Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two — Chivalry Isn't Dead
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two — Chivalry Isn't Dead The second archivist we met was a whole lot more friendly than the first. A bit too friendly, maybe?Not that I believed that someone could be too friendly, but they were... nervously friendly. Like they knew they might get into trouble if they didn’t act nice, so any niceness they did have didn’t feel quite as genuine as it could be. It reminded me a bit of talking to a salesperson in a store. The smiles weren’t fake, but they weren’t entirely real either.“Proportion Distortion,” the archivist said as they walked through the stacks, their eyes roaming over the bindings of the books above them. The shelves were quite a bit taller than I was used to, but then again, the sylph could fly, so it made sense they’d build without worrying about height. “Ah.” They reached up and tugged a book out from a high shelf and then opened it on the spot, pages flipping by as they skimmed through the tome. “Yes, this is it.”We returned to a quieter table in a corner of the library illuminated by a magical, flame-less lamp, and one of those tall slit-windows. Caprica, Amaryllis and I squeezed in around the table while the archivist laid the book down in front of us.“This section right over here, Captain,” they said, a finger tapping at the page they’d opened to. “This is an older text, it hasn’t been reformatted to the current standard. I can explain some of it, if you wish.”I leaned forwards to read.“Proportion Distortion. A skill thus far associated with a few rare stealth, infiltration, and entertainment classes. At the lower ranks (Novice to Apprentice) the skill seems to lend a certain amount of flexibility to the user. This flexibility mostly functions when the skill holder is attempting to enter a small location or pass through a small obstruction.This skill tends to be notably less useful than a skill like Enhanced Flexibility, especially as the conditions to trigger it are more specific.Uniquely, the skill has a social component, assisting the user in appearing to be part of any group they are attempting to join or infiltrate or entertain. This is difficult to assess and test, but it is a noted, if minor, advantage of the skill, and may be why more assassination-inclined classes have access to it.At higher ranks (Disciple and above) the skill allows the user to enlarge or reduce themselves in sizer. The user’s weight remains constant, but they literally become larger or smaller at the expense of a constant drain of magical energy. Useful for infiltration, and an ability that can be used in combat to some effect.“Whoa,” I said. That sounded really neat. I could do without the whole assassination stuff, but the... I guess it was a buff to social stuff was nice, and being able to make myself bigger or smaller sounded super neat.“That’s such a Broccoli skill,” Amaryllis said.“Well, it’s from one of my classes,” I said.“I meant more in the sense that it looks like a waste of a skill, but I’m certain you’ll find a way to use it to its full potential,” Amaryllis said.I grinned over at her. “I can try,” I said. Reaching down, I turned the page, but there didn’t seem to be anything more about the skill except for a long list of what I guessed were references. “Huh, there’s nothing on how to train the skill.”Caprica reached up and cupped her cheek, an elbow on the table. “Usually that comes from using the skill. Though in this case I can see how it would be a difficult skill to practice.”I nodded. “Well, I can always try squeezing into small places, that doesn’t sound too hard.”Proportion Distortion E — 29%The skill had already gotten a bit of experience, though rank E was usually very easy to fill up. I guessed that it was more the social aspect of the skill that was getting me that experience. I couldn’t recall squishing into anything, except maybe for a few shorter sylph-made doorways.“If I may,” the archivist said. “You might consider practicing in some dungeons that are known for having confined, tight spaces. It’s been noted that training in a situation where the person is challenged tends to produce much greater results.”“Broccoli’s levelling speed is genuinely incredible,” Amaryllis said. “She went from basically nothing to catching up to me in little over two months. I blame her lack of self-preservation.”“Hey now!” I said.Amaryllis huffed a sort of ‘I’m just tugging your tail’ kind of huff.