Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-One — Once is Happenstance, Twice is Enemy Action
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-One — Once is Happenstance, Twice is Enemy Action Amaryllis and I got some looks as we swept around the second level balcony on a route aiming to the opposite side. Or maybe it was mostly me who was getting the looks because I was carrying a plate covered in one of every kind of snack they had set aside.“What’s this one called?” I asked as I raised one of the... were they called hors-d'œuvres?Amaryllis glanced my way, then rolled her eyes. “That’s just a bit of biscuit with some cold cuts,” she said. “I don’t doubt the chefs have a name for it, but I don’t think anyone would bother learning it.”“Well it’s yummy,” I said, plopping the whole thing in my mouth.Her reaction was to shake her head, but I caught that little bit of a smile she was trying to suppress. “You’re making a scene,” she said with a gesture all around us.I really wasn’t. There were some people looking our way, but the way they looked wasn’t the sort you’d get from making a scene, more like they were keeping an eye around them while trading gossip with their friends. There were circles around some loud people who were telling stories, often punctuated by tittering laughter, and some of the more fancy people had entire retinues of slightly less fancy people all around them.Really, other than the venue, species, food, and culture in general, it was just like a barbeque back home.“Do you want one?” I asked as I wiggled the plate around next to her. It earned me a flat look from the harpy, but she did relent and took a little sausage stuck on the end of a wooden skewer.“Rose and Awen are over there,” Amaryllis said with a nod to the far end of the room.“Should we go see them?” I asked. “I felt like this was more an event to, you know, mingle with new people that we haven’t met before. And not people like that Francisco guy. Nice ones.”“It may have flown past your head, being that you are incredibly dense, but I don’t exactly have an overwhelming number of friends here,” Amaryllis said.“Aww,” I said. “When isn’t this the best time to make new friends?” I moved to intercept her with a hug, but she was too cunning and mean and she ducked under my arm, moving to my other side so that I couldn't side-hug her without shifting my snack plate around.“Don’t start,” she said. “I’m certain you’ll find someone to annoy into becoming your friend. You can amaze them with your incredibly pedestrian skills.”“I’ll do my best,” I said.“Idiot,” she huffed. It was a happy huff though, so it was okay. “Rose seems to have found an old fiancee of her own to argue with.”I looked over to the far end of the room. Rosaline and Awen had found a quiet enough spot right next to the rails overlooking the dancefloor below. They were holding hands, which was very cute, but there was a young harpy man wiggling a talon right in front of Rosaline’s face and talking in a low growl that I couldn’t understand from where I was, but I could tell it wasn’t happy.“Maybe they need help?” I asked.And then the harpy took a goblet of wine and splashed it across Awen’s front before spinning on a heel and walking off.I gasped in time with Awen. Amaryllis’ reaction was a lot more visceral. “Go see Rose and Awen.”“What? What about you?”Amaryllis cracked her knuckles. “I’m going to see if the staff can dispose of corpses.”I yoinked Amaryllis back before she had time to stomp off. “Wait, wait, no killing the mean nobles,” I said. “Let’s both make sure our friends are safe first.”We arrived to find Rosaline sponging the wine off of Awen’s front while Awen ‘awawad.’ “That jerk,” Rosaline was muttering. “Coming over here and not taking ‘because you’re an idiot’ for an answer. Who does he think he is?”“Are you okay?” I asked as I stepped closer. The damage to Awen’s dress... was pretty bad. But I was sure I could clean it off in a jiffy. “Oh no,” I said as I tugged at some of the soggy red-stained cloth over Awen’s top. “I can clean this off.”Amaryllis placed a hand on my shoulder. “Do it in the washroom,” she said before turning back to Rosaline. “Did that come out of nowhere or did you provoke the idiot?”“Well, I wasn’t exactly friends with him, but that reaction was a bit much,” Rosaline said.Amaryllis nodded. “Yeah. Francisco was also being a bigger jerk than usual. I’m beginning to suspect some sort of conspiracy here.” She pointed off to one side. “Broccoli, want to bring Awen over to get cleaned? Rose and I will find Clem and compare notes. Food hasn’t even been served yet, World damn it.”