Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Two — Maid it Out Alive
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Two — Maid it Out Alive Maid-Butler Abomination, level 10, Angry I licked my lips, looking past the maid-thing toward the Bone Lord. He was hobbling away, making his way over to the end of the balcony with repeated clunks of his bony feet.It seemed that, if I wanted to catch up to him, I’d need to face off against his guard first.The abomination was... an abomination. It was boney and skeletal, some of its features partially covered by a poofy black dress with torn white lace. Its arms ended in a pair of boney scythes, and its head was twisted to look a bit like a cat’s, with bony ears and all. Coiling vines clung to it from the inside and poked through its dress.It was quite spooky looking.“Hi there,” I said. “Would you mind terribly if I ran past you?”The abomination lunged at me, one scythe arm swinging.I barely had time to duck backwards and stumble out of the path of its swing, and that was only because its arm was tangled up in nasty looking vines. “Hey!” I shouted.The monster swung with its other arm, but this time I was expecting it and launched myself up and over the swing.While in the air, I brought my spade around and met another scythe mid-swing with a heavy bonk of metal on bone.My attempt to jump away was foiled as the abomination continued to move towards me, cutting off my escape.I saw it raising its arms to slice down at me, and brought my spade up as a horizontal bar to meet the bony spikes. They smacked the haft, and soon I found myself being pushed down onto one knee while I grunted and tried to keep the mantis monster from bearing down on me.I was in a bit of a bind, but I did have one way out.Shifting so that most of my weight was on my one knee, I kicked out with my foot and smacked the Abomination in the shin while launching a burst of Cleaning magic at it.The leg creaked at the first kick, then snapped with the second.The monster tipped over, and I helped it along by rising up and shoving it to the side. The moment it crashed down, I made a fist and wrapped it in Cleaning magic to smack it with.The monster reeled, legs scrambling as it tried to stand.A second burst of Cleaning magic, then a third, finally knocked it down completely.“I’m sorry!” I apologized as I swung my spade up and then brought it back down to bonk the monster on the head.It died a very unceremonious re-death.I shoved the notification to the side, then started running after the Bone Lord.A glance below, and I saw my friends still fighting on. Bastion was taking out most of them all on his own, but I noticed him letting some of the skeletons pass towards where Amaryllis and Awen were working together to smack them down.Was he letting them practice their teamwork on purpose?They... probably needed the help. Amaryllis had a tendency to expect others to move in the way that she thought was best, and Awen froze up often, especially when someone else was in her bubble. She was more concerned with not hurting a friend than making sure the monsters trying to eat her were no longer a threat.Bastion really was a good friend, I decided. I would give him hugs and thank him, but that was for later.Speeding along with little hops to help me move faster, I tried to catch up with the Bone Lord.The skeleton was at the end of the row. He had paused before a shelf of old books, and was looking over them with a hand tucked under his chin.“Hey!” I called out as I flung a ball of Cleaning magic out ahead of me. I still had enough magic that one or two missed strikes wouldn’t be too bad.The Bone Lord picked a book off the shelf, then smacked the Clean ball away with it.“Dang it,” I muttered as I started running again. I held my spade with both hands and brought it up to deliver a big swing. The Bone Lord moved fast. He opened the book, touched the page, then let it drop and pointed his hand towards me.As ten meters became five, then two, I was able to make out the words in the book. They were big and bold, taking up half of a page, or else I would have missed them.‘Greater Explosion.’I squeaked and threw myself to the side. I intended to roll, then get back up and smack the Bone Lord.The explosion behind me ruined that plan.I grunted as I was sent flying across the walkway. My tail bumped the ground and I rolled to bleed off some momentum. Bits of burning books and wooden shrapnel landed around me. I blinked and tried to hear anything past the high-pitched whistling of... something.The Bone Lord had been flung back a bit too, but he was pushing himself out of the pile of debris he’d landed in.Being undead probably meant that he didn’t have to worry about bruises as much.My foot found some purchase, and I climbed to my feet. My spade was... somewhere, I’d lost it in the tumble. That didn’t matter.I ran