“Are there any other skills that you have questions about?” the Archivist asked."Well ..." I trailed off.The archivist gave me a smile that was clearly trying to be encouraging.""Uh... since we’re here and you don’t seem to mind answering, I...” I paused, glancing at Amaryllis, but she merely looked perplexed, so I turned back to the Archivist and took a deep breath. “This is embarrassing, but do you know of any good skills that can combine with Adorable to get rid of it. Please?”I noticed one of Caprica’s eyebrows rising, but she didn’t comment, which was great. My cheeks felt warm just from admitting I had that no-good skill.“On the topic of unfortunate skills,” Amaryllis added. “I have, of all things, Huffing.” She huffed very nicely to prove it. “I don’t imagine there’s something that can combine neatly with that?”The archivist stood and bowed quickly. “I’ll be right back. We happen to have a lot of resources for combinable skills. Are there any others you want me to search for?”I shook my head, and Amaryllis did the same.“You two seem to have some fairly unique skill sets,” Caprica said.“Really? I think we mostly just have skills that we pick up along the way. I was never one for min-maxing or anything like that,” I said.“We have been in some relatively dangerous situations. I think we’ve faced, what was it, four dungeons in the last month?”I frowned. Had it been that many? “We did some other stuff too.”“Ah yes, our other activities, such as visiting small hostile, negotiating with dragons, beating up a gang, fighting pirates, and getting shot at with lasers.”The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.I laughed, and then had to explain to a curious Caprica that our adventures really had been pretty tame so far. Amaryllis argued the opposite, but Amaryllis liked arguing.“I’ve brought anything I could find,” the archivist said as they returned, this time with a stack of tomes that they dropped onto the edge of the table with a heavy thump. “Forgive me, I didn’t expect it to take quite so long, but both skills are rather uncommon, and it took a moment to draw up a list.”I blinked as the archivist set down two pages onto the table. One was labelled ‘Adorable’, the other ‘Huffing.’“Did you write all of that while you were gone?” I asked as I picked the page up. There was a short list on it.“Library magic makes cross-referencing works relatively easy,” they said.I set the page down and leaned over it.The Adorable skill has been noted to combine with the following skills to produce the following result:Adorable merged with Romancing creates the Friendzone skill.“What’s the Friendzone skill do?” I asked.Caprica choked.“The Friendzone skill passively increases romantic attention, but also makes it actively easier for the skill holder to reject that kind of advance. It can also provide a buff in a zone around them to anyone who considers the holder a friend. It’s a skill frequently held by courtesans. Did you want to read the full reports on the skill?”I hummed. Not something I really needed, then. It wasn’t like people were frequently attracted to me that way. Besides, I had a lot of buff skills already. “I think I’m okay, thanks.”Adorable merged with both an Unarmed Combat Proficiency or Martial Art, and a Homemaking skill creates the Wai-fu skill.Another strange martial art? Well, I had Way of the Mystic Bun already, so I probably didn’t need this one.Adorable merged with Booksmarts creates the Adorkable Skill.“What’s the Adorkable skill?” I asked.“It makes the user seem more attractive, especially when they’re working on something they're passionate about, usually that will be an academic subject,” the archivist said. “It’s common enough with librarians and archivists who are more socially inclined.”Not what I was looking for either. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I was looking for to begin with. Something better and more useful than Adorable. Something I could be properly proud of!Adorable merged with Intimidation-like skills creates the Adorifying skill.Nope.Adorable merged with Door Making Proficiency creates A-door-able.Too silly.Adorable merged with Persuasions creates Mystic Eyes of Puppy Dogs.That was just weird.Adorable merged with a Chivalry-based skill and a Leadership-based skill creates Dork Knight.My hand slammed into the table and I jumped to my feet. Everyone startled, but I could apologize later. “That’s perfect,” I said. “What’s the Dork Knight skill do?” I asked.“Ah,” The archivist said. They shuffled through the books and opened one up before paging through it in a hurry. “Dork Knight. It’s an uncommon skill, we only have two examples on record to pull from. The skill seems to focus mostly on assisting the user with chivalrous actions. They tend to be unaffiliated, and somewhat difficult to read.”