freshly manicured thumbnail, and looked like she was one 'boo!' away from a spectacular explosion.She was, at the moment, the prettiest girl in the world, even under all the worry and wide-eyed stress. Port Royal had some fantastically talented makeup people, and they seemed very proud to be able to work their literal beautification magic on Booksie to erase any blemishes and make her best features pop. Other than a bit of lipstick, she looked like she wasn't wearing any makeup at all, which was impressive seeing as how they'd definitely worked through several jars of the stuff.Her dress swirled around her, somehow not catching on her legs as she swept around in her pacing. There was dress magic at work here too, a gift from the tailor that had helped her into the dress this morning and warned everyone not to cast anything that might interfere with the enchantments laid into the fabric. The dress sparkled and glowed, but no more than Booksie did at the moment."Booksie," I said as I carefully reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. She froze, then took a deep, deep breath and let it all out."I'm being silly, aren't I?" she asked."I think it's okay to be worried," I said honestly. "It's a big day for you. But everything will be just fine. We have things in hand. It's going to be one of the best days ever. I bet in a hundred years you'll look back and still remember it fondly. You look very, very pretty, so much so that I don't think even the best painter will be able to capture it. Rhawr will be on his best behaviour, I'm sure, and the entire plaza looks fantastic. You don't have anything to worry about."Booksie nodded, then made vague, violent gestures in the air before her. "I know! I know! It's just... urgh!""Do you want a hug?" I asked."And risk ruining the makeup and the hair and the dress?" she asked."I think it'd still be worth it," I said.Booksie shook her head. "No, it's fine. Ah, I just... need a bit of air. And maybe..."We were actually in one of the city's buildings. That was, a building owned by Port Royal. It had some offices on the floor above, but otherwise it was a space next to the plaza. At the moment, the front was hosted by a large all-white pavilion covered in golden filigree. The city had graciously let us use the space, especially since there was a decently large yard at the back where a dragon could settle down and get prettied up without being out in the spotlight that was the plaza.I peeked out of a window looking out onto the plaza itself. It was quite packed. People, mostly local grenoils but a smattering of others, were grouped up behind a long length of cord that cut the space in half. Beyond the cord, the rest of the plaza was filled with seating facing a podium to one end where the marriage ceremony itself would be taking place.The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.The square was crawling with security, mainly city guards, dressed in their best and shiniest armour, and they were often flanked by members of the Exploration Guild, their guild pins glinting in the sun as they parked themselves on rooftops and on open balconies where they had a good view of the venue.I nodded and tugged the curtain closed. It looked like everything was in order out there. "Is there anything you like doing to calm down?" I asked.Booksie paused, then nodded and gestured to a small satchel she'd carried with her this morning. "Can you pass me that? Or rather, give me the book inside of it?"I nodded, picking up the bag and rifling through it. There were toiletries and a wallet and the usual sorts of things I'd expect to find in a purse. A book was tucked into the bottom. A paperback, though it really didn't have much of a cover. It was ratty and well-read, the pages crumpled up a smidge and it looked like the book had been stained a few times by spilled tea and hot chocolate.I carefully removed the book, then twisted it this way and that. There had been a title on it once, but the title had been rubbed off by age. "This looks like an old book," I said."Only because I've abused it," Booksie said, with a soft smile. She extended a hand, and I gave her the book. It was strange, how she handled it so casually, yet seemed to cherish the worn pages under her fingertips. "I've read this story a dozen-and-one-times. More, probably. It's an old, old favourite of mine. I think I can quote every scene verbatim.""Why did you read it so many times if you know it already?" I asked."Because the characters in this one are my friends," Booksie said.I eyed the book. Was it magic?Booksie giggled, and I blinked and looked up to catch her eye. "You're giving it a look," she said. "It's just a book I'm very fond of. It's not particularly well-written, but it is easy to read, and I've spent hours a day dreaming about the people in this book and the world they're from. Whenever I get a little too tense, a little too stressed, I try to find some time to sit down and give it another read. At this point it's more of a skim than anything else, really.""Oh. Well, that's kind of nice," I said. "I guess I understand, though I've never really liked reading the same story twice.""That's fair too," Booksie said. "I don't like doing that either, not unless a good few years have passed between readings. Long enough for me to forget what happened exactly.""Okay then," I said. "Let's find some cushions and a clean blanket or something. I think there's a bench in the back, but it looks a bit old and rusty, and we don't want your dress covered in stains."I grabbed both a cushion from a sofa and a thick old blanket that was laying around, then I bustled out the back with Booksie. It didn't take long for her to be bundled up and sat on the bench, the blanket drawn up around her shoulder to keep the chill at bay.It was a smidge chilly out. Fresh fluffy snow dusted the ground, just enough to paint everything white. It wasn't actually all that cold, though. Just chilly enough to prevent the snow from melting and turn every breath into a plume of fog, but a thick blanket and a bit of magic was more than enough to keep us warm.I looked up and noted some members of the Exploration Guild on nearby rooftops. They were keeping an eye on things. "I'll pop inside and get some tea going," I said."Thank you," Booksie said with a return smile. She already had her book open and was snuggling herself in to read.I grinned, then ducked back into the building to prepare some tea. It took me a few minutes. By the time the water was done coming to a boil and I finished finding a platter to carry the tea on, Booksie had been joined by some company outside.I think it broke some traditions to have the groom spend time with the bride, but as I peeked out of the window and discovered Rhawr's long neck wrapped around Booksie as she read from her book aloud to him, I couldn't find it in me to care much for that kind of tradition.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixteen — Vows
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixteen — Vows "Are you ready?" I asked.Booksie nodded, then straightened out her back and raised her bouquet of flowers closer to her chest. "I'm ready," she said.I smiled, then peeked out of the carriage.It was... kind of contrived, but Booksie was meant to arrive by carriage, even though we'd literally been in a building right next to the plaza. Apparently, it wouldn't be very inspiring for Booksie to emerge from the cramped door of the city's Property Deed Archive.I kinda understood. It was far more romantic to step out of a gilded carriage being pulled by a team of white horses to the fanfare of a live band.A grenoil chauffeur opened the carriage door, and I nodded to Caprica and Awen. We stepped out in order of height, Caprica first, then Awen, then me. All three of us had practised this bit a few times, so we knew to step off to the side and form an orderly line next to the carriage.It hit me then, the moment I took my place. There were so many people here. A thousand bodies, all squeezed in tight. Clever people had taken over balconies all around the plaza to have a better look at the wedding, and even though there was a whole band trumpeting out a wedding march with great enthusiasm, the sound of so many people whispering and chatting in low voices was still a lot.The carriage was lined up with a long carpet that reached all the way to the pavilion where the wedding's orator stood. The space before that pavilion was the reserved seating, and there were all sorts of important guests there. I saw nobles and dignitaries from a few countries, all sitting nice and neatly.It was a good thing that the day was so chilly. It made the noonday sun's warmth nice and cozy as opposed to glaringly hot.Off to the left of the pavilion was the space reserved for the larger guests.Cholondee was there, looking quite smug in her own bridesmaid's dress (it was more like a bridesmaid's ascot, but there was more material in that alone than in all the other dresses we were wearing combined.) Next to her was Rhawr's mom.The dragoness was barely holding it together.She was dabbing a patterned tablecloth against her eyes and holding back massive sniffles.Past those two, and occupying a large chunk of the open plaza, were half a dozen other dragons. Honestly, with the number of dragons here, I was impressed that there were so many people, but they all did seem as if they were on their best behaviour.There were a couple of reds, a green, and a very small blue dragon, as well as a large black dragon and a dragon that was either an albino, or just really pale.Off to the far end of the pavilion was, of course, the groom himself. Rhawrexdee was wearing a large tie around his dragon-y neck, and a very dapper top hat upon his head. He had cuffs on, with links large enough to serve as hubcaps for the carriage, and his scales had all been buffed and shined so that he glimmered a sparkling blue in the sunlight.He looked like a piece of the sky itself.Although he was clearly trying to master himself and present a regal appearance, I still caught him shifting his weight back and forth a bit. I guess even dragons get nervous on their wedding day.The music reached a crescendo just as Booksietook her first step out of the carriage. I reached an arm up, taking her hand to help her down. It wasn't normally hard to get out of a carriage, but her million-layer skirt was a bit more of a tripping hazard than usual.There was a sudden hush across the entire crowd as people saw Booksie, many of them probably for the first time. I could understand it, with her embarrassed little blush and her poofed out ears, she really was breathtaking.Then Booksie looked across the Rhawr and she grinned. It was a good grin, the sort that scrunched up her nose and made her look as mischievous as she was happy.Rhawr sat up a little straighter next to the pavilion.Then the band picked up again, and we started to walk forwards in the same order. There was a slight hitch as we moved through a sort of barrier that was entirely invisible, but I could feel it with my magical senses.A glance over to the side revealed several members of the mage's guild sitting behind the ranks of nobles. They were focused on something pretty complex. One of the security precautions that Amaryllis had set up. Anyone trying to crash this wedding would find it harder than they expected.Exploration guild members were also mixed in with the nobles, and there was a whole line of city guardsmen between them and the larger crowds. Abraham was around too, but keeping out of sight of Rhawr's mom.Ah, yes, there were also lots of dragons here.If anyone tried anything, they'd be in for a heap of trouble. And then they'd be one of the guest's snacks, if they were lucky.The band reached a softer refrain, and we moved down the carpeted aisle, my heels sinking slightly with each step. I kept my eyes mostly forward but couldn't resist stealing glances at my friends along the sides. All of the nobles stood up for the bride, and we were followed by a wave of susurrations.Booksie walked with her bouquet gripped a little tightly, though her smile softened with every step closer to Rhawr. I think, if anyone else tried to look half as cute in a dress that elaborate, it might've looked ridiculous, but Booksie managed it without any issue.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.The crowd couldn't stop watching her either. A ripple of sighs and quiet admiration ran through the plaza, and I couldn't blame them. Even the dragons leaned in slightly.When we reached the podium, I stepped off to the side, joining Caprica and Awen as we arranged ourselves in a neat line. Cholondee's head lowered next to mine as she took her own place in the line.Booksie continued forward, every step purposeful until she finally stopped just a couple of paces from Rhawr. The way he looked at her in that moment—with a gaze so intent and soft you'd hardly recognize him as the same dragon who threatened to nom a town if we didn't help him find a date—made me feel something warm and glowy in my chest. He barely moved, his expression only changing to a slightly shy, almost uncertain smile when she gave him that cheeky grin again.The officiant, the grenoil elder, was wearing a set of elaborate robes and a super fancy hat that were clearly saved for special occasions. He cleared his throat, and a bit of magic carried his voice across the entire plaza."Marriage ... marriage is what brings us together, today! We gather as one—across realms, races, and roles—to witness the union of two souls, bound by love and strengthened by friendship. Catherine 'Booksie' Cabbage, Rhawrexdee the dragon, your journey has brought you here, through trials, through joy, and through countless little moments that have forged the bond you now share."I blinked. I'd completely forgotten that Booksie's name was a nickname. Her family name was Cabbage? What a strange thing for a family to call themselves.The elderly grenoil paused, letting his words settle over the crowd, then continued with a gentle smile."It is not every day that we are honoured to witness a union as rare and remarkable as this one. To love, as each of us knows, is to open oneself to both strength and vulnerability. It is to offer one's truest self to another, and to receive them in kind. And it is this, above all else, that binds Catherine and Rhawrexdee together. In their journey, they have learned courage, compassion, and understanding—qualities that know no bounds of species or realm."Together, they have overcome challenges and discovered, time and again, that the bonds of friendship can grow into something more profound. And today, they choose to stand before us, declaring that love. May their hearts and spirits remain open, just as they are today, with the promise to grow together and face whatever life may bring."The officiant's eyes twinkled as he spoke his next words. "Let us then celebrate this rare love, bound in love and light, under the watchful sky, with hearts full and spirits high." He gestured to Rhawr and Booksie with an inviting nod. "And now, let us hear the vows that each of you have prepared, as you share your hearts with one another and with all gathered here today."Rhawr went first. He seemed to brace himself, then shifted his massive head so he could look directly into her eyes, his voice low and almost bashful."Booksie… from the first moment I met you, you were an unpredictable presence in my life. I didn't know if I liked you. You challenged me, stood up to me, and, eventually, even became something I didn't expect to have—a friend." He took a deep breath, and his voice softened. "Now, you are more than my friend. You are my treasure, worth more to me than all the gold in the world—" One of the dragons gasped, but was quickly shushed. "—I vow to protect you, to cherish you, and to grow with you, every day forward."The crowd's collective sigh was loud enough to carry over the plaza, and I saw more than one noble subtly dabbing their eyes. Rhawr's mom was bawling. Booksie's own eyes sparkled, and when it was her turn, she took a deep, steadying breath."Rhawrexdee," she began, her voice warm and sure. "You may be a dragon, and I may be… well, a little bun who stumbled into your world, but that's exactly why I love you. You taught me courage, even when I didn't want to learn it, and you gave me a place in your heart." She paused, and her cheeks turned pink. "I vow to be by your side, through all the challenges, all the messes, and every adventure we face. You're my dragon, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Rhawr's blue cheeks went a deeper shade as she spoke, and I thought I saw his tail twitch slightly as he tried to keep still. Then, with a look of pride that seemed to lift her up a little taller, she finished, "I vow to make our home one filled with laughter, with safety, and with love."The elder gestured and Calamity, Amaryllis, and Desiree moved up with the rings. We needed three ringbearers because raising up the cushion with Rhawr's ring on it was a two-person job, while Booksie's looked teeny-tiny next to it."With this ring," the elder said, his voice filled with the weight of ceremony, "you are now bound in heart, in mind, and in spirit." Rhawr leaned down as far as he could, his forehead nearly touching Booksie's as the elder continued, "By the power vested in me, and under the eyes of the countless who bear witness today, I now pronounce you husband dragon and wife!"Cheers erupted, filling the plaza as everyone rose to their feet. Dragons rumbled with approval, and people tossed handfuls of flower petals into the air, creating a cascade of pinks and whites and reds. Booksie and Rhawr beamed at each other, entirely in their own world.I reached up and tugged my ears down to cover my eyes as they went in for a kiss.Above us, the sky erupted in happy fire.
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Chapter Five Hundred and Seventeen — Congratulations are in Order
Chapter Five Hundred and Seventeen — Congratulations are in Order I looked up, then 'ooohed' as a second firework went off.It was a rather sad looking firework, to be honest. Just a little streak of light that flew up and popped, sending sparks out every which way.And then the dragons at the back shifted their necks back and the sky filled with draconic roars.You have heard the proud call of a dragon. Your soul is shaken!The air filled with lines of fire, flurries of ice crystals, twisty gales of wind, and when Rhawr's mom raised her head up, the sky filled with a forking tree of actinic light that froze there, the ends of its lightning branches reaching out to the very edge of space in a display that was probably visible across the entire country.I blinked back tears at the display, then I noticed a bunch of people in the crowd raise their hands up into the sky.A thousand fireballs, lightbolts, cleaning spells, and various other colourful bits of magic zipped up and into the sky. They were nothing compared to the mighty magic of the dragons, but there were so many that it didn't matter if each one was individually weaker. It brightened the air above Port Royal so much that even the sun was being outshone.I shot off some cleaning balls of my own. It didn't add much to the show, but it felt nice to be participating! The air was buzzing with mana. So much of it that it almost felt like I'd rubbed myself all over with staticky balloons. My hair and fur was starting to stand on end.I glanced over to Booksie, worried that her big poofy dress might be caught in the same static...Booksie and Rhawr were looking at each other, and I wasn't sure if they'd even noticed the fireworks and all of the magic going on around them. Their eyes were only for each other right now.I smiled. I couldn't help it. The moment was too warm and soft not to allow myself to feel all fuzzy for it."Awa, this is the awkward part," Awen said next to me."Huh?" I asked."The part we haven't rehearsed," Caprica said. "The post-wedding part. This is where we're going to have to mingle with the politicians and nobles to try to keep them off of Booksie and Rhawrexdee. They can fawn over the pair a little, and give whatever gifts they want, but we need to keep them moving.""Oh, okay," I said. "Don't worry, I'm good at people! I'm sure I can manage this!""Usually this would be the recessional, where the bride and groom walk back down the aisle," Awen said. "But, ah, Rawr won't fit.""So, what do we do instead?" I asked."Nothing," Caprica said. She smiled, turned towards the crowd, and started to clap. I jumped to clapping too, because it felt like the right thing. It barely took a second for others to join in, and then the entire crowd was clapping and cheering.Booksie and Rhawr finally broke eye contact, and her face went spectacularly red as she finally noticed the crowd. There was a flash as a grenoil behind a big boxy camera took a picture, then Caprica tugged Awen and I forwards.We formed a bulwark against the incoming tide of well-wishing nobles. "Hello!" I said to a rather corpulent grenoil. He had a sash around his middle, and I suspected that he was the mayor. "Did you want to say hello to the bride and groom?" I asked."Indeed!" he said with a jovial smile. "This has been a day that Port Royal is not soon to forget! And as mayor I ought to congratulate the lucky couple myself, hmm hmm!""That's kind of you! Follow me then!" Caprica and Awen were discreetly holding off some others from reaching Booksie and Rhawr, so the mayor had plenty of time to step up on the first step of the platform where Booksie was standing. He gave her hand a firm shake and bowed in Rhawr's direction, then he went on to congratulate them in a voice that carried.I had to wonder if he had a mayor class, and if it was anything like a bard, because he had quite the voice and was very quick to lay on the compliments.Booksie took over in thanking him back. She looked very poised and regal next to her new husband, and Rhawr looked impossibly proud next to her.The mayor gave a-fortunately-short and passionate speech while standing just ahead of Booksie, then I thanked him profusely while bustling him off towards the gathering of important-looking people.The larger crowd beyond the guards was still there, though it seemed like they were being distracted by the opening of the food carts and vendors, as well as a few entertainers. I wasn't sure who had arranged for that, but it was a good idea, it kept the festive spirits up.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.The dragons were chatting between themselves in... relatively low voices. It was a good thing that the crowd was so loud, otherwise we would have heard every whisper from all the way over where we were.A few merchants were next, then a baron, and then a duke and then some ambassadors. One from Sylphfree, who was very quick to pass up on any sort of speech-making when Caprica gave him a look, and another from the Ostri, who gave Booksie a unnervingly large sheathed knife as a present.That wasn't the only gift, of course. We started to pile them up off to the side where the heap of gifts started to look quite pretty.I was just starting to think that this was going very well when I noticed Awen jolt up straight, almost as if she'd just gotten zapped.Turning, I looked over and noticed that she'd been approached by two humans, in properly fancy clothes. They seemed familiar, though. The woman especially. Blonde hair and blue eyes, just like Awen. Also, the same cheekbones, and she was almost as short as Awen... oh."M-mother," Awen mumbled. Her face flushed, and she stood frozen for a moment. I saw all of the confidence that Awen had been building up over months draining away like water down a drain. "M-mother," she stammered again, her hands clenching the edge of her skirt."Awen," Awen's mom said smoothly, her voice carrying just enough warmth to be polite but not enough to feel familiar. "It has been some time. I'm happy to see you in good health, even though you haven't written to let us know as much for so long."Awen winced at the words, and I saw her hands tighten further on the fabric of her skirt. "I-I've been busy," she said, her voice small.Her mother tilted her head, a thin smile curling her lips. "Busy, yes. Clearly." Her eyes swept over the crowd, the dragons, and the festive decorations, and I got the distinct impression that she was looking for imperfections. "Though I can't say I expected you to be involved in something like this. My, to think that our little runaway daughter would make friends in such high places."The man beside her—Awen's father, I guessed, he did look a little like Abraham, but taller and reedier—gave a low hum, his sharp gaze flicking between Awen and her mother. "We had wondered, Awen, whether you'd gone so far astray as to forget where you came from." His tone was calm, even pleasant, but the words landed like icy little daggers.Awen flinched again, her shoulders drawing up slightly. "I-I haven't forgotten," she said quickly, though the words sounded more like a defence than a statement.I felt my ears twitch with irritation, and before I could stop myself, I stepped toward them. "She's been busy making a difference," I said, my voice bright but firm. "Awen's been amazing. Honestly, this wedding wouldn't have come together without her. She's organised so much and helped everyone stay on track—even the dragons! Hi! I'm Broccoli! We've met!"Awen's mom narrowed her eyes. "You're the one who kidnapped our daughter.""Only technically!" I defended myself. I wrapped an arm around Awen's shoulder, because she looked like she needed a hug, but I wasn't sure if she wanted it to be too obvious.Her narrowed eyes didn't soften. If anything, they became sharper. "And yet, she left without a word. Ran away from her responsibilities, her family, her future."Not her future, I didn't say. Your future.Awen's shoulders sagged, and I could see her shrinking under her mother's gaze. Her father stood quietly, his expression unreadable, like he was observing rather than participating. My hackles rose. This wasn't fair—not to Awen, and definitely not to everything she'd accomplished since leaving."Awen didn't run away," I said, stepping in front of her protectively. My ears flicked with determination. "She set out to find her own path. And she's done an incredible job of it. She's brave, resourceful, and kind. Honestly, she's probably accomplished more than most people twice her age.""Broccoli," Awen said quietly. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to stop, or if she was happy that I'd stepped up to defend her. Maybe it was both?There was a clearing of a throat, and all of us froze for a moment before turning to discover Booksie walking over with Caprica by her side, and Rhawr's head hovering above. "May I help you?" she asked.I had to wonder if marrying a dragon lent some of their intimidation abilities, because I felt like shivering in my shoes a little.
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Chapter Five Hundred and Eighteen — Post I-Dos
Chapter Five Hundred and Eighteen — Post I-Dos Awen's mom looked between Awen and me, then Booksie and Rhawr above her. Her little tongue slipped out between her lips, wetting them like a mouse poking its head out of a hole only to notice a lion waiting for it. "Perhaps we can have this conversation somewhere a little more private?"I was ready to jump in, but I saw the way Awen straightened her spine. She took a deep breath, and I could almost see the moment she decided that she had had enough. "No Mother.""Pardon?" her mom asked."I said no, Mother," Awen replied, her voice growing a little more confident, a little louder. "You're the one who decided to start and make this a spectacle. What are you even doing here?""We're here on behalf of Mattergrove, and to ask my brother about you," her father said."Oh? Well then, I imagine it'll be a great look for Mattergrove when word gets out that two nobles from such a ... such a backwater nearly ruined the wedding of the decade."I held back a giggle. It looked like Awen's Mom had just bitten into an entire lemon for a moment there. I don't think Awen actually believed Mattergrove to be a backwater. It was a lot more likely that she just wanted to say something to get under her parents' skin."Are these your parents, Awen?" Booksie asked. "Please, introduce us?""Of course," Awen said. She bowed slightly and shifted to the side with courtly decorum. "Mother, Father, this is Catherine Cabbage, owner of the finest reading establishment in all of Port Royal and a dear friend of mine."Booksie smiled. "Awen was there when Rhawr and I met. She takes some of the credit for bringing us together.""Indeed," Rhawr rumbled."And of course, our dear Booksie's husband, Rhawrexdee. He Who Smote the Clouds Themselves. The Thunder Hammer. The Scourge of the Northern Desert. Booksie's Beau." Booksie giggled at the last and Awen flashed her a smile. "Ah, and my fellow bridesmaids. This is Captain Broccoli Bunch, whom you've met of course. She's a member of the Exploration Guild, and... and a whole lot more. And this is Caprica."I glanced to the side to see Caprica heading over, obviously curious about what was going on. "Hello," she said with a slight inclination of her head. "I am, in fact, Caprica.""A sylph," Awen's mom said. I think she was trying hard to find something inoffensive to focus on."Indeed, cousin," Caprica said."Cousin?" Awen's dad asked. "Ah, you're nobility as well!" He put on a genial, bright smile. "I'm afraid I didn't catch your family name.""Sylph," Caprica said."Your family name is ... Sylph?" He frowned. "That's a strange name for ... wait ..." he trailed off, his face paling."It doesn't conform to the usual family name convention, does it?" Caprica noted, her smile perfectly level. "But then, my great-grandfather chose it specifically to exemplify our place in slyph society."Awen cleared her throat. "Caprica is the daughter of King Sylph of Slyphfree," she stated matter-of-factly."Ah," her father said faintly.Awen straightened her back, her hands clasping neatly in front of her. She was the picture of calm and poise. Her mom's lips pressed thin, her dad was still blinking at Caprica's royal status, and Awen's voice slipped into the space their silence left."Mother, Father," she began. "Since I left Mattergrove, I've had time to see just how big the world truly is. It's much larger, much more wondrous, than I ever imagined it could be. Uncle Abraham's stories hinted at it, of course, but being out here, seeing it for myself... it's something else entirely.""Awen-" her mother began.Awen continued, trampling over any objections. "I've found people who care for me as I am. Who respect me for what I can do. Not for the expectations placed on me, or the name I carry. I've found my place, and I'm happy.""That's... acceptable," her Mother said. "Many young nobles travel a little to discover the world, you can always return-"Awen's eyes narrowed. "Tell my brothers that I said 'hi.' I'll write to them soon. And if the day comes when I decide to marry, to settle down, you'll hear from me." Awen bowed very slightly in their direction, spun on a heel, then walked off.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.There was a long pause as her words hung in the air. Her parents looked at her back as if they expected her to turn around at any moment and run back. She didn't. Her mother opened her mouth, then closed it, clearly struggling to find something to say. Her father cleared his throat awkwardly and nodded, though his expression was tight."Well," her mother finally managed, her voice thin but polite. She bowed towards Booksie. "Beautiful wedding. I wish you a happy life." She turned and stomped off. Awen's dad said some things really quickly, the usual sort of platitudes, but he was quick to run off after his wife."Humans are such strange things," Rhawr rumbled. "So boney.""Sweetie, it's not fair to judge a person by the crunchiness of their body," Booksie said."I'm going to go talk to Awen," I said, only to discover a hand on my shoulder. Caprica's."I'll do it," Caprica said. "You're her best friend, I know, so you should be there for her later when she's worked out her anger and needs a good cry, but when it comes to matters of nobility such as this, I believe I am the more experienced and better-placed of us to handle it."I hesitated. A big part of me wanted to be the one to hug Awen better, but Awen didn't look too sad at the moment. Maybe she really did need to talk through it, and I wasn't always the best at that. My advice was probably not going to be too helpful. "Okay," I said.I had to trust my friends to take care of my other friends. And besides, it wasn't like I wasn't going to give Awen as many hugs as she could handle later. She'd been so cool! I bet her parents barely recognized her from the way she used to be, in a good way."Broccoli, would you mind checking on the other guests?" Booksie asked. "I think we have to mingle around for a bit more.""Okay," I said with a grin. "Should I go see the dragons?"Rhawr hummed. "I've been avoiding seeing my mother, you may as well go and distract her.""You've been avoiding your mom?" I asked with a gasp."She is crying! It is unbecoming." Rhawr turned his head away, as if he was refusing to look in his mom's direction at all.Booksie leaned in close and whispered. "When he sees his mom crying, he starts crying too. And he doesn't want to in front of all his cousins.""Ah," I said with a nod. Rhawr was a softy.I gave her a quick, careful hug, then moved towards the dragons. Cholondee and Rhawr's mom were off to one side, the younger of the two rubbing her mom's back as the huge dragoness wiped the tears away.I decided not to interfere with that for a moment. It was a happy sort of crying, but it was still a lot.Of the gathered dragons, most were chatting between themselves while cowed grenoil brought wheelbarrows filled with snacks over for them to pick at. One dragon stood apart a little, though. While most of them were metallic golds and bronzes, one was a stark, gleaming white, like freshly fallen snow.I bounced up, a bright smile plastered on my face, and waved as I approached. "Hello! Are you all enjoying the wedding?""You are small," the white dragon said. Their voice was light and airy, almost like a whisper carried by the wind. "And not a dragon, but you are..." They sniffed at me, and I had to hold back a giggle at the sensation. They weren't much bigger than some of the wyverns I'd ridden in Sylphfree. "A riftwalker and a bridegroom. Strange, strange.""It's a pleasure to meet you," I said with a curtsy. "I'm Broccoli Bunch!""Char Ret Undahscor Charet," the white dragon said with a dip of... her head? I think it was a she. Girl dragons had a bit of a thinner face and were more plump around the middle. I was getting better at telling dragons apart!"That's quite the name," I said. "Are you enjoying the wedding so far?"The white dragon scanned the crowds and then Rhawr and Booksie. "It is strange. I have not spent very many years so close to... non-dragons. Except for my food, I keep away from most.""I see," I saidA nearby dragon leaned over. "You'll regret encouraging them. Char Ret hasn't flown off their mountaintop in centuries. They don't understand how the world works anymore.""That's okay," I said. "I have a friend that was in a similar situation, and I think that they've overcome a lot of their problems by stepping outside a little and seeing the world."
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Chapter Five Hundred and Nineteen — Something Wicked
Chapter Five Hundred and Nineteen — Something Wicked I kept moving around the reception while keeping an eye on Booksie and Rhawr. There were a few awkward moments where people with more guts than common sense overstayed their welcome around the couple. And of course, Booksie and Rhawr eventually approached his mom.There was a lot of wailing and the huge dragoness started to pamper her 'little baby,' which had Booksie giggling and Rhawr flushing so much his scales went purple. The other dragons laughing at him in the background didn't improve things for him, but it was mostly just cute and his mom was very proud of him.I kind of got it. It was embarrassing for a boy to get their mom all gushy like that, but there was no reason to be humiliated about it!Hanging around the dragons somehow became my job. I went around introducing myself, and I think being both the bridesmaid and smelling like a Riftwalker to dragons earned me some level of respect. More than the poor guards trying to keep the dragons contained in one area were getting.The dragons mostly viewed people who weren't dragons as potential snacks. I had to step in and explain that no, the grenoil with the large cheese platters weren't part of the after-wedding snack buffet, just the platter. No, not the actual metal platters, the cheese on them.A few plates were sacrificed in the name of keeping the dragons appeased, and I think that I saw Amaryllis shouting at someone in the back, telling them to raid the nearest butcher's shop or else they'd be on the next platter.I might have misunderstood that one. At least, I hoped so. I thought that maybe Amaryllis was becoming a little less mean with time, but maybe stress had a way to pull that back up? I'd give her plenty of extra attention once the wedding was done and over with.Speaking of which, after the post I-do's reception, it was time for some lunch. That was probably for the best, because watching the dragons eat the cheese platters and also the cheese was making me hungry, and I was feeling a little faint after standing out all day.The crowds dispersed and Booksie made her way over to the pedestal to one side where she used the slight elevation to climb up onto Rhawr's back. The crowd 'ooohed' as she waved from atop his neck, then Rhawr gave them all a deep roar and took off.I don't think the crowd heard Booksie's happy laugh as they took to the skies.A moment later, the other dragons took off after them, and I felt my shoulders slumping."Ah, are you okay?" Awen asked as she walked over to stand by my side.I smiled. "I am! I should be asking you that, no?"Awen smiled herself. "I'm okay, Broccoli.""Are you sure?" I asked. I didn't want to be pushy... well, I wanted to be a little pushy, but just to make sure that Awen was feeling good. "I wasn't expecting to see your parents today."Awen shrugged. "You know, I was actually surprised to see them? I actually thought they might show up, if they could, then I guess I decided that it wasn't likely and put it out of my mind.""Really?" I asked.She nodded. "Yeah. This kind of event is the kind of thing that my parents love. My mom especially.""Weddings?" I asked. Was it the romance of it... or the free cake?Awen shrugged. "Weddings, funerals, coronations, any large event where lots of politically important people gather. My mom is very... keen about nobility. She's the third daughter of a baron. I think that makes her... barely a noble at all. I think it took being away from her for a while for me to realize that what she really wanted of me was someone who'd help her climb higher up. The mother of the queen would be the kind of title she'd die for.""Ah," I said. "So this wedding?""A good way for her to meet nobility from beyond the borders of Mattergrove, and being here means she'll have a fantastic story to share with all of her noble lady friends." Awen sighed and leaned to the side so that her shoulder bumped into mine. I leaned my head down onto hers. "My mom probably insisted that they come here. It's not so far from home, I guess. A few days by airship. Dad probably came so that he could poke at Uncle Abraham. Maybe even about where I was.""Do you think they'll cause any trouble?" I asked. They were Awen's parents. Maybe they could go to the Port Royal guard and say that she was kidnapped or something?Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on."No, I don't think so. I've made friends in high places, which is something that my mom actually respects."I laughed. "Am I a friend in high places?" I asked."You're a friend, regardless of what kind of place you're in," Awen said. Well, if that didn't deserve a hug, nothing did! "Broc! You'll muss up my dress!""The wedding's over!" I said. "Well, mostly. We've got that dinner thing, but I think that's mostly us sitting around and keeping Booksie company while the dragons eat heaps." I grimaced. "I'm not sure I have enough mana to keep up the cleaning."Dragons didn't have good table manners.I noticed Caprica heading over, as well as a slightly-dishevelled Amaryllis. "Whatever Booksie is paying us for this, I want double," she said."She's not paying us, though," I said.Amaryllis' eyes narrowed. "I've gotten too soft spending time with you lot. A year ago I'd have her broke for the services I rendered today. That couple would owe me their firstborn."There was a snort as Calamity came over, trailed by Desiree. "That's sounding a lil' villainous there," he said."I know what my work is worth. Have you ever tried to corral a group of dragons? I don't know which were worse. Those that have about as much brains between their scaly ears as Broccoli here, or the old wise sorts that think that just because they're a thousand years old they know everything.""I think it went well," I said."I had to threaten a lot of people," Amaryllis said. "But yes, overall it went well. I think that the city will remember this event for a few years, at least. And it'll be a historical footnote for longer still."I giggled. "I hope people remember fun events like this better than as just a footnote.""Then your hope is, once again, misplaced," Amaryllis said."Ah, forgive me for becoming the bearer of ill tidings," Desiree said. "But I do come with some bad news."We all turned her way. Had one of the guests gotten ill? Or was there a problem with the city? Traffic accident at the entrance to the square. Housefires. Sewage main burst just up the road. Antidragon riot. Surprise royal audit. Airship crashed into Cholondee's mansion. Avalanche buried the mage's guild. Coup attempt... but no, Desiree had been helping behind the scenes. I think she was in helping the guards and the Exploration Guild and the Mages guild work together. The three groups sometimes butted heads, so we needed a few friends to act as middlepeople."Just moments ago, one of our sharp-eyed mages alerted my august personage to an issue with one of the gifts," she said."People left gifts?" I asked."It's a wedding, of course they did," Amaryllis snapped. "We have two areas for them, one for the nobles as they arrived, and another off over there, where people could deposit gifts for the bride and groom.""Indeed," Desiree said with a nod. "Our watchful guards are posted 'round the gifts, taking great pains to ensure that no one suffers from a lapse of sanity and attempts to rob a dragon.""We wouldn't want any thieves to get eaten," I agreed."Thankfully, none of the gifts bear any maledictions. However, one of them does claim to have been sent by that scoundrel, that black-hearted villain, that dastardly mastermind of my own imprisonment, Sir Rainnewt."I tensed, and so did all of my friends.We'd been expecting an attack of some sort, but for Rainnewt to send a gift... was honestly just kind of weird. First, because he didn't seem like the gift-giving sort, but second because if he did send something, then there was sure to be some ulterior motive to it."What did he send?" I asked. I was almost afraid to find out. "Is it a bomb?"Desiree though, only shrugged, then she gestured as if holding a small-ish box, maybe larger than a shoebox. "The mysterious package is of small stature, and has no magical signature. It weighs relatively little as well.""So, nothing enchanted," Amaryllis said. "Or else, something very well-enchanted.""It could still be a bomb," Awen said. "He's used those before, and you can make them without magic."I swallowed. "Whatever it is, I think we're going to need to go check it. Maybe with a bit of help though. It's better to be safe, right?"