at the Bone Lord, and he looked up, expressionless face twitching back as I cut the distance between us to nothing and slapped my hand over his skull. “Sorry!” I screamed my home nation’s battle cry as I let loose a surge of Cleaning magic.The air around us stilled as the dust was washed away.I paused, panting hard, breathing in the faintly fiery scent of burning books. My hand loosened its grip a little and the Bone Lord’s skull fell, soon followed by the rest of the body.The bones started to break apart into so much dust, just like dungeon creatures usually did. The jacket stayed though. A drop?Ding! Congratulations, you have Laid to Rest three (3) ‘Skeletal Guards of Newbining Library’ Level 10! A Skeletal Limpet, Level 9! A Maid-Butler Abomination, level 10. And The Herald of Newbining, Bone Lord, level 12! Bonus Exp was gained for defeating enemies above your level!“Pheew,” I said as I tipped my turtle hat back and wiped a hand across my forehead. That had been exciting.Moving over to the side of the balcony, I found my friends looking around themselves while a whole lot of skeletons turned to dust around them.I tucked my loot under an arm, then found my Warspade. I was just about to jump down when I got another message.Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Cinnamon Bun class has reached level 11!Stamina +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Oh, ni-”Bing Bong! Congratulations, your Wonderlander class has reached level 3!Mana +5Flexibility +5You have gained: One Class Point“Double nice!” I cheered. “Hey! I levelled up!” I called down. “And we got loot!”Amaryllis looked up, then shook her head. “You moron. Get down here. It’s too soon for celebrating,” she said. But she sounded pretty happy.“Oh wow, you levelled up too?”The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.“I didn’t say that!” she said.“Congratulations!” I said as I hopped down and landed with a crouch one floor down. I shook myself a bit, then grinned at my friends. “What about you, Awen? Bastion?”The sylph shook his head. “Nothing for me, I’m afraid,” he said. That was too bad, he seemed to have taken out the most monsters.“Awa, I went up a level,” Awen said. “You too?”“I got two!” I cheered.Amaryllis huffed. It was a strange huff, part ‘I’m happy for you’ and part ‘I’m a bit envious.’ I pulled her into a hug to remind her that I liked her a lot and that she didn’t need to be envious. “Why are you hugging me, idiot!”“‘Cause I love you lots,” I said. Then I hugged Awen and Bastion for good measure. “So, why’d I get more levels?” I asked.“Ah,” Awen said. “I didn’t use Glass magic. And I don’t think Amaryllis used any Puppeteering skills.”“And you’ve been using that weird second class of yours a lot. It’s natural,” Amaryllis said.I nodded along. That made sense. “In that case, we’ll need to practice even harder!” I eyed Amaryllis. “Or at all.”“You make it sound like I don’t practice,” Amaryllis said.“I didn’t say anything like that,” I replied evenly.She whapped me with a wing.“Well done, children!”I had almost forgotten that Momma and the other buns were there. The team of bun adventurers stepped into the library and looked about. “That was a good show!” Carrot said. “Like looking over the little ones, but with a few skills you don’t see so often.”“We did good?” I asked.Carrot gave me a big thumbs-up, but Momma was a bit more serious about things. “You did well enough. I’m worried that you may have a hard time keeping up on the later floors. This dungeon focuses mostly on swarming tactics, which means that the general level of the enemies found within are lower than you’d expect. Still, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, or even run out of stamina or mana mid-battle.”I nodded. That was true.“We should move on,” Peter said. “Did you find the Bone Lord’s key?”“Key?” I asked. I looked to my friends, but they seemed just as lost as I was. “All we got was this jacket.” I raised the tweed jacket up. It was the cool sort, with some patches over the elbows and big pockets on the side.“Let me see that,” Amaryllis said. I let her take it, and watched as she shifted it this way and that. She fished out a key from the breast pocket. “Ah,” she said.Peter gestured, and Amaryllis tossed the key over where he snatched it from the air. “We can move to the next floor,” he said.“This jacket’s interesting,” Amaryllis said as we started to walk out of the library. “It gives you a skill called Reading Comprehension. It’s of decent quality too.”“I don’t think it’s my style,” I said.Amaryllis shrugged. “Do any of you want it?” she asked.“It’s a common drop. We cut them up and use the material to make suspenders for the little ones,” Carrot said. “It’s pretty durable.”I let them haggle over the value of the jacket. I had more interesting things to look at as I followed our bun friends to the next floor.