“So it’s like a dark and mysterious knight skill,” I said.“I’m quite certain that’s exactly what it isn’t,” Amaryllis said.I decided to ignore her. I was allowed to dream, darn it. “What’s a Chivalry-based skill?”“Certain sets of skills are broadly folded into a wider category,” the archivist said. “In this case, there are dozens of skills centred around chivalrous and knightly actions. Chivalry is one, Paladin’s Chivalry is another, then there are knightly orders with their own unique skills. Chivalry of the Knights of the World is a nearly unique skill that still shares most of its traits with the Chivalry skill.”“Oh, that makes sense. So it’s like Swordplay Proficiency and Sword Fighting.”The archivist nodded. “Two skills that are, for the most part, identical, but with slight differences in execution or use. Your example would both fit under the Sword Proficiency, for example. Some careers ask that a person have a skill that fits within a broader category. Librarians obviously need some sort of book-related skill, but whether that’s Booksmarts or Book Learning Proficiency doesn’t truly matter.”I nodded along. It made sense, if only so that people didn’t have to have big lists of applicable skills. “So how do I get a Chivalry-based skill?”The archivist shuffled through their books again, but they answered while searching. “Broadly speaking, such a skill will probably come from focused, continuous action.”“So I need to be real chivalrous for a while,” I said.“Exactly.”I grinned. “That sounds perfect.”“Oh, World,” Amaryllis muttered.“Now, what’s chivalry?”Caprica giggled, a hand pressed over her mouth to keep their mirth in. “Oh, you are wonderful, Captain Bunch. Chivalry is the way a knight or soldier should act. It’s a code, basically. A promise to act with courtesy and kindness, to uphold justice, to help the weak, and to act with honour above all else.”I blinked. “But that’s just being nice. How can being nice be a skill?”“The skill presumably helps the skilled act accordingly,” Caprica said. “It helps knights pick the just option.”“But... I mean, some situations make it hard to know what the right thing is, but most of the time, it’s just the right thing to do.”Amaryllis reached over and pat me on the head. “Not everyone has the same moral fibre as you, Broccoli.”“My morals aren’t complicated; just be nice to everyone and treat everybody fairly, it’s not hard.”“Sure, sure,” Amaryllis dismissed.There had to be more to this chivalry thing than just being nice. “Does Bastion have a chivalry skill?” I asked.“I would imagine that he does, yes,” Caprica said.“Well then, I’ll just ask him how he got it, and then I’ll do the same thing.”
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Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Three — Knight of the Feather Duster
Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Three — Knight of the Feather Duster “After you, ma’am,” I said as I opened the door before my friends.Awen curtsied, as she had done at every other door I opened for her, and Amaryllis rolled her eyes, also as she had been doing all morning.After leaving Caprica at the entrance of the library the day before, I had started practicing my chivalry. That meant opening doors for ladies, and helping them sit down, and also fighting monsters. So far I was two for three in the chivalry department, and I was sure we’d have to fight some sort of monster eventually.“You know this isn’t going to work,” Amaryllis said.“It probably won’t work,” I said. “Which doesn’t mean it will never work, just that it’s somewhat unlikely to work. Unlikely isn’t impossible... ma’am.”Amaryllis huffed a mighty huff. “Stop calling me ma’am.”“I think it’s cute,” Awen said. “Broccoli’s not doing anything mean.”“Opening doors and being courteous isn’t mean, no, but it’s annoying when it’s coming from Broccoli,” Amaryllis said. “Besides, I can open my own doors, thank-you-very-much.”“I would never imply that you can’t, ma’am,” I replied.Awen giggled while Amaryllis fumed quietly.I started practicing chivalry the night before, and so far I hadn’t gotten a skill for it. But I did get a lot of innocent fun teasing Amaryllis by being too nice to her, so that was a plus. I figured I could keep it up for a little bit. Being chivalrous was basically being nice with extra steps, and that sounded just peachy to me.“Are you going to open the door to the guild too?” Amaryllis asked some time later as we arrived at the front of the Goldenalden Exploration Guild. The place still looked as rough as it had the day before.“I certainly will, my lady,” I said before bowing at the waist to Amaryllis.She crossed her arms and pouted while Awen laughed next to her. “You don’t know how to bow,” Awen said.