“Uh, alright,” I said. Awen finally let go of Rosaline and stepped up next to me. “We’ll be back in a bit.”“Take your time,” Amaryllis said.I was a bit worried, but Amaryllis probably had things in talon, so I walked up next to Awen and we moved away from our friends. “Are you really okay?” I asked Awen.“Um. Things were really nice until that harpy showed up,” Awen said. She grew a faint little blush. “Really nice. We were just talking about ships and then he showed up and started being very rude. He called me an... uncouth word, and then Rosa started telling him off. It was very sudden.”“Huh,” I said. Maybe there really was a conspiracy going on? One targeting the Albatross girls? It could be a coincidence, of course, but Amaryllis didn’t think so. “Why do you think people would be mean to the Albatross?” I asked.“Awa... there could be lots of reasons, but, uh, it’s usually about either money or power,” Awen said. “Back home my parents worked hard to stay at the top, and to make sure that they had a finger in every business that was starting to grow big. Maybe the airship business is becoming that way?”Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.“You’d think they would have acted before,” I said.“There wasn’t a possibility of a war before. That will mean lots of ships, and lots of money and power to the people making those ships,” Awen said. “If the Albatross can decide who gets to captain them, then that’s even more power for them.”“That’s a dumb reason to embarrass people at a ball,” I said. “How will that help anyone?”Awen squirmed a bit. “It’s about appearances. For the Albatross to be able to function they probably need contracts and workers and all sorts of things to go right. If people think that they’re not trustworthy, or if they think that the family has a lot of, um, drama going on, then they’ll maybe reconsider working with them.”I scowled at the floor. “That’s silly,” I said.“It’s how it works,” Awen replied.We found a washroom at the back, an open room with a maid by the entrance who asked us if we needed assistance with anything, but I waved her off and said that we were alright.The inside of the washroom had a fountain and some benches next to banks of flowers in big pots. That was before reaching the sinks at the back or the little corridors leading off to what I assumed were the actual toilets. It was bigger than my home back on Earth.“Fancy,” I said.Awen shrugged. “Some ladies spend a lot of time here. It’s... quieter.”I didn’t ask if she was one of those ladies that ran off to hide during balls back in Mattergrove. “Let’s see about cleaning off that wine,” I said. “I can’t believe someone would try to ruin someone else’s dress like that.”I heard steps from deeper in the washroom but politely ignored them until someone cleared their throat. “Do you need any assistance with that?”Awen and I turned and both looked down at the same time as we faced a sylph. She was rather short, a full head and a bit shorter than me, with long black hair that had gone grey on the edges and big eyes that had the wrinkles that some people grew when they smiled a lot.“Hi!” I said. “And thanks for the offer, but I think I’ve got this one.” I pinched my tongue between my teeth and allowed a nice big glob of cleaning magic to form over my hand. A swipe down wiped the front of Awen’s dress clean of any wine. “See.”“Impressive,” the sylph lady said. “Most people don’t bother learning Cleaning magic, despite its utility.”“I learn it for fighting, really,” I said. “It’s handy in a lot of other ways too. You just need to be creative.”The woman blinked, then smiled a little. “I see. If you don’t mind me asking, what is a bun and a human doing at a harpy ball about visiting Sylphfree?”“Oh, we’re going to Sylphfree too,” I said. “We have our own ship and everything.”“Do you?” she asked.Awen nodded. “Yes. Um. Broccoli is our captain.”I blinked. We hadn’t actually decided that, but I wouldn’t say no to the title. “Yeah, sure. Awen here’s our mechanic. She’s real good.”“Interesting,” the lady said. “I’m being rather rude. My name is Evalyn Sunshrike, countess of Granite Springs.”“Neat,” I said. “I’m Broccoli Bunch, and this is one of my very best friends, Awen Bristlecone.”“Hello,” Awen said.