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Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty — Mystery Box
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty — Mystery Box "Do you have any idea how little mana I have left?" the man groused.Sometimes it wasn't hard to sense that someone didn't want to be very helpful. Like this guy. We had met him just outside the Property Deed Archive — the building Booksie and I had been holed up in while we waited for the wedding to start. Apparently, it had been commandeered as a warehouse for wedding presents. All the desks in the communal office had been shoved aside and all the gifts had been piled up in a heap.The room was now split pretty much down the middle. To one side, the gifts, to the other, the gift."I can hold on to this shield forever, it's costing me less mana to upkeep than my regeneration rate, but it's also requiring a lot of focus, and I'm only contracted to work for another hour," the man said.He was a rather short grenoil wearing a reddish robe with a rather small wizard's hat plopped atop his head. The badges pinned to the front of his robes marked him as an active member of the Mages Guild, which was probably why he was here maintaining a magical shield around Rainnewt's likely-very-bad gift."I'm aware of the inconvenience," Amaryllis said. She didn't sound all that sincere, or apologetic, but she was trying. "This situation is exactly why the Guild was hired as part of the security for this event.""You expected this?" the grenoil wizard asked, or maybe accused."We took appropriate measures to ensure that if something like this happened, sufficient security would be in place to prevent any malfeasance," Amaryllis replied rather tersely."I'm sorry that you have to keep that shield up," I said lightly. The shield was a sort of half-dome, stretching across the room and slipping under a box atop which the gift sat. It hummed, even in my limited magical senses.I couldn't tell exactly how much mana the wizard was pouring into it, but it felt like a lot. I could only barely see through the shield, and it looked like it might actually be several thinner shields layered atop each other, each one a tightly woven net of mana, like glowing wires worked into a complex pattern."Did you want us to get you anything? There's stalls outside with like, cakes and snacks? Maybe something to drink?"The wizard eyed me, but then he shrugged. "I wouldn't say no to a glass of something," he said.I didn't end up having to fetch that. As it turned out, the maybe-a-bomb had attracted a lot of attention, and there were a couple of members of the Exploration Guild here, as well as a guard captain and some people from the city. Amaryllis and I, as well as Desiree, were the only members of our group here. The others were waiting outside. Caprica wanted to be here, but her own guards almost had kittens when they found out. Calamity and Awen were keeping her company for now.Amaryllis leaned in closer to me. "We barely have this situation under control, and that's only because we have momentum. We need to come up with a solution and quickly, before this turns into a committee and then we'll never get to the bottom of anything.""Okay," I muttered back as I tried to keep my own voice low. "So, what do we do, then?""I daresay we ought to investigate how dangerous the box actually is," Desiree replied.Amaryllis nodded. "Good idea. Afterwards... I do have some talent with magical strings. I could manoeuvre some closer and open the box from afar, without disrupting the shield.""Will the shield be enough?" I asked."Hmm, fair point. Broccoli, go tell Caprica to find more members of the Mages Guild, someone more senior. We'll double it up first. Desiree, you're with me. There might be guards and some members of the Exploration Guild with decent sensory abilities that'll be able to tell us what's in that box without poking at it.""Got it!" I cheered before darting out of the room. Even though there were lots of people starting to mill around, they let me pass without any trouble. In cases like these, a bun in motion wasn't to be interrupted, especially if she looked like she knew what she was doing!It took a minute to explain to Caprica that we needed more shield-makers from the Mage's Guild, but she was soon nodding quickly and ready to leap off and fly to find whoever was in charge of the guild.The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.I darted back in, my bridesmaid outfit as good as a permission slip when it came to allowing me into the room, and then... I had to wait, like everyone else.Eventually a wizard with a larger, more decorated hat who smelled like soot and smoke came in, and she cast a second layer of magic over the shield. It didn't waver nearly as much, and I could tell at a glance that the mana making it up was thicker and stronger.Amaryllis and Desiree had managed to find some sensory specialists, so with the shield suitably strengthened, they got to work.A few guards had neat skills that allowed them to tell how illegal something might be at a glance, which was... kind of a strange skill to have, but it seemed uncommon, something reserved for guards who had a guard-class for a long time.Unfortunately, they reported that the box had nothing going on, which might mean it was empty. Or that what was inside was disguised with magic that could counter their skill.The Exploration Guild tried next. One had a sort of x-ray vision. He said the box had a book in it, as well as something mechanical that he couldn't decipher, some flowers, and a letter.That was a surprisingly complex list of things."The book could be fake, a way to hide some explosives, and the mechanical device could be the trigger for it," Amaryllis said. "We'd have to have the insides drawn out in some detail and show it to Awen.""I don't know," I said. "If it's a bomb, why send a letter and flowers? They'd just get blown up!""As a decoy, obviously. I don't think we should risk opening it, in any case," Amaryllis said. "The wise thing to do would be to burn the entire thing within the shield. We have a few people here with skills that could manage it.""Would that set a bomb off?" I asked."Not necessarily," Amaryllis said. "And we have capable mages here who could funnel the explosion away. People will just think it's another firework."I twitched my ears a little. There were still some firecrackers and such going off. In fact, the entire city seemed to be in a party mood. Another pop wouldn't be noticed... but I still didn't think it was right."If they can funnel out the fire and an explosion, then there's no reason we shouldn't open the box carefully from afar," I said. "We still don't know if it's a bomb for real."Amaryllis grumbled, but then she nodded. "Let me talk to a few people and get things coordinated."It took another half hour, a rather boring one, but by the end of it we had a plan in place, if a simple one. Amaryllis crouched down next to the double shield, a pair of Exploration Guild members flanking her. They both had neat skills that would let them tank any incoming damage for an ally, and were a lot tougher than either of us. The rest of the people in the room were pushed back to behind a third shield, kept up by a junior member of the Mages Guild.Amaryllis carefully stretched her magic out into a long sort of wire, then she pushed it through the magical shields. They snaked and waved about, then moved gently forwards and towards the box.I found myself chewing on the tip of an ear as her magic reached the gift and plucked the ribbon off the top. It came apart, and then Amaryllis had to carefully move her magic wires to tug the wrapping off of the back, peeling it away until she could get at the box itself.It opened and... nothing much happened.There was a bit of nervous laughter. But we weren't in the clear yet.Amaryllis stretched her fingers, then dipped her wires into the box and wrapped them around the mechanical device.She smoothly gestured upward, and it came out cleanly. Her wires set the device down on the floor."That's... a clock," I said."Looks like it," Amaryllis replied.One by one, she pulled everything out until each item was laying on the ground separated from the rest, then she pulled her mana back. "Looks like... that clock, a letter, a book, and some slightly dried out flowers," Amaryllis said.Desiree frowned. "Does Rainnewt yet toy with us? What possible reason could that scoundrel have for gifting such ordinary items?""I don't know," I said. "But I bet that letter will tell us."I was so curious to read it that I was almost tingling.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-One — Time and Bride Wait for No Bun
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-One — Time and Bride Wait for No Bun It took half an hour, but eventually it was determined that none of the contents of the box were dangerous. Well, not dangerous in any sort of obvious way.We were still in the office of the Property Deed Archive. In front of us, on the table, the contents of Rainnewt's gift were laid out like the evidence of a crime. Amaryllis had been right earlier when she listed everything out.There was a letter, a clock, a book, and a small bouquet of flowers."So... what do we start with?" I asked."I believe it best that we start with the letter," Desiree replied. "It seems as though it's addressed to you, captain."I chewed on my lip, because she wasn't wrong. The letter wasn't in an envelope; it was just a single sheet of thick, soft paper, folded into thirds and sealed shut with a dollop of wax. The other had 'To Bunch' written on it in a quick cursive font."May I?" Caprica asked. I gestured, and she carefully plucked the letter from the table, turning it this way and that. "This vellum's from the Trenton Flats," she said."Huh." I peered at it. "How can you tell?""They make the best vellum in the known world," Caprica explained. "The hides of Trentonian sheep are well-suited for it, and their crafters have unparalleled skill in its manufacture." She paused. "But unfortunately, it doesn't mean much. The Trenten flats export this to everyone in the region. I'm sure you could buy something similar here in Port Royal. The ink... seems like normal ink to me." The princess shook her head and flipped the letter over before presenting it to me."Thanks," I said. I shot a burst of Cleaning magic through the letter. I'd heard stories about poisons and stuff before, and while no one had found anything... well, I wouldn't put it past Rainnewt to discover some whole new kind of poison. That seemed like the kind of person he was.Pinching my tongue between my lips, I popped the seal off the letter, then carefully unfolded it. The page was mostly empty, with only a few short paragraphs of dense, somewhat sloppy handwriting.Dearest Broccoli,I hope this letter finds you well. I imagined that you and your companions would be around for the wedding, and once I confirmed your presence I decided to postpone any plans I had with regards to the local dragons.It seems unwise to provoke them in any case. Combatting one of them would be a monumental task. So many at once would be foolish, and I would like to think of myself as not too foolish.In any case, enjoy the wedding.Enclosed are a few small gifts. Flowers and a book for the bride, and a clock for you. It's counting down to something special. The book is a hint, and perhaps the flowers are as well.Good luck, fellow Earthling!-RainnewtI tilted the letter so that my friends could read it, then when it started to get a little crowded, I just handed it over to Amaryllis. She squinted at it for a moment, then leveled a flat stare at me. "I have no idea what this says," she said."Huh? Oh, it's in English?" I asked. The letters were... well, English."It's in an ugly, blocky text, yes," Amaryllis said.I laughed. "I think that's just Rainnewt's handwriting. It's a little ugly, but I guess he's never used a quill before." I cleared my throat and read the letter aloud so that everyone was on the same page.Calamity was the first to speak when I reached the end. "Guy's full of himself.""He's an ass," Amaryllis agreed.I glanced over to the others to see their reactions, then noticed that Awen was poking at the clock. "Did you find something?" I asked."Well, it's like the letter said," Awen mused. "It's not a clock in the ... traditional sense. It's a timer."We all crowded closer to get a better look. The face of the timer had three hands — one hand moved at the speed of a second hand, although it ran in reverse. The other two were sized like a minute and an hour hand, and as I watched as carefully as I could, I saw that the minute hand was also slowly rotating backwards.Rather than being numbered one through twelve, the face was numbered zero through twenty-four. I guess that made sense, but it definitely threw me for a moment. A smaller circle within had twelve marks, starting with a ten at the top right and ending with sixty at the top-top.So, the big hand marked out hours, twenty-four of them, and the smaller hand was for the minutes in the hour?This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.Below the hands were two concentric rings, each numbered zero through nine. They looked like they were meant to rotate, but I couldn't tell if they were moving at all.Amaryllis rubbed her chin. "If the hands tell us how many seconds, minutes, and hours are left, then those small dials must indicate the remaining number of days," she reasoned."One, seven," I read off. "Seventeen days remaining. Plus... seventeen hours, five minutes, and ... nine seconds. Oh, only eight seconds, now. Seven seconds. Six seco-"Amaryllis bopped me on the head and I giggled."So it's counting down to something," Caprica crossed her arms. "Any chance it's counting down to a good thing, for once?""It doesn't say," I said."What's the book about?" Amaryllis asked. "He's obviously laying out some sort of puzzle here... For some reason. This doesn't seem like him. Why a puzzle when he's been rather direct, if secretive, before?"Awen was shooting curious looks at the timer, so I handed it back to her and picked up the book. It was filled with... words. There were a few illustrations as well, though. Strange watercoloured images of knights and pretty forests and even some dragons.Opening it up to its first pages, I found the title page. Tales of the Black Avatars. There was an image below that of five knights in black armour, each one a little different. One was human, another looked taller and lankier, there was a grenoil as well and a cervid and even a sylph. The designs were rather cartoony, with the proportions exaggerated. They were standing on a field of little flowers; it made their all-black armour a little less intimidating."Do you recognize this?" I asked."Huh," Calamity said. "I do.""As do I," Desiree replied.Amaryllis stared, then nodded slowly. "I think most people will know of this. If only as legends and children's stories.""Do you think that maybe Rainnewt has decided to give up on his life of crime and decided to become a children's book author and that the countdown is to his first release?" I asked hopefully."That's wishful even for you," Caprica said. "I'm not aware of these stories. Though I'm not too surprised, I doubt the harpy read Sophia the Sweet-tooth to their children.""We have our own set of fairy tales and childrens' stories," Amaryllis said with a nod. "The tales of the Black Avatars is old however. More like something my parents would have been told. What's more curious is that you recognize them." She turned towards Desiree and eyed the fox girl up and down.Desiree's tails flicked. "Is it so strange? We don't treat the Black Avatars as children's stories so much as we treat them as legends. We have temples in their name, and a large library as well. Ah, yes, and there's an order of swordsmen that wear all-black and try to match them.""That's a little more involved than what I remember," Calamity said. "I mostly remember the stories of Black Cat the Black Avatar. He was a princely thief and troublemaker, and he got into all sorts of scraps."I turned towards Awen. "Were there any stories like that around Mattergrove?" I asked."Um, I think so? But they were boy stories," she said."Boy stories?" I asked."Fairytales for boys, so that they grow up to be noble knights. Most of my stories were about princesses and friendly wildland animals." Awen shrugged. "I overheard some of the other stories, but never paid them, ah, that much attention."I looked down at the book and flipped it forwards. There was a note from the author, just a couple of paragraphs explaining that they'd gone around the lower end of the continent-so Mattergrove, Deepmarsh and the Trenten Flats-and collected several stories about the Black Avatars into a single book which was then illustrated."I think we'll have to show this one to Booksie," I said."The wedding has wrapped up by now," Caprica said. "She might be wondering where her bridesmaids are.""Ah! You're right! We wasted so much time with this," I said. "Desiree, can you find anything out about these flowers? Awen, let's go make sure this wedding ends on a high note for Booksie, and then... well, whatever Rainnewt is stirring up, I'm sure it can wait a day.""Are you sure?" Amaryllis asked."Yeah! Bad people only deserve as much attention as you need to keep them from being bad enough to ruin your day. At least, sometimes," I said with a nod.Whatever Rainnewt tossed our way, we'd be up to fixing it, I was sure.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Two — A New Chapter in Your Life
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Two — A New Chapter in Your Life "Booksie!" I cheered, though I tried not to be too loud about it.I met the Bun out by the side of a large warehouse that Amaryllis had rented out and emptied for the occasion. It wasn't the prettiest building, but it was one of the only ones in the entire city large enough to accommodate dragons, with enormous doors all along one side of the building.Right now, it was set up as more of an open pavilion than a warehouse of any sort. There were draperies all over and a good chunk of money had been spent repainting the entire space.I was pretty sure the city had even cleaned out the area around here, making it prettier to look at. It helped, because this wasn't in the nicest parts of Port Royal.Peeking past Booksie, I could make out half a dozen dragons, some with their heads partially in the warehouse-turned-reception hall, others gathered outside. They were snacking on half-loaves of bread and wheels of cheese."Hi Broccoli," Booksie said. She smiled, then opened her arms for a hug. "Come on, I need some energy.""Aww!" I said before returning the hug. "Is everything okay? I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help with the reception.""Oh, it's fine," Booksie said. "Well ... mostly fine. A smaller dragon went overboard with the wine — by the fourth cask they were very drunk. Oh, and Cholondee either has a crush on — or wants to fight — one of the guests. And one of the chefs fainted when a dragon tried to complement his cooking."I blinked. "Why?"Booksie looked a bit embarrassed. "The dragon may've gotten a bit too enthusiastic. And leaned in too close. While showing too many teeth." She paused. "But otherwise, things have been pretty calm"I gave her a last squeeze before letting the hug go. Booksie looked fine, other than looking like she had had a long day. The cosmetic magic layered on her was still making her glow, and she'd never been prettier. Booksie smiled, and I saw her gently touch the ring carefully placed on her finger."Where's Rhawr?" I asked."Oh, he's chaperoning his mom back home. I don't think he wanted to leave me here, but... well, she also got into the wine. I didn't know that dragons could even get drunk. She's very weepy when inebriated, you know?"I placed a hand over my mouth to keep the giggles in. "No! She was crying a bunch during the wedding.""I saw! I think it's sweet. She's very proud of her, ah, little baby boy." Booksie grinned, and I think she'd just gotten her hands on some good teasing material. "He should be back in a few. He said he was going to make sure she was nestled in her hoard correctly before returning.""Good, good," I said with a happy sigh. The sky was already turning the darker blue of incoming night. The day wasn't over yet, but... well, my feet were kind of ache-y and I could definitely use a nap."So... I didn't get the full story, but I did notice the people working security getting nervous, and then you ran off with Awen and the others for a while. What happened?" Booksie asked."Oh, sorry. We didn't want to worry you," I said."It's fine. I'm assuming whatever it was is taken care of?""More or less." I shifted a bit. "So, you know Rainnewt?""Did he show up? Rhawr promised he'd take a nibble out of him if he tried to ruin the day," Booksie said. The way her eyes narrowed, I was more worried that she might do more than just nibble the man.I shook my head, then paused. "Uh, sorta? He sent a gift. A letter, a countdown timer, and a book. I'll show you the book later, I guess. You might be able to tell what it's all about.""That's... not ideal. Did he leave a return address, perchance?" Booksie asked sweetly. I think she might have sent more than just a strongly-worded letter back."No, nothing like that. Too bad too. We'll have to look at the book later, but apparently it has something to do with Black Avatars?""Like the fairy tales?" Booksie asked.I shrugged. "Maybe? I don't have a good background to know what the fairy tales around here are like."Booksie nodded along at that. "I suppose not. Still, I can't imagine he's up to any good, but I'm happy that he didn't show up himself to cause trouble. Unless this was the precursor to even worse news?""Nope!" I said. "That was it. I think the Mages Guild and the Exploration Guild got a bit spooked about the gift, the guard too, but that was mostly them being worried about some sort of attack. But... nothing happened?"Booksie's shoulders slumped. "Good. Good. I think the worst that'll happen from all of this is maybe some dragons returning home with strange ideas and Rhawr's mother... my mother-in-law waking up with a draconic hangover."I giggled. "I guess that's not the worst outcome for such a big wedding!""No, I suppose it really isn't," Booksie said. She smiled, then pulled me into another hug. I certainly didn't fight it. "Thank you, Broccoli. I think we can call this wedding a success.""Yeah!" I said.And then, as if the world had heard Booksie calling it done, I got a ping.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun Bun class has reached level 18!Health + 5Resilience +5You have gained: One Class PointBing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 7!Mana +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point"Wha! I got two level ups!" I said.Booksie laughed. "I got some the moment I gave Rhawr a kiss on stage! It's normal to get a level after such a big event, I think! I guess your helping so much counts for a lot, and now that it's complete you're reaping the rewards!""Neat!" I said. Level eighteen! And seven too! That was... five total levels away from hitting the threshold I'd need to unlock a third class. That was huge! There were only maybe one in a hundred people in a city like Port Royal who had a third class, and most of those were experts and older people with long careers.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation."Come on, you can check your new stats while I go find some leftovers. I've been holding back on eating too much all day, and now I'm starving," Booksie said."Not eating isn't healthy," I said automatically."Yes, but the embarrassment of appearing bloated under this dress would be worse than waiting a bit before snacking. At this point though, I don't care anymore," she replied as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the warehouse-turned-dining hall.I laughed and allowed her to tug me along. I did poke Mister Menu with my mind to see what was up, though.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
18
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
7
Age
16
Health
165
Stamina
185
Mana
170
Resilience
80
Flexibility
95
Magic
40
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 28%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 59%
Adorable
D — 100%
Chivalry
E — 87%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 43%
Social Butterfly
D — 100%
Snoozing
D — 86%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 100%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 100%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
C — 100%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
5
Wonderlander Skill Points
7
General Skill Points
6
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
4
"Anything good?" Booksie asked."I'm getting close to a new Wonderlander skill," I said. "And soon I'll have a third class! We did so many dungeons that I don't even remember all of the options I've got! But it's a heap!""That's fantastic," Booksie said. "I'm just worried that you might need that power up sooner rather than later.""Why do you say that? Because of Rainnewt?" I asked. We moved to the back of the room where a long table was stacked with the remains of finger foods of all sorts.Booksie nodded along while plucking up some tiny tomato things on skewers with cheese balls. "Exactly. That, or some other troubles. You and your friends have been in the limelight for a while now. That means lots of attention, good and ill. The stronger you appear, the more people will hesitate to poke at you, but also, the more they will feel like they must poke at you. That's an important lesson that I picked up from all the dragons.""I guess they'd know," I said. "I don't know about impressing people. I'm just happy that I've made good friends, that I get to go on big adventures, and that I get to see the world. Numbers going up is nice, but it's not what I want to live for."Booksie smiled. "That's okay too. In fact, that might be a better way to enjoy things."I nodded. I thought it might be. But then, what did I know? I was just a silly, happy bun.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Three — Looking a Gift Book in the Mouth
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Three — Looking a Gift Book in the Mouth The morning after the wedding found everyone in a state of incredible exhaustion.I think it was only an hour short of noon before I managed to claw my way to wakefulness, sitting up on the edge of the bed and blearily glancing around my cabin aboard the Beaver Cleaver.It was some time later that I managed to trudge my way down to the kitchen. "Hungry," I complained as I slumped into a chair and then just stared across the room.Calamity was at the stove, poking at something with the energy of a cat who was done playing with its prey and just wanted it to move. It looked like he was making oatmeal or something. Boiled milk and oats, with some granola for texture. Not exactly the fanciest of foods... but I really wanted it."You get your turn after me," Amaryllis snapped. She was in another of the dining area's chairs, wings crossed and face set in a birdy frown. Amaryllis was still in her PJs, a big fluffy shirt with little flowers embroidered at the hems and loose pants that matched."Shouldn't the captain get first dibs?" Calamity asked.Amaryllis narrowed her eyes. "... No," she finally said.I slumped a little more. "But I'm hungry?""There's enough for everyone. If you wanted to eat first, then you could get up earlier.""Betrayal! Betrayal from my..." I yawned. "...From my own bestest friend!"Amaryllis rolled her eyes betrayingly.One by one, more of the crew trickled in. Awen came in, still wrapped in a big blanket and stifling a yawn, and Desiree followed after her, casually brushing one of her fox tails out. She looked the most prepared for a normal day out on the town."Is Caprica okay?" I asked.Awen shrugged, then yawned again. "Maybe?"Well, I'd go check on her then... after breakfast. Booksie's wedding had been a whole thing and now that it was over, it felt like a decade's worth of stress was lifted off my shoulders all at once. I couldn't imagine what it was like for Booksie, the star of the show.Calamity came around with grub, which we were quick to improve by cutting up some fruit and adding a few little bits of that kind of hard chocolate that travelled well. It didn't taste great, but hunger was a good spice for just about anything.Eventually Caprica joined us, looked just a smidge frazzled, but judging by the way she sniffed at the air, that didn't matter as much. "I can't believe I slept in so late," she complained as she sat down. "My teachers would be upset to learn that I've let my discipline slip so much.""It's okay," I assured her. "We had a long day."Desiree nodded along as she tugged a brush through her tail a final few times. "Indeed. One of the longest in my life. However, I have no doubt that as the stress and unpleasantness fades from our thoughts, the remaining joy will be refined into a cherished memory."I nodded. It would! I wish they had better cameras in this world, I would have loved to see a bunch of photos, or have a few to stick to my bedroom's walls. Oh well!Breakfast was a little less rowdy than usual, with most of us only barely having enough energy to bring spoon to mouth, but as it carried on, the energy levels increased a little.A few friends wandered off to get dressed more appropriately, and eventually I decided to do the same, though I left my breastplate and armour behind in my room. I didn't figure I'd need it when we were otherwise safe.I was just leaving my room when Caprica knocked at my door. "Broccoli, we have a guest.""A guest?" I asked.She nodded. "My guards just let me know. They're posted by the docks."I knew about them. With all of the worry and the recent kidnapping... well, people from the Sylphfree embassy didn't want their princess to be kidnapped, so we had a pair of sylph guards hanging out by the gangplank leading onto the Beaver."Anyone we know?" I asked.She smiled. "Booksie.""Really?" I asked."And an escort, apparently she warrants that now," Caprica said. "I don't know what she's doing out here the day after her wedding.""Is she still waiting?"Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon."She needs the captain's permission to board," Caprica said."Huh! But she's a friend! Of course she can get on!" I said.Caprica shrugged. "That's the excuse I used to keep the guards off the ship, so that's the excuse they're using as well."Hmph!" I hmphed. Caprica just smiled though, and she followed me as I darted across the ship and up onto the main deck, then it was a hurried rush across to the side with the gangplank.I found Booksie standing on the dockside, wearing a nice travelling set and with a thick shawl wrapped around her shoulders for warmth. She had a crocheted beanie on, one with a pair of long sleeves for her ears. The weight of the beanie dragged them down."Booksie!" I cheered as I rushed down to meet her.She laughed and spread her arms wide for the inevitable hug-crash. "Hi!" she squeaked. "How are you doing?""I'm great!" I said. "How are you? I didn't expect to see you so soon after the wedding."Booksie flushed, then shrugged. "Ah, well, Rhawr is still sleeping, so I thought I'd get out and get some chores done. We'll be leaving tonight, though.""Leaving?" I asked. A pit formed in my stomach. Leaving where? For what?She nodded. "Our honeymoon! Rhawr can be such a romantic. He said that we're going on a trip to visit my family to give them the good news personally. Ah, I expect that we might actually arrive shortly after my first letters.""Your family? Oh! Aren't they all in... uh..." I tried to remember. Booksie had mentioned where she was from before, but it was slipping my mind now. Somewhere way out west."Pyrowalk," Booksie said. "Past the Ostri desert and the Silverstar Forest. It's a month-long journey to get to the outer fringes of the country, longer still to get to where my family lives.""That's kind of a long trip," I said."Oh, it's a month-long trip if you're travelling normally and don't own your own ship. That would mean taking a caravan across the desert's edge, then an airship or two. There aren't too many who make the trip. The other option is a sea-going ship across the Moonstruck sea, but that's even longer. Fortunately, Rhawr and I are taking a more direct route." She grinned. "Rhawr got permission from the dragons that live around the desert and the forest to fly over their territory.""Oh! That makes a lot of sense," I said. "Come on! There's still some breakfast leftover, if you want, and it's warmer inside!""I won't say no to warming my toes a little," Booksie said.I led her up onto the main deck, then over to the poop deck where we entered the ship proper. It was noticeably warmer within, the winter chill kept at bay by the magical warming device that Awen had strung up within the ship. It fed off of ambient mana and created just a fountain of heat, enough that touching it felt kind of toasty. It was enough to drive off the chill of winter."Actually, one of the things I wanted to look into before I left are the things that Rainnewt left behind," Booksie said. "His 'gifts.'""Ah, those," I said. "I think Amaryllis placed them all in a chest and locked it up, just in case. You wanted to see the countdown clock?""The book, actually," Booksie said. "I happen to know a thing or two about those. Maybe I can help?"I nodded. That was a good idea. Rainnewt had left a few strange items as a wedding gift, something that had raised quite the alarm.We found Amaryllis, and after the usual hellos and trade of hugs she went to fetch the chest where Rainnewt's stuff had been... stuffed.Amaryllis dropped the chest onto the dining room table, then unlatched it. "The Mages Guild and the Exploration Guild and the city all wanted to keep these things," she explained. "I had to beat my wings to keep them away."Within was the stuff that Rainnewt had sent. The letter, addressed to me and written in English, the countdown timer, and a strange old book."Well well," Booksie said as she carefully took the book and lifted it up. "This is interesting. Did the people from either guild tell you anything about this?""No? It's not magical, just a normal book, I think."Booksie snorted. "Normal. Put on some tea, and I'll see what I can figure out about this one."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Four — Master of Her Craft
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Four — Master of Her Craft "So, this is the book, huh?" Booksie asked as she eyed Rainnewt's gift.The book was sitting on the captain's desk in the little office at the rear of the ship that Amaryllis had long ago taken over. I didn't mind that. She was the one who took care of all the paperwork, so she deserved access to the room with all of the ship's logs and maps and the small heap of documentation that came with operating an airship."This is the book," Caprica confirmed. "It's a small miracle that we managed to keep possession of it. The city guard wanted it for their own reasons, the Mage's Guild made a claim, and so did the Exploration Guild.""And yet it ended up on the Beaver?" Booksie asked."We were involved from the start, and while our claim is one of the better ones... well, we had it to begin with. Any of the others taking possession of it would mean taking it from us. The various groups involved all wanted it for the prestige, but they wanted others to have it less, and we're rather neutral as far as that goes," Caprica explained. "Also, it technically belongs to you and Rhawr, and no one wants to confiscate something from a dragon.""And I refused to let it go," Amaryllis said. She looked rather smug about it.We were rather cramped into the little captain's office at the moment. Most of my friends were here, Awen and Desiree and Caprica and Amaryllis. Calamity chose not to stay since it was around time for his 'I'm on break' catnap.The whole book-claiming thing sounded like a bunch of political gobbledygook to me. "Can you tell us anything about it?" I asked.Booksie hummed and leaned in closer to inspect the book. "Let me make some observations aloud, then look within. The inner pages should tell me more, but if my observations are somewhat accurate, then that'll lend some credence to me knowing what I'm talking about."I nodded, but I think she just wanted to show off her book smarts.Booksie reached down and ran her fingertips across the cover, then she carefully turned the book to check out the spine before turning it over completely to look at the back. She raised the book up and gave it a sniff, then touched the pages along their edge."This is a treated leather cover," she said. "Embossed. Look at how smooth this leather is. It's doe skin, I think. And it's been dyed. This isn't black, it's... very dark blue." Booksie twirled a finger and created a small ball of pure white light. "Yup, dark navy blue stain, with gold leaf lettering? No, this isn't gold leaf.""It isn't?" Awen asked.Booksie shook her head. "I don't think so. This is a children's book, and while it's a quality printing, it's not exactly... noble-tier quality. This is schlag metal. It's mostly copper and zinc and arsenic, made to look like gold and pressed into thin sheets for gilding and for lettering."She twisted the book this way and that, and the title, Tales of the Black Avatars, caught the light."So, let me point out what I think is the origin of this book, without having opened it yet," Booksie said.I nodded, listening attentively. She was the book expert here."This book wasn't printed on this continent," she said."It wasn't?" Caprica asked."I don't believe so. Doeskin binding like this is very uncommon. The largest manufacturer of book-binding materials is the Trenten Flats, and they don't use this kind of leather... for obvious reasons." Booksie tapped the cover. "Furthermore, the only people who do are the Endless Swells. Now, there are several coastal cities that this book could have been bound in, but I don't think that's the origin.""Is the binding your only evidence?" Amaryllis asked."No. The tincture used to colour this book? This dark blue? I've seen it before. It's a dye usually made out west, in the Endless Swells as well.""Isn't that a country on this continent?" I asked."Somewhat, yes," Booksie said with a nod. "The nation of the Endless Swells extends around and through the Moonstruck Sea. But the capital and largest cities of the nation are all on the western coast of that same sea. Rather far from here. Still, the other hint is the faux 'gold leaf'. This style? It's something I've seen in books from Pyrowalk.""So, two clues that point west," Caprica said. "Couldn't it have been made closer to here? Dye can be imported, as can leather."Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more."Certainly. And you could hire a bookbinder to make a book in this particular style as well." Booksie said. She turned the book over so that the spine was pointed up. "See these spine ridges? There are four. The harpy always use three for whatever reason, so that removes the Nesting Kingdom as a point of origin. As previously established, the book is leather-bound, which the Snowlands don't usually do, and the 'gold leaf' is fake gold. The sylph of Sylphfree wouldn't use fake gold.""Process of elimination leaves only Mattergrove, the Trenten Flats, Deepmarsh, or one of the smaller nationless cities to the west of the Nesting Mountains," Amaryllis said."Well, I already mentioned that the binding material is something the Trenten Flats don't use," Booksie said. "And they usually have much sturdier spines on their books, usually with a flat piece of wood at the back. Also, they don't use embossed lettering very often. Mattergrove... hmm, that could be. The dye would have had to be imported from the Endless Swells, but it's possible. Deepmarsh is right out, however.""It is?" I asked."Oh yes, they make their books in a very different way. Much shorter and longer." She mimed the dimensions the book would have to be in. "I think it's because grenoil hands are flatter, but I could be wrong."Well, seeing as how she had a bookstore in Port Royal, a grenoil city in Deepmarsh, I wasn't going to doubt her."What about... the Ostri desert?" I tried."Scrolls," she replied."Huh," I said. "I didn't know that. Is there more?""The pages," Booksie said. "See how the edges are painted? That's not very popular around here; I don't see it often. Whereas it was all the rage in Pyrowalk about sixty or so years ago, and it stayed in vogue amongst book binders for a few decades. Judging by the age of this book, it would have been printed at the tail end of that period.""How old do you think it is?" Caprica asked."At least forty, maybe fifty years old," Booksie said."It doesn't look bad," I said."Most people don't store books out in the rain," Booksie said. "They tend to age gracefully."Amaryllis leaned back, then shrugged. "We've poked and prodded the book plenty without even opening it. How about you take a peek inside and we'll see how right your guesses are?"Booksie chuckled. "Fair enough," she said before opening the book up to its very first page. There wasn't a copyright page like a book on Earth might have had, but there was a page with a stamp from a publisher on it. "Ah," she said. "Inkborough Presses. That's a rather large printing company.""Where is it?" I asked."In the city of Inkborough, in the Pyrowalk Empire. I've never been, but I've heard of it in passing," she said. "It's one of the largest places where books are scribed. The date is here."The others leaned forwards to eye the date, but it told me very little. "That's about thirty five years ago," Caprica said."I was a bit off," Booksie replied with a shrug. "This is likely one of many copies of the same book printed as a batch.""Does that mean anything for us?" Amaryllis asked."Only that it's likely that Rainnewt bought it from a book reseller. Not myself, of course-If I'd seen this book before, I would remember it-but there are others. Booksellers that focus on imports from that far west aren't common, exactly, but they're not rare either. And the book might have made its way here more naturally, passing from hand to hand for a while. Thirty years is a long time to trace a book's travels back."Booksie idly flipped through the pages, and her thumb ran over a few tiny creases that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise."This one wasn't cared for much, but it was read a few times and kept in a dry place. The paper's the sort you usually find in northern Pyrowalk, the ink seems like the sort made in Inkborough, which only makes sense. As for the contents... well, you'll have to read it to find out, I suppose." She handed me the book, and I took it gingerly."It's all fairy-tales, right?" I asked. "About these Black Avatars?""That seems to be the case," Booksie said. "They're a popular enough fairytale back home. And I know that they pop up around here too. It would be interesting to see what the differences are.""I guess we'll have to get reading, then!" I said.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Five — Time to Hit the Books
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Five — Time to Hit the Books "So... what do we do now?" I asked as I leafed through the fairy tale book. There were a few illustrations here and there that caught my eye. Monsters sometimes, and then knights in all-black armour that were usually depicted helping people.Amaryllis frowned. She was staring at the book as well, but I had the impression she wasn't actually seeing it. "I don't know," she admitted slowly. "I feel like we need to take some sort of action against Rannewt, before he carries out whatever plan he has, but ... that feels like playing into his hand.""I feel similarly," Caprica said. "Rainnewt would only give us hints and clues if doing so serves his interests. He doesn't seem like he's had a change of heart, so we can't ascribe any altruism to any of his actions.""Indeed, I have no doubt that this villain still bears a heart as black as coal, and therefore his hints are undoubtedly laced with poison," Desiree said. "But surely he must know that we will deduce as such, so what is he hoping to accomplish?""As a distraction?" Amaryllis proposed. "Or to waste our time with needless speculation.""I guess," I said. "It feels like we should be doing something though. We flew most of the way around the entire continent only to come back here, and now... well, now I'm not sure what our next step even is. We were here to help Booksie, but I don't think she needs it anymore, right?" That last was aimed at Booksie herself.She smiled kindly. "I think I'll be good for a while, yes," she said. "As for what you should do next... is there any harm in actually investigating this myth? It might involve some amount of travel, but I don't recall you being averse to that.""I suppose," I said. "I guess we could train up a little too. I feel like I'm pretty close to hitting the next big tier, and that's supposed to be a big deal, right?""You levelled up with the wedding?" Amaryllis asked, and I realized that we hadn't really talked about it. "Good. And yes, pushing into a third class would be a big deal. There are more feathers in my wings than there are triple-classed people in a city the size of Port Royal. If all of us could climb up to that distinctive height, it would earn us significant respect and influence.""Well, I was thinking less about respect and more about how cool it would be," I said. "But I guess there's that too.""Why not train and try to solve Rainnewt's riddle at the same time, then?" Booksie asked. "Becoming stronger seems like a lofty enough goal, and discovering whatever Rainnewt was pointing at might be a trap, but I feel like there might still be something to it.""It could be fun!" I said."We don't even have a direction to start in," Amaryllis gripped.Booksie tapped her shin, then glanced out the window. "Ah, I'll have to head out soon, but I don't quite think you're right, Amaryllis," she said. "If you're looking into the Black Avatars, then there's a library in Port Royal.""Awa, there are some pretty big archives in Mattergrove," Awen said. "In the capital, I mean. The country is kind of small, but we have old roots."I couldn't help but grin. That sounded like an excuse to travel a bit to me! Training and travel, smushed together! I was starting to get excited."Alright," I said. "Then we'll start here first, since this is where we are, and then we can expand our search to the archives. We haven't been to Amaryllis' home in forever, and I never visited the capitals of Deepmarsh or Mattergrove before.""Getting permission to access Deepmarsh's records might be complicated," Caprica said. "But we do have contacts in the Exploration Guild who might be able to help."Calamity raised a hand. "Yeah, I overheard some folk in the guild complaining about poking around in old papers ... that's probably the place to start. If nya need to find out where some long lost dungeon's tucked away, the best spot to learn it might be some dusty old archive."That was three large archives we could delve into, then. Deepmarsh, the Nesting Kingdom, and Mattergrove. I considered it for a bit. Deepmarsh was closest and-with the guild's help-probably the easiest to get into. I was sure some of our grenoil friends would lend us a hand in looking.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.The Nesting Kingdom was a little further out, but not that much so. And Amaryllis was a noble from there. I wasn't sure if that would help her get permission or not, but I was willing to bet it wouldn't hurt.And then Mattergrove. Awen's family was from there, and she was a noble too, but I don't think she had quite as much sway as Amaryllis did. I also had the impression that her family ties might not be worth as much as we might hope."There's the Trenten Flats too," I said. "But I bet they wouldn't like us snooping around. And Caprica's home too. Can't princesses ask for someone to check the records?""Oh, certainly," Caprica said. "When said princess isn't currently on the run. I think if they send any reply to my request it might be delivered with a battalion of worrywarts and a few royal paladins besides.""You'd get to see Bastion again," I said sweetly.Caprica shot me a glare, but it didn't have very much heat in it. What did have some heat were her cheeks, which warmed up with a pretty blush. "As... enjoyable as that may be, I've come to also enjoy the peace of not being beholden to my royal title so much.""Being on the run means you lose most of the advantages of rank in exchange for freeing yourself from all the responsibility," Amaryllis said. It made Caprica sniff, but I think she might have been a little bit right. "In any case, all of that aside, I think we'll have to start aiming for something. Sitting here and looking pretty will get us nowhere. There's a real danger in hitting a plateau and then just remaining there.""I believe that there might also be some danger present in striving eternally onwards," Desiree said. "Among my people, there are many cautionary tales of clever foxes who sought after one-too-many tails in an effort to have greater numbers than others."Booksie giggled. "I really have to sit down with you one evening and just chat about your homeland, Desiree," she said. "It sounds fascinating. Ah, but that will have to wait for another time. I was meant to only stop by for a few minutes, and it's been well over an hour."I laughed too. "Yeah, that happens when you stop to chat with a friend sometimes," I said. "Time slips by. Lets escort you to your guards?" I stood up and patted down the front of my skirts and Booksie did the same.Of course, letting her go wasn't as easy as just saying goodbye. A proper send-off took a while, and it required lots of hugs.Who knew, I might not be able to see Booksie for a long while! This would be my last chance to give her a proper hug for weeks! I wasn't about to let her just leave without getting my fill and then some."Stay safe out there," I said."I feel like I ought to be the one telling that to you," she said. "Aren't you the ones usually flying into trouble?""Yeah," I agreed. "How about we both agree to stay safe, then?""Deal!" Booksie said. "If you're staying in Port Royal for a few more days, then keep an eye on Cholondee for me, would you? For as much as she and Rhawr bicker, I think she'll be a little lonely without him to bully.""I'll pay her a visit," I promised. "And you fly safely, okay? That means lots of blankets to keep warm in the air, and good, sturdy straps. Don't forget to check them for chafing. And maybe invest in a parachute."Booksie raised her arms for a seventh goodbye hug, and I squeezed her for all she was worth. "I'll miss you," I said in a low voice.Her ears collapsed onto my head, like a warm pat. "I'll miss you too," Booksie said. "But I'll be back soon enough, promise! And when you stop by Port Royal again, I'll be right here to say hello.""Okay," I said. It was a promise!Booksie made the rounds, saying goodbye to everyone, and as a group we escorted her out to the main deck and then off the gangplank of the Beaver.I was going to miss her, but there were more adventures to be had!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Six — Broccoli Bunch and the Search for the Public Library
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Six — Broccoli Bunch and the Search for the Public Library "I think I'm gonna miss Booksie," I said. I was back in the dining room of the Beaver sitting down on the seat that had become, through repeated use, 'my' seat. Not that I'd mind taking another, but everyone seemed to go back to the same seats at mealtimes. Weird how we did that."We'll see her again soon enough," Amaryllis said. She paused to look at me, then at the thing in the centre of the dining room table. It was the clockwork timer that Rainnewt had sent. We didn't really have a place for it, and having it in full view was probably smart. "Are you planning to spend the rest of the day wallowing or did you have other things in mind?""Hmm?" I wondered as I let my head fall onto the table. "Maybe just a bit of wallowing. But I'll do some lolling about after, then maybe some moping? I might even do some indulging later.""What will you indulge in?" Desiree asked as she stepped into the room."Self-pity?" I answered, uncertainly."How about you don't?" Amaryllis asked. "I recall you being in need of some training. You still haven't unlocked Mana Regeneration or Thick Skin. I'm full up on mana, if you want to practice dodging some more as well."I looked up, my face partially hidden by my flopped ears, and tried to hit Amaryllis with my most pitiful, teary-eyed, sad bun look. It bounced off of her like an arrow ricocheting off a mountain. "I don't wanna train," I said."Were you not just going on about becoming stronger to Booksie not an hour ago?" Amaryllis asked."I meant... like, incidentally, while having fun? It's like getting stronger by playing games and running around with friends instead of going to the gym to train," I said.She huffed a sort of 'you're very silly' kind of huff. "If you're not going to be productive in training, you can at least head out and do something else. Check out that library, maybe?""I like libraries," I said. "But can't we just have an at-home day? I think that rest and relaxation is very important for growth too. You need time to process things, you know? Let your brain calm down, lower your stress levels, and all that.""Pft," Amaryllis said. "Sounds like the kind of hogwash you hear from lazy birds. None of that here, captain. If you want a break, you can have it once you're retired."Then I'm retiring. Right now." I said, yawning. "I can come back out of retirement tomorrow." Amaryllis gave me a look. I shrank back a bit, then sighed and sat up straighter. "Okay, fine. I'm not sure I want to do more training just yet though.""That's fine," Amaryllis said. "I'm hardly going to push you into doing something you don't wish to do. But have you considered not being a lazy bun?""Amaryllis!" I whined. "I'm not lazy.""Oh? You're not?"I stared at her. "A few months ago I only had the clothes on my back. Now I have an airship filled with cute friends, I have contacts across multiple kingdoms, I've fought my way through nine dungeons, leveled up twenty-five times, raised Cleaning to S, and I've helped a lot of people along the way."Amaryllis pushed, frowned, then eyed me suspiciously. "Okay... that's a fair point. It's hard to argue that you may be lazy when you've accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. But that's no excuse to become lazy.""Yes it is," I argued."Get out of the airship, Broccoli," Amaryllis said. "Go get some fresh air.""Oh, fine," I said as I stood up. "I guess I'll go to the library. I was meaning to anyway.""If you will have me," Desiree said. "I'll accompany you there as well. No doubt it will be educational. Furthermore, I've yet to master the local dialect, and wouldn't mind the practice."I nodded. I wasn't about to say no to some company! "I'll ask around and see if anyone else wants to come," I said."Awen and I are going to the Exploration Guild," Amaryllis said. "So she's out. For that matter, so am I.""Oh, okay," I said. "Want to meet me on the main deck in five?" I asked Desiree.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.She nodded, and so I skipped off with a smile to put on something warmer. I wasn't gonna slip out with my breastplate on. A big chunk of metal like that was the opposite of warm, but I did have a nice sweater somewhere that could serve as armour against the cold!Maybe I could bring some money along to buy a nice winter jacket? Oh! And a scarf! Scarves were comfy.I found Calamity and Caprica chatting in the corridor and asked them if they wanted to come. Caprica said she couldn't. She had some paperwork to do for one thing or another, and wanted some time on her own in her room to take care of it, but Calamity said he had nothing better to do, and when I mentioned scarf shopping, he grinned and said he was in.And so, about ten minutes later, with the three of us bundled up as best we could under the circumstances, Desiree, Calamity and I stepped off the Beaver to explore some of Port Royal."So," I said as we walked down the busy docks.A few light flurries gusted around us. The roads weren't covered in snow, but there were a few piles off to the side where the snow from the last few days had been piled up and left to melt. It was just a bit below freezing at the moment."So what?" Calamity asked."Well, I was wondering, where's the library anyway?"Desiree raised a hand to cover her giggles. "Do you mean to say that we've departed from the vessel with no clear idea of our destined destination?""I mean, I know it's in Port Royal," I said. "I figure that if none of us know, we can always just ask someone." I gestured to the dock workers moving about. We were just a bit past noon, so people seemed to be coming back from their midday meals. I saw some food vendors looking like they were taking care of their last few customers before packing up for the day as well."Nyeah, that might be the best idea," Calamity said. "I don't rightly know where to begin looking for a library, though I'm guessing it'll be in the nicer parts of the city.""I guess. But libraries should be spread out a little. Everyone should get to have one.""Indeed. Sharing knowledge is a good way to foster civilized behaviour," Desiree said with a serious nod. "However, I believe that the library Miss Booksie... hmm, what is her proper name now?""You know, I never thought to ask," I said. "Do dragons even have family names?""Curious," Desiree said. "In any case, Miss Booksie suggested a singular library, so I suspect that there may only be one central repository in Port Royal. Mayhaps we'll find it by searching, or we may take the easier route and question someone along the way."That's exactly what we ended up doing. We slipped out of the docks and headed towards the inner city. Port Royal had all of these big walls and gates inside the city itself, with various parts cut off from each other. The guards were usually a little rude about who could go where. The noble quarter to the north was hard to enter for normal people, for example.Still, we didn't even get questioned as we moved into the merchant's quarter. Perhaps we were recognized, or the guards saw the Exploration Guild pins on our clothes, or a group consisting of a bun, a catboy, and a two-tailed fox person was strange enough that they figured we probably had business in the area.I ended up stopping some nice-looking grenoil ladies on the road to ask them where the library was, and they gave us directions that lead up and deeper into the city.It wasn't exactly the noble quarter, but it was quite close.The library was a stately building, all carved stones and pretty arches. There were several huge windows at the front to let light in. It wasn't as big as some of the other libraries I'd seen, but it seemed welcoming enough."Do you think they'd let us borrow something?" Calamity asked. "Or are we gonna have to pay?""Some libraries lend books for free at home, but most charge a small security deposit," Desiree said with a knowing smile. "Though I wouldn't be surprised if they have some rare tomes they guard jealously.""Rare books, huh?" I said, my ears perking up. "Let's go see! And then, we buy some scarves. We can't forget that, it's important!"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Head-to-Head Search Algorithm Comparison
