Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Six — Matchmaking 101 With Momma
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Six — Matchmaking 101 With Momma I wiped my brow and glanced at the message from Mister Menu about the wight. It wasn’t anything very interesting, but it did confirm that I’d won. Well, the wight turning to dust like all dead dungeon creatures did that, but it double-confirmed it.“That was a workout,” I said.“I suppose so,” Momma said. “You did very well though.”“I have the impression that a lot of the buns in Hopsalot would be a lot stronger than me,” I said.Momma nodded. “That would be a correct impression, but you can’t always judge yourself based on the standards of others. Rather, you need to be able to compare yourself to yourself first, to see the improvements you’re making, and strive for more, regardless of how others are improving faster or slower around you. Also, I suspect that Hopsalot is a very unique village.”I thought about what she said. That sounded like a very nice philosophy to live by. “Have you travelled a lot?” I asked.Momma smiled. “When I was a younger bun, yes. Now that I’m an old lady, I’ve found the desire to go out and explore has lessened somewhat.”“So, you had a bunch of adventures?” I asked.“Oh yes. Plenty. Though they were a little closer to home. I’ve been to the Trenten Flats, and through the Hoofbreaker woods, I traveled east and south too.” Momma stretched her back. “Should we continue?” she asked.I nodded and stretched just like she did. It felt good to make my back pop-pop after moving so much. Most of the time though, there wasn’t... well, time, to stretch before a fight.“Momma?” I asked as I thought of something. “Do you think I can become strong too? Like you.”“Oh?” she asked. “Of course. It’s never too late to become stronger. Is there a reason you want to improve yourself?”“Yeah, of course. I need to help my friends. I can’t do that if I’m weak. Well, that’s not entirely true. You don’t need to be strong to be a good friend. Hugs are hugs, after all, but if we’re going to be helping the World, and going on big adventures, then I need to be able to watch out for them, right?”“That’s a good attitude to have,” Momma agreed. “And yes, I think you have plenty of chances to grow stronger. Just keep in mind that martial strength isn’t the greatest thing there is. I have a couple of more combat-orientated classes, but they’re not the ones I rely on the most.”“They’re not?” I asked.She shook her head. “Nope. That’s my Mom class.”There was a Mom class? Wait, no, of course there was. “That sounds really nice,” I said.“It's a good class to have,” she agreed. “I’ve evolved it once or twice, so now it’s at Greater Grand Mom, but it started a little simpler than that. Knowing how to kiss boo boos better, and how to give good hugs is invaluable.”“I don’t think I want to be a mom just yet,” I said. “I couldn’t do that and adventure at the same time.”She laughed. “No, I would hope not. Give yourself a few years to find a nice beau with good ears.”Good ears? That was weird, but I chose not to comment. It was likely a bun thing.“Alright,” I said. “So, we need to find this big sconce thing, right?”Momma nodded. “That’s right. Do you feel up to taking the next wight we run across?”“Sure,” I said. I probably needed a couple more minutes to rebuild my stamina, but as long as there was a pause between fights I’d likely be fine. “As long as you’re supervising, I think I should be okay.”We pushed deeper into the foggy forest, and did run into a wight. The problem was, it wasn’t alone.Momma hummed a discordant note that had me looking around until I spotted a wight crouching in the trees above. Then, with a slight rustle, a second appeared in a bush off to the side.“I thought they only attacked one at a time,” I said.“Perhaps they’re not entirely aware of each other. Or they intend to each go after one of us,” Momma said.That made sense. “One each, then?” I asked.“Certainly. I’ll take that one.” She pointed up in the tree where the undead monster seemed ready to leap down. “You get the other one, alright?”I nodded and quickly dropped my pack and set my spade, ready for a fight.The wight above jumped down with a hiss, shadows trailing after it like ghostly flames and clawed hands splayed wide.Momma leapt up, spun around in mid-air, and punched the monster in the head with a fist that burned bright with roaring flames.The wight sorta just exploded, and Momma landed a little ways away, shaking her hand to dispel the flames. “Ah, I’m not so young anymore,” she complained.I think I had to disagree, and the wight, the very dead one, seemed to be on my side with that.The second monster scampered out of the underbrush and scurried towards me on all fours. I set my spade, tucking it under my armpit and holding it in place while I brought my left hand to the side and hid it behind me a little. The monster wouldn’t be able to see me forming any spells.I started to form the spell I’d practiced the most, the fire-aspect mana warming up my palm as I twisted the magic this way and that.The monster stopped just out of spade-reach and slapped the ground.Long, wriggling shadows formed in the air and lashed out at me.I jumped to the side, kicked off a tree, then used that to jump back towards the wight while extending my arm out towards it with nine spinning fireballs hovering over it.The fireballs launched with sounds like a hose when you jammed your thumb into the opening.