Name
Broccoli Bunch
Race
Bun (Riftwalker)
First Class
Cinnamon Bun Bun
First Class Level
11
Second Class
Wonderlander
Second Class Level
3
Age
16
Health
135
Stamina
150
Mana
135
Resilience
45
Flexibility
70
Magic
35
Skills
Rank
Cinnamon Bun Skills
Cleaning
A — 68%
Way of the Mystic Bun
D — 57%
Gardening
D — 24%
Adorable
D — 100%
Dancing
D — 100%
Wonderlander Skills
Tea Making
D — 94%
Mad Millinery
E — 90%
General Skills
Insight
C — 94%
Makeshift Weapon Proficiency
D — 100%
Archeology
F — 78%
Friendmaking
C — 69%
Matchmaking
E — 87%
Cinnamon Bun Skill Points
5
Wonderlander Skill Points
2
General Skill Points
4
First Class Skill Slots
0
Second Class Skill Slots
0
General Skill Slots
5
I had so many things close to going up in level!Just a couple more fights, or maybe a few more hours of practicing really hard, and I’d be all ready to move on with quite a few of my skills. Cleaning was the most exciting of that lot, but there were others too.I grinned, then realized there was no reason not to skip ahead, even when Amaryllis gave me a look.Onwards, to more adventure, and more fun!
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Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Three — Clean the Walking Dead
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Three — Clean the Walking Dead We were making really good time.The Newbining dungeon was, without a doubt, the biggest I’d ever been in. Each floor had basically a small town’s worth of stuff in it. With little buildings and shops and homes. Sure, they were dilapidated and rotting away, but they were still there to explore.If it wasn’t for all the undead walking and floating around it might have been a blast just to wander around and discover things.As it was though, we were not really there to see the sights.The third floor ended at a wall with a smaller gate in it, one that easily accepted the key I’d given to Peter.“When little buns come here, do they complete the whole dungeon?” I asked.“Oh no,” Carrot said. “We usually send them in small groups, and let them play around on each floor while someone older supervises. Most of the really little ones never make it to the third floor at all. That’s more for those that are almost teens.”“So like, when they’re Tessie’s age?” I asked.Carrot nodded. “You know Tesla?”“She introduced herself,” I said. “She’s nice.”“Yeah, good kid. Hard-headed. She’ll grow up to be a good bun. She’s about the right age to be tackling the third floor, I think.”Was little Tessie at the same level as me? I really had to start inspecting people more, but I still hadn’t gotten into the habit. It wasn’t one I had on Earth, and it felt a little weird to use. Still, I had to make more of an effort. “That feels very young to be training so hard,” I said.“You can’t be more than four or five years older, tops,” Carrot said.“That’s a lot of years.”She laughed and shook her head. “Making me feel old now,” she said. “I’m not even thirty yet, I shouldn’t feel old. Momma, is this what it’s like for you all the time?”Momma looked very unimpressed.“You’re not that old,” I told Carrot. “And Momma has aged very gracefully. She’s still here fighting with us, right. And she mentioned having grand-buns!”Momma nodded. “Thank you, Broccoli. Carrot, perhaps you could learn from our new friends about addressing your elders?”“Meh, you’ve got enough silver-eared foxes complimenting you wherever you go,” Carrot said.Was silver-eared fox an analogy for an older bun man? That sounded about right. I couldn’t help but smile a little at the exchange. The buns seemed to get along really well, even when bantering a little.“Maybe I should reconsider baby-sitting your little ones so much since I’m so busy with those silver-eared foxes,” Momma said.“Wait, you have children?” Amaryllis asked Carrot.Carrot grinned and brought her hands up in a v-for-victory pose. “Two little brats!” she said quite proudly. “They’re still tiny fluff balls.”“Can we see them?” I asked.“Oh course!” Carrot cheered. She seemed very proud of her little buns. I bet that she was a great mom.