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Seven — Head-to-Head Search Algorithm Comparison There were two grenoil ladies behind the counter at the entrance of the library, both of them chatting to each other in low, hushed tones. One was elderly, with thick spectacles stuck to her face and a walking cane leaning on the counter next to her, and the other was a much younger woman, fresh-faced and bright-eyed.There were a few more people in the library, but they were either walking the stacks or sitting at one of the desks while studying from a book. The only sounds that carried through were the occasional cough or the thump of a book being put down.I liked the quiet of libraries. It was a very particular kind of silent. Not the silent of a place where talking was forbidden, but more the quiet of a space reserved for thinking and reading and quiet contemplation."So," I said to Calamity and Desiree, while keeping my voice low. "Do we wander and try to find anything, or do you think we should ask for help?""I'm all for looking around and hoping to luck into finding something," Calamity said. "It's a lot more fun to hunt around yourself than to have your hand held the whole time.""More fun, perhaps, but that certainly doesn't sound like it would be terribly effective," Desiree said. "We can split up. You search aimlessly and trust in your instincts and good fortune, and I'll search the library index for any sign of the Black Avatars.""Okay," I said with a nod. "And I'll ask the nice librarian ladies while you do that."Desiree blinked, then shrugged. "Very well. Three methodologies put to the test. Shall we gather at one of the desks in, say, a half hour to compare what we've found?""Sure," I agree."I can do that," Calamity said. "Don't know if the poor desk will be able to handle everything I find, though."Desiree eyed Calamity for a moment, then smiled rather smugly. "Do you know what the fox said to the stray cat who wandered too close?""No, what?" Calamity asked."Delicious," Desiree replied.Calamity snorted. "Yeah, you bet I am. But we'll see who's better in a bit, smug old fox.""Old?" Desiree asked."Guys, let's not fight over silly things," I said. "Besides, we don't want to spend all day here, right? So let's get started!"With that, we split off. Calamity hustled off — almost too fast to be library-appropriate — toward the shelves at the back, and Desiree ambled over to an area with a large set of indexes.I, in the meantime, casually walked over to the two grenoil ladies by the front counter. "Hello," I said."Oh, hi," the younger of the two said. She smiled at me while her older partner adjusted her glasses and eventually did the same. "Can we help you? Wait... oh, a bun!""Uh-huh!" I said. "I guess buns still aren't that common in Port Royal.""No, not at all, but I bet more will be showing up! Did you see the wedding?" she asked."I did! I helped a bit with it too. Hi! I'm Broccoli, Broccoli Bunch."The girl gasped, and when I extended a hand, she grasped it in both of hers and shook it up and down. "That's fantastic! Oh, that wedding was so beautiful! You just know it's going to be the talk of the town for the next... forever. A dragon wedding! And the bride looked so pretty! Did you see her in that dress?""I know!" I cheered along with her. "Her ears are so regal, right? And she has such clear skin, and then the makeup artist put that spell on it that made it practically glow! And her dress! It turned out amazing!"The little librarian lady bobbed her froggy head up and down. "I know! I'm so envious! Ah, the whole event was very, very romantic. I didn't know a dragon could even be considered handsome before, but he really stood out.""Yeah, Rhawr cleaned up nice too," I agreed with a nod.The older grenoil lady shook her head and then patted her coworker on the shoulder. "Ophelia, dear, I imagine that this young lady isn't visiting the library to get her fill of gossip.""Oh! Sorry, ma'am," Ophelia said. "I imagine that's true? Most folk don't come here to chat about what's going on in Port Royal, which is a shame. It gets kind of musty in here sometimes. Is there anything I can help you with?"Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.I giggled, but nodded all the same. "There might be, yeah. My friends and I are trying to track down some information on some fairy tales. I was hoping you could help a little? The library's kinda big to just wander around and hope to stumble on something, and I don't know how your index works.""Oh, of course!" Ophelia said as she started to move around the counter. "I'd be happy to help. What are we looking for, exactly?""Have you ever heard of the Black Avatars?" I asked.Ophelia's eyebrows bounced up on her forehead. "The Black Avatars? Yes, I've heard of them in passing. They're not a very popular children's story anymore. They used to be, however, before all our time.""Hm..." I frowned. If this was really a clue about Rainnewt's plans, then I felt like there had to be more to these old stories. "Do they have any other, uh, significance? Is that all you know about them?"Ophelia ran a webbed hand under her chin. "No. Actually, I did read something about them... follow me, we'll see if I can't find the book in question.""Sure!" I said. "Do you remember what that book said?""I do, though I only read it as a passing curiosity, and that was a couple of years ago, when we received it. It was by a grenoil historian out of Deepmarsh. A Mister Celiga. He's quite controversial for some of his historical opinions. Also, ah, something of a celebrity in the field of modern history, though I suppose that that doesn't actually make him all that famous. He's no dragon, or secretive bun princess.""I guess not," I said. I couldn't remember a single famous historian, and yet I could probably name twenty pop stars from back home. "So, he's come up with weird ideas?""It's more that his ideas lend themselves to controversy," Ophelia said. "And he likes to back them up with lively debates. Ah, but that's besides the point. About three years ago he went kind of silent, then published a new book. Usually his books are the centre of some controversy, but this one was a little more... recent history? It read more like a conspiracy than history.""Oh?" I asked."Yes! Which made the book very interesting in its own right, but it didn't strike the same chord as his other stuff. He recently published a book on the history of Deepmarsh's nobility which included a lot of very salacious details, all backed up by first and secondhand accounts. It even has illustrations. Now that one's hard to get your hands on, the government threatened to ban it... which of course only drove up sales and interest. I think most people have all but forgotten about his work on the Black Avatars."Ophelia led me through the library with an eager bounce in her step, clearly enjoying the opportunity to dig into a subject that wasn't just old tax records or genealogy charts. I followed along, keeping my steps light on the wooden floors so they wouldn't creak too much.She stopped at a shelf tucked away near the back of the library, where the books looked a little dustier. With a glance over the spines, she reached up and plucked a slim volume from the second shelf."Here we go," she said, flipping through the pages quickly before handing it to me. "The Lost Histories of the Black Avatars, by Mister Celiga. It's an odd book. The author suggests that the Black Avatars weren't just myths, but real people who left behind traces in history. A little bit of this and that, enough to make you think twice."Well ... that was certainly interesting. I took the book carefully, running my fingers over the slightly rough texture of the binding. "What kind of traces?""Mentions in old battle records, letters between nobles, stories that get repeated in different cultures with the same details but different names. You know, things that make you wonder if there's something more to the fairy tale than just a story.""That sounds exactly like what we're looking for," I said with a grin. "Do you mind if I borrow it for a bit?"Ophelia clapped her hands together, delighted. "Of course! I'll check it out for you. But if you find anything juicy, you have to come back and tell me!"I grinned. "Deal."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Let the Record Show
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Eight — Let the Record Show I was never someone who was super interested in like... rigorous study. I mean, at school, I'd do what I could to pass, but I was usually working just hard enough to get the grades I needed to keep my teachers happy.For the easier subjects, I got good grades, for the harder ones I'd need to study a heap more and I had usually passed without too much trouble.The truth was, though, that when it came to studying... it was kind of boring? Books should be exciting tales of friendship and adventure, not multiplication tables or dry records of dead people.All that to say that I was kind of impressed with how absorbed I became in the book Ophelia found for me.With storybook prose, Mister Celiga opened The Lost History of the Black Avatars by explaining his personal curiosity concerning these strange legends.Throughout my extensive explorations of ancient and premodern history, I have frequently encountered myths, legends, and folklore. As historians, it is crucial to recognize that such narratives evolve over time, often influenced by cultural shifts. However, certain stories exhibit remarkable continuity across centuries. One such tale captured my attention, and any discerning reader who has noted the title of this volume will already be aware of the subject to which I refer.Celiga went on for a few pages, but the start of the volume as a whole really just felt like... a friendly but open letter. Not one addressed to one person in particular, but rather one meant to be read by a lot of people. Or maybe it was like a lecture? But no, it was too... personal for that.I didn't know what to make of it, but it was very interesting reading, even if Celiga was a bit academic in the way he wrote.The myths surrounding the Black Avatars initially struck me as highly localized. While they do feature a diverse array of characters spanning multiple species, this characteristic is not uncommon among other mythological traditions. What proved most surprising, however, was that as I began compiling accounts of these figures, I encountered remarkably similar narratives transcending national and cultural boundaries. While such widespread dissemination is not entirely unprecedented, it often suggests that the myth in question possesses more than a mere kernel of truth. Yet, as a rigorous scholar, I found that the more I uncovered about the legendary Black Avatars, the more my skepticism grew rather than diminished.Thus, after a period of relative academic respite, I enlisted several promising young scholars from the University of Deepmarsh and dispatched them on expeditions across the continent. Their journeys took them to Sylphfree, the Trenten Flats, the distant Crying Mountains, the neighboring Harpy Mountains, and westward to Mattergrove and the network of independent city-states scattered across the western lowlands. These students were entrusted with a range of scholarly tasks, but most pertinent to this volume was their charge to collect, transcribe, and analyze any myths, records, or relevant mention of the Black Avatars.I might have had to reread a few bits. This was interesting, sure, but it wasn't as easy to parse as some of the stories I was used to. Maybe that was because he was a serious historian, or maybe it was just because this was fact, not fiction.Carrying a few books, Calamity joined me at the table I'd picked out in the corner, and soon Desiree joined the both of us, though she only had two books herself. Calamity was rather smug about that. I decided to continue reading before I looked into what they found.If nothing else, it felt like Celiga's book would at least give me something to work off of when it came to the myths of the Black Avatars.I set about compiling and organizing the reports sent back by the scholars. As I sifted through the countless permutations of fairy tales and moral fables that form the canon of the Black Avatars, any deviations from this pattern began to stand out.Some sources portrayed the Black Avatars in a less polished, less idealized fashion. Descriptions of their clothing are more naturalistic, lacking fantastic embellishment (although they universally agree that black was certainly a prominent color). These sources, though few in number, all shared a curious characteristic — they tended to be older. And the older they were, the farther and farther they strayed from the concept of a fairy tale. More and more, they read like they could perhaps be historical accounts.There are many old writings that might contain reference to the Black Avatars, but separating the wheat from the chaff is difficult. In these older writings, the modern term "Black Avatar" had yet to be coined, so determining if some particular group of black-dressed individuals is meant to be the Black Avatars is often impossible.However, one source stood out to me in the Sylphfree Royal Library, dating back nearly three centuries. This document describes the arrival of a small group of highly skilled individuals who secured an audience with the reigning queen of Sylphfree. The specifics of their meeting have either been lost to history or remain concealed within the queen's personal diary. Notably, this group referred to themselves simply as the Avatars, though contemporary accounts explicitly mention their distinctive all-black attire.The next record which I can conclusively determine is a reference to the Avatars appears approximately three years later, in a city guard logbook from the far western region, along the outskirts of Mattergrove. The account originates from what is now known as Port Hazel, though at the time, it bore the name the Royal Port of Hazelfield. This record details a conflict between the city guard—composed exclusively of humans—and a group of black-clad travelers. This band consisted of a single human, two sylphs, a grenoil, and a "tall human of unusual proportions who was not of the Ostri."The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.Once again, the group identified themselves as Avatars, though whether they were dressed in black is not explicitly stated in the text. What is emphasized, however, is their martial prowess. They reportedly fought the city guard to a standstill before engaging the royal guard, whose ranks included several third-tier combatants. The encounter resulted in significant destruction, though the record does not indicate any loss of life.I blinked as I read that. So... two hundred years ago, the Black Avatars might've been real people. Possibly. It looked fairly likely, if I could trust this author. That was long before airships and such, so they would have had to travel on foot or by ship. Sylphfree and Mattergrove weren't close to each other at all. It would take... months, maybe a year, to get from one to the other on foot. Unless they had skills that let them move faster, or teleport... right, that would complicate things.I wasn't great at Geography, and the units of measurement here were way different from back home, but I had the impression that the continent I was on was about the size of Europe back home... more or less? I'd never seen a full globe of Dirt. I wasn't even sure if one existed yet. Had anyone circumnavigated the world yet? Maybe a dragon could do it, but if so, they didn't spread world maps around.Anyway, the Black Avatars dated back some ways. Celiga had little annotations in his text that pointed to pages further in with transcripts of the original documents. I turned over to those, but most were very hard to read, even with my translation magic, they were in a very archaic font? Is it still a font if it's handwriting?There were a few more appearances of groups that may or may not have been the Black Avatar that Celiga and his associates found. He prefaced that a few of those were very suspicious, and that he was skeptical about them. Others seemed more reliable and detailed, but they were few and far between.If the mentions of the Avatars ended here, this volume would amount to little more than a pamphlet. However, the early accounts of this group—while admittedly speculative on my part—suggest the presence of a band of mixed-species travelers journeying across the continent for reasons unknown. Their only apparent commonalities were their black attire and the fact that most, if not all, appeared to be of at least second-tier strength or higher. While individuals of such power were not unheard of—especially in the more tumultuous periods of history when martial prowess was more frequently cultivated—their repeated appearances remain intriguing.Following a brief absence from recorded history, the Black Avatars reemerge, and it is at this point that their legend truly begins to take shape. The first legend of the Black Avatars. I was able to trace several accounts of the Black Avatars back to the northern reaches of the continent. These stories stand out as particularly noteworthy, as this region had little in the way of scholars at the time, so the events must've been significant to be worth so much ink.I sat up. That was super interesting. The first legend that survived to this day. The rest before that were just little footnotes and historical bits of data, but they weren't really stories.This myth finds its origins in a pass known as the Walker's Path—a valley nestled between two of the smaller peaks within the Harpy Mountain range. Today, this region is home to the thriving city of Walker's Rest, but at the time of these events, it was little more than a small village, one that, according to the accounts, was beset by a subtle yet insidious adversary.It is the nature of this foe that elevates the tale from mere myth to a possible historical anecdote. If this were simply a story of a band of benevolent, powerful travelers vanquishing a cruel beast, it might be dismissed as little more than a local legend. However, the entity in question is often depicted not as a conventional monster, but as a figure—either a harpy or a human—capable of beguiling others into servitude. What makes this figure particularly intriguing is its recurring association with a greater, more nebulous entity. Many versions of the tale suggest that this foe was merely an extension or fragment of something far more monstrous, an entity frequently described as originating from an untended or otherwise unknown dungeon.I contend that it is the mystical nature of this adversary—rather than it simply being an exceptionally powerful native creature—that elevated the stories of the Black Avatars into legend. This figure is consistently described as not only strong and intelligent but also possessing a mastery of insidious and formidable magical abilities. It is this aspect, rather than mere physical prowess, that imbues the account with an almost supernatural quality, transforming it from a historical curiosity into a legend that endures across generations.A foe that lived in a dungeon?"Hey, guys, have you found anything about the enemy that the Black Avatars were fighting?" I asked. "Because... I think I have a feeling, and it's not a good one."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Nine — I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, For Poutine
Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty-Nine — I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, For Poutine It was early evening when we left the library. It wasn't shutting its doors yet or anything, but the lanternmen were going around outside, lighting the lamposts that lined the streets even as the sky started to darken at a rapid rate.If we wanted to make it back to the Beaver before it was completely dark out, we had to leave right then and there. So we did, but not before I said goodbye to Ophelia and the older grenoil lady at the counter. We decided not to sign out any of the books we'd scoured through. Mostly because if we were leaving soon, then we might come back to Port Royal in the distant future to discover a team of miffed librarians waiting for us at the docks.Instead, we took notes where we could, and Ophelia came over with a stack of loose-leaf and copied entire pages and sections of books over instantly. It wasn't a perfect copy—the ink was kind of pale looking—but it was still a very impressive use of a skill.So, we left the library with a stack of notes shoved into a small bag that Desiree had with her, and started to make our way over to the Beaver. "Should we grab something to eat?" I asked."Could use a bite," Calamity said."Ah, sorry, I meant more like... something to cook with the others once we get back home," I said."Oh." Calamity pouted a little, then shrugged. "I guess. Did you have anything in mind?""Well, it's a little chilly. So maybe some sort of stew? Or a nice warm veggie soup? We can grab some bread on the way, something nice and fresh."Fresh bread was so yummy it was scary."Broccoli, you hail from a land that is more distant than even the furthest isle on this green dirt," Desiree said. "Are there not any foods from your home that you yearn for you could prepare for us?""Oh!" I said. That was a very neat idea. "I guess so! I can't think of anything... well, I guess fast food?""Fast food?" Calamity asked. "I have experience with that. You mean like flash gazelles and stuff, right?""No, no," I said with a giggle. "It's food that you buy in places that make lots of food very quickly. So it's ready... fastly? Anyway, it's not good food, but it's sometimes not too expensive and it's usually fast.""Like a vendor stall?" Calamity asked."Kinda!" I agreed. "Now... burgers might be popular, but I think the beef would give me tummy-aches now. Oh! Fries! I bet I could make some of those if we find some potatoes. I don't know if they sell cheese curds around here, but I think I can whip up some gravy, that's half a poutine!""Half a what?""Poutine. You start by cutting potatoes into little strips and then deep frying them in oil ..." I rambled on as we made our way through the city, though we stopped by a bustling little general store along the way with a market next to it where a nice old grenoil was selling locally-farmed vegetables and a few cooking necessities.So, when we made our way back to the Beaver, it was with a few bags filled with fresh produce. Unfortunately, it started to snow quite heavily on the way back, and as the wind picked up, it made the walk to the Beaver a little unpleasant and hard to fill with chatter and talk.I really did need to invest in better winter gear. Like... big comfy boots. I saw some grenoil with their feet wrapped in furs-topped sandals that looked kind of goofy over their wide feet, but also very warm, and it made me a little envious as I trudged along on a road that started with ankle-height snow and soon had snow up to my lower calf."Home!" I cheered as we made it to the docks. The Beaver looked cozy and inviting, a yellow glow coming from its portholes. Snow melted as it landed on the warm ship, rivulets of water running down the side and freezing into glittering icicles that hung from the hulls.We maybe needed to insulate the ship better, actually, if so much heat was slipping through the walls."Home!" Calamity said. "I hope that food of yours is easy to make because I'm starving."I laughed, the good cheer helping me bounce up the gangplank past two sylph guards who stoically ignored the snow piling up on their heads. I supposed that made sense. The sylph lived high up on mountaintops and were probably used to a bit of a chill.Once inside the Beaver, I stomped my feet a few times to shake the snow off my Mary Janes, then hurried over to the kitchen to put down our supplies. It was warm inside, a little steamy even, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.Calamity peeled off his coat with a dramatic sigh. "I think my fur is still wet under this," he complained. "Might need to dry off before I help with anything."This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.Desiree, still wrapped in her layers, simply nodded. "I will be in my quarters until the meal is ready."That left me with an armful of groceries and no immediate helpers.I didn't have to wait long, though. Amaryllis was already in the kitchen when I arrived, perched on a stool and nursing a cup of tea while she read through some documents. She barely looked up as I clattered onto the counter."You bought food?" she asked."Yup! Hungry?"Amaryllis looked up at that, then shrugged a shoulder. "I could eat," she said. "It's finally warm enough to move. There was a terrible chill earlier, but Awen has been tinkering around the ship and we worked out a way to warm it up.""Oh, it is nice in here," I said. "Any fire danger?""What? No, of course not," she said. "What are we cooking?"I grinned. 'We' meant she'd help, right? "We're making fries and gravy! And a veggie soup! Something nice and warm and tasty... I hope. And maybe not too long to cook."She sniffed, then took another sip of her tea. "If you need my help, I'll consider it. But only if you promise not to make a mess."I grinned at her. "I don't have S-Rank Cleaning for nothing, you know.""I thought it was to compensate for being such a mess?"With that, I got to work. The first order of business was prepping the potatoes. I started scrubbing them down in the sink while Amaryllis watched. I thought she'd go back to her reading, but instead, she sighed, set her papers aside, and joined me."If you're making something new, I'd rather ensure it's edible," she said, grabbing a peeler.I bounced a little in place. "You're the best, Amaryllis!""Obviously," she muttered, rolling her eyes. But I caught the tiny flicker of amusement in her huff.As we peeled and chopped, I decided to bring up what I'd been reading. "So, I found out some cool things about the Black Avatars.""Oh?" she asked. "The search wasn't fruitless, then?""Not at all! There's this book by some historian, a grenoil who I think lives in Deepmarsh? He did a lot of research on them. Maybe we should visit him, actually, there might be more that wasn't in his book. Anyway, I didn't read the whole thing, but it sounds like the black Avatars were kind of like us."Amaryllis blinked owlishly at that. "Like us?" she asked."They were higher-levelled than most people, and they went around trying to help. No airship, though, but still. They were all kinds of different species too."She nodded. "That is how the stories tend to portray them.""Yeah, and there's this cool account of them fighting the entire city guard of Port Hazel, which almost sounded like something we could've done, you know?"I kept slicing the potatoes into strips, and it took me a moment to realize Amaryllis had gone silent. I glanced over at her.She was staring at me in total confusion."Uh-" I started."Broccoli," she interrupted me. "This ... account. It sounds like you're talking about something that actually happened.""Um ... well. Assuming the author was telling the truth, I think it did.""Broccoli, the Black Avatars are fairy tales.""I know, but I think they might also have been real."Amaryllis held my gaze for a long moment before sighing wearily. "Knowing the stuff we keep getting mixed up in, I guess I should've expected that.""Yeah, getting mixed up in crazy stuff is another way they were like us!" I said. "But they wear all-black, which sounds real annoying in the summer. Also, it's a bit edgy?""Edgy?" Amaryllis asked. "As in... sharp but also embarrassingly awkward? Your translation came across strangely there."I nodded. "Yeah, both of those. Anyway! I think they might have been fighting against rogue dungeons.""Rogue dungeons?" Amaryllis asked. "I don't think there's such a thing. Root-cursed dungeons aside.""But it is possible, right?" I asked. "Maybe the Evil Roots are an older problem than we thought?""It's possible," Amaryllis said. "But if so, I think I would have heard of them by now. Even the king of Sylphfree seemed unaware of them, and I'd expect a head of state to be aware of such a threat, at least.""So it's a mystery!" I cheered.Amaryllis glared at me, then sighed. "We... might actually have to research this with more depth. You mentioned that historian lived in Deepmarsh?""Yup," I said."Well, that's a day's flight from here. Less if the winds are favourable. I suppose it couldn't hurt to speak to him directly."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty — Well, If It Isn't the Consequences of Caprica's Own Actions
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty — Well, If It Isn't the Consequences of Caprica's Own Actions We thought about leaving at night, but then that seemed like a lot of trouble. Plus it was snowing pretty heavily, and Caprica said that she really ought to tell the local Sylphfree embassy that she was heading out, otherwise they might freak out a little.Also, we were all a little lazy by the time the sun set, so... the plan was changed to accommodate. We went to bed with full tummies and woke up early the next morning to find the topdeck of the Beaver covered in a fine sheen of water. The snow from the night before had melted, and it was raining a little.Rain, even if it was above-freezing range, wasn't an auspicious start. Clive mentioned off-hand (off-wing?) that it could be dangerous. Wet ropes became frozen ropes as a ship rose up into the atmosphere and the temperature dropped. There were a few spells and skills to counter that, but it would require vigilance!There were fifteen days left on the countdown timer Rainnewt had sent. I didn't know what that would lead to, but it did give me a bit of a kick in the skirts to move a little faster.Amaryllis logged our flight plan with the local traffic controller. Our destination was deeper into Deepmarsh, the capital. No one in our group had been there before, so we didn't quite know what to expect, but we were sure the Beaver was up to the task. The capital was a half-day's flight, maybe a little more or less depending on how the winds were.In any case, Clive and the scallywags and the rest of the crew ran about, making sure everything was in tip-top shape, and I donned my captain's hat, pulled on a heavy oilcloth overcoat, and stepped out onto the rearmost deck behind the ship's wheel.After Caprica returned in a bit of a hurry, we untied ourselves from the docks and Awen started the engine with a bang. Props spinning gently, we slowly pulled out and started to gain a bit of altitude.The airspace around us was quite busy, with ships departing in huge batches and more hovering on the outskirts. For a while the docks had been overcrowded since a lot of people had come over for Booksie's wedding. It was a bit of a tourist attraction. Now things were calming down, but there were still people that hadn't yet left Port Royal after the wedding.Amaryllis joined me on the rear deck, and we stood next to Clive who was at the helm. There was surprisingly little to do, actually. "The crew have come together rather well," Amaryllis said, loud enough to be heard over the purr of the engine and the whistle of the wind. "I think all three of the Scallywags have picked up some general skills for ship handling, and it shows.""That's good," I said. "I think the Beaver only needs maybe three, four people to handle well, and we have way more than that. So it's lighter work.""I suppose so," Amaryllis said. "But light work isn't so light when you're stumbling over the fool next to you. The crew is well-trained, despite a lack of formal training.""Uh-huh!" I said."We'll be able to tack on some more sail soon," Clive noted. "There's a nice easterly wind.""Good! It'll give us a boost in the right direction," I said before I leaned over the rails. "Gordon, Sally, sails to three-quarters! Let's catch some wind! Oda, shout out if the thermometer dips below freezing.""Aye!" came the response from the crew.Sails unfurled and caught the wind with a whip-like snap and the Beaver lurched slightly as we started to gain some speed.I grinned and pulled my hat down against the wind and rain squall. This was the life!And then something heavy thumped onto the deck below me, the strike hard enough that I felt it as a vibration through my soles. Something had just landed on my ship, without permission or warning.A helmeted head popped up, just visible over the railing. Short compared to me, but tall for a sylph, his translucent dragonfly wings snapped out like swords. Densely engraved armor plates — that I knew just had to be magical — shifted fluidly over his form, and a long rapier hung from his side.He raised a hand and flipped his helmet open, giving me a good look at his very familiar face."I'm going to have to ask that you turn this ship around and return to the docks, Captain Bunch," Bastion said.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it."Bastion!" I cheered. A moment later I launched myself down, landed, then crashed into the paladin with a giggling oomph! "You're back!""This is a serious matter, Broccoli," he said."Uh-huh!" I said. "We need to have a party! Drinks! Are you cold? Flying out in this weather can't be warm, you're all wet! Want some Cleaning magic?"Bastion shook his head. "No, Broccoli. This is a serious matter."I paused. Even I could look past the happiness at seeing a friend again when they were this serious. So I took a small, reluctant step back, then tugged my clothes on straighter. "Okay," I said."Can you turn the Beaver around and return to the docks?" he asked."Sure," I said. "But why?"Bastion sighed. "Because you're harbouring the Princess of Sylhpfree, and she must be returned to her home. I was tasked with retrieving her.""Oh," I said. Caprica... kinda did run away from home. "Hey, Sally," I called out. "Go and get Caprica, please?""There's no need for that," Bastion said.I narrowed my eyes. "Why not?""This would be easier done back in port.""As opposed to here?" I asked.Bastion's expression barely changed, but he was a friend, even if he was a friend that I hadn't seen in a little while. I knew how to read that slight twitch of his lips and the pinch in the corner of his eyes. He wanted us to go back because staying in the air would be trouble for him.Which meant that I had to weigh things. Would trouble for one friend be good for another? That... wasn't a really nice thing to be thinking, but it was kind of the situation I found myself in, wasn't it?"Broccoli? What's going o-" Caprica began as she stepped out of the cabin at the back. She froze mid-step on seeing who I was talking with. "Bastion," she said.And then she turned around and disappeared back into the cabin."One moment, please," Bastion said as he started to go around me.I reached out and touched his shoulder. "Wait," I said. "I'm sure she's going to come back.""Yeah," Sally said as she stepped out as well. "She said something about getting changed?"I blinked, but... yeah, that made sense. Caprica had taken to wearing somewhat more casual clothes lately. They were still very nice, quality things, but they weren't the military-like uniform she had always worn when we started adventuring."Change?" Bastion asked. "Why would she bother with something like that at a time like this?"Oh, poor Bastion.He really didn't know how Caprica felt about him, did he? For someone who was so observant, he was kind of blind about some things. "How about we all sit down for tea and discuss this like friends who haven't seen each other in a while?" I asked."Certainly. We can do so at the Sylph embassy," he said.I puffed my cheeks out. "But that would mean turning around. We'll be late!""Late to your next adventure?" he asked.I blinked, then nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. I think we're aiming to save the world this time? Maybe? Rainnewt's hints are pretty cryptic. There's myths and legend, and like, some ancient band of super strong people that's all secretive, and a doomsday countdown clock."Bastion stared at me for a moment, then let out a very familiar sigh. "None of that was an exaggeration, was it?""Nope!" I said. "You should join us! It'll be fun! Plus, we might be able to use some help from someone nice and strong.""Broccoli is right," Caprica said as she stepped back on deck. She was changed into her uniform. Her hair was a little wild, and her uniform wasn't quite straight, but she looked a little more imposing. "The entire world might be at stake! Your presence would be a great boon, Paladin Bastion.""Be that as it may," Bastion said. "I have orders to return you home.""I will override them," she said."From your mother," Bastion continued, and the wince on Caprica's face was rather telling."T-technically," Caprica said. "My mother is a retired Paladin, and her non-inherited title of queen doesn't actually give her the legal right to give orders to any branch of the nation's military, including the Paladins."Bastion quirked one eyebrow. "Yes, I'm certain you could make that argument in court. And in front of your parents."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-One — The Third Stage of Grief
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-One — The Third Stage of Grief "I refuse.""You don't have the authority to refuse.""Yes I do.""Whose?""My... womanly authority to not go because I don't want to."I watched the argument ping-pong between Caprica and Bastion, both of them failing to convince the other. Bastion was tall, calm, and placid. Caprica had stomped her foot on the ground three times already.If things kept going like this, I might have to start worrying about the poor Beaver's deck.The rest of the crew and I had gathered up to kind of just... watch? We were still flying away from Port Royal through a light rain, though the engine was idling and we'd tucked our sails in, so we were just drifting forward on the wind. Going slower meant that we didn't need to keep as much of an eye on the environment around us, which meant more eyes on... this."Womanly authority isn't recognized by the state," Bastion said.Caprica snorted. "You didn't need to tell me that," she replied. "But it doesn't matter. We're not in Sylphfree. Even your authority isn't worth anything here.""I have a writ," Bastion said."It's a piece of paper," Caprica said. "We could use it as kindling. Hmpf! I bet you were waiting to ambush me at the Sylphfree embassy, weren't you?""I wouldn't use the term ambush," Bastion said."I'm not going back," Caprica said. "Not unless certain concessions are met." she crossed her arms and raised her head up tall and proud, displaying her noble attack nostrils for all to see.I chewed on a thumbnail. Conditions? What sort of conditions would Caprica need to leave the crew?It hadn't really hit me yet, but this whole thing, Bastion coming onboard unannounced, was about a member of the Beaver Cleaver's crew leaving. It... wasn't something I really wanted to think about if I could avoid it, but... well, it was happening? It had happened before, when Bastion left, but Bastion had always only been a temporary member of the crew. Like a cool older brother hanging out for a bit."In that case I'd like to point out that there are no authorities at the moment that could prevent me from tossing you over my shoulder and flying you all the way back to the throne room myself," Bastion said."Y-you think I'd like that?" Caprica challenged. I think she might maybe have been flushing from more than just anger.Which was a good time for me to step in, I think. "Guys," I said. "Caprica, Bastion, can we just talk this through?"Bastion turned his attention towards me. "Broccoli, I consider you a friend and an ally." Aww! That warmed my heart up a little. "But even as an ally of the nation of Sylphfree, I feel that you should know not to interfere with this matter any more than you have.""He's right," Caprica said. "This is between me and Bastion.""I get that," I said as placatingly as I could. "But... ah, let's lay things out on the table... the metaphorical table. Bastion, why are you trying to, ah, bring Caprica back home?"Bastion sighed. "If it were entirely up to me, I would merely suggest that the princess bring with her an appropriate escort. But it isn't merely up to me. The King and Queen suggested that Caprica's wanderings reflect poorly upon Sylphfree, though some of your group's more... heroic actions have reached the capital's rumour mill and they do seem to be taken in a positive light.""We're doing just fine," Caprica said."Certainly," Bastion replied. "But the royal family is still worried. You never even wrote."Caprica flushed and looked away. Ah, Bastion had scored his first real point in this argument."In any case, it's my duty to ensure the safe return of the princess," Bastion continued. "Unharmed and in a condition wherein she can continue her royal duties.""The only reason you're not kidnapping me outright then, is because we've been successful so far," Caprica said, her arms crossing again. "I know how my father thinks. He'd have had a whole patrol fleet after us far earlier, but we've been nothing if not successful in our ventures.""Most of those ventures involve altercations with pirates and dealings with dragons," Bastion said."Yes. And we've handled those well. We also ventured into multiple dungeons and even pushed back the influence of the Evil Roots that threaten Dirt itself," Caprica said. "I bet the gossips don't mention that nearly as often."Stolen story; please report."The existence of these Evil Roots has been disseminated amongst the people that need to know, but the knowledge has been kept from the broader public," Bastion said.Caprica sniffed. "So our heroic deeds are being masked. And it's coincidentally making it all the easier for you to come here and take me away?"I frowned. That... almost made sense, but ... I think Caprica was grasping at straws. "Do you need to leave with Caprica now?" I asked Bastion. "We're mid-flight, after all. It would be kind of dangerous. And we're just going to Deepmarsh, the capital, to try and solve a mystery.""The royal family wishes their wayward princess back," Bastion said."I'll go back," Caprica said. Then, when Bastion had a hint of hope, she crushed it. "When I please. I do not please at the moment, so you can either leave yourself without me, or join us on this venture which you will no doubt realize is of utmost importance.""Is it?" Bastion asked."Yes," Caprica said."And what exactly is this venture?" Bastion prompted."Classified," Caprica replied smugly.Bastion's wings twitched and his fingers flexed at his sides. It had been a minute since I'd last seen him, but he was a friend, and I could tell from his body language alone that he was a little conflicted. Maybe he wouldn't mind giving Caprica some amount of freedom?"Bastion, you're a Paladin, right?" I asked."Yes," he said."So, your job is to keep Caprica safe?"He nodded again. "Yes, that's correct. And I already see where you're going with this."Caprica caught on too. "We're sailing to Deepmarsh to speak with an expert on a subject linked to Rainnewt. That man must be taken down, for the good of all of Dirt, and the next hint as to his location is in Deepmarsh itself. If something threatens my kingdom, and I have the ability to stop it, then I have a responsibility to do so. To leave now would be dereliction of duty."I had to bite my lip. She really was good at this.Bastion inhaled deeply, his shoulders rising as if gathering his thoughts. "And if this mission is more dangerous than you anticipate?"Caprica's lips curled into a small, triumphant smile. "Then as my loyal protector, you will be right there to make sure I return home safely."The silence stretched for a moment before Bastion exhaled, slow and measured. "I suppose," he said, "that if the royal family wishes their princess returned unharmed, it would be prudent to ensure she remains so in the first place."Caprica tilted her head. "Are you saying you'll join us?"Bastion sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I will remain onboard for the time being. If I find your actions unacceptably reckless, I will override your wishes and return you to Sylphfree personally."Caprica beamed. "Then it's settled!""And your royal majesty will be writing letters to her father and mother, apologising for the lack of communication and the failure in her filial duty."Caprica stiffened for a moment. "I... suppose I can do that.""Good. because I have several letters from them addressed to you," he said before reaching between his breastplate and gambeson. He pulled out a small pouch, then opened it to reveal a small stack of letters.I remember that on Earth, companies sometimes use colour-coded envelopes. Paper and brown meant nothing, but yellow and red was a bad sign.Caprica's stack of letters had a nice hue-shift going, from beige all the way to a very dangerous red."These were sent to you via your banking ring, which you seem to have misplaced. The royal family requested the letters back and asked that I deliver them to you personally. I have a banking ring that could allow discrete communication to Sylphfree," Bastion said. "I'm certain your family will be excited to hear from you.""Ah," Caprica said as she eyed the letters. She took them as if Bastion was handing over a live bomb. "From mother?""Yes," Bastion said, and I think I detected some pleasure in that 'yes.' "How did you guess?""Well... I shall take care of these immediately... in my room. Seeing as how you are going to travel with us as my bodyguard, I suppose I ought to make room for you in my cabin as well.""No no," Amaryllis slipped in smoothly. "Bastion can stay with Calamity and the other boys. I'm sure there's a hammock to spare.""Thank you," Bastion said. "That would be more than acceptable."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Two — 5«
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Two — 5« "Whoa!" I said as I leaned way forwards on the railings and squinted my eyes to take in Deepmarsh. It was about midday, so the sun was almost directly overhead and shining down with a bright light that made the entire world feel vibrant and colourful, for all that the world below was filled with a lot of browns and greys.Deepmarsh the country was known for its marshes. Deepmarsh the capital city? It was smack in the centre of a massive swampy space.A dozen small rivers from the north and east and west all came together to meet in the same spot, forming what looked like a shallow inland sea.I'd seen some maps of the region, so I knew that it wasn't actually a sea, just a really, really big river, one that ran from the capital all the way down to an estuary that met the ocean to the south.Still, even from so high up, the lake was wide enough that it felt like we were hovering over a sea.The water didn't look super inviting, being mostly brownish and sluggish, and it was covered in huge mats of greenery that seemed to slowly float along. Small, squarish boats bobbed atop the lake, moved by pole-welding grenoil. More impressive were the larger floating docks and platforms, some of which had entire small town's worth of homes and buildings sitting atop them.And then there was Deepmarsh itself.Unlike the boats and platforms all around, the capital was built of stone.It was a five-by-five grid of gargantuan buildings. Each one ten times longer than the Beaver and probably three times as tall as the ship was long. They stood in the waters with just enough room between them that two of the smaller barges could float past each other in the grid of waterways between the buildings.Some were topped by massive greenhouses, and others, especially on the edges, had wooden towers that rose up with docks and airship ports for incoming ships.The buildings were lined by balconies and linked together with a confusing array of bridges and what looked like zip-lines that had boxes shooting past."It's huge!" I said.Each building probably had as much stone as a decently large castle, and there were twenty-five of them! Some, to the north, were larger than the rest, with gilded pillars rising up around them and domed roofs that glinted in the noonday sun."That's the palace," Caprica said as she came to stand next to me."It is?" I asked. "Have you ever been here?"She shook her head. "No. But it was covered in my studies on Deepmarsh. And Deepmarsh is an ally of Sylphfree. Or at least, not an adversary. The palace over there took a century to be built. The entire city took twice that. It's one of the engineering marvels of the world, really."The city was two hundred years old? I couldn't tell from above, but it was certainly impressive. The palace reminded me a bit of images I'd seen of the Taj Mahal, only a bit blockier and sitting atop of a swamp instead of dry land."Why is it built like that?" I asked."I don't know, exactly," Caprica said. "I think the first home pad-that's their name for these square buildings-was a proof of concept, and when it proved successful, they built more of them. Some are housing, some contain factories." she pointed to one off to the side that had several chimneys belching smoke atop it. "And some are schools and living spaces and markets. I imagine that over time, some have taken on many tasks."That was cool! But... why? Deepmarsh had some dry land to build on. They didn't need to build a whole city over the swamp like this. Though I supposed it would make invading pretty difficult. The grenoil were a semi-aquatic people. Their neighbours were either harpies, cervid, or humans, and none of them would be well-suited to assaulting a city sitting on so much water."Are they floating?" I asked."Dirt no," Caprica said. "They must weigh millions of tons. They're anchored to the bed of the lake far below, I believe. The stone is quarried from... ah."I heard a click-click of talons on wood as Amaryllis approached. "The foothills of the Harpy mountains. About two hour's flight north of here," she answered. "Cutting and bringing all of that stone here was a chore. But it's a tough, durable material. The rivers pouring into the lake are all damned now, with the amount of water flowing in carefully regulated. If the grenoil want, they could flood all of the lowlands around here. It would be disastrous."This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.Why would they do that?" I asked."Well, they need to flood the land every few years to make the grasslands wet and to irrigate their crops... and it's a great deterrent. Can you imagine marching an army across ground that could be swept away at any moment? Aerial warfare is truly the worst thing to happen to the grenoil, all of these defences are rendered nearly obsolete by the invention of the airship."Honestly, I thought Amy was being a little too cynical. Not every giant building project needed to be a cold-blooded preparation for a future war that might never even happen! Couldn't they build a capital like this just because they wanted to? It was pretty, and I bet it was a cool place to live in!I had to stop staring as we came in closer. It was time to pilot the ship in towards the docks. Fortunately, Clive had been here before, and he knew enough to warn me that the docks around Deepmarsh were a little tricky.We had to slow way, way down and signal with a few semaphore flags to the port authority tower that we were looking for a berth, then we were carefully directed to join a line of incoming ships.Smaller ships, like floating skiffs with small sails and no balloons-just powerful gravity engines-zipped around and acted as tugs to push ships into place and keep order.Eventually, after a solid hour of moving at a pace that I could have out-walked, we finally came up next to one of the free dock towers. Ropes were tossed back and forth, and large metal gantries came up from below and were adjusted to fit the Beaver's strange hull configuration.We slowly lowered the output of our engine until we were confident that the dock could hold us, then shut it all down."Well done, Captain," Clive said. He bit the end of his pipe. "I'm going to take a breather, leave the dockwork to the younger folk.""Sure thing," I said with a grin. "Can you keep an eye on the ship while we're off? I think most of us are going to be coming along for this one.""Aye, I can do that," he said with a nod.I grinned, then took a few minutes to make sure everything was in order. Amaryllis argued with the dockmaster over the fee we'd have to pay while our friends that were coming along got geared up for a bit of fun in an unknown city.Once I checked in and made sure the Scallywags knew what they were doing with the ship, I ran down and got dressed up as well. I tossed my captain's hat off and picked up my trusty kettle helm, slipping my ears through.I stepped out onto the main deck a few minutes later in my gambeson and with my breastplate on. It was a bit much, going out all armoured, but... well, this wasn't a familiar city, and there was a possibility that we'd be getting up to some trouble. If we did, then I'd rather do it armoured."Is everyone ready?" I asked as I scanned over my friends. Calamity was adjusting his moustache, unstrung bow on his back, Awen was next to him in her long blue coat, warhammer hanging from her belt, and Caprica was plucking lint off of her militaristic uniform. She had a sword and shield strapped to her back.Desiree was over by Amaryllis, tails wagging happily behind her while she chattered away and Amy made vaguely disinterested noises. Both seemed pretty ready too."Alrighty then," I said as I did nothing to stop a grin from spreading across my face. "Let's go exploring!""And where, exactly, are we exploring?" Bastion asked as he walked over, very much looking the part of the noble paladin in his shiny armour."We'll start at the University Quarter," Caprica said with certainty. "Our quarry is an academic, a 'Mister Celiga.' If he's not there, then the people in that area ought to know where we can find him.""Sounds good to me!" I said. "So... which building is the University Quarter? And why are they called quarters if there's more than four buildings?"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Three — The Scenic Route
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Three — The Scenic Route I think Caprica really wanted to impress Bastion. More so than usual. She ended up at the front of the group, acting as our guide through a city she'd admitted to never setting foot in, but she had read about it. Amaryllis and Awen both had about the same level of knowledge — they had studied the city in their schooling, and Awen had also heard stories from her uncle — but neither of them had ever actually been to Deepmarsh.We were kinda flying blind."This way," Caprica said as she guided us towards an entrance atop the monolithic building we'd docked at. The entrance was a stone archway, the doors held open with little wooden blocks. As we crossed into the building, air faintly blew across my ears, and I raised my hand up, looking for the source of the breeze."Huh? Is there a spell here?" I asked.Amaryllis paused, then looked up and squinted. "Oh. There is. Look at the keystone of the arch, there's a spell woven into it."I couldn't quite see what she meant, though there were some markings on the stone she gestured to. "What do they do?" I asked."Looks like... a drying spell, and one to pull air in. It's not nearly strong enough to dry all the air, or pull much in," Amaryllis said."It's likely to counteract the humidity a little," Caprica said.That... was probably a good idea. I had my Cleaning magic running as a thin aura around me, but even then I could feel the muggy heat of the day clinging to me. The air was warm, and wet, and kind of thick? The slight breeze helped a little, and I supposed that was the whole point. "I guess even grenoil can find it too humid," I said."It's likely also to prevent moisture from causing issues," Awen said. "Things rust faster in wet places, and there's always mould that can grow if you're not careful. At least, that's what I've heard? It's kind of dry in Mattergrove."Mattergrove was sitting right next to a desert, so that was probably a bit of an understatement."Let's get a move on?" Calamity asked. "This place ain't any good for my fur.""Indeed. My tails will require additional grooming once we've left this place," Desiree agreed. She patted one of her tails, which did look a little puffier than usual already."Yes, let's!" Caprica said. She smiled, glanced at Bastion, who was near the front of the group and standing very still, then she spun on a heel and started ahead."Say, Broccoli," Amaryllis said as she walked next to me. The inside of the building was a lot of wide corridors with low ceilings so far, with lots of equipment and supplies left in crates along the walls. We had entered directly into the core of the building, and there were no windows or skylights. It would've been pitch-black, except that there yellow-burning lanterns spaced every few paces."Yeah?" I asked.Amaryllis squinted ahead at Caprica, then Bastion. "I'd like to think that I'm rather observant of others, but I'd appreciate your opinion.""Always," I said."Caprica has the worst crush on Bastion this side of Dirt, yes?""Oh yeah," I said with a nod. "She has it bad. It's pretty obvious.""And Bastion is utterly clueless about it, yes?" Amaryllis asked. "I think you have a better read on the Paladin than I do."I hummed and rubbed at my chin. Was he? "I think so, but it might be that he's choosing to be, ah, professional about it?""That would make a fair bit of sense. He'd be putting his career in jeopardy if he... entertained any of the ideas Caprica may have.""It's also a little wrong, she's technically kind of his boss," I said."Oh yes, it would be quite scandalous in the sylph courts. But Caprica isn't first princess, she may perhaps be able to marry whomever she pleases as long as the choice isn't too... controversial, and in that respect a former Paladin would be a respectable choice," Amaryllis said. "We should be playing chaperon. To keep poor Bastion from being harmed."I blinked. "Not to keep Caprica safe?" I asked."I know what I said."I held off on giggling, even if I wanted to. There was no point in getting the others' attention. They might ask what had made me laugh, and then I'd have to explain things, or make something up, and I was no good at that.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.The corridor we were in opened up into a large, multilevel room. Balconies ran along the edges, circling an open area that dropped half-a-dozen floors below us. Wide metal tubes descended from the vaulted ceiling, each one bolted to support columns. I leaned over the edge of the railing, following the tubes down with my eyes — each one ended in a mirror, angled to fling bright light across a garden-park that took up most of the floor at the bottom of the room.So, they were basically piping in sunlight, huh? I guess the inside of the tubes were all ... mirrorized. Was that the word?Every balcony was teeming with grenoil, and many other races as well. Then again, this was right under the docks, so it made sense to me that this would be the meeting ground of travelers. There were inns on almost every level, and I noticed a few taverns below with magical lights hovering around their signs to grab people's attention."Ah, a map," Caprica said before moving to a large board fastened to one of the walls. The map showed every building in the city marked on it, and next to them, in a teeny-tiny font, a list of what could be found there. There were also lines connecting the buildings, showing how to get from one to the other. "Looks like the university quarter is just three buildings away. It shouldn't be too hard to get there from here."As it turned out, that was a little bit wrong.Sure, three buildings wasn't far, as the crow flies, but it was also three gaps away, and those gaps were covered by bridges, and not all bridges were on the same level. We found one to the building across, but then had to go down three floors for the next one, and then that building was residential, and the next bridge over was in a private area, so we had to climb back up, cross another bridge, then a second, then go down another two floors, then across again.All in all, we might have only been half a kilometre from the university quarter, but it took a solid hour of twists and turns and getting a smidge lost before we found our way over."Okay," Caprica said. She was keeping it together, which was nice. "Now... Mister Celiga is a historian. All we need to do is find the history department and we'll know where he is. Easy as sugar pie."It was not as easy as pie, sugar or otherwise.We stepped into the building, crossing a bridge that had a sign hanging by its middle with 'University Pad' written on it in a very formal-looking script. The inside smelled like old paper and ink, and there were a lot of younger grenoil loitering around the lobby we stepped into.There were bulletin boards covered in flyers stuck to the walls and students milled around, wearing various robes cut in different colours of cloth and in different styles, most carrying handfuls of books and scrolls. I noticed a few of them looked baggy-eyed, even for grenoil."Okay," I said, stepping up next to Caprica and peering down one of the wide hallways leading off the lobby. "Anyone see a map?""I do," Awen said. She pointed to a plaque near the reception desk. It was behind a wall of glass and surrounded by small drawers labeled with letters. "I think that's the directory."Caprica strode over first, with all the authority of someone who had definitely not just gotten us mildly lost for an hour. She stared at the directory for a moment, then frowned. "This is... alphabetical by subject. But not in the Common tongue.""It's in Grenish," Amaryllis said as she leaned in. "I can read it, give me a moment."Desiree hummed. "Would this not be a good moment to ask for help from a local? Perhaps a charming young student? One with a loose tongue and helpful manners?"Amaryllis didn't look up. "And risk being sent three floors up and four buildings over because someone thinks it's funny? Pass."It took Amaryllis a moment, but she had the directory open and plucked out a map of the entire building, with a route from the lobby to the history department marked out. I wasn't sure if we were allowed to just take it, but we... kind of just did.The path led us down two more winding corridors, past a cafeteria that smelled surprisingly good, then up a narrow spiral staircase. At the top, it deposited us at a door made of thick, dark wood with HISTORICAL RESEARCH AND STUDIES carved neatly across the top.This was it, I figured!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Four — The Rest is History