“A pleasure,” Evalyn said. “Bristlecone, that’s from Mattergrove? And Bunch... I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the name, but I do believe most buns are from Cinderrun to the far west, so that’s little surprise.”“Oh, nah, I’m from Earth,” I said. “And I’m a human... was a human?” I gestured to my normal, non-bun ears. “See.”“Oh,” she said. “Even more interesting. A person that had a racial change and who’s the captain of her own ship at... you can’t be more than eighteen.”“Around there,” I agreed. “What about you? Why’re you at the ball?”Evalyn gave me a shrewd look. “Why, to see all the bickering and in-fighting of course. There’s not nearly as much of that back home, so I take what pleasure from the drama that I can.”“Really?” I asked. “Oh, can you tell us about the sylphs? We’ll be going there soon and it’d be really neat if we didn’t stick out like people who didn’t know anything.”Evalyn made a noise at the back of her throat that I suspected was laughter. “I’m afraid there’s little chance of that. But I can certainly give you a few pointers. What do you know about the sylph and our culture?”“Nothing at all,” I said.“And yet you’re going to fly over to us soon?”“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, we’re being all subtle and political about it,” I said.“Awa, maybe we shouldn’t have said that,” Awen pointed out.“Oops?”The sylph made that laughing noise again. “You two are quite charming, I’ve no doubt that my countrymen would absolutely hate dealing with you.”“Huh?”She nodded. “Oh yes. As much as I love my nation it’s rather... mired in bureaucracy. Anything that doesn’t fit into its own neat little box tends to get on the nerves of some of my fellows. I think that if you do want to visit, you should try playing up the fact that you’re clueless foreigners.” Evalyn’s smile was almost predatory. “That way you can catch them off guard.”“Oh, that’s a great idea. I’m really good at looking like I’m clueless,” I said.Evalyn actually laughed out loud at that. “If you girls are done here, would you like to meet some of my comrades? Maybe they’ll be able to help you on your trip over to Sylphfree.”I nodded. “I think that would be really nice,” I said.
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Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two — Peace Through Overwhelming Friendpower
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two — Peace Through Overwhelming Friendpower Evalyn led us out of the washrooms with a sweep of her long robes and a flutter of her wings. “This way,” she said. “I’m certain that some of my comrades at least will be welcoming, more so than some harpies, I’m sure.”“That sounds nice,” I said as I skipped along. “So, what’s it like having wings?” I asked.She glanced over her shoulder at me, then down to her wings. “I never gave it too much thought. We’re born with them, you see. Most of us are flying about before we’re even a year old.”“I guess you wouldn’t really think about it, then,” I said. “I hope that my next class evolution gives me wings. It would be super neat.”Evalyn made her laughing noise and nodded. “I’m certain that you’d enjoy the freedom of flight. It’s one of the greatest things about being a Sylph. We rule the airs, and have for a very long time.”I was pretty sure someone like Amaryllis would have something to say about that.She brought us up a floor onto the topmost balcony, then moved towards a shadowy corner that was even darker than that table where I'd gotten my food. At this point you probably would stumble into a chair. It was also behind a few awkwardly placed pillars. “Do sylphs have good night vision?” I asked.“No more than humans or buns,” Evalyn said.“Then why are your tables all in the dark?”“Petty harpy politics?” Evalyn wondered aloud. “Or maybe they just want to keep us out of sight and mind as they bask in their own glory?” She didn’t sound all that happy there.“Well, that’s just rude,” I said.She nodded. “I won’t disagree.”The tables in the back all had a few sylph sitting or standing around them. There seemed to be an order to them. The more decorations they had on their chest, the more likely it was that they were sitting down with a few less-decorated sylph standing behind them.Those who weren’t in uniform likewise had those standing behind them, but the difference there was made more obvious by the appearance of their dress. The prettier the outfit, the higher the station, I guessed.“Do the sylph have a, uh, caste system?” I asked.