Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Five — Love is Being Stupid
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Five — Love is Being Stupid I really wasn't sure what to do. Our mission was to save Mister Aberrforth, but that mostly hinged on him being in the sort of trouble that someone needed saving from. There were a lot of scenarios we'd considered on the walk over. Maybe we'd discover that he was just too busy to report in, maybe he was injured and couldn't move, maybe he was stuck?But none of us had considered that Mister Aberrforth might just be madly in love. With a very heavy emphasis on the madly part. This behaviour didn't seem... sane, exactly."Any ideas?" I asked Awen.She shrugged. "We can conk him on the head and drag him back? Uncle said that he had to do that to some friends a few times, and he said that he was conked on the head a whole lot too."That might explain some things about Abraham, but I wasn't sure if giving poor Mister Aberrforth a concussion was a good idea. "We could drag him back," I said."Ladies," he interjected. "I don't mean to disparage either of you or your efforts, but I'm afraid that I have a tier up on both of you and quite a bit of physical strength besides. You won't be moving me so easily.""Dang," I said. "But we have a mission to save you, sir.""Ah, there's no saving me, ladies. My heart was stolen already.""In a metaphorical way?" I asked, just to be sure. I was very certain that we were dealing with some sort of magic user here, and there was always the risk that his heart really had been stolen. I stared at this doublet. No signs of blood or anything... then again, I had just blasted him with Cleaning magic, so I might have removed any signs of surgery.Sir Aberrforth sighed. "In the purely metaphorical sense, yes," he replied, smiling wistfully. "Laine has captured my heart, and I intend to prove myself to her, no matter how many tests she puts me through."Awen frowned. "But what if she's just... you know, taking advantage of you? This seems a bit extreme, even for a test of love.""I appreciate your concern," he said, his voice kind but firm. "But I assure you, I know what I'm doing. Laine is worth every challenge, every hardship. She's... unique."I traded another look with Awen. What were we supposed to do? We couldn't drag him back, and we couldn't just go back to the guild and report that the Explorer we were sent to rescue was unrescuable on account of suddenly falling in love. Well... I could, but I didn't think Mathilde would be happy with that explanation."Can we at least talk to her?" I asked. "Maybe we can, uh, negotiate or something? We should at least make sure that you're not being mistreated." Tying someone to a pole wasn't a healthy way to love them.Sir Aberrforth seemed to consider this, then nodded slowly. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. Laine is... stubborn, but she's also reasonable. If she sees you're here out of genuine concern, she might listen."I glanced back to where the others were hidden. "Give me a moment," I said before stepping away to signal them. Two quick bursts of Cleaning magic, indicating a non-hostile but complicated circumstance.Awen and I approached the cottage, keeping a wary eye on our surroundings. It was strange, being so nervous and wary in such an otherwise peaceful looking place. Well, if I overlooked the man tied to a pole, of course. Oh, and the creepy effigies. It was easy to forget about those.The door to the stone house opened just as we reached the edge of the garden, and an older woman stepped out. She was tall, with wild, curly white hair and eyes that seemed to pierce right through me. She wore a long, flowing dress adorned with various charms and symbols, and carried a staff that glowed faintly with magic.From the way she jumped a bit on seeing us, I think we spooked her.She stared at us for a moment before speaking. "Who are you?" she asked. "How did you get past my security?""Your security?" I asked."The effigies," she snapped. "They put the fear of the World in any man approaching my home."I blinked. So that's what they'd been tuned for. "But I'm not a man, I'm Broccoli," I said. "And this is Awen."Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site."Hello."Laine stared for a moment longer, then groaned. "I tuned the effigies and curses to trigger under specific conditions that would exclude myself. Ah, I overlooked some things, it seems. All this nature's making me soft.""Um, I suppose? I don't think soft is bad? In any case, we're part of the Exploration Guild, we're here because, um, Sir Aberrforth hasn't been in contact and we're a bit worried about him."Laine's eyes narrowed. "Worried, are you? And you think he needs rescuing?"I nodded. "Well, kind of. He seems to think he's here because of some sort of test of love?" I gestured to Sir Aberrforth who was grinning like a loon."You can take him," she said."Oh, thank you," I replied."No!" Sir Aberrforth shouted, struggling against his bonds. "I will not leave until I've proven my love to you, Laine. I am committed to this, no matter the cost."Laine sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Aberrforth, your determination is admirable, but you must understand, this isn't about enduring physical hardship. It's about understanding my world, my way of life."Sir Aberrforth shook his head. "And I will! Whatever it takes. I love you!""Did you know him before he showed up here?" I asked.Laine shook her head. "No, I didn't know him. He stumbled upon my home while I was tending to my garden. His men were too scared to approach because of the effigies, but Aberrforth, despite the pain, sent them away and came to me. His attempt at conversation was... less than charming, given