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Four — The Rest is History "Broccoli," Caprica said as she half-turned towards me. "Did you want to be the one to, ah, interact with the professor? With my assistance, of course."Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bastion raise his eyebrow slightly."Um, sure," I said. "But why me?"Caprica shrugged slightly. "I don't have the authority to pull rank, as it were, and you are generally fairly charismatic.""Aww, thank you!" I said. I had always tried to be friendly and fun to talk to, which I supposed translated well being somewhat charismatic. "I think I shouldn't be alone, though. Why can't we all go in?""Because so many of us entering would intimidate even the most stalwart professor," Amaryllis said. "I recall several of my teachers being real spitfires but even they would balk at this many armed people stepping into their office at once.""Oh, I guess that does make sense. And... maybe Desiree can come along too? She was there when we found that book, The Lost Histories of the Black Avatars. "Desiree blinked, then her face lit up before she schooled her features. "I'd appreciate that, yes," she said.I didn't want to single her out, but also, Desiree was the newest member of the crew, and hadn't quite found a space in it as easily and quickly as Calamity had. I could make a bit of effort to include her in things until she felt comfortable. It was only nice."Okay," I said with a serious nod. "Uhm... what will everyone else do?""Loiter, mostly," Amaryllis said."I wouldn't mind having a minute off my feet," Calamity said. "Hey, how far is that one cafeteria we saw? Think they'd allow non-students to grab a bite to eat?"I grinned. "Just give us a few minutes first? We don't actually know if Mister Celiga is here. For all we know, these aren't his office hours and we'll have to return tomorrow.""I hope not," Awen muttered. "It was hard to get here.""Ah, but we've managed it once," Calamity siad. "Which means doing it a second time will only be easier."I nodded, then turned to the doorway, Caprica and Desiree joining me. I knocked, because that was only polite, then tried the handle and stepped in. The Historical Research and Studies office was... not what I had imagined before opening the door.I guess I was influenced by movies and TV, but I expected a well-ordered office space, with a few desks and maybe a small reception area, and I guess I was at least partially right.There were four desks squeezed into a medium-sized room, a room that would have been plenty large enough for that many offices if it wasn't for all the stuff squeezed into it.The walls were lined with floor to ceiling shelves, some filled with books, others stuffed to the brim with artefacts. There were clay pots and scrolls and some statues, all tucked into the shelves, not as display pieces, but because they happened to fit there.The only thing that hinted at any degree of order were the tags hanging off of everything, with tiny scribbled writing that I couldn't parse from across the room.Two of the four desks in the room were more or less orderly and neat, but the other two had stacks of loose sheets and papers and books left open. A few typewriters sat on some of the desks, and there were little mobile trays with wheels at the bottom filled with more paperwork.A dim light hung from the ceiling, spellwork in a glass enclosure, and a large window to one side had its curtains pushed aside to let in some more natural light."Uh, hello?" I called out.Someone straightened up at one of the desks. It was a young grenoil woman, in a somewhat frumpy set of school robes with spectacles pressed onto her face. "Yes, hi?" she said before blinking and jumping to her feet. "Oh! Guests. Um, hello. I'm sorry, but zis is ze Historical Research and Studies office. Administration is one floor down.""No, this is the one we're looking for," Caprica said. "We're looking for a certain Mister Celiga. We suspected that we might find him here."The young researcher blinked again, then her brows perked up. "Professor Celiga? Ah, yes, he does use zis office at times." She glanced at one of the desks, one of the neat ones with only a typewriter sitting in its middle. "But he's not 'ere right now. Can I ask why you were looking for him? You... don't look like students."If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation."I guess we're not dressed like students, are we?" I asked."Well, zat, and I don't recall, ah, too many sylph or... I will be honest, I'm not certain what either of your species are. A bun? Maybe? And ze tails... no, I have no idea.""Oh, we're not students," I said. I reached up and touched the pin stuck to the front of my armour. "I'm Captain Broccoli Bunch, of the Beaver Cleaver. I'm from the Exploration Guild.""Oh!" the grenoil said. "Did Professor Celiga ask for explorers to help... well, explore something? Usually we put our own teams together?""No, nothing like that," I said. "We're actually researching something ourselves, and discovered that Mister, uh, Professor Celiga had done a lot more research on the topic than us. Since we were kind of around, we decided to pop over and ask him directly!"Her brows rose up even more, but she did nod soon after. "Zat's reasonable enough, I suppose. Did you send him a letter?""We are a little too pressed for time for letters," Caprica said."I see?""So!" I said. "Where can we find the professor?""He's been fired."I blinked.The grenoil researcher blinked back."Huh?" I asked."It was all over ze news. Well, ze academic news, at least. But Professor Celiga was fired last week. He might not even be professor for much longer.""Well, that's... rather unfortunate," Caprica said."It seems as though our timing was less than auspicious," Desiree said. "To arrive just as the good professor loses his job is very unfortunate.""Yeah," I said. "Uh... but he still has a desk here?" I gestured to the desk in the corner."Hmm? Oh, ze typewriter belongs to the school," she said. "I'm afraid I can't really help you."I puffed my cheeks out as I let out a breath. This was... a set back. A pretty big one, actually. I was hoping that maybe-still-a-Professor Celiga might have some answers. But then, maybe he wasn't the only lead? "Why was he fired anyway?" I asked."Ah, he made and published some historical facts zat weren't very, um, popular. In fact, calling zem 'facts' right now isn't a very good idea.""Oh my," Caprica said. "The bane of all historians; politics.""Something like zat, yes," the grenoil said. "What were you looking for ze professor for anyway? I'm at least passingly familiar with most of ze subjects he wrote about. I'm not one of his associates, but I have worked here for a few years, and saw some of his research."I nodded, one source might be as good as another. "The Black Avatars," I said.She stared a little, then cracked a smile. "Is zis a joke?""A joke?" I asked."Ze professor's writing on ze Black Avatars was what began to send his career down ze hill, as zey say in ze Harpy Mountains. Zough it's obviously not what led him to losing his job. Ze Black Avatars aren't really historical fact.""Oh... well, that's kind of too bad, because we need to know more about them," I said."Well, ze professor always did have a keen interest in zem." She walked over to a desk and started to rummage around some papers. Soon she had a pen and inkwell out, as well as a scrap of paper. She wrote down a few lines on it, then handed it over."What's this?" I asked before reading.Sixth Quarter, 9th level. Apt. 48."Ze Professor's home address," she said. "In ze old quarter. He was never home before, but now zat he's, ah, no longer at ze school, zat might be ze best place to look for him.""Would that even be worth it?" Caprica asked."Ordinarily I'd say no. A lot of his research was confiscated when he was fired, but none of his work on ze Black Avatars, since zey're not politically important.""Thank you," I said. "This might be helpful! Maybe it'll even get him into a better mood if we show up looking for the thing he spent so long researching too!""I'm sure. Maybe... don't bring any wine as a housewarming present, however?""Uh... okay," I said. I wasn't sure what that comment was about, but I had an inkling it wasn't a good thing.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Five — A Man Out of Time
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Five — A Man Out of Time "So..." I said, stretching the word out. I'd just explained what happened to the others waiting outside of the Historical Research and Studies office. "Do we just pop over to Celiga's house and say hi?""I suppose there's no harm in trying," Awen said. "Do the Deepmarshers consider it a faux-pas to visit people in their homes without invitation?""I don't know," I said. "It can't be all that bad, we're visiting for a good cause, right?""Sating our curiosity is a good cause, now?" Amaryllis asked.I worked my jaw, then nodded. "Yup! Plus, it sounds like Professor Celgia was really passionate about the Black Avatars. I think that most people who are really into a thing are happiest when they're talking about that thing!""You always seem insufferably happy. Does the same thing apply to you?" Amaryllis asked.I grinned back at her. "Maybe? Who knows!""Alright, well, unless ny'all plan on standing here all day, maybe we should start makin' our way back to the Beaver? Or to the old professor's place, hmm?" Calamity asked. He was hanging out at the back of the group with Bastion, and I think they'd been walking about boy stuff on their own back there."I think we should at least try to talk to the professor," I said. "If he's not there, then we can set up a meeting at least, and it'll give us an idea of how to reach his place.""That's reasonable enough," Amaryllis said."Besides," Desiree added. "We've journeyed all this way, surely it would be a shame not to explore the city a bit more.""Then it's settled!" I said with a chipper clap of my hands."I just hope your new friend doesn't call the city guard down on our heads," Amaryllis muttered."He certainly won't," Desiree declared. "The professor is a political pariah, isn't he? The local constabulary won't lift a finger in his defense."My smile got a bit fixed, especially when Amaryllis inclined her head like Desiree had made a good point."... Well!" I said, hoping I hadn't paused too long. "Let's get moving!"Getting to the Sixth Quarter, the location of Celiga's house, wasn't as easy to find as I might have hoped, but it wasn't as hard as I feared. We were still getting the hang of the city's layout, with all its weirdly stacked pathways and such.Caprica took the lead again, with Bastion to one side and Amaryllis on the other. The imposing (even if he was a bit short) paladin did a good job of clearing people out of the way for us just with his presence.The rest of us kept pace behind, sometimes taking a moment to point at something weird. There were a lot of tall, narrow 'slit' windows along the exterior corridors, some opened up to let in a muggy breeze. It was nice to pause next to one of those, because the air in Deepmarsh's big buildings was only getting thicker and more humid as the day wore on.The professor lived in the Old Quarter. That wasn't its official name, but whenever we asked someone for directions that's what they called it. I gathered from the way people were talking that it was one of the first four home pads to be built. The homes in it were a smidge larger, and some well-off families had taken over entire floors of the Old Quarter building.I supposed that in a city laid out like Deepmarsh, there wasn't really room for stuff like mansions and big estates.We found the ninth level of the Sixth Quarter after climbing a narrow stairwell that zigzagged its way up the corner of the pad, then followed painted numbers to Apartment 48. It was tucked in a corner hallway, beside a laundry line strung from one balcony to another. A few grenoil kids leapt across the bridge above us, cackling as they chased each other.I stepped up and raised a hand to knock, but paused with my knuckles an inch from the door. "Okay, how should we approach this? Polite and curious and friendly? Friendly and enthusiastic and friendly? Quiet and respectful and friendly?"Amaryllis rolled her eyes. "Careful Broccoli — those tactics might not be friendly enough."I gasped. "I forgot friendly and friendly and friendly," I said.Awen giggled, and shook her head. "Let's try being polite first?""We can fall back on friendly if that doesn't work," Amaryllis said. "And threats as a close third."I smiled brightly, then rapped my knuckles against the door.Nothing happened for a long moment.This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.Then, just when I was about to knock again, there was the sound of several bolts being undone, one by one, followed by the clunk of a latch and the metallic squeak of a hinge that had not seen oil in a few weeks.The door creaked open, and a pair of tired, bloodshot grenoil eyes peered out through the crack. "Yes?" came a man's voice. It was almost a croak, and I wasn't saying that just because he looked a bit froggy."Hi!" I said while putting on a smile that I hoped looked friendly and welcoming. "Are you Professor Celiga?" I asked.He scoffed. "Who's asking?" His eyes narrowed, then jumped from me to each of my friends in turn. I saw his brow perk up a little as he stared."My name's Broccoli Bunch! I'm from the Exploration Guild, and these are my friends, Amaryllis, Awen, Calamity, Caprica, Bastion and Desiree. We heard you were something of an expert on the Black Avatars, and we wanted to ask you a few questions."The man blinked. "You're an entire menagerie," he said before opening the door just a few more centimetres. It was enough to reveal a tired-looking grenoil gentleman, someone a little older, wearing a bathrobe and big dark pouches under his eyes. "You're here for the Avatars?" he asked.I nod-nod-nodded. "We found something that referenced them, but it wasn't much. And people keep saying they're not real, or just a fairy tale. But it didn't sound like a fairy tale. Ah, it's a long story, actually. But when we started to research, we stumbled on your book. The Lost Histories of the Black Avatars. So far, it's been our best source about them.""Come in," he said after staring for a moment.We filed in carefully. The apartment was... cozy, in a kind of cluttered-expert-historian way. Piles of books were everywhere, the furniture didn't match, and half of a large tapestry had been pulled off one wall and lay curled up on the floor. A truly impressive number of empty beer bottles and wine bottles littered every available surface.The place made me itchy to start cleaning.Professor Celiga led us into what might once have been a respectable sitting room, but now looked like it had lost a battle with at least three competing systems of "organization." Chairs were buried under drifts of books, piles of books were serving as end tables, and the end tables had worn seat cushions perched atop them."Don't touch the purple books," he said. "Or the teapot. And ignore the cat.""Cat?" I asked.A loud mrrt came from somewhere in the room. Then I spotted a very round, very fluffy feline lounging atop a bookshelf, its eyes half-lidded with judgment. It didn't blink when I waved at it."You have a cat?" Caprica asked, perking up a little.She was immediately distracted, moving across the room to make tutting noises at the kitty to get permission to pet it. The cat was more focused on Calamity, both of them giving each other half-lidded stares."Hmph," Celiga said. He flopped back into a plush armchair, then looked at those of us who weren't as distracted."So," he said. "The Black Avatars."I nodded, then leaned forward. "They were real, weren't they? You wrote that they lived a long time ago, but that they disappeared." I'd had some time to finish reading his book. Um ... I didn't actually use that time to finish reading his book, because I was a busy bun with other things to do, but I'd flipped through a lot of it.Celiga snorted. "They disappeared because they chose to. Not for lack of gold, and especially not power. They had both in spades. But they saw something coming, something they didn't want to be part of. So they removed themselves from the world.""Why?" Awen asked. "It seems... extreme."Celiga reached over to a stack of books, slid it aside, and pulled free a thin leather-bound journal. It looked old, with a sun-faded spine and a cracked seal on the front shaped like an ornate black sun.He held it up. "Because they were corrupted. Or, rather, they feared they would be. Too much power, too much influence, too many people calling on them to fix things that they had no business being the ones to fix."Desiree stepped forward, eyes narrowed. "You are saying they abandoned the world to protect it from themselves?""Something like that," Celiga said. "A group of the most powerful individuals Dirt had ever seen. Each chosen not just for strength, but for moral clarity. For the goodness in their hearts. And they were good-truly. But even the brightest candle flickers under a storm."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Six — The Devil's in the Account Details
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Six — The Devil's in the Account Details Celiga took a moment to 'be a better host' as he put it. That meant puttering around in the kitchen and refusing any help. While he did that, I tried to do a bit of subtle cleaning. That mostly meant allowing my Cleaning magic to snake along the floor, scooping up and burning away the dust in the crevices of the floor and disappearing small piles of grime from the corners where they would've escaped the reach of a broom, if these floors had felt the sweet caress of a broom within the past couple of months.Clean was one thing, though, and organized was another. I wanted to start putting Celiga's books back into their places on the bookshelves lining the room, but that wouldn't be very polite. Some people found themselves better when they were surrounded by a bit of organized chaos.Eventually, Celiga returned. He had a tray with a steaming kettle on it that released a strangely bitter smell. "Ah, here, let me put this down... hmm."It was interesting that Celiga didn't have the usual grenoil accent when he talked. Then again, he was supposed to be pretty well-travelled, so maybe he'd lost it along the way?There weren't any cleared spaces large enough for a tray, but Calamity picked up a stack of books and carefully set them on the floor. Fortunately, the floor had coincidentally been cleaned up just moments before."Thank you, my boy," Celiga said. He set the tray down, then looked about. "Tea?" he asked."Sure," I said. "But just a small cup for me."A few others replied with affirmatives, and Celiga started to pour. "You know, I may be a historian and professor, for the moment, but that doesn't mean I spend my day locked up in the stacks burning my eyes out on old tomes. I've done a lot of fieldwork in my day. I've visited many places on the continent-Mattergrove, the Snowlands, Walker's Path-I was once shipwrecked in the Moonstruck Sea, you know? Back before everyone had airships.""We're pretty well-travelled too," I said with a grin."I can see that," he said. "What's a Paladin of Sylphfree doing in Deepmarsh?"Bastion straightened very slightly, which must have been hard seeing how straight he was by default. "I'm on duty," was all he said.Celiga's eyes flicked over to Caprica, who was still wearing her well-pressed Sylphfree Army uniform. "Hmph. Well then. In my time as historian I have had a few people come and seek me out, most with questions that I never had an answer to, but I've never..." He paused as he settled back down into his big armchair. "Never had a group so diverse pay me a visit.""We don't want to impose," I said. "We only just found out where you were. If you want, we can come back another time?" I very pointedly didn't look at all of the wine bottles stacked up on the floor. At least my Cleaning magic had whisked away some of the stains on the floor and the smell of old wine was clearing out.Celiga waved a webbed hand dismissively. "It's fine. What else am I going to do? Keep wallowing? So, where did you first hear of the Black Avatars?""When I first heard of them?" I asked. "Or when each of us did? I think it was at different times.""The latter," he said. "I want to know what brought you to my door, but there's an order to this kind of thing. Sometimes when you start from the start, you have a better idea of why someone wants to know something."I glanced at my friends, then shrugged. "I only heard about the Black avatars recently. Like, in-the-last-few-days recent.""And I've known them as childhood stories," Amaryllis said. "I vaguely recall some mentions of them as I grew up as well, mostly in old wive's tales.""Ah, um, the same," Awen said."Barely heard a thing," Calamity said with a shrug. "Don't do much reading myself, ny'a know? I remember the tales of Black Cat the Black Avatar though!""That one's a myth," Celiga said. "Made up entirely from scratch some ninety years back.""What?!" Calamity yelped."We're here because a really, really mean guy sent us a book about the Black Avatars. It was called, um, Tales of the Black Avatars?""I've read that one," Celiga said. "It's... surprisingly not the worst recounting of the Black Avatars, though it obviously couches everything as myth and legend.""But they're not, right?" I asked.Celiga eyed me, and I saw his froggy pupils focus a little strangely. Had he just inspected me?Before I could think too hard about it, he gave a slow nod. "No ... from all I have seen, all I have deduced and correlated ... all my investigations point to the idea that the Black Avatars were more than mere myths. They walked this earth as surely as you or I." He stared off into space, somewhere over my head. "I started researching the Black Avatars entirely by mistake. I was perusing some old documentation from one of the defunct banks that worked in the Harpy Mountains. Ancient financial records from two, three hundred years ago. Nothing of any great interest to most people, even the noble families that still exist from that time."If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation."I can imagine some being cross with you nonetheless," Amaryllis said.He chuckled. "Too bad. The records were pristine. Old magic keeping the pages dry and the ink fresh. There's a lot you can learn about history just from seeing who has the most gold and what they're using it for. I'm not even talking about anything nefarious. Just your ancestors spending gold on clothes and property and festivals, and earning it back from merchant dealings and other revenue.""What's all that got to do with the Black Avatars?" Calamity asked."I suspect that the good historian is coming to that," Desiree said."Right, sorry.""I was," Celiga confirmed. "In those records, I discovered an account that was peculiar. The records indicated it was practically overflowing with gold. But it wasn't associated with any nobles, or merchants, or even the government. I got curious. I started tracing deposits and withdrawals to see if it might've been secretly associated with the crown or a noble house or something. I turned up nothing.That's not the truly bizarre thing, however. The accounts were created in such a way that anyone could demonstrate proof of membership in the group simply by presenting a certain artifact as visual proof. That specific group, in the very earliest record of the account's opening, identified itself as the Black Avatars.""Is a bank account enough to prove that someone exists?" Amaryllis asked. "I could open one with a false identity.""Sure," Celiga said. "But would you deposit two hundred kilos of gold ingots in that account?"Amaryllis blinked in surprise."Is that a lot?" I asked."It's what my family will make in a decade," she said. "Maybe more than that. The value of gold... hmm, it's not entirely stable, but over so many years... It's enough to buy a small fleet of ships. The largest merchantman airship we have and a pair of escorts, along with crews and... yes Broccoli, it's a lot.""The accounts twigged me onto something," Celiga said. "So I did some searching elsewhere and found similar accounts in other banks. Only the old banks, though, which started to feel a little suspicious. Even banks here in Deepmarsh, that are still active, and some elsewhere as well. Then I started digging deeper into the history of the Black Avatars. It wasn't proof that any of the myths were real, but it was proof that there were people claiming to be the Black Avatars who had a lot of gold to toss around.""Circumstantial," Amaryllis said.Ceglia sniffed. "If you want to debate that, then I certainly can. I was panned by the academic community for 'believing in myths' but I've yet to find someone able to disprove or discredit all of my sources. Now, if the Black Avatars are really what they say they are, that's up to debate still. But that there was a group that claimed the name some time ago? That's less so. There's too much evidence. For all we know, it's nothing more than a group of pranksters with far, far too much wealth, but that doesn't mean that they never existed.""Hmph," Amaryllis huffed lightly. "Forgive me. We did come here to seek out your expertise after all.""That's right. So, you stumbled on an old fairy-tale book, wherever you were, then came all the way here?" he asked. His eyes narrowed. "Tell me, honestly. Are you Black Avatars?""Huh?" I asked."A group of powerful, rich individuals, across a broad spectrum of species," he said with a gesture over us. "Get some black cloaks on and you fit the bill... though I imagined the Black Avatars would be more serious.""We're pretty serious," I said.No one seemed to have heard me, though?"We're not Black Avatars," Caprica said. "We're looking for information on them because we have a... lead of sorts, for an ongoing ... investigation.""I see," Celiga said. He leaned back in his seat and nursed his tea. "I see. Well then, what are you willing to pay?""Pay?" I asked."Money. I had a nice stipend as a professor, and now I find myself a little... underwhelmed by my savings."Caprica rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm sure we can arrange for something. as you mentioned, we're... for all intents and purposes, rich enough.""Good, I do like that about people," Celiga said with a devious smile. "In that case, the Black Avatars... I have a suspicion, something that I never wrote about because it would be far too controversial.""What is it?" Awen asked."Do you know anything about riftwalkers?"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Unpublishable
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Seven — Unpublishable "Why would it ruin your reputation for the Black Avatars to be Riftwalkers?"It was a great question, and one that I was happy to not be the one to ask. I nodded to Calamity, trying to non-verbally thank him for asking in the first place.The mention of Riftwalkers had taken me aback a little. They'd come up here and there as I wandered around Dirt. Rainnewt was one of them, of course, and there had been a few others... that Commodore Megumi lady, for one, and that strange man I'd met not so long ago in that mine.Actually, now that I was thinking about it, most of the Riftwalkers I met were a little... well, not ideal citizens.But maybe those were just the Riftwalkers that stood out? Maybe there was a bunch of them who found a nice farm somewhere and lived out a quiet, idyllic life, or who lived in some city somewhere, paying taxes and... doing whatever normal adults did. Like getting a job and stuff. It was just the louder, more obvious Riftwalkers that stood out."That's... hmm," Celiga started, then paused with a hum. "Your lack of knowledge of the historical community is showing.""How could nya tell?" Calamity asked, then flushed. He cleared his throat and adopted a more serious tone. "Um. That is. What do you mean?"Celiga leaned back in his armchair, then reached over to the side. There was a sort of pouch built into it, and he pulled out a small lacquered box from within. I leaned forward, curious, but when he opened it there was just a pipe in a small inset made for it, next to a small baggy. He started to fill the pipe with some sort of stinky herb. "In the broader community of historians, not just in Deepmarsh, but across the world, there is a... let's call it a fallacy.""What sort?" Caprica asked."Oh, not one of those argumentative ones. It's more of a mistake that a lot of young, inexperienced historians fall into. It's said that if an archaeologist finds something they don't understand, then they'll say it must be ceremonial. Well, if we historians find something we don't understand, we have a tendency to say it must be the fault of a riftwalker.""Really?" I asked."Oh yes. From political assassinations, to peace negotiations, to the discovery of important dungeons. Did you know that Deepmarsh, the city we're in now, is settled atop not one, but three dungeons? It's one of the locations on Dirt with the densest dungeon placement. Three of them, all so close to each other that you could have seen their entrances from one to the next. It's a Riftwalker that discovered them.""Whoa," I said."Indeed. In any case, that leads to a lot of young historians looking for Riftwalkers. They start seeing them in every shadow."Amaryllis huffed a 'I know better' huff. "And I imagine that they don't always find them?""Oh, World no. For every important historical event with a Riftwalker somehow involved, there are three without. But the presence of a Riftwalker is notable and interesting so it stands out.""I believe that I understand," Desiree said. "Your discovery of the veracity of the Black Avatars' existence was already controversial and had stricken you with ridicule. If you then tied your discovery to the presence of Riftwalkers, your delicate reputation would be stomped into the mud, on the grounds that you had sold your soul to a sensationalist history cliche in the hopes of drumming up popular interest."Celiga pointed at her with the stem of his pipe. "Got it in one, strange fox girl," he said. "And besides, I can't exactly go out and publish what's basically an opinion held together by circumstantial evidence at best.""What evidence do you have?" Caprica asked. I'd noticed that she was very much not looking my way. When Celiga first mentioned Riftwalkers, Awen and Calamity both turned to give me a glance, but some of my other friends were a smidge more subtle.Celiga snapped his fingers and created an ember with a little spell. He lit his pipe, slowly puffing out a cloud of... actually, it smelled kind of nice? "So, this is one of those things that I had to leave out of my book, and trust me, I'm not the sort to leave out much. But I did manage to identify at least half a dozen of the Black Avatars. Early on, they weren't making as much effort to disguise their identities.""Oh?" Amaryllis asked."So, there's a man that appeared one day in the eastern reaches of the Trenten flats, next to a very powerful, very dangerous dungeon, one that had been spilling out monsters into the region. One thing led to another, and the early Cervid government wasn't able to take care of that dungeon. This man, however, did.""Was he strong?" I asked."Maybe," Celiga said with a shrug. "I don't often care much for levels and that sort of strength. Plenty of the strongest people on Dirt are carefully minding their own business somewhere quiet, and that's fine enough. I care for those who leave a mark on history. This man's name was Adam Romanov. He had a peculiar class that had to do with dentistry. The dungeon he conquered was known to produce these large, alligator-like lizards that walked on two feet."The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident."Details strange enough to survive a retelling or two," Caprica observed."So, a few years later, Romanov disappeared. But there's a Black Avatar in a group of them who has strange abilities. Would you care to guess?" Celiga asked."He had teeth magic and... lizard bits?" I asked.Celiga nodded. "Just so! There's a half-dozen stories not too dissimilar to that. Strange coincidences that stretch the definition of coincidence. Now, keep in mind that these are records that date back a century, sometimes two or three. They're prone to error, sometimes written in archaic forms, and often there aren't second and third sources to corroborate things, but that Adam fellow is one of six Riftwalkers that I can place as a member of the Black Avatars.""How many Black Avatars are there, overall?" Calamity asked.Celiga shrugged. "We tried to track that. But the fact is, there might have been as many as three groups of them travelling across Dirt at one time, and their membership numbers seemed to change. And some were more... subtle than others. I can't say. Over the course of three hundred years? I'd say as few as twenty, as many as two hundred.""That's a wide range," Amaryllis said."It is what it is," Celiga said. "My most reasonable estimate suggests that there have been at least fifty members active at one time. That being about two hundred and fifty years ago, when they were at their busiest. That's when we have decent records showing at least three groups claiming to be Black Avatars in different places at more or less the same time, with different group compositions. These ranged from three to seven members.""That doesn't add up to fifty," Calamity said.Celiga sniffed. "That's a guess based on another historical precedent. There have been knights and paladins of some power in the past, wandering heroes, and Explorers more recently. They rarely travel on their own. For every powerful member of one of these groups, there's always one or two other members that are with them. Lower-levelled people, there to help and assist."So... if I was comparing the Black Avatars to my friend's group-not that we were particularly powerful or anything-then my friends would be the Avatars, and the Scallywags and the Beaver's crew would be these other members?"They didn't travel alone, then?" I asked.He shook his head. "Sometimes, maybe. But often they'd come in as part of a caravan, or aboard a ship in coastal regions. One of those ships is actually the easiest Black Avatar entity to track. The Black Sail of the Lost Orient.""Ships, even archaic sailing ones, should leave quite the paper trail," Amaryllis said with a nod. "Creatively adjusting so many of our port records has been an expensive endeavor."I blinked. "Wait, what?""What?" Amaryllis asked. "We have people that aren't fond of us, Broccoli. Do you think I'd leave such an obvious trail behind? The Beaver is already a strange and somewhat memorable ship. We don't need to leave hints on top of that. Besides, the documentation is technically legally valid."I stared at her, mouth open. We were committing crimes?!"Have... we been committing fraud this entire time?" Caprica asked."Not fraud... creative accounting," Amaryllis said."Awa, isn't that just another word for fraud?" Awen asked.Celiga chuckled. "You're an interesting bunch, I'll give you that. So, is there anything else I can tell you about the Black Avatars? Based on what little real knowledge I have, I mean.""Where are they now?" I asked."Wait, what?" Calamity asked. "Nya think they're still around?"Not going to ask if they're even real, first?" Amaryllis asked.I shrugged. "It feels like they're something we could be, so I don't see why they can't be real. And a hundred plus years isn't that long ago, right? People live long if they have higher levels, right? And there's like... elves and stuff that live longer too. They could still be around."Celiga snorted. "Well, to answer your question ... I think I do know," he said, which honestly surprised me. "But it's hardly somewhere a normal person can reach without a few challenges along the way. Else I'd have visited the space myself.""Where, then?" Caprica asked. She was still giving Amaryllis a look, but seemed just as curious as I was."No, first, I ought to tell you what I know. And why I never went there myself."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Fortress of Solitude
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Eight — Fortress of Solitude Celiga shifted in his seat. "I've mentioned how I started to look into the Black Avatars some time ago, yes? Well, initially there was a lot of scepticism, on my own part most of all. The last sightings are only a little over a hundred years ago. That means that... well, frankly speaking, that's recent history. That far back means that there are people still alive who might have been present.""So you asked them?" I wondered."Obviously," he said. "And they confirmed something for me. The idea that the Black Avatars are a myth doesn't make sense. There are so many pieces of circumstantial evidence, and so many people that encountered one or the other... it might be the kind of thing that gets surrounded by misconceptions over time, but the historical validity shouldn't be questioned.""And yet, it seems to be," Desiree mused."Exactly," Celiga said. He waved his pipe around. "I started to suspect a grand conspiracy, but if learning about history has taught me one thing, it's that conspiracies are rarely grand. They're usually out in the open. The 'open' in question just tends to be the open halls of a royal ballroom or a noble's parlour."Amaryllis snorted. "Conspiracy is what people on the outside call it when they're not aware of the people pulling the strings. Convenience is what you call it when those tugging the strings are peers."Celiga harrumphed. "Maybe, maybe so. In any case, there are other powerful groups out there that we know to be historical fact. The Band of the Owl Cloth, for example.""The who?" I asked."They're a band of cloth merchants turned explorers and adventurers," Celiga said. "Or rather, a group of the former hired by the latter. They explored and exploited a dozen dungeons at the foot of the Harpy Mountains some three hundred years ago and became quite rich from it before disbanding over some internal scuffle. Or the Order of the Southern Aurora.""Ah!" Desiree said. She stood up straighter. "I know of these.""You do?" I asked. Desiree often seemed to know ... well, about as much as I did, and I was literally from a different world. In her case, she was from some land across the ... southern ocean.I realized why she might know about this Southern Aurora Order thing at the same moment she started speaking."Yes," she replied with a nod. "They were a circle of wandering knights, set on reaching the far south. Were they foxkin such as I, surely there wouldn't be a single one without at least three tails upon them."Celiga stared at her for a moment. "The Order was a group of knights, mostly from Pyrowalk. Some of them went on to be founding members of the Mattergrove nobility. They also had a number of Ostri members. They're not well-known here, but they did leave their mark on the continent. Again, another group of high-levelled, multi-classed individuals from a long time ago.""Would the Paladins count as such as well?" Caprica asked with a glance towards Bastion.The historian nodded. "Of course. However, the Paladins are an existing organization. I could point to the Exploration Guild, or the Royal Guardians of Deepmarsh as well, but no one doubts that they exist because they're still active. The Order of the Southern Aurora and the Band of the Owl Cloth no longer exist, they're part of history, but their validity isn't questioned."Celiga gestured with his pipe like he was accusing an entire university class of unbelievable foolishness. "The Black Avatars should be just as accepted history, only they're considered a myth. It doesn't add up.""Hense your suspicion of a conspiracy," Amaryllis said."Ah, could it be something else?" Awen asked. A few of us turned her way, and she hesitated a moment before elaborating. "Um, see, that band and the order, they're important to a nation, and they have people who consider them ancestors. What if the Black Avatars aren't linked to any nation, and don't have, uh, children left."Celiga hummed. "A possibility. Some small organizations disappear and most mention of them fade away as well. The bakery two floors down isn't a national staple, and when it closes down one day, no one will remember their meat tarts.""That's kind of sad," I said."History remembers the big things and strange things," Celiga said. "Peaceful times are oft forgotten, though they are the best to live in. Ah, but yes, the Black Avatars. The conspiracy ld me to digging further. It felt, at times, like I was pitting my skills as a Historian against someone trying to disguise the truth.""And what did you find?" I asked."Earlier, I mentioned their ship, the Black Sail of the Lost Orient.""Yup," I said."Well, we were able to chart its comings and goings. Ports tend to have long memories and longer paper trails. A few letters sent to colleagues across the sea and we had a good picture of where the ship had been. Then one of my peers in the Endless Swells mentioned that if I wanted to find out more about the Black Avatars, I could just visit their old fortress.""They just... have a fortress?" Amaryllis asked. "We could have just flown there! It would have saved us all this questing around."Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website."That's how I felt!" Celiga said. "I was never angrier in my life. I packed my bags as soon as I confirmed its location, blew my research budget for the next three years hiring an airship, and took off.""Did you find it?" I asked.Celiga bit the end of his pipe and sat back down. "No. But also, yes."Amaryllis crossed her wings. "Can you be any less specific?"He nodded, then with a grunt of effort, stood. "I took pictures," he said. "We had a camera operator from the university with us. I have some of the originals here."We watched as Celiga looked around through some old books, then he returned with an album of sorts. It looked handmade, leatherbound and filled with photos clipped into pages. Opening it up, he leafed through a dozen photos, all in a sort of brownish-sepia colour, until he came about a full-page picture that he turned towards us.I leaned in.Curving along from one side of the photograph to the other was the shore of an island, or maybe a peninsula. Near the shoreline, a few small buildings were clustered around a lake. Small stone ones that looked like they belonged nest to a castle instead of this remote stretch of coastline."I don't often see lakes that are so ... squarish." Calamity frowned.Huh. He was right. The corners were all regular right angles."I think ..." Awen started. "I think this was a ... basement? Did someone demolish the building on top of it?"It kind of did look that way. An irregular, square-cut lake, with edges that looked like they could be stone blocks draped in overgrowth. Some of the buildings even ran right up to the edge, like they were once part of something greater."What are we looking at, exactly?" Caprica asked."This is on a small island just off the northern coast of the Silverstar Forest. Not too far from the city of Southerfell," he explained. "The people of Southerfell have their own myths and stories about the Black Avatars, including how the Avatars purchased a great deal of stone and furniture and hired some locals to work on some grand project that they were sworn to secrecy about.""Wait," Calamity said. "Are nya saying that they built themselves a big old fortress and then it... what, poofed one morning?""Close enough," Celiga said. "The story goes that one day, a great storm began to brew around the island. As the winds turned harsh, fishermen came to shore for safety, and families sought shelter in their houses. But a few brave souls kept watch, waiting for the storm to either end or worsen. And so they saw, illuminated by the flash of lightning, the vast fortress of the Black Avatars shift against the gloom. It was merely a dark shape amidst the driving rain, but still they witnessed it rise up into the swirling clouds, never to be seen again."The historian puffed on his pipe."All those witnesses were quite old by the time I interviewed them, of course. But they all swore that's what happened. And other islanders agree that the fortress vanished after a great storm.""Impossible," Amaryllis said. "Trust me, I know how much lift would be required for such a thing. A fortress, made of stone? You'd need ... well it depends on the size of the fortress. But it would be some ridiculous number like a thousand of the best lift engines in the world. Modern lift engines-so even more if you're using the garbage that they had back then. That's bad enough, but the fuel requirements would be obscene. Where would they even get it? They'd need some giant secret refinery, then tankers to transport it... and the balloon! It would be the size of an island, and of course it would be torn apart by the storm you're describing."Celiga tapped the edge of the photograph. "I would agree with you, Lady Amaryllis. By every current measure we have, such a feat should be impossible. And yet, there is evidence that something did happen.""What kind of evidence?" I asked.He smiled thinly. "The hole. If you examine the surrounding stone, you'll notice cut marks, clean ones. The sort is only made by careful construction, not by natural erosion or a collapse. The foundation stones are still there, precisely where they would need to be to support a fortress. It's as if the entire structure was lifted clean off its base."Amaryllis scowled, her wings rustling behind her. "Or it was dismantled block by block."Celiga nodded slowly. "That would be the logical conclusion. Except there are no records of any such deconstruction, no debris-not even on the seabed, I had a hydromancer check-no ruins beyond what you see here. And the legends are strangely consistent, even in neighbouring towns.""I don't care if you were an eyewitness yourself, that's not possible with current technologies," Amaryllis said. "I'm not dismissing it as entirely impossible. There are methods of flight that are not yet understood, natural spells more efficient than what modern mages can reproduce exist, but... but it sounds exceptionally far-fetched to the point of stretching credulity beyond the breaking point."I was a little more inclined to believe that it was true, though. After all, I lived on a flying boat, which was also impossible back home, so a flying fortress? Why not? That sounded awesome! "Can you give us the coordinates to that island?" I asked. "Maybe we can go see for ourselves?"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Our Separate Ways
Chapter Five Hundred and Thirty-Nine — Our Separate Ways "Did you want to come with us?" I asked.It was probably... definitely a little premature. We hadn't agreed that we'd be going out to visit that island yet, but I was going to try to convince my friends to go and check it out, at least. Still, if we did go, maybe Celiga would want to come?The old grenoil chewed on the end of his pipe while eyeing me carefully. "If you had asked me just five years ago, I'd be packing my bags," he said."Do you have something else planned?" Awen asked."No," he said. "But neither do I have the energy of a young tadpole. I... appreciate your visit. It's been some time since I was able to enjoy teaching some history, even if it's on such a strange subject.""Are you sure?" I asked. "You seem like the kind of person that would make a good friend!"Celiga Duport-PercierDreams: To leave a legacy in the art of History that he can be proud of.Desired Quality: Someone who will listen."I'm sure," he said. "I have a few accounts to settle here, in Deepmarsh." he reached over and touched a stack of papers on one of the end tables nearby. He chuckled. "Actually, I think your visit cleared the cobwebs a little. I've been drinking myself towards an early grave. I still have a bit of kick left in me, and I intend to aim that towards a few backsides.""I see," Caprica said. "Well, I wish you the best of luck.""You might be better off sending that kick towards the Harpy Mountains. I can't imagine it'll come out well here," Amaryllis said."Good point," he said. "Maybe I will make one final trip after all. Call it a last big vacation and an early retirement. That'll wag a few tongues, but I think the people that have it out for me might back off on hearing it."I wasn't sure what was going on, or what they meant, but I did get the feeling that our time here was coming to an end.I thanked Celiga, then took the dishes he had laying around to his kitchen... and since no one was looking, I blasted the place with some Cleaning magic. His sink was so messy, and there were old cobwebs all over and a layer of dust on his shelves. The historian was starting to look like history. Or at least his home was.We thanked him at length, then made our departure, which is when I turned towards Caprica and Amaryllis to ask. "What was that about, in the end, about kicks and stuff?""Oh, that," Caprica said. "It seems like the old historian wants to go out with a bang, as it were. I imagine that he's stumbled across a lot of inconvenient facts. Some of these he likely published which earned him the trouble he's in now, the forced retirement and such. But I imagine he's kept just as many secrets to himself.""And now," Amaryllis continued. "With no career to maintain, and the community turning against him, he has nothing to lose. No more bridges to burn. It would be impossible to publish those ideas here in Deepmarsh, but in the Harpy Mountains, well ... a new book appears, published by a famous historian after he fled the persecution of one of our rivaling nations; a book filled with salacious indelicacies that skewers the decadent foreign nobility. I'm sure it would sell ... sensationally." She grinned. "Especially if, now that he is beyond the reach of his rivals, he rakes them over the coals. They'll seethe.""Oh, that's, uh, not very nice," I said."The world of academia isn't very nice, Broccoli," Amaryllis said. "I'd rather deal with pirates than academics. At least the pirates only stab you."I pursed my lips, but didn't say anything about it. I supposed Celiga was allowed to do that kind of thing, if he wanted to. "What about the island?" I asked."I'm down for that," Calamity said. "Big ol' mysterious island sounds neat, and I've never seen the sea from up close before. I heard there's fish in there, and fish are delicious.""I have, and I believe that you have yet to learn of the fear and respect even a sea deserves," Desiree said. "But yes, I would also like to take part in this voyage. A fortress that took flight one fine stormy day seems like an interesting story."Bastion cleared his throat.We all turned to look at him, but his gaze was fixed on Caprica... or the back of Caprica's head, as she was very pointedly not looking in his direction. "I'm somewhat well-read when it comes to cartography, and I couldn't help but notice that the coordinates to this island that historian Celiga gave are very much to the west of here."Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings."Far to the west, yes," Amaryllis said. "About four day's flight, assuming the winds aren't counter to us.""Four days west, which is about four days of flying in the opposite direction as Sylphfree," he said."We never came to any specific agreement with regards to when, exactly, I'd be returning to Sylphfree," Caprica said."It was implied," he said."Implications only matter in flirting, and you weren't flirting with me-unfortunately-you were pressing me to return home," Caprica said. She crossed her arms and raised her princessly nostrils up.I clapped my hands. "We should talk about it over supper!" I declared. Food had a way of bringing people together, and maybe that's what we needed?I wasn't afraid to admit that I was afraid of losing my friends. If Caprica left, then so would Bastion, and that would leave a big hole in our crew, wouldn't it? I made a mental note to talk to her later, once we were back at the Beaver.Fortunately (or unfortunately) the issue was postponed by talking about food, at least for a little bit. There was an argument brewing amongst my friends, with two camps. One was headed by Amaryllis, and the other, surprisingly, by Awen.Amaryllis wanted to find a nice harpy restaurant. She said that there had to be one somewhere in the capital city, and that at least there we'd be able to eat normal food. Well, normal harpy food.Awen's camp was more about trying out some of the local stuff, since we were here. We'd tried some grenoil things in Port Royal, but not frequently, and this was the biggest city in the nation. They had to have some really good cooks and great local dishes too!I was happy to eat anything-well, I guess I'd like to avoid bugs. Unfortunately, the grenoil really did like their bugs. Oh, and I also needed to avoid meat because buns weren't great at handling meat. But! Other than that, I was sure whatever food we found would be amazing.So, I stayed out of the argument, and cheered on both sides to keep their morale up. That earned me a huff from Amaryllis, which I considered a win.We mostly just ended up walking around, getting lost in the big building we were in, then stopping by the first food place we found, which happened to be a slightly-pricey restaurant on the topmost floor of one of the buildings. It was fusion cuisine, which really just meant that the place was run by a couple, one a grenoil, the other an ostri, and they were trying to remake local foods with a bit more of a spicy kick to them.It was a bit of a lot of spice for me. My Canadian palate was more... sugars and sweets, and less desert spices and what might have been insect meat. If I didn't ask, then I would never know and it would be fine.I still tried a bit of everything, and was impressed by Awen's ability to eat food so spicy that just smelling it made my eyes water.Calamity put on a brave face, but he was crying by the end.We lingered there a while, watching the sun start to dip through the windows. Deepmarsh was still lit with that heavy golden glow that came before dusk, and for a moment, it was peaceful. The tension that had been brewing between everyone seemed to mellow, just a little, under the comfort of a shared meal.Eventually, we paid our bill-thanks to Caprica's bottomless royal purse-and stepped back out into the streets, full and a little tired. The kind of tiredness that comes after a long talk and a lot of thinking.We made our way back to the Beaver Cleaver at an easy pace, our bellies full and our minds still half-occupied with spices and quiet thoughts. Deepmarsh's corridor-streets were quieter now, the day's bustle dimming into the soft murmur of evening.By the time we reached the ship, the lights were on inside and the gangplank was lowered, as if the Beaver had been waiting for us, just like always."Hey, Caprica?" I asked, stepping up beside her.She glanced over, one eyebrow raised."Do you think we could talk later? Just the two of us?"She didn't answer right away. For a second I thought she might say no, or do that royal thing where she pretended I hadn't said anything at all. But then she gave me a small nod."I'd like that," she said. "Later tonight?""Perfect," I said, even though my stomach twisted a little. I wasn't sure what I was going to say yet, but I figured I'd come up with something.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty — Love Matters
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty — Love Matters "So, you wanted to talk?" Caprica asked.We'd made it to the Beaver... eventually. It took a bit of getting lost before that, but we did make it back. By then, the sun was set, but it was pretty much winter, so that wasn't anything too special, the sun was setting pretty early.Caprica and I, as well as a few others, were in the dining area of the ship. Calamity was recounting the day's adventure to the Scallywags who'd had their own mini-adventure out in the docks, trying out local foods and daring each other to eat the biggest, juiciest bugs they found for sale.I smiled and nodded. "Yup! It's nothing too serious. Um, maybe in your room? Or up on deck, if you want?""The deck would be nice," Caprica said as she made for the door. "No, Bastion, I'm not fleeing, and this sounds like a private thing, you can stay here." The last was, obviously, aimed at Bastion, who'd started to stand from his seat. He paused, then nodded and sat back down.I supposed that the Beaver was a relatively safe space, even at dock.I followed Caprica to the rear of the ship in companionable silence, then up the stairs and onto the portside main deck. It had been a warm, muggy day, but as soon as the stars came out, it had cooled down quick-the air was chilly and humid. I took in a deep lungful, let it warm up inside me, then exhaled it slowly as a wispy trail of vapour. Just cold enough for that, which was nice."Reminds me of home," Caprica said. "The cold air, I mean. Though home is a lot dryer than here.""Yeah. I like the cold too. I guess Sylphfree is colder all year round?""Indeed," she said before she made her way to one of the seats next to the rails. She sat down, then stretched back to spy at the stars around the ship's balloon. Only the brightest were showing. Deepmarsh wasn't as well-lit as an ordinary city, but there were lights around masking the stars. "What did you want to talk about, Broccoli?""Hmm... I don't know where to start," I said honestly. "But I guess it's like a band-aid.""A what?"I giggled. "These little... plaster things that you put on small cuts. They're sticky, with a pad in the middle that absorbs blood. They keep boo-boos clean, but they hurt when you rip them off. We have an expression about them. It hurts less if you just take it off quickly, instead of picking away at it.""I think I see what you mean," she said. "So, I suppose... rip away? I already know what you want to say to me."I blinked. "You do?"She nodded, then her head tilted down, and her shoulders hunched up, like she was dreading what was coming next. "You want me off the Beaver.""... Huh? No I don't," I said.I think something in my tone must have conveyed how surprised and confused and a little bit hurt I was, because she looked up to me right away. "You don't? Broccoli, this... this kind of meeting is how you deliver bad news! Wait, is it something worse?""No! I just wanted to talk in private. I mean, I guess it's a little sensitive, but it's not bad. Not really?""Oh... well, I've made a fool of myself, then," she said.I paused for a moment, then giggled. "Just a bit?"She huffed in a very Amaryllis-like way, though she didn't quite have the touch. "You're supposed to be comforting, I think.""Sorry," I said. "But... yeah, I did want to talk." I moved over and sat next to her, then scooted to the side until our hips bumped. "It's, ah, it really is a delicate thing.""'Rip the bandage'... or however your saying goes."I nodded, then adjusted one of my floppier ears (the right one) back up straighter. "It's about Bastion," I said.She tensed up. "You have a crush on him and are madly in love," she declared."No? I mean, he's cute, I guess. He has a nice rugged chin.""His chin?" Caprica repeated."But yeah, I mostly wanted to talk about your crush.""What crush?" Caprica asked. I suspected that she had a skill that helped her keep a diplomatically expressionless face, or maybe it was just practice, but her expression remained unnaturally neutral.I shifted to the side a bit, my upper arm bumping against her shoulder. It was strange, most of the time I didn't notice it, but sitting next to her... Caprica was tiny. Sitting down, the top of her head only barely came up to my shoulder, though her wings were taller than me, even folded up."Your crush on Bastion.""I do not know what you're talking about, Captain Bunch."Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site."Too formal," I said.Caprica crossed her arms. "I don't have a crush on Paladin Bastion," she said.I placed a hand over my mouth as a giggle escaped me. "Caprica..." I said.Caprica stiffened. "I meant... as an example. I could also be denying a crush on Calamity, for example, or, or Clive.""Isn't he like, the age of your dad?" I asked. Not to be mean to Clive, he was a great pilot and a good friend, but he was a bit... senior compared to all my other friends."Well, maybe I like older men!" Caprica said."I mean, yeah, obviously. Bastion's way older than you," I said."Only a few years," Caprica said, then she blushed all the way to the tips of her ears. "Argh! Please tell me I'm not so obvious.""You're not so obvious," I lied. I didn't like lying to my friends, but she had asked.For some reason, Caprica covered her face and groaned. Was my lie not convincing? "Everyone knows," she moaned. "Bastion... does he know?"I reached an arm around her shoulders. "I actually don't know," I said. "I mean, I'm sure he thinks you're fond of him, but maybe he just thinks that he's your favourite Paladin?""He is," she said before slowly uncovering her face. "Broccoli, what do I do? I love him so much, and he barely even looks at me.""I'm sure he thinks you're very pretty," I said."That's not what I mean!" she pouted in a very princess-y way. "Am I not feminine enough for him? I tried to look as pretty as possible in Sylphfree. I wore dresses, did my makeup, took care of my hair and skin, and barely a glance.""Oh, Caprica, boys don't notice it when girls make a lot of effort to be pretty. Only other girls notice that," I said.Caprica groaned again and let her head fall back against the edge of the railing with a soft bonk. "That's so unfair," she muttered, staring blankly up at the stars. "Why go to all the trouble if the person I'm doing it for doesn't even realize?""Because you want to," I said. "And because you deserve to feel pretty and confident and good about yourself, even if no one else notices.""That's not the point," she said. "I want him to notice. Not everyone else. I don't want to be admired by strangers, or have other girls compliment my hair. I want him to stop treating me like I'm still twelve and made of glass."I leaned a little into her side. "Then maybe you need to show him that you're not."She gave me a look. "How do I do that, exactly? Start flexing in front of him? Challenge him to a duel?""Could work," I said with a grin. "You're pretty good with a sword, right?""I'm good, but he's amazing." Caprica let out a dreamy sigh. "If he took me seriously, I would get my butt handed to me.""Well, I think it's less about martial prowess and more about impressing him as a, ah, peer? Maybe? I don't know how Bastion thinks, but maybe he'll spend less time thinking of you as someone he needs to protect and more time thinking of you as a friend if you need less protection?"Caprica considered it. "To be his peer would mean being as strong as him, Broccoli. As strong as a Royal Paladin. I've been working on that for years now!""You could also just tell him how you feel," I suggested."I think I'll start training to become stronger right now," Caprica said after gulping."You don't have to pour your heart out in a love letter sealed with rose petals or anything. Just... tell him you like him. Invite him to go for a walk, or watch the stars, or punch a monster together. Something casual.""I don't think Bastion does casual.""Then do serious," I said. "You're good at that."She opened her mouth to protest, then stopped. Thoughtful. "Maybe... maybe I'll try."I nodded. "That's all you need to do."We stayed up there a little longer, turning to look out over the water beyond Deepmarsh. A wispy fog covered the lowlands, glowing softly in places from the lights of the surrounding villages and a few adventurous boats. Overhead, a scattering of brave stars shone through the city's glare. The night was quiet, gentle, like a held breath. Caprica leaned against my side again, and I let her, happy to offer what warmth I could."I'm glad you didn't want to kick me off the ship," she said softly."Why would I ever want that?" I asked. "You're part of the crew."She smiled, eyes closed. "Still... it's nice to hear."I reached up and gently tugged one of her braids. "If you ever need to talk again, I'll be here. Even if it's just about Bastion's chin."Caprica gave a soft laugh. "Especially if it's about that."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-One — Go West Young Bun