“Hm? No. We pride ourselves on being a meritocracy. Though I’ll admit that even with actions taken to subdue nepotism, it’s still something that appears quite frequently,” Evalyn said. “I wasn’t born a countess. My father was merely a soldier at the start of his career, and I began as a lesser diplomat a... rather long time ago, let’s say.”“Neat,” I said.“Come, we can skip the business people. As useful as they might be, they’ll only bore you with numbers.” We crossed the first few rows of sylphs and headed towards the middle tables. They were occupied by some of the best dressed and most medal-festooned sylphs around.There were three groups occupying the centremost table. A male sylph in a well-tailored suit with two guards behind him, a woman in black plate armour over what I suspected was leather (who also had a pair of equally-armoured sylph behind her), and a sylph that looked like he was dressed like a military dictator out of a satire. That last one had to be a noble.“You’re back, Lady Sunshrike,” the noble in the bunch asked.“Lord Winterfall,” she replied with a gracious nod. “I am. And I found some interesting companions while I was away. It seems as if our kind hosts might have extended them the same courtesy they gave us.”“Ah,” I said. “It wasn’t that bad. Just a bit of a slip-up with some wine,” I said before grinning to the table. “Hi!”“Awa, hello,” Awen said before she dipped into a curtsy.“Always saving innocents, huh Evalyn?” the military guy said.“I wouldn’t call this saving innocents,” Evalyn said. “More like making interesting new friends. Captain Bunch here, and her companion Miss Bristlecone, are both taking their airship to visit our fine nation soon.”“Oh?” the military man asked. “Now that’ll be interesting.” He turned towards us fully and I had the impression he was eyeing me up and down. “Are you part of the diplomatic mission?” he asked.“Not quite,” I said. “We just figured that mission wouldn’t work out so we might as well try to stop any war ourselves.”The man blinked twice, then roared with laughter. “How proactive! I love it. I’m Commodore Autumngale. I’m in charge of making sure all these fine diplomats make it out of this harpy-infested hillside and back home in one piece.”“Neat!” I said. “That sounds like a great job. Also, your rank sounds cool.”“Why thank you,” he said. “I have the impression that you have no idea what it means.”“Not even the slightest clue,” I said with a bright smile.He laughed some more at that, then turned to the armoured lady next to him. “She’s an interesting one, isn’t she Storm?”“She is,” the woman said. Her voice was a croaking whisper, like she was forcing the words out. I glanced her way and took in the scars running across her throat for just a moment before snapping my attention away. I didn’t want to make her feel bad by staring. “How do you intend to make it to Sylphfree, Captain Bunch?” she asked.“By flying?” I asked.She smiled a little as she shook her head. “Getting there is, perhaps, easy. Making it past the patrols without the proper forms and registrations, on the other hand, might prove a little complicated.”“I guess just showing up to the port and saying that we’re there to stop a war from maybe happening isn’t going to work?”Storm sighed. “I’m afraid not. There is already much debate over whether there is even a hint of warmongering in the future, though the cervid are always rearing for it. We’ve grown used to peace, and I think we would all rather keep things as they are.”The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.“So I’d need some sort of permit to land?” I asked. I was willing to bet that Clementine had already figured that one out. “Where can I get one?”The Storm woman tapped her chin, then looked over her shoulder to the younger of the two armoured sylphs standing there. “Bastion, you mentioned having to return to Sylphfree a little bit sooner than the main expedition?”The sylph, Bastion, stood taller, his armour clunking a bit with the motion. He was a pretty tall sylph, which meant that he came up to my nose when standing ramrod straight, and his armour, all black and rather on the spiky side, was shiny and new looking. Either it really was new, or he took a lot of care with it. “Yes, Inquisitor Storm,” he said. “I was charged to bring back some important parcels to the homeland.”“Well there you go,” Storm said. “Captain Bunch, were you planning on leaving earlier than the main expedition?”