Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Walking Songs
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Eight — Walking Songs We had to usher the last bun off the Beaver Cleaver. It was really hard, because they really didn’t want to leave. The whole lot of them had only grown more and more excited as they bounced around the inside of the ship.I thought that maybe Clive wouldn’t like having so many little people on the ship, but somehow he gathered a bunch of the littler ones in a big pile before him and started telling these great stories about strange places and weird peoples that he’d met while travelling.I won’t say that I was envious of the kids listening to his stories, but I did kind of want to join them. They certainly seemed to enjoy it, every ear that could perked up and listening.“Alright,” I said as I helped the last little one down the ladder. We’d lowered the Beaver until his keel was just brushing the grass, just in case a bun went over the edge. It also meant that the ladder wasn’t as much of a climb. “That’s the last of them,” I cheered.Amaryllis had her feathers poking out every which way, and Awen looks just as bedraggled. Even Bastion looked a bit mussed up.“Wow,” I said. “You’re all really bad with kids.”“They kept pulling my feathers!” Amaryllis shrieked.A few of the little buns still nearby squeaked and bounced off.“They found them pretty,” I said. “Which they are.”“Don’t try to flatter your way out of this,” she said while brushing her talons through her feathers. “You’re too dumb to get away with it.”Her reply was met with laughter, but not from me. I turned to find Momma wading through a sea of little buns. There had to be forty or fifty that had come aboard the Beaver to bounce around our decks and ooh and ahh at everything while annoying the scallywags and the rest of the crew.“When I said you’d make an impression,” Momma said. “Even I didn’t think it would be this big. Thank you for giving the little ones a tour.”“My pleasure,” I said. “They were really well-behaved.”“That’s good to hear,” Momma said. She glanced over my friends, then back to me. “We’re about to leave. If you want to come with us, now’s the time.”I nodded. “I’d love to. We have all of our stuff ready. Uh, should we follow you?”“You can,” Momma said. “I still have to inform a few people that we’ll be gone for a spell. Do you want to meet by the north gate?”I bobbed my head up and down. “Sure thing!” I said. She rubbed my head, the same way she pat the little ones as she moved past them.I watched her move off, then skipped over to my backpack and spear, both left a little ways under the Beaver. Amaryllis picked up her own pack, and Awen put on her heavy coat and slung her crossbow over one shoulder and a satchel over the other. Bastion had the smallest pack. A small purse-sized thing strapped low on his back and out of the way of his wings.“I think this might be a lot of fun,” I said as I started heading north. I waved to all the little ones we crossed, and they waved and cheered us on.“I’m already exhausted,” Amaryllis said.“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad!” I said. “It’s an adventure.”“I’ve been on adventures with you.”“And you’re still alive and just as grumpy as when we first met,” I said.Amaryllis huffed most mightily.We found Momma where she said she’d be. With her were three other buns. The huge one we’d met when we arrived at Hospalot, though now instead of simple clothes and a big apron, he was in full plate armour, with a shield planted by his side that had to weigh as much as three Broccolis. He had a hammer sitting on the ground next to him, with a long haft and a head that looked a bit like the bottom of one of those two-liter soda bottles, but meaner.Next to him was a small bun woman in a thick bundle of cloth with a cascade of red hair pouring out of a leather cap. Her gambeson, all brown and padded, made her look like a marshmallow with two ears sticking out the top. She had a pair of big gauntlets on, and bigger boots with metal studs on them.And finally there was a small bun man, in a much thinner gambeson with knives strapped to his hips and a big black cloak over everything.Momma had changed out of her summer dress at some point, and now wore half-plate over her chest and a ringed skirt with chainmail here and there. She only had a knife by her side, and it looked more utilitarian than a weapon. Her helmet only hid half her face, and made her look like some sort of long-toothed monster with a big mane.