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.The wight tried to roll out of their path, but the spray was too wide. A pair of them caught the monster in the side, and clung onto the tattered clothes it wore.The wight screeched, but instead of rolling to put off the flames, it charged right at me, arms swinging like mad.I parried the first blow, then the second with the haft of my spade, then, as it pulled back to strike again, I saw an opening and bonked it on the head with the flat of my shovel.The wight wiggled a bit, stunned by the blow, and still very much on fire. “Sorry!” I said as I swung hard and fast.Ding! Congratulations, you have bonked ‘Wight of Newbining’s Forest, level 14! Bonus Exp was granted for thumping a monster above your level!“Woo!” I cheered.Congratulations! Through repeated actions your Matchmaking skill has improved and is now eligible for rank up!Rank D is a free rank!“I got a rank up!” I cheered.Momma clapped. “Well done! Which skill improved?”I grinned over to her, a proud warmth in my tummy. “My Matchmaking skill.”The older bun blinked. “Matchmaking? Did you... fancy the wight?”“Huh?” I asked. “Matchmaking is for setting things on fire. Well, I guess you could use it for other things.”Momma nodded. “I use it for matching up my grandbunnies with cute boys and girls, and as an excuse to meddle in other people’s business.”I gave her a look.She crossed her arms. “There’s very little to actually do in Hopsalot, I’ll have you know. Meddling is a perfectly acceptable pastime.”“Hmph,” I said. “That doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to do.”“Now now, I’m hardly meddling that much. Just nudging things along. You don’t get great-great grand buns without helping your shy great-grand buns find someone good for them.”I shook my head. Momma had a bit of a mean side to her after all. Not that I could blame her that much, the little buns were very cute. “Should we keep going?” I asked.“Certainly,” she replied.We continued through the forest at a nice, decent clip. The brambles and bushes were hard to navigate around, and in some places trees had fallen, creating big, branchy barriers that we had to find ways around.This forest was nothing like those in the movies I’d watched. The ground was all bumpy, and covered in roots and pits where you could easily twist an ankle. Fortunately, Momma and I were both pretty good at jumping over and around obstacles.It took a few minutes, but at long last, we ran into what I suspected was a sconce.The thing was like a big bowl made of cement or some sort of shaped stone. It was big enough around that I could have laid down in it and still have some room to spare. That was handy, I was afraid that we were looking for a really small thing that would be easily hidden.“So, how do we light it?” I asked as I peeked over the top and looked in. There were some logs and such on the inside, with a layer of dried leaves under them and a few brambles here and there.Momma snapped her fingers and a ball of fire hovered over her index. “I suppose like this?”She flicked the tiny fireball into the stone basin and it smacked against the leaves and logs within. A moment later, the fire spread and a pillar of smoke rose out of the basin as the leaves all whooshed and burned.It wouldn’t take long for that to transfer over to the logs.“Nice!” I said. “Victory hug?”Momma chuckled and opened her arms wide a moment before I crashed into her. I nestled my head in the crook of her neck while she did the same. I wanted it to be a quick hug, but Momma was warm, and she felt a lot like... well, like a mom.I didn’t sniffle or anything, but Momma did tighten the hug and patted my back. “There, there, you’re a good bun, aren’t you?” she muttered.I nodded a little.Did it really have to take a hug for me to realize how much I missed my mom?Ding! For doing a Special Action in line with your Class, you have unlocked the skill: Hugging!I laughed and pulled out of the hug, with only a bit of reluctance. “Thanks, Momma,” I said.“No problem,” she replied easily. “Should we keep going?”“Yeah!” I said. I used a bit of Cleaning magic on my face, just to make sure it was nice and neat. “Let’s find the next brazier.”Hugging, Rank F — 04%The ability to hug. Your proficiency and instincts for hugging have improved! Hug harder, hug better.I laughed and skipped ahead.We only ran across one more wight in the following minutes, one that was tucked under a pile of leaves and who attacked us with shadow-y spears from every direction without coming out of hiding. Momma got tired of ducking and weaving around, so she ended up flipping over to it and crushing it with a stomp that made the trees rattle.A minute or so later the fog started to lift and the woods lightened.“It seems that our companions have lit the last of the fires,” Momma said.She led us over to the far wall, where the entrance to the next area was supposed to be, without so much as hesitating. Her sense of direction had to be really good.When I found my friends all gathering up near the gate to the next floor, I ran ahead and crashed into them with a happy hug.I had to get grinding, of course!“Get off me, you moron!” Amaryllis whined.“I’m just getting better!” I said.“That doesn’t make sense, you damned oaf!”