“I don’t?” I asked.She shook her head, then smiled as I opened the door for her. “I’ll show you later.”“Please don’t,” Amaryllis said.“Ah, hello!”Reginald was standing in the lobby, along with a sylph that I didn’t recognize but who was obviously some sort of journalist. He had a small cap on, with a feather sticking out of it, and he had a notepad tucked into one of the pockets of his ink-stained coat. A bag sat by his feet, big and lumpy, with the flash-bulb of a camera sticking out of the top of it. The journalist nodded. “Hello,” he said.“Hello Reginald,” Amaryllis said. “And hello Mister...”“Yanick, I work for World Watcher Weekly,” the journalist said.We had a quick round of handshaking and introductions, Reginald standing to the side and smiling the entire time. “Yanick here will be running a small article on your journey all the way here. I was hoping that one of you could sit with him and recount the tale?”“Ah, it can’t be me,” I said. “I promised I’d do some gardening and clean the place up, remember?”“Yes, of course,” Reginald said.“Awen and I should be able to retell the story without issue,” Amaryllis said. “Should we do that here, or is there a more comfortable place to have this kind of discussion?”“There’s a lounge room upstairs,” Reginald said. “I’ll guide you there in a moment. Captain Bunch, you’ll find all the tools you need in the shed out back.” He searched his pockets for a moment before handing me a keyring. And then, before I knew it, my friends were ushered up the stairs and I was left in the guild’s lobby with a keyring in hand.“Uh, okay,” I said to the empty room.Shrugging, I started to wander around. It didn’t take long to find a broom closet under the stairs. I had Cleaning magic, of course, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want to swish a duster around as I worked.And I couldn't swish-swish a duster around if I didn’t have a duster to swish-swish.I started with the lobby, humming to myself even as I pushed Cleaning magic into the duster I wielded and into the air around me as an aura. That meant that the more time I spent around a corner, the more my magic ate away at the dust and grime and cob-webs. Swishing the duster against the glass display cases and spider-webs only made it faster.Of course, I made sure that there weren’t any poor spiders on the webs I was cleaning away, and when I did find one, I’d carefully coax it onto my hand, then go outside where I placed the nice spider on the bit of grass next to the guild.Once the lobby was sparkly and clean and smelled fresh, I moved through the guild, mostly keeping to the corridors until I found an exit to the back.The yard there was rough, with the grass having gotten too tall and filled with weeds.The shed at the very back was a bit run down, but still serviceable, though there was a small bee’s nest clumped onto one side of it.I made sure not to disturb any of them as I fetched a few tools. There was a reel mower, stuck in the back, and some trowels and rakes and other tools. Most of them had a patina of rust, but a quick inspection and I figured they were perfectly usable, if in need of a bit of maintenance.So I tugged out the tools I needed and got to work. The reel mower chewed through the grass with a whirl, especially after I pumped some magic into it to make it run smoother, and then, once the small lawn was all trimmed up, I started to dig out the weeds one by one.I was actually having quite a bit of fun! Gardening was a nice, quiet way to spend some time. I wished I had a friend to share the quiet with, but being alone for a little bit wasn’t so bad.Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.I moved around to the front and started to tend to the plants around the guild’s entrance.It was quiet out. People were at work, and those who weren’t were usually older sylph moving past in a hurry, clearly quite busy, or younger sylph that looked like they were scouring the city, looking for some fun trouble to get up to. I had a few gawkers; I guess a bun doing gardening work in an armoured dress wasn’t all that common a sight in Goldenalden. No one interrupted though, except for some kids that ran off laughing when I made silly faces and wiggled my ears at them.The flowers at the front of the guild were in dire need of some love. They were still strong, with good roots holding them in place, but they were being choked out by some meddling weeds.I tugged the weeds out and set them to the side. They could be mulched up later and used as fertilizer, maybe.Gardening — D-34%Not bad!Once the flowers were given a bit of space and some water, they had a better chance of growing big and strong. I cleaned up the flower boxes, then got to cleaning the front of the guild. It was tricky to get to the higher parts. I could only jump so high, after all, and flinging Cleanballs at the windows and facade was only so effective at taking off the grime and dirt caked onto the bricks.I was just trying to figure out a way to get to the very top of the building-maybe I could hang off the edge?