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-One — Go West Young Bun We could have left early the next morning... but it would be a bit lame to come all this way and then leave less than 24 hours later. Besides, once we started to think about it, it wasn't hard to come up with valid excuses to put off our departure until the early evening.For one, I wanted to take the whole crew out for a nice lunch. Something like a mini-party. That involved finding a nice eatery not too far from the docks that could handle all of us at once on such short notice.In the meantime, there were other things to take care of in the morning. Amaryllis wanted updated maps for the region around the Ostri desert, and Awen wanted to check the Beaver's... everything, really.We had a few bits that needed maintenance, because airships seemed to always need some amount of that, and Awen warned us that if we were heading west and near the Ostri desert, then we'd definitely need better filters for the engine and some additional equipment and water.Bastion had some suggestions as well, which led to him and Caprica heading out to buy some loose-fitting clothes that would better serve to wick off the heat. They came back mostly empt— handed though. That kind of stuff wasn't popular in Deepmarsh.It wasn't like they had deserts here. The entire country was basically one big swamp.Amaryllis' and Awen's initiatives worked out better. Amaryllis popped over to the Deepmarsh branch of the Exploration Guild with Calamity and returned a few silver poorer but with a tube container filled with detailed aeronautical maps of the region.In the meantime, Desiree and Ifound and booked the entire back of a restaurant, with enough seating for the entire crew. We also hired some guards from the docks to keep an eye on the ship while we were gone, just in case. That had been Amaryllis' idea, though. I was too trusting, according to her.We came back just in time to fetch everyone, then it was party time!A rather subdued party, actually.The Scallywags knew how to have a good time, and Gordon brought a little banjo-like instrument along to play some tunes for dancing to, but too many of my friends were the shy, introverted sort that didn't know how to just let loose and goof off.That was okay, though, it meant that there was a slight split in the group, half of us dancing and clapping and making merry, while the other half watched, enjoying the food and having highbrow conversations about ... taxes, I guess.Somehow, we ended up back at the Beaver four hours later than we had planned and half the crew was a little bit inebriated and all of us were stuffed full of local foods that we just had to try.Still, we were all there, and enough of us were sober to get the ship unmoored from the docks and moving along.We flew west.The first night was mostly getting out of the airspace around Deepmarsh. Unfortunately, the winds kept shifting, coming first from the north, then from the south at a bit of an angle. It was a weird twisty air current that we either had to fight through or slow down to handle, and it was easier to just slow down.By the time the next morning came, we were still so close to the capital that I could make out the lights around the city against the morning sky.Still, the next day wasn't all bad. We gained some altitude, gained some speed, and soon were cruising at a respectable clip towards the south west.The fastest route to where we wanted to go actually had us skirting the shore and riding along an ocean-side air current that would have us skimming past a port city called Fort Tempete and then heading past the Darkwoods and towards Needleford.I'd been there before, to Needleford. It was where Awen was kidnapped for the second time, and where we met the Scallywags.I had time to ask the three of them if they wanted to return to their old home, but they seemed more than happy to stay on with the Beaver's crew. They were learning a lot about adventuring, making steady progress with their levels, and visiting the occasional dungeon, which wasn't an opportunity that they might otherwise get.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.Their plans had changed a little, actually. Now all three of them were planning on eventually joining the Exploration Guild. They had a decent resumé now, having worked with us for a couple of months, but we could make it even better!Speaking of levels and the like, I decided to train up my own.Mana Regeneration and Thick Skin were taking a while to get there, but I did have access to one entire Paladin, and Paladins were very chivalrous.I asked Bastion to help me train my Chivalry skill, and we ended up using Caprica as a guinea pig to test the skill on.Mostly, that involved me walking up to her, bowing, and doing things like helping her across imaginary puddles or giving her my arm to walk more steadily.I think she only volunteered because Bastion would show me how to do it with her first, and that involved hanging off his arm and acting like a 'proper lady' around him, but Bastion was too professional to notice her batting her eyes at him.Poor Caprica.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Chivalry skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C is a free rank!But not poor Broccoli!I was actually getting to the point where most of the skills I had were levelled to the point where I'd need to spend skill points to get them freed up for more levelling.It took the rest of the day to make it to the shore near Fort Tempete, and from there, we coasted westwards through the night.The next day, we sailed past the southernmost edge of the Darkwoods, where the thick forest tried hard to cling to some rocky terrain next to the ocean. Desiree said that if we flew a few hours south, we might be able to see her home way out in the distance, but she was happy to continue with us.By early evening of the second day, we made it to Needleford.I hadn't had the nicest experience in that city, so we swooped in quick, docked, and restocked on food, water, and fuel, all without stepping off the ship unless it was necessary, then took off again, this time aiming straight west towards the open ocean and skirting around the south of the Seven Points.We weren't going to stop by Port Hazel, the capital of Mattergrove. Instead, we refuelled so that we could make a straight flight all the way to what passed for a capital city for the ostri.The Ostri Desert's ostri people were always friendly and respectful to me, but I was a little worried about visiting their desert's only city.Its name was Come Here and Die, which I found to be a less than welcoming thing to call your home city.Why couldn't they name it something nice and welcoming? Happysands, or Come Here and Try Our Yummy Desert Fruit?Apparently there was some historical reason for the name, but I never got to hear the full thing.In any case, we had two days of sailing ahead of us. The season was cold, but that also meant that the winds were calm and somewhat predictable around these parts. We'd be flying into the warmer wind coming off the top of the Ostri desert, but that was fine! If anything, a bit of warmth would be nice.I was looking forward to arriving at Come Here and Die, too! Ostri food was super spicy, but also very yummy, and every ostri I met was cordial and polite.Flying over the ocean was weird. For a while, we couldn't see any land at all, just endless lapping waves below and the open skies above. We did get to see some flying whales dip down close to the water for a drink at some point, and some normal whales swimming just under the surface in big schools of darkened shapes.Two days later, we spotted land once more.It wasn't the lush green of the fields around Mattergrove, or the deeper green of the Darkwoods, or even the muddy browns of the Deepmarsh swamps, but an endless sea of golden-yellow sand.We'd made it to the Ostri desert, and from here, we were only one big stop away from our final destination!Come Here and Die would be our next stop, then, we'd sail straight towards that island that Professor Celiga had talked about!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Two — Come Here Alive
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Two — Come Here Alive "Broccoli!"I jumped, jolting so hard from the surprise that I almost bonked my head against the ceiling. "Yes?" I squeaked.I was in my room, repacking some things since I had a few minutes to spare and the sailing had been pretty quiet for most of the day. I was mostly trying to figure out how to dress to deal with the upcoming desert heat. The clothes I normally wore were pretty warm, but I had some things that were a bit lighter."Ah, um, sorry," Awen said from the doorway. "Were... were you changing?""No no," I said with a little wave. "I'm dressed! Come in?"Awen just stuck her head in and glanced me up and down. I was in a more flowy skirt that I'd picked up... somewhere, and a loose blouse. I'd really rather be wearing my armour and normal stuff, but it was warm. Even so high up in the air it felt like the temperature was edging into the upper thirties.Or... hmm, what did they use to measure temperatures on Dirt? It probably wasn't celsius. I really hoped it wasn't fahrenheit."Just wanted to let you know that we can see the city," Awen said. "It's just on the horizon, but we're getting closer. Clive has changed our heading a little as well, to better aim for it.""Oh! That's great news," I said. "What's it look like?""Right now? Just a bit of metal on the horizon," Awen said. "Want to see?""Of course!" I swept up my captain's hat, then rushed out onto the main deck with Awen in tow. Come Here and Die was, for the moment, just a lot of glimmering points in the distance, but as we approached midday and slowly drew closer, the points turned into the rooftops of large, fat towers, and then the rest of the city came poking out of the desert mirage that wavered over the sandy grounds.Come Here and Die was a massive, sprawling city. It might even have been the biggest city I'd seen yet, though a lot of that was just how much space they had.The outer edges were filled with gardens and vineyards, rows and rows of trees climbing up and over soft hillsides, lending a bit of green to the brown and sandy yellow of the desert.At first, I trained a spyglass on the city, but it was hardly better than squinting at it with my bare eyes. I rarely used it and couldn't keep the image steady. Awen made a better one on the spot by shaping Glass Magic into a bunch of giant floating lenses. They bent the light into an image so clear that I couldn't help but think they were using more than just regular physics. It let us see the homes of the city. Most were squat, round-walled buildings, made of some sort of brownish yellow brick, but a few, I noticed, had large exterior walls that showed off impressively large interior spaces that were definitely dug into the earth.They had built their homes into the ground!It made sense, it was probably much cooler a few feet below the sand, and having larger homes meant better ventilation, probably. A few of those neat little spells that moved the air around like we saw in Deepmarsh could probably keep a modest-sized home feeling relatively cool.I squinted as I saw something slowly moving above one of the stranger buildings along the middle... I supposed it was a 'ring' of the city, though it didn't seem like it was that organized."Does that look like a huge cannon to you?" I asked Awen."Um," she said. "Um..."It did look a lot like a really big gun. In fact, now that I was looking, there seemed to be a few of those, at least seven of them, positioned here and there around the city, and I imagined that there might be more that we couldn't see yet on account of being too far away. Three of those seven looked like they were turning our way."Should we... do evasive manoeuvres yet?" I asked."I don't think cannons can reach this far," Awen said."Are you sure?" I asked. "I haven't seen a lot of them, to be fair, but they could be magical somehow."We decided to get a second opinion, specifically from Amaryllis who squinted at the distant guns, then scoffed. "Those are ground artillery pieces. They can't hit us up here. I'd be more worried about those flyers over there."With that, she pointed to the side.I snapped my attention that way, then gasped. There were three forms taking to the sky and slowly gaining altitude as they spun in ever-increasing circles. Airplanes!Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.We'd seen some way, way out west-rocket powered gliders that were able to fly for quite a while, but these looked a bit more like the kind of aircraft I was used to back on Earth... somewhat.They were biplanes, with wings that were shaped a bit like a V. A tiny engine sat in the crook of the V spinning up a large propeller at the rear of the plane.There was no real cockpit, or fuselage. Instead, the pilot, a tall ostri in tight clothes, was sitting in what looked like a wicker chair, and opposite him were two more hanging off the wires and lines between the upper and lower wing."Clive, turn us forty-five degrees port!" I called back. We weren't going to aim straight for the city while people were flying over."Should I deploy my turret?" Awen asked."I hope we won't need it," I said."That really doesn't answer her question, does it?" Amaryllis asked."Uh, maybe just be ready to deploy it? I'm sure this is just a welcoming committee?" I said.The three biplanes actually took forever to gain any altitude and reach our height. I could see why people on Dirt still preferred airships. Eventually, though, they were at about our level and raced our way, outpacing any airship as they shot forwards with a noise not unlike a trio of angry wasps, trailing thin vapours behind them.The crew was mostly on deck by the time they arrived and started to circle the Beaver Cleaver.I had picked up the semaphore flags by then, and waved through a quick greeting, but I didn't get a response.Then someone jumped off one of the biplanes.I gasped, but the tall osti spun over themselves in the air, then kicked off nothing and shot towards the Beaver. They landed on the main deck in a roll, then easily bounced up and onto their feet, as if this was the most normal thing in the world for them.As they stood, I found that I had to strain my neck to see their eyes.The ostri were humanoids, with long limbs and long torsos, but their arms and legs always seemed a big gangly to me, and very bony. It didn't help that a lot of ostri liked to wear these tight wraps over all of their limbs that made them look even skinnier. This one was maybe on the shorter side, for an ostri, which meant that their eye level was even with the middle of my ears. They had a pair of belts around their lower waist, long, curved knives hanging from them."Uh, hello!" I said.The ostri glanced around, then looked at me more properly. "You speak our tongue?" he asked."I guess so," I replied. I paid a bit more attention to my own words, the sound of them as opposed to the meaning alone. The ostri language sounded very smooth and sibilant, lots of whispery shushy noises with few hard consonants. It was a softer language. I liked it! "My name is Broccoli Bunch,and these are my friends.""Are you the leader of this group?" the ostri asked. I couldn't tell their gender at a glance, I could tell that they were scanning us over. Their gaze lingered on Bastion for some time. "Some of you are strong, but most of you seem a little fair-weathered for life here. What are you coming to the city for?""We're just passing through," I said. "We're heading to a place called Southerfell. Actually, an island near Southerfell. We're on the lookout for this group called the Black Avatars. Have you heard of them?"The ostri paused, then stared at me. "We've heard of them, yes. If you bear no ill intent, and are willing to abide by our customs, then you may come.""Are there any, ah, laws and such we should be aware of?" I asked.The ostri paused, then laughed. "You know our tongue, but not our customs? You are interesting, tall-eared captain. Come Here and Die has no laws. No police, no army, no governors, kings, queens, or rulers. We have no taxes, and care little for money."Huh... I wasn't expecting that. Actually, did that mean that the whole place was anarchic? How did that even work?"Wha... that's gonna make doing things there a little weird," I said."We have no need for liars and cheats, and our word is our law. You will find no people more honest than those of the city, and no people more willing to draw steel either."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Three — Come Here, it's Dry
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Three — Come Here, it's Dry The biplanes continued to circle the Beaver Cleaver while we moved towards the city. The Ostri who'd jumped aboard stayed by the front of the ship, and signalled that we were safe to land to his companions using a clever sort of mana-burst technique.Amaryllis mentioned that it was something that other nations were looking into, but most people weren't sensitive enough to mana to feel the bursts from afar, and not every ship had a mage or person with good mana control to use that kind of technique, so semaphore flags continued to be the standard.My friends couldn't speak the local ostri language, but the guide could speak a few languages and was able to talk to the others.His name was Markeb Secondson, the Lightfoot, but he said we could just call him Markeb. Amaryllis wanted to know if he was part of Come Here and Die's air-traffic-control, but as it turned out, they didn't have anything of the sort.The rule for air traffic was pretty much that the bigger, more heavily armed ships moved first, and every ship that was smaller moved around.Amaryllis was pretty horrified about that, but apparently there was so little air traffic here that it hadn't ever become a problem.Come Here and Die didn't have a proper airship port, but there was a large, cleared space to one side of the city, next to a tall, rocky outcropping with a wall above it that provided good cover from the desert wind.Large, round indents into the ground had been spaced more or less evenly apart, each one a good few metres deep and ringed by carefully placed bricks. We were heading towards one of those.Apparently, there was still some amount of trading and such, even if the ostri here were anarchic. There just wasn't any legal framework for contracts, and no real police to call on if something went wrong.Somehow, that made me feel a little queasy. It was weird. I'd always grown up knowing that there were laws and rules that I had to follow. I knew that sometimes the law was wrong, or that rules might be silly, and that doing the right thing might mean breaking one or both, but they were always there as a sort of guideline for what was acceptable.A place entirely without either felt strange.We brought the Beaver down anyway, gently aiming for a free spot next to another circle that held a beaten up old cargo airship.The lower we dropped, the hotter it became, until I was feeling like a very sticky, sweaty bun. I was pretty sure that it was scorching enough to cook things just by sticking them out in the sun, so I was happy that the Beaver Cleaver had a balloon above us to at least provide some amount of shade."I will take my leave, then," Markeb said."You're not staying?" I asked."Why would I?" he replied. "I flew over to see if you'd be trouble, and I have a sense that you are, but you're not the kind of trouble that I care much for.""Huh?" I asked.The ostri tilted his head, and I had the impression that the gesture was as good as a smile. "A bit of advice, little bunny-eared captain. All ostri are honourable people, but not all ostri are good. This city's name was earned. If you want to stay, then make friends with some locals and stay close to them lest you trod upon the honor of someone who lacks the goodness]to see past a slight.""Okay," I said. "Thank you, I appreciate it. Ah, so once we're docked...""Talk to the person who runs this place, then do what you came here for," he said.With that, he walked off the side of the Beaver. We were still a dozen metres off the ground, but when I ran to the railing, I found that he was just casually walking along the desert ground between the airship pits."Ostri... are so cool," I said."Really? I'd have thought they were hot, what with the desert and all," Amaryllis said.She didn't understand, and I felt a little bad for her about it.Once we landed and dropped anchor, a team of ostri pushed a long plank up to the side of the Beaver and we were met by a tall, thin ostri man in elaborate robes who climbed to the edge of the ramp and negotiated a staying fee with Amaryllis.It turned out to be much cheaper than staying in most other ports, mainly because we were paying only for the right to park here.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings."We're going to have to source fuel and water and the rest of our supplies ourselves," Amaryllis said. "Which means leaving the ship.""All of us?" I asked."That would be unwise," Bastion said. "We are among a warrior people, in a land with no laws. Many call them fair — but one man's fairness is another man's arbitrary violence. The princess shall not leave the ship, nor can we leave her here alone." His words on that matter were utter steel. "Our away team should be small, and above all, capable of escaping a fight."I pouted, but just a bit. He might have been right. I was hoping for the best, but the city was called Come Here and Die, so I had to set my expectations at a certain level. "So, who's going out?" I asked."I'll come. Someone needs to watch over our purse, and I can defend myself perfectly well," Amaryllis said."I'll come too, of course," I said with a nod."Is sending the captain wise?" Bastion asked. "By all rights, you should remain on the ship."I blinked. But... but I wanted to see the cool desert city! "Ah! But no one else can speak the local language, so you have to send me," I said with a nod. "And I'm good at running away!" That was a very clever reason to go!Bastion frowned, but my logic was irrefutable, so he had nothing to say on that.I ended up going around and seeing who wanted to come. Calamity was okay with staying, as long as we promised to bring back some local snacks, but Desiree really wanted to see the city as well.Awen came along because she was the ship's mechanic, and would know what to grab, and that made a group of four, which was good enough.Steve and Gordon were going to wait on the Beaver ready to leave as soon as we came back with a good idea of where to pick up the stuff we needed for the trip."Alrighty! Let's go!" I called out before stepping onto the ramp. I felt it, the moment I stepped out of the shadows of the ship. The sunlight hit me like a slap to the face, and I could instantly feel my sweat evaporating away.Amaryllis huffed, but that was her only complaint, while Awen just shifted her shoulders. She was wearing that long trench-coat that she'd gotten a long time ago, and it seemed almost perfect for this kind of weather.Desiree was the only one who seemed to commiserate with me. "This weather is untenably warm. I can see why this place is still as free as it is. No invader would be able to endure the place in the height of summer."Oh, right, we were basically in mid-winter, weren't we? So this was as cold as it would get. Holy heck.I flagged a nice-looking ostri man down, and he seemed happy when I asked him where we could find ship fuel and supplies in his own tongue. He pointed us towards the centre of the city proper, and then continued on his way.Fortunately, we didn't have to stay in the sun for long.I had seen that a lot of the buildings looked like they had dug-in courtyards from above, but on the ground, we discovered that the entire city was dug in. They had roads above, but for the most part, the foot traffic moved around in trenches. They had angled walls on the sides, with wooden planks holding out the dirt. They didn't have to worry about mud, I supposed. Some sections were covered over, with tarps and thin roofing, often designed with holes along the edges to let the air circulate a little.It was still super warm."So, that ostri guy mentioned someone called... Aguila Firstson Sandseller," I said, translating what I'd learned for my friends. "And he has a shop not too far from here that sometimes deals with out-of-towners like us.""I can't get used to their names," Amaryllis said."Oh," Awen replied. "Their first name is their... actual name. The second part is the order of birth, which is important to the ostri, and the last is their class. Usually their first. Most of them don't mention if they have a second or third, but they'd also be part of their name.""Like our tails," Desiree said with a swish of her twin tails. "An indicator of potential and rank.""Neat!" I said. I was looking forward to getting indoors, and maybe learning more about this place. The name had to have a story behind it!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Four — Come Here and Die
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Four — Come Here and Die We got a little lost.Mostly it was the streets that never ran straight, constantly rising and falling and branching off into side passages that had side passages, but also the heat. It was so warm that I was soon feeling like the top of my head was boiling.Maybe the ostri were onto something when they wore full-body coverings? I did see a bit of skin, here and there, but most of them had loose clothes that probably did a good job of keeping them cool, and the rest had tight wraps that I bet were really good for absorbing sweat.Eventually, though, we stumbled into an open space, and all four of us paused."I cannot decide if this is beautiful or morbid," Desiree said.We had arrived in a large, open plaza. The sun beat down on us, but it was held at bay by a breeze that seemed to be channeled through the open space,in the center of the plaza, a large fountain shot misty water into the air.Ostri and a few non-ostri were ambling along at a slow, leisurely pace, taking their time as they crossed the square.Everything here-the walls, floor, benches, even a few sculptures and pillars-minus the fountain, was made of helmets.They were metal helmets, with cheek guards and a fixed visor at the front. Most of them had small carvings around the eye slits. The helmets were stacked along the outside of the plaza, taller than I was by half. There were pillars of them as well. Hundreds of helmets stacked up to rise over our heads. Some sort of tattered banner was wrapped around the base of each pillar."Those aren't fit for ostri heads," Amaryllis said. "Or at least, they're not of the local style.""They're human," Awen said. "From Pyrowalk."I slowly moved closer to one of the pillars and looked at it. The helmets had been stacked very neatly, but there were also a few small welds holding them together. A careless bump wouldn't collapse one of these pillars.Glancing around, I tried to count, but gave up. There had to be a few thousand of these helmets here. All of them were nearly identical, but those along the tops of the walls and pillars often had small racks above them, for standards and big brush-like bristles of colourful materials. The helmets of officers, maybe?"You lot seem curious," someone said.I glanced up, then behind us, but couldn't see who had spoken. The voice had sounded kind of grandfatherly, but there was no one like that around.Clear across the sun-drenched plaza, a seated figure half-raised an arm to wave at me."Yes, you," a warm, slightly raspy voice said, as though it came from right in front of me. "All of you, really."Despite the distance, that was clearly his voice. I could see his lips move as he spoke.He sat on a bench near the fountain, stooped over, one hand resting on a cane. His loose robes covered all his skin except for his spidery, leathery hands."Hello?" I asked.The old ostri chuckled. "Come. I am to teach the young, and no one said I had to limit myself to my own kind. Come come." He waved us closer.I looked at my friends, then started to walk over. He seemed nice. "Hi, sir," I said. "My name is Broccoli, and these are my friends.""I see," he replied with a slow nod. "I am Scorpio Lastson, Spearfighter, Shadowkiller, Slicer and Sandspeaker. It is the last that I live as now."Four last names, which meant... four classes. This old ostri had more classes than even Abraham Bristlecone!"That's impressive!" I said. "And now you teach?"He bobbed his head in a quick nod. "Just so. Sit, sit. Let me tell you why this place has helmets piled up like cordwood."We had a lot of things to do... but I sat down on the ground in front of the old ostri anyway. There were thick, colourful rugs set on the ground, and we were close enough to the fountain where there was a faint splash of water that reached us. It was nice. Somehow the sun didn't feel quite as overbearing here, and I could feel the heat seeping away from the top of my head and ears.My friends hesitated for a moment, but soon all of us were sitting down and ready for storytime.Scorpio rubbed at his chin, then nodded. "This is the story of how this fair city earned its warning, and in doing so, a new name."This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere."Oh," I said. That was interesting!"Long ago, this place was a prosperous trading outpost. The people of the desert came and enjoyed the bounty of the ocean and the coolness of the waves. We found dungeons in the caverns, gold in the ground, and precious gems in the hills."He gestured all around, and in the eddies of humid fountain air and the slight brush of sand in the wind, I could almost imagine the city as a desert still, with only a handful of large homes and compounds and many ostri passing through."As time passed, tales of our wealth spread out across the world. The humans of Pyrowalk were, at the time and still today, hungry for more. They have power — and the desire to use it. Thus, if they can take something for themselves, they will. Pushing outwards, subjugating those around them, they are the definition of an expansionist empire."I blinked, almost catching sight of a marching army, but... no, that was just sand caught in the air... ohh, that was a cool trick!"Through the jungles they came. A host a hundred thousand strong. Warriors and fighters, swordsmen and bowmen and spearmen. With gleaming armour and tactics honed through many long battles, they cut straight across the burning sands."The old ostri leaned back a little, his arms falling."They were, together, stronger than we. And yet..."I leaned forwards myself, waiting."They expected war. They expected us to meet them on the field of battle, arrayed in neat lines. Formations, cavalry, great spellwork and organized warfare. And so we gave them none of that. The army marched through the ostri desert, and when they passed, news scurried ahead. Of who they were, and why they'd come.""Ah, but eventually, after many hardships, they arrived here, in this place. At the time it was the Bounty By the Ocean. We had no walls except to keep the sand and wind at bay. No army, no generals. They arrived and demanded to speak to our leaders... but we had none. They demanded our taxes, but we did no such thing. They wanted our stocks of riches, but who keeps their riches piled in a single place?"I giggled. I could imagine the consternation of the army already."Ah, but then they made a fatal mistake. They imposed. They demanded straight roads and the following of exact rules. They told some ostri that they were now responsible for others. They took what wasn't theirs to take, often like thieves.""Oh no," I said."Ah, yes," he replied. "And so, we fought them. But not in the way they wished. An angered ostri would walk to the one who'd taken from them, and run them through. They would take what was theirs back, then return to their home. The soldiers would punish them, only to lose in turn. Soon, the city rose against them, but still, we never met them in the combat they wanted. They called it honourless, but we called them stupid. Our strongest warriors were far stronger than their strongest generals. They had spent too much of their time and skill on learning to lead and fight as a group. When denied as much...""You defeated them piecemeal," Amaryllis said."Yes," he replied. "And when the army retreated, several thousand souls lighter, they said that this was a place that they had only come to to die. And so we renamed the city accordingly, as a warning. These helmets are those left behind by that army, voluntarily or no.""That's a cute story!" I said with a clap."No it's not, it's horrific," Amaryllis said."I found it nice," Desiree replied, and next to her, Awen nodded.The old ostri seemed pleased with himself, at least. He asked us what we were doing in the city, and when we told him, he was kind enough to point us in the right direction. Then he gave us some thin cloth scarves, made of an airy, white cloth that we tied around our heads. My ears stuck out of my turban, but that was fine. It was enchanted to keep the head cool, so that we wouldn't get a heatstroke before midday.New Skill Acquired: SandwalkingRank: FWe left, with new hats, and a better idea of where we were going.Our next stop would be a place to buy fuel, and then a shop for supplies, then we'd be ready to leave.But maybe we could scroung up some local snacks on the way...
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Five — Come Here and Buy
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Five — Come Here and Buy "This must be the place," I said as I spied a shop down the road and started towards it.It was a nice, rather large place. The building had rounded walls on the outside that sloped inwards and under the eaves of a roof that was mounted onto some wooden pillars. That left a gap between the top of the walls and the lower ceiling. A space for wind to circulate? I wasn't sure. Maybe it was to let light in?It wasn't like they needed to insulate against the cold here. At the moment it was swelteringly hot, and we were in midwinter. That meant that this was as cold as Come Here and Die would get, and I felt like I was about to melt at any moment.The shop sprawled backwards into a large yard, fenced off with plates of rusty scrap metal haphazardly welded together..Gaps in the metal let me and my friends peek in. There were at least five airships back there, all of them halfway disassembled. Most had been, in their prime, about the size of the Beaver, though a couple seemed even larger. Those were down to what looked like engine parts and partial airframes.Here and there were ordinary stacks of parts, with room to walk between them, and there were a few sheds that looked like they were overflowing with more."I wonder how they obtained so many airships?" Amaryllis asked. She was squinting at the wrecks. "Most seem to be a decade old, at least, but I recognize model one. We stopped producing it at our yards only a few years ago.""The desert," Awen said. "Uncle had a few stories about crashing in the Ostri Desert. A lot of airships pass through the desert instead of flying over the sea to the north, or the ocean. It's a little bit safer, but only sometimes.""Is this one of the times?" I asked.Awen nodded. "Yeah. Greenshade was one of the last stops." That was the city Awen was from, where I'd first met her, even. "It's too hot in midsummer, but in the winter, the winds are safer, and airships often fly over the desert.""The heat would help, if anything. No frozen lines," Amaryllis said."Not when it's as hot as it gets here," Awen said with a shake of her head. "You're thinking of summer around the centre of the continent, which really isn't too warm. The temperature here rises enough that it can impact the buoyancy of ships, cause engines to overheat, and even start fires. Plus, there are storms in late spring and early fall. No one wants to be on a ship during a sandstorm. Visibility drops to nothing and sometimes the more magical storms interfere with equipment.""Sand, it gets everywhere," I said with a sage nod. My friends would never understand some of my jokes, and that was a little sad, but it was okay too. I walked over to the front of the shop, then slowly opened the door.The interior was illuminated by colorful navigation lamps hanging from the ceiling beams — much like the ones we used on the Beaver.Scrap material had been recycled into long counters and shelves. Those held parts that I couldn't figure out the purpose of at a glance, but at Awen's curious 'awa?' I knew that they had to be interesting. The place smelled like rust and metal and oil.We stepped in, heads on swivels. Awen started to skim past things, occasionally pulling a doodad or thingamabob from a shelf and looking it over before placing it back. "Lots of parts," she said."Yeah," I agreed with a grin."This might be the only repair shop for airships in the entire city," Amaryllis said."And the best one, too!" someone replied from deeper into the shop. A curtain was shifted aside and a young harpy woman stepped in. I blinked in surprise. A harpy? We'd seen nothing but ostri, so far.She seemed a good bit older than any of my friends and I, with a few feathers gone white and crow's feet in the corners of her eyes. She was wearing overalls whose stains had been there for so long that they were now part of the clothing."Welcome to The Shop," she said. "Not the most original name, but that's how things are done here."Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator."Hi!" I said. "I wasn't expecting a harpy.""Oh? Got a problem with that?" she asked. Her smile never shifted, but she placed a taloned hand on her hip."No no, one of my best friends is a harpy," I said."Moron," Amaryllis grumped before turning to the woman. "I do share her sentiment. I was expecting an ostri. What brings you so far from the Harpy Mountains?""Love and work, but not in that order," the woman said. She gestured around, encompassing the shop. "This is my life's work now, I suppose. Been here for nearly twenty years. Used to work in the big airshipyards back home, but I was always better at bespoke things than yard work."Awen nodded along. "That makes sense. Ah, we're looking for a few things?""I imagine," she said. "I'm Chloe, by the by.""Hi Chloe," I said. "I'm Broccoli Bunch! I hope we can be friends!"Chloe Ayka SparrowDream: To live a long life surrounded by loved ones.Desired Quality: Someone dependable and straightforward.That seemed like the kind of dream and desired quality that a good person might have! "Awen, you'd know best what we're looking for!""Ah, ah, yes," Awen said. "We're looking for grade b fuel for a type six engine, a few quarts of oil, a set of control cables, at least three metres worth, and... ah, I have a list. These are all things that would be nice, but they're not necessary."Chloe took the list and looked it over, nodding all the while. "I have about a quarter of these things, and can source about half if you give me a few days.""Ah, well we'll take what we can get right now," Awen said. "If you have the fuel and oil, that's what matters most." She half-turned, looking to Amaryllis."We'll take whatever you have under your wings," Amaryllis said. "We don't plan on staying in Come Here and Die for too long. Though we wouldn't mind some advice while we're here.""How well did you prep before coming?" Chloe asked."So-so," Awen admitted. "I changed the filters out, and removed some of the insulation around some parts that I heard tend to overheat.""Smart," Chloe said. "Well, if you're just passing over the desert, then you might not be in too bad a shape, especially if your ship's this young.""How do you know if our ship is young?" I asked.The harpy mechanic blinked. "Because I saw your list of parts?""Oh," I said. I supposed that made sense, and it left me feeling a smidge silly. "Are there any dangers we need to worry about in the desert?""If you're keeping to the air? Not too many. Where are you heading to from here?" she asked."North and west, near a town called Southerfell," Amaryllis said.Chloe chewed on her lip. "Avoid flying over The Brake, then — the winds in those mountains are insane. Shifting every minute, and their temperatures vary wildly. Don't overfly the jungle either, it's full of things that treat smaller airships like snacks.""Scary," I said.She nodded. "If you're heading due north... you might not have too much to worry about. Perhaps you'll be harassed by desert wyverns. There's a heap of scrap in our yard that was a ship taken down by a flight of those a couple of years back. It's not common, and you're not in their mating season, so they'll be calmer.""That's good," Awen said."Otherwise, keep away from the centre of the desert. You might want to stop by Weakling's Rest.""What's that?" I asked."Small town, far north. It's got a big stone pillar, you can't miss it. Get in contact with one of the healers there if you'll be travelling near the jungle. They have magic that'll keep you alive, disease runs rampant there. Silverstar fever is a real thing, and it won't care what level you're at."That seemed especially good to know.We ended up ordering some fuel, which came in a large metal tank atop a small cart that we'd have to somehow escort back, then a heap of odds and ends that Awen needed for some last-minute maintenance, then, finally, we were off.
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Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Six — Come Here and Fly (Away)
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Six — Come Here and Fly (Away) We carried what we could back to the Beaver, and what we couldn't carry came by cart. Chloe hired a few random ostri off the street to pull along a large cart that had a repurposed fuel tank strapped to the back of it.It was funny, she just stepped out of her shop and asked the first few ostri passing by. Most refused her, but eventually a few of them shrugged and accepted, just like that.Apparently long-term jobs were a weird and uncommon thing here."So... no one has a day job?" I asked."Of course they do," Chloe said. "You don't gain levels without specializing, everyone knows that. But most ostri, especially the younger ones, prefer to wander from job to job. Some will find something they're passionate about and stick to that for the rest of their lives, but a lot wander for a long while before finding their vocation, if they ever do. There's a reason that the ostri are unconquerable.""I can't imagine trying to tax them," Amaryllis said.Chloe snorted. "Good luck with that. If you even manage to explain the concept to them, they'll wonder why you need money to do things when you can just do it yourself instead of hoarding wealth to do it later.""The city is very nice and clean," I mentioned. "And pretty friendly.""It's cultural," Chloe said. "You clean up after yourself. You might pick fights with anyone here, but you need to be looking for a fight, and so does the person you'll fight. Beating up someone just minding their own business is such a faux-pas that it's just not done. It's unsportsmanlike, dishonourable, and gains you nothing."Oh. Well, I liked that attitude. Best to make friends rather than punch people. "So if you're looking for people to work on something, you just ask?""And you won't find harder workers," Chloe said with a nod. "But don't expect them to show up again the next morning, let alone in a week.""I don't know where they fall in the trifecta of good employees," Amaryllis said."Ah, the what?" Awen asked."Hard working, cheap, timely," Amaryllis said. "It feels like they hit two out of three, but miss the third one so much that it makes them poor employees."Chloe laughed, which sounded a little like birdsong. I side-eyed Amaryllis. Her laugh usually wasn't so melodic ... unless she giggled involuntarily. Was she trying to make even her laughter sound uptight and serious?Chloe caught her breath. "You'd lose that Harpy Mountain attitude quick enough, if you stayed here for any amount of time, princess.""I'm hardly a princess," Amaryllis said. "Especially not when you use the term so derisively."We reached the Beaver and I stepped back to let the experts take care of refuelling the ship's bunkers. It was something sensitive and dangerous enough that I knew better than to stick my bun nose into it.Since the city didn't seem so bad after all, I told the crew that they could head out and explore the city if they wanted, and some of them took up that offer and did just that. The rule was to stick close, and politely refuse any offers to fight.The scallywags went out for something similar. They wanted to try the local food.They came back an hour later, Oda's face covered in tears. As it turned out, the food here was more than just 'spicey'-it was nearly lethal. He was tearing up and snot kept flowing out of his nose, but he was also putting on a brave face.A bit of Cleaning magic blasted at his face and into his mouth actually did the trick, which was good because I wasn't sure if there was a cure for eating something too spicy.It took a couple of hours to move things into the Beaver and finish the refueling. By the time we were set to leave, it was already mid-evening, and the sun was starting to dip down towards the horizon.Usually, I might have wanted to stay, but... we were on a bit of a timetable, and the information we'd picked up from Chloe and some others in Come Here and Die suggested that the safest route out was north and around, which would add a good day to our travels compared to the straighter route we'd planned on taking.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.Our next destination was the impolitely named Weakling's Rest, far to the north.The Beaver rose, catching a thermal on our spread-wide sails to soap up until we'd climbed to a nice cruising altitude, then we pointed our prow north and spun the engine up.I watched Come Here and Die slowly scroll past behind and below us. I think it would have been fun to spend a few weeks there, and get into some fun trouble, but time wasn't always so free.I'd be back, I decided, one day. Maybe with fewer friends, or more of them. We'd stick around, get used to spicy food, and live the hard but carefree lives of ostri for a while. It'd be fun!But for now, I had a different sort of fun to handle.Since I was too energized to sleep at the moment, I told Clive to head down and get some rest while I took the helm. It wasn't too hard. I just pointed us due-north, the mountains of The Brake way, way off to the left, and the desert ahead and to our right.A few hours into the night, I felt a good wind coming in from behind us, so I shut the main propellor engine down to conserve fuel and helped deploy our sails to near-full to better catch the wind.It was pushing us a little to the east, but the occasional adjustment of the rudder kept us on track.Almost everyone was asleep soon enough, and I found myself nearly alone up on deck. The exception was Orange, who came up and curled down atop a heap of ropes just next to the helm. She was sleeping too, but sometimes her head would move and I'd catch a glimmer of kitty-cat-green eyes in the dark. She was growing up into a fully adult kitty.Time really did fly when one was... flying.I needed to put more thought into that one.In any case, a few people woke up in the middle of the night and came up to see if I wanted to switch out, but something about the warm air and the swaying of the ship was keeping me in this lethargic yet still awake state. So I stayed at the helm and just floated along until I saw the first glimmers of sunshine on the horizon.That's when the sleepiness hit me, and I decided to head down and crash onto my bed.I awoke a bit after noon, to the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen. Someone had opened my door at some point, and it was squeaking back and forth slightly.I yawned big, stretched until my toes shivered, then got up.The scent wafting from the kitchen was pulling me out of the room. It was spicy and warm and... a bit savoury? Was that pasta too?I glanced down at myself, and felt a bit grossed out on realizing that I'd slept in my day wear, not even taking off my shoes of the night. A wave of Cleaning magic made it less bad."Sleep well?" Awen asked from behind the stove."I did," I said. "Or I probably did? I don't remember sleeping at all. I think I could use some more.""Hmm, might be best to, ah, not?" Awen said. "You'll only stay awake all night again.""True," I said. "Need a hand?"Awen smiled. "I wouldn't mind one! I'm making... actually, I don't know.""You don't?"She shook her head, blonde hair rippling. "No. It's just whatever cans we've had for the longest, and some spices that Calamity bought. It smells nice, though, I think? There's no meat!"I came over and peered sleepily over her shoulder. It was, as she said, a bit of everything. Chopped and diced... unfamiliar veggies. I did recognize some chopped carrots, peas and cubed-up potatoes, as well as some radishes and eggplants that looked like they'd been bought at Come Here and Die.I supposed that chopping up any veggie and adding it to warm water wasn't the wrong way to cook them. Plus, the water had turned into more of a broth.Sniffing it from up close made my tummy rumble to remind me that breakfast had been missed. It also smelled very spicy, but in a good way. "Oh, I think this might be good, like chili without ground beef! Get me a bowl, I'll help by taste-testing!"
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Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Seven — All Friends Forever
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Seven — All Friends Forever Apparently I'd 'captained' too much for one night, so my friends and crew told me to take a day off.It was so hot that I felt like I might melt, but I wasn't one to lounge back and do nothing all day. It was so warm that my ears weren't sticking up straight and kept flopping down in front of my face, like limp noodles. I was obviously not a desert bun, otherwise I'd have ears good for radiating heat. I was more of a winter bun.I made a circuit of the Beaver, splishing and splashing some Cleaning magic here and there and straightening up some clutter. If there was a sudden change in altitude, or some hard turbulence, then anything not fixed down was liable to go flying.Otherwise, the ship wasn't that dirty. I'd hardly spent much time on other airships, but I had the impression that the normal state for most ships was 'grimey' at best. The Beaver, in comparison, was nearly spotless.I supposed that I might have been leaking Cleaning magic here and there, and using it all the time, and generally blasting some as practice... ah, well, it wasn't a bad thing. If we ever ran out of plates we could eat off the floor and not be worried one bit.Soon enough, I ran out of stuff to clean and things to inspect, and with everyone else busy and with it being way, way too warm for training, I decided to retreat to the 'captain's quarters' which was the little office space at the back.Amaryllis had gone around the ship and slapped down some cooling magic here and there along with some spells that made a small gust of constant wind, like a directional fan. The spells didn't last too long, not without being enchanted into an item and being empowered by... magic stuff that I didn't quite understand, but they were still nothing to complain about.The office had a nice desk, and in that desk were papers. Some of these were the well-sorted records and notes that Amaryllis took, but there was room for a lifetime's worth of forms and paperwork.There was stationery on the desk too. Nice pens and blank pages, even some envelopes for letters.That... was an idea.I hadn't always been a very sociable girl.Oh, I always wanted to be, but young Broccoli wasn't as extroverted as I'd become. I was a bit shy when I was small, and that, coupled with the way we moved so often when I was young, made it hard to make and keep friends.I'd still managed, though. At one time, because of a few frequent moves, I ended up with a small collection of penpals. They were mostly older ladies from the neighbourhoods we'd lived in for a while.That had been fun, though more time-consuming than I think most people were ready for. I'd enjoyed it, though. My little shoebox with old letters was one of the few things that I never parted with as we moved.Maybe it was time to get back to that? I had made plenty of friends on Dirt.I sat down at the desk and laid a fresh page in front of me, then I picked up a pen and tested it on a spare page. It was one of Amaryllis' fancy pens, and after fiddling with it for a moment, I figured it out.My handwriting wouldn't exactly be pretty, but it would be perfectly legible.Now... who to write to? I'd made a lot of friends across Dirt in the few months I'd been here. Some of them were out of the reach of a letter, of course. I couldn't send a letter to Oak the dryad or even those cute bees I'd met a long while back. I didn't think they had addresses.I tapped the back of the pen against my lip for a moment while I thought. The air in the office was cool enough that my ears were finally starting to straighten out, like plants reaching for the sun, which was nice."Ah!" I said.Dear Gabrielle,I'd never had too much time to talk to her, but I always thought she was fun and cute, and the thought of plants made her come to mind, she had such a pretty garden that she tended to. Gabrielle was Caprica's little sister, and a princess in her own right.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.I hope this letter finds you in good health and with good company. I'm writing to say a hello from very far away. I heard that your sister hasn't been writing as much as she should (I got on her case about it, don't worry!) and so I decided to write to you myself.We've been travelling a lot since Caprica joined, it's been one big adventure after another, but I'm sure Caprica will tell you all about that when she gets back home one of these days, or in a letter of her own.If she doesn't send one, let me know. I'm her Captain you know? So I can boss her around (a little).Anyway, how are you? And how's your garden? Have you made any new friends recently? If you want to add one more to that list, then feel free to reach back to me! Long-distance friends count too!I bobbed my head from side to side as I kept writing about this and that. It wasn't anything too important, but it felt... nice. Like a rather one-sided conversation.I signed the letter at the bottom, then pulled out another page.This one would be trickier to deliver. I was certain that mail made it to Sylphfree. It was one of the capital cities on the continent, after all. But this one...Dear Carrot, Mom, and all the other Buns!Hi! I don't know if you remember me, but it's Broccoli Bunch. My friends and I visited your little town a while ago, and now we're out on another adventure, but even though I'm very far away, I still sometimes think about your little village of little buns and the fun we had there.I couldn't come up with anything amazing to write about, so I asked how everyone was doing, and requested advice about being a good bun. They'd certainly know more than I would.My only other example for bun behaviour was Booksie, and she'd run away from home, opened a bookstore on her own, and married a dragon. I didn't think she counted as all that usual as far as buns went.I signed the end of the letter, then set it aside next to the one for Gabrielle. There weren't lickable envelopes, so instead I'd have to light a candle (or use magic, I suppose) and stamp a bit of wax to close the letter... which sounded really fun, even if it was a bit of a fire hazard.The next letter took me a long time to write.Dear Emanuel,I hope you've made good friends, and that you're a good friend to them.That one sentence wasn't much, and I wasn't sure if I should even send it, but the cervid definitely needed a friendly reminder that he was remembered.It wasn't always the friendly people that needed friends the most.So I went on a bit of a preachy rant that filled the rest of the page and spilled onto the back. It was Broccoli's Tips and Tricks to Making Lots of Friends.Be the kind of person who celebrates the small wins. Like, did your new friend finally manage to do that one thing they were struggling with for ages? Maybe they got out of bed before noon or something? Then be happy for them and with them. Tell your friends that you're proud.And be present. Emotionally. Not in a spooky 'I know your schedule' way. More in a 'when you talk, I'm actually listening' way.Sometimes people don't want to be fixed. They just want to be heard. I had to learn that the hard way.Oh! And if that doesn't work, try just being nice.People are weirdly drawn to confident weirdos. It gives them permission to be weird too. And the weirder someone feels, the more likely they are to let their guard down. You make space for others by being brave enough to take up your own and kind enough to share it.I squeezed in my signature at the very end, then tossed that onto the 'to send' pile.There was a knock at the door just a moment later, then Caprica poked her head in. "Captain? We've spotted our next stop up ahead. You might want to be on deck for this one.""Oh! Let me put everything away, and then I'll be right with you!" I said.That had been fun! I'd write a few more later on. Maybe to other friends, maybe to my parents even if... even if sending that one would be hard.Keeping in touch was an important part of being a good friend, after all!