“Door’s open,” Buster said as he ducked under the passage into the next floor. He had to be careful not to wedge his shield in the doorway. Peter slid past him and soon the rest of us were following.The fourth floor was yet another section of town jammed in between four walls. The big change here was that the buildings were just a bit more dilapidated, and there wasn’t a skeleton in sight.“Keep quiet,” Peter said as he started checking all his knives. “Keep your ears perked. This floor has zombies.”“You actually call them zombies?” I asked.He shot me a glare and I mimed zipping my mouth. “That’s what the world calls them. I didn’t come up with it. Their bite is fetid and can turn a healthy bun into a sickly one in a matter of hours if not treated.”“You don’t turn into a zombie if they bite you?” I whispered.“Only if you die,” Momma said. “We’ll try to avoid that, shall we?”I nodded, and I saw Awen doing the same.“They’re made of flesh,” Peter said. “And they are not all that strong. Past the tenth level though, so expect seven to eight skills from them.”“Do you know what those are?” Amaryllis asked. She was pulling out loops of thin wire from a new pouch inside her coat.“Not all of them,” Peter said. “They have poor senses, but can relay information to each other without speaking. Their bite is as I mentioned. Cutting off limbs will not incapacitate them. They might have some sort of light fear effect too, but it’s ignorable.”“Don’t forget the stealthy ones,” Buster muttered. His voice was too deep to be called a whisper.Peter gestured to Buster. “He’s right, some of them are hard to spot. Just stay close together, and try not to make a mess of things.”Peter took the lead, with Carrot to one side, Momma on the other, and Buster right behind Peter. A wedge formation to keep us safe. I didn’t like being so much weaker than all of them, but there I was.The town had a lot of once-pretty homes, with crushed roofs and battle-scarred fronts. Paint was peeling off everything, and the roads, once obviously cobbled quite carefully, were now cracked and franky dangerous paths, sometimes covered in thin films of lingering fog.None of the streets stayed straight for very long, and if it wasn’t for the occasional glances of the walls in the distance, I would have gotten quite lost.Awen tugged my arm, and pointed off to our left, to what might have been a shop once. There was something painted on the front. I bit my lip and hesitated. Was it ‘painted’ if the material used to paint wasn’t paint? The text was jagged and broken, but still legible.“Dust to Dust,” I muttered as I read it.Something made a noise in the fog. Not a growl, but a screechy sort of rumbling noise, like a really big cat that had just had its tail stepped on. Peter raised a hand and we all paused. His ears flicked this way and that in quick succession, then the other buns nodded. It seemed to say that there was something to our left, and that he wanted to go around?If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.Did the buns have some sort of weird ear-code?That was so cool!We moved to the next intersection, and then stopped. Peter gestured down with his hand for us to stay, then darted ahead with little bunny hops that he somehow managed to make look cool and ninja-y.The bun peaked around the next corner, then flashed over to another before returning. He crouched near the middle of our group. “Both paths are blocked,” he said. “Vines and zombies. Faster path is to the left, then straight. I don’t think we’ll be able to fight without being hit from the back.”Momma nodded. “Split into two formations. Carrot, Peter and I at the front. Full offensive. Buster, stay behind with the younger ones, keep them safe.”Buster nodded.