his condition."Sir Aberrforth winced. "I admit, I was a bit worse for wear."Laine crossed her arms, looking at him sternly. "You were a mess. I tied him up to keep him from injuring himself further and to make sure he wasn't a threat. I've been feeding him and tending to his wounds."I nodded slowly. "So, he's been here under your care, and he's decided that he loves you?""Seems so," Laine said, glancing at Aberrforth with a mix of exasperation and maybe something softer. Or maybe it was the sappy romantic in me that was hoping there was something softer."Could you let him go, at least?" Awen asked. "He seems pretty determined, and we won't leave without him."Laine sighed again. "Fine. I'll release him, but you must convince him to leave. I don't need his kind of trouble."She approached Aberrforth and, with a few deft movements and a quickly cast spell, untied the ropes binding him to the pole. He stood up, rubbing his wrists, and gave her a grateful nod. Then he dropped to one knee. "Thank you, Laine. But my resolve remains unchanged. From the moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew that we were desti-"Laine cut him off with a not-so-gentle application of her staff to his shin. "Stubborn fool," she said with a roll of her eyes."Sir Aberrforth," I said gently, "We have a mission to complete. Can we please take you back with us? And, uh, where are the men that were with you?"Aberrforth's face softened. "I understand your concern, Broccoli, truly. But my heart is set. Laine, I will prove my worth to you in a way that respects your world and your ways. Just give me a chance."Laine didn't look as amused now. "You didn't answer the girl-child's question about your men.""Oh, they're fine," he dismissed. "I was exploring the region for some magical traces of a particularly interesting kind of rock with mana retaining properties, you see. There was once a thriving little community in these woods a long time ago, and they had many tools and weapons imbued with magic that could only... bah, anyway. Laine is more important than any magic, I say!""Uh, sure. And your team is?" I asked."In a large cave structure to the north west of here," he said.Laine's hand met her face with a smack. "No," she said."No?" I repeated."He never told me that part, just that he sent his men away. World damnit, I have better things to do than this!" Laine huffed, spun on a heel, and stomped off towards her home, but she did so with the kind of energy that suggested that she'd be right back, and probably not in a better mood.
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Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Six — The Unnatural Power of Love
Chapter Four Hundred and Ninety-Six — The Unnatural Power of Love Awen and I looked at each other, then turned towards Sir Aberrforth. "So, uh, how are your wrists?"The older gentleman laughed and shook his hands out. "Well enough! It's nice to have blood in my hands once more, I worried that they might fall off, sooner or later.""That's kind of concerning," I said."Bah! I'd show my dear Laine my devotion, hands or no!""Uh, alrighty then," I said. Awen shared a small, clueless shrug with me. She didn't know what was going on with this guy any more than I did, it seemed.Sir Aberrforth didn't seem like the kind of person that was in any way easy to understand. What was a little weird was his obsession and the degree he was going for it.Laine didn't seem like the sort to ensorcel someone. If she did, I think she'd use it to tell Sir Aberrforth to buzz off before anything else."Have you ever fallen in love like this before?" I asked."Oh, several times!" he said."Ah," I replied. "And was it always this... bad?""If by 'bad,' you mean has the aching longing of love in my heart? Then no, this love exceeds all the others, Laine is truly the most special of them all.""Uh-huh," I said. "So it never worked out with any of the others?""Alas! Those I have fallen for have oft told me that my love is too great," he said."Love certainly can be ... overwhelming," I said. "Maybe we can work something out? I mean, I don't mean to brag, but I'm something of an expert at love making.""Awa?" Awen awa'd."I love all of my friends, and they love me back, I think!" I nodded. "So you could say that I'm an expert at creating love!""Broccoli, I don't think, um... oh, nevermind."Laine returned then, dressed in a set of robes and holding a bag under one arm. Her staff was gone, replaced by a walking stick. "So," she said, looking a bit crosser than before, "You intend to help Aberrforth's men?""Um, yes?" I replied."Good. They can escort him back to his guild and he'll be out of my hair. I'll come along to keep an eye on things and to ensure that he doesn't try and do anything stupid.""That's good, I think," I said. "I'm not really sure what to do with Sir Aberrforth here. He seems, um, set in his ways.""He's an idiot," Laine said.I bit my lip. It was true that Sir Aberrforth didn't seem ... rational ... but calling him an idiot was a bit mean.Awen cleared her throat. "Shall we get going, then?""Actually, two things. First, what's in that cave? You panicked a little when he mentioned it," I said."Ah," Laine said. "This place used to be a small town. There was a cave nearby, and the village was a sort of staging area for adventurers to go in and bring out the ore." She gestured past her garden and to a small rock wall. "That used to be a home. That over there, the mound? That was an inn, and that one," she said, pointing to a large flat stone, "was a communal oven.""Was it a grenoil village?" I asked."No," was all she said. "It was human, long before the grenoil moved out of their marshes. But it doesn't matter. It and its neighbours are gone now.""Oh," I