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Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Eight — Water in the Desert
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Eight — Water in the Desert The Weakling's Rest came up ahead of us, and it was a strange sight to see. If Come Here and Die was a metropolis, then the Weakling's Rest was barely a polis.Or something like that.The town was sitting in a sea of dunes. Far, far to the west were the mountains we'd been keeping to our side, but ahead and back and to our right was nothing but sand as far as the eyes could see.Weakling's Rest sat on a small raised plateau of sandy-brown rocks. They weren't raised all that high, just enough that the rocks stood out from the dunes all around them. In the middle of the rocky area was a small bump in the landscape atop which were a few taller peaks. They were about as tall as the Beaver was long, serving as a natural set of towers that poked out above the sea of dunes.In the shadow of these huge stones was a tiny lake.I wasn't sure if lake was the right term for it, really. I'd seen ponds that were about as big. I was pretty sure that if we landed the Beaver in there, we'd fit with barely a few metres of clearance.Still, it was the only body of water far out in the middle of the desert, and so a small town had grown around it.There were a few buildings made of stacked stones, cut into rough square blocks and covered in what looked like a layer of clay. Most of the homes here, however, were tents. Large walls of cloth, sometimes open at the sides and mostly covering these dug-out holes in the ground. Probably a trick to keep the temperature down. It looked like most of the houses were set up where they'd be in as much shade as possible as well."That makes no sense," Amaryllis said."Huh?" I asked.She gestured with a wing at the lake. "Water flows down Broccoli. How could there be a basin like that when it's elevated over the rest?""Uh, I don't know," I said. "Maybe it's a natural spring?"Amaryllis grumbled about geography and geology and other geo-things, but I didn't care, it looked like a really neat little oasis, and it made sense that some people would settle here where it was nice and cool compared to the rest of the swelteringly hot Ostri desert.There were six airships moored around the town. All of them had just dropped their anchors into the dunes a short walk from Weakling's Rest. We circled the town very slowly while debating over whether or not to land."How's our fuel looking?" I asked Awen as she came up from below deck.She scrubbed her hands with a cloth while speaking. "We used up about a quarter of our fuel making it this far. We're fine on everything else for a while.""A quarter of our fuel for a third of the journey," Amaryllis said. "At this rate, we'll make it to Southerfell with two-fifths left in the tank.""That's good," I said."That's good if we can refuel once there. If we can't, then we'll be stuck in a foreign land without enough fuel to make it back here, let alone back to someplace more civilized," Amaryllis said.I rubbed at my chin. "Would Southerfell have fuel? Are they a nation or just a city?""They're part of Pyrowalk," Amaryllis said. "I don't believe that the Pyrowalkians have invested nearly as much into air travel as we have."That was strange. Why not? Airships were cool!We ended up deciding to land, mostly because while Weakling's Rest was small, it did have the facilities to refuel ships. One of the six airships was having fuel pumped into it from a cart at the moment, and there was a row of large metal tanks out to one side of town that looked like they probably held more fuel.We came down not too far from there, slowly lowering the Beaver until we dropped anchor and were able to bring the keel to a hover just a pace over the sandy ground.Interestingly, no one came out to greet us. The people in town sometimes looked towards the Beaver but there didn't seem to be all that much interest. We were just another passing airship.Before hopping off the side of the ship, we had to decide who was going. Awen didn't seem too keen to leave the ship, and wanted to tinker on something while the Beaver was stationary, and Caprica was forbidden from leaving by an overprotective Bastion, so the away crew turned out to be me, Amaryllis, Calamity and Desiree.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.Four was a good number! A ladder was rolled off the side of the ship, and I helped hold the bottom steady as my friends came down, then we started trudging through the sand towards town.As it turned out, airships stopping here was pretty common. There was a bar, even, called the Airshipman's Rest. Its entrance looked almost like a cave, with a sign hanging over the door and steps carved into the stone.Ducking in, we found ourselves in a tight little tavern, with a few chairs, a few tables, and a tiny bar at the back.It was comfy, though, and the old ostri manning the place was welcoming.We asked about fuel, he made us an offer, and Amaryllis got red in the face trying to haggle him down, but he wouldn't budge much. He was the only one selling fuel out here, and if we wanted a better deal we just had to fly a few days east and go buy some elsewhere.Fortunately, we didn't need that much to top off our bunkers. It still cost us as much to buy a quarter tank than it would to buy half a tank elsewhere, but I kind of understood. There was supply and demand to think of, and this place was out in the middle of nowhere.While Amaryllis was finishing that up and Desiree and Calamity had some local snacks, a man approached me.He was human, wearing a nice navy-blue suit and a captain's hat not too unlike my own. He bowed slightly, then glanced at my captain's hat before meeting my eye. "Hello, young miss," he said. "Pardon me for the intrusion, but would you happen to be the captain of the interesting vessel that just alighted nearby?""I am, yes," I said. "I'm Broccoli Bunch, Captain Broccoli Bunch. And his name's the Beaver Cleaver.""His? Ah, and here I thought all ships were women."I shrugged. Why couldn't the Beaver be a boy ship? "Are you a captain too?""Ah yes, where are my manners? I'm Captain Gum, of the PMS Streaker.""The... PMS?" I asked."Pyrowalkian Merchant Ship," he replied."Oh! That must be one of the ships parked around town," I said.He nodded. "Indeed. The Streaker is the red merchantman. We're being refuelled at the moment, but our ship isn't alone. We're part of a merchant caravan. Do you mind if I inquire as to your destination?""Southerfell," I said. Captain Gum seemed pretty nice, all things considered. I didn't get a bad feeling from him, and I trusted my gut. And my C-Rank Friendmaking. "We've never really traveled to Pyrowalk before, but we're on a mission from the Exploration Guild.""Oh, The Exploration Guild? Interesting. That's something like the Adventurer's Guild of Pyrowalk?""I think so," I said. "Ah, but maybe not? The Exploration Guild is more about finding new places and things, like new dungeons and such, and clearing them for the first time. The Guild has a lot of really strong people in it!""I see! How intriguing. Well, Captain Bunch, I have an offer to make you, one that may be mutually beneficial.""I'm listening," I said."The Streaker and its sister ships, the Bloody Mess and the Cramped Quarters are returning to Pyrowalk. We're quite fat with goods at the moment, and we're justifiably worried that we may encounter pirates on the way back. You might have to worry about the same as a lone ship. If you wish, we can make room for your... Beaver Cleaver in our convoy. More ships make for a less appetising target for ne'er-do-wells.""Huh... yeah, we've done a fair bit of anti-piracy stuff. Have you ever heard of the Pirate Lord Megumin? The Beaver was one of the ships that fought her! And she's not the first pirate we've tangled with either.""Your vessel is so formidable?" he asked."Don't underestimate him! But it's mostly the crew, I think." I smiled. I'd always be proud of my friends. "Let me talk to my first mate and we'll see. But I'm tempted. Since this is our first time heading to Southerfell, being with others who know the way seems like common sense to me."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Nine — All Four One Formation
Chapter Five Hundred and Forty-Nine — All Four One Formation When we stepped out of the tavern it was to discover the sun was already kissing the top of the dunes, its bottom half swallowed by the sea of sand. It was nice, the orange sky reflected off the surface and turned the sand all glittery and shiny.Ah, but it wasn't the best thing either.Sunset meant night, and the convoy was only going to depart in the morning.I returned to the Beaver with my friends and told them what Captain Gum had told me about the three Pyrowalkian ships heading back to the same destination as us.Amaryllis was immediately suspicious. "And he just invited us along? Did you not consider that he might be a pirate as well?""I mean, maybe, but my gut says otherwise," I replied.We could see the other ships now, and they didn't look very pirate-y. The three were anchored near each other, and had lights on their decks. The crews looked normal enough from afar. All human, all looking rather relaxed, and it seemed like they even had uniforms.Not that pirates couldn't have uniforms, but I imagined that most piratical uniforms were more... thematic than clothes made from the same place.Plus, the ships looked well-maintained and not all that well-armed. Two of them had large ballistae on their fore-decks, but that was it. Nothing like the amount of armament I'd seen on warships and even pirate vessels.Maybe they had concealed weapons, but if so, they were well-hidden."There are some merchants from Pyrowalk that come this way," Awen said. "They make it to Mattergrove, buy weird things, then leave again.""Weird things?" Caprica asked.Awen nodded. "Stuff from the rest of the continent. Sylph candies, small harpy-made machines... stuff.""Things they can't get in Pyrowalk," I said. "They probably resell them all for a whole bunch.""I suppose Captain Gum's group might be legitimate," Amaryllis said. She still squinted at the other ships. "Fine. We're stuck here until daybreak anyway, unless we plan on departing in the dark of night."It was possible. There was nothing stopping us from working by spell-light and then taking off in the middle of the night, but it was a bit troublesome, and everyone onboard needed some sleep. So, even if we did take off, we wouldn't be flying all-out anyway, especially since the dead of night made it harder to spot landmarks and keep track of travel time.So, the morning was safer, and the Pyrowalkians ships looked professional enough that I was sure they'd be launching at first light.We set up a watch rotation, just in case, but throughout the night no one approached. I was on the last rotation, so I was wide awake when the sun came up. Before that, I had a blanket over my shoulders because it got cold in the desert at night. Almost as soon as the sun hit the horizon, the air started to warm right up.We started prepping for launch while some of the crew made breakfast.About then, a small group from one of the Pyrowalkian ships made their way over. A man in an officer's uniform with two sailors.I waved at them. "Hello!"The man returned my wave with a polite smile and a little bow. He was older, with lines around his eyes and a big bushy moustache that didn't quite match his shaved head. "Good morning, Captain," he said. "I'm Officer Gel, first mate aboard the Cramped. Our captain asked that I confirm arrangements with you.""Oh! Sure thing," I said. "We're just about ready to take off. Did you want to come aboard, we can drop a ladder for you."Mister Gel shook his head. "No, but thank you, Captain. I shan't be staying long. We just need to confirm our flying formation before we take off. Our vessels are about ready to weigh anchor.""Did you want us to fly in a specific formation?" I asked.He nodded. "A simple wedge, if it pleases you. The Streaker takes point, Bloody Mess to starboard, Cramped to port. You can take port as well."So, a wedge with a longer side? Like geese! We could do that! "Alright! I'll let the helmsbird know!" I called down.Gel's moustache twitched. "Good to hear. We'll be aiming for altitude two hundred feet to start, ascending with the morning thermals. Should give us smooth air. Departure in forty.""Got it," I said with a thumbs-up. "See you in the skies!"Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.He saluted with two fingers to the brim of his hat, then turned to march back across the sand, boots crunching on the uneven surface.Behind me, Calamity leaned over the railing. "Was that guy's ship really called the Cramped?""Apparently," I said. "I guess it must be tight in there." I giggled. "Maybe we should invite them over sometime. Trade recipes, complain about legroom, make some more friends?"Amaryllis stomped over, feathers all ruffled up. "Don't get attached, this is a transaction, not an alliance. When are they going to take off?""Forty minutes," I said.Amaryllis hummed, then glared up into the sky. "This will slow us down a little.""Is that bad?""We're on a deadline, Broccoli," she said. "But this might also be safer, and I can't say that's a bad thing. Convoys make for poor targets for pirates and monsters alike. There's a reason clever birds fly in flocks.""Mhm!" I agreed.By the time breakfast was done, we were pulling up anchor. Awen ran through the engine checks one last time and the ship rumbled beneath our feet. I took my place next to Clive at the helm.The Pyrowalkian ships were already rising, one by one, their balloons swelling as the morning sun crept higher. The Streaker was first, floating up with all the leisurely dignity of a noblewoman's carriage, then Bloody Mess and Cramped followed, angling into a loose formation.I steered us gently up, finding our place in the wedge just a little behind the Cramped. The air was smooth, just like Officer Gel had said, and I could already feel the breeze catching the Beaver's fins.The Beaver caught up quickly enough. It... well, I loved my Beaver, but he wasn't the fastest thing around. In fact, I was pretty sure that the shape of this airship made it kind of awful, plus we were weighed down quite a bit.Still, the Beaver was much smaller than the three merchant airships. All of them were almost as wide and twice as long as the Beaver was, with outboard engines in little nacelles sticking out of their sides. They were a bit more like the airships I could remember seeing in old movies and such. So, not exactly speedy."Desert flying's not so bad," Calamity said as he joined me at the railing. He had his goggles pushed up onto his forehead and a snack bar half-chewed in his mouth. "Just a lot of beige.""Beige can be nice," I said. Then I eyed him. "Some of your fur is beige. Wait, I'm beige!""Yeah, but it's such a dull colour. You get tired of it."Clive chuckled, then shifted his pipe around. "Must be weird, all that fur in place of proper feathers," he said. "Now, keep an eye out. Don't know what kind of beast occupies the skies 'round here, but I'm betting they're not all friendly as the captain.""Peepers peeled, got it!" I said with a rap of my knuckles to the side of my head.We hit a stretch of gentle turbulence, the kind that made the ropes creak and the sails flutter, but Clive adjusted the pitch and we settled into a lazy, slightly tilted cruise. The Pyrowalkian ships adjusted with us, their crews clearly used to travelling together. I spotted sailors with flags flashing simple signals back and forth between the vessels. Just course corrections and such."They're really well-trained," I said."They must make this route often," Calamity said. "Didn't think I'd ever be this far from home, you know.""Homesick?""Nah," he said. "Though... can I be homesick but just for the food?"I laughed. "I think so!"We coasted along above the dunes, the sun rising higher and slowly washing the desert in sweltering gold.Ahead, the Streaker led us in a steady line westward, her sails taut and proud, while the Bloody Mess trailed a few dozen metres to the right, her hull glinting red whenever the light caught the lacquer just-so.Below us, the desert began to change. The soft, sleepy dunes near Weakling's Rest gave way to harder, flatter terrain, with big stone shelves jutting out of the sand like the spines on a half-buried dragon. We passed over a cluster of ruined buildings, too square to be natural, with walls half-swallowed by the dunes. Maybe it had once been a town, or an outpost.Right now, it was just another thing to fly over. Soon, we'd be on a whole new continent!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty — Slow on the Uptake
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty — Slow on the Uptake
The day passed surprisingly quickly, though not easily.This was only the second time the Beaver had ever had to fly in formation, and the first time had been with a bunch of sylph navy personnel aboard, helping to keep him nice and steady in the air.As it turned out, the Beaver, even though it wasn't the fastest ship around, was still way better than the Pyrowalkian merchant ships we were trying to stay in formation with. If it wasn't for the added safety of flying in a group and the fact that I'd given my word as a captain, I might have been tempted to jump ahead of the convoy."How come they're so slow?" I groaned while at the helm. It was me and Awen, who'd come up to bring my lunch. She sat on a stool nearby, eating out of a tin plate."They're older," Awen said. "Their engines and overall classes, I mean. And they're poorly tuned.""Really?" I asked. "How can you tell?"All three ships had their engines in nacelles on the sides, with little ladders of scaffolding to reach them. Each was connected to a jumble of hydraulic lines that emerged from the balloon."The smoke," Awen said. "See how they burn different colours? That means that all four are tuned slightly differently. They're not calibrated for the right fuel-air mixture. They might not be taking in enough air. That might mean clogged filters, but I think that they're also probably just older engines. Can you hear them?"I twitched my ears, then pressed a knee against the ship's wheel so that I could reach up and hold my bun ears straight against the slight wind. I could hear the engines, but there were a lot of them. "I guess?""They're four-cylindres," Awen said. "Smaller, probably a lot weaker than the engines we use. And look at the pans beneath the nacceles. See that one? It's got these rust stains on it. I'll bet my favourite wrench that they're water-cooled.""Is that bad?""It's cheaper than magic cooling," Awen said. "But most engines now have a small array of cooling charms.""Uh-huh," I said before dropping my ears so that they'd flop down (and pick up less sand). I retook the wheel then looked back and smiled at Awen. " You're very smart."Awen flushed. "Awa! It's knowledge anyone could pick up."I giggled, then perked up as Amaryllis came up to join us. For a moment, it was just the three of us. I'd never put one best friend over another, but it was nice to be with the girls who'd been my best friends the longest. "Hey," I said."Hey yourself," she said before squinting out at the convoy. "Not exactly moving quickly, are they?""Awen was just telling me that their engines are old, and poorly-maintained," I said. "So that might explain it."Awen nodded."Then Awen went 'awa awa' when I told her that she's very smart," I continued. "And it was very cute."Amaryllis looked over to Awen who wore a look of absolute betrayal. "Hmm. Well, who am I to disagree? Awen is very smart. As for whether or not she's... 'cute' well, I suppose she's alright looking for a human. I trust that my sister sees something in her.""A-ah!" Awen said. "Broccoli, why are you a bully?"I laughed, then covered my mouth with a hand as the laugh turned into giggles. I was such a mean friend, but Awen was smiling, so I don't think she took it too badly. "Sorry!" I said.Awen put on a pout, but it was clear that she didn't take offence. "Fine," she said. "Appology accepted. Besides, you're much cuter.""Nope!" I said, straightening my back, squaring my shoulders, and forcing my ears to stand upright in denial.A second later, the floppy one flopped back down.Amaryllis huffed a meaningless huff, then looked out at the ships ahead again. "They are rather old. We used to produce similar designs, but the entire class is something we've stopped producing years ago. A decade, at least. But from everything I've heard, the Pyrowalkian airship industry is about three decades behind, still.""Is that a lot?" I asked."It didn't use to be. Across history, advances in technology and even magic have been piecemeal and rather slow, but in the last century or so things have picked up."The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon."Because people are more interconnected now?" I asked.Amaryllis blinked. "Possibly? It's likely more complex than just that, but I suspect that having easier, cheaper transportation between the various nations in our part of Dirt, as well as competition between those, is helping.""And Pyrowalk doesn't have that?" I asked.She shook her head. "Not to the same degree, no.. The nation has one major adversary, the Endless Swells, but the Swells have invested heavily in maritime travel. Pyrowalk hasn't had the drive to really push their airship industry forwards, so now they're lagging far behind.""They must have something else going on then, right?" I asked."Trains," Awen said."Trains?" I asked."Ah, large engines that pull cars along tracks," she said, but stopped when I shook my head."No no, I know what trains are. We had them back home. A lot more trains than airships, even."Amaryllis grunted. "They... aren't terrible, I suppose. Over flat terrain I imagine that they're even faster than airships, and can likely carry more. But the world doesn't offer easy flat terrain all over.""Yeah," I said. "Back home we used to have a lot of trains along the sides of mountains and in tunnels. I think it took decades to lay out some of the bigger networks. Probably cost a whole lot, too.""And how did you defend your trains from monsters?" Amaryllis asked. "Because while airship travel is certainly not danger-free, it does allow you to avoid the majority of monsters and dangerous creatures, seeing as how they tend to be landbound.""Are there a lot of those in Pyrowalk?" I asked.Amaryllis paused, then reached up and scratched her chin with a talon. "You know, Broccoli, you might have made a point there.""I did?"She nodded. "Pyrowalk is old. One of the oldest known empires. It technically predates most of the civilizations on our part of Dirt, and by some time, too. There are, of course, likely still pockets of monsters and areas that are untamed, but with large, expansive cities that date back to thousands of years, I imagine that there have been several attempts to civilize the land itself.""Isn't that a bit like what Deepmarsh is doing with the Dark Woods?""Exactly," Amaryllis said. "Only on a much longer scale. If that's the case, then it's entirely possible that Pyrowalk has successfully pushed back any threats likely to attack a train line. That would make overland transportation a lot more appealing than it is around home, and if that's the case, then people would invest more into it.""Ah, which would mean better roads, and more tracks," Awen said. "So more reason to invest more.""Yes. The same logic as to why airships are only growing more popular as cities build larger, more convenient ports and the cost of older airships goes down so that more companies and individuals and nations can afford them."Awen hummed. "And mechanics too.""What do you mean?" I asked."Well, when I was young, there were only two shops near my district, but then a third opened, and I think there's something like five now. The port is much larger too. There used to be space for maybe ten airships the size of the Beaver Cleaver but now you can fit three times as many. Which means a lot more people are working at the docks."Amaryllis leaned back onto... whatever she had that counted as heels, and looked up into the sky. "The world is growing smaller. A generation ago it was still not fully charted, you know? Now... well, it's possible that the next generation, or perhaps the one after that, won't need an Exploration Guild anymore.""That's okay," I said. "Things change, but change isn't inherently bad.""I suppose not," she said. "It will be interesting to see how the shrinking world handles it when nations like Pyrowalk butt heads against our continent.""Do you think they will?" I asked."Oh, definitely," Amaryllis said. "We'll see whose unique ideas survive in a century or so. Maybe we'll even still be around to see it!"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-One — Become the Hunter
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-One — Become the Hunter
I didn't expect us to actually encounter pirates.Like, sure, we joined the convoy explicitly to avoid pirates. That was one of the major reasons the convoy even existed in the first place-though there were a few other advantages. But still, I didn't expect pirates to be an issue. After all, any pirates would have to fight all of us! Not a very appetizing target.That's probably why I was caught a little flat-footed when Gordon let out a shout, saying that he spotted a ship on the horizon.Calamity came out, and squinted his cat eyes while shielding his vision from the sun. The ship was barely a dot on the horizon, with the sun more or less behind it.It was late enough in the evening that the ship didn't have to be too high in order to come in with the light of the sun at its back, and we were pretty lucky that Gordon had spotted it at all, even though the harpy couldn't make out many details.Calamity could, though. He had good eyes, probably because he was a hunter by trade and good eyesight was a boon for that."What do you see?" I called out to him.Calamity turned and glanced up. "I think it's pirates, Broc."I blinked, my ears twitching as if to make sure I'd heard correctly. "Pirates?"The catboy made his way over so that I wouldn't have to shout. "N'yeah, I think so," he said. "It's a pretty big boat. Looks a lil' worn out. The bottom half's painted a sort of blue-grey and the top half's all yellow-white.""Is there a jolly roger?" I asked."A what?" he asked."A pirate flag," I said."Do pirates tell people that they're pirates? That seems a lil dumb to me," he said. "But nah, no flags that I can see from here. But it's still far, even for my eyes."I glanced over, and yeah, the ship was just a tiny black smudge in the distance, no bigger than a fly across a room. I was impressed that Calamity could see enough of it to make out colours, even. "How are you sure that it's a pirate ship, then?""Well, I figure paint like that's for hiding better. There's only two reasons animals hide. If they don't want to be spotted by predators, or if they're ambush predators themselves.""That kind of covers both sides of the predator-prey thing," I said. "Doesn't that mean everyone would use camouflage like that?""No-you only need to camouflage yourself if you're afraid of getting discovered." He grinned, "Us social races don't usually need to fear discovery. But maybe pirates are not as social as civilized folk. Call it a gut feeling."Who was I not to trust in the gut feelings of my friends? I found some semaphore flags and then moved up to the foredeck where I waved the flags for attention. As soon as I saw a reply from one of the Pyrowalkian ships, I sent a message back. "Ship sighted. West high. Incoming. Danger."The message was repeated back to me, then I saw it being repeated on the ship's other side. It only took another two minutes before we received instructions. "Turn. 20 degrees. Starboard. Observe."That made some sense. The turn would have us flying a bit off-course from the maybe-pirate ship, presenting our sides. The 'observe' order was just common sense as well. Obviously we'd be keeping an eye on that ship.I relayed the order to the helm, and we turned, following the convoy into a gentle curve that had up pointing in a new direction. Once we settled into our new course, there was a new message. "Engines full. Thirty knots."That was hardly our top-speed, but it was a bit faster than what we were moving at. We let the convoy kick their engines into full, then easily caught up and matched speeds with them.In the meantime, I let my friends and crew know that there might be trouble. It was as good a time as any to prepare for it. That meant getting bows out and stringing them, finding ammunition and setting it out, preparing water-collection spells to fill buckets in case of a fire, and doing some last-minute preparations like securing anything loose so that it wouldn't tumble around in case of tight maneuvers.It was important not to have loose things on an airship, but sometimes it was just more convenient not to tie everything down. Now wasn't the time for that, though.As we had sped up and changed course a little, we were no longer going to be in the same spot as before, which meant that the ship that would have intercepted us needed to change its course if it wanted to do that.If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.And it did. There was a subtle change in its distant shape as some sail was deployed and the ship turned to a new heading, one that looked very much like it would cut us off."Alright," I said. "I guess that they are pirates after all."Now that the sun wasn't behind the intercepting ship, I could safely point a spyglass at it.It was still so distant that I still couldn't make out too many details, but Calamity's description had been accurate. The ship was of a more... Pyrowalk-y design. It had a large balloon, long and narrow, with a long structure beneath that ran almost the entire length of the balloon from bow to stern.There were six nacelles poking out of the middle of the balloons, each one with a propeller at the front and rear. Surprisingly, there was little smoke coming from those. So maybe the engines weren't running at their fullest?The top half of the ship from the middle-up was painted a pale yellow-orange, with mottled patches of beige and grey. The bottom half, including the main structure of the ship, was painted in a blue-grey kind of colour. It actually happened to match the early evening sky very well, which I supposed was kind of the point.It reminded me a little of pictures of world war two aircraft, with their two-toned camouflage patterns.I squinted into the spyglass, trying to hold it even so that I could make out more details. There were three platforms on this side of the ship, all of them equipped with what looked like smaller ballistas. Smaller, but not tiny. There were some figures around them, so I knew that the arms on those were about as wide as a person was tall.That was a lot of weaponry.I looked back at the ships in our convoy. Each had a single ballista, and I wasn't sure if the crews were as ready or trained to use them.I was just starting to worry in earnest when Bastion came up next to me. "An interesting situation," he said."A bad one," I replied. "You're good at fighting and stuff. What do you think our odds are?"He stared at the distant ship, then at the other three ahead. "If the enemy thought that the convoy here was such easy prey, then they wouldn't be waiting so long to attack. They're moving slowly, trying to come in from ambush. It might just be caution on their part, of course, but when you have an overwhelming advantage, it's usually best to use that advantage aggressively.""So it's not that bad?" I asked."Oh, I didn't say that. I think the Beaver is a well-crewed ship, all things considered. It might well be able to hit far above its weight class. But that vessel looks like it very much is above our weight class."I chewed on my lower lip. He was probably right. "So, what do we do?""I'll tell you this much. Sticking to a nice, easy formation like this isn't going to scare them off," Bastion said. "They've already committed to the attack, though by the looks of it the battle won't have its first shot for another hour or so. My point is, they've decided to attack. The goal of the convoy, to scare off the threat, failed.""Right," I said. "Now we fall on the second goal, having friends close by to make the fight easier."Bastion nodded. "That means hoping that those three merchant ships can hold their own in a fight."I winced. I didn't know the crews or captains. All I knew was that they weren't super well-armed.This was going to be tricky, wasn't it?Then I glanced over as Awen came over, with Calamity next to her. "Ah, hi. I have an idea," she said."Go on," I replied."We were talking," Calamity said. "About ranges. And with the thinner air, I'm pretty sure that with a bit of altitude and maybe a spell or two, I can probably shoot an arrow a good kilometre and a half.""What's the range of a ballistea?" I asked."On even ground, half a kilometre," Bastion said immediately.I blinked. "Okay, so that's good, but one arrow probably won't do too much to a whole ship?"Awen nodded quickly. "You're right. Unless the arrow is designed to carry a payload." She pulled something out of her pocket. One of her bolts for her ballista, with a glass bulb on the end. "Like this. Filled with explosive liquids and with plenty of room for a few added spells.""Well then," I said as I glanced back at the pirates. "You said a kilometre and a half, but that's if we're flying even to them, right?""Yup," Calamity said."And if we're higher?"He grinned.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Two — I Have the High Sky
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Two — I Have the High Sky
About an hour later, the pirate ship turned, pointing its front in the same direction as us and gaining a bit of altitude.It was still about two, maybe two and a quarter kilometres away, far enough that we couldn't make out too many details with the naked eye. What I could see was that it had a large crew, and while they didn't have uniforms or anything, they did seem like they were moving with some good amount of coordination.The crew was also all human from what I could tell, which kind of fit with the vehicle being from Pyrowalk.The Beaver and the other ships in the convoy messaged each other back and forth, trying to come up with a plan, but it seemed like the Pyrowalkian ships just wanted to keep flying as quickly as they could and hope that they could outrun the pirates... which made no sense to me. The pirate had caught up. It was staying caught up as well. There was no question that they'd be run down."That doesn't make sense," I complained."It does," Amaryllis said. "You're just not thinking about it from the right angle. Those merchants aren't warriors or fighters or even explorers. They're not ready to turn around and fight quite so easily. They'll run first.""But they'll be picked off," I said."One of them will," Amaryllis said. "The pirates will have a meal out of them, but by the time boarding is complete, the others will have fled."I stared. I... I understood it, in a way. It only made sense. But it was also so awful. Didn't they have friends across ships?Bastion came up next to me, head craned back to see the pirate ship above. "I imagine they're planning to make use of the night," he said. "Look at the underside. There are large spotlights on swivels and the ship is lined with smaller lamps, more than is usual, I suspect. They'll likely make sure that the entire convoy knows that they're there all night, then demand surrender in the morning after the crews are all tired from the waiting."I nodded along, that made some sense. "That makes sense, I guess. I imagine that there's no fighting at night," I said."Unless we do it," Amaryllis said. She glanced over to the horizon, where the sun was very much about to set. "Did you bring this up for a reason, Bastion?""Yes. And I suspect you have a very similar train of thought," he said.I sure didn't. But my friends were kind enough to explain their idea to me, and I agreed that it was better than any plan that involved just flying in a straight line and hoping for the best.Eventually we brought Awen in too, because the plan would require her to do some things to the Beaver's engine that it wasn't meant to do all the time.Clive was informed too, then the rest of the crew. We had everyone gear up as best we could. Every weapon, any armour we had and then a good hearty meal too.I looked around, then felt a small pit of guilt in my tummy. So many of my friends were under-armoured. The Scallywags and the rest of the ship's main crew didn't have any armour at all.I made a mental note to make sure to change that. It might be heavy to carry around, but gambesons for everyone wouldn't be that expensive or heavy. Maybe some helmets too, and at least a few more crossbows. So far the threats we'd faced were all so big that more armour wouldn't help much, but now it felt like it might make a serious difference.The first step of the plan involved telling the ship ahead of us-the Cramped-what we were going to do. They protested, but we moved on anyway.An hour after the sun dipped behind the horizon we turned the Beaver and aimed to the starboard side of the ship ahead and gently sped up, gaining speed as we kicked the engine to full.The ships ahead lit up their lights, and a lot of them were pointed upwards, towards the pirates, just as we'd asked. So they were willing to go that far, at least.Then, while we were accelerating, Amaryllis cast a complicated spell behind us with some help from Awen and Desiree. Awen because she knew some light magic tricks, and Desiree because she was just a pretty decent caster.The spell created a bunch of small, dim, floating lights behind us, tied to the ship ahead. The idea being that from above and from so far away, the pirates would think that the Beaver was still trailing after the others.We had already snuffed out every light on the Beaver, turning the deck dark and making it really hard to see, but we needed that.Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.The pirate ship was gently following along after the convoy, unaware of the deception so far.The Beaver, however, was already hiding in the shadow of the convoy and picking up speed.As we hit just about our fastest velocity, we cut the engine to go silent and then dropped a bunch of ballast. Mostly it was water-weight. Awen spun up the gravity engine off of a flywheel, which was far quieter, and we pumped more gas into the balloons.The Beaver jumped upwards, rising so fast that I felt like I was being pushed down into the deck. All of my ears popped, and I could see that we were soon even with the pirate ship, then above it."Slight port!" I called back."Aye!" Clive replied before turning the wheel towards the pirates.I was chewing on the end of one ear as we flew over them, crossing just behind the pirate ship. "Slight starboard," I said. In the silent darkness, my voice carried well.Clive turned us the other way, and soon we were flying along the pirate ship, only a good hundred metres or so above it.Slowly, we allowed ourselves to drift lower.Looking down, it seemed like the pirates hadn't noticed us, which was brilliant. They were planning on using the dark to their advantage, to stress out the merchants and keep them on edge, and yet we were able to do that too. It was a moonless night, and we could be quiet and sneaky as well."Calamity," I called out softly. "Your show.""Alright, capt'n," he said. He planted a foot on the starboard railing, then nocked an arrow that he pulled back with a grunt of effort. His bow strained. The heavy arrow, with its glass-bulb tip, caught the light spilling off the pirate ship. Then Amaryllis, Desiree, Awen, and Caprica all touched the arrow in turn. Soon it was glowing. Not too brightly, but I could see the wavering magic of a half-dozen spells stuck to it.He loosed.The arrow hissed down, far too fast to follow with the naked eye. I leaned over the side of the Beaver and squinted down. Where had it...There was a spark that went off inside the pirate ship's balloon, a flash of orange light within the canvas covering."Keep firing," Bastion said."It didn't catch," Awen said. "They might have some sort of fire-suppression.""Let's blast a bigger hole, then," Calamity chuckled.The next arrow detonated the moment it hit the ship. Calamity had aimed for one of the thin metal bands that circled the airframe. There was a loud crack and a cup-full of burning liquid was splashed over the canvas. It sputtered at first, then caught properly.The fire didn't last all that long, but it did leave a hole large enough to crawl into.Calamity giggled, then fired again, and again, and again. The twang of his bow filled the air with a regular beat, one arrow every ten seconds or so... and he was a crackshot with them. Each one hit a band, sliced through a rope, or punctured something that looked important within.The pirates, of course, caught on soon enough.There were shouts, and the ship turned. There was a small observation post on the very top, and they lit up a spell-powered spotlight within and soon discovered the Beaver hovering above."Everyone, fire!" I shouted before aiming down and launching my own magical attack.My little fireballs barely reached the pirate ship... but they did reach. A dozen little pops as splashes of magical fire splattered against the canvas balloon.The crew's spells weren't much better. The Scallywags had a few simple spells too, which helped to fill the air with a lot of flickering lights, but it was my more levelled, mage-like friends who had the real punchy spells.Desiree cast something she called fox-fire at the ship, summoning a small two-tailed fox made of fire that ran along the top of the ship, each step leaving behind a small puddle of fire.Amaryllis muttered under her breath for a long time, then she pointed her spell-dagger down and the clear sky filled with blinding light as a bolt of what felt like real lightning came out of the heavens and rammed right into the observation post at the top of the ship. The spell-powered spotlight within popped and I swear I could see the skeletons of the pirates within for a moment. The lightning coursed through the ship, they shot out the bottom on its way to the ground.Amaryllis backed up, breathing heavy. "That'll wake them up," she said.I nodded. My ears rang, and we weren't done yet!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Three — Mutual Debate of Ownership Philosophy
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Three — Mutual Debate of Ownership Philosophy
Our shots from above left plenty of holes and rips through the canvas fabric enveloping its frame. Some of those were large enough to expose the large gasbags within. They were all made of a dark fabric, maybe some sort of leather? I couldn't tell from afar. What I could tell was that we were poking plenty of holes into it. That didn't mean that it was going down so easily.Some of those holes were probably small enough that I could plug them with a pinkie, but some? There were gashes and cuts large enough to crawl into, and that meant that the ship lost lifting gas by the second.If the pirates didn't patch all of that up-and soon-then the only thing keeping them afloat would be their gravity engines and that would burn a ton of fuel.In fact, even as I gathered my mana for more fireballs, I heard the telltale sound of machinery being thrown into high gear, and the enemy ship lurched upward."Keep it up!" Calamity shouted even as he nocked another arrow, pulled, and let it loose. It whistled down and punched through one of the balloons, only to explode deep within with a short-lived gout of flames. "This flying trash-heap ain't gonna roll over and die without a fight!"He was right, the pirate ship was taking a lot of damage, but they were already scurrying around, slapping patches over the holes in the balloon, summoning water to put out fires, and a few were even starting to shoot back at us. Still, the pirates were gaining altitude. Large ballast tanks of water were opened up and spilled out below, making the ship lose a ton of weight and allowing it to rise, despite everything."Watch out," Bastion said. "They'll be able to retaliate soon.""Let's see if we can't stall that," Amaryllis muttered. She started to prepare another spell, just as big as the last.I fired off another brace of fireballs, aiming into the tears on the ship's side so that they'd splash around within and hopefully light something on fire. There were lots of things in an airship that could catch fire. We just needed a few lucky sparks in the right place, and the pirates would be too busy putting out fires to think about doing piracy.But that didn't happen.Amaryllis called down another massive bolt of lightning from above. It crashed into the top of the ship, sparks leaping from one metal part to another, before shooting out the bottom. It left a smoking hole at the top wide enough to climb into, and a lot of the metal superstructure was red-hot."I'm out," Amaryllis gasped. "I'll need ten before I can cast something like that again.""Take it," I said. "Clive! Give us some thrust! Engines on. No time to be silent. We need to get moving!"The pirate ship was climbing and gaining some speed. As it rose, nose pitching up, I was able to make out the platforms on its bottom half where the ship's ballistas were positioned. Pirates were loading them up, preparing to fire, and soon we'd be within their firing arcs."Ah! Focus on their weapons!" I called out."Got it!" Calamity said. He took another expert shot, only for it to ram into a hastily raised magical shield.They had casters? Oh no.The Beaver's engine kicked on, and was soon roaring, but that didn't instantly give us all that much speed. I jogged to the rear deck. "Give us some height if you can, Clive," I said. "Deploy all sails! I want us to catch any wind we can get. We're going to try evasive maneuvers!"Already, a few sputtering fireballs were pitched our way, arcing through the air and mostly missing, though I winced as one of them smacked into the wooden deck. No lingering fire, and it probably only hit as hard as a punch, but still, that was just a warning of what was to come.We started to gain a bit of speed and a tiny bit more height, but the pirate ship was just dropping ballast too quickly. Soon enough it was nearly level with us, and its big ballista turned, aiming our way."Shields!" I shouted.Amaryllis threw one up, and Desiree another. They were both relatively small, hanging off the side of the Beaver.Three loud twangs sounded out as the pirates fired. One missed outright. Another long bolt crashed into our shield, exploding into splinters amidst a shower of magic sparks. The last one punched into (and through) the decking.I winced. That'd take some effort to repair, but it wasn't anything critical.Awen replied. Opening up with her fast-firing multiballista turret, flinging out a bolt every second with a loud thump.They smacked into the pirate ship's side, first along the canvas, then across a few shields before leaving a trail of bolts along the main underhull of the ship.Calamity had Desiree and Caprica apply more magic to an arrow, until it was practically vibrating. His next shot was as loud as a gun, and one of the pirate's engine nacelles burst open, illuminated from within by the blossoming light of fire."Yeah!" I cheered. Then eeped as two more ballista bolts struck us. One in the foredeck, another punched right through our balloon. "Oh no. Steve, Gordon! Emergency patch job, starboard!"I received a few 'ayes' before they were off, the Scallywags running about to give them the equipment they'd need.I grit my teeth. The pirate ship was coming alive in a big way, and soon they'd be plugging us full of holes. The pirates were probably busy patching up and repairing things. I was hoping that we'd given them enough of a bloody nose that they weren't going to keep up the chase, but if we stayed so close to them, then soon we'd be dealing with a slug-fest, and the Beaver was in the wrong weight class for that.I looked around, then had an idea as my eyes landed on the Redemption. The smaller ship was roped in tight between the twin hulls of the Beaver and it had a fully-functional gravity engine and it was a strong one too...Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.That was an idea...We'd swiped the Redemption from some privateers but never really needed it for anything. The cutting-edge metal airboat was lashed in place with a fully inflated balloon, but otherwise shut down. I think Awen sometimes did maintenance checks on it when the Beaver was running smoothly."Clive!" I shouted. "Turn us toward the pirates! We're going over the top of them!" He gave a somewhat strained affirmative as I spun on my heel and sprinted for our ballista turret."Awen! The Redemption! Start the Redemption!" I saw her eyes widen. The gears in her head were turning.Awen clambered out of her turret, then sprinted across the deck. I left her to it while rushing along the edge of the Beaver, attention split towards the pirate ship who was gaining altitude and was soon going to be level with us.A few stray spells were coming up from below now, the pirate's casters doing what they could to scare us off.When I made it to the rear, I gave Clive new instructions, and just like that, the Beaver started to turn, slowly pointing its nose right at the pirates.It only took a minute for them to figure out that our trajectories were going to intersect. The shouting on their ship grew. I noticed a lot of my friends glancing back, but I tried to remain calm, collected, and brave.The twin prows of the Beaver aligned itself with the pirates. I think everyone on both ships was a little shocked by this, especially as Clive gunned the engine.I really wished I had a sword to point towards the pirates. Instead I settled on gesturing at them. "Fire everything!"My friends did just that. The number of smaller spells we were flinging at the pirates redoubled. The pirates fired back, but the only bolt that might have hit us was caught on a shield.The Redemption's engine came to life with a howl.The pirate ship loomed large in front of us. I couldn't help the fear that shot down my spine, but I kept firing fireballs and trusted Awen.The pirates were shouting back and forth as Clive kept us on course. At the front of the pirate ship, I could just barely make out people on the main deck where they had an impressive view afforded by bay windows. A man wearing a large captain's hat was glaring. Darn. If he was angry, he might choose to give chase, no matter how much we blackened his eye. His eyes bore into mine. We were so close-The howl of the Redemption's engine changed timbre as Awen engaged the state-of-the-art Snowlander gravity engine.My stomach dropped, and then we lurched upward as she threw the engine to maximum power. The safety lines tied to the Redemption creaked as it strained to take as much load off of the Beaver as possible.Clive shifted gears and at the front, the Scallywags cheered like madmen.The Beaver tilted up and rumbled past the top of the pirate ship. I think there were only feet to spare between our hull and the top of their balloon, and the only reason we didn't collide was the pirates cuttting off their own engines and venting their balloons to lose some height.That would cost them!"To the rear!" I shouted as we crossed over the top of the balloon. "Fire as you go! Amaryllis, can you make a shield for us?""I'm still out from the lightning bolts." she replied. "But ... I'll see what I can do.""Yeah, but we need to show up their mages," I said. "Imagine how scared they'll be if we stop them from hurting us at all."She puffed up a little, then started to work on a spell.When we were out of the shadow of the pirate ship, the ballista on their other side opened fire at us, but the pirate ship was rocking. Having an engine blow up was probably not great for their stability, and as I squinted to see through the night, I had the impression that their upward climb was faltering.Were the leaks in their balloons catching up to them?Calamity fired a few more arrows, nailing them into the thin metal walls of the undercarriage of the ship. It was unlikely that he'd hit anything important, but one cut hydraulic line could really make things annoying for the pirates, plus it probably spooked them to have arrows suddenly poke out of the floor.A few windows were opened, and spells and bolts fired from crossbows were aimed down at us.Amaryllis muttered something that didn't sound very polite, then threw her talons out.A large disk of buzzing, electrical energy flashed to light between the Beaver and the pirates, snapping at anything that came too close."Flashy enough for you?" Amaryllis asked. She looked a bit sweaty and tired, but the spell was super impressive."That's incredible," I said."It's mostly decorative," she admitted. "Let's make some room before they realize it?"With Clive at the helm, we moved the sails we'd deployed to catch the wind as best we could, then gunned it out of there. The Beaver wasn't fast-fast, but it was faster than the pirates were at the moment, and we slowly gained distance until they stopped even trying to fire at us. With most of the lights on the Beaver extinguished, we'd be hard to see anyway.The Redemption's howling engine spun down to idle, and we began to lose altitude.A somewhat frazzled Awen emerged from the side hatch and clambered across the access ladder onto the Beaver's deck. She came up to stand next to me. "So," she said. "The engine still works.""Are you, uh... okay?" I asked. She had a somewhat manic look in her eyes."I think so. This is what I signed up for, after all."I paused. "You didn't sign up for anything though. I kidnapped you.""Voluntarily," she argued. "And I don't plan on leaving. Uncle does much crazier stuff than this.""Let's catch up with the convoy," I said. "And then we'll see what our next steps are."