“You guys, leave us some room to fight, we’ll make sure nothing hits you from the front as long as you keep our backs cleared. We’ll move forward in leaps. Road to road. Understood?”We nodded.Our group moved over to the next intersection, all of us holding our breath a little and eyeing everything around us. Wisps of fog, like long seeking tendrils, searched the air around us and turned the fanciful scrollwork of the buildings around us into mysterious forms that seemed to twist and move whenever they weren’t focused on.I felt my heart pitter-pattering away with mounting excitement as we reached the intersection, then turned left and started down a street lined by homes with little gardens before them and hip-high stone fences. The flowers that might once have been there were long replaced by spiky weeds and those same choking roots that were crawling around everything.There were more of those noises, the strange almost-howls.The cause of those revealed themselves as the fog cleared a bit. Some two dozen people, in simple garb that looked fit for any proper villager, but shabbier, and covered in mud and gore and more.Their eyes were absent of any kind of intelligence, and their mouths all hung open to reveal teeth that had long passed the point of being rotten.Still, for all that they looked like they were in poor health, they didn’t fail to notice us. First one, then the next, started to growl and grumble. Arms raised up to reach out before them, and soon the entire band of zombies was moving towards us.Carrot smacked her fists together, then launched herself forwards to the first of the dungeon monsters. Its head exploded in a gorey mess, and when the stench hit me, I almost lost my tea.“Behind,” Amaryllis said.I turned around and faced the street we’d just come from. Momma and Peter joined the melee, leaving me and my friends, as well as Buster, all alone to stare down a street empty of zombies.Buster grunted. “They’re coming,” he said. He unhooked his hammer from his belt and set it against his shoulder before taking a wide stance, his shield out before him and legs bent just a little.I evened out my spade like a spear, and saw my friends readying themselves too.We didn’t have long to wait.The zombies coming at us weren’t quite running, but it was a near thing. They hobbled and bounced and grumbled with every step. Some of them had bits missing, and I caught a whiff of pus and other yucky stuff before I pushed my Cleaning aura out and washed the stink away.Something told me that Cleaning wouldn’t work quite as well on these. But that was a hunch, so I tested it by flinging a ball of Cleaning magic into the first zombie in the bunch.The magic smacked it in the chest, washing away the grime in its shirt and making it stumble back into its friends. It seemed weaker, a little less coordinated, but still very much unalive.“Darn,” I said.Buster raised his hammer high, then brought it down with a thump that made the cobbles shift underfoot. Cracks ran out ahead of him, and with a violent rip, stone spikes as tall as I was-ears and all-tore out of the earth and formed a barrier like crooked teeth.“There,” he said.The first zombies impaled themselves on the barrier, but those behind were able to squeeze around or climb over it. Not a wall then, but an obstacle to slow them down to a trickle.Awen’s crossbow thumped and a zombie gained a bristly bolt in the head before going down. Amaryllis, who didn’t seem keen on using her rather loud magic, lashed out with a loop of wire and caught one zombie by the wrist. Another loop around its opposite arm and, with her wires glowing a little, she was able to stop the zombie from going forwards.The next two loops were tossed on the ground and wrapped around its ankles, but only with some difficulty, and she had to try again a few times. Still, once she succeeded, the air hummed and sparks of electricity raced through the lines and into the zombie. It spun, and under Amaryllis’ command, attacked the next one to squeeze past the wall.“So cool!” I said.“Pay attention, idiot!” Amaryllis said.“Oh, right,” I said. Bastion and Buster were making short work of those jumping off the wall, with Awen’s occasional shot nailing one to the barrier. She even seemed to be using a tiny bit of glass magic to keep them away.I couldn’t just stand back and gawk! I had to do my part.Running over to the wall, I raised my spade and smacked the first monster to poke its head out.I was really, really thankful for Cleaning magic when things started to get splattery.
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