said. "You still haven't said what's in the cave.""The town had a problem with some monsters in the mines. Some brave young souls went down into the mines and didn't come back, then some went after the first ones, and more, until there were too many missing and the mines were closed.""And now the cave has something living in it," I said."I think there's been something living in that cave from the very beginning," Laine said. "What was that second thing? I don't want to linger.""Uh, sure. The second thing is, well, I was wondering when it would be a good time to mention that Awen and I didn't come here alone?"Laine scowled at me, then gestured in a small circle with her walking stick. I felt something blow past me, like a subtle wind, but more. If I hadn't been practising with magic so much, I wouldn't have noticed it at all. She huffed. "You can come out now!" she called out towards the forest.I turned that way too. "Uh, it's safe!" I said before waving. "She's actually kinda nice!"Calamity stepped out first, hand on the shaft of his bow, but he hadn't nocked an arrow. Then Amaryllis and Desiree followed him out of the brush. They were a whole lot noisier than the catboy. "Hello!" Calamity said."Why are so many people invading my corner of the woods today?" Laine asked. "How did you even find my place?"You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story."We asked some pixies," I said.Her eye twitched, just a smidge, and her mouth pursed. "Those little devils," she grumbled."Oh, you know them?""Unfortunately. They're pests," she said."Well, I think they're adorable," I said."I question your taste," she muttered.Amaryllis huffed, a very 'yeah me too' kind of huff. "A pleasure to meet you," she said. "I'm Amaryllis, this is Desiree. I've been eyeing your spellwork on those effigies. It's pretty intricate."Laine's response was a noncommittal grunt. "Are we going to do anything about Aberrforth's team, or not?""Of course," I said.Sir Aberrforth stepped forward. "If it's alright with you, my dear Laine, I'd like to accompany our little rescue party. If my team is in danger, then I'd rather not delay. And if harm were to befall you, my dear, it would wound me more than anything.""Please stop calling me that," she said. "We're not... ugh, whatever. You're a grown man. Come or don't, but try not to get in the way."Laine spun around and stomped off, leaving the rest of us to catch up. Calamity sidled up next to me pretty quickly. "So, what's with the witch?" he asked with a gesture towards Laine. "And the old man?""Love," I said.He chuckled. "What, really?""Yep," I said. "It's pretty intense, and pretty one-sided. I, uh, think that Sir Aberrforth is... nice, but maybe not the best at romance?"Amaryllis gave the man a look. "Well, whatever. We can drag him kicking and screaming before Mathilde and he can explain himself to her later." Judging by his wince, he wasn't fond of that idea. "In the meantime, did she say anything about where we're going?""Oh, right! We're going to a cave! Sir Aberrforth sent his team that way earlier. Miss Laine seems to think that the place is either cursed, or dangerous, or where a monster lives? Actually, she wasn't terribly specific except to say that it was dangerous."Laine stopped on the edge of the clearing behind her home, then raised her walking stick and thumped it on the ground a few times. There was a rustle that ran through all the trees and all the plants in her garden. "What we find in those caverns might not be any sort of joke, child.""Child?" I asked. "I mean, I'm still young, but I'm not a child. Besides, you're still pretty young-looking too!" My mom always liked it when I said she looked young, besides, Laine looked about mom-aged.She sniffed. "I take care of myself," she said."Oh, you do, truly, your countenance is most mag-" Sir Aberrforth cut himself off as Calamity touched his shoulder and shook his head."So, do you think the thing in the cave is undead?" I asked as I bounced ahead and caught up with Laine. "I sure hope so, that'd make things easier.""You think fighting the undead is easy?" Laine asked sceptically.I nodded. "Yup! Much easier than the not-undead. Uh, the living, I guess. Unless they're undead who can think and feel, which is a whole different thing."Laine eyed me."What?""You're not lying. Not even a little bit," she said."Of course not. I'd never lie about undead, they're super interesting! Honestly, ideally, you can befriend undead; they make great friends! I made friends with a skull once, you know? He was a bard... before he was a skull. Well, actually, he probably had a skull as a bard and even before that, but... uh, I'm getting ahead of myself, I think."Laine stopped, and the others behind her nearly ran into each other trying not to bump into the back of the line. The witch had pinned me with an intense, owlish expression. "Are you insane?""If I were, would it matter?""Awa, I think Broccoli is... well, Broccoli. She's hard to describe, but I think she's fine.""Thanks Awen! I don't think I'm that hard to describe, though. I'm just friendly, right?"Awen pointedly glanced away, refusing to meet my eyes.I pouted. "Hey, I am just friendly, right? I'm not weird, right?"Amaryllis snorted.I whirled toward her. "Not you too, Amaryllis! You're one of my oldest and best friends! You can tell them the truth, about how I'm super friendly!"She turned away, shoulders shaking. Was ... was she holding back laughter???I crossed my arms and copied one of her "I'm done with this conversation" huffs. "Fine then!" I said. "Be that way! I don't need you to tell people how friendly I am!"I smiled at Laine. "I'll prove it!"For some reason, Laine got a nervous look on her face.
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