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Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Ashes to Ashes
Chapter One Hundred and Ninety-Seven — Ashes to Ashes The gate to the sixth floor was only half-way opened. It was one of those old-style barriers, with an interwoven mesh of steel bars across it. Huge roots crawled through the lacing, jamming it in place so that to cross, most of us would need to duck.“Before we move on to the next area,” Momma said. “I think it would be nice to know what to expect, don’t you think?”Most of us nodded at that, and Carrot raised her hand like an attentive schoolgirl. “I know what’s next!” she cheered.“Please do tell,” Momma said.“It’s the... dead lord guy,” Carrot said. “He’s actually pretty tough.”“The draugr lord,” Peter corrected.“That’s what I said.”Peter shook his head. “No. It’s not the same.”“Isn’t he dead, and a lord?” Carrot asked.“Technically.”Carrot’s smugness radiated off her. “Then I was close enough.”Amaryllis stepped in with a smart question, because that’s what Amaryllis liked doing. “Could you perhaps explain the boss’ mechanisms a little more?”Carrot nodded, then helped her explanation using big, sweeping gestures. “So, you’ve got this big tomb-thing.”“A mausoleum,” Peter said.“And it’s set in the ground a bit. Now, when you go in, there’s this big huge room with a platform on the end and this coffin on it. The dead lord will burst out of that thing.”“It’s a tomb, and the dead lord is a draugr, a sort of undead,” Peter added.“Now, when he gets to fighting, these other undead guys will come out of the sides, from all of these tombs leaning against the walls. They’re not nearly as strong though.”Peter nodded. “More draugr. As noted, they’re not as powerful as the lord himself.”“And to win?” Amaryllis asked.“Kill the dead lord,” Carrot said.“It’s more complicated than that. With every additional undead that dies, he grows a little stronger. There are a finite supply of those, though. He is agile and strong enough that killing him outright is difficult. If you do kill him, then kill the allies he summons, then he just comes back to life.”“So it’s a battle of attrition,” I said. “You need to keep the boss busy while you get rid of the additional fighters, then you focus everything on him?”“Yeah,” Carrot said. “He’s strong, but not offensively. He mostly gets harder to hurt over time.”“There’s more to it than that,” Peter said. “The lord has four guardians. They could be considered side-bosses, if you want. They’re quite fearsome in their own right.”Momma hummed. “I think a fair solution would be to allow our young friends here to take care of the weaker foes while we get rid of the boss. With all of us here, it shouldn’t be too difficult to clear the boss in a few moments.”I nodded along. That sounded doable.When we moved on to the other side, I made sure to stay close to my friends. I didn’t know if walking with our arms linked counted towards improving Hugging’s level, but I was willing to try.“How are you feeling so far?” I asked Awen.We ducked under the gate, and found ourselves in a wide open space with a few trees and one large building in the middle. It was a big square place, dug into the side of a hill and entirely made of black stones. The tomb or mausoleum or whatever, wasn’t in the greatest of shapes. Bricks were falling apart on it, and large roots dug into its sides.“Ah? I’m doing okay,” Awen said. “It’s kind of scary, and it’s hard, but I’m growing very fast. I think this is the kind of adventuring uncle did all the time when he was younger.”“I don’t know if he’s really an example you’d want to follow,” Amaryllis said.“Uncle is free, and he’s very strong. Even when he wants to do things that people don’t like, he’s never stopped. And he's well-respected by some very good people,” Awen said. “He might not be perfect, but I like him very much.”“Yeah,” I said. “I want to be like him too, when I get older.”“I’ll be sure to keep an eye on any mustache you happen to grow,” Amaryllis said.I booped her with my hip. “Don’t be silly. But.. if I could grow one, I’d want it to be just like Abraham’s.”She shook her head. “I never understood the need for facial hair. It’s not something you’ll ever see on a harpy man.”“Can harpy boys get facial hair?” I asked. “Or like, any hair on their bodies?”“Men tend to have small feathers on their upper arms and legs,” Amaryllis said. “Otherwise, no. No hair, or facial feathers.”I hummed and untangled my arm from hers to pat her on the head. It was strange, I’d hugged her plenty, but I never really took any time to poke at her hair...or head-feathers, I suppose. They were surprisingly dry, but the tufts near their base were very soft and fluffy, like down feathers. “Weird,” I said.“Get your hands off my head, you moron,” she said. “You don’t know the first thing about preening and it shows.”“Oh! Maybe you should show us? I bet it would be fun to learn. I could teach you how to braid human hair. Mine’s getting long. I keep thinking that I need a haircut, but I forget every time we’re in a city.”“I could help,” Awen said. “I’m pretty good with styling and that kind of thing. I don’t have a skill for it, but I used to like playing with my maid’s hair.”I grinned. “That would be great.” My hair was all bundled up in a rough ponytail at the back of my neck, which was fine for keeping it out of the way, but it was getting to be a bit much. Long hair was pretty, but a little annoying.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!