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Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Four — Escape Velocity
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Four — Escape Velocity
Deep in the night, I startled awake from a nap that wasn't very satisfying. For one, I'd collapsed on top of my bed while clad in full armor. I'd slept like the dead; hadn't even pulled the covers up — but now I was sore where my gambeson had dug into my back, and my shoes had smeared grime on my quilt. And for two, there was a burning kernel of stress in my tummy that made me feel a little cramped up and icky. That didn't lead to good sleep.But I had slept, at least a little bit.Stress could keep me awake, but the battle had taken a lot of energy, and it had been late at night, after a long, full day, and I really needed the nap.Blinking, I reached up and wiped some eye crud away, then vanished it with a bit of Cleaning magic. That was a good sign that I'd slept a bit. It was still dark out, though, at least through the porthole in my room.I'd slept enough, I figured, so I might as well get up on the main deck and see how things had turned out.I was still tired, but I could push through. This was important, after all.Leaving my room, I checked in on the other bedrooms around mine. Amaryllis wasn't in hers, nor was Caprica, but Awen was cuddled up into a small ball, hugging a pillow, and Calamity was in the kitchen, sitting cross-legged and staring at a magical hot-plate which had a kettle on it. "Hey," I said."Hi," he replied. "Up already?""Can't sleep," I said."Hmm," he replied. The silence stretched on for a moment before he groggily raised a hand, slowly pouring warm water into two tin mugs before adding in a tin tea-ball.I filled my own with tea leaves, then I took a sip, the warmth pushing down my throat and banishing a lot of the weariness. "Thank you," I said."No problem, captain," Calamity said with a grin. "Not really how I expected to be spendin' my New Year's Eve, nya know?"I blinked, my brain grinding slowly through the fog of drowsiness. I counted the days in my head. "Oh. You're right! It is!" a little bit of pep returned to my smile. "Happy New Year's Eve!"Calamity laughed. "Same to you too, Cap'n.""What'll it be, 759?""Think so."I sipped my tea, weighty thoughts momentarily distracted by lighter ones. "759 years, huh? Counted from what?"He shrugged. "Dunno, try askin' one of the girls. They're all book-smart."Maybe I would ... after I dealt with more important things. Adjusting my captain's hat, I asked, "Any word on the pirates?"Calamity nodded. "They're still after us. Or they were, last I checked.""You didn't take a nap?" I asked.I had told as much of the crew as I could to rest a little. The fight had been exciting and loud and my heart had beat fast for twenty minutes afterwards as we made our escape out of ballista range. But after that there wasn't as much to do."I'll take one later," he said, but I felt like that was maybe a bit of a lie. Maybe he just didn't need it as much? I could believe that, what with being a hunter and all. That had probably called for a few long nights."Okay," I said. "Make sure you take care of yourself though, alright? Do Catboys like you need as much sleep as, uh, others?""We like our naps, but we're not so set on sleeping the same amount every night. Mhm," he replied. "I'll be on deck in a few. Just wanted to warm up a little first."I nodded, then shuffled over to give him a hug. Calamity froze a little at the contact, but I think he needed it. When I let go, I smiled, then took the mug up with me, sipping from it every so often as the Beaver swayed gently underfoot.I made it to the main deck, then squinted into the night. We'd left most of our running lights off, though there were a few shuttered magical lanterns here and there, where people needed them.Staring into the night, I tried to spot the pirates, and eventually located them up and above. The ship had a bunch of lights on, including searchlights aimed our way. They were far enough back that the light was diffused, though. I supposed that it was still enough to prevent another tricky maneuver like what we'd done earlier.I watched them for a while, but they never seemed to get closer or farther away. I guess we were both flying about the same speed."Captain," Bastion said as he came over. Caprica was with him, walking with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl and a faint blush on her cheeks."Heya," I said. "Any changes?""Not particularly. It seems like they've spent the night running repairs. They did lose a fair bit of height over night, but they've been climbing slowly. I'm no expert on airship combat, but I suspect that they're burning a lot of fuel to stay afloat."I nodded along. That was good, right? That meant that we'd done some real damage to them. The fact that they could repair it was... not as cool, but there wasn't much we could do about that.I sipped my tea, then looked at Caprica, who was being a little quiet. "Want some? It'll warm you up?"You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author."No, I'm well. Bastion wrapped me in this to keep me warm," she said. She tucked her head into the blankets a little more, looking very snug."We don't need you catching a cold," Bastion said.I giggled, then looked out to the convoy ahead. We were keeping pace with them, and were a bit off to one side of the single-file formation. It looked like things were pretty quiet on that side of things too."Under normal circumstances," Bastion started. "I suspect that the convoy would have held off until morning, then surrendered some of their goods.""Really?" I asked."It's cheaper than fighting and losing one or more ships. That pirate vessel is larger, better armed, and better crewed. It would win in a straight fight against those three. Their best bet is to surrender some of their cargo to the pirates. I think some do it by dropping lower, then tossing the goods overboard. Others are boarded outright.""I imagine," Caprica began. "That a ship that tossed junk overboard will not be given a second chance by the same pirate crew if they're encountered again.""Just so," Bastion said. "There's a strange sort of... barbaric civility in all this piracy."So weird, but I guess it made sense. "And what about us? Do you think the convoy might pay their way free now?""No," Bastion said. "We gave them a black eye and a bloody nose. The pirates aren't going to take kindly to that. They'll want revenge now."Darn."Is there a way we could convince them not to?" I asked."Shoot them some more?" Caprica suggested.Bastion considered it, but then shook his head. "Other than that, nothing comes to mind. Though by the time the sun rises and they're ready for another battle, we will be closer to our destination. Pirates rarely operate over civilized airspace."We continued to chat as the sky lightened and the sun crested the horizon, painting the sky in pale pinks. Suspended in the rays of the morning sun was the backlit silhouette of the pirate ship, about three kilometers behind us.The engine Calamity had shot was still smoking, and its props were entirely immobile when I looked at them through a spyglass. The 'skin' of the airship was marked by dozens of patches that hadn't been there before, and yet a lot of holes hadn't been covered up yet.It looked like we'd really done a number on the ship, especially on its port side.There were still tiny figures crawling over the ship's rigging, patching over the holes with cuts of tarp.I couldn't guess at the mood of the pirates, but I imagined that they were a lot more tired than we were. Making emergency repairs all through the night must have been exhausting, and as much as I didn't like thinking about it too much, we had probably injured a few of them.There had been a lot of spells and bolts flung at the pirates. Some must have struck at or near the crew.The ship was in a rougher state than they'd probably expected, but it was still a fully armed and operational pirate vessel. That wasn't something to ignore.I read the semaphore signal from the ship ahead. We were increasing our speed by a few knots. So the convoy picked up the pace, going to flank speed, even if it meant maybe taking a risk and burning more fuel. The signals didn't say why. It wasn't like the pirates were speeding up or anything, but I didn't argue. Maybe the other captains knew something I didn't?I picked up my own flags, sent an affirmative back, then ran over to the helm-currently manned by a sleepy Oda, and pushed the throttle up a bit.We'd only been accelerating for a few minutes when the pirates seemed to catch on that we were once again building more space between us and them. At that point, they picked up the pace a lot.They were going to catch up. The merchant ships of the convoy were just not as fast as the pirates, even with their ship partially damaged.My anxiety began to build.And then Bastion chuckled. I looked at him, then followed his gaze. Out ahead of us, in the distance, were more ships. Several of them, and as we approached, the thin morning fog began to burn away, and I saw a distant city under the ships.We'd made it to civilization, or close enough to it that things might get a little dicey for the pirates.A yawning Calamity came up onto the deck, squinted around, figured out why I was in a better mood, then shrugged. "Want me to plant a last couple of arrows in them? It's one long shot... but I bet I can do it one time in five. Won't be long until they're back inside my maximum range.""That might anger them," I said."If they even notice a random arrow striking their ship," Bastion said."Yeah, but it'll remind them that we can fight back, and that we're probably a bit tougher than they're used to," Calamity said."Hmm..." I thought about it, then shook my head. "Best not! Let's see about making it to Southerfell. I'm sure the city doesn't appreciate pirates and someone will be willing to help!"
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Five — Live to Tell the Tale
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Five — Live to Tell the Tale The pirates gave up at about the same time as reinforcements started to fly our way.The ship at the very front of the convoy, the PMS Streaker, used a strong light and some shutters to flash a signal out ahead. It wasn't very complex. "Encountered Pirates. Require Assistance." They kept sending the message over and over again, and when one of the closer ships over Southerfell asked for clarification, the Streaker explained in a few flashes that the ship behind us was a pirate vessel.A few of the merchant ships around Southerfell seemed to move back at that. Some didn't budge at all, and a few more decided to start moving our way.I think the pirates caught on that they'd lost their chance; they weren't going to be grabbing any booty.Even if they downed the entire convoy somehow, they'd never be able to retrieve anything while so close to the city.So they did the wise thing and veered hard to port, arcing toward the south and the depths of the forest.I cheered along with my friends on seeing the back of them, but the ship wasn't quite done. It used one of the searchlights on its rear to flash a final message. "Will Return."How spooky! But I wasn't too scared. In fact, I was feeling pretty confident at the moment, especially as the convoy relaxed out of flank speed and returned to a steadier, normal pace. We crossed paths with some of the ships from Southerfell, and I found myself leaning over the rails to catch a better look at them.Most of the ships around the city followed the same general pattern as the ships in the convoy. They were 'classic' airships. Big, canvas-wrapped bodies with their engines in nacelles along their middles and with a long cabin stretching along the bottom.A few were different. I saw a sleeker ship that looked like it was more boat than blimp, with a wooden structure and balloons above. That had to be a harpy design! And further back was a ship that was mostly balloon as well, only it had all of its engines and props at the very back. I think that was how Mattergrove made their ships?Ahead of us, the Streaker signaled a message via semaphore, asking for landing clearance. We received it within a minute and shifted our formation, lining up for a landing off to one side of Southerfell.To my eye, the city seemed strangely designed. The jungle beneath us had dominated the landscape for hundreds of kilometers, but now it broke against a sheer cliff that rose up to a wide plateau. Atop the cliff was a wall of stacked stones, as though the locals were dead certain that the cliff wasn't enough of a barrier.Behind the wall and atop the plateau were large, open fields, parallel lines of farmland crisscrossed by ditches and small roads and farmhouses, all leading to a short wall around Southerfell proper.It wasn't the biggest city we'd ever come across, but it wasn't tiny either. It began as a sprawl of smaller homes, building into taller structures as one traveled north, that squeezed in tighter around a central district.Looming over the city — although not in a menacing way, it was more of a friendly loom — was a large castle, settled atop a small hill overlooking the city. An uneven pentagonal layout, with sheer stone walls and a handful of broad, flat-topped towers jutting out of it. Upon each tower were some pretty large siege weapons. Maybe that was for anything hungry that came out of the jungle below?One of the fields near the city was the designated landing spot for airships. It was a large green pasture, with a few roaming sheep and some cattle that scurried away as the convoy came in for a landing.There was a second space for ships, with a small port facility, but it didn't look as advanced as what I'd seen back on... shoot, I still didn't know the name of the continent we'd just come from. I was on a new continent, right? I was sure I'd seen that on a map. It felt different.Clive guided the Beaver down, and we made a soft landing just next to one of the convoy ships. "Tell everyone to take the rest of the morning off," I told Clive as the propellor wound down. "You too."The old harpy huffed, and I had to hold back a laugh at that. Maybe huffing was more than just an Amaryllis thing? "I'm not too decrepit that I can't handle a bit of a long day," he said.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience."I know! But I think we all deserve a break after last night," I replied. I certainly felt like a nap wouldn't go amiss, but there were some captain-y things to take care of and it was my job to look them over.As I looked over the side of the ship, I noticed Captain Gum walking over, accompanied by a few officers from his ship and what looked like a guard captain, a human man with a tabard embroidered with a green shield that had a white pentagon centered on it."Ahoy!" I called out."Captain Bunch!" Captain Gum called out. "Well fought! I was hoping to speak, if I may?"I nodded, then hopped over the ship's railing and fell the two or so stories down to the grass, landing with a hard bend of my knees but no injuries.The guard captain startled, one hand pressing to his heart. "By the green depths, you're quite young to be a third tier, aren't you?"I blinked. I could almost feel question marks floating around my head. "Third tier?" I didn't think what I'd just done was three-classes level, was it? "No, no, I'm not there just yet! Soon though, maybe! We do have one on our crew! He's super strong." Bastion was definitely a tier above just about anyone."Maybe Captain Gum's story holds up a little better than I thought," the guard said. He reached a hand out and we shook. As it turned out, I was right, he was the captain of the guard for Southerfell, and he had a heap of questions.After spending so much time in a hot desert, the air felt surprisingly chilly — but the plateau was high, the sun had barely started warming us up, and it was January. We moved out of the shadow of the merchantmen's huge balloons to catch the sunlight and chatted for a moment. Captain Gum had filed a report already, but he wanted me to fill in the parts that he had missed. In the dark of night, our maneuver around the pirates had been hard to keep track of.So I did just that, explaining with a lot of gestures how we'd done a loop around the pirate ship, using the dead of night to stay hidden, and how we did our best to damage the ship."But that wasn't enough to take it down?" the guard captain asked."No, not nearly," I said. "We destroyed or at least severely damaged one of the ship's six engines, and we poked plenty of holes in their gas bags, but by the time morning came they'd fixed a lot of those.""Hmpf," Captain Gum said. "That was a well-executed plan nonetheless. Did your crew sustain any injuries? The ship?""The Beaver is fine," I said. "A few scratches and dents. We were hit by a few ballista bolts as well. Nothing critical, though."Captain Gum straightened a little. "In that case, allow me and the rest of the convoy to pitch in for the repairs. It's the least we can do.""Ah, that's really kind of you," I replied.The guard captain nodded along. "This is the first indisputable proof of piracy we have.""It is?" I asked."It is, according to the nobility," the guard said. He looked a bit annoyed at that. "All the other reports have either come from ships that never made it to the city at all, or those who dumped cargo along the way.""And those weren't enough?" I asked.Captain Gum grunted. "Dumping cargo works with these pirates. Most of the time, at least. But since there's no direct interaction, the nobility often suggests that the lost cargo was actually stolen by the crew, and they're just making up stories of pirates to try to deflect suspicion.""That's silly," I said.The guard captain cleared his throat. "I definitely did not hear you say that, and I definitely would not say that to a noble's face," he said. "In any case, half the city saw the pirates, four ships reported their attack, and your vessel was very obviously damaged, as were the pirates. It will be hard to dismiss the claims and harder to dismiss the rumours.""Oh, those must be flying right now," I said.He nodded at that. "They certainly are. More so if you allow locals to assist with the repairs. Speaking frankly, as one of the captains of the guard, my official position is that if pirates do exist within our skies, then we ought to do something about them.""Mhm!" I agreed. "We'll see what we can do. We won't be in Southerfell for too long, though. We're heading a little ways out, towards a small town... ah, I can't remember the exact details, but my first mate took some notes. Hopefully we'll be out of reach of any pirates for a while."
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Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Six — Edge of an Empire
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Six — Edge of an Empire Southerfell was as good a place as any to stick around for a day, even if I was a bit worried that the local nobility might be somewhat... not very nice, at least from the hints the nice guard captain had dropped.We weren't here for that, though, so I decided to not stick my ears out any more than I had to. It would be best to avoid problems.Our goal was that little village that Celiga, the historian, had brought up, and unfortunately we didn't know the exact location of it."So, this is the plan," Amaryllis said as we stood on the ship's deck. It was about midday. A lot of the crew had taken naps and we were... if not in tip-top shape, then at least we weren't so badly off. I think my Captaining skills was working to let me know that everyone was functional, at least, if not yet at their best. "Awen has a significant amount of repairs to look after. The Scallywags, and Steve, will be assisting her."Awen nodded once with a little 'mhm!' next to me. "I'll ah, do what I can," she said."Is the damage that bad?" I asked.She raised a hand and wiggled it in a so-so gesture. "The bolts that went through the hull are going to be annoying to repair. I have some skills to help, but it might be best if we can find a carpenter? One of the big hull-planks was smashed in half, so we'll need to replace it, and getting one cut and curved just right is going to be time-consuming. But it's not a structurally important part. I mean, no more than the rest of the hull? If it's not nice-looking, then it's not that bad, only...""Only we want it to be nice-looking," I said.Awen nodded. "Yeah.""We can afford to hire a carpenter," Amaryllis said. "While you do that, I'll be talking to the first mate of the other ships in the convoy. They did agree to donate some money, to get us back in fighting shape. The cost of a carpenter and some materials is nothing compared to the potential losses we helped them avoid."That seemed fair. "What's the rest of the plan?" I asked."You, Broccoli, are going to go into town with... hmm..." Amaryllis scanned the crew. "We need more humans if we're going to be working with humans.""Huh?" I asked."They tend to prefer working with their own sort," Amaryllis said. "I suppose you can go with Desiree. The two of you are close enough in appearance. Your goal is to locate the town we're heading to. Maps, rumours, any information you can find.""Alright!" I said with a thumbs up. That I could do! "What about the party?""The... what?" Amaryllis asked."What party?" Calamity asked.I pointed to Southerfell. It wasn't super obvious, but there were definitely signs. Banners were going up across the city, and it looked like people were cleaning rather vigorously. People seemed to have a lot of pep in their step. They might have just been happy, but my senses were telling me that there was something up."It's New Years Eve," Bastion said."Is it?" Caprica asked. She closed her eyes, lips moving, then opened them wide. "My goodness, it is. We'd be celebrating it tomorrow in Sylphfree.""Today in the Harpy Mountains, then," Amaryllis said. "At the stroke of midnight.""Do we know what they do here to celebrate?" I asked. There were a bunch of headshakes, so I supposed it would be up to me to find out! "Okay then! Well, I think we ought to have a bit of a celebration too. Calamity, Bastion, Caprica, you're not part of Amaryllis' plan, right?"Amaryllis' lips drew into a line, but she didn't say no."We're not," Calamity said."Neat! Then your job is to grab some coin and get us some food! I don't know how others celebrate New Years, but back home it's always been by gathering together, eating lots of finger food, and gossiping for hours until it's time to count the last seconds of the year away."That seemed like a plan that everyone could get behind. It would mean another long night, but this time with a much more fun twist than looking out for pirates. I think my friends deserved a bit of fun anyways!With everyone given some task or another, we split up and started to head out. It would be good to get any shopping or whatever done before the entire city got too excited for the New Year celebration and things closed down.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.Desiree came up next to me, and we joined arms as we made our way down some wooden stairs on wheels all the way to the ground."Feels weird to have left the desert so abruptly," I said."Hah! I could do without returning to that furnace!" Desiree said. She twisted her tails around and ran her fingers through the floof. "Half the desert's sand has insinuated itself into my fur."I giggled, then tried to help with a bit of Cleaning magic, but Desiree complained that even if there wasn't any sand in her tails, she could still feel it. We really had to find a way to install a shower in the Beaver, though I imagined that would be pretty complicated.The air around Southerfell was a huge departure from the air in the Ostri Desert. For one, it wasn't nearly as hot and dry. Instead, as the sun climbed higher, it was warm and wet.The northern end of the city overlooked a cliffside that dropped down to the Moonstruck Sea. We couldn't quite see it from where we were, but I'd caught sight of it from the air. The sea pushed out warm, swirling winds, thick with humidity.When the wind shifted and came from the south instead, it was even warmer and muggier. That way lay the Silverstar Forest. We'd flown over the northern edge of it, where forest was sparser.The Silverstar Forest was more of a jungle, from what I'd heard. Massive trees with huge, thick canopies covered a small, hidden world of entwined branches and vines and a multilayered thicket.I wouldn't want to have to navigate through that, actually. It seemed like an annoying kind of adventure.Desiree and I chatted until we reached the gate into the city. On this side, it was barely manned. A few guards who glanced us over before letting us in. I supposed that that was one of the advantages of being so far from everything.As we walked through the more industrial parts of Southerfell, all of them on the southern end of the city, we came across a large trainyard. It looked like there were cargo containers of different sizes, all being loaded into box-cars with cranes and trolleys.It looked like Southerfell was connected to the rest of Pyrowalk, all via a long trainline that ran along the northern shore all the way to a space called the Betrayer's Strait. At least, that's what I gathered from talking to a local for a few minutes while waiting at an intersection.The people here were pretty talkative, and it was nice to be able to just ask a question and have someone tell me what I wanted to know. Though Desiree and I did get a lot of weird looks and some double-takes. Whenever we talked to someone, they'd kept staring at our ears.Maybe it helped that we looked like adventurers, and that we were asking about the local adventuring places. They didn't have an Exploration Guild, but they did have one for adventurers, and people were happy to point us in that general direction.As we left the more industrial areas of the city, the new years stuff became more common and a lot more colourful.People were stringing up these long vines across the street and from home to home. I think they were cuttings taken from the forest. Little girls were weaving knots of flowers into the vines, and there were little wooden lanterns being put up all over. They had thin, papery covering and small wooden bases that held onto thick candles.The papers were often painted in greens and forestry colours, or in blues and greys with wavy patterns.Eventually, we found the Adventurer's Guild. It was nearer to the northern parts of the city, just a block over from the noble quarters and surrounded by nicer shops and other guilds. Young men and women, often wearing a few bits and bobs of armour and carrying sheathed weapons, were lingering around the place, but Desiree and I managed to squeeze our way in without too much trouble."Alright," I said as I turned to my foxy friend. "Let's find someone who's in charge around here, or like, an archivist, question them about the location of our destination, and then we can head back!"I was looking forward to celebrating the new year with my friends tonight!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Outside Context People
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Seven — Outside Context People "Hi," I said as I bounced up to a nice wooden counter. It wasn't so much nice because it was nice wood (though it wasn't ugly wood, certainly, the grain was... very grainy, and the counter had little filigree decorations along the outside) what made it nice, at least to me, was how worn it was.The counter had been treated with oils and such to keep it nice and shiny, but that didn't prevent a large area of it from being worn down. It looked like the kind of counter where a thousand little touches and scrapes had started to dig into the wood.It made it feel homey, and it fit in with the rest of the place.The Adventuring Guild reminded me a little of the Exploration Guild, but it did differ in some big ways.For one, it was a lot busier.For another, the Exploration Guild branches I'd stepped into had usually been pretty quiet and stately spaces. Comfy, sure, but like... luxuriously comfy? The guilds had nice furniture and a focus on classy materials that would last a long time. A lot of them felt almost like stepping into a museum, or a bank.I supposed that fit. The Guild had people that were nobility in their ranks, and old-timey Explorers were tough and usually on the well-off side, so their hangouts kind of felt that way. Like really fancy hunting lodges.The Adventurer's guild felt like more of a cross between a dingy-but-well-loved bar and an accountant's office.In one corner was fireplace with cheerily crackling flames, and in the other was a bar with moderately rowdy patrons. Behind the bar was a kitchen, from which wafted the scent of garlic and roasting meat and fresh bread, while in front of the bar were round tables and chairs and a lot of adventurers. On the other side of the seating were short counters with people behind them, including the one Desiree and I had arrived at.The young man behind the counter looked up from some papers and seemed to do that thing where he rewound and replayed my greeting. "Oh, uh, hello," he said. "How can I help you? Are you adventurers?""Nope," I said. "I just thought that this might be the best place to ask a few questions, but we could be wrong.""Certainly," the man said. He sat up in his seat, eyed mine and Desiree's ears for a moment, then refocused on my eyes. "So, what can I help you with?""We're members of the Exploration Guild," I said, thumbing my pin. "We're coming in from... I guess Port Royal? We're basically on a quest!"The receptionist blinked a couple of times, then started. "Oh! Well, that's very nice. We don't often get visitors from out of town. I mean, from out of the Empire. I suppose that explains the, uh..." he gestured vaguely above his head, making little ears out of his hands."I guess?" I said. "I was born a human, though," I said. "It's only when my class evolved that I got the bunny ears. See, I still have my old human ones." I shifted some hair out of the way to show him."Oh, you have an evolved class?" he asked. "That's impressive.""Almost everyone on the crew has at least evolved once," Desiree replied.The receptionist's smile turned a bit wooden at that. Was that something wrong to say? "R-really? Well, that's very, ah, impressive. In any case, did you wish to speak to the head of the guild?""No no," I said. "We're just looking for information about a small town."He blinked. "Okay. Well, we do have a member who hands out missions in the vicinity. Is this small town close to Southerfell?""It should be," I said. "It's along the coast of the Moonstruck Sea, at least."He nodded, then gestured for us to give him a minute. A solid three minutes later, the receptionist returned, escorting an older gentleman in the local equivalent of a suit. "Hello, this is mission commander Joshua Paperson. I think he might be able to assist you with your inquiry. If that inquiry turns into a mission for the guild, he should be able to help with that as well.""Hello," Mister Paperson said with a nod. "Pleasure to meet you, misses. Shall we have a seat somewhere a little more discreet?""That'd be nice!" As homey and warm as the main lobby was, it was also kind of on the louder side.Mister Paperson led us through a thin wooden door into the back area, which was quite richly appointed, with a thick carpet on the ground and oil lamps hanging on the walls providing enough soft light to see by.Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.We were brought into a small sitting room. "Tea? Coffee?" Mister Paperson asked."You have coffee?" I asked."Yes! Sourced from the jungle, in fact. It's one of the more popular types of missions to hand out to lower levelled adventurers. Of course, these come from local companies that ship them elsewhere, but a few beans always end up at the guild. I daresay some of our staff couldn't live without.""Wow! That's neat," I said. "But, ah, no thanks! I was never much of a coffee drinker. Some tea would be nice?""I shall try this 'coffee,'" Desiree said. "Why venture so far from home if not to attempt new things, yes?"Mister Paperson left, then quickly returned with two pots and something that looked like a French press. He poured for us while we made ourselves comfy on a pair of couches. "So, how might the guild assist two young ladies from our... sister organization.""Is the Exploration Guild well-known here?" I asked, curious."Not as well as the Adventurer's," he said. "Though the reputation of the Exploration Guild does precede it. Common folk in the Empire either see it as a knock-off of the Adventurer's guild-forgive me for that, I know it isn't accurate-or as a foreign take on something familiar. Those who know better are generally aware that the level caps in the Exploration Guild are a lot higher than what we usually keep.""Oh, I don't know, I haven't even been a member for a year.""But you did complete a dungeon and gained your second class," he pointed out."Well, yeah, I've completed ..." I paused and tried to count it out. "Nine dungeons? No, eight. I never got all the way through that Freudian one."He blinked."Anyway! We're getting off topic! My friends and I came to Southerfell because it's the nearest city to the place we're looking for.""And what place is that?" he asked."It's a small town along the coast. We don't have a name for it, but we're pretty sure it's to the east of Southerfell. It might be right next door, or some ways away. I don't know, but I was hoping someone here might!"He reached up and rubbed at his chin. "We could provide you with a map with such locations, but I'd be failing at my job if I don't at least charge a nominal fee, you understand?""Yup! That makes sense," I said. Maps had to be made, and that couldn't be cheap! There were probably people out there with some sort of Cartographer class, though. But I bet that they weren't exactly common!Mister Paperson nodded. "In that case, I'm certain we can help you. Would you mind if I enquire as to why you're looking for this town?""I don't," I said. "If you know about the Exploration Guild, then you'll know that we like exploring things. We're hunting down an old mystery. Have you ever heard of the Black Avatars?"His eyebrows rose. "I have. In children's stories, mostly.""Neat! That's kind of what we're chasing after. Apparently they had an old fortress next to one of the towns near here, and one day it up and left. The entire fortress! That's really neat, so we want to check the area out.""So ..." his expression had turned a bit uncertain. "You chartered an airship and ... flew all the way out here to investigate this ... fortress?""Chartered?" I asked."I mean, booked passage.""Oh, no no, the ship we came on-the Beaver Cleaver-is ours," I said.He cleared his throat. "I see." He tugged at the neck of his nice suit. "Well, in any case. For one gold piece, I'm certain we can provide you with a map, and I can canvas the adventurers that are present to see if any knows what town, specifically, you'll be looking for?""That would be super nice!" I said. I opened up my pouch, rooted around for a moment within, then set down the smallest gold coin I had onto the counter. "Is that good enough?" I asked."Of course!" he said.Desiree was shaking her head next to me for some reason."I'll get that for you right away. Wait here for just a moment.""Okay!" I said.Now... since we were mostly done, maybe I could ask someone local about their way of celebrating New Years? It'd be fun to try!
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Lunch and Learn
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Eight — Lunch and Learn Since it was nearly noon, it only made sense for Desiree and I to grab a little bite to eat. We were spoiled for choice-the northern parts of the city were dotted with countless cafes and open-air restaurants.Before leaving the Adventurer's Guild, we'd gotten to speak with an older man who was about my dad's age. He'd been very nice, but a little confused about what we were doing. In any case, his job as an Adventurer had been to clear and protect the roads from Southerfell all the way to the furthest of the small towns along the coast.That meant that he'd visited every one of them, at least a few times each year, and had a good idea of where each one was.When I asked him about a mysterious disappearing fortress he had mentioned that one of the towns had a myth that wasn't too dissimilar to that and had pointed it out on the map.It was a town called Blackwatch, which, when I asked about the name, did strike him as somewhat weird.Blackwatch was the third-farthest town from Southerfell, with a population in the mid two-hundreds. It mostly did farming, some bit of mining, and there were apparently a few decent bloomeries there.I had to ask what that was. Apparently it was a big smelter thing that turned iron-rich rock into lumps of low-quality iron that was shipped back to Southerfell by the trainload. Neat!With the map we'd bought safely tucked away and a bunch of extra information crammed between my ears, I had decided the lunch was in order. Hence the hunt for a good spot to grab a bite.We settled on a cafe along the main street. It had a small picket fence taking up some of the sidewalk, and there was plenty of space to sit down at a few tables with parasols above them.Desiree sat across from me, her chair turned at an angle to accommodate for her tails. "Hey," I asked. "How are chairs made where you're from?"Desiree blinked, then giggled into her hand. "What an outlandish query, though I suppose it is I who is the outlandish one here. As for our seating, you'll find that we prefer stools for simple seating at home and the like, but most seats with backs are designed so that the backrest comes in from the side and sweeps around to support your mid-back. There are, of course, male and female chairs.""Huh?" I asked."It depends on the side in which the back has a slit," she said."Really?"She nodded. "Just as how garments have their tail clasp on the left for women and right for men."Wait, was this like wearing watches on opposite wrists, or the zippers on pants being on different sides, only for tails? "I didn't know that," I said. "That's neat! So if I ever look for something with room for my tail where you're from, I'll have to pay some attention to that?""Perhaps, yes," Desiree replied. "Rare as foreign visitors may be, it is customary to extend concessions to them. Any faux pas would be excused away, just as they would be for children... well. To a point.""That makes sense," I said. Then I perked up as a nice lady came over and took our orders. There was tea and biscuits and little puffs of sweet bread-the smell of baking bread had been one of the reasons we'd stopped here-covered in fresh jam made from local fruit. We ordered a bit of this and some of that, and then the lady headed out to prepare everything."This is a pleasant day," Desiree replied. "Perhaps this afternoon I'll take some time to consolidate my gains.""Your gains?" I asked.She nodded, then paused and eyed me with... not suspicion, maybe something like curiosity. "We did survive quite the little ordeal overnight, did we not? Surely your skills have flourished.""Oh, I guess?" I said. "I guess I haven't even given it any thought until just no-"I started a bit as Mister Menu popped up next to me, almost as if he was making up for lost time.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Snoozing skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank C costs 1 Skill Point!"Oh, hello there," I said to the menu.Desiree giggled sweetly. "I see!""Usually the skills just... pop up," I said."Only if you're attempting to press them forwards. The World refrains from interrupting at ill-advised times. In my lands, most people have a ritual of taking stock of their growth each and every day, so any new levels or advancement becomes swiftly apparent, but for the few who don't pay as close attention, the World doesn't press."Huh, I supposed that made some sense. I reached up and poked Mister Menu, but as usual, he poofed with a soap-bubble pop."Do you mind if I look over my stats?" I asked."I do not, of course," Desiree replied. "I'll keep an eye peeled on our surroundings and both ears perked for trouble, yes?"I smiled, thankful, then poked at the menu with my mind.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
18
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
7
Age
16
Health
165
Stamina
185
Mana
170
Resilience
80
Flexibility
95
Magic
40
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 32%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 59%
Adorable
D — 100%
Chivalry
D — 48%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 45%
Social Butterfly
D — 100%
Snoozing
D — 100%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 100%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
C — 100%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
C — 100%
Skill Points
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
5
Wonderlander Skill Points
7
General Skill Points
6
Skill Slots
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
4
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.I hummed as I read over my sheet. There was a lot of progress there, and yet. "Oh... I really ought to spend a skill point one day," I said."Do you have much to spend?" Desiree asked.I nodded quickly. "Yup! Um... eighteen of them."She stared so hard I could almost feel it. "Eighteen? Dearest Captain, do my ears deceive me? You have nearly as many unspent points as I have lived years?""Um... maybe?" I tried. For some reason I was feeling a smidge of shame. "I'm saving some of them! My Cleaning magic is really cool, so what if I got it to the rank past S?""S being the Master rank of a skill?" Desiree asked."Yeah, I think that's what it's called," I agreed.She tilted her head to the side a little, which made her ear flick slightly, which was very cute. I had to wonder if she, too, was burdened by the Cute or Adorable skill line. "That's a lofty goal, I suppose. Grandmastery of a magical ability is doubtlessly an impressive feat that most wouldn't truly consider. Nonetheless, is that skill not tied to only one of your tails? Classes, I mean.""Yeah," I said. "My main class, Cinnamon Bun Bun. The other has... a lot of unspent skills too.""Then perhaps consider investing some of those? No one ever profited from hoarding their points under their tails. If you have a goal for them, then certainly they might come to be of some use, but otherwise, they're potential with no outlet.""Hmm..." Well, she wasn't wrong. "I also... ah..." I glanced around, making sure no one was near enough to overhead."We have been conversing in my native tongue, if privacy is a concern," Desiree confided. By the look of her, she was amused that I hadn't noticed.That made a lot of sense, it was a great way to keep our conversation private. Although, if we were speaking in a foreign language, it might explain some of the looks we were getting. But then again, I suppose we also appeared foreign ... and cute too, unfortunately. We attracted attention in a lot of ways."I have a lot of General Skill points as well," I admitted. "From the World asking me to, uh, fix up the occasional dungeon.""Ah, yes. Something of great worth, that. And uncommon to the point of enormous value. I can see why discretion is warranted.""Yeah. I've been trying to get some new General Skills, but they've been tricky. But you know about that." Thick Skin and Mana Regeneration were still out of my grasp. "But I think I might use a few points to improve some of my other General Skills. I think I know what I want out of them.""Oh? Please, go on, satisfy my curiosity?""Sure! So... at first, I was thinking more combat-y skills and such, but really, I don't think that's ever really been my role. I think I might spend more time and effort improving my social abilities. Stuff like Captaining and Friendmaking, or Social Butterfly and Hugging Proficiency?""That seems eminently sensible, for a captain to have the skills of their trade seems only natural to me. You've steered us well thus far, but learning to feel the nudge of the World wouldn't hurt."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Upskill
Chapter Five Hundred and Fifty-Nine — Upskill I stared at Mister Menu for so long that I worried the poor thing might actually be getting annoyed.Desiree and I were probably overdue to return to the Beaver, but I really wanted to push some of my skills forward. "Hey," I said."Yes?" Desiree replied. She was nibbling away at a pastry. It was a Pyrowalkian speciality, a sort of square of sweeter bread with jam atop it, covered in a layer of thin wafers of crunchy bread which was in turn covered in a sort of powdered sugar. She was breaking off bits of the bread and dipping it in the jam in the centre."Um, is there anything bad that can happen if you level up too many skills at once?" I asked.Desiree blinked, then she tilted her head, considering the question. "No, I don't believe so. The World avoids manifesting harmful system aspects. That being said, I suppose that there are some skills that require time and practice to adapt to, and of course, evolutions are an entirely different matter. Progressing from one tail to two is wholly disorienting."I nodded along, very aware of the long, floppity ears atop my head. Yeah, gaining limbs, or anything poky, was a bit of an adaptation."Hmm... Okay, in that case, I think I'll see if I can't level a few skills. Captaining and Friendmaking, Social Butterfly and Hugging Proficiency?""Four at once?" Desiree asked. "Such daring!""I think it might be worthwhile," I said with a nod. "I guess I'll start with the more General skills." That seemed like a bit less of a risk. "Mister Menu, could you be a dear and show me Captaining?"Mister Menu flickered away and returned, showing me the screen for the Captaining skill.CaptainingRank C — 100%The ability to lead and take charge through smooth sailing and rough patches. You have a magical awareness of your ship and crew.Hmm, that magical awareness hadn't really come up all that often, had it? I glanced over in the general direction of the Beaver Cleaver and... yeah, I knew it was about over there and that my friends were that way too."Okay, here' goes," I muttered. "Mister Menu, two points into Captaining, please! Let's get that up to Rank B!"A new screen popped up, Mister Menu displaying a nice little congratulatory message, then under that, the new information for Captaining.Congratulations! Captaining is now Rank B!CaptainingRank B — 00%The ability to lead and take charge through smooth sailing and rough patches. You have a magical bond with your ship and crew.It took a moment for me to sense the difference, but it was definitely there. Up until now, my awareness of the ship had been faint enough to ignore. Now, it was stronger, clearer. It felt a bit like a pinch in my tummy, and for a moment I was worried that I had cramps, but no, it was different. "Oh!" I said.It was pain. Not very strong pain, more like a phantom pain?Once, when I was a younger me, I had a big, really nasty toothache. It hurt a bunch, and it was really not fair because I brushed my teeth every day and didn't eat very many candies, but it happened anyway.My parents had brought me to the dentist, and even through it was a little scary, the dentist had been nice and kind and had drilled out whatever was making my tooth hurt and filled it all in. I vaguely recalled the feeling that night, like the pain was still there, even if it really wasn't anymore.What I felt now was similar. Was it the damage that that Beaver had taken? The bolt through the deck and the dozen or so holes punched into the balloon? That was... interesting."Do you need a washroom?" Desiree asked."No, I'm okay, just a weird cramp."She blinked. "There are spells for that which every young woman ought to know.""There are? Wait, no, I mean... my skill levelled up, and now I've got a sort of phantom feel for the Beaver. It's interesting. Ah, but the ship was damaged a little, so it feels like it hurts, but it also doesn't?""That must be a strange sensation, then.""Yeah, I'm not sure I like it much. But if Awen is fixing up the Beaver then I'm sure it'll pass!"Since Captaining's change wasn't all that bad, I decided to focus on the next skill that I wanted to raise. That was Friendmaking.Of all those that I was looking at, this was the one that I was most worried about.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.Currently, Friendmaking let me see what a person's hopes and dreams were, and what they were looking for in a friend, and that was all good and useful! The problem was that I was a bit worried about what the skill might do with even a minor upgrade."Mister Menu, I'm thinking about upgrading Friendmaking, but... only if it'll help me make friends honestly. I don't want anything that's unfair, or like... changes how people see me. That wouldn't be a real friendship then, would it?"Desiree blinked. "Isn't that the same as merely putting one's best foot forward and combing their tail before a meeting?""I think there's a difference," I said. "I'm not a philosopher, to really know, but I feel like trying your best to be friendly is one thing, and having magic that cheats at it for you is another. I don't know.""Well, you've asked... Mister Menu, whom I am presuming is a personification of the system and therefore the World, not to give you anything of the sort," Desiree said."Does the World listen?" I asked.She shrugged. "I've heard that it does, but I was never witness to anything too convincing in that regard. But I can't imagine that you could do more than that.""I guess," I replied. "Let's see what that does, right Mister Menu?"Congratulations! Friendmaking is now Rank B!FriendmakingRank B — 00%The ability to make friends! When asking someone to join you in forming a bond of friendship, you may know their desires and the qualities they look for. By pushing some magic into the skill, you may know more, such as their insecurities and the quiet barriers that keep them from opening up."Oh!" I said, then I clapped and tried to grab Mister Menu for a hug, but he darted up and out of reach."Did the skill improve?" Desiree asked."Uh-huh!" I replied. "Quite a bit, too! Now I can use magic with the skill, and it tells me a little more.""Well, that's certainly interesting. And it doesn't do as you feared, manipulating others and the like?"I shook my head. "I don't think so! This is pretty nice, actually. Do you mind if I try it on you?""I don't mind at all," Desiree said. She sat back in her seat and straightened herself up. It didn't help her very much, she was still quite a bit shorter than me, especially sitting down with one of her tails wrapped around onto her lap."Hi! Would you like to be my friend?"Desiree ChartreuseDesired Quality: Someone kind and fun to be with.Dream: To gain many tails and return home a hero."Certainly!" Desiree replied. "Did that do anything?""I think so. The information's all the same, at least... from what I recall. It tells me your dream and what you want from a friend.""Interesting," she said. "And no more?""Ah, the new version requires that I pump some mana into the skill first. Can I try again?" At her nod, I charged mana into the skill as I spoke: "Would you like to be my friend?"Desiree ChartreuseDesired Quality: Someone kind and fun to be with.Dream: To gain many tails and return home a hero.Insecurities: Worried that she lacks the strength to live up to her own standards, and worries that others respect her more for her persona than for her true self. Worried that some might discover her true self. Craves recognition and admiration.Barrier to friendship: None, you are friends already."Oh, that's a lot more information," I said. Then I scooted out of my chair, went around the table, and folded down onto Desiree, giving her a big hug. "And your worries are very silly.""They are?" she asked. "I'll admit I'm not certain at the moment what my worries even are.""Well, it says that you're worried that you're not strong enough, and that people don't like you for who you are, and that's silly, because you're my friend, so of course I like you for whomever you wanna be."I gave her a squeeze, just in case.She shuddered for a second, then I felt her muscles unwind a notch. "...Thank you," she mumbled. Then she laughed, and her big fluffy tails wrapped around me, soft fur pulling me closer.She shuddered for a second, then I felt her muscles unwind a notch. "... Thank you," she mumbled.It felt like some kind of weight had fallen away from her.I think I was gonna get along just fine with this new version of Friendmaking.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty — Social Skills
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty — Social Skills "Are you going to level up those other two skills?" Desiree asked.We were done with lunch, so now it was time for drinks. Mostly it was more hot cocoa. Real hot chocolate, made by warming up dark chocolate and mixing it with some milk and then sprinkling a bit of nutmeg on top. All it was missing was some whipped cream and it would be perfect.It was actually getting a smidge colder out. Not actually cold. We weren't that high up and I was pretty sure we were on the same latitude as a literal desert, so it wasn't a chilly place, but it was still... not that hot out anymore. A few clouds had rolled in, and it was the last day of the old year, so we were smack in the middle of winter."I don't know," I said, answering her question. "Should I? I've upgraded two skills. Isn't that a lot?"Desiree gave me a rather flat look. "Captain Bunch," she said."We're friends," I said. "You hardly need to call me by my title.""I'm invoking it as emphasis of my mild displeasure," Desiree said with a tilt of her head. "Does it not come through? I thought that your translation was nearly perfect.""Oh," I said. "I guess it does. I just didn't catch it. Sorry, go on!""Yes, well, as I was saying, Captain Bunch, you seem very reluctant to grow more powerful, by level or by practice. This is well and good if your intent is to live a simple and pastoral life, but those who seek out simplicity rarely find themselves captaining an exploratory mission out on the frontier."I pouted, but it wasn't like she was wrong. "Yeah, I guess. Okay. Mister Menu, can I see my stats again, please?"