“Are you all ready to set out?” she asked as she lifted a pack over her shoulder with a casual swing.I was starting to get what Bastion meant about her being on the stronger side.“Yup,” I said. “Is this everyone?”“It is,” Momma said.I bowed a bit to our new friends, then grinned at the lot of them until my cheeks hurt. “Hi, I’m Broccoli Bunch, I’ll be in your care today. I hope that I learn lots and that we become great friends.”Buster HopsyDesired Quality: Someone who looks up to himDream: To never see a friend be hurtThat was for the big guy in the plate armour.Carrot LopsyDesired Quality: Someone funDream: To fill Hopsalot with little bunsThat was the red-headed bun, who grinned right back at me.Peter FlopsyDesired Quality: Someone quiet and understandingDream: To retire peacefully, and away from all the noisy people he likesAnd that was the rogue-looking one. He seemed nice, but I had the impression it would be hard to make friends with him.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.Momma introduced everyone by name, and my friends did the same. And then, just like that, we were off.The area surrounding Hopsalot was pretty much cleared of any woods. A lot of open space, with little rocks jutting out of the ground here and there, and spaces that were covered in lush grass and little fenced-off patches where unfamiliar plants were growing in neat rows.We passed a couple of farmers with big floppy sun hats on our way to the woods. Momma waved at them, and they would wave back, or call out for us to have some good luck on our adventures.When we grew closer to the woods, Buster cleared his throat and started to hum a low, droning tune.“Off to the woods and off to playI went off to hike and find some funI danced in the sun and rain all dayOff to the woods and on, my sonI bounced with a bonny with bright blue eyesAnd I scuffed my knees on my own prideIn the morrow she came with a surpriseI found myself with both hands tiedOh, off to the mill and off to funBecause my blue-eyed bonny was fat with sons”Buster and Carrot and even Momma sang the last line together. Carrot, as it turned out, couldn’t carry a tune. At all. She was downright awful, but it was really encouraging because she was so enthusiastic about it. It didn’t help that the song had a strange tune to it.“That was great,” I said.Momma chuckled. “Do you know any walking songs?” she asked.I shook my head. “Nope, but I wouldn’t mind learning!”“The winter songs are nicer,” Peter said.“It’s not the right season for that,” Carrot chirped. “Not yet, at least.”“I wouldn’t mind hearing it anyway,” I said.Peter nodded, then started in a really pretty, lilting voice.“Walk, this path through the sleet and rainSnow, the sky sends for our headsGrit the will to bear all the strainDrive a-way the fear and dreadCold, the dark of the win-try nightBuns, the lead-ers char-ging boldWarm-ing hearts to set them a-lightPush-ing on and we for-e-ver hold”Without really even realizing it, I found myself stepping in time with the others, the clangs and bangs of Buster’s armour playing the drums to which Peter set his tune.When he repeated the whole thing over from the start, I found myself humming as the other buns joined in with their own voices.“Awa, I... I know a walking song,” Awen said. By then we were a good few minutes into the forest, the trees clawing up at the sky around us, and masking the sun in layers of shifting green leaves.“Really?” I asked. The only songs I knew were ear-worms, and I didn’t want to ruin this world by introducing “Barbie Girl” to it.Awen coughed a few times, then took a deep breath. Her cheeks were already a little rosey from the attention, but she seemed intent on singing anyway.Mattergrove girls ain't got no worriesWhen they see a boy they spread their kneesAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsSo crank away, me rough and tumble boysCrank away, crank awayHeave her up and don't let her make a noiseAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsMattergrove kids ain't got no clothesHow they stay warm, ain’t no one knowsAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsSo crank away, me rough and tumble boysCrank away, crank awayMattergrove birds ain't got no tailsThey chopped them off with a dragon’s scalesHeave her up and don't let her make a noiseAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsMattergrove girls ain't got no bottomsThey fill their skirts with packed up cottonAnd we're bound for the SnowlandsSo crank away, me rough and tumble boysCrank away, crank awayHeave her up and don't let her make a noiseAnd we're bound for the Snowlands!”I clapped when Awen finished, and she rewarded me with a huge grin. Carrot and Buster clapped too, the redhead while giggling quite maniacally. Awen’s singing voice, as it turned out, was very pretty. Clear and almost angelic. She must have practiced a whole lot.