-when the front door opened and Awen stuck her head out. “Oh, there you are,” she said.“Heya,” I said. “Is everything going well?”She nodded. ‘Yes, for the most part. The journalist is done with the interview, I think. He wants to take a picture, and we want you to be there.”“Oh, sure,” I said. I patted down my knees, a bit of Cleaning magic taking care of any dirt stuck to me and washing out the grime under my fingertips. “I’m ready!”“Great,” Awen said. “We’re waiting upstairs, in the lounge.”“We’re going to take a picture there?” I asked.“I guess,” Awen said. “Come on?”I nodded and followed after her. It was nice seeing the lobby without any dust in it, the few loose items reorganized, and the room smelling much more fresh than it had before. There was just something very satisfying about a room that was entirely clean.“It looks nice,” Awen said. “Did you do everything?”“No, just the lobby, and a few of the little open spaces around. Mostly I spent my time outside. I didn’t get Reginald’s permission to do all the other little rooms. Though I did blast a bunch of Cleaning magic into the washrooms, so those should be clean too.”“I think he’ll be happy,” Awen said with a nod.I hoped so too! And maybe it would help the guild get a few more members if they saw that it was nice and neat inside and out.We climbed up to the second floor, then moved over to the lounge where I darted ahead of Awen and opened the door for her. “M’lady,” I said.Awen laughed. “That’s awful. But thanks.”Reginald looked like he was in a much better mood, with a big grin on and enough energy pouring off of him that he couldn’t stay still. The journalist, meanwhile, just looked confused. He was staring at his notepad, as if not quite believing what was written there.Amaryllis was seated, all prim and proper, on the biggest lounge chair in the room. One leg carefully crossed over the other and an aura of smugness so strong it was almost physical wafting off of her.“Uh oh,” I said.“It’s not... that bad?” Awen said, likely guessing at some of what I was thinking.I cleared my throat. “Ah, I’m here,” I said.“Oh! Wonderful!” Reginald said. “We just wanted a photo, for the newspaper. I’m certain the article will be that much more impressive with an image to go with it.”“Sure,” I said.The journalist set aside his notebook and started to fiddle with his camera, something that seemed to require a lot of his attention. Meanwhile, Reginald got the three of us to stand closer together. I got to be in the middle, because I was the tallest, with Amaryllis to my right and Awen to my left.“I kind of regret not bringing my captain’s hat,” I said.“It would be a bit ostentatious,” Amaryllis said. “Best to look somewhat humble, as a contrast to the story itself.”“That sounds surprisingly worrying, coming from you,” I said.Amaryllis grinned. “Now now, I said nothing but the truth.”“She didn’t lie,” Awen conceded. “But, ah, I think Amaryllis said the truth in an interesting way?”“That sounds like something she would do,” I said.“I’m literally standing right next to you,” Amaryllis said.I grinned at her. “I know. I can feel you. Your feathers are nice and soft today. Have you been doing something special with them?”She gave me an unamused look. “You’re a moron. Also, no, but the temperature here is more agreeable than I expected. Feathers tend to be somewhat more temperamental than hair or fur, I think. At least when it comes to things like humidity and pressure.”That was interesting. “Neat.”“Ah, yes, could everyone squeeze in a little closer?” the journalist asked. “Mister Reginald, yourself as well.”Reginald stepped to the side so that he was next to Awen. Close, but not so close that he was actually touching her. “Like so?” he asked.The journalist nodded. “That’s great. Is this anyone’s first photograph?”Amaryllis was the only one to nod. She blinked then looked at me. “You’ve been in photos?”“Plenty?” I said.“Oh. Well, I haven’t.”“Just blink a lot after the flash,” I said.“Alright everyone,” the journalist said. “Look into the lens here, that’s right.”“And say cheeeese!” I said as the pan exploded with a bright burst of light.
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