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
18
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
7
Age
16
Health
165
Stamina
185
Mana
170
Resilience
80
Flexibility
95
Magic
40
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skills
Cleaning
S — 32%
Way of the Mystic Bun
C — 100%
Gardening
D — 59%
Adorable
D — 100%
Chivalry
D — 48%
Wonderlander Skills
Mad Millinery
D — 100%
Proportion Distortion
C — 45%
Social Butterfly
D — 100%
Snoozing
D — 100%
General Skills
Insight
C — 100%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
C — 100%
Archeology
D — 100%
Friendmaking
B — 02%
Hugging Proficiency
C — 100%
Captaining
B — 00%
Cinnamon Bun Bun Skill Points
5
Wonderlander Skill Points
7
General Skill Points
2
Seeing my General Skill Points sitting at two instead of six was painful. I'd worked hard for those! We'd cleared entire dungeons of Evil Roots just for a few points like that. It hurt a smidge to see them gone.At the same time... being able to feel the Beaver more clearly was nice, and Friendmaking was already at 2%!It wouldn't be long before it was maxed out. Not that that should be any reason to be a lazy bun and give up on the hard work of making even more friends!Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel."Alright," I said. "Let's do a Wonderlander skill next, right Mister Menu? Can you put a point into Social Butterfly, please?"Congratulations! Social Butterfly is now Rank C!Social ButterflyRank C — 00%The ability to flit from conversation to conversation and make the best of any social situation. By expanding some magical energy, you can summon magical wings to dazzle and flit about with greater ease.I blinked. "Huh?"That didn't make sense! A social butterfly wasn't an actual kind of butterfly, it was a metaphor for someone that was good at being social!"Is something the matter?" Desiree asked rather rhetorically. She sat up in her seat, tails swishing nervously."Social Butterfly says that it gives me wings," I said."Wings? Truly?" Desiree asked. She shifted to the side and looked past me, or at my back."I haven't summoned them yet.""Why not?""Um," I said. "I don't know? I feel like Amaryllis would be upset with me if I used a skill like that without testing it first? Maybe we should go back to the Beaver and test it there? Besides, if they're able to make me fly, I'll want to talk with Bastion and Caprica!"They had pretty wings and would know how they work!"Does the text elucidate any other details of the skill's function?" Desiree asked.I shook my head. "No, that's the only new part, I think. The rest sounds like what I remember."Desiree reached up and pinched her chin in thought. "Well, I would certainly be inclined to unfurl my new wings immediately, but I'm hardly known as a bastion of longstanding patience. Waiting until a more appropriate time is a respectable enough choice, I suppose.""Thanks," I replied. "It's only a short walk back, and we were heading that way anyway, right?""As soon as you get that last skill ranked up, yes," Desiree replied.I pouted harder."Fine," I said. I wasn't sure why I was so reluctant to spend my upgrade points. Maybe it was like spending money. I'd grown up without much of it, so I was always afraid that if I spent it all, I wouldn't get any more, and that usually meant keeping as much of it on hand as possible. "Mister Menu? Can... ah, can we do one last skill level up?"The stat screen stood there... agreeably."Thanks! Okay, last one for today. And it's Hugging Proficiency."Congratulations! Hugging Proficiency is now Rank C!Hugging ProficiencyRank C — 00%The ability to hug. Your proficiency and instincts for hugging have improved! Hug harder, hug better. Your hugs now allow you to share your magical energy with others, warming their minds and souls."Oh! This one's going to be very fun to test," I said. "C'mere, Mister Menu!"I hopped up, wrapping my arms around the menu, and I was pretty sure I succeeded in giving him a bit of a hug, then he popped away.Aww, was he shy? Maybe I shouldn't have been pushing his boundaries so much?"What skill was that?" Desiree asked. "I believe you listed them, but I've likely forgotten. Forgive me.""Oh, this one is Hugging Proficiency. Now rank C! I think I can give people mana now?""Truly? That's an interesting ability. There's a skill from my home country that is frequently used by single-tailed apprentice magi and their ilk that allows them to donate magical energy to others. It's seen as a fair trade for an apprentice to serve as a battery to feed the growth of a superior mage while being allowed to learn from them.""That's neat. Though I'd be worried about exploitation or something.""Hmm, yes, I suppose it is a worry," she replied. "Imagine someone like our erstwhile Amaryllis, only with two or three lesser mages feeding her more mana. Already, she is a harbinger of havoc and devastation. With others feeding her ambitions, she may well be able to send forth destruction sufficient to rival someone with three or more tails."I considered it, but then shrugged. Amaryllis would never use me that way, right? Besides, if she came to me asking for more hugs, even magical ones, I'd be hard-pressed to refuse."Ah, should we test it?" I asked."If we're returning to the ship already, we might as well make some time to test both this and your other new acquisition at the same time," Desiree said. "Ah, and didn't you want to pick up a few goods on the way?""Oh, shoot, you're right," I said.I hopped to my feet, used a smidge of Cleaning magic on myself and then the table and such to leave it even nicer than we'd come, then I squared away the bill with the nice waitress who'd served us.That all done, Desiree and I headed out.I ended up asking some locals along the way for some advice. Mostly about what the usual New Years meals were, and where we could find some to-go. I wasn't sure how the rest of the crew celebrated, but in my time on Dirt I'd come to realize that just about every culture celebrated things with at least some commonalities.Good food and good company was never something that people complained about, and my crew supplied one of those two already!We ended up stopping by a small grocer for some fresh produce, a restaurant for a few cooked, warm meals, and then a bakery for a few loaves of fresh, still over-warm bread that smelled so good I was hard pressed not to drool.Soon enough, we were within sight of the Beaver Cleaver, and as soon as I saw it, I could feel my new and improved Captaining skill snapping into place.
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-One — Some Wings for a Miss
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-One — Some Wings for a Miss "Amaryllis!" I cheered. She was leaning on the ship's railing, not far from where the access stairs had been rolled up to the Beaver. "We're back!" I waved my one free arm up and over my head. The other was preoccupied with holding onto the food and stuff we'd bought."I can see that," Amaryllis called down. "Good to see you've managed to make it back intact. The others have all returned.""Uh-huh, I can tell," I said with a grin as I started up the steps two at a time, outclimbing Desiree, who followed at a more sedate pace. I quickly reached Amaryllis. "Were you waiting for me?"Amaryllis crossed her arms. "No," she lied. "I just had a sense that you were up to something foolish when it took you so long to return."I grinned. "A sense? Is it something like my Captaining skill? Since you're not the captain, maybe... First Mating?""First... Broccoli, you idiot," Amaryllis sputtered. She was a little red in the cheeks, especially as I giggled.I set my things down onto the deck, then raised my arms up in an optimal hugging position. Amaryllis kept her arms crossed."C'mon! Hugs? Please? You'll like it! Promise?"She huffed, and it was a very strange huff, a sort of 'okay, yeah, I will like it, but you won't hear it from me' sort of huff. Then she took a small step forward and allowed me to glomp her up into a tight-tight hold.Magic welled up, a soothing warmth carried by Hugging Proficiency's guidance, and I had no reason to stop it.Amaryllis gasped as my mana jumped from me to her. I wasn't sure what it felt like on her end, but on mine it was like wrapping us up in a warm blanket. A very fuzzy one, that smelled a bit like woodsmoke."Broccoli?" she asked. "What is this?""I upgraded!" I cheered. "Hugging Proficiency was one of the skills I ranked up. It lets me share mana now. That was... ten out of a hundred and seventy of my mana pool."Amaryllis shivered, then when I opened my arms a little to see if she still wanted hugs, she carefully stepped out of my hug, though she didn't go very far. "That was... interesting. Rather intimate.""Intimate?" I asked. "In like, a married couple way or close friends kind of way?" That could be bad.She shook her head. "Nothing like that, quash any perverted thoughts you might have between your four ears. It's more that... hmm, how can I put this... I have a rather acute sensitivity to magic, something which comes with my magic-focused class and skills. It gives me a keen sense for mana.""What insight have you gleaned from your arcane senses?" Desiree asked as she approached.Amaryllis nodded to her in greeting. "Nothing untoward. Just an impression of... Broccoli. You mana itself is very clean and pure. It ... lightened my burdens?" she trailed off."Ah! Well, I hope it's usable, still?" I asked."Probably, yes. If anything, other than the form-factor of the transfer, this may be a strong multiplier for some of us. More mana at my disposal may well mean that I'll be able to unleash greater spellwork more often. Hmm." She eyed me the way someone who was a little peckish might eye a cake and I wasn't sure if I liked that."I got other skills too!" I said.Amaryllis placed her talons on her hips. "Oh?" she asked.I bobbed my head with a quick nod. "I upgraded a bunch of them! Captaining, Social Butterfly, Hugging Proficiency, of course, and Friendmaking!"One of her eyebrows perked up at that. "Quite the list. And some of those were at least at the rank where the next level up would give you a decent amount of power.""Uh-huh," I agreed. "Captaining now gives me a much stronger sense of the Beaver and my crew. Location, emotions, health — even the health of the Beaver! That board they're working on is like a phantom pain. Now that I'm here... Desiree feels like more crew than someone like Bastion does? But Caprica is also more crew-er than Desiree, but less than the Scallywags and way less than the harpy crew.""I suppose that the skill may be taking into account-to some degree-how much those people see themselves as part of the crew and ship," Amaryllis said.I nodded. Awen felt as close to the Beaver as Amaryllis. Closer, even. Clive, interestingly, was a bit less than Steve and Gordon and the Scallywags. Maybe because he'd been on a bunch of ships before, and unless he retired after being part of the Beaver's crew, it was possible that he didn't see it as a more permanent home.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.Or it could be something else. I decided not to dive too deeply in the potential reasons why the crew felt more or less loyal or part of the ship. That way led to doubting my friends, and that wasn't something that I wanted on the Beaver at all."I got some other things too," I said. "From Friendmaking and Social Butterfly.""Oh?" Amaryllis asked. "Go on, then. Anything useful?"I nodded. "I can see more information about people when I ask them to be my friend."Amaryllis nodded, then stared expectantly at me.I stared back."What?" I finally asked."Well, ask me," she said."But I thought we were already best friends?"The blush was back, but stronger this time. "You... idiot. It's for science. And stop saying such... foolish things out loud. Some thoughts are best kept within that cavernous head of yours," Amaryllis said while Desiree hid her mouth behind her hand and giggled up a storm next to her."Okay!" I said. "Well, as long as you know that you're one of my very best friends, then it's okay! Would you like to be my friend?"Amaryllis AlbatrossDesired Quality: Someone capable to rule by her side.Dream: To make her family and nation proud of her.Insecurities: Worried that others may judge her for not doing enough. Worried that she's doing too much. Worried that others will surpass her while she is out adventuring. Worried that the adventure might end. Worried that her friends don't know her. Worried about learning how to get to know her friends."Aww!" I said. Amaryllis tried to stop me from giving her a hug, but my Hugging Proficiency level was higher than her (nonexistent) Hug Dodging skill and so she completely failed to stop me from giving her the nicest, tightest squeeze I could. Hugging Amaryllis was nice. Her feathers were soft."Get off me, you oaf.""Nope! Not until we have a long, long sit-down, and a chat, and we all get to share stories about ourselves, and you'll know everything about us, and we'll know all of your deepest, darkest secrets.""That sounds like torture. You're describing torture, Broccoli," Amaryllis said.I laughed. "Friendship is the best kind of torture," I said. "It's like exercise, but without the sweat and muscle aches, and more fun.""You are a very strange creature, Captain Bunch," Desiree said with a swish of her tails."What did your other skills give you?" Amaryllis asked."Oh, I got wings," I said.She stared blankly at me. "Wings.""Mhm! Look!" I concentrated real hard, and then felt my mana drain. At the same time, I could vaguely catch sight of a glow forming behind me. I turned, spinning in a little circle to better see the pair of butterfly wings that had sprouted on my back. They were about as large as my torso, with faint blue lines glowing through their form, but mostly they were ghostly and glowing."You have no idea the amount of envy you'd inspire in a less self-assured harpy," Amaryllis said. "And this is from a General skill?""One of my Wonderlander skills," I corrected."That's even better," she said, her voice sounding just slightly envious. "You'll have a lot more skill points to spend on it."I nodded, then I tried to take off... Instead, my wings flapped rather lazily, as if working against a lot of resistance, and all I managed to do was shove myself forwards and back a little.I imagined I'd get about the same result if I taped two large pieces of cardboard onto my arms and flapped those as hard as I could."I'll be writing about this, if you don't mind," Amaryllis said. "My sisters and parents would love to hear about this. There may be others with the Social Butterfly skill who haven't yet levelled it to such a degree.""Are wings so valuable to you?" Desiree asked. "Already, you are blessed with two of them.""Obviously," Amaryllis said. "We are a proud, winged species... and yet our flight is mostly reserved to gliding about. The sylph, our long-time rivals, have similar wings and seem to delight in flitting about uselessly.""I'm not even sure I can manage flitting yet," I said."Well, speak with Bastion, or better yet, Caprica. Perhaps they'll deign to assist you," Amaryllis said. "A bun with wings... What's next, Broccoli, a scorpion's tail?""If I put a marshmallow on the end, I could use that for hugging!""Idiot."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Two — Year of the Bun
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Two — Year of the Bun Showing off my wings to Caprica was fun.Showing them off to Bastion was a mistake.He took one look at them, then before I quite knew what was happening, I found myself running exercises to see if I could use them as more than pretty back-based decoration. I didn't want to do exercise, I wanted to have fun with my friends, but Bastion had me running laps of the Beaver's top deck instead.Fortunately, I had an out. It was the New Year, and we had to party, and parties were hard work! I couldn't do one while all sweaty and tired.Bastion said that being tired just meant that I was building up my stamina, and he reminded me that Cleaning magic meant that my sweat wouldn't stink.I was seriously contemplating dropping Bastion from Super-Duper Best Friend to merely Super Best Friend. Caprica came to my rescue, and I was freed, enough so that I could get to work planning out the dinner I had wanted to have with the whole crew.It wasn't anything too special. We had the local cuisine that Desiree and I had purchased in the city, as well as some tasty odds and ends saved up in the pantry, so we pulled out the table from the dining room downstairs and Awen helped us turn a few planks into a second, longer table to set all of the food on.I convinced a few friends to help warm things up, and soon enough we were shifting meals from the kitchen up onto the deck and lining them up."So, is there like... a new years song, or something?" I asked."No?" Awen said. "Um, should there be?""I mean, I guess not," I said. "But there might have been.""We have parades on New Years," Caprica said. "Which often include marching bands. So I suppose that that counts, though they're usually playing some variation of the national anthem or one of the marching songs, and while I do enjoy a good marching song they're not exactly... well, they're marches. They just don't sound right without the entire band and hundreds of soldiers in lockstep."Bastion nodded along next to her. "Didn't you participate in the Army Marching Band?" he asked.Caprica's cheeks took on a hint of redness. "Yes. As an extracurricular. It was noted that being part of any military-adjacent group like that was good for one's future career. That was... mostly a lie. Well, not entirely. It was a way for young adults to make contacts and friends who would later likely be in the Sylph military at a younger age, so that's useful, I suppose."I nodded along. "I don't think we have what it takes to do a full marching band," I said.Caprica cleared her throat. "No, of course not. I suppose I went off track. To answer your question about whether or not we have music specifically for New Years... no."I couldn't help but giggle. "Alright then! What do people do for New Years, other than eat well and hang out?"The answer came, not from the Beaver but from the city right next to us. A lone spell shot up and up, catching all of our attention, growing brighter as it went until it was like a little star caught in the waning hours of the evening.With a flash and a bang, it burst into tiny motes of magic that spiraled away, then detonated with a brilliance to rival one of Amaryllis' spells."An attack?" Desiree asked."No, fireworks!" I cheered.A moment later, a few more spells went up from different parts of the city, and even if they weren't quite as radiant as the first one, they were no less enthusiastic. I could start to make out cheers and then even music. People were singing something.My friends and I ate up, chatted, and as the day darkened early, we watched Southerfell come alive. Those first few fireworks were soon followed by more and more people shooting spells up into the cloudy sky.Two casters eventually started to compete for who could create the more dazzling show, one of them making big dragons and dancing images, while the other fired out balls of fire and big explosions that only grew bigger and louder as the evening went on."Drunken wizards," Amaryllis complained. She had a cup of wine held in her own talons. I didn't even know that we had wine on the Beaver. Apparently someone had brought some onboard for special occasions, and tonight counted, so most of the crew were drinking.Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.Calamity had snuck out to buy beer as well, and he was sharing a drink with Oda and Clive and Bastion to one side.I stuck to juice. Alcohol tasted way too bitter.The city opened up with more fireworks, this time the more traditional sort. Tiny rockets that shot up and exploded with loud whumps and cracks and which left bright sparkling lights behind. Spells were still shooting out though, piercing the early night with bright lights.Eventually, Calamity convinced us to try and join in on the fireworks. It was a much more fun use of magic than trying to blow up pirate ships... more or less, so I was happy to join in.Amaryllis, of course, set the bar. She cast a complex spell that created a massive bolt of arcing lightning that somehow froze in place for a whole three seconds, revealing a huge tree of branching electrical arcs that reached high up into the sky.She said that it was more visually impressive than it was dangerous. The magic was so spread out that it was quite weak, but it was very big and shiny.Without being able to make stuff out of glass, Awen just cast some balls of light into the air, and Caprica did something similar with flare spells.Bastion knew a few of those as well. They were a standard Sylph military thing, to signal things across an entire battlefield.The scallywags knew some fireball spells and a few other little tricks, but they didn't have anything that stood out too much.Maybe that was something we could work on? The Beaver stood up well in that last fight, but if everyone on the crew could fire off at least one particularly strong spell, then maybe we'd be even stronger? I'd have to see if Amaryllis could take some time off of her First Mate work to teach everyone something with a bit more kick.I tried my own hand at creating a light show. I didn't have as much mana to burn as Amaryllis, or as many cool spells, but what I did have was good control of my Cleaning magic, and it did glow a little.So I shot out a beam of Cleaning magic that was as long and narrow as I could make it, then I hesitated for a moment. I could shape the magic pretty well, but into what? My friends? No, that was cheesy, even for me. A dragon? Dragons were cool, objectively, but someone else had done that already.So I settled on recreating the Beaver Cleaver in as much detail as I could, as large as I could. It wasn't all that far above, maybe five ship-lengths away or so, and it required so much focus that I had beads of sweat trickling down my forehead long before I was done, but when I finally cast, there was a big, glowing image of a ship that looked a little like the Beaver hovering like a ghost above us.My friends cheered, and I let the spell go. It took a few long seconds for the raw mana to dissipate.Calamity loaded up an arrow with some two dozen spells, donated by anyone who wanted to show off a little, then he fired it high overhead.The arrow arced up, shrinking and vanishing into the blackness of the night. My eyes lost track of it until, distantly, a point of light bloomed out of nothing, sending dozens of spells flickering every which way.The fireworks in the city only grew brighter, colours reflecting off the clouds that hung low over Southerfell.I leaned on the railing and took it in. Soon, Orange was by my feet, curling her tail around my legs even as her eyes caught the sparkling lights. Thousands of people were celebrating. Families and friends and strangers, all welcoming the new year together. The air smelled like woodsmoke and cooking food. Was Happy magic a thing?Someone pressed a warm mug into my hands. I looked over and Amaryllis nodded, trying very hard to pretend that she had not just done a nice thing. I smiled anyway."I think this year is going to be amazing," I said.Awen leaned on the railing next to me. "Awa... a-as long as we stay together, it will be."
* * *
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Three — Anchors Aweigh
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Three — Anchors Aweigh I wandered into the Captain's office early the next morning to find Amaryllis hard at work behind the desk. Maybe it should have been renamed the First Mate's office? More often than not, it was occupied by Amaryllis, after all."Morning!" I said. "Did you have breakfast?""Hmm? Oh, not yet," Amaryllis replied. "I woke up just an hour or so ago, I decided that if I was going to be awake, I might as well work on something. Be a little productive, as it were.""I can warm something up for you, if you want," I said. "There should be plenty of leftovers from last night.""I... would appreciate that, yes," Amaryllis said. She muffled a yawn behind a hand, and I stepped a little closer, curious to see what she was working on. She noticed the attention, and gestured at the papers and maps across the table. "This is the map you obtained from the local Exploration-Guild-equivalent.""The Adventurer's Guild," I said."Hmm, yes, them," Amaryllis said. "Did they seem competent to you?""Yeah, sure," I said with a shrug. "They seemed organized. If a little more hectic than the Exploration Guild? I think they have a lot more people and that their average levels are a lot lower." My friends and I were on the lower end of the spectrum when it came to the Exploration Guild, and I got the feeling that having a second class put us in the upper-medium for the Adventurer's Guild."Hmm, well, their maps are alright, I suppose. This little town, Blackwatch, is our destination. It's not all that far from here. We could make it there by mid-afternoon if we hurry.""And if we don't hurry?" I asked."Early evening, before the sun sets, at least," Amaryllis said. "Though we might want to move with some alacrity.""Why's that?" I asked."We're on a schedule, and did you forget that we've tangled with pirates already? Call me paranoid, but I can't imagine an organized group of pirates not having informants in the city. A paranoid bird keeps her tailfeathers, as they say.""They say that?" I asked.Amaryllis gave me a flat look, then gestured at the maps. "The map we have from Port Royal, which I've been updating with our movements, isn't terribly accurate when it comes to this region. For obvious reasons. The space between our... my home continent and the old one here is poorly explored, at least on our end. The desert and jungle make it hard to survey. The map you purchased-at a ridiculous markup, I might add-is actually a good find.""Thanks!" I replied. "Anything stand out?""No," she said. "It's a relatively straight path. If we move quickly, we can head out over the sea, then loop back around once out of sight of Southerfell. It'll disguise the location we're heading to. You didn't blurt out where we were going to the entire city, did you?""Ah, no? Only to a couple of people at the guild."Amaryllis rubbed her chin with a talon. "That should be fine, then."I grinned at her. "Excited to get to Blackwatch?" I asked.Amaryllis paused, then leaned back. "I suppose I am. At least, a little. I'm looking forward to putting an end to this mystery about the Black Avatars, one way or another. I just hope that we're following the right lead.""I'm sure we'll find something," I said. I went around the desk and gave Amaryllis a good-morning hug. She huffed, but it wasn't a bad sort of huff.I left Amaryllis to her work and found my way to the kitchen. By the time I was done making breakfast, most of the crew was awake and waiting for food. I sent one of the Scallywags off to deliver Amaryllis' breakfast, then went around to wake up the sleepyheads that hadn't crawled out of bed yet.Awen was the last to awaken. She stumbled out of her room, hair all mussed up and eyes extra bleary."Long night?" I asked."Aw-urgh," she replied before pressing a hand to her forehead. "I think the local wine doesn't agree with me.""You're too young to be drinking," I said.Awen gave me a confused look. "But I'm not a child."Ah, right, things were a little different on Dirt. I was pretty sure that alcohol was bad for people, regardless of anything else, but I wasn't going to make a fuss about it at this time of the morning. "Let's get some food in you, it'll make you feel better. And drink some water, you don't want to be dehydrated."This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.Once my whole crew was fed and watered, I sat back, hands on hips, feeling a bit proud of myself. Strangely, it felt like I was full up too, even if I had only snacked while cooking. Was it Captaining telling me that everyone was full? That was neat! It wasn't a very strong sense, but still, I appreciated it. The Beaver itself felt full as well, which was good.A few minutes later, we started prepping to get going. We packed up the remnants of last night's party and stowed away anything that wasn't fixed in place already. That... turned out to be quite a few things.I checked on the repairs that Awen had made. With the help from the Pyrowalkian crews we'd saved from those pirates, we had been able to find a good number of carpenters. As it turned out, ships frequently had someone aboard who could work on that kind of thing, like how we had a mechanic.Anyway, the Beaver now sported a seamless patch on one side. The only way to tell that the ship had been damaged at all was comparing the colour of the paint. Awen had dug out spare yellow paint for the new boards, but the color was off since everything else was sunbleached.Oh well! Scars added character! And if they got too bad, maybe we could re-repaint the Beaver? Oh! Winter colours?Would it be tacky to repaint the ship every season?I decided to keep that idea on the back burner for the moment. I was afraid of what Amaryllis might say if I shared the idea with her. She'd rant about the cost of things. And if Caprica found out, she'd have us painting the Beaver in Bastion's colours.Shaking my head, I took the helm about an hour later. We had secured permission to leave from the city's air traffic control, though I suspected that the flight plan that Amaryllis had submitted was a little... inaccurate."Alright! Weigh anchor! Gravity engine to idle. Scallywags, check the sails. Ah, Clive, what's the wind like up there?"Clive, standing next to me with his pipe in his beak, hummed. He looked up to the cloudless sky. "Headin' southwards," he said. "Not too strong. We can push through."I nodded, trusting in Clive's gut, and his experience, and probably in a few of his piloting skills as well."We'll be flying into the wind a little, then. Tuck those sails in tight! We're going to be burning a bit more fuel than usual to get going."Surprisingly, Awen joined me on the rearmost deck. She came over and sat on one of the railings, attention going to the fore of the ship, then back to me, at least until Orange showed up, hopped onto her lap, and demanded scritches. "Ah, um, the fuel we bought here has a different smell than what I'm used to. I couldn't get a straight answer from anyone in the refueling team, but I think it's a different mixture than what we usually use.""Is that bad?" I asked.She shook her head. "No? Not too bad. The Beaver's engine has a wide range of acceptable fuels. But it might burn differently, so the ship might drink up more, or less, and the amount of power will be different. Go slow at first? I'll listen for any knocking.""Okay!" I said. I wasn't entirely sure, but I figured Awen knew best. Maybe it was like putting gasoline in a diesel engine? Wasn't that really bad? Well, Awen was the professional, so I'd put my trust in her. Plus our fuel bunkers weren't empty, so the new stuff might mix with the fuel we'd bought previously. Would that be better or worse?The engine started up just fine, and I gave it a bit of gas by pushing the throttle up. I noticed Awen's head tilting to one side as she listened for the engine. My Captaining skill didn't warn me of anything, though."Seems alright," she said. "Don't go all out.""Okay," I replied.With the anchor raised and tucked away, everything on the deck stowed, and the crew at the ready, I throttled up our engine, and we slowly, carefully, started to rise.Southerfell had been an interesting place to visit, but maybe it would have been more fun to spend a few days there? Really get to know the city. Oh well! There were hundreds of cities to visit, and only so many days to visit them in.Next time!
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Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Four — Doesn't Look Like Much
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Four — Doesn't Look Like Much It was a bit past noon when Sally the Scallywag called out from across the deck. "Land ho!""We're flying over land, you blockhead!" Joe shouted back."You know what I meant, and you're the blockhead for not catching onto my context clues... squarehead!" Sally sniped back.I held back a giggle, because while it was funny, and I didn't sense that they were actually upset with each other, it was hard to insult someone without sounding kinda mean. "What did you spot?" I asked Sally as I left the wheel and started across the deck.Sally grinned, making sure to show off some of her smugness to Joe who was cording some rope nearby before she turned and pointed down and gestured with a spyglass. "There's a town up ahead, Captain Bunch!" she said. "Small one, looks like it might be what we're searching for."I reached the rails next to the starboard figurehead and leaned out and over the void. Squinting, I could make out what Sally had seen. We were soaring along the coast (so really, Joe was only partly right) and this part of the coastline was mostly straight except for a few natural beaches and large cliff faces that jutted out over the sea. There was a town up ahead. It was right there, along the coast, small and unobtrusive.The town wasn't much to see, even when Sally passed me the spyglass. I could only make out maybe a dozen faint trails of smoke and only the barest signs that there were any buildings."Nice catch," I told Sally. "Keep an eye on it, just in case. Joe, want to go around and alert the crew? Let Amaryllis know first, and maybe the rest of the away team?"That was the main group of my friends who tended to be the ones to jump into trouble when the need arose. Or just because it seemed fun.I got back to the helm. It probably wasn't wise to leave it unbunned for too long. There was a lock on the wheel, but having someone there was still the best move, even if the weather was pretty nice. The warm air around here contrasted nicely with the cooler winds at our altitude, though I could have used a bit less humidity. It was making my ears fluff up something fierce.We had lunch while the town slowly grew closer. Calamity and Desiree came out with bowls filled with reheated leftovers and we chowed down on lentils and stew while moving ahead at a good clip.When the town became a little more visible, and after I confirmed with Amaryllis that this was probably Blackwatch according to the maps we had, I cut down on the throttle and eased off on the gravity engine, slowly bringing the Beaver lower and slowing us down a fair bit.Steve picked up a set of semaphore flags took a position at the starboard bow, ready to signal to the town that we were going to land. It was pretty clear as we approached that they didn't have much air traffic here. The closest they had to a landing zone for airships was an empty field not far from the edge of town.It was that, or we tried to hook onto the town's little belltower, and I was worried that it wouldn't like an encounter with the Beaver's mass, so I brought us around and settled over the field. At least it didn't look like it was being used for anything at the moment.Maybe it was a grazing field being left fallow? The grass there looked like it was almost hip-high.We dropped anchor, and then reeled them in even as the ship was lowered until our keel was hovering just over the tallest grass. Then we dropped two more, smaller, anchors for stability. We'd stake those down later."Looks like some of the locals are eyeing us up," Calamity said.I covered my eyes and squinted, and yeah, there were some folk off by the edge of the field. A few farmers, it looked like. They had pitchforks and straw hats and looked like they weren't sure what to think of us."Hmm, maybe I should go say hi, before the whole crew hops off?" I said.I didn't want to come out and just say it, but I'd felt like maybe the people of Southerfell weren't as... cosmopolitan... about different species as we'd gotten used to. Having all of my friends jump out of the Beaver might worry the locals.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.So, I asked Awen and Calamity to accompany me over, while Amaryllis, Desiree, Caprica, and Bastion prepped for a short mission away from the ship.We tossed a rope ladder off the side, then hustled down to the ground, landing in the grass and the slightly muddy earth beneath. "Nice place," Calamity said."Really?" Awen asked.It was always kind of jarring, going from the Beaver to ground level. I went from being able to see leagues away, to being able to see across the field and not much else. I shook that feeling off. "It's probably for farm animals to graze," I said."Probably full of ticks," Calamity said.I wrinkled my nose at that. Would Cleaning magic work on those?"Hello!" I called out with a wave towards the nearest farmers. They were still staying on their side of the fence, but at least most of the pitchforks had been spun around, tines poking into the earth instead of pointing at us. My friends and I waded across the long grass. I might have been able to hop past it all, but I didn't want to spook anyone.One of the farmers raised a hand in greeting. "Hello?" he replied.I grinned. Contact! That was as good as shaking hands sometimes. "Sorry for bothering everyone," I said as I came closer. "Who does this field belong to? I wasn't able to ask for permission from the air, but it's better late than never, right? We can afford to rent the field for a while, it that's what it takes."The farmers looked between each other, then one of them, a shorter, older fellow, was pushed forwards. "Well, missy, this here's grazing land, mostly. No one really owns it, though we use it for a few things.""When we set out sheep to sell 'em, this is where we hold them," another one said."Oh! Well, that's nice. Maybe I can make a donation to the town, then?" I asked. "Just something to say 'thank you' and to keep any hard feelings at bay?"The farmer rubbed his nose. "I suppose that'd be fair? What're a buncha city folk doing here?" I couldn't help but notice the looks they were giving Calamity and my ears. They definitely found us a little weird. But that was okay! They might find us weird, but at least they didn't seem hostile."We're from a little further out than Southerfell," I said with what I hoped was a nice smile. "We're mostly chasing rumours! Actually, we were hoping to find something here? Or maybe someone to help us?""Rumours?" the old farmer asked. He traded a look with his friends. "About the dungeon?""No? But it might have something to do with that," I said. "We're Explorers. Um, we're looking for anything connected to the Black Avatars!"The men all shifted, and I knew I'd struck something. Maybe a nerve, or maybe paydirt. It was hard to tell. "Don't know much about that," the old man said. "This is Blackwatch, the name's probably just a coincidence.""It is?" I asked. "Darn. We heard a story that there used to be a big fortress around here, but one day it up and left.""Buildings don't just take off and fly, young missy," he said.I stared at him. Then I slowly turned to glance at the building-sized ship parked behind me. "Um, I mean, I guess they don't, most of the time?""Maybe you ought to talk to the village head," he said. "He'd know more about that.""Sure!" I said. "We're also really good at fixing dungeon-related problems, you know? That's kind of what the Exploration Guild does, and we have half a dozen members here. Has there been a local dungeon that's been acting up?""Only a few small breakout-" the man was cut off when a second farmer kicked him in the shin. "-I mean, nothing we can't handle. Don't need no help.""If a dungeon is releasing monsters, then it's on the edge of becoming a real problem," Calamity said. "Ny'all don't want to see something like that escalate. Especially close to your fine lil' town."I nodded along. "You'll need more than a few pitchforks to take care of something like that. And Southerfell, and reinforcements, are a ways away. We might be able to help, and we're free!"
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Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Five — Local News
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Five — Local News "To be clear, we are absolutely not free," Amaryllis said. She had her wings crossed and beak turned upwards. The fact that Amaryllis was taller than the village head probably made her all the more intimidating.We had relocated from the field the Beaver had landed in to the village head's house, right in the middle of town. Well, not so much his house as his front porch.The village head was an older gentleman, a farmer by the name of Eikon Saddleson that looked like he had spent most of his life in the fields and was now happily retired from that kind of backbreaking work. He was a bit wrinkly and his skin was suntanned, but he had greeted us with a smile, serving some very tasty and refreshing lemonade from a big porcelain jug.I had to send Calamity out to go fetch Amaryllis after a moment, though, because it was becoming clear that we would have to maybe charge a little bit for this, and Amaryllis had explicitly forbidden me from handling our money."Amaryllis," I said, crossing my own arms. "You can't just walk up to someone and say that. You have to say hello first.""Oh, I'll be polite in a moment, but first I need to undo whatever you've done," Amaryllis said to me. She turned back to the old village head, who seemed undecided between being intimidated and amused. "Forgive me. But our fine captain here has a habit of letting her emotions and feelings get in the way of good business sense. If I left it up to her, we'd be walking all over in our underthings because she'd give all the rest away.""I'm not that bad."Amaryllis pursed her beak. "See," she said. "I'm Amaryllis Albatross. First mate aboard the Port Royal registered Exploration Guild vessel, the Beaver Cleaver. A pleasure to meet you, sir.""Oh, um, the pleasure's all mine, young miss," he said. "Never seen your like before. Would I be mistaken in guessing that you're a harpy folk?""I am, yes," Amaryllis replied tersely. "Now, what has Broccoli said?"The village head chuckled. "Nothing too bad, don't worry your... feathered... pretty... head? Hm. Ah, but where was I... yes, the dungeon. I've been keeping the news mostly to myself, but it has been worrying me.""And why is that?" Amaryllis asked."Maybe I ought to start from the beginning, eh?" the village head said. He gestured to Amaryllis. "Sit, sit. There's juice! We have a nice vineyard here for citrus, makes an excellent lemonade. Do you have that, up in your harpy mountains?""No," Amaryllis said. "It's likely too cold for citrus trees to grow. In any case, before we can move on to business, I'd like to know more about the situation at talon. What kind of dungeon are we dealing with here; what's the issue with it?"The village head rubbed at his chin for a moment before speaking. "Well, if you're gonna help... About six, maybe seven years ago, a dungeon popped up in the old Black Crater.""The Black Crater?" I repeated.He nodded along. "Oh yes. There's a large crater, just a ways out of town, towards the shore. I suppose I'll show it to you in a few. In any case, the crater's always been a curious place.""I think it's why we're here," I said. "We're looking for the Black Avatars.""Ah," he said. "You wouldn't be the first to come asking... hmm, most of the time, I send folks off, like the last headman used to. It's all a little before my time, in any case. But I suppose if you help, a few stories might do as payment?""We'll see about that," Amaryllis said. "And we're going off-topic. The crater, the dungeon, what happened?""Heh. Young ones, so impatient. Well, some six, seven years back, a few of the children were out causing a ruckus, and discovered that there was an entrance at the bottom of the crater. Some of them went in, and came out quite spooked. They said that they encountered some knights in there.""Knights?" I asked."Mhm! Big men, in shiny armour. Now, we looked into it, of course, and discovered a little dungeon had appeared. A blessing from the World. We didn't make too much of a fuss about it, of course. Didn't need people from the city trampling all over our fields and getting up in our business. A few of us tried to clear it, ah, but when we lost a few boys to the dungeon, we called it off-limits."Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site."And there haven't been issues since?" Amaryllis asked."Oh, a few? Sometimes a rumour spreads around, that there are knights patrolling the crater, but I've never seen them with my own two eyes. Mostly, it's far enough from town that I always thought that leaving it well enough alone would keep it calm.""I suppose," Amaryllis muttered. "But I take it that that has changed?""Just recently, yes," he said.I perked up. "Have you noticed any weird roots around?""Roots?""Like, from a tree or something, only way, way bigger," I said. I waved my arms around, to help with visualization. "We've been encountering some like that at different dungeons, often just before they start acting weird. It's a problem.""Hoh, no, I can't say I've noticed anything like that. Right now, the dungeon's just a little annoyed, I think?"I blinked. Dungeons could be annoyed? "How is it being annoyed?" I asked."Well, I don't know. You'd be the experts. You don't ask a blacksmith how to mend a dress, do you?" He shrugged a bit, thin shoulders shifting beneath his shirt. "It's more that I feel like it's feeling that way.""Are monsters... regularly leaving the dungeon?" Amaryllis asked."Yup. A few knights are almost always patrolling the crater now.""Interesting," I said. "What kind of class does the dungeon give? Or does no one know?""Dunno, sorry, missy.""That's okay, I guess we'll find out for ourselves."Amaryllis huffed. "Sure. And lose a day or two in the finding. Though I can't say that it's all bad. A fresh dungeon might be a good way to sharpen our talons. But it's not what we're here for. We're looking for information. It's why we stopped by Blackwatch in the first place."I clapped. "Right! Do you know anything about the Black Avatars?""Hm, I might know a thing or two," the village head said. "Mostly stories. They left here when I was just a lad, you see.""So you knew them!""Well, maybe," he said with a dismissive little wave. He shifted forward in his seat and poured himself another cup of juice. "If you're willing to help with our dungeon, even just going down and seeing if anything's wrong, then I'm sure that'll help jog my old memory a little.""Tsk," Amaryllis muttered. "Our expertise isn't that cheap.""I thought as much, but I don't know what a little village like ours can offer you, Miss Adventurer. The lot of you I've seen so far have more gold in equipment on your backs than we make in a year."I glanced to my friends, and... hmm, he might have had a point? Amaryllis was dressed in fine exploration clothes, I had armour on, Awen had her nice coat and lots of tools, and Calamity had that fancy bow on his back. We'd been picking up things here and there, and when we bought clothes, it was stuff that was meant to last a while, and we tended to buy from nicer shops in the bigger cities.Compared to the locals, who seemed to go around in wool clothes probably made right here, mostly dyed in the same colours and sewn up in simple patterns... yeah, we probably did look a little bit rich. And we hadn't even brought out Caprica and Bastion."He has a point," I said to Amaryllis."They could at least off to help a little," Amaryllis said. "Food and board for a few days couldn't hurt, could it?""I suppose," the old man said. "If you don't mind mutton and the local herbs and what we grow in our gardens year round?""Of course not!" I said. "Homecooked food sounds tasty!""Hm! Well, I'll send some boys down to the shore to fish something up as well. As for board, we have a few barns that aren't full up that we could let you sleep in. Maybe a few spare rooms?""We'll be fine for board," Amaryllis said quickly. I think she'd rather sleep in the Beaver than on a heap of old hay. "Now, where is this Black Crater of yours, exactly?""Ah, well, follow me, then! It's not too far that I can't escort you over for a quick look-see."
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Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Six — No Redshirts Allowed
Chapter Five Hundred and Sixty-Six — No Redshirts Allowed "So... that Black Crater has to be the foundation for the Black Fortress thing, right?" I asked as we were walking back to the Beaver."Ah, no?" Awen said. "It can't be.""It can't?" I asked."Professor Celiga said that the fortress was on an island, right? This... is a plateau?"I looked around and, yeah, okay, we weren't on anything resembling an island. "But the Black Crater is nearby! It could be on an island?""I didn't notice any islands on our approach," Amaryllis said. "Though there could be. There is a cove, just to the southwest of here that we didn't fly over. There could be an island there... a small one, admittedly, but it could exist.""Then that's where we should explore next. Once we're done fixing up this dungeon." I bobbed my head in a nod. That seemed like a great plan to me."I suppose," Amaryllis said. "Perhaps helping this backwater will earn us enough goodwill that they'll be willing to help.""Don't call them that," I chided. "It's rude... probably? Anyway! Are we just going to scout the dungeon out, or should we all head over, prepared to tackle it all at once?" I asked.It was a couple of hours past noon. Usually that wouldn't be too bad, but the sun set early this time of year, so we only had a couple more hours of sunlight before we'd be working in the dark."If we're going to do things, I'd like to do them quickly. Lingering around here is making my feathers itch."I wouldn't want to be the cause for itchy feathers, so maybe it would be best to head out as equipped as we could be. "I'll ask and see who wants to come. We should bring supplies for a day or two, just in case it's a tricky dungeon. And it might not be a bad idea to have some friends waiting for us outside of the dungeon, in case something goes wrong.""So, two teams?" Amaryllis asked. "I suppose that's not a terrible idea. Redundancy may well help. I'll be on the main exploratory team, of course.""Of course," I said."Ah... the monsters are knights, so it's probably a knight class ... that doesn't really interest me." Awen said. "Um, I think I'll stay out?"We talked about who should or shouldn't come until we made it back to the Beaver. There, I had the entire crew gather up for a few quick announcements. "Okay everyone!" I said. "We're going to help this town with a little problem they have with a local dungeon. It's probably a knight-themed one, and it might hold a few clues about the Black Avatars. We're going to form three teams. One group will stay on the Beaver to keep him safe. A second will camp out near the dungeon, in case of trouble, and a third will go in, to clear the dungeon out and see what's making it act up.""I wouldn't mind a spot of camping," Calamity said. 'Who's with me?"Surprisingly, all three of the Scallywags raised their hands. "You three?" I asked."Sure," Sally said with a shrug. "Never spent too much time out of the city. Might learn a thing or two. And the Beaver's nice, but some fresh air can't hurt.""Yeah. Need to stretch my legs a little," Joe added. Oda shrugged next to him, and it looked like he was just along for the ride."Okay," I said. "So, who's staying at the Beaver then?""I will," Awen said.She wasn't alone. None of the harpy crew wanted to leave, really, and I didn't blame them. The ship would probably be a lot comfier."Okay, that leaves... me, Amaryllis, Desiree, Caprica and Bastion for the dungeon team?"That was a nice mix!"That sounds correct," Bastion said. "For a simpler, already-explored dungeon, I'd think that this would make a fine team. Though I'm worried that this isn't simple, or well-explored. We'll be venturing into the unknown, with no idea of the level of threat we'll be facing.""As long as you're there, I'm sure we'll all be safe," Caprica said."Overestimating oneself has been the death of several paladins," Bastion warned. "But yes. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, princess. As long as you finish penning that letter."This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.Caprica pouted very strongly, but it did nothing to hide the bit of red on her cheeks."We should be ready for anything, then," Amaryllis said. "That means packing food, supplies, probably ropes, any potions and first-aid materials we can stuff in a bag, spare weapons, armour... c'mon, let's get going. We might not have all day here, and the sunlight's burning."She was probably right! I rushed out to my room and started packing. I had a go-bag of sorts (it was really just the backpack I'd worn around while adventuring and which I never really unpacked fully) and some extra bits of armour that I hadn't been wearing for comfort's sake.I geared up, then hesitated. I had two weapons hanging on the wall of my room. My trusty old spade, with me for a long while and fantastic at bonking, and next to it Weedbane, my unfolding warscythe.The only information I had on the monsters of this dungeon were that they looked like knights. Were knights weaker to scythes or shovels?I decided on Weedbane. It was a bit harder to use, but it could stab well. That sounded like it would help punch through steel plate, or whatever the knights were wearing.After checking the fittings on my armour to make sure everything was snug (had I grown a little? Some of them were a bit tight. I'd gotten my armour... a couple of months ago, so I couldn't have grown too much since then, right? Did I gain a bit of weight? A pinch at my tummy suggested that no. Weird) I checked myself in the mirror, then looked at my collection of hats for a moment before picking up my old turtle helm and tugging it on.New Skill Acquired: TurtlingRank: ENice! I felt more prepared already. I checked my shoelaces to make sure they were nice and snug, tucked my blouse properly into the hem of my skirt, then lugged on my backpack and made sure it was on snug."Ready!" I called out as I left my quarters.I almost bumped into Desiree who was looking more or less ready too. She was in that tunic we'd bought her, and pants, with only a small borrowed backpack over her cloak. "I suppose I'm ready as well," she said with a swish of her tails."Hmm," I said. We really needed to stop by a city and get Desiree better adventuring gear. The clothes she had on looked nice and tough, and they looked like quality, but it wasn't armour.Not that I wanted to see all of my friends in full plate, that would make hugs really clangy, but it would make me feel a bit better."We should see about getting you some proper explorer's gear," I said. "Did you want a hat? I have a few to spare?"Desiree smiled. "I'll be fine. I'm a caster, not one of those fancy melee-fighters.""Yeah, but sometimes you don't get an option with that kind of thing, and I'm not just worried about like... punchy opponents. Sometimes we might have to crawl around, and then what'll happen to your knees? And what if you bump your head on an outcropping!"I wasn't going to try to introduce workplace safety to the Exploration Guild. The old-timers like Abraham would throw a fit if I did. That didn't mean that I wanted my friends to be unsafe!We quickly raided the kitchen to grab some stuff from the pantry. There was some bread that was going a bit hard that I stuffed into my pack, and a few other little things that would keep. I made sure to fill two jugs with some water as well. I could always Clean water for drinking, but that didn't mean that we'd find water to drink.Desiree and I climbed onto the top deck of the Beaver and found my friends decked out and ready to go. The Scallywags had some tarp, and a few planks with them. When I looked at the stuff, Oda stepped up and explained. "We're going to build a tent," he said."Oh, okay?" That looked like enough stuff to build a small hut, but I was never one for camping so what did I know? "Alright! Is everyone ready, then? Let's go! We've got a dungeon to delve and a town to save and Avatars to find!"
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