“Where on Dirt did you learn that song?” Amaryllis asked. She didn’t sound nearly as enthusiastic as I did.“Um. My uncle taught it to me,” Awen said. “He used to sing it all the time when working on the Shady Lady.” Her smile turned a little wistful. “He used to laugh a lot when I sang along. And he told me never to sing it with my mom around.”“Of course he did,” Amaryllis said. “That scoundrel.”“What’s wrong with the song?” Awen asked. “Did I sing it wrong? I think I remember all the lyrics right.”“I’m not doubting your memory,” Amaryllis said. “I’m doubting your common sense.”“Huh?” Awen asked.I was a bit lost too.“Nevermind,” Amaryllis said. “Here, listen to this one.” She took a deep breath, then started to chirp and whistle.I was expecting lyrics, but none came, just more whistles and the occasional squawk.Carrot was the first to let out a snort. Then I started to giggle too. Soon, Momma and Buster and Awen were laughing too, and Amaryllis cut herself off mid-whistle with a discordant toot.That made me laugh even harder.“That’s right, mock centuries of harpy culture, why don’t you?” Amaryllis grumbled.Our walk continued, filled with songs and laughter, and sometimes the occasional bit of whistling.This was what I had always envisioned when I thought of adventure, and I was glad to be part of it, even when the others told me that I was pants at carrying a tune.
* * *
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Super Smash Bunnies Melee
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty-Nine — Super Smash Bunnies Melee With songs to give a spring to our step and ward away the boredom, our trip through the forest passed with surprising speed. Momma had brought sandwiches, proving that she really deserved her name. We ate those while walking a little slower, then continued on our path heading north-ish.A few hours passed, and while I was definitely feeling the burn in my legs, and I was glad that I wasn’t the one singing, I still felt pretty good when we finally arrived on the edges of the ruins.“Here,” Peter said as he bounced ahead, then knelt next to a stack of squarish stones. “This is the edge. Enemies from here on out.”“No more singing then,” I said.“No, that’s fine. They’re almost entirely deaf,” Peter said. “Have you all fought the undead before?”I nodded, but my friends couldn’t say the same. “Perhaps you could tell us a little bit about them,” Bastion said.Buster hummed. “Depends on which sort you’re fighting. The ghosts here are easy to dispatch. Hardly worth the effort. The wraiths are a little more dangerous.”“Those sorts can hear you,” Carrot said. “But not that well. They’re pretty weak. A kid could rekill them.”“Rekill?” I repeated.“Well, they’re already dead, aren’t they?”That was fair.“The skeletons are the ones to watch out for,” Peter said. “They’re surprisingly quiet, blend into the foliage, and can move fairly quickly. They tend to hover around levels ten to twelve.”I nodded. A tiny bit stronger than me and most of my friends. “Any weaknesses?” I asked. “I know that Cleaning magic does a number on them.”“Cleaning...?” Buster raised an eyebrow. “Holy magic will take them out instantly. Otherwise, they’re difficult to take out with pure magic. They don’t have flesh to burn, blood to freeze, or a heart to pierce. Blunt force works best.”I shifted my grip on my warspade, and Awen hung onto her hammer with both hands while Amaryllis released her knife and shifted a little.“Our formation will have us older buns circling around you. You all seem to have a ranged option. Use that if you’re certain your blow will land. But conserve your mana and ammunition,” Momma said.I nodded and soon we were moving deeper into the ruins. There were fewer trees as we pushed ahead. Large patches of the ground had slabs of cracked stone, and the land around us evened out a lot compared to the rolling hills we had been travelling.We spread out a little, no more than a meter between all of us, but instead of the single file we had been walking in, we now formed a wedge shape, with Buster in the centre, and Carrot and Momma to the sides. Peter slunk back and I spotted him jumping from tree-to-tree.