“Uh,” I said. “Not really, but the Beaver’s pretty much ready except for a few things. He’s getting retrofitted right now. Awen?”“Awa... I think we could leave soon enough, yes,” she said.“Would it be possible for you to rent a room to a couple inquisitors?” Storm asked.I looked over to Awen who shrugged at me. I figured that meant the decision was mine. “Uh, we do have some extra rooms on the Beaver. Do sylphs have a special diet or anything? Or can we just bring whatever food we would bring normally?”Evalyn made her laughing noise again. “We’ll eat anything a human will,” she said. “Or most of us will; there’s no accounting for taste.”“I assure you, Captain Bunch,” Bastion said as he stepped around the table. “That I am not a picky eater. And I can assist your crew if I happen to be taking someone else’s berth.”“Well, in that case, I guess you’re welcome aboard,” I said. I grinned at the whole table. I didn’t doubt that they had their own ulterior motives, but that was okay. If I could help them while they helped me a little, then that was totally alright. It was a great way to start a friendship.“I look forward to flying with you,” Bastion said as he extended a hand to me.I took his hand and shook. “Me too-” I began.Bastion’s eyes went wide and his genial, polite look faded into shock for a moment before he tore his hand back, reached for his belt, and pulled out a knife.I was caught entirely flat-footed as the sylph stepped up into my guard and placed the edge of the knife against my throat in a motion so smooth and fast it looked straight out of a movie.“What?” I asked. The word alone was enough to make the cold steel tickly my throat.“Who are you?” Bastion asked.By then, Storm and Commodore Autumngale were on their feet. “Bastion!” Storm rasped. “Explain.”“She... this woman has committed more crimes than the worst scoundrel I have ever met,” he said. “Her record is as black as pitch.”“Please back away from Broccoli,” Awen asked. She looked like she was torn between staring at Bastion and his knife and looking for one of her own on the tables around us.We were gathering a fair bit of attention from them. “Um, Mister Bastion,” I said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”Evalyn slowly, carefully, brought her arm up between us and placed it on Bastion’s hand. “Sir Bastion,” she said. “Miss Bunch isn’t of or in our nation. I’m afraid that she isn’t beholden to our laws.”Bastion’s face contorted. “I understand, Lady Sunshrike, but her crimes... they, they’re awful.”“Uh,” I said. “Can anyone explain?”Lord Winterfell shifted in his seat. He, of all those at or around the table, looked the least uncomfortable. “I think I can enlighten you, captain. It’s rather simple: The Royal Order of Paladins of the World has a rather unique ability to tell, by touch, whether a person is guilty of a crime. Not the exact crime, mind you, but the level of... I suppose criminality they have committed. It is one of the ways we keep things nice and tidy back home.”“But, but I haven’t done anything wrong,” I said. “At least, I don’t think.”“The interpretation of what is or isn’t a crime is based on the paladin’s understanding of the laws. Most are quite well educated and could recite entire law books from rote,” he said.“Um,” Awen said. “Maybe Broccoli did something that’s okay here but not in Sylphfree?” she asked.“Oh, like that time I kidnapped you?”Now I was getting looks again.“Captain Bunch,” Inquisitor Storm asked. “Would you mind if I touched you? I’m certain that Sir Bastion’s interpretation of the law is accurate, but perhaps I can lend a bit more nuance to the situation.”“Sure?” I said as I extended a hand towards the woman.The sylph, who as it turns out was probably the smallest member of the race I’d yet seen, took my hand in hers and frowned off into the air. She hissed between her teeth and locked gazes with me. “You... don’t make sense.”“Uh.”“Your criminality is... impossibly high. It’s as if you went around breaking dungeon cores while on dragon-back. But your morality score is exceptionally high as well. On the latter alone you would be considered a paragon of good citizenship.”I shrugged. “Okay? I can probably explain most of the, uh, laws I broke? Maybe?”“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I think we’d all really appreciate an explanation.”Then, because the world clearly had it in for me, that was when the Albatross sisters arrived.
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