“I should teach you some bun braids,” Carrot said as she moved over to our side. We were still trekking over to the mausoleum, but we were mostly taking our time. “You need to braid your hair so it doesn’t pull at your ears.”“Oh, I hadn’t really thought of that,” I said.“If we’re all quite done talking about our hair,” Peter said. “We should form up before entering.”“I don’t know,” Carrot said. “I could go on for quite a while. Heck, we should do something about your hair, Peter. The messy look kinda works for you, but I think you would be a lot more handsome if you tried using a comb one of these days.”“Touch me, and you’ll regret it,” Peter said.“Children.” Surprisingly, it was Buster who spoke, not Momma. The big one-and-a-half-eared bun pointed to the mausoleum. “Pay attention, please.”“Buster’s right, let’s form up,” Momma said. “Us elders will take the lead and focus on the boss. Carrot, Peter, that leaves two sub-bosses for each of you, but I don’t think they all show up at the same time. Little ones, spread out, but not too much, and take out the weaker foes before they can become a hindrance, alright?”I nodded and I saw my friends doing the same. We prepped our gear and got ready to fight. Awen had it hardest of all since she carried two weapons that couldn’t be used at the same time. She hung her crossbow away for this fight though and swung her hammer around to limber up her arm.Amaryllis twirled her dagger and let loose a few sparks, and Bastion just placed a hand on his hilt while looking cool.“We’re ready,” I said.“Wonderful.”The doors to the mausoleum were large stone things, closed in with a pair of big, wrought-iron handles in the middle. The entire thing was covered in carvings. I could only just make out the words ‘Ashes to Ashes’ engraved into the stone.Buster pushed them open and we walked into a little antechamber with a big metal bowl in the middle, and two more doors at the end of the room.“It’s on the other side of those,” Carrot said. She snapped her fingers and flicked some fire into the bowl. It lit up, and from below, a line of fire darted out of the bowl and down a track that led into a hole in the wall opposite. “And now we’ll have light.”We moved over to the right-most door, and Buster shoved it open.The room was as big around as a hockey rink, minus any room for seating, with a ceiling reaching way up above and held there by big pillars. The sides had little alcoves, where standing coffins lined the walls.In the middle was a raised section—a dias—with steps all around it on which sat five coffins. Four stood on big, ornate racks, and the fifth was laying down in pride of place atop a golden platform.Sconces came whooshing to life as lines of fire burned across the room, each one leading back to a hole in the wall next to the entrance. A line of fuses to turn everything on? Neat.Banners hung from the ceiling, with images of skulls and what looked like stylized ghosts on them. The words ‘dust to dust’ were woven into the images.“The boss will pop up as soon as we set foot near that coffin of his,” Carrot said. “We need to grab that to open the next gate.” The bun pointed ahead and to something atop the coffin.I squinted, and could only just make out a statue in the darkness behind. Around its neck, glinting in the poor light, was a key.Our footsteps were only little tips and taps, but they still felt loud in the cavernous room as we advanced towards the platform. My friends and I stopped before the steps and fanned out a little bit, all of us eyeing the coffins by the sides while the buns moved on ahead.The near-silence was broken by a floor-shuddering boom.I eeped and jumped a little while turning to face the front of the room where the big coffin in the middle was still shuddering from the aftereffects of a huge blow.Another boom, and the coffin’s cover jumped up a little while a cascade of dust slipped down its sides.With a grinding squeal of stone rubbing against stone, the lid of the draugr lord’s casket slid to the side and then crashed to the ground with a shudder that I felt in my legs.Bony, near-skeletal hands, partially covered in rust-covered mail, grabbed at the edge of the box, and with a tug, they hauled the undead lord upright. In the poor lighting, I couldn’t make out every detail, but he was pale-skinned and deathly, with a grin filled with uneven teeth and armour that was part rust, and part beautifully crafted armour.The draugr lord roared, a blast of sound that shook dust from the ceiling and knocked my ears back.And then Carrot sped over to his side faster than I could blink and punched him hard in the face.The casket exploded in a shower of stone and the draugr’s corpse went flying out the back. “Enough with the posturing,” Carrot said. “I’ve got things to do tonight!”The two tombs next to the draugr lord’s burst open, unveiling two more undead, one in rotting robes, the other in dried leather armour.All around the room, caskets started to open and the undead began crawling out.I set my feet and inspected one of the first that caught my eye.Servant of the Draugr Lord of Newbinning, level 13A bit higher levelled than I was, but I had a type advantage. And a higher level just meant more experience points for me. “Do your best everyone!” I called out.“Oh? Thank goodness you said that, I intended to do my worst,” Amaryllis snarked.I snorted even as she let loose a volley of lightning and the fight began in earnest.
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