“Ahead!” he called, with no attempt at stealth despite hiding. “Six skeletons visible. They look corrupted.”Momma nodded. “Buster, first. Expect more to show up.”We broke through a bushy hedge and came across a little group of skeletons squatting down and... not doing much, really.They looked kind of human, but I couldn’t be sure, not with the way some of them were deformed. One had a leg that was fused together at the knee, some had longer arms than normal, and one’s skull looked like someone had made a perfect skull out of clay, then squished it while it was still wet.The skeletons turned towards us, and between one moment and the next, launched themselves right at us.They were fast! Moving with jittery motions and the clatter of loose bones on the stone below. I gasped as Buster stepped up and met the first of them with a downward swing of his hammer. The weapon glowed red-hot a moment before impact, and when it hit I felt the heat wash over me from two meters back.The skeleton crumbled, but the other five were closer now and didn’t seem to care. One rammed into Buster’s shield while Carrot and Momma moved up to flank the rest of them.Amaryllis fired off a bolt of zig-zagging lightning that struck one of the skeletons in the back of the group and tore off one of its arms.Momma and Carrot both hit their opponents with twisting kicks that slammed right into their bony sterums and sent them whooshing back.Feeling a bit useless, I brought my arms up and started to prepare some fireballs. But Cleaning magic was good against the undead... I pulled my mana back, twisted it into Cleaning magic, and fired off five bolts of cleaning magic that zoomed out and crashed into the skeletons.All five collapsed like bags of bones.Momma paused and looked over to me. “Cleaning magic?” she asked.“It gets good at Expert rank,” I explained.Ding! Congratulations, you have fractured the souls of three (3) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Fortress’ Level 11! Bonus Exp was granted for exorcising a monster above your level!“Oh, I didn’t get the experience for two of them,” I said.Carrot spun so fast I only caught a blur as she bounced over to the skeletons, cracking their heads with five quick hops.Ding! Congratulations, you have cracked the bones of three (2) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Fortress’ Level 11! Bonus Exp was granted for exorcising a monster above your level! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Cleaning at Expert,” Momma said. “Interesting. From now on, hit them with that as soon as you can. Keep an eye on your mana and call out at every quarter down. Amaryllis, Awen, your job is now to guard her. Bastion, watch our backs.”“Yes ma’am,” Bastion said.Peter landed ahead of us. “More of them,” he said. “More than last report, even. The dungeon’s entrance is hardly guarded though.”“Then we move towards it,” Momma said. “We can stop at a few choke points on the way and use them to keep the skeleton’s numbers down as we move.”Peter nodded. “I’ll go set some traps.” With that, he bounced so hard and fast that he left a small crater on the ground where he’d taken off from.“These skeletons are little more than chaff,” Momma said. “But it sometimes only takes one wrong move to get injured enough to compromise a team. So we’re going to do things by the book, alright?”If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.I nodded. Momma was kind of scary when she was being serious.We moved on, keeping our formation tight while looking all around. For a moment, I thought that there might not be any more skeletons after all. Then a bush exploded and I was proven quite wrong.Before I had even finished flinching, Momma intercepted the skeleton with a knee, then she punched it with a glowing fist so hard that its skull burst apart into so much dust and shrapnel.“Whoa,” I said.“Pugilism is a fine art,” Momma said as she shook out her fist. “You can never be disarmed if your arms are your weapons.”“So cool,” I said.Carrot snorted. Her ears twisted this way and that to scan our surroundings, but she did turn back to stare my way. “You’ve got some Mystic Bun stuff too, right?”I nodded. “Yep. Way of the Mystic Bun. Is that what you have?” I asked.Carrot grinned. “Something like that. Just keep training, I’m sure you’ll be real scary in a few years.”“I’m not sure if scary is what I’m aiming for,” I said.“Children, pay attention,” Momma said.We pushed through a spot covered in greenery, then broke out onto what looked like a street. Ruined buildings lined the sides, none with any roofs, but there were stone walls still standing, some with cutouts where doors and windows would have been.“The dungeon is at the end of this row, then to the right,” Buster said. He gestured ahead with the haft of his hammer, then he tensed. “More.”Everyone stopped as the skittering of bones started to sound out from all around us. I felt a chill go down my spine, then found that every breath I took felt cold, and not the fresh sort of cold that made you feel alive.Carrot smacked her fists together and her gauntlet-covered fists started to glow. “Wights.”“Huh?” I asked.Ghostly hands started to push through the walls of the nearest buildings just as an entire army of skeletons started to crawl up the ruins and even more charged down the lane. It would have been frankly terrifying if it wasn’t noon and the sun wasn’t bright and shiny overhead.I raised an arm and fired off a burst of cleaning magic at the group charging us. It hit a few of them, but only two fell down while the rest merely lost a limb or two. “Uh oh,” I said.I either needed to hit them dead-on, or I wasn’t using enough magic to get the job done.Amaryllis started to unleash her magic into the bigger groups, the explosions tearing some of the skeletons apart and when they hit the occasional ghost they would practically melt in mid-air.Awen joined in too, firing bolt after bolt into the skeletons atop the walls. Her aim was surprisingly good.Still, for all the damage we were doing, there were way too many skeletons. Momma and Carrot hopped forwards and struck almost at the same time.If I thought that Amaryllis was loud, then the two proved that she wasn’t on the same level. Each punch, charged with writhing magic, impacted the skeletons like sledgehammers and sent shockwaves through the air.Even better yet, both women were really fast. They wove and ducked between the monsters, avoiding swipes and delivering devastating kicks in return.They fought in a way that I found really familiar. Landing, hitting once or twice, then jumping away before the skeletons and wights could react. But I could tell right away that both of them were a whole league ahead of my own fumbling style. Their hits were fast and hard, and they moved with a sort of bouncy grace that I couldn’t hope to match.I refocused and opened fire with more cleaning blasts. If one or two skimmed past a friend, then that wasn’t too bad. One of the big advantages of cleaning magic in this scenario.Mana97/130“Down to, uh, seventy-five percent,” I said.“Keep it up,” Momma said. She ran up the front of a skeleton, kicked its head off, then flipped in the air and landed in a low stance that turned into a lunge to punch another skeleton in the side. She didn’t even sound winded.I took a deep breath and doubled down on the cleaning magic, more bolts joining Amaryllis’ wild bursts of lightning and Awen’s far more precise strikes. Any skeleton that slipped past Carrot and Momma was beaten down by Buster or skewered by Bastion.The flood of skeletons dropped to a trickle, then stopped outright, leaving us panting in the middle of the road. My friends and I were panting, the buns seemed totally fine, and Bastion was barely breathing hard.Ding! Congratulations, twelve (12) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Fortress’ Level 11! And four (4) ‘Spirits of Forgotten Pain’ Level 13! Picked a bone with the wrong buns! Bonus Exp was granted for exorcising a monster above your level! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!Still no level up?Momma picked a piece of bone from the plates of her gauntlet. “Is everyone alright?” she asked.I looked at my friends, who all looked fine. “I think so,” I said.Peter reappeared atop one of the stone walls. “There are a few more groups, but they’re further out. It should be clear from here to the dungeon’s entrance.”“Well then,” Momma said. “Let’s get going. It would be nice to be out before the sun sets.”I felt a bit out of place amongst the easy nonchalance of the buns at all the violence. Sure, the skeletons were dungeon monsters, so they weren’t as real as real people, sorta, but it felt a little weird not to at least try and talk to them.Amaryllis patted my back, and I smiled at her as we continued on.Soon, we were at the entrance to the dungeon.It was a castle. Old and decrepit, with sections having fallen apart. There was evidence that it had been a real fortress at one time, but that must have been long ago.The entrance was a gaping maw, a tunnel that led on into darkness.You are Entering the Newbining FortressDungeon Level 10-14Your entire party has entered the DungeonSeal Dungeon until exit?
* * *
